#sorry i dont like john winchester

[fatallyaddictedtofiction]

My memory might be serving me incorrectly, but it hurts so bad when i think about Dean confronting Mary in her mind, and dean is listing everything that happened to Sam because of Mary's deal with Azazel, but he doesn't mention ANYTHING about what happened to him: not that he went to hell, was tortured for 40 years, suffered years of abuse from John, almost died multiple other times, became a demon, bore the mark of cain etc etc and i know those arent a direct result of Mary's deal with Azazel, but the whole reason Dean became a hunter was because Mary died and John forced him to, and if Mary hadn't have made that deal she never would have died so early.

I just find it so so interesting and self-depricating when Dean measures in "Sam-sadness" or "Sam-age" when Dean was there too and could so easily say it effected him too, but because Dean has grown up his whole life devaluing his own while protecting Sam to the point of self-destruction, he cant possibly say how old he was at the time, or what happened to him.

I dont know im pretty tired and delirious right now this may or may not make sense?

[sammygender]

of genderswapped sam and dean. who has the short haircut.

THE REAL QUESTION. i could see a case for either. short hair is probably more convenient for hunting after all....

i think dean wears her hair long as a kid because it reminds john of mary. you could make the case that he'd cut her hair because it reminds him of mary too much, but i can't see it really, i think he'd want to preserve the innocence he sees in girlhood that he doesnt seem to in boyhood (a la that whole journal entry about wishing he had girls and how sons have to be soliders). continuing that, i cant actually really see her cutting her hair short at all because it ties her to her mother in her eyes. i think girl dean is like so obsessed with mary. can you imagine like. her whole life is about avenging mary and she's her daughter and the only girl in the family now. she has no adult female role models except her dead mother. she plays into being john (still loves cars and classic rock and wears flannel and leather jackets and is generally 'masculine') but she still sees herself as mary. john sees her as mary too even though he expects her to act exactly like him also. so i think she keeps her hair long. she probably has childhood memories of mary brushing it and wants to hold onto them. i think she likes it long, and i think john likes it long, and i think it reminds them both of mary, and i think they both like that.

sam? well sam is a lot less invested in playing the Role that's expected of him, so. girl sam is victim to levels of misogyny previously unthought of especially in the way where both john and dean see her as soooo weak and little and in need of protection. and they probably rely on the girl thing a lot to infantilise her. so i can totally see her cutting her hair off in a Fuck You to john at some point. tbh i reckon girl sam would have hair like canon sam's later season hair. though rly i can see anything with sam. also i feel like she'd have grown up with a shortish bob because it's easier maintenance (for dean john winchester is NOT bothered with looking after sams hair <3)

also both of those answers are in an au where one of them's raised a girl and the other isn't. but if we're talking total femchesters? john having two daughters? need to think on this more but im still leaning towards sam. i think girl dean commits to being a Girl the same way canon dean commits to being a Guy, even though both of them are shrouded in the same machismo. but sam fights any role hes given

tldr: sam

[lovyabug]

Maybe im too much like dean winchester bc why do i get soooo upset when i see john winchester hate...like yes he is a piece of shit dad yes he did a terrible job raising his sons and yes he deserves to be hated on sometimes BUTTTT. But. He *IS* still dean and sams Dad. They still love him despite everything. John still loved his sons despite how he treated them. And it just hurts seeing people so quick to call him iredeemable or evil

[lzrusrising]

i have such a love hate relationship with 2.1 like that episode couldve been so.

[hexedwinchester]

Supernatural S04E13 After School Special

at the start of the episode when Sam is talking to April she explains what possession felt like. I wonder if it took Sam back to the time he was possessed by Meg. He could see everything, wanted it to stop but couldn't.

okay but why is Impala's license plate different? It's not KAZ 2Y5 or CNK 80Q3. It's BQN 9R3. How plates did John change??

Colin Ford and Brock Kelly, the perfect young Sam and Dean! 😍😍😍😍

the little rebel in Sam to the bully kid: "Leave him alone." "I said leave him alone." And "yeah, sure".

familiar face: the blonde girl that's making out with Dean is the same actress that plays Caroline in TVD

still cringe everytime Dean says: three of the cheerleaders are legal. Guess which ones? Like dude, ewww! No!

Confession: I love Sam Winchester with anger issues! It's delightful to see him get pissed

yet another person Sam was close to was killed off in the show. It's sad, man. Really sad.

I'm sorry Brock Kelly, I was so busy gawking at Colin Ford's talent, I never noticed how amazing u were at playing Dean

I love Sam was honest with his non-fiction essay by writing about werewolf. I love how he must have described Dean as a character and John as driven. Sam Winchester, I love you!!!

i dont care what anyone says, Sam needed more interactions outside of Dean ok! The lovely exchange between Sam and his teacher is so beautiful because omg when he said no one's ever asked me that before. Nobody ever considered Sam important enough to ask him. They just hauled his ass everywhere

when his teacher says there are three or four bog choices that shapes someone's life and you gotta be the one to make them. Here's what I think those choices were for Sam: Going to Stanford. Going with Dean when John went missing. Trusting Ruby. And of course, jumping in the cage.

shut up, Dean! Let Sam talk to his teacher.

so Sam takes the beatings from the bully, doesn't fight back. Not until he calls him a freak

the part of the episode I don't like is this. They show Dirk as a jerk (in hindsight, the nickname makes sense) but then the narrative flips completely and it's somehow Sam's fault that kids picked on him. When in reality, Sam was just standing up for himself which in all fairness is fair

and they didn't use rope soaked in salt water ever again!?

what Amanda said about Dean was 100% true

love how the whole school is praising Sam. Sam, the man! You can tell from the look on his face this is the first time he is in this situation

Sam to Mr. Wyatt: you took an interest in me when no one else did (if this doesn't tell u Sam was a lonely kid, I dunno what will)

mr. Wyatt: are you happy, Sam?

