#sorry if i made stupid mistakes it was fucking long and i don't have enough strength to re-read

[ninoucheuuuh]

I will be okay - Octavia's Song

Well, i'm-not-talking-to-my-parent-kids, IF THIS ISN'T OUR NATIONAL ANTHEM

I feel like her song deserves more posts and more longer ones because it was amazing and so hurtful at the same time, and because i was so exited to hear it and well, I'M NOT DISAPPOINTED OBVIOUSLY ��✨️

(put this here if you want to listen to it again 💜🫶🏻✨️)

I'm going to start with the instrumental :

When the guitar started, I SCREAMED SO HARD, LIKE IT'S THE MOMENT I'VE BEEN WAINTING FOR, WE'RE HERE ✨️✨️✨️

I reaaaaally love the melody. It's composed by very simple chords but it hits SO FUCKING HARD.

It starts with a very soft guitar, it's the start of her confession, of the spread of her feelings. Like she started to let it out a little.

And then, BAM, THAT FUCKING BREATH. ACAPELLA, NO MUSIC. THE BREATH THAT SAYS EVERYTHING. NO WORDS NEEDED TO UNDERSTAND. All her pain, like she's suffocated by the words she kept so long. Am I the only one with tears in the eyes and a pain in the heart everytime I hear this sigh ?

And then the drums start (the transition like oh myyyyy) and the piano just like little sparkles ✨️ And you fell she starts to feel freer in the song. Especially with that beautiful "OOOOooooOOOOooooh" that leads us to a more angrier Octavia (let it out baby 😔❤️)

And after that beautiful lament, we have also an angrier instrumental with the drums, the piano (no more single notes but chords) and that electric guitar ✨️ And with her grungy voice everything feets soooo well ❤️✨️

The music when she says "You were wrong" (at 1:09) INJECT IT IN MY VEINS PLZ 🙏🏻 Same for the guitar at 1:20 when there's the explosion.

AND THEN AGAIN IN THE CHLORUS AT 1:28 THE GUITAR 😭❤️🙏🏻✨️ It gives me tears 🥹❤️ Like a lament and like it goes lower

Also when she says "And when you'll gone I will be okay" it gives me soooo much Creep by Radiohead vibe, especially the "okaaaaaaaay" which sounds so similar to the "weirdoooooooo" and I love it because I think that this vocal is so beautiful ❤️✨️

And then again the guitar (so beautiful 🥹❤️🙏🏻) before the heart's scream

And when she sings there's those little high-pitched notes on the piano and the drums (amazing ✨️)

And it's calm again, the guitar only, like in the begging. It's the end of this escape, we come back in that little closet with Via and her guitar. Those notes, so soft, to highlight her beautiful voice, so sweet, like a caress for the ears, so real, so painful 🥺💔✨️

Also, obviously, the song in general gives a "You will be okay" vibe

(Well, I know it's not a very accurate analysis, it could be more specified but well. It's more a "what I feel while listening to it" and English is not my native language so it's more difficult for me to express exactly what I have in mind. But it's something that I really like to do with one of my friend with songs that we love sooooo)

Now, the lyrics and that beautiful voice that got my heart 🥹❤️✨️ :

Your boxes packed up on the bed Your words are in my head Tellin' me it will be okay You'll remember what you said Or was it just another lie ? [Sigh]

Obviously, the "you will be okay" ref yet. The confort words of her dad are still stuck in her head. And her voice, sooooo beautiful 🫶🏻✨️ When she's reaching higher notes, her voice is so soft. The way she's saying "youuuuu saaaaid" is so pure, same for "just another lie", it also highlights these words. I'd like to focus especially on that line.

The fact that she's says "another lie" is interesting, because that's implying that there are far many more than 1 or 2. Well, of course, the most obvious is the "Will you go with him and leave me behind ?" one. I don't think that she really places Stolas's lullaby as a lie - what i mean is that it's not a huge one -, because later in the song, she says it herself, "I will be okay". Even though it's difficult, she's strong enough to face it.

In my opinion, I think that she may have realised that something was wrong, long beforce the divorce and all. Because, first, she had kind of clues in Loo Loo Land. I'm thinking about this moment :

"She's always been... I haven't been... We weren't in..." Even if Stolas fails explaining to Via what's wrong with Stella, there are still words that call the attention. Especially the "always". It's not recent. Also, I think that Stella and Andrealphus' recent reactions may lead her to that point. Yes, Octavia can't even imagine what Stolas has endured with her mother for sure. Stolas never told her about their problems before. But she's not stupid, and I think she may suspect deeper problems. The "another lie" is a big package for all failed promises and non-told things.

And I must mention again that deep sigh again because it's so hurtful and doesn't fail represent her feelings 🥺💔

This place that used to be your home Would you call me on the phone ?Will I hear your voice in the middle of the night when I turn off the lights ? Or are you just another ghost ?  Oh-oh, oh-oh-oh

"When I turn off the lights" her voice is so pure and sweet when she sings high notes ✋️😔✨️ Again a cute reference to Loo Loo Land in that line, when she's calling Stolas in the middle of the night and he comes to confort her with the lullaby ❤️✨️

Using the word "ghost" was really to ripp our hearts, wasn't it ? 😭💔

And that BEAUTIFUL "OOOOoooOOOOooooh" SO MAJESTIC ❤️✨️ Like a scream. The grown sigh of the first verse, because she's starting to let it all out, it's taking more and more place. Barrett Wilbert Reed, my english is too bad to explain the amazing artist you are 🫵😔❤️✨️

How could you lie to my face ? And did our time mean nothing to you ? Were you bluffing all along ? That you would be there to see Yourself forgiven by me If you thought that I'd take it, you were wrong Oh, you were wrong

My my my, the way she sings that "all alooOOoong" is just amazing. And she has that kind of grungy voice just- sorry i'm just dying right now her voice is incredible 😭❤️✨️ Also the two "you were wroooOOOooong" are just killing me. You feel that she's angry. Because she feels abandoned, betrayed and because she feels like Stolas doesn't trust her enough to tell her clearly the things. And you feel that she's so in pain, so angry and so sad at the same time. The second "wrong" feels like a tear, you can almost hear a paper ripped in pieces 😭💔

Again we find all those stuff about the lies etc like before. Also, she wants to show that even tough she's hurt, she's strong enough to face it. But i will come to it in the chorus.

And when you're gone, I will be okay I will be okay, though I'll never be the same And I'll know that I was right to doubt you I'll grow without you, and you'll only know my name

The way she sings the two first line, so confident, is amazing. 💜✨️ And HERE, in her voice, even in the way she moves (her clenched fist), she shows that she IS strong. She's not anymore the little girl she was. She's confident. She assumes her pain, that Stolas' decision and hers will change her forever, but she will get up.

And that's clearly a thing that Stolas don't understand, and we see it by the way he talked about the divorce with her : he said nothing. Why ? He wanted to shelter her. Yes, as a parent, your role is to shelter you child. But comes a time where your child is old and mature enough to understand and bear tough subjects. And Via is totally ready to hear Stolas' story with Stella.

And when you're a child and your parents keep saying that you can't handle it, it's fucking horrible and make you so mad. And I know it by experience, as a divorced-parents-child. Aaah, the "It doesn't concern you, it's between your mother/father and I." Well, fuck you, because i'm the first victim of that fucking shitty relationship, I have the right to know what is happening. And Via must feel the same.

The way she sings the two last lines is so heartbreaking. 😭💔 You can feel that it comes from the deepth of her lungs. She's letting it out, all her pain, all her anger. Let it out my precious girl, let it out 🫶🏻😔❤️✨️ And her voice is so beautiful god, kinda grungy. It brings tears in my eyes everytime 🥺😭💔✨️

And, one of my three favourite lines, the most powerful one in my opinion : "I'll grow without you and you'll only know my name".

First, because it's just awful : they'll spend one hundred years without seeing each other. They have such a bond since the first day of her life. And all of this would be ruined. And it's just- so sad and hard that i can't hold my tears ✋️🥺

Second, because as a i'm-not-talking-to-my-father-child, it feels so relatable. I feel it so deep and so real. And i know that my fellows feel it also 🫵✨️

In short, I took the decision to not seeing/talking anymore to my dad for 4/5 years now. I just kept contact with my half-sister and my half-brother. He was a bitch to my mother all the time they spent together (it's really in short okay 😭) and in the year when they divorced (i was still talking to him), I barely saw him because he was going to see her girlfriend in another country (but like, ALL the weekends, of course he didn't sleep home, and when i called him he was not answering). We were close, but not that much, and i can say that during that year where i only saw him a little, I felt a distance. And then, when he threw my mother out, I choosed to not see him anymore. Recently, I've been to my sister's wedding (i was so fucking scared to go because i was terrified to see my grandmother again) and i saw him again. He didn't even come to say "hello" (i wasn't hurt don't worry, just suprised). And when I thought that yes, I'm a stranger to him now. Even if he loves me stil - which honestly i don't fucking know and i don't fucking care -, he doesn't know me anymore. He's missing the most important years of my life, where i changed a lot and i discovered completely myself, etc. Now, he doesn't know my tastes, my favourite colour, my friends, how i'm doing at school... He only knows my name.

And that's exactly what may happen between Stolas and Octavia. And the way she sings it makes it even more heartbreaking 💔

You always told me I'd be okay Well, I'll be okay, though I'm not okay today But my tears won't fall upon your shoulder I'll just get older and you'll only know my name

That verse. Her voice. So soft, so broken, so painful. Those sweet high notes with that soft guitar- my heart can't handle it 😭💔

The "though i'm not okay today" really shows her strength. She's not at her best now, and all those events have hurt her. But she will be okay. She will get back on het feet. She's brave enough and you feel the resilience and the confidence in her voice 💜🫶🏻✨️

My other favourite line : "But my tears won't fall upon your shoulder". With her voice, so soft, so sweet, so pure, reaching those lovely and painful high notes and the sound of her tears dropping. The line itself is just heartbreaking. You will no be here anymore to confort me, so I will find an other way to confort me on my own. You feel her pain 😭💔

And just to stab our hurt even more : "I'll just get older and you'll only know my name", always with that beautiful and heartbreaking voice 💔

I'm not going to talk about the animation because, well, that post is long enough and some people have already done that better than i would, but i put some screeshots here just for the pleasure :

Look how beautiful she is i love her so much 💜🫶🏻✨️

The animation is so sad with the "Or are you just another ghost ? OOOOoooOOOoooh" I sobbed while re-watching it 🥺😭

We don't talk enough about this part THE ANIMATION WAS INSANE LIKE MIND BLOWING ✨️✨️✨️ (it reminds me so much Just Look My Way, when Stolas holds the moon and the "camera" turns around him).

This song is amazing and so powerful. The voice, the interpretation, the instrumental, the references, the fact that it's a reponse to Stolas' Lullaby... I relate to it so much, and I'M PROUND to be represented by Via, my girl 💜🫶🏻✨️

"You will be okay", "I will be okay", you know what comes next : if they don't do a fucking duet when they'll make up, i swear i will put my city on fire. Bryce and Barrett have such amazing voice, and a duet will be just like a blessing - and the dead of us but don't worry, we will be okay 👌🏻✨️

[c0n-fus3d]

𝚂𝚑𝚎 𝙻𝚒𝚔𝚎𝚜 𝙰 𝙱𝚘𝚢.

(Older!Powder x fem!reader)

I'm sorry but I finished ep 1 of act 3 and had to write this to get my emotions out about ekko and powder being a thing in an alternative reality bcz just RAHHHFHSHEHSHHS my gay ass is crying (no offense to the timebomb shippers, you do you!! If you like this that's cool💪💪) ENGLISH ISN'T MY NATIVE LANGUAGE, IF I MADE SOME SPELLING MISTAKES I'M SORRY ALSO SPOILERS FOR ACT 3!!

Warnings: uhhh just angst, mostly angst, this is for my girlies who might be feeling the same

༺ღ༒ ༺ღ༒ ༺ღ༒ ༒ღ༻

You've always liked Powder, every since you were kids, and still when you are teenagers.

Their was always something about her. The way she made the most creative inventions, the way she always seemed to have some sort of spark in her eyes. Her laugh, her hair, her eyes, it's hard for you to explain the feelings you have towards her.

You knew the way Vi's death was heavy on her, you could see that with the days, and soon years that came after. You we're always trying to be there to support her, make her feel a little better. You gave her space when she needed it, and we're there for her when she needed you the most.

And then there was Ekko.

You never hated Ekko, you 𝙙𝙤𝙣'𝙩 hate Ekko. he was a good guy, you got along with him. He was around Powder nearly just as much as you we're, maybe even a little more. When you were around Powder, he wouldn't take long to show up as well. You didn't mind.

But you couldn't deny that you we're jealous of him, of Ekko. The way he charmed his way into Powder's heart over the years. With his sketches, ideas, personality, kindness and understanding. You wanted what him and Powder had as if what you already had wasn't enough for you. You could see the way she looked at him, how 𝙝𝙚 looked at her the same way.

You often wished it was you instead of him. You try to forget about your jealousy, push it asside. You try to push your jealousy and selfishness asside, keep everything natural between you three. But it got harder and harder the more time went on.

Ekko has been acting strange recently, or at least that's what Powder told you. How he 'seems not to remember anything' and how he says these things about how in a dream her and Vi we're completely different. You noticed yourself too, how he was more around then usual. You assumed it was because of his project or whatever.

Now you find yourself here, on the dance floor in the last drop. Inventions around you everywhere as music and colorful lights fill the bar. You look into the crowd, trying to spot Powder. It took you a whole 5 minutes to finally spot her, but to no suprise, Ekko was there. On the dance floor, with her. Dancing together to the beat of the music like it was just the two of them. You tried to move your eyes away from the sight, let them be happy and together. But the jealousy ate you from the inside out, this all just left a bitter taste on your tongue. It all got so overwhelming so quickly, so you decide to leave the place before you explode and do something stupid.

So you decide to go out to Powder's little Hideout for now and go back once you've cooled down. You look at the massive invention across the room, stunned as fuck how they made this. You don't want to pay too much attention to it though, so you continue walking through the massive space before sitting down in front of the small memorial that Powder made for Vi.

You lighten the place up before just.. Sitting there. You sigh, looking at the picture sat on the desk. Vi always knew you had a thing for Powder, she always encouraged you to tell her how you felt. Whenever the situation was on your mind, you'd go here. You'd talk, like she was still there. Because to you, she was. To everyone, she still was. Now wasn't any different, you talked about what has been going on recently. With Ekko, Powder, and everything else.

"I just.. Don't know what to do, I know I'm supposed to be happy for them.. Ekko is a great guy, a-and if they become a thing, I'll be fine with it but.. Theirs this voice in the back of my mind that just doesn't seem to go away.." You groan, your head in your hands as you thought for a moment.

You knew you couldn't hide your feelings forever. If Powder wasn't going to feel the same way towards you, you might as well tell her what you've been feeling all this time. Just for an answer, a yes or a no. Anything. If she didn't feel anything as well then at least she'd know.

"I'll tell her, tonight. Like you always wanted me to do.. I'll.. I'll get this over with, okay? For you."

You found yourself walking back towards the last drop, but then you see Powder, going in the direction of what you knew to be the place where Vi always took her to. So you decided to follow.

If only you weren't blind enough to see Ekko walking along with her.

You climbed up to the place, heart racing in your chest as you tried to think about the things you could say. Your mind was running a million miles and you tried desperately to calm your nerves.

You we're finally gonna do it, you we're gonna tell her how you feel.

But just as you nearly reach the top, you see her. And Ekko.

Their kissing.

In front of your eyes.

Your heart dropped, hope that you knew was useless in the end shattered as you saw the image.

Wrong fucking timing. You stood there, frozen in time before quickly getting out of there. Trying to hold back the tears that we're threatening to fall.

She likes Ekko. She only likes Ekko. It was never you. Not in childhood, not in teenage years.

She likes a boy. That boy.

Your not that boy, and for now, you had to live with that.

You we're never going to being the one kissing her. It was always going to be him in the end.

[mxqdii]

Theodore nott or Mattheo riddle x Gryffindor fem! Reader fluff and maybe soft smut and she’s reading in his lap while he’s leaning against the bedpost reading with her holding the book and Turing the pages while she keeps reading it and it’s super smutty and she just traces his arm veins while they read (and if you decide to make it smutty pls make the reader LOVE LOVE LOVE his hands, abs, arm viens-) can it be a longer fic?

I love ur work so so so much!!

the tension - m.s (18+)

pairings: mattheo riddle x gryffindor reader

summary: i know it's wrong, but it feels so right.

warning(s): hand kink, hickeys, kissing, dry humping

(this fic is giving slow down by chase atlantic)

not proofread

the smoke of mattheo's cigarette making the air thick and hazy, me sat in his lap reading my book.

we have a little challenge going on at the moment, which was his stupid idea

basically we see who can last the longest without kissing, sex, touching.

it's one hell of a teasing game

i let out a shakey breath as i turn the page of my book, mattheos hands on my thighs.

his thumb starts making circular motions, moving closer to my inner thigh.

my breath hitches and i can almost feel the smirk on his face

"mattheo.." i say shakily

"what is it princess?" he asks

i sigh, trying to shift my attention back onto the book, but getting distracted by his fingers, the veins on his arms, everything about him.

"see something you like?" he says and i grab his hand, staring in amusment.

i trail my fingers over the veins, going all the way up to his upper arm

"oh so thats what you're into?" he says, throwing the book somewhere across the room.

he flips me over, hovering over me, my hands pinned.

"the bet" i remind him, which was a mistake

his hands start trailing all over my body, making me feel overheated

"mm, i'm sorry princess but i'm not one to loose a bet i made, so either give in or we might just have to continue reading" he says and i groan

"oh thats right, gryffindors are supposed to have determination right? thats a shame on your part" he says, getting off of me making me scoff

"mattheo that is not fair!" i whine and he looks at me in confusion

"it's the deal we made" he responds and i roll my eyes

i try to ignore that feeling in my stomach, but i can't i need his hands, all over me.

i need to feel him.

i hesitatingly get up and throw a leg across mattheo's lap, straddling him

his hands grab my waist and my desire fills more and more with lust

"fuck the bet mattheo, i loose okay? i loose-" before even finishing my sentence, he grabs the back of my hair, pulling me in to kiss him

the desire that was originally on my lips now soothing, letting myself go on autopilot as he takes over.

he flips me over again, him now being on top of me

he starts trailing kisses down my neck as i let out heavy breaths

i've been without him for so long, the feeling of him on top of me enough to leave me sated.

he takes his shirt off as well as mine and he grabs my hips, sitting me on top of his lap, this time facing him

his hands glued on my waist as he starts kissing my neck again, causing me to jut my hips forward.

all of a sudden, i start grinding on him, his hands guiding me through it.

"fuck dont stop" he hisses in pleasure

i feel that knot in my stomach forming quicker than expected, tolerance to pleasure not as high as it used to be because of the bet

i throw my head back, trying to keep quiet

"let me hear you" he says and i let out a whine, our thrusts in rhythm now, hitting my heat perfectly.

