#sorry it got lengthy

[glitterghost]

It's not always easy to be kind or gentle with the current version of yourself right now. But if you look back at all the other versions you've been, the softness you feel for them. The way you want to protect and envelop them and give them all the care and tenderness you can. Maybe it'll help us remember that eventually, we'll look back on these current versions of ourselves in that same light, too.

Maybe that will be enough of a reminder for us. So be patient. Be forgiving. Be easy on yourself. Give yourself all the love you're able. Even on the hard days. Especially on the hard days. 🌸 🤍✨️

[writtense]

jokes about Lane being dick sucking height then proceeds to die and scream as the npc I joked at leans over to resurrect Lane

[ivegotyourbackbuddie]

Ao3 Link because this one is a bit long <3

Buck ducks his head on his way into the station, hoping that it's one of those days where everyone else is too caught up in their own stuff to notice that he’s kind of spiraling.

It's not that he wants everyone to be going through stuff. And really, thinking that might bring it into existence, and the 118 already feels cursed enough as is. So, Buck really doesn't want anyone to be dealing with emotional baggage on the same level as what he's dealing with but-

"You alright?" Bobby asks as he turns off the stove, pulling everyone's attention toward Buck which is exactly what he doesn't need right now.

"Fine. Just thinking," Buck replies easily, ignoring the way Eddie is leveling him with an I know you're lying because you're a worse liar than Christopher look.

Before Eddie can say anything, Chimney points a piece of bacon at him and chimes in, "Uh oh. That's dangerous."

"What's more dangerous are the thoughts he isn't willing to share with the class," Hen says, eyebrows raised in an almost accusatory way. "So, what aren't you telling us?"

Buck shakes his head with a frown. "Nothing," he states, taking a place at the table and shoveling food on his plate, hoping it's the end of this conversation.

Eddie leans over and lowers his voice to ask, "You're not having nightmares again, are you?"

"No," Buck replies honestly, although after the events of last night, he just might.

"Maddie hasn't said anything, so it's not family related,'' Chimney very unhelpfully adds.

"Are you and Tommy okay?" Hen asks.

The grimace is entirely involuntary.

"Ding, ding, ding. We have a winner!" Chimney says with a laugh which dies down quickly when Bobby gives him a look.

"What happened?" Hen questions softly.

Bobby takes the opportunity to clear his throat. "Buck, you don't have to answer any of their questions if you don't want to, after all, we are all at work."

"When has that stopped anyone before?" Chimney asks, getting a swift kick in the shin by Hen in response.

The tiniest bit of relief floods his system when everyone stops pressing and moves on. Well, besides the occasional lingering glance of curiosity, they mostly move on. But the smallest part of Buck wishes they would press on because he has to tell someone, and while they are some of the nosiest people he's ever met, they're also family.

"I called Tommy the wrong name last night!" Buck blurts out.

Everyone stops mid-conversation to look at him.

"I called him the wrong name... and he left."

The amusement on Hen's face slips right off as she puts a hand over Buck's. "Oh, Buck."

Eddie swallows his food audibly before gently asking, "Left as in..."

Buck glances his way, taking in the soft sympathy in Eddie's eyes. "Left the apartment with a quick goodbye saying he needed time to think about things, and he hasn't talked to me since. It's been twelve hours."

"That's not too bad. What we really need to know is what name you called him. Then we can figure out the damage. And hey, I've had many girls call me the wrong name, and the longest I waited was maybe a day before speaking to them again," Chimney says.

"I don't think you're the best person to be giving advice about this," Bobby says with his ever-present small smile.

"Hey, I'm married now! I think I'm doing pretty great."

Bobby turns his attention back to Buck. "Hey, kid. We've all been there, okay? You're still in the early stages of this relationship, and it's natural to revert to old tendencies - including calling someone the wrong name. Hell, I've called Athena my first wife's name before; there's nothing to be ashamed of."

Buck shakes his head and stares down at the table. "But it was... really bad this time."

"This time?" Ravi asks in disbelief, only to be ignored as Buck continues.

"He didn't even look mad. He just looked... disappointed. And I thought it was something we could laugh off because really it was just a slip of the tongue! I mean, I didn't mean to call him 'Bobby!'"

An eerie silence settles in the station as everyone takes in what was said.

Buck tries to defend himself with a quick, "Uh-" But is immediately cut off by the bell going off.

On the way to the scene, everyone glances at Buck who finally says, "Okay, so Tommy has a daddy kink."

"Yeah, I could've gone my whole life without knowing that," Chimney sighs.

"And!" Buck continues, "Daddy and Bobby are... kind of similar sounding, you know? Daddy... Bobby..."

"If you say 'daddy' one more time, I will revoke Uncle Buck privileges," Chimney groans.

Hen shrugs and says, "There's nothing wrong with a daddy kink as long as everyone is consenting. Now a Bobby kink..."

There's a mixture of laughter from Hen and Chimney, an ay dios from Eddie, a mumbled what is happening from Ravi, and Bobby pointedly tries to ignore the conversation.

"We were in the kitchen and he handed me-!"

"Nope! I do not want to hear about your sex life, Buckaroo!"

Buck frowns at Chimney for a moment before his eyebrows shoot up in shock. "Oh! No! You all think I- Oh god. No. No." Buck shakes his head seriously and continues, "The kink extends outside of the bedroom. He likes it when I call him that all the time. Like when we're having dinner or when we're making dinner. Which is exactly when it happened last night. See, Bobby and I cook all the time, plus like I said Bobby and Da-"

"Alright, we're one minute out, let's wrap this conversation up please," Bobby says, as the tips of his ears turn red.

"Yes, d- Bobby. Shit," Buck mutters, ignoring the cackling around him. Who knew a minute could last so long?

Luckily, the call isn’t too bad – a car accident with the worst injury being minor airbag burns. They're able to clear the scene quickly - too quickly in Buck's opinion because none of them forget their previous conversation.

On the ride back, it takes less than a minute before Eddie asks, "So, I don't get it. You misspoke, and Tommy just... walked out?"

"If it was during sex... that would definitely be off-putting, but you would think you could just laugh it off even if it killed the mood," Hen thinks aloud, "But what exactly did you say when you called him Bobby?"

Buck shifts uncomfortably in his seat as he recalls the moment. "He just asked me to hand him the garlic powder, and I said 'Yes, Bobby' and immediately started laughing about it because I thought we could just laugh it off. But when I saw he wasn't laughing I apologized because it was an honest mistake, but he said the thing about taking time to figure things out, and he walked out."

"Maybe he didn't want to be compared to Cap because he's ancient," Chim jokes, trying to lighten the mood a bit.

Hen laughs and looks at Bobby. "You have no comeback today?"

"Don't need one if being ancient got me Athena."

There's a series of cooing, awws, and catcalls from everyone as they're quick to tease Bobby who throws a proud smile over his shoulder. Buck tries his hardest to focus on the secondhand love he feels for their relationship but notices how dim it is when compared to his tarnishing relationship. Bobby must notice it because he's quick to say, "Tommy is a good man. He'll come around."

Buck nods, lost in the thought of what if he doesn't? and too distracted by it to conceal his other thought, "Yeah, if he can get over me calling him Eddie in bed then he should be able to get over this, right?"

A weird strangled noise comes out of Chimney's mouth and Hen's jaw visibly drops. But Buck's eyes shoot to Eddie when he realizes what he just confessed.

Eddie just smiles, looking disturbingly undisturbed and a little amused and maybe… proud?

A minute of silence passes by before Ravi of all people asks, "So is no one going to question what was just said?"

