#sorry if i tagged u and u don't read much
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Here are nine books I want to read in 2025! Thank you for the tag, @whitegownsandflowercrowns! ٩(ˊᗜˋ*)و ♡
This was really fun tbh! I have a pinterest board of book recs with 700+, so I enjoyed narrowing it down to these!
How Does It Feel to Be a Problem?: Being Young and Arab in America by Moustafa Bayoumi
The Wretched of the Earth by Frantz Fanon
Drive Your Plow Over the Bones of the Dead by Olga Tokarczuk
Opioid, Indiana by Brian Allen Carr
Beasts of a Little Land by Juhea Kim
When I Sing, Mountains Dance by Irene Solà
Cornucopia by Lindsay Temple
The Vile Thing We Created by Robert P. Ottone
White Trash: The 400-Year Untold History of Class in America by Nancy Isenberg
No pressure tags: @lewistoferrari, @forbiddenpondrocks, @pumpkinrootbeer, @gemmahale, and anyone who wants to do this! (Honestly, please. Do it. I love book recs. Tag me, please.)
#tag game#I LOVE THESE THANK YOU SO MUCH#sorry if i tagged u and u don't read much#i'm just fascinated by ur brain ehehe
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snoopy blue-eyed person stare
Snoopy #87
27/12/2024
#peanuts#snoopy#art#87#those aren't stink lines that's his AURA okay?#i don't think snoopy actually has blue eyes because he is a beagle which is a brown eyed dog#anyway why is this kinda... jack zimmermann (and alicia). like omgggg this beagle is a stanley cup champion?! go falcs??????#this is like that one ep of phineas and ferb when candace ended up in perry's body and to show that it was candace they gave it her eyes#so it was like a perry body with candace eyes. this is like if snoopy and jack zimmermann did a bodyswap and to show this to the audience#i gave snoopy jack's eyes. or really insert-your-fave-blue-eyes-person-or-character-here's eyes. boone from lost/phil lester/saoirse ronan#actually i think this is a common visual trope that happens in many things not just pnf#also sorry if this is a microaggression against blue eyed people. love you all really <3#but i was thinking of ian somerhalder and siberian huskies and that one drawing/meme of the blue eyed person stare#u know. the one with the smirk and the crossed arms#tbh i've been obsessively working on something else so not much time for drawing :(#anyway....... if you've ever thought about making a bodice block. don't. pick up a different hobby instead.#and if anyone knows how to reduce the width of a dart in a sewing pattern please please pleaseeee let me know how LOL (crying)#i don't think these tags ever appeal to anyone else but also who reads this far? this is my diary now.
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hey daph!
#daphne greengrass#hp fanart#hp wlw#slytherin#wow so much has changed in tumblr it's crazy!!!#i've been gone for so long :((#i read all the anons in my inbox don't worry 🥺#(except for the rando bots)#i'm going to reply to my anons slowly so i don't spam you guys' dash but feel free to block my tag#drabstuff#my art#i rly came on here after 1 million yrs just to post a daphne greengrass doodle im so sorry 😭😭😭#its bc my friend sent me this... painful daphmione fic that left me HURTING so thank you for that *coughs* saint *coughs*#and bc i couldn't find any daphne fanart and i was HEARTBROKEN but idk if i drew her right ;u;#the fic is called The Animagus Project by sleepingontheway and it BROKE ME I HAD TO DRAW HER OKAY IM WEAK AND IM SORRY#//gross ugly sobbing
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tagged by ko @tofumilanesa for wip wednesday! big shout out to writevember for making me feel like i can actually call any of these works in progress… your guide to my emoji code under the cut
wip!
🪻🐈⬛ - the doc title is still just. YOWLING but i am like 7/8 of the way done with omega yamo fic and hopefully salem isn’t reading this so i can just drop it over a year later with no warning <3
🫃2️⃣ - DEWEY^2 P2!!!! she is almost done (i am lying) but she is so close i can almost taste it. sorry to my pwp that grew its own feelings baby
😇🤭 (🕒 -> 🕜) - rip i’m not telling you about this one until it’s posted but it IS complete aside from being ao3 formatted and the eight billion edits i inevitably do right before full-sending it
☁️💧 - cloud petey fic, which exists mostly as an embarrassingly large tag on a different blog and is condensing into a narrative about as well as water at 30° N/S. the time loop fic also falls under this description
eternally in progress (short list)
🌑🐕 - tyler borzoituzzi exists… there is an index of scenes/plot points… it plays like a movie in my head…
💯❕- fantastic! ‘verse
👁️👻 - stevie brandon seeing ghosts au, which has eight different (now nine i guess but you haven't seen the mustache adam post yet) plots. sorry
just. rotating like a microwave
🍎 - because they didn’t have a pomegranate emoji, this is what i used for the fic that feels like it should be a 50k connor bedard character study hanif abdurraqib/cathal kelly thesis about legends and mythmaking in sports and eating your young. yes i know pomegranates aren’t actually pomes and apples are but it’s fine
🦈 - the one cat da fuck they doing over there meme but about the sharks just like. in general. more on this at five
tagging @colap1nto, @songsandswords, @whitenikes, @gordiemeow, @acheronist, and anybody else who wants to share!!
