#sorry for venting but i really need a place to scream at rn
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#bunny talk#sorry for venting but i really need a place to scream at rn#ARGHHHHHHHHHH I'M SO FRUSTRATED RN I HATE GOING TO ARTS CRAM CLASS I FUCKING HATE IT SO MUCH#i feel like i'm not making any progress with my paintings and my teacher barely teaches me anything#i have to figure 99% of it on my own and he just. scolded me for being stuck on something i am weak at without teaching me how to master it.#i've been feeling so awful lately#i don't even want to pick up a brush or go to an arts school anymore#and i only have two weeks left until the evaluation#urghhhhhhhhhhhhhh
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My mood dipped so low ever since they came back
#i cant believe im saying this but. im desperately waiting for University to start again#so i dont have to be home#im so demotivated to do anything#i slept in the bathroom floor because thats the only place im allowed locked doors and privacy cuz i straight up didnt wanna deal with them#the 10 days i was able to return living with my roommate was more of a vacation than the entirety of summer break at their house#im just really tired rn. honestly just need 3 more years and then im scot free....#this bird speaks#sorry for the vent post but i just really needed to scream for a bit. vaguely
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omfg request time because i cannot stop thinking about how this would go
but could you please write an alhaitham fic with the prompt "who did this to you?" with the whole showing up at his doorstep late in the night thing? no pressure and doesn't have to be long at all!!
~ nessa ā”
genshin impact ; requests
2023/byizoyas. ā pls do not plagiarize or repost and claim as yours ! thank you very much :)
ā sfw. modern au. coming to his apartment late at night, crying. bonus āwho did this to youā trope for nessa ā alhaitham x gn!reader
incessant sobbing and a sad song was all one could hear from your room at this moment.
you were not usually that dramatic but you didnāt remember someone hurting your feelings so hard before and since it came from your family, you had a hard time calming yourself.
words are meaningless they said; but if they saw you now, would they say the same ? your eyes were all red and swollen from the tears and your body wouldnāt stop shaking, putting you in an even more uncomfortable state.
you looked around yourself. you were alone. but loneliness was most likely the very last thing you needed now. you craved an embrace, not just by anyone; by a friend.
you scrolled down your contacts to find the person that would perhaps be awake as it was pretty late at night.
ļæ½ļæ½ļæ½kavehā you said to yourself, typing as fast as you could as if your phone would disappear from your hands from a minute to another.
r you home ? need someone rn :(
your text was delivered and as you kept staring at the screen, waiting to see it changed to a read status, your leg started shaking by itself.
the music had stopped by now, and as your tears kept on falling down by themselves, you at least stopped being so loud. you didnāt know if it felt better to cry your heart out, almost screaming on the pillow or not but at least you could breathe in and out more easily now.
you only had to wait a few more minutes before kaveh replied.
come to my place
that was his only text and you needed no more to simply put on your shoes and leave your house.
their words were repeating in your brain, and as you started to think about how you would never forget it, the tears came back. you looked around quickly, making sure no one saw you in this miserable situation.
no one was around. now you started to think the world was sending you a message. you didnāt live in a little city at all, you were in a pretty big one actually. and as it was friday night, there usually was a few people hanging around.
but tonight, on the night you needed to see people, you were left all alone with your thoughts and tears.
you shook your head, throwing all the negative thought away when after a few twenty minutes of walking, you arrived near kavehās address. it wasnāt lightened so you started asking yourself whether he was still up.
you didnāt take long to come you thought. perhaps he was in his room then; so you knocked on the door several times.
your phone displayed 3 am. you really went through the city so late at night only to vent to your friend; but the longer you were standing waiting by the door, the more you started to regret your choice. perhaps you were annoying him; perhaps he had things to do, other than listening to you.
you turned around after overthinking it, ready to leave and go back to your house when you heard the door opening, quickly followed by the familiar voice of alhaitham.
āy/n ? what are you doing here ?ā his voice was monotonous and obviously he had just woken up.
āa-alhaitham, hi. i wanted to see kaveh but i guess heās not there.ā
you looked away, avoiding his eyes that seemed to read right through you.
āindeed he went out tonight.ā
you looked at your feet now, before looking back at him. āoh. i will take my leave then, sorry for disturbing.ā you waved at him and tried to leave for the second time tonight when he took your wrist.
āwait. are you okay ?ā
of course his observant eyes were not going to miss the obvious pain written all over your face. he, who usually remained stoic, seemed quite worried now.
could it be that he worried about you ? or was it just you that needed something to change your mind ? in any case it did make you feel at ease and way better than before.
āyeah!ā you lied. you always did, but as much as you were close to kaveh, you were never that close to alhaitham. you only exchanged banalities most of the time, and a few jokes around.
yet he didnāt seem to believe you; as if he knew you better than that and in the end, perhaps he did.
āliar. come in and wait for kaveh.ā he almost ordered. āitās late, i wouldnāt want to have it on my conscience if something bad happened to you.ā
now he was the one looking away.
you quickly followed him inside the apartment since he kind of insisted. the excuse of not wanting to have something bad on this conscience was only hiding his genuine worry about you.
you guys went on the couch, watching tv but it was only on to fill the silence. none of you spoke. and none of you were paying attention to the series playing on the plasma screen.
alhaitham wasnāt so good with comforting people. a part of him wished he could just hug you and speak nice words that would ease your pain but nothing came.
meanwhile you were still overthinking your night. you calmed down but somehow it felt like a giant wave was about to drown you when the words echoed again.
you apologized to the man who was sitting next to you and went to the bathroom to refresh yourself with some cold water.
now you looked real messy. your hair half wet half dry, your face fully drowned in tears and your eyes swollen like before.
you despised the way you looked and you despised even more the way you didnāt manage to cry quietly because you heard alhaitham knocking on the door.
āy/n open the door.ā he asked. but the door wasnāt closed anyway and after some seconds, alhaitham didnāt have the patience to hear your crying and not to anything about it so he opened the door only to find you sitting down, head on your arms.
you looked up at him. alhaitham gulped at the sight. you were often laughing, always the one joking around with both he and kaveh and he couldnāt believe that you were the one crying on his floor now.
āwho did this to you ?ā he asked, his brows frowning; betraying both his annoyance and anger. he hated to see you like that and he wished to never see you that way again.
he kneeled in front of you and took you into his arms. you couldnāt find strength to say anything so you kept on sobbing against his body, tightening the hug.
his embrace felt good, it really did and you were so grateful for that. you intended on kaveh to be there for you but alhaitham was doing good too.
you managed to stop crying, and alhaitham helped wiping away your tears with both his fingers and a tissue he got from the cupboard.
just at this moment did the two of you heard the front door opening.
āwow wow. stealing away my role tonight alhaitham ?ā kaveh asked when he stepped in on the two of you, very close to each other, and alhaitham caressing your hair and comforting you as best as he could.
āperhaps i will steal it for a longer time.ā alhaitham replied to tease kaveh. and it did work since the two of them started arguing again over everything and anything but it got quite fun to you.
although as much as you and kaveh laughed, alhaitham seemed very serious with his sentence; almost making it sound like a promise.
but you didnāt mind; after all he was the one who comforted you tonight and who made you feel better despite the horrible things you had heard just before.
you could easily get used to such a sweet alhaitham, and if this softness in him was something that made you like him even more; he, had liked you all this time.
and the fact he could be the one to bring up a smile on your face tonight made him feel kinda victorious.
#byizoyas.#alhaitham#alhaitham x you#alhaitham x reader#alhaitham x y/n#alhaitham drabble#alhaitham scenarios#alhaitham fluff#genshin x y/n#genshin x reader#genshin x you#genshin fluff#genshin scenarios#genshin drabbles
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june 3rd, 2023 11:02am
why should i worry? why should i care?
i've been very stressed for the past few weeks because of school stuff. sorry for boring all of you guys with stuff from school, alot of you are probably in school rn and you don't wanna come read this blog only to hear about the thing that you're trying to escape from on the internet in the first place, but i tend to vent alot, so yea. practice regents has really been burning me out, and all of the expectations from my teachers and parents is really burning me out psychologically. jordan wants me to do a practice regents from a few years ago today, which really doesn't sit well with me because the weekend is a time for me to relax, not to just do more work. i just want it all to end. i want summer to just come so that i can work more on creative projects. but oh wait, here's comes summer school. i just figured out yesterday that the summer school program runs from july 5th to august 1st. that's alot longer than for what i signed up for, and i'm starting to regret signing up, but i think i can push through it. i'll try not to be this negative for future posts, but i just needed to vent for a little while. now back to small mundane things that happened to me that are kinda interesting but not that interesting.
my global history teacher is 25 years-old, so she kinda suffers from that gen-z mentality. one time she basically stopped the entire double period in order to brag to everyone that she got tickets to a drake concert, and even chose one of the students to go with her. that's cool, but now i have a missing assignment because you didn't bother to give it to us because you were just too focused on yourself. thanks ms. REDACTED. and i just wanna point out another thing, that she has alot of favorite students. but no, they aren't her favorites because they do well in the class, no, they're her favorites because they are "cool", and really high on the social ladder. she's also ver lenient with them, but not for me. there's a bias. like this one time, alot of students were out one day (including me), and when we all returned the next day, we had a project due, and she gave all of her favorite students that were out a 100, but gave me and all the other kids that work very hard in the class, a 0. and these "cool" kids are the type of kids that vape, smoke weed, and bully others. THOSE KIDS FUCKING BULLY ME AND SHE SAYS NOTHING, BUT WHEN I MAKE A COMMENT ABOUT HOW SOLDIERS FROM 700 YEARS AGO WHO KILLED THEMSELVES BECAUSE THEY FEARED THAT THEY DIDN'T DO WELL IN THE WAR, AND I SAY THAT MAYBE THEY SHOULDN'T HAVE KILLED THEMSELVES, SHE FUCKING SCREAMS AT ME TO THE TOP OF HER LUNGS!!! these kids are racist, sexist, homophobic, etc. and i get screamed at. and she encourages these kids to do these things. they kiss her ass, and she fucking loves it. she says that she cheated her way through high school and college, and i just think to myself "bitch, you should've been left back in kindergarten, that's how stupid you are." i think she's on the autism spectrum.
