#sorry i forgot that tag i was too busy being disgusted at myself for... this.

[profound-bouquetbird]

Hi yes,i completely understand as to why someone might feel uncomfortable writing a fic abt jimmy in a romantic aspect,which is exactly why i asked for angst. ( I'm a sucker for angst )

I was asking for a scenario where the reader and jimmy had already been in an established relationship with Jimmy wayy prior than boarding on the tulpar, i was wondering that the reader has positive views on jimmy but after finding out what he did to anya the reader completely breaks down and loses every ounce of love/compassion/respect for jimmy. And how curly/swansea and daisuke would try to comfort the reader.

Jimmy tries to convince the reader to give him another chance but the reader rips him a new one,like just jimmy being pathetic and miserable like he deserves to be.

I've been sent requests and messages that everyone can't wait for this fic, now I'm scared I'm going to disappoint 😔

BUT WHO CARES, I'M STILL WRITING IT, RAAAHHHH 🦅💥💥🦅🦅🦅💥💥💥

Edit: I'm done with writing it and right as I was about to post it, I realized that I forgot to put the actual comfort in the fict... Yeahh....

Warnings: mentions/hinting of sexual assault, Daisuke and the reader having a parent/son relationship, mentions of paper cuts, mentions of guns, drug overdose, murder, blood, hurt/no comfort, not proofread

I looked at Jimmy in absolute horror. No tears, no sobbing, nothing left my lips. There was only one feeling remaining though...

Disgust.

He called out my name, and I couldn't stop the shiver of fear that rushed through me.

"Please... Let me explain."

Three days before boarding ᯓ★

"One year?!" I gasped out in disbelief, eyes widening in shock at the news my boyfriend just dropped. One year out in space? Why would he even accept that offer?!

"I know, I know... But we need the money." He breathed out, not looking so pleased with the outcome either.

I sighed, knowing that he was right. I relaxed back onto the couch, crossing my arms in disappointment.

One year without him here with me? No contact at all? I barely survived his last shipment, and that only lasted three months, and now I had to wait a year? they were asking too much. What do they even ship out?

"... I'm sorry." He breathed out, and his expression only made me feel worse.

"You don't have to apologize... It's your job." I sighed, a small smile on my face to reassure him. Sure, it would be a loonnngg year for me, but it was for the money, for our future... for us.

"I'll go start dinner for us... Okay?" He gave me a sad smile, walking over to me and resting a gentle hand on the back of my head, placing a light kiss to my temple as he made his way towards the kitchen.

I smirked, watching him walk off with a playful roll of my eyes.

"And by that I'm guessing you're ordering pizza?" I teased, causing him to let out a quick laugh before disappearing into the kitchen.

With him gone, I was now alone with my thoughts.

I mean- a whole year away from Earth? That's sure to leave some impact on both me and him.

... My saddened expression slowly started to fade as a thought crossed my mind.

What if I applied for the job with him?

A smile grew on my face, but I couldn't tell him now, it should be a surprise! Yes! Imagine his joy when he finds out I get to tag along with him, and for a whole year at that!

Oh, the overjoyed look on his face-

"You want plain peperoni again or do you want to switch it up for tonight?" I jumped a bit; my thoughts being interrupted as Jimmy yelled from the kitchen.

"Uh- Yeah! A peperoni will do!" I yelled back, smiling to myself. Maybe I should apply after dinner.

One week before boarding ᯓ★

I giggled to myself quietly as I watched Jimmy pack his bags. He always liked to pack early, says he has time to check everything and pack anything that's missing.

"Jimmy..." I dragged out his name, trying to contain my excited expression as I watched him.

"Yes, Y/n? I'm busy, I wouldn't want to miss anything." He mumbled out, rummaging through his things. My smile felt slightly, but I decided to shake that uneasy feeling away. He was just stressed.

"I've got some exciting news." I stated, my smile and excitement returning as he peaked at me over his shoulder and gave me a confused glance, "I applied as a Pony express nurse and... I got in!" I almost squeaked out in excitement, but... my excitement died down when he didn't return it.

He stayed in silence for a little while, still looking over his shoulder but not looking at me.

"... Why would you do that?" He asked me, his voice cold as he still didn't look at me. Did I... do something wrong?

"Well... I'm sure that us being apart would make both your journey and my stay would feel way longer than it was supposed to, so... I thought going with you would make both of our stays fly by faster." I stated sheepishly, now unsure of myself. I looked down at my hands, feeling an intense sense of guilt wash over me as the two of us stayed in silence.

I heard him sigh and his clothes ruffle, soft footsteps walking towards me and soon enough his arms were wrapped around me in a warm embrace.

"I'm sorry I reacted like that... I just didn't want you to get hurt." He mumbled into my hair, one of his hands resting on my lower back while the other ran through my hair.

Every ounce of dread faded away with those simple words, hugging him back with a smile on my face.

"... I should've told you earlier, I'm sorry too." I mumbled back. I felt his grip get a bit tighter, which made me feel comforted. He mumbled something underneath his breath that I couldn't comprehend, but I didn't question it.

Two months before the crash ᯓ★

Life on the ship was... Weird. I mean, I knew I was away from Earth, but it felt like we didn't even take off, which I guess is better than floating around.

Everyone on the ship was nice as well. Anya, my coworker was really sweet and really competitive when it came to boardgames, but she's been oddly quiet around my boyfriend, Jimmy... maybe because she found out he was my boyfriend she didn't want to seem like she was going to steal him away from me, which I find very sweet.

Daisuke was interesting. He was a bit nervous for the first few days, but I couldn't really do anything since he didn't really want to talk to anyone. He quickly opened up to us though, and it's always interesting to hear him talk, he does say some weird stuff sometimes though.

Swansea was the same as boarding day, acting very serious and only talking about work, but I sometimes get to hear a little about his past. He has a wife and two kids! How nice.

Curly was a nice captain, I don't see him nor talk to him often, but the times that I did he was nice.

And of course there was my boyfriend, Jimmy. He focuses on his work a lot, which is good don't get me wrong! But I sometimes want him to spend time with me or even visit me in the medical bay...

All of the relationships to the side, work wasn't really that hard. Everyone made sure to take care of themselves, Daisuke got hurt every once in a while, but even he knew not to waste supplies over something as little as a paper cut (I still sneak him my own band-aids every once in a while, though).

---

I smiled to myself as I read through the reports, Anya and I split the 'interrogation' part of the psych test, I was the one to deal with Daisuke since he was the only one to actually drag out the psych test with his little stories. Anya complained to me about it, so I offered to take the test instead of her.

I sat in the room with the young intern, finding myself actually interested in his stories. He somehow managed to find a story with every question that I asked... And when he didn't have an opportunity to rant about a story, he just extended his answer.

He was just done with his rant about how he managed to hit his pinkie toe when he was trying to pass a screwdriver to Swansea, hilarious really.

"Hm..." I hummed a bit, tapping my bottom lip with my pen as I inspected the questions. "... How would you say your relationships with the crewmembers are?" I read off the question, ticking it off the list for myself.

"Awh, absolutely great!" He began excitedly, and just as I thought he was going to leave it at that, he continued.

"Curly is an awesome captain! Sure, I don't see him often, but he's so cool! He always knows how to fix a problem.

Anya is sweet too, but I don't see her as often like I do you. While we're on the topic of you, you've also been pretty awesome, you didn't have to give me your band-aids though.

Swansea is rude, but he can be cool from time to time. I'm still proud that I managed to make him laugh the other day with one of my jokes. But he can tone it down on the yelling sometimes...

Jimmy is also pretty cool! Being a co-pilot must be really hard, and I appreciate that he's in the cockpit most of the time to make sure we don't crash. But he could come out every once in a while... Last time I saw him was a day or two ago when he visited Anya in the medbay though." My smile fell at that small comment, my writing stopping abruptly as I stared down at my notes for a moment.

Jimmy visited Anya. Why wouldn't he come to visit me? I mean- maybe he walked into the medbay to look for me and I wasn't there, even then why would he ask Anya where I was or at least wait for me to come back. So why did he leave the cockpit and not come to visit me first. I'm his damn partner!

Daisuke noticed my silence, his own happy expression turning awkward and on edge.

"Uh... Did I say something wrong?" He asked sheepishly, almost sinking into his seat while clutching the edges of his seat awkwardly.

"Oh... No, Daisuke. Don't worry, I just got lost in thought." I smiled warmly towards him. That small act made him relax. Jimmy is not important currently; I'll talk to him after the psych eval with Daisuke.

I looked back at the paper to see the rest of the questions, only to be surprised that we were done with the last one.

"Looks like we're done here." I sighed, setting down the papers on the small table. Daisuke let out an overexaggerated sigh of relief, slumping in his seat.

"Ugh, finally!" He chuckled, "I thought the questions were never gonna end!"

I chuckled at his antics, standing up from my seat and picking up the papers once more.

"I suggest you get back to work, don't want Swansea worrying now, do we?" I chuckled, opening the door and waiting for him to walk out.

"No! That's even worse! Please continue with the questions!" He whined, getting up and walking out despite his words, although with a bit of a slump.

I walked out right after him, closing the door right after walking out.

"Good luck." I sighed, watching him walk away to where Swansea supposedly was.

"You, too!" He yelled back, smiling brightly, waving goodbye while turning the corner.

I exhaled through my nose, making my way towards the medbay. You know what? I don't have time to argue with him right now about him visiting Anya, he always thinks he's in the right, so the argument won't really lead to anything.

A week before the crash ᯓ★

Anya looked... on edge recently.

She has been jumpier than before... Now that I think about it, I don't remember her being jumpy in the first week.

I did ask her if something was wrong and that she could talk to me if needed, but she just brushed me off and told me that she was fine. People deal with their problems in different ways, and I get that, but... I'm worried about her.

Right now, I was sitting on the kitchen counter, poking at my food a bit as I was lost in thought.

My thoughts were interrupted by footsteps. I turned around only to spot captain Curly. I smiled at the man, turning fully to greet him.

"Morning, captain." I smiled, "Came for some breakfast?" I asked, as if it wasn't already obvious. The man gave me a tired smile and walked to the kitchen, grabbing the already prepared meal like I had. Anya was kind enough to make us a plate each because I slept in and Curly doesn't come out of the cockpit often, same as Jimmy.

"Yup." He tiredly answered my question, sitting down beside me as he began eating. I observed his tired manors for a couple of seconds, giving him a sympathetic look.

"Need a nap, Curly?" I asked him, taking a bite of my own food as I waited for his response.

"Desperately, but it's not like I can." He sighed, the small smile on his face turning into a small frown. I furrowed my brows at his words.

"How so? Jimmy is there to take over when you're too tired, right?" I questioned, setting down my fork. He furrowed his brows, closing his eyes for a moment. He looked like he had been caught in a lie.

"It's not that... simple." He dragged out his words, which only made me even more confused.

"What do you mean?" I cautiously asked, eying him suspiciously. He exhaled through his nose, setting down his fork as well as he pinched the bridge of his nose.

"He just... doesn't look like he's in the right place to maneuver the ship properly." He said, trying to end the conversation with that. But I didn't want to back out that easily.

"He's been in that cockpit almost 24/7 since we boarded. I don't understand how he couldn't control the ship properly." I tried to argue, getting a bit agitated. Why would he think my boyfriend was incompetent? He can take responsibility.

"Just... leave it to me, okay?" He sighed, obviously not wanting to argue, and I respect that.

"... Alright, captain. I trust you." I backed out, standing up to wash my dishes.

"Leave the dishes to me." Curly spoke up, standing up himself to wash his own dish, grabbing mine before I could protest. I smiled, mumbling a quick thank you before making my way towards the medbay.

Zero days before the crash ᯓ★

I was patching up another one of Daisuke's paper cuts. He claims that he doesn't know how to use a band-aid correctly, but I think he just wants to rant to me.

"I wonder what I'm missing back on earth..." He sighed after finishing his long rant about some hard level that he barely passed on his Gameboy.

"You'll be so far back on the trends." I chuckled, patting his paper cut to convince him that it was on correctly.

"Don't you worry about me; I'll easily catch up." He tried to flex his muscles for the dramatic effect. I rolled my eyes at that, patting his shoulder and standing up.

"Well, your injury is taken care of, you can head back to work-" I was interrupted by blaring red lights and alarms.

my heart dropped at that, looking around the room as if I was going to find the source. I looked back towards Daisuke to see his panicked expression.

"Stay here, I'll go look to see what's wrong-"

"Are you insane!? Don't go out, please!" Daisuke pleaded, clinging onto my uniform sleeve to make me stay. My heart ached at his desperate please.

But, then again, it could just be a fake alarm... But that also doesn't mean I should leave him alone-

The whole ship started to shake; the alarms started to blare more loudly and so did Daisuke.

He kept repeating "Oh my god!" and "Please, no!"

I clung to him tightly, covering his head as a sort of instinct as I pulled us down onto the floor. The things on the desk we were next to started to fall onto us and I covered Daisuke from everything. Everything moved and trashed around in the medbay and the only thing I could do is cling to him.

What was going on?

Two months after the crash ᯓ★

I sat next to Jimmy, trying to comfort him by resting my head on his shoulder and slowly petting the back of his hand with my thumb. But he was still tense, his expression looking permanently sour.

"... Talk to me, Jimmy. Please..." I tried to get him to open up. I heard him scoff and moments later he shoved me off of him.

"Fuck off, leave me alone." He grumbled, standing up and storming off. I didn't chase after him.

I let out a long exhale, pinching the bridge of my nose and resting my elbows on my knees. I understood why he would be on edge, I mean, one of his closest friends literally drove the ship into an asteroid, who wouldn't be upset?

But he could at least talk to me about it, I'm his partner after all.

"Are you okay?" I heard a soft voice behind me. I turned around to spot Anya. I put up a fake smile to comfort her though.

"I'm okay, Anya, really." I breathed out, straightening up my posture to mimic a confident look, although failing.

She gave me a pitiful look, taking a seat in the armchair next to me.

"... How have you been holding up?" I asked her after a couple of moments of silence. She was quiet for a little while, making me think it wasn't as well as I previously presumed. I mean- the ship crashed, and Curly is basically lacking skin and limbs but... she strong... Gosh, now I sound like a piece of shit when I really think about it.

"Poorly, I can't..." She closed her eyes, resting her head on the back of the couch. It felt like she was keeping something from me.

"... Nevermind." She muttered, standing up to walk away. I opened my mouth to call out to her, for her to tell me what she wanted, but I held back. Maybe it was better if I didn't know.

Four months after the crash ᯓ★

Everything and on the ship felt eerie.

Daisuke was quieter, which absolutely broke my heart. Anya looked weaker, she couldn't even glance towards Curly or his general direction. Swansea was getting absolutely drunk out of his mind on mouthwash. And Jimmy was... distant.

How could Curly even do this? The last time I talked to him he seemed completely fine, why would he change up so suddenly?

I heard a rough voice call out my name, I turned quickly to spot Swansea.

"Yes?" I hummed. The old man grabbed my forearm roughly.

"We need to talk." He stated, dragging me away from everyone in the main area. Jimmy gave the two of us a glare but stayed in his spot.

After the two of us were out of eyesight and earshot, Swansea let go of me. I was quick to massage the spot he grabbed, giving him a glare.

"There was no need to drag me." I grumbled. Swansea ignored my words and began to talk.

"I already talked to Anya about this beforehand, so this is mostly me telling you the plan." He pointed an accusing finger at me. I stayed quiet, waiting for him to begin talking as I massaged the spot he grabbed.

"There is only on cryogen pod left. And Anya and I agreed to give it to Daisuke." He stated. I gave him a look of confusion.

"I thought the room to the cryogen pods was completely blocked off by foam...?" I muttered in confusion. Why would he lie about something like that?

"I said that because Jimmy would've made it a big deal and it would've been a damn free for all in here." I was offended by his words, giving him a look of disbelief as I took a step back.

"Jimmy? Why would he do that?" I grumbled, making sure to keep my voice quiet. I didn't want him to hear, how offended and utterly hurt he would be if he heard Swansea's accusations.

"He- Never mind..." He gave up on an explanation, and I decided to not push it further. "What I'm trying to say is... We're saving the last pod for Daisuke." He said and I didn't protest, giving him a nod of approval and letting out a sigh of relief.

"Alright... but I should really tell Jimmy tha-"

"One word to him about this and you're dead." He grunted, pointing a finger to my chest before storming off.

I lightly massaged the area where he poked me, watching him walk away with a frown and furrowed brows as I composed myself in silence.

Why are they so against telling Jimmy, their now captain, about the cryogen pod? I don't understand...

---

I was panicking.

Daisuke and Jimmy were nowhere to be seen, Swansea also, and Anya had locked herself in the medicalbay.

"Anya, please open the door, talk to me!" I yelled at the door, my voice shaky and my breaths quick as I leaned against the door, staring at it like I was going to pass through it.

She called my name weakly, making me even more anxious than before.

"I'm... I'm so sorry." She sounded like she was crying, which only made my worries worsen.

"Sorry? You- you don't have anything to be sorry for, Anya. Please open the door for me." I laughed awkwardly, like when you're caught sneaking out by your parents and are trying to make up an excuse.

"Jimmy... he..." Her voice was weak, and the mention of my boyfriend's name made me swallow thickly, afraid of what she would say.

"He what, Anya, please... Say something." I whispered, caressing the door, pretending like I was comforting her.

"I didn't want to... He made me." She called out my name, "He forced me- I'm sorry, I really am..."

I was confused.

"Forced you? Anya, please unlock the door and we'll talk, I won't be mad. Whatever you say I'll understand." I tried talking to her, but she became unresponsive. It stayed like that for a little while before I began banging on her door.

"Anya? Anya please respond-" My blood ran cold as I heard an echoing scream come from within, but it wasn't Anya's... No... Please-

Before I could think of anything else, I felt a sharp pain on the back of my head, and everything went black.

One hour until Judgement ᯓ★

My eyes fluttered open, my breathing slow as I tried to remember what happened. I tried moving but I realized I was tied down onto something.

I blinked rapidly to get used to the new lighting, looking around to see where I was. I was in the common area, living room as Daisuke called it.

Speaking of him, where was he? I remember hearing something... He screamed, he got hurt

I squinted as I looked around rapidly, where was everyone?

"Daisuke? Anya? Jimmy? Swansea? Anyone! Can anyone hear me?!" I yelled, my voice raspy and my head throbbing. It was hard to adjust to the red lighting, but once it did, I tried looking for clues.

"Can anyone hear..." My voice trailed off as I spotted someone lying on the ground, it was heard to see who it was. I squinted and tried to focus.

"Daisuke?" I questioned, but the boy didn't budge.

"Daisuke! Don't fuck with me! Are you alright?" I yelled at him, tugging at my restraints. His lack of a response left me frustrated. I groaned, trashing around to try and loosen up the ropes a bit. Who would even tie me up in the first place?

I managed to loosen up the knots, finding them and untying them in the process. Whoever did tie me up sure didn't pay attention in whatever knot tying class they took.

I sat up straight, looking down to see I was tied up on the coffee table. I stretched a bit, finding the silence awful, but I continued.

I walked towards the laying boy cautiously, my eyes adjusting the closer I got and... Oh... Oh god-

"Daisuke..." I breathed out, eyes wide in horror as I stared at the interns split face.

I quickly ran towards him, crouching down as I didn't want to touch him, feeling like my filthy hands would ruin him.

"What... how-" Tears welled up in my eyes as I stared at the lifeless body of the intern. I looked back to where I was tied up, jumping and feeling petrified as I saw Swansea's limp body tied up in a chair, how had I not noticed him before?

I switched my gaze between the young intern and the older mechanic, not sure what to do. Is there even anything I can do? Daisuke's skull is literally split open and, by the looks of it, Swansea has two bullets in his head.

I stood up, legs shaking as I walked back, looking down the hall hesitantly and into the medical bay.

I slapped my hand to my mouth as I saw Anya, lifeless with blood seeping from her mouth from what I could see. Quiet sobs left my lips as I tried not falling to the ground. There was only one person who could've done this...

But... Jimmy would never do such a thing! Yes, he may seem a little cold and distant at times but that doesn't mean he's a murderer! He's my boyfriend, he's... he's supposed to be the good guy...

Who else could have done that though? What else could've done that? I looked back at Daisuke.

His head was open, I stated that multiple times... But with what? A pipe couldn't have done that, and the axe was in Swansea's care... Then that would explain him being tied up in a chair.

The more I thought about it, the more it made sense.

The harsh reaction I had when I told him I got the job, Anya's usual attitude falling when he was around, looking scared and over all staying quiet... Her words. It all made sense

Not only did he go on a killing spree, but he cheated, he forced himself onto Anya, he traumatized her. He didn't kill her, she killed herself because of him, and that was far worse.

The love I previously had for him seemed to just disappear at that moment, being replaced with guilt, anger.

I heard shuffling, my head snapping to see him.

I looked at Jimmy in absolute horror. No tears, no sobbing, nothing left my lips. There was only one feeling remaining though...

Disgust.

He called out my name, and I couldn't stop the shiver of fear that rushed through me.

