#sorry if it’s bad. it took forever and it shouldn’t have even been that complicated.

[bookinit02]

“Someone has to leave first. This is a very old story. There is no other version of this story.”

[the worm king’s lullaby/richard siken]

[sunflowervoltwentyeight]

Happy 28th! Here is my February 2024 fic rec, organized by word count, from longest to shortest. You can view my other fic recs here. Enjoy!

Remember Me Fondly by kiddle / @bluejeanlouis (73k)

“You’ve told the beginning of the story so many times. I want to hear the end.”Louis laughed, scratching at his chin. “I can’t say I really know when the end happened.”“How about the tour of ninety-five?”“Alright.” Louis took a deep breath. “But it took a few steps to get there. What would you like to know?”Penny cleared her throat.“How did you first meet Harry Styles?” Grunge legends Fearless Doe topped the rock charts in the ‘90s, but they spent the decade kicking Smudge off their heels. From lawsuits to jaw-dropping scandals and a surprising joint world tour, the two bands share a complicated history.

Twenty-five years later, frontmen Louis Tomlinson and Harry Styles are finally ready to sit down and tell the world their two sides of the same story.

Truth may vary.

I Would Know You From Touch Alone by staybeautiful / @harruandlou (72k)

They had never been face to face before now. They’d never touched, skin to skin, until Harry landed a punch to his face, high on his cheekbone.

Louis shoved him off and was pulling his fist back from Harry’s abdomen before he realized his face wasn’t tingling because of the pain.

It pooled out from his cheek, over his face, down his neck and spine. A shiver in the late September night. Heat, sparks - whatever you wanted to fucking call it.

or The Tomlinson and Cox gangs have hated each other for over forty years. Harry Styles, the grandson of Gritty Cox, was freshly back to the city after uni when, on his first night out, he punched the Tomlinson heir in the face. It shouldn’t have mattered, their gangs have done worse to each other. But all it took was one single touch to recognize your soulmate. Louis was adamant that being soulmates changed nothing, not who they were or which family they were loyal to. Or, at least, it shouldn’t have.

A Yuzu Grows in Brooklyn by stylinsoncity / @aliensingucci (66k)

Harry is a recent implant in new york and a young chef opening a restaurant called yuzu. louis, a music teacher and broadway lover, has been around the block for a while. in a city that's so fast-paced, they're slow to catch on to each other.

Ferricadooza! by suspendrs / @suspendrs (65k)

Harry can’t even fathom the idea of surrendering; he’d fight ‘til he died, if he had to, anything to keep from surrendering.

Or, the year is 1963, homosexuality is illegal in the UK, Louis owns a gay bar, and Harry’s an underground boxing champion with an unfortunate enemy.

The Recklessness in Water by LarryOn (50k)

Louis Tomlinson is miserable. He's stuck on a family vacation at a lake cabin in New Hampshire when all he wants to do is bemoan his sorry existence and wallow in his sweatpants. As if the humidity and mosquitos weren't bad enough, he becomes the singular target of an obnoxious lifeguard named Harry.

Passing By by Larry_you_know / @larryyouknow (48k)

Sometimes, people are in each other's lives just for the briefest of moments. They meet and then go their separate ways because being vulnerable is scary and it might be easier to not let anybody else in. But some people aren’t meant to be just passing by. Maybe when they open their eyes, they can learn things about themselves they haven’t known before. If they let their hearts speak they will find a way to be together.

Or the one where Harry doesn't even know he's into guys until he meets Louis on a boat trip. There's something more to their friendship but it ain't gonna be smooth sailing.

Rivers 'Til i Reach You by embodied (29k)

Louis can’t begin to understand how he’s always this close and still can’t manage to make Harry his. He stands up and gets another beer.   AU. Louis studies astronomy; Harry studies Louis. They spend their summers on the water and it shouldn't be complicated (spoiler: it is).

You Promised Forever by indierection (amandamoraisa) (21k)

[Harry wants a baby. Louis wanted a baby. Now he's not so sure.]

Of course they've always wanted to have kids, even as young as they were in 2012. But it's only ten years later, when they've been married for already three and One Direction is no longer together, that Harry and Louis will finally get to start their own family. Or at least that's what they thought, because Louis suddenly feels the pressure of fatherhood on his shoulders as he realizes he has to be responsible for another human being; and if that's not terrifying he doesn't know what it is. He is, in fact, having these sudden panic attacks when he thinks too much about the future. Yet, Louis just sucks it up because he's losing his mind, but Harry has already to much on his. Besides, in the end they are fireproof. Aren't they?

The Sunshine Stays by QuickedWeen / @becomeawendybird (15k)

It's three years after One Direction got back together, and Harry and Louis have just come off a world tour. They're enjoying a much more relaxed schedule the second time around, allowing themselves to bask in married life. Until, one day, Louis surprises Harry on vacation, and there are some surprising consequences.

[jarofstyles]

ex! harry turning up at y/ns doorstep in the middle of the night telling her that he can’t stop thinking about what they had and even though shes like 🤔😐✋🏻 at first she invites him inside to talk more in depth and he goes „bloody idiot i was..was gon' marry yeh, were gon' be the mum of my babies..wanted everything w' yeh, still do.“ and it basically ends in some passionate intense love making<33

YES YES YES

_______

She bolted.

Harry cursed to himself for pressing down hard at her, knowing that she had been a bit skittish since their breakup. He knew that he would have to handle her with caution but in that moment, his mind slipped back into owning her. She had been his first so long, and even after so many months apart it was his instinct. He wanted her.

He was a stubborn son of a bitch, that was for sure. And while he had at first been a bit hesitant about his want to after her, he knew that it would be foolish of him to not. The connection they had was further proven in those moments he had her backed against that counter, and he knew that no one else would ever be able to make him feel the way she did.

So? Harry swallowed his pride. He decided to say fuck it, and arrived at her place, hands in his pockets as he looked down at his feet. The ride up to her flat and walk down the hallway was so familiar yet felt so raw. He hadn’t been here in so long, a hallway that used to watch their kisses and fumbling with keys and frisky hands up dressed or in pants was how solemn and a bit nerve wracking. He hadn’t ever wanted to let her go and it was his fault for sure. Not being able to delegate his work with his love was his downfall but if anything, the time apart had shown him how incredibly important it was to have someone like Y/N behind him. Her support meant everything.

She meant everything.

His knuckles tapped against the door, stomach turning with nerves. She could very well tell him to fuck off, spit at him, yell. He wasn’t necessarily sure what to expect. The only inkling he had to go off of was knowing she was just as miserable without him, and her body still reacted to touches the way she used to. He had that going for him.

When she opened the door, her heart fell to her stomach. It had been 3 days since the incident, her skin still tingling with the ghost of his touch. She had come home and sobbed. Sobbed and cried and gotten sick because the touch reminded her of everything she lost, all the strides she had thought she made to her over him.. ruined. All by one night. He had too much control over her.

Despite the nerves being raw, she took in his looks. His bags under his eyes, looking a bit pale and the lack of sleep. He had cried. She knew that look anywhere. Stress riddled his body and he almost looked like he was trying to make himself look smaller and less intimidating- which was hard for a 6 foot something tattooed man.

“H-Harry?” She whispered, unsure what to do with this. “What are you doing here?” Her arms crossed against her body protectively, which broke his heart. She shouldn’t have to feel scared of him. He should be making her feel safe and relaxed and open, like he used to.

“We need to talk, Y/N. Actually, I need to say some things and it would be better if I came inside. May I?”

Dumbfounded at the idea of him actually being here, she nodded, letting him in. It hadn’t changed too much. The vanilla suede candle still burned and scented the air. The couch still had a slight dip, the same pet dish for the cat was sat half empty. But their photos were gone,’making his stomach turn.

Fuck. This used to be home. It still felt like it for a bit. But she had erased bits of him that made it shared.

She led him to the living room, sitting on the couch across from him. The middle cushion gave space, making her feel a bit better. Harry was such a complicated thing for her. The source of so, so much joy in her life… but also so much pain. He had broken her heart and left her in pieces and he hadn’t attempted to work things out with her at all. So why now?

��What is it you have to say?” Her tone came off quiet and a bit cold. As if she was annoyed and bored. But it wasn’t the case. Her heart was pounding just as hard as his, clueless as to why he was here. Why he was bothering months too late.

“Don’t…. Lovely…” he swallowed sadly. “I hurt you so badly.” His face fell as he realized this wasn’t her. His girl didnt shy away, she didn’t go cold. She was warm and sweet to him, she was open and receptive and she never looked at him like that. Why he managed to notice so late… he didn’t know.

“Yeah. You did. You hurt me so fucking badly that I thought my heart was breaking. I always thought that maybe you’d come back and tell me what a mistake you’d made. Instead, you up and left. Packed your shit like a complete and utter coward while i was at work.” Her steely expression was laced with hints of pain that he could see through. The words made him flinch. It was true. He was a coward.

“Y/N, I-“

“Shut up.” She snapped, watching his face fall into shock. It really wasn’t the old her. She had been a bit bitter since then. It wasn’t fully his doing, but he was a large contributor. “I had to come home to an empty apartment. No letter. Ni note. No you; and no more of your stuff. The records were gone. You took our fucking records.” Her voice broke. “All your clothing. Not only did my heart feel empty, but the house? And then our fucking cat.” She seethed, standing up. “Our fucking cat meowed for days. Days, Harry. Looking for you. And you never came back. Sat at the god damn door every night at 7, waiting for you to come inside.” Her cold personal broke, the emotion sweeping her face.

His stomach hurt. He didn’t realize it would be this bad. As little as she had even said, he knew he would have to make it up until the end of time. Her hurt was audible and he could even feel it dripping into his own bloodstream.

“Sweetheart…” he stood up, approaching with caution. She didn’t back away, but she didn’t step towards him. “I’m sorry. I’m so, so sorry.” His voice broke. “I thought… I was so terrible t’ya, and then y’said you never wanted to see me again…. I thought I was doing what y’wanted.” He whispered pathetically. “I shouldn’t have… I should have fought harder. But we were so miserable, Y/N. I was wrecking you.” His excuse sounded poor even to his own ears, heart dropping as her lip wobbled.

“I just wanted you. I wanted you to talk to Me. To be with me. I didn’t want you to leave. You fucking idiot!” Her voice broke as the tears stung her eyes, but she didn’t push him away when he grabbed her and tugged her into his arms. Pulling her in for a hug, squeezing her tightly as he felt her start to sob. His own tears were quietly burning in his eyes. Seeing the result of his idiocy in person hurt.

“I’m so sorry, so fucking sorry. I thought you’d be happier without me… knew I was being an idiot and wasn’t giving you the right attention. But I thought you’d want to find me when y’wanted me again…” his logic was flawed yet again, and he realized how dumb he sounded when he said it out loud. “The plan was always us. Was Gonna marry ya. Y’were gonna be the mumma to my babies, was gonna be with you forever. It’s all I’ve ever wanted.” He whispered sadly, lips speaking against her hair.

“It’s still all I want. Y/N, angel love…. Please. Know I’ve been so stupid but I can’t do another day without you. I know I hurt you so badly… I’ll never forgive myself f’that. But I’ll spend every single day trying to make it up to you. I want you. I’ve missed you so much it hurts. Please… give me a chance to do what I should have done.” He pleaded, pulling her back to hold her face in his rough palms.

The sincerity dripping through his voice, the tears that had escaped his eyes and the trembling of his hands holding her cheeks let her see that he meant it. He meant it and he wanted to try. Maybe she was the idiot for believing him. But with a love she felt for him, so strongly remaining after all this time apart…. She only had one answer.

“Okay.”

[thestarrynightslover]

You and Me

Pairing: Jay Halstead x Reader

Word count: 2,649

Warnings: Angsttt, slight swearing, mentions of harassment and violence (all show-like, tho).

Summary: Jay and (y/n) were trying to navigate their secret workplace romance when an unexpected event agitates their feelings about it.

Disclaimer: I don’t own any of the One Chicago shows, or its characters, also not associated with it in any way or know anyone involved with it.

A/N: No, I am not very sure of what exactly this is, sorry! I think it turned out kinda messy but, being honest, I just really wanted to write their interactions within that kind of angst! 

Anyways, I hope this isn’t too bad and I am very sorry about dropping this kind of imagine instead of something good enough to help us heal from the finales.  

(y/n) = (your name) (y/l/n) = (your last name) (y/n/n) = (your nickname)

| masterlist |

It had been about 20 minutes since you finally convinced Kevin that you were okay and that he should go home when you heard someone knock on the door. You knew it was him. It had to be him. You needed it to be him. So you quickly moved to open, after checking the peephole. As soon as there was a hint of an opening, you felt Jay’s arms around you, his breath on your neck, and his voice cracking with concern.

"Oh my God, baby, I was so worried about you!" He sounded absolutely desperate, his arms enveloping you in just the way your own despair required him to.

"I know, I know... I just... I-" You tried to let out but couldn't continue because you'd started sobbing. Around Jay, it was inevitable for you to put your walls down. And, almost as soon as your tears started to fall, your boyfriend brought you even closer; holding you tightly by the waist with one arm, the other stroking your hair.

"Shh, it's gonna be okay, princess. You're okay now." He told you, but the truth was he wanted to cry as well. Not only had those past days been pure agony for him — a lonely agony —, but, also, because, even with you like that, you both knew that Jay wouldn't be able to keep a promise to stay the night if he got a call from work. Because no one knew that he needed to stay by your side. That you needed him there. Because no one knew how much all of that was hurting him, too. Because no one knew anything.

"I'm just- I just came so- so close this time, you know?" You tried to let him in on how you were feeling, pulling away a little so you could see his face better.

"I know." He replied, letting out a breath he didn't know he'd been holding. "And it all happened so suddenly, I felt so stupid, powerless..." Jay confessed, as he remembered the operation that’d gotten you abducted, leaving the entire team with no clue on how it happened. 

But, for your boyfriend, it was pretty clear, though: the two of you were covering one side of the building and, afraid you might get upset with him for hovering, he didn’t have your back the way he should have. It was his fault that it all happened to you.

"Jay... That wasn't your fault, okay?” You stated firmly, as if you knew exactly what he was thinking. “None of us could've guessed that it would turn into something that, um, bad..." You said, not being able to stop the shiver that ran through your body, which made Jay go back to holding you close.

"Still, I should have done a better job at protecting you-" He started to mutter quietly in your hair, but you stopped him with a disapproving look.

"Stop, okay? Just stop! I'm a cop too, I have been a cop for about the same time that you have and I never needed or had a boyfriend protecting me in some special manner on the job!" He just stared at you, shock and hurt in his eyes.

"I know that, okay? I do know that." He told you quickly, as his hands went up from your sides, in a sign of surrender. "And I'm sorry if it came across as if I thought any differently. I'm sorry, baby. It's just that-" He paused for a moment, looking so hurt while sighing deeply, "It was really hard to not know what was going on with you, even after you went to the hospital... I mean they called Kevin to go stay with you in the hospital!" Another sigh, this time, an annoyed one. "And, seeing that, I guess that I just- I just wished that none of it had happened?"

"Jay..."

"I'm sorry. I shouldn't be saying this right now. I'm making this about me, when it's actually about you, geez." He reprehended himself while pinching the bridge of his nose.

"No, no! It's okay. Because this is about you, too. And I'm glad you're telling me how you feel." Hearing that, he just looked at you and wondered about how on Earth he had managed to snatch someone like you. "First things first: what happened to me wasn't your fault. I don’t say this often but: as great a partner as Kevin is, I love working by your side. And, I do it without any fear or concern because I know you'll have my back. One hundred percent." You assured him while giving his hand a gentle squeeze, "now, the second thing: you do know that they only called Kevin because he is my partner, right?"

"I, uh, I do know that," yet another sigh.

"Okay, Jay. I love you and I really need you right now. But, if you don't stop sighing and just say what you wanna say already, I will kick you out of here." At that, he couldn't help but to let out a soft chuckle. God, you loved his smile.

"I don't wanna upset you with this. Especially now. But, I guess, I just would have liked to be the one they called." Seeing the instant frown you made, he clarified: "Not as your partner. As your boyfriend."

You had to admit that, even though you knew going public with your relationship was something Jay thought a lot about, you weren't expecting him to say that at all. Not at that moment, at least. And, being the not-so-calm person you were, the conversation quickly took a turn.

"What the hell? I just got back from the worst moment of my life and you wanna use that- pry on that to pressure me into going public?" God, that was harsh. You knew as soon as the words left your mouth. You regretted it as soon as the words left your mouth. But you didn't dare to open it again, as you watched his face go from hurt to annoyance and then a hint of anger.

"You're kidding, right?" You didn't answer. "Please, tell me you're kidding?"

"Babe, I'm-"

"You're what? You're sorry? Because, man, that shit you just said? That hurt!" He stood there in silence for a moment before continuing: "do you have any idea of what these past days were like for me? You think I'm bringing this up now just because I wanna shout to everyone that you're my girlfriend? Claim you as mine or whatever bullshit reason you think I have for wanting to go public?” You still couldn’t say anything, so he went on, “well, it's not any of that. I'm talking about this because you were missing for two entire fucking days that felt like forever to me, but I couldn't tell anyone how I'd die if anything happened to you because, hey! I was respecting your wishes! I felt guilty about the operation and thought that the least I could do was keep my pain all to myself. Which is kinda funny because you're always telling me not to bottle up my emotions!" By then you were crying, just because you were too mad at yourself for making him feel like that, and he paused but only to take a breath: "But, you know that all of that wasn't even what hurt the most? The worst part was when I got a text from Burgess on the chat group saying that they'd found you and had taken you to Med, but that we could continue doing our surveillance on one of the offenders because Kev was already on the way there!" He shouted this time, which made you wince a little — even though he looked more hurt than angry, really. Running his hands through his hair, Jay completed: "and, now, that I'm finally able to be with you- to- to know for myself that you're okay! You suggest that I was-" He couldn't even finish the sentence, which showed even more just how distraught he truly was. "I guess I just- I just can't believe that you don't see that all I wanna do is be here. With you. Taking care of you. Which is all I wish I could’ve done at the hospital, too…"

"I know, Jay." You whispered with a weak voice. Unsure that he'd heard you, you tried it a bit louder: "I know, Jay. And, trust me, I am so sorry for what I said! I don't- I just… I just wish it didn't have to be this complicated…" You knew what that sounded like. And, God, you were terrified about it. How could not you find anything good enough to say?

"Maybe I shouldn't be saying this… Maybe I shouldn't be trying anymore…” Because it sure looks like you gave it up, he wanted to add, "but I- I need to at least ask. Why does it have to be so complicated?"