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#sorry i'm about to vent... feel free to ignore#but i'm shitting my pants rn... i just spoke to a therapist and i have a first appointment tomorrow and i'm freaking out#idk what to expect#idk how it's gonna go#i'm even panicking now cause i have to go to a place i don't know and it's on an apartment#and i always freak out whenever i have to ring the doorbell of an appartment#and i never know it i just go in or do i have to talk to someone?#ok that's stupid but apartments really freak me out (i live in a suburban area i don't see many apartments ok?!)#anyways i'm also freaking out cause i've been really dysphoric lately so it's something that's causing me distress#and now i have to come out as trans to a complete stranger (which should make it easier but i've never done it in person)#and i'm freaking out over that as well#i hate everythign but i can't chicken out now#i don't want to either but i'm really tmpted and now i'm about to cry#and i don't want to cause i have to give explanations to my mom who is sitting next to me right now#anyways I'M FREAKING OUT!#i need time to mentalize and prepeare tomorrow isn't enough time!!#skfhgsfg#AAAHHHHHH#ok nvm ignore this i just needed to write it cause i can't scream#not even into a pillow cause my house is too small and people would hear it#lol#angel talks#personal
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Hia Elsie I hope you're doing well. I was wondering if I could get some Sal comforting a s/o stressed about school/work or something. My classes are killing me rn could use the fluff. No rush though get to it when you can. Thank you and take care of yourself
Sal with a Stressed SO
[GN!Reader]
[Warnings: Like, none?]
[AN: so, you actually sent this when my requests are (still) closed but I'm never shy about favoring my regulars over randos lmfao I'm not sorry. Here you go, love bug. Done as head canons because those are like the easiest for me to actually do rn. I hope you're alright.]
He's a bit of an empath, and well, he's just a perceptive human being. He knows something is up with you and it makes his heart hurt a bit.
Sal isn't actually that prone to stress? Like, he has relatively healthy coping mechanisms to actually get it out of his system.
However, when he sees you stressed about university work, and actual work, he's heart broken.
"Hey there, sweetheart? What's on your mind?" Sal's touch is so soft and gentle as he crawls next to you, warm arms wrapping around your body.
You look stressed. Your eyes are tired, you haven't eaten in a while... everything about you screams needing respite.
You break down and tell Sal EVERYTHING, you've been holding it off for goodness knows how long.
Sal holds you tight as he listens to you and lets you vent. He presses kisses to the crown of your head, letting your energy equalize.
When you're finally ready to come back down, I feel like he just kinda, gets up and starts taking care of you.
Like, your assignments? "Don't worry, either I do them for you or we do them together."
Creates a really safe place for you to unwind and relax because goodness knows you need it!!
Everything is handled for you. Sal gets your favorite food, smothers you in affection and also lets you have your space, like it just works out so well.
Also smooths things out with your job. How does he do it?? Goodness knows but things get a little easier for you once he's done there.
He's super gentle with you. Cuddles you, put on your favorite movies or media, and honestly he has a little fun with you!! Wants to make sure you let loose for one night.
Doesn't let you think about your responsibilities for now, because no. Time to relax and unwind.
I feel Sal is holding onto you much more than usual just because he knows you need his hug. Covers you in sweet smooches.
When you're ready to return back to work, he's there to lighten the load again.
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hi!! can i request a hc of the batfam reaction of their eastasian!reader gf ļæ¼ experiencing racism? thank you <33
just a reminder if you took place in any involvement of asian hate block me rn bitch :)
a/n: i hope you enjoyed this anon, i tried to make it accurate without stepping over any boundaries since im not asian myself. if anyone finds any sort of this offensive pls dm me !!
warning ; racism, batfam beating hoes, mention of blood
parings : bruce wayne x asian!reader, jason tood x asian!reader, dick grayson x asian!reader, stephanieļæ¼ brown x asian!reader, tim drake x asian!reader, damian wayne x asian!reader
BRUCE WAYNE:
itāll honestly take a minute for bruce to realize what happened
when first ļæ¼entering the storeļæ¼ he took notice of the man glaring but brushed it off thinking it was directed towards him as bruce wayne
you however didnt really pay attention to the dirty looks being thrown at you
with bruce excusing himself to the restroom and makes a promise of a quick return, you wander around the area by yourself
it was all fine until a man approaches you, giving a fast glance at him before turning away. there was definitely something up with him
āyou donāt belong hereā
your head shot up at his words, looking around you to make sure he was talking to you
āexcuse me?ā you lift an eyebrow at him, knowing what he was hinting at
āyou fucking heard me, you donāt belong here. go back to your country.ā
you inch away as he steps closer,āyou better back the fuck away..ā
he simply gives a smug face only coming closer,āor what?ā you tighten your jaw when he loosely lets out a slur, your fists clenched.
āor i dislocate your arm.ābruceās voice rings out, deep in anger as his eyes flicker to you and scanning to see if you were ok physically.
the ugly bitchās face pales when he realizes whoās your boyfriend. without hesitation bruce yanks him away from you, slamming him to the wall
demanding for a first and last name, ļæ¼ squeezing his neck when the guy stays quiet
shaking he gives in and tells, flinching when bruce slams him against the wall one last time before dropping him
āi ļæ¼guaranteed whatever poor status you do contain iāll tear it completely, say goodbye to your job.ā he grabs for your hand and brings you into him as you both walk away.
āiām sorry i shouldnāt have left you alone, my fault,āhe presses a kiss to your temple.āand please donāt think any worth of that garbageās words.ā
you shake your head,āhe was just some lowlife, not worth thinking about.ā you reply leaning into him.
he looked at you and could tell no matter what those words still hurt somewhat and it angered him to no end
no one deserved to hear that disgusting shit, especially not his girlfriend.
his eyes hardens but doesnāt pushļæ¼ furtherļæ¼ to make you anymore uncomfortable than you probably already are
giving another kiss to the side of your head he makes a quiet promise to himself not to leave you alone anymore in public with disgusting people like that around
jason todd:
as soon as the slur leaves the guyās lips jasonās fist collides to his jaw, no doubt ļæ¼ ļæ¼ shattering it
ļæ¼you and jason were grabbing lunch at some restaurant slash bar since it was the first time in a few days jason was free
everything was okay until you got up to go to the bathroom and some guy bumped into you
jason watched with hardening eyes as you apologize instead of the guy who slammed into you
āwatch where the fuck youāre going at.ā
you fall shock at the word, staying in place
while jason is on his feet in no time, swinging to the assholeās face
screams were heard as well as the sound of bones breaking from his fist impact, the guy stumbling to the floor
āyou racist fucking prick thatās my girlfriend you ugly fuck,ālifting him by his shirt he grabs his face and turns him to you.āapologize to her before i break your fucking face.ā
he quickly rambles apologizes, crying in fear or pain. most likely a mix of both
jaaon lets him go and gives him another punch, this time to the nose. finding satisfaction at the pool of blood now seeping outļæ¼
jason grabs your hand and starts to lead you outside,āletās go eat somewhere else and forget about this shithole.ā
you barely had time to give a reaction to anything as everything happened so fast
āhey look at me, donāt listen to that worthless fuck and his fucked up mindset. i dont know what to say to comfort you since i never experienced anything like this.ā he stops at the car, placing his hands onto your shoulders
you nod sighing lightly, you only wanted a simple lunch with your boyfriend but instead got hate crime for simply ļæ¼ breathing.
āitās nothing i havenāt gone through before,āhe shakes his head blue eyes filling up with rage.
