#sorry i know i said no hate but what i'm trying to say is use ur brain guys đ
Explore tagged Tumblr posts
Note
Hi, so here's my prompt for 2010 tom x reader, Tom and reader are both in rival bands, maybe the reader is in a band like maneskin, and they both talk shit about each other in interviews but, in reality they are secrectly dating, so onetime they aren't careful and Bill catches them. I know it's a little long, I'm sorry <3
Stage Fights & Late Night Bites
âź tom kaulitz fic
âź 2010 era, fem! reader, use of strong language, sexual content (no real smut, just allusions to sex if thatâs what youâd call it idek đ) i also tried to make this sorta humorous. this also isnât proofread.
âź A/N omg @hunnybunny05 you literally sent me this request back in november and itâs taken me this long to get it up and iâm SO sorry đ when i tell yall that my family life has been so wild and stressful and there was a point i couldnât sleep till 6am bc of this particular family member who isnât well mentally and needs to be monitored- itâs been rough and things have been chill for a moment bc theyâve been away getting help and ive been trying to relax but i have a feeling things could get stressful again since theyâre coming back so i wanted to get this up while i can đ€

âI mean, if y/n spent half as much time practicing as she does running her mouth, maybe sheâd actually be a decent guitarist.â
Tom said as he leaned back in his chair, arms crossed, smirking at the interviewer like he hadnât just started another wildfire. The camera light blinked red, recording every second, every word that would inevitably be dissected, clipped, and plastered across music blogs within the hour. Somewhere, he knew you were watchingârolling your eyes, scoffing, maybe even flipping him off through the screen.
And later, when the cameras were off and the world wasnât watching, youâd have your own way of getting revenge.
But for now, the game continued.
Somewhere across the city, in a dimly lit dressing room littered with guitar picks and half-empty energy drink cans, you scoffed at the screen. Truth be told, you were always iconic and unbothered.
âOh, he wants to talk shit? Cute.â You leaned forward, elbows on your knees, watching Tomâs smirk like it was a challenge. The interviewer laughed, egging him on, and you could already hear the fans blowing up the comments. Beefâs still going strong. They HATE each other omg. God, just kiss already.
If only they knew.
Your bandmate snorted from the couch. âThat dudeâs got a ridiculous ego.â
You smirked, hiding the way your fingers itched to grab your phone. You and Tom had a routineâtrash talk in interviews, throw a few not-so-subtle digs in social media captions, maybe even stare each other down at award shows. The rivalry was the perfect cover. No one suspected the stolen glances, the rushed hotel meetups, the nights where words were replaced with hands tangled in hair and whispered promises.
And yet, you were getting reckless.
Your phone vibrated in your lap. A message.
Tom: Youâre cute when youâre mad.
Your stomach flipped. You should ignore it. Instead, your fingers moved on their own.
You: Iâm going to make you look so ridiculous at my next interview tonight.
And that was the problem with this game. Sooner or later, someone was bound to catch on.
âYou guys arguing have us trending like everywhere.â Bill says, scrolling through his phone as the guys are in the car back to their hotel. Bill loved that the beef fueled engagement, interviews, and fan speculation, making both groups more relevant. If people found out it was fake, it could kill the hype and make them look like frauds.
But itâs deeper than just PR. Bill himself would often take shots at your band on Tomâs behalf. To him, you were just being a pure bitch to his beloved, older twin brother and he despised you for it. Tom told him everythingâor so he thought. If he found out that his his twin was sneaking around with the âenemyâ while letting him play into a rivalry that wasnât even real, heâd be pissed and even feel betrayed.
Tom doesnât respond, Bill notices heâs engrossed in texting someone- you. You two were talking about how youâll both be in the same location tomorrow for your tours, even staying at the same hotel, planning on meeting up in secret like you always did when you two wound up in the same location for a few days.
âWhoâs that?â Bill asks, always having to know Tomâs business.
âJust staff.â Tom lies, turning his phone off and stuffing it back into his pocket.
At first, it was fun. The secrecy, the sneaking aroundâit added to the thrill.
Then, it became a mess he didnât know how to undo. If you suddenly stopped trashing each other, people would notice. He ESPECIALLY didnât want his bandmates to find outâthey might see it as a betrayal, especially if your bandmates would too.
And deep down, maybe heâs afraid it wonât last. If things end badly, itâs easier to go back to being ârivalsâ than to admit he risked everything for nothing.
That night, the band mates were will chilling, smoking, having some drinks in Georgâs hotel room. After many laughs, bringing up of embarrassing memories, and play fighting one another, they got engrossed in their own things, tom is scrolling through his phone, bill is half asleep, listening to music, Gustav is fully asleep, snoring his ass off.
Georg is scrolling on social media on his laptop, he comes across a clip of you at your interview from a couple hours ago that was live-streamed, you and your band surrounded by fans and a main interviewer.
âOh shit.â Georg chuckles as he watches the video.
âWhat?â Tom asks. Bill opens his eyes and looks over as well.
Georg just unplugs his headphones and turns his laptop to Tom, playing the video for him.
âSo what do you really think of tom kaulitz?â A fan asks you, the main interviewer holding the mic for them.
âWell truth be told, I try not to but he canât do a single damn interview without mentioning me⊠but hey if you need to piggyback off my name to get some recognition, Iâll be supportive and help a band who needs a little help back up.â
The moment the words left your mouth, the entire room erupted. A loud, collective âOHHHHHH!â rippled through the crowd, followed by bursts of laughter and dramatic gasps.
Bill scoffs, reaching over and shutting the laptop ânervige Schlampe.â (Means âannoying bitchâ) He murmurs under his breath before leaning back and closing his eyes again.
Meanwhile Tom suppresses a smirk. âSheâs so fucking annoying. I wish someone would slap her.â Tom lies through his teeth, sitting back.
âSheâs witty, Iâll give her that.â Georg chuckles again, gathering his laptop and things. âIâm going to head to bed and you all should too. We have a huge show to rehearse tomorrow.â He advises.
Gustav snores loudly, not waking up. Tom throws a pillow at him, startling him awake. âBed time.â Tom says. With that, Gustav also gathers his things and they all go to their hotel rooms.
Tom laid in bed, not without texting you first of course, enjoying the typical banter between you bothâŠ
Tom: Youâre annoying. Do you know that?
Y/N: it wasnât that bad. I was just being supportive.
Tom: Supportive? You just made me look like an idiot on live.
Y/N: I was just stating the facts. I mean, you canât do an interview without bringing me up. Itâs cute tbh.
Tom: itâs cute? You called me a publicity stunt.
Y/N: Nah, I said Iâd help a band that needs a little boost. Thatâs called being supportive. Youâre welcome.
Tom: Supportive? More like sabotage.
You do realize half my fanbase is probably thinking I canât even speak for myself now, right?
Y/N: Thatâs your problem, not mine. đ
He couldnât help but smirk at how unbothered you are.
Y/N: we both know you love it when I tease you. Admit it.
Tom: I swear Iâm going to strangle you one of these days.
Y/N: Oooh, is that a promise?
Tom: yes
Y/N: Nah, you love me too much.
Tom: I hate you
âŠbut youâre still mine, so I guess Iâll let you live this time.
Y/N: I knew it.
The next day, all Tom could think about during rehearsal was you, when heâd get to see you again, the time literally couldnât go by any slower and it was slowly killing him. He reminisced on the other times you two have met up, venting to one another, sharing your thoughts on just walking away from music all together when things get stressful and reassuring each other that itâs okay to feel that way sometimes. Surprisingly you understood him in a way that no one else did, he was able to talk to you about his feelings and struggles while actually feeling safe to be vulnerable, you made him feel validated and comfortable.
That night, the guys wanted to hang out, maybe go out on the town, get something to eat, shopâ but he declined, knowing he had plans with you. He said something about how he was feeling low on his social battery which wasnât out of the ordinary for Tom at times.
The elevator dinged, and the doors slid open. You glanced down at the hotel key card in your hand, already feeling the familiar mix of anticipation and excitement.
You had a plan. You knew what you were walking intoâno distractions, no outside chaos. Just you, Tom, and the privacy of his hotel room.
The hallway was quiet as you approached his door. You knocked softly, already smirking at the thought of what might happen behind closed doors. A few seconds passed, and the door swung open.
Tom stood in front of you, his eyes lighting up the second he saw you. That signature smirk, and that damned look he always had when he was trying not to be too obvious about wanting youâoh, yeah. He was ready for this.
âWell, look who decided to show up,â he said, voice low, teasing, but there was a spark in his gaze that wasnât entirely playful.
You smiled, stepping into the room. âI said Iâd be here, didnât I?â
He closed the door behind you, too distracted to lock it. âYeah, you did. But I wasnât sure if youâd actually go through with it considering the other times weâve almost been seen sneaking around.â
You turned to face him, just inches away. His hands found their way to your waist, pulling you closer, eyes scanning your face as if he couldnât quite believe you were there.
The tension between you both had been building for weeks. Every look, every word spoken in private felt like an invitation for something moreâsomething you both were trying so hard to resist. But not tonight. Tonight was different.
He leaned in, his lips brushing yours lightly at first, testing the waters. You didnât hesitate. Your hands found the back of his neck, fingers tangling in his hair as you deepened the kiss.
Tom groaned softly into your mouth, the sound sending a wave of warmth through you. His lips were urgent now, pressing against yours with a mix of desperation and desire, as though he couldnât hold back any longer.
When you pulled away, both of you breathless, his forehead rested against yours.
âYouâre dangerous,â he murmured.
You chuckled softly, brushing your thumb over his lower lip. âI think we both are.â
A smirk tugged at his mouth. âWe shouldnât do this.â
âToo bad.â You kissed him again, this time with more intent, pulling him closer until you could feel the heat radiating off his body. Your fingers grazed down his chest, teasing the fabric of his shirt.
Tomâs hands roamed to your back, pressing you flush against him as he guided you backward toward the bed. You could feel the tension in his body, the desire barely contained.
âYou sure about this?â he asked again, his breath hot against your lips, his eyes searching yours for any sign of hesitation.
âDefinitely.â You kissed him once more, this time with purpose, letting the moment take over.
He didnât need any more words. His hands slid to the hem of your shirt, lifting it slowly as his lips traveled down your neck, leaving a trail of fire in their wake. You pulled him back up to kiss him again, this time with more need than before.
It was clear nowâthis wasnât just a casual meeting, this wasnât just going to be late night deep talks like usual.
You pulled back just long enough to whisper against his lips. âLetâs make tonight unforgettable.â
Tom grinned, his hands already moving with intention. âOh, it will be.â
And damn was he about to be proven rightâŠ
The other guys were back a little early, they hadnât even left the parking lot yet as Bill realized he had left his wallet and couldnât find it. He tore apart his own hotel room, and Georgâs since thatâs where theyâd been hanging out mostly.
Tom never locked his damn door.
You realized this way too late, tangled in his sheets, stripped down, his lips hot against your neck, his hips thrusting against yours with the kind of urgency that made you forget everythingâyour band, the rivalry, the fact that literally anyone could walk in.
And someone did.
âTom, have you seen myâOH, FOR FUCKâS SAKE!â Billâs voice snapped through the air like a whip.
Tomâs body practically levitated off of you, quickly covering himself. âBILL, WHAT THE FUCK?!â
You barely had time to grab the nearest thing to cover yourselfâTomâs stupidly oversized hoodieâbefore locking eyes with his wide-eyed, horrified twin. Bill stood frozen in the doorway, holding a half-full water bottle like it was his only lifeline.
âWHAT IS THIS?!â Bill demanded, gesturing wildly at the two of you. âARE YOUâOH MY GOD. OH MY GOD.â
âBill, get the fuck out!â Tom shouted, flinging a pillow at him.
Bill smacked it away, looking personally offended. âYouâyou two HATE each other!â His face scrunched like his entire worldview had just shattered. âDo you have ANY idea what this means?!â
âThat you need to knock?!â you shot back, trying to adjust Tomâs hoodie while staying somewhat decent.
âThat you two are FAKES!â Bill pointed at you both accusingly. âOh my god, the interviews, the beefâMy own brother has been lying to me?! DO YOU KNOW HOW MANY INTERVIEWS IâVE DONE TALKING SHIT ABOUT HER? DEFENDING YOU? I CALLED HER A MEDIOCRE CUNT LAST WEEK, TOM. ON. LIVE. TELEVISION!â
Tom, now gripping the blanket like his life depended on it, tried to salvage the situation. âLook, I was gonna tell youââ
âWHEN?! AFTER THE WEDDING?!â Bill shot back.
âWhat theâthereâs no wedding!â Tom says, starting to get annoyed.
âWELL, CLEARLY, I KNOW NOTHING ABOUT YOUR LIFE, SO WHO KNOWS?!â Bill says.
You clamped a hand over your mouth to keep from wheezing.
Bill exhaled dramatically, putting a hand on his chest like he needed to steady himself. âI justâwow. Wow. So this whole rivalry was just some sick foreplay to you?â
Tom actually choked. âGET. OUT.â
With that, bill spun on his heel and stormed out, leaving behind only a shattered sense of trust and the distant sound of him muttering, âUnbelievable. Unreal. I need a fucking drink.â
Tom flopped onto the bed with a miserable groan.
You grinned, still wearing his hoodie. âI dunno. âSick foreplayâ was a pretty good line.â
Tom grabbed a pillow and smothered his own face âFucking hell.â He groans. âI think I just lost five years of my life.â
You snicker. âWell⊠at least he didnât tell the entire hotel staff.â
Tom shoots you a look. âGive him time.â
You grin, shifting closer, fingers tracing lazy circles on his chest. âYâknowâŠâ You pause, dragging your nails lightly down his stomach, feeling the way his breath hitches. âNow that the dramatics are overâŠâ
His eyes narrow suspiciously. âNo.â
You blink innocently. âNo, what?â
âI know that tone. Thatâs your âletâs do something recklessâ tone.â He says.
You hum, leaning in to press a slow, teasing kiss just below his jaw. âI was just thinkingâŠâ Another kiss, trailing lower. âItâd be a shame to let the night go to waste.â
Tom exhales sharply, his hands already sliding to your hips, but he still gives you a look. âAfter what just happened? Youâre insane.â
You shrug, smirking. âOr maybe I just really, really want you.â
Tom groans, tilting his head back against the pillow. âYouâre gonna kill me.â
âIs that a complaint?â You ask.
He flips you onto your back so fast you gasp. His smirk is dangerous now, fingers tightening on your waist. âNot at all.â
And just like that, the night is definitely not going to waste.
Later⊠Tom found Bill on the hotel balcony, staring out at the city with a half-empty beer in his hand. The neon lights reflected off the glass railing, painting him in blues and purples, but the dramatic sulking pose was all Bill.
Tom sighed, stepping out into the cool night air. âYou gonna give me the silent treatment forever, orâŠ?â
Bill took a slow sip, not looking at him. âDunno. Maybe.â
Tom rolled his eyes, leaning against the railing next to him. âCome on.â
Silence.
Bill exhaled through his nose, shaking his head. âI just donât get it, Tom.â He finally turned to look at Tom, brows furrowed. âYou told me everything. Every stupid crush, every hookup, every time you almost texted an ex at 2 a.m.ââ
âOkay, first of all, that was like⊠twice.â Tom says
ââAnd then you go and have a whole-ass secret relationship behind my back?â Bill ignored him, gesturing vaguely. âWith her? The one person we were supposed to hate?â
Tom sighed, rubbing the back of his neck. âIt wasnât supposed to happen.â
Bill gave him a flat look. âYeah, no shit.â
Tom huffed a laugh, but it faded quickly. âI didnât plan on keeping it from you. It just⊠got out of hand.â He shrugged. âAt first, it was just fun. Then it was more than that and we started talking about deep stuff, and I didnât know how to tell you.â
Bill stayed quiet, fidgeting with the label on his beer bottle.
Tom nudged him lightly. âI never wanted to lie to you. But I knew youâd freak out.â
âI wouldnât have freaked out.â Bill says.
Tom shot him a look. âYou dramatically monologued when you walked in on us.â
Bill scoffed. âThat was a reasonable reaction.â
âYou asked if we were getting married.â Tom says.
âWell, how the hell was I supposed to know?! Clearly, Iâm not included in these life decisions anymore!â Bill exclaims.
Tom groaned, dragging a hand down his face. âBill.â
Bill sighed, finally letting go of the grudge just a little. He glanced at Tom, a small smirk forming. âSo⊠is it serious?â
Tom hesitated. The automatic answer was nah, itâs just a thing, but that wasnât the truth anymore. He rubbed his jaw, looking out at the city. ââŠYeah. I think it is.â
Bill was quiet for a beat, then groaned, tipping his head back. âGoddamn it. Now I have to pretend I like her.â
Tom laughed, nudging him again. âYouâll survive.â
Bill made a face but finally, finally, let his shoulders relax. He pointed at Tom. âJust so you know, Iâm still holding this over your head.â
âOf course you are.â Tom responds.
âAnd Iâm still mad I found out the way I did.â Bill continues.
âNoted.â Tom says.
Bill took another sip of his beer, then exhaled. ââŠBut if she breaks your heart, I get to say âI told you so.ââ
Tom smirked. âDeal.â
They clinked their beer bottles together, a silent truce, before Bill added, âAlso, if you ever traumatize me like that again, I will be charging you for my therapy.â
Tom just laughed. âFair.â
Tom joined you again later in the hotel room, you decided to just stay the night with him. You dressed in a nice, lacy, silk nightdress.
You exhaled, propping yourself up on your elbow. âSo⊠what happens now?â
Tom blinked, turning his head to look at you. âYou mean, after my twin recovers from emotional trauma?â
You rolled your eyes, sitting up. âI mean us, idiot.â
His smirk faltered for just a second. âOh.â You watched as he rubbed his jaw, a telltale sign that something was on his mind.
âYou think this is a mistake?â you asked quietly.
Tom sighed, staring up at the ceiling. âNo. I think you might be the only real thing Iâve got right now.â
That caught you off guard. You stayed silent, waiting for him to go on.
âBut, I mean⊠look at us.â He gestured vaguely. âYouâre touring. Iâm touring. Weâre never in the same place for more than a few days. Weâve spent months making people believe we canât stand each other.â His voice softened. âHow the hell do we make this work?â
You let that sit for a moment before shrugging. âWeâll figure it out.â
Tom let out a dry laugh. âThat simple, huh?â
âYeah.â You stood up and moved closer, resting your chin on his chest. âWe donât have to have all the answers right now. But if thisââ you gestured between the two of you ââmeans anything, we try.â
Tom glanced down at you, eyes searching. âAnd if it doesnât work?â
âThen we deal with it. But Iâd rather crash and burn than pretend this doesnât matter.â
His throat bobbed, his fingers brushing over your arm. âYou really mean that?â
You nodded. âDo you?â
Tom sighed, then finally, finally, let the hesitation melt away. He reached up, tucking a strand of hair behind your ear. âYeah. I do.â
A slow smile spread across your lips. âThen itâs settled.â
Tom smirked. âSo what, we start a long-distance, secret relationship while still fake-hating each other in public?â
You laughed, pressing a teasing kiss to his lips. âSounds like a challenge.â
His hands slid around your waist, pulling you closer. âGood thing I like a challenge.â
And just like that, you both stopped worrying about the âwhat-ifsâ and just let it be.
24 notes
·
View notes
Text
guys no hate to op but i feel like this post is kind of a wilful/bad faith misinterpretation of writer's works. and its pretty representative of what most fandoms are like nowadays đ
like in the grand scheme of things, this is very much a non-issue but people will always write with the context of their own surroundings/background (like i, as an australian, could write using phrases that might sound out of place to others)
like this is FANFICTION (fiction written by...you guessed it! fans. fans from all over the world who will use their own experiences/lives/linguistics to translate that into stories)
second of all, 'yer' and 'fer me' and as others in the notes protest, such words aren't meant to be swinging characters into the wild west with cowboy hates, they're often used as ways to imitate the sound of someone slurring their words (as you would expect in a sex scene) so readers can differentiate it between character's tones đ
#okay to rb!#if anyone agrees/disagrees i would luv to hear it idk this post just pmo a bit thats all#â text !#sorry i know i said no hate but what i'm trying to say is use ur brain guys đ#u don't have to spoonfed mouthfuls of smut just bc u don't like how an anime character said 'ma' like...#jjk smut#jjk x reader
354 notes
·
View notes
Text
Her voice pulls his attention away from the singular spot his eyes had zoned in on, it wasn't her I'm sorry because he didn't ever need an apology from her, it was her crushing reality that was sinking in that held his thoughts. He couldn't connect to it, Nico had never experienced grief and he didn't believe he ever would - adding to, he wasn't even sure how he'd respond to it, or if he'd even show an ounce of anything in return. Despite his lack of emotional capabilities within himself, he could see the way it was affecting her and in all honesty he hated himself because he didn't know how to help her. He didn't know what to say; he didn't even know what to do for her.
