#sorry in advance if i delete it later :') ill try not to

[nerime]

a quick huevember piece cause i needed a warmup to try to finish my zine piece :')

[thedogeveryonehates]

I just had my first ever adult-y 'im sorry but we can't be friends anymore' conversation and it really sucked and it really hurt and I'm writing it down here bcus i feel awful🫠

Long story

So we met on the dating apps years ago and we've kept in contact ever since cause he's genuinely a sweet & cool guy. Also, he was hard of hearing and would teach me cool indo sign language stuff

He lives in another city and only visits occasionally for work reasons but whenever he stopped by we would hang out

Back then it would be hanging out and hooking up but ever since i met my bf he wanted to make it clear that the latter was off the table since he wasnt comfortable with it

The next time we met I had to explain to him that I was no longer in the market for a partner, but I really valued his friendship - trying my best to show that I didn't wanna lead him on if that was the case

Even though he said he understood, it really didn't seem that way over the next few months

We would be having normal conversations and catching up on whatsapp and he'd randomly say "so you don't have feelings for me?" or "what did i do wrong?" - and it really made it awkward like we were literally discussing our spotify albums 2 minutes ago what happened

The worst part is, he would ask these questions very genuinely and sometimes follow up on these questions. So then I would match the tone as best i can - only to get the response "haha yeah i was joking i already know haha". Whenever it happened i would laugh it off and look stupid

But the final straw happened a few hours ago. He was feeling flirty but i was tired so i said to try and find a casual hookup on the dating app. He's genuinely really handsome and he's always been popular on the apps so i said it shouldn't be hard for him and that he'd find someone within the hour

He then straight up LIES to me and says that he deleted the apps a few weeks ago, following that up by writing "you are more than enough"

Afraid that he thought i was leading him on or sending him signals, i tried to shoot that down as fast as possible. Basically going through the motions of rejecting someones advances as respectfully as i possibly could to a good friend i cared about

After a few grueling minutes of silence, he hits me with the "damn i wasnt being serious" and sends me a screenshot of the app still on his phone (full of unread notifications - remember: popular)

Fast forward an hour later and ive blocked him everywhere except instagram dms, where i told him that i needed some space

Yes he apologized profusely and yes i accepted his apology but i just got so stressed and humiliated that I couldn't take it anymore

I still feel awful

This is usually something i would vent to my boyfriend but he's asleep rn so ill just let my [tumblr] mutuals know and probably delete it when i wake up

Writing kinda makes me feel better it turns out

[every1sno1fangirl]

I think it can still be accurately described as a 'farm' but that isn't...bad, per say? At least when it's well-done in the Zounose way. Because our world is no different: you and I are living in a farm (or a prison if you prefer that terminology) right now. We've just convinced ourselves of or conceptualize it as something else.

I would say Gensokyo and its citizens are more 'free' despite that being more literal, simply because of what you mentioned about it Trying to be Good, despite the natures of all involved.

I also don't think it actually is hostile to human nature even. Human nature likes being responsible for its own upkeep in a tangible way. Human nature likes excitement and sense of community. Human nature likes to wonder and imagine. Gensokyo certainly accomplishes those things better than our modern world could, even if it has its own downsides. It's something that shows up constantly in the Hifuu stories as well, how those aspects of human nature are either completely stifled and forgotten or misappropriated entirely. Which makes sense since their world is just ours, But More. Both societies are wholly artificial constructs and all of the people within them can only act as their nature allows them to within its constraints. And yet Gensokyo is explicitly a place where those humans from the Outside World who chafe against the boundaries of their world and are outcasts within it can thrive. Either as a brief touch with the supernatural that calls out to their inner spirit and is kept with them for the rest of our lives, or as a place they escaped to entirely, where they now live in. (Or some weird mix between the two like Sumireko who is outcasted—but still welcomed albeit for vastly different reasons—in both.)

And I think a lot about how the Tengu secretly protect the village from natural disasters like typhoons and how even if you take that at its most uncharitable, it still shows a genuine amount of care for other denizens within it in a very realistic way. Despite being inhuman monsters Youkai still don't /want/ to see dead people. (See also: the Spellcard rules being adapted by seemingly everyone quickly and wholeheartedly to turn their disputes into extremely weird kayfabe).

And I think that is where a lot of stories fuck it up. By portraying this relationship as something wholly vicious and predator vs prey or 'naturalistic' or primitive or whatever. Because nothing about Youkai are 'natural'. Youkai—even Beast Youkai—aren't natural. They're /super/natural. And the supernatural is just humankind trying to understand and explore the objective world around them through their subjective perception of it. It ceases to exist when humankind decides to deny this entirely through pure solipsism and self-denial, as is the case in the future (and increasingly in our own world too) where so much of the objective world is understood and known that the worldview wraps back around to everything being 'subjective' instead. (And only in that constraint of their worldview as well—despite everything supposedly being subjective fantasy is written off as pure nonsense because material stuff is just material stuff. Everything is Known.) But the supernatural is something that we love and is something that loves us in turn, no matter how weird and unsettling or strange it may be. Vampires are horrifying (and cheesy) creatures of the night that remain entrenched in our stories and fiction nonetheless. Echoes are nothing more than soundwaves bouncing back at us, but we still shout "Echo!" and giggle to ourselves.

In the words of a friend of mine, "The series is just about how cool it'd be if there really were magical foxgirls running around."

gensokyo's charm point is that it's not so much scary as just kind of weird and unsettling, really. if it's actively hostile then it reduces the like... the good will, i suppose, towards the setting. it's almost crucial that it's not merely trying but succeeding to be good, and that part of that Being Good is that most of the youkai are basically just doing what kogasa does but being better at it bc they all have knives

also the zounose approach works but you have to Commit to it and honestly i've only ever seen zounose commit to it in the right way

[todayisafridaynight]

THEY TURNED OUT AMAZING I'M JUST SAD TO HAVE MISSED OUT </3 I knew I'd miss a stream sooner or later but still... owwie... However, that meant I got to be pleasantly surprised (<- understatement) by the pose you chose for Jo CHRIST ☠️ Unbuttoning his shirt does pass for a Slut Moment when it comes to him though I can't lie...

And OBVIOUSLY. AS YOU CAN SEE. I love the Arakawa <33 the red background fucks soooo hard with the blood... definitely my new favorite screenshot as well... SO EXCITED to see Mellow Sawashiro and Sicko Arakawa... they saw us saying he was too wholesome to be menacing and this was their answer... hope you don't mind me using it as my icon btw I know you used to say in your about it was fine to do whatever with credit... but you don't anymore... so I'll get rid of it if you want, sorry for not asking in advance!

Anyway crying at this recreation of The Last Supper I can't claim to know the significance of any of it but Jo and Kiryu (Joryu... if you will...) look so fucking GOOFY not to mention ANY OF THE REST

fomo is real and it's out there.. can't attend EVERY stream- truly is funny that tihis instance i actually got stuff done LMAO oops. BUT there's always next time :) where hopefully ill finish something again <:) OH BUT YEAH LMAO i was going to be boring at first and just do a headshot but i wanted to try and explore the like. .2% more Not Clinically Depressed energy he was givin so... skank behavior 😔

IM GLAD YOU LIKED THE ARAKAWA THO i actually ended up redoing the lineart after stream... i was so particular bout how i wanted it to look and even now im still scratchin my chin on how i coulda done some things BUT IT'S COOL I'MA LEAVE IT. rgg found me talkin shit and wanted to retaliate with murderous arakawa but little did they know thats all i wanted !!!!!!! FOOLS. im so excited... finally got the chance to draw arakawa murderous after a year of wanting to do so..

OH AND OFC id be more than honored to let you use it as a pfp ♪(´▽｀) !! i coulda sworn i DID have that in my bio but i guess i deleted it by accident: time to add it again lol

the last supper recreation's SUUCH a cute pic, and even if kiryu's Presumably tellin sawashiro to cool it, it's nice seein jo in a Vaguely Casual setting for once (❁´◡`❁) he's not healing i think he's getting worse but for now i'll believe he's healing (❁´◡`❁)

[yanbub]

them as your online crush

— includes: diluc, xiao, and childe x gn!reader

— genre + warnings: pure crack. cw: some of my headcanons on the pronouns of the characters included, tho its all for jokes dont take them srsly.

— note: hi im alive 🤗 not completely back but i just wanted to write this ,,, please reblog if you've enjoyed ! it helps me a lot <3 kinda based from what happened 2 me lately so ig based from experience LOL. unedited and not proofread and this is very messy zzz sorry in advance for errors n whatnot

diluc ;

literally your local he/him with handsome (aka formal) typings on the internet. he can literally just say “hello :)” and get SO MUCH clout. he doesn’t even have to try to be some random clout chaser, he automatically gets clout just for being a he/him.

he seemed cold at first but the more you get to know him, he wasn’t that bad. his handsome typings didn’t even seem cold anymore, it’s just how he really types to anyone anywhere.

he’s so caring even if you just text each other like. what the hell? and you found him intimidating of all things… it’s rare to see him crack a joke online but he actually cracks a few with you (woah special treatment wish all)

nothing much to say, he just sounds hot when he types and he’s a green flag because he’s really caring and nice. so who wouldn’t even crush on him?

xiao ;

another he/him. gets more clout than diluc. probably one of those “he/him, 16”s that you see on twitter or something. he can just say “hello tl” and get more than 10 replies.

PLEASE the way he types sometimes is lowk scary but there's no ill intention to them. he just sounds mad everytime he types. i have no idea why, he just does.

is actually some fun guy to talk with, you’d never regret a moment with him <3.

light banters here and there probably, he literally does personal attacks when he gets the chance istg 😭. he’s also a slight jokester… just slight. it’s either his jokes would suck or they would be funny.

commitment issues so you’d probably hesitate to crush on him in the first place, crush material with caution !! stay safe

jokes aside, he’s the type who’d defend you on twitter of all places. probably would waste time sitting on one spot and is arguing with strangers online over something they accused you of idk.

HE’S JUST NICE OK scary at first but really nice to hang out with yeaaaa

childe ;

literally the reason why i did this post LMFAOOOO

enemies to lovers on the internet, yall fight so often like what the actual fuck is up

also another one who does personal attacks to make you lose, foul move, honestly.

for some reason people think you’re dating, but in truth you’re just friends. you two are so close so maybe that’s why ppl thought of that.

it’s normal for most to see you two arguing, especially when they see you and childe telling the other to deactivate as a joke. fighting is basically how you interact…

if you act nice to him once he’ll probably ask if you got possessed or something similar to that LMFAO. but he’ll act nice back !! he knows when to joke or not.

doesn’t like labels so you hesitate on crushing on him 😂👍

your dms is either filled with you two telling the other to deactivate or just random drama spilling.

no because he sometimes do those handsome typings too </3 if you tell him you’re doing something he’d always remind you on it. (for example: “SHUT UP im taking a test can u please bully me later instead 😁😁” “oh, do your exam first. just talk to me later” (as if he wasn't telling you to delete ur account a few moments ago))

idk what to say atp uhm yea he’s a different breed than the other two LOL

[theintrovertbean]

Hi! Do you have any rules for requesting like thinks you will not do, I want to make a request but sometimes people don't feel comfortable writing about it , thanks in advanced for the answer 🥴💫

-🦭

Hi, Anon! You are very sweet for asking about this. I'll try my best to sum up things.

The stuff I will not write:

Anything that promotes discrimination (homophobia, transphobia, racism, sexism, etc.)

Characters that are any other species than humans (wolves, creatures with tentacles, etc.) Vampires, I might consider I grew up watching Twilight

Violence, pedophilia, zoophilia, animal abuse, body shaming, sexual harassment/sexual assault

Character death

Characters that are not Nadia. Sorry, I haven't read the other routes, but I might do it later. For now, this blog worships only one Goddess. (It does not mean that a character can't appear for a scene or a few sentences. Like, Portia can totally enter Nadia's room during a scene to take out the teacups or something.)

Things I will consider:

Smut. I spent my entire teenage years reading NSFW content, and I have written smut before (I'm actually writing some Nadia smut right now, idk if I'll ever post it), but it's just ehh. I'm trying, but my smut is boring as hell. Still, if someone has a request, I can try, but I can't promise anything. Spicy headcanons are more than okay. Of course, sex should always be consensual, so please, ask according to that. NSFW topics will definitely take a little longer to write. I ask for your patience.

Serious topics. There are certain things like mental illnesses, nightmares, etc. If the request promotes healing and personal growth, then I will do it. Just look at my Do you ever feel lonely? series. Think of something like that.

I mostly write about gender-neutral reader/MC, but they can be any gender. They are always at least 18 years old. I do not wish to promote any hate or hurt anyone.

