#sorry if you're not an asshole anon

[hms-no-fun]

Why is it that Jane threatening to buy the post office as a teenager is indicative of her becoming a fascist as an adult? Couldn’t it just be that she’s upset at her delayed package and makes a threat she has no actual intention of following through on?

why is a child billionaire threatening to buy a public service with the explicit intention of privatizing it (something that is very much within her power to do) indicative of the possibility that she might grow up to be a fascist? man, i dunno. i guess you'd have to make the argument that one's class position dictates their ideology and morality, and that as such rich people are conditioned from an early age to view all of society as a series of products to be purchased and resources to be pillaged.

is it destiny? certainly not. there are so many different ways jane could grow up. the epilogues show us one very particular vision of jane's future wherein that rich kid grew up into a rich fascist. neither i nor the epilogues think that this is the *only* vision for her future, and you know, the text invites you to write the jane you want to see in the world. my contention is that the epilogues' vision of jane is imminently plausible, and sheds some really interesting light on a side of her character that we saw in fits and starts in homestuck proper. of course i don't like how she's written with jake in the epilogues, personally. i think a lot of that stuff is mean-spirited in the bad way. but come on. have you read homestuck? jane sucks! all the alphas suck, that's what makes them great. the betas suck too but they're like vanilla suck. the alphas are neapolitan suck. they're a beautiful codependent disaster. i love them. i hate them. i think it's good when characters suck, actually.

oh and the trolls are a damp burlap sack of wet rocks shoveled off an old gravel road in an april hail storm in the rural midwest. that's neither here nor there i just didn't want to leave them out of the ice cream analogy

wait what was your question? oh right, fascist jane. yeah man i'm right there with you. totally. oh yeah, no, for sure. right. right. the breast milk was too much. right! yeah i agree. oh my god you're so right. yeah. oh absolutely. uhuh. oh i know. yeah. that was really problematic, yeah. oh i hated that part. uhuh. right. oh my god i know!

i hope you're filling in the blanks between those sentences because that's the closest you're gonna get to a conversation where i agree with you about jane crocker

[insurged]

super duper lowkey shipping call

[cistematicchaos]

Pregnancy isn't considered a temporary disability because it's a normal thing that happens to normal people and our disabilities are abnormal things that we're cursed with. Not everything that needs accommodations is a disability.

I'm assuming this is a serious ask bc of the last sentence. Uhm, eugenics is calling? They think you'd be a perfect spokesperson for the cause. Call back at 1800-TheFaceEatingLeopardsDefinitelyWontEatYourFace or just, yknow, go fuck yourself.

Btw, my argument had nothing to do with "things that require accommodations are disabilities" so maybe actually read what I wrote next time.

[most-fuck-able-ff14]

In seriousness even if you don't like a character, the very least you could do is actually include their name in the poll section. You can dislike them all you want, but it is pretty rude to the people that DO like those characters, even if you don't, and if you're going to take the time to do something like this the bare minimum you could do is be considerate for the people voting in it.

Anon is very mad i called Lahabrea a stinky asshole man who doesn't wash his hands. -Mod Fisher

[emile-hides]

I know what you mean, i hate that the dumb wizard bear makes seem like Anzu is wrong for liking video games, chocolate and Cats. Then there's how it made her parents abandon her.

I'm sorry anon I know you sent me this ask yesterday but it's simply too late. My loyalties have changed

[alarrytale]

.

[jalebi-weds-bluetooth]

Hi JWB, your idea to sort the blog is awesome.i always think about arnav challenging Kushi "tum mere baaho mai avogi, tum mujhe apna pati manogi" the scene where he scares her with power cut and arranging rose path.., i always felt the idea of track is off but the scene where Kushi hugs him back and both have a small relief and small on their face makes it worth watching. Could please if possible give us an analysis about it.

Hey Anon!

Thanks for liking the blog sorting!

I have mixed feelings for everything between Khushi's birthday and remarriage.

In context with him blackmailing her over their (unlawful) contractual wedding, hurting her the worst way possible, being abusive by threatening her to not leave the house and unable to say a fucking happy birthday BUT utilizing her fear of darkness - WHICH STEMMED FROM HER PARENTS' DEATHS - yeah, I don't like it.

Out of context he's still being an asshole about it, but it's far more digestible. Like I can see it after the Diwali track when Khushi's pissed about his tirade on money (even after having put her own foot in her mouth) and suddenly claiming, ha, I'm not your wife and him going... ok... we're legally married twice now... let's see how that goes. It's the only way I can see that scene.

Otherwise, Arnav crossed all lines for me to enjoy him on screen (BUT IT ABSOLUTELY SHOULDN'T TAKE AWAY YOUR OR ANYONE ELSE'S ENJOYMENT OF THAT SCENE. Like pls tv is meant for fun, so absolutely love it - just don't think actions like that are cute or anything for your own life. If someone can pull all shit but not say sorry, that's red flags in the biggest way possible. So, as long as you're watching with that awareness - keep enjoying).

Best,

JWB

[riisume]

Em, sorry for the question... But who's Lrix?

Another game character?

It's alright, anon!

And nah, he's one of my one-off sonas/OCs that I didn't stay interested in for very long. T~T I drew him once and then never again, haha.