āno oneās gonna be doing that anymore, or at least getting away with it while iām around
DICK GRAYSON:
he was completely taken by surmise at the slur being thrown at you, as well as the fault of you being the root of the covid 19
but before he had any time to react you were already on your feet glaring,āthe fuck you just called me you piece shit.ā
before he could reply you already kneed him and punched him between the eyes, dick laughing at the cries of pain
āyou want me to take over or you wanna handle it babe?ā
even how badly he wanted to beat the shit out of the pos the choice was yours
you denied and wanted to handle this on your own
but everytime the guy tried to get up dick would just shake his head and tell him to stay down, or simply push him back down
eventually if you start going too far richards would pull you away and tell you hes not worth it
he understands your anger but he doesnāt want you to past a line you wonāt recover from bc of some worthless grime
ācāmon, heās not worth anymore of our time. lets go eat pizza.ā
DAMIAN WAYNE:
swing first talk later
heāll just look at guy for a few seconds with a blank face
then heās literally knocking them out
will probably kick him into the wall or ground
u dont know if you wanna pull him away because you already the tabloids, or if you wanna let him continue to beating the guy
damian probably wouldnāt realize how much he beat the guy to a pulp until youāre tugging him away
nudging his neck with to your nose to try and calm him down
heāll end the fight with spitting on him tbh
your face reddens with anger when your eyes met the racist bitch, enjoying the view of his blood on the floor
āracist pieceļæ¼ of shit,ā he hisses before finally turning his back brow still frowning with anger
unlike the others (mentioned) he also knows and experienced racism and understands your point view way more
and know bow to comfort you better tbh
afterwards heāll talk to you and comfort you, as well as opening up about his racist encounters, as well as his mothers.
if youāre still upset about what happened some hours later he 100% offers to beat up the guy again
you laugh it off cos hes serious about doing detective work, finding the guy and beating him to a pulp
you thank him but deny his offer and settle to confiding into him and just telling him how your feelings
STEPHANIE BROWN:
āare you fucking serious right now bitch?ā
steph deadpans staring at the girl who called you the slur with ease, going on about how you were the cause of corona and to go back to your country
shocked at the words, hearing all of this before but it still doesnāt fail everytime you hear them
turning to you and seeing the hurt on your face from the word, she quickly turns to seeing red
without a second thought she grabs the collar of the womanās shirt
āyouāre gonna fucking apologize to my girlfriend right now or iām gonna slam your face into the floor and break it
you stay still, pleased at watching the girl shake in fear under steph as she chokes out a mesh of a shit rushed apologizes
stephanie throws her down to the ground after her third apologize
āare you okay?ā she knew you werenāt but asking the question would lead into the stage of comforting you
you nod but go on to tell her that this isnāt the first or last time this will happen, but it still never fails to shock you
she frowns at yourļæ¼ experiences and doesnāt quite know what to do to help since she never went thru anything like that
she offers to take you to your favorite restaurant and end the day in wayne manor watching whatever you wanted
smiling when you accept, pulling you in her and pressing a kiss on-top of your head
ādont worry iāll beat any jackass that pulls any racist shit.ā
TIM DRAKE:
i think heāll be the less ļæ¼ violent one out of everyone
he would honestly be so disgusted and gross out at humanity and how the woman thinks shes superior just because sheās white
if it was a guy saying what was said, then he would probably hit them ngl
but he takes the higher road with the woman, belittling and ending her with his vocabulary
and youāre pretty sure that his words hurt her more than an actual punch would ļæ¼
you laugh when he compares her built to a buffaloļæ¼
he then goes on to a more ļæ¼education lean, explaining how skin tone has nothing to do with a person, and she should adapt to modern times and stop being a racist cunt
after he ends it he goes on to find out who she is and email/call her workplace to inform what kind of employee they have
probably also goes on to make sure she wont be hired anywhere else
comforts you alot and and will get you anything you want
prob gets you both milkshakes as you vent to him about today and other racist things said to you
hates how you have to go thru any of this for simply existing
the ļæ¼ incident opens his eyes and he starts talking to bruce about opening a charity for āstop asian hateā
would shy away from the press and say you both came up with the fund
uāll dismiss that rq and tell everyone it was all timās idea
all the money goes people got assaulted and paying for any hospital bills or anything needed
#dc comics#batboys x reader#batfam x reader#batfam#batman#bruce wayne x reader#bruce wayne#batman x reader#jason todd#jason todd imagine#jason todd x reader#dick grayson imagine#dick grayson x reader#dick grayson headcanon#dick grayson#tim drake#tim drake x reader#batfam headcanons#stephenie brown#stephenie brown x reader#jason todd headcanon#bruce wayne imagine#dc comics x reader#batverse#dc comics imagines
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Daisies - Shouto Todoroki x Reader
DISCLAIMER: I DO NOT OWN ANY OF THESE CHARACTERS, THEY BELONG TO KOHEI HORIKOSHI
I should really be going to bed rn but instead I had an idea while listening to some music and got really in my feels SO HERE IT IS <3
Warnings: Angst ending in fluff You could see it in the way that he carried himself. Shouto was nowhere near who he used to be when you first started dating. You missed the stolen glances the two of you shared, the red that took up residence on his cheeks whenever you came into the room, and the subtle touch he gave your hand which indicated that he wanted to hold it in his. You remembered when he would do anything in his power to get home to your shared apartment so that you could have dinner together and maybe watch a movie. Now when he got home, if he came home at all, it would be way past dinner and bordering on the next day. You used to stay up for him, waiting to put his meal you had prepared in the microwave so it could be warm by the time you helped him put away his coat and work bag when he came home from the agency. At first, you believed that it would only be a couple days of this, but those days turned into weeks, and those weeks turned into 3 months. You stopped staying up almost 3 days ago.
Currently, you were on the phone with your mother who was begging you for more details on your two year relationship.
āI know you know this, but your father proposed to me after two years of dating, about as long as you and your boyfriend have been dating,ā she said, making you swallow a lump that was lodged in your throat.Ā
āYouāre right Mom, I do know this. You tell me every chance you get,ā you say in a joking voice with your voice as blank as a slate. You loved your mother, you really did. However, recently, she felt the need to hint at a proposal that you knew was not coming soon, if at all. For the duration, the two of you had never talked about marriage or if you thought about wanting to get married.
āIām just saying, you would look beautiful in a white dress with a bouquet of daisies walking down the aisle. Where is Shouto? I havenāt been able to reach him in a while, can you put him on the phone for me?ā At her words, you rub your eyes with your right hand and will yourself not to cry. Youāve already cried enough these past two weeks.
āU-um,ā you begin, your voice wavering, āheās n-not home. Probably wonāt be for a while.ā
ā...Honey, is something the matter?ā She asks, concern laced in her voice. Itās the soft comfort in her voice that makes you break. You sob into the phone, letting your tears run down your face.
āM-mom Iām so scared,ā you say, crying through your words. āI-I donāt think he loves me anymore.ā You feel your body shake from your weeping, now holding onto the edge of the kitchen counter for support.Ā
āOh, Y/N...ā your mother says, her voice quiet.
āHe hasnāt come home for days and when he does come home, I feel like weāre strangers. I havenāt been able to talk to him and see whatās actually going in his life in so long that now our conversations are one of us commenting on the weather. THE WEATHER!ā You scream into the phone as you walk over to your couch and collapse onto it. Your mother stays quiet as you vent, and boy, do you vent. On how Shoutoās given you the excuse of āworkā when you know for a fact that your friend Ochacoās husband, Midoriya, worked at the same level that Shouto did and he came home at 7:30 sharp every night, and she lived ten minutes farther away from the agency than you did. How he hasnāt made an effort to try and take you on a date in months. How heās stopped doing anything to make you feel like you were in a relationship.
āY/N, you know what you have to do.ā Your mother says, her voice serious.
āIf youāre implying that I should break up with him-ā
āNo honey. You need to talk to him, and not about the weather. You need to tell him what you just told me and how much his actions have been hurting you. And, if he doesnāt see the fault in his actions, thatās when I would let him go. If anything happens, you can always have your old room back. I miss your cooking anyways, I feel like the house has downgraded from a 5-star restaurant to a 2-star one ever since you moved out.ā This earned her a light laugh from you as you began to wipe the salty tears from your cheeks and take a deep breath.
āThank you Mom,ā you say.
āIām always here for you Y/N, you know that. Iāll always be in your corner,ā she says. You say goodbye and exit from your phone app to open up messages. You send Shouto a simple and concise message.
Y/N: I would really appreciate it if you could get home a little earlier tonight. We need to talk.
What shocked you was that almost immediately after, you saw the three dots pop up on the opposite side of the screen.
Shouto: Okay. Something up?
You were definitely not going to be starting this conversation over text. Absolutely not.
Y/N: Weāll talk when you get home.