"Jay, babe-"

"No! Don't do that! Don't try and stall me with that soft tone! I just wanna know why!"

"You know why, Jay!"

"I don't! I really don't! Or have you forgotten that all you did so far was give me half-ass excuses about privacy and being shy?"

"Okay! You wanna know why?" You half-asked, half-barked at him, "it's because I am scared of what will happen! That's why! Throughout all of my career, I've had to prove myself, then I got this sort of arranged job at Intelligence which not only threw all of my hard work to hell but, also, never lets me rest because it never really feels like I'm a part of that so-called family you guys have! And Voight? Every single day I still feel like he's testing me! Giving me the silliest assignments and being overly mad whenever I get the lead on a case! But, somehow — as messed up as it may sound —, I don't wanna lose that job! I don't wanna risk going back to the unit I came from, where I was constantly harassed and intimidated!" You blurted it all out, only stopping to take a breath while Jay simply stood there looking completely shocked. "And you, Jay, as great as you are — and you're literally the best thing that's ever happened to me —, you can very easily put all of that at risk." Now it was your turn to sigh. You could only hope that you sounded as defeated as you felt: having to give up the guy who was probably the love of your life just to not go from one toxic work environment back to an even more toxic one. Your mouth tasted sour after that realization, which just made you remember how sweet Jay's always was.

"You never told me any of that." He muttered quietly, pulling you out of your thoughts.

"I know and I'm sorry. I just… Thought it would get better. Eventually."

"You know I could have helped, right?" He stated sadly, then adding with a shred of hope: "You know… Maybe I still can?"

"Jay… Let's just not make this harder. Please."

"Just hear me out for a second: you are a part of our family." At that you just scoffed and looked the other way, making him pull your chin to connect your eyes again. "You are. I said I was going crazy with you missing but they all were too, including Voight."

"Yeah, right."

"It's true! Why would I lie to you about this? He looked truly haunted and, if I'm being honest, I think he just hoped he wouldn't get too close to you, to keep his head on straight in case something like this ever happened." He gulped harshly before continuing, "in case something worse happened. I think he simply can't handle losing anyone else, (y/n/n)."

"Y- you really think that?" You asked him and, you'd be lying if you said that you didn't get just a little hopeful.

"I do, darling," he told you in a soft tone. "And I'm not making excuses for him here or anything, okay? I'm just tryna tell you that we can deal with Voight. We can deal with rumors. I swear I will fucking kill anyone who dares to even touch your name on that stupid department!"

"Jay!" You started to reprehend again, even though you knew that he was just trying to lighten the mood. "That is exactly the kind of stuff you can't even think about doing after we go public!" You told him while spatting his arm.

"Ouch! Wait a second, did you really just say after we go public?" The way his eyes twinkled at that moment was enough to get you to agree with anything he wanted, really.

"But, hey! Don't get all exci-" You couldn't finish your sentence as he had already swept you off your feet and started kissing you all over. It hurt a little, due to your bruises, but it's not like you actually gave a damn about it.

"Don't get excited? Lady, I'm already over the moon!" He told you with the biggest smile you’d ever seen.

“Oh, God. You look so damn cute right now!! I can’t believe that I-” You cut yourself off because your voice started to crack while a big amount of sorrowful tears rolled down your cheeks. Seeing you like that, once more, made Jay start panicking a little, scared that maybe you were backing down on your relationship again.

“Baby? What’s wrong? Talk to me, please, (y/n/n).” Hearing the confusion in his plead sort of brought you back to say:

“I- I just can’t believe that I said the things I said to you! I hurt you! I hurt you in the kind of way I was scared you were you gonna get hurt when it seemed like I was gonna-”

“Don’t you dare complete that sentence, okay?!?” He half-asked, half-begged you, letting on so much heartbreak, “first of all: nothing could have ever hurt me in the way you being gone did. No matter how hard you might have tried, you just wouldn’t be able to get there, girl.” He said more casually, shrugging his shoulders in a way that made you crack a small smile. “And, second: I don’t want you thinking about me, in any way, when you're out there in the field. You just can't, love."

"I know, but at that moment, I-"

"Look, princess, you need to promise me that you will try your best to never do that again, okay? Because if you do, if the people we chase see any weaknesses they'll take advantage of it. And, then... But I know it's hard. You're the first thing on my mind whenever something goes south too, but I just- I love you too much to face the idea of losing you! So you need to promise me that you will keep your head one hundred percent focused on whatever is at hand, please, babe!" He begged you with such urgency in his voice that new tears started rolling down your already marked face.

"Oh, Jay... I love you, too, okay? More than anything in the world! But you know that, when we're in that kinda moment, our minds sometimes just wonder..." Seeing his concerned expression, you decided to add: "However, if you promise me you'll try your best to focus on your work, in the same way, I'll promise it too." At that, he gave you a cheeky smile.

"Deal. Now let's get you in bed cause it's been a long couple of days, detective." He said, picking you up one more time and carrying you to your bedroom.

"Oh my God! Jay, put me down!!" You squealed out, though you didn't really want him to put you down, ever.

[eliemo]

Love Our Way

Summary: Virgil knew he should have said something right there. But he didn’t, because he knew that would be the end.

Notes: Ace Virgil fic with romantic LAMP

TWs: Mentions of sex but no details. A little bit of internalized acephobia but barely, Virgil just has negative self esteem.

They’d been together a few months now and it had been, without a doubt, the best few months of Virgil’s life. 

It’d been a bit nerve wracking in the beginning, those first couple of weeks, as excited and thrilled as he was, Virgil had been extra paranoid about doing something wrong, about giving them any reason to lose feelings for him. 

He honestly hadn’t thought it could work at first. Relationships rarely worked out with two people, let alone four. Eventually they would fight, or lose feelings, or decide it was all too complicated. And things would get awkward and they could all end up hating each other and who knew what it would do to Thomas if they could no longer stand to be in the same room—

But they didn’t. By some miracle, that never happened.

Things were...things were perfect, as scared as Virgil had been to use the word. They’d been amazing ever since the anxious side was allowed to join their family, the love and warmth a wonderful kind of overwhelming he’d never felt before, but actually dating the people he loved more than anything, no longer needing to be afraid to express his feelings…

It was more than he’d ever thought he would get. More than he ever thought could be possible. Sometimes he still couldn’t believe it was real. 

They fit together like puzzle pieces, making each other stronger, pushing each other to be better, gentle and encouraging, coexisting in peaceful harmony. 

Virgil had never felt so welcomed, so surrounded by unconditional support and affection. They showed him just how much he had to offer. For the first time he’d actually felt like he wasn’t just a burden. 

It was hard, especially when it took a while to convince himself that he wasn’t invited into the relationship out of convenience, but because they actually wanted him. 

But they loved him. He knew that now. They all loved each other, flaws and all. 

And, well...Virgil should have known it wouldn't last forever. 

Not for him. Because...because that was just the way things were, wasn’t it? He’d made progress, he wasn’t the bad guy anymore, but he was still Anxiety. Things were just destined to go wrong. 

He really hadn’t given a single thought. It never crossed his mind as something that could ever be a problem, even when they had initially gotten together. No one else seemed intent on bringing it up, so Virgil had figured they never would. 

But then it had. Logan had brought the topic up about a week ago, somewhat awkward but still painfully casual, the conversation simply to discuss everyone’s level of comfort when it came to intimacy. 

Which...yeah, Virgil guessed it made sense. They were dating, the four of them happy and comfortable with their relationship, and had been for months now. So obviously sex was going to get brought up eventually. Boundaries needed to be set before...anything actually happened. It was routine for a healthy relationship. 

Except Virgil hadn’t actually thought they would ever talk about it. Because he’d known for a long time that he was asexual and he’d just...kind of assumed the others were too.

Which in retrospect, was a stupid conclusion to jump to. 

Virgil had known for years now, long before befriending the others. It had taken him a while to be sure, lots of research and panic and overthinking, but he’d eventually grown comfortable with the label. It was just another part of who he was. 

But he’d also never really understood why. Thomas wasn’t asexual so it didn’t make any sense for Virgil to have a separate identity. 

Unless it was just something all the sides experienced, none of them able to feel that kind of attraction.

But he’d never actually gotten around to asking. No one brought it up, and before the...development in their relationship it never seemed like something that would be an issue. So he’d just assumed, and ran with it. 

But clearly that wasn’t the case. Not when Roman and Patton were responding to Logan’s question with varying levels of eagerness and approval, comfortable and willing to take the next step when they were all ready.  

And Virgil knew he should have said something right there. They had given him the perfect opportunity to come out, quick and easy, and avoid anything uncomfortable in the future. 

But he didn’t. Because...because that would be the end, wouldn’t it? 

They would be sweet about it, of course. Thank him for being honest. But if he was the only one who didn’t want that...well, what was the point of him being a part of things? 

It was a cruel thing to assume, he knew that. None of them were shallow enough to see sex as something necessary, and he knew they would never force him into anything. 

But...but he already offered so little. They already had to jump through so many hoops to accommodate his anxiety, and it wasn’t like he was particularly loving or good at romance, as hard as he tried. As loving and amazing as they were, this could simply be the final straw. 

He wanted to be with them. He wanted them in every other way. He loved them more than anything. But he wouldn’t fight it when they ended up distancing themselves from him. 

Virgil just wasn’t ready for that heartbreak yet. So he plastered on a fake smile, and nodded along with the others.

 He’d tell them tomorrow. The longer he waited, the worse it would be. 

_

“Movie night!” Patton declared, skipping into the living room where Virgil was scrolling aimlessly on his phone. “And don’t think you’re getting out of it this time, Virge!”

Virgil tried to ignore the way his stomach twisted at the phrasing, swallowing against rising panic and sending Patton a smile. It was just movie night, same as every Friday. 

It had been two weeks now, and he still hadn’t told them. He’d managed to avoid last week’s movie night with the excuse of an upset stomach, desperately trying not to think about what they could be doing without him. 

And now...now he’d have to tell. They’d already be upset he waited this long, he couldn’t put it off any longer. 

Besides, they’d all be in the same bed all night, as they often were, relaxed and happy and enjoying each other’s company. They wouldn’t ever force him into something he wasn’t comfortable with, even if they wanted nothing to do with him after he came out. 

He’d lied, after all. He should have told them right away. 

“I'll be right there,” he said, forcing a smile as Patton made his way upstairs to his bedroom where the others were likely waiting. “Just...give me a second.” 

This was it, then. Hopefully afterwards, it wouldn’t be too awkward. Hopefully they would still be willing to keep him around as a friend. 

They were all waiting for him by the time he made it to Roman’s room, the three of them sprawled out on the bed in a pile of laughs and smiles, and Virgil’s heart felt like it was trying to break through his chest. 

He loved them so much. He wanted nothing more than to forget all of this and be held in their arms, content and warm until the sun came up. 

But putting it off wasn’t fair to them. And it wasn’t fair to him either. 

“Virgil!” Roman exclaimed, and Virgil felt lightheaded at the fond, excited looks he was being given. “Come help us choose a movie!” 

He almost chickened out again, just for a second. But he couldn’t panic. Not until it was out in the open and he could deal with the consequences. 

After tonight, he could very well end up alone again. Isolated like a villain. 

Why did he have to keep turning out to be different? Why was he always meant to end up alone? 

“In a second,” he said, stopping just inside the doorway. “I...I need to say something first, if that’s ok.”

Their smiles dropped slightly, but their gentle, welcoming expressions never wavered. The three of them sat up in bed, scooting forward as Patton nodded. 

“Of course, honey,” he said. “What’s on your mind?” 

He was actually doing this. He just...had to figure out how to start. 

Virgil took a breath and stuffed his hands in his pockets to hide how they’d begun to shake. “Just to- just to get it out there to make it easier for you guys...I- I get it if you want to break up with me after this.”  

That got their attention, their heads snapping up with wide, wary eyes. Virgil couldn’t quite bring himself to look at them anymore. 

“I’m just saying,” he muttered, and god he was shaking so bad. “I’ll understand.” 

The silence only stretched on another few seconds before Logan cleared his throat. “We’re listening, Virgil.” 

Ok. Ok he could do this. He...really should have planned out what he was going to say first. 

“I should have told you right away,” he started. “I know I should have. It’s not fair to you guys and I’m...I’m really sorry that I didn’t. I wasn’t trying to...to lie or- or lead you on or anything, I just...love you guys. A lot. I’ve loved being with you and I wasn’t ready to...you know...ruin that.” 

“Virge? What...what did you do, darling?” 

It was passed off as a joke, the Prince forcing a small smile, but there was serious concern behind it. 

Virgil quickly shook his head. “It’s not...I didn’t realize that it would be, you know, an issue. But you guys want...you want someone who’s not...me. Because- because I’m…” 

Say it, just say it. 

“I’m asexual. And you guys...I shouldn’t have kept that from you. I’m sorry. I’m just...sorry. I’m sorry I didn’t tell you.” 

And that was...it. That was it. They knew now. 

They knew, and they could react how they wanted. If they were angry, Virgil wouldn’t blame him. If they were disgusted and demanded he leave...Virgil wouldn’t fight it, no matter how badly it hurt. 

He knew them better than to truly assume that would be the case, but the thought was still there. 

Furious or not, there was no way they’d trust him enough to keep him in the relationship. 

But he had to hold it together until the end of the conversation. He’d escape as soon as they let him, and then...and then he’d readjust to being alone. 

Unfortunately, none of them seemed particularly inclined to answer, the silence stretching on a moment too long. He risked a glance up from the floor, hunching his shoulders when he caught Logan’s eye. 

“Virgil,” the logical side said. “Come sit down, please.”

He quickly shook his head, taking a step back. He didn’t need a long, drawn out ending to this. He wouldn’t be able to hold it together that long. 

“You...you guys don’t have to--” 

“Virgil,” Patton cut him off, scooting aside to make room. “Come over here and talk to us.” 

And he’d never be able to deny Patton anything, would he? Not when he sounded so desperate. 

Virgil moved forward on shaky legs, focusing solely on his breathing to keep himself from crying, ending up seated in between Patton and Logan, Roman pressed up against the moral side. 

“This doesn’t need to be a conversation,” he said, just wanting to get out. “I...I said I would understand.” 

Virgil jumped when there was a hand against his cheek, Logan suddenly cupping his jaw and turning his head until they were face to face, the logical side’s eyes piercing behind his glasses. 

“Virgil,” Logan started, sounding almost breathless. “How...on earth could you think this would end in a break up?” 

Virgil blinked, wondering if this was some kind of trick question. “What? I don’t--” 

“Darling,” Roman said, and the Prince was suddenly scooting over to sit in front of Virgil, the three of them surrounding him. “You thought we would leave if you came out as Ace?” 

Virgil shook his head because no, that...that wasn’t the problem. Not entirely, anyway. “It’s not...guys I lied. You asked me to be in a relationship with you and I didn’t say anything.” 

“You did not lie,” Logan said, never dropping his hand from Virgil’s face. “You just were not ready to come out yet. You and I both know there is a substantial difference.” 

There was a hand suddenly slipping into his own, and Virgil startled when he realized it was Patton’s, the moral side’s free hand now running fingers through his hair. 

“You weren’t comfortable sharing that part of yourself,” he said. “That’s totally ok, sweetheart. No one’s mad at you. I’m just glad you said something before something...happened.” 

Logan’s hand suddenly dropped, his eyes big and painfully worried, and Virgil had to force himself not to look away. 

“Virgil,” he said slowly. “You do not...owe us anything. Especially not something like sex. If we made you feel like--” 

“What? Jesus- no.” Virgil moved his hand away from Patton, pulling his knees up to his chest, squeezing his eyes shut to try to get a hold of himself. “It wasn’t...I just thought...it would be too...t-too much to deal with, you know?” 

They weren’t breaking up with him. They weren’t. He’d been stupid to think that. There was no reason he should still be so upset. 

He couldn’t make them feel guilty. He couldn’t make them think they’d been the ones to do something wrong when they’d been nothing but perfect. He couldn’t--

“Oh Virgil.” 

Too late he realized the tears had started to spill over, his face burning as he pressed a hand against his mouth to try and muffle any treacherous sobs. 

There was a pair of arms around him, warm and grounding, and it took Virgil a moment to realize it was Roman, gently guiding him into the embrace. He didn’t fight it, falling limp against the Prince’s chest with a pathetic choking noise. 

“S-sorry,” he managed in between sobs. “I’m sorry, I- I don’t know why I’m...I sh-should have told you, I- I thought you’d...I thought you’d run out of reasons to- to want me.” 

“We could never,” Roman whispered, holding him tight. Patton moved forward to rub circles along his back, Logan reaching out to squeeze his hand. “You’re beautiful, Virgil. And this doesn’t change a thing.”

It didn’t make sense. None of it made any sense. If one of them had come out, it would be different. But with him...there was already so much to deal with, so much they were forced to handle. 

Eventually, it had to get to be too much, right? He’d already figured they’d get fed up with the extra steps they had to take to respect his boundaries, Virgil always a little more wary when it came to being vulnerable. 

But they all sounded so...genuine. Princey hadn’t once loosened his hold, still whispering quiet reassurances, Patton was back to running his fingers through Virgil’s hair, pressing kisses to his free hand. 

And Logan still held on tight, counting out familiar breathing exercises just loud enough for Virgil to hear, always knowing how to calm him down. 

When he finally managed to calm down, taking in deep, shuddering breaths, he reluctantly pulled away from Roman, wiping at his eyes as he stared down at his lap. 

“Sorry,” he muttered. “I never thought...I wouldn’t have let you guys do anything. I was always gonna tell you eventually I just...kept putting it off.” 

“That is quite alright,” Logan said, sounding oddly hesitant. “But I...don’t think I could forgive myself if we had taken the next step without realizing you would not enjoy it.” 

Virgil nodded, forcefully pushing down the sickening panic at the thought. “I know. I wouldn’t have let that happen. I promise.” 

Patton and Logan both squeezed his hands, Patton tilting forward to press a kiss to his temple before leaning his forehead on Virgil’s shoulder. He allowed himself to lean into the touch, taking another shaky breath before continuing. 

“I’m...I am sorry though. If this complicates things.” 

Roman cocked his head slightly, frowning. “Complicates things?” 

“Yeah,” Virgil said, hoping he wasn’t about to refute every wonderful thing that had just been said. “We’re...in a relationship. And you all want...I mean, Roman you’re pretty much all romance, so I know you want--” 

He cut himself off, caught completely off guard when Roman started laughing. 

“Sorry,” the Prince said quickly, smiling at the exasperated looks Virgil realized the others were giving him. “Sorry, I just...gosh, Virgil can I kiss you?” 

