#sorry im so normal im soooo normal ive never been through anything in my entire life im the normalest ever put your hand in my cage do it | Explore Tumblr posts and blogs

heyitsyn · 4 years ago

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Manager!Seijoh OIKS ROUTE

a/n: this,,,, is probably the angstiest out of the routes and i seem to only write angst for oikawa and i think its a problem

this is for @what-a-creative-username bc oikawa is their favorite seijoh boy so this is for you 🥺

and actually buckle your seatbelts bc this is my longest work and its the biggest mess ever :’) also, this is kinda all over the place soooo

anon:

- May we have an x Oikawa ending to the Manager AU?

- okaayyyy so this is a request for the manager series. please pleASE PLEASEEEEE- make a oikawa ending! 🥺 cuz he’s my favorite and all those times with him in the story feel like more than just friends

OMG IM SORRY BUT MY INNER OIKAWA SIMP THAT I NEVER KNEW WAS EVEN THERE STARTED TO PEAK THROUGH

so basically yea

as seen in a lot of the parts,

oikawa is very,,,, loving towards you

like his entire demeanor was just so different and so,,, authentic,,,, than the ones he shows to other females

maybe it was because you didnt want him in the beginning?

the moment he saw you, he did his first antics and he expected you to turn red and fluster and cutely shy away from him

yanno the works

yet you gave him a stony stare and denied him

ofc he was hurt and a little offended bc were you rejecting him?

hes never been rejected before and he prides himself for that but you just did and continued to do that

so he made it his mission to make you at least feel something for him

like the period part or his random proclamations of his love for you

he did it all

it didnt matter if it would bite him in the ass later because he was impulsive and he wanted you to show yourself being affected with his charms

because he was the FREAKING OIKAWA TOORU

ong this is like his validation that he is still a ladies man and has a charm that couldnt be resisted by anyone

he constantly told you that he loved you to see a reaction from you and he always was touching you whether it was just the shoulder or your hand

oikawa wanted to see you as his own personal cheerleader and you reacting to his affections would really bring him over the moon

this brings us here in the gym today

‘y/n-chan, do you want to go-’

‘oikawa-san, i dont trust you wanting to go on an innocent outing without any hidden intentions’

the team snickered and he pouted, eyes watering and curling at your side

‘y/n-chan, please? oikawa-san really wants to spend time with you~’

he begged and you finally looked up from the notebook and stared at him

god hes been much more annoying lately but you knew it was his way of letting out his anxiousness and nervousness for the incoming interhigh

so you decided to indulge him just this once and made a deal with him

‘the moment you try anything, even remotely romantic or flirty, i will leave’

you bargained but he gasped

‘what?! then what’s the point of-’

‘so you DO have hidden intentions, oikawa-san?’

you raised your eyebrow causing oikawa to quickly shake his head and detach from you

‘fine. none of that stuff, just hanging out, okay?’

he was still fussy but he accepted it

oikawa had a plan to take you to a cafe that just opened up and take you shopping and basically spoil you because girls like that, right?

they fall for boys who give them everything, right?

nope

so i read a study that surprisingly most girls arent into shopping apparently and they prefer to buy something themselves because apparently they feel indebt and dependent on men if they let them spoil them like that

idk about you but i would let oikawa spoil me tho

his plans were completely crushed when you argued with him for nearly 15 minutes to take half of your tab with the food

‘y/n-chan! i invited you out so i should pay! and boys have to pay!’

he complained, holding the other end of the tab envelope thingy but you pulled it back towards you

‘oikawa-san. you should never listen to societal normalities and instead listen and respect my wishes of paying for my half rather than going by the rules of males paying for females’

im sensing a bit of a bokuto and akaashi typa relationship between you two

oikawa shook his head and slightly stood up to lean over the table, his face approaching yours and you were slightly surprised by the sudden closeness causing you to lean back and be focused on getting away so your grip on the tab loosened

he grinned as he snatched it away from your grasp and quickly placed his card into the slot before running up to the cashier

your mouth was slacked and surprise was still written on your face even when he returned and oikawa held up a peace sign to try and lighten up

but your shock morphed into being upset

‘oikawa-san, listen here. you had-’

but he waved you off with a smile

‘no, you listen here, y/n-chan. oikawa-san loves you therefore he will give you everything in the world and all you have to do is sit there and point at whatever you want because my love will bring it to you~!’

you rolled your eyes

‘please stop being like that, oikawa-san. im not your girlfriend so dont act like my boyfriend’

he lightly scoffed, disguising it with a cough

‘y/n-chan, i dont think you understand. oikawa-san is telling you to be his good little girl and sit down. i dont understand why youre being so stubborn’

he growled softly

wHAT iS hE sAYinG

you shook your head in disbelief and stood up collecting your things making the brunette to also stand up in curiosity

‘y/n-chan? youre leaving already? i wanted to go see other places with you! i wanted to take you shopping!’

you halted and looked up at him through your long eyelashes

‘oikawa-san, i’d rather you save your money and rest your injuries instead’

you reasoned but he raised his hands in front of him to signify his wish for you to stop

‘but i want to be with you, y/n-chan’

he whispered and you blinked

‘i dont want you to spend a single dime for me after this. just you and me, oikawa-san, no money, just us’

he nodded eagerly

‘we can go anywhere you want! just,,, stay with me’

then he found himself in a bookstore with you

it was a quaint hole in the wall bookstore that you both found as you walked down the street and you excitedly dragged him inside, hand still laced together

the rows of shelves that contained different worlds in the pages were your serotonin

he watched you excitedly run to the fiction section and browsed through the different spines for anything special to check out

‘y/n-chan, i’ll go use the bathroom really quickly’

you nodded and oikawa kissed your temple before he left towards the restroom

your eyes flitted across the different titles and you snatched a book of poetry

oikawa hurriedly walked over back to you but he didnt find you at the place you were before

so he continued sifting through the mini hallways of shelves and then he stopped

it was so,,, domestic

seeing your bright eyes looking down at the book on your hands and the way your mouth slightly moved with the words

it was such a simple sight yet why did you look so beautiful?

the shimmering eyes that flittered when you came across a sentence you liked

the soft lips that kinda jutted out making his desire to feel it increase that he would give anything to feel on his own

you were so focused that you didnt notice him moving behind you and wrapping his arms around your waist, only noticing his head resting on your shoulder

‘’come, my darling, it is never too late to begin our love again’’

he mumbled to your ear and you released one hand from the book to grasp his arms that were around your middle

