#sorry for the random tag no pressure if you don't feel like doing silly tag games lol

[kidotomy]

9 people you'd like to know better

tagged by @nerdkiller [ty <3]

Last Song: Rule #27 - Drunk on Pride [Weapons that are used / Are buried away / Flags that were torn / Get lost in a page / Barely any scars / Left from the good old days] I like listening to Fish In A Birdcage. Thumbs up.

Currently Watching: nothing, I'm bad at watching stuff unless someone hold my hand.

Currently Reading: I juggle books but today I've been continuing The Joy of Living by Yongey Mingyur Rinpoche. It's essentially Tibetan Buddhism meets modern science. I've also been reading Libraries in the Ancient World by Lionel Casson. Libraries 🖤

Current Obsession: Being Alive 🖤 and seeing Trees And Lakes. And, also Honkai Star Rail.

tag ?! @ninjagame @vhscrow @relares @gojoexmachina @fortune-slip @enigmaticgale @rat-prophetess @darkmagiciangirl @roseofnohr

[lovifie]

A little update for everybody for my current and future updates 🩷: (please read it ❤️)

Her Royal Highness: Hiatus. Trust me, I am the saddest about it. It is the first thing I wrote and what made me want to start the blog, but I have kind of lost the vision I had for it and I can't write anything without hating it. Don't worry too much about it because I am really dramatic and might just keep it going on a month 🩷.

Lift me off my feet: Around 4 chapters left. It would make it a 13 chapter series, taking in consideration I started because of a fanart I'm quite impressed with. Still, the little plot that it has is starting to run out and I feel like it is just unnecessarily stretching it, especially since there are other series I want to work on and I can't until this one is finished. I wanted to ask, would you rather have me finish this one “fast” or alternate it with other posts? Fast would be as in focusing on writing only this fic until I finished, and I believe I could have it done next week most likely.

Switch Bodies: Plot wise, around 2 chapters. After that, it would just be random scenarios that I would think of or that you could want me to write. Still, this one doesn't really have a schedule as it is mostly jokes so I can't tell when I'll update.

Spidey: This one will have a slower than usual post schedule since it is going to be interactive and I'll need to leave time between chapters to let everyone vote their favorites. So I'll be a bit more relaxed rhythm of updates.

Poll Fic: Whichever wins the poll (I can't see the results until Monday unless I vote and I'm edging myself like a moron), I won't probably write anything until I finish Lift Me Off My Feet, plus I want to organize a bit the plot so the thing that happens with Her Royal Highness doesn't happens again and I have something to support myself on to finish it. So I'll be a bit of time still.

Those are the series, I'm also working on oneshots and just silly stuff that genuinely I'll post randomly.

Aswell, I wanted to let people know that the on taglist form I removed the option to choose on which fic to me tagged because I was getting everyone mixed and it was becoming too chaotic so now there will be one single taglist. I hope you guys don't mind too much and thank you for understanding. If you would prefer me to remove you from it you can also tell me on the taglist form without a problem. 🩷🩷

There are going to be a couple of days without updates because I'm going to work on tidying everything up a bit so it is easier to navigate the blog. And I'm also going to slow down a bit as well, because I don't understand why I have pressured myself into uploading as soon as possible to the point I'm burning myself out instead of enjoying writing like I should.

That being said, I'm done rambling and complaining. I'd love any kind of feedback, as comments, asks or DM, I always love to read you guys opinion and ideas so feel free to do so ❤️❤️

Sorry for the disappointment of this not being an update let me know what you would rather have happening on the Lift me off my feet fic 🩷

Back to Masterlist - Taglist Form

TagList (1): @1-800-choke-that-ho @1234ilikecowsthanyoumore @anirok2 @arbesa-mind @avaleigh16 @blckbrrybasket @bunnysdaydreams @cassiecasluciluce @cheomain @cmbghost @cod-z @coldpaperwonderland @contractedcriteria @cringeycookies @crinoid90 @darkangel4121 @dilara-del @dontworryboutitokie @dukeofjjune @dumb12bvtch1212 @dumybitch @emotion-no-hot-yes-hotel-trivago @evolutionarry @fraserbraw @ghostlythots @ghosts-hoe @glocuseguardian3rd @grenkiesworld @h0n3y-l3m0n05 @hatterripper31 @herefor-tojis-tits @howlove @itsberrydreemurstuff @jaguarthecat @jupiternighties @justyourfriendlyneighbourhood1 @kayden666 @keiraslayz @keiva1000 @kristalhi @l0velifehatey0u @ladyxtiger @lilliumrorum @lolliepopsicle @lolly145 @lotionlamp @lunamoonbby @lunari0 @marymustdie @missmidnight-writes

[bearratic]

Get to know the mun ! repost, don’t reblog.

——— BASICS.

NICK[NAME] : Benjamin. [Benji/Bear.]

PRONOUNS : He/Him.

ZODIAC SIGN : Aquarius - Feb 7th.

TAKEN OR SINGLE : Single.

