#sorry for the long absence i decided to take a break in december and then january wasn't.... fun

[saltylotus]

rinpana wedding for a @/joseiforaction donator on twitter 🕊️

[slttygeto]

CURSING MY NAME, WISHING I STAYED.

જ⁀➴ synopsis: you never got the chance to say goodbye to each other in 2007, you never thought you needed to. ten years later, you are still unable to find the right words as you stand in front of his lifeless body. if suguru geto was truly dead, who was the man standing in front you almost a year later?

જ⁀➴ content warning: angst, hurt/no comfort, manga spoilers, slapping and choking.

જ⁀➴ word count: 1,4k

જ⁀➴ note: this was requested about a year ago and I only got the chance to work on it today. enjoy :)!

You never associate Suguru with spring, despite it being such a lovely season, you remember it being the one season where he decided he needed to pull away. It was subtle, but you could feel it. He ate less, spoke less, he didn’t want to hang out as usual. You didn’t go on missions anymore, but you tried to be present. Even when summer came around and all hell broke loose.

You associate Suguru with autumn. Satoru doesn’t say a single word when you say it loud, when you tell him that that the orange leaves falling down and painting the road remind you of your past lover, how your love for him felt that way when he left—fragile, easily crushed. But Satoru would beg to differ. He could see it in your eyes, how they refuse to meet his when Yaga brings up the man’s name. It hurts to lose a best friend, but it hurts even more when you have a best friend and a lover in the same person.

Ten years later on Christmas Eve, Satoru has to put his best friend to rest. He doesn’t need to call you or tell you where he is, you just know. You show up as Suguru is taking his last breath and you stand there, unmoving. Your love for Suguru didn’t feel like autumn anymore. The tears running down your face were warm, and your chin was quivering as you let out a pathetic sob.

“I’m sorry.” What was Suguru apologizing for? For killing people or for betraying the people he loved the most? You couldn’t bring yourself to say anything, didn’t even bother to wipe the tears blurring your vision. You just stared at him, how a smile was dancing on his lips as he saw the two people he loved the most standing in front of him.

“Perhaps in another life,” Suguru’s voice is quiet, and you seem to take notice of how pale he looks. “I am who you’ve always wanted me to be.”

You wanted him to be many things, but it seemed unfair for him. If Suguru was truly unhappy while in Jujutsu high, then maybe you were never meant to be together. If he couldn’t wear a heartfelt smile in this world, then perhaps destiny played its cards wrong. If you were never able to keep Suguru around, then Suguru was never yours to keep in the first place.

You watch as the life slowly fades out of his body, and Satoru turns away from the corpse of his best as you kneel down in front of it and hold his lifeless body in your arms, the heart wrenching sobs that you let out force the strongest sorcerer to stand behind you and place a hand on your shoulder.

“It’s time to go.”

--

 “You’re late, (name).” You never associated Suguru with autumn after his death. In fact, no season could do your past lover justice. Yet the person standing in front of you reminded you of winter—cold, mean and lifeless.

Why was Suguru standing in front of you?

You and Satoru are unmoving as the familiar body of your best friend and lover approaches the two of you. You don’t speak, your lips are frozen as you stare in shock at the same person whom you’ve been mourning his death for the past twelve months.

Geto Suguru passed away on December 24th. You’ve been mourning his absence for almost a year—so who was this person standing in front of you?

“I don’t remember you being this quiet, my love.” The pet name sent shivers down your spine, and you watched as the hand of your past lover reached towards your face to hold it. You craved this, to be held by him again after so long, to feel the warmth of the one person who promised you a lifetime of happiness—only to break that promise so soon. You pull away harshly when the tip of his fingers touches your cheek, and Geto Suguru seems to find your hesitance extremely funny.

“Who are you?” You step back towards Gojo, and you don’t need to look his way to know that he was just as taken aback as you were. Wide blue eyes staring in shock at his best friend—his one and only. It was sad that Geto Suguru (while he was still alive) was your enemy for longer than he was a loved one or a best friend.

“Geto Suguru of course.” Liar.

“My six eyes…” Satoru starts, and your heart breaks at how panicked he sounds. “My six eyes are telling me that you are Geto Suguru.”

But he wasn’t Suguru. This wasn’t the man you fell for, nor the man you fought last year. You refused to believe that he somehow came back to life. Not when you kneeled in front of his corpse and held him in your arms.

“But my soul knows otherwise! So hurry up and tell us, who the hell are you?!”

It’s a gut wrenching feeling as you watch the man in front of you open up Geto’s head and toy with it as he wished. He lets out an ugly laugh, one that doesn’t match Suguru’s beauty.

“It’s a cursed technique that allows me to hop between bodies by switching brains. Of course, it lets me use the innate techniques within the body, I coveted his cursed manipulation and these exact circumstances.” His eyes then land on you and a sinister smile is dancing on his lips.

“You,” he starts, taking one step forward towards you. “As pathetic as you seem in this man’s memories, begged Gojo Satoru and Shoko Ieiri to not get rid of Geto Suguru’s body, am I right?”

As pathetic as you seem in this man’s memories.

You didn’t know what to react to first. His words felt like a thousand burning knives, each one stabbing you from a different side. You fight back the urge to jump on him, you know you’re at disadvantage because Satoru was bound to this prison realm.

“I did.” Your response is short and quick, and the man in front of you chuckles at how dry you sound.

“He loves you a lot, you know?” Kenjaku pauses for a second, and the time he takes before continuing makes you feel as though he was mocking you. “Always wished he could trade places with the strongest sorcerer. You two were close, it always nagged him.”

This wasn’t true. This could never be true because Satoru and Suguru were closer than ever. You don’t remember a single instance where you felt as though Suguru was jealous of his best friend. This man was trying to shatter you in hopes of trapping you the same way he trapped Gojo Satoru.

“How are you gonna let yourself get used like this, huh?” Satoru sounds enraged. “Tell me, Suguru!”  

You are just as shocked as Kenjaku when his neck twists, a sign of resistance when hearing Satoru’s loud yell. It was almost as if he heard him and wanted to wake up, to free himself of the man who was using his body to toy with the feelings of his loved ones. He then laughs, and again it sounds evil as he shakes his head in disbelief.

“Ha! No way! This is a first for me,” his eyes then fall on your frozen figure and by the look on his face, he was up to no good.

His hand makes its way towards you and wraps around your neck, you get that his intention was to choke you. But when his hand refuses to squeeze around your neck, the look on his face turns into an annoyed one. Kenjaku couldn’t hurt you, Suguru didn’t let him.

Unfortunately, he still had more control than the original soul occupying the body and his hand manages to grab your neck and push you up against the wall, knocking the wind out of your chest.

“You’re getting in the way.” No matter how hard Gojo tried to shift the attention back on him, Kenjaku seemed to want to get rid of you and as fast as possible. You find yourself thrown next to Satoru, tied up in similar bounds.

“Goodnight, my love.” His hand caresses your cheek, and you’re forced to feel his cold touch against your skin. You hear a smack and your cheek stings, teary eyes forced to stare into his cold ones when he roughly grabs your jaw.

“Let us meet in the new world.”

2023 ; all works belong to @ slttygeto. do not repost my works on any other platofrm.

[eand47]

Chapter VI | Cakes and Alleyways

Summary: You moved to one of the biggest cities in the world - Grand Line to pursue filmmaking career. Soon enough your path will cross with the vocalist of upcoming band called “The Neighbourhood”. At first you decided to be just friends - because it would be easier, but sadly as everything in life sometimes by taking the easy path we regret a lot of things.

Main characters: Portgas D Ace x Reader (female)

Supporting characters: Nami, Usopp, Luffy, Zoro, Sanji, Law, Deuce, Shanks, Buggy, Sabo, Eustass Kid, Koala, Robin, Dave (OC)

Description: Modern AU | Musician Ace

WARNINGS: major age gap!, explicit language, use of nicotine/cigarettes, mentions of alcohol, mentions of drugs, !mentions of being SPIKED!, mentions of (sexual) harassment, mentions of physical violence, mentions of blood, MINORS DO NOT INTERACT!

Word Count: 19,7K

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NOTE: First I’m sorry that the chapter took so long but at least it is quite long. Second: PLEASE TAKE GOOD LOOK AT THE WARNINGS AS I DON’T WANT TO TRIGGER SOMETHING TRAUMATIC IN ANY OF YOU!!!! Also I can't believe it has been one month since I started the fic, thank you all for reading and supporting it ♡ I hope that you guys enjoy it ♡

Snow was covering every roof and street in the Grand Line city. December came and so did the snow. Christmas lights were already lighting up the streets. The weather was getting colder with every passing day. I caught myself counting the days in the past two weeks. To be exact twelve days. Twelve days since I last saw Ace and I was not sure if I wanted to see him again. Five days ago, I couldn’t take the silence anymore and texted him, asking if I did something wrong or offended him somehow. Six days later still no response. Not even marked as read. I was trying to distract myself in every possible way, but he was still finding his way to my mind at least once a day. I felt so confused – confused, offended and hurt. Why? Why being all friendly and nice with me only to turn ice-cold and pretend like I didn’t exist the next day? I didn’t want to think about Ace, but I couldn’t. Even thought I was busy with shooting the sort-cut projects and editing them after, still even after all that stress the thing that bothered me the most was his absence. It was simply not fair. I did not deserve this attitude from him.

They released the music video a week ago. It already had one hundred sixty thousand views and growing in the span of a week, which for a first video was quite successful. All the guys found a way to contact me and thanked me for the video, all except Ace. And that added to the pain I was feeling. I would never do such thing to a friend. But he never saw me as one. At this point I was wondering what he saw me as?

I tried to shake away the thoughts and get ready to go out for a lunch with Shanks. I haven’t seen him in almost two months. We only talked on the phone a few times. On top of it I have barely spoken with my dad, and I felt so bad for it but also, I was starting to miss him a lot. I couldn’t wait for the Christmas break as I needed it both physically and mentally. I received a text from Shanks that he was waiting for me downstairs, so I put on my jacket and boots and ran outside. He had parked his red 4x4 jeep in front of my apartment building, waiting for me inside. I opened the door, and he greeted me with a big smile.

“How is my Foxy doing?” He ruffled my hair before turning on the car.

“Shanks.” I giggled as I tried to fix my hair. “I’m good, how is my favourite uncle doing?”

“Oh, what do you want your sneaky fox?” His eyes quickly glanced at me as we stopped at a red light.

“Nothing. Why would I be wanting anything from you?” I looked surprised at him.

“You call me your ‘favourite uncle’ only when you want something.” He snorted.

“Not this time. I just missed you.” I gave him half shrug. Shanks chuckled and patted me on the shoulder. After twenty minutes drive we arrived at the restaurant where Shanks had made reservation for us to have a lunch. The place was quite new. It was a top floor restaurant, decorated with flowers all around but the best part was the celling, which was entire made of glass. I have never been here before but the moment they seated us down and I looked at the menu I already fell in love with the place. The waiter came and took our order. We thanked him and handed back the menus.

“How is school going Foxy?” Shanks asked me while pouring some water in my glass.

“University, Shanks.” I corrected him. “It’s going pretty well. I must show you the movie I directed and wrote script for. I think I did pretty well.” I tossed my hair on the side a bit, bragging about my little accomplishment.

“I’m sure it will be the best one Foxy.” He smiled proudly at me. “A little bird told me that you also directed a music video.” Shanks raised his eyebrow knowingly, propping his elbows on the table and crossing his fingers under his chin. I hummed in response and nodded my head slightly. “Just a ‘mhm’?”

“What else am I supposed to say?”  

“I don’t know, but that was a big deal. And the video was pretty good, Luffy showed it to me.” His eyes were studying my face before he continued. “I also heard that Ace asked you to film it. Wanna say something about that?” His tone was light, but his gaze was stern.

“We met accidently while I was working on my film and he read the script, liked it, saw potential in me and asked me if I could do it.” I explained quick trying to brush off the topic.

“Of course he saw the potential, Ace is not stupid. But still don’t let him get in your head.” Shanks gave me another stern look.

“Shanks what is your problem with Ace?” I whined as I was tired of hearing the same thing over and over again. After all I’m not twelve and I have enough brains to know what would be good or bad for me.

“I don’t have problem with Ace, as long as there is nothing between you two.” Now his voice was also stern. “Ace is a good guy. I know the kid for a long time. He used to be problematic tho, but this is not important now. What is important for you, is to understand that guys like Ace hit and dip. What you want to be one of the many?” He snorted. “I don’t think so Foxy, so before you get your delusions broken use this brain of yours and u-“ His speech was interrupted by the waiter who came and served the food we ordered. I thanked him with a smile before I turn my attention back to Shanks as I gave him annoyed glance.

“Don’t you dare giving me that look.” He pointed his finger towards me. “Again, he is a good guy, but he is also very troublesome. So, case close.” His tone was low but warning.

“No, case open Shanks.” I protested. “I’m old enough to take my own decisions with who I go out and what I do with them. If I get my ‘delusions’ broken.” I mocked him. “Then it’s on me. Plus, Ace and I are just... just... “ I couldn’t find the right word to describe what we were exactly. “We are just acquainted.” I murmured the last part. “Plus, he is a very good person Shanks, and I haven’t seen him being problematic. So, I don’t know if we are talking about the same guy.” I didn’t know why I was defending Ace when he didn’t deserve it at all. I looked down on my plate and took a bite of my food.

“Oh, so you know him better, is that so?” Shanks tone became mocking as he got pissed. “Did you know that when Ace was sixteen, he beaten a guy up so bad it almost left him disabled? And he has been sued to pay the guy indemnification for ten years in the row. And do you know how Ace was being able to pay for it? Until two years ago he was known for selling drugs and beating up people if you pay him, so even after that accident he still didn’t learn his lesson. Now he started to earn some money with music, but we will see how long this will continue.” He raised his chin and eyebrows up waiting for my response. I didn’t know how to response to this. I just lowered my gaze and slouched on my seat. “Exactly, I thought so too.” Shanks snorted at me.

“You are no better than him you know.” I couldn’t stop the words escaping my mouth. Shanks chuckled, placing his hands on the table.

“Go on, Foxy. Elaborate.” He persisted.

“You...” I took a deep breath for courage before I continue. “You used to work for Gol D Roger, you sold drugs for the biggest narco-boss ever known and you are here playing Mr. Morals for a guy who did what he had to do, as life wasn’t very fair for him to begin with.” My chest rose and fell with rapid breaths, my eyes didn’t dare to look at him. I have never talked back to Shanks. I have had this big respect towards him since I could remember, and I have never crossed my boundaries with him. I was waiting for him to start yelling or get even more angry with me but instead he laughed out loud like a maniac. Everyone in the restaurant gave us a look. I slouched even more in my chair from embarrassment. Shanks cleared his throat still laughing.

“Oh, Foxy...” He clicked with him tongue while shaking his head, sill laughing a bit. “I was planning to save you this, but you are asking for it, now with this bratty behaviour.” Shanks looked me straight in the eyes before he continued. The look on his face was scaring me. “You know how I happen to know a lot of people and by chance I knew both of Ace’s parents. And guess what, fun fact for your ‘acquaintance’” A smug smirk appeared on his face. “Wanna know his real name before he changed it a few years ago? For which, I helped by the way.” He snorted, his gaze mocking as he was waiting for me to say something.

“Gol D Ace.” My eyes widen when I heard the name. I shook my head in disbelieve. “No, don’t shake your head like that. You heard me. He is Gol D Roger biological and only son.” I was shocked by this information. It couldn’t be, it was known that Gol D Roger never had a family. “What did your opinion about Ace change now?” Shanks continued to mock me. I bit on my lip and frowned with my brows before I looked at Shanks.

“No, Shanks. It didn’t. Ace is still Ace, and I would never judge someone based on who their parents are.” I swallowed hard. “After all my mother is a junkie, I guess you are the one who needs reminder.” I leaned on the back of the chair, my arms crossed as I was waiting for his response now. Shanks looked away embarrassed and cursed under his breath.

“The difference is that you don’t go after her steps, while Ace did like his father. And even thought Roger wasn’t as bad as he was portraited by the media, he still did bad stuffs, and so did Ace.” He tried to explain this time calmer. “Again – Ace is a good kid, but he swings the wrong way easily, and he is not good enough for you. Have your friendship or whatever with him...” Shanks sighed out loudly, waving his hand dismissively as he took a sip of his water. “I don’t want to see you hurt, Foxy.” He murmured. Silence took over the table. The chatter of plates and chitchats of people around us was the only thing that could be heard. I was lost in my thoughts. What I have heard right now wouldn’t change my opinion about Ace no matter what. My opinion about him was entirely based on how he treated me. The worst part of all was that the more I was learning about Ace the more I was understanding when it came to his behaviour.

“Please, eat.” Shanks broke the silence. My appetite was long gone but I didn’t want to argue with him again, so I took a bite of my food.

“Can I know, why you chose this place? You also said you have something to tell me. I doubt you wanted to come her only to tell me all this about Ace, so what is it?” I was keeping my eyes on the plate still affected by our argument. Shanks rubbed his temples with his fingers and sighed deeply.

“Well, I have some life changing news.” I slowly raised my head to look at him when he said that. I patiently waited for him to tell me what was going on. A little smile appeared on his lips before he took a deep breath in. I waived my hand at him to spill the bean. “I’m going to be a dad.” Shanks said with a grin on his face. I covered my mouth with my hands as my jaw almost hit the floor. I was shocked to my core. Shanks nodded his head slowly, letting me take my time to process what he just told me.

“Are you for real? This better not be one of your sick jokes.” I warned him as tears of happiness started to build in my eyes.

“I’m not kiddin’, Foxy. I’m going to be a father.” He chuckled, joy and pride glistering in his eyes. I squeaked, jumping from my seat to hug Shanks. Tears of happiness were falling from my eyes as he embraced me in his hug. We shared a laugh of joy as we sat back. I couldn’t find the words to describe how happy and confused I was feeling right now.

“H-how? Wh-when?” Was all I could ask him. I grabbed the napkin on the table whipping away the tears as I tried to safe my now a bit smudged mascara. Shanks laughed again.

“Foxy I’m pretty sure you know how babies are made.” He mocked me jokingly. I rolled my eyes at his comment.

“Yes, Shanks, I’m aware. But when? And most importantly, with who?” The big grin couldn’t leave my face. I was so happy to hear this, but also curious. Shanks has never had official girlfriend or anything close to it, so my best and only guess was that it must be a one-night stand.

“Well, it’s pretty early, she is six weeks pregnant. Her name is Natasha and yeah...” He bit on his cheek. I could see that he was feeling a little uncomfortable.

“Hm, was it a ‘hit and dip’ case?” I took a bite of my food, trying to withhold the smug smile that I wanted to place on my face. The whole situation was a bit funny, knowing how Shanks was embarrassed to admit that he got some girl knocked up. He just shot me a glance, warning me not to mess with him.

“It wasn’t planned this is something I can confirm, but I was you know... seeing her from time to time.” He said a little uncomfortable.

“How old is she? Have I seen her by any chance?” I continued with the question enjoying how uncomfortable this whole situation was making him feel.

“Twenty-seven. And no, you haven’t seen her anywhere.” My jaw hit the floor again after hearing the girl’s age.

“Twenty-seven? Shanks...” I stopped myself when I saw how his face scrunched as I repeated her age. Part of me wanted to scold him due the fact that they had twenty years difference, but then again who was I to judge people. “Um, what are your plans now? Like are you going to co-parent once the baby is born or you going to try being together, or...?” I asked. The situation wasn’t fun anymore, it was a little concerning. Shanks exhaled deeply, pulling his red hair a little bit.

“We decided to not rush with any decisions of this sort for now. Plus, I want her to be calm and not worry about anything in the next nine months as it will be more hard for her than me.” He was right, her life would change drastically even before the baby was born.

“How did her parents react? Also, how is she? Is she excited or not?”

“She is very excited. When she told me the news, she even warned me that she won’t do an abortion or anything like this in case I didn’t want to step up.” I nodded understandingly at what Shanks told me. “Well, her parents... let’s say they were happy until they found out our age difference.” He chuckled awkwardly.

“Were you surprised? Imagine I come and tell you ‘Oh, Shanks I got knocked up by a man who is almost your age’. I doubt you will be thrilled.” I snorted.

“Foxy, if you come at this age to me and tell me such thing, even if the guy is your age, your dad and I will crush every part of this guy’s body.” He was joking but I knew if this did happen, they would do this. I wanted to make more jokes to annoy him but decided to keep them for myself.

“So, I will finally have a little cousin. I have always wanted to have one and spoil her with presents.” I propped my chin on my crossed fingers as I stared to daydream about all the fun I was going to have with the baby.

“Hold up, Foxy. Who said it is going to be a girl?” Shanks chuckled and raised his eyebrow.

“You know what they say Shanks, don’t you? About men who used to ‘hit and dip’ a lot.” I smirked.

“What they say, Foxy? Enlighten me.” He rubbed his chin waiting for my response as I stared to giggle.

“A man who broke a lot of hearts, is a man who will be blessed with daughter to pay for his sins.” I couldn’t stop giggling as he rolled his eyes at me.

“Bullshit. This isn’t true, look at your dad – not a single broken heart left behind him, yet your sassy ass emerged from hell.” Shanks was fast with his comeback.

“Hey, don’t talk about dad like this. He is charming... in his own unique way.” I quickly defended my father.

“Foxy, the fact that you had to define his ‘charm’ as ‘unique’ is enough to tell us everything.” His whole body was shaking from laughter.

“Does he know?”

“Of course, he does.” Shanks huffed with a smile. “He also thought that I was pranking him.” We both laughed again.

We continued with the lunch and small talks. I was really happy for Shanks. He would be an amazing father, and he had experience with raising a child. His future baby was in good hands. After all, if it wasn’t for Shanks, my dad would have struggled to raise me all by himself.

When we finished with our lunch Shanks dropped me off back home. Before I left the car we stayed and talked a little bit more.

“You need some money or something?” He asked me seriously.

“No, I’m doing pretty good now. Especially after I filmed the music video. They paid me good you know.” I winked at him as I nudged his arm. “By the way, how do you know Luffy and why haven’t you ever mentioned him to me?” I just remembered to ask him this. Till this day none of them has told me how they met or became so close that Luffy saw him as a father figure.

“This is a story for next time.” He ruffled my hair. “Go home now kid. You have lectures tomorrow.” He sternly said to me. I rolled my eyes and huffed.

“Fine.” I opened the door and got out of the car. “But one last thing.” I said before closing it. “When will I meet... Natasha was her name, right? When will I meet Natasha?” I bounced on my toes.

“Soon, I promise. Now go, Foxy and be careful with what you do.” He pointed his finger to me before I closed the door. I stuck my tongue at him and I turned around to go home. Shanks drove off after he saw me entering the building. When I got inside my apartment I started to jump and squeak around. I couldn’t wait to meet the baby and Natasha. After taking my jacket and boots off and I changed my clothes to something more comfortable, I sat on the couch and called my dad on Facetime. The moment I saw his face on my screen I screamed.

“DAD SHANKS IS GOING TO BE A FATHER.” Tears welled in my eyes again. My father laughed heartfully.

“I know, darling. Sorry for not telling you sooner, but he wanted to tell you himself.” A gentle smile was placed on his face. “I can see that you are quite excited about it.” He chuckled.

“Of course I am, are you kidding me? I have already thought of all the games I can play with the baby, and the toys I can buy for it, and uhh, I just can’t wait to hug the little bundle of joy.” I couldn’t stop babbling about it. It was not even formed as a human yet, but I already loved it. “And I told Shanks that it will be a girl, remember my word. I just sense it with my gut, this baby is going to be a girl.”

“Well at least they wouldn’t need to worry about find a babysitter as you have already volunteered.” He joked and I nodded enthusiastically. “How are you baby girl? Last time we spoke you were super stressed, everything alright now?” His tone sounded concerned.

“I’m fine dad. Now that the short-cuts are done and the music video was released, I’m just waiting for the Christmas break.”

“Oh yes, the video. I watched it yesterday again. You killed it. And it’s getting so popular.” He said excited.

“Yeah, I’ve heard that it was doing good.” I clicked with my tongue.

“Why you sound so unamused? This is a very good thing for your future as a director.” He lifted his eyebrow, immediately picking up that something wasn’t alright with me.

“Yes, I agree. But I want to be movie director not a music one.” I winked. It was true, my main goal was movies, not music videos, but it was still a good showreel for my portfolio after I graduate.

“Still, you must be happy and proud for your success, without you this video wasn’t going to be this good, I guarantee you this.” Dad insisted. Of course, he would think this after all it was something that I have created, and I was his daughter at the end of the day. “Did something happen with the boy? It’s the singer one, I remember correctly, right?” His eyebrows waggled teasing me. “He is quite charming.”

“We are just friends dad. Nothing more than friends.” I shrugged, skipping the part where I have to explain that we weren’t even friends at this point but just some acquaintances, who happened to know some quite personal traumas about each other.

“You sure about that, doll?” It was like someone splashed me with ice-cold water when I heard the nickname.

“Dad, please, I beg you from the bottom of my heart... never and I mean it never ever call me ‘doll’ again, please.” My whole face scrunched up.

“What do you mean?” He squeaked his eyes widen faking his offence.

“Just...” I rubbed my temples with my fingers. “Please, any other nickname or pet name you want, just not ‘doll’.” I cringed, knowing how Ace referred to me as a ‘doll’, the last thing I wanted was for my father to do the same, even thought they used it with very different meanings. In my father’s mind when referring to me as ‘doll’ he was remembering the times when his little girl was in fact a little girl, going around bouncing on my tiptoes and my pigtails swinging from side to side while hugging my favourite baby doll pretending to be my own baby. Now with Ace, I wasn’t sure why he was calling me ‘doll’ all the time, but it wasn’t because of the same reason my father was.

“Okay, okey.” He shook his head defeated. “Now you mind sharing with your old man what is bothering you with this young fella?” I snorted at his poor attempted to imitated British accent.

“Nothing, dad. Really, as I told you last time, I am not good with getting hints and his hints were obvious that it is just a friendship, nothing more than that.” I gave him a half smile.

“Pff, what an idiot. It’s his loss, darling.”  

“Nah, it’s okay, dad. Plus, I have more important stuff to focus on that him.” This was indeed true, but my mind was still drafting to Ace all the time. “You know, he is a fan of yours.” I smirked.

“Is he? Well, maybe he isn’t such a big idiot.” My dad chuckled and I giggled. The rest of the conversation was us catching up. Me telling him about the whole process of the short-cuts and how it wasn’t as hard as I thought it would be but still stressful to film ten short movies in the span of ten days, but I was lucky enough to be in a very well organised group, so we all managed pretty good. I also shared with him how I got even more close with Nami and Usopp’s friend group and that my social circle and life here was growing. We also spoke about the upcoming holidays. Dad was planning to come here and stay over at Shanks’, and we would celebrate Christmas with him. Before we said goodbye, I told him how much I missed him, which made him go all emotional as we haven’t seen each other in almost six months, as his schedule was quite busy. He promised me that he would try his best to come a little earlier than planned so we could spend more time together, before we hung up.

The rest on the night I spent by myself doing the usual – watching movies, ordering some takeout and scrolling through my socials. When I refreshed my Instagram for a thousand time tonight, I saw the band’s profile has posted a story. I pressed on it to see it. They were announcing an upcoming performance for not this but next Saturday and that tickets were up to sell from tomorrow. A small smile appeared on my face. This was good, the guys deserved it. No matter where Ace and I stood as friends, his talent was something that no one could deny him, and the same went for the rest of the guys. They deserved the success that slowly but steady was coming in their way. I couldn’t stop myself and I opened their band account and clicked on the people they were following, which were only them four. All of them except Ace were following me. I went to his profile, and he had also posted a story. I hesitated if I should open it. He had almost five thousand people following him and I doubt he was the type to check who viewed his stories. I took a deep breath and pressed on it. There were two stories one where he had reshared the band’s account one, and the other one was a short video of him playing the guitar with a caption ‘testing some new tunes’. He had the orange beanie on top of his head but most of his face was hidden by his hair. I sighed closing the story. I hesitated again if I should follow him, but then the words ‘if he wanted to, he would’ crossed my mind. The fact that his bandmates and friends were following me, and I wasn’t even as close with them as I was with him, was enough to make me made up my mind and not follow him.

I just closed the app and laid on my bed. I was staring at the celling, thinking of what Shanks told me earlier. I knew Ace had a roughed past, but I wasn’t aware that he used to be violent. It was hard for me to imagined him being the person Shanks told me Ace used to be. But people change and Shanks said that Ace has been doing better in the past two years. The thing I was shocked by the most was that Ace was Gol D Roger’s son. He was known as the biggest narco-boss globally. The stories and rumours about his wealth and brutality were horrific. Shanks used to work for him when he was young. He even accidently slipped one time when he was drunk and told me the truth of how he and my dad became friends. My father also did work for Roger, and that was how they met and became like brothers. I have never mentioned to my father that I knew about this.

My dad’s past was something he has always hated to talk about and kept it privet from me. Until he became successful standup comedian, we were barely making the ends, and after a certain age I became fully aware that he was doing some bad things to make a living. Thit was the biggest reason why I couldn’t judge anyone based on who their parents were or their past, as sometimes in life we simply didn’t have choice, or we didn’t know better. If Ace and I ever spoke again I wouldn’t mention anything to him about the fact that I knew who his father was. Obviously, he didn’t want to be associated with him, not only because he had changed his name, but I remembered the only time he had ever mentioned his father was when he told me he had died before he was born, but the reluctance in his voice was as clear as a glass. This was something I could relate to. The despite I had for my mother was growing more and more with every passing year. The worst part was when I looked in the mirror. I didn’t have my father’s eyes or nose, neither the lips – it was all her. And I hated it, because the more I was growing up the more I could see the resemblance. Maybe that was why it was so easy for me to opened to Ace; we had different yet so similar pasts. My thoughts were interrupted by my phone vibrating, notifying me that I have a message. I reached to grab my phone and rose in bed immediately when I saw the message.

‘Stalking, huh?’ My heart skipped a beat when I read the message. It was from Ace. To say that I was confused would not be enough. Two weeks, we haven’t spoken for almost two weeks, and he hit me up at almost eleven pm with such cocky message. Sometimes I did forget how cocky Ace could be. I didn’t know how to response to the message. Not only I was embarrassed because, last thing I expected, was to get caught by him for checking out his Instagram profile, but because in fact I did not know how to respond to this. I thought for a moment to just ignore him the same way he ignored me in the past ten days, but I have always hated this back-and-forth games. I sighed before unlocking my phone and opening his message. All I could do was stare at it. I typed and deleted again and again as nothing seemed right to answer. At the end I send him the only thing that felt right – a middle finger emoji. Just that, a simple middle finger, as he did deserve it. I threw my phone next to me on the bed and ran my hands through my hair pulling it at the ends.

“Fucking Ace” I cursed out loud. I wouldn’t be surprised if he doesn’t response after this, but my phone vibrated again.

‘Yea, I deserve that. Sorry, doll. Didn’t mean to ignore you.’ I rolled my eyes at the message. I started to type when I received a third message from him. ‘Something bugged with my phone and I wasn’t able to response.”  My mouth opened wide as I couldn’t believe my eyes. I typed quickly, God the audacity this man had.

‘Thit was the best lie you came up with? Really?’ Chuckles escaped my lips as I couldn’t believe that he really thought I would fall for such a lame excuse. In response he just liked my message.

“Asshole.” I exclaimed loudly. This time I was pissed.

‘Fuck you Ace!’ The moment the message was sent he seen it and started to type.

‘Don’t be mad at me doll..’ I rolled my eyes again. Not the first nor it would be the last time I have had received this exact message from him.

‘I’m not your doll! Stop calling me that!’

‘You sure bout that?’

“Sure about which one exactly Ace?” I asked myself out loud. I left him on seen and decided to go to sleep as I have classes tomorrow morning. My phone vibrated again but this time it wasn’t a message it was a notification from Instagram. I laughed out loud.

‘@portgas.d.ace has requested to follow you.’ I read it out loud to myself. As much as he has pissed me, right now I was having fun with him. A mischievous idea crossed my mind and instead of accepting his request I denied it. He must apologise first and then he can have this access to me.

“These games can be played by two Ace.” I smirked to myself. My phone lit up again.

‘Did you just delete my request?’ I didn’t expect a response so fast and just like him earlier, I simply liked the message.

‘I’m not gonna request u again, doll ;)’ Instead of replying with my own response I forwarded him his own message - ‘You sure bout that?’

The smug smirk on my face growing with every second. He didn’t response after this, and I wondered if I pissed him off. Hopefully I did, if he thinks that I would easily forgive him, he was deeply wrong. These cheep tricks didn’t work on me and never would, so if he wants to have any kind of friendship with me, he better apologise properly for the past two weeks. I put my phone on ‘do not disturb’ mode and snuggled under my covers.

One thing I couldn’t deny was the warmth I felt in my heart and the smile on my face that Ace caused. Because – yes, I was still pissed at him, but it was also nice to chat with him again. I could say that in a way I missed him in the past ten days. It was so easy to get used to have him around. His charisma was intoxicating, no wonder he attracted so many people around himself. What bothers me, was the fact that I was catching myself craving these interactions with him. I shook my head trying to not think much of this right now, after all I wouldn’t be surprised if I don’t hear from Ace for another two weeks.

When I woke up in the morning, I saw I had a message from Nami. She had texted me that classes for today were cancelled due to our teacher being sick and asked me if I wanted to go out with her for a coffee. I agreed and got up to get ready. After I brushed my teeth and washed my face I put some light makeup. Before I dressed myself, I checked the weather app to decide what to wear. It was still pretty cold outside, so I just put on a light pink polo shirt with a pair of dark blue flare jeans. I grabbed a small handbag and put some lipstick and my ID in it, before I put on my long white coat and boots. I locked the door and put my keys in the bag. While I was walking towards the metro station, I checked the location Nami sent me. It was going to take me twenty-five minutes to get to there, but the good thing was that I needed to use only one metro line. When I got into the metro, I put my headphones on and played some music. One of the songs that played was Ace’s. I have to admit that I have been listening to the band quite a lot – but I did in fact enjoy their music. The song that played was ‘Compass’ and I caught myself smiling. The memories of them performing it live playing vividly in my mind; the interaction Ace and I had while he sang the song, the hand gesture he did that only I knew what it was referring to, when I bumped into him after, and Shanks interrupting us and the whole night was just playing in my mind. It has been two months since then. Two months since we accidently met in the coffee shop that same day.

Two months since we became... friends. If I could even call us that. Nami and Usopp are my closest friends, this was something I could say confidently. And since I filmed the movie at Sanji’s place, I could say that him, Zoro and Luffy were definitely my friends as well at this point. They even acted like extras in the movie for which I was so grateful for. Dave and I started to become more and more close with every passing day. But with Ace... I called him my friend, but somehow the word still stayed bitter on my tongue. Because friends by my understandings didn’t behave the way Ace and I did. My heart doesn’t skip any beat when I hang out with Dave for example. I have never craved any of my friends touch the way I did with Ace. My mood didn’t change based on how they would response on a message or how they would act when we meet. My mind was not occupied with the thought of them like it was with Ace. Recently a lot of things in my life were revolving around Ace and I did not enjoy this.