‘you read poetry?’

you whispered and oikawa chuckled

‘of course. a man as romantic as I am ought to be a poet’

he reasoned and you laughed

‘yet you fail to sway me, oikawa-san’

‘no, there is a difference. you dont want my love but i know you want to be loved by me, i can assure you!’

you swiftly placed the book back on its former place and you turned around to swing your arms around his neck

‘hmm,,,, love was never something for me. especially with you boys around’

oikawa looked down to see your shorter height and he caressed your hip

‘i love you, y/n, so let me love you the way you deserve to be’

he whispered not understanding the weight of his words and you looked down to hide the growing blush on your face before burying your face into his sweater-clad chest

‘so not fair oikawa-san’

you mumbled against the fabric but he heard it and he bursted into giggles

‘ehh~~ youre not being the fair one, y/n-chan! youre make it so hard to not fall for you when youre so beautiful~!’

he whines and you rested your chin on him so you could look up at him and your pout made him squeeze you tighter

‘hah?! that doesnt make sense! im nothing but a mess of-!’

you started but was cut off when he kissed your nose and whispered:

‘but what a beautiful mess you are’

okay so i know this is the saddest one out of the routes but ive just been serving fluff so the angst is coming soon!!!!!!

once you both were finished in the bookstore, you suggested going to this hill that allowed you to see the stars clearer

‘hmm, oikawa-san, there’s this place that natsu used to take me to whenever he wanted to see the stars so i think you’d like it’

you mentioned while walking on the sidewalk

oikawa’s hand was clutching yours and you were swinging it back and forth while lightly skipping and kicking the rocks

he watched you, amused, at how child-like you were acting right now but he was also touched, knowing your knowledge of his love for space

‘sure!’

the night sky allowed the stars to light up and you both shared giggles and laughs as the two of you stumbled over your feet with no light except from above

however once you made it to the top of the hill, oikawa pulled you close to him as you huddled on a seated position

‘how’d you know i would like this, y/n-chan?’

he asked and you gave him an obvious look

‘hah? its so obvious! you keep drawing the cancer constellation on your skin and you had an astrology book in your bag that you were also reading in the bus’

your answer brought warmth inside him and he never thought you were so perceptive of him

you noticed every little thing he does and hes,,,, never had someone do that before

except for iwa and his family and team, no one knows of his little ticks and the way he becomes obsessive of a topic once he gets interested in it

you noticed it all

‘that right there, its the big dipper!’

you pointed and he followed the direction of your finger before nodding

‘yep! waaahhh its much prettier seeing it higher up than my roof!’

he exclaimed and your gaze left the constellation towards the boy beside you

‘really,, pretty’

you absentmindedly muttered yet he was sharp and heard you

‘but its different to look at something much more beautiful’

this caused you to quickly go back to looking at the stars so you missed his love-filled eyes

‘i want to name my children by constellations. so that they can keep the oikawa legacy going forever like constellations being at the sky for all eternity. or naming it after the sky! then i can make sure theyre never going away’

he said and you nodded

you kept pointing out different shapes and laughing at his funky claims of what some stars connected to and created

‘oikawa-san, lets go to the star festival later’

you offered and he in turn looked away from you, turning red at the way the small lights illuminated your face and somehow making it more,,,, angelic

so he covered it up with his own teasing

‘oh? the meeting of the two lovers?’

you dont know why but your cheeks burned at the mention of the ‘L’ word and oikawa noticed, quickly poking fun of your cheeks

‘oh, y/n-chan, dont be so shy!’

you pouted and turned away

‘never mind’

oikawa’s laugh rang throughout the space and he pulled you closer, practically sitting on his lap, while pointing out the stars and him pressing kisses to your cheeks

the intertwining of your fingers combined with the kisses made you feel as if you were floating with how free you felt

and you loved every moment of it

after that outing with your captain, you were conflicted

it wasnt the first time he’s openly said he loved you and his shower of affections have been there since the very beginning

yet how come you were just now feeling,,,,, different??

you were sure you felt an odd feeling inside you when he said your name with no usual suffix and it wasnt just the food that didnt agree with you

whenever his lips came in contact with your skin, it left blazing trails of red that spread out as far as it could

the heartbeat that quickened once he kissed your forehead at your doorstep and the grin you last saw when you closed the door

or the unknown smile that you didnt know you had on until natsu, who was visiting, pointed it out

‘darling, why are you just standing there? and why are you smiling like that? its weird, stop it’

you didnt even have the attitude to scold him and you giggled before twirling and holding his hand

‘oh, natsu~ i want to dance! and sing!’

you shouted, taking him with you and dancing around the living room

tbh natsu was very worried but he remembered you mentioning that you were meeting some guy today and it might be the reason as to why you were acting like this

he was happy

you deserved to be loved as you are and you were finally getting that love

but,,,,,,,,,

it didnt last long

albeit having a lot of fun, oikawa seemed,,,, off to you

it was,,, awkward

maybe it was because you were now aware of some type of growing attraction inside of you or every little thing he does to you could send you into shapeshifting and channeling your inner tomato

forget potato, youre now a tomato

but even his touches and affections were now limited

restricted

like the the next time you both saw each other, you shyly but happily bounded up to him and greeted him good morning

but his eyes widened, taking a step back before laughing awkwardly

‘ah ha ha, hey y/n-chan’

oikawa greeted then side-stepped to enter the gym

god you felt like you were slapped in the face

you remained frozen, staring at the spot he previously occupied and your mind was running quickly

was it because your senses were now heightened that everything made you extra sensitive?

usually, oikawa would squeal at the fact you were even greeting him this morning but he literally just walked away from you

no, you were just,,,,

overreacting

right?

yea, just,,,

overreacting

iwa noticed your downcast expression and he had a feeling it had something to do with oikawa’s off expression

you hurriedly placed your bag down and took out your notebook to start taking notes for their practice

big boy ace went up to you and placed a hand on your arm which caused you to flinch

he immediately backed off, letting go and stepping back

‘wh-hey? y/n? you okay? did something happen?’

he worriedly asked but you shook your head, not even bothering to meet his eyes

‘uh-yea. mhm, perfectly fine’

you lied and he wanted to press further but mattsun and makki called you over to check out their blocks so you ran to them

but he had a feeling you were just taking every opportunity to not answer his questions

while you were pre-occupied with the meme team, iwa marched up to oiks and tugged him around to fully talk to him

oikawa watched your interaction and he knew iwa would immediately start questioning him too

‘oi, what the hell did you do’

there was an underlying tone in his best friend’s voice that he didnt particularly like

oikawa did what he does best and plastered a smile on his face

‘hm? what do you mean, iwa-chan?’

