#sorry im getting poetic can you tell im in love with him
Explore tagged Tumblr posts
phoenxwright · 2 days ago
Text
Tumblr media Tumblr media Tumblr media
Taking a much needed rest with a new friend
450 notes · View notes
dirt-str1der · 2 years ago
Text
I keep thinking about the mechanics for how to make kazumaji happen outside of adrenaline fuelled lovemaking , like obviously majima isnt going to solicit him for an actual relationship because whatever they have going on is already more than he expected to get because majima isnt a wanting man he gets dealt his hand then he plays (plus hes waiting for someone else , he cant leave and have his story end with kiryu , they both know this) , kiryu isnt a wanting man either i mean not for his love life but you know this guy fights like hell to get what he wants. He doesn’t exactly have a problem pulling girls but its the commitment after thats the issue , he always has someplace to be thats not here no matter how suave and charming he is youre gonna be wondering why he ghosted you for three years then find out he just got released from prison the point is that he doesnt follow through. Once youre done with him then youre done and very rarely is he gonna come back (unless he wasnt actually done with you). Majima offers to help him out in osaka and kiryu says no no no see ive left you behind i have to live this next chapter of my life properly now , without you. He has this inability to understand that people want to spend time with him thats not him helping them / repaying him a favour / working together to achieve a common goal. You literally cant assume he’ll be around you really have to cling tight or he’ll find some reason to fuck off and by then you cant even ask him to stay because Shit is it a good reason. Y0 nishiki got so so fucking close to showing kiryu he didnt need to have any redeeming qualities for people to like hanging out with him. He didnt need to be fun or like to party or entertaining at all , just him sitting quietly on a nearby barstool and maybe clapping along is enough to make his night fun as hell. Im sure kiryu realises that he can be distant and lack initiative , im sure this self awareness has convinced him that hes an undesirable long term romantic partner , and majima fucking up big time with mirei also forces him to internalise the fact that hes not a good partner either. So the two of them have to really really Really want something to start it because otherwise theyd be gracefully and expertly sidestepping any mention of commitment , pirouetting around the word “partner”, assuming they’ve made things clear when no discussion had taken place. They dont figure it out because its obvious to everybody thats not them, all the thinly veiled offers to be useful to each other, the leaning forward when they speak to each other , the open mouthed kisses with tongue , they want each other. More than one time , more than This... but how does one communicate something they havent realised yet ...
#Yakuza loveblog#now hear me out .. kiryu only asks girls out but he wont say no if a guy (he likes) solicits him (if its a guy he doesnt like hed be like#EW !! no !!! <- using his homophobic voice) so bear with me. kazumaji can happen the moment kiryu realises that majima is a girl#i like tht kiryu isnt interested in long term relationships but also hes kind of horny. a barker would be like Hey ! you look like you have#big muscles / a deep voice / masculine energy Sir do you want to HAVE SEX ? And kiryus like Now you got me interested#girls will sexually harrass him but guys on the street will tell him shit like Im a straight man but ....#anyway i believe that majima has to get the ball rolling before kiryu can take it the whole way because he decides that he loves this a lot#i think that they should book a hotel room in osaka for about two to three hours (kiryu is not going to risk doing it in the orphanage) and#kiryu loves him enough to tell him i cleaned my ass for this <3 and when majima is sack deep he asks if kiryu has had any girlfriends since#leaving tokyo (he cares a lot. he would be happy if kiryu got a girlfriend to take care of him) and he laughs and asks him how the hell hes#supposed to get a girlfriend while taking care of nine kids and besides .. he only likes him. right now kiryu only likes majima ...#i think he might cry from being told that. i really think he likes kiryu a ridiculous amount and it made him melt to hear that#sometimes a home is a person because you can come inside#and the only thing kiryus waxing is poetic hashtag bush nation#im not done. sorry for signing off. i believe that majima doesnt get jealous he might get a bit melancholy but he wont lash out because#kiryus ‘seeing some other girl’ he would totally ship them forgive my phrasing hed be the best wingman ever he would also drill kiryus#partner like hiiii so this is the lucky lady <3 and conduct a full background check on her just to be safe. kiryus precious to him he#gotta scare her a bit. let her know just how important kiryu is to him and how sharp his knife is haha take it easy though. hope you make#him happier than i could. i think their relationship will always skew one way with majima knowing everything about kiryu and kiryu knowing#very little about majima. he would be surprised to learn that majima is divorced. he was surprised to know that majima had a brother#in a better universe kiryu would have been able to identify saejima by description alone. as it stands i think he might have had an inkling#looking at ... ‘suzuki’ and thinking majima had a brother in prison .. hmmm ... somehow this guy reminds me of him ..... somehow#anyway he knows majima doesnt like to talk about it so he forgets his past and takes him as he is now. doesnt ask where all those scars on#his wrists came from. doesnt ask about his ex wife. hes content to exist as they are and majima knows kiryu wont ask and he feels bad about#it because he thinks kiryu should know .. but the words dont come out and kiryu is always so understanding ...#i think saejima makes majima talk but thats cause hes big on communication. he squeezes it out of majima and he cries hearing what he was#put through and majima comes out of it raw but lighter. see saejima is his best friend but kiryu is his special baby boy the dont need to#they dont have to say anything theyre just here for the company#okay im done hii hiiiiiiiiii hiiiiiiii hi
3 notes · View notes
gay-dorito-dust · 2 months ago
Note
i didn't realise i could just ask here than from messages im so sorry 💀 but im hungry so can you please write some more damian scenarios 😕 (angst/fluff PLEASE 🙏) im sorry if I'm bothering you but i can't get enough of your writing 😔 hope you're taking care of yourself tho!! :)))
Tumblr media
This’ll probably seem really short but it’s like almost 10pm and I’m running on fumes and bad mental health days lately 😂
‘What’re you doing my treasure.’ Damian said as he walked into his room, only to find you had let Ace and Titus on the bed and he had to blink twice to make sure his mind wasn’t making up them wearing pyjamas on top of that.
‘Nothing.’ You said nonchalantly as you brought Titus in your arms, cuddling him while he remained looking at his owner.
‘I thought I said none of our pets should be on the bed?’ Damian then said as he gestured to the two dogs that you had let on the bed without his permission as though the situation you both faced wasn’t obvious.
‘I was feeling lonely when you were out on patrol.’ You replied, pouting. ‘That and I was bored and out the dogs in pyjamas to feel included with me being in pyjamas.’ You added as you smiled widely at him. Damian sighed, he shouldn’t be surprised, this was bound to happen sooner or later since you still had a couple more weeks to heal your leg before being cleared for vigilante work again.
So naturally you are going to rope in Titus and Ace one way or another in your shenanigans much like you did with Jerry and Goliath when you had hurt your arm, Damian almost lost his mind trying to find you only to find you fast sleep stop of Goliath, with Jerry acting on guard in front of you both. It was certainly a humorous sight had he not been on high alert when he couldn’t find you in bed upon his return from a mission with Bruce.
‘You could’ve waited until I came back my beloved, I don’t want you hurting your self further just trying to entertain yourself.’ Damian lightly scolded you as he walked over to your side of the bed, kissing you on the forehead before greeting -and thanking- ace and Titus with head pats and ear scratches, as an almost missable smile graced his face upon seeing the two dogs poetically melt into his scratches.
This was the sight he loved most when coming home and he always wanted to come home to this as many times as he could in the nearby distant future.
‘I’ll be fine Dami,’ you said softly as you reached out to hold his cheek in your hand, ‘I’m not doing anything that’ll cause me any discomfort or more pain then I’m already in and that I’ve been in really good company.’ You gesture towards ace and Titus who would press themselves against either of your sides, acting as living crutches for you when you tried to move about the room and down the halls, they’d even look up at you as though to silently ask if you were okay and if you needed to sit down soon.
You knew Damian was behind this and couldn’t help but bring him into a tender to his forehead. ‘Thank you.’ You whispered.
‘For what my treasure?’ He asks softly as he manages to settle himself on the edge of your shared bed.
‘For having ace and Titus look out of me when you’re gone, sometimes I forget how well you know me to know that I’d get restless when healing.’ You said as you patted both dogs on their sides in appreciation as they both decided that they had gotten comfortable enough to start falling asleep. Neither you nor Damian had the heart to tell them to get off, and silently decided that one night every so often could Ace and Titus could share the bed with you and Damian.
‘Like you said I know you, better then most, and I’d like it more if you didn’t go and get yourself hurt from trying to do something beyond your current capability.’ Damian admitted softly as he began to get into more comfortable sleepwear to join you, Titus and ace in bed by climbing into your side of the bed and holding you again his chest upon seeing as how Titus and ace took up his side of the bed.
‘How sweet of you my dear.’ You said cheekily as you kissed his hand that rested on your side before yawning.
‘Sleep my love,’ Damian said softly as he watched you rest your weary and heavy head upon his chest, ‘sleep sweetly.’ He adds just as you succumb to long awaited sleep as he kissed your forehead, only to follow after you not long after being certain that you’d wouldn’t be bothered anymore before joining you in the dream realm either Titus and Ace.
451 notes · View notes
mitsvriii · 11 months ago
Text
"Nothing's New"
In which your partner is never going to pay attention to you, because they’re too focused on their dead lover
Bell’s notes: “writer bell goes too far with this fic-” im /j no ones gonna say that, angst powers pls work tho, like im asdlkfjawel;fjsd;jf;lska, i cant write dude, let me like, plan this out in my head before writing nonsense, LIKE BRO, feral over angst LORD, 100k likes and you get part 2 /jjjj, growling i love angst, MWHAHAHA, sorry ely, yuka, mhie, snob, and zee if you read this 😔😔😔, i listened to “IT Girl” while writing this 😋, got carried away with Ayato’s part oopsies, i believe Guizhong for the ladies but whatever 😔😔😔, cut out Wanderer & Childe in the end because i’m TIRED, not proofread
Story details: Ayato lowkey a bitch, scratch that highkey, reader has self-doubt, Neuvilette doesn’t mean to be mean he just ISSS, GUIZHONG DID NOTHING STOP MAKING HER THE ONE IN BLAME IN THESE ZHONGLI SCENARIOS, oh and I couldn’t be bothered with Xiao’s part like a quarter through he’s such a flexible yet straight character, it’s the way you can tell when I got lazy with each part, chance Xiao & Zhongli are gonna be ooc as i’ve never written anything but short headcanons for them before
Characters & Triggers: Ayato, Neuvilette, Xiao, & Zhongli;  reader has self-doubt, mention of death, mention of martial neglect
Reader details: female reader in Ayato’s part is explicit. female reader in Neuvilette’s part can be interpreted with the way you read it. the other parts, however, shouldn’t have a specified reader type. reader’s personality, race/ethnicity, height, physical descriptions, or anything of the sort is not mentioned. if anything is let me know and i’ll edit it. 
Ayato: No surprise the Yashiro Commissioner doesn’t pay attention to his new wife, the one that he didn’t marry first. You knew that he didn’t love you, and most likely never would because you were, in fact, the second pick. Actually, it was probably in the hundreds based on the amount of marriage arrangement offers Ayato had gotten considering he was one of the biggest figures in Inazuma. It didn’t matter, but he most likely picked you because your clan was a small one to put it lightly, so he most likely chose it, and you, because it wouldn’t be a hassle with the press. But of course, he would choose the person and clan that seemed, “easy”. It hurt seeing some of the people’s sympathetic stares, such as Ayaka’s, Thoma’s, and a few of the older women working in the estate. You got used to the lack of greeting from Ayato when he got off work, the lack of warmth beside you at night. You found it hilarious, although you were hysteric at the time as you had just found out that Ayato was off that day and neglected to see you, that he never, ever laid down in the same bed as you. It doesn’t matter no matter how hard you work around the estate, how long you sit up doing his work, which you soon quit once he yelled at you like a homeless dog, or even the distinct flower you made out of one of Ayato’s favorite sweets that he ignored. Not even a glance at your general direction, either. After a while, you decided to do some digging on his past wife, only to find out that she was in fact near perfect. Perfect reputation, perfect everything, to put it shortly. Shortly after asking Ayaka what happened to her, by pulling the sad, guilty wife card, you found out she was a victim of an assassination attempt that turned into a success. Of course, Ayato and his perfect wife would only be torn apart by death. It was poetic, and it made you sick. So what were you to do but endure the slow torture that you and Ayato’s marriage was? After all, nothing you could do could change how he felt about you. 
Neuvillette: The famous hydro dragon, at least to those who knew his ‘secret’. His past lover, unfortunately, died before him, no doubt to his immortality. Of course, you would soon die, maybe in a few decades but, hey, it wasn’t like he would miss you. You could only wait awake at night as Neuvillette went to fix himself his own meal, despite you staying up to cook him one and await for his return from work. It’s not that was the only time he never paid attention to you, after all the man had most likely been grieving his wife for centuries at this point in time. So what were you to do besides stay and watch this man be emotionally constipated around you? Why did he even marry you in the first place, then? It couldn’t be because his past wife resembled you, and it certainly wasn’t because you both acted the same. Was it because he needed someone to cling to? I mean, you weren’t exactly someone who seemed to not fit the criteria of a compassionate co-worker who would comfort Neuvillette in his times of distress. Did Neuvilette only come to you because you were his way of grieving? It would make partial sense, to cling to the nearest piece of comfort to help with the pain of loss. It made you feel like nothing but an object meant for his emotional wants, but in reality, that’s all you ever are and will ever be to him. 
Xiao: The famous adeptus long ago, had someone close to him. Shame they fell to waste during the archon wars, along with the other adepti. It was no surprise that everyone familiar with Liyue stories knew about the two of them together, which unfortunately included you. It didn’t pain you that much until your oh-so-loveable boyfriend got distracted by two kids playing with a Xiao lantern and one of her. After that, it only devolved into more. The lack of visits to your room in the inn, the lack of responses whenever you left your little notes for him near your meet-up place, and the extreme lack of thank-you-notes whenever you left Xiao almond tofu. It didn’t matter that you started to skip and completely ignore doing all of these things just to see if he would notice because the adeptus failed to appear in your room just to check in to see if you were okay. This behavior was unlike him, at least in the sense of him completely ignoring you. The only answer you could think of, that logically made sense, of course, was that he was reminded of his past loved one because of the run-in with the lanterns you two had while out in Liyue. So in terms, he seemed to disconnect with you because of the memories of his past significant other? You knew the adepti didn’t die peacefully, you could tell that much from the stories, so it wouldn’t be surprising if that also applied to Xiao’s past lover. There was nothing you could do about it though, because if you knew Xiao, he wouldn’t talk about her to you nor push her aside for you.
Zhongli: Guizhong. Of course, you were familiar with the name, everyone in Liyue was. Everyone might be a stretch considering the visitors and children, but the point’s been made. Morax and Guizhong were close. Close in a sense of possibly having relationship affairs but that was only explicit to you because of the way your lover would glace at glaze lilies. You couldn’t call him your lover, could you? Not with the way he would hum to the glaze lilies, the way his eyes would also drift away from you whenever you talked as you took strolls through Guilu Plains, and the way he would opt to tell stories of specific tales of his time as Morax, ones that included Guizhong in some way. It got to the point where you had to make up tasks that you had to do daily just to get away from the walks you two took, not to hear the different-yet-similar stories of Morax and totally not Guizhong. It was childish of you to be doing so, you had yourself convinced, as you couldn’t blame Guizhong for any of it. She had no part of this besides well, besides being your number one stressor for the past few weeks. It was tiring yet somehow for the sake of not wanting a glare or side-eye from Zhongli about his stories, which you never thought you’d get that tired of hearing, you kept your mouth shut, despite how hard it was. You knew it would only take so much more, though, before you said something about it. 
454 notes · View notes
transient-winds · 30 days ago
Text
The conclusion of the Noroshi arc has finally arrived! Way to go Bofurin and allies 🥹🙌!!
Tumblr media
Spoilers for Wind Breaker Chapters 157 and Chapter 158 ahead! (with additional doodles as an apology for not posting last time, exams was kicking my ass i fear)
Crazy how this whole arc happened in around or in less than 12 hours and I was so ready for it to end on 157 but I should’ve know Takiishi was too stubborn to be knocked out so easily.
GAHHH I have so much to say about the symbolisms in these two chapters.
