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#sorry ive been thinking abt him the past couple days and im going a little insane about him.
sovaharbor · 2 years
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i think the changes to st john to make him just an extra-quirky australian comedic relief character make a lot of sense when you view it in a "holy shit i'm alive again" lens. and also a "wow i wasn't valued enough as a person to be anything other than a guinea pig" lens. because yeah if i got revived but found out they had no idea if i'd even come back right so i was just an experiment, i'd be a little fucked up from that and if i wasn't the type of person to process my emotions in a healthy way i too would probably get a face tattoo and cope with humor 24/7 to ignore how fucking awful i feel.
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zolwbozydar · 2 years
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so since @bitchthemed tagged me on her post i guess im coming back from my hiatus for a sec to list my six albums ive been listening to a lot lately. ive allowed myself to only list one album from each performer as to not embarrass myself too gravely. hdsbhds. still embarrassing myself here because i dont have that much of a diverse or interesting taste
1. Because the Internet by Childish Gambino
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(sorry that the gif is so small compared to the other album covers btw. i just wanted it to be a gif and this one is of a satisfying quality) literally listened to it when i saw the email notif. what a great album istg. its really interesting musically, it has a particular plotline (that i sadly havent payed that much attention to that but im planning on focusing more on that in the meantime) and a lot of lore behind it and im so excited to dig into it. its really interesting considering Glover's acting / directing history (actually, interestingly enough, i started getting more interested in him as a musician only after watching Community, where he played). one of my friends got that cd as a birthday gift and since then i kinda went back to listen to this album more. its really, really interesting, both musically and lyrically. one of my favourite albums in general (although that will be a trend here. i keep on relistening to my fav albums these days)
2. Folié a deux by Fall Out Boy
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i wore my folie a deux tshirt two days ago so i really really had to listen to it. it was my fav fob album back in middle school and man it still holds. makes me feel very. free and maybe angry but in that joyous way. more. energetic rather than angry i guess. it both reminds me of a particular time in my life and just sounds amazing. ive read a tumblr post abt it so im not gonna ask the question of why was it badly received back in its time but yeah i cant help but disagree with past fob fans. its. probably still my fav album of their? although its hard to decide. infinity on high and from under the cork tree are both similarly close to me (with a slight leaning to infinitys direction) and both could probably be on this list as well if not for my selecting choices
3. I Brought You My Bullets, You Brought Me Your Love by My Chemical Romance
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sigh. is anyone surprised that mcr is here. i liked them for some time now (started during the first pandemic i think?) but since foundations of decay got released and they toured and their concert in my country was getting closer i started REALLY getting into them. like downright obssessing. bullets was the hardest to like as a newbie but over time it really really grew on me and ive come to appreciate it a lot. things that felt a bit too rough to me before have uncovered their beauty before me and the roughness feels appropriate considering the subject matter. it also has a couple of songs that feel really appropriate considering the teenage angst im going through these days. sidenote: other mcr albums that couldve been here are three cheers for sweet revenge and the black parade. man. beloved
4. Razzmatazz by I DONT KNOW HOW BUT THEY FOUND ME
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what a truly original sound. idkhow captured me by the. weirdness? the quirkiness of its topic, and as i was joyously singing along to songs about murderviolence and whatnot i was subtly dosed with an unimaginable amount of softness hiding beneath. truly a heartwrenching experience. its still a joyous listen and 80s (? im guessing. im not a musical genius, sadly.) vibes are. yesss
5. A Fever You Can't Sweat Out by Panic! At The Disco
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yes i know panic just below idkhow is a pretty ironic choice. but we're not talking abt brendons endeavors here. that album is so beloved to me. i really like the. uhh. victorian aesthetic of it? sorry i have little to no idea what im talking about. i do like the aura it builds, a vibe. lyrically its a feast, i wish i could wield words like Ryan does. i used to hold a feeling of guilt related to this album (and mcrs three cheers for sweet revenge) because it reminded me of a person i hurt. i dont really feel that way anymore and i only feel excitement when i listen to it now. what an album!!!
6. Born To Die (The Paradise Edition) by Lana del Rey
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so this one is a bit of a reach because i havent been listening to it that much that recently but i kinda mostly. listen to my biggest playlist on loop and also i didnt want it to just have fall out boy and my chemical romances discography in random order. anyways, i have a soft spot for this album. it reminds me of my childhood (oof thats a sentence) not because i relate to the experiences that much but rather because i listened to it a lot when i was like. twelve? thirteen? before you call social services, english isnt my first language and i didnt really. get that deep below the surface. i was just. noises nice d-_-b. anyways. yes yes i know problematic romanticising whatever. i like its main character okay? sometimes you just listen to a girl that is Unwell and you nod and say "so true bestie" despite not relating at all. say whatever you want about lana but this album is a vibe and it stays dedicated to it
uhhhhh i am now realising how long my post is compared to juleses. sowwwyyyyyyyy
im supposed to tag people but honestly i wouldve tagged only my dear mutual ania @dictatorgoddess69 and since prev post did that already its kinda. pointless (still tagging because idk. hope you dont kill me ania)
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nomairuins · 2 months
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CONNOR ON REPEAT REVIEW AND COMMENTARY
1. it boy - bbno$
Its a good song 👍 this one has been on repeat the past couple of days. very catchy and such
2. What I Want - Gregor Mcmurray
this one hit the connor charts like idk May. i say idk. i checked lastfm to be sure. i wouldnt want to spread misinformation 2 my friends in neighbors. this one hit connorworld at the same time as satisfaction which probably is somewhere else on this list. GOOD SONG ! i try not to play it around my little brother bc while hes pretty good abt please and thank you i dont want him to learn a bad lesson. which is a stupid thing 2 think JDBDJFNFN
3. Tell Me - Wonder Girls
this one has been on my list for ages like basically since march or april (it ws around the first time i got back bc lamp did a big songs haul 4 me 💚💚) but idk it came on shuffle the other day and now ive had it on loop. Mainly while i was looking at the deathnote wiki (i do this often i just look t random wikis ive doen this to 5 wikis in the past like. week. have not seen death note) so whenever i hear it i picture misa. sooo yeah
4. Lust for a Vampyr
HUGEEEEE in the connor billboard hot 100 like last month or june . somewhere in there. this one i had going with WHERE ARE THEY NOW. i surposeni was feeling vaguely spooky... great somg 👍 it makes me think abt aus for my fuckass ocs. throwing them at a wall
5. Keep Up - Karma Carr
thank you dunmeshi fandom for making me find out abt this song i love this song. GREAT SONG ! as a great scholar once said i need you working harder baby done with all the yes no maybe.
6. Lay All Your Love On Me
i think somebody annoying did a cover or something or it was a different abba song but it made me mad so i went to go listen to more abba and i got a bit crazy abt this song. GREATTT SOMG i think went crazy roughly the same time as where are they now and lust for a vampyr. smile. or im mixing it up. GREAT SONG! and also. sorry. it makes me think of aus for my fuckass ocs. UGHHH (not talking abt them bc im bad abt them (got frustrated bc my brain doesnt work) but it makes me think of cadaver sooooo hard its crazy. but its also a great song if u arent thinking about a feak. obviously.)
7. She Keeps Me Up - Nickelback
one dont mock me im a beautiful woman. okay. i was having a nostalgic phase ans while neither this song or the song i was looping it concurrently with r songs i specifically knew as a kid they did remind me of something i could imagine like. my dad listening to (possibly while hanging out with my papaw). or that i could imagine hearing one of my uncles play at a cookout. and i had just gotten back from the fourth of july. and also like funky little monkey shes a twisted trickster is a fun line SRY. me and lamp got this in a discover weekly ages back and it just stuck in my head... catchy song . sry.
8. Bad Girlfriend - Theory of a Deadman
if you listen to this song and the previous song back 2 back you will understand why i was looping them concurrently. very similar vibes. they also make me conjure a woman in my brain and i think that woman is hot. so yeah.. lets move on.
9. I Was Made For Lovin' You Baby - KISS
i kept hearing the chorus to i was made for lovin you baby in my dreams but it was a beautiful haunted woman singing it. and so basically i started lisrening to the somg a lot but pretending it was the beautiful haunted woman. COME TO FIND OUT 1 i have afalsetto now yeahhh yeahhhh lets go testosterone yeahhhh slayage. 2. the beautiful haunted woman i imagined was my own falsetto. HUGE day for connor. me and lamp looped this skng os much bc it became one of our copycat things. where we often just sit together sying the same like 8 sentences or lyrics over and over. and this entire sogn went platinum in connor and lamp world. and . sry. if i squint my eyes a LOT it can be abt my ocs. I DONT THINK ABT THEM THAT MUCH I DONTT I DONT <- liar.
10. Butcher Vanity - Vane Lily, Jamie Paige, ricedeity
i think everybody this side of tumblr is awarenof Butcher Vanity so i dknt need to explain. this and keep up i believe were huge at around the same time... Good Song !!!! it was on the top for like. a month. insane. ty to my mutual who mentioned it in a lyric game lifechanging stuff.
11. Call Me - Blondie
i did make a post abt the mishap but basically me and my mom n lamp and maybe pheebs n maybe anna were driving back from somethingorother recently. idr details. i thot 4th but my dad wasnt there so... but anyways we were talking abt one hit wonders and blondie came up so we xhecked and they actually have a couple including call me but we didnt know if the call me on blondies page was the one that goes CALL ME ! (it is) so i ws like ill put it in the queue and after this song we r listening to it will play the blondie song call me . entirely forgetting i already had stuff in my queue. so we keep being Like om time for the blondie song bc we had been anticipating it and then fucking WOOWA comes on . Not a blondie song if u didnt know. i was mocked viciously by my wicked family members... Anyways and then i listened to this song a lot after that. so yeah. Good song. CALL ME!
12. Only - Nine Inch Nails
im half convinced this will be on my on repeat until the day i die. This song is sooo me 👍 i dont need 2 get into it bc it was here In my last on repeat commentary so you know. Good song though there is no you therenis only me there is no you there is only me there is no fucking you there is only me there is no fucking you there is only me ^_^ only ^_^ only ^_^ only ^_^ . etc. stream
13. WHAT YOU WANT! - asteria
this was huge around the same time as what i want and satisfaction. and also any way u want. lamp made fun of me for listening to so many wantinf songs at the same time.. SORRY! its a good song it xactually came before what i want and satisfaction in connor timeline. probably found it in a lampstie discover weekly. YAY!
14. Breakthrough - Twice
i had a rather brief but very strong kpop moment. specifically twice but also a few other songs. like i have a couple kpop songs i like normally but idk i just got rly crazy into like. 3 twice songs and 1 billlie song. and i listened to them exclusively nonstop for a couple days. dont know what it was abt. great song though like i like it... i think its bc i fell into a trap of watching fancams and those like MOST POPULAR MVS EVERY MONTH FOR EVERY YEAR videos. and i was like writing down notes. mostly twice notes evidently.
15. Does Your Mother Know - ABBA
the lyrics in this song honestly have not aged the best not that theyre Awful idt but yk . itis still a rly catchy song . i also might be overreacting bc i get kind of panicky abt stuff like this JDNDJFN but i do like the song
16. The Hand That Feeds - Nine Inch Nails
this was on my last discover weekly so im taking this time to say its crazy im down to only 2 nin songs on my on repeat. for a while it was 4+ DJDNFJNFJF ever since i did my big (re)listen (my parents have always been into nin and they were my favorite band as a kid (i had a nin baby onesie) but i didnt like. know titles or All the songs and stuff) but now its only 2... i did the other day listen to umm the downward spiral and with teeth on loop a couple of times. but since i listened to judt like. both albums twice that was only 2 listens for each song DJNDJFNF. so sad...
17. Virtual Insanity - Jamiroquai
wasss this on my last one idr. i think i started listening to this one pretty early post me moving back (i probably had heard it b4 idr DNDNJFNF) but its good. YAY! not much 2 say. good song and stuff
18. GingaMingaYo - Billlie
ya i saw the one fancam. you know and then i listened to the full song and then i just Keptt doing that. LOL. very catchy song i like it 👍👍 i also thought the mv was fun
19. BANG BANG - K'NAAN, Adam Levine
catchy. which im realizing is the main thing abt songs isnt it.. this ones platinum ATM its been this and tell me on repeat 4 a while. good song guys. she shot me she shot me bang bang she shot me. YAY
20. Not Like Us - Kendrick Lamar
you dont need me to tell you this but its good DJRNFKNFJF the mv came out and i just kept looping it 👍👍
21. WHERE ARE THEY NOW??? - emily jeffri
ok actuallt terrifying bc i am listening to my on repeat on shuffle rn and ull never guess what song started right when i wrote the number. Umm hey we were just talking abt you all nice things all nice things... ANYWAYS as i mentioned this one was looping w lust 4 a vampyr Different sort of vibes but theyre both kind of creepyesque. IDK theyre good. it also. sigh. worlds heaviest sigh. Yeahhh i fucking think abt the freaks with this one too. UGH
22. Head Over Heels - Tears for Fears