[navree]

Regarding the rhaena ask as somebody who adores fanon rhaena i think people for get how little characterisation ALL the team black kids have in cannon they basically just exist either to die or build out the family tree in f&b and the show doesn't help with this cutting jace and cregan which is like THE ONE THING JACE DOES??, Rhaena and Baela have like 4 lines each it's insane

Yeah I've been singing this song for a while, the younger gen of Team Black got absolutely no characterization. Jace had a bit in episodes 6 & 7 about having some hangups over Harwin being his father, but I think they abandoned that when they realized that Jace having issues about his birth might make him conflicted about his mom and we can't have that, no one is allowed to view Rhaenyra unsympathetically ever and we can't allow subtleties because this fandom is made up of 90% morons who wouldn't catch them and then would get pissy. Luke also got no characterization other than what appears to be budding sociopathy given that he's never shown any remorse or guilt over nearly killing a person in a fight where he was at fault. It's why I burst out laughing when 1x10 opened, because that whole "mummy I am small bean give me kisses while I bat my doe eyes" scene was so transparently a way to get people to care about Luke so that we wouldn't all be left scratching our heads going "oh OK" when Vhagar ate him, since they utterly failed to develop him at all at that point.

Baela and Rhaena I've always said have it most egregiously. I cannot stress this enough, I could not name five individual characteristics for either of those girls. Did they even have any lines after the second time jump? The writers put no effort into them at all. Zip, zilch, zero. And I'm getting pissy anons (honestly I think it's actually one person who's obsessed with me and just jumps on my ass the second I talk about either Baela or Rhaena because they have nothing better to do than stalk my little blog but that's just a theory) about the fact that I'm not invested in the character? That I don't care about her? That her actions are illogical to me as an audience member because they belie an emotion that was never shown because she got no characterization? No, I'm sorry, blame the writers. I am the consumer of the product, I am the audience, it is actually not incumbent on me to create a character out of whole cloth for the writing team. If they want me to care about Rhaena, put some fucking effort into her character. Give her lines, give her a personality, give her a fucking storyling (I mean, other than Nettles, seeing as how Black women are not in fact interchangeable HBO and it's not even just a racist writing decision, it's straight up bad), put in a modicum of work into her. That's the canon fact, there's nothing there, I'm surprised I have to say this outside of the Batman fandom (fanworks Tim Drake my nemesis) but fanon is not canon, and when I'm asked about canon, I'm discussing the canon, save for when I'm specifically asked to theorize and move beyond it.

It is not my fault that I don't care about a character because the writers decided not to give her anything, nor am I a bad person for fucking pointing it out and just being a bit blunt in my language while doing so. It's not that hard for these writers to actually put their backs into it and write a story, especially with the room they have with Rhaena, since she didn't even fucking do anything for the entire Dance anyway except faff around in the Vale.

I also think the absolutely atrocious way Rhaena and Baela were handled can't really be divorced from some internal prejudices the writers have. I mean, it really hasn't escaped my notice that the two younger gen characters who got the most development were Aegon and Aemond, two men. And it absolutely has not escaped my notice that, even though Helaena got significantly less character moments than her brothers, she still got a base characterization that's remained consistent and can lead to further personal plots in coming seasons (like her dragon-dreaming). Helaena, played by a white actress, was allowed this dignity, while Baela and Rhaena, played by two Black actors, were not. Combined with the lack of care given to the Velaryons as a whole, I've mentioned this before but it doesn't paint a great picture of this writer's room and any real attempts to be diverse and inclusive beyond performative casting that they aren't willing to work with in any meaningful way. Not all of it is internalized prejudices, there was clearly just no effort put into characterizing any of the younger TB characters as a whole (or even any of the TB characters other than Rhaenyra and Daemon in a meaningful way), considering Jace had nothing and Luke could have spent his entire time on the show being played by a literal shrub and it still wouldn't have made a difference. There was clearly more effort put into characterizing the Team Green kids, and conversely none to their Team Black counterparts, but it's still bad writing, and I'm gonna call that out when I see it.

[skrunksthatwunk]

playing dmc1 with my earbuds in (but on low volume bc they're being weird) while my roommate and her shitty bf argue. i feel like i'm recreating the very specific experience of some child of divorce out there

[xenoshadow13]

Aren't you almost 30 years old? If so then what the fuck is an adult like you doing here? You're too old to be here so wtf you here for?

Wooooow. How bored were you to send this to my inbox? Because I highly doubt that you've sent this to me for being, to quote you, "too old to be here".

However, in the improbable possibility that you DO think I'm somehow too old to be here, then you're clearly too immature to be on the internet and should stay away until you develop enough emotional maturity and critical thinking to comprehend how utterly stupid that mindset is. :/

[cashmoneyyysstuff]

can you PLEASEEEE do something with the idea of reader stealing/wearing katsukis clothes?? you’re the only one who i think will fully do this idea justice xx

pure fluff, reader is a thief, reader likes the way katsuki smells, roughhousing lol kinda ?? katsuki sorta tackles you, katsuki is a meanie, tickling, no pronouns mentioned in this one I don’t think ! lemme know if i missed sum else !!

a/n : hey so this has been sittin in my drafts for literal decades omg IM SO SORRY🙁🙁🙁🙁ALSO BTW TYSM FOR THINKIN I COULD DO UR ASK JUSTICE I WAS SO FLATTERED WHEN I READ THIS I WAS GIGGLING N SHIT🤭🤭i was always so excited for this ask but I literally never got around to doing it after my break n stuff, im slowly (and that’s suuuuper slowly im so sorry yall i suck) getting to all of your asks one at a time and im so grateful yall r still givin me the time of day honestly , so please be patient with me🤧💗💗💍 ! But anway enough dumping ! Anon if you’re still sticking around, i truly hope u enjoy this ! And ofc all of yall too ! much luv xxx!!

