#sorry im in a Mood tonight

[mauvemischief]

Do you think Todd cried when it was spring again and Neil was still gone?

Maybe because all was reborn but Neil,

Maybe because even the world was moving on from Neil.

[offorestsongs]

Lysander not remembering his last name is immensely funny because Rook really swooped in like "well then you can have mine-"

[bronzetomatoes]

Crazy how hockey is literally the best sport in the world

[bugstung]

Ok on the topic of disability I definitely struggle with calling myself disabled

Like the few time I've told people they got "wait you're disabled??"

And I have to explain that yes by definition, me having chronic pains is a disability

So I usually avoid doing it and just suck it up

[kostektyw]

absolutely correct opinion: parasyte soundtrack fucking slaps so hard

my unpopular opinion: next to you is overrated

[cosmicskittlez]

i know we talk about robo fucking all the time but what about robo romance? what about taking a robot for a nice walk through nature and seeing who can say the most facts about a certain species? what about giving them small at home repairs every now and again and unscrewing their panels with the same amount of tenderness as one would brushing one's cheek? what about slow dancing with them to songs from your culture and theirs as you simply take in the moment to watch as your fingers lock with their digits, as your hand cups so perfectly around their waist as if you were made to hold it? what about laying down with them, their hand over your heart as it feels your heart beat and your ear to their chest as you hear electricity running through them? what about domestic robot love?

[rigginsstreet]

i also think what a lot of people dont understand about billy - or refuse to acknowledge the true extent of the effect of it all - is that this is a kid who has been taught to perceive everything around him as a threat. to him, his life is in constant danger.

and when youre living under that state of mind you really have one of two choices; harden yourself and BECOME the threat to protect yourself, or make yourself small and fade into the shadows

and its kind of asinine to me that you would fault someone for what option they chose

you know its not okay to berate someone for becoming depressed over their abuse or crying about it, why is it okay to shame someone for how they choose to protect themselves?

and its the way people cant coincide in their brain that you can actually say "hey, your coping methods are kinda fucked lets work it out". because to them all they hear is "this person has never done anything wrong and everything is fine"

but then you wanna call other people stupid .... okay

sorry i can hold multiple thoughts in my head. as if its my fault

[bg3-dyes]

I'm going to start chewing on the devs who decided to change some of the really nice color schemes for my favorite dyes on my favorite outfits

same

[gemmahale]

Ugh. If you know me you know how much it takes to get me to seething, raging, inferno levels of emotion.

But there are two things that will trip me over the edge instantaneously:

Bullies

Double standards

I may be 5’6” and 270lbs, but you bet your ass I’m squaring up, ready to throw punches right now.

Appalling, uncalled for, and disgusting behavior in anons right now. Knock it the fuck off.

You aren’t special. You aren’t better than anyone. You can’t say it with your chest because you know it’s hurtful and mean. You only say it behind the shroud of anonymity because you know you shouldn’t say it at all.

Fuck off with your self-absorbed, cruel, ridiculous attitude. Go get some fuckin’ fresh air and think about why you felt the need to send hate because someone didn’t answer you “fast enough.” Miss me with that shit.

[euclydya]

Cocomelon [verb]

1. To (subtly?) trick or deceive

2. To mesmerize a victim, whether they’re an infant or high or simply confused

*don't worry about what cock videos means 👍

[mauvemischief]

Hey sometimes i think about the fact that Neil never got to know the Todd Anderson who learned to love his voice.

[soulpunk-2011]

I am not immune to fat hairy sweaty men

[bronzetomatoes]

there's this sick ass fucking website that lets you sort the province by forest region and see what areas are protected under the old-growth forest policy

[jadewritesficshere]

Pretend

Robin Buckley x fem!reader

Contains: Angst to the max, growing up, menstruation (bleeding and all that entails) and puberty, homophobia (related to teasing and bullying), internalized homophobia, hurt no comfort

-This was a way to write my feelings regarding that girl from my life-

When you were young, you were on the playground swinging on a swing when the chains of the swing next to you rattled. Instead of sitting normally, a girl with lopsided pigtails laid on her stomach and kicked off with her legs. "What are you doing?" You quietly asked. "Flying." She held her arms out and giggled, "Like superman."

You watch for a moment as she continues to giggle. It looked fun. You stand abruptly and watch as her smile falls rapidly. She plants her feet, jolting herself to a stop so fast she almost knocks herself to the ground. You can see her face flush and her eyes look away, almost curling in on herself.

But her eyes went wide as she watched you walk around the swing and lay across it. You hesitantly kicked your feet off the ground, felt the swing push into your ribs and stomach. But she was right, you were flying. You could hear the chains rattle and her laughs begin again as she started back up.

Your parents found you both on the swings, laughing and pretending you were flying. You became inseparable, living two streets apart. Running throughout the neighborhood on adventures.