The three dots didnāt pop up again, so instead, you decided to make dinner. You prepared a simple yet fail-safe comfort dinner for yourself, (favorite meal). Just as you finished fixing a plate for yourself and covered the rest in foil, you heard the faint jingle of keys outside of the apartment door. Your eyes dart up and your heart begins to beat wildly. Not in months has he been home early enough to have dinner with you - you thought you wouldāve had more time to prepare what you were going to say to him. The door swings open to reveal Shouto with his work bag slung around his shoulder, hero costume stuffed in it. That detail stood out to you - never has Shouto not folded it carefully in order to prevent wrinkles. He dropped his bag near the front door and slid off his shoes. When he met your eyes, you stopped chewing instantly. The two of you stayed in your positions, perfectly still, until you slowly got up and grabbed an extra plate, putting a good portion of the meal you made onto it, and set it across from your spot at the dining room table. As you were sitting back down, Shouto walked towards you slowly, warily. It was like he was trying not to spook you. Like if he made any abrupt movements, you would jump up out of your chair and run for the hills. In his hand, you noticed, he held a daisy, which he placed on the table. Daisies always used to be a thing between the two of you. On your first date, he had taken you on a picnic in a meadow surrounded by the white dainty flowers. Daisies meant that you loved the other person. Taking a forkful of the food and placing it into his mouth, you could see him relax a bit. He always had a soft spot for your cooking, no matter what he felt like. The silence was overwhelming as the two of you ate, so Shouto decided to clear his throat.
āItās been a long time since we had dinner together, huh.ā He says. This simple sentence, just those 11 words, set you off. You slam your fork onto the table making Shouto jump a bit in his chair.
āYes, Shoto, it has been. Itās been 3 months and 5 days since we last shared a meal together.ā You say, venom leaking from your voice. Shouto instantly knew what this ātalkā you wanted to have was about. Just as he was about to open his mouth to respond, you cut him off. āNo,ā you simply say, ālet me speak first. I could forgive the first couple of weeks when you came home late or said you had to stay over at the agency, but good god, what has been consuming all of your time that has made you spend more hours there than you have at home? I know for a fact that Midoriya works in the same department and has the same title and responsibilities that he has, but heās home at 7:30 on the dot every night to see his wife and have dinner with her.ā You snarl. āYou havenāt been visiting home, Iāve called Natsuo and Fuyumi to ask if you were there and they said no. You havenāt been visiting your mother because the nurse makes sure to send an alert to our computer system for security reasons. So what, what has consumed your life in such a way that you donāt want to spend your time with me anymore?ā As much as you tried, you couldnāt help it. You feel the moisture on your cheeks before you can comprehend that you're crying. Shoutoās face falls, his heart breaking as he can see yours has been crumbled for a long time.
āY/Nā¦ Iām so sorry,ā he says, his gaze never faltering from yours. He takes a deep breath and stands from his seat, making his way over to yours and kneeling in front of you. āIā¦,ā he choked out. You always knew that putting his feelings into words has never been one of Shoutoās strong suits, so you granted him the time to slowly get his thoughts together. āI freaked out.ā He said simply.
āW-what?ā You said, confused.
āI know weāve been together for a long time, and I know that youāre looking for someone to settle down with and I freaked out because I didnāt think that I was a person who could do that.ā You close your eyes and exhale. āIāve been staying out late because Iāve been going to counseling, and I couldnāt let it get in the way of work. I wanted to help myself so that I could make the both of us happy and partake in an equal and loving relationship. I know I shouldāve told you, but Iā¦ I just couldnāt get myself to spit it out.ā You slid from the chair to your knees so you could be on the same level as Shouto was. Shouto rustled around in his jacket pocket and what was in his hands made your eyes widen. It was a small velvet box which left little to imagine what was inside. Before he could say another word, you put a hand on top of it to prevent him from opening it. This caused panic to flash in his eyes as they darted up to look into yours.Ā
āShoutoā¦ I love you. You know that I love you, but are you sure?ā You make sure to squeeze his hand. āI need you to be completely sure before you do this, because I am, and I canāt imagine myself with anyone else.ā
āYes.ā He says, instantly. You smile and lean your forehead against his. What confuses him is when you grab the box and nestle it back into his coat pocket.
āThis is not me saying no. I just think we need to get back into our old groove before this happens. We both know that we want to reach that milestone, but we need to run there first, okay?ā You ask. Shouto exhales and reaches his hand up to cup your cheek.
āOkay. You share a kiss and let yourselves cry and hold the other. Shoutoās strong arms now move to tighten around your waist, which sends you over the moon. He hadnāt done that in a long time.Ā
āLetās go to bed, yeah? I donāt want you to be late tomorrow.ā You whisper, sniffling.
āNo. Iāll shoot Midoriya a text telling him that Iām not gonna be in tomorrow. I want to make up for lost time.ā Elated, more tears trail down your cheek, but these were happy ones. Letting Shouto pick you up, he carried you with such care to your soft bed and helped you get changed into pajamas. He taps your shoulders to get you to hold your arms straight up so that he can slide the blouse you wore to work today off of you. You unclip the pinchy bra you wore yourself and slid down the flowy pants you wore until they pooled around your feet. Shouto handed you one of his shirts, the one youāve always had a soft spot for. It was now ragged with holes and falling apart at the seams, but the softness of the material enveloped you as he helped your arms through the sleeves. When you poked your head through the top of the shirt, Shouto gently gathered your hair and pulled it out of the shirt, laying it down your back. He himself then got changed and climbed into bed next to you. The two of you were like magnets with opposite poles, immediately being attracted to the otherās side. You lay your head on his chest and you feel his chin find its place on top of your head. You finally felt peaceful. Felt loved. And, more importantly, felt Shouto at your side.
āI love you,ā he breathes. The air he exhales tickles your neck which only makes you nestle into him more.
āAnd I love you,ā You murmur.
āWeāre going to get married one day, okay?ā He says, brushing a hand over your hair and playing with the ends of it.
āOkay.ā You smile, a smile gracing your face as you drift off. Shoutoās heart didnāt slow to its normal pace until hours later. He was proud of himself. He finally admitted to himself that he was ready to enter a relationship where he knew that both of you felt the same way. For the entire time the two of you dated, he knew that he loved you, but he was terrified that one day, a switch would go off and his parentsā relationship would become yours. But now, with you in his arms agreeing to marry him one day, although he hadnāt yet formally proposed, guided him into a blissful sleep. Dreamworld decided to be nice to him, because all he could picture in his mind as he slumbered away were images of you, rings, and daisies
#todoroki shouto#shouto#shouto x reader#shoto x reader#todoroki shoto x reader#shoto todoroki#bnha shoto todoroki#bnha shoto#shoto#todoroki x y/n#todoroki x reader#todoroki angst#shouto todoroki x reader#shouto todoroki x you#shoto todoroki x reader#shoto todoroki x you#angst#mha x y/n#mha imagines#mha x reader#mha#mha shoto#angst ending with fluff
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girl crush (lrh) - chapter two
summary - luke is 19 and 5sos is at the top of their game. daisy harlow is a solo artist becoming more popular by the day. daisy and luke ādateā for publicity but some real feelings start to spark during their forced time together. the only problem? luke has a girlfriend.Ā Ā
warnings - none! (for this chapter)
word count - 1.1k
a/n - chapter two! hope you guys enjoy :)
LUKE'S POV
āLook at this photograph!ā Michael screams, holding a sparkly blue hair brush as his microphone.Ā
āMichael, you sound like a dying cat,ā Calum laughs, throwing a stiff decorative pillow and hitting Michael in the junk. Mikey doubles over in pain, cursing Calumās first born child while we all crack up.Ā
The boys and I sit in the backroom, tuning our instruments and preparing to go on soon, chatting and dicking off as per usual. I glance over at the television mounted in the corner. A girl is singing. She looks familiar but I canāt place her.Ā
āAsh, pass the remote,ā I say to Ashton distractedly.Ā
He tosses the remote in my direction and I catch it, clicking the unmute button. Her voice floods the room. It's mesmerizing. The boys immediately shut up about whatever they were talking about and turn to look at the TV, listening to the small brunette on the screen.
āMy soulās looking for a better way to deal with all the little changes that keep freaking me out. Wouldnāt hurt to figure--ā
āWhoās that?ā Calum asks.
āShhhh!ā I shoosh him angrily, turning up the volume. I hear a hurt, āsorry, jeez,ā from the other side of the room.
āSo I donāt let me down. Sitting in the middle of a city with a million strangers and it's getting too loud.ā The girl continues to sing. The song is beautiful. Sheās sitting criss-cross applesauce on the stool, her legs tucked into her comfortably. She seems just that -- comfortable. Like she was made to be sitting up on that stage. Her voice is filled with emotion, the kind of emotion that's raw and unfiltered. I find myself unable to peel my eyes away from her green ones. Who is this girl? And why do I want to know?
My phone buzzes in my jean pocket and I pull it out absentmindedly. Glancing down quickly, I almost ignore it before I see the name written across the screen: Bella.Ā
I know you arenāt supposed to roll your eyes when your girlfriend texts you, but I couldnāt help it.Ā
Bella: what are you doing rn?
I type back quickly, figuring I shouldnāt ignore her even if Iām pissed.Ā
Sent: about to perform.
