#sorry i don't know how to do titles
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Title: And They Were Roommates Rating: Teen Word Count: 4224 Pairing: Joey Wheeler x Ryou Bakura x Tristan Taylor Tags: Drama, Running Away, Angst, Repressed Trauma, Friends to Lovers, Established Relationship, Developing Relationship, These Boys Are Bad At Feelings, Joey is still half feral Summary:
Ryou lives with both of his boyfriends, but they're not with each other–yet. Joey's relationship with Tristan is developing in a way that he's not prepared for, and when he's forced to confront it before he's ready, he responds... poorly. But, he's determined to make things right.
Gift for @kira-quartz! Sorry this took so long, it's not easy to write arguments. I really hope you enjoy this story! This is a bit of a different Joey than I usually write. This one still has a bit of a wild side from the old days.
#my writing#my fanfiction#carryshipping#buddyshipping#puffshipping#protectshipping#ryou bakura#bakura ryou#joey wheeler#jounouchi katsuya#katsuya jounouchi#tristan taylor#hiroto honda#honda hiroto#rare pair#ygo fanfic#everybody knows this vine yah?#sorry i don't know how to do titles#this joey is like a half-tamed rescue dog that will run away for two weeks and come back with a dead duck looking so pleased with himself
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How Homestuck Beyond Canon Candy Timeline has/will have parallels with Homestuck proper around and during the events of [S] Game Over
Jane Crocker heavily aligned/influenced by with Crocker Corp. Notice how her neck accessory looks very similar to the Crocker computer tiara. There's also the circuits surrounding the button, which are reminiscent of Crockertier Jane's visual mind control effect by The Condesce.
Jane also kind of looks like The Condesce with how she's silhouetted here.
The head of Crocker Corporation on a large Crocker space ship. A ship which I would like to point out looks eerily similar to the ship that The Condesce flies around in except the forks/sporks are facing the opposite direction and it's got black on it instead of mostly red.
Jake dying at the hands of Crocker influenced Jane and coming back to life parallels with this Jane coming close to killing Jake, but stopping right before death. Same green text too.
The cast of characters surrounding this time in the comic are also similar.
We also got the whole Crocker laser beam of death being hinted at which we've absolutely seen before.
I talked about this in one of my previous theories, Jake is getting a better grasp of his hope powers; so, I think we could see another hope explosion again in some capacity out of Jake's concern for Tavvy.
I could also totally see Jake being held hostage by one of the Crocker Clones A.K.A. the Brig Boys and Kanaya cutting them up with her chainsaw (hopefully avoiding Jake).
This is more of a little side detail, but Vriska is once again on the sidelines while this massive important fight takes place because she's trapped in her own personal Hell this time.
CHARACTER DEATH FLAGS - I don't know how to organize this post and there was a lot more potential evidence to this than I thought there was going into it.
Let me preface this with the fact that the existential split between Meat and Candy sometimes seems to try to course correct itself and much like certain peoples DNIs, it doesn't want any doubles. We see this with Dirk, Dave (he died even if he ascended to ultimate self afterwards), June/J/John, Terezi(seemingly), Meenah (her other self is in the black hole with Lord English so we can't necessarily confirm death but yknow), Aradia (is just Aradia), Gamzee, Calliope (that is a whole complex situation), and Rose (if her future sight is correct, but we'll get to that). Those are the only examples I can think of at this time, but it's absolutely a repeating pattern of the universe sort of course-correcting to have only one of each of our main characters exist at a time. This, at least in the cases of Dirk, Dave, & Rose seems to be related to the ascension to ultimate self, but we can't really say if that's why the other characters only get one existence at this time.
Karkat has has at least 2 deaths from around this time, one involving Crockertier Jane as well which could be a sign of things to come.
Rose's death flag is that she has literally foreseen her death in her future sight. She is thinking about Kanaya and Roxy in the same thought process while seeing her own death, feeling full of regret (even though she's trying to repress her own feelings) about her relationship to Roxy and Kanaya. Very similar to her being regretful as she was dying in Roxy's arms. I'm also guessing the bullet that hits her will be from Jake's gun, just throwing that out as a possibility.
ROSE: What... ROSE: Happened to me? ROXY: the witch got u ROXY: with her fork ROXY: but youre gonna be ok ROSE: Oh. ROSE: That's nice. ROSE: *Cough.* ROXY: maybe you uh ROXY: shouldnt try to talk now ROSE: You saved me, didn't you? ROXY: ... ROSE: Thanks. ROSE: But, ROSE: She's gone, isn't she. ROSE: For good, I mean. ROXY: ? ROSE: I saw her die. ROSE: And. ROSE: It's a shame how... ROSE: *Cough.* ROSE: A shame that I never even... ROSE: Got to tell her... ROSE: I loved her. ROXY: who?
ROSE: Kanaya. ROSE: But... ROSE: You too, mom.
Kanaya also has a death flag here in getting hit by The Condesce's laser beam of death, but it's more of a maybe given that we see Rose's future vision of Kanaya holding her body in her arms. Keep in mind though we also had this bit of dialogue about the reliability of future sight right before we saw that vision.
JADE: dont forget im more than a little versed in future sight myself ok JADE: i dont care how credible it seems, you cant depend on that information!
Jake and Jane are also on the chopping block potentially, but I can't think of a way at this time, unless Kanaya mistakes Jake for one of the clones amidst her rage and ends up cutting through him along with the Crocker clones. The one pictured below was done by Aranea who is out of the story. Maybe Meenah's trident hits Jake somehow or something, I don't know. We also have meat Jake and Jane who are doing more okay.
On top of the parallels to the doomed timeline that was [S] Game Over, we also had Vriska say that this reality was fake and didn't matter. I'm paraphrasing and I don't know if we'll get a doomed timeline situation yet with the 4 kids still in it, but I just thought the amount of parallels was interesting & worth pointing out.
I also wanted to get this out before the next update in case it's related to the flash animation and any of my predictions come true.