#i regret to inform the public (beloved mutuals who read my tags) that we have hit the doldrums re: creativity.#got SO excited because i had no prep for tomorrow and got out unreasonably early and proceeded to do nothing 🤩 zero motivation/inspiration#anyway. being a big baby. have looked at dewey^2 for too long and now hate it which makes me sad because i was on SUCH a roll solving plot#and really i just need to pick something else from my (looks at smudged hand) 10000 other documents but none of them are calling my nameeee#maybe i’ll ao3 format 🕒 -> 🕜 or maybe i’ll read wandering stars (did finish a book this morning) and then hope something strikes me#preferably very aggressively like with the force of a train? OHHHHHH YOU GUYS MAYBE I COULD MAKE SOMETHING FOR HOLY JUMPING MACKEREL FEST#because you know what DID hit me upside the head like a 2x world champ coming from behind with the steel chair WAS BERGY & JOE GUESS WHO#joey first of all did not deserve to lose those games and second of all i am SO immensely delighted i don’t know if it’s on here yet i am#so sure at least one of my beloved drw moots (beth and nik are likely culprits but all of u would) has it on here yet BUT THERE’S SO MUCH#BERGY VERY BLATANTLY CALLING JOE A NERD BC HE KNOWS ALL ABT HIS TEAMMATES &LOVES THEM!! BERGY NOT KNOWING A SINGLE FUCKIN THING ABT ANYONE!#the absolute unsurprised yet still heartbroken disbelief & disappointment of joe saying ‘he uses black tape!’ oh that’s rent-free forever#anyway.#liv in the replies#p.s. it's fic friday now don't worry about how late i am#as always ask away ask about anything in post tags y'all know i love to yap u are always welcome in the inbox or dms#i was trying to be slightly less mysterious about all of these but i am a secret-keeper sorry and also you need to live inside my brain#in order to understand half of what i'm referencing sometimes. sorry.#also there are some un-hockey fic projects i want to do but i have. so little time in my life for anything sometimes that we will make do
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pairing: kuroda yukinari x gn!reader (no prns)
summary: he was always just watching from afar
warnings: none :)
He was always watching from afar. He would watch the way you would always say you were tired, but you'd be paying full attention every class. He noticed how you would genuinely be interested in class when you enjoyed the subject, but when you didn’t you’d subconsciously frown at the work given.
When he was practicing afterschool, sometimes he’d see you walk out of school a little too late and he’d realize you were studying in the library again. He would usually just watch, but today he just really wanted to talk to you. Maybe he was feeling particularly lonely that day after you had a seating change and you sat even further away from him than before. Whatever it was, he was feeling rather impulsive today.
“Sorry, I’m going to go ride outside for a bit,” he told his teammates and rolled his road racer outside. Little did he know, most members of the team knew about his little crush, especially the third years. It was a little too obvious to not notice, because every time you were in his line of vision, he was looking at you. They had hardly ever seen the two of you talk, but all they could hope for was all the best for their vice-captain— he was always looking at you with the sweetest gaze ever.
And for the first time ever, he was stepping forward
“Okay, take your time,” Izumida said.
“Hm? Oh, thanks,” Kuroda said, unaware of what Izumida had meant.
Oh, would he just end up just walking past you again? He wanted to talk to you, but what would he say? Immediately, he knew he would probably end up just watching you from afar, unable to say anything. He sighed at the thought of that.
But to his surprise, you turned to look at him. Okay, now what does he do? What does he say?
“Oh, Kuroda!” you said, taking your earbuds out. Gosh, he loved that about you. You were probably only going to talk for a bit, there was no reason for you to put them away. Yet, at the same time, he was somewhat surprised you knew his name— you were in the same class, of course you did. Maybe he was surprised to hear you say it, rather. “Are you off to practice now?”
“Oh, yes. I’m in the road racing club... which is probably obvious now,” he said, frantically. Gosh, he was making a fool of himself, you didn’t even ask! He was just so flustered, the words weren’t coming out right.
“Of course, I know!” you said. “How would I not know Mr. Vice-Captain of our school’s pride and joy road race team! Do you have a race soon?”
“I do. Quite soon actually... on Saturday,” he said, mind blank. He was just going to answer your questions now he wasn’t capable of much more, he realized.
“Saturday! I really shouldn’t hold you up then,” you said and he scolded himself for saying that. He would’ve rather talked to you for a little longer and practiced all through the night if he had to. “Where and when is it?”
“Just up the Hakone mountain,” he said, surprised. It’s one thing to ask where, but to ask when? He was going to start having some false hope. “In the morning, at around 9.”
“Would it be weird if I show up?” you asked, a little less energetic than before, almost as though you were afraid he’d tell you not to come.
“No, not at all,” he said, a little too quickly. “...Please do.”
Immediately, your face glowed up the way he loved to see it. He could not believe you were talking to him right now.
“Then, I will definitely be there,” you said. “I’ll let you go for real now, I want to see you win that race.”
“Oh, crap, I forgot my water I’ll need to go back to get it. I’ll see you,” he said. “Thank you.”
“See you!” you said and walked off, putting your earbuds back in.
He didn’t lie, he only had one bottle when he usually carried two, but usually he’d just go on and buy something at a vending machine. However, he knew his ears were red and the last thing he wanted was for you to see. He walked back in and no one questioned how quickly he was back, (because they were all watching) which he found weird, but that was the least of his worries.
“How did it go?” Izumida asked.
“Oh, I haven’t gone yet,” Kuroda said. “I realized I forgot a water bottle.”
“No, not that,” Izumida said, finally tired of playing dumb.
“What?” he asked, then looked around and saw that quite a few more people were looking at him, eagerly waiting for him to go on. “Were you all watching??” He felt even more embarrassed than before if that was possible.
“(L/n)’s coming... on Saturday,” he said quietly, covering his face with his hand, hoping they wouldn’t see how red it was.