Virgil blinked, mind suddenly completely blank. “I...uh, sure?” 

True to his word, Roman was suddenly cupping Virgil’s face in both his hands, gently pressing their lips together, and just like always Virgil melted against the touch, completely safe for just a single, blissful moment. 

When Roman pulled back, he met Virgil’s gaze, brimming with nothing but adoration and love. “Virgil, darling, you really think I see something as trivial as sex romantic?”

“I mean...yeah?” 

“Virgil, I love you. You, not...not what you have to offer. I love seeing you in the mornings, and holding you...I love hearing your voice. I want to cook you dinners and pick you flowers and sing for you. That’s romantic, Virge. Not...not something as small as sex. That’s not what’s important. Not to me.” 

“I, for once, am in agreement with Roman,” Logan said. “Sexual intimacy has never been of importance to me. It certainly does not hold enough power to damage our relationship in any way if you do not desire it. And it certainly has no power over my feelings for you.” 

Virgil was suddenly dangerously close to crying again. “I--” 

“Besides, there is no logical reason for us to engage in sexual intercourse. We are not human, so the need to reproduce does not--” 

Roman thankfully cut him off with a kiss, Logan making a noise somewhere between surprise and annoyance, but reciprocated without further complaint. 

Patton was suddenly taking both of Virgil’s hands, their fingers laced together, and Virgil suddenly wasn't quite so scared to meet the moral side’s eyes. 

“I don’t care about something silly like that,” Patton said. “I just care about you, honey. The four of us being safe and happy and together. If we all just cuddle and tell each other how much we love each other...nothing else could ever make me that happy. So don’t you worry about a thing, ok?” 

Virgil wasn’t sure whether he laughed or sobbed, but he was smiling back at Patton, at the people who surrounded him with unconditional love, and he nodded. 

“Ok,” he agreed, feeling lighter than he thought he ever had. “Thank you. All of you. I...I love you all. So much.” 

Within moments they were all tangled up in each other, the television playing an old comfort movie, Virgil wrapped up in Logan’s arms with his head against Roman’s chest, Patton leaned against his legs. 

It was still perfect, and Virgil had a funny feeling it always would be. He loved them, more than anything in the entire world, and there wasn’t a doubt in his mind they felt the same way.

[storiesforallfandoms]

that makes it all feel complicated ~ machine gun kelly

word count: 1423

request?: yes!

“Colson baker x female reader. The reader and colson have been dating for awhile and one day colson takes her to meet Pete but when colson introduces her to Pete her and Pete are acting like they’ve known each other for years when colson asks how they know each other they and they both reveal that they dated, later on while hanging out with Pete the reader notices how colson is looking at Pete and he reveals that he’s jealous but she reassures him that she only has eyes for him. She’s a comedian.”

description: in which he finds out his best friend is his girl’s ex, and he starts to feel a little jealous of their connection

pairing: machine gun kelly x female!reader

warnings: swearing

masterlist (one, two)

The excitement building up to Colson’s SNL performance was coursing through everyone’s veins, including yours. Colson was practically skipping to his dressing room before his soundcheck. You giggled as you followed him. You had never seen him so excited for a performance before.

Before he reached his dressing room, he exclaimed and bounded into the arms of one of the cast members. As you got closer, you recognized the face of Colson’s best friend, Pete Davidson.

“Man, it’s about time you’re on the show,” Pete said once his embrace with Colson ended. “I’ve been trying to get you on here since the album dropped.”

“Dude, this has been my dream for years. I can’t believe it’s finally happening.” Suddenly remembering your presence, Colson turned to you. “Oh, Pete, this is my girlfriend, (Y/N). Babe, this is Pete.”

You tried to hide your knowing smile as Colson introduced the two of you, but it was nearly impossible when Pete was already chucking at the irony of the situation.

“Hey Pete,” you said.

“Hey (Y/N). Good to see you.”

Colson looked between the two of you. “You two know each other?”

You gave him a confused look before realization crossed your face. Pete mirrored your confused look as he looked between the two of you. “You...you don’t know.”

Before either of them could say anything else, you quickly said, “Pete and I used to date. Like forever ago, way before you and I got together.”

Colson’s eyes got so wide you were sure they’d pop out of his head. Pete’s face got red with embarrassment, realizing he had dropped the ball on the situation. You took Colson’s hand and dragged him into the dressing room, politely excusing yourself from Pete. Colson seemed to be in a daze as you closed the door behind you. Every ounce of excitement seemed to melt away and you immediately felt bad.

“You never told me you dated Pete,” was the first thing he said when the door closed.

“I never thought of it,” you said with a shrug. That wasn’t a lie. You really hadn’t thought to tell Colson. It wasn’t like the two of you spent much time with Pete, considering the fact that Colson had only just introduced you for the first time.

“He’s my best friend, how could you not think of it?”

His anger made you back away a moment. Realizing this, his face softened and he sighed. “I’m sorry. It’s none of my business, I shouldn’t be so mad.”

“You have every right to be annoyed with me,” you said. “But I really didn’t think to tell you. We dated years ago, before Pete was even famous. It honestly slipped my mind that we even dated because it was so long ago, even though you are friends with him.”

You knew it was a lot for Colson to take in. Before he could say anything else, the producers of the show knocked on the door to tell Colson it was time for his soundcheck. You took hold of Colson’s arm to stop him before he left. “I’m sorry I never told you.”

“It’s okay babe,” Colson said. “I get it, but you’re mine now and I know nothing will change that.”

You smiled as Colson gave you a quick kiss and started making his way to the stage. You followed behind, trying to get the excitement back that you were both feeling before your encounter with Pete.

The run through of Colson’s first song went perfect and they didn’t feel the need to go through it again. The second song on his setlist was my ex’s best friend, and of course, this was the time Pete had arrived to watch him.

“Aye, you know my ex So that makes it all feel complicated yeah”

“I’m sorry if I caused anything between you and Colson,” Pete said to you. “I genuinely didn’t know you hadn’t told him.”

You shrugged. “Don’t worry about it. He was shocked, but he seemed alright after getting the news.”

“You walked in my life at 2am Cause my boy’s new girl is your best friend”

“You two are perfect for one another,” Pete commented. “I’m sure you don't need to be told that, though.”

You chuckled at his comment. “I hear it almost every time we post online together. Plus, I know it’s a cliché, but I knew from the moment I met him that Colson was the one for me.”

Pete smiled. “I’m glad my boy found himself an amazing girl, and you found someone you deserve, too.”

You smiled back at Pete. You were glad the two of you hadn’t had a bad break up. It had been years ago, as you told Colson before, but you had both decided you just weren’t right for one another. You friendship had grown apart after Pete’s career started, but you still held no ill will towards Pete.

“Now we’re in the backseat of a black car Going home And you ask me Is it wrong if I come up with you?”

Colson found himself glaring at his best friend as his girlfriend laughed at something that was said. He was trying to focus on the song, but it was hard when the information (Y/N) had told him earlier was running through his head.

Of course he trusted her when she said the relationship was long over and there was nothing between them, and he believed that she genuinely forgot to tell them. Even though he trusted her and Pete, he still felt jealousy building up inside of him. He couldn’t help but see the two of them in a different light with this new knowledge.

“Hey Kells?” came a voice through his earpiece. “You’re uh...kinda off there?”

Colson realized he had stopped singing all together. He shook his head, trying to snap himself out of his own head. “Yeah sorry. Start over?”

You were watching with slight confusion as Colson started the song over. You could see he was trying not to look at you and Pete, but his eyes kept glancing over towards the two of you every so often. It didn’t take you long to realize what was going on.

“That was better, right?” Colson asked when he finished the first part of the song and Blackbear’s voice started singing on the track.

“That was good,” the producer confirmed. “Do you feel like you have to run over it again?”

His eyes glanced towards you again. You started to approach the stage and held a hand out to your boyfriend. “Quick break, I’m stealing the rockstar.”

Neither of you waited for an answer as Colson almost immediately stepped off the stage and followed you to a more private area. Once you were away from everyone, you crossed your arms. “Are you upset over Pete and I?”

Colson looked down, but you took his chin in your hand and tilted his head up to look at you again. “Colson, look at me. Are you upset?”

He sighed and shook his head. “I’m not upset...but I am jealous.”

“Why? I told you we’ve been long over and there’s so far from being anything there between us.”

“I know, and I believe you, but I just have this feeling of jealous in me seeing you two together. It’s like I’m looking at the two of you in a different light, and I can’t help but think...well, Pete’s known you longer and knew you before I did. What if he’s better for you than I am because of that?”

You cupped Colson’s face and looked up into the blue eyes you loved so much. “Colson, baby, it doesn’t matter how long I’ve known Pete or if we were together before I was with you or anything like that. I love you, you know that. You said it yourself earlier - I’m yours and nothing will change that.”

Colson nodded and rested his head against yours. “I know, I was being stupid.”

“You were being very stupid,” you teased. “But I am here to remind you of that I’m yours whenever you need the reminder.”

Colson smiled and gave you a quick kiss. You smiled back and grabbed his shoulders, spinning him to face the stage again. “Now, stop being stupid and go sing.”

You heard him chuckle as he raced back to the stage. You watched him go with a smile on your face, feeling so lucky to be able to call that adorable dork yours.

[soundsgoodfeelslikeshit]

Fights and Waves

Summary: JJ and Y/N have been fighting constantly and JJ finally decides to end it. Will John B be able to bring Y/N back to the group? Will JJ and Y/N be able to fix the relationship with each other and get back together? 

A/N: If enough people like this I can do a part two. This was in my drafts for a pretty long time and I finally decided to finish it. Lmk if you want a part two. 

“JJ, stop. Not tonight, I can’t do this tonight.” You mumbled as you rubbed your hands together. You had gotten off a tough shift and the last thing you wanted to be doing was going head to head with JJ in another argument. 

“Why not? We can’t keep pushing shit under the rug!” JJ said raising his eyebrows at you. 

“Babe, I’m tired, you look tired, and I’m sure the Pogues would rather not hear another fight.” 

“Well maybe if you would tell me what was going on with you, I haven’t heard from you in three days! You just show up here like nothing happened. I get it you have your episodes, but I was worried. Where were you?” JJ pushed. 

“I was working, my phone has been off for the past few days. I needed some quality me time. It was nothing personal and you know that.” You mumbled, rubbing your sore, aching back. 

“Yeah, yeah. Nothing personal whatever! I’m your boyfriend. If you can’t let me know what’s happening maybe we shouldn’t be together, hmm, what do you think about that?!” JJ screamed. 

“I think you’re being dramatic, it isn’t that serious Bub.” You said taking a step to him. 

“No, you don’t need to come closer. We’re done.” He said stepping out of the Chateau, while slamming the door. 

You sighed, and ran your fingers through your hair. This had been a recurring thing, every fight JJ would leave. This time it was different, he ended things. You watched with tears in your tired eyes as he sped away on his bike. 

You decided to just call it a night and went to head towards your car. 

“Y/N, hey where you going?” John B yelled. 

“I’m going to head home, just not feeling too well today.” 

“Where’d JJ go?” Kie asked. 

“None of my concern anymore, I guess.” You mumbled wiping another tear. 

“Hey, wait what?” Pope questioned as you shut your door. 

“I’ll see you guys when I see you, but JJ will always need you guys more just like you’ll always need him more.” You smiled sadly and drove off. 

................................................................................................................................ 

It had been weeks of the pogues trying to meet up with you and trying to call or text, but all of their attempts were left unanswered. 

You’d started working more at a new shop that opened up and they of course never shopped there since they’d prefer to get their surf gear from a local shop and not a corporate one. You quit the wreck and apologized to Kie’s parents. You changed your number so you didn’t have to feel guilty about the numerous messages you were ignoring, but your hopes for the guilt to go away were unanswered it was still very much there. 

“Hey, Y/N. There’s some people here to see you.” Your mom said as she opened your door slightly. 

“I’m not feeling too well, can you have them come by another day?” You questioned as you rubbed your eyes. 

“I’ll let them know.” She said smiling sadly. 

You stared at the picture of you and the Pogues and threw it on the ground. No need for it to be on your bedside table anymore. 

Your bedroom door opening startled you and looked up with wide eyes at John B. 

“Hey it’s just me.” He said softly. 

“I’m not feeling well.” You mumbled looking away. 

“Y/N you’re like my sister. I know you. You’re not sick, you’re sad.” He said as he sat next to your frame. 

“JB I can’t, JJ needs you.” You said with a break in your voice. 

“I think you need me more.” 

You looked at him with tears in your eyes as he pulled you into a hug. 

“I-I can’t. I’m so sorry.” You sobbed.  

“Shh, let us in. You can’t block us out forever.” 

“I love J, I just can’t end up like my mom and my dad. They constantly fought, dad turned abusive, left and felt a better family. I can’t do that with him! JB I can’t!” You said through hysterics. 

“Hey, hey it’s okay,” he said pulling you on his lap and rubbing up and down your back.

“You and J won’t end up like them I promise. Things just got complicated. There were a lot of stressors for everyone and JJ took it out on the wrong person.” He said, rocking slightly.

You stifled a sob and leaned further into him.

“Are you hungry? Sarah said she’s drop some food off with your mom. I told her I was gonna spend the night.”

“I’m okay.” You mumbled quietly.

“I’m gonna get you some food I know you haven’t been eating like you should.”

You sighed and let your mind race as you listened to your best friend’s breathing.

................................................................................................

“I’m just gonna sit this here. Thank you John B. She really needed this.” Your mom said smiling at the boy.

“Of course, Ms. Y/L/N. She’d do the same for me so I have to do the same for her. She’s the little sister I never had.” He smiled back.

Your mom smiled and placed the food down and left the room.

“Okay Y/N/N, come on time to eat,” he mumbled into your hair quietly.

You sighed and leaned away from his chest.

“Got you some chicken parm. I know it’s your favorite.”

You gave a soft smile and grabbed the takeout box he was offering. 

“Get a movie and put it on please. We’re going to eat and talk and then go to sleep. Okay?” He asked.

You sighed and nodded as he left the room.

He walked back in with TV trays and set them up and then moved the food onto them.

You put Hercules in and smiled as you sat back down.

“Alright so why did you decide to leave? No contact, no response, nothing.”

“I-“ you started and set your fork down. “I couldn’t let JJ have the option to not be with you guys. I know when he starts spiraling he needs someone. He needs them in those first few days or weeks. When I spiral I don’t even realize I am, so I just handle it when I notice. I could help myself but JJ needed your guys’ support.”

“You need our support too. When you’ve spiraled in the past I’ve always been here. You can’t place JJ’s happiness above your own. You can’t fix JJ while you are falling apart.” John B said biting into his burger.

“You were there after I handled it for a while I got through the bad. Just needed the last few pieces put back together. JJ deserves you guys. I can’t keep him from you. I can’t make him choose to see me with you guys or just not come around. If it came down to me or JJ needing to leave the group it would have to be me.” You said sadly.

“You can’t do that. Listen if it was you or JJ it would be both of you. We would split our time. But that’s not the case. JJ came back that night devastated you were gone. Screaming and crying. He tried to break everything he could, he knew he messed up. He wants to fix it.” John B sighed.

“I can’t promise I’ll take him back immediately, it’s not the same anymore. There’s things we both could fix and that’s not gonna happen with the relationship we have. I can’t be the reason why, if JJ and I were to get married and have kids, that my kids have emotional trauma from seeing a parent be verbally abusive to the other. JJ and I are borderline abusive now.” You said fighting back tears.

“Y/N/N. You won’t end up like your dad. Okay?”

“John B I’m not saying I would I just don’t want that to be the course that could happen. Taking a break will be good for us. I’m not saying I won’t try, because believe me I will. JJ is it for me and I know that.” You said pushing your plate away.

“You wanna go surfing with them tomorrow and have a marsh day?”

You nodded and gave him your new number to put in a group chat with them.

“You aren’t gonna eat anymore?”

You shook your head.

“Haven’t been too hungry lately.” You sighed and gave your attention to Hercules.

................................................................................................

“Wake up, sleepy.” John B said shaking you.

“Leave me alone JB. It’s too early.”

“We’re going surfing for sunrise.”

You sighed getting up and seeing it was 4:50am.

You pulled your closet open and pulled out a bathing suit and a pair of shorts and a tank top.

“Did you bring stuff?” You questioned.

He nodded his head.

“You can change in here, I’ll be in the bathroom gotta make myself look semi-approachable.” You said as you shut your bathroom door.

You stripped off your old clothes and quickly shaved and showered. Washed your face, brushed your teeth, did your hair, and finally pulled your swimsuit on. You sighed at your reflection noticing the spots that were thinner. You just decided to throw your tank top on and find different shorts to wear.

“Hey you ready?” John B questioned.

“Yeah one sec. Need to find my swim shorts.” You said digging through your closet.

You found them and slipped them on and followed John B out of your room.

Scribbling a note to your mom you left and took your car to the Chateu to grab the Twinkie and JB’s board.

“You ready to see him?” He questioned.

“Absolutely not, but it is what it is.” You said with a small laugh.

He nodded as you began your drive to the beach.

You arrived after what felt like years but was really only a few minutes. You could see Kiara and Pope but no signs of JJ.

You prepared yourself and grabbed your wetsuit and board and followed JB.

“Heyy.” You said awkwardly scratching your arm.

Kiara pulled you into a hug and Pope quickly followed.

“Don’t do that again.” She scolded.

You sighed and nodded.

“We have a lot of catching up to do. But we can surf and have our day first.” Pope smiled.

You nodded as they rushed out to the water with their boards. You slowly put your wetsuit on and allowed John B to zip it.

“Don’t freak but JJ just got here.”

You nodded and turned to the boy.

“Hey.” He said softly.

“Hi.”

“I’m sorry. I know it was wrong, you had a lot on your plate and I shouldn’t have yelled at you. Guess we just know the right buttons to press.” He said sadly.

“I’m sorry too. I should’ve give you an explanation and not just expected you to understand. I do think it’s best we stay apart for a while. Fix ourselves and then maybe try again if it’s feeling like the right time and everything feels right.” You said.

“I agree.”

You smiled and led the way to surf with your friends.

[quickspinner]

Ruin It

Another one for the @lovebugs-and-snakecharmers sprint challenge! The prompt was:  

Person A: Listen I don’t want to ruin our friendship but I really want to kiss y-- Person B: Ruin it

The challenge rules are 3 15-minute writing sprints and 24 hours to edit. I took a little extra editing time because it was late by the time I finished and I didn't want to do anything stupid for lack of sleep. Also, I sprinted everything from the phrase "Ruin It" onwards and then ended up adding a ridiculous number of words to put together the setup at the beginning as part of my "editing" phase and effectively doubled the length of what I originally sprinted. Hopefully it's not too complicated. I'm trying to re-embrace the thought that sprint fics don't have to complicated or polished; I've let myself get hung up on some things in the last few challenges, so this week was about just letting go.