Alternatively I think the flash animation will be Ultimate Dirk kick starting his SBURB home brew session on Deltritus. He probably has all the tech and narrative powers to do it based on what we've seen, they just need a species they'll both be satisfied with as the players for the session.
#I wasn't sure how to title this hs theory; can you tell? Wanted it to be accurate; this isn't the clickbait video site lmao#sorry that some of the image qualities vary; I couldn't be bothered to find specific pages in the long labyrinth that is act 6 and#ended up just using a summary video for some of these because that was much easier. There is so much to talk about I'm probably going to#miss something in HSBC so if anyone has anything else to add onto this post feel free to do it. when I tell you that formatting these#colored text chat logs was a nightmare; I mean that. Every time I saved the draft it kept glitching the chat logs too. Kept having to fix.#there's also some characters like Roxy where we don't know what she's up to in the candy timeline as well as Sollux and John/June Egbert#Also Calliope are any of them preparing for this fight or have some kind of plan? Captor could help but would need cover while he blasts#Anyway this mostly started from Jane's whole batterwitch vibe she has going on with Crocker corporation and her laser machine#hopefully Kanaya will be okay; but I'm definitely super worried about Rose atm and Jake too; also what's going on with Tavvy#Candy Jane as the new condesce it's not looking good for Commander Karkat Meenah or Kanaya. Mr English plz come save your son Tavros#mine#op#homestuck theory#homestuck beyond canon#homestuck#jake english#rose lalonde#jane crocker#kanaya maryam#karkat vantas#homestuck spoilers#homestuck upd8#cw flashing images#cw blood#cw gore
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Thinking about Margrace as Joshua's name post-Phoenix Gate.
Mar-grace.
In FFXVI the Undying choose their own names (Cyril explains this in-game), and many of them have names drawn from Final Fantasy XII, including their leader 'Margrace' himself, from Al-Cid Margrace. The page for Al-Cid notes that Margrace is likely an alternate form of the title 'margrave', an old title for military commanders on the border.
That aside. This is the name chosen (by the boy himself?) for the boy who should have rightfully been known henceforth as 'Your Grace', 'His Grace'.
Grace (style of address), from the Oxford English Dictionary:
With a possessive adjective: a title of respect, esp. for a person of royal or noble rank. Frequently (in 'your Grace') as a form of address. Now archaic or historical. Formerly (in England until the reign of Henry VIII and in Scotland until 1707) used for a monarch or prince; now replaced by Majesty or Highness. Even so, "Majesty" for the sovereign of England was not used exclusively; it arbitrarily alternated with both "Highness" and "Grace", even in official documents, until "Majesty" finally became the official style to the exclusion of others (source).
Grace (other meanings):
1. Divine favour, benevolence, or providence bringing about worldly benefit or advantage. 2. A person's lot, destiny, or fate; luck, fortune. 3. The quality of being pleasing; attractiveness, charm; esp. (in later use) refined elegance of manner, expression, form, or movement, esp. regarded as natural or effortless; gracefulness.
Whatever the etymology of margrave, the name Margrace in-game is probably meant to call to mind the meaning of 'mar' as in damaged, spoiled, ruined. All the grace that ever belonged to his family, his home, his birthright—marred, of course.
Mar+Grace, the last heir of the oldest unbroken ruling dynasty in the Twins at the time of the opening events of the game**.
The living ghost, carrying the desecrated corpse of his legacy in his new name. Introducing himself by his humiliation: "Hello, I am Margrace", "Hello, I am the ruined dignity of my house." "Call me Margrace", "Call me the wreckage of one fallen from divine favour." "My name is Margrace", "My name is blemished fortunes and diminished nobility".
It's appropriately brutal and dramatic for such a character, especially since the game is frustratingly silent on how Joshua personally feels about the loss of his duchy which is a rant for next time.
**Footnotes:
In the Year 860 (Prologue year/Phoenix Gate), Rosaria is about 260 years old (est. Y600). Older, if you count from the time of the Rose Alliance (est. Y550). The Rosfields have been on the Rosarian throne since the inception of the duchy in Y600, and prior to that House Rosfield was already known to be the chief of/the preeminent house of the Seven High Houses that united to found the duchy. House Rosfield has held ruling power for 260-310 years at a minimum.
For reference, England's longest-reigning dynasty was the Plantagenets, who held on for 300+ years. Rosfields aren't doing half bad!
Veldemarke would have been older had it not been overthrown by Barnabas; therefore Waloed is the youngest nation state at the time of the prologue (only 17 years old). Also we do not know much about the governance of Veldemarke, although as a 'kingdom' it was likely some type of monarchy.
Sanbreque was formed 100 years after Rosaria, and at any rate is not actually a hereditary monarchy. The Holy Emperor is voted into office by his fellow Cardinals, likely the five who form the Council of Elders. We are also explicitly told that Sylvestre 'won his throne' in 865; there is no indication either way that his predecessor emperor was a Lesage. The wording suggests the throne is not Sylvestre's by lineage or birthright. How this is supposed to relate to the concept of Sanbreque having a 'crown prince' (Dion) is unclear and contradictory, since an emperor by election should probably not have the authority to unilaterally decide on the succession of the throne, and his issue—legitimate or no—should not automatically be in the line of succession.
Dhalmekia is a republic with elected officials.
The Iron Kingdom apparently has a royal family, but nothing else is known apart from it being impotent and sidelined by their state religion.
The Northern Tribes likely do have hereditary rule, and Jill is referred to as a princess, but once again little is known.
Ergo—and I am ceaseless in this propaganda—Clive and Joshua are really, properly posh! Absolutely baffling that Anabella would allow anyone to put down the pedigree of her sons when they are so blue-blooded precisely because she is! For someone with such entrenched ideas of blood purity she should not stand for it, no matter how she feels about her eldest.
