#sorry if this was too complicated i get excited
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y-so-hungry · 3 days ago
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Joppa Stew
A commission for the lovely @the-elusive-libbin! Their commission was for 2 characters in T//he B//ad B//atch and their self-insert OC Lily! I did go over the required wordcount for what they paid lol, I just got so excited for it haha! I hope you all like it!
CW: hunger (LOTS), mild stuffing, and a couple of very embarrassed clones lol. Also this is S//tar W//ars, and I'm not SUPER familiar with it so I tried my best with the descriptions, and I'll have you know Joppa Stew IS an actual food in that universe. I did the googles its there
Hunter and Crosshair trudged into the base after a particularly long day. The mission itself had gone… fine, ish, but complications had made it go on for far longer than Hunter had anticipated. As such they hadn’t been given proper rations and well… Crosshair’s stomach has been rumbling for hours now. Not loud enough for a normal person to hear really, but he knew Crosshair was hungry. 
Hunter was hungry too, if he was honest with himself. But that was rare, so he wasn’t hungry, not the slightest bit. His stomach wasn’t even growling. Or… not loud enough for anyone to hear, which is what was most important. Technically now that they were back home at the base they could eat… but Hunter had a feeling that wouldn’t be happening. He had far too much work to do, and Crosshair himself looked bone-tired. Neither of them had the energy to cook, even if they wanted to. Needed to, with the way Crosshair’s stomach was beginning to sound. 
Hunter smiled at Lily as he entered the living area, and headed to his workspace against the wall. Inside, the base was a mix of military efficiency and scrappy improvisation. The main room was a large, cavernous space with rusted durasteel walls and exposed wiring, dimly lit by flickering overhead lights. On one side, a long, makeshift table made up Hunter’s workspace, and it was littered with datapads, empty ration wrappers, and scattered gear. On the other side was a more comfortable space, complete with a couch, coffee table, and Lily herself. 
 She was sitting on the couch there, a drawing pad in her lap, and when she looked up she blew a strand of grey hair out of her eyes as she waved at them. Crosshair was silent as usual, but waved back, then flopped down on the couch next to her, laying down so his legs hung over the armrest and his head was right next to her legs. 
“Good mission?” she asked cheerfully. 
“Mhm,” Crosshair grunted. 
“You two were gone a long time.”
“Mhm.”
“Did you get the bad guys?”
“Mhm.”
“Did you have fun?”
“Mmmm… mm-mm,” Crosshair said with a slight shake of his head.
“No? I’m sorry,” Lily said, running her hand through his short cropped hair. “Well you’re home now, you can relax.” Crosshair grunted a laugh. 
“Knowin’ Hunter he’s just gonna keep working. Reports ‘n mission logs, all that,” he said, cracking open an eye to look at Hunter. Hunter looked back at Crosshair with a tired smile. 
“Someone’s gotta do it,” he said. “You rest.”
Crosshair laughed. “You know him,” he muttered to Lily, though Hunter could still hear. “Always gotta be a big damn hero.”
Crosshair fell silent after that, except for the hungry rumbling in his stomach that Hunter could still hear. It didn’t seem to be quite loud enough for anyone else to yet though, and neither was Hunter’s stomach yet, despite how hungry he was. 
That’s how it went for about an hour. Crosshair dozing on the couch, Lily drawing next to him, Hunter working on mission logs and reports. The hum of a nearby generator provided a low, constant background noise, blending with the occasional drip of water from the cavernous ceiling. That, and of course all the while he can hear his and Crosshair’s stomach giving soft, hungry little gurgles. Every once in a while he felt his stomach clench particularly hard and he’d hold his breath, desperately trying to hide his hunger, and hoping his stomach wouldn’t rumble too loud. He tried to concentrate, but his mind just kept drifting to food…
Warm juicy meat, steaming thick stews, dense aromatic bread, visions of these filled Hunter’s head as he tried to work, and made his mouth water. His stomach clenched, shifting and gurgling with hunger as the images worked into his mind outside his will. It all looked so good, so filling. He took a few drinks of water, hoping it would keep his stomach quiet, but it only made his hunger sharper. 
But as it turns out, he didn’t exactly need to worry about his stomach deciding to make itself known, as a loud, desperate rumbling noise came from behind him. 
Crosshair grimaced as his stomach gave a plaintive growl, his face turning red. His eyes were already closed but he somehow wished he could close them more, like it would help with the embarrassment. 
“Crosshair?” Lily’s voice came from above him. “Are you hungry?”
“Mm-mm,” Crosshair said immediately, shaking his head again. Maybe she would think it’s just a noise from the base. Usually the walls settling didn’t sound like a stomach, but she might believe it if–
Grooooooowwwwwlll
…If his stomach didn’t decide to do it again. 
“It’s no use lying, Crosshair,” Hunter said. “I’ve been listening to your stomach rumbling for hours anyways. You’re starved.”
“Oh and you’re doing so much better, are you?” Crosshair snapped, looking up at Hunter. Hunter opened his mouth to speak, but it seems his stomach decided to fill in for him, as it too gave a starved rumble, forcing him to place a hand on his belly. He grimaced as well, and if it weren’t for his slightly darker skin then he would be just as red as Crosshair was now. 
“Hours??” Lily asked, looking down at Crosshair in surprise. Crosshair laid a hand protectively over his middle and spoke, not meeting her eyes. If he had though, he would’ve seen what Hunter did, which was a small blush coloring her cheeks, and a sparkle of interest in her eyes. 
“We didn’t have enough rations for this mission, it took longer than we thought,” Crosshair said. “They only give us so many for each mission, so… we ran out.”
Lily’s eyes followed as she heard Crosshair’s stomach rumble again, and he rubbed his hand over it. He could feel the vibration under his hand, his stomach was really begging now…
��When was the last time you ate?” she asked, looking up at Hunter this time. Again, that spark of interest was in her eye, but Hunter couldn’t tell if it was concern or… something else.
“Lily really, don’t worry, it’s not–” Hunter’s stomach cut him off with a deep groan, and his flush got deeper. “...Yesterday. At lunch, that was when the ration packs ran out.”
Lily’s blush deepened as her eyes immediately jumped to his belly, and it confirmed Hunter’s suspicions. She was enjoying this. She did seem concerned, a bit, but there was some part of her that seemed to enjoy their hunger. He smirked a little, and watched as her eyes grew a little wider when he placed his hand on his stomach, and started rubbing it. 
“Wow, you must be starving,” Lily said, her eyes still trained on Hunter’s stomach. Crosshair pulled a face however, and shook his head again. 
“It’s really not bad, I’m not that hungry,” he said. His stomach gave a low moan however, rumbling out its displeasure plainly. He sighed and punched a fist into his stomach, swearing under his breath. 
“Well don’t do that!” Lily exclaimed, and she quickly pulled Crosshair’s arm away and put her hand on his belly, giving it soft, gentle rubs. She could feel his stomach growling under her hand, starved rumbles making his way through his abdomen even though not all of them were audible. He felt just as hungry as he sounded, and her face flushed even harder as she stared at his belly. 
Crosshair himself however stared up at her in confusion, looking from his stomach to her face and back again. It felt… good, to have her rub his belly. He hated it, in a way, his stomach growling was just so embarrassing, but her rubbing his abdomen… that might not be so bad. It certainly helped with the feeling of hunger at least. It didn’t exactly ease his hunger, but the pressure felt rather nice. 
At least, until it caused a deep, starved growl to erupt from his stomach, so loud that she could surely feel it in her fingers, and he could feel it reverberate in his ribcage. He pressed his hand over hers, pushing her hand deeper into his stomach as he gave a small groan alongside his stomach. Hunter was right, there wasn’t much use in denying it anymore. She could feel it just as much as he could. 
“I’m starving,” Crosshair mumbled. 
Lily herself felt like she could barely conceal her excitement. The feeling of Crosshair’s stomach against her hand–was she gonna pass out? Fainting from hunger that’s not even her own, how silly that would be! How red was her face? It felt like it was on fire. She was going to combust, right here on the couch. Maybe the smell of the smoke would make their bellies growl louder…
Lily shook herself and snapped back to reality, looking down at Crosshair’s belly rumbling against her hand. 
“Y-You poor things!” Lily exclaimed, putting a hand to her cheek in an attempt to get it to cool down. “I should make you something to eat! Y-You both must be too tired to make anything–I-I can make whatever you want!”
“Joppa stew,” Hunter said immediately. Crosshair and Lily looked back up at him in time to see him clutch his belly as it growled at the mention of the food. He kept his eyes on Lily though, an analytical look in them. 
“J-Joppa stew?” she asked. 
“Doesn’t that take an hour or two to make?” Crosshair spoke up. “Couldn’t we–”
“No, no I think what we really need is some Joppa stew,” Hunter said, giving Crosshair a look. Crosshair frowned at him, but nodded. 
“Yeah, uh, actually that does sound pretty good right about now Lily,” he says. His stomach rumbles again, clearly disagreeing and definitely wanting something at more of the NOW time, but Lily jumped up anyways. 
“I-I’ll go get started!” she said, and she scurried into the kitchen area. Crosshair swung his legs off the armrest and sat up, glaring at Hunter. 
“What the hell? I’m damn near starving over here and you go and tell her to make something that will take until midnight to get done?” he says. His middle gives another growl and he gives it another punch, snapping at it under his breath as his face turns a brighter red. 
“She told ya not to do that,” Hunter said, gesturing at the fist in Crosshair’s stomach. “And if you hadn’t noticed,” he said, leaning down to speak in a lower tone to him, “our Lily seems to be enjoying this.”
Crosshair frowns and looks up at him. 
“Enjoying what?”
“This,” Hunter says, pressing a couple fingers into his stomach and causing it to growl deeply. Crosshair’s eyes widened, but he looked at Hunter like he was crazy. 
“I–What? No, she’s not–” he looked in the direction that Lily left, then back at Hunter. “Is… is that why she put her hand…?” 
“Don’t act like you didn’t enjoy that too,” Hunter said with a laugh. “I saw your face. You liked that just as much as she did.” He gave Crosshair’s belly a poke, earning a distressed gurgle in return. “Who knew the tough guy here liked belly rubs?”
“Shut–I do not!” Crosshair snapped, but his face turned a brighter red than it had all day. Another growl erupted from his abdomen at that moment, and he quickly clutched his middle and stood up. “I’m going to the kitchen.”
Hunter laughed and followed him in. 
The kitchen corner of the base was a modest but functional setup, tucked away in an alcove near the common area. It had clearly been pieced together from salvaged parts and repurposed equipment. The centerpiece was a battered but sturdy cooking unit, its surface blackened from years of use. The controls were a mix of original knobs and makeshift replacements—some patched with tape, others replaced with scavenged components from droid panels.
A few shelves lined the walls. They were stocked with an eclectic mix of supplies: ration packs, jars of pickled alien fruits, vacuum-sealed grains, and an assortment of spices in mismatched containers. Hanging from hooks along the wall were an array of cooking utensils, from long-handled ladles to a thin knife for precision cutting.
A small, round dining table sat nearby, its surface scratched but clean, surrounded by mismatched chairs scavenged from across the galaxy. The air carried a permanent medley of scents—burnt spices, roasted meat, and old ration packs.
Just the faint smell of food was enough to make Hunter and Crosshair’s stomachs growl loudly, reverberating around the kitchen. Both raised a hand to rub at their bellies, not that it helped much. Hunter actually knew for a fact that it only made a person hungrier, rubbing their stomach. He’d spent plenty of time nursing a starved middle when he wasn’t given enough rations for a mission, like on this one. 
Lily looked up from her spot at the counter at the sound of their hunger, and she grinned widely. “I’m almost done cutting up the vegetables for the stew! And I’ll get to work on cooking the meat soon–You guys are going to love it, it’ll taste so much better than those dry ration packs. No ‘nutritional cubes’ in this, this is real food!”
Hunter’s stomach moaned desperately at this, and by this point he’d learned not to take his hand away from his middle. Not only did it help just for rubbing it, but Lily seemed to be particularly entranced when he did so. He pressed his fingers into his belly, causing the growl to be drawn out for longer, crying out so desperately for food. 
“Damn, you really are hungry, huh Hunter?” Crosshair teased. He was sitting at a stool by the counter, directly across from where Lily was cutting up the food. Hunter sighed and sat next to him. 
“Starved,” he said, unwilling to deny or avoid it any longer. “My stomach’s been growling non-stop all day. Even last night, when I was trying to sleep. I’m surprised it didn’t wake up Crosshair in the middle of the night with how loud it was.”
“It was loud?” Lily asked, dumping the vegetables in a pot of water. Hunter smiled. 
“Not as loud as it is now, but it was rumbling so much it felt like my stomach was shaking,” he said. “I bet if you touched it now, you’d feel it shaking.”
Lily nearly dropped her cutting board trying to set it down, squeaking a little in surprise. 
“I-If I touched it!?” she squeaked. “O-Oh my–you–I–um–”
“You know I think you’re right, Hunter,” Crosshair said, laughing a little. “I think she does like this! You like this don’t you?”
“Wh–I don’t know what you’re talking about!!” Lily stammered, and she quickly turned back to the pot on the stove and stirred the broth, letting steam fill the air. The smell caused Crosshair’s belly to growl deeply, making him press his fist into it rather hard. He seems to have compromised punching his stomach with simply being rough with it. Still, Lily didn’t seem to think that was enough. 
“I-I told you to stop that!” she said, her voice somehow still nervous but stern at the same time. Crosshair rolled his eyes at her. 
“If you want someone to be gentle with it, you’re gonna have to find a gentle person to do that instead, I’m too hungry to be patient with it right now!” he snapped. Hunter raised an eyebrow. 
“Crosshair, you can just tell her what you want, you know,” Hunter said. “She clearly likes rubbing your stomach already, I’m sure she wouldn’t mind doing it again.”
Both Crosshair and Lily went so red in their faces Hunter was sure they’d both combust into fire right in the kitchen. 
“WHAT–No, no I do not need any more–I’m perfectly fine!” Crosshair stammered quickly, but his stomach gave another desperate growl at that moment, so loud that it echoed around the room. In that moment Crosshair sighed and rubbed his brow, still red in the face but also still unwilling to admit what he wanted. Hunter laughed and addressed Lily. 
“He did like what you did back there. He won’t admit it, but if you rubbed his belly after you were done with the food, I’m sure he’d be happier than ever. Or, as happy as Crosshair can get,” Hunter said, nudging his friend in the shoulder. Crosshair looked at Hunter with a glare, as he so often did, but his eyes softened when they fell on Lily. 
He shrugged, as if to say “he’s not wrong.”
And Lily grinned widely, her face still flushed, and started again on their food. They teased each other over how loud their stomachs were beginning to be as the cooking process went on, Crosshair and Hunter both swallowing hard as their mouths watered, desperate growls filling in any space not occupied by words. Just when they thought it couldn’t get worse though, Lily started cooking the meat. 
The sound that their stomachs made was so loud that Hunter was certain he could feel it in the chair he was sitting on, and he was only barely keeping himself from drooling. He was so hungry, all he could think about was how desperately he wanted that food. His stomach whined and pleaded for it, growling like a starved animal in a cave. 
And when the food was finally placed in front of him… you’d think those two hadn’t eaten in days. Especially Crosshair, who’s stomach was now being rubbed by Lily, only coaxing more and more famished growls from his belly. 
“Fuck, I’m so hungry,” Crosshair moaned as he ate his stew quickly. His stomach grumbled heavily under Lily’s fingers, growling loudly even though he was eating, like it was digesting so fast he couldn’t keep up. They had second helpings. Thirds. Fourths. Crosshair himself needed a fifth, with how desperate his stomach had become from Lily’s gentle rubbing. 
By the end their bellies had swelled out so much they stuck out tight against their uniforms, gurgling happily with all the food packed inside. Hunter felt Lily reach out and give his swollen middle a soft rub, and he smiled at the quiet gurgles it emitted. Lily led them back to the couch with a smile, and she had them lay down next to her, rubbing their swollen bellies until they finally got the rest they deserved. 
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opens-up-4-nobody · 1 year ago
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The way that the sun hits leaves and clouds. I feel like I could watch the colors change forever. If I could slow down for that long.
#i keep forgetting a have a deck now. i can go outside and sit there#im doing that now. sitting in the corner of a deck full of empty chairs. staring up at a big pine tree where the sun is striking it gold#at the top. i like how thr light hits the needles. if the sky was black it would look like its on fire#theres a tree outside my bedroom window too. in the morning. after the sunrises it catches thr light and refelcts the most perfect shade#of green. the kind of green that flutters translucent like youre looking up from the bottom of a pool. the light the light its all about#the sun. everything everything is about the sun. when i start my project I'll be focused on understanding how organisms catch the light bc#its so incredible and complicated it would make my chest swell to bursting if there wasnt an empty bleeding wound in my gut. a#metaphorical wound of course. i dunno. its just difficult bc right now my mood is inflated by hormones. not even that much i think I'm#just at what shoulf be a normal level of happiness so i can be slow for a minute. but just a minute bc i kno it won't last long#sorry i cant shut the fuck up when im like this but i dunno i just feel like i havr to document these ephemeral moments before they're gone#its just difficult when you kno the world is so full of beautiful things but 95% of the time your eyes are too clouded to see it#everyone tells me i work too much but i feel like im just staring off into space being miserable 60% of the time. ive just done so much#damage over the past few years im coming into a new lab as damaged goods. ive got an albatross around my neck in thr form of data i#collected so self destructively that the idea of having anything to do with its publication makes me hate myself. everytime someone tells#me good job on collecting so so so much data it feels like they're congratulating me for breaking something within myself. like i slit my#wrists and bled out on a lab bench and theyre saying good job and theyre excited for me and i have to grin and bear it and pretend im#excited too. but im not bc ive burned everything inside me to ash. so when im elevated enough to be distracted by the clouds and trees it#feels like healing. like seeing angels. beautiful ephemeral beams of light. i wish i could slow down enough to watch them. but now thr sun#is hitting the horizon and the sky is going gradually dark and i should go inside. bc i have many things to do in the morning. so that's#what ill do. and ill try to get more thsn 6hrs of sleep but its hard when your body is vibrating over with energy#but at least i dont feel tired in the morning. something in my head must be on fire#unrelated#hm i should maybe add a tw to this#tw self injury#but its the kind thst makes u good at ur Job. its the kind ppl reward. so they don't understand when u say its destroying ur life#but im trying to get better. i say as i gear up for an insane semester lol but i do mean it
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vagueconfusion · 9 months ago
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You're getting a bass this weekend? Sick. What kind if you don't mind me asking?
It's pretty dependent on what ones are available at the store, I'd like to try to get one secondhand (some people say you feel closer to instruments you buy new? But for years I learned and played on a secondhand saxophone and loved the instrument dearly) so it depends on what's there and the price. Hopefully there's something in my price range because I'll need an amp too. I also, uh, have no clue how to play a bass, so I figure I'll start on an inexpensive-but-decent one and see how it goes from there?
I read up a bit and saw good things about some Squier Classic Vibe and Ibanez SR300 for beginners, Yamaha in general too. I'm not picky about the brand right now, I figure I'll get a more nuanced opinion as I learn and figure out what sound I want? One reason I want to go to the store is so I can try to get my hands on some to hear the sound of them, and choose from there.
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the-fearful-one · 2 years ago
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tits begone.
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harryspet · 6 months ago
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Fic or Drabble whichever you wanna do.
Dark bsf Rafe taking advantage of vulnerable pregnant reader. Maybe her parents kicked her out? Or her baby daddy left her. Or whatever u see fit.
(Sorry if that sucks I just love ur work sm 🩷)
homestead | r. cameron [p.1]
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[warnings] dark!rafe cameron x pregnant!reader, farmer!rafe, pogue!reader, implied jj x reader, kidnapping, future NONCON/DUBCON, little editing, READ AT YOUR OWN RISK 18+
word count: 3.6k
In which you reach rock bottom after JJ gets arrested and your first love returns to save the day.
main masterlist
A boy. 
You looked down at your eighteen-week ultrasound picture and smiled weekly. You and JJ were having a baby boy, and you’d found out completely by yourself. Pope had offered a million times to attend one of your appointments, practically begging a few times because he didn’t want you to go alone. You always rejected him, as the idea of going with someone else never felt right. 
The Heyward’s had already done so much for you by letting you live in their spare bedroom for, basically, your entire pregnancy. No matter how much Pope tried to tell you that they didn’t mind at all, you saw in their eyes that the last person they wanted their son to be friends with was JJ Maybank’s baby mama. You promised them you’d be able to save enough money to get your own place by the end of your pregnancy. 
So far, your day job at a retail clothing store and the late shift you worked as a waitress at The Wreck made you enough to keep you afloat. Pregnancy check-ups and ultrasounds were an expense you weren’t initially expecting and you hated that you were contemplating skipping the next few visits to save money. Besides that, appointments meant you couldn’t work and you needed all the hours you could get. 
The picture reminded you of how much hard work was left, but the feelings were bittersweet. You were so excited to meet your little boy, no matter how small he was at the moment. If JJ’s case would move a little bit faster through the system, he could be there for the big day too. Everyone in Kildare was biased against him, knowing his father too well, and you knew the system would be biased against him as well.  
You were grateful for Pope and for knowing someone else loved JJ as much as you did. JJ wasn’t hard to love, but he was a complicated person, and your relationship seemed to bring out the darkest parts of him. Pope saw his dark side, but …he wasn’t there the night he got arrested. 
You didn’t know someone could yell so loud or be so angry. The two of you were living with his Dad, and the first few months were relatively peaceful, mostly because Luke would usually go out at night, get wasted, and crash on some other part of the island. You and JJ usually played house, taking turns making dinner for each other and sleeping together side by side. 
A week before you realized you were pregnant, Luke came around asking JJ for money that JJ “owed” him, and of course, JJ refused him. You knew he’d been saving for months to take you off the island for your birthday, and he wasn’t giving that up. The fight escalated, with both sides verbally tearing each other down. As soon as Luke mentioned JJ’s mother, there was no stopping JJ. 
The fight had already moved from the bedroom to the kitchen to the porch, and then the men wrestled in the yard. JJ would’ve killed Luke if the police hadn’t come. When he got taken away in cuffs, he was a bloody, swollen mess that you didn’t even recognize. 
It became even messier when Luke decided to press charges against his own son even though they’d both been arrested. You then decided that Luke Maybank was heartless and wouldn’t ever see what you saw in his son. 
It was the weekend, your one day off, and you’d chosen to spend most of it walking to the nearby department store after your trip to the clinic. The Heyward’s wanted to spend the day out on the water but rides on the boat were starting to make you extremely sick. Besides that, you hated fishing and It was one of the hotter days of summer but you’d chosen a lightweight t-shirt dress. Well, dresses were starting to be the only thing that you fit correctly with your growing stomach. 
You tucked the picture you were holding into your purse as you made your way inside. For the past month, you’d been working up the courage to go down the baby aisles. Yet another thing that felt completely wrong doing without JJ. Cara had also offered to help buy you things but you told her every time that you were waiting until you were closer to your due date. You’d hold off from nesting until you were sure that JJ wasn’t getting out. 