ANYWAY I had sort of a childhood friends to lovers thought in mind as I wrote this, and I hope you enjoy! You can also check out the sprint challenge AO3 collection here to read this and other works. 

“I’ve always wanted to do that,” Marinette said enviously, watching a group of kids run along the top of the short stone wall framing the park. 

“Why haven’t you?” Luka asked. “It’s not very high.” He gestured to where the wall ended in graduated steps down to the ground. “Wouldn’t be hard to get up on it, either.”  

She gave him a look. “Because I’m a grown-up.”

Luka snorted. “Says who?” A woman some distance from them called out “Lunch!” and kids jumped off the wall, cheering as they ran off. Luka grinned and took her hand, tugging her up off the blanket they’d been sitting on. “Come on.”

“Luka!” she laughed, but didn’t resist as he towed her to the wall. “What if a patrol sees us?” 

“What are they going to do, fine us?” Luka rolled his eyes, and flashed her a wicked grin that she somehow felt in her bones. “They can put it on my tab.” He held Marinette’s hand as she stepped up on the low part of the wall, and then he walked alongside it as she stepped up to the next highest piece, and then the next, raising his hand at every level to keep hold of hers. The wall was only about waist-height on Luka, but it felt huge to Marinette, standing on top of it. She giggled as she looked down at him. “Now you know how I feel walking next to you,” she teased. 

“Enjoy it while it lasts,” Luka laughed. When they reached a place where the wall dead-ended into the higher terrace beyond, Marinette carefully turned around, making sure to get a grip on Luka with her other hand before she let go with the one he’d been holding. The wall might not be all that high, but she had a habit of getting distracted at just the wrong moment, and no fall was better than even a short fall. With her luck, even a short fall would be dangerous.

Not that she was worried. Luka never let her fall. She gave him Luka a quick smile to let her know she was ready, and they began the walk back to the end with the graduated steps. “How do they expect kids not to climb on a wall when they make it this easy?” she asked, looking down at Luka with a laugh. 

Marinette had just taken the first step down when some yelling boys startled a flock of pigeons, sending them hurtling right towards the wall in their flight to higher ground. Startled, Marinette overbalanced, and with a yelp she began to topple, but Luka was already there, arms around her waist, half catching, half lifting her off the wall. Her flailing arms wrapped around his neck automatically and she clung to him for a heart-stopping moment where she thought they would both go over, but Luka’s grip on her was firm and his stance rock-solid. 

“You okay?” he asked, amusement in his voice. 

“Yeah,” she said into his hair, embarrassed. “Sorry.” 

Luka gave a quiet huff of amusement, head tilted back to look up at her, and Marinette pouted down at him. “Are you going to put me down?” she asked. 

“I don’t know,” Luka grinned. “Maybe I won’t. Maybe you’re safer like this.” 

She was tempted to kick him, but her dangling feet were level with his knees, rather than his shins, and she was afraid of hurting him. His grin widened at her predicament, but his eyes were full of affection, and she forgave him for laughing at her. She couldn’t help it. She wasn’t going to let him get away with it though. She just...needed a credible threat. Her frustration must have showed on her face because his breath fanned over his face as he laughed silently. Her eyes flicked down to his lips.

“Put me down or I’ll kiss you,” she threatened. “Then our friendship will be ruined forever and you’ll regret everything.” 

Luka’s eyes widened, and he immediately set her feet on the ground. Her grin of triumph faded at the look on his face. “That’s not funny, Marinette,” he muttered, ducking out of her arms and taking a few steps away. 

Marinette blinked, and then bit her lip. “Sorry. Sorry, that was stupid.” She wrapped her arms around herself and backed up, sitting down on one of the lower steps of the wall. “Luka, I didn’t mean it. I wouldn’t be that stupid.” 

For a moment, he said nothing. Marinette sat miserably waiting for him to work through whatever he was thinking about, calling herself ten kinds of idiot in her head.

“Is that…” Her head jerked up as he spoke, but his back was still to her, and he seemed to be struggling to get the words out. “Is that something you think about?” 

Marinette frowned. “What?”

“Kissing me,” he clarified, without turning. “Ruining our friendship?”

“Oh.” Marinette felt heat rush into her cheeks. She was really in it now. How could she have let that slip? “Well...sometimes, yeah. I know it’s stupid, you haven’t seen me that way since we were kids, and I don’t want to ever screw up our friendship. Just—” Just what? How could she admit to him that sometimes the light caught the angles of his face just right, and she couldn’t take her eyes off him. That sometimes he would catch her staring and his lips would curve in a questioning smile and she couldn’t think about anything else for days afterwards. How could she admit even a fraction of what she felt for him, without making things weird?

Weird- er . She’d already managed weird. Damn it.  

“Just?” he prompted. 

Marinette squirmed uncomfortably. “It’s not a big deal. Just, sometimes I think about kissing you. And then I think what a stupid idea it is and I know you haven’t seen me that way since we were kids, and I’d never actually do it because it would ruin every—” 

Luka turned around and took a quick step towards her. “Ruin it.” 

Marinette blinked. “Wh-what?” 

“Ruin it,” Luka repeated, taking another step. “Do it. If tearing down what we have means building something new with you then give me the fucking hammer and let’s go.” 

Marinette stared at him, hardly believing what she was hearing. “You’d...you’d give up everything we have,” she said, tone going accusing. “For a kiss?”

“No,” he said, kneeling in front of her to take her hands. “I’d give up everything we have for a chance. What do we have, Marinette, that can’t be made better? If you want to kiss me, and I want to kiss you, if we both want more than what we have, then why shouldn’t we try?” 

“Because—” Marinette floundered. “Because what if it all went wrong, and then we couldn’t—couldn’t talk to each other anymore, and, and we’d be—” She frowned. “Wait, you want to kiss me?” 

“Every damn day,” he told her earnestly. “Every time you eat a macaroon or steal my coffee or laugh or pout or—pretty much anything, really.”   

Oh shit , she thought, taking in the tight lines of his face, the steady, intense gaze of his eyes. He’s serious . “But…” Marinette’s head whirled. “But—Luka, what if—If everything went wrong—I wouldn’t have anyone to—what would I do without you, Luka?” she practically wailed.

“What if you never had to find out?” he asked, reaching up to cradle her face with one hand. “What if it didn’t go wrong, Marinette? What if I could love you without holding back? What if we weren’t spending so much energy trying not to want each other? Is that what’s been holding you back, all this time? As if you could ever lose me, after all we’ve been through.” 

Marinette stared at him, speechless. Of course he knew , she thought numbly. It was Luka. But she didn’t know, or didn’t let herself know that she knew, and her reality was reeling. 

Luka let his hand fall from her face, and wrapped both of his hands around hers instead, his voice soft and coaxing and full of a hope that made her ache. “Ruin it, Marinette. We’ll make something new out of it. It might not be the same, but I’ve seen the things you create and I’m not afraid. Whatever we become, it’ll be something we made together. How could something like that be bad?” He took a breath, and looked up at her. His hands were shaking, she realized. “So ruin it.” He grinned. “Hell, ruin me , I don’t mind. I love being your friend, but...I want to see what else we can make together.” 

She’d never seen his eyes like this, she thought numbly as she stared back at him. She thought she knew him so well, just like he knew her. She’d never been able to read him the way he read her, but she thought...she thought she knew him. She didn’t know this , the intensity, the pleading, the...desperation. She didn’t know this part of him. The part that wanted . Luka didn’t crave things. Luka let things come and go, he didn’t get worked up over things. Luka was willing to take what you gave him and be content. Luka was a passionate person, sure, but not ambitious. He didn’t want things. 

He wanted her. This was the first time that she’d ever seen how much...that he’d let her see how much. She should have been frightened, she thought. It should have scared her to see him looking at her with so much earnestness. It was terrifying, when it was anybody else.

But this was Luka, and how could she be scared of Luka? How could she, when he’d finally dared to ask for what he wanted? Not because he couldn’t stand it any longer but because she had finally admitted, to him and to herself, that she wanted it too.  

Just like that she knew she had passed the boundary whether she meant to or not. She would break Luka’s heart in this moment if she refused him, and her own in the process. Their friendship wouldn’t be the same after this. They would have to make something new, one way or another. She could turn him down, and hope that the awkward would pass over time. Hope that he could forgive her for being a coward. 

But…

She thought she knew him, but now she could see how much he was holding back. She wanted that secret knowledge of him, the part of himself he kept hidden away. She wanted his secret passions and his dreams and the things he treasured up in his heart. Not to take, but to receive, to be given freely, to earn each one with the steadiness of her...love.

Love.

Marinette looked down at their hands in her lap. Slowly she moved her hands so that they were clasping his. He was silent now, waiting. How long had he been waiting for her? When she leaned forward, Luka closed his eyes and tilted his head to meet her, but he didn’t move beyond that until her lips pressed, trembling and tentative, into his. Only then did he move with her, press into her, his hands tightening on hers so hard it almost hurt. She moved his hands to her hips and then carded her own fingers through his hair as they kissed and kissed again. 

She loved him, and she was terrified as she finally let herself realize how much, but…this was Luka. 

Luka never let her fall. 

Fiction Master Post

[lvyu]

pairing ➞ smp, dreamwastaken x reader

note ➞ re.. repost because old blog went poof and i need to link the full to the original, so if you saw this twice then that’s why (this is an incomplete version and more of a brainstorm)

imagine being his partner during the events of the dream smp, helping him build up his little kingdom. it starts out wonderful, relationship wise, though there are difficult nights where he comes home exhausted and just needy for your touch.

he wasn’t too keen on being affectionate in public, but the stress of meeting new people and building up a community definitely lowered his dislike for it— or at least made him more willing.

once he came back from building this new place with sapnap and george, bad and you were left at the community home to do some chores. it was well into the night when they returned, sapnap and george immediately collapsing on the nearby beds (which you really should move soon), whilst dream made his way over to you, immediately wrapping his arms around you once close enough.

the gesture was unexpected, but appreciated and reciprocated regardless.

and eventually, new people started to appear and of course, dream welcomes them– they don’t pose a threat. until they do.

the people of l’manberg, as they call themselves, start to go against rules and soon a war erupts. you were never really a person for violence, so naturally you offered to try to reason with them. yet, they stood their ground, they demanded freedom and independence.

“should we just ... let them have it? dream, it’s only a small piece of land and technically they’d still be under our rule...”

oh, of course, the first mistake.

dream didn’t see it the same way you did, causing the first real arguement between the two of you. the others had been just joking or about a petty matter, but that... that one felt different, almost as if it was sealing a promise. the next night he came to your room and laid next to you, hoping you were asleep, though you weren’t.

“this isn’t easy” he spoke. you shifted onto your side to face him, bringing your hand up to cradle his cheek. he so rarely took off his mask when not in private, though he was so beautiful, really.

“..‘m sorry” he hummed in response.

the rest of the war was... a complicated time.

you didn’t bring up a possible compromise with l’manberg again, instead having to sit back and watch as one of their own betrayed them. though eret was a kind man, power was more valuable in this world than any amount of kindness.

out of pity, you visited the citizens of l’manberg. tommy’s immediate reaction was to yell at you, saying how you were a spy and a wronging. wilbur calmed him down and welcomed you, though keeping you out of the walls.

“i’m not one for wars, wilbur. surely you know that.” you tried to explain.

“they’re with dream! fucking dream—”

wilbur held up a hand, sending tommy into an abrupt stop.

“i know you’re not.”

they still weren’t very trusting, but wilbur, against tommy’s wishes, showed you the places near l’manberg. more specifically, niki and jack’s place, which they still considered l’manberg though technically outside of the walls. niki and you got along quite well, both a little hesitant about the war, though her a little less than you.

the day of eret’s betrayal was difficult for them, four of them losing a life. four of which you considered to be good friends by then. tubbo and tommy being so young too... they shouldn’t have had to suffer that, they shouldn’t have to go through any of this. none of them should have to.

it wouldn’t hurt to question him about it, you thought. it’d only been a couple hours since the incident and your heart still ached a little. “hey dream?”

“m, yeah, my love?” he was happy, you could tell he was happy– after murder.

you took a deep breath, getting his attention. “you okay? i know you’re not one to condone... violence, but i thought you’d be happier that we’ve won this battle.”

“dream...” you grabbed one of his hands he‘d laid the table, squeezing tightly.

“what... why... who was it?”

he paused. “who was what?”

“who did you kill? sapnap told me earlier each one of you took on one– and don’t get mad at him, i bugged him about for a while. he was pretty resilient.” a small laugh left his lips.

a few seconds passed before he spoke up. “it was tommy.”

he felt you squeeze tighter, almost feeling guilty for doing this to you. “i’m—”

“i love you, so, so much. d’you know that, dream?” you whispered, any louder and you felt you would have lost yourself. he nodded, mumbling a me too. there was a hint of sadness to your tone, and if he didn’t know you he’d think you were just being a loving partner. “and i think it’s my bedtime, so goodnight.”

a feeling of loneliness creeped on him, growing the quieter your footsteps got until they simply stopped. he brushed his right hand over his left, trying to feel whatever warmth you had left behind. so warm, he thought to himself, closing his eyes and letting himself get lost in a fantasy.

a fantasy including you happily standing by his side looking over a beautiful world you’ve built, and he promised himself he’d make that fantasy a reality someday.

you struggled to make amends with the citizens of l’manberg after the final control room. the look on tubbo’s face when he first saw you again would forever haunt you. he wasn’t a fragile porcelain doll to be taken care of, only making his reaction even more concerning. almost immediately he froze, tightening his hold on the documents he was carrying.

“y-you... um...” he was keeping himself close and far from you. it was subtle, but you noticed it nonetheless.

“tubbo! have you seen wilbur?”

he looked at the documents and back to you. “caravan...”

you offered a smile to ease his worries and thanked him. the moment you lifted your hand to wave goodbye, he flinched and backed away, hiding his face. your smile quickly turned into a look of worry.

... he didn’t deserve to feel like that.

“hey, i didn’t mean to– i’m sorry, hey, you okay?” he nodded, making a joke about it and walking off before you could stop him, still holding the documents close.

tommy was a different situation, he reverted back to his loud and aggressive self. fundy didn’t know you as well, but his actions and feelings were heavily influenced by those of his friends and father. niki and jack, not being the ones to suffer most the day, still remained friendly with you, but more cautious.

and wilbur... wilbur thought it’d be best for everyone if you were cut off from him— the leading man of l’manberg.

he wasn’t to blame, none of them were, and you knew that, but you couldn’t help but feel alone when they rejected you. they were just trying to protect themselves.

dream was a smart man, but not one known to be truthful, not even to himself.

[lost-in-the-80s]

Fake Date

Pairing: Dave Mustaine x fem!reader

Words: 1,965k

Summary: You and Dave have been friends with benefits since forever, but to help Junior out, you guys agree on pretending to be a couple, going on a double date with him. (smut)

A/N: I’m not sure if this is good or not because it has been in my drafts for a while, but anyway, I hope you guys like it :)

Warnings: Mature content (f i n g e r s)

“You want us to do what!?” Y/N asked, her eyes widened while Dave choked on his beer beside her.

“Just for one night, it will be just one hour, two in max.” Junior tried to defend his plan.

“No way!” Dave managed to say, still trying to calm down.

“I swear it’s the only time you’ll have to do it!”

“Why do you want us to do it so bad?” She asked, getting up and walking towards the ginger’s kitchen to get something to eat.

“Ah, you don’t understand.” Junior sighed. 

“Then explain,” Dave instructed. 

“Every time Julie comes around Y/N’s here, she confronted me about it and I told her she had nothing to worry about, but she wouldn’t listen to me, so I told her that she shouldn’t be worried because the two of you were dating.” He gesticulated with his hands, trying to make them understand his point.

“You said what?” Both of them said at the same time. 

“Then she got all excited about it and said that we should go on a double date, and I tried, I swear that I tried to make her change her mind, but she fucking wants to do it.” He sighed, looking at the ground.

“If we do this, you’re gonna owe us big time!” Dave said, pointing his finger at the blonde. 

“Exactly,” Y/N shouted from the kitchen. 

“Come on, it’s not as if you guys had never kissed each other.” 

It was true, and to be honest, the two of them had done many more things than just kissing. Y/N and Dave knew each other way before Megadeth, they met in 1980, and even though they were just friends, in the beginning, the sexual tension between them had always been out of the roof, so it didn’t take them too long to engage in a “friends with benefits” kind of relationship.

And even though both of them hated to admit, what they felt for each other stopped being just attraction a long time ago. Now they’d sleep together after sex, cuddling against each other and talking sweet nothings while doing it. Sometimes, they’d be doing something random, like talking, and then would start kissing, even in front of others. When one was sick, the other moved mountains to help, and they had even got into fights with strangers for each other, but the two of them were too proud to ever say anything about it. 

And as Dave liked to think: “You don’t have a problem if you pretend it doesn’t exist.” 

That was his excuse when Junior talked to him about Y/N a few weeks before the date. He thought the metaphor wasn’t the best, but he understood his friend, Dave always hated complicated things, mainly because he knew he was complicated himself, and he feared that if they spoke up about it, it would become complicated and it wouldn’t work out anymore. 

And so here they were, Junior and Julie sat on a bench in front of Dave in a restaurant, all of them waiting for Y/N, who, as per usual, was late. The ginger played anxiously with the ring in his finger while he silently thought about how weird it would be for them to pretend that they were a normal couple. 

Wait, a normal couple? His conscience teased him. 

We are a couple…. I think? I mean, we hadn't seen anyone else for almost a year now… He tried to defend himself.

Then why are you so fucking worried? His mind fought back, but he had no time to reply because the center of his thoughts entered the place. 

She was wearing a leather skirt and a white button-up shirt, with lots of opened buttons, revealing a lot of her skin and making it obvious that she wasn’t wearing any bra. She walked elegantly on her high heels until she reached the table, a warm smile on her lips. 

Fuck, it’s almost as if she's teasing me. Dave thought to himself as he got up, adjusting his jeans to try to make his now-forming bulge less visible. 

“Hey, baby.” She leaned in, giving his lips a quick kiss before she turned towards the other couple. “Hey guys, how are you?”

“Hey, Y/N! We’re good.” Junior answered, giving her a quick side hug before moving out of the way so that Julie and Y/N could hug. 

“I loved your necklace.” Julie complimented, smiling before they all sat down, Y/N sitting next to Dave.

