#sorry i’m bitter this was just a whole issue and all the nurses hated it when i brought it up n like scoffed in my face n km like uhhh

[bo0zey]

UR PRAYERS WORKED I GOT AN 87% ILYALL TELL GOD I SAID THANK U UR ALL SOME REALASS FOLLOWERS JESAS WOULD BE PROUD!!!!!!!!!!🛐🛐🛐🧎‍♀️🧎🧎‍♂️🧎‍♀️🧎🧎🛐🛐🛐🙏🙏🙏🤲🤲😩😩😩😩

i don’t believe in god but if any of y’all do can u pls do me a solid n ask the big man to give me the brain capacity and immaculate conception of brain knowledge to pass this final i have in 1hr?????🙏🙏🙏🙏🙏🙏🙏🙏🙏

[dadsbongos]

Alright, so, I'm well aware that the antag series revolves around her and Hajime, but I kinda wanna know more about her relationship with Nagito, Mikan, and Kazuichi during the tragedy and after the neo world program

I'm really hooked to this series, but can you blame me lmao-

i can’t blame you nonny, antag reader series is literally all i think about anymore, literal brain rot. this is basically just like?? a character analysis essay type thing? i’m so sorry it’s so long, i just got soooo into it

Request for: antag reader (Mikan Tsumiki, Kazuichi Souda, Nagito Komaeda) Warnings: despair things, face swap mention, spoilers, manipulation and bad friending :( ~~~

Mikan Tsumiki (and like a pinch of Junko Enoshima):

The Tragedy: So basically the whole thing with (Y/n) is that her parents were just so overcritical to the point where it rooted her complex and felt like they never loved her, right? So basically, Junko was able to attack that by showing her the bare minimum affection and introducing Mikan into the mix, who was in a similar boat with being unloved. Junko made them both feel as though she was the best love they could ever have and then made them compete for it at any opportunity she could.

Mikan always loved Junko but she doesn’t love (Y/n) the same way and vice versa, despite that, they do both care for each other very deeply. They desire no relationship in each other and even view each other as rivals who happen to find somewhat of a friendship together. Mikan thinks, and always has, that (Y/n) is much more talented and worthy of Junko than she is. However, (Y/n), being deeply insecure far below the surface - never stopped thinking that Mikan was more beautiful and worthy of Junko than she was.

They find both comfort and hatred in each other due to Junko making them act as competition. They both know the pain of Junko’s rejection but they also both know that if the other was out of the way, they could have Junko all to themselves.

When (Y/n) found out Mikan took Junko’s womb, it was a betrayal due to the fact that she didn’t know beforehand, Mikan had never said anything about taking Junko’s uterus. And on top of that, she found out that Mikan had tried conceiving a despair child during their separation. Even though neither of them loves each other, they know their relationship can be viewed as lovers - they often view it as such themselves - and so, (Y/n) felt as though Mikan had cheated on her. She basically had. Even so, she still knows that nothing could make her hate Mikan, she doesn’t love her as she did Junko, but she loves her more than any other woman she’d ever known. Mikan is the only grounding she’s ever known and the only person to ever relate to her on such an intimate level.

Going back to the feeling of Mikan being prettier than her, (Y/n) stole Junko’s face entirely because of that feeling of inferiority. She never told Mikan because she was ashamed to admit that she was insecure, it would make her imperfect to be insecure.

Overall, she’s never loved Mikan as a girlfriend but they’ve always been all the other had during The Tragedy despite their ‘rivalry’ and insecurities surrounding the other.

After Neoworld: (Y/n) is definitely nervous to be around Mikan because of their history with each other and Junko. Before Mikan wakes up from the program she’s constantly worried about if the nurse will hate her or be disgusted by her. The way Mikan had treated her right before her execution hinted at some tenderness buried beneath discontent, but that could always change. When Mikan wakes up she immediately looks for (Y/n) on pure instinct.

They definitely try to help each other heal and cope with Junko’s manipulation and lies. They both have come to realize that Junko never loved either of them and they didn’t love each other - any of the comforts they had gathered in The Tragedy was a lie and they help each other through that realization.

“You’re more than what she made you.” is a common phrase between them because they know she only made them compete for her own entertainment and their despair.

It was cruel and they have to live with every emotional and physical scar from that time. But they still have each other.

Any sense of rivalry has dripped away from their bond and is now wholly intertwined by genuine friendship and connection. By their experiences and how they’re growing away from Junko and into themselves. Eventually, all their conversations stop being about Junko and healing and start being about a pretty shell Mikan found on the beach. Or how the water looks so inviting, they should go for a swim.

Or how the chairs need repainting.

Or how some flowers outside the front door would be lovely.

Or how good breakfast was this morning.

Kazuichi Souda:

The Tragedy: Kazuichi wasn’t as “enamored” with (Y/n) as he was Sonia, but he respected her Ultimate and higher intelligence enough to also refer to her as ‘miss’ when they went to school. Though he largely stopped calling her ‘Miss (Y/n)’ during The Tragedy he still respects her a lot and is even a little scared of her sometimes. Again, she’s way smarter than he is - she’s not a super genius like Izuru but she’s a smart cookie and he’s not so delusional to think he’s near her in intellect. So the fact she can copy his Ultimate status and be smarter than most people in their class is quite intimidating for him at times.

Because of the confidence she projects and her charisma and, again, higher intelligence than his, he often follows her word and example without much thought. Like if he saw her jump off a cliff, he would probably go along with it because he knows she probably has some plan to get out of the situation safely.

(Y/n) views Kazuichi sort of as a little brother - but one that follows you around like a puppy and always bugs you. She doesn’t expect much other than blind support from him and kind of accepts that he’s her “sidekick” so to speak. They didn’t view each other as equals or even true comrades - (Y/n) was always just better and that went unquestioned. She definitely used him to gain without putting much thought into the long-term of their relationship.

After Neoworld: Kazuichi had regained his memories in chunks as they left the program and at least could recall being so-called friends with (Y/n). When they awoke, they didn’t talk to each other that often since Kazuichi was extremely bitter about how she’d treated them all in the program (and him as a Remnant) and so she was left alone with Hajime.

It’s only as she actually begins healing and expressing more humane traits that he starts talking to her again. Neither apologizes for anything specific, they just aren’t those kinds of people and both parties can let it go easy enough - they’d both done horrific things and they know that. He invites her into his warehouse to take apart the Monokumas, he offers to go on walks along the beach with her - he finds it nice to be in her presence again.

Because even after what they’d been through, I feel like he does still deeply respect her due to her talent. He just also has gained more confidence in himself while in the program and therefore has more sense to not let her control his actions. Which, he finds that she hasn’t tried doing and that always encourages him to keep coming back.

Kazuichi thrives on positive feedback and (Y/n) knows this, so every time she can she’s expressing how much he means to her as a dear companion - both of them being hesitant to actually label themselves friends. Especially Kazuichi, who had already been hit by poor friendship and trust issues, remembering that (Y/n) used him during The Tragedy makes his brain go fuzzy on how he feels about her. Sometimes he’s angry and other times he forgives her wholeheartedly because he knows she’s sick and he wants her to be able to maintain the friendships that he’s able to.

I think it’s after she apologizes to everyone, pre-Nagito waking up but post Gundham and Nekomaru, that he really just lets go of everything.

It’s not easy to forget that he was just her tool but he knows that she’s better now and they start hanging out more often, by themselves, having a good ol’ time talking about absolute nonsense.

Respect turns into admiration.

Nagito Komaeda:

The Tragedy: So I’d already mentioned that (Y/n) influenced him into becoming Servant, but I wanna expand on that before digging into anything else. At heart, Nagito is a people pleaser to the Ultimates, and none more than the copycat who can master pretty much anything she wants. During their school years, she didn’t see anyone as her equal and that resonated with Nagito’s inferiority complex and while she hates people who have no confidence, she would hate to be like everyone else more. So she kinda just accepted the servitude that came with befriending Nagito on the first day of school up until The Tragedy where he practically begged her to take him with her wherever she went.

She was the first one to really hold onto his chain, both literally and metaphorically. He joined the Ultimate Despair with Junko to create a despair to overcome, but only (Y/n) was allowed to actually touch him - or else he started throwing a huge fit. 

In order to spread despair and crush Nagito’s everlasting obsession with hope, she probably intentionally ignores and neglects him when he needs her.

This largely means when he’s mourning/remembering his parents and dog or his illnesses or when he’s falling into despair and needs her to pull him out, she’s just watching and doing nothing.

In fact, when Nagito had brought up his plans to join the Warriors of Hope he was really hoping she’d speak against it, and she didn’t. She actually encouraged it. Pushing him to leave her alone and join the WOH. It hurt, of course, it would, but he left all the same and they hadn’t spoken since despite their ‘friendship’. (Y/n) never bothered going after him, again to crush his love of hope. 

She left him unhinged, alone, sick to fend for himself until he found the WOH, and even when he found them - she didn’t seem to care whether they let him live or killed him.

After Neoworld: Honestly? To say that she mourns Nagito, and her entire relationship with Nagito, is a huge fucking understatement. Especially as the others begin waking up and Hajime helps her grow, she just gets more and more depressed over her situation with Nagito. And as he takes longer and longer to wake up, she begins to accept that she was horrible to him and doesn’t deserve his forgiveness.

Before The Tragedy even, since they’d met. She always treated him with as little human respect as she could - she did it with everyone but especially him. He was basically just a little errand boy she liked to talk to and she didn’t treat him as more. During their time in despair, she was barely around for him, only holding him together when the others pushed her to do it because he was being annoying. She was so awful to the man she always claimed was her closest friend. And she wants him to hate her for it so bad.

Then he wakes up and he sees her and he smiles. He could never hate her and it only makes her feel worse.

Nagito sees how much she’s changed and he begins changing too, she tells him about how Hajime has helped her so much and he begins to follow her around with Hajime. She’s worried he’ll consider himself her lapdog again but it’s cleared up when he doesn’t run to her side one morning out of the few left before they leave.

In fact, it’s when he doesn’t speak to her for hours on end she realizes that every interaction they had was under his free will and choice. 

He doesn’t do her chores for her. She doesn’t watch him fall apart silently. They talk like friends do. Not about how talentless people are worthless or how hope is all that matters but about how they can’t wait to rebuild their favorite hangout spots and make better memories there together.

They sort of have an unannounced “restart” where they just wipe the slate clean, mostly on (Y/n)’s part so she can treat Nagito how he deserves. As a true friend rather than a pawn.

[sellyoursoulforagoodfic]

Could/Should/Did: Bucky Barnes-Intro

Bucky Barnes x reader

Word Count: 1474

Summary: You were somehow immortal, and that meant that you got to watch the man you loved, the Winter Soldier apparently, be blamed for things he didn’t do. Not on your watch.

Note: Inspiration on the whole immortal thing from the Old Guard (great movie, go watch it)

You couldn’t die.

Or at least, you were pretty sure you couldn’t.

You hadn’t exactly tested that theory to its full limits despite how much your mind told you to sometimes.

To back up and explain the situation a little better, it all started when you found one James Barnes scrounging in the streets for some change to help pay for his best friend’s mediciner. You’d helped him out, made friends with them both, and the rest--as they say--was history. You and Bucky fell in love somewhere along the way, which was precisely the reason you became an army nurse when he signed up. He’d kicked up a fit since no one would be home to watch out for Steve, but Steve had wholeheartedly agreed that Bucky needed you to watch his back more than he ever could.

Through, thick, thin, and his unit’s kidnapping you were by Bucky’s side. Even after the whole ‘Steve is huge now’ thing and the formation of the Howling Commandos you were there, working with Peggy and Howard to bring your boys home safe.

And then your boy didn’t.

And then Peggy’s didn’t.

For a while you drifted, lost without the man you’d basically grown up with. Eventually, you realized that you weren’t aging, so you tracked down your old friend Peggy to try and figure out if there really was something to those Hydra experiments you’d been subjected to back in the war. Of course without the original data, Howard didn’t find anything conclusive. All you knew was that bullets were ejected from your body in seconds, cuts healed over even faster, and poison did little more than make you drowsy. All vitals were just the same as a normal person. There was seemingly no reason for you to be like this, but there you were, looking like you were barely 25 while your friends passed 40.

So you did the only thing you could: accept it and move on. SHIELD helped hide your secret while you played spy and fed them information when you found it. You stayed in the field, record hidden, so no one besides the highest members of the organization knew your face.

And time moved on.

Friends died, new ones took their place, and you tried to protect them as much as possible. Rinse and repeat.

When it hit the news that Steve Rogers was back, you stayed away. Hidden in South America dealing with some human trafficking rings so you didn’t have to look at the man who was once one of your closest friends. Whether you avoided him because you didn’t want him to see the killer you’d become or because you were bitter it was him and not your lover that’d come back from the dead, you didn’t care to analyze. As far as he knew, you’d died a long time ago after living a long, normal life, and any mentions of your still-occurring visits to Peggy from the woman’s own lips were written off alongside the issues to her memory.

It was purely by happenstance that you were in New York during the invasion. Clint and Natasha clearly saw the hallmarks of your fighting style while helping with the cleanup after, but they thankfully kept it to themselves since they knew how deep undercover you were at any given time. They made a point of thanking you later, though, when you met up for drinks in Nowhere, Germany a few months later.

The next you heard of Steve was that fiasco in DC. You were fuck and gone away from that mess, so you could nothing but sit in mute horror when Natasha exposed all of SHIELD’s files. Including yours. 

And that was how you ended up lurking behind a tree when Natasha gave Steve the file on the Winter Soldier.

“What’s in there,” she was saying, “You may not want to read it.”

“So,” that was a voice you only knew because of your research, Sam Wilson, “when do we start?”

“Before you do,” Natasha spoke up again, “I know someone that might be able to help.”

You took that as your cue to make your presence known, so you stepped out from behind the tree with an awkward little wave. “Hey, Stevie.”

He just stared at you for a while, muted by the shock. Eventually, he managed to force out, “I saw the files, but I didn’t think . . .” in a broken-sounding voice.

You nodded. “If you saw my file then you know . . .” You couldn’t say the words.

“That you’re somehow tougher than Steve?” Sam teased. “Yeah, he filled me in.”

“She’s always been tougher than me, Sam,” Steve joked weakly. “You shoulda seen her back in the day with Buck and Peggy. Unstoppable, those three.”

“You’re just mad we made you sleep a reasonable amount.”

“I think I’ve caught up on that by now.” His tone was playful, but his face was pained. You couldn’t exactly blame him for that. You’d come just as jarringly forward in time as him. You’d just taken the long way around.

An awkward silence fell over the cemetery.

“Is it true?” you eventually asked tentatively.

Steve nodded once., clearly trying to swallow back the rising emotion. “Yeah. It’s him. Without a doubt.”

“Then let’s find him.”

Sam smirked a little. “It won’t be easy.”

“The only easy thing about Bucky Barnes is flirting with him,” you scoffed. “Besides, I’ve had some practice doing the impossible by now.”

He snickered. “Fair enough. Where do we start?”

~

There were some things you would absolutely never tell Steve: that you knew how it felt to drown over and over again because your body just wouldn’t let you die, that you hunted down as many Nazis that fled to South America that you could after the war, and now that you’d found bucky (now going by Jamie) only a month into the search with Sam. He was spending his time split between hiding in Romania trying to recover his memory and hunting down Hydra cells as he recalled their existence. Odds were good that the Winter Soldier knew he had a tail that helped watch his back from a distance on those missions, but you respected that he needed time to try and get his mind back together and didn’t approach. You simply helped keep him safe and stayed away.

Then Ultron happened.

Then the Sokovia Accords happened and divided the now-famous Avengers. Thankfully since you were a ghost (and had largely managed to bury any records mentioning you shortly after they were released), you were excluded from those negotiations.

And then Bucky was framed for a bombing in a country he hadn’t set foot in since breaking his programming. You knew he was an innocent since you had eyes on him buying groceries at the time that damning video was taken.

You couldn’t help but jump in surprise when your phone rang, startling you out of your horror-filled staring at the news. Of course it was Steve’s name displayed on the screen. “It wasn’t him, Steve,” was your blunt greeting.

“I know. You know where he is, don’t you?”

Your answer was silence.

“They’re willing to kill him to bring him in. I need to get to him first. Where is he?”

“Steve . . .”

“You want to protect him as much as I do, sweetheart. You need the help. Where are you?”

You sighed, knowing and hating that he was right. “Track this number. I’ll be in his apartment while he’s at the market.”

“Is that wise? Surprising him like that?”

“What’s he gonna do? Kill me?” you scoffed just before hanging up. “Lovely,” you muttered to yourself in the silence that followed.

~

“It’s good to see you,” Steve greeted as he clambered through the window.

“Don’t lie to me; you hate that my hands are as dirty as they are.” It was true; the two of you had gotten into an argument not long into the hunt for Bucky about the things he’d read about you in that report.

“I’m always happy to see you. It’s nice having someone that understands.” He smirked. “Whether or not you wash your hands. You really should though; stops spreading germs from what I’ve read.”

“Steve . . .” you groaned, scratching the bridge of your nose. “I don’t really understand, though; you need to know that. I’ve lived the time difference, and I’ve done a lot of things I’m not proud of nor sorry for.” You were firm in that stance even in that first argument.

His expression returned to something more serious. “I know. Maybe you can help him. You know. Similar life experiences and all.”

“I don’t think what we went through are quite the same thing,” came Bucky’s tired voice as he opened the door and entered the apartment. “Hey, Steve . . . Doll. It’s been a while.”

[hollyxqx]

ALWAYS  :  NAMJOON  :  EPILOGUE

↪ PAIRING: Kim Namjoon x Reader ↪ GENRE: idol!au | ex’s to lovers | angst | smut ↪ SUMMARY: the story of how almost divorced, disgraced idol kim namjoon tries to put his life back the way it was after the world found out he was married and had a kid. ↪ WORD COUNT: 6k

↪ WARNINGS: angst angst angst, smut, nj has a mild pregnancy kink, oc body shames themselves a lot, milddddd drug references, tooth-rotting fluff

a/n: sorry this was delayed but here it is! thank you for being so patient and i really hope yall enjoy/are satisfied with the ending . my ask is always open if you have any questions or comments :):)

ONE  :  TWO  :  EPILOGUE

By day number four of avoiding Namjoon you knew it was time to relent and at the very least speak to him. Days one through three were spent using your mom's house as a temporary hideout. You knew there was a million questions whirring around in her head at your surprise visit, but you kept quiet, merely stating you wanted a break. She had given you the kind of look that was equal parts disapproving and disappointed, in only the way a mother could combine those expressions. It made you wonder if you made that face too.

Namjoon had called and texted everyday, each time begging you to talk to him. Your fingers would itch over the messages, tempted to just give in. You hated this as much as he did. After finally, finally, getting what you'd wanted for years -  your family whole - it felt like it was slipping through your fingers again.

It was a loss you weren't sure if you could endure again.

Siwoo sat happily on his play mat, toy car in hand while you kept a careful watch on him. He had a tendency to put things in his mouth that didn't belong there, so you made sure to pay attention.

You were extra thankful for him as of late, your ray of sunshine in these dark few days. Though, when he went to bed in the evenings everything hit you the hardest, raw and painful. You'd had such little sleep in the last few days it was a miracle you were functioning as well as you were. Months of sleepless nights when Siwoo was a newborn had trained you well, you supposed.

The tea in your mug had gone cold and it tasted as bitter as you felt. You had gone back and forth several thousand times about whether you were over-reacting or not. The initial knee jerk reaction you have is to run when things get difficult. You'd been that way your entire life, often times to your detriment.

Over the course of your entire relationship with Namjoon that had been a recurring issue. Every argument, every fight, squabble, disagreement or otherwise, you were the one that bailed. The one that needed time to cool off. Which ultimately led to you filing for divorce in the end. Maybe it was time to confront your issues instead of running away from them.

The doorbell rang exactly at four p.m, signalling Namjoon had arrived. He knew the passcode and could easily enter if he so much as wanted to, having done so for the last few months. But you knew Namjoon. This was a way of showing you some respect, showing you he was giving you your space and would wait for you to come to him when you were ready. The same pattern as always.

With a heavy heart you trudge to the door, nursing your still cold tea. When you open the door Namjoon stood on the other side, looking as awful as you felt. "Hi." He said quietly, rubbing a sheepish hand over his unshaven face.

"Hi."

You step to the side, allowing him to cross the threshold into the apartment. A surprised, hesitant look crossed his face but he stepped inside regardless.

"Siwoo is in the living room." You told him, straight to the point. He nodded. After all, that was the reason he was here. You were forced out of your silence because you'd never keep his child from him, no matter how bad things got between you.

You hung back in the kitchen and busied yourself with making another cup of tea that you didn't particularly want. It was just an excuse to hide and you knew it. Coward that you were.

You could hear Siwoo's delight at seeing Namjoon as you waited for the kettle and it made your heart ache. He had missed his dad, having been used to his presence much more. The guilt it caused you plagued you constantly, since you were the reason for the separation.

Namjoon appeared in the kitchen a few moments later, Siwoo perched on his hip. A small smile escaped you at the grin on your son's face as his tiny head rested against Namjoon's chest. He still clutched the toy car.

"I'm all set to go." Namjoon announced. He shifted somewhat awkwardly. "Unless you want to..."

"Not yet." You didn't know exactly what he had in mind but you weren't ready for that talk at this moment in time.

He nodded, looking disappointed. "Will I still see you on Sunday?"

"Yeah, why wouldn't you? You're not keeping Siwoo forever." You knew instantly what you said had been far too harsh and definitely out of line. Namjoon's face flashed with pain. "I don't mean it like it that - " You attempted to explain that you weren't infact referring to your son as an object but you were cut off.

"I thought you might send your mom or Jess or anyone else in the world to do it." He informed you.

"It'll be me on Sunday, Namjoon."

"Can we have dinner then? If not for me, for Siwoo." He asked expectantly. You didn't have the heart to refuse him again, not when he looked at you with that desperate longing in his eyes.

"Okay. Dinner, then."

*** Standing outside Namjoon's extravagant house two days later you felt sick, absolutely sick to your stomach, throw up in a hedge nauseous. The combination of nerves, the secret pregnancy and the fact that the last time you were here was one of the worst days of your life had bile creeping up your throat.

When Namjoon finally answered the door, you hurried past him to the bathroom, muttering something about needing to pee. He could only watch you with a bewildered expression, clearly he'd expected a repeat of the awkward interchange from the other day.

You made it to the toilet just in time, praying he didn't hear the sound of you heaving your guts out over the porcelain. As you borrowed some of his mouthwash and cleaned your hands you debated what lie to feed him. Thankfully it wasn't the morning so you hoped you'd be able to get away with food poisoning as your excuse.

You returned to a worried Namjoon. "Are you ok? I heard you throw up." He asked, concerned.

"Yeah, I think I've just got food poisoning."

He stared at you curiously for a beat. "Do you want to lie down before dinner? It won't be ready for another 45 and I'd rather you felt alright."

You shook your head no. "Thanks Joonie, but I'm okay."

His expression softened at your use of his nickname, he hadn't heard it in a while. You didn't intend to use it but it slipped out so naturally. Especially when he was concerned about you.

The kitchen smelled incredible as you entered. Namjoon didn't cook often being the clumsy chef that he was, opting for takeout usually, sometimes multiple times a day. "What are you making? It smells good. Hi boop." You gave Siwoo a cuddle from behind as he sat in his high chair. He squealed with joy in your arms. "Mommy missed you."

"Lamb curry." Namjoon stated. "And just plain pasta for the kiddo."

"And how much has Seokjin helped you with all this?" You couldn't help but tease. Namjoon smirked.

"Alot." He turned away from you to fuss with the pot on the stove. "I wanted to do something nice for you. Figured you'd appreciate the effort."

You made a non-committal noise as you slotted yourself into the chair next to your child, still feeling a little queasy. It was silent until Siwoo's food was ready when Namjoon offered to feed him for you, but you declined. You were happy to do it. He could mostly feed himself anyway but sometimes needed a little help.

With nothing more to do for the time being Namjoon sat opposite you. You could feel his eyes on you but you deliberately kept your own on Siwoo. "What did you boys get up to then?" You murmured, trying to get Siwoo to eat with his small cutlery and not his hands. "The food is hot Siwoo, use this."

"Nothing too exciting. Mostly swimming, I've got the pool up and running again. That kid is a water baby through and through."

You nodded in agreement, having witnessed it first hand yourself. Ever since he figured out what water was you could barely keep him away from it, essentially making bath time a messy affair. "He especially loves your pool since you got that slide."

"I did it for him."

"I know."

Namjoon stood after a while and went to the cupboard, taking out two wine glasses. He placed one in front of where you sat, setting the other at his side of the table. "I got your favourite sauvigon blanc. The one from the top shelf." He mumbled, corking open the bottle he'd grabbed. "Here."

He began pouring you a glass. "Oh no, no thanks, I'm not dri - Siwoo don't throw your pasta."

Namjoon stopped mid pour, raising his eyebrow at you, ignoring the macaroni that hit the floor. "No wine?"

"My stomach still doesn't feel right." You lied, giving him an apologetic look. "Better avoid the alcohol."

"That's not like you." He paused giving you a curious look. "Is everything okay?"

"Yes, I'm fine. I just don't want to drink. I'll be driving again soon anyway."

He didn't know that you physically could not and would not touch alcohol due to tiny life that was growing inside you. The tiny life you still didn't know what the fuck you were going to about. Your stomach flipped anxiously.

"Okay." He said staring at you for a little too long. He swapped your slightly filled glass with his empty one. Namjoon poured sparkling water in yours in lieu of the wine. You knew he knew you were lying about something, but he said nothing, still on emotionally shaky ground with you. You wondered if he had anticipated you staying the night to offer you alcohol.

When Siwoo had finished eating and all the pasta had been cleaned from the floor you put him down for a nap. It was cute how sleepy he always got after food and it was nearing his bedtime anyway, heavy eyelids drooping as he sipped on water.

The only evidence that Namjoon even had a child was Siwoo's bedroom, the rest of the house looked like it belonged to a bachelor. As you walked through the vast space you found yourself getting somewhat irrationally angry about the fact. No wonder that girl felt so comfortable here. You found yourself scowling when you sat back at the dining table.

"What?" Namjoon asked, sensing instantly the shift in your mood.

"Nothing."

"Liar."

"You're one to talk." You shot back. He sighed.

"Don't be like this just because Siwoo isn't here. Can't we keep being civil?"

"Fine." You mumbled.

He dished the food and you ate in stony silence. The sound of the cutlery scraping on the plates soon became deafening to you, grating on you and worsening your mood. Namjoon had asked you to be civil but that girl hadn't been to you, or to him for that matter and that was the only thing on your mind as you ate. The hormones raging through your body were certainly making you more quick to anger than usual.

"Is it okay?" Namjoon asked, pointing to your plate with a fork. "The food."

"Perfect, thank you." You replied. He looked crestfallen at your curt reply.

"Can we talk properly tonight jagi?" He asked.

"Don't call me that." Instantly you were transported back to the night when this mess started, the night you slept together for the first since breaking up. You'd had almost that exact exchange, although it was a playful one and didn't have the sombre atmosphere his kitchen had.

"All I really need is for you to listen." He sighed. "Can you do that for me?"

You owed it to him at least. "Alright."

He inhaled a deep breath before releasing it slowly, as if he was unsure where to begin. "I didn't cheat on you. I wasn't lying about that. If you take anything away from this conversation, please let it be that." His gaze was so intense you couldn't help but believe him.

"Did she kiss you that day?"

"Yeah." He looked down with a grimace. "I didn't initiate anything, she lunged at me. It was an attack."

"She called you Joonie."

That caught his attention and he looked at you in surprise, eyebrows shooting towards his hairline. "That bothered you?" You nodded.

"It didn't feel like a casual hookup, Namjoon. She seemed very familiar with you. She was in your home calling you what me - your wife - calls you." You voice got higher the more emotional you got, tears burning your eyes. Namjoon shushed you gently, telling you to calm down. "And then there was the other girl from the pictures. What do you do to these women to make them think this behaviour is ok?"

Namjoon gave you an infuriatingly blank look. "That was the girl I was papped with."

"No it wasn't." You sniffed.

"Baby," He huffed an incredulous but humourless laugh. "I promise you. Crazy girl from the photos is crazy girl that was here. Those pictures were dark, you probably just didn't recognise her."

"Why does she keep showing up?"

"We did hook up, but once a long time ago. I made the mistake of taking her home. I saw her once after that, but we didn't have sex. Other stuff happened, I won't lie."

You felt uncomfortable, hot, prickly jealousy constricting in your chest. "I don't need details."

"I don't really remember it to be honest. I was wasted." He explained further. "She turned out to be a big fan of mine and was - is - having a hard time dealing with the fact that I don't want her. That's it. That's the story. I swear."

You searched his eyes with your own for a few moments and he held your steely gaze.

"You could get a restraining order." You grumbled.

"They're not as easy to get as you think."

You crossed your arms and looked away. Although you believed every word he said you still weren't happy. Maybe it would take more than a conversation this time.

"Anything else you want to know, just ask." Namjoon told you softly. His hand twitched on the table and you could tell he wanted to reach for yours. "I'm an open book."

You knew exactly what was niggling at your conscious. "What else have you lied about?"

He paused for a moment and your heart dropped, anticipating the absolute worst. "I once jerked off to a picture of your feet."

Your scandalized expression was enough to have him laughing, easing some of the tension in the room. "I'm serious!" You scolded.

"So am I." He smirked and you rolled your eyes. "I'm sorry baby, I just wanted to see you smile."

"You're ridiculous."

He stood and walked round the table, taking your hand in his forcing you to stand. He pulled you into a hug and your arms automatically wrapped around his waist. "Am I forgiven?" He mumbled into your hair.

"No." You said but your body contradicted your words, melting even further in to him. "I'm still angry at you for lying and nearly dying of an overdose too. It's scary to think you can keep such things from me. I'm waiting for the next lie now Joonie."

He squeezed you tighter. "I understand, I do, but does a tiny part of you not see why I would hide those things from you? It was to stop you from getting hurt."

"I guess."  You know he has a point and you do feel better for having this talk with him but jumping back to fully trusting him feels frightening. You hate being vulnerable and right now, that's what you are.