"i-i-" i try to speak but fail, the pleasure being overwhelming

"cum for me baby" he whispers in my ear

feeling every part of my body tense up, speeding up to meet an unforgiving pace.

his hands gripping harder on my waist send me and him over the edge, letting go completely.

he groans, cursing out profanities and i let out a long whine

i rest my head on his chest, letting out shakey breaths

"good girl" he says, stroking my hair.

i don't know how i lasted through that bet, i'm never gonna be able to go a day without mattheo again.

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@stargirlv0id

[glorious-spoon]

a miserable pile of secrets [9-1-1 | Eddie Diaz & Hen Wilson | 1/1]

1.8K words | friendship | emotional hurt/comfort | implied/referenced cheating

a miserable pile of secrets [on AO3]

She finds Eddie up on the rooftop, which makes sense, given that Buck is currently working out his feelings on the heavy bag after Bobby finally snapped at the two of them to get their acts together unless they wanted to be benched. Chim's down in the weight room with him, which means that Hen is up here in the warm night air to talk some sense into the other half of their codependent little unit, who is currently perched on one of the folding chairs that they usually leave up here. He's as still as a statue, tense like he's afraid of what his body might do if he lets it move.

"Hey," Hen says, and he gives a jerky little nod of acknowledgement. "Mind if I sit?"

"Go ahead."

"Thanks." She pulls out one of the other chairs and sits down. "So."

"Bobby sent you."

"I sent myself," she corrects mildly, and watches Eddie's shoulders hunch a little. "I don't think I've ever seen you and Buck fight like that."

Though the truth is, she really only caught the tail end of it. Buck's frustrated voice rising on, "Do you hear yourself? How did you think this was going to work out? Have you even thought about Chris? What, you were just going to introduce him to her like—"

"Chris? Since when is how I parent my son any of your business?"

"I don't know, Eddie, you kind of made it my business when you put me in your fucking will!"

"Yeah, well, maybe that was a mistake!"

There was ringing silence in the wake of that. Then Buck said something quieter, inaudible from where Hen and Chim were standing frozen outside the locker room door, and Eddie spat, "Go to hell. I'm done talking about this."

The door slammed open and he stormed out, only pausing for a moment when he saw the two of them standing there. It wasn't until he'd already stomped up the stairs to the loft that Buck emerged, scowling.

"I don't want to talk about it," he snapped, before either of them could speak.

That was six hours ago. Neither of them has said a single word to each other since outside of the bare minimum on calls. The tension in the back of the truck has been thick enough to cut with a knife, and none of Chim's increasingly desperate jokes has done a damn thing to lighten the mood.

Hen doesn't blame Bobby for being fed up with the pair of them. She's caught somewhere between that and worry, herself. This isn't like them. Either of them.

Eddie shrugs again, tense. "I don't really feel like talking about it."

"Mm." 

Hen kicks her legs out, relaxes into the chair and waits him out. It doesn't take long. Maybe two minutes before he lets out an angry little huff and says, "Marisol dumped me this morning."

"Oh," Hen says. That explains some of the mood, anyway. "Well, I'm sorry to—"

"I cheated on her. She found out."

She closes her mouth. For a moment she just looks at him: his tight jaw, his hands in fists on his thighs, so tense he looks like he's about to snap. Like looking through a warped mirror to a younger version of herself, and maybe that's why she manages some gentleness when she says, "That doesn't sound like you."

"Yeah. That's what Buck said. Shows what he knows."

"Why'd you do it?"

"It doesn't matter. It was stupid. I fucked up."

"If you're waiting on me to tell you otherwise, you'll be waiting a while." Eddie lets out a sharp, bitter little bark of laughter, and Hen adds. "I've been there, you know."

"Yeah. But it's not—Karen forgave you."

"Eventually, yeah. She didn't have to."

"Yeah," Eddie says, and then doesn't say anything else. 

"Is that what you and Buck were fighting about?"

He shrugs again. Like talking to a damn teenager, Hen thinks. Not Denny, with his easy sweetness, but like one of the other kids who come through their home sometimes on temporary placements: already on the defensive, claws out, ready to fight. 

"I guess," he mutters finally.

"You put him in your will?" Eddie scowls at her, and she shrugs. "Hey, if you want it to be a secret, maybe don't have your domestics at the top of your lungs in the locker room we all use."

He scoffs, clearly annoyed, but doesn't get up and storm off, so she's counting that as a win. Finally, he says, "Yeah. He's down as Chris's legal guardian if something happens to me. Since—uh, since I almost died in that well collapse a few years back."

Oh. Hen contemplates that for a moment, squares it up in her head with what she already knows about Eddie. It's not, she'll admit, completely out of left field. But still. "And you think maybe that was a mistake?"

Eddie groans, dropping his head back. "I shouldn't have said that. I didn't mean it."

"Maybe you should tell Buck that."

"He's pissed at me."

"Seems mutual."

"Yeah," Eddie says, wry and still kind of irritated. But then he sighs. "You ever do something where you know the whole time you're doing it that it's going to blow up in your face, and somehow that still doesn't stop you?"

"Yep," Hen says, remembering a dark little motel room and the sharp cut of Eva's smile. A whole damn pile of fuck-ups, that relationship was, and she dragged it along with her to almost ruin the best thing in her life.

"I keep thinking I see Shannon. It's like she's just around the corner, like if I turn around fast enough, she'll be there, and I'll be able to go back and make it right. But I can't."

"No. You can't."

"It's been five fucking years."

"No timeline on grief."

"I went on a date with a woman just because she looked like her." Hen raises her eyebrows at him. He slouches lower in his seat. "A couple of dates. It—didn't end well."

"Mm. You mean because she turned out to be a whole damn person who wasn't Shannon, or because your girlfriend found out?"

"Both," Eddie mutters. "Believe me, I already heard it from Buck."

"Oh, I believe it."

"But he's—" Eddie snaps his mouth shut.

"Kind of a hypocrite on this particular subject?" Hen offers.

"That's not what I was going to say. He's with Tommy now. So."

"So?"

"Never mind. It doesn't matter."

Hen would dearly love to interrogate that line of thinking, but she keeps her mouth shut. For a little while, they don't speak. It's a transient kind of peace; their next call could come at any minute. But for now, the city's as quiet as it ever is, lit up and beautiful in the distance.

Eventually, Eddie shifts in his chair, straightens up like he's bracing for something, then says, abruptly, "Can I ask you a personal question?"

Hen raises her eyebrows. "Go ahead."

"Have you ever been with a guy?"

"Excuse me?"

"Forget it," he says quickly, hunching in on himself again. "I don't even know why I asked. You can tell me to go to hell."

She almost does tell him to go to hell. Has her mouth open and everything. But then she takes another good look at his face and lets the words dissipate. 

"No," she says finally. "Kissed a couple of boys in high school, but I pretty much always knew it wasn't for me."

"Oh." Eddie's mouth twists. He's still staring a hole in the concrete by his feet, and Hen wishes like hell that this was easier for him, that he could have stumbled into it with wide eyes and open arms without leaving a trail of wreckage in his wake. Buck managed it, but it's not like that for everyone. She knows that.

"Karen was engaged to a man, you know," she says, and she watches him still, watches him turn, finally, to look at her. 

"I didn't know that."

"It was a long time ago. College sweetheart. She called it off a week before the wedding. Broke his damn heart, from what I hear. Probably better in the long run, though, all things considered."

Eddie laughs at that, a raw, horrible little sound. "I was a bad husband to Shannon. I loved her so much, and I still could never—and I always thought that maybe, if we'd just had more time, maybe I could have gotten it right, and we could have been a family again, and it would have been okay."

"But she died."

"She asked me for a divorce."

"Oh." Hen takes a breath, lets it out. Careful, careful. "I didn't know that."

"Nobody knows that. I mean. Bobby does. But nobody else. Because she died two days later, so I never had to—to tell anyone. I never had to admit it. I could keep pretending. But it doesn't even matter, because I've also fucked up every relationship I've been in since. So it's kind of obvious where the problem is."

"Mm. You know what my mama used to say?"

Eddie cuts her a look. "What?"

"Get down from that cross, we need the wood."

When he laughs this time, it sounds a little more real. Hen nudges her knee against his, and for a minute they sit there together in silence.

"I fucked up," he says again, but it's calmer.

"Yep."

"What the hell do I say to Buck?"

Not Marisol, Hen notes. Though the truth is she's pretty sure that whole relationship was dead and gone long before whatever went down this morning. Maybe from the very beginning. Eddie's just got a bad habit of dragging those corpses around. "Sorry might be a good start."

"He's gonna ask why. I don't have a good answer. I can't—" He looks over at her, and all Hen can think is that he looks so damn young. "I can't."

"So tell him that. You know he's not gonna push it."

"Yeah, he will."

"He's worried about you."

Eddie scoffs. "Yeah."

That was, Hen surmises what the fight was about in the first place. Unstoppable force, immovable object. Sometimes she wishes she could just knock their stubborn heads together until they showed some sense.

"He loves you," she says, and Eddie flinches.

"I know that," he mutters.

Hen sighs. "Just talk to him. You don't have to tell him anything you're not ready to tell him, but just—talk to him. Okay? For all our sakes."

"Yeah, okay," Eddie says, sounding defeated. "Sorry about that."

"We'll survive," Hen says. She bumps her knee against his again, and they sit there together in silence, watching the city lights, until the bell starts going off below.

[wolfish-trickster]

Pen pal

Geto x fem!reader

College AU

Word count: 12,6K

Summary: After your meme post about your STEM studies is noticed by a kind stranger the two of you start a conversation and become internet friends.

Warnings: cussing, typos, grammar mistakes, probably not accurate for all colleges since I'm using mine as a reference, fluff, angst, slowburn, eventual smut (i'm bad at writing it so sorry)

A/N: wanted to write angsty af, but turned to smut.... enjoy and don't get used to it 😂

You hit send and stretch on your chair, your spine cracks after sitting down and hunching over your laptop for so long. It wasn't the healthiest but once you started writing you couldn't stop. Words in your begged you to let them out into the world. Or rather your final essay.

It took a while but it was finally finished. A week in advance, might you add. With this thing off your hands you could finally relax and concider the first year of your college to be officially over. All finals done and graded, no fails or retakes. And you have three months of doing absolutely nothing before you.

You smiled looking at the mail to the professor, your essay attached and secured.

Wait a minute.

The file you saved and attached has a different name than your final version.

You panic, quickly attach the file titled "final draft" and write: I'm sosorry mr prof i acidentally sentd the wrong file, this is the corr.rect one.

Only after you hit send did you notice all the typos but frankly you didn't care. Even this little embarassment was way better than your little what you deem funny notes written everywhere in your essays. It's like a fun excercise for you, using humor to keep your brain from falling asleep and potentionally hitting a block.

"Calm down heart, everything is okay," you whisper to yourself, "look, the correct version is there. Now you can start a summer break. So please, stop beating so fast."

But your heart knew something you didn't yet and kept rapidly beating. You stared at the new mail. The correct file was right there so why-

You didn't copy the conclusion from the draft to the final file. You checked the final draft just in case and sure enough the three paragraphs you wrote ten minutes ago weren't there.

"How can I be this fucking stupid?!" you cussed at yourself while you were pressing ctrl, c and v keys fixing your mistake.

This time you took deep breaths, wrote gramatically correct apology, attached the correct file (which you opened before you attached it) and finally hit send.

You finally calmed down. Now that you think about it the poor professor of yours will be so confused but amused as well. You chuckled to yourself and already formed a meme in your head.

After couple of minutes it was shining proudly on your laptop screen:

Maybe it was the sleep deprived state you were in or the hilarity of your dumbness but right now you though this was the funniest meme you've ever created. You proudly logged on your tumblr account and posted it.

Your blog was relatively small, only reblogging interesting pictures and almost never making your own original posts. And even those you did make didn't get any recognision so you started treating it as your own personal diary. Venting about stuff that went wrong in your life, making memes either about things happening to you or after your brain once again made a weird connection between two subjects discussed in class. Almost no one but you found them funny, hence the lack of notes under your posts but you stopped caring a long time ago. You found them funny and it was all that mattered.

But now all that matter was you finally getting a good night's sleep with no stress, no alarm waking you up early to study, absolutely nothing.

Being dumb as always you forgot to turn off your usual 7am alarm. Groaning you rached for your phone and with one eye still closed you tried turning it off. Only to notice something unusual. You got a notification. From tumblr. Someone liked your post. And commented too!

All sleepiness left your body as you quickly went into the app on your phone and checked the notes.

⬛ black-swallow commented: damn and here i thought i was the only one making dumb mistakes in college 😂

For your first ever comment it was certainly...something. You didn't know whether to comment back playfully or leave it. But out of pure curiosity you commented back.

@ black-swallow yeah nah, there are more of us. Btw what was the dumbest thing you did?

The reply would probably take a while, if ever, so you started your morning routine: skin care, brush your teeth, hair, etc.

As you sat down with your breakfast you checked the notes and surprisingly your new buddy commented back.

⬛️ black-swallow: i basically did the same thing you did with your essay, but i did it with my application. Had to send it four times...

You almost spit out your water. Four times? Poor fella. Must've been so stressed.

@ black-swallow oh that sounds really stressful. But hey you got in in the end!

⬛️ black-swallow: yeah, and got kicked out too :')

Okay now's the time to stop talking, unless you want to embarass yourself even further. Cringing at yourself you closed the app and turned off your phone. First person you interacted with on that god darn app and you embarass yourself like that. Unbelievable.

After finishing breakfast you had no plans for the day. Other than enjoying your fellow freshmen stress about their finals which you since long passed. You just propped up your legs and relaxed. Until you heard another tumblr notification.

But this time it was a dm.

Sorry to bother you like this but can i ask what does bioarcheology mean? Sounds terrifying.

"Calm down," you said to yourself, "it's just a dm, nothing difficult. Besides this person sounds nice. They don't know you, they can't see you, they can't hurt you."

The years of your parents beating your head with 'don't talk to strangers online' went out the window the moment you replied to the very first person reaching out to you through internet.

Nothing interesting really, i picked that class for extra credit anyways 😅

The reply came in imediately. You and this person must be in the same timezones. How lucky!

Come on, don't be so humble. When i passed my first scary sounding class i was talking about it to everyone willing to listen

Well, what was your scary sounding class then?

Biophysics

Holy 💀 physics alone is hell but mixing it with biology as well?

Ikr? Honestly some lectures were really interesting but others were like a lullaby for me 😴

I understand, some bioarcheology lectures were boring for me too. By the way what college are you on?

*were. Medicine.

Sorry, i forgot 😣 and yeah, should've guessed... sorry

Hey it's okay. And don't apologize, maybe things were supposed to be like this

What do you mean?

I wasn't feeling very well on that school, i just didn't wanna quit in the first year. And before you ask i dropped out after second

So you were forcing yourself to stay on a school you didn't like anymore for two years?

Yup. Everyone else had gotten to the schools they wanted and loved it, i felt like i was wasting my time but if i left willingly only after a year i would be a year behind everyone else. So i left it up for fate

And fate decided to kick you out

True to that. But i still like science, just not the medicine part of it...

After studying biophysics i'm not even surprised...

It took your college drop out some time to write a reply so you made yourself a cup of your favourite tea, force of habit since you studied with it too. So far you're starting to like texting with some complete stranger. Getting to know their story. Is this why people casually slide into others' dms?

Your friend finally replied.

Sorry, my roommate needed help with packing. As for your last message there were lots of other classes that were equally if not harder than biophysics, but all of them either dealt with anatomy or physiology which is basically memorizing. When it comes to finding patterns and math and using logic i'm pretty slow

You chuckled and typed a reply.

You'd like it on my college then. Lots of memorizing, very little logic. Which sucks for me because i'm the exact opposite 😂

Well, now that i'm a free man and know an insider i just might apply 👀

So now that you know he's a man. Okay, you can live with that. Even though you felt a tad more nervous now that you know something a bit more specific.

What's your school called?

It's the natural science one. The same city as your previous school

You vividly remember your bus passing by the best medical school in your entire country. You just hope he really was attending that one and not a different, less prestigeus one.

Natural science? So STEM in other words

Basically

Yeah i know which one. Coincidentally after highschool that one was my second choice in case med doesn't work out.

See, maybe fate wanted you in STEM all along

Haha, maybe 😂 My name's Suguru Geto by the way

I'm Y/N, nice to meet you :)

*

Summer quickly passed and the only thing you remember was your talks with Geto. They were shy and reserved at the begining, mostly starting with 'how are you?' continued with 'good, and you?' followed by some awkward silent minutes before it evolved into a deep conversation about the immortality of a cockroach.

You found out lots of things about his life. How he met his best friend in highschool, how the two of them and one other girl used to wreak havoc across the town, how they all got into the same college albait with different intentions. The girl called Shoko genuenly wanted to become a doctor dreaming about it her whole life. Geto's best friend Gojo, being very competitive but also a son of a wealthy CEO didn't need to go to a college but wanted to to be with his friends (later he admited to Geto he got into that school just to show Shoko it's not as hard as she said it was). And Geto applied because he had no idea where else to go. He liked science, biology, chemistry, being in lab, creating something new which would help the world. Med school sounded like the clear answer for him, if it wasn't for the boredom he experienced the first semester.

He told you how he struggled in some classes finding them absolutely unnecessary and beneath him, his professor condescendingly talking to them as if they were less than worm beneath the ground if they didn't know an answer. He went above and beyond to at least pass the class hoping next semester would be better. Oh how wrong he was. No matter what he did, no matter how selflessly he helped his classmates they never showed gratitude. When he upped his grade from barely passing to top of the class no one even bat an eye, as if that was a sure thing.

By the time second year came he was so mentally drained he didn't even bother to show up to classes anymore. Why bother if the teachers are just reading the text off of their powerpoint presentation and he has to learn it by himself in the end anyways?

The more he ranted to you the more you pitied him. For you STEM was the first and only path in your life, dreaming about it since you were a kid. For him though? Thinking you finally found your path only to be this utterly disappointed must've been like a stab to the back.

Getting a letter about him being expelled must've been half relieving to him and half disappointing. On one hand you have your freedom of choice back on the other you have the stress of possibly not making it in.

The entire summer wasn't just about him talking to you, no no, he was also a great listener. You complained about mundane things to him and he always answered in matter of minutes. He was always there for you, but now you were the one to be there for him as well.

Y/N i'm so stressed i feel like puking

You'll be fine, don't worry about it. If anything there are lots of plant pots on hallways for you to puke in and fertilize them ^^

As if... i'll go to the deanship like a civilized person thank you very much

Very classy geto 🙄 By the way which place holds the entrance exams? Have you found it?

B1 404, standing infront of it. Why? Did you take it someplace else last year?

