#sorry i've been so distant!

[circusislife]

Circus mommmmmmmmaaaaaaaaa :D

MY ASTRAL CHILD I HAVE RETURNED!!!!

[the-ravening]

ten people i'd like to know better!

I was tagged in a thing! Thank you @ex0rin for tagging me in the thing.

last song: Sufjan Stevens - The Only Thing (also Disease by Lady Gaga running through my head on a loop)

favourite colour: blush pink

last book: In Defense of Food by Michael Pollan

last movie: Joker Folie à Deux, which I know everyone's been hating on, but I expected Gaga in a musical and I got that, so

last tv show: currently watching The Penguin and Agatha All Along, and also started Euphoria a few weeks ago because I got Crave in order to watch The Penguin

sweet/spicy/savory: sweet, but not too sweet

relationship status: been with my partner for a looong time. Like, uh *quick calculation* 40% of my life currently

last thing i googled: the word 'hyperbole' to make sure I was using it correctly, even though I've used and looked up and used and looked up that word a billion times before. This is the anxiety I have over words and not wanting to sound dumb by misusing them

current obsession(s): watching the fall leaves change colour, finding local cafe and pop-up market gems, christmas knitting, cooking/baking my way through Smitten Kitchen

looking forward to: going to a Rocky Horror shadowcast tonight in my last-minute thrown together Sofia Falcone costume

no pressure tags (as always): @unlikelymilliner, @thepiper0fhameln, @violenciorp, @goretier, @zsparz and anyone else who sees this, consider yourself tagged!

[iniziare]

Sometimes, I need to do important stuff like shower and cook, but all I can think about is Aventurine lately. It's a problem.

[lovinglin]

I realized it's probably surprising of me to post here again after so much silence

Hi. Yes I'm still here

[unikhroma]

hope everyone is doing good today

[scorpion-flower]

Also, while we're on the topic of my parents being human turds:

Last year, I worked at a school (hey, preschool teacher here!) and when that year was over (you have no idea how difficult it was, lol) I didn't want all those group projects that I had made with the kids to be thrown out, so I took them with me inside a huge plastic bag.

Now, there is no way of really showing this to you, but my room is a mess. And it is this way because I have too many stuff (such as clothes, books, funko pops) while the room is not that big. And to be honest, I don't want to throw anything away. So, as you can guess, that plastic bag didn't help.

So, my boyfriend suggested, that he could take that bag and keep it at his home, since they have extra room, and I said 'sure'. He didn't do it tho.

And here's where my stupid parents come into the story!

They already don't like him (lol, it's not because of anything that he has done, I believe that they would like him only if he was filthy rich and beat me up like they used to) so they use his suggestion and his failure to deliver, as a way to both diminish him and me, because I continue this relationship.

Mind you, these are the same people who have promised me a lot of stuff and always failed to deliver.

I still remember being 3 or 4, watching commercials about Disneyland in Paris on TV and them promising me that they would take me there when I'd finish elementary school. Guess what, I am 29, 17 years out of elementary school and still, I've never been there!

And I remember, being like 18 or 19, and them telling me that they'd search for a small appartment for me to rent, in order for me to start being more independent, and even said that they'd help me with the bills. Did that happen? Of course not! Back then, I also had a therapist who, when I told her what my parents said about renting me an appartment, replied with a "They won't do it, it's all a lie" And she was right!

They even repeated that promise when I was 26, I flat out told them that I don't believe them, and I was right!

It's not like I expect them to do big things for me. They cannot even have basic human decency. It's the lack of self awareness and the gashlighting that gets me everytime tho!

[phagodyke]

aouuugh my uterus......

[distant-screaming]

💛🩵 Have a nice day!

anon!! thank you so much <3 I hope your day is amazing!

[57sfinest]

PRECINCT 41 BULLPEN (C-Wing) -- The main workroom of C-wing is busy this time of day, full of officers milling about to get reports submitted so they can punch out and go home before they’re caught and assigned a last-minute evening field case. You spent years of your life, nearly two decades, here in this room in this building. And you had to be given a tour when you were taken back in. You have only been back for a few days, restricted to pencil-pushing until your general sanity can be vouched for and also until Kim’s transfer finalizes. Whichever takes longer.

SUGGESTION -- No one else would agree to partner with you, and in Jamrock no officer can go into the field alone. It’s a matter of policy, your questionable faculties notwithstanding. So you’d better get to liking the drone work-- you’ll be stuck at this desk until Kim gets here. Maybe longer.

ESPRIT DE CORPS (Easy: Success) -- On the other side of the silk mill, two people are dressing down in the locker room. Patrol officers Tillbrook and Mollins speak to each other over a wall of lockers for privacy. “Did you see? Tequila’s back. I thought he finally kicked it.” 

ESPRIT DE CORPS -- “Do I want to see?” Mollins peeks around a row of lockers to grin. “How bad is it? Do we need to evacuate?”

ESPRIT DE CORPS -- The shake of his head carries an air of confusion. “He was… quiet. The rumors were true-- I had to reintroduce myself.” At Mollins’ scoff of disbelief, he continues-- “I saw him in the hall and I said, ‘Hey, Tequila!’ and he gave me this funny look and went-- do you know what he said? He just said ‘Don’t call me that, please.’ and he kept on walking. He said *please*, Emelie.”

ESPRIT DE CORPS -- “So he really did lose his mind. I guess the jury’s out on whether he found it like you said he would.” Mollins shrugs. “I give it a week. Maybe two, if he and Vicquemare manage to avoid each other.”

ESPRIT DE CORPS -- “Before he finds it?”

ESPRIT DE CORPS -- Mollins smiles. It is not sincere. There is worry, maybe fear, etched into the lines around her mouth. “Before he loses it again.”

[karofsky]

Actually you know what, fuck it. I'm done posting miserable updates. I feel awful and they make me feel even worse. Things are so absolutely shit right now but it's almost Halloween and I'm still having dreams and talking to people and I have a fun Sunday planned with someone I care about and I'm two weeks away from seeing my best friend in person again and I'm thinking about fun ideas even if my brain is determined to forget them instantly and the cats are gonna be cute and I'm gonna eat food I enjoy and watch stuff I want. My body and brain are fucking destroyed but I'm over it, I have tried and nothing will be fixed immediately so I'm just!!! Tired of whining!!! I'm alive and that's enough right now. I'm stressed and I'm going to be stressed for a while but posting about it isn't helping me process anything

[missgallavjch]

i feel so love-starved it makes me feel so miserable

[joyridingmp3]

boss just sat me down and basically asked what's wrong with me again

[hollow-prey]

Me: no fear

My brain as I'm getting ready for bed: what if the Arcana app shuts down one day and you don't even know about it because you haven't been in the app in so long and by the time you know about it it's too late and you don't even get the chance to say goodbye to Julian or do one last playthrough of his route

Me: ONE FEAR

[theiloveyousong]

ok well tomorrow. we can talk. it issss 1:07 am right now which. yeah. um. oops? but at the same time yes i always feel like the rambler not the listener which should not be how we roll SO. tomorrow.

tomorrow we WILL talk. this is a threat.

[wishmkr-jirachi]

...

[lilchaoswitch]

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