‘what the hell do you mean what do i mean? you speak japanese dont you? so tell me what the hell happened during your date because it seems like shit happened and now youre both acting weird’

oikawa flinched at the blunt words but it was the truth

he was acting weird and this caused you to probably act weird too

god hes so dumb

but he,,, was going through stuff right now

it was a situation that he didnt want to involve you in

and,,, seeing you dancing with natsu with the biggest smile on your face through the window of your house

okay guys dont think this is weird or stalker-ish bc i actually saw this in a kdrama ages ago and i thought it was just so sweet and cute and dont take it the weird and stalker creepy way :(

it certainly brought him pain

this was what he wanted though, right?

he wanted to see a reaction from you with his antics and he wanted to see you flustered and giggling like one of his lovestruck girls

but dear god that was when he became aware of your growing feelings

oikawa even saw it before you did with the way you gave him those longing stares and small smiles and the small squeezes of his hand when he would laugh

initially, he wouldve teased you for it but then he kept quiet

this entire time he knew you, he felt,,, love,,, for you

and by god, he was so scared

he wanted to run away

because he was well aware of his personality and him as a person

he could make you smile the biggest and the happiest but he was also the type to make you feel the most pain and cause the deepest wounds on your already fragile heart

he didnt want that responsibility and burden

it was too risky

oikawa knew he was a ticking time bomb and he was afraid if you got even just a centimeter closer

you would be the one hit with the blast the most

maybe it was that sight that made him want to distance himself

it was a sight that made him realize that you deserved someone much better and that someone couldn’t be him

the happiness that danced in your eyes and the smile that decorate your beautiful face

can you imagine the irony?

the moment you notice of your growing feelings, the moment he decides to withdraw and pull away

.......

practice was,,, suffocating?

the team knew of the tension these past few days and you both def were not the same

oikawa has not said he loved you or even pestered you once and as much as the guys hated seeing it, they were getting worried

did you both fight?

what happened?

when oikawa was talking with the coach and you were grabbing something from the storage room, they immediately took this chance to pounce on iwaizumi since he was the closest to the both of you

‘oi, iwaizumi, the hell happened?’

makki asked and the others nodded, wondering the same thing

but they were surprised when he shrugged

‘dont know. stupidkawa refuses to talk and i dont want to bother y/n bc she seems,,, weird about it’

if iwaizumi didnt know, then something serious did happen

you and oikawa continued this weird eggshell walking and you even gave up after trying to ask so many times on what was wrong and only to be answered with,

‘nothing~! y/n-chan should never have to worry her pretty little head about old me~!’

that answer didnt bother you

it was his smile

the genuine smile that you were so happy to receive as it was only for you

now seems gone and replaced with his fake one as if you now became one of his fangirls

what took the cake was his appearance to practice with a girl in his arm

they were both laughing and seemed trapped in their own little bubble to even notice the team’s wide eyes and concerned looks to you

you didnt even notice your teary eyes until mattsun quite literally picked you up and shouted he wanted to help you fill up the water bottles

he placed you outside, sitting on a bench by the gym

you were biting your lip and staring at the ground while he was leaning back and looking at the sky

‘the sky is very pretty today’

he complimented but it wasnt heard by you

you only came back to reality when he nudged you gently and you shot him a crooked smile but he sighed at the look of hurt written all over your face

‘oh, y/n, i am getting increasingly worried for our generation. theres so many sad eyes on happy faces’

he tutted and returned to gazing back up to the clouds

you scrunched your nose and scoffed

‘i dont understand you, mattsun-san’

you mumbled and fiddled with your fingers

mattsukawa issei shook his head and pointed above

‘y/n-chan, our eyes enables us to identify beauty and we have the urge to immediately capture it to remember that we did find something beautiful. yet, we feel hopeless as we cant to put the beauty on paper because we are only given one crayon to draw the sunset’

it felt all muddled

there was no sense in his words and you were sniffed, trying to understand

‘mattsun-san, did you eat any more of those candy makki-san bought from that one guy?’

he bursted into laughter and you couldnt help but quirk your lip at the sound of his joy

‘who knows? taka is my boy and i trust him so if he gave it to me, then,,,, it cant be that bad, right?’

you blanched

‘mattsun-san! im not about to go pick you up from the er again just because makki-san dared you to do something!’

mattsun finally wandered his eyes over to you and he tucked a stray piece of hair behind your ear

‘thats the thing with you, y/n-chan. youre quick to love others but you lose pieces of yourself in the process. i have no right to tell you who deserves it but please ask yourself, is that sacrifice worth it?’

you knew he wasnt talking about your love for the team

but for the love for a certain setter that didnt go unnoticed by the middle blocker

leave it to mattsun to make you laugh and you were letting out your last giggles as you stepped into the gym

oikawa stopped talking and focused on the two of you,

more specifically,

you

he watched as you laughed and swatted mattsun’s elbow as he jokingly made fun of your height by resting his arm on top of your head

yes this was what it was supposed to be

you deserved someone who could make you smile and only smile

he doesnt even hesitate but even imagine the tears that would fill those beautiful eyes and he knows it would all be his fault

he will stop that from happening way before it would occur

he will do anything to make sure you will never cry because of him so he will distance himself and now, he gives up

it could just be his stress and insecurities talking but he knows right now,

he wants you away from him

oikawa tooru, the boy who could get anyone he wants, couldn’t get the girl he wishes for the most

dear god was it laughable

after practice was finished,

you quietly and quickly packed up the nets and picked up the balls to get yourself out of there

these past few days made you feel so much confusion that it hurts

if there was anything worse than him not talking to you,

it was not knowing why

that curiosity and desperate need for answers creates wild and self-destructive theories

did you chew too loudly when you ate?

were you boring and not as fun as the others?

was he angry and humiliated of his pride as a man when you scolded him for paying for you?

has he gotten tired of you now that he knows who you really are?

that last question suddenly created a new set of tears to appear

throughout the day, you were so composed and distracted yourself with the lectures of your teachers and not anything of why this certain brunette was avoiding you

but a single insecure question made that wall crumble and you hurriedly shoved the trolley of balls into the storage room and grabbed your bag before rushing out of there

you sniffled and hurriedly walked home so you could go and cry on your bed in peace

but ofc

hiroshi natsu exists so ofc he distracted you when you entered the house with a red puffy face

quietly, he led you to the couch and he wordlessly grabbed a tissue box from the coffee table to dab away the tears

you sniffled and clenched your fists to will yourself to stop these dumb salty water drops