Eddie shakes his head and laughs. "Come on, you guys. You said it yourself it happens to everyone. And I've had my fair share of partners who have gotten offended because they thought I said 'Buck' but 'Buck' and 'fuck' sound very similar."

"Just like 'Eddie' and 'baby' sound similar," Buck rushes to say, jaw tight, nodding quickly in agreement.

"Yeah because I'm sure that..." Chimney trails off and throws his hands up. He shoots Hen a look and asks, "Do you want to take this one?"

Hen blows out a deep breath of air and shakes her head. "They don't pay me enough to even begin to unpack this."

Eddie rolls his eyes and bumps his knee against Buck's. "This doesn't change a thing between us, okay?” He lowers his voice to say, “And between you and me, there was definitely one time I clearly said your name, so I guess we're even."

"You realize our radios are all on the same channel, right?" Bobby asks with barely veiled amusement.

Eddie's eyes widen for a second before he straightens up and fixes everyone with a flat look, almost daring them to say anything.

"Does this happen often?" Ravi asks naively.

"With these two idiots?" Hen asks.

"Yes," comes the answer from Chimney, Hen, and Bobby.

Buck crosses his arms, but he can't feel too bad when Eddie shoots him a small private smile.

Soon enough, they get back to the station, and Buck can sense something is off when he's the last to get out of the truck.

"Someone is here to see you, Buck," Bobby says, his smile tighter than usual before he squeezes Buck's arm and walks past him. Buck glances over everyone else's shoulders and finds Tommy standing there, hands in his pockets looking slightly uneasy.

"So, I'm assuming everyone knows," Tommy comments to the group who all look around uncomfortably.

"I think Cap said something about cleaning something upstairs," Ravi says before running off. He's definitely one of their smartest firefighters and probably their least nosy - maybe there's a connection there. Buck doesn't have much time to think about it as everyone rushes past him, giving him looks of encouragement and poorly concealed grimaces.

"Hi, Tommy," Buck says, purposefully saying his name to prove to both of them that he's capable of it.

"Evan," Tommy replies easily. He glances up and sighs, "Let's go somewhere a bit more private, hm?"

Buck turns and finds everyone including Bobby leaning on the railing upstairs, trying to overhear. Buck furrows his eyebrows and frowns at them, shaking his head - although he knows if the roles were reversed, he would definitely be doing the same thing.

He follows Tommy outside and takes a deep breath. "I'm sorry," he says sincerely.

Tommy nods, the ever-so-slight smile appearing on his face. "I know." He just looks out around them, glancing up at the sky as if trying to determine the impending weather. Buck nearly makes a joke about it, but Tommy beats him to speaking first. "I'm sorry that I walked out like that. I should have said what it was that was bothering me, but I truly needed the time to get my thoughts together."

"And that's okay. You can take all the time you need."

Tommy nods again before finally looking at Buck. "Evan, I think we both know what I'm about to say."

Buck's heart sinks to his stomach as he shakes his head. "No, I really don't."

Tommy glances over his face, frowning for a moment before fixing him with a look of... pity? "You really don't know, do you?"

Buck shakes his head, but he's pretty sure he can tell when someone is breaking up with him. So maybe he should nod, but this feels like something more than that.

Tommy puts his hands in his pockets and takes a step closer to him. "The reason I left like that wasn't because I was angry that you called me Bobby. And really, it was funny as hell given the situation."

"But?" Buck can't help but ask.

"But," Tommy continues, "It was your reaction that startled me." Buck shakes his head, confused as ever. Tommy just sighs. "Evan, you were genuinely startled by it and taken off guard. You immediately laughed it off, and I knew it was nothing. But that made me remember the other time when you said Eddie's name-"

"Which was also an accident!" Buck cuts him off, quickly, almost desperately.

The look Tommy gives Buck nearly makes him want to take the statement back. "Please, Evan. You didn't just laugh it off then, and we both know it. And we always avoided bringing it up because we both knew what happened. From the beginning, I accepted that it was only a matter of time before you figured it out."

"Figured what out?" Buck questions weakly.

Tommy pauses, seemingly debating if he's going to tell him or not. Eventually, he settles on saying, "Both times were an accident. But one was an honest mistake while the other... wasn't."

There's a moment where Buck almost brushes it off and says I don't know what you're talking about. They were both a mistake. But he can't lie to himself or Tommy anymore, and he can see the moment that Tommy registers that, expression dropping to something somber but not surprised.

"You got my attention, Evan. But whose attention was it that you were really after?" Tommy asks, slowly backing away.

"I really liked what we had!" Buck interjects before Tommy can get away.

Tommy gives him a small smile. "I did too. But we both knew it was only a matter of time." He hesitates before walking up to Buck and pressing a soft kiss on his cheek. "Goodbye, Evan. And go talk to Eddie, please."

Buck huffs out a small humorless laugh, experiencing a weird sense of deja vu. He watches as Tommy walks away and doesn't say anything in response because if he fucks up his name one more time, he doesn't think he will ever recover.

As he makes his way back into the station, he notices that most people are upstairs actually minding their own business. But then he catches Eddie watching him carefully and slowly approaches him.

"I take it that went well?" Eddie asks.

Buck chuckles and glances over his shoulder to where Eddie must've had a clear view of their conversation. "Were you watching me?"

Eddie shrugs. "I wanted to make sure you were okay."

He says it so casually yet sincerely that it makes Buck duck his head, trying to fight the blush that threatens to color his cheeks. "Yeah, I'll be okay."

"So, everything is good then?"

Buck pauses and considers what Tommy had said – go talk to Eddie. “Yeah, things are… good.”

Eddie raises his eyebrows slightly, definitely not believing Buck’s weird tone.

Buck sighs and looks down. “Okay. They’re not good. But they’re fine. We broke up- amicably! And… I’m fine.”

Eddie takes a step closer and tilts his head down so Buck looks him in the eye. “Are you sure?”

It takes a moment for Buck to process what Eddie has said- he always gets flustered when he stands this close. He wonders how he pushed it all down before. But he remembers all the pep talks he would give himself to confess things to Eddie before finding out he was seeing someone new, and all the times he was with Christopher and knew that he would do anything for the kid. Anything meaning not dating his dad and fucking up their whole dynamic. And that’s the thing about Buck, he never knows how to keep a good thing. And if Eddie were the one to leave… he thinks it might destroy him.

“I will be fine,” Buck insists and plasters on a smile. “And don’t worry, I won’t stop your and Tommy’s whole bromance thing. So don’t stop hanging out because of me.”

Eddie frowns and puts a hand on Buck’s shoulder, thumb resting on his collarbone. “You know you’re my best friend, right? Even if I’m out with Tommy, you can always call me, and I’ll be by your side in a heartbeat.”

“Even if he’s flown you to a different state?” Buck jokes.

“I’ll make him fly back even faster. Maybe even see if he can land where you are,” Eddie answers, smiling wide and sincerely. Buck laughs.

They remain there for a few moments just smiling at each other before the moment is interrupted. “Everything okay?” Bobby asks cautiously.

“It will be,” Buck says with a nod because it will be.

He just hopes it will be sooner rather than later.

-:-:-:-:-:-

Buck’s in Eddie’s kitchen the Thursday after the breakup, staring at the calendar with the dumb circle around the date. Basketball pick-up game with Tommy.

Jealousy still swirls in the pit of Buck’s stomach, and he’s no longer trying to fool himself that he’s jealous of Eddie. He never really has been, and he wonders if Eddie knows that. Because Thursdays are Eddie and Tommy’s night. Even with Christopher’s absence and Buck’s extended stays at Eddie’s, Thursdays are the nights Tommy comes over to distract Eddie from the emptiness for a while.

