#sorry i’m just sick of going to a rules page of a muse in this universe and seeing some wild assumptions

[morningflew]

this is the only time i’m gonna make a post about it because it’s in my rules anyway and i assume everyone who follows me reads them beforehand, but i truly do not care whether you choose to write the targaryens romantically or not. i understand if you don’t like that but the incest is normal for them and it is highly significant in grrm’s universe, and some people are gonna hate this, but it does seem a bit hypocritical to tune into a show like hotd where you can’t just ignore the fact and then be mad that writers/roleplayers continue or even acknowledge what’s canon in it. as if this isn’t all within the realm of fiction.

[purple-dahlias]

day six- hidden injury

wc: 1804 requested: no warnings: self harm, injury

Sarah hadn’t meant it to go this far, not in the least. At least, that was what she told herself. And really, she had managed so long without it, years in fact. Only for things to start crumbling now. And no, she’ll never let anyone know. Doesn’t want to bother anyone. It’s not that big of a deal, anyway, she’ll tell herself. Nothing she can’t handle herself. Nothing she hasn’t had to handle herself before. And all her problems, well, they just feel so pedestrian. That was what she had told Dr Richardson. Plenty of people felt that way, right. Lots of people did that. It wasn’t exactly uncommon. Maybe not talked of so much, but not something rare. In any case, she had got herself out of it before, and she would do it again, right?

At some point, she would, she told herself.

She tries to be careful. Wears long sleeves. Remembers to keep her white coat on at all times. Tries to avoid situations where she might have to scrub in. Which, luckily for her, since becoming a psychiatry resident, don’t occur very often anymore. And she’s meticulous with cleaning. Making sure everything is sterile. No chance of infection. Her bathroom cabinet well stocked with bandages and plasters and antiseptic wipes. Even a suture pack she had managed to lift from the ED one day. Just in case. She hadn’t needed it so far, though. And she wasn’t planning on it. That was what she told herself.

And oh, how wrong she was.

It’s a Tuesday morning and Sarah is late.

She’s supposed to be at Med by now, Dr Charles will be expecting her to round on their patients and instead, she’s sat on the bathroom floor, leaning against the bath panel, the cursed suture kit on the floor beside her, face contorted in pain.

Maybe things had gone too far.

Perhaps she should have thought to try and bring back some lidocaine as well.

But no. You did this to yourself, Sarah Reese.

And it’s ironic. Because she had inflicted that pain on herself. And now she couldn’t do it again to fix it. Typical.

—

“Hey, have any of you seen Sarah?” Dr Charles asks, approaching the nurses’ station in the ED, where Natalie, and Noah are stood.

Natalie shakes her head, just as Maggie calls out for her, sending her off to treatment three.

“I didn’t see her car parked outside,” Noah responds.

“Yeah, me either.”

“She hasn’t called in sick, has she?”

“No,” confirms Dr Charles, brow furrowed. The Sarah Reese he knew was always so responsible, a stickler for rules, so it was unlike her not to notify someone of her absence.  

“Yeah, I didn’t think so, we’d arranged to have lunch together today, so…”

“And Sarah’s not really one to break her plans,” the head of psychiatry muses.

“I can try and call her,” Noah offers helpfully.

“Yeah, that’d be great,” Dr Charles nods as Noah fishes his phone out of his pocket, only to find the dial tone to ring out with no answer.

“You sure she’s not upstairs?”

“No, I’m sure she’s not. I did page her, but no luck.”

“Well, um, if you like I can go round to hers… check on her?” Noah offers, picking up on the worry in the normally level, calm voice of the psychiatrist.

“That’s good of you,” Dr Charles smiles, clapping Noah on the back

“No problem,” Noah returns, with a promise to update him when he found Sarah, watching as Dr Charles turns, making his way to the elevators and away from the emergency department.

One thing was for sure, Dr Charles was grateful Sarah had Noah for a friend. Even if Sarah wasn’t the most vocal person, he knew she’d been dealing with a lot lately, that much was clear. And he knew how important it was to have people around you who cared.

It’s not long after that conversation that Noah finds himself faced with the front door of Sarah’s apartment, having knocked, awaiting an answer.

When there’s no answer, he knocks louder. “Sarah,” he calls out. “It’s Noah. Dr Charles wanted me to come and check up on you because you didn’t show up for rounds.”

Still nothing.

Knowing she kept a spare key under the mat, Noah fishes it out, turning it in the lock.

“Sarah, I’m coming in, alright,” he warns, entering the apartment.

The curtains are still drawn across the windows, Sarah’s bag is in its place by the door, her coat hangs on a peg in the hall. Sure signs she is still here. He calls out to her, moving through the few rooms until he comes to the bathroom, the door half open, a head of brown curls just about visible.  

“Sarah what—"

The words die on his lips as he takes in the scene: Sarah hunched up against the side of the bath, knees pulled up to her chest. He sees the suture kit, the gash on Sarah’s arm, how pale she is. And, most of all, how frightened she looks at seeing him there, how she just about refuses to meet his eyes.

“Sarah,” Noah begins again, trying to compose himself.

“Noah what are you doing here?” It’s said so forcefully through gritted teeth that if it was any other time, any other situation, any other person, Noah would have taken it as his cue to leave. But he couldn’t leave her. Not like this. Not after what he’s seen.

“Dr Charles sent me to check on you,” he tries.

“Well I’m fine,” she grits out, firmly, covering her arm as best she could.

“No, you’re not.”

“Please, Noah, just go. You’re supposed to be working,” her tone is different now, she’s almost begging him to go. He’s not going to, though.

“So are you,” he counters, inching closer. “Sarah what happened?” Noah tries, tone softening.

“It’s nothing, really.”

“That doesn’t look like nothing,” Noah reaches for Sarah’s arm, and Sarah snatches it away, fighting through the pain.

“I don’t want to talk about it,” she huffs. She wishes he would just go back to the hospital and leave her be.

“Fine. But Sarah, I have to ask. Did you do this yourself?”

Yes she thinks. Yes I did.

“I think you already know the answer to that one,” is what she says instead. “Otherwise, you wouldn’t have to ask.” It comes out harshly. But really, the anger isn’t directed at him. It’s all directed inward. At herself, for allowing this to happen, at herself for getting caught.

“But Sarah— why.”

And it all comes out. She finds she just can’t keep it hidden any longer.

“I— I don’t know. I just. I can’t anymore. And I haven’t done this since I was fourteen, and now… Noah I don’t know what to do!” Sarah is sobbing freely now, her shoulders shaking as Noah sits down beside her on the cold tile of the bathroom floor, holding her close, careful of her arm. He notices the scars and the cuts littering her arms, in various stages of healing. It pains him to see this, to know this. That Sarah had been struggling for so long without anyone noticing.

“Oh Sarah—” Noah begins, smoothing her hair with one hand, the other rubbing circles into the small of her back.

“Stop. Stop feeling sorry for me.” Sarah scrubs at her eyes, willing the tears away.

“I’m not. I just. I hate that I’m here seeing you hurt, and you know I— I can’t take that away from you.”

“Then go. You won’t have to see then.”

“I’m not leaving you like this Sarah. Do you mind if I take a look?” He asks her. Carefully, levelly, eyes trained on her all the while.

“Fine.” Sarah agrees finally, and Noah has to fight back a gasp as he sees the full extent of the injury. Luckily, as far has he can tell, the wounds aren’t deep enough to have caused any significant damage, but really, as an assessment, he knows the damage is already done. Not physically, but it is there.

“Okay Sarah, we need to clean this up and get it stitched, alright.” Noah keeps his tone calm, knowing that showing any sign of panic would do neither of them any good.

Sarah merely nods.

“This is going to sting, okay,” he warns, taking an antiseptic wipe out of the first aid kit beside them.

“Unfortunately you’re going to feel every step of this because I don’t have anything to numb you with. Think you can be brave for me?”

Another nod, but it’s all Noah needs before he gets to work.

Sarah doesn’t watch as he begins. She keeps her eyes down, trained on the floor, counting the tiles, teeth gritted as she tries to fill her head with something. Anything. Any thoughts that aren’t about what is happening right now.

When he’s finally done, the two sit in silence, both leaning against the bath, side by side. And it’s then that Sarah finally looks. Noah had bandaged up her arm, the stitches hidden beneath the dressings. The memory of what she had done there. But hidden. Out of sight, but not out of mind.

“So, uh,” Noah’s voice tears into her thoughts. “You wanna maybe sit somewhere a little more comfortable and less cold?”

And it’s just so Noah of him to say, his tone making it sound like he’s asking her to move and sit at one of the tables inside the hospital cafeteria instead of outside, rather than what he’s actually doing, which is asking her to get up off the bathroom floor after he’d stitched up the cuts she had made.  

So Sarah makes the choice. She allows herself to be helped up, she allows herself to be led from the bathroom. She lets Noah guide her to the couch, wrap a blanket round her shoulders and disappear off into the kitchen, only to watch him come back a few minutes later, a steaming mug of tea in hand that he sets down beside her.

Still wordlessly, Noah takes a seat next to Sarah, wrapping his arms around her and holding her close to him. He had sent a message to Dr Charles while he had been in the kitchen, letting him know what had happened. He knew that Sarah would need to address what had happened, that there would be a long road ahead of her. That him finding her that morning wasn’t the end of it, didn’t mean that Sarah was out of the woods. But Noah would be there. He would be there with Sarah, for her. He would be there until she was ready, and long afterward. And this was the start. Sarah herself knows that, too.

[dboliklover]

Can you make a scenario where Subaru and his lovers would raising a cute little daughter, please?

Hi! Sorry, this took me ages to write! It’s part one of a drabble series I hope to have on this blog. 

I hope you’ll like it <3 

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______________________________________________________________ Daddy! Subaru x Mama! Reader Part One: (4 pages)

You gave Subaru something he never believed he would be fortunate enough - or deserving enough - to attain. You had given him that, which he was convinced he was unworthy of.

A family. 

You had given Subaru Sakamaki a chance. A chance to have what he never did in his childhood - a loving, proper family. 

And he loved you. He loved you so much more than you would ever know - he loved you more than he could ever be able to effectively convey.

It was hard to believe, now, that your daughter’s third birthday was fast approaching. If you’d told him eight years ago that he would even get the chance to fall in love - he would have bitterly scoffed and demanded you leave him alone - or else.

He still had no idea how he got so incredibly lucky, but he was glad for it. So, so very glad. 

With ruby eyes, Subaru observed as you ran about the Rose Garden with your beloved daughter. You had named her Haruka Christa Sakamaki. It had been your suggestion to name her after his mother - a choice he’d been reluctant with, but eventually agreed on - his mother had been far from a saint. in fact, she scarred him psychologically for life, but at the same time he could never bring himself to hate the woman who had given him life; even if she then abused and neglected that life. 

She was his mother and he loved her, and he always would - despite it all. 

And, if anything - it only served to further the fire of hatred in his heart for his father. He often wondered what life could have been like, had Karlheinz died when he was young. It was without a doubt that if Karlheinz had died when the brothers were still young, they would likely had had significantly better relationships with each other. 

Life would have been so much better if only his father had been out of the picture completely. 

“Subaru?”

Your tender loving voice snapped the albino out of his troubled thoughts. His gaze fell upon you and just like every single day of your lives, merely looking at you took his breath away.  “Are you okay?” 

He turned to look at you with smiling eyes. “Yes,” He responded, “I’m just...thinking.” 

You were about to ask what was troubling him, but Haruka’s voice interrupted you “Daddy!! Mama!!”

You smiled, “Here’s my baby!” You exclaimed, crouching down with open arms, the wind blowing through your hair ever-so-gently as your two-and-a-half-year-old daughter ran into your arms. You wrapped your arms around her and picked her up, bouncing her softly up and down. 

To Subaru, the entire scene was out of a dream. Something that had always felt so foreign and distant - and now, it was here and it was his. 

You were his moon - the one who had helped him through the darkest of nights, who was always there when he needed you - even if he couldn’t see you - and who lit his way when all felt hopeless and lost to ensure he could stay on the right path.

And Haruka was the stars in his vanilla sky. She was his beautiful, bouncing baby and he adored her - and you - both of you were his sky - his world. At this point he could never fathom an existence devoid of either you or your daughter, even imagining such a thing was far too raw and painful for him. 

Recurring nightmares haunted his mind for weeks on end on a regular basis - terrible dreams where you were both taken from him - slaughtered mercilessly in front of his very eyes. It killed him a little more each time to witness, if only in dream form. 

But right now - his Moon and his Star - were here, beside him, safe from any harm. As it should be. 

“Daddy!!” Haruka exclaimed, and he now realised that she was holding a crown made of flowers in her tiny hands, wriggling in her mother’s embrace to get closer to him. It was also at this point Subaru acknowledged the bountiful crown of petals and leaves perched upon your own head, as well as his beloved daughter’s. 

If Subaru from the past - brash, abrasive and cold - could see the man he’s become...well, he wasn’t sure whether he’d be pissed, impressed, embarrassed or grateful.

Shows him how much he’s changed to himself, huh?

His heart fluttered as an involuntary laugh escaped him and allowed his daughter to place the crown of flowers on top of his head. His body language was awkward and stiff, which caused you to let out a loud giggle. 

Haruka clapped her petite hands as soon as Subaru lifted his head, the flower crown making him look terribly pleasant. 

He was still not quite...used to things like this. It felt strange - in the best of ways, of course, and though he feared he would never fully get into the flow, he wouldn’t change this for the world.

“You look very beautiful, King Subaru.” You teased with challenging, amused eyes, knowing fully well that your remark would cause him embarrassment. 

Subaru glared at you for a moment, then sighed, loosening the muscles in his face, the blush contrasting with his pale complexion. 

Eight years he’s known you - and somehow even after all this time, you managed to make him flustered. 

He still had troubles with himself - often - times he’d breakdown in front of you, screaming for you to get away from him, to leave him - it was only natural after all he’d been through and being raised to believe himself a monstrous being. 

But you stayed by his side and he knew, even in times of sorrow-clouded doubt, that you would remain right there, beside him, until the end of time - because you had proven yourself and your love for his time and time again and after all that you had been through together he knew that your love was an unconditional one. Haruka was the very embodiment of that pure, unconditional love. 

“Daddy looks pretty!!” She squealed out in joy,  beaming with laughter, and you laughed, too, and Subaru smiled - a true, real smile; one he thought impossible until he met you. You changed his entire universe and now you created an emblem of hope for him from the seeds of your womb.