ANYTHING ELSE? : Real fuckn dutch. Made of stroopwafels.

——— THREE SERIOUS FACTS.

Writing gives me the time and space to gather my thoughts. I use it as a practice in conveying emotion, which makes it easier to do so and thoroughly explain reasoning. I use writing as a base for learning human psyche, soul, mind and spirit which interests me deeply. I try digging deeper into feelings and actions - reasons why some are done and linking them together.

I pick muses based on some hint of personality trait I see of myself in them. I find myself often asking what I want so having muses that at least correlate to my thoughts are a better fit for me than just a choice at random. It can be big as the way they think or it can be as small as sharing a favorite drink. Exploring their interests based on their world and adding on to it makes it way more enjoyable for me to write, story and world building is important to me.

I fucking love everyone I have ever written and will ever write with. This has been nothing but a warm and loving experience for me.

——— THREE RANDOM FACTS.

My nickname is thanks to my father, who even though he named me one thing, found it often too long and switched it to another lol.

I go to at least 3 concerts every month. Mostly rock in genre if I get to chose but I never say no when friends ask. I will always be your +1 to any event.

If I had to pick a country to move to it would be Scotland, sorry but I have a light obsession with that place.

——— EXPERIENCE.

Zero dude. Literally none. I just picked it up as a hobby and passed my blogs one year birthday last august. I have been truly active in the writing community for only half a year in total.

I go with the flow, I enjoy coming up with things on the spot. Diseccting my muses and throwing them into any type of situation just to write myself out of it. Or-... make it worse for them. Keep it interesting you know?

I write through and together with music, I let it guide me often. This is kind of the reason I am a slow replier, I have to really feel what I want to put down and then I can stick to it. Besides that, English is not my first language so I have to switch back and forth in my brain real often. It can be a bit tiring but I gladly do it for my writing partners. Much love.

——— MUSE PREFERENCE.

Give me anything with a background we can explore and me and my muses are in. I thoroughly enjoy talking to you about your muses and mine, from their favorite pairs of socks to their family drama, idc I want to know.

I need a lot of building together, plotting and anything to truly write my muse closer to yours if you want anything deeper. I build through writing together. From something silly to movie scripts. Let them get to know each other to their deepest point.

——— FLUFF / ANGST / SMUT.

FLUFF : Yeah definitely, I’m a sappy dude. I like to daydream.

ANGST : Also yeah! I enjoy making problems for my muses, it makes me understand them more. Dread is and can be intense so be sure to be in the right headspace and let me know.

SMUT : Sure, though with my lack of writing experience bear with me on this one. I really have to know how you write and your muse for this to work, I do not wish to overstep boundaries either yours, your muses or my own. Which I am unable to know if we do not at least have a talk about it.

——— PLOT / MEMES : Thanks to you I know how much I enjoy plotting. I know I'm rather slow with DM replies but please don't take it personally I am just truly busy and can only do one thing atta time. Memes! Starters! Send me them all day everyday, I might not get to them immediately but I will and I will love it.

TAGGED BY : @sanctissimx I adore. Thank Yououou.

TAGGING : Cool ppl but no pressure. @cherriedrage @penandswords @patronsxints @carminewill @heterochromatica @ofcursedenergy @modeinthemiddle @huntershowl & You.

[suspicious-andou]

heyy this is very nice!! can you write shingen + mc riding him because he is feeling a bit sick??have a nice night!!!!!

Hiya Anon, sure you can!!! I haven't read his route and i had a bit of writers block 🥺 i hope its adequate enough to suit your tastes 💖

Over a Massage?

Rating: Explicit 🔞

Pair: Shingen Takeda x MC

Tags: massage, cowgirl, creampie, cunningulus, blow job, slight shingen route spoiler

Summary: Shingen isn't feeling well, which then MC offers to give him a massage, but it all took a spicy turn..

Shingen wasn't the type to get random fevers. His immune system had always been quite strong despite having chest problems, but there he was, tucked into his futon with MC by his side.

"That should cool you off a bit.." MC said as she placed a cold and damp towel on top of his flushed forehead, wiping off a bead sweat off his face with her thumb

"It must be lucky day since you have been pampering me all day princess" shingen said as he let out a delighted laugh, clasping his hand onto MC's hand that had placed the damp towel moments ago.

She made eye contact with him, tenderly intertwining their fingers

"Who wouldn't?" She paused "It's only natural for me to do so as your lover" she said, lips curving upwards

MC placed her other hand on his cheek, then on his neck, making sure that his fever was under control.

"Your fever doesn't seem to bad, so hopefully you will be alright in a few days" she added, earning a chucke from shingen

"Hah! Im already perfectly fine just by having you here, i could even conquer the whole world-" he boasted, attempting to sit up, which was immidiately interupted as soon as he felt the strain in his back muscles.

"Don't you dare sit up!" She protessed, pushing him back down

"Sorry, sorry, im alright" shingen paused as he positioned himself comfortably "though my muscles are acting up more than i anticipated." He said, as he let out a big sigh.