"All I want is for us to be together, and whatever you need me to do to get us there, I'll do it." He said with strong conviction.

You surprised him by standing on your tiptoes and pecking his lips, his eyes remained open in shock. "You're a good man, Namjoon. I'm lucky I have you." He smiled. "But if you ever lie to me again, I swear to god I'm done."

"Never." He swore.

***

It took three more nights of intense conversations with Namjoon before your relationship started to return to normal. Getting everything out in the open was a little painful for your both but once everything that had happened during your separation was no longer shrouded in darkness, you felt better. You both did.

Namjoon had bravely opened up about how he struggled with pills and drugs. You'd learned he'd been partying a scary amount and that's where he met 'crazy girl'. Apparently she was a big party girl and drug user herself, which made sense, considering her erratic behaviour. She was an amateur model and had access to a lot of free drugs, so Namjoon was unfortunately drawn to her.

It wasn't exactly easy nor fun to hear about the women that he'd been with. It was with an embarrassed flush to his cheeks that he admitted a lot of his hook ups had been a blur of nameless faces. He wasn't proud of it, he'd never been a guy who fucked around, even before you met.

You were surprised to learn he'd spent time in rehab. Mostly it was just therapy but it allowed him to be in a better state mentally and therefore able to cope. Namjoon had got teary when you told him that you were proud of him. It wasn't easier to better yourself and succeed. He told you it was all for Siwoo and you understood that fierce protective desire completely.

During the third night, when you lay in Namjoon's bed, each on your side and facing each other you realised it was time to come clean about your secret now. You squeezed your entwined hands that lay on the pillow between your heads. "Namjoon, in the spirit of being honest...I need to tell you something."

"What is it jagi?" His brow furrowed at your tone.

You gulped. "I'm pregnant." He was silent and his expression never changed, which immediately worried you. "I'm sorry I didn't say anything sooner but I was going to do something cute by just giving you the sonogram instead of doing it in this lame way, but -

" - That's amazing." He interrupted your nervous rambling. A grin started to spread on his face.

"Really?" You asked cautiously.

"Are you joking? It's fucking great news!" He exclaimed. Namjoon let go of your hand and quickly placed his large palm on your lower stomach. "How far along?"

"Only 9 weeks." You playfully shoved his hand off of you. "You won't be able to feel anything yet." You laughed.

"I'm excited. I knew something was up when you weren't drinking and throwing up." He admitted. "It's going to be so different this time round. So much less stress and worry. We can actually enjoy your pregnancy."

"I'm excited that you're excited." You said. "I was scared to tell you. After everything we went through..."

"It's going to be different this time." He repeated. He kissed you passionately, lips crashing against yours as if he was trying to show you just how much he meant his words. Arms snaked around your torso as he held you close. "We're going to have two kids soon." He murmured. "Are you ready for this?"

"Nope." You laughed and he joined you. "But I wasn't ready the first time and we managed."

This time when he kissed you, you could feel him smile against your lips. "This feels like a dream. I'm so happy." He managed to get out in between presses of his mouth against yours. You were elated. "Can't wait to see you pregnant again."

"You mean, fat." You corrected.

"Noooo," He groaned, frustrated. "You looked so sexy when you were pregnant before." His hands slid underneath your shirt, along your stomach to cup and squeeze at your breasts. "You had big ass boobies." You can't help but laugh, he was like a horny teenager when it came to boobs. "Filled with milk for my baby."

His thumbs brushed against your nipples and you stiffened at the sensation. He kept repeating the action and you could feel a dull ache in your core at the sensation. "s'feels good." You murmured, trying to concentrate.

"Yeah?" He pulled back a little to gauge your expression. "Can I keep going?"

You nodded, appreciating the fact that he was asking for permission since you hadn't slept together since your argument. He peeled your shirt from your body and leaned down to plant kisses all over your breasts, thankful you weren't wearing a bra to bed. A dreamy sigh escaped you as your hands carded through his hair.

"D'you know what else I liked about you being pregnant?" He said huskily, still fondling you.

"Tell me." You had felt insecure at the time, and had been feeling it again after seeing the model you knew Namjoon had slept with. Some reassurance would be welcome.

"You were swollen in all the right places." The heel of his palm began to grind down slowly against your panties, having worn only those and a shirt to bed. Namjoon's lips wrapped around a nipple and your pussy pulsed in response. "The curve of your stomach, hips and ass was so fucking sexy."

"Really?"

"Mhmm," He hummed and your underwear was moved to the side. "It was sexy because you looked like a woman. Not just a hot girl." His fingers moved in slow circles against your clit and you feel yourself growing wet especially fast. "And you were off-limits to any other man than me. I put my baby in you and every other man could see it."

"Fuck, Joonie." You whimpered after he hit one particularly sensitive spot, hips jolting slightly. "I didn't know you had a pregnancy kink."

He smirked against your skin, his breath fanning across as he laughed a little. "Me neither, until I saw you."

Briefly he stopped to pull the remnants of your clothing off leaving you fully naked. "Namjoon?" You asked hesitantly, feeling shy. He hummed in response, sliding his fingers into your wet heat once more. Something had been playing on your mind this entire time. "That girl was beautiful."

He groaned. This time it wasn't a sexy groan. "Don't talk about her when I'm touching you like this."

"I keep thinking about her. She's prettier than me." You admitted. He stopped what he was doing, gripping the bottom of your chin, forcing you to face him when you tried to hide the fact that tears were welling in your eyes.

"She's nuts."

"You didn't disagree with me." You pouted. He sighed. "I'm feeling really insecure right now. I'm about to have another kid and my body is going to be wrecked, again. And girls like that are incessantly throwing themselves at you."

"I don't think she was prettier than you. And even if I did, who cares? She isn't beautiful where it counts. I just told you how sexy I think you are and you still don't believe me." He looked sad, it made you feel guilty.

"Sorry I'm being stupid." You mumbled.

"Don't be afraid to tell me when you're feeling like this, I don't want you to feel bad while I'm trying to make you feel good." He insisted. "Just remember that what I feel for you is so much more than how you look. But you're sexy, you're pretty, you're kind and you're an amazing mom. I'm so attracted to you that I'm still hard even through all this just because I'm near you and you're naked." He laughed, guiding your hand to his crotch for emphasis. He wasn't totally hard but that was an erection if you ever felt one.

"I love you so much." You told him sniffling. "Sorry for being a moodkiller. I'm hormonal and emotional right now."

"Tell me about it." He teased. "Can we carry on or are you out of it completely?"

You answered him with a kiss.

He took his time with you that night and you knew that extra effort came entirely from a place of pure, authentic and true love in his heart. Namjoon ate you out until you were a mess beneath him, able to coax two orgasms out of you before agonizingly pushing his stiff length into you.

Whispered praise in your ear made you feel desired in a way like you hadn't experienced before. He cradled you as he fucked into you, encouraging you to keep your legs wrapped around his waist, ankles locked around his lean body.

"Don't think I could never want you, especially like this." He breathed into your ear, slowly pounding into you. "You're the love of my life."

"Joon..." You moaned, tears stinging your eyes, leaking onto the pillow. You were too emotional right now for sex like this. "Please." You begged.

"Tell me you love me, tell me how good I'm making you feel." He commanded as his hips slapped into you faster this time. All you could think about was his bare skin against yours while you clung to him as if your life depended on it. Every drag of his cock inside you felt like you were made for him.

"I do, I love you so much." You moaned. "You're perfect. No one has ever made me feel like this."

When he came he groaned loud enough that you were certain he woke the sleeping child in the next room.

Your suspicions were confirmed when the pitter patter of tiny feet echoed down the hall. Namjoon leapt away from you so fast, he tangled himself in the sheets and fell over, emitting a loud curse word.

Once Siwoo had been successfully put back to bed (and escaping unscarred, having seen nothing a three year old shouldn't witness) you and Namjoon stifled silent giggles. "I guess I enjoyed that a little too much." He laughed, getting comfortable to sleep.

"Top 5?" You asked, climbing into bed beside him. It was a running joke between you about your favourite sexy time moments. You don't remember when it started and it's hard to remember every single time but there are definitely some stand out moments.

"Top 10." He yawned. "It would be higher up, but I hit my shin pretty hard when I tripped."

"I love you, you clumsy idiot." You whispered, kissing him on the nose.

"I love you too baby."

***

You loved how Siwoo looked in his father's arms. Really, you should gently remove him from the tight embrace Namjoon held him in so he could sleep properly but the sight of the two asleep on the sofa was turning you to mush. They both slept with their mouths hanging open in the exact same way, the only difference was Namjoon snored lightly.

You couldn't resist and snapped a few pictures.

As you watched them you were glad you couldn't move on whilst you were technically single. Even a small part of you regretted attempting to even be with anyone else when this was the only man you wanted right here.

You thought of Mark and the other two guys you'd dated and how empty you had felt, how you'd had to force feelings most of the time. Actions speak louder than words and the fact that neither of you had been able to get close to moving on spoke volumes.

Namjoon was home and always had been.

***

Early pregnancy was a lot more tiring than you remembered this time around. With Siwoo, you'd been relatively lucky and for the most part it had been smooth sailing. New baby was not giving you an easy ride. You'd convinced an overbearingly concerned Namjoon you were well enough to go for a walk but the five times he'd already asked if you were alright showed his worry.

His hand laced through yours as you strolled through a park near your home. It had a beautiful selection of cherry blossom trees, a long time favourite spot of yours. It was his suggestion to get some fresh air after morning sickness had claimed the first half of your day.

The occasional stray blossom petals floated through the air, giving the worn path a story book feel. Even though you weren't 100% you were glad you'd made the choice to go outside, the fresh air smelt sweet and calming.

"Jagi, I've been thinking." Namjoon announced, opting to sling an arm over your shoulder instead. You realised it was the first time he had ever been able to be affectionate with you in a public space. You leaned in closer to his side.

"Do tell."

"Let's have a wedding."

You looked up at him, perplexed. His gaze remained straight ahead. "We had one. You should remember, you were there."

"That wasn't a wedding, that was standing in an office." He corrected with a scoff. "What I'm trying to say is lets have a big celebration. One all our friends can come to. Would you like that?"

"Maybe? I don't know. I've never thought about it." You mused. "That could be fun."

"I thought it could be like an official fresh start. We never had the chance to do it like everyone else." He shrugged. "Only if you want to though, baby."

"I think I want to." You smiled. Namjoon hummed a good, squeezing your shoulder affectionately. You carried on in a comfortable silence.

"One more thing," He said after a few moments. "You need this back."

A hand slipped into his pocket and out came a small jewellery box. Without having to peek inside you already know what it contains. The ring you had given back in a fit of anger nearly a few weeks ago. He flicked the box open and offered it to you. "You're not going to get down on one knee?" You joked. He rolled his eyes.

Willingly you accepted it from him and put on the ring. "I had it cleaned for you."

You admired the silver that adorned your hand for a moment before handing him back the box. "Thank you."

The two of you didn't talk much more as you finished your route through the park. You didn't need to. Everything he'd done for you (and not just today) had said enough.

***

"Siwoo, I have told you to pick up these toys five times now!" You yelled down the hallway, exasperated by your seven year old's will to ignore simple instructions. After escaping the infamous terrible two's with him you noticed he was barrelling to being a defiant child. You raised your voice a lot more these days. "Don't make me tell you again!"

You knew it was futile by the distracted Yes Mom that he replied with. You instantly could tell he was either playing video games or on youtube, both his new favourite pass times. As you attempted to grab a ready made bottle, a loud smash came from the living room and you hurried through, worry clenching your chest.

"Oh baby girl..." You cooed once you'd noticed what had caused the noise. Your two year old, who was just figuring out that she could walk had accidentally smashed a picture frame when she'd tried to use the coffee table for balance. "I left you alone for half a second and you're trashing the place." You sighed to her.

Quickly you checked her over, ensuring she was unharmed. She was. Gently, you slung her over your hip, this time taking her to the kitchen with you. She struggled the entire time, eager to get back to her new found freedom of walking. However as soon as she realised she was getting fed, her mind was quickly changed.

The sound of Namjoon arriving home caught your attention. You were glad he was home. As much as you loved your children, an entire day alone with them was harder than any job you'd ever worked. You were still between nanny's and were picking the slack up yourself.

"There's my girls." You could hear the smile in his voice before you saw it. Namjoon reclined in the doorway, watching you and Eunha, an enamoured look on his face. He crossed the room, kissing her first on the cheek before meeting your lips in a peck. "Where's Siwoo?"

"Bedroom," You sighed. "Tell him to get his toys please." Namjoon nodded, able to read your frustration straight away as his phone and keys where placed on the kitchen counter. He left to do what you'd asked of him.

Once you'd managed to get Eunha down for bed, you joined Namjoon and Siwoo who were picking the toys up together. You picked up the smashed picture frame that you'd momentarily forgotten about, smiling at the image. It was an official photo from your 'second' wedding, you and your husband smiling like lovesick kids with Siwoo between you, looking adorable in his tiny suit.

It had been a wonderful day, being able to celebrate properly with your loved ones. The day had been a blur, but the best kind of blur; ending it with sore cheeks from smiling so much.

"What's that?"

Namjoon's question brought you back to the present. You flipped the picture frame round to show him it was broken. "Courtesy of Eunha on one of her missions."

"You look so pretty in that picture Jagiya." Namjoon stretched over and kissed your cheek. Neither of you missed how Siwoo's face screwed up in disgust at the sight of his parents kissing. A knowing smirk was shared between you and your husband.

"Thank you for that boop!" You kissed your son's head when he was finished the task. It was frightening how tall he was getting, you suspected he would be taller than Namjoon when he was older. He trudged back to his room grumbling about how he was too old to kiss his mom. You couldn't help but laugh.

Namjoon wrapped his arms around you as soon as you were alone, kissing you properly this time. "How was your day?" He asked quietly against your lips.

"Long." You sighed, resting your head on his chest. "You?"

"Busy."

Lately he had been putting in more and more hours at the recently expanded studio. Ever since Yoongi had started a family of his own they'd even hired an entire crew of people. Things couldn't be better for your husband's career and you were more than thankful how lucky the two of you had been.

His hand stroked the back of your hair lovingly. "The best part of my day is coming home." He yawned, holding you tight. You hummed in agreement, that was the highlight of your day as well. Ten years total together and that had never changed.

Not one moment was taken for granted anymore and when all was said and done, you knew you would be with him, always.

MASTERLIST

[aliceslantern]

Beyond this Existence: New Life, short 24--Unsettled

Recovery is a tedious, nonlinear process. Demyx, Ienzo, and the others living in Radiant Garden's castle have to learn to come to terms with their pasts and their memories, learn to grow, and begin to understand what, exactly, it means to be human. While there is unexpected joy in this, there is also unexpected sorrow. A series of oneshots set after Beyond this Existence.

Current short: “Unsettled.”  Troubled by the lack of purpose, Ienzo attempts to dispose of papers of the past, only to end up caught within it.

Read it on FF.net/ on AO3

---

Ienzo was feeling restless. This was not an unfamiliar feeling, but rather one that had snuck up on him with increasing frequency. He felt as if he were at his wit’s end.

The garden was done, finished, left behind were empty gaps that made him realize that after all this time he still wasn’t sure who he was. It was something like existential agony. He was exhausted, physically and mentally, yet sleep eluded him. So did any notion of rest. He found himself, again, missing the days when thoughts would unravel so cleanly; he felt nothing but tangles, and his feelings resembled even less.

I feel as though I’m back at square one, he wrote early one evening. This sensation stuck with him. What awful, horrifically boring waffling.   It certainly didn’t make him good company. Worse still than was that everyone else seemed to be in good spirits. He found himself dealing with another type of illusion; feigned laughter, a neutral expression, cheer and chatter where there should be none.

Not many seemed to notice this shift, and for this Ienzo was both incensed and grateful. Only Demyx did, but he was far too busy and exhausted from his own work (oh, to have the certainty of a calling); Ienzo just said that he was tired and that was all.

It did not feel good to lie to him.

But truthfully, how did he define this feeling? Was it the weight, the numbness of depression? He wasn’t so sure. Mostly, he felt the slickness of anxiety, like acid along his veins despite medication. He felt trapped within his own heart, within a remorse that was supposed to have eased. Would he carry this his whole life?

Did he want to?

Ienzo wanted to live more than anything. It was a desire that was nearly painful. He needed to get this feeling out of his body somehow.

“I don’t suppose you have anything you seek to get rid of?” he asked Even. “I was purging my papers in an attempt to get organized.”

“What are you disposing of?” He seemed distracted; he had a new project to keep him occupied, studying the long term impacts of darkness on trauma and the body. It was worthwhile work, and seemed to have reconnected Even with the real world.

“Nothing that hasn’t already been digitized and archived.”

Even gestured vaguely to a pile of file folders in a crate by the door. “I suppose you must need something to fill your days now, then.”

Ienzo paused, and just barely turned back. “That,” he said, “is putting it mildly.”

“Why don’t you continue your studies? It’s been a long enough time. They’ve kept you busy with such frippery.”

“...I would not call it that.”

He shrugged. “Most people your age seem to get caught in crises of existence. I should hate to see you become stagnant.”

Ienzo considered the irony of this. “I won’t--no less than you, anyway.”

Even scowled. “Go on then, will you? I need to concentrate.”

“Certainly.”

He took his papers to a courtyard, one shielded from the wind. What was left didn’t seem like much; Ansem had already shredded a majority of it, and the strings of paper sat heavily against the stone. For a moment he ran his thumb along the matchbox in his pocket. What was the point of this? He withdrew his hands and looked at them. It took a little bit of doing--magic was so much harder than it used to be--but before long he held a small flame in his palm. He studied the color of it, the bright red and orange. He picked up one of the pages and held a corner into his hand, watching it disappear into smoke.

It didn’t take long for the mess to burn. Curious, how quickly things could be destroyed. Ienzo watched the flames, perched on the lip of a derelict fountain. It didn’t make him feel much better, but it made him feel no worse. He nursed the brunt of a headache idly.

“...An attempt at catharsis?” He heard over his shoulder. Ienzo turned and saw Dilan facing him, his face alight with bemusement.

“I suppose. I figure there’s no need to keep this all, not when we have it in the computer.”

To his surprise, Dilan sat next to him. “Is it a pleasure to burn?”

Ienzo rolled his eyes at the reference. “Not quite. Good to know that I have some magic left, however small.” His head ached dryly, insistently. There were a few moments of silence; the fire cracked and popped a little, emitting some sparks. “You needn’t worry, I’ll clean up all the ash once it’s over.”

“...Saves me a bit of work. Yes. Our list of tasks seems to grow by the day.”

Ienzo glanced over to him. “...Does it?”

“Someone’s got to make this place habitable. And that committee is scattered enough as it is. I’d hoped Demyx’s membership in it would garner us some resources, but they seem to never have anything to spare.”

“...Well, town is growing. This place isn’t exactly a priority when we're the only ones who live here.”

“It was once beautiful,” Dilan said. “A shame, all of this finery, crumbling.”

Ienzo blinked quickly, feeling a touch dazed. “...Like so many things,” he mumbled.

“Are you alright?”

He forced a smile. “Oh, yes. Magic tires me. That’s all.”

“Are you certain? I know there was some--hesitation, as to whether or not to let you--”

“I am a grown man. Demyx and Even do not make decisions for me.” His tone came out sharp.

Dilan pursed his lips. “Of course you’re right.”

Ienzo shoved his hands back into his pockets, feeling cold now. “I’m sorry. I suppose I’m more tired than I thought.” The pain in his head throbbed in time with his pulse. “This has nearly burnt itself out. I'll get to it in a few hours when it's all cooled.”

“Nothing nearby to burn,” Dilan said. “It feels nice to sit, admittedly. I feel as though I haven’t stopped moving all morning.”

He stood, and had to fight not to stumble at the sudden wave of dizziness. He clutched his head, felt at the space under his nose. No blood. Surely there must be something else wrong with him?

He heard gravel crunch as Dilan stood. “Ienzo?”

“I’m fine,” he said, but it sounded weak. “It’s just a little--”

Abruptly, his knees gave out, his vision darkening for a moment. When he came to, Dilan’s jacket was under his head. “Yes, you’re just fine, aren’t you,” he spat. “Do you always feel this need to lie?”

Ienzo was still reeling. “You didn’t tell him, did you?”

“Someone has got to take a look at you, and he seems to know what he's doing. You’re not well.”

He tried to sit up, only to have Dilan ease him back down. “He’s going to kill me,” Ienzo said dazedly.

Dilan laughed. “Nothing like young love, is there? Ienzo? Ien--”

The smell of something bitter, and a touch of something cool on his cheek. “Oh thank god,” Ienzo heard. His eyelids felt leaden. “Can you hear me?”

“Yes…” He mumbled. He forced his eyes open. Demyx was crouched over him, one hand taking Ienzo’s pulse. He looked flushed; he must have ran here. The pain in his head was so intense as to be almost unnoticeable. “I… I’m sorry.”

“What did you do?” he asked.

“I… I cast one small fire spell… that’s all.”

Demyx rested a hand against his forehead. “You’re stable,” he told Ienzo. “It seems that the magic triggered a migraine--”

“Oh, is that all?” Ienzo muttered.

“When Dilan said you blacked out I--I figured…” He turned redder. “You’re going to be okay. Drink this.” He offered him a canteen. Whatever was inside was sour, and he flinched. “It’s for the pain.”

It did seem to help, but made everything a bit foggy. “Do you need help with him?” Dilan asked.

“No, I got it.”

Humiliation washed over him, and he felt his eyes water. “I can walk.”

Demyx hesitated. “Are you sure?”

“Yes… just let me--” He sat up, the dizziness worsening.

“Oh, no. Let me carry you. I’m sure you can do it, it’ll just suck major ass when you feel like this.”

“No,” he snapped. “No.”

Demyx blinked. “Ienzo--”

Something was unraveling, a hot stab of nausea almost making him double over.

“What’s wrong?” he asked.

Ienzo pressed a hand to his face, feeling the tears spill over against his will.

“Baby…” Demyx trailed off. “I knew something was wrong. I knew it.”

“...I shall… leave you some privacy,” Dilan said. “Call if you change your mind.”

Demyx pulled Ienzo close. He felt like he could barely breathe, clinging to him with a pathetic sort of desperation. Demyx stroked his hair. “What’s really going on?” He asked.

“Nothing,” Ienzo insisted. “That’s the issue, there’s nothing wrong and I still feel this way.”

He kissed his cheek and handed him a handkerchief.

“I feel… purposeless,” he said. “I don’t know what to do with myself. I’m lost… I’m so used to… moving forward, to having a goal.”

Demyx wiped a tear from Ienzo’s face. “Do you think this could also be some kind of sadness?”

He sniffled. He was a bit woozy. “How so?”

“It’s… weird,” he said slowly. “Maybe this is how you’re letting go of it.”

“By feeling like garbage?”

“You took on so much pain that wasn't yours. Mine, the Heartless'. It has to come out sometime. Using magic could've triggered it.”

Ienzo touched his chest with a trembling hand. “...You may be right. These emotions… didn’t feel connected to me.” Such strange permutation of power.

“Let it go,” Demyx said gently.

“Cry it out?” he asked bitterly.

“If you have to.” He sat and crossed his legs. “Come here.”

Humiliation broke through the weird cool stillness within him. He let himself be pulled close, breathing in Demyx’s smell and the scent of ash, water oozing down his cheeks. “It’s been months,” he hiccuped. “I haven’t the slightest idea why this is happening now.”

“You’re good at pushing things away.”

“Deluding myself, you mean?” He was trembling.

“Maybe you weren’t ready.”

For a moment anger nearly broke through him, but he deflated. “...Maybe not,” he conceded. “It is so… strange… I feel like I’ve made some leaps and bounds, and yet, my heart is so tender… infantile, if you will.” He hated the way he sounded, thick and poorly. A thin, sharp pain redoubled behind his eyes. “You know I used to feel them, when I was younger.”

“The victims?”

His body was leaden. “Yes. I could hear them, even when I was nowhere near the lab. For whatever reason, I always had an acute sensitivity to darkness. Is it because I was nearly one of them?”

Demyx’s arms around him tensed just the slightest. “...You were?”

“Yes. I never… told that story?” The tears continued to run, cool and distant. “They were… keenly interested in the hearts of children. And I was… there. You have to admit it’s quite utilitarian of them." The ache in his heart was lessening, bleeding out. "I think this connection is fading.”

“Good,” he said woodenly. “But they… they never--”

Ienzo took some of his own weight back. He shook his head. “We became Nobodies first.” He touched his chest, the space above his heart. “I suppose that in and of itself was an experiment.” He could taste salt, when he spoke. “The slightest twitch of power, and it all comes up,” he muttered. “I am so very… tired. Demyx?”

His jaw was clenched tightly. He grit his teeth.

“Don’t hold it against them. We’ve all done bad things in our lives.”

“Why aren’t you mad?”

“...I’ve spent enough time dwelling on it,” he said tiredly. “What good would anger do? They’re in pain as well.”

Demyx took a deep breath and closed his eyes for a moment. When he opened them, he seemed to have composed himself somewhat. “Do you want to go home?”

“There’s nothing I want more.”

---

It took a long while for the tears to stop and the ache to fade, but once it was all over he felt lighter. He figured that settled it. Time to stop feeling sorry for himself and move on. The past was the past; nothing left to be done. He would study, pull the pieces of himself back together one by one. And then whatever happened next. No point fretting about it. Easier said than done, Ienzo knew, but at the same time it was completely necessary. Once he was feeling more himself, he might work with the committee. One day.

But all there was was the present.

[aliencowboyqueen]

FIC: The Rules to Accidental Dating (1)

Pairing: Alex/Kyle

Summary: In which Kyle and Alex accidentally pretend-date their way to love.

Rating: Teen+

This one is for @alexmanes who fills my Dash with the good Kylex content.

CHAPTER 1

One morning, Kyle finds Alex standing at his door in his leather jacket with a frown on his face. Without a preamble, Alex says: "You don't look too hot today, Valenti. You should call sick to work."

"Thanks?" Kyle has been struggling with sleeping, and eating, and general self-care for the past few days. Ever since his encounter with Jesse Manes, which landed the older man in hospital. But he has been trying to follow the rules of general personal hygiene at least and he isn’t aware things are getting that bad.

Although it doesn't help that every day at work, he comes the near the man's room sooner or later. He watches the nurses flock to it. After all, Jesse Manes is the town's hero. Little do they know what a monster he is.

"No, I mean my brothers are visiting him today." Alex says 'him' with so much venom Kyle can practically taste how bitter it is in Alex's mouth. "All of them. You don't want to be there at the same time."

Kyle gulps. Alex is right. He has no interest in spending any time in the vicinity of the other Manes men. He knows all of them casually and they are all too much more their father's sons than Alex is.

And they can probably figure out who put their father in the hospital. Cold sets in Kyle's stomach. He is suddenly very grateful he has no surgeries scheduled for the day and that Alex actually caught him at home.

"Do you want to come in?" he asks. "We can lock the door and pretend your brothers don't want to see our corpses."

"I was going to stay at the cabin."

Kyle shakes his head. "It's too remote."

He watches Alex takes a breath.

"You thought about it, haven't you?" he prompts. "They'll want to rough you up at the very least. And Flint…"

"I can handle them," Alex interrupts.

"All of them?" Kyle knows Alex is good, but he is not that good. No one is. Real life is not an action movie, even if it has aliens in it. Alex on his own would perhaps be able to handle three random men off the street, but not three trained military men. Especially not ones with the advantage of knowing him well. "No. Instead of reenacting Home Alone with your family reunion, how about you stay here? Not even your brothers are dumb enough to invade the home of the local sheriff's son."

Alex hesitates. The desire to turn down the offer despite knowing it's sound logic is apparent in his eyes. "I can't keep running from them."

"Not your whole life," Kyle agrees. "But you can for today." He is already moving away from the doorway to let Alex through.

While he makes the phone call to work, putting on the most convincing fake cough, he watches Alex sit down. Alex doesn't make himself comfortable on the sofa. His shoulders are tense. He still has the jacket on. Though Kyle has to admit the jacket looks great on Alex, better than the usual plain shirts he's seen him wear recently, it's not exactly suitable for a day indoors.

"Take the jacket off," he says as soon as he ends the call. "What do you say, was I convincing? I didn't have to use the fake cough since college. And that'd been to fool a date, not medical staff."

Alex quirks his eyebrows up as he shrugs off the jacket. He moves efficiently and his gaze shifts away from Kyle during the action. "That awful a date?" he asks with a note of disbelief.

"Every once in a while someone in my family decides I'm going to die a bachelor and I end up on a series of blind dates with really nice people who want to be anywhere but on a date with me."

Alex's jaw clenches.

And Kyle remembers. Alex is not as lucky as Kyle is. His family doesn't well-meaningly bother him about his love life. The worst Kyle's relatives have ever done in regards to his romantic choices were a few mean words from his mother towards Liz's family. That and his father letting him date his sister's sister, but that's a thing Kyle has yet to process.

Meanwhile, Alex's father was beating Alex up for his orientation before Alex even knew what was happening with his hormones.

"I'm sorry," Kyle says, suddenly embarrassed. "I know it must sound…"

"Don't worry about it. Can I… Do you have a book I can borrow? I'd hate to get underfoot while you do whatever it is you do on a day off."

Normally, Kyle would spend much of a free day catching up on sleep. But with Alex here, that sounds like a silly idea. "You can't put me on a house arrest and then not entertain me!"

"I didn't put you on a house arrest."

"You came here and told me to stay put. Same thing."

A shadow of smile briefly visits Alex's face. "And you are keeping hostage. By that logic."

"Yes. Now entertain me."

They settle on Netflix and beer. They bicker over whether Kyle needs to watch Star Trek before a marathon of The Good Place wins them over instead. Kyle is only slightly embarrassed that Alex can see his Netflix List and he doesn't even impulsively lie about an ex-girlfriend who really loved romantic comedies.

Alex is stiff for the first few episodes. He sits on one end of the sofa, jacket folded on his lap, his back straight as if he'd frozen and would break if he tried to relax. He's like a wild animal in someone else's territory. Guarded. Waiting for an attack. Kyle thought they were doing better, but being in Kyle's space has reset Alex's buttons. He seems even more distant than when they first started cooperating on taking down government conspiracies.

It pains Kyle to see that this is the effect he has on the other man.

