#sorry if ive been dead we re a little over worked
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cryptidm0ths · 10 months ago
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Merch? spare some merch?
Redbubble link in the comments bc tumblr explodes links ,,,,,
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iantimony · 8 months ago
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BIG tuesday
i skipped last tuesday because i was working on a take-home exam and simply did not have the time nor the inclination, so: beefy tuesdaypost today!
listening: my brother recommended 'dead magic' by anna von hausswolff and boy what an album. gothic, punchy, very vibey. the kind of album you let wash over you like an ocean wave.
pulled 'mostly kosher' from my to-listen list. fun, funky, very jewish, good vibes. ikh hob dikh tsufil lib
i've continued to mainline borodin symphonies 1 & 2. idk they're just hitting right.
and the new pieces for the orchestra i'm in - very french this time round: debussy's fêtes: kinda spooky and ominous and also fluid in a fun way! lots of buildup that seems to resolve into nothingness. horn parts for this are pretty good, not too difficult but are definitely Heard. chabrier's españa: really bumpin horn parts. fun bouncy motifs. what's not to like.
pocasting-wise, i'm up to partizan 38. 10 episodes left!!! the home stretch!!!!! it's so good but things are definitely amping up in the end-of-fatt-season way.
i've also listened to my friend b's gotham tv show podcast 'jim gordon must die'. very good and funny. i laughed out loud at some of the episode 3 descriptions.
reading: i was stuck in Bad Airport Times this past saturday (flight delayed 3 hours, then sat for an hour on the tarmac, arrived at 10pm when i was originally supposed to arrive at like 630) so i blasted through all ~150k words of 'freefall' by Kunoichi21 and xoTsundoku. bog-standard mafia au, but with a fun little circus arts twist; fun background fengqing; i do not like that they made beefleaf wholesome. give me my toxic beefleaf god damn it. but otherwise it was a fun read, sappy romcom-style. the fic itself isn't quite done but it's in endgame. the author notes have peak fanfic culture energy of "hey guys! sorry i didn't update, i started nursing school and my dad died" bro .... ;___; goddamn. please take care of urselves
watching: we are almost done with kill la kill! last two eps!!! so tonight we're doing that and also watching last week's dunmeshi together.
friend and i finished comrade detective. incredible. no notes. so funny. we started 'endeavour' which is a detective morse prequel thing and goddd the british-isms, and also started serial experiments lain. i don't know what i was expecting but god it was not this. i literally thought this was a cute fun hacker mystery show in the energy of cowboy bebop. it is Not That. not even close. it's good though i'm enjoying it. currently staggering through life going uhhhhh like lain does in the first few eps.
playing: fallow. i am re-installing disco elysium on my computer though. ive been wondering if i should try to keep going on the save file from last year or if i should just start over because i barely got in there at all.
making: many things. pottery!! some good some not as good.
so this design came out SO nice but the underglaze is so gd streaky! i hate it !!! i don't think it's really fixable either, i tried the hairspray trick to put new solid glaze over top the inside so at least that would look less like shit but i could not get it to work. maybe sanding it down? idk. it's ugly. it was supposed to be a bright teal but the woman who runs the studio mixed the batch up wrong so it's like. a really drab gray and not in a fun or intentional way. idk.
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some new bisque:
teacups came out! still mismatched but cute nonetheless! gonna do them in a sort of celadon-type color with white flowers to match the teapot that my SO has :)
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i don't feel like adding more photos for these lol they're very boring. the pot for my mom came out fine i think. gonna go in with normal white glaze over top to paint in some trees or other botanical designs. i sponged the underglaze on so hopefully the final result won't be streaky. sponged red on my seder plate to hopefully accomplish the same thing. mugs came through the bisque with no issues but i didn't do anything fun with underglaze on one of them so no new pics of that, but the other i did this tree thing again:
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i KNOW it'll be streaky as hell. i just know. so i'm considering how i want to do it. perhaps putting some slightly transparent green over the top of it all to meld it together? unsure.
some new stuff: made a citrus juicer, this was attempt number 2 and just barely got it to work, attempt 1 was a total disaster. also made another mug type object, hopefully it'll still be wet enough this weekend to slap a handle on.
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two mugs with red clay, i really loved the lascaux mugs that jessica bartram put up for sale last year but i didnt snag one in time so i was like. fuck it. i will make my own. gonna let them dry to leather hard before going in with black underglaze.
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i've been trying to draw again but. idk. i just feel very uninspired. i start drawing and it's like :| :| :|
eating: i was on my own food-wise for much of the last week because my roommate was babysitting for the rabbi, so i did not eat nearly as extravagantly as i normally do, LOL. i made a lo mein recipe that was kinda just a stir fry. this could have been my fault because i added a bunch of extra shit like bok choy and mushrooms. i also didn't use the correct type of noodle, and i didnt have oyster sauce so i used worcestershire, etc. many substitutions so it's probably not fair for me to say it was Just Fine. will have to try again at some later date actually following the recipe. herb and radish salad with feta and walnuts: delicious. 10/10. i tossed in some extra arugula and that was also good. and i made the tofu brussel sprouts tahini/hoisin sauce thing again because it's easy and tasty.
misc: visiting my grandma right now ...... entrenched in the ennui .............. spring break ........................
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genericswordsmaiden · 1 year ago
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summer reading/writing/arting tag
Tagged by @inkysqueed (thank you so much, fellow Jumpluff and Oblivion enjoyer!)
1) Describe one creative WIP you plan on working on over the summer.
Of course, even though I have many ideas in mind (a one piece/crossover fic, an oblivion fanfic and a story about an AU me and my friend @zombinafonfrankenstein came up with) I'm going to continue writing Dark! I'm giving it my all because my goal is to publish it and see it on shelves!!! But for now the english version is available on ao3 (it is updated a bit irregularly because of life and other stuff, but some friends said that it's good nonetheless)
A description of it? Magic amnesiac guy and friends travel across the Afterlife to retrieve books and save the universe from some kind of eldritch creature. It sounds like pure crack and in some way it is. It's also brutal.
2) Recommend a book!
Oh, this is a tough one! But if y'all haven't done it yet, go read The Book Thief. That story changed my life, and it made me cry so much. I loved Liesel and Max's friendship, and also Rudy... He was best boy. And Hans deserves the title of best father ever. Oh god I'm crying again, it's been years since I last read it and it's still a fresh wound! A masterpiece.
3) Recommend a fic!
Another tough one, since there's so many fics I'd like to share! I can't name less than five though, because I absolutely adore them and I wish people of the respective fandoms would read them. Sorry.
Honor bound by penwarrior11 (The Elder Scrolls IV: Oblivion) (this one is part of a series and it is the first fic of it. It follows the story of the game alright, but I love the scenes with Mara and Martin, and also Baurus. A precious little gem.)
Everything by nonman (Half Life: Alyx) (this one began in 2021 and proceeded slowly, as of now I'm waiting for the last chapter but guys, it is great! It gives continuation of the cliffhanger at the end of HL:A and it is written masterfully)
No more dreaming of the dead by @mina-murray-harker (Re-Animator 1985) (I love the style of this one, safe and disturbing and full of movie and music references. I think the Re-Animator fandom would love it to bits just as yours truly does)
Candlelight by @clichejoe (Encanto) (this is still my comfort fic and it is very beautiful, colorful - and the main character is the most lovable oddball researcher ever)
The fear of the ocean by FishingLure (JoJo's bizarre adventure) (this one emotionally scarred me - it's been two years and I still haven't recovered)
4) Recommend music!
Pat Metheny Group's discography. But also Seventeen's discography... No, I have to choose a single song. I must choose a single song or else I'll be here all night! Alright, here we go: Haru No Maboroshi by Superfly. It sounds like a sunset. I used to listen to it when I ended uni lessons late in the afternoon, it gives me a comforting feeling and restores my spirit a bit.
5) Share one piece of advice!
Hmmm, I'd say to never forget yourself. Other people may leave, but yourself is the only one who will never leave you. Some people might see this as insensitive wording, but I truly mean this with all my heart. There's time to be spent in introspection, there's love to be found in ourselves, for ourselves. There's a certain kind of healing that can only occur when you are with yourself. Also, to everyone reading this, regardless of shape color gender and preferences regarding tea - tell people who are dear to you how much you love them and hug them. Spread good stuff, hugs are the best drug - and they're free!!
Tagging @koumeowkami and @stardusteyes and also the other beautiful people I already tagged are totally free to copy this and post their own answers!
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nyctophilin · 4 years ago
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Fake Affection | III
Chapter I, Chapter II, Chapter III, Chapter IV, Epilogue
Description: Han Jisung has been rejected by the girl he likes one to many times. He decides that he has had enough and is set on making her want him back. What could possibly make her want him more than seeing him with her rival after she boldly assumed he can’t find anyone better. That way Jisung and Y/N are stuck in a fake relationship until Jisung’s crush falls for him. Or he falls for someone else.
All rights reserved © nyctophilin 2020. Re-posting, copying and translating any of my works is prohibited.
Pairing: Han x fem!Reader, Hyunjin x fem!Reader
Word count: 5.1k
Genre: College!AU, Fake dating!AU, Angst, Fluff, eventual Smut
Warnings: swearing, mild groping, mild violence
Pearl note -> This got long. Yeah, things got interesting in this part. :)) Also, I realized I forgot to add something so I had to come back last minute and edit it. Yeah, sorry for the delay. :/ I hope y’all enjoy it! Feedback is very much appreciated.
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      The sun was shining brightly despite it being almost 6 PM. The temperature outside reached unusually high numbers for that time of the year, and Y/N decided to take advantage of that. Dressed in a forest green spring dress that reached her mid-thighs and offered a modest view of her cleavage, she was waiting for Jisung in front of her apartment complex. The dress she was wearing had short sleeves, but she decided not to take any jackets with her thanks to the weather forecast that predicted the temperatures to be high until later in the night.
      She was clutching the strap of her purse tightly and impatiently checking the time on her phone every few minutes. It has been such a long time since she went on a date. Just because she was going there to make Mina jealous didn’t mean she couldn’t have fun. What better way to convince the other girl that she missed on a lot of fun than have fun?
      Coming from the left side, she heard the sound of an engine approaching. Soon, a black Range Rover came to a gradual stop right in front of her, the front wheel almost climbing the sidewalk. From inside the car, Jisung gestured her to get in. She opened the door and climbed in, placing her purse over her knees before fastening her seatbelt.
      Without much of a word, Jisung turned the steering wheel and started driving to a destination unknown to Y/N.
      “I didn’t know you had a car.” She spoke, trying to get rid of the awkward atmosphere.
      Jisung threw her a look before concentrating on the road again.
      “It’s Chan’s. He let me borrow it for today.” A long sigh left his mouth. “After a long talk where he told me that if I hurt his baby, I’m dead.”
      Y/N let out a chuckle, and Jisung smiled as well, as the memory of the silly conversation he had with the older man flooded his mind. Another minute passed, and the silence in the car was being filled by the pop music coming from the radio.
      “You look pretty!” Jisung complimented, stealing another glance at her.
      A bright smile invaded her facial features at his words. 
      “Thank you! I didn’t know where we were going, but I figured a dress would be appropriate for many activities.” She chirped, the tiniest bit of excitement rolling off her tongue.
      “What if we are going hiking?” Jisung said, and a smirk appeared on his face when he noticed her rolling her eyes from the corner of his eye.
      “Then you can turn the car. I’m not coming!” Y/N crossed her hands under her chest and her mouth formed into a small pout.
      “I’m joking. We are going to an outdoor cinema.”
      She gave him a side look and raised an eyebrow.
      “No offence, but how do you know when outdoor cinemas are happening? They don’t seem…” She eyes him up and down on the driver’s seat. “...your style.”
      Jisung resisted the urge to roll his eyes at her comment. After a moment of silence, he sighed silently accepting her words.
      “Mina told me about it three weeks ago. She said it was a rom-com she really wanted to see. We planned to go together.” He explained taking a right turn.
      “Then how do you know if she’s going to come if you planned to go together. I don’t know if you realised, but you are supposed to be dating me, and she’s dating no one. Girls don’t usually go to this kind of thing without a boyfriend or a potential one.”
      “There’s this guy from Theatre and Film that she used to hook up with when I wasn’t around. I know from someone that they are coming together.” 
      Y/N let a pitiful smile involuntarily invade her features. It was kind of pathetic how he knew about her whereabouts and still didn’t say anything. She understood that they weren’t together, but they were heavily flirting and behaving like a couple, hence why she and a lot of other people thought they were actually in a relationship.
      She let her teeth sink in the flesh of her bottom lip holding back from telling him a piece of her mind. He was old enough. He knew what he was doing. Or at least she hoped he did.
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      The rest of the way to the outdoor cinema was spent in silence. The only audible sounds being the radio and Jisung’s soft humming from time to time. When they reached, their destination Y/N got out of the car and let Jisung find a parking spot somewhere further away from the location of the cinema due to the parking there overflowing with vehicles.
      Checking her phone, she noticed the time indicating 7:17 PM, and only then she realised how much time they spent in the car. Walking lazily on the pathway to where space was designated for blankets and chairs she saw a sea of people. Maybe not really a sea but there were enough people to fill two of the auditorium in their university.
      For a second she thought she'd lay out the blanket, but then she remembered the only thing she had on her was her purse. On top of that, they needed to ‘accidentally’ bump into Mina and her date and hope they end up sitting next to each other.
      Just as she was thinking about that a squeal deafened her and a pair of delicate arms wrapped around her. When the girl let go of her, and she met Mina’s face, she grimaced, but she regained her composure fast. She smiled at her and her date, a guy she had seen occasionally in some of her classes.
      “What a coincidence you are here!” Mina’s fake excitement was pissing her off. Coincidence her ass. Y/N was sure she knew they were going to be there.
      “Yeah, what a small world.” She gave the two a visibly fake smile and prayed for Jisung to hurry.
      “Are you alone?” The girl asked, moving her head in different directions as if she was looking for the person she came with.
      “No. I actually came with Jisung.” As if on cue Jisung appeared from behind the two, a blanket in hand.
      “Are you looking for me, princess?” A jolt of surprise went through her at the new nickname he used, but she didn’t let it show.
      Observing the angry expression on Mina’s face at his words, she figured that was how he used to call her before they broke up whatever they had going on. She surpassed a smirk from painting her lips.
      “Mhhm.” She extended her hand, which he gladly held and went in for a short kiss. “Look who I found. Isn’t it lovely seeing your friends here?” She sarcastically said, smiling up at him.
      “You guys should come sit with us!” Mina’s date said, and a victorious smile spread across her face.
      “We’ll love to if that is okay with Mina, of course. We wouldn’t wanna disrupt you!” Y/N faked concern and gave Mina doe eyes.
      Mina’s jaw slightly clenched before immediately relaxing and letting out a forced giggle.
      “Of course you can. Why wouldn’t I be okay with that?”
      After that, the four of them went and found a place at the back of the crowd where they could sit. It wasn’t exactly the back of the crowd since there were some more people behind them, but they were reasonably behind. 
      Jisung spread the blanket on the fluffy grass, and Mina’s date, whose name she found out was Jay, did the same as Jisung. Their blankets were almost touching, the distance between them millimetric. 
      There were still 20 minutes before the movie was supposed to start. They sat down on the blankets, and Y/N stretched her legs, finally relaxing for not having to stand on the platform shoes she was wearing.
      “So, are you guys dating or…” Jay asked, fixing his body position so he could see them better.
      Y/N rolled her eyes at his question. The guy wasn’t the best at reading the room.
      “Of course we are. Why would we be here together if we weren’t?” Annoyance was dripping off her tongue. She only wanted to relax for a bit before having to spend two hours watching some boring rom-com.
      “Oh…” His voice sounded almost disappointed as his gaze lingered a second too long on her exposed legs. “Mina and I are not a couple. And since she and Jisung have had a thing before, I thought...” He bit his bottom lip while looking at her thighs that were pretty much bare thanks to her dress riding up when she sat down. “Never mind!” 
      Y/N shifted uncomfortably and placed her hands on her thighs in an attempt to cover them even a little. Mina wasn’t aware of her date’s actions as her eyes were concentrated on Jisung and on the way he looked under the golden rays of the sun that was preparing to set.
      Jisung, however, was burning holes with his eyes into the other man’s head. Upon seeing him biting his lip while looking at Y/N in a less than appropriate way, he felt an unexplainable feeling of rage penetrate his body. What he wanted to do at that moment was to get up and punch that pig into next week for daring to look at her like that. But he kept his composure and decided not to make a big deal out of it. 
      There was literally no reason for him to get that angry. Besides the apparent reason that it made her uncomfortable and he shouldn’t allow something like that, especially when he is playing her boyfriend. But the sudden feeling to rip his head off filled him with turmoil.
      Jisung decided to ignore it for now, and he took his jacket off and placed it over her legs. Her head shot in his direction, confusion and at the same time relief present in her eyes.
      “What is that?” She asked, trying to act unaffected by Jay’s actions.
      “I just thought you might sit more comfortably with this over your legs. It stops unwanted attention.” He subtly glared at Jay, but he didn’t seem to pay him any mind as his eyes were now fixed on Mina’s chest.
      “Thank you!” She said, bringing the jacket further up to cover her thighs better.
      Jisung inched just a little bit closer to her and cupped her face. Placing his lips on hers, he forcefully pushed his tongue in her mouth, taking her by surprise. He made sure their heads were positioned in such a way that the two on the blanket next to them will be able to see the exchange of their mouths. 
      Mina was watching Jisung drag his tongue inside Y/N’s mouth, his eyes closed in satisfaction. The exchange wasn’t rushed, and the way his thumb would caress her cheek so gently had her bursting with jealousy. Jisung had never kissed her like that. Their kisses were always rushed and sloppy, driven by sexual needs.
      When she first heard about their little relationship, she laughed. She thought it was some kind of stupid joke. But then she saw how they behaved. The kisses, the hugs, the hand holding, how he would always have a hand around her shoulders. In the three days, they dated he showed Y/N more love than he showed her in a year and a half.
      Her initial plan was to tease him a little bit, then finally accept to be his girlfriend. She didn’t think he'd go and find himself a girlfriend. And especially not her. From all the people he could choose it had to be her. Looking at them now, Mina regretted her decision.
      Jisung broke the kiss and looked into her fluttering eyes before placing a peck on her nose. Y/N was sitting there dizzy from everything that happened. His sudden boldness left her speechless and burning hot from the embarrassment of being seen doing something like that.
      She wanted to question him. Ask him why he suddenly did something like that. However, a loud sound erupted from the speakers surrounding them, signaling the start of the movie. So she focused her vision on the big cloth in front of her and decided to ignore it.