You thought for a moment, and then gently handed your child to him. Even now, Subaru still feared to hold her just as he had fretted over it when she was a newborn. It was endearing, but these days you were beginning to get sick of it. “You won’t drop her,” You whispered into his ear as you transferred the bouncing baby girl into his arms, smiling reassuringly. You had to bite back your laughter when he held her as if she were made of glass - he always held her like she was the world’s most fragile little thing. And you mused to yourself that, in his eyes, she probably was. 

The way he looked down at her as he held her, cooing and whispering sweet promises to her about how he would protect her from harm and always keep her safe warmed your heart and was almost enough to make you cry. 

You loved your husband so, so much. ______________________________________________________________

Subaru begrudgingly wore the flower crown for the rest of that night, alongside you and Haruka, who insisted on it. You’d helped her to create them, teaching her methods of folding the flowers over each other and securing them into harmonic knots. Due to her young age and unskilled hands, you’d been the one to do most of the work when creating them and she observed you, but you told her that she’d been a huge help because you knew that she loved helping others. A surely wonderful trait for a toddler to have - you could only pray to the powers that be that you would be good parents to her. 

So far, so good, though. 

When it was time to tuck Haruka into bed, Subaru offered to do it. You smiled and agreed as you brushed your hair in front of the vanity table in your shared bedroom and waited no longer than a minute before placing the brush down and hurrying out to the corridor to silently watch from the shadows. 

You leaned your figure against the door frame of Haruka’s bedroom, smiling with teary eyes as you witnessed Subaru singing to her a lullaby that you assumed Christa had sung to him when he was a baby - before it all came crashing down. You’d only heard him hum and sing on a few scarce occasions, so this was a big deal since he always felt humiliated and embarrassed by doing something so...flamboyant as singing. 

The gentle expression on his face made a tear drip from your eye down our cheek, because he was so beautiful - they both were - and this was your life and it was perfect. There were difficulties and eternal danger looming over you - but you couldn’t care about that at the moment, not when you had the most astonishing family in the world here with you.

It was a futile attempt to blink back your tears, for they fell like silent waterfalls the moment you saw Haruka’s little eyelids fluttering shut and saw Subaru kiss her little forehead goodnight. He leaned back and stood from the corner of her bed, tucking her in, his entire attention upon her. 

He then touched the flower crown with the tips of his fingers, taking it off just to stare at it for several moments. 

And then he kissed the petals, too, and proudly placed it back upon his head. When he returned to your bedroom, you had a feeling he would take it off and place it on his bedside table or your vanity whilst acting as though you had forced him to wear it unwillingly (in a joking manner, of course) but you knew, like you always did, that he loved every second of today. 

Sneaking off before he could hear or sense you, you returned to your room, smiling contently as you sat in your chair, staring at your reflection with pure, unadulterated happiness.

- Mod Rozalia 

[batterycityghoul]

I’ve Got a Broken Mask (Ben Hargreeves/Reader)

Requested by @gurlimtired​ who asked: “Hello there! Would you write a Ben x reader, where Ben and Klaus realized earlier in the 60s, that Ben can possess him and Ben spend a day in his skin. And while he's enjoying himself and the fact that he has a body he meets reader in kind of an awkward way (like he's palms a random thing, or just run around barefoot in the town) and after that they spend the day together?”

Word Count: 3.9k

Author’s Note: I’m so sorry this took me so long! I’ve been so nervous about this, but I really hope you like this. Sorry this turned out kind of angsty. 💖 Title comes from Here Comes the End by Gerard Way. 

 "Alright, Benny boy, we've got a few rules to go over before I give you free reign of this," Klaus emphasized as he gestured up and down his body.  

"Really, Klaus? What do you think I'm going to do?"

"Well, if you were me, and you will be," Klaus started as he tucked his hair behind his ear, "then you're going to want to get up to all kinds of trouble."

"Klaus, I'm not you. That's the whole point of this, remember?" Ben couldn't help but point out, already lowkey regretting his acceptance of Klaus’ gift.  

Upon getting thrown into the 60s, Klaus and Ben had to learn how to totally rely on each other for company. Klaus' cult came gradually to him, but Ben was the only one who actually knew him. On the other hand, Klaus was the only person Ben could actually communicate with on a regular basis.  

Ben loved Klaus. Of course he did. He wouldn't have stuck around after his death if he didn't want to spend time with his brother. He just didn't realize he was signing up for going on seventeen years of an endless cycle with Klaus.  

He would try to get Klaus to listen to him and Klaus chose to do what Klaus wanted to do.

Even though he was usually annoyed by his antics, Ben still agreed to help Klaus gain favor with his benefactors, because at the end of the day, he couldn't stand to see Klaus hurt. Did he think Klaus' ego was getting a little out of control now that he had a horde of mindless followers? Possibly. But he didn't want to see Klaus homeless or starving. So, he did what he had to do in order to help Klaus adjust to life after getting unceremoniously dumped in the early 1960s.  

It didn't mean that there weren't fights between them. Sometimes, Ben got so frustrated with Klaus that he just wanted to scream.  

It was during a fight in 1961 when they realized Ben could possess Klaus. He would never forget the cold shock of phasing through Klaus' body followed by the delight of discovery.  

Klaus wasn't pleased by the prospect, but he started coming around once Ben explained about his experience as a ghost. He told him about not having any freedom. He couldn't eat or drink or sleep. He could read, but he couldn't smell the books or feel their pages beneath his fingers. He missed talking to someone who wasn't Klaus. He had to do what Klaus wanted, because he had nowhere else to go. He couldn't go to the park when he wanted to just sit outside and read and he couldn't see the ocean or savor the smell of it.  

He just wanted to live, even if it was through Klaus.  

They kept working on it until Klaus began to grow a tolerance for having Ben inhabit his body. At first, they could only go for a few minutes before Klaus had to tap out. As time wore on, Klaus started to be able to handle it for hours without getting sick.  

Ben knew that it was a lot to ask from Klaus. And even though they still fought, he appreciated that Klaus would let him experience all of the little trivial things he didn't realize he would miss once he was dead.  

The only stipulation was that Ben always stayed around the cult. They were usually in some new and interesting place, so it wasn't much of a hardship, but he was starting to mourn other things he couldn't do around them.  

That was why when October approached and Klaus said he had a birthday present for him, Ben was more than a little skeptical.  

"You've never given me a birthday present. Ever," Ben helpfully pointed out.  

"Well, there's a first time for everything, Benarino. And besides, I'm sure this will make up for the past thirty something years," Klaus claimed with a smirk.  

It turned out that Klaus' present was a day in his body.  

"Now, you can go wherever you want. Do whatever you want. Just no hanky panky. Well..." Klaus mused with a thoughtful expression.

"Klaus," Ben groaned, barely resisting the urge to roll his eyes. "Can you be serious for once?"

"Hey, I'm the one handing out the day passes here, buddy," Klaus reminded him as he pointed a finger in his face. "I'm letting you enter this private sexy temple of mine," Klaus continued as he ran a hand down his own chest, "and I didn't even make you buy me a drink first. The least you could do is be grateful."

Ben grimaced in disgust before he shook his head. "Why do you have to phrase it that way?"

Klaus shot him a grin before he turned and opened the door to his bedroom. "First rule of Fight Club," Klaus started, a smirk forming on his face at Ben's groan of protest.  

"Klaus, come on," Ben pleaded. "You've only given me a day and you're wasting it being you."  

Klaus rolled his eyes before he sighed. "You're taking the fun out of this. You know I'm going to wake up later with a killer hangover and this is how you thank me?"  

"Klaus," Ben started, doing his best to keep his calm. "I appreciate this gift."

Klaus offered him a pleased grin. "Was that so hard? Alright, go have fun in the city. Go smell some flowers or feed some ducks or whatever it is you're wanting to do." He threw his arms wide, wincing as he turned his face away. "Just be gentle."

"Thank you, Klaus," Ben told him with a sincere smile. He took a deep breath, even though he didn't need it, and stepped into Klaus' body.  

                                                       ***

You were sitting in your office working on inventory when there was a knock on the door. There was only one person who was allowed to bother you while you were doing paperwork. You groaned and looked up to see your office door slowly inching open. "What is it, Shane?"

"Uh, I know I'm not supposed to interrupt you, but there's a weirdo in the store, and I know you like to deal with those personally."

Knowing Shane, 'weirdo' could be used to describe over half the people who visited your bookstore. You still decided to give him the benefit of the doubt. "Be right there," you assured him.  

You heard Shane let out a sigh of relief before he closed your office door. You couldn't help the rueful grin on your face as you made sure that you were at a good stopping point. If you were lucky, then you would get out into the store just to see that Shane had been spooked by a little kid on a sugar high. It wouldn't be the first time.  

When you finally made it out to the front counter, Shane helpfully pointed towards a man sitting in the reading nook. You weren't really sure why Shane would have found the man weird until you took a closer look.  

"Seriously? Because he's barefoot?" You hissed at Shane, quirking an eyebrow at him in question. "That's not weird."

"Just wait," Shane muttered, warily watching the man.  

You sighed, but dutifully went back to observing the man sitting in one of the armchairs on the other side of the store. He was slowly flipping through the pages of a book and running his fingers lovingly over every page. It wasn't long before he brought the book up to his face and pressed his nose right into the crease. You saw him take a deep breath, as if savoring the smell, before a delighted grin broke out over his face.  

"See," Shane pointed out as he moved to swat at your arm. "Weird," he stressed with a waggle of his eyebrows.  

"He's not weird," you denied with a shake of your head. "Just give me a minute to talk to him."

You ignored Shane's warning to not get too close as you moved across the store towards the stranger. The guy was so deeply absorbed in the book in front of him that you couldn't help the tiny, fond smile that tugged at the corners of your lips.  

"Excuse me, sir?" You called as you approached the man, not wanting to startle him. "I'm afraid we have a policy about wearing shoes."

The guy's eyes snapped up to look at you. He looked confused for a moment before he looked down to where his toes were curling into the carpet beneath his feet.  

"Oh," he breathed in awe before he looked up at you again. "I didn't even notice," he confessed with a hushed tone. "It's just been so long since I've been in a bookstore and I guess I got carried away."

You noticed the way he had the book in his hands clutched almost reverently to his chest. You also caught the dog tags hanging around his neck. You thought you suddenly understood why he was so desperate for something that obviously comforted him.  

You waved Shane off when it looked like he was half a second from calling for help and moved to sit in the empty armchair near the stranger. "Just got home?" You couldn't help but wonder. He didn't look like any soldier you knew, especially with the long hair, but it was the only thing that really made sense to you.  

"Something like that," the guy muttered as he finally let the book fall into his lap. "I've only got one day."

You couldn't help the incredulous laugh that broke free when you glanced from him to the books surrounding you. "So, you chose to waste the day in my store?"

"Your store? Oh shit, I'm sorry," he said with a wince, hastily moving to stand.  

"No, just wait," you stalled him with a hand on his arm.  

He looked so thrown off by your fingers wrapped loosely around his forearm that you were quick to let go.  

"I just meant that if you only have one day back home, then why aren't you spending it doing something else? Something more exciting?"

"It's been so long since I've been able to really hold a book that it was all I could think about," he offered with a shrug of his shoulders. You watched a tiny, helpless grin steal across his face as he ran his fingers along the cover of the book in his lap. "Being here felt like coming home," he confided as he glanced at you.  

You considered him for a few moments, feeling almost helplessly drawn in by him. "I'm Y/N," you finally offered, holding out your hand for him to shake.  

"Ben," the guy answered as he let his hand grasp yours. You noticed the way his fingertips brushed against your palm as he let go, as if he wanted to keep contact as long as possible.  

"Well, Ben," you started as you leaned forward in your seat, offering him a sincere smile. "Why don't you let me take you to lunch? It's the least I can do," you told him as you gestured towards his dog tags.  

Ben frowned down at the tags, as if just realizing he was wearing them. "Oh, I'm not--" he started, reaching up to hesitantly touch them, but stopping before his fingers wrapped around the chain. "I mean, not really," he continued, looking lost for a moment. He sighed and met your gaze, his brows furrowed in frustration for a moment, before his expression smoothed out. "You know what? That sounds nice."

"Let me just go make sure Shane over there can hold down the fort and I'll be back," you assured him as you moved to stand.  

When you left Ben, you noticed he resumed studying the book in his hands. There was a small, pleased smile on his face and you couldn't help but hope that it was partly because of you.  

"Are you crazy?" Shane asked once you told him what you were doing. "He could be a psycho! He could murder you the second he gets you alone."

"He's not getting me alone," you told him, barely managing to not roll your eyes. "Just promise me you'll lock up, okay?"

Shane squinted at you, visibly warring between concern and irritation, before he sighed. "Got it," he finally conceded. "Go on your date."

"It's not a date," you corrected him before you moved back towards your office to grab your bag. You felt a momentary flare of guilt for abandoning your paperwork, but you knew you would be back for it later. Besides, it wasn't every day you offered to buy a random guy a meal.  

When you got back out into the store, it was to see Ben standing near the front door, nervously shifting on his feet. He looked like he wasn't sure if he was still welcome, so you made sure to greet him with a warm grin.  

"Ready to go?" You asked as you moved to stand near his side.  

"Yeah," he quickly agreed. "Shall we?"  

"Just give me one moment," you told him as you moved to dig through your bag, searching for your wallet. "You'll probably need some shoes if we're going to eat somewhere," you reminded him before you flashed him a reassuring grin. "There's a place just a few stores down that should have what you're looking for. Want to head down there and I'll meet you there in a minute?"

"Right. Shoes," Ben agreed with a shake of his head and a grimace. "You couldn't have been wearing shoes, Klaus?" You heard him mutter to himself.  

"It's no big deal," you promised him, wondering who Klaus was. "It's just a few doors that way," you informed him as you pointed to your left.  

"Right," Ben echoed as he moved to open the door to the store. You noticed him glance around the bookstore as he left, letting out a wistful sigh, before he let the door shut behind him.  

It didn't take you long to grab what you wanted and meet Ben at the apparel store. He picked out a pair of sandals he seemed to only tolerate wearing as you led him towards one of your favorite lunch spots.  

By the time you were sitting across from him, you resolved to find out as much about Ben as you could. There was a gentleness to his demeanor that you found inviting. His smile was so sweet as he thanked you for the food that you couldn’t help but want to keep making him smile.  

He told you a few random tidbits about his life. He mostly talked about his family and how he had been separated from them. He mentioned being homesick and missing his mother's cooking. He said he missed hanging out with his siblings and simply going to the movies. He missed the smell and taste of fresh fruit and he longed to see something beautiful.  