‘i cant tell you its going to be okay because i dont want you to cling on to false hope. but i know it hurts. its worse that of all people, oikawa tooru had to be your first ever crush’

he chuckled

you took a shaky breath and wiped your face

‘this was why i shouldnt have liked him. god! all we did was eat dinner and look at the stupid fcking sky! thats it! so why-! why do i suddenly like him?! AM I THAT DESPERATE?!’

you wailed and blew your nose while natsu patted your back

‘i mean,,, to others it sounds like youre easy to sway’

you looked up from the tissue to glare at him but he continued

‘but to me,,,, it sounds like it was just the last push you needed to finally see oikawa tooru in that way’

you nodded, laughing weakly

‘i dont know why im acting like a lunatic like this. hes just a crush anyway so it’ll probably fade in a day or two so bear with me until then, kay?’

but his grim shake of his head gave you no hope

‘rather than fade, it will grow. and i might have to bear with this for the rest of our lives. now you be a bad bitch and sit there and look fine as hell while i go order 10 boxes of pizza and load up teen moms’

the impromptu movie night distracted you a little bit from it all but you still couldn’t help but think about it

GOD WHY WAS NATSU SO DRAMATIC?!

BECAUSE OF THAT IDIOT YOU ARE NOW SITTING IN CLASS, BAGS UNDER YOUR EYES, AND BREAKING YOUR PENCILS IN HALF

all you have to do is make sure you think of oikawa doing something disgusting to make that attraction fade away

oikawa licking his toes

oikawa licking his-

‘y/n?’

you snapped out of your daydream when kunimi reached out to you

kindaichi, who came over for lunch, and him were staring at you in concern and they shared a look

‘y/n, something must’ve happened that day with captain’

kunimi started but kindaichi snapped

‘see?! this is why we shouldve never let you go! the first time you go with him and now youre a mess! tell us! did he force himself on you?! did he-?!’

you stopped the onion top boy with a forced smile and a squeeze on the arm

‘o-oikawa-san would never do that, kindaichi. hes better than that’

‘but clearly not because look at you!’

he shouted and you flinched

kunimi hurriedly knocked him to the floor

‘get ahold of yourself, kindaichi’

he mumbled and you stood up and walked to the bathroom at the west wing that nobody uses so you could freely cry without any suspicion

was it obvious?

was it clear that you have been a mess after a week of being ignored by oikawa?

nah, youre just being a dramatic little shit

youre sticking to your word of quickly forgetting about the whole ordeal

but you definitely cant if your nightmare was happening before your eyes

as you approached the bathroom from the end of the hallway,

you saw an unknown girl but an all too familiar boy giggling and rushing to get inside the bathroom

and for good measure, oikawa looked around to make sure no one was there but then he saw you

despite the distance between you, he could see your glistening eyes from the sunlight that seeped in from the big windows

he saw the way your hand trembled and your eyes twitched when haruna poked her head out to see why he was still outside

‘oikawa-senpai~~’

she drawled out and reached a manicured nail to his wrist

your eyes followed her touch and then you and the boy shared eye contact

through the watery eyes, he could clearly make out your silent plead

please dont go to her

please

stay with me

dont go

but he went in anyways

------

that was the moment you forced yourself to not think about him anymore

as if you werent even working your hardest lately, you will work your hardest now

everything between you and him was now strictly professional as practice that day signified the very first day of your moving on stage

you couldnt believe these past 2 weeks has been a real nightmare yet you were slowly waking up from it

there was nothing you could do about it bc oikawa obviously didnt mean anything he said to you and maybe thats what ticked you off the most

you were easily led on

he blindly tugged you along the moment you saw his smile

he definitely thought of you as just as a game and when he finally got tired and bored, he dropped you and went to another

kunimi and kindaichi noticed the coldness of your eyes and the stoic expression on your face and they were genuinely terrified of you so they didnt want to ask any questions

even with packing up, you aggeressively shoved everything in your bag and the blep boy finally gained the courage and nervously tapped his finger on your desk to gain your attention

you swiftly dropped in your pencil case and looked at him

‘what’

he flinched at the cold tone and his eyes showed concern

‘uh-i-are you okay?’

he slowly asked and you visibly clenched your jaw but you nodded anyways

‘never better’

you didnt bother waiting for him to finish packing up and even passed kindaichi by the door as you were walking towards the girl’s locker room to change into your manager outfit

your entrance to the gym made the noise die down and you noticed the third years with glares on and aggressively practicing

‘whats wrong with all of you’

you asked and iwa scoffed before shaking his head and opening his arm

‘cmere. i missed you’

he said and ngl you were a little confused bc this wasnt something iwa usually did but you still stuck to his side

‘why-’

‘he told me what happened’

iwa whispered and you stiffened in his arms

‘w-what?’

iwaizumi flung the boy to his own bedroom wall

he huffed, panting at both the weight of oikawa tooru and the intense anger that burned through his veins

‘you-you are a piece of shit!’

he shouted and he moved to grab oikawa’s collar and lifted him so the brunette could see the fire and disgust present in his olive eyes

‘you think i didnt see what the hell you did? fcking leaving y/n sobbing as you-you-! AGH!’

iwaizumi couldnt even finish his sentence as he was so angry that he harshly sent oikawa flying back down to his floor

oikawa was crying

not from the beating

but from his regrets

god he knew he messed up

he shouldnt have done it

but he did

iwa ran his hands through his hair and angrily sat on his best friend’s bed, eyes shooting daggers at oikawa

‘right now. tell me the truth right fcking now or so help me god’

he hissed

oikawa tooru shuffled closer to the wall and brought his knees up to his chest

‘im so scared’

he sobbed

‘im so scared, iwa-chan’

his tears were pouring down and he brought a hand to muffle his cries

‘i-i just w-wanted to-to see something out of her. li-like a reaction! because she wasnt like th-the others! but instead i fell in love! me! and she did too!’

he pointed and quickly stood up, pacing and gripping his hair

‘it was all just for fun! she-she knows im like that! yet she still fell in love with me!’

