#sorry if the text is wonky i did it on my phone lmao

[nosecondivelived]

unsure if this has been done before, but anyways poly ftw

[nnegan13]

lil gift for paige (@air-bison-yip-yip) ily girl 

textfic, on ao3 here 

set in college!AU, if everyone feels kinda OOC its cuz I personally feel like people are different when they’re texting than when they’re interacting irl so sorry if it feels off lmao it’s still fun if you overlook that part aha 

also the formatting is different bc if I did it the same way I usually do texts in fic this would’ve been So Much Harder 

anyways enjoy!!! 

— 

Martino Rametta to entirely dead inside: head count please 

Eva Brighi: sadly, awake 

Sana Allagui: silvia and fede are still sleeping 

Luchino: Marti Elia says that if you don’t stop turning the lights on and off he’s going to fucking kill you

Luchino: and gio and Sofia are missing 

Eva Brighi: Sofia? 

Sana Allagui: nice 

Martino Rametta: nico’s with me 

Martino Rametta: eyes on ele? 

Eva Brighi: bathroom 

Sana Allagui: someone go tell her not to puke too hard cause I had to clean up last time and I don’t wanna do that again

Eva Brighi: she says fuck you 

Sana Allagui: delightful

— 

Edoardo Incanti to Eleonora Sava: heard you had quite the night 

Eleonora Sava: remind me to never do college again 

Edoardo Incanti: i thought you liked all the higher education shit 

Edoardo Incanti: ya know 

Edoardo Incanti: learning things so you can make ur mark on the world 

Edoardo Incanti: all that sentimental shit 

Eleonora Sava: fuck sentiment 

Eleonora Sava: can you call the police on a university? the school’s trying to kill me 

— 

Giovanni Garau to Eva Brighi: what do you want for breakfast 

Eva Brighi: you’re an angel 

Eva Brighi: but it’s almost noon just come back we’re getting lunch 

— 

Luchino to fede text when u wake up we went to get pizza: turns out I was wrong gio and Sofia weren’t missing 

Luchino: just gio 

Luchino: does anyone actually remember Sofia leaving the party last night? 

Luchino: anyways gio’s back 

Luchino: chicco and edo say they’ll be here in five 

Eva Brighi: shit we’ve left 

Luchino: you did? 

Elia Santini: do you pay attention to anything? 

Elia Santini: anything at all 

Elia Santini: sofia didn’t even come last night ffs 

Elia Santini: they fucking changed the name of the chat dude 

— 

Sana Allagui to Eleonora Sava: when ur done we’re downstairs 

Sana Allagui: please hurry up some of us are starving 

Eleonora Sava: why did you let me drink so much ur supposed to stop this stuff 

Sana Allagui: ur very persuasive when you want to be  

Sana Allagui: are you hurrying or are you just ignoring me now 

Sana Allagui: I’m sending edo to get you 

— 

Sana Allagui to Edoardo Incanti: how long does it take to wrangle your girlfriend 

Edoardo Incanti: not my girlfriend 

Edoardo Incanti: and don’t fucking say stuff like that you’ll give me ideas 

Sana Allagui: so she’s as slow at getting with you as she is at getting dressed? 

Edoardo Incanti: fuck off 

Sana Allagui: I’m hungry, charms 

— 

Edoardo Incanti to Fede Canegallo: when are you taking ur test 

Fede Canegallo: why 

Fede Canegallo: need me out of the apartment or smth? 

Fede Canegallo: miss sava coming over? 

Edoardo Incanti: dick 

Edoardo Incanti: i guess you aren’t coming to pizza then  

Fede Canegallo: you don’t even care 

Fede Canegallo: you can just take ele now 

Edoardo Incanti: there’s nine other people with us 

Fede Canegallo: you’d still get down then n there if you were given the chance  

— 

Eva Brighi to Fede Canegallo: edo says he’s disowning you 

Eva Brighi: what toppings do you like on ur pizza 

— 

Eleonora Sava to Giovanni Garau: did i leave my shit at yours 

Eleonora Sava: please say yes 

Giovanni Garau: yeah its here 

Giovanni Garau: [pic] 

Eleonora Sava: blessings from above 

Eleonora Sava: are you joining us or no? 

Eleonora Sava: Eva says to send you the tongue emoji but I’m not feeling nasty today 

Eleonora Sava: she’d send you one herself but she’s got pizza grease on her fingers and doesn’t want to get her phone dirty 

Giovanni Garau: tell her that’s sexy of her 

— 

Edoardo Incanti to Eleonora Sava: it’s rude to text at the table 

Eleonora Sava: desperate times, mr. hypocrite 

Edoardo Incanti: who’s getting ur table manners so wonky 

Eleonora Sava: wouldn’t you like to know 

Edoardo Incanti: i would, yes 

Eleonora Sava: ur no fun 

Eleonora Sava: just gio, I left my stuff at his this morning

Eleonora Sava: and I’m worried that if I go back to get it I’ll be roped into another midterms drinking game like last night 

Eleonora Sava: he’s not exactly being the most helpful right now 

Edoardo Incanti: want me to get them for you? 