It sounded like he just really missed life.  

Even though you had only offered lunch, you still couldn't bring yourself to leave him just yet. You didn't want to impose on his one day back home, but when you suggested trying to catch a movie together, he seemed to light up at the prospect.  

You weren't really surprised when you ended up watching Ben more than you did the movie. You adored his odd little giggle at some scenes and the way his eyes went wide with wonder at others. He seemed to feel an honest sense of enjoyment out of simply being there at the movies with you that you couldn't help but begin to wish that you had more than a day to get to know him. It felt like there was so much about Ben that you had yet to unlock, but a sinking feeling in your gut told you it would never happen.  

When the movie was over, Ben seemed as reluctant to leave you as you were to leave him. There was a part of you that just wanted to reach out and hold on until he promised to stay. But you knew that wasn't fair. You knew he was just as aware of his timer running out as you were and you didn't want to add to the melancholic feeling that was beginning to creep into your interactions.  

You remembered Ben mentioning wanting to see something beautiful, so you suggested a picnic at the beach for dinner. You were worried it was a bit too romantic for two people who had only met earlier that day, but Ben seemed pleased with the idea.  

By the time you were both sitting on a blanket, each of you enjoying the sandwiches and grapes you managed to score at a small grocery store just near the beach, you were starting to dread the end of the day.  

You were content to watch Ben with his head tipped back, his hair ruffled by the wind rolling over the both of you, as he drew in a deep breath. There was a satisfied grin on his face at the smell of the salt that permeated the air.  

"Are you sure you don't have another day?" You couldn't help but ask. It seemed so unfair to you that someone who seemed so genuinely fascinated by life's little wonders wouldn't be able to enjoy them for much longer.  

"I guess I'm a bit like Cinderella," Ben admitted with a wry smirk as he cracked open an eye to squint at you. "Once today is up, all the magic disappears, and I have to be happy with what I've got."

"Well, I hope this will help," you told him as you reached for your bag. You pulled out the book he had been practically fondling in your store earlier that day and handed it over to him. "For you," you assured him when he hesitated to take it from you. "Frankenstein, huh? Wouldn't have taken you for a horror guy."

There was a sad twist to his lips as he reached out to let his fingers drift over the cover of the novel. "It seemed appropriate," he murmured as he finally let himself grab the book. "What did you think I'd be interested in?" There was a curious tilt to his head as he looked at you, his fingers still running over the book as if memorizing how it felt in his hands.  

"I don't know," you mused with a shake of your head. "Maybe you're one of those guys who's secretly into romance. Maybe you like a little fantasy. Maybe something a bit philosophical," you pondered as you moved to nudge his arm with yours.  

You almost didn't catch the movement as Ben reached out to grip your hand. He tangled your fingers together, a smug grin on his face as he let your joined hands rest on the blanket between you. "Maybe you're right," he said, an almost awed look on his face that told you he couldn't believe he was being so bold.  

You felt yourself flush at the feeling of his hand in yours. It was something you didn't know you needed until that very moment, but you couldn't even fathom having to give it up now. You squeezed his hand as you leaned over to place a kiss on his cheek.  

You caught a glimpse of the enthralled expression on his face and couldn't help but fall for him all the more.  

You spent the rest of your time on the beach just watching the waves crash onto the shore. Ben never let go of you, but you noticed him playing with the sand at his side with his free hand, seeming to marvel at the feeling of it as he let it fall through his fingers over and over.  

As the sun began to set, Ben finally turned to look at you. "I wish I could stay," he admitted with a dismayed frown.  

"I wish you could too," you confessed on a whisper. You felt like your day with Ben was a gift, but you weren't sure if it was for him or you.  

While Ben walked you back to your store, you kept trying to come up with ideas to ensure he could stay. You wanted to see him again. You wanted to talk about books or movies or spend a night together under the stars. You wanted to know everything about him, but you knew that it was selfish to ask.  

If he said he had to leave, then you knew he had to leave.  

You weren’t sure what to do or say as you both came to a stop in front of your store.  

"Here," Ben said as he pulled something out of his pocket. It was a crushed daisy that was beginning to wilt and fall apart. "I picked it up earlier today because I missed them," he told you with a shrug. "But I want you to have it." He held it out to you, wincing when the stem began to splinter.  

"I love it," you assured him as you reached out to take the flower from him.  

You noticed Ben bite his lip, as if gearing himself up to say something, before he finally reached out to take your free hand in both of his. "Y/N, I want to thank you. I wasn't really sure what I wanted out of today, but you made it perfect for me. I'm not going to forget that."

You weren't sure why you felt choked up as you studied him for what you hated to think would be the last time. "I had a good time with you, Ben. Maybe we'll get to do this again someday?"

There was a saddened look on his face as he shrugged his shoulders. "Maybe," he agreed with a nod of his head.  

You knew both of you were aware that this was really going to be goodbye. There was something so final about this moment that you couldn't help but feel like you were losing someone you had known forever even if it was just for a day.  

Ben abruptly let out a soft, pained groan as he clenched his eyes shut. He brought his hands up and held onto his head for a moment.  

"Ben? What's wrong?" You worried as you reached out to put a hand on his shoulder.  

"Nothing. It's nothing," he dismissed with a miserable little twist to his mouth as he opened his eyes to regard you. "I just need to be going."

"Oh," you sighed. "Right. Your carriage is about to turn into a pumpkin, huh?"  

Ben let out a surprised laugh, his eyes twinkling with a mirth you were going to miss. "Yeah. Something like that," he agreed. He leaned forward and brushed his lips against your cheek. You felt your breath hitch at the feeling of him in your space, the experience bittersweet with the knowledge that it would never happen again. "Thank you for the greatest day of my life, Y/N."

You let out a choked laugh, wishing you could reach out to him when he started to back away from you. "Any time," you told him as you forced yourself to stay rooted to your spot right in front of your store. "Bye, Ben."

"Goodbye, Y/N," he whispered, his hand coming up and his fingers dipping in a wave. You saw him study you for a moment before he seemed to make himself turn and walk away from you.  

All you could do was watch him leave you with the foolish hope that you would see him again one day.

[imagine-loki]

Ragnarok

TITLE: Ragnarok CHAPTER NO./ONE SHOT: Chapter 2: The Good Doctor AUTHOR: traveling-classicist ORIGINAL IMAGINE: Imagine you take care Odin when he was homeless on Midgard (based on the deleted scene from Ragnarok). You take him in and listen his crazy stories about Asgard and Thor thinking he’s just some crazy hobo who needs help. Then one day, Thor and Loki break into your apartment looking for their father. Hela returns in your living room and insanity ensues. RATING: T

AO3 Link: Here NOTES/WARNINGS: Mentions of homelessness, drug abuse, alcoholism, and parental disownment.

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The next morning, Theo was woken harshly by a pounding on her bedroom door.

“Theo! Theo! Get up! The frost giants are attacking Midgard again! I must call upon the armies of Asgard to help!”

Theo groaned as she sat up. She rubbed her face as Odin continued to pound on the door. “Theo, you must get up now!” At least he wasn’t violating rule number six.

“Alright, alright. I’m coming,” she said yawning. She opened the door and Odin grabbed her arms and whisked her down the hallway. “Odin, stop! You’re hurting me!”

He loosened his grip as they reached the kitchen. He pointed out the window to the snow that had piled up outside.

“Look, there, they must have attacked in the night. Thor must be in trouble if they were able to take back the Casket of Ancient Winters. I must return to Asgard to help. Heimdall! Open the Bifrost!” he shouted.

“No, no. It’s too early for shouting,” Theo said, sleepily, putting her hand on Odin’s shoulder. “Odin, there are no frost giants attacking. It’s just the snow from the storm last night, remember?”

“The storm?” he said. He looked down, trying to remember.

“Mmm-hmm. Looks like it was one hell of a storm too. There’s probably two feet of snow down there.”

“Hela?” he muttered. He put his hands on his head and rocked back and forth a moment.

“Are you alright, Odin?” Theo asked, seeing his distress.

“I need to remember but I can’t,” he said, pounding his head with his fists.

“Oh, don’t do that. It’s alright. Here, just sit down a moment. I’ll make you some breakfast. How do bagels sound?”

“Breakfast?” he asked.

“Yeah! I’m going to make a bagel. I’ve got plain, blueberry, sesame seed, marble. What would you like?”

He was breathing hard and seemed confused. “I don’t know,” he said.

“I know, I just gave you a lot of choices there. You can never go wrong with a plain bagel and some cream cheese, though,” she said as she popped two bagels into the toaster. She put on some coffee and walked over to him, putting her hands on his shoulders, trying to calm him down.

“I’m sorry, Theo,” he said. “I am an old man and a fool.”

“Oh, no you’re not. Well, maybe you’re a little old, but you’re not a fool. Didn’t you tell me once you were fifty centuries old?”

“Yes, yes, I think I am,” he said, seeming to calm down.

“Well, sir, you’re older than dirt. Almost as old as the pyramids. I bet you’ve seen a lot in your time,” Theo joked with him.

He looked down, solemnly. “I have.”

The toaster popped. Theo made up his bagel, a banana, and a cup of coffee for him. “Here, have something to eat. It’ll cheer you up. You know I’m just joking with you, right? I don’t think you’re older than dirt,” she said, worried about his sudden solemnity. She didn’t want to hurt his feelings.

“Yes, I know,” he said. He seemed suddenly weak.

“If you’re still hungry later, I can make you up some eggs or maybe some bacon, if you’re up for it. Just let me know.”

“Alright,” he said and ate slowly.

Theo checked her emails again. She worked from home as a social media manager for several large tech businesses in New York, including Stark Industries. She enjoyed being able to work from the comfort of her apartment. She didn’t do well in office environments.

            “Odin, I need to get a bit of work done today, so I’ll be in my room for a few hours, but the door will be open if you need anything, okay? Just give a holler,” she said.

            “Work? What sort of work do you do, Theo?” he asked, seeming to come out of his funk.

            “Oh, well I work for a few big companies here in New York. I just manage their social media presence, keep an eye on their analytics, marketing, that sort of thing.”

            “Oh, is there any fighting involved?”

            “Fighting? Good Lord, no! Well, not the physical kind.”

            “What is your preferred weapon?”

            “Odin, I don’t have a preferred weapon!” Theo said, laughing, though a bit unnerved by his questions.

            “Oh, come now, sure you do! A strong lady such as yourself. My son loves the warhammer. Melee weapons are his specialty. Mine too, you know. I think he got that from me. My other son prefers magic and long-distance weapons but he’s still rather skilled, I suppose. He got that from his mother, of course.”

            “Ah,” Theo mused, trying to entertain his fantasies while she answered emails on her phone.

            “I apologize about all that business with the frost giants, earlier,” he said.

            “Oh, don’t worry about it, Odin. No harm done,” Theo said.

            “I am always concerned they will one day rise again. Especially, after what Loki did to them.”

            “Mmm-hmm,” Theo muttered, mouth full of bagel. She swallowed her last bite. “Odin, I’m going to go get some work done now. In my room. Why don’t you have a seat on the couch and read through a book? There are all kinds, like I said. Have your pick and if you need anything, I’ll be just down the hall, okay?”

            “Yes, alright,” he said, seeming rather agreeable, again.

            Theo sighed, feeling she could get some work done while he read. She went back to her room and opened her laptop. It was quiet and peaceful in the apartment for about ten minutes before Odin wandered into Theo’s room.

“Your chambers are very untidy,” he said, spooking Theo from her work.

“Odin!” she cried. “Rule number six, Odin! Please, at least knock first! Don’t sneak up on me, please!”

“Theo! I need to visit the Doctor, so I’ll be going now.”

“The doctor? What’s wrong? Are you feeling sick?”

“Sick? Oh no! I’m not a human, remember. I don’t get sick like you do. I’m going to visit the Doctor to see if he’s found out anything about Thor.”

“Is this that magician doctor you were telling me about?” Theo asked. She was not amused. Odin had told her about some crackpot ‘doctor’ he had found on Bleecker Street spouting all kinds of nonsense to him. She thought he was some nutjob crystal healer after Odin once told her he was talking about these infinity stones that could solve all the universes problems or destroy it.

Theo thought he was just another asshole looking to take advantage of an old man. What sort of medical doctor allowed an old man to go homeless after being turned out on the street by a defunct nursing home? Surely, there was something he could have done.

“Yes, Strange.”

“Yes, he is strange. Odin, it’s freezing outside, and I doubt the streets are even clear yet. Can we wait til after lunch at least?”

“Oh, alright. Can I have some whiskey?”

“I don’t have whiskey. You can have water, though.”

He grumbled and walked out of her room. She sighed and put her hands on her temples. She rolled her eyes and went back to work. She rushed through to get everything done in time to take Odin out. She did not want him going out alone. The last thing she needed was him getting lost or forgetting that he was living with her now or worse, being taken advantage of.

She hoped that by the time she finished and made him lunch, he would have forgotten about seeing his crazy doctor friend. She really did not want to go all the way downtown to see this bastard in the freezing cold.

When she had finished her work a few hours later, she emerged from room to see Odin sitting at the kitchen table with a book in his hands. His eye flitted across the pages as he read. She smiled at him.

“What are we reading?”

“Norse Mythology by this, this Neil Gaiman. Do you people really believe all this nonsense about us?”

“Ha! Well, I suppose there are still some people that believe in the Norse gods. And that is, of course, a work of fiction based on the old Norse myths. Why? Is some of that a little fantastical?”

“It’s rubbish! Is this actually popular?”

“I suppose, so. It must be, you’re nearly all the way through it!” Theo said, pointing at the book and laughing. Odin shook his head and continued reading. “What would you like to eat? I’ve got some cold cuts; we can make some sandwiches.”

“Yes, yes, that sounds fine. And maybe some beer?”

Theo rolled her eyes as she walked to the kitchen and pulled out some bread and meat and cheese for sandwiches. At least, he wasn’t asking to see that doctor anymore. She made him a sandwich and grabbed a bag of chips from the pantry.

“What if I made you some tea, instead of beer?”

“Meh, I don’t drink tea,” he grunted as she set the plate in front of him.

“Alright, well what about soda or juice or coffee or anything else?”

“What about mead? Do you have any mead?”

“Wha–? Mead? Are you some hipster brewer now?” Theo laughed. “No, I don’t have mead.”

“What sort of place are you running here? No mead?” he laughed.