His gaze follows hers as she's now stood opposite and there's a moment which silence fills the space between them, one that he doesn't even have any thought pass through because he's stuck on what to do. His annoyance was squashing itself down, one that was being overridden by guilt.
Finally, he moved closer, hesitating briefly before lifting his hand to gently hold the side of her face, his thumb brushing her skin. "I don't know how to make this better for you." he admits quietly, unsure if better was even the right word because there wasn't a world in which it would be better. "Use me, Cece, tell me what you want me to do." he knew she had just said she didn't know what to do, and so, "If you need to get away, I'll take you somewhere. If you just want me to hold you, I'll stay." what he was trying to say was that he was there for her, he knew he had fucked up ways to show that but he was right there.
Her breathing grew shallow, as she stood there, unable to move, unable to think past the image of Andres' face. It was an image that should have reduced her to tears by now, but there were no tears left. To the point that it became nearly painful as she slid her eyes shut and exhaled a shaky breath in an attempt to rid her mind of that massacre and stabilize herself. But then came the part of her that was simply exhausted from mourning. It seemed she'd been cursed to have that feeling imbedded in her since childhood.
As soon as he'd stepped away, she had fully expected to hear a door slam shut behind him, yet he was still here. For a few minutes, she stood frozen, her eyes unfocused, staring at the ground, unable to pull herself together enough to look at him. Finally, she whispered, "I'm sorry.. I didn't mean thatâ I'mâ" She was trying to articulate something, anything, to say the right words but all she could come up with was, "it's the second time I have to bury a dad." Even though sheâs acutely aware that death went hand in hand with the life she was born into, there was no mending the loss of the man whoâd raised her. After a beat of hesitation, she moved closer slowly, just enough to lean against the worktop opposite of him. "I don't wanna talk about it, I don't know what to do, I just don't want to feel this ⊠way anymore." Whatever the fuck it was, she couldnât place it or more likely didnât want to.
18 notes
·
View notes
Text
had the most braindead repetitive conversation/argument with my parents. buzz cuts are too masculine but if you dye a design on it it become effeminate which is bad because then you look weak and if youre weak then society falls apart (all societies ever that have fallen apart for any reason are actually because of feminine men) and we start sacrificing babies. and also all mental illness is invented because only 4 people had anxiety in the 90s and covid was made up so that we would all become gay and trans and then the government can control us better and be joe biden's little sex slaves. and also i need to keep my hair long because my father finds it attractive. what
#lolaa.txt#what do i even tag this with . my mother wouldn't let me leave and i kept asking for sources and she kept saying 'i'm your mother!!!'#'i wouldnt lie to you!'#okay. say that to someone maybe who doesnt know you lie to them all the time.#its tiring going around in circles with her.my father is better because at least he admits when he doesnt have a reason for feeling some wa#also what got me. she said 'do you own research if you want!! but im right!!!'#yeahh not seeing anything about anything you just said. i think you made that up.#i have a theory that my mother secretly hates herself because she believes all women are weak and must serve strong men#and my father has so so much trauma and anxiety that he cant be that strong man#so now she feels like shes betraying her very biology when she has to step up.#and also because i am stronger than her now and my hair is long and far far denser than hers and i have a younger face#that she feels that im wasting my precious femininity that she could be using. does that make sense.#shes so miserable trapped in her idea of what makes a man and a woman what they are. once you stop caring about what makes someone somethin#you dont have to worry about anyone else.#im queer because i dont really feel that connection to biological and social ideas of gender that my parents seem to#never really have#im not gonna theorize 'ohh shed be happier nonbinary' or stuff like that because it is up to you and you alone to define who you are#if you spend your whole life trying to fit a box for the sake of fitting the box#then when would you have any space for self discovery#youve invented personality traits to go along with your box. now you can never ever change or grow as a person. congrats#and you know what? one day she will die. and that will be the end of that.#and i will live and i will probably shave my head a thousand times. and come up with new names#and new ways to be a better person that makes me feel happy#and i will dress like a boy because its all made up anyways. who cares.#and if you care? that much about what im wearing or how i look?#then thats your problem and i wont be responsible to maintain your happiness.#SORRY RANT OVER.#im just so flabbergasted. what a sad life someone can lead poisoned by jealously and reactive rhetoric.#tw homophobia#tw transphobes
17 notes
·
View notes
Note
If I had to choose between cutting off my hand and redoing grad school apps, I'd seriously consider the hand. Be gentle with yourself, it's a fucking slog. What kind of program are you looking into?
Thank you for the reminder to be gentle. This shit has been stressful, and having for various reasons only about a month and a half to actually do focused work on applying has SUCKED. Not looking forward to potentially having to do this again in the future (it's complicated but I'll explain why in a sec), but I am SO looking forward to two weeks from now when these applications are in and it's out of my hands, as much as the waiting game itself sucks in its own way.
As for programs, I don't want to get too specific. I was a double major in undergrad, and I'm not exaggerating when I say I've literally never met anyone else with those two specific majors. (Ftr one is a STEM field and the other in the humanities.) I want to keep studying both in some capacity in the future, but to make a long story short I'm stuck in a position where I have to hold off on applying to the program in the humanities for now.
As annoyed as I am about the 'long story' part of that, I'm totally fine with prioritizing the program in STEM for now. Hell, in some ways that's a good thing given the limited amount of time I have to work on applications. But at the same time, I've greatly limited the number of schools I'm applying to so I can focus on creating well-tailored applications for their specific programs and faculty, and that means each potential rejection would leave me with a far smaller share of options. It's a bit of a risk, but damn it I'm trying my best to show how strong of a student I've been and that I would work well with their specific people. Hopefully things work out in the end.
I hope your own efforts have paid off too, wherever life has taken you.
#it's hitting me now too how badly my undergrad school prepared me for this process#besides a couple of conversations with professors about grad school and jokes about selling your soul to unethical corporations-#- we didn't get told SHIT#i've said it before and i'll say it again but do not go to a rich kid school if you are not a rich kid (this is coming from a non-rich kid)#or at the very least be prepared for people to assume you know the ins and outs of networking and stuff you've never been taught about#i'm not joking when i say the school i went to brags about how many students get job placements soon after graduation#but has next to no actual resources to help students continue their education (esp for minority students) (like myself)#it's so frustrating seeing peers of mine get cushy jobs based on who they know when i'm out here busting my ass bc idk the right people#and god forbid you want to learn more but don't have similar connections in academia! it sucks!#i know my applications' success heavily relies upon letters i'm not allowed to read written for me by professors who can vouch for me#because their names might mean something to someone who might otherwise disregard me despite how ridiculously experienced i am#knowing you're good enough but might get rejected for something that goes beyond you has to be one of the worst feelings#i already have the sneaking suspicion that i won't get accepted to one of my top three schools based on that#and i haven't even submitted my app for them yet#there's so much i hate about higher ed but dammit i still want to learn. that might be the worst part of it all.#i want to keep learning but at the end of the day it's not about what i want. it's what an institution wants FOR me.#but that will not stop me from trying or from fighting for what i want. at least i have that.#anyway sorry for the long-ass ramble and for the delay but hopefully that answers your question sufficiently enough#and hopefully what i've said is useful to someone somewhere who might be in a weird spot like this#ask#answered#anon
4 notes
·
View notes
Text
Hiatus
I am going on hiatus for a bit more. I really really hoped the stuff that have been going on lately were already "sorted out" but, uhm... they aren't. I need to take a bit more time offline once again, and try to work things out.
Thank you for your patience â€
Wren
#EDIT: I've deactivated my IG for a bit because it wasn't helping at all. I'll be back there but I need time#wren text tag#somehow issues from mid July/early August have managed to get worse. Like I'm not even surprised bc I'm used to it but GIRL . What the fuck#âit's finally summerâ+âcan't wait to draw!â * gets 3 hiatus in a row * maybe drawing or summer isn't really meant to be đ€šđ€#I hate having to log-in to post a hiatus message and then dissapear again when I'm supposed to post my doodles n have fun#Feels like one of those jesters that appears at luncheon to entertain the royal court and then they go missing for the rest of the month#bc I'm trying very hard not to hide in my shell + having a bit more presence here to post my artwork#and somehow I fail at both like fucking heck. How can you be so bad at this.#but in short I won't be here to answer stuff and being silly or whatever people expect me to do#because if you're here for the silly stuff. MAN. I'm am sorry but I don't feel silly at all.#Somebody once said âthe horrors are never ending yet I remain sillyâ but I forgot the âremain sillyâ part#And if you're here for drawings. I don't even have time and I don't feel like drawing at all. Idk which one is worse#The bakery hangs up the âclosed todayâ so people know they have to go to buy bread somewhere else. Same here. But it won't last a day#idk why the bread analogy. Guess I'm a birb after all#this is also the closest thing to a vent post I will ever write and I managed to say nothing at all. Vagueposting about vent. Good job Wren#tw: vent#tagging in case somebody like me needs to have some tags filtered#the hiatus will go on also a bit longer because the last few weeks my mental health suffered a lot and I know my limit#also this post was queued. If I see I can still be active before publishing I will delete it otherwise see for yourself#also queue doesn't work ig like I programmed this for 9 pm hopefully it will be up by then and not any other random time
6 notes
·
View notes
Text
I wait for you
;Alex G
#alexâs diary#I knew there would be a day where we wouldn't be together anymore.. I just didn't think it would be that soon.#I'll never understand the ending of us. I'll never understand how it came to be. I'll never understand any of it#I wish they'd understand why I'm upset at them. The ending of us left me confused and lost. Wondering why did you go quiet on me#quiet on me without saying anything before closing the door?#I reread our text messages and I don't understand. How can I ever understand when you said these certain things to me?#To make me feel so loved and cared for and understood only for you to leave in a way.#While I'm trying to trick myself into believing that you still love me - I know you don't. not anymore.#You said you'd always love me.. but oh what a sweet lie that was you gave to me. I was stupid enough to fall for it.#I foolishly still hope that some small part of you still loves and misses me.#But incase you find yourself wanting to come back.. know I'll still be here.. waiting for you.#I meant it that day when I said I'll wait for you.#There will be a day where I've moved on.. but I'll still love you nonetheless.. I'll still find bits and pieces of me missing you#How can I move on after the things we've been through? I mean.. I know I will one day but today is not that day#I'm still lost and confused and upset.#I know I wasn't the best for the last few months we talked... but all I needed was help.. not from you obviously.. I just needed a therapis#Which I have found and she's helping me. but I wish you didn't have to walk away. I wish you didn't have to call me draining.#I'm sorry I was.. I wish I wasn't like that. Maybe if I was someone different you'd still be here.#I want to stop loving you so bad but I can't. it feels impossible to stop loving you. I hate it. Do you want the same but can't get it?#I know you once loved me so that should be enough.#I wish it was just me and you again. I wish it was just us. I miss when it was.#I hope wherever you go you find happiness and love. I hope you forever chase your dreams and that you catch them one day#I thank you for everything that you have given me.#I'm sorry we ended the way we did. I wish we didn't have to come to end.#But sometimes things must end for the world to become bigger. For us to follow a new path. For us to grow and blossom bigger than before#Just know. even though I'm upset and confused. I'll always love and miss you. and I'll wait for you.. I'll wait for you till we meet again#no matter how long it takes. I'll wait for you.#im sorry for everything.#I think I'll always miss you forever like the stars miss the sun in the morning sky
2 notes
·
View notes
Text
Temperate Lake Dashboard Simulator

đŠââŹ2xcrested_cormorant Follow Going to try and eat this weird fish
â»ïžđŠââŹ2xcrested_cormorant Follow wilmdlife hopital

đžrana-bufo Follow No one can ever truly understand what BULL4rog's music means to me đ this song in particular argrgrgrgrgrg the way he puffs out his vocal sack asdfghjk
BULL4rog: listen here on spotify â»ïžđžrana-bufo Follow I think I huave chytrid

đilikeeatingminnowsFollow I just migrated here from finstagram please be nice

đ powerbottomfeeder Follow
I have HAD IT with this lake, itâs the third day in a row weâve had nitrates above 8 ppm and uug the algae, my allergies I canât do this
â»ïžđcarpy-diem Follow
Lol we regularly get nitrates up to 20 ppm in my lake â»ïžđŠcrawdaddy Follow uhhh you shouldn't be bragging about that, it's really unsafe â»ïžđcarpy-diem Follow suck it you little oligotrophic bitch

đąsnappturt Follow Dear Tumblr, am I the Basshole for the way I catch minnows? I was chatting with some of the guys I bask with and they said the way I catch minnows is problematic; What I do is I sit on the bottom of the lake, I hide myself in the mud and I open my mouth. My tongue looks a lot like a little worm so I wiggle it around- and because of that, minnows swim over and check it out. Once they get close enough, then I bite down and eat them. Some of my rockmates have told me that this is manipulative and toxic behavior- but they also eat minnows...I don't know guys...

đŠtree hole-nester-acorn-eater Follow
is it just me, or is this super homoerotic???

đbigpikexxl Follow liveblogging diving down to the bottom
â»ïžđbigpikexxl Follow dark
â»ïžđbigpikexxl Follow big log
â»ïžđbigpikexxl Follow rock
â»ïžđbigpikexxl Follow kinda cold
â»ïžđbigpikexxl Follow oh hi @deepwatersculpin!!!
â»ïžđ deepwatersculpin Follow oh hey @bigpikexxl!!!
never thought i'd seen one of my mutuals irl!!! I didn't even know we lived in the same lake!!!

đ Shadlad Follow I'm not sorry, and I'm not afraid to say it, if you're an introduced species, go dry yourself out. You're not welcome to eat up all of our resources and live in my ancestral longs and rock crags. These things are for us to relate to and not for you to squander.
â»ïžđŠcrevice-steve Follow
Can't believe this type of fishcourse is still popular on this site, introduced species didn't choose to be introduced and have as much of a right to live as anyone else. Bigotry against introduced species is still bigotry and that's a hill I will dry on. â»ïžđ Shadlad Follow Go ahead, dry yourself out then ;) â»ïžđȘ·nootnootnewt Follow Hey man, I hate invasive species as much as anyone else but please stop telling people to beach themselves for political reasons- yeah that includes inavsives too â»ïžđŠtypical_scud Follow Did you legit just use the word Invas*ve to describe introduced species? â»ïžđŠąflatfootswimmer Follow anyone in this thread eat pondweed?

â»ïžđlargemouthbASS Follow A colab with my mutual @2xcrested_cormorant after they got released from the wildlife hospital. They haven't been on much since the Fish and Wildlife Service released them in the wrong lake and it took them a while to get back to their colony. We hope this guide will help you avoid accidentally eating/engaging with bait!

#fishblr#fishposting#fake post#dashboard simulator#cw thalassophobia#thalassophobia#ecology#freshwater ecology#wood duck#walleye
24K notes
·
View notes
Text
MADOKA - âIâm thinking Iâll order a beef udon bowl, since Sayaka-chan told me that they make those really good here. What about you, Homura-chan?â
CONSERVATION OF ENERGY - Food needs can be met with an expenditure of 1.23% of total magic. Proceed?
GRIEF SYNDROME [Trivial: Success] - MAGICAL GIRLS THAT IGNORE FOOD ARE OFTEN MORE PRONE TO GRIEF ACCUMULATION. MY ARMS WILL ALWAYS BE WAITING FOR YOU, HOMURA, BUT ITâS IMPORTANT TO BE HAPPY UNTIL THAT DAY. BESIDES, MADOKA WANTS TO EAT WITH YOU. DISAPPOINTING HER WILL FILL YOUR SOUL GEM WITH A HALF A GRIEF SEED WORTH OF DESPAIR.
TEA WITH MAMI-SAN [Legendary: Success] - Sayaka says the beef bowl is good? Maybe go for that. She knows Madokaâs tastes better than anyone â and if Madoka likes something, you will certainly like it too.
âI will have the same as you, Madoka.â
âIâm not feeling very hungry.â
[CALL AND RESPONSE - Medium 10] Come up with an order on your own
CALL AND RESPONSE - [Medium: Failure] - Youâve eaten here before, youâre pretty sure. Was it Loop 32⊠no, Loop 12..? No, wait, it was on the first Friday of Loop 68. No⊠thatâs not right. Youâve never eaten here before. In a stunning display of incompetence, you have taken Madoka on a date to a restaurant that you have never experienced before.
THE ANGEL - Itâs okay, Homura-chan! I donât mind if you havenât eaten here before. Remember what real me said, Sayaka thinks this place is good! And even if itâs not perfect, thatâs okay, just spending time with you makes me happy.
THE CRAVEN MASSES - Sayaka has raised her blade against Madoka 16 times before. You should leave this restaurant and kill her. It would only take-
FALLING SAND [Trivial: Success] - 1528 seconds on average.
CONSERVATION OF ENERGY - It can be cut down to 1243 seconds with an expenditure of 2.7% of total magic pool.
THE CRAVEN MASSES - Exactly. Do it in front of her family and make it bloody. Kyoko would likely try and stop you, but even she isnât immune to bullets. And if Mami comes for revenge, well, you know the exact words you could say that would destroy her, donât you?
THE ANGEL - A-Ah, I think thatâs a bit of an extreme reaction, Homura-chan!
HUMAN SHELL - Your heart rate is increasing. Stop that. You have absolute control over your flesh. Act like it.
MOE INSTINCT - AHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH AHHHHHHHHHHHHHH WHAT ARE WE GOING TO ORDER MADOKA IS GOING TO LAUGH AT US
WITCHâS NIGHT - Is⊠is this a trap? Walpurgis may be defeated, but you know that the stage witch never truly ceases its show. Perhaps this restaurant is a part of the stage?
MADOKA - âUm, are you okay, Homura-chan?â
MOE INSTINCT - OH GOD SHE HATES US
âIâm going to kill myself.â
âIâm so sorry. Would killing myself make you feel more comfortable?â
Isnât there anything else you can say?
YOU - Isnât there anything else you can say?
THE DEVIL - Come on, Homura. Itâs high time you do it. Really, this is just another in the long, long chain of failures that make up your life. The only way to fix it is to kill yourself.
CLOCKWORK PRECISION - Target: Located on right ring finger. Target is not moving. Chance to hit: High. Plan: Retrieve pistol. Aim pistol at ring. Pull trigger.
THE ANGEL - Oh my god, please do not do that!
"I am going to kill myself."
"I'm so sorry, I'll kill myself if it makes you feel better."
"I'm so sorry. Should I kill myself?"
There. There has to be better options than this.
YOU - There. There has to be better options than this.
MOE INSTINCT - I CANâT TAKE IT ANY MORE. THE ONLY RECOURSE IS IMMEDIATE SUICIDE. THATâS THE ONLY WAY MADOKA WILL LOVE YOU AGAIN.
"I am going to kill myself."
"I'm so sorry, I'll kill myself if it makes you feel better."
"I'm so sorry. Should I kill myself?"
YOU - âIâm going to kill myself.â
MADOKA - Madokaâs face twists, her eyebrows raising slightly in shock. Whatever response she was expecting, it was clearly not this.
GRIEF SYNDROME [Challenging: Success] - IF MADOKA WAS A MAGICAL GIRL, HER SOUL GEM WOULD FILL BY A QUARTER HEARING YOU SPEAK THOSE WORDS. THAT WAS CRUEL, HOMURA.
MOE INSTINCT - WHY DID YOU SAY THAT?
MADOKA - âIâm so sorry, Homura-chan. Please donât do that. I⊠I really care about you and so does everyone else.â Madokaâs eyes fill with tears as she speaks. She hugs you.
DAMAGED MORALE -4
CALL AND RESPONSE [Trivial: Success] - Quick, tell her you were making an edgy joke that didnât land. Youâve gotten away with that before, youâre pretty sure.
SPACE-TIME MASSACRE - Twelve quarter shifts left and two up from your current space-time position, and thereâs a Japan that itâs actually illegal to not commit suicide in.
FALLING SAND - Youâve been seated for 5 minutes and 32.5 seconds already and still have not ordered. Mami has requested your presence at her apartment in 3.4 hours from now.