Slowly, you looked over every item. Cribs, diapers, breast pumps, baby formula, bottle warmers, and bibs. It was all so overwhelming and you knew getting everything would be expensive but the price tag didn’t quite register to you until now. You had no idea how you were going to pay rent one day and afford all of the things your baby needed. 
You picked up the cutest crib mobile decorated with rocket ships, stars, and planets, and your heart skipped when you realized it was over a hundred dollars. You’d have to work an entire shift to earn that. 
“Y/N?” 
You turned towards the deep voice and the mobile tumbled from your hands, “Shit,” You cursed as you went down with it, hoping you hadn’t broken it because you couldn’t afford to buy it. Rafe Cameron pushed his cart to the side and hurried to help you, “I got it,” You said quickly as you turned away, handing it back on its display. 
Then you really looked at him. The boy you’d been so obsessed with in highschool was not a boy. His light brown hair was longer than you remembered but was tamed by a baseball cap. His white t-shirt and jeans didn’t match the version of him you had in your head, but, honestly, he looked better than you remembered. 
He smiled, rubbing the stubble on his face, as he seemed to take you in. If Rafe looked ten times better, you probably looked ten times worse than you used to. You felt huge although people just started taking note of your bump a couple weeks ago and your hair was messily gathered away from your face. Your dress was not name brand, in fact, you remembered buying it from the exact store you were standing in and you wore boots that used to belong to JJ now that your feet were starting to swell. 
“Hey,” He said.
You breathed out, “Hi.”
“Congratulations,” Rafe glanced at your belly and you wanted to crawl inside your own skin, “I guess?”
“Thanks,” You nodded, “It’s . . . complicated.”
The sad part about being pregnant, unmarried, with your child’s father sitting in jail was that people had no idea what to say to you. 
“How are you?” He asked after you went silent.
“I’m good,” You forced a smile, “How are you?”
“Better now that I’ve ran into you,” His smirk was the exact same as you remembered, “You shopping for the little one?”
“Browsing,” You said, “Didn’t quite realize how expensive all this stuff is.”
You looked at him for understanding before you remembered you were talking to – Kildare’s richest bad boy, “You still keep all your little friends around?”
“Yeah, we’re all a bit spread out now, though. I’m staying with the Heyward’s right now.”
You weren’t quite sure why you were exposing your life to him, but part of you wanted him to know that you were fine, that you had made the right decision choosing JJ over him, and that you were still figuring out life, but you’d be happy. 
“Oh, so it’s Pope’s baby?” The smug look on his face made you realize he was teasing you. 
“You know exactly whose baby it is, Rafe,” You shot back, your eyes rolling back.
You turned to walk away but he grabbed you by your arm, “Y/N, I’m kidding. I’m kidding. I’m sorry, Honey.”
You quickly pulled your arm away from him, folding your arms in front of your chest. You looked over his cart, seeing it was filled with miscellaneous things, but the only thing you could recognize was a massive back of dog food, “You got a dog?”
 “A few,” he said, placing his hands in his back pockets, “I use ‘em for animal herding. Wrangler, Sadie, and a few puppies.”
“Animal herding?”
“Yeah, I got this place on the mainland. I just came through to see Wheezie. I promised she could have one of the puppies before I sold the others.”
“You got a place on the mainland?” Your eyebrows raised, and you tried to keep your mouth from gaping, “Puppies?”
He nodded, laughing lightly, “Had to get my shit together after I got out of rehab and living with my Dad and Rose, it was just never good for me. Still working for him, but I’m just better on my own, you know?”
“I didn’t know you went to rehab,” You said quietly, still trying to process the information he was relaying. 
“A few times to be honest but I’ve been clean for a year,” He admitted while looking a bit closer at you, “Is there anything you need right now? I can help.”
“No, I couldn’t let you do that,” You shook your head quickly, “I’m fine.”
“You never like to accept help, do you?”
“I don’t need anything right now,” You assured him. 
“Hmm,” Rafe huffed, “Can I at least give you a ride, Y/N?”
“How do you know I don’t have one?” 
He gave you a knowing look that made you want to punch him. He was new and improved Rafe, but he was still an asshole, “Well, I also came to look for a new living room rug, and I could use a woman’s perspective. Help me, and I’ll give you a ride back to the Heyward’s.” 
“Whatever,” You shrugged before you began walking, “Fine.”
In his eyes, you could tell he thought he’d won. 
This was so wrong. So, so wrong. JJ would kill you. JJ would kill him. This wasn’t high school anymore, and you weren’t the insecure girl vying for the rich bad boy’s attention. Besides that, you’d always been an option for Rafe. JJ always chose you despite where you came from; now you might have a real chance of having a family. 
You blamed the way your body heated up when he spoke your name on your racing hormones and on the fact that you’d been separated from JJ for months. 
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Rafe said he only came to main island to visit Wheezie, but as the weeks passed, you realized he’d found a new reason to visit. At least two times a week, he came in to the Wreck to order food and talk to you. Not only that, he practically texted you daily checking in on you. 
“Why the sudden change?” You asked him one night when closing time was closely approaching and you’d served all your tables, “I mean, I know you hated JJ but I didn’t think it would get in the way of, you know, us.”
“It’s my biggest regret after getting to know you again,” He admitted and the look in his eyes made your heart sink, “But I didn’t really know what I was doing when I was younger. I was so stupid, all I cared about was getting my Dad’s approval and I spiraled when that inevitably didn’t happen.” 
He had a way of making you question all of your own decisions. 
“Ward definitely wouldn’t approve of me now.”
“I told you I don’t care what he thinks.”
“Or what the entirety of Figure 8 will think?”
“Not at all,” He said.
“I care what my friends think.”
“You’re different than them now,” Rafe reached across the table to grab ahold of your hand as his blue eyes stared deeply into your eyes, “You have a great responsibility on your shoulders now. You have to do what’s best for you and the baby. That’s it, fuck what they think.”
“They do want the best for me,” You whispered, tears stinging your eyes.
“They want JJ for you. And he’s sitting in jail right now.”
You pulled your hand away, looking out the onto the dock and dark water. 
“You don’t even know how you should be treated,” Rafe said mostly to himself.
“What does that mean?”
“It means–” He stopped himself, but his skin was flushed with red and you sensed he was calming himself down, “I just think you deserve better.”
“And you’re going to walk into my life after all these years and save me? I can do this by myself.”
“You shouldn’t have to,” Rafe leaned in, “JJ’s going to get out but things aren’t going to get better.”
“Why would you say that?”
“It’s true, he’s a fuckup. He won’t get a good job and there’s a good chance he’ll go right back,” That tipped you over the edge and your chair scraped loudy on the ground as you stood up, ‘“I’m sorry. Look, I’m sorry. I can drive you home.”
“Pope is coming to get me.”
You didn’t spare him a second look as you walked to the back of the kitchen. Until now, he’d refrained from putting all the weight of his judgement on you but you knew all a long he thought you were making a mistake. He’d been through a lot but he’d never struggled like you and JJ had. At the end of the day, he’d always had Ward’s money to fall back on. 
He just hated JJ and he was doing his best to get in between the two of you. 
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Two weeks later, you were standing outside the Kildare County Jail, not because you were visiting JJ but because he was being released. Luke dropped the charges against him, and they released lower offenders due to overcrowding. You watched a few reunifications and waited on a cold bench in the lobby; blue hydrangeas in a small bouquet sat neatly in your lap. Your dress was also blue and printed with daisies. He had no idea the two of you were having a boy, and it was your sweet idea of telling him. 
You’d blocked Rafe’s number just that morning after ignoring his messages and calls. He was wrong. Even if he was calling to tell you that, you didn’t want to hear it. They never specified how long it would take to process him but you started to doze off after waiting for two hours. An officer in beige uniform tapped your shoulder lightly to wake you.
You were still hopeful and you expected to see JJ right behind him, “Hello, ma’am. Unfortunately JJ Maybank cannot be released today.”
“What?” Your eyes widened, “Uhm, why?”
“I was informed that additional charges have been filed against him.”
“What do you mean additional charges?” You asked, concern raising in your tone, “Who can I talk to?”
You when through every channel of communication possible, searching for answers. They couldn’t possibly expect you to leave like nothing happened. You found out from another officer, after heavy begging, that they filed another battery charge against him involving another inmate. Somehow, in the two days that he knew he was getting out he managed to catch another charge. 
“Could I at least visit him?” You’d asked and they told you he was in a segregated unit now and not allowed visits. 
You felt your heart physically break. When it fully started to sink in, you left to get fresh air. You walked for a long while until you started to panic. You sat down on the edge of the sidewalk and through teary eyes you tried to search for Pope’s number. What would you do now? Go back to the Heywards and continue to accept their charity? You were kidding yourself thinking you could do this alone. 
It felt like a rejection. You’d never had a real family. JJ knew that and yet he’d left you all alone again. 
You let your phone fall to the side, deciding you wanted to be miserable by yourself and you didn’t want to burden his family any longer. You threw the flowers into the street before your head fell in your hands and you finally let yourself cry for the first time since JJ had gone away. 
The bouquet you’d carefully put together lay discarded in the street and you had no care about the mud that was probably staining your dress now. Just as your chest started to tighten unbearably, you heard the low rumble of car engine and a shadow seemed to drape itself over you. You heard someone calling you, telling you to breathe, but your body wouldn’t obey the instructions. 
Your baby needs you to take a breath, you told yourself but the thought of your baby only made your guilt worsen, “I’ve got you,” You heard that familiar voice say. Being in his arms was far from familiar but your body didnt protest when it felt itself lifted in the air and placed on soft leather. 
The next time you looked up, you felt the car moving, and you saw the sun setting through the window. You felt a hand on your thigh rubbing soothing circles but you felt more paralyze than anything, “Try to take deep breaths,”  You heard him say but your body wasn’t yours to control, “Everything’s gonna be okay now. I’m going to take care of the two of you.” 
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You were not in the squeaky twin bed at the Heyward’s house when your eyes peeled open the next morning and you realized that quickly. You saw wooden beams overhead and walls painted a soft cream color. You turned your head to see sunlight coming through lace-curtained windows. As fast as you could move with the extra weight, you pushed the comforter off of you and moved over to the window. It offered a view of rolling fields and distant trees, the greenery stretching as far as your eyes could see.
Looking back around the room, you saw a sturdy, antique bed with wooden nightstands on either side. A handmade quilt with vibrant patches of red and blue sat on top of the bed. Plush pillows piled at the head of the bed. On top of one nightstand was a well-worn book and a framed photo of younger Rafe with a blonde woman beside him. 
On the other nightstand was a vase of freshly picked wildflowers. You remembered your blue hydrangeas, and yesterday’s events came flooding back to you, “Fuck,” You cursed, and your eyes found the bedroom door. Before thinking about walking towards the door, you caught a glimpse of yourself in the large mirror, sitting on top of a wooden dresser. You were dressed in a white silk pajama top and bottoms, a tiny sliver of your belly poked out the bottom of the shirt, but otherwise, they fit you perfectly. All you could do was curse, “Fuck, fuck, fuck.”
You moved quickly towards the door, but it opened before you grabbed the handle. You covered your mouth as a shriek left your lips.
Despite your startled appearance, Rafe appeared calm. His hair looked like it had just woken him up, and he wore a simple T-shirt and gym shorts. He closed the door behind him, acting as another barrier to your escape, “What the fuck, Rafe?”
He shushed you, “You need to stay calm,” He warned you, “There’s no point in getting riled up.”
“I was having a panic attack and . . . and you–”
“You needed to get away,” He raised his hands as if to show he wouldn’t cause you harm, “I took you home with me.”
“You took me home with you?” You spoke back to him, “I have a home. Why didn’t you take me back to the Heyward’s?”
“That’s not your home, Honey, and you know that.” 
You shook your head, “You don’t get to decide that. Where’s my phone?”
“It’s wherever you left it,” Rafe shrugged, “You know, when you were having a panic attack on the side of the road. Alone and pregnant with absolutely no one looking out for you. Imagine if it wasn’t me who found you.” 
Rafe looked annoyed like it was you who was crazy in this scenario. You tried to ignore the thought of him undressing you and putting you in these new clothes. The idea of that became harder as you watched his eyes trail from your feet, higher and higher, “Jesus Christ, you don’t even know how precious you are,” He came closer until you were stumbling back onto the bed, “I want you to stay here with me.”
“And if I don’t want the same?” You looked up at him. 
“I’ll let you think it over. Give it some time,” He nodded to himself, “Are you hungry?”
You didn’t answer, only stared back, “I’ll make you something. I’ll be right back.”
He turned on his heel, and as you realized what he was doing, you hurried after him. He closed the door, and as you furiously turned the knob, you realized he’d locked it, “Rafe!” You screamed as you pounded on the door, “Rafe, please don’t do this!”
You felt your tough exterior melt away. This was serious. He was completely serious about keeping you here. 
You rushed over to the windows next, throwing open the curtains, and found that they didn’t budge even as you pushed at them. You kept yourself from another panic attack, knowing that Pope would be looking for you right now. You never told him about Rafe … you were so concerned about him judging you that you next rold him. But if someone found your phone, they would know … but you had no idea what really happened to it.
As you started to pace, you suddenly felt a fluttering sensation. You stopped as you felt a tiny kick inside of you, an unmistakable movement that echoed throughout your whole body. Gently, you caressed your stomach. “I hear you,” you said through heavy breaths as your eyes moved around the room. It’s okay. I’ll figure this out. Don’t worry.”
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Please let me know what your thoughts and predictions are! Reblog with a comment to be added to my taglist!
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cursedcola · 16 days ago
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Prompt: Couples will evidently begin to mimic their better half after some time. What traits do you steal from him, and vice versa? Fandom: Twisted Wonderland Characters: Everyone - because I want to and I’m amidst fleshing out all my Yuu/Character dynamics + designs Format: Headcannons. Masterlist: LinkedUP Parts: Heartslabyul | Savanaclaw | Octavinelle | Scarabia (Here) | Pomefiore | Ignihyde | Diasomnia A/N: I'm part of the 'everyone underestimates Kalim Al Asim , the layers of his character and upbringing' club. Sweet does not equal being a dum dum my dudes.
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Habits You Steal:
Theatrics (Inherited): Kalim talks with more than his mouth. There's body language. Watch out when this guy gets excited because he might knock over a lamp amidst a rant. Hands are flying with each embellishment. He's pacing. Jumping. Energy is seemingly endless with this one. When Kalim laughs, he does so with his entire body without reservation. Head flying back, grin wide, shoulder shaking, etc. Not that he can't replace what gets broken but - y'know. Be careful else you might get bitch slapped on accident. Which normally wouldn't hurt too much but Kalim's decked out in gold. The last thing you want is a ring imprint on your left cheek because Kalim got too excited after a card game. On that note - someone get Jamil some aspirin because that excitement is infectious. You can be the most stone-hearted edge-lord on the face of Twisted Wonderland, but eventually his infectious sunshine attitude takes hold.
"A-Ah! It's okay! We can replace the lamp, so don't worry. Are you hurt? No, no. It's really aright. I'm fine, see? You missed me - can I see your hands for a second? OIII! Can someone please bring a med-kit! Thank you!" <- Jamil's already grabbing the broom before you can say sorry. This is the last time he lets you sit anywhere near fragile objects during a game of charades - or any game. Kalim was bad enough...but at least with him fretting over the tiny cut on your palm, Jamil could clean the mess in peace. At least until you offer to pay for the lamp. Kalim's got enough tact to lie about the price, and everyone's thankful. No one wants to see the Ramshackle Prefect have a heart attack for shattering a real crystal lamp. 'cause then Kalim will cry too and it'll just be dominos from there.
Personal Space (Inherited): Kalim tears away any sense of dignity, self-preservation, and privacy that might exist. In a good way, of course. It's not that Kalim is an open person. Quite the contrary. He needs to keep a calculated distance between himself and others due to his position as an Asim. Regardless of his happy exterior, never forget that Kalim is far from an airhead. Kindness doesn't equate connection - as much as Kalim would love for everyone to be his friend. Yet for those who are in that trusted circle? He treats them like an extension of the self. His lack of shame bleeds into your own perception.
Training and Resistance (Inherited and Developed): Kalim hates that you need to do this. He rarely 'hates' anything, but he despises that you need to worry about being poisoned. What’s worse is that you refuse to have a tester, or a guard, or anything of the sort. It all started with discussing the future with Jamil, who logically brought up the complications that come with Kalim taking a partner. You couldn’t be shadowed, were in a difficult position with the headmaster, and it would only become difficult once the duo moves back to the scalding sands. Even more once you join them (as NRC is merely teaming with prideful youths, while the Scalding Sands is a free for all).
Point summary? You need to build resistance to drugs and learn what to do in a hostage situation. The former is handled by Professor Crewel, and the process was explained in excruciating detail. Jamil, who’s undergone training, was unphased but Kalim desperately wanted you to back out. Yet it would mean needing a guard - which would be hard to arrange - and so…yeah. Many weekends in the nurse’s office. You also have to complete the hostage drills all Asims and their spouses are put through. How to escape bondage, how to last an interrogation, how to navigate without magic (which you could, duh, so basically without a map when stranded), negotiate, etc.
"Are you absolutely certain that this is what you want to do? I can still hire a body guard - there are many options available back home! You can spend our next vacation at the main villa and meet with them. We can - oh. y-you're sure?... alright. If this is what you want then I'll be there through every step. Just remember to ask if you need anything. I'll come running, no matter what."
Charisma (Inherited): Everyone underestimates just how dangerous Kalim is. Seriously. Nothing is more risky in a school like Night Raven College than dropping your guard. It can cost you your life - or at the very least leave you indebted to someone you do not want having dirt over your head (*cough*ACertianCephalopod*cough*)The gossip grapevine is a menace. Everyone has their pride. Everyone has their secrets. Everyone holds each other at arm’s length, even if you’re cordial or friendly. Everyone except Kalim, who has this innate ability to pry the most dirty secrets out of you simply through his nonchalant attitude. Nothing drops another’s guard quicker than a sense of security and superiority. People often mistake his genuine heart for nativity. They fail to recognize that it’s a choice, and deep down he is aware that the Al Asim name places him high above the people he sees as friends.
"Hm? Isn't that the alchemic lab on potionomics meant for second years? You're so smart! I didn't get to do that lab until just a few months ago! - it's not yours? Then why are you working on it?" <- game. set. match. You think he doesn't know what your handwriting looks like? He saw you lingering outside Crewel's classroom earlier and wanted to know why. Saw an opening. Took it. Is happy you’re helping out one of your other friends, but just had to make sure no one was bullying you into doing their work.
Since he truly believes that despite this gap, friendships can transcend - his ability to get information is uncanny. A power he can wield intentionally if need be, in getting you to name drop any person or problem posed. It’s a great quality to have! This way he can help and support you :) Why is this an inherited trait, you might be asking? Because as the next head of Al Asim, Kalim’s been studying how to do business since he was young. He’s going to teach you. Pray tell what is born once the Ramshackle Beast Tamer learns the ways of Scarabia’s master of charisma and resident sunshine child?…Night Raven’s downfall. Power couple. Dead serious right now.
Jewelry (Developed): Worth your weight in gold takes a new meaning. This isn’t in reference to being spoiled, mind you. This is about status and the meaning behind the jewels Kalim is imparting. The cultural significance. Considering that you’re not from twisted wonderland, you technically are a blank slate to all countries. Who better to learn from than someone who’s spent his childhood studying to become an expert in international trade? Kalim has enough tact to bite his tongue about the deep meaning behind the gifts. You may not understand just yet, but his excitement can’t be contained. Each bangle and piece from the family treasury has a small story. While he has no problem using his wealth to help people who need it, there’s a joy that comes from decorating his treasure’ in treasure. Y’know?
"Do you like it? This necklace was my mother's at our age. My father gifted it to her during a business trip to the Queendom of Roses. Ah - you can have it! Really! She has many others, and when I told her about you this was what she chose to have sent over. It's already yours! You can wear it to the next banquet, please?" <- Being the next head of House Asim, Kalim can't be with just anyone. Yet he seemed so happy in his letters, and Jamil vouched on your behalf - so this is your time to shine. Also, sending the necklace back would be like slighting his family's good will. You quite literally need to accept it.
Music (Inherited): Can you play an instrument? Sing? It starts out as wanting to be near him more - so you join the pop music club. Kalim, Cater, and Lilia are very convincing. So they push you to pick up something. Anything. It doesn't matter what, so long as you have fun with them. Even in the earliest stages where the notes come grated and your friends (Grim) make fun - Kalim is supportive without fault. His encouragement leads to proficiency and an appreciation for music. He'd love if you sing with him. Even if it's just a lullaby - no, especially so.
Habits He Steals:
Naming inanimate objects (Inherited): Your effort at making Kalim more money-conscious. The decite of sentimental attachment, if you will. It’s honestly a risky move to make considering the sheer amount of things that he owns, so naming everything is off the table. Yet it’s the silly things. Like seeing a face in the paintwork on one of his tapestries, and then deciding to dub it Artie. Oh no, Kalim we don’t need to get new artwork for the bathroom! What about Artie? It’s already pretty enough so lets just leave him there. No - no, that ring’s super pretty but the matching set from our anniversary is enough. We wouldn’t want Garnet and Pearl to think we were replacing them, right?
"I think Vinnie would work best on display, don't you? Purple and yellow are sure to catch people's attention from far away! Or maybe should we hang up Paolo? There are so many tapestries in Scarabia’s vault, I feel guilty only putting one up on display at our festival stall. Do you think they’d let us hang more?”<- It works. Kalim defiantly thinks twice. He's a bit like a kid refusing to give up their action figures after watching Toy Story, ya feel me?
Cooking (Inherited): Kalim is learning how to cook for himself as one step to being more self-sufficient. He only eats food that Jamil prepares, but with Viper’s seal of approval you’ve earned a pass. Essentially anything you both make with pre-approved ingredients is fair game. You pick a recipe every week, give Jamil the grocery list, and he makes sure to have the stuff in the dorm. Jamil is only okay with this so long as you supervise. Teaching Kalim is on your shoulders - and in all honesty? It’s an amazing bonding experience. Jamil can rest easy for a few hours and Kalim isn’t being thrown straight into the deep end. Obviously it’s only a small reprieve, and temporary since back at the Scalding Sands there are regulations in place. Kalim loves wearing matching aprons, humming little tunes while reading recipe books, watching cooking videos, learning about all the nutritional benefits in food, and really gets an appreciation after seeing how much work goes into his favorite dishes. There’s also that spark of joy when you sit down to eat, and it’s somehow one-hundred times better than eating with his family back home. Not that Kailm doesn’t love his siblings, but family really takes a new meaning when you see it coming together right before your eyes.
"Mph th-ish is sho gud! - how do you like it? Should we invite our friends to try some? It tastes almost like Jamil's! I bet if we keep at it, then we can cook up a banquet all on our own. That'll surely put everyone in a good mood!"