"Mm..." MC hummed, wondering if she had anything on top her head that could help him.

After a moment of silence, she recall being given some essential oil by Sasuke a while back

"Ah, i know what to do!" MC announced, earning shingen's attention.

She hurried over to the table to find her bag, which then she rummaged through the contents, pulling out a vial.

"I've got some oil that's apparently good for massages" MC said as she sat back down by his side, presenting the vial to him

He carefully took the vial out of her hands, examining the content

"Hmm.. interesting"

"Well, im not going to say no to an exclusive massage from my princess" He said enthustiastically, handing the vial back to her

.

.

Shingen was now laying on his stomach, his kimono down where his hakama was. She sat against his lower body, carefull to not cause any strain on the wrong spots

"Tell me if anything hurts okay?" MC said as she opened the vial, earning a hum of aproval

She poured some oil onto his broad back, smearing it around with her palms. She noticed how the hair on his back stood up the moment her palms made contact with his skin, but thought no more of it.

Shingen's back was fairly sensitive and his fever had elevated that sensitivity. Something as innocent as this was enough to be considered provocative.

She started pushing her fingers against the stiff muscles at different strength, depending on the pressure needed, earning a handfull of satisfied grunts from him.

'Fuck' shingen cursed internally, as he could feel his member start twitching

Every movement her hands did went straight down to his member. He bit his lower lip in anticipation as he felt her hands work on his lower back.

He wanted to feel her around him so badly and honestly, he felt a little silly for getting this worked up over a massage. He was even grunting much more than he'd like to

"Gosh, you are quite vocal." Mc commented "Is my massaging skills that good?"

"Well mmh.. of course.." he answered, "Can i turn around? Something else needs attention..." he said, obviously having other intentions in mind

"Hm? If that's what you want" she said, stopping her movements

she stood up, straddling shingen's torso in between her legs, allowing room for him to turn around. She plopped down back softly onto his lower body. She wiggled herself comfortably in place, eyebrows cocking as she felt something out of place

"Give me a second, something feels hard-"

That's when it sunk in

It should have clicked in when she noticed him being quite vocal. She should have realized that it was merely a sneaky excuse from him.

She made eye contact with him, pretending to look shocked, but there he was, smirking, desire in his grey orbs.

"Really? Over a massage?" She questioned as she giggled, which then shingen slid one of his hands under her kimono, giving her thigh a soft yet needy squeeze.

"Anything you do is enough to send me over the edge and you know that princess.." He said with a husky voice

"Mmm.." she hummed

Seeing him this worked up was enough to cause her to tingle with desire

"You wouldn't mind would you? He questioned suggestively.

"Nope.. Not in the slightest" she said "tell me.. how csn i make you feel better shingen-sama..?" she said as she grinded herself gently against his clothed bulge earning a grunt from him, then he moved his hand onto her butt, giving it a squeeze

“Turn around, pussy on my face.” He commanded “While i do so, make sure you have my cock in your mouth.” He added.

MC gladly complied, though no matter how many times they did it, she always had found this position quite embarrassing. She sheepishly lifted her kimono for her to turn around. Shingen knew how embarrased this position usually made her, which is why he used both strong arms to pull her rear towards his face, causing her to yelp.

He shifted the material of her kimono along with her underwear, revealing her damp core puckering with her juices.

“T-this is embarrassing.. ” She protessed as her hands fumbled throigh his clothing, pulling out his throbbing cock out of his hakama. His member was leaking out precum, and it twitched with excitement as soon as her hands made contact with it

Shingen scoffed

“Heh! You won’t be saying that as soon as i start eating you-nnn..” shingen attempted to say but was silenced as soon as soon as she abrubtly took his whole length down her throat.

“..i was only joking” shingen said as he exhaled, enjoying the sensation.

He began working on her pussy by giving her clit a lick, before wrapping his lips around the bundle of nerves. After hearing her moaning on his cock, he plunged a finger before adding an additional finger into her tight hole, scissoring them, ensuring that it was hitting her favorite spots.

“Ah.. right there” she moaned out blissfully, taking his length out of her throat. She proceeded to give his tip a handful of licks, working her hands on the base of his length.

Shingen closed his eyes for a brief moment feeling the sweet sensation of her tongue on his throbbing member. Because of how sensitive he was due to the fever, he realised that he wouldn’t last any longer if she continued. Giving her core one last lick he signalled MC to move

“That’s good enough.” He stated “Now turn around dear” he instructed

MC turned around as instructed, now sitting near his crotch, throbbing length brushing against her wet core.

“what do you want me to do..?” She questioned with anticipation, grinding her bare core against him

“Now then..” he trailed off , placing his hands on her hips “you won’t mind taking me in one go, would ya? Hm?” Shingen asked, which sounded more like a command.

“mm.. i don't know” She teased, rubbing herself up and down his impatient length, denying entrance whenever his tip came in contact with her entrance

"Do i mind- nghh!!?" She attempted to speak, but was interuppted when shingen used both hands to push her down onto his cock in one go.