Eleonora Sava: my knight in shining armor 

Eleonora Sava: don’t you have your own midterms to studying for? I don’t want to take time away from that 

Edoardo Incanti: its nbd 

Edoardo Incanti: how bout this 

Edoardo Incanti: I’ll get ur books and you come study at mine and make sure I actually get shit done instead of playing fifa all night 

Eleonora Sava: deal

Eleonora Sava: wait if I rat you out for playing video games instead of joining us last night can we still do that or no  

— 

Eva Brighi to *plays Baby K even harder*: @chicco @edo @fede ur all the WORST 

Eva Brighi: fifa instead of drinks? 

Eva Brighi: I’m appalled I really am 

Edoardo Incanti: who knew appalled was even in ur vocabulary 

Edoardo Incanti: and why are you texting about this we’re all here 

Eva Brighi: fede isn’t and I want to express my anger at all 3 of you at the same time 

Chicco Rodi: when fifa calls it calls 

Federico Canegallo: doesn’t make it sound better chicco 

Federico Canegallo: nd some of us like having working brains to get through midterms with 

Eva Brighi: who are you and what have you done with fede 

Federico Canegallo: fuck off Eva

Edoardo Incanti: its true high school fede would be ashamed 

Elia Santini: last week fede would be ashamed 

Elia Santini: I’m ashamed 

— 

Eleonora Sava to Edoardo Incanti: eva’s reading my texts over my shoulder I’m sorry 

Eleonora Sava: please let me study at urs they haven’t killed you yet 

Eleonora Sava: I will spam you with pleases until you say yes 

Edoardo Incanti: are you done eating 

Edoardo Incanti: lets just go now 

— 

Sana Allagui to we’ve reached 40 days and 40 nights in relationships wilderness ladies and germs: barrage of obnoxious texts? 

Silvia Mirabella: they’re leaving to go study 

Silvia Mirabella: both of them are too straight laced to actually think of doing otherwise 

Silvia Mirabella: leave ‘em be 

Sana Allagui: they left pizza early 

Sana Allagui: and now we only have one car to get back 

Sana Allagui: chicco’s not going to let me DJ so what’s even the point anymore 

Sana Allagui: it’s what they deserve

Chicco Rodi: when did I say that 

Giovanni Garau: i’m coming n I’m bringing my car don’t get ur panties in a twist 

Sana Allagui: stop thinking about my panties gio 

Giovanni Garau: ffs 

Elia Santini: Sana i’m behind you 

Sana Allagui: many thanks 

Federico Canegallo: I’ve filled my obnoxious quota earlier I’m too tired to do anything else 

Martino Rametta renamed the group what happened to having a working brain fede? 

Eva Brighi: Marti you shit 

Eva Brighi renamed the group we’ve made it to 40 days and 40 nights in relationship wilderness ladies and germs 

Eva Brighi: literally the only established rule of this chat is that we only change the name to keep track of the days 

Martino Rametta: this is exhausting 

— 

Chicco Rodi to Rocco Martucci: do you have the chat muted

Rocco Martucci: sorry who is this? 

— 

Eleonora Sava to Eva Brighi: Eva 

Eleonora Sava: Eva I’m struggling 

Eva Brighi: you left pizza early to go study with edo I am not speaking to you 

Eleonora Sava: evaaaaaa 

— 

Eva Brighi removed Eleonora Sava from Le MAT&T 

Eva Brighi: ele WILL try to thirst text you today do not answer her 

Eva Brighi added Eleonora Sava to Le MAT&T 

Eleonora Sava: sorry what the fuck was that for

Silvia Mirabella: no you don’t get to protest you’ve abandoned us 

Silvia Mirabella: go study miss sava I’m disappointed in you, frankly

— 

Eleonora Sava to Federica Caciotti: are you guys at gio’s 

Eleonora Sava: Fede? 

—

Federico Canegallo to Giovanni Garau: how’s it going over there 

Giovanni Garau: we don’t have dumb sticks up our asses and aren’t studying so it’s going well 

Federico Canegallo: Eva if I wanted to talk to you I would’ve texted you 

Federico Canegallo: give gio the phone 

— 

Eva Brighi to Federico Canegallo: fuck you 

— 

Eleonora Sava to Sana Allagui: are you guys at gio’s 

Sana Allagui: ERROR 404: The person you are trying to reach is not available. Check your connection and try again later. 

— 

Sana Allagui to Le MAT&T: [screenshot] 

Sana Allagui: and here we have the rare procrastinating ele sava in her natural habitat 

Eva Brighi: what a beautiful creature 

Federica Caciotti: truly moving to see such majesty in nature 

Silvia Mirabella: i can’t believe you’ve captured her on record 

Eleonora Sava: I know you’re all sitting in the same room laughing at each other 

Eleonora Sava: I’m never speaking to you again

—

Federico Canegallo to Edoardo Incanti: so are you guys still studying 

Federico Canegallo: or are you fucking now

Federico Canegallo: because if you’re fucking I’m not gonna come home 

Edoardo Incanti: 1. you’re a piece of shit 

Edoardi Incanti: 2. did you text me thinking that I would respond if we were fucking? 