"you fuckin' thief.."

shit. you thought he'd be gone for longer.

lately, you’d been routinely sneaking into katsuki’s dorm room and nabbing some of his clothes. sweaters, hoodies, t-shirts : as long as they were in your reach, you’d grab them.

it's not your fault, really ! katsuki's clothes are so cosy and warm and they smell just like him. plus, they're perfect to snuggle in when he's busy, how could you not borrow them for a little while ?!

..except you can admit that you’ve been stalling..and a lot of his clothes were still in your room, but you still planned on giving them back..soon !

and you can’t even pretend, because you’re wearing on of his hoodies that had been missing for a good week now.

"katsuki, baby." you slowly lean away from his clothes drawer, your hand ready to snag a black hoodie of his slowly trailing towards the floor "i can explain."

"all my damn sweaters, my fuckin' hoodies. they all just vanished without a trace.." he starts, slowly stalking over to you. you squeak, slowing getting on your knees to prepare yourself should you have to break his ankles and sprint out of the room. he's fuming, eyebrows twitching "thought i was goin' crazy.."

"and all this time.."

"suki.." you try, voice wobbly as your knees shake with each step closer he gets.

"it's been fucking YOU ?!"

and he pounces.

with a squeal, you scramble and dash away just as he leaps for you and narrowly misses, he's got you cornered as you're on opossite sides of his bed while you beg for mercy and he keeps yelling at you to 'come here'. in a panick you grab one of his pillows and fling it at him.

it feels like the pillow slides down his face in slow motion to reveal a look so vile a demon appearing in front of you right now would scare you less

“you’re. so. dead.”

there’s really nowhere else for you to go. you’re truly cornered, you might as well just be buried right now. you think about the leftovers waiting for you in the fridge and how sero still hadn’t returned the manga he’d leant from you, but you’ve lived a pretty good life.

before your body can decide to move, katsuki leaps over to you tackling you and having you land straight onto his bed with a loud shriek.

frantically, you wave your hands around “wait, wait pleasepleasepleasepleasepleas-” but your begs of mercy are cut off when katsuki jams a finger into your side, causing you to yelp. he hovers over you with a mean smirk. and you know what’s coming.

“katsu—”

you don’t even get to finish before he jams his hands into your sides and mercilessly tickles you.

from an outsiders point of view? this is harmless. but your boyfriend is mean and the biggest asshole in the world because he knows all of your weak spots and the places he knows will have you shaking and gasping for breath. it felt like actually torture, really.

“thought you could get away with it, huh ?” he sneers, leaning down a bit more so he’s eye level with you “thought you could keep taking my shit and i’d just neeever find out, hm ? yeah ?”

“b-but i—ah ! didn’t—!” you gasp and squeal, choking on the sentences you can’t manage to push out of your throat as your eyes squeeze closed. you don’t have to see his face to know he’s enjoying this.

“you’re a fuckin’ thief.” he spits, backing up from you so you don’t headbutt him square in the nose from your thrashing. you’re response is nothing but a harsh gasp and he smirks wider.

you think he’s finally, finally taken pity on you when his fingers slow to a stop, but he glares down at you, hands still on either sides of you “say it.”

you can’t even catch your breath before he hurriedly pressed closer to your sides to scare you, you shriek “stop ! m’sorry !”

“not what i wanted you to say, try again.”

“you’re—” you take a breath “sucha”

his fingers graze your shirt and his eyes are wide, daring you to finish your sentence, you bring your hands up to try to hide his field of vision.

“OKAY ! okay, okay…” you slowly lower your hands away, finally dropping them at your sides with a sigh “m’ a thief…” you mumble in defeat, embarrassment creeping up on you not only from the fact that you got caught but that the blond above you clearly enjoyed your torture if the evil snickers you heard we’re any sign of that.

he hums in satisfaction “mhm, no good fuckin’ thief. should lock you up and throw away the key on your ass.” you hate how handsome he looks when he’s playful like this with you. your sides still hurt and your voice is croaky from how out of breath you were and for a moment you seriously thought you saw the pearly gates.

you pout, and all it does is make him smile wider.

your boyfriend is mean. and the biggest asshole in the entire fucking world.

“s’not my fault..your clothes are comfy.” you mumble, crossing your arms over your chest. “and they smell good.”

he scoffs, leaning down closer towards you “that’s cus i fuckin’ wash them. and i haven’t been able to lately cus someone’s been stealing my entire closet.”

“i didn’t !”

“was boutta make me walk around naked, ya moron. all my clothes are gone.” you roll your eyes, he never lacked in the dramatics department.

“you’re such a drama queen.” you whine, sinking into his comforter. he ignores you and he presses your cheeks together with one hand, chuckling at your smooched cheeks and furrowed brows.