yet another thats probably never going to leave my on repeat... this song had a big moment 4 me a while ago and like. its goid 2 play in the car with the family bc everybody likes it. everybody always likes my music bc im a princess and im beloved but this and everybody wants to rule the world r like basically the safest songs ever LMAO and also its good and so fun to sing bc its like. well iw as gonna say in my vocal range. i think i usually have to sing an octave down JDNDJFN but that makes me super euphoric SO ya.
23. Let It Rock - Kevin Rudolf, Lil Wayne
all music is on here either bc its catchy or bc im nostalgic this song is both. its like CONCENTRATED nostalgia idk why its like. One of those songs where like i listened to it a Ton during some undefined period in my childhood and then Didnt hear for a while so its like opening up an old box and findjng like. a toy you forgot abt. as opposed to other childhood nostlgia somgs that arent the same bc ive Been lidtening to them since like any aqua song LOL. thats more like my super worn out toy ive had since i was In utero. yk...
24. Not Ur Dream Girl - Precious
i have like 3 or 4 precious songs on my playlist i want more i like them ^_^ i need to lidten to more of her.. aside from this i have any way u want (first one i heard) sugar n spice and tell me tell me. YAY. i think not ur dream girl is my fav rn its so good
25. The Rest For The Wiked - Sohodolls
last vestige of my rly strong sohodolls moment. where i listened to Ribbed Music For The Numb Generation on loop. good album idt this is my favorite from it i think it might be my vampire... but its CLOSE i like this one and the others as well. this one was huge at the same way as any way u want which is a kind of funny comtrast but also i get it
26. Supermassive Blackhole - Muse
another probably permaresident... And another rly easy auxcord one. Ive talked abt it so u get it. good song its jumpscared me in 3 different pieces of media when i just wasnt rly prepared for it. even tho u think i would be. bc they were all from aroundish the same time period too... so ig it was just big then... But i didnt find it from any of those 3 media so it scare me everytime.
27. Everybody Wants To Rule The World - Tears for Fears
see basically everything i said abt head over heels LMAO its good 💚💚 i like singing it and stuff
28. Any Way U Want - Precious
ok actually this might still be #1 Precious song it came on shuffle while i was writing the past couple. GOOD SONG 👍👍👍 her voice is so pretty 2 me. yay
29. My Type - Saint Motel
the nostalgia it got me again... it was in a miniplaylist/challenge me and lamp made abt songs where theyre talking abt a woman where theyre like This woman sucks kind of but god i wont her. this one is a very loose fit but i wanted to include the tidbit.
30. Superbeast - Rob Zombie
this is vrazy bc it just msde me realize living dead girl is off of my on repeat. WERE LOSING BRAND RECOGNITION!!!! <- not even part of my brand anywhere (i also dont have a brand im just a crazy girl )i just rly like that song. i like sueprbeast tho. nostalgia won but its also a good song
#obligatory If you r going to make dun of my music dont unless its like. for funnies. JDNDJFNF idk im sensitive abt it#also this is so long Lmao I was gonna add links to everything but u cn fjnd it.... i believe !!!#idr my last reviews so idk if this is more or less coherant#i did realize ive been grouping songs up a lot mroe since that time#bc for a while i modtly would loop 1 song alone until i got tored of it#but ive atarted doing like 2-4 skngs looping#and ive listened to more albums... not Much more lmao but i like Sat down and listened to ALBUMS in order. which is huge for me im not a#huge album listneer i only do it when i rly love a song.. usually i hear 1 song and it ake that and out it on my playlist and i dotn rly#look into the album or the artist#butttt ive been tryinf (for a while) to like dind the artists i rly like and listen to more of their songs so yaaa.#idk. im bad at music genres as well thats why idk hiw varied this is lmao#bc i in my head just group songs into groups with eachother based kn vibe#and usually theyre genre based but sometimes they arent but 2 me ? they r the same .. yk. ANYWAYS YAY lmk yr opinions like if you wantig.#i like talking abt music hence why i did this JDNDJFNF.... also lmk if u decide ro lidten to any of theee songs idk why u like. its not like#i told u abt any of the songs DJRNFNNi wasnt like Ogm this ones a 2000s pop song eith a dance beat or watever. i was just like Umm i ate#chocolate icecream ine time when j listened to this song !!! so idk why ud be like I need to hear connors chocolate icecream song.#but if u do listen and u like it tell meee if u listen and u hate it probably dont tell me DNNRJFNFNF
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abcdosaka · 2 years
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i have not posted on here in a while. idk various things have happened. but heres the most recent stuff.
this is sorta fresh (literally 2 days ago) but im mostly over it i think? i made a hinge account and briefly talked to this girl and i liked talking to her but i think i just dont know how to rizz someone up, or maybe ik and i dont have the courage to do it so i gotta play nice girl from the start. and i think our second phone call i was just kinda lacking in energy and i wasn’t texting her too often either. but at the end of it she was like lets just be friends going forward.
i havent really had any experiences before, like real ones where i was the one initiating everything, so it hurt, kinda like getting rejected for a job interview. i was like ig im just not outgoing or funny or charming enough but damn we talked like twice on the phone, we never even met up, that quick huh.
tbh i think i initiated slightly more and she was less interested and she also made it pretty clear she wasnt sure about getting into a relationship. idk its not worth analyzing. we do have a lot of similar tastes but if she wants to be friends she has to initiate and i might blow her off anyway i dont feel like talking to her anymore lol. or maybe ill respond but just really slowly. ik its giving nice guy/friendzoned. ehhh i might respond she was nice/friendly enough i just need time to get over it fully. i think this is a lets see how im feeling in a week situation. to be fair sometimes good friendships pop up out of bad experiences for me like i thought D was a huge dick when i first met him but we got along well for the time we knew each other
idk i would rather have someone who knows what they want and is certain about it too. but in the first place i dont even want to talk to ppl like its such a hassle texting randoms multiple days in a row. i got a couple other likes and i just ignored them. ive ghosted two ppl bc i just was sick of the texting going nowhere.
tbh i think im just sad bc my ego’s a little bruised. but idk that happens to me easily like applying for a job sucks and it hurts to get rejected and having a job kinda sucks too but its required. relationships, kinda the same but i dont think its required? they never seemed that great or fun or loving to me, prob bc my parents hated each other for 90% of my childhood. even when i see relationships in fiction im like oh cute but idk if i really need that.
im more upset that i dont really have anyone to talk to about this stuff. and im upset s didnt wanna meet over reading week. like besties for 10 years but you couldnt free up a space for me even tho i asked like 3 weeks ago. idk if i can even call us besties. i used to be so insecure abt what kinda friendship we had but now im kinda sick of this. maybe i should ask. i kinda hate feeling needy or sounding clingy though. idk i was pretty friendly in my response
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she didnt even receive it T_T
idk she hasnt responded to any messages frequently for the past month so shes probably really busy but ugh i fucking hate this. i just wish she’d check in for once like “hey sorry ive just been really busy the past month and havent had the energy or time to respond but hopefully ill have some time soon”. cuz the thing is its kinda typical of her to flake/be distant/antisocial. like after we graduated hs she ignored my messages for a month and she promised not to do that again. and when we hung out for the last time before i moved for uni she overslept and i think shes done that two or three times since. its really frustrating when we dont get to see each other than often. so if i ask her its gonna be like this is an isolated incident but its not and im prob not gonna see her again after i graduate uni bc i wanna move across the country. and we almost never call bc everytime i ask she doesnt want to. i think thats just her hating calling but how tf else are we supposed to stay in contact when we live in different cities??? and texting for hours on end is fking annoying? same difference ik a bit hypocritical there but also, calling means u can multitask but texting means u have to focus solely on texting unless you wanna respond every 2 hours or even worse, every 5 minutes, theres no flow unless you pay full attention to texting.
and the thing that sucks even harder. is that we had a mutual friend, j, who was her BESTIE for middle school and almost all of highschool. (i had a crush on this chick btw but never told her and i kinda stopped talking to her in senior year). and j did the same fucking thing like she decided she didnt wanna talk to people she knew before highschool anymore and basically just slowly cut s out of her life. and s was so upset abt it she told me abt it a lot
see the thing is if i do confront her about ALL of this, i  think its gonna go the worst way possible. like we will slowly drift apart and im gonna lose my closest friend who probably doesnt even consider me at least one of her closest friends. and then im fucked. i mean im not fucked but im starting from ground zero.its really hard not having someone you know you can rely on. altho maybe shes not the most reliable and ive been coping by pretending im independent and dont need anyone for emotional shit. maybe im just catastrophizing. like on one hand, i truly am unsure enough abt our friendship that idk if she’d make an effort after i move real far. but on the other hand i am a known pessimist and i suck at this people bullshit. so idk if i should ask or not.
ugh i shouldnt have wrote this. i was like “if i go in depth on this post i wont be able to stop and then im gonna cry and i dont wanna cry. i should try to keep it light.” like lol. at least it was good practice for typeracer. im gonna do one race and go to sleep. this is frustrating
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cloudystevie · 4 years
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Oh how abt a Disney date w/ Chris or Steve?
we in a christopher robert evans mood tonight folks
also im sorry i dont know much about the disney realm because i never grew up watching it and ive never been to either of the amusement parks so i’ll gather my knowledge from all the youtube videos i used to religiously watch about them ajjsjs
thank u so much for the request bubs!!
it was no surprise to the world that chris evans was a disney fanatic.
he had been to the parks at least 300 times and watched each movie 50 times over and memorized the soundtrack
you liked disney, but you weren’t obsessed with it like he was. you didn’t get what was so special about it.
you had been dating chris for a year now and somehow he hadn’t taken you on a date to disney
no matter how busy your man was, he always made time for a weekly date night, whether it would happen over facetime or in real life, there was not a chance in the world he would miss it
your boyfriend had been home for the past couple of weeks, he didn’t have any major projects going on so he really enjoyed spending time with you at home
one day you’re lounging on the couch in the massive living room reading a book, when your boyfriend comes up to you and presses kisses all up your bare legs until he reaches your neck
you giggle at the feeling of his beard tickling your soft skin and put your book down to pay attention to him
he leaned over you and had a huge smile on his face “hi”
you beamed at him, scrunching your nose at how cute he was, “hi baby”
he flipped you two over until you were straddling his lap
“i was thinking...”
and that’s how you ended up at disney land with chris
you would never admit it to him but you were actually very excited
as a child you had always dreamed of going but you never could so now that it was happening, 8 year old you was jumping up and down
chris was obviously super excited, but watching your reactions to everything for the first time just made his heart burst
he was so happy to be the first one to share this very sacred experience with you
he took you on all the rides
and after every single one
without a doubt
he would be practically jumping asking you if you had fun or not
somehow all throughout the day no fans stopped and asked for pictures
not that chris minded at all, he just really wanted to make this special for you
you two did all the couple-y shit everyone did that you always fake puked over when you saw it on instagram
he stood behind you with his muscular arms wrapped around your waist as you two waited in line for his favourite ride since he was a kid
you rested your head against his massive chest and finally took a moment to breathe
it had been a super busy day and it was starting to near sun set time
you weren’t really the type to get emotional over silly little things like this but chris knew that you weren’t all that privileged growing up and you rarely got to have these kinds of experiences
you couldn’t help the tears that pricked your eyes and the single one that managed to slip out
chris being the ever so attentive boyfriend that he is, immediately turned you around his arms cupping your face in his hands
“what’s wrong princess?” his voice was laced with concern
you looked at him and gave him a huge smile, “nothing i promise, i’m just super happy to be here.”
chris couldn’t help but kiss you and you both smiled, lips still connected
“thank you” you mumbled against his lips
he didn’t say anything except for give you another sweet kiss as you two moved forward in line
it was a couple hours later and the fireworks were about to go off
the pretty colours lighting up the sky had always excited you as a little girl
and this time was no different
you watched mesmerized as the sky was filled with vibrant colours
your arms around chris’ waist, leaning your head on his shoulder as he trailed his hand up and down your back soothingly
he tried to watch the fireworks, but you were simply a much better view
he loved seeing you so carefree and happy
he felt all warm and bubbly inside as the last firework (and the brightest) was about to go off
he held your jaw and kissed you. whispering i love you against your lips
you couldn’t have been more content in your life
until chris whispers against your lips
“the night is still young princess, i’m gonna take you back to the hotel and make sure you really never forget this day.”
you warmed up at his words as he led you two to the car. preparing for a long night
okie hi bubs! i hope this one isn’t too long? i cant add a read more thing so i dont wanna clog up peoples feeds. lemme know what you guys think !!!
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elpublico · 3 years