"Haah.. shit" he cursed feeling her warmth around his cock

"No princess, the answer is you do not mind." shingen stated, which was very much true

"Obviously..ngh.." she retorted in between moans

The way his thick length slid in into her in one go was enough to almost send her over the edge. His member felt hotter than usual, and it was stretching her in the best way possible, hitting her sensitive spots.

She bounced herself slowly to begin with, feeling his calloused hands grip stronger onto her hips, a string of moans and grunts spilling out of their lips

She was going slow on purpose, savoring his the way his cock glided in and out of her, his tip kissing her cervix whenever she took him down to the base. She was also trying her best to not lose control with the speed as she is fully aware of shingen's condition.

"Mmh.. you know you can go much rougher on me" shingen said in between grunts "unless you want me to flip you over and.. ngh.. fuck you into the futon?"

"I can't ngh.. you're unwell" she moaned out

"Two options princess” The man said as he purposely thrusted up causing her to choke out a moan

“Either you ride me or i’ll flip you over and pound you.”

MC looked at him with lust filled eyes as if challenging his statement

"Oh?"

She bounced herself faster than before. Shingen’s eyes widen slightly, not expecting her to assert her dominance. He was quite impressed.

“Don’t complain after” she moaned out

Every time her core met the base of his member, she could feel the pleasure jolt through her body from head to toe. She had set a fast and rough pace which made her kimono slip off her shoulders, her breasts spilling out of her clothing. She could hear his breath hitch at the sight, his cock jolting with excitement.

To spice this all up he used one of his thumbs to rub against her clit that's been begging for attention for the past few minutes

Shingen closed his eyes, letting the pleasure take over him. Her insides wrapped around his length perfectly, not letting him go for a moment.

Her pace was starting to get sloppy which he took as an indicator to take some control, gripping her hips with his strong hands, bouncing her up and down his length. He knew she was close and he himself was not far off. To top it all up, he bucked his hips up roughly, his tip hitting her sensitive spots sending her over the edge

"So rough..!" She breathed out as she came undone with his cock roughly pounding into her.

Just like that, her core clamped tightly onto his member, milking every drop of cum he had to offer. He thrusted into her roughly making sure to stuff every drop into her womb until he came down from his high.

.

.

Long story short, his fever did get better but he can't say the same about his muscles, and everyone kept making comments about how he looks like an old man when he kept crutching his hand against his back

[le-velo-pour-dru]

♧ :D

Wahoo, let's do this! >:3

You’re my: mutual who likes iDKHOW and posts a lot about Stranger Things, and who I don't know too well but would be happy to get to know better :3

How I met you: I don't really remember! I know it had to do with iDKHOW though. Either you interacted with one of my posts, or I saw a post of yours in the iDKHOW tag, it was one of those two things. Sorry I don't remember which one though ;w;

Why I follow you: Cause you're an iDKHOW fan, and cause you seem like a fun nice person in general ^^

Your blog is: pretty Stranger Things-focused, from what I can tell, and while I can't say I'm familiar with that fandom, I'm glad you enjoy it :D 💖

Your URL is: very silly X3

Your icon is: a purple worm!!!!!!! :DDD Worms on strings are so fun, I actually have a pair of earrings that are purple worms on strings, they're amazing X3 💜

A random fact I know about you: Your icon from when I first found you was Tuxedo Sam :3 💙

General opinion: Overall, I don't know you very well yet, and I can't relate to your main fandom, but all my interactions with you have been great so far and I'd be happy to get to know you better! 😊🩷

A random thought I have: Feel free to send me asks or DMs whenever, if you want :3 Answering this just made me realize how little I know about you, and I'd be happy to change that if you want ^^ No pressure though, of course

[kiwibubbles5]

I hope you don't mind if a Socially Anxious Individual expands some on #3?? :)

Booping is awesome. And all of Tumblr's other interaction buttons range from a little bit to a LOT scarier..

My social anxiety is loads better online vs in person, but it's still there. The prospect of getting to know someone new is still terrifying. (Fair warning, I'm very aware that everything I'm about to discuss worrying about is unrealistic and unreasonable. ✨a n x i e t y✨)

The comment button is scary - I don't know what to say, what if I look stupid or sound mean?

The reblog button is extra scary. I don't like to rb stuff without proper tags for my organization system, and on low energy days, proper tagging can take a lot more effort than you'd think. I also don't want to make anyone feel bad if I rb their post without any comments/compliments/etc in the tags, because what if they come to my blog and see other posts that I have commented on in the tags, and they get sad because they think I didn't deem their art or writing or whatever it is worthy of saying anything about. But, again, figuring out what to say can be really hard and scary.

The like button is scary - likes don't spread the post around or boost it or really do anything, so I really really don't want to press 'like' on anything without reblogging it. So many posts highly encourage reblogging over liking stuff, and for good reason!