Can I say I love this teacher because he asked Sam such simple questions but kinda put Sam into this questioning zone because he never asked those questions to himself. You know why? Because it didn't matter what he wanted or what made him happy! He was never given that choice

[bloodydeanwinchester]

not to parasocialise but i do kind of think jensen blames jared partially for the cancellation of spnwin (i think there are Many. Many factors that caused spnwin's cancellation. the fandom's distaste for john winchester, the lack of interest in a story focused on an m/f ship esp after november 5th, the lack of conclusion for cas's story, the lack of trust in jensen, the cw execs not appreciating the diverse and gay content in the show... but jared's reaction couldn't have helped)

sorry i have many thoughts

yeah. maybe. i mean if he’d been supportive from the start maaaaaybe more people would have watched but in all honesty the jared stans were never gonna watch a show that jared wasn’t involved in and a lot of the fandom does hate john too much to watcha show that they (wrongly) assumed was just gonna retcon all the john canon from the original show.

i think if anything what jensen blames jared for is his embarrassing and extremely public reaction to the announcement of the winchesters and all the drama that followed that. while jareds entitled to his feelings regarding not being involved in the show, NONE of that needed to be hashed out publicly the way that it was and i think we all can guess how much jensen hates those kinds of displays. so while im sure thats not the only thing that has pissed him off regarding jared im sure it’s one of the biggest ones and he hasn’t forgotten it. but like i said in my tags of that other post i dont think he hates him…i just think theres some lingering frustration and anger and resentment there that’s led to him making some jokes at jareds expense

[justjensenanddean]

Jensen Ackles and Jeffrey Dean Morgan | New Jersey Convention, Main Panel (April 16, 2023)

(x)

“hey dad! times been good to ya” (x)

when jensen and danneel had crushes on each other but were tied up with other people jensen wrote her a note that said “not now. but someday” and she still has it (x)

jdm was on jensens first date with danneel bc JENSEN INVITED HIM BC HE HAD NO IDEA IT WAS A FIRST DATE (x)

jensen: jdm got off a motorcycle in slomo and i saw hilarie’s jaw on the floor. she had no idea who he was (x)

fan: fav backstage moment from cons jdm: when i told everyone i was having a daughter bc i wasnt supposed to  (x)

jensen: when we announced the end of spn and at SDCC there were 7000 people and i told jared “take this in. this is it”  (x)

*everyone arguing over an answer* jensen; glad we figured that out. great job jdm: im still confused (x)

jensen got in trouble for sharing info abt a project last con so he will not be saying ANYTHING (x)

fan; SOLDIER BOY COMING BACK? jensen: uh…….no comment  (x)

theyre talking about their daughters jdm: mine will be the death of me jensen: one will be the death of me and the other will take care of me jdm; mine will be twerking over my grave jensen: HOW YOU LIKE ME NOW DADDY  (x)

.@JDMorgan : the year I did #Supernatural and Grey's Anatomy changed my life #SPNNJ (x)

.@JensenAckles getting the part of Tony in West Side Story in high school was life changing - after his baseball coach talked him into doing it. (x)

(x)

the drama teacher at Jensen’s school wanted him to be in the spring musical and his baseball coach was like “you’ve played with me for three years. go give this a shot i promise we’ll be in the front row”  (x)  a talent scout was at the play and told jensen that he had it and he should come to LA and he went “lol take a hike” (x)  THE ROLE WAS TONY IN WEST SIDE STORY!!! and his whole baseball team was like “woah ” (x)

jensen: getting into the industry is harder now that it was back then jdm: i dont even know how to get an agent now jensen: yeah dont ask us for advice  (x)

Question: Jensen, what was your favorite thing about soldier boy? JDM: the codpiece. *crowd laughs* JDM: sorry, I thought you were asking me.  (x)

the boots soldier boy wore on the show are the same ones that dean wore on spn. they’re called carolinas  (x)

jensen: jdm texted me when i was getting fitted and he was immediately like “SHOW ME THE COD PIECE” and i was like “perfect timing i have five of them lined up which one” AND JDM SAID “PICK THE BIGGEST ONE” (x)

fan; nash was amazing. is there hope for touring in the future for radio co? jensen: thanks it took a lot of drugs jdm: he’s not lying  (x)

jensen: touring might be aggressive but anything is on the table  (x)

jdm: i watched it online and i remember texting you being like “what the fuck is going on that was amazing” (x)

jensen looked at steve and said “this is a bad idea we should leave” right before going on bc louden swain KILLED and they didnt wanna follow that  (x)