“Not a hotel, you silly old fart.”

“I am not a fart, young lady,” he said.

“Sorry, my liege,” she mocked a curtsy.

“You should work on that, you know,” he retorted.

“Bite me.”

“You know, you remind me so much of my beautiful wife. She had such fire in her. I think,” he laughed to himself. “I think she passed a bit of it along to both our sons. Oh, I love her so much.”

“Aww,” Theo said. “She sounds lovely.”

            “Oh, she is,” Odin said. “I wish you could meet her. She likes you a lot.”

            “Does she?” Theo knew that his wife had passed away a long time ago. He had spoken a few times about her. “Is that Frigga?”

            “Yes, she thinks you’re very kind for taking care of an old fart like me… Agh, woman! I am not an old fart!”

            Theo could not help but sputter and laugh at Odin’s outburst. She wondered if she’d ever get tired of his weird fantasies. When she was young, she remembered her grandpa had had dementia when he was Odin’s age. He thought he was a fighter pilot in the Great War, dropping ‘bombs’ on his neighbors in the retirement home. The ‘bombs’ normally being unsolicited farts on little old ladies and grumpy old men.

During his time there, before he died, Theo had gotten used to her grandpa’s wacky stories, some of which she thought had some truth to them. He had been a fighter pilot in World War II, and he had dropped many actual bombs on people. Some of those stories he remembered rather vividly, like Odin remembered his sons and his wife.

“Well, you tell Frigga, you’re in good hands,” she replied.

She meant it. She had been preparing to take Odin in for months, even while she was helping Jacob and Emily before him. She was prepared to have Odin stay with her until… well, until the end. She wanted him to have a happy rest of his life. Not living out on the streets anymore.

“You’re a good lass, Theo,” Odin said. “Your parents are lucky.”

“Pfft, don’t tell them that,” Theo said, immediately wishing she hadn’t.

Odin looked at her questioningly. “Why not?”

“Oh, well, um, my parents and I don’t really talk anymore. They don’t want me in their life anymore. At all.”

Odin shook his head in disbelief. “Why not?”

“Um, that’s a good question,” Theo said, laughing to cover how uncomfortable she was by the topic. “We fell out a few years ago and haven’t spoken ever since. They sort of disowned me. They didn’t ‘agree’ with the choices I was making, as if they were really my choices. Anyways, we don’t talk anymore. They live upstate. Or at least, I think they still do. I send them birthday cards and Christmas cards and letters every now and then but I never get responses.”

“What sort of parents don’t want their children around?”

“Bad ones,” Theo muttered. She stood and took their plates to the kitchen, trying to end their uncomfortable conversation. She washed the dishes and put them on the rack. Odin sat in silence at the table. When she had finished with the dishes, she returned to the table and sat down.

“Theo?” Odin asked. “Do you think we could go visit the Doctor on Bleecker Street?”

Theo sighed. She looked out the window at the street below. The streets and sidewalks were rather clear now. “This man is a friend of yours?”

“Yes, he’s a good man. He’s very knowledgeable about the happenings of the universe.”

“Mmm-hmm, well, I wouldn’t want you to go by yourself, so let’s go.”

            “Are you sure this is the address?” Theo asked, teeth chattering in the cold. She looked up at the old, art deco apartment bloc with the ornate windowpane.

            “Yes, this is the one. 177A. He is the Sorcerer Supreme, so be nice,” Odin said, rather chipper even in the cold.

“What is that, like a sandwich?” Theo asked, sarcastically, laughing and rolling her eyes. Odin stepped up to the door and rang the bell.

“Hello, Doctor. It’s me, again. I’ve brought a guest. Please, don’t teleport her into space.”

            Theo turned her head slowly to face Odin, staring at him. She shook her head. Hopefully, this crackpot wasn’t home, and they could go home and get some hot chocolate. She wrapped herself up in her long scarf and coat.

            The door creaked open and a man appeared. He smiled at Odin.

            “Wong, hello, is the Doctor in?” Odin asked eagerly.

            “Hello, Odin. Yes, he is upstairs. Come in and I will go get him.”

            “Good. This is my friend, Theo. I am her roommate, now.”

            “Oh, very good. It is nice to meet you, Theo. My name is Wong,” he said, greeting Theo with a handshake.

            Theo shook his hand and smiled. “Hi,” she said.

            “Please, come in.”

            They both entered the large foyer. In front of them, a grand staircase led up to an upper floor. Wong ascended the stairs and disappeared. There were strange cases filled with artefacts, lining the walls. Theo walked up to one, examining the strange wooden item behind the glass.

            “Odin? Is this a museum?” Theo asked him.

            “Hmm, I suppose it is, of sorts. Of Midgardian magical artefacts.”

            “Magic?” Theo said, skeptically.

            “Odin!” A man’s voice rang out from the top of the stairs. He appeared in blue robes with a red cape. Theo raised a brow at him. “I have not heard from nor seen Thor. I’m sorry to disappoint you again. I will come straight to you as soon as I know anything, though. Oh—” the man broke off as he came down the stairs. Wong trailed behind him.

            “Ah, Doctor,” Odin began. “This is Theo, she is—”

            “Oh, Lord,” the doctor rolled his eyes. “Another drug addict.” He grabbed Theo’s arm.”

“Wha-? Excuse me?” Theo said, in disbelief, trying to pull away but his grip was strong.

“What is it? Heroin? Cocaine? Meth? Let me see,” he said, taking her sleeve.

            “Strange!” Wong shouted.

            He pulled up her sleeve to reveal the scars of old track marks. Silver dots and lines peppered her skins. Some still purple only just beginning to turn silver with their age. Theo gasped. The room fell eerily silent.

            “You know, they all start to look the same, these people—”

            The doctor broke off as Theo’s fist connected with his face.

“Get off me!” she shouted, putting as much force as she could into her swing.

He let go of her arm and collapsed onto the floor holding his bloodied nose. Theo was fuming. She ripped down her sleeve. Tears welled in her eyes. Her fists clenched. Her jaw tightened as she tried to find the words to rebuke this revolting piece of trash, excuse for a human at her feet. She wanted to kick him, but she knew she couldn’t.

            “You deserved that, Strange,” Wong said. “This young woman has been caring for Odin and you’ve insulted her.”

            “Indeed,” Odin butted in. “I’ve never seen such disgusting disregard for personal boundaries and I’m from another Realm. Come, Theo. We should not have come here.” Odin took her arm and started leading her towards the door.

            “Wait, Theo,” Wong said, running down the stairs and stepping over the doctor. She did not meet his eyes. “I am truly sorry for Steven’s actions. They were unwarranted. We are very grateful that someone is taking care of Odin.

“We’ve been very worried about him since we realized he was here. He is a very special case, as you surely know. We have tried to get in contact with the Avengers and SHIELD to notify them he is here, but no one is answering us. Steven has been trying to contact Thor, but he is too far for us to reach him.”

            “What are you talking about? This man is sick, and you knew and left him out on the streets? What are the Avengers or SHIELD gonna do? Blow him up? Spy on him? He needs care from a real doctor, not some moron with a mail order degree,” Theo spat and walked out the door with Odin. She raced down the sidewalk ahead of Odin until she reached the street. She felt so hot, she might melt the snow around her.

            “Theo?” Odin asked. She stopped and waited for him to catch up. She hugged herself, brushing away the tears with the back of her glove. Her breath was hot in the cold air. Her cheeks felt hot and red from the embarrassment and shame she felt. Odin walked up beside her and stood patiently.

            “I knew you had a preferred fighting style,” he said. “I just didn’t expect it to be your fists!” He laughed a little. She could tell he was trying to cheer her up. A little smile crept across her face. “Is your hand alright?” he asked.

            “Yes,” she replied, looking at her reddened knuckles. “It’s fine. I’m sure I’ve had worse. I’m sure I’ve punched worse. That guy’s a real ass, Odin. He wasn’t even nice to you. He was so dismissive. I don’t think he’s looking out for you, I really don’t.”

            “Mmm, perhaps you’re right. We won’t be returning here.”

            “I’d much rather take you to see a real doctor,” Theo began.

            “Oh no, I don’t need a human doctor. I’m not ill. I was just hoping Strange knew something of Thor.”

            Theo shook her head. She would work on convincing him to see a doctor some other time, right now she wanted hot chocolate and the biggest chocolate chip cookie New York had to offer.

            “Do you like hot chocolate?” she asked Odin.

            “What’s that?”

            “Oh my God, how can you even live in my house and not know what hot chocolate is? Come on, sir. We are going to get some hot chocolate and cookies.”

            They went to Theo’s favorite hot chocolate café. It was, of course, extremely full since the weather outside was frightful but she knew the owner well and the next available table was cleared for them. She ordered her favorite hot chocolate for both of them and a plate of their fresh hot chocolate cookies.

While they waited, she felt tense. She did not want Odin to ask about what had happened. She sighed and looked out the window at the people and cars passing by outside.

“You don’t believe in the gods, do you?” Odin said.

“Hmm? What you mean like the Greek gods or the Norse gods?”

He nodded.

“No. I don’t,” she said. “But to be fair, I don’t believe in any gods. Not the old ones or the ones that are popular now. I don’t believe that there are such things.”

“Well, good. You shouldn’t because there aren’t.”

“Odin. You tell me on an almost daily basis that you’re the king of the Norse pantheon.”

“And I am. But I’m not a god.”

“You don’t make any sense.”

“I am Odin, the King of Asgard. But I am not a god.”

“Okay,” Theo said, thinking it better to agree with him than argue with him.

“Do you not believe in Thor, the Avenger?”

“I know who you’re talking about, yeah.”

“He’s my son,” Odin said.

“I… I…”

“You don’t believe me,” Odin said.

“Odin, I… It’s not that… I just… I find it hard to believe that an Avenger like Thor would put his dad in a home and then forget about him. If all this is true, why aren’t you on Asgard with him?”

Odin looked away, suddenly distraught. “I… I don’t know. I can’t remember,” he said. He put his hands on his head and started to hit himself. Theo jumped up, seeing that she had upset him.

“No, no. It’s alright, Odin,” she said, pulling his hands away from his head. “Don’t do that. It’s alright that you don’t remember right now. It’ll come to you. I’m sorry. Look, here comes our hot chocolate.”

He looked up, seemingly excited about the arrival of this new drink and food. The waiter set it on the table and rushed off to serve the next customer.

“Here,” Theo said, handing Odin his hot chocolate and the biggest chocolate chip cookie on the plate. “Give this a try. I always come here when I’m upset about something or in a bad mood or whatever. Even when it’s sweltering outside. Hot chocolate and cookies always makes me feel better.”

“Does it have alcohol in it?”

“No,” Theo laughed. “It doesn’t need alcohol. It has the next best thing: sugar!”

He took a sip and his eyebrows raised with the taste.

“Uh huh. It’s good, isn’t it?” Theo said. “It’s even better when you dip your cookie in it.” She broke her cookie in half and dunked it into the hot chocolate.

“How old are you, young lady?” Odin asked.

“Does it matter? You’re never too old for hot chocolate and cookies. Doesn’t matter if you’re my age or fifty centuries old.”

“Hmph,” he huffed, looking at his cookie.

Theo smiled. “Well, if you don’t want it, then I’ll have it,” she said, reaching across the table for his cookie.

He pulled away and gave her a steely glare. “No, it’s my cookie,” he said.

“Yeah, that’s what I thought.”

When they had finished their hot chocolate and cookies, they started back towards the subway station. They passed by several shops along the way. Theo was getting cold again and when she was cold, she tended to get tunnel vision. Odin, on the other hand, enjoyed looking into the shop windows. He stopped suddenly, staring in at one of the shops.

At first, Theo didn’t notice and continued walking. When she glanced beside her to see her companion missing, her heart skipped a few beats. She turned around, frantically looking for him over the crowd. She stood on her toes to see over everyone’s heads and found his white hair standing close to a shop window. She pushed back through the busy sidewalk and came to stand next to him.

“What are we looking at?” she asked.

There were several large, professional photographs, hanging in the small, independent gallery. Odin was taken by a beautiful landscape photo. Tall forested mountains with a large body of water beneath.

“Where is this?” Odin asked.

“Mmm,” Theo mused, looking at the photo. “I’m not sure. Looks Scandinavian to me. Like the fjords in Norway. Let’s see, what does this little card say,” she leaned closer to the window to read the display card. “Aw, yes. It was taken in Bergen, Norway.”

“It’s beautiful. I’d like to go there someday,” he said and then lowered his head. “I don’t think I ever will.”

“Oh, don’t say that. It is a beautiful place, though isn’t it. I’d love to go hiking in those mountains. I bet the view from the top is amazing.”

“Mmm,” he said. “It reminds me of home.”

[myaekingheart]

kakashi for the ask game! :D

Oh this is gonna be dangerous xD (and also really fucking long I’m so sorry lmfao)

send me a character and i’ll list...

favorite thing about them It’s so hard to pick, but I think his resilience. Kakashi has genuinely been through hell and back and yet he keeps going. His character development in Naruto is one of my absolute favorite things, the way he starts out as this seemingly apathetic but deep down very guarded character who ultimately grows to love his students and make peace with his past and finally find some happiness. He’s the man who lost everything and still keeps going and maybe it’s just because I, too, am a depressed bitch but that’s always bee super comforting to me and felt very reassuring. Like if Kakashi can hit rock bottom but pull himself up out of that pit and find happiness and success, then so can I.

least favorite thing about them I don’t even know if I have a least favorite thing about him. I honestly love everything about him. I guess the closest thing I can get to a least favorite thing would be that I wish we saw more of him goofing off and having tons of fun like when he and Guy raced in Shippuden. Hearing Kakashi laugh and joke around was just so good for my soul.

favorite line Oh no there are so many, I can’t pick just one. My favorite contenders are: “Leaf Village Secret Finger Jutsu: One Thousand Years of Death!” “Behind this mask...is another mask! Pretty cool, huh?” “I’m telling you this because you don’t get it. You think you get it which is not the same as actually getting it, get it?” “Those who break the rules are scum but those who would abandon a comrade are worse than scum” “I won’t allow my comrades to die. I’ll protect you with my life. Trust me.” “It’s like an acorn.” “Sorry I’m late, I’m afraid I got lost on the path of life.” “Sorry I’m late, a black cat crossed my path and I had to take the long way around.” “For those who follow the path of revenge, it never ends well. You’ll only tear yourself apart and even if you succeed and you get your revenge, what will you get then? Nothing. Emptiness.” “So it looks like neither of us have led a charmed life exactly. But still, we’re not all that bad off. At least you and I have found new comrades to help fill the void.” “Calm down, Naruto. Slow your breathing down” (mainly because this scene just gets me every time as someone who has had severe panic attacks for twenty years lmfao) There was also another “sorry I’m late” excuse that I don’t remember exactly and cannot for the life of me find but it was from a picture I saw somewhere, looked like it was maybe from a video game? Where Kakashi said something to genin Naruto and Sakura about the path of love or something? And they’re staring at him flustered pointing insisting “That’s...a lie!” Like I can recall the image clear as day in my head but I cannot for the life of me find it.

brOTP Hands down Guy. I mean, I ship them, too, but I just really love their friendship especially. Guy just really brings out the best in him and provides this really nice foil to Kakashi’s personality. I genuinely think Kakashi would’ve been done for if not for Guy’s loyalty and optimism. Their friendship is so fun and the two of them together never fail to make me smile.