But y'all. I have over three hundred and fifty drafts saved right now. Because when I see a post I enjoy - art, writing, even just a relatable or funny thing - if I don't have the energy or time to fight back the social anxiety and reblog it, I save it to tag and post later. I don't leave a like, I don't know how long it'll be till I can get back to posting the reblog. I wanna be a little more social. I want so badly to show people appreciation and give them a lil happiness. But I'm so introverted and anxious.

Boops were a way to connect with somebody without any of the above fears. April 1st was the most active/social I have been on here since... (checks notes) A LONG ASS TIME alright, idk.

A boop says so many things without having to piece together the words to say them. A boop says, "Hi." It says, "We are sharing in this silly little thing together, and that is beautiful." It says "I see you," and "You're a part of this community," and "I care enough about you, random stranger, to send you a cute lil boop or two. To join you in the spirit of something fun." It says "You showed up on my dash! 😄" or "I know that you follow me I appreciate you!" or "Hi moot ily!"

But a boop also feels safe. There's nothing I can phrase wrong or fuck up about a boop. (I mean, I suppose besides spamming someone with too many boops who doesn't want that, but I tried to be super careful to not do that at all, just looked for the posts welcoming spam boops. Oh and I also only sent evil boops to people I knew a bit better, just in case. Okay so clearly even this was not entirely worry-free but it was SO MUCH LESS SCARY.) It just felt so much easier to navigate than all the other, more complex socializing options. Boop. 🐾 Boop back. 🐾 It made me happy to give boops, it made me happy to get return ones. It was. Really fun. (And, to anyone who didn't have a good booping experience - maybe you didn't get lots of boops or return boops - I'm really sorry, I promise I would have booped you if I could. You matter to this community, too 💖🐾💖boop)

The other thing I liked about boops was that they don't necessarily invite nor require any response outside of booping. (And there even comes a point when a booping chain needs to end, so it doesn't feel super anxious to not boop back every single received boop.) A boop could lead to further interaction of some kind, and that's great!! But it doesn't create an automatic expectation of further interaction. I didn't feel pressured to follow people or connect more, or to have a conversation through comments or reblogs/tags - all stuff that I often don't have energy for.

(Fair warning again, no, this level of social anxiety is not healthy, I am trying to work on it guys listen 😅 The boop system certainly isn't a replacement for all the other, deeper ways to connect on Tumblr and I want to get to a point where I'm not so scared someday. But the booping system is really good for low energy days and/or high anxiety levels.)

So, yeah. I can't speak for anyone but myself, but this is why I personally loved the boop buttons and would love for booping to become a permanent function.

((P.S. Oh, I suppose I forgot to mention the ask button. Yeah the ask button is more intimidating and terrifying than any monstrous eldritch entity I could ever come across 😅))

petition for tumblr to make the boop feature permanent. reasons:-

so i can shower my affection on mooties and followers without any limits

validates my sense of appreciation and does not make me feel unwanted

every introverts' dream who loves a blog but is scared to talk with them

feels like an actual physical boop

online love language

[comingyourlugubriousness]

Thanks for the tag @tunabesimpin <3 Sorry this took so long >.<

😍 What's the most attractive personality trait a partner can have to them?

Physically Yume thinks long hair is attractive!

Emotionally I think a must-have with Yume is someone with a sense of humor! If they can't joke and have fun and be themselves with them then whats the point.

🤣 What makes them crack up?

Stupid inside jokes between friends, memes, and occasionally slapstick humour. What makes Yume laugh is all over the place honestly, their sense of humour is fucking broken. (They also have a tendency to lean into dark/gallows humour. To cope)

😡 What's one surefire way to make them angry?

Off the top of my head, People being racist/sexists/assholes in general. Seeing people take advantage of someone less fortunate than them. Insulting their loved ones in a non-joking manner. They really can't stand random people touching them without permission/warning first. (with very few exceptions)

😄 When are they at their happiest?

When they are with the people they care about and can truly be themselves. And they feel that being themself is someone worth wild!

😭 What makes them sad?

Loneliness. Not having any money. Feeling like they don't belong. Feeling unwanted. Their friends being hurt and feeling like they can't help them.

💋 What are kisses with them like?

Depends! On who you are and how they feel!

Friend gets soft kisses, usually forehead or if your are really close cheek!

More romantic stuff well... (ง ื▿ ื)ว (they don't kiss and tell)

👻 What scares them?

Spiders, loud sudden noises, feeling helpless. Their visions of the future ,the fear that one day they'll wake up and done nothing worthwhile with their life, the idea that they are unlovable

❤️‍🔥 What sets their heart aflame?

Blue haired Gamer boys. next question. ∠( ᐛ 」∠)_

🧠 What type of intelligence do they excel at? (Booksmarts, emotional intelligence, etc.) Definitely booksmarts, emotional , interpersonal, intrapersonal, and existential!

🎂 How do they usually celebrate their birthday?

Yume doesn't really remember much but they knew it was usually just the classic cake and happy birthday. Sometimes they feel a little silly going over the top for it.

👗 What's their fashion sense?

Comfy and oversized with a cute flair!

❄️ How do they handle the cold? Yume is actually pretty good in the cold and they definitely prefer it to heat! Which they will die in lol.