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HI ADRIAN 👯👯👯💞 i just fed my kitty 🐈 and watched one of my new favorite episodes 📺 of riverdale it was a cinematic 🎥 masterpiece 😚💖 earlier i had a smoothie 🥤 and fries 🍟 and i found MY NEW FAVORITE in my list of potential apartments. anyway funnie emojis an stuff aside i contacted a bunch of ppl with apartment questions and feel so full of smoothie and determination and love and laughter. i love my boygirlfriend a lot and im excited for when i move closer to him bc i feel like im not too skilled at displaying that through my phone next week my friend and i are going to take a drive in the middle of the night like we used to and i reached my savings goal for top surgery so now my upcoming paychecks go to my apartment and furniture and im. well its all like. i guess im gushing abt my life 💫 because for the first time i feel like even if somet hings dont turn out EXACTLY how im planning or imagining its going to be okay..........i am a sprout and all that. i am a sprout and you are a little blackberry bush and the person a street away is a lemon tree and a strawberry vine and a carrot and rosemary and a spiderplant and a biiig oak that isnt a big oak yet and love is the dirt and love is what grounds us and what we become and i love you and im glad we are sprouting at the same time :-) speaking of oak trees people came by to grind up the stump of our oak tree and i miss my friend so dearly. i have a couple big pieces of the bark with me that i dont quite know what to do with but im glad i have them 💗
give your cat a scratch for me <3
i am SO excited for you!!! omg that all sounds soo sososo wonderful i am so glad to hear that!!
i have a little succulent that suffered under my care the past few months — i always forget to water and my dorm didnt get much sunlight. but anyway since ive been home ive tried to water it and its sitting right in the sun most of the day and its becoming greener and livelier and i think perhaps sprouting is in the air thank you for reminding me <3
i am sorry to hear about your tree friend but i am glad you’ll always have a piece of him 🌳
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Isabella [Namjoon x Reader]
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Requests opened // m.list 
Genre: Cute // Fluff 
Summary:  Hi im new to your page, ive read everything in the past few days[stalker much], and i normally never request anything but i really enjoyed your writing so i was wondering if you could do a BTS reaction or head canon: The reader is Latina/American and has a baby daughter and shes hesitant abt dating but she sees how sweet they are with her (sorry if its to specific, i have a 6 month old babygirl and i rarely see stuff abt teen moms or single moms
A/N: Aww sweetie, thank you so much. It means the world to me that you like my writing. That’s so adorable that you’re a mom, I love that this fandom is so diverse. I’ll be happy to give you a little headcanon :)  
“How’s Bella doing?” a soft voice asked from the bedroom door. You didn’t even glance back at him because you knew Namjoon’s eyes were on you. He came over when you texted him about Isabella having a small fever. She was your first child, and you really didn’t know what to do. Of course, you had your family around, but sadly most of them were on vacation. The only person you could have called happened to be your best friend, Namjoon. Thankfully, he had today off, so he came over as soon as possible. 
You held Isabella in your arms, her small fingers curled around your shirt as her tummy pressed against your breast. Her ear was right above your beating heart. The soft pounds of it sending her into overdrive as she fell asleep rather quickly. Her body still felt warm to the touch, but not as bad as before. When you finally turned around, Namjoon noticed that Isabella was fast asleep. In this observation, he put his hands up as to silently apologize and take a step backward. 
After a few moments of small squirming, you set Isabella on her back. She lied down in her little bassinet, fists still clenched from before. You grazed some of her beautiful locks out of her eyes and pulled the baby monitor close. Then, you carefully removed yourself from the bedroom, keeping the door open. Pushing some strands of hair aside, you finally were able to answer Namjoon’s question from before. 
“I called her doctor, and she told me to give her some medicine.” You mentioned placing the monitor beside you on the couch, your eyes moving back and forth from it as you sat next to Namjoon. 
Today, he wore something rather simple. Considering that his fashion tastes were all over the place, you were a little shocked to see him in his outfit. He had a rather sizeable pink jumper on with black jeans. His large hands were hiding in the sleeves as it seemed like he was cold. Today, his hair wasn’t gelled back or even styled like it usually would be. Instead, his long bangs fell over his eyebrows, and his hair was bleached blond. 
“I’m assuming you’re getting ready to go back to America?” You questioned, leaning back against the armrest of the couch. You didn’t want to spend too much time talking about Isabella, considering that he probably didn’t want to hear you gush about her. If only you knew that Namjoon loved it whenever you poured about Bella. He loved it, especially when you brought her to the studio for everyone to coo over. 
Namjoon pushed past the question, leaning in and grabbing the monitor. His eyes watched as Isabella moved slightly to the right. A faint smile spread across his lips, and you were tempted to reach out and touch them. Little did Namjoon know you had a crush on him, one that was kind of obvious to those looking inward. But you really weren’t interested in a relationship right now. The reason being was you had Isabella to think of. 
After her father ditched, you were left to raise her on your own. Your family moved out to Seoul a little over five years ago, and you had become friends with Namjoon through the process. You watched his group grow, and you supported him throughout his journey. However, he was more of a father to Isabella than her birth father ever could be. 
“I don’t want to leave for America if Bella isn’t alright,” Namjoon mentions moving his head back up to glance at you. With his beautiful big eyes, he stares back. A look of concern filling him as he watches you shift uncomfortably under his gaze. You bit the bottom of your lip, turning your head just a little to the side. Then proceeding to reach out and snatch the monitor from him. 
Just so that you could look into it without looking at him. “My doctor said that if I keep giving her the medicine that I picked up,” you proceed. “That she would be fine within a couple of days.” you finish watching as Isabella moves just a tiny bit from where she was lying. You flash a small smile, watching her chest rise and fall as she was sleeping away her fever. 
You heard Namjoon sighing just a little. If it was a sigh of relief, you didn’t particularly know. Instead, you focused on your baby girl before glancing back up at him. This time, you felt his body shift as he moved inwards. Glancing at you still as his head tilted just a little. He proceeds to flash you a smile, his dimples now showing as you could feel a small surge of blood cover your cheeks. 
“That’s amazing,” he mentions reaching out to graze his fingers across your skin. You shiver slightly, unaware by how much his touch effects you. You couldn’t deny that Namjoon was amazing with Isabella. He was always there when you needed him, still picking up clothes, and even changing diapers for you. He would often come over whenever he had time, take her off your hands for a couple of hours, and make sure you were doing alright. 
You loved how sweet he was with her, but once again, you were hesitant with dating him. You knew that it could have been a great idea too, but with how busy BTS was, it meant that Namjoon would also be. You needed someone who was going to be present in Isabella’s life. Not someone who would show up when he got the time off, or when he just so happened to be in the area. Sighing, you shift yourself off the couch, taking the monitor in your hand as you proceed to move into the kitchen. 
Namjoon didn’t know exactly what to say, as he wanted to lean in and give you a kiss. He felt differently about you and wanted to be there for Isabella. He wanted to be her father, despite not being related to her in any way. He cared about you both and wanted to see you two thrive. Especially Isabella as she had already stolen his heart. He watches your body move into the kitchen, noting how you started to prepare yourself a small snack as well as grabbing some medicine and other things for her. 
“When do you leave again?” You question unscrewing the top of her bottle and putting the medicine in. You place the container and its content back in the fridge, your body not turning as Namjoon answers. 
“Sunday,” he mentions shifting himself back on the couch. You nod again, bringing your hand back up to your neck. Rubbing it gently as you were debating the possibility to meet him before he left. Sighing, you tilted your head downwards, your hands grasping the edge of the counter. 
You loved Namjoon, but you didn’t know if you were ready to take the next steps with him. 
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queer-starling · 5 years
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Flower ask: also all of them. you get to suffer with me >:3€
oh darlin’ we’re in it now huh
Alisons: Sexuality?
homogay
Amaranth: Pronouns/Gender?
she/they | all gender will be shot on sight
Amaryllis: Birthday?
sept 23rd
Anemone: Favorite flower?
monkshood
Angelonia: Favorite t.v. show?
stranger things or ghost adventures
Arum-Lily: What’s the farthest you’d go for a stranger?
like? distance? a couple miles probably
Aster: What’s one of your favorite quotes?
“We are such stuff as dreams are made on, and our little lifeIs rounded with a sleep.” William Shakespeare, The Tempest
Aubrieta: Favorite drink?
wild cherry capri sun
Baby’s Breath: Would you kiss the last person you kissed again?
ima change that to ‘kiss the last person u thought abt kissing’ bc YES
Balsam Fir: Have you ever been in love?
*jenna marbles voice* hell yeah!!
Baneberries: Favorite song?
waiting for the end - linkin park 
Basket of Gold: Describe your family.
chaos
Beebalm: Do you have a best friend? Who is it?
i have too many to list !!! brandi, kasey, you, liz, ivy, nick , just to name a few!!
Begonia: Favorite color?
blue uwu
Bellflower: Favorite animal?
foxes !! and opossums
Bergenia: Are you a morning or night person?
night time babey
Black-Eyed Susan: If you could be any animal for a day, what would it be?
either a fox or an opossum or a raven, i think
Bloodroots: When you were a kid, what did you want to be when you grew up?
i wanted to be a vet !!!
Bluemink: What are your thoughts on children?
theyre ok as long as theyre not screaming and/or mine
Blazing Stars: What are you afraid of? Is there a reason why?
i don’t liike vomit bc. nastey (trauma i think) and i don’t like old ppl well. i dunno why? they’re just so old and fragile and helpless and sometimes they’re really mean and idk i think it’s like something to do w death or something LMAO idk. also i just hate the idea of becoming old and having to rely on other people ?? hhh
Borage: Give a random fact about your childhood.
i was bullied a lot
Bugleherb: How would you spend your last day on Earth?  
realistically? probably playing dead by daylight with my girlfriend ADFSGRHYUTR
Buttercup: Relationship Status?
happily taken 
Camelia: If you could visit anywhere, where would you want to go?
ireland, scotland, alaska, greece
Candytufts: When do you feel most loved?
whenever my friends or family tells me they love me but esp when u text me goodmorning or when we say our goodnights sorry im gay haha
Canna: Do you have any tattoos?  
i have. uuuuhh 6
Canterbury Bells: Do you have any piercings?  
no!!! i want some tho :(
California Poppy: Height?  
i think im like. 5′5 or something? give or take an inch ?
Cardinal Flower: Do you believe in ghosts?
oh absolutely. my house is haunted as we speak
Carnation: What are you currently wearing?  
bmth hoodie and pajama pants w foxes all over them. i just woke up lol
Catnip: Have you ever slept with a nightlight?
yeah i always keep one on in the bathroom
Chives: Who was the last person you hugged?  
my sister bc she came home from college yesterday
Chrysanthemum: Who’s the last person you kissed?
ask me in like. a little over a month from now ;)
Cock’s Comb: Favorite font?
FONT??? the animal crossing font
Columbine: Are you tired?
oh absolutely
Common Boneset: What are you looking forward to?
thanksgiving, christmas, seeing my gf, magfest
Coneflower: Dream job?
idk if it’s a job but i just wanna own like. a ranch that takes in all sorts of animals and takes care of them
Crane’s-Bill: Introvert or extrovert?
introvert 
Crocus: Have you ever been in love?
ooooh yeah
Crown Imperial: What’s the farthest you would go for someone you care about?
i mean. depends on what they want/need. distance wise? i’d travel the known universe for u  
Cyclamen: Did you have a favorite stuffed animal as a child? What was it?
he was a plaid teddy bear his name was Stanley!!!! i miss him :( but now i have Little Moon God as my favourite stuffed animal 
Daffodil: What’s your zodiac sign?
Libro
Dahlia: Have you done anything worth remembering?
Working in Yellowstone is something I’ll never forget
Daisy: What do you feel is your greatest accomplishment?
well. hmm. i was gonna say flying to yellowstone but maybe driving to north carolina by myself bc driving long distances alone to places i haven’t been before gives me hella anxiety (i’m better now)
Daylily: What would you do if your parents didn’t like your partner(s)? 
i don’t pay rent in this house to listen to their opinions lmao. 
Dendrobium: Who is the last person that you said “I love you” to?
you, i think, when we said goodnight last night!!! EDIT: you this morning!!
False Goat’s Beard: What is something you are good at?
being bad at dead by daylight
Foxgloves: What’s something you’re bad at?
dead by daylight
Freesia: What are three good things that have happened in the past month?
(little over a month now but uhhh) GOT A UH ......GIRL.....FRIEND ...... GOT TO VISIT GIRLFRIEND ........ and got the windshield finally replaced in my car 
Garden Cosmos: How was your day today?
i dont know! so far ive laid in bed now im at my computer answering this. not too bad. my shift is only 4 hours today. 
Gardenia: Are you happy with where you’re at in your life?
for the most part, i’m pretty content, yeah
Gladiolus: What is something you hope to do in the next year or two?
MOVE OUT 
Glory-of-the-Snow: What are ten things that make you happy/you’re grateful to have in your life?
my friends, my mom, my sisters, my girlfriend, my bastard dog
Heliotropium: What helps you calm down when you feel stressed?
metal   
Hellebore: How do you show affection?
what does this mean. physically, i’m very affectionate, i just. don’t show it alot bc anxiety/i overthink. that and i constantly tell ppl i love them and what they mean to me 
Hoary Stock: What are you proudest of?
whoever is reading this
Hollyhock: Describe your ideal day.
wake up next 2 a cute girl. take way too long to get up. go climb mountain w cute girl. vibe on mountain w cute girl. go to waffle house 2gether. gome home and vibe. play video games or watch a movies/tv w cute girl.  
