#sorry im jusr having feelings

[caligvlasaqvarivm]

the way that karkat has never once had to do the "are we still friends" thing with eridan because eridan literally cant shut up about how funny he thinks karkat is and how much he wants to hang out with him, even when karkat is yelling genuine death threats at him

& the way karkat has a major problem with seeing past/future versions of people as separate entities, but outright calls past, future, and current eridan "the same [eridan]" because he subconsciously considers eridan a constant

& the way that eridan implies that karkat making death threats to him is what their regular banter looks like, meaning karkat - despite being a cull-on-sight mutant, and eridan being a murderous genocidal sea dweller - has always felt safe enough around eridan to threaten him with bodily harm

[cent-scratchnsniff]

Day 50

[phagodyke]

kind of annoys me sometimes how I can happily listen to my roommate explain the entire plot of whatever she's currently into but when it comes to my interests she can only listen for a few mins before wordlessly walking out of the room

[kasperawr]

i love seeing ppl go crazy in the tags when they rb my art i love seeing ppl spam-like my posts i love when mutuals or followers i recognize like my posts i love tumblr i am cringe and free and i am liked for being cringe and free !!!!!

[jarvis-cockhead]

watching a live blur thing on the tv and no offense but they kinda like. arent that good 💀

[carp-esh-ove-lem]

sigh i truly am not a huge fan of when Specialest Boy in my fanfics

[lexisism]

appreciation post 2024-2025 ⸜(｡˃ ᵕ ˂ )⸝♡

i made a mistake in my calculations so posting this now! happy 2024, and im glad I can welcome 2025 with you guys in my life and mind 🤍 (sorry if you didn’t wish to be tagged)

@ashipiko

ASHI!!! i admire you so much your yume is so good and your art is so awesome.. UGHHH I LOVE UR WORK SO MUCH I JUSR WANT TO LET YOU KNOW HOW MUCH I APPRECIATE YOU!! you’re so funny too, and just an absolute joy to see on my dash.. thank you for sharing your art with us 🤍

@ceruleancattail

HAPPY NEW YEAR CERU!!! pretty sure this is our second new year knowing eachother hello?! you are and were such an inspiration to me when i first came on tumblr and i look up to you sm! i adore you, your work, and your kindness! you’re very impressive and im happy I found you!

@camvrin

oh oli dear there is rare enough anything i can say here that I haven’t said before! you brought such light into my life, I smile so much more often since you came and I’m so grateful I’ve met you. you are so stunning, you’re kindness is so unique to you and your heart is so blessed (i want to shield it from the world), i adore you dearly! and im so happy we are in touch. you’re so funny and I just want to make you sooo happy. im so grateful for all the support you’ve shown me, and how kind you are to me, thank you for always being there 🤍!

@floraldresvi

VI!!! oh my darling dresvi you make me feel so loved, both by you and my f/o’s! I admire you so much and I want to grow into an adult like you are! you’re so kind, caring, and so inclusive to everyone around and I love you soooo much! you were one of my first mutuals on here and you made me want to stay! thank you so much for a fun two years now. love you and baivi dearly :)

@kaiserkisser

oh skylia the darling ever I appreciate you so much!!! another of my oldest friends and someone I value closely, although we don’t interact you’re such a darling and I ADORE seeing you post. never change bb, you’re awesome how you are, and I love your heart and soul! take care in 2025 bb happy i met you

@kalims

ROSA!!! you’re so COOL holy i admire you so much!! you’re so caring and AWESOME DJSJEJEJ i look up to you so much and you were (are!) one of my biggest writing inspirations! i love your writing, formatting, and your themes dearly! I can’t believe I can just pop in and say hi and you’d respond thats crazy to me. im so grateful i found you!

@milk-violet

MIREI!! i just met you this year but you made this year so memorable!! i got so comfortable with you so quickly its kinda crazy.. im not complaining though im so eternally grateful for it! you’re like a sister to me and I adore you so dearly! love love love you! you’re so funny, and always make me laugh just as much as you make me smile with your sweet words! you’re so supportive of me and my ocs and my selfships and just everything and im so so grateful to have this energy in my life! I hope we get to speak more and more as 2025 comes up and i can make you just as happy as you’ve made me!!

@mondaymelon

MELON!! you’re so cool, your ocs and art are things im awestruck at!! you’re so strong and so cool and epic and and and!!! i admire you and your passions very much! we don’t talk so much but whenever you post i do adore each and every one LMAO! you’re awesome.

@mlkbwunnies

oh ying :( you’re an older mutual of mine, and one im so grateful i met last year 🤍 you’re just the sweetest and so so redeeming. every conversation we have js so comforting, and I try to follow in your footsteps and be as kind and soft as you are! you’re so cool and i admire you in every way out there. thank you for making my 2024 so much better!