‘how could you tell she-’

‘BECAUSE OF HER EYES!’

even iwa flinched

‘HER EYES SHOWED ME LOVE! HAPPINESS! AN-AND YOU KNOW WHAT SHE DID?! WHEN SHE GOT HOME?! THROUGH HER WINDOW, I SAW HER DANCING! SO HAPPY SHE WAS DRAGGING THAT BASTARD COUSIN OF HERS AROUND! I DID THAT! I CAUSED THAT!’

there was so much confusion in this poor spiky haired boy bc he knew oikawa was in love with their manager so why is he avoiding her now even though she reciprocates those feelings?

‘im missing something here, oikawa. youre telling me, she loves you, but youre here regretting that?’

his tone of disbelief made oikawa shut his eyes in frustration

‘DONT YOU UNDERSTAND?! YOU CALL ME A PIECE OF SHIT EVERYDAY AND I KNOW THAT! I FCKING KNOW THAT IM A PIECE OF SHIT AND A FCKING BASTARD!’

he shrieked

thankfully, his family wasnt home currently to see him breakdown

‘SO WHY THE HELL DO I DESERVE A LITERAL ANGEL?! A GODDESS?! A BEAUTIFUL PERSON FOR ME?! A FCKED UP NARCISSIST EGOTISTICAL IDIOT?! AN IDIOT WHO’S TOO PRIDEFUL TO GET THE HELP HE NEEDS?! I COULD HURT HER! I COULD DESTROY HER IN A SINGLE SNAP! THE SCARIEST FACT IS I COULD DO IT WITHOUT THINKING! I COULD SAY THE WORST THINGS TO HER AND IM SO SCARED THAT I WILL HURT HER! I DONT DESERVE HER, IWA! SHE DESERVES SOME-SOMEONE LIKE YOU! AND IT HURTS TO THINK THAT BUT I DONT CARE! A-AND WHAT IF WE GET TOGETHER?! HM?! HOW LONG DO YOU THINK IT WOULD TAKE HER TILL SHE FINDS SOMEONE BETTER?! HOW MUCH CAN SHE TAKE OF GOING THROUGH EPISODES OF SOME DEPRESSED, INSECURE, PRIDEFUL ASHOLE LIKE ME?! HOW LONG DO YOU THINK SHE WOULD REALIZE HER SELF-WORTH AND KNOW HOW MUCH OF A SHITTY PERSON I AM?! I CANT-!’

iwaizumi pushed himself up from the bed and rushed to grab his best friend before forcing the brown haired boy to his chest

oikawa tooru was having a panic attack

he heaved and wheezed and loudly let out his cries and iwa made them sit on the floor where he could comfortably cry

‘youre such an idiot, tooru. but she knows that, doesn’t she? she knows who you are, what you are, how you are, your flaws, everything- she knows all that. yet she still fell for you, doesnt that tell you something? for once in your life, consider other people’s feelings before yours. y/n is one hell of a girl and i wont allow you to let her slip past you just like that. i know- we all know- how much of a broken person you are, oikawa, and it hurts us all to know that no matter what we do, we can never fix you. but y/n-gosh, y/n is the only person to even have a chance to do that. and you admitted that youre depressed and you have a problem? well,, get some help for that, oikawa. the first step to be better is by accepting the only person who can accept you for you’

iwaizumi didnt reveal to the other third years of what happened but just said that oikawa did a really terrible thing to you and hes currently repenting for it

however mattsun and makki pretended they didnt hear oikawa regretting it and focused on the fact that the captain even had the NERVE to hurt you

iwa squeezed you tightly and you returned the hug

but he whispered something in your ear

‘everyone makes mistakes, y/n. the only thing we can do is to repent for them’

you pulled away, about to ask him what hes talking about but one look from his eyes made you realize what he was talking about

he mustve known what happened but hes defending him

you clenched your jaw and looked away

‘i destroyed myself for a stupid reason and its one of my regrets. im not going to make the same mistake twice’

you quietly hissed and moved to your station by the bench to begin taking your notes

you noticed that oikawa was late for practice today and although you kinda hate him, you are still a manager first and he was one of your responsibilities

you were about to go to the coach and tell him you’d look for the setter when the gym door slid and in came the devil himself

but there was a large bruise on his cheek and a cut on his lip

your feet moved quicker than the rest of you that you were in front of him in a second

‘what happened to you’

you worriedly asked and oikawa just stared at you

his eyes shook and watered at the sight of you

this was the first time you talked to him without any coldness in your tone and he missed it

he missed hearing you

his silence made you roll your eyes and you roughly grabbed his arm before throwing him on the bench you were sitting on

the team watched, on edge of whats happening, but was put back to practice when you gave them a side-eye

your fingers opened the ointment and your kit to treat the bleeding lip and the swollen side of his face

‘youre the captain. its not wise to fight before practice and be late. youre hindering everyone else’

you coldly scolded and oikawa shrank back

‘it was iwa-chan’

he mumbled and you stopped and quirked an eyebrow

‘what? why did he-’

then you froze

iwa knew

and he beat oikawa up for it

he fought his best friend for it

and iwa didnt look fazed at all

despite being a muscle freak, iwa was very soft and his iron defiency made him prone to bruising

yet why was he so clean

it was like iwa hit oikawa but in turn, the other didnt fight back

you must stop

youre overthinking again and youre over analyzing it and youll end up at the place you were before

however

oikawa noticed the dawn of realization on your face and he shakily reached out to touch your hand

‘i,,, didnt. because i deserved it. i-’

he sniffed and you knew he would start crying right now

the last thing he wanted would be to cry in front of the others so you immediately stood up and went to the coach

‘coach, oikawa-san needs treatment that i dont currently have with me. i would need to take him to the infirmary’

he nodded and waved you off so you had the clear

oikawa flinched when you harshly grabbed his arm and pulled him up so he could follow you out the door

it was such an awkward silence between you both but you bit your lip, focusing on the fact that you were just doing this bc he was your obligation

it was like you threw him to one of the cots then you rummaged through the medicine cabinet for an extra cotton ball and a better ointment

‘i fcked up, y/n’

your movements halted and your eyes drifted down, looking at the tiled floor

‘i messed up so bad’

he hoarsely said and you could tell how much pain he was going through by the way he let out a shaky breath

‘oika-’

you made a move to turn around but he stopped you

‘no! dont look at me! just-just dont,,, i cant-i wont be able to say it if i look at you’

he cried and you nodded

oikawa leaned his forehead on his intertwined hands with his eyes on the floor before starting