"Please... Let me explain."

"Explain what?" I questioned, voice barely audible.

He opened his mouth to speak, but he stuttered, not knowing how to even start his sentence. Pathetic.

"I... I had to! Anya fucking killed herself because of a stupid depressive episode she had! Daisuke got injured in the vents while trying to save her, I tried to save him too, but he was badly injured and Swansea fucking killed him! I had to shoot Swansea in self-defense because he wanted to kill both of us. He tied you up and wanted to kill me because he wanted the cryogen pod all to himself! That was his plan all along! He wanted to leave all of us for dead." His excuses only made me hate him more.

Anya killing herself because of an episode? Swansea killing Daisuke because there was no hope? Him shooting Swansea in self-defense? His story had shitty plot holes, and even I could see that with the two minutes I had to look around.

"..." I stayed quiet, just staring at him in disbelief that he could make up such a statement. How many excuses and lies did he tell me while we were dating?

"... Baby, please-"

"Don't call me that." I hissed, cutting him off mid-sentence, I didn't want to hear any more excuses, any more pleas, nothing. "I'm done." He stared at me in confusion, but I could see his usual irritation growing.

"Done with what?" He hissed back, voice lower, brows knitting together in irritation.

"I'm done with you." I grumbled. I watched him as his grip on the gun got tighter. "I'm done with dealing with your temper tantrums, I'm done with being patient, I'm done with listening to your every order, and I'm done with your cheating."

"Cheating? What are you talking about-"

"I don't want to listen to your annoying voice anymore, Jimmy. I have tried time and time again to ignore your flaws, I tried to see the best in you, but I can't anymore." My heart was beating in my ears. From fear? From anger? I couldn't tell. "All this time while I was on the Tulpar- No, while I've been dating you, you have shown that you don't care about me, and I don't even know why I decided to stay with you for this long."

I could hear his angered breathing even from this far away, which made my fears worsen, but at this point I'd rather be shot than survive.

"Shoot me. I'd rather be dead than carry the burden that I chose to be with you." I mumbled, my voice quieter now as I gave him a challenging look.

The two of us were consumed by silence once more, the sparks of faulty wiring and his intense breathing giving me a sense of anticipation.

I watched him as he raised the gun, a look that I could only describe as disappointment resting on his face.

"You don't understand." He grumbled, the gun aimed at my head. I only glared at him, daring him to pull the trigger. "And I know you never will."

With that, I watched him pull the trigger the last thing I heard was a loud bang before my body hit the floor.

[meyerlansky]

he's so disgusting

he didn't even catch it

[uglypastels]

thought of this cute concept! Where you have to get a bridesmaid dress and Tom comes with you and the worker thinks you came to try on wedding dresses and toms like 👀👀👀 try some on. And you do and toms really acting like it’s a say yes to the dress episode and making up a whole fake scenario about you two getting married 😂

This is such a fucking cuute ideaaa. i love it. for real, like i don’t ever really see myself getting marries but whenever i flip the channel to TLC and say yes to the dress is on I get so emotional because yesss i also wanna be a pretty princessss  _______________________________________

You had felt honoured when one of your friends has asked you to be one of the bridesmaids but with that came that you had to wear a bridesmaid dress at the ceremony. Your friend had always wanted a big traditional wedding, and you got that, but why she wanted to continue the tradition of disgusting bridesmaid dresses, you never understood. The dress design she had chosen was bright big and frilly, everything that you hated, basically. So, when you learned that you had to go to the store yourself to pick it up, something in you struck a cord of humiliation. 

You could not go in there alone. 

Fortunately, your best friend Tom sacrificed himself to tag along with you. That made it already slightly better, Tom always knew how to make a bad situation better. The two of you always had fun. It would be alright. 

So you walked into the store. Tom had his arm around your shoulder. The second you walked in it was as if you had been punched in the face with chiffon and organza. And it was all so. white. You looked over at Tom but he just winked. 

“Good morning,” a woman behind the counter said, “How can I help you?” 

“I’m here to pick up a bridesmaid dress, should be under the name y/n?” You told her, still looking around at the racks of dresses. You had no idea where one started and the other ended. It was one big cloud of material and rhinestones.

“Let me take a look in the back, make yourself comfortable, this might take a while,” she smiled before leaving through the door. Not really sure what to do, Tom sat down in a chair and you looked through the dresses. You had never been a fan of them, but there was something about the wedding dress that made you melt a bit. Carefully, you pushed the hangers to the side, one by one. Each piece looked beautiful. 

“Looking for one yourself?” The clerk had come back, and you startled your way around to look at her. She had come back and was holding a large black garment bag. At least you didn’t have to walk around the city with it being visible. 

“Oh, huh-” 

“Yes, she is!” Tom stood up. You looked over at him, confused. He made his way over to you. “She’s been putting it off forever. I’ve tried to tell her that she should do it before it’s too late. Of course, I think she’d look amazing in whatever she wore, but I want my girl to look and feel like a queen.” He ended his little theatrics with a kiss on your cheek. You kept looking like a deer in the headlights at him, having no idea what he was talking about, stunned at how he had called you his girl. The woman, however, was smiling and looked as if she was about to cry. 

“Well then, would you like to try some on?” she asked hopefully. 

“Don’t we need an appointment?” You asked. 

“Usually yes, but today business has been a bit slow, as you can see.” The woman, who’s name tag you could now read to be saying “Layla”, pointed around the shopping space. 

“I don’t think we got the money on us to-” you tried to stop this but Tom was having none of it. 

“Pish posh, darling. I’ll pay.” 

“Walk in’s only pay the cost of the champagne and cake if you’d like some,” Layla smiled. “and any damage to the dresses, if it happens.” 

“Have people sat on the cake?” Tom asked curiously. 

“It has happened. It would only be a dry-cleaning or repair fee, not the full price, of course, but anyway, shall we get started?” Layla looked at you excitedly. It was nice to know she was actually enthusiastic about her job. You nervously looked over at Tom, who was just nudging you to go with it. 

“Alright then,” you gave in. 

The next moment, Layla took out a very generous slice of red velvet cake for Tom and a glass of champagne, which he more than enjoyed while you got changed into a dress. You were taken to a little room in the back and waited for Layla to bring you a few dresses to choose from. Since you had no idea what you would like in a dress, you let her pick whatever and you’d go from there. 

“Alright, so I picked out a bit of everything. We got an A-line, mermaid, ballgown.” Now, you had watched a few episodes of Say Yes to the Dress so you knew the basics of the terms, but it still felt very intimidating to have it in front of you. 

“Let’s go with the mermaid?” you said a bit unsure. Layla nodded at your choice and helped you get dressed in it. There was no mirror in the room so you had to go out to the main space to see yourself. It was a bit of a hassle to walk in it, especially in the borrowed heels that the store provided, but you got there. When you walked in, Tom had looked up and the cake he was eating almost fell out of his mouth as he stared. 

“Holy shit,” he choked out. He kept looking at you in this awe as you made your way to the pedestal in front of the mirrors. Now you could finally look at yourself. You gasped at what you saw.

The dress was gorgeous and elegant, with more lace than rhinestones covering it. The shape of it fitted your shape perfectly (with the help of some clippers in the back, of course, to adjust to your size). The straps were the off the shoulder kind, hanging on loosely on your arms. The train fell smoothly down and followed your every move and turn, like your own waves of organza sea at your feet. Layla walked up to you and pinned in a veiled tiara in your hair for the full effect. 

You could see Tom in your reflection, and you saw how he was trying to hold in his tears. You turned to face him. 

“What do we think?” 

“It’s gorgeous.” He said, “You look fucking amazing- sorry,” he apologised to Layla for his language, but she didn’t seem to mind. He put the plate of cake down on the little table next to him and once again got up to make his way over to you. He took your hand and leaned in to kiss you. It was happening so suddenly that you forgot to panic and just let it happen, giving into it. His lips were so soft and tasted like cream cheese frosting, which made you giggle a bit. 

Tom pulled away, now looking a bit sour. “I’m just not really sure about the veil, do you have another one maybe?” He asked. Layla said she’d go look in the back and disappeared, giving the two of you a moment of privacy. 

“What the hell is going on,” you said in disbelief at what just happened. You had just kissed Tom!? Your childhood best friend Tom?! Or actually, he had kissed you?! 

“Well, it feels a bit backward but I was hoping if I could take you out sometime? Like, on a date?” 

“I’d love to,” you said. He pulled you in for another soft kiss. You pulled away right at the same time as Layla walked back into the room with another veil. 

“So are you saying yes to dress, hun?” she asked. You looked over at Tom. His wink made you roll your eyes. 

“Actually, I think we’ll have to wait a bit on that.” 

[winchester-purgatory]

Fake marriage, snobby mother and booty calls | Dean Winchester x OC

Summary: Awsten’ sister tells their parents she’s married - she isn’t. Dean accepts to play along when her parents comes to visit for dinner

Word count: 1670

Notes: I wrote this for the Christmas bingo I participated back in December but only now got to finish it

-

Dean Winchester wasn't husband material. He liked old cars, 80s rock music, had a bit of a drinking problem and had been in jail. He hated to wear ties, being more of a flannel kind of guy, and always had oil or grease stained hands from fixing cars.

Her mom was going to hate him.

He was also a bit of a ladies man, but that part didn't need to be mentioned at the Christmas gathering.

''Are you sure this is a good idea?’’

''You gotta be there,'' Awsten insisted, looking at Dean over the island countertop where they were having breakfast. ''My sister already told everyone I was married. I would be the family’s laughingstock if I they show up for dinner and there is no man in my apartment after such a big news.''

''I still don't get why you couldn't tell them it was a misunderstanding. Why make things complicated when they were initially simple?''

''Because they're from another generation and won't understand. They won't find it funny that we played the 'just married' card to get free alcohol. Or that we only hook up on the daily.'' The redhead sighed, taking a sip of her hot coffee. ''If Charlie hadn't tagged us on social media, my sister would've never seen the picture and caption...''

Dean reached out, squeezing Awsten’s bare thigh on the bar stool, and looked at her with apologetic eyes. ''Charlie’s really sorry. She didn’t think the picture would get to your family.''

''I know. It’s okay. I made my peace with it. Now, we just have to play pretend.'' She stood, taking her empty plate and putting it in the sink to wash later.

Today was going to be a long day and Awsten was dreading all of it. Having her parents and sister over for Christmas wasn’t part of her December plans. For the last two years, she had escaped the family reunions and had intended to do it again this year. She didn't hate her family, they were just so strict, judgemental and draining to be around.

She'd rather rent a cabin in the mountains with a couple friends - Charlie and Dean included. At least, that promised a lot of fun.

Dean joined her by the sink, doing the same with his dishes.

''Thank you for doing this, Dean.''

As insane as the situation was, Awsten was glad to have someone like Dean. Not everyone would have agreed to partake in her crazy plan and play married couple for the holidays, even for one night. And, he will definitely add some spice to her family's Christmas dinner.

''It was my idea in the first place to get the alcohol. And, I wasn’t going to say no to free turkey.''

Awsten scoffed. ''The turkey might be free, but you are helping me. I’m not gonna do all the hard work by myself, Winchester.''

''I would try to eclipse myself, but since you did most of the work last night, I guess I could help you for today,'' he said as he slid a hand under Awsten's tee shirt to cup one of her cheeks and gave it a small squeeze.

.

After six hours of chopping, whisking and seasoning, the faux-married couple were finally ready to receive Awsten’s family.

The redhead has put a red tablecloth to mask the chips on the wooden table, something that would've definitely not gone unnoticed by her mother, and pulled out the pretty candle set she had received three Christmases ago to decorate the center.

Dean lit up the Christmas tree filled with miscandellous, non-traditional ornaments and hoped no one would point out the missing Christmas crib under the tree. It was somewhere in the storage closet and Awsten didn't feel like fetching it.

As they were setting the table, Dean caught the silver ring on the redhead’s finger. ''Just so you know, I would've never offered you this cheap ass looking ring. My wife deserves something better than a plastic rock.''

Awsten narrowed her eyes. ''I did with what I had and with the time I had, Dean! I couldn't get myself a real wedding ring. Diamonds are hella expensive.''

''You didn’t even get me one.''

''I forgot. But, knowing my family, they won't even notice. They'll be too occupied looking elsewhere,'' she promised.

''You mean my charming smile?''

She glanced at his flannel and stubbles, both red flags in her mother's book. ''Among others.''

It was around six o’clock when the doorbell rang. Awsten smoothed her velvet dress and checked her lipstick in the hallway mirror before opening the door.

''How can you get married and not tell us? I didn't raise you like this,'' her mom asked, skipping the greetings and walking in like it was her own place.

Awsten contained herself, forcing a smile. ''Hello to you too, Mom…''

Richard and Emilie, Awsten’s dad and sister, followed inside, shutting the door behind. They shed peeled off their winter layers and hung them on the overflowing coat hanger.

The elder woman peered into the apartment, looking for the handsome man her daughter had married. ''Now, where is that husband of yours? We didn't make all that travel for nothing.''

''I’m right here, Mrs. Torres,'' Dean replied, coming to the entrance to greet the guests. He kissed both her mom and sister’s cheeks and shook hands with Richard, his politeness surprising the Torres.

Although he had succeeded to impress her with his politeness, Dean didn't earn Cecelia's approval. She gave him an up and down look, disapproval casting itself on her face almost immediately.

''Shall we move to the kitchen? Dinner is ready.''

.

''What's your career, Dean?'' Cecelia asked, attacking him with questions as soon as they sat down around the table.

The redhead gave her mother a dirty look, knowing exactly what she was doing. To most, it looked like Cecelia was being nice and trying to get to know Dean, but she was being a snake and trying to find valid reasons to not like Dean to back herself with when she’ll later confront Awsten.

Dean swallowed his bite before responding. ‘’I'm a mecanicien, ma'am. I work at my uncle's auto-shop.''

''Ah.'' She glanced at her cadet daughter and back to Dean, disapproval in her eyes. ''Are you planning on taking over the business?''

''I love cars, but owning an auto-shop isn’t in my plans for the future.''

''What is, then?''

''Owning a bar. Commercializing my own beer...or whiskey, perhaps. Something along those lines.''

''I assume you are studying business?'' Mr. Torres asked, suddenly taking interest in the conversation, owning himself a business.

Dean shook his head. ''No. I’m not in college, Sir. College isn’t for me.''

''How did you meet?''

''Was it like the movies? Your car broke and he repaired it?'' Emilie asked with a snicker, making fun of her sister.

Awsten glared at her. ''No. We met through Charlie, my roommate. You remember her? She and Dean are long date friends.''

As the dinner progressed, Cecelia’s disdain toward Dean was getting more and more apparent - and she made little efforts to hide her feelings.

''If you'll excuse us, I need a drink. Awsten, darling, will you come help me in the kitchen?'' She flashed Dean a forced, bitter smile and stood, heading to the kitchen for some privacy.

.

''You don't like him.'' taking a glass out of the cabinet to

''With reasons! Have you seen this guy? I don't know what you find in him. He looks like...a lumberjack. You are worth so much more than him, Awsten. Guys like him don't go far in life,'' she said in true Cecelia Torres fashion, always quick to judge others.

''Well, we're already married, Mom. What can you do?''

''Is this why you got married in secret? Because you knew we wouldn't approve.''

An unsurprised laugh left the redhead's lips. ''Of course you would think that… Yes, Mom, I married a guy solely to spite you.'' Awsten poured the strong alcohol in the glass, the amber liquid gliding over the baby Yoda shaped ice cubes. ''Is it so difficult for you to believe that I love Dean? Just because I was raised in high society doesn't mean I wish to follow that kind of life.''

Cecelia huffed. ''You say that now, but you'll change your mind.''

''I doubt it.''

''Did he...force you into this? Marrying him.''

Awsten's eyes widened. She couldn't believe the words that left her mother's mouth. ''I'm leaving. You're being crazy.'' She took the drink she had prepared for her mother and left the kitchen, needing it.

''What about my drink?''

.

''Congratulation, Mom hates you. You’re everything she didn’t want for me.''

''Aw, damn,'' Dean said with sarcasm, helping Awsten clean up. ''I thought I had made a good impression.''

The redhead bit back a smile. ''I’m sorry for how she behaved toward you. For the way she talked about you. She’s insufferable sometimes.''

Dean shook his head. ''Don't apologize for her. I don't care what she says about me.'' He brought the leftovers to the fridge, trying to control his grin at the thought of stealing a tupperware of turkey for his lunch tomorrow. ''And it's not like we really are married - not that I'd care more then.''

''Now you get why I never visit my family. They're all similar variants of my mother.''

''They say family wants the best for you, but it's not always the case. I've stopped caring about others' opinion of me long ago. I can take a snobby mother who believes I forced her daughter into marrying me.''

Awsten stopped washing the plate, her stomach dropping. ''Oh no... You heard that?''

Out of all the disgusting things her mother had said tonight, this took the crown. Awsten had hoped Dean hadn't heard, but the kitchen wasn't very soundproof.

She opened her mouth to apologize once again, but Dean beat her.

''Don't say it.'' He turned around to face the redhead, eyes soft on her. ''She can assume whatever she want of me, but I'm still your main booty call,'' Dean added with a smirk.

''Dean!'' She hit his shoulder at his crude words, holding back a smile.

He shrugged and continued what he was doing.

[storiesforallfandoms]

sacred ~ mark;midsommar

word count: 1343

request?: yes!

“Mark from Midsommar imagine where reader stops Mark from peeing on the ancestral tree to make sure they won't kill him?”

description: when she stops him from making a bad decision, she doesn’t realize she’s saving his life

pairing: mark x female!reader

warnings: swearing

masterlist

I was starting to regret tagging along on the Sweden trip with my best friend, Connie, and her fiancé, Simon. Don’t get me wrong, I love Connie to pieces, and Simon was nice enough but watching them being all lovey dovey while my single self was left alone to wander the creepy village had gotten old really quick.

“You just need to make friends,” Connie had told me our first night there. “You won’t feel as awkward or lonely as you do if you had someone else to talk to.”

“You know I’m bad at making friends,” I reminded her. “And the villagers don’t exactly seem...like the friendly type.”

“You’ll manage, don’t worry.” Then she had gone to find Simon yet again.

To make things worse, the two of them had suddenly disappeared and apparently none of the locals knew where they were. My guess was they were probably sight seeing, or they skipped town all together and forgot all about me, which was disheartening but it had happened a few times since Connie and Simon met, so I wasn’t too shocked.

The other visitors, a group of American friends, weren’t exactly trying to be friendly either, which made things all the more awkward.

One morning, after we had eaten and were helping some of the villagers with some work, I noticed one of the American visitors sneaking off behind a pick up truck. I was a little curious, being bored off my head with no friends, so I decided to go investigate.

I rounded the corner, expecting to see him with a joint or something else that wasn’t allowed in his hand, but was both shocked and disgusted to see him with his pants pulled down to his thighs. I exclaimed in disgust before I could help myself and turned away.

“What the fuck!” he exclaimed as he pulled his pants back up.

“You cannot what the fuck me when you are peeing in public!” I snapped. “Go to a fucking bathroom!”

“The only bathrooms are in the huts where we stay, and I really had to go. But if it offends you so much, I’ll walk all the way to the hut to pee.”

He glared at me as he walked past. I rolled my eyes at him and turned to walk away. I jumped upon seeing one of the villagers having been watching us.

“Thank you,” he said, approaching me. I had to stop myself from taking a step back. “This tree is our sacred, ancestral tree. We do not take too kindly to people who disrespect the tree.”

His face was so serious it scared me. I tried my best to smile and muttered a quick, “Yeah, no problem” before quickly scurrying off.

Apparently, stopping someone from peeing on a sacred tree gave me a free pass from having to help for the rest of the day, so I found myself sitting alone in the grass, watching some kids running around and playing. I heard someone approaching, but didn’t think anything of it until someone sat next to me and a familiar voice said, “Hey.”

I looked up to see the guy from earlier, and automatically cringed remembering how I found him earlier.

“Look, I’m sorry,” he said. “You were right for telling me to find a bathroom to pee in instead of just going right out in the open. The people here are psycho, who knows how they’d react to me peeing on a tree.”

“A sacred tree,” I informed him. “One of the people told me afterwards that the tree is ancestral or something. Apparently they don’t like it when you pee on their sacred trees.”

“How can a tree be sacred? That’s stupid.”

“So are a lot of things that are sacred to religious people.”

“Touché.” He extended a hand to me. “My name is Mark, by the way.”

“(Y/N). Nice to properly meet you.”

“Yeah, it’s way nicer to get to meet you when my dick isn’t out.”

I felt my face heat up with blush, but I tried to play it off. “The way you’ve been acting with all the girls here, I have a feeling I’m not the first to meet you when your dick is out.”

“Ah, so you’ve been watching me then.”

I shrugged. “Call it boredom with nothing else to do. I’d rather not watch the people around here, they give me the creeps.”

“I feel you on that one. What happened to your friends? Weren’t you here with that British couple that’s friends with Pelle’s brother?”