Federico Canegallo: I mean its been a couple hours since I left so I was just making sure it was cool to come back 

Federico Canegallo: typically people don’t fuck for entire afternoons on end so 

Edoardo Incanti: please stop saying we’re fucking 

Federico Canegallo: so you’re not? 

Edoardo Incanti: i’m not going to answer that  

Edoardo Incanti: go to gio’s tho she’s moved past procrastinating and gets annoyed if you interrupt her 

—

Martino Rametta to Eleonora Sava: nico is wondering if we can use your pasta 

Eleonora Sava: will you be following a recipe 

Martino Rametta: i’m not gonna lie to you that was an ask permission after the fact kind of thing 

Martino Rametta: it is edible tho if you want to have some when you get home 

Martino Rametta: when will that be? 

— 

Eleonora Sava to Edoardo Incanti: what are you doing for dinner 

Edoardo Incanti: i think talking in person about this isn’t violating the rules 

Eleonora Sava: it is 

Eleonora Sava: I can text and study at the same time and therefore I’m still studying and therefore we have to stay in separate rooms 

Edoardo Incanti: you can be really obnoxious sometimes 

Eleonora Sava: it’s a talent 

Eleonora Sava: welcome to studying with me 

Edoardo Incanti: ok you’re getting crabby 

Eleonora Sava: rude 

Edoardo Incanti: we’re officially done studying for the moment 

Eleonora Sava: ok official means two party consent 

Eleonora Sava: I did not consent to stop studying 

Edoardo Incanti: acknowledged and overruled 

Edoardo Incanti: i’m coming to you don’t flip ur shit 

— 

Chicco Rodi to someone get milk I haven’t been able to eat cereal in four days and i’m dying: [pic] 

Chicco Rodi: Spotted! Edoardo Incanti out getting saucy with Eleonora Sava when they both said they’d be studying. Maybe they can use their combined genius to turn their ‘break’ into a ‘date.’ xoxo Gossip Girl 

Edoardo Incanti: fuck off man 

Federico Canegallo: edo all you have to do to make this stop 

Federico Canegallo: is stop being a fucking coward and tell her how you feel  

— 

Chicco Rodi to Eva Brighi: edo and ele are at that greek stand by the conservatory 

Eva Brighi: how dare they get gyros without me 

Eva Brighi: what are you doing there 

Chicco Rodi: not getting gyros bc now I have to spy on them 

Eva Brighi: unfortunate 

Chicco Rodi: the things I do for them 

Eva Brighi: what, exactly, are you doing for them 

Chicco Rodi: ur getting too hung up on the details 

—

Elia Santini to *plays Baby K even harder*: drinks tonight? 

Martino Rametta: some of us value our livers 

Eleonora Sava: and our grades 

Eva Brighi: if you value ur grades so much 

Eleonora Sava: don’t say it 

Eva Brighi: why aren’t you studying rn? 

Eva Brighi: mm? 

Elia Santini: again, drinks tonight? 

Elia Santini: bueller? bueller? 

Luchino: I’m in 

Chicco Rodi: @elia we’re gonna try to play that one game from New Girl tonight 

Giovanni Garau: i fucking love new girl 

Federica Caciotti: doesn’t that revolve around American politicians 

Chicco Rodi: historical figures, please 

Chicco Rodi: and yes 

Federica Caciotti: interesting 

Sana Allagui: I’m coming just to watch you guys be confused 

Edoardo Incanti: when is this starting 

Chicco Rodi: may or may not be four drinks in 

Edoardo Incanti: is2g 

— 

Eleonora Sava to Giovanni Garau: is anyone at urs rn? I need a quiet place to study 

Giovanni Garau: no 

Giovanni Garau: why don’t you go home? 

Eleonora Sava: Eva will yell at me 

Eleonora Sava: and edo forgot one of my books there earlier when he picked them up I’m sorry 

Giovanni Garau: ok i’m leaving right now 

Giovanni Garau: door’s unlocked but please be quick our neighbor will steal everything we own  

Eleonora Sava: eva’s right you are an angel 

—

Federico Canegallo to Edoardo Incanti: are you coming home or nah 

Edoardo Incanti: went to gio’s to study 

Edoardo Incanti: back later 

Federico Canegallo: do you even need to study this much for the one test you still have 

Federico Canegallo: I don’t understand you 

—

Edoardo Incanti to Eva Brighi: ele is exhausted please don’t yell at her when she gets upstairs 

Eva Brighi: … 

Eva Brighi: fine 

Eva Brighi: but only cuz you said please 

— 

Eva Brighi renamed the group 41 days and 41 nights in relationship wilderness ladies and germs 

— 

Eva Brighi to Eleonora Sava: Marti wants to know if you want anything for breakfast he and Nico are going out 

Eva Brighi: he also called me lazy for not getting off the couch to ask you in person 

Eva Brighi: will you yell at him for that pls 

— 

Silvia Mirabella to *plays Baby K even harder*: drinks here tonight for those of us who are feeling reckless or actually are done with midterms 

Silvia Mirabella: starting at 21 but we’re getting Thai at 19 if anyone wants to join 

Chicco Rodi: can u be both? 