OTP Does my KakashixOC ship count? Because if it does, then that’s my OTP. I have spent way too much time and energy on their relationship for it to not be. That probably sounds super cliche and maybe a little Mary-Sue-ish but I don’t even care, Rei and Kakashi are my magnus opum and I love them. I’m also just really, really proud of the way I’ve written their relationship. So much of their bond is informed by my own relationship with my fiance, and I think my own experiences have really evolved my understanding of what real intimacy in a romantic relationship looks like. It’s not so much about flowers and chocolates and date nights as it is about caring for and comforting the person you love, spending quality time with them, making them laugh and smile, being 110% yourself around them, and providing for them in their times of need. I have never written a relationship so real and specifically raw before, and there’s a lot of intricacies that I’ve worked in as well, that just overall make me incredibly proud of the progress I’ve made on their story, and proud of the story I’ve been creating for them in general. But if an OC ship doesn’t count for OTP, I really like Kakashi with Shizune, Guy, Yamato/Tenzo, and Iruka.

nOTP Oh god I have quite a few. I really don’t enjoy focusing on negatives nor do I want to start ship wars so I’ll keep these explanations brief. I can’t stand Kakashi and Sakura, the mere thought of it makes me *this close* to puking. I take big issue with ships in general between characters that met when one of them was a child and the other an adult, though. It just comes off incredibly pedophilic to me and makes me nauseous. The other big ship I take issue with is Kakashi and Rin but that’s more of a personal issue because their relationship, and Rin’s character in general, hit way too close to home (in a very warped and psychotically symbolic way) to some really traumatic stuff I dealt with in the past that took me years and lots of therapy to deal with, and it still trips me up to this day. It’s not anything that anyone in fandom has done or anyone who ships Kakashi and Rin with each other, it’s just a matter of me noticing parallels between the ship and my own trauma that make it incedibly hard for to tolerate content of it. Just to tack these on, as well, but I also really dislike him with Hanare from the filler episode and with Kahyo from the book Lightning in the Icy Sky. The romance with Hanare just felt really disingenuous to me like I can tolerate it, but it’s not my favorite. And as for Kahyo, I blame bad writing. The fact that the book was referring to her as “the woman who has Kakashi’s heart” literally within like two pages of them meeting really pissed me off. I couldn’t even finish the book so I can’t even speak on the rest of the relationship but I just got so turned off by the entire story in general because the romance was so unbelievable and abrupt. I feel like anyone who has read my fic, though, likely has picked up on my opinions on these, though. Not that I’m writing ship hate or anything because I’m not, but there have been little plot points here and there that have kind of touched on my feelings on these ships.  

random headcanon I have way too many but here’s one of them, I guess, though this is more a musing than a headcanon. I think, when the war is over and Kakashi can finally catch his breath, he goes through a bit of an identity crisis as he comes to terms with the fact that he no longer has his sharingan. After all, he had Obito’s eye for almost twenty years. Learning to function without it is going to be incredibly difficult but not only that, so much of his identity was founded on his secondhand sharingan. Who even is he without it? Does he even recognize himself anymore? And how can he ever live up to the reputation he’s garnered over so many years now that the source of all of his power is gone for good? Yes, he was a prodigy before the sharingan and he is still capable without it, but it’s going to be a big change and take a huge toll on him and his perception of himself.

unpopular opinion I’m glad Kakashi has never been given an explicitly canon love interest. Honestly, I don’t want him to have one. As much as he deserves to find love and start a family with someone, from a fandom perspective I much prefer him being open and available. It creates a much more flexible interpretation of him and his love life so that we, the fans, can write him however we damn well please and I think that’s pretty fantastic. I think it’s safe to say that Kakashi is one of if not the most heavily shipped character in the fandom and everyone has very strong opinions on who he belongs with and even how he idenifies from a sexuality perspective. I can only imagine the uproar that would come from finally giving him a canon love interest because you absolutely cannot please everyone. In a way, I feel like Kakashi is just a character who belongs to all of us. He is something different for every single person in fandom whether that’s someone to look up to and seek guidance from, someone to protect and root for, someone to relate to and find comfort in, someone to love and/or lust after. Or in my case a precious emotional support ninja husbando. I don’t know if he would’ve had quite the same effect on fandom if he had been canonically shipped with someone from the get-go, but I’m grateful that he never was and I hope he never will be so he can continue playing the role in fandom that he has been for so many years. That probably sounds selfish, though, but I just really want him to remain a character that belongs to all of us and is not inhibited by canon in terms of who he loves and how he identifies.

song i associate with them Again, there’s so fucking many so I’m just gonna list some of my favorites. Sign by Flow Friendships by Pascal Letoublon Hospital for Souls by Bring Me the Horizon SCARECROW by My Chemical Romance Disguise by Motionless in White-- this is a big one, especially the line “sick of wearing a mask, sick of hiding my face, sick of every motherfucker that is in my way, sick of digging for answers while you bury the truth, fuck your method to my sadness, I will bury you” like it just reminds me of ANBU Kakashi specifically, but overall his character development in coming to terms with his past and crawling out of his depression, too.

favorite picture of them Again...there’s multiple x_x

[showmeahero-a]

     starter sentences drawn from taylor swift’s 7th studio                                                 album, lover ( 2019 )

adjust as needed to fit your muse.

how many days did i spend thinking ‘bout how you did me wrong?

i forgot that you existed

i thought that it would kill me, but it didn’t

it isn’t love, it isn’t hate, it’s just indifference

i would’ve stuck around for ya, would’ve fought the whole town

devils roll the dice, angels roll their eyes

what doesn’t kill me makes me want you more

it’s a cruel summer

no rules in breakable heaven

we’ll just screw it up in these trying times

said ‘i’m fine,’ but it wasn’t true

i don’t wanna keep secrets just to keep you

for whatever it’s worth, i love you, ain’t that the worst thing you ever heard?

we could leave the christmas lights up ‘til january ; this is our place, we make the rules

there’s a dazzling haze, a mysterious way about you, dear

have i known you twenty seconds or twenty years?

can i go where you go?

can we always be this close, forever & ever?

you’re my lover

i’m highly suspicious that everyone who sees you wants you

i’ve loved you [number] summers now, honey, but i want ‘em all

my heart’s been borrowed & yours has been blue, all’s well that ends well to end up with you

when everyone believes ya, what’s that like?

i’m so sick of running as fast as i can, wondering if i’d get there quicker if i was a man

i’m so sick of them coming at me again

if i was a man, i’d be the man

what’s it like to brag about raking in dollars, & getting bitches & models?

if i was out flashing my dollars, i’d be a bitch, not a baller

i’m ready for combat

i say i don’t want that, but what if i do?

i’ve got a hundred thrown-out speeches i almost said to you

help me hold on to you

i’ve been the archer, i’ve been the prey ; who could ever leave me, darling, but who could stay?

i cut off my nose just to spite my face, then hate my reflection for years & years

i wake in the night, i pace like a ghost, the room is on fire, invisible smoke

all of my heroes die all alone

they see right through me

all the king’s horses, all the king’s men, couldn’t put me together again, ‘cause all of my enemies started out friends

no one understands

i want you

i ain’t gotta tell him, i think he knows

when we get all alone, i’ll make myself at home & he’ll want me to stay

he’d better lock it down or i won’t stick around, ‘cause good ones never wait

so where we gonna go?

you know i adore you, i’m crazier for you than i was at 16

i counted days, i counted miles to see you there

it’s you & me, that’s my whole world

she’s a bad, bad girl

the whole school is rolling fake dice

you play stupid games, you win stupid prizes

voted most likely to run away with you

you are the only one who seems to care

i’m feeling helpless

boys will be boys, then where are the wise men?

darling, i’m scared

i don’t want you to go, i don’t really wanna fight

i think you should come home

this is a fight that someday we’re gonna win

i wake up in the night & watch you breathe

kiss me once ‘cause you know i had a long night, kiss me twice ‘cause it’s gonna be alright, three times ‘cause i waited my whole life

i like shiny things, but i’d marry you with paper rings

you’re the one i want

i hate accidents, except when we went from friends to this

without all the exes, fights, & flaws, we wouldn’t be standing here so tall

i want to drive away with you

wrap your arms around me

i rent a place on [street name]

we were a fresh page on the desk, filling in the blanks as we go

i hope i never lose you, hope it never ends ; i’d never walk [street name] again

that’s the kind of heartbreak time could never mend

baby, i get mystified by how this city screams your name

i’m so terrified of if you ever walk away

back when we were card sharks, playing games, i thought you were leading me on

saying goodbye is death by a thousand cuts

i get drunk, but it’s not enough ‘cause the morning comes & you’re not my baby

i look through the windows of this love, even though we boarded them up

i can’t pretend it’s okay when it’s not

i ask the traffic lights if it’ll be alright, they say, ‘i don’t know’

what once was ours is no one’s now

you said it was a great love, one for the ages, but if the story’s over, why am i still writing pages?

tryna find a part of me that you didn’t touch

gave up on me like i was a bad drug, now i’m searching for signs in a haunted club

quiet my fears with the touch of your hand, paper cut stings from our paper-thin plans

gave you so much but it wasn’t enough

it’ll be alright, it’s just a thousand cuts

they say home is where the heart is, but that’s not where mine lives

darling, i fancy you

i guess all the rumors are true

don’t threaten me with a good time

just wanna be with you

i didn’t tell you i was scared

desperate people find faith, so now i pray to jesus, too

soon you’ll get better, ‘cause you have to

i know delusion when i see it in the mirror

i just pretend it isn’t real

i hate to make this all about me, but who am i supposed to talk to?

what am i supposed to do if there’s no you?

we were crazy to think that this could work

remember how i said i’d die for you?

we were stupid to jump in the ocean separating us

i can’t talk to you when you’re like this, staring out the window like i’m not your favorite town ; i’m new york city

they all warned us about times like this

they say the road gets hard & you get lost when you’re led by blind faith, but we might just get away with it

religion’s in your lips

even if it’s a false god, we’d still worship this love

i know heaven’s a thing, i go there when you touch me

hell is when i fight with you, but we can patch it up good

damn, it’s 7 am

hey, are you okay?

i ain’t tryna mess with your self-expression, but i learned a lesson that stressin’ & obsessin’ ‘bout somebody else is no fun

you need to calm down

can you just not step on my gown?

you just need to take several seats, & then try to restore the peace & control your urges to scream about all the people you hate

shade never made anybody less gay

we all know now, we all got crowns

i blew things out of proportion, now you’re blue, put you in jail for something you didn’t do

fighting with a true love is boxing with no gloves

why’d i have to break what i love so much?

it’s all me, in my head, i’m the one who burned us down

it’s not what i meant

sorry that i hurt you

i don’t wanna lose this with you

meet me in the afterglow

i lived like an island, punished you with silence, went off like sirens, just crying

tell me that you’re still mine

tell me that we’ll be just fine

tell me that it’s not my fault

tell me that i’m all you want

i promise that you’ll never find another like me

i know that i’m a handful, baby, i know i never think before i jump

there’s a lot of cool chicks out there

baby doll, when it comes to a lover, i promise that you’ll never find another like me

i’m the only one of me ; baby, that’s the fun of me

you’re the only one of you ; baby, that’s the fun of you

i promise that nobody’s gonna love you like me

i know i tend to make it about me, i know you never get just what you see, but i will never bore you, baby

there’s a lot of lame guys out there

i never wanna see you walk away

there ain’t no ‘i’ in team, but you know there is a ‘me’

you can’t spell ‘awesome’ without ‘me’

wanna hang out?

it’s nice to have a friend

something gave you the nerve to touch my hand

my love was as cruel as the cities i lived in

there are so many lines that i’ve crossed unforgiven

i’ll tell you the truth, but never goodbye

i don’t wanna look at anything else now that i saw you

i don’t wanna think of anything else now that i thought of you

i’ve been sleeping so long in a 20-year dark night, & now i see daylight

luck of the draw only draws the unlucky, & so i became the butt of the joke

i wounded the good & i trusted the wicked ; clearing the air, i breathed in the smoke

i once believed love would be black & white, but it’s golden

i once believed love would be burning red, but it’s golden like daylight

you gotta step into the daylight & let it go

i wanna be defined by the things i love, not the things that i hate, or the things i’m afraid of, or the things that haunt me in the middle of the night

you are what you love

[multiverseofimagines]

Hi sorry to bother you love, may I request a borhap/queen ship please? I’m 5’3, I have straight brown hair, dark brown eyes and well, let's say I don't like my body at all. Btw I love drawing, baking, listening to music (I'm a huge fan of Harry Styles and Queen of course). I’m a little bit shy, but once you get to know me I'm outgoing and fun to be around. I’m also very stubborn and emotional.

I ship you with

Joe and John

For Joe

You sat upon a park bench in New York city. Your sketch book laid upon your lap.

Your attention had been caught by a man who sat upon the grass. He was relaxing against a tree, scrolling through his phone. He was beautiful, and definitely worth sketching.

You had been so caught up in drawing that when you had looked up from the sheet, he was gone.

“ Is that me? “ You jumped at the voice, slamming your sketchbook closed as you did so. You turned to him, his eyes wide with gleam, a huge smile spread across his face.

You wanted to run away, your embarrassment taking over. But you just nodded slowly.

“ Sorry to frighten you, I just couldn’t help but notice you staring at me-“

“ Could I keep it?- the drawing?” He asked. You thought about it for a second, opening up your sketch book to look upon the drawing.

“ Yeah- sure. It’s not my best work though.” You shrugged, ripping the page out of the book.

“Well maybe you can draw me again- some other time.” He smiled down at you.