No pressure tags:

@bunnwich,@oseathepebble,@atwstedstory,@the-trinket-witch,@the27th,@forgwater,@honeyuuyuu,@cherryjkj,@mimitwst

[xxisxxisxxis]

Gateway Drug | Part Ninety-Four [PT.2]

Words: 2k

Warning(s): explicit language

Tag List: @unknownoblivion  @edwardtriggerhandzz  @haileynicoleseavey17  @cierrasixx19  @oskea93  @mgkobsessed  @sharon6713  @itsametaphorbriansblog  @miriampraez  @allie-mcginn @xpoisonousrosesx  @rebeccaphillips14  @nicholeh7 @lilmou5ie  @emariehorror  @divaanya  @6ixx6ixx  @ratedrkohardychick91  @floregrohlssard  @oldschoolimagineblog  @abaldboi  @liith-ium  @jd-johndeacon-or-jackdaniels  @ytwahsog  @scarecrowmax  @random-internet-user-4471  @solohqrry  @sparxx27  @kaitieskidmore1  @cruecifymesixx    @meetthesixxter    @arianareirg  @gingerspicetalks

@fancywasmyname1  @teller258316  @ggorehorror  @blowinmeupwithherlove  @xrosegoldwolfx  @mylifeisjustafeverdream  @redlipscrystalskies14 @str4nge-haze @reigns420 @sixxseconds2love @leatherandheels @dogmom2014 @allyouneedislove-mp3 @n0-self-c0ntro1 @viinceneil

LET ME KNOW IF YOU WANT TO BE TAGGED

VIVIAN

"Who was that?" Mandy asks me as I hang up the phone after talking to Nikki.

"Nikki." I reply, helping her get the straps on her dress adjusted. 

She doesn't look like a conventional bride in her satin black dress that reaches just below her thighs. 

"Looks pretty." I tell her. 

"Thanks." She replies. 

I think for a moment before clearing my throat. 

"Are you nervous at all?" I ask her and she looks at me. 

"No? Should I be?" 

"I mean, it's just a big step, you know?"

"Not any bigger than already living together. It's not gonna change much." She says. "It's just a silly piece of paper to me." She admits. "I'm doing this for him, he's always wanted to get married--don't get me wrong, I have, too--but it's never been on my absolutely priority list like it's on his." She explains. 

"If it's just a silly piece of paper, why does it take so long to get it annulled, or divorce finalized?" I ask her and she furrows her brows. 

"There's a lot that goes into marriage, Mandy, and it does change things to an extent. But it's a good change." I assure her. 

"No offense, Vivian, but shouldn't you be worried about your own marriage before you worry about mine?" She asks me, a little aggravated. 

I get aggravated right back. 

"I didn't mean anything by it, Amanda. I just think you shouldn't marry him because he wants marriage more than you do and you want to make him happy. You marry him because you love him and you want to do it without the pressure of living up to a standard he subconsciously has placed on you. I'm just trying to look out for both of you because I'm his friend and I'm--"

"--Trust me, I'm well aware." She cuts me short. 

"Then act like it and don't talk to me like that in my own fucking house." I snap. 

She just stares at me and I stare at her. 

"You know what? I need to get going. I've gotta run to town. Thanks for your help." She says flatly, getting the dress back off and pulling her clothes on.

When she gets to the door she stops and turns to me. 

"I get it. You're carrying his kid and I'm the woman he proposed to when you wouldn't stay with him. I wasn't trying to be a bitch. I'm just trying to fucking adjust to this shit, because it's hard on me, Vivian. This whole clusterfuck is really fucking hard on me." 

"Like it's easy for me?" I ask her, scoffing. 

"I have to know I'm second to him, Vivian. Do you know how much that fucking hurts? And he swears up and down I'm first, I'm a priority, but I know I'm not. I know if both of us was fucking dying and he could only save one, he'd choose you." 

"Well, like you said, I'm the one pregnant with his kid, so…" I blurt it without a thought and immediately regret it. 

She just looks hurt--betrayed even--and slams the door shut on her way out before she gets to her car and squeals out of the driveway. 

"Shit." I say to myself. "Vivian, you shouldn't have fucking said that...what have you done?" 

I figured Duff would call shortly after and scold me. Little did I know the phone call would be skipped altogether.

"What the hell, Vivian?!" Duff says, slamming my door shut and I jump a little, looking at him as he comes to me in the living room. 

"I didn't mean to say what I said." I tell him. 

"Didn't mean to say it?! You basically told her you were more important because you're knocked up with my baby!"

"Am I not?" I ask him, raising my brows. 

"That doesn't mean you're more important to me, Vivian. That doesn't mean Mandy's second place right now. You're both important to me in different ways!"

"Oh, so if I told you Nikki and I were done and I wanted to be with you, you wouldn't leave her within a matter of days and be with me?" 

"Not with you acting like this." He declares. 

"Like what?"

"Like fucking--" He stops talking before he says something he'll regret, before huffing out a breath of air… "You're jealous, and I get that, but you're not treating Mandy like shit just because you think you have the upper hand, right now." 