Tumblr media
So first of all, the “Umemiya’s will to change Furin is akin to forging metal” analogy from Endo (Chapter 153) comes back in 157, but now it’s being used in the context of Takiishi. The metal (Takiishi) is finally hot enough to be malleable for potential change and its evident with his new found interest in the rain. Throughout most of Takiishi’s life, he has remained static. He gets what he wants, when he wants and how he wants it. If he doesn’t like it, he gets rid of it. There had been little else that has ever made a significant impact or changes in his life, then he meets Endo and Umemiya—
Tumblr media
—both becoming the faces of his perception on the types of people that exist in his life. Then, Umemiya takes it a step further and becomes the catalyst to a (much needed) change in perspective for Takiishi. In my opinion, Takiishi liking the rain can be symbolic of two things:
(1) the rain or more specifically water in Buddhism symbolizes purity, clarity and calmness. Think back to how hellish and messy Takiishi’s mindscape was like in Chapter 153, it had been full of all his interests (notice the fireworks in the bkgd? he said he likes fireworks in 158) and how he perceives things from the outside world. Takiishi starting to like rain means he’s introducing rain to his mindscape, and I can only assume it helps clean up that horder’s wet dream of a place. That is to say, he’s allowing himself to be cleaned from the impurities and bring serenity into his life.
Tumblr media
and (2) it represents Takiishi reaching Nirvana (or something similar to it). Now, to most people this probably came out my ass but hear me out: nirvana literally means “to blow out (a light/fire)” or in other words “to extinguish” and as a concept in Buddhism, its a state in which one extinguishes the three posions (i.e. greed, hatred and ignorance) from their life and reaches enlightenment. AND THE TITLE OF CHAPTER 158 IS “The Great Fires of Extinction*”. *smacks my scrub-down board* DO YOU SEE THE CONNECTION RN? TELL ME IM NOT CRAZY FOR THINKING THIS. What I’m getting at is Umemiya was able to help in quelling the poisonous flames of Takiishi’s heart and guided him to self-betterment JUST LIKE THE DUTIES OF FUDO MYO-O AND EXACTLY LIKE HOW BUDDHA CONVERTED THE EIGHT LEGIONS TO BUDDHISM. (Sorry for the capslock im just *gestures wildly* excited)
*note: my delulu brain made the connection between extinction and extinguish because they both refer to the removal of something. (update: etymologically, they both orginated from the same latin word extinguere / lit. destroy or put out)
By the end of this arc, Takiishi has changed significantly and, as much as I hate to say this, but I agree with Endo on this being a beautiful fight. It had been a long time coming for both parties but it had been a necessary conversation to kickstart a new beginning for Takiishi like a rebirth of sorts (+ it allowed Endo and Sakura to gain perspective on people, their complexities and for the latter the responsibilities of being top dog). Wish it didn’t have to end in the rooftop and the town becoming a mess, but oh well, we can’t have everything.
I love love LOVE how Nii-sensei writes Umemiya. His role as a guide and protector to both his people and his enemies is so fucking beautiful and poetic, my words won’t do it justice. In my heart, I see it as him stepping up to be the big brother figure he was always meant to be—had the accident not happened, he would’ve been the best one in the world.
“There’s nothing more fascinating than people.” AGREED KING, SPEAK YOUR TRUTH. I
NOW FOR MY SILLY YAPPING!
Tumblr media
UmeEndo conversation really shines in 158 and I’m living for it. I get you UmeEndo shippers, I get you. Endo’s so fucking weirded out by Ume’s optimism and genuineness, I genuinely love how uncomfortable he gets. I’m framing the faces he made in this chapter. Oh how the turns have tabled, you absolute goof.
I already said this once to a friend but I’ll only say it one more time, but I’m genuinely happy for Endo. He has stuck onto Takiishi like a leech without any expectation for the latter’s reciprocation and it was kind of pitiful watching him dance around Takiishi like an annoying chihuahua. Now that Takiishi has officially and verbally acknowledged him, it was heart warming…I guess. I'll let him ride this high with a follow up sketch I'll share here later.
Despite no sunrise panel, I think it was appropriate for this arc to end in a downpour. It’s fitting like a forest fire dying down from the rain to replenish the earth and grow anew with all the nutrients from the ash remains of the forest (shoutout to Ales for her EndoChikaUme being Fuel, Fire and Ash post, im kissing your brain rn). Overall, very happy with the conclusion of the Noroshi arc and I’m happily dancing to Happy Xmas (War is Over) by the Plastic Ono. All the love to Nii-sensei and everyone in the official English translation staff for literally the best arc so far in the manga. And thanks for reading ‘til the end of this post. ^^
Tumblr media
79 notes · View notes
nijisanji-brain-rot-fics · 1 year ago
Text
luxiem x reader || them on your wedding day
Tumblr media
a/n : i got rlly bored and honestly luxiem is my life support sooooo headcanons abt how luxiem would be like on yalls wedding day
anyways HAVE FUN PLS TELL ME IF I SCREW UP FORMATTING OR SMTH LOL
Tumblr media
SHU YAMINO
would be the type to look calm before the wedding but fucking lose his shit when he sees you walking down that aisle
tears streaming down his face kind of crying, but then hides it when you get up to the front
'you may now kiss the bride' he would absolutely start tearing up again before kissing you
GIRL WHEN I TELL YOU RECEPTION WOULD BE LIT
magic tricks. thats all im gonna say. i dont know.
i feel like he'd be the type to lead ur first dance and whisper sweet shit while dancing
would be one of those people who starts crying during father-child dance
Tumblr media
LUCA KANESHIRO
cute nervous smile when he sees you walking up that aisle
he would so be looking at you with puppy dog eyes
I JUST KNOW HE WOULD HAVE ONE OF HIS MAFIA MEN AS HIS GROOMSMEN JUST SO WHEN THE OFFICIATOR SAYS "if there are any objections, speak now or forever hold your peace", THAT ONE GUY WOULD GO UP BY THE FRONT AND FLASH A GUN AT THE AUDIENCE
YK FOR GOOD MEASURE
yall would probably laugh (except for maybe a poor soul who was going to object)
WHEN I SAY HES GOOD AT DANCING, HES ACTUALLY REALLY REALLY BAD AT IT
will accidentally trip on your foot
but will hide it ever so gracefully
mistugetsu un deux trois [help i cant spell]
Tumblr media
IKE EVELAND
dawg he would dead ass be tearing up
hes trying his best not to cry but just ends up tearing up by the end
HE WILL PURPOSEFULLY CHANGE HIS LINES DURING YALLS MARRIAGE TO BE MORE "POETIC" [hes just a tryhard novelist]
hes actually good at dancing??? surprisingly??
hes defo living his romance novel life
WILL DO. EVERYTHING. THAT HE WRITES IN HIS FLUFFY ROMANCE NOVELS. TO YOU.
all those times he wrote dances within his novels, YEAH HE'S GONNA DO ONE WITH YOU ON YOUR WEDDING DAY [bonus points if the dance is in a book with a self insert of him and you]
Tumblr media
MYSTA RIAS
MY MANS WOULD BE BAWLING
LIKE UR GONNA HAVE TO COMFORT HIM UP AT THE FRONT
he'd be really emotional about it, and we love that [NO HATE OK WE LOVE EMOTIONAL MEN]
he would definitely hug you when yall kiss
HE PRACTICED FOR DAYS FOR UR FIRST DANCE TOGETHER
HE DIDNT WANNA ACCIDENTALLY FUCK UP
hes defintely getting a LITTLE tipsy during reception
Tumblr media
VOX AKUMA
SEXY MAN
the only one who wouldnt tear up honestly, like he'd just smile sweetly while u walk up the aisle
he would be SMITTEN while the officiator talks
just looking at you with the sweetest goddamn look a demon can muster
what do yall expect
he obviously knows how to dance, AND WELL AND ELEGANTLY
would be by your side THE WHOLE TIME IN RECEPTION
hand on waist, motherfucker AINT LETTING YOU GO [unless he had to, and ONLY if he had to]
------------------------
a/n: ty for reading :D THIS IS MY FIRST HEADCANON THING BUT LIKE YEAH [im biased with ike ok im sorry LMAO]
430 notes · View notes
tojiwrd · 1 year ago
Text
4: fate is fickle ; gojo satoru
Tumblr media Tumblr media Tumblr media
pairing gojo satoru x fem!reader
summary when satoru breaks off your engagement, you understand and accept it. but when he marries someone else, you don't understand because he didn't want to be tied down.
content warnings family problems, bad, sad, emotional infidelity, dangerously short chapter im sorry getting you ready for the next one &lt;;33 flashback flashback y did satoru end it with u??
word count 1.3k
a/n i'll beat both of them up i promise
send thoughts ↞ prev next ↠ to be added to taglist
People said promising yourself to someone you love was euphoric; it was a feeling you couldn’t achieve through any other form of happiness or drugs. Satoru believed that because when he asked you to marry him and you said yes, he felt as though he could rearrange and hang every star in the sky to spell your names for the rest of eternity. It was electric, the feeling, and he couldn’t get enough of it.
But Satoru wasn’t somebody who was ever in the midst of two lines; if he was happy, he was so fucking happy, and if he was sad, he was so fucking sad. 
Growing up in his home hadn’t taught him many things, but he’d come out of it with two lessons he’d always abide by:
Never, ever make promises you can’t keep.
If you can go against Gojo Takayashi’s wishes, do it.
He knew that he should wait to tell his parents about his engagement with you until you were with him, which is why he didn’t let it slip during the first dinner he had with his parents since he put a ring on your finger. When his father said he’d invited a guest over, Satoru felt more at ease to keep his mouth shut because, even though his parents were not his favorite people, he was itching to see their reaction. The little boy that lived somewhere in the abyss of his mind expected them to pop champagne, for his mother to immediately call each and every one of the people she knew to tell them the good news, for his father to pat him on the back with a gleeful smile that made him feel like he’d at least done one thing to make him proud.
And, even though his second rule was to always strive to go against his father, he felt it would be some sort of a twisted poetic number for his father to be proud of him for loving you. For you loving him back.
Kimura Hana was pleasant, and her parents even more so. Despite that, both children on the dinner table that night had a hard time trying to entertain themselves with the dull conversation. Their fathers droned on about their next upcoming business ventures, constantly toasting to the point they’d made a toast to the art of toasting, claiming that it was the best excuse for people to down more alcohol with good intention. 
Hana kicked his leg underneath the table from beside him and Satoru, Y/N-loving, elated-over-his-engagement-in-private Satoru, almost sent her a glare for being so close to him. But he covered it when he noticed a small napkin she passed his way, a small giggle leaving her lips. 
He opened it, and there he read, in pretty and small handwriting with red ink:
this is sooooo boring.
He looked around and patted his pockets subtly when her lithe fingers reached out, right above his lap, and offered him a pen. He gave her a small smile before replying:
If i have to hear another stupid toast, I’m going back to my room
She scanned his reply, and he noticed her lips curve up upwards as she did. Satoru leaned back, fork mushing the leftovers of his desert as he waited for her. Her hands reached down, and placed it right on his thigh and he almost jolted at the slight hint of her fingers against his jean-clad thighs.
He shakily opened the response, a misplaced sense of guilt ravishing his brain.
what about me???
He tried not to think much before he replied, reminding himself that this was friendly. She was being friendly.
You can come up too. I’d hate to leave you here with the wolves.
“Gojo,” Hana said, her voice loud enough for the entire table to hear. Satoru turned to her, raising his brows. “You wanted to show me that book, right?” She turned to her mother. “Ma, do we have enough time for me to go up and check it out?”
Her mother smiled a very specific kind of smile, and Satoru once again reminded himself that this was friendly. 
“Oh, of course. With the way things are going, I think we have about twenty more toasts to go.”
Satoru glanced back at his father who, in his drunken stupor, paid him no mind while his mother barely looked his way, eyes focused on the empty plate below her. 
When Hana went through his small bookshelf, something he didn’t think she’d actually do, he sat on his messy bed and watched her. She stopped at one of the books and pulled it out, a small smile on her lips as she turned back to look at Satoru. 
“What is this?” she asked, plopping down on the bed as she scanned a CD he’d placed in the middle of all the books. It was something Geto had given him once after a fight he’d had with you two months into your relationship, and if he remembered correctly, he’d written, on top of the case with a thick, black marker: move on bro!! Geto had brought it up in one of your recent conversations and said he wasn’t right in the head to think either of you could ever move on from the other, and followed that statement by saying you were meant for each other.
“Uh, my friend gave it to me after I had a… well—”
“A breakup?”
It was a small falling out, but he didn’t correct her because it was so long ago. So, he nodded. 
“Breakups are so—they’re so annoying.”
Satoru chuckled, curious. “Got your heart broke or somethin’?”
She shook her head vigorously, as though she hated that statement with every fiber in her bones. “No, at least not recently. Probably because I hate the idea of meaningless relationships.”
Meaningless relationships? “Elaborate.”
“I don’t know! Like, I’ve thought about it and I just don’t see the reason to tie myself down to someone, you know? I’m young and I have a lot of time to get serious and have joint bank accounts but now? I feel like if I ever tied myself down, it’d end sometime because we end up hating each other for holding each other back while we’re so young.”
He tried not to think about her words too much, but it was hard. He was sure she’d say something completely different were he to tell him about you and your engagement, sugarcoating her words and saying stuff like not you! I’m just talking about me, of course. And that was what he didn’t want. He appreciated her brutal honesty because she was unknowingly giving her perspective on something he hadn’t thought about before getting engaged. 
You love her and you’re her fiance, a part of his mind told him, holding him back from probing further. But another part, the part of him that was always scared over one thing or another pushed him to ask her more. 
And he did, he asked until he was unconsciously convincing himself that the two of you shouldn’t go through with this, but not enough for him to break it off with you. 
What did convince him to break it off with you was something that happened around a month later, after he and Hana had hung out plenty of times due to the increasing closeness of their parents. It was because he found himself shifting his chair closer to hers during dinner. It was because he unconsciously raised his thigh everytime she passed him a note and didn’t reach out his hand so her fingers would graze over it. It was because he was texting her more than he was texting you, and a part of him didn’t seem to mind it. 
He knew it was wrong, despite the plethora of times he tried to convince himself that it was platonic. He couldn’t deny that there was something so utterly wrong about how he didn’t want to tell Hana that he was engaged to you. He didn’t end it with you after doing something that would instantly cross the line he’d been teetering over the edge of for a month, he ended it with you when he felt like if she would cross that line unknowingly, he wouldn’t stop himself from giving in. 
And Satoru didn’t want to cross that line.
410 notes · View notes
milksnake-tea · 3 months ago
Note
Dunno if you've ever answered an ask like this before, but do you mind telling us about your mutuals?
Rather, their writing styles and how they interact (No pressure if this sounds like I'm intruding on a boundary or something, I've noticed that you reblog a lot of works and I'm trying to find more fic writers from HSR and Genshin to support, but sometimes it feels a little scary 😅)
HELP NO IT'S OKAY !!! no fear in asking, we love people like you <333 these are mainly the mutuals that i've read fics from so that i can actually tell you how they write but still. THIS IS GOING TO BE A LONG ONE STRAP IN FOLKS. if i forgot ygs im sorry oops... also sorry for the tag COUGHS (esp to the ppl i keep tagging when i get asked abt my moots BYE kawa skip mhie naru ren im so sorry i love you i swear)
@generalsmemories
NARU !!! ONE OF MY FIRST EVER HSR MOOTS AND ONE OF THE WRITERS I LOOK UP TO THE MOST. her writing style is very scenic?? if i were to describe it, it's very dreamy and whimsical and it's like reading a fantasy book. very descriptive but not so descriptive that you're eating fancy words. she's jing yuan centric but occasionally writes for others such as dan heng and sunday! she's honestly very very silly when it comes to interaction, like in an older sister way <33 she talks like an aesthetic if that makes sense
@inarvii
skip has a very elegant feel to her writing like LORD. it's giving noble/fantasy thriller enemies to lovers but in a writing style i love her prose and how she really makes you feel the vibe of a scene. she's really kind and sweet, gives older sister vibes lowkey
@k9wa
kawa is like me but x497842389 cooler and with a lot better grasp on characters. you want proper characterization? you want big brain ideas? GO TO HIM. his writing feels theatric, like a movie or a play. it's so descriptive and he does an amazing job at describing action and characters and GRGRGRGR
@luvether
lord i dont know if its okay to tag you but uhm. hi waves hand 😭😭 honestly i haven't interacted w kou much but from what i can tell she's really nice!! BUT I HAVE READ HER WRITING. AND LAWRD. her writing feels like little snapshots of life, you feel like you're actually like. THERE. she always has the biggest brain of ideas i swear and i highly recommend her writing. mostly fluff with a touch of angst, one of my favorites fr !!