“Ah, thank you! It’s my favorite one. Dave gave me some years ago” She smiled, touching the golden accessory that she never took off.

“I’m sorry for dragging you guys here with us. It’s just that, we saw each other just twice?” Anne looked at Y/N, who only nodded in response. “And I really wanted to get to know you better.” 

“Oh, it’s fine! Dave and I were actually thinking about going out tonight anyway.” She touched his thigh, asking for support on her story.

“Yeah, we try to always go out on Fridays.” 

“That’s a nice tradition! For how long have you guys been together?” 

Dave cleared his throat before answering. “Little more than a year. We were just friends before.” 

“Aw, so it started with a friendship? That’s so sweet!” 

A waiter showed up, asking what they wanted to eat. 

“I’ll have spaghetti,” Junior said, handing his menu to the man in front of him. 

“And for the lady?” The man asked, looking at her.

“I’ll have this chicken salad, please.” 

The man nodded, turning towards the other two. 

“Steak and fries,” Dave looked towards Y/N. “for you too right?” 

She nodded. 

“Two steaks with fries then.”

“Anything to drink?”

“Yes, bring us two cokes, please.” She handed him their menu before resting her back on the bench, feeling Dave’s fingers slightly playing with her shoulder as his arm rested on the back of the bench.

They knew each other well enough to ask for each other, in fact, they had the same tastes and thoughts on basically everything, and this similarity was the main reason for their feelings towards each other. 

“And who spoke up first?” Julie asked.

“It was me,” Dave answered, making a small pause to find a story to fill in.

“We went to a party, got drunk and ended up spilling our guts.” She finished for him. 

Pretty believable, coming from the two of us. He thought.

Soon the food arrived and they all started eating, talking about Megadeth and how excited they were to go on a second tour together, but as soon as the food was over, Y/N felt Dave’s hand resting on her thigh. It stayed there for a good while and she was almost sure that he had done it on reflex, but then his hand started to travel upwards, making her give him a glare, to which he just smirked. 

Dave’s hands wandered underneath her skirt, finding her panties very easily. He ran his calloused fingertips against its fabric, seeing how a mix of despair and lust filled her eyes.

“And how did you two met?” Y/N asked, hoping that they would spend time enough talking, knowing that she would be too distracted to talk back for a while.

“Oh yeah, I was at this record shop…” 

She kept on talking, but Y/N stopped listening to anything as soon as Dave slid her panties to the side and started running his finger up and down in between her folds, feeling how it soon started to get wet. 

She sighed slowly, but upended her legs further, giving him better access. 

“You know those things you put money inside? Damn, I forgot the name.” Julie asked, rubbing her forehead to try to remember. 

“Cash register?” Y/N managed to say before one of Dave’s fingers entered her core, going slowly in and out of her, making her bite her bottom lip.

“Yes! Cash register!” Julie giggled, keeping on telling her story. “I couldn’t open it, and then David came and helped me, we started talking, and look at us now.” She smiled, looking tenderly to the blonde beside her.

“That’s a very good story,” Y/N answered quickly, one of her hands gripping on the table as it got difficult for her to talk normally.

“You know, Julie, Y/N used to work at a record shop too! Why don’t you tell Julie some stories?” Dave asked, his smirk growing as he inserted another finger inside of her, making her close her eyes tightly while her mouth opened slightly.

“Really?” Julie asked, looking really interested. 

“Ye-Yeah! For an… for a year or so.”

As soon as she started talking, Dave curled his fingers inside of her, causing her a lot of concentration to finish her quote. 

“Which record shop?”

Dave found her sweet spot, hitting it with his finger a few times, making her legs close tightly on reflex.

“Hm… which one?” She grabbed his free hand on top of the table, gripping tight at it.

“Yeah.”

“The na-… one with… I- I don’t remember the name.”

“Oh, that’s a shame,” Julie said before taking a sip of her water.

Dave hit her g-spot a few more times, making her close her eyes as she felt her walls clenching for the orgasm that was about to hit her, but he removed his finger before she could reach her climax, making her give him a mortal glare. 

“Wow, it’s getting late!” Julie said, looking at the watch. “I should go, I have to work tomorrow.” She smiled. 

“Yeah, let’s go. I’ll drive you home.” Junior smiled, getting up. 

“What do you think, love? Let’s go too?” Dave asked.

“Yeah, sure!” 

All of them got up going towards the cashier to pay, and when the others weren’t looking anymore, Dave sucked his fingers clean before turning towards Y/N and whispering in her ear. “God, I love dessert.” 

She smirked, before looking down and realizing that he had a very noticeable bone inside his pants, and so she realized that he wouldn’t leave her hanging after all. 

Exiting the place, Junior turned towards Dave. “Will you come with us, or….”

“I’ll spend the night at Y/N’s, don’t worry.” 

They all said their goodbyes and Junior opened the passenger door for Julie, closing it when she entered the car before walking back to his friends. “I know exactly what you were doing.” 

Y/N shrugged before Dave got a cigarette from his jacket's pocket while saying: “I couldn’t help it. Sorry mate!” 

Junior rolled his eyes, but went back to his car, turning on the engine and leaving the parking lot. 

“That was not nice of you.” She turned towards him, taking the cigarette from his lips and bringing it to hers.

“Are you sure? ‘Cause, it was damn nice to me.” He smirked, both hands circling her waist to bring her closer to him. 

She put the cigarette in between her fingers, blowing out some smoke on his face, seeing the lust that sparkled in his eyes. 

Leaning in, she whispered in his ear: “You won’t find it so nice when you’re the one being teased.” 

Her words making a shiver ran down his spine. “Are you going to tease me?” He asked near her ear.

“Oh, I will…” Her voice an octave lower, soft like velvet. “But you won’t know when, or where, you’ll just realize it when it’s already done.” 

He smirked, taking the cigarette from her hand and taking a long drag of it,  he looked up, blowing the smoke away before leaning in and kissing her. Her hands finding the back of his neck while their tongues started a battle against each other. 

“How about we finish this in my place?” She asked when they pulled apart, taking the cigarette to her lips again.

“Sounds like a plan.” He smirked.

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Thanks for reading <3

[sickofthistoxicshit]

So this is a way Way overdue prompt that I got ages ago, but didn't have the time or muse-cooperation to write.

But I finally managed to write it!!

The prompt was given to me by the lovely @coffeeflavoredcookies : Chris all snuggled up to Buck as he tells him bedtime stories with Eddie standing at the door looking at them fondly.

This is fluff all the way, hope you like it ❣

-

The house was dimly lit when he got back, at this point Christopher would have usually already been in bed - post bedtime story.

But Buck has been staying the last few days with them after getting hurt on a call. Nothing too bad, mild concussion, some bruised ribs and a now relocated shoulder still stuck in a sling, so things aren't exactly on the normal side.

Buck had trouble understanding Eddie’s insistence that he stays with them, not wanting to be a burden (earning him an eye-roll from Eddie) and reminded him that he shouldn’t have to look after a grown-ass man while having an actual child of his own to take care of, (which resulted in Eddie calling Christopher and asking him, on speaker, what he thought of Buck staying with them for the next few days. Christopher cheered and Buck glared at Eddie, mouthing ‘traitor’ at him.)

The thing is, Buck seems to be unable to understand that whenever he’s hurt, physically or emotionally or just generally off-balance, Eddie is thrown to a loop right with him. Eddie would rather have him near and safe than wonder how he is, if he’s sleeping, eating - taking care of himself.

Back when his leg was crushed, so close to losing Shannon, Eddie was very close to saying to hell with Ali and then Maddie and just take him over to their place.

But Buck wasn't his to keep back then, and to be honest he's not his now, but Ali is long gone and Maddie is super pregnant, giving Eddie the best excuse to bundle him into his truck and take him home.

Sore and tired, Buck mostly slept, crashing on the couch, no matter how many times Eddie tried to get him to crash in the master bedroom, at least during the day.

Eddie got used to returning home from work to find Christopher sitting in the living room either doing his homework or playing or watching TV while Buck slept on the couch. Sometimes Christopher could be found nestled to Buck's side as they both nodded off watching some nature documentary.

Eddie has an album in his phone containing multiple pictures of his boys together. He will never get tired of snapping pictures of them, moments frozen in time, forever.

Eddie took his shoes off at the door and dropped his bag next to them. He showered at the station so he wouldn't waste time with Christopher in favor of washing the day off, he quickly rinsed his hands with soup, a habit left from crazed Covid days, then went in search of his boys.

The house was quiet, and the normally occupied couch was empty. Eddie made his way to Christopher’s room, already recognizing Buck’s low gravel voice, reading what sounded like “I Had Trouble in Getting to Solla Sollew”, Buck got Christopher the book a couple of weeks prior to his injury.

He told Christopher that Maddie used to read it to him when he was younger. They read it so many times, that both of them knew it by heart at one point. This is the first time he got to read it to him, if Eddie is not mistaken.

Eddie quietly made his way to the bedroom and stopped to lean on the door frame, taking in the sight in front of him. Christopher was lying in bed snuggled up against Buck’s uninjured side, he was already fast asleep, but Buck kept reading quietly leaning against the headboard.

“Then I dreamed I was sleeping on billowy billows

Of soft silk and satin marshmallow-stuffed pillows.

I dreamed I was sleeping in Solla Sollew,

On the banks of the beautiful River Wah-Hoo,

Where they never have troubles. At least very few.”

Eddie was so caught up in the cute picture presented before him, that he hadn't noticed Buck’s stopped reading and turned welcoming eyes on him, “Hey Eds.” he greeted with a soft smile.

“Hey Buck.” Eddie greeted back with a smile, slowly making his way inside, gently detangling Christopher from Buck to lay him properly on the pillow, and freeing Buck to rise and stretch carefully.

The blonde nodded gratefully at his friend, with a last look down at Christopher, he smiled and left Eddie to tuck Christopher in safely and say goodnight. Eddie’s eyes followed Buck as he left the room, making sure he’s steady on his feet and also because he couldn’t really look away.

When Buck was out and on his way to the living room Eddie turned around, pressed a kiss to Christopher’s forehead, turned on the nightlight and left the room, closing the door behind him.

Eddie noted Buck’s absence in the living room and followed the sounds to the kitchen, standing at the door, he inquired “Should you be without your sling?”

"Honestly, no." Buck admitted with a sheepish smile, "But my neck is killing me and doing everything one handed is driving me crazy." He complained, handing Eddie a beer and leaned back against the counter while drinking the Gatorade he started earlier.

“At least you’re not drinking beer.” Eddie rolled his eyes. Buck scoffed “I wanted to, Christopher said no.” he smiled at Eddie’s laugh.

“Sounds about right.” Eddie nodded. “Did Carla make dinner?”

Buck shook his head, “No, she had to leave early, I told her I got this.”

“Tell me you ordered dinner.” Eddie demanded.

“There are waffles and Eggs in the microwave for you.” Was Buck’s sole reply.

“You’re supposed to be resting.” Eddie protested with an exasperated look.

“I have been resting, Edmundo!” Buck rolled his eyes, “And I’ll go back to resting now that your kid is fed, ready for his day tomorrow and has fallen asleep in his own bed for a change.” Buck retorted and was about to move past Eddie when the latter grabbed the wrist of his good arm and turned him around, bringing him flush against Eddie’s body.

Faces a hairbreadth away from each other, Buck met Eddie’s eyes with a curious look, “You gonna teach me to dance Eds?”

“I thought you already knew how to dance, Ev.” Eddie replied with a soft smirk, voice barely beyond a murmur.

“Hmm.. So wha..” Buck didn’t finish the rest of the sentence because Eddie’s lips were on his, and the finally in his head was so loud, it took him a second to sigh contentedly and kiss back.

Eddie’s hands strayed to Buck’s waist bringing him even closer as he maneuvered them carefully out of the kitchen and into the living room, stopping when the back of his knees hit the couch, his palms framing Buck’s face with one last kiss before breaking apart, chuckling at Buck’s protesting whine.

“What was that for?” Buck asked as Eddie rearranged the pillows on the couch before situating himself with his back to one side and reached to gently pull Buck down so he could lie back on Eddie’s broad chest, framed between his stretched forward legs.

Buck went pretty easily, not even questioning Eddie’s tactile display, it’s been known to happen, it just didn’t usually start with a kiss. Buck turned his head to one side looking up to meet Eddie’s eyes, Eddie’s brown eyes were soft and fond, Buck couldn’t help but smile back at him when Eddie offered him a grin.

Before Buck could open his mouth and ask again what’s going on, Eddie wrapped a long arm across Buck’s broad chest and threaded the fingers of his other hand with Buck’s, resting them on Buck’s stomach. “I’m done overlooking the pink elephant in the room.”

“Is that a veiled reference of your dislike for that shirt?” Buck quipped, squeezing Eddie’s hand reassuringly.

“That too.” Eddie played along, he really did hate that shirt, but Buck kept insisting it defined his muscles, which it did, but literally most of his size-down shirts already did that. “But also because coming home to the sight of you and Christopher every night, was pretty much wearing me down.”

Buck’s face broke into a smile that was a complicated mix of self-consciousness and contentedness, which Eddie found adorable, “So what broke you tonight?” Buck asked, bringing Eddie out of his reverie “I mean, it was a pretty standard evening in the Diaz household.” He pointed out with a teasing smile.

“You made sure Christopher fell asleep in his own bed.” Eddie said, chin resting on the top of Buck’s head gently.

“Well, It felt like some normalcy was needed.” Buck replied, his voice soft. “Both of us injured and out of commission in the short span of five months seemed to be taking a toll.”

“And the fact that you’re the one who managed to find a way to stir him back into the right direction is what broke me, I guess.” Eddie admired quietly, “That, and the cute picture you two presented when I got into the room.” He smiled, pressing a kiss to Buck’s temple who was blushing endearingly.

The moment was broken by an exhausted yawn from Buck, “Sorry, been a long day, and you’re too comfortable.” he accused jokingly.

“Bed?” Eddie suggested.

“You sure?” Buck asked, it’s not like they haven’t shared a bed before but this was semi-new territory. “I've already bonded with the couch, I’m good sleeping out here until we figure this out.”

Eddie rolled his eyes, “Bed.” he determined with a growl.

Buck chuckled amusedly as he rose carefully to his feet along with Eddie, “Caveman.” he teased.

Eddie shook his head with a laugh, “brat.” he retorted, pecking Buck’s lips before taking his hand and leading him to the master-bedroom.

***

That's it :) I hope you like it!! 💖💖

ps. That book Buck is reading to Christopher is a story my dad used to read to me and my sisters when we were youngers, we all know it by heart, to this very day. 🤗💕

[angel-tries-to-write]

No Control (epilogue)

Fandom: Assassin’s Creed Rating: General Pairing: Arno Dorian x fem!reader Word count: 1005 Genre: fluff

A little epilogue set after "Dead Kings DLC".

A few years have passed, you were back in Paris, standing in front of the desk at Assassin's headquarters, leaning heavily onto it and thinking about the next plans. Since you worked as the council's personal assistant, you had to be prepared for every meeting. That meant unfortunately more job and less free time, which was actually a good thing. You haven't heard a word from Arno, no one knew where exactly he was and you didn't have the time to look for him yourself.

Unbeknownst to you, Arno was climbing the stairs in the Assassin's Den just the moment you thought about him. He snuck there unseen by anyone, since there was actually no one. Everyone was busy somewhere else, so the entrance and the path to council's room was rather clear. Therefore, the former assassin used everything he had to sneak into the headquarters of the Brotherhood.

“(Y/n)” he called you softly and you jumped, startled and surprised. You were so busy with your work, that you didn't even hear him coming. “I am sorry, I did not mean to scare you” he gave you a weak smile.

“It is fine, I just did not expect anyone” you said, moving your notes and plans aside. “Come in.”

“I brought you something” Arno approached you and put the sword he was carrying on the desk.

“Is that...”

“The Piece of Eden. Yes. I have found it” he nodded and took his hood off. You could see he didn't look well. He was paler than usual and he had certainly lost some weight, but you were sure he used to look way worse.

“What happened?” you asked, taking his hand. He looked at you with extremely sad eyes. You pulled him lightly towards you and he came closer, lifted you by your hips and sat you on the desk. Then he leaned into a comfortable hug, his head on your shoulder, arms tightly entwined around your chest. You could tell he needed someone's closeness.

“Élise is dead. I failed to save her” he said quietly and you got breathless for a moment. Élise meant the world to him, no wonder he looked this bad. “She didn't listen to me and let Germain kill her. She was blinded by vengeance.”

“I am so sorry” you whispered, caressing his hair and back. You wanted to take some of his pain and help him somehow.

“I wanted to leave France forever, I thought I have nothing left, with her gone. Then some things have happened and I realized I have so much work to do. I need to make sure no one will end up like Élise. I decided to go back and try again to become the Assassin” he pulled away from you to look into your eyes. You gently wiped tears from his cheek, he did the same for you.

“I will speak to the council. They all agree that you are too valuable for us to simply let you go. When they hear that you understood our true mission, I am sure you will be welcomed back” you said, smiling warmly.

“That would be nice.”

“I missed you, Arno” you whispered after a moment of silence.

“I missed you too. I even thought... maybe the world without Élise isn't as terrible as I always thought. Maybe there is hope for me... for us?” he looked at you sheepishly.

“Oh, Arno” you smiled, deeply moved. “I have never stopped waiting for you, if this is what you ask.”

“Then you may stop now. I want to try to move on.”

“That is wonderful. Because I am also ready to move on” you said with a wide smile.

“What do you mean?” he asked and you started undoing your clothes. “Uhhh... are you sure I shall see this?”

“Like you haven't seen already” you smirked. Finally you managed to loose your clothes enough to expose skin. “Here” you said, showing the man your stomach.

“I don't see anything.”

“Lower.”

“Still nothing.”

“Exactly.”

“Wha- wait, you had a nasty scar there, if I remember correctly?” he finally realized what you were trying to tell him.

“Yes, I had” you laughed, fixing your clothes. “I have been quite busy since our last meeting. My mission turned out to be really fast, so I did not come back to Paris right away. I went to Masyaf, the old Assassin's fortress-”

“I know, I did my history homework” Arno interrupted you, only slightly annoyed.

“Sorry. So I went to Masyaf with the help of Turkish Brotherhood. I got access to the Apple of Eden that belonged once to great master assassin Altaïr Ibn-La'Ahad. I used it to heal my wound. I just wanted to get rid of the pain, but when I undressed to take a bath, I have found out that the scar was gone. And nothing hurt since then. I can finally live and use my full potential. So I spent the time mastering the things I wasn't capable of earlier” you explained.