They used to be such good friends. And he thinks they are on their way there again but it might take longer than he thought.

And it's all his damn fault.

There are apologies on the tip of his tongue but he knows Alex wants to hear none of them. He wishes there was something for him to say to make it all better instantly, but no such magic words exit.

He doesn't realize he is staring at Alex and the tense line of his shoulders until Alex says: "You're going to burn a hole in the side of my head."

Kyle jumps up to his feet. "Um. I was just thinking… Do you want me to hang up your jacket?"

Alex gives him an unimpressed look. "It's weird for you to have me here," he observes even as he hands Kyle the garment.

"It's weird for me that you feel weird being here." Kyle sighs. "We… I remember what we were likes as kids." He has a vivid memory of Alex kneeling across from him on the floor of their tree house, the canopy of the tree a background to Alex's brilliant smile. "We were meant to be, I don't know, the sort of friends who… have keys to each other's places and invite themselves to the food in the fridge and have each other on speed dial for 3AM emergencies."

Alex considers him with his eyebrows lifted. "But then I just had to go and be gay, huh?"

"No, then I just had to go and be a jerk."

Alex startles, but afterwards he looks visibly more relaxed.

Maybe one day, Kyle will actually get it across that Alex's homosexuality is really not an issue for him, or an obstacle he has to overcome to be able to be friends with him. That he wants Alex in his life even when they're not ruining some extremist's plans.

It turns into an oddly pleasant day, for the fact that they are in hiding. For several episodes, Kyle barely remembers that aliens exist, that his half sister is back from death, that he put a man in coma, or that Alex's brother likely want to break a few bones in his body before shooting a hole in his head. For a few hours, he is just a guy hanging out with a friend. Sharing beer and later pizza delivered straight to the door.

Then he returns from a bathroom trip and finds Alex awkwardly standing in the middle of the room.

"I should get going."

"I was going to find you a blanket."

"I've overstayed my welcome as it is."

"The sofa folds out." And Kyle really, really doesn't want Alex to drive into the night. He doesn't want to go looking for him later only to discover his brothers found him first.

Alex's brows knit together. Then he puts his jacket on. "If I'm staying, I need to get my crutches from the car."

And with that, it's settled.

ooo ooo ooo

Kyle is eating cold pizza while Alex showers when the doorbell rings.

He looks through the peep hole cautiously before opening the door. The young woman behind it is a nurse from his hospital, whom he knows well enough to have shared a lunch a couple of times. He doesn't know her well enough for unannounced house calls. She is holding a thermo lunch bag.

"I heard you were sick. So I thought you might want…" she starts with the flustered boldness of someone who's finally found the object of their affection. But then she hesitates. "…soup."

Her expression transforms from sincere eagerness to suspicion. It takes barely a moment for Kyle to understand why.

The shower. His conveniently accessible shower, which Alex is currently occupying. It's loud.

Kyle remembers to cough. "That's very kind of you," he says, trying to put in as much sickness into his voice as he can manage. "I'll bring this back to you?" he adds and takes the bag away from her.

Just as he is about to say goodbye to her, he hears the clatter of shampoo bottles and Alex's cursing.

The nurse blushes, her eyes wide.

"Thank you for the soup," Kyle says before swiftly closing the door.

↳ Next Chapter

[starwitch3000]

What’s Your Story - 1

Pairing: Peter Quill x Reader 

Summary: After having a not so great couple of weeks the reader finds their way to The Milano a dive bar in NYC where they meet the owner Peter Quill

Warning: Drinking and language 

masterlist - ff.net

You were having a terrible day. Well, maybe more accurately, days plural. You were up for a promotion at work, you were currently an editor at an online news website, but your so called “in the bag” promotion your boss had promised was instead handed to some new guy they hired. You were bitter because you gave this job 3 whole years of your life and this was the thanks you got.

Another thing, your boyfriend of a year dumped you a couple of weeks ago because he got a job offer overseas and didn’t think you’d want to go with him, not that he asked. He also didn’t want to do a long distance relationship because he just wasn’t feeling it. So now he’s dead to you.

The list of tiny annoying day to day things just kept piling on your shoulders. Like someone taking your coffee order and having to pay for a new coffee because the barista didn’t believe you. Having your cab taken 4 separate times by 4 different people. Being sent an email by your boss asking why you weren’t in a meeting that you clearly were and participated in. Having your lunch being stolen from fridge in the break room and never getting your lunch bag back. Having to buy a new lunch bag.

With everything piling up things just became too much. That’s why you texted your best friend, Natasha Romanoff, to meet up for some drink at a bar near your apartment. She agreed and you headed out to make your way there. Your sour mood prompted you to walk and the fact that the bar you were heading to, The Milano, was only a couple blocks away.

You made it to the bar and headed in. It was a Friday night so you were a little surprised to see that the place wasn’t too terribly packed. Though you had to admit this place was a little run down and the people that were there looked a little sketchy. This is New York after all so who were you to judge.

You headed up to the bar and took a seat at it. You pulled out your phone while you waited for the bartender to finish up the customer he was already with and to check and see if Natasha had sent you an update.

She had.

Not a good one.

Work called have to bail. I’m so sorry you know I’d be there if it weren’t important. xx

Frowning at your phone you hadn’t realized the bartender approached you or that he was talking to you.

“Hello?” he whistled waving his hand slightly in front of you, “you’re not deaf are you? Cause if you are then you’re totally making me feel like an asshole right now.”

“Huh?” snapping out of the pity party going on in your head you looked up at the bartender. He was a tall, well built man with dark blonde hair and green eye. He looked stupidly handsome and you couldn’t help but stare. He tossed the towel in his hands over his shoulder as he raised an eyebrow at you. You coughed wishing you could sink into the floor and disappear out of embarrassment,  “Sorry?”

“What can I get ya?” He repeated with a kind but snarky smile. He totally noticed you gawking at him that asshole.

Well Nat left you hanging but you were already here so why not, “Whisky neat cheapest you got.”  

With a bit of flare he tossed your glass into the air catching before setting it on the counter to pour your drink, “Here you are,” He slides the glass over to you with a charming smile, “enjoy.”

Show off.

You gave him a pressed smile and lifted the glass in thanks as he went to take care of a new customer. Taking a sip you looked down at your phone unlocking it to Natasha message.

No worries. Call me when you can. xx

You sent her a quick reply just so she knew you weren’t mad, disappointed sure but not mad, you knew how seriously she took her work. You wish you felt the same honestly, but this past week at work had you reconsidering what you actually wanted from your job. Sure it paid well enough and you had been there long enough to be on the company's insurance plan, but that was about it. You landed that editing job straight out of college and you were so proud of that for so long. Maybe your pride had hidden what you really wanted to achieve.

“So what’s your story?”

Pulled from your thoughts you tighten your grip on your phone and looked up to see the bartender had made his way back towards your end of the bar where you sat alone.

“Excuse me?” You asked confused.

“What’s your story?” He asks again, “What brings someone like you to The Milano alone on a Friday night?”

“I’m sorry, someone like me?”

“No offense ma’am but you don’t exactly fit the demographic of this bar,” he shrugged as you both took a glance around at the other patrons of the establishment. You found he was not wrong. Most of the people looked like they were criminals. Covered in scars and tattoos with permanent scowls on their faces.

“I don’t know what you’re talking about,” Taking another sip of your drink, “I think I fit in perfectly here.”

He snorted, “Right. I guess you are just as brooding as the rest of these chumps.”

“What is that supposed to mean?” you scoffed offended.

“Walking in here with a look on your face that says “I’m thinking about murder” and sitting all by yourself nursing a whisky,” He explains then nods to himself, “No you’re absolutely right you fit right in.”

“Huh,” you breathed loosening your phone from your grip and set it down next to your glass. You processed his words for a moment, it makes you wonder if he was checking you out when you first arrived, looking up at him he seemed to be doing that. His head slightly tilted and eyes slightly darkened as his eyes traced your face. Biting your lip you asked, “I really look like I’m thinking about murder?”

“You telling me you’re not?”

“No, but to be fair I have been tossing around the idea of some light arson so that could be what you’re picking up.”

“Arson?” His eyebrow cocked up intrigued, “alright now you’ve got my attention. Let’s hear all about this.”

You snorted as if you hadn’t already had his attention, “You really want to stand here and talk to me?”

“Well if I’m being honest this place is a little slow tonight and unless a bachelorette party comes stumbling through those doors you’re the most interesting person I can be talking to right now,” He explains.

You laughed and shook your head, “Dunno, that guy seems pretty interesting,” You nodded your head to only other guy actually sitting all the way at the other end of the bar. He was hunched over in his seat picking at the label on his beer as he intensely read the subtitles of the movie playing on one of the tv on the wall, “maybe you should find out what his story is.”

“Nah that’s just Kraglin I’ve known him forever,” He explained playing with the towel in his hand, “You however mentioned arson and I would like to hear all about it. What do you want to set on fire the most?”

Rolling your eyes you decided to play along, “Do I have to pick just one thing?”

He gasped, “A serial arsonist. This just keeps getting better. Let’s start with the one thing you want to burn the most. Like if you could set this fire right now what would it be?”

“Okay,” you let out a long breath and thought it over. What to burn first, “Probably my bosses office - wait no, my ex.”

“Work trouble and love trouble? That’s a nasty duo.”

“Yeah well my boyfriend dumped me for a job overseas. He’s going to be some regional manager for whatever doing whatever in Turkey. He didn’t want me to move with him so he just ended things,” you explained bitterly.

“How long were you guys together?”

“Little over a year.”

“Geeze,” He hisses in sympathy, “Did you guys even talk about it?”

“Nope,” you said popping the p, “He just decided for me that I wasn’t going to move with him.”

“Would you?”

“If he asked me?”

“Yeah.”

“Yeah I think I would have. We were together for so long I thought we were good. If he asked me I probably wouldn’t have given it a second thought,” you answered hating yourself slightly for all the time wasted on him.

“What about if he walked into this bar right now and asked you?” He asked.

“I’d kick him straight in the nuts,” you immediately answered.

“I don’t think I like how quick that response was,” He grimaced, “Yikes. Now what about your boss?”

“Well,” you sighed, “I usually don’t have any issues at work but recently I was up for a promotion and he told me that the job was basically mine they just had to do other interviews so that the higher ups didn’t think it was favoritism or whatever.”

“What do you do?”

“I’m an editor for an online news outlet. Been there for like 3 years now.”

He nodded and let you continue.

“So they had a couple of interviews and decided to give the job to one of those guys and not me. I asked my boss why and he said that this guy was much more qualified for the position and he figured I wouldn’t care so much anyways,” you finished feeling the same bitterness that you felt when you had left your bosses office after being turned down from the promotion.

“That’s shitty,” He sighed, “What a dick man.”

“Tell me about it,” you rolled your eyes taking a drink.

“Ay Pete, hand me another beer would ya,” Kraglin from the other end of the bar interrupted waving his now empty bottle toward the bartender, Pete you guess.

“So that’s what brought you here?” He asked cracking a fresh beer open and sliding it down the bar towards Kraglin not breaking the flow of his conversation with you, “A deadbeat ex and a shithead employer?”

“I was actually meeting up with a friend,” you explained watching Kraglin nearly tip over the new beer over but saving it last minute, “but she canceled last minute because of work.”

“You want to set her office on fire too?” Pete asked preparing himself for another story.

You chuckled, “No, god no. She’s a detective usually when she gets called in like this there is usually a dead guy.”

“Oh,” he paused, “well shit. Better be careful with all this crime you’re about to commit. Don’t worry I wont tell.”

“Gee thanks stranger,” you teased causing him to laugh.

“It’s Peter actually. Peter Quill owner of this fine establishment,” He declared gesturing around the bar.

“Fine establishment?” You questioned, “Weren’t you the one saying this place was running slow on a Friday night?”

“What is that supposed to mean?” Peter gasped in mock offense, “Is the not New York, the city that always sleeps?”

“Not sure that’s how it goes Pete,” You shook your head sympathetically.

“Pretty sure that’s exactly how it goes.”

“Whatever you say man. I’m (Y/N) by the way. (Y/N) (Y/L/N),” you smiled, “Now you’ve got a name to give the cops when you go to snitch on me.”

“Okay first of all, I would never snitch. Have you seen the people in this bar? They would eat me alive if I was some kind of snitch. Secondly, I am one hundred percent sure that’s a fake name now, but I’ll call you (Y/N) anyways,” dramatically he put air quotes around your name when he spoke.

“Anyone ever tell you that you’re dramatic as hell Pete?” You asked with a smile.

“No not even once,” he frowned, “alright maybe a couple of times, but that’s not the point.”

“And what’s the point?”

“I feel for you man,” He said sincerely, “getting dumped fucking sucks and then not getting a dream job on top of that? It’s rough.”

“Well I wouldn’t call it a dream job,” you said thinking it over, “Just a different job. Rising through the ranks. Getting better pay. Got any pretzels?”

“What’s your dream job then?” He asked reached over for a bowl of pretzels on the bar handing them to you.

You thought over his question for a minute while snacking on a pretzel. What was your dream job? You were an English major for a reason, because your passion growing up was writing. You used to write all the time what happened? This job that’s what happened.

You sighed knowing exactly what your dream job was but also knowing that it’s nearly impossible to get where you want to be.

“(Y/N)? Did I lose you?” Peter questioned and you looked up to meet his gaze.

“Sorry, no, just thinking it over,” you apologized.

“And?”

“What?”

He sighed exasperated, “what’s the dream job haunting your dreams?”

You rolled your eyes, “I guess I’ve always wanted to be a writer. And not some shitty news writer. Like my own stories. Put my own thoughts and opinions on paper and see who picks it up you know?”

“So what’s stopping you?” Peter blinks watching your face carefully.

Squirming under his gaze you suddenly felt the pressure, “Me I guess. I don’t know where to start or if I’m any good. I’m just paralyzed by my own fear of failure and it makes me want to stay where I am and just blend in for the rest of my life. Always having opportunities placed in front of me but never getting to experience them.”

“That is a load of bullshit,” he scoffed.  

“Excuse me?”

“You heard me. I think that is all a bunch of bullshit,” He repeated a little harshly.

“And what gives you the right to say that? You barely even know me!” you jumped feeling overwhelmed by his confrontation.

“Sure I do your ex is a douche, your best friend is a cop and your name is probably not (Y/N),” He shrugged, “That’s pretty much everything.”

Baffled you shook your head, “I don’t really think it is.”

“Well,” He started placing his hands on the edge of the bar leaning forward, “It’s plenty enough for me to know that you’re going to be miserable if you keep doing what you’re doing because guess what, you already are.”

“I’m not miserable,” You interrupted, “I’m just having a bad week!”

“Who is the bartender here and who is the girl drinking by herself?”

You refused to answer.

Smugly he continued, “This is my job honey, I know people, even when they don’t want me to. And right now I know that you are stuck not because you’re afraid of failing. You’re afraid of wasting your time and you wont accept that you already have. You wasted a year with some dickwad who didn’t care enough to get your opinion on your relationship together. You’ve wasted your time working for some assholes that don’t recognize your desire to achieve more. It’s time to pull your head out of your ass and take something that you want.”

You hated it. You hated every single word that left his mouth. You hated the way he said it. You hated how it sounded. Mostly you hated that it was all true.

“What the fuck dude?” You huffed feeling out of breath for him. Peter was proving to be extremely long winded.

“Am I wrong?”

“Well no, obviously, but can’t you just let a girl wallow in self pity for an evening?” you question, “Geeze.”

He rolled his eyes standing up straight again, “You’re way too pretty for that sweetheart.”

“Great. Good to know. Next time I just want to drink and feel sad I’ll just stay at home then,” you nodded to yourself looking at the remainder of your drink in your glass.

“Sorry didn’t mean to overstep my boundaries, “He sighed, “but this bar is my life, even though some of us here are unimpressed by that,” he shot you a cocky wink, “and if someone hadn’t told me to get my head out of my ass and do something I love then we wouldn’t be here today.”

“And who was that?”

“Well my mom always told me to do what I love but after she passed away it was my foster dad that was always telling me to get my head out of my ass,” He explained.

“I’m sorry to hear that.”

“Not it was for good reason,” He said, “I was a shithead.”

You scoffed and rolled your eyes “was”, “I meant about your mom passing. I’m sorry to hear that. My mom passed away too when I was younger.”

His lips pressed into a line and he nodded looking at the surface of the bar, “It sucks.”

You nodded in agreement settling into a silence. Loss was something you both seemed all too familiar with. You had noticed that he had said foster dad and not his dad but you didn’t want to bring up two intrusive topics in a row. Things felt a little too personal and that’s saying a lot seeing as you just told a random stranger all your most recent problems. It’s clearly something he’s used to him being a bartender and all. People must come in here and bare their souls to him all the time.

The sound of your cell phone buzzing made both of you jump. You picked it up to see Natasha picture flashing across the screen. A wave of confusion and mild panic hit you.

“Sorry hang on,” you told Peter and answered her call never knowing when it could be an emergency, “hey what’s up?”

Through the phone all you hear is her aggravated sigh, “Just got finished dealing with a bunch of teenagers who thought it would be funny to prank call some detectives about fake homicide. They didn’t even use burners to hide their identities or anything but were oh so shocked that they got caught.”

“That awful. What’s going to happen to those kids?” you asked biting your lip listening to your friend.

“Don’t know probably community service. I’ve been dealing with hysterical parents for the last hour. They’ve got court dates and the judge will decide the rest,” she sighed through the phone, “In the meantime I am free again and really want some extra cheesy pizza from Romeo’s, want to come over and yell at each other?”       

“Wow,” you replied, “you really know a way to girls heart don’t you.”

“What can I say? I’m a gifted individual now come on over and I can show you more of my talents,” She teased.

“You gotta stop it with the dirty talk babe I’m in public,” you said causing Peter to laugh.

“Where are you?” Natasha dropped the teasing tone instantly curious, “Is that a guy?”

“The Milano,” you chose to only answer her first question.

“Seriously? You still went?”

“I was already here when you bailed,” you explained, “figured I’m already out might as well get what I came for.”

“Is that place any good? I know we’ve been meaning to check it out and tonight would have been that night if not for, you know, teenagers,” the bitterness of her tone did not go unnoticed.

“Eh, it’s alright,” your unimpressed tone was purely for Peter listening to just one side of this conversation, “It’s kind of dirty but they’ve got pretzels.”

You grinned as you earned a glare from Peter.

“Hot guy I hear ya,” Natasha murmured understanding the context of a situation she wasn’t even a part of, “tell me scale of one to ten where is he?”

“Eh, maybe like a three,” you replied loving the baffled looks you were getting from Peter seeing as he thought you were still talking about his bar.

“Shit really?” reading way more into your reply than you had intended, “look if you need to bail in order to get some I will not blame you.”

“Nah it’s not like that.”

“Oh really?” she questioned, “or are you just saying that because he’s standing right in front of you and you too scared to admit you want to jump on him and ride him till sunrise?”

If not for the little bit of alcohol in your system you would probably turn beat red hearing your friend say this while you stare directly at the man in question. You bit your lip considering it, “No I’m pretty sure it’s just because you enticed me pizza and now I’m going to hold you to that.”

Natasha laughed, “Alright I’ll order it now see you in a bit.”

“See you,” you smiled and hung up the phone.

“Someone have a hot date?” Peter asked sounding slightly disappointed.

“Yeah sorry to leave you like this,” you grabbed your wallet out of your purse only to look up and see his pout, “really? Pouting? Is that how you get all of your regulars?”

“It worked on Kraglin,” He shrugged dropping the pout.

“Sorry I’m just not that kind of girl,” you took out some cash and paid for your drink, “the only way to keep me around is food and sorry but pizza trumps pretzels.”

He gasped in fake disbelief.

“I know. I’m sorry but I make the rules and that’s just how this one goes,” you shrugged and got out of you seat. For the first time all week you finally felt yourself settle into a good mood. It made you feel lighter. You smiled up at Peter, “Thanks for the talk. I really needed it.”

“Anytime,” He smiled softly, “You’ll know where I’ll be.”

With that you left and headed toward Natasha place anxiously anticipating some pizza.

chapter two

~

Alright chapter one stay tuned for more. Also sorry for any mistakes things can slip by when proof reading but if I don’t post this now I never will. So let me know what you think and I promise chapter two is on its way! ~Star

[kuro-gossips]

Splashes of Colour

Chapter 5: Shades of Yellow

Chapter 1 | Chapter 2 | Chapter 3 | Chapter 4

He's running down the cobblestone, but it doesn't feel fast enough to escape the reality of what has only just transpired. Newt abruptly halts, leaning on his knees, heaving for breath that doesn't seem to fill his lungs. A hand travels up to wipe the sweat that has gathered on his brow; it isn't until said limb jerks away a second later that he realizes he's crying. He wipes his eyes furiously with his coat sleeve. Newt has never been one to cry easily, but he cannot deny how energetic and relaxed his magic feels at this singular moment. There's such a morbid fascination forming in his mind and it's painful to acknowledge because this is the most alive he's felt in months, and yet he knows that eventually, he will have to process it. There isn't a better time to do it, especially while no one else is around, so he attempts to calm his breathing, slow his heart rate, and tries to sift through the information he's been presented with.

He wonders if his friends and family will still want anything to do with him once they find out that Grindelwald is his soulmate. He wonders if Theseus is obligated to tell the Ministry of said connection, since Grindelwald is Europe's most sought after Dark Wizard. Theseus has always been duty-bound, his sense of justice and his inherent need to abide the law causes Newt to worry. Newt knows that his older brother loves him, wants the best for him, but he also knows that what Theseus thinks is the best for him hardly ever agrees with his own standards of morality. The green-eyed wizard bites his lower lip in trepidation. He hates the Ministry -- he truly does -- their abhorrent methods of dealing with potential threats and problems unnerves him, like how they insisted on sending the world's cruelest beast hunter after a desperate young man, who only seeks a loving family. Newt intuitively understands that they will apply the same policies to his case as well -- Grindelwald spoke the truth in that regard. He continues to worry his lip, the skin growing red and vaguely bruised underneath the pressure of tenacious teeth.

He thinks about the Obscurial boy -- so young, but so frayed at the edges, worn down by the abuse of a woman who was supposed to look after him, to care for him, to nurture him -- Newt grieves at the thought of his upbringing. He thinks if the wizarding society were not forced into the underground and sworn to secrecy that such a scenario would have never arisen. At the same time, he realizes that most non-magical people are not so… accepting; Jacob may be an anomaly amongst them. He's seen their interactions with those with different skin colours, those of other romantic inclinations -- not to mention the Salem witch trials -- and he doubts that a union between the two communities could ever be peaceful. Maybe, just maybe, a strong and charismatic pioneer can usher in a new era with success. Queenie and Jacob would never be prosecuted for wanting to be together -- such backwards laws the Americans have enforced -- and Newt struggles to dissuade himself of Grindelwald's beliefs.

The redhead isn't quite sure he believes that his soulmate actually desires to change the world's outlook on magical creatures, even if he wishes from the bottom of his heart that those words were true. Despite the inner workings of his mind, he still can't shake the feeling that the older man spoke no lies. He wonders if a soulmate bond is sufficient to uncover spoken falsehoods -- it's something he has yet to come across in literature or old wives' tales. He wishes that he had the foresight to ask Theseus about the matter, but it's too late for that now. Newt finds himself hard-pressed not to believe the words that Grindelwald had spouted.

Somehow through all his ponderings, he ends up in a sparsely populated city square with a Wallace fountain in the middle. To his surprise, Newt finds his gaze meeting the equally surprised face of Queenie, who has just stepped out of the entrance to the French Ministry of Magic. The blonde rushes over, as quickly as her heels allow her to, and she envelopes him in a warm embrace. She seems overly distressed. The magizoologist still isn't one for physical contact, but he relaxes a tiny bit in her hug.

"Oh, Newt, honey, I'm so glad I bumped into you." She mutters. When she pulls back, her eyes shimmer with tears. Newt returns her look with a soft smile. "I've been so lost here, you know? Paris is a whole lot bigger than I thought. I've been looking for Tina… but well, you know the whole scuffle between us."

"Actually, I managed to find Tina, and Jacob is here with me as well." The female makes a happy noise at his statement, clapping her hands in excitement. "I think Tina has been searching for Credence here, but come to think of it, I don't think we're on particularly good terms right now…"

"You can be so oblivious, sweetie. I guess that's part of your charm though." Newt waits patiently for her explanation, blankly staring at the Legilimens. He has an idea about what she is hinting at, but Newt would rather Queenie state it plainly. The blonde gives a small sigh, but a fond smile graces her lips as she does, "She likes you, silly!"

The redhead feigns confusion, "I should hope that friends like each other…"

Queenie lets out a laugh that tinkles like bells. Her delicate hand pats the swell of his cheek. "I meant romantically, Newt."

A look of enlightenment crosses over his face and everything he's feared is confirmed: the letters, the constant invitations to return to New York, her inexplicable bitterness towards him since they've reunited in France. He knows Tina is a wonderful woman and any other man would  be lucky to have her as a significant other, but he simply can't return her affections because he's always had a predilection for men -- not to mention the Erumpent constantly on his mind: his soulmate. His cheeks flush and Queenie catches the tail end of his thoughts.

"... Oh, you don't feel the same way." He jerks back from her touch and he tries to dismiss all notions of soulmates from his mind as they are prone to surface whenever someone mentions any sort of romantic relationship, and this garners him a befuddled stare from the woman, the space between her brows furrowing. He avoids her gaze and shakes his head, not wanting to talk about it. She respects his decision, but she also can't help but wonder if Newt was saving himself for his soulmate despite the unlikeliness of actually meeting. She sends a shaky smile his way and attempts to dispel the awkward air. "Well, should we head off to rejoin my dear sister and Jacob?"

Newt's face is one of relief as he agrees. As they head back, black banners descend upon Paris, only visible to those with magic, and the two friends realize that it's Grindelwald's call to rally for his supporters. On the wall of a building nearby, he sees the image of a raven unfurl with a map to Père Lachaise Cemetery. Queenie and him exchange a look; there's no doubt in his mind that anyone who's important to the cause will be present. With Grindelwald's pursuit of Credence, Newt is sure the boy will be in attendance as well. The two race off to reconvene at Flamel's house.

***

Unfortunately for the portly Muggle baker, Newt has forgotten to pick up any food for the man in all the chaos. He is greeted by Jacob's disappointed face as he strides through the door -- an apology is on the tip of Newt's tongue -- but he visibly brightens at the sight of Queenie, cheeks straining with happiness. All thoughts of food leave his mind. The man is currently nursing a bump on his head, and Newt distinctly notices the lack of the man that had trapped them in the sewers earlier. The dark-skinned wizard must have escaped by taking Jacob by surprise. Queenie and Jacob embrace each other tightly -- eager to seek comfort -- and both looking like they want to cry.

"Jacob! Oh, honey, I'm so sorry. I never should've said those things. I love you so much--" Queenie starts.

The short man replies, "And you know I love you, right?"

Unfortunately, there are more pressing issues at hand, so Newt must regrettably interrupt. Green eyes glance around for the missing party in their reunion and Newt asks, "Sorry, but… where's Tina?"

Jacob fidgets a bit, seemingly nervous, "Oh, uh, she left shortly after you, Newt. Something about heading off to the Ministry."

The magizoologist looks thoughtful, like he's considering her reasoning for leaving so suddenly and abandoning Jacob to fend for himself while there was a wizard with unknown intentions on the premises. Queenie just appears to be worried for the safety of her sister, especially with Grindelwald's rally on the horizon. There's something incorporeal tugging at the corners of his mind, but Newt ignores it as he says, "Grindelwald is calling all his followers to the Lestrange Mausoleum tonight. If we hope to find Tina, I have no doubt she will be there looking for Credence."

The blonde witch shoots him a nervous glance. She's heard too many rumours about the terrible deeds of the Dark Lord's disciples -- she hopes Tina won't be there in the heat of things, but she also knows her sister all too well.

When darkness begins to descend upon Paris, the three of them head out.

***

To her surprise, Tina runs into Britain's Head Auror at the French Ministry and the two realize they have similar interests regarding Grindelwald and Credence. He introduces himself as Theseus Scamander, Newt's older brother in the flesh, and beside him is the pretty woman who she's been jealous of for months, Leta Lestrange. It bothers her that Leta is overtly "friendly" with her so-called fiancé's brother -- the hand delicately laying atop his bicep, the smitten doe eyes she turns on to Theseus -- she is disgusted that this woman has the guts to do something so horrendous to a sweet man like Newt. As if the dark-skinned woman can feel her hatred, her gaze swivels to meet Tina's, confusion sparkling in her rich brown eyes. The American snubs the other woman by ignoring her questioning look and focusing on Theseus. She doesn't like the man much either because he seems to accept Leta's affections without question, but at least he has something interesting to say.

The British wizard wears a more serious disposition as soon as he mentions Grindelwald, "Ms. Goldstein, I believe I know where Grindelwald and his following are going to be convening."

Tina raises a dark eyebrow, unsure of where the Auror received his intel from -- something that he is quick to notice and address.

"Leta found this note in place of the Lestrange family records at the Ministry archives." Theseus shows the parchment with the Deathly Hallows symbol -- Grindelwald's sigil -- atop of it and a brief message detailing that the document has been moved to Père Lachaise.

"Everyone seems to think that Credence is the lost son of the Lestrange family, is there any possibility there's some truth to--" The brunette begins asking, but an acerbic voice cuts through the conversation.

"No." The shorter woman's brows are furrowed in anger and she raps her clenched fist on his chest. "My brother is dead. He died."

Her fiancé places a comforting hand on her shoulder as he speaks, "I know, Leta." The former Slytherin swivels to face him, her hand gripping the sleeve of his jacket, knuckles white. "I know and the records-- the records will prove it. They can't lie."

"If that's the case, then who is he?" Tina thinks out loud, her voice quiet and unsure. Leta shakes her head and tells her that she doesn't know the answer to that question. "I never asked, but I assume Newt is probably here to track down Credence as well… He needs to know."

The American Auror wants to inform the other Scamander of many things, not just Credence's lack of identity as a Lestrange. Her focus is drawn back to reality as Theseus lets out a sound of surprise at her statement. In truth, he should have known that Newt would find a way around the international travel ban. "Newt is in Paris?"