@melitheduck

MELIIII MY OLDEST FRIEND I KNOW ON HERE WE’VE KNOWN EACHOTHER FOR LIKE 2 YEARS NOW!! before i was on tumblr,,, and you’re just the sweetest soul out there. everything about you is cute, and nice and oh i adore you so much!!! you’re just so comforting to speak too and so silly i love you.

@soleillunne

ALY!! you’re so awesome and just??? the way you write so much for everyone and all the gifts you give you’re just a beloved gift yourself . you’re so strong and so adored and i’m so grateful I know you. we don’t talk the most but do know I see you on my dash, and i send u hugs everytime i do 🤍

@tiredsleep

you’re one of my newer friends but you’ve become such a consistent part of my schedule its crazy. you put up with my shenanigans and you’re so cool and mature (sometimes/lh) and I’m so grateful for how you listen to me talk about my ocs all the time, truly it means so much to me how willing you are too listen! you’re dear to me and I hope I can provide the same happiness you provide me!!!

[t00them00n]

Omg!!! I live ur writing so much! The way you write eren is like literally perfect!! I was wondering if I could request reader walking home or at a party or just like out somewhere and they notice some people making her uncomfy and they cal eren to pick them up? Some fluff and comfort are my coping mechanism 😭

LMAO STOP THE COPING MECHANISM IS SO REAL💀💀 and ofc bb thankyou so much for the request i love you😋🥰

Im just gonna work off the whole saviour dynamic w eren and hopefully u dont mind

——————

More requests/masterlist

You don’t know why you’re here, you really should’ve just stayed home if only Mikasa hadn’t dragged you out.

“Cmonnnn it’ll be fun, I promise! Even Sasha’s coming!”

You really shouldn’t have listened to her, right now she’s - God knows where - with Sasha playing some obscure drinking game while you’re here sitting on the leather couch already intoxicated yourself.

You felt gross. Sticky even from the sweaty, crowded living room, humidity suffocating you. There was about 5 people on this couch made to fit only 2, you sat there staring down at your stupid sore feet in your stupid stupid heels with stupid strangers grazing your bare legs next to you.

The noise of the room tuned out as your tipsy brain was half conscious until you were snapped back into reality feeling a creeping hand on your shoulder.

Whoever was next to you was apparently speaking for long enough that you don’t know what they’re on about, “— or we could go back to my apartment..”

Your head snaps back up and you anxiously shrug off this guys tacky hand, sobering up just a little bit. Enough to start comprehending things.

“Sorry, I have to go” you say while peeling yourself off the leather, you don’t know where you have to go you just knew to leave because clearly you weren’t functioning well alone.

You turn and almost begin walking away until you almost trip on your stupid heels, this guys hand had gripped your arm rather too harshly to pull you right back onto the couch.

“Hey we were in the middle of something” he slurs, clearly a little more intoxicated than you.

You’re still so lost, why the fuck is he still talking? Why is this room is so hot? This couch is too sticky. His breath smells like shit. Your feet hurt like shit. You’re so tired all you want to do is leave at this point. All of your senses have been overwhelmed you can’t take it.

He continues to ramble nonsense again so you settle to tune it out again, unsure if your feet have the strength to even walk away and give resistance against this random ass guy if he tries anything worse.

You pull out your phone from your unpractically tiny bag and open your messages.

23:16 — Eren

Erenb

Yes this is erenb

Can gou pixk me up

How drunk are you💀

Honestly nor that nuch this tine

Thid guys bortherijf me hurry up ples😋

This guy??

What’s going on?

Donr asknme idek myslef💀💀 hes jusr weirdinf me out

Im coming dw mika sent me the address earlier

Otw

He didn’t lie when he said he’d be quick, honestly Eren was waiting for you to return from the party. He got too bored sitting in your apartment alone watching tv.

You get a call and immediately shoot up knowing Erens arrived. You’re still too drunk to process whatever this guy was doing.

You think he’s following behind you? Who knows? You get out the front door with a cool breeze hitting you. It’s much quieter out here which would be nice if this guy wasn’t still trying to pursue you even after a good ten minutes of radio silence from you.

You feel your body sigh with relief as you spot Eren’s car, you make eye contact with him through the front window smiling. You can slightly see how he grins at your drunken walk in your painful heels until your vision spins to face the guy.

His hand was now on your shoulder and before you knew it Eren was getting out of his car. Whoever this man was he was clearly upset?? Clearly drunk and clearly mad at you. He’s rambling and you still don’t want to listen, hes saying something about you not mentioning you had a boyfriend or anything along those lines?