“How about... the other stuff? I mean, how deeply did it heal you?” he asked hesitantly.

“I assume the missing part is still missing, so getting pregnant is still difficult. But at least it shouldn't kill me.”

“Good thing I already adopted a kid. Though it was more like he adopted me.”

“You adopted a kid? How did that even happen?” you raised your eyebrows with disbelief.

“It's a long and complicated story. But his name is Léon, I brought him to Paris and he wants to be an assassin, so you will meet him soon.”

“You are the most incredible man I have ever met” you smiled, looking at him with shining eyes.

“You are pretty awesome yourself” he answered, tucking your hair behind your ear.

“Shut up and kiss me already” you pulled him by his collar and he gladly obeyed. You had waited way too long to do that, yet you knew it was worth it. You had a whole new future ahead.

[tooruluv]

Tooru Oikawa x F!Reader ( part 11 )

❝ my love for him is much like winter, a skeleton for the world to see. too bad he never liked the cold. ❞

description: being the neighbor and lifelong best friend of tooru oikawa definitely had it’s perks. you were never an outcast, always had a seat at lunch, got into volleyball games for free. the problem was, however, that being in love with him outweighed those perks. you would never tell him that, though, even if it hurt like hell.

genre: best friends to lovers, angst, unrequited love, fluff if you squint hard enough

word count: 2,611

warnings/notes: the next part is the final part. i feel weird that it’s coming to an end! anyway, i hope you all enjoy. i do want to put a small warning because there is mention of a “crash” in this, but it is only a small part and not anything crazy. love you all! <3

tag list: @afuckingunicornn​​​​​​​​ @maii-flowers​​​​​​​​ @clandestinerays​​​​​​​​ @brownandchill​​​​​​​​ @readeretal​​​​​​​​ @wedojustbevibin​​​​​​​​ @shigarakiskitten​​​​​​​​ @shittykawaa​​​​​​​​ @saeranoppa​​​​​​​ @srirachibi​​​​​​​ @tpwkatsumu​​​​​​ @sempiternal-amour​​​​​​ @bokutos-h0e​​​​​​ @pinknugget​​​​​​ @intheawks​​​​​​ @tori218​​​ @seikamuzu​​​ @alexthe80swhore​​​ @ghostly-toastie​​ @bumbledunce​​ @pineapplelantern​​ @ella-solei​

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You had been spending a lot of time alone, again. To sort your thoughts, to avoid seeing Oikawa for the rest of the weekend, you didn’t know. Either way, you were laying in bed and contemplating how askew your life (your love life in particular) had become.

It never was this complicated before.

In fact, it still wasn’t very complicated.

You had been in love with Tooru Oikawa for as long as you could remember. And apparently, he loved you too. The problem was, he was being a dick. And he hadn’t even realized this “love” until very recently, if the man even knew what it felt like to be in love.

The answer should be incredibly easy: tell him you love him and be together. Because at the end of the day, he was the one you wanted.

Kuroo called you just then.

“Hello, hoodie.” He greeted through the phone. “I know you said you wanted some time to yourself today, but I’m bored.”

“Hello, Tetsurou Kuroo.”

“You sound sad.”

“Oh, you know, just another midlife crisis.” You told him. You didn’t even have the phone in your hand, the device on speaker laying beside your pillow.

“Midlife crisis? Aren’t you a bit young for those?”

“You don’t know how old I’ll be.”

He chuckled. It was short-lived, though, his tone turning serious. “Do you want to talk about it? Meet at the hill?”

“You actually want to listen to me rant about Oikawa?”

“Sure, why not? I told you that I was bored.” A movement behind the microphone. “I’m making sandwiches! Meet you there in 20.”

The hill was beautiful even in the daytime. The city life hectic and full of car horns and chatter below, yet it was quiet there. When you arrived, Kuroo was waiting on a blanket with a plastic bag of sandwiches.

“Now that I have the guest of honor,” He moved over so you could join him. “Tell me everything.”

And you did. You told him about how you have loved the volleyball captain, how you were going to tell him but somehow ended up finding out your best friend was gay, how Oikawa dated Sana, how Sana is cool as hell, how Oikawa had ignored you and broke every tradition and completely threw you off, how you got humiliated by said captain and then kissed by him, how you got drunk and made out, and you even told him how you met someone else who had saved you from drowning yourself multiple times, how confused you were.

Kuroo didn’t interrupt, didn’t ask questions. He just sat and listened until you were done. He gave you subtle nods of understanding during it, but that was more for your sake so you knew he was listening.

Once you finished, Kuroo finally asked a question.

“Okay, I think that there’s only one question I can ask.” He turned to you, eyes gleaming in the sun. “Is it really that complicated, or are you trying to make it complicated because you’re scared that actually going through with your feelings would change things even more?”

For that, you didn’t have an answer. You just stared at him, eyes staring into his as though he knew the answer you were searching for. Which he did.

“Kiss me.” Kuroo said suddenly.

Your eyes widened in confusion. You spluttered, “I don’t… why would I… what..”

“It’s for science.” He said, not once moving an inch from his spot.

You scoffed. “For science.”

“If you kiss me and feel either nothing or guilty, it means you want Oikawa and I was right.” Kuroo spoke as if he was giving a presentation and not literally asking you to kiss him. “If you kiss me and you like it and I’m a better kisser than Oikawa, looks like you have obtained a new and extremely good looking boyfriend.”

“You’re ridiculous.” You didn’t move from your spot, either. “I just. I don’t want to kiss you and leave you hanging or like… lead you on? I know that…”

“Babe, I’m literally asking you to kiss me.”

“I know but…”

“Seriously I’m not going to be mad or expect you to…”

You kissed him. You leaned forward and pressed your lips to his. He was sitting cross-legged, and you had put your hands on his knees to give you that extra height to reach him. It only took him a second of surprise before he kissed you back, hands immediately going into your hair and on your neck.

His lips were soft, softer than Oikawa’s. Kuroo was soft in general, his kisses small and many instead of long and passionate. His hands were hovering over your jaw when Oikawa’s were everywhere he was offered.

You were comparing him to Oikawa. You were the one who pulled back.

A breath of air. Your stomach churned.

“…So?” Kuroo asked, chest visibly showing his beating heart. “What did you think?”

“I think you’re a good kisser.” You smiled. “But…”

“But you feel bad?”

“No it’s not that.” You stayed beside him, looking at his hands in yours. You played with his fingers. “I was comparing. Like it was a competition.”

“Comparing me to Oikawa?” Kuroo nodded, thinking. He looked back to you, smile plastered on his lips. “Who’s better?”

“Don’t ask me that!” you threw his hands back into his lap.

“Oh, c’mon. I need to know.”

“Too different.” Was your only explanation.

“Can I tell my friend that you said I was better? He would literally pee himself in happiness.”

“Fine.”

Suzuki Sana arrived at Oikawa’s house that day. It was a quick visit, to give him back some things and get back a couple of things she had left at his. They may not have dated for long, but they had done… a lot. Even before.

“Sorry for bringing you into all of this.” Oikawa told her.

“I’m sorry for being your first girlfriend when your first girlfriend should’ve been the girl next door.” Sana replied.

The friendship between Tooru Oikawa and Hajime Iwaizumi was never complicated, at least between them. Oikawa was the flirty, arrogant, leader and Iwaizumi was the one who brought him back to earth when his head got too inflated. It had always been that way.

Even back when they were kids, just throwing around volleyballs and running around on the playground Iwaizumi was always the one.

When Iwaizumi first met him, Oikawa was standing on the playground’s monkey bars claiming to be the King of the Playground. Iwaizumi told him that he wasn’t and to let the other kids play. To which, young Oikawa replied “There is a princess in need of saving! Help me save her, Jester!”

The princess being you.

You sat in the circle tower on the playground by the slide, pretending to beg for help. Oikawa only left the monkey bars to come “save” you, bringing you down the slide with him. Iwaizumi was at his side, actually laughing when they all got stuck in the middle of the slide and having to scoot the rest of the way with their feet.

“What is your name, Jester?” Oikawa asked.

“Hajime Iwaizumi!”

“Iwa, you are now our friend!” Oikawa introduced you to him.

That was the start of it all, for the most part. After that, the three of you were inseparable, your parents easily greeting Iwaizumi’s into their Adult Friend Group. There were play dates, birthday parties, summer trips, long volleyball tournaments, all together. They say, “two’s company, and three’s a crowd”, but the three of you made nearly a perfect unit together.

Things were different now, full of weird unsolved emotions and secrets that are no longer secrets. And Iwaizumi was so tired.

“Hey, Oikawa.” Iwaizumi said during the end of practice. They had stayed back, practicing a little more just the two of them.

“Whoa, you called me my actual name.” Oikawa replied, grabbing the next ball from the basket. “What’s up?”

“Are you actually in love with her or did you just say that to make her feel better?” He paused. “Or to make yourself feel better?”

Oikawa froze in his spot, ball empty in his hand. His voice was the smallest Iwaizumi had ever heard it. “Why would you ask me that?”

“Because she’s been in love with you for forever, and you have never been in love before.” Iwaizumi said simply, shrugging. “I don’t want to see her hurt anymore.”

“Iwa.”

“Listen, all that I’m asking is do you actually love her?”

“Yes.” It was a fast response, quick and final. “I didn’t know it before, but I know I am now. I heard that she cried over me and I felt like digging my own grave. Whenever she smiles at me from the bleachers at the games, or when she fixes my tie, it makes me want to giggle like a little schoolgirl. I know you’re worried, I know that. But I’m trying to fix things. I’m trying to make up for a lot of lost time I didn’t even realize I was missing.”

Oikawa looked back to the ball. “She hasn’t told me herself that she’s in love with me too. I fucked things up, I took out frustration and confusion out on her that I shouldn’t have. I’m waiting for her to come to me first.”

“Okay.” Iwaizumi grabbed his own ball. “Okay, okay. I needed to know, to be sure.”

“I know.”

You went on a walk with Kuroo through the city streets after the picnic. He put the empty bag and blanket into his backpack, taking your hand to help you up. It was a beautiful day.

“You should come to the tournaments this Wednesday.” Kuroo said. “Nekoma is versing Seijoh, you get to see me beat the love of your life’s ass.”

“I don’t know about that.” You joked, nudging him. “I’ll definitely be there. You can’t be mad if you see me cheering for both teams, though.”

“When she supports you.”

“Shut up.”

You walked for a bit more, taking the longest way home you could. You talked a lot, joked around and pointed out shops and restaurants to try. You even went by the Sakanoshita Store. Your favorite man wasn’t even working at the time.

It was nearly sunset when you ended at your doorstep. You suddenly had a realization that you were wearing his hoodie.

“Oh, shit.” You started to bring your arms through. “Do you want your hoodies back? Now that you…”

“Babe, nothing has changed between us.” Kuroo shoved the red back onto you. “Friends before all else. And you get to keep the hoodies. As friends.”

“Friends before all else.”

As soon as you walked through the doors, your mom announced that your family would be eating BBQ with Oikawa’s as a “Family Sunday Fun Night” (her words, you cringed). Usually these dinners were planned, but sometimes your mom liked to “switch things up, keep things spontaneous” (also her words).

You tried not to be awkward around Oikawa, but it was a bit hard when he wouldn’t stop staring at you and not coming to you. His brother noticed, of course, because he notices everything.

“You two did something, didn’t you?” His brother asked from behind you.

“You would be the one to say something about it.” You felt him put his arm around your shoulders (it runs in the family, Oikawa’s mom does it too). “Is it that obvious?”

“It’s a little obvious to someone who knows.” He brought his head a little closer just in case. “Did he finally find out he loved you, too?”

“We kissed.” You confessed. “Multiple times.”

“Oh, even better. Next question: why aren’t you together?”

“I thought it was complicated.” You leaned closer to him. “It isn’t, though.”

“Send me the pinterest board for the wedding.” He said to you at the same time Takeru ran to him.

“Daddy!!” Takeru jumped into his arms. “Uncle told me to run over and ask what you guys are talking about.”

“Of course he did.” He took a step back and turned around, looking at you over his shoulder. You sent him a look as he went back into the house.

You had crashed into Iwaizumi’s house before. It was nothing crazy, just a kid on a four-wheeler for the first time.

Oikawa’s older brother had gotten two four-wheelers for his birthday and gave you and Oikawa a (very brief) run down on how to drive it before sending you both off in them. The four-wheelers only went so fast, and it was very easy to start and brake, it was made for kids of course.

However, you happened to get the one that didn’t run the best. The brakes didn’t work as well as they should’ve.

So, as you tried to catch up to Oikawa (who just drove full speed into Iwaizumi’s backyard to show off), you couldn’t stop in time and crashed right into their gutter that drained the water from the roof.

Iwaizumi’s parents rushed out, promising you that it was perfectly fine and not to worry about it. But you were on the ground, covered in mud.

Oikawa was the one who rushed to your side like he was an active doctor, asking you if you were okay and telling you to stay awake like you were dying. He always was the dramatic one.

Sometimes, you can still see the small spot where you crashed into the corner of Iwaizumi’s house. Oikawa had always been your knight in shining armor, even if he was the one who got you into a majority of the messes you ended up in.

You sat in Oikawa’s room for the millionth time, feeling out of place as if it was the first time. Like you had to ask permission to breathe his air or look at his generic blue plaid bed comforters.

He noticed.

He patted the place beside him on the bed, and you obliged. The entire room smelled like him, overwhelming your senses. Oikawa always smelled like mint and flowers.

“I kissed Kuroo today.” You said. The first thing you’ve said to him since your little… movie night.

“Okay. You…kissed Kuroo today.” Oikawa repeated. He didn’t have any emotion in his voice but you knew him better than that. “I guess I can’t really say anything about that.”

You rolled your eyes, sending him a smile. You placed your hand on top of his, in his lap. He looked down at you.

“It wasn’t like that. Kissing Kuroo made me realize something.”

“Listen, if you want to date him I’m not going to blame you. I’ve literally come to your house in the middle of the night to escape some girl in my bed while you were in love with me and…”

“I’m going to stop you there, overthinker.” You focused on your hands, rubbing your thumb along a vein on his hand. “Now it’s you who’s saying that I was in love with you.”

“Hm?” He was lost.

You looked up at him again. “You used past tense. As I was going to say, kissing Kuroo made everything very clear for me and I realized that I haven’t told you something that I really should’ve told you years ago.”

“Oh god, it’s happening.”

“I’m in love with you.”

“Well, that’s fortunate.” Oikawa sighed, bringing his hands to your face and tracing the outline of your lips with his thumb. “Because I happen to be in love with you, too.”

[thewhumperinwhite]

And Then You Kill Me (part 5)

story masterpost

TW for: referenced dubcon; guilt and self-hatred; suicidal behavior; angst and misunderstandings; under-negotiated sexual behavior. Nothing directly nsfw here but it is very much The Morning After.

@whumpitywhumpwhump @favwhumpstuff

----

Usually, the morning after he eats, Karim sits on the roof with a cup of coffee and watches the sun rise.

It’s half indulgence and half penance. He can’t actually drink the coffee, which makes the smell exactly halfway between comfort and torture. And, depending on the…volume, he guesses, of the person he’s fed from, he can only stand the sun for about an hour on a clear day. Though sometimes he stays longer than that, to feel it prickle and burn against his skin. It depends on how much he feels like a thief, how much his mouth still tastes like lies.

This morning, of course, is different.

On the one hand, he isn’t as full as he normally is. It’s cloudy out, but he still needs the sunglasses he borrowed from Diana ages ago, that take up half his face; and he pulls a cap down low over his ears and forehead, too, for good measure.

On the other hand, he didn’t say a thing last night that wasn’t true, and that feels so good he’s almost drunk on it.

There’s warmth in his belly that’s more than blood.

Karim leans forward, cradling the still-hot mug against his chest, and squints down at the street below him. There’s a little shop on the corner, where he goes for batteries sometimes; they sell some simple groceries. Karim’s never had a reason to buy them before. He can’t think of any reason he’d like better than this.

----

Art wakes up with a screaming headache and absolutely no idea where he is.

Which. What he’s learning—what it feels like it’s taking him forever to learn—is that no matter how many times you wake up naked on someone else’s couch and don’t remember how you got there, it never gets easier or better.

And then he does remember. And that’s much worse.

----

Karim pauses inside the door, in the act of setting down the single bag of food and drink he’s bought. He’s just realized that orange juice belongs in the refrigerator, and he doesn’t actually have one of those. He doesn’t eat, and it hadn’t seemed worth the electricity.

Possibly the boy can drink it all in one go? It’s been so long since Karim’s drunk anything that comes out of a bottle, he isn’t actually sure how much—

He’s still standing there, in the doorway, holding Diana’s sunglasses in one hand and the carton in the other, and then a lamp hits him in the side of his head.

It doesn’t hit hard enough to rock him backward, but it does crack in half, and land at his feet in three big pieces.

Karim stares for a moment, down at the wreckage, and then up to the bathroom doorway, where the boy he picked up from the docks is standing. He’s wearing his sweatshirt again, and he’s trembling.

“What was that for?” says Karim. The boy’s face twists.

“We had a deal,” the boy says, and that’s when Karim realizes that the boy is shaking because he’s very, very angry.

“…Huh?” Karim says. It’s the wrong answer, apparently; the boy makes an unintelligible noise and lunges for a ceramic vase sitting on a nearby end table. Karim scrambles to set the orange juice and sunglasses down (Diana likes these glasses, and she’s terrifying when she’s angry) and throw his hands up in surrender. “Woah—Hey wait!” The boy pauses, holding the vase like a grenade. He’s swaying slightly under its weight. Presumably like someone who’s lost about a liter and a half of blood. Karim kind of can’t believe he’s even on his feet right now.

“…I bought you some orange juice,” Karim says, hesitantly. “The internet says it’s good for—”

The boy throws the vase.

“Oh my god!” Karim says, ducking into the kitchen, more by instinct than any actual fear of injury. (He is full of blood and almost indestructible; and also the boy aims like someone who has lost thirty percent of their blood by volume.) “What is your problem?”

The boy gapes at Karim, and has to grab the bathroom doorway to steady himself.

“My problem,” he gasps, sounding like he wants to shout it but is too out of breath. “Did I fucking stutter last night, you asshole?” He presses his hand to his temple and closes his eyes; his head must feel like a rotten melon by now. “What part of dead by sunrise was too fucking complicated for you?”

Karim blinks at the boy. Feels borrowed blood rise into his cheeks.

“Oh, that,” Karim says. “I, um…” He has no idea what to say. “…Sorry?”