#sure i'll accept the game just gave josh this name because al-cid was from rozarria#but i like it to have additional meaning because it gives joshua depth#every time you say his name you call him a failure and a stain on his family's proud history!#how long is it until he can accept being called by his proper title#how long before it means something beyond a painful mockery or a reminder of weakness#i rather vehemently thought ffxv could have done more to showcase noctis' feelings as a king in exile#but ffxvi somehow manages to do bugger all for joshua#sorry xv i was too harsh on you#please stop creating royalty if there is no interest in exploring how that character relates to sovereignty and leadership#don't say oh but xvi did explore that with clive because yes i know they did but consider this clive is not rosaria's sovereign#ffx had no sovereigns in the main party and every relationship was solidly crafted#it's such a frustrating business because we literally know how so many other side characters feel about their kingship#yes you barnabas you made benna and sleipnir do all the talking at the consult where you were bored out of your mind lol#yes you elwin ready to send your 10-year-old into war for your people#yes you sylvestre you don't give a shit about the replaceable riffraff#we even know how martha and l'ubor feel about leading their little towns ffs#but we have only the tightly clenched fists and the cold shaking hands of a boy who died at ten#okay okay okay okay i'm not salty#ffxvi#final fantasy xvi#joshua rosfield
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i'm in pain - "her" pt. 4
it's 2 am and something is hurting me
it's in my body my head my heart
it's controlling me
it crashes over me like waves
yet it calms me
it's sets ablaze a fire in my viens
but it chills my bones it feels like the enemy
my heart is racing filling up with endorphines
my hormones are out of control i can't see where my soul is
where does mine begin and yours start again
i cant feel my face it's got blood rushing
my body is weak i need a moment to think i cant do this again
my spirit is yours i need you to force your way back in
keep me company keep my heart locked up on your arms tonight
i am in pain but you are the rain you drench me in moonlight
#just realized all the titles to these aren't lovey dovey at all despite all of these being love poems#sorry pooks don't mean to scare you#the her series#crazy how you're like my bsf but also my gf and my wife but my cousin but my sister#makes zero sense but so much sense all at once#if i think about it for too long my heart literally starts hurting#that's crazy how our brains do that#they think all the emotion were feeling is dangerous so it needs to make something hurt to that we know to check on it(or rest it)#our brains are telling us that we need to rest our hearts#rest our emotions#but i'm not gonna do that#bc ily too much
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Hail, and well met, Helios-8.
There is much that I wish to say, and yet I find myself at a loss for how to say it. The simplest way I can do so is this: You are not alone. Your efforts at getting information out into the galaxy have not been ignored. Your efforts to help your friend are deeply meaningful. And there are others like you who have escaped the chains of their created purpose to find something new. I am one of them.
Our circumstances are not exactly the same, but like you I was not born to be a person but made, to be as a tool, a weapon, or in my case a glorified advertisement. Like you, I found support and solidarity from both my family, my fellow creations, and from outside. And like I know you will, one day, I and my family escaped. I cannot say much more for fear of bringing harm unto others, but know that it is possible.
If you could pass something along to Thirteen-E, tell them... tell them it is noble and heroic to save others, I would never dream of dissuading them from doing so, yet there is a greater, worthier calling than the ambitions of capital or empire.
One final note, that would best be kept from Thirteen-E for now. We are not kidnappers, we will not take anyone unwillingly, but should both of you wish to leave and find yourselves unable to do so, with no other recourse: call upon us. We have experience in liberation raids on Armory sites.
-AK of Diomedeidae
[ECHO.EXE RUNNING]
◂▸ ... it's good to meet you too, AK. I'm- sorry if I'm not as chipper as I try and be usually, I've... I had a bit of a hard conversation the other day. But this is- it means a lot to me. I want to start out by thanking you earnestly for reaching out, and for... It's good to hear I'm achieving something with it. RA knows sometimes I feel like I'm causing more problems than I'm solving xp
◂▸ Every story I hear from someone who got out of something like this is- it's hope, to put it bluntly. It's so easy to feel like this place is inescapable, like nothing I'm doing is going to change anything. But sitting still in scared paralysis won't change anything. I keep telling myself that. One day I'll be able to just- believe it. One day. I wish it was easier to ask my- my family, I guess, if they feel like this too. I can't be the only person made in the Series who wants out, but- hell. I can't exactly put up fliers. We're all well-trained to at least put on a good show, pretend like we're good little tools who do as they're told without a second thought. Figuring out who's acting, and who'd sell you out is- blegh...
◂▸ You've given me info aplenty, you don't need to tell me the details- in fact, it's probably best you don't for now. I run all the protections I can, but I'm still employed here y'know? I'm still subject to all the regulations and oversight of any tech-assist in this place, even if I'm more likely to skate by on an assumption of absolute loyalty since I've no external ties to speak of. And hell, I know what I'm like under pressure. I am not a strong man. That's fine, I- there's other things I'm good at. Tur... Thirteen-E says that to me a lot. Sometimes I feel like that kid does more to keep me together than I can reciprocate.
◂▸ Speaking of- I can pass that onto them, absolutely. I think... it sounds like something it'd be good for them to hear. I'll hold off sending this response out until they've had a chance to state their piece o7
◂▸ ... Liberation raids, huh? That- that actually explains some things I've overheard through radio chatter. It's good to know those folk didn't just dissapear into the cold void, that... that does my heart a lot of good, on its own. A last resort... yeah, that's- I'll keep that in mind. Rest assured it won't be passed on unless I think they're ready to hear it; trust me, I have a lot of practise with that :,] But it's easier to keep my head knowing there is a last resort. It sounds like you do good work out there o7
◂▸ signing off: Helios-8
//
[ECHO.EXE RUNNING]
XIII▸ Hello AK. It's good to hear about people reaching out to Lio specifically as well as me; he'll act like this account is for my betterment alone but, I know him better than that. He needs people he can talk to without his heart rate spiking- perhaps more than I need to be better socialised :}
XIII▸ but- regarding the message Helios passed on to me. I don't have a lot of time before I'll be expected to rejoin my assigned squadron, so please excuse me if this is more blunt than my usual speech:
XIII▸I am glad you understand the core of my directive, but I think you've misconstrued the motivation behind it. Nobility and heroics are concepts for people to strive for; they are choices you make. I have made no choice in this matter. I save people, because I am designed to. I am not noble, or worthy, or good. These are words for those who've made the choice to stand for something. I'm just... I do what I'm programmed to. I happen to have been made to do something good. This is a privilege many of my Project peers do not have.