All you knew is that he was mad, you could feel it in his inebriated grip on your shoulder. Then you start to feel the alcohol coming back up you’re system as his other hand creeps to hold your waist. “Cmon ditch your boyfriend”

Before you can get a word of disgust out you feel familiar arms save you from this repulsive guys hold. Eren shoves his chest as he drunkenly stumbles backwards.

“What the fuck is wrong with you?” Eren spits out as his arm ushers you to stand a little behind him. He isn’t really one for violence when it’s a complete stranger. He has better things to do than that.

He can tell he’s drunk and after a few nonsensical sentences pour out the guys mouth; Eren’s done eyeing him down with demise so he walks you back to his car while the guy drags himself back to the party.

“Are you alright?” He questions you while rubbing his hand against your arms to warm you up as much as he can walking down the party’s front yard.

“Yeah I’m alright now at least, thank you Eren”

“That guy looked fucking homeless”

You softly smile to yourself, at ease in Eren’s presence. Half the grossness you felt in that stupid party had already began dissolving.

The drive home was quiet, calm. You were dozing off in the passenger seat while you held his free hand in you lap. His thumb swept back and forth until you arrived home. He reaches behind into the back seat, you’re too hazy to question why really. Eren bends over to take off your heels to then slide ur home slippers on.

“I don’t know why you wore those tonight, you know they hurt”

“I know right?!” You huff back at him. He laughs softly at your drunken state and gets out the car. He opens your car door to usher you out and puts his arm around you to help you walk to your apartment.

He lies you down on the couch and tells u to stay which you have no real trouble doing. He returns to the room holding one of his navy blue t-shirts and grey shorts.

“Okay baby, take off ur dress” he says gently.

“At least ask me to dinner first” you retort back. You snicker at your own joke but take off your dress all the same. He slips his shirt and shorts onto you then carries you to your bed effortlessly.

“You’re soo strong, do you have a girlfriend?” you giggle while feeling up his muscular arms. He only laughs at you and quickly leaves to grab something. He returns again, your micellar water in one hand and your toner in the other, “hey which one is the makeup thingy to take it off?” He questions, trying to communicate with whatever sober is left in you. You point to the micellar bottle and he wipes your face with it. The cool water and Eren’s delicate touch was extremely soothing. Although making you even more tired it did sober you up a little more.

Once he’s done, he puts everything down and climbs in bed next to you, pulling the blanket up, he moves you so that you’re on your side and pulls your knee toward him so that your leg is over his legs. He moves his arm to lie under your neck and pulls your whole body nearer with his free hand now on the small of your back.

You inhale deeply the scent of his chest and neck, now intoxicated by his musky scent while his hand slides up to bring your head nearer while he breathes deeply too, face shoved in the top of your head.

He moves to place a chaste kiss on your forehead.“You okay?” He asks, voice just above a whisper.

“Now I am, that guy was weird”, you murmur back still with a face full of chest.

“Yeah he was a fucking weirdo” Eren says, now speaking at a normal volume. “You’re not going alone to those parties anymore, I’m having a word with Mikasa trust”

You laugh at his seriousness and press a kiss to his collar bone, “No laughing I’m serious” he smiles, making space between you too to be able to kiss your collar bone too. He litters playful kisses on your neck. You laugh more while he roughly moves on top of you to only press more ticklish pecks all over you; intentionally smothering you.

You stop him by grabbing both sides of his head and bringing his lips to yours. You kiss him softly while he willingly returns it. He deepens the kiss with his tongue swiping your bottom lip until you open your mouth in the slightest, letting him slip it inside.

[hysteria-things]

sorry bout this but i js have no one to talk too but my bf literally just broke up w me because i dont think im ready to have sex yet. im only 16 and i dont feel ready and he couldnt understand that saying hes lost it long ago and that its not a big deal but it is for me and he got mad so he left saying i dont love him and that its over.

sorry i jusr really needed to tell someone abt this bc really i dont have anyone else too since none of my friends understand either:/

ummm what the heck? losing your virginity DOES NOT hav an age limit. you can take AS MUCH TIME as you need. having sex for the first time isn’t something to rush into AT ALL.

quite honestly, they all should take a hike and mind their business. people shouldn’t control YOUR life.