Silvia Mirabella: yea that’s allowed 

Chicco Rodi: sick 

Elia Santini: if we want Thai but don’t feel like actually going to the Thai place 

Silvia Mirabella: no 

— 

Silvia Mirabella sent a link to silvietta.sil, profile on PayPal to Le MAT&T: fund drinks for tonight pls and thanks  

Federica Caciotti renamed the group Le Mom’s not buying the booze anymore 

Silvia Mirabella: funny 

Federica Caciotti sent a link to federicarica, profile on PayPal: fund my career launch into comedy pls and thanks 

— 

Federico Canegallo to do NOT speak to me about the scooter: fifa tourney @ 15? 

Elia Santini: ye 

Giovanni Garau: taking my last midterm but I can be there at like 16:30 

Federico Canegallo: lame 

Chicco Rodi: will I actually get to play today sir 

Luchino: sounds good 

Rocco Martucci: do any of you actually go to class 

Elia Santini: @chicco @rocco no

Chicco Rodi: fuck you @elia

Martino Rametta: same with gio but Nico says he’ll be there at 15 

Martino Rametta: he’s wondering if you’ll have snacks or no 

Federico Canegallo: tell the little fucker he can die before eating all of my good pretzels again 

Martino Rametta: he says bite me 

Federico Canegallo: @edo hello???? 

Federico Canegallo: update edo is still sleeping but told me to tell you all he’s going to kick your asses 

Elia Santini: fat fucking chance, charms 

— 

Eva Brighi to Eleonora Sava: making coffee would you like some 

— 

Edoardo Incanti to Eleonora Sava: hi please tell me you actually went to bed last night instead of studying more 

Eleonora Sava: I did 

Edoardo Incanti: ok good 

Edoardo Incanti: when are you taking it 

Eleonora Sava: tomorrow 

Edoardo Incanti: are you feeling better about it than you were yesterday? 

Eleonora Sava: yes 

Eleonora Sava: thank you 

Edoardo Incanti: of course 

Edoardo Incanti: i’d offer to let you come study here again but fede and chicco want to play fifa 

Edoardo Incanti: lucky fuckers are already done with their midterms 

Edoardo Incanti: but if you need someone to study with again, I’ll take on the task 

Eleonora Sava: how kind of you 

Eleonora Sava: I’m ok tho 

Edoardo Incanti: if you’re sure 

— 

Eva Brighi to Eleonora Sava: are you down for Thai or no? 

Eva Brighi: because now is the time to say something if ur not 

Eva Brighi: silvia is Determined to get spring rolls 

Eva Brighi: I think only you could stop her 

Eva Brighi: sana tried suggesting that Salvadorian place but sil shut her down hard 

Eva Brighi: come save us from tyranny pls 

—

Chicco Rodi to *plays Baby K even harder*: just wanted to publicly make it known that I kicked Fede and Elia’s asses at fifa 

Sana Allagui: ladies we’ve been demoted to peanut gallery

Sana Allagui: this is a federal offense 

Eva Brighi: @chicco I’ll be impressed when you can beat ele at mario kart

Federica Caciotti: same 

Martino Rametta: points were made

Silvia Mirabella: guys he might die lets not make him do that 

Sana Allagui: can we still take them to court 

Federica Caciotti: yes of course 

Eva Brighi: get ur fucking lawyer ready boys 

Luchino: wait court for what 

Giovanni Garau: grabbing the game cube when I go home this weekend 

Giovanni Garau: mario kart tourney Sunday night 

Federico Canegallo: um pay attention to this tourney pls and thanks 

Chicco Rodi: I’ve been challenged tho 

Chicco Rodi: and they’re suing us 

Federico Canegallo: I will smother you in ur sleep chicco PAY ATTENTION 

— 

Edoardo Incanti to Eleonora Sava: contrary to what the gc says it was mostly me who beat fede and Elia 

Eleonora Sava: color me even more impressed than I already said I was 

Edoardo Incanti: you didn’t say anything 

Eleonora Sava: exactly 

Edoardo Incanti: no one asked you to be sarcastic about it 

Edoardo Incanti: now what’s this about mario kart 

Eleonora Sava: don’t even try I will kick ur ass 

Edoardo Incanti: I’ll have you know I’ve won every single Incanti cousins mario kart tourney since we started doing them when I was like nine 

Eleonora Sava: its not that hard to beat Eva she’s shit 

Edoardo Incanti: we have other cousins ya know 

Eleonora Sava: did mario kart even exist when u were nine 

Edoardo Incanti: ya p sure

Eleonora Sava: hm 

Eleonora Sava: sounds dubious

Eleonora Sava: old 

Edoardo Incanti: hey 

— 

Eva Brighi to Le Mom’s not buying the booze anymore: yeah I think Thai is fine 

Sana Allagui: its not 

Eva Brighi: what’s not fine is hiding in ur room and not answering ur texts all day 