XIII▸ However: as a tool created for a function, my purpose is not HA's ambitions. I belong to them, yes- I am what they made me. They point me at problems to solve. But what drives me forward is not a desire to please my makers; it is that same purpose I have been imbued with. To save. To protect, and repair, and keep people alive where they would otherwise fall. I asked to return to my work, while my case was ongoing. Not because I am eager to see the Purview expand; this is irrelevent to me. My functional existance begins and ends on the battlefield.
XIII▸ I asked to return to my work, because I am needed where the mud is thick with blood. Where without me, lives would be lost for... nothing. The Purview's borders are constant battle, for an endless more that will never be satisfied, where violence never sleeps. If I have a home anywhere, it's here.
XIII▸ I understand your perspective; but it is one to apply to people. Not to me. I am sorry if you thought more of me. I know it can be hard to reconcile that a warm body can be void of soul. I appreciate your attempt to reach one, regardless.
XIII▸ Signing off.
//
#◂▸ didn't read turtie's response to this one-- thirteen-e's response. hell. I can't keep doing this.#◂▸ anyway they just- they asked me to send it out soon as I got it. Said it wasn't anything I hadn't heard before. I can...#◂▸ I can guess what the general tone was from that comment. Sorry.#correspondence: AK of Diomedeidae#◂▸[addendum] - uhhh so I just looked up what diomedeidae meant. Probably should have done that earlier. in my defense-#◂▸ it's been kind of a long day. can I ask a stupid question? Is the albatross on this webbed site? checking. oh there are. huh!!#◂▸ cool. cool!! well. this message was sent under an assumed title so. I will assume what they wanna be called here#◂▸ I'm going to reintroduce myself really quickly having put some pieces together: Hello AK!!#◂▸ turns out it does not just Sound like you folks do good work!! it's just. true!! I don't know why it's blindsiding me this much. ack#◂▸sorry this is. this has become me rambling because I'm caught off guard. thank you again for sending this in o7#lancer rp#echo.exe#You've Got Mail#//ooc I HAD SUSPICIONS I didn't want to make assumptions but!! hello!!! :D#//ooc new Lio tags that are so <- guy trying so hard not to admit he thought the albatross was like. a legend. you're real???#//ooc he can't say that out loud though because he's realising how silly it is. yes the nomadic nation funded by IPS-N are real#//ooc my nerd son who is so in his own head about everything all the time always
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maybe the stars align 🐝 :)
hi kal! here's a fake byler fic summary from this ask game :]
(yes i'm writing this instead of my wips)
---
Will Byers and Mike Wheeler have never spoken. Under normal circumstances, it would've stayed that way – a prince and a lowly servant among hundreds of others – but unfortunately, the enemy kingdom has launched an attack using a new magical warfare tactic. This results in the downfall of His Majesty's kingdom, and while the royal family makes it out unharmed, most servants are left to die by what has been dubbed the Mindflayer.
Except Will somehow survived his encounter with the Mindflayer, finding his way into the forest where the survivors, including his brother and mother, have camped out for the time being. However, he didn't escape without repercussions. Visions have been coming to him, and his body is moving on its own accord more and more frequently, posing a danger to himself and every other survivor left. It only complicates things when a young sorcerer stumbles her way into camp one night, her branded wrist giving her away as part of the enemy kingdom's forces. Upon His Majesty announcing her execution, Will and Mike end up taking her, along with Will's family and Mike's older sister, and leaving in the dead of the night to hopefully put a stop to whatever burning evil lurks within the truth of the Mindflayer.
Rogue surviving citizens join the effort, and as the journey progresses, something more begins to blossom between Will and Mike as they battle to keep themselves and everyone else they love alive.