I tuck my phone away. Iāll deal with her later. My eyes travel back up to the screen like some kind of magnetic pull. The brunette finishes the last line of the song and I find myself wishing she would keep going.Ā
The crowd applauds and she blushes holding her hands up to her cheeks in shock and appreciation. She blows kisses to the adoring crowd and hops down from her stool, shaking hands with the band and thanking them.
Who is she?
DAISYāS POV
I swipe my key and watch the little light turn green before turning the door handle, huffing as I push past my front door. I toss my keys on the counter and groan, running my hands through my hair. What have I gotten myself into?
I didnāt get the chance to meet Luke at the event before getting whisked away for an interview but the more I think about it, the more I regret ever agreeing to be apart of this stupid marketing ploy. Mariah is going to make me lose all my hair from pure stress.
āMissy, come here baby,ā I call to my brown fluff ball of a cat. She trots around the corner and rubs up against my legs sweetly.
I lean down to scoop her up in my arms. āMommy missed you, sweet pea.ā Artemis meows in response. I take that as a āI missed you too mommyā but it was probably more like āI need to throw up this hair ball and Iām gonna do it on your carpet. You might want to put me down.ā Missy jumps from my arms and I sit down on the couch, flipping on Netflix and searching for something mindless to watch.Ā
My phone buzzes softly beside me. I sigh in aggravation. Rest and relaxation is never easy. I pick it up aggressively and sigh deeper at the label on the message: Mariah <3. I already have a sneaking suspicion what this will be about.Ā
Mariah <3: hi babes. hope you made it home safe. operation aussie boy is a-go. the AMAs are next week and guess who pulled some strings so youāll be sitting right next to the 5sos boys? no thank you required, I know Iām amazing. love you, sleep tight.Ā
I tugged at my hair, running my hands over my face. Iām gonna have to see him next week? At least it wonāt be just us two. Less chance for awkward polite conversation. I hope his bandmates are nice.Ā
I pull up Virginiaās name in my phone and press ācall.ā I need to vent and sheās virtually my only friend on the planet. But she just happens to be the best one ever so it's kind of alright.
āHey Daisy cakes, whatās up?ā She chirps. āHowād that performance go today?āĀ
āIt went alright. I was really nervous but I didnāt fuck up so I guess it went the best it couldāve.ā I pick at my cuticles and mindlessly watch the characters on screen bicker.Ā
āThatās awesome. Iām sure you were great, Daise.ā She sounds like sheās digging into a bag of chips.Ā
āYou have too much faith in me. Anyways, I called because Mariah wants me to fake date Luke Hemmings from 5 Seconds of Summer.ā I murmur nonchalantly, getting aggravated again just at the thought. āIām sitting right next to him at the VMAs next weekend.ā
āOh. My. God. This is fantastic. It's going to be a modern day love story. I can sense these things. Heās your soulmate,ā she concludes excitedly, holding back squeals no doubt.
āMy god Virginia, absolutely not. Stop watching so much Long Island Medium you canāt sense these things,ā I groan. āYou sound like fucking Haley Joel Osment. Do you see dead people too, Virginia?āĀ
āHa-ha. Iām a top notch love doctor not fucking Lorraine Warren - may she rest in peace,ā She counters.
āTop notch love doctor my juicy ass. Text me if you want to get lunch tomorrow, I have to feed Artemis before she eats me.ā I tuck the phone between my shoulder and ear as I stand up, clearing dishes from this morning off the coffee table.Ā
āAlright, love you.ā
āLove you, bye.ā I hang up and pull out a can of Missyās food.
No matter how many things I do to try and get my mind off of this set up, I keep traveling back to Luke. Thereās something about him I canāt put my finger on.Ā
And dammit, Iām gonna figure it out.Ā
#luke hemmings#luke hemmings imagine#luke hemmings fluff#luke hemmings imagines#luke hemmings x reader#luke#5sos#5sos fanfic#5sos imagines#5sos x reader#5sos x you#calum 5sos#5 seconds of summer#5 seconds of smut#5 seconds of summer imagines#calum 5 seconds of summer#luke 5 seconds of summer#michael clifford#ashton 5sos
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Ignore this if you want, imma just vent real quick because I am FRUSTRATED. From least to most frustrating:
Because it is winter and I live in Canada it is dry asf which is making my eczema get really bad, mostly on my hands and insides of knees and elbows. It Hurts and keeps bleeding and I cannot stand putting the cream on because itās sticky and it is hell. I do it right before I fall asleep but even having it on for those few minutes is absolute hell because then I stick to the sheets and get fuzz on me and itās gross and I hate it with a passion.
I still have to get my MRI results from a month ago but I donāt know how to call the hospital to make the appointment with the doctor because I have to file an extension and I donāt know how and I donāt know who to call and it makes me want to scream. Also I have to get my doctor to refer me to someone so I can get diagnoses for a few more things that I know are happening. Iām kind of frustrated that my younger sister got diagnosed with all her mental illnesses before me. I know itās shitty of me. Iām glad she has her diagnosis and everything, Iām just frustrated that I donāt yet.
Iām doing a good job at work though apparently. My manager told me she knows how hard I work and sheās very thankful for it and sheās offering to give me more hours. Which is kind of frustrating because like yay more hours, yay maybe I wonāt be so broke, but also I work evenings so getting more hours means that Iāll probably start working until 1-3 am, but I have to wake up early to take care of my nephew, and nowhere is open that late except for fast food places, so Iām going to end up eating even more shittily than I am because I donāt want to get home at 3 am and make food. My grandparents bedroom is right next to the kitchen, I donāt want to wake them up.
Still related to work, it was very busy at work last night because it was a Friday and it was cold (I deliver pizzas). The owners of our store were in last night to help because weāre understaffed (in the middle of hiring more people). Iām going to call one of them S. Heās lowkey a dick. Me and the 9 other drivers last night were in the back hall folding pizza boxes (what weāre supposed to be doing when we arenāt on a run or otherwise busy doing something). It was starting to slow down, so one of my coworkers bought some food and was eating it in the back hall, and the rest of everyone was kind of distracted and talking (except for me, I was folding boxes because nobody was including me in conversation). It shouldnāt have been a big deal, weāre allowed to eat and talk during work as long as what needs to be done is getting done, which it was, I was doing it. And even if I wasnāt doing it, it should have been fine, my coworker who was eating dinner had opened and been there for 6 hours already. S decided that he would come yell at everyone for not doing enough. He started yelling at my coworker eating dinner and basically saying āif I have to be working, so do youā (S had like just started). After yelling at everyone else for not doing anything, he decided to try to get me on his side because I was working, by saying ā[he] shouldnāt have to be doing all the work, that isnāt fair, is it?ā I just kind of shrugged, I didnāt know what tf to say to that. I was honestly perfectly content folding pizza boxes on my own. Thereās not that much space (let alone space for 10 people to be doing it).
And last but not least, the most stressful thing rn is that CAS (childrenās aid) kind of placed my one and a half year old nephew with my family because his mom is negligent. My family being: my 70 year old grandparents who are both disabled/chronically ill, my dad who works full time, my mentally ill 16 year old sister, and me, a disabled, mentally and chronically ill 18 year old who works almost full time. During the day my sister is at school and my dad is at work, so itās just my grandparents and I watching my nephew (mostly my grandma and I if sheās feeling well that day, if not, then just me). I love my nephew to death, heās the cutest kid ever, but he has SO MUCH energy. I wake up at 7 to drive my dad to work, and I sometimes drive my sister to school if she misses her bus. I come home, fall asleep for another hour until my nephew wakes up. I spend the better part of the day taking care of him and keeping the house tidy. I usually start work at 5, and frequently donāt get home until midnight. I usually fall asleep before 2, and it starts again. My nephewās supposed to be back with his grandma and mom on the weekends (they live together). Today, his grandma decided she wants to go out with her friends, so weāre babysitting the kid again. She sees him two days a week. But no, she canāt bring him with her to her friendās house for like two hours, she has to bring him here so I can spend one of my two free days watching him and running errands. Iām frustrated and tired and I need a fucking hug lol.
Sorry for the rant
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i sent an ask about my asshole of a dad before, so he made me go to one of his work functions today and all of his co-workers kids are really mean and rude to me, and the place was crowed and loud, i had a meltdown (he likes to call them tantrums) so he grabbed me and we left, he screamed at me when we got back and slapped me for 'being a retard' my mama picked me up and left me in the car to scream at him. i'm so sorry for putting this all on you but i need to vent and mama is asleep.
oh my god dude, iām so so so so so sorry you had to go through that. i know you probably know this, but just in case: his behaviour was despicable, inappropriate and absolutely, in no way, your fault. iām so sorry i got to this late (im super overwhelmed rn), but please try your best to take care of yourself, yeah? even in knowing that heās in the wrong, these sorts of things are emotionally taxing, and you deserve all the loving on. iām glad your mama was able to remove you from the situation, though; itās important that youāre safe and removed from the situation. what he did is awful and fuck, you donāt deserve it. youāre worth a million of him. love ya xx
(and thereās no need to be sorry ! my ask is always open. iām so sorry i didnāt get to the ask straight away, though. i hope youāre doin even a lil better)
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Vent time
Homophobia tw// religion//
Iām on mobile so I canāt make a read more please skip if you donāt want to read.