[red-dye40]

hi i jusr read nfrtg last night and it gave me such a weird ominous feeling, like “oh shit was I suppose to read that i don’t think I shoulda come across that”. it’s very good thank you. um im sorry for the really stupid question but Inever heard the word geocache before until I read nfrtg. I googled it to learn more context about it and I’m really confused . What is a “catch”? And what do the different bingo cards mean? I read the convo between newf and west several times and i still dont understand or is this something that will be explained later? I apologize English isn’t my first language and googling geocatch didnt help me. thank you for your beautiful work!

hi hi!

first off, thank you for your kind words :) i really appreciate it

i’ve been getting that feedback Quite a bit and it’s no one’s fault but my own that it’s so confusing! so lemme explain a lil better:

so the phrase “GeoCatch” that people keep referring to in nfrtg is completely fictional! and as of right now, the reader is NOT supposed to completely know what GeoCatch is for suspense purposes 🤧 the bingo boards are part of the gameplay, though we haven’t gotten a full explanation as to how yet.

without spoiling the whole idea, here is the information we have so far:

CrowdSauce (“CS”) hosts a community game called GeoCatch (“GC”)

There is a GC livestream that starts at midnight PST that people watch (it’s implied that this is a big event and people often watch the stream with friends, host parties, etc)

Players make bingo boards that somehow relate to the livestream—they fill them out (try to get bingo) based on what happens onscreen during the livestream, hence why every person has a different bingo board

There is a singular “Catch” and multiple “Catchers” involved in the game—the “Catch” is highly sought after, as having possession of it allows the Catcher to essentially control the game somehow

There is a cash prize that accumulates through bets leading up to the livestream, awarded to and split amongst the people who win GC

For legal reasons, CrowdSauce does NOT condone or allow betting on GeoCatch and will actively delete any links to betting sites

There is a tracker that charts the location of the Catch, but it’s not always accurate since it’s maintained by users based on rumors of the Catch’s location

“GeoCatch” is just a funny lil play on “geocache” which is a very real thing! (i used to geocache a lot lmao 🤓) so i understand that must’ve been confusing to try and look up.

i’m so sorry for making it confusing, and i’m Also sorry for making it seem like you’re missing something! as nfrtg progresses things will become more and more clear i promise!!!

[awesamcozy]

so many ppl complain ab dreams career choices like they wouldnt have killed themselves 54 times just in the past week alone if they were in his shoes 😭 idk i dont blame him for jusr wanting to have fun i get wanting content bc yes that is his job i want streams and videos too but like. tap into other things guys u can have other interests u dont jsut have to sit here and wait miserably for him to do something

its true... i feel like we have said this 90 millioin times in the last year... the golden age of dtqk lockdown streams is over im SORRY!!! m sos fucking sorry. we wait for the next peak, put on a peanutbuttergamer video in the meantime

[kaleidosouls]

random text post of day #

been watching creepcast more or less since the first/second episode and after latest i keep wanting to talk to ppl abt my thoughts and im tired of trying to engage with other youtube comments / i dont wanna keep bothering my spouse with this plus id want to talk to other ppl who are viewers but dhkdhfk im gonna rant behind the cut; tw animal death/violence, child abuse

gonna rant assuming readers is also a viewer cause too tired to explain, sorry. this is just “stuff id want to chat with fellow fans of the poscast but i dont have friends who watch it, and the youtube comments suck for the most part and id rather be turned inside out than login to reddit”, like i did end up using rhe comment section way toomuch already, jm tired and its like 3% normal ppl and 97% dicks and assholes with bully disorder

like it was a big enlightening to just properly label things last night at last and process the feelings and situation. this is jsut a podcast with isaiah bullying his cohost hunter (“as a joke”) and the fans at large are people who enjoying bullying snd find it funny, and try to bully commenters who disrupt their “fun”, trting to discret and demean them as friendless parasocial losers for not playing along the theater of mockery and treating it as socially acceptable.

like its one thing to tease between friends and make dark jokes, its another thing to repeatedly, insistently, laugh at your friend for being traumatized as a child by violent animal death? like. its like i get that initially he was just really baffled at the event like haha oh my god did that happened thats so fucked up (which is annoyingly normie in its own way like yeah dude, none of us have control over fucked up shit happening to us as children, like he makes such a spectacle about it like its this earth shattering thing). like its tragic and a big deal but like wrt trauma its usually safe to be on the level that the person with the trauma is setting, if theyre talkinf about it really intensely it makes sense to match up to that tone or lower. instead hunter is trting to move on while isaiah is just obsessed fascinated with it like its fiction almsot. idk just . uggghhhhhhh

i could kust make a collage fo commwnts that made me like lose hope for humanity each time but i dontw anna dwell on annoying bullshit and commit it more to memory. like people are jusr… like there is some dark humor inherent to like calljng your mom as an adult on your show to have her back you up only for it to turn out it was way worse, but like the way isaiah kept laughing about it for so long.. like hecan laugh and joke like that at his Own traumas if he has them. just. idk. tgisn podcast like just. ugh its making me irritated tot hink abt explaining whats happening in it to people like go watch it with adblock on, im gonnaskip explainjng more and jsut say some feelings to the void that id rather like scream at someone about. i was gonna say scream at assholes in the commmebts but i actually want their internet connection destroted and for them to be forced to dismantle their phones and pcs and set them on fire so they can never speak again.