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      She shivered discreetly as a wave of cold hit her body. The movie was only half done, and with the midnight approaching slowly, a chilly air adorned their surroundings. The weather forecast predicted high temperatures, but at that moment she was far away from her city, and so the weather was different.
      Y/N rubbed one of her arms with her hand, regretting not taking a jacket with her just in case something like that was to happen. From the corner of his eye, Jisung noticed her actions, and he leaned in close to her to whisper in her ear.
      “Hey, are you ok?” His hot breath on her ear made the hair at the back of her neck stand up.
      “Yeah, I’m just a little bit cold. I’ll be fine!” She whispered back giving him reassuring eyes.
      Jisung thought for a second of what he could do. He didn’t have another jacket, and he didn’t want her to uncover her legs. At least not when Jay was around. An idea finally struck him, and he softly called her name, catching her attention again.
      When she turned to look at him, he tapped the space between his spread legs. Y/N raised an eyebrow at his gesture.
      “What does that mean?” She sounded a little bit annoyed.
      “Come sit here. I’ll cuddle you so you won’t be cold anymore.” Y/N threw him a weirded out look. “We are ‘dating’. No one will find it weird. Or you could just stay there and freeze to death.” The man explained his voice a little bit louder than before.
      She pondered his offer for a bit before getting up and making her way between his legs. She let herself fall backwards until her back hit his chest softly. Jisung put his arms around her, and warmth started enveloping her almost instantly. Y/N let out a purr at the newfound comfort, and her eyes shot open at the realisation of what she just did.
      “Hey, don’t get too comfortable, you hear me? I’m doing this just because Mina might be watching.” She warned, her voice stern hoping he missed her last action.
      Jisung rolled his eyes but decided not to bring up the sound she just let out. For now, he just wanted to enjoy the newfound proximity. Only so they can make Mina jealous. Right?
      They sat like that, none of them daring to move. For some reason, Jisung found the position really comfortable. A few days prior at the start of their relationship he found skinship really awkward but now it wasn’t like that anymore. It felt almost natural. Like they have been doing it for a long time.
      Some more time passed, but Jisung wasn’t sure how much. The movie was approaching its climax, and the man felt bored out of his mind. Was it really worth going through that only to get his dick wet? But then he remembered who he was doing it for. He was doing it so he and Mina, the girl who he has been in love with for the longest time, could finally be together. And when it happens, he will be able to slide his hand through her silky hair, and feel her smooth skin and kiss her soft lips without having to call it a friendly gesture.
      His trail of thoughts was interrupted by a quiet mumbling coming from Y/N. Her voice was so small that Jisung couldn’t hear her.
      “What?” He leaned his head down in order to hear her when she talks.
      For a minute, there was silence. Thinking that she didn’t hear him, Jisung wanted to repeat the question when a puff of air left her mouth. Right after, she turned slightly to the side, pushing her head more against his chest, and that is when he realised that she fell asleep.
      An involuntary smile tugged at his lips, and his heart started beating faster. He couldn’t explain why he was so happy about it. It was going to be a pain in the ass. Having to wake her up and wait for her to recover from her dazed form. They were going to be the last ones to leave after the movie was over.
      A whistle-like noise left Y/N’s nose when she expired the cold air of the night, and his smile turned into a grin. Jisung moved a few strands of hair from her face before wrapping his hands better around her to keep her warm. He placed a kiss on top of her head and rested his chin on her head, swaying slightly while continuing to watch the movie.
      If you were to ask Mina what has happened so far in the movie, she couldn’t give you an answer. As much as she wanted to see the film, the girl’s eyes seemed to be more interested in whatever was happening on the blanket on her left. 
      She watched as they were cuddling and whispering to each other things she couldn’t hear. Then Y/N fell asleep, and Jisung seemed to be even more loving, hugging her even tighter and kissing her. She was wondering if he has ever done that to her on the many nights they shared a bed.
      Mina never thought she would be that affected by the fact that Jisung has found himself a girlfriend. After all, he was just one of the many boys she was hooking up with. She never thought she would have feelings for him, but here she was, being jealous of the last person she ever thought she would.
      She had to somehow get the boy back. She wanted to see it as a challenge, but she couldn’t. It had barely been two weeks since they ‘broke up’ and scarcely four days since he started dating that perfect little missy. Love doesn’t fade away that fast. She’ll have him back in no time.
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      Y/N felt someone shaking her arm gently, and she mumbled some incoherent words, pushing the hand away. She was sleeping so well, she didn’t want to wake up. A hand pushed a hair strand that was ticking her nose out of the way before grabbing her shoulder and shaking it again. She groaned in annoyance.
      “Wake up, Y/N! You have to go home. Unless you want me to take you to my place.” Someone whispered close to her face, and her eyes fluttered open, trying to make up her surroundings.
      The first thing she saw when she finally managed to blink the sleep away was Jisung’s smirking face. God, he was so annoying. Ignoring him and looking around, she noticed she was in his parked car in front of her apartment complex. She vaguely remembered falling asleep, but she doesn’t remember waking up to get to the car.
      “How did I get here? Did you wake me up?” Y/N asked, straightening her body and inhaling the cold air of the night.
      Jisung held her hand and helped her out of the car before slamming the door closed. He let her lean against the front door and opened the back door to fish her purse from the back seat.
      “I didn’t. You were way too cute when you shut up. Like a little obedient kitty. I had to enjoy the moment a little bit longer.” He teased, putting a hand around her waist and making their way to the entrance in the complex.
      Y/N scoffed at his childish remark but decided to ignore it. She didn’t have the necessary energy to argue with him.
      “So you carried me to the car? What about the blanket and the other stuff you had there? Did you go back for them?”
      “No, I had Jay get them for me, so I don’t wake you up.” 
      Stopping in front of the elevator, Jisung pushed the button, and they waited a few seconds for the doors to open. Stepping inside, Y/N pushed the button for the third floor before leaning back against Jisung.
      “Talking about Jay. Thank you for today!” The man threw her a questioning look, acting as nonchalant as he could.
      “What do you mean?”
      “Don’t act dumb! I know you didn’t give me your jacket just because you are nice like that. You saw how he looked at me.” She wanted to sound more aggressive, but her voice came out soft and calm since she was still sleepy.
      Jisung found that adorable but surpassed a smile. Adopting a disinterested expression, he spoke.
      “He did? I didn’t notice. I just thought that, as your boyfriend, I shouldn’t let everyone see your underwear.” Y/N punched him in the stomach lightly, and Jisung dramatically bent down, letting out a fake grunt.
      “You are such an asshole!”
      A loud ding echoed in the restricted space, and the doors opened, revealing the dirty wall of the third floor. They stepped out of the elevator and slowly walked down the hallway to where Y/N’s apartment door was. Taking her purse from Jisung’s hand and finding her keys, she unlocked the door and opened it.
      She leaned against the door frame and looked up at Jisung, giving him a bright smile.
      “I'd like to say that I had fun, but I fell asleep halfway through the date.” She giggled, trying to mask her embarrassment. “But it was nice getting out of the house. Thank you for today!”
      The man put his hands in his jean’s pockets and scoffed.
      “You are lucky Mina got upset by you sleeping on me. Otherwise, I would have gotten angry. My shoulders are so stiff from having to support your weight. I might not recover for a few days.” A fake pained groan left his throat, and Y/N rolled her eyes.
      Lifting herself on her tiptoes, she placed one hand on his shoulder and brought his head lower. She connected her lips with his in a short kiss. Breaking the kiss, she stepped inside her apartment and kept the door open enough for her head to be visible.
      “See you on Monday!” With that, she closed the door all the way and made her way into her bedroom.
      She wasn’t sure what was the time, but it must have been well past 11 PM. Taking off the dress, she discarded it on the floor before grabbing the oversized t-shirt from the back of the desk chair. She put it on and threw herself on the bed, letting the sheets envelop her body before falling asleep.
      Y/N’s eyes shot open, and her mouth fell open as the realisation of what she did only moments prior sank in. Putting the back of her hand over her forehead and exhaling deeply, her eyes closed and her brows furrowed. Why did she kiss him? She’ll never interact with anyone while she’s still drunk on sleep.
      Meanwhile, Jisung that just exited the complex couldn’t contain his smile. He couldn’t understand why that was happening. They kissed before to make Mina jealous. But maybe that was precisely the reasons such an insignificant gesture brought him so much joy. Mina was nowhere near. A spark erupted in his stomach at the thought that the girl might have a crush on him.
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      “Do it again! With more love this time. Come on. You want me! You desire me!” Y/N ordered to Jeongin.
      The man let out a frustrated groan, using the script to cover his eyes from the brightness of the sun.
      Both of them, Hyunjin and Jisung, were outside, in front of the university. They had a free period and decided to practice the script for the short movie they were playing in. Hyunjin, although not part of the film itself, was always with them thanks to Mrs. Bae’s affinity towards him. 
      Jisung, however, was new in the picture. Ever since they went on that date a week and a half ago, he seemed to be spending more time with her. She felt mildly suffocated by that but decided not to question it. As long as he wasn’t distracting her from her usual activities, she didn’t mind him tagging along.
      “You don’t make desiring you really easy. We’ve done it four times already. We will start filming in three months. I don't have to be perfect right now!” Jeongin exclaimed letting his body fall on the bench on which Jisung and Hyunjin were seated.
      “Hey! Be careful of what you say. My girlfriend is very, much desirable!” Jisung said in a jokingly offended tone earning disgusted groans from the other two men.
      “Really dude? I could have lived my life without knowing that information.” Jeongin started fanning himself with the script. It was a sweltering day.
      “I don’t understand why you are here. You are only four-wheeling us.” Hyunjin remarked, earning himself a dirty look from Jisung.
      “A car needs all four wheels to be functional.”
      “Yeah, babe, but we are a tricycle.”
      Hyunjin, Jeongin and Y/N erupted into laughter at Jisung’s dumbfounded expression. From behind Y/N, they heard even louder laughter and Hyunjin scoffed at the scene unfolding under his eyes. 
      “I swear to God! Mina has been so annoying lately. Much more than when she used to hang out with Jisung. It’s as if she’s following us around.” The man rolled his eyes as he remembered how many times Mina ‘coincidentally’ happened to be in the same place as them the past week.
      “Tell me about it. And how she is always with Jay from our major. If I wanted to watch live porn, I would have signed up on one of those porn sites.” Jeongin seemed as annoyed as the other man.
      “Don’t stress about that guys. I’m pretty sure these are just coincidences.” Y/N tried telling them, even though she knew everything they said was right.
      “No, I’m pretty sure they are not. There’s someone between us whose attention she’s trying to catch.” Hyunjin gave Jisung a side look.
      “You can’t be sure of that.” She played dumb, wanting more than anything to change the subject.
      “ Oh, please! She’s always watching him. In the cafeteria, when we are hanging around on our free periods, when she’s kissing that loser. It’s like he’s a good movie she can’t tear her eyes from.” Jeongin snapped, tired of the whole situation.
      “Then let’s give them something to look at!” Jisung smirked smugly.
      “What do..”
      In the next second, Y/N has been pulled on Jisungs lap, and he captured her lips in an urgent kiss. One hand was on the nape of her head forcefully holding her in the kiss, and the other one was on her ass cheek, squeezing it. 
      She heard someone awkwardly clearing their throat from her right, and all her senses heightened. Y/N placed her hands on Jisung’s shoulders and tried lightly pushing him away while uncomfortably shifting in his lap. As a response, the man groaned lowly and slid his hand from her neck to her chest, cupping it.
      Her eyes widened in shock at his action and mustering all the force she had in her, she pushed him away, finally breaking the kiss. A loud bang ringed around them as her hand made contact with his cheek. Jumping off his lap, she gathered her bag from the leg of the bench.
      “You are a fucking asshole!” She shouted in his face before storming off inside the university.
      The stomping of her boots was echoing in the empty halls, and the few students that were around decided to make her space to pass. Her thinking was clogged at the moment, and all she could feel was rage and shame. She was angrily making her way down the halls, but her destination was uncertain. She just wanted to be as far away from him as possible.
      Y/N heard quick steps from behind her, and a hand pulled at her shoulder. Without turning around, she shrugged it off and started walking faster. The person behind her also increased their walking speed, but this time around, they grabbed her wrist.
      Just as she was preparing to scream in their face, she was pulled into a hug, her face forced into a firm chest. Y/N felt herself calm down as the smell of a cologne she grew accustomed to in the last week invaded her lungs. His hand was gently rubbing her back, and she relaxed under her touch.
      “Are you okay?” Hyunjin whispered softly in her ear.
      She hid her face more in his chest, feeling shame overcome her.
      “I’m sorry you had to see that. I swear it’s not what you think! We’ve never…” Her voice was shaky, as if she was about to cry. Hyunjin cupped her face forcing her to look in his eyes. She could see concern and sadness hiding behind his brown orbs.
      “Why are you apologising to me? You are the one who’s been wronged here. I just wanna make sure you are okay.” His soft voice was acting as a calmative for her racing heartbeat.
      Y/N felt her insides flip at his caring words. His hands on her cheeks were hot, and she decided to blame them for the blush that acaparated her face.
      “Hey! Step away from my girlfriend, you motherfucker!” Jisung’s voice filled her ears, and she saw Hyunjin roll his eyes.
      The warmth of his body left her, and he crossed his arms as Jisung finally arrived in front of them. Hyunjin was looking down at the other man, and both their expressions were filled with anger.
      “I was just making sure she’s fine. It looks like you took your time deciding to do the same.” The taller man spat venom dripping off his tongue.
      “It’s none of your business how I handle my relationship!” Jisung adopted a louder tone bringing his face closer to Hyunjin’s.
      “But it is when you decide to act like a bitch in heat and make your girlfriend uncomfortable. This is why Mina never dated you and why you and Y/N won’t last long!”
      Jisung clenched his jaw upon hearing the other man’s words, and before anyone could register what was happening, he plunged his fist into Hyunjin’s face.
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ellitx · 4 years ago
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!! Long one inc with modern au college Himmel, will be hurt/comfort (might be cringe i dunno i went ham) TW: mentions of mental illnesses and self harm, mentions of injuries, and smut ye
Was a quiet rainy day as you slept, back pressed into your boyfriend's chest, you had decided to come over to watch movies and spend some time relaxing together after finals but about an hour in you let a lull like state wash over you.
"This is the only time you look so peaceful y/n.." Himmel thought, "if only you'd let your walls down a bit.. just enough to let me in.." he brushed your cheek with the back of his hand with a feather light touch on your cheek "Im so sorry that you have to carry so much weight.. I'd do anything to help wash it away or at least help lift it"
Drinking in your form as you slept softly into him, he wishes to stay like this for hours, but he knows that as soon as consciousness comes over you again, the walls will be re-built, and your shoulders will re-tense with the weight they bear. He leans in to kiss your temple and stroke your hair softly praying not to wake you
Recalling all the stories you told him, the shitty ex that was so selfish of his own desires that it implanted the idea that all intimacy was, was to please the man. Now leaving scars that you cant even take for yourself in those times even though all he wants is to please, and pour the love you desperately need into you, over and over but even a year or so into the relationship, you had only given to him.. bearly even allowing him to sheath himself in you, and thats just the tip of the iceberg " you dont even let anyone help you, but all you do is give, how much longer until you cup is empty.." He thought kissing you softly once more
"Hmm..?" You sir and turn to face him "I-i'm so sorry I didn't mean to fall asleep.." he strokes your hair again to hush you "Its okay, Im glad you were able to get some rest" he whispered kisses on the lips proper pulling you in a bit closer and letting his hands run up and down your sides. "Himmel I hope youre not upset at me.." you gripped onto his shirt a bit and buried your head in his chest "we were supposed to hangout today and I feel awful for falling asleep.." you mumbled
"Stop that now.. you were exhausted.. its really okay" he softly pulls your face up to kiss you again licking your bottom lip praying you let him in, turning you head slightly and parting your lips you let him in "Thank god at least this.." he thought as he let his toungue rub against yours while sliding his hands down your sides and slipping his finger tips under the hem of your tights.
A small flinch came from you as he did this as a bit of panic started to set in.. you were so self conscious of yourself, you didnt feel ever adequate enough even to call your self his lover or even to indulge yourself in things like this. He can feel you starting to tense up.. "Mmm.. y/n just relax love.. please.." he start trailing kisses down your neckline "H-Himmel.. I really don't know I.." tears start to well up in your eyes. He knew what was about to happen you were going to push him away and it made his heart squeeze in agony all he wanted was to give and show you love, but he didn't want to force it too much to scare you but it had been going on so long, so he tried shifting his weight to straddle you but you managed to squeeze out from underneath him.
"I-i'm sorry.. I think I should go.." you choke out, your voice shaky whilst trying to stay composed you head for the door. "Y/n Wait please!" You heaved a heavy sigh as you felt his hand catch your wrist, you try to twist out of it but he pulls you in firm but gentle.. " God y/n.. just let me in..please let me tear down those walls and let me love you.." he swallowed, his throat bobbing and icy blue eyes staring straight into yours "You can't keep pushing me out.., you won't even let me help you with anything and it hurts.. even when your sick and dead tired all you do is push me and anyone out.. saying that its alright but it's really not.." He chocked out between sobs "please y/n.. I love you.. and if you love me like you say you do then please just let me.. anyone, help you.. I cant stand to see you like this.. Ive known you for our whole lives almost and I finally have you.. and seeing you in pain from the hand you've been delt hurts more than you'd ever imagine..!
You stood frozen wet face and shaking, silently letting all the words sink in, you felt awful for doing this to him, you thought, he had been there with you through almost every step of your life, even giving you up to a man who he wasn't good to you because you said at the time because you said it was what would make you happy at the time and even now.. he'd be willing to throw everything at the wall to sew you back together, to see the smile, the true smile that he hasent seen in years.
And again all you could do is "I'm sorry Himmel you deserve someone better.. you've done so much for someone whos worth nothing.." so you get up and pull away from him once again and run out of the door into the rain but not soon after did you feel your soaked self being almost held with unwavering force "NO..! Not again.. not ever.. and plus I am not letting you leave this house in this weather I couldn't bear to see you sick from something I could prevent..!" He yells as he slung you over his shoulder carrying you back inside and into the bathroom
"Strip.. youre soaking wet.. and shaking.." he said calm but sternly ,you flushed at his command, hes usually not like this.. you thought through your tears and nervously removed your clothing as did he. You curled up to cover your naked form as he bent down placing a towel over your shoulders and held you, slowly rubbing to dry and warm you, and as soon as you were dry and coming down from your clouded tears, he helps you up off the floor draping the towel over the both of you leading to the mirror.