@emiken-070907
hi emi. bet you didn't expect to get tagged here huh. but you have one hsr fic and that's enough for me to slap you onto here and promo you (it's on ao3 and it's not an x reader, but it is a tragedy yanqing timeskip!!! i beta read for that btw flips hair (i still need to edit im so sorry emi please)). as for interaction, she is silly asf. TO ME PERSONALLY? shes like the ratty little sibling that you want to throw out the window but would also kill for. has great vibes over all, she's so sweet but sometimes shes a lil shit so. yeah. idk how she acts to followers but she is like that to ME. but she is full of whimsy and glee so there's that
@rainswept
edgar allan poe incarnate over here??? HELLO??? crow is. her writing is RAW. like okay this is going to get a bit gorey but they write like a freshly opened wound, it's vulnerable, it's poetic, it's pure imagery and i LOVE it. also another goofy moot. i think like just attracts like atp
@tragedy-of-commons
gwen is an absolute SWEETHEART. very silly. BUT THEY'RE SO SWEET. her writing is literally sunlight put into literary terms, if that makes sense. it's warm, comfy, and cozy (except when she kills you in the arms of your favorite character. which she has done) and i highly recommend her writing for a comfy read <3
@iceunhie
mhie is a HATER OF THE HIGHEST ORDER jk i love her she just bullies me GOODBYE 😭 mhie gives off older sister vibes, a lot of people (including me HELP) see her as intimidating but she's really sweet once you get to know her. or she calls you milk. who knows. ANYWAYS genuinely one of the people i look up to most, she always gives amazing feedback on writing and her own writing??? the prose??? she's a master at it. knows how to really elevate a piece and it's just really easy on the eyes. she's also a research writer, her jiaoqiu fic utilizes chinese proverbs and terminology and i think that's really neat <3
@st6rly
hi bottom beta. okay wait sorry you have a reputation i forgot ANYWAYS. SOL IS SUCH A SILLY GOOSE. i love him. BUT HE IS SO GOOFY AND I MEAN THAT IN A POSITIVE WAY. i haven't read that much about what sol writes unfortunately since i'm no longer interested in genshin that much 😭😭 but i've heard good things !! definitely someone you wanna check out if you like good vibes :D
@lowkeyren
ren my pookiebear my LORD !!! resident aquila favonia haver (she has like 21 as of right now) and she serves every time she writes. always gets slapped onto my rec list because she's one of the few writers that genuinely have me kicking and giggling 😭 really cute, really tension filled, one of my favorite authors :))
@scribs-dibs
SUNNIII true to his name his writing feels just so warm and light, like a slice of life anime. very relaxing reads, at least from what i've seen !! very warm, really really cute <33 like the main one that ive read from him is that alhaitham jealousy fic and??? the characterization was ON POINT. i loved it so much (the switch up made me laugh) as for personality. HES FUNNY. LIKE HES STRAIGHT UP HILARIOUS I LOVE HIM GO CHECK HIM OUT I SWEAR ITS WORTH IT
@akutasoda
q has a very pretty vibe if that makes sense, i haven't read much from them but i can definitely say that their writing style is beautiful, like a meadow full of flowers or a quiet stream. they've always been kind to me in that sort of older sibling way, and they're someone that i would trust as an emergency contact. lots of genshin and hsr from what i've seen on my dash, so definitely go check them out!
@aviiarie
avery's on the more reserved side, at least from my point of view, or maybe that's because when i first met them they had a ferminet pfp. they're pretty chill and casual, and can i just say? their writing is very easy to read, it has great flow and i can just lose myself in the fic. like i don't see the words i see what the words are saying, if that makes sense. avery also focuses on platonic writing, although they have been writing some romance with furina!! my personal favorite work of theirs was that fic of arlecchino comforting her crying child because it made me feel so much better about my life at 9 am when i just woke up.
@vynicity
FELICITYYYY she's a mutual in my heart even tho apparently tumblr thinks i dont follow her. but i do. ANYWAYS. another person that i consider on the more reserved side, but she's been fun whenever we talked. can i just say. SHE IS SO GOOD AT WRITING AVENTURINE. there's this one fic down the line about him being drunk??? i think??? and I ATE THAT UP because the tension and atmosphere that she managed to create. just magnificent. she has an aventurine series up right now iirc (i still need to read the new chapter im so sorry feli) and the prologue was. a roller coaster so definitely go check her out!
@vxnuslogy
vee is literally bursting with ideas and by god does she put them to use. i always see them brainrotting or thinking of new ideas or things to write, literally one of the most creative people ive met. can be a little silly, but still a sweetheart <33 her writing is more formal than what i'm used to i'll admit, but still a delight to read nevertheless <33 very descriptive is how i'd describe it, like it feels like she's looking at the scene as shes writing it
@ughscara
ayame is like. the sweetest person i have ever met. like ill be here being a little shit and she'll still be an absolute sweetheart I ALMOST FEEL BAD BECAUSE SHE HAS TO DEAL WITH MY ASS BYE 😭😭 i just recently reblogged one of her works and it straight up feels like it came out of a fairytale, it was so light and sweet <33
62 notes · View notes
yunniebun · 4 months ago
Text
ᰔ ᩚ ┆ ꒰ DIARY NOTE ꒱
Tumblr media Tumblr media Tumblr media
୨୧ boyfriend!suguru who you can discuss philosophical and tender reminiscences with.
“Suguru, do you ever think our love got in the way of anything you ever wanted in life?”
The young man was stunted, the abruption of the query impaling him upon surprise; however his response came true. He chuckled, a candied bumble which nulled your tense expression.
“Love, it has gotten in the way once.”
The dusky glow of the waning sunlight endowed a nebulous veil across Suguru’s countenance, his bangs swaying gently in tandem with the cinematic breeze. You held your expression, longing— yearning, to ask what had been denied by the bindings of “love”, yet your conscious heeded otherwise. Suguru was of course, aware of your conflicted state, aware of his secretive teasing lilt to his ambiguous statement which was sure to give you a glint of insecurity before you found truth and sheepishly grinned, and aware of your mouths’ inability to keep from opening when provoked.
“….I’m sorry Suguru, could I ask when?” You pouted slightly— presumably unintentionally, wispy locks falling and framing the curvature of your tinted cheeks, as your head ashamedly lowered, gaze meeting the silken shared covers. Suguru couldn’t keep teasing you when you looked so pitiful.
“The only time our romantic emotions have affected my decisions, ambitions, and wants, was when you’ve persuaded me to do good. I’m sure you remember when I called you that day, I was so angry I could hear the blood roaring in my ears, seeing our future daughters locked in cages like lowly animals and forced to sheath their hackles for the twisted and narrow-minded ideologies of non-jujutsu sorcerers. I would have massacred all those monkeys if it weren’t for you, your voice on the phone telling me repeatedly to calm down and wait. If it weren’t for you and your loves’ effect on me, we most probably wouldn’t be here today, angel.”
Bashfully, your lips curl upwards, dusted cheeks now heating in abundance, you bat your lashes and grinned as your eyes instinctively traversed to meet your artful husband. This man, whom had thrived since teenage years solely to tease you to death and revive you with genuity and affection, now lay completely enchanted by the romance which never declined, oscillating your frame while encasing you in his large embrace, an embrace which sparked you a zest for life each and every moment.
“Y’know Suguru, Satoru had once told me how love was the worst curse of all, yet I can’t help but disagree that a state of affection or admiration is a curse.” Your eyelids remained shut, yet your mouth active. “After all, if this is a curse; then all I need in life is your unconditional curses.”
A wholehearted smile graced Suguru’s blush-bitten cheeks. You always knew how to match his energy, match his demeanour, and now— it felt as though not a single feature of either one of you fell miscellaneous between one another.
The symphony of rhythmic heartbeats lulled the two intertwined lovers into a fulfilled slumber. Perhaps love was a curse, a curse which condemned those who lose it to yearn for it back, Suguru was sure he categorised under that spectrum.
Tumblr media Tumblr media
꒰ ๋࣭ authors note. aaaaaa this is for my poetic and philosophical girls !! not only is this my ①st drabble, it is also a filler for those waiting on my other work……ㅠㅠ im so sorry its taking so long, but I promise to get it finalised soon !! lets have faith and thank you for supporting ♥︎
©2024 yunniebun ┊ do not translate, copy, modify
130 notes · View notes
sxtvrns · 2 years ago
Text
purity and its presence in growth
Tumblr media
🎶 now playing: my heart it beats for you - grentperez
P: Soul (Haku Shota) x Fem!Reader
S: Moving to Korea in the peak of your adolesence isn't easy. You just happened to be there to help. How can he miss you so much even though you only knew each other for an hour? Maybe exchanging numbers was a better idea than he thought.
C: fluff, cute moments, inaccuracy, brainrot, baby p1ece don't slander me, needed to get this into my drafts immediately, kinda sloppy, drabble, puppy love, longer than it should be
N: Y/N is your first name, L/N is your last name. i saw somewhere online that said soul moved to korea when he was 13 for fnc and somehow this idea began to brew in the deep depths of my strange brain. im a little new to piwon so if i get something wrong im sorry :P any ages mentioned are korean age, not international. his name means like 'child with a pure soul' so thats why the title sounds so poetic but okay enjoy the potato child content
view the rest of the conversations ☆彡
please interact if you enjoy!
Tumblr media
After the almost 3 hour flight to Incheon, Shota stands in the airport mindlessly, staring at his phone and trying to resist the urge to call his mom. Though he knew that she'd pick up in a heartbeat if he did, he suddenly had a rush of independence surge through his veins when he stepped off the plane, telling himself every day was gonna be lonesome and that he'd have to learn how to get around. It wasn't until he got near the exit that he realized he had no idea what to do.
He should ask someone. There was a high chance quite a few people on that flight could also speak Japanese, but even so, he couldn't muster up the courage to talk to anybody. So he stood awkwardly, out of the way, watching all the people walk by and glance at him periodically.
He'd been studying Korean during his break time at school while at home in Japan, but he was afraid he'd say something wrong and embarass himself.
His eyes wandered amongst the people, and past the crowd of tall adults, there was you. A girl, who looked around his age, spacing out by some suitcases while some other adults, probably your parents, were talking to the clerks at the service deck. He took a deep breath, dragging his suitcases along with him as he shuffled past the bustling crowd and up to you.
"Excuse me." He mutters, catching your attention. "I need... to go... to this place. I.... don't know how." Your head tilts a little, confused while the cogs begin to turn in your head while he shows you the address. "You need a ride?" He nods. "Well, there's the railroad, but maybe a taxi can get you there faster..."
Now he's the confused one. "Could you... speak... slower?"
"Do you understand Korean?" You ask. He gestures with his fingers almost pinched together, meaning a little. "What other languages do you speak?"
"Japanese."
You smile. "If I'd known that, I would've answered in it then." You say, switching tongues so smoothly Shota's brain nearly fails to comprehend what just happened. "Where are your parents? Mine are taking too long at the desk."
"I came alone. My mom might come in the next few days to help me with moving. And send me off.”
"You and your mom are moving here? What about your dad?"
"No, I'm moving here. Alone. Just me. For work." You eye him and the two suitcases at both of his sides. "You look my age. How do you already have a job?"
"Um... I'm a trainee." Your eyes widen as you begin to nod, shocked. "Really? Already?" He nods as your eyes observe him again. "Cool. That's- wow, okay..." You struggle to finish your sentence, cutting yourself off. "Right, you need to get around- okay. Um, you could follow me. I know how to get the one way passes. Do you have money?" He nods. You begin to walk away as he trails behind you, following you to some sort of kiosk.
Guiding him through purchasing a pass, your parents meet with you by the railway, scolding you for walking off without informing them first before stepping on and finding seats on the train. The boy sits down next to you in the window seat, staring out at the scenery for the first time. "You could have taken a taxi, but I felt like I should've stayed with you. Y'know, so I can tell you more about how to get around and stuff."
"Thank you, by the way. I appreciate this. I think I would've gotten run over without you." He jokes lightheartedly. "No problem. I suddenly felt nice for once, so you're lucky you caught me at a good time." You send him the same energy, both of you laughing as the train begins to move. "When you get off with us, you can ask for a taxi, they'll drive you to the exact address. I’m sure you already know that, though." You add, him nodding before leaning fully back against the chair.
"What's your name?"
The question catches him off guard, staring at your awaiting face, almost forgetting to answer.
"Shota."
The way he introduces himself to you makes you smile. "L/N. Nice to meet you. It's nice having someone to talk to at my age that speaks my mother tongue. Even if all we do is just sit here and pass out while waiting to arrive." Your matching humour is something that sticks out to Shota, one that he likes laughing along to. "It must be scary, flying here alone and having to figure things out on your own. Especially with how young you are. I hope you'll do okay when we part ways."
"I'm still here for now. What are you and your family doing here?" He changes the topic, not wanting to think about you having to leave him so soon. "My dad's side of the family is Korean, so we come here often to visit them. We're considering moving here, since their side is trying to convince me to sign up for a career in modelling. They always say I 'have the visuals', which I don't see, but it wouldn't hurt to try."
"Don't forget me when you're famous." Shota says.
"I could say the same for you, Mr. Trainee. You'll make it far, I bet. I'm looking forward to your debut already."
"And I'm looking forward to seeing you on the billboards." You both smile at each other, a brief moment of silence settling between you two. Shota feels a tap on the side of his arm, head turning to look at you. You hold your phone towards him, the keypad open and empty. "Is it okay if we exchange numbers? This may be the only time we ever see each other, and I like talking to you. And you can text me if you ever need anything. I respond very quickly." Your attempt at convincing him was not needed, as he took your phone out of your hands swiftly and punched his number in. You did the same for his phone when he handed it to you, creating your contact for him.
L/N (ㆁωㆁ)
You write your name in Kanji for him, hearing him huff after you hand back his phone. You couldn't see the soft smile that adorned his face after seeing the contact name you set for yourself, as your eyes were already beginning to shut and send you into a deep sleep. For the rest of the ride, Shota looks out the window and all the buildings they pass by. Feeling a light weight against his arm, his gaze moves to check.
Your head rests against his arm, Shota listening carefully and hearing soft, deep breaths come from you. At first, he nearly freezes, but forgets about it and relaxes, letting you doze against his arm, checking on you periodically until the train reaches your stop.
Your parents are the first to see you two in that position, and while Shota's first instict is to panic and apologize, the idea quickly goes away, a smile on your mom's face as she shakes you gently to wake you up. When you first open your eyes, you see your mom, then turn to see Shota staring at you, nearly leaning against the window. You slowly begin to put the pieces together, embarrassed when coming to the correct conclusion.
When you wave as his taxi departs from the train station, reality dawns upon him. He’s alone, and he’ll have to figure out more than just how to get around since you’re gone now. He didn’t want to have to depend on you and annoy you all the time, so he vowed to himself that he’d learn and teach himself, along with the help of his fellow group members.
━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━
After Shota settled into the dorm and was toured around headquarters, the feeling of lying in bed suddenly felt more desirable than he thought it’d ever be. It’s been a few days since he parted ways with you, and he was hesitant to text you for some unknown reason.
He stared at your open empty message box for a while, spacing out until his phone starts buzzing in his hand. He reads your name on the screen, realizing you were calling him. He sits up, still in shock at the timing that he almost forgets to answer.
“Hello?” He greets, almost unsure. “Shota! How are you? Sorry I haven’t texted or anything, I’ve been having a lot of meetings with my family and stuff.” He’s frozen in place at the sound of your voice, so gleeful than how you first met. “No, it’s okay. I spent the last few days settling in so it’s fine.”
“Are you busy right now? Am I calling at a bad time?”
“No.”
“Are you okay? You sound nervous.”
He sits there for a moment, taking a deep breath before responding.
“I kinda miss you.” It’s embarrassing for him to admit, but he really does. “Oh.” He hears you mutter over the phone, probably unaware that he heard. “I miss you too, Shota. It sounds strange, but I do get worried about you sometimes. But the fact you picked up the phone is assurance that you’re okay, so…”
“It’s a bit hard when you aren’t around, y’know? Like, I don’t know, maybe it’s because you can speak Japanese and I’m not afraid of messing up in front of you because I can speak my home language, but it’s hard to talk to other people. Even my groupmates. I can understand what they’re saying, but I’m too nervous to mess up to even say anything to them.”