“stop stealing my stuff.” he announces slowly. he’s clear, no way you could’ve misunderstood him anyway. he sighs and presses a quick peck to your lips still pressed together

“if you want one of my sweaters r’something, jus’ come ask me. can give you one..or whatever.” he finishes, voice slightly muffled in embarrassment as he shoves his mouth against yours again and again making wet kissing sounds and you manage a giggle. he rolls his eyes, but a smile slowly crawls up his face anyway as he releases your cheeks. you let out a happy sigh, opening and closing your mouth to get rid of the slight soreness.

“take this shit off though.” he tugs at the hoodie you’re wearing “stinks. need to put it in the wash.”

“no it doesn’t !” you protest, pressing the color against your nose in an attempt to keep it close to you “it smells like you!” you pout. he doesn’t respond for a bit, opting to squint at you while the tips of his ears turned pink. and in a second his snatched the bottom of it and ripped it off of you, ripping a pathetic scream from you.

he examined his hoodie with an unreadable expression before his eyes land back on you for a second, then he slowly starts folding up his sweater “you trynna say i stink ?” he says lowly.

“no. i wouldn’t wear your clothes if they were nasty” you scrunch up your nose “you can take back the sweater in my room, though. the smell is starting to wear off.”

“gee, thanks for offering to give me my sweater back. weirdo” he glares, spitting his words out sarcastically and you giggle at his extra emphasis on his ownership of the hoodie which earns you a huff.

“ i’m grabbing all the shit you took from me, and they stay with me.” he starts warningly “but you can keep this, i guess..” he adds, patting on his now folded hoodie ready for a cleaning. you smile happily, running your socked feet into his blankets.

“ oh, but don’t forget to wear it first after you washed it, want it to smell like you. otherwise there’s no point.”

“you really are a fucking weirdo.” he spits, but the way his cheeks burn bright red say he’s not truly mad about it. you laugh, and katsuki grumbles. “hope you learned your lesson, freak.” he taunts. you hum in fake thought, then release a sigh.

“yeah, i guess i did.” you concede, and he nods proudly.

and sure, yeah, you’re boyfriend’s a big meanie. but you do a great job at riling him up.

“for now.”

[fcthots]

ive had a revelation.

Jason Todd is called "Jaybean" by y/n in front of the batboys who have no idea jay even has a WIFE (let alone someone who he isnt dangerously annoyed by) and everyone goes fucking nuts (in a cute way)

(also can I have an anon emoji bc i'm planning to be here quite a bit i'm so sorry your writing and the brainrot is just too good TvT)

I hereby name you 🧶 anon bc I clicked it on accident so it was meant to be

It's not your fault he wasn't responding to you. You just figured he was ignoring you or something, so you texted him...several times.

You: Hey do you want batburger for dinner bc if the answer is yes, I need to leave to go get it now

You: Jay

You: Babe

You: I will drive all the way there to get just my order out of spite

You: Baby

You: Ok it's been like ten minutes, I really need to know

You: Red

You: Jason

You: Answer your phone

You: It's been like 25 minutes. I don't care about the food. Are you ok?

You: Ok you're starting to freak me out now, you were supposed to be back like 15 minutes ago

You: Jason, sweetheart

You: Love

You: Shnookums

You: Pookie

You: Jaybean?

You: Jason Peter Todd if you don't pick up the phone, I will divorce you

Your phone starts ringing. It's Jason. Something feels...off. A phone call?

You ignore your questions and pick up the phone. "WHERE IN THE EVER-LOVING FUCK HAVE YOU BEEN?"

"Oh" That was not your husbands voice. What the fuck?

"um.. hello?"

"Who is this?"

"This is-... Wait. You're the one with my husband's phone. Who is THIS?"

"Wait. Wait. Wait. Wait. Wait. HUSBAND?"

"Who the fuck is this? Where is Jason?"

The man on the other end of the phone starts laughing. He's whispering the several other people. It lasts far longer than it should. "Um. This his brother, Dick."

"Hey, fuck you, asshole. You're the one with Jason's phone. Don't call me a dick-."

"That's my name. Dick is my name."

"...Oh"

"Jason is uhhh asleep right now. Yeah. He's... He was really tired. He's taking a nap."

"A nap? Can you wake him up?"

"...no"

"no?"

"..."

"Did he get his shit rocked by Croc again?"

"WHAT"

[sceletaflores]

can you write a smut fic with mike x reader where he eats you out?? thank you!!

Eating In (It's good for you)

pairing: mike schmidt x afab!reader

summary: mike is a munch always why would i write anything else???

warnings: 18+!!! NSFW!!! MDNI!!! oral sex (f!receving), fingering, squirting (kinda?)

word count: y'all already know 1.3k

authors note: you guys really speak my language. the beginning of this got a lot fluffier than i was expecting lol still filthy though. 18+ content mdni!!! hope you love it anon mwah <333 also pretty sure i flipped flopped between perspectives sorry babies i'm dumb

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it's no secret that mike lives for eating you out. he could live between your thighs if it was up to him, spending hours drawing out those desperate noises from your lips when he does that thing with his tongue that you love.

the feeling of your hands tugging his hair and your thighs tightening around his head because you just feel so good make his eyes roll back in his head every time he thinks about it.

tonight was no exception, but it was a little different.

as soon as the two of you put abby to bed he was on you. pinning you to his bed as you lazily made out, grinding against each other in slow relaxed motions.