"Y/n.. I know when you look into this mirror you dont like what you see.. and think you dont deserve the I want to give you.. but please.." He pauses to hold your hands at your sides , to let all your beauty and all your scars, visible and unseen reflect back at you "see yourself through my eyes for just a bit my songbird.. you're not what you see.." you again begin to let tears fall and with a quiet sob "I-Im so sorry.. I do love you.. im just scared.."
"Then let me fix whats right here.." he snakes his arm around to gently rest a hand on your heart "and right here.." and his other over your womb space then lays his head on your shoulder with a kiss to the crook of your neck "Let me pull the sorrow from between your legs like silk.. knot after knot after knot.." he whispered almost pleadingly
"O-okay.." you lean into him a bit wiping your tears with the back of your hand kissing his temple. With that he gently picks you up with your legs wrapping around his waist he grips you firm and gentle untill he enters his bedroom, locking the door behind him, then setting you down on the bed not once letting go.
"Himmel.. are you sure you still..? "Shh.. please.." he kisses to hush you, then slowly trails soft sensual kisses down your body worshipping each and every inch, pouring all the love you gave him back into you trying to ignore his own arousal. Trying your best to keep still your face burned as he did this, not wanting to move and let any moans escape, you put your hand over your mouth to stifle them "no one will hear you its okay.." He said as he continues downward towards your heat "Nng.. my love I-" he felt you begin to tense up again he rubs his hands down your thighs and kisses them softly sucking and licking them "Just relax y/n.."
You breathed a shaky sigh as he spread your legs and began to slow rub at your core admiring your slick that adorned his finger tips. "Ahh..~ its a shame you've been keeping yourself from me.. your essence is divine" his hot breath so close to you it sent electricity you've never even felt before, were you even worthy of such extacy? you though stifling another moan, internally fighting the want to pull away again, if its what he wants then you shall deliver.
"Oh how Ive longed for this.. to please you, to drink in every once of you.. and to replace the pain with pleasure.." He began to lick a stripe up your slit and gently pressed his two fingers on your clit, swirling them in unison to bring you to a higher bliss "H-Himmel.. Ahh.. its so good.. Nng..!"
The heat building in you, you couldn't help but grind against him "Dont be ashamed love..~ do what mm..~ feels best for you.. dont hide your moans.. I wanna hear my pretty little song bird sing~! He saids darting this tongue deeper into you whilst grinding against the bed, he couldn't help it, its all ever dreamed of ashamedly, consuming you whole so his arousal was unmatched
Panting with heavy and louder moans you wrapped your legs around his head, letting gain more access, with him gripping onto your thighs and moaning into you, the vibrations coming from him wond you so tightly threatening to spill all over him.. so you grip his head and try to push him away "Ahh..! Im.. so close.. Himme-- Ahh!" He only grips you tighter and grinds himself harder against the sheets chasing his own release "Dont..! Aaah!! Im right there..dont push me off of you..! I love you so.. dont deny me..! Nnnng..!" And with him losing himself in you, lapping at you so desperately you come down onto him, covering him in you, with him coming in tandem..
Panting he wipes his face with the sheets "Thank you for finally letting me love you right.."
(im so sorry if this is omega long and kinda intense?? Kinda just rolling with it i have full himmel disease -💚)
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ahhhh another himmel food <333 you’re feeding me so much with these sweet sweet himmel contents and i really really love it 🥺💕💕
I shall also feed you with a himmel content of my own as a thank you 😋 still working on it hehe
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diaryofabeautyfiend · 3 years ago
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* ⚠️ Warnings: A lot of angst. Mentions of sex. A little fluff. People drinking alcohol. ⚠️ This one shot was never meant to be a series. All of your love and appreciation spurred me in to write more. Hope you like this chapter. I cried while I was writing it. Part 5 is the finale.
Plain Gold Ring IV:
You Don’t Know What Love Is
“How could you know how lips hurt
'Till you've kissed and had to pay the cost
Baby, 'till you've flipped your heart and you have lost
You don't know what love is” Nina Simone
———————————————————————
Being on the board of your firm’s charity gala was a huge deal. On top of your normal duties you were in charge of the silent auction. The final auction items had all arrived and you had been busy categorizing everything and preparing for the night that you barely have time to focus on the Andy and Lori situation.
Not that it wasn’t grating on your last nerve. You were so short with everyone at work that it was becoming a problem. Stan had to have a talk with you. You just had to focus and get through this event.
Andy helped as much as he could. He was supportive when you were frustrated and quickly learned when to back off. Sometimes you were up until the wee hours he would literally drag you to bed. He knew how to keep your mind off of work for a while.
You were so busy that you hadn’t even purchased a dress. You and Liz went shopping after work. She was the only person to know about you and Andy.
“What do you think of this one? Think Andy will like it?” You wore a black long sleeved gown with a v that went down to right above your belly button and a slit up to your mid thigh.
“I mean, I’d fuck you.” she deadpanned. This was the dress. You would be comfortable in it all night. You also looked like a powerful bitch who would slit your throat.
———————————————————————
You had to be at the site earlier than the guests so you did your hair and most of your makeup at home. Andy had not seen your dress on purpose. You wanted him to see you when he walked in with Lori. Your petty brain was on overdrive.
“Well you look great” Andy said pointing to your sweats.
“Shush. I’m not putting on my dress and heels until the last second. I pressed your shirt it’s hanging in your closet. I also picked up your tux from the cleaners.”
He slid his arms around you and looked at you in the mirror. “Why are you so good to me?” His hands roamed your body and made contact with your bare skin under your tshirt.
“I am gonna be late.” You swatted his hands away.
“You have four hours. Didn’t you hire party planners?”
“Yes. I still need to get my nails done and set up the auction. You can have your way with me later.”
“But I want to now” he whined. “Please. I’ll be really quick.”
You giggled , “Sounds really fun for me. You know I would never ever miss an opportunity to cum all over your cock…” your face was so close to his your lips were nearly touching. Your hands were on his chest. His were on your hips pulling you closer. “But I have to go. Bye, baby.”
“Tease! You’ll pay for that.” he called after you.
You winked at him as you headed out of the door, “I certainly hope so.”
All Andy could do was laugh. He wished he could spend this evening whisking you around the dance floor. He couldn’t wait to see how beautiful you would look tonight.
In two days you would be on your way to Chicago. The movers were already on the way with your furniture. Your suitcase was in the process of being packed. He hated it. He was taking a long weekend to help you get settled. By Wednesday morning you would have to say goodbye. His heart broke a little every time he thought about it. Every single day he wanted to say he loved you. He was reluctant to ruin what you had knowing there was no way around the inevitable.
———————————————————————
Everything was set. The only thing left was for you to get dressed. You re-sprayed your hair and put on your jewelry. You spritzed Chanel over your wrists neck and cleavage. Last thing was to coat your lips in a matte oxblood to match your nails. You looked sleek and downright terrifying. Just as you planned.
“They just walked in.” Liz whispered from the doorway.
“How does she look?”
“Pretty and appropriate.”
“How do I look?”
“Like a bad bitch. Let’s go.”
You walked out with your shoulders back and your head high. You made sure the gown swished enough to expose your legs and the impossibly high heels you wore. Andy saw you from across the room and stopped dead in his tracks. You looked like you were walking in slow motion. He almost dropped his drink.
You made a b line for Stan and his wife Elaine who were standing directly behind the other couple. He smelled your perfume wafting off of you when you walked by. He almost lost it right there.
“Y/N! What a knockout. Elaine, isn’t she gorgeous?” You kissed his cheek with the side of your mouth careful not to smear your lipstick.
“Christ, Stan. Keep it in your pants. You look beautiful, honey.”
“Thank you, Elaine. So good to see you. Lovely as always.”
“Thank you, dear. Now how is it possible you are here without a date? Stan, you work the poor thing so much she can’t even find a man. That’s why she’s leaving you.”
“And for many other reasons” you joked. You were very much aware that Andy was behind you. “Elaine have you met Andy and Lori Barber?”
You took Lori’s hand and ushered them over. “No, I haven’t. So nice to finally meet you.”
“You get to know each other. I’m going to grab a drink. Can I get anyone anything?” Such a good hostess.
“I’d love a scotch. Elaine wine?” She nodded.
“Andy?”
“You won’t be able to carry all of those drinks. Let me come with you.” Andy patted Lori on the arm. “I’ll be right back.” When you were far enough away he took a long look at you. “How long til I get to rip that dress off of you?”
Your cheeks heated, “You won’t be ripping anything. This dress cost a fortune. It’s far too pretty to ruin especially with panty lines.”
“Fuck. I’m gonna ruin that pussy.”
“Promises promises, Mr. Barber.” He groaned and adjusted his pants.
“Such a tease.”
You delivered the drinks and excused yourself. For the rest of the night Andy only caught glimpses of you. He tried not to make it obvious but Lori could see. Once upon a time he looked at her like that. Except the way he looked at you was a look of complete adoration.
You tried avoiding the Barbers all night. The whole time Andy schmoozed and did his Andy thing, his arm was around her waist. She kept her hand on his chest. They were always finding little ways to touch each other. When he kissed her temple you nearly broke the clipboard you were holding.
Stan stood next to you draining his fourth drink, “You ok there, champ? Sweet couple aren’t they?”
“Yeah. They’re adorable.” You slammed the rest of your Old Fashion.
“Reminds me of me and Katherine . Remember Katherine?”
“Was she your second or third wife? I don’t remember.” Your words were dripping with sarcasm.
“Second. Every time we had one of these things Katherine was on my arm. She was great at this shit. She’d chat it up with the partner’s wives earning me brownie points while I fucked Elaine’s brains out in the John. Know why I married Elaine? She was the best goddamn litigator I’d ever seen. Gets my dick hard every time I think about it. She lit a fire in me that couldn’t be stoked. Kind of like you do for Andy.”
You blanched, “What do you mean?”
“Oh save it. I know you’re fucking. The whole office does. I see how he looks at you. But you can’t see how you look at him. Don’t let the act fool you. He’s stupid for you. Let me keep him for a couple of months before you move him to Chicago ok? He can make us some serious money.” He patted you on the ass and went back to Elaine. She was waiting for him with a big smile that he drunkenly devoured.
———————————————————————
The band started playing. When a slow song came on Lori took Andy’s hand. “Dance with me?”
For possibly the last time he held her. She closed her eyes, rested her head on his shoulder and let him lead her around the dance floor. He wasn’t reciprocating with the same tenderness. His eyes were held on you.
You watched him place his hand on the small of her back. The way he held her hand was a practiced action that he had perfected over sixteen years. When he let himself get lost for just a moment he was overcome with grief for himself and Lori. He pressed a kiss to her lips. Her heart fluttered and she kissed him back. You rushed out of the room when you saw them.
Lori felt her husband’s body stiffen. His hold on her loosened. It felt like he was forcing his body to stay with her. She understood why his mood shifted when she saw you leaving. She looked up at him. His eyebrows were knitted together with worry.
“How long have you been sleeping with her?” she asked quietly.
“A month. Maybe longer.” He couldn’t look at her. Couldn’t lie.
“So basically since you left.”
“My second day there. Lori, I’m so sorry. It just happened. I wasn’t looking for anything.”
“No, but you were open to something happening. Does everyone here know? Of course they do. I’m so humiliated. I think I’d like to go home.”
“I’ll get the car.”
“No. I can get myself home. This night is too important for you to leave early.”
“Lori…”
“I don’t want to be around you right now, Andy. I can’t.” She let go of his hand and left. She carried herself with poise and dignity but inside she was dying.
You were nowhere to be found. He spotted Liz who was chatting with some friends. “Where is she?”
“Auctions over. She left.”
“Shit. Thanks.”
“Andy, be gentle with her. Idiots.”
He ran to the valet and jumped in his car to race home. When he got out he noticed a suit case in the back of your car. The elevator was taking forever. He took the stairs two at a time to reach you before you got away.
He heard your heels clacking on the hardwood. Clothes were everywhere. “Y/N?”
“Bedroom.” You were still in your pretty dress. Still all made up throwing things in another suitcase.
“Going somewhere?”
“Hotel.”
“Mind telling me why?” His voice was hoarse like he had been screaming.
“The way you held her…you kissed her.” He grabbed your hands to make you look at him but you yanked them away. “This was stupid. I should have never gotten involved with you in the first place. Married men never leave. Please get out of my way, Andy. I have to go.”
“You think this was a mistake?” Slow tears rolled down his face. He undid his bow tie and sat down. “I don’t. I’m glad we met.”
“Why? Because I feel like my heart has been ripped from my chest. So why are you glad?”
“Because you reminded me what it felt like to be cared for. To feel loved. You showed me what I had been missing for a long time now.”
“Happy to have helped.” You continued emptying drawers.
“Please stop packing. Please.” You wouldn’t look at him. He tried grabbing you several times but you moved beyond his reach. “Damn it! Why? Why do you always run when things get hard?”
“I’m not running.”
“No? So Chicago just came up? Or did you put out your resume the second you heard I got the job you wanted?”
Your cheeks heated. “You know how this business works. If I got passed over this time, they’ll keep doing it.”
“Right. And tonight? The second things get weird you run.”
“You kissed her!” You were trying not to cry.
“I know. I was sad. We’ve been Andy and Lori for the majority of our lives. Tonight felt so final. I know we’ll always have Jacob but, there is nothing else there. Please. I am so in love with you. Please.” He dropped to his knees and hugged you tight around your waist.
“Andy, you have to let me go.” He pressed his face into your stomach and broke down. “Andy? Sweetie? Come on. Let go.”
“Tell me you don’t love me and I’ll let you walk out of that door. I’ll never contact you again. But I know you do.”
“Stop….”
“Aren’t you tired of running?” You were tired. You ran away from your family, former lovers, dead end jobs. You wanted to finally be settled. Leave with a clean break. There was nothing clean about this. If you said you loved him there was no going back. This would be at least three years of a long distance relationship because he won’t leave Jacob. You didn’t want him to leave his son. This would be you exhibiting a level of trust you weren’t sure you had. He fell in love with you so fast. In your absence, what would stop him from falling for someone else? You were so weak when it came to Andy. Fucking perfect at everything Andy fucking Barber. Why couldn’t you shake him? Why couldn’t you just walk away like you have been trying to do since the first time you had sex?
BECAUSE WE LOVE HIM YOU DUMB TWAT. Your brain screamed. You couldn’t make your mouth work. You ran your fingers through his hair, “I love you, Andy.”
He pulled you down onto the floor and kissed you with abandon. “Say that again.” he whispered against your mouth.
“I love you. I love you. God help me, I love you.” A smile was plastered on his face for the rest of the night. Packing could wait.
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luminous-shifting-vibes · 4 years ago
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*sequel* to actual fucking quotes from the shiftblr coffeehouse discord server
once again, it's out of context because x1000 funnier
also x1000 longer than previous post
"ur satan is gnc af"
"Bestie I’m already having gender envy over a fucking demon please"
"O_O ODEPIJHFbavevisdpvfhzdcnjawedsidjksjdkoeirjfmkdsoeirujdksodifjndmksoidfjdksidfj ITS" NOT IN MY FRAFTS IS SPEDNT 1 hour PN THAT SHIT"
"AUGHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH"
"ohoho sexy"
"I am very proud of myself"
"himbo x edgy fuck"
"YOU COULD SQUISH HES CHEECKS"
"he has teefs"
"SQUASH"
"good for biting 📷"
"he's a himbo basically"
"B͂̒̄iͫ̍̈tͧ̓ͯè̄̇"
"bifth"
"i havent watched blue exorcist in years but mr okumura my beloved </3"
"MY LIFE QUESTIONS HAVE BEEN ANSWERED"
"is it important information to mention that the person i put up for my turn is the son of satan" "I know like 1 thing about everyone who isnt ranboo lmfao"
"crimes"
"tumblr sexyman"
"idk why but my first thought was cowboy onceler"
"I vibe with him but he is very long and twisty"
"steampunk e-girl"
"steampunk tumblr sexyman"
"Canonically bi crimelord I agree!!"
"OOO FRIEND SHAPED"
"ARTIST SIGHTED"
"they look like someone i would want to be friends with but is way cooler than me so i'd never actually talk to them"
"babby..... would die for him"
"honestly i probably kin him"
"i'm sure he's lovely but he looks way too much like my ex i'm sorry-"
"i'd be down for another rotation! i have another twink to show y'all"
"Also :00 blonde friend"
"Let us all infodhmo"
"Hsjagdvbs shhh im on phone"
"Nix woukd you like to joon?
"skitters away"
"I have two braincells and they both drink dumb bitch juice"
"oof wait whats the order again i have 0 memory"
"i want to bond with him over cosplay-"
"Awkwardly watches in band kid"
"One day I'm gonna a broadway star"
"which isnt to say they were bad. they were just fortnite dancing during rehersals"
"I threw it so hard my glasses flew off and slid under the stage right divider"
"anyway heres my boi"
"emo"
"haha emo"
"virgil sanders kinnie"
"he looks like he listens to my chemical panic at the fallout boy"
"Bro I bet he'd kick my ass with his deck"
"bird man my beloved"
"fuck i had so much to say and then i forgot it all"
"Birds!!"
"guiguhuh"
"crabrave"
"She sounds like someone I would end up stealing her personality"
"yess name collector gang"
"alias glass aiden haven absinthe fish brick rice"
"But I have Cypress, Remure, Genesis, Lemres, and Comet"
"And she's named after a mars candy bar bc alien"
"Hey, if plato went by plato, you can be king thief"
"im not dissing my gramma like that shfojd"
"My dad has seven legal names" "bitches be like *looks at fictional character* *steals their name* it's us we're bithces"
"coraline lowkey traumatized me but i adore it regardless"
"mmmmmm magic man :]"
"°0° green man"
"criminal (affectionate)"
"he would shoplift a candy bar from walmart and then brag to all of his friends about the sick stealing he did"
"despite the fact he's canonically been capable of overpowering a minor deity"
"i would commit so many crimes for him"
"Very babey"
"Yes please tell green man he is very pog"
"he also keeps a lot of dumb secrets"
"but I will sorely miss the chaos and energy of this here chat until I wake again" (by request XD)
"i just say words and if they're funny then they're funny"
"* or extremly chaotic either works"
"at this point we are just taking turns rambling"
"oH--"
"bc my brain has a schedule"
"Hopefully they have gyoza there or I will lose my mind"
"hehe yes spooky man"
"my ghost glucose guardian"
"the head of the undead group that lives there, and we end up dating. (yes I date a ghost, no I will not be taking constructive criticism /lh)"
"ghosts r just inherently sexy"
"i mean im becoming a squid thing so"
"Raven quirk raven quirk!!"
