#i was like ??? my sis literally never said anything we just started exchanging gay memes | Explore Tumblr posts and blogs

karlachismylife · 3 days ago

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I saw your post about your gender feelings. Hang in there, bud.

If it helps, I was once told that no cis person ever questions "what they are", they just are. I get the imposter syndrome though, and the disconnect between your day to day and a small haven of peace where you can be yourself. I come from a conservative background, without any of the queer influences I enjoy today.

We're constantly growing, constantly learning new things about ourselves; I think that's part of the journey of being queer, rather than any indication you don't belong or aren't queer enough. You have a significant added challenge in exploring too and I hope one day they're gone. Much love and solidarity to queer Russians. 💜🤍💛💚

Already was on the brink of tears and now am crying, mate

Thank you, that thing about cis people not questioning kinda helped actually. I was told same about mental health issues (at least those can be confirmed with a paper and a stamp, huh). So i guess yeah. True. It's just the terf rhethoric about being confused and actually just seeking a way around patriarchy and all that bullshit that gets under my skin.

I'm happy you're free from those things in your past though, gonna live out my gay dreams through you and your art then, lol <3

I think another thing that is gnawing at me is that I am actually priviledged (and/or lucky). I had a lot of queer experiences that many other queer people here are absolutely robbed of. So it feels as if I'm kinda taking what they deserve more. Or that I can't be grateful enough for being able to have these things while others can't because I'm out here not even knowing what I am.

Anyway. Love wins. And we're here, proud and queer.

Love you 1969 times, thank you.

#juju's replies #on-a-lucky-tide #gonna come back to this a lot probably #also not me reaching for my cigs every time you mention nik's homophobic background in your works #although. i kinda like to imagine he was there in the heart of the soviet queer scene sometimes.#fun fact: for some reason my very homophobic mother was the one who showed me some “gay spots” here in moscow #i have no idea how she even knew #i mean like spots queer folks were gathering at like in the 80s #sorry i ended up ranting below in the tags you don't have to read it i really appreciate your support mate #you're a real one #my queer experience is so fucking weird mate. i literally used to kiss girls out in the broad daylight few kilometers away from kremlin #but had to invent hiding spots for the pride flag and socks my friends gifted me so that mum wouldn't throw them away (she still did)#also i think my dad knew despite me never mentioning it??? he just casually dropped something like about my “boyfriend. or girlfriend”#never elaborated #and i found out my sister was queer FROM HER GAY FRIEND #AS WE WERE OGLING TRAINERS IN A ROCK CLIMBING HALL WE WENT TO TOGETHER #and he was drooling over the guy. and i was over the girl. and he was like “oh so it runs in the family”#i was like ??? my sis literally never said anything we just started exchanging gay memes #everyone at school knew what i was and yet i still had to make my fairy tales only queer coded to avoid getting taxed for “propaganda”#it's just constant cognitive dissonance #but i do still have it so so so much easier than other queer people here #hell even people i went to school with had and have it worse than me #so not like i have much to complain about #gotta get a grip and fight for them #thank u.

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