I nodded. “I was, but they vanished. Probably left and didn’t tell me. I don't even have my phone to be able to text them or call them, and it’s like this place doesn’t even know what technology is. There’s no phones or computers anywhere. They’re totally off the grid. Isn’t that scary to you?”

Mark nodded, leaning back on his hands. “It’s really scary. This place is just sketchy all over. If I had known this was what it’d be like, I would never have come. My friend, Pelle, he convinced the lot of us to come. He said this Midsommar festival or whatever is huge here and it’s not something to miss. He didn’t mention that his hometown is full of weirdo cult people.”

“That’s exactly what Ingemar told us! He said it was a must go to event or something! So far, I don’t see what’s so great about it. I watched an elderly couple die, been abandoned by my best friend and her fiancé, and had to have some creepy guy get up in my face telling me about sacred trees.”

Mark laughed. “Yeah, it’s weird all over. How long do you think the festival lasts? Pelle didn’t give us a timeline, just told us we’d be here a while.”

I shrugged. “No idea, Ingemar didn’t say anything either. I’m hoping it ends soon so I can get to my phone and give Connie a piece of my mind.”

Mark and I talked for some time then. Neither one of us noticed the sun shifting places, eventually starting to set, or that the children I had once been watching had long stopped playing and were replaced by busy villagers prepping for dinner. We talked so long we both ended up laying down as our backs and arms were getting tired from sitting up.

My hand was shielding my eyes from the sun that was still high in the sky when a shadow came over the two of us. I looked up, expecting to see one of the villagers, but was happy to see it was just one of Mark’s friends instead.

“I’ve been looking for you everywhere, man. Where’d you run off to?” he asked Mark, almost completely ignoring me.

“Went to pee, then did some work and came here,” Mark responded with a shrug. “This is (Y/N), by the way. (Y/N), this is my friend, Christian.”

Christian merely nodded at me so I waved in response.

“Well come on, man, dinner is about to start.”

Mark stood and turned to me, offering me a hand. He pulled me to my feet as Christian turned and started walking away.

“Very friendly,” I noted.

“Relationship issues,” Mark responded, waving away my comment. “You wanna sit next to me at dinner if possible? I’d love to hang out more, especially since I officially have no competition with your friends being MIA.”

I giggled. “You know what? I’d love that.”

“Alright, well come along then, let’s get going.”

Mark threw an arm over my shoulder and I felt my heart start to beat much faster. We walked in silence, although I wasn’t sure if I’d be able to speak. I was so giddy with excitement that I also felt speechless.

Man, I thought to myself, Connie is going to be so impressed when I tell her I made friends with a cute American boy. After I give her a piece of my mind for ditching me, of course.

[peaceoutofthepieces]

chapter 15.5

When I Live My Dream (Please Be There To Meet Me)

song for the chapter: in my head - peter manos

To go along with chapter 15! This scene feels more important to the storyline than the Sobbe one, but probably still not absolutely necessary? (But please, read it 🙏🏻). The temptation to write a full length VDS fic is so fucking strong but for now at least, take this ☺️

Lucas finds Jens at the skate park. Of course.

It’s more difficult than he expects, because Jens isn’t skating with his friends or even skating by himself. Lucas has to avoid all the dips and ramps and other people zooming past him, dangerously close, to find the shelter Jens has taken refuge in. It takes him longer than he expected, due to the fact it could barely be considered part of the skate park, as tucked away and inconspicuous as it is. Jens is sat at the back, arms resting lazily on his raised knees, head tipped back against the metal wall and cushioned by his hood.

He lifts it when Lucas steps towards him, and it’s only then that Lucas notices how tired he looks. He musters a small smile and flicks his hand in a wave. Lucas moves to sit down next to him, pulling down Jens’s hood to ruffle his hair on the way. Jens pulls a face and huffs at him, but Lucas catches that slight uptick at the corners of his mouth. He gets settled down and mimics Jens’s position, only with his arms crossed. The rest of the skate park is mostly hidden from here, but there is a nice view of the rest of the city.

There’s nothing but silence from Jens until he releases a heavy sigh, and Lucas rests his head against his arms so he can look at him. “Your silence is a little concerning,” Lucas admits.

Jens only sighs again. “Sorry. I should be letting you have more fun than this. You probably didn’t come the whole way out here just for this.”

Lucas shrugs. “It’s really not that far. I probably would’ve come here anyway. You’re just like, a minor inconvenience.” Jens shoves him and he laughs, teetering dangerously to the side before Jens grabs him and pulls him back into place. Lucas doesn’t know if it’s only his imagination, but he thinks they’re a little closer than before. He bites his lip before saying, “It was either stay at home with the possibility of murdering my dad, or come to you. It wasn’t a hard decision.”

That earns a faint smile. Jens mirrors his position, now, and asks, “Is he really that bad?”

Lucas only shrugs. His parents in general are a topic he mostly works to avoid. Most of his friends back home know the story, more out of necessity or the fact it was impossible to hide rather than Lucas’s desire to tell them. He told himself one of the good things about coming here was that that could be different. He just wasn’t expecting Jens.

He was of course aware there would probably be numerous new crushes available, sure Antwerp wasn’t lacking in pretty boys. He just didn’t expect one to befriend him out of nowhere.

He certainly didn’t expect the crush to begin morphing into actual feelings, the kind he’s only ever harboured for Kes before now.

It’s the only explanation for why he says, “Probably not as bad as I make him sound. He was always an okay dad, but he ended up being a shitty husband and then seemed to decide the two titles went hand in hand. He ditched my mom and dragged me to another country with him because it was decided she couldn’t take care of me and I couldn’t take care of myself. It didn’t matter that a bunch of my friends offered to let me stay with them, or that I didn’t want to leave. Everything that’s happened in the past year just made me angry at him and now we can’t speak without me screaming at him and him dismissing or ignoring me. Or occasionally screaming back.”

He gives a wry smile and another shrug to go along with that, surprised at the relief that runs through him when Jens just nods in understanding. “Robbe went through something similar. He got into a flatshare, though, and I think he’s actual had a couple of civil meetings with his dad recently.”

Lucas’s smile turns a little more genuine. “Is that you telling me ‘it gets better’?”

Jens shrugs. “If that’s what you want to hear. Otherwise I can just tell you parents fucking suck and curse him to hell and back with you. But I’d rather not, because I know you hate it, but he brought you here. So.”

Lucas’s heart stutters in his chest. Jens says it much too casually, but he’s looking away again now, picking at a thread on his jeans before rubbing his hand over his knee. He only turns back at Lucas’s intake of breath, looking at him through his lashes. Lucas is disgusted at the amount of power this boy has over him already. He hates how weak it makes him feel, how untethered he is from everything but the warmth filling his chest. He’s falling hard and fast for a guy that will never return his feelings. For a guy that kissed his ex-girlfriend, well within Lucas’s sight, just two days ago. He’s ridiculous to think he has a chance. Idiotic. Completely mad.

It’s just that it’s hard to fully remember that when Jens looks at him like this.

His heart doesn’t really know how to deal with it at the moment, so he grins again. “So I should really feel lucky, because I’m just blessed to know you?”

Then Jens is grinning back at him, comfortable with the more familiar tone of their usual back and forth. “Obviously. Just imagine now, going back in time and having a choice. You couldn’t live without me.”

Lucas scoffs, because he’s right.

“Not that I’m against it, but why exactly are you hiding here?” Lucas questions after a moment, antsy with the way Jens is still looking at him and the length of the silence.

“I’m not hiding,” Jens denies. “The others were here earlier, and I didn’t feel like leaving yet. Decided to wait around so I could hang out with this pretty Belgian guy.”

Lucas narrows his eyes at him. “You know I’m not from here.”

Jens blinks. “Oh, you thought I was talking about you? No, no, this was supposed to be my alone time. I enjoy my own company.”

Lucas gawks, then punches him in the arm, though he’s unable to hide his amusement. Any and all joy from Jens is infectious, but there’s nothing Lucas adores quite like this genuine laughter, the quiet giggles that don’t seem entirely in his control. Then Jens strokes his hand dramatically down Lucas’s face, says, “No, of course it’s you, darling,” and Lucas stops working.

He manages to half-heartedly swat Jens’s hand away, about five seconds too late, and Jens just continues to laugh quietly at him. Lucas slumps against the back of the shelter, resting his head against the cool ridges, and watches Jens resume his earlier position, head pillowed on his arms and gazing back at Lucas with an unfair amount of fondness.

“I’m glad you’re not mad at me,” Jens says quietly. “I missed you yesterday.”

Lucas smiles. “I’m sorry I didn’t reply to you. I think I was a little mad, until a while ago. I got pretty used to Kes ditching me for his girlfriend, and it sucked, and I had other friends then. You’re kind of all I’ve got here. When it was just us beforehand I kinda forgot it wasn’t the same for you.”

Jens closes his eyes, shaking his head slightly. He blows out a breath and refocuses his gaze somewhere around Lucas’s chest. “Jana’s a bad habit I haven’t learned to quit yet. That’s the first and last time I crossed that line since we broke up. It would’ve been much better for me to stay with you. You’re good for me.”

Lucas raises a brow and feels that ridiculous flutter again. “Yeah?” Jens hums, nodding. Lucas doesn’t know why he says, “Why didn’t you, then? Stay with me, I mean.”

Jens licks his lips and Lucas can’t be blamed for how his attention is immediately drawn to his mouth. “Because I’m stupid. And I was scared. That I was getting stupid and I’d fuck things up with you, or you would get sick of me. My friends are pretty much limited to Jana and the boys, and it’s not like I can just hang out with Jana anymore. We tried at first but it—I think I needed a little more time than I gave myself then. Robbe’s busy with his new boyfriend, which I don’t begrudge him, because he deserves it and the guy’s hot. It’s fine with Moyo and Aaron, but they’re their own little duo, and I’m kinda sick of listening to them talk about all the girls they’re gonna hook up with but never do. I’m kinda sick of just. Being there.”

Lucas’s heart aches, and he hates himself a little. “Always the bridesmaid, never the bride.”

Jens huffs, smiling again. “Basically.”

Lucas gives him a sympathetic smile. This silence feels both comfortable and charged, and Lucas lets it linger a little longer before saying, “I’m kinda glad you’re stupid.” Jens raises his brows. “You probably never would’ve accidentally tagged me in that comment otherwise. Then I’d still be the weird loner new kid and that’d just be depressing.”

“Well, you’re kind of still the weird new kid. Just less of a loner.” Lucas rolls his eyes, but rewards him with the bit-down beginnings of a laugh. Jens’s voice is uncharacteristically soft when he adds, “I’m glad I was stupid, too. But I don’t think it matters that much.” Lucas furrows his brow at him, and he finishes, “I was always going to find you.”

That’s when the rain starts. Jens glances out of the shelter at the sound, which quickly grows deafening. He looks back at Lucas with an expression that can only mean ‘oops’. They’re stuck here for a while.

Lucas’s heart speeds up in that adrenaline fueled way that lets him know he’s about to do something very, very stupid. He gazes back at Jens, and he can’t manage more than a whisper to say, “Your ex was right.” Jens looks half-confused, half-hurt before Lucas says, “You are a very bad idea, Jens Stoffels.”

Then he kisses him.

He’s gratified when Jens doesn’t freeze, but responds instantly. His hands grasp Lucas’s shoulders before moving to cup his neck, dragging him closer. The hunger in his kiss matches Lucas’s, touch for touch, and Lucas finally allows himself to bury his hand in Jens’s hair and lick into his mouth.

The fact that he’s kissing a boy is pushed aside by the fact that he’s kissing Jens. It’s at least ten times more mind-blowing.

Jens is giving as good as he gets, clearly practiced in what they’re doing, and it sends a jolt down Lucas’s spine every time he tangles their tongues together and nips at his bottom lip. Jens’s hands don’t go far, settling against his neck or along his jaw or in his hair, but Lucas can’t stop his from roaming. They move from Jens’s hair to his face to his waist and back again, as hungry as his mouth and unable to get their fill. It’s more than he’s ever had and it still doesn’t feel like enough. It doesn’t satisfy the tug pulling at his stomach or fill the gaping well in his chest, desperate for this feeling he’s never been given enough of. His heart hurts with how much he wants it and with how real that want is. He can’t imagine ever having enough. He can’t imagine ever telling himself he doesn’t want this.

With how the boy is currently kissing him, Lucas feels like he’s never wanted anything as much as he wants Jens. He has the startling realisation that Kes is nothing but a fleeting thought in his mind. Right now, he can’t fathom wanting to be anywhere other than right where he is.

He’s suddenly giddy with it, grinning too much to really keep kissing properly, but Jens continues to press his lips to his, unrelenting even as his own grin spreads to match it. That laugh that Lucas adores bubbles out suddenly, and it only makes Lucas have to kiss him again. It really becomes impossible, then, so Lucas goes to pepper kisses over Jens’s face at the same time as Jens moves to kiss along his jaw, and they fall into a full fit of laughter, Jens collapsing into Lucas’s chest with his face scrunched up adorably. Lucas winds his arms around him and laughs into his hair, heart stuttering when Jens sneaks a kiss to his collarbone. Lucas tightens his arms around him and presses one to his hair.

Once they’ve calmed down, Jens shifts until they’re on the same level again. He turns towards Lucas and presses his forehead to Lucas’s before saying, “Fuck, you’re beautiful.” Lucas feels like he might burst.

This time, Jens kisses him.

[fics-not-tragedies]

Reckless Serenade [2]

The writing process of this one is quite tricky, because I’m trying to live it up to @cyberpvnkss expectations, since it was her request. I’m trying my best!

Words: 1781; Warnings: more drinking, don’t drown your sorrows in liquor folks; Summary: On another night you go back to Santino’s club hoping you’d see him again.

Readers tag list:

@spookier-than-u; @oreofenyloetyloamina; @derangedcupcake; @geostarr; @catsmieow; @wickedlangdon; @bodhi-black; @bugalouie; @onebatch--twobatch; @fandom-lover-4; @mikaneonox; @drunkonyellow; @spadesandaces2342; @harrisongslimited; @hhighkey; @lunilate; @i-cant-remember-my-old-login; @sgt-morgan; @coloursunlimited; @childrenofthegun; @weminiaturestrawberry; @silverlambcaptain; @scarletmoon83; @howtoruin-someones-perfect-day; @krazycags01; @charlottebonnie; @moonlit-raven-haven; @girl-at-the-verge; @boopdedoop; @jardani-jovonovich-bitch; @ladyreapermc; @wifeofdarklordsworld; @mysticfluffyness; @zombiepandajfish; @kollover24; @greenmanalishi; @persephonehemingway; @lovelycarose; @jinchanyeolstolemysoul; @penwieldingdreamer; @iworshipkeanureeves; @lovelycarose; @rdjloverxxx; @allanawinchester; @marytvirgin​;

“Hey, there…” you heard someone say but you would have known someone was there simply from the feeling you’d gotten, the one that came when someone was far too close to you and you could just sense them invading your personal bubble.

You opened your eyes again and looked up at a tall guy with broad shoulders, short blonde hair and a grin on his face that gave away that he’d selected you to come over to because you’d been stumbling through the pub. You were drunk, but not drunk enough to not see right through the motives of a random guy on a Saturday night.

“B-Bye there…” you mumbled, clearing your throat when you realized it was sore from your whisky. You downed the remaining contents of the glass before attempting to get back to the bar. That moment, a hand closed around your wrist.

“Wait, don’t you wanna chat?”

“Mmm, no, I should actually get going…” you drawled, “Sorry.”

“Bullshit, come on. You’re all alone here. Don’t you want company? Come sit with me…” he said, pulling you into the direction of the table he’d probably come from, sitting down and attempting to pull you into his lap.

“No, fucking let me go!” You tore your arm from his grip, stepping back, just about to properly cuss him out as he stood back up to come towards you, when someone stepped between you.

“Did you not hear the lady speaking? Leave her alone.”

Your eyes widened and you bit your lip. It was the owner of this place. Coming to your rescue.

“And who are you then, playing knight in shining armor?” The other guy called.

Knight in shining armor, yes. Figuratively speaking, at least. He was playing that role very damn well. But he was wearing a black evening suit, with a black silk vest peeking out from under the opened jacket, along with a black shirt and a black tie, so he looked more like a dark knight actually. Which admittedly was also pretty cool.

“I’m just delicately suggesting that you should leave this place” he said, turning around to you.

“And who you are to tell me what should I do?” The other guy raised his voice and Santino looked back at him.

“The one you shouldn’t talk to in that tone of yours…” he looked up at the man, his eyes scanning his face. Santino’s both eyebrows were raised in question, like he waited for the man to form a decent answer. He moved closer to him and somehow you became terrified that this situation will result in serious fight or even worse - in a shootout.

“Santino, please…” you gasped, rolling your eyes at him, “he’s not worth it.”

“He won’t be harassing women in my club.”

“This is your club?” The man cackled. When his fingers slid down the lapels of the man’s jacket you looked at Santino, your face full of confusion as he pushed the man against the wall.

“Yes, this is my club… pompinaro and you’re messing with the boss” Santino gestured with his head and two broad henchmen clad in all black suits appeared next to the man, their hands on his shoulders, “Get him the fuck out of here, e fate in fretta.”

You looked at him, speechless, rubbing your arm that was stinging a little as his henchmen dragged the man out of the club, the dancers and drinkers not paying attention to what was happening around them like it was the most usual thing to happen in here.

“Va bene, amore?” He asked, gesturing to your arm.

You swallowed. How did talking work again? “U-Um … va bene, yes…” you mumbled, mentally slapping yourself. Yeah, you had an accent but it wasn’t the same he had so what the hell were you doing?

He chuckled, leading you back into the direction of the bar, “I didn’t know creeps like him come here that often. I’m so sorry you encountered that… man” Santino said the last word with so much disgust that you somehow felt it too, “Let me make it up to you…” his hand caressed yours when you two sat by the bar, “The drinks are on the house tonight.”

You nodded, swallowing again, “T-Thank you…” you said, running your fingers through your hair nervously, “You saved me.” Before you could even begin to think of some way to attempt to flirt with him, you realized that you were probably not looking your best for that, “But … um … I could’ve … done it myself.”

Santino chuckled, “Yourself? Well I wanted to talk to you anyway, I just needed the right moment to do it, bella.”

“And that was the right moment in your opinion?” You were offered a glass of whisky and you took it from his hand, immediately taking a large gulp from it, “I haven’t seen you around and I thought that you didn’t come. Yet you decided to save me from another creep…”

“I had business meetings for half of the evening, bella…”

“Oh yes, I forgot you’re a businessman.”

“Yes, I am a man of many businesses…” he breathed out and you rolled your eyes at him as you moved up onto the bar stool.

The scent of his perfume, as well as a hint of smoke lingered in the air and you felt dizzy; he was too close, too much and it seemed like he wasn’t aware of the impact he had on you.

He’s quite a feast for the eyes tonight. His black suit draped smoothly around his tall frame. You met his eyes and felt something electric in the look that passed between you two.

“Bellissima, your gaze is so thick, it could cut a hole through the wall” he rasped, his words gently wrapped into the lace of his Italian accent that only made your knees even weaker. Those cherubic brown curls that kept falling into his forehead looked so soft, you just wanted to run your fingers through them, “The way you were looking at me bella, I’ve never seen anything more sinful in my entire life” he breathed, moving closer to you, standing between your legs.

“I’m far from sinful” you mumbled, feeling his fingers graze your bare knee, “May I get another?” Wiggling the glass in front of his face finally made him divert the attention from you to your finished drink, “Since you said they’re on the house…”

“Drinking to forget someone or something?” Santino asked, before waving over to the bartender that quickly moved closer and placed a whole bottle of whisky on the counter.

“Drinking to dull the pain” you said, before grabbing the bottle and pouring yourself a refill.

“What pain do a woman like you have to dull?” He gave you a surprised glance from the glass he’s holding in his hand, “You’re not trying to hide it at all” his eyebrow twitched and silently you took another sip from your drink.

“Too busy drowning my sorrows in liquor, I guess.”

“You come here often?” You heard the question coming from behind you. Being here all by yourself made you an easy target for annoying men trying to seduce you with their generic pick up lines into going home with them. Lonely bird is the easiest one to pick up. At least they thought that, but the truth was that you really felt lonely. You just simply don’t wanted another asshole you met at the pub.

Turning around you sent him an angry look, but it didn’t help. The guy that tried to hook up with you was tall and muscular, but the way he looked at you haven’t seemed intelligent at all. His eyes were empty and you should have been stupid not to see that he only wants to shag you.

“Yes I do come here often. And after I answered your question can you kindly fuck off now? Thank you!” You said sipping your drink, the surprised look appearing on his face not knowing that you’d fought back.

“A girl like you shouldn’t be sitting alone” he added, before leaning closer to you. With a gasp you moved with your stool backwards almost falling onto Santino.

“Do I look like I’m sitting alone?” You asked the man pointing to the Italian behind you.

“Pompinaro…” he mumbled and you felt his breath on your exposed neck, “You better get lost” Santino’s head peaked out from behind you and the man that was hitting on you inhaled the air sharply, before grabbing his drink and disappearing in the crowd.