"ł â m p"
"łæmp"
"mothman: ooh lamp you look very nice today! do you come here often? mothman: wait shit no"
"I'd date a ghost"
"mine is still accurate, i am still sobbing (/j)"
"p e e p e e"
""@nick wilde is a tumblr sexyman" is the best thing i have ever seen"
"im sorry im cackling like a dying hyena"
"you're all 12 year olds"
"PEENIE"
"He once caused global warming on accident so he could get a tan"
"god, what a himbo. i love him"
"that reminds me of my friends kin assigned me jesus"
"Man outside of battle be like: princely crying but then in battle hes like: "CATACLYSM! DISASTER! DEVASTATION!" Chill out man"
"Every time I talk about satan it never fails to shock people it's my favorite thing to do"
"im kin assigning him roman sanders" ""Oh yeah he caused global warming because he wanted to get girls" "he what""
"oh damn i forgot satan was straight"
"twink appreciation club"
"give us the twinks"
"my first thought was bottom-"
"so many people to try and get his dad to love him"
"daddy issued"
"OH MY GOD ITS WILBUR"
"Big boy but"
"anyways janus is swagggg"
"........................."
"gib twink"
"give twink then i will share"
"holds him gentle like hamburger"
"This dumb bitch opened a book that said "do not open" and got possessed by a little bastard"
"he is. fragile creachur"
"klug is beauty klug is grace i would let him step on my face"
"If I'm playing swap and I have to hear one more "Pwanet Powew" Im gonna lose it"
"Who is to blame? Pandora or the box?"
"Bakugo isnt my type but I respect the drip"
"i say like my type isnt long-haired pretty boys and girls that look so gnc that people have a history of confusing them for men"
"hes a gremlin and i can appreciate a pretty gremlin"
"that is to say i am attracted to VFlower vocaloid. This is a confession."
"note i am a lesbian"
"You may like Schezo wegey"
"why does he have one single expression"
"soul soul eater passes the vibe check"
"magic wand"
"I Want To Hold His Hand"
"i would commit a war crime for him any war crime idc which one"
"my favorite one is when he sounded rlly gay because he said "Muscular bodies keep me satisfied""
"p e a n u t"
"Klug is a homophobic homosexual its just facts"
"grug from the croods is peak male performance"
"jaw drops to floor, eyes pop out of sockets accompanied by trumpets, heart beats out of chest, awooga awooga sound effect, pulls chain on train whistle that has appeared next to head as steam blows out, slams fists on table, rattling any plates, bowls or silverware, whistles loudly, fireworks shoot from top of head, pants loudly as tongue hangs out of mouth, wipes comically large bead of sweat from forehead, clears throat, straightens tie, combs hair Ahem, you look very lovely."
"tag yourself im the fireworks shooting from the top of the head"
"i like essays"
"central time gang"
"11:11 pog-" (wait... is that a suprise angel number?? yes it is lovelies just for you <3)
"Then again im also a dumbass bitch who wonders what the souls in soul eater taste like. SERIOUSLY THOUGH. THEY LOOK TASTY AS HELL!!!! LIKE GODDAMN BRO YOU'RE MAKING ME FUCKING HUNGRY. Like. that shit- it's Bone Apple motherfucking Teeth. hell yea my guy. Im hongy now.... shlorp I'm seriously considering this. Like. They seem kinda like a liquid? But a solid? Are they like jello? The fuck they taste like my guy???? I keep imagining they're like sour, like sour candy maybe? Or do they taste salty? Sweet? Maybe some combo of two? Do they even have a taste or is it about the texture? The sensation? God my mouth is watering what the hell. I am starving. I think I need to go get a cookie. I'm gonna go get a cookie. Brb. I'm better. I'm still craving souls though. Which is a weird-ass cringey thing to say but I'm being dead-ass rn. They just.... look tasty???? And I wanna eat one. Thus. I am shifting to Soul Eater for the express purpose of satisfying my fucking cravings. enjoy"
"points were made"
"jello? more like helloooo schloooAHFJDSDAIDWNALDHSJKDAIDANDM"
"WAIT I THINK I HAVE AN ANIME GIRL BITING VIDEO TOO"
"anime girl voice: mmm! mm... ahhhhmp!! mmm, mmm... aaahmp!"
"i think it sounds great i'm going to start eating like that"
"several people are typing"
"do these look edible to you"
"forbidden gummies"
"when I was on lsd I couldn't eat my fruit gummies because I thought they were alive because they had little faces on them"
"oh shit yeah don't do drugs"
"anyways general consensus is puyos are edible, ty for your input everyone"
"everypony is a word so powerful it can bring nations to its knees"
"pls the self control it's taking me not to say "hewwo everypony" in gen chat when someone new joins-"
"hewwo evewrypony uwu deaw cewestia i hopwe it doewsnt wain owo"
"ive cooked up a sowution wiwth the knowwege ive acwued. they say a kitcwen time saves niwne, but im just savwing two. Ive gathewwed the inwedients to make a time sowbet. Thewe's hawdly woom fow seconds when the seconds mewt away."
"I had a ten year old sister... you know what happened to her??? very sad, very tragic... she turned eleven....."
"NIIICE"
"Guts dont say the secks word :( /j"
"watch your fucking language in front of the president"
"im so sorry lumi"
"i think you're like ehhhh 8/10 funny"
"now me???? 10/10. Hilarious"
"sometimes i have to take a step back and remember that this is the same guts i follow on tumblr /lh"
""ok every here's some good shifting advice!!! uwu have a good day" "yeah i did lsd and ate fruit gummies""
"i have one setting and it's whatever this is"
"my bitch ass cat just pushed the door open with his fuzzy face and now my sleeping dad is being lulled into dreams by Cosmo Sheldrake's 'Pliocine'."
"me on discord: nick wilde"
"me on tumblr: shifting water! haha funne! me on here: my hermit crabs are cannibals also i want to eat souls."
"im sorry yOUR VIBESA RE JUST SO DIFFERNT"
"u give off older cousin ive never spoken to but always admire at the family gatherings vibes"
"what the fuck"
"BC I HAVE LIBERTU"
"If you adopt me then yes"
"am I qualified for dad jokes???"
"we're all a lot smarter on tumblr"
"I'm like "awww... sweet... sweet little shiftlings... posting such sweet shiftling content... so pure, so wholesome... does not even know abcs....""
"can't think before you speak if you never think B)"
"I'm not responsible enough to be a mom"
"cat pet"
"show us pictures of the cat or i will do Crime"
"maybe thats me being a coward tho"
"MOTH!!!! MOTH MY BELOVED"
if y'all want I can make this a series bc shiftblr keeps giving me more content
34 notes · View notes
inqorporeal · 4 years ago
Text
Future Tense
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It was rare, Theron mused, that things were so quiet that they had a moment to relax like this. The cantina was bustling, and all of the advisors and primary staff had been able to justify taking the evening off. Theron got a lot of shit for being a workaholic, and even now he could feel the niggling itch of a puzzle left unsolved. But it could wait. For the moment, there were more important things to worry about.
Sitting in the booth beside him, the Commander cradled their drink between their hands and leaned a little more into Theron's space, seeking permission.
It was a… weird dynamic between them. The Commander was Imperial, Theron was a Republic spy. Feelings should never have developed between them; but what had begun as an uneasy alliance had blossomed into a mutual respect and even admiration. By the time Theron ran into them on their way to rescue him from the Revanites, well….
You couldn't fake that look of relief in a person's eyes. They had stood up for him, defended him, and hadn't agreed with Lana about her willful negligence which had led to Theron's capture. Seven years later and he was still awed that anyone had successfully extracted an apology, however reluctant, from a Sith Lord on his behalf. 
When they'd first begun their association chasing rumours of Revanites, Theron had been worried that the two Imperials might try to extract Republic secrets from him; neither had asked more than he was willing to offer, and even though he'd felt incredibly lonely during that time, he had also felt at ease. Nobody was leaning over his shoulder for once Marcus, nor prying into his downtime activities Jonas, and the people he had to work with had encouraged him to put the datapad down in the evenings to share a drink or two and talk shit about members of the Dark Council. Theron had felt free enough to dump some of his (non-classified) dirt on certain Senators, to the amused delight of his partners in conspiracy-routing.
So when the Commander had asked about Satele, Theron may have spilled a bit of long-held bitterness. It wasn't really fair of him -- Satele wouldn't have wanted to let Darth Marr know Theron might be leverage on her (he would be; her distance in his youth aside, Satele did care). But… he'd been tired. The painkillers had been wearing off. Maintaining a semblance of professional decorum during that meeting had consumed his remaining energy, and his patience had largely taken a leave of absence.
The Commander -- his ally, swiftly sliding into territory that could have tentatively been friendship -- had expressed concern, support, bantered lightly and teased him, drawing his mind away from the pressing issues for a precious moment. When they'd kissed him, it had felt real, like Theron was appreciated and cared for, like they had seen the worst sides of him and found the whole package worth the risk.
They had been risking everything, stealing private moments when and where they could on Yavin IV, surrounded by military detachments from both sides who clearly didn't trust each other. If anyone who had cared had caught them together, Theron would have lost his job and possibly been brought up for an official inquiry; who knew what the Commander had risked. Knowing the Sith, probably interrogation and/or death.
Just for him, Theron, a Jedi washout, an intelligence analyst with no life outside his work and a long list of past relationships that had never survived his career for more than a couple of months. The knowledge had shaken him to his core then, and it still did now: that someone had looked at Theron and found him worth risking death for.
Of course it could have been a ruse, but the looks Lana had been giving them said otherwise. She pretended not to see anything and didn't utter even one word of teasing. If Marr and Satele found out about them, it wouldn't be from her.
Saying goodbye had been unexpectedly painful. In truth, Theron had allowed things to continue because he hadn't believed they would live long enough to see the end of it. So, it seemed, had the Commander. Who needs words? they'd whispered, and kissed him, soft and tender, gloved fingers weaving into his hair and pulling him close. Theron had started to speak, to say how sorry he was, and they'd pressed a fingertip to his lips, with a smile so gentle and sorrowful it damn near broke his heart. Message received: don't apologise for the inevitable.
Theron had spent a year denying that it still ate at him, denying that he thought of them every day, denying that the reason he'd stopped joining Jonas for nights out that ended with casual hook-ups had less to do with working hard to re-prove his loyalty and more to do with the fact that a certain Imperial loyalist had claimed Theron's heart and he didn't want a replacement. Hearing about what had happened to Marr's fleet, though, had blasted that denial right out of the sky. Theron had got back in touch with Lana, asking what happened; maybe she'd actually liked him, or maybe she'd just been in shock, but she gave him straight answers instead of telling him where to get off, and then wrapped it up with, They're not dead, Theron. I can feel them, still. I'll be in touch.
Now he knew why the Commander had been pissed enough to force Lana to apologise to him a year earlier. The thought of the Commander imprisoned somewhere while everyone assumed they were dead nearly destroyed Theron. He'd thrown out all the alcohol in his Coruscant apartment so he wouldn't give into the temptation, and the feeling of time being wasted on the comparative minutiae of his actual job scratched and scraped at the back of his brain. Jonas, perceptive bastard that he is, had noticed; he'd suggested burning off Theron's restlessness with a night out and got snapped at for his trouble.
Theron had -- eventually -- apologised for that, but not before Lana had commed him on the secret, massively encrypted frequency he'd devised. Theron had sent his apology to Jonas taped to the only bottle of booze he'd kept, the unopened bottle of Corellian brandy Jonas had given him to celebrate Theron's most recent promotion.
He had no illusions that he'd effectively sunk his fifteen-year career in the SIS when he'd packed up his essentials and bought a shuttle ticket to Nar Shaddaa under a pseudonym, using credits from one of his other pseudonymic accounts. It wasn't like his work mattered anymore, anyway. In the last few months since Zakuul's Eternal Fleet had come out of nowhere and effectively annexed the Republic, their department heads had played at pretending everything was fine and normal, while all signs pointed to the contrary. According to Lana, the Empire was in much the same state.
Theron had long since grown tired of sitting on his hands instead of actually doing something. He never had dealt with periods of inactivity well.
And now… now he sat in a cantina surrounded by people he by rights should never have become friends with, with his arm openly around the shoulders of a certain ex-Imperial whose faith and loyalty had been well and truly shattered. They'd looked terrible when Theron had first seen them upon his arrival at Odessen: too thin, too exhausted, moving like everything hurt.
It hadn't prevented them from hugging him tightly -- right there in front of everyone -- and murmuring, "You're a sight for sore eyes," the same greeting they had offered on Ziost six years earlier. The feelings were still there, stronger than ever, and Theron had accepted the knowledge that this was his life now. Their lives, now.
The Commander was doing better since Valkorion had taken a cryptic leave of absence; better appetite, less prone to waking up in the middle of the night cursing out someone Theron couldn't throw out of the room, able to focus on work without drifting off to glare at the corner of the room every few minutes. Force only knew how much hassle the creepy Sith ghost had been giving them. It was a relief to Theron, as well -- both of them had been uneasy about the idea of the Sith Emperor watching them in the privacy of their quarters.
"What do you plan to do?" Theron found himself asking. "When this is all over and things go back to normal, I mean," he added when everyone at the table looked at him.
The Commander frowned into their drink. "I'm not sure 'normal' is ever going to happen," they answered. “Too much has changed in the galaxy. Everyone has been forced to adjust and adapt."
Theron gestured to the cheerful crowd beyond the relative privacy of their table. "I mean… the Alliance. Are we all going to have to just… go home?"
The Commander looked thoughtful, then glanced at Lana. "In your professional estimation--"
"Hah," Lana snorted, but she was smiling.
"Shush, you. In your estimation, how many friendships and romantic entanglements have occurred since the Alliance established itself?"
"On Odessen?"
"Everywhere we have operations."
The Sith frowned for a moment. "Hundreds. Thousands."
"Mmhmm, and in your estimation, how many of those would be considered cross-faction?"
Theron could see where this was going but he remained quiet -- his specialty was external intelligence; Lana's was internal.
"Roughly two-thirds, if we're considering smugglers, pirates, and bounty hunters their own faction."
The Commander looked back out at the bar. "Infrastructure is nothing without the people who make it tick, and those little alliances mean something. Say we win. Say we beat Valkorion at his own game. Do you really think people will happily give up everything they've built over the last few years and go back to what we were doing before? No. The defection rate would be tremendous. We're all here because the people we wanted to trust in sat back and did nothing, chose to use the opportunity to enrich themselves politically rather than combining their strength and fighting back." They turned their glass on the table, watching the water ring smear. "I'm not going back. I can't. I can't believe in that anymore. And if there are others who also don't want to go back…? Then we'll figure something out together."
Theron looked over at Lana, who met his eyes and shook her head. She couldn't go back, either. "Then maybe we should start thinking about future organisation," she ventured. "I know you don't want to remain in control forever--"
The Commander scoffed and leaned further into Theron's side. "I'm only the Commander because you pushed for it. Our Zakuul allies want me to sit on the Eternal Throne. I can guess why -- they think I'm Valkorion's next incarnation -- and I don't want that. Zakuul can figure its own shit out. But if we settle anywhere else, either the Republic, the Empire, or both will try to annex us. They already dislike the concept of a third power existing in the galaxy, and let's be real: Odessen isn't as secret as we wish it was. We should already be looking for a backup base; we might as well look for something that can be more permanent. I’m not just giving this up. Not again."
They hesitated, and glanced at Theron, something guilty in their eyes. Before they could apologise for making a choice without talking to him first, Theron pressed his temple against theirs. "Wherever we go, you can count on me to be there too."
13 notes · View notes
luci-in-trenchcoats · 5 years ago
Text
Not Stupid
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Summary: After a hunt goes wrong, the reader and Sam are injured and it only gets worse from there...
Pairing: Dean x reader
Square: Episode Re-write (11x17)
Word Count: 2,000ish
Warnings: language, life threatening injury, possible death, referenced drug overdose, 11x17 spoilers
A/N: Written for @spngenrebingo​​
____
“Y/N!” said Dean as you felt a bullet rip through your side. You gasped and dropped to your knees besides Sam who was already pressing his palms to his stomach and sporting a gunshot of his own. Dean left the victims from the attempted werewolf feasting and ran over. You waved him off to Sam as you lifted up your shirt and coat.
“Fuck, this was my favorite jacket too,” you said, feeling the hole through the back.
“You’re a through and through, sweetheart,” said Dean. You hummed and took off your jacket and flannel, wadding the shirt up as you watched Dean shakily tear open a few of the padding packs from the first aid kit in the duffel.
“Dean, put it in the wound, baby. It’ll work better,” you said. “Sam, it’s gonna hurt.”
“Already...fuck!” shouted Sam, his whole body tensing up as Dean winced. 
“You’re okay,” said Dean, tossing a pad in your direction.
“Sam needs-”
“Y/N. Take. It,” said Dean. You grumbled and opened the pad, shoving it against your abdomen on the front side. You tied your flannel tight around it, the back hopefully wadded up enough to soak up the blood there.
You turned back to Sam who Dean was helping get to his feet.
“Y/N. You okay?” asked Dean, half carrying Sam towards the door.
“Yeah,” you said. “Flesh wound. Come on you guys.”
You waved over the man and woman sitting on the step, the woman looking a little worse for wear.
“There’s more werewolves out there,” said Corbin.
“We’ll get out of here. Stick close.”
“He’s slowing us down,” mumbled the man about fifteen minutes later.
“Shut up,” you and Dean snapped back at him. He stared at you and kept walking with his wife. You went to Sam’s side and gave him a smile.
“Doing okay big guy?” you asked.
“Awesome,” he hissed. “You?”
“I’m okay. Just a bad graze,” you said. You caught his arm when he stumbled a bit.
“Come on,” said Dean, nodding to a ranger’s station up ahead. “We’ll stop and rest for a minute.”
Corbin grunted as he helped Michelle inside. They settled into a chair in the corner for a moment as you leaned against the counter in the front.
“How’s it going, Sammy?” asked Dean, walking around the cabin and finding a towel, handing it to Sam. Sam grunted but nodded. “We’re gonna get you fixed up just like that. Don’t you worry about a thing.”
“You guys gotta go,” said Sam, wincing. “I can’t move fast and if he’s right and there’s more out there-”
“I will carry you out of here if I have to,” said Dean.
“I second that,” you said with a smile.
“How about you?” asked Dean.
“I’ve had periods worse,” you joked, glad that it seemed like you’d stopped bleeding at least. You hoped. “It’s okay.” 
“Guys, she needs a doctor,” said Corbin, Michelle resting in the chair.
“Take a number,” said Dean. “Sammy, stay here and rest a minute. We’ll be right back.”
“Where are we going?” you asked.
“To build him a stretcher,” said Dean, grabbing your bloody hand. “You sure you’re okay?”
“Yeah,” you said. “I’m fine.”
“What the fuck happened?” you said, Dean kneeling down over Sam’s body when you ran back not five minutes later after spotting more werewolves.