I'm a human too, so please, keep things civilized. Saying thanks is always nice. If a request is well, troublesome, I will probably just delete it.

I might add some more stuff later.

Thank you, Anon! Have a lovely day!

[otp-holic]

Will this be the night? (ALSO IN A03)

A random piece of online advertising unleashes some movie memories of a Summer afternoon in 1932

1.5 Ks Fanfic + Pictures Inside. Part of the Never let us lose what we have gained series (AO3) Silly drabble born from my love of classic movies... that ended up not having anything to do with classic movies.

BROOKLYN'S KING'S THEATRE

Poster for Cary Grant's Retrospective. Printed paper 2025.

A poster for the upcoming month long celebration of the movies of Cary Grant to be held in Brooklyn.

Bucky is not expecting a vivid memory of the past to jump at him from a piece of online location-targeted promotion popping on his phone as he and Steve are wandering around the neighborhood on a random Friday.

But the 21st century works in mysterious ways and Google is kindly inviting him to check “Cary Grant: A Celebration”, a month-long chronological retrospective of all his movies taking place at a nearby hipster cinema starting… in half an hour.

He beams as a long string of memories of the both of them in different afternoons and movies plays in his head; how they counted the cents for the admission price, and how Bucky learned to sneak into the movie every time that did not add up to two full tickets.

“Buck, you’ve been smiling at your phone in silence for a whole minute,” Steve interrupts his daydreaming. “Should I be jealous? Worried?”

“Sorry,” he answers, still smiling about the memories. “I think I’m leaving you for Google, they see inside my one hundred years old soul; But I might give you another chance if you don’t mind a change of plans for the afternoon.”

“Lead the way, but can you give me some heads up?” Steve chuckles, more than used to Bucky’s ways.

He takes Steve’s hand to direct them towards the movie theatre and thinks about how much information he wants to share.

Although he is the one who still relies on the comfort of 30s and 40s movies whereas Steve keeps getting bolder with his options, Steve has always loved Cary Grant and Bucky thinks he’s going to appreciate his choice since this particular movie has a history (sad history, maybe) for them, so he debates on whether to tell him or not.

“We are going to the movies. But the real ones, not that shit on Netflix you keep choosing,” he settles for half-disclosure.

“Damn, mister life in black and white strikes again. Embrace the 21st century, Barnes, I think you’ll like it!”, Steve laughs.

“Hey, I embrace it more than you do! At least I look the part of a mid-thirties man from it instead of a fifty-year-old hiding in fucking khakis. Albeit a very hot one, I’ll give you that.”

They both laugh. It’s not the first time these remarks fly between them and having a routine, running jokes, and running pet peeves is very soothing after everything they have gone through.

They’re getting closer to the cinema now, and Bucky can already see the Billboard announcing the retrospective and a small queue forming upfront. He takes a side look at Steve to see if he has noticed and he can certainly tell that his curiosity has peaked.

“Surprise! Call it a win-win, it might be up my alley, but you used to love Cary Grant movies,” Bucky smiles as they reach their place in the queue and glance at the program for the afternoon.

‘This is the Night (1932)’, the poster says, ‘Cary Grant's feature film debut on the big screen’

Bucky is deep in nostalgia, remembering a summer day of 32 when they were waiting in line for the same film and how the evening turned out, but when he looks in search of his partner’s reaction, it’s not what he expected at all.

“Steve, you ok?” he asks, worried at seeing Steve frozen in place.

Steve nods. His whole face is deep red, but at least he is responsive. He looks ashamed and Bucky is shifting from worried to curious.

“Jesus, this movie,…” he chuckles now.

“You seem to remember, then. I thought you might.”

It was not a happy memory: Steve had felt really ill halfway through, looking white as a sheet of paper and about to die on Bucky. They had to leave the unfinished movie and run home, as per Steve’s request. But as far as Bucky remembers, nothing to be ashamed of.

“Why are you acting weird? Oh my god, Steven, are you allergic to this movie?”

The silence before Steve answers is a little too long and the queue moves forward.

“Shit, this is not easy to say and I’m sorry in advance.”

“Duly noted, but could you try to explain? I’m lost and I didn’t expect a full-on confession of something to be sorry about when I decided to follow Google’s intelligent advice to an unfinished movie. I just thought it was a good excuse for a change of plans. And kind of closure.”

Steve takes a breath and starts talking.

“I wasn’t honest with you, Buck. Back then…” he stops, searching for words, nervously musing on his beard. “Ah, I cannot believe this hasn’t come up at some point, but there it goes. I absolutely lied to you that day: I wasn’t sick or half dying and I am very very guilty of using my poor health to run away from that place and that movie, but I did the only thingI could think of.”

Bucky is at a loss for words, he’s still deciding if he is angry, curious, or somewhere in between.

“But… but you were feverish and white as a ghost and you said you had palpitations!”

Steve seems to think for a moment again and the bastard laughs so loud they get a curious look from the people behind. And taking advantage of the queue moving up again, he gets really really close to Bucky who honestly thinks he’s going to try to kiss himself out of the situation since it’s a bulletproof strategy.

But he doesn’t: He goes for Bucky’s ear instead, and whispers.

“I had a boner like you wouldn’t believe.”

Bucky gasps loudly totally taken aback while Steve takes a step back and looks at him in the eye more amused and hungry than ashamed, but still blushing.

“But hey, not all lies! I was somehow sick. And pale since my blood was… otherwise occupied. And I was barely 14!”

Bucky laughs at the dork. His dork. But the information is still making its way into his brain.

“Oh my God,” he exclaims as it starts to settle, “You piece of shit, you pulled the poor sick child card when you were just plain horny. I was worried to my bones as we run to your home. Shame on you Rogers!”

“Me? It was your fucking fault! Yours and Cary Grant’s and your stupid grins and stupid chins, those clefts!” he’s screaming in whispers so Steve Rogers’ teenage boner doesn’t make it to the news, but he’s talking as if he was pronouncing an important speech to the UN, “What was a 14-year-old in the fucking 30s popping one upon seeing an actor who kind of looked like a very tall version of his very male best friend to do?”

He is about to say something, but Steve literally covers his mouth with one hand giving Bucky no other option but to stick his tongue and lick the palm.

“Gross, Buck. I’m not done!”, he dries his hand on Buckys’ shirt before he goes on. “I’m not done because as I was still processing all that, you kept brushing your goddamned hand with mine when you went for popcorn! Over and over and over. It was torture. I have palpitations now just thinking about it.”

Bucky full-on laughs. One of those real ones that come more and more lately and that he honestly thought he would never get to experience again.

They have reached the box office, so he doesn’t push it further. For now.

“Two tickets for `This is the Night´, please.” Bucky smiles at the box-office guy. “He is paying, tho. I paid last time we tried to see this one and he didn’t have the decency to stay until the end.”

He actually feels like a teen as Steve takes his hand into the theatre, as he very intentionally buys popcorn to share, and as they start full-on making out on their seats during the commercials once the lights are out.

“Wanna know another secret, Buck?” Steve whispers a few minutes later, eyes on the starting movie as he brushes Bucky’s hand with intention over the popcorn bucket. His flustered face and recently kissed lips bathed by dancing lights and shadows coming from the screen. “It’s a good thing we were already together in ‘38 when “Bringing up baby” came out because I was able to plan ahead and lure you into that memorable window fuck at our old apartment before the show, or we would have totally missed one of our favorite movies, too.”

Bucky hates Steve with the force of the universe. Or maybe not, but he’s not playing clean.

“Raincheck on the movie?” he manages to whisper back as he drives Steve’s hand to his already noticeable hard-on. Two can play this game.

“Oh, poor Buck. Do you have palpitations” Steve chuckles, lips wet on Bucky’s ear and gripping harder on his bulge instead of letting go. “Was that the memory of the window fuck? Or all the making out? Tell me so I don’t do it again.”

“You are a punk, Steve Rogers,” Bucky answers before standing up to leave, closely followed by a smiling Steve.

Argh, sorry for deleting and uploading again, but i had technical issues with this.... so here it goes again. I need to free myself from this one!

[haddocknumber3]

Defense of The Hidden World.

This is my first time posting here in ages but I’ve been working on an essay in defense of HTTYD 3. Some of the possible responses I’ve seen against arguments defending the movie will be answered throughout. (warning this is long, like, ridiculously long so if you don’t read this then I completely understand. I just wanted a place to formulate and explain my opinion. 

Hiccup and Toothless’ relationship proved that a genuine, unflinchingly honest and unconditional love could exist between humans and dragons. It proved to the world that co-existence was possible, but maybe not yet. However the main thing that I found to be so profound about THW was that even though they loved each other, they were both willing to explore their own identities separate from each other. Once Toothless found the Lightfury, he re-discovered what it meant to be a dragon. Not a domesticated dragon but a pure, natural dragon. He found that he had instincts that he never knew he had. For instance, he tries to do a mating dance by himself as well as the simple fact that he was so in love with the Light Fury. So when he wanted to mate with the light fury he turned to Hiccup for advice (third date scene) because not only did he not know what to do, but he had seen Hiccup getting closer with Astrid over the years and now that he finally found someone else, he wanted advice on how to handle it. That just shows the love between them. Yes, Hiccup made mistakes in the movie in terms of how he handled Toothless getting with the Lightfury. He was anxious and felt as if he needed to be there to protect him so he desperately tried to halt Grimmel and the armada’s advance without Toothless because he knew he had to do something. However he failed at this and caused Ruffnut to be captured. This causes him to feel like he can’t lead properly without Toothless. He has always doubted whether he’s worthy, but this time he genuinely feels as if he doesn’t know who he is without Toothless. This is confirmed when Astrid and Valka have that brief conversation after Hiccup storms off (after they’ve returned from Grimmel’s tower) and they say:

“He thinks he has to lead alone, well, because his father had to. He doesn’t realize the strength you have together. Do you still believe in him?” - Valka

“Of course, I wish he did. But he thinks he’s nothing without Toothless.” - Astrid

“Then help him realize the truth” - Valka

This comes to a head when Grimmel had just captured Toothless, the Lightfury, and all of Berk’s dragons and he has flown off. Hiccup and Astrid have that conversation on the cliff and while the entire conversation is so so so damn important and powerful, there is one quote that sums it up:

“You are the bravest, most stubborn, determined, knucklehead I know. Toothless didn’t give you that Hiccup. He just-” - Astrid

“-made it easier” - Hiccup

All of this works so magnificently because the film has been able to show that both Hiccup and Toothless now have different goals in life. It’s just so beautiful how the film allows both characters to explore and accept their own identities without having any grievances towards each other in the process. Even though Hiccup is anxious about Toothless leaving him, it doesn’t mean he resents him for it. He is just concerned for his best friend’s safety out in the wild.

When that final scene of them saying goodbye comes along, it’s so impactful because they both realize that while obviously they could just all stay as they are and nothing would change, that wouldn’t be the right thing to do at this point. While Hiccup (and the audience) want to see the message at the end of HTTYD 2 fulfilled where the world could be changed into a dragon-human paradise, it isn’t realistic, no matter how much we believe it could happen. 

“Doesn’t this go against the themes of the franchise?” 

In a way, yes. But also it was the only real CONCLUSION the characters could have come to. I mean, what else was there to learn about the world other than the fact that trying to create a dragon/human paradise isn’t sustainable forever. They were able to create one on Berk but that didn’t last. People will always continue to try and disrupt this way of life. Evil people like Grimmel will always be around to exploit dragon-kind for their own nefarious goals. 

“But isn’t that the point? To always fight and stand up for the dragons and not give up by sending them away to some other place?” 

Well your not wrong, but isn’t allowing them to live in a paradise where they will never be harmed by other humans ever again worth it? Isn’t it worth it to find peace without the need for war? Isn’t that what a chief is supposed to do? 

“A chief protects his own” That’s the point. It IS a sacrifice. Because even though the Berkians may consider the dragons as their own, they aren’t. They are still independent dragons. (I give an example of this later on in the form of a deleted scene) It’s a sacrifice of the idealistic views that the second movie explored. Even that movie proved that consequences would come from actively trying to change the entire world’s view. However it shouldn’t (and didn’t) dissuade the Berkians from trying to continue to live in peace with their dragons. 

Also I just want to bring up the fact that some people have drawn parallels between this movie and certain aspects of real life. I understand, but that isn’t the story that is being told. The metaphors did get pretty muddled sadly but I can assure you that isn’t the intent behind the movie. So if you have any ill will towards the movie because of that then I’m sorry that was the message that you took away from it. Just know that wasn’t the intention and wasn’t the story being told. 