Skinship (Developed): Kalim is the type to initiate touch. Not receive it. If you look at his interactions with the others, he’s always the one throwing himself at them or being a vibrant glow-stick. Very few people give that back - and in truth? Like, honest to Seven truth? Kalim’s got no problem with it. Many people have bad intentions. Not everyone wants to be his friend, and that’s fine. They come to him looking to get in his good graces. It’s unnecessary…he’ll happily help without them twisting his feelings. All they need to do is ask. Do you know how easy it is for someone to prick him with a drugged needle? He’s not comfortable with physical contact that he does not initiate, unless it’s from someone he trusts. Like Jamil, Silver, Cater, his siblings, etc. Even they have a limit (which he’s confident will never be crossed, since again, Kalim is almost always the initiator). This list is subject to change…what, you think a family of 30+ kids can exist without animosity? He dreads the day he has to think of one of his little siblings becoming untrustworthy.
Anyways. Trust is a choice for Kalim. His happiness and extroverted optimism is all a choice. Sometimes on an unconscious level (*cough* his awareness of the divide between himself and Jamil, yet pushing the knowledge down until it inevitably hurt them both *cough*). So imagine reaching the point where he trusts you. It could be something small, like the first time you hug him from behind or lace your fingers together. Intimate. Not like Cater’s half sling over the shoulder, not like his little siblings hanging on his legs, or Jamil pushing him ahead while they walk. When he’s not initiating, and Kalim might hesitate for a moment. Hard to picture, I know, but by letting it be he’s choosing to trust you wholeheartedly. All in the span of like 5 seconds, and he might not even realize it until later on. Those of us who shine the brightest, usually have walls that are hard to see. Just some food for thought.
"Really? Really, really?? Really, really really??? Really - Ah! Sorry, I just can't believe it! There's so much I still don't know about them...but they're paying attention to me, huh? That's it! I need to work harder to be a worthy boyfriend! Starting right now, I'll become a better man!" <- Kalim. Sweetie. No. You're already the brightest boy. Your dormmates only brought the prefect's changes up to make you happy! I mean - mission successful? The goal was to motivate him and they technically succeeded. Just not for studying. He's 100% fired up with enough energy to run laps around the dorm now. He doesn't know what to do first, should he get Cater to help make you a playlist? Or have some flowers sent over? Would you prefer red roses or a mix of violets with chrysanthemums. Wait. Grim's 'technically' a cat, right? He should make sure not to send anything harmful to kitties. Maybe some tuna for him with chocolates for you? But this gift should be something you can keep. Ohhhh he is vibrating from excitement. He needs to show how much he loves you. Your attention and care truly means the world to him.
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Habits You Steal:
Bug Spray (Developed): Jamil can and will throw you under the bus when faced with insects. Big hit to his pride, not his best moments, but he is NOT dealing with the absolute infestation at Ramshackle. You are spraying that place with heavy duty RAID if you want him over longer than ten seconds. If he so much as catches a GLIMPSE of a roach - nah. Just nah. He will shove that dustpan in your hands and send you to war. Don’t call him until it’s dead, the carcass has been disposed of, and you’ve wiped down. Grim’s a cat. Teach his ass to hunt. He needs to pay rent. You think he’s letting the flame-ball follow to the Scalding Sands after NRC? Jamil wants him on hinting duty for scarabs or else it’s time to prep hobo box.
“Burn it….Did you not hear me? I said. Burn. It. Better yet? Burn this whole damn building!” <-First night he decides to let Kalim handle Scarabia and humor you with a sleepover - and a giant spider decided to invade the shower. We’re talking big spider, maybe pregnant. Please keep in mind that during the VDC prep, Vil had Ramshackle deep cleaned. So the worst Jamil saw was a few ants. Now, the science club does meet in the Ramshackle garden often since you’ve cleaned it up, and Trey may grow plants that make the place insect central. Jamil was unaware of this. The gut wrenching scream that echoed through every room in the house. You’d think one of the ghosts pulled a cruel prank - but no. You didn’t even get a moment to investigate. The bathroom door flew open, Jamil running out still wet and drenching his pajamas. The death glare and spew of curses was the most genuine you’d ever seen him. Well, it could have been appreciated if not directed at you. Fix it or he will never set foot in this place ever again.
Spice Tolerance (Inherited): Not much to say here. He likes his food spicy. Sure, Jamil isn’t great with his words so his main love-language is bringing over tubbaware filled with food, and he does cater to your preferences more often than not. Except you undoubtedly will be eating what himself and Kalim eat most days. Which is packed with flavor. Grim isn’t complaining, food’s food. You? It’s funny to take a chomp out of ghost pepper like it’s a roma tomato, only for Ace to try and then start wheezing. Work them tastebuds, ya scrawny magic man. Heh.
"Can't handle the heat? Curry's a versatile dish. I could make something mild next time...you still want it? Why? Just because it's my favorite, doesn't mean you have to like it. Still not going to give it back? Alright. Lets see you clean that plate then." <- Flattered that you want to experience his favorite foods prepared to his tastes. For the record - Jamil likes it spicy spicy. Hotter than fiery vindaloo. Its an acquired taste and he really can alter the recipe if its too much. Won't unless you ask, because it's funny and oddly romantic seeing you sweat just trying to make him happy (Will hit the breaks in if you are getting sick from it. Does not play around).
Braids (Inherited): Paired with Jamil’s developed trait. Braids or hair beads - take your pick. Maybe both? Or a headscarf. His little sister - Najima, do you remember her? She’s the first Viper you get to spend time with during a trip to the Scalding Sands and gifts you either some hair beads or a headscarf as her unspoken blessing. Nothing fancy, and Jamil forced the coin in her hand for it, but she did take you through the markets while he was busy tending to other needs. It’s honestly really sweet, and Jamil will braid the beads or scarf in one of your side pieces of hair every morning (or wrap the scarf around your head. Not fancy like Kalim’s but still a knot he ‘insists’ will look better if he does it since you’re inexperienced. He could teach you. He won’t.)
Silence (Inherited): Shit just does not phase you anymore. Ever heard of the inability to keep calm until there's someone more panicked nearby? Jamil embodies this, being surrounded by emotive people all the time, and his perpetual state of indifference physically does not allow you to feel unsettled. If Jamil isn't bothered, then neither are you. It's that simple. Resting bitch face is contagious. Jamil's ability to handle Kalim comes in handy for raising Grim. You can now ignore his baby face and daily begging for premium tuna. Little kitty needs to expand his arsenal of tricks, because your will is stone.
"Bad day? Grab a cup. The dorm's usually quiet for the next hour. I'll be there in a moment." <- Queen never cry. If anything actually does phase either one of you, it normally ends the same way. Plopped on the floor of his bedroom, sipping hot tea and staring at the wall in comfortable silence while stewing in mutual suffering. Eventually you give him one of those starry sky projectors, and y'all ill stare at that instead. If it's a problem that has a tangible solution then it gets solved. Easy. This is for the 'yeah, life sucks' moments where all you can do is let it be before getting back up again. At least you have each other.
Habits He Steals:
Braids (Developed): Jamil can easily do his own hair. A flick of the wrist and it magically braids itself. Ebony locks carry memories of pain, growth - and change. Small change. Yet change nonetheless, which seemed impossible years ago. There’s something very intimate that comes with fixing another person’s hair. You’re not proficient enough to handle his cornrows (or are you? To his standard? As fast as magic?) but Jamil’s fine with changing his hair style to a simple triple braid, or a braid-band using the framing pieces that can crown around his head. So long as you do it for him every morning.
Fix-It-Felix (Developed): You know that one type of dad? The one who visits your home and looks for imperfections. He comes over, puts fresh produce in the fridge, mends the nail holes in the wall and fixes that one loose board on the steps that you made a habit to avoid. Barely says two words during his visit but seemingly solves half the problems you were procrastinating? This is Jamil. 100% Jamil when he comes to Ramshackle. He needs to make himself useful. And to scold someone. Grim more often than not, but you’re not safe. He really goes ‘bitch you live like this?’ at least once a week. Then proceeds to take preventative measures like a textbook tsundere.
“I put tangerines in the fridge since winter is coming. You need to be getting enough vitamin c and - where’s Grim? Don’t let him eat them all and make sure he knows not to light the fireplace tonight. There’s some cleaner on the bricks that needs to sit for a few hours…you know what? I’ll go with you to get him. Grab your heavy coat, it looks ready to rain.”
Dancing (Developed): Jamil participates in solo-dance during his downtime. It’s not like he had a partner to do duos with. Jamil also was not interesting in cozying up to a stranger just to learn a dance he would rarely have a moment to indulge in. Kalim’s the one who mentioned this in passing to you. His intentions were pure, of course. Just as they always are. He signed you both up for a ballroom dance class as a present for officially becoming a couple! Jamil finally had a partner and time to try, so why wait?! The vice in question wanted to deny since (1) who has time for that, (2) it was off campus, would take three hours out of every weekend for a month and (3) The chance of embarrassing himself was higher than he would like. Yet Kalim is smarter than most think, and purposefully handed the gift to you. Not Jamil. Along with the excited embellishment that Jamil could now do this ‘long desired’ class that really wasn’t high on his radar.
"If it makes you happy...then I don't mind. Just try to avoid stepping on my toes. Otherwise I'll demand compensation. What do I want? Wouldn't you like to know, prefect." <- Five seconds in and he yields. You weren't going to let him out of it - no matter what excuse Jamil came up with. He'll put up with it and get back at Kalim later. The chance to spend time with you for that long is rare, and Jamil isn't the type to squander opportunities. No matter his personal feelings on the 'gift' in question.
Except Jamil finds the entire experience pleasant and hates that it’s all thanks to Kalim. Dancing with you is entirely different than dancing alone. It’s clumsy, new, and honestly tiring since he needs to lead. Especially in anything fast pace like a quickstep or to swing. It’s also three hours out of the week that Jamil isn’t maintaining his composure. Just you, him, and the instructor since Kalim splurged on private lessons. It’s liberating and Jamil wants to keep with it far beyond after the class ends. Even if it’s just slow-dancing in the common room to one of those vintage records stowed at Ramshackle. Seven, let him have this.
‘We’ instead of ‘Me’ (Inherited AND Developed): Automatically assumes that any invites are for you too. Jamil is used to thinking this way. Except the ‘we’ applied to Kalim, with Jamil as a plus one. Jamil did not want to be part of that ‘we’. Hence why he would only refer to Kalim when laying plans out. ‘Kalim has dance lessons at six, then dinner at seven, then study until 10 and then bed. Tomorrow, Kalim’s going to a banquet head by the treasure’s family and then returning to campus.’ The unspoken truth being that Jamil’s schedule matched. He followed, but was never on board with being Kalim’s ‘we’. He has always been a ‘me’ and made an active effort to preserve all his ‘me’ moments. For someone so self-aware…Jamil isn’t sure when he began to view you as his ‘we’. Only that when you auto-included him in everything…it was less strenuous than with Kalim. Far less. Easy to adapt. In the past, Jamil believed a partnership to be another chain. Perhaps being a ‘we’ was never supposed to hurt.
“Thanks for the invitation, but we’re staying in tonight…. No, not Kalim. The Prefect. What? I’m not speaking for them. If my word’s not good enough, just go ask the prefect yourself.” <- Other people might look at him and think he’s treating you like Kalim. Oh, how wrong they are.
Texting (Inherited): Jamil’s not used to someone keeping tabs on him. You’re going to see him within the hour, why does he need to call before going to wake up Kalim? Why do you need a text that he’s back in his dorm before you’re able to sleep? Why do you show up in Scarabia at one in the morning, throwing rocks at his window, if he forgets? (Jamil never forgets. He just had to reign in some rowdy first years and couldn’t catch a break. It was on his mind. Really.) It’s not the worst demand. A five minute call while he’s prepping breakfast and a few messages to know he’s going to rest are a small price to pay. Turns out a little rundown of his day before bed makes sleeping a ‘little’ bit easier. Huh.
“I don’t see it.” <- A lie spoken with the most monotone tone possible. Jamil rolls his eyes over the rim of his mug, taking a sip before turning the page in his book. Najima scoffs before returning to her magazine. She can say he’s softened up all she wants. He won’t admit to it. Doesn’t mean she’s wrong in the slightest. Jamil’s well aware that hopes and wants denied to him from birth have begun to stir within him. No matter how small the changes may be, Jamil isn’t foolish enough to give those emotions his attention. Not if he wants to keep them. Good things always escape his grasp…his wounds are too fresh to get comfortable just yet.
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quarterlifekitty · 20 days ago
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reader who doesn’t mind when the tf141 boys don’t shower cause they like the stink.
I’m sorry I’ll shut up now
Please never shut up. Say whatever you want forever.
cw: scent kink. Unsanitary. So nasty
I think Gaz has the highest standard of personal hygiene on the team (his beautiful skin doesn’t come for free), and his usual instinct is to shower. He’s the kind of person who can’t relax feeling gross. So while he loves you, man is probably gonna keep showering all the time. He does think it’s really funny when you ask if he’s showered yet and whine when he says yes.
Soap is one of those people who’s like “fuck the shower” every time he’s not in the shower but once he gets into the shower he’s like “fuck being out of the shower”. Anyways I personally believe he also has a major scent kink and he’s almost too comfortable being unwashed and sweaty, and he totally embraces you liking it. Always asking you if you wanna get a good whiff in before he showers after a workout. As long as you return the offer…
Ghost is one of those people who doesn’t shower sometimes just due to apathy, sometimes self-loathing, so he has a complicated relationship with your love of his stink. Honestly, you leaning into his side and just burying your nose in his skin like an addict is like his alarm of “I’ve taken this too far, I should probably shower”. World’s weirdest grounding technique.
Price is using that against you. You’ve given him a bargaining chip. So yeah, he’ll hold off on a shower, but you have to do something he likes in exchange…. Maybe you’ve gotta let him eat your ass (which you’re not usually a fan of) or let him have you collared in public (embarrassing).
König thinks it’s cute that you like his man smell. Honestly, any kind of fetish you have for something of his is cute to him. He just loves that there are things about him that you’re obsessed with, no matter how weird they are. God knows he’s obsessed with so many parts of you in a fetishistic way. Man is totally excited to come home unshowered, because he likes you clingy.
Nikolai views it as another avenue of devotion, of dependency. And like everything, he uses it to dominate you. It’s something that can be given in reward or withheld in punishment. He’ll call for you after he’s done a lot of work in the hanger or garage, anywhere that he’s currently practicing mechanics, and have you sit on his lap on the couch, face buried in his neck or his armpit while you give him a pussyjob. Lets you lick the sweat from his balls before he puts his cock down your throat. Who said that.
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chilumi-shipper · 1 month ago
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A prompt came into mind.. up to you if you're interested.
So, character and reader got married but character cheated because he said he doesn't love the reader anymore. They're technically done, but haven't finished doing the divorce files (because it's expensive and takes a long long time). But.. character got into an accident.. which made him forget everything that happened recently, and only remember the days he loved the reader. Reader's conflicted, the mistress that character has doesn't know what to do either. Character was confused on why he would marry anyone else when he has the reader fo begin with.
I think this fits your styles.
Btw, I LOVE ALL YOUR STORIES! I RE-READ THEM EVERYDAY-
Someone Better
Childe x Fem!Reader
Summary: Childe was a wild spirit, so when he got bored of your relationship, he sought the excitement of another woman. You were heartbroken, ultimately asking for a divorce. But just as your connection was almost severed, he got into an accident, losing every memory of his infidelity and returning to the man that made you fall in love him.
Tags: Cheating, Amnesia, Pining, Angst/No Comfort
~•~•~•~•~•~•~•~•~•~•~
You were staring at the tremendous amount of divorce paperwork sitting on the desk of your hotel room.
It was very complicated, five years of marriage with joined insurance, property, bank accounts, and now you have to meticulously separate all your joined assets, all while constantly on the verge of a breakdown.
Not to mention you had no family to stay with in Snezhnaya. There's absolutely no one you could talk to about everything, you've left your homeland thinking your future in the cold nation with the love of your life would be nothing less that fantasy.
As you rest your head on the desk and closed your eyes tightly to ease the headache, your ears perk up as loud knocks hit your door.
With a groan, you got up and opened it to reveal your two of Childe's older siblings.
"He's looking for you." The older sister said, Alevtina, her seriousness evident, looking at you somewhat panicked.
"I know, big si-" I paused for a moment, closing my eyes and rubbing my temples. "I'm working on the assets, I'll send it as soon as possible."
"No." The chilly tone of the older brother, Alexei, sent shivers down your spine. "You need to come with us."
...
"Big sister Y/N is here?" You hear Teucer's innocent voice as you enter their home. The younger children laid their eyes on you, seemingly eager to come closer, but perhaps they've been told that now would not be the time.
"Honey... Thank you for coming..." Their mother embraced you warmly, still accepting you with motherly affection. "Oh dear, I'm so sorry..."
"Mama, has he calmed down?" Alexei asked from behind you.
Your mother-in-law parts from you slightly, looking at you tenderly. "She will definitely help."
You put your confusion and questions aside, seeing the somewhat tense air within the house.
"Stop staring." You weren't looking at him, but you felt his eyes watching you set down a tray of soup and medicine on his bedside table.
Childe lets out a chuckle. "Sorry, love, I can't help it..." His eyes never faltered, containing a look of admiration that you've been unfamiliar with for so long.
"After the avalanche, I got a pretty bad head injury. When I woke up, you were the first thing on my mind. And when Mama said you weren't here with me, I freaked out."
You sat down on a chair next to his bed, your eyes observing the bandages wrapped around his head. "What did the doctor say about your injury?"
"I'm gonna get some very bad headaches, and I also got a bit of amnesia, I think." Childe looks as if he's in thought. "Do I seem like I forgot something?"
"Maybe some things..."
"But I love you just the same! So I bet what I forgot wasn't even that important!"
...How cruel.
Having to take care of the man that broke you apart, even worse, a version of him that you loved too much to despise.
~•~•~•~•~•~•~•~•~•~•~
It was painful, staying with him.
Childe would keep you close, call you his different pet names, cuddle up to you, all while you were under the pitiful gaze of his family that knew of his infidelity.
On the other hand, he's been feeling the cold responses his advances have been receiving. But to him, he thinks he can solve it by smothering you in more of his love.
He is pretty observant, he's put it two in two together that he may be missing a memory in which he had done something wrong. He just didn't know how much it had hurt.
Though, not only from you, Childe had also felt that his younger siblings seem distant as well, no longer asking him to play snow games outside, or looking up to him as some sort of hero.
One early morning, when he walks up to the kitchen to see you cooking for the whole family, a smile formed on his face.
He steps closer, wrapping his muscular arms around your waist. "Hmmm... Morning, honey..." He basks in the feeling of you.
You remain quiet, letting him do as he pleases. The ginger frowns, however, feeling unsatisfied by your lack of reaction.
"Babyyyy... Loveee meee backkkk..." He whines, nuzzling his face on your neck.
"Ajax, come on..." You stifled a laugh, moving slightly away as his action tickled you. He hears the slight giggle of your words, smiling against your skin.
You compose yourself, pushing him away from you. "Stop." He lets you push him away, and you feel him freeze slightly at the harshness of your tone.
His blue eyes looked at you worried. "...Hey," He starts. "I'm sorry, darling, did you not like that?"
With a sigh, you looked down. "When the others wake up, tell them I already made breakfast. I have somewhere to be."
You walk pass him, but you did not miss the hurt tone of the faint call of your name.
...
You come back to his family's home after doing some more paperwork for the divorce that your husband doesn't even remember, feeling your head pounding as you ready yourself to face him again.
What you don't expect to see this late at night is Childe sitting on the porch with a lantern next to him, his head hung low as if he's thinking deeply.
"Childe?"
He looks up, but he frowns at you. "Ajax, darling..." He reminds you.
Standing up, he pulls you into his warm embrace. "I love you... I missed you..."
His words take you aback, as you reluctantly wrap your arms around him.
"I've been thinking about this morning, about you. You hate me."
"I know I must've done something... you can tell me." He kneels in front of you, staring at your eyes while his sparkle with the light of the lantern. "And even if I don't remember, I'll make it right..."
As you look down at him, you see the fiery passion of love that burned in his eyes as he knelt down to ask you to marry him so long ago.
It scares you...
You might not be able to control yourself...
"It's just hard to take care of you sometimes." You smile ever so slightly, yet his frown only deepens as tears start to escape your eyes.
He stands, his hand finds its way to your cheek. "Love..." His eyes held such conviction that you've not seen for years. "I'm so sorry..."
You close your eyes to hold in the tears, shaking your head and swaying his hand away. "...You're not."
Despite the tears, you tug at his arm. "Come on, let's head inside."
He's filled with questions, but seeing your sad face makes him set all those aside and focus on you for now.
~•~•~•~•~•~•~•~•~•~•~
"Teucer, hey, little man." Childe calls for his little brother.
The little boy looks at him wide eyed. "I don't want to talk to you." He crossed his little arms, turning around to leave with a displeased look.
"What...? Oh come on..." The harbinger pouted, getting down on his little brother's level. "What did I do wrong...? All our siblings are acting so mean to me..." He whined, frowning as he tries to persuade the little ginger.
"But you were also very very mean!" Teucer refused to look at his older brother, the one he used to look up to the most. "We don't like you anymore!"
Childe's playful facade faded as his expression contorted to a confused one. "Hey, what do you mean...?"
"You're so mean to Y/N, you hurt her! She doesn't deserve tha-"
"Teucer!" Just as his brother erupted to a crying mess, screaming at him with all his little heart, their mother walked into the room, grabbing the little boy.
"Don't talk like that to your elders!"
"But it's true, Mama!"
"That doesn't matter, say sorry to-"
"What does he mean, Mama? Why did I do?" Childe looked at his mother expectantly, his voice starting to shake as he saw the fit of rage Teucer had because of him. "W-What did I do to Y/N?"
HIs mother shook her head, trying to ease her expression with a smile. "Nothing..."
"It's not nothing, Mama!" He raises his voice by accident due to his frustration. "I see it, the way she looks at me, it's different. The way you all look at me, like you have a monster inside your house."
Teucer forced his way out of his mother's hold, running to his older siblings room all teary eyed. Childe felt bad, but he desperately needed answers from his mother.
"Mama, please, I need to know why Y/N doesn't... love me anymore..." It hurts him to say, but based on the way you're acting, he could only make the assumption that your feelings have wavered.
"Oh, Ajax... it's not like that..."
The ginger then felt a sharp pain in his head, making him fall down onto the couch. He groaned as he clutched his head.
"Hey... where are you heading off to so late at night?" He hears your soft voice in a static audio playing in his head.
"Out." He then hears himself replying coldly.
"Ohh, when will you-"
He's out the door before you could even finish your question.
"Ajax, honey!' His mother's voice was a hazy blur as he keeps his eyes closed to envision what he's hearing in his head.
He tries to shake the feeling away, but his mind is flooded by fragmented memories.
"You've been going out a lot more recently." Your concerned voice entered his ears.