.@JensenAckles : even tho it was a vengeful mission, John set out to right a wrong. In The Winchesters we wanted to show John before that trauma.  (x)

jensen says the pilot of spn “holds up today”  (x)

fan: whats your fav format to play in (movies, tv, voice acting, etc) jdm; whatever has the best writing. we knew supernatural was going to be good by the first ep (x)

jensen turns towards tv bc he doesnt know where it’ll go and where it will end (x)

jensen: ive done soap operas and that was 20-24 pages of dialogue a day (x)

APPARENTLY ONE TIME JENSEN TAPED JEFF’S DIALOGUE TO HIS CHEST AND HE WAS LIKE “WE GOTTA GET THROUGH THE DAY LOOK AT MY TITS”  (x)

JENSEN TALKING ABOUT FRIENDS AND HE YELLS “PIVOT” (x)

jensen: i heard “anyway you want it” in the car and almost got out before the second chorus hit bc i thought i was late for stage (x)

fan: go to karaoke song? jensen: have u ever done karaoke? jdm: never in my life. i think you asked me once and i said “goodnight 👋🏻 ” jensen: right but it was more like “goodnight 🖕🏻  (x)

(x)

[angelsdean]

how is dean not the same as john. in the later seasons i mean. sorry but describing him as "not an angry man" is insane to me cause dean's number 1 of getting out his emotions is anger. i love dean as well but like. you know john tried to be better too right? like i dont really understand how you extend this huge hand to excuse some of dean's angry/bad tendencies (which imo makes him that mlre interesting: the fact that he is angry and he's sometimes not a particularly good person) but refuse to extend even a sliver of this to john? obviously i get that you're attached to dean way more than john thats like common sense for us deangirls but genuinely. cas died and dean did turn into his father. its a thing that happened. i love dean and i dont understand how you can call yourself a deanlover but... erase so much of him??? like you can say he has bad qualities. thats what makes him human. john and dean are much more similar than you claim and its genuinely confusing to me why you don't see that. not trying to start a fight or anything i genuinely would like to get a piece of your mind on this

no no no you misunderstand. i am not erasing ?? his anger. he IS angry (it's just that anger for dean is rarely actually anger). i also think his imperfections are what make him interesting. i talk abt this a lot actually. about how i don't believe in flatting ANY character to prop them up as your fave. people being messy and flawed is good. the problem i have is people who do not look at dean w/ any nuance and just point blank go: he's angry therefore he's abusive and equals john without examining WHY he's angry, where that anger originates from, the fact that his anger most often is Not true anger for the sake of anger or violence. instead, his anger most often stems from fear and grief. especially during widower's arc. he's drowning in grief and as much as we love jack and can see in hindsight that he wasn't a threat at all, dean doesn't know that! we as the audience get the privilege of often knowing and seeing more than the characters! all dean sees at the time is a Very powerful being, who IS the son of lucifer, and who he believes manipulated his best friend and got him killed. he does have every right to be afraid and wary of jack. (and i'd argue he has the right to feel this way again with soulless jack, he IS afraid of him and what he might do and he's also grieving mary and that mixture of grief + fear is where his anger-but-not-really-anger comes from). like, because of the way dean was raised, because of growing up with the angry man that is john, the only emotion that was really expressed and "allowed" was anger. anger was justified. crying and sadness and fear, that's weakness in john winchester's household. but anger was powerful and masculine and good.

i also DO look at john with nuance as well. i've talked about how i don't like when people reduce john to a flat caricature or cartoon villain abuser. there's more going on, there's nuance, their dynamic is so complicated. john is Also, at first, drowning in his own grief. i think early on, john DID try, and was mostly motivated by a desire to protect his family, but he went about it wrong and imperfectly. however, where they diverge, is that john continued to let his anger consume him for the sake of revenge. he neglected his children, he put them in danger through his repeated neglect, and he did (based on various pointed insinuations) at one point or another physically abuse them, most likely dean specifically (the line abt flagstaff, also less "canon" but in the john's journal book john mentions how dean was particularly responsive to "discipline" and that john feels he's been too soft on sam)

the thing is, being angry doesn't make you a bad person. being angry is human. dean's anger imo, and the way we see it manifest--most often when what he really wants to express is grief and fear--is indicative of his internalized behaviors learned from john and past trauma that remains unresolved. this man has never had a chance to COPE or unpack not only the abusive and controlling environment he grew up in, but all the subsequent years of trauma INCLUDING his hell trauma. that's a lot. all those bottled up feelings are gonna turn into a lot of anger and frustration. he doesn't suffer perfectly. like you said, and which i agree, he is not perfect. he's flawed. he's human. but i don't think being angry and suffering imperfectly makes him a bad person. i feel too much empathy and compassion for him. i can see struggling and i want someone to help him. sometimes when people are in pain they'll say or do things they don't mean. and yes, they may hurt people in the process and those people are allowed to feel upset, but dean is also hurting. and i don't think he's a horrible person for not suffering the "right" way or not being a "good victim." and that's how i view widower's arc, as someone who is deeply hurting and suffering. it's not excusing his behavior but it's not villainizing it either. john gets similar feelings from me too, to a point. but john took things further and actively abused and neglected his young children and raised them to be soldiers and made them put aside their dreams and desires in the name of HIS revenge quest. he raised his children to live in fear and used fear and violence to control them. however, despite the fact that *i* don't particularly like john winchester, i know that his dynamic w/ his sons is nuanced and i know that dean both Loves and Hates him and that both those feelings can and do co-exist and i enjoy that duality.