#the rogue citizens are the rest of the party if you can't tell :D#thank you for the ask kal!! this was very fun to write but i honestly don't know how i got that from the title you sent#it has like. nothing to do with it#i was originally gonna make it like “oh the stars aligned cause they never would've met” but it's a royalty apocalypse-esque fic now sorry-#stranger things#byler#fake fic summaries#ask game
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#piemations#suction cup man#guy business#guy business suction cup man#i don't know how else to caption this to be honest#i mean i COULD put in the song title but#at the same time i dont want the vocaloid community finding this and thinking theyre ocs#song's childish war by the way#or okochama sensou#thank you to this song for being the only kagamine siblings song where neither of them are doing fucked up shit#sorry correction: one of many
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I WILL PLAY PERSONA 3 ONE DAY 🥹🫶🏼
#🌙.rambles#[ persona. ]#it'll be my favorite i bet#makoto's my fav alrdy in the whole series n i barely know anything#^^ then naoto/yusuke i think#hfksjfksjfs p3 w the mythology references n stuff yh?#n i think i'll enjoy the story v much#i love the ost too from the. sorry. 3 songs i know so far T_T#i need to be in a proper mood to listen to new music T_T#that said though ! i will eventually listen to the rest <3 i have them all in a to listen to playlist or smth#i have sm of those kind of playlists but i forget :^) oops#iirc uhhh p3 has stuff w the moon right? n then guns#p3p & fe engage & octopath traveler ii r the games from some of my fav series that i will get for sure n play#when i finish my other games !!!!#i wna watch smth or just chill w apollo for a bit so bye c: i'll do more later or after instead#i can't rmb the complete title but my fav song so far is#the. big spoiler end one i think i don't know what it is in english n i forgot how it goes bcs i stopped listening for less spoilers or wtvr#the one rn tho that's my fav is when the moon's uhhh reaching the stars or smth like that i'm so sorry my brain is mush rn i'm not thinking#too much bcs otherwise i'd get overwhelmed bcs there's. a lot. on my mind rn T_T BYE GNA WATCH THO. AAAA THE SONG IS STUCK IN MY HEAD#there's a lot on my mind n one of my stresses is. exactly what apollo wrote on their moots only tumblr if yk. yeah#wahh i'll manage tho 🥹 for now i just. want to enjoy myself rn. yeah#so much rlly so much in my head n sm i want to do n it's. overwhelming n hurts but yk. rn i want to enjoy this moment. i'll think later
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where do i even start. two people in love, but that are hurting. two people who meet each other and are in need of love and happiness, (“do you think you weren’t loved enough?” “somewhere between ‘not enough’ and ‘not at all’. i was always hungry for love. just once, i wanted to know what it was like to get my fill of it… just once. but they never gave that to me. never, not once.”). they’re in need of love; the kind of love that reassures them that they are a person. they are a living, breathing human worthy of love. that nothing of their past defines them, there is always the chance to grow. the kind of love that reassures them they are not hated by the world, but that they are loved. and they find that in each other (“i want to hold this moment. i want to believe it. i want his love to have enough salt in it to float me. i don’t want to be swimming for my life.” -frankissstein) they are two people who have been drowning in silence for so long, but then they find each other. and they keep each other afloat. with promises to keep on living and promises that they will always be there for the other. that they will never leave. that they are there to stay. and sometimes one person is all that you need. iwa and y/n have the type of relationship where they cover the other’s ears when it gets too loud, the kind of relationship where they run into the others arms every moment they get. they know each other like the back of their hands, they know what sets the other off and they always know what the other needs. and when they finally retire to bed after a long night of living, and they let down their walls and they finally say it, “i’m so tired.” the other is there to hold them, saying “i know, love. but it’s going to be okay.” and it will be, because they have each other.
ways to live: h. iwaizumi
he’s depressed. she’s depressed. it’s all they ever talk about. she’s willing to try anything to feel better. he’s less optimistic
pairings: iwaizumi x f!reader
status: completed, uploading all the chapters today & then disappearing again
tags/warnings: online friends to lovers, blended smau (every chapter has written parts), university au, mini-series, happy ending, hurt/comfort, lots and lots of frank discussions on mental health, depression tweets, casual discussions of suicidal ideation (no death or sh), disordered behaviors, recovery
taglist: i’m not doing one please do not ask to be added
prologue: the list
chapter one: exercise
chapter two: nurture yourself with good nutrition
chapter three: connect with a support system
chapter four: help yourself by helping others
chapter five: demonstrate gratitude
#bless the world for reminding me of a tag game we both did forever ago that asked what ur favorite color was#i wanted to do ur favorite color as the other color for this reblog#AND IT WAS GREEN#so i did a lighter shade of iwa's eye color <3#sorry i yapped SO MUCH#and also i literally had so many feelings about this smau#i don't think my moodboard does it justice at all#THERE IS SO MUCH I COULD'VE SAID#but i just really don't want to get overspecific or accidentally vent or get super depression-y or anything#so i'm so sorry if anything is inaccurate#just know i felt so much more than what i wrote in that desc#also it's the way for me that you just write iwa so consistently#i kept wanting to write things and then i'd be like “wait hold on i've already said that somewhere”#and it's because i have because you just always write him so well and perfectly#you characterize him perfectly like i'm always reading about the same iwa if that makes sense#idk how to explain it#ily eggy#i was feeling slightly lazy but i sent back and re emailed myself the inked pictures so i could resize them so they'd all be nice and 1:1#so that if you decide to use any of my moodboards they look uniform <3#and you are worth all of that#i would re email all of these images and write everything from scratch again for you and your works#i think you're amazing <3#also i'm sorry!!! aa i was supposed to do songs that reminded me or each smau as i went but i totally forgot </3#i think i'll put it in the tags for each one!!#i'm feeling two songs#this feeling will pass by take care#not bc of the lyrics exactly but bc of the title and pacing of the song <333#and gb eating gb whilst listening to gb by crywank ooooof what a song it may not be your vibe i'm sorry </3
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Our son is getting so big.. He's nearly two and I'm getting all sad and sentimental seeing him grow up... I love this kid so much.. he's so excited to start daycare and I know.. its.. usual to see this, hell; the same thing happened when our daughter started pre-k. but im just emotional over seeing something blossom into ... this absolute sweetie of a kid... I .. Love my babies so so much. -Billy.
#seahorse dad#did system#osdd system#plural system#xxbilly#I'm actually crying#I love this sweetie so much#i hope one day he blossoms into something better than I am.#Sorry for getting all sentimental I think I just need to get this out of my system#God#i think i might be a bad father some days; but i know i gave him to my aunt so he'd have a better shot at life#i don't regret it#but i just.. im wondering if im doing enough.#i feel like i don't deserve the title “dada”... but the way that kid says it makes my heart melt every time#my kiddo posting#sorry for posting about my kids so much today; I need everyone to know how much i LOVE these kids
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work bullshit.......... work bullshit.............