“He just fell over,” said Corbin. You closed your eyes, Dean standing up slowly. “We need to go, those things-“
“Let ‘em come. I’ll gut them,” said Dean. “You ready for a fight?”
You leaned back against the counter, Dean tilting his head back.
“No, you’re not,” he said. He kicked the counter and squeezed his eyes shut. “Let’s go.”
“Dean-“
“You need a hospital,” he said as he grabbed his bag. “I will take you three out and then I will come back here and I will fix him, understand?”
“I’m-“
“I am not losing both of you on the same goddamn night,” said Dean. You nodded, wanting nothing more than to wrap him up in a hug and tell him it was okay, to pretend to yourself that it was okay. You looked back at Sam, Dean grabbing your hand. “The quicker we go, the quicker we can get him back.”
“Do not sell your soul or I swear I’ll kick your ass, Winchester,” you mumbled. He grabbed your hand and started to head for the door.
“Let’s move it. Now.”
“Almost out,” said Dean as you saw the bushes start to clear ahead. You hummed and had your head resting on his shoulder as you walked. “You lost more blood than you said.”
“I’m tired. I’ll live. You can’t do something stupid, Dean. There’s got to be a better way,” you said.
“I’m going back for him. I’ll get him to Baby and we’ll deal with it then,” he said. 
“No stupid,” you mumbled, tripping a little.
“Fine. No stupid,” he said as he caught you. You had your eyes shut when Dean all of a sudden left your side. You flew them open, Dean waving down a cop car from the looks of it. You watched him talk to the officer before he was heading back towards the woods, the officer grabbing him. You hummed and shut your eyes again, hearing a taser go off before you hit the ground.
“‘Sup,” said Billie when you flew open your eyes. You groaned as you realized you were in a hospital hallway. 
“Y/N? What…” said Dean. 
“I said no stupid!” you said, storming over and ready to give him a piece of your mind. “You…”
You realized there was no reason he should have been able to see Billie at the same time as you, no reason he should have been able to see you unless…
There was some kind of commotion to your right. Turning your head you saw Dean on the floor, a doctor, a cop and Michelle leaned over him.
“What did you do,” you said, glaring at him, whacking his shoulder as your eyes teared up. “What did you do!”
“You and Sammy,” said Dean, swallowing hard. “You’re dying. You’re dying and Sam’s dead and-”
“Actually, he’s not. Trust me, I’d know,” said Billie. Dean shook his head and Billie shrugged. “You two on the other hand are headed there. One of you is going to the empty. So. Who’s it gonna be?”
“You can go straight to-”
Dean suddenly coughed and sucked in a breath, rolling over on the floor, glancing over to where you were standing.
“Looks like it’s gonna be you,” said Billie, looking you up and down.
“Sam’s not dead?” you asked. 
“I’m not lying, Winchester,” she said. She held out a hand. “It’s time. Come with me or when they’re both done for real, I’ll toss them into nothing too.”
“I have no way of knowing you won’t do that anyways,” you said. You took a step back, Billie narrowing her eyes.
“No. You don’t,” she said. You opened your mouth to speak when you heard a loud noise behind you, Dean rushing past you on his phone. There was a scream a short while later and you took the opportunity to follow Dean. “Fine. Stay stuck here. Don’t bother calling when you get sick of it.”
“Leave us alone, Billie,” you said. You ran down a hallway and saw the dead officer, Dean shooting at a very werewolf looking Corbin. He knocked the gun away though and Dean fell back, Corbin ready to lunge. “Back. Off.”
You flew Corbin back towards the other end of the hall, Dean looking around before he went for his gun.
“Thanks, sweetheart,” he said as he got his hands on it again. Corbin rushed again but new shots rang out, Sam panting as he appeared. Corbin hit the deck and you sighed, leaning back against the wall. “Sammy?”
“I could use with a doctor right about now.”
“Is she gonna be okay?” asked Dean after they’d helped clean up everything. 
“She lost a lot of blood and I can guarantee moving her right now will kill her,” said the doctor. You sat on the edge of your bed, your body pale looking. “I know you two need to get out of here but she can’t come with you.”
“Jane Doe. List her as a Jane Doe, not related to this crap with the missing hiker’s at all,” said Dean. “Keep her alive a few hours. I’ll be back.”
“I can’t promise anything,” said the doctor.
“I said no stupid, Dean,” you said, looking over at him. Dean nodded and took off with Sam. You shut your eyes. “No stupid, Dean. You promised.”
“What the hell is this?” asked the doctor when Dean held out a syringe a few hours later.
“Give it to her,” said Dean.
“I’m not giving-”
Dean rolled his eyes and stabbed it into your IV line, the doctor throwing up her hands. You watched from the other side of the bed, your vitals still low on the monitor. 
“Come on, come on, come on,” mumbled Dean. 
All of a sudden you were back in your body, shooting up like a bullet and gasping.
“How the-” said the doctor, pushing Dean out of the way. You lifted up your shirt, your wound gone. “What?”
“I’m interested in knowing what happened as well,” you said. Dean nodded but set a duffel on the end of the bed.
“Change first. I’ll explain on the way home.”
“Dean, what exactly was that?” you asked not ten minutes later. Dean rested his head in his hand as he drove. “I swear-”
“You know I love you, right?”
“Of course I know that.”
“You love me too and you were so fucking...when we met on that hunt back in the fall, I hated you. You saved my life and I hated you,” he said.
“Dean?” you asked.
“I always had this weird feeling. I don’t fall in love with someone like that. Love at first sight isn’t real. It’s not, not even a glimmer of it. But you wormed your fucking way in just like that,” he said. You stared at him as he drove, Dean quiet for a few minutes. “The cure I gave you, I had no idea if it would work or not. I had a suspicion but no idea. Now that it did, I know for sure.”
“Know what?”
“The reason I fell so hard and so fast was because you’re my soulmate,” he said. You blinked and he laughed. “I’m sorry you got the short end of it but it’s true. The cure needed blood from your soulmate and well, it worked so there’s your-”
“I didn’t get the short end of anything,” you said, reaching over and taking his hand. “I promise.”
“Yeah you did.”
“Well suck it up, Winchester cause I’m not changing my mind on this one,” you said. He didn’t speak. He held onto your hand in silence though, stroking his thumb over the back of it. “Sam okay?”
“Yeah. Resting at home,” he said. “He doesn’t know about the whole...overdosing thing.”
“Your secret’s safe with me,” you said. 
“Thanks,” he said. “The story is we just went to get the hikers and you out and I was coming back for him.”
“Alright. One condition though,” you said.
“I know. No more stupid. One day I’ll listen, sweetheart.”
_______
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pixie88 · 4 years ago
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Delilah
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Chapter 1 - Alone - Third A&E Series.
A/N: I originally posted this on a side blog but I was having trouble switching between the two and I also didn’t want to start again. As I said there this A&E series is a lot more darker, hitting RL subjects I have been through myself please don’t judge me as you can’t make me feel an worse than I have made myself in the past. The stigma around these subjects are real and so many people don’t speak out about them. Friends and family don’t even know the secrets I will reveal in these chapters as I am ashamed and worry about what they will think. I hope this helps even just one person realise they aren’t alone. I hope you like it 😘
I’m not going to annoy people with re-tags, so I’m not tagging in these first two chapters as most my usual tags have read it.
Find previous chapters HERE under Together - Adam & Ellie.
Word count: 1905
WARNINGS: ⚠️ Angst & adult language.
Pairings: Adam x Ellie.
Enjoy!
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A Year and a half after the last chapter of A&E Together.
"She's beautiful, Ellie! A girl! We have a little girl," she looks over to him feeding their daughter. All the panic and worry was worth it! She thought to herself as she's getting stitched up.
16 week's earlier.
This pregnancy had been harder on her than Charlie's, her morning sickness had carried on until 24 weeks, she was in pain with her hips and back. Adam made her give up work at 32 weeks. She was reluctant, but knew he was right, plus at home, she could do more research on shops for sale in London.
By the time she had hit 36 weeks she had found the perfect shop, they had a cheeky weekend away in London to view the property while Ellie's mum had Charlie for them. Being heavily pregnant they didn't do much sight seeing, but they did spent a lot of time tangled beneath the sheets in the hotel room. This would probably be the last time in a long time they would have time alone, so they wanted to make the most of it. 
When they arrived back home Ellie had to sort out the internal and external work. She had put in an offer and was in the proceeds of owning the new shop being, so close to the end of her pregnancy Adam took over all the dealings of the new shop not wanting his wife stressed. 40 weeks Ellie woke on her due date irritated and fed up with being pregnant their little lady showed no signs of wanting to come out.
That afternoon Ellie was in the bathroom when she thought her water had broken, looking down at the floor, she was expecting to see clear waters but instead she saw crimson red puddles of blood. She calls out to Adam who was downstairs soon rushed up to his panicked wife. Shock grew on his face as he saw what had her so panicky. He quickly regained his composure, trying not to worry his heavily pregnant wife.
Adam quickly called her midwife who told them to head to the hospital after dropping Charlie at Elaine's door. He helped an hysterical Ellie into the car. On the way her contractions started they were very close together so when they arrived, he practically had to bridal carry her out to the car with her bag to the labour ward where they handed him a wheel chair. Once in the delivery suite and after a few puffs of gas and air Ellie start to calm down she was so mellow that she wasn't even bothered when the doctor took a sample of her blood, she usually hated blood tests but the gas and air had worked its magic.
When the doctor came in Ellie was completely out of it. Between contractions, she was drifting, those few seconds between each one felt like heaven "Sorry, did you say your name is Doctor Curry? I bet you had the korma taken out of you at school!" she laughs at her own joke, then apologizes when she realised what she had said "Don't worry, I know it's the gas and air talking believe me, I've had worse. We are just going to listen to baby and see how they are! OK?" She nods.
After 10 minutes whooshing the doctor and midwife didn't look very happy with the result "What's wrong?" She asked him. He had that look all doctor have when they're about to tell you bad news "You baby's heart beat keeps dipping" tears started forming in her eyes "Dipping? What do you mean?" He hands her a tissue "Mrs Barlow, we want to deliver your baby as safely as possible and with the fluctuations of their heart beat you have an hour to deliver this baby, or we will have to take you down to theatre for an emergency c-section" her heart sank "But how am I going to have a baby in less than an hour? She just said I'm only 3 centimetres" She looks up at Adam, he's calm which soothe her.
"Well, we need to first break your waters, hopefully that should speed things along a bit. So, I'm going to leave Charlotte here to do that and I will be back in half an hour to see how you are doing" DR. Curry makes his way for the door. "Ellie, after your next contraction I'm going try and break your waters. So, I need you to tell me when it's over, OK?" Ellie nods the next contraction comes and goes. Charlotte successful breaks her waters "That feels so warm!" Ellie laughs just as the next contraction starts to build.
"Oh my god! I feel like I need to push!" She screams as the contraction takes hold. "Ellie if you need to push, then push, but little pushes!" Scared her body is tricking her, she refuses "I can't! You said I was only 3 centimetres. I'm not ready!" She hisses at Charlotte "Hey Ellie, listen to me if that's what your body wants to do then do it. I will keep an eye if nothing happens we will stop! OK? You need to trust what your body is telling you to do!"
The next contraction build she begins to push... crashing Adam's hand in the process until it fades again "You're doing brilliant, beautiful" Adam kisses her forehead "Anything?" She asks her midwife "Well, I can see the top of baby's head..." She's cut off by the next contractions "There's the head" Charlotte tells her "With the next contraction she'll be here" another starts and Ellie pushes again "And here she is 7:43PM welcome to the world little one!" Charlotte says as she cleans her up.
"Ellie, you did it again! She's here!" Adam cups her face and kisses her lips "Skin to skin?" Charlotte asks, Ellie nods "I'll just get Daddy to cut the cord" she looks over to Adam and hands him the scissors. He proudly cuts through the cord before Charlotte moves her to Ellie's chest "Does she have a name?" Charlotte looks at both of them "We're still haven't decid..." she cuts Adam off "Delilah!" Ellie looks up at Adam as the brightest smile appears on his face "Aww that's lovely! Where did you get that from?" She asks the pair.
"It was my Nan's name" Adam says not quite believing she finally had a name and a name that means something to him. "That's sweet! Ellie do you want to give Delilah to Daddy while we get this afterbirth delivered?" Charlotte places Delilah in a towel passes her to Adam as DR. Curry walks in "How are we do...oh baby is here! Wow how long did that take?" He looks over to Charlotte "15 minutes after I broke her water. She had the urge to push right away!" He looks at her stunned "Whoa! That's amazing have you requested her IV drip yet?"
Ellie looks confused "IV drip?" He looks over to her "We estimated you probably lost just over a pint of blood. This will just stop anymore bleeding" Charlotte smiles at a worried Ellie "Nothing to worry about its just because you've lost more than usually. It's routine"
"I'll go and get what we need. While you finish up in here" DR. Curry says as he leave the room.
Later, Charlotte has shift had ended and a new midwife had taken over "When can I go for a shower?" Ellie asks her new midwife Demi she wanders over checks the IV drip monitor "You have another 45 minutes on this then you should be OK" another midwife walks in and calls Demi out of the room a few minutes later she comes back in "We are going to have to move you up to postnatal ward now" Ellie looked shocked with Charlie's Labour she was allowed to have a shower before heading up.
Her legs were still covered in blood as well as her hospital gown. She got off the bed with her IV drip and into a wheelchair, Adam close behind with Delilah. She gets into her cubicle and take a seat in the chair after the midwife leave, she bursts into tears Adam puts Delilah down in her cot and rushes over to his wife "Hey, what's up beautiful?"
She looks up at him "Everything I'm covered in blood, I'm still in this awful thing. I want get into bed, but I can't sit on there like this! I want to cuddle my baby, but my arms are cover in blood. I feel dirty like I'm a cast member of the walking dead! And from what it sounds like we have a snorer the other side of this stupid curtain" He lifts up his wife's chin "Watch Delilah I'll be back in a minute" he gets up and leaves the cubicle through the curtain.
10 minutes later he comes back with a wheel chair and a midwife "You help her into the chair and grab her bag I'll grab baby" the midwife tells Adam. Wiping her tears she looks up at him "What's going on?" He smiles at her "You'll see now come on!" He lifts her out of her chair and into the wheel chair. They walk down the hall and through a door. Once inside she spots another bed and a bathroom "Adam?"
She looks up at him "This was the last one they had!" She looks at him still confused, he laughs, "£90 a night for a private room with a bath in the bathroom and this lovely lady has said if you've had over 80 percent of that drip she'll take it off you, so you can go for a soak" her eyes well up and she starts to cry again.
"It suppose to make you happy not sad!" He laughs, "Happy tears!" The midwife smiles at them both as she catches sight of Ellie, she shook her head "Oh dear, look at the state of you! They let you come up here like that! You poor thing, let me put her next to the bed and get you off this. Even if I have to put you back on after you can't sit like that!" She puts Delilah next the bed and takes Ellie off the drip before helping her to the bathroom.
20 minutes later all fresh from her shower, she emerges from the bathroom in her own comfortable clothes. Adam is changing Delilahs nappy. He looks up "Feeling better?" She smiles as she nods at him before she gets onto the bed next him. She places a kiss on his cheek, "Thank you!" He looks over to her "Why are you thanking me? You did all the hard work!" He places Delilah back in her cot "You were calm while I was losing it! I crashed your hand and you spent money on a hospital room just to make me happy!"
He laughs, "I did have my own motives! No one, not even me was going to sleep with a motorbike snoring next door!" he pulls her to his chest and pulls over the blanket over the both of them "We better sleep while she does. So, night beautiful!" She kisses his cheek "Night! I love you!" She feels him chuckle "I love you more"
Continue reading this story here - Chapter 2.
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msmkcreates · 4 years ago
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“so it’s a date?” “nope. not a date” for Slim/Reader? not from any specific fic, i dont think, though what ive read has been *chefs kiss*
I went with Mutt, since I'm not exactly sure what you meant by Slim? And also, this is absolutely not what you had in mind, most likely, so very sorry about that. On the bright side, it sets up for something else and I kinda like that.
Tags/Warnings: Eating Disorders, insults, not much fluff here, fat-phobia (?), reader has body issues and Mutt is an asshole, seriously an asshole
"Re-Hate-tionship" (SF!Papyrus/reader, platonic SF!Sans&Reader)
Was it bad, how much you hated Mutt? Was it wrong of you, as Black's best friend, to so completely despise his shit-talking older brother?
It can't be wrong, you reason, because he hates you just as much. He makes snide remarks at you, about your clothes, your hair, your anything really as long as it's something to pick at. He mocks you when you're trying to be serious, he pulls faces at the back of your head when he thinks you aren't looking, and you're pretty sure you could draw his middle finger from memory.
So, a mutual hate. A re-hate-tionship, if you will. You said that once, and he laughed, and then he looked so upset with himself for at least three days. Black has begged you both to get along, but honestly he's given up at this point--as long as nobody is throwing anything he lets you dance your dance of disapproval.
You'd asked him once, what you ever did to him, and he replied that you were a human of unknown intentions hanging around his brother...and you assumed that your retaliation had lit the flames to you being a bitch, which fed the hate. It isn't like you didn't try to be civil (okay it was rare but sometimes you tried) but it's hard to stay nice when three seconds after entering the house you're being insulted.
Today was no different, of course, you weren't sure what you'd expected when you'd come over for dinner. He hurled his usual insults at you, but this time he somehow hit a sensitive spot.
"why the fuck're we feeding you, too, again? honestly you could probably fit t'skip a meal, flesh-bag."
You stiffened immediately, and Black noticed. His face was full of fury, ready to tell Mutt off, but he didn't say anything when you sharply shook your head.
But it was too late, he'd noticed your lack of response. He didn't make another stab at your weight, at least not right away, but he smirked like he'd won something as you stabbed at your salad, perforating it over and over but ultimately pushing it away.
You weren't very hungry anymore.
It was halfway through the night, the movie still barely ramping up through the action, when he broke from his usual game of begrudging silence to take another crack at you.
"yer movie picker is shit," he said simply.
"It's a classic, everybody likes this movie," you huffed. "At least, anyone who isn't a complete degenerate. Guess I can't expect you to have any sort of taste, not like me and Black."
That earned a snicker from Black, almost a stamp of approval, and Mutt scowled. You only smiled back sweetly.
"i dunno if you can talk 'bout taste, do y'even taste the snacks you shove in yer face? or are y'just hooverin' them down?"
You pressed your lips into a thin line of displeasure, your free hand not holding the popcorn moving to Black's knee, squeezing as you felt him tense beside you. You don't respond, glaring at the TV in front of you, but you do put the popcorn aside, instead crossing your arms and wholly ignoring his presence.