dean's complicated emotions during times of intense grief and stress (widower's arc, losing mary, finding out chuck was controlling his whole life) are isolated moments but do not speak for his whole self. outside these high stress situations, where what he's really feeling is fear / grief / worry, we usually see dean to be very compassionate and patient and good with children.

this is getting very long now and i don't know if you'll take the time to read all of it but i'd like to conclude with saying my main issue with the "angry man in the house" phrase is the way it is used out of context to paint dean as becoming john and taking the place of the angry man in the house, when the original context of the quote is about being haunted by the angry man you grew up with, not becoming him. i talk more in-depth about all of that in this post.

also, just as an aside but, i generally have two "modes" of operating on this blog. one is fangirl mode where yea, dean is my blorbo specialest princess who can do no wrong<3 and then there's the other mode where i'm doing formal analysis of canon where it's more abt dissecting things and talking meta and looking at WHY characters are acting how they are. that's when i talk abt their flaws and motivations and nuance and context. also, people are often needlessly harsh or over-exaggerate things dean said or did in canon just to villainize him and in those instances yes i will go to bat for dean and "defend" him, usually by just, pointing out the nuances and additional context for his actions that many choose to overlook or misinterpret just to make dean seem worse than he actually was.

[minalblood]

I'm back and I'm so sorry! I won't make any promises for the last 2 ep of the Winchesters, but I will be reviewing/rewatching them anyways just ... who knows when, I dont!

But let's get started on You've got a Friend 1x11.

I hopefully will be a bit less rambly since O have a draft of my thoughts already written for this and its less... as Im watching (i can post that too if yall wanna but dunno if ull understand my handwriting)

We begin where we left off and I love that we have this scene of them needing to clean up, adds realism, adds dimension to the world. Love also that we begin with Lata being the Lata we all love - dejected in this case about her chimera paw was ruined. Queue Carlos with the teasing. The 2 of em banter a bit before Mary redirects us all to the matter at hand.

And Mary has come a long way in these episodes, because she may not join the banter (still closed off somewhat as opposed to Carlos and Lata's easy repartee) but she is going off of it and adding them into her area of interest.

But all stops when John come in blood soaked and in shock - Mary instantly worried he might be hurt, but nope, not this time.

I am so happy to see them portray the actual shock and numbness John is feeling, then the guilt and sadness, just all the reaction to Kyle's death really. And considering the survivor's guilt John is lugging around, it makes it even more heartbreaking. I also love seeing that Mary is the level headed one here - she,.imo, is clearly pushing down the grief to focus on John's issues here, hell we see very little of her grieving in this episode and everytime we do, she's quick to redirect that feeling into action - sometimes into violence point blank. She does it here, asking what the Akrida could want, she does it even moreso with Millie, where she does open up a bit since Millie is offering comfort, but then it turns into Millie coming with a plan which directly leads to Mary wanting to storm the police station guns blazing and the ep ends with Mary and John discussing Kyle (also god Mary looks absolutely exhausted here, fuck) but Mary derails it by saying they need to find Dean instead. She's def not allowing herself the moment to deal with Kyle's death which may prove relevant when discussing next episode.

I'd forgotten this ep was the Lata episode. Like ep 8 was Carlos', this one is Lata's. And god does it hurt.

1st, move the feather boa, Carlos!

2nd, I do genuinely believe Lata and Maggie were together. Everything in this episode points that way to me (but especialy the sweetpea nickname) We'll round back to this though.

The other thing we note in the sequence in Maggie's room is how close Carlos and Lata are to each other. Which we knew, but I always love seeing it again in action.

Before we continue with the emotional core of this ep, we have to get back to plot with Betty! I love Betty..I also can't blame her for being ....hesitant to say the least. Like imagine what she's seen so far: the guy who, before leaving to the marines illegally, proposed to her, is suddently interacting with, apparently, imfamous Mary Campbell, who is seen at several murder/investigation scenes suddenly appears ro have killed someone? And she already knows John had anger issues before hand. Like i get her here. And still shes trying to be nice while doing her job.

Which leads me to the next part, her job. So the detective... he's wording (even with him being really Akrida) echoes a lot of corrupt cop rethoric which only gets further emphasized when he later threatens to have John... killed 'accidently'. And, on top of them, speaking pf policw corruption even a 'good cop' like Betty becomes complicit simply because of the power the Akrida gained via the detective role cuz she was unwittingly helping them throughout.

But god, was John a bit too cocky here. (My notes have this marked as "this is why you let villains monologue, John!"). Especially since he actually doesn't have any info on Dean. (Love that we see the pic of Dean, missed him) l.

Meanwhile Lata and Carlos have found the bracelet and it's fucked them over. Also, I fucking hate the shadows thing, very creepy. Also also it reminds me of the daeva that Meg uses in s1 of SPN. I'm also reminded of SPN with the story the detective tells John about how they'll get rid of him - SPN's own crooked cop ep featured exactly this sorta plan too, but in killing Dean.