No, never had to take it, had grades good enough

Show off

I know 😘

You cringed as you realized what emoji you just sent him. Force of habit from sending it to your friends whenever you manage to prank them. To your surprise he sent you back a winking AND smirking emoji. You blushed. He has never sent you anything flirty or suggestive. Why would he? The two of you didn't even know eachother that well or what the other one looked like. He could be a slimy looking weirdo with a pedo-moustache for all you knew.

Okay Y/N, gotta go now, wish me luck

Always Geto, good luck!

*

Can I ask you something?

It was weird for him to start your everyday conversation with this sentence, you thought.

Sure. Is it something about the school mister accepted?

No, don't worry, i'll get to exploiting you later 😏 I wanted to ask, what do you look like?

If the first message didn't make you blush the second one sure did. You never asked eachother about your appearance. You already made an image of him in your head. The longer you knew him the more your imagination turned him from a questionable weirdo to an almost cute nerd.

You'll see once the semester starts

You really think i can wait that long? Do you even know me? If you're shy would it be better if i showed you how i looked like first?

Yeah, that would be better.

It took couple of minutes before your screen lit up with a new message.

You almost passed out. There's no way someone can look this good in just an oversized tshirt and sweatpants. And a man bun of all things! The jawline, you were pretty sure it could cut diamonds. His eyes, narrow and sharp, with irises dark enough to not even see his pupils. And yet they seemed oddly kind to you.

The longer you looked at the selfie he sent you the more heat rushed to your face. There's no way a guy this gorgeous has been texting with you this entire summer.

That's not you

It is

It isn't! You just googled a model or something

A model you say 😏

That damn emoji will kill you one day. Before you could get a hold of yourself you got another selfie from him. This time he had a post-it note with your name on it between his lips.

Believe me now?

*

It's been a couple of days since he sent you that picture and you still haven't replied. Every morning Geto woke up and checked his phone but still no replies from you. Well, aside from a picture of a naked cat and calling it your nude.

"Your girlfriend still not talking to you?" Gojo asked.

Geto sighed. "Stop calling her my girlfriend. And yes, still nothing. I told you that last selfie would be too much for her."

Gojo took a bite from his apple. "Was worth a try," he said mouth half full of his granny smith, "didn't she send you a pic back?"

Geto showed him his phone screen and Gojo coughed out his chewed peace of apple.

"Ew, you're cleaning it," Geto jumped back from the mix of apple and spit that landed next to him on the couch.

"Hey and whose fault it is to bag a girl with an excellent sense of humor?" Gojo reluctantly went to the kitchen to get a wipe to clean up his mess. "And even if she's ugly her being funny may make up for it."

Geto sighed. "She's just a friend who happens to be my future upperclassman, I don't care if she's ugly. I mean, I'm friends with you afterall," he smirked.

Gojo showed him his tongue while pulling one of his lower eyelids down and left the living room. (A/N: what Gojo just did is like giving someone a middle finger but in japanese way)

*

You were more stressed than ever. Which was partially understandable, you're about to enter the second year of university tomorrow. The assignments, the lab reports, the midterms, the finals.... Your head was already spinning from the amount of studying that's infront of you. And they say the first year is usually the hardest.

But other than the usual fears you had another one called Geto Suguru. A guy you've been talking to the entire summer. A guy who has sent you bunch of winky and smirky faces. And his actual face. Twice.

Since then you'd talked sporadically. Not that he was pestering you about your own face reveal, he was oddly conciderate about you not wanting to show yourself to him just yet. Both of you were just busy. You with buying new supplies for all your classes and him with probably the same.

It wasn't that you thought of yourself as ugly or anything. On your best days you even thought of yourself as quite cute. But compared to other girls around you... you just fell into the background. Forever the side character.

Either way, the closer it got to the first day of the semester the more messages from him blew up your phone every day. Stuff as "where is the xyz class" or "does this professor take attendance every lecture?" was on a daily basis now. Gone were the deep talks or good mornings that made your heart skip a beat even before you knew what the guy sending you these messages even looked like. But you couldn't blame him. New environment. New people. If you were in his place you'd probably act the same.

For the last time you checked your phone for new messages from him. Aside from the one thanking you for a map of the campus nothing new. He must've gone to sleep already, you thought.

Checking your backpack for the last time before bed has soothed your thoughts about possibly bumping into your internet friend tomorrow. You finally went to bed.

*

The bus is usually empty whenever you take it to school. Which you thank all gods for because it's a thirty minute drive and with the amount of walking you still have to do to get to the school you were greatful for always finding an empty seat. Sitting by the window as usual, looking at all those different people going about their morning routine. Kids of all ages going to schools, adults either nervously honking at the car infront of them or taking their dog for a walk with no care in the stressed out world around them. You were stuck inbetween these two worlds. Still burdened with school work but also with adult chores. Stuck in your own personal limbo.

The bus turned right. A huge light blue building appeared in the corner of your eye. Outside the window was the medical school you always passed by kn your way to school. The same medical school your new friend attended few months ago. You started to wonder about him for the first time that day and your usual angxiety returned. How will you meet? And when? Would it be today? Should you approach him if you see him? How will he react?

Your train of thoughts came to a stop just like the bus. Outside the window at the bus stop stood a familiar modelylike face. The same face you took a screenshot of and stared at every day since he sent it to you.

Suguru Geto boarded the same bus. Eyes still half asleep never even looked your direction. He took a seat right infront of you giving you a perfect view of his luscius hair tied in a half up bun. You stared at him as if he was a ghost. You weren't ready to meet him this soon. What should you do? Should you tap him on the shoulder? No. Rather not. You remember how he told you about his morning temper and how he can snap at people if he doesn't get enough sleep.

Out of fear of him snapping at you you pulled your hand back and stared out the window again. You'll bump into him later. Hopefully.

You were tense the rest of the drive to your school. When the bus finally came to your stop you practically sprinted to the bus door and out onto the busy street. Not even bother to look back if Geto gave you a weird look you quickly walked up the stairs and up the hill quickly getting surrounded by fellow students. Some were familiar from the previous year, some were complete strangers. You could easily spot a freshman, by their nervous faces and unsure steps. You looked just the same before.

Now your step was more confident, knowing where to go, but your hands were nervously rubbing eachother. Sometimes you checked behind your shoulder and sure enough Geto was right there towering above most of the students. You had guessed he was tall but that tall?

No matter. Pretty soon your paths would drift apart. He already told you he has a virology lecture which takes place in a completely separate building than your biochemistry labs. If you were lucky you could pass by him in a hall today. You hoped not to though. Sitting behind him has already made your heart nearly beat out of your chest, how would it react if he was walking right towards you?

Suddenly your phone vibrated in your pocket as you walked through the front entrance. It was Geto. You exchanged phone numbers in case he ever needed anything and you weren't online to see his message. Which was what you told him. In reality you really wanted to hear his voice at some point. In a safe distance.

You pulled out your phone and checked to see what he had sent you. It was a picture of the front entrance with a caption "i'm on a highway to hell". You chuckled. Of course he would be into that type of music. Before you turned the phone off something caught your eye. It was the back of your head. Right there in the middle of the picture about to enter the school. You blushed. If only he knew he already took a picture of you.

You only replied with a smiley face and informed him you're already on your way to your first class. He wished you good luck as you did him and both of you stepped into the new chapter of your lives.

*

You traitor

Only a week into the semester and he already scared you half to death. Did he already find out what you looked like?

Why didn't you tell me i have to take organic chemistry again 😫

You sighed in relief.

Sorry buddy. But hey, look at it from the bright side: you already studied all of it once before. And i doubt our organic chemistry is more difficult than yours was

The lectures are fine, already had one this week. But the labs. THE LABS

Come on it can't be that bad. Judging by the pictures of your cooking over the summer, you're quite skilled at measuring and mixing ingredients. It just won't be edible

It's not that. The labs are super boring. You don't acomplish anything during them and their only purpose is for you to learn how to behave in labs in general, how to work with the various tools and how to properly write lab reports. They just prepare you for AFTER you already graduate

Isn't that how all labs are though?

Well, yes. But we at least had little competitions during our morgue classes

YOU WENT TO THE ACTUAL MORGUE 💀

No, don't worry. Me and Satoru called it that. It was actually autopsy room

Satoru. Your friend right?

Yeah

Do you miss him?

Sometimes. i mean we are still roommates but since we have different scheudals we don't get to interact much outside of weekends... But on the bright side as you like to say i can finally focus on the lectures 100%. Before Satoru used to always taunt me into playing tic-tac-toe. I miss the winning tho...

You chuckled. He was so goofy, despite looking really serious every time you caught a sight of him. Maybe he just has a resting homicide face.

Anyways, have to go now. Tomorrow is my first organic chemistry lab

Okay, good night Suguru! Good luck!

:)

What?

You called me Suguru

Only then you realized your mistake.

I'm so sorry 😣

It's fine. I like it. Good night. Sweet dreams <3

*

As unlucky as you were while texting Suguru you were lucky in other aspects. Your morning lecture got cancelled. Which meant you had around two hours of free time. Which you couldn't spend in bed unfortunatelly, because the little remnants of bad luck caused you to read the mail about cancelation only after you were already in school. It was fine tho. You could finally get a taste of true college life.

You got a coffee from school café, bought a sandwitch from the diner, found yourself a couch in a chill zone near the chemistry department, which were usually all full of stressed out or relaxing students, pulled out a laptop and worked on your lab report.

Working came easy to you even though you had rushing students all around you. Even through all the noise and distraction your fingertips still dance across the keys, your mind still produced intelligent sounding senteces. You were about to save the whole file when someone tapped you kn the shoulder.

"Yeah-?" you looked up and nearly died right then and there. It was Suguru. Towering above you with his hair fully pulled up except for a small strand framing his face. Has he found you already?

"Sorry but, do you know where the room CH1 409 is? We're kinda lost and only have like 7 minutes to get there," he said sheepishly as he stepped aside revealing what you assumed were his three lab mates. Two of them were girls. You hated how jealous you started to feel.

"S-sure," you managed to stutter out. "I can take you there actually. It's a little difficult to find and I'm not the best direction giver," you chuckled awkwardly while putting your laptop back to your bag.

"Wonderful! Thank you," said one of Suguru's friends.

You nodded and walked ahead of them. It was a shame you didn't get to hear his voice more. You decided to change it.

"So, you're freshmen," you started. As much as you hated smalltalk you really wanted to hear that smooth baritone of his.

Your unluckiness strikes again. "Yeah, how did you know?" said one of the girls.

"You dummy," told her the other girl, "she knows where the lab is, she's probably had to take the exact same classes as us!"

"Oh, yeah you're right."

"And how do you like it here so far?" you tried again.

"It's great here," answered the guy, "though some classes are pretty difficult. I have no idea how I'll be able to pass."

"Don't worry, if you have motivation you'll pass," you tried encouraging him. "What about you?" you directed your question at Suguru who was walking behind everyone.

He only shrugged. "Don't know, has only been a week. Too short to judge," he answere a bit coldly.

"Oh don't mind him," one of the girls patted your back, "he can be a giant ass sometimes."

Not to me though, you thought. What about all those times he was the sweetest guy with you? Maybe he just hasn't slept well. Yeah, that must be it.

Before you could try to conversate a bit more you arrived at the lab. There were other freshmen already waiting in their lab coats on and their notebooks in hands. Suguru and his friends pulled out their lab coats as well. Disappointed at your very first (albeit unofficial) meeting you turned around to leave when one of the girls stopped you.

"Thank you so much for showing us the way!" she said cheerfully. Behind her stood Suguru. Now that you think about it he was always walking behind her. If you inspected her more closely you noticed she had a miniskirt on with fishnets underneath.

Jealousy is a beast that you usually fight off quite quickly. But today you lost. "Can I give you an advice?"

"Sure," she smiled, her perfectly white teeth stood out against the deep red lipstick she had on.

"Don't wear too much make up to labs, the fumes from chemicals could react with it and burn you. Also tie your hair up," you gestured at her long silky waves while noticing how she tried to hide her big forhead by letting it down, "they could catch on fire."

Hopefully you desguised your pettiness as good enough of an advice. The girl you were talking to seemed convinced as she thanked you prefusely before asking around for a hairtie. The other girl already pulled out hers.

You waved goodbye to the freshmen, mostly Suguru. They waved back, except for Suguru who kept looking at you quizicaly.

Your previous spot on couches was occupied. You opted for a different resting place, near a room where your next lecture will be held in. It wasn't as cozy as the couch but it was free of any people and it had a desk too. No more balancing your laptop on your thighs.

As you sat down you pulled out your laptop, notebook from labs and a phone who was already telling you about one unread message from Suguru.

Met my first unpleasant person in this place

Your heart tightened. Unpleasant?

What do you mean?

However he didn't respond back. Of course he didn't. He had labs. He was probably busy with titration or other bullshit you did a year ago. You will just have to wait.

The waiting took half a day. Right as his labs were finishing your lecture was about to start. And since this professor wasn't one of the kind ones to send you his presentations you had to take notes manually. It took more than two hours for you to finally get on your phone.

We were lost on our way to organic chem labs and i had to ask someone on a way there. The girl was nice, she even lead us there. But then she made some passive agressive comments to my friend

Oh shit. Were you really that bad?

What did the girl say?

Just told her she can't wear that much make up and has to tie her hair back. My friend has acne she masks with the make up and pretty big forhead which she told me she's self conscious of. Whatever that girl was a bitch for saying that to her

You resisted the urge to cry, swallowed the huge lump in your throat and sat down on the nearest bench. You didn't mean to be that bad. Were you really acting like a bitch? Maybe he's just exaggarating. It was only pettiness. It won't happen again.

Those were good advices tho. The fumes from chemicals could mess up with the make up and burn her skin and if she leaned down above a burner her hair could catch on fire

Once you realized how much you sounded like "that bitch" Suguru was talking about you quickly typed another message.

It was the first thing our professor told us and he beat it into our heads every time a girl came in with lose hair

A reply from him came couple of minutes later.

Yeah, maybe you're right. It's just that That girl had a weird look on her face

You had no way of replying to that. Or mood to reply as well. You just wrote him a quick ttyl and went to the bus stop. On your way downhill from the school you felt your face heating up more and more from embarassement. You knew you should've fought with jealousy more. You knew you should've kept your mouth shut. Now that moment will haunt you forever. And not only that, if you ever get enough courage to reveal yourself to him he will instantly remember you as his first unpleasant person in there.

All in all, it was just the first week but you already want the whole semester to end.

*

Couple of weeks passed. Suguru and you texted nearly every day. Mostly after school. Sometimes he teased you by sending you picutres of stray cats near the campus with captions 'this you?' to which you always sent a rolling eye emoji.

Makes me wonder how many times we passed eachother 🤔

Lots, trust me

Whaaa? And you never bothered to talk to me?

We did actually

Your last message made him lean back too much on his chair and fall.

"You okay?" asked Shoko who still visited him and Gojo either out of boredom or nostalgia's sake.

Suguru ignored her concern and quickly shuffled in his memory. He has talked to so many people outside his class already. Mostly asking for directions to different places. But for the love of him he couldn't figure out if he talked to any girls or how many he talked to. Or how they looked like.

Aaaand can you tell me what we talked about?

You were asking for directions to a lab

Do you even know how little that narrows it down? And why are you so talkative today anyways? Did i tell you something rude or?

No. It's biochemistry. I can't figure it out 😭

Aaaw, my poor girl

As much as he liked the flustered reactions whenever he happened to mildly flirt with you he genuenly meant it this time. He remembers his own time figuratively and literally crying over biochemistry. He decided to take a leap of faith.

How about i study with you? I had biochemistry for two whole semesters and passed it by some miracle

You'd do that for me?

Sure. Besides after all the material you've already sent me and how much you already helped me it's about time i helped you back. Otherwise i just feel like a leech

There was no reply from you for couple of minutes and Suguru was affraid he maybe overstepped this invisible line you drew between them.

He heard hushed voices behind his back.

"What?" he snapped a little more annoyed than he intended.

"Is that girl ignoring you again?" Shoko puffed out some smoke from her cigarette.

"She isn't ignoring me," he waved his hand around in the cloud of smoke clearing the air a bit, "it just takes her a little longer."

"Riiight," Shoko put her cigarette between her lips again.

"I don't understand how the two of you haven't met already," Gojo complained. He should be studying along with Shoko but as usual he kept lounging around, dismissing Shoko's comments about him failing this class for sure with that attitude.

"Half of the semester is behind us already and you still have no idea how she looks like."

"She's shy, let her be."

"Aaaw, look how he's defending his girlfriend," Gojo cooed.

Geto glared.

"Soon to be girlfriend," Gojo corrected himself.

"With the way she's talking to me soon to be an ex friend. She's been so distant lately..." he rubbed the bridge of his nose in frustration.

"Don't worry, maybe she's just busy," Shoko reassured him.

"She did mention something about biochemistry."

"See!"

"Even then, her messages have been rather weird. Sometimes she's her happy talkative self and other days she barely texts back a full sentence," he sighed.

Gojo patted his shoulder. "That's girls for you. Which reminds me," he pulled out his own phone out of his pocket, "there's a joined party for med students and scientists as well. How about we go? You'll finally get to relax," he adressed poor Shoko hovering above her notes, "and you can invite your soon to be slash maybe never be girlfriend and finally meet her! I plan on meeting this one lady myself so we can organize a double date if you're shy."

"No matter how much you try Utahime will still tell you to go fuck yourself," Shoko reminded him.

Gojo turned around at her. "Well first of all-!"

Geto payed no mind to their arguement anymore. His phone buzzed in his hand. You replied.

Okay. But can we study right now please? Through a phone call?

In a speed of light Geto sneaked out of the living room to his own bedroom and searched for his old biochemistry notes. Even though he offered to help he himself was pretty clueless and barely passed the finals. Still the urge to finally hear your voice was bigger than the embarassment possibly awaiting him.

As soon as he found the old dusty notebook he sat down at his desk and dialed you.

It took only two rings for you to answer.

"Hello?"

By god your voice sounded so cute. He wanted to squich your cheeks so bad. Unfortunatelly he couldn't remember a single person he talked to who would even come close to sounding like you. Granted, the phone makes everyone's voice sound a bit robotic but still. Should he start recording every conversation he has from now on?

"Well hello there," he greeted back with a smile. "So, what is it you need help with?"

You hummed. He distantly heard ruffling of couple of papers. Eventually you answered. "Gluconeogenesis."

"Okay, a bit more specificly?" he already started looking for a page about it but couldn't seem to find it. Did they even cover it?

"Well, the whole thing basically. I know it's glycolysis but backwards but in the presentation the professor showed us were couple of reactions that looked confusing and I don't know what else to do."

Even though he found your whine at the end of your sentence cute he was frantically turning page after page looking for any headtitle starting on G but nothing.

Someone opened his door.

"Who're you talking to?" both his best friend and Shoko peaked through the opened door.

Geto waved at them to leave. "Uhm give me a moment okay?" he said to the phone and then pushed it to his shoulder. "Shoko do you have a biochemistry notebook here?"