“Well, you can’t get better at speaking if you don’t speak at all. It’s okay to make mistakes, Shota. I made a lot when I was learning too. At least you try.”
“Kee– I mean, one of my group members is teaching me. He had to learn it too.”
“So you’re both learning together! That’s good, you both share learning experiences. I’d love to teach you, but it’s kinda hard over call.”
“But it’s possible?”
“Yeah.”
He ponders for a moment before coming up with an idea. “I have a laptop. We can video call when I’m not busy.”
“Really? Are you okay with it?”
“I’m the one that asked.”
“Do you think we can call… for non-lesson purposes? Y’know, just to talk?”
He huffs, and thought you don’t see it, you hear a smile in his tone. “Of course. I’d really like that.”
The door to their room opens, Jongseob entering. “Hi Soul.” Apparently his voice picks up on the microphone, because you ask, “Who’s that?”
“My roommate. One of them.”
“Who are you talking to?” Jongseob asks, looking over at Soul. “My friend.”
“Who’s your friend?”
“We met at the...” Soul knows the word, but is worried he’ll say it wrong.
“Airport.” You find the word for him, saying it into his ear.
“…Airport. She helped me.” He finishes his sentence with your help.
“She? Aren’t we not allowed to talk to girls as trainees?”
“We aren’t?”
“I think so? Maybe I’m thinking of something else; I keep in touch with my friends so I think it’s fine.”
“Are they all boys?”
“Mostly. Some girls.”
“I can’t talk to you anymore?” You ask, Shota almost forgetting he was on call with you. “We can. I think. We’ll do it in secret.” He hears you laugh on the other end. “Soul?” You say, overhearing the name his friend called him.
“My Korean name. I came up with it. With my roommates.”
“It’s cute! It suits you.” For some reason, he feels too flattered at your compliment. He overhears someone yelling in the background. “I need to go and help with dinner. I’ll talk to you soon! Bye!”
“Bye–“ He gets cut off by the sound of the call ending, letting himself fall back onto the bed, arms sprawled out. Jongseob looks over again at his roommate, who’s staring at the ceiling. “Are you okay?” He asks. Soul lazily responds with a thumbs up. “What happened?”
“Cute.” He mutters loud enough for his roommate to hear. “Cute?” Jongseob questions, puzzled. Soul points at himself, the cogs turning in his roommate’s head briefly before his eyes widen in realization. “She called you cute?!”
“My name.”
“Your name? She called your name cute? Soul?” He nods, Jongseob more shocked than he should’ve been. “Don’t fall in love yet, Soul, we haven’t debuted yet.” He jokes lightheartedly before he goes back to scrolling on his phone.
For a while, you’re the one to initiate calls. You always hesitate, knowing how busy he is, but you eventually learn that he’s off on Sundays and is usually off training well past 10 in the evening. If otherwise, he calls you first.
He enjoys talking to you a lot. He’s more comfortable speaking his home language in general, and the fact he has someone to talk to in it makes coming home from practice even more exciting.
His roommates would wonder why he rushes to his room so quickly the minute they step foot back in their dorm, but don’t question it. As long as he was able to talk to you, through call or text, he was able to stay sane.
While on FaceTime with him, the door to his room opens, as it usually does when you two call, this time a different man you haven’t seen before by the door. You eventually met Jongseob, the first guy who walked in on the two of you calling, and saw what he looked like, but this guy was definitely not him. He looked a little intimidating.
“Soul, do you want anything? We’re ordering delivery.” The man asks, Soul looking back at him. “Fries.”
“Just fries? Like usual?”
“I want… the same thing as you. Except large fries.”
“Okay, sure. Who’s that?” He seems to have noticed your face on Soul’s phone screen. “My friend. This is Keeho.” He introduces the man at the door to you, the name familiar. “He’s teaching you Korean?” The man gives a thumbs up, switching to a wave. “Hello, Soul’s friend!” He greets, his smile ridding all your previous opinions of him being intimidating.
“Hello! I’m just talking to Soul for a bit. How are you?” You reply, Keeho equally befuddled as Soul when he first met you, and how you switched tongues so effortlessly. “I’m doing well, thank you. How did you two meet?”
“Airport. I helped him get around for a bit.”
“Oh, really? That’s cool. I’ll be heading out now, sorry to interrupt.” Keeho waves at the camera again before shutting the door. Soul turns back to face you. “He looked scary.” You admit. Soul seems to agree with you, given the expression on his face. “That’s what I thought too! But he’s really nice and funny.”
“How many of your roommates know about me?”
“He’s the second one.”
“And how many roommates do you have?”
“Five. Plus me, so six.”
“Six?! And you share a room with how many people?”
“3 per bedroom. The whole place is actually quite roomy.”
“I don’t think I’d survive…”
“If you’re rooming with just girls, you’ll be fine. Boys, however…”
“Yeah, I get what you mean.”
━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━
“You got a haircut!”
“You noticed.”
“Of course I noticed. It looks really good!”
“I got something else too.”
“What is it?”
Soul grabs something out of frame, eyes focusing on his fingers. “Keeho and I went out today. I found these rings and bought them.” He curls his hand into a fist, showing them off to the camera. It’s a variety of different skull rings, a few on his right hand and a few on his left. “Cool! Where’d you get them? I want some for myself.”
“I can just give you one.”
“Really? But you just bought them.”
“When we meet up sometime, you can pick one.”
“Are you sure?”
“If it helps remind you of me.”
Your face goes warm. “You’re so sweet, Shota.”
“Did you cut your hair?” He asks. You’re surprised he noticed, given how subtle the difference was. “It was just a trim. And they made it flowier or something.” His head moves closer to the camera. “Are you keeping it this short?” You shake your head. “Getting rid of split ends and stuff. It’ll grow back eventually.”
“It’s very pretty. It looks good on you.”
“Thank you…” You mutter, flustered for a reason you can’t make out. How noticeable could a subtle change be that it could evoke such words not meant to be anything more than meaningful?“I really want to see you.”
“You’re seeing me right now.” He jokes. “I know, but… in person. I feel kinda limited only being able to see you on my laptop or phone screen.”
“Me too. I haven’t debuted, so it’s kind of risky for me to be hanging out with a girl. Outside.”
“They don’t know we’ve been calling?”
“They know. But it’s more discreet this way because no one can see us.”
“When are you debuting?”
“I don’t know yet. And if I did, I don’t know if I’d be allowed to tell you.”
“I’m good at keeping secrets! I still remember some from 5th grade.”
“If you say so.”
“Oh, I just remembered I needed to tell you something.”
“What is it?”
A smile slowly grows on your face. “I’m moving here.” Shota’s face is equally as shocked. “Really?”
“I got signed with an agent and got a few bookings! They’re small, but they’re something.”
“L/N, that’s amazing! You’re– you’re gonna be famous! I’m gonna see your face in all the stores!” You laugh at his enthusiasm. “Hey, maybe when we’re both famous, we can hang out in public! Maybe we can collaborate.”
It was always moments like this, purity radiated off your interactions. You’d get excited over the thought of seeing each other in person, what you’d do when you finally meet up, and how long you’d hang out together (you two always insisted on a night at your place). What you’d talk about, the kinds of pictures you’d take, what kind of food you could eat.
After all, you two were still kids.
You celebrated his 16th birthday late into the night, on voice call after his in person celebration with his roommates. He wished you were there as he blew out the candles on his cake.
“Happy birthday, Shota.” You softly greet, knowing he’s on the verge of falling asleep as he laid in bed. “Thank you.” He mutters, voice muffled, his face buried in his blankets. “I wish I could be with you in person. I got you a gift.”
“Really? You didn’t have to…”
“I wanted to. I’ll give it to you when we finally meet up.”
“We always say we’re gonna meet up, but when? I don’t know if I can wait much longer.”
“It’s only a matter of your schedule. I’m free most of the time.”
“Maybe after I finally debut this year…” Shota’s eyes widen, realizing what he just said. “What? You’re debuting?”
“I didn’t mean to say that–“ You squeal softly over the phone in an attempt to not wreck his ears. “When were you going to tell me?!”
“Honestly, I forgot. I forget a lot of things.”
You stifle a laugh. “I’m so proud of you! All your hard work is finally paying off– maybe we really can see each other! When are you debuting?”
“Sometime later this year. It’s why I haven’t been picking up your calls, I’ve been really busy recording and stuff. Sorry.”
“Don’t be. You do what you gotta do, okay? Just call me whenever you aren’t busy. Or text. Or whatever, I’m okay with anything.”
Shota softly chuckles. “So what did you get me?”
“It’s a surprise. You’ll find out eventually.”
“I’ll be 17 by the time I get that gift…”
“Keep your head up, Shota, we’ll see each other soon enough. You sound tired. Get some rest. Goodnight.” He breathes slow and deep before replying. “Goodnight, L/N.” He ends the call, taking out his earbuds and putting them and his phone on the small, crowded bedside table.
“Was that L/N?” Jongseob asked groggily. Soul replied with a monotone ‘mmm’, meaning he was right. “Who’s L/N?” Theo asks from the far side of the room. “Soul’s friend. They call all the time.”
“You talk to her like she’s your girlfriend. How you want to see her all the time and stuff. It’s cute.” Theo mutters, Soul barely making out what he said. His face goes warm at the assumption. “We haven’t seen each other… in 2 years. We’ve only met once in person.”
“And training is holding you back from seeing her? That’s why you video call?” Jongseob puts two and two together, receiving the same monotone response from Soul. “We’re off tomorrow. You can see her then.”
“But we haven’t debuted yet.”
“So? Intak meets with his friends all the time.”
“They’re all guys.”
“Soul, you can’t exactly be deprived of meeting up with your friends. And what if she’s a girl? If you want to hang out with her, hang out with her.” Theo speaks up, voice clearer now that his head isn’t buried in his blankets. “This goes for you too, Jongseob. You guys are still kids. If you’re being forced to be an adult in the industry, at least try to have fun while you’re still young outside of work.”
Soul lays there for a moment. “What if she’s sleeping?” He asks aloud. “The fact she called you this late means she’s probably still awake at this time.” Jongseob says, convincing Soul to pick up his phone one last time for the night. He opens your contact in his messages, typing swiftly.
I’m off tomorrow. Can we meet up?
By the time he falls asleep, he receives a message from you.
Yes please (⌒▽⌒)
━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━
“L/N? You’re seeing her today?” Keeho asks, making himself a bowl of cereal as Soul eats his own. Soul responds monotone with his mouth full, his leader sitting down with him. “Do you want me to go with you? I won’t stay the whole time, I’ll just drop you off with her then walk around myself, might just get some new clothes.”
‘You bought new clothes a week ago…’ Soul thinks.
“Are you gonna get her something? How long are you gonna be out for?” Soul shrugs his shoulders at Keeho’s question. The other bedroom door opens, Jiung emerging from the dark room with a loud yawn before closing the door. “Morning.” He greets, going for the same breakfast choice as the two boys sitting at the table.
“Does he know?” Keeho points at Jiung with his thumb. “Jiung and Intak don’t know.” The boy at the kitchen counter looks at them weirdly. “Me and Intak don’t know what?” He questions, suspicious of his two group-mates. “L/N.” Keeho answers.
“Who’s L/N?”
“He doesn’t know…!” Keeho whispers.
“Oh…” Jiung says after a brief moment of staring into space. “Isn’t that Soul’s girlfriend?”
Keeho nearly chokes on his cereal. “Girlfriend?!”
“No, she’s my friend!”
“Oh, my bad. You’re always smiling at your phone and you talk so lovey dovey in your room. The walls are quite thin.” Soul couldn’t figure out what was more embarrassing; the fact that the people in the other room could hear him talking to you or the fact two people thought he had a girlfriend. “We’re still trainees, Jiung, we can’t date. Besides, he’s only 16.”
“Just saying. Maybe after we debut, you can date–“
“Jiung, if you don’t stop talking, I’m going to cut your hair off in your sleep.” Keeho threatens. It seems to work, given that Jiung begins to eat his breakfast in silence. “I guess he does know.” Soul mutters, mostly to himself.
“So are you getting her anything?” Keeho asks, going back to his answered question. “Ring.” Soul shows off the accessories that decorated his fingers. “Really? I thought you said you’d never give those away. And that you’d end the world if you ever lost them…”
“I promised. And we can match.”
“Aww.” Jiung coos, the two boys at the table glaring at him. “What?”
Keeho turns back to Soul, taking their empty cereal bowls and stacking them on top of each other. “Go get changed, we’ll leave soon.” He says, going to put the dishes in the sick.
By the time Soul gets back to his room, Jongseob and Theo are awake, their lamps on. “Morning, Soul. How are you up so early?” Theo greets, Soul shrugging in response. They watch as their early bird roommate picks an outfit, throwing his clothes onto the bed. “Are you going somewhere?” Jongseob asks.
“I’m seeing L/N today.”
They both look at him, wide eyed and now fully awake. “Really?!”
“It was your idea.” He says, referring to both of them. “When are you leaving?” Theo asks, eyes still on Soul. “Soon. Keeho is walking with me. Then we’ll be on our own.”
“So it’s like a date?” Jongseob nudges Theo hard in the side. “Does everyone think that?” Soul groans, his roommates heading for the door.“Everyone that knows.” Jongseob smirks before he shuts the door, leaving Soul alone with his thoughts in the bedroom.
On the walk there, Soul plays with his fingers, fiddles with his rings, almost too nervous to even function. Keeho seems to notice, giving him a pat on the back. “There’s nothing to worry about, Soul. You’ve seen each other, you know each other. You’ve been looking forward to this for so long, what’s wrong?”
“It’s… different in person. I’m excited, but I’m scared I’ll…” Soul looks for the word, Keeho noticing him struggling to finish his sentence. “Embarrass yourself?” Soul nods. “You’ve seen all sides of each other, Soul. I hear you laugh at like… 11 in the evening. I think I heard you fall off your bed once.”
“She’s seen that side of you. I’m sure you’ve seen that side of her, too. You’ll be okay.” Keeho’s words make up the rest of the walk, as Soul stops in his path as his eyes land on you, sitting on a park bench perfectly shaded by a tree. He stands there, simply admiring you, and how he’s so happy he’s seeing you not on his phone screen.
He pulls out his phone, opening your contact and sending you a text.
Look to your right 👀
You do exactly that, and though you’re far away, he sees such a bright glow in your eyes as you get up and run over to him, jumping onto him for a hug. Soul is surprised at your sudden gesture, but happily accepts, holding you tight and even spinning you around.
“Shota! I’m so glad you–“ You notice Keeho out of the corner of your eye, simply smiling at the two of you. “Oh, hi Keeho...” You greet awkwardly, embarrassed that he saw the whole thing. “Nice to meet you, L/N. How long are you gonna be out for?”
“Until Soul wants to go home. A few hours, maybe.”
“Make sure you two stick together, okay? Otherwise all of us are gonna get in trouble in one way or another.” Keeho says lightheartedly before walking off. You look back at Soul, who’s staring at you with the brightest sparkle in his eyes. “You look even better in person.” You say, brushing his hair out of the way.
“Are you saying I don’t look good when we call?”
“I’m saying you look good no matter what.”
“Can I say the same for you?” He asks, as if you’re going to say no. “I actually want to show you something. And I have lots to tell you.” You take his hand without a second thought, pulling him with you. He’s caught off guard with your sudden gesture, but doesn’t protest in any way. Really, he enjoys it.
“Is this okay with you? Sorry, I forgot to ask.” Shota nods with a smile, and that’s all the assurance you need to keep your hold on his hand to guide him. “I hope we can meet like this again sometime. All the time.”
“Hey, I’m here now. Worry about that later.”
“You’re right. Come on!” You tug on his hand as you begin to lightly jog across the street, slowing down when you get nearby. “Okay, close your eyes.” He’s confused at first, but obliges. You guide him to an outside display of a clothing store. “You can open them now.”
Shota uncovers his eyes, seeing your face on display as a model for said store. “It’s you!” He exclaims as you nod off to the side. His gaze switches from you to the photo and back, and he finds himself staring at it for almost too long.
“I want a picture with it.” You laugh, taking his phone from him and snapping a few photos, switching to silly faces for the camera. “Do you like it?”