Lost in thoughts I almost missed the stop, but snapped out of it just on time to go out of the metro. It took me another ten minutes to reach the coffee shop where Nami was waiting for me. Entering the cafe the smell of freshly made pastries and coffee beans hit my senses. The sound of the coffee machine and people typing on their laptops or chitchatting with their friends could be heard all over the place. The coffee shop was small but quite busy, busier than my favourite one. I looked around and saw Nami sitting on one of the cozy couches they had. She waved when she saw me, and I made my way to her.

“Heyyy!” I greeted her when she stood up to give me a hug. “You look amazing.” I complimented her as she was wearing a nice long off shoulder white dress with her hair put in a beautiful messy bun.

“Aw, thanks you (Y/N), you look great, too.” She said while I was taking my coat off putting it on the side of the sofa. “I was waiting for you to come before I order any coffee, so shall we go and take a look at the menu?” Nami asked and I nodded in response. We stood by the counter and looked at the drink menu they had on the walls. Nami ordered herself a caramel latte and I took for myself a nice orange and cinnamon tea. We thanked the barista once our drinks were made and went to sit back.

“So how have you been?” Nami was the first to speak.

“Pretty good.” I response taking a sip of my hot tea. “Now that we are done with the short-cuts and I have already edit mine, I’m good. How about you?”

“Uh, don’t ask.” She whined. “I’m almost done editing it, but I can’t wait for them to do the evaluations next week, so I don’t have to deal with this again until springtime.” I nodded, agreeing with her. “But anyway, let’s not talk school today. I have an amazing offer for you.” She smiled at me and grabbed my hands in hers.

“Oh no, what is it Nami?” I dramatically huffed as I knew it would be something that I might not be very found of.

“I don’t know if you heard or saw somewhere but Luffy’s brothers are going to perform at ‘Ska Stage’ and we are all going and you must join us this time.” My eyes widen at what she said. I didn’t pay attention at all where they were going to perform last night then I saw the story. ‘Ska Stage’ was the most famous live music club in Grand Line, only already known bands and artists were performing there.

“Wait, are you kidding me? Are they really performing at the ‘Ska Stage’?

“Yes, I’m serious. I reacted the same way, don’t worry.” She giggled at my expression.

“I’m only surprised because... you know...” I struggled to find my words. “It’s a place for already... well famous artists.” I meant this in the most respectful way. Yes, the guys were talented, but they were still not that known at all.

“I know what you mean.” Nami clearly read the confusion on mt face. “But they are actually gaining quite lot of attention since you filmed their video.” She gave me a big smile and nudged me. I looked away for a moment as I got quite flushed over the fact that I had a little input over the fact that the band got more recognised over the past few weeks. “On top of it, they are going on a little tour like five cities for like two months can you believe it.” She excitedly squeaked.

“What? Are you for real?” I exclaimed loudly and covered my mouth with my hands as I was about to let out a scream. Nami nodded eagerly in response. “Wow, I can’t believe it. It’s all happening so fast, and I’m so happy for the guys. But I only saw the story about the performance next Saturday nothing about a tour?” I said to her confused.

“Well, they are still in discussion with the venues but they are almost done with the talks so they should announce it pretty soon.” She explained. I hummed with a nod.

“How do you know?” I chuckled raising a brow at her.

“Luffy.” She shrugged. I let out a little laughed when she said his name. “So, you are coming, right?” Her brows raised expecting my answer. I hesitated for a moment – yes, I would love to hear and see the guys perform and actually enjoy it, not like last time when I was working. On the other hand – was Ace. “Oh, please don’t tell me that you are hesitating now.” Nami whined interrupting my thoughts. I shook my head and chuckled.

“No, actually, yes.” I laughed awkwardly. Before she got the chance to say something I raised my finger in front of her face, stopping her from saying anything. “But yes, I will come this time.” I said and she squeaked again clapping her hand happily. I giggled at her excitement. “Who else is coming?” I took my tea mug, still hot in my hands, blowing it before I take a sip.

“The usual – Luffy, Zoro, Sanji, Usopp and Kaya.” I smiled in response as I heard who was going to come as well. While Nami was taking a sip of her latte her eyes widen, and she started to jump on the spot before she put the mug back on the table. I gave her a questioning look, wondering what gotten into her now. “Oh my God, you need to hear this. It is a boiling tea – so you know Koala, Sabo’s girlfriend?” She asked me excitedly. One thing about Nami was that she loved gossips and rumours, especially if they were a hundred percent true. I just nodded waiting for her to continue. “Well... she is not the only girlfriend anymore.” She said wiggling her eyebrows at me.

“Um... okay?” I got quite confused. “What do you mean by this? Like did some of them got in a relationship?”

“Yes, guess who?” She teased me, clearly enjoying this.

“I don’t know Nami, I don’t know the guys that well.” A puff of air left my nose in a makeshift laugh.

“Ace.” She mischievously smirked. For a moment I thought that my heart stopped when Ace’s name left her lips. Without realising my smile faded away and my brows frown, my whole-body slumping from the news. I looked down at my hands not knowing how to response. When? Was he having a thing with a girl this whole time? Was it Samantha or some other girl? How could he act so single if he was seeing another girl the whole time. I could feel my chest tighten. Thoughts were running wild in my head until Nami ironic laughter interrupted them.

“Oh God, I was joking, but seeing this reaction you can’t fool me anymore that nothing is going on between you and him.” Nami shook her head giving me a knowing look once I looked at her. She crossed her arms and tilted her head at me waiting for me to start speaking.

“Puff, I was joking as well. Gotch ya.” I poked her sides with my finger, trying to laugh off the situation. She just gave me a look, tapping her fingers on her arm as she crossed her legs facing me better now. I huffed and looked away for a second before I response. “Look, Nami...” I started not sure how to word my sentence. Nothing was happening between Ace and I, but at the same time things between us were weird. I couldn’t keep pretending that whatever was happening between us was a ‘friendship’ because it wasn’t. But I didn’t know what to called it either. I took a deep breath before I continued. “Nothing is happening, okay? And I swear by it when I say it. We are just... let’s say we are friends but not really friends, you get what I mean?” it was pointless to lie to her as she could be thousand things, but stupid was not one of them.

“What do you mean by ‘friends’ but not really? What you two sleep together or something?” She raised her shoulders as she was trying to understand what the situation was like.

“No, no, no I swear we have never done anything physical not even a kiss.” I quickly told her afraid that she might get the wrong idea. She gave me a doubtful glance. “Nami, I swear I haven’t done anything with Ace.” I looked her in the eyes, praying that she would see that I wasn’t lying to her. Nami sighed loudly and rubbed her temples. We stayed in a silence for a moment before she locked her eyes with mine. Her expression softened but instead of relief a bit of concern spread across her face.

“Do you have feelings for him?” Her tone was soft, but the concern was there. She even took one of my hands in her and gave it a gentle squeeze. I quickly shook my head and laughed at her question.

“Nami, no. Are you crazy?” I looked at her like she was coming from another planet. I didn’t have any feelings for Ace. I was just simply confused of where we stood as friends. “I don’t have any feelings or anything close to feelings for him.” I continued to deny it. Nami tilted her head down a bit, her eyes focused on mine as she bit her lips not believing my answer.

“Then why did you react like you got splashed with boiled water when I said he has a girlfriend?” I didn’t know how to answer this question. I didn’t even realise how I had reacted until she pointed it out.

“I just got surprised because I didn’t expect to hear his name at all.” I tired to defend my reaction.

“(Y/N)... look, Ace is... a big flirt, okay? I would understand if you have already developed some crush on him, but he is not a relationship guy and you... you are a relationship girl.” Nami was struggling to find her words and I could clearly see this, but I was taken aback when I heard her observation about me.

“What do you mean by me being a ‘relationship’ girl?”

“I mean that you are the type who wants stability not a one-night stand.” Nami clicked her tongue. I frowned my brows. I opened my mouth to say something, but nothing came out. “You see, that is what I mean, you can’t even deny it yourself.” She laughed at me.

“So what? Is that a bad thing?” I snapped. “Plus, I don’t have any feelings towards him, and I promise you he doesn’t see me for anything more than a friend. He made sure to make this clear.” I murmured the last part. Nami squeezed my hand again and I looked at her.

“I’m not saying it’s a bad thing, I’m saying that Ace is not the guy for it.” She explained as patted me on the shoulder. “I know a guy with an obvious crush on you though.” She smirked when I turned my head quick to look at her.

“Who?” I snorted raising my eyebrow curiously.

“I’m not telling you until you at least admit you have a crush on Ace.” She nagged with a smile.

“Nami I’m not admitting anything, I don’t have a crush on Ace. Yes, I do find him attractive but so what? Finding someone attractive and having crush on them are two different things.” I said and rolled my eyes at her. “Now tell me who has crush on me?”

“Yeah, keep lying to yourself.” She also rolled her eyes at me. “Anyway, are you really not getting who I am referring to?” Nami giggled at my confused expression. I shook my head, I couldn’t think of anyone who might have crush on me. “Come on, try to guess at least.” She nagged me.

“Nami, I really don’t know I don’t interact with a lot of guys, so tell me, who is it?” It won’t be Ace this was something I was sure of.

“Dave.” Nami said and smirked. I laughed at her answer.

“No, he doesn’t.” I continued to laugh. When it comes to Dave, this was a relationship that I was a thousand percent sure what was it, and it was nothing more than a friendship. “Look, I might be confused with my ‘friendship’ with Ace, but when it comes to Dave, I’m pretty sure where we stand.” I confidently said, taking a sip of my now chilled tea.

“Girl, be fucking for real now.” Nami mocked me. “Dave is head over hills for you, and you are so blind to see it, and now I know why – because you are too busy focusing on the wrong guy aka Ace.” She blabbed and I gave her an ice-cold look.

“First of all, I’m not focused at all on Ace, and second you are wrong about Dave, plus I don’t see him in that way, so case closed.” I gave her a mocking smile and she rolled her eyes at me again.

“Okay, answer this one question and I won’t bother you anymore, if you have to choose between Ace and Dave who would you choose?” The look in her eyes was challenging as she raised her eyebrow.

“The one who makes me feel understood.” I said and winked at her, knowing that my answer left her confused a bit. She was about to protest when I interrupted. “Now tell me the tea.” I knew this was going to distract Nami for a bit. I didn’t want to talk anymore about Ace, let alone Dave as Nami was more wrong about Dave than she was about Ace.

“Oh yes, so apparently Law is having a serious girlfriend now. And she is also coming to watch them, and we are going to meet her as she will be joining our group with Koala.” Her eyes lit up with excitement while she was giving me more and more details about the whole ‘Law’s girlfriend’ situation. At some point I stopped her little rant to ask where she got all this information from which she gave me two names – Luffy and Usopp. At this point these two were as big of a gossipers as Nami was. We stayed for a little bit more before we decided to leave. While we were walking to the metro station, we continue to chitchat. Before we went to our separate ways, I called after her.

“About... about Ace... you wouldn’t tell anyone, right?” I knew she wouldn’t, but I had to make sure she would promise she wouldn’t mention anything to anyone.

“I haven’t seen nor heard anything.” She winked at me and smile before disappearing from my sight. I bit on my lip nodding to myself before I turned to walk to my direction.

On my way to home I started to think of what Nami said, especially about Dave. We did become closer in the past few weeks, but not in the way Nami saw it. We did hang out a lot around the university, Dave invited me out a few times, but I had to turn him down as I was busy with other things at the time. But going out and going on a date were two different things and Dave never invited me out on a date. He was just super friendly and a good person in general, so Nami was left with the wrong impression. Even if he did invite me on a date, I would have turned it down as I didn’t see him as anything more than a friend. Seeing Dave around university or even if I saw him randomly on the street would be nice, as he was my friend and I love coming across my friends, but there would be no blood rush, no heartbeat skipped, no excitement for when I would see him again – I would simply feel nothing.

I got home and changed into something more comfortable and like every other day I was either going to read or watch something as I didn’t have any other plans for the day. I sat on the sofa and grabbed my phone. Without realising what I was doing I opened my messages with Ace. When I realised what I have done I slightly shook my head in confusion. I knew why I opened his messages because when I was with Nami I thought of texting Ace to congratulate him on performing in ‘Ska Stage’ but he still hasn’t apologised properly so I shook the thought away. But now – home alone and bored I realised that I didn’t want to just congratulate him, I wanted to speak with him, to have some kind of interaction with him. I caught myself craving his presence, his attention even and this scared me to my core. Tossing my phone to the side before I do something that I might regret later, I grabbed the blanket and threw it over me before I put something to watch. I tried to shake the feeling away and distract my mind from Ace.

Whatever I put on the TV didn’t matter as my thoughts ran back to my last conversation I had with Kid. Out of nowhere I remembered the last time we saw and spoke to each other. It was after the Halloween party and I remembered I asked him how to tell if a guy who was kind of an ass might be into me, and his answer was simple – he would keep his distance but fail to do so every time. I wondered if this was the case with Ace, but I doubt it. Ace was just... Ace. Whatever might have logic to explain things for a normal person it didn’t apply for him. Ace was special in his own unique way, the last thing on the list of why he would constantly disappear and reappear was because he was into me. After all he was the one who made sure to make it clear that we would never be anything more than friends, even thought his view for ‘friendship’ was questionable. At this point I was the one who must distance myself from him even if it would be quite hard considering how much time I have spent recently just thinking about him. Yes, I should do this. I can’t afford to fall for Ace, let alone to admit to myself that the ‘innocent’ crush was starting to grow into something bigger.

The following week past by fast and before I knew it was already Friday. We were having our official evaluations today and I was quite nervous, but at the same time I was looking forward to seeing my classmates’ movies and see how everyone’s vision has come to life. I took a seat between Nami and Usopp. Usopp pulled out different type of candies and small snacks from his backpack as we were going to watch movies the entire day and there was noting better than having something to munch on while watching. First it was Nami’s group, so for the first four hours we were watching their movies. Nami’s short film was beautiful, it actually made me tear up, as it was about a girl who was saying goodbye to her childhood toys in metaphor of losing her innocence. Her movie started so colourful – everything filmed in warm tones, while the end was in a way darker colours representing the grieving of the girl.

“It’s beautiful Nami.” I whispered to her as I wrapped my arms around her when the film finished. She cooed at me as she saw me crying and gave me a napkin.

“Thank you.” Nami said to me and then focused on what our teachers had to say about it.

After we saw the last movie from her group, we got an hour for lunchbreak. Today was pouring rain outside so we went to the university cafeteria and sat by one of the tables next to the big windows. We were mostly discussing the movies we saw and which of them we liked the best. As we were talking Dave saw us and came by our table, taking a seat next to me.

“Hey, what’s up guys? How are the evaluations going?” He gave me a charming smile before he focused his attention to Nami and Usopp. Nami glanced at me for a second before a little smiled formed on her face. I mockingly rolled my eyes at her as I knew what she was implying with this look on her face. Usopp and Dave started to chitchat and Nami was joining from time to time. I was eating my sandwich not really paying attention to their conversation, looking at the rain falling outside from the window as I had something totally different in mind. I felt a finger poking my sides and I quickly turned my head towards Dave. “What’s up? Are you out in space again?” He asked with a smile, but my eyes widen at his question. Did he just say, ‘are you out with Ace again?’

“Excuse me?” I must have heard wrong. Dave laughed at my expression and repeated his question.

“I asked, are you out in space again?” This time he said it slower. My brows raised and my mouth formed in an ‘O’ shape as this time I heard correctly.

“Sorry, I heard something totally different.” I chuckled. “Yes, I was out in deep space again.”

“What did you hear?” Usopp asked raising his eyebrow. I waved my hand in dismiss as it wasn’t important.

“So, Dave what are you doing tomorrow?” Nami asked him but glanced at me. She was up to something. I could tell it by the way her eyes had mischievous flame dancing in them.

“Watching football match with some of my friends. Why?” He turned his head to Nami, interested in what she was about to offer him.

“Do you want to come with us instead to watch the guys perform live?” She gave him a saccharine smile resting her chin on her palm. I shoot her a quick annoyed glance before I could stop myself. I didn’t even know why I did it, but I just hoped that Dave would say no.

“The guys?” Dave asked before he realised whom Nami was referring to. “Oh, your friends? No, thank you I will pass.” He said, but it was something in his tone that caught me off.

“What do you mean by ‘no I will pass’?” I mocked his voice. Dave raised his shoulders a bit and gave me an apologetic look before he answered me.

“Not a fan, sorry.” He awkwardly said, scratching the back of his neck while avoiding looking at me.

“Why’s that Dave?” Nami asked just a second before I could. I could see that Dave was getting a little uncomfortable.

“Let’s just say that it’s not my type of music.” He chuckled. I snorted at his response, and they all turned their attention towards me.

“Yes, they are. You have played me some of your friends’ music and it is quite similar to what Ace does.”

“They do.” Nami quickly added. I gave her a questionable look. “You said ‘what Ace does’ I’m just correcting you that they are four of them.” She smugly smiled at me knowing what she was doing. Usopp’s eyes shifted between both of us catching that something was up. Dave had his head turned to the side so I couldn’t see his reaction as he was facing away from me.

“Ha-ha did I? Well, usually we refer to the lead singer, don’t we?” I chuckled awkwardly hoping that no one would make a big deal out of it. Dave taped his hand on the table before he stood from his chair.

“I have to go now, guys. See you around.” He bit us a quick goodbye and left before we could say anything.

“That was strange.” I said. Usopp nodded and Nami gave me a look. “What?”

“Usopp, do you think Dave is into (Y/N)?” Nami tilted her head to Usopp. My eyes widen in disbelieve. Usopp just nodded in response as he was eating. Once he swallowed his food, he cleared his throat before he spoke.

“It is painfully obvious.” He took another bite of his food.

“Thank you, Usopp.” Nami loudly exclaimed and clapped with her hands.

“No, he is not. I promise you guys, you are wrong about this.” I argued with them. Dave was not into me and even if he was, I refused to believe it as the feelings weren’t mutual. Nami was about to start arguing with me, but Usopp beat her.

“Yes, he is. He even asked me if you are seeing someone and if that was why you are turning him down all the time.” He calmly said. My brows raised up when I heard that. “He even thought that something is going on between you and Ace, but I promised him that there is nothing going on between you two.” I side-eyed Nami when Usopp mentioned Ace and she raised her eyebrow at me with a ‘I told you’ look written all over her face.

“I have never turned him down, neither I knew that he was asking me out on a date.” I quickly defended myself. “Plus, he asked me as well for Ace, and I told him that nothing is going on between us, I don’t know where he got this idea from.” I sighed rolling my eyes.

“Ace was giving him looks while we were filming the video all the time, so no wonder he thought you might be the reason why, but I reassured him that Ace is sometimes like this around new people.” Usopp explained.

“Yeah, Ace does this sometimes. No wonder Dave left when you mentioned him.” The sassiness in Nami’s voice clicked something in me and I got pissed.

“Okay, I want to make something clear to everyone once and for all.” I stood up from my chair as I started to put my lunchbox back in my bag. “There is nothing between Ace and I, okay? Is that clear?” I pointed my finger at both as they were looking at me with widen eyes, surprised by my outburst. “And I have made it clear that I’m not interested in dating anyone, so if someone has anything towards me sorry not sorry it is not mutual. Now please if you excuse me, I need some time alone.” I put my bag on my shoulder and storm out of the cafeteria.

I went out for a few minutes to get some fresh air. The rain was still pouring, and it was getting even colder, but I needed some time alone. Why was everyone assuming something was happening between Ace and me? All the ‘closure’ we have ever had was when no one has been around. Did Luffy mention something? I have heard that he has a big mouth, but he did promise me to not tell anyone about that one time I stayed over Ace’s place.  Honestly, I was tired of hearing and talking about Ace and in the past week or so he was the main topic in all the conversations I have had with people.

I looked at time on my phone and sighed. It was time to go back to the cinema room to watch my groups movies. I slowly made my way there and when I entered Nami and Usopp were waiting for me. For a moment I hesitated if I should take a new seat, but this was going to be very childish of me, so I just sat between them without saying anything. They gave me an apologetic look, but I just ignore it.

My movie was the third one of that we saw from our group. It received something between a bad and a good grade, which wasn’t the grade I was aiming for and this made me a disappointed at myself. I knew it wasn’t going to be the best, but also, I didn’t expect it to be so average.

“It was a great movie (Y/N).” Nami whispered in my ear as she gently placed her hand on my shoulder. Usopp gave me the thumbs up and mouthed ‘good job’. I slightly nodded and thanked them. If my mood was bad because of the conversation we had before the second part of the evaluations now it was completely ruined. Usopp’s movie was last – it was about a man who had to choose between chasing his dream or staying to live in the small town where he came from with the love of his life. The ending was open to the audience which added a very nice note to the movie. I patted him on the back when it finished, as he did a great job. After the evaluations were done, I was the first one to leave the room immediately. I heard Usopp yelling after me, but I guessed Nami stopped him as none of them came after me for which I was thankful. All I wanted was to be alone for a bit.

I got home as quick as possible. The moment I took off my jacket and boots and sat on the couch my tears stared to fall. As much as I doubted myself, I have always tried to be the best in the things that I did. Knowing how much effort I put into this project and receiving an average grade did affect me. I knew that my script wasn’t the most unique scenario out there, but the grade was not based on scripts. It was based on directing. And I did fail. I pulled my legs close to my chest as I wrapped my hands around my body. Quiet sobs left my body. Thoughts were running wild in my mind about what I could have done differently to change the outcome of the movie. It was only a project, but it was the most important one for the first semester, and in my mind, I failed it. And I knew that many more projects were coming, but it wasn’t just the grade that put me down – it was the effort, the stress, the time, all this that I invested in, only to be an average result. I looked at my phone and I saw that I had some messages from Usopp and Nami, wondering if I was alright and if I needed someone to talk to I should call them. Another sob left my lips as I realised how bad I treated them today with my outburst. They were too nice to me. I didn’t respond to them right away instead I was just staring at the contacts I had on iMessage. There was one person who I knew was going to understand me, but I didn’t want to bother him. It was more like I wasn’t sure if he would mind me to bother him.

Before my mind could process it, I was already dialing his number. I put it on speaker and placed it on my right knee as I propped my head on my left one. The phone continued to ring for some time and just as I was about to hang up, he picked up.

“Hello?” His voice was low and raspy as always.

“I failed my short-cuts.” I said quietly and sniffed.

“I doubt this, doll.” His tone was soft but the way he said it was very assuring.

“Oh, I-I did Ace. I really did a b-bad job, the grade I got i-is quite average a-and compared to my classmates m-movies mine was just ‘okay’, nothing wow. I-I failed as a d-director.”

“Wow, wow, calm down okay. First of all, are you crying?” Ace asked concerned. I hummed and sniffed again. “Doll, please relax. I know the feeling, okay? We can’t always be at the top.” He chuckled. “And you said that your movie is average, you didn’t say ‘bad’ – average doesn’t always mean bad.”

“But it was nothing ‘wow’. And I had made quite lot of mistakes directing the actors.” I cried.

“Oh, you cry baby.” Ace chuckled softly. “Last time I checked you were a filmmaking student, not a filmmaker already. Don’t beat yourself so much. Just learn from whatever mistakes you’ve made.” His tone continued to be calm and reassuring. I didn’t know how to respond to what he said because he was right. I was overthinking it rather than learn from it. “Do you need me to come?” He broke the silence that took over the phone.

“No, please don’t. I just... I just needed someone to talk to.” I sniffed again and whipped my tears with the back of my hand. I cursed myself in my mind. “I’m so sorry for calling you, I don’t know what took over me. I-I hope... I-I didn’t bother you with my o-outburst and... and c-can we forge-” Ace was quick to interrupt me.

“You didn’t bother me at all.” His voice was tender. “And stop apologising and crying, otherwise I will come despite your wants.” He warned me and I could sense that he wasn’t joking. “Also, I doubt your movie is as bad or ‘boring’ as you clamed it to be. So next time your pretty face is free you are coming over and showing it to me, okay?” His voice was playful which made me smile.

“Okay.” I giggled. “I will do that, I promise.”

“Good.” He simply responded. “Plus, give yourself some credit. Our music video is already at two hundred thousand views on YouTube, and you directed this. Not many of you classmates can say the same, am I wrong?” I have totally forgotten about this, until Ace mentioned it. It has gained even more views in the last week.

“Oh my, I didn’t know it got so many views. Congrast Ace.” My smile grew wilder.

“Well, thanks, but this was possible because of you. Don’t forget that.” He hummed on the phone.

“You give me too much credit. People listen to the music and don’t pay that much attention to the video.”

“Yes and no, bu-” Ace got interrupted as I could hear someone calling for him. “Listen doll, I must go now, as we are rehearsing for tomorrow. But please, relax. It was just a grade not the determination of your career.”

“You are right.” I let out a sigh.

“If you need something or...” He paused for a second before continuing. “Or you need me just let me know.” His voice got even lower, and I just hummed in response. “Okay, I have to go now, take care.”

“Ace...” I said just before he hung up.

“Yes, doll.”

“Thank you.” I whispered. He didn’t say anything and just hung up.

I could feel myself relax a bit. This was the thing about Ace – he always knew how to make me relax, how to calm me down, how to make me feel safe. Even if we haven’t seen each other for almost three weeks now, deep down when I was dailing his number I knew that he would pick up. I knew that he was the only person who could calm me down and he did. I got this weird warm feeling in my chest when I recalled him calling me ‘pretty face’. He knew how to sweep a girl off her feet. If I wasn’t affected right now, I was probably going to make some snarky comment on it, but not this time. I took my phone and quickly wrote an apologetic message to Nami and Usopp.

After almost an hour I got a phone call from unknown number. I picked up and it was a delivery. The delivery guy asked me if I could give him the door code so he could deliver it to my door or if I would like to go down and picked it up myself. I explained that I haven’t ordered anything, but he said that he had my address and name given with the phone number. That was strange, but I gave him the door code as I was too lazy to go down myself. The doorbell rang and I opened. He gave me the bag with whatever was inside and left. I closed the door and looked at bag that seemed to have food in it. I raised my eyebrows in confusion because I haven’t made any order. I put the bag on the kitchen counter and opened it.

“No, he didn’t.” I exclaimed as I covered my mouth with the palm of my hand. Inside the bag was a box of my favourite chicken wings from Pappa Grappa and there was another box with three different cakes – a chocolate cake, a carrot cake and an Oreo cheesecake. There was also a little note in the bag: ‘I wasn’t sure which one you would like so I got you all three – Ace.’ I almost started to cry again. No one has ever done such gesture for me. My hear was beating fast in my chest. I closed my eyes and bit my lip as I tried to stop the big smile growing on my face. Why would he do such thing for me? I grabbed my phone and quickly wrote him a message.

‘You didn’t have to do this... but thank you.’

‘I know. I just wanted to.’ He replied after some time.

I reread his message a few times. It was on a repeat in my mind. Something in this message made me feel in a way I have never felt before. But not in a way where butterflies were flying in your stomach or you breath stops, nothing like this. It was this hard to explain feeling of significance if I may call it this way. Like he cared about me, otherwise he wouldn’t do such thing. Ace is a good person, but I have noticed that there are things which he would do only for those who he cared for. A warm feeling bloomed in my heart. Ace cared for me.

I placed my hand on my chest, feeling the beating of my heart. This wasn’t a ‘innocent’ crush anymore. I couldn’t lie or deny it to myself anymore. After all, in a bad day like this one he was the first person I called, he was the person I needed, he was the person who made it better. I did not fall from this small gesture – no. This small gesture just opened my own eyes for the truth that I was trying to deny myself. I did have feelings for Ace. They were nowhere near to being in love with him, but they were there. They were there, freed from the shackles I have had wrapped around them. I felt free as I no longer needed to lie to myself. Yes, maybe they weren’t mutual feeling, but the fact that he cared for me in his own way was enough. I picked a fork from the kitchen drawer and opened the cake box taking a bite of the chocolate cake. I wasn’t sure if the cake was really this sweet or me coming to terms with my feelings towards Ace. The only thing in my mind without any guilt this time was the thought of Ace and the fact that I was going to see him tomorrow night.

My apartment was a mess. There were clothes and shoes everywhere and my make up was all spread around the bathroom counter. Nami and Sanji were going to pick me up in less than an hour now and I was nowhere close by being ready. I have just finished doing my hair and what was left was choosing an outfit and putting a lipstick on. Since yesterday I was thinking what should I be wearing tonight, and nothing seemed to be good enough. I even called Nami earlier wondering what she was planning to wear even thought I wasn’t planning on matching with her. Her saying that she was going to wear a mini dress gave me the confidence to go for something not so cold friendly as well. Speaking of Nami, I received a message from her that they were going to be outside my place in fifteen minutes, and it sent me into a spiral.

I set my mind on something simple, yet eye catching – a silver sparkling mini skirt with a white top. I added some nice sliver jewellery as final touches to the outfit before I put on my white high heel booths on and coat. I took a final look at myself and realised I forgot to put on lipstick. I ran to the bathroom and searched for the one I had in mind. When I finally found it and the lip pencil, I carefully lined my lips and filed them up with the lipstick. Now I gave myself one final look and smiled at myself. I put the lipstick and the lippen in my coat’s pocket as I decided to skip on a purse.

Running down the stairs my heart was beating fast. In less than an hour I was going to see Ace and this bubble of excitement was growing bigger with every passing minute. We haven’t seen each other in three weeks, and I was going to lie if I said I didn’t put extra effort in the way I looked today. Opening the backseat door of the car I was met with almost the whole gang.

“Hey guys.” I greeted all four of them. Luffy scouched in the middle seat making space for me to sit. When I sat down, we three were like sardines in a can, and we started to laugh as Luffy was too tall to sit in the middle. I offered him to switch before Sanji drove off, but he said he was okay. “I didn’t know you two were coming with Nami and Sanji.” I said to Luffy and Zoro.

“A free ride is a free ride, shihihi.” Luffy grinned at me. Zoro slightly nodded agreeing with Luffy.

“You look mesmerising (Y/N).” Sanji complimented me as we locked eyes in the front mirror.

“Thank you, Sanji. You too, as always.” I smiled at his compliment.

“Be careful (Y/N), you might give this dumbhead, a heart attack and he will crash us before we even drove off.” Zoro snorted.

“You better shut up, before I kick you out of my car, mosshead.” Sanji snapped back. They started to snap back and forth between each other, something that was a typical for them. Luffy was laughing at their banter and Nami turned to me.

“Girl, you look stunning. Planning to break some hearts tonight?” She teased me.

“I could say the same about you.” I teased her back. I couldn’t see how she was dressed under her coat, but she mentioned she was going to wear a red mini dress. Her hair was up in a very nicely done bun while some strands were freely falling around her beautify face.

Soon we arrived at the club. The queue was long, way longer than the one in front of ‘The Red Pirates’. The security guards were intimidating but not as much as Beckman and Lucky. Behind them the loud music from the club could be heard even far away from the entrance. Suddenly a small wave of anxiety hit me, and I wrapped my coat tighter around my body. Zoro seemed to notice and came closer to me.

“Don’t worry, we are cutting past the queue, and we have a special table.” He said in my ear. I smiled and nodded at him, as silent thank you for his reassuring. Nami called after us to follow her. By the entrance were standing Koala and one more girl. The girl had a tall and nicely curved body. Her long black hair was falling freely on her back. When she turned around, I was amazed, as I have never seen such a gorgeous woman before. I even heard Zoro murmuring ‘damn’ quietly under his breath.

“Hello guys.” Koala waved her hands excitedly at us. Luffy was first to reached her and he wrapped his arms around her, lifting her up from the ground. “Luffy put me down.” She squeaked happily. He did as he was told and let a boyish laugher. When she saw Nami and me she gave us hugs. “How are you girls, you look stunning.” She complimented us. “Oh, everyone. This is Robin, Law’s girlfriend.” Koala introduced us to the beautiful woman who’s name we have just learned. I glanced at Zoro whose face was unreadable as always, but I caught his lip twitching a bit when he heard that Robin was taken.

“Nice, to meet you, Robin.” I smiled at her.

“Nice to meet you, as well guys. I have heard quite a lot about you.” She shyly chuckled.

“Whatever you have heard and depends on from who it might be true.” Sanji winked at her. Nami sighed loudly next to him and nudged his sides. Sanji gave her an apologetic look as he couldn’t contain his admiration towards Robin.

“Are we all here?” Koala asked as she counted us to make sure we didn’t miss someone.

“Usopp and Kaya should be here any minute now.” Luffy told her.

“Okay, let’s wait for them. Hopefully they come soon as I need to go and see my man before his big night.” Her eyes sparkled when she referred to Sabo. “And Robin here, too. It’s so nice to know that I’m not the only girlfriend you know.” She said jokingly.

It didn’t take long for Usopp and Kaya to join us. Now when we were all together Koala cut the line and spoke with the guards. They nodded at us and took down the rope letting us in. We walked in straight and left our coats in the cloakroom.

“Wow, (Y/N), you look gorgeous, I love the skirt.” Koala said to me as I took of my coat. I got flattered by her compliment.

“Oh, thank you. I bought it in the summer but never got the chance to wear it.” I chuckled.

“Well, tonight is your lucky night.” She winked at me before she turned to everyone. “Okay guys, follow me to our table and from there on you deal on your own.” Koala clapped her hands, and like a kindergarten kids we followed her strictly.

The club was big, it could probably fit up to five hundred people, and the fact that the guys sold out the show meant it would be full tonight. The illumination lights were showering the place in blue and purple colours. Where the stage was positioned the band’s logo was on display, behind the DJ booth. The music which he was playing was quite popular and catchy so there were already a lot of people dancing and singing on the dance floor. The dance floor wasn’t as crowded as the bar was. I could only imagine the stress the bartenders were under with so many people around. We reached the VIP section and there was security standing at the podium. Koala showed them something on her phone and they nodded letting us pass and gave us paper bracelets, which were for them to know that we were allowed in this aera.

“Okay, guys I have pre-ordered the drinks I know you all usually drink. There are waitresses as well so if you go out of something let them know.” Koala had to scream so we could hear her. “Robin and I must go and see the guys before they start, so leave something for us as well, okay?” She laughed before grabbing Robin by the hand and disappearing into the crowed. I frowned a bit, as I realised, I wouldn’t be able to see Ace until they were done performing.

“Luffy, I love your brothers for paying for all of this.” Nami wrapped her arms around Luffy giving him a kiss on the cheek.

“Come on guys, let’s get this party started.” Luffy yelled over the music and clapped with his hands. It didn’t take Zoro and Sanji another second to start opening the three bottles of alcohol in the table. They filled up everyone’s glasses with ether vodka or rum, Zoro and Luffy mixing both, with some cola or redbull. Zoro handed me mine and I thanked him. Everyone cheered and took a sip of their drink. I didn’t want to get drunk tonight, so I was planning to keep it light with the drinks. The guys were going to perform around twelve and I had no idea what time it was already. I got a little jump scared when I started to pat my sides only to realise, I forgot my phone in my coat. An annoyed sigh left my lips. Kaya was sitting next to me, wrapped in Usopp arms so I tapped her on the shoulder.