“Looks like everyone fear you” spinning on the stool you moved to face him.

“Yet somehow you don’t, bella…” he brushed the stray lock of your hair behind your ear and you gasped, “And why’s that, hmm?”

“Because you remind me of my father” you blurted out, taking another sip from your glass.

“Oh…” Santino let out a little surprised gasp.

“Perhaps I have daddy issues” you shrugged refilling your half empty glass. Few tears slid down your cheeks without your knowledge.

“You shouldn’t be crying, bella” touching your face he wiped off what’s left of your tears.

“I just miss him, that’s all… at least you know why you see me here so often.”

“If there’s anything I could to do help you” he breathed out leaning closer to you, his delicate hand now on your neck.

“I could figure out few things…” you raised your eyebrow at him and the corners of his mouth curled upwards in a little smirk.

“Just name them, bella…” Santino was still staring, licking his lips from time to time. No matter that he was twice your age, no matter that he probably would treat you as an another one night adventure. You just didn’t fucking care. Maybe it was the alcohol you drank, making you do the bad thing, but the things your felt when he was so close to you were all that mattered now.

He discarded his jacket somewhere sitting in nothing more than his black suit pants and a black dress shirt with his sleeves rolled up and that damned tie neatly tied around his neck. You put your hand on his arm. Santino smiled widely at the feeling of your hand touching his body. The thought of his hands sliding onto your body was dancing around your mind. You wanted this and you wanted it very badly.

“Thinking about them?” He asked you, his fingers toying with the loose strand of your hair that just couldn’t stay tucked behind your ear.

“Thinking about things, but not actually doing them…” you breathed out.

“Possiamo cambiare le cose.”

[silverypurple-rosedlions]

𝐂𝐡𝐚𝐩𝐭𝐞𝐫 𝐔𝐧𝐥𝐨𝐜𝐤 : 𝐂𝐡𝐚𝐩𝐭𝐞𝐫 𝐓𝐰𝐨 - 𝐎𝐛𝐞𝐝𝐢𝐞𝐧𝐜𝐞 (𝐘𝐨𝐨𝐧 𝐉𝐞𝐨𝐧𝐠𝐡𝐚𝐧)

Yoon Jeonghan has authorized you access to Chapter One of Chapter Unlock, Yoon Jeonghan.

.

.

.

🥀//TW: This will contain abuse, blood, violence, and mild language. If you are uncomfortable with what is listed, do NOT read as this warning is for your safety. Only read at your own risk and be prepared for what will be mentioned within this chapter. This does not promote anything mentioned in this, and keep in mind that this is for entertainment purposes, and ONLY relates to the backstories made within THIS world The Purple Rose is in.//🥀

.

.

.

At one point in my life, I was obedient. I was a person that did as told, acting almost as if I were a robot given instructions, doing them according to the "system." But what would happen if I didn't obey? Of course, in return for not doing as told, I was scolded. That's what everyone goes through, am I right? That person reminds you of why it's essential, what its purpose is for you, or them. Or, they fix that "error" in that "system" you hold. As for me, I didn't want to be disobedient. I didn't want to be a person who disappointed others, appearing inadequate. However, I didn't always abide by the rules given to me. And because of that, I received a more extreme level of discipline for doing so. Not by friends or teachers, no. They saw something different. But it's no surprise that it was my parents. It's no surprise that my parents, neglectful and selfish, tainted by their disgusting pride, wanted the perfect "Angel" to use as a way to receive attention and praise, a way to degrade other children and parents of those kids... As long as I obeyed, they wouldn't lay a hand on me. As long as they were able to manipulate me, they gained their desires without a care in the world of who was in pain. They didn't even care if their son was suffering, not even if he was bleeding on the floor, crying for mercy on his poor soul.

I remember the day when it first started, the first sign of disobedience. It was a beautiful summer day, the grass was a luscious green, flowers scattered on the field, and children were running around. And there I was, the age of ten, sitting on a bench, waiting for my parents. I watched the other kids play, legs swinging, feeling lonely.

I stared at the kids, a soft pout on my lips as I watched them laugh and giggle, running together around the play structure. Their smiles were bright, the corners of their eyes crinkled as one chased the other, their arms outstretched in an attempt to grab the other. Maybe a friend, or perhaps they were siblings. I don't recall.

But I sat there, growing envious as they were together. Those kids had company, but I didn't. I didn't have a friend or sibling to play with while my parents were busy, only sitting there on the bench, shoulders sagging as I turned my head away. The only thought I had in my head was that they're lucky, and I wasn't. I was lonely, gently picking at the wood of the bench. Yet their laughter got louder, and I could hear them coming closer.

Curiously, I lifted my head, finding them whispering and giggling as they approached me. One was a girl, her hair pulled into a messy ponytail, and the other was a boy, his hair having a small stick tucked in. Both were nudging each other as they stood there in front of me, almost as if they were shy. But the girl took a step closer, pulling the boy beside her along.

"Hi, there!" She grinned, "Wanna come play with us?" She asked. But all I could do was freeze, my eyes going towards the building I had last seen my parents entered, shifting my gaze back to the two anxiously. "My name's-"

What was her name?

"And this is-"

I don't remember their names.

"I-I can't play... My parents won't let me play with anyone," I responded in a soft voice, fiddling with my fingers as I watched the two exchange glances between each other, then nodded before looking back to me.

"Don't worry! We'll play on the playground right there! They'll see you," The boy said, pointing towards the play structure they were on preciously.

I still didn't agree, but they didn't take no for an answer, taking me by the hand and guiding me to the structure. I was nervous, repeatedly looking towards the building my parents were in before I was distracted. I forgot what they had told me, running around with the boy and girl as we played a game called Tag. But it ended the minute I let my guard down, my mind going blank, my body freezing when I heard my mother let out a furious yell.

"Jeonghan!"

I was petrified, stopping in my tracks as I turned, a hand latching onto my wrist and a jerk. My father jerked my arm, pulling me away as I let out a cry of pain.

"Ow! Appa, it hurts!" I exclaim, but he didn't listen. He only growled back with rage.

"What did we tell you about wandering off and playing with those rats!"

"B-But Appa-"

"Don't but me, Jeonghan! We will not have our son play with low-lives,"

Low-lives? Is that what you call those less fortunate of luxury? Low-lives and rats?

They brought me into the car, pushing me inside as I tumbled onto the backseat, my mother sliding in looking exasperated.

"I can't believe you. Jeonghan. Disobeying us when we told you that it's bad to play with those kids!" She huffed as I crawled to the opposite side, bringing my knees to my chest.

"I'm sorry, Eomma... I'm sorry, Appa. I-I didn't mean to be bad,"

"Well, guess what? You did it anyway, and you were a bad boy for doing so," My father growled, starting the ignition as the car began to move. We were going home, home to the place that was too big and cold, and quiet, void of liveliness.

"And you know what kids get for being bad?" My mother questioned, making me shrink in fear.

"N-No..."

Slap!

It stings. It stings. It strings.

My eyes stung, tears rolling down my cheeks as I let out a wail of pain.

"Stop crying, Jeonghan! Boys don't cry!" My father shouted from the front as I sobbed, holding onto my swollen cheek that burned, pulsing. "How disappointing," He tsked. As I cried, I looked towards my mother, wishing she'd say sorry, hoping that she'd hug me, telling me that it was okay even when she was the one who did it, despite her leaving the burning mark on my cheek. But she didn't. She only stared at me with empty eyes, shaking her head with her lips pursed.

What am I to you? Why do you look at me as if I was nothing? Am I nothing to you? Tell me!

"This is what bad kids get when they don't listen to their parents, Jeonghan. The world isn't going to be nice, so you need to listen to what we say because this is for you."

Liars. You're liars.

"So right now, you need to suck it up and take it like a man," My father said. "Now, wipe those tears of yours and sit quietly. Do you understand?"

No. You're the one who doesn't understand anything.

With trembling hands, I obediently wiped my tears, hiccupping as I struggled to catch my breath. But it hurt. My cheek was still burning, and my heart arched. But it was the beginning of my torment, the beginning of obedience, discipline, and loathing.

I became their puppet, a porcelain doll that they used every day, and every night like a toy. They opened my head, prying it open with their bare hands and filled it. They filled my head with their ambitions, their desires, and a vision of a future I didn't want. It wasn't what I wanted, but what they wanted.

It was their dreams that they were unable to reach, and as another option to achieve them, I was their ticket to that desire. The desire of wealth beyond what we already had, the desire of attention and praise, and to be successful unlike any other person alive. They brainwashed me, manipulating me for their personal gain, and accepted nothing else.

They implemented cruel discipline when I went against them, and applied rules that I couldn't avoid. I couldn't say no but mindlessly nod, believing their twisted lies that held me by the throat, tightening whenever I attempted to unravel the truth or speak against them.

I became a doll for them to dress and position. They tugged my hair, styling it to whatever they thought would look best. I had no option of wearing what I wanted, being shoved clothes that I began to become disgusted with, but I accepted it. I accepted what they gave me and what they did.

What a fool I was.

"Smile big and wide, Jeonghan," My mother would order.

I obeyed, smiling brightly, forcing that wide smile onto my face. Forcing that smile I couldn't bear to look at whenever I stared into the mirror. That fake smile. That smile I hated to see every morning, every minute, and every hour.

I don't want to smile.

"Run faster! Pick up the pace, lazy ass!" My father would order, watching me as I coughed and my throat itched.

I obeyed, continuing to run the horrendous fitness course he set up for me, but my head was pounding. My lungs heaved, sweat running down my face as I made it to the end, giving out and falling onto the ground. I wanted to vomit. I wanted to discard everything as my vision blurred.

I don't want this. I don't want to work out until I faint. Make it stop. Stop it. Let me rest. Let me rest.

"What are you wearing?! I told you we're meeting my friends!" My mother snapped. "Get out of that and dress in something presentable! What would they think of me and our family, Jeonghan?!"

I nodded, my eyes glued to the floor as I turned and changed, feeling exhausted and drained as I looked at myself in the mirror. Another suit, another tie... Another lie.

I don't care if they are repulsed with casual clothing. I can't breathe. It's tight. It's tight. It's tight.

"Tell them about yourself, sweetie!"

"It's nice to meet you. I'm Jeonghan and-"

I'm exhausted. I'm tired of telling them about me. I hate it. I hate it. I hate it. I hate ME.

"You're such a good child! Your mother and father did so well raising such a gentleman,"

"And I'm thankful they did, Miss,"

I hate lying. I hate them. They're terrible. They're terrible.

"Sweetie, why don't you tell them what I helped you with?"

"Oh, yes. My mother-"

Did nothing. She did nothing. All she did was watch me suffer. She made suffer.

"Tell them about your father, too! He's such a lovely man and father,"

"Indeed! He's-"

Brutal. He's brutal. He hurts me. He hurts me. Make it stop. Make it stop. He's a beast. A beast. Bruises. Bruises. They're everywhere. They're everywhere on my body but my neck, my hands, and my face. Can't you see it? Can't you see my pain through my eyes?

"How lovely! You're all such a perfect family!"

"I wouldn't ask for any other to take care of me,"

Yes I would. I would beg for someone else. I would beg and cry. Please. Please. Please take me away. Take me away.

"But your kids... Goodness. You should take advice from me! After all, Jeonghan is such a lovely boy, so I'm sure your children will be able to use him as a perfect example who they should be in the future, dear,"

No. No they shouldn't. They shouldn't listen to you. They shouldn't have their kids copy me. Don't let them feel pain. Don't let them be destroyed like me. Don't. Don't. Don't.

"Jeonghan, what do you wish of achieving?"

"I want to achieve being able to have a business that'll help the world. I want to be successful and provide for my parents,"

No I don't. I don't want to be a business man. I don't want to be successful. I don't want to provide for monsters. I don't. I don't I don't.

"How did you manage to make him so obedient? What method do you use to have him behave so wonderfully?"

"Oh, it didn't take that much! We just had to help guide him, always reminding him of what to do and not to do, and make rules. Nothing more, nothing less."

"What an Angel of a son you have, my friend! You did well!"

You ruined me! You ruined me! You tainted me with your dreams! You sealed my lips shut! You burned me! You hit me! Made me scream and cry! You shattered me! You BROKE me! You're a liar! Liar! Liar! Liar!

They broke me...

"Stay down!"

I gasped, laying on the floor as tears rolled down my cheeks. I hugged myself tightly, blood gushing from my nose as my body shook violently.

"N-No more. N-No m-more," I cried softly.

You'll pay. You'll pay. I'll make you pay.

My father, no, that beast grabbed my hair, tugging me up as I choked, wincing as I twitched.

"All you had to do was just nod and fucking agree! But you ruined it! You costed me a deal of a life time!" He yelled, dropping me. I attempted to crawl away, vision blurry as I dragged my body.

I'll make your life hell.

I let out a choked scream as he grabbed my ankle, yanking me back as I clawed at the floor, attempting to grab at the furniture, the cracks in the floor. Anything... But I couldn't. It was too far and hopeless.

"I'm not done with you yet, brat!" I begged him to stop, my voice raspy. But it did nothing. It didn't stop him. It didn't stop his feet from slamming into the stomach, the vulgar words he spat, the bruises against my skin, and the blood that was smeared onto the floor. It didn't stop anything. It didn't stop the beast that continued his brutal punishment for another hour . . .

I'll kill you. I'll kill you.

"Fucking waste of space," He spat as I laid there motionless, staring at the wall as the world became dark and red. Red. Is that from me? That red substance... Yes. That's mine. That's my blood. It's everywhere...

What did he break this time? Did he break my wrist again? My arm? No... No. He broke my mind. He broke my entire body. He broke everything. Everything. Everything.

Empty. I feel empty. So, so empty.

And what did he do?

He left me.

He left me on the floor, shattered.

He left a shattered, seventeen year old boy on the floor for his sister to find. And all he did, all that I did, was fall victim to him. To them. To monsters.

But the tables turned, and guess who they obeyed during their final hours?

That shattered son that they made their little toy~

Next Chapter: coming soon . . .

🥀// @yourlocal-babybear @aikihades @sophie-svt-13 @waitingwhispers60 @seventeen-chatbot @kpop-shelter @yangomangos @m00n-nim96 @ghoulxbaekhyun @moonlit-jaemin @empress-jiaqi @time-for-confession @xash-axx @fnafnctdream-chatbot @split-jiu @artsydahyun @softdommechungha @princess-yeji @werewolf-sehun @julia-oc [DM for +/-]

[lavenderek]

fwiw i’m an A*3 volunteer - i do tag wrangling, actually - and i really do need to emphasise the fact that we are VOLUNTEERS, and there’s really nothing we can do when it comes to bigger issues re: the core of how the site runs and the values people feel it holds.

what i am really tired of is people assuming things about me because i’m a volunteer. people can be so ridiculously vitriolic - like that anon you got who was immediately at you like ‘SO YOU’RE FINE WITH CHILD ABUSE?’ is a perfect example of what i mean. no, i’m not, but i honestly do appreciate a rare space online that is *relatively* unmoderated - which is NOT to say it isn’t completely unmoderated. like you said, there are so many cultural aspects to even simple tags, and as a tag wrangler, you’re ‘trained’ on that. that’s just tag wrangling - i’m sure higher up volunteer positions also take the time and care to educate volunteers correctly on how to manage their roles.

again, though, there is fundamentally very little us volunteers can do for parts people might disagree with. we come from all walks of life and there are so many roles and we all only have so much time. fact is, the website is the way it and it’s unlikely to change beyond perhaps adding more ‘social media’ type functions, like blocking people. if you feel that there is content that is inappropriate or commenters that are inappropriate or whatever, you can report it directly to the people running the website (which i’ve personally done before for an extreme underage fic about a real life - albeit of-age - person), and i obviously didn’t check back to see if it had been removed, but i assume it was dealt with because i genuinely do have faith in the moderators. anyway, just some insight as someone who works with the site.

hey! thanks for the info actually this is really interesting. sorry about the delayed response, i saved it as a draft to come back to it later and then i got busy at work and forgot

while you're here, you mind if i ask you some questions? feel free not to answer, you're not obligated

i separated it into sections because i’m what? longwinded and easily confused

1. can this happen (has questions for you in it)

it's my understanding that the big uproar vis a vis CP fic on a*3 is more that a*3 is inadvertently creating a space where p*dophiles feel safe and can establish a following, in turn allowing them to normalize what they're doing and gain access to potential victims.

tldr, it's less "this is inappropriate" and more "the person who made this is dangerous." like, if the person who wrote that nasty fic you reported had a whole profile full of similar content and was gaining a following from it, that would be concerning.

is the overall effect a user has something that you all take into account when you're going through content on the site, or are you instructed to take the specific piece of content at face value?

and, do you think that's something it's possible to address by moderators? regardless of whether or not it’ll actually happen, do you think that is possible on this system?

and, even more optional than the other questions, if that was possible, what do you think that would look like? 

2. what is the process like on your end (has questions for you in it)

just for my own curiosity, how much leeway do you as a volunteer have over whether a fic should be reported? 

is it up to your own judgment or is there like a rubric or something? 

and what happens if the moderators decide that yeah, this fic can't be up anymore, do they remove the fic or kill the user's profile or what?

what happens if you report something, and the moderators decide it’s fine? does that reflect on you in their eyes? 

how often do you report fic? 

3. clarification of motive (does not have questions for you in it, now i’m just talking)

like i hear you that you, personally, Anon J. Wranglerton, don't have control over the site itself. the topic of CP and abuse is touchy and wigs people out because it sort of self perpetuates.

it's like that anecdote that went viral a few years ago where a bartender explained that allowing one polite n*zi into the bar leads very quickly into lots of n*zis being in the bar. people want the n*zis removed from the bar. 

i'm sorry people accuse you of being an abuse apologist because of that, i think the idea that people wouldn't really see abuse as a concern is like, actually horrifying to them lmao and i can't necessarily blame them for that in and of itself

4. if i see where they’re coming from then what’s my problem (does not have questions for you in it, now i’m just talking)

i guess i don't share that reaction because disgusting content online isn't anything new for me. i accidentally came across it all the time when i was a kid going online. i nearly fell victim to an actual predator when i was 12 or 13. thankfully, once he asked me for more personal information i was able to get scared and see some red flags. (or if he wasn’t a predator then i should probably go and find my chat room boyfriend Oukami who explained “yiffing” to me and told me to send him pictures of myself so he could make me a wolf fursona)

from my perspective, the a*3 debate looks like this: predators are a concept that is deeply embedded in every corner of the internet, and very suddenly, people are very up in arms about a very specific website having predators on it. it’s like if all of a sudden people were like, “there are customers at Target who yell at the employees. if you still shop at Target, unfollow me.” 

like, yeah, you’re right, and that’s bad, but why Target specifically, and why now, you know? 

i think predators should be made to feel extremely unsafe in fandom spaces lmao, but i also think that’s something that can only be tackled socially. playing whack-a-mole with predators is a tale as old as time.

5. online predators (does not have questions for you in it, now i’m just talking)

this is just me talking out of my ass, but my theory is that a huge component in kids today getting caught up by predators online is that the concept of anonymity and fear of strangers online has some holes in it on here.

first of all, people just a couple years younger than i am grew up on social media. that was the entire online landscape ever since myspace.

influencers use their real names and faces, and they have millions of followers and are treated like celebrities. a lot of these social networks make it extremely difficult to hide your identity at all. you sign in to youtube with your google account, which is linked to your phone and all your other accounts. instagram, twitter, facebook, and tumblr can all be connected, and a few of those apps encourage it and will interrupt you posting to be like “do you want to also put this on twitter, Firstname Lastname?” no, janet, i’m good. thank you though

this lends a certain amount of freedom to predators, because there is nothing stopping them from assessing somebody’s vulnerability and reaching out to them. 

6. online predators in fandom spaces specifically (does not have questions for you in it, now i’m just talking)

i think the fandom space cultivated on tumblr has actively contributed to that. 

look at all these blogs, they’ve got “about me” descriptions with their name, their age, a blurb about their interests, their gender identity, their romantic/sexual preferences, sometimes their fuckin myers-briggs designation. this is all expected behavior on tumblr. 

it starts as a sort of “this is my blog, here’s what i’m about,” and is compounded by like, “NTs can reblog this post but don’t say anything stupid,” or “minors DNI, how old are you,” like, you have to kind of verify that you’re “allowed,” in a sense, to participate in some conversations or interact with some posts. 

i think there’s merit in both of those things, blogs are for self expression and for interacting with likeminded users; and i don’t think it’s “gatekeeping” to stop straighties from clowning on your post about queer issues. 

but this has inadvertently created a sort of entitlement to private information. it also creates this false idea that because you and i have x and y in common, we can interact comfortably. 

it’s crucial to remember that predators aren’t all scary white men who want to visit you at home. some of them are cool 20-somethings who just happen to be normalizing sexual content with children in it. and they genuinely don’t see what they’re doing as wrong. if they’re already your friend, and you see them saying shit about how they’re not hurting anybody, it’s just pretend, it’s just a kink, then you’re probably going to sympathize with them. 

this isn’t to say, “stupid kids, they’re bringing this on themselves by oversharing to the wrong people,” because it’s neither kids’ fault nor unique to children. this kind of oversharing is taking place with all ages and kinds of people on tumblr. 

this is to say, this is what this particular subculture has caused: healthy boundaries are kind of bulldozed to make room for a kind of disorganized sense of community and morality.