“I love it. You look so pretty. Beautiful.” Your face goes warm as you stare at him, and he stares at the photo. “You look really good.” He smiles, and your heart starts racing like never before. “Shota…” You mutter into his sleeve, holding onto his hand again. “What?”
“Let’s go. You can see my face some place else.”
“Can I get a photo with them too?”
You roll your eyes, unable to hold in your laugh. “Sure. You can take as many photos as you want.”
The day is full of you running around, taking photos, sharing food and drinks. And for almost all of it, Shota’s hand is in yours, and his grip never loosens. He never wants to let go.
Sitting at an outdoor table of a small café, you hand Shota a gift bag. “What’s this?” He asks. “Happy belated birthday, Shota.” At the sound of that, he looks through the bag, taking out a small potato plush. “Cute…!” He mutters, squeezing it in his hands. “I have one of my own. It came in a set, so I gave this one to you.”
“I love it.” He smiles, going through the bag again. There’s something at the bottom, which he grabs and pulls out. It’s a bracelet, similar to the one you were wearing at the moment. “I wanted to give you something that reminded you of me. If you ever get lonely. Sounds cheesy, but–“
“I’m never taking this off.” His dramatic reply cuts off your sentence as you help him tighten it on his wrist. “I want to give you something too.” You tilt your head. “But it was just your birthday. Shouldn’t you be the one receiving gifts right now?”
“Well, as someone once said, I want to give you something that reminds you of me.” Shota holds out his hands, showing off his rings. “Pick one.”
At first, you’re shocked. “Really?” He nods, watching as your eyes scan over his fingers. “This one.” You point. He takes it off and puts it on for you, and it somehow fits just fine. “I feel so cool now! Thank you.”
On the way back to your place, Shota holds onto your hand again, to the point where if he were to let go, you’d feel like you forgot a piece of yourself. “Are you walking back alone?” You ask, looking up at the sky, which painted a pinkish sunset above. “Keeho is gonna meet me here after you go inside.”
“I just don’t want you walking by yourself. It’s a bit scary.”
“I know. But everything is under control, so I’ll be okay.”
When you reach your home, you turn to look at your friend. “Today was fun. I wanna hang out with you like this again.”
“So do I. But I’m… y’know, I’m busy. With a lot.”
“I know you are. I’ll be waiting for you, Shota. I’m always ready.”
“Haku.”
“Huh?”
“My name. My name is Haku.”
“Haku Shota?” You clarify. He nods. “You have such a pretty name.”
“You’re pretty.”
Oops.
He didn’t mean to say that out loud. While he was embarrassed, your heart was racing. Your face was warm, and it matched the sky.
“You’re pretty, Haku. You are… very handsome.”
You understand how he feels now, attempting to return the compliment. “Am I weird for saying that? Because… I really do mean it. I’m just awkward.” You explain. “Not at all. Have I been weird? Calling you pretty…?”
“No! No– you’re, you’re okay. I liked it– I mean, um…” You stutter over your words, cursing at yourself for revealing too much. Haku laughs. “I’ll call you that more if you like it so much.”
“If you want to kill me, go ahead.”
“I thought you said you liked it.”
“I’ll die of a heart attack. I’ll die happy.”
“Soul!” Someone calls. It’s Keeho, waving at him from afar. “Thanks for today. I’m… I really liked spending time with you.” Soul responds with a long, tight hug, the feeling of being in his arms comforting. “I don’t wanna let go.” Soul mutters into your shoulder. “You’re gonna have to at some point.”
“What if I don’t?”
“Shota–“
“I’ll just stay with you so then we can hang out all the time.”
“You know you can’t do that.” You hear him sigh and reluctantly pull away. “Bye, L/N.”
“Y/N.”
“Hm?”
“It’s Y/N.”
He huffs with a smile. “Bye, Y/N.” He waves as you walk off, walking towards and with Keeho once he sees you let inside your house. “How was it?”
“Really fun. I’m already excited for another one.” Keeho looks at Soul’s hands, noticing one of his fingers bare, a bag in his hand, and his wrist adorned with a new bracelet. He really gave you one of his rings. And you gave him something too.
Though this was your first hang out in a few years, Keeho sensed something unbeknownst to Soul that was bound to bloom at some point. He just didn’t know when.
When they got back to the dorm, Soul went straight to his room and changed, lying down on the bed with your contact open. He changed your name.
L/N Y/N (ㆁωㆁ)
And sent you one last text for the night.
You have a very pretty name (*´꒳`*)
Make that two.
Goodnight (_ _).。o○
━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━
You find it odd that it took you two years to find out each other’s first names, but life goes on the way it always does.
You also found it odd that you enjoyed talking to Shota so much. You’ve always enjoyed talking to him, you just enjoy it a lot more now. Maybe too much.
You were the first person he texted when he debuted. You were also the first person to see any of his performance videos. One thing stayed consistent throughout:
He was wearing your bracelet.
Sometimes it would be hidden under his sleeve, the strings to tighten it peeking out just a little bit. He really meant it when he said he would never take it off, even if that meant getting into trouble with the stylists.
You were peaking in your career as well. You’d gotten a lot more busy with bookings and shows despite being so young. But despite your schedules, you always found time to talk to each other, like always.
And you even found time to hang out in person a lot more than before.
You started wearing masks in public. Sometimes you got recognized, and so did Shota. Nothing too drastic to the point where paparazzi started following you and taking pictures from the bushes. Shota was still careful, though. A scandal too soon into their debut could wreck him and his group’s career.
As careful as he was, Shota still held onto your hand in public. He was much more nervous now that more people knew who he was, and he always found himself latching onto you. The language barrier slowly began to shrink for him, his Korean improving, but he had a hard time talking to strangers. To his group, he was fine.
He couldn’t stop the uneasy feeling in his stomach the closer they got to the counter. Why was he so nervous? He felt like he couldn’t talk to anyone at all. “Could I get a 2 with onion rings?” You ask, the cashier at the till looking at Shota next. He was frozen in place, staring at her, suddenly squeezing your hand with a tight grip. “And a 5. Large fries.” You order for him, paying and taking the receipt and cups.
Shota sits down at a table by the window, ashamed and embarrassed, guilt overwhelming him. It wasn’t such a big deal, yet he felt like a failure for not being able to do something so simple. “Do you want to share?” He doesn’t respond, staring and spacing out at the table mindlessly.
You sit in the chair across from him, looking around to see if anyone is watching. You place your hand on top of his, rings colliding with each other, which brings him back to reality. “What’s wrong? Are you okay?” You ask with such genuineness that he feels guilty for even worrying over such a trivial thing.
“Nothing, it’s… it’s stupid. So stupid.”
“I can’t know how stupid it is if you don’t tell me what’s bothering you.”
Shota looks up at you with puppy eyes, breaking eye contact once he begins to speak. “I… um, I froze when we were ordering. You do it for me all the time and I wanted to do it for myself this time but I just couldn’t… talk. I couldn’t speak, I’ve been getting better at talking but I’m still scared to even order my own food– this is so dumb.” He rests his head on the table, messy black hair hiding his face.
Your hand moves from his hand to his head, fingers running through his hair as you caress him. “Don’t beat yourself up about it, Shota. I’m glad you’re trying, you’re having confidence in yourself. It’s good to take it slow sometimes. I’m always here for you, Keeho is always there for you, your group is there for you! There’s always next time, okay? It may seem like a small step to others, but all that matters is how much it means to you. We’re always here for you. No matter if it’s me or anyone from your group.”
When he lifts his head up, your hand naturally moves from his hair down to his face, your thumb resting on his cheek. “Thank you.” The sparkle in his eyes comes back, as he stares at you for a long time, yet you don’t seem to mind and reciprocate it. Noticing how you two probably look to bystanders, you pull your hand away, face warmer than it should be.
“Um, do you just wanna share? I forgot to ask for medium instead of large.” You refer to the cups in your hand, and he nods, watching as you stumble while getting up from the chair and over to the drink fountain. The cup presses against the trigger, watching as the soda fills the cup to the brim.
As you walk back and grab your order, you can’t help but overthink. Why did you do that? It looked so intimate, and if people knew who you were, if people knew who he was… you’d both get in trouble. Shota would get in trouble because of you. You knew him too well to know that he’d take the blame and risk getting kicked out not even a year into their debut.
When you bring the tray to the table, you feel his eyes on you, and your heart had no reason to be beating so fast in the moment. “Are you okay? You look worried.” This time, Shota asks you. Your head perks up at his voice, snapping you out of it. “I’m okay. Let’s just eat.”
Everything goes back to normal in your silly, lighthearted fashion. You’d steal fries off his side, he’d drink from your straw, and you two would just mess around as you always would. No one came up to either of you with your masks off, so you two continued to be yourselves in the moment, with no one staring.
You find beauty in his personality. How you get to see him like this since you two are so comfortable with each other. Is he like this at his dorm? Probably. But is he ever this excited? Maybe not. You get to see him at full energy, unhinged and expressive, a side that the public might not see in him. And you felt so incredibly lucky.
Shota liked the way you stared at him, and the way a smile would creep up on your face. The way you’d hit a table over and over again or clap your hands when you found something funny. The way you’d pick up on his subtle hints and gestures and how you’d always found a way to make him feel better, the way you’d instantly recognize what’s wrong. You were patient with him, and that’s all he’s ever wanted.
He saw Keeho like an older brother; he acted the same way you did, but there was something different about the way you approached things. The way you weren’t afraid to be so physical with him, and how he wouldn’t recoil from your touch. He loved your hugs, and the way you’d bury yourself in him whenever you did.
Soul finds himself thinking of you at the dorms. He always thinks of you, but this was thinking of you at an extreme. You were on his mind 24/7. He’d think of how much fun certain practices would be if you were there. How you’d criticize him for putting the seasoning packets after putting the ramen in the bowl. Sometimes he’d imagine getting surprised by you. What would happen if you walked through the door right now?
You two saw each other’s quirks and you loved them. You saw sides of each other that the public couldn’t, and it made you both feel special. When you felt your heart racing when you thought of him, you couldn’t help but feel full of dread.
When he saw your photos or clips of your shows, he hated that his face went warm when you came on screen. That he was so hyper focused on you and nothing else.
You were smart. Emotionally and academically. You knew what was happening, but didn’t want to accept it. Really, it was process of elimination.
You started to have feelings for your best friend.
And you hated it. You hated it because him being in the industry pretty much means that he can’t date at all. You’d have to live with feelings that would never be reciprocated, and sometimes it hurt whenever you saw his face, especially when he was looking so damn good.
So you always stayed in denial of your feelings. You gaslighted, convinced, manipulated yourself to get over it, but nothing worked. You couldn’t help that your best friend was just that talented and attractive that when he texts you, you feel butterflies in your stomach and a smile grows onto your face.
Soul, however, was much more unaware of it. He never liked anyone. He was left alone with his thoughts for majority of his childhood, and had female friends but no romantic attraction to anyone.
When he finds himself pondering at the kitchen table, spacing out as he tries to figure out his feelings, his older brother figure, Keeho, sits down with him, after noticing Soul leaving the last bit of food in his bowl and just staring blankly. “You okay?” His voice snaps Soul out of it as he nods.
Intak sits down in the other seat with his own bowl, unintentionally now being a part of the conversation. “Something’s on your mind. You can tell me, I won’t judge.” Soul knows Keeho won’t judge. Intak, however…
Soul’s gaze moves from Keeho to Intak. “Intak won’t care. What’s bothering you?”
“What are we talking about?” Intak asks, clueless.
“L/N.”
“What’s up with L/N? Didn’t you just see her last weekend?”
“Is L/N that girl Soul’s friends with? I saw her advertising a brand at a department store the other day.” Intak overhears, pitching into the conversation. “Yeah, that’s her.”
“What’s wrong? Did she insult you or something?”
The more Soul tries to think about it with the words in his head, his heart beats faster and faster that he brings his hand to his chest, feeling the rapid, strong pulse against his palm. How did you manage to make him feel like this? Like he was speechless?
Keeho seemed to notice something, because he moved Soul’s hand and put his own on his chest, feeling how fast it was beating and how powerful it was. “Your face is all red. Are you having a fever?” Intak asks, totally opposite to what Keeho is thinking.
“Oh my god.” He starts, acting overdramatic. “You like her.” When Keeho says it, it makes Soul cringe, and he hates that he came to the same conclusion. “Soul likes who?” Intak is still clueless about the whole situation, probably tired out from practice that day.
“L/N, you idiot, get your head out of the clouds.”
“I like her. A lot.”
“You like her as more than a friend?” Keeho clarifies, Soul nodding. He can see the conflict in his leader’s eyes, a sense of understanding yet a tinge of guilt. “I know we can’t… date. I really want to. She’s the first person who’s ever understood me… ever since I got here.”
His leader sighs. “I think you should tell her. But… be careful. You’re putting a lot of things at risk here.”
“I know I am.”
“Soul’s a pretty quiet person. He should be okay. I mean, as long as none of us ramble about it, we should be fine.” Keeho nods along, his face content. On the inside however, he knows damn well all of them ramble way too much.
And they could ramble about you and Soul.
“Should I text her?”
“Tell her in person. If you really like her, and you really do mean it, you need to tell her the next time you two meet up.”
“But what if I can’t say it?” Keeho is well aware of Soul’s problem with freezing up when talking to others, yet this was something bound to happen, even with you. “She’s patient. She’ll wait as long as she needs to for you to say it. You’ll be okay, Soul. I’m pretty sure she likes you back.”
“She does?”
Keeho scoffs. “Have you seen the way she is around you? Sometimes she stutters over her words when you’re around, she’s always waiting for you, she lets you take her food… there’s a whole list that goes on for a while.”
Soul’s gut feeling was right. He did have a crush on you. A really big one that would only grow if he didn’t do something about it quick.
━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━
He arranged to hang out with you the following week. His heart would not stop beating as if it was about to soar right out of his chest. He swore that if you put your thumb on the right spot on his wrist, you’d feel how nervous he was getting as time passed, and he did not want that happening soon enough.
You noticed something else. He seemed a lot more tense, spaced out, and hesitant. To be honest, you were almost the same. You hesitated to hold his hand like you usually did when you walked with him, worried someone would recognize either of you and see what was happening.
Anything simple you’d over-romanticize. He’d block you from the wind. He’d freak out and any display of you and take a picture of it, smiling as he checked them one last time for any retakes. How he’d play with your hand when you two sat together. When you’d share your food.
Everything you did normally was now something you saw as something beyond your friendship. You wanted it to be that way, you really did, but knowing Soul, as clueless as he is, he probably didn’t mean anything at all behind his actions. Everything has just been so normalized between the two of you.
Your heart raced as fast as his. One could say that if you compared both of your pulses, they would sync up, or be extremely close in heart rate. His face had the slightest tinge of pink that you noticed under certain lighting— you didn’t get to look at it long since he didn’t want to call you out for staring.
“I really like your hair colors. They’ve all looked really good on you.” You say, Soul surprised at the sudden compliment. “I’ve only dyed it once or twice…”
“And it looks good. Even your hairstyles! The braids are so cute! If it gets long enough, I should give you pigtails.”
“Long enough that hopefully I don’t get scheduled for a haircut.”
“I’d cry, honestly.”
Shota stops in his tracks in front of your place, the sudden tug on your hand holding you back. “I need to tell you something. It’s been… stuck in my head for a while.” He admits, kicking away a stone at his feet. “What is it?” The look you give him almost makes him back out, but he knew keeping it in for longer would only eat at him. And it wouldn’t be a while until he’d see you again.
“Um, I–“
“Soul!”
Shota turns around at the sound of the voice, Keeho standing at a distance and waving at him. He turns back to face you, taking a deep breath.
“L/N…”
“I like you.”
He notices the shock in your expression, your eyes widening slightly and jaw slightly hanging open.
“I like you a lot.” He continues.
Shota doesn’t know what to make of your blank stare at him, since you do so for longer than you should’ve. “I-I know it’s hard for us to do any relationship related stuff because of our careers. Um, I get if you’re worried about all of this and dating in general but…”
“Shota.” You cut him off, his eyes landing on you. You take both of his hands, thumbs brushing over the metal of his rings. “I want to go out with you.” You say so forwardly that he almost becomes the shocked one. “I really like you. I really do. I… I don’t want your career to be ruined because of me. You worked your ass off for this and God knows how much we’ve been separated because of it.”
You squeeze his hands, looking at how they intertwine. Shota speaks up. “Is it crazy that I like you so much?”