Really though, the main thing I found interesting upon rewatch is just how much Lata is our Dean mirror in this one. Specifically, in getting targeted by the bracelet she's forced to relive a trauma (Sania's death) via Carlos acting as substitute, only this time she succeeds where prior she thought she failed (which lemme make clear, no, Lata was at no point and in no way at fault, but she did internalize that guilt - much like Dean tends to internalize guilt) . Which Dean, much like Lata ends up doing when getting involved with this universe, ends up reliving a trauma (his parents death - Mary especially) of something he failed, in his mind, to prevent/save via rescuing this universe's Mary. And much like Lata, who can't undo what happened to Sania, but can "begin to make it better" (the Hey Jude line just hit me so I had to use it), so too can Dean. It won't change what happened in his life, wont save his mom, but it will help him heal nonetheless.

Adding to this Maggie? Who opperates as a Cas parallel here - she was Lata's person, who shared everything with Lata but Lata couldn't in turn for fear of judgement/shame, who notably is dead and thus Lata can't ever reveal her secret to. Well, it hurts is what it does.

But watching this I noticed another interesting thing though, for all that the bracelet seems to work like Osiris (pulling on the guilt the person feels is most agregious), the bracelet actually seems to want the wearer to get out. Carlos is taken just as Lata begins wondering which secret it's trying to make her face and is sent to Sania's room - direct answer. Then later,.even more blatant, using Maggie's face, tries to get Lata to disclose the secret, but Lata talks around it instead til the creature takes her too.

It seems like Erebus had a test for his warriors, one he wanted them to win.

Throughout all of Lata's story, I was seething. I truly hate her family and Carlos was 100% saying exactly what I was thinking.

Another thing I appreciated though, about Carlos, is the emotional maturity. Yes they were dying and yes it was urgent that Lata disclose her secret but Carlos made certain to reassure her throughout. Tried to give her as much space as possible.

In other thoughts, Lata's mom making that "vs family" distinction, uuuh it rattled sth in me only to them have Lata say "my parents would never look at m the same way"? In the Dean Winchester show? God, the echoes of John's shitty parenting were deafening. Bur yes to eveything Carlos said. It truly wasnt Lata's fault.

And I adore also the ending conversation between Lata and Carlos (both wearing blue and god I want Carlos' coat) because yes, this kind of stuff shouldn't be forced out on anither persons whim. Lata doesn't have to tell John and Mary anything, it is her story to tell, but also yes, Carlos is right to reassure her that if she wants to share it with them, they'll likely react well like he did. And yes the reason this particular scene hit so hard is partially personal, but because of that it drove me insane in SPN where there was a tendency for people to push other to open up at their own whim (and yes, Sam did it often to mutiple people, hounding them until they cracked and spilled whatever trauma they were trying to deal with but then have nothing to give in return, no comfort or even really reaction, and yes he most of all did it to Dean a lot and it did puss me off) So yea, love this episode for the Lata and Carlos of it all!

Also I have a few questions, when Millie was trying to convince Betty about the supernatural, at one point she said "it's not like-" and cut off. She was trying to defend against the accusation of 'playing make believe). Also, Betty says sth like "Mary, I expected.this from" with relation once more to her not believing in monsters soooo.... has Mary ever been taken in under suspicion of being delusional? Was Millie? Or John?! I've questions ok i need y'alls opinions on this one.

Also, I would've soo cracked if the Akrida asked about Dean, cuz I def miss him a lot and id fucking gush about him at that point.

Anyways, that's it for this one. See you guys next time where we'll be clowning (have I mentioned I hate clowns?)

@noybusiness thanks for push earlier this month, i needed that a lot and thanks for the support for this rewatch ❤

@shallowseeker thanks the new posts, been inspiring me to get back to writing this ❤

[adanmwere]

the Winchesters and their tswag

NOT wincest

trans headcanons I have for them, buckle in

mentions of transphobia; both internal and not, I'm trans myself and I am not very good at explaining the trans experience so excuse the mess this is

y'know, sam and dean Winchester the hunters yeah they're actually both transmasc and dean was the first one to acknowledge that he was in fact trans instead of both boys being born at birth well boys they were born in the bodies of girls (I don't entirely know how to explain this I am sorry even from my trans perspective I'm just stupid) nonetheless sam was more clueless but dean knew that sam didn't feel.. Comfortable in his body to say the least, and sorry to any John fans (if you even exist.. /lh) John would probably be transphobic towards the boys, I mean he was already a shit father in the show and it's just what I think if you don't.. Like that? Idk...i dont liek john :3.. Anyways! whenever john would leave for hunts dean had the ability to make sam feel comfortable in his own skin. he was his big brother after all, snice their dad was almost always busy hunting for ol' yellow eyes dean had to worry about sam acknowledging the real world at such a young age. He'd try his best just to let sam have a childhood unlike his. (Idk if this is already canon covers ur mouth) dean didn't start testosterone till around the time he was in high school, he backed down from it because what if dad found out, god what would he even think of him? his little girl becoming a man. that's not what John would've wanted. those thoughts ate deans mind up like a rabid animal on its prey. sam was clueless about things he could take to get more comfortable or even surgeries he could get (PLEASE EXCUSE HOW DUMB I AM AT THIS..,.,. 3:) it would take longer to accept he was trans he'd have to do his own research for a good bit to fight off his internal transphobia to accept his trueness (??? Is that even a word..) When dean and sam reunited (in the pilot you know) sam refused to believe that was dean, unlike dean who was proud of sam and of his far he had came. but sam had to quiz dean. dean wasn't his big sister anymore wasn't the "tomboy" he knew to love he was dean Winchester. his older brother who still was shorter then sam... Ironic isn't it?