Hyacinth: What do you like to do in your free time?  
i like to make art or play bideo jame
Hydrangea: How long have you known your best friend? How did you meet them?
oh gosh i dunno. the ones i’ve known the longest are kasey and brandi, and i’ve known them both around/over a decade i think. we met in middle/highschool!
Irises: Who can you talk to about (almost) everything?
you, ivy, liz
Laceleaf: How many friends do you have?
so many 
Lantanas: What’s the best compliment you’ve ever received?
idk man but i remember when you said u had a crush on me and then i posted a selfie and u were like ‘OH NO SHE’S CUTE” and like ??? idk i think that was definitely the first compliment to ever shock me LMAO 
Larkspur: What do you think of yourself?
6.9/10
Lavender: What’s your favorite thing about yourself?
my tattoos
Leather Flower: What’s your least favorite thing about yourself? 
 https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=kGGViLwHEUk
Lilac: What’s something you liked to do as a child?
i liked to play zombies ate my neighbors on the sega genesis !!!!
Lily: Who was your best friend when you were a kid?
eliza !!!! we lost touch a few years after i moved away :(
Lily of the Incas: What is something you still feel guilty for?
ima be real everything makes me feel guilty
Lily of the Nile: What is something you feel guilty for that you shouldn’t feel guilty about?  
aaaaaa the whole abi/moon incident 
Lupine: What does your name mean? Why is that your name?
my name is fox. it means i like foxes
Marigold: Where did you grow up? Tell us about it.
northern virginia babey !!!! that place fucking sucks!!! but everyone who lives up there thinks they’re hot shit. 
Morning Glory: What was your bedroom like growing up?
i had a bunkbed and i think the walls were pink 
Mugworts: What was it like for you as a teenager? Did you enjoy your teenage years?  
😬 i’m just gonna say i’m much happier now and i’m coping with life and shit a lot better  
Norwegian Angelica: Tell us about your mom.
she’s sweet and funny and i love her so much!! she always does the Most for everyone, sometimes to the point where she isn’t concerned abt herself and i see where i get it from. but yeah my mom is great, my dad doesn’t deserve her 
Onions: Tell about your dad.  
source of a lot of trauma and why i have so many issues regarding men. i don’t wanna talk about him anymore LOL he doesn’t deserve the attention
Orchid: Tell about your grandparents.
my dad’s mom is becoming senile and i think she’s racist and queerphobic. my mom’s parents disowned her a few years ago so we don’t talk to them anymore 
Pansy: What was your most memorable birthday? What made it be so memorable?
i dunno. i don’t try to remember my birthdays. whenever i can go to busch gardens for my birthday i usually have a lot of fun there. 
Peony: What was your first job?
if you don’t wanna count working w my mom as a florist, target was my first job back in 2016. i found my name tag the other day , actually
Petunia: If you’re in a relationship, how did you meet your partner(s)? If you’re not in a relationship, how did you meet your crush/how do you hope to meet your future partner(s), if you want any?
WELL, i know you followed me on here first. and then twitter?? but we didn’t really start talking until stranger things 3 came out (thank u stranger things) PHYSICALLY, we didn’t meet until fursonacon (haha. i remember when u texted me that u got to the hotel and i came down to help n i saw u unloading yr car and it was then that my brain was like OH NOOOOOOOO and my heart was like OH YEEEEAAAAAAAH) 
Pincushion: How do you deal with pain?
physical, mental, or emotional? i play a video game or listen to loud music
Pink: Where is home?[
somewhere in appalachia i can feel it in my stupid soul 
Plantain Lilies: If you could go back in time, what is one thing you would stop/change? 
idk man i’m pretty content w where i’m at now so 
Prairie Gentian: Who is someone you look up to? Describe them.
chester bennington 
Primrose: Describe your ideal life.
i have a waife and we have many great pets and we live in a log cabin in the mountains or in a nice victorian in a small town or something IDK but we’re happy and that’s all that matters 
Rhodendron: What is something you used to believe in as a child?
God
Ricinus: Who’s the most important in your life?
my mom, me best friends, my girlfriend
Rose: What’s your favorite sound?
my girlfriend’s laugh because it’s THE cutest shit and then when she giggles??? oh my heart 
Rosemallows: What’s your favorite memory?
oct 23rd, 2005, we brought Fat Boy Zack home !!!!
Sage: What’s your least favorite memory?
July 22nd, 2016. i was 2200 miles away
Snapdragon: At this moment, what do you want?  
to be holding my girlfriend >:(
St. John’s Wort: Is it easy or difficult for you to express how you feel about things?
hhhhhhhhhheeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeee
Sunflower: What is something you don’t want to imagine life without?
those i hold dear
Sweet Pea: How much sleep did you get last night?
enough, i guess? 
Tickseed: What’s your main reason to get up every morning?
my girlfriend
Touch-Me-Not: How do you feel about your current job?
it’s fucking BORING and TOO EASY and they don’t pay me ENOUGH but i can get away with so much shit there so ima still go, ima still go 
Transvaal Daisy: What’s your favorite item of clothing?
all of the flannels currently in my possession
Tropical White Morning Glory: Describe your aesthetic.  
mountains, woods, forests, cabins, autumn, cryptic, occult, victorian, edwardian
Tulip: What would be the best present to get you?
if someone gets me a gift i’m legally required to execute them
Vervain: What’s stressing you out most right now?
this 40hr workweek i got coming up 
Wisteria: How many books have you read in the past few months? What were they called?
i have not read in So Long
Wolf’s Bane: Where do you want to be in life this time next year?
Moved out away from here lol, we’ll see
Yarrow: Do you know what vore is?
:/
Zinnia: Give a random fact about yourself.
i’m a furry
that was SO LONG im sorry i also put you through that but THANK YOU ENJOY READING ILU
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whatbutandreil · 5 years
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i had an ask sitting in my inbox for a couple of months bc i didn't really know what i wanted to say, but i lost the ask:/
unfortunately, when i tried to save my response to my drafts, tumblr just,, fuckin deleted it, so im sorry to whoever asked it:/ but i have my response now. the ask said "what(or who) got you into tfc?" to the person who asked this question, thank you. this has been a really great reflection. so uh,, here's my answer:
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i kinda hate the way i came into tfc bc it was in a way that didn't respect the wishes of my, now friend on twitter, ziegenkind.
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basically, i was scrolling on pinterest, as you do, and i fell into a hole of like,, gay fanart? (not a question, just a little self-reflection on how fucking queer i am. how did i not fucking know?)
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anyway, so, i was scrolling, as you do, and i found @ziegenkind 's stunning painting of andrew and neil on the bottom bunk of the dorm bed (y'all know the one) and i was like "whooooo,, the fUCk are these two cuties (ʘ‿ʘ)??"
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PSA : DONT REPOST PEOPLE'S ART WITHOUT THEIR PERMISSION, ESPECIALLY IF SOMEONE EXPLICITLY SAYS NOT TO. THIS COUNTS AS REPOSTING IF YOU POST SOMEONE ELSE'S ART TO PINTEREST, INSTAGRAM, TUMBLR, TWITTER, FACEBOOK, ANY SOCIAL MEDIA. DO NOT QRT PEOPLE'S ART ON TWITTER IF PEOPLE SAY NO. YOU ARE NO EXCEPTION. AND DONT FUCKING ERASE PEOPLE'S WATERMARKS AND DEFINITELY DONT REPLACE THEM WITH YOUR OWN. DONT FUCKING DO IT. to the lovely ziegenkind, (it's julian from twitter (^o^)丿) it's so fuckin unfortunate that i found your art through reposts and it's fucking horrible that people don't listen, but thank you for being my bridge into this fandom and im very grateful to have found you and been able to talk with such an angel. you quite literally changed my life forever and i can't thank you enough:') im eternally grateful for that. BUT DONT FUCKING REPOST DIPSHITS
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anyway, so, naturally, i sat in my bed for 3 hours at 1am on a school night, as you do, scrolling through andreil fan art and trying to figure out who the fUCK they were and what they were from. i found tfc and immediately downloaded it on my phone
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i didn't get to reading it for a bit tho:/ abt a week later, i was brought to the emergency room bc i was planning to kill myself. id been diagnosed with depression for around a year, who knows how long i was suffering before that, and i was hitting my lowest. it was abt 2 weeks after new years and on new years eve, i was planning on ending it bc i couldn't fathom dealing with it for another year. another year of feeling nothing or everything all at once. but my mom had called me downstairs to go to a new years party, so i didn't go through with it. abt 2 weeks later, i had seen my therapist again, and i was deflecting hard core, and she saw it, and she sent me to the ER. i was evaluated all night, but i wasn't kept for observation since i told the nurse that the thoughts had passed. i was taken out of school and put in an outpatient program where id have group for 4 hours and school for 2. every morning for abt a month, i would get picked up at my house in a minivan and id have a good 20-25+ min drive to program.
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every. single. morning. on the van, i would read tfc. every morning. i was going through, what i thought to be the worst time of my life (i now know that it in fact DID get worse and now we're going on a new level of bad, but then it was the worst id experienced) every morning i was reading about neil and him running from his father, something ive wanted to do for years. reading about andrew struggling with depression and self harm like i am and despising most touches bc of people in his life that ruined it, similar to how someone ruined it for me and doesn't understand that "no" means "no". reading about nicky learning to love and accept himself for being gay, for being who he is like ive been trying to accept myself being a queer ace trans boy. reading about kevin trying to cope with his anxiety, even if it's in an unhealthy way, the same way i do. reading about renee growing up one way and wanting to become a better person, something that i want to do every day. reading abt matt overcoming his addiction and loving his friends with his whole heart. reading about dan standing up for herself and being proud of who she is. reading abt allison cutting away the people in her life who wanted to hold her back. reading about aaron and andrew work through their differences to try and salvage their relationship. reading about neil taking his life back and living it the way he wants, on his terms, like i so badly crave to do. reading about neil and andrew finding a respectful and loving relationship, one where all boundaries are respected, not crossed, where there is comfort in being together and a certain understanding on a level that others could never wrap their mind around. the kind of relationship that i have always, always, yearned for, where i feel safe and loved and respected.
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these books taught me not only to die for the ones i love or kill for them, but to live for them, and to me, that is a much more daunting and difficult task.
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All For the Game gave me hope, something i never thought id have again. it gave me hope for tomorrow. and the day after that. and a month after that. and it gives me hope that one day, i will get away from my father, i will be comfortable with who i am and love myself for it, i will find ways to cope with my anxiety properly, i will be proud of the person i have become, i will have friends who i love and who love me, i will stand up for myself and be proud to be the person ive become, i will surround myself with good people and cut away those who treat me wrong and hold me back, i will work to repair and maintain good relationships.
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it gives me hope that i will finally break away from the pain and start to live my life the way i want, as the person i was meant to be, the way i was meant to live my life.
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it gives me hope that i will overcome my depression, that i will find the strength to stop harming myself to cope, that i will find the strength to push through, even after ive been given every reason to just give up.
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it gives me hope that one day, i will find a person who will love me for who i am, love me despite my past and the scars i carry, love me in a way that i'll never be able to explain or understand. that i will find someone who respects my boundaries, who asks "yes or no?" before touching me, who respects if i say "no" and still fucking loves me regardless. someone who can feel like they can be completely themself around me, and that i can feel the same around them. someone who will fall in love with me a little more every day. someone who i'll fall in love with a little more every day.
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it gives me hope that one day, hopefully someday soon—but i think im willing to wait—i will be happy.
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All For the Game quite literally changed to course of my life, and i can say with confidence that without it, i would not be here right now.
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people say that books and shows and movies change there life all the time, but i know that i wouldn't be here without it. these books saved my fucking life. i wouldn't have experienced those mornings, walking into program with a goofy smile on my face, practically vibrating with what i now know was joy, blabbing to every person i ran into that morning abt a boy with scars and a sharp tongue on the run and the small, depressed and angry blond who told him to stay. or nights when i sobbed and sobbed for those boys who deserved better. and i wouldn't have gotten black armbands to cover my scars and match with my two biggest inspirations. or when i have a bad impulsive thought, i wouldnt have a voice in the back of my head going "what would andrew say? what would neil say?" and the vivid image of the small blond giving me a stare, face carefully blank, yet eyes swimming with a mix between disapproval and hope, and the boy covered in scars tentatively giving me a hug, a bit awkward at first, but he's a lovely hugger and eventually, awkwardness turns into comfort. without it, i don't think id know what pure, honest love is supposed to look like.
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sorry, i suppose this got quite a bit off track from what got me into aftg, but once i started writing, i couldn't stop.
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TLDR; i saw fanart on pinterest, DONT REPOST ART WITHOUT PERMISSION, and my life was saved and changed for the better by a book that i stumbled upon, purely by chance.