‘i want to say im sorry. because everything, all of this, it all started as a game to me’

you closed your eyes tightly, tears welling up in your eyes

‘you,,, you didnt bat a single eyelash at me. you didnt try to please me, you didnt chase after me, no, you didnt see me like that. it made me,,, i dont know,,, confused,,, that girls like you even existed. it,,, not gonna lie, ticked me off and i was offended that you brushed me away so easily like i was some,, some bug on your shoulder. so,,, i wanted to see,,, and try,,, if i could make you,,, like me. and i know! i know its messed up but god y/n i swear i didnt want to hurt you. i just,,, i wanted to see if i could ever make you look at me like the way they did but it backfired. i wanted you to chase me but in the end, i ended up chasing after you. i chased and i ran without knowing that you were slowing down for me so i could catch you. that,,, that date made me realize of how,,, how perfect and beautiful you are a-and how unworthy i am to even receive anything from you. i saw how happy you were after that, dancing, twirling that poor idiot around. at first,, it made me so so proud. and so happy that i made you do that. i put those stars from the sky into your eyes and somehow you made them shine much brighter. then,,,, i got scared. i started thinking about,,, about me. and how i am. ive been trying so hard to please other people that ive lost sight of the real me and how terrible i am. and y-you! i just- y/n its so hard for me to explain all this right now- my current mental state, the pain on my face- i cant,,, but at that moment i realized that you,,, you were better off without me. youre so kind, so beautiful, so smart, you could go do so many good things in life. and im just going to hold you back. i didnt want to hurt you so i,,, chose to just cut the string now and,, we wont get hurt later. but,,, i regret it. i regret it so much, y/n. all my life,,, everyone cooed and awed at this child just because of how he looked like and,,, he got used to it. everyone wanted me because i am oikawa tooru but they didnt want the entire oikawa tooru. iwa,,, iwa hit it into my head that,,, you,, were the only one who bothered to even see that side of me’

when he finished, he looked up but gasped at the sight of you standing in front of him

fat tears were rolling down your face and you wore the angriest expression

‘i-,,,i hate you so much, oikawa tooru’

you seethed

your eyebrows were scrunched up together and your nostrils flared as you cried harder and you let out a cry

‘i hate you, i hate you, i hate you’

you chanted and oikawa saw his vision cracking

his world was now falling apart

he did the last thing he would ever do and you were now at your most pained moment

‘youre so selfish, impulsive, and terrible’

you whined and punched his shoulder at each word

‘but i love you so much. i hate you because you made me cry and made me feel so hurt but i still love you. why-why cant you stop playing your games, tooru? stop playing with me now! stop it! stop-!’

you didnt get to say anything else because he grabbed your waist and held you in his arms

it was like you didnt even weigh a thing by the way he lifted you to sit on his lap and he gently led your face to his neck

‘im so sorry’

he repeated constantly while brushing your hair and rubbing your waist

you and oikawa tooru spent an hour sitting on that bed just crying

after a while, you stopped and resulted to just hiccuping

‘youre selfish, tooru. you listened to yourself and did whatever you wanted rather than talking to me. i hate you but i,,, i love you, oikawa-san. i shouldnt say that but if i dont, im afraid you’ll go ahead and do something stupid again’

he chuckled but he squeezed you tighter

‘i dont,,, want to let you go, y/n-chan. let me be selfish a little longer and love you all to myself’

and by god did he become selfish

it took you a while to get over your defensive and guarded actions from him but you were slowly finding yourself forgiving him

YO IM SORRY BUT I WOULDVE DROPPED HIM LIKE PLEASE WHAT THE HECK Y/N REALLY REALLY LOVES THIS GUY

natsu absolutely despises him still and whenever oikawa even comes over, hes always glaring at him and oikawa would shift uncomfortably but accept it bc he deserved it

‘i didnt realize how badly i hurt you, y/n. i could never imagine you accepting me still. ill spend the rest of my life making it up to you’

he promised and you laughed

you were both lounging on your bedroom floor, mean girls playing in the background, while just staring at the ceiling

you brought your clasped hands up so you could look at it

then a goofy smile settled on your face and you turned to look at him

‘just continue loving me, oikawa-san. thats all i ask for’

then graduation came

of course the boys were all teary but oikawa seemed even more sad and he refused to look at you the whole day

you figured it could just be him being mopey over not seeing you everyday like he was able to before

then you both were walking home and he still hasnt looked at you

the silence was killing you but you just kept a tight grip on his hand and he would smile at you and kiss your hands

it still didnt wash away the odd feeling in your stomach but you would talk to him later after you gave him present

for the weekend, you were able to convince your parents to go on a beach trip at okinawa while you made natsu go over to tokyo and stay with katsuki

oikawa didnt know your family was out so he stood by your door, waiting for you to enter

you both stood there, staring at the floor, not knowing what to say

until you softly grabbed his hand

‘come in. i want,,, to talk’

you mumbled and oikawa’s eyes widened, silently panicking that you possibly found out

it was a secret not even iwaizumi knew so you couldnt have known

right?

you led him up to your room and pushed him down to sit on your bed

FLKDSJFLKDJ WHY AM I DOING THIS WHAT IS HAPPENING SOSOSOSOSOSOSOS

ALSO Y/N IS NOW 17 ON THIS YOU GUYS LIKE BLS SHES ONE OF THE OLDEST IN HER CLASS BC HER BIRTHDAY SITUATION SO SHES BEYOND THE AGE OF CONSENT IN JAPAN, RIGHT?

oikawa was confused and he watched you bite your lip and look off to the side

‘y/n-chan? why are you nervous? you said you wanted to talk?’

he asked

but you unzipped your skirt and let it drop on the floor

‘for graduating,,, and working hard for these years,,, im giving you this’

you finally met his eyes

then he knew

oikawa blanched and he quickly stood up and placed his hands on your shoulder

‘y-y/n! uh-i-are you sure? a-arent you-’

‘accept it, tooru. youre,,, my first love,,, so,,,, ill give you my other first’

KSDLFJSDKFJSDLK OKAY YALL LETS STOP THERE FOR NOW AND GO TO THE TIMESKIP OKAY?