7. back to CP on a*3 (does not have questions for you in it, now i’m just talking)

i think this kind of “CP is disgusting and you’re disgusting for looking at it” shit is dangerous. 

things this is NOT because of: 

CP deserves a place online

It’s A Slippery Slope, What Will They Ban Next

um, kinkshaming

there is no point in even trying to get predators off a*3

i just think it’s completely unhelpful. it’s literally a waste of their time. they’re wasting their time and hurting themselves and others in the process. it’s lacking in nuance and perspective. 

what we should be saying is “CP is a red flag. CP tells you something about the person posting it.” 

we shouldn’t be asking “are you okay with child abuse,” we should be asking, “what does this content say about the person posting it? are they unsafe to have around? if i realize too late that they’re unsafe, who can i turn to?” those are the kinds of questions we should be asking if our goal really is to protect people.

what the collection of block lists of supposed abuse apologists says is this: “you have to choose between not having to police online behavior, and proving your morals to me, a complete fucking stranger. if your morals are lacking, you’re out, we don’t speak to you anymore, and we tell everyone who will listen that you are a bad person.” 

not to delegitimize their concerns, but it’s fully just mccarthyism. like... that’s what mccarthyism was like. the fact that mccarthyism was bad isn’t even the point, it’s important to recall that mccarthyism did not work. it stopped happening for myriad reasons, one of which was that it was hurting people and wasting resources and doing absolutely nothing else. 

i obviously don’t want to be labeled “anti-american pinko scum” and fired from my job and disallowed from my neighbor’s house. who would? they’re not actually weeding out anybody dangerous, they’re just rounding people up who are just as angry as they are or who are scared of them lmfao. 

ever since that shitty post of mine went viral (which - “viral,” i guarantee it isn’t viral, i stopped looking at it literally that night) i’ve been terrified that one of these days i’m gonna like, comment on something and have the OP be like “wait a minute, you’re that bitch who made fun of some anti-a*3 people, unfollow me” lmfao. like, that’s what this rhetoric is accomplishing. 

i’m not boohooing, i deserved a slap on the wrist for making rude comments. i’m just telling you the extent of the results they’re getting. they made me feel sad. so at least there’s that. 

8. anti-a*3 people (has questions for anyone in it)

“fine, so we’re not trying to evangelize for not liking CP. so what? we don’t want people who like CP around. supporting that stuff is disgusting. we are blocking them for our own safety and don’t appreciate the tone police coming in and telling us it’s no big deal.” - an anti a*3 person, probably

yeah i mean, i get that. if i was really upset about something important and somebody told me “you’re right, but shut up about it,” i would also be pissed. 

my question, though, is this: is the underage tag on a*3 the limit we want to place on our activism against predators online? at minimum, is yelling at and blocking people about it on tumblr making us feel safer?

and also: how are we going to define the things we are trying to get rid of? what is underage? how do we account for differences in culture? how do we account for nuance when we make broad judgments? 

and also: who do we really hold responsible for this? who do we think is at fault and what do we want them to do?

i feel like we could all benefit from some perspective here.

9. back to you (has questions for you in it)

so like, is it fun? how’d you get the position? how long do you work typically?

do you talk directly with higher-ups or whatever? do you have coworkers?

do you have to read through lots of fic yourself or does stuff get reported to you and then you look at it? 

what other stuff do you report content for, aside from abusive content? like i read a post saying people shouldn’t be advertising their paypal or whatever on their a*3, do you nip stuff like that in the bud or is that something else? 

what if it’s just mistagged, presumably by human error not by a legitimate abuse of the system, what do you do? do you tag it for them or do you reach out to them and tell them to fix it or what?

who decided on the color scheme? can there be a skin that’s orange and avocado green? can you pass that on for whoever does the colors? i think i’d spend more time on any particular website if the color scheme was a nice, desaturated orange and avocado green.

nice

[ivarsrideordie]

The Sleepover

Must be 18+ to read. No if, ands or buts.

Pairing: Alex Høgh Andersen x Reader

Warnings: Fluff, maybe angst, kissing, idk it’s pretty tame for me.

Title: The Sleep Over

Words: 2,724

Masterlist

This will also be posted to my  AO3  account in the future.

I wrote this for @honestsycrets for Christmas.  It’s a little late and I’m really sorry about that.  Also, thank you for the moodboard.  

If you would like to be tagged, comment or message me.  I’ll be happy to add you.

The sweet smell of sugar cookies baking in your oven fill your small apartment that sits atop a small insurance agency on a busy downtown Copenhagen street.  You crack one of your windows open, allowing your place to cool off a bit from all the baking.  The streets bustle with shoppers going from store to store gathering their last few Christmas gifts.  Felix, your black-tabby, jump up on the open windowsill and watch the little squirrel-sized people scurry through the street.  Distant horns honk every so often along with the sound of bicycle bells and angry shouts here and there.  

“Felix! Don’t jump out now.”  You scold him just as he decides to curl up on his window blanket.

Felix just looks at you, then starts to clean himself.

“Gross. So rude, Felix.” You say with a disgusted face.

You start making your last batch of cookies, this time, chocolate chip. Alex was coming to visit tonight so you had to make his favorite or he would never let you live it down.  your stomach flip-flops at the thought of Alex.  He is one of the funniest, kindest, happiest, handsome people you had ever met.  

‘Wait, did you just think handsome?’  You thought to yourself.

Sure, Alex is very handsome.  He has been a good friend for several years.

*Flashback*

You remember the day you met him.  You were with your friend, Josie hanging out in the park.  Alex and his friends were playing Frisbee.  Alex was showing off his skills and his friend threw it too hard.  Next thing you knew, Alex was falling headfirst into your picnic, knocking over the wine and stepping on the plates of fruits and cheese.  He did an acrobatic roll, landing on his back in the grass just past our blanket.  

You remember yelling at him, calling him a fucking dumb fuck and throwing some grapes at him.  Alex was beet red with embarrassment but laughed so hard when a grape smacked him on the tip of his nose.  You could have sworn he was looking at Josie the whole time he was playing Frisbee with his friends, but when he sat up from the fall, he was looking at you. He offered to pay for our wine and food and to get the blanket cleaned.  With your good nature, and even though you were pissed, you declined his offer.  But Josie snatched up his offer. She was the one who brought everything after all.  You guess you shouldn’t have declined for her.  

Josie decided she was no longer angry when his friends came over and started flirting with her.  She loved the attention.  She always got it, which is what surprised you. Alex was talking to you instead of her.  That never happened.  Ever.  

Alex asked for your number since she was busy, said he would call for me to come to get the blanket after it was cleaned and left with the blanket in hand.  A few days later, you got a text from him asking where we could meet.  At first, you were confused, not knowing who this stranger was.  All you could think was ‘Stranger danger!’  After a few texts of confusion later and he reminded you of your encounter in the park.

You remembered the way his light blue eyes searched your face, studied your features.  You guess you were doing the same.  You could still remember the little scar on his chin, how he had a smudge of dirt on his cheek, the way his voice was so soft and soothing.  You had decided to meet him on the pier closest to your place.  

You gazed out at the rippling water as you patiently waited for him.  your eyes closed at the touch of the canals slight breeze.  The time came and went.  You thought You had been stood up.  You weren’t too upset.  You mean, he probably had other plans and forgot all about you. You tried to hold back tears, but even in protest, they fell down your cheeks.  Just as You were about to turn back to walk back to your place, You saw him in the distance, running towards you with a big bag in hand.  He nodded in recognition and smiled brightly.  Your face instantaneously lit up with a huge grin.  He showed up. He actually showed up! Quickly, you wiped your tears from your eyes as he reached you.

“I am so sorry.  There was a line at the dry cleaners.  I thought I’d never get out of there.”  He said.

“It’s alright.  I was enjoying the nice breeze we have today.”  You lied.

“I don’t think I ever got your name.  My name is Alex.”  He said, holding his hand out to shake it.

You looked at his hand and grinned.  “Really?  We are going to shake?” You snickered.  “My name is Y/N.”

You took his hand, shaking it.  His palms were warm and calloused like he worked somewhere where he did heavy labor.  His thumb lightly caressed the top of your hand, his eyes locked on yours. You felt a warmth run through your body.

“Y/N? What a pretty name.”  Alex said with a smile.

He had to be joking right?  It is such a plain name.

“Thank you.  So is Alex.”  You joked.

He laughed.  His laugh was contagious.  It made your face light up and your heart sing.  His smile was as bright as the sun.  You know he’s not perfect, but how can he be so perfect?

“So, where is your friend?”  He asked.

Your heart sank into your stomach.  He did want to see her.  You knew it was too good to be true.

“I’m not sure what she’s doing today.  D-do you want me to call her or give you her number?”  You frowned.

It must have looked like you had the wind blown out of your sails by the way his face fell too.  You were trying so hard to hold back any kind of emotion.

‘I just need to numb myself for another 10 minutes, if that long.  This will all be over soon.’  You thought.  

“I just want to give her this.”  He said, holding up the blanket.

“Yeah. I got it.”  You said shortly.  “I’ll call her for you.”  You looked for her number in your contacts and pressed send.

“No! Please.  You can take it.”  He hurriedly said.  “I wanted to see you.  Please?”

You heard Josie pick up.  your end was silent.  Josie started asking if you were okay, if you needed help or if he hurt you.  You just replied that you were fine, you had her blanket and would see her tomorrow.  She hung up the phone after she sang her goodbyes to you.

“Please?” Alex begged.  

It was adorable.  You were trying so hard not to be mad.  

“I didn’t mean to upset you.”  He said, taking your hand in his. “So, Y/N? Would you like to go get some coffee or something?”

You blinked away tears, one trickled down your cheek.  Alex frowned when he saw this.  He placed his palm against your cheek, wiping it away with his thumb.  

“Sure. I’d like that.”  You said with a smile.

Alex gave a soft smile.  He held out his hand for you to take.  He walked with you, hand in hand to the nearest coffee shop.  The line was winding halfway down the block.  

You sighed.  “I don’t do this, ever, but since it’s such a long wait, do you want to go have coffee at my place?”  As soon as you asked, looked to your feet in embarrassment.  You couldn’t believe you just asked that.

“Sure! If you are okay with that, I mean.”  Alex said with excitement.

“It seems to be getting colder.”  You shivered.  

He took off his coat and placed it around your shoulders.  “Better?” He asked.

“Much.” You smiled warmly.

His coat was so toasty.  It smelled like him, the sweet smell of his cologne mixed with a tiny bit of his manly musk.  You breathed in deeply.  

Once you were back at your apartment, You made coffee and offered snacks.  You got to know each other and talked well until the sunset.  You wanted to kiss him.  You wanted him to kiss me.  You were afraid to make a move.  You didn’t want to ruin any kind of friendship you would ever have.  Alex kept reaching out, touching your hands, hair, cheek, shoulder, anything he could.  He looked at you in a way you had never been looked at before.  You were mesmerized by his stare, his eyes.  God, his eyes.  

Finally, Alex said he had to go.  He had work the next day.  He promised he would call or text or both.  You gave him back his jacket, never expecting to hear from him again.  Early that next morning, your phone buzzed with a text message.  You smiled.  

*Flashback ends*

The buzzer on the door rings and snaps you out of your thoughts.  The chocolate chip cookies are in the oven and baking.  

“Y/N, let me in!”  Alex hollers from behind the door.  “I’m freezing my fucking balls off out here!”

You giggle-snorted into the door monitor and pushed the button to unlock the door.  You heard Alex’s big clunky footsteps climbing up to your apartment. The alarm in your oven notified you that this batch of cookies was done.  You were removing the gooey chocolate chip cookies from the baking sheet onto wax paper when Alex walked into the kitchen.

“Ah! There you are!”  Alex said with a big bright smile.  “Did you know it is snowing?”

“No! Is it?”  You ran over to the window.  “Would you look at that?!” You grinned.

“I hear it’s going to get worse. I mean, I might have to crash here tonight if it gets too bad.” Alex winked.

“Well, you know where your bed is and where the blankets are if you do.” You smirked and pointed to the couch.

“Ah, man!  Come on!”  He whined.  “Can’t you sleep on the couch for once?”

“Nope! My house, my bed.”  You giggled.  “Besides, Felix will keep you company.”

The fat lazy cat lifted his head briefly when he heard his name being called.  

“Yeah. He seems to be the only pussy I have gotten in a while.”  Alex cackled.  

You shook your head as you tried to hide a smile.  

“So, why haven’t you got yourself some?”  You asked before you could stop yourself.

“Uh...” His eyes grew wide.  “Well, I guess I haven’t found the one.  Or maybe I have and I could be waiting for her to figure it out.  Either way, I can wait. Besides, if I really need it, that’s what this is for.”  He smirked and made the jerk-off motion with his fist.

“Oh, lord!”  You burst out laughing.  

His words made your mind race.  ‘Waiting for her to figure it out,’ kept racing through your thoughts. ‘What if he means me?’ Your heart fluttered.

“Are you making any more cookies?”  Alex mumbled through a mouthful of cookie.

“I hadn’t planned on it!  But I guess I better make more.”  You huffed.  Alex had already eaten half of the chocolate chip cookies. “What did you do?  Make a sandwich out of those?”  

“You know how much I love your fresh baked cookies.”  A big chocolaty smile spread across his face.  “I think it’s time you teach me how you make these.”

“Oh? You want to help instead of watch this time?”  You raised an eyebrow.

“Sure! Why not?”  He grinned.  “So what do we start with?”  He looked into the flour jar.

“Get three eggs from the refrigerator.  And the butter.”  You said as you reached for another clean bowl.  “Oh and the milk!”  You ran around the kitchen gathering the ingredients you needed, all the while humming to yourself.  

Alex had placed the eggs, milk, and butter on the counter and took a seat on the stool at the end of the island.  He watched you dance around the kitchen, picking up bowls, spatulas, spoons and measuring cups.  You brushed a stray strand of hair out of your face but it fell back in its awkward place.  Alex stood from the stool and helped you unload your arms from the miscellaneous baking items.

“Thank you!”  You said.  

Alex didn’t answer.  You glanced at him and noticed he was staring at you. This was a look you had never seen on his face before.  Alex reached out and tucked the stray hairs behind your ear.  His thumb slid over your bottom lip as he pulled his hand away from your face.  

“So, where do we start?”  Alex asked, pretending as nothing happened.  

You licked your bottom lip hoping to get some sort of taste of him. “Uhm, you want to put a few cups of flour in this bowl.”  You handed him the measuring cup.

Your tongue danced around your lips, licking still for more.  You watched Alex count out the cups of flour.  Your eyes trailed up his arms. His big strong biceps flexed.

“Now what?”  Alex smirked.  

His voice broke your trance.  You looked at his face to see him grinning. He chuckled under his breath when he saw your cheeks grow red with embarrassment.  You wondered just how long he was watching you watch him.

You cleared your throat.  “Put the eggs in.”  You dryly swallowed.

“Eggs? Gotcha!”  Alex said, grabbing the eggs and cracking them into the bowl.  

You were still playing with your bottom lip wondering what his skin tasted like, what his lips tasted like.  You were staring into space when you heard him.  

“How am I doing?”  A low growl next to your ear brought you out of your thoughts.  

Alex stood next to you, his face close to yours.  His lips so close to your ear you could hear him breathing.  You could feel the warmth of his breath on your cheek.  

“Looking good, Alex.”  You smiled nervously.  ‘Why am I nervous?  It’s just Alex!’

“Yes, you are.”  Alex whispered even closer to your ear.  

“What?” You squeaked.  

“You heard me.”  Alex said softly.  “You look beautiful today.”

“I-I...” You stammered just as Alex’s lips touched yours.  

You melted into the kiss.  Was this really happening?  Were you dreaming? His tongue licked at your bottom lip.  You were the first to break the passionate kiss.

“Alex,” You moaned.  “What are you doing?”

“Fuck, I love hearing you moan my name.”  He groaned.

“I thought we were just friends?”  You whispered.  

“We have always been more than friends.”  He said, placing soft little kisses down your neck.

You leaned your head back into his shoulder allowing his lips to glide down your skin.  His strong arms wrapped around your waist.  

“Why today, Alex?”  You whimpered as his nimble fingers trailed down to the top of your jeans.

“Why not?”  He nuzzled his nose under your ear, his warm breath sending chills down your spine.  “I’ve always wanted to be with you.  And I know you want to be with me.”

“I do, I have.”  You confessed.  

“So, I decided today would be the day.  If you kissed me back, I knew I was right.  If you didn’t, I would know I am in the friend zone and try to move on.”  He said and started peppering kisses down your neck again.

A moan escaped your lips.  Fuck, he felt good.  You had never felt this before with any other man.  His lips were like little electric sparks caressing your skin.  He had snuck his hand under your shirt.  His fingers were like fire. You giggled a little when he hit your ticklish spot.  He silently snickered.  

“Sorry.” He laughed.

“It is okay.”  You said.  You raised a hand, turning his face towards yours.  Your plump lips brushed against his.

“Should we finish the cookies?”  He said between small kisses.

“Fuck the cookies!  I’m going to bed.”  You smirked.

“Oh.” Alex frowned.

“Are you coming with me?”  You licked your lips.

Alex’s eyes sparkled in delight.  “Fuck, yes I am!”  He exclaimed.  

You couldn’t believe it.  He was finally yours.  You had been waiting for this moment for so long.  You took his hand in yours as you led him to your bedroom.  

@honestsycrets​  @lisinfleur  @therealcalicali​  @missrobyn81​  @dangerousvikings​  @ivarswickedqueen​  @bang-kim-bap​  @michaeliskindahot​  @heathen-whore​  @vikingsbifrost​  @hvitserksgirl​  @mblaqgi​  @ivarsshieldmadien​  @captstefanbrandt​  @funmadnessandbadassvikings  @titty-teetee​  @ethereallysimple​  @ivars-snowflake​  @babydoll7478  @inthenameofodin​  @ivarsheathen​  @microsmacrosandneedles  @trailerthoughtstexas​  @ivars-heathen  @cbouvier23​  @tierneygonzalez​  @dmv49​  @ivaraddict​  @akamaiden​  @readsalot73​  @moondustmemories​ @jxylynn-eliz​ @tayachristopher​ @ivarlcthbrok @slut4hazeleyes​  @cynthianokamaria​  @jadelynlace​  @xinyourdreamsx​  @car-karaoke​  @wallabieswisher​  @poisonedjoinery  @zarousa​  @winchesterwife27​  @rekdreams-fandom   @flokidottir-imagines​  @writingbyjade​   @ainatirb-j​  @tgrrose​   @inforapound​

[chenoehi]

The number of jikook accounts I’m seeing that still follow thisheartsmadefullmetal after she pulled her shit and disrespected Jungkook in that disgusting post is sickening to me. What the fuck is wrong with you people or are you genuinely ignorant of what she did and what she really is.

Sorry. But,

Really? Really. Alright. I didn’t follow some of you big accounts which I won’t name here, thank god, mostly because I already didn’t like you and for good reason I guess but I am very disappointed in the blogs I do still follow and the one I’ve already named which I just unfollowed because all I’ve been doing lately is losing good blogs but I guess an unfollow spree can lead to a new follow spree and a search for unproblematic favorites.

EDIT: the blog name has been removed for reasons below.

I just have to ask you guys one question first: is Jungkook only good for one half of a ship? Because if that's all, if that's where your interest starts and ends, then don't even call yourself OT7 or ARMY or whatever else you want to call yourself. We talk all the time about how TKs use JK for their own ship and shit on him if it means diminishing his bond with JM, but what about jikookers? A big Jimin bias account spews hate toward JK in a way she's never done toward the other members before, but nearly has, and ? She deletes the post, ignores the criticism, and moves on, and 'jikookers' who follow her continue to lap up her melodrama. So, you guys don't really care all that much about JK aside from the fact that he and Jimin look cute together and sometimes he takes those cute videos and photos of your bias. I see.

Tumblr is a refuge for me, it should be like a breath of fresh air after being on Twitter a little bit which is fun for a hot minute but can become suffocating,

and then I come on here and the first fucking post I see on my tl is a reblog of a post from thisheartsmadefullmetal after seeing that bitch’s posts come up on my tl every day the last couple of weeks

AS IF SUDDENLY EVERYONE FORGOT THAT SHE’S A PIECE OF SHIT WHO SAID GEMS LIKE SHE WANTED TO SLAP JUNGKOOK AND THAT HE ONLY STARTED LIKING JIMIN DURING BS&T ERA WHEN JIMIN STARTING STARVING HIMSELF BECAUSE HE'S A SHALLOW NARCISSIST WHO DIDN'T KNOW WHAT HE HAD IN FRONT OF HIM.