But tonight, Eddie asked Buck to come over and have dinner with him probably knowing Buck would’ve had the tiniest mini spiral on his own. And Buck wonders what he’s done to deserve such an amazing best friend.

He glances in the pantry, wondering if he should tell Eddie to cancel the pizza order he'll be picking up on his way home in favor of Buck making something that will distract him from his thoughts. Just as Buck picks up his phone, there's a rattling of keys in the front door that makes Buck nearly jump out of his skin as he rounds the corner until he sees Eddie pushing the door open.

"You're early," Buck states as he takes the pizza out of his hands.

"Basketball ended early today," Eddie replies easily.

Buck narrows his eyes at him because he's pretty sure the only way that's true is if basketball ended early only for Eddie. "Right."

"I'm going to shower. Find something for us to watch tonight."

As Eddie goes down the hall, Buck calls after him, "You know you don't have to baby me, right?"

"Who else am I supposed to baby with Chris gone?" Eddie yells back, knowing that Buck can't really argue with him. He only wishes he had something to throw at him in response. He really should've made some popcorn.

While Eddie quickly showers, Buck set the pizza down in the living room and grabs two beers, plates, and napkins before settling on the couch. He opens Netflix and goes to his account, knowing Eddie’s is full of romcom suggestions that he pretends to hate, and picks out a random true crime documentary that fulfills Buck’s thirst for random knowledge and Eddie’s thirst for drama.

Eddie joins him a few minutes later wearing slightly ratty sweatpants and an old t-shirt that clings to his chest and arms just right.

Buck averts his gaze before Eddie can catch him staring, although he thinks he might be too late because he sees Eddie watching him carefully out of the corner of his eye. Buck grabs the remote and presses play in hopes of distracting him, but weirdly enough, Eddie’s gaze never really seems to leave him. At one point, Buck even glances over and gives him a questioning look which Eddie answers with a shake of his head before looking at the TV only to glance back at Buck a few moments later.

When the documentary comes to an end, Buck has absorbed about none of it and he doubts Eddie has either. So instead of talking about it, he grabs their empty plates and heads to the kitchen hearing Eddie trailing behind him with their empty bottles.

“Want another one?” Eddie asks as Buck rinses off their plates.

Buck shakes his head. He has a feeling that Eddie is about to ask him how he’s doing or something, and although another beer won’t really affect his cognitive abilities, Buck rather not take any chances. Once he’s through with putting the plates in the dishwasher, he turns carefully and leans against the counter, locking eyes with Eddie who lingers by the fridge, eyebrows furrowed in thought.

“Is there something you need to talk to me about?” Eddie questions, throwing Buck for a loop.

“Me? I was going to ask you the same thing after you found me more entertaining than that documentary,” Buck jokes.

Eddie frowns and looks away from him. “I did not.”

“Tell me one thing that happened during it.” And Buck really hopes he doesn’t say anything because he wouldn’t be able to confirm it.

Luckily, Eddie stammers for a moment before sighing, “I was staring out of concern after Tommy said…”

Buck's heart drops to his stomach as Eddie trails off. “What did he say?”

Eddie pauses and crosses his arms. “He asked if you had talked to me, and I told him you told me about the breakup, but he acted like there was something more that you needed to say.”

Buck crosses his own arms to try to hide how much his hands are starting to shake.

“Is there more?” Eddie asks.

There’s a moment where Buck almost says, No. I don’t know what he’s talking about. But then he hesitates, wondering if this is it. This is his moment.

Before he knows it, too much time has passed for him to lie and say there’s nothing, so Buck lets out a deep breath and takes a seat before he does something dumb like lock his knees for too long and pass out mid-confession. He looks up at Eddie who begins leaning against the fridge, head framed by one of Chris’s tests with a big A on it.

“I never told you why we broke up,” Buck confesses. “I never even told you the truth about why we started dating.” He pauses and looks down, unable to look at Eddie’s reaction as he continues. “You know, when I met Tommy, I thought he was pretty cool with the whole flying-a-helicopter-through-a-hurricane-to-help-us-without-asking-any-questions thing. I mean. Who does that? So, yeah I asked him for a tour because I wanted to get to know the guy - as a friend.

“And then, I saw him with you,” Buck looks up at Eddie, reimagining the moment. “And you were so happy with him. Happier than I��d seen you in a while, and I knew I should’ve been happy that you got a new friend. But I was devastated. And I felt so guilty about it, especially after the whole basketball thing. I told Maddie about what happened, and she told me all about this best friend she had and how she got jealous when she got a new best friend, and I thought… that was it. As selfish as it was, I wanted to be your one and only best friend.”

Buck pauses, wondering if he should cross this line, but Eddie nods gently in encouragement, brows furrowed as he takes it all in, and Buck continues, “But that wasn’t it. And deep down, I think I knew what was really happening, and I didn’t want to admit it. So, I changed the narrative in my head a bit… I think? Honestly, things aren’t one hundred percent clear to me about how I repressed it - but all of a sudden I was so sure that I was jealous of you. That I was jealous of you hanging out with Tommy. And that’s what I told him before he kissed me, and things just progressed from there. And really, I was happy with our relationship, he was great, and he was… kind of like you. But…” he trails off, words on the tip of his tongue but unwilling to fully let them escape.

“But?” Eddie prompts so gently that Buck almost doesn’t hear it.

In one breath, Buck says, “But he wasn’t you.”

Eddie’s eyebrows shoot up so fast that Buck would find it comedic if it was in any other situation. “So, you’re saying…” Eddie asks, head cocking to the side.

“Calling Tommy ‘Bobby’ was an accident,” Buck states, uncomfortably straightening up in his chair as he prepares himself for what he’s about to say. “Calling him your name was not.” And just to put the final nail in the coffin Buck says, “And it was never his attention I was after. It was yours. I wanted you, but I couldn’t handle the thought of telling you and ruining things between us. I never wanted to jeopardize our friendship or my relationship with Chris, but here I am… doing exactly that.”

Eddie purses his lips and nods for a few long moments before turning to the fridge and opening it up, grabbing two beers, and setting them on the counter.

“I’m good, Eddie.”

Eddie shakes his head. “No, these are both for me.”

Buck feels his entire being shrink in on itself and he wonders if this is the worst rejection he’s ever felt.

“To think,” Eddie clarifies quickly, walking over to place a hand on Buck’s shoulder, thumb soothing over his collarbone. “About everything you said - which absolutely won’t ruin our relationship or your relationship with Chris. I promise. I just need a few minutes.”

And that’s all Buck needed to hear to know no matter the result of this conversation, things would be okay.

He stands up quickly, suggesting, “Why don’t I let you sleep on it?”

Eddie gives him a look mid sip that says no before he can actually say anything. “The only way you’re letting me sleep on it is if you stay the night on the couch because I’m not letting you doom spiral in your apartment.”

“I wasn’t going to…” Buck trails off when Eddie raises his eyebrows at him. “Okay, yeah, I would’ve spiraled on my own. But let me at least give you some space to think.”

Eddie nods, eyes staring off into space entirely unfocused.

Buck quietly says, “Okay,” under his breath and goes to the living room, closing the kitchen door behind him. He takes a deep breath and settles on the couch, trying to make himself comfortable but failing entirely. He takes out his phone and starts typing a message to Maddie saying this is probably crazy but remember that time you said something like whatever I had to tell Eddie I would tell him in my own time? well, guess who just found out what you meant by that and told their best friend they’re in love with them???

But then he remembers Maddie will tell Chimney and Chimney will tell Hen and Hen will tell Karen and Athena and Athena would tell Bobby and… really he does not want everyone to know he confessed his feelings for Eddie before Eddie has time to process those feelings.