"You didn't know?" Tina looks equally shocked when the other Scamander shakes his head.

"He's not even supposed to be traveling internationally. The Ministry banned him after the whole fiasco in New York."

"But-- but that wasn't even his fault!" The American witch is baffled and slightly outraged. Newt's brother gives a sound of agreement. From the raw emotions colouring her voice, Theseus concludes that Tina has some sort of romantic inclination towards his sibling. He blinks slowly as a thought crosses his mind: is she the reason Newt had been asking them about soulmates? If he had met his soulmate in New York, it might have made sense that he had felt weak from being so far apart. He exchanges a glance with his fiancée and instantly, he can tell that she's reached a similar conclusion.

"Well, in all honesty, I should have-- we should have seen this coming, don't you agree, Leta? Newt's never been one for rules."

Leta chuckles amusedly, her face smoothing out as she momentarily forgets the rumours about her dead brother. The engaged couple notice that Tina's furrowed brow at their bantering. The Lestrange witch has never been one to shy away from being upfront with things, so without hesitation, she asks, "Do you have an issue with something, Ms. Goldstein?"

Tina looks a little taken off-guard as she stutters, "Uh, no, not-- not at all..." Leta's insistent stare is enough for her to crack though. "It's just-- aren't you and Newt engaged? And-- and you're here blatantly flirting with his older brother!"

Theseus becomes affronted at her increasing volume, temper hot as usual, but his fiancée is quick to intervene before things spiral out of control. "Oh, no, I fear you've been mistaken. Newt and I aren't-- we've never been engaged. It's Theseus and I who are to wed. Newt is to be best man."

The American Auror's face reddens at the misunderstanding. She abashedly averts her gaze and mutters out an apology. Theseus is silently glad that Leta is his better half and isn't as quick to rise to a fight as he is because he knows if he was allowed to act freely, there might have been an international incident.

"You fancy him, don't you?" Leta slyly adds, a mischievous grin sliding over her face. Tina only gets more flushed at her accusation, but doesn't refute.

A couple of moments of silence pass, before it's broken by the older Scamander brother, "Well, I hate to get serious amidst all the teasing, but nighttime is falling and we should make our way towards Père Lachaise." He ushers the two females to go ahead without him; he still needs to organize his Aurors for the raid tonight.

***

Tina recognizes the man that had deceived her and trapped her in an underground passage when Leta and her walk through the entrance of the Lestrange tomb. She spots Credence and a thin Asian woman huddling in the corner, looking afraid at the wand pointed toward them. The pale woman is standing slightly in front of Credence, protective. They have arrived just in time, it seems.

"I do not wish to kill you, but if you insist on getting in the way, I will do what I must." Kama explains, "You see, either you die, Credence... or I do."

Leta hurriedly exclaims, "WAIT!"

A spell had been on the tip of Kama's tongue, but he halts and turns to face the newcomers. His features morph into shock. "Is that you? My sister?"

The aforementioned witch is confused, but she doesn't bat an eyelash at his question. "He is not who you think he is..." She seems pained to admit this.

"So, is it true? I am... Corvus Lestrange?" Credence tests the name out, but the dark-skinned female shakes her head.

"No, my brother is dead."

Kama stares at her, disbelievingly. "But it is like the Predictions of Tycho Dodonus said, 'a son cruelly banished, despair of the daughter, return, great avenger with wings from the water.' There--" The Senegalese man gestures towards Leta, before continuing on his tirade, "-- stands the despairing daughter. You are the winged raven returned from the sea, but I-- I am the avenger of my family's ruin."

Leta refuses to her anymore talk of Corvus and finally, she explodes with a despaired scream, "My brother is already dead! I killed him!"

Her sobs echo throughout the stone room as she reiterates how she switched infants on the sinking ship, only for her brother to be swept under the current and drown. The image of a babe clothed in a white sheet conjures and everyone watches as it slowly descends deeper into the ocean. Kama finally lowers his wand, looking dejected that he could not fulfill his promise to his late father.

Tina can see the desperation in Credence's eyes when he asks, "Then who am I if I am not Corvus Lestrange? Do you know?"

The Lestrange woman is astute and realizes his need for an identity, but she cannot provide the answer he seeks. The woman accompanying him gently strokes his back in comfort. In the fallout, the ominous scraping of a hidden door opening resounds throughout, garnering everyone's attention. They can all hear the booming of the masses gathering in the auditorium beneath them. Glances are exchanged between those present, before they cautiously descend the stairs.

The auditorium is filled with wizards and witches alike, from all different nationalities. The chatter is deafening. Somehow the group that had entered together split up and is now scattered across the mausoleum. Leta and Tina are still together, looking around, one of them anxious and the other worried.

"Teenie!" A cheerful voice calls to her over the gathered audience; it's Queenie, and Jacob is next to her. They're standing in one of the rows of benches, arms intertwined, right by the aisle of stairs leading down to the centre. Tina doesn't need Legilimency to know her sister is sorry for leaving so abruptly after their argument. "We thought we might find you here."

"Queenie." The elder Goldstein lets out a sigh of relief at the sight of her. The sisters embrace tightly, Jacob is tittering off on the side, his eyes darting back and forth between the magical folk. Leta smiles slightly at their reunion. "I don't suppose you've come with Newt, have you?"

"Oh, he was here... We lost track of him, but he's around somewhere..." Queenie trails off thoughtfully as she glances around, but she can't see their redheaded friend -- there's simply too many people. She takes notice of the dark-skinned witch standing awkwardly -- and somehow, still regal -- next to Tina. "Miss Lestrange, right? I'm Queenie, Teenie's sister. And this is Jacob."

Leta appears surprised at the introduction, but she greets the Legilimens and the Muggle cordially. Jacob jolts, suddenly remembering that he has friends surrounding him. He shakes the British woman's hand.

"Nice to meet you."

The four of them realize that there are a couple of wizards, probably part of Grindelwald's movement, eyeing them intently, dauntingly approaching them, and wordlessly pushing them into a row with others. They attempt to avoid the goons, but the group of brutish wizards have fenced them in, and now they have no choice but to step in line. Leta catches sight of Newt across the way, both of their eyes widening slightly. Newt is blocked in by some important-looking wizards and witches, unable to move.

The auditorium falls silent as footsteps echo throughout the mausoleum, each step with purpose and meaning. Grindelwald emerges from the darkness of a corridor. Applause and cheering slowly build up from the audience until the man reaches the stage. They quieten down again as he begins speaking, "My brothers, my sisters, my friends... The great gift of your applause is not for me." Sounds of disapproval emit from the crowd. "No, it is for yourselves."

"You came today because of a craving and a knowledge that the old ways serve us no longer. You come today because you crave something new, something different." The Dark Lord's voice is captivating, like a priest is at a sermon, "It is said that I hate Les Non-Magiques. The Muggles. The No-Maj. The Can't-Spells."

The crowd jeers and hisses, yelling obscenities about the non-magical, but the man at the centre of attention is quick to dispel their uproar.

"I do not hate them; I do not. For I do not fight out of hatred. I say that the Muggles are not lesser, but other. Not worthless, but of other value. Not disposable, but of a different disposition." A beat passes. "Magic blooms only in rare souls. It is granted to those who live for higher things. Oh, and what a world we could make, for all humanity. We who live for freedom--" Grindelwald stares pointedly at the magizoologist -- something that worries Leta to no end because the man is planning something -- before continuing, "-- for truth, and most importantly, for love."

Queenie lets out a soft noise and none of them are sure how to interpret it.

"While I was held captive by MACUSA, they spent hours each day for weeks, torturing me for information. What kind of 'good' or 'just' institution would do such barbaric things?"

Newt recalls those days with a sickening dread settling in his stomach. And yet, he did nothing to stop it either -- not that he could anyway.

Grindelwald lifts his arms, gesturing to the masses. "Things that they have previously claimed that I am not adverse to, that we are not adverse to. They are an institution built upon lies. MACUSA is not the only one, of course. All these Ministries around the world are alike. And yet, they are quick to insinuate that we are the ones in the wrong. I say, it is not we!"

The room erupts into loud agreement. Vinda appears behind him, carrying an ominous looking skull with a hookah attached to it. Grindelwald announces that he is going to share a vision he had seen of the future. The Dark Lord takes the proffered skull, inhales deeply, and breathes out a plume of smoke. The picture that is painted by the smoke is absolutely terrifying. It's a massacre. Dead bodies litter the ground and at the centre of the room, a hefty explosion shakes the ground. They all stare in horror. Murmurs break out.

"That is what we are fighting! Their arrogance, their lust for power, their savagery. How long before they turn their weapons against us?" His mismatched eyes glint in the dim lighting and he cautions the crowd, "Do not be alarmed. There are Aurors among us."

There is a wave of shocked gasps, people frantically looking at their neighbours, fearing that the enemy was close. "My brothers, step into the light. Join us."

Despite being on different sides of the amphitheatre, Newt, Tina, and Leta can see Theseus and his gaggle of Aurors begrudgingly move toward Grindelwald. They see the Head Auror say something to his team, but they are too far away to make sense of it. The man smirks. One of the younger wizards has his hand laying on top of where his wand is sheathed, a nervous tick giving away his anxiety. There is a young copper-haired woman standing in the front row, her eyes are narrowed in anger and the pale-haired man knows he can take advantage of the two of them.

"They have killed many of my followers, it is true. They have struck down many of their fellow witches and wizards for the simple crime of seeking the truth, for wanting freedom. Your anger -- your need for revenge -- is natural." The witch he had been eyeing moves to whip out her wand, but the Auror is ready, and the girl drops dead to the floor. Grindelwald makes a sound of despair as he stalks towards the fallen body. He kneels beside her, arranges her limbs, and strokes her hair, tucking a bright-coloured strand behind her rapidly cooling ear."My poor child."

He stands up from his position, striding back to the stage, and there is an undertone of rage when he speaks again, "Go! Go and spread the word that it was not we who committed such atrocious actions this night." The sound of Apparition thrums as wizards and witches disappear one after another. The British Aurors move on Theseus' command, ready to take the man by force. Grindelwald spins in a circle, muttering a spell, "Protego diabolica." Scorching blue flames emerge from his wand tip and many of those that remain flinch back from the heat.

"Aurors, join me in this circle. Pledge to me your eternal allegiance. Only here shall you know freedom, only here shall you know yourself. Join me... or die." The man states. He is pleased when he sees a couple of them run through the flames, unharmed. Vinda marches to join him in the circle, looking smug. The Dark Lord waves the Elder Wand as if he were conducting a symphony. Some of the Aurors that had come with Theseus try to Apparate, but just as they look like they are successful, streams of fire hit their bodies, ash trickling down. "Play by the rules, children."

There is a wicked grin stretching Grindelwald's lips. Krall attempts to walk through the flames, only to burn up with a screech of pain. Neither Grindelwald nor Rosier are surprised. Now, the only ones that are left are Newt, still standing too far from the rest of them, Tina, Leta, Queenie, Jacob, Theseus, Kama, Credence, and Nagini. Queenie seems mildly hypnotized by Grindelwald's words, but Jacob snaps her out of it with ease. Tina shoots him a grateful look. The flames continue to dance and spread, forcing many of them to retreat back. Credence struggles with his friend for a brief moment before he breaks away from her grasp and approaches Grindelwald. He stops just shy of the flaming circle.

"Credence, my boy." He gestures grandly with his arms spread wide open. "You know I have the answers you seek. Come with me and I will instill this knowledge upon you."

The Barebone teenager glances over his shoulder at Nagini, his one friend in this world, but the offer is too tempting. Finally, he takes the last couple of steps and passes through the flames without issue. Vinda takes his arm and Apparates. Newt and Tina stare at where he once stood, gazes heavy with sadness. Theseus jogs up to where the group is, spotting his brother a ways away.

"Newt..." Theseus whispers, perpetually worried for him; the same look is reflected back to him on his brother's face. Everyone's attention returns to the Dark Lord who has yet to leave. That smirk has not left his face and they eye him with varying degrees of distrust. The blue flames he has summoned surround them, crackling ferociously as the heat threatens to flay them alive. The older Scamander brother moves to join Newt, but a wall of fire interrupts his gait; he can see the look of glee that spreads over Grindelwald's face. Theseus realizes that Grindelwald has some ulterior motive regarding his sibling. His face conveys his horror and his blue eyes search frantically for a route to Newt.

"Mr. Scamander, do you think Dumbledore will mourn for you?" This question stirs everything into a frenzy, both in the mausoleum in Newt's mind.

"Newt! Grindelwald is up to something--!" Theseus warns, but before he can finish, the wizard has already Apparated next to Newt. The younger British man's head turns slowly, too slowly for Theseus' liking, to face the other. Newt's breath hitches in surprise at his soulmate's sudden appearance. Grindelwald isn't rough when he grabs his forearm -- dare he even say, gentle? -- the heat from his grip is comforting, familiar, and it takes all of Newt's willpower to resist leaning into the other's touch. When they are standing this close to each other, they can see opposing pupils dilate as a wave of pleasure washes over them and their breathing deepens in unison. A tear slides down the swell of Newt's cheek at the sensation. It is exhilarating to be in the same vicinity of each other and it's as if time has temporarily halted as they share a look that says more than words ever could. It's as if the Dark wizard knows exactly what effect such close proximity and physical contact has on the magizoologist, but he cannot deny how liberating it feels, how power courses through his veins like lightning. Lightning so similar to, yet completely different on so many levels, from the electricity that ran through him in New York a mere nine months ago. A shiver runs down the redhead's spine and his green eyes flutter shut for a second longer than he would have liked.

The moment is broken by Theseus' enraged yelling, a nasty snarl on his face, a hint of confusion at their mysterious exchange, "Get away from my brother, your narcissistic bastard! I swear if you hurt him--"

The older Scamander furiously slams spell after spell at the flames that barricade him in, completely in vain because every ounce of magic he shoots out is neutralized by them, as he tries to reach his sibling. Grindelwald doesn't even spare Theseus a glance, the corners of his mouth tilting upward as he maintains eye contact with the redhead in front of him.

"NEWT!" Theseus is terrified that he is going to watch him die in from of him and he won't have been able to do anything about it. His voice, brittle with emotion, is getting hoarser with every shout that escapes his mouth. He can hear a cacophony of other voices joining him in calling out to Newt. He is not the only one who cares for the magizoologist, after all.

"Run, Newt!" Tina screams from across the auditorium, horror abject across her face and desperate to grab his attention. She cannot lose him after coming so close to saving Credence, only for him to step through the fiery barrier. Leta's voice joins hers.

Leta yells, "No! Grindelwald, stop! Please--" Her voice breaks, the plead on the tip of her tongue. She almost wants to beg the Dark Lord to take her instead. Not Newt, anyone but him.

Grindelwald simply bares his teeth in an imitation of a smile at them. He brushes a strand of hair behind the freckled man's ear, caressing the others cheek in the process, before leaning into whisper in said ear, "What is your answer, Mr. Scamander? Did I lie to you?"

Newt feels mildly intoxicated when he feels the other's breath against his earlobe. He can't think straight, he can't remember anyone besides his soulmate, but he remembers what they had discussed only hours ago. He remembers the promises that Grindelwald made and his stipulations about the Ministry's abuse of power if they were to discover his intimate connection with the Dark Lord.

Newt hesitates briefly, swallowing down his fear and his tongue darts out to wet his lips, but he finally has a response for the man, "... No. No, you weren't lying." His free hand clasps at the smooth fingers of his soulmate and they both can feel their magic co-mingling and swelling in vigour now that Newt has accepted his fate, regardless of his reservations. The blue flames surge as a result of an increase of magical force, becoming even more wild and uncontrollable in nature. The azure fire obscures them from view of those left in the mausoleum. Grindelwald takes the opportunity to retreat back slightly and plant a solitary kiss on the younger's cheek -- merely a brush of lips. Newt lets out a shocked noise that turns into one of appreciation as he feels the thrum of power coursing through his body.

Gellert pulls back fully, hands interlaced with each other and Newt's glowing green eyes on him, The Dark Lord asks, "Shall we?" He takes care to dispel the protective spell before he Apparates the two of them out.

When the flames dissipate, there is no trace of the two that once stood there and screams of Newt's name echo in the empty amphitheatre.

[spootiliousrps]

Suspicious Nature Part 12

[Beginning] // [Previous] // [Next]

WARNING: Talk of Rape... Noncon... blood, violence, and a lot of smut...

Dean opened the door to Gabriel, holding a tray of food for them both. “Come on in,” he whispered, stepping to one side, “Cas is still asleep.”

Gabriel wrinkled his nose at the scent of the room but nodded, silently, moving into the room to set the tray down, collecting the dishes from the breakfast the day before.

Dean smiled softly. “I’m sure Cas would want to speak with you? Do you want to wait? You can go into the office if you like.” He offered softly.

Gabriel shook his head as he collected the clothes that were scattered about as well. “No… I need to get back to the kitchens.” He explained. “I’m sure Cas would prefer to sleep. He gets so little of it without his heats.” He admitted softly.

Dean nodded, “he’s saying he’s not sleeping well. And he’s still incredibly pale. I don’t know if he’s ill and just hiding it or if it’s his heat.” He admitted.

Gabriel paused at that, glancing towards his brother’s sleeping form before moving to Dean’s side. “The paleness is probably from the mix of infection, exercise and loss of blood.” He admitted. “All of which should make him exhausted. So I don’t know why he’s not sleeping well.” He added, thinking aloud. “It shouldn’t be his heat… Then again… I’ve heard that some Omega’s who have experience… some abuse in the past, have a hard time sleeping during heat.” He shrugged. “He seems like he’s not having much trouble now.” He pointed out as he watched the Omega. “I brought up some pretty hearty food that should help him feel a bit better. Beyond that, I would just make sure his bandages are being changed regularly. I don’t think there is much we can do about the sleeping issue.”

Dean nodded, “I- has he ever been abused?” He asked softly. “We tried a... position which affected him badly.” He said softly. “He’s only been sleeping well when I’ve basically scented him to sleep. I changed the bandages as he fell asleep and when he wakes I’ll do it again. I might let him bathe with the bandages off to let the wounds soak in just warm water.”

Gabriel gave a small scoff at the question. “I’m surprised he didn’t tell you about when he let you share his heat with you.” He pointed out before hesitating. He wasn’t sure Cas would be okay with Gabriel telling Dean about his past. Still… it was obvious Cas trusted the Alpha, even if he would never admit it. “Why don’t we move to the office and I’ll tell you about it?” He offered, not wanting to risk Cas overhearing the conversation.

Dean looked over at Cas one more time before leading Gabriel into the office. “He’s only told me that he’s had one heat.” He said softly. “I’m just trying to help him through it. He seems so overwhelmed.”

The smaller Omega nodded, taking a deep relieved breath now that they weren’t in the room. He gave a small nod moving to sink down into a chair. “One real one, anyways.” He acknowledged. “Our Father wasn’t the greatest person…” He sighed. “After Mother died giving birth to Cas he grew worse. He always hated Cas… I think he felt like he was to blame for her death.” He admitted before shrugging. “When Cas presented as an Omega, it was an excuse to finally be rid of him. Father sold Cas to the first person who would have him. A traveling merchant looking for cheap labor and a good fuck. We were both very young… I wasn’t really aware of the details behind Cas leaving but I knew something was up, so I went after him, got hired on by the Merchant’s wife.” He explained. “It wasn’t long after that Cas went into his first heat. The Merchant had sent his wife away the moment he started noticing the signs which meant I went with her. I didn’t know what to look for… I was the youngest before Cas came along. He never really told me the details of what happened…” He admitted, his own scent shifting to anger, bitter hate, sorrow, and a lot of shame. Gabriel was very good at hiding his scent for the most part but there were times that his emotions seeped through, usually when they were far too strong to contain. He lowered his gaze, but continued. “We came back about a week later and Cas was nowhere to be found, but I could smell him… The Alpha reeked of him. His wife didn’t say anything… didn’t /do/ anything… But she knew… she knew! He refused to say anything until I threatened him with a knife… I wasn’t much of a threat back then but… I got my point across. He finally told me, when he got his hands on me… taunted me with it. Apparently he had had his way with Cassie until he couldn’t move, couldn’t make a sound… Then when his heat was over he dumped him on the side of a road somewhere and never looked back.” Gabriel explained, voice cracking as he stared down at his hands. “When I was able to walk again I back tracked, searching for my brother but… It had been a few days… For all I knew he was dead… I started asking everyone I could find but… no one knew anything… Or they didn’t care enough. That kind of thing happens to Omegas all the time… What was another one?” He shrugged. “That’s when I found Hannah. A Beta who took in injured or abused Omegas. She had found Cas after two days of him abandoned in a ditch. She had managed to nurse him back to health… At least as much as she could.” He explained. “She took me to him… but…” He had to pause, fighting back tears as he shook his head. “It was bad Dean…” He admitted, glancing up at the Alpha and using his actual name for the first time. “I’ve never seen someone like that…” He sighed before continuing. “Hannah let us stay with her for a few months… I had to practically force Cas to eat and when he did he usually threw it all back up… There were a few suicide attempts as well but he was pretty weak physically so none of them actually worked, luckily.” He sighed. “Thats when Hannah suggested suppressants. She warned they could have some pretty bad side effects but they’d almost completely rid him of his heats and most would think him an Alpha. She said she didn’t recommend it to most because they could usually recover but Cas… Well… It was bad and thats putting it lightly.” He sighed. “So we started him on a regiment and things turned around pretty quickly… Soon enough we ended up here and Cas became a knight in your father’s army and I became his Omega… He… hasn’t had a heat since.” He finished, falling silent, gaze a bit glazed at the memories, lost in his own head.

Dean sighed and looked down at his lap. What has he done? He’d forced Cas into being off the suppressants, into having a heat. “I’m sorry.” Dean whispered after a long time. “I can’t change the past, and I know whatever I say about it will never be good enough.” He whispered. “I’m sorry I made him come off the suppressants. I should be making him go through his heat.” He kept his gaze low, not wanting to show how upset he was with himself to Gabriel. “I- is there any chance of him... regressing into the state of mind?” He asked softly. “Is there anything I can do to help him? Or would it be best if I... keep my distance?” He asked, finally looking up at Gabriel. “What I did was wrong, but... is there a way I can fix it?”

Gabriel gave a snort at the questions, shaking his head. “I don’t know.” He shrugged honestly. “I’ve looked for others who have gone through that sort of thing but… Well.. it’s a toss up… Some regress some don’t but… none of them are like Cas... None of them have done the things he has.” He offered, obviously extremely proud of his brother. “Helping him… I doubt it… I’ve been trying for years and get shut down faster than I can blink… As for keeping your distance… It’s too late for that. The damage is done. You back off now and you’re going to hurt him worse than if you didn’t… and I won’t hesitate to kill you, King or not.” Gabriel warned, giving him an even look. “There’s no ‘fixing’ anything… No fixing Cas, no fixing what you did… There’s only working with what you have now to try and make life less shitty.”

Dean nodded. “I don’t want to hurt him.” He said softly. “I just want to try and make his life... less shitty, as you say. We just need to let him know we’re there for him, so if he needs us, we’re there to help.” Dean said softly. “I know you don’t like me or trust me, but wouldn’t you prefer him to turn to an Alpha like me who he knows, than an old Alpha he doesn’t know.” Dean said softly. “We can try to help him not to regress, but we need to at least work together to be there for him.”

Gabriel arched a brow at that. “/We/ don’t need to let him know anything.” He pointed out. “He knows I’m here for him, leans on me to help when he needs it, knows I’m there for him because I have been his whole life.” He pointed out. “I’d prefer him to do what he’s comfortable with, which /was/ not turning to an Alpha at all, outside of his work.” He added, obviously blaming Dean for all the trouble. “As for the regression…” He hesitated. “I’m not opposed to working with you as long as Cas wants to put up with you.” He mumbled begrudgingly. “I never said I didn’t like you… but you’re right, I don’t trust you as far as I can through you and I’m a lot weaker than I look.” He huffed. “I’d do anything for Cas though…I owe him that and so much more.”

“As far as I’ve heard Gabriel, you don’t owe Cas anything. You’ve been helping him for years. With injuries or his... mini heats. You’ve protected him just as much as he’s protected you.” Dean said softly. “We can talk about it more once Cas’ heats finished and he... doesn’t /need/ me any longer. But until then, we should keep a close eye on him, is there anything I should be looking for, to see if he is starting to regress?” Dean asked softly. “I’m with him most of the day, I can look for signs.” He offered. “You can see I’m helping with his wounds, allow me to help with this.l

“I dunno.” Gabriel admitted with a shrug. “From what I understand there isn’t any sure signs of regression to look out for… I think everyone might be different and Cas… he’s definitely unique.” He sighed in defeat. “I would just keep an eye out for any odd behaviors.” He offered. “Aside from that I’m at as much of a loss as you are.”

Dean nodded. “If I see any odd behaviours I’ll make sure I call for you and tell you as soon as possible.” He promised. “Should we tell him about the regression possibilities? I don’t want to add to worries. But he does have a right to know, he could look out for it in himself.” Dean said softly. “We’ll help Cas, and if that means stepping away from him, I will.”

Gabriel considered it a moment. “I don’t think thats a good idea. Cas is… well he’s very prideful.” Gabriel sighed. “I’m sure if we brought it up his reaction would be pretty fierce.” He admitted. “Maybe it’s best we don’t let him know we talked about his at all?” He offered. “The last thing I need his him mad at me again.”

Dean nodded, “of course Gabriel. Whatever you believe is best for him. You know him better than I.” He said softly. “I trust your opinion on what would be best for him.”

Gabriel arched a brow in surprise at that. “Wow… You’ve change a bit since I met you in the barracks.” He mused. “No threats or anything.” He teased.

“I’m just trying to be a better Alpha.” Dean said softly. “Stop using my power and position to get what I want. I want to be a good, fair King, and that starts with being good and fair to the people around me.” Dean explained.

Gabriel eyed him suspiciously for a moment before he seemed he was about to say something in return. “Dean?” Cas’ groggy voice came from where he stood, blanket wrapped around him, gaze still half closed with sleep. “Where did you-” Cas began to ask before his eyes caught on the other Omega. “Oh… Hi Gabriel.” He mumbled. “Is it time for breakfast already?” He hummed, obviously still out of it as he leaned on the door frame. “Hey Cassie.” Gabe greeted with a soft smile, suspicion fading from his features quickly at the sight of his brother. “Yeah… You hungry?” “Mmm… Maybe after drills.” Cas replied, making Gabriel’s smile fade with worry. The Omega obviously was out of it enough to forget he wasn’t in command of his soldiers anymore. “You should get him back to bed.” Gabriel mumbled toward the King as he collected the dishes from dinner the night before.

Dean nodded and held his hand out to Gabriel. “Thank you for speaking with me.” He said softly. “Cas, why don’t we take another five minutes in bed? Drills can wait for the moment.” He smiled at the Omega. “We need to change your bandages first though, before you start trying to drill others.” He said softly.

Gabriel nodded, shaking the Alpha’s hand before heading out. Cas gave a disappointed hum at Dean’s words until he drew close and the Omega returned the smile, a hand going to rest on Dean’s chest. “How about I drill you instead?” He teased, softly, leaning against him with a yawn. “So gross…” Gabriel grumbled under his voice before shutting the door behind him.

“After we have break and a bathe.” Dean said softly, leading Cas into the bedroom. “Shall we have a bath, and we can eat breakfast in there.” He offered, kissing Cas softly.

Cas gave a small yawn. “I rather go back to sleep.” He admitted softly, looking about as tired as he felt.

Dean frowned. “You’ve been asleep all night. We need to change your bandages.” He said softly. “Let’s have a bath together then we can go back asleep. How are you feeling in your heat?” Dean asked softly.

Cas gave a small shrug before hissing a breath at the pain it caused. “Fine.” He mumbled softly, hand going to his shoulder. He was healing quickly enough that he occasionally forgot about the wound but it was still there, reminding him when need be. “Another wave hasn’t hit yet.” He offered, turning to head towards the bathroom.

Dean nodded softly. “Do you know where you are, Cas? Do you know what job you have?” He asked as he led Cas into the bathroom.

Cas scoffed at that, such a stupid question. "I am Knight Com-" He blinked and frowned, disappointment suddenly strong in his scent. "Right... sorry. Yes... Royal Aide." He nodded. "Still waking up a bit... sorry."He offered with what he hoped was a reassuring smile.

Dean frowned but gave Cas a kiss on his forehead. “It’s okay, it’s probably just your heat.” He said softly, trying to sound convincing. He started to run the bath before wrapping his arms back around Cas. “What can you remember from last night?”

“Everything, I think.” He replied, leaning into the touch. “The wave… your office… then…” He flushed a bit. “How are you feeling? Are you sore? Was I too rough?” He asked, pulling back to study him, brows furrowed in worry.

“No no I’m fine. It was great.” Dean said softly. “Did you like it? You almost seemed overwhelmed.”

“It was… a lot.” He acknowledged. “But yes. It was incredible I never… I never realized sex could feel that way.” He admitted, flushing deeply with embarrassment.

Dean smiled “it was incredible.” He turned off the bath and held his hand to help Cas in. “If you climb in, I’ll take off your bandages and let your wounds soak.” He said softly. “How are you feeling today?”

Cas nodded moving to sink into the warm water with a pleased sigh, head falling back against the rim. “Fine.” He replied. “Should still hurts when I move it, but the other wounds have stopped aching quite so badly.” He offered, glancing at the Alpha. “I’m just tired. I feel like I’m more tired now that I’ve gotten a bit of sleep then I was before.” He shifted to allow his arms to sink into the water. “What about you? Have you slept?”

“I slept all night.” Dean nodded as he started to take off Cas’ bandages. “I’ll go fetch our breakfast will you get warm in there.” He hummed. “You’re probably tired because it’s all catching up on you. You can sleep more once we’re out of the bath.” He promised.

Cas gave a hum, nodding along with the words as Dean worked, letting his eyes close once more. “Not really hungry.” He admitted softly, with another yawn.

“Come on Cas, just eat something for me and Gabriel.” Dean said softly. “I know you’re tired but you still need to eat something.”

The Omega gave a huff but nodded. “Fine.” He grumbled before pausing. “Is that why he was here? To check up on me?” He asked curiously, obviously concerned that he was worrying his brother.