“Oh, you really have to win now~” Manami said, and that made Kuroda smile.
“Yeah, I really do.”
#kuroda yukinari x reader#kuroda yukinari#yowamushi pedal x reader#yowamushi pedal#yowapeda imagines#yowapeda x reader#GOSH I HATE WRITING LN OR YN#IT FEELS SO SILLY TO ME#but also i try to use no prns if possible#he is so lovely to me its insane i think he is just so serious and hard on himself like all he does is practice i love him#YOU CAN HAVE SOME FUN ITS OKAY#i really like writing like blurbs but whenever i start to write a blurb it ends up as a drabble#BUT I HAVE SO MUCH FUN WRITING FOR HIM maybe i will continue this in another part#if literally anyone finds this let alone likes this i will be so surprised again but TY FOR READING REGARDLESS !!!!#oops forgot to mention NOT PROOFREAD I FINISHED WRITING AND I HIT POST#i mean u can probably tell from the errors but SORRY#sorry i am currently copy pasting everything from my other blog including the tags so please don't mind my old rambles
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if you can, i highly encourage you to interact with fan artists of all formats, including fic authors, because even apart from that being really really nice for the artists, it's also good for you on a personal/selfish level !! it's a win-win situation !!
because let me tell you, there's a rush like no other when you finally get your shit together and comment on a fic that you've been rereading for years and the author responds (!) and tells you "That is an incredibly high compliment" (!!) and gives you a bit of insight into how they conceptualise the character (!!!) . like. oh my god i'm doing it i'm getting a good grade in Fandom
(engaging with fan art of all formats will also greatly increase fan artists' energy + desire to continue doing fan art, which, again, win-win situation !!)
#you can tell that i am still new to actually ENGAGING with fandom lmao#lmaster37 posts#fandom general#the author in question is inkpot_demigod (ao3) btw and you should check them out if u're even vaguely into pathologic#actually scratch that you should check them out regardless#hoo boy their kinktobers have got me considering kinks i would never have given a second glance before#personal recs of their fics atm:#daniil in wonderland (horny alice in wonderland fusion; delightful if you enjoy a fair dose of strange in your smut)#tastes as sweet (daniil and lara confess their feelings to artemy on the same day; the three of them figure it out; v cute v domestic)#janus by blood (ough such a good vampire fic ahh. honestly don't remember whether this even had smut?#mostly there's a lot of dealing with such a complete violation of bodily autonomy while fighting the plague. ie not having a lot of time)#tongues of the gorkhon (mermaid AU but. like. the kind with lots and lots of teeth)#it hurts to become (FANTASTIC inquisitor!daniil AU. what if i was completely alone in my role where there were supposed to be three.#what if you were part of The Powers That Be against whom you've struggled so much.#god i am so so weak for the way they write daniil and this is a particularly fun thought to play around with)#however what you should ABSOLUTELY read even if u don't know patho is Trading Life and Death (<- fic that inspired the above exchange)#it's vampire!daniil x werewolf!artemy (always an inspired dynamic) and it's so so good#and also by god is it hot#uhh check warnings/tags for every fic obv#this is patho so. horror/issues of every kind galore#sorry i am just so so stoked about this#praying that they don't see this tho bc i would die on the spot afksadkad#they're genuinely one of my top 3 fic authors
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I was wondering if I could write about your gay hallmark characters, but not as continuing the story (I wouldn't do that. It would be rude as fuck) but as fanfiction for your fanfiction.
hi! thank you for asking first, i really really appreciate it! just a clarification, my piece isn't fanfiction--100% original fiction!--but yeah, go for it, write all you want, i'd just rather you didn't post it. if you really want to, please just make sure to tag & credit me so ppl dont confuse it with canon 😊 thank you!
#even if u dont end up posting i'd love to read it anyway !!!! dm me !#jes.inbox#this one was kinda hard bc on the one hand yeah dude write whatever you want . on the other i am So fearful.#a while ago someone wrote a continuation of the story (they've deleted it now so all good) in which they#referred to xavier as mexican#when that's said nowhere in the og piece and xavier has been chilean from Day One#so like. i just want to avoid stuff like that yknow#cannot stress how much lore there is for these guys that i just havent gotten around to posting yet#i know this kind of stuff is just what happens when you're a nobody on the anonymous website and a thing you wrote goes semi-viral but ykno#so i guess if you're gonna write about these guys don't just make up backstory stuff that wasn't specified in the og piece !#again these guys aren't from a well known media ! these are just my ocs lol#ANYWAY sorry for the tags rant oops
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i try to avoid my acc being Just vntposting . in this world. but man is it going
#vwoop.noises#rest of tags is a lil heavy one#I am just so like. baseline unhappy with my life#and i can't be distracted all the time because like A) I have to be a person and B) World Cannot Revolve Around Me#and even a bit of those distractions have been Also caked in misery bc i am. difficult#so like what even is the point#And then. school .#did not go to my exams. my parents are mad and sayign i can't take a semester off because this was my write off and its like. NO. NOT REALL#they do not care how much of a mental breakdown i have visibly because they do not believe anything I have Not had any sort of rest .#and also like. they have their own problems. but one of these problems is telling me i wouldn't Really act like this#bc. and i really do like. wish that ppl would get help but we've tried but. over the last couple years my mom has believed that things#have been replaced / altered. and constantly brings up like. Oh yr dad NEVER ate pizza before :/ / you would've never said that / etc#Which like. it's such a genuine mental health thing like I deeply fully understand but I've been the only one taking it on and I am like.#21yo and very useless. And Also She's Mean 2 Me Now. I don't know what to do /shrug#And that's my storey . Kind of why it's been a constant stream of negativity we are doing :heart: Bad#like a year and a half ago: haha it's okay i'll just lock in next semester#the horrors: Hello. You are never doing an assignment again#sorry for the lore drop . thx if youve read this far idc if not. it's nice to get off my chest for real.#i gotta. make something soon idk#i can pretend that it will fix me :D#i am doing okay for the record uhhh we persist or whatever. if u are concerned of my absence my other blogs r in my pinned :]#I am still chronically online believe this. this is just my original posts blog. n mncrft sometimes still#after typing this out i left it on my puter to go search for food#and i had a huge rant sesh with my brother and this did kinda fix me ngl . Still posting tho.