Federica Caciotti: ok so we’ve gotten through procrastination ele and annoyed ele and now we’re on to hermit ele 

Federica Caciotti: we’ve almost completed the cycle 

Silvia Mirabella: is she alive can you tell 

Silvia Mirabella: sana shut up about the food for a sec 

Sana Allagui: ok easy for u when ur the one that’s winning 

Eva Brighi: yeah I’ve heard her go to the bathroom once or twice but she hasn’t come out besides that 

Eva Brighi: I’ve texted her several times and when I call she sends me to voicemail 

Sana Allagui: have you like knocked on the door 

Eva Brighi: I may be an idiot but I’m not stupid Sana 

Eva Brighi: of course I have 

Eva Brighi: ele if you’re reading this knock on ur wall twice 

Eva Brighi: ok she did it. love you ele please come out and eat something  

—

Chicco Rodi to *plays Baby K even harder*: @ele so are you going to beat my ass in mario kart or not 

Chicco Rodi: you didn’t say anything 

Chicco Rodi: i need to kno how many blows my pride is gonna take this week 

Federico Canegallo: ok you are preemptively anticipating ele beating you when gio’s beating you right now 

Federico Canegallo: you’re not even playing anymore ffs 

Chicco Rodi: some things you just have to accept fede 

Edoardo Incanti: who the fuck says preemptively anticipate 

Eva Brighi: don’t be jealous just bc some fede sounds fancier than you 

Edoardo Incanti: is this bc I insulted ur vocabulary yesterday 

— 

Sana Allagui to Eleonora Sava: not responding to hermit ele takes some strength 

Sana Allagui: is everything ok?

— 

Edoardo Incanti: appalled 

Edoardo Incanti: dubious 

Edoardo Incanti: preemptive 

Edoardo Incanti: anticipation 

Eleonora Sava: no I am not arguing with you about this 

Eleonora Sava: I’m studying 

Eleonora Sava: unlike some people 

Edoardo Incanti: mm ok point taken  

—

Sana Allagui to Le Mom’s not paying for the booze anymore: ok Eva w/e you’ve done to piss ele off has extended to me 

Sana Allagui: she’s not responding to my texts 

Eva Brighi: well what did you say 

Eva Brighi: also she’s not pissed off she’s Stressed 

Eva Brighi: i’m Stressed 

Sana Allagui: I asked if she was ok 

Sana Allagui: n she didn’t say anything  

Silvia Mirabella: ele knock twice on the wall again if ur stressed 

Silvia Mirabella: eva did she do it 

Eva Brighi: no 

Eva Brighi: her phone’s going straight to voicemail now I think it’s off 

Silvia Mirabella: damn 

Silvia Mirabella: frontal assault into her room? 

Eva Brighi: I have a better idea 

— 

Eva Brighi to Edoardo Incanti: hey

—

Eleonora Sava to marti make sure nico cleans out the lint filter on the dryer or I will cut you: someone please water the plants on the veranda 

Eleonora Sava: I just realized that I didn’t get to them this morning and they’re sitting directly in the sun 

Martino Rametta: i would totally do it but I am not home atm 

Eva Brighi: I have a good idea for you 

Eva Brighi: you could come out and do it yourself 

Eva Brighi: ele? 

— 

Martino Rametta to Eva Brighi: everything ok with ele? 

Eva Brighi: you’ve been gone all day I forgot 

Eva Brighi: she isn’t coming out of her room or answering her texts 

Martino Rametta: oh so Test Ele 

Eva Brighi: I think its worse than usual 

— 

Martino Rametta to Eleonora Sava: hi i would request that you set aside your books and take ten deep breaths 

Martino Rametta: nico seconds me 

Eleonora Sava: :/ 

Martino Rametta: eva did water the plants on the veranda she sent me a pic 

Eleonora Sava: :) 

— 

Edoardo Incanti to Eva Brighi: sorry I was talking to nonna 

Edoardo Incanti: she wants us to come over soon 

Eva Brighi: like today soon? 

Edoardo Incanti: no like in a few weeks 

Eva Brighi: ok 

Eva Brighi: wait aren’t you guys doing fifa right now 

Edoardo Incanti: does that make me incapable of texting nonna 

Eva Brighi: she doesn’t text 

Edoardo Incanti: calling nonna then w/e 

Eva Brighi: edoardo incanti did you actually speak to our grandmother or are you bsing me 

Edoardo Incanti: i promise I did I’m just very tired atm 

Eva Brighi: ok lover boy I���ll let it slide this time 

Eva Brighi: text ele for me I haven’t heard or seen her all day and I’m getting worried 

Edoardo Incanti: weird she’s been texting me 

Eva Brighi: of fucking course 

Edoardo Incanti: is everything ok? 