It's fine. It wasn't as if you hadn't been horrible to him on other nights. You insulted him just as much for things he might be sensitive about--his scars, his golden tooth, other appearance based insults you'd be ashamed to repeat to your mother. Maybe if he didn't get a reaction, he'd poke at something else and leave your eating habits alone.
At the very least his little victory kept him in smug silence until the credits rolled.
"PERHAPS WE SHOULD SEND THE LEFTOVERS HOME WITH YOU, MY DEAR," Black said, bundling the last of it into a Tupperware. "DON'T THINK I DIDN'T NOTICE YOUR LACK OF APPETITE TONIGHT."
"M'fine," you said, waving away his thinly veiled concern. "You guys keep it."
"a shocking twist of generosity," Mutt added in a bored tone from the living room.
"I'm sorry, did I ask you? Or in some way imply that I was talking to you at all?" You huffed, glaring at him as Black rolled his eyelights, packing the Tupperware into your bag. "You know, you'd be a lot more fun to be around if you didn't spend every waking moment being an asshole."
"i don't spend every moment being an asshole," he chuckled, leaning over the half-wall that separated the kitchen and the living room. "it's somethin' i can turn off, so if that's my worst trait at least m'pretty."
"Gag me," you spat.
"now there's an image."
"Ew!" You scoffed, turning away from him to look at Black with exasperation.
"it's a date, then?" He laughed.
You looked back at him, horrified. "No, no, not a date, definitely not a fucking date. If you think you're coming anywhere close to my mouth with any filthy fucking part of your body--"
"what, i thought you liked a little sausage?" He practically purred. "y'certainly eat like ya'd suck a mean dick."
"MUTT! THAT IS ENOUGH!" Black said swiftly, but the damage was done.
It seemed he had found his new Favorite Thing to poke at about you. The unbothered look on his face as Black raised his voice at him was enough to make that blindingly clear, and you set your jaw, fists clenching as you glared at him.
"I eat like everybody else!" You said finally, hands shaking in your rage. "I'm not fat!"
"OF COURSE, HE DIDN'T MEAN IT THAT WAY--" Black tried, and you shook his hand off your arm.
"He did mean it that way!" You flipped Mutt off, with gusto. "Fuck you, and that isn't an invitation."
With that, you took off, storming out and onto the terrace. You would have left completely but your stuff wasn't all together yet and you didn't fancy coming back for it in twenty minutes. You slammed the sliding glass door as good as you could and dragged a deck chair to the edge of the balcony, plopping down and leaning on your crossed arms, staring down into the trees and foliage behind the building.
You could hear Black blowing up on Mutt inside, though the soundproofing was good enough that you couldn't hear exactly what he was saying, only the tone of it. He knows all about your history with your eating disorder, you'd broken down and cried to him after he'd asked you one too many times if you'd gotten enough to eat.
You understand that underground, resources were scarce, and that's why he always makes sure you've eaten enough. He's been good about his wording since then, carefully asking if you have everything you need, with heavy implications that he means food. It's worked thus far, and sending leftovers home was kind of his way of saying he loved you.
You assume, then, as you calmed down a bit, that Mutt really meant no offense when he said you eat well. It was probably a compliment, even, as veiled as it was. And it wasn't like you'd ever opened up to him about your strained relationship with food and your weight. He probably thought it was funny that a small compliment made you clam up in a way his insults never had.
The door slid open behind you and you sighed, closing your eyes. "It's fine, Black, I'll get over it."
"good, here i thought i'd hafta apologize."
You huffed and turned a glare on Mutt as he closed the door behind him. That was not your best friend as you had expected. "What, did he make you come out here to say sorry? Well, you can save it, I don't take insincere apologies."
"actually, he told me he's fed up with how i treat you and that he didn't want to see me within a mile of ya again." Mutt pulled up the second terrace chair and took a seat. "but i don't think i can do that."
"What, come to make fun of me, then?" You hissed, leaning back and glaring over at him. "Maybe call me names? Make pig noises?"
"i wouldn't do that," he said, seriously. "i pick my words pretty carefully, you know, if i'd'a known you had a thing about food i woulda picked 'em even more carefully."
"Since when do you give a shit about my feelings?"
"always," he said, and you snorted, disbelieving. "we may not get along, but yer important t'sans, that makes you important t'me. an' you ain't nothin' but beautiful, so i guess i didn't think that you'd take it as me callin' you fat."
"First you insult me, and now you lie to me." You stood up, and he looked right up at you as you loomed over him the best you could. "Anything else? Maybe poke fun at my dead mom, or fake-ask-me-out?"
"why would anyone fake asking someone out?" He asked, genuinely surprised. "i'm a mean bitch at heart, so is sans, but we'd never do that."
You huffed. "Well then congrats, you're better than the kids I went to school with. Barely."
He hummed thoughtful and you were about to turn and leave him behind--
"wanna fuck?"
Slowly, you turned around, looking at him in disbelief. "I'm sorry?"
"i said," he stood, crowding you against the balcony fencing, his hands on either side of you. "wanna fuck? you an' i might not get along, but you're fine as fuck, i'm not so bad, and i gotta bed we can work out our aggressions on. so, wanna fuck?"
You inhaled, hands on his chest and ready to push him away...but you're due for some stress relief and if anything you can trust him not to get attached, and despite being the opposite of friends you trust he'd never do anything to hurt you, if only for his brother's sake.
"You know what?" You breathed, straightening your posture. Your hands went from pushing to gripping his shirt. "Yeah. Let's fuck. You've had worse ideas."
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doomedandstoned · 3 years ago
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Planet of the Dead Return to the Stars as ‘Pilgrims’
~Doomed & Stoned Debuts~
By Billy Goate
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Album Art by Jonathan Guzi
Every other day there's a story that calls our eyes heavenward to wonder about new planets discovered in nearby solar systems, terraforming Mars, or exploring the smallest elements in the universe. Anywhere has to be better than here, any time better than here right now. At least that's what a lot of people are feeling. How about the power of music to elevate us into vast dimensions of the imagination. One band out of New Zealand is interested in finding out what limits one can breach when the driving power of doom rock is hotwired with adventurous sci-fi/fantasy storytelling.
I speak, of course, of Wellington quartet PLANET OF THE DEAD Last year, Mark Mundell (vox), Malcolm McKenzie (guitar), Kees Hengst (bass), and Josh Hussey (drums) brought us the impressive first introduction to their soundscape and narrative concept, which elicited no small amount of praise for 'Fear of a Dead Planet' (2020), including the enthusiastic Bandcamper who gushed, "Some of the best jams I've heard in this universe!" Listen to fan favorites "The Eternal Void" or "Mind Killer" and you'll discover why there's excitement around this band's future.
But Planet of the Dead wasn't done yet. As many of us have already experienced, unexpected and elongated times of forced aloneness do crazy things to the creative mind. For one, it frustrates, as you cannot express the present songs you feel so strongly about to live crowds filled with spontaneous drifters. The moods usually shift out of sheer exasperated boredom, leading to the insatiable urge to begin tinkering again. 'Pilgrim' (2021) comes at us like an explosion with stories to tell and songs to wail. It's purpose-driven interdimensional doom we're talking about here. This may have been the impetus behind the second album’s creation, so closely after the birth of their first (incidentally, both records feature exactly eight songs a piece).
"Gom Jabbar" is the first creature we chance upon in this otherworldly dimension. He speaks with synth-enhanced vocals (ever so slightly) that's practically like an alien encounter if you listen to it high (gosh, sorry. I've gotta stop leaking album reviewer secrets like that). A defiant second voice joins the dialogue, sounding for all the world like Goliath, Hercules, or Hulkian figure.
"Pilgrim" stirs up grey and purple auras as this groovy sandcrawler glides across dunes and high above deserts, searching for the most fitting place to (re)build the world they once knew, perhaps even dare to dream beyond it. I'm assuming they're a scientific voyage on the run from a restrictive government in a week's long mini series I should have pitched to NBC 20 years ago for big bucks. The song allows your imagination drift on its own recognisance, before the closing words call us back to the shadows.
A dire feeling blankets the air throughout "Nostromo," a stomping little number that's straight-up doom rock, with a cool streetwalking kind of stride. It's impossible to not to think of previous adventures aboard vessels christened Nostromo, but each are mysterious encounters with the unknown, some of which yield new insights into our humanity by taking us back through some strange luck of heavy metal time travel to experience pivotal moments in astral history.
"The Sprawl" may be one of the most dismal legs of this journey, but in an exotic acid-soaked kind of way that makes you question your reality (and your own sanity) before the trip is done. The song is good about building various layers of joy and tension, then meshing them together for some distorted, fuzzy, electric, sparkin' Frankensteinian experience. Where will the spiral take us next? Confident lead gets a riff-enhanced jolt, staging march-like-groove that eventually turns meditative, psychedelic, and ethereal. And that's just the first side of the record! Go ahead, flip it over. You can't stop this far-invested in the trip. Shhh. Listen. Grungy, rumbling energy, extraterrestrial harmonics, and gnarly acid-touched solos are just ahead.
"Escape from Smith's Grove" jars the senses with the unexpected tonal shift from clarinets into a seismic pattern of eruptions that match our stomping feet. This is, after all, a jailbreak of sorts.
"Directive IV" takes the perspective of an enforcement officer who is just doing his job. Mark Mundell's vocal stylings are on-point. For me they compare to the pipes of the late-great Wayne Static, the spastic, growling frontman of Static X. Others may see more similarity with the "common man" grit of Scott Angelacos from Hollow Leg and Junior Bruce. Or even Kirk Windstein's apocalyptic spitfire with Crowbar.
The song appears to be a struggle of conscience between compassion and machine-like order, a tug-of-war that after several epic call and response segments in which our protagonist is put on trial by his peers. The tight grip of fascistic space goons gradually loosens their grip in the song's final minutes, as a street-worn riff storm carries our rebels far away from the grasp of whatever the fucks. That means our (now treasonous) soldier has a second chance at life in the (are you ready for this?) the unknown wilds of...
..."The Cursed Earth." This is a perfect song for that moment in a show when the alcohol or "legal tobacco" has sufficiently unlocked your third eye with stellar riffs and choruses (this song has several "ah-ha" moments). The vocals are obscured here and are sometimes backed up by other singers to emphasize a specific point in the lyrical narrative. The final moments again are slowed down with impactful tonal moments that make you think you're on the edge spying some strange meeting of warrior souls.
Things are not what they seem They never are
"The Great Wave" pulls you right into its hypnotic sway, interjected with extraterrestrial strains of thought communicated as if by a very blasted HAL 9000, our onboard computer. It's downright creepy when it hits you. Then again, maybe that's what we want from an intrepid album such as Pilgrim, to rope us into a fascinating narrative and invite us to return to sort out the details, several spins down the road. Now that I think of it, maybe these songs are all references pinned to great Alien, Robocop, and Judge Dredd moments? Listen closely to "Nostromo" and "Directive IV" and wonder. A good album should do that to a person, draw you into its storytelling and musical colour. It has me listening to it immediately from beginning to end, then end to beginning. If you wanna give it a shot, Planet of the Dead's monsterpiece will definitely reward your back-to-back listens.
Look for Pilgrims to come to life on July 23rd, with a fantastic spread of options on vinyl and CD (pre-order here). In the meanwhile, Planet of the Dead are letting us join the party leading up to the big drop right here at Doomed & Stoned HQ, where you can hear each track in full. Don't miss crucial insight from the band itself in 'Some Buzz' to follow. Then join in sharing your thoughts and theories (stoned or otherwise) on this transcendental New Zealand metal album in the comments below!
Give ear...
LISTEN: Planet of the Dead - Pilgrim
SOME BUZZ
Just little over a year following the release of their auspicious debut album, 'Fear of a Dead Planet' (2020), which attained more than 35,000 views on YouTube, New Zealand cosmic stoner and doom four-piece band Planet of the Dead are back with a new full-length album titled 'Pilgrims' (2021).
Hurtling towards the forever yawning void within their busted-up space freighter, they draw inspiration from classic science fiction and horror, and push supermassive and megalithic riffs to the outer limits.
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"Our second album came together around the titular track 'Pilgrim', which is based on the book 'Slaughterhouse 5' by Kurt Vonnegut. Musically, it plays upon the themes of moments trapped in the amber." So says the band about this new album.
"Our basic concept is heavy music played heavy, and we try to keep it simple. There are recurrent themes in our riffs which gives the album a sense of coherence, but we've experimented with some new sounds in the latest album which we feel results in a greater sense of dynamism.
"Lyrically, we dug deeper into our obsessions with classic sci-fi and horror. There is a distinctive and undeniable fan-fiction element to our work. We actively seek out cultural references, and weave them into our tapestries. Ultimately, we do everything we do for the great god Dyzan, for his greater glory...and for our mutual pleasure.”
Set for release on July 23rd, 'Pilgrims' will surely cement Planet of the Dead’s reputation as serious riff merchants.
Follow The Band
Get Their Music
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asimawv · 4 years ago
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I write and conceptualize story to music, so I’ve compiled a playlist of 30 Darkest Dungeon-specific songs that I listen to when writing (and subsequently re-writing) in no particular order, which I hope will help you set the vibe too. :+)
Names in bold are links for easy listening - tons of Hozier and Of Monsters and Men up ahead, five minute warning.
1. ‘Fire and the Flood’ - Vance Joy
If you listen to nothing else on this list, listen to this one - it’s the kind of song that’s made for movies about yearning. Folk influences, choruses of trumpets and vocal harmony, and instruments that are layered for a rich, resonant sound. This is the song I imagine Dismas and Reynauld horse-racing through a crowded outdoors market in the hamlet to, and the song I listened to nonstop freshman year when I first started writing The Myth of Sisyphus.
You're the fire and the flood And I'll always feel you in my blood Everything is fine When your hand is resting next to mine Next to mine You're the fire and the flood
The chorus is built around biblical allusions to the fire (the burning bush signifying first contact) and the flood (destruction of the first world), the beginning and end. Every line is similarly evocative of Darkest Dungeon in their simplicity (“I’ve been getting used to waking up with you,” etc.)
2. ‘Soldier, Poet, King’ - The Oh Hellos
By the title alone you can guess who this is for. Even the Guild quote for the Leper approaches these three things as the defining parts of his character (specifically it’s “a ruined man, a warrior, and a poet.”) This song coincidentally has an old world influence to it, with a Medieval Renaissance style from a guitar playing a lute-adjacent melody.
There will come a ruler Whose brow is laid in thorn Smeared with oil like David's boy, oh lei oh lai oh Lord Oh lei, oh lai, oh lei, oh Lord Smeared with oil like David's boy, oh lei oh lai oh Lord
To be smeared with oil is to be anointed by a prophet and thus chosen by god himself to be king, just as David was and his boy after him (presumably Solomon). There’s something strangely wistful about the imagery, which is just how I like my songs about bygone kings.
3. ‘Exit Hymn’ - Bear Attack!
This song is about the end of the world in a version where everyone simply stands together in silence watching, rather than having the masses swarming in panic.
Lovely shapes to the world descending, Brothers and sisters. Lovely shapes to the world descending, Brothers and sisters Mute.
It defies Lovecraftian horror, which is based on the premise that “common human laws and interests and emotions have no validity or significance in the vast cosmos-at-large” - it flies in the face of existential nihilism and the despair that it should bring us. That’s why I like this song for deaths in the end-boss fight; it also has a special place for other death-related ideas, like full-party wipes - entire teams of people vanishing into the dungeons, gone insane, holding hands while the darkness surrounds them.
It’s a bare song which has a sanctity to it, mostly just piano and rain and human voices. Just what you would hear at the end of the world.
More under the cut:
4. ‘Pursuit of Glory’ - Jhameel
This song is laid-back. It doesn’t have the Homeric intensity that some of the other songs here do - it’s a guy with a guitar and vocal harmony. By god is it a great piece of writing though (all of Jhameel’s older songs have that quality to them), and all of it is evocative of Darkest Dungeon.
So many eyes set on the path to glory Too many ties, friendship is for the lonely Can't still my heart, my tongue has tasted folly Thirsty for art, hungry for power and money
This is a song for everyone in the barracks, especially the ‘laundry list’ of people and their approaches to the pursuit of glory.
5. ‘Good Old Days’ - Macklemore (feat. Kesha)
This fucker put a Macklemore song in here. I did, yeah. It’s not even the only song with Kesha in it here (I’m sorry.) 
It’s a sentimental pop song, and I am sentimental to a fault. This is Darkest Dungeon AMV material, and I always mishear one of the lines as “we were underground, loaded mercs in that 12-passenger van” so it’s here.
We've come so far, I guess I'm proud And I ain't worried about the wrinkles around my smile I've got some scars, I've been around I've felt some pain, I've seen some things, but I'm here now Those good old days
6. ‘Past Lives‘ - Kesha
Here it is, the other Kesha song - this was introduced to me by a good friend, also in a Darkest Dungeon context. There’s just something about the lovers spanning time trope and finding each other in one life to the next that is irresistible (for the obvious reason in the context of Darkest Dungeon.) It’s a soft song, totally out of place in Kesha’s typical discography, and has a line about losing someone to the crusades, so... you know.
There's just somethin' about you I know Started centuries ago though You see your kiss is like a lost ghost Only I would know But I, I keep on falling for you Time after time Time after time
7. ‘Viva la Vida’ - Coldplay
You cannot fight this. You know that this is the song for King Baldwin IV of Jerusalem, you know it is. Did you know the official name of this genre of music is “Baroque pop”? Yes, that means more songs like this exist. You will live with this information now.
Don’t fight it. Just let it wash over you.
I hear Jerusalem bells are ringing Roman Cavalry choirs are singing Be my mirror, my sword and shield My missionaries in a foreign field For some reason I can't explain Once you go there was never, never an honest word And that was when I ruled the world
Mirror, sword, and shield, the three other members of his party, his missionaries in a foreign field. Thinking emoji. I typed that out so I wouldn’t have a repeat of the crab emoji incident.
8. ‘The Boxer’ - Jerry Douglas (feat. Mumford & Sons, Paul Simon)
Partly inspired by the Bible, Simon & Garfunkle’s ‘The Boxer’ is a folk rock song about poverty, loneliness, and homesickness. It’s written and sung in a style that’s strongly reminiscent of older times, and the final verse about its eponymous boxer is particularly powerful:
In the clearing stands a boxer And a fighter by his trade And he carries the reminders Of ev'ry glove that laid him down Or cut him till he cried out In his anger and his shame "I am leaving, I am leaving" But the fighter still remains
This is what I use for Dismas’ life leading into organized crime and his foolish abandonment of stable job prospects in a half-baked bid for fame, as well as being punched down over and over again but with nowhere else to go. That last part is widely applicable across the cast.