Buck sighs and goes through his apps before going to Google and looking through whatever is trending in searches before going down a rabbit hole that becomes a fairly decent distraction until he thinks Man, I need to send this article to Eddie. Then he gets an achy feeling in his chest.

Quite a few minutes pass before Buck gets a sudden dry feeling in his mouth and he realizes he needs water. This is arguably the worst time to need water when the kitchen is off-limits, but he doesn’t think he could drink straight from Eddie’s bathroom sink faucet without feeling weird about it. Plus, he’s sure Eddie will understand, and he won’t interrupt his moment if he’s quick about it.

So, Buck makes his way to the kitchen, pulling the door open only to find Eddie pushing it open on the other side.

“Hey,” Buck says with a small smile.

“Hey,” Eddie responds, eyes trailing over Buck’s features as if taking them in for the first time.

A few seconds pass before Buck finally asks, “Do you mind if I get some water?”

Eddie shakes his head and steps back out of Buck’s way. But as Buck steps forward, Eddie shakes his head and says, “Wait, I’ll get it for you.”

Buck frowns, trying to interpret Eddie's body language, but he's not sure if he's ever seen him so... nervous or maybe... flustered?

As Eddie walks back to where Buck is lingering in the doorway, his eyes roam over Buck before he snaps himself out of it, shaking his head and handing Buck a glass of water. He turns and rubs his hands over his face. "Dios," he mumbles.

Buck doesn't say anything as he sips on his water, leaning against the doorframe and taking in Eddie's spiral. It's simultaneously comforting and nerve-wracking. After a few moments of silence, Buck finally asks, "You okay?"

Eddie pauses and glances up at him. Buck's almost sure that Eddie is about to lie and say he's fine, but right as he opens his mouth, he closes it and shakes his head. Buck wants to step forward and comfort him, but he hesitates, wondering if the push into Eddie's space will scare him away.

Eddie takes a few steps toward Buck, effectively making Buck feel pinned up against the doorframe. "I have been trying to replace the hole Shannon left in my life since she passed. And I've been finding all these replacements that never felt right. Hell, I found Shannon's doppelganger, and it still wasn't right. And I always thought that she was just irreplaceable. And I was right. No one will ever be Shannon, and no one will be able to replace her role in Christopher's life or what I had with her. And that’s okay. But... while I pursued all these women for the wrong reasons, I never realized that Shannon wasn't the only reason why things never worked out."

Eddie takes a deep breath and takes another step closer to Buck. "There was always this small part of me that knew that no matter what happened with my relationships, it didn't matter because you would always be there - for me and Christopher. But I never really considered that this," Eddie makes a quick motion between him and Buck, "could even be an option. And I feel..." He trails off as he stares at Buck.

"Uncomfortable?" Buck asks slightly cowering in on himself, prepared for the mental hit Eddie's answer will be.

Eddie gives him a flat look, completely shutting down all of Buck's thoughts. "Like an idiot," he states as if it's the most obvious answer. Eddie crosses his arms and takes another step toward him. "I mean, I’ve always known you were attractive. Sometimes I would wonder what it would be like to be one of your girlfriends – especially when they didn’t treat you right. I would imagine what I would do if I was them.” He runs a hand through his hair and sighs, “Hell, I used to call Ana your name often enough that Chris tried to make it an inside joke. At the bachelor party, I really should've known though because as soon as I saw you and Tommy together I felt... awful." Eddie laughs and shakes his head. "For a minute there, I was confused as hell wondering if I was suddenly homophobic."

Buck can't help but burst out laughing.

"It's true!" Eddie laughs and hits Buck on the arm. "I had to reevaluate my feelings when Karen and Hen walked in, and I became very aware that it was just a you and Tommy thing. Then, I thought maybe I was just jealous seeing you close to Tommy or maybe seeing Tommy close to you. But that didn't really make sense because I've been so excited whenever you hit it off with anyone else in my life."

"So, how did you rationalize that thought?" Buck asks, curiosity getting the best of him.

"I got blackout drunk and didn't think about it again." The answer is so immediate that Buck can't help but laugh again. Eddie smiles at him and nudges him on the shoulder. "I should say, I didn't think about it again until about half an hour or so ago"

Buck can't help but look at him a bit bashfully. "Sorry about that."

"Don't be," Eddie says, hand landing on Buck's shoulder. "Don't ever be sorry about telling me how you feel even if it sends me into an identity crisis of sorts."

Buck cocks his head to the side. "Identity crisis meaning...?"

"I might be into guys?" Eddie says more as a question than an answer, but it still makes Buck's heart skip a beat. "I'm not sure," Eddie confesses. He pauses, eyes roaming over Buck before breathing out, "I think I might just be into you."

Buck's brain lags for a few seconds as he processes what he's been dreaming about hearing practically since he met Eddie. After replaying the words in his head a few times, he can't help but ask, "Might?" But before Eddie can answer, Buck leans over far enough to set his glass down and effectively crowd into Eddie's space, "Because I know a way for us to confirm that you're definitely into me."

"Is that so?" Eddie asks, an amused smile gracing his face. The hand on Buck's shoulder slowly yet firmly travels up his shoulder to the back of his neck. "Do you want to show me?"

Buck doesn't trust any words that are about to come out of his mouth, so he lets out a shaky breath and nods, already feeling his cheeks flush and his eyelashes flutter involuntarily.

Eddie raises his eyebrows at him, and they both share a moment of this is really about to happen.

As they move closer together, Buck is sure something is going to interrupt them - like an alarm or an unwanted knock on the door.

But Buck's nose brushes against Eddie's gently, and then there's a breath shared between them before their lips connect gently.

Buck breathes in sharply, heart pounding in his chest, and Eddie responds by weaving his other arm around Buck's waist and pulling him in deeper as if he's trying to make them one whole entity. And who is Buck to deny him his wish?

Buck suddenly remembers that he also has arms which he uses to cup Eddie's face, and then he backs them up until his back is suddenly colliding with Eddie's fridge.

Eddie pulls back momentarily to make sure he's okay, and Buck laughs breathlessly before pulling him back in.

It feels like his first time on the job as a firefighter, the first time he and Eddie truly worked together as a team, and the first time he met Christopher. It feels right.

Buck smiles so wide that he has to pull away with a laugh that sounds almost like a sob, but he doesn't try to stop the happy tears that escape - especially when he sees Eddie in a similar state.

They both stare at each other in disbelief for a moment as they laugh and pull each other into a hug.

"I definitely just like you," Eddie chokes out.

Buck laughs and squeezes Eddie a little tighter.

They linger in the hug for a few moments longer than they usually would, swaying slightly. They slowly pull back to look at each other before resting their foreheads together. “This is real, right?” Buck questions quietly.

He can feel Eddie nod before he says, “It better be.”

Buck laughs softly. He pulls back and notices a faraway look in Eddie’s eyes. “You okay?”

Eddie nods and looks down. “I just wish Chris was here for this. He would probably roll his eyes at me and tell me that you were right in front of me the whole time. Or maybe he’d also feel like an idiot for not realizing that you’re all we need.”

Buck cups Eddie’s face again and redirects his gaze at him. “Hey, we’ll get to know what he thinks soon, okay? In the meantime, don’t you think it’s better that we work out all the kinks of turning what we had into something more before getting Chris involved?”

Eddie nods and laughs softly. “Of course, you already want to fix what we have before it's really begun.”

“I’m the guy who likes to fix things,” Buck says with a smile. “But I don’t think there’s much to fix here, you know?”

“Other than the years of dates, kisses, and declarations of love that I need to make up for,” Eddie comments cheesily.