But uwu she posted a cute photoset with Jimin and sunsets.

uwuwuwuwuwuwuwu

See, THAT’S where it’s appropriate to say shit like, “You guys don’t deserve x member.” In this case, none of you fuckers who still follow her knowing what she did, NONE of you deserve Jungkook or really any of the other members of Bangtan because if you also forgot:

- she’s called Taehyung a fake friend and insinuated that Taehyung plays their bond up for the camera

- she’s criticized Bangtan numerous times when it comes to Jimin as her way of showing “support” for her favorite

- she basically went on attack mode over MAMA 2018 because “Bangtan didn’t comfort Jimin when he was crying which obviously means they don’t give a shit about him”

- she’s perpetuated the narrative that the only people who care about Jimin are his solo stans, pjms, even at the exclusion of Bangtan because of course, you know, they’re all self-serving assholes and take advantage of his kindness and gentle nature

- she’s written 2k word monologues about her dependence on Jimin and how he’s the source of her happiness

- she’s perpetuated this destructive, highly toxic myth that A. Jimin is this fragile porcelain doll who will just break into a million pieces if anyone criticizes him or is mean to him (thus the reason why his fans are needed, they must come to his defense) and B. that the very sight of this 23-year-old MUSICIAN and CELEBRITY crying will be too much to bear for his fans and will break them into a million pieces because that’s how fragile their psyches are and so is he and they're all going to just melt into a puddle together and drown in their tears

And you bet your ass, if you don’t help trend a hashtag for him or drain a pint of blood for him if he needed it you might as well just leave the fandom.

You’re all a fucking disgrace.

I’m personally done with that shit. I'll most likely unfollow anyone who reblogs posts from her directly because that either means you follow her or you're just finding her in the tags and regardless I don't want to see her posts or support a blog who supports her. And yes, following someone like that who is toxic and dangerous and mentally and emotionally unstable and who is and has been openly hateful toward Bangtan in favor of Jimin, acting like an akgae, a toxic solo stan, yes ma’am and yes sir, you are supporting that behavior so you are just as bad. Actually, you’re worse than she is because at least she’s just delusional and that’s what her problem is. What’s your excuse?

I don’t reblog any posts from her anymore, even ones that have been shared by others, just because that’s my stance and I don’t even want to see her name on my blog after what she did; I only reblogged one of her’s once recently and that was to make a point and add to another post about how toxic she was being. 

But still following her after she wrote that disgusting post, deleted it (I have the screenshots and I posted about it, in fact, it’s my top post), never said a fucking word about it, and then moved on like everything was hunky dory, like her shit doesn’t stink, like she’s fucking invincible? Well, how else should she feel when her legion of followers keep bumping along behind her like little ducks. And when the Jungkook post business blew up? That was pretty big. Pretty hard to miss as it was posted all over the jikook tags and she tags other ships too. I’ll have a hard time believing people who say the really didn’t know about it.

Anyway. Maybe soon I’ll get to scroll through my tumblr feed and not get pissed off, once I’ve unfollowed all the people still following her. That would be nice.

But just to save some time: I don’t care how many followers I have and I don’t care how many blogs I follow anymore either. I want a positive experience on here for myself and I don’t give a shit what it looks like. But it’s not going to include her posts. So like last time, if you see this post and you follow thisheartsmadefullmetal and happen to be following me, unfollow me please right now. If you follow her and don’t follow me, block me please right now.

Regardless, if you follow that account and intend to keep following that account, all I can say is shame the fuck on you.

EDIT: This post needs to be edited to remove the other account I mentioned, tumblr is just spitting out my edits. They do not follow this toxic blog. I mentioned in a separate post earlier that I wasn't sure because it was brought to my attention you can just reblog from random accounts when surfing tags; I don't surf the tags anymore and I had a dumbass moment, I assumed they followed the account, and now I know. I've apologized for jumping the gun on that.

[branch--chief--faba]

Branch-Chief--Faba

It's me, the former owner of branch-chief--faba. 

Someone I know pointed out the post @trash-troll made and after reaching out to them they did imply me with their post. So let's start out with the obvious; me writing this post means I'm alive.  Though I should add 'barely' to that. 

Trash-Troll showed me screenshots of people talking about me. And after them convincing me to do it I've decided to write my version of what happened or more importantly.. how I feel about the whole thing. I am not here to debunk anything.. because it will become a he said/she said thing. Let’s just go into this wall of text by saying both parties fucked up.

The end of 2017 and all of 2018 were pretty bad for me, mentally. I was hurt and lost and I didn't know what to do. A year prior to that I made the blog.  It was fun! I never had so many people reaching out to me and willing to spend time to me. That was a whole new experience and in hindsight I didn't know how to deal with it. This isn't me debunking or saying something did or didn't happen but I guess I was in over my head. I had never been popular or even had friends before. Or friends who weren't forced to hang with me because of college or them being co-workers. You know how proud I was that people found me cute or pretty when I posted a selfie? Yeah that never happened before. It boosted my self esteem sky high. 

I did some things that in hindsight weren't smart or downright stupid. I let people play me. I fought battles for people I should have never fought. I was just so afraid that if I didn't do it- they leave and I'd be alone again. I didn’t purposely stick my nose in other’s business. I just wanted to help and now i feel that some people really took advantages of that. In that sense this blog was both a blessing.. and a curse for me. I was so obsessed with keeping everyone happy that I forgot my own happiness and I forgot to look further than the tip of my nose and to please some people I hurt some others, unintentional at the time.. but I understand now and I’m sorry.

I can only apologise for it now. I am to blame for my actions even though they were inspired by others and sometimes it was peer pressure.  I admit that I should've been stronger when i was in a discord made to slam a group of people. I've been a fool and absolutely stupid. You know those PSA’s when they tell you doing nothing is as bad as the bullying? Yeah. At times i was the bystander... and I wish I could undo it but I can’t. 

I feel like (now that I've seen screenshots..) that sometimes I was set up to vent about a person only for it to be shared. Was it fair for me to vent? Yes and no. In my eyes- I was hurt by a few people and I thought the person i was talking to (this venting only happened one on one, never in a group.) was someone I could trust. I know better now and I feel stupid. I said things in pure emotion and in confidence. I was angry and hurt and I just wanted to vent those feelings. Again, I'm the fool for walking into such an obvious trap. I don't blame anyone but myself. I should’ve know better. I really should. However, this isn't just about me. 

There are things people did that are wrong too. Things that hurt me. I will never forget me finding the courage to call someone out on how their actions harmed me mentally and them saying that 'It was my own fault for being too emotionally attached to them'. That's painful and that hurts, even today it haunts me to my core. 

I won't forget that I was doxxed, that i got daily anons to kill myself, that they wish I had cancer, etc.  Even though I enjoyed writing Faba up till that point I just had to slow down. I had up to 1000 asks at the end of it and a lot of them were nasty anons. I deleted one and two came in it's place. Eventually I just had to stop for my own sanity.  I know people suggested and would suggest now that I just should’ve turned the anons off but again. I couldn’t bring myself to do it. I thought that turning them off would mean people wouldn’t like me anymore, because there were good anons too! I figured ‘why should they suffer because of a few’ and in hindsight.. I should’ve just turned the anons off. I know hindsight is 20/20 but.. 

It was around that time almost everything went sour and I still don't know why. This is not me being a idiot, I really don't know why. I am still so socially awkward and figuring out human emotions is hard for me. Sometimes I don't understand until someone tells me 'Hey I'm mad at you because you did X or Y' I'm working on it though but it's not easy.

I won’t forget how a duo of a cis man and a cis woman reached out to someone and pretended to be a gay couple. And I will never forgive myself for not stopping it.  And if you were the victim of this and if you read this then I’m so sorry. Know that I am absolutely disgusted with myself.

I will not forget how a new discord was made without me.. and the reason I wasn’t welcome? I was a supposed transphobe. I am not. Since deleting I’ve had A LOT of time to myself and I came to few conclusions about my gender and my sexual identity. DO NOT even think about use my dead name. I can’t believe someone would say that about me. 

I know people think I’m just some money hound and out for that but I’m not. I don’t give a single shit about money. I care about happiness and I’m not getting it and because of it I’m not growing as a person.

I won’t forget how hurt I was by the actions of a few. And I can’t forget because I feel it .. even today. It consumes me and I already hear people laughing about it. Because ‘haha look at this dumb fuck, right? It’s been a year.” but I just can’t. It’s etched so deep inside me that it makes me sick. 

I know you know who I'm talking about it. And I know you know it's you. I’m doing a favour and not tag anyone I’m going to leave the responsibility to owe up to your actions to you and if you don’t.. then that also speaks volumes about you as a person.  And those people I'm talking about need to take a good hard look at themselves. Instead of posting that 'the evil is defeated' gif or celebrating someone deleting out of despair. Because this is not the only story to tell. There are LOADS more. Trash-Troll showed me. Please just be kinder..

I cannot change the past and I will never deny myself having some part in it.. but no one should feel like I do over fandom stuff. NO ONE. And no one can really help you if you see someone get doxxed, bullied or threatened and you sit back thinking 'eh they deserve it' no one deserves it. I know we live in an age where internet is part of our lives. But for many the internet is a safe space where they can just be a little looser than usual.  Just block people.

What happened after I left this blog? I started by deleting my Discord, there were too many bad memories attached to it so I just dumped the whole thing out. I send a message explaining why I did it and send a few people who I thought I could trust my new discord. That not a single soul accepted my new friend request.. yeah that stung pretty hard. So, after keeping it up for two months and resending the friend requests.. I just deleted that one too. 

I stopped using my other socials, Facebook, Twitter, Instagram. I had to quit my job. If you can recall it wasn't a job that required a lot of thinking so my thoughts were allowed to run wild. Sometimes I started working and I just didn't know how I got to the end of my shift. It was just.. there. I'd black out thinking about the whole mess. I was feeling numb for months, nothing would bring me joy or sadness. It was like I was stuck in the ocean. Just below the surface and not being able to reach out. I could see people on the shore and I could swear they could see me too, but it was safer to let me drown. 

I deleted all my tumblrs too. All of them. I didn't want anything to do with this place. I moved to twitter for a bit when I got lonely but that didn't stick. I had a few odd conversations but Twitter isn’t really the best place to talk about things I figured. 

I tried to get myself to draw and write again but I couldn't.. I just couldn't.  I tried but every time I opened a word document or put pen on paper I'd get antsy and panic-y.  I couldn't bring myself to create anything at all. Not writing, not art, nothing. Even drawing original characters or other fandom stuff. I couldn't. 

I was and still am too afraid to share anything with anyone.  My brain goes through a whole series of 'what ifs' when i'm trying to write or draw. "What if they like it and we get talking and I mess up again." or "What if I put a lot of effort in a work and people will ignore it on purpose because they know it's me?" those kinds of thoughts.  

My whole memory is warped. What really happend and what did my brain make up. I am not saying I’m not to blame for things, either partly or wholly but I NEVER had the intention to hurt people on purpose. I’m not hiding behind anything but fact remains that I am socially malformed. I don’t understand things. I spend the first 16 years of my life basically talking to no one and when I did.. I was the ‘weird kid’ or I heard my peer saying ‘Don’t talk to the freak.. so weird!’  I was never raised to be social and then I was dropped in a very social group full of very colourful people.I didn’t know how to handle it and it drove me literally nuts. 

I feel into a deep depression and the last two months of 2018 are a haze for me. I barely remember anything. I don’t remember Christmas, I don’t remember New Years. It’s a blur.  I almost died a couple of times, it's no secret. And for that I have the permanent reminder...  I'm glad I didn't do it though.

Now it's 2019 and 2019 is almost over; how am I doing now? 

Not much better. I still have the fear to create. I want to but I can’t. I still barely touch my socials because of my paranoia of people finding me and the whole circus starting again.  I use my instagram because of cosplay commission stuff and I only use my Twitter to support some artists on there. Even then I keep this ‘neutral-someone-everyone-can-like-persona’ just this safe ‘brand type’ posts. 

I'm only back on Tumblr for this and I won't be coming back. This isn't a revival tour. It's like one last song to send everyone on their way. 

Please leave others alone. I truly am not on Tumblr and do not plan to come back not now or ever. I do not have a sneaky hidden blog. All the blogs I used to own are either dead or I just gave it to people who used to own blogs with me.

It's very painful for me to write this all out. I know I'm missing a lot of parts. To summarise;  while I did some things that I'm not proud of. I cannot believe the lengths people went to to make me feel horrible about myself. 

I cannot believe you guys would share some things about me that I wanted to keep private. That I thought was pretty private and you would understand.  I'm sickened by the lies told about me and disgusted that it's still going in 2019, almost a year after I deleted everything. 

I gave my new discord to people and those people never accepted and that's fine, it hurts but it's fine. I never bothered them or sought contact. I will admit that I once accidentally send a snapchat to someone.. but I promise that was an honest accident. I didn’t mean to. But I just don't get the feeling the same thing is happening and I have proof from people that I'm right.  

Can you not post my trauma for all to see? That's not justice that's just being a dick... I have no other word for it. Being an evil dick. I never spoke badly about any of you after the whole thing. I will admit that .. in my anger when it all was going on, I did vent to people and TRUST me I regret that. I thought it would stay between us but it leaked.. 

Do the same for me and please have the decency to apologise for the things you did and just..  stop putting my private shit online without my consent. What I shared, I shared because I felt I could trust people. It was never about sympathy because I do not want it. 

You gain nothing except the satisfaction that you gave me a kick again by sharing it. Which is a horrendous move. You’re not getting even, you’re winning at being a dick.. 

I want to be left alone. I want that confirmation of 'hey we're leaving you alone now'. I want to go back before I was paranoid. It’s not a fun thing. It’s maddening to think something behind EVERYONE’s action. Deep down.. I know better but I can’t stop. It’s a problem and I’m working on it.

I want NOTHING to do with Pokemon OR it's fandom.  I won't be purchasing games or other media from it. I just gave away my copies of the 3DS games to people who wanted them. The whole thing is too triggering to me. 

I wish I could pick up a pencil or pen and draw and write again without having a panic attack and I wish I could show myself on my private social media again without people watching me. 

I know you guys doxxed me before using my Facebook- It's not weird of me to think people could do it again.

I don't mind it, if you hit me up and talk to me via this blog. You can reply to this post or just us DM.  My only rule is to be civil. I am being civil too even though I feel empty, numb and sick. 

And finally.. I apologise for EVERYONE who people thought were me. You don’t deserve that. No one does. 

Well I guess this mystery is solved, what happens next is wholly up to you. I am not going to reach out myself. I made that promise. 

I’m posting this because I have nothing else left to lose. Please show me you’re capable of human decency.  And some things only God can forgive. That goes for me too. 

And just to proof it’s me; I will be tagging this post as I always did; using my old tags. 

[cami-chats]

Not Rock ‘N Roll Good

A/N: A modern Sandor/Arya fic so I can dabble in their characterizations. I think it’s obvious but just in case: lots of language ahead!

Tags: AU- Modern Setting, Wrong Number, Getting Together, Time Skips, Blind Character, Blind Arya Stark, Identity Reveal, Minor Sexual Content

Sandor's phone chimed with a message, and he frowned. Anytime someone texted him, he was suspicious. He pulled it out and checked.

Unknown Number: Dude where the fuck are you?

Unknown Number: And you don't get to be mad at me for cursing at you because you're THIRTY MINUTES LATE

He didn't have plans with anyone, and certainly not with someone whose number wasn't in his phone, so he ignored it. It was a wrong number, they'd figure it out soon enough. Sandor turned back to the computer and looked over the schedule. Bronn was going on vacation-- or so he claimed, frankly Sandor thought he was a fucking liar-- and with Ygritte reducing her hours so she could make her internship, they were stretched thin.

Unknown Number: Are you going to show up?

Great, this person was being stood up, and Sandor was going to have to be the one to break the news.

Unknown Number: Ramsey?

He sighed, typing out a reply. To Unknown Number: Think the arse gave you the wrong number mate.

Unknown Number: Of fucking course he did

Unknown Number: What a gods cursed cunt

Unknown Number: I should have known better than to make a date with someone I met at a club

Unknown Number: Sorry dude but I'm pissed. I had to cancel with my study group for this dick

To Unknown Number: It's fine. Vent all you want maybe it'll distract me from this boring shit.

Unknown Number: WELL IN THAT CASE

Unknown Number: Jk

A little bubble showed up to signal they were typing again, and Sandor gave up pretending to look at the schedule. He already knew what was going to end up happening: he'd ask Gendry, Gendry would look at his schedule and have to say no, and Sandor would cover it himself.

Unknown Number: I know you don't know me, but it's not like I welcome random arse people to hit on me. He had to go out of his way and spend TIME convincing me to agree to this, and then he doesn't even show up.

Unknown Number: And I only agreed because it seemed like he'd hop into bed with me.

Unknown Number: I just wanted to get laid.

To Unknown Number: Have you tried sex toys? They're better than most people think.

Unknown Number: Oooo personal experience talking?

To Unknown Number: Yes. People are disappointing.

Unknown Number: Well, you're not wrong.

To Unknown Number: When was the last time you were actually satisfied with someone else in bed?

Unknown Number: Not sure it's EVER happened. Mostly I get pity fucks.

To Unknown Number: Sounds shitty. Sorry man.

Unknown Number: Woman actually. Not that I care, but I thought it was weird that you might think I'm a guy.

To Unknown Number: Well I'd offer to have sex with you but I'm busy

Unknown Number: Lol

Unknown Number: I'm willing to wait for you to be free ;)

To Unknown Number: Might be waiting a while.

Unknown Number: No offense, but does it look like I'm in a big hurry? I've got a shit ton of time to spend waiting.

Unknown Number: But I can't wait rn cause my hero in a car has come to pick me up. Talk to you later future-babe.

Sandor shook his head, mouth curving up into a smile as he set his phone to the side. Chances were that they wouldn't talk again, but it picked up his mood enough that when he got home, he made himself food instead of eating canned stew cold because he was too lazy to put it in a bowl and then the microwave.

*

Sandor carried his phone with him while he worked in case there was an emergency or someone needed to call in sick-- he really fucking hoped that no one did that today because it was busier than most Monday's. Everyone that wasn't an employee had notifications muted while he was working at the gym, so it wasn't until he was taking a lunch break that he saw the _ unread texts he'd accumulated since getting up this morning.

Unknown Number: I'm beginning to think that someone put a sign on my back that says 'please bug me straight boys'

Unknown Number: Seriously this is getting ridiculous ffs

Unknown Number: Aha! Mystery solved, my sister Sansa has been at work here. Well, her and her girlfriend Margaery.

Unknown Number: My name's Arya btw. It seemed weird that you knew my sister and her girlfriend's name but not mine.

Unknown Number: All these mediocre bastards are reminding me of our future plans together, and all I have to say is that I'm glad we have this (joking) agreement. Cause not once in our ten minutes of conversation did you objectify me. A high bar, I know.

Unknown Number: You should tell me your name when you see these so that when I ride my dildo tonight I can think of you ;)

Unknown Number: Gods I hope that wasn't inappropriate.

Unknown Number: Sorry if it was, I was just trying to make a joke.

Unknown Number: You know, the more I think about it, the more it seems to have been in poor taste.

Sandor added her as a contact under 'Arya, the horny one' so that he'd remember.

From Sandor: Name's Sandor. If you haven't changed your nightly plans, that is He paused, then added a winky face before he sent it, just to be sure she'd know he was joking.

From Arya, the horny one: Oh thank the gods. I have like two friends, I didn't want to lose you

From Sandor: Am I friend #2 or would I be added as #3?

From Arya, the horny one: Don't be so nosy.

From Arya, the horny one: I'm sure you'll figure it out someday.

Sandor snorted and put his phone back in his pocket.

*

Incoming Call From Arya. Sandor checked the screen, then frowned. They'd never called each other before, and it was late. What was she doing calling him at this hour? "What."

"Saaaaandor you answered! See Sansa I told you he would, suck my dick."

Inexplicably, he was amused. "Are you drunk?"

"Only a little. If I drink too much I can't walk straight and I bump into all kinds of shit. Nearly got ran over once."

"You did get run over!" a different woman's voice said, coming through the phone's speaker.

"You got run over?" Sandor asked, even more amused than before. Drunk people annoyed the hell out of him and he didn't have the patience for it, but right now was different. Maybe that was because he was finally hearing her voice, and while she was definitely a woman, it wasn't high-pitched enough that it felt like his ears were bleeding.

"It was a tap," she argued. "I didn't even need stitches. I've given myself worse trying to do fucking needlepoint."

"You do needlepoint?" He found that hard to believe.

"Fuck no, that's why I was able to convince my mother to let me stop. It wasn't worth the cost of bandaids."

"Sounds safe."  

"You've got a sexy voice. Did I tell you that? I feel like I forgot to tell you that. I was busy proving a point to Sansa and got distracted."

Sandor snorted. "If you think my voice sounds sexy, you really do need to get laid."

"Is that an offer?"

"Fuck no. You could do better."