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i don't believe in fate, but i do think that i found these books for a reason, and that my life changed because of it. i suppose you could call it the butterfly effect.
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anyway now that ive been in the fandom for a bit i think its time i called myself out and say that i. Love shiniida
hear me out. neutral good, disaster bi iida with true neutral, functional gay shinsou? we stan.
like just consider for a second. shinsou goes to talk with midoriya to get some closure abt their fight in the sports festival and obv talking to midoriya means having to be near his two besties iida and uraraka
anyway midoriya draws shinsou in like the sun he is and so he ends up kinda friends with iida and uraraka as well. along the line they become full-fledged friends esp when he starts doing extra training w them in addition to the training hes gettin from aizawa so he can “”keep up with you hero course nerds”” (in his own words)
anyway so he starts hangin out with the izucrew more and consequently. iida.
iida is the mom/dad friend (depends on his mood that day which one he is) so he usually organizes some hangouts that r also study groups. and now that shinsou is his friend, iida invites him as well
im thinkin eventually iida and shinsou figure out that iida has a strong suit in math but is weak in language, but shinsou is vice versa, so they decide to arrange extra study sessions so they can get the extra tutoring they feel they need
and finally,,,,the pining™ begins
im honestly not quite sure How they fall for each other or how long it would take buuuuuuut……,.,.
iida would definitely admire shinsou’s drive and determination and i feel he’d be rlly charmed by him once he got passed shinsou’s distant, kinda hostile first impression. like once he got passed shinsou’s kinda defenses and saw the tired, funky dude he is that loves cats and sweaters, iida’s poor bi heart wouldnt stand a chance, not even a second. iida would definitely think shinsou’s love for cats/all things cute is adorable. also i think iida would be exasperated w shinsou’s hair but like in the Fondest Way possible. at first he’s like “shinsou u gotta try to brush ur hair!” and shinsou is like “u can try it wont do anything” and hes right it Doesnt. but eventually the messy style grows on iida and he finds he wants to run his hands thro it,,,also iida at first kinda doesnt get shinsou’s sense of humor but he eventually learns to love it
shinsou on the other hand would be softly disgruntled abt how iida cares for him with what i call the Aggressive Affection. cause iida is just like “shinsou! its past 12 am! i would advise you get some rest now” and he wont stop badgering him until shinsou at least turns off his phone and like “shinsou! i made u breakfast bc u slept in late! u can eat it while we walk to class together!” and hands him some cute lil breakfast thing that keeps shinsou’s hands warm while they walk in the morning air. and at first shinsou is like “bruh” but eventually knowing that iida cares so much makes him feel all warm inside,,,,,, and shinsou Would 100 percent find iida’s chopping motions and general gestures he makes when he talks Adorable As Fuck. and he thinks its sweet that iida cares so much abt helpin him academically as well as heroically
anyway i think shinsou would realize his feelings first bc iida is,,,a disaster,,,and he would freak the fuck out becuz oh shit thats quite the distraction from becoming a hero student
iida notices when shinsou starts to avoid him and he gets really sad :[ and it rlly starts to bother him so he tries asking shinsou what he did wrong but shinsou is always in a flustered panic and its like “OHHH LOOK AT THE TIME GOT,,,GENERAL DEPARTMENT THINGS TO DO,,,,GOTTA GO BYE IIDA” so when asking shinsou doesnt work iida tries to ask his friends if they can think of anything but theyre just as confused as he is bc they didnt even realize shinsou was distancing himself. this just makes iida feel even worse bc that means its Just Him that shinsou’s avoiding so its Clear that he did do smth wrong
eventually he calls tensei abt it and tensei kinda calms him down abt it thank you tensei
meanwhile aizawa is like “what,,,is wrong with my child” bc hes not dumb hes observant as hell and he knows shinsou’s been acting kinda skittish lately esp during training so eventually after training one day aizawa sits him down and is like “im not letting u leave until u tell me why ur so freaked out lately” shinsou tries to fight to escape but aizawa is a Pro Hero and shinsou has only been training for a couple months now so he doesnt make it lmfao rip eventually shinsou gets out that he has a crush (how embarrassing poor guy probably wanted to spontaneously combust when he admitted it) and that he doesnt know what to do with it and aizawa is just like “wow mood”
no but really aizawa calls up mic and is like “hi yes hello ur the distinguished gay in this relationship can u give our dumb son some advice”
so mic swoops in and probably embarrasses shinsou a lil bit but overall shinsou accepts his feelings a little more after the talk so thats Something thanks mic
anyway so this pining goes on for a while longer with iida feeling :[ and shinsou feeling bad but like not knowing what to do dkjfjkf. like after the talk w mic it isnt nearly as bad as it was but shinsou’s still awkward and iida can still tell smth abt their relationship has gotten a little stilted :[ but then the joint training exercise happens and its reveled that shinsou is GOING INTO THE HERO COURSE BABEY!!!!!!!
iida is So Excited that he lifts our boy up and spins him around!!! and shinsou is so FUCKING gay he doesnt know how to function once hes put back on the ground smfh so much for being a functional gay huh shinsou
anyway iida starts apologizing profusely like “im so sorry shinsou my excitement just got the better of me and i hope i didnt make you uncomfortable but im so happy for you-!” and shinsou’s like “im in love with you” iida probably passes out lbr
no but both FREAK OUT over that confession and like its so fucking funny bc it was in front of EVERYONE and aizawa just fucking facepalms bc god why does his dumb kid have to take after him so much smh
anyway EVENTUALLY iida and shinsou calm down and before shinsou can Sprint the Fuck Away, iida is like “i!!!!! love you too!!! not as just a friend!!!” and shinsou hides his face in his mask/capture weapon and iida is just kinda bashfully holding his helmet close to his chest and HHH I LOVE MY BOYS………….
anyway they talk and shinsou is like “yeah so im sorry for being weird this past month and a half its because feelings” and iida is like “OHHHH i thought i did something wrong omg” and so they clear that up w each other and start dating. and they are. Adorable. THE couples’ goals in the izucrew. u wish u were as cute as them
iida reading on the couch w shinsou layin down on him?? iida reading TO him while he’s layin down on him in an attempt to help lull him to sleep??? oh my fucking god. thats so good. shinsou brings snacks to their study dates (and theyre actually iida’s idea of regularly scheduled dates someone help shinsou djkfjk) to make sure that they both actually get some food in them. TRAINING TOGETHER,…,..both get v flustered at first but then they get used to it,,im soft
just….my boys….thank you for your consideration. uhh stan shiniida
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dreammutual-remade · 6 years
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high school!donghyuck
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request: idk if you’re taking reqs but i really like ur highscool aus so if u want to write one abt hyuck ill be :^))))))) - anonymous
word count: 5.1k
a/n: oof its been awhile unnies!!!! ive had exams for the past two weeks and I still have exams now so im sorry for not posting anything but reblogs with headassery in the tags!!! we are continuing the high school series n renjun is next!! since I got like 3 requests for him !!!!! hhehhehehheheh its gonna b cute <3 anyways hope u enjoy this I love my lil duckie baby
masterlist
mark, renjun, jeno, donghyuck, jaemin, chenle, jisung
big oof i’m gonna cry while writing this
i’m running out of creative ways to say let’s dive in
let us take the plunge
okay!!!!!!!!!! so you’ve been an editor/writer for the school paper for pretty much all of your high school career
you’re not super well known though because you don’t try to take any credit for anything and always sign your pieces like “- the daily newspaper team” or smth 
anywhom you’ve always loved writing about the stuff around you or making up little short stories
one of your hobbies is just going people watching and trying to write down a brief description of people you see and what you think they’re on the way to do
you’ve befriended the baristas at your favorite spot, lucas and mark, and they always beg to read them but you never let them because mark is too nice to tell you it’s shit and lucas is too dumb to at least say it nicely
you’ve got at least 6 notebooks FULL of these little stories but you’ve never really ? showed anyone because wow showing others your work is Scary
criticism ???/$&/&:&:&:
it’s midway through the first semester of the school year and you’ve been super busy since it’s football season and you gotta write about all the games
and you haven’t had much time to write your cute little stories for yourself and you miss it a lot :/
this weekend though the chance of rain is SUPER high so the football game is cancelled and you have plenty of time to yourself !! :D
there is, a setback tho
THUNDER!!!!! IS SO SCARY !!!!!!
u fckin softie
you decide to tough it out though and get suited up in some polka dot rain boots and a rain jacket and set off to find somewhere to chill
as you’re walking to the nearest lil greenhouse/cafe thing it starts raining ,, ,,, hARDER
when you started it wasn’t rlly raining it was just like that weird tension in the air right before the air pressure drops and it starts to rain and you were already on edge OOF
but then it’s raining so you clutch your notebook to your chest and dash
usain bolt had nothing on you girly you were ZOOM ZOOM
broom broom- doyoung
unfortunately you don’t make it though because with you head down to keep the rain out of your eyes you run RIGHT into someone’s CHEST !!!!!!
hehe u know i’m a sucker for these god damn TROPES
your notebook goes flying and and the arms attached to the Chest That Caused Your Grief come up to catch you by the arms
“oh gOD sorry are you okay ??? i wasn’t looking and i was trying to keep my journal dr- MY JOURNALSDJDDD”
you fling yourself out of this boys arms and pick up your soaking wet journal sadly
:((((((( you had so many stories in there wtf
“oh shit i’m sorry do you uh want me to buy you another one ???”
“no that’s okay it wasn’t your fault :( and it’s just a journal i’m only sad because all my stories are gone :(((((“
you finally look up from your Ruined journal to see , the prettiest boy
you can’t tell for sure cause his hair is soaking wet but it’s a bright red that looks a bit faded and his skin is tanned and golden like HONEY OOF
he meets your eyes and awkwardly smiles and he looks so GUILTY AW
“no really it’s fine don’t feel bad!!”
“okay but i feel bad what can i do to make it up to you?”
“hMMM you could come help me think of wacky stories about people who walk past”
“well if you INSIST m’lady”
“aw, never mind”
“IM JUST KIDDING SJDJJD”
so in the pouring rain you both walk to cafe and find a little corner to people-watch in
on the way there he tells you his name is donghyuck but his friends call him hyuck
“dude that’s the sound goofy makes when he laughs your friends are terrible”
“oh my god i don’t even think they know what they’re saying HsjdjHEHHS”
after a couple minutes of bad goofy impressions you decide to call him duckie instead because ,,,, GARSH MICKEY 🤠🤠🤠
also because it’s cute
you didn’t hear this from me but he uwued so hard rip his street cred with the Boys
anyways right before you settle in you’re like hey uh did you have somewhere to be like weren’t you heading places
and he was like nah i like the rain it’s nice to just walk around feels GOOD
your eyes widen so big and he snorts because what’s so ridiculous about that
and you’re like uh UH NO NOPE NO SIR I DONT FUCK WITH DEMONS
your dramatic ass tries to get up and LEAVE but he grabs your wrist and is like noooo we haven’t even written any stories yet why do you hate rain so much ??
you explain how thunder is the work of the devil and that lightning could strike you down where you stand at any moment and storms are EVIL
he chuckles and side eyes you
“aW you big wimp you’re afraid of thunderstorms aren’t you”
“yES. like any sane person would be”
“you know a lot of people actually like storms”
“like i said, SANE people do not”
and then you change the subject right quick because your face is getting RED with embarrassment
you n donghyuck spend like 2 hours just sitting in the corner and writing little scenarios on napkins
“oh shit that girl over there with the french braids is TOTALLY gonna marry hipster beanie guy in two years. mark my words”
“idk y/n she lowkey has the hots for the barista”
“ ew you mean mark??”
“yeah. now THAT man is a work of art”
MARKHYUCK RISE
“god what is wrong with you maybe you should buy me another book”
“too late now we’re FRIENDS and i don’t owe you ANYTHING”
“being friends doesn’t work like that at all but, okay”
at the end of the day you’ve got a stack of napkins with scribbled notes on them
(one of them has donghyuck’s number on it skdkkfjd)
he leaves you with a bright smile and you’re in awe this boy is so golden and lovely
oof and when you were still in the cafe his hair had dried to the unnatural red color that he ? somehow made look good ugh not fAIR
and it was a lil curly and fluffy and looked very soft :(((((
as you walk home you drift along the sidewalk with a stupid smile on your face wow please get a little less obvious hunty
when you get home the sun is setting and the rain has cleared and you are so Happy that was the best day !!!
you weren’t even scared of the thunder because whenever the sky would fckin CRACK OPEN hyuck would subtly try to keep your attention and distract you with questions
the sky: AAAAAAAAAAA
duckie: oH Hey uhhh so hOW do you even come up these stories ?):$:$ theyre so good
such a sweet boy uwu
when you get home your mom eyes you suspiciously as you drift down the hall towards your room but doesn’t comment
she didn’t need to though because you immediately return and tell her everything !!!
she encourages you to befriend him at school and see where it goes from there ;))) or just TEXT HIM
so you do
both of those things !!!
you: hey!! it’s y/n btw
duckie: hey! u make it home alive without the sky cracking open and killing u
you: stOP MAKING FUN OF ME
you send him memes and he sends , even better ones back this boy is Husband Material
the next couple weeks you realize that hyuck is actually in like a lot of your classes
and he’s like yeah i don’t blame you for not noticing since your nose is always in one of those Damn Journals
can’t believe u smh
anywhom
you start actually interacting with people in class
and by people i mean donghyuck and any of his friends who happen to be there
you literally get thrown into their friendgroup like one day you know donghyuck and have vaguely heard of jeno since he’s on the soccer team