"I've been busy."
"Busy where?"
He then hears shatters of glass and yells as you sob while trying to talk to him.
He pictures your face, your crying, begging face, asking for some sort of salvation from his cold and merciless actions.
"T-There's someone else?"
"Someone better."
"H-How could y-you do this?"
"When I look at you now... I feel... nothing."
Childe opened his eyes, not realizing that tears had started to flow to his cheeks. "Mama..."
"Y-Yes, dear?"
"I hurt her..." He was in a state of disbelief. "I-I... Why...?"
His tears fell faster, looking at his mother for answers. "W-Why, Mama? Why was I so stupid? Why did I choose to lose her?"
"I don't know, dear, but that's simply what happened, and you could never make her forget that, even if you forgot."
His breathing started to accelerate, feeling like he wanted to punch himself. As his head started spinning, his vision turns black.
~•~•~•~•~•~•~•~•~•~•~
You took a deep breath as you walked into the house, feeling everyone's eyes on you as you entered.
"Honey..." Your ex mother-in-law embraces you once again, holding you tight. "I'm so sorry... I didn't want to make it difficult for you..."
"N-No, no..." You returned her hug, sniffling as you start to tear up. "I readied myself for this, I'm just here to drop off the final papers..."
"Could you talk to him?" Alevtina suddenly asked, looking at you hesitantly. "I know he's been a jerk... but he won't eat unless he talks to you."
You parted from their mother, feeling the pressure of their request.
"It's okay to curse him, or to scream, or rough him up, I'll even help you." Alexei placed his hand on your shoulder to comfort you.
You nodded, sighing as they guided you to his room. And as you entered with a heavy feeling in your chest, he immediately sat up, alerted by your presence. You stare at each other for a bit before you muttered a word.
"Hi." You greeted him shortly.
"Hey..." His voice was soft, and his eyes followed you attentively.
"I'm sorry to intrude, I'll make this quick." You breathe deeply, trying to relax yourself. "I finished the papers, split the assets, got the lawyers."
"I talked to her, y-your woman..." You looked down, fidgeting with your hands. Childe seemed unfazed by it, though his gaze seem to falter at the mention of 'his woman'.
"She... umm... wasn't really interested anymore after the accident..." You breathe heavily, feeling small under his gaze. "But... your family's here to take care of you..."
Clearing your throat, you continued. "I do have one request, if I could... I would like a safe boat ride back home." You stepped closer, intending to hand him the envelope that contained all the paperwork to finalize your divorce.
"Take it all." You stopped in your tracks as he spoke.
"The house, the mora, the boat. It's all yours..." He lays back on his bed, staring at the ceiling. "Would you also do me a favor?"
You looked at him, encouraging him to speak.
"Carve my heart out and take it with you."
"...Can we be serious for a second?" You sighed.
"I would like to stay with you. I think that would be a good way to do it without constantly wanting to punch myself." You noticed that his eyes started to flood with tears.
"Ajax... I'm sorry this happened to you..."
"No, Y/N, I'm sorry... I'm sorry for everything." He sat up again, tears falling from his eyes as he looks up at you with genuine eyes. "I don't know why I did that. And I... I regret it so much..." He reached for your hand, and you let him hold onto you for strength.
"Every tear I had in me I already cried when you left me for her." You smiled bitterly, though you remained soft, making him even more guilty as you try to stay strong. "But I appreciate the apology..."
You pull your hand away from him slowly, feeling that he was reluctant to let go.
"I-I still love you..."
You gave him a final smile. "You'll love someone better than me... Childe..." You back away, leaving him alone in his room still yearning for the days where his memory only consisted of loving you.
~•~•~•~•~•~•~•~•~•~•~
Hiiii again after quite a while! I think I've been noticing that my recent fics have been angst, I guess I just feel like hurting you guys this season of giving (I give pain :D)
Anywayy, anon, I think at some point I went my own direction and didn't fully stick to your request (I'm sorryyy TvT) but I hope you like it anyway!
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postracehair · 1 month ago
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trust me
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max verstappen x reader | 2.3k
after an incredible (and wet) weekend in brazil, you have a confession to make.
cw: a loving relationship! discussion of anxiety/fear/worrying about your race car driver bf, healthy communication, and softness galore.
a/n: being a wag must be so stressful. like, damn! also, rain races stress me out, personally. this fic is about that.
__
The triple header comes to an end in the best way possible.
Max Verstappen wins the São Paulo Grand Prix from a 17th-place start! It's the stuff of dreams. The fist around your heart unclenches just a little bit as you watch him smiling, roaring, hoisting his well-earned trophy aloft. It's your best day in a long time, watching your darling boyfriend like that, and you celebrate with everyone late into the night. The Championship battle looms in the background but tonight is about the hard work from the weekend. The stress, the frustration, the damn rain. All of it worth it for the pride you all feel right now.
But what comes after -- that, you can admit, you enjoy even more. Three weeks until Las Vegas and Max and the team have plenty of work to do before then, but for now? For now, it's this: rest.
Everyone gets to go home, finally. And for you, home is wherever Max is. You've spent the first few days of the break thus far at his place. On the floor with the cats, on the couch watching movies. In his bed, sleeping, sometimes, other times... not so much. Hours and hours just being together. You'll have plenty of time for this once the season ends but you can never get enough of him.
You're on the couch, sprawled across the length of it with a book in hand. It's a good one, so much so that you don't notice Max until he taps your ankle and you jump.
"Jesus," you gasp. His lips are pulled up at one corner in the precursor to a full grin, sweatpants slung low enough that you can see the branded band of his underwear between the drawstrings and the hem of his t-shirt. "Where did you come from?"
"Watching race replays," he says with a shrug. "Scooch." You tug your legs back and sit up a little, bookmarking your page as he rounds the couch and plops down where your feet were.
"Max," you whine. "I like to watch those, too. So you can do that thing where you narrate like, every second." You're teasing, but only a little. For all the jokes about "maxplaining," you really do love how he explains things. He tells you what he was thinking at every turn, what the trick is, how long it took him to get it right. He points out his mistakes and those of the other drivers. All of it thoroughly and with enthusiasm, answering your questions like you're the best student he's ever had.
"Yeah, well," he says, sinking into the couch, arm stretched across the cushions towards you. Your eyes rake over the line of his bicep as he talks. "You don't like rain races very much. Wasn't sure you'd want to see it again."
That gets your attention. "How did you know that?" You've never told him outright that they stress you out. It's really important to you that you keep your cool at the track, that you don't do anything to let on that he should worry about you.
But you should know better, it seems.
"I can tell," Max says, looking right at you. "I pay attention."
You hum, not sure what to say. "You've got me there," you confess. "I'm sorry."
"Hey," he tuts. "Why the apology? You can feel however you want to. This weekend was complicated."
He feels too far away. You set your book on the ground and shove your toes under this thigh. He keeps his eyes on your face but you fuss with the hem of your t-shirt rather than look back.
"They're exciting. Rain races, I mean." You sigh. "But I can't help but worry, Max. From the garage, it's so --"
You lose track of your words because Max grabs hold of your legs and tugs them over his thighs as he moves closer to you, almost crowding you against the arm of the couch. He reaches for your collarbone to pick some lint from your shirt, his other arm slung across your calves.
"Were you scared?" he asks. "This weekend, I mean."
Frankly, you avoid telling him things like this because you don't want to distract him. You don't want to detract from his performance in any way and maybe that's selfish, because you know he's very good at what he does and how you feel isn't going to derail his weekend. But you know he loves you, and you know how deeply he feels things. How much he wants to be a good partner, a good driver, a good man. And you try really hard to let him know that he is all of those things.
The reality of your position in his life is that there will always be people who heavily imply that your presence, your actions, your choices could be at fault. It's ludicrous -- Max has said so many times -- but it makes you hype-aware. You don't want to overstep. It's something you know you should articulate to him properly, but you know he'll be upset that you think you can be anything but a good part of his life. It's an endless cycle.
"Hey," he says, mistaking your silence for emotion. "Liefje, I'm fine." He reaches for you, cupping your cheek with a warm hand. You look up at him and find him frowning.
"I know," you say, leaning into his palm. "I know you are. I just -- I don't want it to sound like I'm a whining baby or something."
"Whining baby?" Max gently rubs the skin under your eye with his thumb. "Psh. We've got some of those on track. You couldn't come close to them if you tried."
That gets a laugh out of you and he cracks a smile at the small victory.
You sigh. "I was scared," you admit, voice soft. Max presses a little closer to you, his hand falling from your face to catch yours, fingers twining together.
"Are you always scared?" he asks. "You're more tense on rain weekends, I can tell that much. But you've never really talked about this. I guess I--" He frowns again. "I've never really asked you."
"That's okay," you say. "It's nothing, really."
Blue eyes bore into yours. "No, I want to know," he presses. "Please, tell me?"
You tip your head back a little, eyes on the ceiling. How to say it?
"I guess I'm always a little scared, yeah," you say. "I don't know how I wouldn't be."
He tugs on your hand so you'll look at him. "What is it, do you think?" The question comes out in his typical way. This must be how he is in driver briefings, you think fleetingly. Max is analytical, methodical, always looking for the root of the problem so he can understand it and adapt.
But how do you explain this?
"Well, it's a dangerous sport," you explain. "As you know. And I -- Max, I love you, and I don't want anything bad to happen to you."
The furrow of his brow lessens a bit and he presses a light kiss to the back of your hand. Your stomach flutters, even after all this time.
But Max has no time for your mooning, apparently. "Were you scared before we knew each other?" he asks.
You think about it. "It's different, I guess. I was worried, generally. For all of you. I'm still worried for all of you, but --"
His eyebrow quirks and he fails to hide a cheeky smile. "Me the most?"
You roll your eyes and squeeze his hand. "You the most. But don't tell Carlos that."
Max tuts. "So, now it's just worse? You feel it more?"
Nodding, you try to explain. "I don't even like watching on TV, now, because I'm so far away. I feel so helpless."
You can't make it to every race but you try your hardest, not only to support Max but for your own sanity. It's easier to calm yourself down when you're around other people who believe in him, when you have access to all the details and when he's only a few steps away when he's out of the car.
"I don't want you to be worried," he says, softly. "You don't let on that you are when we say goodbye before the race, aside from being a little tense."
One of your favorite pieces of race weekends -- those few moments when all of his attention is on you. He makes sure you have everything you need and leaves you with a kiss and a smile and a see you later. His confidence and his competence are like balms.
"When I'm looking at you, I'm not as stressed," you say, a bit shy. "You're very good at your job, you know. And your confidence is convincing."
"I know," he says, seriously. "That's why I know it'll be fine. Do you not know that?"
If he was less determined, you'd ask him to drop it, since you're starting to feel embarrassed. But you know he won't let it lie.
"I know it, too, Max." You reach for his face to push back some fringe from his forehead. "I'll always be worried about you, though. You get in the car and drive away and I just -- sit there. And wait for you to come back."
He frowns, deeper this time. You keep your hand on him, cupping his jaw and running your thumb along his stubble.
"And I love it. You know I was a fan before I met you and it's a dream to be there to watch you race. I love seeing you do crazy things like win from p17. It's so much fun."
He knows this about you. You've got a bit of a reputation for your facial expressions in the Red Bull garage, always the first on your feet when he overtakes, jumping up and down when he extends his lead. It's an infectious kind of joy and energy and you lean into it every time, even if your stomach is churning with anxiety.
Max is quiet for a few moments. He covers your hand with his and leans into it further.
"You trust me, right?"
"Of course," you say right away. "Always."
"I've never really thought about it," he says, slowly. "I mean, in the car. I don't worry about you because I'm not worried, so I just thought you knew not to be, too."
"I'll always worry, Max. Even though I trust you."
"Why didn't you tell me this before?"
Your cheeks heat and you look away from him, pulling your hand free to cradle it in your lap.
"You've got a million other things to worry about besides me," you say. "I don't want to distract you."
Max says your name with a scoff, literally waving his hand as if swatting away your silly notions. "Distract me? Come on," he says. "I wouldn't be a three-time world champion if I could get so easily distracted." He leans into your space, nosing at your jaw. "Even if you are very distracting."
You allow the attention for a few moments before pushing him back with a laugh. His cheeks are flushed, hair a bit of a mess, like after he takes off his helmet. And, god, he looks relaxed. You're so proud of him you can hardly stand it. The season is almost over and you know he's got a lot of work ahead of him, and you've got a lot of worrying. But he's motivated, and you know he can win. You know he'll come back to you.
Max leans his head back on the couch and casts his gaze sideways at you, nose scrunched. "I can't fix this, can I? You're still going to worry."
He sounds so resigned, so disappointed in himself that you tug on his hand so he'll get closer. This time, you frame his face with your hands and kiss him, just a light press of your lips to his. Both of you sigh into it, and you drag your mouth along his cheek until you reach his ear.
"I'm still going to worry," you whisper. "But I love you and I trust you. And I know it'll be okay."
Max sighs and presses his forehead to your shoulder, practically pulling you into his lap so he can wrap his arms around you.
"You better hope it doesn't rain for the rest of the season," he mumbles.
"That damn VSC," you groan, pulling back from him a bit. "I was going to tear my hair out!"
Max laughs. "It kept things interesting," he says lightly. "Rain isn't really a problem for me, schatje, you know this --"
"Because you're Dutch, I know, Max." You roll your eyes. "Even Fernando couldn't keep it together! I mean, the gasps from the garage when --"
The seriousness of your conversation fades as you trade tidbits about the race -- you've done this already, hashed it out in the hotel room and the flight home and in bed since Sunday. Max watches you talk, elbow braced on the couch and his head resting in his hand. His eyes sparkle and you know you're amusing him as he corrects you on the turn names and who went in the wall when. Max loves you: you've never doubted this. He loves you and he cares about how you feel and doesn't want you to be worried.
And while you will be, because you love him, you know that it'll be alright.
"Hey," Max says, interrupting your opinions about start procedures. "I love you, okay? Thank you for worrying about me."
"Graag gedaan," you say. Well, you try to say. Max laughs and corrects your pronunciation. You're welcome, he says, over and over, a kiss to your cheeks, your nose, your forehead each time. Ik houd van je. Your lips, your neck, your jaw.
I love you. I love you. I love you.
691 notes · View notes
dilf-docs · 1 month ago
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X Si Volvemos
ex older bf!logan x younger fem!reader
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summary: there are many things you and logan disagree in; but not when it comes to things in bed.
warnings: 18+ (minors dni), age gap (phew), smut, ex!logan, exes to ????, p in v, creampie, reader's in her early to middle twenties so her frontal lobe hasn't developed yet; don't expect any reasonable thinking on her side, logan is on his middle to late 40s, angst (duh), this happens in an AU where mutants don't exist bc i don't wanna complicate myself with timelines lol hence time isn't really important but it's contemporary, the vibes i bring to the function are more sad than horny and i'm sorry, toxic too! may build a series around it?
word count: 1,925 words
side note: the incredible @bpmiranda's got me with a very bad case of ex!logan fever :( plus after listening to karol G's album mañana será bonito and seeing i may or may not be obssesed with romeo santos, i got the song in the title on loop: as you can see, it's all very fitting ++ don't forget to check out her stories, they're so good istg!!!!
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You shouldn't call.
"Logan" you speak. His name burns in the tip of your tongue, like a secret you're not supposed to tell.
He shouldn't answer.
It's quiet at first on the other line, until a rough voice says I'm here, appearing to be distant, but who is he trying to fool? As soon as he saw the number pop on the screen, his fingers moved with a learned urgency.
You shouldn't keep calling.
"I need you" three words to cover those you actually mean; hanging in the spaces between the silence.
I miss you. I love you.
Your hear a heavy sigh on the other end.
He shouldn't keep answering.
"Princess..." Logan pleads, "don't do this"
You know better than that, he wants to say, but keeps his mouth shut. Just to hear your voice, just to-
"Please, Lo" you whine out. Logan grabs his jeans with force, the fabric strained under his white-knuckled grip. It takes him a lot not to run to you right there and now.
"Don't" but his voice cracks as much as his resistance.
"I've got the house" you whisper the prayer; a routine so sacred none of you seem to break it, "just for us"
"Y/n" even saying your name is painful; like the most addicting and damaging drug to ever exist, "stop"
Logan loved your stubborn heart, but there are times where he wishes you weren't like this.
"I'm sorry" and then he hangs up.
I'm sorry for not being who you needed. I'm sorry I pushed you away. I'm sorry I keep on coming back after I said I would leave you alone. I'm sorry I can't keep my promises.
You feel it around your neck―bruises in the vocals your voice has failed to scream; it chokes you with rage.
"Are you stupid?" you ask yourself in the mirror.
What are you doing? Why are you doing this to yourself? Do you love him more than you love you?
You dial again, but this time, it's a girl who picks up.
"Yeah?"
"Hi. Wanna go out?"
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Logan feels so out of place, but this used to be your favorite bar, and he's desperate for a drink.
Listening to your voice has always made him weak, but after you broke up, it drives him crazy.
He empties another glass, feeling pathetic. This is how bad it's gotten: you've got him scouring the places you used to go, chasing your ghost, trying to get a glimpse of your silhouette or a whiff of the phantom of your scent, the lavender haunting him; getting under his skin.
A song beggins playing, and it's the same vinyl set from two years ago. The night he met you: a pretty young thing so out of place in an old bar like that, playing hard to get, only to end the night moaning over him, fogging his car's windows, saying his name in a way no one else had before. He still remembers the way your legs trembled but he held you, beads of sweat confusing themselves with the glitter on your skin. Logan doesn't know what that is, but he's marveled, so in awe of you, everything of you: young, new, exciting.
But every new thing wears out, and the gap he swore wouldn't matter came crashing in years that built a distance between him and you.
So he did what he did best: ruin it. Deny the feelings bubbling inside; let them consume his reasoning, pushing you like he had done with everyone who cared about him before.
When he broke your heart, he took a part with him. So you keep coming back, looking for it; trying to piece yourself together. And he let's you: because God knows you have a part of himself too.
He's so drunk he probably imagines the hint of lavender in the whiskey tinted air. He's so desperate to see you again, he's seeing your face among the crowd. He's definitely gone insane: hearing that laugh he misses every day.
"Y/n..."
The music pauses: all you can hear is your name being said in that way like it belongs to him.
"...Logan"
He walks in autopilot over to the table you and a group of girls are sitting. They're all beautiful―beautiful people attract beautiful people, but he's only got eyes for you.
"What are you doing here?"
He raises a glass he didn't know he was carrying, "having a drink".
Your lips purse, and Logan doesn't know if it's because you're laughing at him or sad.
"I see" but you divert your gaze, looking at your outfit's neck. The outfit you chose: a black dress that pushes your tits on top. They are on display, and Logan feels played by you―his eyes trained on the strained fabric, tongue watering like it did when he would lick your sensitive nipples.
"I see too" he says in automatic, and one of your friends laughs. He looks away, thanking the low lights, or you'd see the red embarrassment on his face.
You stand up and walk over to him, and your friends sense it's time to leave the two of you alone.
"Why did you hang up?" you throw the question so casually; the nerve you have.
"What do you mean?" it's the only thing that comes to his mind. Very stupid, indeed.
You scoff, "delete my number, then"
"You keep on calling" he bites back.
"And you keep answering"
You never shut up. He hates that.
"I may have to stop"
You get closer, way too closer. So much, your hot breathe clouds his judgment.
"Try to" you dare.
And he tries, he really tries. But not today.
Not today when he takes you home, finally looking complete with you in it again. You had moved out after your last discussion, saying you'll never be back.
"You haven't changed a thing" you murmur in between kisses, and he can sense a bit of melodrama in his voice that makes him roll his eyes despite the dull ache on his chest.
He picks up your body swiftly, carrying you up to the bedroom.
"Why would I?" he asks, voice so low and small you almost miss it.
"Because you hate me" you avoid his eyes, even if your faces are too close, loosing all that corageous character of yours, "said you would get rid of it; of everything that reminded you of me"
But when he drops you softly on the matress, there's still that lamp you got him in the night table.
"I couldn't" he confesses.
I couldn't, he means, because I couldn't let you go.
But you both know it won't work out, something you knew right from the start: because toxic loves only fulfill basic needs. This isn't healthy, but he forgets it all as soon as you're moaning his name. Still, he promises himself he will say goodbye to you this time, even if it's inside of you.
"Shut up and kiss me, then" you're always pushing him around, making him do the things he desires to but doesn't want to do.
So he obliges, leaning in, the lavender so strong all over your sweet skin, poisoning his mouth on every kiss he leaves. He feels you squirm under him, goosebumps along your skin, prickling against his, so visible he can see and feel it even in the dim lit room.
"Take it" Logan doesn't look at you, but when he does, you feel him stare deep into your soul, "I know you want it"
He's sliding his dick inside you as soon as the sentence is over, the permission to take you and use you implicit. He robs a drawn-out groan out of you.
"So tight for me" he murmurs against your shoulder, sharp breaths and soft groans flooding your ears. His cock hits deep within you, hard thrust no one has ever been able to replicate, making you gasp for air, burying your face in the plush pillows now drenched in your sweat.
"You're so deep" you hiss, hot and overwhelmed, waves of pleasure hitting like water against cliffside rocks. "So big, Lo" you whine, dizzy at the way your pussy stretches for him.
"Just for you" he grunts out, and it's the truth. No matter how dark the room is or how many faces he avoids, he always looks into the eyes of the other women he fucks, his heart sinking when he can no longer pretend it's you, "fuck, squeeze a bit more".
Hearing his deep voice, rough when you fuck, always making you soak, coating his dick in your juices. You grip tight, as tight as the nails that hold onto his shoulders, making him moan at the pain.
"Like that, princess. Good girl" you moan at the praise, "I know you could take me, all of me"
He grunts and pants, holding you tighter as his cock pumps faster, in sync with your now closer to happening orgasm.
Before it, he slows down his thrusts, "where do you want me to cum, princess?"
He wants to, inside of you, but he can't do so, not when he promised he wouldn't ruin your life. But making you his, marking you as only his, makes his dick inside you twitch. Fuck, he's so balls deep inside you all he can think is filling you up silly.
"Inside me, Lo" like you read his thoughts, and it always amazes and scares him; how deep inside his mind you are. Never happened, not in his four decades of life. And that's part of the problem: he's closer to death than you are but it's only with you, young―blossoming with life, that he feels truly alive.
So how can he say no, when you plead and beg with those pretty doe eyes of yours? Who could imagine such a sweet thing to be so needy. He feels like you could ask for his heart, and he'd carve a hole in his body for you―bleeding out of love; dying with a smile.
"Such a greedy little thing, princess" he mocks, but his tone betrays him―dripping in adoration, "want me to fill you up all nice?"
A broken wail is what he takes as your answer, your mind in blank.
He finds himself letting go, way faster than he should; he just misses you and your needy dripping pussy that much. You can't hold back longer either, rush flowing through your veins, much more satisfying than the alcohol you had drank an hour ago.