One summer day around ten years old, you convinced her to go rollerskating with you. Her brand new pink helmet and your purple one shone bright as her mother took a picture. Your faces were pressed together with wide grins as your arms were slung over the other's shoulder.

Robin had ended up crashing into you, knocking out your two front teeth as you landed in a jumble on the ground. Robin had apologized profusely, tears welling in her eyes. She grabbed your hand and raced you back home, apologizing profusely the whole way. Your face felt warm with embarrassment. You pretended it wasn't a big deal.

Her mother had jumped as Robin threw the door open so hard it shuddered on its frame. Her mother had held a frozen bag of peas to your face and her soothing tone calmed and comforted you both. It didn't take long for you both to get distracted by Popsicles. Her mother snapped another picture of the two of you then. You both had scraped knees and dirt covering you, but you both smiled (yours had two less teeth).

When you were a preteen, Robin went to a summer camp and you had been sick. She almost stayed, but you convinced her to go without you. Your stomach hurt so bad, you thought you were dying. You were convinced you were when you awoke in your own blood. Your parents had ran into your room when you screamed. Your father had taken one look and turned on his heel and immediately walked out, stammering awkwardly.

You had the talk then. You already knew about it but it wasn't something you thought about happening to you. You noticed the difference at the end of the summer. You were taller and had started wearing a training bra. But if you thought you had grown, it was nothing compared to Robin. Your mouth had dropped when you saw her again and had to look up at her. You pretended you were mad she had grown taller then you before hugging her tightly.

When you were a freshman, you and Robin went to a sleepover. Normally, you two would share the same bed. Awaking in the morning with Robin half sprawled on top of you. But that was when it was just two of you not a room full of girls. Everyone was giggling and talking about their crushes. "Who do you like?" One of the girls asked.

You hummed, pretending to think. "Well, i do like my lab partner, Josh," you finally declared. The girls chorused a round of Oohs. "What about you, Robs?" You locked eyes with your friend. "Oh uh..." Robin's eyes darted to the ground. "Oh come on, we all know who Robin likes!" Mary, or was it Marcy, declared. Robin's face paled and she stammered," What? No uh, it- it's not-" "Steve Harrington! You're always staring at him!"

The girls were giggling and laughing, going on about Steve and how cute he was. You watched as Robin relaxed, smiling. You pretended you weren't upset that she hadn't told you, her best friend.

When you were a sophomore, Robin was in band while you weren't. You were seeing her less and less. You threw your books in your locker as Tommy made excuses as to why he wouldn't be able to do his part of the project you were assigned. You barely paid attention until his arm darted out in front of you, peeling the picture of you and Robin off the inside. "Buckley? The band geek?" Tommy snorted. "Hey!" You tried snatching it out of his hand but he held it above his head.

"Why do you have a picture of Buckley in your locker?" Tommy asked, peering into the photo. "We're friends, do you not have any?" You asked snatching it out of his hand as he showed it to Carol. "I don't have pictures of Steve in my locker," Tommy defended. "Well maybe you aren't friends," you shrug.

"Or maybe you like Buckley?" Tommy declared, loudly. You could feel others eyes on you," What? No." Carol grimaced and looked at you," Ew, you like girls? We have the same gym class. Oh my god, are you like perving on us?" You could feel the stares growing. "Fuck no!" You threw the picture in your locker and slammed," That's weird! She's weird! I would never like her! As if!"

You turned your head and saw Robin staring at you. Her eyes with tears. Your mouth dropped open to say something but you hesitated. Robin turned and walked away. You pretended you didn't feel sick as you watched your friend walk away.

You were a junior when Starcourt Mall opened. You went to get ice cream when you saw Robin. She was rolling her eyes at her crush, Steve Harrington, but smiling. She locked eyes with you and her grin fell. You waved tentatively, but she turned and went back to talking to Steve. He kissed her forehead. You pretended that you didn't care, hurt and guilt blooming in you.

You left that summer. You thought Hawkins, Indiana was far behind you. You heard about Starcourt burning down, but you went through your senior year and college pretending like Hawkins never existed.

You had just got your degree when you ran into Steve Harrington at a bar in Indy. His swooped hair and hazel eyes looked you up and down, not an ounce of recollection in his eyes. "Sorry about that," he grinned at you," Can I buy you a drink?" Before you could respond, a person barreled into him. Robin.

She clung to him as she rambled about something, trailing off as she realized you were standing there. "Robin..." you blinked. She seemed settled. More sure of herself. It had been only a handful of years, but felt like a lifetime. "Y/N." Her tone betrayed nothing. Steve's eyes darted back to you, widening with realization. "Hey," You hesitant smiled," You look great Robs." "Thanks." You pretended not to notice the glance they shared. Steve invited you to sit with them.