and then the next you’re a part of the group message and jaemin begs for your math homework during lunch ????
“jaemin just dO YOUR OWN HOMEWORK FOR ONCE ???”
“ugh but i don’t know how”
“hey you know what maybe if you didn’t sleep in class you WOULD”
“IM TIRED GOD DAMN IT”
this is usually when duckie interjects with
“hey now girls, you’re both smart <3”
“i know im smart but , jaemin , i don’t know about him 😔😔”
poor jaemin leave him alone :(
jisung is , extREMELY awkward around you because he’s a Baby Freshman and you’re a Female Senior hsjdjf it’s so cute
and chenle is the complete opposite he IMMEDIATELY latches onto you and is always like
“y/n !!!! wanna watch this video of me singing and playing the piano when i was thirteen on live national television !!!!”
“y/N !!!!!!! can you drive me n jisung to get ice cream plEASE !!! we won’t even play PSY this time”
“okay,,,,, pinky promise?”
his pinky hooks around yours at an incredible speed as he jumps up and down with excitement
“pinky promise !!!!!!!!!!”
hyuck overhears and insists upon coming with for , unknown reasons
renjun and jeno keep snickering to each other across the lunch table too uGH
sneaky bastards !
after school you wait in the parking lot for the Babies with hyuck who looks rather flushed considering his skin is pretty tan and it takes a lot for him to visibly blush ??
“hey duckie boy you good?”
“haha yEAH uh just wondering where the boys are hhhh”
“oh yeah ! they should’ve been here like 10 mins ago”
your phone buzzes in your pocket and you go to check it to see a text in the group message
lele: hey y/n~ me n jisung can’t come we totally forgot we joined a frisbee team and there’s practice today !!!
blueberry: yeah ! have fun w/ hyuckie tho
moominluvr96: sjdjd i’m so proud of them
jenomunomunomu: absolute legends have fun at ur frisbee practice my sons
you: 🅱️ro i wanted to go home and SLEEP
blueberry: sorry ! xoxo :*
duckie: chenle my son ? how could you 🅱️etray me this way???
you: ur dead to me
you: literally what’s a chenle ?? sounds like a poisonous fruit
lele: NO IM SORRY
but tbh you’re just being Silly you don’t mind just going with Sunshine Boy
hyuck has only gotten redder as the texting went on though what’s his deal 0.0
you agree to take his car !
actually you insist because you don’t wanna drive but, let’s say you agreed
you find out that hyuck exclusively listens to hipster bands and the occasional troye sivan song because we love a gay legend
actually his music taste is ALL OVER THE PLACE but we r still boppin ladies
you roll the windows down even tho it’s Chilly and let your hand float in the breeze until your fingers start getting numb and you pull your hand back in and roll up the window
okay maybe that was a Bad Idea your fingers almost hurt they’re so cold and you’re rubbing the feeling back into them when hyuck clears his throat
you look up at him and he tilts his chin toward the hand he stretched toward you
you’re confused bc like ? i don’t have anything to give u duckie
he sighs anxiously
“just. give me your hand. mine are warm because i didn’t try to be cool and stick my hand out the window like this is a teen coming of age movie”
“have you ever just been nice and not followed it up with a weirdly specific insult”
“nope. now gimme”
you cautiously placed your hand in his and felt heat bloom all over your cheeks and trail up to your ears and down your neck
he gulps and interlocks your fingers and tucks them in the pocket of his hoodie
you have to lean against the console in between you a little so that your arm isn’t strained but it’s,,,,, Warm and Nice
you’re quick to continue the conversation like normal but your voice sometimes goes in and out since he is subconsciously rubbing his thumb over the back of your hand or tapping his fingers against yours
when you arrive you awkwardly pull your hand from his grip to get out of the car and he cringes a lil :(
you decide to be bold for once in your life and run around the car to catch up with him and shove your other hand into his
“this one’s cold too”
he ducks his head and smiles but gives your hand a lil squeeze :3 uwu
eventually though you do have to let go and enjoy your ice cream
you just make small talk with him about the newspaper and whatever homework is due the next day when a man walks in wearing BRIGHT RED CLOWN SHOES
the weirdest part though is the fact that other than the clown shoes the man is dressed like a body builder and has the hulking mass of one
and also there is a PARROT ON HIS SHOULDER ???
you and hyuck whip to face each other and then look back at the man
without looking away you slide your notebook to the middle of the table and flip open to where you’ve bookmarked the next available page
needless to say you both have a field day making up storylines for this man
“hey hyuckie i missed this it’s been forever since it’s been just the two of us and my journal”
“me too, sunshine”
“heY now you’re the sunshine in this relationship”
both of you choke at your use of the term “relationship” but continue with the conversation JSKSK
“alright but then you have to be the rain”
“aw you know i don’t like the rain”
“yes i know that’s why YOU are sunshine”
“kay but you are so much more like sunshine than i, an Emo”
“how bout i be sunshine since you like sunshine and me, and you be rain since i like rain and you”
OOF ????????
you blush for the Millionth Time and nod shyly and duckie is about to turn purple YIKES
you leave the ice cream shop and climb back in the car and the whole atmosphere is very Tense
you sigh because you miss holding his hand and then turn up the song on the radio which just happens to be, Walkin On Sunshine
THE !!! IRONY !!!
you giggle into your hand and he snorts and you both break into laughter
you plug your phone into the aux
“alright time for some Real Tunes”
“i swear to GOD if you play Bad Boy one more time i’m gonna LOSE IT”
“fuck you red velvet are LEGENDS”
“the only reason you know who they are is because mark tells everyone with a pulse that one of them is from canada just like him”
“okay and ??? i can still appreciate that they produce iconic songs only”
“LISTEN I LOVE RED VELVET TOO BUT ENOUGH IS ENOUGH”
you playfully bicker the whole way back and when you get back to the school to pick up your car you realize you never even got to play your song
“for your information, i was in fact NOT going to play bad boy i was going to play the bop of the century, what is love by twice”
and then, with heavy sarcasm
“well gee why didn’t you just sAY SO”
“IM SICK OF YOUR GIRL GROUP SLANDER LEE DONGHYUCK”
then he giggles and grabs your hand to keep you from getting more than halfway out of the car
“okay okay you know i’m just messing with you”
“yes but leave my gorls out of it”
he releases your hand with fake disgust and wipes it on the passenger seat headrest
“ugh go home, gru”
“it’s a good meme and you can’t even deny it duckie boy”
you blow him a half serious half playful kiss as you bounce over to your car and climb in
you play bad boy and roll the windows down as you drive by his car just to spite him and he laughs good naturedly
it’s only when you get home that you’re like heyyyy nOW
WAS THAT A DATE ??????
you tell your mom about it and she’s like uHHH sounds like a DATE to me ???
but you’re Unsure so you don’t say anything to the others or hyuck just the usual goodnight texts and whatnot
although it could be argued ,, that goodnight texts are a little, relationship-y
it could also be argued , that you do have his contact name as , duckie☼♥
but those can be discussed another time
you continue to hang out with the boys although you refuse to allow them to sit with you at football games because they’re so DISTRACTING
jeno and jisung just fckin yell the whole time while you try to jot notes down to turn it into a story later for the paper
but you can’t concentrate or even figure out wtf is goin on because they’re scREAMING and jumping and messing you uP !
so you sent them elsewhere although,,, hyuck stayed with you
he always does “just in case you get cold or smth”
ur not fooling anyone hyuckie baby
and would you look at that time has FLOWN and it’s time for homecoming !!!!
you plan on going in a big group with hyuck and all The Boys and jaemin has even scored a date !!!
it was highkey through trickery but that’s okay
chenle and jisung are gonna wear matching shirts because they’re headass like that
you’ve already bought a dress and you haven’t ….. shown hyuckie……. just in case……… he asks you
since he…… hasn’t …… YET
renjun keeps assuring you that you don’t need to find a date and that everything is covered but ???? inch resting how duckie has done nOT ONE THING
alright the day of the dance you wake up feeling a little off but go through your normal saturday routine of eating a waffle and absentmindedly watching old gossip girl reruns
but later in the day you feel SHITTY
you’re flushed and your head hurts and it takes so much EFFORT just to get up and get a glass of water
you , comrade, are sick :-(
you text in the gm to let your boys know you can’t come
chenle thinks you’re faking until he calls and hears you sniffling and how rough your voice sounds
“hEY THOT I KNOW UR FAKING BC U DONT HAVE A DATE”
“chenle if it didn’t hurt to speak i would yell at u but my eyes are watering please just text me”
“oh,,,,sorry love u”
and then he hangs up real fast lmao
so you decide to just wallow in despair in your bed and rent overpriced movies on demand
there’s a half drank mug of tea that has long gone cold that contains the medicine you’re supposed to be taking but,, you can’t be bothered tbh lifting your hand is so hard
after a few movies and the sun setting there’s knock at the door ???
you barely hear it since you’re in your room with the door closed but /sigh/ you gotta go answer
you drag yourself out of bed and stumble to the front door and open it, immediately slumping against the frame
this whole time you have still not opened your eyes because light hurts a lil and you know your house well enough
in hindsight that was probably dumb considering you don’t know who’s at the door
you try to open your eyes but they only turn half lidded and droopy so you can just barely make out donghyuck looking Concerned on your front porch
“duckie? what are u doing here?”
“uhhh i uh came to take you to homecoming ??”
he then holds up some flowers and smiles awkwardly
“duckie. baby. sunshine. did u not read the texts i sent ? also it is VERY late to be asking me to homecoming. also, i am a little high on cold medication”
“srry princess, can i come in? you look like you need company and soup and possibly some Sarcastic Banter”
“sounds good duck”
“okay duckie was already incorrect please don’t shorten it to duck”
“you know i didn’t have to let you in”
“so what kind of soup do you want? :-)”
he busies himself attempting to make soup while you have melted into a chair at the dining table with one eye cracked open to watch him
he is very obviously Struggling so you wobble to your feet to stand behind him at the stove and maybe lean a little too much into his back to prop your chin up on his shoulder and reach a hand around him to turn the heat down on the stove
you’ve reached the point of I Don’t Give A Shit and have given up on trying not to be affectionate with him you’re too tired and sickly to restrain yourself and his heart is just steadily beating faster and faster
after your soup you drag him into your bedroom to force him to provide you warmth while watching another movie
but he digs his heels into the floor and tugs on your hand to turn you around
“since you’re missing homecoming….. wanna dance?”
“in my bedroom. while i’m dying. with no music.”
“i’ll take care of the music. cmon don’t be difficult”
“i’m not being difficult i’m just-
you’re cut off by him pressing a finger to your lips and going shhhhhh
you open your mouth to curse him out bc hOW DARE HE
but then he gently pulls you by the waist into his chest and does his best to tuck you under his chin
you’re too comfortable like this so you don’t bother admonishing him for earlier and just settle into his embrace
you loop your arms around his neck as he starts to sway you back and forth
after a couple seconds he starts humming, quietly at first and then louder
and then he starts singing and it’s so sO SWEET AND SOFT
you can feel each breath he takes under your hands and the vibrating of his vocal chords against your forehead and you just close your eyes and press closer to him
you’ve literally never been this content in your whole life binch
he is so warm and ever so often smooths a hand up and down your spine whenever you shiver a little or shift in his arms
when the song finishes you keep swaying with him a little while longer
you’re leaning against him so hard that like the majority of your weight is on him yikes
“babe are you asleep”
“mm”
“no?”
“mmm”
“pretty close though?”
“hm”
“alright”
he chuckles and presses a barely there kiss to the top of your head and sort of waddles the two of you over to the bed
you don’t even have to ask him to climb in with you that was The Plan, Stan
(that’s a saying and also i’m calling u a stan wow queen of puns)
as soon as he settles in you tuck yourself under his arm and throw an arm over him to play with the fingers of his other hand
you’ve got the breakfast club on and it’s Real Nap Hours
hyuck’s arm falls asleep pretty soon tho so instead you switch to laying on your sides facing each other with your face pressed into his neck and your arms draped over each other
right before you fade into unconciousness, he tilts his chin down and nudges his nose against yours to get your attention
your eyes flutter open and you look up at him while he smiles gently down at your sleepy expression aWE ???
“hey wanna be my date when you’re not on your death bed?”
“god, what a romantic. is that a shakespeare quote?”
“shut up and say yes”
“alright fine”
“with more enthusiasm!”
“YES!! GOD DAMN IT”
he shakes his head but then leans down to press a lingering kiss against your cheek before tucking you back against him and evening out his breathing
you fall asleep and dream of boys with beautiful voices who love to dance in the rain
a couple hours later you wake up to a forehead smooch and your Boy whispering bye angel
you sit up and whine and he’s like bby i have to go it’s like midnight n my momma wants me home :(((
you pout and he giggles and taps your lips with his index finger
“go back to sleep and i’ll text you something nice to wake up to yeah?”
you nod and grab his hand to kiss it before flopping back down and passing The Fuck Out
the next morning you wake up still feeling a bit shitty but smiling anyways bc you’ve scored the cutest boy in the universe uwu
he even kept his promise and left you a cute message to wake up to ;((((
duckie☼♥: good morning bbg i hope ur feeling better today and that the sun shines all day for u !!!
you: JEKDKDJ DUCKIE IM STILL SICK BUT TAKE ME ON A DATE RN
you: 💗💗💗💕💌💞💞💗😤💖🤧😔💗😔🤧😔🌺💐🌺🌺🌸💐😔💛😔💛💐🤧💐💐💖💖
duckie☼♥: noooo ur gross
you: you ruined it :(((
duckie☼♥: i mean noooo u gotta get better
you: okay :)))
you finally get over your cold like 4 days later and insist you’re fine to be Taken Out And Treated Like A Princess
he tells you to dress warm except gloves bc he wants to hold youR HAND CAN YOU BELIEVE
you’re weirdly not nervous ? like you thought you would be but you’re just excited and very happy !!!! uwu