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I saw your post about your gender feelings. Hang in there, bud.
If it helps, I was once told that no cis person ever questions "what they are", they just are. I get the imposter syndrome though, and the disconnect between your day to day and a small haven of peace where you can be yourself. I come from a conservative background, without any of the queer influences I enjoy today.
We're constantly growing, constantly learning new things about ourselves; I think that's part of the journey of being queer, rather than any indication you don't belong or aren't queer enough. You have a significant added challenge in exploring too and I hope one day they're gone. Much love and solidarity to queer Russians. 💜🤍💛💚
Already was on the brink of tears and now am crying, mate
Thank you, that thing about cis people not questioning kinda helped actually. I was told same about mental health issues (at least those can be confirmed with a paper and a stamp, huh). So i guess yeah. True. It's just the terf rhethoric about being confused and actually just seeking a way around patriarchy and all that bullshit that gets under my skin.
I'm happy you're free from those things in your past though, gonna live out my gay dreams through you and your art then, lol <3
I think another thing that is gnawing at me is that I am actually priviledged (and/or lucky). I had a lot of queer experiences that many other queer people here are absolutely robbed of. So it feels as if I'm kinda taking what they deserve more. Or that I can't be grateful enough for being able to have these things while others can't because I'm out here not even knowing what I am.
Anyway. Love wins. And we're here, proud and queer.
Love you 1969 times, thank you.
#juju's replies#on-a-lucky-tide#gonna come back to this a lot probably#also not me reaching for my cigs every time you mention nik's homophobic background in your works#although. i kinda like to imagine he was there in the heart of the soviet queer scene sometimes.#fun fact: for some reason my very homophobic mother was the one who showed me some “gay spots” here in moscow#i have no idea how she even knew#i mean like spots queer folks were gathering at like in the 80s#sorry i ended up ranting below in the tags you don't have to read it i really appreciate your support mate#you're a real one#my queer experience is so fucking weird mate. i literally used to kiss girls out in the broad daylight few kilometers away from kremlin#but had to invent hiding spots for the pride flag and socks my friends gifted me so that mum wouldn't throw them away (she still did)#also i think my dad knew despite me never mentioning it??? he just casually dropped something like about my “boyfriend. or girlfriend”#never elaborated#and i found out my sister was queer FROM HER GAY FRIEND#AS WE WERE OGLING TRAINERS IN A ROCK CLIMBING HALL WE WENT TO TOGETHER#and he was drooling over the guy. and i was over the girl. and he was like “oh so it runs in the family”#i was like ??? my sis literally never said anything we just started exchanging gay memes#everyone at school knew what i was and yet i still had to make my fairy tales only queer coded to avoid getting taxed for “propaganda”#it's just constant cognitive dissonance#but i do still have it so so so much easier than other queer people here#hell even people i went to school with had and have it worse than me#so not like i have much to complain about#gotta get a grip and fight for them#thank u.
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ppl really b acting as if there's only one specific ship that has weird shippers that will complain about ppl not shipping their otp. it's literally always the case you either get fucked over for liking a gay ship or for liking a straight ship or for liking a toxic ship or people just start going "oh there's nothing wrong with the ship but the shippers💀" and you don't fucking know what they're talking about. like can we all just chill. the weird shippers r everywhere it's called some ppl are assholes sometimes. it's not fandom specific
#it's like with the “x ship sent death threats to the author!”#first of all : proof?#second of all: I've heard this for multiple diff ships that is not new that is not exclusive to one fandom or one ship.#sometimes ppl in fandom r too invested and do stupid shit#god#I'm sorry I doomscrolled another Instagram reel comment section#it's just. I'm so tired of ppl talking about mha's fandom as if it's the worst thing of all time?#first of all no its not? fucking chill?#second of all. if the fandom is ruining the show for you then genuienly get off the internet#third. so sorry but half of the time when ppl say the mha fandom is awful they're either calling it cringe (fandom is always cringe get over#it it's ok) they're complaining about everything being gay (so you're a homophobe ok. literally what is wrong with making character queer#ON OUR OWN INTERPRETATIONS OF THE STORY. DUDE.#)#or theyre just.... picking up random shit thats been rumored to have happened or that's just an isolated thing that happens all the time in#every fandom (refer to my earlier points)#genuienly. if the fandom pisses you off that much. get off the internet . block the tags. like for your health.#it's so annoying to try and look at mha stuff or even TALK IRL#WITH PEOPLE WHO LIKE MHA#(i am not fucking with you this has happened)#and being told or reading that oh mha is fun but the fandom sucks :///#sorry you don't experience whimsy and are incapable of curating your own experience?#Jesus#(there's also the ppl who r like ugh mha is mid mha sucks in like comments of mha fan but like fuck these guys#you're entitled to your opinion I if you don't like mha that's fine I'm not going to throw eggs at you but like...#why do u feel the need 2 go into a comment section of stuff that is about mha to say that mha sucks actually and the author is bad and the#characters r badly written and blah blah blah. LEAVE ME ALONEEEE)#Anyway maybe one day I will finally leave Instagram but for now I can't bc fukcing. ppl r on there#mumblings//#rant
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you know me i love to survey the people, here's a question:
#ending at 40 is not shade i just literally don't think i have any followers older than that#and i don't expect this to break containment lmao#but if u are older than your 40s and i accidentally left u out then im sorry i just didn't know u were here 💔#if im being very real i don't think any of us here are even older than 30s but like idfk#best to be safe#anyway im just curious about this#i had short hair im high school but then grew it out at about 19 or 20 and have had p much the exact same haircut ever since#i wonder how frequently other people go for a big change y'know#tbh? idk if this poll even makes sense but that's what tumblr polls are for#thank u for reading another tag essay by me <3#bri babbles
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Starting a collection of images called 'Kill them with kindness? Wrong! WIND MASTER ATTACK 💃🕺' You think they need decorum and systemic sensibility to get the job done? No they just need a reason to flashbang you. Fuck you and your million dollar mansion I'm carrying Ming-xiong out of here like a sack of potatoes as if it were my given right. Boob attack!!!!! One million merits to the first person to tell General Pei to go bleach his roots.