"Pretty sure we got talking because I haven't been able to do better. And what do you mean 'fuck no'? I'm a bloody catch, you twat!"

"How would I know? I haven't seen you."

"Well there's an easy solution to that. You free this Sunday? And I ask only to make sure you didn't make plans with your friends, I know you have the day off work."

"My friends are all working," he said drily. "I never have plans."

"Great, then you won't mind meeting up for coffee. Say, ten in the morning?"

"You want to meet me?"

"I don't know what- shut it Margaery I can walk and talk at the same time, bugger off. Pretty sure I've made it clear I want to fuck you, coffee is nothing."

"I ain't pretty, Arya. I don't know what kind of Prince Charming you've been imagining."

She snorted. "Yeah that's not gonna be a problem. I'm attracted to your voice and your personality, trust me, that'll be enough."

"I'm a miserable old shit." That much, he was sure of.

"All the more reason to get both of us laid. Happiness is one good round of sex away, do you really want to turn it down? Sunday, ten o'clock, the Godswood. I'll be the one with brown hair, a cane, and silly yellow sunglasses. If you're gonna be more than five minutes late, text me or I'm leaving. See you- seven hells Sansa! I was almost done mind your own fucking business. Bye Sandor see you then!" she called out hurriedly, like the phone was being taken from her.

"Er- bye." He hung up, then stared at his phone, bewildered. Guess he had a date. He didn't want to see what Arya's face would look like if her expression was just going to twist in disgust from his scar. He wasn't telling anyone about this. Bronn couldn't keep his fucking mouth shut, and Gendry would be all hopeful and give him that stupid puppy look and tell him that maybe he would fall in love and be happy. What a cunt.

*

He thought about dressing up.

He decided that was stupid.

He ended up in jeans and a worn, long sleeve shirt with his hair pulled back-- no point in trying to hide the burn scar. What was he doing? This was stupid. He wasn't so far removed from reality to believe that she'd run screaming, but it was going to change things. Arya didn't believe him when he said he was an ugly fucker, but now he was going to get to see her reaction up close and personal. Fuck everything. He still grabbed his keys and left the flat, heading towards the coffee shop she'd told him she would be at.

Fuck it all, he didn't even like coffee. Maybe they'd have something without that bitter shit in it.

Sandor grumbled to himself the entire trip there, but he showed up and that was rather telling. The shop wasn't packed, but it was comfortably full. They'd be able to have a conversation without the employees overhearing every word they said. It would also make it harder for him to find her, but what the hell. With a face like his, no one would be surprised that he was here for a blind date, and they sure as hell wouldn't be surprised if he got stood up. Not that he thought Arya would do that.

Brown hair, yellow sunglasses. She'd also mentioned a cane, but chances were he wouldn't be able to see it walking around like this. He passed three different hipster couples, and five single hipsters. Fucking hells he felt like he was going to lose his mind. Brown hair, yellow sunglasses. Brown hair, yellow- aha. Shit she hadn't been kidding when she described her sunglasses as 'silly'. They were large and garish and in the shape of stars. She had her dark hair pulled back in a half-bun, and the cane she mentioned was resting between herself and the wall. There was no drink in front of her, and her elbow was propped up on the table, resting her chin in her hand as she stared into space. She was pretty. Too damn pretty for the likes of him, but he couldn't turn around now.

"Arya?"

She turned her head. It didn't seem like she was looking at him, more like she was looking a foot from where his chest was. "Sandor?"

He cleared his throat uncomfortably. "Yeah that's me."

"Great," she said, grinning. "Have you gotten a drink yet? I hope not, because I'm buying." She reached for the cane and stood, and that was around the time Sandor realized it was a familiar white style. She reached out her hand, and he moved automatically, standing next to her and guiding her hand to the crook of his elbow. They started to walk. "So, did you need a drink or are you just enjoying me hanging off your arm?"

"Both."

She snorted out a laugh.

"Few steps to the line," he warned as they slowed down.

"Know what you're getting?"

"No."

"You don't drink coffee, do you?"

"Not... usually," he hedged, and she laughed, but not cruelly-- which had been Berric's reaction when he learned that Sandor didn't drink coffee.

"Yeah most of it tastes like shit. I get the turtle macchiato because it's so sweet I can't taste anything else. Do you like sweet drinks?"

He made a face and said nothing. Then he remembered that she couldn't see him and said, "Not really." He liked sugary sweet, but dessert sweet tasted like liquid cavity and he hated it.

"And you don't like coffee." She hummed, thinking it over. "I think they have tea if you'd prefer that."

He grunted and scanned the menu. They had lemonade, he'd probably try that. The line moved forward, and he urged her to take a few steps, which she easily did.

"I'm not what you expected, am I?" she asked, a bitter note in her voice.

"No. You're a hell of a lot prettier."

She sighed. "You are sending mixed signals, Sandor."

"I am?" he repeated, confused. He'd thought it was pretty clear that he was happy to be here.

She gave a tense shrug. "You're not talking much."

"I'm talking more'n I usually do."

"If you don't want this to be a date, you can say so. We'll just be two friends meeting up, there's no harm in that."

"I don't talk much," he said. When that didn't comfort her, he added, "I wouldn't worry about it."

"If you say so," she said, which was noncommittal, but her mood picked up again.

A minute later, he told her, "It's our turn."

"Hey Arya," the man behind the register said.

"Hey Sam."

"Getting your usual?" Sam asked.

"I have a usual?"

"Large hot turtle macchiato, right?"

She groaned. "I've become predictable. This is like a nightmare."

"I wouldn't say totally predictable. Who's this with you, hm?" he asked, glancing at Sandor. His eyes darted to the scar, but he didn't look overly bothered by it. That was a nice change.

Arya snorted even as she leaned into Sandor's side. "Like you wouldn't tell Jon everything I say."

"I might not."

"Man," Sandor said, "I hardly know you and even I can tell that's a lie."

He gave a sheepish smile. "Well, he is my best friend. Anything for you today, Arya's mysterious friend?"

"Lemonade."

"What size?"

"Make it a large," Arya supplied so that he didn't have to worry about it.

Sam nodded, writing the order on a cup and setting it to the side. "Anything else?"

"Not for me." She angled her head towards Sandor. "Did you want a pastry or something."

"I'm good." Pause. "Thanks."

"Okay." She reached into her pocket and pulled out her wallet. It was a simple billfold, and Sandor noticed there was braille on the front of the card. Then he averted his eyes because what the fuck was he doing looking at her bloody credit card? She handed it over, and Sam swiped it, delivering it back to her waiting hand. When the receipt printed, he pulled it off and threw it away like he'd done it a hundred times before.

"Alright, you know where the hand-off bar is, Edd'll be the one down there today."

"Thanks Sam."

A few people stared at the pair of them, but for the most part no one cared. Sandor had dealt with far worse, so he ignored them without a second thought. Arya had probably dealt with worse too, even if she couldn't see the people currently staring.

*

Somehow one date turned into two, turned into eight. Sandor actually left the gym for lunch now, meeting Arya at the nearby deli every few days so they could eat together. The joking about sleeping together seemed less like joking and more like a legitimate question when Arya said it now.

Sandor shrugged uncomfortably, and Arya could feel it because she was holding onto his arm at the moment as they walked down the street. "We haven't known each other long."

"Oh please," she said, and Sandor got the sense that she was rolling her eyes. It was hard to tell through the dark lens of her sunglasses, but her tone made it rather clear that that's what she was doing. "We've been texting for four months, and seeing each other in person for another month. I think that's plenty of time. You weren't half as shy over text."

"It wasn't a possibility back then," he grumbled, and Arya sighed.

"If you don't want to, we don't have to. If you don't find me physically attractive- well, first of all fuck you, but that's fine too. I don't mind waiting as long as I know that's what I'm doing. But if we're not fucking because you think I'm not interested or some shit, you need to let it go."

"Of bloody course I know you're interested. You've made it pretty damn clear."

"So what is it? Are you not interested?"

"Course I am."

"Then what's the hold up?"

Sandor grumbled an answer under his breath, knowing full well that she couldn't understand him.

"What?"

He sighed and said it again, clear enough for her to hear this time. "It's been a while."

"Aww are you nervous?" she cooed. When he didn't joke back, she dropped the teasing expression and tone. "Wait, seriously? Sandor, there's nothing to be nervous about. I have complete faith in your ability to fuck me blind." She paused. "Get it? Blind?"

Begrudgingly, Sandor found himself chuckling.

"Listen, I remember telling you that my sex life has been pretty lackluster. Even if it's not good, I've definitely had worse. And besides, those were one-off's. If the first time sucks, so what? The second time'll be better. All of this to say that I don't think you'll be bad, but whatever, I doubt you'd listen to me if that's all I said."

"Yeah."

They slowed down for a crosswalk, conversation pausing in the presence of other people that would clearly be able to hear them. The light changed, and they started across, waiting a little longer to continue the conversation so they could get some distance.

"How do we plan that? I work all the fucking time and you have a roommate."

"You say that like we don't have time, right now, on our way to your flat."

"Right now?"

"Why not?" she asked, having to step away for a moment to avoid a shop's sign.

"It's the middle of the day."

Arya snorted, retaking her place by his side. "And you care? If you think you're going to be shit and shoot off early, then there's no reason why we should carve out three hours of an evening to do it."

He glanced down at her and found himself wanting. That wasn't anything new. She was not only bloody attractive, but willing. "Fine."

"Is that a yes?"

"Yes."

She grinned, holding herself just that much higher as they walked.

It took several more minutes before they reached Sandor's flat, and he cleared his throat before uncomfortably offering, "Did you want to come in?"

She squeezed his arm in comfort. "I'd fucking love to."

They walked to the staircase, and he gave it a look, counting the steps hurriedly. "Ten steps, then a landing a meter long, then seven steps."

"Thanks."

Normally Sandor took the steps two at a time, but with Arya on his arm he took them the usual one at a time, feeling like he was moving at a snail's pace. Soon enough though, they were at his doorstep and he was unlocking the door. Despite all his arguing and this being the first time Arya had been to his place, he'd cleaned it up a long time ago and kept it that way. He didn't leave shoes and random bits of rubbish out anymore, making sure they weren't in the way for her to trip over. "Entryway's a few feet wide. You can leave your shoes on the right."

Arya tentatively poked her cane in that direction, the tip of it going over his shoes then the empty space of floor. She kept her cane in place as she slipped her shoes off and nudged them into place, using her toes and cane to make sure they were out of the way. "Show me around." She kept the cane in her hand, Sandor on one side and her cane in the other to watch that side.

He walked the perimeter of the living room and kitchen, making sure to detour inside so she knew where the tables were.

"And your room?"

He cleared his throat and they started walking again, down the short hallway and into his bedroom. There was no art anywhere in his flat, and for once he didn't have to hear someone bitching about the blank walls. His blanket was a faded black, something random hookup's always gave him a disappointed look for. Fuck them, it was comfortable and in good condition; he wasn't going to replace it just because the colour was a little off. He walked her forward until the edge of the bed was touching their legs. "This is the bed."

She unlaced her hand from his arm and held it in front of her, slowly lowering it down until she made contact with the top of the bed. With the cane, she reached to her left until she found the edge of the bed, then went to the right until she found the other side. She started around one side, hand trailing over the duvet as she walked to the head of the bed.

"There's a nightstand a couple paces in front of you."

She slowed, edging forward until she could bump it with her knee. Arya took her cane off the bed and set it on the opposite side of the nightstand, then climbed onto the mattress. She laid down, wriggling to get comfy on the pillows.

Her legs were spread and Sandor had to swallow past his dry throat. She held out a hand, saying his name, and he went like there was a rope around his waist, pulling him forward automatically. He kissed her like it was all he wanted to do, and she wrapped her legs around him to keep him there.

*

"You're glowing," Gendry teased at work the next day.

"Fuck off," Sandor grumbled. There was no denying that he was in a good mood, but glowing? That was a load of tripe.

"So when do we get to meet her?"

"As soon as she wants to meet you." Sandor looked directly at him as he delivered the next statement. "Which is never going to happen."

"Aw come on, mate. Anyone that's willing to date you has a thick enough skin to meet your friends."

"We're not friends; you're my employee."

"We're the closest things to friends that you have. You're grumpy as all seven hells, and you spend all your time here, making sure everything's working smoothly. Where are you going to find quote unquote 'real friends'?"

"I managed to find a girlfriend."

"Yeah and I'm still not convinced that wasn't an accident. Who is this magical girlfriend of yours anyways?"

Sandor rolled his eyes. "She's not magical. Stop whinging and get back to work."

"Yeah, yeah. You'd think getting laid would make you nicer."

But of course Arya chose that afternoon to spontaneously visit him at work. Which is to say that she didn't text or call, but Sandor was walking from the class rooms towards the rock wall to make sure everything was running smoothly, and he heard her talking to Gendry.

"What are you doing here?" Gendry asked her. Sandor couldn't see them yet, but sound bounced easily through the tile floor and clean walls.

"Gendry? What the fuck are you doing here?"

"Uh, I work here, and I know you hate exercise."

"You work at a gym?" she repeated doubtfully. "You're a twig, not a body builder."

"I'm not as small as I was the last time you saw me."

"Mhm," she said, clearly not convinced.

"Come on Arya, that was back in high school! You've grown a lot since then too. And you still haven't told me what you're doing here. Not hoping to catch up with me, I take it?"

She snorted. "No, but maybe we should schedule that in some time. I'm here to see my boyfriend. Who's definitely not a twig."

Sandor finally rounded the corner and saw Arya and Gendry. Arya, looking the way she always did: stunning. And Gendry had his flirting face on which made Sandor want to pick him up by the scruff of his neck as if to say 'seriously?'. Gendry had people hitting on him every week, but he was going to pick an old high school friend out of everyone in the world. "Arya?"

She turned towards him with a smile. "Sandor!"

"Sandor?" Gendry repeated, looking between the two of them. It was clear when he got it, because he straightened and took a step back. "I can't believe you're his secret girlfriend."

"I'm not secret you prat," Arya said, "I'm just private." She shooed him with her hand, still angled in Sandor's direction. "Now go away."

Gendry rolled his eyes. "Yes milady."

"I may not be able to see but I can still kick your arse."

He beat a hasty exit.

"You and Gendry?" Sandor repeated, raising an eyebrow as he walked towards her.

"It was a long time ago."

"I can't believe he convinced you to date him."

"Eh," Arya said with a shrug. "We were best friends and I needed someone to bring to my mother's parties." She flashed him a smile, and he could tell that she was mostly joking. The message was clear though: she had cared for him, but it wasn't like that anymore and it wouldn't become that way again. He reached her side and tapped her free hand with his own in offering. She took it, sliding her fingers up his arm to curve around his elbow and not caring that he was damp with sweat. "Speaking of parties, my brother's birthday is coming up and every year my gift to him is a surprise. Showing up with a big, grizzly boyfriend is sure to surprise everyone."

"And they won't think I'm manipulating you or some shit?"

"I can be very persuasive."

"Really?"

"I can also be very accurate when hitting people with my staff," she said, which confirmed Sandor's suspicion that she had very little in the way of regular persuasion techniques. "A little reminder and they'll leave us alone. For a while, at least."

"Is your family always going to be so fucking nosy?" The thought was annoying, but his example of a family was a father that drank and gambled too much and a brother that abused him.

"Yeah probably. They just worry that I'm going to get hurt. Eventually, they'll figure out that you're the second best thing to happen to me and they'll chill out."

"Second best? What's the first?"

"Electric guitar. You're good Sandor, but you're no rock 'n roll."

[el-dibidibidorado1]

Untamed pt.5

A/n: sorry about the late update. I had a busy week.

Pairings: Bucky Barnes x Y/n plus size

Warnings: none

Masterlist

Today is the day I go on the small date with Bucky. Well it wasn't a date, he was accompanying me to the mall. Usually I would go the way I woke up because it was always packed and I just didn't have a reason. But NOW, I feel the need to look a bit decent. I mean it's Bucky! As i finished putting on some light mascara I heard the knock echo throughout the house. Quickly I put on some chapstick and run downstairs missing the last step falling straight to my side making a huge sound.

"Y/n?" He called from the other side of the door.

"Come in" I groan and slowly start to get up when a warm hand helps me.

"You okay?" I nod and give him a sheepish embarrassed smile.

"I'm a klutz" I laughed quickly fixed myself feeling my cheeks get red.

"You okay?" He again asked worried.

"Yep yep yep" I try to avoid his gaze as feel my shoulder bruise up. I grabbed my small backpack and beanie walking out closing the front door.

"Ready?" He nodded.

"You wanna drive or?"

"Your car" it was my mom's car, but who cares. Slipping into the driver's seat putting my backpack in the back. Silence filled the car and my hands began to get clammy due to the anxious air.

"Y-you can put on music if you want?" I looked at him and gave him my phone.

"Um you can go to YouTube or my playlist" my eyes went back to the road.

---------

How the fuck do you use this?! All I have is a phone that opens that Steve gave me, but this is is like a glass box.

"You okay?" She asked and gave me a worry look.

"I don't-" I handed her the phone and she took it while paying attention to the road.

"Sorry. I forgot about the lock" she said and gave it back. I began experimenting with it. This must be it? It has a music note. As soon as I open the note the screen filled with stuff. Music?

"So I just pick one or?"

"Whatever you want or just shuffle" shuffle? Just pick one you are embarrassing yourself. Anxiety rose and I choose one, she looked at me with a small smile and began humming along.

She quietly sang and my attention went straight to her. She smiled brighter and continued. She looked beautiful as always, it made me want to make her into a small size and keep her on my shoulder so no one would touch her. I feel like if I need to protect her.

"What?" She caught me looking at her.

"Nothing" I sat up and looked out the window avoiding her. Her music wasn't that bad, I understood the words that's what matters.

"Here we are" she turns off the engine and puts on her hat. Neither of us moved. Just complete silence.

"Bucky" she broke the ice.

"Have you...um..have you been following me?" Oh no.

"Do you follow me home?" Oh shit no.

"Or everywhere I go?" Holy shit No! This is it, isn't it, our newly forming friendship is over. Was there a friendship at all?

"I...." scratching my head I couldn't look at her in the eyes.

"You what?"

"Y-y-yes I followed you" she let out a huge sigh and hold my left hand. The metal hand. I forgot to put on my glove. The feeling of her small fingers was warm against mine. The warmth brought me peace until she pulled back and took the glove and put it on me. She wasn't afraid of it, and it brought me joy to know that someone liked my arm. Even when I fucking hated it.

"I was just curious, that's all." I let out a shaky laugh and we both got out of the car.

---------

Where do I start? Where do I start? My Christmas list was all folded and messy. Oh great, it's Tom's turn. Should I even buy him something? A warm breath shivered down my spine. I look to my right and see Bucky face right next to me.

"Yes?" I asked playfully. Bucky lookes at me, that's when I notice how close we are. I feel the warmth of his breath on my cheeks and his ocean eyes on mine.

"Tom" I point at my list and remove my gaze from his to look at the paper. He takes a step back, but inside I wish he didn't.

"Tom. Tom would like new clothes, no?"

"Yeah. Sounds about right." I nod my head and open the door to a jam packed mall. In the corner of my eye I see Bucky tense up.

"You alright?"

"Just a lot of people" he anxiously said.

"Here, hold on to my back pack so we don't get separated" he nodded and let out a small laugh.

"What?" I turn to look at him.

"Its adorable" oh god that smile. If he smiled more it can get him whatever he wants in this world.

"What is?" My face warmed up.

"The backpack. It's an elephant" he stopped laughing and touched the elephants ears.

"His name is Dumbo"

"Dumbo?" No way. No fucking way?! He doesn't know who Dumbo is?! He closed my mouth and chuckled. I didn't even know that my mouth was open.

"A bug is going to fly in"

"You don't know who Dumbo is?"

"No" I lost my shit. My hands where up in the air doing some weird shit.

"Am I supposed to know?" He laughs a bit harder that it melted my heart.

"Yea-" a lady bumps into me making me stumble.

"Jesus! What a bitch" I angrily mumble and I straighten my bag.

"Come on, let's go to get this over...." I walk in but turn around and face Bucky who is freaking enormous.

"Then I will show you Who Dumbo is, deal?" I stick out my hand and he gently holds it.

"Deal" that's when I hear his mechanical arm.

"Sorry it wines by itself" I let out a laugh and start walking to the nearest cheap clothing store. I feel a slight tug on my back pack and slow down for him to catch up.

The store was excellent for Tom. That picky motherfuckin egg (rich person), all he wants is designer clothing but my cheap self don't want to give it to him. What I plan is to get some shirt or jacket and sew the tag on it so he can feel proud of him self, also maybe he can give me more days off or something worth it.

"What are you going to buy him?"

"Hmmmmmm" I began looking at the shirts until I found one and checked out the price. Hmmmm Orange? Is that his color?

"Buck is Orange his color?" I cock my head to the side and look at him.

"No. It's purple? Blue? I have no idea Y/n" I take out my phone and call Rosie. Couple rings in she answers.

"Woah, somebody is up?"

"What ?!" She's angry.