"Is that your girl?" she asked insted, excitement in her eyes. "Put her on loudspeaker!"

"Do you have it or not?!"

"If I say I do will you let me hear her?"

Geto contemplated. He wanted to keep you just to himself for a while longer. But without Shoko's help...

Gojo came in with his own half torn notebook dangling it infront of Geto. "It's all yours if you let us hear her."

Geto frowned into his best friends smirked face which matched Shoko's. He rolled his eyes and finally spoke to the phone again. "Listen Y/N, my friends want to hear you, can I put you on a loudspeaker?"

"Uhm, sure?"

As soon as he did Gojo started asking bunch of questions. "Heey how are you? Are you the Y/N Sugu won't shut up about? How do you look like? Why didn't you send my boy a selfie? He likes black so go on and buy some nice black lingerie for him yeah?"

By the time he finished his little rant Geto covered his phones's microphone and nearly kicked him in the gut. Hopefully you didn't hear most of his questions.

Shoko punched him as well chastising him for scaring you off. "Don't mind him Y/N, you'll get used to him. Now say something already!"

After a second of silence you peeped out a shy: "Hi."

"Oh my god Suguru she sounds so cute," Gojo gushed.

"Don't let her near him," Shoko pointed at Gojo. "It was nice to hear you Y/N, can't wait for Suguru to introduce you to us properly. Enjoy your study date!" she said as she dragged Gojo away before he could blabber out some more inapropriate things.

Suguru turned the loudspeaker off and it was just you two again.

"What the hell was that," you asked with panic in your voice.

"My friends trying to ruin my life. They mean well though, don't worry. It's just rare for them to see me interacting with a girl."

"But whenever I see you on the halls you're surrounded by couple of girls though."

Geto smirked. "Is that jealousy I hear?"

"Maybe."

Before he could press any further you asked about biochemistry and he quickly found the page he needed. Thankfully back then Gojo was at least trying to take notes in classes so the entire gluconeogenesis was neatly explained. After about twenty minutes you exclaimed you finally understood and thanked him.

"My pleasure Y/N. Was this why you weren't talking to me that much?" he leaned back on his chair.

"This and another thing, but it's okay now."

"Aaaw, what other thing? You know you can always talk to me right?"

"I know, but not this time. Sorry."

"It's fine," he said sadly. In the back of his mind he imagined bunch of different scenarios that could trouble you. Failed test, mean classmates, or worse a crush on a classmate.

"Hey, you have a nice voice," your words pulled him from his thoughts.

He chuckled. "Look who's talking. Even though are you sure it was me you talked to? I swear I never heard such a melodic voice from anyone in school."

"Well, you were kinda in a hurry. And was focusing elsewhere too..."

"Huh? What do you mean?" he genuenly didn't understand. Focusing elsewhere?

"Nevermind. By the way how do you like it so far? It's been almost half a semester now."

"It's going pretty good. Much more interesting than med school. Even though," he rocked on his chair back and forth, "it would've been nicer if we could've met face to face."

"Really?"

"Yeah, really."

"I don't think that's a good idea though."

He quickly stopped rocking and sat up straight. "What? Y/N..." he couldn't even find words. Why wouldn't you want to meet up with him? "Y/N, have I been rude to you? Have I scared you off while we talked in real life?"

"No."

He sighed in relief.

"You barely even looked at me."

His heart tightened again.

"It's just that," you paused for a second trying to put together a whole sentence, "I've seen the girls you hang around Suguru and all of them are really beautiful. Standing besides them I look nothing special. You would be disappointed if we met and you knew it was me. Isn't it better this way? I bet you imagine me as this model or something," you chuckled but he could hear the sadness in your voice.

"Y/N, first of all my imagination is pretty bad so I only imagine you as a girl with your name written across your face," you chuckled at that which made his heart swell, "and second of all those girls hang around me, not the other way around. Most of the time we travel in groups and look for places together which is way more efficient than getting lost alone. Besides, none of them can even hold a candle to you intellectually. Once in a virology lab this one girl gathered a sample of bacteria on that wire thingy and put the whole thing into the burner. She was very surprised why she had nothing grown on her petri dish a week later"

"Oh my god," you laughed out loud. "How will she pass?"

"Maybe she won't. I heard some other upperclassmen say the first year is usually treated as a sorting out year."

"It's possible. But her effectively killing all her bacteria sample is something else."

"It is," he chuckled at the memory. "Now that I think about it do you remember that unpleasant girl i told you some weeks back?"

"Yeah," you said emotionlessly but he paid it no mind.

"The girl she gave advice to was the same girl who burned off all her bacteria. Maybe she was right about advicing her like that. Maybe she could smell the stupid on her."

"Maybe."

There it was again. The one word answers.

"What is it now?" he asked concerned.

"Nothing, I just," you paused. He could sense a hesitation from your side. Eventually you spoke up again. "I just think I know that girl."

"Oh? Is she your friend?"

"More or less."

"Then I'm sorry if I offended her."

"Nah, it's fine. Do you still think of her as a bitch?"

"No."

"Then all's fine," he could hear you smile and he smiled as well.

"Well Suguru, as much as I like hearing your voice I have to go to sleep now. Thank you for explaining it to me again. I don't know what I would've done without you."

His heart sped up at the praise. "It was fine Y/N, that's what friends are for right? Oh and one more thing!"

"Yeah?"

He hesitated but finally he gathered enough courage. "Satoru told me about an upcoming party for scientists. Are you coming?" he asked hopefully.

"Maybe. It should be after a midterm from embryology. Let me check."

He patiently waited while you checked your calendar. Even if you wouldn't be going he would still find a way to meet you. Now that he knows what you sound like he could just walk around and listen to people talking.

"No, unfortunately it's the night before the midterm. I'm so sorry."

"It's okay," he tried masking his disappointment. Even though he admired how dedicated you were to your studies he really wished you could make an exception.

"Hey, maybe next time, okay?"

"Yeah, maybe fate will arrange my life again," he joked and you chuckled.

"Yeah. You never know. Good night Suguru. Sweet dreams."

*

Your midterm was around the corner. As was the party Suguru mentioned. You still see him in halls here and there, often surrounded by a group of people. There didn't seem to be a time where he was alone. Unsurprisingly so, since he looked like... well, like him. To sooth your jealousy there didn't seem to be any prominent lady hanging around him all the time. The faces in his close circle were always changing. Even the famous dummy from virology seemed to disappear. Maybe his words about merely traveling together were true.

Today however you payed no attention to him or his newfound friends. The only thing on your mind was your midterm. Other groups have already taken it and you heard them say how life draining it was. Their words were confirmed after you passed by a group of your friends who just finished it. Well, friends was a strong word. As freshmen you often relied on eachother but now that you know your way around and you were sorted jnto different groups you talked less and less.

"Hey," you greeted them. "How was it?"

"Run for your life girl," the one who had most prominent eyebags replied.

Some other people who you didn't know nodded, their faces equally as tired. Eveb the biggest know it all you've met in this darn buidling was mumbling something about retaking it.

From there your legs took you straight to library. It didn't look like those in movies you watched growing up. No fancy decoration or tables with green lamps. Just basic library with books stacked up to the ceiling, basic wooden uncomfortable looking chairs and tables with chipped edges. A pleasure to study there.

With a list of helpful books in your phone you walked around not looking for a particular one. Just procrastinating. If you managed to find one off your list you just flipped around and put it back in. All terms in there were already familiar to you. You doubted you could learn anything new by now.

Few rows bahind you something fell to the ground, the loud noise making you jump. A pretty loud 'fuck' along with a very familiar scolding from librarian soon followed. Amused you peeked into the corridor to check the poor guy's first experience with the dreaded librarian. It must be a freshman. Everyone else already knows to not even breath when in closed proximity of that witch.

It really was a freshman. But your freshman. Suguru stumbled from the alley into the corridor and quickly hid in the same row you were in, running by you, barely sparing you a glance.

The librarian calmed down and returned to her usual spot, a spawnpoint as you liked to call it. Once she did Suguru sighed and leaned back, a small smile tugging on his lips.

You admired him for a bit. It's been a long time since you've seen him, let alone been this close to him. Once he calmed down his head fell back to its usual level and he finally noticed you. His smile faded and your heart cracked. "Hi," he politely greeted. You only nodded back aknowledging him and opened the book you held on a random page. The whole book could be upside down and you would never even know, the only thing you were focusing on was his figure. Which was moving slowly towards you.

"Uhm, excuse me," his melodic voice made you look up at him. Your cheeks got heated as you waited for his next words. "Could you move?" he asked and pointed at the shelf you were leaning on.

"Oh, sorry," you whispered back and quickly moved. Your legs itched to walk away completely to not embarass yourself even further but something stopped you. A sudden urge rose inside you. 'Talk to him. Tell him.'

He flipped through his book, completely unbothered by his surroundings. Thank god for that. It gave you some time to psych yourself up. Twice you opened your mouth and closed it again. He took out his phone to snap couple of pictures of the pages in his hands. An idea.

You pulled your own phone out and messaged him.

Hey, you there?

After hitting send it only took couple of seconds for his phone to vibrate. He glanced at it again with annoyance but after a while a smile creeped up his face as his fingers danced across the screen.

Well hello, how was the study session?

Good. Listen, where are you right now?

Butterflies flew around your insides as you watched him type.

In library. Why? Wanna meet? ;)

This is it. It's now or never.

Look left.

With hope filled eyes you watched him and waited. The message finally got delivered. He read it. Then he turned his head. Your eyes finally met.

"Hi," you said carefully.

"Hi," he repeated, a dumbstruck expression on his face.

You expected a lot. Everything actually. But not what he did. It was just a small movement, some would write it off as just a spasm of muscles. In split second his eyes drifted from your face to someplace behind you and back down to you. As if checking if you're really the only one there.

Your throat tightened as tears slowly clouded your vision. "You're disappointed, right?"

That brought him back to reality as he shook his head. "No, no, of course not. Just surprised, that's all!"

How you wished you believed him. A tear has already escaped your eye and you cursed yourself. Not wanting to embarass yourself even further you turned around ready to leave.

"Hey, wait up," he stopped you by putting his large hand on your shoulder.

"SHUT YOUR MOUTHS," came an angry voice of the librarian. Both of your hearts stopped beating for a moment.

"Outside?" he mouthed to you.

You nodded and both of you practically sublimated out of there. Standing outside he finally took a good look at you. His eyes resting only on you, despite people walking around. Feeling selfconscious you tugged on your coat. It was supposed to snow today so you took the fluffiest you had, making you look three times your size.

"Ehm, so," you broke the silence, "it was nice meeting you and all but, I have midterm to study for sooo..."

"Oh, but we only just met," he pouted. It was cute, seeing a hunk of a man like him pouting like a kid who lost his favourite toy.

"Sorry," you apologized genuenly meaning it. Even though you'd love to stay time was pressing down on you.

Suddenly his eyes lit up. "Do you remember the party I mentioned to you?"

"The one in two days? Yeah, I remember. Why?"

He grinned. "My roommate is going there so my place will be free. And I need to study as well so we can study together. What do you say?"

His suggestion was tempting. But then again, being with him, all alone, possibly even staying the night? But you always studied much more efficient when you had someone beside you.

After few moments of pondering you nodded making his eyes even brighter.

"Great! I'll text you the address," he held up his phone and winked. "See you later kitten."

*

"This was probably a bad idea," you tell yourself as you check the address one last time. You were already standing under the building. A pretty fancy one. Didn't look like dorms at all. Maybe it wasn't. He did mention his roommate is unholy rich though so maybe this is one of the perks of being his friend?

First snowflakes dropped on your phone screen. You looked up. The clouds didn't even look dark enough to start snowing. The weather forecast didn't mentikn it either. You pulled your coat tighter around you a regretted not putting on another layer just in case like you use to.

The front entrance opened revealing Suguru in black sweatpants and black knitted sweater. "There you are! Come in before you freeze," he stepped aside and held the door open for you.

His place was on the eighth floor. The ride in the elevator wasn't long but for you, being so close to Suguru, it seemed like hours. Finally the elevator dinged and the doors opened. A white haired man wearing a pretty expensive looking shirt stood infront of it. You looked up and him and gulped. What kind of a man wears shades in the building?

"Sugu, is that her?" the man asked pointing a finger at you not even looking in your direction.

Suguru pinched the bridge of his nose. "Yes, this is her. Y/N, this is-"

"Satoru," he took your cold hand in his and leaned down, "pleasure to meet you."

Before he could kiss the back of your hand you pulled it from under his nose and held defensively against your chest. Suguru's shades slid down his nose slightly, revealing surprised blue eyes.

Giggling came from behind him. "I like her," said a brunnette in dark blue dress. "I'm Ieri."

"I'm Y/N," you smiled.

Suguru cleared his throat. "Okay now that we all know who the other one is," he placed his hand on your lower back making your blood quickly travel to your cheeks, "we better go study. Enjoy the party you two," he gently pushed you inside the open apartment door.

"Fine, fine," Satoru rolled his eyes. "If you need condoms I put some of mine in your bedside table."

"We are really going to study though," you said but he only chuckled.

"Yeah I know. Embryology," he winked under his shades and pulled Ieri along with him leaving you and blushing Suguru behind. Alone.

"Ignore him," he said and offered you Ieri's soft slippers. "Tea?"

"Yes please," you took of your coat and hanged it. Their place didn't look like it belonged to a pair of students at all. Everything looked expensive. The ridiculously giant aquarium in the living room wasn't helping at all. Upon further inspection you only saw two fish in there, one black the other white.

Suguru came back from the kitchen. "Those were Satoru's idea," he tapped the aquarium glass.

"It's cute. To represent you and him?"

"Yeah," he put his hands in his pockets and stood beside you. In the glass' reflection yout two almost looked like you were on a date in aquarium. You smiled at the thought. "He also wanted Ieri to have one as well but she refused. I have a feeling she's shipping us."

You chuckled. "Then my presence must be ruining her ship."

"Hmm, are you suggesting something?" he smirked and leaned in closer to you.

"Ehm," you averted your eyes and pulled your backpack off of your shoulders, "we got work to do."

"Right," he straightened back up, his expression unreadable. "Do you want to stay here or go to my bedroom?"

"We can go to yours," you say without actually thinking how it might make you look. Thankfully Suguru found no deeper meaning behind it and lead you to a decently big room. You could tell he was preparing for your visit. No man is this tidy. Even though it's Suguru.

"Make yourself at home, I'll go finish the tea."

"Thanks."

You walked around a bit. There were some pictures of his youth. Some were with people you didn't recognise, some with young Satoru. On all of them he looked extremely cute. Puberty must've hit him like a truck. You also took notice of the dumbells and other training equipment hidden in the corner. You always assumed people like him just went to a gym, or better yet had their own personal gym. Guess he's more of an introvert than you gave him credit for.

Without any further inspections you sat down on his bed, so soft and welcoming. You resisted the urge to lay back and drift off to sleep. It would be perfect. Big soft warm bed, picking up snowstorm outside, a handsome man laying by your side. You shook your head. You're just friends. You're just a friend.

"Tea is here," he walked in with two mugs in his hand handing one to you.

You just held it, wamring up your cold fingers. "Thanks."

With a small smile he nodded and sat right across you on his gamer chair. Did he play videogames as well?

"So, how does the whole studying in pair go?"

You sipped on your tea. Actually you had no idea. The only collective studying yoj ever did was with him through a phone that one time. It was more him explaining things to you rather than mutual teaching. In the end you shrugged. "We'll have to figure it out as we go."

"Guess we will," he leaned back.

He gazed at you so long it made you selfconscious. "What?" you giggled nervously.

He shook his head. "Nothing, just," he moved to lean forward on his legs, "never thought I'd have you here."

"Weren't you the one to beg for a meeting?" recalled all the times he asked on which floor of the school you were or asking for your schedual to surprise you after class.

"I didn't mean that," he said and pointed at his bed. "I meant here."

You looked down and blushed. "Oh."

He chuckled at your flustered expression. "Don't worry, I'm not like Satoru."

"Like Satoru?"

"Horny."

You choked.

"C-can we start studying now?"

He nodded.

*

The clock on his bedroom wall slowly ticked away. You revised everything yoh needed and now was just helping Suguru. In the past hour he restlessly moved from sitting on his chair, to sitting on the parapet to now sitting on the ground right between your legs while you were playing with his long silky hair.

"Come on Suguru! I know you know this!" you tapped his scalp.

"Even if you threatened to shoot me I wouldn't know," he groaned and flipped through his notes again. "Maybe it won't even be on the damn midterm."

"The last time I said this I had to retake it. Besides if you don't pass on the first time then you'll have to retake after Christmas along with your finals. Do you want that?"

He leaned into your hands and closed his eyes. "That won't happen," he tilted his head back and looked at you, "because I have you now."

You chuckled and somehow didn't get flustered. Maybe you were desentisized after spending multiple hours on end with him? "Like I will sit there with you while you take it."

"Why not? I could squeeze you up," he got up from his spot and hugged you real tight against him, "and put you in my pocket like a talisman."

You giggled at him hugging and squeezing you. Without even realizing it he fell down with you in his arms on his massive bed, laughing along with you. When you opened your eyes you were met with his bare neck and long hair framing it. You looked up and realized how close the tow of you are. And how dark it has gotten outside.

He noticed how awkwardly you held your hands infront of you and losened his grip. "I'm sorry. Do you want to go?"

You shook your head and shushed the butterflies in your stomach. "Nope, I just-" you looked away from him, "maybe you're used to it but I've never been this close to a man before..."

He smiled and brushed your hair out of your face to get a better look at you. "I'm not used to it. I told you it's not often I'm close with a member of the opposite sex, and that's why Satoru and Ieri acted so weird. Besides," his hand fell from the top of your head to your neck and rested there, "you're the first girl to lay in this bed."

Your eyes went wide. "Really?"

"Yeah, really."

You had no words. How do normal people even react to something like that? You just hummed and let your eyes roam around his face. He looked really cute right now. Like a cat. Even before he always reminded you of a cat. One of your hands rose up from your chest and with the lenght of your forefinger petted him under his jaw, like you would a cat.

"Meow," he said and you chuckled. But your finger didn't stop petting. Hiw own thumbed rubbed the back of your neck, his palm heavy on the side of it.

"I like bwing around you," you confessed."

"Me too. You're so calming."

You hummed and closed your eyes. "Would you mind if I stayed the night?"

"Not at all. I"ll even drive you to school tomorrow so you won't have to freeze in a bus."

Your eyes shot open. "You have a car?"

He shook his head. "Satoru does. He owes me for so much already. And he forgot his keys here too."

You swatted his shoulder lightly. "You're the worst!"

"Only for you."

There it was again. That damn smirk you imagined every time he sent it in an emoji form. Now it was right infront of your face. You readjusted your head. Now it was on the same level as his face as opposed to before when it was underneath it.

"Why did you message me that first time?"