#▌ ◈ SHI QINGXUAN ; ⌜ study ⌟#SORRY FOR THE NASTY COLLAGED PHOTOS i read tgcf using the physical books#I WAS SOBBING OVER THE FIRST ONE W/ TSUN EARLIER.#IT'S LITERALLY JUST 'breasts boobily at you (threat)'#im laughing but man ghost city/golden banquet arcs are such treasure troves for rlly seeing the heart of sqx#virtues and vices and isms and all#they're so smart when it calls for it but so deeply unserious#i just know one of swd's blood vessels comes dangerously close to exploding when sqx does any of this#much to be said about how it's a blend of sqx's roots as someone who wasn't high class#but also the privileges they've unknowingly been afforded#u don't REALLY have to worry about trouble and the systems of power when u have someone exempting u from them#but at the same time sqx would still defy it all regardless#(pointing at me getting meta in the tags) is that guy bothering u
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Hey guys!! this is just my insane ramble on Still Waters Run Deep that's made by the lovely @un-local. I've had so so sooooo many thoughts about this fic and I decided to try and put it all coherently in a post :)
Probably not a lot of new insights, just many, many rambles
Magdalene analysis and her view on Rogier + some other stuff
Magdalene, at the start of the story, is aimless and refuses to follow any line of Grace, putting off whatever it leads to and going in the opposite direction. Yet Grace is fickle, and it all eventually converges, so she gives in. (aaaand a life-changing partnership ensues)
She wants out of the competition of becoming Elden Lord, and she wants nothing to do with it. Someone else to take lordship is what she wants. Magdalene, in her eyes, is not worthy to take the throne. But Rogier on the other hand…
Rogier is, quite literally, built different. He thinks differently compared to Magdalene (a STR vs INT user difference lol). He’s able to pick out all the details that she would miss. Be able to extrapolate and examine it all and be able to learn from it. Magdalene can't do that.
It's basically:
Rogier: says some fun facts about the most random thing in the room, saying all the history behind it, and what the tiny details could mean Magdalene: yeah, that's a rock.
So instead, she becomes a tool for Rogier to be able to use, because that's the least she can do for him.
“She can already feel the faint grin forming on her lips at the thought. She never wanted to be Elden Lord. She’d finally picked up and followed grace to... to get away, with no idea what it called her to do. When Melina told her where it led her, she felt only dread. But Rogier... To save Those Who Live in Death... Two birds, one stone. She meets his eyes, and doesn’t look away. In them, she doesn’t see pride, or avarice. She doesn't see a man who wants to rule the world. Not at all. The path forward is clear now.” -Chapter 22
For once, she really sees a light from the dark future she sees. She's hopeful that she won't have to take the throne, that Rogier can burden it instead of her. He's worthy in her eyes and because of that, she devotes herself to him with all she can do. (Ah but… I believe Rogier wants her to be Elden Lord? Not sure but her not wanting to be Elden Lord doesn’t quite fit with what he has planned)
Magdalene really holds onto Rogier, and his guidance (a comfort wizard, if you will). And so the idea that he won’t make it… that she’ll be left alone with Grace again, forced to join back into the competition for lordship... It's sickening to her. So she really clings to him, desperate to not be left alone with a destiny that she despises.
Magdalene is always pulled into different directions. Grace pulls her to one but she pulls herself to the opposite one. Fia and D are both on extreme sides of the spectrum on Rogier's survival, and Magdalene is caught right in the middle of it.
But for her, Rogier will survive, he has to survive otherwise... that light, that small hope she has will all fade into obscurity.
Ghosts from the past (Lorens and Ida)
I absolutely love how something, or rather, someone haunts both of them.
Lorens had been the catalyst of all of what Rogier does now. Why he’s so desperate to save those who live in death. He's literally devoted his body and mind to Lorens just to see him alive (maybe Rogier's devoting all of himself to finding a solution to death because he wants it to come back to the old times when it was just him and Lorens in the Rise, or maybe not!! I'm just rambling lol).
Every thought of Lorens is painted with a sort of bittersweetness to it. From Rogier's perspective, at the very least (I'm super curious as to how Lorens would view Rogier but we'll probably never get it because... you know...). He's almost obsessed with him, and it's all pretty unhealthy lol.