he picks you up about an hour after school and reveals that he’s gonna take you to all the cafes in town to people watch and write stories which is !!! your favorite activity !!!!!!
“is it lame??? oh god you think it’s lame i’m so sORRY”
“nO!!! no i love it you did good”
“are you sure?”
“yes duckie”
“okay good i mean i knew you’d like it”
“but you just-“
“hm?”
“,,,,, nevermind”
you both hike around town until it gets late and you’re tired and you end up on a bench in the local park with his head in your lap and your fingers in his hair
you lightly scratch his scalp and hum and he practically PURRS like a cat
(furry ????? it’s more likely than you think)
his eyes are closed and you trace your fingers over his features lightly until it tickles and he scrunches up his nose aw bABY !!!!!
then, without opening his eyes
“so when are you gonna man up and kiss me?”
“first of all, i will never man up i prefer being female thanks. sECOND WHY DO I GOTTA DO IT”
“i asked you on the date !!! you gotta do something!!!”
“i held your hand first!!”
“after i literally offered my hand to you”
“uGH fine come here”
“no i’m not gonna ‘come here’ you literally just made a disgusted noise at the thought of kissing me”
“it wasn’t at the thought of kissing you it was just at you”
“this isn’t helping at all”
you roll your eyes playfully and then yank him up by the collar of his shirt to press your forehead against his
“does this help?”
aND THEN YOU LAY ONE ON HIM ??????:$&:&;&;
QUEEN OF CONFIDENCE
he sighs against your lips and sits up a little more so he can reach you better, smoothing a hand up to cup the side of your jaw and neck
you pull away and his eyes are still closed
“hmmm,,, yeah”
you scoff and drop him back to half laying on your lap
“you’re such a dork”
“yeah but i’m your dork now so it’s embarrassing for both of us”
“aw i wouldn’t have it any other way <333”
“is it just me or was that sarcasm”
“just you <3333”
renjun, who has been rOOTING FOR YOU GUYS THIS ENTIRE TIME
screams when you call him that night lol
literally SCREECHES
chenle happens to be with him and screeches eVEN LOUDER
basically the whole group screams simultaneously they’ve been shipping it since day one
hyuck is a bit prideful so when you guys are out in public he’s not super affectionate but ,, when you’re not out
he’s wrapped around you like a koala and will never let go
you have to go pee? hold it
you’re dehydrated and dying? you can live off of his Love
your favorite activity to do together is BAKING because it never goes well no matter how hard you try
and although it usually ends in DISASTER it’s also a good time and afterwards duckie lets you curl up between his legs on the couch and nap uwu !
dating really didn’t change the dynamic between you two other than affection you still read each other to DUST on the regular  lmao
no one gets too harsh tho bc you love each other and whatnot
ugh love ruins all the FUN doesnt it :/
donghyuck makes it his business to know exactly when it will rain and makes sure to be with you when it does
at the first sight of clouds he is in your house with board games and movies and snuggles to distract you !!! what a sweetheart
on days when it’s really bad you just climb into bed and bury your face in his chest while he talks about whatever comes to mind and distracts you
he also takes to slumping down and falling asleep on your shoulder whenever you have movie nights together and it’s so CUTE
his little heart shaped lips and his cheeks always end up smushed and he just looks adorable wow rip you
he’s obsessed with your cheeks he loves to cup your face while he talks to you and press gentle kisses to them during Sleepy Time or when you part ways in the school hallways
if he’s excited he’ll bound up behind you and wrap his arms around you and kiss your cheek real hard and then start babbling about whatever’s got him so worked up
basically, hyuckie is a boy full of sunshine and passion and sarcasm and he’s the best boyfriend you could ever ask for :’-)
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survivorgalaxysedge · 4 years
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Episode 6 | Your Social Game Is On 0! - MJ
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WHOOPS I KINDA DID THAT, SORRY KEEGAN, YOU DID ABSOLUTELY NOTHING WRONG I JUST NEED EVERYONE ON THIS TEAM TO BE BFFS WITH ME
also just realized that at final 13 i know well over half of the people in the game..... love that for me!! -close with ali, jonathan, and zoe over here both separately & together -mj obvs -cindi and jay are known quantities -jules is great too -so only ones i don’t know.... silver, zach, asya, nathan & jessie i know i can work with at least half of the ones i know, probably more - only real question mark is cindi cuz she was a little sus originally, and jay i hope is still good but i think he and keegan were close so might have to work on explaining that one. but overall, i feel pretty well set for merge whenever it gets here, and hopefully the next couple votes can get rid of some of those ones i don’t know. onward and upward! we’ll see!!!
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I don't really do much text confessionals but I just ranted in my host chat so I'm sending it here. ~~This Round~~ this round is gonna be fun, so much fun, and I won't have to do like any gameplay because I think regardless the trian tribe is going to tribal and I wanna see how that plays out, and then if my tribe goes to tribal I'm gonna dip out using my safety without power and let silver kill an og circi since he's gonna pull out that extra vote however, if asya or jules have an advantage / if mj flips that's fine with me too. I'm still debating playing the solar eclipse. I want to cause chaos, and for what? For no reason. *Moments Later* I spun a wheel to determine what I will do this round, and it landed on not playing the solar eclipse and noping out. that's what I'm doing. now you may ask for the strategic value of letting a circi die? Well, if a Circi goes (or two circis go if it's an andro/circi tribal), I'm suddenly 1/2 of my OG tribe left. People may want to pick me up and use me as a number since I will have no allegiance to anyone. This puts me in a lowkey kind of decent position if I lie and say I was gonna be voted out if I didn't safety w/o power. Also playing a safety without power and claiming the magnet would statistically mean I am less likely to have other advantages since other people had searches stockpiled for the swap I'll probably test the waters for a bit after immunity results and then play the magnet to make it look like it wasn't planned and I just got a bad feeling. In other words: I'm turning the crackhead dial-up, it's time for fun! I swear to god if we don't merge after this round I will scream. ~~Planning for the Future~~ oh my god it could be a 10 person merge. because the merge episode is usually episode 8. we're on 6 but that wouldn't make sense to prevent a 5 > 1 person tribe from occurring and 5 votes in a swap seems like a bit much. I feel like at this point I know I probably won't win this game but I'm gonna give them hell while I'm here playing well is boring People on this cast that will probably try to kill me: Cindi, Jay, Nathan, Maybe Jesse? I haven't really spoken much to MJ or Silver, chances are my closest ally is going home this round, Zoe Jonathan and Ari may pick me up if I'm from a minority tribe but dump me very quickly. From my POV the cards are not in my favor, all I have are my advantages so the path of chaos is more beneficial plus I'm sure it's spread I'm pretty good at immunities in merge so they're gonna try to take me out early on like round 1 or 2, So if I want any chance I need to play the following way Since I cannot depend on social connections as much as I normally would 1. Make sure my existing social connections are voted out so that I am not in the group where I don't have the best social connections but I have enough that it is worrisome 2. Play my advantages early in merge if I don't win immunity, cementing myself as a big target 3. Convince people that nobody will take me deep into the game because I have placed myself in the position of a big target 4. Try to get the people that would be 100% against me voted out, while also watching Andro tribe majority. Basically making Andro and Trian fight each other 5. Win immunities near the end and somehow make it deep??? That's my best case scenario at this point in my opinion.
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So like we won immunity . Wow see what happens when we actually try? Isn’t that nice . Idc who goes really I can make new bonds or whatever with people if silver goes but in the ideal scenario he will stay. But tbh I have no power over what happens tonight so I don’t care. Hoping merge happens next 
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ok so i have a little cute vote chat for me jules and mj. mj is spilling EVERYTHING abt his OG tribe including how they blindsided my wife pippa... rude. also abt his idol searches. he's a smart cookie and one to watch for but i also like him and need friends so<3
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THIS SUCKS SO MUCHHHHHH ALI I AM SO SORRY
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Having to remind myself that is entirely okay to be vengeful and even be blinded by revenge in these games. I've become way too soft for these things in the past couple of years. As of right now, tonight's tribal council should be 2-1-1, since Zach is skipping -- 2 votes for Silver (Asya, Jules), 1 vote Jules (Silver), and 1 vote Asya (me). If Silver's 50/50 coin lands on SAFE, the it’ll tie between Aysa and Jules and I think I’ll get auto-eliminated if it’s rocks instead of a 1v1 tiebreaker, and I’m OK with that I think! If it lands on NOT SAFE then Silver is leaving, period! And Silver deserves to leave, and I shouldn't feel nervous about taking this shot, no matter if it backfires or not. It makes me feel icky to think that Nathan, Jessie, and Silver were in cahoots from the very start and I didn't care enough to control my own game because I've become too accustomed to jellyfishing my way through ORGs to avoid being pinpointed as a leader or strategist. I'm putting my foot down tonight. I'm taking this shot and if it works, then it's merely the beginning of the end for half of the remaining cast as far as I'm concerned. If it backfires, then oh well, at least I tried something here. NO REGRETS! Anyway, just had the first alliance call with Aysa and Jules and it was great! Good vibes! We just chit-chatted and discussed strategy and previous dynamics. It will be a shame if we don’t get to push forward together after tonight. I’m also telling Silver right now not to play the 50/50 befcause if it doesn’t land on safe then the vote will be 3-2 if Aysa is lying; and if Aysa is telling the truth then he’s wasting a power that he could have later on. It kinda makes no sense for him to use the 50/50 considering the information he’s being told. I’m fine with pitching this to him because he said he was 100% gonna use it anyway, so me telling him not to will either leave things the same or result in him not using it at all. There’s no losing there. The only way to lose is if it lands on safe. The savage in me is saying, no MJ don’t let yourself get auto-eliminated if things go south, CUT JULES! And I realize that that’s exactly how I should be thinking given the first two lines of this confessional!!! But I wanna be a risk taker. I’m fine with this blowing up because the potential reward is greater than me being auto-eliminated. + Jack was rocked out last season so it would be cute to match that if it comes down to it! I hope it doesn’t, but it’s fine either way. I feel like this game owes me. Silver's 50/50 will not land on safe.
ALSO on this alliance call, I was informed that the adventure reset?!?!?!?! AND I HAVEN'T DONE THEM IN A WEEK???? LMFAOOOOO anyway.
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AHHHH why did I volunteer to go first in the challenge ugh I remembered the wrong shit lol. But this tribal I dont think I have to use my 50/50 since asya doesn't wanna go to rock so she'll vote Jules with us. So yeah I think I'll be ok. Asya told me Jules is voting MJ. I'm just hoping this isnt gonna be a big blindside towards me but yeah wish me luck 
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okay, here's the plan. silver has the glowing orb 50/50 coin thing. i expect him to play it. silver's voting me. im voting silver and so is asya. mj is king of the key here. if mj votes silver and the orb makes him safe, then im gone. if mj votes asya (hang on, ive just had a realization and just had to sit in silence for a while whilst i process it.) okay. if mj votes asya and the coin makes silver safe, it'll be 2-1-1, with a tie between me and asya. which im just now realizing could send it to rocks where mj would be the one leaving............. boy howdy, sure wish i knew how to count. okay, yeah. we'll just hope that the coin lands on NOT SAFE -or- he doesnt play it at all. mj and asya are telling him that they're voting me out, so maybe he'll feel comfy enough not to use it. i dont WANT asya to be voted out, but it's better than me or mj being the vote. if mj gets rocked out by default because i didnt realize how to count....... oops!!! but silver has a bunch of advantages, so him getting voted out would flush those out. asya has an immunity shard and id like to think that she'd will it to me if she gets voted out, but eye dee kay!
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AHHH sorry this is coming so late but I've had a busy busy few days, and luckily I've avoided tribal during this time lol So before I was feeling a bit shaky on this tribe, I felt like everyone was more connected to each other than to me. But as it turns out, that's completely untrue and I feel very at the center of this tribe. Nathan and I have had multiple long talks recently where we've decided that we want to stick together deep into this game, and he's given me some info about how he and Silver gave up their immunity shards to Jessie, so she has an idol now. Cindi and I have a connection from our original tribe too and I've been keeping up on that relationship too. I gave her a clue I found during an expedition but nothing really came of it since it's, as far as I can tell, impossible to decipher. If we did end up going to tribal, I would have made a push to take out Jessie TBH, even though she has the idol. I feel like even if Nathan wasn't for it, they'd go for Cindi and not me. But luckily that doesn't matter because we're immune and likely heading for a merge in the next 30 minutes. And if not a merge, than another swap bc I think y'all hosts anticipated that one tribe could have lost all of the last 3 immunities and I don't think you want a 2 person tribe at the f11. But yeah I feel really good about my place in the game, I want Nathan to be my shield for the time being bc he's so vocal and strategic that he will always be a target ahead of me.
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I have put so much work in to stay
I BETTER STAY
All this fighting for nothing smh <3 it is not looking good
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gnostalgist · 8 years
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🌻rules: once you have been tagged, you are supposed to write 92 truths about yourself. At the end, choose 25 people to tag.
I was tagged by @fixationpsychosis ! (thank u!)
🌻LAST…