"Babe, I was wondering what Tom wanted for Christmas?" I hold my phone against my ear and shoulder while in the corner of my eye I see Bucky looking at some sunglasses and trying them on. Looking smo-

"How the fuck am I supposed to know?" She distracted me.

"Well you know him better than anyone else in the damn diner"

"He kept on complaining about a damn scarf from one of them designer's clothing"

"Ahhh great" I put the shirt back on its rack and began walking towards the front desk to ask for scarfs.

"Bye"

"Bye bitch" i hang up my phone and try to look for the person who works here. Looking over the desk I see a group of girls sitting and gossiping.

"Excuse me" they didn't respond. I tied calling them once more but the bitches ignore me and I began to lose it. Bucky stands next to me putting a hand on my arm and slightly nods. I gave him a annoyed sigh and he pulls me to the side.

"Excuse me" his alluring voice catches their attention.

"What do you need, sweets?" A girl almost his height with a nicely portioned body (plastic) and red hair comes from behind the desk, and her two friends follow behind who look the same.

"Y/n" Bucky robs me away from them.

"Hmm" he motions me to say what I needed to say and pushes me gently to the front.

"What?" She urges.

"Hi. Um do you have any scarfs? For men?" I asked.

"I don't know? Did you look for them?" She rudely replied and checked Bucky out. Ohhh she's pushing them. She is fucking pushing my buttons.

"Do you have any or not?" I asked once more calmly.

"Are you deaf?" That's it! I'm going to jump over this desk and punch her shit te-

"Do you have them or not?" He interrupted me and the tone of his voice was a bit stern.

"Yes, sweets. They are in the back against the wall" she sweet talked to him. That cunt. Plastic cunt! I felt like jumping over but Bucky grabbed my arm and pulled me away. As he pulled me away I heard them mumble something about me, about how my body was and how i managed to get him. My anger and confidence disappeared, I felt embarrassed and disgusting. I might embarrassed him too, with my behaviour and just......me.

"There they are" he pointed and I moved from his grasp and looked for a bright colored one. What color did he like again? As I was about to ask Bucky I see the girls talk to him. It feels like high school all over. Hot guys talking to pristine girls. Then making fun of me, because of my body shape or just me being myself. After five minutes, I wanted the world to swallow me hole, but i didn't know that his eyes where concentrated on me and he smiled. And it took away a little piece of what I felt like at the moment.

"Ready?" He interrupted them. I nod and he takes the scarf approving.

"Ready to pay" as she got close to him, but he moved away to put the scarf around me and walked us to the desk. I take off the scarf and beanie to put my hair in a bun.

"Hold on" I quickly run and get the sunglasses that he was looking at and run back.

"Woah" she said about the marks and I pull my hair out of the bun. As Miss plastic was scanning the idems the girls continued mumbling about Bucky. A pang of jealousy hit my chest.

"Thank you" I sarcastically said and walked out with Bucky behind. He took hold of my arm and made me look at him.

"You look upset" he asked worried. My eyes slowly watered and my cheeks turned hot with emotion.

"Bucky...can we leave?" He nodded and I tried to bring the heat of my cheeks down. We got out of there and he got a phone call. I tried not to listen but it was a bit difficult.

"Can Dumbo wait?" He hung up the phone.

"Yep. Dumbo can wait" he smiled and it brought a small smile out of me. We arrived at his house and we bid each other goodbye.

Tag : @tnupsweetpie

[boysoverroses-blog]

Alyuin (1)

Alyiun Club:

You'd think that managing a business is easy and there are no troubles that find you, other than miscalculated reports. But not this one, for various reasons. One being, the business in question is a club and second, it is managed by 9 girls. It's safe to say they were pretty good at their job. The occasional fights break out and they resolve them pretty quickly, but this one needed a little more attention.

Sang Soo was behind the bar, bartending, it was her hobby and quite frankly she was good at it. It's also a great place to keep an eye on the customers. As she made drinks she surveyed the surroundings. Her eyes zeroed in on two guys, who were manhandling two of the waitresses that work there, Min Ji and Seo Yun. Sang Soo’s eyes were glued on the scene for a few minutes, her gaze hardening when she took in the girls uncomfortable state. She was about to ring the security when Yong Sang came out from the back.

“I see them but we can't do anything yet, they have already paid and should leave soon,” she spoke with a calm voice but you could see the hardness in her eyes. Sang Soo released a slow breath before turning her back to the crowd.

“If they don’t leave I am kicking them out. The girls are uncomfortable, they seem to know each other.” Sang Soo stated.

“Nevertheless I'll call Ji Mi out” Yong Sang threw over her shoulder as she made her way to Ji Mi’s office.

Sang Soo rolled her eyes and murmured, ‘I can take care of myself’, before huffing and finishing a margarita for a short blonde girl.

‘Clearly, you forgot about the in-ear piece because you didn't even try to hide your growling’ Rae Jae’s voice rang through Sang Soo’s right ear. She swore in her head and let out a ‘sorry’.

“It’s fine, I see them too, and it’s disgusting, I can’t wait for the show”

“There won't be one” a voice cut in before Sang Soo could reply with an eager ‘hell yeah’. Sang Soo’s eagerness died in her throat as she realized that Ji Mi had decided to join their conversation but was nowhere in sight.

“Somehow you manage to ruin my fun without even moving a finger,” Sang Soo grunted under her breath while shooting a customer a friendly smile as they decided to leave in favor of the dance floor. She turned at the call of another customer,

“Blue Martini” his voice cut through the loud music. She nodded and started making the cocktail before turning her attention back to the two guys. Je Ki’s voice cut through the earpiece asking whose voice is that and why it was that deep, but that was the least of Sang Soo’s worries right now, the situation wasn't looking very good.

“Do something or I’ll be kicking their asses out of here!” Sang Soo growled as she watched Ji Mi approach the two guys that were holding the two struggling girls. Sang Soo kept her eyes on the scene while also making the guy’s drink. When she got the hint that they weren’t budging and decided that it was the last straw.

“I am going in” she murmured before turning to the cat-eyed deep voice customer. He looked at her with an interested smirk.

“Excuse me, I'll have your drink ready in a minute, but I have to deal with a mild inconvenience first.” she excused herself before taking off her apron and sliding over the counter, making her way to the two guys she's been wanting to beat the whole time they've been here. The cat-eyed customer turned to watch what the cute bartender was going to do to the two gorilla-sized men.

“Is there a problem?” she menacingly asked. Ji Mi turned to her and said that they refuse to leave.

“She asked you politely to leave” she repeated with a glare.

“I see no reason for us to leave when we’re not done,” one of the buffoons said, still holding on Min Ji, who up close looked like she wanted to cry.

“Please let go of my employees and escort yourselves out before I call the security guards,” Sang Soo said sharply to the two men. Seo Yun literally looked so done, she tried to rip herself out of the man’s grip but he tightened his hold and she scrunched up her face in pain.

“It's against regulations to harass the waitresses,” Ji Mi said with a deadpan voice, her patience running thin.

“They’re not waitresses here, they quit.” the man holding Seo Yun spits out with a disgusting smile.

“You have no right to say that. You have no power over me anymore, we broke up. Get it through your thick dumb head” Seo Yun raised her voice, while Min Ji nodded her head.

‘‘How the fuck did you even know that they knew one another, Sang Soo?” Yong Sang asked her through the earpiece.

“Clearly, they’re uncomfortable and have already ended things with each other” Sang Soo said matter of factly and looked the intruders straight in the eyes “so, you should either get out on your own or I'll have to kick your asses out myself.” Sang Soo threatened.

The cat-eyed customer raised a questioning eyebrow. His attention shifted when someone took the previous bartenders’ position. Her name tag said, Hyo Gun. Her attention was on the scene before them. He turns back to see the two men face to face with Sang Soo and the brown haired girl.

“And how are you going to do that, bitch?” he spat in her face.

Sang Soo smirked at the curse word and buffed her chest even more “Well, you see, the security guard will take around 30 seconds to arrive here and in those 30 seconds I can dislocate both your shoulders and break your nose without breaking a sweat.” she nonchalantly said staring intently at them.

“You think you can take us?” the other one responded to her threat.

“Just try me.” she challenged. She could beat them up if she wanted to, but she doesn't want to start a fight. That would just end with her getting in trouble for initiating a fight with a customer. It would be better if the customer throws the first punch. Everything after that would've been a self-defense act and if anything she could get a bonus or a raise.

“Please, remove yourselves from the premises immediately.” she tried again. In a blink of an eye, one of the men threw a punch her way. Fortunately, she caught it with ease. “You leave me no choice.” she sighed, her face showed disinterest before it morphed into hatred.

The customer at the bar was caught off guard when she easily twisted his arm behind his back. He could vaguely hear the girl, Hyo Gun, behind him calling for the security guards.

Once the other guy processed that a fight had started, he turned to Ji Mi and moved his first in her direction. She easily avoided him, as he was more wasted than the man Sang Soo was handling. She hit the side of his head to disorient him. The two waitresses had already left the scene and gone to the back to report to Soo Mi since she's kinda in charge of damage control.

The two girls had kicked their asses when the security guards finally showed up. One of the two men was passed out cold while the other one had a busted lip. To say he was pissed would be an understatement.

“You're banned from coming here ever again.” Ji Mi calmly said. Sang Soo waved her hand sarcastically before returning to her post behind the bar. Hyo Gun helped around for a while before going to the back.

The handsome stranger was surprised, as he didn't think that this would happen. They were very intriguing. He turned to Sang Soo, who looked as if she didn't just beat a man twice her size. He had very good attention to details. He was watching the fight and he knows for a fact that Sang Soo received one of hell of a punch to her left side, which was unprotected. She had a blind spot, she didn't protect her left side. But he’ll give her props, she knew a lot based on her performance, and so did the other girl, which is weird. He knows for a fact that when they’re hiring they don’t look for a specific requirement, like knowing self-defence. He would know this since he co-owns this club. He isn't surprised that they don't know who he is, because frankly, he doesn't know them either, but they made an impression, so he's going to make Kyungsoo and Jongdae dig.

“I am sorry, can you repeat your drink again?” she asked him.

“Blue Martini” he repeated. She nodded and finished his drink a lot faster than before.

“I think you need to take your break” Hyun Jin came out, tying her apron and taking over.

“I know you say you’re fine, but Sang Hee wants to check on you, you were sloppy and he got a hit on you.” she continued knowing that Sang Soo was going to argue.

Cat-eyed stranger, Minseok, lifted his head slightly. He looked around and saw the security cameras that were stationed at every corner, then back at the new bartender. He could see the earpiece in her left ear through her hair. He may not know who he hired, but he does know what they provide to workers, and it's definitely not earpieces. He paid for his drink and made his way to the house. He needed to do some research, this wasn’t over.

“Fine, but he really was tipsy so his ‘hits’ were even that hard” she excused herself and made her way to the back only to meet Sang Hee half the way.

“You worry too much” Sang Soo muttered to Sang Hee, who was already peeling a bruise patch.

“And because I worry too much I saved you from internal bleeding last month, which means that you shouldn't have fought at all!” she huffed.

“I couldn't help it, besides I was itching for a fight. I haven't punched anything in the last three weeks.” Sang Soo whined.

“You’re a bartender, you shouldn't be fighting at all, we have security guards for that,” Rae Jae stated coming in the locker room.

“How come no one is scolding Ji Mi?” Sang Soo whined looking at a crossed arm upset Ji Mi.

“Oh, come on, not you too!” Sang Soo whined again.

“Control your anger” she commented. Je Ki came in and had a piece of paper.

“Well, congratulations! You kicked ass in front of the owner of the club.” she fake cheered.

“Look, I know we won't get fired. she sighed. “I think it was the blue martini guy” she added, catching their attention.

“Why?”

“The letter said, he’ll order a blue martini if he's satisfied.”

“Hey at least he was still satisfied.” Hyun Jin said.

“Fun” Sang Hee uttered. Soo Mi came in and looked at the scene and sighed before sitting down.

“The girls are okay, we’re relocating them to Love Shot just in case.”

[purplepatton]

heading straight for the castle - one

summary: logan sanders is a prince who wants nothing to do with the responsibilities the throne gives him. roman prince is a civilian who would give anything to be royalty. when an odd twist of fate leads them to meet, the pair realize something remarkable: they look exactly alike. from there they decide to switch places, wanting to see how the other lives. but a simple switch quickly becomes something more as things spiral out of control in the kingdom 

trigger warnings: none for this chapter, but if you need something tagged let me know!

artist: the stellar @keuwibird (find her amazing art here if you haven’t seen it yet,,, trust me it’s amazing)

beta: the amazing @logically-sided!! i want a give her a big shoutout because she helped me so much with this fic,, without her this fic would be shoved somewhere in the back of my wip folder lol. she was such a big help with everything, from fixing my grammer and giving me suggestions when i got stuck. she’s the real mvp,,, thank you again liz!!!

notes: so this is my big bang fic! i know i’m a little late posting (sorry about that) but better late than never! i’ve decided that instead of posting the story all at once, i’m just going to post a chapter every day (or every couple of days) because with school starting and work i don’t have much time to sit down and format everything properly lol (plus this gives me more time to make sure everything is ok lol) but, yeah! hope you enjoy it, because i had so much fun writing this story :))))

If there is one thing that Logan hates more than anything in the world, it would have to be sitting in on the council meetings.

Maybe it’s the way the members drone in pompous tones about issues that rarely hold value. Maybe it’s the way the members take ages to decide the proper course of action, when in reality it should only take them a few days. Or maybe it’s just because the meetings always seemed to happen when Logan was doing something he enjoyed, therefore taking away the precious moments he had to himself, which were few and far between these days.

Whatever the reason, Logan can feel his attention slipping as two of the council members begin an argument about taxes and the possibilities of raising them. It’s been the same argument all week; although this time the two decided to add insulting each other into the mix.

Logan can feel the disgust curling up in his stomach. He clenches his fist, and tries his best not to scowl outwardly because these people are supposed to be professionals. Yet here they are arguing like children. No wonder nothing ever gets done around here; everyone is too busy focusing on their own petty differences to make any significant changes.

Pushing himself to his feet, Logan storms out of the room and leaves the council to argue among themselves. Once he’s outside the doors, he leans against the wall and tries to bring his emotions under control. He needs to think clearly, and his emotions are only clouding his thoughts. He breathes out slowly and forces himself to relax.

“Wow.” A voice next to him says, sounding amused. “You lasted forty minutes in there. That’s got to be a new record or something.”

Logan has long gotten used to Joan’s habit of popping up out of nowhere, so this new appearance does little to phase him. Instead he turns towards his aide standing beside him and raises an eyebrow. “Only forty? I could have sworn it was longer.”

���Well, you know what they say,” Joan says, falling into step alongside of Logan. They head down the hall and away from the muffled voices of the council room. “Time flies when you’re having fun.”

Logan snorts, catching the sarcasm in their voice. Joan grins widely at Logan’s slip in composure, and Logan has to resist the urge to blame the council for his lapse in control. Instead, he rolls his shoulders back and asks, “Where to now?”  Because even he can’t keep his schedule straight in his head; not when there is so much to do and so much is changed at least five times a day.

“It’s one in the afternoon.” Joan says in reply, not answering Logan’s question at all.

That means that whatever is on Logan’s schedule next is something he should remember, and is probably something he’s been looking forward to. He furrows his brow and tries to think.

It hits him a few moments later, as they’re walking down the hall that eventually makes its way to the back of the castle. “Oh!” He says a bit too loudly, drawing the attention of a maid who happens to be hurrying past. He flashes her his smile usually reserved for the reporters before lowering his voice and addressing Joan. “I nearly forgot. I guess I really do need a break.”

“The great Logan forgetting something? Looks like it’s the beginning of the end.” Joan says with a faux expression of pity. “Best get your affairs in order because it’s all downhill from here.”

This time Logan manages to school his expression into something more neutral, although his lip twitches and betrays his amusement.

The pair follows the hallway until they stop in front of a rather plain door. It’s nothing special, just wood with a simple design carved into it. It’s rather out of the way from the other places in the castle, in a region that’s only really used by servants. Which makes it the ideal location for Logan and Joan.

Logan knocks on the door while Joan keeps an eye out for anybody who might happen to walk by. There is a slight pause before the door is swung open by a women with long brown hair and sparkling eyes.

She’s happy to see them, if not impatient. “It’s about time!” She huffs, dragging both Logan and Joan into the room and closing the door firmly behind them. “I was beginning to think the two of you would never show up!”

It is quite possible that Valerie Torres is an actual goddess.

She had worked in the palace as the head seamstress for many years, and had been with Logan for a good number of them. She was kind, hardworking and a rather good listener. Logan had spent so much time with her - what with all the suits and fittings he needed for the meetings and parties and interviews he needed to attend - that she quickly became one of the few people Logan actually trusted.

And when Logan had approached her with a half formed plan to gain some freedom, she had immediately offered her help.

Now she shoves a bundle of clothes into Logan’s arms and instructs him to change into them. He takes them and dutifully walks to the small corner of the room that’s sectioned off by a hanging sheet to change. He quickly swaps out his lavish clothes for the more ordinary polo shirt and jeans. He finishes adjusting his tie around his neck (an accessory he insisted on despite of Valerie's protests, because he is a serious person and serious people wear neckties) and steps back into the main section of the room where Joan and Valerie are waiting.

He stretches out his arms. “Well?” He asks. “How do I look?”

“Completely ordinary.” Joan drawls from where they are lounging on a chair.

Valerie frowns, walks over and musses up his hair out of it’s carefully styled position into a more casual and relaxed style. It’s not a complete change, but Logan knows from past experience that it’s enough of a change that people will need a second look to identify him. And the time it takes them to take a second look is just the amount of time he needs to slip away.

“There you go.” Valerie says, content with her work. She crosses her arms and narrows her eyes. “Are you sure you don’t want Joan come? I’d feel a lot better if they were with you.”

Logan rolls his eyes. Every time he goes out of the castle it’s the same song and dance. He’s had this exact conversation with Valerie many times, and each time it goes the same way. He doesn’t understand why Valerie expects his answer to change.

“I just want an hour to myself.” He says, frustration creeping into his voice. “I understand your concerns, but I’ve been doing this for so long now that the odds of something going wrong are infinitesimal.”

Valerie frowns because it’s not the answer she wants to hear, but there’s really nothing she can do to stop him. “Fine. Be careful.”

“You know me.” Logan says with another one of his faked smiles. “I’m always careful.”

The afternoon rush was in full swing, but Logan doesn’t mind the way people are swarming around him and pushing to get to where they want to go. He lets the flow of traffic push him along with the crowd,  not caring where he ends up.

It’s a nice sort of feeling, just wandering around and not worrying about where he has to be.

He’s visited this part of the city so many times that he could probably walk it blindfolded. As he rounds a corner in the crowd, he spies a small bookshop that’s a favorite of his. It looks rather empty, but Logan can’t remember a time when it had actually been full. It’s always half empty like this, which Logan likes because it means the store is quiet enough for him to focus on whatever he happens to be reading.

With his eyes locked onto the store’s sign Logan starts towards the store, not paying attention to where he’s actually walking.

Logan immediately regrets this decision as he proceeds to run headfirst into someone. It’s a painful collision, and Logan falls back onto the ground with a grunt. His glasses had fallen off in the process, and the world around him has melted into a blur of color and movement. He reaches around him, trying to find his glasses so he could see what was going on.

Someone is standing over him, and even though Logan can’t see a foot in front of his face, he assumes that this is the person he ran into because a steady stream of apologies is being directed at him.

“-wasn’t looking where I was going, are you okay?” A hand grabs his and hauls Logan to his feet. Logan was not ready for the sudden change of position and he wobbles slightly before regaining his balance.  

Logan tries to assure the person that he’s fine, but he can’t get a word in edgewise as the person babbles on. “You don’t look hurt, that’s good. I swear I didn’t mean to run into you, I was just in a hurry and you just sort of appeared and I-”

The voice cuts off for a reason Logan isn’t exactly sure of and he takes the opportunity to say, “I’m fine, thank you. I just need my glasses. You wouldn’t happen to see them lying around, would you? I’m afraid I can’t see anything.”

His glasses are shoved into his hand rather roughly and he pushes them onto his nose, feeling the tension that had been building up in his shoulders relax as soon as he was able to see. He looks at the person in front of him and the first thing he notices is the person’s expression.

He’s looking at Logan in shock and alarm. For a moment Logan doesn’t understand what could possibly be so worrying to this boy (who on a second glance looked around Logan’s age). Then he sees what the boy sees and his jaw drops.

The boy looks exactly like him.

Taglist (let me know if you want to be added/taken off): @basilstorm@artistfromthestars@storytellerofuntoldlegends@romananalogicality@verymuchanidiot @istolelittleredshoodie @dont-cry-croft @speechless-angel@thefamouszombiebouquet @wolfwalker100 @datonerougecookeh@virgilient @virgil-is-verge@impatentpending@zaisling@trixie85592 @sillysandersides @hamster-corn @adventurousplatypus @unring-this-bell @mymiddlenameisunderscore