“baby,” mike breathes between kisses, “can you do me a favor?”

you hum in acknowledgement, not wanting to pull away from kissing mike enough to reply.

mike chuckles against your lips, breaking the kiss to nip teasingly at your lips. “i want you to ride my face.” he whispers dirtily, licking a stripe over your lips.

mike watched as his request sinks in, your eyes widening and mouth dropping open just a bit. “mike…” you whisper, he can hear the hesitation in your voice. he can’t have that.

“come on baby, please?” he pleads, moving his hands to rub soft circles into your hips. “you’ll love it, baby. i’ll make it so good for you.”

mike can see the moment your pupils completely dilate, fully swallowing your iris’. your chest heaving as your adrenaline kicks up.

after a beat, you nod slowly. your soft “okay” barely audible, mike grins like he just won the lottery.

“well hop on baby,” mike says, pressing a chaste kiss to your lips. “we don’t have all night.”

mike pulls away, falling on his back on the bed. laying his laced hands on his stomach, waiting patiently for you to give him what he wants.

he waits as you take a steadying breath, gathering up the courage before you rise up and start to shuffle over to him. mikes hungry eyes watch you swing your leg over his lap, making your way up his body.

you stop short, sitting on his stomach with a timid look. mike places two grounding hands on your hips, squeezing them reassuringly.

“you have to tell me if i’m smothering you or something. i don’t need to accidentally kill you.” your hands fidget with the waist of mikes pants nervously.

“what a way to go.” he says wistfully, a dopey grin on his face.

you let out a small laugh, trying and failing to hide your smile. “you’re such an asshole.” you reply, pinching his chest teasingly. your tone is too fond to hold any actual malice. mike laughs back.

finally, you start to shuffle higher up his torso, but he stops you holding your hips in place. “other way, baby.”

it doesn’t take a lot of brain power to understand what he means. you let out a soft moan, a shiver wracks your body. pleasure zings up your spine at how filthy this is.

it’s a little awkward, but you manage to swing your legs around so you're facing the rest of his bedroom, not just the wall. from this angle, you can see how his dick is tenting the front of his loose sleeping pants, a wet spot forming near the tip.

you still only hover over your boyfriend's face instead of truly sitting, scared of hurting him. mike decides not to say anything, too preoccupied with the view directly in-front of him.

“fuck,” mike whispers hotly, staring up at your clothed pussy makes his dick twitch. baby pink lace darkened by how wet you are. he leans up slightly, running his tongue over the rough lace still covering you.

"shit...mike," you shudder, legs trembling on either side of his head.

mike takes his time, laving his tongue over the soaked lace a few times, reveling in your familiar taste, but his patience wears thin. soon enough he's tugging your panties aside to get at what he really wants before returning them to your hips.

mike moans at the sight of your slick pussy, already so wet from his mouth. he can't help but softly run his pointer finger through your folds, gathering your wetness and using it to circle around your clit.

you moan softly, trying your best to be quiet so abby doesn't wake up.

mike stops his fingers assault on your clit, too eager to chase the sight of your convulsing pussy with his mouth, the tip of his tongue sliding easily through your folds. he groans, rubbing his face between your thighs, no doubt covering his nose and chin in the copious amount of wetness leaking from your pussy. he quickly gets lost in the feeling of tasting you, of licking and sucking at your clit making you moan and whine.

"shit!" you exclaim, pitching forward to steady yourself with your hands flat on his chest. the rough feel of his stubble scratching your inner thighs, most likely leaving red marks on the skin there. you hope it'll leave marks, that you'll be able to feel it every time you walk tomorrow, a reminder of what the two of you did tonight.

by now you're white knuckling the front of his shirt as you frantically circle your hips against his face, the bed squeaking quietly under your movements. mike spurs you on with small smacks to your ass, groaning into your pussy with every pass of his tongue over your fluttering hole.

you can feel the vibrations in mike's throat as he fucks you with his tongue, guttural groans making your thighs shake in an attempt to stay upright.

but it's just too much, the onslaught of his tongue making you forget all about your earlier insecurity, and you fully lower yourself onto his mouth too caught up in your pleasure to even hold yourself up anymore.

mike's eyes widen in surprise at you seating yourself on his face, moaning way too loudly at how hot it is to see you lose control.

"fuck! feels so good, mike," you slur, head hanging down to your chest, hair falling around your face. "mph- mike - ah, ah, ah,"

you realize you're going to come like this, riding mike's face like you're starved for it. you can feel it, the warmth settling deep in your belly. flames licking there way up your body.

mike realizes it too apparently, because he latches his mouth over your clit and plunges two fingers into your clenching pussy, thrusting them in and out quickly.

the lewd squelching noises that fill the room make your cheeks burn in embarrassment. 

“holy fucking shit! mike fuck!” you moan, trying desperately to control your volume. “i’m gonna come, oh fuck.” mike moans in respines, speeding up both his tongue and fingers.

the combination of mike’s tongue rapidly flicking over your clit and thick fingers expertly hitting your g-spot every thrust pushes you over the edge. one final suck to your clit has you coming all over mike’s face. drenching the lower part of his face in your juices and soaking up the dirty groans mike makes as he sucks up every last drop.

mike pulls away from you clit, and takes his fingers out of your pussy to let you come down from your orgasm. kissing across the inside of your thighs as you shake and tremble above him.

after a few shuddering breaths, you lift up and off mike’s face to collapse onto the mattress next to him. the two of you lay next to each other staring up at the ceiling, panting out wet breaths as you come down.

you turn to mike, his lips are slick and red. lower half of his face shining with your come, eyes half-open and hazy. you lift your hand to trial your finger down his body, making your way to the waist of his sleeping pants riding low on his hips showing off his dark happy trail. your hand slides lower to the ever still present hard-on tenting his pants obscenely, rubbing over his erect dick with purpose.