“No no, he was bringing us breakfast.” Dean said softly. He kissed Cas’ cheek before going to fetch their tray of breakfast. He brought it back into the bathroom and sat it on the side.

“Dean…” Cas sighed as he watched the Alpha move about, trying to care for him. “You don’t have to wait on me hand and foot, I’m sure I can manage.” He reassured.  

“But what if I want to do this?” Dean asked softly. “I know you can manage, I don’t dispute that, but I want to help you Cas. Will you allow me?” Cas gave a small chuckle at that. "Spoiling me is not 'helping' me." He teased. "But I wont stop you I'd you enjoy it." “I definitely enjoy it.” Dean smiled. “Do you want some fruit or pastry?” He asked softly, before putting a strawberry in his mouth. "Fruit." Cas nodded, shifting to hold out his hand for one. "Are you going to join me in here?" He asked, leaning his chin on his arm, lazily. Dean hummed, “would you like me to join you in the bath?” He asked, placing a strawberry in Cas’ hand. "Only if you want to." Castiel offered with a small smile as he popped the berry into his mouth. Dean chuckled. “I would never pass up the opportunity.” He said softly, taking off his clothes. He carefully climbed in behind Cas and held him close. “I love you.” He said softly. “And I know you don’t feel the same, but I just thought you should know.” He added on quickly. Cas smile faltered only briefly at the words before returning, his scent dripping with affection. "I know." He offered with a hum. "You reminded me quite a lot last night." He teased lightly. shifting to reach for the bowl of fruit and setting it in the water, watching it float between them with amusement. Dean chuckled. “That’s because you’re the first Omega I’ve been with that’s wanted to do something for me, rather than just take.” He said softly, taking another slice of fruit. “I’ve always seen sex as a... responsibility, not something you could enjoy. It’s always just been something I’ve provided rather than enjoyed, but you’re... making me think that sex can be... recreational.” He hummed. Cas scoffed at the idea, the sound a mix of amusement and disbelief. "I don't think you realize the irony of those words." He counted lightly picking a blueberry for himself and seeming to lose himself in his thoughts. “I know you don’t believe me Cas.” Dean said softly. “But the way I’ve always seen it, I’ve got the best medical team in the Kingdom, I know I am clean of diseases, so if an Omega is in heat and I help, then they’re being safe. And as you can see, there isn’t dozens of little Dean’s running around the Kingdom, so Omegas clearly trust me not to take advantage.” Dean explained. “How many other Alphas can you say will do that?” It took a moment for the Omega to realize the misunderstanding and gave a small chuckle. "Thats not what I meant, Cas." He mused lightly. "I understand all that. I meant the irony of who you're talking to." He explained before shaking his head, with another chuckle. "Never mind, don't worry about it. I told you I didn't want to use you Dean. I meant it." Dean nodded. “I know you don’t. I’ve just never met an Omega before whose wanted to... top whilst in heat. I don’t know whether it’s because you were on suppressants?” He asked softly. "Well, to be honest I hadn't planned on topping..." He admitted. "When I said I wanted to have my way with you, I still meant letting you top but when you mentioned it... I... Well I quite like the image of you lost in pleasure." He admitted, embarrassment ebbing from him. "I was /not/ disappointed." Dean blushed and nuzzled into Cas’ neck. “I’ve always wondered what it felt like to have someone inside you. You were the only person I trusted to ask of that.” He cupped some water in his hands and gently poured it over Cas’ good shoulder. “Can I ask something of you though?” He asked softly. "Of course, Dean." Cas offered as if the he were confused that the Alpha even bothered with asking. “When I go into my rut... could I ask you for the same level of help as I’m giving you?” Dean asked softly, “if not, then I’ll find an Omega in heat, and share my rut with them.” Jealousy suddenly flashed in Cas' scent before he could manage to reel it back in; though his expression was still soft as he offered another soft smile. "Of course, Dean. I would be happy to help. Besides, as far as we know we might be stuck together because of this whole thing with Azra'il anyways." He offered. "Going to another Omega could be... problematic." “As you keep reminding me Cas, I am the Slut King.” Dean said with a small smile. “It will not be unthinkable for me to continue in that vein even after I settle down.” He said softly. "Oh... Right." Cas mumbled, suddenly looking a bit disappointed, his scent overwhelmingly so. "My mistake." He offered. “That doesn’t mean I will.” Dean said softly, wrapping his arms around Cas’s chest and kissing him softly. “If you don’t want me to, I won’t.”

Cas nodded along with the words though his scent was almost hurt... "No..  no... it's fine Dean... whatever youd like." He reassured.

“It’s fine though is it?” Dean asked softly. “I can smell that it’s not alright.” He splayed his fingers over Cas’ heart feeling it beet. “I what to stay monogamous, to you.”

"Dean..." cas sighed, sounding exasperated but smelling a bit hopeful. "I'm not asking for that. I'm not even asking for a relationship. I'm just your Royal Aide... you dont have to reassure me. Its fine. It's your life."

“I hear you Cas, I honestly do. But I can also smell you.” Dean said softly, “at the moment we have to pretend to be together, and as such, I’m going to stay monogamous to you.” He explained.

The hurt returned and Cas nodded. Right... they had to pretend... Cas was the one who had decided that... this was his doing. "Right.  Yeah... sounds good." He reassured before shifting. "I think... I think I'm done now." He offered, moving to try and get out.

Dean nodded, “you’ve not had much breakfast.” He said softly, as he moved the bowl of fruit back onto the side. He held Cas’ hips as he helped him to stand and climb out of the water.

Cas waved him off as he collected s towel to dry off with. "Like I said. I'm not really that hungry." He reminded softly

“I know Cas, but it’s just that you’re in heat. You need to keep your energy up.” Dean said softly. He climbed out of the bath and dried himself off with a towel.

Cas sighed before collecting a pastry and biting into it to satisfy the other man. Already heading into the bedroom, not bothering to dress.

Dean sighed and grabbed their clothes and the tray of breakfast before following Cas into the bedroom. “Cas, you know I’m only trying to help.” He said softly.

“I know, Dean.” He reassured. “And I appreciate it.” He added, meaning every word. He was simply starting to become confused on where he stood with the Alpha… and where he /wanted/ to stand. It was all a bit overwhelming.

Dean hummed softly, he laid down in bed and held his arms open, “come here Cas. Tell me what’s on your mind.” He said softly. “I can see you’re thinking.”

Cas glanced at him, obviously hesitating a bit. “I rather not.” He admitted softly but moved to lay in his arms with a contented sigh. “There are certain things I will need to figure out on my own, unfortunately.”

Dean hummed, “well I’m here for when you need to speak.” He said softly. “I’ll always be here for you to vent to.” He linked their fingers under the blankets, holding Cas close. “Your  brother is always happy to listen and talk with you.”

“I know, Dean.” He reassured, giving a yawn as he snuggled closer for warmth.

Dean smiled and held Cas close. “Go to sleep Cas. I’ll get up in a little bit and continue my work.” He said softly.

Cas nodded, closing his eyes as he got comfortable. “Thanks Dean…” He mumbled softly, breathing in his scent deeply.

Dean hummed and scented Cas softly. “Dream of something nice.” He whispered, kissing Cas’ cheek.

Cas hummed softly at the words already starting to drift off. “Sorry… I shouldn’t keep you from your work.” He slurred softly.

“But I want to be here rather than work. I prefer you.” Dean said softly, holding Cas closer.

“Mm… prefer you too.” Cas managed softly before he began to snore lightly .

Dean chuckled. He stayed were he was in bed, Cas in his arms, for about an hour. After an hour, he gently got up and dressed, going into his office, keeping the door open.

Cas shifted, mumbling under his breath as Dean moved, shifting to curl the blanket closer around them.

Dean kissed Cas’ head and scented him heavily before leaving to continue his work.

Cas seemed to relax as Dean rubbed his scent on the man. The action would no doubt allow Cas a few more hours of sleep.

Dean worked on his appointing of new Aides as he kept one eye on Cas, smelling his scent occasionally to make sure he was happy.

Cas seemed perfectly content for the most part with the occasional spike of this or that.  

Dean sighed and went into the bedroom after a long while, sitting on the bed. “Cas,” he cooed softly. “Cas, love, how are you feeling?”

Cas hummed, brows furrowing before cracking his eyes open. “Dean?” He mumbled softly. “Warm.” He admitted, his fever having spiked while he slept. .

Dean frowned and gently pulled the blankets off Cas. “It’s okay. Why don’t you sit up, and we can have a drink of water?” He offered as he poured a glass of water out for Cas.

Cas didnt protest, shifting to sit up silently and starting to shiver a bit as the cool air hit him. He accepted the glass, taking a small silver before offering it back.

Dean sighed. “Cas... I...” he bit his lip and started again. “Are you okay? You’re not eating or drinking, you’re shivering in a room that isn’t that cold. Should we bring in Gabriel to give you a check over?” He asked softly.

Cas shook his head, the action measured as to not make him dizzy. “I’m sure I’m fine Dean…” He offered though the words were still a bit slurred. “I’m sure its just the heat… No reason to worr…” He paused, almost falling over. “Worry him.” He managed as he caught himself.

Dean frowned and held Cas close. “Come here. I know you want to always be strong, but sometimes you have to let people help.” He said softly. He kissed Cas’ cheek softly. “Let me go fetch Gabriel. He wants to help and so do I.”

“Its not about help…” Cas protested, trying to worm his way out of Dean’s arms, but was far to weak to manage it. “Don’t want to worry him…” He huffed giving up. “Just tired.” He repeated, nuzzling closer to obviously try and get some more sleep.

Dean sighed, and pulled away slightly so Cas couldn’t get comfortable. “I need you to stay awake, baby. Just until Gabriel comes and speaks with you.” He said softly, climbing out of bed and going to the guards outside to go fetch Gabriel. Cas nodded before Dean pulled away and he curled up on the bed already starting to fall asleep once more. Dean sat back down on the edge of the bed. “Come on Cas. Stay awake for me please. It’s not like you to be this sleepy. Where are those drills you were going to get me doing?” He asked. "In the morning Gabriel. Drills are in the morning." He huffed, pulling thr pillows over his face. “Come on Cassie.” Dean said softly. “Look at me, do you know who I am?” Dean asked as he tugged on the pillow lightly. Cas grunted before tugging the pillow back and rolling up tighten in the blankets. Dean sighed and kissed his temple. A moment later, there was a knock at the door. Dean went to answer it and allowed Gabriel inside. “He’s getting worse.” He whispered as he allowed Gabriel in. “He’s just called me your name. He’s been asleep most of the day, only awake for a bathe. I can’t get him to eat or drink anything.” Dean whispered, chewing his bottom lip softly.

Gabriel brushed past him with barely a word, hurrying to his brother’s side. “It could just be exhaustion.” He reassured before sinking down onto the bed. He pulled the pillow back, earning a growl from the Omega but took no mind. He placed a hand on his forehead and frowned. “He’s burning up… A lot worse than if it were just his heat.” He mumbled before tugging down the blankets to look at the wound on his shoulder. “The infection is getting worse.” He commented with a huff.

“I’ve been cleaning it regularly. We’ve bathed it this morning.” Dean frowned. “Is there anything you want me to do?” He asked. “Do you want me to run him a bath?” He offered.

“Sometimes no matter how much we do it gets worse, Dean. Its not your fault.” He reassured. “You said you have doctors?” He asked. “You should probably call for them.”

Dean nodded and rested a hand on Gabriel’s shoulder. He went to his guards and ordered for them to bring the Royal Omega Doctor immediately. “He will be okay though, won’t he?” Dean asked softly.

“I’d tell you he’d be fine but we both know I’d be lying.” Gabriel sighed, wrapping his brother up a bit tighter. “Honestly… I don’t know. Infections can be tricky. I’ve done all I know how to do. It usually works… I’ve been tending to Cas almost his whole life… This isn’t the worse he’s ever gotten.” He mumbled, obviously rambling with worry. “But… We both know he’s a fighter. I doubt this does him in.”

Dean nodded, his hand on Gabriel’s shoulder. “Before he curled up like this... he told me not to get you.” He said softly. “He said that I shouldn’t make you worry. Even when he’s ill and delirious, he’s caring for you Gabriel. I’ve never seen anyone care for someone as much as he cares for you.” He whispered.

Gabriels scent spiked with annoyance. “Of course he did.” He grumbled before pushing to his feet. “The man’s a moron.” He huffed moving to dampen a rag and returning to place it on his forehead. “Always has been.”

“He loves you Gabriel. You’re his everything.” Dean said softly. “Don’t be annoyed at him, he’s just trying to protect you.” He said gently.

Gabriel shoot the Alpha a glare. “See! Thats the problem! Thats what he ALWAYS does! He tries to protect /me/, He tries to protect the /Kingdom/ and he tries to protect /you/! Thats what got him in this position in the first place! He took a fucking arrow trying to protect someone! I guarantee he didn’t even see you as King in that moment… He would have done the same for anyone… even some street urchin he didn’t know from John.” He scoffed. “He’s an idiot, trying to save the world and is going to kill himself in the process.”

Dean frowned, that wasn’t the reaction he expected from the Omega. “That’s why he has you. To patch him up. And that’s what I want to do. I want to protect him. I want to protect everyone is this Kingdom, and I need someone as wise as Cas to help me. Not fighting on the front lines but working out strategy and how to win and when to push.” Dean said softly.

Gabriel shook his head, pushing to his feet in aggrivation and starting to pace as they waited for the Doctor. “That’s just it isn’t it?! I’m always there to patch him up and he always gets hurt worse the next time! I’m not going to be here forever, and he doesn’t stop to think about that, does he? Or the fact that one day I’ll have to watch him die from his own stupidity! Sure, he’s selfless.” Gabriel shrugged. “But that also makes the moron more selfish then you could possibly realize. And I’m.. what?... Suppose to just accept that?” He growled, wrapping his arms around himself.

Dean frowned and poured a fresh glass of water for Gabriel. “Drink this Gabriel. And then go grab something to eat, get some fresh air. He won’t die on us, he won’t die on you. He’ll always be around to moronically protect us all.”

Gabriel paused, staring at the glass of water as if it were going to jump at him before he relaxed a small huff of amusement, escaping him. “I’d rather stay.” He mumbled, pushing away the offered glass gently. “Thanks though… Not really use to having someone with me when he does this crap.” He admitted. “He might not die this time… but what about next?” He sighed, sinking down into one of the chairs.

“I know Gabriel. But he’s got a 100% running rate of pulling through. He won’t die just to spite everyone around him and God himself.” Dean chuckled. There was a knock at the door and Dean opened it, dagger in had. “Come on in Doctor Shepard, it’s great for you to come so quickly.”

“Of course, Your Majesty.” The Doctor replied with a shallow bow before moving towards Cas. “I assume this is the Omega in question?” He asked already setting his bag down next to the bed. Gabriel didn’t give Dean a chance to answer as he moved to the opposite side of the bed. “Yes.” He rushed. “He has a number of lacerations but the wound in his shoulder is the worse. It became infected about 48 hours ago. We’ve been applying anti inflammatory salve on a regular basis but its persistent.” The doctor eyed the elder brother evenly, obviously not really accepting his words as he pulled the blankets down to reveal the angry red wound. “And you tried to sweat out the fever?” He asked, though it was more of a statement, making Gabriel just give a nod as the Doctor began his own examination.  

“He’s been asleep for most of the day.” Dean explained, “he’s not really drank anything, nor has he eaten much. He should be in the middle of his heat, but no wave has come today.” He added, “you can trust Gabriel’s assessment of Aide Novak’s injuries, he tended to Novak before.”

“Ah… So, this is the ex-Knight Commander and you must be his brother.” The Doctor nodded but said no more on the subject. “The heat is most likely being suppressed by the infection’s fever.” He advised. “There will no doubt be a wave coming.” He reassured, inspecting the rest of the man’s body before pulling the blanket around him once more. “Though it might be best to keep his movements to a minimum. He needs rest, a lot of it. He also needs water, He will most likely protest but if you can get him to drink it will help. As for food… For now, broth will be your best option. I can send some herbs to kitchen.” He paused. “From what I’ve heard, you are currently assigned there?” The Doctor asked Gabriel who simply nodded. “I can show you how to prepare them. The tea will be bitter but it will help. Add it to his broth as well. It won’t be the very palatable but it is necessary.” He reassured before glancing at Dean. “The infection has had time to settle. His fever should get worse before it gets better. I would warn against bedding in general if he weren’t already in heat. At this point it might do more damage than good. Just keep… activities as gentle as possible while satisfying his impulses.” He advised. “The high temperature can cause delusional tendencies, I advise you to go along with them, to avoid any unnecessary stress on the Omega. I’m afraid, beyond that and attempting to keep him hydrated, there is not much more I can do, Your Majesty.” He admitted.

Dean nodded. “That’s fine. Can you do a general checkup on him as well whilst you’re here. I’m sure you know he’s been on suppressants, we don’t want him to have any detrimental side effects especially whilst he’s got an infection and in heat.” Dean explained.

“Of course, Your Grace.” Shepard nodded, turning back to the Omega. His hands went to the man’s neck, pressing here and there before moving lower, pressing at his abdomen carefully, avoiding his wounds. He opened the man’s mouth, before checking his eyes. It was a few moments before he spoke again. “Well, I will admit, there are a few worrisome areas.” He sighed. “He seems to have damaged a few of his reproduction organs, though I can’t be sure how much or if they are simply under developed until I can get him to my office.” He admitted. “It could be nothing but it is something to be aware of. He also has some older scars that I would like to ask about.” He added. “Other than that he is as healthy as an Omega… More so even… Though thats probably due to living a soldier’s life.” He shrugged as he stood. “When he’s feeling better, and after his heat has subsided, perhaps you could convince him to pay me a visit?” He asked the King.

Dean nodded. “We’ll try our best. Even if I have to carry him.” He chuckled softly. “As for the scars, Gabriel is the best person to speak to about those.”

Shepard nodded as he glanced at the elder Novak. “Very well.” He acknowledged. “Would you mind walking with me, Novak?” He asked motioning for the door. “We can discussing a few things before I show you how to prep the herbs.” He offered earning an eager nod from Gabriel who pushed to his feet and hurried after him.

Dean smiled softly as he watched Gabriel go with Doctor Shepard. He sighed as he sat beside Cas on the bed and stroked his hair softly. “I love you.”

Cas leaned into the touch with a soft hum, obviously breathing in the man’s scent deeply and visibly relaxing. Dean scented Cas softly. “I’m so sorry. You shouldn’t have taken the arrow for me.”

The Omega gave no indication that he heard the words, though he reacted to the scenting by curling towards the Alpha, and giving something akin to both a whine and a sigh; obviously taking comfort in the action.

“It’s okay, Cas. We’ll both be okay, I promise.” Dean said softly. “You’re so brave.”

There was no response as Cas continued to sleep in his fevered state, pressing a far too warm cheek against the other man’s arm.

Dean sighed and stroked Cas’ hair softly.

It was only about an hour before Gabriel returned with a small pot of tea. He helped Dean coax the sleeping man to drink a small cup before giving a small break and attempting again. When the Omega had finished off about two cups Gabriel left him to sleep, urging Dean to get some work done. It wasn’t until just before lunch that Cas began to stir, sitting up slowly and glancing about the room. “Dean?” He mumbled softly, obviously still groggy.

Dean was in his office, his door open to listen for and see Cas. He continued to work, waiting to hear Cas call him or to see him coming out of the room.

When the Alpha didn’t suddenly appear Cas moved to swing his legs over the side of the bed and attempted to stand. He wavered a moment before falling back onto the edge of the bed. He gave a frustrated huff before trying again, this time managing it and taking a few shaky steps towards the office, where he assumed the Alpha was.

Dean saw Cas moving slowly and shot up. “You should be in bed Cas.” He frowned, wrapping an arm around his waist and taking most of the Omega’s weight. “Let’s get you back in there, and we can talk about what you want.” He offered.

For once, the Omega didn’t protest as he was pulled into the man’s arms for support. “M’fine.” He reassured though he leaned heavily on the Alpha, scenting /him/ this time. “Missed you.”

“I missed you too.” Dean chuckled. “Stop scenting me Cas. I don’t need it and you need your energy more.” He said softly. “We’re got some of that delicious tea I know you love.” . Cas gave a small grunt in response, but didn’t comply. He did pause, however, glancing about the room for a moment. “Did… Did I hear Gabriel here earlier?” He mumbled curiously.

“Hmm.” Cas responded as if considering the words before immediately dismissing them. “Come to bed, Dean.” He practically purred, tugging at him weakly, towards the large four poster. “Its cold without you.”

Dean chuckled. “You’ve been burning up for the last few days. We can get you warm when you have a drink.” He said softly, picking up the cup of tea and holding it out to Cas.

Cas stared out it with an annoyed huff before pressing closer so that he was still leaning against the Alpha, accepting the cup and giving a small sip before his features turned to disgust. “Ugh… Thats really really bad.”

“I know Cas. But it will make your infection go away.” Dean said softly. “If you drink up, I’ll make you nice and happy.”

The Omega only hesitated briefly before giving a sly smile and leaned in close to press a small kiss to Dean’s lips. “Promise, Alpha?” He purred softly.

“I promise, cheeky. Now drink up, before I revoke my promise.” Dean winked, as he held Cas close. He kissed Cas’s hair and murmured into it, “I love you.”

Cas had spent enough time with his men to know how to down something as disgusting as the tea… though it tended to be liquor and not herbs. So, he lifted the small cup to his lips and tossed it back, downing the liquid in just a few gulps before handing back the empty cup and giving a small cough. “That… was disgusting.” He huffed with displeasure.

“I know.” Dean hummed. “I had to have a sip the other day to get you to drink it. Now lay in bed, and let me make you feel good.”

“You did?” Cas asked, brows furrowing, obviously confused. The sensation was forgotten, however, as Dean lead him towards the bed earning a pleased hum as Cas pressed closer instead of doing as he was told; the current wave of his heat obviously about to set in.

“Lay down Cas. You need to not move, it will hurt your infection more if you move.” Dean said softly. He kissed Cas softly, pushing him into the pillow.

Cas allowed himself to be coaxed downwards as he returned the kiss a bit hungrily.

Dean pulled away and placed a finger on Cas’ lips. “Tell me what you want me to do.” He whispered.

The Omega’s breathing was already becoming a bit uneven with the Alpha so close to him. “Everything… Anything… Please, Alpha.” He pleaded.

“Cas,” Dean said softly. “I’m going to go slow and gentle and pull of love.” He explained, “I want you to feel good.”

Cas gave a frustrated huff as he lifted his hips to press against the Alpha. “I will feel good, Dean… I just need my Alpha.” He argued headily, using the possessive endearment for the first time.

“Your Alpha, huh?” Dean asked as he slowly undressed them both, pressing his bare skin against Cas’ bare skin, being careful of his wounds. “You think I belong to you?”

Embarrassment flooded the Omega’s scent, obviously worrying him as he moved to sit up. “Oh, No! I didn’t mean to imply…. I… Its just… You’re a King… You belong to no one… I…” He rushed, obviously panicking a bit.

“But I want to be yours.” Dean growled softly. “Let me show you how much I want it.” He growled as he rolled his bare hips against Cas’ thigh.

Cas cut himself off immediately at the man’s words; the flush of embarrassment still mixing with his fevered tone. The feel of Dean’s cock press against his thigh had the Omega unable to refrain from the small shiver that ran the length of his spine. “D-Dean…” He breathed almost in a moan as he leaned forward to kiss the man once more.

“Can I be your Alpha?” Dean asked. He shuffled his hips to one side and rolled his hips against the Omega’s cock. “I want to wake up with you in my arms everyday. I want to fall asleep with you by my side. I want to go out in public arm in arm.” He whispered.

“Ah…” Cas gasped arching into the touch in turn. He bit his bottom lip to try to refrain from moaning to no avail. “D-Dean please…. Just… I need you.” He groaned softly. He could already feel the sheets beneath him dampening once more as he sank back onto the desperate and needy.

Dean hummed and brought the blankets up around his shoulders before nuzzling his cock against Cas’ wet hole. “I love you.”

Cas shifted so that his legs fell open a bit wider, lifting his hips to rub against the Alpha’s cock in return, teasing it. He wrapped his good arm around the other man’s shoulders dragging him into another desperate kiss.

Dean kissed Cas back and gently pushed into him, immediately started to slowly rock his hips. “

Cas gasped as he was stretched lifting his back from the mattress with a relieved moan as his need subsided a bit. "Yes, Alpha! My Alpha!" He groaned nails digging into Dean's back as he arched. "More..." he encouraged softly.

Dean groaned and pushed down on Cas’ hips before settling into long, slow thrusts. “You’re so beautiful.”

He gave a small whine as he was pressed back into the mattress, obviously wanting to move. Still, he didnt fight Dean's hold as the Alpha kept his pace. Cas' breathing was still a low pant quickening slowly as he allowed his hands to slide against Dean's body, over his shoulders and across his chest affectionately. "So good Dean... please..." He gasped softly, legs locking around his waist.

Dean smiled and kissed Cas softly. “Just relax. I’ve got you.” He promised as he sped up slowly.

"Ah... ah..." Cas gasped softly as Dean began to pick up the pace, the new position allowing him to hit his prostate easily. "Oh, fuck Dean! Yes Alpha! My Alpha!"

Dean hummed as he aimed for Cas’ prostate. “Good boy, Omega. That’s it. You can come.”

Cas was practically a moaning whining mess  as Dean continued his rhythmic thrusts. The  Omega lifted his hands to cup his Alphas face as he kissed him again, this time a bit more slowly, far more affectionate than before.... He was so close. "Love you too Alpha..." He offered against the Mans lips. "Never felt like this..." He gasped softly as he grew closer to his climax.

“I love you too Omega.” Dean said softly. “I’ll make you feel this good all the time.” He promised. He thrusted hard into Cas, aiming straight for his prostate.

Cas' whole body shook at the final thrust, cumming hard between them as he clung to the other man desperately crying out his name as wave after wave of pleasure washed through him.

Dean moaned as Cas’ came between them. He pulled out quickly and came over the Omega, adding his own cries to Cas’. He laid down beside Cas, wrapping his arms around him tightly.

Cas allowed himself to be pulled into the embrace as he tried to catch his breath, burying his face in the other mans chest. Embarrassment and fear filling his scent as hs realized what he had said to the Alpha.

Dean hummed and kissed Cas’ hair softly. “What you said, do you want me to forget about it?” He asked softly. “I can pretend you never said it if you’d prefer.”

For a moment it seemed as if Cas wouldnt reply but slowly, as he seemed to relax a bit into Dean's hold he sighed. "No." He mumbled softly. He had meant the words... He simply didnt want to admit them.

“Really?” Dean asked softly, he tilted Cas’ chin up and kissed him slowly. “I love you.” He whispered.

Cas flushed, the embarrassment intensifying. "I love you too." He grumble softly, glancing away.

Dean chuckled and kissed his hair again. “Is this just you’re heat speaking?” He asked softly.

Cas tensed at the question, fear spiking. "I..." He began to argue before hesitating. "I dont know." He answered honestly. "I dont think so." He admitted his gaze glued to where his hands were pressed against Dean's chest.

“Cas it’s okay.” Dean said gently. “I just want to know where we both stand.” He explained, stroking Cas’ hair.

"I know, Dean." He reassured. "But I'm not sure if it's the heat. I dont think it is, but I've never had a heat like this." He explained, still not looking him in the eye.

Dean slowly linked their fingers together, over his chest. “I can wait. I can wait for you to think it through.” He said softly. “I don’t want to rush you.”

Cas seemed to relax even more at the words pressing closer once more. "Thank you." He whispered softly, snuggling close.

Dean smiled softly and held Cas close. “We should tell Gabriel you’re awake. He’ll want to speak with you.” He said softly.

Cas gave a small hum at that. "Can it wait?" He mumbled softly. "If I've been out as long as you say I rather not listen to the lecture he will no doubt have prepared."

“Of course. I think I got the most of it.” Dean smiled. “Do you need anything? Food? A nicer drink?”

"A nicer drink would be appreciated but it can wait. I'm good with just laying here with you." He offered.

Dean smiled softly, “I like laying here with you too.” He drew soft circles into Cas’ shoulder blades. “How does your shoulder feel?”

Cas moved it a bit as if testing it. "Still hurts a little but not as much as it was." He admitted. The would was still red and obviously infected but not quite as angry as when Cas' fever had started.

Dean nodded and held Cas close. “I’ll change your bandages in a bit, when you’re feeling a bit warmer.”

Cas gave a small snort of amusement at the words. "I was never really cold." He admitted softly. "I just wanted you."

Dean hummed softly. “You’re fever was through the roof. Even when I was beside you.” He said softly. “Shall I change your bandages and then you can go back to sleep if you wish?”

Cas' brows furrowed at the words, obviously becoming a bit distressed. "I didnt mean to worry anyone. I'm sure it would have gone away on it's own. " He reassured softly.

“Hey, we care about you Cas. You had an infection, even if it was a little infection we would have worried because we care.” Dean said softly, scenting the Omega softly.

Cas hummed in Approval as Dean scented him. "Doesnt mean I have to like it." He countered, pushing closer. "Though there are a few thing I can think of that I /would/ like." He teased lightly.

Dean smirked and kissed Cas softly. “What /would/ you like?” He asked, rubbing Cas’ shoulder softly.

"I want you to fuck me until I have trouble standing, then carry me to the bath and bathe with me." He admitted with a sly grin. It seemed that just the short time the two had spent together had caused him to come out of his shell a bit. In fact, the shy embarrassed Omega that reluctantly shared his heat was no where to be seen at the moment.

“Is that true?” Dean asked, walking his fingers up Cas’ chest. “Where is the Omega who didn’t want to share his heat, because he thought he could handle it?”

Cas shot him an even look before seeming to pout. At least as close to a pout as he could manage. "Are you denying your Omega, Alpha? While hes in heat? How could you be so cruel?"

“I’m never going to deny you, Cas.” Dean smiled. “I just want to know where my shy, reserved Omega who doesn’t like me got to.”

Cas arched a brow at that. "Would you prefer I go back to hating you?" He teased lightly.

“Do I want someone I love you hate me? Hm let me get back to you on that.” Dean smiled as he kissed Cas softly.