“Kaya, do you have any idea what time it is?” I leaned close to her ear so she could hear me. She took Usopp’s hand and looked at his watch.

“Eleven twenty.” She said as loud as possible over the loud music. I nodded my head and mouthed a ‘thank you’. I took look at our surroundings. The club got even more crowded since we have been here. Sanji and Usopp were chitchatting about something, while Nami was in between Zoro and Luffy taking vodka shots. The VIP podium was a little higher so while my eyes were roaming around, they locked with some random guy. He gave me a smile and raised his drink at me for a greeting. I raised mine just a bit, giving him an awkward smile in return.

“Get up you two.” Nami came and pulled both of Kaya and me up. “We are here to have fun, not to sit like some old people.” She handed each of us a glass of shot. We were about to protest when she pointed her finger at us with a stern look. Kaya and I glanced at each other, and we raised the shot glasses for a cheer before drinking them. I scrunched my face from the after taste and Kaya’s whole body shook. “Now we are talking.” Nami smiled wide.

“I will run to the toilets.” I said to Kaya.

“You want me to come with you?” She gently placed her hand on my mine.

“No, it’s fine, I will be back fast.” I reassured her and turned around to go and search for the toilets. I stopped and asked the security to guided me where I could find them, and he pointed the direction. On my way to the toilets, I had to push through people as everyone was bumping into each other. Someone bumped into me but instead of saying sorry or anything they just stayed there. It was the guy who smiled at me a few minutes ago.

“Hey, you.” He came closer to me and leaned to my ear. “You are quite an eye catch.” He said eyeing me up and down. I gave him another awkward smile as I tried to move past him. But he didn’t let me.

“Sorry I need to go to the toilet.” I screamed over the loud music as I took a step back.

“Give me, your name at least.” He came closer to me again. This guy was making me feel uncomfortable. In comparison to me he was taller, but not very tall. Very muscular, but obviously not naturally. His hair was cut short and somehow it suited his face. He wasn’t ugly, but he wasn’t attractive as well. It didn’t really matter as I was not interested in him at all. I got the hint that he wouldn’t let me go until he gets my name, so I gave it to him. “I hope to get to see you again (Y/N).” He said as he stepped aside. I quickly made my way to the toilet and sighed in relief. This guy gave me the chills.

As the security guy was letting me back in the VIP aera my breath got caught in my lungs. Ace was at our table speaking with Usopp and Luffy. He was standing with his back facing me, but I could recognise his posture and black raven hair from miles away. The security snapped his fingers in front of my face as I had frozen on the spot. I lowered my head and stared to slowly walk to our table. I tried to fix my hair a bit before he could see me. My heart started to beat fast and my mind to run wild. How should I approach him? Or what should I tell him? Before could answer these questions myself Usopp pointed out at me. Ace’s body slightly turned as he turned his head to look at me. He was dressed like the first time I saw them perform, all black with his shirt unbuttoned a bit revelling his muscular chest with his red beam neckless around his neck. Chills ran down all over my body when our gazes locked. His face was unreadable. I finally stood in front of them three, but I couldn’t dare to look at Ace as my shyness took over.

“Where did you go?” Luffy was the first one to speak.

“Toilet.” I shortly replied. My eyes shyly moved to look at Ace as I could feel his eyes on me. A little smile was playing on his lips. Kaya pulled Usopp by the hand for something and Luffy took a step back going back to Zoro.

“You know I don’t bite, doll.” Ace took a step towards me and leaded closer to my ear so I could hear him. Even with high heels on he was still taller than me and I had to look up to meet his eyes. I gave him a playful eyeroll.

“I-I just didn’t expect to see you.” I replied and tried to hide the fact that I got a little nervous seeing him.

“Oh, sorry did you come to see ‘The Ghetto’ tonight? They cancelled so we had to take over.” He joked with me and a big grin spread over his face. I chuckled and pushed his chest playfully to get away from me.

“I thought I won’t see you until after you perform.” I said.

“I got bored and came to say ‘hi’ to Luffy.”

“Only to Luffy?” I gasped and dramatically put my hand to my chest. Ace snorted and tilted his head to the stage.

“Well, enjoy yourself, I gotta go.” He said as he turned to leave, but before he did, he leaned closer to my ear again. “You look flawless, doll.” The way he said it with his low and raspy voice, almost making it impossible to hear him over the loud music, made my legs go numb. Before I could reply, he was gone. As I snaped out of the trance I got in and looked at the table praying that no one saw our little interaction. Someone yelled shots and I reached with my hand and quickly grabbed one from the table. The taste of it burning my insides but after this close encounter with Ace I needed one. Koala and Robin joined us soon after and quickly grabbed a drink for themselves.

The guys came on stage after twenty minutes. They were met with loud applauses. From our spot Luffy whistled loudly and Usopp joined him, while Koala was shouting Sabo’s name. My entire focus was on Ace. He looked so confident, his whole presence and aura filling up the space. His charming smile was big as he ran his hand through his hair. He turned his head to look at Sabo and nodded to him that they could start playing.

If things were different, we were young Skinny dipping, having fun, I remember

His voice was melodious filling the air with a soulful melody. Ace might have been hard to read when it came to his emotions, but when he was singing, he was pouring all of them and his feelings into the lyrics.

What a mistake saying the way I felt I'd say my main influence is myself And 'cause I started young, I learned a ton, I didn't run

I knew this was one of the songs which he wrote himself. When we were looking for locations to shoot their music video, I asked Ace if they wrote their songs together or if it was only one of them who did it. He told me that it depended, but mostly it was Law and Sabo who wrote their songs. I got surprised by his response back then as I always thought he had a big input on the songs, but he added that there were some songs he wrote entirely himself, and the ‘Alleyways’ was one of them.

All I wanted would become everything I ever loved, I remember (I left myself in the alleyway)

Loud applauses and cheering came the moment the song finished.

“Hello, everyone. My name is Ace, the guy playing the drums is my brother Sabo, on my left is Law and on my right is Deuce. We are ‘The Neighbourhood’ and we thank you for being here tonight.” Ace spoke on the microphone and another round of cheers came from the crowed. They didn’t waste any time and started to play their next song.

Their set was amazing. People were singing and dancing, enjoying the night. Even Zoro joined and sang some of the lyrics in their songs. When they sang ‘Compass’ Koala and I sang the loudest of our group. The song was written for her after all, but I had my own special moment with it as well. They wrapped their performance with ‘Sweater Weather’ and the entire crowed sang with them the song. After all it was their most popular song.

“Thank you everyone.” Ace said as they finished with their performance. “This was the first time ever we have played live in front of so many people. Again, a big thank you to all of you who support us. Before we leave the stage, we have two important things to announce.” His smile grew big as he was met with loud cheering. “First we are going on a small tour across the country.” Everyone cheered for them in unison, I even felt my heart skipping a beat when Ace announced it, happy that this was happening. “And second... should I actually tell them guys?” He chuckled playfully as he turned to look at the rest of the band. They nodded at him with big smiles on their faces. “We are working on our first official album which means that a lot of new music is coming your way.” The cheering from the people around was nothing compared to the shock faces of all of us, even Koala and Luffy.

“Did you know about this?” Luffy yelled at her with excitement. She shook her head ‘no’ but both hugged and started to jump happily.

“Did you know Robin?” I asked her as she was standing next to me.

“No, I didn’t. But Law did mention to me that they were going to announce something important tonight other than the small tour.” She explained and gave me a big smile.

The guys left the stage, and the DJ took over again. It would take them some time to join us. I felt a little tipsy from the shots and the two glasses of rum and cola that I drank. Knowing that Ace would be here soon I started to get a little nervous so I tapped Nami on the shoulder and told her that I would be back in a second as I needed to go to the toilet. She was too invested in her conversation with Usopp and Sanji that she didn’t pay me much attention.

It took me some time to reach the toilets. There were some girls crying while others were trying to calm them down. Others were drunk complimenting each other – the whole girl club experience. I washed my hands and looked myself in the mirror. My lipstick was gone at this point only the faint line of my lipliner was visible. I sighed as my lipstick was also in my coat. One girl saw my struggle and offered me her lipstick, but I politely declined. I quickly fixed my hair a bit and left the bathroom. Sudden thirst for water hit me and before I return to our table I went to the bar. I waited around ten minutes until it was my turn to order.

“Hey, can I just have a glass of water?” I yelled at the bartender so she could hear me over the loud music. She nodded and handed me a glass filed up with cold water. I thanked her and moved to the side, so I didn’t hold the queue. Putting the glass down on the bar counter I felt someone behind me. I turned around and the guy from earlier was standing there with two glasses filled up with some drink.

“I saw you again I couldn’t resist the urge to buy you drink. Have been admiring you the whole night so I’ve noticed you drink rum and coke.” He smiled and extended his hand offering me the drink.

“Ha, oh, thanks.” I grabbed the drink as I didn’t want to offend him. The creepy vibes this guy was giving me were growing with every passing second.

“Cheers then.” He raised his glass and clicked it with mine, taking a sip from his. I just gave him a little smile not wanting to take a sip of the drink. “Why aren’t you drinking? You know when you give a cheer you take a sip of the drink.” He came closer to me and yelled so I could hear him better over the loud music. I laughed awkwardly and took a small sip of the drink, hoping that after this he would leave me alone.

“Thank you for the drink, but I have to go to my friends.” I tried to be as polite as possible, but he held me by the shoulder before I had the chance to leave.

“Oh, please at least finish your drink with me here and then I promise if you still find me annoying, I won’t bother you again.” His tone was pleading. “I promise, I’m not some bad guy, I just think you are very beautiful, and I want to talk with you.” I gave him a doubtful look at first and then sighed and nodded. Maybe I was wrong and judging too fast, he might be a good guy after all. I planned to finish the drink fast so I could go back to Nami and the guys. Ace would be there soon, he might be already there as well, and I wanted to speak and congratulate him.

The guy whose name I didn’t catch because of the music started to talk and I was nodding the entire time while sipping on the drink. He asked me questions like if I had a boyfriend and who I was here with to which I answered quick. I finished with the drink and tried to excuse myself, but he stopped me again.

“Please, am I such a bad company? Just give me five more minutes.” At this point I felt bad as I didn’t want to be rude, I was simply not interested in him. I nodded and promised myself it was the last five minutes I was giving him.

I wasn’t sure if it was the fact that it was crowded with people around the bar or the sudden quickened heartbeat, but a heatwave hit me out of nowhere. I started to wave my hand in front of my face trying to get some cold air in my face.

“Hey, are you okay?” The guy asked me with concern written over his face. I tried to speak but nothing came out. “Do you want to go outside? You seemed to need some fresh air.” He didn’t even wait for my response as he wrapped his arm around my shoulders and started to walk me through the crowed.

“N-no, s-stop.” I tried to protest but my words were stumbling. My mouth became extremely dry, and I have never felt such thirst in my life. “I-I want-t to g-go... m-y f-friends... A-Ace...” I tried to push the guy away, but he only tightened his grip around me. I turned my head at the direction where the VIP section was supposed to be, but my vision started to get blurry as I was losing my focus.

“Shh, it’s okay I will get you back to your friends.” The guy said. “We just going to have some fun first.” He whispered in my ear. My mind barely processed what he said the only thing I could feel was the cold air hitting my face and body. Everything around me was blurred and my body felt numb. My heart was beating so fast I was afraid it might explode any second now. The feeling of something bad that was about to happen took over me, but I couldn’t fight or say something. All I could feel right now was confusion and dizziness. With every taken step the numbness in my body was growing. At some point I lost track of time. I heard a voice which sounded so familiar, but I couldn’t recognise whose it was. I only felt being let go off as the guy no longer had his arms wrapped around me and I had to keep my own balance. Keeping my eyes open became impossible, I just felt being pulled into something before darkness took over me.

After the guys were done with the performance Ace left the stage first. The only thing he wanted to do right now was to take a smoke and be in some quite place for a few minutes. The good thing was that behind the club’s stage was a door which was leading to the back entrance to an empty alley. His hands were shaking a bit from the adrenalin he felt while on stage as he opened a new pack of cigarettes.

‘The set went well, it could have been better, but it went well.’ Ace was thinking to himself while lighting up a cigarette. He took a long puff of it, closing his eyes and leaning on the wall. There were a few good things that happened tonight – first the performance went well, which was something he was rarely satisfied with; second was the fact that he didn’t get any narcolepsy attack during it, as this was something that always bothered him, especially tonight. They have never performed around so many people. The max so far had been hundred something, but tonight there were almost five hundred people, which was five times more than usual. And third – (Y/N) was there. She was their all dolled up, watching him perform. Ace wondered if she liked the performance. He glanced at her a few times while he was singing, and he saw her having fun singing along with the rest of the group. Last time he saw her was like a month ago or so, he wasn’t sure. He thought that it was going to be enough time to get rid of the effect she had on him, but he was wrong. Not like she ever escaped his mind during that time. Especially after she called him crying yesterday, and the urge that took over him to do something to make her feel better. The thought of her being in distress about something let alone crying was making him feel so uncomfortable and bothered. He hated that feeling. He never felt like that toward anyone, any girl before, and he couldn’t explain to himself why he was feeling this way towards her.

Three cigarettes later, Ace took a deep breath and went back inside. He quickly made his way towards the section Luffy and the rest of his bandmates were now. Everyone cheered when they saw him and Luffy went to high five his brother.

“Why didn’t you guys tell me about the album?” He yelled at him and Sabo.

“We wanted to be surprised for everyone.” Sabo explained. Koala was wrapped in his arms, and he pulled her even closer to him. Ace snorted and looked around. Everyone was there except (Y/N).

“Yo, Luffy.” Ace grabbed Luffy by the shoulder pulling him closer to whisper in his ear. “Where is (Y/N)?” Luffy smirked as he heard his brother asking for her. He might have been dumb, but Luffy wasn’t blind. These two might deny anything but something was obviously happening between them. He was about to joke with Ace when he realised he hasn’t seen her in a while.

“Nami.” Luffy yelled grabbing Nami’s attention. She came closer to them with a questioning look. “Have you seen (Y/N)?” Luffy asked her as he thought she might know where (Y/N) went. Nami’s eyes widen as she looked at her phone, noticing that it has been at least thirty minutes since you have gone to the bathroom.

“She said she was going to the toilet, but it has been at least half an hour.” Nami said and looked a little concerned at Ace and Luffy. “I will go and look for her.” She tried to pass between them two, but Ace stopped her.

“You are drunk. Stay here, I will go look for her.” Ace sighed. “Also don’t you girls go together to the toilets?” He chuckled at Nami before turning away.

“Ace.” Luffy called after him. “Should I come with you?” The place was big it would be easier if they both searcher for her, but Ace waved his hand dismissively, knowing that it wouldn’t take him long to find you.

He went to look straight to the toilets, maybe there was a long queue. Of course, he couldn’t get in the ladies’ bathroom, but he stopped some girls that were going out of it, asking if they saw her by describing how she looked. None of them have seen anyone described as you inside so he just thanked them and left the bathroom’s hall. He doubted that you would be on the dancefloor, especially alone. Ace made his way to the bar, observing everywhere and everyone carefully to see if he could spot you. His height was in advantage to him but still no luck. He sighed annoyed but also concern started to build up in him. What if something happened to you? You wouldn’t left without telling anyone. He stayed on one spot for a second with his hands place on his hips as he was slowly looking around. His eyes glanced at the entrance/exit hall when for a brief second just before disappearing behind the wall there, something silver and sparkling caught his eye. Ace decided to follow his gut and quickly started to walk towards the hall. He had to push his way a little harder around people as his instinct was telling him that something was not oaky.

When he finally made his way outside it took him a second to spot her and for his blood to started boiling. She was almost a street away, but he could recognise her even if she was standing miles away. His hands tightened into fists and jaw clenched when he saw some guy dragging her with him with his filthy hands roaming all over her body. Ace waisted no more seconds and ran towards her and the man catching up with them in no time.

“If I were you, I would let her go.” His voice was as sharp as knife. Now that he was this close to them, taking look at (Y/N)’s almost numb body and seeing the disorientation in her eyes which she was barley keeping open, he was ready to kill the guy on the spot.

“Fuck off, man. She is little tipsy that is all.” The guy spat at Ace.

The things that unfollowed after were so fast, if someone was looking and if they blinked, they could have missed what happened. The moment these words left the guy’s mouth Ace stopped thinking, he just started to punch. The guy didn’t even have the time to react when Ace landed his first punch on his face, breaking his jaw and making the guy let her go as he couldn’t bare the ache he felt. But Ace didn’t stop there as he landed another punch on the guy’s face. Bringing him on the ground as he stared to lend punch after punch.

 He couldn’t remember the last time he had felt such rage, he wasn’t just seeing red, Ace wasn’t seeing at all. This had only happened once before, and it was when Luffy came all beaten up and stabbed under his eyes after school one day when he was twelve. Both, Ace and Sabo found the guy who did that to their little brother and gave him a good lesson. If it wasn’t for Sabo to pull Ace back that time, he was probably going to kill the guy. Instead, he left him almost disabled, for which Ace was sued to pay him indemnification for ten years in a roll. But this time Sabo wasn’t there, no one was. The guy’s face was deformed at this point until he heard (Y/N)’s voice. He stopped immediately and looked at her. She was shaking uncontrollably, and her eyes were barely open. Ace jumped on his feet as fast as he could just on time to catch her before she hit the ground.

“No, no, no, doll.” He gently tapped her cheek, trying to wake her up. His knuckles were covered in blood. Kneeling with her on the ground while holding her body, Ace pulled out his phone and dialled emergency. The moment they picked up he explained the situation and gave the address. The ambulance was supposed to come any minute now. Ace could hear someone running behind him. He turned to look over his shoulder and saw Luffy and Zoro running towards him with the security as well.

“A-Ace...” Luffy’s eyes widen at the sight in front of him. “What happened?” Everyone was stunned. No one knew what to say or do at the scene in front of them. Even Luffy and Zoro who had many street fights behind their backs had never saw such brutal view. One of the club’s guards even threw up when he looked at the guy’s face who was laying on the ground coughing blood.

“This piece of shit drugged her.” Ace spat still furious. “This is what happened.” He looked at his brother in the eyes.

“We need to call the police and you sir will be in trouble.” Said the other security as he pulled up his phone, but it was snatched quickly from his hand and crushed on the ground by Zoro.

“You take your weak friend, and you walk off, before you follow this guy’s fate, okay?” Zoro’s voice was deep, his eyes were filled with warning for the guards to just walk off and let them deal with the situation. “You better go and keep the wandering eyes away.” He nodded with his head towards the direction of the club where people started to gather with wondering eyes. The security decided to listen to Zoro and quickly went back to the club. The ambulance siren could be heard coming from around the corner.

“Luffy.” Ace said as he got up on his feet with (Y/N) in his arms. “Call Shanks.”

Shanks came out of the hospital room and looked at Ace with stern eyes. He drew in a deep breath before he sighed.

“Thank you, Ace.” He said as he patted Ace on the shoulder.

“How is she?” Ace asked, his voice low. He looked at the window from which he could see (Y/N) laying on the hospital bed.

“She will be okay once they clean her blood. Do you know how it happened?” Shanks glanced at Ace as he was rubbing his temples.

“No, no one knows. I just went looking for her, as the last thing she said to someone was to Nami that she was going to the toilet.” Ace said not moving his eyes from (Y/N). It pained him seeing her in such state. And he was mad at his brother’s friends. How could neither of the girls go with her? Why did she go alone in a first place? How she even ended up drugged by this guy? Didn’t she know to not accept drinks from strangers? Ace was mad at her as well. Because if he didn’t catch the glimpse of her sparkling skirt in that second before she left the club, he didn’t want to think of the things that could of happen to her. His fist clenched, he should have killed that man right there on the spot. Instead, he was still breathing somewhere, and the broken jaw and nose wasn’t enough for a payback.

“Ace.” Shanks called out his name, taking him out of his thoughts. “You can go home. I’m here so she is safe.” Ace side-eyed Shanks not moving from his spot. “And don’t worry no case will be open or anyone would find out that you beat this piece of shit up. I have taken care of it.” This was the last thing Ace was worried about right now.

“Still into the shady business, Shanks?” Ace snorted turning his head to look at Shanks.

“You are not the one to speak.” Shanks bit back.

“I’ve been clean for the past two years now.” Ace’s voice was filled with mockery.

“Ha, you have always been ballsy Ace, but don’t push your luck.” Shanks came closer to Ace. Their height being the same, they looked at the other with too much ego and pride. “Look, Ace. You are not a bad kid, and you know I like you and I would cover for you no matter what...” Shanks took a step back as he didn’t want to fight with Ace as he meant it when he said that he liked Ace as a person. He knew the kid for a long time, and he had a lot of good qualities. “But she is my niece, and you are a player. Whatever is going between you two you better cut it before you get her heartbroken.”

“Nothing is happening, Shanks.” Ace responded as he crossed his arms over his chest. “And I’m not leaving until she wakes up.” This was the last thing Ace said to Shanks as he turned to face the window again. He was tired but he wasn’t going to leave until (Y/N) opened her pretty eyes.

“You are as stubborn as he was...” Shanks knew how these words would affect Ace. He saw the way his jaw clenched, and his muscles flexed under his shirt, but Ace didn’t say anything. Instead, he ignored him, pretending like he heard nothing. Pretending like he didn’t know who Shanks was comparing him to.

END NOTE: I hope you guys liked the chapter and if you did feel free to leave your comments about how it made you feel as I was a little afraid how this chapter might unfold and if this type of stuffs are okay with you to read. I promise there will be no more such 'drugged' scenario, but I can guarantee you that everything that I write has logic behind it for the upcoming events in the story. I also thought it was time for Reader to realise her feelings for Ace, and the whole cake part came up so unexpectedly in my mind I really hope you enjoyed it ♡ Like, comment or reblog if you liked it, and as always A BIG THANK YOU TO ALL OF YOU WHO READ IT ♡

writing, format & dividers © eand47 fanart @a_phu14 on IG ©eand47, do not copy or plagiarise my work.

[crystalwitch222]

~Life Update~

First of all I want to say thank you to everyone that follows my ADHD Soul blog and thank you to everyone that follows my gaming content content I appreciate all the support ❤️

Here’s an update on life..animal job didn’t work out it didn’t help the depressive slump I’ve been in. The way they trained wasn’t great and it’s the fact that there was no actual manager just a bunch of young ppl working there. For learning some things my type of brain half ass training doesn’t work for me I need hands on learning or might need a little extra to learn something but once I learn whatever sometimes I exceed expectations and try to be perfectionist. So losing job was a real let down for me. I sometimes wonder if I should’ve mentioned the ADHD thing but would it really hurt or help me and sometimes I wonder if I should get a letter or something from my doctor that could protect me from being let go or certain treatment at work. So that job ended in March/February. It wasn’t till December I decided to give another job a chance I actually was hired on the spot it was another shoe store I was so excited but everything wasn’t as it seemed I was supposed to be hired as full time and then apparently it turned it I wasn’t. They are weird about taking breaks sometimes like most places I’ve worked you are required to take a 30 min lunch and a 10/ 15 min small break if you work 5 or more hours even working just 4 gets you 10/15 mins. If it’s really busy some managers prefer you to eat while working. Like no sorry sometimes ppl need to sit down like we ac right now either. This company the way things are ran is more competitive and just different from the last shoe store I worked at We got a new store manager just seems colder more old school. It just makes me miss my old shoe store even more…

My old shoe store job had closed during covid. We all never officially everyone never said goodbye to each other and It was at a new location I had been at for about 6 months and didn’t accomplish everything I wanted to/ dealing with mean girl type of drama & as still processing the fact that I lost my original store I started out at I originally didn’t want to relocate and stop being the assistant manager. We lost another store manager ( losing the first one was real hard for me too ) so they thought it was best to move me to a more heavy volume store to be a sales lead manager. I felt like my time was cut short as an ASM and I felt like I wasn’t always taken seriously and their communication sucked at the end and tbh when I look back on it I was younger I could’ve used a little more training with some things but still their communication could’ve been better talking goes both ways. I’ll talk more about it another time.

After the shoe store company closed my little fun nameless part time job became my main job.. I fought through bs to became a supervisor at a new high volume location I knew store manager for a long time worked with him at multiple locations I even once called him my friend. Working there turned into a nightmare toxic work environment bc the assistant manager has it out for me but tbh she ends up having a problem with everyone there was always something wrong.. Then there was other stuff but more of that later.. yes I told my store manager after holidays that I wanted to be done but I was upset I thought he was my friend is that no reason to ever call or text an employee when they took a leave of absence when they get sick with covid ? No one ever reached out to me to see how I was doing so I thought they didn’t want me to come back so I never went back and a few months later my store manager who I thought was my friend blocked me on Snapchat. I’m still trying to live with my decision that I never reached out and still debating if I ever will… I wonder if I was put as fired and not rehire able.. i was great at my job I really loved the job itself just not the location in the end.. then sometimes I do miss my friend… who was my store manager..this was the first ever place to really inspire to be a manager run a place have a business this was the first place I wanted to be a manager at. For months I thought about texting him but I couldn’t do it I don’t know why or how I became this way but it got to a point at work where I stopped texting my manager every time there was a problem it just got tiring.

So it’s been a rocky road with work places every job has its negatives and not every job will have bad management. So all that is kinda what lead to my slump along with at the beginning of it all I had a condition that acting up again but I deal with it the best I can with diet and supplements. It’s called IC/PBS ( interstitial Cystitis / painful bladder syndrome ) on top that I think have OAB 😭

So here am I figuring out what to do next no health insurance might be diabetic

Right after leaving nameless job I got back into gaming started giving streaming a try and start making gaming content I’m still doing it but it can only distract me so much now and bring me so happiness but I’ll keep doing it bc I know there are ppl that enjoy my content and if it brings somebody some sort of joy that that makes me happy too. Who knows maybe one of my videos will blow up someday one of them once got 50k views. At one point I was streaming everyday I’ll possibly get back to that we”ll see. Also trying to get back into writing and blogging more check out my ADHD Soul blogs on Tumblr and Reddit . Also enjoy photography and started wire wrapping crystals thinking about possibly selling some. Check out my Instagram to see @crystalwitch_22 We”ll see. Thanks for reading.

Follow me if you want on

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[venusguks]

Solace in Seoul

— Pairing : Jeon Jungkook x Fem!Reader (Reader x Kim Taehyung on the side)

— Summary : the falling apart of you and kim taehyung, and the coming together of you and jeon jungkook

— Genre/Warnings : plot driven, angst, smut, fluff, sugar daddy/baby relationship, student/teacher relationship w kth, bsfs2lvrs w jjk, unprotected sex, creampie, degredation, oral (f receiving), jk just wants to love you :(, jk is the absolute sweetest really, spit drinking?, praise ( TW : MENTIONS OF FAMILY ABUSE/BRUISES )

ACT 1. | 134340

The first time you talk to Jeon Jungkook again, your mind is elsewhere, absorbed in the lingering absence of Taehyung.

Spring's gentle breeze carried distant laughter and a faint melody from the music club two floors down. The sky carried drifting clouds, the ocean carried rising tides, and you — You carried the weight of the world on your shoulders.

Or at least it felt like it.

The piles of envelopes concerning last two months’ unpaid bills have been devouring your dinner table and heart alike. After receiving the countless of threatening voicemails from your landlord, you'd be naive not to expect a visit—but opening the door to Mrs. Joomi’s bitter scorn didn’t make you feel any less anxious. Juggling two part time jobs all the while maintaining A’s and B’s was nothing easy to accomplish. Hell, living wasn't even easy, and yet, it was like nothing you did was ever enough.

Grief was your composer and you were her violin—her cruel euphony reverberated through your tears when you sat on the cold kitchen floor last night, sifting between your savings that barely made up one month's rent. On top of your midnight breakdown, your dad decided to come home yesterday out of all days and, well, you know how that goes.

The door clicks open, interrupting you from your trance. You don’t need to turn around to know who it is.

Footsteps pad closer until Taehyung is right next to you. He stuffs his hands in his pockets and leans back against the metal railing, facing the opposite direction. It's quiet at first. You've noticed long ago that your relationship with him was one that was filled with silence. “Somethings bothering you,” He’s the first to break it. Neither of you take your gaze off the cerulean blue sky. “You could tell?”

“Of course I can, angel," his voice is cool, gentle, and it carries you away with the wind. "You dozed off through the whole lecture today."

Shame tinges your cheeks with the faintest pink, “oh... I’m sorry. I was paying attention, really, I was just—"

"Love," he saighs, "you have nothing to be sorry about. You could skip to sleep in the nurse's office for all I care. I'm just worried about you."

“What a good teacher you are,” you smile, a teasing one, but Taehyung chuckles dryly. “Trust me, if I was a good teacher, I wouldn’t be doing this," he sounds apathetic, but that doesn't stop you from frowning. You finally turn to look at him, his curls of deep brown swaying. “Taehyung... please don’t say that. You’re an amazing teacher, everyone knows it.”

You hoped he knew how genuine you were. God, you hoped to the moon he knew just how good he was. Taehyung may have already been admired for his captivating smile and his nonchalant energy, but everyone respected him for so much more. He was the type of teacher everyone wanted—the cause of counselor’s headaches every autumn for receiving heaps of transfer requests. Even parents and teachers fawned over him, baffled to see the passing rate in math tests accumulate over the years. It hurt that he didn't see that, and it hurt more knowing he didn't think he was respectable because of you.

The man tilts his head to look at you, smiling softly. “You know I’m only joking, doll.”

“Whether you're joking or not, I still... it just worries me when you talk like that,” you pause, "....do you really feel that way?" Do you really regret this?

Taehyung sighs, and the jeweled rings adorning his fingers are cold against your skin as he tucked loose strands of hair behind your ear. “Worrying is my job, angel, so tell me what's been on your mind instead."

If Taehyung noticed the hurt in your eyes, he chose to ignore it. He always did this. You got it, really, you did. There were boundaries for these sorts of relationships. One step closer would bring him one step back, which was why you never probed him any time he disregarded your questions. But a selfish part of you still felt it was a bit unfair, a bit painful to feel him slip away, to realize he was never there in the first place.

It was strange, how he made you feel. His thumb grazed your lips, his breath was light on your skin—if you concentrated hard enough, you swear you could hear his heart beat. He was only inches away.

So why did he feel so far?

Taehyung was your your lighthouse, your harbor, your shore. Through the snowy December nights where his fingers traced sensuous lines down your bare stomach, to the Spring showers of March where his cold lips brushed your inner thigh—Taehyung had always been your solace.

You knew tangling in sexual affairs with your teacher in return for sealed envelopes was wrong, but how could something so sinful feel so heavenly? The unspoken acts committed underneath draped curtains and moonlight's veil felt too dear to you to be called impure. By your sixth rendezvous, you started to wish the intimacy you shared with him could go beyond silk sheets and star speckled lust.

“I want you to confide in me too,” you said one night under the reluctant shadows of warmly lit candles. “I want to help you too, Taehyung. Please, let me help you.” You could tell he's been agitated the whole week, but you'd been too afraid to ask, afraid of him pushing you away. You didn't know where your courage came from then, all that you wished to be more than a distraction. “I don’t need you to help me," Taehyung growled, and you let out a muffled whimper when he rolled your clit with his tongue, your thighs trembling as you reached for his soft curls. "B-But I care a-about—ahn!" You arched your back as he inserted a finger inside of you, curling into your sweet spot with frightening accuracy. "Don’t need you any way else other than this, doll. Just be good and silent for me." That morning, you woke up to a bed void of the man you loved; a white envelope being the only remnant of that night.

You sighed as you recalled that memory, brushing your own fingers over his, tracing the metal bristles of his rings. “Its nothing."

“Don’t say that, angel. I know it’s not nothing."

“Really, Taehyung, i’m fine. Just stressed is all.”

“Stressed...as in financially?” Your sudden tenseness affirms his assumption, making him sigh. "You could've just told me earlier, angel. Tell me how much you need." A repulsing mixture of shame and self resentment brews in your chest, hardening like bitter dalgona. Dirty, despite money sparking your secret arrangement from the very beginning, that’s how you felt every time it was ever brought up. “Hey, look at me doll," as if reading your thoughts, Taehyung gently draws your face close to his with two hands cupping your cheeks, noses barely brushing. “Don’t ever feel guilty about this. Just treat it as an early birthday present, yeah?"

You couldn't help but frowning, your hands roaming the access of his collarbone. "You already do so much for me, Taehyung...I just...I-I feel bad." You failed to notice how rigid he became then, how his eyebrows dipped with evident frustration. "Y/n, you know that—"

Click!

Before you even realize it, you and Taehyung are off each other. When the blue, paint-scraped door opens, sleeked shoes and lively banter are welcomed by two students, diminishing with a glance at the both of you. "Ah, Mr. Kim, there you are! I was looking all over for you. What are you doing here?" A girl's eyes shift from you to the chestnut haired man. Taehyung easy recollects himself as he pats your shoulder, wearing a professional grin. "I stumbled into y/n here, was just giving her some advice but we’ve finished. What did you need me for?”

"Oh...well, about finals week..." You almost let out a sigh of relief as they continued their conversation, but your breath is instantly caught in your throat when your gaze flickers to the boy right next to her.

You were too startled by the sudden interruption that you haven’t completely processed his presence. You almost wish you hadn’t though, now that his doe, big brown eyes mirror your own.

Jungkook was unmoving, and you could've guessed he was conflicted—whether to say hi or to stay silent. Even if you were in the same grade, it was rare to see his face among the carbon copied uniforms. Class C—1 and C—4 were the furthest from each other, and with being the student council event coordinator, you were either neck deep in documents or tucked in the seclusions of the rooftop.

But due to the proud morning announcements and the hushed whispers of admiration, Jungkook never really strayed too far from your orbit. Referred to as the school's golden boy, Jungkook was loved by everyone. He was friends with members from the fashion department to the swim team to the gardening club—Hell, even the occult club. Teachers and students alike wore lenses of adoration for their school’s pride and joy while you tried your best to look away. He may have been in your orbit, but you were two different worlds, encapsulated by the universe but separated by light years of meteors and stars. Jungkook was a nameless planet to you, as you were to him. You never brought yourself to think about it—never had the time for anyway, so seeing him there, floating with the drifting clouds, even you felt a tad bit shaken.

“—kook...Jungkook, hey, Jungkook! I’m gonna go get my assignment with Mr. Kim. Come with?” He blinks profusely, averting his attention from you to the girl wearing raised brows. “Uh, no thank you. Breaks gonna end soon anyways, I think I’ll stay up here. See you after school though?”

“After school,” she clicks her tongue, waving before disappearing down the stairs. Taehyung lingers for a second longer, his eyes flickering to you. “Well I’ll see you next period, Jeon. Bye, y/n." With that, the door shuts behind them, welcoming an air of awkward silence.