Logan paints your insides with layers of his hot cum, mumbling a soft:
"Anything for my princess" he keeps going, panting as he's milked entirely dry, "anything you want, my girl"
Your vision is still spotty, mind fogged: you're sure that's the reason the hurt hasn't settled in your heart yet.
Then the silence comes, like it always does now.
"Y/n" you always love when he calls you by your name, but you hate the way he's saying it now. Like a goodbye.
"Don't-" you plead, begging he shuts up. But he pulls out, and says:
"It's for the best"
You don't want what's best. You want him.
"Can't believe you wore this dress" he traces the pattern of the tight clothes, damped in sweat, "you know it's my favorite. Why?"
You fail to supress a smile, even if it's tired and almost sad, "I knew you couldn't say no".
The truth is, you know many things: like how this is never going to stop until it's destroyed you both.
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rbfclassy · 6 months ago
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STILL IN LOVE! #10 — TOJI FUSHIGURO
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SYNOPSIS...after still messing around with your ex husband, you began to wonder if you’re still in love with him after finding out about his new girlfriend…
INFO...ex husband!toji x fem!reader, reader & toji have two kids, megumi is readers bio son, jealousy, smut, angst, arguments, alcohol, drinking problem, family problems, arguing in front of kids, toxic behaviors, crying, mentions of divorce
OTHER...likes and reblogs appreciated
this chapter contains smut
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You walked towards the front door, slowly opening it as Toji stood there in his hoodie. “Hey,” you said, quietly.
“Hey,” he simply responded, stepping foot inside the house. “Where are they?” He asked, a slight smile on his face.
You pointed towards Megumi’s room, Toji nodding before trying his hardest to silently walk over without making any noise. He could hear Megumi playing his video game from the television and Naya laughing. Toji glanced back over his shoulder to look at you, seeing you were trying your hardest not to laugh. “Go!” You yelled in a whisper.
He finally made it to the room, staying just out of sight before he knocked on the door. “You can come in, mom,” Megumi spoke, pausing his video game.
Toji slowly swung the door open before saying, “mom?” Standing there to see his kids faces light up with excitement.
“Dad!” Megumi yelled, tossing his headphones and control to the side, running up to his father.
“Daddy!” Naya screamed, dropping her dolls and running to Toji.
“Hey!” Toji chuckled, ruffling his sons hair and hugging him with one arm while he used the other to pick his daughter up, her little arms wrapping around his neck to hug him and kiss him on the cheek.
“I thought you weren’t coming until tomorrow?” Megumi questioned, looking at his father.
“Yeah! That’s what mommy said!” Naya chimed in, pouting.
You walked around the corner behind Toji with a smile on your face, arms folded across your chest. “Surprise!” You laugh. “Your dad wanted to prank you guys.”
Toji laughed along with you as he put Naya back down on the floor. “Mommy told me you guys were so sad. Really missed your old man, huh?”
Naya nodded her head, fiddling with her fingers. She turned to look at you, her eyes glowing bright like a lightbulb just went off in her head. “Mommy, can daddy stay for dinner tonight? Please, please, please, please!” She begged.
“Please, mom! You make enough food for all of us and I know dad loves your cooking! Right?” Megumi looks over towards his father.
You and Toji glance at each other as the kids beg and beg you to get him to stay. You truly didn’t mind, you usually end up always cooking extra for leftovers anyways and you knew the kids missed him like crazy. “It’s up to your father. I’m not sure if he’s busy or not.”
Almost immediately Toji answers, “I can stay.” His eyes searching yours.
“Yay!” Naya cheers, jumping up and down as she holds his hand.
“You two get back to playing and I’ll help mommy out with cooking, okay?” He looks between his two kids and they both nod at him, running back to their respective spots and going back to playing. “So, what are you making?” He asks as he trails behind you into the kitchen.
“I was thinking beef stew over white rice. Megumi has been asking for it, says it’s his favorite, so yeah,” you respond.
He chuckles at you words, “just like me, isn’t he?” Toji leans against the countertop. He watches as you grab the meat out of the fridge and the ricefrom the cabinet. There’s a few seconds of silence before he breaks it again. “Is, uh, everything sorted out between you and your boyfriend?” He asks, hoping the question didn’t come off too strong.
You scoff, “well, we’re actually no longer seeing each other anymore.” You purse your lips together, taking a deep breath.
“Shit…I’m sorry, mama. The argument couldn’t have been that bad, could it?” Toji wonders.
“It’s a little more complicated than that to him. I guess it wasn’t just about the argument.” You turn to look at him. “But what can I do? If he wants to leave, then so be it. He was a great guy, I have nothing against him, but I can’t make him stay.” You shrug. From where Toji was standing, he could see that you were hurt over the situation. He wasn’t going to keep asking questions and pry, reopening the wound again just to make you talk about it. “It just ended so quick, he ended it so quick like nothing. I just…I’m starting to think that maybe it’s me, you know?” You admit.
“No, no,” he shook his head, “don’t say that.” He placed his hand on the small of your back, trying his best to comfort you.
“I being honest, Toji. Look how I went off on you just this morning, screaming and cursing, blaming you when it was me who asked you to come. I just,” you sigh, “I just think that I need to work on myself before anything. Obviously, the kids are always first, but you get what I mean.”
Toji pulls you into his embrace, his arms wrapped around you. “I just think you’re someone who’s been through a lot. But don’t blame yourself for it, mama. No one is perfect. Hell, I should know,” he chuckled.
You laughed with him, resting your head on his shoulder. It was times like this that made you wonder if Nanami’s words were true. How effortlessly you sat in his arms, let him hold you. You trusted him so much, appreciated his words too. “Thank you, Toji.” You pulled away from him, staring into his eyes, and he stared right back. His eyes flickered down to your lips for the quickest second before you pulled away. “Alright, time to make dinner!”
“Right, what’d you need me to do?” He cleared his throat.
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Megumi scarfed down his second bowl of food like he hadn’t eaten in days, taking spoonful after spoonful. You and Toji both watched him, the little boy in his own world, just nothing but him and his bowl of food. “Megs, slow down before you get a stomachache,” Toji ordered.
“I’m fine,” he spoke, mouth full of food.
“Listen to your father, Megumi,” you demanded.
The little boy looked up at both of you, sauce and rice stuck around the corners of his mouth as he put the spoon down and actually chewed his food. “Sorry,” he mumbled, grabbing his napkin. His bowl now empty.
“I’m done, mommy!” Naya showed you her empty bowl.
“Good job, baby girl. Go put in the sink.” You pointed into the kitchen. Megumi followed behind her, wiping his mouth and throwing it in the trash.
“Kids,” Toji mutters.
“They’re carbon copies of you—personality wise.” You roll your eyes at the man, a smirk on your face.
“Yeah, yeah, sure,” he playfully scoffs.
The kids walk back to the table. “Can you and daddy come tuck us into bed now?” Naya asked, rocking back and forth on the heels of her feet.
Toji stood from his chair, grabbing his daughters hand as she lead him towards her bedroom. You grabbed Megumi’s hand, following him into his. “Goodnight, sweetheart. See you in the morning.” You placed the blankets over him as he curled into bed, planting a soft kiss on his forehead.
“Night, mom.” He smiled before you walked out his room and into Naya’s just as Toji did the same.
“Goodnight, baby.” You leaned down and kissed her cheek, seeing that Toji already turned her nightlight on, the patterns decorating her ceiling.
“Goodnight,” she spoke softly. You shut off her light and closed her bedroom door, Toji doing the same with Megumi.
“They’re getting too big.” Toji smiled, but it was a bittersweet smile. It was like only yesterday when he remembers Megumi being born. A head full of black hair and chubby little cheeks. Now, he’s only two years away from being double digits.
“They’ll always be our babies no matter how old they grow.” A tired sigh left your lips, and for a brief moment you closed your eyes. Toji studied you, noticing your soft and tired expression. He thought about what Gojo had told him—to kiss you. He doesn’t know if he can despite doing it many times before. It’s too soon. You’re still hurt over Nanami, and you only allowed him to stay so late because of the kids. He didn’t want to overstay his welcome like he did before.
Just as he was about to grab his keys from his pocket, you blurted out, “you remember when we first met?” You softly chuckled at the memory, looking towards him. “You had this grumpy look on your face and you were with Gojo. I was celebrating my birthday, super drunk with my friends.”
Toji nodded, grinning. “Yeah, I remember. You stumbled between me and Gojo at the bar, interrupted our conversation just so you could order another drink,” he added. He moved closer towards you, both of you just now standing in the hallway, leaning against the wall, staring into each others eyes. “You caught my eye, had me staring for minutes on end.”
You laughed at his comment. “I could say the same. I mean, who wouldn’t stare? Tall, muscular man with dark hair and a handsome face? I was sure every girl in there wanted you.” You rolled your eyes.
“Yet, I was only looking at you. The birthday girl.” He stared at you with soft eyes. “And then that birthday girl soon turned into the mother of kids and my wife. I couldn’t ask for anything better.” Suddenly, he gently grabbed your hand. Toji contemplated on whether he wanted to express his true feelings right now. And he knows he’s already told you so many times before, shown you so many times before, but that light of hope won’t die inside of him no matter what. “You were the best thing in life. You still are. You and the kids. I think about you so much, so fucking much, y/n. And I miss you so much, mama. I really do. I miss being a family. I fucked it all up…” He shook his head, lightly squeezing your hand in his.
“I was jealous,” you admitted. “Back when you were with that girl, when you dropped the kids off. I was jealous, hurt. I…I thought that maybe all of those nights and mornings we spent together even after the divorce…I had thoughts of getting back together with you,” you said in a soft tone. “But, then I saw her and knew you were spending more time with her and I felt like I was being used until you found someone else to fill what I couldn’t for so long. I just thought that if I forgot and moved on, then we could put this all behind us. I was trying to deny it. I was so wrong.”
Toji’s hand cupped your face, the pad of his thumb caressing your cheek. You melted into his touch, letting out a shaky breath. “I was only trying to do the same, but I did it in the worst way possible. No matter who I tried to replace you with, I couldn’t do it. It wasn’t the same. They weren’t my wife. So that’s why I always came back to you, mama. You and the kids are my home, my heart. I don’t know where we went wrong in our marriage, but I’d be a damn fool if I didn’t try and fix it. I’m in love with you. I never stopped loving you.”
Tears pooled in your eyes and it felt like everything you’ve been so unsure about became clear. “I…I love you too, Toji. Fuck, I love you.” You finally were able to speak your true feelings instead of shoving them away, pushing them into pits of darkness. His eyes searched yours before he decided to push all his second thoughts aside, planting his lips on yours. Your arms wrapped around his neck, pulling him in closer as you kissed him back. Your skin felt hot, his hands roaming all over your body, kissing you like a starved man.
“I’ve missed you so fucking much, mama,” he panted, speaking between kisses. “I don’t think you understand just how much you’re on my mind. I should’ve never let you go.” Both of you fumbled into your bedroom, Toji shutting and locking the door behind him without breaking the kiss.
Your back connected with the plush bed, Toji’s mounting you. Your hands snaked up under his shirt, trying to remove it. He pulled away from the kiss with a devilish smirk, reaching for the shirt and pulling it over his to exposed his muscular build. Not wasting another second, Toji helped you remove your shirt, earning a chuckle when he saw you weren’t wearing a bra.
It feels like forever since he’s seen you like this, since he’s been so vulnerable with anyone. He pulls down your shorts along with your panties, tossing the articles of clothing on the floor. You shut your legs together as Toji’s removed the rest of his clothing. It felt like your heart was going to beat out of your chest.
“Don’t be shy, mama, come on.” He glided a hand down the side of your abdomen.
“I know, it’s just we haven’t done this in a while,” you shyly say.
“It’s nothing I haven’t seen before, yeah? Making love to you ten years straight,” he chuckled. “Let me see her, wanna make you feel good.” He sunk down onto his knees, big hands gently opening your legs, pushing them back to your chest as he set eyes upon your pussy. “Fucking hell,” he muttered. “As pretty as I remember.”
A small gasp left your lips at the feel of his tongue dipping between your folds. His hands held your legs back while his tongue circled around your clit. Your hand immediately tangled in his hair, small whimpers leaving your lips as you tried not to be too loud. He sucked on your clit before lifting his head with a pop, pressing kisses to your inner thighs and the outside of your pussy, teasing you. “Taste so good, baby,” he moaned, licking a long stripe from your fluttering hole to your aching clit once again.
“Ah, Toji,” you moaned, raking your fingers through his black hair. “Oh my god.” Your eyes rolled back, the tip of his tongue penetrating your hole. “Mmm, fuck,” you panted.
Toji spit onto your pussy before slurping your juices, licking up every last drop as he focused on your swollen clit. “Oh, fuuuck. I love the way you taste.”Your hands clasped over your mouth in an attempt to stifle your moans, the pleasure starting to build up, your skin hot to the touch. It was so intense. You lifted your head, watching the way he devoured you, licking, sucking, and slurping like his life depended on it. You nearly came on the spot when he looked up at you, dark and lustful eyes staring right back at you. He lifted his head, his chin coated in your juices. “Good job, mama. Keep those eyes on me. I wanna look into them while you cum.”
You propped yourself up on your elbows, your bottom lip tucked between your teeth. “Yes, yes, right there, baby.” Your brows furrowed in pleasure, toes curled as ecstasy coursed through your veins. “Oh shit, I’m getting close,” you moaned. Toji pushed your thighs back further, feeling your fight against him when the feeling became too much.
“You gonna cum?” He cooed. You nodded, whimpering when you felt him slip two fingers in. “You’re so wet, oh fuck,” he breathed out. He curled his fingers up to hit your g-spot, doing a ‘come hither’ motion. He watched as your eyes rolled back, jaw slack and the way your body shuddered under his touch. His tongue laid flat on your clit as he practically made out with your pussy, watching the way you struggled to keep yourself sitting up.
“Toji!” You squeaked, feeling your orgasm approaching quickly. “You’re gonna make me cum, oh—ah, shit, shit—mmph!” You put your hand over your mouth once again as your orgasm raked through your body, falling back onto the bed as your entire body quivered at his touch and your eyes rolled back. He didn’t stop until he drew your entire orgasm out of you, making sure you enjoyed every last second and felt every last bit of pleasure.
“That’s my fucking girl,” he praised, pressing kisses to your thighs as you came down from your high. Those kisses soon reached higher, traveling up your stomach, then on your sternum, then your neck, and lastly your lips. Your hands cupped his face, tasting yourself on his tongue as he settled between your legs. “Look at me while I put it inside,” he whispered, his forehead pressed against yours.
Biting your lip, you nodded, and spread your legs a little further for him. Toji shuddered as he aligned himself with your entrance, taking every chance to tease you and himself. The tip of his cock rubbed up and down your slit, nudging at your clit and sliding between your folds. It felt like the breath was sucked out of your lungs when he finally slipped inside, pushing slowly, inch by inch, making eye contact with you the whole way through. The stretch made you wince slightly, always forgetting just how thick he was, but it was so deliciously intoxicating. “Feels so good already,” you mumbled against his lips.
Finally, he bottomed out, his cock throbbing inside of you before slowly started moving. “Ah, fuck, you’re already clenching around me,” he breathily chuckled, picking up his pace, your body rocking back and forth. “Feel so fucking good wrapped around me—oh shit.” Your legs were pushed up to your chest, your arms wrapped around his neck as you tried to pull him in closer than he already was. His cock dragged along your walls, pulling out before slamming right back into you. “I’m gonna go faster, baby,” he warned, wrapping his arms around your body, settling his head in the crook of your neck.
His hips began moving at a much faster pace than before, the tip of his cock reach deep inside of you, grazing over your sweet spot with each thrust. He squeezed at your flesh, holding onto you like he never wanted to let go. “F-fuck!” You squealed, sucking in a breath. Your nails clawed at his back, hands sneaking up to rest in his hair while he fucked you into the mattress.
“You’re doing so well for me, beautiful—ah, oh shit,” he moaned as you squeezed around him, sucking him in. Toji lifted his head to look at you, his lips connecting with yours, passionately kissing you, tongues messily moving against one another. You moaned into the kiss, his hips repeatedly slamming against yours, your legs instinctively wrapping around his waist. He felt like he was on cloud nine, head spiraling. Your two sweaty bodies pressed up against each other while he whispered dirty things into your ear. Filthy moans and whimpers leaving your mouth while you begged for more. “Fuck,” he groaned. He pushed deeper, practically putting you in a mating press, your legs over his shoulders.
“Toji!” You cried out. “It’s too much—fuck I think I’m gonna cum again.” You were barely able to speak, broken moans filling the room. “Yes, yes, right there,” you whimpered, clawing at his biceps. “Please, don’t stop,” you begged, staring at him in desperation.
“I know, mama, I know. I’m sorry, you just—ngh, fuck—feel so fucking good,” he moaned out. His hair stuck to his sweaty forehead, his cheeks a rosy red as the light reflected off of his sweaty body, defining his muscles. “You make it so hard to control myself. Driving me fucking crazy,” he panted. You immediately pulled him down for a sloppy kiss as he kept drilling your sweet spot over and over again until your legs were shaking, sending your body into overdrive. Your eyes screwed shut as your orgasm hit you like tsunami, body quivering as you held onto Toji with at your strength.
“I love you,” you whisper, pressing your forehead against his, a lazy smile on your lips.
Toji smirked, pecking your lips one more time. “I love you too, baby—love you so much.” He kissed you again. His thrusts grew sloppier and harder, his orgasm approaching. “Ngh, shit!” He grunted. “You’re gonna make me cum if you keep looking at me like that,” he let out a breathy chuckle.
“Cum in me,” you whimpered, nodding at him.
“Mama, don’t say that—fuck! Please, don’t,” he whimpered. Those three words drive him crazy, and you out of everyone knew that. It didn’t help how deep he was inside of you either.
“Please, Toji,” you cup his face and place your lips on his. “Cum in me, baby.” You whisper against his lips.
Toji let out a shaky moan, his hips stuttering with each thrust. “Oh, fuck, don’t…don’t do that to me—oh my fucking god you’re squeezing around me. Shit!” He breathes heavily, chest heaving up and down. He can’t contain himself, losing all self control when you beg him once again, pulling him in close. A series of moans and grunts fall past his lips when he pushes deep inside, fucking you hard and slow, filling you up. Slowly he pulls out, leaving your legs quivering. “Oh my god, come here.” He grabs your jaw, pulling you in for a kiss, his tongue moving against yours. “Breathe, baby,” he kisses you, “just breathe.” He places his lips on yours again. “That’s it, mama, deep breaths.”He tries to catch his breath, lying down beside you. “Shit.” He stares up at the ceiling with a soft smile, wiping the sweat from his forehead. He feels you snuggle in beside him, resting your head on his chest. He looks down at you, snaking his arm around your waist. “You doing okay?”
“Yeah, I just need to catch my breath.” You nod, placing your hand on his chest. “I can’t believe we just did that,” you said, shocked before laughing.
“Does that mean I get stay for breakfast?” He asked, jokingly. You slap him on his arm, rolling your eyes at him. “Ow!”
“You just came inside me and you’re asking if you can stay for breakfast?” You lift your head, brow raised with a playful smile on your face.
“Can’t a guy be gentleman?” He shrugs.
“You’re insufferable,” you mumble as you lean in, pecking his lips.
“Well you’re possibly gonna give me a third kid so you gotta put up with it, mama.” He smiles against your lips before landing a slap on your ass.
“Ow!” You gasp.
“Payback,” he says, smugly. Both of you sit in silence for a few, enjoying each other’s company, eyes closed, and the only thing you can hear is the sound of both of you breathing. “I love being like this with you.” He breaks the silence. His fingers trace patterns on your skin, sending goosebumps all over your body. “No fighting, nothing. Just us. I want that back forever.”
“I miss it too, but we can’t just jump straight back into it. I know we literally just had sex,” you laugh, “but let’s take the whole relationship thing slow, yeah?”
“I’ll wait however long.” He brushes a hand against your cheek, looking over your features. “Just wanna be able to call you my wife again, put an even bigger ring on your finger. I wanna do right by you and the kids this time. I should’ve never taken you for granted.” He cups your cheek. “I’m lucky that you’re even giving me another chance.” He takes your hand, placing a soft kiss on your knuckles. “You’re so special to me. I want you to know that.”
You sniffle a little, tears brimming your eyes—happy tears. “Just don’t fuck it up. I don’t know if I could stand going through that all over again, Toji.” You slightly frown, squeezing his hand.
“I don’t think I’d be able to stand it either,” he admitted. “I love you too much. I’m sorry for acting like a fucking idiot in the past.” Gently stroking your cheek.
“Can you hold me?” You asked, voice soft and delicate. He doesn’t respond, he just wraps his arms around you and pulls you on top of him, pulling the blankets over you. His rubs his hand up and down your back, soothing you.
“We have to get cleaned up in a little bit, okay? Don’t fall asleep,” he murmurs against your forehead before pressing a kiss to it. You nod in response, shutting your eyes slowly. “I love you.”
“I love you too.”
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auroreliis · 2 months ago
Note
Hey there, I hope I'm not spamming your blog too much
Also long ask ahead I'm sorry
I would actually enjoy the idea of Batfam with a reader who tried to impress them/ bond with them trough their hobbies
Normally it's only done in neglect fics(no hate to those I love them) and id love to see the reaction in a more fluffy scenwrio
Dick? Reader shows up to every single a acrobatics completion he takes and cheer for him the loudest , and one day come up to dick and show him they won first place in an acrobatics competitons turns out reader has been practicing in secret to impress dick
Jason? Reader constantly exchanges books with recommendations with him, and pays full attention when they rant about how good/bad a book is, one day reader shily approaches him and offers him a book they wrote and published themselves
Cass?(Warning I know nothing about ballet) Reader always tries to get her tickets to shows she's interested in, and even gets her meet and greets/autograph with her favorite dancers, one day reader offer her a single ticket for a new shows , with the excuse that they could only get that, and turns out that reader is actually the main dancer in the show
And obviously with Damian reader is often with him when he paint, and if damian feels like talking, they ask him about what methods he's using and what "vision" he has for his painting, eventually reader ask him to judge their paintings.
(im skipping Steph and Tim, because
The ask is getting too long and because with Tim, his hobby is genuinely investigating mysteries, so that'd s bit complicated since it's mostly vigilante related work,and I don't remember if Steph has a Really specific hobbie that reader can try, she's would just be happy to spend time with them)
Hey! No worries about spamming :)
If you're trying hard to get along with them, then they get very excited and that leads to fluffy scenarios!
Dick would love to do acrobatics with you and he would make for a great mentor. Usually, Dick is known for being annoying, but this is only when you don't engage enough with him. However, when you do engage with him, he becomes a regular, affectionate older brother.
After you finish your daily acrobatic training, he usually carries you to your room and brings you whatever you want. Water? Of course, right away! Food? Alfred's already making it! You want him to put a film on? Yes, hopefully you don't mind him watching it too :)
Jason adores the fact that you like his recommendations when it comes to books. It's not that nobody else in the manor thinks his suggestions are good, it's just that he most values your opinion.