Hiccup, who had now become chief, actively tried to save the dragons that were in captivity or being harmed by the hunters and warlords of the world. Instead of trying to change their minds (and Grimmel’s mind) like he tried to do with Drago in HTTYD 2, he actively tries to sabotage their activities of caging and using dragons and bringing them back to Berk so they could be safe. However, by the opening of the third movie, it is clear that Berk has become overcrowded. 

“But couldn’t they have spread out?” 

Well, a deleted scene confirms they did by referencing their “nest in the north” so it’s clear that they had spread out. But Berk was their main settlement and they couldn’t maintain dozens of other settlements full of dragons 24/7. 

Wait but couldn’t they have asked other friendly civilizations like the Berserkers or the Wingmadens to look after them and follow in Berk’s example? 

Yeah of course, but eventually they would run into the same problem as Berk did at the beginning of the third movie. If they kept bring back dragons to Berk or any other dragon friendly civilization, then eventually they would get overcrowded. It may take a while but the possibility of it happening is pretty large. 

“Nah doesn’t make sense. That wouldn’t happen because they would all just defend their islands/civilizations against their enemies like they have done for the entire TV series.”

...Once again, it’s not sustainable. That’s why the Hidden World exists. It’s a place where the dragons can live totally out of reach and where they can be safe.

“Oh but the whole idea of the Hidden World is contrived bullshit just made up to move the plot along.” 

Couldn’t Frodo and the Fellowship just use the eagles to fly all the way to Mount Doom so he could drop the ring in and call it a day? What’s the reason there? So the plot could happen? Hmmm. But in all seriousness though I don’t have anything against LOTR and in fact it’s one of my favorite series besides HTTYD. Also they couldn’t have used the eagles because on the way the Black Riders who were on the dragons would have taken them out. Also they could have been shot down- oKAY back to the Hidden World. The idea of the Hidden World is kind of contrived but at the same time it is using the lack of an established explanation of where the dragons actually came from and utilizing it. 

“But they would have just been on the surface the whole time?” 

As I said, there is a lack of an explanation. So why not? why not delve deeper into the lore of the dragons. The idea of Hiccup discovering the ancestral home of all dragons is awesome! It doesn’t conflict with anything previously established in terms of where they came from because there is no explanation.

“What about Vanaheim, the eternal resting place of all dragons from RTTE?”

Good point, but that doesn’t mean that the dragons couldn’t have lived and evolved underground and then come up to the surface and gone to Vanaheim. I mean, obviously not every dragon was in the Hidden World so it would have been easier for them to just travel there but I don’t see this as a massive issue though.

“Why does Hiccup say “The world believes the dragons are gone” in the epilogue if just Berk’s dragons left.” 

This is a really solid point so I’ll do my best with this one but at the same time, it is a really good point. I imagine that by the time the third movie comes around, Berk had become such a safe haven for dragons that you could say most of the world’s dragons resided on Berk. But this is kind of flimsy too and doesn’t exactly make sense. The way I see it, this is a valid “plot hole” but at the same time I don’t really care? I don’t know for me it was just an emotional way of putting the ending of the film into words. I don’t have a valid explanation for it but whenever I watch the film I just roll with it because I’m already wrapped up in the emotion of it all that I just don’t care, and to be honest I’m glad I don’t. That’s just me though. If you have an issue with this then I totally understand because dragons like the Buffalord or the Eruptadon can’t exactly leave their islands sooooo yea...

“The Hidden World conflicts with established lore of the whole series.”

I’m pretty sure this is referring to Grimmel killing all the Nightfuries and Stoick not telling Hiccup about it. To be honest this is the plot hole that I’ve tried to patch up but can’t find a reasonable explanation for. However, it’s one of those tiny discrepancies for me that doesn’t hurt or hinder my enjoyment or engagement with the trilogy.

“Why was the armada defeated so quickly? As Valka said, there were probably over 100 ships. How did the Dragon Riders defeat an entire fleet of ships so quickly?”

Well, most of the ships were on fire by the end of the final battle and all of the dragons had been freed by that point. Also, Astrid managed to reach the wheel of the main barge and lock it into position so it would crash into the ships beside it and take multiple of them out. So we can infer that not only are all of the dragons free, but also pretty much all of the ships have been set alight and are now in the process of burning down and sinking. 

“What about the Warlords?”

Ragnar the rock (the big guy) gets chased off and supposedly eaten by the Hobgobblers and the other two get trapped in a cage that slides down the front deck of their ship (because Astrid caused the ship to crash into the other ones) and traps them in it. So basically all 3 warlords are incapacitated or dead.

Ok back to the main point from a few paragraphs back lol: Berk was overcrowded and they needed a solution. Hiccup knew that something had to be done so when he was standing in the same quiet spot where his father told him a mystical tale of a hidden dragon world, it causes him to think about whether it was real or not. Could that be the solution? They would be able to stay with the dragons in the hidden world because they were dragon loving people (that’s Hiccup’s logic.) However, when Grimmel arrives and berates him about his view of dragons and Berk’s way of life. Hiccup stands up to him because he has defended Berk’s way of life from far worse than a mere lone dragon hunter. But after Hiccup experiences the terror and destruction that this one hunter could cause on his home, he now fully realizes that they need to leave Berk because they are not only overcrowded but now they have a ruthless hunter ready to return at any point and cause more destruction upon Berk; possibly even killing many of his people including himself and definitely Toothless. It’s a long shot but he decides that if Berk wants to live in peace with their dragons then they need to disappear into the hidden world where the warlords and their armada along with Grimmel can’t ever find them again. They will be safe forever. It will be a human/dragon paradise that will be untouched.

Another question that comes up is:

“Well why can’t they stand and fight. That should be the message. That their ideological views would not waver because some more people threaten their home with war.” 

That’s a fair judgement to be honest, however, as Hiccup learnt in the second film from his father: “Berk is what you need to worry about, a chief protects his own” - Stoick. 

In a deleted scene from the third movie, it has this exchange between Hiccup and Valka:

“I know, I know, he has to win her over but I’m telling you, once she (the Lightfury) moves in it’ll all be perfect” - Hiccup

“Eret and I returned from the scout, Berk was burned to the ground” - Valka

“At least everyone’s safe” - Hiccup

“For now” - Valka

“No one can find us here” - Hiccup

“That’s what I used to believe, Hiccup, but they’ve found our nest in the far north too. Greedy humans, will always find a way” - Valka

“I don’t believe that” - Hiccup

“I...I know it might be hard for you to accept, but the dream that you and I yearn for, you know, this untouchable dragon utopia, I fear it just doesn’t exist. I mean, maybe in the end the dragons are safer in the wild.” - Valka

“What, with crazy people like Grimmel around?” - Hiccup

“The more dragons we bring back, the bigger of a target we all become” - Valka

“But they’re safer with us. We protect them” - Hiccup

“And we’ll continue to do so, but I fear for their safety in these large numbers. Tame dragons are more vulnerable to humans. Their trust in us becomes their weakness. In the wild, they’re better adapted to protect themselves” - Valka

“A chief protects his own, that’s what Dad always said” - Hiccup

“And he was right. But as much as we love our dragons Hiccup, they are not our own. There’s a fine line between being a protector and a captor. I only ask that you think about it” - Valka

The fact that this is a deleted scene is really frustrating because it put the themes that the movie is trying to explore into proper dialogue. Valka understands that moving around with this massive amount of dragons isn’t safe for anyone. If they were to be released into the wild then they could have a better chance at surviving. Even though the dragons will still be at danger in the wild, that’s the point of the hidden world. The dragons can live there together in complete and total safety.

Once Hiccup and Astrid discover the Hidden World and find that Toothless has settled in with the Lightfury and is safe and comfortable, he then realizes that it wouldn’t be fair to try and bring him back to New Berk. He’s found a home away from the troubles of the world. He doesn’t have to be afraid anymore. He can have a family in the peace and safety of the Hidden World as well as being surrounded by his own kind. On top of this realization, Hiccup and Astrid get attacked by a wild dragon and have to try and flee. When Toothless sees this he flies to protect his friend and take them back to New Berk where THEY will be safe, not him. As a result of this, Hiccup not only comes to the conclusion that humans aren’t meant for the Hidden World, but he finally understands what Valka was trying to tell him earlier (in that deleted scene.) The dragons WOULD be safer there. I mean, sure. They could stay up there at New Berk and they could continue to live life as they always have. But then what? What happens when another Grimmel comes around and manages to inflict worse upon Berk’s population. When will Hiccup be able to solve the entire world. The answer is, he can’t. But he can allow for the dragons to live in the Hidden World. He can give them a life where they can never be harmed again. Isn’t this better?

A statement that may come from this is that:

“Oh but that means Grimmel won. The villain literally won. What the fuck, this is so disgusting and disappointing. How can anyone like this?”

Those people are free the feel that way. However, he didn’t win. Not entirely. Yes, he completely opposed co-existence to the point where he would gladly kill any dragon to prove that point. He wants the world to continue killing dragons because that is a fundamental aspect of who he is. It proves to him that he is right. He is the self-proclaimed Nightfury Killer. But this still doesn’t mean that he wins in the end. Yes, dragons and humans do have to separate. But Grimmel’s ultimate goal was to kill all of the dragons. Wipe them off the face of the earth. From a certain perspective, he achieves this because dragons do have to live in the Hidden World away from humans, but that doesn’t mean he won. They are all still alive aren’t they? He failed in his mission to kill them. He failed in killing Toothless. He failed at his one purpose in life. So no, he didn’t win in the end. There is a difference between a villain totally and completely winning against the heroes like Thanos did at the end of Infinity War, and this, where Grimmel not only died as a result of his flawed and evil ideals but did not get to carry out the goal that made him who he is. The dragons leaving was a choice made by Hiccup. It was a sacrifice made out of love. If Grimmel was to win, then he would have had to kill Toothless and either see all the dragons locked away in cages for the rest of their lives or for them to be killed too. I could go on and on about this point in particular but I’ll stop here.

Once the final battle begins, Hiccup isn’t fighting to free the dragons so they can continue to live on in a peaceful dragon utopia like they did in HTTYD 2, he is fighting for their survival. So by the end of the battle when Grimmel is holding onto Hiccup, who is holding onto the Lightfury, he knows that the only option to save Toothless from falling to his doom is to take the harness off the Lightfury, releasing her from the power of the Death gripper venom and let go, causing Hiccup along with Grimmel, to fall to their deaths. This is the ultimate act of love. This is what the whole trilogy has been building to because for years Hiccup has remained adamant that Toothless and him belonged together. Hiccup would always be there to protect Toothless and Toothless would always be there to protect Hiccup. But after all this time of Hiccup learning that Toothless will be safe with the Lightfury in the Hidden World, he has the courage to let go and sacrifice himself for his best friend. 

After the Lightfury has saved him and all of Berk reunite with their dragons. Hiccup and Toothless both realize that after all this time of the two co-depending on each other, it’s time for them to fulfil their own destinies of being the leader of their respective tribes. 

“I was so busy fighting for a world that I wanted, I didn’t think about what you needed.” - Hiccup.

This quote clearly demonstrates Hiccup’s deeper understanding of the implications that come with his evolving emotional maturity. For him to fully grow up and become to true leader of Berk, he needs to learn to let go of his best friend. He needs to grow up. Some may call this contrived and/or unnecessary however I don’t see it that way in the slightest. The Hidden World is, as Hiccup puts it earlier in the film “a secret land at the edge of the world where dragons lived totally out of reach.” So when the dragons have the option of living in a place where they are totally safe from the outside world, then why wouldn’t they take that. (I’m honestly repeating myself at this point but I don’t care.) For Hiccup to fully be able to step into the role as the wise and selfless chief that he was always destined to become, he needed to learn the valuable lesson of letting go. If he didn’t, then he would never be able to see things from a new, better and wiser perspective. He would never be able to grow as an individual, thus possibly impacting how he rules Berk and how he deals with situations that come with being chief. He has always relied on Toothless for his strength as a person, friend, and leader, but by the end of the Hidden World, he realizes that his true strength lies within himself and Astrid. Here’s a conversation from HTTYD 2 to support this:

(Between Astrid and Hiccup towards the beginning)

“I’m not like you Astrid, you know exactly who you are, you always have but...I’m still looking. I know that I’m not my father, and I never met my mother so...what does that make me?” - Hiccup

“What your searching for, isn’t out there Hiccup. It’s in here.*points to his chest* Maybe you just don’t see it yet” - Astrid

By allowing themselves to fulfil their own personal destinies of discovering their own identities along with finding their own loved ones, they are able to say goodbye to each other and live ‘together from afar.’ The dragons will be safe, and Berk will be safe. But, even though the world believes the dragons are gone, the Berkians know otherwise. And they’ll guard the secret until the time comes when dragons can return in peace...