Jungkook is the first to clear his throat, “hi, its been awhile," his earrings dangled with his every nervous movement, and you wondered when he'd gotten all his piercings. "Y-Yeah, its been awhile..." you repeat densely as you watch him take the spot Taehyung left, respecting a distance but not standing too far away. He rests his forearms on the metal railing, his elbow barely brushing yours. “Do you usually come up here?"

"Only during lunch."

He hums, "that explains why I never see you."

You frown, both in curiosity and confusion. "You look for me?"

“I-I don’t!” He sputters too quickly. “I just...its just an observation. We’re in the same year after all, and you’re never with the rest of the student council members.” Your brows raise in amusement, “that's surprising.”

“What is?”

“I didn’t think you remembered my name—honestly didn’t think you even remembered I existed.”

“Of course I remember,” he chuckles, “we’ve been friends for 17 years. How could I forget?”

“14 years,” you reminded softly, “we’ve been friends for 14 years.”

A star in Jungkook’s eyes must have died out when you smiled sadly at him. “Oh...right...” he rubs the nape of his neck, sighing. “This is strange, isn’t it?”

“Yeah,” you agree, “strange.” And there it is again. Spring’s momentary silence. You watch as the sun slowly disappears behind sailing clouds. Talking to Jungkook, being alone next to him, was maybe even a little bit uncomfortable. After all, you guys had so much history—where do those film rolls of sun seeped memories go? It was as if they floated all around you, tying your fingers together like the red string of fate. After all those years of suppressing them, it was intoxicating, adamant to be remembered.

“This reminds me of middle school,” Jungkook brings your head back from the sky. “In 5th grade, the highest we could go was at the top of the garden shed. We spent all our breaks there, staring at clouds, complaining about Mr. Lim being too grouchy, or wondering where we'd go after school—what ice cream flavor we’d get at the convenience store. Do you remember?”

"Of course I do," despite yourself, your heart softens to the recollection. It was your secret hiding spot, blocked by the slant of the roof and the trees barricading the other side. The sky, wind, and Jungkook had been your only escape from the problem solving in math and the problem solving you had to do on your own when you were 10, wondering what the budget for that week's grocery would be. “We thought we were so cool, that we were on top of the world.”

“Correction, you thought you were so cool. You even promised to show me your own space ship, remember?”

“God, please don’t,” you groan, covering your face with your palms. You knew exactly where this was going, and you guessed Jungkook still knew exactly how to embarrass you. “You told me you were a space—“

“—adventurer!” You beamed a toothy grin, two hands proudly on your hips. Jungkook looked up at you with sparkling eyes, pupils as large as beloved full moons. “You mean...an astronaut?”

Your smile immediately drops into a disappointed frown. You demanded upmost reverence, so you didn’t really appreciate it when he questioned you. “No, no. Not an astronaut. A space adventure. s-p-a-c-e a-d-v-e-n-c-h-u-r-r. Gosh, Kookie. If you want me to bring you along in my journeys, you have to keep up.” Jungkook only nodded, trying his best to stifle a chuckle. He won the 3rd grade spelling bee, so he was at least 85% confident the word adventurer didn't have a 'ch' in it.

He decided to let it go though. He knew—the same way he knew that you’d certainly cry if he corrected you—that you were afraid of heights. If it took weeks to encourage you to finally climb a roof, he was the certain you wouldn’t be able to handle the height of the galaxy. But then again, he always had a soft spot for you. “I’m building a space ship right now actually! Its called the Bon Voyage. When it's finished, I’m going to Pluto. You won’t believe how big space is. There are strawberries there!"

Jungkook’s eyes widened at your silly declaration, and even then, he felt sad. He knew that being a space adventurer—being able to maneuver gravity and time on your own whims—was only an innocent imagination of escapism, but still. Every single time you’d flinch when a hand was brought up near you, every time you’d pull on your jacket despite it being hot, he wished your imagination could be real. Wished he could make it real for you—keep you safe from earth and all your troubles.

“I’d like to see the strawberries.. with you,” Jungkook smiled softly. You grinned, and it was the most precious thing Jungkook saw as you stuck your pinky finger out. “Then it’s settled, I’m taking you with me.”

“To pluto?” He wrapped his small finger with yours, and you sealed it with your thumbs pressed against each other's. “To pluto!”

Jungkook was in a fit of laughter, and despite burying your face further into your hands, you couldn't help but smile. “I can’t believe you knew I was lying. God, I must’ve looked like a total idiot.” His elbows were pressed against yours now, sending a surge of warmth to your heart at the familiar skin ship. Jungkook must have not noticed, for he only kept giggling, and you certainly wouldn't bring it up. “It was cute, really. The strawberries and everything. It was really cute.”

"Whatever, Jungkook," you rolled your eyes, and uncovering your eyes, you looked at him. Truly looked at him this time. His smooth, unwrinkled uniform. His hair that grew over time, kissing past his eyelashes and swaying with the wind. The tiny mole peeking under his bottom lip, the familiar scrunch of his nose as he grinned widely. The speckled brown of his eyes were so warm, almost dreamlike against the golden sun. Under long years of an uncalled contact, of an untouched hand, of a voiceless wonder—‘how have you been?’ ‘what was on your mind today?’—you saw the Jungkook you once knew, your dearest friend. And with his smile, you found your heart aching and full at the same time.

ringggggg!

The alarm jolts the both of you, severing spring’s heartbeat as loud chatter and footsteps disrupt the moment from open windows.

You only stare at each other for a brief second before you give a half smile, “that's the bell, we should go.” Without waiting for an answer, you followed the pace of the rest of school, but before you could take a step down the staircase, Jungkook takes your hand. His grip isn’t tight or rough. Its gentle, reluctant. You turn around, and the sun is behind him, kissing the back of his head with its golden, stray flakes.

"What is it?" You furrowed your brows. “I...its just..." It takes a moment before Jungkook speaks, cheeks tinged with a faint red. "Y/n I, I miss—”

“Jungkook,” you interrupt in masked panic, averting your eyes as you pulled your hand back. In truth, you were scared. Finals week would be soon and you didn’t think you could handle any more mental strain than you already had, especially not with him. “I-I think we’re going to be late.” Jungkook eyes widen for a second, stricken with dejection. He mumbles, “right...”

You don’t dare to look at him, turning away, you say, “it was nice talking to you again. Bye, Jungkook.”

ACT 2. | DAYTIME SHOOTING STAR

The second time you see Jungkook again, the spring showers are sharp against your skin. You had just gotten off from your 6 hour shift, and where the sunset hues of timid pink and vibrant yellow were supposed to be, the overcast sky was instead. It's been about 30 minutes since you clocked off, but you knew your dad was home, so you decided to take the long way back.

It didn't matter that you were a blur of blue walking in grey tainted streets. Didn’t matter that the downpour soaked your clothes or that cars occasionally splashed you with murky road puddles. You could be anywhere, and anywhere would be better than where your dad was.

Droplets drooped down your eyelashes, dribbling down onto your phone. It’s screen illuminated your color drained face. You stared at Taehyung’s contact, biting your lip nervously.

YOU :

hey taehyung, can i come over? if that's possible of course|

hey taehyung, can i come over? i|

hey taehy/

.../

i need you|

Your thumb hovered over the tempting, blue send button. Press it, Y/n. Just press it. (But would he mind?) He said it was okay to ask for help. (But... what if he's busy right now?) It's okay to ask. (You'd just be bothering him. If you're too needy, he'll push you away, you know that.) Just press the damned—

“Y/n!” A hand reaches your back, and although it was a mere brush, you yelp in alarm, instantly stumbling back. When you're sure you're about to be submerged into a puddle, a hand firmly grasps your forearm, steadying you as the said person pulls you closer to them. The rain stops—or rather, patters against an umbrella now hovering over you. Your eyes flutter from the hand holding you to the hand holding the umbrella handle, and lastly, the holder.

“Sorry, I didn’t mean to scare you,” Jungkook half laughs. When you don’t reply, your mouth only agape, he adds, “are you okay?” It takes you a moment before you nod. You were close, as close two people could be under a small umbrella (or was it because Jungkook has gotten really big?), so you take a step back. But before you could feel even one raindrop on your face again, Jungkook pulls you back into him, “I don’t want you getting sick, y/n.”

“I’m already soaked anyways,” you frown, but he only disregards you. “Where are you heading?”

“Nowhere.”

When his brows threatened to crease, you add, “Got off work a few minutes ago, I was just taking a stroll.” Jungkook opened his mouth, and you were sure he was going to say something in the lines of, “in the rain? have you gone mad?” But to your surprise, he doesn’t. Instead, his fingers intertwine with yours. “My homes not far. Come with me?”

"Your...home?” You repeat dumbly, disregarding how warm his hand was—how you missed it, how right it felt in yours. “Yeah, if thats okay with you. If not, then mind if I walked with you?” You pause, taking in Jungkook’s attire. What he was doing in a button down, black trousers, and sleek shoes, you didn’t know—but his dry state save for the few droplets on his clothes meant that he'd much rather prefer to be under a roof. You weren’t sure if he was going to take no for an answer, and being under shelter did sound pleasant. At least, more pleasant than being in wet socks. “Okay,” you say, “take me home.”

When you arrive, you're relieved to discover Mr. and Mrs. Jeon are on a business trip. You missed the Jeons, truly—they were the only family you’ve ever known, but you didn’t think you were ready to see them again.

You remembered Jungkook’s house being an absolute palace when you were a child—modernized with elegance adorned with a scenic garden and a clean landscape—but it still didn’t fail to leave your jaw agape. Expansive was always an understatement. “Here, get changed,” Jungkook hands a towel, an oversized sweater and sweatpants, and of course, fuzzy socks. You only nodded as he led you through the familiar halls to his room. “Just call for me when you’re done, kay?”

“Mm,” you mumbled, still in a daze even after he left. Bittersweet nostalgia filled your nostrils with the scent of vanilla and almonds, a soy candle he still apparently loves. It's only been three years since you’ve last set foot on his grey, hardwood floors, but you still noticed the subtle changes. Instead of pokemon action figures—burnished, golden trophies filled his glass shelves. They were only a few Jungkook was really proud of, otherwise his room would be brimmed with his accomplishments.

Picture perfect polaroids capturing euphoric memories and cheerful grins scattered Jungkook's walls. A refined stereo set replaced the bright blue boom box of your childhood, the one covered with doraemon stickers and scratches. Memories of 4th grades' January flooded your mind, when the blandness of the month was disrupted with color as the two of you jammed to Ego by JHOPE on repeat. Jungkook may have added and taken a few things out, but you found anchor in what stayed the same. His plants that hung from the ceiling were still there, ivies draped with growth over the past years. Kim Namjoon, Jungkook’s long time idol, smiled from a framed poster on his wall. Everything was still polished with his neatness, a habit you had always commended him for.

As you dried your damp hair, a photo frame catches your eye, sitting on the side of his bookshelf. Your breath catches in your throat. You slowly walk to the dainty item, painted white and blue to resemble noon skies. In the corner of the frame ignited a bright, pale limerence. Sparks of vivid blue and tangerine whipped through the wooden confines. You felt your heart thump against your chest. It was a—

"Daytime shooting star!" You gleamed, holding a paint brush into the sky, the handle rough from years of dried paint. It was a hot summer day, a few weeks after the end of seventh grade. Cicadas sung adamant songs through Jungkook's cracked open window as the two of you sat on his floor, blanketed with a fuzzy iron man carpet.

He looked at you quizzically, "a daytime shooting star?" As far as Jungkook knew, there was no such thing. "Yeah," you chirp. "That's you, Kook. You're my daytime shooting star." Jungkook nearly dropped his paint brush then, risking his favorite carpet as he looked at you, wide eyed with stun. You were wearing his t-shirt as per usual, your face smudged with blue paint and an innocent smile. Jungkook hated you for it.

It was always your choice of words—my Jungkook, my Kook, my Kookie, and now, my daytime shooting star—that he swore would be the death of him every single time. He didn't even know what you meant, but he didn't care, because being called yours was enough to kill him.

"Th-Thats stupid," he mumbled as he looked away, a futile attempt to hide his burning cheeks. "That doesn't even make sense." When the air shifted to silence, Jungkook immediately regretted his words. He quickly turned back around, fearing he accidentally hurt your feelings due to his own fluster. Maybe that was when Jungkook realized you really had grown up since the 6th grade, because this time, tears didn't drip down your cheeks. Instead, your eyes were curious and doe as you tilted your head to your side. "Does it matter?"

"What?

“A lot of things don’t make sense, but does it have to matter?” You frowned.

“I-I don’t—”

“I like you a lot, Kook,” and though you weren't at the least bit shy saying so, Jungkook’s emotions exploded everywhere. “I don’t think you need reasons to like someone, but you’re my daytime shooting star, Kook, and that's my reason. Can't I just like you? Does it...does it have to make sense?”

It felt like light years as Jungkook stared, red as he looked into the golden specks of your eyes, glinting from the blazing sun. “I-I don't know,” he gulped, his voice small. He was going to leave it at that at first. He didn't know what to say—what he could say. His mind was as clumsy and berserk as a deflating balloon to your previous words, but when he saw your sullen eyes and mopey pout, he felt an inadvertent panic in his gut.

His eyes shifted to his boom box. Etched on the side of the speaker was Doraemon, giving him a childish wink and thumbs up. Jungkook groaned in annoyance and you looked up, curious as he scratched the back of his head. "M-maybe we could...see it," he mumbled, barely grumbling, but your heart leapt with every syllable of his words. "Someday, together. The—"

“Daytime shooting star.”

You jumped, instantly whirling around to see Jungkook leaned against the door frame with his arms crossed over his torso. His eyes were soft, as if his gaze itself caressed you. “Y-You...” your thumb grazed the flimsy wood. “You still have this.”

“Yeah, and I still don’t have a photo,” he chuckled, making his way towards you. “14 years of friendship and you’d think we’d finally have a perfect picture to put in the frame.” It was pretty silly now that you thought about it. Despite spending a whole summer’s day decorating the item with childlike ambivalence, you never allowed Jungkook to slide a photo in it. No, it couldn’t just be any glossy photograph. You fussed over the concept of a perfect portrait, but nothing ever satisfied you enough, and with each passing year, it must've slipped your mind.

“I don’t get it... We haven’t talked for like, three years, and you still have this?”

"Does it have to make sense that I did?” Jungkook tilted his head, his eyelids lowering to look down at you. You open your mouth to reprimand him for using your words against you, but no words come out. Fuck. You swear it was his eyes—you’ve always said they were full of magic when you were children. It must’ve been that damned spellbinding luster that stole your voice. “What did you mean?” Jungkook takes a tentative step forward.

“Huh?” It came out like a breath.

Maybe it was the dim incandescence of the room, complementing the silhouette of his sculpted physique. Maybe it was the fact that the cloth he wore seemed too thin, too tense around his biceps and broad shoulders. Maybe it was because his first three buttons were left unclasped, teasing the faint outline of his chest. Or maybe it was the fact that you were so used to being in eye level with him—hell, looking down at him in the earlier points of your life. But you realized then, as Jungkook stared at you with a glint you couldn’t seem to quite recognize, how small you felt in front of him. Under him.

“When you said I was your daytime shooting star. You never explained it to me, what you meant,” Jungkook takes one final step forward, and the distance between you is insignificant. You don’t move—didn’t even think you could with your back pressed against his bookshelf. You could only return his gaze, doe eyes wavering beneath his. “What I meant to you...what I still mean to you.”

Your breath hitches, “Kook...”

“Fuck, I missed that,” his voice is low, breathless as his fingers brush your cheeks. “So fucking much, Y/n. I missed you calling my name, whatever you say. Kook, Kookie, Jungkook—I don’t care, just missed your voice, I still do. Don’t you know? Everyday, how much I long for you?”

Your eyes widen at his assertion. Wherever this was coming from, you didn't have the heart to stop it. "J-Jung—"

“—I miss you, Y/n. Any time I'm not around you it hurts and every time I am it hurts even worse.” His voice is so gentle, you fear he could hear the rhythm of your heart beat, palpitating with the heavy raindrops against his window.

“Why....why did you push me away?”

The waves were restless that cold, autumn night—you saw it through the fogged window of the train. Exhaustion tugged your eyes and your muscles screamed with every movement. As the train tracks rumbled beneath you, you wondered if you were even alive anymore, at least, it didn’t feel like it. All that was certain to you was the midnight stars outside, following you no matter where you went.

You didn’t know when the train entered the station, sighing to a stop as the doors slid open with a loud gush. It was probably 2am—Maybe 3, and the carts didn’t hold people this time around. At least you didn’t think it did, you honestly didn’t have the energy to even think about it. You only wondered how further you could go without knowing exactly how far you already went. Your neck ached from your head hanging low, and if it was cold, you didn’t feel it. All you felt was numb. An aching, dull pain eating away at your heart.

It was when you heard rushed heaves and loud footsteps that your eyes widened to see a familiar pair of green converse stop in front of you. You lift up your head to see Jungkook, cheeks red either from crying or the cold, maybe both. His brows were deeply furrowed as he crouched down, his hands gripping your shoulders.

“C-Can you hear me, Y/n? Are—are you okay?” You only nodded. He felt like a mirage, a dream.

You didn’t know what he saw in you that caused the droplets of sorrow to drip from his eye—whether it was the bruises covering your body, or the deep eye bags from restless nights at work—but it made you sad, how he looked at you. You wished he’d stopped. You wished you could be so far away that he didn’t have to look at you anymore.

“You’re, fuck, you’re freezing,” Jungkook quickly pulls his coat off and swathes it around you. “I’m sorry, y/n. I’m so sorry I didn’t get here earlier.” You shook your head, your dull headache being replaced with confusion. “Why are you even apologizing, Kook? H-How did you even find me? Why are you even here?” You had turned off your cell the whole day and gave no indication to where you’d be. You didn’t even tell Jungkook how you were feeling, it made no sense to see him there, holding you.

“We’re soulmates remember? Of course I’d know,” Jungkook tries his best to give a smile. “I’m here because you are. Just—look, lets get you out of here first okay?” Before you can tell him you can walk by yourself, he lifts you up, taking your hand as he leads you out. “The next train back to Seoul arrives in 8 minutes,” Even when Jungkook and you sit down on a bench, he doesn’t let go. He’s shaking, you realize, with his fingers intertwined with yours. It was as if he wanted to hold you tighter, but he was afraid. Afraid of what? Afraid of hurting you? Or afraid of you hurting him if you slip out of his grasp any further?

“How did you know?” You begin again. “I told you I was sick, I called the school too. A-and how did you even know where I was?”

“You called in sick for three days Y/n,” he frowns, “and you haven’t texted me once. I was so worried, fuck, I was so fucking worried when I went to your house to see that you weren't there. All my calls went straight to voice mail, and I saw...I-I saw the shattered beer bottles, the blood. I-I panicked, even thought of calling the police,” when your face goes rigid, he assures you, “of course I wouldn’t though, I would never do that you. But anyway, it took me awhile to guess, and I wasn’t even sure—just started running. I imagined you’d definitely be in a space ship to Pluto right about now, but I took a risky bet on the train station. You know, being much more accessible to us and all.” When Jungkook finishes light heartedly, you give a dry laugh, “you know me so well, Koo."

His small grin falls shortly as silence does, rubbing soothing circles with his thumb on your hand. When he speaks again, his voice is quiet, sad, “You always...you always said you’d bring me. We’re a team aren’t we? You and me, I-I thought...I would’ve been there, Y/n. You know I'd be there for you in a heartbeat. Don't you trust me?”

"Of course I trust you, Kook," you quickly assure him through your thin veil of tears. It hurt too much to know you were the reason for the crack in his voice, for the ache in his heart, for his glazed eyes. You couldn't stand his pity, but you couldn't stand being the source of his grief either. "Then why didn't you call me..? All I ever wanted was to be there for you, all I ever want is to be by your side, y/n. Why won't you just let me help you?”

“Because you don’t understand, Kook,” you croak. “You don't understand how hard it is for me—how hard it's always been. It'll only ever always be like this, and I-I can't just...fuck Kook, I can't just depend on you every time I get hurt. My problems are for me to sort out, I have no one but myself.”

“But you have me, y/n," the tears you fought so hard to hold back falls when Jungkook covers both your cheeks with his hands. The boy inhales sharply, trying to calm himself from crying any longer as he presses his forehead against yours. "It hurts me so much when you talk like that, y/n. You have me, you always have me. A-and it scares me because sometimes it just feels like I don't have you, that I never did and—"

"Jung—"

"You’ve been so distant lately," his breath is shaky and hot against your skin. "....It feels like you’re going to leave me. Please, don’t. Don't leave me behind like this, y/n.” You don't say anything else, too overwhelmed with his heartache beating with yours. In that cold autumn night, all you could do was cry in his arms.

The train arrives shortly.

“Lets go home," Jungkook murmurs sweetly against your skin. He kisses your forehead softly, and when he does, it feels like you already are home.

“Come here,” he grins, standing up with his hand out. You take it. “Have you eaten yet? I can make us food when we get back. What would you like?”

“Honestly? Just ramen.” Jungkook groans as you step inside the desolate train cart. “You know I could cook something way better for us."

"Nothing is better than ramen with eggs, Kook," you chide, giggling when Jungkook rolls his eyes. You take your hand away from him, and Jungkook tenses, only to relax when you cup his cheek once more. “But seriously, thank you, Jungkook. For everything. For worrying, being here for me, for finding me." He smiles, his eyes like crescent moons luminescent with love as he looks down at you, "always.”

"You said you'd do anything for me right?”

“Of course, anything, y/n.”

“Then please stop after this," you keep your small smile even as Jungkook's brows furrowed with confusion. You said it so simply, so plainly that he thought he might have heard you wrong. "What do you...?"

“Nothing will change after this. Nothing. I can't escape from my life, I can't escape from debt or my dad no matter how hard I try—and being the cause of your anxiety won't help me. I don't need a savior, and I don't think you need me holding you back either. We're burdening each other Kook.” With a heavy gush, the train doors start sliding shut and before Jungkook can even comprehend your words, you step out. “Don't have worry about me anymore, okay?”

“W-Wait— y/n—!” He’s quick to run, but it's too late. The doors slide shut, finally severing the thin red string of fate that held the two of you.

The rain falls with your tears as you cry into your hands, guilt washing over you like tidal waves. You remember his face the most, how heartbreak and betrayal etched with the dying fade of his smile. How you left him that day, how you left him everyday after that.

“I-I was just so tired, so tired of everything. I... I'm so sorry I pushed you away. I just didn't want you to worry about me anymore. You were always so good, everything about you, and I was scared I was holding you back and...and it hurt too much to stay knowing I was." Jungkook’s arm wrapped around your waist as his other hand gently pulled your head to his body. You're too stunned to move, but when you gather yourself, you decide you don't want to. You just cry, burying your face into his chest, your hands tightening around his shirt.

"I never once stopped thinking about you, y/n," he mumbled into your hair. "I never once not worried, never once not looked for you, and you—god, y/n—you never once held me back. Silly girl, don’t you know you were the only one who kept me together?” Jungkook lets out a noise, somewhere in between a sigh and a groan as he lowers his head onto your shoulder, "I did everything, anything to keep myself distracted from you. Competitions, sports, art, studies, friends.” His soft hair tickled your jaw as he nuzzled closer into the crook of your neck. “But I couldn’t, y/n, it was always you, it was never not you. Do you know how torn I was, watching you and not being able to talk to you? To hold you, be afraid of losing you even more than I already had?"

The pitter-pattering of the rain against the rooftop fills the voice you can’t seem to conjure. "Did you ever miss me?” Jungkook pulls away, and your eyes lock with his under the blue world. You realize then, by looking at him, just how scared he was. If you pushed him away again, he didn’t know what he’d do.

Reluctantly, you bring your hand to sweep Jungkook's tousled bangs away, brushing your fingers against the shell of his ear. "I did," you whisper, and more clearly, "I-I did, of course I did.” When Jungkook doesn't respond, your hand trails down his neck ... to his shoulders ... to his chest. "Do you hate me?"

Jungkook inhales sharply, "N-no." He could never.

"Your heart is beating so fast.... are you afraid?"

"I am."

"I am too," you lift his hand and place it against your own chest, laying it atop your own heartbeat. Thump, thump, thump, you don’t catch the pink of his cheeks when you’re too busy staring at the sad stars in his eyes. "I was too, back then. I know it's selfish, and i-i'm sorry I hurt you, but I hope you understand what kind of position I was in. I was so young, so scared—I just wanted to be alone, felt like it was a way to protect myself from anything else that could hurt me. I’m different now, I think, more stable—whatever that is," you chuckle dryly. "I can’t promise I won’t push you away, but I won’t leave anymore, really, s-so...."

Jungkook's eyes soften, his lids lowering when you say, "Can you trust me?"

"Of course," Jungkook breathes, “always.”

ACT III. | EPIPHANY

"Just go to sleep already, Jeon."

You've been repeating yourself for the past 3 hours, watching him restlessly saunter around his room. "...swear i’m missing something, I just don't know what..." Jungkook, like the countless of other times, dismissed you as he continued to tap his finger on his chin, mumbling to himself in intense focus. It was only when you’ve finally had enough, groaning and hurling a tissue box at him—which he instantly caught with ease—that he finally noticed your glare. "What was that for?"

"I said just go to sleep already!" You exhaled frustratedly, "you packed your whole room at this point, Kook. I swear you have, like, triple of everything you don't even need—so for the thousandth time, could you please just shut the lights?" It's been a few weeks since that one spring evening, and time started ticking again with Jungkook by your side. It took you awhile to adjust to his company, it was odd—but everything was odd at this point. Odd but comforting when Jungkook started visiting the rooftop every lunch, odd but reassuring when he'd pick you up after every shift, and odd but exciting to spend the night with him before the anticipated field trip to Jeju island. The four days were a granted escape before the tumultuous finals of the upcoming winter. Even you were a bit eager to go, having finally taken a justified leave off work.

"Fine, fine, but if I do end up forgetting something important, I blame you," Jungkook huffs, sauntering to the light switch. “Go ahead,” you roll your eyes, and with a small click!, a satisfied sigh escapes your lips. “Finally,” You snuggled into his pillows, but when the bed dips down right next to you, you realized you had forgotten to ask Jungkook to shut his mouth as well. "Will you sit next to me on the way there?" You squinted to the darkness, raising your brows at the silhouette of his figure. "Jungkook, you're literally my only friend, do you even need to ask?" He chuckled, "but will you? We don't have to sit with my friends if you don't want to."

You hummed, thinking as Jungkook carefully brushed loose strands of hair away from your face, the warmth of his fingers trailing down the side of your neck. You were reluctant about being seen with Jungkook at first, but the choice wasn't left to you when his friends spotted you and him at the library sometime ago. It honestly wasn't as bad as you expected, and more surprisingly, you even clicked with a few with them. Seokjin was one you gravitated to the most, being a truly funny and charming senior that you felt you could look up to. "No, it's fine. I like your friends." Jungkook’s head perked up, and the darkness captures the bright twinkle in his eyes. "Really, you do?" You smile, knowing how happy that must have made him. "Really, I do. Now can we please go to sleep? I'd like to be at least remotely awake for the first day."

“Okay, okay, grumpy head," a bunny like grin appears on his face as pinches your cheek, chuckling when you only grumble in return.

He strokes your hair down one last time before placing a kiss on your forehead. “Good night, y/n.”

"Good night, Kook," the reassuring warmth of his skin leaves yours, and you hear him shuffle in his own mattress on the floor. It's been awhile since you've felt like this, so safe. Though it didn't necessarily matter, being with Jungkook was different with Taehyung, you noticed. When it came to Taehyung, it was as if all your problems could dissipate with his touch. That for a moment, they could just disappear.

When it came to Jungkook, though, your problems were still there. They existed, they were real, and yet, when you with him, it felt like everything would be okay. He was like a breath fresh air, and you felt like you could get through anything—whatever it may be, as long as he was there. With that thought, you slowly, but surely, drifted to sleep.

ringgggg!! ringgg!!! ringggg!!

What happened afterwards came in fragments of fuzzy memories, distorted with exhaustion. It was the phone ringing first, then it was the shuffle of Jungkook rising from his mattress. The ringing, his heavy yawn, the ringing, groggy footsteps, the ringing, the clatter of the drawer—and finally, silence. "Y/n...?" His voice barely reached where your mind was, deep inside the depths of whatever dream dimension you were in. "Y/n," he said again. No reply. "Y/n... Y/n!"

"What?!" You groaned, lazily sitting up with a snarl and a bed head. The ringing starts again and you rub your eyes to where your phone screen illuminated Jungkook's face. "What is it?" You mumble, a little concerned to his expression. "God, is it Mrs. Joomi again? I just paid this month’s rent like a few d—"

"Mr. Kim."

You freeze. The two, single words are akin to iced buckets of water being splashed onto your face, instantly waking you up.

"Taehyung with a heart and moon emoji—but that's Mr. Kim, isn't it? In that photo? That's his first name." Your heart lurches forward. 태형☽<3, displaying a low quality photo of him that you secretly took while he was preparing breakfast. It was once a happy morning, and this was once a happy night—disrupted by its forbidden rays of joy.

When Jungkook finally looks at you through the stark darkness, you can only stare back, your heartbeats filling the silent stun of your dry throat. The bubbly melody stops, and when you don't say anything, Jungkook's voice grows louder, "Y/n what—what the hell is this? Why is Mr. Kim calling you at 3am? Why do you have a photo of him? Why is his contact—"

"J-Jungkook," You nervously moved to sit on the front edge of the bed, attempting to speak as calmly as you can. Jungkook would understand...right? He wouldn't tell, he couldn't. He knows you, your financial situation. It was okay. "Remember when you asked me not to push you away? Well, this is me letting you in. This is me trusting you Jungkook, so please just hear me out." Under the moonlight's glower, you see the bob of his adam's apple rise and fall. "Taehyung, he—"

"Taehyung?" You wince, the acidity of his voice like bitter poison. "I-I mean, Mr. Kim. M-Mr. Kim, he...helps me."

"Helps you?" Jungkook scoffs. "At 3am? How could he—" Suddenly, Jungkook's eyes go wide. "Y/n, you don't mean..."

You nod stiffly, "he gives me money in exchange for....i-its consensual! He helps me," your cheeks heat up, hating yourself for allowing this to happen, having to explain yourself. “A-anyway the point is, you won't tell anyone, right? You understand, don't you, Kook?"

"Understand?! Y/n—he’s a teacher! He's seven fucking years older than us—are you stupid, what were you thinking?!" The sting of his words ring in your ears like a harsh slap across your face. Throughout your years together, Jungkook had barely had the heart to scold you, so you were more than unprepared for his hurtful words. Your shock quickly subdues into anger though, and you stand up, “what I was thinking? What I was thinking?! I don't know Kook, maybe thinking about my fucking electric bill! Thinking about how to pay off debt—how to buy food for fuck's sake! I've looked after myself my whole life, and this is no different."

"Still—This is wrong, y/n! You know that! There are other ways like, like—"

"Like what Jungkook?!" You're in front of him now, pushing at his chest. "Working my ass off in nine to fives? Well I do that, Kook, every fucking day and yeah, a fucking disappointment for me too that it's not enough. You could never know how its like for me, but out of everyone, you're supposed to...! You’re supposed to understand,” you chuckle bitterly, shaking your head as a futile attempt to shake the hot tears away.

"Y/n...” Jungkook’s anger diminishes into a frustrated panic. He tries to reach for you, hold you, anything to keep you from crying because of him—but you turn away, and despite himself, he couldn’t help but feel guilty. He sighs harshly, his voice much softer now, “I just—out of all these years, you could've asked me. I was always there, y/n, and you never accepted me. I know we talked about this already, but the fact that...” He shakes his head, pinching the bridge of his nose. “I do understand, but I was always here. I was your best friend, why did you have to go to him? Am I...am I that unreliable to you?"

Your own heart sinks for him this time, quickly shaking your head. “No, Kook. I-It's not like that. I'm sorry this has to be so complicated, that i've made you feel small. You are reliable, Jungkook. You're my safe place, my person—always have been. I appreciated you so much but you need to understand how terrible it felt for me back then. I hated being pitied by you. You’re my friend, not a fucking philanthropist."

Jungkook takes your hand this time, "I never wanted to help you because I pitied you, y/n. You were always so strong, I don't think you could ever be someone I could pity. I wanted to help because I cared for you, loved you, and it breaks my heart knowing that you went through such lengths when you could've turned to me."

You sigh, threading your hands over the back of his hair. "It was all just circumstantial, Kook. Taehyung found me at a really low point in my life. I didn't search for it, but he was there and i’m thankful for yim, so please Jungkook, please." Your eyes wavered beneath his sad stare, hoping, pleading. Jungkook bites on his lip, cursing, "look...I won't tell on you if that's what you're thinking. I would never do that to you, i'm just worried. He's calling you at nearly 4am, y/n—shit, h-has he hurt you? Did he ever make you do anything you didn't want to?" Jungkook looks frantic for a second, but you quickly shake your head. "N-no! No, god no, he's never hurt me! You know him Kook, Tae would never hurt me." You miss how you even said Tae or how Jungkook's jaw clenched to it.

"I won't say anything, y/n, at least...not yet. You have to end it."

"W-What?"

"He took advantage of you in a low position in your life, y/n."

"N-No Kook, you don't understand!"

"It's not your fault, y/n, it's completely his. He's the adult here, it was wrong. You have to end this."

"But I can't! The money, Kook, you know I can't."

"Then let me help you," he steps closer. Your hands slide to his chest now, shaking your head. "No, Jungkook, my answer has been no and its still no. I refuse to be your charity case," you scoff. "Then you're not going to be. I'll pay you to sleep with me too."

Your eyes instantly shoot open. What..?

"I'll pay you to sleep with me," he repeats calmly. "Anytime you need it, anytime I want it, and I'm certain I'll be able to give you more than whatever Mr. Kim could." Your mouth only hangs open, words dying in your dry throat.

"What's wrong?" Jungkook asks, taking a step closer. This time, you take a step back. "If you were fine with doing it with Mr. Kim, shouldn't it be fine with me?"

"N-No," your voice is barely a shaky whisper. More clearly, "No, Jungkook. I can't just—we just started talking again. You're my only friend, I won't ruin us just for—"

"I won't let anything happen to us, I promise y/n."

"B-but—"

"You don't have to worry about it, okay? Plus, isn't this situation more ideal? You'd get paid more and you wouldn't have to rely on—"

"I love him!"

Its Jungkook's turn to be silent. "What..?"

"I love him Kook," you croak, heat overwhelming your cheeks.

"Y/n..."