OKAY

-----

oikawa was running in the airport

despite the shouts of civilians he accidentally pushed, he made no sign of stopping and if anything, ran faster till he reached outside

the rush of his sudden trip home was clear as he was only carrying a duffel bag full of clothing he hurriedly stuffed inside

when he met the orange ninja boy in brazil, he quickly caught up with his underclassman and got drinks to talk about japan the last 2 years of his career

they both got simple beers and some appetizer to share as they reminisced the past

hinata was excitedly talking about the reconciliation of kindaichi and kageyama and how they were still enemies on court but were now friends

‘eh~? tobio-chan making up with kin-chan? what’s next? flying sushi?’

he joked and hinata laughed

‘it was partly of your manager, oikawa-san! she helped them make up!’

the previous smile on oikawa’s face slipped at the mention of you

‘hmm,,,, she always made the impossible happen’

he mumbled and hinata nodded

‘l/n-chan became close to kageyama through kindaichi and kunimi and she would bring us food and stuff too! but only on times she wasn’t busy’

the ninja said and dipped his chip into the salsa while oikawa stared at the liquid

‘you guys must be special for her to go all the way to karasuno’

then hinata said something that caused the brunette’s ears to fall deaf to the loudness of the bar

‘it wasn’t a problem since coach ukai took care of her son’

oikawa didnt even give hinata another word when he rushed out of that bar after overcoming his shock and straight into his apartment

there were tears that blurred his vision as he shoved in shirts and pants and other necessities for a trip to japan

he argued with the front desk lady to give him a ticket to the earliest flight to japan despite her saying that it was hard to give him a seat when the plane was full

but luck seemed to pity this baby daddy as someone pulled their ticket out and he was able to take it for himself

it was the longest journey of his life and his hour long layover gave him an opportunity to call the only person he thought would even know where you were

iwaizumi

oikawa paced at the waiting lobby with his phone pressed to his ear as he listened to the ringing of his call

he bit his lip in anticipation and ran his fingers through his hair for the upteenth time until finally it was picked up

‘damn you, shittykawa, do you understand what time-’

‘iwaizumi, is y/n still in japan?’

of course his best friend was startled with the question as the setter hasnt asked him any question related to you in a few years

‘wha-how the hell am i supposed to know that? im in california, oikawa’

‘dont lie to me. she still talks to you since youre probably the godfather of my son’

he hissed and iwaizumi was now fully awake and his heartbeat was beating quite quickly

how did he figure out

‘oi, oikawa, listen to me she-’

‘please! dont!’

he shouted and didnt care if he startled anyone else around him

‘dont lie to me! of all people! you dont lie to me!’

‘why should i tell you when you were the one who up and ran? huh?’

oikawa fell silent and iwaizumi could hear his sobs through the phone

iwa sat up on his bed, leaning against the wall as he contemplated revealing this secret you begged him to keep since his best friend sounded like he was on the verge of breaking apart

poor oikawa tooru already suffered so much

‘i swear youre going to make me regret this. but y/n is in,,,, tokyo and,,,,, she,,,,,, didnt want you to know about,,,, about everything. well-she did want to tell you but she had her own reasons not to and,,, and its perfectly valid for her to choose whatever she wanted. and yes, i knew and yes, i am his godfather but please, oikawa, whatever you do, dont go to japan, you understand? shes still hurt by it, idiot, and shes angry and you sound angry and-’

but of course,

oikawa didnt listen and he hung up but continued his pacing but this time, tears blurring his vision

the taxi driver noticed his frazzled expression and quickly stopped in front of him

oikawa gratefully hopped in and quickly told the driver the address he forced out of iwaizumi (with great reluctance)

‘this is the last time, understand me, tooru? youve already hurt her so many times and i cant bear to see it all over again so you need to fix it. but you mess this up again, not only will you lose her, you’ll lose me too’

the old man felt sorry for the young lad and stepped on the pedal to get him to his destination in the quickest time

the apartment building was several stories tall yet the elevator ride felt like a snap when he finally arrived at the floor your apartment was supposedly on

what the real kicker was when he stood outside your door and he hesitated

would you let him in?

would you even want to see him?

would you punch him?

would you cry?

he was so worried but didnt realize that he already pushed the doorbell and a faint shout from inside made his heart jump

‘UNCLE KYOOoooo,,,,,’

the door opened and the boy’s voice went quiet, knowing this wasnt the man he was expecting and he quickly and harshly slammed the door shut to his face

oikawa was stunned

was this the right apartment?

did iwaizumi trick him?

but those thoughts were wiped away when the door opened again and a girl was softly chiding the boy before turning around with a smile to greet the person but then it fell

similar to her son, she slammed the door shut and oikawa panicked

‘y-y/n? h-hey!’

he exclaimed and with a clenched fist, he stood there

you were hyperventilating inside

how did he find you?

why is he here?

does he know?

‘mama? who’s that oji?’

the bright eyes of yozora looked up at you and you blinked, briefly seeing the man behind the door at the face of your son

you sucked in a deep breath before smiling lightly

‘yoyo-kun, can you go play with dino-kun while mama and oji talk?’

yozora blinked back up at you before shrugging and nodding and running off to your shared room

once he was gone, you quickly composed yourself and opened the door again, shocked to see oikawa already half-way down the hallway to the elevator

‘would you like some tea before you go?’

you called out and he stopped, almost giving himself whiplash at how fast he turned his head

it was like his instincts took over when your voice started speaking to him

as if he was 18 again, oikawa found himself trailing after your voice and you nervously led him inside

his eyes were moving really fast as if he wanted to quickly soak it all in before it would disappear

this was where you lived

with your son

who was his son too

there was a picture by the door of you and the little boy from earlier

it was at the planetarium nearby and tooru’s heart bloomed at the sparkle in that child’s eyes

jesus, he was beautiful

‘yozora. thats his name’

you said, noticing him staring at the picture

KDFLJSDKFSD PRINCE NOCTIS LUCIS CAELUM BABIESSS!!!