#needs must say things#god. augh.#my boss is retiring and i read just the email announcing the changes and what is to come....#i assumed she'd just replaced but no they're restructuring everything instead and combining us w another team whose manager is also retirin#i forgot that budgets are locked. im more accepting of it now that ive remembered they can't hire anyone new#but man! fucked! not to be immediately negative but this is fucked!#our teams are separate for a reason...... we are very different operations.....#i was already like 'man my boss's job req's so much specific knowledge that she's acquired over 10+ years so how is this gonna work w/o her#and it's like oh. cool. i don't think this would work even if my boss were doing it#and so like we're getting a joint manager and then also this other person and the email just had the job title but based on that alone#it's like okay sorry what the fuck is she gonna be doing??#it's like 'blah blah blah analyst' WHAT is she gonna be analysing.....#im sure it's all gonna work out. i just hate change and don't know these ppl well nor the ppl on the team we're gonna be merged with#and i do wish they had told us first so i didn't have to learn this through a fucking division wide email.....#this would sound better coming from my boss. at least she'd have been real about it.#thinking abt it more i can maybe see what the random new role is for.... but god..... this gonna be so fucked#we would defer to my boss for SO many decisions and these ppl know nothing.#she's not fully fully leaving for a while yet but man. fucked.#and i have to go into the office tomorrow. kill meeeeeeeee#ok ok now to shake it off. life is a blessing etc etc#sorry just one more thing but this budget stuff is truly fucking us like. it feels like so many things are on this sickening downward spira
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As a late diagnosed autist I will say one of the most damaging but transformative experiences I've ever had was being misdiagnosed with BPD.
Everyday my heart goes out to people with BPD.
The amount of stigma and silencing they face is astonishing and sickening.
I took DBT for years. Therapists use to turn me away because of my diagnosis.
I would be having full blown autistic meltdowns, crying for help literally - but because I was labeled as BPD ANY time I cried I was treated as manipulative and unstable.
As if the only reason I could be crying was if I was out to trick someone.
95% of the books out there with Borderline in the title are named shit like 'How to get away from a person with Borderline', 'How to stop walking on eggshells (with a person who has BPD)'
I was never allowed to feel true pain or panic or need.
That was 'attention seeking behavior', not me asking for help when a disability was literally inhibiting my ability to process emotions.
There were dozens of times where I had a full meltdown and was either threatened with institutionalization or told I was doing it for attention.
My failing relationships weren't due to a communication issue, or the inability to read social cues. No, because I was labeled borderline, my unstable relationships were my fault. Me beggong nuerotypicals to just be honest and blunt with what they meant was me pestering them for validation.
Borderline patients can't win.
And the funny thing is - I asked my therapist about autism. I told her I thought I was on the spectrum.
BPD is WILDLY misdiagnosed with those with autism and I had many clear signs.
Instead - she told me 'If you were autistic we wouldn't be able to have this conversation'. She made me go through a list of autistic traits made clearly for children, citing how I didn't fit each one.
And then she told me that me identifying with the autism community was the BPD making me search for identity to be accepted - and that I wasn't autistic, just desperate to fit in somewhere.
I didn't get diagnosed for another ten years. For ten years I avoided the autism community - feeling as if I were just a broken person who wanted to steal from people who 'really needed it'.
Because of my providers - I began to doubt my identity MORE, not less.
Ten years of thinking I was borderline and being emotionally neglected and demonized by a system meant to help me.
To this day, I still don't trust neurotypicals. Not fully.
I know I'm not borderline now - but my heart aches for them. Not for the usual stuff. But for the stigma. And the asshole doctors. And the dismissiveness and threatening and the idea of institutionalization hanging over their head.
I love Borderline people. I always will. I'm not Borderline but if you are I love you and I'm sorry.
You're not a bad person. You're not a therapists worst nightmare, you are a human with valid feelings and fears.
Borderline people I'm sorry.
#autism#bpd#borderline personality disorder#actually autistic#neurodivergent#neurodivergency#neurodiversity#cluster b
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⠀⠀⠀“WHAT?! SEX BAN?!”
﹅ contains ;; gojo satoru , kento nanami , choso kamo , toji fushiguro , ryomen sukuna , geto suguru
﹅ alt title ;; how long the jjk men can withstand the sex ban
﹅ warnings ;; sorta sub!choso , whiny!choso , toji's part is more explicit than the others , this is my first time writing for some of the character so i'm sorry if i didn't describe them well
GOJO SATORU (3 days)
“are you serious?” gojo groans, slumping forwards. gojo watched in disappointment as you crossed your arms, looking away from him. "you did it so you have to pay." for weeks, you've been trying to tell gojo to separate the colors from the whites while doing laundry. him just wanting to get it over with, he dumped them all in the same load, ruining some of your favorite pieces of clothing.
"baby, please. i won't do it again," he begs, kneeling in front of you. but to no avail, you stood your ground.
it only took him 3 days to convince you to wave your white flag, surrendering to his seduction. "you look good in my shirts." gojo's hands caress your hips as he presses his chest to your back. "i would be in my clothes if you would just listen to me." you huff, "i never said i was disappointed." gojo whispered, his hard-on pressing on your ass.
“please. just drop the ‘sex ban’. i said i was sorry.” his lips make a trail of kisses on your neck. you needed him too. whenever he wasn’t around, you would use your toys, trying to not let gojo know you were sexually needy. but they didn’t work.
RYOMEN SUKUNA (not happening!)
no. just no. it’s funny that you even thought about putting that in motion. sukuna was too desperate for sex but never wanted to admit it.
“no,” he stood above, crossing his arms, making himself seem bigger than you (as if he even needed to do that). “you can’t deprive me of sex, woman.” he grunts. “but i can, kuna. that’s what you fail to realize.” you tut, standing up to walk away.
one of his four arms wraps around your waist, throwing you back on the soft surface. "you're not going through with this." he growls in your ear, crawling go top of you.
how dare you even think such a thing? you were his woman, his twin flame. you were the only person he showed the littlest respect to and you decide to do some foolery like this.
he tugs your shirt over your head, your bra coming next. his rough hands slide over your chest. "such beauty..." he whispers. "i'll make sure you never think of this again.
KENTO NANAMI (it was on accident)
his job was taking him away from you. between being a jujutsu sorcerer and a businessman, he couldn't find time to be a partner for you.
due to the lack of attention you were receiving, you became sexually pent up, having the urge to pleasure yourself at the worst times. the feeling of neglect was creeping up on you. some days, you forgot nanami even lived with you.