He thought for a while. "Out of boredom mostly. But I'm glad I did," his hand moved from your neck up to your cheek.

"And why did you keep messaging me?"

"Why did you?"

You weren't sure yourself. "I don't know. You were nice I guess."

"And?" he moved closer to you, the tip of his nose brushing your own.

"I don't know!" You whined and moved your head to brush his nose. "What do you want to hear from me?"

"A confession or something," he mumbled. "I really want to hear you say you like me."

Your movement stopped. He wanted what? "Why?"

"Because," he brushed his thumb on your cheek, "I like you and I want to hear you say it back."

"You like me?" you asked not believing him.

"I do."

"Why?" some self-hating tears burned your eyes. There's no way you were this lucky. There's no way he's serious. Someone like him won't just start liking someone like you.

"Because I felt like it. Will you let me?" he asked and quickly glanced down at your lips. His question was about more than him liking you.

You closed your eyes and let the fate play out this scenario however it wanted. It was its fault he came into your life in the first place.

Suguru smiled and pulled your head towards him. His lips were soft. At first it was just a snall peck, filling your chest with warmth much sweeter than the tea he made you. When he pulled back you kissed him again. He locked your lips together, enjoying the way you moved against him. His other hand pulled your waist towards him and you sighed into his mouth. No one has ever touched you like this before. You could get used to this.

When sweet kisses weren't enough for him anymore he rolled you on your back while stradling you and deepened the kiss. You were surprised, sure, but certainly not dissapointed. You pulled on his lose hair, making him moan into you. This amount of power over a man wasn't so bad. Your hands snaked around his neck while his lowered to your thighs propping them up to lock around his waist. Something hard poked into your center.

Your eyes shot open and you gently pushed on his shoulders to give you some time to breathe.

"Do you want to stop?" he asked. From this short of a distance you could finally see his pupils agajnst his dark eyes. They were blown wide with desire.

You gulped and shook your head. "I'm scared."

He smiled gently and stroked your cheek. "Shh, it's okay. I'll be gentle."

His other hand played with the hem of your shirt, silently asked for permission. Which you gave.

He pulled your shirt of exposing your bare chest to him. You don't even know what you thought that morning not putting on a bra. But right now you were kinda glad you didn't. Less time wasting.

He immediatelly started kissing a path from your neck down to your chest. Sucking a hickey on your sternutm while both of his hands squeezed and massaged your breasts, thumbs flicking across your nipples. You whined at the foreign feeling. The hardness between your legs got even more prominent. Your legs locked around his torso and lifted your upper half to be close to him again. While your ass was off the bed he tried to pull down your warm trousers. Eventually they joined your shirt on the floor.

"Not fair," you whined and pulled on his sweater.

"Lemme fix it," he mumbled into your skin and sat up to pull his clothes away.

Of course he had a six pack. Of course he did. He leaned down and continued kissing your chest. You saw his back muscles. You swore he had muscle groups you thought were a myth.

Once his mouth got to your panties you came to a horrifying realization: you didn't shave.

"Sugu, stop," you tapped on his back making him look up at you.

"Hmm?"

"I'm sorry, I-I didn't," you looked away in embarassment.

"You didn't what, sweet?" he caressed the inside of your thigh and you shivered.

"It's a mess down there," you finally admitted hiding your face in your hands.

He tsked and pulled your hands from your face giving you a soft kiss. "No good man is affraid of a little forrest," he winked at you and dove right back where he stopped.

"Oh my- Sugu~"

He made out with your lower lips just as passionately as he did with your upper ones. Not used to the new sensation your legs tried to close but he held them wide open, even folded them up against your chest giving him better access. You moaned and whined, everytime you did he tried something new. New speed, new preassure. He spelled his own name on your clit with his tongue before sucking it, making sure to make you feel as good as possible.

Suddenly something poked your entrance. You shot your eyes opened panicked but quickly shut them closed when his long finger stroke your insides. No one has ever touched you in there. Not even yourself. Once he made a 'come closer' motion you were done for.

With a final kiss he pulled out his glitening forefinger. "Well, that was fast," he commented.

"Shut up," you hid your face once again.

He chuckled and moved up again, your legs found their home around his waist. He kissed your hands hiding your face. "It's cute kitten, don't hide away from me," he tapped your wrist. You pulled your hand away revealing your flushed face. "There you are," he smiled and kissed you. He licked inside your mouth and you tasted something more than just his saliva.

While he made out he pulled down his sweatpants and the hardness you felt before sprang free now. Too embarassed you didn't even attempt to glance down. Feeling how big he was down there was way more than seeing it.

"No way that will fit inside," you sighed into his mouth.

"We'll make it," he kissed you before straigthening up and leaning to the side of the bed.

"What are you-?"

"You wouldn't want to study embryology in practice now, would you?" he winked and opened his bedside table.

Embarassed you looked away from him and studied the arm that was still resting beside your head. His bicep must be bigger than your face. And the veins on his fore arms! A wet dream of every nurse for sure.

You mentally slap yourself. Why must you always think like a scientist?!

While you were scolding yourself he quickly slipped on a condom and his tip was now poking at your entrance.

"This will probably hurt," he whispered into your ear.

You found his hand and held it tightly, his fingers interlocking yours. "I trust you."

Slowly, inch by inch he moved inside. If his finger was way too long you weren't even ready for his nether region. He stretched you out in all directions, but mostly forward as he disappeared inside you more and more. You whined here and there but he kissed your cheek and told you how well you're doing and how it will feel good afterwards. His thumb kept rubbing the back of your hand as he moved his hips thrusting up into you.

Then, you didn't even know how but he was all inside. Once he was he groaned. "Fuck," he breathed out and his head fell into the crook of your neck and kissed you there. "You're so soft."

He breathed against your neck and you felt shivers run down your spine. He pulsed inside you and by the way he was breathing you knew he was trying to control himself to not hurt you. Oh how you loved this man.

Your other hand, the one not holding onto his, got lost in his hair. "Y-you can move."

You felt him grin against your skin. He pulled out, making you feel awfully empty, but quickly filling you up again making you gasp. "Oh~"

His arm moved from beside your head to hold your ass in place as he thrusted inside. Slow and steady. His tip always caressed that one spot his finger previously discovered. Every time you moaned he kissed yet another hickie into your neck and you feared you won't be able to last long.

A new feeling grew inside you. Much more powerful than the one before. "S-Sugu~" you breathed out, not being able to finish your sentence.

"Yes kitten?" He lifted his head. God he looked amazing. With his black hair framing his face and little beads of sweat forming on his forhead, like a crown of dewdrops.

"I-I-" he hit that spot again and you moaned seeing stars.

"Oh, you like it here," he angled his hips and poked that spongy spot again.

"N-n-n-" in this new position his pelvis rubbed just perfectly against your clit and it was damn near impossible for yout to even think.

"You're close?"

You nodded.

"Right behind you," he moaned and kept hitting that one wonderful spot unditl both of you fell apart. You first, him following closely after, filling the condom to the point of it leaking around his base. His head fell back into the crook of your neck, leaving soft kisses and catching his breath. Your own chest went up and down, touching his toned one with every breath. He stayed inside, staying nice and warm. You came to love being stretched like this. Unfortunately, both of your bodies would soon grow cold and would have to separate. He pulled out making you hiss.

"Sorry," he chuckled.

"Nah," you caressed the side of his face, "I loved it."

He smiled and kissed your palm. "Sleepy?"

You nodded and as if on cue yawned. Damn he was only with you once and he already knew your body better than you.

He got rid of his condom and threw covers over both of you, pulling your bodies together in the process. This was great. Exactly as you imagined. You and him together after a good and thorough study session, nice and warm while winter went crazy outside.

How could one stay awake?

*

Suguru stroked your naked back. Up and down, then back to your head again, scratching you like a cat. He woke up in the middle of the night and had been caressing you ever since. Usually he would curse this sudden wave of insomnia but now he was greatful. Who knows when will the two of you be like this? With how seriously you take school and his own hectic schedual mixed in? Better to enjoy this while he can.

Sun began to rise when he heard noises outside his bedroom. Satoru must be back.

Sure enough the white haired man stumbled through the threshold, his shades aslant and shakimg from the outside cold.

He made his way into kitchen but stopped once he got a peek into his bestfriend's bedroom. Thankfully you were laying chest to chest on him and most of you was covered by his blanket anyways but still Suguru tried to cover you from unwanted eyes.

Satoru grinned. "Just study?"

Suguru threw a pillow at him.

[whetstonefires]

Hello! For the reverse tropes writing prompts (if this catches your fancy) — murderbot diaries with fake amnesia and Really nice guy who hates only you

this is really not in the spirit of that second inverse trope, but for mb this was the only thing i could think of, and it was very funny.

=

"Gurathin," said Gurathin. "SecUnit, you know it's me."

"I don't think I know that," it said, pleasantly, in an okay but not excellent imitation of its creepy canned dialogue options. "Please present some identification, and we'll see."

Gurathin didn't bother sending his data over the feed again. Murderbot walked away, but left a drone eyeballing him. He resisted the urge to flip the drone off. "Come on," he told it, knowing SecUnit was paying attention. "Let me in."

He watched the SecUnit bend forward slightly to show two of Mensah's kids that it was paying attention to whatever they were saying, and then bend over further to help the toddler up onto a chair. It was just fucking with him now. On the other hand, if the prickly bastard started letting children hug it just to piss off Gurathin, who was the real loser?

It finished spoiling the children and moved over to smoothly de-escalate a brewing disagreement over the punch bowl. Gurathin tried to catch Pin-Lee's eye; she did not cooperate. Gurathin tried to walk through the open door; the hovering security drone took a potshot at him.

SecUnit got roped into conversation with Bharadwaj and her media colleagues. It said something that made everyone laugh. It wasn't scowling. It was faking looking people in the face pretty well; that was just creepy.

It went on like that; Gurathin had never seen it go this long interacting without pissing someone off. Presumably it was venting all of that impulse on him. Ratthi introduced it to his favorite cousin; zi was visibly charmed.

Gurathin goaded the drone into firing two more warning shots before the SecUnit circulated back over to him.

"SecUnit. Come on. You have known me for actual years. I helped you rob a place once."

"I don't recall."

"We met on that planetary survey mission, don't tell me you don't remember that one, it's the reason you're even here." That came out maybe a little harsh, but everyone was letting the SecUnit abuse the power of being entrusted with party security to bully him, he was allowed to be annoyed.

"Oh, were you there? That data must have been lost in a corrupted filetree," it said, with incredibly cutting blandness.

Gurathin groaned. "Okay! Okay. I'm sorry."

It technically counted as a reward when SecUnit stopped giving him the customer service face and switched to the hairy eyeball, which just showed how stupid this whole situation was. It was clearly not satisfied with just that.

"I'm sorry for using your personal name without permission. I wasn't trying to weaponize it or anything, it just slipped out, but I know that's not an excuse and it was a really inappropriate disrespect for your boundaries."

SecUnit kept looking at him. Gurathin knew two other SecUnits now, neither of whom was as supremely weird as this one; that was why he'd started mentally tagging it with its personal name, just to keep things tidy. Of course, if anyone else had done that and made the resulting mistake, SecUnit probably wouldn't have been half so mad.

Gurathin sagged.

"I'm sorry for going through your personal files and using your name against you back during the survey," he mumbled, wishing he kept drones around to control with his brain so he could watch SecUnit's extremely expressive face without having to look at it. "That was really shitty. Rim paranoia isn't a good enough excuse for refusing to see you as anything but a tool of the Company. Okay?"

SecUnit was looking as pained as though Gurathin had stripped naked in its presence. "Yes, fine, you can come to the party just stop having feelings," it said, in its normal voice.

"Great!" said Gurathin. "The spinach puffs had better not be all gone."

"I don't pay any attention to the things humans consume," it said, moving out of his way and taking its drone with it.

"I know," Gurathin acknowledged, rolling his eyes and trooping after it. Ratthi waved enthusiastically at him and Pin-Lee raised her cup in a welcoming toast. Apparently SecUnit's relenting returned him to the ranks of people who existed again. "Believe me, I remember this about you."

[yurislotusgarden]

pm!dazai for the event and 23?

ʚїɞ Port mafia!Dazai Osamu x Gn!Reader

ʚїɞ Keep in mind English is not my first language, so you may find mistakes!

ʚїɞ word count: 751

ʚїɞ Tw’s: very small mention of death but it's Dazai so what do you expect

ʚїɞ Just Dazai getting used to this thing called feelings lmao, it isn't really mentioned that it's pm!Dazai but yeah... also I have no excuse for not posting for a month, simply didn't feel like writing🤷‍♀️

ʚїɞ anon if you will see this after all these months that this has been in my inbox, I'm sorry for how long this took, but I'm gonna write all the event works I never did😭

ʚїɞ 23: Moving the other one by their waist / the event this is from

He would really appreciate it.

He would really appreciate you not standing up on that unstable stool. He may have not voiced it out, but he really dislikes the idea of you falling over and hurting yourself, he would probably laugh if it was anyone else, but not you.

You were currently getting ingredients out of a higher cupboard, the things you were reaching for were things you didn’t use often to cook, so he could say that it made sense that they were up there, but couldn’t you stand on something more stable? Is that really too much to ask?

“You already took a few things out, isn't that all that you need?” He was hoping that the thing you took out just a moment ago was the last one.

“Nope! I still need one more thing.” It seems life hated him more than he thought.

He did plan on just staying in place and letting you get that one last ingredient, but then the stool decided to be a bitch and scare both of you (not like you knew it scared him) by swaying in a way that a stool for sure damn shouldn't. You didn't fall, no, you simply gripped onto the shelf in front of you until it stabilized, but it was more than enough to make Dazai freak out internally and get him to move after having enough of the whole situation.

It was obvious to him that you were trying to decide whether you should get that last thing or just get down, but he didn't give you time to think before he wrapped his arms around your waist and simply made you get down by pulling you backward, and then setting you down on the floor.

“You're gonna end up dead because of something absolutely stupid, you know that?”

“No, I won't. Besides, falling from that stool wouldn't kill me.”

“Delusional.”

“Look who's talking.”

“You little shit!”

“I may be shorter but don't call me that!”

Maybe he's the one who's gonna end up dead because of something stupid, and that thing may just be you.

He sighed quietly. He still wasn't used to this shit called feelings.

“Even if you didn't die from that, you would still hurt yourself and would probably have to go to a hospital.”

“...”

No answer? 

“What? Did a small fact shut you up so quickly?”

“...You care whether I will land in a hospital or not?” It was just an innocent question, and yet it was more than enough to get him to feel strangely warm and his heart to speed up somewhat. Jesus, you’re gonna be the death of him someday.

“Dazai?”

Oh shit. Don't look up at him like that, you're gonna kill him. 

“No, I simply don't need your parents on my ass-”

“No no no, I saw the look in your eyes, you idiot! You're worried even about the idea of me getting hurt, don't you?” The grin on your face has to be infectious right? Maybe a hidden ability he didn't know about? Because there was no way that he wanted to smile just because you did.

“You're actually crazy [Name], did you ever think about applying for a mental hospital?”

“Did you think of doing that yourself?”

“I- what the fuck?!” He was lowkey speechless inside, but you didn't need to know that. Why didn't he expect that response? It was so damn easy to predict that you would say that back!

“Wait, what do you mean you saw it in my eyes?” It was surprisingly a genuine question. His eyes were like a bottomless void, there was nothing that one could see in them, so how did you see anything like care?

You chuckled softly under your breath as if you could read his thoughts, and he didn't know if he liked that thought or not. “Eyes are the door to the soul, no?”

The door to the soul that he was sure he didn't have.

“By the way, can you let go of my waist now?”

“Hm? Yeah, of course.” The calm tone of his words did not reflect what he felt internally at the moment.

Shit. Fuck. He didn't let go of your waist the entire time. He wished that someone would just shoot him in that moment to save him from the embarrassment that he felt.

.

.

.

…He would lie to himself if he said that it didn't feel nice to hold you so close to him though.

Notes, comments, and reblogs are greatly appreciated

[hopefulromances]

Hi, I’m not sure if you’re requests are open so feel free to ignore this but if not, can you do a Jamie request where he and the reader are heavily in the “between friends and lovers” phase and Jamie ditches hanging out with the boys to spend the night with her when she turns down their invite cause she’s burnt out from work?

I'm in a writing mood so I'm going through so old requests in my inbox

Jamie sat in their booth, tracing a smiley face in the condensation that was growing on his beer. It was a Saturday night and he and the boys had gone out. He'd texted you to come with him when they'd left almost 30 minutes ago but he still hadn't heard back from you.

You and him were... close. He wasn't quite sure where he stood with you actually. He wasn't sure friends got drunk and made out on the couch but he didn't think girlfriends left in a hurry the next morning.

He didn't want you to leave. When he woke up, reaching out for your warm body, only to find himself alone, he'd been so disappointed. And the next time he'd seen you, you pretended it didn't happen. But all Jamie could think about was how you felt wrapped in his arms, lips feverishly moving against each other.

His phone buzzed and he grabbed for it a bit too quickly.

y/n <3: sorry, cant come out

jamie:everything alright?

y/n<3: yeah just tired, have fun

Jamie stared at your response, pursing his lips as he tapped the table anxiously.

"Jamie, if you shake your leg any fast, you're gonna cause and earthquake," Colin chuckled as he and Isaac slid back in across the booth.

Jamie didn't even realize he'd been shaking his leg. "Whoops, sorry mate." He glanced down at his phone again and made a decision. "Look, sorry guys, I think I've gotta go."

"What? You're ditching us?" Isaac barked in outrage. "We just got out here."

"Sorry, I owe you one," Jamie downed his beer and threw down some quid. "Next rounds on me."

And he was out the door.

...

You were laying on your couch, a heating pad on your stomach and an ice pack on your head. You had a movie on in the background but really you were just enjoying not standing on your feet. It had been a week. A long week. And most of all, you missed Jamie.

When you were especially busy at work you didn't get to see him a lot. But part of it was you avoiding him. You didn't want to be there the next morning when he sobered up and realized the mistake he'd made by kissing you. Then making out with you.

There was a knock at the door and you groaned, not moving from your spot. Whoever it was, they would have to come back another time. But after a moment, the knocking returned. You huffed and got up out of your very comfortable position to go open the door. Surprisingly, it was:

"Jamie?" you questioned, flipping on the porch light. "What are you doing here?"

He shrugged and pulled out a bottle of prosecco. "Thought you could use a drink."

You stared at the alcohol in his hand. This couldn't be happening again. Was he trying to get you drunk so you'd be stupid enough to kiss him again?

"Jamie..." You bit your lip. "I'm not sure that's a good idea."

As if he read your mind, his eyes widened. "Oh, shit. Fuck, no. That's not what I meant- we don't need to- fuck, I'm sorry. I'm not trying to pavlov you."

"Pavlov me? What are you on about?" You scoffed, quirking an eyebrow.