9. ‘I Will Wait’ - Mumford & Sons
I am but a simple man. I see 'folk rock' and add it to my Darkest Dungeon playlist. This song I use for Reynauld - it has that sort of “salt of the earth,” somewhat biblical humility in its choice of words and style. 
Raise my hands Paint my spirit gold And bow my head Keep my heart slow
10. ‘Little Lion Man’ - Mumford & Sons
Have we not beaten this song to death yet? Can you blame us? This is the people’s song. We reserve it for all of our favorite fuck-up characters, as primal as Saturn devouring his son. We love this song. Jesus.
Tremble for yourself, my man, You know that you have seen this all before Tremble little lion man, You'll never settle any of your scores Your grace is wasted in your face, Your boldness stands alone among the wreck Now learn from your mother or else spend your days biting your own neck
The line about learning from your mother in particular is why I think of this song for Dismas’ introspection, but I also associate it with the Hellion.
11. ’From Eden’ - Hozier
There’s too much Hozier in my playlists. There is so much of it, and it’s all important to me, says the hoarder. There’s something about profoundly intimate folk music that I love, and god put folk, R&B, blues, and alt rock into a Vitamix for 45 seconds to make Hozier.
Honey you're familiar like my mirror years ago Idealism sits in prison, chivalry fell on its sword Innocence died screaming, honey ask me I should know I slithered here from Eden just to sit outside your door
‘From Eden’ is, according to Hozier, about idolizing someone from a distance, written from the perspective of the devil “looking longingly at something he desires - for everything that he does not have.” I associate this song with the Grave Robber for its playfully nihilistic tone - Audrey does say something to the effect of being left for dead by high society and the affectionate bordering condescending address is on-brand.
12. ‘Cherry Wine’ - Hozier
‘Cherry Wine’ is unabashedly about domestic violence, and its sincerity is heartbreaking, the sanctification of the blood spilled in the name of keeping her.
The way she tells me I'm hers and she is mine Open hand or closed fist would be fine The blood is rare and sweet as cherry wine.
This song is strongly tied to the Vestal for me.
13. ‘Work Song’ - Hozier
A song about unconditional love - heaven and hell were just words, indeed.
When my time comes around Lay me gently in the cold dark earth No grave can hold my body down I'll crawl home to her
I think of this song for both Dismas and the Abomination - it’s a song about love transcending spiritual and even physical need, complete devotion, but something about it is also not quite right. It’s morbid and excessive, self-pitying, and almost ugly in its sincerity.
14. ‘Sunlight’ - Hozier
The strong gospel influence with the choruses, church organ, religious fervor - I think it makes a great song for traveling scenes and church/altar scenes.
I had been lost to you, sunlight Flew like a moth to you, sunlight oh sunlight Oh, your love is sunlight Oh, your love is sunlight (sunlight, sunlight) But it is sunlight
15. ‘Arsonist’s Lullabye’ - Hozier
The gospel this time is paired with electric rock instrumentation. Something about the lamentation is unapologetic and matter-of-fact in its disturbing inclinations - this is Paracelsus’ song. Arguably representative of Bounty Hunter and Flagellant as well.
Now that I think about it, it’s great for Abomination as well. Damn.
All you have is your fire And the place you need to reach Don't you ever tame your demons But always keep 'em on a leash
16. ‘We Sink’ - Of Monsters and Men
Of Monsters and Men are closer to the indie rock/pop spectrum with influences of folk, with much less biblical influence and more folklore-inspired lyrics. They make for great trailer and action songs.
We are the sleepers, we bite our tongues We set the fire and we let it burn Through the dreamers, we hear the hum They say come on, come on, let's go So come on, come on, let's go
In Lovecraft’s Cthulu mythos, dreams are how the Old Ones commune with humans on the earth’s surface while they slumber in the ocean depths (Cthulhu fhtagn meaning “Cthulhu is dreaming”); I like to think of the ‘sleepers’ as the heroes being tasked to “set the fire” and the ‘dreamers’ being the Heir and Ancestor driven by some unseen force to unearth the antediluvian underground.
17. ‘I Of The Storm’ - Of Monsters and Men
Very somber song, overwhelmingly piano and snare drum and vocals. Also a great death scene song, or for introspection around the campfire, or played to reveal a major event.
If I could face them If I could make amends With all my shadows I'd bow my head And welcome them
18. ‘King and Lionheart’ - Of Monsters and Men
My favorite OMAM song - it’s clearly written about two children, kind of reminiscent of ‘Where the Wild Things Are’ in its fantastical nature, and very upbeat about the end of the world.
His crown lit up the way as we moved slowly Pass the wondering eyes of the ones that were left behind Though far away, though far away, though far away We're still the same, we're still the same, we're still the same
This part is reminiscent of the Leper’s journey, but the mentions of taking over a town, howling ghosts, the end of the world, a black sea and creatures lurking below, etc. are all evocative of Darkest Dungeon.
19. ‘Little Talks’ - Of Monsters and Men
Also very upbeat for its subject matter - according to OMAM, it’s a narrative of a woman speaking with the ghost of her dead husband, or going insane and believing that she’s speaking with her dead husband.
Some days I don't know if I am wrong or right Your mind is playing tricks on you, my dear 'Cause though the truth may vary This ship will carry our bodies safe to shore
The call-and-respond style of the song is haunting. I like this song for expeditions and afflicted heroes.
20. ‘Wolves Without Teeth’ - Of Monsters and Men
Suitable for both Occultist and Abomination, being consumed by an unseen and otherworldly force that inhabits them - well, maybe just rarely seen, in the Abomination’s case. Special mention to OMAM’s ‘Human,’ same conceptual backing but more raw.
You hover like a hummingbird Haunt me in my sleep You're sailing from another world Sinking in my sea, oh You're feeding on my energy I'm letting go of it He wants it
21. ‘Desierto’ (Original Motion Picture Score) - Woodkid
This is a full album, because all of it is dark orchestral cinema music described as ‘unsettling,’ with the sole exception of ‘Land of All,’ which has vocals to it. I reserve this album for writing fight scenes and for particularly unsettling events because it’s tense and wordless. I read Junji Ito to this soundtrack too, it’s insanely high-strung and discordant.
22. ‘Iron’ - Woodkid
‘Iron’ qualifies as Baroque pop - you might recognize this as the Assassin’s Creed: Revelations song. The large-scale, cinematic style of it and thematic lyrics make it great for writing about dramatic encounters or brigands.
This deadly burst of snow is burning my hands I'm frozen to the bones, I am A million miles from home, I'm walking away I can't recall your eyes, your face
23. ‘Never Let You Down’ - Woodkid (feat. LYKKE LI)
Another somber song, orchestral with some industrial noise in the mix - another great introspection song, or one for a scene with some hard decisions to be made.
Will you come along cause I'm about to leave this town In my eyes, a waterfall, all I can hear, a siren call Could you be waiting by the shore, oh I could drown without you Will you be holding out the line when I fall?
24. ‘Run Boy Run’ - Woodkid
Church bells, fast percussion, strong orchestral presence. For chase scenes, obviously, but great for fast-paced sneaking scenes as well. Also has a strong quasi-Medieval fantasy setting style to it.
Tomorrow is another day And you won't have to hide away You'll be a man, boy! But for now it's time to run, it's time to run!
25. ‘I Love You’ - Woodkid
Don’t let the scream effects and aggressive percussion at the beginning deter you (it kind of took me by surprise the first few times too) - it soon fades into more of the church bells and melodic string accompaniment.
Oh yeah, unrequited love song? It’s free (mental) real estate, baby.
Is there anything I could do Just to get some attention from you? In the waves, I've lost every trace of you Where are you?
26. ‘Vagabonds’ - Grizfolk
A rare departure from folk! Grizfolk is alt rock/indie pop. Stylistically it doesn’t match the feeling of Darkest Dungeon, but lyrically it’s almost 1:1 to arrival in the hamlet and the subsequent expeditions. Good song for writing about recruits bonding.
Oh this careless ground, guessing this is home now Oh in no man's land, at least we're still standing And we're all just fighting, some of us will not return And there's no redemption in trying to find your way out
27. ‘Everybody Wants To Rule The World’ - Lorde
Great trailer fuel, if you’ve seen the AC: Unity E3 trailer with this song - I listen to an extended version when writing fights in the Guild, especially one where two heroes are beefing. It’s got a primal kind of thing going on. I also associate this song with the Arbalest - lyrically, it fits her backstory like a glove.
Welcome to your life There's no turning back Even while we sleep We will find you
Acting on your best behavior Turn your back on mother nature
28. ‘Torches’ - X Ambassadors
More alt rock/indie pop - kind of a rallying song for dark expeditions, hopeful but still somber in nature - some gospel elements. X Ambassadors’ more popular ‘Renegades’ is also a fun tavern song.
Come on, carry your flame Carry it higher Leave it in the darkness Carry your torches
29. ‘Passing Afternoon’ - Iron & Wine
This is a song I use for reconciliation or domestic scenes - Dismas with Junia in the garden, for example. It’s soft and kind of meandering, and features vintage piano - you know, the piano you heard in the basement of your church turned community center as a child.
There are times that walk from you like some passing afternoon Summer warmed the open window of her honeymoon And she chose a yard to burn but the ground remembers her Wooden spoons, her children stir her Bougainvillea blooms
30. ‘Some Nights’ - Fun.
You know this song, your mom knows this song, everyone knows this song from like, middle school. Thought it’d be fun to end this list on an uplifting and very popular song. This is the song that a Disney adaptation of Darkest Dungeon would use in the Training Montage™ - from the point of view of Reynauld. It hits all of the points - being their commander rather than their equal, his stern and antisocial zealotry with no true ideology behind it, the ghost of his wife.
Verse 2, starting with “Well, that is it, guys, that is all / Five minutes in and I'm bored again” is where I see it transitioning to Dismas.
Well, some nights, I wish that this all would end 'Cause I could use some friends for a change And some nights, I'm scared you'll forget me again Some nights, I always win (I always win) But I still wake up, I still see your ghost Oh Lord, I'm still not sure what I stand for, oh What do I stand for? What do I stand for? Most nights, I don't know
_____
Well that’s all from me! Feel free to leave your own recommendations in the replies, and I’d love to know what you think about my personal picks. :+)
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shhh-no-ones-home · 4 years ago
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tattooed on my heart steven adler x reader
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havent done an actual imagine in a while so heres a super soft/cute one
imagine: steven dating an alternative/goth girl. hes a v soft boy and everyone is super confused how that works but he is absolutely smitten with her and her style.
song: fingers crossed by coin
tag list: @cynic-spirit @satans-arse
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"hey, ill be right back."
i said standing off the couch and kissing steven gently.
"okay."
he said not wanting to let my hand go. we had been invited to a party and i was definitely feeling out of place. with their rock star life style i had anticipated more leather and chains but it seemed like duff and i were the only ones participating in the trend. even axl chose to wear jeans. i didnt really mind though, i was used to being stared at and thats exactly what happened as i made my way to the bathroom. every wall was lined with people lingering around each other and most of them were gawking at me, a few of them reaching out and grazing their fingers against the chains hanging off my leather jacket.
when i reached the bathroom i sighed in relief, closing the door and looking at my tired eyes in the mirror. the black around them was smudged and smeared down my face from the long night of partying but it kind of went with the 'dont fuck with me' look. not that the teased up Mohawk didnt do that or anything but still. i laughed at the thought of myself standing next to steven, the complete opposite of myself in every way. he was such a ray of sunshine and happiness; i was practically dating a golden retriever. i knew he loved me though, i fascinated him, or at least thats what he told me.
i tip toed up a bit to see my legs in the mirror above the sink, looking at the two week old tattoo sitting just below the hem of my dress. the velvet felt nice on the healing skin but i needed to wash it again. thats the one thing i hated about new tattoos but the outcome was always worth it. i dropped back to flat feet before propping my leg up on the sink and washing my leg off, some of the dead skin falling away in bits of black and pink. i heard a knock at the door just as i was drying my thigh off, queuing me to leave. when i walked back into the living room of the house steven was still sat on the couch talking awkwardly with a way-to-interested female. she was cute if i was being honest, herpale blue blouse made her look nice in contrast to the other more bold women at the party.
"hey baby."
he said relieved, noticing me and holding his hand out for me to take.
"sorry, my leg was starting to itch."
he nodded.
"sarah this is my girlfriend y/n."
he said, smiling widely at me and helping me into his lap to sit, now that the couch was full. she laughed a little bit as he slid my dress up a bit to inspect my tattoo, he absolutely loved it. hes the one who helped me pick the placement and all that too, saying my thighs were his favorite part of my body so why not add more art to the art that was already there. it did take up the majority of the space after all.
"youre joking, right?"
she asked as i draped my arm around his shoulders.
"hes absolutely not."
i said looking down at him endearingly. he smiled back up at me with the widest smile, rubbing his thumb lightly into the inside of my thigh, being careful not to push into the tattoo.
"how the hell do you date someone like that?!"
she asked, eyes wide. slash , sitting behind the woman and talking to someone else, leaned over and tipped his glass towards me. he knew exactly what i was thinking.
"we ask ourselves the same question at least three times a day darling."
he said amused. she looked over at him as i laughed, stevie looking a little confused by what he meant. slash turned back around, her gaze falling to the floor a little expressionless and shocked to say the least.
"what do you like about her? youre so normal in comparison."
she pointed out, a bit shell shocked. when i looked from her back to him he was already staring at me, a small smile on his lips.
"whats not to like?"
he asked, wrapping his arms around my waist, petting his thumb into the velvet of my short dress.
"just look at her, its like dating a walking art museum. plus shes the most interesting and unique person ive ever met."
he said generally, still keeping eye contact with me. i couldnt help the blush creeping its way to my face.
"i love everything about you, from the way you make your coffee in the morning to the way you stay up with me at night to make fun of those stupid late show hosts. and not to mention how you make me feel, like i belong in every every part of your life. hell you even let me pick where your new tattoo went, how many people would do that? and now as an added bonus i get to look at my favorite thing on your body all decorated."
i leaned down and kissed him gently. when i pulled away he looked over at her, a lazy smile playing on his lips.
"not to mention she is much more interesting to look at without her clothes."
i laughed nervously and hit him square in the chest with my hand.
"steven!"
i scolded and he just squeezed me tighter to him.
"look babe, i love the outfits but you cant tell me you dont look stunning naked, decorated in ink and design."
he awed and i kissed him again.
"i love you stevie."
i said admiringly, feeling the couch shift.
"if youll excuse me i need to go re-assess my approach to getting guys to like me."
i laughed a little bit, catching her hand before she was gone.
"hey, dont change for any guy. if they truly love you then you wont need to. i know i didnt. mohwak and all."
she finally smiled back at me and nodded knowingly.
"thanks."
i let go of her and she walked off into the kitchen. i turned back to steve, holding his head in my hand and running my thumb over his cheek bone. he seemed absolutely in love with me and i couldnt help but melt. he was the best thing that had ever happened to me, crazy life style included.
"is it lame to ask for another kiss?"
he said softly, looking between my eyes. i shook my head no.
"of course not."
i said, leaning down and kissing him gently. he hummed into it and i sighed at the sensation. when i pulled away i rested my forehead on his, eyes closed.
"i love you baby."
i said softly. he kissed me again, smiling into it.
"i love you too."
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therainroguefanfiction · 4 years ago
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🎃 Frightful October Act IV, #11 ~ Jealousy (Cory Hong)
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📑 Table of Contents
Genre: Supernatural, Romance, Vampire AU
Word Count: 3,227
Pairing: Reader x Cory
World: 24K
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When you first met Cory, he was a member of the group 24K. You had met the group through mutual friends and instantly hit it off with the group’s leader. Pretty soon, you and Cory became inseparable – every bit of spare time he had was spent with you. 
He was your best friend and you were his, but life seemed determined to keep the two of you apart. Every time you made plans to hang out, something came up at the last minute and the outing had to be canceled. It got to the point where you weren’t able to see each other at all. You were busy with college and work, while Cory was working his ass off trying to make it big.
A month passed. Two. Three.
You could feel yourself growing apart from him and it scared you. While you had many acquaintances in your life, you only had a handful of friends but none of them bore the same weight in your heart as Cory did. What if you never saw him again? What if he forgot about you?
You frowned at the thought and quickly shook your head. He was a busy man that barely got time for himself, must less for anyone else. You were thankful for whatever time he could spare you, no matter how little that ended up being.
That was enough for you… right?
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A year had passed since you last saw Cory. Your brother had gotten into a car accident and needed to be looked after, so you left South Korea, returning to your home state of Oregon to care for him. It had broken your heart to say goodbye to Cory, but nothing could be done about it. You briefly wondered if the universe really did have something against your friendship.
Autumn had finally rolled around and you couldn’t be happier. It was your favorite time of year, after all. A Halloween superstore had just opened up down the street from your college and you wasted no time in applying there. You got a callback that same day – you were hired to work the closing shift, from six in the afternoon until close at midnight. 
There were a couple others that had been hired for the same shift, and they were not happy about you. You were, though. Ever since you had been a kid, you’ve always found solace in the night time. It was peaceful and quiet, and more importantly, lacked the number of people you would typically find during the day.
Between work and school, you didn’t have much free time. Although there were others that had been scheduled to work the closing shift throughout the week, they up and quit without warning, leaving your boss understaffed. You offered to take over their hours, which he happily agreed.
Getting to work in a store surrounded by Halloween decorations, props, and costumes during the night time when very few people messed with you… it was like a childhood dream come true!
The bell above the door dinged as it was pulled open and you smiled brightly. “Welcome! Oh, hello, Fried.”
Fried smiled a charming smile, brushing strands of his navy blue hair away from his face. As usual, his long hair was loosely braided, resting on his right shoulder. The bright red ribbon on the end stuck out against his dark clothes. “A fine night to you, Y/N.”
Fried was a regular. He had been visiting the store every night without fail since the day it opened, always appearing around ten-thirty. He never actually bought anything, just browsed the products and made small talk with you. It creeped out the other employees that had worked the same shift, but you just assumed that he was lonely and enjoyed the Halloween merchandise like you did. He never did or said anything bad, so his presence didn’t bother you in the slightest.
Cory always did say you were too trusting for your own good.
“You got in new stock today, as I understand,” he commented as he approached the glass counter, watching you re-arrange the candles on shelves behind the counter.
“That’s right!” you smiled over your shoulder at him before picking up another scented candle from the box, this one claiming to smell like witch’s brew. “Vampires are pretty popular lately, so we got a whole shipment of Vampire-themed merch today.”
Fried’s dark eyes flashed with anger before returning to normal, his hand forming a fist atop the counter. “I see,” his words were breathy. “Where?”