Also the track titled ‘Once there were Dragons’ is a fucking astonishing piece of music that every human on the being on the planet needs to listen to. Anyway thank you so much for reading this if you did. I’ve been struggling with how to present my thoughts and feelings towards this epic conclusion but I’ve been a little afraid to. I tried to on reddit but when people offered extensive constructive criticism towards the points I made, I didn’t exactly take it too well. Maybe that’s because I was getting over a hangover when I read most of it but that doesn't matter because I still didn’t handle it well. But I’ve learnt from that and chosen to take that criticism on board and now that I’ve been able to formulate my opinion the best I can, I’ve used those points they made and tried to analyze them too instead of just ignoring and flat out hand-waiving them. Anyway, if you disagree with anything I’ve said here then that’s totally cool and I’d be happy to listen to your opinions. Still thanks for reading. 

[hydraulicfluidinmyteapot]

Pirates of the Caribbean

This is an ask from @shrigma-male​, but i accidentally deleted the ask.. so sorry! I am high key excited to get an ask about this topic, as the Pirates of the Caribbean ride is probably one of my earliest animatronic centric obsessions. not only is it one of the earliest and most impressive feats of Imagineering, it also remains solid to this day. it houses a great many iconic animatronic figurines, all of which work together in perfect harmony to capture beautifully life filled scenes of a cohesive storyline. Its individual ride concept was so strong that it birthed a line of clones and even a famous movie franchise. isn’t that sick? a RIDE was the key source material for a whole movie series! but it’s unsurprising, with the time and care poured into the ride. Unfortunately, or fortunately depending on how you think about it, the ride is JAM PACKED so there is a LOT to talk about. This will only be a super brief post information-wise, but who knows? There may be more to come if this performs well. Apologies, my life’s not going great at the moment and i don’t have a lot of spare time so this is not as high a quality as i would like it to be.

Here’s my fast fact file on it!

Debut: March 16, 1967

Withdrawal: All rides are still operating

Attraction: The Pirates of the Caribbean 

Locations: Disneyland, Magic Kingdom, Tokyo Disneyland, Disneyland Paris, Shanghai Disney (but this one’s heavily modified)

Attraction Type: Dark ride

Riders Per Vehicle: 23–24

Number of vehicles:  50

Animatronics: 119 ish but it depends on the ride version

Ride videos: The entire ride varies from version to version and different people want to see different parts. i’m leaving you guys to find your own ride videos. it’s a very popular ride, just type on in to youtube and you’ll find heaps of nice high quality ones. 

The thing that stands out about this ride is the theming and the sheer amount of effort put in to creating an immersive environment. the ride houses an impressive 119 audio animatronics, 53 of which are animals. There are 630,000 gallons of water in the ride (original Disneyland) and takes three whole days to drain. there are over 40,000 gold coins in the treasure room scene alone. It holds what could possibly be considered Disney’s first themed restaurant which can be seen at the start of the ride. It is objectively one of the coolest things I’ve ever ridden. I want to call specific attention to the boat scene, where cannons fare at each other from opposite ships, creating glowing impacts and throwing water about. the first time I rode it it ensnared my attention and completely suspended my disbelief.The ride system is based on the one used in it’s a small world, due to that rides incredible success in debuting a boat-based transport system. Although I hate it’s a small world with a burning passion and refuse to write anything on it, I must be forced to admit that it did wonders as a test on how to create a good dark ride, emphasising key features such as a high rider capacity, boat-based transport system, and proving that animatronics are an incredibly attractive key event. Since the 60’s when it debuted, the Pirates of the Caribbean ride has gone through many changes throughout its location, including entire scenes being added and removed. but what it has maintained throughout its historic run time is its notoriety and splendour. the key change that I will bring up is the 2006 and 2007 renovations that include more theming from the very successful movie franchise. slightly unrelated, but the song “Yo ho, a pirate’s life for me” was actually first written for the ride. The rides are all being constantly updated in minor ways whether it’s slightly improving the animatronics, touching up background details or changing costuming. I’ll attach here a brief sort of timeline of the ride that I’ve whipped up here, but it only touches on the most notable modifications. sorry about how crap-tier it is..

Now, to talk more specifically about animatronics. The animatronics used on this ride are some of the earliest made by Disney. some are really quite basic, with their full range of motions being a singular full body action such as raising and lowering out of a barrel, but others move heads and arms in (sort of) lifelike actions. Some are newer, (specifically captain Jack Sparrow), but most are the original ones from the 60’s. One of my (and everyone’s tbh) favourites is the redheaded lady. She is (very originally) named Redd. Previously she was being sold off for auction, but in 2018 she was swapped to being an auctioneer. She has stunning red curls and a beautiful dress to match, and now holds a gun. here’s a little before and after.

 in the same refurbishment that changed her the mist screen in the tunnel before the fort battle was removed and replaced with a pirate in a cage who turns into a skeleton via an optical trick as well as an octopus playing with some medallions, along with the original 1967 narration about cursed treasure being restored. Her new version is based off none other than Anne Bonny herself (worth a google, she’s a fucking BOSS (like seriously!! Queer history icon!!! LOOK 👏 HER 👏 UP 👏 )) . She’s also displayed in dead man’s cove in a portrait, which I think is kinda neat. Her Paris version is completely silent, but the others yell about selling rum. Sadly I have never actually seen the new Redd in person, as I have only ridden the ride in Tokyo (where she is still being sold).

Now, the barker bird! oh how I love him so <3 he’s a little green pirate parrot, who spent his days crying about the ride. he was originally in the queue area but got kicked outside eventually to help deal with crowd control. he was then gotten rid of in 2006 in the big movie refurb. He was remarkably similar to the original barker bird who resided outside of the Enchanted Tikki Room; however, the pirate version has a peg leg, eye patch, tattoo on his chest and wondrously villainous hat. he was originally based off of Captain Flint, the parrot from Treasure Island. It is theorised that he has a skeletal clone inside the ride; the parrot belonging to “the Dirty Feet pirate”. 

When you first get on the ride, the first animatronic you come across is Old Joe. he is an animatronic character used in multiple different attractions, including Liberty Belle Riverboat, The Western River and Mark Twain Riverboat. in each version, he lives in a shack and is associated with the banjo. I say associated because it is actually a really common misconception that he actually plays the banjo. he does not, it is just a dark scene and there is banjo music playing around him. you can see the tip of his pipe glowing as you approach it in the ride, lit up alongside the fireflies. he is a small taste of what is to come.

Barbossa replaced the original pirate captain of The Wicked Wench in the boat battle scene in the mass movie renovation. he is my tied favourite with the redhead, as his dialog adds so much to the scene. his character moves in a beautiful fashion, lit up by a spotlight. His face is artfully painted, capturing what I believe to be the most human expression in the entire ride. His boat is fighting a Castillo del Morro fortress of Isla Tesoro, whilst busy searching for treasure and presumably captain jack sparrow. in 2011 his WDW version’s outfit was swapped over to his privateer uniform from On Stranger Tides, to keep the ride tied to the movies. What can be considered quite odd is that in Paris’s later renovation, the Captain did not replace the Wicked Wench captain, and was rather added in to a scene at the end of the ride, in the skeleton grotto. he is standing on the shipwreck beside the skeleton helmsman, carrying a lantern. 

The auctioneer. I don’t like him. greasy man. his eyes are wild. He’s originally voiced by Paul Frees (an icon, a legend) and is inspired by Captain Bartholomew Roberts (considered the most successful pirate in the golden age of piracy. He is also a pirate from the ship The Wicked Wench, and his auction is set up near a canteen called "La Cantina”. very creative. He was originally selling brides (human trafficking, not very snazzy) but now he sells chickens he stole from townspeople. however, this is unsuccessful. In the Paris version, instead of the chickens he is trying to sell a painting of Jean Laffite. Funnily enough, Jean is one of Disney’s sort of “stand in” pirate characters that they frequently just use whenever they need a pirate to slide in. Unfortunately, the auctioneer is always kept relatively up to date with the shiniest, newest technology that Disney can spare, and is always one of the most advanced figures on the ride. doesn’t deserve it, he’s slimy and I don’t like him. I should probably mention that he doesn’t actually have a name other than the auctioneer. There’s also a clone of him used in the haunted mansion for the duelling animatronics. loser. 

This is a very long post, so I shall cut it here. I will leave you with an image gallery, further reading and a possible promise of a part two if this post does well. Thank you!

(ok so i actually haven’t got any further reading gathered yet. give me like 6 hours and ill fix it in an edit. i promise. i just want to get this post out asap)

[firelxdykatara]

hello!! i just wanted to ask- i wanna do an ouat rewatch bc CAPTAIN SWANN but its pretty long and i honestly dont care for the other characters/how badly the overall writing was handled.. which are your favourite captain swan eps? anything them centered and i think ill just skip around to rewatch their romance as they did invent romance 😭😭 ty in advance <3

they absolutely did invent romance, you are right about that and i love them so much

UHMMMM as far as my favorite CS eps, here’s a roadmap of what I personally consider key eps in their journey (some of this is from memory but I haven’t done a full rewatch in a while so i’m going through the episode list as a refresher)

2x06: Tallahassee--this is a must-watch ep for any CS fan, and I really think this is the episode that sparked the fire that CS would become as a fandom. It has everything--flirtatious banter, all kinds of tension, deliberate parallels drawn between Emma and Killian’s pasts, as well as their first meeting being intercut with her relationship with Neal (which serves, especially in hindsight, to highlight just how sketchy that relationship was, and why she couldn’t bring herself to trust Killian--because the last time she felt this way about anyone, it ended horribly)

2x08 and 2x09: Into the Deep and Queen of Hearts--these episodes cover the race to the portal between Emma&co and Hook/Cora and while they don’t do a ton for CS as a relationship since they’re still enemies at this point, it lays great foundation for their future relationship development. Plus, sexy swordfight, Hook going out of his way to save Aurora’s heart--he may be a pirate, but he has standards ok--and Emma realizing Cora can’t remove her heart without her permission? Poetic Cinema

2x11: The Outsider--more of a Killian-centric episode, it shows a lot of Killian at his worst but it’s necessary for his overall character arc and I genuinely love looking back and seeing just how far he managed to come, to the point of eventually even letting go of his (very understandable) grudge against Rumplestiltskin.

2x12: In the Name of the Brother--am I including this purely for Emma&Hook banter in the hospital, and Killian saying ‘hey beautiful’ when he’s lying on the road because he just got hit by a fucking car? You bet I am. Also, go to youtube and look up ‘ouat season two deleted scene jello’, because it’s beautiful and there was a tremendous outcry in the fandom when we realized it had been cut from the episode lmao (It’s also the episode that made me start shipping Frankenwolf, which I’m still sad never went anywhere, but they had a lot of potential and great chemistry.)

2x22: And Straight On Till Morning--A few of the episodes in between have some fun minor interactions and flashbacks (and I always approve of episodes where Killian gets one up on Rumple, so 2x15 is fun for me if i ignore all the Neal bits) but the finale is where we finally get a glimpse of who Killian could be beyond his need for revenge. He didn’t have to come back, he didn’t have to bring back the bean and help the town--but he did.

Season 3a: there’s a lot of really good stuff here for Hook and Emma that is interwoven between the A plots of other episodes. I think, as far as half-season arcs go, it’s one of the best (and everything after 4a bombed hard, but I digress) But there are a few episodes that stand out if you don’t want to watch the whole season. (I recommend starting with the premier though, it was a really solid season starter overall.)

3x05: Good Form--this is the culmination of David’s poisoned-by-dreamshade arc, and is also Peak Captain Charming Bromance. Hook not only keeping David’s secret, but doing everything he can to help save him??? Poetic cinema. It also provides some crucial Killian backstory, showing how he lost his brother to the very same dreamshade. Plus, the character development--Pan offers Killian a chance to escape the island with Emma if he kills David, and instead, he saves him, refusing the deal and damn the consequences. Also also? The first CS kiss which drove the fandom WILD.

3X06: Ariel--not only to I love OUaT’s take on Ariel, but this episode has the infamous Echo Cave scene, which involves a lot of feelsy confessions and Killian being the one to tell everyone that Neal is alive and helping Emma save him despite his own growing feelings for her.....IT’S JUST A LOT AND I LOVE IT.