“How much?”
“That I feel like you’re the only one who’ll ever understand me? That you’re the only one I’ve ever had actual genuine feelings for? Am I too young to be thinking about these kinds of things?”
“I ask myself the same questions. Every. Single. Day.”
He giggles, feeling your head lean against him. You look up, chin resting against him with a light in your eyes he hadn’t seen before. “I don’t think you’re crazy. I think we’re two teenagers stupidly in love.”
“Soul, hurry up!” Keeho calls.
You can practically hear him roll his eyes the way he scoffs, making you giggle. “Go out with me.” He asks, more of a statement than a request. His chin rested atop your head, his hand rubbing your back with reassurance. “M’kay.” You agree with a smile, voice muffled.
“We’ll keep it a secret.”
“Even from the guys?”
“I’ll do my best.”
“Your dad is calling you.” He laughs at your joke, noticing you lost in thought. You pull away a bit, looking at the ground for a moment. In one swift movement, you tiptoe and peck his cheek. “Bye!” You briefly bid, briskly walking away. Shota raises his hand to where you kissed him, almost forgetting in his moment of bliss that Keeho had already called him twice.
The walk back is mostly in silence, Soul doing his best to stop his giddy little smile on his face from growing any more. Keeho didn’t look back at him once.
The sun is fully set by the time they arrive back at the dorms, Keeho entering with an extravagant greeting. “We’re baaack!” He gleefully exclaims. Shuffling can be heard from a distance as the boys begin to take off their shoes. “Soul, how was the–“ Theo starts, being cut off after seeing something on Soul’s face.
When he gets up from kneeling down, Theo notices a light pink mark on Soul’s face, and it for sure was not his blush. “You– She–“
“What’s happening–“ Jiung is equally as shocked as Soul walks into the main space. “Oh my god.” He mutters, hand going to cover his dropped jaw. “She kissed you!” Theo exclaims. Keeho immediately comes running over, grasping Soul’s face and turning it to find the mark. He gasped louder than he should’ve when he found it.
“Just on the cheek.” Soul felt like he had to specify, but the three boys continued to jump around and freak out over the mark. “Cute! Ugh– we need to meet her sometime!” Jiung gushes.
“She just kissed me today and you guys already want to meet her in person?”
They all nod.
“I think you guys would scare her. It’s a bit cramped in here… and we aren’t even allowed to have girls here.”
“Maybe we’ll run into her during a photoshoot! She’s getting pretty famous nowadays.” Jiung adds. “I’ve already met her so many times, just saying. She’s cool.” Keeho bragged before walking into his room.
Intak enters the living space, wondering why Theo and Jiung are crowded around Soul. Keeho goes back out to join them with his empty bottle of water, originally with the task of refilling it. Soul feels a buzz in his pocket, taking it out to see your name on his phone screen.
“She’s calling you!” Jiung gasps, Theo shushing him right after. Soul swipes right to accept the call. “Put her on speaker!” Intak whisper yells, Soul holding out his phone for his group members to huddle around it.
Jongseob comes out of his room, joining the boys even though he had no idea what exactly was going on. “Hello?” Soul greets. “Hi Shota!”
“I thought we just saw each other 20 minutes ago. Do you miss me already?” He jokes, attempting not to stutter over his words. “Oh, we’re speaking in Korean now! I see how it is.” He can hear your sarcasm over the phone, a smile growing on his lips. “What’s up? Did you forget something?”
“My parents kinda caught us outside. When I…”
“Oh. Right.”
“They want you to come over.”
“So soon?” Intak says a little too loud.
“Who was that?”
“No one– just a show in the background.”
“Oh. Well, you’ve met them before. On calls and stuff, they know who you are. You know them, right?”
“Yeah.”
“Because they saw… us… they want to meet you. I told them about how busy you were and your schedule and that it wouldn’t be for a while until you were free again–“
“Y/N.” He cuts you off for a second. “I’ll let you know when I’m free.”
“Really?”
“I want them to know I’m a good person. That I am doing my best for you.” His groupmates gush audibly, and it definitely picks up on the microphone. “You’re going to make me miss you a whole lot more if you keep talking like that.” Soul chuckles. “They’re listening, aren’t they?”
“What?”
“Your group. That did not sound like a TV show in the background.”
They all look at each other, surprised. “Um… maybe?”
“Agh– they heard all of that?! So embarrassing…”
“They wanna meet you too. My group.”
“I thought girls weren’t allowed in your dorms.”
“Outside of the dorms. Possibly in a work environment?”
“That could work! I’m already looking forward to it.”
“They’re all weird.” Soul feels everyone’s eyes on him. “A bit. Just saying.” He hears you giggle on the other end.
“Shota?”
“Mhm?”
“I love you.”
It goes dead silent for a moment, before all the boys erupt into loud cheering and hollering, Soul having to cover his ear to hear you. “Is it too soon for me to say that?” You ask.
“Did you mean it?” He answers with another question, silence on your end for a second.
“I did.”
“Then no. If anything, I think you’re 3 years too late.”
“Have you been waiting that long for me to say it?”
“Mmm, maybe just half a year.”
“Figured.”
“Y/N?” He switches back to Japanese.
“Yes?”
“I love you too.”
Though in another language, the boys can understand the small phrase, their montage of cheers going on for longer than it should have.
━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━
As both of you had begun to become more globally renowned, so did your relationship with each other. At first, it was viewed as the two of you being very close friends. After certain interactions and nitpickings, people began to question the nature and status of your relationship.
People noticed the ring on your finger and how it looked exactly like the ones on Soul’s. When the string to tighten his bracelet was visible from under his sleeves, some made connections to learn that it looked like yours. Neither of you took it off, even during work events.
If it couldn’t be on your wrist, you managed to use your bracelet as an anklet. It was more subtle, but you ended up having to send pictures to Shota to show proof you kept it on.
Strings were pulled. Your company met with his, and despite their strict dating laws and restrictions, they managed to work around them. You just hoped they weren’t bribed in any way.
You did end up visiting their dorm a few times after the workarounds, and Shota was always there at the door to be the first person to greet you. His physical touch became more than just holding your hand. He clung onto you; he loved hugs, he loved hugging you.
You loved his hair, playing with it and tying it up into different hairstyles. Pigtails, braids, the occasional half up ponytail. You were always fascinated at the fact every single colour looked so good on him.
The rest of the boys had to get used to your presence. Given you didn’t visit often since Soul would rather visit you, sometimes the sight of you seated with Soul on their couch was a shocker to them. Keeho got used to it the quickest.
From your perspective, you were overall cautious but at the same time didn’t care if any news of the two of you happened to get out. It would be shocking from one end, but it would follow with claims saying that it was bound to happen sometime. Considering how young you were, sometimes you had your doubts. Most of the time you forgot about those doubts.
As for someone like Shota, with his growing popularity and presence in the K-pop industry, he was worried one little leak would cause him to get kicked out of his company. Until paparazzi footage of the two of you, his hands wrapped around your waist to meet in the front as you waited at a bus stop, was posted on a website.
You both panicked. You apologized, he apologized; it was a lot of back and forth. All that came from netizens was the mutual discussion of the chance that you two might be in a relationship. The girl on billboards across Korea going out with a rising star in K-pop? Both of them soon to be international? It was unexpected.
The public was pleasantly surprised. It was a match they hadn’t expected, so much so they decided to try and guess how you two met and how your relationship started. Though you never went deeper than cute photos and interactions that just had to happen in the public eye.
Soul was asked the question a few times.
“Is Y/N a close friend of yours?”
“What’s your relationship with the model?”
The members would either glare at the interviewer or look at Soul worried. He’d always respond with:
“She’s my girlfriend.”
Which pretty much revealed the terms you two were on to every person on the internet.
The boys always took pictures and videos of the two of you as well, if you were ever to end up working together somehow. If you came to the dorm, or if they ran into you two in public. You’re certain Intak and Theo have way too many photos of him falling asleep on you or vice versa.
Soul scrolls on his phone, noticing a few posts of the two of you as he goes deeper down the rabbit hole. As he goes to rewatch his dance practice of the day, he gets a text from you.
Shota
Haku
Haku Shota
Hi (╹◡╹)
Um
I know this is gonna sound like really stupid and crazy and weird
What is it?
Is it okay if I stay at your dorm tonight
Soul looks up from his phone and the condition his shared room is in. It’s decently clean, at least his area is. Theo and Jongseob’s area is debatable.
It’s okay if not! I was just wondering
You can
Just let me ask the guys first
It’s really messy in here
He puts in his phone in his pocket before he’s able to check your next text, reluctantly getting out of bed to go and ask. He opens the door, at first sticking his head out, but then fully shuffling through the door.
“Hey Soul. I thought you were sleeping?” Keeho says, going to sit on the couch. “I need to ask you guys something.”
“What is it?” Intak adds.
“Y/N wants to come over.”
“This late?” Sometimes it surprises him how dense Intak could be sometimes. “She wants to stay over. Sleep.”
The boys all look up and around at the area, noticing the slight mess. Despite you seeing the area in such conditions most of the time when you came over, they suddenly felt obligated to do something rather than have you sleep in an environment with said mess.
“We’ll clean up. Tell her we said yes. Is everything okay?” Keeho said, getting up from the couch.
“We?”
“Get up, Jiung, and let the girl feel welcome.”
“Should I help?”
“Maybe clean our room.” Theo pats Soul on the shoulder, letting him walk back into said room.
Shota???
Are you there?
Pls respond
Sorry
I asked they said yes
I’m already on my way
We’ll talk more when I get there
I’ll text you
He can hear shuffling and commanding outside his room as he tosses the dirty laundry into their basket in the corner of the room, fixing his nightstand and somewhat making his bed since he was gonna lie down in it immediately afterwards.
By the time he gets a text, the room is mostly clean and tidy, prompting him to go and open the door for you. Your eyes meet with his, though they look dull and tired, more than they would be after a day of shoots.
“Hey.” You hide your gaze with the top of your hood. “Hi. Are you okay?”
“Let’s talk about it in your room. Is this a bad time?”
“Not at all. Come in.”
You nearly stumble over your own feet going to take your shoes off, Soul noticing there’s something more going on and it’s not just that you’re exhausted.
Not wanting to be rude, you briefly greet the rest of the boys before swiftly going into Soul’s shared room, Jongseob lying on his bed on his phone and simply acknowledging you when you enter the room, dropping your bag on the floor and plopping yourself on Soul’s bed. He sits next to you, your face covered by your hood.
He gently takes it off in case you’d stop him at the motion, seeing those dull eyes of yours, a bit pink and swollen. “What’s wrong? Is everything alright?” He softly asks, holding your hands in the same manner as his voice. “I’m having a few problems at home. Nothing with my parents. Extended family.”
“What happened?”
“My parents are having some maintenance and small renovations done on our house, so we’re staying in an extra room at my grandma’s for a little bit. My aunt lives in the other room.”
You inhale, trying to grasp onto your words.
“Um, my aunt is being,” you start, “being a real bitch. I know I can’t say that and it’s rude to even think so but God knows everyone in that room was pissed at her. She insulted my mom and her decision to move here and put me through modelling at such a young age.”
“She called me a wannabe, and that I wasn’t gonna get anywhere in life just posing for the camera. Called me a slut for allowing to be in shoots where I show a lot of skin when really it’s usually just a tank top and a skirt.”
“She said she felt bad for whoever I was dating that they had to be with a girl who loves showing herself off to the general public. Said I was practically naked if I showed too much skin.”
“So I don’t feel safe or comfortable in that house right now, and my parents were nice enough to let me stay someplace else. They agreed when I told them about you.”
Soul sat there, a silent rage burning through his veins. You had a completely valid reason to address her with such vulgarity. He couldn’t offer any advice in the moment, all that he could do was hug you.
“No wonder she still lives with your grandma.” He mutters into your shoulder, your hand hitting his back hard as you chuckle. “You can’t say that, Shota!”
“Who’s stopping me? I know you want to say it too.”
“Shota…”
“Fine. Only because you don’t want me to. Still, I’m sorry you had to go through all that. Stay as long as you need to.” Soul’s eyes meet with Jongseob’s, their stares translating into sentences.
‘As long as she needs to?’
‘Just let her. Please.’
‘Don’t ask me, ask Keeho.’
Shota rolls his eyes at his roommate, attention back on you. “I’m gonna go change now.” You say, pulling away. “Where are you gonna sleep?”
“Um, I was thinking we could share your bed. But I can always take the couch if you don’t want to–“
“Share. Yeah– yeah, we can share.”
You smile, kissing his forehead before you leave the room. Jongseob’s eyes are on Soul the minute the door shuts. “What did she say?” He meant to ask: ‘What did she say to make her kiss you in front of me?’
“She wants to share my bed.”
“You look really nervous.”
“I’m not nervous, just surprised. And I’ve… obviously never shared it before.”
“Just sleep normally, Soul. What’s so hard about that?”
“Do I snore?”
“You don’t. Theo does. Maybe get her some earplugs.”
“I don’t have any.” His roommate shrugs his shoulders.
“Jongseob…”
“Fine.” He tosses Soul a clean, unopened pair of foam earplugs. “Are you actually that nervous?”
Soul’s ashamed to admit it. “We’re close, but we haven’t been this close before. Not at all. I have no idea if I kick in my sleep– what if I kick her?”
“You kick like once or twice but not every other second. Besides, if L/N says she’s in love with you, she’s gotta be in love with everything about you. Including your sleeping habits. She’d love you regardless of what you do in your sleep.”
You come back in sweats and a loose shirt, going to lay on the bed while Shota sat on the edge. You place your hand on top of his, prompting him to turn around and look at you. “Are you that tired?”
“Korean all of a sudden?”
“I’m getting better, aren’t I?”
“By the day, Shota.”
“To answer your question, since I was crying for 10 minutes at home, yes, I’m tired. Are you gonna just gonna sit there or are you gonna get some rest?” Soul simply responds moving you over on the bed so he can sleep on the side closest to the wall. You turn to face him, all flushed and doe eyed. “Am I too close?” Your head rests against his chest and atop his arm, probably the definition of close.
“No.”
“I can always move if–“
“Just stay here. You’ve had a rough day.”
His other arm wraps around you, his hand on your back and pushing you closer to him. “Do you think we’re too young to be this in love?” You feel his head move. “What do you mean?”
“That we aren’t old enough to make bigger decisions for ourselves? This… this is a big thing. People say that we’re really young to already be dating, and I always shrug it off, but it’s bothering me. What if they’re right?”
“Are you doubting us?”
“I’m not, I’m really not! People are just overlooking what’s going on between us and they’re making assumptions and–“
“This relationship is only between us and no one else. We don’t need to worry about what others think. We only need to worry about each other.”
“You’re getting good at switching languages smoothly.” You say, trying to sneak a bit of humor in there. “I learn from the best.” His hand once on your back now moved to your head, stroking it smoothly. “I’m really grateful for you, actually. I hope you know that.” His words melt your heart as they always do, but somehow you find them more meaningful.
“When you first helped me here. When you offered to keep in touch and look where that brought us. When you don’t get bothered every time I ask you how to say something in Korean. And you still like being with me even though sometimes I can be a bit…”
“Bothersome?”
“I was thinking annoying, but what you said sounds nicer.”
“Shota, I never thought of you as annoying. You’re teaching yourself with the help of your group getting around and the culture and its differences.”
“How did you get used to it so quickly?”
“I didn’t. I’ve been here so many times to visit but living here? Oh, it was a culture shock to me.”
“So I’m really not alone in this?”
“You were never alone, Haku.”
You called him by his first name.
Your eyes meet at your mention of it, Shota looking at you with such a pure, joy filled gaze that was silent behind his irises. It was moments like this where you got to admire his beauty, how pretty he was, his features and how they worked so well together.
You’re drawn to him. So much so that you end up giving him a soft, gentle kiss on the lips.
As much as it was a moment of euphoria, the moment you pulled away, you immediately got flustered and embarrassed, turning around since you weren’t able to face him. “I’m so sorry, I shouldn’t have–“ And seeing Jongseob on the other bed? He heard a lot and probably saw a lot which made the whole thing more embarrassing for you.
You kick your feet slightly, hiding your face in your hands and just then feeling how hot your it was in the moment. Suddenly, you feel his arms wrap around your waist like they did in the photos of you two at that bus stop, bringing you closer into him. “I liked it. It was my first.” He mutters, voice slightly muffled.