TEA WITH MAMI-SAN - She wants to help you find a hobby. Sheâs really worried about you, you know.
STRINGS OF FATE - You can feel Madokaâs heart beat in sync with yours as she holds you. Everything will be alright, as long as you follow the beat.
THE ANGEL - Yeah! Itâs okay Homura-chan. Just explain whatâs been going on and Madoka will understand. And then order something, itâs important to eat a full meal!
YOU - âAh, sorry Madoka. I was⊠overwhelmed with choice, and my⊠brain spit out the first thing it thought. I am not planning on killing myself.â
MADOKA - âUm, I think we should probably talk about this more, Homura-chanâŠ.â
CALL AND RESPONSE - Ask her a question to change the topic. Itâs worked in three different loops, it should work here.
RATIONALITY COMPLEX [Trival: Success] - Ask her if she wants to try anything else and then order that for yourself. This will accomplish your goal of deciding on what to order, as well as showing Madoka that her desires are important to you.
YOU - âIs there anything else youâd like to try, Madoka? We can share our dishes.â
MADOKA - âUh, okay Homura-chan. Maybe get some tempura?â
Order 10000 yen worth of tempura
Order 1000 yen worth of tempura
Order 100 yen worth of tempura
YOU - âExcuse me waiter, give me 10000 yen worth of tempura.â
HUMAN SHELL - Calories and magic are just two different types of fuel. Feed me and control me.
THE ANGEL - T-thatâs probably too much, Homura-chan. Maybe you can sneak some into your cool shield, though!
MADOKA - Madoka doesnât say anything, but her eyes do bulge out slightly. She gives you a gentle pat on the shoulder and smiles at you.
HEALED MORALE +1
RATIONALITY COMPLEX - Displays of wealth like this can broadcast value to potential mates. This will increase your value in Madokaâs eyes, furthering along one of your goals.
THE ANGEL - I think you should just focus on enjoying the food, Homura-chan. Take a break, everything is okay.
Thank you.
Why donât you hate me?
YOU - Why donât you hate me?
THE ANGEL - Because I care about you, Homura-chan! And besides, you hate yourself far too much already.
Thank you.
THE ANGEL - Youâre welcome! Now, please, enjoy your meal with real Madoka. She loves you a lot too, you know.
#disco elysium#pmmm#madoka magica#yellowed pages#this took an unfortunate amount of my day dhdhdh wrote most of this in between running to do pointless chores
12K notes
·
View notes
Text
i'm remembering why i don't stay on dating apps for long and why i have a hard time making connections with folks in general. if i have to teach one more fucking person about polite conversation with people you do not know yet, i swear to GOD.
#hhhhh i hate making generalizations but it does tend to be the cis men who don't know how talking to people like people goes#if you ask to see someone's art and they deign to share it with you don't immediately offer concrit unless it's specifically asked for?#like yes i'm concerned Iconic Character might not be recognizable despite my use of references for once#but i did not actually ask for your help on this because i don't know what your credentials are#and you barely recognized it as it is which is telling me you might not be the biggest fan of Iconic Character as you might think!#Fuck youuuuuuuuuu#i said yes to the offer because if they are reasonable changes i haven't already considered Part Of The Art i might consider them to improv#because i'm already going to be working on it again today so it's not really going to add any more to my plate than i might already have#but i don't even remember how many similar instances of fucking BONKERS things to say to a stranger i've been like#hey you know people don't talk to each other like this right? you know that's not how conversation is right?#please for the love of god tell me you don't talk to people IRL like this#cause i might start forming ideas about why tf you're on this app in the first place#like i know neurodivergence can be a hurdle and everyone's a little poorly socialized since lockdowns started in 2020#but... i KNOW these guys are not talking to their buddies like this#they think they can get away with it because i look like a woman#and if i gotta be the person who corrects them i will but boy howdy nothing gives me the ick faster than having to tell you that people#do not talk to other people like the way you're talking to me right now we do not know each other#do not presume you can just say Whatever at me and think i'm still gonna wanna try and get to know you to sleep with you like wtf#hhhh sorry. i'm like. probably not going to continue talking to this one but i did give him the opening to respond so i'll see what he has#to say and then move on with my life#it wouldn't probably be such a big deal if the vast majority of people i've attempted to talk to actually#yknow... talked to me.#but like it's fine. i'm fine. it's fine#like yes i would love to have someone i'm able to have sex with as well as friendship and general intimacy#i don't want to teach someone else how to be a person i barely understand it myself
0 notes
Text
who to call to clean up after an "accident" than your sick and twisted military boyfriend? :D (dark!ghost x dark!fem!reader, 18+)
cw: dark!reader, dark!simon, horror movie vibes, graphic depictions of character death/murder, unhealthy relationship dynamics, one slip of daddy, smut, unprotected piv, simon "spit in my mouth" riley, reader and simon are kinda psycho :D
you've been so nice to her. really nice. you've let it slide off your back whenever she doesn't do her dishes. you pretend you don't notice when she borrows your shoes from the hallway and wears them out to dinner. you hide yourself in your room when she has her awful, loud guests over, and you have never once said anything about how she takes her sweet time in the shared bathroom in the morning and makes you late 2 days a week for work.
but this? this?
she needs to keep simon's name out of her fucking mouth.
"excuse me?" you say finally. your roommate is shrugging on her jacket to leave, her purse in her hand as she types on her phone, using it as a way to not make eye-contact with you. her long nails are tapping against the screen, and it feels like fucking drip water torture. "what the fuck did you just say?"
she sighs, irritated, rolling her eyes as she keeps tapping away at the screen.
"you're so dramatic, it was just a fucking joke."
"you know, i let a lot of things slide," you laugh, humorlessly, and you cross your arms over your chest as you follow her into the kitchen. "but you need to be careful what you say."
"i don't do anything except call it like i see it," she says, tossing her hair over her shoulder and looking at herself in the reflection of the mirror hanging on the wall. "you need to just...go out more. man like that isn't gonna stay for long if you don't give him something to go for. he's bored, you know. when you have him over here all the time. and i've totally caught him peeking at me after i shower, y'know."
"well why the fuck are you wearing nothing but a towel when my boyfriend is here, anyways?" you snap. "he's trying to be polite, he's a guest. what if i wore a fucking towel when you had your guy friends over?"
she laughs, poking at the edge of her lip to fix the gloss of her pout. "trust me, honey, no one's looking at you in a towel."
you step back, a little shocked. she rolls her eyes again, sighing.
"i didn't--"
"are you kidding me?" you retort. "you're the worst fucking roommate in the world, and i put up with all your bullshit, and now you're going to go so low as to insult the way i look just to make yourself feel better?" you make your way around the kitchen island. "you don't wash your fucking dishes, you steal my fucking clothes, you're always late on your rent so i have to spot you--"
"you know what, just because i'm fucking happy, and you're not, doesn't mean you have to take it out on me!"
"i am happy, you sorry bitch!" you cry. "i'm so fucking happy, you're the only thing in my life making me constantly miserable!"
"oh, shove it up your ass, you ungrateful little shit!" she snaps. "you're just so fucking insecure and hate me so badly just because simon would rather fuck a girl like me than have to spend another minute with--"
the crack of cast iron against her head shuts her up. it dents the side of her head easily, and her face smacks against the countertop before she crumples to the floor.
it's so fast. one minute, she's yapping, high-pitched voice straining your ears. the next, she's silent.
and she won't say simon's fucking name again.
you watch with bated breath as she folds into herself, her head hitting the hardwood last, a slow puddle of blood beginning to grow under the tendrils of her hair as your eyes move to the heavy pan you're still holding in your hands.
fuck, that's a lot of blood. god, you thought she was just full of fucking air.
you drop the pan once the rush of anger leaves your chest. it thunks onto the ground, and your hands shake as you see the specks of blood that are on the back of your hands, sprinkled over the shirt you wear. it stains your bare legs, even your toes, and you don't even want to look at the spray of it along the counters.
you should be crying, you think. you should feel bad. you're trembling a little, but you think it's just the adrenaline beginning to fade and not the guilt you know is supposed to be racking your insides.
you turn your eyes back to her. her eyes are dull. she doesn't move. it's so quiet now, utterly silent, and you take a deep breath as you take in the silence that you've craved for a long while now. you make your way quietly out of the kitchen, stepping over her body before going for your phone that sits on the coffee table in front of the couch.
you keep your eyes on her as you put your phone to your ear. it rings, and you tilt your head to the side as the blood begins to spiderweb under the kitchen table.
"'ello?"
you blink, looking towards the door. you clutch your phone a little tighter to your ear.
"simon?" you say softly. "a-are...are you busy?"
he hums lowly, chuckling, "no' at the moment, swee'eart, why?" he asks. "mmm...missed y'r voice..." you close your eyes as you hear the buckle of his belt. you try not to picture your giant of a boyfriend leaning back on his worn couch and shoving his jeans low enough to fuck his fist. "tolk t'me, luv...tell me 'ow much ya miss daddy."
you clear your throat gently, willing yourself to ignore the soft squelch of what you know is his hand around his cock, to not let it distract you from what's more important. "uhm...i liked the flowers you gave me, simon. t-they were beautiful."
the sounds on the other end of the phone quiet. you hear shuffling, and then a few moments later, the clink of his car keys.
"tha' right, baby?" he asks, and you close your eyes as you hear the front door of his flat opening. he's already on the way, already coming.
"yeah," you sniffle. "really nice sunflowers."
a yellow flower. he huffs on the other end of the phone, breathing a little easier.
"good girl," he murmurs, and then the line cuts. you set the phone down, making your way back to the kitchen and taking a seat at the table. you watch as the blood continues to curl over the floor. you make no attempt to help her; you just swing your feet under you as you look at her spoiled outfit, just grateful she isn't wearing your shoes or one of your jackets. you would hate to have to throw something out that she got all dirty.
there's a curt knock at the door ten minutes later, and then it opens. simon shuts the door behind him, cracking his neck by moving it from side to side before narrowing his eyes at you. you bite your lip, blinking, forgetting suddenly why he is here when he looks so fucking good. he's got a sweatshirt on under his windbreaker, worn jeans tucked into his boots; you like these jeans, his ass looks incredible in them.
"wot happened?" he asks. you stand, remembering your place. your lip starts trembling, and simon's eyes soften just a little. he's wearing his balaclava, hood up over his head and jacket zipped up, shadowing any true expression on his face. his gait sounds heavy as he lets his hands out of his pockets, coming towards you. when he steps into the kitchen, his eyes dart towards your roommate who's still on the floor, laid out unnaturally just by the oven.
he lets out a low breath, clicking his tongue under the mask. you hold your breath as you wait for his reaction.
"bloody hell," simon mutters, reaching up and throwing his hood off. you wring your hands together nervously, your eyes beginning to sting with tears. you brace for the accusations, for the inevitable terror of facing the music. simon is military, for fuck's sake, why the fuck did you think turning to him would be a good idea?
"i...i-i--" you start, looking up at him, and he holds up a hand, taking the side of your face into his palm before smoothing a gloved thumb over your bottom lip. you blink in confusion, not understanding.
"'s olright, baby," he shushes you, shaking his head. "don't cry."
"simon, i--" you sputter a little, gripping his wrist gently. "i just--i couldn't do it anymore, she just--"
he pities you. maybe you can explain. maybe if you tell him a warped story of what happened, he can help you. he must know someone. he must have important friends, he must--
he uses his free hand to move his mask up over his nose, and you lean into him when he bends, kissing you warmly. your eyes flutter shut, and you shuffle closer as he kisses you sloppy, kisses you hot. you mewl as he slips his tongue into your mouth, licking over your teeth and humming low as he pulls away. his eyes are flashing.
mmm. love.
"hmm..." simon licks his lips, smiling a little. he looks over you, almost pensive, his eyes scanning over your face before he settles back on your eyes. it's tender, the way he looks at you. romantic. "let's get this off of ya."
he reaches for the large shirt you are wearing, pulling it up and over your head. he crumples it into a ball before tossing it on top of your roommate, nodding his head behind you.
it's then that you realize simon isn't going to do the noble thing. he isn't going to call the police. he isn't going to turn you in, make you explain, he seems uninterested in knowing what really happened. no, he already knows what happened. but that's not important.
his pretty, perfect girl got into a little trouble. and he's going to make this go away.
"go on, luv. take a nice shower, yeah?" simon turns you around and pushes on your back gently. you suck in a shaky breath when he fondles your ass, pulling on your panties gently. "mmm...take these off, too."
you slip your panties down your legs, handing them to him.
"they have blood on them, too?" you ask, wiping your face, and he chuckles lowly.
"nah," he shrugs, stuffing them into his back pocket after taking a little sniff. "these are just for me."
jesus fucking christ, there's really something wrong with him. there's something really, really wrong with him.
and something wrong with me.
simon looks you up and down, his eyes catching on your naked body for just a few moments before he nods his head again.
"go on," he tells you. "before i get distracted." you pause for a moment, tilting your head back a little as he reaches out and cups one of your breasts in his big hand. you bite your lip, swallowing back a heavy breath as he flicks his thumb over your nipple gently. "greatest tits 've ever seen," he mumbles, scrunching his nose under the mask before he lets you go. "yeah, go on, baby." it takes everything in you to walk away when you see him reach down with that same hand and grip his bulge through his jeans, adjusting himself as he turns back to the mess in the kitchen.
when you shut the bathroom door behind you, you hear shuffling in the living room. the coffee table scraping. the couch being pushed. the rustle of the rug you have there. he grunts a little, and you hear his boots track from the kitchen back to the living room.
you turn the water on hot. you decide to take a bath, not looking at yourself in the mirror as you sink into the tub and plug the drain. you make the water scalding, and it soothes your sore muscles as you rest your cheek against the edge of the tub and stare at the door.
you're not sure how long you stay there. long enough for the water to nearly slosh over the edge of the tub and for simon to swing the bathroom door open, seemingly done with his...tasks.
he's taken his sweatshirt off. just a black t-shirt tucked into jeans, and there's a slight pant to his breaths that tell you he's exerted some energy. you notice he has his gloves still on, but before he touches you, he takes them off and tosses them into the sink.
"move over," simon mutters, starting to undress. you look up at him as he undoes the button on his pants, shucking his shirt off and into the corner before dropping his jeans. the water swishes as you sit up, and you swallow hard when simon kicks his boots and pants off, his cock hanging heavy as his mask is the last to hit the floor.
fuck, he's so pretty.
he has no regard for his size. he simply steps into the tub behind you, taking a seat. he looks comically large in your small bathtub, and you squeak a little as the water spills over the edge of the bath and wets the floor. he hums as he feels the hot water on his back. you don't say anything as his hands start to turn the water a little red. you just look up, away, at him.
you shuffle between his legs, tucking yourself into his space. you can't help but look him up and down, admiring his naked physique. he's just hot. big arms, thick thighs, sunburnt tattoos and scars cutting across his face. he hasn't shaved today, so there's some stubble along his jaw, but your eyes focus a little too much on his girthy length, heavy as it sits on his stomach and leaks a little there. his fat stomach, all solid and pudgy, such a nice place for you to rest your hands.
"you did good today," simon says finally. you look at him, and he tilts his head to the side. his approval makes your chest warm. "callin' me like tha'. wot a good girl you are."
keeping quiet on the phone is what he doesn't add out loud.
you purse your lips, trying not to keen at the praise, but it's hard not to when he reaches over and slides his hand over your shoulder, thumbing at your jaw.
"i-i didn't...didn't know what to do," you admit, and he clicks his tongue, shaking his head. you didn't know what to do, so you called him. level-headed enough to not do something rash and call someone else, no, you called him.
"mmm...tha's wot i'm 'ere for, luv," simon soothes you. "made such a little mess..."
you close your eyes. it's sick. deranged. fuck, it feels nice.
why don't i feel anything?
"i know. i'm sorry."
"nothin' ta be sorry about."
you slump into his arms, resting your cheek on his solid chest. you can feel his cock pulsing against your tummy, and you adjust yourself in the water, straddling him as you rest your chin on his pecs and look up at him through watery eyes.
you aren't sad. no. not sad at all. simon has shown you what he will do for the you. the lengths he will go. what he'll forgive just to take care of you. he's so capable, so understanding.
sick. twisted. mine.
"then i'll just say thank you," you mumble, grinding your hips slowly. simon hums, a wicked smile coming over his scarred face. he licks over his bottom lip, big hands gripping you by the fat of your hips as you grip the edges of the tub for stability. "say thank you to my big, strong man for taking such good care of me..."
he chuckles, his eyes lowering, watching your tits sway as you fit your pussy over his length and grind down on him.
"tha' so, baby?"
you nod.
"mhm," you whine. "how can i thank you, my big boy? how can i show you how grateful i am for cleaning up after me, hmm?" you bend at the waist, kissing him wet and warm, and he hisses as you suck his tongue into your mouth. he tastes like cigarettes, and normally you would curse him for it, but right now it tastes so much like him, and you lick around his teeth trying to taste more of that sweet nicotine.
"fuck--such a naughty little girl..." he snickers, reaching down. you sigh when he slides his big palms over your ass, forcing you to grind slower, the tip of his cock sliding through your folds leisurely. you grip the edges of the tub tighter, pressing down to give you more leverage to grind down harder. "make such a mess, oll the time..." you gasp when he presses into you just enough, the tip breaching your entrance and forcing you to squeeze around him, your cunt trying to suck him in. "olways needin' me ta pick up afta ya..."
you giggle, sliding your hands up his chest, gripping his shoulders for leverage as you sink down onto him. he grits his teeth as you do, his eyes focused on the way his cock disappears inch by inch until you're seated down in his lap, his length kissing deep and twitching excitedly. he always feels like a teenager again whenever you fuck--like you're the first pretty girl to ever wet his cock.
you cup his cheeks finally, smoothing your thumbs under his eyes as you bring his gaze up to meet yours. you swallow hard, looking down at him.
"i-i love you, simon," you breathe. he stills underneath you, his jaw clenching as he frowns just a little. you come a little closer, nuzzling your nose against his, your thumb falling to trace the outline of his torn lip. "i should've said it a long time ago...i-i..."
"heart's beatin' out y'r chest, luv," he mutters lowly. "'s olright...'m not goin' anywhere."
it's so disgusting. you should be fucking ill. you should be scrambling to the toilet, your breakfast halfway up your throat. you should be crying, emotional, begging simon to tell the cops that it was all your fault, because it is. he should've come here and made you do the level-headed thing and confess your terrible crime.
he shouldn't be here, sitting underneath you in your tub, cock-deep inside of you after helping you commit murder and then fucking clean it all up.
"what did i do?" you gasp, sitting up. you move to get out of the tub, but simon growls, putting two firm hands on your ass and shoving you back down on his cock, making you cry. "w-what did i do? s-simon, why don't i feel bad, why am i not sorry--?!"
simon tsks, feigning comfort. he juts his bottom lip out into a pout, mocking your little cries.
"oh, luvvie, don't start cryin' now," he chuckles. "don't start pretending like y'care."
uhm...
"simon--"
"no one likes a liar."
you're still trying to pretend, and he knows this. you're still trying to act how someone normally would react. someone normal, someone who thinks rationally, would never have picked up the pan in the first place. and even if they had, they would've scrambled, cried, picked up the phone and confessed, called an ambulance as they tried to get her to start breathing again, put both hands on her chest and tried to get her wake up.
but you didn't. you watched, unnervingly calm, as she stained the hardwood with her blood. you watched as her eyes glassed over, lifeless, and you watched as her insides began to paint the floor in abstract shapes as you gave it time to spread. and not once during that time, or waiting for simon, did you think to help her.
you didn't want to help her. and you certainly didn't think she deserved to get back up. maybe she hadn't done anything quite harsh enough to deserve death in someone else's eyes. annoying, overbearing, rude.
but it's hard to feel bad when she talked about simon. when she called him by his name. when you've seen her let her towel slip when he's in her vicinity, trying to coax him into her room when you're looking away.
you should've taken one of the throwing knives that simon hides in his boot and thrown it at her then, just for that.
"we're cut from the same bloody cloth, baby," simon says, almost accusingly. you grip the edges of the tub, trying to stand again, but he cants his hips and fucks up into you, drawing a frenzied moan out of you. you reach for his shoulders as he does it again, his tongue darting out before he licks a fat stripe over your pebbled nipple. "'s olright. 's okay, luv. don't worry. don't hafta get y'r hands dirty, swee'eart, i've got it."