His apology—which is half-hearted, admittedly; for once it hadn’t even occurred to him to feel guilty about this—hits the boy like a blow to the stomach, and the boy covers his face with one hand and slides down the bathroom doorframe until he’s sitting in a little heap on the floor. Wearing his still-damp sweatshirt and nothing else, his bare legs splayed out to either side. He looks—small, and less alive, and ah yes, there’s the guilt Karim has been missing.

“—so fucking stupid,” the boy mutters, into his hand.

Karim puts the juice down on the counter. He wants to move closer, but that cannot possibly be what the boy wants right now.

“God dammit,” the boy says, and he turns away from Karim, and climbs forward, easing himself back up to his feet against the wall. “Fuck this,” he says, and then Karim realizes he’s crawling-stumbling-falling toward the door, like he’s going to leave that way, swaying and half-naked.

“Woah,” Karim says, darting out to catch at the boy’s shoulder, “Hold on a s—”

“Don’t fucking touch me,” the boy spits, spinning away from Karim’s touch. His back is against the front door again, like it was when he opened up so sweet and easy under Karim’s mouth and hands—what, six hours ago? Less? The boy is incandescent with rage for a second, his eyes—they’re green, an ordinary alive-person green, shot through with brown, and achingly pretty—almost glowing with it, and then his face shutters like an empty house and he says, voice cold and precise, “Get out of my way.”

Karim hadn’t even realized he was in his way. But the door opens in, so the boy really can’t get out unless Karim moves. Karim holds his hands up instead, leaning back out of the boy’s space.

“Just—just wait a second, okay?” Karim says. He tries to pitch his voice as low and nonthreatening as possible, like he isn’t looming over the boy whether he wants to or not. “Let’s just—can we just talk about this for a second.”

“There’s nothing to talk about,” the boy says. He’s supporting himself against the door, but if Karim didn’t already know he wouldn’t guess how unsteady on his feet the boy is; his voice is steady and flat and colder than Father’s basement in January. “It’s my own fault for being so fucking dumb and gullible, fair enough, glad that worked out for you, now back the fuck off.” That last part is said with so much sudden venom that Karim actually does stumble back a step without really meaning to.

“Gullible,” Karim repeats stupidly, like if he can understand just one word of what the boy is yelling at him this will all make sense suddenly. And then—suddenly—it does, and he gapes at the boy.

“Wait,” Karim says. “Do you—you think I was lying?” He almost expects the boy to deny it, except the boy is still giving him that same flat, blank look (with incomprehensible emotion underneath it, disgust and anger and maybe even hurt). “What—why on earth would I have—”

The boy looks at him. There are splotches of color in his cheeks, and his eyes are slightly too bright, and when Karim stares at him he tugs the hem of his sweatshirt down just a little farther, like he’s trying to cover his ass.

Karim takes a step back, dropping his hands to his sides.

“I wasn’t,” he says, nonsensically. “This is—Boy. I swear to you. I did not say a single thing last night that wasn’t true.”

There are big raised welts on either side of the boy’s throat, where Karim’s fangs went into him last night. The boy must have seen them, if he was in the bathroom; his reflection works just fine. They don’t look like hickeys or bruises or anything other than what they are. There’s no way the boy shouldn’t believe him, this one time when he only took what was given willingly, and not even all of that. There’s no way—

“Then explain it to me, asshole,” the boy says, and his voice is shaky with unshed tears. “Explain the world where everything you said is true, and I’m not dead yet.”

Karim wants—Karim wants. Karim wants to reach out and touch the boy. Karim wants to hold the boy gently, wants to wrap him up in something warm and safe until he tells him why he talks that way, why he wants to give his life—this thing he has that Karim doesn’t, that Karim won’t ever again—away so badly his voice trembles like that whenever he talks about it.

“It’s,” Karim says. His Father is always in despair about how bad he is with words. “Well, it’s just—I like you.”

Karim hasn’t told a lie in almost eight hours, now. This isn’t a lie, either.

The boy’s eyes go wide, surprise and then fear and then anger, and then without warning he dives down, flops onto his knees, grabs a shard of the shattered vase, and jerks it toward his own throat.

“No!” Karim grabs the boy’s wrist, too hard; it creaks alarmingly in his grasp, but the jagged ceramic piece falls from his hand and clatters to the ground. He wants to let go—the boy is far too still, his eyes too wide, and Karim already knows his wrist will bruise—but he can’t. There’s too much broken pottery and glass, and the boy is such a fragile thing.

The boy stares up at Karim. He is kneeling wide-eyed at Karim’s feet, and Karim can hear his shallow too-fast breath and his hummingbird heart, and it is almost more than he can bear.

The boy doesn’t scream, though; he doesn’t even call Karim a monster, or any of the other things Karim deserves. What he says, his voice tight, is, “They’ll find me,” and then, soft and desperate, meeting Karim’s light bulb eyes with his pretty dull alive ones, “Please.”

Karim doesn’t let go of the boy’s wrist. He gets carefully to his knees beside him, instead, meeting the boy’s gaze like it doesn’t even hurt.

“I’ve been killing in this city for nine years now,” he says, and there’s fear in the boy’s eyes, but still no fear of him. “They’ve never caught me.”

The boy’s eyes flicker. Karim has no idea with what. But this is the moment. He throws caution to the winds.

“Give me a week,” he says.

The boy stares at him.

“I like you,” he says again. The boy’s pounding heart hasn’t sped or slowed, so Karim keeps going. “You’re—I’ve never met anyone like you.” That’s true, like everything else he’s said, but he knows the boy won’t like it, so he presses ahead, fighting hard not to trip over his words. “I want to spend a week with you. Not to—we can do whatever you want. I won’t touch any way you don’t want me to. I know how to hide in this city better than anyone, no one will know where you are. And at the end of the week—” He swallows; he doesn’t want this to be a lie, but also the thought of it turns his stomach; he makes himself say it anyway. “And at the end of the week, I’ll kill you any way you ask me to. I promise.”

There’s a too-long moment of silence. The boy’s heart flutters painfully, and neither of them blink.

“…a week,” the boy says slowly, after an eternity.

Karim nods, maybe frantically.

The boy pulls his hand delicately out of Karim’s grip; Karim, useless heart pounding, lets him.

“For a week,” the boy says, “you’d better give me the flashiest murder scene in history.”

Karim grins, so hard it almost hurts his face. “Flashy,” he says, giddy and stupid. “I can do that.”

[darkficsyouneveraskedfor]

No Plan

Warnings: noncon sexual acts (sexual intercourse); unplanned pregnancy; cheating.

This is dark!Bucky and explicit. Your media consumption is your own responsibility. Warnings have been given. DO NOT PROCEED if these matters upset you.

(Fair warning, this is very depressing and rough)

Summary: You and Bucky had the perfect marriage until you didn’t.

Based on this prompt:

‘Shadow of what I once was.’ -Chance the Rapper 

for @honeyhan-123​‘s One Year Anniversary Challenge

Supplemental Lyrics: 

Where did you go? Why would you stay? You must have lost your marbles You always were so forgetful In a hurry, don't wait up I was too late, I was too late

Note: So this was kinda impromptu and out of nowhere. I haven’t done a legit one shot if forever so here ya go!

Hope you enjoy it. Thank you. Love you guys!

Please leave some feedback, like and reblog <3

Your feet ached. Even in the low heels, you felt as if you’d been standing on nails all night. Your round stomach made it hard to balance without the added challenge of your shoes. The dainty lilac silk was taut across your middle and your swollen breasts were barely contained by the off the shoulder bodice. You were told you were glowing but you felt anything but.

Your husband had wandered off as you were too tired to make the journey across the room. You found a random chair among the tables and lowered yourself heavily. An uncleared plate remained beside a champagne flute with a mouthful left in the crystal. You rubbed your stomach and sighed as you looked around.

Tony’s extravaganza’s always wore on but these days, time felt even more excruciating. The endless anxiety of the child within you, the urge to make it all go faster yet bask in what you had. 

It hadn’t been planned. You and Bucky had always agreed that children would only complicate your perfect simplicity. Neither of you had a deep yearning for a baby but you didn’t always get what you wanted. There were alternatives, you had talked about them. Those weren’t good enough for him. 

So there you were, bloated and nauseous. A different woman than you were. And he’d changed too. You could tell. Temperamental. One moment doting and delicate; the next impatient and hostile. 

Was it the stress of the unexpected? Or was it more?

You’d loved each other so entirely, you didn’t think he could have anything other than love for a child. At first, it seemed to be so but then as the months passed, his delight turned to resent. He didn’t say so but he didn’t need to. You couldn’t blame him. You felt the same and it made you sick. This child within you didn’t deserve that. So you cried alone at night; hidden in the bathroom as he snored, indifferent and ignorant.

You watched him with Steve and Sam; laughing. He didn’t do that much anymore. Neither did you. Maybe if you just talked about it, you’d realise that you were both trapped in the same dreadful limbo. The interminable wait. The fear and confusion of it all.

Maybe if he knew you were disappointed in yourself. Your career was on hold, if not over. You couldn’t be on active duty anymore, not with another life attached to you. His own was unaffected and perhaps your envy kept you from telling him of your woes. 

Is this how it would be? You alone with the child as he saved the world?

You huffed again and dropped your hand from your stomach. You looked down at the stretched silk. You couldn’t even weather a party without taking a breather. And now that you thought of standing up, you realised that might be a task on its own. Only six months and you felt ready to burst.

“How do you feel?” Wanda surprised you as she appeared from behind your chair. “You must be so excited.”

“Excited,” You smiled weakly. “In a way.”

“Oh, but it will be a miracle,” She chimed. “A little baby Bucky.”

“Well, we don’t know,” You rubbed a circle over your stomach with your fingertip. “He didn’t want to know.”

“Better, a surprise!” She sang.

You grumbled and shifted in the chair.

“Sorry, but could you…” You held out your hand. “Thank you.” You let her help you to your feet. “Is that the dress you were telling me about?”

She looked down at the dress with it’s peacock feather fringe and grinned. Her blue eyes sparkled and her golden hair shimmered down her back.

“It is,” She confirmed. “I found it at a rack sale… a bit tight but I managed.”

You chuckled softly. Wanda checked in more often than any of your other co-workers. Most only did when they were with Bucky or with a casual text. Wanda invited you to lunches and offered to baby shop with you when Bucky was too busy. You still had much to do and time seemed so trivial.

“The shower!” She clapped her hands. “I didn’t show you the invitations.”

“I told you, we don’t need one,” You insisted. “Bucky’s not much for that stuff and well, I don’t have much of a family to invite.”

“You have us,” She insisted. “We are your family.”

You could barely keep from frowning. You weren’t even sure you’d count your husband and the unborn child as family at that point. It didn’t feel like a family. It felt like a terrible obligation.

“Thank you, Wanda,” You reached over and squeezed her hand. “Excuse me, I’m not feeling very well.”

“You okay?” She clung to you.

“Fine, I think…” You fanned yourself. “I think it’s time to head out for me.”

“Okay,” She let you go, “Go rest, momma.”

You nodded with a sheepish smile and turned to waddle across the room. You were almost out of breath by the time you reached Bucky. Steve saw you and smiled. He welcomed you closer with an arm around your shoulders.

“And look at your wife,” Steve announced. “Each day, brighter than the last, I’m sure.”

Bucky turned and his cheek twitched. His veneer almost cracked. Sam nudged him playfully.

“Uh huh,” Bucky gave a crooked, half-hearted smile. 

“Now, do you think the arm is genetic?” Sam kidded and Bucky shot him a look. “Well, that definitely will be.” Sam pointed at Bucky’s scowl.

“Um, hon,” You wiggled away from Steve and touched Bucky’s cuff. “I think we should go. I’m tired.”

There was a pause. His tongue poked out just slightly and then he nodded.

“Well, guess that’s my cue,” He finally said to Steve and Sam. 

“I should be headed out soon,” Sam checked his watch. “Jet’ll be here nice and early.”

“Shit, yeah,” Bucky shook his head. “Why does Tony do that?”

You stayed quiet throughout their farewells, suppressed your misgivings. Finally he hooked his arm through yours and guided you to the door. When you passed into the hallway and approached the coat check, you finally found your courage. And your voice.

“You didn’t tell me you were leaving tomorrow,” You said softly as you handed in your ticket.

“Didn’t I?” He wondered as he grabbed your coat and handed it to you, then took his own. “Must have slipped my mind.”

You said nothing as you pulled on your coat.

“Tired,” He scoffed as he swept past you. You followed him to the door, unable to keep up more than a step behind him. 

“Bucky,” You pleaded from behind him, barely catching the door as he marched through it. “Don’t do this.”

“It’s funny how whenever I’m having fun, I have to stop because you’re not,” He huffed as he continued down the sidewalk. “That kid can’t be an excuse for you to be a bitch.”

“Excuse me?” You were startled by the venom in his tone. These mood swings had grown more frequent but no less tolerable. “Well if it was such a big deal, I’m a big girl, I can hail a cab.”

He rolled his eyes and unlocked the car as he rounded it.

“Then why didn’t you?” He got in and slammed his door. 

You opened the passenger side and lowered yourself into the seat. You closed the door but didn’t have the chance to buckle your belt before he pulled sharply out of his spot.

“I’m sorry,” You said. “I didn’t--”

“You didn’t think? Or you don’t care about me?” He gripped the wheel tightly and the leather groaned.

You were quiet. You picked at the button on your coat.

“You said you wanted to keep it,” You uttered.

“Don’t make me the bad guy,” He snarled. “Don’t. That’s what you always do. Hmm? What if I had said get rid of it? Then I’d be a monster.”

You were hurt but the anger constricted your throat and you glanced over at him.

“I told you to wear a condom,” You crossed your arms. 

“You said you were on the pill,” He growled. 

“I was!” You shouted. “You counted the pills yourself, you fucking--”

“I don’t want to do this again,” He raised his voice. “I can’t.”

“Then why do you do it?” You hissed.

“Because…” He sighed. “Because you make me.”

You lowered your chin and fought to hold back the tears. You shouldn’t have ever told him. You should have just made the decision yourself. You’d still be happy then. Him, too. He’d still love you.

“I can’t wait to fucking leave tomorrow,” He muttered. 

You lifted your head and blinked at him, stunned.

“Good,” You swallowed the acid in your throat, “Good. I can’t wait either.”

💔

Bucky slept on the couch that night. He didn’t say goodbye in the morning though you heard him leave. You were still angry but it wasn’t enough to blot out the hurt. The anger was nothing, but the stab in your heart was torturous.

You woke up slowly. Getting out of bed was awkward and descending the stairs was more than enough exercise for the morning. You mourned your specialty coffee beans and had juice instead. You buttered two pieces of toast alongside a soft-boiled egg and sat at the kitchen table with your laptop.

You could distract yourself with shopping. You still needed to paint the nursery. Hell, you still needed to do anything. Your procrastination was quickly growing overwhelming and you couldn’t wait until month nine to get your ass in gear.

You mulled between an emerald green and a canary yellow. Then a crib and a change table and a rocker… everything. Too much.

You wiped your hands and began to scroll more intently. The speakers binged and a small notification popped up in the corner. You ignored it as you mused at the koala sleeper. Cute. For a moment, you almost felt happy. Then you felt lost again.

Would it always be like this? Would you always be so alone? Bucky should’ve just left you. If this wasn’t what he wanted, if you weren’t what he wanted, he needed to just say so. Was this even what you wanted?

The same notification beeped and you clicked the small x without reading. A third time and you huffed. You rubbed your eyes and hovered over the small rectangle.

From: Marina; Rendezvous tonight? ;)

Marina. You squinted and sat back. You knew that name. You knew her quite well. You’d trained her only a year ago. The last you’d heard, she’d only just been cleared for field duty. You clicked the alert before it could flick away.

Bucky had left himself signed in. He didn’t have his own laptop, he rarely used yours; only to type up his reports and often you ended up doing it for him. You tapped your fingers above the touch pad and clicked the small bubble icon. The page loaded his messages and you felt nauseous. You gulped the last of your juice and braced yourself.

You dragged your finger along the pad and glossed over the conversation. He had been up all night, talking to her. You froze as you saw the first image; your husband’s hand around his dick. The one above was Marina; her toned stomach and perky tits, a pretty little v. You slammed the laptop shut and shoved it away.

You were mortified. Disgusted. You don’t know what to do but you know you have to do something. You look around at the life you’ve built with Bucky then at your growing stomach. You stood with a groan and left the kitchen. 

You climb the stairs slowly. You felt numb. You should have been angry, or sad, but the humiliation had seeped to nothing. Complacency. What you were used to.

You dressed and grabbed your phone. You sat on the bed and dialed. You waited for the other end to pick up.

“Hey,” Wanda sang from the speaker.

“Hey,” Your voice was steady. Emotionless. “Are you free to help me grab a crib? I saw this one online and I’d like to go check it out.”

“Of course!” She exclaimed. “Can Nat come? We were just finishing up our session.”

“The more the merrier.” You said and hung up without awaiting a response. 

You had to get out of the house. Away from the walls that only reminded you of him.

💔

In the days that Bucky was gone, you spent your days busy. Wanda helped paint the nursery a goldenrod yellow and assembled the crib. You hung up the little framed pictures of Winnie the Pooh and his friends along the walls and ordered a changing table with built-in drawers; then a rocker with a cushioned footrest, a mobile, a baby monitor… Just a little at a time. Distraction with a dollar sign.

And there were several times when your heart got the best of you. You looked at Bucky’s messages once more before you signed out of his account. Your eyes burned. They had, indeed, rendezvoused and you wondered if he was even working at all. You sniffed back your tears and carried on.

You didn’t need to worry about Bucky anymore, he didn’t worry about you. What you needed to worry about was the child. You would give it the life you couldn’t have. You would make it feel wanted because you could never wish such a horrid feeling on anyone else. Your love wasn’t his anymore, it was your own and it would be your first gift to your baby.

On the fifth night without him, you fell asleep on the couch. You were too lazy to drag yourself up the stairs and so you drifted off watching an episode of reality drivel. You woke with a start. Your legs were warm and a smooth thumb rubbed your ankle as your bottom half was draped over Bucky’s lap.

You sat up and tried to pull away. He kept hold of you as you propped yourself up on shaky arms. His touch was gentle but it stung so much. It was false affection; not affection at all.

“You didn’t tell me you were coming home.” You gulped.

“You didn’t answer any of my other texts,” His hand tickled past your knee and crawled back down. You wore a loose nightshirt, made shorter by your bump, and nothing else.

“Let me go,” You tried to wrench your legs away but your stomach made it awkward and painful. He released you reluctantly. “You didn’t even say goodbye to me and you expect me to answer.”