“It was my first too.” You reply, hands off your face and turning around to bury it in his shoulder, still embarrassed to face him. You wrap an arm around him as to hug him loosely. “I love you, Haku.” You raise your head to bump your nose against his. He giggles, hugging you tighter.
“I love you more, Y/N.”
“Even more than your games?”
“More than my games and my rings. Get some rest now.”
You want to kiss him again in that moment, but he does it for you. Short and chaste, your lips meet long enough to feel each other’s connection, but short enough that it doesn’t escalate.
“At this point, can you two just sleep already? I’d rather you hug and spoon than hear you kiss all evening.” Jongseob sneers, almost forgetting he was even in the room. Soul feels you giggle into his shoulder, having you so close being the least of his worries. In fact, it was something he cherished.
Soul never let you out of his hold, and you never let him out of his.
━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━
☀️: guys look at this
☀️: [Two images attached]
🐿️: OMG
🐿️: THEY’RE SO CUTE
🐿️: THEY’RE LIKE CUDDLING AIDHSIDNW
🐿️: IM SAVING THESE THANK YOU VERY MUCH
🐺: theo why are you taking pictures of them while they’re sleeping 🤨
🐺: that’s a little bit weird
☀️: ok but they’re cute
☀️: you’d do it too
🐺: tbh i would
🐯: they kissed
🐺: HUHH???
🐿️: SJAODJEBDIEBDK
🐶: wait actually
🐿️: where did you come from
🐶: i was disinterested until i saw jongseob’s text
🐺: are we talking like a kiss on the cheek or forehead cuz they do that a lot
🐯: lips
🐿️: OH MY GOD WHAT
🐺: WAIT ACTUALLY
🐺: SOUL GOT HIS FIRST KISS
🐶: keeho u probably havent kissed anyone why r u talking
🐺: shut up
☀️: yeah i walked in on them
🐯: they didnt make out or anything tho i think they’re both disgusted by the idea of it
🐺: thank god
🐶: you actually thought they were gonna make out or something just from the word ‘kiss’??
🐺: hey you can never be too careful
🐿️: i understood half of what they were saying until they switched back to japanese ugh i could hear them through the wall
🐯: are the walls actually that thin
🐿️: i hear you scream at your phone every time u watch something scary
🐯: okay anyways they were probably flirting with each other
🐯: i was literally there the whole time
🍟: (*^◯^*)
🐶: oh shit
🐺: morning soul!!
🐿️: why aren’t you just talking to each other instead of texting in the group chat you literally share a room
🍟: y/n is sleeping (( _ _ ))..zzzZZ
☀️: she actually is do u guys want proof
🐺: stop taking pictures of people in their sleep theo ur weird for that
🍟: [One image attached]
☀️: and when soul does it ur not gonna say anything
🐺: soul dont do that but yall r cute okay
☀️: this is so unfair
🐯: i have a picture of him taking that picture
🐺: what
🐶: this is so confusing
🐯: [One image attached]
🐿️: trippy @—@
🐺: soul how is she not waking up while you’re texting us
🍟: ¯\_(ツ)_/¯
🍟: she is so pretty (//∇//)
🐿️: UGH EILFIWRNOAN
🐶: you are so down bad its crazy
🐺: jiung is literally squealing into his pillow rn
🐯: yeah we can hear
☀️: fr tho u guys r cute
🐶: soul pulls
🍟: (・・?)
🐺: it’s okay soul you’ll figure out what that means eventually
☀️: just tell him what’s stopping you
🐺: he spends a lot of time on the internet he’ll see it one way or another
🍟: jongseob i never gave her the earplugs u can have them back
🐶: is it cuz theo snores cuz honestly thats understandable
☀️: i do not snore that loud okay
🐯: my bed is right next to yours so that makes it 10 times louder
🐯: also just leave them on the nightstand soul ill take them back thanks
🐺: is someone gonna get up or are we just gonna keep texting here
☀️: soul would but he’s too busy holding his gf rn
🐯: do u guys want more photos
🐿️: yes
🐺: jongseob and theo you two need to stop taking pictures of y/n while she’s sleeping she’s gonna think you guys are creepy
☀️: you never said no
🐺: and i never said yes
🐯: soul is shielding her face in some of them tho at least its covered
🐿️: just send them
🍟: you can send them jongseob (^^)
🐯: see even soul says we can
🍟: wanna show how pretty y/n is
🐿️: oh my god you guys are so dsibwsidhsi
🐺: jiung is freaking out
🐶: soul i think u killed him
☀️: breaking up at this point would just end the world
☀️: treat her well soul
🐶: yeah you’ve got a good one
🍟: im too in love to let go (*´∀`*)
━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━
and i am but a man, orbiting ‘round your sun. and it’s you that makes my day, after day. 🎧
623 notes · View notes
emmyrosee · 1 year ago
Note
I legit just came across this reel on insta and thought of your dad!atsumu AU. Like imagine Atsumu posting this and being like “yes I am a man of the women” … just to have his old teamates clown him in the chat with the “you basically copy pasted what Kita san scolded you with”. The chaotic lighthearted arguments that ensue are poetic cinema. 😩🤌🏽 and imagine uncle! Osamu adding to the mix by showing up the next day ready to “party with his niece” first thing in the morning and catch dad!Atsumu slacking in 4k:absolutely knocked out on reader’s chest, drool and all. Morning routine who?
(That being said I do think this reel needs to become the norm and I’m HC all the HQ people can and will be good partners + parents)
BROOOO NEVER LET TSUMU LIVE IN PEACE😮‍💨🩷
Like he makes this super sweet, heartfelt video about how much he appreciates you carrying his baby and holding the fort while he’s gone, and the least he can do all the other mornings, is let you sleep while he gets Hisako ready for the day.
It's filled with laughter and toys and coffee and princess crowns falling into little fruit cubes, and just absolutely everything going smoothly for the camera.
And his fans go buckwild. They love dad!Tsumu posts as much as we do, and they’re in the comments worshipping him and his teachings and just being the absolute best dad ever.
…but that doesn’t last. Because not two hours later does the clownery start. Because he doesn’t deserve peace.
onigirimiya11 bruh ur such a liar. if you’re going to copy like you did in school, at least change the words smh
suna.ejp.rintaro LMAOOO NOT HIM SAYING HE LIKES HIS WIFE WHADDA SIMP-
aranojiro_ you forgot the part where Kita swats you with newspaper. at least be consistent if youre going to steal his gospel
miyasan7137 @/onigirimiya11 @/suna.ejp.rintaro @/aranojiro_ YALL FAKE AS HELL, LEAVE ME ALONE ITS GOOD ADVICE
kshinsuke1 atsumu, im thrilled you are listening to me. tell hisako i said good morning- use those exact words, of course, as youve done here
miyasan7137 @/kshinsuke1 kitasan please im sorry
ksakusaiyoomi no one likes you, Miya
It seems like nothing could be better, let alone feed the hungry dad!atsumu fans, until a few hours later, when Osamu posts a quick "@/miyasan7137 lol this you?" to his story:
atsumu, absolutely knocked out against the couch with his head in hisako's lap while barely in frame in the kitchen, you're cooking, giving the camera a wide smile to match the one hisako shares from behind her pacifier.
248 notes · View notes
heartsoji · 1 year ago
Text
Tumblr media
LOVE LANGUAGES
starring the bllk boys!
featuring kunigami rensuke, chigiri hyoma, and bachira meguru
a/n: sigh some easy headcanons bc i simply cannot write anymore
Tumblr media
KUNIGAMI RENSUKE
acts of service!
pls acts of service just screams him
hes your hero, after all! hes at your service
you're hungry? here, have some of his food!
on your period? chocolate and midol for you!
cant go to sleep? he has a bottle of melatonin and huge, snuggly arms
he will literally do anything you ask
he's def an 'actions speak louder than words' typa guy so he feels that when he does something for you, its proof of his love
ALSO something that i was thinking ab was yk how kunigami is ripped
if ur feet were tired, he'd carry you on his back with ease
'are you sure im not too heavy?' *looks back at you with disappointment and betrayal* 'hell no."
hes a sweetie
Tumblr media
CHIGIRI HYOMA
words of affirmation!
hes a rizzler, ok
he says cheesey things with the same composure he'd have if he was taking a nice stroll in the park
"the stars, the sun, the moon. they're supposed to shine bright, but they pale in comparison to you" with a calm, soothing smile
also CHIGIRIS VOICE
ITS SO HOT
HE HAS THIS LIKE SILKY SMOOTH, SUPER PRETTY, FLOWY, SOOTHING, SEXY VOICE OK
AND HE JUST LIKE SAYS THESE SUPER ROMANTIC THINGS WITH THIS SUPER HOT VOICE AND ITS JUST &lt;3
ok sorry
he also provides really good comfort!
if you're crying from a rough day, he's there with you, rubbing your back, whispering sweet things into your ear
"it's ok, love. i know it feels like the end of the world now, but it was etc etc" WITH HIS SILKY SMOOTH VOICE UGH
HES SO PERFECT
AND GOING BACK TO HIS RIZZ
HE LIKE
DOES THIS
THING
I
AKJASJKSD
ok i hc that after he gives you those cheesy poetic compliments, he makes you look him in the eyes and just lets you melt into putty in his arms
hes just so
yes
(can u tell i love chigiri)
Tumblr media
BACHIRA MEGURU
quality time + physical touch!
he love love loves spending time w/ you
he plans the most fun dates ever and he always makes sure you have a great time
picnic dates, arcade dates, amusement park dates, you get it
hes just so thoughtful and his laughter is literally contagious
hes one of the guys who will be happy just by being with you (and his happiness is contagious so youre happy too)
also hes super touchy
big fan of back hugs. you'll be standing there when you suddenly feel him ram into you, arms circling around your waist
a big cuddler also
i could def see him being either a little or big spoon tbh
he just loves being close to you
sometimes you'l be laying in bed when you hear a "YAHOOO" (like mario) and suddenly hes ramming down on top of you as you let out a loud, "OW"
he has the tightest hugs ever
just grabs you and squeezes you and spins you around
also loves dancing with you
he'll put on some fun music and he just spins you around and laughs and has fun
pls hes so cute i love him
Tumblr media
heartsoji 𑁍 please do not steal, plagiarize, or repost onto any platform. thank you!
262 notes · View notes
rataccatak · 1 year ago
Text
major grom/plague doctor pages that made me feel big emotions (pt 2.5/3)
yall im SO sorry for the long wait. It's been a year since I've sat down and did some Thinking bout this comic but my love for this franchise is immune to hiatus. I was orig gonna go chronologically but I wanted to post something rather than nothing so here is a panel I've wanted to scream about ever since I first read it.
"I'm not ready to lose you again" scene (Plague Doctor issue 14)
Tumblr media
We all knew this page was coming; it is so fucking good. Surprisingly though, it's not the final hug that gets me as much as THIS PRELIMINARY SCENE RIGHT HERE.
Despite Sergey's queercoded flirtatious presence, he doesn't really show much physical affection towards anyone (at least, not in a vulnerable & genuine way) WHICH IS WHY I WENT APESHIT WHEN I SAW THIS. It shows a level of vulnerability that Sergey doesn't ever truly share with anyone because of course, it's reserved for Oleg and OF COURSE it has to come after he tells Oleg to SHOOT HIM if he ever comes close to putting his life at risk. It is SUCH a great moment in Sergey's development--not just the rearranging of his priorities (shifting from his plague doctor mission to Oleg), but his willingness to relinquish control to Oleg. He doesn't say "let me die" or "run away" or even just "stop me," motherfucker says SHOOT ME. It's, of course, a parallel to Sergey's attempted murder of Oleg in The Game, only now Sergey is willing to put himself in the same position as Oleg WITH the motivations REVERSED so that he intends to SAVE Oleg by letting himself get shot. Like. Poetic cinema. What the actual fuck.
Also, "your faith is the only thing saving me" is the most beautiful thing I think I've heard in my entire life. It's easy to think of Sergey as this laidback and callous terrorist who doesn't really interact with the human tragedies of his actions, and to an extent, this is true (he is VERY MUCH an "ends justify the means" kinda guy). But I think his remorseless attitude doesn't stem from an inability to grasp how truly awful he is, but rather, from a hyperawareness of the human cost of his actions that eventually just pushes him to ACCEPT his own irredeemability. Kinda like "I'm already past the point of redemption, so why stop now?" way of thinking. This line confirms it for me. It communicates the absolute DEPRAVITY Sergey assumes of himself, his belief in his own irredeemability, and the acknowledgement that Oleg's trust in his goodness is the only thing stopping him from losing himself to that impulse. Oleg is Sergey's heart and moral center. He redeems and humanizes him when the world and Sergey himself is unable to (exhibit A and B below).
Tumblr media Tumblr media
And it is so incredibly tragic. That shot of Oleg reciprocating the hug is pervaded with such desperate and futile but UNKILLABLE hope, like he's trying to physically cling to the person Sergey used to be (or more accurately, who he thinks he is). There's even a role reversal here; now Sergey is the pragmatist, and Oleg is the naive idealist, unable to come to terms with the limitations of his own control. And that sort of deliberate ignorance only further hastens the inevitable, and it is so tragic, this scene. Another reference to The Game with the power dynamics between Sergey and Oleg reversed: once again, Oleg puts blind faith in Sergey. But this time, it may cost him SERGEY'S life, not his. And to an extent, Sergey also put his blind faith in Oleg as well; when the chips are down, he trusts Oleg to shoot him before he can kill him again. Whether their trust in eachother is enough to save them this time... that question is left uncomfortably open.
124 notes · View notes
bucketspammer4life · 1 year ago
Text
☆ how the boxers react to being flirted with ☆
Sorry for dissapearing (again), i was busy damaging my hearing, enjoy my woobification teehee
Glass Joe
- Really depends on how you flirt with him, if its poetic or really straightforward hes gonna turn into a tomato
- hes not giggling, its just your imagination nuh uh
- he def rolls in bed like a rotisserie chicken while thinking about ur pick up line
- hes gonna try to flirt back until its just a competition of who blushes the hardest
Von Kaiser
- actual jaw drop from him, the more poetic the better
- in shock, his brain literally turns off
- has to check his pulse because GODDAMN his heart is beating harder than usual (You may have a heart palpitation, kaiser)
- you live rent free in his head now congratulations
Disco Kid
- right back at you, if youre a bit too straightforward he may need to tell you to slow down
- youre getting a response IMMEDIATLY. And i mean it, fresh out of the oven, thrown at you with some sprinkles on top
- giggling while he calls you cute names like sweetie, honey, baby etc etc
King Hippo
- nice try, HES AROACE!! (GET HEADCANONED IDIOT!!)
- he laughs it off while making it clear hes not into you or anyone
- flattered though, appreciates the fact that you were willing to go out of your way to approach him
- if he was not aroace or only ace, he'd just smile, the more poetic you go with him the better you have chance of making him go red
Piston Hondo
- hes suddenly cosplaying a cherry
- loves poetic rizz, will definitely go back at you until both of your flirting attempts sound like two lovers mailing each other in opposite sides of the world while one is at war
- if youre straightforward he just gets flabbergasted, like what do you mean there isnt a build up for it with 20 poems inbetween??
- cant focus rest of the day, hes internally screaming off a mountain
- the sight of you just makes his ability to focus evaporate
- draws and/or writes about you rest of the day
Great Tiger
- if you use something clever you can get a small blush out of him
- if you're the type to go for poetic lines youre gonna need to call 911 because his soul literally vanishes from existence, tiger dont go into the light stay with us PLEASE
- has to have his clones give him flirting advice because his flirting skills are not there (like 80% of my hearing)
- his flirting attempts are just "damn, are you a construction worker?, because you are a building." no matter how much he tries
Bear Hugger
- he makes his reactions clear, literally emotes while you flirt with him
- if youre poetic or straightforward he literally just says "woah"
- he just turns into that one cartoon wolf im not kidding, literal "ohh mama hubba hubba" from this man
- his flirting style is very straightforward, not "hey babygirl" type but "youre so pretty i would leave all my belongings and change my identity if it ment i could hold your hand" type, do you understand??