His favourite moments are when you and him are sitting in the library during the evening, drinking hot chocolate and reading books. Neither of you are talking, but the silence is comfortable. Sometimes, he stop reading to look over at you, but you don't notice, because you're so immersed in the story. He probably looks for more books to recommend to you, intending to sit in the library in silence again.
Tim has many hobbies and many hobbies that you are unable to take part in. However, Tim makes it quite easy to spend time with him. For example, watching films with him is something he suggests often. Somehow, Tim always know what you want to do without needing to hear you say it, so if a new show came out, he immediately runs to you and asks if you want to binge it with him.
Watching shows isn't the only thing you two do, though. Tim also enjoys talking to you about anything. You have a new hyperfixation? Tim is the FIRST person you have to tell, because he probably also has the same hyperfixation lol. Somehow, the two of you resonate on every possible level and that makes any mundane activity entertaining if both of you are present.
Stephanie didn't know what to say when you asked her to play the piano for you, but she couldn't just refuse, so she played for you. You can imagine her delight when you asked her to teach you how to play. It takes a while to learn to play the piano, but that just means she gets to spend more time with you :)
Cassandra is delighted to hear that you like ballet as much as she does. She would practice ballet with you and plan choreographies to challenge you a bit. Whenever a show worth watching came up, she would be the first to buy tickets for the two of you.
Much like with Jason, Cassandra is also comfortable with sitting in silence. She doesn't need to have a conversation with you to feel seen by you, just being in the same room is enough for her.
Painting with Damian has become a regular afternoon activity for you, though by "painting with", I mean "getting painted by", because as much as Damian believes in your ability to make great paintings, he sees something in you that makes you the perfect muse. Whenever he paints you, his paintings end up being brighter, they make his other paintings look bleak in comparison.
He finds himself adding some of your charm to other paintings. Whenever he paints a landscape, it looks empty without your favourite flowers in the field. If he paints a room in the manor, he adds some of your objects, perhaps your sweater is hanging over a chair in the corner, or your headphones are on the table in the living room. Now he is unsatisfied with every painting that doesn't have a hint of your presence in it.
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madamechrissy · 4 months ago
Text
Fractured Desires
ꕥ Pairings: Suguru Geto x Satoru Gojo x Fem Reader It's a mess tbh lol
ꕥ Warnings-MDNI-explicit sexual content, Satoru Gojo is a mean little shit, there will be a lot of threesomes/ foursomes/ complicated shit and some infidelity and confusion. There is some physical description of the readers height/body, don't read if too unimmersive for you. Angst and smut and yandere Gojo behavior. In this chapter- Toxic Asshole Gojo, and toxicc hoe Geto
ꕥ Word Count this chap- 8.7k
ꕥ Summary- You meet Suguru Geto at your work, he is charming, gorgeous, and wants an open relationship. You jump in, and you all share women and have way too much fun. But then it's starting to get serious between you, official even. He can't wait to have you meet his best friend. But... Satoru Gojo hates you. The minute you meet. He gives you no reason, but he's nasty to you, no matter what you try. Suguru finally has enough of Satoru being so mean and brings up the idea - 'let's have you two fuck this frustration out'
Satoru hates you because deep down wants to make you his. He doesn't understand how Suguru could ever want anyone but you. Though it's a bad idea, he agrees to share you with Suguru for a chance at you and... The moment he touches you... Rules are bent and broken, Suguru develops feelings for another girl, and Satoru gets further obsessed with you. Nothing is as it seemed. Will everyone get hurt?
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ꕥChapter 1 ꕥ
Satoru's POV
Satoru Gojo hates you. No, he really hates you.
As Suguru and you walk in, hand in hand, and he sees your pretty eyes all lit up, he realizes he despises you more than anything. Hates how you smile at him, how you look at Suguru so adoringly, he really hates how positive and sweet you are, especially to him, when he’s a dick to you.
Why don’t you stop? Just be a bitch back or something, be real with him, but no, you’re perfect aren’t you? Just a perfect girl, beautiful, though he doesn’t find you attractive, no way . Even though he can see every curve in that dress you wear, your lush breasts swaying (because why can’t you wear a bra) your hips swaying, your little waist where it juts in.
You have a gorgeous body, but he doesn’t care, he doesn’t care your skin glows, and your cheeks get pink. He hates that. He hates every bit of you, as you stand there, so tiny compared to Suguru and him, so tiny he could throw you. Tiny and evil. Sure you’ve been nothing but nice but he knows you’re awful somewhere in there, because who can be so sweet?
As you bounce in his office, holding a little envelope that was pink just like the dress you wore (god you’re so girly, you annoy him that way too) Satoru Gojo just scowls at you, then looks to Suguru. Suguru looks like a puppy so in love with you already, and how, it hadn’t been that long had it…
“Happy birthday, Gojo!” You beam at him, coming to his desk and leaning forward, hugging him around his neck. He tenses then.
Your collarbone is so inviting and delicate, right against his face, as your breasts are soft on his own chest, the weight of them so intoxicating. You smell so sweet, like cherry blossoms, he hates that, hates you. He hates how much his arms itch to wrap back, how much his hands want to slide up your back, grip those pretty tits that are killing him.
Fuck he hates you.
“Ahem…” You awkwardly step back as he just sits there, and he glares at you, making your pretty face fall for a moment.
Good.
Your POV
“Sorry, got carried away. I am so excited to give you this gift!” You hand him the pink envelope, and Suguru comes closer, leaning on Satoru’s desk and smirking.
“Open it baby boy.” Suguru teases, and Satoru rolls his pretty blue eyes.
“A gift would be not having to see you.” He says tersely, glaring at you then, and how did someone so stunning and beautiful look at you so mean . For what?
You tense then, and Suguru has a glare on his handsome face, coming to wrap an arm around your waist gently but assuredly. His big hand is warm on your hip, and you watch Satoru’s bright blue eyes hone in on them like a hawk. Suguru leans forward and presses his lips against your temple, firm hot lips that you adored, and you instantly relax.
“Satoru, she’s just trying to be nice, could you please just try not to be such a colossal dick?” Suguru asks calmly, and Satoru lowers his gaze back to the envelope again.
Satoru Gojo hates you. You don’t know why.
You’ve been dating Suguru for only three months, so not a very long time, but you’d known him for a little longer, he’d come into the club you work at on the weekends, and would sit at the bar and talk to you. Until one night you got the hint, and did go home with him, and fuck if it wasn’t the best decision. Suguru Geto was absolutely amazing in every way possible.
You both had fallen into an easy situation-ship, as Suguru was very open sexually, and though you weren’t at first, he made it fun. You were bisexual, so you all started just having fun together with a couple gorgeous girls, and fuck Suguru was superb in bed too. The thoughts alone make you tremble.
You all ended up developing feelings and deciding to be together, and exclusively date even if you all had fun in the room, you both promised to only ‘date’ each other. It was weird, and not common, but it seemed to work. You loved watching Suguru get pleased by another woman, and he loved to watch you get pleased.
Even though he hadn’t said he loved you, you had let it slip during one particular love making session alone together. Definitely had to do with Suguru’s tongue honestly. He had said he needed some time, which was fine with you, because Suguru treated you like some queen.
He took care of you, he was there for you, shit he spoiled you honestly. Though he was with other women sexually, he only dated you, and he’d even offered to bring a guy in the bedroom. But you weren’t sure about that sort of thing, with a guy.
When you’d met his best friend, and fuck you’d been so excited, Suguru talked him up like he was amazing, he clearly adored him, so much so you wondered if they were together together, perhaps in the past. Suguru brought up that they'd shared women and everything, and of course when you saw Satoru Gojo your heart had faltered.
He was beautiful, this tall white haired man with a perfect face and baby blue eyes, the yin to Suguru’s yang. Both of them were the most gorgeous men you’d seen. Suguru had talked so much about how Satoru was just the absolute best person, how he would adore you, because Suguru did. Bright and funny, and a loyal friend, almost like family.
Welp.
The Satoru Gojo you met was mean . Nasty. He looked at you like you were something disgusting to him, and he had not once smiled your way, and you have absolutely no clue what you’ve done. You have tried everything, to the point Suguru has brought up not hanging out with him as much, but you never want to ruin a friendship, and you insist he keeps trying.
But no matter what, any time you were around, Satoru had nothing nice to say, no he had mean things to say. Sometimes so cruel Suguru and him would fight, and Satoru would sort of apologize, once Suguru backed off hanging out with him. Which was hard, since they work together in the same building, both running the same damn company together.
You hate that you come between them.
“Yeah, yeah… my birthday is tomorrow.” He slides a silver letter opener to tear open the envelope then.
“She wanted to give it to you today.”
“Hmm… holy fuck!” He runs a hand through his silky white hair, as his full lips part in a gasp, staring at the tickets. “This is front and center for the game tomorrow!? How, these are sold out!?”
“I got them last month. Suguru brought up how much you love going to those games and I got a deal on them.” You say, and Suguru smiles down at you, looking so handsome, you brush back his long locks, kissing his cheek and giggling.
“Knew he’d love it.” Suguru murmurs, and you get just a bit of hope, until Satoru pulls the tickets out.
“Three?” He says haughtily, glaring those ridiculously pretty blue eyes up at you then, blinking those spiky white lashes. You sigh.
“Yeah, I thought we could all go? If that’s okay!” You wring your hands nervously in front of you.
“Of course it’s okay, right Satoru?”
“Can I take someone else?” He asks, and you feel your chest tighten. Suguru opens his mouth, brows low over his brown eyes, but you stop him.
“Um, it’s your gift. Of course you can. I didn’t mean to impose.” He sighs, rolling his eyes, leaning back in the big black office chair and thrumming his fingers on the mahogany desk like he’s bored.
“You don’t care? You bought them, and a pretty penny I bet.” You just blink back that emotion, smiling brightly, earning a scowl.
“It’s your gift and I shouldn’t have been so sure you’d want me to go. So of course, but please take Suguru.”
“Babe-”
“It’s fine!”
“Oh I’ll take Suguru.” He smirks, and it’s a nasty one, too nasty to be on such a pretty face, as he eyes your body up and down. “Think I’ll invite a really pretty girl, someone banging hot.”
You tense at his words, and Suguru does too. “Yeah, what now? As if she’s not drop dead gorgeous, please fuck all the way off. You can dislike her but don’t lie.”
You’re bright red, and barely held in tears make your vision blur as Satoru casually assesses you. “Mmm… she’s okay I guess. I meant actually hot.”
“I’m just gonna go.” You whisper then, trembling as he so casually douses the small bit of self esteem you have, the one that Suguru had helped you with.
“Apologize, now, because you know it’s bullshit. I know you stare at her so cut the shit.” Suguru’s voice gets dark, deep and authoritative, and Satoru frowns then.
“I didn’t say she’s ugly or something. As if that matters to her .”
“I’m right here, you know.” You cut in then, tilting your chin up, and Satoru stands up then, hands in his pockets.
“All right, surely you know the caliber of women I get. How do you stack up, short stuff?” He is right in front of you, bent down, and your tears escape, just two of them, but you quickly blink and look down.
“Satoru, I swear to fucking-”
“It’s fine, Suguru.” You whisper, swiping at your eyes then facing him, the man who so casually says you’re basically unattractive. “I’m sure you get much prettier women than me. I don’t think I’m very pretty, by the way.”
He glares then, a snarl on his lips. “You’re full of shit, I know you think you’re hot shit, I see it in the way you act, the way you walk.”
“You don’t know shit. You don’t know anything about me. You can call me ugly all the fuck you want but don’t pretend to know who I am inside.” He blinks his white lashes, leaning back a bit and opening his mouth.
“Baby…”
“I didn’t say you’re ugly, I just…”
“Said I’m nothing like girls you get. Said I’m not hot.”
“You’re not hot to me.”
“Good, I shouldn’t be! I’m not your girlfriend.”
“Well thank god I can’t imagine having to wake up and look at that face in the morning.” You back up then, and the tears do flow, and for just a moment you see Satoru’s face fall, as if maybe he realized how horrible he is.
But too late, you just want to leave.
“Satoru I’m fucking done, you- baby don’t go.” You shake your head as he holds on to you.
“I’ll leave and stop ruining your day. Have a good birthday, Gojo.” You murmur, and he opens his lips to say something, but you cut him off with a wave of your hand, leaning up to kiss Suguru then. “I overstepped.”
“You didn’t, he’s being-”
“Text me later.” He reaches for you but you turn and walk out the door, your chest heaving, trying not to show tears so embarrassingly in the busy office, struggling to just catch a breath.
Satoru’s POV
“I’m not going with you. I’m so fucking done. You’ve been a dick but this is too far even for you.” Suguru shoves Satoru then, and Satoru starts to hate himself, more than he already has been lately.
“She knows she’s gorgeous, she just wants attention.”
“You have no clue what she does or doesn’t know. When I met her she was so down on herself, it’s taken a lot just to get her to feel pretty, now you go and fuck that up for her.”
Satoru pauses, lips tensing as they are pressed together, and he sees you walk out of the office from the window, and when he sees you it hurts his heart. Your hands are in your face as if you’re crying into them, and that little pink dress and your long hair are flowing in the wind, you look like some painting out there, so perfect and tiny in the big city.
Fuck.
“I was just trying to get a rise-”
“She spent so much money on those. Just for you to maybe not hate her, and what do you do, make her cry? I’m done.”
“Suguru… I just didn’t think that someone who looks like that…”
“Like what?”
“She’s beautiful and yes I know she is. Not blind. How does she not know she is?” Satoru runs a hand through his silvery hair, and Suguru glares.
“So instead of saying that you make up some bullshit? Not like the girls you get!? She’s prettier than anyone you’ve fucked.”
Satoru lets out a dejected sigh. “Yeah. I know.”
“Then what… what the fuck is your problem! What has she ever done? She even tells me to hang out with you when I don’t want to.”
Satoru pauses. “She does?”
“Yeah, she sure does, or I wouldn’t talk to you aside from business. She pleads your case as you down her, trash her. I know it’s only been a few months, but she is important to me.” Satoru’s heart hurts, as he looks back out the window, and of course you’re gone, probably still crying because of him.
And he’d lied right to your face.
You believed him, too.
How? When you’re so beautiful, how could you not know how just your glittering eyes looking at him tear his heart out of his chest? And that was why Satoru hates you so very much, because of that.
How can he look at his best friend’s girl like that? No, he must hate you instead, because if he lets his guard down…
It’d be over for him.
“Satoru, you aren’t fucking listening.”
Satoru looks at his best friend, seeing the anguish in his face, and it makes him feel even worse. “Sorry. I’m sorry, okay?”
“How could you be so mean, even to a stranger let alone her? It’s not even like you. It’s like I don’t know who you are. And if this is jealousy for her time with me, she always makes sure we have time alone, so-”
“I know she does. I know she’s perfect. I know she’s beautiful. And, I know she is a sweet person who’s only been nice to me. Okay!?”
“So what the fuck-”
“I hate her.”
Suguru blinks in confusion, crossing his arms then, tilting his head to the side to study his best friend. “Why though?”
Satoru’s hands grip his desk so tightly the knuckles go white. “I don’t know what to tell you, I just do.”
“You want me to break up with her don’t you?”
“Yep.”
“So what, I can be miserable and lonely like you?”
“Fuck you, Sugu. I fuck plenty.”
“And I fuck plenty.”
“Her though.”
“Yeah, her but… we bring girls in.” Satoru blinks at that again, imagining you with another woman makes him stupidly hard in his trousers, and he huffs as he turns away so Suguru wouldn’t notice. “So surprised?”
“She seems like a goody goody.”
Why would Suguru want to fuck another girl anyway, when he had you ?
“Brought Utahime home last week and fucked her.” Satoru glares over at Suguru behind his shoulder.
“Both of you?”
“Mmmhmm.”
“And you eiffel towering over this girl too?”
“No. We haven’t done anything with a guy. She hasn’t wanted to, and yes, I offered. I am not one sided.”
“Hmm.” Is all Satoru answers, then Suguru breaks into a little laugh. “What’s so funny?”
“You wanna fuck her. How did I not see this?”
“Do not! What, no.”
“Maybe if you weren’t such a dick she’d go for it. She thinks you’re hot, you know.” Satoru frowns, turning back to Suguru then.
“What, like you all are poly? Why? Isn’t she… enough?”
“That’s a weird question from you. It’s just what works for us right now, but yes she would be enough for me if she wanted to go exclusive. I was already poly when we met, she was a little hesitant but jumped right into it.”
“Huh. Well, I don’t wanna fuck your girl. That would be…”
“Sure you don’t. It’s like when a kid picks on a girl, so childish. You could have just told me that you wanted to.”
It was beyond that. Satoru didn’t wanna just fuck you, he wanted to be with you, kiss you, worship you, fuck he wanted to breed you even, bend you over his desk and cum inside you. It was horrible, the thoughts, as he jerked off in his bed at night to one of your photos he’d sent himself from Suguru’s phone.
Yep it was that bad.
Even this offer? It would never work.
“Maybe just try to be nice, and spend the night.” Satoru looks at Suguru like he's lost it. How was he so calm about you? About sharing you?
“You want me to fuck your girl with you, Sugu? You crazy?”
“If it would get you all to get along, absolutely.”
“She hates me.”
“No, she should, but she doesn’t.” How could you not hate him? Satoru is wracking his brain, trying to figure you out. Were you perfect? “Anyway I’m out, at least ask her to go to the game with us, would you please? And apologize.”
“I can’t just text her.” Suguru rolls his eyes.
“Why not?”
Because he would lose his mind if your name popped up on his goddamn phone, that’s why.
“Tell her it’s fine if she comes. I’ll… apologize at the game.”
“That’s as good as it’ll get I suppose. Bye, asshole.”
Suguru leaves, and Satoru’s mind is a blur, as he digests the type of relationship you and Suguru clearly have, and it was not what he expected. Suguru damn near said ‘fuck my girl’. What would he even do if he touched you? If he tasted you. The thought makes his mouth water, makes his cock hard.
Did you taste as good as you smell? Fuck.
He wouldn’t even wanna share you if you were his, not even with his best friend. Luckily he hates you. Right?
***
Your POV
You’re at the basketball game the next day, dressed up in the white and blue little outfit Suguru had picked out for you, the team’s colors, and you sit awkwardly next to Satoru and Suguru. Satoru has barely talked to you all night, but he’s been nothing but civil, which is as good as you can imagine.
You don’t know why he even invited you after the way he talked to you yesterday, and he sure has not apologized, but here you are. It did take some convincing from Suguru though.
(earlier that day)
“Ah, Sugu… oh f-fuck yes, there there!” Suguru’s tongue was lavishing your little clit, and he sucked it into his mouth, chocolate eyes darting up your body as he hummed on it, making you fall apart under him. “S’good… oh my…”
You’re cumming all over Suguru Geto’s handsome face, and he pulls back with a grin, licking his lips, half his face covered in your arousal. “Princess, I could do this all fucking day. Tastes so good.”
“Sugu… you’re so… mnh!” He’s slid a long finger in you now, curling it up just so, and you see stars then. Suguru could play your little cunt like it was an instrument, his fingers finding that little spot and hitting it again and again.
“Cum again for me, please, Princess.” He cooes the words, and you just arch your hips up as he grabs the fat of your ass, using his fingers and tongue in sync, until you’re completely spent, cumming all over his hands as he sips you up.
“Oh my God, Sugu.” You mumble, left incoherent when he leans over you, kissing your lips softly. You moan into it, clinging to him.
“You have the best little pussy.” You flush then.
“You don’t have to say that, I know you enjoy…” Huh, does it hurt your feelings a bit? No it can’t.
“Sure I do enjoy, but I mean it. The best.” He kisses your lips softly. “You’re my favorite.”
You for some reason doubt it.
You hate that.
“What’s wrong Princess? He has you that down? Imma beat his ass when I see him.” You shake your head, sighing then. “He said he thinks you’re beautiful, you know, and that he was surprised you believed him.”
“That’s… no. Just no. I don’t believe that for shit.”
“He did say it. I know he’s being awful but I almost think it’s because he wants to fuck you.”
“What!?” Your brows raise at that, and Suguru sighs, brushing back your hair then.
“We have played with what, four women now? Haven’t you thought of playing with a guy?”
“Are you into guys? I don’t mind if you want to…”
“No, but I’m very comfortable, especially with Satoru. And you’re not very experienced, you know, it could be fun for you. I’m like the only guy you’ve been with damn near.”
“What you’re hinting at is insane. I know you shared women but they weren’t girlfriends or anything right?”
“No, they weren’t. But sometimes I wonder if you all need to fuck this frustration on each other.”
“Satoru would never wanna fuck me.”
“Baby…”
“What, did you not hear him?”
“Yeah I did, and I’m so sorry you had to go through that. But let’s not bullshit here, the man can’t get his goddamn eyes off you.”
“In hatred! Anyway no, just no. It would never happen.”
“So you don’t wanna fuck him, hmm?” Suguru grasps you by your wrists then, and you shake your head, crying out when he slides his fingers down your tummy, trembling under his hand. “What about if I have him eat this pretty pussy while you suck my cock?”
“Suguru, what!? Like he would. Silly- mnh… stop.” He’s rubbing your little entrance, and you start soaking his hand, embarrassingly.
“Don’t want us both to eat you out, at the same time?” You whine, pathetically, as Suguru grins then, so handsome and devious. “She sure does.”
“She’s stupid. I only want you.” Then you frown a bit, as you think of the situation you two are in. “S-Suguru… will you always want other women?”
He frowns too, shaking his head, kissing down your jaw. “If you ever wanted to be exclusive I would for you, Princess. Say the word.”
“Would it be like a sacrifice-”
“Not at all. I love the fun we have though. But I would not care if it didn’t happen. I think I need to give you some fun, make you feel so beautiful.” He's trailing his hands down your body ever so slowly, and your mind runs wild with visions.
“With Satoru, no, he… would never make me feel that way. Suguru, mnh… please just-”
“Why are you soaking my hand when you say his name?” He whispers those words, and you falter, as images of Satoru hit your eyes, and Suguru's fingers are getting soaked. You shake them away, but Suguru is observant. “He would only be so lucky to fuck you.”
“Do you think I’m really so pretty? When you have others that…”
“The prettiest. Prettiest tits, prettiest face, prettiest pussy.” You melt then, because no matter what fun you all have, it’s always together (exceptions would be when you all agree video is okay) and Suguru always makes you feel special. Maybe you worry too much.
“What if you find someone better?”
“Baby, what’s up with you?” He pulls back and you just sigh. “If this isn’t what you want just tell me...”
“I’m just down on myself.” You pout, and you watch Suguru's concern.
“I know, baby, I am so sorry.” He kisses you sweetly, and you melt, like you always do. “I’ll make sure he’s not a dick anymore. I swear. Trust me.”
“I don’t wanna go, though.”
“Then he wins, fuck that, go and look super hot, and ruin his little pea size brain okay?” You laugh just a bit, but things weigh on you.
Your relationship with Geto is so easy…
Aside from his dick of a friend.