“your turn?”

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taglist!

@yuenity @ebodebo @mfdxz

[russellsppttemplates]

The “she’s busy” prank with lando cuz i reckon it would be funny😭

link to trend- https://vm.tiktok.com/ZGemP92BS/

Note: thank you for attaching a link, anon, you know me and my lack of knowledge of TikTok way too well 😭 I have seen a few posts too, so hopefully it's good enough!

Lando left the track he did his run of the day on, preferring to do it there instead of running in the city like usual. He was thinking you could have some takeout at home, getting his phone from his pocket to ask you what you were fancying.

Hey baby, just finished my run and I thought we could have some takeout! Is there anything tickling your fancy?

Lando sipped some of the water he brought with him as he waited for your reply.

Bro, she's busy

That was weird, who would have your phone? He didn't recall you mentioning someone visiting and he knew you were staying home.

What do you mean? Y/N, are you okay?

I just told you she's busy

That wasn't usual, and Lando was starting to worry

Who is this?

Put Y/N on the phone, please, give it to her

No can do, I told you we're busy

Doing what?

That sounds like none of your business, mate

Lando tried calling you but the call was instantly declined.

That's it, I'm coming home

Lando sent the text and started his car, driving home as he heard a few messages getting through but being wise enough to not text while driving. A call came through as he stopped at a red light, accepting it with the button on his steering wheel, "baby, Y/N, are you okay?", he spoke as he heard wheezing and laughs on the other side of the call, "is everything okay? I'll be home in about five minutes, okay?".

"I'm sorry, baby", you breathed out, "Max and P wanted me to try it! I'm sorry, my love", you explained as your boyfriend's bestfriend took your phone.

"Pietra saw it on TikTok on our way here to surprise you and she knew you'd fall for it", he explained as Lando groaned, "it was funny though!".

"I was worried sick, you asshole!", Lando yelled, "I left my girlfriend at home and changed my usual run routine and I thought someone had broken in!", he said.

"Usually people think they're being cheated on", Pietra chirped in. Lando shook his head and scoffed even though they couldn't see him, "Y/N wouldn't cheat on me", he said confidently. It had been the first thing you promised eachother and you both took it seriously.

"So you thought someone was kidnapping me? And you were coming to get me and save me?", you cooed, "of course I would, baby! I'm parking the car, I'll be up in a bit", he dialled off the call.

Opening the door for him, you jumped in his arms and his your face in his neck, "you'd come to save and protect me?", you cooed again, kissing his face everywhere in hopes he would forgive you, "of course I would, I knock the guy right out", he flexed his muscles.

Max laughed as Lando closed the door with his foot and walked to the living room to meet them, "first you come here unannounced, then proceed to prank e through my girlfriend and you're laughing about my fighting abilities? It sounds like you really want to be offered to sleep in the balcony", Lando tsked, "you wouldn't", Max groaned, "I wouldn't, but it would be good considering what happened", Lando reasoned before kissing your neck when you nuzzled your face in his neck, "also, someone needs to order the takeout now, so I think that's punishment enough".

(Thank you for sending this in ✨️)

[eldritch-nightmare]

Can you make a scenario about how the pastas would react after an argument? Like, if the reader left to get some fresh air? (I crave angst)

-💫Anon

a/n: indeed i can my friend here's a healthy amount of (very mild) angst just for you. i'm so totally gonna use this idea in a future chapter for the silly lil scenarios book as well because uh angst. maybe the prompt got away from me just a little bit i won't lie.

how do they react after an argument?

includes: jeff the killer, laughing jack, slenderman, nina the killer, eyeless jack, jane the killer, candy pop, clockwork, ticci toby, nurse ann, x virus, kagekao, jason the toymaker, the puppeteer, homicidal liu, sully, the bloody painter, the doll maker, zalgo, and hobo heart.

warnings: the aftermath of an argument, relationship disputes, some of these are healthy and some of these are not, inconsistent length.

JEFF THE KILLER would honestly be more upset if you walked out after an argument. he's already upset enough as it is, so you turning your back to him and storming out just makes his blood boil. he won't follow after you, but he'll definitely disappear for the next few days. he really isn't the best at resolving arguments, no matter how small they are. and unless he really fucks up, then he isn't going to apologize even if he is in the wrong. he's jeff the fucking killer, what the hell does he have to feel sorry about? you should consider yourself lucky that he didn't gut you for pissing him off.

if you want to have any form of resolve to this argument, you'll have to force the conversation because he will actively try to shut you down. he can't. he literally can't. resolution is not something he is good at, and unless you're the one to apologize, even if you aren't the one who is at fault, he's just not going to let any of this resolve. does that make him an asshole? yeah, it does. does he feel guilty? just a little. does that change anything? no, not really.