"but simon," you whine, but all he does is shake his head. you don't have to put on this morality act for him. you don't have to pretend that you are sorry for something that you had every right to do, you don't have to explain to him why you aren't feeling the way you should be feeling.
simon doesn't care about how you should feel. he only cares about how you actually feel.
"she was in y'r way," simon grunts. "always bein' a bloody brat." he fists your hair and brings your mouth to his, groaning as you tighten around his cock. "'ow many times did she fuck ya over, baby, hmm? 'ow many times did she steal y'r fuckin' things, come outta the loo wearin' nothin' but her fuckin' knickers, yeah? 'ow many times?"
you kiss him, frantic, digging your nails into his pecs and dragging them angrily.
yeah. fuck her. fuck what she did to me, fuck the way she behaved, fuck her stupid face and her stupid attitude and her stupid little games.
"called ya names..." he's hitting your sweet spot now, making you cry from pleasure. your pussy feels so hot, squeezing him because you know he's right, and the way he fucks this time makes you think he really knows what you are and knows exactly how to get you there. "wot a fuckin' twat. deserved every bit o' it, baby."
you meet his eyes, dark and cruel. he's still moving, still holding onto your hips and drawing out little whines, but it's different suddenly, it's more. you nod, understanding.
simon is terrible. no good. his head isn't in the right place, maybe it never has been. you wonder, briefly, if this is what he does when he's at work, if these are the things that he's used to. maybe simon has been in service too long--maybe he doesn't understand that you aren't at war here, that you can't just kill and clean up, that you aren't in the field.
"she deserved it," you whimper, and he grins, all teeth, all mean.
"tha's it."
"she was such a bitch."
"fuckin' right."
"she got what was coming for her."
"nnghhh--fuck, baby, gonna make me fuckin' cum, tolkin' like tha'," he hisses. you practically smack him as you grab onto his scarred face, gritting your teeth as you glare down at him. his lips part, and you spit in his mouth as he fucks up into you, thighs hitting your ass with a wet smack that makes your head spin.
"and i'll get rid of the next bitch that so much as looks your way, simon."
the kiss is searing. hot, blinding, white noise fills your ears as he cums with you, stuffing you full as he cums hard, a pained groan leaving him as he collapses against the porcelain tub with a harsh thud. you follow him, chasing after him, kissing him between heavy breaths as you don't make any effort to move off of him. when simon opens his eyes, he can't help but smile.
he's never seen his reflection without a mirror.
#awwwwwwwwww thanks for taking care of me pookie#thanks for indulging my terrible mind and telling me its okay ;)#simon ghost riley#simon riley#simon ghost riley x reader#simon riley x reader#simon riley x you#ghost mw2#ghost cod#ghost call of duty#ghost mwii#ghost x reader#cod#call of duty#simon riley smut#simon ghost riley smut#simon thoughts#dark!ghost#dark!simon
4K notes
·
View notes
Text
âgive me the first tasteâ | 10k
logan howlett x f!reader
part 2 of âGUILTY PLEASUREâ
"Your hungry flirt borders intrusion / And I'm building memories on things we have not said / Full is not heavy as empty, not nearly, my love / Give me the first taste / Let it begin, heaven cannot wait forever / Darling, just start start the chase, I'll let you win." The First Taste by Fiona Apple

SUMMARY: From the moment you first laid eyes on Logan, you knew he was a tough nut to crack. But if thereâs one thing you love, itâs a challenge. As your relationship grows, youâre determined to show him that, in this universe, he can also be loved.
WARNINGS/TAGS: mdni - smut 18+ fluff. angst. drinking. dirty talk. slow-burnish. age-gap (reader is 25). once again wade saves the day. domestic!logan. soft dom!logan. logan calls reader âkidâ. they watch (500) days of summer. oral sex (f and m receiving). fingering. thigh riding. thumb sucking. throat fucking. multiple orgasms. unprotected p in v. creampie (i would say iâm sorry but iâd be lying)
AUTHORâS NOTE: jeez. hi guys!!! hope youâre doing alright. this is the 2nd part to âguilty pleasure.â writing for these two has been a total rollercoaster, but god was it worth it. as i always tell you, english isnât my first language, so if you come across any mistake and you feel like letting me know, thereâs no problem. thank you so much for all the support youâve been giving my posts. iâm happy strangers out there take the time to read my silly stories :)
A girl and a mutant walk into an apartmentâŠ
Actually, youâre still trying to come up with the rest of the joke. But one thingâs true: Loganâs about to set foot in your place.
You curse under your breath, putting both your hands to work as you struggle to open the door. âFucking swollen wood. I hate humidity,â you mutter, glancing back at Logan, who frowns as you keep trying different maneuvers to get the door to function properly.
Itâs a shitty situation overall. And having that gorgeous man practically glued to your back isnât helping in any way. You can tell he wants to give you a hand, but youâre not having itâwomen in STEM or something of the sort.
âMay Iââ he starts, though you cut him off before he can finish.
âIâve got this. Just need toââ you say, ramming your shoulder into the door with enough force to make it finally give away. Almost stumbling over the carpet but managing to catch yourself, you sigh in relief. Meanwhile, Logan stands still, scrutinizing you until you gesture for him to enter. âWelcome to the smallest apartment in New York City. It's nothing fancy, but itâs got everything you need for a comfortable stay on a budget. Make yourself at home!â
Logan narrows his eyes, the tiniest smirk playing on his lips before stepping inside. Each of his movements seems to be premeditated as he tosses his jacket onto the couch, surveying the room. A portrait of when you were a kid, probably six or seven years old, catches his attention. He tilts his head, picking up the picture to examine it more closely, and then flashes you a lopsided grin. âHow cute.â
âWell, Iâve changed a lot,â you take the picture from his hands, returning it to the shelf where he had gotten it from.Â
âWell,â he echoes, mocking your tone, âyour beauty certainly hasnât.â
His eyes bore into you as you meet his gaze. What amazes you most is that heâs being completely honest. In a heartbeat, you look away, wondering whatâs gotten into you. Usually, youâre not this awkwardâyouâve learned how to take compliments over the years, knowing how to smile just right, to flutter your eyelashes. To blush and giggle in command. Those were the tools that helped you to survive countless first datesâyour dearest aces up your sleeve.
Thereâs no use denying that they remained just that: first, failed dates. You hope you never have to go back to dating apps after this.
âAre you hungry? âCause Iâm starving,â you say, trying to walk away from him, although heâs faster, catching your hand in his.Â
âHey,â he urges you to make eye contact with him, his voice perplexingly soft. âIs everything okay?â
You nod so vigorously that you nearly strain your neck. âIâm fine, I swear. I just never get past this point.â
Inching closer, he presses his lips together for a split second, his brows furrowing in confusion. âYou lost me there.â
âGuys who come into my apartment donât tend to call back,â you admit, a flush creeping up your face, cheeks getting hotter. âI happen to believe itâs a curse, though Iâve kissed, like, a hundred toads so far and it still wonât break.â
âSo yâthink youâre gonna scare me off,â he raises an eyebrow, grinning. His rough fingers become gentle as they tuck a strand of hair behind your ear. âItâs sweet. Should be the other way around.â
Wow. You two are a match made in heaven.
As you detach yourself from his embrace and head to the kitchen, you decide to look for something edible in the fridge, finding different trays of food from days ago, none of which look appetizing or suitable for feeding the Tin Woodman standing behind you.
All of a sudden, the unmistakable metallic sound of Loganâs claws unsheathing rings in your ears, forcing you to spin around. The image that unfolds before you is peculiar, to say the least: heâs cornering your cat against the door.
Why is he about to fight a cat?
âPlease donât kill him?â you take a step in his direction and scoop the little ball of white fur into your arms. Logan stares at both of you, eyes squinted and brows knitted. âIâm sure heâs the cutest feline youâve ever seen. Have mercy on him.â
âI didnât know you had a cat.â
âEarnest wasnât aware of your existence either,â you reply, scratching along the animalâs back. He purrs beside your neck, his yellowish eyes never leaving Loganâs. âEarnest, this is Logan. He has claws just like you.â
âDonât you dare compare me to that,â Logan warns you, retracting his claws with a sigh. You canât help but wonder if he ever feels tranquil, at peace. âYâknow, youâve doomed him to bad fortune with that name. Is he at least toilet trained?â
âAre you hating on The Importance of Being Earnest?â you ask, expecting a retort, though apparently the playâs title doesnât ring a bell for him. âOscar Wilde?â
âWho do you think youâre talkinâ to, kid?â
Nowâs your time to roll your eyes, setting the cat down and letting it run away. He likes to hide in the bathroomâdonât ask why, because not even you know the answer to that. You flick your gaze up back to Logan, placing your hands on your hips. âSee, you gave him trust issues.â
âHeâll survive. Donât they have seven lives?â
This is the perfect conversation to have with someone who just ate you out thirty minutes ago: how many lives do cats have. Jesus.
At some point, Logan flops onto the couch, stretching out. You shudder as you hear him crack his neck, the popping sound getting on your nerves. He pats the empty side of the sofa, spreading his thighs until heâs almost taking up all the space. âCome here.â
Putting aside all your thoughts, you accept the invitation. You sit down, motionless, and his arm grazes the cushion behind your head, pulling you closer to him. You rest your cheek on his chest, letting out a deep sigh, one that youâve been holding in since you got to the apartment. Is it possible that he knows you craved this? This proximity, this kind of affection. To be heldâitâs been your only wish for months. He drums his fingers on your shoulder blades, then starts rubbing your back ever so lightly.
Far from dozing off, you feel alive.
Itâs hard not to lose track of time and space when you find yourself immersed in the warmth he offers, and thatâs when you realize how deeply youâre falling for this man. âLogan?â the mere thought of asking him whatâs been on your mind terrifies you. The last thing you want is to ruin thingsâor whatever it is that you have. He hums, a low, heavy sound in his throat, indicating you to continue. âI have a question.â
âAsk away.â
You lift your face from his chest and look him in the eye. The cityâs still alive outside, with music and chatter sneaking in through the window. Everything seems to be perfect, and you wish you could stay like thisâjust staring at him as if he were a painting in a museum, and you the critic who canât stop writing articles about its beauty.
Okay, that was⊠weirdly specific.Â
Logan tries to hide his smile as you peck his lips repeatedly. For a moment, you almost forget what you were going to ask him in the first place. But then heâs ready to listen, and you a wave of nausea washes over you.
âI know that we came here to⊠engage in adult practices.â
âFucking, you mean.â
âI didnât want to be that straightforward, but yeah,â you say, shaking your head as to rearrange your thoughts. âWould you mind if we stayed like this?â to emphasize your point, you kick your shoes off and put your legs on top of his lap. He observes the whole sequence without daring to utter a word. âDonât get me wrong. Iâd love to try that too. I truly do. But⊠right now, all I want is to cuddle,â heâs still silent, making you even more nervous. âIâm sorry. Is that okay with you?â
His whole body engulfs yours, your cheek coming to rest once again in its original position. You can feel the rhythmic beating of his heart, each breath he takes, the air he exhales dampening your nape. Logan peppers your neck with chaste kisses before pressing his lips to your temple. His voice comes out strained, partially muffled by your hair. âWho do you take me for, huh?â heâs right there, beside your ear, fucking everywhere. There isnât a single centimeter of your exposed skin that he isnât touching, marking as his. You donât give him an answer, in part because youâre unsure of what to say. He takes your silence as a cue to keep talking. âLet me take you to bed.â
âI can walk on my own.â
âI know,â he mutters, standing up with you in his arms, one arm beneath your knees and the other one under your shoulders. Loganâs not used to being this cautious, this patient with someone heâs known for less than two weeks. You see it in his eyes when he lets his guard downâsomething that has cracked, a shell thatâs been broken.
As he places you gently on top of the covers, he lingers for a moment, crouching beside the bed and searching for your lowered gaze. His fingers are warm as he tilts your chin up. âI didnât come here just to have sex with you. That was a possibility, of courseâbut itâs not the main reason why Iâm here,â he rasps, words accompanied by the light brush of his lips against yours for a quick, brief kiss. âI care about you. A lot. Iâm fine with whatever we do as long as I get to be close to you,â he grabs your hand, giving it a reassuring squeeze. He then goes back to his usual bossy self, his demeanor changing. âAnd I donât want to hear you apologizing for not wanting to have sex ever again. Understood?â
âYes, sir.â
âNow youâre making jokes?â
âI canât have serious conversations,â you confess, observing the look of pure confusion on his face. âItâs true. I once spoke at a funeral and they cut me off forty seconds into my speech.â
Logan laughs at your sudden confession, his eyes crinkling at the edges. Rising to his feet, he begins to unbutton his flannel, pausing after the first few buttons are undone, waiting for your approval. âDo you want me to stay tonight?âÂ
âIf thatâs what you want.â
âIt is what I want.â
âAre you sure?â
âDonât make me change my mind.â
His words donât hide any real threatâthat you know.
You stifle your laughter, shedding your clothes. Instead of going to the bathroom to change, you toss your work clothes carelessly to the floor, opting for an old pair of pajamas that are the complete opposite of sexy. They surely have seen better days.
Loganâs eyes trail over you, taking his time to analyze the faded lettering on your wrinkled shirt. âKeep calm and eat pizza?â he reads aloud.
âHey. I bought it when I was seventeen.â
âYou could use a new wardrobe.â
âWell, what about you?â you tease, toying with his belt. âYouâre gonna sleep like this in my bed?â
âCanât wait for me to get my shirt off, huh?â he grins, that all-too-familiar smile on his lips.
You play along, folding your arms over your chest. âYou think so highly of yourself.â
Without breaking eye contact, Logan unbuckles his jeans, letting them pool around his ankles. He then shrugs off his flannel, leaving him in just his briefs and vest. You scan his body, and the room suddenly feels a hundred degrees hotter, the air between you thickening. Logan notices your reaction, chuckling. âDonât get too excited. This is all youâre getting today.â
âI think Iâve already heard that before.â
âKid.â
You raise your hands in surrender, showing him your palms and mouthing âsorryâ. Approaching your bed, you pull back the covers and slip into it. When you see Logan still standing there, you frown. âWhere are your manners? Come here. Iâm very impatient.â
He grumbles something under his breath, but he doesnât make you wait long. He proceeds to get under the sheets beside you, occupying that side of the bed thatâs always been empty. As you both settle in, facing each other, you canât help but giggle, your contagious laugh getting to him. âWhat now?â
âYouâre beautiful,â you whisper, tracing the bridge of his nose with your index finger, a featherlight touch that has him closing his eyes. In the soft glow of the night, with the cityâs distant sounds filtering in, he looks breathtaking. âI mean it.â
âDo you have an off switch?â
âIâm⊠not sure. Letâs find out tomorrow.â
âYou need to sleep,â he pulls you onto his chest with firm but gentle hands. He intertwines his legs with yours, holding you close.
âWait. I have a game to play.â
âItâs late.â
âPlease?â
He sighs. âOkay.â
âWe have to make confessions until we fall asleep.âÂ
âYou just want to talkâthat doesnât even qualify as a game.â
âIt does in this universe,â you reply, feeling his chest rumble with a chuckle as you settle more comfortably against him. âIâll start: remember the first night you came to the bar?â he hums in acknowledgment. âIt wasnât Burger Night. We donât serve food. I just wanted an excuse to talk to you.â
He kisses the top of your head, his arms tightening around you. âI knew. You donât have a kitchen down there, baby,â he falls silent, taking his time to come up with a confession of his own. âI have a fear of flying.â
âReally? You, of all people?â
âI wasnât expecting to be judged.â
âOh, donât be such a crybaby,â you tease, burying your face further into the crook of his shoulder, inhaling his scent. He shivers slightly where your nose touches his skin. âI like you. Itâs kind of scary, and Iâm sure saying something like this probably goes against the rules of dating 101, but I do. I feel safe with you, likeâlike this is where Iâm supposed to be.â
Almost as if the pieces of the puzzle finally fit together, you think to yourself, though the words stay unspoken.
Youâve come to learn that Loganâs not a man of many wordsâheâs more of the âshow, donât tellâ kind of guy. So when he makes you lift your face, youâre not surprised by the way he kisses you: hungrily. Passionately, like a starved man at an all-you-can-eat buffet. A soft whimper gets lost somewhere in your throat as his tongue makes its way into your mouth, languidly stroking yours.
âWe didnât brush our teeth,â you whisper against his lips, laughing when he groans in exasperation.
âYou love having the final say, donât you?â
âIâm being serious, Logan. Cavities are a real issue for me.â
âYou can always get new teeth.â
âBut my morning breathââ
âItâll stink anyway, and so will mine,â he responds, taking a deep breath and clearing his throat once he settles into his ideal sleep position. âGood night.â
âNight,â you murmur, nuzzling your cheek against his neck. Despite your efforts to ignore it, being cradled like this feels incredible. You canât believe you went twenty-five years without it.
Just as youâre about to drift off, curiosity strikes. âCan you get tattoos?â
âBub, I was actually falling asleep.â
âOh, okay. Sorry,â you mumble, feeling a bit sheepish.
More silence.
âLogan?â
âHmm?â
âWhat was the Great Depression like?â
âFuck me,â he mutters, his voice gruff as he shifts lightly. âIt was fine. Now go to sleep.â
And you do, but not for long. An abrupt coldness wakes you up, eyes wide open, feeling disoriented. Itâs still pitch black outside, far quieter than when you first fell asleep. The clock on your nightstand reads itâs 3:17 am, though it feels like youâve only been in bed for five minutes.
Then you see himâheâs twitching in his sleep on the far side of the bed, his painful grunts reaching your ears. Most of what he says is unintelligible, but thereâs one word he keeps repeating over and over again without fail: âNo.â
You donât usually have nightmares. Whatâs the best way to wake someone from one? Youâre still thinking when he starts mumbling again, his voice thick with distress, and now heâs throwing his arms in the air as if he were fighting off somethingâor someoneâin his dreams.
Pressing your hands to his cheeks, you attempt to hold his face steady. He clenches his fists, his breath quickening the more he battles whateverâs haunting him. âLogan,â you whisper at first, subtly shaking his shoulders, but his eyebrows stay furrowed, deep in his nightmare. This time, you tighten your grip, fully sitting on top of him. âLogan. Logan! Wake up!â
Without warning, youâre on your back, pinned against the mattress. Loganâs straddling your hips, caging you in with his body, the weight of his adamantium skeleton pressing down. Your hands are trapped beneath his, and you watch as he clenches his jaw, teeth bared in a way that looks painful. His eyes are so dark and wild you barely recognize him, prominent veins throbbing in his neck with each labored breath he takes.
âLogan,â your own voice sounds unnatural, forced, as you do your best to bring him back to reality. âItâs me. Youâre alright.â
That seems to get through him. Logan stares at you in disbelief, his eyes softening as they take in your terrified expression. He abruptly pulls away, retreating to the nearest wall. Heâs gasping for air, slamming his eyes shut, his legs trembling. The only sound you can hear is his rapid breathing. You get up from the bed, taking a step in his direction, but you donât manage to go any further since he stops you with a shout.
âStay right there!â heâs growling, pointing his finger at you. âIâm serious. Donât come any closer.â
âLoganâŠâ
âPlease, no!â his voice increases in pitch, not being able to meet your eyes. âPlease. Just stay there.â
You comply, not wanting to upset him any further. Sitting back on your knees, you try to appear calm. A man so strong, capable of things you canât even understand. A weapon turned against himself now stands before you, pushing you away as if his presence were poisonous. He slumps to the floor, the fabric of his vest soaked with sweat.
Once heâs fully conscious, you cautiously crawl toward him, watching his every move. On a random day, this might have been funny for both of you, but right now, thereâs no room for laughter. Logan shakes his head, his shoulders tensing when you reach out to hug him, wrapping your arms around his broad frame. It takes him a couple of minutes, but eventually, his body sags against yours. For a while, neither of you speaks. You just thread your fingers through his hair, hoping the closeness will help soothe him. âFeeling better?â you whisper in the shell of his ear, and he pulls back to look you in the eye. You caress his cheek, his stubble rough against your skin. âWelcome back.â
âIâm sorry,â itâs the first thing he says, covering your hand with his. One by one, he kisses your knuckles, still shaking his head. âI donât know what came over me.â
âYou had a nightmareâitâs not like you could control it.â
âBut I couldâve hurt you,â he says, lowering his gaze to your wrists, where his fingerprints have left their mark. âGod. Iâm so sorry. I have to go.â
âWait!â you grab his arm, your mouth setting in a hard line, stopping him from leaving. âDonât run away from me, not now. Donât push me away, Logan.â
âI couldâve done something much worse.â
âBut you didnât. It was a nightmare, baby. You didnât know,â you kiss his forehead, hoping to talk some sense into him. âPlease, stay. Letâs try to get some more sleep.â
âWhat ifââ
You hold his face close to yours, your noses brushing. âYou wonât hurt me.âÂ
This time, he lets you keep him close, the roles now reversed. You can see him fighting his exhaustion, not wanting to fall asleep. But the more you play with his hair, the harder it is for him to stay awake.