[fatallyaddictedtofiction]

Acknowledging and ignoring the fact that Ketch was an awful person (pushed to be by awful people) in that one episode where he spent time with Dean (I think 13.18?) he acted more concerned and father-like than John ever did and this both upsets me as a human and interests the HELL out of me because (i dont rmb the british men of letters arc well so sorry if im wrong here) i didnt really see ketch as caring for Dean until that episode? Sure they worked a job or two together but he was never caring. And maybe it was selfish and only so Ketch wasn't alone in the AU but the amount of fatherly vibes i got from that moment was insane, and i never ever caught that from John, never caught a caring or healing aspect of John.

[smashstiel]

okay i found this super funny . first question everyones asking

also godddd transmasc dean . so . LOGICALLY i know it wouldnt make sense because john wouldnt raise him the same way probably . like yeah still be a hunter but i feel like he wouldnt see a daughter the same way hed see his son as his little soldier . idk i do not trust john to be normal about having a daughter so. BUT !!! ignoring the "got anything thats real? my boobs" and "dude i got re-hymenated" and like . other things he said . the!! making himself super masculine and stuff and not showing emotions and stuff . also im sorry for being insane but the whole oh im unloveable so i just do one night stands and drink a lot👍 bc hes weird and wrong cuz its early 2000s . also wasnt there a thing abt him wearing girls clothes when he was younger ?? anyway also esp early seasons his style . yes king layer up !! been there done that (3 layers at a beach in 30c) . also yesss t4t destiel !!! for me . sorryr im watching s4 ep10 and i love how when anna kissed dean they cut to castiel . hello . anyway for me cas is just like me fr . not ugy not girl not anything just chilling on his own . idk agender i guess but thats not just like me fr cuz i dont use that label . idk im going insane i was not made to sit in an office . anyway yeas trans man dean and agender cas t4t couple <33

also bc im bored and normal sooo normal . dean being soooo happy abt being tall . hey angst moment i wish i couldnt feel anything so true king<3 me when i see a guy who hates himself drinks a lot and cares abt other hey thatsme i love when characters are just like me fr<3 whatevr he was soo happy abt growing tall cuz imagine if he was shorter. like idk even if considered "tall" for a girl lets say idk 175cm. imagine him standing next to sam and his 193cm thatd be so funny . okay im done for now i think

HIIIII yes. yes. yes. yes

this is so funny "is castiel in love with dean?" dean after fanfiction episode googling 'supernatural' and 'castiel':

hmm i guess youre right. but. idk. its john winchester. maybe he just didnt care that much. or dean gaslighted him . (ok. but. the fact that he was named after his grandmother. like. if you have a firstborn son. normal people dont name them after their mothers. looking at you mary). trans kinggg!!!

tbh for me. idk im insane i read a fanfic like that once and i cant stop thinking about itt. like angels are super agender beings but . like. i csnt explain ittt right. but cas spent time on earth and kinda realized . that he actually likes being a Guy . though your version is alsooo so real bro is just chilling his ass absolutely Not caring. but considering its cas. he can absolutely be both at the same time

AND YEAAAH. if he was like 170 and sam 193. i think dean would just end himself. or sell his soul to gain more inchesssss KDJFJ

[ao3feed-destiel-02]

sour coffee

sour coffee https://ift.tt/ujoMOhH by Tornelia He was shaking. Just couldn’t stop. No matter how much he tried to calm down, he kept twisting the sheets in his fists and breathing heavily like he was about to pass out. He couldn’t stop. Castiel was laying next to him, sleeping– if you could call that sleeping – peacefully, quiet snores leaving his lips every other second. He looked completely content, after their sweet and intimate time filled with –ugh- love-making. And Dean was almost having a panic attack like a complete loser. Words: 10685, Chapters: 1/1, Language: English Fandoms: Supernatural (TV 2005) Rating: Teen And Up Audiences Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply Categories: M/M Characters: Dean Winchester, Castiel (Supernatural), Sam Winchester, Eileen Leahy (mentioned) Relationships: Castiel/Dean Winchester, Dean Winchester & Sam Winchester Additional Tags: Hurt/Comfort, Emotional Hurt/Comfort, Angst, Self-Harm, Established Castiel/Dean Winchester, Bisexual Dean Winchester, Top Castiel/Bottom Dean Winchester, no smut tho, sex is offscreen, sorry i dont know basic grammar, castiel sleeps, because I said so, Painkillers, Sexual Dysfunction, dean's dick doesn't work lmao, Arguing, Abusive John Winchester, Homophobic John Winchester, John Winchester's A+ Parenting, Panic Attacks, I Was Drunk When I Wrote This via AO3 works tagged 'Castiel/Dean Winchester' https://ift.tt/Odc2RLf July 07, 2023 at 04:37PM

[inkedmyths]

S1: E12 "Faith"

Brought to you by Crepe bribing me with Flight Rising money

[ Kayla asks if it was worth it to sell your soul to capitalism. Crepe said yes. I agree. I may have to endure on but now I have more money for my dragons. This will, unfortunately, always work on me. ]

Cuz you gotta have faith-uh faith-uh faith-uh

Oh we're starting out with the Winchesters? No mysterious deatb if some random person?