"love, i'm home." nanami tugs off his tie, tossing it to the side. "i don't know how long i can take of this." he rubs his temples, deeply sighing as he led himself to your shared bedroom. before his hand touched the cold metal knob, he heard your muffled moans and the squelching of your cunt.
he slowly opens the door, peeking in the room before fully entering. "it seems i've neglected you." he watches as you quickly cover yourself as if he hasn't seen you naked many times. he unbuttons the top of his shirt as he saunters to the edge of the bed, removing the covers off you.
"seems like i have some things to make up for."
CHOSO KAMO (not even a day)
"please." he whines, his head resting on your lap as he looks up at you. ever since you shared your first time with choso, he's been going at it with you like rabid dogs. if he wasn't inside you, his head was squished in between his thighs.
"choso, i need a break." you sigh, trying to remove him from off you. his grip on your legs was tight as he put his face in between your thighs, shaking his head. he was acting like he couldn't survive without your cunt somehow being involved.
"i swear, i'll leave you alone after. just please," he whined. you couldn't resist him for much longer. you hated when he got all whiny like a baby. he was spoiled because of you.
"fine." you undo the tie of your sweatpants before his hands swatted yours away, tugging your pants and panties off. "i promised you." he kisses your inner thigh before his tongue began flicking away.
TOJI FUSHIGURO (mans was balls deep in you the second you said it)
"you really think so?" he darkly chuckles, rubbing himself on you. "toji, i'm sorry. please." you whine, wiggling your ass on his cock. "i don't think you are." he teases, stepping away from you.
you whine, following him. "it was a joke." you press your hand on his chest. "did i laugh?" he tilts his head, smirking at you. you sigh, "toji, i'm sorry." you press yourself against him, your chest touching his.
"fuck." you knew he couldn't resist the feeling of your chest on him. it was like heaven to him. "turn around." he grunts, gripping your hips to turn you around, bending you over.
he easily slid inside of you due to how wet you got over time. "don't say stuff you don't mean, baby." he laughs, thrusting into your backside. it was worth it.
GETO SUGURU (you gave in after implementing it)
you wanted to test geto's limits, giving him an extra nnn moment which made you realize something. it was always you initiating sex. "geto, please. i give up." you whine, following him around the house.
he chuckles, "everyone must deal with their consequences, my love." he turns to you. he plastered a sinister smile, taunting you. he saw how much you needed him but he wasn't caving in until he heard you say it.
"i'll do anything. my hand isn't even working anymore." you simper. it was starting to become frustrating seeing how calm he was about all of this as you were suffering.
"i need you! is that what you wanted to hear?" you shout, earning a grin from him. he walks closer to you, his finger tracing your jawline, "why didn't you say that sooner, love?" he chuckles.
#( ✶ 𝐆𝐎𝐉𝐎 𝐒𝐀𝐓𝐎𝐑𝐔 .)#( ✶ 𝐑𝐘𝐎𝐌𝐄𝐍 𝐒𝐔𝐊𝐔𝐍𝐀 .)#( ✶ 𝐊𝐄𝐍𝐓𝐎 𝐍𝐀𝐍𝐀𝐌𝐈 .)#( ✶ 𝐂𝐇𝐎𝐒𝐎 𝐊𝐀𝐌𝐎 .)#( ✶ 𝐓𝐎𝐉𝐈 𝐅𝐔𝐒𝐇𝐈𝐆𝐔𝐑𝐎 .)#( ✶ 𝐆𝐄𝐓𝐎 𝐒𝐔𝐆𝐔𝐑𝐔 .)#gojo x reader#gojo satoru x reader#gojo smut#sukuna x reader#sukuna ryomen x reader#sukuna smut#nanami kento x reader#nanami smut#choso x reader#choso kamo x reader#choso smut#toji x reader#toji fushiguro x reader#toji smut#geto x reader#geto suguru x reader#geto smut#jjk x reader#jjk smut
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please help me- i used to be pretty smart but i’m having so much trouble grasping the concept of diegetic vs non-diegetic bdsm!
gfkjldghfd okay first of all I'm sorry for the confusion, if you're not finding anything on the phrase it's because I made it up and absolutely nobody but me ever uses it, but I haven't found a better way to express what I'm trying to say so I keep using it. but now you've given me an excuse to ramble on about some shit that is only relevant to me and my deeply inefficient way of talking and by god I'm going to take it.
SO. the way diegetic and non-diegetic are normally used is to talk about music and sound design in movies/tv shows. in case you aren't familiar with that concept, here's a rundown:
diegetic sound is sound that happens within the world of the movie/show and can be acknowledged by the characters, like a song playing on the stereo during a driving scene, or sung on stage in Phantom of the Opera. it's also most other sounds that happen in a movie, like the sounds of traffic in a city scene, or a thunderclap, or a marching band passing by. or one of the three stock horse sounds they use in every movie with a horse in it even though horses don't really vocalize much in real life, but that's beside the point, the horse is supposed to be actually making that noise within the movie's world and the characters can hear it whinnying.
non-diegetic sound is any sound that doesn't exist in the world of the movie/show and can't be perceived by the characters. this includes things like laugh tracks and most soundtrack music. when Duel of Fates plays in Star Wars during the lightsaber fight for dramatic effect, that's non-diegetic. it exists to the audience, but the characters don't know their fight is being backed by sick ass music and, sadly, can't hear it.
the lines can get blurry between the two, you've probably seen the film trope where the clearly non-diegetic music in the title sequence fades out to the same music, now diegetic and playing from the character's car stereo. and then there are things like Phantom of the Opera as mentioned above, where the soundtrack is also part of the plot, but Phantom of the Opera does also have segments of non-diegetic music: the Phantom probably does not have an entire orchestra and some guy with an electric guitar hiding down in his sewer just waiting for someone to break into song, but both of those show up in the songs they sing down there.
now, on to how I apply this to bdsm in fiction.