âIâm alright,â he says, seemingly reading your mind. Itâs hard to tell whether heâs reassuring you or himself.
âI know,â you knead his shoulder, aiming to ease the tension knotted there. âYou better sleep, or I might start rambling again.â
A faint, tired hum escapes him, at long last allowing his eyes to close. âI like hearing you talk,â he murmurs, his breath warm against your collarbone, drifting off soon after that.
You continue to hug him, feeling the weight of his body gradually relax against yours as his breathing evens out. The room is quiet, but your mind is far from it: a tornado of emotions swirls within youâconcern, relief, love, and something else you canât quite decipher. It isnât until sleep finally claims you too that your brain stops going a hundred kilometers an hour.
The most surreal Sunday night of your whole life.
âSo⊠when will you let me see Lolo again?â
Wadeâs question makes you stop mid-pour, flicking your eyes between the drink and him. A few seats away, you hand a glass to Adam. Returning to where Wadeâs currently sitting, you dry your hands on your apron. âWhy are you even here?â you ask, raising an eyebrow, and he gives half a shrug. âLast time I checked, I wasnât holding him against his will.â
âHeâs been crashing at your place almost every night. You have your own methods, woman,â he raises one finger, then quickly adds another, pointing at your shirt. âTwo methods, in fact.â
At that, you laugh mirthlessly, shaking your head with a grin. âIâm surprised anyone would willingly date you.â
âI could ask you the same thing,â he retorts, taking a tentative sip of his beer and leaning back in his chair.
You glance at him while you wipe down the bar, looking for something to occupy your hands. âHeâs not my boyfriendâyet.â
Wade mimics a punch in his chest, just where his heartâs supposed to be, though youâre starting to question whether he has one. His lips form a small, exaggerated pout. âThat must hurt, doll. You got yourself into a situationship with a goddamn fossil. Good luck getting out of that.â
âItâs not that bad,â you say, rolling your eyes. âWeâre cool this way. Thereâs absolutely no need for a title.â
âOkay, letâs rehearse that one more time because you look like youâre about to cry,â he lifts an eyebrow, drawing nearer. âYou want the title, right?â
âI donât.â
He props his chin on his hand, laughing at you. âYes, you do. You canât fool me.â
âI said I donât.â
âI said I donât,â he mocks you, kicking his legs and puckering his lips.
You canât help but throw the towel down on the counter with irritation, giving in. âOkay! Of course, I want the fucking title.â
âThere she is!â he exclaims, throwing his hands up in a triumphant gesture. âGlad weâre speaking the truth now,â he tilts his head to the side, noticing your sudden silence. âHey, drop the long face. Iâm sure heâs been thinking about it. In order to understand Logan, I usually compare him to elders over ninety.â
âWhy would you do that?â you ask, your tone a mix of mild annoyance and curiosity.
âJust think about it! Senior citizens didnât date for too long in the past. Theyâd go straight from strangers to lovers. Take my grandparents, for example: in the span of one year, they met at a party, then got married, and had five kids. Do you really want to have a litter of Loganâs grumpy, hairy puppies?â
âWade, thatâs not even possible.â
âThe point is,â he continues, finishing his beer and wiping his mouth with the back of his hand, âLoganâs rusty in this area, alright? Iâd bet a thousand dollars he probably dated Cleopatra.â
âHow did you pass History in high school?â
âI never graduated, but keep that between us,â he lifts his shoulders, shrugging. He spins the empty bottle, contemplating his next words. âYou should tell him how you feel and what you want. Thatâs what works best for Vanessa and me. Itâs easier that wayâyou canât expect him to just guess.â
You wrap your arms around yourself. âI just wish heâd realize it on his own.â
âWell, sometimes you need to give the other person a bit of guidance. Iâm just laying out the basics of a relationship here. Did your parents hate each other or something?â
The irony of it all. âThey got divorced when I was little.âÂ
âOh, god,â Wade sighs, rubbing his temples before glancing at you. âLet me get this straight: Mommy and Daddy werenât exactly the poster children for love. And you also happen to be a bartender. Anything else, honey? Please tell me youâre at least getting laid, because otherwise, Iâm going to feel tremendously sorry for you and your mental health.â
Just then, you hear your name being called. Smiling at Wade, you mumble: âSaved by the bell.â Once youâre back from taking some orders, Wade jumps to his feet, coming around the counter to hug you.
âDude, whatâs the matter with you?â you ask, loosely returning the hug.Â
âYouâre a fucking survivor,â he whispers in your ear, genuinely sounding concerned. âI donât know how you do itâyou seem so put together. I wouldâve lost it by now. A life without sex sounds awful.â
âJesus, Wade! Get off!â you stretch your arm to punch him in the back, earning a groan from him. âBack to your seat, gentleman. I certainly donât need your pity.â
âIâm a certified sexologist. Your secretâs safe with me,â he declares with a smirk, gesturing to his empty beer. âBut first, Iâm gonna need more of this tasty apple juice.â
âI hope youâve got some cash on you,â you say, getting him another beer. âWhy do I get the feeling Logan would kill us if he knew weâre talking about this?â
âIsnât that what makes it even better?â
Swaying on your feet, you scrunch your nose, momentarily lost in thought. âHe wonât let me touch him. I donât know if itâs me that does something wrong. We do have our⊠moments, but he takes care of himself. And usually in the bathroom.â
Wade goes white in front of you. âHow long has this been going on?â
âOver a month.â
âOh. Thatâs bad, like, really bad.â
âThanks! Iâll be sleeping on the highway tonight. You can always join me.â
âDoll, itâs nothing that canât be fixed, alright?â he waves his hand dismissively, then sets his palms flat on the counter. âI know Iâm starting to sound like a broken record, but talking to him is your best bet. This isnât something you can just brush under the carpet. Youâre like a goddamn radioâput it to good use.â
Just as youâre about to reply, you spot Logan entering the bar. You raise a hand in greeting, waving at him. He meets your gaze and smiles briefly, and so your eyes drift to Wadeâs, shooting him a warning look. âIf you keep this to yourself, I wonât charge you for today,â you mutter through gritted teeth, to which he answers by pretending to zip his mouth closed.
Logan takes a seat next to him, ignoring his presence. Instead, he focuses entirely on you. âHey, kid.â
âHey, homey.â
âHiya, Wade,â Wade greets himself with a mock cheer, patting his own back, which makes you laugh. He turns to Logan and his whole face lights up. âIâm afraid to tell you I canât sleep when youâre not around.â
Logan rolls his eyes. âGet your shit together.â
âYouâre the worst roommate ever! Canât believe you got yourself a girl and completely forgot about your bro,â Wade murmurs under his breath, just as his phone rings. âThank God. Iâve got to go. My love nuggetâs calling,â he announces, heading for the door. Before leaving, Wade blows the two of you a kiss. âI hate you both, but I also love you. Peace out, my friends!â
Logan and you exchange glances. âHeâs a funny guy, isnât he?â
âYou could say that,â he replies, leaning in to kiss you on the lips. Logan intends to deepen the kiss, but you pull away after a couple of seconds. He frowns, clearly confused. âThatâs how you greet me?â
You bite your lip, trying to suppress a giggle. âMy tip jar is practically empty, and I hate to say it, but itâs your fault.â
âDo you want me to say Iâm sorry?â
âOh, no.â
âGood, âcause Iâm not,â he plants a quick kiss on your cheek, making you smile. âYou have classes tomorrow, right?â
âYeah, at 9 am,â you almost grunt, not feeling too enthusiastic about it. âIâm gonna need your help. I canât sleep through my alarm, okay? The professor said tomorrowâs class is an important one. Midterms are right around the corner, and I canât take the liberty of failing them.â
âThat wonât happen,â he assures you, and you believe him. âI can be of help, donât worry. You wonât oversleep.â
Oh, Logan. Sweet, lying Logan.
Turns out you ended up oversleeping. Twenty-five years on this earth, and you still havenât learned not to trust a man, even if his puppy-dog eyes silently beg you to do otherwise. The thing isâyou love them. You love men. And youâre especially fond of the one currently sleeping in your bed.
The first rays of sunshine hit your face, waking you up. You attempt to raise a hand to shield your eyes, but moving any limbs feels like a Herculean task. A warm body is pressed against your back, one veiny arm draped over your stomach. Logan remains fast asleep behind you, his steady breathing succeeding in making you feel at ease. You reach back, running your fingers through his messy hair, and he grumbles in his sleep, instinctively pulling you closer.
What a nice, domestic morning. Yep, youâre getting used to this. And nope, you donât regret it, not even in the slightest bit.
Though there must be a mistake, because youâre preeeeetty sure you had something important to do.Â
Oh. You have classes. Hadâpast tense.
You reach for your nightstand, blindly groping for your phone. The charger is lying on the floor, the plastic of it all damaged. Perhaps Earnest had chewed on it while you were sleeping? You gently pry Loganâs arm off you, sitting up, and your bleary eyes land on something barely peeking out from under the bed.
Itâs your fucking phone. The screen is completely shattered, with three distinct holes in the middle of it. Three holes, how strange! You canât help but wonder who might have left them. Clutching your pillow, you whack Logan in the face with it. âRise and shine, Sleeping Beauty!â
He groans, trying to take the pillow away from you. âWhat the fuck is wrong with you, kid?â
âI wish I had a UNO reverse card because I should be the one asking you that!â you jab your finger into his chest, showing him the ruined phone. âYou broke my fucking phone!â
âWhat?â he asks, voice laden with sleep, still disoriented. He holds the phone, carefully scrutinizing it. âI think I donât know how to hit the snooze button.â
âNo shit, Sherlock. I believe youâve made that very clear,â you huff, tossing the phone aside as you flop back onto the mattress. The clock on your nightstand says 11:05 am, and you cover your face with your hands, taking a deep breath. âNext time, when it goes off, just wake me up and Iâll do it.â
Logan settles beside you, resting his head on his forearm as he watches you. âIâm sorry, bub. Iâll get you a new one.â
âItâs fine,â you murmur, sighing. This is your free ticket to be a menace. âI shouldâve known dinosaurs and phones would never get along. My bad, pal.â
You donât even get to see his reaction because he starts tickling you, the room filling with your laughter. Squealing, you try to wriggle away, but his fingers dig into your ribs, expertly finding your most ticklish spots. Your giggles escalate into breathless laughter, your eyes squeezed shut as you desperately attempt to push him away. Heâs relentless, chuckling when his own laughter bubbles up.Â
âL-logan, stop!â you gasp between fits of laughter, aiming to grasp his hands.
âWe dinosaurs love tickling people. Sorry, sweetheart,â he manhandles you until youâre perched on his lap, fisting the fabric of your (his) shirt. Leaning forward, he captures your mouth in a heated kiss. âIâm sorry about the phone,â he slurs the words against your cheek, his lips trailing down to your neck. You tell him that itâs okay, trying to find a comfortable position on top of him, and thatâs when his thigh presses against your core, your eyes widening at the unexpected sensation. Loganâs no fool, noticing the way your breath hitches. âWhatâs wrong, baby? You woke up needy?â
âNo, I justââ you trail off as he does it again, his strong thigh coming in contact with your clothed cunt. You search for leverage by placing your hands on his shoulders, glancing at him. âLogan.â
âIâm all ears,â he rests his back against the headboard, the tent in his boxers impossible to ignore. âYou want to get off on my thigh,â he states with certainty. Itâs not a questionâitâs a full-on statement. He knows what you want, what you crave. âCome on then. Grind against it.â
You do as he says, not caring to think twice. You start moving, rubbing your wet pussy against his muscular thigh. The friction sends jolts of pleasure through you, and soon, youâre whimpering his name, your hands trailing down his abs. Why hadnât you tried this before? It feels fucking amazing.
From his position, Logan stares at you, his lips slightly parted, eyes clouded with lust. Your arousal drenches your panties, soaking through them, the fabric clinging to his coarse leg hair. He glances down at the mess youâre making, his grin widening as he takes in the sight. âGoddamn, woman. Iâm gonna make you clean it off, I swear to God.â
âNeed your help,â you whisper, lowering your head, the heat in your cheeks intensifying. The coil tightening inside you is almost unbearable. A kiss is what you lean in for, desperate for more, though Logan appears to have other plans. He fists your hair, pulling at your nape and yanking your head back. The roughness of the movement pulls a moan from your lips, your mouth parched like a desert.Â
âEyes up here, okay? You look at me when I make you come,â his raspy voice makes you feel tingly, each word sending shivers down your spine. His hands fiercely grab the flesh of your hips, guiding you, helping you grind harder against his thigh. You think youâre on the verge of drooling when you catch the way his abdomen flexes, working to push you toward that long-awaited release. âThatâs it, there you go,â he rasps, relishing the sounds heâs eliciting from you, each of your gasps feeding his desire.
Time slows as the warmth in your belly finally erupts, your eyes fighting to stay open through the aftershocks of your orgasm. No actual words leave your mouth, just a string of whines and moans, some carrying Loganâs name. He swallows every single sound you make, everything you give him, grunting as your legs tremble and shake atop him.
He lets you collapse onto your back, your breathing gradually evening out. âI think I saw fireworks behind my lids,â you confess, your mouth dry, expecting Logan to flop onto the mattress beside you. But he doesnât. Through your blurry vision, you contemplate as he positions himself between your parted legs, getting dangerously close to your cunt. âLogan, what are youâ Oh, fuck,â you moan mid-sentence when you feel him pulling your panties aside to lick a slow strip through your folds, collecting your arousal. He points his tongue, dipping it into your entrance, and you wince, squirming. âSanta Claus, is that you?â
Logan grins against you, closing his mouth around clit for a moment. He then shifts until heâs eye-to-eye with you, two of his fingers sliding into you in one smooth motion. âGive me another one,â he murmurs, his other hand slipping under your shirt to play with your nipples, pinching them.Â
You never imagined two fingers could bring such intense pleasure. You just lie there, taking it like a good girl, as Logan sometimes call you. âPlease, I need you,â you cry out, your fingernails scraping against his torso.
âI know, darlinâ. Iâm right here,â he rasps against your temple, moving his fingers in and out of you with more enthusiasm. But what he doesnât understand is that you need all of him. Your hands itch to touch him, to feel the weight of his cock. The corners of his mouth turn up as he watches you struggle to find words. âWish you could see yourself like this. Such a pretty girl, so gorgeous like this,â his fingers keep grazing that bundle of joy deep inside you, and he goes in for a kiss, the sour taste of your slick invading your taste buds. âTightest pussy Iâve ever had. Need to stretch you real good before fucking you with my cock.â
Bingo! That last sentence does it for you, and you come for the second time in the morning, your cunt clenching and spasming around his fingers. You hide your face in his neck, mouthing at his Adamâs apple. He hasnât trimmed his beard in days, and it shows because you can now feel a burning sensation on the soft skin of your inner thighs.
âYouâre allowed to break all my phones from now on,â you suggest, only to hear Loganâs laughter in your ear. He snakes a hand through your hair, shoving it back away from your face. You feel him kiss your sweaty forehead, and as you press yourself closer to his body, something hard nudges your hipbone.
Absentmindedly, you trace the waistband of his boxers with your index finger, your eyes snapping to his face. Logan freezes on the spot, and itâs almost as if heâs stopped breathing. Without a word, he rises from the bed, his movements sudden and almost mechanical. You watch him, puzzled, as he heads toward the bathroom, the intimacy of just moments ago being abruptly replaced by a dreadful silence.
âLogan, is everything okay? Do you need something?â you ask and he pauses at the bathroom door, his back to you. For a brief second, you think he might actually open up, but when he turns around, his expression is neutral, masking whatever thoughts are running through his mind. At last, he flashes you a quick smile.
âIâm fine,â he says, his tone gentle but distant. âJust gonna take a shower. Then we can have breakfast together, right?â
You nod, his words easing the growing sense of frustration gnawing at you. He disappears into the bathroom, and the sound of running water soon follows. You sink back into the bed, staring up at the ceiling. You take your pillow and bury your face in it, letting out a muffled groan. Thereâs something he isn't telling you, something hidden deep beneath his usual gruff exterior. Although you try to piece together the fragments of his behavior, they donât quite fit.
The minutes drag on, and the sound of the shower becomes a distant, constant background noise. You close your eyes, visualizing your happy place, but your thoughts keep spiraling. All you can do is waitâwait for him to come back and act as if nothing had happened.
Loganâs right there, just a few feet awayâyet in moments like these, he feels miles apart. Itâs one of those days in which, no matter how hard you try, you canât seem to bridge that distance.Â
It had all started with you asking Logan âHave you ever watched (500) Days of Summer?â
Of course, he had refused to watch the movie at first, and of course, you had threatened him with phoning Wade to let him know that Logan wanted to have a sleepover. That had done the trick.
You had asked for a day off at the bar, and surprisingly, your boss hadnât objected. That turn of events led to this moment: sprawled out on the couch with Logan, the two of you watching the final minutes of your favorite film. Logan takes a long drag of his cigar, eyes trained intently on the screen. Heâs only wearing sweatpants, which had caused your attention to drift from the plot a few times. The fact that you managed to sit through the entire movie without needing to pause it makes you feel particularly invincible.
Hey.
You again.
Yeah. I, uh, was just wondering if maybe after this, if, um, youâ you want to get some coffee or something.
Oh, Iâm sorry. Iâm sort of supposed to meet someone after this.
Okay.
âThat poor fella,â Logan murmurs, taking a slow sip of his beer. You look up at him from where your head rests on his lap, a contented smile playing on your lips. His fingers absently stroke your hair.
âJust wait,â you say, pointing to the screen of your laptop.
Sure.
Whatâs that?
Why not?
Okay. Well, then Iâll just, uhâ Iâll wait for you.
Weâ weâll figure it out.
Weâll figure it out.
âTheyâll figure it out!â you exclaim, but Logan quickly shushes you, his attention unwavering.
My nameâs Tom.
Nice to meet you. Iâm Autumn.
When the movie comes to an end, youâre met with Joseph Gordon-Levitt breaking the fourth wall, staring straight at the audience as if he knows heâs about to get himself into a mess with another girl named after a season. You sit up, your eyes eagerly searching for Loganâs. âSo? Did you like it? Iâve watched it seven times now. Canât understand how it gets better each time.â
Logan closes his mouth around his cigar, inhaling deeply before answering. âYeah, it was pretty good,â he says, his hand finding your cheek, thumb brushing softly against your skin. âSummerâs a bitch, though.â
âI respectfully disagree,â you tell him, grabbing his beer and giving it a try, only to grimace at the taste. Shuddering, you set it back down. âWhy donât you like her character?â
âWell, for starters, she did Tom dirty. Played with him like he was a damn rag doll.â
You raise an eyebrow, hugging a cushion closer to your chest as you lean back into the couch. âHe knew from the beginning she didnât want to be his girlfriend. Summer was clearâTom just though he was smart enough to change her mind.â
âThey acted like boyfriend and girlfriend the whole movie,â he scorns, placing his cigar down into the ashtray with a bit more force than necessary.
Is your first argument going to be over a movie? Exciting.
âLogan, they werenât even official.â
âBut she made it seem like they were,â he insists, the frustration in his voice growing.
âThey were in a situationshipâthe perfect example, really. Thatâs not the same as being a couple.â
His gaze dips to the floor, brows knitted in a deep frown. âI think youâre relying on the technicality that they never used those titles. I mean, they did everything together. Isnât that what normal couples do?â
Lord have mercy.
âLogan, who am I to you?â you inquire, crossing your arms over your chest.
He hesitates, narrowing his eyes, the question clearly catching him off guard. âYou areâwhat? I donât understand. Is this some kind of mind game youâre playing?â
âItâs actually very simple: if someone were to ask you about me, what would you say? Am I a friend? A bartender?â you inch forward, holding your breath, your tone faltering slightly. Meanwhile, Loganâs hands tighten into fists at his sides. âA fling? Your girlfriend? You complain so much about Summer, yet you canât even name what we have.â
The living room falls into a heavy silence. Logan blinks slowly, his forehead creasing as he processes your words. âWhy are you doing this to me?â
âBecause these are the kinds of conversations we need to have. I understand you donât want to have them, but I do.â
âFine. Then tell me what it is that you want,â he asks, his mouth snapping shut when he sees you snorting in response.