isaiah is coming off like such a monster. like, “””as a joke””” acting like an asshole is still acting like an asshole, i dont care anymore that hes actually probably rly well intentioned and ncie bc he jsut needs to stop being fucking rancid and a shitty cohost and friend. an honestly i cant even believe the “hes actually nice” shit anymore. starting tj feel hes been an ashsole all along and just pretends to be a good guy. like he takes too much joy out of excessive bullying to be a good person. like genuine just bullying, with no consequences. ppl are like “oh hunters fine with it bc hes putting up with it” like as if every single person alive Never has to put up and laugh along shit that bothers them. specially on what is essentially their Job. hunter barely appears comfortable and he does not dish back nearly as viciously- and we jnow hes capable of rly dark humor and banter too, on his own channel tje vibe is completely different but he has none or that edge with isaiah. while isaiah is literally like i wnan dox you please fans m*lest hunter in the meet and greet, i want this guy dead; isaiah literlaly makea such a huge deal every time hunter had a disagreeing opinion irs clear hes started to just not weight in when he doesnt like something, itd be one thing to make these super intense mean comments if hunter did them back but every time isaiah would not take or tolerate it when it was towards himself,; and honestly all of the stuff before had been like accumulating to be pretty bad but rhe latest ep with the dog story eallyi guess like crosses a line of like, this is just genuinely wrong and i dont care how mcuh the comments say its ‘parasocial’to have basic human empathy! youre watchint a guy talk abt having the family dog shot in the back of the head in front of him by his grandfather, only to then find out on air feom his mother the shooting had been intentional and his grandfatehr was actuallt a monster instead of a disabled man traumatizinf you by accident. like the ironic tragedy of him calling his mom to back him up on that ‘its not a big deal’ only for her to contradict him is funny on a cosmic sense, but like it is iust. not that funny dude. like isaiah kept bursting into laughter just thinking about it. oh is it too absurd for you to take seriously? do yoh just not give a fuck about how tour friend might feel? dude didnt even fucking ask. he didnt eveb show a sliver of care , sympathy empathy anything. he literally says “ill never let you live this down”. LIVE WHAT DOWN???? having his grandfather intentionally shoot his dog in front of him as a 7 year old child? like what the actual fuck is wrong with him??!! have like even a shred of respect for your cohost, like its all ‘as a joke’ but if you consistently ‘as a joke’ act like a cruel manipulative bullying person, im just gonna choose to believe youre actually just that person using “humor” as a shield to excuse your behavior.

like wtf. i was actually a fan of isaiahs chanel first and i didnt rly vibe with hunter that much and i wouldnt have expected, bc i woildnt enjoy watching an asshole, that isaiah wouldve turned out to be such a self centered horrible person. like its all funny TO HIM, i dont get the sense its enjoyable at all to be in that room when isaiah is getting all giddy and having a kick out of treating hunter like a punching back. yeah he probably doesnt mean to be actually hurtful but it doesnt look like the thought even crosses his satan spawn eyes that someone could have a different reaction than the one he was intends there to be. like i dont know hunter and idk if id even like him if i talked to him in person but it sucks qnr is horrible to watch anyone be treated that way consistently. like i wish creepcaet juet actually ended or isaiah learned how to not be shitty. i dont care if its not in his nature to not be awful he should just try to pretend to be a decent person for once. like i feel bad for hunter becuase it comes across like hes more stuck in the podcast than enjoying it and i empathise with struggling to leave “friends” who treat you like shit. and its like work too, i have no idea how much of a monetary and reputation loss it would be to leave. ppl are like “theyre adults they surely worked within themselves” yeah bc no adult ever has struggled or been stuck in a situation thats hard to get out of. honestly like yeah this is just a shitty podcast with shitty fans who just enjoy watching a bigger guy get bullied for no reason because they are probably mostly awful bullies in their own lives too hurting the people around them and i dont need to convern myself over what people who get a kick out of hurting others think.

i guess obligatory like. insane and unwarranted comment to the hosts bc no one is readingnthis let alone either of them but its like what if they read it and like felt x or y way in reaction. maube writing this will give me some semblance of peace