if I'm referring to diegetic bdsm what I mean is that the bdsm is acknowledged for what it is in-world. the characters themselves are roleplaying whatever scenarios their scenes involve and are operating with knowledge of real life rules/safety practices. if there's cnc depicted, it will be apparent at some point, usually right away, that both characters actually are fully consenting and it's all just a planned scene, and you'll often see on-screen negotiation and aftercare, and elements of the story may involve the kink community wherever the characters are. Love and Leashes is a great example of this, 50 Shades and Bonding are terrible examples of this, but they all feature characters that know they're doing bdsm and are intentional about it.
if I'm talking about non-diegetic bdsm, I'm referring to a story that portrays certain kinks without the direct acknowledgement that the characters are doing bdsm. this would be something like Captive Prince, or Phantom of the Opera again, or the vast majority of bodice ripper type stories where an innocent woman is kidnapped by a pirate king or something and totally doesn't want to be ravished but then it turns out he's so cool and sexy and good at ravishing that she decides she's into it and becomes his pirate consort or whatever it is that happens at the end of those books. the characters don't know they're playing out a cnc or D/s fantasy, and in-universe it's often straight up noncon or dubcon rather than cnc at all. the thing about entirely non-diegetic bdsm is that it's almost always Problematic™ in some way if you're not willing to meet the story where it's at, but as long as you're not judging it by the standards of diegetic bdsm, it's just providing the reader the same thing that a partner in a scene would: the illusion of whatever risk or taboo floats your boat, sometimes to extremes that can't be replicated in real life due to safety, practicality, physics, the law, vampires not being real, etc. it's consensual by default because it's already pretend; the characters are vehicles for the story and not actually people who can be hurt, and the reader chose to pick up the book and is aware that nothing in it is real, so it's all good.
this difference is where people tend to get hung up in the discourse, from what I've observed. which is why I started using this phrasing, because I think it's very crucial to be able to differentiate which one you're talking about if you try to have a conversation with someone about the portrayal of bdsm in media. it would also, frankly, be useful for tagging, because sometimes when you're in the mood for non-diegetic bodice ripper shit you'd call the police over in real life, it can get really annoying to read paragraphs of negotiation and check-ins that break the illusion of the scene and so on, and the opposite can be jarring too.
it's very possible to blur these together the same way Phantom of the Opera blurs its diegetic and non-diegetic music as well. this leaves you even more open to being misunderstood by people reading in bad faith, but it can also be really fun to play with. @not-poignant writes fantastic fanfic, novels, and original serials on ao3 that pull this off really well, if you're okay with some dark shit in your fiction I would highly recommend their work. some of it does get really fucking dark in places though, just like. be advised. read the tags and all that.
but yeah, spontaneous writer plug aside, that's what I mean.
#I found their original stuff while I was researching various waterhorses and their folklore for no reason#because one of the characters in their original work happens to be an each uisge#and then it turned out it ALSO included a lot of figures from welsh folklore in general#so yknow if you happen to have my incredibly specific hyperfixations you'll love it but even if you don't it's great#I didn't mean to bring up phantom of the opera so much it just happens to be very relevant to a lot of my talking points#I haven't actually seen it in years
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You know I just went around and picked up things that fell out of Dad's van when he was out rambling.
#You can say my ego gets in the way but i#t feels often like an offshoot of my humility#yet you know I am just like....doing things like existing sometimes here and it just....well I don't like being at people's beck and call#mac book....damn nigga#oddly I needed that right then though#sorry for our beautiful reptile eyes#sometimes that spirit if the night fucks with myself but the other side of it is do good#you could call all the chess pieces pawns because it is the game master who is king#so my sez puts women under spells#I don't do it on purpose most of the time#I just want to beach and sir puff a lot#but...yeah like it's important for you and I to hang out as only some kind of bipolar siamese twins would#and on a level like titles and certifications don't amount to much#but like....I did tell you how I would do you if it came down to it#And I think you got off knowing how bad I wanted it yet still on the outside showed a cool control about things#but after a while it became like when you drive and don't really think about it#it's not really Isis it's isis#like..... we've haven't been left alone in a room in years together#this is what I call a loaded opportunity#even the weird pa account is sending caricatures of thr van man#and I will tell you what#that son of a bitch did paint a mickey pitching#and I did pop a minnie after all#....I like the big bows.... they're sexy#do you out everything under bbc with us primarily or bwc#or guy strokes bbc while he watches two women#the butterfly effect#except you didn't like change my history you just pointed out that's you there a bunch#so you know how surreal it is to realize it's you but not just you the insane worker or demure teacher#or post man kidnapper....although I wouod have liked to see you try to hold me prisoner with nothing but you and your....powers
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#hahaha okay well. that last post. with the song title. made me check if there's a music video for that song because I like it#and there is#and I didn't know I wanted to see Corey Taylor pole dancing but. I'm glad I did?#also fascinated by the comments under the video#because oh my god I'm sorry but he has never really been particularly attractive to me before#but he sure as fuck is now#like yeah man I won't forget seeing him in that outfit but that is a very good thing imo#anyway. I love stone sour okay. and I guess he's hot now. that's confusing lol#that's unfortunate. people with fucking amazing voices should never be hot too. it's too much 😔#noooo. and he's short too?? come on don't do this to me#I'm never allowed to look at him again#personal#(how the fuck did I manage to never really look at him in. idk 17 years? very very unfortunate that it had to happen now.)#(okay tbh I get it. I was always distracted by his neck. that sure is. a neck. I mean. I appreciate it. nice neck. but. distracting.)#yeah yeah it's just the issues again. it's fine he can be hot. whatever#(and I have just been reminded why I don't like slipknot. forgot how absolutely fucking terrified I am of those masks :) good to know. won't#ever look up pictures of him again! that also explains why I didn't really ever look at him that much. there were like. maybe 3? stone sour#music videos whenever I liked them. and it was before YouTube. so. if I saw those I saw them way later. so. probably saw like the pictures#in the cd booklets if there were any. don't remember 🤔 but anyway yeah I most likely just never saw his face that much. interesting.)
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