You flipped the page over, turning it slightly away from him, writing your phone number down.

You smiled before handing him the paper, “ Yeah, maybe I could draw you again- some other time.”

Extras

Adore you has to be your guises song, I’m sorry I don’t make the rules.

Your sketch book is literally just his face and body everywhere. He’s your main reference and the muse of your art.

Baking together ( especially around the holidays.) 

When he’s working on an acting project, you will constantly bring homemade cookies and cupcakes to set for the crew and cast.

Getting very annoyed with Joe’s quirks but loving them at the same time.

Joe loves to playfully tease you, especially when you are already annoyed.

Joe loves being by your side, he is your constant cheerleader and will be behind you through everything. Even when you are most defiantly over reacting, he is always there.

For John

You guys are one word; Wholesome.

At the time you had been taking over a managing position for John Reid, due to him being on tour with Elton whilst Queen was on a separate tour.

And though the guys had Paul along with them, John could tell that leaving Paul all alone with the four of them would raise hell. 

So there you were, on tour with the biggest rock band in the world, Queen. 

Every night was a new city as they embarked on a World Tour. And every night brought you the same issues. Brian had misplaced his toothbrush around four times. Roger had brought random girls with him onto the bus. Freddie demanded to stop off at every place possible to call the cats at extremely specific times.  John wanted toast, but the boys had used up all the bread. And Paul refused to help with most of it, as he also brought random men onto the bus.

On one of the days off, a very rare occurrence in their reality, you finally had time to pick up some groceries from the shoppe. The only issue was that almost all the boys had ditched out on you, except for one; John.

“ Why didn’t you go with them?” You asked, the two of you strolling the half empty shopping cart around the supermarket.

“ I have tried skiing more than once y/n. It is not my forte.” He laughed. You couldn’t help but let your heart swell as he did so.

“Why didn’t you ask Paul to do the shopping? You could have gone with them.”

“ Are you hearing yourself Deacon? Ask Paul? That’s like asking a wall to talk.” You sighed, “Plus I’m not super close with you guys, it would be a bit weird, yeah?”

There was a moment of silence before John turned to you, stopping in his tracks, “ What’s holding you back? From being close to us.”

“ I’m just- shy is all.” You admitted, avoiding eye contact from him. 

“ I understand all too well. I’m willing to be your friend though- if you let me that is.”

“ Of course.” You smiled back at him, finally giving in to his eyes. Beautiful eyes that you found hard not to pull away from.

Once you had gotten back from shopping, it felt like things had changed. You both had a desire to talk to each other and build a common ground.

Through out the rest of the tour, you both had each others backs, especially being the shy ones out of the group.

Extras 

He was so smitten with you after the supermarket. I mean, he was also smitten with you beforehand as well. His entire reasoning to come with you was based around him liking you. Roger knew this from the moment John had said no to skiing. John had been skiing plenty of times, and quite enjoyed it whenever him and Roger had planned such a thing.

The guys teasing him quite constantly about his crush on you. 

Freddie coming up with elaborate ideas for John to tell you.

But he ends up telling you by accident due to an argument between the two of you. 

One night after one of their concerts, they decided to head down to a club. John practically dragged you along, despite your many complaints. 

While at the club a girl had come onto him. It had left you jealous, leaving you wondering if anything would ever happen between you two.

Instead of being happy for him, and dealing with it in a calm way, your emotions got way out of hand, leading you to start getting real close and personal with Roger. Of course that wasn’t going to end well, I mean, its Roger.

One thing led to another and John had left the  girl in a fit of drunken anger over what he was seeing unfold in front of him.

He pushed Roger to the ground, whilst spitting perhaps the nastiest of words to ever come from his mouth. 

“ You fucking man whore, what the Christ is wrong with you?”

You grabbed Deaky’s arm, holding him back from Roger so Freddie and Brian could help him up. After they had assisted Roger in standing up, they had guided him back to where they had parked the Bus.

You turned to Deaky, anger seeping out of your body language, before speed walking to meet the others back at the bus.

John had ran after you though, and once you both were outside, it was him who was holding your arm this time. Holding you back. 

“ What the fuck do you want John.” you pulled away from his grip staring up at him.

“ I’m sorry” he cried out to you. “ I can’t do this anymore y/n! I can’t keep pretending that I don’t love you. I can’t keep watching you from afar, as if you are forbidden to me. I try so hard to forget about it, to let it go but I just can’t.” Your eyes went wide at his words. You were confused as to why he was so torn to tell you, it wasn’t as if you were taken by anyone.

“ Then what is holding you back-” You choked out, your voice lowering to a whisper. His drunken tears had invoked your emotions to spiral.

You started to talk again, airing out how you had felt, “ It’s not like I’ve been taken Deaky! Do you know how hard it is for me to sit there and watch you with these random girls every night, only wanting to fuck you to have another Rock stars name on their bedpost- When I would give anything just to hold your hand and-” Your body went still, and your mind was numbed as John had grasped you in his grip again, this time desperate for your touch and closeness, as he planted a soft kiss upon your lips. 

Idk this was shit please forgive me, I’ve been so sick with the flu ahhh.

[coldwordsburningheart]

RULES

AGE: I won’t roleplay with ANYONE younger than fourteen. I have nothing against younger roleplayers but I am not going to plot anything with someone who shouldn’t even have a phone or social media at least. (Yes, I am not an oldie, gen z here but this won’t change anything.)

NSFW: Mun is over 18. That means this is a free NSFW blog and I am open to roleplay anything. I have a few triggers that you'll find if you read all of my rules. I don't need to say that I won’t roleplay anything sexual with minors. I’ll have to ask your age if we do something like this. BOTH mun and muses need to be over eighteen. If your mun is not in proper age we can stick to the soft stuff only (hugging etc.) ATTENTION. I do NOT age up Shoto for the reason of smut. If you are not able to understand this, stay away from this blog.

SHIPPING: By the way I portray Shoto, he is biromantic. That means that I will ship him with both males and females but I prefer to stick to male characters. As long as the female character is well written, there’s always a chance to ship him with her. I have to admit I’m picky with female OCs because in my experience their portrayal is too shallow. Shoto is not just romantic. He needs to share a deeper bond with his partner.

TAGGING: I will write smut stuff under the READ MORE tool and I will use the tag: #smut. When it comes to triggers, I will try and tag some heavy matters under the tag: #tw: yourwarninggoeshere. I’ll use a space after ‘tw:’. You can tell me your triggers by sending me a message or an ask. Right now I tag anything that is written in my TRIGGERS PAGE (You can find it on navigation). I tag anything my mutuals have on their rules/about page. I am a human being so I might forget to tag something, so remind me if I haven’t.

FOLLOWING: I will follow most of my roleplay partners or those I want to roleplay with but if we don’t interact for a long time (a few months) or have stopped roleplaying for various reasons, I will unfollow you. I don’t mind not being followed back. This blog will include graphic images of pain and horror or NSFW content so I understand if someone doesn’t want to have my posts on their dash. For me following you, consider that I've already read your own rules and about pages.

POST LENGTH: My writing style is advanced literate. That means I need more than a paragraph to roleplay with. One paragraph is fine still, but as long as there’s something interesting to reply. I don’t mind how long your replies are. Just take notice that I will probably mirror you and my reply will be the same length.

WARNING: I have written this again but I want to make sure that it’s clear enough. I will probably roleplay some heavy matters like mental illness, suicide, torture, etc. There are matters I will roleplay that might make some people sick. So either tell me your trigger warning to tag those, either don’t follow me. That doesn’t mean that if you request me to roleplay something soft or something canon I won’t.

SELECTIVE: I am selective when it comes to writing. Like I said, I need a paragraph or more to reply. I need to roleplay in third person and I don’t roleplay on DM.

MULTIPLE THREADS: I don’t mind having multiple threads with the same person especially if I enjoy their writing.

MAINS: I have blogs/threads which I prioritize over others. This isn't personal. I just feel more motivated to reply to those. I don't have exclusives.

TRACKING:  I usually track my threads with an app but it takes a lot of my time. I try to use a tagging system even if it doesn’t work as well as I want it to. Don’t be scared to remind me to reply to something I might have forgotten. I could possibly forget to add it to my tracker.

REMINDERS: Constant reminders make me lose my interest in the roleplay (if there’s any). I understand and appreciate for someone to tell me I have forgotten something. Myself, I will remind someone of our thread after a month or even more.

REPLIES: I want to study as a med student and have to work at the same time. That means that I can be really slow when it comes to replies. I wish you understand and don’t feel offended or lose your interest if I take some time to answer our thread. I believe in quality over quantity. Some days I might reply to specific people. That has nothing to do with you or your writing. I just might need to roleplay a specific matter or thread or enjoy someone’s writing too much and need to focus on that for some time.

ASKS: I will reply to any asks. Sending me memes or starters makes me really happy, but I am someone who thinks of those as a chance to start something which has a well-built plot. Short time threads are not my thing.

GAMES: Tag me to any games and stuff. I love those and there’s a chance to show more aspects of my muse.

ICONS: I roleplay with icons that I have made myself. I don’t expect you to do so. Please, do not steal my icons. Some of them are edited manga screens which I might have spent a lot of time on. Especially my villain Shoto one’s.

CUTTING POSTS: I have finally found out how to cut posts. Still, I don’t expect you to do so.

STARTERS: My open starters are actually open to everyone. Then I'll reply to another post and tag you. If I offer to make a starter and you accept and you don't reply after a month, and if I have messaged you and you haven't responded but you are actually active, sorry but no matter how specifically we have plotted our thread, I'll assume you are not interested anymore and turn it to an open starter. I put some time on those and I don't want it to be to waste.

ENGLISH: English is not my mother language. I have learnt English completely alone and it’s something that had been hard for me. I understand telling me if I have made any mistakes or ask me if you didn’t understand anything but I won’t take any criticism.

TRIGGERS: My triggers are pretty funny. So please, I'd love if you could tag anything that is related to aliens. Mostly images because I can easily freak out about those. That's something I have since I was a kid and I can't get rid of it. Also, cockroaches. Please, please do not use them in metaphors in our threads, tag if you have memes about those and all that kind of stuff. I'd appreciate that A LOT. Another trigger that is about smut (jump to the next rule if you are a minor) is age-play. I've read some sick stuff on Ao3 so do not even discuss roleplaying something in that sort of thing.

TIME-SKIP: Well, I’m someone who can enjoy something that is slow. I am pleased with anything as long as there’s some really good and inspiring writing (how many times have I said this?). I can keep a thread for years (and I have) and not be bored of it. If you start getting bored we can time-skip but I’d want to discuss this first.

MEMES/FANART: This is something I had recently started to be annoyed with. Please, do not use me as meme or fanart source. This goes for roleplay partners or not. Please, reblog memes AND fanart from the source.

SPOILERS: This blog is not spoiler free. I am caught up to the manga. I will tag spoilers from the latest chapters ONLY as: #|bnhaspoilers|. You have been warned. 

THANK YOU FOR READING MY RUMBLING BEFORE MESSAGING ME FIRST. PLEASE CHECK MY INTRO AND MY ABOUT PAGE. ALSO YOU CAN CHECK MY VERSES AND OPEN STARTERS. LINKS ARE ON MY DESCRIPTION FOR BOTH COMPUTER OR MOBILE USERS. YOU CAN MESSAGE ME AND PLOT ANY TIME. THANKS FOR YOUR TIME. JUST FYI I AM A LOT LIKE SHOTO SO I MIGHT NOT BE TALKATIVE. THIS IS NOT PERSONAL AND DOESN’T MEAN I AM NOT INTERESTED FOR OUR MUSES TO INTERACT.

[authorlmfletcher]

For Adrien AUG-reste: Day Three

For @adrienaugust month. 

Warning in advance: This story may require a supply of tissues.

Adrien & Marinette have lived a miraculous life together. Marinette is reminded of that when, post-Adrien’s death, she finds his journal - a series of memoirs about his life.

If you prefer, you can follow along on Ao3 or on FFnet.

Tumblr: Day One | Day Two

                ____________________________________________

JUST A FRIEND

It was still hard, but the pages got a little easier to turn, his voice filling her head with the stories of their life together. 

I didn’t have a lot of friends growing up. There was one girl I knew from my childhood named Chloe. Her mom was a fashion guru and had kind of helped my Father to launch his design company so she was around sometimes when we were little. She was a force to be reckoned with, that Chloe - a miniature version of her mother - opinionated and callous, but she loved me in her own way. 

When Father finally let me go to school, I discovered more about friendship. It was so strange to see how people interacted with each other. I always thought it was because I was homeschooled, but I’ve come to realize it wasn’t how I was taught - it was how my Father controlled every aspect of my life up until then: who and how I interacted with others, when and where I could go. He kept me locked in my room to protect me, but in the process, isolated me from the world. 

Sorry, that digressed. I was talking about friendship. 

Nino was my first real friend. Somehow he managed to give me a chance even though I was that rich, famous kid who was friends with the class bully, Chloe. And because of him, I became friends with Alya - Nino’s girlfriend, too. Eventually, I had a whole classroom of friends. 

Nino has always been my closest friend. He basically taught me how to friendship works. In fact, one time, somehow - Nino convinced a group of the guys from my class put together an elaborate plan and managed to get into my Father’s house to throw me a party while he was away. It went a little out of control. I seem to remember Kim doing goofy poses on top of the piano in my room… in his bathing suit?

The two of us even roomed together, much to Father’s utter dismay, during university. I swear we somehow lived on pizza, even though it was completely against my eating rules. Thankfully, running around part time as a superhero saved me from the dreaded weight gain that a life of pizza could cause. One does have appearances to keep. 

He told me first when he planned to propose to Alya and I was his best man. Of course he was mine too. 

We’ve had the kind of friendship that doesn’t need to be next door, but he’s always been around when I’ve needed him. Like lately. Getting old sucks. Getting sick is worse. If he and Alya hadn’t come to help Mari after my surgery, she probably wouldn’t have eaten. I’m counting on Nino to help her again when I’m gone. She’s going to need it. I know.

Anyways, enough of the depressing talk - back to the topic friends! 

Speaking of Marinette, I met her back in middle school, too. Same day that I met Nino and Alya. She thought I was sticking gum on her chair like a bully and decided she didn’t like me. When I finally got the chance to apologize and tell her that friendship was new to me, she decided to be my friend. It took us a long time to get to the point where we were incredibly close though.