‘night sky’

oikawa whispered

the teapot was still hot and you were able to pour him a cup so you both sat on the dining table where he sat across from you

‘n-nice place’

he stuttered out

you nodded, tracing the rim of your own cup

‘its natsu’s and katsuki’s actually. my parents kicked me out so they offered to let me stay with them’

you reasoned, not meaning to sound cold but it came out as if you were being passive agressive

‘o-oh? ho-how is he-’

‘oikawa-san, what are you doing here?’

he visibly flinched

calling him by his last name stung since you called him ‘tooru’ the whole relationship so returning to his surname is your way of cutting off the whole thing

‘i,,, i found out. a few days ago. from shoyo. he told me their coach looked after yozora and,,, i knew he is,,, mine’

you let out a humorless chuckle

a scoff

then you looked up to meet his gaze, oikawa gulping at the hardness in your eyes

‘what makes you think so? what makes you think that i wasnt angry and spiteful enough to give myself to someone else so they could have what the great oikawa tooru had? what makes you think that i would remain loyal to you despite you just running off to the other side of the fcking world without a word? hm? oikawa-san? what.makes.you.think.so?’

out of guilt, he broke the stare to his own steaming cup of green tea

‘nothing’

you whispered

he shakingly sighed and you could tell he was about to cry

but you rolled your eyes and crossed your arms

‘go ahead and cry, oikawa-san. im used to temper tantrums. i have a son for god’s sake’

‘you would never do that to me, y/n. you promised that you would always love me and only me and i know you take promises to your grave’

he reasoned but it sounded like it was him convincing himself

the dry laugh you let out made him fidget

‘and you promised that you would always talk to me and communicate. yours is a much lighter and easier promise than mine yet you get to break it and i can’t? no, oikawa-san. to me, its like that year never even happened’

you were now just trying to rile him up due to your anger towards him

you shouldve let him walk to the elevator and leave and never come back

but you still invited him in anyways

oikawa snapped his head up

‘you cant say that or mean it, y/n. that boy over there, hes a reminder of me. he looks exactly like me so you cant ever forget what we have’

‘what he had. it was simply the past, years ago, and everything has changed since then. dont you dare try to dig up buried secrets, oikawa’

‘but why did you keep him from me?’

he pleaded, desperate for any answer as to why

‘i had every right. the moment you boarded that plane, he no longer was yours. you left, i stayed, and you cant just come back here and-’

‘mama?’

a small voice from the corner halted your loud voice and you and tooru looked at him

oikawa yozora was exactly like his father

from his loud and obnoxious personality to even the brown hair and brown eyes

KFDSLJFKDS REMEMBER THAT KID FROM OLD UKAI’S VOLLEYBALL CLUB?! THATS WHAT HE LOOKS LIKE!!

he looked absolutely nothing like you and people even get confused when you say hes your son

um maam i think hes my son since he came out of me

so oikawa was right

yozora was your daily reminder of the mistakes of your youth but he was anything but that as he is the greatest thing to ever happen to you

yozora became your light when you fell into depression after oikawa ran away

sure, your parents absolutely loathed poor child as he is a child of a child

but you kept him because he means the world to you

and the world he holds are in his eyes

‘i,, i heard yelling,,, and,,, thought mama and oji were sad,,, so,,, i bring my,,, star book because,,, it makes me happy,,, and i think,,, mama and oji will,,, be happy too’

he mumbled out and you smiled at him before moving to go to him but oikawa stopped you

his eyes begged you and you glared at him, deciding to withdraw

if he decides to do anything, you could always knee him between the legs

he slowly approached yozo and kneeled down to reach eye-level

‘hello, my name is oikawa tooru’

he softly introduced himself and yozora just stared at him

‘you oikawa too? but i oikawa! mama is he me?!’

yozora shouted and you giggled, running to take him into your arms

‘oh, darling, how curious you are. oji isnt you, baby. he just,,, has the same last name as you. like mama has hers but you have,,, oji’s’

your eyes drifted to oikawa but he remained on the floor, staring at the spot where yozo stood on

you kept his last name

you listened to him from that night at the hill by naming his son after the night sky

my god, you are so,,,

‘--the book. oji? do you?’

he was brought back to reality when your son was now back on the floor and poking his shoulder

tooru blinked and looked at him

‘huh?’

‘i ask if you want to read my book with me, oji. mama say she happy but you still sad so my book make you happy’

not even an hour of meeting him, oikawa tooru already loves him

the volleyball player nodded and yozora offered a tiny hand to which he accepted

‘this way. mama say to read so she make food. i like food, do you like food, oji? i like food. i like milk bread. mama say papa like it so i like what papa like. i want papa to come home. sit there’

tooru’s heart beat faster every word his child uttered and it even went faster when he saw yozo struggle to get up on the couch

the pair of big hands that brought him on the cushion made him happily sigh then uttered a small ‘thank you’

‘my mama say that my papa give me my book and say to take care of it until he come back. and she say he come back when im a master of space! so i study and read my book every day and know all so papa can hurry home!’

tooru didnt even notice tears falling down his face until yozo blinked up at him with his small hands grasping his cheeks to wipe it off

‘why you cry, oji? no sad! no sad! here! i read my book so you not cry’

he babbled and quickly pried the book open and read out the words on the page, not realizing he was saying most of it wrong

that book was oikawa’s

the book that he read all the time in the bus and now, it was passed on to his son

you leaned against the wall and gasped at the sight of yozo just babbling and oikawa crying

‘yoyo-kun? what did you do to tooru?’

you fussed and sat down next to oikawa

yozo worriedly looked at him and now his own eyes were watering and soon enough, you have 2 boys crying in your living room

GURL IM SORRY BUT I WOULDA KICKED OUT OIKAWA LIKE NOT EVEN OFFER HIM TEA OR ANYTHING IM SORRY IM TIRED AND IDK WHATS GOING ON

‘a-ah, y-yozo! yozo-kun! oji is,,, just,,, uh,, sad because,, because pluto isnt a planet anymore!’

yozo sniffled and he went closer to oikawa

‘me too, oji. yoyo sad too because pluto is just small. other planet are onii-chan and onee-chan but pluto is baby so they not like him’

he rambled and oikawa pulled him closer

‘mama, can we keep oji? nana-san and katsu-san will like him! promise!’

you couldnt even believe what was going on right now

not only did your baby daddy ex-boyfriend suddenly pop up, your son was now wanting to keep him

you made a move to of course deny his request but oikawa opened his mouth first

‘yozora-kun, of course you could keep me. im your papa, after all’

OKAY THAT WAS IT

YOU DID NOT WANT HIM TO SAY THAT TO YOZORA

out of shock, you slapped him across the face

causing yanno what happened

oikawa screamed

a/n: yoooooo SO LIKE THIS IS RIDICULOUS LIKE THIS IS BOOTY IM SORRY BUT THIS IS ALSO IN MY GOING TO EDIT LIST AND I CHOSE THIS OUT OF MY 10 OTHER VERSIONS OF THIS ROUTE AND I MAY OR MAY NOT RELEASE ANOTHER ONE JUST TO MAKE UP FOR IT. but try not to let this flop 🥺 👉👈

ALSO CHI THAT K+Y AND THE T+Y IS ON THE WORKS RN AND IM LIKE HALF WAY DONE SO I MIGHT RELEASE THEM BOTH AT THE SAME TIME

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