I work at a hallmark store (a card store) in the south usa and a guy comes up to the register and asks me if we sell same sex romantic cards. I say yes thinking he wants to buy one and he immediately goes into this rant about how we DARE sell Easter cards next to same sex cards and how heās a christian man so itās just what he believes and how Iām young and young kids donāt have faith anymore so I wouldnāt understand but I tell him yes I am a Christian. We arenāt allowed to talk back to the customers so I just respond āwe sell what hallmark tells us to.ā And he deflated and just says āyeah well I know itās not your fault but I canāt believe this is the world we live in! God bless America huh?ā And im not supposed to say anything but I know if I didnāt say anything I would feel just complacent and complicit. But I also really would like to keep my job because Iām also a college student who needs money so I just said āwell rights for everyone is better than rights for no one.ā Which yikes I know I shouldāve said something better to defend the community and myself since Iām bi but I literally choked up because he was so direct about it and the other people in the store were all staring at me. But you know what he said in response to me?? He said āwell I donāt believe that. I donāt believe rights for all is better than rights for the righteousā like ARE YOU KIDDING ME HOW CAN YOU BE THIS WAY IN 2019 I WANT TO SCREAM BC IM FRUSTRATED I COULDVE HANDLED IT BETTER AND IM FRUSTRATED I LIVE IN A PLACE WHERE TALKING LIKE THAT IS COMPLETELY FINE AND WELCOME AND IM FRUSTRATED THAT HE THINKS THAT HES RIGHT. IM A CHRISTIAN BI PERSON AND I LOVE GOD ITS TOTALLY OK TO BE BOTH. And Im not an angry person I hate being angry and it takes a lot to make me angry at all Iāve never had my hands shake with anger before and that scares me too. The catholic bible doesnāt even condem homosexuality they condem sex before marriage which is what always gets taken out of context, I donāt know the exact verse off the top of my head Iām at work rn but Iām also angry that heās justifying hate in the name of God and heās using Gods name in vain by doing that. LGBTQ+ people should not have to live in a world where this type of speech or opinion even exists. We are people. I hope one day he can let go of the hate in his heart. And Iām sorry this paragraph is a mess with no breaks Iām just putting all my thoughts down here so they can get out of my head ok thanks bye
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@fireeaglespirit @viviane-lefay i do worry sometimes with the stories I write if things might be too much for you. To be fair I dont think in any fanfic Ive ever written anything too explicit but now Im so conscious of other peopleās viewpoints and being inclusive that it is a concern. Ultimately I write what I want to/need to but I am aware it might not be for all tastes hence always trying to follow ratings etc.
Replying here so it doesnāt cause any problems with OP, etc..
Ohh. Iām sorry if this worried you.. tbh this was very random and I wasnāt even thinking about fiction when I rb this. This one reminded me of a few times I went out with friends and colleagues and I just felt starkly asexual, lmao
About my tolerance regarding sex and explicitly in fiction, Iāll be honest with youā¦
Thereās hardly anything I could say I wouldnāt read about. I just donāt feel ātriggersā or anything of the sort, no hard feelings when it gets to fiction and I value your will to be conscious of other viewpoints but its practically impossible to cater to all tastes like you said, so donāt worry about it muchā¦ thereās always someone out there who will feel offended and others who will fiercely love it.
As for myself, Iām very tolerant to sexual content in fiction, idk? I donāt seek it out particularly but its not a deal breaker either.
I know some asexual people are less tolerant, I usually just get a āmehā feeling whenever those subjects are touched in much detail, idk some works do get nasty and bothersome because of much detail involving sexual practices so I just give up on them or put them aside when they bring me no joy but I gladly consume material with sex on it as long as I like some aspects of it. Also, Iām good at ignoring or glossing over things I donāt like in fictionā¦ when I read explicit scenes with intercourse it does nothing to me and my eyes focuses on the sentences I loved such as regarding the feelings between the characters and subtle interactions instead of the physical/carnal aspects of it, and this makes it all worthy it.
Even so, some works might become overwhelmingly depressive or repulsive so I might put them aside even if I enjoyed an aspect of it or I might just skip through them and this happened recently to a series of fantasy books I tried to read which were actually really good but they were so overwhelmingly and unnecessarily dark and had an horrid oppressive atmosphere towards women an sex so I just felt no joy reading them? Its not like I was traumatized by its tone but it felt like a chore and I couldnāt care about it further and no character inspired me whatsoever that the world could change for the better, so I dropped them.
But its not like Iām judging it, I just feel weirded out to some things and I just imagine the kind of mind that takes upon themselves the chore to write a whole series of book which has nothing but suffering and misery in them, especially concerning women, lol. We already had this shit in history and still have in some places in the world so I kinda feel like its not interesting for me to read about it in a fictional setting, especially if I donāt feel like the writer is going to challenge the setting.
But Iām aware most people are much more sensitiveā¦ these things can be horrid for those who are more sensitive, and perhaps my own asexuality protects me from feeling it fully as I donāt even think of myself as a being capable of partaking in this (weird, I know), so I have problem even projecting.
But I did felt really strongly for the way women were oppressed absurdly and had their agency completely obliterated, so that sparked a sort of empathy or kinship in me which made progress in such book a choreā¦
You got my point and this just illustrates a bit my relationship to fiction and things that irk me since you were interested in my opinionā¦ I have another example of fantasy book with lots of sex in it:
I read asoiaf even thought its full of sexual stuff but I donāt feel joy at these parts, yet the work is so good on other themes that I ignore it for the most partā¦ but even so, recently Iāve read F&B and it was kinda overwhelming on the sexist aspect with myriads of female characters turned into child brides and raped and dying at their childbirth repeatedly it just got very tiresome and repetitive near the end, because there where almost no counterpoints to it, unlike in the main series where the situation is dire for women but we have characters challenging it more often and idk. F&B just lacked on that front.
So, this shows a bit my sensitivity towards sex is more related to sexism and the feeling that women are confined to their reproductive aspects: motherhood, childbearing, marriage, sensuality, etc.. I donāt have a problem with sexual intercourse per se as you can see, but thatās from my unique point of view and I know some asexuals are more repulsed towards it, but you asked my opinionā¦
So, if its consensual sex: its not my cup of tea but I donāt feel like its a deal breakerā¦
Just to give you a positive sex example: when I see an OTP of mine getting to the point of having sex I think its pretty sweet, like when Jon and Dany consummated their love on that boatā¦ I was happy for them, for all that it means, the symbolism between the union of ice and fire and just two characters which I love dearly, finding happiness and comfort in each other. Whatās not to love about it??
This is a rare stance I can say I saw a pair I ship get to that point xD
I love shipping as you know, but its more about the psychological aspects and potential for character development and even when Iām reading fanfic about my OTPs I enjoy more the angst and symbolism than the āhotā parts which usually just makes me go āmehā (again).
So this makes me say: when sex is the focus of works I could feel like Iām too asexual for this, even if it regards an OTP, it just doesnāt have a very exciting effect on me or Iām not explicitly interested in this part of a relationship, when so many other things caught my eyeā¦ sometimes subtle interactions and dialogue and and gentle approximation (touches, caresses, kissing, etc..) is so much more exciting for me to read about than the āthingā itself, lol.
To sum it up: when its there just for p*rn or even worse, shock value it just makes me go āmehā or āughā or āuhh why am I even reading this?ā
This reminds me of Viviās take on the āhiero gamosā, in this case I just say I might even enjoy the theme as long as the scenes involving sex are meaningful and passionate and the aspect I value the most about them are sublime and platonic instead of carnal but Iām aware the carnal aspects are very important for the characters and the audience so I also worry when I get to show my stories people will think they lack sexual content ^^ Ā I get you.
Now that you know my feelings towards sex in fiction, to a broader sense I just wanted to say..
Thereās no way to guess peopleās sensitives but it doesnāt mean you need to walk on eggshells afraid to trigger people all the time, hell no! Iām all for freedom of creation. At least around me there are no metaphorical āeggshellsā.
Everyone has their own set of opinions which makes them unique, not just me, I meanā¦ Ā even so I will let my snowflake syndrome show but Iām quite peculiar if you could say, so I sort of grew a strong ācarapaceā towards the world as I deal with people with completely different views and values on a daily basis which might make me have inflamed political opinions while at the same time, Iām very flexible and forgiving when it comes to fiction in general.
I donāt expect much of the population to be like this so Iām also self conscious when it gets to writing my own stuff because I know people can feel very strongly about it and youāve seen the way fandom reacts to minor things and bash creators when they perceive flaws in their workā¦ Iām just not a judgmental person, its not in my nature. I just ignore things in fiction if I donāt like and I became even more relaxed over time in regards to this all, lol I nearly reached a ānirvanaā as I donāt even feel strongly negative feelings in regard to this.
Snarky and bitter comments from time to time? Yesā¦ but no hard feelings. RL needs my hatred, lol so I donāt have it to spare with fiction any longer.