Buck cocks his head to the side and feels his cheeks turning red. “Wow. Eddie Diaz is a romantic.”

“For you, I sure am,” Eddie flirts.

Buck can almost hear Christopher groaning at the line. “Declarations of love?” Buck recalls out loud.

A pinch forms between Eddie’s brows. “Yeah. You know that I love you.”

Buck frowns and tilts his head. “Really? Because I don’t think we’ve ever truly said that to each other.”

Eddie looks off as if trying to recall every moment they’ve spent together. He frowns and looks at Buck. “Another thing that should’ve made things obvious to us.” Buck laughs as Eddie smiles and grabs his shoulder. “But, just so you’re totally aware, Evan… I love you.”

“Yeah?” Buck asks with a big smile, already pulling Eddie back in for another kiss.

“Yeah,” Eddie mumbles against his lips.

A few moments later, Buck quickly pulls away and says, “I love you, too, by the way.”

“Yeah, I know.”

Buck laughs, “Good. But I’m still going to spend as long as I can proving to you that I love you more than you know. That I love you and Christopher more than you both know.”

Eddie smiles at him so sweetly that Buck almost forgets that he’s allowed to openly stare – more than that… he gets to openly stare at that smile forever. “And we’re going to do the same for you.” There’s a pause before Eddie gets a slight mischievous glint in his eye. “Just try to refrain from calling me ‘Bobby,’ okay?”

Buck sighs and rolls his eyes, pulling away to put his glass in the sink.

There’s a sudden loud chime, and a moment later Eddie gasps.

Buck turns to find Eddie turning the phone to him with a text from Christopher reading I’m ready to come home Dad. Love you.

“Scratch what we said about working out the kinks?” Buck says with a breathless laugh.

Eddie nods and kisses him. “Let’s go get our kid.”

[mewtwoandme]

(Idk if this has been asked yet but) I feel like in a world filled with beings such as Pokémon there should be a law to give human rights to Pokémon with human level or near human level intelligence. Such as making it illegal to capture said intelligent Pokémon and allowing them to use human commodities and resources such as stores and housing so long as they have money and follow the laws.

If there was ever a movie about a concept like this I would watch it in a heartbeat.

This is my own opinion, but even if some do have human levels of intelligence or even surpass that, I feel like giving them all that stuff might be a bit much?? Pokemon aren't wired the same way humans are, ya know? I don't think they'd find much use in most of the things that we use on the daily, like money or their own housing. I feel like they'd be perfectly content living with their human partners or naturally in the wild, as they do already.

The only reason Jericho is different is because he is biologically part human and has always struggled with his identity, questioning whether he fits in more with pokemon or humans. He's now come to terms with the fact that he has the best of both worlds, buuut does lean more towards a human lifestyle. Jeo's just built different...literally. And Sivith would admit that "domesticated" life has its luxuries and is peaceful, however she would have no issues returning to a life in the wild. I wouldn't be surprised if she felt a bit more at home out there then she does in a house.

Also, this talk about giving pokemon human rights...you'd think if the pokemon themselves really felt so strongly about it, they would've done something about it already, right? I mean, they have the literal power to do so. We as humans would be helpless, let's be real. They could literally start an uprising if they wanted to. They chose not to cause they don't care about having human rights. To be fair, if I was a pokemon, why would I want to pay for my own food and worry about rent, when my human partner can take care of that for me?? Free housing and free food man! XD

[eddiebabygirldiaz]

Fuck it Friday

Tagged by @honestlydarkprincess @spotsandsocks @rewritetheending @lover-of-mine @diazblunt @disasterbuckdiaz @wikiangela

Thank you my dears! Muah! 💖

Here's some more of paint sex fic which is turning out to be quite ridiculous and i don't even know what is happening anymore but there WILL be paint sex... eventually

“Just hear me out,” Buck says with a little shake of his hands, which means he is about to launch into a passionate info dump and Eddie–

Well, Eddie is in love, and Buck’s passion and knowledge about anything and everything and the sound of his voice are all on Eddie’s things I love list, so he smiles through a sigh, leans his hip against the shopping cart that is filled with dozens of other supplies for their home improvement projects, and listens intently, fondly, eagerly, as Buck details the psychological benefits of painting their bedroom dark purple.

“Studies show that this color helps slow down respiration and heart rate which makes it one of the most suitable colors for a bedroom, because it soothes you and calms you down and it is actually the most restful color for your eyes so it contributes greatly to feelings of comfort and well-restedness. And it’s such a rich and sophisticated color, often associated with luxury and royalty. But we could go with a lighter color if you want. Pale shades of purple are said to be flexible and really good for both early and late risers since those hues have both soothing and revitalizing qualities.”

As Buck talks, Eddie employs one of the skills that he is grateful he possesses: multitasking.

He watches and catalogues the way Buck moves as he talks. The way his hands flutter in between them, waving this way and that as if he is trying to illustrate each word he says, attempting to paint a picture for Eddie to see. The way his eyes go so big and round as he gets himself excited, full of an uncontainable wonder that Eddie has occasionally found himself jealous of but has always appreciated, especially when he sees the exact same shade of that wonder glowing in Chris’ eyes too. The way Buck shifts from foot to foot, going up on his toes every now and then, doing the tiniest of jumps to release the energy that is almost always filtering through his body.

It’s such a sight, one that Eddie could never tire of, more beautiful and captivating than any work of art or miracle, something like sparkling divinity embedded in every single movement, wrapping around Buck’s form in a sacred shroud that makes him glow like an eternal star whose light could never burn out.

Eddie leans his body further against the cart, appreciating the physicality of Buck and happily soaking up his incandescent aura.

No, Eddie doesn’t really believe in things like auras but Buck has always been good at making Eddie believe in things he never could have imagined and he’s in a place where he can fully embrace that and not fight against it. Something like the faith that so many churches and priests tried to instill in him finally coming alive within his soul now that he has a real and miraculous man in front of him that he can worship.

Tagging: @elvensorceress @spaceprincessem @hippolotamus @shortsighted-owl @jeeyuns @paranoidbean @bigfootsmom @jesuisici33 @devirnis @giddyupbuck @rogerzsteven @loserdiaz @monsterrae1 @buddierights @heartshapedvows @bvckandeddie @cowboy-buck @cowboy-buddie @transbuck @transboybuckley @folk-fae @fleurdebeton @butchdiaz @shitouttabuck @bucks118 @forthewolves @911onabc @diazass @roy-kents @anxieteandbiscuits (i know you are in writing jail but ily and am an attention whore soooo) and anyone else who wants to share!