Eva Brighi: she’s being a recluse 

Eva Brighi: I’ve found that she gets like this around tests its p usual 

Eva Brighi: but this feels off I’m worried 

— 

Edoardo Incanti: in order to properly be a recluse you have to turn your phone off you know 

Eleonora Sava: I have no idea what ur talking about 

Edoardo Incanti: Eva says she hasn’t heard from you all day 

Edoardo Incanti: you haven’t been responding in the gc 

Edoardo Incanti: but you’ve been texting me 

Edoardo Incanti: don’t recluses avoid all contact w the outside world 

Eleonora Sava: whoever said I was trying to be a recluse 

Edoardo Incanti: is everything ok? 

Eleonora Sava: yes 

Eleonora Sava: why wouldn’t it be 

Edoardo Incanti: i’m coming over 

Eleonora Sava: you don’t need to 

Edoardo Incanti: i am tho 

Eleonora Sava: edo 

Eleonora Sava: edo seriously you don’t have to 

Eleonora Sava: edo pick up your damn phone 

— 

Edoardo Incanti to Eva Brighi: are you home? 

Eva Brighi: ya 

Edoardo Incanti: come buzz me in 

Eva Brighi: she’s not gonna let you in I’ve tried that 

Edoardo Incanti: w/e just do it pls 

— 

Federico Canegallo: where did you go 

Edoardo Incanti: ele’s 

Federico Canegallo: ok 

Federico Canegallo: not gonna finish the tourney? 

Edoardo Incanti: we played for like two and a half hours I think that’s enough

Federico Canegallo: ok 

Federico Canegallo: are you gonna come to drinks 

Edoardo Incanti: depends 

Federico Canegallo: ok 

Federico Canegallo: tell her to feel better 

— 

Eva Brighi to Le Mom’s not buying the booze anymore: ok better idea is here now 

Sana Allagui: don’t tell me you got edo to come over 

Silvia Mirabella: eva now is not the time to try to set them up 

Sana Allagui: it’s brilliant 

Eva Brighi: ok contrary to popular (silvia’s) belief chicco and I are NOT crazy for trying to set them up 

Eva Brighi: n this isn’t part of that 

Eva Brighi: they are friends and friends are allowed to do shit like care about each other 

Federica Caciotti: and have romantic feelings for one another 

Eva Brighi: not! the! point!

— 

Silvia Mirabella to *plays Baby K even harder*: numbers for Thai? 

Luchino: me

Elia Santini: ok the tourney’s almost done 

Elia Santini: you’re sure you won’t bring any to us 

Silvia Mirabella: we are going back to mine after this why would we bring it all the way to fede’s 

Chicco Rodi: me for Thai 

Giovanni Garau: same 

Martino Rametta: me n nico too 

Elia Santini: traitors 

Martino Rametta: we literally are already done with the tourney you’re just a sore loser and want to play until you win a game 

Elia Santini: ur exposing me 

Elia Santini: i will eat ur firstborn 

Silvia Mirabella: edo? fede? 

Federico Canegallo: nah I am gonna pity play Elia until he wins 

Elia Santini: fuck you 

— 

Edoardo Incanti to Silvia Mirabella: any chance you could make a stop here after Thai 

Silvia Mirabella: no i literally just told Elia I’m not going to yours 

Edoardo Incanti: at ele’s 

Silvia Mirabella: oh 

Silvia Mirabella: yeah of course 

Silvia Mirabella: what do you guys want 

Edoardo Incanti: the drunken noodles and that one yellow curry 

Silvia Mirabella: will do 

Silvia Mirabella: is ele ok? 

Edoardo Incanti: yeah she’s alright 

Silvia Mirabella: tell her I’m glad she’s ok 

— 

Eva Brighi to Edoardo Incanti: how’s ele 

Edoardo Incanti: hungry 

Eva Brighi: we’ll stop by soon 

Eva Brighi: almost done I promise 

Eva Brighi: besides that? 

Edoardo Incanti: she yelled at me for a bit for coming over n got mad when I took away her textbook 

Edoardo Incanti: but then she calmed down 

Edoardo Incanti: currently on the porch 

Edoardo Incanti: she’s v concerned about the plants 

Edoardo Incanti: says you did a shit job of watering them 

Eva Brighi: that is what she wants to say rn 

Eva Brighi: so picky 

Eva Brighi: is she feeling better? 

Edoardo Incanti: i think so 

Edoardo Incanti: really remains to be see tho 

Edoardo Incanti: she’s very stressed 

Eva Brighi: ok 

Eva Brighi: keep me updated 

— 

Silvia Mirabella to Edoardo Incanti: i come bearing food 

Silvia Mirabella: buzz me in pls 

— 

Federico Canegallo to *plays Baby K even harder*: we’ll be over soon 

Eva Brighi: cool we started w/o you 

— 

Eva Brighi to Le Mom’s not paying for the booze anymore: mission check on ele post drinks is a go 

Eva Brighi: I might be too drunk for this but w/e

Eva Brighi: all the lights are off 

Eva Brighi: it’s quiet 

Eva Brighi: checking her room 

Eva Brighi: oh! 

Eva Brighi: they are asleep 

Sana Allagui: they 

Silvia Mirabella: they?