âI donâtâ I donât know! To know how you feel, if possible?â you stand up from the couch, taking the cushion with you. You grind your jaw, gnawing on your bottom lip. âWhy is it that every time I try to touch you, you push me away?â
He scrunches up his face, mirroring your movements and rising from his seat. âBub, can we please talk about this tomorrowââ
âNo! You donât get to make all the choices, thatâs not fair. Deciphering you isnât easy, Logan. Iâm not asking you to tell me everything youâve been through. I just wish I could know how you feel about me. I canât stand in front of you and pretend I donât mind where this is going, because Iâm more than sure Iâm falling in love with you. â
âYou canât. You shouldnât,â he says, his expression hardening. He turns his back to you, running his hands over his face in frustration before heading to the kitchen.
âWell, what were you expecting?â you follow him into the kitchen, finding Earnest on top of the fridge, beholding the scene with a curious gaze. âYou basically moved in here, gave me a free trial of what life with you might be like, and now you have the audacity to appear surprised when I tell you Iâve caught feelings?â salty tears start rolling down your cheeks, and you spread your arms wide in exasperation. âOh, but youâre right. How could Iâve been this stupid, to fall for the damned Wolverine!â you laugh bitterly, expecting him to break eye contact, but he doesnât. âYou think youâre so bad, so broken. Guess what: youâre not, because I love you, and I couldnât care less about your past. You may think youâre unlovable, but youâre not, you hear me?â
For a heartbeat, the world seems to pause. And so he says:
âYou are the most exasperating person I know.â
âWow. Thank you so much!â you retort, your voice dripping with sarcasm. You run a hand through your hair, infuriated. âThat makes me feel better!â
âLet me do the talking now,â he says, taking long strides toward you, and the proximity makes you lower your head. âYouâre not getting the final say today. Just because Iâm not over-sharing my feelings all the time doesnât mean I donât have them! In fact, I do. I may not express them openly, but they exist. And I wish you could see inside my head! Youâd be delighted at how much time I spend thinking about you,â you cackle at his words, rolling your eyes. His fingers grip your chin, forcing you to meet his gaze. âThere hasnât been a single moment since the day we met that I have stopped wanting you. Your voice is like a goddamn radio that, no matter what I do, I canât turn off. Itâs like Iâm infected by you, and I hate it!â his eyes burn with a mix of anger and affectionpur, his pursed lips softening as he continues. âNo good ever comes from caring this much about someone. So excuse me for being scared of ruining the only good thing thatâs happened to me in years!â
You hit him with the cushionânot with enough force to make him hurt, but enough to make a point.
âDrop it, kid.â
âIâmââ you hit him again, ânotââ and again, âstupid. I know what Iâm getting myself into,â as you attempt to raise the cushion once more, Logan takes it from your hands, throwing it on the counter. Your shoulders sag, trying to find the strength to keep going. âAnd I know for a fact,â you add, glancing at his conflicted eyes, âthat the easiest thing for me would be to walk away from you, but I canât. Itâs too fucking late.â
âYou donât know what youâre saying.â
âI do! These are my feelings, okay? Mine, not yours. You donât have the right to decide who I love and who I donât.â
Loganâs eyes squint, scanning your face. âYouâre⊠obnoxious.â
âYeah, tell me something I donât know.â
âAnd IâI love you,â he confesses, his nostrils flaring with emotion. Opening your mouth to say something, you close it moments later, your gaze locked on his. âYou could take what you said, pretend as if I didnât exist, and I wouldnât say a thing, yâunderstand? I would move cities if you asked me, because I love you that fucking much, and I want you to be happy.â
You reach for his hand, briefly intertwining your fingers with his. Looking at him through your eyelashes, you rub your fingers over his stubble. âAnd what if my happiness comes from being with you?â
Logan lets out a harsh breath, his arm curling around your waist, pressing his chest to yours. âI canât promise Iâll be the perfect boyfriend. Iâll probably makeplenty of mistakes.â
âFine with me.â
âAnd youâll be mad at me. A lot.â
âDonât worry about that. Iâll make sure itâs mutual.â
Both of you laugh then, and youâre taken aback when he brushes his nose against your cheek, silently seeking permission to kiss you. His lips move hungrily against yours, trailing his hands down your spine, pulling you closer. He breaks the kiss and laughs at your eagerness when you chase after his mouth. You end up perched on his lap as he settles into one of your kitchen chairs. Logan stares into your eyes, his gaze drifting lower. âI wonât push you away this time. Not anymore.â
Thatâs your cue to finally do what youâve been yearning for weeks. You fall to your knees in front of him, shaky fingers that graze the hairs on his happy trail. The bulge in his sweatpants is close to your face, and your mouth waters at the thought of having him between your lips. âCan I?â you ask, your voice a touch higher.Â
He draws a long breath, tilting his head slightly. âYou may, baby.â
You pull at his sweatpants and boxers, sliding them down his legs just enough to free his hard cock. As you take a look at it, you find yourself at a loss for words, the sight overwhelming. Nothing couldâve prepared you for the first taste of his precum as you envelop his head between your lips, that musky scent of his hitting you.
A whimper escapes you, and Logan hisses when you run your tongue along the slit, his hands gripping the back of your neck tightly. âFuck, darlinâ. Thought about your mouth so many times, but never imagined itâd feel this good,â he cants his hips up, causing your movements to stutter. âYou can take a bit more, canât you?â his question ends with a guttural grunt, his fingers tightening on your hair. âGotta show me how much you want this.â
Logan takes all that you give him. You lower your head further, taking in another inch of him. Sexâs supposed to feel good, but this? It feels even greater. And heâs not even inside you yet, you hear a voice murmur in your head. The hand on your nape encourages you to move faster, and you sneak a hand between your bodies, grasping him by the base. You swallow around him, eyes fluttering open when he tugs sharply at your hair..
âThaaaatâs it, honey. Just like that, want you to choke on it,â he grumbles, running his mouth just the way you like. The tip of his cock nudges the back of your throat and tears fill your eyes. You pull away to catch your breath, still stroking him as you regain composure. Loganâs gaze is intense, and he stares into your soul, his chest heaving. âWhatâs wrong, sweetheart? Dick got your tongue?â
Youâll definitely get back to that joke later.
âWill youâcan youââ
âCome on, beautiful. I donât have all day.â
God, you love it when heâs mean.
âFuck my throat,â you plead, your voice barely above a whisper.
A smile dangles on the corner of his lips. âWe both know you can be nicer.â
The fucker makes your pulse race. âCan you fuck my throat?â you ask again, more insistently. âPlease.â
He guides himself into your mouth, smirking as he watches how your eyes roll back in pleasure. âHow polite of you to say please. Some good manners youâve got.â
You whimper around him, your body responding to the rhythm he sets, fully immersed in the intensity of the moment. And for a while, you drift away, losing your sanity with each thrust of his hips, every tug at your hair. Itâs almost impossible not to compare him to your past hookups. You try to recall at least a single instance when another man made you feel this way, but no memory surfaces.
Time seems to stretch and warp. You donât really know when it happensâhe pulls you off his cock, cradling your face, examining you. âYou fucking love that, donât you?â he asks with that sweet, syrupy voice, brushing away your tears. Thereâs no room left for embarrassment, so you nod, closing your mouth around his thumb. Defeated, Logan shakes his head, pressing his finger against your tongue. âI was planning on coming on your mouth, but I think Iâve got a better idea.â
In the blink of an eye, youâre in your bedroom. Not even a metaphorâhe picks you up and basically runs to your room, closing the door behind him. You prop yourself on your forearms, trying to process whatâs about to happen. Logan, already naked, climbs onto the bed after you, He kisses you slowly, tracing the curves of your body. âYou still want this?â
âI do. Iâm just⊠nervous, thatâs all,â you admit, flashing him a quick smile. âItâs been two years of celibacy for me. Will it fit?â you ask, glancing down at his cock, and Logan stares at you in confusion. âAlso, how many girlfriends have you had? Just curious.â
âI donât think this is the time for that conversation.â
âYouâre right,â you agree, lying back on the mattress, bracing yourself for whatâs to come. âWere they pretty?â
âBub.â
âYes?â
âShut up,â he replies with a smirk. âFocus on me, okay?â
Despite your tries to crack jokes at the worst possible moment, things escalate pretty quickly. Loganâs got three fingers inside you, pumping them in and out. Heâs already made you come once with his mouthâto get you more relaxed, he had said. Wanting sounds slip past your lips as he doesnât miss the chance to hit that spot that makes you squeeze your legs together. The tip of his nose drags long lines up and down the skin of your neck, mouthing at your jaw.
âIâm ready,â you mumble after some minutes, reaching for his cock and stroking him. âLetâs break the bed.â
âYouâre lucky youâre this cute,â he says, catching your lips in a kiss. âCondom?â
âNegative, Sergeant.â
âYou donât have any?â
You shake your head, biting the inside of your cheek. âI donât want you to use one.â
The way his gaze darkens doesnât go unnoticed by you. His hand guides your face toward his cock. âGet me wet,â he commands, and you oblige, sucking him into your mouth. You hum around him, unable to contain yourself, and you hear Logan chuckling above you. âCanât believe this is what it takes for you to shut up. Gotta keep your mouth full all the time.â
Once heâs satisfied with the way youâve slicked him, he positions himself over you, caging you between his arms. Logan pins you down with his body, his hot breath mingling with yours. When you stare into his eyes, all you see is pure love, and your heart swells with affection. âWill you fuck the bad jokes out of me?â
Logan laughs, rubbing his length along your folds, grazing your clit for a fleeting second. âI sure as hell will,â he assures you, lining himself up with your wet entrance. He looks into your eyes for approval. âReady?â
âI was born reaâ Fuck!â you nearly scream as his head breaches you, your eyes squeezing shut. Turns out his fingers werenât enough. âFucking mutant dick.â
âYouâll love it, believe me,â he husks next to your ear. His arms shake where they rest on each side of your head, seemingly as affected as you are. Logan pulls out, and then fucks into you with a little more force. âHow are you still so tight? Youâre killinâ me here.â
âIâve got no idea, but you feelâamazing,â you gasp, latching onto his back, holding him close to you. His thrusts gain strength, and suddenly heâs bottoming inside you. âOh, god. I can feel you in my stomach.â
âI know, baby, I know. Can feel it too,â he curls one of his hands around your throat, keeping you in place. From his position, he can watch the way your face contorts in pleasure. Lowering his head to envelop one of your nipples between his lips, he sucks hard. âYou were desperate enough to get on your knees in the damn kitchen. Youâll be good now too, am I right?â
âYes. Yes. I can be good,â you pant, eyes wide and pleading. âAnything you want. Just donât stop.â
âIâm not stoppinâ, princess. Donât worry,â his mouth curves into a wicked grin as he drives into you again, this time even deeper. His hand on your throat tightens slightly, just enough to make you feel the pressure, grounding you in the moment. âThatâs my girl,â he murmurs against your chest, his voice laden with need.Â
Each thrust has you gasping, your body arching off the bed to meet his. Loganâs grip on your neck loosens as his hand slides down to grasp your hip. He squeezes your tender flesh, pulling you harder against him, as if he canât get close enough. The bed creaks under the intensity, but you barely notice, too far lost in the rhythm of his movements.
âYouâre perfect, all Iâve ever wanted,â he slips his free hand between your bodies to find your clit, and the moment his fingers make contact with it, you canât help but whine. âSo fuckinâ perfect,â you hear him repeat, more to himself than to you, his voice stranded as he tries to hold himself back, letting you chase your own release first.
The pressure inside you builds up, tightening with every skilled flick of his fingers. Youâre sure you must look like a mess, sweaty and sticky, though the way he looks at you makes you forget everything else. âLogan, Iâmââ you croak, the wind being knocked out of your lungs with each relentless thrust. âI think Iâm gonna come.â
He picks up speed, snapping his hips faster. âIâve got you, let go for me. Iâll take care of you, baby, I swear,â his pace becomes erratic, digging his fingers into the softness of your thighs as the headboard keeps slamming against the wall. Your body obeys him, a shuddering release tearing through you, moaning Loganâs name and gripping him like a vice. âThatâs it, fuck, thatâs it,â he doesnât stop, driving you through your orgasm. His eyes snap to your face, contemplating how wrecked you look. âTell me whereâplease, sweetheart.â
âInside.â
âWhat?â
âI said inside. Come inside me, Logan.â
Heâs not strong enough to deny you such a thing. Logan buries himself to the hilt, groaning your name as his cock twitches and paints your walls with his thick seed. Beside your head, his claws unsheate, tearing into the pillow. He ruts against you, his body trembling and writhing against yours, already apologizing for the pillow incident while pressing his forehead to your shoulder. âSorry, Iâm sorry. That hasnât happened in a while.â
When Logan collapses beside you, he pulls you into his arms, kissing you eagerly. You return the kiss, wincing as you feel a bit of his cum slip out of you, rolling down your thighs. He stares at your glistening cunt without an ounce of remorse, and you close your legs. âThatâs private.â
âIt wasnât very private a minute ago.â
âLogan?â
âTell me, bub.â
âKnock, knock.â
He must truly love you, because he plays along: âWhoâs there?â
âIce cream.â
âIce cream who?â
âIce cream for you all night long.â
âGuess I didnât succeed in fuckinâ the bad jokes out of you,â he teases softly, letting his head fall back on the bed. âBut itâs fine. Iâll just have to keep tryinâ.â
This is the story of how you end up dating a man whoâs two hundred years old. But itâs also the story of how that same man learns to let his guard down and open his heart. So, remember this, kids: the skyâs the limit, especially when it comes to loveâand yes, even when it involves dating mutants.
dividers by: @/cafekitsune thank you!!! :)
#logan howlett#logan howlett x reader#logan howlett x you#wolverine x reader#wolverine#deadpool and wolverine#wolverine x you#logan howlett x fem!reader#logan howlett fic#logan howlett smut#logan howlett fanfiction#wolverine fic#wolverine fanfiction#wolverine smut#the wolverine#wolverine x men#x men movies#x men#smut#fluff#fan fiction#fic: give me the first taste#logan x reader#logan xmen#logan x you#james logan howlett#james howlett#x men wolverine#logan wolverine
4K notes
·
View notes
Text
LOVER'S QUARREL
- fushiguro megumi x reader
âi can't do this anymore.â you and megumi are just too different; he's stoic, you're bubbly, he prefers solitude, you love being social. it starts with fights, words you don't mean, and ends with an event that would haunt him for a long time to come.
genre/warnings: angst, breaking up, post-breakup feelings, mentions and description of injury and blood, hurt/comfort, fluff in the end (you make up!)
note: dear god iâm finally getting this out of my drafts. loosely inspired by real life events iâve seen around my friendâs relationship sooo it might hurt a bit đ€đ» but who can say no to angst to eventual fluff? tagging @lees-chaotic-brain and @kasumitenbaz (as per request in the ask!), you two are always here for my megumi works, thank you!! :3 and thank you for dropping by for the event!
a part of 1K MILESTONE EVENT
general masterlist
Everyone pointed it out as a joke, that you liked him way more than he did you.
And you used to never let it ruffle you. To you, Megumiâs sternness and silence meant that he was comfortable with you. You never wanted him to change his ways just because now you were seeing each other.
But when you thought it over now, as you stood before him with an aghast expression and knives stabbing your kind, soft heart, you couldnât help but do a double-take.
You were the one who confessed first. Most of the time, you were the one who initiated dates. You always texted him first, asking about his day, and even when he brushed you off, you would keep being this ball of sunshine and wished him a good day.
You never realized it before⊠that through everything, it has always been you. Unfailingly.
So how dare he spout this now?
âI can't do this anymore.â
"You... can't?" you spat out, feeling the first tendrils of anger course through you. "What exactly it is that you can't do? What do you even mean?"
"Look," Megumi stared at you squarely, and you thought now, that it was the coldest of eyes, straight and true. "It's always been like this between us lately. It's only right that we end this."
This, he said. He didn't even want to define your relationship anymore.
You scoffed. "And why do you think we always end up this way? Have you ever considered, even once, that it's because you make no effort at all?"
"I'm trying," Megumi quickly replied, almost in a hiss, and you almost recoiled. "But I just see that we'll end up nowhere, that's why I'm bringing this up now."
Oh, that freaking hurts. You boyfriend had just told you that this relationship would go nowhere. Right in your face.
Your eyes stung with tears, yet you fought to hold them back, fixing your gaze on the lamp overhead and inhaling deeply.
"You're... selfish," you stated, filled with ire. "You're always walking around eggshells around me, never telling me what is it that you really wantâ"
Megumi's unclouded eyes fixed on your trembling form. "We just disagree on a lot of things. You know it and it bothers you. It bothers me too. Rather than forcing our relationship, I think it's betterâ"
"It's always me!" you yelled then, lips quivering and eyes watering, unable to hold your emotions back any longer. "All dates, lunchesâeverything!" you locked your eyes with him, in mocking disbelief. "How can you say you're trying when, in truth, I'm the one putting in so much for us?!"
In that very second, Megumi thought that he hated seeing you like this. You were supposed to be the cheerful one in this relationship, and when he agreed to go out with you, he made an unspoken commitment to himself that he would at least not make you miserable.
And yet...
"...I'm sorry."
Came his reply, and you were sure that this was it.
And to rub the salt in your wound, he added, "I can't lie to you and say I haven't thought this for a while too."
As tears welled within you, you wondered and questioned what you lacked that led to this. However, the overwhelming sense of betrayal consuming your thoughts ultimately prevailed over any other emotions.
Now he could've appeared before you as a stranger and you wouldn't bat an eye, as the cold steel in his tone said, "And if blaming me is what it takes to make you feel better, then so be it."
You couldn't pinpoint the source of your sudden boldness, but in the next hot minute, you marched past him, your shoulder harshly colliding with his in a deliberate, almost spiteful mannerâwhich, indeed, was your intentionâand then you ran.
Which led to the next scene: you found yourself bawling your eyes out in the girls' lavatory.
Yuji and Nobara saw everything unfolding right before their eyes. They hadn't meant to eavesdrop, but you and Megumi were literally breaking up right the middle of their shared classroom, and it was hard not to follow the discourse until the end.
"Are you okay?" Nobara had come to your side, ensuring privacy by locking the restroom door out of your consideration. You were a sobbing mess, attempting to wipe the overflowing tears away while letting out all your emotions.
"He's..." Your voice faltered amid sobs as you gazed at your steadfast friend, your throat clogging up. "He said... he's been wanting t-to... break up with m-me..."
"That's okay, that's okay..." Nobara brought you to her arms, patting your back in reassurance. "Fushiguro is insensitive like that... don't cry over him now. He's just a wimp, okay?"
"Why is it me?" you asked her, voice brittle, still shaking with tears. "I t-tried everything! Being the supportive girlfriend..."
"If he can't appreciate what you did, then the problem lies with him," your friend stated, traces of irritation brewing in her resolute gaze. And as she firmly grasped your wrist, her next words resonated. "Not you."
. . .
"Do you really have to break her heart like that?" Yuji fidgeted with his hoodie, staring at his best friend with a blend of confusion and sympathy.
Megumi sighed, finally ruffling his hair into a mess, as if expressing his own state of mind. âThis is for the best.â
Yujiâs eyebrows visibly creased. âHow is this âfor the bestâ? Sheâs miserable, and youâŠâ he assessed him, scanning him from head to toe, âit doesnât seem youâre faring any better too.â
âThe longer she is with me, the unhappier she will be.â Megumi glanced at the bathroomâs direction. âShe can deserve better.â
He was always too quiet, too boring, not able to match your energy too. He couldnât fault you for expecting more, whereas he was just not exactly built for your expectations.
Megumi really thought he wanted it to end. At one point, it even felt like a chore, butâŠ
How strange. Why did it feel like something was clawing at his chest?
Time heals. Megumi knew that by theory, but he really did see it firsthand when he saw you all giggling and happy again three weeks after he initiated the breakup.
With Hakari.
âYo, what are you glaring at?â Panda asked, but Megumi didnât pay him any mind.
An upperclassman, Hakari Kinji, was naturally cool and talented. He was laid back, knew how to have funâall in all, a total opposite of Fushiguro Megumi altogether.
Three weeks. Itâs only been three weeks since then.