[carcarrot]

highly recommend watching rocky horror if you are experiencing any form of gender crisis

[loveydoveylex]

hey, i’m actually very curious abt ur interpretation of raymans sexuality, and was wondering if u could share the reasoning behind it (no pressure to answer, just itching 2 know lol)

of course! for starters - gay, gay, homosexual, gay. I think there's something to be said about the fact that there have been multiple attempts at giving rayman a girlfriend, and yet not a single one of them has worked out. x)

ly was shown with rayman in a romantic light in one single rayman 2 wallpaper and their relationship was never even hinted at anywhere else. simonhe was completely scrapped, along with the entire raving rabbids prototype - and, y'know, maybe that was for the better, considering how racist the whole "the only black character in the cast gets enslaved" thing would've been... yikes. raynette was only present in a mural that was exclusive to the ps vita version of rayman origins and never got referenced in any other version of the game, nor has it ever been mentioned again since (and honestly, you're a terrible partner anyways if you chase your boyfriend/husband off a cliff just because he got a haircut you didn't like... 😆)

rayman with a girlfriend... just doesn't really work. it doesn't stick! and a large part of it is because romance doesn't have much of a place in the rayman games. however, I choose the path of ✨self indulgence✨ because I Can.

and for the record, since this conclusion can also be drawn from everything I've mentioned - aroace rayman is also a headcanon I love and support! I'm aroace too, after all - fictosexuality/romanticism is on the aroace spectrum. outside of Videogame Men, I am as romance-repulsed as can be. so it makes me happy to see that represented in others' interpretations of his character. :) I just personally see him as a gay man! I think he's a lil fruity.

either way, rayman is QUEER in one way or another and that is something I stand by. 🫡

[sasukeless]

just wondering aloud here but what do you think about the many negative feelings towards itachi? i mean obviously he did very bad things but i think about my siblings (and family, and friends, and loved ones) and maybe i wouldn’t go so far as to annihilate my entire clan like he did, but… i would go very far for them, i think. once someone recognizes how his betrayal and actions thereafter are out of love and duty the theme/story becomes very, very different, just mostly sad.

which is not to mention that he was a child soldier and was straight up murdering ppl before he turned ten!! at ten i was still making mud pies with dirt outside !!!!

also it’s not that deep but idk i think about the two brothers and get sad sometimes.

okay this is a really complicated because as much as i like itachi as a character i understand very well why people hate him or are critical of him.

the thing about itachi people hate is how he’s portrayed in the narrative itself. kishimoto wants the audience to view itachi massacring his family as a good and honorable thing and not as something horrific. his crime is glorified as the peak of a great shinobi and will of fire, which in the text, are put as the good side. so ofc anyone that actually stops and thinks what they are reading will go HUH?

its true that itachi was a child soldier and was groomed at 13 to do what he did but itachi dies as a grown person and STILL he never thinks of the course action he took as the wrong one. it certainly brought guilt to him killing his clan if he wanted to be killed so bad by sasuke’s hands to “right” things but until the very end he saw his clan as if they had been in the wrong for standing against konoha. and yes we can just say that’s because how deep the brainwashing went but it still doesn’t absolve him because as any grown person you have to do retrospection in your life. (sorry for using my dumb phd in star wars here as an example but take anakin. he was groomed to become evil since he was a child yet still you can’t say he’s not a villain because at the end of the day it’s him who is killing children and the movie doesn’t tell you this is good thing because he’s doing it to “save” his wife. it’s a selfish horrific act and the narrative paints it as such)

it doesn’t help that itachi as a character is a big mess in certain areas that came with him being a straight up villain in part 1 then “broken hero” in part 2. it’s true itachi chooses danzo’s way to kill their entire clan to spare his little brother’s life but the elders did not tell him to make sasuke watch that and psychologically ruin sasuke for life, and then coming back to the village and doing it again. he did that in his own accord because he selfishly wants to dictate sasuke’s actions. he was very controlling of sasuke’s life but the funniest thing is that he couldn’t see it until after he dies but people still paint these actions as good (even though in his rarest moment where he gained self awareness, he says himself he was wrong).

i don’t doubt he loves sasuke more than anything but for 99% of his arc it was a very obsessive and controlling and ruthless kind of love in which he was the one to hurt sasuke the most with the actions he committed to protect him.

i personally love and hate itachi as a character, he’s fascinating because of how fucked up he really is. i enjoy characters like that overall. and i love fucked up siblings relationships and itachi and sasuke are one that drives me crazy because the love is really there despite everything! but still i’m not blind to kishimoto’s propaganda i can see the faults in his writing and why people (me included) hate the narrative he tried to push

[icewindandboringhorror]

Everytime I face a new character limit on a website that didn't have them before/used to have really long ones... AUGHHhhh the modern social media world was not made for people like me (lovers of details, rambling, elaboration, thorough explanation, and nuance)

[katsigian]

hiiii, for the character building questions: 1,2,3,8 & 46 for Valen? 🖤

Hiii thank you so much for the ask! ♡ from this list here

1. What’s the lie your character says most often?

I think that would be "I'm not bothered by it." It's something Valen tells himself until he believes it when faced with something that does indeed bother him. It's an ability he picked up pretty early on in life and it's because of his dad, Callen. When Valen was a young kid and something would upset him, he would cry easily. Callen would kneel down in front of Valen, grab his shoulders, and tell him "What kinda VP are you going to be if you cry at the drop of a hat? You can't let everything bother you. Toughen up. Or at least pretend you're tough. Convince yourself that it doesn't bother you." So Valen did. He hardly ever cries now and part of his aloof attitude is simply because he convinces himself that he's not bothered by anything.

2. How loosely or strictly do they use the word ‘friend’?

Valen is pretty strict with his usage of 'friend'. It takes quite a bit for him to become attached to someone and he'll really only gravitate towards certain kinds of people. So until he's sure that he can trust someone and they really are who they say they are, then he'll hold off on calling someone friend. A friend to him is someone he's let into his very small inner circle and he doesn't do that very often.

3. How often do they show their genuine emotions to others versus just the audience knowing?

It depends on who he is around. Valen's emotional reactions to most things out in public are reserved. He's not completely stone-faced, though; Valen will show fairly surface level emotions around people he doesn't know in public, but keeps a lot of the bigger, deeper feelings to himself. For example, Valen goes out in the evening to pick up dinner and the person getting his food around cracks a joke about something. Valen'll chuckle along with them and if he's in the mood for it, he might continue the joke.

But, when he's safe with someone who he knows cares about him, Valen will be a little more upfront with his emotions. It took him a long time to feel comfortable showing his emotions to his loved ones, and he still sometimes has a bad habit of minimizing or simplifying them. He grew up with a father (Callen) who really only fostered certain emotions in his son; anger, disgust, devotion, disdain, contempt, rage, superiority, and love in a very twisted sense. Sadness, worry, fear, gentleness, and affection were not encouraged and sometimes were even punished if Callen caught Valen expressing them.

So, Valen had to re-learn how to show those emotions once he was free of his dad and he still struggles to this day with some of them, though he has put great effort into becoming self-aware and controlling his emotions. By that I mean he's learnt how to feel his emotions without letting them control him and he knows how to use them to his advantage. Sometimes he slips up and his emotions will get the better of him. Valen is at his most volatile when his control breaks and his actions become fueled by emotion.

8. How loose is their use of the phrase ‘I love you’?

About as loose as a bolt that's been rust-welded onto a 50 year old nut. Valen does not use the term loosely, though that's not to say that he doesn't love anyone. Valen loves very deeply and there's many people that he does love more than himself. His husband is at the top of that list. It also holds Vesper, Vega, Reid, Nikita, Noel, Ilya, and so on. Valen loves them enough that he'd be willing to kill and die for them. He just struggles to say that out loud. It eventually becomes easier for him, but Valen is much better at expressing that love through actions. He's a guard dog, he's happiest when he's acting in service to someone he loves. Valen submits to the people he loves in the same way that guardian dogs submit to the sheep they protect. That's how you'll know he loves someone.

46. Are they a listener or a talker? If they’re a listener, what makes them talk? If they’re a talker, what makes them listen?

Valen is very much a listener most of the time. He much prefers to attach himself to people who can do enough talking for the both of them. But that's not because Valen is shy or socially inept, far from it. He's fully capable of chatting with strangers and doesn't get anxious in public. He's just introverted and has spent most of his life observing and listening as means to stay one step ahead of other people. Valen works in fields where being reserved and vigilant is more important than being chatty.

Even when he's not working or actively involved in gang work, Valen still lets his talkative counterparts take the lead. He's more than happy to let his chatty husband or chatty brother do all the talking to strangers while they're out and about.