Don Flamenco
- replies 1.2 seconds after you, he needs to have the last word here (or last rizz in this case)
- literal mirror, the more more straightforward & atrocious your lines are the more straightforward his are going to be until it devolves into both of you sounding down bad, when they go low, he goes lowER
- poetic lines makes him have a heart attack
- its actually possible to fluster him
- unironically says babygirl to anyone hes flirting with when approaching, it doesnt matter how tall, strong or flirty you are, your gender doesnt matter, he can and will call you babygirl, its a gender neutral term for him, corners you while doing it
Aran Ryan
- evil cackling, if you put a organ over his laugh you suddenly get a scooby doo villain, he sounds less like hes flustered and more like hes about to detonate a nuclear bomb
- unhinged lines, ends up getting restraining orders thrown at him
- brings things he finds cool to flirt, ranging from flowers to rocks (he was a evil crow in a past life trust me his left eyebrow told me)
- cartwheels away
Soda Popinski
- maniacal giggling, even if its not THAT good & ridiculously straightforward
- his pick up lines unintentionally sound like god tier shitposts & end up working somehow
- corners you (in the romantic way) if you're really direct
- has the silliest giggle when flustered, literal "hehe" coming from this man that could snap you in half if he wanted to
Bald Bull
- you think the others are bad at handling flirting?? Then you havent seen bald bull because OH MY GOD HES ABOUT TO LITERALLY FLY OFF THE EARTH
- hes actually fairly difficult to fluster but once you find his weak spot hes gone from there
- cannot flirt back, blurts something dumb out like "sorry im all red pretty people make me nauseous"
- he literally goes (> - <) when blushing & covers his face with his hands
- the more direct you are the closer he gets to passing out
- stutters a lot (omg y/n is that you)
- Bull, this is bottom behavior
- people use the most unhinged pick up lines on him, someone once told him "let me milk you."
- his hands automatically go 👉👈 if hes too flustered
Super Macho Man
- Stop boosting his ego please, he may be flustered but youre kinda enabling him
- dumbest pick up lines
- also another unironic "hey babygirl" user
- if he doesnt know what to do he just throws money & valuables, 5000 dollars be upon ye
Mr Sandman
- oh my god he has the sweetest smile ever (if you dont go too straightforward), he doesnt blush a whole lot but he just chuckles a bit
- if youre direct, his jaw also drops like huh??
- his weak spots are poems & small gifts
- a little bit dense but once he gets it he smiles like crazy
- giggling kicking his feet whenever he remembers that
70 notes · View notes
toecrust69 · 2 years ago
Note
I love the Batsis that’s obsessed with cat woman, can we see how she Interacts with Selina in person?
A/N: OMG IM LITERALLY SO GLAD U ASKED. Also, sorry if this took a long time to answer!!
Oh and ur like 13 or 12 in this and Bruce and Selina are in a relationship (sorry if this was a stupid thing to metion)
Tumblr media Tumblr media Tumblr media Tumblr media Tumblr media
I feel like it definitely depends on the situation, yk?
By that I mean whether or not batsis knows about Selina being Catwoman
If she doesn't know about it, she'll definitely fangirl about it to her
Since nobody else in the manor wants to talk about it, she's your last resort
It doesn't make her uncomfortable tho, she actually finds it kinda amusing
Like
Can you imagine your boyfriends daughter fangiling about how hot, badass, cool, and iconic you are without even knowing they're fangirling over you?
She'd listen closely to every word you say, pride swelling up in her chest
"She's so cool! I'm honestly kinda jealous of Batman." She smirked and looked over her shoulder at you before responding.
"Really? How so?" She asked curiously.
"I dunno man, I think it's the fact that he gets to hang out with her everyday. If I ever see batman I'm gonna ask him for her number."
"Hang on, how old are you? And how do you know Bruce won't blow up?" You stopped chewing on your cereal for a second, thinking about what you'd say next
"First of all, Bruce should be proud of me! I just got the phone number of one of the hottest and most iconic people to ever live. If he doesn't feel proud or at the very least jealous, I don't know how he'd feel" you shrugged mindlessly
"Ok, but how old are you?"
"... old enough"
Your definitely her favorite, but she'll never admit it
About the body pillow...
She'd probably buy you more just to piss off Bruce (he had no idea you bought it)
She'd also buy you a bunch of merchandise of her
This includes shirts, shoes, pants, hats, pillows, underwear, glasses, posters, socks, etc.
Are you sad?? Don't worry, she has a catwoman mug in her purse custom made just for you :))
On the other hand, if you already know who she is, it's gonna be a bit of a mess
You'd definitely figure it out after fangirling about her for almost 6 months
You'd feel a bit embarrassed for a second before quickly recovering and going back to normal (for the most part)
To say the least, you'd constantly try to get her number or at the very least flirt with her
You know those tiktoks talking abt poetic rizz? Just imagine that if they were brought to life and now it's you
You'd follow her around the halls of the manor and batcave while reading out one of the latest poems you either read or made just for her
She ends up having to stiffle a laughe whenever your reading it to her and Bruce comes in with a huge frown on his face
He'd tell you to stop only for you to continue shortly after he leaves the room
" I would rather swim in a stormy sea than sail calm waters without yo-" you were quickly interrupted when Bruce came busting through the door with a huge frown on his face
"Stop it! She's almost 20 years older than you, leave her alone"
"Oh my bad, I'll stop" you answered dryly
"Good" He said sternly before walking out the room, leaving you and Selina alone. You turned around to look at her with a cocktail smirk, "I think he's jealous I'm trying to steal his girl and it's actually working ;)"
Yea no Bruce absolutely hates it
He doesn't like the fact that her daughter is getting more attention from his gf than him😭😭
But he knows that she'd never leave him for a 13 year old girl with amazing rizz like you, right?
... right?
Every time she comes back from a mission without you, you'd ask he about it
You'll listen intently to every word she says, making tiny comments every now and then
Once you turn 18, you'd rent an apartment and let her know so she can visit whenever she wants (yea ur still obsessed with her)
One time, you ended up not going on patrol for a whole week because you were sickand she came to visit you with chicken soup in her hands
You thanked her profusely and kept on offering her some stuff like water or food but she always declined
She was your guest after all
Am iconic one at that
She'd watch movies with you for a while before eventually forcing you to sleep
Then next day she'd invite you to go rob some jewelry stores with her, ivy, and harley
Speaking of ivy and harley
they absolutely adore you!!
Ivy never fails to notice how all the plants around you seem to lean into you when you walk past them
Your like a magnet and she seems to have gotten stuck onto you as well
I REALLY HOPE THAT MADE SENSE😭😭
Harley also can't help but notice the way her hyenas cuddle up to your legs whenever you come over to her apartment
She'd smile softly from the kitchen as she watched you play around with Bud and Lou
Oh and Selinas cats also like u
You're actually kinda fond of cats but you've never met any until one day when you can over to Selinas appartment
You'd only ever seen cats on TV or on the internet but never in real life
You were having fun playing around with her 10 cats until you began aggressively sneezing lmao
You ended up spread out on the floor, arms outstretched as the cats began surrounding you
You were still sneezing, just not as bad anymore
That was until one of the cats walked up to your face and began licking your face
You could feel a strong sneeze coming up but you didn't want to scare him away so you ended up having to hold your breath so you wouldnt sneeze
You held it in for such a long time that even Selina wondered how you were still alive
But you couldn't hold it in for too long so you ended up sneezing anyways lmao
Tumblr media
Sorry if this was kinda short, should I make a pt.2??
Oh and credits to @thesharktanksdriver , she inspired me to make this and u can tell bc I used the same layout as her. Her writing is amazing and I highly recommend you read it!!
376 notes · View notes
olivyh · 2 years ago
Note
hi,
if u are not busy with anything, can u do malleus x reader with angst to comfort?
Great work, take care of yourself
A/N: I have so many requests that I haven't gotten around to I'm sorry guys ;;;; I'm on a motivation kick so I'll start getting those out as soon as I can! ALSO IM A SUCKER FOR POETIC MALLEUS AND IT MAKES MY HEART GO BOOM bc tell me why Malleus is literally the "my love, I am intoxicated" meme
Happy chapter 7!!!
TW: Drowning, maybe suicide if you look a little closely
Malleus is constantly reminded of the day he nearly drowned in the tub as a child.
It's silly, to think that the heir to the Valley of Thorns would be destined to face death in a bathtub.
It wasn't his fault that it was silent aside from the dripping of the water that poured from the side of the tub and leaked onto the tiles the more he sunk into it. Not his fault that he was so exhausted from his daily lessons that his hands burned and cramped as he felt a knot where his neck met his back that he couldn't seem to get rid of no matter how much he fidgeted and stretched. The warm water of the bath seemed to seep deep into his bones and nestle within him, reigniting the fire that had been so thoroughly burnt out from his short time of living as the crown prince of the valley of thorns.
Malleus stared at the ceiling, listening to the muffled howling of the wind outside and trying to bite back the chill of the air that rests on the tip of his nose as a harsh contrast to the comfort of the water, heated by his servants' magic and maintained by his own. The intricate carvings of warriors and magicians alike; fae and human both dueling as sparks flew across the tapestries and danced within the stone, jewels embedded within the eyes that seemed to stare at him.
As a child, Malleus used to fear the unspoken words that lay within those gemstones. He could not decipher if they were cruel, or if they were kind. Did the human wish to speak to him or kill him?
The fae that stretched from the marble seemed even more daunting, their eyes glowed in the dim candlelight of his bathroom casting long shadows across their sharp face as they glared down at the boy who sunk deeper into the bath at their gaze. They seemed to be frowning at him rather than at the much smaller human they were dueling.
"This is your fault," He imagined them saying. "What kind of ruler are you?"
"I'm not..." Malleus would sniffle, his tears dripping into the water, masked by the dampness that cascaded from his strands and streaked down his worried face, bright, innocent green eyes filled with too much worry for a child so young as him. The weight of the world upon small shoulders, too much a weight for a child alone to bear. The sins and torment of war, the blood of human and fae alike on his small hands that had just learned to hold a pen properly. What was he not? What was he, truly? The crown prince of the valley of thorns? A Dragon fae? Among the most powerful in the world?
Was he not the ruler he was told he would be? Was he a ruler at all?
Power was a heavy burden, much too heavy even for the child who had the delicate balance of the world placed in his care.
Malleus sunk deeper into the water, feeling his body relax further as his tail wrapped comfortingly around his leg. He often daydreamed that it would be his mother combing his hair and dousing the thick ivory strands, telling him tales of when she was a young child, a Princess before a Queen, as he would play with the suds that floated gently to the surface.
In that world, his parents were both still alive and well, not yet cast carelessly to the whims of the underworld. His grandmother would still sit with him and listen to his babbles and his fairytales, not yet burdened with the work of three royals- the crown prince not yet ready to wear the crown's weight (he feared that if he were to wear it, it would slip around his neck and crush his windpipe, the weight too large and the boy too weak).
He sighed and sank deeper into the water, exhaustion pulling at his soft eyelids and gushing him into a dreamless sleep. He felt the warmth around him- perhaps the warmth of his mother's arms or his father's hand upon his head. The warmth of his grandmother's coat and of Lilia's encouragement as he tucked him into bed (Malleus supposed that he missed that most of all, the thought of Lilia dying on the battlefield leading to many tear-filled nights sobbing quietly into his pillow. He missed the bat fae most of all, and dreaded the day the man's troops would come back into the kingdom and General VanRouge would be nowhere to be seen. Oh how he longed for Lilia to have written down a story or two for him to read on long nights such as these.).
Suddenly his lungs were filled with that warmth, and Malleus was sure he was drowning as he stared through the surface of the water back at the scenes that played out on the ceiling.
What scared him the most was that he did not flail, nor scream nor cry nor beg the stars for another chance at life. He was at peace as the water took him, as it filled his being and blurred his vision beneath the soapy water.
Bitterly he thought that a lavender-scented death would not be the worst.
The servants pulled him from the bath and pampered him, escorted him into his room and helped him get into his pajamas (luxurious, yes, but the collar was much too tight and reminded him all too much of the scratchy lace of the collars he's forced to wear day in and day out, a constant reminder of the threat that came with his title. One wrong move and he will lose his head, he's sure.).
Every day Malleus was reminded of that peace, of the chill that bit at his cheeks from the storm outside, of the absolute bliss that came with finally allowing his body to float in the vastness between life and death.
He was no longer a child, and the shadow of the crown that loomed overhead became more and more solid as it reached for him, thorns that wrapped around his limbs and held him to the ground, biting into his pale skin and ripping into his leathery wings until he grit his teeth and set them all ablaze in a green glow that consumed the world should he lose control. Malleus was forced to twirl in a macabre waltz with his destiny, the destiny that doomed him to centuries of solitude, of isolation from the warmth he sought oh so desperately.
By the time Lilia had returned from the war, Malleus was no longer the wide-eyed, innocent child that he once had been. The fanciful stories no longer filled him with warmth- it filled him with the dread and the sorrow that came with knowing that he could never achieve that fairytale ending that he craved. Even Lilia could not undo the effects of the jeers of the citizens of the Valley of Thorns, the trauma cause by sharing death after death that lingered within the tall stone walls of the castle- all caused by the war that was declared by his own blood.
He was a prince, yes. But he could never fill the role of being someone's savior for he was the villain in everyone's story but his own. He could never hold someone as close as he wished, for he would rather lock them away in a tower far, far away from everyone else because he would finally have something that was his, someone who did not stay around him due to obligation or fear- someone who stayed simply because they wanted to.
Perhaps that part of his nature was what made him so villainous, so unlovable to all those who were near.
His loneliness left him in more agony than the thorns that had detained him from birth. The isolation was similar to the cold that nipped at his porcelain skin that same night. He'd imagined that only a watery grave could lift the weight of the crown from his head. Malleus often imagined that same warmth as he watched the jeweled headpiece float to the surface as he sank to the bottom. With a morbid curiosity he often wondered what it would feel like to give into that craving for release- would the people mourn him? Or would they instead mourn the empty position left over?
Yet, the chill of the night seems to be at bay as he sits now with his lover in his arms, head resting against his broad chest as they sleep peacefully, face twitching with every movement within their dream. He slowly wraps the blanket tighter around them as his eyes trail to the small fireplace that sat in Ramshackle's lounge. The fire crackled and snapped, small embers rising up the chimney as the walls creaked with the same wind that shook him to the core that very night.
He had found his warmth, his breath of air as he broke free from the surface. The crown would still lay heavy atop his head, would still scratch at his horns and get tangled in his hair as the vines would still bite into his skin as he tore away at them only for more to appear in their places.
He would bear all that and ten times more for his love.
Malleus rests his hand against their head, smiling softly at the way they stir in their sleep as they felt his icy hands make contact with their own heated skin.
"My Love?" He whispers, deep voice reverberating in his chest against the peace of the night. "Would you stay if you truly knew the burden of being a royal?"
No response, not that he expected any. The fae continues anyways, feeling his jaw clench as tears stream down his face.
"Would you deny me if you knew of the agony you would go through? Would you shut me away and leave me forgotten in this wasteland if you had a mere taste of the burden that is loving a prince?" His breaths were becoming more ragged as the tears continued to fall. "Would you still hold my affections within your heart if you'd heard of the condemnable thoughts that race through my mind- the thoughts that tell me to hide you away and keep you safe from this damnable world we call ours?" The war and the blood and the grief from the blood spilled, isolation, endless nights in his study, a prince forced to be alone by himself for centuries, discarded if not for the blood that pumps through his veins.
"Would you mourn me if I allow your warmth to be my demise?"
"Mal?" He hears them murmur. He feels a twinge of guilt for waking them, unaware of his sniffling and how it disturbed their slumber.
"Apologies, my Love."
"Don't be sorry," They rub their eyes and Malleus feels as though he held his very future within his clawed hands, images of seeing them in this state day and night flashing through his mind at such high speeds that it makes his head spin as he subconsciously holds them tighter. "What's wrong?"
"Nothing. Please, rest."
"Are you sure?" They sit up and press their forehead to his as they allow their eyes to slip closed once more, pressing a soft kiss to his cold lips and pulling away far too soon for the greedy dragon’s liking. "How can I help you?"
"Hold me, please," Malleus can't hide the desperation that seeps into his voice as the words climb from his throat. They wrap their arms around his neck and pull him closer into the plush couch. He wraps his arms around them as well, one arm snaking around their waist while another entangles itself in the hair at the base of their skull as he buries his face in the crook of their neck, careful of his horns. It's only a matter of seconds before his lover is fast asleep once more, and Malleus feels the pull of slumber upon himself. He allows his eyes to slip closed, pulling the human closer to him and praying to the stars that he dreams of this moment for now and forever.
352 notes · View notes