LAUGHING JACK, similar to jeff, would feel more upset over you walking away from the fight rather than the fight itself. he can come off as pretty scary during an argument, especially if it's one where he feels like he's in the right. he gets frustrated easily, and he's just overall a very expressive person, so. and he can get pretty fucking mean if he wants to, so yeah honestly you needing to walk away makes complete and total sense and he knows that it makes sense but that doesn't make him any less upset.

he'll just blame it on his abandonment issues or something because seeing you leave just to go and calm down should not have hurt as much as it did. and he debates going after you but he ultimately decides it would be best if he didn't. he wants to resolve this though, and he'll try but it'll be painfully awkward because, i mean, yeah.

SLENDERMAN is, by default, a pretty scary being the begin with so i imagine an argument with it would be pretty unnerving. it isn't used to people arguing with it, that's for sure. i think it would be more amused than upset, seeing such a small being stare up at it as if trying to intimidate it... it's a cute sight to see, that's for sure. it'll keep that thought to itself, of course. it imagines that saying such a thing out loud may only make things worse.

slender won't be upset when you walk away. it understands that you're just going to cool off. it'll take this time to clear its own thoughts until the two of you are ready to talk again and clear up the tension.

NINA THE KILLER would be immensely frustrated seeing you walk away. she'll probably let out a groan and tell you to come back, but she won't follow after you. she understands that if the two of you kept arguing any longer, things would only get worse. she knows that, so she'll use this as a chance to calm down herself. nina gets over things easier than you would think, and if this argument wasn't over anything major then the next time you see her, she'll most likely be back to her usual self.

she'll probably be the first to apologize as well, even if she feels as if she's not the one at fault. she can't stand when you're upset at her, so just accept her apology so the two of you can move on, yeah?

EYELESS JACK is always viewed as mature and in control of his emotions. and he is. a little too in control if we're being honest here. for most arguments you guys may have, he'll keep his cool and will try to understand your point of view and where you're coming from. there are times, however, when the control he has over his emotions slips, and you get reminded that oh. your boyfriend is a cannibalistic demon that can literally kill you in the blink of an eye. he really doesn't mean to scare you, but it's definitely a good thing you choose that moment to walk away to cool off because he has to physically force himself to not go after you.

and once he calms down, he will apologize. it's a genuine apology, one written all over his face. he never wants to or means to invalidate you and your emotions, and he never wants to make you scared of him.

JANE THE KILLER would probably be the first to walk away from an argument, if we're being fairly honest. if this is richardson we're talking about, then she's definitely more mature about it and politely suggests that you both take fifteen minutes to cool off before continuing the conversation. she does it because it's one, a healthy thing to do for your relationship, and two, while she is heavily in control of her emotions, the liquid hate running through her veins enhances her anger and it would be really bad if she genuinely got angry.

if this is arkensaw, i think she'll be a little less mature than she would like. she portrays herself as someone in control of her emotions, but her emotions and her hatred are what drive her. she does her best to her burning-hot anger in check but if you two have an argument, then it's fairly difficult. if you walk away first, then it'll only serve to upset her more, but she won't go after you. honestly, she'll probably even avoid you in the coming days because her anger lingers. it always lingers.

CANDY POP thinks it's cute that this little argument of yours got you so worked up that you had to walk away from him. honestly hell yeah if i were you i'd walk away from him as well because there is simply no winning with this guy. worst man you could ever argue with, to be honest.

but as we all know, his mood can change in an instant with no warning so. one moment, he thinks you walking away from him is cute and adorable. the next, he's getting frustrated and following after you because you don't get to walk away from him, silly. haven't you realized that he owns you?

CLOCKWORK, while she has her own anger issues and tends to get easily frustrated by the smallest of things, does try her best to keep her emotions in check if you two ever have an argument. it's not easy, and there have been times when she's snapped at you, but she always apologizes immediately after.

you walking away would make sense. she understands, she knows that you both need to take time to calm down before things get too heated. she gets it. but depending on what you two are arguing about, doing so could only serve to make her more angry. it's... frustrating, really. she won't follow after you though, because she knows it's what is best.

TOBY would want you to walk away. he needs it, to be honest. he tries to avoid getting into arguments with you for various different reasons. arguing with you stresses him out more than he would like it to, and it reminds him of the hold you have on him. you walking away from the argument would give him time to clear his head and cool off.

once you've both calmed down, he'll probably be the first to approach you because he cannot stand the awkward tension that always lingers after arguments with people. he wants to clear the air so this can all just be water under the bridge. it'll be a painfully awkward conversation though. he's not good at... resolving arguments. never had a positive example, to be honest.

NURSE ANN struggles to speak, so i think she would try to avoid getting into an argument because she feels as if she won't be able to properly get her point across. but arguments are bound to happen sooner or later, even in the healthiest relationships. and ann, to put it simply, is a very angry person. she keeps that anger in check when you're around, but it's literally impossible to not slip up a few times.

since ann rarely ever vocally speaks, her anger is typically conveyed in her stares and her jerky gestures as she signs. you walking away is the smartest thing you could do in that moment, leaving her alone to stew in her always-burning anger that she'll choose to take out on any nearby destructible objects or some sad poor soul that just so happens to trespass at her hospital in the coming hours.

X-VIRUS seems like the type of guy who has never really been in any arguments, to be honest. maybe when he was at the orphanage he got into a few petty arguments between the other kids, but nothing that would warrant needing to walk away, y'know? and i definitely don't think he'd treat the argument seriously, brushing off your words and whatnot.

he only realizes that you were genuinely angry with him when you walked away. it's definitely like... a slap in the face that oh. i'm a fucking asshole. he's not really sure what to do in this moment, and he waits until you come back on your own to try and apologize. but he's not the best at apologies.