That being said, Valen will get more talkative when he's around people he loves and focusing just on them. For example, when he and his husband are at a restaurant and they've sat down, then he's happy to chat because it's just him and his husband. Or, if he's in a group of people he's comfortable with he'll become more chatty. He just needs to feel comfortable around the people he's with for him to turn to talking and joking rather than observing.

[fiorserpen]

@designedparadigm

agatha doesn't have much faith in dating apps when it seems most are in it for hookups and not real relationships. still, her friends insisted she put herself back out there if she actually wanted to find someone to be with. they argued it was better and easier than being a hopeless romantic and waiting for the right person to simply come into her life one day. she is a hopeless romantic, though, but she wants to be little more hopeful about it instead. agatha has had a few successful and a handful of unsuccessful first dates, none of which went anywhere. it tempts her to delete the app from her phone, but... oh, just one more chance can't hurt, right?

with the shop empty at this current moment, agatha leans against the counter, looking through tinder while she has this little bit of free time. there were a lot of handsome guys and pretty women, of course, but none that strike her fancy until she comes upon one profile that stops her swiping all at once. cash forscythe, hm? she looks over his profile, scrolling through the little obligatory biography and his likes and interests and what he hopes for from someone. agatha scrolls back up to look through his pictures. he's really cute, isn't he? tall, handsome, and quite the dazzling grin. she takes the chance and swipes right on cash's profile before setting her phone aside to help a customer that came into the shop.

once that was all over, she checked her phone to see cash had swiped right on her profile as well, blinking in surprise at the message he sent her. her features soon relax and a smile forms on her lips.

> well, hi to you, too! 😊 and i'm rarely deterred by appearances, especially when you're very handsome! > i suppose i might also be a bit surprised you swiped right on me, i wasn't sure i'd be your type

[flowersandbirdsflyingfree]

Hiii ✨️ Your reply from my post got me really curious about headcanons for my self ship and I feel like I really need a kick back into posting all my drafted f/o posts...

Primis Dempsey is the absolute love of my life, and I was wondering what sort of hcs you had? I also want to come up with a new ship name, but I'm stumped thus far heh..

Sending big hugs 🩷✨️

- 🌾

Angel, I’ve got just the thing! I’m glad you’re back and I’m sending big hugs and lots of love to you💖💖💖

But FIRST!

A short little name brain storm

Guns and Roses

Bowie-Winged Butterflies (bowie knife btw, not the 80s singer)

Poppies and Primroses

Gun-Slinging Sweethearts

I hope these few can help, even if it helps the brainstorm have a clearer idea of what feels right.

Headcanons for you and Primis Tank:

Ohhh my GOSH. Every time Tank looks at you, it’s like a sense of pure wonder completely mesmerizes him. Smitten is an understatement

As a marine, his training and combat experience shook him down to experience constant hyper vigilance. Just your very presence helps him feel grounded again.

You have such an ethereal beauty to you! Not just in the way you naturally glow, but the way you dress yourself is just so gorgeous and so classy! You have him like moth to a flame. Tank can’t help but kiss you from head to toe every chance he gets

You’re that special someone who’s graced him with gift of tenderness that he’s secretly starved for. For that, he’s eternally grateful. He expresses this most through quality time and physical affection the most

I feel like he would give you one of these cheesy Valentine’s just to make you smile

“Yeah, I know it’s dorky. But it made you smile!”

You might be a badass belle of your own, but Tank’s still going to feel the need to protect you. If anyone bothers you, he’s immediately up to bat against anyone and anything. Hell, he’d threaten to punch the dirt if you stepped on a rock. The man is incredibly devoted to helping you

Dempsey has a lot of depth to him. Only you ever had the chance to really know that. The battles he’s willing to fight for you extend past outside conflicts. You are never too much. You are worth more than every star in the galaxy.

“Remember when I said we’d fight side to side, back to back? I meant that from the bottom of my heart. We’re a team. And I’m willing to do whatever the hell it takes to keep you safe. You’re the woman I want to love ‘till the day I die. No matter what happens, I promise to protect you.”

Some songs for your ship: You I Need by Amorphis, Doe Eyes by Sophie Woodhouse, and No Other Love by Jo Stafford

He’s very easy going whether you want to go somewhere or stay curled up together at home. Fun dates include (but are not limited to 😉): picnic dates, walking along the beach shoreline, a trip to the shooting range, aquarium visits, shopping together, and so much more.

In his top left pocket is his mother’s blueberry pie recipe to remember her by. I can see you both working together in the kitchen to make it together! Kneading the dough, teaching him what to do, having him slow dance with you while waiting for it to bake. It’s one of his most cherished memories.

Tank lets you steal his leather jacket to wear often. In a modern AU where he’s a drill sergeant, he makes sure you help keep it safe while he’s off to work.

When you two snuggle in at night, you get to rest safe in the marine’s embrace. He softly strokes your hair while you rest your head on his chest, softly conversing until one of you fall asleep first.

Tank daydreams with you about what it’d be like running away to a cottage home. Coming home to that sweet smiling face of yours every day, tending to the garden, escaping the bustle of the world. One of these days, he’s gonna make that dream a reality for you both.

[h-a-unted]

If you don't mind me asking!! With your portrayal of the Reacher brothers, is there a piece of media you tend to lean towards / favour when it comes to them, out of the show or the books? Or do you like to take bits & pieces from each? Do you prefer the first book / books you've read so far or do you prefer the show? Or are both good?

I mostly lean towards the show, but the books have given me a few details that haven't been explored on the show yet, so I mix and match. But it's mostly just show stuff, for my portrayal. My Reacher is definitely heavy on the series rather than his book portrayal because I do prefer how they've made him on the series and how Alan Ritch.son evokes him, so I try to match that, mainly.

I think the books are okay. I wouldn't say they're bad since I'm actually finishing reading the first one (and I read one of the short stories quick) as opposed to what I always did which entailed leaving books unfinished or not reading them at all, so that's something. Granted, I've only read a few stuff, so as I continue reading, I'll see if I change my mind, but for now... at least the first book (and short story) is not as good to me as the show itself, it's simply okay and I enjoy seeing the differences and laughing at some silly stuff. I've also felt quite bad for Reacher in some parts, and deeply annoyed and confused in others, lmao. But I do appreciate the books since, without them, there would be no show, of course. And Lee Chi.ld is producing the show, so he himself is making sure the show is great, his magic is there.

By far, my favorite is the show. The actors are amazing, the plot is handled in such a fun, interesting way, the action scenes are so cool, and mostly, they're not afraid to make the op character flawed and not always have the upper hand. I like it when Reacher is challenged. I love when Reacher is cocky or sure about something and he turns out to be wrong, but I also love when he is right because it doesn't feel like the narrative wants him to be right, he just simply is or isn't. They've managed to make me like an op character, because they've given him a balance most op characters unfortunately don't have (which makes me not like them at all, they're the type of character I hate in a series, usually).

I think the first book (and short story) is a victim of making Reacher right for the most part, or wrong on small stuff only. All of the fights are a little anticlimactic because he doesn't get in that much trouble. So I don't believe him when he says he is pressured. He is basically the one and only star of the first book, whereas, comparing the first season that adapts the same book, the show highlights everyone, gives them a chance to shine and help. Everyone feels rounded, interesting, I got attached to most of them with ease. Can't say the same about them in the 1st book, unfortunately... Plus, their relationships with Reacher are either rushed or so lackluster? It's something.

Anyway, tl;dr I love the show, so I lean towards it. So so so good.