[ Kayla interjects with Carry On My Wayward Son. I get flashbacks to playing it on repeat when I initially began this journey. ]

Oooough closeeeet Dean I'm sure you're scared of that

[ Kayla asks Crepe if Dean does any homoeroticism in S1 aside from being too happy about getting pinned to a car. Crepe says no. This does not matter to me, I will make the joke anyways. ]

There are children! Hello children!

Ew what is that

UH Dean buddy that canNOT be healthy

HOSPITAL

HEART ATTACK???

Hi Dean! You look like shit!

:(

Dean you are too chill with your mortality but also Sam is WAY too not chill about it

JOHN WINCHESTER PICK UP YOUR FUCKING PHONE. BITCH

Sam. Sam no

I mean I know Dean is still sround for however many fucking seasons but

DEAN DID YOU BREAK OUT OF THE HOSPITAL. MORON

Why are you both stupid

[ Kayla says this is the parentified child vs child he parentified effect. Which. Yeah fair. ]

Dean: Sam what kinda crazy religion place are you bringing me to

DEAN STOP FLIRTING WITH EVERY LADY YOU MEET. DUMBASS BITCH

[ Kayla says that he's a whore and to leave him alone. That the sluttiest thing a man can do is be an older brother. Kayla is this some kind of kink for you. ]

GOD NO I DIDN'T EVEN GO TO ONE OF THESE KINDS OF CHURCHES BUT. HRGH. HORRIBLE. I want to leave

LMAO CALLED OUT DEAN

LAUGHING im sorry watching Dean get throwm on the spot. Poor dumbass

Go up Dean this is your personal hell now

[ Crepe says no, wrong season. Lovely. ]

Dean having that face that I feel so deeply in my soul whenever someone tries to preacg Christianity to me

FUCKING. HAND AGAINST HIS HEAD poor Dean's face shshshs

UHHH WHAT WAS THAT. WHAT WAS THAT FIGURE

Oh. Oh my god it traded his life for his

O h n o

This is interesting and good but its also so fucking spooky the vibes

Ohhhh something. Something wanted Dean to live.

[ Kayla and Crepe go back and forth about how Supernatural is technically a horror show, though this is dropped somewhat in later seasons. What the fuck did I get myself into. ]

What the fuck is up w/Layla (Leilah?)

Oh :( poor girl

And Dean was the one who got healed so he's :((

"Why do you deserve to live more than my daughter?" man

Dean's like 😟

Chick in the woods? Girl whats up?

Girl is abt to die for this old guy

A REAPER?

The music shdhdhdhsh

Thats pretty banger ngl. Whats this song anywas.... Death In The Valley?

NOT ME LOOKING IT UP ON SPOTIFY AND GETTING A PLAYLIST FOR SPN SOUNDTRACK?

DOG LEASH ON A GREAT WHITE

SCREAMS the guy handing out pamphlets "Roy is a fraud"

Dean: Amen brother

Sam: You keep up the good work!

Man: Thank you

God its so interesting storywise but also the vibes are Upsetting

Sam committing breaking and entering all by himself good for him

IS THE CHURCH GUY MURDERING PEOPLE HE DOESN'T LIKE BY SAVING OTHERS

HE IS. HOMOPHOBIC! LITERALLY

GOOOOOD SHIT FUCK nooo i dont wanna watch anymore I don't like confrontation and oough BAD VIBES

Im turning on captions hold on

LAYLA I KNEW IT

Noooooooooooo besties I Cannot

Guys this is UPSETTING

I keep pausing 😭

I'm like stop starting bc I would rather read than hear WHASGSFAFAF

[ Crepe is grinding in Coliseum on Flight Rising to pay me more so I watch more. I can't tell if I'm genius for this or not. ]

Oh the poor guy screaming and Sam being like WHAT ARE YOU LOOKING AT

Oh I stopped started so much Netflix crashed LMAO

Hrrrgh yeah yeah ok compelling but I want to crawl up a tree

Oh shes still praying

AH YES DEAN GETS TAKEN AWAY. ARRESTED. AGAIN

Ohhh its his wife.... his wife couldn't stand to lose him.... oh.......

"God save us from half the people who think they're doing God's work." hey who gave this show the right

[ Kayla says "Remember when I told you this show was sometimes really good?" I tell her to fuck off. She says I'm only proving her point. I call her a bitch. This has no effect. ]

SAM BESTIE U DID IT TO SAVE DEAN CAN U NOT UNDERSTAND THE CONFLICT HERE

LMAO DEAN JUST YELLS AT THE COPS AND THEY CHASE HIM THATS SO FUNNY

A+ plan buddy

Godddd the vibes are so ick and tragic but man

MAN I LOVE WHEN THINGS TAKE CHRISTIANS AND MAKE THEM FUCKED UP

Dean buddy get ready to run again

"The Lord chose me" NO IT FUCKIN DIDN'T

Sams gonna like smack her huh

Oh that Reaper did NOT like being bound

Something something metaphor for controlling death

Winchester Patented Guilt Complex

Oh she still has faith even when she's got a bad diagnosis :(

GODDAMMIT NO DONT

; - ;