Anyway, on an unrelated sub noteā¦ as you might have noticed, I donāt feel comfortable about current fandom trends and specially policing, and with reason as this gets very serious and quick with literally āwave chain reactionsā of hatred sparked apparently from nowhere. I hope people could create more freely instead of the political correct police and restraining of creativity we have now. It was good for a while and Iām all for diversity and change in status quo (for the better), but I think this has gone too far and I perceive a lot of rigidity in fiction right now due to fear of fandom backlash we have creators afraid to make their thing and afraid it isnāt āinclusive or progressiveā enoughā¦ so they bend themselves endlessly until fandom āapprovesā them, but even so someone is bound to scream and say the work is offensive and the cycle of hatred is restarted.
I know this reply was like a huge egocentric monologue and I strained with non related issues at the end, but you asked my thought on this so I tried to convey it with detail.. including things related to the perception we have concerning fictional themes and I just kinda had to vent at some parts of it.
etcā¦. This doesnāt mean I forbid judgment from others or criticism or that I forbid people from harshly criticizing works of fiction, just that sometimes it gets more harmful than beneficial and scare people off, and I felt like saying that.
Anyway,,, just want to say nonetheless I find it very sweet and considerate that you are taking different opinions in mind while writing, but you donāt need to worry at least from my part, and I donāt think you ever got even close to being explicit in your writings so thereās absolutely nothing to worry about.
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HIIII iām back <3 kinda, just have one more exam and iām done hh i canāt wait to take a break from living the exam seasonās special ultra hermit lifeĀ
AHHH i love looking for alaska sm ?? one of the best books iāve ever read gosh and turtles all the way down was so raw and personal it took me sooo manyyy business days to recover from that one. AND YESS dystopian is one of the lomlsĀ Ā
OML YOUāRE GETTING INTO EXO yes they are just good, hard to skip, literally run on -34853 braincells etc etc. love them sm. ahjfg i literally check out baekhyun screaming compilations on youtube iām SO not normal ab them. checkĀ thisĀ one out it hhh andĀ thisĀ playboy is like one ofĀ thoseĀ songs for me so that video made me go *SCREAMMMMMMMS INTO PILLOWW*Ā
your bias is baekhyun and chanyeol AHHH 2/3 of the beagle line alr theyāre not even the maknaes or anything but theyāre so chaotic. literally every reality show theyāve been in so far is just them doing their thing and suho trying to get shit under control. OML AND SEHUN ?? is that a thing for aries men pattern i see lmao man is so sassy, has like the most iconic lines to rap andd is so memeable (NOT EVEN KIDDING HIS MEMES ARE USED SM IN KPOP FANDOMS)Ā Ā
also check out exo next door !! i saw it back when i was trying to get to know them better and it kinda helped bc ITāS LEGIT A KDRAMA WITH THEM BEING EXO. thereās like no plot and itās just brainless romance w chanyeol as ml,Ā kyungsoo as second ml and moon ga young as fl (typical love triangle no surprises kk) but itās funny and i think you need to know ab this hehe (baekhyun on top sehun in the bottom and ykw thatās the got to be the weirdest thing iāve typed out BYE)
YKJDF kyungsoo is funny when heās not being a violent little dude šš so attractive tho. heās the loml. period.Ā
NAURR you missed prom ahh pandemic era was so bad. literally the worst. fun fact: my batch missed a v important set of final exams bc of covid jj but iāll be writing it this year (2023) so itās not like iām missing anything š¤§ oh new uni?? IN A NEW PLACE AHHH iām so proud of you bar <3 moving to a new place for uni sounds so hard i hope you settle down soon. AGHHHHHH iām of 0 help when it comes to social interactions šš but !! i can listen.Ā Ā Ā
no bc one of the first few thoughts that entered my brain after watching the yangynag cover was hjhk idt he knows how to play it tho lmao itās like how ncit and that nct coding crew thing happened but they idt they actually code kfjgĀ
also thoughts on 2 baddies NGL I FIND THE NAME 2 BADDIES HILARIOUS FOR SM REASON LIKE 2?? BADDIES?? REALLY ?? catchy song tho i havenāt checked the album yet hhĀ
DONT GET ME STARTED ON THE DREAM CONCERT LIKE ID NEED AN AMBULANCE IF THEY DID SHIT LIKE THAT WATCHING ON A DUCKING SCREEN MADE ME GO KJFDGHDJKDFGH IMAGINE WATCHING IT LIVE OKAY THIS JUST FUELLED THE URGE TO SEE THEM LIVE I WANNA SEE THEM LIVE SO BAD AND DEAR DREAM :(((
andjenonyfwjusthappenedkfj āour jeno baby went to new york totally nakedā so true jaemin (not complaining tho)
ily too stay safe <33 gosh i hope the move wasnāt too hard <3 just so you know i'm here if you need to vent
hello!!! im so sorry for replying late but i was at uni very very drained of all time and energy :( and when i finally opened this and went to answer, tumblr decided to crash when i was ending my answer so i lost all of it and it was very late in the evening and i had driving class the next morning so i just went to sleep DKFJAL hope you dont mind! also im hoping exam season is officially over for you and that you get to rest!!!!!
HELL YEAH IM GETTING INTO EXO (well, as much as i can w my schedule rn hahaha) I WATCHED BOTH OF THESE VIDEOS AND WHY DO I KNOW PLAYBOY? I KNOW MORE EXO SONGS THAN I THOUGHT I DID LMAO also baek screaming is a big fat mood i am like that too. him and chanyeol are so chaotic i lowkey think thats why i love them so much they just own my heart with their chaos <33 A THING FOR ARIES MEN IM SCREECHING to be honest i actually have a thing for fire and air signs in general (mainly leos, sagittariuses, aquariuses and geminis lmaoo) and none of my biases are earth/water signs if i dont count baek, ningning and beomgyu LOL but SEHUN IS SO MEMORABLE and i love his raps. i listened to the exo-sc album when it came out and its stuck in my head 24/7 and for some reason every time im driving, 1 billion views always gets stuck in my head LMAO
ill make sure to check out exo next door when i have the time and energy!! also the screenshot is so random WHY DID YOU THINK OF SENDING ME THIS DFJKDAL NOT SAYING I HATE IT BC I DONT BUT WHAT EVEN IS THAT AND WHY ARE THEY LIKE THAT DKFA
yes i missed prom but it was actually a good thing bc i hated my class lmaoooo. also yea! i moved last sunday,,, cried for three days straight and then when i came home yesterday i cried again. uni is so hard and im so lost and lonely and homesick and i hate everything about it. i wish i could come back home but,, i just gotta battle through it for the next approx. 3-5 years :DD
YANGYANG FOR SURE DOESNT KNOW HOW TO PLAY THE GUITAR HE LEGIT WASNT EVEN PRESSING DOWN THE STRINGS. INAAWSIA YY CANT RELATE...... /j also the ncit coding thing was so wild for me for some reason bc you could SEE that they dk what theyre doing. the only person that could have some clue was jungwoo but....i doubt it LMAO but also hyuck in those concept photos...............still thinking abt him tied up in those cords on the floor w that bloody lollipop in his mouth im-
2 baddies is the catchiest song there exists the title makes me crack the fuck up its so funny DJFKLA i love it tho!!!!! havent checked out the whole album yet but designer's been on repeat its so good!!!! if you listened already, tell me your faves and ill make sure to get to it soon so we can talk abt it :pp
THE DREAM CONCERT AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA RENJUN IN THAT GLASS BOX? HYUCK? DEATH. I WANNA SEE THEM LIVE SO BAD AS WELL BUT >:( *cries in broke european*
also jaemin sending that message on bubble im crying TT he really clowned him for looking so good !!