[sams--journal]

Just because people aren't always able to help, does not make you or your needs a burden. Sometimes people have conflicting needs, especially with multiply disabled households and that's okay, and that does not make you or the other person bad and does not make you incompatible. reach out for help from multiple sources and people, maybe something one friend absolutely cannot help you with will be something another friend can and this can even change day-to-day

You are never a burden for having needs. And others are never bad for being unable to meet certain needs sometimes. And even then you deserve to have those needs met. Even if that means trusting more than one person with those needs, because no one can do everything. But I promise it will be okay, I promise your friends love you and your disability even when they need to step back, and I promise you are never a burden. No matter how much or how little help you need or if the help you need is not obtainable right this second, it's a hard thing to balance, but no matter what you are not a burden, you are a person worthy of care and respect

[idk if I explained any of this right but just some hard positivity I've been trying to learn, sometimes disability is complicated especially when multiple peoples accommodations conflict. And sometimes it can get frustrating when everyone's needs are not being met or /cant/ be met because both people are disabled. its hard, its frustrating, its complicated but it does not make you a bad person for having needs.

One important note: Its completely valid for a friend, partner or family member to need a break and not be able to meet someones needs all the time. This same thing does /not/ apply to legal or assigned medical caretakers to the same extent. Some jobs require someone to absolutely meet all or at least most of your needs, especially if there are contracts or payments. Someone can be removed from your case if they genuinely cant handle everything, but they cant continue working with you if they cant fully help you. There is a difference between asking another disabled friend for help and asking a professional for medical support]

[alwaysmanages]

What do you think Little my's relationships with the other characters are? Like her friends and the moominparents.

Hey there! Thanks for asking, and that's a good question because I know I don't put nearly enough attention towards the rest of the crew.

Ok so before I get into this I need to preface that while I'm basing my thoughts off of a variety of Moomin sources, it's not all gonna align with canon because I'm also mixing in a bunch of stuff that 6+ years of writing and headcanoning for this little lady has built that just feel good to me. But anyway, here goes.

Moomin Parents

As much as I love the Mymble's character, and how I'm sure she loves her children in her own way, being adopted by the Moomin parents (in the comics and Moominvalley) is by far the best thing that's ever happened to Little My. Through Moominmamma especially, she is given the love and attention that a girl like her needs to grow up healthy, and with enough space to level out that anger inside of her. In their care, she feels seen, safe, and secure in the family, and she knows they would never leave her behind. A little more on Moominpappa, I think it's interesting to give her a father figure when she never really had one before. She knows his stories are a load of bull, but will humor him because dangit does he spin a good tale. It's a bit hard to pin their relationship, because on one hand she can be a pest to Pappa, but I like to think she warms up to that silly old man and anytime he acts especially fatherly towards her, she feels a little warm inside (she probably thinks she's getting sick).

I think her relationship with Moominmamma and Moominpappa mean a lot more to her, personally, than her relationship with her biological mother. I don't think she feels resentment towards the Mymble, but she does realize that that wasn't a home where she could grow up in.

Moomintroll

That's her adoptive/foster brother right there. She took the role of annoying sister pretty quickly with him and it pisses him off so much at the beginning (I mean can you blame for having been an only child prior to her?). Gradually, I think he learns to appreciate her companionship over time as her harsh truths are more like the heavy blows of a hammer to a slab of metal on an anvil. Like the elder sister she is, Little My is another influence on Moomintroll's character. She loves him enough to give him a swift kick in the teeth when he needs it, but he's also the sibling she can bully a bit.

Snorkmaiden

Pulled mostly from MV and the 90s anime, I like to think they're good friends. I headcanon Little My to be on the aroace spectrum, but the Little Maiden/Snorkmyden ship can be cute and is probably one of the non-canon ships I find really sweet if done right. For the most part though, because Little My is more on the rougher side as opposed to Snorkmaiden's more gentle nature, I think they can have very funny interactions where occasionally they trade off on who gets to endure the other's antics. Maybe Snorkmaiden teaches My how to be a little more comfortable with a bit of femininity, and My teaches Snorkmaiden how to throw a strong left hook.

Sniff

Kind of going off of the 90s anime more because I really like their back and forth banter and I don't recall them having a relationship as strong in any other adaptation. I don't think their differences are as stark a contrast as Sniff and Snufkin, but I do feel like Little My watches Sniff get up to his get-rich-quick schemes and rolls her eyes. She thinks his endeavors are silly, but she's not above joining in if it sounds fun. At the end of the day, despite their differences and their bantering, they're still good friends who laugh at the same stupid jokes (even if that joke is each other). I'll also say that I really loved the episode in Tanoshii Mumin Ikka s2 where Sniff faces heartbreak and his friends are there to snap him out of it. My chasing him around just to get him to laugh and have fun again was so sweet.

Snufkin

Dunno if you wanted me to include him because I feel like I talk about their relationship more than anyone else, but he is part of her circle of friends so it'd feel weird to exclude him. I recognize that in canon, they're not as close in a sibling relationship as, say, My and Mymble Jr. or My and Moomintroll. In fact, according to The World of Moominvalley, they didn't even know they were siblings during Moominsummer Madness. I think the only time it's ever covered in canon is the slight mention in Moominpappa's Memoirs where Snufkin is coming to realize he's related to the Mymble and therefore Little My is his sister. It doesn't get deeper than that (and it's frustrating as hell). So Snufkin has gone most of his life not knowing he had a family, nevermind a big sister; meanwhile, Little My has so many siblings that finding another one in the wild probably doesn't faze her. My point is, I get why their relationship isn't explored much in canon adaptations, but that doesn't make it less important to me. Even though you could say they started out as siblings after Snufkin was born, you could also say they didn't consciously know each other until they were much older, and at that point they were friends before they were siblings. Being friends with your sibling is a very defining factor for Little My, because among her horde of siblings, how many can she say is someone she'll willingly hang out with and consider an equal? And for Snufkin, who's probably overwhelmed learning he not only has parents, but A PLETHORA of siblings, it's a relief to learn that he at least has one he gets along well with. So I'd like to think in post-learning they're related, there's a bit of awkwardness on Snufkin's part in figuring out how differently he's supposed to treat a sibling as opposed to a friend, but eventually they figure out that what they had was fine enough and learning that they're siblings is just another building block to an already solid relationship. She doesn't bully him as much as she does with Moomintroll, but occasionally they have their playful jabs and it's hilarious.

I love her relationships with the valley folk. They really shaped her into the well-rounded person she is and teach her what it's like to have a family that will love and support her. Because really, no matter the relation, they're all part of her found family.

[daily-selfship-questions]

its a bit petty, but i sometimes feel a bit left out of the community bc nearly every prompt/imagine post i see assumes the reader's f/o is taller than them... meanwhile mine is shorter than me. but then again, i guess our height difference is pretty extreme anyways. being from a fantasy race that doesnt get more than a foot tall will do that to ya, i guess.

Apologies for the wait to answering this, anon!

I completely understand this. There's a lot of prompts for taller F/Os or F/Os that are around the 6ft mark. I purposely try and make my posts as inclusive as possible for people regaurdless of their appearance, orientation, identity, or disabilities, and I try to do the same for F/Os as well, and make prompts that could work for any F/O regaurdless of reasons listed above, but also in case they aren't human and are a robot, monster, have super powers, or just a but inhuman in some way.

Not every post may be perfect, but I do try to make mine as open as possible for anyone and their F/O(s). Heck, I state every post with F/O(s), in case whoever is reading is has just one or has several F/Os. I try not to make them only romantic centered so there's room for familial/platonic F/Os, but there are some souly romantic ones occasionally.

Though, I do empathize with you anon, and having to struggle to find imagine posts for you and your F/O.