"Keeley told me about Pavlov and the dog and whatever," he explained. "And I just brought you this cause I know you can't stand champagne and we don't even have to drink, I just wanted to-fuck I'm sorry."

You giggled at his flustered behavior. "It's okay, why don't you come inside."

You brought him inside and put the prosecco in the refrigerator, far from reach.

"Now, tell me, Jamie, why are you here?" you asked as you flopped down on the couch next to him.

He shrugged, pulling a pillow into his lap. "I wanted to make sure you were okay, is all. Missed you this week."

You felt your heart flutter. "I missed you, too."

He looked up at you. Somewhat surprised by your admission.

"I thought... I mean I hoped that after last week..."

"Jamie, let me stop you there," You cut him off. "You don't need to try and spare my feelings. I fucked up."

"You... fucked up?"

"Yeah. When I get drunk I get emotional and I let my stupid feelings get the better of me," you frowned, shaking your head. "But I care more about our friendship. So let's just pretend it never happened."

Now it was Jamie's turn to frown. "Your feelings?"

"Yeah, I know, I'm sorry," you averted your eyes from him. "It's stupid, I'll get over them. But let's lay off the prosecco until then ye-"

He grabbed your chin between his fingers and gently pulled you so you were forced to look at him. Your eyes widened, when did he get so close?

"(Y/N), do you like me?" His voice was low and husky.

Your eyes were so big as they looked back and forth between Jamie's grey ones. "Yes."

"Can I kiss you?"

What? He was fully sober asking if he could kiss me. But his grip on my chin was firm, yet gentle as he rubbed his thumb back and forth. You just nodded. He pulled you the rest of the way into him as he kissed you.

The last time you'd kissed, you'd both been bubbly and drunk. The kiss was sloppy and heated but this kiss... this kiss was slow and sweet. He took his time, moving his hand to cup your head in his hand, his fingers tangling in your hair. He moved his mouth slowly, each kiss lasting a moment longer than the last until he finally pulled back just a bit.

His eyes opened, meeting yours. You were breathless, longing for more. He kissed you one more time, shorter, like he was making sure he'd memorized the way your lips felt. When he pulled away, his eyes were still closed, a lazy smirk appearing on his face.

"That was..." you started.

"Good, really good," he finished, his eyes finally opening. "I mean, was it good for you?"

"Yes," you answered, a second too quickly. "Let's do it again."

He chuckled, pulling you into his lap. "Oh, we will be doing a lot of that from now on."

[schoenpepper]

Happier (Ed Sheeran)

Intro: You were a mistake he'd made once upon a time.

Warnings: bad writing, awful grammar, not proofread, reader goes to therapy, bad bad thoughts like im sorry, kinda depressing

A/N: Last one of the stock. Pretty sure this is the shortest one I've made so far.

Masterlist

Walking down 29th and Park

I saw you in another's arms

Only a month we've been apart

You look happier

It's years past your NRC days when you see Jack again. Slightly taller, more mature, and happier than you'd ever seen him before. With someone you'd never seen before. You shrink back into the booth of your table and watch as the wolf beastman takes a seat nearby, close enough that you can see them, but angled in a way that makes it harder for them to see you. You don't want to watch them, you don't want to trap yourself in the ever growing forest of misery you'd planted since the day you left him. You want to eat your dinner in peace, alone. But the way the corners of his eyes crinkle when he smiles shoots you with the same arrow you'd gotten hit by far too long ago.

And again, you see him.

The him who gave you flowers every other day and opened every door for you. The him who loved running with you and listening to you rant about whatever caught your eye. The him that loved you.

The him that was yours.

He's not anymore. But you still vividly recall when he was. The person you shattered in your clueless teenage years is pieced together into someone you don't know anymore but still recognize.

Saw you walk inside a bar

He said somethin' to make you laugh

I saw that both your smiles were twice as wide as ours

Yeah, you look happier, you do

Jack looks at you with a shy smile, hands gently holding a bouquet of your favorite flowers. "For you. I like you, Y/N."

You take the flowers with a soft giggle and push yourself on your tiptoes in order to kiss his cheek. You're sure you're blushing as hard as he is, if not harder. "Thank you, Jack. I like you too." Your words push the pressure off his shoulders and his smile widens. Neither of you have really had romantic relationships before, but you think you can work it out with him.

He offers to take you out on your very first date to the movies. You two choose a stupid romcom filled to the brim with misunderstandings that eventually led to the leads breaking up at the end.

If only you'd know then.

You take him to your favorite place afterwards for dinner. He orders your favorite pasta dish and you try something new on the menu recommended by your waiter. You tease him to try that spaghetti scene from the movie, but the pasta breaks before you two can kiss. You laugh it off and finish dinner. It's raining really heavily when you two need to get back to campus, but Jack, ever the gentleman, gives you his coat to use as an umbrella and you run back to the castle soaking wet because of course his coat couldn't ward it all off. But you smile, and he smiles back, and you leave him with one final kiss before heading to your respective mirrors.

Ain't nobody hurt you like I hurt you

But ain't nobody love you like I do

Promise that I will not take it personal, baby

If you're movin' on with someone new

"You guys look great together!"

"Oh this is insane, why did you get someone before I di—ow Deuce, what the fuck?"

"Don't mind him, Y/N, we're all very happy for you guys."

"I've always known something was up with the both of you!"

You take your friends' words as congratulations, shyly holding onto Jack's hand while you blush. "Thanks, guys."

Jack nods with a grin, the same soft blush covering his cheeks. "Yeah, I think we'll be very happy together. I've liked them for a long time now, so I'm glad our friends think we fit well together."

"To Jack and Y/N!" Epel raises his glass of apple cider. The rest of the group follow suit.

"To Jack and Y/N!"

'Cause baby you look happier, you do

My friends told me one day I'll feel it too

And until then I'll smile to hide the truth

But I know I was happier with you

Inky black thoughts crawled through your skin and into your veins; your bloodstream is self-made venom that wants nothing but to end you in your own mind. You hear the words whispered about you in every corner, but when you look, there's no one there. There is no monster sulking in the darkness except for you.

It's all you.

It was always you.

You look at yourself in the mirror and think about every other person that attends this school. Who are you compared to them? When they're all so powerful and amazing, where does that leave you?

"Y/N, are you okay in there?"

You rinse your face with water, hoping it masks your tears. The water doesn't hide your reddened eyes and nose, so you keep the door locked. "Jack! I'm fine, just need a sec. Go ahead without me."

When you're spiraling down into the abyss, you shouldn't bring your lover with you.

But if he holds out his hand to you, can you trust yourself not to pull him down?

Sat in the corner of the room

Everything's reminding me of you

Nursing an empty bottle

And telling myself you're happier, aren't you?

"I don't know Jack, I'm tired! I'm done!" You sob, scream, right where he pulls you impossibly close against his chest. Your hands ball into fists that weakly hit him. Your tears soak through his shirt. He takes all of it in stride. He's always so calm, isn't he? Even as you're dying and eating yourself up from the inside, he's always there to help you.

Why are you such a burden?

"It's okay."

It's not okay. You know that. He knows that. Neither of you can accept it. He runs his fingers through your hair in an attempt to soothe you. It doesn't work.

"We'll get through this."

Why is he always putting himself aside for you? You know you're making him miserable, but you can't help it anymore. You're just so selfish, aren't you? It's always about your problems. Have you never stopped to think about his?

"We can make it together."

Will you? You feel him slipping through your fingers. You're just weighing him down, everybody else too. Maybe if you were actually competent, he wouldn't be hurting like this, wouldn't have to always comfort you and kiss you and hug you and make sure you're alright.

"I love you."

You love him too.

But what if it isn't enough anymore?

(Hey, yeah, hey, yeah, hey, yeah)

Oh, ain't nobody hurt you like I hurt you (hey, yeah, hey, yeah)

But ain't nobody need you like I do (hey, yeah, hey, yeah)

I know that there's others that deserve you (hey, yeah, hey, yeah)

But my darlin', I am still in love with you

"I'm sorry, Jack."

You are.

"I love you."

You do.

So why is it that every word that comes from your lips feels like it cut through your throat and spilled blood? You're crying, why are you crying? You're the one hurting him. You're the one abandoning him. It's you, you're the problem. It was always your fault, never his. He's been nothing but kind and patient and understanding and you've always been such a chore. Jack Howl is a person who should end up with someone whole. Someone who had crystalline fractures at worst.

You. You've already cracked into shards. His hands bleed when they touch what you are now.

"Y/N, we can still fix this."

You shake your head.

You repeat your spiel.

You run away to avoid seeing his tears; the first ones you've ever seen him shed.

You love him too much to keep hurting him.

But I guess you look happier, you do

My friends told me one day I'll feel it too

I could try to smile to hide the truth

But I know I was happier with you

"What else do you feel?"

"Hatred."

"You hate him?"

You laugh. You're comfortably laid down on the soft couch, fiddling with your fingers. You glance at the middle aged woman taking notes on a clipboard. "No. I hate myself."

"And why is that?"

"Because I hurt him."

"How did you hurt him?"

This woman is starting to get on your nerves. You take a deep breath and remember the thaumarks you used to secure this session. You remember the faces of your friends who pushed you here. You remember Jack saying he wished the best for you even after you broke his heart. You need to do this. If not for yourself, for the people that matter.

"I pushed him away." You say. "I screamed and I cried and I broke up with him."

"Do you regret it?"

The familiar feeling of tears streaming down your cheeks makes you laugh again.

"No."

"Why not?"

"I would have only hurt him more."

Hey, yeah, hey, yeah, hey, yeah

Hey, yeah, hey, yeah, hey, yeah

Hey, yeah, hey, yeah, hey, yeah

Hey, yeah, hey, yeah, hey, yeah

You hide yourself behind the menu even when you know he doesn't see you. You don't think he'd even recognize you. But you hide, because even after all this time, you're ashamed of how you left him.

But you watch him, like in a hypnotic trance.

He and the person he's with finish dinner. You poke at your plate and think it's nice.

He's smiling.

He looks so happy.

Jack kneels on one knee next to the person he's with. Your heart hammers in your chest before swiftly dying, snuffed out like a candle. He pulls out a small box and a pretty ring and you're reminded of everything you could have been if you just knew how to take the hand he'd always offered.

Maybe now it would have been you with the ring and the fancy dinner instead of—

No. Don't think like this.

Jack couldn't have helped you the way you think he could have. You couldn't love someone when you despised yourself so much.

He couldn't have fixed you.

'Cause baby, you look happier, you do

I knew one day you'd fall for someone new

But if he breaks your heart like lovers do

Just know that I'll be waitin' here for you

You stand up and leave.

You think he catches your eye for one moment. You don't hesitate to keep walking. Tears blur your vision as you head back to your car. You sit there for a moment to collect yourself.

You shake every thought out of your head.

You loved him.

(You love him.)

You can't love him anymore. Not when he's moved on, and happy, and he no longer needs to pick up the pieces when you break every single time. You can't bloody his hands forever.

He's better off without you. 

[sparkbeast20]

Silent Treatment

This one is going to be long

House of Lamentation (New) (8)

Leviathan: Please! I'm sorry MC!

Asmodeus: Darling please!

Beelzebub: We didn't know that it brought back bad memories.

Beelzebub: We're sorry

Beelzebub: 😥😥😥

67 (2) Beel's POV

Belphegor: Beel I don't know if I have the right to say something in chat right now.

Belphegor: I hate it, but I think it's best that you talk for the two of us right now.

House of Lamentation (New) (8)

Beelzebub: MC please.

Leviathan: Mammon say something!

Leviathan: Beg, cry. Anything!

Leviathan: They have a soft spot for you, so please do anything!

Asmodeus: Levi try calling them on computer!

25(2) Asmo's POV

Mammon: Shit! I tried their door, but they locked it with a spell!

Mammon: Keep talkin' while I try the window!

House of Lamentation (New) (8)

Satan: I understand that your angry, I would be too.

Satan: We made a mistake.

Satan's chat with you: Satan's POV

Satan: Kitten.

Satan: MC.

Satan: I... I don't feel your anger.

Satan: Please say something.

Satan: Yell from your room.

Satan: So I know that your angry!

House of Lamentation (New) (8)

Lucifer: This silent treatment has gone long enough.

Satan: SHUT THE FUCK UP LUCIFER!

Leviathan: You're just making things worse!!!

Beelzebub: Please Lucifer.

Asmodeus' chat with you: Asmo's POV

Asmodeus: I get it.

Asmodeus: Moving past from an old relationship is painful.

Asmodeus: I'm sorry that we brought back painful memories.

Asmodeus: You know that we'll never hurt you like that.

Asmodeus: And we don't see you like that!

Asmodeus: I understand that you needed space after what happened.

Asmodeus: But you been silent for 2 days.

Asmodeus: And none of us have seen or heard from you.

Asmodeus: MC...

Asmodeus: Please.

Asmodeus: It's torture and I'm getting scared

Asmodeus: It kills me when I don't hear anything from you.

Asmodeus: Please... Darling.

House of Lamentation (New) (8)

Beelzebub: MC.

Beelzebub: All of us just want to hear from you.

Beelzebub: Belphie is getting worried.

Beelzebub: He can't find his way into your dream.

Leviathan: Belphie is trying to do what?!?!

Satan: Belphegor.

Satan: I'm warning you.

Beelzebub: It's nothing like that!!!

Beelzebub: He just wanted to make sure that he can still sense MC's mind in the dreamscape.

Beelzebub: But he found out that MC lock their mind with a hex.

Beelzebub: He just wanted to know that there is still an option to communicate with MC.

Mammon's chat with you: Mammon's POV

Mammon: Babe, talk to me!!

Mammon: You locked your door and windows with a spell.

Mammon: Even your windows are blocked by the curtains that me and my crows can't look inside your room.

Mammon: Yeah! I had one of my crows keep an eye on ya.

Mammon: Cuz' I'm worried when did leave yer room after that stupid surprise party.

Mammon: Treasure, please

Mammon: I'm leaning on your window right now and I don't hear anything.

Where's My Money Levi's POV

Leviathan: Mammon!!!!

Mammon: Workin' on it!

12 (2) Lucifer's POV

Mammon: This is bad!!

Mammon: Lucifer!

Mammon: I need ya to come here and break this spell!!

Mammon: I can sense something in the room!!

Mammon: Lucifer!

Mammon: LUCIFER!?!?!

Tea Demons Lucifer's POV

Barbatos: Lucifer.

Barbatos: Whatever is happening in HOL, you need to step in.

Barbatos: I can sense someone teleporting from that area.

Lucifer: I know.

Lucifer's chat with you: Lucifer's POV

Lucifer: Love.

Lucifer: Whatever your planning.

Lucifer: Please. Reconsider.

Lucifer: You know that I'm here, and so as my brothers.

Lucifer: Diavolo, Barbatos, Simeon and Solomon.

Lucifer: But we can't help you, if you don't say something.

Lucifer: If you wanted space from this place for a couple of days, then I'll give you that.

Barbatos' chat with you: Barbatos' POV

Barbatos: Darling.

Barbatos: This silence from you is worrisome.

Barbatos: You know I can read you well and can tell that something is bothering you.

Barbatos: But this.

Barbatos: I can't read you at all.

Invocatio (3) Solomon's POV

Asmodeus: SOLOMON!!!

Asmodeus: Please!!!

Asmodeus: You can talk to them.

Asmodeus: I'm not ashamed to say that.

Asmodeus: You and MC haver this connection that we'll never have.

Barbatos: Solomon.

Barbatos: He's right.

Solomon's chat with you: Solomon's POV

Solomon: Well, it seem that you really have your ways to these demons that I couldn't have.

Solomon: 😅

Solomon: ...

Solomon: In all seriousness.

Solomon: You and I both know, that giving them the silent treatment and not showing your face to them is giving them ideas.

Solomon: Now, granted. Most of the time they always underestimate us for being human...

Solomon: More so you, because well. I'm Immortal.

Solomon: ...

Solomon: The one thing that we should've in common.

Solomon: The lingering threat of everything has an end for humans.

Solomon: But not me.

Solomon: So I doubt is to why Asmodeus and Barbatos think of that I can talk to you.

Solomon: Never the less, even if there is or isn't something that connect us.

Solomon: What I do understand is this.

Solomon: Traumatic event and loss stick with us.

Solomon: Even so far is to change how our way of thinking and behavior.

Solomon: I know that all too well.

Solomon: So, please.

Solomon: Share your pain with me. Love.

Simeon's chat with you: Simeon's POV

Simeon: MC.

Simeon: I haven't heard from you in a couple of days now.

Simeon: I manage to tell Luke that you're just not feeling well.

Simeon: However, that made things more complicated since he want to see you.

Simeon: If you read this, please send Luke a quick chat.

Simeon: Just to ease his worries. My Lamb

Diavolo's chat with you: Diavolo's POV

Diavolo: My dear?

Diavolo: Love?

Diavolo: MC?

Diavolo: If you read this. Please.

Diavolo: Let me know, if your feeling talk about what happened.

Diavolo: Is perfectly understandable if you need some space.

Diavolo: But it will ease our worries if heard something from you.

Diavolo: Just one sound.

Belphegor's chat with you: Belphie's POV

Belphegor: MC.

Belphegor: Please.

Belphegor: Say something. Anything!

Belphegor: 😥

Belphegor: I hate when you go quiet.

Belphegor: I hate it.

Belphegor: I reminds me too much about-

Belphegor: ...

Belphegor: MC, please. I just want to know that you're still there.

Beelzebub's chat with you: Beel's POV

Beelzebub: MC...

Beelzebub: MC...

Beelzebub: ...

Beelzebub: Don't be mad.

Leviathan's chat with you: Levi's POV

Leviathan: Henry?

Leviathan: Whatever you're thinking-

Leviathan: We don't see you any different!

Leviathan: We still love you!!

Leviathan: ...

Leviathan: I still love you.

After an Hour...

The Fantastic Three (3) Diavolo's POV

Barbatos: I want to inform the two of you that I sense someone leaving Devildom by teleportation from the House of Lamentation.

Barbatos: They're gone back.

Luke's chat with you: Luke's POV

MC: Hey Luke!

MC: Just to let you know that went back to the human world for a couple of weeks.

MC: Don't worry your silly little head.

MC: Its a family thing.

MC: I'll be back before you know it!

MC: Talk to you when I get back.

You and Me with the thing called Love (12) Your POV

MC: Hi.

MC: ...

MC: Sorry.

MC: For everything.

MC: For not replying.

MC: For not showing my face...

MC: For the Silent.

MC: I hated what they done to me.

MC: And what I have done to them.

MC: The pain I went through.

MC: And the guilt for my action.

MC: I was too much for me to go through again.

MC: And made me think...

MC: How I don't deserve any of you.

MC: How I hate that you don't see me as a broke person.

MC: ...

MC: But seeing all these chats...

MC: All these words...

MC: Is somewhat... Uplifting.

MC: When I was with them.

MC: They never once try and reach out when I get like this.

MC: No text, no coming to my house to see if I'm feeling alright.

MC: Nothing.