Magdalene, who’s haunted by Ida who's probably a sort of lover that hadn't been fully brought to fruition. Different opinions on what they have had made Magdalene leave with (from what I have seen at least, we have scrapes of her, people! I can't wait to see more of Ida though)
Now with Ida... Magdalene absolutely shakes herself out of every thought she has about Ida. Spurning every single thought or imagination she has of that woman.
"Nausea comes in waves. Fever. She can feel delirium taking her—she’s convinced she’s submerged in the very waters of creation, for a while. She vividly feels herself sinking deeper and deeper into a current; cold and dark and inescapable. As it pulls her down, she’s overcome with the instinct to breathe it in— Against her temple she feels a hand, with gentle fingers dragging softly through her hair. Suddenly, every layer of the dream collapses in on itself, and she jolts awake with a gasp. Here, in Liurnia, she hauls herself up, rubbing at her face. Even the memory is a shock of cold water to her. She’s a woman haunted." -Chapter 23
(I just really love this part- I can't help it)
I think it's also really interesting how Magdalene leaves Ida due to their differences in what they have (?) while Rogier just absolutely hangs onto Lorens no matter what, despite him being... er... him. Not so sure about his personality with the small flashbacks we get of him but he’s probably not good for Rogier.
In short, Rogier venerates Lorens, while Magdalene absolutely rejects Ida. (Opposites!)
Rogier’s overthinking
Also found it interesting that when Rogier thinks he really thinks. He's a professional overthinker, even in the past
"He thinks of the labyrinthian etiquette, the way he’d triple-check every sentence for a double meaning. The secrets, the ruthless political schemes. It all felt like a spider’s web to him. He’d learned the game, and he played it well, but it had been nothing but paranoia and misery for him. Just like it was for everyone else." -Chapter 17
It's what's kept him alive (Ch. 17), and what's been able to pave the way for his findings Yet, it’s also his curse. He tries to pick out every detail that he can and think of every possible reason or motivation. Every single outcome he just needs to know so that he won't get caught by surprise again. He needs to be in control of the situation, he needs to be the master of the chessboard.
Oh and once this guy spirals, he really spirals. He starts thinking and looking at details, rewinding every single thing, every interaction, and trying to label a reason for every little thing. Yet... something emotional seems to break the surface of the water.
I personally think that he was raised to overthink. He was a noble after all, and he dealt with politics. He truly needed to check, double check, triple check, every single sentence and word in case it would have a double meaning. "He’d learned the game, and he played it well" (Ch. 17) . Getting worse after Lorens' death, being fooled by "Only a cut." (Ch. 25) and seeing the aftermath of it.
He can't not do it because if he doesn't, and he gets surprised it would break him (or at the very least, freak him out).
ALSO!! Rogier hating on "saccharine conversations" (Ch. 17) good lord. This guy cannot be real with anyone. Rogier refuses to show vulnerability because:
1. He was raised like that (the whole attachment theory thing) 2. He will absolutely break if he does
Do you guys remember when Fia tells Magdalene that "dear Rogier began to weep as he spoke" (Ch.14)? Fia saw through Rogier's walls through the cracks and he just absolutely breaks down. (Get yourself a man who, after "embracing" tells you all about this thing he's obsessed about and then cries because of it)
It's a mortifying ordeal, that someone's able to see through the walls you've meticulously put up. It hits something deep within that he’s tried to bury.
Despite the walls he puts up people other than Fia see through them. Magdalene (Ch.7) was able to see through the small cracks that have broken, and Roderika... hoo she really hit a nerve didn’t she? (But it also hit one of her nerves too, Rogier vs Roderika am I right?)
Chapter 17 analysis
Also, while we’re on the topic of Roderika, let's talk about chapter 17! Seems I have a lot to talk about.
I absolutely love this chapter so much, it gives us so much insight into Rogier's backstory and the way he thinks. His noble background really shines through here, with how he acts with Roderika who is a fellow ex-noble too.
"His grin is wide and carefree, but it rather feels like he's baring his teeth. There’s no room for your pity here." -Chapter 17
This guy cannot accept any sign of sympathy/compassion with anyone. It's all pity to him, and he absolutely hates pity. Once Roderika starts to console him too it sickens him and it makes him bare his teeth like an animal, his baser instinct showing just a little bit.
He’s probably bore his teeth to other nobles in the court, or whatever meetings they have with one another. Small threats that get the message across by a vicious smile, is something he is all too familiar with.
I also think that it's a little bit funny how he gives advice to Roderika but then is also a little bit of a hypocrite about it
“It’s hard, to leave it behind. But the old world will keep its claws in you, if you let it.” -Chapter 17
Rogier while it's not his past life that he's stuck but rather, he is stuck on Lorens. Even though Rogier is no longer Lorens' student, even though Lorens is dead, he still has his claws on Rogier. It's his entire motivation, why he's in a "pathetic" state now. He isn't letting those claws go, he lets them dig deeper within him, and they dig in deep.
“You already have it within you," he says. "They were only trying to bury it.” -Chapter 17
Rogier immediately buries his own emotions in this interaction when Roderika tries to console him lol. Just based off of him being an ex-noble and his whole family thing, it's well established that he is very much used to burying it all down his gullet. I mean, is it really Rogier without emotional suppression?