3x07: Dark Hallow--oh man, I’d forgotten about this episode, but it has Killian and Neal fighting over Emma, which may sound eye-roll worthy, but Emma is allowed to tear them a new one about it and it’s one of the few times she’s allowed to actually???? put her own feelings first so I have to include it here on spec

3x11 and 3x12: Going Home and New York City Serenade--these mark the end of 3a and start of 3b respectively, and it has some amazing shit like Killian vowing never to forget Emma and Emma smiling as she replies, “Good.” And then she and Henry are in New York with their memories completely altered, but Killian shows up because Storybrooke is back and in jeopardy, and he helps Emma get back to her family and her home and, much later, Emma finds out he sold the Jolly Roger to be able to do it and it’s just. It’s beautiful ok.

3x17: The Jolly Roger--there’s honestly not a whole lot in the back half of season 3 (until the CS movie) but of course anything named for Hook is a must-watch, and this is where we get the iconic line I swear on Emma Swan--which is Killian saying he’s in love with her before he even realizes it. We also find out just what he did to Ariel, and his attempts to make amends are what lead to Zelena being able to curse him, so it’s great from a character perspective as well.

The next four episodes round out the end of the season, and there’s a lot of great stuff in them--Hook refusing to get Emma to kiss him, but Emma feeling like she can’t trust him because he didn’t tell her about the curse to begin with, and then kissing him anyway to save his life regardless of the consequences.... but the only ones that are absolutely necessary are the final two episodes.

They are colloquially termed ‘The Captain Swan Movie’ for a reason, after all.

Killian and Emma essentially have an entire Time Travel adventure all to themselves, where they accidentally ruin her parents first meeting and have to fix it so that she’ll even be born, Emma finally getting into the storybook, the pair of them dancing at a ball, Killian rushing to save Emma only for her to get out of the cell herself, because “The only one who saves me is me.” Killian saying “I would go to the ends of the world for her... or time.” Finally fixing the timeline and making it back to Storybrooke and Killian feeling like he doesn’t deserve a place at the table so he doesn’t go inside, but Emma comes out to him anyway and finds out he gave up the Jolly Roger for her, the true start to their relationship...... IM CRYING JUST THINKING ABOUT IT I’M SORRY.

I personally really enjoyed 4a, the Frozen arc was one of the last good half-season arcs of the show, but a lot of people disliked it so it’s really up to interpretation. I don’t have as many Intense Opinions on this season (except hating almost everything about 4b and the queens of darkness arc), but I will say the episodes with good Killian/CS moments are 4x02 (Emma nearly freezes to death, Killian is desperate to save her, Captain Charming teamwork, my heart hurts), 4x04 (Emma asks Killian out on a real date, he tries to get his real hand back from Gold, things go massively awry and he winds up back under Gold’s thumb), 4x08 (Killian tries to save Emma from Gold’s plans), 4x11 (the 4a finale is just great in general), and then..... it cannot be overstated how much I hate season 4b, but 4x15 is the Killian-centric ep where his past with Ursula is revealed and he makes amends to her in order to get her to leave the QoD alliance and it’s great character stuff for him, and then there’s the season 4 finale.

Both parts are worth watching, if only because Deckhand Coward Hook still being a braver, more heroic man than ‘Hero Rumplestiltskin’ warms the very cockles of my heart, and of course the second part of the finale has him helping Henry to save Emma and it’s beautiful and also Emma watches him die for her and it is angsty as FUCK but gods I love it. Here’s where it gets tricky, though--my recommendation is, turn the episode off right after Emma finds Killian back in the present day of Storybrooke and they reunite.

Just turn off the episode there and skip right ahead to the s6 musical episode (Emma and Killian’s wedding ep) and pretend they got married and none of seasons 5 or 6 ever happened. >.> (Although I will say certain parts of the Underworld arc were incredibly feelsy despite how much I overall hated the season: 5x11 (the 5a finale, Killian as the dark one STILL being a better man than rumple, we love to see it), 5x15 (I am not immune to Brothers Jones feelings ok), 5x20 (emma literally takes a True Love Test trying to find a way to save killian, you don’t get more romantic than that--also Killian telling Emma to promise she won’t put her armor back up just because she lost him again??? my HEART), 5x21 (Hook does what he can from the Underworld anyway and zeus sends him back to Emma, they really just said ‘today I will invent romance’ and then Did That)

And then, yeah, just skip to the wedding. It’s beautiful, I enjoyed the music, personally, though I know musical episodes are hit or miss with most people. And if you turn it off when the last musical number starts (after the wedding ceremony, I believe) you can pretend it was the end of the show! =DDD

.....Oh my god I just rambled for years. I HOPE YOU FIND THIS USEFUL, ANON. I 100% support a CS-centered rewatch, their episodes were consistently some of the best across the entire series, and they are truly one of my favorite romances of all time.

[juuls]

Pinned: Writing Updates

Hiya folks! ^_^ With this new pinned post feature, I figured it would be a good spot to put updates on how my writing is going (or not). As most of you know, mental and physical illness and recovery keep me from writing either quickly or easily, and I know that bothers or puts off some of you. Believe me, I feel guilty a lot of the time I’m not writing, but I know that nobody wants me to feel like this is a job, that I should enjoy what I do, and I try my best to just relax and let the writing come to me. It has always been a grueling task for me, and my words fight me, but I choose to see this as a labour of love. Thank you, everyone, for your support (and for holding up my fragile, rebuilding, self-confidence/ego :P). Managing chronic pain and illnesses along with fairly rapid-cycling Bipolar II makes things a bit messy, but I keep pushing because writing (and you amazing readers) means so much to me. 💜

UPDATE September 4th: see below “Read More”

Previous update, August 21st: Still only about 2400 words into chapter 28 of Cross, and I deleted Hurricane due to reasons but will be working on it bit by bit to instead post it as a single-chapter fic later on when people aren’t so busy anymore. Means I can focus on Cross though, which is all people want from me anyway. S’all good! Looking forward to moving that story along anyway.

Still have @grlie-girl’s Mansom fic, which is an MTH-adjacent fic. But then that’s it! Then I’ll start back up on Deliverance, my Stuckony kidfic, and keep moving Cross along. :) I’ve also been doing quite a lot of brainstorming for my original fiction series, which will be a combo SciFi-Fantasy series with magic and tech both, along with an eventual triad relationship! I’m really excited for it, even if it takes me decades more to write. xD

Works in Progress:

Hanging From a Cross of Iron: Fem!Tony Stuckony, time travel and soulmate AU. Just posted chapter 27 on July 19th! Yay! I’m about 2400 words into chapter 28 and I’m forging ahead as mental and physical health allows. But I think... maybe before the end of August? Thank you, everyone, for your kindness and patience!

Stony MTH fic for @ishipallthings: Fem!Tony Stony, Pacific Rim AU. Natasha Stark/Steve Rogers (Earth-3490) Get Together fic. @sparkly-angell is awesome and helping me by being a soundboard and beta. 5-15k. Will post it all together at a later date instead of chapter by chapter.

Deliverance: Stuckony kid fic, post-Avengers but in the alternate timeline that occurs after Avengers: Endgame. Have not forgotten about this, but it dropped in priority once I sorta over-committed myself to MTH, whoops. I’ll be back to this, though. :)

Gift fic for @grlie-girl, Mansom: (Marta/Ransom) from Knives Out. Dirty, filthy, femme!Domme Sugar Mama post-canon oneshot. I may need a second account to post this pile of filthy hot lava. ;)

Recently Finished Works:

Thread Work: Stuckony wingfic featuring Tony’s sister Darcy, written for MTH.

Ten Days: PepperStuckony bodyguard AU written for MTH for @tehroserose and @astudyinsolitude-writes.

Bad: a ShockStuckony get-together, meddling matchmaker Darcy fic, written for MTH.

I will try to keep this up to date but sometimes I’ll forget. Check back occasionally to see if I’m any closer to updating! I love all of my readers and commenters, and am so blessed to have you choose to read my work. Thank you so much. So so much. I’m sorry for the wait, but I’m a comeback kid, I promise. Sending love, and be safe and healthy and good to those around you.

Love, <3 Juulna

UPDATE September 4th: I’m going to put up a separate post, probably, but what’s going on is this... I obviously have Bipolar II and have learned to ride the ups and downs pretty well in recent years, even if some things still surprise me on occasion. But what I’ve never been able to properly treat or learn to deal with is anxiety. I’ve always had GAD (general anxiety) but it’s been untreated since I had so much other shitty health to focus on. Prioritization, right? And I needed all my faculties to not end up dead at the hands or by the gun of my ex. Then, after I left, I was making strides in recovering from the severe abuse and trauma at my ex-husband’s hands, sharp tongue, and actions from July 2017 until... well, it’s still an ongoing process, but this whole year, part of 2019 too, has been a lot better on the healing front. The strides I was making helped me focus on things other than my anxiety, but after dealing with those things, the anxiety started crawling insistently in.

Didn’t help that I finally felt up to checking out what was going on in the world more often. And it’s been good for me, it has... in that I’ve become better educated in the awfulness of the world, which has allowed me to call out racists, ‘Truthers’, and other asshole bigots who remind me of my ex. The downside of all that is that I am way over-empathetic and am appalled at the absolute.... *makes incoherent helpless noises*... just, appalled at EVERYTHING. And I am afraid. And worried. And angry. And a slew of other words that I’m sure every one of you get. You’re all intelligent; you know what’s going on in the world.

And sometimes I devolve into apathy, sometimes sleepless nights (I get about 16-20 hours of sleep a WEEK right now, which should be in the 40-60 hour range, frankly), increased pain on top of the fuckton I’m already in, worsening migraines, dizziness, and the intrusive thoughts of my bipolar depression keep telling me there’s an easy way out of this all. That’s when I knew I needed to do something. So sitting down with my loving father and my caring psychotherapist, I put together a list of my symptoms, what I wanted to tackle most, what I was willing to let go, how all of it interacted (cocktail medications, which I’m already on, can be dangerous and deadly), and then put together a proposal for my doctor, who’s been my family practitioner for two decades.

When you hit the point of panic attacks weekly, and not being able to sleep, even with a double dose of your sleep medication... when you don’t want to watch the things that bring you some modicum of joy for fear of aspects reminding you about the real world... when you wish you simply didn’t exist anymore... you need help. I needed help, and I won’t shy away from discussing that in a public setting, for the simple fact that someone who reads this might need to hear that it’s not the end all be all, not the end of the line, not the end of your life. So with the support of my father and my therapist, who I spoke to last night and this morning, respectively, in advance of my doctor’s appoint this afternoon... My doctor listened attentively to me and gave me permission to go on benzodiazepines again. I will be taking one daily, the one that doesn’t have nearly as great a spike of effect, but lasts longer and steadier, and will also be taking the other, spikier one, as the equivalent of a rescue inhaler for the next panic attack.

I’m not trying to hide from what’s going on in the world. But there is a line I need to learn to respect in how much news I look for, how I consume it, and how I let myself run away with myself at any injustice I see. And fuck, there is a lot. I will still be keeping abreast of the news, still educating myself, still engaging in discussions with people I trust to be kind to my mental state as best they can in the situation, and other things. This will simply make it so I don’t devolve into an incoherent mess of a breakdown/panic attack, and most importantly it will keep me from suicide. It’s never been much of a threat for me, but lately...? Let’s just say I am a bit more concerned than usual.

Gotta love brains, eh? Mental illness sucks. But this is one way I can take control. Other ways include the Nutrisystem diet I recently started, going for regular walks with my pupper and dad, reading 42 Sci-Fi/Fantasy books and counting in 2020, breathing exercises, removing harmful elements from my life even if that pains me in the moment... I’m making progress in other areas.

But what does this mean for my writing? Well. Good question. The last few times I took the stronger of these two medications (on a more daily, vs rescue, basis), well, I didn’t write hardly at all. I have hopes for being able to write during this, with the more steady medication, but I also have to feel happy to write, and the state of the world isn’t going to give me much opportunity to feel that for months yet, if not years (go and goddamn vote)... so yeah. But I realized that I don’t put myself first in big ways like this. And this time I need to. If the writing happens, that’s wonderful. If it doesn’t? Well, I’ll settle for less anxiety and not being dead, and I hope that that’s okay with y’all. I know it’s frustrating when a favourite author takes ages to update, and I’ve always been fairly guilty of that... but you all know that I ALWAYS come back. That’s what I do. I love this community, this fandom, my beta, my readers... you make it all worth coming back to.

So please, all I ask is that you be patient with me. I’m experiencing a pretty severe mental health crisis and not holding on too solidly. But I’m thinking of you. Thinking of all of you, and just how much I appreciate you.