Eva Brighi: yes edo is here still 

Sana Allagui: nice 

Federica Caciotti: how does ele look 

Eva Brighi: relaxed 

Sana Allagui: are they snuggling 

Eva Brighi: yes 

Eva Brighi: its v cute 

— 

Eva Brighi renamed the group ok they were snuggling last night are we still in the relationship wilderness, who knows? day 1 

Chicco Rodi: sorry they were what last night 

[lesbiansnoopy]

BTS Review

Spoilers for LIS the original story. 

I will do my best to avoid major spoilers for BTS itself. 

So, this was gonna be a long thing but here’s my biggest problems and to answer the big questions. 

Is it worth the price vs play time? 

This is my time including some resets (including one that was before a 5 minute scene like 3 times) and a crash so my real time was probably closer to 8-9 hours. I also have all of the achievements outside of 2 in the first episode I will later get.  I played it through my friend’s library and it was the special edition that’ll cost you about 25 bucks vs vanilla which is 17.

I personally think that if you are gonna spring for the game you might as well get the bonus episode (The clothing options for the bonus are not worth it) but you should buy it on sale. The full 25 isn’t enough for an episode that SHOULD be in the vanilla game anyway. 

Should I play this game? 

This depends on what you are expecting. Are you expecting answers to how Max got her powers, what happened to Rachel, if there’s a twist of “RACHEL IS ALIVE” then no. 

If you wanted a backstory of how Rachel and Chloe met while also seeing Chloe’s side of things and how they became girlfriends then yes, definitely. This game isn’t for those wanting lore, this game is for those who fell in love with the characters. If you want answers then I’m sorry because this game got none. 

I think the worst part is one that people who I think have replayed the original LIS know very well. Every choice felt meaningless. Every fight with David, every moment with Rachel, every NPC who I know isn’t in the main game I had to interact with made me feel like every “big issue” had no real pressure. It wasn’t like I could kill Rachel or Chloe faster. Like I could change the events of the story. it was all set. 

The Game Itself 

Graphics wise, the game is a step below LIS. I think it had more to do with a tighter budget and schedule to get out games, but the animations are jerky and unnatural at times. While the original game wasn’t perfect, you had small details like Max bouncing while talking. This game didn’t have that. 

It took me a minute to get used to the voice acting, but once I did I didn’t notice it. Sure, it isn’t the BEST I have heard in my life but it’s bearable. If you haven’t played/listened to the original in awhile I doubt you would even notice it. 

The controls for selecting dialogue has changed so you have a button mapped to it vs the drag feature which is something I enjoyed A LOT. Chloe’s controls on the other hand were a little wonky. I think this ties into the animations budget, but her motions didn’t feel natural. She didn’t turn or move right. They also added a bit where the objective is on your hand and that is just the most half assed thing i have seen in my life. 

The final additions are revamps of features from the old game. The journal is still there although you now “write to max”, and the phone you get texts on is an older model. 

Since Chloe doesn’t take photos you use your marker to graffiti on walls and objects. Instead of rewinding time to get what you want, you argue. The check points also make resetting really tortuous so if you mess up something get ready to go through all those unskippable (yep) cut scenes.

The Plot+Characters

What plot Ok so a rundown  Ep1: Meet Rachel  Ep2: Shipping Ep3: Oh fuck we need an actual plot for people who bought this game, quick, half assedly add more scenes of Chloe being abused! Also throw Rachel in there too because we didn’t hurt her ENOUGH apparently.  That’s it. That’s the series. I’m not even kidding, none of the “plot” you end up getting has no affect or even adds to the story unless you absolutely are dying to know more about Rachel. There is no “big twist” (Ok there is one but like...I clocked it in ep 1 lmao and it’s not a twist that affect the main series) there is no answers, it’s just the Rachel Amber Dating Sim with MORE scenes of Chloe being abused. 

This game also tries to make all those people who have abused Chloe from the main game (Pointedly: Frank, Nathan, and David) into “morally grey ones”. They try to give them excuses and it happens over and over and over again. David is a soldier so who cares if he emotionally and physical abuses Chloe. Frank “saved her” so who cares that he is literal human garbage. Even fucking Nathan has his “But my Dadddd’ story line brought up! I don’t get it and I hated it. 

There’s also a running dialogue of how Chloe is(n’t) coping with her Dad’s death. You have visions with him and weird Red Room from twin peaks-esque riddles with it. I think that most of the scenes are a smokescreen that did nothing to add to the plot but say fake deep shit to make you think this is all gonna pay out in some actual plot or reveals. It doesn’t. You won’t ever understand it. Don’t even try. 

Final Thoughts  

I’m gonna be honest. I really didn’t like Before The Storm. It didn’t improve on anything I had issues with in the original series.

First off, how they treat the wlw couple, Rachel and Chloe are abused and hurt during this entire series. Rachel. Is. Dead. I was HOPING that we had a twist of it wasn’t Rachel in that grave, but we didn’t get it. I’m not counting this as a spoiler because there isn’t anything to spoil. Before you even press play they have already killed off a wlw character. 