KAGEKAO wouldn't treat the argument seriously at all. at least, not at first. honestly, he'd probably purposefully get you even more upset just to get a reaction out of you. does that make him an asshole? oh, most certainly. he just likes seeing you feel anything towards him, even if it's anger. he likes getting a reaction out of you because it's him you're reacting to. and it's entertaining as well, though you don't need to know that.

when you walk away, he'll feel a little frustrated at not being able to see you but he won't follow after you. he knows when to stop his antics. shocking, i know. and, if you're lucky, he may even hold you in his arms once you calm down. it's his way of an apology, i suppose.

JASON THE TOYMAKER fucking hates arguing with you. you're his other half, so arguing with you makes him feel sick to his stomach because what if... what if you aren't the one? he likes you too much to lose you, so you have to be the one. he definitely seems like he'd try to keep the argument short, and he'll be relieved when you walk away to cool off.

you don't try to leave him afterward, even if he was at fault for whatever you two may have been bickering over. that's good, really. that means you want to stay with him, even if you two have arguments like this. that's... that's so good.

THE PUPPETEER can't stand when anyone argues with him, so yeah, any argument you may have with him will be horrible and tense and it will not be pretty. he has to be the one to get the final word. he has to be the one in the right, even if he isn't. you must be aware of this, right? i mean, you're (hopefully, i assume) willingly sticking around this guy, right? so you should know that there's no winning with him.

and you walking away is simply not something he'll take kindly to. it's something that'll more than likely get a how dare you reaction out of him. you're a fool if you think he's just going to let you walk away. no, he'll either follow after you, or he'll pull you back with his strings. the conversation isn't over until he says that it's over.

HOMICIDAL LIU definitely does try to avoid any potential arguments with you. to be honest, most of your arguments with him will more than likely stem from his almost blatant disregard for his health and safety when he's injured as well as his almost suffocating habit of needing to protect you and keep you safe. it's inevitable, even if it's something he tries so desperately to avoid. that desperation is what tends to lead to arguments as well, if we're being honest.

he's not upset when you walk away. honestly, he's glad that you do. he always feels pretty damn awful whenever you two fight, and he patiently waits until you're ready to pick things back up so you two can resolve things and move on.

SULLY listens to everything you say with rapt attention. the only thing that matters to him at that moment is whatever you two are arguing about. hell, he doesn't give a shit about the argument itself rather than what you say, the expressions you make, and your tone of voice. every little gesture or movement you make catches his attention. honestly, if you asked him what you two were arguing about, he'd just look at you with a slightly confused expression because he's already forgotten.

and when you walk away to cool off and get some air, he has to restrain himself from following after you. he forces himself to sit down and he bites his fist as his mind hyper-focuses on every word you said and the way you looked at him and just... yeah, he's already moved on from the argument he just wants to see your face and hear your voice again.

THE BLOODY PAINTER is definitely not someone you want to have an argument with, honestly. not because he's an angry person or scary to get into an argument with or anything like that, no. he's just... very apathetic. it'll feel like you're arguing with a brick wall rather than a person, and you'll maybe even feel as if he doesn't care about you or your feelings. he just stares at you, blank-faced and monotoned.

once you realize that this argument is going literally nowhere, you leave to calm yourself down and he stays behind. it's not that he doesn't care about you and your feelings, he does, truly, he just... well... i could go into heavy heavy detail about his apathy when it comes to arguments but to spare you the length of that, just know that he does care, he's just absolutely horrific at showing it. once you come back, he will apologize for not better expressing himself and for unintentionally invalidating you and your feelings. he'll be better, though it will take time for him to become expressive.

THE DOLL MAKER seems like the type of person who wouldn't handle arguments well, i think. he's a fairly closed-off person and has some trouble conveying his thoughts and feelings sometimes, so i think it would stress him out a bunch if he got into a fight with you. depending on how bad the argument is, he'll either try to diffuse the situation or he may get angry and make things worse.

the moment you walk off, vine will be throwing himself into work to both calm himself down and distract himself from any potentially needless thoughts. he'll certainly try his best to resolve the conflict with you once you've both taken time to calm down but it'll definitely be stiff.

ZALGO would be very amused if you try arguing with him over something. you, a silly little mortal that somehow managed to catch his interest, are trying to argue with him, an eldritch horror beyond human comprehension that literally creates chaos for shits and giggles? how adorable. he's not going to take you seriously at all, i hope you know that.

and even if you walk away, you won't exactly be alone. zalgo is always there with you, even if not physically. a part of him is stuck with you, so he's always able to watch you, to talk to you. he thinks you're being dramatic for getting upset over something that he deems to be so utterly insignificant. there won't be any form of conflict resolution with him, so don't expect any form of apology or empathy or anything of that sort.

HOBO HEART you gotta be careful with, i think. the last time he felt as if he'd been wronged by the person he loved, he tore her heart out. not to say he'd tear your heart out over a minor argument or anything like that, no, that would be pretty petty and... he doesn't really think he's a terrible enough person to do that. maybe. depending on how serious the argument is.

he'll be a little disheartened when you walk away because he would rather clear up the air and tension immediately rather than wait but he understood, somewhat, that it'd be better if you both took time to cool off before either of you tried to resolve the conflict hanging in the air.