You grabbed the arm of the couch and tried to stand. He reached over to help as his hand grasped your hip. You stepped away and turned to cross your arms. He tilted his head as he watched you. He remained on the couch, leaning back against it with a shrug.

“Am I crashing your party?” He asked.

“Only your own,” You hissed. “You don’t have to stay. I’m sure Marina would love another rendezvous.”

He nodded and looked at his lap as his tongue slid across his lip. He didn’t look guilty, merely amused. He lifted his eyes to you and smirked.

“Is that what this is about?” He raised a brow. “You’re my wife.”

“You’re fucking her. Don’t think I’m stupid.” You snarled.

“Fucking her but I didn’t marry her,” He stood.

“I’m keeping the house, it’s the least you can do for our child,” You huffed. “Since you won’t do anything else.”

“I’m not going anywhere, babe,” He neared and you tore your arms apart. You held your stomach as you backed away from him. “I made a vow.”

“You’re cheating on me,” You snipped. “Fuck your vow.”

“She’s nothing. She’s stress relief. You are… everything,” He kept on as you walked backwards. Your back met the wall and he grasped the doorway right beside you, keeping you from slipping away. “I won’t make an excuse. I’ve been fucking her and it gets the job done but… I’ll only ever love you.”

“Bullshit,” You snapped. “You know you’re full of it.”

His hand startled you as he touched your stomach. You looked down at the metal as it stretched over the cotton. You were shaking.

“You want me to stop, I can stop. I don’t need her. I need you.” He grabbed your arm with his other hand. “I only ever think of you. Even with her.”

“Bucky--” Your feet scuffed over the hardwood and nearly caught under the edge of the rug. He shoved you ahead of him and you stumbled just in front of the couch. “Stop!”

“That’s my baby. You’re my wife.” He growled as he caught your shoulders and pushed you forward. Your knees met the sofa. “So be a good wife and serve your husband.”

“Get--off!” You struggled with him but you were off-balance. You lifted your legs onto the couch and he bent you until your head was on the back of it.

“Lonely? Is that the problem?” He dragged his hands down your back. “Mmm, look at you.” He lifted your nightshirt until your ass was bare. “Pregnancy looks well on you.” He kneaded the flesh with his metal hand as you heard his fly. You pushed back and he grasped your neck. “You don’t want to hurt the baby, do you?”

You froze and your eyes widened. You let out a murmur but could manage nothing else.

He pushed his knees between yours, you felt the rough denim of his jeans just below his cock as he rubbed against you. He was hard already. You squirmed and grabbed the back of the couch as you tried to lift yourself.

He poked at your entrance and your back ached as he pulled you against him. He pushed inside of you and sighed. He forced himself to his limit and you whimpered. He leaned against your back and his hot breath circled your neck. His metal hand came down next to yours and his other reached around to cradle your stomach.

He began to thrust, slowly. He purred in your ear and caressed it with his lips. Your legs shook. You were shocked; at his roughness, at the way your body reacted, at the suddenness of it all.

He sped up and you mewled. You quivered as you pushed back into him. Embarrassed as you couldn’t decide if you wanted him off of you or if you wanted more. His zipper bit into your ass as he panted into your neck, his hips never wavered. His fingers curled and uncurled across your stomach and he bit into your neck.

“Don’t you ever think of leaving me,” He snarled as he jolted your body. “Ever. Because I will always find you and I will always have you.”

He grabbed your neck and drew you back. You scrambled and kicked out as he turned you swiftly. He sat with you on his lap, his other hand still on your stomach as his other slipped to your hip.

“Keep going.” He ordered. 

You whined. Your lower back was on fire and your leg muscles thrummed. He guided you, rubbing your stomach as you began to rock atop him. Your arms shook as you used his thighs to keep moving.

“Ugh, yeah, yeah,” He groaned and planted his feet. He hammered into you from below and you bounced helplessly in his lap. “Fuck, fuck, here it comes.”

You felt him cum. His body spasmed as you were filled with his heat. He pulled you back against him, your legs splayed around his as he caught his breath. He held your stomach with both hands and slipped his metal fingers down to your thigh. His cock slipped just a little and he played with his cum as it leaked from you down his shaft.

“You don’t want me fucking her,” He sneered, “Then you do your duty as my wife.”

You tried to get off of him but he forced you back down until your walls were straining around him. He held you there until you stopped moving. Until you hung your head in surrender.

“I’m not done,” He snaked his hands further up beneath your nightshirt and cupped your tits and tweaked his hips. You winced and began to move once rock. “Mmm, these are even nicer than I remember.”

[ladyeliot]

Before we go (Part One)

Part 2 / Part 3 / Part 4

Pairing: Chris Evans x Fem!Reader

Summary: Your company has sent you to Boston to close a deal on the same day you have the most important date of your life at night in New York. Things get complicated, you can't return to New York and you have to spend the night in Boston with a complete stranger.

Warning: Fluff and a bit angst.

Word count: 3319

Notes:  Sorry for my spelling and grammatical mistakes, English is not my native language, I am learning.

"Sometimes we are so focused on finding our happy ending that we don't learn to analyse the signs that life offers us".

It was a clear night in April, the city of Boston, Massachusetts had welcomed you that morning, but at that moment you needed to leave it behind. You had made an express trip from New York, your home, for business knows no days or hours, so it had fallen to you to catch an early Sunday morning train to Boston, when you had a really important Sunday night appointment. You figured it wouldn't take you too long to close the deal with the big multinational, and that you'd be in New York before ten o'clock at night. So that morning you headed for Pennsylvania Station in downtown Manhattan and 3 hours and 40 minutes later you arrived at South Station in downtown Boston.

You had never been to Boston, a magnificent city with a great history that you barely had time to enjoy. You arrived carrying your coat and your bag, you didn't need anything else, besides, the less stuff you had on you the better it would be for your mobility. When you arrived you realised that the city was preparing for a nearby holiday, as many streets were blocked off, preventing traffic from passing, which meant that your taxi driver was late arriving at the company's headquarters located in "East Boston".

The meetings went on forever, your potential shareholders were not entirely sure about the future that your company could offer them, and so the hours passed incessantly without reaching any concrete agreement. The constant interruptions from your boss wanting to know the situation were not very helpful either, and the bad mood that was taking over your body, as it was your day off and therefore you shouldn't be there, was a little bump in the road.

You had set yourself a time limit, but you knew you could not return to New York City without signing that agreement or you would be removed from your position at the company. Sometimes you begged for that reinstatement, because the position of head of external relations made your life more bitter than happy. This was evident when your partner of five years, Michael, decided to give up on your relationship, you were barely home and you discovered that he had been having several encounters with a former colleague at work, finally when you told him you knew, your partner opted to leave home and take a job in Los Angeles.

At first you thought that maybe it was for the best, that you should focus on your work projects, for which you had been fighting so hard, but eventually you realised that you were really in love with him, although at no time did you justify his cheating behind your back. Your ex-partner came to you two months later regretting his behaviour and asking for a second chance, at first you were reluctant, but finally you agreed to have dinner with him, he was returning to New York for a work trip, because you loved him. The dinner was that night, the Sunday night you had to travel to Boston, Michael had been in New York for a week, but you had barely seen each other, and first thing Sunday morning he returns to Los Angeles, so you only had that opportunity to find out if it was really worth it to resume something that had been lost.

The contract was signed at exactly 9:20pm, you had to call Michael, and inform him that you were not going to make it to the dinner, but that you would go to his hotel first thing in the morning to have breakfast with him before he got on the plane, he begged you to go straight to his hotel when you arrived, whatever time it was, you finally agreed.

You were inside a taxi, the last train leaving for New York was at 9:50pm, but as usual the universe was against you. The streets had become increasingly busy, the driver informed you that the following day was Patriot's Day, an annual event commemorating the battles of Lexington and Concord, and the Battle of Menotomy, the first battles of the American Revolutionary War. You tuned out completely as I explained the history of the holiday, just staring out the window praying that you would be on time to catch that train.

"How far is it from here to South Station?" you asked when the car could barely move because of the traffic jam.

"Fifteen minutes if you walk fast and shortcut down this avenue," he commented.

Without a second thought, you offered him the fifty-dollar note you had in your hand at the ready and dashed out of the car, dodging the other cars that were crowded together at the intersection. Your negative orienteering experiences were alleviated by the city's good signage that constantly pointed you in the direction of the South Boston station. Your mind was focused on getting there before 9:50pm when the last train was leaving, it was now 9:30pm and if you were informed by the conductor that if you were going at a brisk pace you could be there in 15 minutes, that is 9:45pm.

You ran trying to dodge the crowd, constantly uttering "excuse me" and keeping a proper rhythm in your breathing so as not to choke before your time, you could tell it had been months since you had been out for exercise as you had to stop twice to catch your breath. But what took your breath away the most was when you discovered that you were carrying too little weight. You stopped dead in your tracks and looked at your arms, your hands, your bag was gone. You looked around, quickly thought about whether you might have lost it running, but realised that you had actually run so fast out of the taxi that you had completely forgotten to take your bag.

Panic invaded every limb of your body, but as you reached into your coat pockets and found the ticket that would take you back to New York you thought that was all you really needed, everything inside your bag might be replaceable in the future. You continued on your way to the station, in a few minutes you could see the entrance at the bottom of Federal Street. You quickened your pace across the square, as you tried to enter you bumped into people who were trying to exit the building slowing you down. You entered the hall a little disoriented and ran towards the platforms where the trains were leaving, you ran down the stairs, but your eyes discovered something that your mind did not want to think about, they saw how the rear lights of the last train were lost in the darkness of the night.

Your body stood still for a few moments, while your consciousness didn't understand what had just happened, or rather didn't want to understand it. In your right hand waved the ticket to New York, your only possession at the moment. You stood to one side of the stairs, so that the last two people could walk up to the station hall, while you stood for a few minutes staring at the train tracks.

You decided that all was not lost, there would be more train or even bus stations that could take you to New York that night. You retraced your steps, finding that the shops in the hall were closing, but the information window was still open. You waited until he had finished serving a customer and bowed to the gentleman.

"Excuse me, I need to go to New York tonight," you said, showing him the ticket, being as calm as possible.

"I'm sorry, but the last train had just left," he said without so much as a glance at you, counting the cash register.

"I know, I know, but I need to get to New York tonight," you insisted again. "I suppose there's another train station in the city, or even a bus station."

"I'm sorry, but the last transport to New York City is the Northeast Regional that just left this station right now," he finally laid his eyes on you, interlacing his fingers. "But first thing tomorrow morning, you'll have trains available again so you can go to New York.

"First thing tomorrow morning?" you asked a little hopefully.

"At 6:05am the first train leaves for Pennsylvania Station," he reported, staring at his electronic screen.

"I can't wait until 6:00 am tomorrow," you said, raising your tone a little. "Do you think a taxi driver would be willing to take me to New York?

"You can try," he said with a shrug. "But they're not licensed to drive outside the state of Massachusetts."

"Okay..." you said with a blank stare. "Excuse me, one last thing, if I forgot my purse in a taxi, where can I go to pick it up?"

"If he is an honest person he will have taken it to Boston police headquarters to be handed over to the Hackney lost property division," he informed you, offering me a small card. "Call here.

"Alright, thank you." Your voice sounded utterly depressed.

With a tremendous disappointment inside you, you definitely accepted his words and did not insist any more, you understood, the last means of transport connecting the Boston and New York line had left, there was no more. You took a breath nodding and realising that there was a person behind you who wanted to ask a question, you opted to head towards the nearest seats to think. You were in a completely unfamiliar city, you had to spend the night there and you had barely a coat and a useless train ticket until the next morning. Even though your thoughts were racing, trying to find a solution, you couldn't find one, there were too many negative feelings that were making you despair.

"Are you all right?" the voice came from a shadow that covered the light of the station's harsh floodlights.

You didn't answer him, just stared at him and nodded slowly, but at that very moment a station cleaner approached you.

"I'm sorry but we are closing," he reported.

"Closing?" you asked a little confused.

"The station closes from 10pm until 5am," he commented, walking away again.

That was another inconvenience your head didn't count on, you had thought that since you had to wait for a new train to leave, you could spend the night there, since you had nowhere else to go, nor money or identification that could allow you to do so. You nodded to yourself and totally disoriented you got up from your seat and headed towards the main exit of the building, you barely noticed what was going on around you, you didn't even realise how the boy who had asked you if you were alright had followed you and stood next to you.

"Do you want to share a taxi?" he asked, which brought you out of your thoughts for a moment.

"Excuse me?" you had barely heard his words.

"I was saying do you want us to share a taxi," he repeated again showing kind features on his face.

"No, I'm fine," you said and looked around again for solutions.

The young man was not giving up after your refusals, so he finally closed the taxi door and approached you again, hoping that you would finally accept the help he wanted to offer.

"Really?" he insisted, "Because it didn't look like it in there."

"I'm fine," you frowned, beginning to feel uncomfortable at his intrusion, you didn't need anyone to help you. "Really."

"Alright," he held up his hands and headed towards the taxi again. "Hey buddy! Do you think you could get this lady closer to New York?"

His words fully captured your attention, you raised your face and turned it towards the man who was talking to the driver through a rolled down window.

"To New York City?!" exclaimed the driver somewhat taken aback by your words.

"Yes!" you exclaimed running towards the rolled down window. "Specifically to Midtown Manhattan, the corner of Sixth Avenue and Bryant Park."

"Midtown Manhattan, Sixth Avenue and Bryant Park," repeated the young man who was trying to help you.

"That would be an all-night drive," declared the taxi driver hesitantly. "Besides, I can't drive in another state, they might take away my license..."

"I'll pay whatever it takes if you can get me back to New York by six in the morning," you begged with a thread of hope in your gut.

"It must be 220 miles one way," he said, doing the math. "All told, about 440, counting gas and the risk that my license could be revoked..."

"Whatever," you insisted again. "I'll pay you anything."

"All right," nodded the man, gesturing for you to get into the taxi. "We'll leave it at $1,200."

"Thank you very much, I'll pay you as soon as we get there," you informed humbly before getting into the car, which caused the situation to take an unexpected turn.

"Wait, I need half the money up front," the taxi driver began. "Otherwise we won't get out of this block."

"The truth is..." you began as your hopes dwindled.

"It's on me," said the young man next to you quickly, which caused you to half-open your lips and look at him in complete bewilderment. "You'll pay me back."

"Wait," you said stopping his hands before he pulled out his credit card. How do you know I'll pay you back, and why are you doing this?"

"I guess I'm trying to do my good deed for the day," a smile appeared on his face, which confused you even more if that was possible. "Besides, do you have another option?"

The boy offered his credit card to the taxi driver, and you were stunned when you realised that the man was paying 600 dollars to a complete stranger to travel to New York. Who the hell does that these days? Who was that guy?

"This card is expired," the driver reported, handing the card back to him through the window of the car.

"Expired?" the boy looked at it. "Shit, it expired last week. Don't worry, I've got another one."

The blue-eyed young man looked at you and smiled a sheepish smile, you had hardly smiled all day.

"It's not active," the taxi driver reported again, handing back the card.

"Shit..." the young man looked at her, " Alright, let me get my phone out and... fuck, no battery."

"Really?!" you exclaimed at the situation before your eyes. "Is there anything working in your life?"

That question you blurted out without thinking that the most unfortunate person at that moment was you, you even surpassed what had just happened to that boy. Finally the taxi driver, seeing the situation, decided to roll up his window and leave instead of wasting his time with you.

" Oh shit!" you exclaimed, holding your hands to your head as you realised that your hopes were lost.

You were the same as you were, well worse, because now you had one more disappointment inside you. You opted that the best decision was to reap your own destiny, alone, so you returned to your original position and stood looking at the car traffic at that wide intersection in the city of Boston, wondering what to do. Surely you would find another taxi driver who would decide to take you to New York, even if you didn't pay him on the spot.

"Well," said the young man approaching you again. "What do you feel like doing?"

You narrowed your eyes, not understanding why he was trying to help you, nor the need he had to spend more time with you. What was clear to you was that he was not helping.

"Do you really have nothing better to do tonight?" you asked him somewhat quizzically, with an edge to your tone.

"Wow," he arched his eyebrows in a smirk. "Is that how you treat someone who's trying to help you?"

"Help me?" you laughed, shoving your hands into your coat. "Well, I guess it's the thought that counts."

"Yeah... even if my cards don't work and I have no battery in my mobile, at least I'm at my destination," he said with irony, provoking a shudder inside you. "Come on, what do you want to do, do you want to go to a hotel?" you frowned at his words to which he laughed as he contemplated your reaction. "Oh no, I mean spend the night, correction, for you to spend the night... Alright, leave it."

"I'm not going to sit idle in a hotel," you said gruffly. "I need to get to New York before dawn."

" Alright..."

You were both silent for a while, trying to avoid thinking about Michael, how he would be waiting all night for you to come and you probably wouldn't even get there before he left for Los Angeles. But in trying not to remember your situation, you realised how rude you had been to this young man, who only seemed to be kind to you and whose name you barely knew.

"I'm sorry," you said, turning to him and nodding.

"No problem," he said smiling at you and held out his hand to you. "I'm Chris, by the way."

You nodded looking at his hand, after all he was a complete stranger and somewhat peculiar, so you opted to offer a fake name.

"Adriana," you finally shook his hand.

"Nice name," he said, putting on his red sox cap, at which point you realised that his features were somewhat familiar. "I really love the night in Boston, so I could stay here forever, but I'm pretty hungry after the trip. I know you need to get to New York, but standing here you won't be able to do much, do you feel like joining me for a bite to eat? We can figure something out while we eat."

Those words reminded you that you hadn't had a bite to eat since lunchtime, and your stomach felt resentful, it was begging for some food to be shoved in, so that plan sounded really good. On the other hand, you weren't receptive to the idea of leaving the place with a complete stranger, and you didn't have any money on you.

"I don't have any money," you reminded him. "And you don't look like you do either."

"Just because I don't have six hundred dollars on me doesn't mean I don't have money on me so we can afford to eat something," he said, flashing his sweet smile again. "Come on. I know just the place on Beacon Hill. It's not too far from here."

You took a full breath, surrendering to her idea and nodded, if you had to stay awake until six in the morning, at least you'd have a full stomach. So you started to walk to your left.

"Hey! Where are you going?" he asked hanging up his backpack again.

"Beacon Hill?" you pointed to your left.

"Beacon Hill," he said, pulling his hand out of his pocket and pointing to the opposite side.

You accepted your confusion and misdirection and with a smile you nodded and stood next to him.

"Wow, you can smile," he exclaimed. "It could be a nice night after all."

to be continued . . .

Part 2 / Part 3 / Part 4

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