"I didn't treat her like shit, I just said--" 

"--I know what you said. She told me what you said. I love you, but I'm not doing the petty cat-fight drama so cut it out." He states sternly. "And if you wanna play the, 'I'm carrying his baby' card, that's fine. Be the woman I just got pregnant. But she'll always be the one I married."

"She's also the one hammering screwdrivers with you at brunch, I've heard." I tell him, crossing my arms, trying not to be hurt by his words. 

"Whatever makes you feel a million miles taller than everybody else, Viv." He gives up, heading to the door before turning to look at me. "You're taking your medication like you're supposed to, right?" 

"Go fuck yourself." I snap. 

"That's what I thought." He says sharply. 

"You can leave now." I say, defensively. 

I thought that was that...thought.

"I just missed a dose or two, Nikki, honestly." I tell him the next morning, not necessarily telling the truth but also not lying completely. 

"Vivian, we're not doing this shit where you don't take your medication, again." He tells me. 

"I'm not doing it, Nikki." 

"And I've heard some shit about fucking lithium and you don't need to just miss any doses if you can help it. It can fuck your body up and if it can do that to you it sure as shit can hurt the baby." 

"Nikki, I didn't miss any doses on purpose, I just forgot." 

"Right, like you forgot to take your Nardil for three months in a row at times." 

"Can you hop off, Nikki, I mean, seriously. I'm trying here." 

"I'm not trying to get on to you, Viv, I just want you to take this serious."

"I do." I insist. 

"Then why is Duff telling me you went off on Mandy and him?" 

"Oh, he told you that, too? Along with my lack of taking my medicine on time?" 

"He's worried, Vivian."

"He should be. He's fucking his life up by marrying her." 

"Vivian." He snaps and I look at him, sighing. 

"We broke up. And within a few weeks, he's engaged to her, Nikki. They're getting married in two months, did you know that? Who the hell gets married five months after they have a breakup from someone they were in love with? Not to mention his drinking." 

"So what if the guy had a few screwdrivers at breakfast or whatever? I've seen Sharise throw back mimosas at ten in the morning before." 

"Champagne and orange juice is a lot different than straight vodka and orange juice, Nikki." I state. 

"Alcohol is alcohol." He reminds me. "And besides, he's probably drinking because he's under a lot of pressure with the band right now, and you're catching a lot of shit right now, and he's got a lot on his mind." He adds. 

"I do, too, but I'm not rushing into a marriage to try to convince myself I'm making the right decision." I mumble. 

"Nah, I think you and I both did enough of that five years ago." He replies and I realize what I said, and look at him pointedly. 

"I didn't mean it like that."

"I didn't say you did. I just think maybe you're taking something out on him because you don't want him to me the same mistake we did." He suggests. 

"Oh, so you're the therapist now or something?" 

He just stares at me with a little smirk, his eyes searching mine. 

"I'm gonna blame the exponential amount of bitchiness on the pregnancy." Is all he says before trying to get up.

"Okay, I'm sorry, I'm sorry." I say, reaching out and grabbing his wrist, and he looks at me and sits back down. "I'm sorry, Nikki, alright?" 

"There's a reason I wanted to talk to you, I didn't just bring you down here so you could start a fight." He raises his brows. "I wanted to talk to you about something important." 

I tuck a strand of hair behind my ear and he rubs his face. "Look, about the whole sex thing…" 

My face burns with embarrassment and I let out a breath. 

"I don't wanna talk about it, Nikki. Let's just forget it happened." I tell him. 

"No, don't do that, Viv, it's not anything to be--"

"--I cried and whined over not getting dick. Yes, it is something to be embarrassed about. So let's just not even acknowledge it happened." 

"You were crying and whining because I, your husband, wouldn't be intimate with you. It has nothing to do with sex itself, but the feeling that comes with it--at least that's what Amber told me." He tells me. 

I just smile at the fact he's actually paying attention to his therapist instead of blowing off her intel. 

"I guess you're right." I reply. 

"And I'm sorry for that…it's not like I just found out about the baby. I've known it since you told me. I agreed to work this out with you, you know? So I shouldn't have thrown it in your face that I'm not attracted to you because of the baby thing."

"Well...are you not attracted to me?" 

"The first session we had I was trying to get you on Amber's desk, Viv." He reminds me, chuckling. 

"That was before you knew I was pregnant, Nikki." 

"...It was?" 

"I think it was." 

"...oh…" 

"Look, I'm just as attracted to you now as I was when we first met." He assures me. 

"You hated me when we first met."

"Doesn't mean I didn't wanna get you under me." He shrugs. 

"Oh, whatever." I roll my eyes and he grins. 

"My point is that I'm sorry for making you feel like something's wrong with you or you're undesirable or something. The truth is, Amber suggested that we wait on having sex for a while until we're mentally stable enough to separate sex and intimacy from problem solving and apologies." 

"...And you agree with her?" I raise a brow, not believing my ears. 