As for how they handle the romance, I personally see their relationship as one that isn’t the healthiest. They are extremely codependent on each other, and later on Rachel cheats/plans to leave Chloe behind. Something that I truly believe would have killed Chloe. The game even tells you repeatedly that Rachel is someone who is going to burn Chloe out. I don’t know if this was meant for us to be happy the ending is she is with Max but....it isn’t good enough! 

Overall

If you are desperate for more information on Chloe’s tragic backstory, how her and Rachel become an item, and some Rachel backstory then pick this game up on sale. If you want anything at all answered then pray that maybe the “bonus episode” (That should be in the main game instead of a money grubbing gimmick) sheds something but I’m not holding my breath. Other than that, skip it and watch a playthrough on youtube. 

[eternalstateofoctober]

50 questions you’ve never been asked

thank you sterre @cherries-n-rocknroll omfg so many lol 🤍

1. what is the colour of your hairbrush? just grey

2. name a food you never eat. idk pea soup?

3. are you typically too warm or too cold? idk lol, it depends on the season i guess

4. what were you doing 45 minutes ago? scrolling on here probably

5. what is your favourite candy bar? (i’m taking this as like mars bars etc. not the 200g ones uknow) ok but like we have so many specific ones of either here because fazer so like susu? tofferina? dumle snacks? and chocolate in general probably fazer’s salty toffee crunch or honey roasted almond

6. have you ever been to a professional sports event? absolutely not lol

7. what is the last thing you said out loud? no recollection, probably talked to myself in the mirror

8. what is your favourite ice cream? anything b&j, probably blondie brownie core

9. what was the last thing you had to drink? water

10. do you like your wallet? yes because it’s full rn lol. i don’t ever use cash though so i need to make a deposit(?) when all this fuckery is over

11. what was the last thing you ate? the last of my tortilla chips

12. did you buy any new clothes last weekend? oh no

13. the last sporting event you watched? absolutely do not watch sports

14. what is your favourite flavour of popcorn? just the normal buttered ones. or chocolate covered but that’s a bit different

15. who is the last person you sent a text message to? maybe mum

16. ever go camping? no i’m not outdoorsy unfortunately. would be a blast in theory though omg please imagine how nice and fun 😞🤍

17. do you take vitamins? yes but i suppose they probably don’t do much when everything else is wonky. i don’t take naps anymore though when i used to take one every single day 😗

18. do you go to church every sunday? lol no

19. do you have a tan? no

20. do you prefer chinese food or pizza? please do not make me choose omfg but maybe chinese food

21. do you drink your soda with a straw? no

22. what colour socks do you usually wear? funky, black or white, rn only this specific pair of knitted socks i got for christmas though

23. do you ever drive above the speed limit? i don’t drive

24. what terrifies you? many things lol but at the same time nothing because idc. but abandonment or like maybe not being aknowleged as Existing to people

25. look to your left, what do you see? just... my apartment in general?

26. what chore do you hate? not even dishes as much as laundry. the laundry is in another building with a small walk. ok maybe all of them except for idk basic organizing 🤷‍♀️

27. what do you think of when you hear an australian accent? nothing? groovy?

28. what’s your favourite soda? rarely do i drink them but any fancy artisan soda lol

29. do you go in a fast food place or just hit the drive-thru? order in

30. who’s the last person you talked to? mum on the phone yesterday

31. favourite cut of beef? lmao idk

32. last song you listened to? don’t remember

33. last book you read? absolutely no clue

34. favourite day of the week? saturday. literally every single other day is so so bad. oh wait thursday used to be theatre and nowadays it’s for semolina porridge so lmao thursday & saturday. but actually just saturday

35. can you say the alphabet backwards? probably not, how do police assume anyone could or is that fake?

36. how do you like your coffee? no

37. favourite pair of shoes? platform derbies

38. the time you normally go to bed? around 2-3am, surprisingly a bit earlier rn

39. the time you normally get up? naturally around 10-11, if it’s school then it wholly depends on the day, no school rn though lol

40. what do you prefer, sunrise or sunsets? sunrise

41. how many blankets on your bed? one light one otherwise i’d die of heatstroke

42. describe your kitchen plates. plain white & big, only one random beige one which is slightly deeper and is the only one i use lol because the shape is perfect

43. do you have a favourite alcoholic beverage? i mean i’m rubbish w alcohol so i’ve just stuck to lonkero, gin & grapefruit i guess that is

44. do you play cards? no, only cah

45. what colour is your car? don’t have one

46. can you change a tire? nope lol

47. your favourite province? idfk lol the one i live in because i live here? or uusimaa because helsinki lol

48. favourite job you’ve ever had? can’t really say can i lol but the teaching assistant was lovely

49. how did you get your biggest scar? i don’t even really count them as proper scars lol but cut myself 🤷‍♀️ but it was pretty gross when the scab was coming off lol OK SORRY LMAO

50. what did you do today that made someone else happy? i’m in bed still. maybe that

@supersonicfreddie, @hannafuckingsucks and @get-on-your-bikes-and-ride hehee your turn 🤓✌🏻

[ultimatebottom69]

YES

unsure if this has been done before, but anyways poly ftw