Cas hummed into the kiss, nipping at the Alpha's bottom lip playfully. "I think you get off on it. Why else would you have wanted me so badly?" He countered, hands moving down the other mans chest

“Because you’re beautiful, and sexy, and so so clever.” Dean smiled as he cupped Cas’ cheek, his thumb rubbing softly over his cheekbone.

"No I'm pretty sure it's the hatred thing." He countered, voice dripping with amusement.

“Of course, that’s my mistake.” Dean chuckled.

Cas pressed closer to the Alpha. "So...?" He asked softly. "Sex, bath, bandage?" He asked. "Or are you going to make me beg? Just a heads up... I don't beg..." He paused before shrugging. "Often."

Dean hummed. “You’ve begged plenty of times to me.” He smirked rolling them both over, so Cas was on his back and Dean was on top.

Cas gave a small grunt as they shifted positions, moving beneath him a bit so that his shoulder didnt ache too terribly. "Play your cards right and I might again."

Dean laughed and kissed Cas passionately, pinning his uninjured arm above his head.

Cas arched into the touch, rubbing his already hardening length against the Alpha. He returned the kiss without hesitation, humming at the familiar and comforting taste of his lips.

Dean hummed into the kiss his free hand coming up to cup Cas’ cheek. He gently tilted Cas’ chin up, biting at his neck softly.

A soft studdering sigh escaped the Omega at the feel of Dean’s mouth on him, causing goosebumps to drift across his skin. ‘Dean…” He whined softly, rutting against him again.

“Is that a beg?” He asked. Dean wrapped his lips around Cas’ good collar bone and sucked it softly.

Cas began to chuckle, the sound cutting off as Dean began to suck a mark into his skin, turning it into a moan. "N-not a chance." He managed breathlessly.

Dean smirked and bit gently, leaving a bruise on his collar bone. “I will get you to beg.0

“Mm… Is that so?” Cas mused with a hum, allowing his hands to slide lower until the were curling around Dean’s length. “And if you beg first?”

Dean hummed, he went down Cas’ body, licking and nipping at the Omega’s nipple. ] Cas gave another small hum, shifting beneath the Alpha's large body. "Is that all you've got, Alpha? I thought you knew how to please an Omega."

“Baby, I’ve only just got started.” Dean hummed as he moved down Cas’ body, kissing and licking his skin. As he got to Cas’ naval he stopped and pushed his tongue into it, moaning loudly.

The shiver that raked over Cas' body was strong enough to leave him gasp at the strange sensation. He would have argued that it wasnt exactly pleasant but the slick that suddenly began to pool beneath him would have called him on the fib. Then again it was probably more due to the sound of his Alpha's moans than the actual feel of his mouth.

Dean smiled as he moved lower biting the soft skin just beneath his naval. “Is someone wanting me?” He asked.

"As if you didnt know." Cas scoffed. "Of course I want you but I'm not begging... yet." He countered with amusement.

Dean chuckled. “I won’t let you come until you do beg.” He smirked, going lower and running his tongue and nose down the Omega’s shaft.

“Mm… Is that a promise or a threat?” Cas teased lightly, a hand moving to tangle in the Alpha’s hair. “It depends when you start to beg, little Omega.” Dean teased. He moved down lower, biting and sucking a large hicky into Cas’ inner thigh.

A whine escaped him before he could catch himself, lifting his hips a bit at the pleasure-pain. “Another.” He demanded a bit breathlessly one Dean pulled away.

Dean turned to the other leg, biting and sucking a larger hickey onto his inner thigh. “Was that a beg?”

His whine turned into a moan as he sucked another mark on him. There was something about the action that had Cas aching inside and out for his Alpha. “No…” He managed a bit breathlessly. “An order.” He offered playfully.

Dean smiled as he continued to mark his Omega. “No one else will touch you when they know you’re claimed like this.” He almost growled at the thought. “Everyone will know you’re mine.”

"Is that so, Alpha?" Cas purred, trying to hide the effect the sound of Dean's protective growl had on him. "You want me to be yours? Want the world to know I belong to you?"

Dean growled, “you’re mine, Omega. The entire world will know, you’re my Queen.” He tilted his head up and took Cas’ balls into his mouth.

Cas jerked slightly at the sudden sensation. Whatever retort he had in mind was suddenly forgotten... though he doubted it would be wise to anger the other man in their current position.

Dean moaned and rolled Cas’ balls around in his mouth, rubbing his tongue all over them.

The Omega's breathing became shallow and uneven as Dean Teased him. "Dean... it's not going to work." He managed in a breathless whine, losing the meaning of the words.

Dean hummed and pulled off Cas’ balls with a pop, letting them go cold in the air. “No, then what’s that whine?” He asked.

"F-fuck you." He stuttered unconvincingly, shifting his hips slightly as the cool air hit his damp skin.

Dean hummed, “do you /want/ me to fuck you?” He asked. “Nice and slow? You know what you have to do to get me to do that.”

"I could refuse you too, you know." He grumbled though he was obviously needy. "You wouldnt dare leave me in my heat..."

“Are you prepared to bet on that?” Dean asked, as he stood up out of bed to show Cas that he meant what he had said.

Cas offered an amused smile a hand sliding down his own chest to stroke himself slowly. "I'd say so."

Dean hummed and began to dress, hiding his erect from Cas’ movements. “All you have to do is beg, my Omega.”

"I'll pass." He huffed moved onto his stomach    and brought his knees up so that he was presenting to the Alpha. He didnt hesitate to reach between his legs however, and rub against his hole with a soft moaning gasp for the Alpha's benefit.

Dean hummed. “When you are ready to change your mind, I shall be in my office, working.” He smiled before kissing Cas’ forehead and heading into the office.

"Cant handle it? Coward." Cas accused playfully as He rutted against the sheets. "Cant even please his Omega properly."

Dean laughed out loud. “Do you want me to please you Cas? Because at the moment, you seem adamant not to like it.” He replied as he leaned in the doorway of the office. “Do you want me to please you?”

“I’m adamant not to beg, Alpha.” Cas corrected, shifting again to face him. “No… I want you to stay and watch me please myself until you can’t handle it anymore… Unless you feel like you’re not up for the challenge?”

[Beginning] // [Previous] // [Next]

[keelywolfe]

FIC: Bonding Over Idiocy (baon)

Summary:   Stretch really hated hospitals, so you'd think he would try harder to stay out of them.

Tags: Spicyhoney, Established Relationship, Hurt/Comfort, Angst, Hints of Kustard, Mentions of Therapy

part of the ‘by any other name’ series.

Read it on AO3

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Read it here!

~~*~~

It wasn’t just the poking and prodding, the nurses coming in at all hours and the doctors coming in to talk to him with serious eyes, trying to find delicate ways to tell him the newest way his low HP had betrayed him that made Stretch hate hospitals.

The sheer boredom was so much worse. No matter how interesting a book or how tempting a cooking show was, there was no escaping that he was doing it from a hospital bed. That in and of itself was too distracting for anything else to hold his attention. His cellphone was still in the lab, probably blowing up with messages that he couldn’t answer. That left Stretch with the option of sleeping, napping, and trying to keep his complaining to a minimum.

For once, this shit was entirely on him, so he was going to swallow back his irritation and take his medicine. Literally.

At least he’d managed to push Edge into going to work for a few hours. With Janice off, he was already behind and the last thing he needed was to make it worse because of Stretch’s dumbfuckery. It also meant he didn’t have to spend the day with Edge looking at him with that tired, pinched expression. He was still pissed off, that much was obvious, probably trying to keep himself from taking it out on Stretch since he was, you know, in the fucking hospital hooked up to his own personal fuel line.

He would have taken that look, taken whatever Edge had wanted to throw at him, if he were being brutally honest with himself. It had been hard enough to stifle the desperate urge to beg Edge to stay and fuck his job, stay with him until that aching, lingering panic faded enough for him to believe that they were…well, not okay, maybe, but that Edge wasn’t going to pack up his shit for him and leave it on the porch. That Stretch hadn’t finally managed to stumble across the line of unforgivable.

Not that Stretch didn’t believe Edge when he said he would never leave him, he did…mostly.

It wasn’t like he’d been rubbing the ring on his finger, fidgeting with it until the bone beneath it was chafed and sore, nope, not at all.

Blue had lingered a bit longer and he’d only left when Stretch had pleaded exhaustion, rolling over and feigning sleep until his bro quietly left. No telling where he’d gone, maybe back home for a shower and a nap, maybe he was only downstairs in the cafeteria, but Stretch was pretty sure he’d be back soon enough.

Yeah, that was tiring to think about, his brother that he loved so much hanging around, bullying him into eating a little more and tucking the blankets in too tightly, alternating between scolding and cajoling.

Fuck, he’d never wanted a cigarette so much in his life and he’d never been less inclined to whine for one.

From behind the curtain, he heard the door open, almost silent footsteps walking towards him. Familiar footsteps, not someone he was expecting, but not a surprise, either, not really.

Sans stopped at the edge of the curtain, peering around it. He managed a half-hearted smile when he saw Stretch was awake, tucking his hands in his pockets, offering a weary, “hey.”

“hey,” Stretch grabbed the remote and muted the television. “come in, will ya, stop looking like i’m gonna push you down and steal your lunch money.”

That got him a head shake, but Sans did take a couple steps closer. “you should’ve told him, you know. he might have laid off a little.”

Stretch shrugged. “why? then he’d be pissed off at you, too. besides, you didn’t make me keep working by myself.”

He’d come up with that bit of stupidity on his own. Everything had been set up for yet another test run by the time Sans texted him that he wasn’t going to make it to the lab. By now they’d gone through this a dozen times; the problem wasn’t with the distiller, it was the formulation that kept breaking down after only a few days. Preserving the solution was the issue they were having, not extracting the magic to make it. Or so Stretch had thought.

“nah, i just didn’t give you another option.” He hopped up on the foot of the bed, sitting with his legs dangling. “for what its worth, i’m sorry i ditched out on you.”

“working with me isn’t your only job, bud, i get it.”

“no, it’s not. and we’ve been busting double time down at the embassy,” Sans agreed, wearily, “but what sucks about this whole thing is i was right upstairs with your bro the whole time. i didn’t lie when i begged off, you know, i was tired, but i knew i wasn’t gonna be able to fall asleep. blue asked me if i wanted to stop by for a little television and…eh, i know he gets a little lonely sometimes since you moved out.” He slanted Stretch a knowing look. “that’s not a knock on you, by the way, blue’s gonna have to figure that out on his own. figured it wouldn’t kill me to sit with him, though, and fall asleep on his sofa for a change.”

Sans laughed sourly. “i almost ran downstairs when i first got there, to check in and maybe come up with another day to run the tests.”

“coulda, shoulda, woulda,” Stretch nudged Sans with his toes. “i’m not mad at you, if you’re not mad at me.”

“deal,” Sans agreed. “wanna tell me exactly what happened? pretty much all i had a chance to figure out was that the test was an epic fail, but i could use a few lab notes.”

“yeah, well. after you texted me to let me know you weren’t coming, i thought i’d run a basic distillation. we’ve done that a few times, haven’t had a problem before.” Stretch looked away from Sans’s keen gaze, picking lint off the blanket. “i’m not really sure what happened, power surge, maybe? the process is supposed to shut down after a certain time frame, we put in a failsafe for that. what we didn’t figure on was it getting caught in a feedback loop. for whatever reason, every time it hit the time frame, it reset and started over.”

He shivered a little, not really wanting to remember it. It had been painless, mostly, but the terror of realizing he couldn’t shut it down, the feeling of his magic draining away, dwindling to nothing. The pain hadn’t hit until it started on his HP and before he’d lost consciousness, all he’d been able to think about was Edge. If Edge thought Stretch didn’t care if he hurt him, well, Stretch wasn’t about to prove him wrong by telling him his last thoughts were of Edge finding his dust. He still wasn’t sure why he hadn’t dusted, but he sure as fuck wasn’t about to complain about it.

Stretch smiled, bitterly. “we’re supposed to be so smart, but the one thing we didn’t put on the thing was a fucking off switch and i couldn’t reach the plug. Stupid.”

“welp, if nothing else we know how to do the redesign. maybe next time we can figure that out with a little less drama. riding in a car with your bro and edge while you were trying to croak in the back seat?” Sans shuddered visibly. “let’s keep that as a once in a lifetime experience for the scrapbook.”

“yeah, kinda glad i was unconscious for that,” Stretch considered what he was about to say next, then shrugged mentally. Sans wasn’t going to like this, but he had to ask. “hey, i need you to do something for me. the distiller pulled all my magic, which ain’t no small thing. that means it’s still sitting in the machine, waiting.”

San’s expression was wary. “yeah?”

“it won’t last forever, it’ll start degrading in a couple days. i need you to try the infusion.”

He looked a little horrified, his normal easy calm shaken. “stretch, dude…”

“after all this, i’m not about to let it go to waste,” he snapped. “ask andy to come hang with you while you set it up if we’re going to tighten up protocol. he offered before and that way you won’t be alone. i didn’t almost die for nothing.”

As disturbing as Sans seemed to find experimenting with the magic he’d almost died losing, the scientist in him didn’t seem to be able to come up with an argument against it. “yeah, okay. i’ll call him. this is my fault, too. i’ve been bailing on you in the lab an awful lot lately.”

“stop that, will ya?” Stretch gave him a harder shove with his foot, “you begged off, you didn’t tell me to go on without you, it’s not on you.”

“hey, let me say my piece, okay?” He lay down on the bed next to Stretch's legs, looking up at the ceiling. The top of his head was level with the bottom of Stretch’s rib cage, his sneakered feet hanging off the end of the mattress. “i’m still seeing that therapist, you know.”

“me too. got it down to once a week, at least.”

“yeah. it gets better but shit doesn’t disappear because you want it to. probably do red some good to go, too. he’s pretty pretty fucked up,” Sans said, softly. He flinched a little when Stretch reached down and rested his fingertips on the top of his skull, but he didn’t pull away. “don’t think he’s about to make an appointment anytime soon.”

“no, i bet he wouldn’t,” Stretch said, “not exactly his style, is it.”

“no,” Sans agreed, sighing. “so, i ask you. how do i get past that? i’m not sure. i’m really not interested in your version of happily ever after. doesn’t mean i don’t want a version, though.”

That wasn’t anything Stretch had expected to hear. “sans…”

Sans shifted so that he was pressed tighter against Stretch’s legs. Taking a little comfort in his presence without asking for it, Stretch knew, because he tended to do it himself. “i mean, i’m pretty head over heels for that bastard.”

“that bad?”

“yeah. hey, you’re the lucky one,” Sans said with a bitter chuckle, “you got version 2.0, he’s pretty much housebroken. on a bad day, i think red would shiv someone who accidentally shorted him a curly fry at the local arby’s.”

“pretty sure you’re right. does knowing that change how you feel?”

“not even a little.” Sans tipped his head back, looking up at Stretch, upside down. “whatcha think?”

“i think you’re fucked.”

His grinned widened, sour and amused. “sounds about right.

A soft knock on the door made them both startled, and Sans leaned up on his elbows as the door opened, boots too loud on the tile floor as footsteps approached. Speak of the devil and he’ll show up for a chat of his own, it seemed.

“well, hey, a honey bun and a ketchup packet,” Red’s grin was sharp, and Stretch didn’t think he imagined the veil of careful disinterest that fell across Sans’s face. “how’s things, sweethearts?” His eye lights settled on Stretch, his grin widening. “nice to see you with both feet out of a dust pan. do my bro a favor, and try to stay like that for a day or two, yeah?”

“i’ll do my best. what are you doing here?” Stretch asked warily. Manners were usually wasted on Red, anyway.

“now, that ain’t nice,” Red shook his head sadly. “i’m here to do you a favor and everything.”

Yeah, that didn’t make him feel any better. “what favor?”

“brought you this.” Red reached into his inside jacket pocket and brought out what looked almost like a pen, only it was flat and there was a brightly colored cap on one end. He held it up triumphantly before offering it to Stretch.

Like he was going to take anything from Red without knowing what it was. “what is it?”

Red took his wariness in stride, coolly amused, “this is a juul, precious.”

Stretch made a face at both the nickname and the offering. “you brought me a vape?”

“yep, full of nicotiney goodness, only it won’t set off the smoke alarm.” When he still hesitated, Red waggled it in his fingers teasingly. “this one is honey-flavored.”

“okay, you’ve got my interest,” Stretch muttered. Edge would be more than a little annoyed if Red poisoned him. That meant it was probably safe enough. Probably.

Still, he couldn’t help but hesitate at Red’s encouraging look. Welp, he’d already been stupid once this week, may as well go for broke. He held it up to his mouth and took an uncertain puff. The flavor wasn’t overpowering, only a mild sweetness. Not at all like a cigarette, but he could already feel the nicotine settling into his magic and the cloud of vapor vanished quickly as he exhaled.

Stretch closed his sockets and took another puff. “okay, yeah, i owe you one. that ain’t bad.”

“pay me back by not letting either of our bros catch you with it,” Red licked his teeth and Stretch knew he didn’t imagine the way his eye lights flicked to Sans, brief as it was. “and take it easy, the battery only lasts so long. welp, i’ve got shit to do and you’re fucking boring. need a ride home, sansy?”

“not if you’re calling me that.”

“i can probably think of something else to call you,” Red said agreeably.

“maybe i’ll take my chances,” Sans said. His tone was bored laziness. His eye lights were definitely telling another story. “an uber driver would probably call me sir. don’t think i can expect that from you.”

From the way Red’s eye lights flared, Stretch wasn’t sure that offer was off the table.

Ugh, was this how everyone felt around him and Edge? No wonder the others were always rolling their eyes and groaning in disgust. Even Papyrus, whose patience for displays of affection was legendary, would occasionally let out an exasperated sigh when they were particularly revolting. Hell, that was part of the fun, in Stretch’s opinion, and Edge tolerated it with dry amusement. Must be killing Red to be so subtle, or at least his version of it.

Why the hell did he not want Edge to know?

“nice as it was to have you guys stop by for tea and crumpets, i don’t give it a shit if you call him daddy. i’m tired, so you can hit bricks now,” Stretch said. His yawn wasn’t entirely forced.

“no need to bring up your kinks with the edgelord,” Sans grinned slyly, hopping down before Stretch could give him a real kick. “get some sleep, kiddo, i’ll stop by again tomorrow if they haven’t cut you loose.”

“i’m the same age as you, asshole,” Stretch grumbled.

“don’t take it personal, honey bun, sansy here is only pissed he didn’t age as well as you.” Red barely flinched as Sans stepped rudely on his foot as he walked past. “don’t get caught with that and i’ll bring you a new cartridge tomorrow.”

The door closed behind them and Stretch turned the volume back up on the television. At least it was useful for a little background noise to help him sleep. A nap sounded pretty damn good and if he took one, maybe he wouldn’t fall asleep when Edge came back tonight.

He really wanted Edge to come back tonight.

Carefully, he tucked the e-cigarette into the pillow, then pulled the blankets up as best he could around the tubes of his IV’s before closing his sockets. Before he drifted off, he sent a brief, silent prayer to an angel he didn’t really believe in that he wouldn’t dream of dying, again.

His nightmares Greatest Hits album really didn’t need another track.

-finis-

[carry-on-my-wayward-shadowhunter]