"I know it's wrong, I know he seems like an asshole but he's not. I know him, Kook, and i’m mature enough to know myself too. I made my decision back then, and I keep making it today because...I love him." You can’t help but feel your anguish trickle down your eyes, and you cry into your hands. That’s it then. It’s done. You’ve finally admitted it, yet despite the burden of the untold truth lifting—you felt heavier, worse. By now, Jungkook would’ve pulled you into a warm embrace. He’d hush you with soothing murmurs and delicate kisses on your forehead. He’d trail his fingers through your hair, tell you that he knew, that he gets it, that it was okay. But he doesn’t. He couldn’t. You were crying for another man, and all he could feel was ache.

Your phone rings once more, and from the night stand, you see Taehyung’s figure on the dimmed screen. You reluctantly look at Jungkook, but when he doesn’t say anything, his expression unreadable, you take it. "H-hello?"

"Hey, doll," Taehyung's voice is low. "I’m sorry I keep calling, I feel really shit for waking you up at this time. I know the Jeju trip is in a few hours, but I just needed to talk to you."

"No, no, its fine. I was already awake anyways, um...what is it?" You turned away from Jungkook, nervously biting on your lip. Despite everything that had unfolded between the two of you, it was strange. Taehyung never called you at this time after all—and him saying you guys needed to talk only heightened your nerves.

"It's better to talk in person. Where are you? I can pick you up." You shake your head, despite not him being able to see you. "N-No, i’ll come over...is that okay?"

"Yeah, of course, I'll see you soon." With that, the call ends. You can feel Jungkook’s eyes on your back—its overwhelming, and you’re scared to face the definite disgust and judgement in his them, so you don’t look at him when lift your bag across your shoulder. "I’m sorry, I...I need to go.”

ACT IV | LOVE IS NOT OVER

Jungkook hasn't seen you since last night. You never showed up at the meeting spot, never answered his calls or texts—never even once read the 68 of them.

He was certain you came, though—he checked in with Mrs. Yoon before boarding, but you were always good at hiding, and Jungkook was always an impatient seeker. The whole process of arriving, checking into the hotel, and splitting into groups was a whole blur that ended in him never finding you. After spending hours exploring the designated routes through antique shops, cute cafes, pretty sceneries, and meadows with his friends, he started to fear that you didn't come after all—that Mrs. Yoon had made a mistake.

Surely, he would've bumped into you at least once through the whole trip. And where the fuck was Mr. Kim? Jeju was supposed to be the pinnacle of his highschool experience. He’d be elated with the giddiness of being out with his friends, kissed with the gift of delicious freedom. But it was 7:46 PM now, and even when he overlooked the vast beach dipped with sunset's entrancing glow, he felt anything but. Not when Seokjin cracked his lame dad jokes, nor when Eunha got him to bike through scenic trails.

Jungkook sighed as the strawberry milk clattered to the bottom of the vending machine. He spotted it tucked away from the corner of the museum his group wandered into. He excused himself, relieved that their chaperone actually trusted him to be by himself. He needed the space.

He poked the straw through the carton, leaning against the cold metal as his eyes gazed over the glistening waves. He hated you. Always leaving him like this, always making him restless and unsure.

It was when he looked for the moon in the dusk sky that he noticed a familiar silhouette amidst the shore. It wavered with the wind, and Jungkook instantly felt his scorn. The man's jeweled hand was holding a cigarette between two fingers, overlooking the ocean with distant eyes.

Fuck the sand, fuck his expensive shoes, fuck everything. Jungkook doesn't know when he starts running, but he doesn't stop.

It all happened so past—the sun would have missed it if not for the perfect view she had just over the excited ripples of the ocean. When Taehyung noticed his presence, it was already too late. Jungkook had grabbed his collar, and without a second of hesitance, punched him across his face. Taehyung fell into the sand with a grunt, cursing loudly. “What the fuck?!” He turned to his perpetrator, his glare quickly diminishing into pure shock to see his own student right in front of him, eyes poisoned with resentment and hatred.

Taehyung's emotions came whirling at him all at once. The confusion, then the anger, the urge to scream at him and punch him until he was left bleeding on the shore—then the mediating side of him, understanding that he'd done more than enough to get his ass fired, why the fuck would he...?—then the realization. He sighs roughly, shaking his head as he stands. He isn't up for long though, as Jungkook takes another swing. Taehyung’s cheeks scream with stinging pain, but Jungkook’s on top of him, and he doesn’t stop.

"You fucking bitch!" Jungkook seethed, barely feeling his fist continuously bury into Taehyung’s face. He knew. He knew how much you loved him, he knew Taehyung helped you. He knew you'd get angry, maybe even hate him for the rest of his life for this—But maybe that's why he couldn't control himself. He didn't care if you thought Taehyung was some angel. To him, Taehyung was just a disgusting predator who took advantage of your situation, and deep down, maybe it was more for a selfish reason. Taehyung was a man who touched you, who had you—who wasn’t him. "You disgusting fuck. Don't ever fucking touch y/n again, you hear me?!" Another hit, but Jungkook is too blinded with anger to realize the scary amount of blood drooling down his nose and lips, from the cuts of his cheeks. "I know," Taehyung rasps.

"If you know then why did you do it?! You’re a fucking creep, you’re disgusting.”

"I know," another hit, and blood stains his shirt. Taehyung curses and grabs Jungkook's fist before he can throw another punch, pushing him into the sand. "You dick, I swear to god, I swear to fucking god I'll fucking kill you." Jungkook thrashes under Taehyung, but the teacher buries both his wrists into the ground, his weight holding the younger boy down.

“Sh-Shit, Look, I know how you must feel about me, and I know I deserve this, but I would much rather avoid being seen like this so I'm going to say this quick and you're going to listen."

"Fuck you," Jungkook growls, glaring at the man on top of him. His eyes were unreadable, almost enigmatic, and Jungkook hated every unwavering speckle of deep brown in it.

"I don't regret it," Taehyung disregards him. "I liked her—y/n—and no matter what you think of me, that stands true. You must like her too, she told me about you some nights. I have to admit, hearing about another boy when she's laying in my own bed wasn't very pleasant for me, but you made her happy. You mean a lot to her," Jungkook shut his eyes tightly, cursing as he tried to get the image of Taehyung holding you in his arms out of his mind. "I know you don't think I care about her, but I do, so just fucking listen for a second okay? I know i'm no good for her, but you aren't either. You're too immature, we both know y/n deserves way more. See where you are now? Right under me when you could be there for her? Have you even seen her today? Have you asked her how she's been?"

"What... what the fuck are you saying."

Taehyung sighs, and stumbles back to stand, wincing as the harsh winds slap his bloodied face. He nimbly looks for his cigarette, and before he lights it, Jungkook grabs his lighter. "I said what the fuck do you mean?!"

"I ended it with her," Taehyung glares at him, his voice firm, cold as he snatches the lighter back. Jungkook feels his heart drop. “You...what?"

There's silence, and when the man turns to look at the sun drowning into the ocean’s abyss, he lights the cigarette, "the fireworks are starting soon." Jungkook's eyes widens. Before he knows it, he's already running.

You’ve always loved the fireworks.

His footsteps that were submerged into sand were now padding against the concrete of the sidewalk, his heart pounding in his ears. A few cars must have honked at him here and there as he ran through the streets, unknowing of his surrounding because all he can think of his getting to his destination—you. He frantically reaches for his phone, panting.

You

JK : where are you?

my love : my room

my love : 613, 7th floor

JK : on my way.

ACT V. | HOLD ME TIGHT

At least the fireworks were pretty.

Your eyelids drooped, puffed with drowsy red as you watched the sparkling scene on the balcony of the hotel. Evening's cold breeze teased your bare legs, dancing with the delicate ends of your black, satin nightgown. You were hugging yourself yourself, leaning against the cold railings as sparks of vivid red shatter into memories tainted with heartbreak. The red silk sheets that you grasped tightly beneath you. The red lingerie that Taehyung slid off your skin. The red wine he poured into the pan when you told him you were hungry. You liked watching him the most, you thought as he stood in front of the stove, his eyes trained on the steak. You liked watching him unbutton his top, talk about his day, how he let out loud laughter whenever a funny story would come up. You loved when he unveiled himself for you, when he'd strip off his enigmatic persona bare and let you peer into his soul.

But that's all you ever did, you guessed, all you ever could do. You watched him when he smiled down at you, his cold fingertips brushing your waist, and you watched him as he left.

It must've been 4 minutes into the firework show when you heard the doorbell ring. Sighing, you leave the balcony as yellow ignites the night sky. You open the door to Jungkook, his chest heaving up and down, his hair tousled by wind, beads of sweat sticking to his neck.

When he doesn't say anything, and neither do you, you step aside to let him in. You wonder if he was still angry about last night, how he'd react when you tell him—but with the way he looked down at you, tender eyes dawned with sadness, you already understand you don’t have to. "I know," Jungkook steps closer, pulling you into a hug. His warmth embraces you as darkness does when the door clicks shut. "What happened, I know."

You sighed, closing your eyes. The fireworks sounded so distant compared to his heartbeat. Jungkook must've ran for you, you thought as your buried your face into his chest. Of course he would, he always has. Maybe that certainty is what intoxicates you to murmur, "I'll accept it."

"What?"

"What you proposed last night, I'll accept it," you say calmly, quietly. You looked up at him with wavering eyes, "please...I need you right now."

Jungkook's heart practically lurched out of his chest. He knew he should take a step back, tell you that you'd end up regretting it and to take it back before it was too late. He knew, but the devil on his shoulder was much more insistent than his angel, and maybe... maybe his angel wanted it too—so fuck it all.

Jungkook took your lips in a magnetic dance, drawing you closer into him with one hand on your lower back and the other behind your head.

God, you were so lovely. How your head lolled for him, soft, plush lips jarred open. Jungkook has always been good at controlling himself when it came to you, but when he heard the slightest whimper escape your trembling lips, he felt he couldn't hold himself back any longer.

He didn't seek for permission to suck your lower lip, didn’t even seek permission to slide his tongue inside your lovely little mouth when you gasped. He held your chin, deepening the kiss. More, more, more—he wanted more of you. He wanted to explore your body, wanted to make your breath tremble, wanted to find out what you liked and disliked under bedsheets. Jungkook wanted to know you better than anyone else had. He wanted you, needed you.

“Kook,” You whimper into him as he pushes you against the wall, holding your thigh up. He grinds his bulge against your clothed cunt, sending wild tremors along your nerves. “F-feels so good.”

“Yeah?” He takes your other thigh, and you yelp as he lifts you up. Your surprise quickly washes out with haze when he buries his thick tent further into you. You let out a moan, wrapping your legs around his torso. “I can make you feel even better.”

The explosions of the fireworks are blurred with the palpitations of your heart as Jungkook lays you on the bed, his lips immediately finding home in yours. "Love how you sound for me, love," Jungkook’s wet, needy kisses trail down your neck...to your collarbones...to your breast. “So pretty like this, always so pretty,” his fingers ghost your sensitive nipples, perked from evening's cold. He doesn't waste any time to take one nipple into his mouth, his fingers playing with the other.

His cold hand trails down your stomach, finally pressing it down your soaked underwear. He smirks, feeling the soaked outline of your pussy lips. “Already so wet for me baby? How cute."

His plush lips leave your nipple with a pop, instead latching onto the crook of your neck. Your eyes go wide when you realize what he's about to do. “Wait, d-don’t! Not th—ah.” He doesn't allow you to finish your sentence, swiftly sliding your underwear out of the way before pressing a hard thumb over your clit. “Don't deny me, y/n,” His voice is low over your whiny moans. He sucks on the supple of your skin as he slides one, slender finger into you, smoothly drawing it in and out while he rolls your little bud with his other. “Please, need to show everyone that you’re mine,” he murmurs, licking his work, perfectly tinged with a pretty pink . “Besides...” he trails, taking note of your arousal dripping down his wrists. “You love this, don’t you?”

“N-No..! I...ah, K-Kook, Kookie..!” Your voice fails you, moans escaping from your trembling lips. “Jungkook s-stop..!” Jungkook frowns against your skin, and he lifts his head up to meet your gaze. “Why not?” His eyes are dark. You try to fight the muddle of your mind as his slow, tentative fingers continue to work on your cunt. “B-Because...because student c-council. It's inappropriate, and your friends will ask, a-and... mm!—“

“Taehyung?” Jungkook says bitterly, but you’re too indulged with the knot in your stomach. You moan loudly, your hands finding anchor wrapped around his biceps. “I'm sure you don’t want Taehyung to see, do you?” Jungkook's pace is furious now, and you barely make out his words through the thick fog of your mind. You feel so close. “Don’t want him to know that you're with me, hm? That i’m finger fucking you into my dumb whore."

His indecent words paint a wild blush on your cheeks. You never knew Jungkook could be like this, could be so mean.

"You know what I think..."

Jungkook lowers himself down between your sweaty thighs, quivering with painful pleasure. "''Think my dumb babygirl wants me to clean her messy little pussy up. Would you like that, love?"

"Y-Yeah," you moan, desperately bucking your hips up, "p-please eat me out, Kook."

"Needy girl," Jungkook lets out a sigh, his pants tightening around his painful hard on. You were so pretty like this, Jungkook swore he could cum just by watching you.

You almost cry when he pulls his fingers away, instead squeezing around your squishy hips. You do cry, though, when he gives your pussy a tantalizing lick, sending shockwaves of pleasure through your body. "Knew my baby girl would taste so sweet," he groans. His tongue circles around your throbbing bud, sucking on it.

"Fuck! K-Kook, I-I can't," you wail, tears falling down your cheeks. Jungkook only flutters his eyes open, watching you with heated eyes as his tongue works on your wet cunt.

"Please, g-gonna cum, please!" Your back arches. Jungkook's hands the only thing anchoring you down.

"Then cum, baby, cum for me." Jungkok's voice is tender, coaxing like warm honey. With his encouragement, your dripping cunt spasms, unfurling your cream all over him. "That's my girl," His attentive tongue takes your sweet release, the embarrassing sound of slurping clouding your brain.

"You were so good for me, baby," He cooes, planting one final kiss on your quivering bud. Your cheeks tinge with a shy pink.

He lifts himself up, carefully laying over you so his forehead is pressed against yours. His eyes search yours under the veil of the moonlight. The fireworks must've stopped along the way, your heavy breaths filling the quiet room. "Tired, love?" Jungkook whispers, and you nod timidly, reaching your arms out to hug him.

Your skin is sticky with sweat like melting ice cream on hot summer days, but Jungkook adores his body pressed against yours. His fingers squeeze your smooth waist, placing gentle kisses on your neck, up your jaw, capturing your lips once more in a slow dance. A thin string line of saliva connects the two of you when he pulls back, and he breaks it off with a gentle graze across your wet lips.

"Think you can continue for me, baby?" Jungkook asks soothingly. "It's okay if you can't, of course. Must've been such a long day for you."

You shake your head, your hand lightly tracing the outline of the small scar on his cheek. You still remember the day he fell off his bicycle, somehow managing to tumble down the hill all the way to the train tracks. It must've been the first time you ever saw him cry.

"I want to."

"Are you sure?" His eyebrows perk up. "Because we really don't have to. I don't ever want you to feel like you have to please me. I know you took my offer, but if you aren't ready or comfortable, nothing has to happen. Believe it or not, pleasuring you already makes me feel euphoric." His words have you melt, gentle as a sweet night's lullaby.

"But I want us to feel good together," you say softly. "Please take me, Kookie. I want you." Jungkook's eyes widen, faint pink blooming on his cheeks, and you watch the stars in his eyes grow brighter with your shy gaze. He lets out a small chuckle, "god, you really don't know what you do to me, y/n."

He places a gentle peck on your lips one last time before rising to his knees, discarding his clothes. You're quick to slip off your nightdress and underwear, and you patiently admire Jungkook's toned physique as he worked to unbuckle his belt. Even the moon was enamored with him, tracing its luminous glow from his broad shoulders to his biceps, wrapping around his slim waist.

Your breath hitches when his dick springs out right in front of you, thick and swollen, oozing pre cum. Jungkook watches you with heated eyes, his hand grazing his dick. "Wow," you breathe, sitting up and replacing his hand with yours. Jungkook's hisses when you stroke his cock, doe eyed to his length that throbbed with neglect. "You're so pretty, Kookie. You're pretty everywhere..."

"I should be the one who's telling you that, darling," he lets out a shaky breath through his smile, his hand finding your cheek. "Now, i’d love for that lovely little mouth of yours to suck my cock, but I feel like i'm gonna explode any minute now, and i'd like to do so inside of you," he chuckles when a furious blush takes your cheeks. You let him push you down, positioning himself in between your legs. He takes his pulsating cock in his hands, sliding his glistening head over your cunt. "Would you like that baby? Want me to cum in this cute little pussy? Wanna take Kook's cum like a good girl?" You feel yourself shy from his words, whimpering, "y-yes please, Kookie."

"Tell me how much you want it, baby."

"S-So bad. Kookie p-please, want you to fill me up."

"Yeah?" Jungkook chuckled, a cocky smirk on his lips that made you tremble. "Think your tiny pussy can even take my cock?"

"Y-Yes, m'pussy wants your cock, p-please Kook!"

"Dirty girl, love it when you beg for me," he pushes the blunt head of his cock into your swelling entrance, already having you see stars by the time he fills you up whole. "You okay?" Jungkook breathes out, his forehead falling against yours. You nodded timidly, "j-just need a little time to adjust."

"Okay, baby, tell me when you're ready." He pecks your nose, letting out a shaky sigh as your walls clench around him. When you do, Jungkook takes your knees, pushing them on either side of you so your legs are spread out wide for him.

He pulls out his whole cock so he could see the flush tip of his cock before plunging back into you. You moan loudly to his even pace, bottoming you out with every thrust.

"F-fuck, been wishing for this forever. Just want to punish this pussy for making me wait for this long."

Harsh skin to skin contact and the squelch of your juices mixing together fills your fuzzy mind. You felt so full, you could practically feel him in your belly. "Shit, you're practically swallowing me. You like this, don't you?"

"Y-yeah, love your cock, Kookie," you moan, his pace growing faster and more unforgiving. "I'm never letting you go after this, fuck y/n. You're mine, you’re so fucking mine. Say it, say you're mine, p-please."

"Yours," you whimper, feeling the familiar tingling ecstasy overwhelm your stomach. "O-Only yours, Kookie."

"That's right, baby, open your mouth." You didn't know exactly why, but you didn't question him. He could tell you to do absolutely anything right now and you'd do it. Your wet lips jar open for him, and Jungkook spits in your mouth, sending a wave of tremor through your body. "Swallow."

You listen, obediently swallowing. "That's my girl."

"Kookie, kookie...m'gonna cum!"

"Again baby? You’re so easy, barely have to do anything and you're spilling." You moan to his words, thrusting in and out of you in a hypnotic pace. "Go on then, baby. Cum for me, make a mess over my balls."

Your whole body tenses, feeling the overwhelming wave wash over you. Eyes rolling to the back of your head, you release around him the second time. "Good girl, baby, so good for me, fuck," Jungkook hisses to your tightening walls squeezing around him, driving himself into your belly until he pours all his cum deep inside of you.

You practically drooled, his load coming out in spurts of thick cream. When he pulls out, your pussy twitches, his cum oozing out. He falls onto your chest, and your heavy pants fill the room.

After awhile, Jungkook lazily pulls you to lay over him. "Okay, baby?"

"Mm," you murmur into his sweaty chest, trying to recollect your breath. You open your mouth to thank him, but a loud explosion takes your voice. In a second, waves of yellow wash the room, then blue, then purple. Your tiredness subdues into drowsy awe. You sit up and Jungkook does too, positioning you on his lap. "I think this is the second show. Timing is fitting don't you think?"

You giggle, and Jungkook sees daylight in your eyes. "Too fitting. I'm starting to think that this was all part of some big plan."

Jungkook rolls his eyes, laughing as he tucks a hair behind your ear. "Silly girl, of course it is." You look at him quizzically. "We're soulmates aren't we? The universe is just celebrating us."

You smile, sighing as you lean into his chest. "Whatever you say, my soulmate." Jungkook's eyes widen. He felt twelve again, dumbstruck euphoria overwhelming his love for you any time you called him yours. His shock settles into a soft smile, holding you in his arms while you watch the fireworks. It takes him awhile to realize your eyes are closed though.

"Sleepy, love? Thought you loved the fireworks."

"I do," you giggle, pushing him down onto the soft mattress. You snuggle into his chest. "Just listening to your heartbeat."

Jungkook blushes. He was going to urge you to clean up, but with you looking so cozy on top of him, he knew you'd much rather rest. He sighs lovingly, stroking your hair. He hasn't felt this happy in awhile. "About your payment, I’ll wire $800 just for tomorrow, but we’ll officially talk about the—"

“Shhhh!” You grumble, burying your head further into him. “Don’t wanna talk about money right now, just let me be with you.”

Jungkook blinks, and you look up to him with a pout. Purple lights up the seoul's night sky, casting an soft glow on Jungkook’s face. He chuckles, thumb brushing your cheeks.

"Needy girl.”

a/n : wooooo this took the longest time to write. its pretty bulky so whoevers got to this point i love you sosososo and i hope you enjoyed my work ! feedback is welcome and super appreciated, reading comments really do make my day <3 i was thinking of making a sequel/continuation for this but im not so sure ,, we'll see. anyways, i hope you have a lovely day my loves ! stay hydrated and healthy, i hope you eat good food today. make sure to take care of yourself too !

[kodzuvii]

CLUB STUPID [EXTRA: there’s a pretty girl in our kitchen]

PAIRING - suna x fem!reader ft. suna rizu aka the little sister :)

GENRE - crack + fluff

warning - just grammar and spelling mistakes lol + y/n cuts her finger + y/n is implied to be really short + suna is a bit ooc but that’s because he’s a simp for you <3

wc - 7k

SYNOPSIS - Club Stupid, an anonymous podcast meant for the dumb and dumbest to send in unspoken and nonsensical thoughts about issues they face in their day to day lives and for Y/n to speak out and give her opinions and feelings. Normal feelings though, nothing romantic like how she thinks this lazy guy with questionable hair in the volleyball club is actually pretty cute.

a/n: bringing this baby back because we recently hit 5k notes :D this is also my peace offering for my sudden absence on this blog LMAO sit back and enjoy as we catch up with suna and yn as well as witness whipped!suna 

[Somewhere at the start of December]

“I don’t understand”

“Don’t understand what?”

“You’re the one who failed your test, why am I the one buying groceries?”

“Because I paid during our last date”

“Rin, I’m helping you study. Does this even count as a date?” 

You looked down at your hands that were holding bags full of ingredients you needed to make some sukiyaki. With the boys being on break from volleyball, Suna had texted you after school asking for help to review for a retake on a test he failed. 

You had to take a double-take while reading the text because, Suna? Studying? Willingly? A rare combination.

The original plan was to go straight to his house since his family owned a really nice kotatsu table that also acted as a couch. With winter settling in and the weather starting to get much colder, you and Suna quickly realized that neither of you enjoyed going out during this time of the year. Sure, the snowflakes were pretty, but sitting comfortably under a warm kotatsu surrounded by snacks while you tried to get his mind around trigonometry sounded more appealing

Suna looked down at you, “You’re acting as if you’re not craving a hot pot right now,” You rolled your eyes, “I never said I wasn’t craving it, I just know that I’m gonna be doing most of the work because your ass can’t cook” you reasoned. Suna shrugged, “not my fault you decided to upgrade your cooking skills during the past 5 months we’ve been together” You rolled your eyes and buried your face deeper into Suna’s scarf that was wrapped around your neck in an attempt to cover up the blush rising up on your cheeks. 

A smug smile came upon Suna’s lips as he watched you get embarrassed. You two were still going strong and had hit 5 months just a week ago. Even though you both had your minor little arguments here and there, you were both still content and happy with each other. 

With 5 months flying by, Suna didn’t think that it was possible for him to fall for you even more. By now, you had both settled into a comfortable state in your relationship. Regular dates about once or twice during the week with a couple of sleepovers and late-night facetime calls thrown in between. Since it was colder, he had at least two hoodies on him at all times. One for you and one for him (but he wouldn’t mind if you took both.) He enjoyed seeing the sight of you curled up in his hoodie when you stayed over at his place or when found himself keeping you company as you edited your podcast for the week.

Once the second semester of the school year started, you started to branch out a little bit more on your own and found yourself being busier as you started joining clubs of your own interest. 

Sure Suna was a bit disappointed that he wouldn’t be seeing you sitting by the bleachers anymore during practice, but he understood that you had your own passions and needed your own group of friends outside of the boys on volleyball team.

He liked seeing the smile on your face when you talked to him about something your friend had said or about how fun of a day you had after hanging out with them. He had to reassure you many times that he didn’t mind you hanging out with other people at all, you both knew and did your best to balance your time with friends and each other anyways.

Plus, he thought it was quite cute that you’d always give him a quick kiss on the cheek when you’d walk by the water fountain before running off with your club members.

[“Suna hurry up!” he heard Atsumu call for him by the entrance of the gym. 

Suna spared him one glance before straightening himself up and lifting his palm off the button of the water fountain. He gave the setter a nod as he wiped the corner of his lip with the back of his hand. 

Just then, he could hear a familiar voice calling for his name behind him. Not too long after that, he felt a pair of arms wrap around his waist and a chaste kiss pressed on his cheek. The corner of his lip twitched up and he looked down to meet your e/c eyes. “Hey bub, don’t you have club activities?” he asked. You nodded, still not letting go of his waist, “just wanted to come and say hello, so...hello” you grinned. Suna smiled and pressed a kiss to your temple, “well hello to you too” he muttered before wrapping his arms around you and embracing you with all his warmth. 

“Y/n you piece of shit there you are!” 

You jumped back at the sound of your friend’s voice from around the corner. You pulled out of Suna’s embrace and gave him an apologetic smile while rubbing the back of your neck, “Sorry Rin gotta run, see you after school!” you didn’t even give him a chance to respond as you placed one last kiss on his jaw before running off to your friends. 

Even though he could hear the faint yelling of Atsumu’s voice calling for him at the back of his head, his eyes were focused on the way your face turned red as your friends teased you. 

God, who let you be so damn cute]

Suna took out one of his hands from the pocket of his coat and wrapped it over your shoulder and pulled you a bit closer to his side. You leaned into his side and let your hair rest lightly onto his chest.

“You’re so annoying, I’m not making any hot pot for you”

“I will lock you outside of my house”

✧･ﾟ: *✧･ﾟ:* 

Stepping inside the Suna household, you were instantly met with warmth. Suna flickered the lights on as you slipped off your shoes. Suna slipped off his own jacket and motioned for you to give yours to him as well so he could hang it up inside the coat closet. You smiled and put the groceries you were holding in one hand and let him help you shrug off your coat. 

“Here give me your bag, I’ll place it by the couch,” he said with his hand out. You nodded and handed him your backpack as you slipped on some house slippers and made your way towards the kitchen and settled the bags down onto the island. 

As you took the ingredients out of the bag, Suna walked into the living room and turned the TV on to a random show. You were way too invested in deciding which vegetables you wanted to include in the hot pot that you didn’t hear Suna walk towards you with his phone in his hands and the camera app open.

“Babe smile”

“Huh”

Just as you looked up, with mushrooms and green onions in your hand, you hear the sound of the camera shutter go off and Suna snicker. “Cute” he grinned. 

You rolled your eyes, “I thought you only took blackmail of the twins” Suna put his phone down and raised his eyebrows at you, “would you rather have your face or Atsumu’s all over my gallery?” he asked. You thought about it for a minute before nodding, “yeah no never mind you have a point” he chuckled and walked over to you and placed a kiss on your cheek. 

“I need to grab my charger really quick, you know where everything is right?” you nodded, you’ve been over at the Suna residence before and this wouldn’t be the first time you’ve cooked there. 

“Do you need anything upstairs?” he asked. Your ears perked up at the sound of his offer, “Can I borrow a hoodie?” you asked. Suna eyed you up and down, “you’re already wearing one of my hoodies” he stated and narrowed his eyes on the navy blue hoodie over your figure. “No, no, I mean can I wear the really soft one? The black one with the embroidering and cool design on the back” you smiled and gave him a look that you both knew he couldn’t say no for. 

Suna knew what hoodie you were talking about, it was a hoodie that you often wore of his that he hasn’t brought to school in a bit since it was in the laundry. “Think of it as your payment for me since I’m cooking you a meal” you grinned. Suna sighed, “fine, hands up,” he said as put his phone into his pocket and made his way over to you. 

You giggled and did what you were told and lifted your arms up and watched as he held onto the ends of the hoodie and lifted it over your head. Once you felt the sleeves of the hoodie be pulled off your arms, you put them down and straightened your hair and your shirt and smiled up at him, “thank you~” he rolled his eyes “you’re lucky you’re cute” he muttered and looked away which made you laugh. You made your way back to the kitchen and heard his steps going up the stairs.  

You sighed as you eyed down the ingredients, you forgot to ask him if his parents may have wanted some. You didn’t wanna cook too much and not have the means to finish it all but you also didn’t wanna make too little and leave you both hungry. “Better more than less” you thought. 

You turned around and grabbed the cutting board from one of the cabinets and a knife from one of the drawers. Placing the cutting board and the knife on the marble island, you grabbed the bagged vegetables and placed them on a clean plate and discarded the plastic in the trash bin beside the fridge. You ran the vegetables under some water from the sink to clean them before placing them back on the plate and setting them to the side so you could grab another pot and start boiling the water on the stove.

You were silently thankful that Granny and Shin had helped you learn how to make a proper hot pot. As you opened the packet of udon noodles, you were too much in your zone to notice what was happening around you. 

Your cooking was sometimes a hit or miss and with the day you’ve had, you were hungry, and the last thing you wanted was for the meal you took some time to make to taste terrible and leave you hungrier than when you started. The sound of the TV playing in the background drowned and you focused your attention on the cabbage you were cutting. 

You were way too concentrated on making sure that each cabbage slice was the same in length as the rest that you failed to hear the sounds of the front door opening and closing and a female figure walking into the home. 

“Nii-san~oh what the fuck since when did you cook-”

The sudden voice coming into the kitchen and cutting through your concentration made you jump and unfortunately for you, your finger slipped off the cabbage and met the blade of the knife you were using. 

“Oh shit” you hissed in pain and lifted your finger off the cutting board. However, instead of immediately tending to the cut, you looked up at the figure to whom the voice belonged to. 

You looked up and made eye contact with a little girl who was definitely not that much shorter than you. Judging from her middle school uniform, she was definitely between the ages of 11-13. She had brown hair tied into two pigtails, rosy cheeks that were the result of the weather outside, and slim grayish-yellow eyes that were awfully familiar. 

Your brain must’ve short-circuited as two and two didn’t click in your head and a good couple of seconds passed as you both stared at each other in complete silence, mirroring the shocked and confused expression both of you had on your faces. 

Just as you were about to open your mouth and say a word, you watched her face become completely red and she dashed up the stairs leaving you stunned and completely lost while your finger continued to bleed. 

✧･ﾟ: *✧･ﾟ:* 

Suna hummed to himself as he rummaged through his closet and tried to find the hoodie of his that you were asking for. He had changed out of his uniform into some more comfortable clothes and had his back towards the door. 

“Shit, where did I put it?” he muttered to himself and closed the doors to his closet. Just as he turned around, the door to his room opened making his eyebrows furrow in annoyance at the amount of force that was used to open his door. 

“Babe did you need something-”

“Nii-san! There’s a pretty girl in our kitchen!”

Oh, that was definitely not the voice of his girlfriend.

Suna sighed and went back to his task of finding the hoodie that you wanted, completely ignoring the sudden appearance of his little sister. However, a small smile tugged on his lips as he heard his sister call you pretty. 

His sister came into his room and looked at her brother in annoyance as she noticed how nonchalant he looked, “hello?? There’s a pretty girl downstairs that is definitely not ‘kaasan so who-” “Idiot. That’s my girlfriend”

His sister blinked at him once,

Then once again,

And one last time just for good measure.

“HUH??” she yelled with a face of disbelief. Suna looked at her weirdly and watched as she flopped down onto his bed with a bewildered expression as she tried to wrap her mind around the new information she was just given. 

“You? Girlfriend? For real?” she asked in shock. The concept of her brother actually getting a girlfriend not clicking in her head. “Are you sure she’s not some group project partner or something?” Suna scrunched his face, “Why do you look so shocked, I told you about her before-” “Nii-san I thought you were lying!” she exclaimed. Suna gave her a blank look and sighed, a part of him not even surprised that his sister thought he was joking.

He rolled his eyes and walked over to slap the back of her head, “Stupid. Why would I lie about that” She gave him an exaggerated shrug, “uh because she’s too pretty for you! She’s even cooking for you! I’m calling it right now that she’s too good for you” she stated and crossed her arms. 

“Rizu, you’re so stupid I swear to god-” he asked. Rizu shook her head “Don’t blame this on me!” Suna gave her an unamused look, “even ‘kaasan and ‘tosan know” Rizu rolled her eyes, “I thought they were in on the joke too!” she exclaimed.

Suna shook his head but took a sigh of relief as he finally found the hoodie he was looking for hanging on the back of his chair, “You’re such a twerp. Did you at least say hi to her?” he asked as he looked down at her once he got the hoodie. Rizu’s face flushed in embarrassment and she scratched the back of her head, “Kinda I guess” Suna narrowed her eyes as he caught on to how nervous she got. He suddenly got suspicious, “what did you do?”

“Nothing bad! I think? just don’t get mad ‘kay?” Suna already began to worry about what she was gonna say. 

“I came in and called for you, but I didn’t know she was cooking so she must’ve been startled and then next thing you know I come in, and we make eye contact and -oh yeah good job Nii-san, you might be stupid but you’ve got a good eye. She’s wow, took my whole breath away you know?- anyways I had to take a sec to admire her, but I think I startled her and I think she cut herself because her finger was bleeding and then I panicked and yeah now I’m here,” she said all in one breath and met eyes with his blank once as she gave him a bright smile. 

“Rizu”

“Hm?”

“I’m gonna throw out all your posters”

“Wait what?! No Nii-san come back!!”

✧･ﾟ: *✧･ﾟ:* 

“Rizu say sorry”

Your eyes shifted from your boyfriend who was wrapping a paw patrol bandaid on your finger to the same little girl who stood beside him and was sheepishly looking down at the floor and avoiding all eye contact with you. 

Suna sat you down on a chair in the dining room and a part of you was zoning out as you tried to wrap your mind around what was happening. Looking at the girl who has a striking resemblance to Suna, it didn’t take a genius to know that this was his sister. They had the same striking eyes, cocoa brown hair, and she was even a bit taller for her age. 

There was no denying it, this was definitely his sister. 

But for the life of you, you can’t remember if your quiet bean pole of a boyfriend ever told you of her. Surely you would’ve remembered if he had told you. Did he forget? Or maybe you just failed to notice her presence. Then again you had been over multiple times but you don’t ever remember seeing her. 

“Sorry” she muttered quietly and began to play with the material of her school uniform top. 