With love,

Juulna / Meg

[lesbeet]

Hi! Just out of curiosity, which of those writing tips did you like, and which ones did you not agree with? I've seen a lot of them before and thought they were pretty common tips

i'm sure this is more than you were asking for but i'm just gonna go through em one by one and add a bit of commentary bc i have nothing better to do

1. every character’s first line should be an introduction to who they are as a person

generally a good rule to follow - personally, i try to make every element of my writing work on more than one level. dialogue for the most part should be used to reveal character (as opposed to exposition). like, obviously sometimes characters will reveal information aloud to each other which advances the plot, but well-written dialogue for a well-rounded character should reveal some combination of information that character intends to communicate as well as some information they don't (eg someone saying one thing and their body language or expression saying something else, which not only provides the information the reader needs, but also provides information about how that character wants to appear to others vs how they actually are/how they actually appear, etc)

2. even if you only wrote one sentence on a really bad day, that’s still one sentence more than you had yesterday

yes 100000%

3. exercise restraint when using swear words and extra punctuation in order for them to pack a punch when you do use them

i'm ehh about the swear words part bc they can be used to demonstrate character info, but definitely re: exclamation points and the like. idk if by "extra punctuation" they mean like "!!" which is something i personally never do - exclamation points should be used sparingly as is, but if what you're writing requires more than one right next to each other, your dialogue isn't strong enough.

4. if your characters have to kiss to show they’re in love, then they’re not in love

absolutely

5. make every scene interesting (or make every scene your favorite scene), otherwise your readers will be just as bored as you

easier said than done, but a good goal

6. if you’re stuck on a scene, delete the last line you wrote and go in a different direction, or leave in brackets as placeholders

this one is a good piece of advice, but ive seen people say (and have found out for myself) that usually the problem is further back than the most recent line you've written. rarely do you detect the problem so soon after you write it, so it helps to go even further back in the scene to find where things got muddled

7. don’t compare your first draft to published books that could be anywhere from 3rd to 103rd drafts

this is one of the most difficult items on the list and also one of the most important lol

8. i promise you the story you want to tell can fit into 100k words or less

sure, but Can doesn't necessarily mean Should. concision is the best practice, especially for less experienced writers (and i include myself in that), but i would caution that some stories work better with a little bloat or with a tasteful amount of subplot or scene that doesn't necessarily move the plot forward; however, you still need to be able to justify a scene's inclusion in the story. if it's not advancing the primary plot, it should be advancing a subplot and/or revealing more about character or even some slight worldbuilding.

i hate to mention jk rowling here because she's not that great of a writer, but think of all the people who talk about how much they love the scenes that don't show much more than the hogwarts daily grind. studying in the common room, meals, classes, just adding to the worldbuilding of hogwarts and student life and showing us what the main characters do when they're not saving the world or trying to solve a mystery. the hp books would be significantly shorter without those scenes and maybe readers wouldn't have even noticed if they'd never been added to begin with, but so many people (again, including me) love and appreciate those scenes. they make the world and the characters feel more real, more relatable, etc.

this one got long (lol irony) but basically, shooting for an arbitrary number of words should really only be a rough estimate (also unfortunately if you're trying to get picked up by a publisher then you're probably better off sticking to the status quo of your particular genre in terms of average word count). take out what isn't necessary, but maybe open up your definition of "necessary" - just a little (seriously, just a little)

9. sometimes the book isn’t working because it’s not ready to be written or you’re not ready to write it yet; let it marinate for a bit so the idea can develop as you become a better writer

idk how i feel about this. im good with writing a draft and then taking a break for a while before going back to it, but this just seems like a really effective excuse for not writing something.

maybe it's just how this tip is phrased idk i just feel like the idea of you or the story "not being ready yet" is kinda silly. if you've been hacking away for a while and getting nothing out of it but frustration, then yeah take a week or two off. but this makes it sound like "oh you haven't matured enough to tell this story yet. try again in a few years." imo it's always better to write a steaming pile of shit and make it better through editing than to put it off until you feel "ready" - bc, at least in my own experience, it's very easy to convince yourself that you're not ready yet instead of taking the plunge and just getting started

10. a story written in chronological order takes a lot more discipline and is usually easier to understand than a story written with flashbacks

this one is confusing to me bc i'm not sure if they're referring to the writing process or the story itself. i agree that writing it in chronological order takes more discipline than writing whatever scene tickles your fancy at a given moment, but just because you WRITE it in chronological order doesn't mean the final product has to be structured that way. likewise, chronological order is usually easier for a reader to follow, but you don't necessarily need to WRITE the story in order. do what works best for you.

personally ive found over time that i prefer to go in order unless i get stuck somewhere, in which case ill move on and go back to it later. so there are a lot of holes in my drafts, but i do try to write in order so the timeline of the story stays clear in my mind, and also so i can get up close and personal with the mechanics of the story, like how different events and scenes lead to what happens next, etc. and like the tip mentions, it's a fantastic disciplinary practice - otherwise you could write all the fun/easy scenes and be left with very little motivation to write the more complex or less favored scenes (which, contrary to that tip up there, are sometimes necessary even if they're not AS exciting as others)

~~

as usual sorry my answer was so long djsksksksk

[anninhiliation]

I emptied the bed

A/N: So I was watching That 70′s show, and it was Season 8 and Sam and Hyde were fighting, and she goes “I emptied the bed” and that inspired this filth. I also want to write a part 2 to this because THE BED WAS NOT EMPTIED FOR SHITS AND GIGGLES. I do not own the gif or the character Sweet Pea. I am just a thirsty bitch for the 6′3 handsome giant. Also sorry this took so long, Tumblr deleted the draft I had so I had to rewrite it and then I fell ill and did not want to think about sex when I was on my death bed!

Masterlist 

Summary: You get into a quarrel with Sweet Pea and hes been gone all day. 

Warnings: The reader gets fucked on a motorcycle. I am going to make a part 2 eventually! 

You and Sweet Pea quarreled earlier, leading him to storm out of the trailer to find a job with the Serpents. It had been eight hours since Sweet Pea left, and not a single text or snapchat had been sent from him. You began to worry a bit, as this was not like him but yet again this quarrel was the biggest one the two of you ever had. Strutting into the kitchen you climbed up on the counter and pulled out a wine bottle you and Sweet Pea stole together one drunken night at the Whyte Wyrm. Quickly, you climbed off the counter and uncorked the bottle.

“Fuck it” You thought to yourself as you began to chug down the bottle.

Before you knew it, half the bottle of wine was gone and into your system. Inevitably every time you were wine drunk you would also become unbelievably horny. You debated taking care of yourself, but you also knew that you would later feel guilty about it because of the unsettled quarrel. Rushing into Sweet Pea’s bedroom you quickly emptied his bed from clothes, headphones and a book throwing it all on his desk as you continued to drink from the bottle. You then took your favorite flannel of his from his closet and threw on your combat boots. On the way out of the trailer, you took a random pocket knife that was in an ashtray filled with small knives. You looked over at your truck and quickly debated if you should just drive there, but you did drink enough wine to make you tipsy so opted for the 10 minute or so walk to the Whyte Wyrm were you had a strong suspicion your boyfriend was. The second you walked into the parking lot you spotted Sweet Pea’s bike which lifted your spirits. You giddily entered the bar looking for Sweet Pea. It took you longer than expected to find your skyscraper. There he was with Toni and Fangs still looking annoyed as ever.

“Sweets!” You yelped smiling as you advanced towards the group.

“Hey, guys!” You giggled, then you turned to Sweet Pea, “Pea I emptied the bed let’s go.”

Sweet Pea gave you a questioning look, and Fangs quickly butted in,

“Do we want to know why you emptied the bed Y/N?”

“So Pea and I can make up.” You responded winking at Fangs.

Fangs and Toni quickly shot their gazes over at Sweet Pea who smirked. Pea’s hand quickly went to your lower back as he escorted you outside the bar.

“Do you know how dangerous it is to walk on the Southside alone and at night?” Sweet Pea blurted out once outside as he inspected you for cuts or bruises.

“But daddy...I brought this.” You purred as you took out the pocket knife and licked it seductively.

Sweet Peas eyes filled with lust as he got on the bike.

“Kitten hold tight.” Sweet Pea demanded as you slid in behind him.

Sweet Pea drove so fast, you were convinced the two of you were going to go flying into a tree. But the vibration of the motor underneath your jean shorts, Sweet Pea’s cologne lingering in your senses, and his presence sent even more heat to your core. It was like an itch at this point that you had to cave in to, so you began to grind against the seat trying to get some form of touch you were dying for. Smirking, Sweet Pea made the bike come to a halt, causing a loud groan escaped your mouth.

“Baby girl, did you think I would allow you to cum, on my bike without my permission?” Sweet Pea questioned as he got off the bike.

You shook your head “no”.

“Princess when daddy asks you a question, you have to answer.” Sweet Pea enjoined.

“No.” You whimpered as you felt the knot build up inside you.

“No what?” Sweet Pea responded leaning over you.

“No Daddy.” You whispered.

“I did not hear that kitten,” Sweet Pea growled as he cupped your chin forcing you to make eye contact which only drove you to squirm under his grip.

“No...Daddy.” You groaned.

“Good girl.” Sweet Pea chuckled, placing his hand on your thigh. “Open your legs baby girl, and let Daddy have a look.”

You did as Sweet Pea instructed, still sitting on the bike, you turned to have your body face Sweet Pea. You slowly opened your legs, never breaking eye contact with Sweet Pea. Gently and slowly Sweet Pea pushed the fabric of your jean shorts to the side exposing no panties, and a soaked core.

“Kitten, I barely touched you and I can see from here that your cunt is dripping wet.” Sweet Pea purred.

Pea gently touched your folds and a moan escaped your lips.

“Peaaaahhhhhh” You whined.

“Use your words.” Sweet Pea growled as he stopped lightly touching your folds.

“I need more...Pea fuck me!” You whined in annoyance.

“Such a needy pretty baby.” Sweet Pea cooed as two of his fingers entered you and his thumb circled your nerve endings.

You immediately moaned out, as you were getting just what you needed. With Sweet Peas free hand he reached into his back pocket and pulled out his switchblade.

“Princess I am going to need you to stay absolutely still. I don't want to ruin that pretty cunt of yours.” Sweet Pea instructed.

"Okay Daddy" you whimpered biting your lip.

Sweet Pea removed his fingers from inside you, creating a groan to escape your mouth. He lifted the fabric covering your core and cut the fabric. Your shorts gave Sweet Pea a run for his money, as jeans are not as easy to cut as your usual leggings are. Once he cut the fabric covering your soaked, beating core Sweet Pea placed your legs on his shoulders, you felt his warm breath against your core. He began slow, barely touching you at first. He was teasing you making you need him more.

“Pea!”  You yelped in agony.

You needed him more than ever and the boy just watched you squirm trying to buck your hips towards his lips, begging for more.

“What's my name?” Sweet Pea growled against your core.

“Daddy for the love of god please do something!” You whined as your hand interlocked with his raven colored hair.

“That's my good girl.” Sweet Pea hummed as he devoured your core.

His tongue went between your folds and hit your nerve endings with a gentle use of his teeth. You bent your head back biting your lip as a deep moan left your body.

“Daddy please fuck me!” You moaned gripping his hair tighter.

“As you wish princess.” Sweet Pea growled as he lifted your legs off of his shoulders.

He toward over you and he unbuckled his pants allowing for his member to bulge from his pants. He slowly removed his briefs, and his member sprang out already as hard as a rock. He aligned his member between your folds and slowly rubbed himself against you.

“Princess you're so wet for daddy.” Sweet Pea cooed.

“Daddy please stop teasing!” You whined as you began to squirm.

Without hesitation, Sweet Pea inserted himself in you. He gave you no time to adjust, but it did not take long for you to start moaning incoherently. You gripped on the bike for life and Sweet Pea hovered his lips over yours. He began to kiss you and slowly made his way to your sweet spot on the crook of your neck. Between the sweet nothings, the kisses, and Pea rubbing your clit it did not take you long to be ready to release.

“Daddy...please let me cum!” You moaned out nuzzling your face in his neck.

“Kitten I'm right behind you.” Sweet Pea chuckled feeling you tighten around him. “Cum for me princess I’ll ride you out.”

You released into a sweet obliss as Sweet Pea continued to work his magic. Once you were ridden out Sweet Pea released inside you.

“Daddy I emptied the bed for nothing.” You pouted.

“Oh we're not done yet babydoll. When we get home, I'm going to fuck the fight out of you.” Sweet Pea growled and placed a light kiss on your lips.

[keeroo92]

Tumblr Tips You Probably Already Know

So I don’t know about you guys, but for me learning how tumblr works was a pain in the ass. I thought it might be handy to share a few tricks I’ve picked up the last few months for anyone who needs them. Bear in mind I’m still extremely new at this, and not all blogs would benefit from my amateur advice. I’m posting this just in case one of you guys are as frustrated and annoyed as I was at the beginning.