âMegumi?â
Wait⊠Arenât three weeks too fast to get over your ex?
âMegumi!â
âHuh?â he turned to the sentient panda with a jerk. âOh, what is it?â
He looked at him with a concerned gaze. "Why do you look so scary? It's almost as if you're about to punch someone..."
But who was he to argue? He had no right to be upset now.
"Is it Kinji?" Panda gasped, finally putting two and two together when he followed his line of sight. "Oh Megumi... but youâ"
"Just shut up, please," he blurted then, a hint of annoyance in his tone. With that, Panda didn't pursue it further, leaving him with his thoughts.
From where he was at the field, he could clearly see your radiant smile for Hakari. It was clear that the two of you shared a degree of friendship, but Megumi never knew that you two were that close.
...huh?
Why did the sight irritate him so suddenly? Why did his chest twinge again?
What a fool. You're the one driving her away, you idiot.
Suddenly these memories popped up one by oneâ
Of you suddenly hugging him from behind in an attempt to surprise him.
How he pressed his lips on the crown of your head when you fall asleep on his shoulder.
How you would give him that dopey smile when he pulled you close.
But on harder days after missions gone wrong, heâd ignore you altogetherâ the slight disappointment in your smile then. How your expression fell when he told you to go. How you slumped and looked back in hopes of him changing his mind.
âHaaaah.â Megumi turned away, unwilling to keep watching you any longer. Why? Why hadnât it occurred to him before now?
Why did he long for you now? Why not before, when you were still his?
They were right. It seems people tend to desire what isn't meant for them.
What could have been more painfully awkward than being sent into a mission with your ex-boyfriend?
You would kill Gojo for this. Or at least give him the lowest possible score in his teaching evaluation for the year. How could he? Your breakup was an infamous public spectacle, so this setup was undoubtedly intentional!
You were losing your head over this, and yet your ex-boyfriend...
"Keep your guard up," Megumi reminded curtly, in a warning tone. He looked as vigilant and straight as always, as if he wasn't even bothered.
You threw him a dirty look, offended. "You don't have to tell me twice."
This just cranked up the discomfort to an excruciating level. The mix of unresolved tension and memoriesâokay, you might be an emo, but how were you supposed to be cool with all of these hanging in the air?
Your site of exorcism was an abandoned warehouse, and the cursed spirit in question was supposed to be a grade 3. You two were grade 2 sorcerers now, so you were a perfect fit to exorcise it. But there was indeed this unease in the air that you couldn't put your finger to.
"Isn't it awfully too quiet?" you unwittingly muttered, staring at the darkness of the wall. You couldn't feel any cursed energy belonging to any possible malevolent entity, and that was what unsettled you the most.
Megumi frowned at your line of sight. "It is. Stay close."
You blinked at what he said, and before you knew it, the familiar scent of him being near to you made your entire body burst with this equally familiar warmth. When you looked up to him, seeing the solid sharpness in that dark eyes of his and his jaw set, dead butterflies in your chest rose back to life again, against your heartbreak and better judgement.
Stay close, he said... So he is worried...
And in an attempt to hide how flustered you were, you looked down.
You walked a few good steps, when suddenly he asked, "So, are you with Hakari-senpai now?"
"Huh?" You spun around, your expression a mix of surprise and confusion.
"You two seem close."
Seem close? Seem close... wait, so Megumi had noticed...?
Suddenly, you felt incited and it made you angry. "That's none of your business," your voice carried a sharp edge, hissing. And you knew you were being a bit mean by adding, "You broke up with me, so why do you even care?"
In that moment, Megumi could've sworn his chest throbbed. Your cutting tone pierced directly into his heart, lodging itself there.
You had all rights to be annoyed, and he knew that. Why did that question even slip out of him?
"Nah, nevermind," he mumbled in response, looking away.
Awkwardness lingered afterwards. You hated this, but no, you weren't above being petty. He had broken your heart and it still stung even now. If your intentionally biting words did to him even a fraction of what he made you feel, then you would find a small sense of satisfaction in it.
But you weren't able to ponder about your mess of feelings further when Megumi abruptly yanked your arm, his voice soaking with urgency, "It's here!"
Sure enough, the grotesque cursed spirit with the shape of a giant bee broke through the walls with a bang. The two of you immediately readied your fighting stance. Megumi was ready with his divine dogs, while you with your cursed weapon.
For a while, you engaged the cursed spirit with all you had. You were trying to focus on the enemy, but you couldn't help but notice the way Megumi always looked at you every few seconds, checking for any signs of injury or harm.
Frankly speaking, he trusted your strength and knew that you were a capable sorcerer. You had been paired in a mission before and he knew both your potential and shortcomings. It was just there was something about this place that had his senses on high alert.
And his fears were proven true when you yelped and were flung onto the grimy floor. "Y/N!"
"I'm fine!" you shouted in a rush, scrambling to your feet. However, as you spun towards him, your scream tore through the hall as you caught sight of the bee lurking behind him. "Megumi!"
He got distracted. The bee quickly latched onto him and almost stung him, until he wrestled it off and summoned Nue and exorcised it.
You went to his side that instant. "Are you okay?!"
"I am." But then he winced and almost fell on his knees if you didn't have a secure grip on him. He savored your touch and breathed a sigh of relief, thinking that now you two were safe.
"Megumi! Oh god!" Panic surged through you as you pulled him close. His side was bleeding, and you widened your eyes at the sight.
"I'm okay, I promise," he rasped, looking you in the eyes. "What aboâ"
Then you saw it, the flicker from deep from that corner of platform, and suddenly, you grasped the source of the unease that had been lingering within you all this time. It wasn't the bee Megumi had just exorcisedâ
At that moment, there was no room for thought, one thing was certain: you didn't want him to get hurt more.
He didn't manage to finish his sentence when suddenly you pushed him away with so much force he never thought you had. Everything crashed so suddenly, he didn't have the time to brace himself or grab you with him, as another cursed bee appeared out of nowhere andâ
Reality flashed before his eyes as he stared at you in sheer horror. At how the cursed spirit tore your body, sinking its hollow stinger in you.
You didn't really know what happened next. Everything was muffledâthe frantic movements around you turned into a blur, along with Megumi's yells. Otherworldly pain coursed through your entire being and your ears rang, then everything in your line of sight became distorted and faded, along with your consciousness. Next and the last thing you knew was Megumi's battered face, a final imprint before you succumbed to the void.
Megumi had exorcised the remaining cursed spirit and staggered to his feetâfalling a few times, but he made his way towards you through gritted teeth. You are hurt. He forced himself to get to you and pull you into his arms.
And suddenly, suddenly, nothing mattered anymore as overwhelming terror consumed him upon seeing you. Blood streamed from your abdomen so much that it made a continuous pool.
"You stupidâ!" He choked out, voice hitching. You were no longer conscious and it devastated him even more. "Hey, hey? Wake upâhellsâ"
You, who did everything you could to save your relationship. You, who cried tears for him when he blatantly broke your heart. And you, who put himself firstâand now facing the consequences.
It crashed upon him in that very second, the clarity. What was he thinking back then? He still loves you.
"If you die on me, I won't forgive you."
Megumi scooped you in his arms, pressing you close to his chest, the blood seeping from his wound be damned as he looked at your serene face. His heart shattered in the worst way possible and he almost wheezed at the sticky sensation of your bloodâand how lifeless you felt in his graspâbut he willed it away.
"Don't," his broken rasp echoed the walls as he took each step to get both of you out of this hellhole. He winced and hissed at his own injury, chewing his lip in frustration, at how helpless he was.
"Don't leave me."
It was like a distant, hazy memory.
Was it a memory though? No. It seemed far too real for that.
The throbbing headache pounding through your skull and shivers that wracked your body pulled you back to reality. There was a heavy pressure on your abdomen and any movement sent sharp pain shooting through you.
You gradually opened your eyes, squinting against the brightness. You were in a hospital gown, an IV was injected on your arm, and the sterile scent made your stomach twist, as nausea creeping through your guts. Your vision was still blurry as you tried to look around to find someone who waited for you. As you slowly turned your head to the side, you saw him, sitting in the chair right next your bed.
Megumi was sleeping in such uncomfortable position, his head resting on the edge of your bed. He appeared peaceful, almost childlike, devoid of his usual stoic demeanor.
Your heartstrings were tugged at this rare sight. He also sustained injuries and yet... he was waiting for you to wake up, here.
Your chest swelled with warmth, which was quickly followed by a sting of heartbreak. Still, you two broke up...
You jolted, and the inadvertent movement sent a wave of pain that seemed to paralyze your nerves, causing you to whimper. The noise woke Megumi from his slumber, as he shot his eyes open in alarm, catching your hand in his.
"Hey... Are you okay?" Megumi worriedly looked down at you with a visible frown, and the grimace of pain on your face, accompanied by trembling lips, was enough of an answer. He hastily scrambled out in slight panic, "I'll get Ieiri-san."
When Shoko came and got you the painkillers, your pain receded somewhat. Through it all, Megumi stood there, casting concerned glances in your way.
"Bedrest for the week," Shoko stated firmly, assessing your wound with a no-nonsense expression. "Your injury isn't minorâit's serious enough that you're strongly advised against excessive movement."
You could only nod in response. Megumi bowed. "Thank you, Ieiri-san." Once the doctor departed, silence settled over the room once more.
âWhy did you do that?â he quietly asked then, referring to what you did for him. And when you turned to him, you saw it clearly.
He looked pale, and there was this haunted look in his eyes. It broke your heart a little.
"You were hurt." Your voice came out dry, and you realized firsthand just how parched you were. Seeing Megumi looking down never quite sat right with you. He was meant to be an unwavering presence, someone strong enough to sway your convictions.
However, a pang struck when he countered with stern eyes, "You didn't have to do that."
...he was right. You didn't have to. What he didn't know was that you were still holding on these stupid feelings, which drove you to shield him. It made you ponder: if your roles were reversed, would he not step in to protect you at all?
"Why are you here?" You weren't sure if the bitterness in your tone was evident, but you continued anyway. "You don't have to be here either."
"Don't have to?" His gaze bore disbelief, as if not believing your words. "I'mâ"
"If it's because I saved you, Megumiâ"
âDo not even think, even for a moment, that I wonât be concerned over you.â His voice, deep and hoarse, struck you to the core, silencing your words. âNever. I always, always want you to be safe.â
Your mind became a blank slate. Suddenly, all that mattered was his voice.
"Don't you realize how terrifying it was? Seeing you like that?" Megumi spat, his green eyes shining with intensity, teeth gritted and fists clenched. "How could you even think that I wouldn't be hereâ" his breath hitched, and then his lips trembled slightly, "âfor you?"
You blinked quickly, a feeling stirred within youâstemming from that cursed, fragile heart of yours to be exact, evident from the rapid thumping in your chest.
You dumbly uttered, "But we areâ"
"Oh, Goddamnit." Megumi cursed, and honestly you were taken aback. It wasn't really in him to swear, so this really bugged him. He ran a hand through his hair in frustration, and despite the situation, your heart skipped a beat at the sight. Even a mess in a hospital gown, your ex-boyfriend was still undeniably attractive.
He stared at you squarely in the eye, unflinching, steadfast and true, the very image of Fushiguro Megumi you admired from afar and fell in love with in the first place half a year ago. "You don't have to... say anything, if you don't want to. Right now... just hear me out."
And the things he said next... all of them, you could say, caught you entirely off guard.
"I'm sorry. I'm sorry for not trying hard enough, andâdamn it, for making you sad. I never, ever wanted to see you that upset."
Megumi drew in a sharp breath, averting his gaze. "And for days, I've wondered if you and Hakari-senpai are now a thing... and you know what? I hate it so much. I know I have no grounds to feel this way, after what I did, but..."
And like a train wreck, his final words hit you hard. Tears welled up in your eyes in immediate response.
âI'm a loser, and a coward too, maybe,â he shrugged, a tinge of self-deprecation in his tone. âAnd I suck at telling people my feelings, but I love you. I still do.â
A sob slipped out of your throat and you hastily pulled the blanket over your face, much to his surprise. He thought he had worsened things, with the way you were turning away from him.
But then, from beneath the blanket, in a croaky voice, you proclaimed, "Fushiguro Megumi, you're a complete and utter idiot."
And Megumi didn't know that he had been holding back his breath as he chuckled heartily, relieved that you would still take his ass back after this prolonged mess. He knew he still had a lot to make up for and was determined to show it through his actions.
"Maybe I am, yeah."
"That's possibly the longest shit you have ever spouted in one breath."
"Yeah..."
But he got his chance back, and he knew that you would be alright. Both of you are.
On one sunny day...
"Hey, are you alone?"
Megumi glanced up from his phone, only to be met with a random girl standing in front of him, batting her eyelashes with an ambiguous intent. He blinked at her curiously.
"No. Can I help you?"
The girl twirled her hair suggestively. "Ah, you see... I see you all in your lonesome and I think you're quite cuteâ"
The hell? Megumi frowned, and he was really about to give this bimbo a piece of his mind whenâ
Oh, oh. Forget that. Megumi's attention snapped to you on the opposite side of the crossroad. All pretty and dolled up with that crop tee and miniskirt he once mentioned would look great on you by a slip of tongueâthat accidental comment earned him your teasing quips for weeks already.
"Sorry, I'm here for my girlfriend. Bye."
Abruptly dismissing the girl, he didn't catch how comically offended she was for being turned down in a span of 20 seconds. He took big strides towards you, as you crossed the street, and you immediately beamed when you caught the sight of his face.
"Megumi!"
Ah, this is going to be a good day, he thought. As he gazed at your pretty face, and caught your hand in his, clasping it tightly, reveling in your scent and the warmth of your presence beside himâ
He was content, and once again it dawned on him, that he likes you so, so damn much.
"Let's get started on our date, shall we?"
#fushiguro megumi x reader#jjk x reader#megumi fushiguro x reader#jujutsu kaisen#jjk x reader angst#megumi fushiguro x reader fluff#megumi fushiguro x reader angst#jujutsu kaisen x reader#jjk x reader fluff#fushiguro x reader#megumi x reader#jjk fanfic#jjk imagines#fushiguro megumi fluff#fushiguro megumi x y/n#fushiguro megumi angst#jjk#megumi fluff#megumi fushiguro#jjk angst#jjk fluff
9K notes
·
View notes
Text
OMFG THIS COMMENT. GUISE. THAT LAST SENTENCE IS SO FUCKING RAW
edit: i see a lot of people arguing over the 'eat the rich' thing and i'd like to clear up my standing currently! i know they aren't the same kind of fancy multi-million corporation that our beloved phrase talks about, and the reason i agree to a point with this comment is that watcher is evidently trying to become that. they're doing some shitty things in regards do disregarding poorer fans, and are seemingly blatantly ignoring the economic crisis by saying 'everyone can afford that!', all in direct contrast to their entire branding of being leftist and openly supporting things like eat the rich.
"You said 'eat the rich' then handed us the forks, laid on the plate, and expected us to spare you?" at least from my understanding isn't flat-out saying watcher are now the rich we eat, but are well on the track to becoming so, and are quickly developing the same ego.
BUT!! don't like people directly hating on steven like that!! they're all grown men who can make their own decisions, and pretending like shane and ryan are out little baby beans and then calling steven evil and whatnot isn't okay. they can all be held equally accountable. though i do somewhat understand being the most disappointed in shane, as he's the one who speaks on shit like eating the rich the most, and is generally more outward with his ideals, so it's perfectly reasonable to feel betrayed more deeply. but bottom line is they're all equally accountable for this decision.
some shit we can't take back. i probably got pissed and said some weird/uncool shit initially because of the intense emotions i was dealing with, which other people amplified. i do regret some of the things i've said to a point when it comes to being hateful, but i can't just un-say it all, so i'm not even going to try. i'm going to leave everything be and allow it to serve as something to look back on for what not to do in future circumstances. while this new path for watcher is, in my opinion, not the smartest and generally really shitty, they're human beings who make mistakes, and they deserve our acknowledgement of that.
in short, i don't like it but i'll stop being a bitch about it because they don't deserve that. also sorry for the wall of (probably incoherent lmao) text i got passionate <3
edit 2: guys. im screaming. the apology was amazing imo and i genuinely think they really mean it, like it doesn't seem bullshitted. i think they realized they fucked up for reals and feel bad. im so happy for them, but also for us as fans. yay :D
#watcher#watcher entertainment#we are watcher#shane and ryan#ryan bergara#ghoul boys#shane madej#i cant even bring myself to type 'all hail the watcher' as a tag anymore#sighhh
7K notes
·
View notes
Note
Hi idk if u have already written this if u have pls igonore but what about the first time bombshell reader calls Spencer beautiful?
fem, 1k
âGideon has a new prodigy.âÂ
Your head rises of its own accord. âYeah?âÂ
âHe's younger than you. Twenty three, I think Hotch said. Fresh out of college, two degrees and working on a third? Or maybe he was getting his doctorate? I couldn't keep up.â Morgan shakes his head in disapproval. âOvereducated and under-experienced. He failed his physicals. The ones he took, anyways.âÂ
âOoh, ouch. A baby on the team before me,â you joke with a smile. âGenius baby, but a baby.âÂ
Morgan smiles when you smile, he's too nice not to, but he picks up soon enough, crossing his arms where he's stood and wrinkling what was once a finely steamed suit jacket. âI don't know what Gideon's thinking.âÂ
âDoes anyone ever know what he's thinking? What's Hotch say about it all?âÂ
Morgan reads what you're typing from over your shoulder and corrects a mistake. One day you won't need his help, but for now you take as much of it as you can get. You're not too proud to acknowledge when you mess up, you're a realist. Super sensible (in mind if not action).Â
âHotch lets Gideon do what he wants, mostly. What can you do when he's one of the originals?â Morgan leans heavily onto his desk by the forearms and shrugs. Youâre similar in this regard; complain, move on. You're similar in other ways, too. That's why you get along.Â
âWell, I want to meet this guy,â you say. âWe'll be teammates just as soon as Strauss stops hating me. I'm one strategic boxed bouquet from a full pardon.â He laughs and touches your arm like he believes you. âIs he around?âÂ
âHere they are now.âÂ
You spin in Morgan's desk chair slowly. Jason Gideon is stalking through the office with his head in the contents of a manilla envelope, while a new face follows behind him talking a mile a minute.Â
âObviously,â you hear Gideon interrupt as they get close enough. âAgent Morgan can explain that to you. Don't overthink it, Spencer, just try to get through it.âÂ
He doesn't acknowledge you nor Morgan as he leaves Spencer and hurries up the steps leading to his and Hotch's offices. You aren't expecting much else from him. What little Gideon knows about you he doesn't like. If you ever get over the Strauss hurdle, it's him you'd have to convince next. You don't watch him cross the landing, your gaze focused on the man making his timid way toward you. Your lips part briefly, and then quirk into an overjoyed smile.Â
âOh, you're beautiful,â you say without thinking.Â
He frowns at you.Â
âReid,â Morgan interrupts, âThis is Y/N L/N. She works in the sex crimes division. As you can imagine, we get a lot of crossover.â You stand, holding out your hand. âY/N, this is Spencer Reid.âÂ
âI don't shake. Sorry.âÂ
You press your hand to your chest. âOh, that's okay. I shouldn't assumeâŠâ Your voice melds into a silkiness that has his shapely brows furrowing further, âIt's nice to meet you, Spencer Reid. You're really pretty, do you know that?âÂ
Spencer peeks at Morgan quickly, who laughs good-naturedly. âShe's serious, Reid. She's not making fun of you.âÂ
âYou'd know,â Spencer says. It isn't malicious, but it isn't exactly friendly, either.