Suna rolled his eyes and nudged her with his elbow, “at least look at her when you’re gonna say it” Just as you were about to interject and say that it was okay and it really wasn’t a big deal, Rizu looked up at you, her eyes glassy and her lip slightly jutting out as she puffed her cheeks, “I’m so sorry! You’re very pretty! My head malfunctioned! Please don’t break up with Nii-san! He’s lonely!” she cried. Your eyes widened, taken back by her “apology” and Suna only rolled his eyes and clicked his tongue in annoyance.  

“I-it’s fine really, it’s just a small cut anyways, no biggie Rizu-chan” you assured.

At the way you said her name, Rizu’s whole mood flipped. Her eyes instantly sparkled and she looked up at you with a face of adoration. She wiped away her tears away with the sleeve of her top and harshly pushed her brother to the side making him let go of your hands as he stumbled over. Your eyes widened at the amount of strength inside the little girl in front of you as she managed to push away your 6ft tall boyfriend to the side like it was nothing. 

“Really? Are you sure it’s okay? Y/n right? I’m gonna call you Y/n-chan! I think we’d make great friends” she beamed, her eyes still twinkling as she looked at you with an excited daze. “How come we’ve never met before? I thought Nii-san was lying about you. Do you like drama? how about musicals? You can come to my show next week! And are you sure you’re dating Nii-san? You can run now I can distract him for you-” your mind couldn’t even process the words she was saying with how fast she was talking. You felt your palms starting to get clammy and a part of you began internally panicking at how overwhelmed you were feeling.

In Rizu’s perspective, she had always wanted an older sister but was instead cursed with (in her words) a musty older brother. Now that she knew of his girlfriend, she wasn’t gonna let the opportunity slip away. They were gonna become the best of friends. She knew it.

You laughed nervously and nodded along during her incoherent ramble before turning to Suna with a slight look of panic as you didn’t know what to do or how to handle her sudden change of emotions and the never ending fountain of words leaving her mouth. 

Suna sensed your need for his help, he knew that little kids were never really your strong point. Along with Kita, you also lived with his little siblings who were your little cousins. They were the ages of 4 and 9 and you often complained to him about how they gave you a headache with how loud and rambunctious they were. 

He had to hold back a laugh at how panic you began to look when his sister began to talk your ear off. She kept switching topics and was now rambling on about how pretty you were and asking what moisturizer you used because your skin looked so soft and why you decided to date her brother who she considered looked like a malnourished raccoon. 

Shaking his head and holding back a smile, he walked over and flicked his sister’s forehead making her stop midway into her sentence and whine. “The hell was that for!” she cried as she rubbed the sore spot on her head. 

Suna rolled his eyes at her dramatics and stuffed one of his hands into his pockets while the other found its way to rest on the small of your back, drawing shapes on the cotton fabric of the black hoodie that he slipped onto your figure when he got back downstairs. “Stop being so rude brat. Relax and introduce yourself first before you start thinking about getting buddy-buddy already” he scolded in his usual bored tone.

You were baffled. Seeing your boyfriend act like a responsible big brother was something you were definitely not prepared to see today. 

Hell, you didn’t even know he had a sister until literally a couple of minutes ago. 

Suna felt you staring at him and looked down at you with one of his brows slightly raised up as if he was asking if you were okay. Before you could reassure him that you were fine, Rizu cleared her throat and took a step back from you. 

She put a hand on her hip while she proudly pointed her thumb to her chest as she looked at you with a confident and prideful smile. “Suna Rizue, Rizu for short, Class 2-B Representative and Vice president of the Nobara Middle School drama club” she exclaims proudly. She flipped away one of her pigtails back behind her shoulder before crossing her arms, the same prideful smile never leaving her lips while her eyes had a flash of mischievousness in them. “I’m also known around this household as the prettiest Suna sibling. ‘Kaasan said so herself” she spoke triumphantly. 

You stifled a laugh as Suna clicked his tongue and muttered “dramatic brat” under his breath. 

As you felt yourself slowly relax, you stood from your seat, realizing not too long after that you were barely taller than his little sister but chose to ignore that minor detail, you extended your hand out to his sister and watched the way her face lit up. “L/n Y/n, Class 2-5 and member of the Inarizaki art club. While your brother is cute, I have to agree that you are the prettier Suna sibling” you joked and turned to Suna momentarily with a teasing glint with your eyes. Suna only narrowed his eyes at you and furrowed his brows which made both you and Rizu laugh. 

You turned back to Rizu and smiled, “It’s nice to meet you Rizu-chan, Rin doesn’t really bring you up much-” or ever “so I’m sorry it took so long for us to meet.”

Rizu shook her head, “It’s okay! Nii-san talks about you sometimes but I thought he was just lying. He’s kind of lame and he zones out a lot so I thought you were just some weird figment of his imagination that he made to cope with his loneliness” your jaw dropped, were kids always this blunt? 

Rizu shrugged and pulled her phone out of her backpack, “But whatever, I guess the universe felt bad for him and decided not to make him some lonely loser. Anyways, can we exchange numbers Y/n-chan? I wanna send you Nii-sans baby photos” she smiled and looked up at you hopefully. At the sound of Suna’s baby photos being offered up on the table, you quickly nodded and typed in your contact info into her phone. 

Suna’s jaw dropped ever so slightly before scoffing and looking away as he crossed his arms. “Can’t believe my own girlfriend is ganging up on me with my sister” he thought in disbelief. 

“Rizu-chan you’re brother and I are gonna make some hot pot, want some?” you asked as you handed her phone back into her hands. Rizu nodded enthusiastically, “that sounds great! Can I help? Please!” she asked in a hopeful tone as she brought her hands together. You laughed and nodded and watched her beam and skip away to the kitchen. 

Before following her, you turned around to look up at Suna with a frown on your face and your arms crossed over your chest. Suna looked back at you, unsure of why you were giving him that look. “What?” he asked, which only made you look at him in disbelief at his cluelessness. You scoffed and rolled your eyes before making your way towards him and slapping his arm, “You idiot! You never told me you had a little sister” you hissed. 

Suna blinked at you, “I didn’t?” he asked, genuinely confused, while raising one of his eyebrows. You looked at him incredulously and shook your head, “no!” you exclaimed. “God I can’t believe you didn’t tell me” you muttered and looked away, cheeks warming up in embarrassment.

Suna eyed your actions and sighed knowing that he must’ve upset you. If he’s being honest, he didn’t mean to keep you in the dark about his sister. He just always had his mind on you whenever the two of you would hang out so he truthfully forgot about his sister whenever you two were together. He sighed, he leaned back to sit on the edge of the dining room table before grabbing your arm and pulling you closer to his chest. 

When you didn’t budge against him, he wrapped his arms around your shoulders and he leaned his head on your shoulders before muttering a quiet, “sorry” into the fabric of his hoodie. A couple seconds passed before you gave in and wrapped your arms around his waist, embracing his warmth. 

Truthfully you weren’t upset or mad at him, just a bit embarrassed that you never knew about his sister until literally a couple of moments ago. You remember how nervous you were when you first met his parents and felt all those nerves coming back because you wanted to impress his little sister. 

You pulled away first and scratched the back of your neck, “It’s fine Rin I’m not mad. If anything I’m just a bit embarrassed that I never noticed. I mean I’ve met your parents and been over multiple times. Plus I’ve slept over like twice already!” you exclaimed. 

Suna moved his arms off your shoulder and used one to support his weight on the table while the other moved your hair away from your face and tucked some strands behind your ear. “It’s not your fault, The brat is always away doing her drama club stuff or whatever so she doesn’t get back until I’ve already walked you home for the night. For the sleepover, I think it’s just a coincidence that she would be away while you were over” he said and you nodded. 

Suna stared at you for a moment, he caught onto how uneasy you looked and immediately figured out why. “Babe, don’t worry about impressing Rizu too much. Trust me, she already likes you a lot” he said while using his thumb to rub the side of your neck gently. 

You nodded slowly before looking up at him with a confused expression, “how did you forget to tell me huh?” you asked. Suna thought back for a moment before shrugging nonchalantly, “I only think of you when we’re together, the brat is old enough to take care of herself” he admitted bluntly.

Your cheeks warmed up and you chuckled making Suna’s chest erupt in butterflies at the sight of your smile. “Calling your sister a brat is kind of rude you know?” you teased. He looked at you with an unamused expression, “you call your little cousins' demon spawns as if that’s any better” he pointed out. You opened your mouth but quickly closed it as you realized he was right. 

Suna pushed himself off of the table and walked towards you and you already saw the mischievous look in his eyes. He leaned down, his lips just barely brushing over yours, “am I forgiven?” he asked in a hushed tone. Your face quickly turned into a bright shade of red once you realized how close he got. While the offer was tempting and his lips were right there, you remembered that his sister was only just a couple feet away from the two of you and you didn’t want to risk her seeing anything. 

You didn’t answer and only looked away, flustered, which made Suna chuckle. He pecked the corner of your lips before straightening himself up, “I’ll take that as a yes” he smirked, making you roll your eyes. 

Suna then grabbed your shoulders and turned you around as he pushed you into the kitchen where his little was sitting on top of the counter wearing a blue apron while a pink folded apron was in her hands. 

She looked up at the two of you entering the kitchen, she smiled at you and noticed how flustered you. She shot her brother a look of disgust. “Ew don’t tell me you were making out in the dining room. So gross Nii-san” she commented as her brother walked towards her to grab the extra apron in her hands. 

Suna looked at her with his normal bored and lazy expression, “shut it brat” he said before turning his back and making his way towards you. Rizu rolled her eyes and turned her attention back onto her phone. It wasn’t until she started to hear the two of you banter when she put down her phone in her lap and watched the way you and her brother interacted. 

She listened to you ask about what vegetables he would want in the hot pot and watched as he moved behind your back and pushed your hair over your shoulder so he could tie the strings of the pink apron behind your neck. 

The sight was strange and oddly sweet. Rizu always thought that her brother would be a terrible boyfriend. He was quiet, borderline lazy, and had no romantic bone in him. He seemed like the type of partner who would do nothing but the bare minimum when they’re in a relationship. He was often annoyed at the sight of other couples and he never had much interest in being in a relationship himself which was partly the reason why Rizu didn’t think to believe him when he told their parents that he had a girlfriend out of the blue one day.

[“Rintarou stop playing around” Their mother chuckled. 

“No for real, I have a girlfriend and she wants to go stargazing so I’ll be home late” he said monotonically before slipping on his shoes and heading out the door.

Rizu watched as her parents exchanged a lost expression with a mix of disbelief towards each other. Part of them were surprised, part of them were happy, but part of them didn’t know if he was playing around or not. 

“Did you know about this?” Their mother asked their Dad who was grabbing a glass from the cupboard. Their Dad only shook his head, “No. You think that’s why he’s been so busy lately?” he asked only to receive a clueless shrug from his wife. 

Rizu rolled her eyes and jumped up from the couch to face her parents. “Come on this is Nii-san we’re talking about. He’s probably just lying. He can’t even talk to girls, let alone get a full on girlfriend”]

“That statement didn’t age well” Rizu thought.

Her eyes followed the way he had the smallest smile on his face as he adjusted your apron, asking afterwards if it was comfortable or if you needed him to adjust it better. Once you told him it was okay, he moved onto gathering your hair into his hands and tying it back with the small black silk band he had around his wrist. Suna placed his hands back onto your shoulders to turn you around to face him. He brought his hand over your face and moved the fly-aways to the side while tucking the loose pieces behind your ear. 

After he was done, you stood on your tippy-toes and pressed a kiss onto his cheek and whispered a quiet “thank you Rin Rin.” She narrowed her eyes and had to hold back her urge to laugh at how the tips of his ears lit up into a bright shade of red. It was then that she concluded one thing:

“he’s so fucking whipped” she muttered under her breath.

✧･ﾟ: *✧･ﾟ:* 

“Wait are you serious? He really gave you a can of lemonade for your birthday?” you asked looking up from the meat you were slicing in bewilderment as Rizu nodded. “Mhm! It wasn’t even the brand I liked, it was the generic ones that had too much sugar” she explained as she moved past you to set the bowl of mushrooms she had cut up with the other vegetables. 

You turned to look at Suna who was sitting on a stool by the kitchen island with his attention fully on his phone. “Is this true?” you questioned. Suna didn’t even look up from his phone as he simply replied, “she likes lemonade.”

 You stifled a laugh at his answer and Rizu only scowled. She nudged your arm and whispered “I dunno how you put up with him” into your ear making you giggle. 

Cooking with the Suna siblings was definitely interesting, to say the least. You weren’t surprised to see that Rizu was a complete polar opposite from her brother. Judging from her first words to you, you knew that she was a lot more outspoken than her brother. While Suna was quiet, Rizu spoke as if she had a microphone taped onto her mouth. She was talkative and energetic while Suna always seemed like he was close to shutting off at any given moment. 

Their dynamic was different, to say the least. Rizu lived up to the annoying little sister type while her brother looked as if he could care less about whatever she did. However, all siblings had at least one thing in common and between them, and you figured out what that thing was quickly. 

They both shared a high level of pettiness. 

If one said something the other didn’t like, they’d find something expose worthy to embarrass the other person. It was a constant back and forth of how could embarrass the other person the worst. 

When Rizu told you that Suna didn’t learn how to tie his shoelaces until he was 8, Suna told you that she failed her math test. When Suna told you that she once slipped on stage mid-performance, Rizu told you that Suna came to their mother when he needed dating advice. 

[ Nii-san shut up! The stage was slippery and my costume was a long dress!” Rizu cried out dramatically. Suna rolled his eyes, “the costumes of your classmates were long but you didn’t see them tripping all over the stage” he teased. Rizu’s jaw dropped, a fire inside lit up as she felt herself getting angry with her older brother. ‘Two can play at this game’ she thought. 

Rizu scoffed and turned to face her body towards you as she leaned onto the counter. “You know Yn-chan, Nii-san always asks ‘kaasan about what he should do to impress you! You know that sunflower field date? He and ‘Kaasan planned that whole thing together ‘cause Nii-san is a clueless idiot and didn’t know what to do” You turned your head to the side and looked at Rizu with a curious expression before briefly looking at your boyfriend who had tensed up. 

“Really now? Rin had me convinced that he did all the planning himself” you teased as you narrowed your eyes at him. Suna huffed, “she just let me use her card to pay for the stupid tickets, I did everything else.” he muttered. 

You chuckled, noticing the way his cheeks puffed out and how the tips of his ears started to turn red. You smiled as you nodded at what Rizu saying, momentarily glancing at him every so often. 

How cute.

Suna then looked up from his phone, a devious smirk on his lips as he knew the perfect moment to us in order to one-up her previous statement.

“Babe did you know that Rizu sleeps with an Eren body pillow-”

“shut up!!” ]

It was a never-ending petty battle between the two siblings. 

Nonetheless, you could tell that they still cared about each other. Albeit in their own special way. 

Rizu rolled her eyes and turned to you and leaned closer, whispering loud enough so that her brother could hear, “Y/n-chan are you sure you’re actually his girlfriend? Like willingly? If he’s paying you then I can guarantee that he’s not paying you enough. Blink twice if you need help-hey!” she whined as she felt a mushroom hit her arm. You both turned to Suna who had a smug smile on his face, “stop talking shit about me brat.” Rizu narrowed her eyes and crossed her arms, “or what Nii-san?” she challenged. “I’ll tell ‘kaasan that you walked home with that boy yesterday,” he shot back. 

Rizu’s smirked dropped, “hey! You promised you wouldn’t tell her!” she whined. Suna shrugged his shoulders, “I lied” he replied simply. Rizu scoffed, “I can’t believe you’re dating such a meanie!” she exclaimed and began to angrily stir the broth in the pot.

You watched her actions momentarily before walking around the kitchen island and towards Suna and whacking his arm with a towel you were using to dry your hands. “Stop being so mean to your sister!” you scolded. He looked at you with an unamused expression as he rubbed his arm, “she was mean to me first,” he defended himself bluntly. You rolled your eyes and turned your back to go and start frying the beef.

A comfortable silence came into the kitchen as you and his sister continued cooking. Of course, this silence didn’t last long as the two siblings would go back to their back and forth bantering but nonetheless, there was a comfortable and homey aura in the atmosphere. 

The hot pot was coming together and you occasionally would have Suna try the meat and make sure that it tasted okay. Suna may not be the one cooking, but he had offered his assistance early on by cutting some of the tofu and cooking the udon noodles. You and Rizu would trail off and have your own conversation, missing the way Suna would glance up at the two of you, his hands propping up his phone as he took photos of the two of you laughing and joking around together. 

The rest of the night went by smoothly. Once the hot pot was ready, you asked Suna to prepare the table while you and Rizu set the food down. Since it was nearing 6pm by the time you and Rizu had finished cooking, you all considered this an early dinner. You sat beside Suna while Rizu sat across from you as you all enjoyed a warm bowl of hot pot during a cold winter night. 

Suna watched as you and Rizu talked about a certain anime you both had been watching and took everything within him to not smile at the moment. Seeing you interact with his sister warmed his heart and a part of him was relieved that you two got along well. 

He knew that Rizu was a bit overbearing and you weren’t a big fan of younger children so he was worried that you two would clash. 

But alas, seeing that two of you laugh together put him at ease. 

After dinner, Rizu knew better than to try and third wheel you and her brother. She could see from the way his shoulder kept brushing past yours and how his hands kept getting closer and closer to yours during dinner that he was itching to get any sort of alone time with you. 

She could be a little shit and steal you from him during another day.

Before scurrying off to her room, Rizu gave you a high five before exclaiming once again that you’re really pretty and way too good for her stupid brother while also saying that she would text you his baby photos later. You laughed and nodded along and she flashed Suna a cheeky smile before running up the stairs. 

Once his sister was finally gone, Suna grabbed your wrist and dragged you over to the kotatsu sofa in his living room and practically dragged you down. “Well aren’t you clingy” you teased as he pulled up the blankets over your legs. Suna rolled his eyes, muttering a quiet “shut up” as he laid down and made himself comfortable under the blankets. 

You mirrored his actions, shuffling under the blankets and finding a comfy spot to lay on. Suna’s hands found their way around your waist and he moved you closer to him, letting your head rest against his chest. You couldn’t help but laugh at how clingy he was being as you watched him shift so you were laying on top of him while he hugged you as if you were a teddy bear. 

Suna leaned his head back comfortably on the couch cushion as closed his eyes and a content smile came over his face. “You’re so warm,” he muttered quietly. You smiled “I think that’s just the kotatsu heating Rin,” you said quietly muttered into his chest. “No it’s definitely you, I always feel warm when I’m with you” he whispered. 

You smiled, not failing the way his words made butterflies erupt in your stomach “how cheesy” you teased while momentarily lifting your head so you could poke his cheek. “Whatever” he sighed, his arms around your waist slowly holding you just a bit tighter. “I thought we were supposed to be studying Rin” you said quietly. “Tomorrow, too comfortable right now” he answered back. You giggled, “you just want me to come back huh.” Suna didn’t even bother to deny, only simply nodding and humming a faint “mhm” before relaxing his body. 

A wave of comfortable silence came once again as you two embraced each other's warmth. Your ear was pressed against his chest and the steady rhythm of his heartbeat lulling you into sleep. Slowly but surely you found yourself getting drowsy from your comfortable position and you no longer had any energy left in you to stop your eyes from closing.

Suna wasn’t surprised to hear the faint sounds of your gentle snoring not too long after. For a moment he sat up, careful not to wake you, and he took a moment to just admire you. How soft, gentle, and unbothered you looked in his arms. He removed one of his hands from your waist and gently rubbed your arm, he stiffened for a moment as watched as you shuffled slightly before relaxing against him once again. His body loosened up and a small smile spread on his lips, ‘How could someone be so damn pretty’ he thought. 

He admired you for a moment longer. His head replaying the memories you two made in the past 5 months while silently looking forward to what you two had in store together in the future. 

He petted your head gently as he wondered starting about what he should do for your 6 months. You’ve been talking about ice skating after seeing it in a movie so he considered that as an option. The idea of seeing you excitedly skating under the twinkling lights of the ice rink made Suna excited. He knew he couldn’t skate, but he didn’t really care. Just sharing the moment with you was enough for him. 

Slowly, his own exhaustion from the day soon caught up to him and soon enough he was getting tired as well. He shuffled back down and rested his head on the cushions. He lifted his hands off your waist to adjust the blanket over you two, make sure you were all snuggled up and warm. 

Just before he surrendered himself to sleep, he pressed a soft kiss on the top of your head and another one on your forehead. Whispering a faint “love you” before closing his eyes, failing to notice the small smile that grew on your lips.

However, he didn’t fail to feel the heart that your finger softly drew on his chest. 

✧･ﾟ: *✧･ﾟ:* 

Bonus Scene 

“Nii-san can I borrow a pencil?”

Suna looked up from his phone and narrowed his eyes at his sister who was standing by his doorway. Suna looked at her blankly, for a moment he grew suspicious of why she suddenly wanted a pencil but he was honestly far too tired to even try and figure out what she really wanted. “It’s on my desk,” he said plainly as he nodded his head over to his desk on the other side of his room. 

Rizu nodded and made her way over to his desk that was placed in front of his window. Rizu came in front of his desk and scanned the surface for what she needed. He had an open notebook with unfinished work displayed in the middle while his pen holders lined up the top of his desk. 

Rizu saw a pencil sitting inside his pen holder and reached out her hands to take a hold of it. Just as she was about to turn around and leave his room so she could finish up her work, she noticed something taped on the side of his wall that was being covered up by the curtain blowing in front of it. 

While she knew it was wrong to snoop around other people's things, she was empty of blackmail against him and that reason alone was enough for her to justify her actions. She turned around to look back at her brother and saw that he was fairly distracted and took that moment as an opportunity to push the curtain aside. 

However, instead of finding incriminating blackmail, all she saw was a picture of you and him taped from what looked like to be the inside of the photobooths at the movie theatres. The first picture was of you two smiling (well more you than him), the second was you kissing cheek, the 3rd one he had pulled you to sit on top of his lap and he was now the one kissing your cheek, and the last photo was the two of you smiling genuinely to each other, paying no attention to the camera as you both got too caught up in the moment. 

“I hate how they're so cute,” she admitted in her head.

Rizu’s eyes then drifted from the wall that had a bunch of other taped printed photos of you and him to his window sill where a bunch of little trinkets were displayed along with a singular photo frame. 

Her eyes looked over the little trinkets. He had some action figures and random knick-knacks. Nothing interesting in her opinion. “Typical boy stuff, nothing I can use against him,” she thought. Looking past the small transformers' action figure, she kept looking at his window sill until she stopped and stared at a paper box full of little things inside. She squinted her eyes, her eyes having a hard time seeing what it was with how dark it was in his room. She leaned closer and upon further inspection, it finally dawned on her what was inside the box.

It was a bunch of little origami strawberries. 

A bunch of little origami strawberries piled on top of each other, some had wrinkled leaves while others had bent corners. Rizu then looked back at his desk and saw a small stack of red and green papers neatly set on the corner of his desk. 

“weird,” she thought. 

Her eyes shifted from the paper box to the small white square frame where there was a photo of you inside sitting at the edge of the window sill. 

Surrounding you were rows and rows of sunflowers that were facing towards the sun. You were clad in a pretty dress with small floral patterns along with a small sun hat on your head that was tipped back so the sun was hitting your face. Your hair was blown back behind your shoulder, your left hand was holding a bunch of sunflowers while your right hand was resting on top of your hat, holding it down so it wouldn’t be blown away by the wind. Your eyes were closed and you had the warmest smile on your lips as you were basking into the afternoon sunshine. The sunlight was kissing your skin so perfectly that she swore you were glowing. You looked so peaceful, relaxed, and content. It was clear that you weren’t trying to pose for the camera, this photo captured you and all your natural beauty. 

You looked ethereal. 

She looked back at her brother and back at the basket of origami strawberries and the photo frame and concluded one other thing.

“what a fucking simp”

a/n: yes it’s may but this story takes place in december oops

UGH WORDS CANT DESCRIBE HOW SUNA AND Y/N MAKE ME SO HAPPY. DEADASS THIS EXTRA WARMED MY HEART AND SO I HOPE IT WARMED YOUR HEART TOO. 

I promised a while back that I was going to make an extra that featured suna’s little sister. Personally, I feel like Suna’s sister with be the complete opposite of him. Hence why I wrote her to be very dramatic and enthusiastic. He’s probably able to put up with the miya twins bullshit because his sister already made him go through so much LMAO

I’m uncertain if this is going to be my last extra for club stupid. I have one last long fic idea in mind but truthfully I’m not sure when I’ll get to writing it </3

Regardless, thank you guys so much for the love and appreciation for this series. It really means a lot to me and I’m glad to see people continue to enjoy it :)

a/n 2: ayo where do i find myself a suna? genuinely asking and in need of help. 

taglist! [CLOSED] @aircorumble​@elianetsantana​ @versatilewindow @introvertatitsfinest​ @aristatrois​ @mizukisonoda​ @amberisnotcrazy​ @kritiiiii​ @iloveyouasmuchaspoohloveshoney​ @a-moon-fairy ​ @akaasht​ @lotusweebs​ @marvelous-maxi​ @laughingismorefun​ @hhmnvm​ @sweetyrina​ @honeydrip​ @miracleboy420​ @rachelexe​ @charsdummb​ @mjoork @loser-keiji​ @dinablossom​ @ntimacy​ @kac-chowsballs​@unhappyraspberry @sbaepsae ​ @doebopeepeebbod @missalienqueen​@ssuna​ @violenthead​ @unstableye​ @tycrackculture​​ @a-applepi​​ i @lollyzen​​ @aisawa-reo​​ @ashybitch89​ @sunflowerirl​ @sapphicstarss​ @melodiamore​ @valrubiii @urbasicaveragegirl @mint-mai @4kaashl @sugawsites @anngelllla @applekenm @bumblebeesofspace @dreamstormings @milkingkageyama @tsumu-core @luvelyxp @aquariarose

[it’s been a long time since I updated this series so i apologize if I am unable to tag you 🥲]

[cacoetheswriting]

lonely this christmas

Pairing: Spencer Reid x fem!Reader Warnings: mild mild cursing, mainly just fluff !!! Word Count: 2.9k Summary: Reader admits to Spencer she will be spending the holidays alone but he’s got other plans.

A/N: starting off the month of december with a christmas centred fic!! hope you like it <3

-

Being alone on Christmas wasn’t unfamiliar to Spencer. In fact it was pretty much the opposite. Being alone on Christmas was typical, ordinary. 

The nature of his job being what it was, he usually ended up working over the holidays anyway. Therefore he never made any plans with his mom because most times he just ended up disappointing her. Being alone at Christmas was fine. Being a disappointment however, completely different story.

As years went by Diana stopped noticing his absence. Of course if Spencer was to visit her at the sanitarium over Christmas she would welcome him with open arms, but he never does. He used to feel incredibly guilty about it, but that too passed with time. 

There was no indication that this year would be any different so he kept his schedule clear. However, the twenty-fifth of December approached fast. Very fast. The closer it got the more it was shaping to be the first holiday season, in a long time, the team would get to spend with their families. And even Spencer found himself considering going home to Nevada; seeing his mom. 

A tab of the airline website was constantly open on his desktop. He checked it regularly; hovering over the option to buy a ticket. 

That’s how you caught him one day. 

You observed from your own desk as Spencer leaned back in his chair, one hand still holding the mouse. The wheels inside his brain clearly turning; evaluating all of the options and possible outcomes.

“Hey, doctor.” You called out grabbing his attention. “If you spend any more time thinking about whether you should go home for Christmas, all the good seats will be gone.” 

He chuckled. “I guess you’re right.” “As always.” You shot him a playful wink as he turned to once again look at his screen. 

“There. Bought.” Spencer exclaimed after a brief moment of silence. “My mom will be happy.” “When was the last time you seen her?” You asked curiously. “It has been more than six months at this stage.” He answered while standing up. 

“Coffee?” He gestured to the empty mug on your desk. You nodded. “You read my mind.” 

The two of you walked towards the kitchenette in the office. It was quite late on a Friday night meaning everyone had cleared out for the weekend. Only the usual suspects remained; Spencer and you.

“When was the last time you were home for Christmas?” “Three years ago. How about you?” Spencer asked, tilting his head slightly to look at you. “Oh, I honestly don’t even remember.” You replied shrugging your shoulders.

“So your family must have been happy to hear you were getting the chance this year to spend the holidays with them.” The brunette doctor switched on the coffee machine and leaned against the wall while you elegantly hopped up onto the counter. 

“Actually, I didn't tell them.” 

Spencer furrowed his eyebrows. “How come?” 

He watched intently as you chewed on your bottom lip - a bad habit you failed miserably to break. In that second of silence you wondered whether you should tell him the truth. He was always so open with you, honest. It would only be fair to repay him with the same sincerity. So you took in a quick breath, and exhaled it quietly before looking up to meet his amiable gaze. 

“My mom and I got into this huge fight a couple of weeks ago. She tried to set me up with this guy because in her eyes it’s unacceptable that I’m single. She doesn't think it’s right that my younger sister is getting married next summer and I haven't had one relationship in my life that lasted longer than a month.” A soft sigh escaped you. “I told her to butt out, using much harsher language than that of course.” Your mouth twirled into a smile; trying to make light of this conversation. Being no stranger to your frequent use of profanity Spencer smirked. 

“We haven't spoken since. She hasn't formally invited me over for the holidays which she always does, even if she knows I won’t be able to make it, and whenever I bring it up with my dad or my siblings they change the topic so.” You shrugged once again while nervously dangling your legs. “It’s easier not to go.” 

Spencer nodded slowly, taking in all of the information you just unloaded. Shaking your head you reached over to grab the coffee pot and poured some into your mug. 

“I’m sorry doctor. I didn’t mean to just lay it all on you like that.” 

He stepped towards you. “Don’t be.” Holding his own cup in front of him, he smiled kindly. “Thank you for telling me.” You began to pour the black hot liquid into his mug; a slight shake to your hand. “Thank you for listening.” “Anytime.”

Spencer placed his full cup on the counter beside you and began to rummage through the cupboards in search for sugar. “Y/N I gotta ask, and obviously if you don't want to answer me you don't have to.” He cleared his throat as you took a sip of your bitter black coffee. “Why didn’t you want to go on a date with the man your mom suggested?” 

Once he successfully located the sugar, he straightened his shirt and plopped two cubes into the hot beverage. He offered you one but you shook your head, taking another sip. 

“I get that it’s not really my place but it just seems a small price to pay for being able to spend Christmas with your loved ones.” 

“If you must know doctor, I prefer to meet people through work. Prison systems and such.” You joked, a wide smile gracing your features. Spencer rolled his eyes. “And how is that going for you?” “Surprisingly well. I have a date shortly after we’re back from the Christmas break.” He arched his brow and smiled at you; playing along as you continued. “Solid guy. Only murdered five people.”

You beamed at the brunette doctor who was grinning back. “Maybe I should consider adding prisons to my dating pool.” You let out an over-exaggerated  gasp and placed your free hand over your chest. “Is doctor Spencer Reid really on the market?” 

Spencer shook his head. His light curls bouncing finely, matching his every move. He lowered his lips to the brim of his mug and took a sip of his coffee before focusing on you. “No, but for the right girl I’d consider it.” 

Without thinking you raised your free arm and adjusted his tie. Flattening down the edge of his collar, you could feel his eyes on you. Yet for some reason you were suddenly afraid to look up and meet his gaze. Strange. Or maybe not so strange.

“Lucky girl.” You said in a mere whisper. Letting your hand fall, you stepped off the counter with a light bounce. Spencer cleared his throat and the two of you walked back to your seats. 

The next few hours were spent working in silence. You tried to focus on the mountain of paperwork on your desk, yet instead found yourself glancing at the young doctor every other second - secretly hoping he would also be peeking up at you. And he was. Just not when you were looking at him.

“Y/N if you want you can come with me to Nevada, spend Christmas with me and my mom. ” Spencer proposed out of the blue. He got up out of his chair and grabbed his jacket, slowly putting it on. You smiled at him. “Thank you doctor but I will honestly be okay alone.” Pause. “Plus, I wouldn't want to interfere.” 

He was about to protest, say you wouldn't be interrupting, but he bit his tongue. He didn't want to seem pushy. “If you change your mind, let me know.” He reached for his bag and threw the strap over his head. “Just do it quickly or all the good seats will be gone.” He teased. You giggled. “I’ll be sure to keep that in mind. ” 

The brunette agent hesitated. He swayed on his heel for a moment before approaching your desk. “Can I give you a ride home?” He asked, eyes locking with yours. “There’s still a couple of things I want to get done but thank you for the kind offer.” Spencer nodded. A faint look of disappointment appeared on his face. “Goodnight Y/N.” “Goodnight doctor.” 

Christmas was upon you in the blink of an eye. On the last day before break the team exchanged Secret Santa presents before enjoying a pizza party. This year you had Penelope who squealed over her gift as everyone watched in amusement; you included. Resting against the wall, you observed as the blonde jumped around the room with joy. Her smile made you smile. 

“Good job on Penelope’s gift.” Spencer appeared beside you holding two plastic cups filled to the brim with eggnog. He handed you one before making himself comfortable next to you, his arm pressed gently to yours. “I don’t know what you're talking about doctor.” You responded, tilting your head slightly to look at him. 

“I like your Christmas sweater.” A small smile circled your lips as you reached out to flick the little bell sown onto the top of the Santas hat on his jumper. Spencer chuckled. “Thank you. You know, I really couldn't decide between this or the one with the Home Alone reference.” “Ah, the trusted Merry Christmas Ya Filthy Animal sweater.” “That would be the one, yes.” The two of you beamed at each other. 

“I’m surprised you know what Home Alone is doctor.” You teased, nudging him playfully in the arm. Spencer laughed. “If I’m being honest, I was more intrigued by the booby traps than the plot of the movie.” He retorted as you sipped on the eggnog; slightly rolling your eyes at his response. “Of course you were. Don’t tell me you tested them out too?” 

He averted his gaze without responding, clearly a little embarrassed. “Well...” 

You couldn't help but giggle. Slowly, you leaned in towards him so that your lips were now at his ear. The brunette agent shivered as your hot breath hit his skin, however he didn't move away. 

“Don’t worry doctor, I did too.” You whispered. 

Instantly, he turned to look at you once again. His face was now inches away from yours, and as he stared oddly into your eyes the air caught in your throat. The two of you hovered right there for a moment, not moving and quite soundless, simply feeling each other's presence - as if there was no-one else in the room, no party. 

Eventually you broke the eye contact and took a step to your right, moving away from him. Suddenly feeling timid, you took another sip of your beverage while your free hand ran through your hair. Spencer also looked away. His mind racing a million miles per hour; he should have kissed you, right? No. Not in front of all these people, your colleagues. That would be bad. Unprofessional. Would you have even wanted him to kiss you? Did you like him like that? He hoped you did.

The party soon drew to a close. You were lost in conversation with Emily while Spencer was trying to teach Morgan and Rossi some card tricks. Your gaze kept averting in the direction of the young doctor every once in a while; Emily of course noticed. “Tell me again why you’re not going to Nevada with our resident genius?” A puzzled look now present on your face. “How did you-” 

“Reid told Morgan who told Garcia who told me.” She interrupted. You laughed at the ridiculousness of what she just came out of her mouth. “It’s like I’m in high school all over again.” She laughed under her breath.