Also Rogier tends to close off all the matters that relate to what he feels in his dialogue both in game and in SWRD. This guy cannot let out just a slight moment of vulnerability
A Color Theory Thing on my read on Rogier's garb:
Rogier, with his background being grounded in nobility has suppressed his baser desires in exchange for meaningless political schemes that have only brought him misery. Yet after coming to these lands, he finds himself with Lorens.
He wears a Raya Lucarian Robe and it has red on it. It's a sign of baser instincts being shown for once. He has grown an infatuation with Lorens despite being his student.
Yet, Rogier is still mostly blue, and he still suppresses that baser desire that he’s developed, that infatuation for Lorens. He never once builds up the courage to be able to tell Lorens what he feels. He would always bury those feelings down, and as a result he can't let go of it. It's far too deep to be buried back up.
But once Lorens has died, Rogier changes too.
He exchanges those garbs for yellow and turquoise (I think?). He's a mix of colors and beliefs.
He still has the blue in the turquoise, which symbolizes calm, intelligence, and emotional control (you can’t spell Rogier without emotional control) But turquoise isn't just blue, it also has green.
Green represents growth, life, and new beginnings. This is a new beginning for Rogier, who's set out for a new goal, to be able to save those who live in death (and perhaps give them life? Not so sure on that but in SWRD that seems to be the case with Lorens).
It's balanced by yellow. Creativity and originality, he's almost the only person we meet who wants to save TWLID. Not only that but yellow also symbolizes illness, which could be a foreshadowing of what happens to him later in his life.
It's not just sickness though, yellow also symbolizes deception. Rogier lies, but I necessarily think he's someone who is always deceptive. He's more like the type of guy who would lie so that an encounter would go well or not hurt someone else's feelings. I think he's like that from that whole ex-nobility thing he's got going on. Political schemes and lying through a smile is something that he's familiar with. (It also doesn't help that he keeps being emotionally suppressed too lol)
Cowardice is another. Rogier is scared to tell anyone about his emotions, to take that risk of being honest with someone. His background in nobility and his family definitely doesn't help either.
Rogier had been too scared to be true to Lorens and tell him his feelings, and because of that, he would never be able to. I feel like he's avoided it even more afterward. He refuses to take that jump of being honest with someone, whether it's about his emotions or his ideals, he doesn't let them go.
But when he does? With D, it completely breaks off everything they've had. Everything that they could have been.
"Beguiled fool. A rotten, sick bastard. Fouled by them. A wicked, two-faced user. Heartless. Loathsome parasite. How could he? Were they not supposed to set this crooked world straight? Profane. A perversion of honor. A madman." -Chapter 5
“Get out of my sight.” “I’m sorry.” He’d said, and he was. But Darian’s lips curled back, and he jerked his head away and locked his eyes on the horizon. His jaw twitched, in the moment he took to reply. “Don’t talk to me.” There was nothing he could do to fix this. To undo his mistakes, to spare Darian his intentions." -Chapter 5
It's all gone because he had been honest about his goals (presumably). This experience probably strengthened that emotional suppression so as to not be hurt/caught by surprise.
So when Magdalene, someone who wholeheartedly accepts his ideals and sees his side for once, he's cautious. He can't believe that someone can genuinely agree with him because all the times that he has been honest, he's been punished for it. (though, he reminds himself that she's not like that)
In short, this guy's a mixed bag. A mixed bag with problems
(basing this off of the Elden Ring color theory video, it was an absolute joy to watch)
[EDIT]: idk what to call this section but he seems to seek out some form of approval. Lets see how that ties in with his grief!
"He still doesn’t understand why. What did he do, specifically? Or was he just past his usefulness? Deemed unfit to rule? He never truly wanted to rule as Lord, but to be cast aside so indifferently—it had shaken him. Every now and then he fumbles with this, again and again, but he knows. He does. He knows that grace has forsaken him for good reason. He’s a heretic. An apostate. He who does not obediently bow before a faltering, decrepit Order, so ill-equipped to handle the world as it is. " -Chapter 5
"All these years. Couldn’t change a thing. Rather pathetic, I’d say—what a fool, thinking that this crooked world could be made right by mortal hands. Sure, deathblight. Truly, a fitting end for a worthless, rotten bastard." -Chapter 12
Now, speaking from some personal experience, being raised in a family that's of nobility and expects so much out of you from a young age definitely breeds some kind of self-worth issues that really stick with you. Especially if you haven't had anyone to truly support you.
Because of that, I believe that Rogier, in a way, is trying to prove his worth. But not to the Order, I think that he's in some way trying to please Lorens. Even in death.
He puts everything into his studies of Death, searching and scouring for scraps of information just to give him a single lead on anything, and for what?
"Its fulfillment will be a selfish act of altruism. These crooked lands will set right, by his hands, for a reward of nothing at all. But make no mistake: he needs another day. And another after that, and another after that. He needs his questions answered with questions, he needs his notes corrected in an unreadable hand, he needs to hear one more “Well—” followed by the most opaque, convoluted tangle of sentences ever constructed. There’s no reward he seeks, but the warm smile of cold gray eyes and a scoff about just what he’s wearing nowadays. " -Chapter 19
Rogier devotes himself to saving TWLID (saving Lorens, in reality), but it's not because it's all for selfless reasons, he seems to want things to go back to the way things used to be. Back at the Rise, with just him and Lorens once more.
I don't think Rogier ever accepted Lorens' death. He's determined to bring back Lorens, desperately trying to find a solution to bring him back no matter what.
And it’s quite hypocritical isnt it? That Rogier wants to change the Order to be able to sort of… revive Lorens from Death. To go back to the old times that they both had had.