@ hunter: you seem cool and youre a really talented artist and naturally funny on camera/audio. i relate to having memories from childhood warped like that, and im sure/i would imagine that was the story told because it was far from the actual worst one. i think you deserve to respect yourself more, im sure being bullied is no skin of your back, im fat and ive been derided bc of it my whole life, from since i was 70kg and im 100kg now. its smth you get used to and it feels like not a big deal but on a fundamental level i thibk everyone deserves to respect themselves at least enough to not let friends treat you like shit to this extent. like i know banter and teasing is normal, butlike. its so excessive dude. it comes across like youre just stuck there and idk your financials and maybe you coulr be, ive heard of stories like that wrt youtube projects, and subversive animations arent loved by youtube’s revenue. heavy condolences if this turns out to be the case and hoping things can change. im sure it would be hard to quit anyway bc ppl would make such a big deal abt it. but if you are free to leave at anytime and you have freedom and are safe with isaiah,thank god thats great, get the FUCK out of there or get isaiah to stop treatiny you like shit cause you deserve better. if somehow you iust love beint berated like that i guess like each to his own too, i just hope youre doing ok juwt oj the basis of beint a fellow human being who appears to be in a legitimately shitty situation. if you are ajd im insane, thats fine too, id rather be insane than someone be suffering.

sigh

@ isaiah: i really liked your youtube vids. you seemed like a decent enougu guy. ofc like i dont actualyl Know either of tou, injust am human and relating on basic emotional levels based on the behavior you choose to display online. man. what the hell is wrong with you? if i expected you to actually read this i would be more polite but i dont expect a single soul to read this, really. like, man… i want to believe theres capacity of good and kindness in every person so surely you must have it, and if you do.. why are you acting like that. is being mean That funny? i love dark humor but ive never taken joy out of actively bullying people so i cant really relate but like, surely you can find otuer ways to have fun with your friend? im sure you think its all fine bc hunter wont throw a tantrum like you do but some people are actually way more inwards with their emotions and like you coild try to be a little more interested in how someone else feels when you bully them. “as a joke”. like maybe its not as funny as you think itnis, or they migut not be enjoying it like you do. i know its hard to stop when you want to talk but please try to stop interrupting hunter repeatedly after you clewrly mustve heard him adter the call delay? honestly, i thought you were a fine guy but now its like maybe youre just on a power trip, havint someone hostage to validate your opinions on horror and to bully for fun who wont talk back to you in a way thats actually challenging. since you love the sounf of your own voice so much you could do a solo podcast, you dont need hunter to be there as a punching bag in order to make a podcast. if you lvoe and care about hunter as a friend sincerely and iust have been totally by accident actint like a major piece of shit, id like want to hope for you to improve as a person in how you act and id want to believe thats very possible, but episode after episode its just.. like i dont give a shit abt dark mean humor i dont care if you call us in the audience pieces of shit or freaks or whatever, we’re not there talking to you, but hunter Is hearing what youre saying and is actually there.like id say for a christian you are extremely cruel but that is just ao on brand for open christians to behave that way that i honestly wanted to believe you would subvert that expectation, but it seems i was wrong. you know like i dont get this being mean as a joke thinf and neber have, i would say if hunter died tomorrow would you not have rather spent time with him in a positive way where he was loved instead of berated, but youd most likely “joke” that youre glad hes dead and that you didnt bully him enough. im not christian and i dont believe in heaven or hell but i know for you that youre most likely not seeing the pearly gates until you learn to pretend to be a good person to your friends. its probably not even smth you genuinely want to do or care to do but you could make that sacrifice of being nicer so the world is a better place while it has to have you here.

big sigh this isjsut hggggghhhhhh like a shame bc i love horror and i had enjoyed isaiahs youtube vids but , man this is such a disappointment. obviously i dont rly wana watch the podcast anymore butni like hunter reading and his voice and i would just hope for the best for him going forward, and the insane in my brain is like i gotta check it out maybe isaiah apologizes and acts like normal and nice without being rancid for once. even tho i know that wont be true bc it hasnt been for weeks since i started watching, i guess ill tune in for the next and if he foesnt shape up i’ll quit it. find a diff horror podcast or smth. makes me sad imagining hunter stuck in there. kike idk if hes even a good person like hes edgy on his own channel too but in general like he comes across like isaiah used to , lile someone who just seems fine and i havent heard anything saying theres smth horribly wrong with him. just on a basic human level it sucks to see people struggle and suffer. speciallt when its situations i relate and have been to. its been at least (uhh math…) damn 10 years or smth since an event that really stuck with me, where i was kust telling soem school friend abt my life at home bc we were just talking, and i relayed one of the ways my parents would beat me and how i was so scary, and she burst our cackling in my face. its a feeling that took a long time to stop having it sting in my head. she wasnt intending to laugh At me, or bc she thought beating children was genuinely good or funny, but to her the situation was so absurd it was funny. i can understand that on a detached level like if it wasnt real there would be some comedy timing to it. but instead i iust felt like a joke. like i was stupid, like it was this really funny ass thing, and i tried to play along, and it was like the fear trauma and pain that resulted from those events was a joke too. like i was stupid for having my life warped ny the abuse and it affecting me, because it was just so absurd and funny! like damn, i shouldve been abused as a child in a less absurd and funny way so people wouldnt mock me to my face about it. i guess i deserve it and its natural to be treated this way. until i met someoje who actually respected and gave a fuck about me and wouldnt make me feel that way i thoight it was normal and like i was fine with it too. i used to get bullied communally by my entire classroom for half of middle school and i thought those people were called friends too because id never been treated any better by anyone.