She went into this weird phase after that gum incident and couldn’t even talk to me without going all jittery. I finally asked her about it one day, many years later, and she turned this awesome shade of pink as she explained that she’d fallen in love with me and didn’t know how to talk to me. I might have laughed. 

Ladybug and I were a different kind of best friends. We were so busy trying to keep Paris safe that we spend so much time together. She knew everything about me that I couldn’t tell anyone else while I was just my normal self because I had a face to maintain. 

Man, I chased that girl hard. I’m not sure how she didn’t fall for my anime and cartoon style flirting - that stuff was on point! (It’s actually a miracle in itself that she fell for me at all, the fool that I was!) 

The day that I learned Marinette was Ladybug was one of the best days of my life. Both of my best girl friends were actually one! I think Marinette though was in shock when she learned I was Chat Noir. Maybe me consistently saying that Marinette was “just a friend” had gotten to her. She was wrong. I was so in love with Marinette as herself that I had to try and convince myself that I actually didn’t see her as more than a friend because I loved Ladybug.

Man, that was complicated.

Needless to say, friendship has been a huge grounding for me as I escaped my house as a young teen. The friends I made back then became my life. And I’m grateful for every minute that they’ve been a part of my life. 

I wish it didn’t have to end.

The funny thing about marriage? Your partner is your best friend. Marinette mused on that for a long time.

[ellipsesarefun]

Gossip.

Voltron fanfic.

390 prompts: 60, 61, 48, 7

A/N: prompt dialogues are italicized. Oh and that gossip really is true. Just.. tweaked it a bit. hahaha.

Cramming, studying, cramming. That's what everyone's been doing lately. Keith certainly isn't the exception to the rule. He has his own Embryology and Cell Biology notes to revise, as well as a Genetics report sheet to work on, and a thesis paper to draft and edit. He stacks up his textbooks and notebooks in one side and then rests the notebook, pen, and highlighter in front. 

Right. Everything is already settled. Keith was about to begin when a thunk sounded on the table and a large groan ringing his ears. Keith exhales an air he'd been holding in and ignores the person beside him.

"I can't do this anymore." Says his unsolicited seatmate. The familiar whiny voice is Lance, all right. Keith keeps his eyes on the paper, scribbling his notes.

"Fuck..." He hears Lance curse, "I feel like I've been hit by a car." Keith flicks a page and he continues his actions. Another sigh breaks loose but Keith steels his ignorance and careens away from his seatmate. He slides his textbook over and cracks open to a bookmarked page. 

Lance grumbles and repeats his complaints for what seems the second time (because somehow he's a never-ending stream of those Keith cares less to count). Keith shoots a glance to Lance shoving his books and notebooks; he smiles. 

"Frankly I couldn't care less." Keith obliges a reply. His retort is rewarded with a dry look. 

"I couldn't either." A third party intervenes. Keith turns to tousled ash orange hair and circular wire-rimmed glasses. 

"Hey Pidge." They bump fists and she pulls out a chair beside him.

"Watcha readin'?" She asks, straying away from his gaze to arch an eyebrow at Lance. She returns to her question to Keith before Lance starts a rapport. 

"Just on the chick embryo serial slide I missed to take pictures on." He says, lightly sliding towards her where the text faces her direction, "Do you have pics?" 

"Yea, hold on." She takes out her phone and shoves it to his side and continues to rummage through her things for other school materials. Without hesitation, he grasps it in his hands, swiping the password. He's done this a thousand times that Pidge wouldn't sick her robot on him whenever he looks at her messages by accident. Lance, however...

He glances at his other seatmate, who was already propped beside his shoulder, shining blue eyes fixated on the phone screen. 

Eh. Keith shrugs and thumbs the picture folder icon. The folder opens and he scrolls through the visual gallery. Somehow, there's quite enough slides that he's a little confused which one he's looking for. Her Histology class must be tackling the gastro-intestinal tract, he muses. When pink blobs take over the screen, he stops. He squints and taps on one of the pictures, revealing a pink blob of chick embryo with labeled parts in arrows and boxes.

"No way." Lance says, impressed, "Who has the time to do those things?" Keith snorts.

"People who like to ace in class handled by professors with favoritism issues." Pidge grumbles. She quickly arranges her notebooks and yellow pads in systematic order.

"Aren't you a Professor's favorite, though?" Lance points a finger at her. "Far from it!" She exclaims, batting his finger away from her line of sight, "I mean sure I get high grades but I'm more of a menace than an angel and professors don't like that. It's Acxa who is..."

"And that's a problem because...?" Lance trails off, and gestures at her with a tilt of his head to finish the sentence. She shakes her head.

"It's not Acxa who's the problem. It's Professor Haggar who is." Pidge rants. This isn't the first time Keith's seen her this haggard over anything (or anyone) but the overexaggerated squint of the eyes and warped frown is a sight. Even Lance is slowly backing away from Keith's side.

"What's this about Professor Haggar?" A muffled voice asks. All heads turn to Hunk munching on a cookie. Behind him follows Allura. Another beat of silence hasn't passed as Lance reiterates on Pidge's misery. When he finishes, the two have already taken their respective seats on the table. Beside Pidge, Hunk nods along.

"Yea, I get what you mean." Hunk empathizes as he chews the cookie on his stubby fingers, "Haggar has always been so moody. For the most part, she's okay with everyone except on her worst days." He opens his mouth, expecting the soft chocolate chip goodness on his tongue, only to munch on thin air. Hunk gasps, darting around for the cookie thief. His heated gaze lands on Lance, who was licking the remains of his last beloved bite.

"Hey! I was gonna eat that!" Hunk exclaims. The awful cookie thief merely smiles, not an ounce of guilt present in his smug look.

"Oops. Sorry. I was pretty hungry." His nonchalant demeanor wavers when chiding looks shoot at him from everyone around the table. Lance huffs and shrugs. Allura shakes her head and sighs.

"She quite has a noticeable favoritism, though." Allura chimes beside Hunk, tucking a lock of her white hair behind her ear,  "Sometimes she does cater to her students needs, but only when she seems available.  She often goes out for 'coffee breaks'," she draws air quotes, "but doesn't come back until the class session is over. There was an instance when Shiro spotted her with Professor Coran at the Tropical Hut by Altea Avenue."

"But You can't blame her." Hunk reasons, "Usually her Histology and Embryology lab classes are from eleven in the morning up until two in the afternoon. Of course she's going to be hungry at some point? Even the students go out to eat for thirty minutes."

"Yes, Hunk, but to not returning to her class until the session almost ends by ten or twenty minutes?" Allura rapports on. She exhales a frustrated sigh and fiddles with her long white curls. Pidge looks down to her right as her teeth gnaw at the bottom of her lip.

"I mean Histology and Embryology lab sessions are mostly looking at the slides and consulting the textbook?" Pidge says. Keith nods and looks at Allura. 

"Yea, and she always makes it a point to lecture a summary of the whole concept before she leaves us to our work." He says, "You really can't blame her." 

"But still." Allura insists with a glare. They all relent.

"Well, we can all agree that she has a tad bit of favoritism." Hunk says.

"More like over the top with an icing of her moodiness." Pidge mumbles. 

"True." That Keith can attest to. He's heard stories from a couple of his seniors about her. She had been a little too generous with certain students, like Acxa. Allowing extra questions after class, even to the point where she allows her favorites to her office.. Not once had he witnessed Professor Haggar snap at Acxa. And he's been with her throughout their entire block-terms and several other classes where Professor Haggar managed, as well as numerous study sessions with the rest of Acxa's group of friends.

Rumors fly around as her being terror thesis advisor. She has been known to provide vague instructions to students who are new to the field yet is seen to be helpful and hands on to specific people.. Would snap at anyone at certain times when they make a mistake yet would calmly criticize to a select few. So yea. Pidge has a point. 

"Hey guys, am I late?" All heads turn again to find a hulk of a man with an undercut bed-hair, dark circles under his eyes and two colored shoes. 

"Hey Shiro." Keith greets him. The said man lights up before flickering his eyes around his upper body.

"Hey, have you seen the...?" He maneuvers his hands around, circling himself until his hand reaches a paper stuck to his back, "Oh."  

"Are you okay?" Keith asks. Shiro turns around to him with a tired smile.

"Yes. Why do you ask?" He folds the paper and settles it on the table by the empty seat.

"You're wearing two different shoes."  Keith gestures down. Shiro follows his gaze and jolts at the sight. 

"Oops. I-oh god." He says, mortified. Keith waves a hand.

"It's all good, Shiro. We don't mind one bit." Keith assures him. Everyone else agrees along with him. He watches Shiro's face fall lax as he slouches down on his seat in between Pidge and Hunk. He closes his eyes and wow, does Keith see the thickness of those bags.

"I'm gonna nap for a few minutes." Shiro whispers, "Wake me up in a few minutes." They all say their affirmations before they return to whatever it is they're doing. The topic on Haggar has died down and Pidge is now scanning her notes. Hunk, Allura and Lance do the same, with another topic at hand. Keith casts a smile at the snoring Shiro and he quietly steers back to his notes. 

Sigh.

[showmeaheroarchive]

starter meme featuring lyrics from taylor swift’s third studio album, SPEAK NOW feel free to alter sentence structure, pronouns, etc. to fit your muse

“i was a flight risk with a fear of falling” “wondering why we bother with love if it never lasts” “can you believe it?” “do you remember, we were sitting there, by the water?” “you made a rebel of a careless man’s careful daughter” “you are the best thing that’s ever been mine” “we got nothing figured out” “braced myself for the goodbye, ‘cause that’s all i’ve ever known” “i’ll never leave you alone”

”every time i look at you, it’s like the first time” “i fell in love with a careless man’s careful daughter” “she is the best thing that’s ever been mine” “the way you move is like a full on rainstorm, and i’m a house of cards” “you’re the kind of reckless that should send me running, but i kinda know that i won’t get far” “drop everything now, meet me in the pouring rain” “i see sparks fly whenever you smile” “give me something that will haunt me when you’re not around” “my mind forgets to remind me, you’re a bad idea” “i’m on my guard for the rest of the world, but with you, i know it’s no good” “just keep on keeping your eyes on me” “it’s just wrong enough to make it feel right” “i’m captivated by you, baby, like a firework show” “i’m so glad you made time to see me” “how’s life?” “tell me, how’s your family?” “you gave me roses and i left them there to die” “this is me swallowing my pride, standing in front of you saying i’m sorry for that night” “i go back to december all the time” “it turns out freedom ain’t nothing but missing you, wishing i’d realized what i had when you were mine” “these days, i haven’t been sleeping” “you gave me all your love and all i gave you was goodbye” “maybe this is wishful thinking, probably mindless dreaming” “if we loved again, i swear i’d love you right” “i’d go back in time and change it, but i can’t” “i am not the kind of girl who should be rudely barging in on a white veil occasion” “you are not the kind of boy who should marrying the wrong girl” “don’t say yes, run away now” “you need to hear me out” “it seems that i was uninvited by your lovely bride to be” “speak now or forever hold your peace” “long were the nights when my days once revolved around you” “my mother accused me of losing my mind, but i swore i was fine” “you paint me a blue sky and go back and turn it to rain” “i lived in your chess game, but you changed the rules everyday” “i see it all now that you’re gone” “don’t you think i was too young?” “maybe it’s me and my blind optimism to blame, or maybe it’s you and your sick need to give love and take it away” “you’ll add my name to your long list of traitors who don’t understand, and i’ll look back and regret how i ignored when they said ‘run as fast as you can’” “you are an expert at sorry, and keeping lines blurry” “all the girls that you’ve run dry have tired, lifeless eyes ‘cause you burned them out” “i took your matches before fire could catch me” “i’m shining like fireworks over your sad, empty town” “you should’ve known” “you have knocked me off my feet again, got me feeling like i’m nothing” “someday, i’ll be big enough so you can’t hit me” “all you’re ever gonna be is mean” “why you gotta be so mean?” “you’ve pointed out my flaws again, as though i don’t already see them” “i’ll never impress you” “i just wanna feel okay again” “you can’t lead me down that road” “i used to think one day we’d tell the story of us” “lately, i don’t even know what page you’re on” “miscommunications lead to fallout” “i’m dying to know, is it killing you like it’s killing me?” “the story of us looks a lot like a tragedy now” “how’d we end up this way?” “you held your pride like you should have held me” “i’d tell you i miss you, but i don’t know how” “i’ve never heard silence quite this loud” “this is looking like a contest of who can act like they care less” “i liked it better when you were on my side” “i would lay my armor down if you say you’d rather love than fight” “i won’t let nobody hurt you, won’t let no one break your heart” “just try to never grow up” “remember that she’s getting older too” “take pictures in your mind of your childhood room” ”memorize what it sounded like when your dad gets home” “i just realized everything i have is someday gonna be gone” “i wish i’d never grown up” “walls of insincerity, shifting eyes and vacancy, vanished when i saw your face” “all i can say is, it was enchanting to meet you” “i’ll spend forever wondering if you knew, i was enchanted to meet you” “who do you love?” “this night is flawless” “my thoughts will echo your name until i see you again” “please don’t be in love with someone else” “now, go stand in the corner & think about what you did” “she took him faster than you can say sabotage” “i never saw it coming, wouldn’t have suspected it” “i underestimated just who i was dealing with” “she underestimated just who she was stealing from” “there is nothing i do better than revenge” “she looks at life like it’s a party and she’s on the list” “she looks at me like i’m a trend and she’s so over it” “sophistication isn’t what you wear or who you know” “they didn’t teach you that in prep school, so it’s up to me” “no amount of vintage dresses gives you dignity” “do you still feel like you know what you’re doing?” “show me how much better you are” “i guess you really did it this time” “lost your balance on a tightrope, lost your mind trying to get it back” “wasn’t it beautiful when you believed in everything, and everybody believed in you?” “your string of lights is still bright to me” “who you are is not where you’ve been” “you’re still an innocent” “you wouldn’t be shattered on the floor now, if only you had seen what you know now then” “wasn’t it beautiful running wild ‘til you fell asleep, before the monsters caught up to you?” “who you are is not what you did” “life is a tough crowd” “time turns flames to embers” “today is never too late to be brand new” “lost your balance on a tightrope, it’s never too late to get it back” “you and i walk a fragile line, i have known it all this time, but i never thought i’d live to see it break” “i can’t trust anything now” “something’s made your eyes go cold” “don’t leave me like this” “i thought i had you figured out” “you’re all i wanted” “can’t breathe whenever you’re gone” “i’m haunted” “i still mean every word i said to you” “he will try to take away my pain, and he just might make me smile, but the whole time i’m wishing he was you instead” “you told me you loved me, so why did you go away?” “i don’t know how to be something you miss” “never thought we’d have a last kiss” “never imagined we’d end like this” “i’m not much for dancing, but for you, i did” “so i’ll watch your life in pictures like i used to watch you sleep” “i feel you forget me like i used to feel you breathe” “i never planned on you changing your mind” “i said ‘remember this moment’ in the back of my mind” “you held your head like a hero on a history book page” “long live the walls we crashed through” “long live all the magic we made” “one day, we will be remembered” “for a moment, a band of thieves in ripped up jeans got to rule the world” “i had the time of my life fighting dragons with you” “may these memories break our fall” “if you have children someday, when they point to the pictures, please tell them my name” “tell them how i hope they shine” “i had the time of my life with you” “the jury’s out, but my choice is you” “don’t you worry your pretty little mind” “people throw rocks at things that shine” “life makes love look hard” “the stakes are high, the water’s rough, but this love is ours” “you never know what people have up their sleeve” “your hands are tough but they are where mine belong” “my heart is yours” “six months gone and i’m still reaching, even though i know you’re not there” “maybe i’ve been going back too much lately, when time stood still and i had you” “come back to me like you would if this was a movie” “i know that we could work it out somehow” “nothing’s going to change, not for me and you” “i just want it back the way it was before” “i wonder if he knows how much i miss him” “i always forget to tell you, i love you” “he’s not all bad like his reputation” “i loved you from the very first day” “don’t forget about me”