A Favor Between Friends

For Gobblepot Summer 2017. This was so much fun to write! Tropes...tropes everywhere...you are warned ;-) A/N: Prompt from Bingo Card: Lawn Mower   Time passed in Gotham quickly, with the city that never seemed to sleep. Jim always thought that was Las Vegas, but he was pretty sure it was worse here. Six months had passed since everything with the Tetch virus. Jim and Harvey were working cases again as usual again, but Jim had become more and more distant. Harvey knew Jim carried his guilt like armor, and tried to alleviate it some whenever he could. “You done for the day, partner?” Harvey asked, as Jim gathered his stuff to leave. “Yeah. Shift actually ended an hour ago, but I lost track of time. Nygma has us running in circles,” Jim muttered. “See you tomorrow,” “Yeah,” Harvey said, with a sigh as he watched Jim leave with his shoulders slumped down. “See ya,” He didn’t know what else he could do but to let Jim be. He trudged back to his own office in a huff, snapping at anyone who even looked in his direction to get back to work.   Jim wandered around for a little while, not really wanting to go home to his apartment alone. Again. He had pulled the self-pitying, self-deprecating act for a while now, not being able to help it. He kept thinking over and over…he was a monster; No matter whether he was dosed with the virus or not. All under the umbrella of doing the right thing. He shook his head while he walked. Who the hell knows what the right thing is anymore? He thought. Somehow, Jim lost track of exactly where he was walking and ended up somewhere he never thought he would in a million years. The Iceberg Lounge. Its sign was a bright blue, and flashing right in front of his face. Loud, pulsing music could be heard even from outside, and there was a line halfway around the block, as per usual since it had opened a month ago. Oswald must be doing pretty well for himself, Jim thought. He and Oswald had come to a truce after Jim had killed Fish. Oswald had realized Jim had taken the virus, and even felt sorry for calling him a monster. It didn’t excuse it, as Oswald had said, but it had given reason for the man to not kill Jim on sight. Jim hadn’t ever thought about stepping foot inside the lounge, but…what the hell? Jim thought. What’s one more bad decision? He waited in line with the other patrons, and was let inside about a half hour later. Luckily, Jim was let inside before he could talk himself out of it, and immediately went to the bar to order a drink. There was a rock band performing a series of covers that night; Jim sat at the bar nursing his whiskey and tapping his foot to the music on the stool. The Iceberg wasn’t his scene, but Jim felt oddly comfortable there. No one here knew who he was, or if they did, they didn’t give a flying rat’s ass. That made Jim feel like he could finally breathe after a long day at the precinct where everybody talked in hushed tones behind his back, or looked at him with pity. “Jim! Long time no see,” a voice came up behind him, and Jim felt a hand on his shoulder. Oh, Christ. Jim thought. “Zsasz,” Jim muttered, and immediately flagged down the bartender. He knew he was going to need another drink. “Didn’t think you’d have the guts to come in here,” Victor grinned his maniacal grin at him, which made Jim clench his jaw. “Just wanted a drink,” Jim waved his glass a little when the bartender brought it over to him. “Boss will be sad by you not requesting to see him. He’s lonely. I can tell,” Victor sighed a put upon sigh, that Jim knew had to be sarcastic. “Ever since he thawed out lover boy, he never leaves his office. Never lets me have fun so I can catch the green wearing menace, either,” “I don’t want to know,” Jim said, in a gruff tone. “I am still a Detective, Zsasz,” Jim couldn’t help but feel the stab of something resembling jealousy when Zsasz called Nygma ‘lover boy’. He didn’t want to think too hard on that. “Yeah, but what’s a secret between friends?” Zsasz winked, and walked away and Jim shook his head. He tossed back the remaining of his drink, wondering what the hell just happened. -0- A few minutes, or it could have been a long while later, Jim was getting ready to leave when he saw him. Oswald was coming over to him, with a bitter look on his face. That’s never good, Jim thought. “Hello, old friend,” Oswald greeted, with a tight smile. “Enjoying yourself I hope?” “The band is great.” Jim had nothing else to say, and he was mentally kicking himself. How did Oswald Cobblepot make him so nervous? “Thank you. I auditioned them myself,” Oswald said proudly, sparing them a glance. “So, uh…I talked to Zsasz,” Oswald raised a skeptical eyebrow. “Oh?” “Just to say hi, apparently.” Jim responded. “He is strange, but he’s the best I’ve got. He wasn’t bothering you, I take it?” Oswald asked, shifting his cane to the other hand. “No, no. Just said you weren’t going to leave the office if I was waiting for you. Which I wasn’t. I know you’re busy and—“Jim cut himself off with a sigh. “I just ended up here, I swear. I had no intention to cause trouble.” “I know. I—I usually don’t, but I figured I would make the rounds at least once tonight since it is busy. Did you—need something?” Oswald was curious as to why Jim ‘ended up here’, as he put it. “No. Just got off from work, actually.” “Oh, alright. Well, have a pleasant evening, Jim.” Oswald nodded to him, and walked away. Jim hated how their relationship now had become so distant, but he guessed it had always been like that. When Harvey had found out about the exact reason why Oswald went ‘missing’, and told Jim the whole story…he couldn’t believe it. How Ed’s girlfriend who looked exactly like Kristen Kringle was a product of Indian Hill; how Oswald had fallen for Ed hook, line and sinker and had this woman killed before she could hurt Ed…it was all such a mess, and since Ed believed a completely different story, he had shot Oswald to let him bleed to death. It seemed that Oswald still had feelings for Nygma, however; Due to the fact that Ed was still alive and breathing, Jim thought. He watched Oswald head toward the other side of the bar, and shake hands with a few different people, all whom he probably despised, but played the dutiful host anyway. Before Jim could talk himself out of it, he flipped open his phone and sent a text. Are you busy tomorrow? –J He didn’t expect a reply for a few hours at least, as he left the bar and caught a cab home. As Jim readied himself for bed, he heard his phone buzz on the nightstand from a call coming through. It was Oswald. “Hello?” “What the hell did that mean? If you want information on Ed, I don’t have it. We aren’t really on the best of terms right now, if you catch my drift,” Oswald said on the other line. Jim immediately felt terrible. Oswald thought the only reason Jim asked that was for information. When in reality, he wanted to have lunch. “No, I know you two aren’t. Even if you were, between us, I would never ask that of you. You have been through enough with Ed, and quite frankly, I’ve put you through enough too.” Jim admitted, lying down on the bed. “Well there’s a sentence I never thought I would ever hear from you,” Oswald on his end was relaxing as well, or was trying to, from the comfort of his office. The club was closed, and the cleaning crew was just finishing up when he decided to check his phone. Oswald was furious that Jim had sent him that message at first, but in the end his curiosity gave way. “It can cover a whole myriad of things,” “I know.” Jim muttered,” Oswald began to say something when a knock came on his door. He rolled his eyes. “Can I call you back? One of my crack staff has had the thought to interrupt me while I’m working,” Jim chuckled at that. “Sure,” “I’ll just be a moment,” Oswald said, and hung up the phone. “Come in,” “Boss? I just got the call, and the guy who is scheduled to come to do the yard work tomorrow at the mansion is out sick.” The man informed him, a look of terror in his eyes. “Oh, for God’s sake…Well, it needs done, so I’ll find someone else in the morning. Why he waited until after one in the morning to call is beyond me,” Oswald said, in annoyance. “Thank you for informing me,” “No problem, boss,” And the man left without another word. Oswald sat back in his chair and thought about his problem at hand. His grass needed cut, and a bunch of other things around the yard needed done. He couldn’t exactly do it himself, because of his leg. Ivy had enough to do with her greenhouse alone, so he didn’t want to ask her. His father had kept the grounds immaculate, and Oswald did the same as one of the ways he paid homage to his memory. This couldn’t slide…he thought with a huff. Then, an idea struck him. “Oswald?” Jim answered, when his phone rang again. “Jim, yes. I was wondering…why you asked me if I was busy tomorrow,” Oswald asked, tapping his pen on the pad of notes he had in front of him. “I wanted to see if we could have lunch, or something. Just…friends catching up, I guess. Didn’t know if you’d go for it, considering…” Jim admitted. “You see, I am in quite a pickle tomorrow,” Oswald began. “A pickle?” Jim didn’t like where this was going, and debated on hanging up right that second. “Well, I employ all types of people. Chefs, maids, cleaning crew for the club, waitresses, etc. Now, I also employ yard maintenance over the summer months,” Oswald continued, and at Jim’s silence, he carried on. “The issue is, my employee has called out sick. The one who usually takes care of all of that, and I cannot seem to find another. I keep the place up to honor my father’s memory,” “You—you want me to do the work?” Jim asked, in disbelief. “If it’s not too much trouble. I would pay you, of course.” Oswald assured him. Jim debated back and forth for a few moments, but ultimately decided…what the hell? He had the day off tomorrow, so why not? “Sure. Then, maybe we could have lunch after?” “Of course, I would love to,” “So, what time should I be there?” Jim was already starting to regret his decision, considering how hot it had been lately. “Earlier the better, since it does get quite warm these days,” Oswald seemed to read his mind, and it made Jim chuckle. “I was just thinking that, and began to question my decision to help you,” “Doesn’t that always happen?” Oswald joked. He decided to end the call before Jim could back out. “See you in the morning, Jim,” “Yeah. See ya,” Jim said, and heard the other line go dead. Jim laughed once as he set his phone back on the nightstand and clicked the light off. He had to laugh because what even was his life anymore where he was going to Oswald’s mansion in the morning to mow his grass? He fell asleep with a smile on his lips for the first time in ages.   -0-   Jim had set his alarm for 6 am, so he could take advantage of the weather taking a break from the stifling heat. When driving up to the Van Dahl estate, Jim debated several times whether this was a bad idea, and to turn around to head back. In the end, he decided that it wouldn’t be in his best interest to do that, considering the truce he and Oswald had established. The conversation last night had been the most the two had said to each other in months. When Jim finally arrived, he exited the car and was surprised to find how clean and fresh the air was out here. It was light and airy, not close and suffocating like the air in the city sometimes was that threatened to choke the life out of him if he wasn’t too careful. Jim breathed in a sigh of relief with it. “Hello, who are you?” A man came up to ask him, startling Jim. “Jim Gordon,” Jim replied gruffly. “Ah, I see. You are here for grass, yes?” “Yes?” “Carlos. That’s me. I was instructed by Mr. Cobblepot to show you around back to where equipment is, so please follow me,” Carlos motioned for Jim to follow him. Jim set his mouth into a thin line. What was he expecting, for Oswald to show him around himself? Jim shook the thought away as he followed Carlos into the backyard. Jim’s mouth dropped open in shock. It was beautiful. Jim looked around to see many fountains, trickling away causing a soothing sound to Jim’s ears, many flowerbeds bright with pink and red roses, even a vegetable garden off to the one side. “I’m not sure about these,” Jim told Carlos honestly, pointing to the flowerbeds. “Hmm?” Carlos asked, turning around from the shed. “Oh, no no. Mr. Cobblepot does these himself. Oh, and with the help of his friend Ivy. She’s a beauty, that one,” “Ivy…Ivy Pepper?” Jim asked, raising an eyebrow. “Si,” Carlos nodded. “Here is the lawn mower. It’s a riding one, of course since the grounds are so large. Weed whacker over there with the hedge trimmer, gloves over there. Only thing that needs done with that is the front hedges need cut,” “Sounds good. Since the grass is still damp, I’ll just start with the front hedges,” Jim told him. Carlos smiled. “Good, Mr. Jim. Let me know if you need anything,” “Are you O—Mr. Cobblepot’s butler or something?” “No, no. I am head of security.” Carlos said, simply. Jim widened his eyes for just a moment, but righted himself quickly. Carlos nodded to him once, and walked back inside through a back door. Jim shook his head to clear it, and went inside the shed to pick up the hedge clippers. He hadn’t held one of these since before he went in the military, but it looked pretty standard. Nothing fancy, which Jim appreciated. He put on the gloves that he had shoved in his pocket when he got around to the front yard, and slipped his sunglasses on to shield his eyes from anything that might fly in them. Happened once when he was in high school, and that was enough, Jim thought. He slipped in the headphones that Harvey had lent him a while back that was attached to the only thing he kept from when he was with Barbara, his ipod. The music immediately flooded his ears, and he relaxed a little. Now, Jim remembered why he liked working with his hands so much. He yanked hard on the starter, and it came to life immediately. He set to work on the hedges, noticing they were really out of shape. Must be with all the rain, Jim thought. He hummed to himself as he worked.   Oswald didn’t usually wake up until late morning, considering his nights were rather late nowadays. However, he set his alarm for 8 am, wanting to make sure Jim had arrived. While he got dressed for the day, he sent for Carlos to meet him at the breakfast table. “Did you give him the instructions?” Oswald asked, taking a sip of his tea. “Yes, he finished with the hedges about a half hour ago. He insisted on weeding the front bed as well, which hasn’t been seen to.” Carlos told him. “Ah, well. Jim always liked to go above and beyond,” Oswald chuckled. “Pengy! Who is messing around in the yard?” He heard Ivy screech, and Oswald shut his eyes with the noise. “Screeching, Ivy. We talked about this,” “Sorry. But, who is that? He’s not touching the flowers!” Ivy sat at the table next to Oswald, and fixed him with a stare. “No, of course not. That’s our project together,” Oswald tried soothing her. Ivy was like the little sister he never had, and never knew he wanted. Ivy was so protective of her plants. “How is your latest project going?” “Oh, so awesome! You will never believe what this can do—“Ivy went off on a tangent, which is exactly what Oswald had been going for. Ivy was brought in some breakfast as well, continuing to talk through it. Her mind never tires for a moment, Oswald thought fondly.   About an hour or so later, Oswald wandered into the sunroom, next to Ivy’s greenhouse entrance and was debating on going to offer his assistance to her when he caught the sight of Jim on the lawn outside. His mouth went dry at what he saw; Jim was shirtless. “Oh, my,” Oswald breathed out. He knew he should quit staring, but he couldn’t help it. Jim was all hard muscle, glistening with sweat as he rode around in the hot midday sun on the mower. Oswald could get used to this sight. “What are we looking at?” He heard Ivy’s voice, and felt her walk up beside him. He couldn’t even respond before she saw his line of vision. “Oh, he’s a fox,” “Watch it, young lady!” Oswald scolded. Ivy might look older, but Oswald knew better. “Hey, a girl can look. You were looking,” Ivy threw back, poking him on the shoulder. “Much better than string bean. I mean, he was cute, sure…but look at his chest...” Oswald went red in the face. “Don’t you have work to do?” “Sor-ry,” Ivy drawled out in two syllables. “Just know it’s creepy to stare like that,” Then, her eyes widened and a grin split her face. Oswald didn’t like the look of it one bit. “What?” Oswald asked, in trepidation. “You should go bring him a cold drink. It’s so hot out there…I’m sure would appreciate it,” Ivy waggled her eyebrows and Oswald chuckled. “Ok, get those ideas out of your head, missy. Get back to what you were doing. Go on…shoo,” Oswald teased her. Ivy pecked a quick kiss to Oswald’s cheek, and skipped off to her greenhouse. He shook his head fondly at her back, but thought about what she said. He should bring Jim something to drink, right? He thought. He probably would appreciate it…he walked to the kitchen, and instructed Olga to get some of the lemonade she made yesterday together on a tray with some ice, and a towel. She raised her eyebrows at him at the towel comment, but didn’t say anything. When it was set up, Oswald motioned for her to follow him as he made his way out back to the patio, where Jim was. When he was sure Jim could see them, Oswald waved him over. “Just a sec!” Jim hollered over the noise of the mower, and rode it over to as close to the back patio as he could get. It had to be going on noon now, since the hedges took a while, and with the weeding he added in before he began on the lawn. Jim had to still weed whack by the fountains, and along the fence as well. He tried in vain to wipe some of the sweat off his forehead with his shirt he stuck in his back pocket, but his shirt was soaked. He walked up to where Oswald was standing. “I-I brought you some lemonade,” Oswald stammered out. He made sure his eyes stayed up on Jim’s face, and not on Jim’s bare chest. “Thank you.” Jim went over to the table to where Olga had sat down the tray and gulped down a full glass in one go. “That is good,” he told Olga. She nodded once and went back inside. Jim decided to sit down under the umbrella covered table for just a minute and take a breather. Oswald sat in the chair opposite him, and poured some lemonade for himself. “It got hot really quick,” “I tried to warn you,” Oswald said, chuckling. “I’m surprised you’re still out here, especially dressed like that,” Jim pointed to Oswald’s long sleeved shirt. “Used to it, I guess. Besides, you look cooled off a bit now,” Oswald joked, referencing to Jim’s shirtless state. “My shirt is soaked, and it was really uncomfortable. Plus, I thought I would be done by now, to be honest. I didn’t realize how big this place really was. I still have to weed whack after I’m finished with the lawn,” Jim explained, taking another drink. Oswald watched as he swallowed, Jim’s Adam’s apple bobbing up and down. His mouth went dry yet again, and he took a deep breath to steady his own thoughts. “I will pay you,” Oswald put in. Jim shook his head. “I insist,” Jim shook his head again. “This is not a favor! I must insist that I pay you for the work you’re doing!” “How about this. You can pay me with a few free drinks at your bar. Top shelf stuff. How’s that?” Jim suggested, smiling. “That’s not enough!” Oswald scoffed. He knew how extensive the work was, and how much he paid the other man that usually worked for him. A few free drinks was like tossing pennies in Jim’s direction, which was downright insulting. “It is to me. It’s fine.” Oswald rolled his eyes. He stood up to walk around the grounds a little under the ruse of inspecting, Jim following him. Truth was, he didn’t want to be away from Jim for a little while longer. They talked about the greenhouse that was coming along, thanks to Ivy and how Jim’s work was going for a few minutes, Jim and Oswald being comfortable in each other’s company. “Beautiful, isn’t it?” Oswald commented on the flowerbed with roses. “Ivy’s work?” Jim asked. “Of course. Nothing is going on, if that’s what you’re implying. She’s fifteen,” Oswald rose an eyebrow. “I know that, for God’s sake. I’m just happy that she has a safe place to stay,” Jim said. “You think she’s safe here?” Oswald asked, in disbelief. “I can tell you care about her from how you talked about her.” “She’s like a little sister. I will not let anything happen to her. She saved my life when…when I washed up in the river,” Oswald shook his head, ridding himself of the tight feeling in his chest. “That’s unbelievable.” Jim rose both of his eyebrows. “Not like I don’t believe she did, but its just—wow,” Oswald laughed, as they reached the mower. “Well, yes. I am still pretty wow about it, myself. I’ll let you get back to work. Let me know if you need anything,” Oswald began to turn to head back to the house. Jim stopped him with a touch to his wrist. When he turned around, Jim was grinning. “You want a ride?” “Excuse me? I can’t ride that!” Oswald exclaimed, pointing to the offending mower. Jim smirked. “You’re serious?” “As a heart attack, as Harvey would say,” Jim nodded. “It is a long walk back up there,” “I suppose it is.” Oswald sighed, and conceded. It would save his leg, he thought. “Where am I going to sit? There’s only one seat,” “Behind me. You’ll fit,” Jim told him. He climbed back up on the mower, before he could listen to the screaming part of his brain that asked just what the hell he thought he was doing. He helped Oswald climb up with a hand, and Oswald situated himself behind Jim, holding onto his shoulders. Jim put Oswald’s cane across his own laugh so it didn’t fall. “You better not let me fall,” Oswald growled. Jim laughed, and looked behind him over his shoulder. “Never.” Oswald felt a swoop in the pit of his stomach, to which he couldn’t put a name to. “Well good,” “Ready?” Jim asked, starting the mower again with a roar to life. “If you must, Detective. Ride on,” Oswald hollered over the noise, and he couldn’t help but chuckle. Feeling the hard muscle of Jim’s shoulders and being free to look down his back as he held onto him, made Oswald feel hot under his collar; and it wasn’t from the heat. He hadn’t felt this way about anyone since Ed. He didn’t even look in anyone’s direction like that, and he liked it that way. But, of course, Jim fucking Gordon had to bring that crashing to the ground because he took his damn shirt off, Oswald thought. When Oswald realized Jim wasn’t heading back to the house, he wrinkled his brow in confusion. “What are you doing? The house is that way!” He hollered over the noise. “Taking you for a ride!” Jim laughed. “Relax and roll up your sleeves. Don’t want you melting back there!” Oswald chuckled and took Jim’s advice and rolled his sleeves up of the jumper of this jumper to his elbows. “Where exactly are we going?” Oswald asked, holding onto Jim’s shoulders again. “Just once around the yard, then I’ll let you loose,” Jim joked. “Let me loose? What are you doing, holding me captive?” Oswald teased back. “As if I could,” “Oh, no…I am vicious when captured.” Oswald told Jim into his ear, making Jim shiver. Fuck, what am I doing? Jim screamed inside his head. Oswald felt the shiver, of course and scored one for himself in his head as a victory. “No, just figured you don’t get out enough these days. According to Zsasz you don’t,” Jim said, adjusting his sunglasses as they began to slip down his nose. They rode around for a few more minutes, before Jim took Oswald back. “Well, Zsasz is nosy and cares about me for some God forsaken reason. He says I need to get out more, but I don’t see the point,” Oswald told Jim once they reached the steps to the patio again. Jim hopped down first to help Oswald down. “I don’t either but Harvey keeps pressuring me to. It is good to have people who care,” “All it has gotten me in the past is heartbreak, Jim.” Oswald said sadly, shaking his head. “It doesn’t have to be that way,” Jim insisted, stepping closer to Oswald. Oswald sighed. “Yes it does. I can’t be hurt like that again.” Jim understood where he was coming from, but he hated to see Oswald so dejected for some reason. “After I’m done, would you like to have lunch? With me?” “You were serious about that?” Oswald asked, confused at the change in subject. “Well, yeah,” Jim said, shrugging. “If you’d like,” Oswald nodded, with a smile. “Let me finish up here, and I’ll see you in a bit,” Jim got back on the mower and went to start it up again. “Jim? I can have your shirt washed for you…if you’d like,” Oswald offered. “That would help, since I don’t think I want to eat shirtless,” Jim laughed, and pulled the shirt out of his back pocket. “I certainly wouldn’t mind,” Oswald’s eyes went wide as he realized what he said, and Jim’s face went a bit red. When Oswald looked back at him, Jim was smiling and shaking his head. He tossed Oswald the shirt, which the other man caught in his hand. “You have my favor now,” Jim teased, and started the mower and rode away. Oswald looked down to the shirt in his hands, and blushed even deeper. A favor, indeed.

[whatwouldfrogsdo]

Peeling Back the Layers (Part i: Chowder’s birthday)

“He didn't say for a reason and you forced it. Birthdays can be sensitive for some people, you know?”

Dex and Nursey talk after their fight on Chowder's birthday (parallel to Fresh Chapter 4)

This is the last day I'll be participating in NurseyDex week, because of various reasons, but to make up for it I'm posting two! (and who knows maybe I'll finally write these hockey games into the next chapter of Fresh to be posted and get it up before NurseyDex week is over because... reasons.)

Anyway, nominally the first is Nursey comforting Dex and the second is the other way around but actually this one I've tried to focus on both of them, and the next has some comfort from someone else as well

Content warnings for this chapter: - Grief//discussion of parental loss//mention of loss of a sibling - Implied family neglect (it's actually not true, but more on that next chapter) - Discussion of race and privilege etc. - Mention of homophobia

AO3

Will had figured out fairly early on that Nursey was messing with Chowder. It was slowly becoming their favorite game — to chirp their best friend who got worked up but still knew they liked him, while staying away from arguments with each other. Chowder didn’t seem like the sort of person who would hide his birthday for any reason other than to stop people making a fuss, so they figured that they could tease him about it without it causing any harm, and his reaction, though typically exaggerated, confirmed their suspicions. When Bitty found out anyway, though, more by their being too loud than anything else, Will suddenly doubted himself. He didn’t know everything about his new best friend and what if there was a reason that he had kept today a secret? What if their ability to turn the simplest of things into a competition and a fight had actually upset him? Will found himself struggling for breath as all the reasons he hated his own birthday flashed through his mind. So, he did the only thing that he could think of to keep his attention off his heart rate: he blamed Nursey.

“What the fuck. Chill, Poindexter, it's not—”

“He didn't say for a reason and you forced it. Birthdays can be sensitive for some people, you know?”

“For fuck’s sake, I know.”

“Oh, Chowder, honey did you not—” Bitty cut in.

“I just didn't want anyone to make a fuss. I do like my birthday.”

Will wanted to relax, but now that the doubts were swarming around his mind, he couldn’t help but worry that Chowder was just saying that, and the worst thing was that Nursey was still looking at him with that intense stare that he got sometimes when he wanted to make Will admit something. “Still your fault,” Will muttered in response to the stare.

“Lay off it. I wasn't even actually going to say anything. I'm not kidding when I say I know birthdays can be a sensitive thing.” When Will snorted, Nursey snapped. “Go on, then. What's your issue with birthdays? My parents have literally given each other presents on my birthday before and forgotten me. So don't try and preach to me about how they can be 'sensitive for some people'.”

His breath caught. It was the worst question to be asked for him anyway, but how could he reply when it would only look like he was trying to one-up Nursey? Not to mention that it was something he never talked about, and he definitely didn’t want to start here, with an audience no less. “I don't— Fuck you,” he stormed out, letting the door slam behind him.

Nursey’s words echoed in his mind as he walked down the road. Could it be true that the boy he had considered a spoiled brat, had actually been forgotten by his own parents on his birthday?

“Dex!”

It was Nursey’s voice, and Will scowled because this was the last thing he wanted to deal with when he had the alternative option of curling up in bed and crying because he missed his twin sister.

“Will, wait up. Please. I was just saying—”

Will snapped. “You were just saying what? That your parents don’t always buy you everything? Well at least you have fucking parents, Nurse, okay? You didn’t spend your twelfth birthday thinking about their funeral.  You haven't spent every year since reliving their death. ”

Will closed his eyes as soon as he had said it so that he didn’t have to look at Nursey’s reaction, or see that pitying look he knew all too well. He heard the scrape of pavement as if Nursey had started to trip, but the thud of him hitting the ground never came.

“Will.” Nursey’s voice was close. “Will, look at me, please.”

Will squeezed his eyes tighter and shook his head. Warm fingers brushed against his cheekbone, and then he was pulled into a hug where he ended up crying into Nursey’s shoulder.

“I’m so sorry,” Nursey murmured.

Will hiccupped. “Me too.”

“Can we — Will, we really need to talk about this. Not about your parents, if you don’t want to, but about us fighting like that when C—”

“Yeah.” Will pulled away. He felt sick to the stomach. “Yeah, let’s go home and talk.”

It had now been almost two months since they had shared a bed, despite having vaguely talked about a potential friends with benefits situation, but they now both curled up on Nursey’s bed, close enough that they didn’t have to watch the other’s expression when dealing with the difficult conversation.

“If we’re going to keep fucking, we have to sort our shit out in private and talk about things before we end up yelling at each other,” Nursey said into Will’s hair. “You’re the one who said that when we first started.”

It was a funny thing to say when they still hadn’t had sex since that first time; still not done more than occasional kissing after a fight or a kegster since that conversation. Will knew what Nursey meant, though. “I’m sorry. I think one minute we were just messing about and the next I was thinking about— Did Bitty come and talk to you earlier?”

“This afternoon? Yeah.”

“You think I’m privileged. You’re always going on about it around other people in the team, but—” He screwed his eyes up as tears threatened once more.

“But at least I have parents,” Nursey finished, with a bitter tone.

“Yeah. And you have money, too. And yet you still applied for the scholarship.”

“Shit.” Nursey leaned his chin on the top of Will’s head. “That was— Look, I know you see me as privileged and entitled, but you’re probably the first person I’ve ever spent a lot of time with who thought that. I grew up around people who were more privileged and more entitled and if not richer, at least in the same class, except that they were usually white. I heard you bring up the scholarship and I thought here we go, here’s another white kid who thinks he’s entitled to the world, and I got angry, because I’ve spent my whole life with people assuming all sorts of things about me and then taking opportunities like that away from me because of those bullshit assumptions. I— I’m sorry. It wasn’t fair to make you feel like you might lose out on the scholarship just because of a rich kid trying to prove a point, but yes you're privileged. And the fact that I'm rich is not the same as you being white. It just isn't. They're not things we can compare. It's not like I get so many privilege points for my parents' incomes, and you get some for the color of your skin and being Christian, and then I get a few more for going to a private school. That's not how it fucking works.”

Will nuzzled closer to Nursey's collarbone. “Sorry,” he croaked.

“You have a lot of privileges, which I don’t know if you always realize,” Nursey continued. Will bit on his lip to stop himself from replying too soon. “I thought you were starting to try but then you go and put a Republican sticker on your laptop and I don’t know what to think of that.”

“I did that because my foster family rang.”

“What?”

“My foster family. When I said I was going to Samwell, it was only ever because of the scholarship, but they still made sure I knew that they didn’t really approve. But that they’d still let me go back there at Christmas, and next summer and see my siblings, because they knew it wasn’t like I was one of— one of ‘those gays’ or anything.”

Nursey sucked in a breath. “That’s why you won’t come out? Because of some asshole—”

“Because my sisters need me. I mean… they're not really my sisters, just foster siblings but I always considered them more than that. I was even there when Chloë was born. But sometimes I worry. At any time, they could stop letting me go back. It’s not like they signed any contract or anything to still have me around after I turned eighteen.”

“So the sticker—” Nursey trailed off, waiting for an explanation.

“I thought if I can go back over break and show them that I got involved in Samwell Republicans, it would be okay. I’m not political. I’ve never had time to even think about it. I guess, yeah, I’m a Republican because that’s what I grew up with the most, and as far as the Buchard family are concerned that’s what they have to think I am. They don’t need to know that I just stole the sticker and that I’m really fucking gay. Of course it makes them assholes that they’d care, but—”

“Okay. I get it. It doesn’t— I’m— I’ll lay off about the whole coming out thing, at least?”

Will let out a sigh, and sat up so that he could look Nursey in the eyes. He had ended up so far down the bed that he had to turn around completely to be able to look at him. “Thank-you. I will try more to understand with the whole privilege thing. And I guess we all have our family issues.”

Nursey sighed. “I don’t have family issues. Not really. Not— But privilege— yeah, if you can understand that. Not just relying on me and Ransom to inform you on issues, or thinking you can get away with ignorance. It’s kind of a privilege you can be unpolitical in the first place.”

Will bit his lip. He hadn’t considered it like that before. “Right. So I’ll read more about it, and educate myself on all the civil rights stuff. And I’m sorry you got treated like that, and that I brought those memories back. That I contributed to that. That I still am. You— You deserve to be appreciated.”

The silence that followed dragged on for so long that Will had to put a hand on Nursey's cheek and turn his head to check if he was crying. He wasn’t, but when their eyes crossed, he offered up a strained smile. “Thanks.”

“Yeah. We, uh, we should go and apologize to Chowder?”

“Mm. Hey, one other thing first? Putting all the blame on me for fights? I know it's self-defense or whatever, but—” He shrugged, and never finished his sentence.

Will shifted uncomfortably. “Yeah. I’m sorry. I don’t know— No, that's a lie, I do know why I did that, but it was shitty and unnecessary. I won’t again, I promise.”

“Thanks. What should we do for Chowder’s birthday?”

“That’s today.”

“And Target should still be open if we take my car.”

Will jumped up suddenly. “Oh my God, they had shark-themed dinnerware last time I was in.”

“Perfect. We could do an aquarium trip, too? I think he’d appreciate it if he thought we were trying to be friends.”

Will pulled a face. “How much does that cost?”

“Okay, so the aquarium trip is my present to Chowder, and I’m paying for us to go and be good friends there, as well. You can buy the shark things.”

“Derek—”

“Will.”

“ Fine. ”

Nursey smiled smugly. “Good. Now how about I go and pick them up, and you can go to the Haus first. We should probably apologize separately, and no offence but you are the one who left all angrily so you should probably clear the air first.”

[musical-chick-13]

Stream-of-Consciousness as I watch Sherlock 4x02

Yeah, John, you better feel bad. You better hate what happened because she deserved better from you and literally everyone else.

Ugh. Literally two seconds in, and I don’t think I can do this. I loved Mary so much.

Wow, John magically gained some self-awareness.

Once again, Mary is the one with the most common sense, and she’s just a hallucination.

This new therapist is the best.

Beethoven’s Ninth. Of course. I personally think Sherlock would be more of a Berlioz guy, but everyone loves Beethoven.

Amnesia drug? Really? Okay, we’re going there, then. I don’t know how realistic this is, but, okay.

I like this villain. Not like him, because creepy, but he’s interesting in a way that CAM really was not.

No. No, is that…? Oh, God, no. I’m not ready for this. I refuse. I refuse, I refuse, I refuse.

Wait…is Sherlock speaking from experience? Was he suicidal? Or is this just another thing he knows?

Mrs. Hudson is such a mom. I love her.

I support Sherlock-Faith friendship 150%. Give me more.

HAHAHAHAHAHA. Sherlock’s walking path. That is the BEST thing that has ever happened on this show. Period.

Anyone. Oh my God. I…I have no words. That was a great fucking plot twist.

MRS. HUDSON?!

Mrs. H calling out John’s casual ableism. God bless. I love her so much.

YES. YES YES YES YES YES. I AM SO HERE FOR PEOPLE GETTING MAD AT JOHN RIGHT NOW. GOD BLESS MRS. HUDSON.

He…You abducted…Okay…Um…I don’t support that. Please don’t. Kidnapping and holding people at gunpoint is bad.

Okay. Things in this episode are hitting a little too close to home.

Oh, character development is a beautiful thing.

Yay Great Hiatus is being addressed, good. Also, no, John. You don’t know anything.

Yeah. I’m still bitter. I will always be bitter. I wrote a meta about it. Go read it.

DONE HAVING THE WORLD EXPLAINED TO YOU BY A MAN AREN’T WE ALL THANK GOD

Oh no. Weeks? They’ll have a hard time magically explaining this away with out-of-context medical concepts.

Also, kudos to Molly for recognizing that drug addiction is actually a very serious issue and calling Sherlock out on his disassociation.

(Ugh. No wonder I relate to Sherlock so much.)

CEREAL KILLER OH. MY. FUCKING. GOD. THIS EPISODE IS SO EXTRA I LOVE IT.

John, please stop making jokes about Sherlock’s drug problem. You aren’t funny. You’re just stupid.

Oh, he’s so creepy.

Culverton. Culverton Smith, I mean.

One dialogue, two discussions, one of my favorite tropes. I am living.

Is Nurse Cornish being there for seven years important?

I literally have no idea. I’m just guessing.

WHO DID HE CONTACT WHAT IS GOING ON

Wait! I know H.H. Holmes! He had, like, a whole hotel thing during…the World’s Fair? (I don’t want to go look that up right now) where he killed a whole shit-ton (Actual Measurement TM) of people. He was super creepy. Good choice.

I was literally just about to ask where the fuck Faith was because I miss her.

Wow, there are a lot of similarities between my experience with depression and Sherlock’s experience with addiction. Which I always kind of felt, hearing stories from addicts and articulating my own experiences, but this is…*exhales* The nasty voice in my head sounds a lot like Culverton Smith messing with John. Very effective villain. 10/10.

Is this. Wait. No. I know it’s not what we think it is, but I have no idea what it could possibly be. AAAAAAGGGGHHHH.

…Twins?

Oh, no. Oh, Sherlock. I’m so sorry. I…I know you’re kind of an asshole, but…you don’t deserve this. No one deserves this. God, addiction sucks. I still think Smith is a serial killer, though.

“Favorite room?”

Definitely a serial killer.

John. You hit him? Did you avoid his nose and teeth? (I’m sorry, everything goes back to Irene. I miss her so much.)

Wow, guess he didn’t. Is that supposed to be a subtle representation of the change in their relationship? Am I just thinking too hard? Probably.

*screams into void* MAAAAAAAAARRRRRRYYYYYYYYY

I. Love. Mary. I love wife Mary, I love assassin Mary, I love hallucination Mary. If you don’t like Mary, you’re wrong, sorry, I don’t make the rules.

Tag yourself. Mycroft is me. Sending spooks out to look after my family is exactly the kind of ridiculous shit I’d pull if I were in Mycroft’s position.

“There’s another one, isn’t there?” THERE it is.

GOD, I love Mrs. Hudson.

Petition for Mrs. H to be Sherlock’s new partner if John won’t come back. I’d watch the hell out of that.

NO. I DON’T CARE IF YOU’RE LYING (which you might be), SHERLOCK YOU AREN’T ALLOWED TO SAY “I WANT YOU TO KILL ME” FUCK THIS STUPID SHOW

Aw, she let him borrow her car. :)

Uh, I think killing people makes you a dark person, dude.

Wait, so is Sherlock purposely making himself addicted to drugs so John will help him? Wow, that’s fucked up.

“Make people into things so you can own them.” Wow. This is so psychologically interesting and dark and, oh, goodness. A+ villain.

Why is he confessing, there are fifteen minutes left in this episode what weird thing will go wrong?

“It is a currency I don’t know how to spend?!?!?!?” I’m going to die. You know what, no. I’m not going to die, I’m already fucking dead.

Was that. Oh. My. God.

Was that Irene’s text alert?

OH MY FUCKING GOD

HOLY SHIT

WHAT? WHAT! WHAT?!?!?!?!?!?!?!?!?!?!?!?!?!?!?!

THE POSH BOY LOVES THE DOMINATRIX YES HE FUCKING DOES THAT’S WHAT I’M FUCKING TALKING ABOUT

ADLOCK IS REAL ADLOCK IS SO REAL

I CAN’T DEAL. I. CANNOT. DEAL. I AM LITERALLY SCREAMING.

SHE SENT HIM A BIRTHDAY MESSAGE OH MY GOD I…

THAT IS SO FUCKING CUTE AND I AM UTTERLY DEAD, BUT I HAVE ALSO NEVER BEEN SO ALIVE

THIS. CONVERSATION. IS. EVERYTHING.

Yes, parallels. Parallels are good.

Lol at John telling Sherlock to go after his woman. ;)

“She taught me to be the man she already thought I was?” And that’s what Irene makes Sherlock? Oh, God. I am actually hyperventillating.

Only texting. Still mad, but, oh, thank GOD. You are still on my list, John Watson, but I don’t want to strangle you any more, I just want to punch you in the face.

Also, this should have been addressed with alive Mary, but I’m glad it’s being addressed at all, actually.

Yes, John, please do get the hell on with it.

WTF, there are still seven minutes left in this episode. What more could they possibly fucking do?

Yes, of course he texts back. You fucking liar. :)

God, I love this OTP.

Yes, John, your baby is perfect-but because she came from Mary.

Lol possessed by the devil. I want to see that case.

Ooh, so real paper? Interesting…as my father would say, “The thot plickens.”

Mycroft and Lady Smallwood? Hmmm…the idea of Mycroft in any sort of romantic or sexual relationship is…odd/slightly uncomfortable to me, I always saw him as aro-ace. But, I don’t write the show.

MISS ME (I miss knowing what’s going on.)

Oh. My. God. Therapist = bus lady = Faith.

SHE’S THEIR SISTER

WHAT

WHAT?!?!?!?!

Okay, shot cliffhanger.

How can they possibly resolve everything in one more episode?

And, more importantly? When will Sherlock take John’s advice?

Wow, this episode was…a lot.

But. Female villain. About damn time.

I’m actually excited for next week.

Good job, guys, I actually felt this was a good episode.

I. Am. Exhausted.

[pmd-explorers-of-oblivion]

Canon(ish) RP - Ship Spats

(Artemis-mod here.  Occasionally, in the downtime between sessions, we tend to mess about and do roleplays as our characters over on our Discord server.  It works particularly well for stuff that wouldn’t otherwise be particularly interesting to play in sessions--like a looooong journey by boat!  So, without further ado, here are the logs from those assorted RPs.)

Irwin

 *Irwin scurries across the deck, leans over the starboard rail, and hurls into the water below*

Giga (Danica)

 "Uh... Irwin?" quickly climbs down from the crow's nest "Are you okay?"

Irwin

 *he's draped over the railing motionless* Uuuuunnnggh...

Giga (Danica)

 "Ah. Seasick?"

Irwin

 *he slowly turns his head to the side.  He looks like he could be a zombie.* First time... on a boat...

Giga (Danica)

 "Ah. Still need your sea legs then. Don't worry, it'll pass." leans onto the rail peering out into the water.

Irwin

 I don't know how you do it.  It's got to be so much worse up there on the lookout thingy.

Giga (Danica)

 "I just focus on everything else. Honestly, being out on the open sea is reassuring to me."

Irwin

 I thought it would be fun... but now I just want to get back to land.

Giga (Danica)

 "Well, with any luck, we won't be stuck in the Temple of Faith as long as the Temple of Time... Seriously where does Absolute get his stuff for this place?"

Irwin

 Yeah, I'm a little nervous about what we may find there.  I'm glad to be helping Casia though.  I may have been dragged here against my will, but I can appreciate what Absolute does. *he slowly looks up at the land in the distance* And besides, this place is pretty beautifURP- *he leans over and throws up again* *he then proceeds to crumple down into a ball on the deck* Euugh...  Do me a favor, and just knock me out until we get there...

Giga (Danica)

 "I uh... would rather not take the risk of accidentally taking your memories..."