This guy refuses to grieve and is searching (desperately) for a solution for a dead man who's probably not even good for him. Get this man some therapy
This entire post's summary is just me going:
Anyway, that's all for my crazy rambles! I can't wait to see how SWRD will progress, and how everyone will intermingle and grow with one another (Rogier and Mags)!!!! :0)
Have some doodles + a WIP that I'll probably never finish as a treat for reading this! (Mag's torso was wayyy too long on the second one oops)
(bonus boggart because I love him)
#not gonna talk about d yet#I don't want to assume too much about him just yet#but d is really interesting and i absolutely love this take on him and his grief :0) (not that I've read any other d fics.)#Rogier is so damn complicated#like. he's got so many problems like. dude get a grip and get a therapist#mags reel him back in and send him to the therapy office while ur at it#sorry if u guys cant understand my insanity... it cannot be contained#or else ill explode into pink glitter and my blood splattered all across the room#hhhh maybe ill edit this later i have to do some stuff :(#oh also unlocal if u do see this no pressure at all!! I just needed a place to be able to go crazy over ur fic lol#theres like. probably a lot I've missed but I'll make another one if I get insane again#some of this is probably incorrect and is just me reaching for an answer that doesnt exist btw#swrd#rogier#magdalene#envelope rambles#i wrote this in like. two sittings#what is happenign to me#I STILL RAMBLE IN TAGS YOU CANNOT STOP ME#the mortifying ordeal of posting#AAAA#uou guys i keep noticing things and. i just keep on fuckign ADDING MORE THINGS IN#[EDIT]: Added in rogier's self esteem into this too :3
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im so serious some t*m drake stans are so misogynistic when it comes to stephanie brown I'm not even kidding holy shit
#jay speaks#sorry. its the truth#turn tim into the victim all you want to appease your projected victim complex can we at least leave steph alone tho#like. woooooooow#ur poor little helpless little white queer boy. and the toxic abusive ex girlfriend of his. good riddance amirite#im sorry guys i cannot do this anymore. i am at my limit#some peoples attitudes towards steph are just soooooo misogynistic its insane#all to uphold and make a white (only recently confirmed) queer boy look better by comparison. what a breakthru guys ur geniuses#never before seen im in awe#i say all of this as someone who likes tim too btw. he is literally one od my faves#he is higher on my list than steph is. but like. come on guys#are we just going to forget about how much of a garbage boyfriend tim was to steph#or how badly he treated her even when they weren't dating 💀 hello#did we read the same comics. i won't say steph was perfect but like tim was an asshole lol#she was a teenaged girl and im afraid that was mostly her biggest offense. tim was a little misogynist god love him#both were young and stupid and teenagers. w/e. don't act like steph was the sole bad actor tho even in recent comics#sorry tim wasn't written to be as much of a victim as u would have liked#tag rant#no actually. gotta add. don't we just love putting down a woman to uplift the treasured mlm ship#and make it seem better. like the better option. isnt it fun to do that right#banging my head against the wall im so done with this
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I'm a big advocate of just blocking and moving on when seeing bad takes about your interests but that's mostly because I rarely travel outside the small circle of artists and mutuals I follow and ohhhh boy after having seen the worst take about a beloved blorbo I suddenly understand everything, it was like a redditer overtook my body and I almost went into a rage as I resisted the urge to "um actually" and type up an entire essay in ops comment section but I persevered. Are you all proud of me.
#im mostly being hyperbolic but gosh#it's still eating me up inside so i will continue to complain about it here in the tags lol#so just scroll away if you don't wanna see me complain about things that don't matter<3#anyway i just saw someone say how karlach worked dorna slaver and would still be working for him if he hadn't betrayed her#implying she was only against gortash because his actions directly affected her#when FIRST IF ALL SHE WAS AN ORPHANED CHILD WHO WAS MANIPULATED BY HIM#AND SHE EVEN SAID IN HER OWN WORDS THAT SHE NEVER WOULD HAVE WORKED FOR GORTASG IS SHE HAD KNOWN WHO HE TRULY WAS#SHE WAS A KID AND WORKED FOR AN AWFUL MAN AND MOST LIKELY DID SOME PRETTY MESSED UP THINGS FOR HIM THIS IS TRUE#BUT SHE WAS A CHILD AND SHE LOOKED UP TO HIM WHILE HE MANIPULATED HER SO SHE WOULD ALWAYS PROTECT HIM AND DO WHAT HE SAID WITHOUT QUESTION#then he sold her to zariel and it wasn't until it was too late did she realize how evil gortash was#im unsure if she new he was a slaver when working for him but since she was a kid with nothing it's not like she's going to fully commit to#being a morally upstanding citizen when she literally couldn't afford it#saying karlach was only against gortash because his action affected her is BLATANTLY WRONG#she has flaws and is a deeply written characters and she cares so much about other people thats on of the reasons she worked with gortash#she cared about him and he used that to his advantage#okay rant over i love u karlach im sorry people refuse to look into your charcter beyond surface level assumptions </3#babbles#dear god there are so many typos. i aint retyping all that shit tho good luck deciphering that#i say as if anyone is gonna read it sjkdkf
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sorry to people who use tone indicators but every time I see "/gen" i think the preceding message is meant to be enjoyed by general audiences
#my nonsense#then there's hj. which. wh. well u know#i can never remember what that's SUPPOSED to be#punctuation and emoticons are so much clearer 😭😭#sorry the tags turned into this but i don't want to have to break out a whole key in order to read a text afsfcjfgvhgh#if you tell me your message is hand job#well#I will simply say 'okay!' and leave it at that
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