MC: ...

MC: And that. Gave me the impression that I was in the wrong and I was being dramatic.

MC: So. I caved in and push myself to apologies and say I was at fault.

MC: Since then, I always kneel and ask for forgiveness.

MC: ...

MC: It gotten to a point that I can't handle it and just snap.

MC: Like what I did at the surprise party.

MC: Especially when I didn't have a reason to snap!

MC: I just heard that stupid song and all I saw was red...

MC: And their face.

MC: I'm so sorry.

MC: I couldn't have the guts to face any of you, so I hid and stayed silent for these past two days.

MC: Until now I can't...

MC: Which is why I went back to the human world to cool down a bit.

MC: And if any of you are worried that I might do something reckless.

MC: Don't!

MC: I use this curse to connect my soul with a link to one of you.

MC: That way you'll know if my soul left my body.

MC: Sorry if I sound morbid, but I couldn't of way to say it less harsh?

MC: Then again, I think I can get a pass on having a dark sense of humor every now and then

MC: 😅

MC: Still, I think I okay chatting and calling you guys again.

MC: I just can't face any of you right now.

MC: Don't worry.

MC: I'll be back before any of you knows it.

MC: ...

MC: Thanks.

MC: For still loving me even if I snapped like that.

MC: And that you don't think less of me.

MC: Seeing these chat made me realize.

MC: That I have something great in my life.

MC: And I ain't going to let that go.

MC: Believe that.

MC: See you all when I get back!

MC: Love you all

MC: 😚

[roach-works]

hey i'd just like to come on here and formerly apologize. i did more digging, and I realized frankly, i shouldn't have done that. and i'm extremely sorry. i'm not only regretting it because of the hate and whatever i'm getting in return, but i realized I shouldn't have come for you like that. it was in the past and i didn't think at all. and you're incredibly right with everything you said. i'm once again so sorry for coming out and harrasing you about something so long ago, and frankly, not even as bad as some others have done. you are right- i am just a silly teenager and i'm willing to accept my mistakes as one. this has taught me a lot. and yes, this is ser0_t0nin, i just changed my user because I had people messaging and sending me asks telling me to off myself, and having others attack my other socials. i am once again so sorry. thank you for this learning experience and I will never repeat this incident to anyone else. It was so wrong of me to just come out and accuse you of shit. anyways i keep saying sorry a lot but it's cause I am. I immediately regretted it, even after I sent the stupid ask in. i'm sorry if I made the day bad for you and I wish you the best. once again, for the seventh millionth time, im sorry. ps. you don't have to accept my apology i just hope you know i took everything you said into consideration and have changed my outlook on things. i'm sorry.

huh, it's fucked up that people have been telling you to kill yourself. while that isn't a lesson i would wish on anyone-- and i have repeatedly tried to make it clear to my followers that harassment is wrong and nobody should ever do it, no matter the target--it does serve as a pretty clear demonstration that the internet is full of reactive assholes who don't actually care about right or wrong, just finding their next victim. it could be me, it could be you. eventually it will be both of us.

im sorry you're having such a bad time. it was my intention to give you a sharp wake-up call, not weeks of undeserved suffering. as you can see, a lot of getting by on the internet these days is blind luck and a very thick skin, not behaving well or treating people right. still, being a teenager is hard enough without also slogging through harassment, so you've got my sympathies. i hope you get through this in one piece, and find a comfortable place to enjoy yourself again.

turn anonymous asks off, and good luck.

[d1xonss]

Desert Rose

Chapter 16 ~ It ain't like that

✧ Pairing : Daryl Dixon x Rose

✧ Era : Season 2

✧ Word Count : 3.6k

In this chapter ~ After a day full of awkward tension within the group and an even more awkward dinner, Rose finds herself trailing back up towards where Daryl is recovering, in hopes to find some kind of escape. But not even she could deny that she enjoyed his company and presence more than she ever imagined.

Walking down the porch steps, my eyes scanned around the area to see if I could spot Carl anywhere. But from what I could see he wasn't anywhere out in the open.  I then caught sight of Dale sitting nearby in one of his chairs just outside of the RV reading a book, his glasses set on the tip of his nose.

I let out a sigh, swallowing my embarrassment thickly before walking up to him. I could feel the uncomfortable conversation from all the way over here about what he witnessed me do, but we both had to get over it some way I guess.

"Hey, have you seen Carl? I'm supposed to take him shooting." I explained.

He just nodded his head back towards the RV, not taking his eyes off the page. My eyes narrowed as I stood there for a moment, debating if I should say something else about the obvious tension or not. I felt like I had every good reason to yell at Andrea because what she did was stupid, and everyone knew how fast she could've killed Daryl. I didn't expect Dale to necessarily take my side, but I also wasn't expecting him to ignore me.

"You're mad at me for what I did." I stated.

His eyes finally panned up towards me slowly, "I'm not mad, but I sure as hell didn't expect that from you Rose." he snapped.

"Well, what did you expect me to do?" I asked with a scoff, "Just sit there and let Andrea think she can get away with bloody murder?"

The man did nothing but stare at me, not having a good enough response to say out loud, though he wanted to defend her.

"Look, I know you're close with her, but you have to admit she doesn't listen for anything, and she thinks she can just do whatever she wants. I wanted to make it clear that she isn't going to get away with that type of shit anymore. Not as long as I'm around."

The man licked his lips in annoyance, taking his reading glasses of to look towards me with a tilted head, "The message is fair, but it's the way you said it to her and how you got physical. That's what I don't like."

"Heat of the moment." I muttered with a shrug.

"You have to understand that she's going through a hard time right now. You were there when she lost Amy and when she wanted to stay behind at the CDC, you witnessed those things." he expressed with gesturing hands.

"Dale, I understand that okay? But that doesn't give her a free pass to do whatever she wants, especially when it involves hurting other people. She didn't listen, simple as that, and Daryl almost lost his life because of it."

"Why are you so concerned about Daryl?" he then asked suddenly.

"You're not?" I clapped back.

"I am," he assured, "But I didn't tackle Andrea and scream at her because of her mistake." he replied.

"Dale," I said sternly, "That's not the point. The point is she fucked up and I handled it. I'm sorry if what I did upset you, but I'm sure as hell not sorry for doing it."

He opened his mouth to say something in return, but I was already halfway in the RV before he had the chance to utter another word. I don't know why he brought up Daryl like that, but the fact that he did, trying to take the conversation in a whole different direction, really pissed me off.

Carl was sitting down at the table when I walked in, reading a comic book quietly to himself. I didn't know how much of the conversation he heard, but to me it didn't matter. I just tried my best to put on a fake smile and pretend like the argument didn't happen.

"Hey kid, you ready to go practice?" I asked him.

He smiled and nodded his head, placing his book down to stand up and leave. We then walked out of the RV and made our way over to Rick to let him know we were heading out, and when he gave us the okay, we headed towards the trees. Trying to find a safe place to practice where the shots couldn't be heard anywhere near the farm.

My mind was elsewhere as we walked side by side, not being able to shake the conversation Dale and I had. I even felt myself began to question if I was truly in the wrong, if I truly was a bit too harsh. But in the end I knew I wasn't.

Maybe I had taken it a bit too far, but I wanted her to actually hear me. That, and the anger I felt seemed to have gotten the best of me, though it still didn't mean I regretted a thing.

"I heard your fight with Dale." Carl said suddenly.

I sighed with my eyes closed, "It wasn't a fight, it was just... a disagreement...about something I did earlier."

"Everyone kind of knows know," he replied. "What you did to Andrea I mean."

"Great." I deadpanned.

"I don't think it's bad. I think you were just trying to protect Daryl, and so does everyone else... plus I don't really like Andrea she's kind of mean to me." he said.

A slow smile creeped onto my face, "Yeah? Well, next time she's mean to you tell me, I'll put her on her ass again." I said, nudging my arm with his.

He smiled and nodded as we continued to walk through the woods.

We had been practicing for around two hours and the sun was starting to set, so we started to wrap it up and walk back to the farm. The kid was actually a pretty good shot and picked up fast on how to aim. I was proud of him, and I knew his dad would be too once the kid told him every single detail. He was practically skipping down the dirt path, too excited to tell everyone about the things he had accomplished.

The only thing we needed to do now was to get him some moving targets. Make it a little more challenging for him so he had something even better to brag about.

Once the house began to come into view, the second Carl spotted Rick, he rushed towards him. His mouth ran constantly as he told him everything and how much fun he seemed to have. Rick nodded listened to his son before looking up at me and smiling silently in appreciation.

I only chimed in once to genuinely tell him how well he did and how much of a natural he was when it came to this. He even knew how to hold the gun before I even got the chance to show him myself. But I guess judging by who his dad is, it wasn't too big of a surprise.

Once Carl ran inside to tell his mom as well, Rick came up next to me, "Thank you for taking him out there, I can tell he had a lot of fun." he said with a smile, "Are you sure you were okay with taking him? You're still injured, you know."

I smiled and shook my head, "No, I'm okay don't worry. I bounce back pretty quick."

He nodded and wrapped an arm around me as we made our way back to the house, the smell of the freshly cooked food coming out of the open windows.

A few women from our group decided to get together and help make a giant dinner for Hershel and his family. A simple thank you for letting us stay on their land for so long, showing them how much we truly appreciated it.

We all began to gather around with plates full of food in the dining room, sitting myself down in the space between Glenn and Rick at the giant table.

Though I soon came to realize only after a few seconds that I could easily cut the tension in here with a knife. Everyone was completely silent as we ate, the only sound being the utensils against the plates, and I didn't fail to notice the glares I was receiving from Shane for absolutely no reason.

He stared at me through his tired lids, chewing his food aggressively as if I had shit in the food he was eating. His eyes seemed darker and dead, making me grow slightly uncomfortable in my seat as I shifted around.

My eyes then locked with Andrea's as she looked at me sadly, almost apologetically, with Dale right next to her giving me the same expression. I clenched my teeth together harshly, wanting to just get away from the six watchful eyes that burned into my skin.

Glenn pushed his food around on his plate awkwardly, "So... does anyone know how to play guitar?" he asked out of the blue, "I saw one in here earlier."

I could tell how desperately he was trying to break the awful awkward silence, and though everyone's attention was turned to him as he spoke, no one answered.

But something else had to have happened while I was out with Carl, there's no way this was all because of what I did a few hours ago with Andrea. I then saw Hershel giving Rick some kind of glare, and that's all I needed to see to know that something happened between them as well. I'm just glad it wasn't all pinned on me at least.

"Oh come on, someone has to know how to play." Glenn tried again with somewhat of a hopeful smile.

I did. But I sure as hell wasn't going to say anything about it right now.

"...Otis did." Patricia finally muttered sadly.

With a nod I got up, not being able to take the tension anymore, along with the three people continuing to bore holes into my head. To find some kind of excuse, I announced quietly that I would take a plate of food up to Daryl who was still resting in bed before leaving the room in a hurry.

I passed Carol on my way to the kitchen and stopped her for a moment, "Hey, if I were you, I would walk back into that room really slow." I advised.

She looked at me and nodded, smiling slightly to tell me she knew exactly what I was talking about.

I then filled another plate and made my way up slowly to Daryl's room. I softly knocked on the wooden door and waited until I heard his voice of approval before making my way in. Opening the door, I saw Daryl was sitting up against the bed frame with a book in his hand, looking a lot better than he did just a few hours ago.

"Hey, what are you reading?" I asked him as I made my way over to sit in the chair from earlier.

He looked at me with slightly wide eyes before shaking his head, "Nothin..." he muttered, attempting to hide the book under the covers.

My eyes narrowed at him in suspicion, glancing briefly at the cover before he could hide it completely and gasped dramatically. It was one of the books I took from the CDC.

"Thief." I scolded.

"Gimme a break, m' bored out of my mind in here."he said, rolling his eyes.

"Okay, fine," I caved, "But I want that back when you're done."

He glanced up at me with a smile, nodding, "Yes ma'am." he said deeply.

One of my eyebrows pulled up and I scoffed dismissively, but I swear if the room had been quieter, he would probably be able to hear my heart hammering in my chest. Everything about that was perfect. The words, the way he said it, the way he sounded when he said it, good God.

When I finally glanced back up after a few seconds I saw him smirking at me, practically seeing right through me as I rolled my eyes in response.

"I brought you some food." I then said, changing the subject.

"Thanks." he responded, taking the plate from me and settling it in his lap.

We sat there in comfortable silence for a few minutes as he ate, though I scanned his face briefly and felt myself frown a bit. Even though he was looking a little better, I could tell he hadn't slept, the darker bags under his eyes being a dead giveaway. Though I couldn't remember the last time he had actually gotten a good night's sleep.

He then broke the silence, "How'd the practice with Carl go?"

"Oh, it was actually really good. The kids actually a pretty good shot, he's a natural." I replied.

He glanced up at me, "Or maybe it's just cause he's gotta good teacher."

I tilted my head at him, but right as I was about to say something else, there was a knock at the door, Carol walking in only a moment later. She looked a little apologetic as she entered the room, seeing she was interrupting something, but I just smiled at her to show her it was just fine.

"Sorry," she cringed, "Just came in here to ask how you're feeling." she spoke to Daryl.

"Like I've been shot." he responded and gave me a side glance with a smirk, repeating the words I told him a few days ago.

She just nodded in understanding, "I just wanted to say thank you for the things you did today. You did more for my little girl, then her own daddy ever did in her whole life."

He scoffed with a shake of his head as he pushed the food around on his plate, "Rick or Shane would've done the same thing. Ain't nothin."

"Yeah...but you're every bit as good as them. Every bit." she said.

Then she leaned over and placed a kiss on the side of his head, mindful around the bandage, and my heart warmed a little at the sight. I thought it was really sweet that the two of them were talking more and becoming closer, even if the circumstances weren't the greatest.

But her actions made Daryl slightly uncomfortable however, and I pressed my lips together as I tried not to laugh at the scrunched up look on his face. She then gave me another small smile before turning and silently leaving the room, shutting the door silently. It was then and only then I finally let out a quiet laugh, to which I received a glare in return.

"What are you laughin at?" he annoyedly asked me.

I just smiled sweetly, before puckering up my lips and beginning to make kissy noises at him. He sighed and rolled his eyes dramatically before he started to eat his food again.

He let out a huff, "Stop, it ain't even like that." he said.

"Oh, it's not?" I asked sarcastically.

"It ain't. Not at all." he mumbled seriously.

Even after hearing that, I still made more kissy noises towards him, really dramatically too before he got fed up after a few more seconds, "Y'know what, get out. I don't want you here no more."

"No, no," I laughed, "Please don't make me go back down there. I would rather kill myself with one of Hershel's fancy forks then go back down there."

He chuckled, "That bad huh?"

"Horrifying," I said, "Everyone is in there eating in painfully awkward silence and there's this weird tension everywhere. Pretty please don't kick me out."

He looked at me for another moment, noticing how desperate I became as I looked at him with big eyes, "Fine. But you quit teasin me bout what just happened. It ain't like that."

"Why do you care so much about what I think Daryl Dixon?" I asked.

He looked back at me mid bite, and I could see his cheeks started to turn red at just the simple use of his name. I loved how easy it was to embarrass him, but I didn't really know why this particular thing would make him blush. I knew it wasn't about Carol, I could tell he didn't have feelings for her, though I liked teasing him. But I didn't understand why he had become so flustered now.

"I don't." he finally seemed to answer after a few painfully long seconds.

He does.

"Okay." I said simply with a smile on my face.

He stared at me for a few more seconds before beginning to eat again. I sat there and let my mind wander to random things as he finished everything left on his plate.

Suddenly I remembered that Hershel wanted me out of the house as soon as I was feeling up to leaving, and I completely understood why. I mean there were only so many rooms, and I didn't want to be in there longer than I had to. He had already helped me out so much, I didn't want to be a burden, and it was the least I could do after he saved my ass. But Daryl noticed quickly that I got quiet and started spacing off.

"What'cha thinkin bout?" he asked me.

I shrugged, "Hershel just wants me out of the house by tonight I think, because I'm feeling better. I was just thinking about where I would stay."

He nodded in understanding as I began to ramble my thoughts, "It's too crowded in the RV and after my talk with Dale, I wouldn't want to go in there anyway. I might just sleep-"

"Ya can stay in my tent." he interrupted.

I raised my eyebrows, "Really?"

I noticed he swallowed thickly before responding, "I mean...we've shared a tent before, it's no big deal."

"That's true...are you sure?" I asked.

"M' sure."

I slowly nodded, "Okay, thanks," I smiled, "But I guess you have to stay in here for the next few days, huh?"

"M' already goin crazy in here, I don't think it'll last that long." he joked.

I let out a small laugh, "Yeah, probably not. Well, I'm gonna go so you can get some sleep, but here, I'll take your plate." I offered.

He met my extended hands in the middle, passing the dish over towards me as his hands brushed against my own.

"I'll see you tomorrow." I smiled, turning to make my way towards the door.

"See ya tomorrow." he said.

I left his room and shut the door quietly behind me, before walking back downstairs, passed the few other rooms. The truth was I really wasn't helping myself at all by spending even more time with Daryl. Don't get me wrong I wanted to, but I needed these feelings for him to go away at some point and sharing a tent with him wouldn't exactly help that. But where else was I supposed to stay?

Shaking my head, I made my way down the stairs and into the kitchen to see Beth standing by the sink washing the dishes from tonight. Her back was facing me as she had a stack still left to do, scrubbing away the stains the food left behind.

"Hey," I greeted before placing the plate next to the sink, "Do you want any help, hon?" I asked her.

She shook her head politely, "No it's okay, I got it." she assured with a smile, "Part of my chores dad still makes us do."

I nodded in understanding, turning to walk away when her voice stopped me. "Oh, hey Rose? Glenn mentioned at dinner to me after you left, that you like to sing." she stated.

I froze, "Well, I'll have to make sure to kill him for saying that later." I joked.

She laughed, "Well, my point is you like music and things like that, do you know how to play the guitar?"

"Um, yeah just a little, why do you ask?" I replied.

"Well, I was just wondering if you um... could maybe teach me?" she asked shyly.

"Oh yeah, yeah sure I can teach you." I said with no hesitation.

Beth seemed like such a sweet soul and spending more time with her wouldn't be an issue at all. Plus, I wanted to find something to do for her after she looked out for me right after I was shot; Daryl only telling me about it briefly. But I thought this was the perfect way to thank her.

"Really?" she asked, shocked.

"Yeah, it sounds like fun. We'll talk more about it tomorrow, okay?"

"Okay!" she exclaimed and ran up to give me a hug. I was taken back for a second before wrapping my arms around her as well.

She smiled at me brightly in silent thanks before going back to doing the dishes, and I left to go get my things and move them into Daryl's tent.

After I was done gathering everything up from the room I was previously staying in, I made my way out to his tent to get some sleep. But out of the corner of my eye I saw two figures having a hushed yet heated discussion by the barn. When I squinted my eyes a bit I saw that it was Glenn and Maggie, and Glenn seemed to be silently freaking out about something, flailing his hands in the air, while she was trying to quietly calm him down.