First - Adding a “Keep Reading” divider

Why to do it -  If you post a lot of longer stories, viewers will be forced to scroll through the entire post to see anything further on their feed. While this might seem like a good way to get people to read your work, it can become a hindrance if people don’t have the time to read and are forced to either suck it up and scroll, or unfollow you.

How to do it -

When you are preparing to post (Text post) just hit “Enter”. You should see a few icons on the right of where you’re currently typing, like this.

The icon on the far right will insert a divider that can be dragged to anywhere you like, and when you post it will create one of these -

Readers will need to click to view the full post. I don’t know if there’s a way to create these with any other type of post, but it’s something I learned after an Anon asked me to please use the tool. (Thank you Anon!!!)

My personal preference is to also list the word count above the cut off, so that my readers have a rough idea how much time they might need to finish reading. If you aren’t sure what your word count is, you can paste your work here and find out - https://wordcounter.net/

Some programs have something like this built in as well.

Timing your post

Why to do it - Like any site, tumblr has peaks and valleys of activity. I did a little bit of poking around and found that the most active time of day is between 4pm and 10pm Eastern. If you are trying to maximize the number of people who see your post, it may help to post during this window.

How to do it - I’m pretty terrible about dong this, but when you’re preparing a  post, you can schedule when it appears by clicking the drop down menu on the post button, here.

A small menu should open, like this.

The schedule can be annoying to work with, since it requires a specific format of date. Again, I suck at this, but I’ve noticed if it doesn’t like what I put in the post only refuses to submit.

The post will not even minimize, so you won’t lose your work. (I still recommend keeping a copy elsewhere just in case!!!) Here’s what it looks like -

This menu will also appear when you reblog a previous post, so you can schedule your reblogs with ease.

Opinions vary on whether reblogs actually do any good, but that’s for you to decide for yourselves. Both these scheduling features can be extremely helpful if you won’t be able to post for a few days (vacation, illness, etc.) but you don’t want your blog to stagnate.

Creating a Masterlist

Why to do it - Once you have a few pieces of writing posted, you want people to be able to find them, right? A Masterlist puts links to all your work in one place, like a Table of Contents. Someone just finding your blog can go through everything you’ve written to date and binge it all at once, or just a few to decide if they really want to follow you.

How to do it - Here’s a link to an in-depth tutorial. I’ll summarize below as well.

Start with a new text post. You’ll want to have an idea of how to organize your stuff in advance. I chose to do mine based off of the main pairing, but I’ve seen others go by the date of the post or type of post. You can do it however you like.

Next, list out everything you can think of. It’s fine if you don’t have a full list, you can always go back and add more later. Make sure you put everything in the right category.

Now the annoying part - linking! Every post you make has its own page, and you’ll need to copy the full URL. There’s a million ways to do it, but I just scrolled through my post history with a tag filter on and opened/copied each one in turn. It can be time consuming if you have a lot of posts, though.

Once you have the URL copied, find the line on your masterlist you want to use and highlight it.. Here’s an example.

Now, click on the little figure eight thing I circled. It’ll open a spot for you to paste the URL, like so.

Once it’s in there, click “Done” on the right side of the bubble to save the link. It’ll add a blue line under the text to show where people can click to follow the link. Repeat this until you’ve got each item linked up!

Go ahead and post it, and grab the URL for the masterlist itself. Navigate to your profile and click the little painter’s palette to edit your blog’s appearance. Mine is in the upper right corner, I don’t know if that’s standard.

On the left side of your screen, a new window should open where you can change all kinds of settings. Scroll down to find the custom link section. I’m not sure if every theme has this feature, so you may need to pick a new one to do this. Here’s what mine looks like.

Make whatever changes you like, but make sure you hit “Save�� at the top of the window. You might want to check your profile to make sure it looks the way you want it to, but that should be all you need! Be sure to update your masterlist regularly. If you ever discover a line is missing the blue line underneath to show it’s a link, that likely means the link is broken. Generally, you can fix this by redoing the URL paste step above.

A few handy sites -

https://fanlore.org/wiki/Main_Page

If you feel a bit overwhelmed by the number of fannish words you aren’t familiar with, you can find most here. Great way to deepen your understanding and also make sure you’re tagging the right genre’s!

https://prowritingaid.com/en/Analysis/WebEditor/Go

This site is amazing. They have all kinds of editing tools, too many to list in one post. The main idea here is if you want to analyze your writing, this site does it for free. There’s a 500 word limit unless you want to spend a little money, but IMO it’s worth trying out. However, it can’t tell you your style or identify deliberate grammatical errors. Take it’s advice with a grain of salt, and don’t blindly do everything it says. You will lose what makes your writing unique if you do.

https://write-it-motherfuckers.tumblr.com/

HOLY PROMPTS, BATMAN!!! Seriously, this blog has so many amazing ideas it’s ridiculous. If you want to find a new plot or crazy AU, this WILL give you ideas!

https://writeordie.com/

A great tool for breaking through writer’s block! This site allows you to set a timer and word count, and program sounds to make should you reach/miss your goal. Not for everyone, but I like it for when I have tons of ideas but just can’t settle on one. Best part is it doesn’t delete your work after the time runs out, so you can copy it anywhere you like!

https://ao3commentoftheday.tumblr.com/

This blog is fantastic for any random questions you might have regarding fanfic. They answer things from how to write a chat fic, to how to write an ASL character, to where to find references on how to write a car chase. Truly amazing stuff!

And last lil thing - HAVE FUN!!!!

(Also, sorry if this whole post reads unkindly or in a condescending tone, that is NOT how I mean any of this! I’m not perfect and still have so much to learn, honestly just wanted to share on the off chance it’s useful to someone else.)

[queenofthemindynasty]

Even If You Say ‘No’ - pt 5

Pairing: Hoseok x Fem!Reader

Summary: {Y/n}, a brilliant, young producer at BigHit Entertainment, tends to be overly self-critical of her work and scarcely gives herself credit when it’s due. Hoseok, A.K.A. J-Hope of BTS, puts so much effort into keeping up the spirits of the other members, he hardly has time to worry about his own well being. What will happen when the two cross paths?

Genre: Angst, Fluff, Idol Universe

Warnings: explicit language

Word Count: 1783

Hoseok was at a loss for what to do. He was alone now in {Y/n}’s studio after she’d bolted out of the place at lightning speed. Was that it? Had he lost her for good?

As the reality of the situation sank in when he noticed the state of the studio, he shook his head. She’d even forgotten to lock up, not to mention shut down all her equipment. At least he was capable of doing the latter for her. He scooted his chair in front of her desktop and saved her work as a new file just in case she would still want to return to the last one. The old one had been titled, “Lost_Stars_ver._5.midi,” so he gave the new one the name, “Lost_Stars_ver._♡.midi.” He paused before clicking “save,” however. {Y/n} had seemed more than a little distressed when she’d left earlier. Maybe leaving this for her to find later wasn’t such a good idea. He didn’t want to risk scaring her off completely. Deleting the heart and replacing it with a ‘6’, he clicked ‘save’ and shut down the computer.

Now what? he thought, leaning back in the chair she’d offered him. He could text her, apologising for any lines he might have crossed. No, it would probably have been best to give her some space for a bit, at least until tomorrow came. He wasn’t sure if he even had crossed a line anyway. It had seemed that way when she had fled the scene earlier. But before that, she’d reciprocated his advances. What was going on? Hadn’t he been rejected? Of course he had; she’d shoved him off of her with quite some urgency. But then why had she seemed to accept him in the beginning? Maybe she felt the same way, but there was something else holding her back. If there was, then he had definitely crossed the line by doing what he had done. God damn it, just use your words next time.

He let out a heavy breath, standing up. He’d just have to sort it out with her tomorrow.

The next morning, he woke up in the dorm at a reasonable time, just around when most of the other members were waking up. The events of the previous evening were replaying in his head on a loop. The rest of that morning in the dorm, he got ready for work with a newfound sense of urgency. He finished quickly, before most of the other members were ready to go. He didn’t want to rush them, but he wanted to leave as soon as possible.

In the car, he didn’t talk to the others. All he thought about was what he would say to {Y/n} when he’d see her. Would she even want to talk to him? What if confronting her made him come off as a creep? He wouldn’t if he just apologised, right? {Y/n} wasn’t the type to hold something against someone for long, so she’d listen to what he had to say. He chewed on his lip anxiously. Why hadn’t he just asked her how she felt from the very beginning instead of forcing himself on her?

When they arrived at BigHit Entertainment, however, the members were immediately put to work practicing choreography for the music video they’d be shooting soon. {Y/n} might not have even gotten there yet anyway since it was still pretty early. Hoseok would just have to go find her later. Maybe he could sneak out during their lunch break. No, he shouldn’t be doing that. It wasn’t reasonable to skip out on meals, not even for something like this. They’d get off work some time in the afternoon, so he could try and catch her then. She usually stayed in her studio pretty late before heading home. He’d just have to be patient.

The day went by at a snail’s pace. Several times throughout, he thought about just texting her. But every time, he reminded himself that patience, like always, would pay off, and that it would be better to talk to her face-to-face instead of through a screen.

For the duration of the day, he was fit to burst with countless emotions. There were apprehension and worry about being rejected, but also hope and excitement about the opposite and, not to mention, just seeing her. That was something to look forward to every day at work: simply being around her. He treasured the moments they stole together in Atlantas, he watching her work on a song and seeing her unparallelled dedication to her craft. She truly excelled at the things she spent her time doing in that little studio of hers. If only she could see that for herself. One day, she would.

At the end of a long day of rehearsals and shoots and meetings, Hoseok was burnt out. But just as he was getting ready to head home, he remembered he had some work to do in his studio. He’d promised Namjoon and Yoongi a week or so ago that he’d finish up a certain song so they wouldn’t have to. Tomorrow was the day he’d said he would have it finished by. A loud smack resonated from his forehead as it made contact with his palm. He groaned. His arm slumped back down to his side like it was filled with rocks. He was already exhausted. The little amount of work needed to finish up that track seemed like an impossible task. He wasn’t even thinking about seeing {Y/n} at this point as he made his way through the building to his studio. He just needed to go home and rest.

It was ten in the evening, and he was sitting down at his desk, booting up his computer while the rest of the group was probably already back at the dorm. He let out a sigh muddled with fatigue and frustration. Why had he waited until the last minute to do this? Wearily, he started up Cubase Pro, opening the unfinished track and beginning to sort through what needed polishing.

He heard a sudden noise behind him. He swiveled in his chair, and {Y/n} was standing in the doorway. “Hey,” he smiled before noticing her expression. She looked tiny with the way her body stiffened and her jaw clenched when he saw her. “Is this about what happened yesterday?” She nodded. “I’m so sorry.” He stood up to meet her at the door, making sure it was closed. “I should’ve just asked you first like any respectful person would do. I don’t know what I was thinking.”

“No…” She looked at the floor. “It’s not that.”

“It’s not?” She stayed quiet. “So why did you run away like that, yesterday?”

“Because I love you!”

She’d blurted it out so suddenly that he almost missed it. “Wait…what?”

“I’m sorry.”

So she’d just confessed her love for him after running away from him the day before, and now she was apologising? “What are you sorry for?”

“I’m sorry that you like me, too.” Her face went red and her eyes wide as soon as the words were out. “Wait, that came out wrong. Uh…” She was panicking, avoiding his eyes and looking everywhere else but at him. “I meant—just—because I’m afraid. Of what might happen. I don’t want you to get in trouble because of me, and I’m…scared the Army will think I’m some kind of slut. Which I am, really! I shouldn’t even think about being in a relationship with you; there are so many people that you’d be better off with who are all way more talented and better-looking than I am. You don’t want me. You can’t want me. I’m-”

“Stop it.”

She looked at him the moment he grabbed her hands, every part of her going still and tense.

He couldn’t believe the unadulterated shamelessness of the verbal abuse she’d just inflicted upon herself. “I hate it when you speak so little of yourself.” His focus was trained on the soft contours of her face as he kept his tone gentle and reassuring. “I like you, and everyone here at this company likes you, too. And there are lots of other people out there, but you’re the only one I’m interested in. What anyone else says about you is invalid because I think you’re beautiful. And don’t even get me started on how talented you are!” he laughed. “Point being, you are important and valuable to me. There’s no one I can think of that I could ever want instead of you.”

She hesitated before responding. “Are you sure?”

“Positive.” He squeezed her fingers affectionately in his loose grip. “I wouldn’t lie to you, I promise.”