So like Dean Winchester Aetheist Extraordinaire saying "I'm not much of a praying type... but I'll pray for you" is something that can be so personal actually

Don't. Don't touch me go away

Fuck you guys for making me watch this show I'm tearing up I hate you all

-

In conclusion: OKAY DEAN WINCHESTER LIKERS MAYBE I GET IT. But also fuck off fuck all of you I hate it here goddamn you AUGH I WASNT EXPECTING TO TEAR UP OVER THIS FUCK YOOOOOOOU

[420technoblazeit]

3 & 19 👀

3. screenshot or description of the worst take you've seen on tumblr

christ idk. i was goign to say john winchester apologist takes but i literally do not see any of those. like at all. everyone hates this guy's ass for good reason. idk i dont dwell on bad takes v much i kinda just scroll past it's nicer that way :}

19. you're mad/ashamed/horrified you actually kind of like…

crowstiel bc no one else ships it. im fuckign alone out here like ok sorry u dont think angel demon hatesex is cool sorry ur boring. sorry ur not enlightened enough to see the potential of s6 absolutely horrifically toxic gay enemies with benefits. does anyone want 2 watch the man who would be king with me again

Choose violence ask game

[mashed4077]

🌃 intro post! 🌃

(bit late but i didn’t want a cluttered bio anymore so here’s this)

hiii im shay! i fixated on mash back in november and i officially finished it on march 22nd 2023!! im gonna rewatch soon tho

about this blog

this is a side-blog!

tags: i tag pretty extensively for the sake of categorization; here’s hoping my character tags prove fun to scroll through!

queue: as of the day i’m writing this, i have a very full queue, because i have a habit of liking literally every post i see related to a fixation, and then spam-queuing it later to clean my likes out. so i hope you enjoy all the content! lots of funny scenes and textposts, well-made gifsets, wonderful fanart, and insightful meta, if i do say so myself. mashblr is a talented bunch!

original posts/content: i don’t contribute much on my own, but i love to ramble and i hope some of my lengthy tags prove an interesting or at least entertaining read :) i do dabble in fanfic writing and i’ve got a few mash works in my drafts, but i’m not sure if they’ll ever see the light of day. i’m also fond of meta and character analysis, so if i ever work up the courage maybe ill put out some moderately thought-provoking posts in that realm.

some of my opinions relating to mash characters & ships can be found under the read more!

these are all subjective and i completely respect anyone who disagrees :) we’re all here to have fun!

summarized thoughts on the characters (kinda sorted by fav to least fav)

mulcahy has been driving me bonkers for months (and my jewish ass has been putting far too much thought into catholicism lately bc of him😒)

frank,,,, listen. i’m sorry. but listen, as baffled and/or disgusted as you are, i’m the mf stuck being the only one in this entire fandom who flails over frank burns. so how do you think i feel. ik he’s absolutely awful, but he’s just so damn pathetic, i can’t help but like him and find him fascinating

radar is a bubby to me, i dont rlly have complex thoughts on him hes kinda just a comfort character to me n ilhsm

charles... he snuck up on me. i didnt expect to like him, much less relate to him (-_-) i just exposed myself as a charles winchester kinnie how will my reputation recover

i love hawkeye a lot, as we all do <3

i love trapper john mcintyre!!!!!!!!!!

i love margaret!!! i love klinger!!! i love henry!!! 

im pretty neutral on potter and bj

in short: i love them all a lot but mulcahy and frank have each driven me particularly mad in different ways and radar with his animals has made me cry and charles would probably drive me nuts if i let him but i am keeping him at arm’s length.

summarized thoughts on ships (again, strongest first)

(yes i have frank ships. no i am not proud of it)

my mash otp is hawkahy. it’s been slowly draining the remainder of my sanity. i havent slept in months. send help

i am a sucker for enemies/rivals to lovers and hawnk kinda makes me a little nuts.

i know he’s not good for her but i think margaret x frank have a rlly interesting relationship and they can be cute sometimes, and i think about them more than i’d like to admit. i am not immune to het ships consisting of badass women with control issues and their toxic pathetic purse-dog boyfriends.

henry x klinger is literally canon idc

pierceintyre... ;-; hh

i love semi-niche trapper ships. trapcahy is a little bit 👀 and i really like trapper x margaret

hawkeye x henry... shh...

bonus trios i think about sometimes😳: hawkeye x margaret x frank, margaret x frank x flagg (SHH), hawkeye x trapper x mulcahy. do u see my evil vision

aaand some platonic dynamics i particularly enjoy

mulcahy & klinger are besties :)

mulcahy & margaret have a sibling dynamic that i absolutely adore, esp in the potter seasons, particularly the later ones.

charles & margaret are a fun duo. the ship tease they did a little was... idk how to feel about it, but i like them as buddies.

margaret & klinger... the girlies

hawkeye & klinger!!! the el jibbities are flocking together..

hawkeye & margaret :)

i do very much enjoy hawkeye & bj’s friendship

not friendship but charles & mulcahy’s animosity is sooo funny i will never tire of it

notps: klinger x charles, and hunnihawk. do not doxx me.

i think thats all for now. enjoy my nonsense!

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