My eyes widened at the dramatic scene, but I just kept walking, silently deciding to not get involved at the moment. Plus, I was too tired to care and the painkillers I took earlier were starting to wear off, my side beginning to hurt a lot more that they were out of my system. My eyes grew too heavy and I was in too much pain to give a shit right now.

Once I found Daryl's tent, I dropped my stuff down on the left side and made myself comfortable on the sleeping back. I maneuvered on my back to look up at the ceiling of the tent, my eyelids fluttering closed.

The last thing I could hear right before I passed out, were Glenn and Maggie growing louder as they argued about walkers. But then again, it was probably just a dream.

~ Thanks for reading!

[callsignfate]

Angry Laswell x Wife

I'm so sorry I was gone so long, I'm still somehow sick, I do, however, have a lot of things to edit and post today! I plan to try to post the 3rd part of college laswell, and I want to rewrite Watcher 1's Watchdog part one and two because I have a plan for it to go a different way. I do plan to post that as well.

This is just a little blurb I wrote a while ago, and I decided to finally edit and post it.

Tw: Arguing, yelling, talk of death. You did something stupid, and Laswell yells at you for it. No comfort at the end. Use of female pronouns.

Masterlist/ More like this/ Request

♡~♡~♡~♡~♡~♡~♡~♡~♡~♡~♡~♡~♡~♡

"She did what?!" Kate yelled, her voice echoing loudly through the hallways before she turned her attention to the messenger. He scurried away, sensing the brewing storm he had just unleashed.

Kate's leg bounced nervously as she struggled to contain the frustration building within her. She despised arguments, but this was inevitable, and it was going to be a big one. She couldn't let you off easily for your actions.

Before long, you were escorted into the room by two men who left promptly. The room's mess of papers indicated that a meeting had already taken place.

You opened your mouth, presumably to offer an explanation or apology, but Kate cut you off immediately.

"No- no. I don't want to hear it. What in God's fucking name were you thinking?" Kate stood up, her face reddened with anger, pacing in front of you. You knew that you were in for a stern lecture.

"I-" you tried to say something, but she interrupted once again.

"It was rhetorical. I don't actually want to know what you were thinking because it's probably some ridiculous thought process, if you even thought at all," Kate hissed, her exasperation showing.

"You- did you even begin to think? You just decided, 'Well, why the fuck not?' and did whatever you wanted? I married a bright woman, not some brainless reckless child who needs to be watched," Kate practically yelled, briefly glaring at you.

"Well..." you attempted to interject, but she wasn't ready to listen to your explanation.

"Well, nothing. I can't believe you. Do I need to babysit you too? I already babysit John and his team enough, now you? Did I let you spend too much time together? Did his reckless behavior rub off on you? God, please tell me this wasn't actually your idea," Kate sounded exasperated, reaching the end of her patience.

"Do you want an answer?" you asked, unsure if she wanted an actual response to her questions.

"I want an answer on why you thought risking your life on a random Tuesday while I'm at work was a great idea. That's what I'd like to know."

"I wasn't exactly risking my life, god how do I prase this without making it sound worse than it was," you mumbled, struggling to find the right words, but your explanation was making things worse rather than better.

"You don't! You don't make this better. You can't explain yourself. You risked your life, and for what?" Kate's voice was getting louder, her frustration and anger evident. She slumped back in her chair, burdened by the weight of your actions.

"I'm- I'm... sorry. I wasn't thinking," you admitted, the weight of your mistakes settling in.

"Yea, obviously," she retorted, cutting you off. The realization that you had made Kate's life harder gnawed at you.

Your head hung low as you searched for anything to say or do to make amends. "Is there anything I can do?" you asked quietly, genuine concern in your voice.

Silence followed. Kate's face displayed frustration and stress. She didn't speak; her mind was consumed by the situation. Eventually, she waved you away dismissively, and you understood her need for space, even though it stung.

You rose and nodded as you left the meeting room, feeling the weight of the guilt in your chest. The curious and judgmental looks from Kate's coworkers as you departed only added to your discomfort.

♡~♡~♡~♡~♡~♡~♡~♡~♡~♡~♡~♡~♡~♡

Masterlist/ More like this/ Request

[eloise-t-g]

long post ahead. i wanted to respond to some of the things i've seen people saying about the watcher situation. i honestly just needed to get some of this stuff off my chest lmao.

"sorry, the bridge has been burnt and i can no longer support watcher" - valid.

"i'm happy with this compromise and will continue to watch their content" - valid.

"oh so they apologise, change nothing, and now people are happy to give them money?" - things have changed. they compromised and completely changed their plan for the new website. did you not watch the update video? they're also issuing refunds to anyone who wants one.

"i bet people who over-reacted feel real stupid now!" - some people over-reacted, but a lot of people had valid criticisms and concerns. they shouldn't feel stupid if they expressed it in a non-abusive way.

"yay, we successfully bullied them into changing their minds!" - you're ... you're proud that you bullied someone? this isn't fucking elon musk or jeff bezos. these guys aren't multibillionaires exploiting their employees. these are three youtubers who want to pay themselves and their employees a living wage, while making content they're proud of, and they made a simple fucking mistake. stop throwing around the term 'eat the rich' as though it applies here.

"the apology video is clearly PR!" - yes, watcher is a business. this is how a business responds to situations like this. they had abuse hurled at them for 48 hours straight, they shouldn't feel bad for wanting to make sure everything said in the video was 100% agreed upon and analysed beforehand.

"steven was clearly the one behind this, he should be fired or step down!" - was he? do you know that for a fact? cause from what i saw, all three of them got in front of the camera and made the announcement video together. i agree that he should step down as CEO, but only because they clearly need someone who has actual business experience leading them (if you remember, ryan and shane stepped down a while ago because they didn't want to deal with that side of the company anymore - in the same video, they thanked steven for being the sole reason watcher was still going).

"they shouldn't have been silent the whole weekend" - maybe so, but it's clear they went into lockdown/crisis mode. also, businesses aren't open on weekends. i think it's fair that they waited until monday and took their time with it. maybe they should have tweeted something like "we're sorry and we're working on an explanation", but that just would have given people another place to attack them.

"you're all being parasocial" - i've seen this used against both people who are supporting/giving the team the benefit of the doubt, and people who are against everything. a lot of people (myself included) have used this experience to realise they were developing/had developed a parasocial relationship with these men. this is a good thing - it allows us to recognise these things and make changes within ourselves.

i think generally people are more parasocial towards youtubers than celebrities in films and tv shows. YT feels like there is a barrier removed between the creators and us; it makes us feel like we know these people in a way that we don't know actors who are always playing different roles. YT makes it easier to believe we're seeing the real people, when we really don't know them at all.

"why should i pay someone who owns a tesla?" - you don't have to. also, steven has been working consistently for years. it doesn't surprise me that he has enough savings for an expensive car. people are allowed to own things that you and i can't afford.

"they're embarrassed to be youtubers" - might be true, who knows. but for me it feels more like they want to be taken seriously as filmmakers/television producers, and don't feel like they can do that on YT.

"there's clearly money mismanagement going on" - i think this is likely. i personally don't know what it's like to run a business like this, which is why i've been watching videos from other youtubers who do. since they're saying they don't know where the funds are going, i'm inclined to believe watcher's budget is way off what it should be.

"why didn't they initially say they were having money troubles and might close doors?" - i can see both sides of this. i believe they should have recognised that their audience would have been more receptive to this kind of honesty. however, if you're asking people to give you money, while also saying the venture might not work out, it doesn't engender a great deal of trust. why should i pay for a 12 month sub if it's possible watcher will fold in 6? who will be around to issue me a refund then?

"we were happy with blue and yellow text on a screen!" - valid, but it's clear that they weren't. they clearly want to push themselves further creatively. on the other hand, it definitely feels like they got impatient and wanted that future creation to start now, when they don't have the funds for it. they shouldn't have tried to force their loyal audience to pay for content the audience didn't ask for.

"i don't want to fund steven, andrew, and adam flying around the world eating expensive food." - very valid. i wonder how different things would have been if this 'Worth It' revival had come around 6 months earlier. it still would have been tone deaf in a global living crisis, but i don't think people would have been this upset. what i don't understand is them doing this show if they genuinely couldn't afford it, which is the implication i got from them announcing it just before announcing the paywall.

"why don't they move their office out of LA?" - that would be incredibly expensive, especially for a company that is struggling financially. they would have to uproot their entire lives, and would probably lose a great number of their staff who don't want to/can't move. they would have to completely start over, which is something i imagine they're desperately trying to avoid.

i think the cancel culture that has grown in popularity over the internet over the last few years has led people to believe that:

they can say whatever they want online with no consequences.

people aren't allowed to make a single mistake, and should understand that when they do, it's okay to for others to spew hate and awfulness towards them.

part of me doesn't even know why i made this post, i think i just got sick of seeing the same complaints and questions lmao.

[goldenshornyjail]

People mistake wanting to fuck a character with them being a canonical bottom so anyways uhhh can i get stupid sexy terrorist catsuit blake getting railed into oblivion

When I originally read this, I was so excited to write a blurb for it. Unfortunately, every time I came back to it, my brain just went "Nah... I'm not feeling it." Well, I got the juices flowing now! I'll say Yang is wearing her volume 5 outfit.

*_*_*_*_*_*_*_*_*_*_*_*_*_*

On an SDC train approaching Vale.

Terrorist!Blake: (wearing skin tight, leather shorts with fishnets and thigh high, black leather boots, black leather corset with deep purple and red accents, black jacket with red stitching and a purple belladonna flower on the back, and a Grimm mask. An earpiece and microphone receiver are placed in her ear and around her neck in a collar)

Blake: (finishes planting the last charge on the dust storage door and presses a button on the receiver) Final charge has been placed.

Adam: Nice job, Darling. I knew you could handle it. Make your way to the last car so we can ditch the train and blow the whole train sky high.

Blake: Yeah, I don't need you calling me "Darling" anymore.

Adam: What was that?

Blake: (walks out to the car connection and flips a switch on a spare bomb) Consider this a breakup. Not that it was much of a relationship to begin with.

Detonator beeps and Blake steps back into the train car just in time for the bomb to explode, sending the rear car careening off the tracks and down the embankment.

Huntress!Yang: Well, I never would have figured you to be the type to abandon a partner.

Blake: (smirks) Ex- partner. (turns towards Yang and pops her hip) I'm not a fan of being in a relationship with a manipulative abuser.

Yang: (crosses her arms and leans against the doorframe leading into the train car) Yeah, I think you brought that up a few times in this little game of tag of ours.

Blake: (saunters up to Yang and drags the tip of her nail under Yang's jaw) I appreciate you not saying "game of cat and mouse".

Yang: (watches Blake's hand diligently but gives a warm smile) I figured that would be inappropriate, even if it is true.

Blake: I hope you don't think you're the "cat" in this situation~ (trails her nail across Yang's lower lip)

Yang: Maybe at the beginning of this. (gently grab's Blake's hand and gives a teasing nip to the tip of her finger)

Blake: (breath catches in her throat, but she manages to hide her reaction)

Yang: But I know better by now. (releases Blake's hand and rolls the tension out of her shoulders) So! How are we going to do it this time? We fight a little bit before you find a way to distract me just long enough to escape? We fight and I actually capture you this time to bring you to "justice" for your crimes?

Blake: Or you could just let me go. (drags her nails over Yang's breasts, down her stomach, and stops just above her crotch)

Yang: (grunts softly) Sorry, Blake. I can't exactly do that.

Blake: Awww. You remembered my name.

Yang: Of course I did. It's a pretty name. A pretty name (reaches up and pulls the Grimm mask away) for a beautiful woman.

Blake: (blushes slightly but keeps smirking) Well, how about we enjoy the little time we have left before the train pulls into Vale Station? Then we can make a decision.

Yang: (rolls eyes with a smile) I feel like that's a bad idea.

Blake: (continues to rub the front of Yang's pants until there's a prominent bulge) We've made plenty of those already, Yang. What's one more?

[1moreff-creator]

DRDT - Milgram AU: T1 "Voice Reveal" Lines

Hey there! Back at it with this AU. I figured if I'm going to commit to the bit, I might as well commit fully. At the start of every Trial, Milgram gives a sneak peak at some of the lines which will appear in the VDs, combined with "glitchy" lines which relate to their murder. So I'm doing that too! Keep in mind this is not professional in the slightest, so exact wording might change between now and when I actually post the VDs. Especially since it's been a while since I rewatched DRDT so the wording could feel a bit off. Anyways, here we go!

Implied DRDT spoilers and heavy themes. Again not affiliated with either of the series

Btw I'm using crossed out text for aesthetics but there will be a transcript at the bottom if you have trouble reading that.

01- "Levi Fontana, a pleasure"

"Yes, I am a murderer"

"I can't bring myself to pretend to be sorry for what I did"

"I suppose I should watch the other prisoners to learn how normal murderers should handle themselves"

...

I know you didn't want this, but it had to be done

02- "Arturo Giles"

"Ugh. Do I really have to be judged by someone this ugly?"

"I'll have you know, I've never murdered anyone"

[Whispering] "I mean, there is... no, no, that wasn't my fault"

...

How was I meant to know?! Even if she's dead because of what I did, it's not my fault!

03- "My name is David Chiem"

"It seems there's been a mistake. But don't worry! I won't hold it against you"

"Mistakes can be corrected. It's not difficult to change, as long as you're willing to!"

"I try to be as positive as I can, since I know there's a lot of people that don't get the privilege"

...

AGH! CAN YOU DO ANYTHING RIGHT, YOU PIECE OF HUMAN GARBAGE?!

04- "Yo! Whit Young, nice to meet you!

"Are you really sure everyone here is a murderer?"

"That's wack"

"I don't remember doing anything suspicious! Yesterday was normal, the day before that was normal, the day before that... the day before that..."

...

My mom's really amazing! I love her a lot. I would do anything for her

05- "Tch. Ace Markey"

"You wanna fight?! Wait, fuck, you probably have weapons, don't you?! Shit, don't get any closer!"

"You think I'm a murderer?! Horseshit!"

"Get off your fucking high horse!"

...

Fuck, fuck, fuck, fuck, fuck, shit, shit shit shit, FUCK!

06- "Uhm... Nico... Hakobyan"

"I'm- I'm really sorry!"

"You're pretty weird"

"Ah! I'm sorry! Don't get mad at me!"

...

Why should I own up for the mistakes that someone else made?!

07- "J Moreno"

"What do you people really want? Ransom money? There's no way you're doing this just because you want to 'judge our sins' or whatever bullshit you're saying"

"Don't make me laugh. Find evidence I killed anyone, and then we can talk about murder"

"Do you really think you're going to understand everything I've been through, just with a silly little song? How arrogant are you?!"

...

What happened to her was nothing short of a tragedy. Sorry, but I will make no further comment

08- "Mmmm... Rose Lacroix"

"zzzzz"

"Ah, yeah. I killed someone"

"This really isn't that bad. At least I can paint here"

...

I wonder if I can be happy now

09- "H-Hu Jing"

"I know what I did was unforgivable..."

"I really am selfish... I'm scared of receiving the punishment I deserve"

"Please Forgive me!"

...

Wake up! Please! I'm sorry! I'm sorry!

10- "My name is Veronika Grebenshchikova!"

"If you don't mind, can you choose not to Forgive me?"

"Death sounds boring. I'd rather stay alive if you don't mind!"

"To Forgive what I did... it would be denying everything I believe about my life..."

...

[Cackling laughter, which trails off with a wheeze] I really am a monster...

11- "Arei Naegishi!"

"Pfft! God, you're pathetic!"

"Why the hell are we even here? How could anyone be stupid enough to do anything but Forgive me?"

"Are you really that much of an idiot?!"

...

WHO'S THE WEAK ONE NOW, HUH?!

12- "Uhm... Eden Tobisa..."

"Even when things are looking down, we just have to try our best, and trust each other!"

"I... I never wanted anyone to die!"

"Es... why are you doing this?"

...

Wh- What have you done?!

13- "Min Jeung"

"This is ludicrous. How are we meant to expect a fair judgement when your 'justice' is determind by one person's whims and biases?"

"When an institution is non-functional, it is highly illogical to indiscriminately tear it down. Improving the basis already in place is by far the most constructive way to conduct progress"

"There is no country in the world where I would be judged a murderer. To say one single prison has the authority to decide that I am is a flagrant display of vanity"

...

The condition has been met. There is no need for further intervention

14- "Alexander Matthews. Just call me Xander"

"Don't you see how broken this entire system is?! What makes you think you hold a monopoly over morality, huh?! What gives you the right to Forgive or Not Forgive?!"

"When something is rotten, you throw it away. It's the same with this twisted place!"

"...Warden?"

...

Ah... haha... I did it... You all can finally rest

15- "Charles Cuevas"

"I was hoping the Warden would be competent, at least, but clearly I was a fool to think that could ever be the case"

"Are you stupid?!"

"Warden... Es... I have a request"

...

Hgk...- Ack! ... Kch[sharp inhale]

16- "Teruko Tawaki"

"Are you okay?"

"You don't need to know anything about my crimes. I'm unforgivable. That's all you need, right?"

"If you can find a way to do it... Just kill me"

...

... [sigh] Why did I ever get my hopes up?

------------------------------------------------------------------------------

And there we go! Hope they weren't too ooc! Keep in mind different backstories could lead to slightly different personalities; this AU is canon-adjacent, not really canon-compliant. Levi's first trial is coming soon! Hope you enjoyed!

Huh? Secret message? Whatever are you talking about?

Here's the transcript of the glitchy lines:

01 - Levi: I know you didn't want this, but it had to be done

02 - Arturo: How was I meant to know?! Even if she's dead because of what I did, it's not my fault!

03 - David: AGH! CAN YOU DO ANYTHING RIGHT, YOU PIECE OF HUMAN GARBAGE?!

04 - Whit: My mom's really amazing! I love her a lot. I would do anything for her

05 - Ace: Fuck, fuck, fuck, fuck, fuck, shit, shit shit shit, FUCK!

06 - Nico: Why should I own up for the mistakes that someone else made?!

(Yes it's just the secret quote on their page sue me it's a cool line)

07 - J: What happened to her was nothing short of a tragedy. Sorry, but I will make no further comment

08 - Rose: I wonder if I can be happy now

09 - Hu: Wake up! Please! I'm sorry! I'm sorry!

10 - Veronika: [Cackling laughter, which trails off with a wheeze] I really am a monster...

11 - Arei: WHO'S THE WEAK ONE NOW, HUH?!

12 - Eden: Wh- What have you done?!

13 - Min: The condition has been met. There is no need for further intervention

14 - Xander: Ah... haha... I did it... You all can finally rest...

15 - Charles: Hgk... Ack! ... Kch[sharp inhale]

16 - Teruko: ... [sigh] Why did I ever get my hopes up?