Irwin

 Maybe I'll be better off below deck... *he proceeds to crawl away ever so slowly*

Giga (Danica)

 winces as Irwin crawls away, then looks out at the sea "...wonder how Rippy's doing..."

Sarah Blossom

 she's been enjoying herself..the little cheater she's FLOATING so she doesn't get seasick how whos doing Dani?

Giga (Danica)

 "Oh, hey Sarah. Well, my Samurott Riptide for one..." Puts her head against the railing "...he must be worried sick..."

Sarah Blossom

 looks over at her and leans on the rail smiling happily ahh..you got "family" back home to...i hope my crews doing ok....but I'm sure they're fine!

Giga (Danica)

 "I hope so... Rippy has a tendency to... uh... rush into things if something's wrong, to say the least..." turns to Sarah "What about you? You got folks or Pokemon waiting back home?"

Sarah Blossom

 laughs ah..bon bon is like that....but she thinks on it looks to her "mostly pokemon at this point....knowing my luck...but i call them my family, 5 of em and an egg to be exact!

Giga (Danica)

 "Oh, really now? Who, and what, are they respectively? If you don't mind me asking."

Sarah Blossom

 smiles oh no trouble, in no order really, a sylveon ribbons, an espeon Psy, Nebula the clefable...who was my mom's mon by the way, chance the blissey and bon bon the lopunny

Giga (Danica)

 "Huh... interesting. Riptide's the only Pokemon I've ever really had, per say, and he's been with me for... well, since my earliest Plasma days, I think... way back when he was an Oshawott..."

Sarah Blossom

 "aww that's sweet...nebula and chance have been with me since before i could hold a screwdriver!, Chance was a gift to me when I  turned 2...according to my dad...Nebula and chance might be most worried...but i love all of them...back when the two were happiny and cleffa

Giga (Danica)

 "Heh... that's nice." Looks out towards the sea (again) "Rippy was apparently found from an abusive trainer. I was assigned to take care of him while I was still getting basic training and other such courses... Wow, that feels like such a long time ago..."

Sarah Blossom

 smiles looking out to sea once more "Ouch...I...I really hate abusive trainers....i found psy and ribbons as Eevee's ....i was...few years before I was trainer material...two trainers left them and they were scared....nurse joy had mentioned it when we went to carefor the others....i saw them...they weren't causing trouble...they just needed a snack...they followed like a lost lillipup for the whole day!"she giggled..."it feels a lot longer then.... she blushed sorry..i..i uhh ..rambled

Giga (Danica)

 Shakes head "It's fine, if anything, the rambling is a nice change from... well, y'know."

Sarah Blossom

 laughs haha yeah....adventure...it is nice...plus..I uhh..haven't gotten a chance to really talk to you since....like we first met

Giga (Danica)

 "Yeah... considering we've had to spend most of our time and attention is spent trying not to lose ourselves... well, I'd say that it's a fair statement to make..."

Sarah Blossom

 "It's..putting it nicely...meanwhile I..spent my time wandering and my mind drifting!...Only just recently did you guys help me set straight in my mind

Giga (Danica)

 "Glad to be of some help then. I just hope that we'll be sane at the end of this..."

Sarah Blossom

 "ha, me to, no offense but..you Dani my girl..drive me a tiny bit bonkers with some of your antics"

Giga (Danica)

 "Oh?" smirks slightly "I have no idea what you're talking about."

Sarah Blossom

 "i call shenanigans, you egged me on to talk to irwin....and he felt the same way..because you wanted a few extra berries....or the fact you are my wing girl 98% of the time....*raises a brow smirking *

Giga (Danica)

 "Sarah, Sarah, Sarah..." still smirking mischievously "...it was ridiculously obvious that you two were pining for each other. I'm just grateful that it happened sooner rather than... well, too late..."

Sarah Blossom

 "It is the best thing you got me to do!...We realized how much we wanna get out of here...now we don't EVER want to evolve... I'm letting Irwin keep the stone until we find a way to split it in two halfs and make it wearable...and uhmm...*looks around..making sure no one is listening(if anyone wants to try to listen perception roll!!!!~) We uhh...we..kinda got into a talk in the tent the other night...

Irwin

 *the distinct sound of a Quilava stairs can be heard in the distance, followed by a ghostly wail*

Giga (Danica)

 "Wow already at that phase of the relationship, huh?" Insert Sarah's reaction here "I'm kidding! I'm kidding! But do go on."

Sarah Blossom

 EXTREME BLUSHING GO AND WING FLUTTER hahahaha!!!  I HAVE NO IDEA WHAT YOU'RE TALKING ABOUT.....nono....she whispers..we umm...kissed....

Giga (Danica)

 "Ohoho~" Leans in closer, an interested glimmer in Danica's eyes "You have my full attention ma'am."

Sarah Blossom

 she's blushing umm....we kissed..o-on...t-the lips..soft voice

Giga (Danica)

 beams "Well, well, well~ Now this conversation just got infinitely more interesting~"

Sarah Blossom

 &*shes blushing so hard"s-shush!!!....just..i...on the cheek..he did the same..and..it sorta...happened

Giga (Danica)

 "Well then, how was it?"

Sarah Blossom

 blushed how was it..umm..well uhh..i dunno...i mean it's..it's just a kiss right?

Artemis the Absol

 The Dark-type makes his way above deck.  It seems like he'd been suffering some of the same issues Irwin had been--poor bastards.  "Hi, girls...urp."

Sarah Blossom

 turns around huh..oh look it's our giant amount of fluff that's mega evod....were you listening to us?

Giga (Danica)

 "Nice to see you too Artemis. Also, I believe you do have a minor explanation to give about... well..." points at Artemis' floof wings

Sarah Blossom

 you mean the fact he mega evolved?

Giga (Danica)

 "Wait, you know what he did?" is genuinely confused

Sarah Blossom

 looks at her  WHAT?! you've never heard of mega evolution?!

Giga (Danica)

 "Uh... admittedly, Pokemon related stuff isn't my strong suit..."

Artemis the Absol

 "Mega Evolution?  It's..."  He says, giving a bit of a noncommittal shrug.  "It's something I've been able to do for a while, honestly.  It's uncommon in the tribe, but not unheard of.  I don't use it much since it takes a whole, whooooole lot outta me.  And I can’t fly, even with--"  A rather rough wave rocks the ship, and Arty grips the railing of the boat tightly, wrenching his eyes shut.  "Bleeegghhhh..."

Sarah Blossom

 "well..you DID say you weren't from kalos..so i guess you don't know,,,"she laughs "it's the bond between pokemon and trainer, some pokemons bond is so strong..some have the capability to do whats called Mega evolution a temporary step further of evolution its seen as a trainer has truly bonded with its pokemon as one being... only a number of them can do such a thing...but those that are able to wield the mega stone with its pokemon can be even stronger than before... taking control of it isn't easy..but those who have the right mindset should feel as if they and their pokemon are one

Artemis the Absol

 Artemis squints and peers at her with suspicion.  "You keep saying that word.  What in the world is a 'Trainer', exactly?  Something to do with humans and Pokemon together, that's about all I can tell."  He says, hiding the venom in his tone.  Mostly.

Sarah Blossom

 She speaks of it as if it's pure bliss a trainer...something I am considerably..catching pokemon..but as friends..to perform with me on stage..her voice went from sweet to bitter sour...a mean glare in her eyes do you have a problem with that fluffy boy? (gotta roll intimidate you gotta focus roll arty) (for me that's....2d6 and your focus is what? @Artemis the Absol !roll 2d6

RPBotBOT  @Sarah Blossom rolled 10. (6 + 4 = 10)

Sarah Blossom  (OH MY GOD)

Giga (Danica)

 steps in between both Sarah and Artemis "Ladies, ladies, you're both beautiful, but I believe Fluffy the Terrible deserves an explanation, at least."

Artemis the Absol  (Focus and Intimidate should both be 4d6 iirc)

Sarah Blossom  (your intimidate should be disadvantaged because you're too fluffy (and she went from sweet to...BOOM SOUR

Vivian

There is a loud series of clacking noises ringing from across the way. An automated voice rings out. Sarah, are you picking on Artemis?

Sarah Blossom

 and she's back to sweet what no!...i could just sense the venom in his voice when he said trainer.*she sounds happy once more

Giga (Danica)

 "Oh hi Vivian. Not feeling too seasick, I assume?"

Vivian  !roll d20

RPBotBOT  @Vivian rolled 17.

Sarah Blossom  (tip:you can type just ! roll it's still a 20)

Artemis the Absol  !4d6

RPBotBOT  @Artemis the Absol rolled 12. (5 + 4 + 2 + 1 = 12)

Sarah Blossom  (ok umm.your..your mildly startled by that sudden tone change)

Vivian  She takes a few seconds to type out her response. No. This trip has been a lot easier than I thought. She grips her phone tightly as the boat sways. That doesn't mean the trip hasn't been without its problems, though...

Artemis the Absol

The floofdoggo is relatively outwardly unfazed by her sudden change in demeanor, though the sudden venom leaves him a bit rattled.  Jeezum, temperamental much?   "If you say so."  He says shortly, clearly unconvinced, though he'd rather not press the issue.   "...I'm inclined to agree with Vivian on this one.  I was worried about wasting time, about not doing anything to try and find the rest of my family, but..."  Artemis grimaces as he recalls the impromptu reunion with Mercury.

Vivian Vivian furrows a brow. Who?

Sarah Blossom not temperamental, just one protective girl for her pokemon, don't test her"we won't waste time..vivian had you told me you wanted to get back to your trainer....well you  like i said remind me of someone...every trip has hiccups...but we're making it through height

Giga (Danica) "...the ultra fast Absol, right? He had a bell, didn't he? Sounds pretty similar to what was happening at Lilac Town..."

Sarah Blossom "yeah that absol was wicked fast!

Giga (Danica) "...dare I ask, but are any more members of your family special snowflakes like him?"

Vivian Vivian types on her phone, eyes apparently disenchanted with the conversation. And here I thought you all just forgot about me. she continues typing, not looking up. By the way, next time there's a trap, try a little harder not to let us get captured.

Giga (Danica) gives Sarah a certain look. :/

Sarah Blossom looks away i was looking! i didn't detect anything!...looks away pouts i have a hard time seeing at times..these goggles are gonna make like easier...

Giga (Danica) "Remind me to upgrade the Trap Harvester next time we're in Casia..."

Sarah Blossom "yeah snivy was wondering about it...you never got to speak to him i guess

Giga (Danica) "Corwyn did rush us out of town pretty quickly..."

Sarah Blossom "yeah..i wasn't to happy about that..

Vivian Vivian scowls, as loud clacking emanates. He doesn't seem keen on warning us about traps, either. She continues. I think we should consider throwing them overboard before we get to the place.

Giga (Danica) "Big problem though, they know where the hell we are. And where the Temple is, at that fact..."

Sarah Blossom "viv..you..do know they can swim right?

Artemis the Absol "I didn't expect to meet with Mercury like that--that 'ultra fast Absol' as Danica put it."  Artemis says, nodding to Vivian as he explains.  "Mnh...a lot of them tend to have markings like that.  Gilgamesh is a bit like me, more of an all around-er.  Scathach--Scatty--specializes in bladed weapons.   Bit weird for an Absol, but..."   Another violent wave rocks the boat, and Arty's face turns even more green.  "I'll...be right back.  See if I can't find more of those little tablets Kevin gave me..."   Down below deck he goes--holy shit IRWIN DON'T DIE BRO.

Vivian How well can they swim while packed into a storage crate?

Giga (Danica) "Vivian please, I'd rather not get lost at sea after a mutiny..."

Sarah Blossom smirks save your evil for later..use that on plasma for me ok dear?

Vivian Who?

Sarah Blossom "oh sorry..eherm..those evil goons who kidnapped us before

Vivian I'm supposed to fight evil with evil? Doesn't it add up to being one big evil?

Giga (Danica) "The recruitment standard has really gone down in the last year..."

Sarah Blossom "heh, it's because they all made a mad dash for world ending team flare*she jokes

Vivian Vivi shrugs. Team this, team that. Is everyone on a team these days?

Giga (Danica) "Apparently? Heck, technically we're our own team at this point..." ¯\_(ツ)_/¯

Sarah Blossom "yeah but we're the good guys!

Vivian Says the absol bully. Vivi gives a blunt look as the message plays.

Giga (Danica) "Well, personally I'd rather keep Plasma from essentially killing people mentally..." "And uh, from accidentally destroying the fabric of time, or messing with things that they shouldn't..."

Sarah Blossom "hah..least your team isn't trying to start a war that could end all humanity

Irwin *Irwin lies at the bottom of the stairs, watching as the silhouette of the Mega Absol descends toward him*  ...An angel...? *his eyes take a moment to adjust* .......oh........

Artemis the Absol The Disaster Pokemon waves a paw in front of his face, pulling and tugging him back up to his feet.  "They warned you about those stairs, man.  What with how rickety and shaky this ship can--urp."  He quickly cuts off his chiding, a wave of nausea hitting him.  "Ok, nevermind.  Let's get to Kevin.  Get you checked out and get seasickness away.  Seasick bad."

Irwin Thanks.  *Irwin sways, and leans up against Artemis steady himself* You're not... looking too hot yourself there.

Artemis the Absol "L-like I said.  Kevin can help."  Artemis murmurs, biting his lip and rolling his shoulders, letting the Quilava rest a bit more of his weight against his side.  He's a big boy floof, he can handle this.   A few twists and turns later and Arty noses the far door open... aaaand no Kevin?  Lovely.   "Sonofa..."

Irwin That's okay... *he stumbles his way to one of the beds* Only medicine I need... is a bucket... *he practically falls into the bed* and some water...     I'm no...  sissy... How 'bout you?  You need me... to take care of you? *he chuckles a bit, but it quickly turns to heaving*

Artemis the Absol Arty shakes his head and grins, giving him a light pet on the back before moving to rummage through some of the things on Kevin's desk.  They're sure to be there somewher---aha!  "Oh thank Arceus."  He murmurs, spearing the old, oooooold packet of tablets with a claw.  "Saw him take one of these earlier.  I asked about it and he said they help with seasickness...  bit odd for a Water-type to have, but he did say he used to be human...somehow..."  The Dark-type shrugs, confused--though now really isn't the time to fiddle with that.  NOMF.

Irwin Well hey!  Don't hog 'em... *he stretches his arm out as far as he can without moving his body*

Artemis the Absol "Since you asked so nicely."  He deadpans right back, spearing a second one and plopping it down into his outstretched paw.  "Enjoy."  Artemis says, grinning to himself.  "I'll go ahead and head back up.  See you there?"

Irwin *he stuffs the pill in his mouth and rolls onto his back to help him swallow* Nyeh... Yeah... I'll just... give it a chance to kick in.

Artemis the Absol Arty pauses for a moment, then nods back to the Fire-type, flaring out his wings to keep his balance as he pushes through the ship's winding corridors.  Only a few minutes had passed since he'd left before he finally pokes his head up above deck.  "And back.   Irwin should be here shortly."

Sarah Blossom looks backpoor irwin..i feel bad he's getting so sea sick

Artemis the Absol "Eh, dunno why Kevin didn't' give him any of those lil' pill thingies, then."  Artemis says nonchalantly, shuffling his 'wings'.

Sarah Blossom "well..i guess not...i got a little dizzy at first..but i'm fine now

Irwin *Irwin carefully climbs back up the stairs and greets the others* Hey guys, I'm feeling... a lot... *he runs back to the railing and throws up*

Artemis the Absol Artemis can't help but frown at that.  Maybe they simply aren't as effective for the Fireself?  "Eh, give it a bit to kick in...I guess.  Where were we, again?  Something about...special snowflakes?"

Sarah Blossom "that was all dani

Artemis the Absol "Where'd she wander off to...?  Odd."  Artemis murmurs, frowning and shaking his head with a scowl.  All over the place, this team.  "Was there something you wanted to know, then?  You had that kinda look on your face."  He says, gesturing vaguely towards her.

Sarah Blossom "what me?....well...you seemed...bitter at trainers specifically..

Artemis the Absol "Forgive me if I'm distrustful of humans."  The Dark-type says, growling and baring his fangs.  "Especially since this group we're fighting, all the humans turned Pokemon, they were 'Trainers' too, weren't they?"

Artemis the Absol Artemis rolls his eyes and shakes his head, snapping his jaws shut menacingly.  "And how, exactly, is that any different than the rest of you, beating them to near unconsciousness and taking them from their homes?!"

Irwin Hey hey hey!  Don't snap at her!  I know you just went through something horrible, and I'd be mad too, but we need to be able to trust each other if we're going to make it through whatever's ahead of us. I'm not a trainer, so if that's what's nagging you most, then at least trust me to start. *he leans back against the railing and closes his eyes* And try to keep in mind that this isn't just about your tribe, or my team.  We've seen others being controlled like your friend back there, including a family of young Totodile.  We need to work together to stop this.

Artemis the Absol Arty growls, but he can't deny the logic in his words.  "When we get to shore, we're going to need to have one hell of a heart-to-heart.  And no, NO PUNS!"  He says, quickly regretting his choice of words.  "That's...only for very close friends and loved ones."

Irwin *Irwin looks like he's about to say something, but instead he just slumps down and sits on the deck* If you don't want to talk any more right now, I won't make you.  But don't judge us.  Some of us have been through a lot.  At least let our future actions speak for us.

Adrian St. Artiel "How are we different?" Adrian, with worn bound sketchbook in hand and propped up against the mast, glances nonchalantly at the agitated absol before shifting his gaze back to his work. "For starters, we aren't ALL trainers."

Artemis the Absol Arty stops to the far side of the deck, tail swishing angrily through the air, and he digs his claws into the railing.  "Fine.   Fine..."  He murmurs, lidding his eyes and forcing himself to take a few deep breaths.  That's the other reason he doesn't Mega Evolve often-otional.  "If you're not trainers, then what ARE you?"

Irwin ... *he looks up to the sky* We're Team Wayfinder.  Visitors from various lands, on a mission to rescue and protect the inhabitants of Casia from Team Plasma.

Adrian St. Artiel "I can't speak for the rest, but I've never captured nor battled with a single pokemon... least not until becoming one."

Irwin Same here.  I've almost never even interacted with Pokemon growing up.  I don't even know what type of Pokemon you are, now that you've evolved.  This shouldn't matter though.  I'm not saying we're perfect.  We're all flawed, and will do dumb things, but we're trying our best. We never asked to come here, but we all chose to stay to help. Anyway.... How's that drawing coming along, Adrian?

Giga (Danica) climbs back down from the Crow's nest

Adrian St. Artiel "Adequately." he responds, half brushing the poor fire type off and half too disheartened in his work to respond otherwise.

Artemis the Absol "From my understanding, that Team is what you became after getting stuck here."  He says, putting a bit of a point on it.  "Even so... you...mngh."  Artemis stifles a swear.  Why are words eluding him this evening?   Damnit!  "As for what Pokemon I am, I'm still me.  Still an Absol.  Can't even fly with these things, as much as I might want to."   The Dark-type says, gesturing to and fluttering those 'wings' of his.  "Temporary boost in strength, to put it simply."

Giga (Danica) "Honestly, it's not something I see in Unova very often..." "...or at all..."

Irwin I... can't say I follow.  It happened at a good time at least.  Speaking of which, I'm sorry you had to fight your friend back there. *he holds his paws together and stares at the deck* I don't think I'd have the heart to do that. *he trails off and begins mumbling to himself* If I had known Jack was......

Artemis the Absol Arty tenses up and shoots him a pained grin, baring his fangs once more.  "Bit closer than just 'friend', but I appreciate the concern.  Mercury's my half-brother.  Same mom"  He explains simply.  "And now he's disappeared after that fight... I KNEW I should've...!"

Giga (Danica) "Whoa now!" steps in a bit closer "Look, judging from how you're reacting, I'd say he's pretty close to you, huh? ...we'll find them. If we've run into him once, then I'm more than certain we'll find him again, and more than likely, we'll find the rest of your family not far behind..." Irwin *Irwin stares off in the distance, now with a wide eyes expression of shock* He was your... actual brother?? *he curls up a bit, looking pretty depressed* I... you... *he pauses as he tries to find the words* ...I'm... so sorry.  Don't worry, I'm sure he OK...  If he got away, then he must be.

Artemis the Absol "Maybe not as close as most other families, but with how much we both care for Mom, yeah, we're close."  Artemis says, trying and failing to stifle a low sniffle.  He'd been strong and brave during the fight, but adrenaline was on his side then.  "As glad as I was to see him, to get some kind of a clue, with how he was acting, with those other...twins?  Copies of him?"  He says, stamping a paw on the deck.  "Part of me is afraid to see what they've done with the others.  He was always fast, but THAT kind of speed... I've never seen nor heard of anything that quick, nor strong.  Maybe...once, twice I've seen something even getting close to that level."

Giga (Danica) "Hmm... I wonder... he had a bell around his neck, right? That Dewott at Lilac... he had one too, and I remember he was trying to get it off of him..."

Irwin If that's true... we should at least try and get that off of him.  Though you weren't wearing a bell when you fell under their control Danica.  As for his speed, we have seen a lot of fast Pokemon when dealing with Team Plasma.  They were doing research on manipulating time, back when they had that staff Adrian carries with him.  I wonder if they learned how to do it without the amulet... If we do have to fight him again, I think Adrian can get him down to a manageable speed. Maybe we can even capture him safely.

Giga (Danica) "Speaking of those powers... try not to get into too much trouble. I haven't been able to use mine after what happened at Town..."

Irwin Did you use it in town?  I hadn't even noticed.

Giga (Danica) "...that's because I used it on you Irwin..."

Irwin ..what? *he laughs* Did I fall into the well or something?

Giga (Danica) "Well... you aren't wrong about the water part, let's put it that way..."

Artemis the Absol "If we're lucky enough to get that to work...  And that's assuming that it's the bell that's causing it."  Arty retorts, glancing between Dani and Irwin, canting his head.  Why in the world is she not telling him?  Sure, he got fucked up, but it's not like he was the only one who got hurt that night, either.

Adrian St. Artiel "The powers we gained are likely tied to the temple of time."  Adrian muses, still scritching away at his pad with what would appear to be charcoal. "The fact that I was given the staff is likely the only reason we still have them. If I had to hazard a guess, I'd also assume the temple of faith is where froslass and plasma have been pulling this bell trick from." Adrian glances over at Irwin, somewhat unnerved. "You really haven't figured it out yet? Really? Think. You've seen how her power works. And more importantly you saw the look on Sarah's face that day. It shouldn't have taken you this long to put two and two together."

Irwin Eesh.  You guys are always so cryptic.  It's like with the thing about the water.  Why am I always the last to hear about stuff?

Giga (Danica) "Ehehh... I swear I meant to let you guys know about the water sooner..."

Adrian St. Artiel "It's not cryptic Irwin. It's rather simple actually. You died. Congratulations."

Giga (Danica) "Well, you got pretty close..." shudders at the memory

Artemis the Absol Artemis nods grimly, only to let out a low yawn.  "Well, maybe not died, but--yes."  He turns his gaze up to the stars and the moon above--has it gotten that late already?  It must be past midnight, easily.  "I'm going to head below deck to grab an hour or so of sleep before my watch and meditation.  Good night, you three."  He says, yawning once more and dipping his head.

Irwin And so you give me sarcasm instead.  Right.   Wait, pretty close?   ... W-wait.  OK, just say it, what happened?

Adrian St. Artiel "Whether you choose to believe me or not is up to you. I won't repeat myself."

Giga (Danica) "Well, you decided to go after Primarina, who then hit you with a wateris- Attack and... well... yeah... it looked like it hurt, to say the least..."

Adrian St. Artiel *Adrian nods and waves at the absol as he leaves

Irwin *He looks at Danica, then Adrian.  He looks concerned, to say the least* S-so which was it?? *he gets up to his feet* Did I... die?  ...or not?  Am I like Eddie now?? *and turns back to the water* Tharina...

Giga (Danica) "First off; no, you aren't dead. Second of all, you got close. From what I've seen, the effects more or less got reversed when I pulled off the wibbly-wobblyeyey shit again."

Irwin So if you hadn't been there... if the mind control hadn't been broken... I... hrrp... *vom over the railing*

Adrian St. Artiel "Dani's power reverses the flow of time for someone for a set amount of time, just like how mine slows it, like messing with the playback on an old cassette. When she found you... as you were you were too far gone for normal healing measures so we essentially cheated, and made it so that for you, the whole thing never happened."

Adrian St. Artiel "But it did happen, and we did all see the results of you failing to control yourself."

Irwin *Irwin wipes his mouth, lurches over to Danica, and gives her a hug* Th-thank you, then... for saving me...

Giga (Danica) returns the hug "Well, I couldn't just leave you there... It wouldn't be right..."

Irwin Failing to control myself...?  I don't even know what I did.  *he turns around and begins to sulk off* I... need to go... process... for a bit...

Giga (Danica) nods solemnly "No worries, if you need to talk to one of us though, just say the word."

Irwin *he waves limply without turning around*

Adrian St. Artiel *softly, so as to not have Irwin hear "He had to find out sooner or later."

Giga (Danica) at the same volume as Adrian "Admittedly, he took it significantly better than I expected..." leans back over the rails and sights

Adrian St. Artiel "He's definitely the most tolerable of the group, but damned if he isn't oblivious as hell most of the time... ugh." Frustratedly, Adrian rips the page he was working on out of his notebook, crinkles it up and tosses it over the side of the ship.

Giga (Danica) "...no luck?"

Adrian St. Artiel "Not exactly. Just... something I shouldn't be thinking about right now." He sighs and puts his art kit and supplies back in his bag. "I'm heading in too. Likely going to be a while till we hit land. Might as well try to get something vaguely resembling sleep."

Giga (Danica) "No worries. I'll keep watch then..." Waits for Adrian to start moving off before chiming in again. "...Hey Adrian? I need you to be honest with me, do you think we made the right choice in... staying here?"

Adrian St. Artiel Adrian looks back over his shoulder and raises an eyebrow."Hmmm? Oh that? Well, to be honest... No. We probably didn't. But at the same time, I don't think it really matters." "Something tells me leaving wouldn't have been the simple matter that Absolute eaking it out as. We'd likely be pursued by plasma anyhow, whether we were human or pokemon, simply because we were here, and we have seen what's been going on. You think a place like this would stay as is if the whole of the outside world knew about it? Plus I've begun to suspect that Absolute and Moira aren't quite as all powerful here as the think. There's more to it. Stuff they're either not telling us, or don't know themselves. Least from what I've gathered. And also..."

Giga (Danica) "Hmm?" turns to look at Adrian more clearly

Adrian St. Artiel "I don't think I CAN leave. Not yet anyway. Just personally. Being here has made me... remember things. Ironic right? Things that I haven't thought about in a while. Things I didn't want to think about. I think, for a good long while before coming here, I haven't really been trying to think at all. At least not about myself or what I was doing. I kind of just... kept moving, not looking nor caring where I was going cause it felt like if I stopped, everything I left behind would eventually catch up and I'd have to answer for a lot of.... well, let's just say lapses in judgement and leave it at that. But here... it's different." "The outside world can't touch us in here, at least not directly. It's like someone pressed pause on life, and then gave us the time, for better or for worse, to think things over, and try to make sense of where we are. At least, that's what I've been trying to do. I know I can't go back to the way I was, not really. I've at least realized at this point that I was going nowhere, and keeping a lot of things bottled up. And so I've decided that, before I even consider heading back, that I would figure out just where I went wrong and to make plan to at least try and fix things... whatever that might entail."

Giga (Danica) "...guess we're in the same boat then." looks out at the sea. "I don't know what's going to happen to us here... Hell, I can't even guarantee our own physical safety... And there's only one thing that I'm completely certain about." looks up to the stars. "That once we leave, once this whole crazy adventure is over, we're never going to be the same people we were beforehand, like you said, be it for better or for worse... Between you and me Adrian, I don't have a lot waiting for me back home. Main reason I'm not accepting staying here... well, I've got things I still need to do as Danica." grips onto the railing. "...I can't afford to falter in my duties... not when... not when the alternative is... when failure is..." Frowns, then shakes head in frustration. "...Not when there's so much at stake." "But enough of that. Tell you all what, I've got a decent amount saved up. Once we're done with this place, how about we all go on a trip to Alola? Or something, either way, getting away from all the world's stresses sounds pretty good right now."

Adrian St. Artiel "Hah. We'll see. First we have to make it through the night. And on that note-" Adrian turns and waves behind him. "-I'm off. Take care Dani."

Giga (Danica) "Heh, night Adrian. I'll keep watch and let you guys know when I see land."

Adrian St. Artiel Adrian gives a thumbs up (Or at least, the smeargle equivalent of one) as he descends the ladder into the ship's depths, but says nothing else, disappearing from view.

...

Out of the corner of your eye, over the railing, a glimmer of moonlight reflects off something and catches your attention.

Giga (Danica) "Hm?" Tries taking a look at what's reflecting the light...

Adrian St. Artiel You peer over the side and for a split second, you spot a patch of white amidst the dark ocean below. A face, a human one maybe, hard to make out from distance and darkness and saturation, stares back at you from just slightly beneath the water's surface, inscribed on a crumpled up wad of paper that is slowly unraveling itself, bleeding black clouds of water and coal as it sinks below the surface. You only get a quick glimpse of it, what you are able to make out, before the passing wave sweeps it behind the boat and out of sight: Long hair, tied in a pony tail. A bright smile, nearly erased by the waves. And the letter K...

Giga (Danica) Dani's brow furrows in confusion. "What on...?" ((Cue intuition roll!)) !roll 4d6

RPBotBOT @Giga (Danica) rolled 18. (2 + 5 + 6 + 5 = 18)

Adrian St. Artiel While the girl depicted is not familiar to you in any way, the material she was drawn on is. In fact, you're fairly certain you saw a teammate of yours huck a similarly sized, if not identical wad of paper over the edge moments prior. What this means however, is a mystery to you. You can say this much at least: from what you could still see (and water damage aside) the picture looked very realistic. And very detailed. Painstakingly so.

Giga (Danica) "...oh geez..." looks over to where Adrian was earlier and then frowns, before climbing back up onto the crow's nest to keep watch over the horizon/surroundings. "...there really is way too much at stake for us, huh?" ((Uh... end RP?))