Who hates you.
And who you're vividly picturing. Fuck.
Present
You keep your hands to yourself, your knees knocking together as you watch the game, the men running back and forth, dribbling the ball, throwing it, their sneakers squeaking on polished floors. Your eyes keep drifting over to him, though, and you notice Satoru’s eyes keep straying to your body, making you overheat.
The way his gaze lingers on your legs makes you squirm in your seat, and you can’t help but feel a thrill run through you, despite the tension. His icy glare is gone now, replaced with something softer, something that makes your stomach flip, his lips weren’t in a thin line, they were pouting just a bit. Suguru has a hand on your thigh, and he squeezes it, smiling.
You smile back at him. Why were you in the middle? Was this Suguru’s idea of making you all closer? But why does Satoru’s thigh brushing against yours do insane things to your psyche? Why does the scent of his cologne make you ache to snuggle him when he’s a damn asshole, when he would never want that.
You adore Suguru, when you met him at first it intimidated you, this wild lifestyle he led, but then he made you feel so good, and so included, that you ended up enjoying much of it. And several times now he’d brought up sharing you, only recently today sharing you with him . If Satoru didn’t hate you and call you unattractive, absolutely you would have.
But as it stood, you could tell he hates sitting next to you.
“I’m grabbing drinks, want one Princess?” Suguru asks, touching your hand to shake you out of your reverie. You have to strain to hear him in the loud throngs of the crowd cheering.
“I’ll go-”
“It’s fine, I got it. Satoru, you want a drink?” Satoru peers over at you, and you don’t see the usual anger, it’s a different look. You can’t put your finger on it, but it’s different for sure.
“Yeah, can you just grab me a beer?” Suguru nods, looking back at you again, and you fidget, afraid to be alone with Satoru, even in a crowd.
“Same, please and thanks.” He smiles, leaning down and kissing you then, and he walks away, leaving the two of you awkwardly alone.
The team hits a big play, and you jump up with your little pom poms, wiggling them in the air, as Satoru jumps and shouts loudly. You all bump into each other a bit, and it makes you both tense, pulling away a bit. You scooch further from him when you all sit down again, but he spreads his stupidly long legs even wider, his hand resting next to you.
“I’m sorry I came along.” You say softly, and he looks back at you, sighing a bit, and his eyes make you lose your senses for a moment.
“Don’t be. Suguru wouldn’t come without you.” He brushes that off, so casually, and though that was the truth it was a little harsh to know.
“He would have, I would have made him.”
“Yeah well. It’s not like I’m paying attention to you, I’m watching the game anyway, so it doesn't matter.”
“Yeah, true. Though I wish Suguru would sit here.”
“Don’t like to sit next to me huh?” You roll your eyes, irritated by his haughty tone, and laugh just a bit, without humor.
“As if you like this.” He just studies you, and you almost wish he’d just be mean, because that’s easier to handle than whatever this intense fucking look is.
“Have I complained?”
“Because Suguru asked you to not be so mean.”
“Yeah well.”
No apology, of course. When would someone like Satoru Gojo apologize to you, of all people? You peer over at him in that white dress shirt and those slacks that hug him like a glove, his shades shoved up on his head worth more than your life. The glinting gold watch, where his sleeves rolled up, revealing toned arms with veins wrapped around them.
You turn your attention back to the game, which was going into a bit of a break, leaving you even more awkward next to the man who hates you.
“Can I ask something?”
“Go ahead.”
“Why do you hate me so much? Like… did I offend you or something? Could you please just tell me what to do here?” You’re whispering it, since the words make you emotional, and Satoru’s lips turn down, brushing his silvery hair back with a hand, messing it up just a bit.
“You don’t need to know.” He says, and you glare then.
“I think I have a right to know. I can fix it? Maybe?”
“Can’t fix this.”
“Let me try maybe? I want to meet this amazing, funny, sweet guy Suguru swears you are, the one he loves so much.” You reach your hand out to his thigh, and he glares at it, then at you, his hand yanking yours off then, by your delicate wrist. You blink in confusion.
“You can’t fix why I hate you. Got it? And that doesn’t help. Makes it so much fucking worse.” He mumbles, not letting go of your wrist, his huge hand gripping it, taking it over.
“Sorry.”
“Why, you didn’t do anything. I hate you for nothing that you can control, does that make it better, knowing that?”
You sigh, shaking your head. “You make no sense. If you just tried to know me, you’d see I’m not the worst person ever. Regardless of how you think of my looks, you won’t even give me a chance internally.”
He lets your wrist go, sighing and looking into your eyes, but there’s not the usual anger even now. “I shouldn’t have said that yesterday.”
“Thank you for that. Even if you feel that way it’s just not nice to tell people that they’re… unattractive. Promise I say it in my own mind enough.”
“Then you’re stupid.”
“So I’m unattractive, and stupid, and you hate me.” You look down, those words wrecking you again, and you try not to show any emotion.
“You really think you’re not beautiful?” Your eyes meet, and he looks angry, again at you. You sigh, as your inner turmoil rages looking at him.
“I don’t think I’m beautiful at all. Lately I have been feeling pretty, thanks to Suguru, but that’s kind of new. It doesn’t matter anyway. If you think I’m ugly you don’t have to say it, or judge me for it. It doesn’t matter as much as who I am.”
“So you think what I said is true?”
“I’m sure you and Suguru both get much prettier girls. It’s fine. You’re both very attractive men.” Satoru stares at you more, and it makes you feel so confused, so weird, he won’t stop looking right at you. “What!?”
“You’re not unattractive. At all. I can’t believe I have to say this.”
“You don’t have to. Suguru put you up to-”
“You’re so beautiful all I can think of is how I wanna bury my cock in your pretty mouth.” His words are dangerous whispers, his hands gripping your thighs tight suddenly, and you can’t even think, your body reacting instantly, embarrassingly. “Can’t stop thinking about how badly I wanna fuck you over my desk. How I’d lick that little cunt right now with this stupid skirt driving me nuts.”
“Satoru… what…” You hate what his words do, what this asshole friend of your boyfriend says, his effect. Your nipples are taut against your bra, your tummy feeling that pressure, thighs shifting, and his gaze drops to them like a hawk.
“That’s why I hate you. Because all I think of is fucking my best friend’s girl. And yeah, he even brought it up, what you all do. Wanna know what I think?” He’s brushing your hair back behind your ear, and you’re losing all sense of self, everything fades to the background.
“What do you think?” He laughs, darkly then, his white teeth glinting from the bright fluorescents above.
“That if I had you I’d never want anyone else. That if I had to share you I’d be greedy. I’d lick you first, fuck you first, fuck you so good you can’t even think, can’t even walk. Wreck that little cunt.” His husky words shoot straight through you, the way he looks at you, this hunger in his gaze, it’s insane.
“Are you just fucking with me, Gojo? Is this a joke?” You demand through gritted teeth, and then he laughs again, but it doesn’t hit his eyes, the pupils so dilated the blue was truly hard to handle.
“I wish it was. I hate you because you’re you . You can’t fucking fix it, you can’t buy me expensive tickets, smile at me all pretty, it all makes it worse. Makes me want you more. And so I just hate you completely.”
You take a moment, struggling to process anything he was even saying, as your gaze drifts down his long, lithe body. Although you’d seen Suguru with women, and you’d been with women, you had never felt something like this, intense need clawing away at you. Even with Suguru, who you have such a good time with, you never felt whatever this is.
Was it hate?
What was it?
“I know, you’re so in love you won’t even fuck another guy when Suguru asks too. Loyal when he’s not.”
“We do everything together, or… like I know what he does. He doesn’t hide shit from me, Gojo. He treats me so good.”
“I am sure he does. He’s the best person I know. I just can’t see a world where I have you and want someone.”
His words hit too hard. It's so shocking from his usually cruel lips. “That’s crazy talk, you know, especially…”
“I didn’t mean what I said. Okay? Fucking stupid to think I did.”
“Aw you two are making up, huh?” Suguru sits next to you, handing you both a drink then, and you and Satoru tense up, as your mind whirls. “So, you all gonna fuck this frustration out or what?”
Your eyes go wide with shock, mouth dropping, and you shake your head quickly while you look at him. “Suguru, you can’t be serious about this.”
“Why not. Shoko is coming over tomorrow anyway, why don't we three party tonight.” He winks over at Satoru then.
“You’re gonna fuck Shoko, yuck.”
“Yep and you’re gonna fuck Princess here.” He pats your head, smiling, his eyes closing so adorably like he isn’t talking insane. “What, why can’t you have fun?”
“She doesn’t wanna fuck me.” Satoru says casually, and you gulp then, as he straight up says something so…
False.
“Are you sure about that?” Suguru murmurs, brushing your hair back until it is no longer on your chest, pulling your top back just a bit, and you feel yourself heating up when he’s got your hard nipples basically pressed against the top now. Satoru’s sultry blue gaze hits your breasts, lingering there. “Looks pretty excited to me.”
“Suguru!” You hiss, scowling back at his devious grin, but Satoru is licking his lower lip, making it all glossy, and one of his hands keeps clenching and unclenching into a fist.
“Nothing could make me happier than you two getting along, at least give it a chance. What if you like it, hmm?” He’s nuzzling your neck, and you shift in your seat, biting the inside of your cheek for a moment.
“So you think I’ll fuck her and stop hating her?” Satoru drawls out the words slowly, and Suguru is just rubbing up and down your waist, heightening every insane sensation.
“It’s so good I know you will.”
“Suguru… I doubt that.” You mumble, shyly fidgeting with your thumbs, rolling them around over and over.
“What if I still hate her? Do I get to keep fucking her?” Satoru’s question throws you for a loop, the intent behind his stupidly pretty gaze washing over you, and you feel Suguru’s chuckle behind you.
“No, you have to be nice to her if you want to again.” You scowl at him, then over at Gojo.
“Do I not get a say? I’m not a fuck toy.” You hiss, and Gojo actually smiles then, and it surprises you, how pretty it is. Suguru kisses your neck, laughing against it, while you nervously sip your drink.
“Being out fuck toy does sound fun.” Suguru says softly. “It would be fun for you, too, don’t you think?”
“You really want me to wreck her? She won’t even want you again.” Satoru says, grinning, and Suguru just laughs, grinning back.
“Yeah, you can try but we all know it’s not happening.”
“Have I agreed?”
“Bet she’s soaked.” Suguru is lifting your skirt, in the middle of a game, even though you all were off in a section this was insane, and Satoru’s eyes dart down between your thighs, and you can’t hold in the little whine. “Feel her and find out for me, would you?”
“She doesn’t want me to.” Satoru’s voice is husky, then you feel your thin control snap, as you say fuck it all and take his hand. You meet his shocked gaze, then you look around, and put his hand on your thigh.
“Stop acting like you know me, Gojo.” You raise your brows then, and his smirk eats at you, his thumb sliding against your soft inner thigh making goosebumps prick along your skin.
“Y’know this is the most you have gotten along.”
“Am I up to caliber, though?” You whisper those words, and Gojo’s hand slides even further up, all while his other hand brushes against your hip, nearly touching Suguru’s hand.
“We’ll have to see huh?”
“Cocky little shit.”
“Oooh, so she does have some backbone huh?” Satoru’s grinning at you, with those sharp fangs glinting, lashes lowering over his eyes. And you feel Suguru’s grip tighten on your waist.
“Fuck you, Gojo.” Suguru snorts behind you.
“Okay… sex?” You both scowl over to Suguru again.
Sex, with Satoru Gojo?
“Why don’t you just fuck him, hmm?”
“Who’s to say he hasn’t?” Satoru blows Suguru a kiss and you sigh.
“Am I really gonna do this! With Satoru Gojo?”
“You should be so lucky, damn brat-”
“Satoru….” Suguru starts again, exhaustion clear in his voice.
“Listen, I didn’t turn it down.” He slides his hand fully up, and when his thumb presses where you’re hot and sticky against your panties, his breath hitches, as does yours, both of you just stare at each other, unable to speak. For a long moment, until his thumb rubs in a gentle circle and you damn near whimper.
Fuck.
Yep you were going to do this.
***
In the car on the way home you are sitting next to Satoru and Suguru as their driver Kiyotaka takes you all back to Suguru’s place. Satoru is oddly quiet, you notice, poking around on his phone. You know he still hates you, but his hand is casually on your thigh now, rubbing in little circles, and Suguru is smiling down at you, popping little kisses on your forehead.
“You sure like her thighs for hating her so much.” Suguru murmurs lazily, and Satoru smirks, not looking up from his phone.
“I didn’t say I hate her body. Quite the opposite.” You struggle against the feelings raging inside of you. You had never done anything like this, as wild as you and Suguru were with women, it seemed so different, especially with Satoru. His hands are so big, even bigger than Suguru’s, his fingers are so long they take up most of your thigh.
“You like my legs hmm?” You say softly, and Satoru does lift his gaze from his phone, amused expression clear on his features.
“They’re really short, but they’re nice.” You laugh a bit at that, and it’s the first time you think you’ve laughed around him. His grip tightens a bit at the sound.
“Is that almost a compliment?” He shrugs a shoulder, poking back at his phone then.
“Bet they’d be nice around my face.” Your tummy clenches again at the words, at the imagery, and Suguru seems to pick up on that, his hand coming to your other thigh now, bringing your attention to him.
“You like that idea, Princess?” His voice is teasing, and you gulp, trying not to give Satoru so much satisfaction. But you just give a little nod. “Look at you two, I’m so proud right now.”
“Okay dad.” Satoru leans back some, his thighs even wider, god could he just sit normal you wonder, not pressed so against you. Suguru is the same way, and you’re pressed in the middle of the two of them, your body viscerally reacts, to the point you’re overheated.
“Wonder who you’ll call daddy?” Suguru teases you, and you flush.
“It’ll be me.” Satoru says, cocky and self assured.
“Nah, totally me.”
“Neither of you.” You say, crossing your arms, and they both look at each other, then back at you, grinning.
“You challenging us right now? That won’t end well for you.” Satoru says softly, leaning close, your breath catches with how he looks at you, so intent, his lips tempting you too closely.
Before you can speak, you’ve pulled up to Suguru’s place, and you thankfully can get out of the car, breathe air, but you now have no clue what you’re in for. The way Satoru’s hungry, lewd gaze and Suguru’s easy seductive one glaze over your body, the heat you clearly feel from both of them, the tension between the man who hates you and the man that really likes you…
What are you in for?
And in what world does it end well?”
***
Satoru’s POV
Satoru watches as Suguru leads you, hand in hand to his sleek condo, and as he looks around he wonders, where does he fuck you, where does he lick you? Where does he fuck other women with you? And why the fuck does that thought make him so angry for you. He loves Suguru, and he himself was quite open sexually, this isn’t the first time he and Suguru would share.
But he can’t even imagine having to take turns.
He wants to bring you back to his place, to fuck you senseless, make you forget anything you ever knew. He’d felt your heat, felt that sticky wetness, your soft skin… it was something that he had avoided, touching you in any way. He knew it would make everything ten times worse, and so it did.
When you turn to look up at him, with your gorgeous eyes, your lips parted just slightly, hair a little messy from the day, falling softly around your face… it takes everything in him not to throw you against a wall and fuck into you. It takes every effort not to snatch you up and literally be a horrible friend, take you away, this is what you do to him.
It’s why he hates you.
What effect did you have? And how the fuck could he take turns on you? But he can’t turn it down, no, he needs to feel you, and if this is how it happens, he’ll do it. Satoru Gojo is desperate for you, and that’s something he’s never been in his life, shit came easy for him. Why were you so difficult?
“Drinks? Let’s get drinks.” Suguru pats Satoru on the shoulder, then pats you on the ass, pressing you two together a bit. You look down shyly, long lashes casting shadows on your pretty features.
God you’re perfect, aren’t you?
“Still hate you.” Satoru mumbles, and you just look at him, brows furrowing a little bit, licking your lips and tempting him to no end. How would they feel on his cock, that little tongue sliding against his tip?
“I know you hate me. So why are you doing this?” You whisper, as you two awkwardly stand in Suguru’s living room alone, far too close. Satoru towers over you, you’re so small compared to him. He sees you’re nervous too.
“You’re stupid.” You scowl up at him, and fuck if you’re not stupidly hot when you do so. “I already told you why.”
“But it’s… not… you won’t… what if you don’t like it?” You mumble, and he watches insecurities eat you alive, how had he not noticed before? He just assumed because you’re so pretty you knew.
“What, you need practice sucking dick? Heard you like to eat pussy.” You scoff, rolling your eyes at him. “Or are you a pillow Princess?”
“I like to please.” Your eyes hit his body then, desire reflected in them, and he itches to touch you, he itches to be sweet to you, but he can’t. Nope.
“We’ll see if it’s passable. If not, I'll give some tips.” You laugh, a little bark of laughter, shaking your head.
“Suguru likes it just fine.”
“I sure do. She’s great at blow jobs.” Suguru hands you both a drink, and Satoru can’t stop his gaze locked on those supple, full lips of yours. “Guess what, believe it or not Satoru’s good at eating pussy. From what I’ve seen. But, I’m better.”
“No way, you know I’d win.” Suguru looks at you, and you’re all flushed in the cheeks as you delicately sip your drink. Why is every movement you make just torturing him?
“He’s really, really good though. Licked an accidental I love you out of me.” You tease, and Suguru laughs at that, but you look a little sad he notices.
“Ya didn’t say it back, Sugu?” Suguru grows serious for a moment at Satoru’s obvious question.
“It’s just still early, and she kind of… took it back.”
“I was embarrassed for sure.”
Imagine those words from your lips. Satoru’s grip is so tight on the glass he feels it will just break, shutting his eyes for a moment and sucking in a breath. Was he really going down this path, knowing what would happen when you would touch him, when he would taste you? Knowing he’d get more obsessed, fuck it was just so much easier to hate you.
But how could he turn it down?
It would be such a shitshow but so worth it.
“We’ll have to see who’s better, huh?” Suguru teases, smirking over at Satoru, and he just eyes your perfect little form slowly, humming to himself.
“First, less clothes.” Satoru says softly, and watches your nervous habits, how you bite your lower lip so hard you leave teeth marks, how your hands tremble as you set your drink down. “You're scared, huh?”
“Nope. Sure not.” He smirks at you, but that freezes when you slip your shaky little fingers to your top, popping open one button, then the other, and he has to grip the fuck out of the counter next to him. Your soft, supple skin is revealed with each one, until your breasts spill out, just left in a lacy blue bra.
Fuck he could cum just seeing you.
“Not bad.” He is so full of shit, and Suguru is rolling his eyes, you blink a little, looking down. Fuck he hates himself. But if he’s sweet to you… “Let’s see the rest then I’ll judge.”
“She’s beautiful.” Suguru comes and you lift your long hair out of the way, and he easily unsnaps your bra, then slides it down your shoulders, kissing them, the way Satoru wants to, but he wouldn’t be gentle like Suguru, not if you were his. He would suck and bite every inch of your skin. “There we go, Princess.”
He lets your bra fall to the floor, and you’re bare from the waist up, and he sees them then, your lush breasts, perfect and pretty. Your little nipples are puffy and pronounced, begging for his mouth on them, for his fingers to pinch them. And you just stand there, your shoulders set high, as Satoru eats you up, and fuck if you’re not the most perfect thing he’s seen.
Suguru looks at Satoru, his dark eyes seductive in their glint, as if he could tell how badly Satoru wants you. Your perfect breasts are heaving with your panting little breaths, while Suguru is running his hands down your slender little arms. You look at Satoru, then Suguru, then down, as if you’re a little shy finally.
“Um… up to caliber?” You ask, and he hears it, the bitterness in your sultry little voice. And you should be bitter, mad, fuck you shouldn’t let him see this, should you? But here you are, and you look so fucking gorgeous he can’t take it.
He steps up to you then, taking two fingers and tilting your chin up, looking into those eyes he’d made cry yesterday. “Gorgeous.”
You gasp, and Suguru grins then, pecking a little kiss on your neck, as Satoru’s hands trail down your face, your throat, that delicate collarbone, and he watches your breaths increase. He can hear that little whine you try to hide from the back of your throat, he can feel your energy, your heat near him.
“Told you, baby. You’re beautiful.” Suguru is right, of course he is, and Satoru is damn near speechless at a pair of tits, it’s pathetic. You make him pathetic, don’t you, it’s why…
He should hate you.
No he does hate you.
But…
“Thank you… both.” You whisper, and Satoru doesn’t deserve your thanks, for one stupid word, when you were so much more.
You should hate him.
Why don’t you?
“Why don’t you feel them, Satoru? How nice they are.” Suguru is running his hand around your waist, pressing your breasts up then, and you’re crying out softly, that pleasure on your face making you so sexy. Satoru’s hands slide down, and he feels them, the weight in his hands, and he can’t hold back his own moan then.
Your eyes fly to his, as he cups your breasts in his big hands, and he sees it then, clear as fucking day. You want him. As his thumbs brush your nipples, and your head leans back, for Suguru’s mouth to kiss up the side of it, one of your little hands clutch his shirt, pulling him closer, the other, on one of Suguru’s arms.
“Perfect.” Satoru says softly, and you gasp, but then Satoru leans so close to your lips, you start to shake in Suguru’s hold.
“Perfect.” Suguru agrees, and Satoru watches you melt then, as his lips descend, and he can taste your sweet breath on his lips, it intoxicates him to no end. “You gonna kiss him, Princess?”
You lean up, as he leans down, and your hand slides up to Satoru’s face then, so tiny, a thumb swiping over his lower lip, and then Satoru’s eyelids are low over his eyes, as he presses his lips to yours. You moan at it, so quiet he almost couldn’t hear, vibrating his lips, and then Satoru knows it, knows it when he melts into your kiss, knows it when his tongue swipes into your hot mouth.
It’s all over for him.
And he hates you for it.
***
Your POV
Satoru’s lips send electrical sparks through yours, it’s absolutely insane, as his big hands knead your breasts, and Suguru is hard against your lower back, his big hands on your hips, pressing. But when Satoru’s tongue slides in your mouth, and you drink in his moans? When you taste his breath, when you feel that slick start to dribble from your little cunt?
Fuck. This is bad, it’s bad. It’s bad.
“Hate you.” He whispers then, right on your lips, right when his eyes drink you in lazily, when he squishes your breasts in his hands. It was so quiet you don’t even think he spoke, more moved his lips and you understood.
Satoru Gojo hates you.
Right?
Chapter 2
Ao3: https://archiveofourown.org/works/58179796/chapters/148138651
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ghsface · 1 month ago
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Not sure if you are taking request but can we get an angst with Matt where like reader and him are dating for years but recently comments have been getting to her or people have been following her home and eventually she decideds to break up with Matt but Matt takes things to in his hands where he’s tells ppl to stop and they get back together?(Lol sorry if it didn’t make sense but thank you)
𝜗𝜚 new messege .ᐟ.ᐟ
Hey gorgeous, I really liked this idea, I hope you like it too.
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You are the only thing I want - Matt Sturniolo
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Sumary: You and Matt had a secret relationship and when you decide to make it public everything goes wrong...