hgggghj i think its helped a bit to get it off my chest, maybe. man this sucks. i wish people would iust be nicer to eachother. life is so short, and some people cant even have the courtesy to not be tormented by people they call friends

[nezuscribe]

hi again,, it’s the 🐦‍🔥🧨 nonnie c: (sry for kinda just forcing the emojis i just wanted to be able to see ur reply easier 😭)

i just came here to say arranged!gojo has been living rent free in my head still and always will be ,,, i’ve seen ppl ask abt the potential for expanding on what the king thinks after the whole ordeal, or gojo’s perspective

but is it odd for me to put it out there that throughout reading i was wondering abt the ‘side’ characters during/after finding reader? like how did alina (and the other maids) get through the whole 16 months?? readers father? did gojo’s mum find out??

and then after the fact, like what happens w the relationship between reader and miss murray? (those two pulled on my heartstrings btw 😭) how is reader dealing with coming back - do they feel like they need to start all over again?

SORRY FOR ANOTHER WORD VOM I HAVE SO MANT (little??) QUESTJONS BUT REGARDLESS IM JUSR REALLY EXCITED HAHAHAHA

hi nonnie !! no worries at all!!

and these aren't odd questions at all ! i do plan to answer a lot of them in a future oneshot/drabble so rest assured there's method to my madness <33

[blue-willow-tree]

hehe i’m so happy i made you smile <3 i just know you have the prettiest and cutest smile :3 makes me wish i was there pinching your cheeks :P

and yes i’ve been drinking enough water :D i’m the kind of person that prefers water over any sugary drinks :3

i’m so sorry that you’ve had terrible dom/sub relationships in the past :( i know how hard it is to ‘find yourself again’ after leaving a particularly bad dom/sub relationship. my first dom/sub relationship was online and polyamory (which is already such a big step to take) and it didn’t end well for the three of us :’)

you deserve so much love and you’re more than enough for a dom/sub/switch, okay? all of us love you so much and you’re such a special and ethereal person :)

i also have problems with closing people off, apparently i have ‘avoidant attachment style’ when it comes to relationships with people :’) im not sure if you have it too (but you should search it up when you can!) but i completely understand shutting out emotions :(

just reading your reply to my ask has my eyes watery, you just... you deserve so much and more and i really really hope you’ll find your happiness in someone. you deserve it jusr as much as anyone else does, angel :(

it’s fine to show your ‘subby’ side only IF you’re comfortable. your comfort and happiness matters more, okay? so what if you want to show your subby side? fuck everyone else smh (don’t come for me please) i’m happy you’re more comfortable with showing your subby side with someone though, i’m so so so so happy for you <3

sorry for the long ask, i love talking to someone that gives such long and thoughtful answers <3 i appreciate our friendship so much too, willow <3 mwa xx

— ✨️

Haha aww you're so sweet, I do have pink soft cheeks so go ahead love haha x

Me too! Water is just so heavenly, I drink multiple liters a day. I do however have a slight coca-cola addiction (it's definitely not slight, it's a real problem, but I will continue to live in denial)

It was extremely hard to find myself, especially after I had made them my whole world. When the first one ended, another one found me, and unfortunately took advantage of how broken I was and was a narcissist who wanted to break me down further. That continued for about a year online, it truly was horrible.

I am so so sorry for how your first d/s relationship went. Immediately starting off with polyamory is definitely such a big step to take, and I'm proud of you for how much you've healed. You are so sweet, once I have a d/s relationship I'll want nothing more than to give them the world. As much fun as the kinky-ness is, I'll live for the sweet aftercare and tender moments. I've even been writing a book for my future lover haha

I'll definitely do some research on that, love. Thank you so much, and I'm so sorry you have that too. It really can be so hard to deal with, then we feel like the bad guys, even though we're just tired of being hurt. I'm so sorry for making your eyes water love, you had even done the same to me haha x I understand how big the craving is to have someone be soft and tender with you, so I'm glad I get to use this platform to be that for others anonymously <3

I'll begin getting more comfortable with showing my sub side more publically, but not toooo much, that side of me is delicate and precious, and only reserved to those that earn it x which is a very rare case but yes somebody has cracked me haha, I won't be surprised if she reads this

I adore long asks love, they make me so happy <33 and I adore talking with you just as much :) mwah, have a beautiful day xxx

[gotmyass2marz]