You didn’t notice his change in attitude or how tense he became, too focused on the task at hand – you were terrified that if you let your attention slip, you’d drop and break them and they were expensive candles. “Over in the back right corner. Mason should still be over… there…” you glanced over your shoulder, blinking at the spot he had been seconds before. ‘Huh, he must be really into vampires’.
A few minutes of silence passed. You had just placed the last candle and were hopping down from the step ladder when your co-worker, Mason, approached you with a weary expression.
“Did you finish the display?” you asked with a smile.
“Almost,” he answered, glancing over his shoulder. “That guy is really weird.”
“Fried?” you questioned, tilting your head curiously.
Mason frowned at you, his blue eyes filled with worry. “You shouldn’t be so friendly with that guy, Y/N. There’s something… off about him.”
You mirrored his frown, giving him your full attention after folding up the step ladder. “He seems fine to me.”
He sighed, shaking his head. The motion caused a few strands of blonde hair to fall over his forehead. “You’re too nice, Y/N! Just… be careful, okay? I don’t want anything to happen to you.”
A hand reached out, resting on his shoulder. He jumped back in surprise, slapping the hand away from him. Fried stared him down for a moment before turning to you. “Is everything alright, Y/N?”
Before you could answer him, Mason spoke up, eyes narrowed. “Sorry, but we’re closing early today. Please leave.”
“Do you even have that authority?” Fried challenged, folding his arms over his chest.
Mason scowled, taking a step forward. “I’m the manager on duty, so yes I have that authority. Leave now, sir.”
You frowned, your gaze flickering between the two men as they glared each other down. You could almost feel the electricity between them. After a tense minute, Fried turned and exited the store. Mason followed close behind, locking up and unplugging the neon ‘Open’ sign.
“Won’t you get into trouble for closing early?” you asked, softly, not wanting to further annoy him.
He seemed to relax a bit now that the door was secure, but he kept his guard up just in case. “Don’t worry, I’ll handle it,” he offered you a smile. “Let’s finish up and head home.”
You nodded and got back to work.
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You stifled a yawn as you entered your dorm building. It was only just turning midnight, meaning you got home about an hour or so earlier than you normally would. Even so, you were exhausted and still had class to get to early that morning. You turned the corner and froze, nearly dropping your keys. “Cory?”
The male in question had been pacing back and forth in front of your door but he stopped dead when he heard your voice. One second, he was at the end of the hall and the next, he was hugging you tightly to his body, picking you up off the ground. You giggled, wrapping your arms around his neck.
“Where the hell have you been?” he demanded, resting his face in your neck. He could hear your pulse increase. “I called you so many times!”
“I kinda forgot my phone…” you rubbed the back of your head, offering a sheepish smile.
He set you down, eyes scanning your body. It was very faint, but he detected a strange scent on you, lingering on your skin and clothes. His eyes narrowed, grip tightening unconsciously. He didn’t like that smell. Not one bit.
“Cory? What’s wrong?”
He snapped out of it, releasing you as he forced a smile. “Nothing! Just happy to see you after so long.”
Your heart skipped a beat, cheeks growing warm as you turned to your door, sliding the keys in the lock. Cory followed you inside, his nose in the air as he tried to detect the scent inside your room, but it wasn’t on any of the furniture or books. Whatever that scent came from, it had never been inside your room. That made him relax a bit.
“I didn’t know you were coming back to Oregon,” you told him, pulling your coat off.
“I wanted to surprise you,” he grinned, flopping onto the bed. “Did it work?”
“Definitely,” you turned your back to him to hide the smile that lit up your face. You were so happy to see him that you could cry, but you didn’t want to ruin the moment, so you held them back.
The scent was beginning to drive him nuts, and he knew he wouldn’t be able to fully relax as long as it invaded his nostrils. “Why don’t you go take a shower to warm up? Then we can catch up over some horror movies.”
“Is that your subtle way of saying I stink, Cory?” you raised a brow at him playfully.
If he could blush, he would have. “No, I just don’t want you to get sick.”
“Fine, fine~” you clutched your towel and change of clothes to your chest as you entered the bathroom attached to your room.
Cory grabbed your laptop, skimming through a list of horror movies. He avoided the topic of vampires and chose a movie that was sure to make your hair stand on end.
You stepped out of the bathroom, fully clothed and refreshed from the warm water. You saw Cory on his stomach on your bed, playing around on his phone. The laptop was open in front of him – he had set up the movie already, pausing it on the intro screen so you could see the title of the movie.
“The Nightmare Before Christmas? Really?” you cocked a brow, sitting beside him and crossing your legs. “Isn’t that more of a Christmas movie than Halloween?”
He shrugged, scooting over so you weren’t hanging off the edge. “Who cares. It has all of the elements to make it a good Halloween movie. It’s a movie that must be watched twice a year without fail.”
“Is that right?” you chuckled, pulling the comforter from under his body. Even though the dorms had a heating system, it was old and didn’t circulate well through the old building. Once the two of you were snuggled under the comforter, he hit play.
You made it through half the movie before your eyes began to droop. You fought against the sleepiness trying to claim you, but you lost, your head falling onto your arms. Cory smiled softly as he put his arm protectively around you, kissing your forehead.
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You entered the Halloween store with a bright smile, greeting your co-worker before heading into the back to clock in. Cory had insisted on following you to work, refusing to accept ‘no’ as an answer. You had been hesitant, but you were scheduled to work alone that night so it would be nice to have some company. Your co-worker clocked out as soon as you clocked in and left the store with a polite ‘goodbye’.
“I didn’t think this store would be so… empty,” Cory commented when you returned to the front. He leaned on the glass counter, looking at the various glass knick-knacks that had been placed on display. “Is it always this dead?”
You hummed, thoughtfully. “It’s pretty busy during the day, but it starts to slow down around five o’clock. A couple people show up at night here and there, but I’m sure as Halloween gets closer, it’ll start to get busier.”
“And do you always work alone?” he frowned. The thought made his stomach clench painfully. He didn’t consider you to be weak by no means, but what would happen if some lunatic came at you with a gun? Your chances of survival were lowered if you were alone, and the chance of getting robbed was higher. Not only that, but there were more than just criminals stalking the night.
“Not usually, no,” you picked up the basket that had been set behind the counter. It was filled with ‘return items’, or items that people decided they didn’t want or couldn’t afford at the register. “Mason, the night manager, is usually with me, but his mom is really sick so he had to call out to care for his baby sister.”
Cory followed you closely as you returned the items, his brow furrowed in thought. ‘Mason… is he the scent I detected on her? If he usually works with her, it might just be…’
The last item in the basket was a ceramic pumpkin cookie jar that needed to be returned to the top shelf. All glass and ceramic items were kept up high to avoid kids grabbing and breaking them. Even on your tiptoes, you couldn’t quite reach the shelf.
Chuckling, Cory came up behind you, his chest against your band as his large hand overtook yours. He easily pushed the pumpkin onto the shelf, but he didn’t step back from you. Your cheeks were burning and he knew it, he could smell the blood rushing to your face. 
His arms wrapped around your shoulders, his nose nuzzling your neck. It was so easy for him to turn you into a blushing mess and he loved it. He loved knowing he had this power over you, and he loved being able to feel your blood rushing through your veins. You drove him crazy and you didn’t even know it.
The bell above the door dinged and you quickly pulled away, rushing to the front of the store. You were thankful for the excuse to get away from such an embarrassing situation. Your eyes landed on Fried and you smiled, about to greet him, but his expression made you stop dead, smile faltering.
He was standing in the doorway, his hands clenched tightly at his sides and his jaw set. His eyes took in your red face and the sound of your racing heart and his eyes narrowed over your shoulder, starting to glow a bright, crimson red.
Something inside your brain told you that these were not just contacts. Alarm bells were ringing like crazy in your mind. You took a shaky step backward, smacking into Cory, who put his hands on your shoulders protectively. You glanced up at him and squeaked – his eyes were glowing red, too!
Your heart was pulsing in your ears. ‘What the hell is happening right now…’
“It was you that I smelled on her,” Cory spoke. You could see fangs inside his mouth, glinting menacingly in the low light of the store.
“And who are you?” Fried tilted his head up, a smug expression on his face. He, too had fangs that glinted when he spoke. “I have been with Y/N every day for two and a half weeks. Not once have I caught your scent. And believe me, I would have noticed since it’s so… pungent.”
Jealousy bubbled up from within him, his fists clenching as he stepped forward to put himself between you and Fried.
You aren’t sure what suddenly came over you, but you didn’t like the smug tone Fried was using or the fact that he had just insulted your best friend. You put your hands on your hips. “I’ll have you know that Cory and I are best friends and we’ve known each other for three years. And he doesn’t smell!” you instantly regretted your decision as his glare snapped to you. He looked pissed. You cleared your throat, shrinking back behind Cory, who had a mix of happiness and amusement on his face.
Fried took a step forward and Cory followed suit, ordering you to stay behind him. Fried grew angrier at this, his upper lip curling back as he hissed. “I spent three weeks scoping out this mark. Do you honestly believe I’m going to just step aside and let you have her?”
“No one decides who has me but me!” you could feel his glare through Cory’s body. “No matter how long you ‘scope me out’, I’ll never be yours!”
Fried snarled at you and you squeaked in fright, throwing your arms around Cory’s waist, your face hidden in the back of his jacket. The reality suddenly hit you that this was not a normal man that you were yelling at.
“You heard her, now leave,” Cory ordered, his voice full of bravado.
Though Fried had been a vampire much longer than Cory, about seven centuries, in fact, Cory was stronger and Fried knew that. He could easily sense the power lurking beneath the surface. If they fought it out, Fried would surely lose.
“This isn’t over,” Fried promised, but he knew it very much was. He hastily exited the store, shattering the glass when he slammed into it.
You hadn’t realized you were shaking until Cory turned, bringing you into his warm chest. His embrace was warm and protective. “Cory, you… you’re a vampire?”
His body tensed and he nodded. His voice was soft as he asked. “Are you scared of me, Y/N?”
“If I was scared of you, do you really think I’m be clinging to you, you dork?” your face was still pressed against his chest, so your words were a bit muffled, but he heard them.
Cory smiled, pulling back just enough so he could rest his forehead against yours. “I wanted to tell you so bad, but I didn’t want to scare you off.”
Your cold hands cupped his face. “You’re my best friend, Cory. No matter what happens, I’ll always be on your side,” you could feel the blood rushing to your face, but you had to speak from your heart. It was now or never. “You are honestly the most important person in my life. You always have been, and you always will be.”
Hearing those words made him lose his self-control. He slammed his lips against yours, his fangs dragging across the flesh as his grip tightened around your body. You didn’t hesitate to kiss him back, holding back a groan when his tongue swiped at your bottom lip to taste your blood.
“Come back to Korea with me,” he whispered, licking his lips, stained red from your blood. “We can get a house together. And a cat. I know you like cats.”
“Are you trying to bribe me with a cat?” you teased, tugging at his t-shirt.
He chuckled, running his tongue over your lip to collect the new bead of blood that had formed. “Maybe~ Is it working?”
“You had me long before you mentioned a cat,” you pulled away, your hands folded behind your back as you grinned. “But you can’t go back on your word! We are definitely getting a cat.”
“Of course,” Cory smiled, his voice soft. “I will give you the world, Y/N. Just say the word.”
───── ⋆⋅🎃⋅⋆ ─────
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theravencawsatmidnight · 5 years ago
Text
Bittersweet Events Part Six 🗡
The story so far.
Hero Killer Stain meets a journalist , Suki. Who is interested in his view of the world and wants to know more. Stain agrees to fill her in on his views and ideals . The two fall for each other and Suki becomes pregnant but faves complications . Stain looses Suki and has to raise their daughter Shifuku alone . Stain deals with very bad depression along with regret. Spinner finds him and convinces Stain to let him help with Shifuku. Meanwhile the villains think Stain is dead and the Pros do to . Stain decides to go out one night to see the sutuation and Deku finds him beating him up. Stain asks him if he was keeping track of how long he was gone. Before Deku can confirm his theory Stain flees the scene.
A/N. This is a little messy , i hope the read is still enjoyable . Thank you for reading! Shifuku also gets her quirk!!!! (All parts can be found under the Papachizome tag!)
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Shifuku had fallen asleep while Stain was telling her about his night . Seeing her struggle to stay awake took his mind off his sore bruised body and helped calm him down. But she did fall asleep on his chest and it made him chuckle. He spiked her hair up watching her.
He needed to go back out. Get it ... out of his system. Shifuku needed him as Chizome. Not as Stain. In the morning. One. Last. Purge..
Stain laid Shifuku down in her crib that spinner stole for her and went to the restroom to shower. He looked down at all of the blood and dirt going down the drain. He let Deku get the better of him . That cant happen again. Stain got out of the shower pulling on some sweats and a pull over hoodie. He threw himself on his bed . He ran his fingers over his stomach feeling a tense spot that made him flinch and groan. He rolled over with his arms folded trying to take his mind off it.
He dozed off into a deep sleep for awhile.
Laughing could be heard and running. A woman was laughing amd so was a man . “Oh please Mr Hero Killer dont hurt me!!” Laughed the woman.
“How dare you , you vile Hero, i will capture you!” Laughed the man . He caught up to the woman grabbing her and falling into the couch .
The two laughed snuggling together . Stain hugged Suki close wrapping her arms behind her back.
“Ive caught you , you Hero” he kissed her cheek pulling her between his legs tickling her. Suki laughed wiggling all around in his grip. “Cmon!!! Im the good guy!” She whined turning to face him , they kissed and Stain pulled her closer. “Oh no , you are the most dangerous villain. You stole my heart. “
The laughter started to fade and Stain shot up in a cold sweat . “SUKI!!!!!!.... suki....” he looked down at his hands breathing heavy. “Shes gone.. Shifuku..” he looked over jumping out of bed going to her crib to see her asleep. He rubbed his face groaning , slowly he went to the closet grabbing his costume . He went to the restroom to change and re emerged after a few minutes. He grabbed his knives from the bed and went to the living room to see Spinner asleep.
Stain went over tapping his nose making him sneeze himself awake. He looked around seeing Stain towering over him .
“Im going out, i’ll be back soon.”
“Okay but uh . You okay? You look awful”
Stain looked back glaring and Spinner shivered in his scales.
Stain was reaching the front entrance nearing the main office . The land lord saw him walk by and stood up leaving the office to go where Stain is. Stain stopped and glarred at him p. The land lord put his hands ups talking calmly.
“Uhm.. Stain ? Youve been here for a couple months now.”
“Ive been here about a year and a half “
The land lord jumped “ you .. wah?”
“Suki.”
“Suki? Is she okay? I have not seen her for awhile.”
Stain explained everything . Up to the day he lost her . “I have no where to take my daughter so ive been staying here. “
The land lord went back to his office then came back with a binder opening it up. “I... i just need to update the lease then”
“Chizome Akaguro”
“Okay . I cant let you live here rent free but uhm.., if you could keep the complex safe... “
“Ask a ‘Hero’ to do it”
“I have but they all want too much money. Its kind of off putting.”
Of course. “..Fine. That lizard that comes here is with me.” He walked past the land lord pushing the door open.
“Im sorry about Suki. If you need any-“
“Fine.” He slammed the door leaving.
Stain went behind the complex to climb it , he perched himself on the edge glancing across the city for Heroes. All these people , so oblivious . Completely dependant on these Pros for protection. But these Heroes were all the same. Stain got up and ran along the rooftops . He pulled his sword out jumping off a rooftop ontop of a Hero. He knew who he was, he became a Hero for the money , only fights villains when its good for him. Stain stabbed him in the neck and moved onto the next one.
By the time he was done the Pros had shown up be he was already gone. He left the chaos he had caused and walked into his complex not seeing the land lord. Stain went up to his apartment opeming the door too see Shifuku crawling towards him. He smiled closing the door crouching down with his arms out. Spinner was behind her making sure she did not bump anything and Stain scooped her up hugging her.
“Soo...”. Spinner said a little curious
Stain brushed the blood off his shirt sonhe could hug hig daughter and squeeze her.
“Im done purging lizard” he said .
Spinner tilted his head feeling a little sad. But at the same time , he was relieved .
•••••••
Shifuku was five now and was well... a ball of energy. The reality of fatherhood really set in for Stain when he gave up his villain life to focus on his daughter. She was hard to keep up with. Running around the complex and begging to go to the park. Stain would take her only at night untill she complained about not going during the day. He had to get a baggy hoodie to conceal himself whenever she wanted to go out during the day. Stain was really un easy about her getting his quirk or her own . He wanted her to have a fun quirk , something that made her smile and not... scare her. Spinner still came by from time to time to help out too which Stain appreciated .
Her quirk manifested one day while Stain was making her lunch. He yelled for her and she came running out . Spinner had waved to her and she waved back. When Stain turned around he saw Spinner frozen in fear and... bleeding from his eyes. He looked at Stain caughing up blood and Stain ran to Shifuku covering her eyes. Spinner fell over caughing trying collect himself.
Stain picked Shifuku up bringing her to his room and sat her on the dresser. She was crying and covering her eyes. “Show me.” He said.
Shifuku shook her head and Stain moved her arms and her very long blond hair that she would not let him cut. Her eyes were fully bloodshot and her tears were a little red. “Shifuku.” He said calmly. Stain went to the closet and came back with a small knife . He kneeled down in front of her cutting his hand . Shifuku freaked out covering her eyes again and Stain got up handing her the knife and pulling her other arm down. “Taste this Shifuku. “ he said to her while he wrapped his hand.
“But papa!!!” She whined at him prostesting.
“Now”
Shifuku turned sitting criss cross on the desk , she slowly lifted the knife to her mouth tasting the blood.
“Okay. Do you fee-“ he feel over.
“PAPA?!?” Shifuku jumped down shaking him franticly . “SPINNER!!!” She cried calling for him. Stain grabbed her arm pulling himself up leaning on the desk. He heard Lizard getting close and yelled for him to stop.
“Its fine..! Were fine.” He caughed and pulled his daughter to his lap.
“Knocked me out for a second... so you have a similar quirk to me. And you need this.” He took his mask off and wrapped it around her eyes. “This never comes off okay? Ever. “
“I... i hurt Spinner...”
“Im fine!!!!” They heard him say . He also hacked and caughed.
“Hes fine.” Stain pulled her close sighing. “I was hoping you would have a ... better quirk. “
“I dont like it..”
He looked down at her blinking.
“I.. i hurt Spinner papa.. people will make fun of it. “
“Spinner is fine. We will work on it . And youre quirk is amazing. My little gaze killer” he kissed her head tickling her.
Shifuku gasped trying to get away and Stain held her tightly. “We will work on it Shifuku. I promise”
“Okay papa..”
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