the move indeed was harder than i expected. going back tomorrow (i come home every weekend:p) and i hate the thought already. its been...a wild ride but im going to a party on tuesday so i hope to make some friends or just to generally have some fun haha
i love you, hope life is gentle to you! be safe, stay healthy, have fun!! thanks for sending this and make sure to tell me how you are and whats new when you have time! xx
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please king send me ANY sniper headcanons
(idk why im so tired and everything feels so funny rn but iāll throw you a bone)
actually iāll edit it here
trans. (pre/no op) he wears a binder on the job but only if heās in a sufficient sniper nest but even then heāll take it off bc thats self care baby !! if he knows heās gonna be running around heās usually fine w/ his thick ass vest + baggy shirt + undershirt combo :)
he. gay =___= + mostly just. sleeps around but is a romantic at heart but also. not really. he just kinda ? minds his business and like doesnt think too hard about things that require lots of thinking
mamaās boy!!!!!!!!! but tries to emulate his papa (sunglasses B) )
hes not stupid but he prefers simplicityĀ
POOR HYGIENE he brushes his teeth sometimes and maybe brushes his hair but. he pees in jars + the sink of HQ if there are none available and listen,, that camper dont exactly have running water
he doesnt know how to start conversations at all and actually doesnt. care for talking too much (which is funny bc he hangs out w/ scout a lot,,, but ig scout does all the talking) he jumps in convos if he has a decent/funny enough point but mostly minds his business
he wears a hat for added height + actually all his wardrobe is planned for his utmost social comfort
he flusters easily + hates it, like if you like corner him in a conversation + he cant figure out what to say he just =/////= + he doesnt know how to flirt easily if u flirt w/ him heāll like stammer out something stupid or just pretend he didnt hear and like. clean his knife or something
he gets super twitchy/fidgety under pressure like above or if you annoy him, he like. flicks his bobblehead or chews on his glasses/fingernails/anything and gets tappy with his hands, heās pretty good at sitting still most of the time so these are his Tells for irritation/that heās bothered
he visits home when he can but usually its just screaming matches and he just storms out of the house and does some farm chores bc he still loves them
heās really bad at like reading/pronunciation (i mean. he can read) heās bad at spelling
he has a weird relationship w/ ms pauling like they obvs get along but they dont really talk much + she just gets uncomfy in long silences sometimes but they swap recipes and killing tips, he trust her to make calls most of the time and will just listen to her and let the others compromise it out if need be but heāll interject if he thinks its serious enough(extra info: he just calls herĀ āpaulingā unless heās being really super serious or feels a little snarky)Ā Ā
he kinda wants a dog but they cant climb into sniper nests and what if it gets hurt
heās. squirrelier than he lets off and likes to climb on things + also he has good aim with just throwing things
not to veer off canon but he knew he was adopted since he was little
heās good at falling asleep anywhere in any position + can nod off w/ a sniper in his hand (sometimes thats not the best when youre waiting for a target)
he tries to call his parents at least 3 times a week / every other day if he can manage that
he likes his sunglasses for another reason bc he can snooze a little if theyre having a meeting a nobody can really tell (okay some of them can but listen)
he loves being up high !! no matter the weather he loves it thunderstorms or heavy snow or sunny days its a blast !! and he likes to drive around w/ the windows down and the breeze in his face its :)
listen ik this is canon but the boy is Mentally Ill but brushes it off around people and hates talking about it and gets all clammed up when its brought up by like. anyone strangers or people close to him (see: meet the director/meet the sniper(w/ his dad))
he loves seeing new places but he doesnt care much for like. trudging around the wilderness like?? mucking around in swamps or something like that, heās there for the view and doesnt need the big exploration + running around that some of the others do
heās self taught at bow and arrow + picked it up when he was way younger bc he used to think it was cool + sexy now he doesnt really. give it a 2nd thought
heās actually big emo + has a big heart esp for loved ones but heās good at hiding if things hurt him outside of his initial response(idk if that makes sense, like if his dad said he hated him heād like visibly :O at first but after the shock heād be B/ and maybe just go cry in his camper hfdhsjfk)Ā
heās pretty blunt and isnt afraid to just ? point things out to people point blank and he doesnt really get?? why people get pissy
he like. snipes + all but he doesnt really believe in hunting all that much (like outside of the necessities for it, but even then he wouldnt participate)
i think heās defo the most ?? standoffish out of the group like even spy hangs out w/ scout but he just doesnt feel a need to jump into convos and doesnt consider how much you talk to someone to be equal to the value of how good of friends you are like maybe everyone feels allĀ āoh he doesnt talk much so we arent closeā but he doesnt see that he just thinksĀ āwe sit in a room together + they talk/we do crazy shit together, ergo we are closeā he does genuinely care for their well being most of the time
heās not very touchy and prefers when people keep a distance + heās just. awkward
he gets irritated easily in social situations/when talking, heās easy to talk over, he gets more annoyed w/ what people say over what they do, he hates talking to strangers, he doesnt like when people pester him about his personal life, he generally doesnt give a shit about gossip + all + doesnt nose about in other peopleās business like i said he just kinda minds his own and stays in his own lane and defo gets involved in the least amount of drama
he hangs out w/ the others but he spends most of his time on his own if he can, if he does hang out w/ them heās kinda a wall flower and just watches the rest of them + has his fun that way besides interjecting a little quip here and there (sorry i feel like im repeating myself w/ some of these)
sometimes he gets broody and moodyĀ
he talks about his job w/ really high esteem and he honestly thinks what he does is pretty great and he definitely doesnt think the others are below him but he likes to say what he does isnt mindless merc work its assassination just bc it makes him feel better about himself + its a good argument against his dad
he. hangs out w/ scout and just listens to the kid ramble about whatever + maybe nods or Mhmms along when needed but keeps his mouth shut but maybe gives Big Adult Advise thats maybe not always that great but it sounds smart, sometimes he vents to him bc scouts dumb and wont get it/remember it and his naive/dummy advise sometimes cheers him and actually helpsĀ
i can probably come up w more but this is super long and repetitive F
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You ok? I saw the wattpad thing.
Yeah I'm fine, I wrote a vent fic on there. I'll just copy/paste it here.----Virgil was angry.He was very angry.The last time he was ever this angry was when Thomas was in 5th grade. The Bullies wouldn't stop, so he fought back. His host was too much of a pacifist and got the snot kicked out of him, which didn't exactly do much for his anger.Point is, that right now he was angry.They weren't listening.They said things would be different and yet they didn't listen to him.'It's fine Virgil''Don't worry about it''You're just anxious' - no shitThey were all brushing him off, all of them, including their friends.The noise they were making was getting too loud.Too loud, too loud, too loud.He clenched his hands over his ears and grit his teeth. Trying to block it all out but he couldn't.TooloudtooloudtooloudtooloudtooloudTooloudtooloudtooloudtooloudVirgil snapped.He was very angry.-----"WOULD YOU ALL JUST SHUT UP?!"The music cut off and everyone stood frozen.Virgil had just appeared on the stairs and yelled at them all.Joan, Talyn,Ā Terrence,Ā Dominic, Deliah, Valerie, Jamahl, Thomas and the other three stared at the dark trait in shock.Virgil, realizing what he'd done, was in shock himself, he wide-eyed and shaking slightly.Everything was only made worse when one of the neighbors came barging in with a broom."What in God's good name do you think you holigans are doing? Can't you see there are people living next door? I could barely hear myself think with all your racket!"The upset neighbor then set their sights on the startled Virgil in the center."And you!", the neighbor pointed the broomstick at Virgil's chest, jabbing as they spoke, "you were the one making the most noise! Screaming and what not, you need to learn some respect and consideration for others!" And with a final jab, which caused Verge to stumble back and onto the stairs, the neighbor left with a hard turn and slam of the door.Only to pop in again seconds later, "if I hear one more peep out of you immature children I'm calling the police!"'SLAM!'-----Breaking out of their shock, Joan was about to go after the neighbor but Thomas stopped them."Don't"It was silent again for a split second before Patton spoke up."This is what you were trying to avoid, huh Verge?"All eyes turned to the emo sitting on the stairs rubbing his chest.He nodded solemnly.Anxiety had tucked himself into the smallest sitting position he could manage.He wasn't angry anymore, just numb.-----"Are you ok Virgil?" Anxiety looked up at his host, before dropping his head down and shrugging.Logan stepped up and placed a hand on Virgil's knee. "I'd like to apologize for having not listening to you before-"He was cut off by the others chiming in and also apologizing.He gave them a small anxious smile, "it's ok guys, sorry I ruined your party-""No Virgil, you didn't ruin anything!""Nah, dude its fine""Yeah man, it's all good""It's ok really!"With everyone reassuring him and talking at once it made him feel better and worse at the same time. The youngest trait found himself pulling up his hood and shrinking in on himself more-"Hey, thought this would help calm you down"He looked up too see who it was, only to find Roman with two cups of ice in his hands.The Prince handed one to him and sat beside the emo, chewing some cubes from his own cup.Virgil couldn't help but chuckle, grabbing a few ice cubes himself and chewing them.Logan looked at the two and sighed exasperatedly, "it's bad for your teeth-"He was cut off by Talyn who dragged him off with the other, in their hand they held their own cup of ice, shouting, "long live the cronch!"This prompted the two on the stairs to laugh.Soon enough Valerie and Dominic asked Roman to dance with them."Uh Verge?""Go Princey, but I'm eating the rest of your ice""Sure thing"-----The music blasted and everyone started to dance until the music was cut off."We don't want the neighbor to come in again""Oh, shoot, Thomas is right", mumbled Deliah crossing her arms with a frown."Ok", maybe we don't need techno, how bout we go acoustic?" Offered Jamahl raising his guitar.The others smiled and cheered lightly as the musician began to strum.Virgil quietlyĀ looked on from the stairs.He was angry, but he was feeling better now.-----AN:// is currently chewing ice rn, like I need to chill.Tag list: @randomslasher @trashsinsunrelenting @thuriweaver @pretty-mr-sanders @anxietyandlogic @pantasticpanini @tinysidestrashcaptain @cefmua56 @princeyandanxiety @the-prince-and-the-emo @sanspie122 @slightly-functioningsociopath @justanotherpurplebutterfly
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