HIHIIII don’t mind me immediately coming to your inbox I just gotta yap for a few more seconds then I’ll let ya go OKOK

I AM GENJINELG SHAKING IM SOSOSOSOSOSO GLAD YOU LIKE THE DRAWINGSSSS

fuck . I messed up mortal Ren death SHJSHSHSHWHW whatever at least ya liked it .also if you couldn’t see cuz of the filter I did in fact get the scars on his arms :333 JUSR SYAING IDK WHY

IF YOU DONT MIND ME CONTINUOUSLY TAGGING YOU ILL TRY TO DO MORE ART EVERY DAY . IT HELPS ME OUT CAUSE IM LEARNING DIGITAL ART as long as you’re good with that ofcofc

YEAGHHHHB YOUR OCS ARE SO DOPE . I WOULD LITERALLY LOVE TO GO THROUGH AND DRAW ALL OF THEM IN MY FREE TIME SOOO IF YOU DONT MIND THROWING A LIST AT ME ID FEEL HONORED TO DO SO :333 I CAN ALSO DO CHARACTERS FROM SHOWS AND GAMES AND STUFF

considering I forgot half the things I was gonna say ((<- ass memory)) and this is already getting long I’ll stop here BUTTTT literally soso happy you like it if you want me to draw anything ((for whatever reason .im not too good at it anyways BUT PRACTICE IS THE COMICALLY LARGE KEY HERE)) LMK AND ILL MOST LIKELY DO IT ‼️‼️

LITERALLY HAVE THE COOLEST DAY EVERRRRR OK BYEBYE SORRY TO MAKE YOU READ ALLAT ^_^_^_^_^

HELLOOOOOO STREETY HIHIHIHJHI !!!!!!!!! YOU ARE LICHERALLY SO SO SWEET AND BASED I SWEEEAARRRR YOU CAN MAKE ME + TAG ME IN FANART AS MUCH AS YR HEART DESIRES BUT PLEASE REMEMBER TO TAKE BREAKS TOO .burnout will gut you like a Fish if you aint careful ANYWAYS GN ILY SLASH PEE ^_____^

[diabloii]

hi eren i want to listen to more metal & im wondering where i should start. so far ive listened to like nu-metal(? idk what the correct term is) stuff like poppy and babymetal and ofc vocaloid metal like utsu-p

omg permission to be annoying 101 here i go ok im gonna cut this cause its long bleh... im like bad at talking about music really but ill try my best to make sense... mostly into black + death myself

ok so most of those are very like pop adjacent... nu-metal + electronic pop (im pretty unfamiliar im just going off of stuff ive read). so basically i tried to make a playlist where it kind of goes from uhhh.. "normal" to "extreme" for lack of a better phrase ig >__< from nu metal to black metal. theres def like... you know... a lot more genres out there than what i personally included but i figured itd do .. dont really need to go into grindcore and whatever i figured thisd work best as intro

i tried being very selective here and tried to go as short as possible.. umm like i have that whole other playlist where its pretty much all the metal i listen to minus the stuff that isnt on spotify/.... said in the playlist desc but i went with a lot of the popular songs *thumbs up*

nu metal (SOAD -> evanescence):

i somewhat actively bag on nu metal like rlly hard haha BUT im pretty into System of a Down (fun drumming and serj has a good voice), and i did include an evanescence song although thats.. i mean theyre nu-metal but my mind just says "emo moment".

sludge (melvins -> alice in chains):

sludge tends to cross a lot with grunge and just rock in general... so sometimes its a lot less metal and more rock or grunge but i thought itd be good to include anywayu

thrash + death (riffobia -> death):

merging these together cause they kinda go together sometimes... like dont get me wrong theres differences but. yep. so with thrash its like, metallica megadeth anthrax slayer etc like its the Big One but i really dont listen to any of those because idc oops. HOWEVER scythelord is absolutely one of my fave bands of all time and theyre kind of like thrash/death, i tried not to go overboard including them but... oops. yep

brutal death (cannibal corpse -> inveracity):

so brutal death is just death but some guy burps into the microphone the whole time basically andwell i love it. nonetheless i limited its addition in tge playlist because . um. because people dont like it that much and thats fair

black metal (darkthrone -> sarastus):

YAYYY sooo distortion and screeching and shitty quality and very atmospheric . and theyre not on spotify but again plugging these guys because its such a good album..

**le extra** atmospheric doom stuff (sea witch -> black tremor)

sort of a bonus in my eyes but yes my two atmospheric doom bands that i love. no vocals all instrumental and jusr vibes um sea witch is all nautical and black tremor is all dust storm feeling. you just get it if u hear it *nodding*

oh my god this is long im sorry WOW well i hope that helps like any amount even ^__^ yep