There was a brief moment of silence.

“So, why aren’t you going?” Emily pried. A quiet sigh escaped your lips. “Like I told him, I don’t want to interfere.” She rolled her eyes; not buying into your bullshit. “He wouldn't have invited you-” “Fuck, please I don’t want-” She raised her hands in front of her. “Okay, okay. I’m sorry.” 

Glancing at the time, you excused yourself wishing Emily a wonderful and happy Christmas. Quickly and quietly, you headed to your desk and put on your winter coat. As you grabbed your handbag you turned to face the remaining partygoers: “Happy holidays everyone!”. Your eyes briefly locked with Spencers who shot you a shy smile as you mouthed ‘Merry Christmas doctor.’ before hurrying out the door. 

Two days later it was the twenty-fifth of December. You woke up on your couch, having fallen asleep during Christmas movie marathon, to the sound of your phone ringing. 

Yawning, you reached for the device. Spencer. Answering, you pressed it to your ear and croaked; “Hello.”. 

“I hope I didn't wake you.” “You did actually.” You responded yawning once again and gradually scrambling to your feet. You ambled towards the kitchen, straight for the coffee maker. “But I could never be mad at you doctor.” “I’m glad to hear that.” 

There was a short pause.

“How are you?” He asked, his voice kind. “I’m okay, no need to worry about me. Shit-” “Y/N?”

“Sorry. I just realised I’m out of coffee grounds.”

Spencer chuckled on the other line. “It’s not funny doctor. I’ve no coffee and everything is closed because it’s Christmas.” “You could always switch to tea for the day.” Rolling your eyes, you smirked. “Right, because I’m such an avid tea drinker.” 

There was another short pause.

“How was your flight? How’s Nevada? How’s your mom?” You asked changing the topic, making conversation. The young doctor didn't respond. “Hey, are you there?” The line cut-off. Weird.

‘He’ll call back later.’, you thought and headed for your bathroom.

An hour later you were showered and dressed. You switched on the lights on your poorly decorated Christmas tree and were about to make yourself comfortable on the sofa when a knock on the door caught your attention. You scurried over, without looking through the peephole to see who it was, you opened it.

“Spencer.” 

“Merry Christmas Y/N.” 

The brunette doctor smiled as you furrowed your brows. “What are you doing here? I thought you were in Nevada.”

“I was. I got back early this morning.” 

He waited for you to invite him in before shimmying passed. He set down two tote bags on the kitchen counter before turning to look at you once again. Lost for words, you locked the door and approached the young doctor. Slowly you peeked inside the bags. “Supplies.” He simply stated while taking off his coat. 

“You didn’t really think I’d let you spend Christmas alone, did you?” 

Your heart skipped a beat. “You didn't have to do this doctor.” “I know.” He shrugged before reaching into one of the bags and unpacking the items. “I wanted to.” He held up a bag of coffee grounds and you couldn't help but giggle delicately. 

“Thank you.” Your fingers brushed his as you grabbed the bag sending a shiver down your spine. Spencer froze feeling the sensation too. Nervously, he let his hand fall but the half-smile on his face remained. 

“Where did you get this stuff anyway?” You asked as you walked around to the coffee machine. “I packed what I had at home.” Nodding, you began to prepare two cups. As the appliance whirred, you turned in your spot. “What about your mom? Wouldn't she have wanted to spend Christmas Day with you?” 

Spencer continued to unpack the bags, neatly placing each item on the counter in front of him. “We spent all of yesterday together.” Pause. “And besides, she’s the one that urged me to come here.” He peered up at you, resting his palms down on the kitchen counter. The second his hazel eyes locked with yours, the flush of your cheeks turned a slender pink. 

Not really thinking you ushered back towards him. The brunette doctor watched you attentively. Gently, you placed one hand on top of his and gave it a tender squeeze. “Lucky me.” You whispered staring deep into his eyes. 

Spencers smile spread wider in unison with yours. After a few seconds of pure comfortable silence, he cleared his throat. “Do you think your prisoner boyfriend would mind if I asked you out on a date?” A faint giggle escaped your lips as the shade of your jowl turned from pink to bright red. “Even if he does-” You took another step towards Spencer, closing the space between you. “-I think you could handle him.” 

Spencer chuckled. Using his free hand, he placed a loose strand of your hair behind your ear. His thumb stroked your cheek in the process and you angled into his pleasant touch. 

“Thank you for being here.” You muttered, unintentionally chewing on your bottom lip. 

He cupped your face as his gaze moved briefly down to your mouth before once again locking with yours. “Thank you for having me.” His voice soothing, not quite matching the fervour in his eyes. 

In the space of a single heartbeat, he leaned down and his lips crushed against yours passionately. You let go of his hand and placed both your palms on his chest; tugging lightly at his shirt to try and pull him in even closer. Spencer did not waste a second, his now free arm moved elegantly around your waist.

The two of you pulled away breathlessly. He gently pressed his forehead to yours as you smiled. “Merry Christmas doctor.” “Merry Christmas Y/N.”

-

masterlist

[vale-studies-ir]

Hello lovely people!

It seems that life made me take a leave of absence from tumblr. Thanks to all of you who have continued to interact with my page! I'm sorry if I've missed any messages or questions in the time that I've been away. I'm back now and I'll continue to share my journey with you all...

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In order to be able to keep moving forward, I think it's important to accept the past and move on. Accept any of the difficulties that happened, and see them as moments you've gone through that have made you stronger. My way of accepting and turning over a new page will be through this post.

I haven't shared too much information about my studies and how they've been going. My studyblr was very new, and I was using it more as a means for motivation by seeing all the wonderful things people in the community were doing. Little by little, I started to make posts of my own.

So let me formally introduce myself and share my ongoing journey...

My name is Valentina, I go by Vale for short. I jumped from graduating from my BA in International Relations and Political Science in the Spring of 2018 to starting my PhD studies in International Relations the Fall semester of that same year. No break, very smart... I know. That's only just the beginning. I'm not sure how it works abroad, but here doctoral students usually go through most of their studies being funded by a graduate assistantship. This pays tuition and provides a stipend through working as a TA (graduate teaching assistant). Of course they vary across universities and departments. When I was applying to the PhD program, one of my professors advised me not to accept if I was not given funding. There are only a limited number of spots that are given to incoming students each year that will be accepted as a TA.

In March of 2018 I received notification that I was accepted into the PhD program in International Relations at my university, however, the department could not guarantee funding for me. This put me at a loss, and I spend months wondering where this was going and what I would do. Because I'm an immigrant in the US, though I've been living here practically my whole life, I didn't have too many options. My mobility is constrained.. my access to scholarships is constrained (even though I may qualify for them in terms of academics and merit, migration status trumps over all of it). I was lost, to say the least. My family can't afford to have paid for this program or a Master's program out of pocket, and I am not able to take out student loans even if I wanted to.

Regardless of this all, I still attended the incoming graduate student orientation; which surprised the outgoing graduate program director. She did not think I would show up, considering the whole funding predicament. She and the new GPD told me that they would try to find something for me. On the first day of class, I showed up, still not knowing what would become of this situation. Not knowing if I would actually get to start the semester or not. We are usually given a week to pay tuition - because of status, I am considered an international student so my tuition came out to nearly $10,000 for three courses. That day, out of nowhere, I was told that the dean of our school (School of International and Public Affairs) was looking for a graduate assistant for new projects that he wanted to work on. In the span of a few hours, I ended up interviewing with him, being told that they would let me know because there was another student they were considering, and later being called and told that I got the position. I was ecstatic. I called my parents in tears. This was actually happening; I was actually going to be able to start my PhD.

It all happened so fast. It all seemed so exciting. The dean seemed very enthusiastic and pleased that I would be working with him. Things eventually took a turn for the worst...

Transitioning into graduate school itself is extremely difficult. Many graduate students find themselves experiencing heightened stress and strain on their mental health. I did not give myself the space to transition into graduate school without the added stress of being a doctoral student, without the added expectations. On top of that, the dean had not had a graduate assistant before. This was new for him too. The expectations of me were blurred and my contract would only last for a year to be considered for possible renewal (the typical TA contract in my original department lasts 4 years), this led to disaster. I needed this position to continue to fund my studies, so I needed to make sure that I was on top of my work expectations. Because these expectations were unclear, the dean's secretary took advantage. It seems they were short staffed, and I was given administrative tasks that did not belong to me. I was made to come in to the office for strictly 20 hours a week. (Our contract states that we work up to 20 hours a week). If I was ever sick and missed a day, that would be added onto the hours for the next week. So if I missed a day where I was supposed to be in the office for 5 hours, I'd have to be there for 25 hours the following week. A breach in the contract, I know - but who was I, a lowly student, against the dean? This office (a shared space) was not a place where a person could focus on studying. There were students coming in and out, loud conversations occurring, and having to see if the actual student employee in charge of taking phone calls was at their desk - if not, I would have to man the phone. While I was doing administrative tasks for the dean's secretary, the dean was having me create themed presentations and CO-LECTURE with him. Me, a person who had been an undergraduate student only months earlier. I had to create these presentations from scratch and know all of the material. All of my focus had to be on this. My performance in my own classes and mental health declined quickly. I could not focus, I could not get my reading assignments done, I felt unprepared. I felt like a failure.

After a year, I realized that it was not worth to have my tuition paid for if I could not focus on my classes and was set up for failure. It took a lot, but ultimately I turned down the contract renewal. Here comes the fun part. My GPA dropped tremendously. I graduated Magna Cume Laude just a year before. I developed depression and didn't realize it; to the point where a friend practically made me go to counseling. The office manager at my actual department knew what I was going through. I had shared a lot of my experience with her. She advocated for me. Because of this, I was told that there was a student who had been awarded an assistantship for the incoming Fall 2019 semester, but had decided not to take it. The contract was going to be made for me instead, for not 4 but for 5 years since I had only come in with a BA degree. When they ran it through the associate dean's office... it was denied. My GPA was lower than the threshold. A LOT lower. I was told by the GPD - the same woman who had just started her position that said she would help me, the woman that had gone on maternity leave during that whole year after she started meaning she was not aware of the situation - that I should really take my studies more seriously. She received a very long email from me and apologized afterwards, to say the least. Nothing could be done.

I had no funding, only savings and ended up working Full Time in Fall of 2019 in order to try to pay for 1 course, that costed me a little over $3,000. Somehow, even though I strongly considered it, I managed not to drop out. By this time, the majority of the courses I had taken before had INs - incomplete grades. Two of them had automatically turned into Fs. Things were not okay.

I got a bit of a mental break during that Fall semester. I worked in a friendly environment. The office manager pulled some strings and let me work as an office assistant there... so I was still at my department, but working as staff. It was a little awkward. I'm eternally grateful to her, she became a close friend. And because of her, someone at another department got word that there was a graduate student who needed funding.

This office manager was good friends with a recently graduated phd student from our department who is now working for a different center in the university. Because she was part of my department, many of my current colleagues know her, and are good friends with her. We spoke, I rushed to get my GPA up to the 3.0 threshold and with the help of my professor's I was able to be awarded an assistantship with that center. I started in December of 2019.

Again, I was ecstatic. Things were looking up. When I went in for the first time, I immediately felt a huge difference. It was a smaller, more homey place; and a lovely environment to be in. The people there were sweet and caring. I've gotten along with the few professors I've had the chance of meeting and working with.

Where did it start going downhill? The professor that recommended me (graduate from my home department) continuously requested that I work with her. Her reason being that I got along better with her (something that I was not aware of). Because she considered herself as my friend, professional lines were horribly blurred. I found myself doing additional work for her as a "favor for a friend." She then started having us meet multiple times a week for hours - distracting from the time I needed to actually get work done. This center does not cap classes - I've had to grade for up to 400 students in one semester. The meetings she scheduled were incredibly unproductive, and I found myself having to take extra time to get the grading done. Again, my own studies were effected. The past academic year went on like this. I ended up assisting in creating a new course and new assignments from scratch.

Later I noticed that something was wrong. I was doing way more work than stipulated by my contract. She was giving me access to her courses that I was not assigned to grade for. Instead of assisting for one course in the semester (the one with the highest enrollment), I was assisting for three. This was constantly under the guise of 'friendship'. How was I supposed to reject my 'friend'? When I tried to draw professional boundaries, I was met with resistance.

My mental health declined again in the fall and I missed a few of her scheduled meetings (meetings which she said were NOT mandatory). Because of this, she decided to throw me under the bus with the director and making it seem as if I was not actually working - when I was addressing students' needs and getting grades in. This worsened in the Spring. With the help of my counselor I finally got the courage to communicate with her. Albeit through text, because she's the type of person that does not allow you to get a word in during conversation.

"On that note, there’s something I’ve wanted to talk about. I’ve been struggling with concentration and fatigue. This is something that I’ve been working on with my doctor to try to find solutions. I’ve noticed that being in Zoom meetings in general where there’s casual conversation makes it exceptionally difficult for me to focus on what I’m trying to get done. This has been problematic in the work zoom meetings. You probably have noticed I seem really quiet, that is because I’m trying my hardest to focus.

I need to be able to focus during the time I’m assigned to work as a GA. Otherwise, I must take more time to complete tasks that normally wouldn’t take up that long or just wait until the weekends to finish them. That is conflicting as I have set that time to work on class assignments and my own projects. So in the end I end up falling behind and not working well because my productivity levels are being affected."

She seemed to understand me and be supportive. Then I noticed coldness, and condescending passive aggressive texts from her part.

I realized that I could not do this any longer. I could not allow myself to continuously be taken advantage of. Both of the people I've worked for were aware of my vulnerable situation due to migration status. They both knew that it was not easy for me to pay for my studies through any other means. My studies depended on these people, and if they 'liked' me. They abused and absorbed my time to the extent that my studies suffered tremendously.

But I finally stood up for myself. I spoke with the director and she affirmed that my concerns were valid. Time and time again she assured me that my studies should always come first. She supported me. I will no longer be assigned to work with this person.

I finally feel heard.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

It's been 3 years since I started my program. A lot has happened in this time. I have a lot of catching up to do this summer if I want to stay on track and take my comprehensive exams by the end of the year. But someone finally heard me, acknowledged the wrongdoings and helped me.

Don't let people walk over you and take advantage of you. I'm learning this the hard way.

Speak your truth.

[dramatic-squirrel]

Damianette December Day 4- Flowers

Mishaps and surprise circumstances might keep the two of them apart for a while, but they’ll always find each other in the end. That’s it, the entire synopsis for the story. I saved you the time of actually reading it right there.

@daminette-december2019-2020

Marinette could barely contain her excitement. Finally she was joining to see Damian again. Sometimes, their relationship was too difficult. He had his duties as Robin in Gotham and she had her duties in Paris as Ladybug. But, it was moments like these that made it worth it. She wasn’t sure that absence made the heart grow fonder but she was sure that any chance to spend time with her boyfriend was worth the wait.

Except there was still something stopping them from meeting. The news reached her while she was making her way to the exit. A t.v. screen with a news channel was playing.

“Breaking new. Poison Ivy and Harley are robbing the Gotham United Bank. They appear to have let the women and children go but are keeping all other individuals as hostages.” It wasn’t too long after when Damian called her.

“I’m so sorry Angel, I need to help with the situation. We’re already short on back up since Cass is in China, Gordon is with Grayson on their vacation and Duke is handling another case with Fox. Where all too busy dealing with this sudden new problem that I don’t think anyone can pick you up from the airport.” She understood, it was a matter of circumstances. So, she wasn’t disappointed, just a bit sad she wouldn’t see him yet. Then a thought occurred to her.

“Do you need any help? I heard Ladybug’s in town.” It would be like killing two birds with one stone, until he brought up a very good point that she had forgotten.

“I would love to have you help us, but we both agreed that Ladybug shouldn’t appear anywhere but in Paris for the time being. Since, if your not in Paris, Hawkmoth might attack while Chat Noir is by himself. I know you said it’s not a problem because you have the horse miraculous but, if you can’t get away while we’re fighting Poison Ivy and Harley then Chat will be all on his own.”

“Yeah…” she couldn’t hold in her sigh of exasperation. “You’re right, I just wish you weren’t.”

“I’ll meet you later at your hotel for dinner. We should be done by then. Alright Angel.”

“Alright, I’ll just grab a taxi. Remember to stay safe Dami.”

“You too Angel.” They hung up and she left to airport into the unusually bright Gotham day. Thankfully she managed to track down a cab in under ten minutes, her ladybug luck always helping her in convenient ways.

While the taxi took her to her hotel, she decided to look up the news on her phone. She knew he’d be alright, he was amazing at what he did still, she worried. 30 minutes later the taxi pulled up by a curb and stopped. “We’re here miss.”

And it was partly her fault, she should have looked more closely to where she was before she paid and got out of the cab but, Marinette had no idea where she had been dropped off. All she knew was that it wasn’t her hotel. Before she could turn around to get back into the taxi, the driver already drove off breaking the speed limit several times over.

It seemed like it was going to be one of those days. One mishap after another. She took out her phone so she could check to see where she was and how to get to her hotel. Marinette managed to get the general direction she needed to walk in before the next mishap happened and her battery died. A long plane ride and obsessively checking your phone was bound to make the battery run out. 

Thankfully she knew where to go at least, and she should have plenty of time before she actually met Damian. “Well, Tikki, it looks like we’re going on an unplanned adventure.”

“That’s right Marinette!” the kwami’s positive attitude was always infectious. “There’s always a bright side to things. Maybe you’ll find treasure on your way.” It was hopeful, practically naïve thinking, but sometimes you just needed that kind of thinking in life. 

Her energy restored, she set off. For the next twenty minutes things went fairly well. She had travelled light since she was only staying in Gotham for about a week and a half, so there was no heavy suitcase to haul around. The driver had at least dropped her off on the safer side of town, so she didn’t encounter any muggers. And the weather held so there wasn’t any sudden rain storms.

As she passed by a food stand she decided to grab a bit to eat for her an Tikki. Just a simple bagel and nothing up to par to what her papa could make but delicious none the less. It wasn’t until she made it all the way to a desert park that she realized she was lost again. She couldn’t remember the route that she had seen on her phone but she knows she would have remembered a park showing up because it would have been a nice place to take a rest stop for her and Tikki.

In the end, the conclusion was that she was lost, in Gotham, without a phone. If she had the precise coordinates to teleport to she would use Kaalki but only Max would remember obscure details like the geographical coordinates of his hotel.

“I guess my luck is starting to run out finally Tikki.”

“It’s not that bad Marinette. Let’s take a rest first and then ask someone for directions. I’m sure they’ll be willing to help.”

“Maybe, but let’s be a bit picky about who we chose so we have to end up fighting some random kidnapper.” Marinette made her way to a park bench and placed her carry on next to her. “There doesn’t seem to be anyone here Tikki, why don’t you come out of the purse for a but.”

It wasn’t hard to see why the park was empty. Most of the foliage was dead still, winter was still on it’s way out especially in a town like Gotham where it was naturally cooler than other cities. As Tikki enjoyed exploring whatever she could find in the desolate park, Marinette let her mind wander from thought to thought. Physically she was fine but mentally she was exhausted. 

So she thought about a lot of things. The newest pastry her parents had made for the bakery, what Alya was probably doing right now, how she was going to solve the tricky part of the next design for Jagged’s outfit that he commissioned. 

She became too invested in her thought that she didn’t notice the person coming up from behind her until it was already to late. 

“Marinette?”

“Gah!” she fell forwards and subsequently off the bench. Her surprise last only a moment as she soon recognized the voice. “Damian? What’re you doing here? I thought you’d still be dealing with Poison Ivy and Harley?”

He had a sheepish expression on his face. “Turns out they were robbing the bank because the owner was counterfeit money. These situations usually end pretty quickly since they hand themselves in or escape as soon as my father finds the evidence they left out for him. Unfortunately we don’t always know when they’ll do their own brand of vigilant work and when they’re just committing a crime. How did you end up all the way here though? You’re hotel is about 40 minutes from here.”

It was her turn to appear embarrassed. “I must have gone the wrong way at some point while walking to my hotel. You see, my phone died and the taxi dropped me off at the wrong spot and so, I was resting for a few minutes before setting off again. It’s crazy that you managed to find me here of all places those.”

“Crazy or luck? If you aren’t too tired, would you care to join me for a walk through the park?” She was about to suggest they go somewhere with a better view if they were going to go walking when she noticed that they park had changed around her at some point.

Before where it was mostly barren, it had magically grown around her. She could see tulips and daffodils, snowdrops and lily of the valleys, primroses and peonies all throughout the park. “What the- how did the park end up like this all of a sudden?”

“I may have managed to convince Harley to convince Ivy to help me out. It was actually lucky that we managed to find you on the way to your hotel. Apparently this park is between where the robbery took place and where yout hotel is, so when I set off to find you with Harley and Ivy helping me under a “favor for Robin” we didn’t expect to see you so soon. This is just an apology for having to stand you up at the airport.”

She almost started crying. “You don’t need to apologize for that I understood the situation.” 

“Then think of it as a thank you for coming all the way here to see me?”

She pulled him forward and before he knew it she kissed him. It was quick and almost too short but sweet nonetheless. “Deal, as long as next time you come to Paris I get to give you something as amazing as this.”

[pappydaddy]

Heather Part Two (j.m.)

A/N: Okay, so I have decided to start saying as little as possible in my A/Ns just to see if it brings in more interaction, if you guys want me to continue my ramblings, just shoot me a DM or something and I won’t stop them. This is a repost bc nobody saw this the first time?? Pls interact with this (preferably reblogging, but likes are good too!) 

 Anywho, this is the second part of Heather (my JJ imagine based on Heather by Conan Gray) and this is told from JJ’s perspective, I got this idea when I found this kinda parody/cover of the original song which will be linked below. I put some different scenes in this one too so it’s not just a retelling of my first part. Anyway, enjoy!!

Show/Movie: Outer Banks

Pairing: JJ Maybank x Reader

Warnings: Sad, angst, longing, negative thoughts about oneself (appearance, personality, etc), comparing to other people, jealousy, unspoken feelings

Might do a part three? I’ll probably do a part three.

Heather Cover by Zachary Tay

Part One | Part Two - You’re here!

masterlist | taglist | wips | navigation

- not my gif -

  He didn’t technically see her when she arrived at the beach, but he still knew she was there before she wandered down the dunes. He couldn’t help but glance over his shoulder, trying to get a peek of her. There she was, her shoes swinging by her side, her hair blowing in the wind as she walked. She didn’t look towards the group of her friends, instead, she scanned the beach and JJ found himself missing her gorgeous eyes. He watched her, her eyes slowly drifting towards the fire JJ sat at. In a spilt second, their eyes connected and JJ wished he could stay in her gaze forever, but her eyes were ripped from his as she breezed past the group.

 The girl under his arm laughed loudly, making him draw his eyes away from Y/N. He looked at the black-haired girl (Heather) donned in his sweater, clinging to him as she laughed at something John B had said. “What’s so funny,” JJ asked, trying to play off his absence. He didn’t really listen to John B’s recount. “Oh, must have had to heard it in the moment, I guess.” He mumbled, his eyes following Y/N as Jack, her co-worker from The Wreck ran towards her, a large smile on his face. He took in Y/N’s appearance, the sweater she wore was too big for her, it certainly wasn’t hers. It dawned on him like a lighting strike; it was Jack’s sweater. He felt a pang in his heart, remembering how she looked in his own sweater, the very sweater Heather wore right in that moment.

 He remembered how good Y/N looked in his sweater and how often she wore it after he had given it to her. On Heather, it was just a piece of polyester fabric, but on Y/N, it was much more than just a sweater. The day she gave his sweater back to him was the day he concluded that she didn’t like him. He couldn’t imagine how he even thought she would like him, he’s not even good enough for his father and he could barely stand himself. How the hell would Y/N want him if he didn’t even want himself? He didn’t even understand how Heather liked him.

 His eyes followed Jack as he ran off once again, obviously apologizing profusely to Y/N. Jack was everything JJ wasn’t: sweet, smart, hard-working, career driven, and loved. JJ wanted to hate Jack, but he couldn’t, he was too good of a person. He could see that Y/N and Jack would make a good couple, he could see why Y/N would have her gaze set on him. His dark hair, his tall stature, his boy-next-door smile - he was the complete package.

 Setting his eyes on Y/N yet again, he saw her sit down on a piece of driftwood, staring out at the ocean as the waves lapped up towards her barefeet. He let himself imagine that the sweater she was wrapped up in was his. He often replayed the December night he gave his sweater to her in his head, imagining that he had actually done what he wanted - kissing her. He liked to live in that alternate story at night, laying in his bed. He sighed, glad he didn’t kiss her in the long-run, for he didn’t know who he liked more: Y/N or Heather. “JJ, you should tell Heather about that one time when John B was high off his ass when CPS came knocking on his door.” Kie laughed, capturing JJ’s attention from the girl sitting on the driftwood.

 “Oh, uh, yeah, sure.” JJ laughed, remembering that day as he launched into his story. Though his eyes weren’t on her, Y/N still plagued his mind, having been there that day as well, skipping school to smoke with JJ and John B. He laughed as he retold the story, poking fun at John B, but leaving Y/n out of the story, not wanting to pull her into his fling with Heather, knowing there will be drama if he did.

 Though he was immersed in the story he was telling, he still noticed Y/N standing and walking along the beach, leaving the party before it even started. The bleeding colours in the sky made her skin glow with pink and orange, making her look like the figure of beauty. As she walked away, JJ could have cried. He didn’t understand how he, the boy who wanted nothing to do with the messiness of love, ended up in this situation.

____

  The words Kie had told him earlier rattled in his brain like a single pill in a bottle. His mind played that moment back like a movie reel continuously playing. Once it ended, it restarted again. Like a painful torture device used to drive him to the brink of insanity.

 “I don’t get why Y/N keeps avoiding us! We never see her anymore, not since Heather started hanging out with us,” JJ groaned, plunking himself down on the couch dramatically. He had asked Y/N earlier at school (after cornering her at her locker) if she wanted to have a movie night just like old times, but she had told him she was going to study for a big biology test she had. “Why does she even need to study anyway? She’s at the top of her biology class, only second to Pope, of course.” JJ threw in the last comment, pleasing his friend who sat beside him on the couch, a freshly popped bowl of popcorn in his lap.

 “You guys do know why, right?” Kie asked, looking over her shoulder at them as she shifted through the DVD collection, the group deciding to go old school for the night. JJ shook his head while John B and Pope both nodded, making noises of understanding. JJ looked around, confusion clearly painted on his face.

 “Y/N still likes JJ.” Pope commented, tossing a handful of popcorn into his mouth, chewing it as if what he had just said was common knowledge.

 “What?” JJ asked, panicked, glad that Heather was hanging out with some of her other friends tonight instead of being with them. If she had been here, he would have never be given this piece of information.

 “You didn’t know?” John B asked, bewildered that JJ hadn’t picked up on anything.

 “Obviously not-” JJ cried, his eyes wide.

 “It was obvious, we all thought you had known by at least December third when you gave her your sweater, we thought that was you making your move on her finally.” Kie explained, shrugging.

 JJ still couldn’t believe that. If only he had seen how much she liked him, maybe he wouldn’t be praying for his eyes to catch her’s every time she walked by him. Maybe he wouldn’t want to cry every time they broke eye contact. Maybe he wouldn’t have assumed she likes Jack. He groaned, flopping around in the spare bed at John B’s, staring up at the dark ceiling as moonlight casted the window’s shadow onto the white surface.

 If he had known how much Y/N liked him that night, he wouldn’t be questioning who he liked more still. Maybe he didn’t like Heather at all. Now that he knew that Y/N likes him, he started to realize that maybe he didn’t truly like Heather, instead, only liking the idea of the distraction from the one he really liked. Though he realized this, he couldn’t do anything about it anytime soon. He had plans to eat lunch tomorrow with Heather and the group, he couldn’t break up with Heather at The Wreck.

_____

 Y/N was working today. That was the whole reason they were eating at The Wreck, to see her. John B and Pope missed her, Kie was able to see her during the shifts they shared or during shift changes, but the boys hadn’t seen her. JJ and Heather stood on the deck, leaning against the railing and JJ was giving the performance of his life. He couldn’t have Heather thinking that something was going on with him (he still had no idea who he liked more) so he was trying to act as normal as possible around her despite the fact that a war raged in his mind.

 He tried to keep his eyes on Heather as she talked adamantly. JJ nodded along, not really listening. Heather was beautiful and kind, but JJ grew bored easily. They had nothing in common. He was a surfer, she was from the city filled with concrete buildings and shopping malls. She just didn’t understand the joy in the little things. When JJ wanted to stargaze, she’d rather gaze at a TV screen. When JJ wanted to just sit on the beach and listen to the waves, she wanted to take pictures. When JJ just wanted to sit on his surfboard and let the waves roll under him, she didn’t want to ruin her make-up.

 Her hand squeezed his as she asked him about the stores he shopped at. He, not wanting to ignore her, joined her one-sided conversation and explained his mode of gaining clothes. She listened for the most part, but listening wasn’t really Heather’s strong suit. She loved to talk, not that JJ minded, but he would also like to have a conversation without being interrupted with a completely different story. He shot a glance in through the door, seeing Y/N at a table, talking with the costumers. She nodded, a shining smile on her face. JJ loved talking with Y/N. She’d listen, she’d talk. He’d listen, he’d talk. It was a perfectly balanced conversation with Y/N.

 He looked back down at Heather when she had asked him yet another question, but JJ wasn’t listening. “I’m sorry, what?” He asked, blinking. Heather giggled, thinking JJ was just a spacey type person who stared off in the distance, zoning out easily.

 “I asked about your shark tooth necklace, I’ve always wanted one.” She told him, the hand, that wasn’t in his, reaching up to fiddle with the shark tooth. JJ looked down at it, smiling fondly.

 “My friend made it for me with the shark tooth I found, I’ve never taken it off since they gave it to me.” He left out that it was Y/N who made it for him while she was going through her necklace making phase in middle school. She had made it too big originally, but it was okay since JJ grew since then.

 “Oh, well, maybe I could wear it sometime,” Heather asked flirtatiously. JJ gulped, not knowing what to say. He didn’t want to give it to her, but he didn’t want to start a fight before they ate a meal with his friends in public. Instead of answering, he pressed his lips to her’s in a lingering, long kiss. Heather smiled, giggling against his lips. Pulling away from the kiss, JJ glanced at the parking lot to see if John B and Pope were there yet, but his eyes came up with nothing. Heather shivered as a strong wind blew by them. “I’m a little cold.”

 JJ looked down at her, seeing that she didn’t have his sweater on. It was different, when Y/N had his sweater, she always wore it, or at least brought it, just in case she got cold. Heather didn’t bring it anywhere unless JJ asked about it. Wordlessly, JJ unlaced their fingers, dropping his arm around her shoulders, pulling her towards him. “I wonder if Y/N is cold? She doesn’t have a sweater on, only a t-shirt.” He thought, watching the parking lot out of the corner of his eye. He sighed, trying to clear his mind.

 “Yo! Let’s get some grub! I’m starving,”John B cheered, piling out of the van with Pope who cheered in agreement. JJ pulled away a bit too quick to play it off as normal while John B and Pope jogged up the stairs, their sneakers slapping the wooden deck. They walked right into the restaurant, leaving Heather and JJ to follow them. The bell above the door dinged, making Y/N and Jack look up from what they were doing. JJ looked up, seeing Jack leaning across Y/N, his shoulder touching her torso ever so lightly as he cleaned up spilt water. “Hi, Y/N! Where is your section?” John B asked.

 “Sorry, John B, I’ll have to take your table so she can get cleaned up, next time.” Jack told him, getting another dry towel to try and help her dry her clothes so she wasn’t dripping everywhere. JJ could sense John B’s disappointment, and he had to admit he was a little bit disappointed that he wouldn’t be able to hear Y/N’s sweet voice that he missed so much.

 “Thanks, Jack,” John B nodded his chin in Jack’s direction. “Maybe we’ll talk before we leave, Y/N.” Y/N looked back up from her shirt at the mention of her name, nodding. Their eyes connected as Kie and Heather jumped into a conversation. Every time their eyes connected, it was such a relief to JJ it truly was a sight for sore eyes. Much to his disappointment, their eye contact was gone as fast as it came when Jack interrupted.

 “That should be good, Y/N,” She looked from JJ’s eyes to meet Jack’s. The sight of her eyes connecting with Jack’s made JJ want to cry, missing that tiny connection that seemed to be the extent of their friendship these days. “You should go get changed, I’ll take these to the table for you, table four, right?” The group started to move, but JJ wanted to stay there, see if their eye would meet again before she disappeared to change, but he had to go with them. He was just out of earshot when she replied to Jack who carried the tray of drinks towards table four effortlessly.

____

 He knew he shouldn’t have done this at school. He was kicking himself as Heather weeped, her face in her hands. “I’m sorry, Heather,” He whispered, nervously looking at the crowd watching them. They were stood next to the side of the building, the crowd gathering in the parking lot. He had tried to do it privately, but he also wanted a clean cut. When he saw his sweater in Heather’s hand, he had known that today was the day. “It’s just not working out.” He tried to console her, his fist gripping the sweater he held now.

 The group watching whispered, making JJ roll his eyes. Now he was going to be painted the villain, the heartless asshole who broke up with the girl in front of the whole school even though they just see her weeping and gasping, not the part where JJ was actually considerate for once. Normally, it was a harsh slap to his cheek and a few tears slipping past their eyes as they walked away, not full on sobs. Especially since they were only going out for three weeks - tops.

 Heather looked up from her hands, letting her arms swing at her sides as she glared at JJ. Black streaks of makeup cascading down her cheeks. With a final, harsh glare at JJ, she ran off, the group of people parting to let her through. JJ watched her run, his shoulders deflating at his ruined chance of keeping the break-up private. His eyes landed on one of the pairs of people Heather parted in her haste to escape: Y/N and Jack. They stood side by side, Jack holding both their books in his hands, both their bookbag straps on his shoulders.

 The group quickly dispersed, giving JJ a perfect view of them. He could see Jack say something to Y/N before she said something back, their eyes catching each other, once again making eye contact. JJ was so absorbed in her eyes that he didn’t notice the sympathetic smile she sent his way. It felt like forever as he stared into her eyes, her just staring back. He wanted her to stay, he wanted to stay, but he couldn’t just break-up with Heather and then turn around, rush towards Y/N, sweep her off her feet and profess his love for her - then he would be an asshole.

 “Come on, Y/N, let’s go. We can’t be late for our shift.” JJ heard Jack tell her, forcing her to break away from JJ’s eyes. He felt tears prick his eyes at the loss of their moment. His eyes never left her, once again hoping for their eyes to connect again, even though he had to watch her eyes connect with Jack’s which caused his heart to throb painfully. Watching her turn and walk towards Jack’s pick-up truck was the sight that made him want to die, then the pain in his heart would stop - right? The picture of her sitting in his passanger seat didn’t sit right with JJ. The thump of Jack tossing their books and bags in the bed of his truck made JJ flinch, but he still never took his eyes off Y/N, not even when Jack slipped onto the bench seat beside her, starting his truck and slamming his door.