Since when the hell does Nikki Sixx take marriage advice from anybody? 

"Yeah, I guess I do." He shrugs.

I just scoff.

"Viv, you said it yourself multiple times the past few years that sex doesn't solve anything." 

"I meant using sex as a means to brush things under the rug. Not just happy-go-lucky-'we aren't just doing this to keep our marriage from falling apart'-sex." 

"Was there a difference in the two by 1986?" He raises his brows and I'm about to argue some more, but he has a point.

"I'm trying, Viv. You know I am. I haven't tried barely at all, and you know that, too, so please, let's just see if this works." He pleads. 

"So, what, we're just not gonna do anything until we get our crap together?" 

"That's a good way to put it, yeah." He nods. 

Despite it being an inconvenience, it'd be well worth it. Maybe if we aren't so focused on getting each other's bones jumped, it'll give us time to actually grow up, some. 

"Okay, Nikki." I agree and he looks relieved.

I made a very deliberate point to stop by Amber's office on the way out.

[bookdragonwrites]

Thanks for the tag, @lanirawhoney! (Where's yours? >.>)

Named after anyone?

Nope. My parents discussed naming their kids after family members but were stumped at the sheer horrificness of most of their names, so that went nowhere, thank goodness. I no longer use my birth name, but I did always appreciate being named after myself.

2. Last time I cried?

I don't remember. Probably while watching something, that's when I do 90% of my crying. The last time I teared up was while I was working on a Very Sad Scene in a new fic the other day.

3. Kids?

That would be a terrible idea. No.

4. Sports I play/have played?

I rode dressage from age 9 until 20. I was bad at it, but I loved it and it taught me important life skills.

I can't play sports at the moment, but if it ever became an option again, I'd like to go back to horsey pursuits if I can afford it, or else maybe archery. In an ideal world I'd give volleyball a go (damn you, Haikyuu, you make it look such fun), but sadly my depth perception is too screwy for that. Also I can't jump for shit. :(

5. Do I use sarcasm?

Not like it's my favourite way to make jokes or anything.

6. First thing I notice about people?

'Would you look at that, a person.' (In all seriousness, I don't know. Just... their appearance? Clothing style? *shrug*)

7. Eye colour?

Blue.

8. Scary movies or happy endings?

Happy endings. I have mixed feelings about sad ones, though a well-crafted open ending can be amazing.

9. Any talents?

Reciting random facts of questionable relevance to the conversation. (Did you know dugongs are far more closely related to elephants than they are to whales?)

Does 'being weird in an amusing and/or endearing way' count as a talent? Because then I have two whole talents.

10. Where was I born?

Mainland Europe. I'm going to be vague about this one, sorry.

11. Hobbies?

You'd better sit down for this one.

Crochet, studying Japanese, reading (general fiction and manga (in Japanese, because I refuse to pay through the nose for translations I'd zip through in 20 minutes)), writing, watching anime and the odd live action, playing around with paint (I refuse to call it art, because I'm Bad At It), er... I think that covers the ones I'm fairly consistent with.

12. Pets?

I wish.

If I could have pets, I would get two or three cats, a crested gecko or a colony of mourning geckoes, and a hognose snake if they came in a vegetarian version (I don't fancy dead mice in the freezer, sorry hoggos).

13. How tall am I?

Somewhere between 170 and 175 cm. I forget. I believe that translates to 5'7"ish?

14. Favourite school subject?

Biology and English.

15. Dream job?

Children's author. Middle grade is my jam.

Alternatively, collecting undergrad degrees in every field of study that interests me (there are many). I hear the pay isn't great, though. :(

*. Tags (as if I'd have fifteen whole mutuals, you big internet sillies): @queenbananya @callilemon @lordmushroomkat (no pressure as always)

15 Questions 15 Mutuals

The rules are: Answer the 15 questions and tag 15 of your mutuals.

ty @trvbblemaker for the tag :D

Are you named after anyone?

not that i know of

2. When was the last time you cried?

like last week after the orthodontist lmao

3. Do you have kids?

i have plants

4. What sports do you play/have played?

i did gymnastics and dance now i do nothing~

5. Do you use sarcasm?

it's somewhat of a coping mechanism

6. What's the first thing you notice about people?

how they dress/their hair

7. What's your eye color?

hell if i know

8. Scary movies or Happy endings

happy endings :]

9. Any talents?

i'm rlly good at overthinking and ignoring problems (like genuinely tho ig i'm good at art)

10. Where were you born?

america 🇺🇸 (i hate it here)

11. What are your hobbies?

crocheting, watching shows, drawing

12. Do you have any pets?

cat named otis <3

13. How tall are you?

i think technically 5'4 1/2"

14. Favorite subject in school

art

15. Dream Job?

something i don't hate hopefully in an art field

no pressure tags: @newtness532 @lirdgorl @rainysaturdayafternoon @justkeepwalkingnothinghere @snek-amiga @deusetco @crayonssmellgood @arshemelsoe @lizvi @bbreaddog @noworneverphantom + open tag