You were glad he did because you got your friend back that night. You had drunkenly sobbed in her arms, apologizing. She had bawled holding you to her, forgiving you. Steve corralled you both into his car. You pretended like the alcohol was barely making you nauseous, getting warned by Steve not to barf in his car.

You wish you could say you could remember every time you hung out after that. Every moment. But there were far too many. Your wall was filled with pictures of you and Robin. Your hand shook as you looked back down at the pale purple invitation in your hand. Cordially invited to the marriage of Robin Buckley and-

You looked back at the wall. Pretending not to be effected. A tear slipped down your cheek.

That's what you did best. Pretended. From the very start.

You had pretended you were flying as a child as if your entire worldview didn't shift and fall out from you as you met the prettiest girl you ever saw. As you felt drawn to her in a way you hadn't felt before, even if you didn't understand it then.

You had pretended it wasn't a big deal when your teeth got knocked out, because you wanted to seem cool to Robin. Your palm sweaty in hers as she led you home. Your heart was beating fast for some reason you hadn't quite realized yet, but you liked holding her hand.

You had pretended you were mad she grew taller because you couldn't believe how good she looked. How you felt awkward and were growing pimples but she looked so good. You hugged her tight, liking how she felt wrapped in your arms.

You pretended you weren't upset she hadn't told you about her crush when you truly were. You had thought you didn't like anyone and just said Josh, because you only thought about Robin. You thought she felt the same. Hearing Steve's name was a shock to your system. And that was when you realized you liked her.

Your stomach had fallen, all the ideas of the future you created came tumbling down. Because of course two women living together and growing old together wasn't normal... of course people got married and did other things. Because of course Robin liked Steve Harrington, you had seen her staring.

You had pretended you didn't care about the picture, about her. You wanted to crawl out of your skin, feeling the stares and whispers. You weren't ready to face it. A part of you hated yourself, for hurting her and for liking her. You pretended you didn't feel sick and like you wanted to bawl watching her walk away. You wanted to scream at yourself because this never would have happened if you were "normal" like your parents wanted.

You pretended you didn't care about Steve kissing Robin's forehead, when you wanted nothing more to rip his perfect hair out. You wanted to kick him in the balls and be the one to kiss Robin's stupid perfect face. You wanted to throw yourself at her feet, begging her to forgive you. You wanted to kiss her senseless, which you quickly tucked back away in it's neat little box. Because women shouldn't kiss other women.

You pretended like your heart hadn't stopped when you heard about Starcourt, when you thought she may have been a casualty. You stole your parents' car and drove back to Hawkins to make sure she was okay. As soon as you saw her with Steve on her front porch, you drove straight back. You cursed him but was also thanking him, because you knew he had helped save her given the state of the two of them.

One day in college when you finally stumbled into a gay bar and cried, you pretended you weren't thinking about what could have been. About how it was okay and that you weren't odd or weird. That there were others just like you. You pretended like you didn't think of her all the time. That every time you kissed someone you compared it to her. That you wished when you opened your eyes you would be staring into hers.

It was fate running into them at that random bar. You had decided to go hear some band play. It was chance but you thought it was fate. You pretended you didn't feel the years of guilt at hurting Robin roll off as she said she forgave you and misses you. You pretended like you didn't imagine a future with her again, as if Steve wasn't there.

You had pretended the alcohol had made you nauseous, but really it was Steve Fucking Harrington having everything you wanted. It was seeing Robin giggle and him helping her into the car, when it should have been you.

You didn't want to not have her in your life. You were glad at any piece she was willing to give you. You wanted to get on your hands and knees begging like a dog for even a scrap of her.

Taking pictures and hanging them up so at least a piece of her lived with you. The time she ran a marathon with Steve and had collapsed into you fake dying. The time you snapped a picture where she had passed out on your couch under your blanket.

She never knew that you had gotten the date you met tattooed on your rib, the same spot the swing had dug into you. So at least a part of her was always with you. That you had always kept that picture her mom took of the two of you after roller skating as kids, because you could see even then your eyes alight with love for her.

It wasn't fair. You were gone for her the day you met, even the years you couldn't admit it out loud. She had stolen your heart from you, something you would have willingly given if she asked. But now her heart was given to someone else. Getting married.

You were too late. Because you never told her the truth. Because you never told her you loved her. You never were honest with her about liking women.

But you would smile and pretend it was all okay. Even as you crinkled the lavender invitation, even as tears rolled down your face, you smiled. Pretending like nothing was wrong. Because that's what you do best, pretending.

[flamesignite]

//drinks iced coffee at 11:30 pm. Welp. It's a good thing my muse for Roy is high so I am going to take advantage of that.

[stardustfanfare]

i think its kind of funny how asmr is so weirdly stigmatized like you could say haha yeah i like listening to white noise or nature sounds or whatever to fall asleep but as soon as you say the four magic letters its over for you