The story of Cinderella came into Hoseok’s mind. He’d found out a while back about {Y/n}’s childhood and the people she grew up around. She’d spent her whole life prior to becoming a producer in fear of someone coming out of the blue to kick her and pull her hair and tell her how worthless she was. Even her father, despite “not having as much ill will towards her,” as she had put it, had always had some violent tendencies. She’d been alone her whole life. He recalled how in the old fairytale, Cinderella’s cruel stepmother and stepsisters had belittled her and defaced her, all for the sake of attracting the prince’s eye. But {Y/n}’s “stepfamily” had disappeared from the story the moment she had first stepped into BigHit. So why was it that they still seemed to haunt her, but now in the form of the Army? Had she really lived so much of her life being told she was less than everyone around her that she still believed it? It was as though they’d brainwashed her into never thinking about herself, or telling anyone about the terrible things she’d been forced to go through. Why did it have to be this way?

“But…” she spoke up, “I’ve never been in a relationship before. I wouldn’t know what to do. I don’t know if I’ll be able to give you what you want, what you deserve.”

He shook his head. “Doesn’t change the fact that I’m in love with you.” Nothing would ever change that. He’d learnt that after she’d been in his thoughts for more than half a year, ever since that night on the Japanese stage, when she’d reminded him how truly loved he was.

She smiled sadly. “But your fans, they—”

“Don’t have to know.”

She halted, seeming at a loss for words. Then she nodded slowly and with certain hesitance. “Okay.”

[thisselflovecamebacktome]

Kurt felt his feet scraping across the ground as he forced himself down the hallway. The last few weeks had left him feeling so small. Dave and Santana being outted, Dave’s suicide attempt, losing out on both class presidency and the main role in A West Side Story; every bit of life seemed to be weighing him down recently. And then there was Blaine.

 Ever since Blaine had enrolled at McKinley, the two of them seemed to be parting ways more as each day went past. Of course Sebastian’s arrival hadn’t helped the situation, but deep down Kurt knew those same issues had been festering for a while. At times, Kurt found himself wondering if he was mismatched with Blaine; if Blaine would be happier with someone like Sebastian, someone more… spontaneous. Or at least someone who would answer his calls. Since that night, the sheer sound of Blaine’s voice was off-putting to Kurt. All that would come to mind was his hands spreading out and grabbing at Kurt, taking as much as he could like a kid with a candy bowl. The memory left a bad taste in Kurt’s mouth; almost as bad as remembering he had apologised for rejecting Blaine’s advances. At the time, Kurt had convinced himself that Blaine was right, that he had just been spoiling the fun, but the bad taste remained nonetheless.

 The one positive that had come out of the last few weeks was that the New Directions had reunited. To the surprise of everybody, Rachel had suggested giving others a chance to sing at Nationals, as long as she got her solo of course. It did mean, however, that all choreography the group had begun to work on prior to the girls coming back now had to be changed. And with Rachel’s two left feet and Tina’s quieter nature, Kurt was called in by Quinn to help choreograph and teach the new routine.

 On better days, Kurt didn’t mind helping out. Today was not one of those days. After the hypocritical mess Blaine pulled singing It’s Not Right But It’s Okay, Kurt was in no mood to see the glee club. Regardless, both Rachel and Quinn had insisted that with Nationals coming up, every chance they can get to practice had to be used.

 As he entered the room, Kurt could all but feel the atmosphere change. Quiet whispers stopped as Finn stood up. Giving signal to the others, Kurt watched as they followed him, each one of them approaching him as Puck closed the door.

 “Why are you all acting like you’re about to give an interve… oh my god, this is an intervention, isn’t it? Look I know Blaine gave a messed up image of us but it’s not going to affect the tea…”

 “We just want to talk,” Finn interrupted, gesturing Kurt a seat.

 Kurt bit his lip before shuffling his feet over to the seat. The awkward silence continued. Filled with uncertainty, Finn’s eyes shuffled between the boys’ and Rachel’s before she sighed and spoke up.

 “What’s going on with you Kurt?”

 The others scolded the brunette’s bluntness before being reminded that no one else was willing to ask. As they begun to quarrel, Quinn shut them down.

 “What Rachel meant was is everything okay? You’ve had a tough year, not to mention everything you’re still dealing with from last year and we just wanted to check in. If our conversation after Karofsky taught me anything, it’s that none of us should assume that people are coping when they’re in strife.”

 “I’m fine.”

 The words sped out of Kurt’s mouth like a horse belting toward the finish line. Kurt could feel how untrue the statement was as he spoke the words, yet he still found himself faking a smile in hopes to convince the others. It didn’t work. As he looked over at Mercedes, her disappointment hit him, forcing him to look at the ground.

 “Honey,” she started, “the truth is you haven’t been yourself for a long time now. And it’s clear that Blaine going behind your back for the West Side Story role has made things worse, especially after his performance today. We got to hear his side, now it’s only fair we hear yours.”

 Kurt stuttered for a moment before falling silent. His head went back and forth arguing over what to say next. On one hand, this was his relationship. It wasn’t any concern, or business for that matter, of the others. Not to mention Blaine was already upset with him, why make things worse? But at the same time, they were his friends and they were there trying to help. Even Santana and Puck had shown up. Regardless, Kurt couldn’t find the words.

 “It’s nothing, I’ll fix things up with Blaine later on,” He lied before sighing, “Thank you though Mercedes, for setting this up.”

 “It wasn’t me,” Mercedes smiled, looking over at Finn.

 Kurt blinked before staring at Finn.

 “I’m your brother Kurt. I’m worried about you. Nothing you say is going to change that. I, I just couldn’t find the words to say that, so I called in these guys.”

 Silence filled the room again. Kurt find his eyes shuffling back to the ground. Mike moved next to Kurt, placing his hand on Kurt’s shoulder and assuring him it’d be alright.

 “You’re wrong about the show being the issue,” Kurt started, “Around the time the role was allocated, Sebastian came into the picture…”

 “The jerk from Daltons who was trying to get onto Blaine?” Tina enquired.

 “Yeah him,” Kurt muttered, “except it wasn’t just him trying to get Blaine. Blaine was responding and meeting up with him behind my back. The night before the opening day of the show, Sebastian invited us to some bar. Blaine spent the whole night getting drunk and dancing with him until it was time to leave. I got him to the car and he wouldn’t stop touching me. I yelled for him to stop, but he, he just wouldn’t. Eventually I shoved him off and he yelled at me before leaving, but things just haven’t been the same since.”

 “That hobbit tried to rape you?” Santana shouted.

 Kurt shook his head as he began to stutter. Being barely comprehensible, he started saying it was his fault and how he had apologised the next day. As the eyes of those around him widened, Quinn interrupted.

 “You shouldn’t have.”

 “Quinn’s right,” Puck jumped in before looking at Quinn in guilt, “It’s not your fault he tried to take advantage of you after knowing you had drunken.”

 “Actually, I was the designated driver, so I was sober.” Kurt explained.

 “Dude it doesn’t matter,” Finn said, “He doesn’t get to treat you like that.”

 Unable to find the words, Kurt fell silent. Deep down he knew Finn was right and that once upon a time, there would be no way Kurt would let himself be treated like this, but things were different now. The realisation of dying alone had plagued his mind. He didn’t expect Finn or Rachel or any of the other straight members to understand. Finding a partner for them was like finding a penny. The opportunity was always there. Hell, even Santana and Brittany didn’t have to worry because they found the love of their lives already. But he hadn’t. The two gay men Kurt knew were Blaine and Karofsky, a boy who physically assaulted him for years. The thought that he may never find love crushed Kurt, but at least Blaine was something.

 Before anyone spoke, a phone began to blare. Reaching in his pocket, Kurt noticed the number straight off, leading him to sigh.

 “That’s him now,” he started, “I should probably get going.”

 The group went to speak out, but Finn just shook his head at them. As Kurt gathered his things and started to walk out of the room, he heard Brittany’s voice come from behind him.

 “Don’t forget we love you Kurt.”

 Closing the door behind him, Kurt walked away. Once out of the building, he looked down at his phone, sighing as he pressed the number of the missed call. Before he was able to say anything, a voice cut in.

 “Where are you Kurt? I called your dad when you didn’t answer and he said Finn told him you were at a glee meeting which clearly isn’t where you are. Are you with Chandler? Is that why you refused to answer my calls? I knew Finn was threatened by my talent but to help you do this is next level petty and you dragging him into it is just as bad.”

 The voice continued rambling, cutting Kurt off as he tried to answer. Moments of incoherent rambling passed, lowering Kurt’s patience until all at once, it disappeared.

 “Blaine, stop,” Kurt started, “I’m not with Chandler. The fact that you think so little of me as to not only accuse me of that but bring the glee club into it with your performance today shows just what you think of me.”

 Stutters from the other end of the phone fell silent as Kurt pushed the red button. Stopping in his tracks, Kurt felt a sigh leave his chest. Confusion and guilt begun to set in as Kurt realised that despite his frustration, the sigh had been in relief, not despair. As the phone in his hand begun to vibrate again, he found himself clenching harder as he walked away. After minutes of nonstop ringing, Kurt hung up one final time before clicking the messaging button.

 ‘I’m sorry okay. Just give me time.’

 Disgust hit Kurt as he pressed send. He continued walking as he thought about how things had gotten so bad between him and Blaine that the person he could tell everything to had become the person he felt he had to lie most to. The phone continued to buzz as several messages came through. With his patience falling, Kurt placed his phone in his bag, making sure to do so in a way where it would not noticeably vibrate off anything else.

 As he reached his house, Kurt went straight into his bedroom, closing the door and grabbing out his phone. Upon seeing the endless stream of messages, Kurt ran his fingers through his hair, grasping then slightly yanking at it. His fingers began typing at the phone before deleting and typing again for several minutes before stopping and deleting it once more. He typed one final message.

 ‘We need to talk to someone Blaine. Meet me in Emma’s office tomorrow.’

 Before Blaine could respond, Kurt heard his door twist. Placing the phone back in his bag, Kurt stood up. The door opened, leading Kurt to relax.

 “Don’t come in unexpectedly Finn. You startled me.”

 Finn stared at Kurt in silence for a moment before speaking.

 “I just wanted to check that we’re cool after what happened. Look, I know I should have spoken to you privately before bringing in the others like that. I just didn’t know what to say. I think you need to tell Burt and my mum though, you know, about what Blaine did.”

 Kurt felt his throat tighten with each word that came out of Finn’s mouth. His eyes began scanning the room, looking for anything else to talk about. Maybe an unclean surface to attend to or homework to do. But nothing came to mind. With an awkward expression on his face, Kurt looked back at Finn.

 “We can’t tell dad. You heard about what he did to Karofsky and that was just some bully. Blaine’s my partner. He’d put him in hospital.”

 “Maybe he should.”

 Finn’s words came off louder and more abrasive than he had meant them, causing Kurt to flinch. In response, Kurt let out a sigh whilst saying Finn’s name. Another silence came over the room before Finn spoke.

 “Kurt, we’ve gotta tell someone who can help you.”

 “I don’t need help Finn. I’m fine.” Kurt lied.

 “So you’d still be calling it fine if I did that to Rachel then? Or what about if Sam did it to Mercedes? Because that definitely wasn’t the case when you were telling me that what happened to Quinn was Puck’s fault and his alone.”

 “Blaine didn’t get me drunk Finn. Plus, after what happened with Puck and Quinn, I know you’d never do that to Rachel, nor would the other guys with their girlfriends.”

 “We never thought Blaine would do that to you Kurt.”

 Finn’s words hit hard. Kurt tried to find words, but none came to him. Silence began to consume the room only to be broken by the vibrating sound coming from Kurt’s bag. Nothing was said, but the sympathetic look in Finn’s eyes made Kurt just uncomfortable enough to look away. Finn considered reaching out for Kurt’s arm before another vibrating noise from Kurt’s bad stopped him. Instead, he clenched his fist and sighed.

 “At least tell mum.”

 “You say that as if she wouldn’t just tell my dad.” Kurt said.

 “She wouldn’t,” Finn started, “She’s been here before Kurt. I mean not sexually from what I know, but when I was little she had a relationship that really messed her up, the same way Blaine is messing you up right now. She’ll be able to help… Just think about it, yeah?”

 With that, Finn walked away. Kurt sat back down on his bed, grabbing out his phone. Blaine had sent several messages stating why they didn’t need Emma involved and how everything was going to be okay. Kurt stared at the final message, a simple ‘I love you’, for several moments before placing the phone face down on the bed. Pulling himself up from the bed, Kurt walked over to the door, checking down the hallways for Finn before closing it. As the door clicked shut, Kurt felt his body slide down to the ground as began to cry.