You twist to frown at Morgan deeply. âMorgan, you're not being nice to him?âÂ
âI'm being plenty nice, sweetheart, but this is how it works. I gotta haze him a little.âÂ
âNo, you don't.â You tip your cheek toward your shoulder to look at Spencer through your lashes. âHe pretends to be worse than he is, I promise. But don't let him neg you, okay? You're smarter than he isââÂ
âHey.âÂ
ââand he's used to being the office pretty boy. It's jealousy, nothing else,â you finish. Spencer really is gorgeous now you're close enough to see his eyes. A brown like caramelised sugar tented by dark, dark eyelashes. When he smiles, the very slightest hint of teeth shows, and it makes him even prettier. You endeavour to make him smile again. âSorry if I'm coming off a little strong. It's not my intention.âÂ
âShe's just nervous. You have everything she wants,â Morgan says.Â
You sigh forlornly. âOh, doesn't he?â Spencer's confused pout is even cuter than his smile. âGetting into the BAU is about as easy as walking on water.âÂ
âFor a human,â Spencer says. âEasier if you're smaller. Like a water strider.âÂ
There's a silence. Morgan is aghast, you think. You're in love.Â
âYeah?â you ask, stars in your eyes as his own spark to life.Â
âBecause water strider's can transfer their weight, but also due to their hydrofuge hairpiles. Their microhairs.â He catches himself, measuring your expression carefully. âDid you really wanna know?âÂ
âDo you wanna get a cup of coffee and tell me about it?â you ask.Â
His lips part as yours had when you first saw him.Â
He's prevented from answering as Hotch's office door opens and the man himself walks out near the railing. âGood, youâre here. I have something to talk to you about.âÂ
You grin at him. âI'd love to chat, Agent Hotchner, but I'm getting to know your new protĂ©gĂ©.â
âI see.â He waits.Â
You would ignore him âHotch has a soft spot for you (or rather, he likes you enough to put up with you, which is more than can be said about other members of his division) and he'd shrug off your dismissalâ but you're really keen to hear what he has to say. Perhaps Strauss has changed her mind about your proposed trail basis with the team.Â
âI'm so sorry,â you say to Spencer, immediately re-dazzled by his pretty, lovely face. âIt was really nice to meet you, Spencer Reid. Maybe next time you can tell me more about it.âÂ
You give Morgan a quick thank you for the help with your paperwork and trust him to log out of your emails. In your rush up the stairs, you hear a wisp of conversation.Â
âWas she messing with me?âÂ
Morgan laughs. âNo, kid. That's how she is.âÂ
"Oh... She's nice."
"You have no idea."
#spencer reid#spencer reid x reader#spencer reid x you#spencer reid x y/n#spencer reid x fem!reader#spencer reid imagine#spencer reid fluff#spencer reid fanfic#spencer reid oneshot#spencer reid scenario#spencer reid drabble#spencer reid fic#spencer reid fanfiction#criminal minds fanfiction#criminal minds#criminal minds fic#criminal minds x reader
8K notes
·
View notes
Text
down bad

bucky barnes x reader
word count: 3.9k
author's note: i couldn't stop thinking about bucky being able to use his metal hand as a vibrator and therefore this was born.
warnings/tags: SMUT, oral (female receiving), fingering, bucky being used as a human vibrator, multiple orgasms, language, consumption of alcohol, reader is afab, no use of y/n, slightly possessive bucky, 18+ only
âYouâve got to be fucking joking,â Natasha mutters through a mouth full of popcorn. âTyler from the statistics department? Are we talking about the same Tyler from statistics?â
âNat, for the fourth time, yes. Tyler from statistics. The only Tyler from statistics that I know.â You reach for the bottle of Moscato that the two of you are sharing, pouring yourself some more wine.
âNuh-uh,â Natasha shakes her head. âI don't believe you. There's no way he could be that bad.â She takes a sip from her own glass of wine. âHe's too gorgeous,â she shrugs, turning to face you on the couch. The romantic comedy you had picked out for your bi-monthly movie night plays forgotten in the background.
âTrust me,â you sigh. âI was just as shocked as you are. But I swear on my life, he stuck his tongue in my ear. In my fucking ear, but wouldn't go down on me.â You can tell by the look on her face that Nat is trying her hardest not to laugh.
âHe said his dick game is âtoo good to need to eat a girl outâ.â You shake your head, cringing at the memory. âWhich is also what he said when I merely suggested that he use my vibrator on me instead. He looked like I had kicked his dog.â
âWell?â she asks, a pained expression across her features. âWas it? Too good?â
âI didn't stay to find out,â you admit. âI faked a work emergency and dipped.â A laugh breaks through her pursed lips.
âI'm sorryââ she says, although her face says otherwise. âI shouldn't laugh. You just have the worst luck with men. Isn't that the third failed hook-up in what? Six months?â
âDon't fucking remind me,â you groan, throwing your head back on the couch and staring up at the living room ceiling. âI think I've lost all hope of ever having an orgasm given to me by another person again.â
Nat opens her mouth to speak, but quickly closes it when you both notice voices approaching from the hallway.
Sam and Bucky enter the room a moment later, both dressed uncharacteristically nice. You suddenly feel the desire to conceal yourself with the fleece throw blanket laying across your lap. You and Nat usually plan your movie nights for when the tower is relatively empty, so you're just wearing a pair of old sweatpants and a tank top. Bare-faced and hair unstyled, the fact that Bucky's gaze is locked on you as the two of them approach where you and Nat are lounging doesn't help. He's not smiling - but there's a look on his face that you don't quite understand. The ghost of a smirk on his lips and a twinkle of amusement in his eyes.
It's a look that makes you nervous - in addition to already feeling flutters in the pit of your stomach at how fucking good he looks.
âHey, boys,â Nat greets them cheerily. âWhere are the two of you going so dolled up?â
âThere's a new nightclub in Brooklyn that a group of SHIELD trainees are going to tonight,â Sam answers. âThey invited us and we've got nothing better to do. Figured we'd go check it out, get a few drinks. You ladies want to tag along? Or are you too busy watching - what is this, 10 Things I Hate About You?â He gestures towards the screen.
âCouldn't hurt to get out of the house for a while tonight, right?â Nat looks at you for confirmation, a knowing gleam in her eyes. âWho knows, you might even meet someone,â she adds, nudging you with her elbow.
Bucky lets out a sound halfway between a laugh and a cough, which he tries to play off as the latter. You narrow your eyes at him before glancing back to Natasha.
âFor sure,â you agree, trying to ignore Bucky's bizarre behavior. âCouldn't hurt. You guys go on, we'll get ready and head there soon. Text us the name of the club?â You direct the last part to Sam in particular.
âYou got it,â Sam says as he pulls his cell phone from his coat pocket. He turns to leave when both your and Natâs phones chime with the club information. âLet's go man, our Uber's here,â he directs at Bucky.
âSee you both soon,â he says before turning to follow Sam, though his gaze is still only on one of you.
âI'm gonna go throw on some make-up, curl my hair, and hope I can find something somewhat cute toââ Nat starts as soon as Bucky and Sam have turned back down the hallway.
âWas he acting kind of odd?â you interrupt her in a hushed tone.
âBarnes? Always. I've stopped reading into it too much.â
âSome spy you are,â you mumble. âMeet me back here when you're ready.â
â â â â â
One hour later, you're applying some last minute mascara and lip gloss in the backseat of an Uber on your way to downtown Brooklyn. Natasha sits beside you, ranting about an assignment that Fury has tasked her with and you swear you're trying your hardest to absorb everything she's saying - but your mind keeps going back to the way Bucky was looking at you just an hour ago.
What was with that little smirk? That curious glimmer in his eyes? Had he overheard your conversation with Nat? Had he developed the ability to read minds and knew you were thinking about how fucking hot he looked? Or was that thought simply written all over your face?
You knew you couldn't deny it. Bucky does look exceptionally attractive in his black suit, with his perfectly tousled hair - but you had found him to be ridiculously good looking since you'd first met him. Even in casual, everyday clothes, even in gym shorts and drenched in sweat, even covered in blood after particularly brutal missâ
âYou girls have a great evening,â your Uber driver interrupts your train of thought as he comes to a stop in front of your destination.
You really need to get fucking laid. You definitely shouldn't be having these kinds of thoughts about Bucky. He's your coworker, your teammate, your training partner on many occasions, your friendâŠ
Natasha thanks him and hands him a generous cash tip before climbing out of the car right after you.
âThanks,â you tell her. âI'll buy our drinks.â
âDon't worry about me,â she tells you with a sly grin as you both flash the bouncer your IDs and enter the club. Despite the night still being relatively young, it's already bustling inside.
âYou just focus on meeting people, mingling, maybe hitting it off with a super hot guy and taking him back to your place for some mind-blowingââ
âSuper hot guy? Are you talking about me?â Samâs voice interrupts Nat. You both turn around to see him and Bucky walking towards you, drinks in hand.
There's a roguish smile on Bucky's face as his eyes skim up and down your figure.
âYou both look wonderful,â he compliments, but once again, his stare is focused only on you. If Natasha notices, she says nothing.
To be fair, you were impressed with how well you managed to put yourself together with such little notice. You found a black, backless mini dress crammed in the back of your closet that you had forgotten all about after snagging it on clearance forever ago. The form-fitting material hugs you in all the right ways, and paired with your favorite pair of strappy black heels, you're feeling infinitely more confident than you were when Bucky saw you just an hour prior.
âThanks!â You chirp quickly, averting your gaze from him to take in your surroundings. To your left, the dance floor is lively, though not too overcrowded for your liking. To your right, there's a bar surrounded by tables filled with groups of people conversing - you vaguely recognize a couple of SHIELD agents huddled around one. The entire room is illuminated by the faint blue-green glow of the mood lighting, and the bass of the music vibrates through the floorboards.
Sam and Bucky excuse themselves to go say hey to the group of agents that had invited them, while Nat all but drags you over to the bar. You order a double shot of whiskey and throw it back as quickly as you can.
âI see what you mean now,â Nat whispers to you after downing her shot of tequila. âAbout Barnes,â she clarifies. âHe's been eye-fucking you since we walked through the door.â
If you hadn't already swallowed your liquor, you would have spewed it all over her.
âHe has not been eye-fucking me, Nat,â you say in an almost scolding tone.
âI'm just saying,â she throws her hands up. âThereâs no way he could possibly be any worse than the last few guys you've gone for. I think you should go for it,â she shrugs.
âIt's not that I don't think he'd be good,â you say defensively, forcing yourself to look away from where he and Sam are socializing with the small group of SHIELD agents a few tables away. âI just don't want things to be weird afterwards. We work together nearly every day, and we have a bunch of mutual friendsââ
âSuit yourself,â she cuts you off in a tone of voice that very much says if you say so. âNow, are you going to dance with me or not?â She adds as she begins tugging you towards the ever-busying dance floor.
You spend the next half hour dancing with Nat before she's swept away by some black-haired doctor looking type. Good for her, you think as you watch them converse intimately at a small booth on the other side of the room.
Thanks to the liquid courage that runs through your veins, you're okay with the fact that Bucky stands just twenty feet away from you, watching you as you dance among the thick crowd of people.
You've made eye contact with him a few times now - on accident or on purpose, you're not sure at this point. But each time, your eyes lingers on his for a moment longer than the last.
You're mentally daring him to come here, to make a move, to do something other than stand to the sidelines of whatever conversation Sam and the others are engaged in.
The slightest bit of pressure on your waist snaps you back to the now congested dance floor.
You look up to find that the hand on your waist belongs to a tall man with shoulder length, sandy blonde hair. He's conventionally attractive enough, though not who you were hoping would come grab you on the dance floor.
âI'm Shawn,â he introduces himself, loudly enough for you to hear him over the roaring music. You tell him your name, pushing aside the pang of disappointment in your chest.
âDo you want to go somewhere a bit quieter to talk, maybe? Let me buy you a drinââ
âThere you are! I've been looking everywhere for you,â a voice booms from behind you.
Shawn immediately retracts his hand from your waist, backing up a few inches as Bucky comes into view beside you.
âMust not have been looking too hard, I've been right here this whole time,â you jab back with a smug smile.
âSorry, I didn't mean toââ Shawn says as he starts to back away.
âNo worries, bud,â Bucky says in an overly friendly voice as he moves to stand in front of you, blocking you from Shawn's view entirely.
âTook you long enough,â you tell Bucky once the man is out of ear shot, once again beginning to sway to the music. âGet bored of listening to Sam hype himself up to the newbies?â
He takes a step closer, angling himself behind you. The crowd of people surrounding you edges you closer to him - your bare back brushing against the cool satin fabric of his suit.
âMaybe,â his chest vibrates against your skin when he speaks. He places his hands on either side of your hips - eliciting goosebumps across your skin in a way that no one else has in a long, long time.
âOr maybe I just wanted to save you from wasting your time on another guy who can't make you come.â
Your movements come to an abrupt pause as his words hit you.
He had fucking overheard your conversation with Natasha.
At a loss for words, you turn to face him. There's a shit-eating grin spread across his face. He thinks this is hilarious and it's obvious.
âHasn't anyone ever told you it's rude to eavesdrop?â
âIs it really eavesdropping if I have superhuman hearing?â He takes a step closer to you, closing what little distance was separating you. The peaks of your breasts brush against his chest.
âSo what happens now that you've saved me from another unsatisfactory hook-up?â You challenge, staring up at him in the neon blue lighting.
You can smell hints of cedarwood and sage from his cologne in your close proximity. It's so delicious that it's dizzying.
âLet me take you somewhere more private than this dance floor and I'll show you.â
âYou seem to have a lot of confidence in your ability to give me a better experience,â you say, leaning forward so that your face is just inches from his.
He responds by placing his flesh hand on the small of your back and pulling you flush against him. The tips of his fingers continue to dance down the skin of your exposed spine. His vibranium hand comes to cradle your jaw, his metal thumb tracing your bottom lip.
His mouth forms a dark smirk - and then you feel it. It starts soft and subtle and then gradually increases in intensity.
His fucking thumb is vibrating against your lip.
If you hadn't been standing in the middle of a crowded dance floor at a nightclub in downtown Brooklyn, you would have taken that thumb into your mouth and sucked on it right then and there.
âWhat do you say?â he asks, now tugging on your bottom lip with the pulsing digit. âAre you going to let me take you to the first empty room I can find in this place and make you come?â
âI say show me the way.â
He removes his hand from your face and turns you in the direction of the back of the club. He guides you through the throng of dancers, keeping his hands placed firmly on either side of your waist from behind. His vibranium fingers still hum softly, reminding you of what he says is to come.
Directly past the dance floor, there's a hallway blocked off by a rope with a sign that reads employees only. Taking a quick look around, you see that all of the patrons surrounding you and Bucky are paying you no mind. Bucky unhooks the flimsy rope and the two of you slip down the hallway.
He jiggles the handles of several doors that all turn out to be locked. Not wanting to waste any time or draw any attention to yourselves with picking locks, you continue down the dark corridor until the heavy music from the heart of the club fades to a muted roar.
The very last door opens without a hitch.
Thanks to the pale orange glow of a table lamp on a desk in the corner of the room, you can see that you're in a makeshift office/supply room - a couple of filing cabinets, cleaning supplies, extra glassware, and some sound equipment strewn haphazardly throughout the limited space.
Bucky clicks the lock into place as soon as he closes the door behind him.
You're going to turn around him and tell him that he doesn't have to do this - that as badly as you want this, you don't want to ruin your friendship, that as badly as you want him, he doesn't have anything to prove to you - but his lips are already on yours as soon as you start to open your mouth.
He doesn't take his lips off of yours as he guides you backwards to the rickety wooden desk. The backs of your thighs hit the table and Bucky effortlessly lifts you to sit on the edge, giving him the perfect angle to deepen the kiss - with his tongue exploring your mouth, you're unable to stop yourself from groaning into the kiss.
You fist your fingers into his hair, tugging just hard enough so that he hisses into your mouth. His own hands trail from the sides of your stomach and down your thighs, until he reaches the tail of your dress. You instinctively part your legs for him, as much as the restrictive fabric will allow, and his vibranium hand shoots between your thighs.
He teases you, dragging his index finger along the cloth of your panties that you know you're close to soaking through already. Just as the tip of his finger pauses above your clit, his finger begins emitting the softest vibration.
You break the kiss, breathless as you throw your head back at the sensation. Bucky takes it as an opportunity to attach his lips to the pulse point of your throat, nipping your flesh with his teeth followed by a wet kiss.
He continues with the ministrations through your panties until you're rutting against his hand, needing more. He tugs your underwear to the side and increases the intensity of the vibration before nudging his middle finger past your entrance.
You have to hold onto his shoulders to steady yourself - despite the fact that you're sitting, your body feels like jelly beneath his touch. He adds in his index finger with ease before cupping your pussy in his palm - the heel of his hand pulsating against your clit.
âFuck, Bucky,â you cry against his mouth.
âYou're so fucking wet for me, you know that?â He coos, thrusting both of his fingers against the spongy-flesh of your walls.
You can feel the vibrations of his hand all the way from your belly to your toes.
You begin grinding your hips to meet the movement of his fingers, fucking yourself against his hand. There's a familiar knot forming in your lower belly as he curls his fingers inside you -
âI want you to think about me and how good I'm making you feel every time you think about letting some fuckinâ nobody touch you,â he says in a low voice next to your ear. âI want you to think about riding my fingers until you come all over my hand.â
His words send you over the edge and you do exactly that - your pussy clenching around his fingers as you ride them through your orgasm. While you're still coming down from the high of your climax, Bucky pulls his metal fingers out of you and brings them to your lips, inserting his index finger in your mouth. You swirl your tongue around the slick metal as he brings the vibrations to a halt and then slowly pulls the finger from your mouth.
He picks you up off the edge of the desk and plants you back on the ground - your legs still shaking from how hard you had come.
âTurn around and lean over the desk,â he instructs you, soft but authoritative.
You don't know if it's because of the way he's looking at you or because of how good he's already made you feel, but in that moment, you would've done anything he asked of you.
You bend over the desk, supporting yourself by leaning on your forearms. You peak back over your shoulder to look at Bucky - he hikes your dress up, baring your ass to him.
He lets out an audible groan before he has even pulled your panties down to your ankles.
He kneels on the ground behind you, his face inches away from your cunt. He uses both his flesh and metal hands to spread you open for him, and then his tongue is licking up your center from behind.
God, you hope no one tries to come into this room. The door may be locked but the sounds that someone would hear if they even walked up to the doorâŠ
Bucky knows just how to make you writhe above him. He's soft when he's kissing up your folds and unsparing when he's sucking your clit between his lips. His hands hold your ass in a firm grasp that teeters between pleasure and pain.
You grind back against his face and he moans so deeply that you feel the vibration of it up your core. Your eyes roll back into your head as you clutch the sides of the desk to better support yourself.
His enthusiasm alone has you spiraling towards a second climax embarrassingly fast.
âYou know,â he murmurs against your sensitive pussy. âWhen I overheard you say that someone had refused to go down on you, I couldn't believe it. What a fuckin idiot to pass this up.â He gives your ass cheek a firm slap with his flesh hand before diving his face between your legs once more.
It's just seconds before you feel the telltale pressure growing in your lower belly once more. You go limp against the table, Bucky placing his hands on the backs of your thighs to help keep you upright as you ride out your orgasm on his face.
You continue to lay against the desk as you regain control of your breathing. Bucky stands up, tugging your panties up your legs and back around your waist as he does. He then shimmies your dress back down into place so that you're once again looking club-appropriate.
When you turn around to face him, he's wiping your slick from his lower face on the sleeve of his suit, once again displaying a shit-eating grin.
âWhat was it you said?â He asks in mocking contemplation. âYou had lost all hope of ever having an orgasm given to you by another person again?â
âI think you've made your point. You're fantastic at eating pussy and you're a walking human-sex toy.â You roll your eyes at him and start to walk towards the door, but he grabs your wrist in his metal hand, stopping you.
He pulls you back to him and brings his flesh hand to cradle your jawline. He stares at you in a heavy, uncertain silence for a split second before bringing his lips to yours.
It's a kiss that's a bit more hesitant, and a lot less rushed than the one before. You taste yourself all over him, warm and salty. He takes his time getting lost in your mouth - you savor every second and it still comes to and end all too once.
âCouldn't help myself,â he smiles softly when he pulls away. âJust had to kiss you one last time.â
You can't help the way your heart skips a beat when he says the word last.
You clear your throat. âWe should probably go find Sam and Natasha,â you say, giving him a small smile in return. âI'm sure they're both wondering where the hell we are.â
You spend the rest of the evening attempting to mingle with friends, but there's one thought that torments you for the remaining duration of the night - just a few hours ago, you doubted that you'd ever have a satisfactory hook-up ever again.
Now, you had to wonder if anyone else could ever make you feel as good as Bucky did.
âĄâĄâĄâĄâĄ
i left this kind of open-ended soooo leave it to your own interpretation what happens next for them đ€
as always comments/reblogs are infinitely appreciated. thanks for reading!
my masterlist
#bucky barnes x reader#bucky x reader#bucky barnes#bucky barnes x you#bucky barnes one shot#bucky barnes oneshot#bucky barnes one-shot#bucky x you#bucky barnes fanfiction#bucky barnes imagine#bucky barnes fic#my writing#flowersforbucky
4K notes
·
View notes