Warnings: angst hate messages towards reader, this is just angst with a happy ending
A/n: Leave me ideas to write in my inbox because I'm running out of ideas. I'm sorry if something is misspelled or not understood. My first language is not English. By the way, what do you think of my new theme, in my opinion, it's very cute like the baby pink and light brown. 🩷🧸
⛧°。 ⋆༺ ✮ ༻⋆。 °⛧
It had been exactly fourteen months since the first time you and Matt kissed. You hadn't imagined then how important he would become in your life, nor that being with him would be so complicated. Because, although you adored each other and the bond between you grew every day, that relationship had to be kept secret. It was a mutual decision, made for practical reasons. At first, the thrill of secrecy made everything more exciting. But now, you both felt exhausted.
You had spent too many nights talking secretly in the car, dates arranged down to the last detail so as not to be seen, or moments of solitude where, instead of shouting to the world how much you loved each other, you had to hide it like a forbidden secret. The situation was starting to weigh on you.
That night, you were on the couch at Matt's house. He was holding you, and your head was resting on his shoulder while you felt his fingers playing with the strands of your hair.
"Aren't you tired of this?" he asked quietly, breaking the silence.
You raised your head and looked at him, searching his eyes for what he really wanted to say.
"What are you talking about?"
"About having to hide… about not being able to tell anyone how amazing you are." Matt smiled, but his eyes reflected a sadness that you shared.
"Of course I'm tired. Sometimes I wish we could be a normal couple".
"Then let's do it", he suggested, giving your hand a squeeze. "Let's make it public. I don't care what others say. I want to be with you, and I want everyone to know it."
The idea made you feel butterflies in your stomach. The love you had for Matt was bigger than any fear, and the fact that he was willing to share your relationship with his fans made you feel special. You decided to announce it on social media.
When Matt uploaded the first photo of the two of you together, you felt a mix of excitement and nervousness. The image showed an intimate moment, a selfie of the two smiling on the beach, with the sunset in the background. The caption was simple but powerful: “Over a year together, and we’re just getting started.”
For the first few hours, the response was overwhelmingly positive. There were comments from fans congratulating and supporting them: “They look beautiful together,” “Finally someone makes Matt happy as he deserves,” “What a great couple they make!”
But over time, other types of messages began to appear. “Her? Is he really with her?”, “She’s not enough for him,” “She’s only with him for fame, I’m sure she’ll use him to become famous,” “Poor Matt, he deserves someone better.”
At first, you tried not to take them seriously. But every time you checked your phone, more of those comments appeared. There were people criticizing your appearance: “She’s too basic for someone like him,” “She’s not even pretty, how dare she date Matt?”, “Matt deserves someone more attractive.”
The words cut you deeply. You knew you shouldn’t let those comments affect you, but you couldn’t stop the doubts from starting to poison your mind. Every time you looked in the mirror, you started to see those flaws that others mentioned. Insecurity began to invade you in a way you hadn’t experienced before.
Matt tried to comfort you whenever he noticed you looking down. Sometimes, during the night, he would catch you reading the comments on your phone, and he would simply take the phone away from you and hold you, whispering that he loved you and that was all that mattered.
“You don’t need to listen to those people, babe,” he said, looking at you with a sincere expression. “They don’t know anything about you, they don’t know how amazing you are.”
The comments didn’t stop, though. Every day they became crueler and crueler. Rumors began to circulate suggesting that you were only with Matt to gain followers, or that you were using his fame to make yourself known. People commented on every aspect of your life, from how you dressed to how you looked without makeup. There were those who said things like, “It’s obvious that she dresses like that to get attention, can’t she dress up better?” or “She should thank Matt for giving her a chance, she’s just an ordinary girl.”
At some point, comments were no longer the only thing. People started following you home, taking photos of you without your permission, and even trying to get close to you to ask you invasive questions. You felt watched and judged at every turn, and little by little, you started to believe that you weren't enough, that maybe all those people were right.
The pressure began to be unbearable. Your self-esteem plummeted, and every time you looked in the mirror, you saw someone who, according to the world, wasn’t enough. Matt tried to cheer you up, to remind you how much he loved you, but you couldn’t stand it anymore.
One night, after one of your most difficult conversations, you asked him to meet you. Matt came over to your house, and as soon as you saw him, he knew something was wrong. He stared at you in silence as you searched for the words to say to him.
“Matt… I can’t do this anymore,” you whispered, your voice shaking.
“What are you saying?” he asked, frowning, clearly worried.
“I can’t be in this relationship anymore. The pressure, the comments… they’re tearing me apart. I can’t take it anymore.
Matt looked at you, unable to process what you were saying. He was trying to understand, but the pain in your eyes made it clear to him that you were really hurt.
“But… I love you, and I don’t care what other people think. They don’t understand what we have.”
“I know, Matt. I know you love me, but I can’t go on like this. I’m losing myself in all of this.” It's getting harder and harder to get up and pretend everything is okay.
You took a deep breath, trying to hold back your tears. “Matt… I can’t keep going like this. I can’t handle the pressure, the comments, the people following me everywhere. I feel like I’m losing myself, and I don’t want to drag you into this. I think… I think it’s best that we break up.”
The goodbye was hard and heartbreaking for both of us. In the days that followed, Matt stayed away from social media, not mentioning anything about what had happened. He isolated himself, trying to understand how the love of his life had to walk away because of the cruelty of others.
Weeks went by as you tried to get over the situation, even though you felt empty. However, one afternoon, while you were checking your social media, you noticed a post from Matt that surprised you.
It was a photo of you and him that Nick had taken, and the message was clear and direct: “I don't give a shit what others say about my girlfriend. I'm with her because I love her, and that's never going to change.”
Matt's public statement was not only a message to his fans, but a promise that he was willing to stand up for what they had. Feeling a torrent of emotions, you decided to call him. When he answered, his voice trembled with emotion.
"I can't go on without you" he said quietly, while you tried to hold back your tears.
"Me neither, Matt… I love you."
That night, they met again, and between tears and hugs, they knew that this time there would be nothing and no one that could separate.
⛧°。 ⋆༺ ✮ ༻⋆。 °⛧
your reblogs and replies are always appreciated dearly, and feel free to leave a request ✮
⤷ Tags... @matthewsroses @sophand4n4 @strnilolover @lolastrniolo
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katiascraft · 2 months ago
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Hi!! I've been obsess with your works
Now, hear me out because your poll stroke an idea in me 👀👀
How about: Argentine!Reader x Oscar Piastri, and starts teaching him spanish so he can understand Franco's Interviews
Thank you!!
Ooooh yes yes yes!!! Here it is and I hope you like it 💌 thank you for your requests and support! I really appreciate it mwak mwak 😙 (sorry it’s a bit late but better late than never!)
——————————————————————————————
“Indirectas Directas” | OP81
Part 1 -> “Made in Argentina: The Series” (Oscar’s Version)
Parings: Oscar Piastri x Argentine!Reader.
Summary: you and Oscar have known each other since your best friend Franco Colapinto started competing in F3. You always had a crush on the Australian pilot. You have been friends for a while now but the friendship got closer since Franco got in F1 and you can see each other every race weekend. The butterflies starts for both of you. Do you really just wanna be friends? You teaching him “piropos” from your country may have subliminal messages.
Now playing: “IMÁN (Two of Us)” by Maria Becerra.
Word count: +1.2k.
Warnings: a few curse words. Pure fluff. Not a native English speaker so there could be (so many) errors. Not proofread.
Author’s note: alrightyyyyy I hope this is good! And I really recommend Maria! I love herrrr my queen!! I did my best with the piropos jajaja Don’t forget to like or reblog! And follow me so we can be friends :3 (and drink mate together!)
MASTERLIST
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“Hola, todo bien?” Oscar said carefully and weirdly remembering what you taught him a few seconds ago. You nodded proud of his Spanish.
“Todo bien, ¿qué contas?” You said in your Argentine accent making him open his eyes wildly panicking. He loved your voice in Spanish; it was slightly higher pitched than in English. In English you have a deeper voice for some reason. Of course he asked about it and you explained it may be because of the pronunciation of the words. It's really so different from one language to the other.
“What the hell did you ask?” He said giggling a little, making you laugh too.
“I asked you what’s up” you explained and wrote down that phrase in the little notebook he brought with a pen. All mc claren branded.
The friendship between you two has become closer with each race. You were good friends before but not that close. It was something either of you couldn’t explain. Like your bodies were driven directly to one another unconsciously. You didn’t want to think too much about it. You didn’t want to overthink it.
His face was like ‘oh yeah right it makes sense’. He smiled at your handwriting so rounded and legible. Unlike his. His was a little messy.
“Yo estoy carrera hoy” he tried to answer it without asking how to. You laughed and he blushed. “This is embarrassing, it's really hard to connect the words” he said shyly and you found it so cute.
“It was close though don’t feel bad. Spanish it’s super complicated for non-Latin language speakers. We have like 20 tenses and shit. It’s a mess” you explained to cheer him up. He loved the fact you knew so much about languages because you also knew how to talk Portuguese and Italian pretty perfectly in his opinion. He has heard you even trying to speak French with Pierre last weekend. He was impressed.
“Yeah I get it now” he said grinning. “Must be nice to flirt in Spanish like I don’t know like you automatically sound sexier and more interesting” he said, making you laugh. “No really like I heard Carlos talking to an interviewer the other day and I think I am in love actually” he said, making you laugh even more. He loved making you laugh. Your laugh was like a drug to him. You looked way too cute doing so.
“Well I don’t know actually but in Argentina we have some top level flirting like really great phrases. Let me teach you some. Wait I’ll look for some on google so I can help myself remember” you said excited about it because you knew it was gonna be bizarre and funny at best.
“Phrases? Like roses are red and that kind of stuff?” He asked curiously and you nodded looking at your phone.
He couldn’t help but get distracted by the way you looked. Like every other race weekend you were wearing one of the million Argentina tees you have in your wardrobe. Your skin was glowing because of the sunscreen making your freckles stand out even more. You dyed your hair blond a few weeks ago and it looked incredible on you. He wouldn’t have expected that change but it looked so good on you. Anyway, he was convinced that anything you do to your hair will always look good always. Because you were beautiful. And he thought that was dangerous. You’re supposed to be friends right? And he knows Franco will kill him if he finds out he likes you. But he couldn’t help it. You were so interesting to him. You went everywhere with your mate and sang a lot of football songs he didn’t understand but you looked so happy singing them with Franco. Like he was captivated by your foreign beauty. So different from Australia or Europe or even the United States. You were loud and always laughing. Your bright smile always makes everyone so happy. All of the boys loved you. You were the life of every party. And you also knew so much about formula 1 it was impressive. Then you told him you were studying for an engineering degree and everything made sense. You loved the sport. And you were the proud friend. He loved that you were so passionate about everything. Even now that you have this teacher and student dynamic, you take it so seriously. He loved it. And he liked it even more because he knew that you were a teacher back in your country. And he could see how much you love to teach and you were actually really good at it.
“Alright I found the first one!” You said already laughing. “Okay ready?” He nodded, smiling, waiting for your magic voice to pronounce the weirdest shit but sound amazing.
“Mi amor, quien fuera cemento para sostener ese monumento” you said and started laughing because his face was a poem.
“What the hell?” He said laughing as well. “What does it mean? It really sounded terrible, " he said dramatically.
“It means: my love, who could be cement to hold that monument” he bursted out laughing.
“What? I don’t know if it’s geniuous or rude to be honest” he said sincerely making you laugh.
“Oh my god that was so cringe I love it” you said looking for another one.
“Don’t even try to make me pronounce that last one please” he warned you funny. You denied with your head.
“Okay I found another one listen: tu con tantas curvas y yo sin frenos. Try to translate it” you said because there were words you already taught him.
“Oh my god alright. Repeat it please?” You repeated it and he thought for a few seconds.
“Uh tu curvas y yo frenos?” He said confused. You giggled a little but applauded proudly.
“Yes! You're getting better Oscky” you said sweetly. “It was: you with so many corners and I have no brakes” you said, smiling funny.
“Oh like the curves of the body right?” You nodded at his questions. “Oh alright I get it! So is like double meaning”
“Exactly” you answered. “Alright last one: besar es el lenguaje del amor, te importaría comenzar una conversación conmigo?” You said blushing. Your subconscious chose this one without leaving you a warning.
“You said something with kiss right?” He asked and you nodded. He blushed too. You were like two teenagers blushing and giggling.
“I said: kissing it’s the language of love. Would you mind starting a conversation?” You explained.
“You wanna kiss me?” His words slipped through his lips.
“Maybe I do” your words slipped through your lips.
You were both so red. An awkward silence made its presence.
“Oscar, sorry to interrupt but Zac is calling us both. Hey y/n, you good darling?” Lando appeared out of nowhere so save yourselves from the worst silence situation you’ve ever been into. Lando hugged you kissing your cheek and you smiled at him. Oscar took his things ready to go.
“All good Land. Hope you have a good reunion. See you after the practices!” You said waving to him. And Oscar gave you a cheeky smile.
Holy shit you’re fucked.
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appocalipse · 2 years ago
Text
RIGHT WHERE I WANT TO BE : ̗̀➛ SIRIUS BLACK
summary: it's only when lily accidentally spills amortentia on you and all you can smell is cigarettes and dog fur that you realize you're in love with sirius — probably the only person in the world you shouldn't be in love with.
"Oh, crap!" Lily seems on the verge of panic as she stares at the fresh stain on your clothes. "I'm so sorry!"
Somewhat shocked, you reach your hand to the front of your uniform and try to rub it away. It's no use. "It's okay," you assure her gently, relieved that the liquid didn't spill on the clean set of clothes you were folding instead, "it was an accident."
You put the clothes safely away in the trunk near your bed. They still have the fresh and clean scent of lavender. Your uniform, however…
Lily points her wand at your chest, and the stain quickly disappears. She had rushed through the entrance of the dormitory fast as lightning, crashing right into you and spilling…
Well, what exactly?
"Lily," you bring a hand to your own face, sniffing, then sniffing again. "What is this? It smells like a wet dog and-"
Your eyes meet and you immediately dislike the look on her face. Too much restrained excitement slowly bubbling up...
"-cigarettes…" you trail off, some sort of realization dawning on you way too late.
It can't be.
Lily bites her lower lip as if trying to hold back a smile. "Is that what it smells like to you?"
You also catch the scent of quill ink and freshly brewed coffee, so it can only be…
You put your hand away from your nose as if it's on fire.
"Tell me this is not what I think this is."
"If you're not thinking of Amortentia, then yes."
"Why would you brew Amortentia?!"
"For Professor Slughorn," she sees the confusion etched on your face and looks positively horrified. "Not for Professor Slughorn to drink! Ew! I said I'd like to try brewing one because it's, you know, a bit complicated and I've never tried before. He said he'd give Gryffindor some points if I succeeded. I didn't know you would… you know, smell Sirius."
"I never said I smelled him!"
"Okay! Okay," Lily raises both hands in surrender. Then, quieter, she adds, "You can pretend all you want."
You sigh. "Did you only have this vial?"
"Well, there should be some potion left in the cauldron, I think."
Great. An opportunity to escape this beyond strange situation. "I'll go get it for you."
"But I-"
You're out the Gryffindor common room before Lily has a chance to question your offer. The need to get away from that impending conversation is stronger than anything else right now.
Your heart is racing as you walk through the corridors of the castle, heading towards the dungeons, where Potions class usually take place. Each step is an effort to calm your turbulent mind and find some peace.
Upon reaching the Potions classroom, you welcome the silent space as you enter. The characteristic smell of magical ingredients and herbs fills your nostrils, bringing a familiar and almost comforting sensation… until you catch that smell. Amortentia.
You look around, searching for Lily's cauldron, which she mentioned leaving behind.
It's not hard to find; the smell is quite distinct, enchanting, all the things you love most in the world somehow united in a single aroma.
The cauldron is sitting on one of the workbenches. You approach cautiously, making sure not to knock anything over. Then you rummage through the shelves for an empty vial and pour some of the potion into it, feeling like you're doing something wrong even though Lily had Slughorn's permission.
The door opens, and you almost drop a row of glass bottles as you turn to look.
"What are you doing here?" he asks.
It's Sirius. Of course, it's him.
He closes the door behind him, and your heart skips a beat as it usually does whenever he's around. He's wearing the Gryffindor uniform, the first two buttons undone, revealing a patch of delicate skin just below his neck.
You don't need to wonder how he got there or why. Chances are, he extracted every piece of information he needed from Lily with little to no effort.
"What are you doing?" he asks calmly. You, on the other hand, don't feel calm at all.
"Nothing, just..."
"Just?" He takes a step closer, and you instinctively move away from the workbench, trying not to show the nervousness you truly feel.
"I just came to get something," you say.
Sirius gives a suspicious glance at the cauldron. "Is it a love potion?" He's a skilled wizard. Skilled enough to know the answer to that question, yet he waits for you to respond.
"Lily made it," you say defensively, holding up the vial containing the potion to illustrate your point unnecessarily.
"And what scent do you smell?" he questions, with a genuine curiosity in his tone that catches you off guard. "What does the potion smell like to you?"
"Lily told you," it's far from a question.
But Sirius has a knack for playing games.
"She told me what?"
"You know what."
This time, you step back as he advances, unable to help yourself, swallowing hard and Sirius notices. He takes another step forward, and you take another step back.
"Sirius," you warn.
In return, Sirius says your name, his tone lighter, more playful, soft as a feather. Then, another step.
You nearly bump your hip against one of the workbenches as you take another desperate step back. Sirius, being Sirius, raises an eyebrow, making no effort to hide his amusement.
It's unfair. It's simply unfair that he's so good-looking, starting at you without feeling the need to averting his gaze. "You don't have to do this," you find yourself saying.
Sirius seems genuinely puzzled.
"Do what?"
You steal a glance in your peripheral vision. The room won't go on forever; you need to say something to get out of this situation before he gets too close. You don't trust yourself near Sirius.
"Turn me down. Be all nice-" you stutter. He keeps advancing toward you. Back almost against the wall, you dodge another workbench and turn to the left, trying to prevent him from cornering you.
Sirius chuckles. "Is that what you think?"
"I'm a big girl. I can take rejection."
He glances in the direction of the cauldron. "Do you want to know what scent I smell?"
"No."
"Leather-"
"Sirius-"
"Gasoline," he raises his chin, nose in the air as if enjoying one scent after another. "Apple pie."
For a moment, you close your eyes. "Stop it."
"And lavender."
Your heart is pounding in your chest. He's not being serious, a little voice in your mind insists. It can't be serious. He's just teasing you... or maybe just being a good friend. Too good a friend.
It would be easier if he wasn't. If he were less kind to you, less handsome, less charming.
It's not easy.
You're breathless, trying to keep your distance from Sirius as he sets a slow advance, a constant tease. It's an internal battle between the desire to give in to the attraction you feel for him and the need to protect yourself — but the latter wins, for now.
"Sirius," you plead, your voice quiet, "stop"
He pauses for a moment, his gray eyes fixed on yours. "You think I'm joking, don't you? You think I'm just being nice?"
"I... I don't know, Sirius. It's so...confusing."
He takes yet another step towards you, his lips curling into a challenging smile. Always challenging. "Confusing or scary?"
The tension between you two is palpable, and you wonder if he can hear the rapid beating of your heart, threatening to break out of your rib cage any given moment. You know you're fighting your own feelings, afraid of surrendering to something that may - and probably will - end in heartbreak.
"It's not fair," you whisper, trying to keep your voice steady. "It's not fair that you're so... so-"
"So what?" he teases, closer. "So handsome? So charming? So... irresistible?"
You can tell he's somehow having fun. You don't understand how he can maintain a playful tone in a moment like this.
You catch a whiff of his cologne, feel the warmth of his body, and your heart races once again. If there's a way to prevent Sirius from getting what he wants, you don't know what it is. "So confusing," you finish, almost in a whisper. "You confuse the hell out of me."
Sirius pauses for a moment, his eyes locked with yours, and you momentarily catch a flicker of something deeper in this playful gaze. He slowly raises a hand and gently, gentler than ever, caresses your face, his fingers tracing a delicate path along your skin.
"I don't see how I could be confusing you," he murmurs, his voice soft and husky. "I thought I was being pretty clear..." It's teasing, of course it is; when it comes to Sirius, few things aren't.
But there's something else behind it, too.
The air grows heavier.
"You're not clear about anything, Sirius," you reply, your voice faltering slightly. "I never know what you're thinking. I never know what you really mean."
"Maybe you're just not paying attention."
You furrow your brow, confused by Sirius' response. He's playing with you, as he always does, but this time it feels more intense, more meaningful. You struggle against the temptation to give in completely, to say something you might not be able to take back.
"I do pay attention, Sirius," you respond, your voice showing determination you're not entirely sure you feel. "It's you who likes to make everything more difficult than it needs to be."
He moves closer once again, so close now that you can feel his breath against your skin, the tip of his nose an inch away from touching yours.
"Do you want me to be clearer?" he whispers, voice laced with a hint of his usual mischief. "Make it easier?"
You swallow, feeling your heart race. You know you can't admit your feelings for him, you can't let your defenses down. Not when he makes a point to hide comfortably behind a facade, away from anything that makes him feel vulnerable.
You need honesty.
"Yes," you whisper, your voice almost faltering. "Yes, I do."
Sirius pauses for a moment, eyes searching yours, and you can feel your breath catch in your throat. Then, slowly, he moves closer and closer still, until his lips almost touch yours.
There is a feeling that you can't quite put into words.
"I want you," he murmurs, an admission that hangs in the air like a charged electric current. "I want to be with you. I want you to be happy– I'll even accept your awful taste in music," he adds with a playful smirk, teasingly referencing your occasional guilty pleasure for a particular genre of music that he often mocks.
A laugh escapes your lips, a combination of relief and affection. His sincerity is pretty close to melting away any remaining doubts that linger in your heart. "I have great taste in music," you state playfully.
Sirius brushes the side of his nose against yours affectionately. "Sometimes," he gives in, voice filled with genuine warmth.
You lean into his touch, savoring the tenderness and intimacy of the moment. It's as if the world around you has faded away, leaving only the two of you in this bubble of shared emotions.
"Sometimes?" you raise an eyebrow, pretending to be offended.
He chuckles, a low and melodic sound that resonates deep within your chest, a sound you don't get to hear as often as you'd like. "You're lucky you're pretty," he teases, his voice filled with affectionate playfulness.
"Oh?"
"I have a soft spot for pretty girls."
You roll your eyes but can't help the smile that forms on your lips. "Flattery will get you nowhere, Black."
Sirius leans in and presses a soft kiss to your cheek, pulling away with a mischievous glint in his eyes.
"Who said I was trying to get anywhere?" he whispers, fingers trailing along the curve of your waist, drawing you closer. "I'm already where I want to be."
Your heart swells with warmth, and you can feel a blush creeping up your cheeks.
"Smooth talker."
It doesn't sound like an accusation when you're about to kiss him.
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