[autobot-scout-riella]

I really want to like your interactions and follow but they feel a bit too reliant on angst and really fleeting moments of happiness that seem to exist only to make the sad even more sad. Even the ship you have going with Blackout seems like they cling a bit too tightly to them and only smile when they are around. Again I really want to like Riella but it just feels pointless to attempt an interaction when she shoots down any potential for a meaningful thread with her distrust. :(

(So, I’ve been looking at this for about forty minutes now and I’m honestly not even sure how to answer, anon, because everything you point out is...pretty much done on purpose? I mean, I’m sorry you feel like there’s no point in approaching, and if you’d like to discuss some less-prickly plot options or something off anon I’d be happy to talk to you about it, but you’re objecting to some pretty fundamental elements of my muse, my characterization, and my writing, and the answer might be that this just isn’t the blog for you. Also, since you’re anonymous, it just feels pointless to attempt a discussion when the lack of a name shoots down any potential for a meaningful conversation.)

(I’m going to try anyway, because if there’s one thing I’m bad at it’s shutting up.)

(Frankly, this about the fluffiest my blog has ever been--there’s a more-or-less healthy ship in progress, Riella’s starting hesitantly and awkwardly toward some positive character development, and just about every drabble I’ve posted recently has had a reasonably happy (or at least, not outright angsty) ending. Riella’s a deeply traumatized war veteran with some seriously dark history, trying to survive in a world she’s not really equipped for with a support system she’s only just now rebuilding; happy fluffy stories would be OOC for her and for her world. Also, I like angst and I’m good at it. I completely understand if that’s not your cup of tea--this is escapism for all of us, and it’s your right to avoid things you’re uncomfortable with or just don’t like--but I don’t appreciate what feels like guilting me for the story I’ve chosen to tell and the way I’ve chosen to tell it. Especially when done anonymously, this reads more like an attempt at guilt-trolling me into writing what you want, and I don’t like it at all. If this, the happiest my blog has been in quite a while, is too angsty for you, then you probably don’t want to stick around for the upcoming backstory drabbles I’m hoping to write once I’m not sick and swamped with homework.)

(As for the clinginess and distrust, yes she is, and that is the point. It’s the first thing in my rules, described on the about page, and expounded on at length in this post here. Abandonment issues and paranoia are pretty well-established elements of her character. They’re supposed to be there. Again, I understand if those are flaws you don’t want to deal with, and to a certain extent I can probably accommodate that with some OOC plotting beforehand, but they were intentionally written into the character. It was on purpose. They’re not particularly glamorous flaws to have, admittedly, but not everyone can have pretty, easily worked-through issues. Sometimes people are messy and relationships are messy and trauma has lasting effects, and as a writer, I want to explore that. It’s okay if you don’t want to, but it’s not okay to tell me I can’t.)

[possessednest]

Mobile Friendly Rules

GUIDELINES (RULES LAST UPDATED, JUNE 2ND, 2021.) INTRO Hiya, you can call me Neth. Thank you for taking the time to read my rules! There isn’t much to cover, since I’m pretty easygoing with most things, but there are certain writing/rp aspects that I should address. THREADS I’m not picky when it comes to response length, but I do ask that you trim your threads. If you wanna start a thread with me, just message me, or just tag me in a starter. The mun is overage, but I would prefer nsfw threads to have some chemistry between the characters first. If I don’t reply to our thread, there is a 99% chance that I’ve lost it. So just lemme know! MUSES If you wish to interact with a specific muse, say so in a reply to a post! Or simply message me. Anyway that lets me know is just fine. Otherwise I’ll either choose a random muse, or simply not reply at all. ICONS Since this is an oc multi, icon use will come and go. I’m sourcing from my own artwork, and part of the motivation for this blog is to draw my oc’s more. So sometimes they’ll be icons, sometimes there won’t be. You are also not obligated to use icons if I do! MEMES & ASKS Are we mutuals? Are you an rp blog? Well good news! You can send in memes. Just make sure I’ve reblogged said meme so I know what is going on. GODMODDING/POWER PLAY Sorry, but if you do this you can say byebye to our thread. SHIPPING I’m perfectly alright with shipping our characters if we’re mutuals! I’m a ship-o-holic, so don’t be afraid to come to me requesting ooy-gooy shippy stuff. VERSES You can find information on these on the verses page! I’m also open to brainstorming how to throw him into a verse of yours, if you have one you prefer. PLOTTING Hey bro– we be mutuals? Then lets plot stuff. Come at me with those sick ideas/ship/heartwrenching plots. aus & crossovers You wanna do an au thing? We mutuals? LETS DO IT. FOLLOW BACKS & SELECTIVENESS Now in days, I’m pretty selective with who I regularly write with. This is due to the sheer volume that I tend to write,(My go-to is novella, so that probably gives you a good idea) as well as just basic writing chemistry. That isn’t to say I’m against finding new writing buddies though! If I follow you back, then that’s an open invitation to come and discuss rp things with me. NSFW & TRIGGERS Triggers will be tagged in their accordance when it comes to nsfw stuff. Did I miss one? Lemme know! I won’t get offended, I promise. Although please, please, PLEASE, don’t just randomly make the thread sexual. It’s a different story if we discuss it prior, but randomly springing that on me is a surefire way to get me to stop replying. Because of the themes that will be on this blog, I’m making it strictly 18+. THE MUN I’m p much a dork that doesn’t go outside sooooooooooooo don’t be intimidated by me in the slightest. I’m generally nice and won’t bite. I’m an artsy guy who just gradated from college with a degree in animation, so feel free to poke my brain about animation stuff! The mun is overage, 22 to be exact. I’m not new to Rp, and have been doing it for about… uhhhh probably more than 8 years at this point. My default writing style is novella, but I can do smaller multi-para or single para replies if writing large volumes is something that doesn’t click. CREDITS & DISCLAIMERS The theme, (and by that I mean artwork) header, and any icons I make in the future of this character are done by me unless stated otherwise. Any posts of artwork that I’ve done will also be tagged as such. Reblogs of my artwork are welcome, but reposting is prohibited.

[auctes]

💔 o shit

045 :      OUR  MUSES  AT  A  MUTUAL  LOVED  ONE’S  FUNERAL .    /    @blindedhope .

SHE  STARES  AT  THE  PHOTOGRAPH        as  if  to  will  it  to  life .      to  have  her  speak  to  her   —    dress  her  down   —    say  nothing  at  all ,      and  say  more  with  an  unassailable ,      pointed  look .      she  stares  at  the  image :      the  bow  that’s  stark  against  her  hair .      the  bow  that  adorns  the  picture  frame ,      and  casts  shadow  over  her  wife’s  eyes .  

fukawa  touko  knows  death   —    knows  it  so  well  that  they  must  be  on  a  first  name  basis  by  now .      death  is  so  comfortable  with  her ,      it  seems ,      that  it  invited  itself  into  her  home  without  pausing  at  the  threshold  …      walked  right  in ,      addressed  no  one ,      and  ensured  fukawa’s  wife  would  not  return  home  from  work  one  summer  evening .

“  i - it’s  tasteless ,      is  what  it  is  ..! ”      ceremony  …      screw  ceremony .      they  hadn’t  time  for  ceremony  when  their  classmates’  remains  were  scraped  off  the  killing  room  floor  and  shoved  into  a  meat  freezer ;      certainly  no  time  for  it  when  bodies  were  stacked  hundreds  high  in  the  streets  of  towa  to  be  incinerated .      she  thinks  it  unthinkable   — 

( kyouko  wasn’t  thinking .      was  she ?      was  she  thinking  of  how  her  life  was  no  longer  a  solitary  happenstance  in  time ?      how  deeply  intertwined  it  was  with  so  many  others’ ? )     —    that  fukawa  should  cremate  her  wife .      kirigiri  kyouko  never  was  one  for  ceremony  …      or  fire .      fukawa  reaches  for  the  cigarette  box  on  the  dining  table .

and  she  can’t  look  at  saihara  when  she  lights  up .      “ …      i  know . ”      and  still ,      she  does  it .      fukawa  was  the  one  who  imposed  the  no - smoking - inside  rule ,      after  all   —    hated  the  smell  that  now  reminds  her ,      inconveniently ,      of  kyouko .      her  hands  shake  at  the  moments  before  her  lips .      one  drag  turns  her  stomach ;      she  butts  out .

she  feels  like  she’s  holding  saihara  hostage .      life  goes  on  outside  this  house ,      apparently ;      lives  that  aren’t  kyouko’s ,      anyway .      and  she  knows  that  saihara’s  case  load  has  doubled  in  the  wake  of  kyouko’s  death ;      and  that  he  has  his  own  significant  other  to  deal  with  amid  this .      ( how  dare  he ?      when  he  knows  full  and  well  … )

whether  out  of  compliance ,      or  pity ,      or  bereavement  …      saihara’s  stayed .      saihara’s  helped .      because  fukawa  is  twenty - six  and  wasn’t  ready  and  won’t  ever  be  ready  to  accept  another  death  after  they’d  promised ,      no  more .      fukawa  knows  that ,      for  all  her  mileage ,      she  should  be  able  to  do  this  alone .      but  she  doesn’t  want  to .

                                                           they  decide  to  cremate  kyouko  after  all .

fukawa  feels  like  she  stinks  of  incense  long  after  the  ososhiki .      it’s  stifling .      condolences  are  stifling ;      people  are  stifling .      aren’t  they  supposed  to  be  adept  at  grieving  now ?      and  yet   —    they  treat  it  as  something  new ;      some  newfangled  post - despair  concept  that  they’ve  superseded  by  virtue  of  dues  they’ve  paid .      kyouko  certainly  paid  hers .

                                                          yet  somehow ,      they’re  still  digging  holes .  

and  their  way  of  life  is  stacked  together  like  bricks :      they’ve  all  been  so  focused  on  keeping  their  structure  upright  that  they’ve  forgotten  how  drenched  the  mortar  gets .      kyouko  was ,      inconveniently  enough ,      the  one  who  held  them  all  together :      fukawa  fancies  that  she  hasn’t  seen  makoto  eat  in  days .      she  knows  saihara  hasn’t  slept .

“ i keep  ...      wanting  to  blame  you . ”      it’s  warm .      fukawa’s  kimono  is  dark  and  heavy ,      but  changing  requires  going  back  to  their  home .      her  home ,       now .      “ a - and  i  know  there’s  nothing  to  blame  you  for  ...      hm .      anyone  can  see  you’re  a - already  flagellating  yourself  with  a  prematurely  severed  dependence .      i  just ...      want  s - sss...omething . ”

what ?      to  cry ?      to  catch  her  fingers  in  woe ,      and  smear  it  through  pages  that  are  guaranteed  an  audience ?      ��� you  must  be  grieving  terribly ,      fukawa - san . ’      ‘ i’m  sorry  for  your  loss ,      fukawa - san . ’      she’s  yet  to  truly  grieve ;      to  recognize  the  absence  that  will  alter  her  life  irreparably .      fukawa  can’t  stop  moving :      when  she  does  ...

“ i  guess  i’m  just  used  to  ...      t - to  having  myself  to  blame .      for  death .      th - there’s  always  been  an  answer ,      and  it  was  easy .      i - i  think  you’re  as  sick  as  i  am  of  hearing  that  accidents  happen  . ”      because  it  implies  that  anything  circumstantial  could  kill  kirigiri  kyouko .      fukawa  winds  a  loose  strand  of  hair  around  her  finger ;      pulls .

a  fabulous  detective .      a  fierce  friend .      a  giving  wife ,      and  one  hell  of  a  poker  player .      saihara  isn’t  much  of  a  public  speaker ,      but  he’d  nailed  the  basics .      and  now  he  has  to  go  home ;      get  on  with  it ,      having  interred  his  mentor  to  the  dust .      “—      she  saw  a  lot  in  you . ”      fukawa’s  hand  wanders  from  her  side ;      finds  saihara’s  shoulder .

                                              “ ...      don’t  let  her  down . ”

[pulitzerpanther]

More has been added to the queue (sorry guys xD)

I have tweaked the rules

The verses page has been updated to reflect a few more verses

Two closed verses added (Rhea/Kaleb Grant)

Open verse: “Bhutan”

Open verse: “I’m not James Bond”

The ships page has been updated to add a few more brotp’s/otp

Blue/Aloy added for @immortallionheart

Sass-tp added for @tiarawcman

My dear dear son-o added for @a-muse-a-dozen

Friends with (totally falling for you) benefits for @aluraze

I’m gonna mentor u whether u like it or not for @imnotdxne rly

A line of Cat’s true loves.

Everyone listed above now has their own tp/ship tag.

If anyone wants to be on the ship page (for brotps/otps)/you feel like you should be on the ship page, just let me know. 

I am currently working on an rp thread tracker, but since I’ve been relying on the queue this past week/will be relying on it until I’m not as sick, I’m not going to post it until everything’s caught up because, well...it wouldn’t be accurate. But if you want to know whether or not your post is in the queue, just message me or ping me on discord. 

<3

Jae