[1] drink: zero ultra monster energy fsdjlfkjds (its the only Good(TM) monster so i had to specify)

[2] phone call: my grandma probably. if skype calls count, then dirk.

[3] text message: my grandma...

[4] song you listened to: ok it was the schuyler sisters from hamilton but it was bc i was doign a colorguard routine to it which probably doesnt help but
[5] time you cried: idk... a couple days ago
🌻 HAVE YOU EVER…
[6] dated someone twice: yeah

[7] been cheated on: uh you know what? probably, yeah.

[8] kissed someone and regretted it: not immediately??? but yeah

[9] lost someone special: yeah i mean.. i hope its not permanent but yeah

[10] been depressed: all day erryday

[11] gotten drunk and thrown up: nah
🌻 LIST 3 FAVOURITE COLORS…

[12] pastel pink

[13] the one shade of red u know. like my blog aesthetic

[14] orange but its gotta be soft
🌻 IN THE LAST YEAR HAVE YOU…

[15] made new friends: yes!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! i made so many new good friends somewhat recently!! i love them!!!

[16] fallen out of love: im trying
[17] laughed until you cried: yeah

[18] found out someone was talking about you: hhhh yeah
[19] met someone who changed you: mmmmmmmmmmmmmmmm

[20] found out who your true friends are: hh yeah

[21] kissed someone on your Facebook list: ive only kissed two people ever and theyre both BLOCKED AS FUCK
🌻 GENERAL…

[22] how many of your Facebook friends do you know in real life: (sidenote: i dont like the term “real life” when talking abt friends bc just bc u have ldrs doesnt mean u dont know the person in ‘real life’ bc u do. but i know what its asking so im just gonna answer that) 3... because i panicked and deleted almost everyone off my friends list

[23] do you have any pets: i have a cat named Pico de Gato
[24] do you want to change your name: legally? yeah. but idk im ok w my name(s) rn

[25] what did you do for your last birthday: hhhhh I CRIED BC NOBODY WAS ABLE TO HANG OUT AND I SAT IN MY ROOM ALONE but then the other day my friend brought me weed as a belated bday present so whatever
[26] what time did you wake up: 6 am

[27] what were you doing at midnight last night: sleepin
[28] name something you cannot wait for: GREEN DAY AND AGAINST ME CONCERT NEXT MONTH!

[29] when was the last time you saw your mother: oh god last summer i think im not sure

[30] what is one thing you wish you could change about your life: not having bpd and ruining all of my relationships
[31] what are you listening to right now: against me bc i remembered the concert for #28...
[32] have you ever talked to a person named Tom: i went to middle school w someone named tom and i had him in social studies and he wrote a song for a class project on guitar except it was really bad 

[33] something that is getting on your nerves: this one kid i kind of know thats.. actualyl terrible i want them to die....

[34] most visited website: tumblr/youtube 

[35] elementary: idk what these are actually asking but i... think its asking where... i started to kindergarten at a school in south dakota, and then a different school here from then until 2nd grade; 3rd grade in texas; 4th in rochester, minnesota and 5th in winona, minnesota

[36] high school: currently in rn and it sux

[37] college: either going to a technical school here to get a degree as a diagnostic medical sonographer or going somewhere??? to get a phd in psych to be a clinical psychologist. prolly the former tho,,
[38] hair colour: black but rly badly dyed

[39] long or short hair: idk its like to my shoulders when its down but also i have a mohawk

[40] do you have a crush on someone: YEA IM RLY GAY FOR MY BF
[41] what do you like about yourself: my eyes and Musical Abilities(TM)

[42] piercings: idk i dont really want any,,

[43] blood type: idk ??
??????????????
[44] nickname: roxy (if that counts..), kasp, rox, friendly ghost

[45] relationship status: IM LVOE DIRK

[46] zodiac sign: picses/aries

[47] pronouns: god i dont fucking know.. any?? except if we’re not close u cant use she/her but. yeah idk. any.

[48] fav TV show: hm twd probably

[49] tattoos: i dont have any, BUT
 im going to get a bike helmet? idk where yet though. and then just those plastic vampire teeth, and finally, the Most Important one, the word ‘drown’ in morse code on the inside of my left arm. im gonna?? try to meet tyler joseph and have him write it for me.
[50] right or left handed: right
🌻 FIRST…

[51] surgery: i had surgery on my tongue in like 1st/2nd grade bc i couldnt like. lift it up

[52] piercing: none

[53] best friend: a girl named zaneb
 
[54] sport: uhhh i tried to do bmx for a while but ive never been in a sport rly until now if u count colorguard

[55] vacation: hm my familys always been poor so like. we’ve only gone to texas and south dakota to see family

[56] pair of trainers: wh.. what
🌻 RIGHT NOW…

[57] eating: nothing but i just ate a cookie i baked. also i know this isnt what it asked but i just want to say ive ate 7 tacos in the past 3 day.

[58] drinking: ALRIGHT i started writing this post like 4 hours ago but im still drinking that monster

[59] I’m about to: nut
[60] listening to: against me

[61] waiting for: dirk to come online?????

[62] want: dirk to come online?????

[63] get married: probably not..

[64] career?: diagnostic medical sonography or clinical psychologist
🌻 WHICH IS BETTER…

[65] hugs or kisses: hugs... kissing is honestly disgusting and ngl like 95% of the time ive kissed anyone i just found it Gross dskfjds;ld

[66] lips or eyes: eyes.....

[67] shorter or taller: ok i dont actually care either way but listen. dallon weekes is 6′4′’ and he can W R E C K  M E

[68] older or younger: i dont care but i usually just happen to like ppl older than me? but not by much like a year at most

[69] romantic or spontaneous: both

[70] nice arms or nice stomach: idc s’all cute

[71] sensitive or loud: idk both but at different times??
[72] hook up or relationship: relationship...

[73] troublemaker or hesitant: idk..
🌻 HAVE YOU EVER…

[74] kissed a stranger: god no. i tried once when i was 12

[75] drank hard liquor: yeah but i was depressed and we dont talk about that period of my life
[76] lost glasses/contact lenses: i dont.. wear them.
[77] turned someone down: i dont think so... nobody is interested in me ever lmao
[78] sex on first date: GROSS

[79] broken someone’s heart: i dont think so

[80] had your own heart broken: yeah
[81] been arrested: ....listen

[82] cried when someone died: no

[83] fallen for a friend: hm i dont think so. unless u count dirk but i had a crush on him like immediately
🌻 DO YOU BELIEVE IN…

[84] yourself: every other wednesday

[85] miracles: eh
[86] love at first sight: no but i think u can kinda have a connection at first sight. like a “i know im going to love you” at first sight.
[87] santa claus: yeah ofc

[88] kiss on the first date: hh it depends idk

[89] angels: i am an angel so like
🌻 OTHER…

[90] current best friend’s name: i never have like actual best friends bc nobody likes me but idk ill go out on a limb and say martin

[91] eye colour: blue

[92] favourite movie: the labyrinth or heathers or little shop of horrors. or book of mormon if we pretend thats a movie
im too lazy to tag people i am SORRY if u wanna do this then say i tagged u tho!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!11
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kaedekayano · 8 years
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001; Kanzaki and Kayano. 002: Gakushuu Asano
oh boy i’m abt to get so excited and emotional fuck adkaldjahdhdjsd
kanzaki/kayano
when I started shipping it if I did: i don’t remember tbh. i always lowkey shipped it haha, but i don’t think i really realised it until @wassailtofivehundred was like !! yukikae !! and also i saw cute fanart and i rewatched a couple episodes (kyoto trip ehh) and i was like, fuck i really ship this. also a lot of it was b/c around december (the time i published be your own hero) i started liking kayano a lot more and then that made me salty bc nagisa/kayano was so poorly written and an injustice to her character. she deserved a person who she had actual chemistry with, and i think kanzaki is definitely that person (or one of them).
my thoughts: pure!! good!! beautiful and amazing!! i love it!! so much!! i’m working on a v v long yukikae kayano-POV fic right now and i’m excited to show it to y’all b/c i have trouble expressing how much/why i love characters/ships until i have a fic to support it, haha. but anyway i think kanzaki is really good for kayano b/c she’s so understanding and caring, and kayano is good for kanzaki because — look they just care so much abt each other okay they’re so Good.
What makes me happy about them: so good. so pure. so beautiful. they’re just healthy for each other and i love the idea of kayano’s best friend supporting her through all the shit she’s gone through because fuck, man, kayano’s mom and sister are dead, the only “friends” she had, she built her friendship on a lie, the teacher she tried to kill and then turned out not to be guilty is dead anyway (bye bye, purpose that kept her going for a year despite all her issues), the person she was for a year was a lie but — not all of it, okay, deep down kaede kayano/akari yukimura is still a good caring person and kanzaki knows it even if she did lie and the two of them supporting each other and I just — yeah
What makes me sad about them: i’m always full of salt about kayano so :/ i don’t like it when people don’t acknowledge the kayano arc happened/kayano’s real personality is very different from the one she pretended to be/she lied to the class for a year? yeah matsui just decided to forget about it and sideline her because he’s a shit writer and what the fuck is continuity, but that doesn’t mean you should follow his example. so it’d be great to see those issues acknowledged!! give me kanzaki understanding kayano did fucked-up things and is a messy person who was not the kind, cheerful, sweet girl she pretended to be and loving her anyway!! (acknowledge and justify the kayano arc for why it happened without throwing logic out the window, and i’ll personally send you a thank-you card)
things done in fanfic that annoys me: there are two fics on ao3 for yukikae, lol (i’m planning to remedy this because inexcusable!!). one is kayano third wheeling karmagisa w/ like 5 lines of actual yukikae (no offense to the author, the fic is fine, it’s just Not Yukikae). the other is green’s fic and admittedly there isn’t a lot of overtly romantic yukikae but it’s a really good fic and there’s good worldbuilding and concepts and y’all should read it
things I look for in fanfic: having it exist. that’s what i’m looking for. that being said, see above rant, because while there aren’t many fics about kanzaki (beautiful daughter pls love her more), there is plenty of fic about kayano and it is almost never accurate. it makes me sad. accurate, well-done characterization is what i Live for
Who I’d be comfortable them ending up with, if not each other: both of them, okuda. as previously mentioned, kanzaki, maybe yada? for kaede, rio, also yada, maybe kataoka (it’s mentioned kayano admires her and i don’t think that was a lie, akari seems like the type of girl who recognises and respects strength and competence in people). um. the 3-E girls are all good in general haha, the only person i can think of off the top of my head i’d say no to is okano with kanzaki because okano dislikes her and kanzaki is uncomfortable with that, so. :/ although seeing them work past it (and okano getting past her own insecurities regarding her femininity) would be cool, so even then, i can’t say Absolutely Never. just not nagisa/kayano pls
My happily ever after for them: sometime in their mid/late-20s, they move into an apartment together and own lots of books and cute stationery and various trinkets. also a cat. maybe other pets, like a hamster or a dog. kayano is a successful actress all over again but keeps her relationship with kanzaki not secret but lowkey. kanzaki is away from her parents and likes her job and reads a lot of books. their friends come visit them pretty frequently and the neighbors think they’re adorable. they’re happy.
who is the big spoon/little spoon: omg fuck i suck at this kind of thing. i think kayano would be the big spoon and kanzaki the little spoon but i don’t think they’d mind switching
what is their favorite non-sexual activity: um theyre fond of reading and decorating things (apartment they move into together) and baking and taking walks together. probably taking walks with the dog tbh. that was like 4 i dont know sorry im still in the developing stages of headcanons for these two ive only been highkey invested in this ship for like a month and a half okay
gakushuu asano
How I feel about this character: today i started thinking about him completely out of the blue, with no prompting, and then i sat down and wrote 4 pages in my notebook about an AU where ikeda doesn’t die and gakuhou remains a good dad. last sentence is “in another world, gakushuu asano is healthy and happy and okay.” this is pretty much how i am all day every day i love this child so much he’s just. i see a lot of myself in him (hes relatable okay) and he’s so amazing and brilliant and full of curiosity and potential and i!!! love!!! him!!!! i want him to be happy so much!!! i love him!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! aaaaaaaaaaaaaaaa
All the people I ship romantically with this character: karma (obviously haha), um. fuck. im really fond of renshuu (like really fond) but i usually ship it as ren having a one-sided crush on gakushuu that eventually concludes in ren realising shuu’s crushing unattainability (also i hc gakushuu as ace arospec and he’s kinda ehhh abt romance in general. projecting? me? yeah) and dealing with it and they become really really good best friends even tho it makes ren’s heart hurt a lil bit but mostly its okay. fuck i had a fic abt this i started months ago that i never finished i gotta do that but yeah i envision the virtuosos’ dynamic as being very very complicated in general. oh yeah i cant believe i said i ship karma/gakushuu only once in this post so far so anyway i ship karushuu i love karushuu karushuu is love karushuu is life
My non-romantic OTP for this character: the virtuosos of course its not like i wrote like 1k+ of meta on this hahahaha also gakushuu/isogai, gakushuu/kataoka (why cant we see his respect for her acknowledged as well i know isogai gets his own ep and all but kataoka is still important and is also a class rep :/), gakushuu/nagisa a little bit (i used to be super into it and i still kinda like it), i actually really like the idea of platonic!karushuu because those two are cute boyfriends but working their way from enemies to rivals with grudging respect for each other to best friends?? it’s good
My unpopular opinion about this character: he and karma are not the same person or quite frankly anywhere close to it. there’s lots of parallels they’re good narrative foils but seeing people act like gakushuu is just a recoloured karma makes me sad. pls no my son is so complex and wonderful and different pls pls understand this he’s not just karma akabane with orange hair he’s his own character and such a good one
One thing I wish would happen / had happened with this character in canon: he goes to MIT and is separated from his father’s awful awful toxic influence and lives a happy brilliant successful life and is emotionally okay. i mean it’s not non-canon hahaha but seeing it onscreen would’ve been cool. we can assume that happens anyway tho b/c it’s gakushuu. uhh seeing him interact with his mom onscreen (or like, seeing his mom at all) would’ve been really cool!!! for who i imagine his mom as, i pretty much just think of @cosmicyue‘s hideko asano headcanon :)
my OTP: karushuu obviously. ohh man i love these two nerds so fucking much okay. they hate each other so so much but they also have this respect for each other alright if i start talking about why i ship karushuu (something ive actually never done on this blog bc i dont want people to think im trying to push karushuu on everyone ajdkakdkajsh; theres hardly a shortage of karushuu shippers around) then im gonna b here all day and this is already really long. ill shut up
my cross over ship: none i dont rlly think about AC in relation to other fandoms tbh
a headcanon fact: i have so many. fuck. um one of my favorites (ive mentioned it before but) is that the asanos are both fluent in 3+ languages and they talk shit about people they look down on in those languages when they’re around those people, just to make people uncomfortable.
send me a ship, a character, or five characters
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