 His pleas were answered when Y/N turned to gaze out the window, their eyes connecting once again in a fleeting moment before Jack slowly pulled out of the spot, exiting the nearly empty parking lot. JJ watched the truck as it drove down the road, waiting until it was out of his sight before he moved. He found out who he liked more. It was Y/N. It was always Y/N.

[niawritess]

The Lovestruck~Chapter 10

(4 December Saturday)

10:23 am

"So how was your date?"

You glanced at your bestfriend confused by her sudden question. "Date?"

She nodded enthusiastically. "Yesterday, you and Baekhyun Sunbae went to date, right?"

You brows knitted. "That wasn't a date."

"Why? It was only you and Baekhyun Sunbae tho." She smirked and you rolled your eyes.

"Shut up, that's because Rose couldn't come. Now stop with your nonsense and look ahead." You pointed your chin towards the stage where the rehearsal was going on.

Ria groaned rolling her eyes. "I don't want to look at her! She's showing off her boyfriend more than acting."

You laughed. "Then get a boyfriend for yourself."

"Ha ha! So funny!" She scoffed. "Like it's so easy but you're gonna get it soon."

"What?" Your frowned confusingly as you looked at her to see her smiling mischievously before you realized what was she talking about.

You slapped her arm and glared at her. "I told you not have any weird thoughts about it!"

"What? I didn't even said anything!" She shrugged her shoulders and you shook your head ahead before she giggled at your flustered state.

Later, as you were about to walk out of your campus, you got a call from your brother's school, informing you that daniel has got injured during his basketball game practice and asked to pick him up.

You panicked at first but fortunately he didn't got injured badly and you got relieved before making your way to his school while texting Ria about it.

***

12:56 pm

Arriving at his school, you went straight to the infirmary and saw your brother sitting on the bed with his foot bandaged talking to her classmate which you assumed.

"Good afternoon." You greeted the doctor who was typing on her laptop looked up at you before giving you a polite smile and Daniel did the same.

"You must be Daniel's sister whom i talked to earlier?" She asked and you nodded before she stood up from her chair making her way to Daniel's bed while you following her.

"Is he okay? Is it bad?" You questioned worringly eyeing his bandaged foot and the doctor chuckled.

"Don't worry, he sprained his foot but it will be fine within two or three days after giving it a rest." She explained and you nodded relieved.

"Then can I take him with me now?"

"Yes, I have gave him the pain killer so you can take him."

"Okay, Thank you." You smiled at her and she nodded going back to her desk before you helped Daniel standing up and led him outside.

"Daniel! Your bag!" A girl shouted from the back as you both were walking down the hallway before she approached you and handed him the bag.

"Hello. I'm Daniel's friend, Kim jieun." She grinned and you smiled back before glancing at your brother who's cheeks were a little red as he stared at her making your jaw dropped internally.

She quickly bid her goodbye as she got called by the teacher and you both walked out of the school then back to your home.

Reaching home, you helped Daniel into his room and giving him time to change his uniform before something popped into your mind.

You fished out your phone and opened your contacts searching Baekhyun's number but then you realized that you don't have his number and texted rose instead, asking her if you could take a day off while telling her the reason.

After receiving her text saying yes, you smiled but then you tilted your head to the side confused as why Baekhyun popped up in your head when you don't even have his number. You thoughts got interrupted when your brother called you from his room loudly enough to make you startle and you groaned walking into his room with a thud.

Meanwhile, Baekhyun entered the Cafés as usual before a frown crept on his face as he didn't see you but then shrugged it off thinking you would come later.

Thirty minutes passed, but you still were not here causing him get confused and at last he asked Rose about it then got to know the reason behind your absence.

When she told him about Daniel, he got worried as he has gotten close to him but was also a little bit sad that you didn't tell him, he knows he shouldn't be feeling like this but he couldn't help it.

His day was passing slowly that's what he thought and was feeling lonely too since you were not here beside him so he could talk to you which got him confused as it wasn't the first time you took a day off but it was the first time he was feeling this way.

***

Next day (5 December)

2:24 pm

Time flew by fast with all the hectic day you had in college and now were on your way to the café. Entering the Café, you spotted Rose and Baekhyun behind the counter before smiling as you approached them.

"Good afternoon, Rose!" You greeted her as you stood by the counter causing Baekhyun's head jolted towards you and his face lit up but he immediately masked it with his normal facial expression.

"Hey! You're here and how is Daniel?" She asked.

"He is alright. His foot is getting better now." You replied, walking inside the kitchen to wear your apron and came back before standing behind the counter.

"Hey." You smiled at Baekhyun and he smiled back which didn't reached his eyes like how he always smile which got you frowned wondering if he's in a bad mood and shrugged it off.

However, the whole day he was being the same, giving you a nod or hum if you were asking something. He didn't really talked which led you think if he is mad at you but you haven't done anything wrong which you could think about.

You wouldn't admit it but you got a little bit sad with his sudden cold behavior but didn't let it get to you, thinking he's just in a bad mood and without you even realizing it was already closing time.

Rose closed the café and drove off to her home before bidding goodbye to both of you. Now Baekhyun and you were standing beside eachother in silence which you were hating and hence decided to break it.

"Sunbae?" You called him out and he looked at you as he was facing ahead. "Are you upset with me or something?"

"What?"

"I don't know what happened but you didn't talked to me like you do today, have I done something wrong?"

Baekhyun looked at you with wistful eyes and bit his lips before looking away while letting out a exhasperated sigh. He doesn't even know why he is feeling like this and now he's feeling apologetic towards you by his behavior.

"I'm sorry, it's just today I was kind of in a bad mood." He explained and you nodded in understanding while feeling relieved.

"Honestly," He started making you look at him. "When you didn't called me, I mean about Daniel like we have gotten close you know, I kind of got a little sad as I thought we became friends or is it just me who thinks that?"

"No! We are." You immediately replied and his eyes lit up before you scratched the side of your neck. "The thing is, I also wanted to tell you but then I realized I don't have your number."

Realization hit Baekhyun and he closed his eyes turning his head opposite direction of you, feeling embarrassed before looking back at you and you both stared at each other before chuckling.

He suddenly held out his palm towards you and you stared at it perplexed before glancing back at him then at his hand and high-fived it.

He looked at you incredulously before shaking his head. "I meant your phone."

"Oh." You bit your lip smiling sheepishly before fishing out your phone and gave him.

He typed something and gave it back before his phone started ringing and picking it up he saved your contact.

"Baekhyun."You mused looking at the name as he has saved his number as in your phone and he smiled at how his name rolled off your tongue.

"Yes, Baekhyun. I know you would have saved it as Baekhyun Sunbae and its too formal to save a friend's name like that." He explained and you smiled as he was right.

"Then what did you saved my name as?"

He held up his phone showing your contact info with your name written as 'Coffee bean'.

"Seriously? Coffee bean?" You frowned and he giggled causing you smile automatically before a thought crossed your mind.

"Wait, so were you sulking about it the whole day?" You looked at him amused and he blinked feeling heat rushing to his ear.

"No, I wasn't." He looked away feeling embarrassed and you smiled finding him cute before looking at your watch.

"I have to go now, Daniel must be waiting for me."

"Okay, i'll walk you home today since Daniel won't be coming."

"No, it's okay. I can go by myself." You refused not wanting to bother him and he looked unsure to send you alone which you noticed.

"I have been coming back and forth alone for a while so, it's fine." You assured him hoping he wouldn't insist anymore and he he didn't.

"Alright, but text me when you get home." He ordered and you almost laughed feeling as your dad was ordering you before nodding.

"You too, go home safely."

He nodded still hesitating before you walked away from him while he was still standing there watching your figure disappearing in the street.

Not long before, he walked over his car and got in before starting the engine while on the way his phone buzzed and taking his phone out, he checked the caller ID showing 'Coffee bean' which made his lips stretched in a smile.

However, his smiley face turned into a frown as it hasn't been even five minutes since you both parted ways and you couldn't have reached home in that short time.

As he answered the call, he couldn't even utter a word when he heard your shaky voice. "Someone is following me."

He immediately pressed the brake vigorously bringing his car come to halt with a jerk before comprehending your words. "Are you okay? Where are you?"

You bit your lip feeling scared as you can hear the footsteps behind you getting closer causing you walk more faster and heart beat increasing rapidly before you pressed your phone more close to your ear.

"Um, I'm close to my home but he- he is still following me." You stuttered breathing heavly making Baekhyun more worried and scared as he was already, before he started the engine coming over to you.

You brought your hand to your bagback which was hanging on your shoulder before reaching out and took out the paper spray while ready to kick the stalker.

"Y/n!"

You heard a familiar voice calling you out and tilted your head to see Jenna coming out of the convenience store walking towards you making you relieved as you rushed towards her.

"I'm safe now." You told Baekhyun who was about to make a U turn but sighed in relief before stopping his engine.

"Are you sure?"

"Yes, I'm with my neighborhood aunt."

"Okay, text me when you reach home."

After hearing your reply, he hung up and leaned his head against his seat while closing his eyes before exhaling deeply making his heart steady which was beating fast till now.

Never in the dreams, he imagined that his heart would be at the verge of jumping out because of a girl. He has never got this scared and this relieved before you entered his life. What were you doing to him? That was the thing he wondered before driving off to his home.

On the other hand, the man which you thought was stalker turned out Jenna's husband Alaric who was coming back from the walk.

"Seriously! Alaric, you scared me!" You complained calming your heart and Jenna slapped his arm before side hugging you while he scratched his back apologetically.

"Did I scared you? I'm sorry." He patted your head and you sighed.

"I was about to spray the paper spray on you." You told him making both of their eyes widen before you three walked towards your house as their house is opposite of yours.

Reaching home, you bid goodnight to them before walking inside and saw your brother in the living room playing video game. You rushed towards him and threw your arms around him and he flinched with your sudden act before you pulled away sitting straight.

"Did something happen?" He asked pausing his game before staring at you concerned and you shook your head not wanting him to worry.

"Nothing, I just miss mum." You replied honestly what you were feeling right now and he nodded sighing.

"Then call her."

"Eung, i'll wash up first and will make dinner." You stood up and ran upstairs to your room.

You entered your room before throwing your bag on the bed with yourself with a deep sigh swinging your legs side slowly before you grabbed your phone and texted Baekhyun.

You: I've reached home and sorry for troubling you.

Not getting a reply, you assumed he's busy so you got up and walked towards your bathroom to change and freshen up.

Baekhyun got out of his washroom in his pajamas after washing up and hung his towel around his neck before walking towards his bed and grabbed his phone from the nightstand.

Unlocking it, he saw your message on the notification bar and checked it before replying.

Baekhyun: No you didn't. You sure you are okay?

He was waiting for your reply but getting a voice from downstairs calling his name, he placed his phone on the bed and walked out of his room.

***

11:48 pm

You were lying on your bed staring at the ceiling and thinking about earlier which made you shiver. Although it wasn't a stalker but the scary feeling you had that time was still there, not letting you sleep as it kept appearing in your mind.

"Should I watch something to distract myself?" You muttered before grabbing your phone from nightstand and was about to play a drama but got interrupted as you got a text from Baekhyun.

Baekhyun: Are you asleep?

You: No, why?

Baekhyun: I texted you but you didn't replied so I was worried.

You frowned before scrolling up a little to see his message and immediately replied him.

You: I'm sorry I was busy so couldn't check it.

Baekhyun: I texted you but you didn't replied so I was worried.

You frowned before scrolling up a little to see his message and immediately replied him.

You: I'm sorry I was busy so couldn't check it.

Baekhyun: No problem, but do you often sleep late?

You: No, I sleep early but I can't right now.

He didn't reply making you frown and you almost assumed that he fell asleep or something but then his text appeared.

Baekhyun: Can I call you?

You blinked immediately sitting up before leaning against the headboard while contemplating what to reply as you're more of a text person.

On the other hand, Baekhyun bit his lip tapping his phone with his fingers wondering if he scared you or something before you texted back.

Coffee bean: Sure.

A smile made his way to his lips before you instantly got a call from him making you jump as you cleared your throat and answered the call while placing your phone to your ear but didn't said anything.

[Hello? Y/n, Are you there?]

[Uh, yeah sorry.]

[If you're not feeling comfortable, we can just text.]

You smiled. [No, it's okay.]

Baekhyun hummed leaning against the headboard. [Are you feeling better? You must have been scared.]

[Yes, I was and whenever I'm scared or something I always talk to mum but she isn't here.]

["Oh, I'm sorry.]

You frowned as his voice sounded a little sad before your eyes widened.

[What are you thinking? She's in scotland with my dad.]

Baekhyun sat up feeling embarrassed. [I'm so sorry, i thought-]

You chuckled. [It's alright.]

He smiled. [Well, at least you laughed, but you have to be careful now and did you told Daniel?]

You sighed. [No, he would feel guilty then and don't worry I carry pepper spray with me which I almost sprayed it on a innocent person.]

[Innocent person?]

[He wasn't stalker but my neighbor and I can't believe this happened second time.]

You mumbled the last sentence which was loud enough for him to hear.

[The stalker thing?] Baekhyun asked worringly.

[No, no. Actually I was on a family trip and there I felt someone following me and I sprayed the pepper spray on him but turns out he was the manager of the guest house we were staying in.]

You heard his laughter on the other side causing you roll your eyes before you lay down comfortably.

[Then what happened?]

[I got scolded by my parents and apologized to him but the whole week he stayed away from me.]

He chuckled. [Well that's how you are.]

[What do you mean?]

[Don't you remember that man at the Café? You totally scared him away.]

You bit your lip feeling embarrassed and heard his chuckle making you automatically smile. You both talked for minutes without even knowing and felt yourself getting sleepy as you let out a yawn while feeling your eyelids heavy.

["Y/n?]

Baekhyun called you but didn't got response but instead heard your soft snores from other side causing his lips stretched in a smile and cut the call before whispering softly.

"Good night, Coffee bean."

_____________

@wooya1224 @buttercupbbh

[arcticfox007]

Holding on to You

Day 2: Decorating

There is a follow up to this one on Day 3 of the DD2020C!

Part of the Destiel December 2020 Challenge created by @jellydeans and @galaxycastiel - this is so much fun, I really appreciate you guys coming up with this :) <3

This is a bit long for tumblr, so here’s the AO3 link!

***

           Please come when you can.

               Castiel looked at the text from Sam with some concern. If it had been urgent, he was sure Sam would’ve expressed it… but still, Lucifer’s trail had gone cold, and a break from Crowley’s need to always fill the silence with words would be welcome. Still looking at the text Castiel stood up from the barstool.

               “Where are you running off to Feathers? Running home to your boyfriend for the holidays?” Crowley winked suggestively at the angel.

               “If you must know, Sam has requested my assistance.” Castiel hadn’t actually paid much attention to the time of year, but now that he looked around, he did note that the bar had a plastic tree in the corner with lights.” Crowley noticed Castiel taking in the tree with a furrowed brow.

               “Oh dear, you didn’t forget? And with only ten shopping days left!” Crowley smiled mockingly. Cas just glared at Crowley and slammed money on the bar for the beer he hadn’t touched.

               “Just call me if you hear anything new about Lucifer.” Castiel continued to glower at the demon.

               “Ooo, I touched a nerve there. Go run back home to your boys, Feathers.” Crowley chuckled and turned back to his drink. Castiel walked out of the bar and got in his current vehicle. He was only a few hours from the bunker but as he started to drive, he found that he was actually bothered by what Crowley had said. He had observed that humans in this part of the world had specific cultural practices associated with Christmas that were very important to them. He had not known the Winchesters to pay much attention to the holiday, but should he do something for them? Sighing, Castiel decided he’d get to the bunker first and worry about human cultural practices later.

****

               Sam was worrying more and more about Dean. He knew his brother said he understood why Mom needed her space, but Dean was withdrawing more and more. When they weren’t on a hunt Dean found all sorts of projects around the bunker that required manual labor. The last few days his brother had only communicated with one-word responses and only when Sam asked him a direct question. Sam had been relieved when Cas texted him that he was on the way to them, Dean was always better with Cas around.

               “Dean?” Sam could hear some boxes being moved around in one of the rooms they’d been using for storage. He looked through the doorway to see his brother opening up an old box.

               “What?” Sam winced at the harsh tone.

               “Hey, I didn’t mean to bother you. I just wanted to tell you Cas texted to say he was on his way here. I thought you’d want to know.” Dean just nodded at the news. Sam looked around and noticed that Dean was going through some of the stuff prior occupants of the bunker had left behind. Sam waved his hand towards the boxes. “Anything interesting?” Dean sighed deeply.

               “No.” Sam peeked into the box Dean had just opened as it was pushed aside into what he imagined was Dean’s junk pile. It was full of smaller boxes. Sam pulled one out and laughed. They were tree ornaments, and really ugly ones at that. Dean just continued to pull more boxes out, but looking at the hideous ornaments Sam realized with a start that it was almost Christmas. Maybe Sam had more than one idea of how to cheer his brother up.

***

               “Sam.” Castiel wondered why Sam had called when he was going to be at the bunker in the next half an hour.

               “Hey Cas. I know you’re probably almost here, but I was wondering if I could ask you a favor?”

               “Of course, Sam. What can I do for you?”

               “Can you stop somewhere and pick up a few supplies? I’ll text you the address of the closest store. You still have the credit card we gave you right?” Castiel could here Sam’s smile through the phone.          

               “Yes, what supplies do you require?”

               “Okay, so this may sound strange, but I need you to pick up a tree. And a tree stand. And lights. Oh, and when you get here text me so I can help you sneak them in.” Sam had lowered his voice to a conspiratorial whisper. Castiel was confused.

               “Is this for some ill-advised spell? These sound like odd ingredients.” Sam laughed.

               “No Cas! Dean found some old decorations in one of the storage boxes and it made me think that it might be nice to decorate a Christmas tree this year.”

               “Then why are we sneaking?”

               “Um, well, I asked you to come back because… because Mom left. Dean hasn’t been handling it well, and I thought you and I could maybe do something to remind him that he still had us.” Cas took a deep breath and didn’t speak for a moment. It was hard to think of Dean dealing with his mother’s absence again. “Cas?”

               “I’m here Sam. I’m happy to bring a tree to assist with your holiday rituals. Please send me the address.” Cas ended the call. He was absurdly happy at the idea of being included in decorating a tree with the Winchesters. He was worried about Dean of course, but he wasn’t surprised to hear that Mary left. She had expressed that she felt out of place. If Sam thought having a Christmas tree would help, then Cas would get a tree. He glanced at the address on his screen and drove to the store.

***

               Sam made sure that Dean was still occupied in the storage room when Cas arrived. He helped Cas carry in the tree and showed the angel how to hold it so Sam could secure it in the stand. He sent Cas to bring the lights inside while he filled the stand up with water. Cas had purchased multi-colored lights and also had a bag with tinsel which he said the sales clerk had recommended.

               “Okay Cas. Now I need you to go convince Dean to help decorate.” Cas looked at Sam suspiciously. “Please Cas? He’s more likely to listen to you. You can also get the old ornaments.” The angel rolled his eyes and went towards the storage area.

****

               “Hello Dean.” Castiel stood in the doorway and watched Dean pull a box out from a back shelf and drag it to the front of the room where there was more space. He didn’t look up.

               “Cas.” Castiel sighed. It was never easy with Dean. He walked up to the man he loved and placed a hand on his shoulder. Castiel expected Dean to shrug it off but Dean just stilled and stood up to look at the angel.

               “I am sorry that your mother left.” Dean took a deep breath and for a moment Castiel thought Dean was going to start shouting at him. Cas would let him shout if that’s what he needed. Before he could start though, Cas saw Dean look at his face and wince. Perhaps Dean could read Castiel’s compassion in his eyes. Holding Dean’s gaze Cas saw the deep pain that reverberated through Dean’s being. Cas didn’t even stop to think. He pulled Dean into his arms and hugged him fiercely. Dean’s mother left, so Cas would stay as long as Dean needed him. He tried to pour that reassurance into the embrace. Surprisingly Dean didn’t resist, he just melted into the hug.

               “Cas… she said she missed her kids. We were standing right there, but she doesn’t even recognize us. She could have stayed, gotten to know us. But she’d rather have a memory.” Dean whispered the words in a raw and halting voice. Castiel knew how hard it was for Dean to express these things and so he pulled his arms tighter around him, feeling the soft flannel of Dean’s shirt underneath his palms. Dean dropped his head into Cas’ neck as if he could hide there from the world.

               “I believe she just needs time Dean; she does love you and Sam.” Dean nodded miserably into Cas’ trench coat. Cas would hold him as long as Dean allowed it. He stood silently offering this beautiful man all the support he felt he was allowed to give. Eventually, Dean pulled back and rubbed his hands over his face. He looked hopelessly around the mess of open boxes surrounding them and then back at Cas.

               “Thanks.” Dean didn’t seem embarrassed or awkward for once, just grateful. Cas just nodded and briefly grasped Dean’s shoulder once more. The angel was happy to have offered Dean some small amount of solace. He always treasured the stolen moments where he could be there for Dean, when it felt like Dean when just letting Castiel love and adore him. Softly smiling, Cas also looked at the boxes for a moment. Softly smiling, Cas also looked at the boxes for a moment.

               “Did you have something in mind with these?”, Cas asked looking at the debris of the prior bunker residents.

               “Nah. I was trying to get rid of any junk lying around. It was just something to do since while we don't have a case.”

               “Sam asked me to get a box of ornaments?” Castiel looked at the piles not sure where to start. Dean looked questioningly at the angel and dug out one of the bottom boxes and passed it to Cas.

               “What does he want with these?” Castiel shrugged slightly. Being a very experienced tactician, he knew the best strategy for convincing Dean to help decorate. More than anything else Dean was motivated by helping others.

               “I would like to experience Christmas with people I care for. Sam is teaching me some of your local holiday customs. Will you come help?” Castiel may have resorted to the head tilt Dean always responded to. He was not above ‘fighting dirty’ when it came to Dean’s happiness. Dean gave Cas a genuine smile and pushed him towards the door.

               “Yeah! Sounds like a plan. Although those ornaments are really ugly.” Cas chuckled as they made their way out of the storage area.

[raven-moon33]

Agh, sorry this is so late! I was planning on posting at least two more stories for #jttwfestival2020, so naturally my computer decided to break down the last few weeks of December. ;;

So, here is my exceedingly late contribution for Day #6: Make Your Own Bizarre AU! I will be cross-posting this on my AO3 profile, RavenMoon33, so feel free to check it out there as well.

This is a superhero AU (because I’m just a sucker for those tbh), so for some basic information:

Guanyin is a director/supervisor (think Nick Fury but better) working for the Lotus Syndicate (superhero agency) who goes under the codename Bodhisattva, Sanzang is one of her tech guys (think Q) whose codename is Monk, while the rest of the pilgrims are miscellaneous superheroes put together to be one of the Lotus Syndicates best superhero teams.

I’m already building up a bigger story and world for this (because I can’t seem to help myself apparently) and I do plan on continuing it with at least a few more parts/chapters. I’m not sure yet if I’ll be posting subsequent parts on Tumblr or if I’ll just keep them all on AO3 in a single story/series (purely out of laziness lmao) so keep an eye out for updates there if you like it.

Alright, ramble over. Please enjoy and let me know what you guys think!

“Monk, thank you for coming on such short notice. Please, take a seat.” Sanzang took a deep breath to hide his nerves and did as Guanyin bid him, sinking into the comfortable cushioned chair opposite her desk as well as he could with prickles of anxiety keeping his body tense and alert. He kept his briefcase clutched tightly to his chest as if it could be a barrier between them. 

“There’s no need to be so anxious,” she laughed, “I promise I didn’t call you here for anything bad.” He gave a pointed look to the tea set and trays of cookies and sweets positioned strategically on the desk, an obvious bribe if ever he saw one.

“Bodhisattva, the last time you called me in here like this you assigned me to the Five Finger Mountain case.” 

“Which turned out well, didn’t it?” She replied, sipping serenely at her tea. He blinked at her, flabbergasted, for a moment.

“I nearly died at least three times, nearly got fired, and spent a full month surviving in the woods on my own!” He stood up angrily when she just continued to stir her tea, pointing an accusing finger at her. “I’m just a tech guy, I wasn’t even supposed to be out on the field! What part of that is good?”

“The part where you rooted out dozens of spies in our network, exposed one of our highest-ranking members for corruption, and got half a dozen of our operatives out of enemy territory after they’d been held prisoner for years, all from your computer in the middle of a run-down shack in the woods?” 

He opened his mouth to protest, he had just been doing his job after all, but she cut him off before he could even start. 

“Or perhaps before that, when you helped save countless civilian lives by actively going out to the mountain site yourself and manually disabling the satellite gun before it could wipe out a quarter of the population, because no one else would listen to you and I was busy being framed for everything going wrong?” He sheepishly sunk down into his seat at her firm look, fighting the urge to hide his very red face in his hands. 

He couldn’t exactly brush the whole thing off as nothing with her sitting right there in front of him, knowing more about what exactly those two months had been like for him than anyone else did. She didn’t seem angry at least, the same as she had when he refused a promotion and the rewarded recognition the higher-ups offered him after it was all said and done. 

(He didn’t want the glory of being the person who wasn’t fast enough, smart enough, good enough to save the seventeen people who died between the time he figured out what was really going on and the time he finally gave up on The Lotus Syndicate getting anything done and going rogue. Three days, seventeen people- he should’ve been better. He didn’t want the operatives who made it out of there trying to thank him when they’d been stuck in a dark basement for months, some years, while he’d been off doing who knows what. He should’ve been better. He didn’t want the glory). 

But she at least understood, later, when he explained it to her, so she wasn’t angry anymore. He still couldn’t bear to meet her eyes though. Eventually, she took pity on him, handing him a steaming cup of tea. An olive branch. 

A few moments of silence passed.

“I was just doing my job.” He muttered at last, sullenly stirring sugar into his tea, accepting the silent apology for what it was. Neither of them liked to think too deeply about that time. She smiled gently at him, the warmth of it easing the tension out of his muscles. The tense air around them cleared.

“And you performed admirably. You are one of the best tech operatives in the business after all, if not the best.” He shook his head slightly, but didn’t try to protest. Questionable heroics aside, he was good at what he did, and they both knew it. “Which is why I’ve called you in here today. I have a new assignment for you.” 

He perked up when she placed a folder on the desk between them, eager to leave the shadowy confines of the past behind. Besides, he’d been stuck on filing duty for the past month thanks to Guanyin’s momentary absence and his temporary supervisor hating his guts for whatever reason, and he was bored.

“What is it?” He asked, even as he reached forward and plucked the folder off the desk.

“Have you heard of the Nomads?” He snorted and gave her a disbelieving look.

“No,” he drawled sarcastically, “I can’t say I’ve heard of our most powerful superhero team, the ones who have racked up almost half a trillion dollars in damages in the last year alone and who have single handedly caused the PR department to go on strike no less than three times in the last two years.” Her mouth twisted into a wry yet fond smile.

“They are a handful, but their results more than make up for their more… unique methods.”

“Reckless methods, more like it.” He muttered, starting to flip through the file when she only nodded serenely at him. “What about them?”

“I want you to be their new tech.” He nearly choked on his tea.

“You want me to what?!”

“Be their new tech.” She repeated firmly, setting down her teacup and fixing him with the no-nonsense look he knew better than to ignore. “They’ve become one of our most powerful assets in only two years, but any team without a good tech is basically flying blind. They’ve been doing good out on the field, but they’re not as new as they used to be. The enemy will start to figure out their weaknesses soon, and without a good operative they can trust to lead them well when they’re in dangerous situations, they have a pretty glaring one.”

“You’re not telling me they’ve been operating for two years without a tech?!” He asked incredulously.

“Of course not! I make sure they have a tech for every mission, but,” here she sighed and rubbed at her temple, and she must’ve been exceedingly stressed out if she was actually showing physical signs of it, “they’ve also managed to drive away every tech I’ve assigned to them within a month or flat out refuse to work with the ones who don’t run. They need a good operative, someone competent who won’t run away when the going gets tough, until I can find a more permanent replacement. The pickings are slim, and I want to avoid having to start poaching techs from other departments if I can help it.” 

She looked at him then, her eyes beseeching him in the way they only did when she was asking for a favor as a friend, and not as his boss. 

“You’re the best pick for the job, because you know what you’re doing and I know I can count on you to do it well.” He could feel himself wavering now, and he could tell she knew it too. “Please Sanzang, you’re the only person I can trust with this right now.” He sighed and slumped back in his chair, defeated.

“How long do you want me on this then?” 

“Seventeen months.”

“Seventeen-?!”

“Just until my assistant, Novice, gets back from his mission with the Jade Apprentices,” she interrupted, a hand raised in a plea for civility, “then you can have any position or assignment you want as thanks for taking this one on.” 

He paused, considering.

“Even at Thunderclap? You know I don’t like working on the field.” And a position at Thunderclap would practically guarantee he’d never have to go on the field again.

“Yes,” she nodded after a significant pause, though she didn’t seem particularly happy about it, “even at Thunderclap. You’ve more than earned it, if that’s what you truly want.” He sighed in relief and nodded. 

“Alright then. Seventeen months.”

“Seventeen months.” She agreed. “You can have the rest of today off, but you’ll be flying out to their main base in Beijing tomorrow morning. I’ll send you the relevant details tonight, but until then try to get some rest. You’ll need it.”

-

Sanzang did not rest. Once he got home (or rather, the hotel room he’d been living out of for the past few weeks- staying in the same place for too long made him nervous nowadays) he hunkered down in front of his computer monitors and spent the night doing research on the group he’d be spending the next year and a half babysitting.

The Nomads were made up of four members, each more powerful and dangerous than the next. 

Freefall, Red Sand, Nine-Toothed Boar, and last but certainly not least, their leader Great Sage. 

With the notable exception of Great Sage, each member of the group had been employed by the Lotus Syndicate for at least a few years before falling out of grace in one way or another, whether through an excessive amount of public damage getting them demoted to less than stellar positions in the Syndicate (Freefall and Red Sand) or the sheer amount of HR complaints getting them flat-out fired (Nine-Toothed Boar). 

The three of them were only reinstated as high-ranking superheroes after the Five Finger Mountain incident revealed a distressing amount of Lotus’ heroes to be corrupt, severely depleting the Syndicate’s fighting force and requiring many previously fired or demoted heroes to be reinstated (even if only temporarily).

 The three were put on a team with one of the Syndicate’s newest and most powerful superheroes (Great Sage, who as far as Sanzang could tell seemed to have popped up out of nowhere) both as a PR stunt (public damage and HR complaints or not, the three were still public favorites and no one was more popular in the public eye than the Great Sage himself) and as a way to keep a close eye on all of them, just in case.

Regardless of their rocky relationship with the Lotus Syndicate however, no one could deny they did amazing work. 

It seemed every week there was a new story popping up in headlines about their latest accomplishment in making the world a safer place; stopping bank robberies, rescuing hostages, uncovering shady gang operations, saving the entire world from some type of otherworldly threat, fetching cats stuck in trees- you name it, they’ve done it at least twice in the past six months alone. 

Sanzang couldn’t deny they did a lot of good, helped a lot of people, but even just looking at the reports on the damages left over from their altercations with criminals made a headache start throbbing behind his eyes. And he wasn’t even technically responsible for them yet! 

He sighed and started compiling folders on all four of them; their powers, their personalities, their greatest successes, their worst failures, every scrap of a clue to each one’s backstory. 

Forewarned is forearmed after all, and dammit, Sanzang was nothing if not prepared.

(Sanzang would soon come to learn that when it came to dealing with the Nomads, there was, in fact, no way to be prepared.)

[emma-what-son]

(Echee post) Did Emma Watson actually graduate from Brown University? Special treatment at college?

Posted on November 8, 2015

*PS this is a work in progress, will take a few days to get it in order...so apologies if it is incomplete Intro Emma has been talking about how important education is to her since she was 10. Even during the first interviews for Harry Potter promotion, back in 2001 for Philosopher's Stone, she was adamant about going to college. She's continuously said how important college/education is throughout the Harry Potter promotion years, but does what she say match up with what she actually did? She was playing along with that bullshit "Classy, educated" image she and her PR team (like her publicist Luke) have crafted for her, the one where she claims she is exactly the same as Hermione, the beloved character from the Harry Potter franchise. Course though, she's contradicted herself on that multiple, multiple times - sometimes saying she's exactly like Hermione, and other times claiming they're extremely different. There was some extremely strange stuff going down with Emma's Brown University Education though....as will be revealed below. And you'll have to start wondering if she actually did graduate or how much, how extensive and enormous, was the amount of special, unequal treatment she got for being a celebrity and a feminist (College campuses love pandering to social justice warriors/feminists - part of it is a natural love for them and another part is Obama forcing them to through the OCR and Title IX) Emma's Education Emma entered Brown University the Fall of 2009. Brown is a private, 4 year university/college in America. Emma entered Brown as an international student studying on an F-1 Visa. Okay Emma didn't do much BS during her first 3 semester (Fall 2009, Spring 2010, Fall 2010) at Brown and seemed to study there like most normal students, but it's after the first three semesters that things started getting extremely strange and Emma started telling a whole bunch of lies. Emma constantly raved about how awesome college is and gave every single impression she was going back to Brown in Spring 2011. getSurrey November 2010: getSurrey: Will you carry on acting? Emma: I will keep on acting. I’ve just been in a film called My Week With Marilyn. I’ve just finished shooting that. But finishing university is a priority. But I hope I do lots more things. I don’t really want to be put in a box – just yet. I’m not exactly sure. University Magazine Interview by Colin Turner (November 2010?): (Okay just note that this interview came out in June/July 2011 for Harry Potter Deathly Hallows Part 2 Promotion, but Emma mentions in the interview she just finished filming My Week with Marilyn, which happened in November 2010. Uni magazine is this student run magazine, so I'm assuming they don't do monthly issues (don't have the money/people for that) so it takes them several months to release an issue.) Colin Turner: You’ve gone to university, obviously, do you imagine taking up acting in the future or are you just seeing what happens? Emma: I just did a movie, finished something last week, “My week with Marilyn”, which is exciting. No, I think I’ll just keep doing things. But my education is my number one priority at the moment and everything else comes around that really. Parade Magazine Interview November 2010 (Emma Watson's Campus Confidential, interviewed by Jeanne Wolf): "I get some amazing offers to act, and sometimes it’s hard to say, “No, I’m going to stay here and do my homework.” People are like, “What do you mean she’s not available?” I may do some theater next summer, but this college experience is really important to me, and I won’t give it up for anything. I’m not going to school just for the academics–I wanted to share ideas, to be around people who are passionate about learning."

Echee says: Okay, notice how in November 2010 and even right up until January 17, Emma claims/gives the strong impression she's definitely going back to Brown University for the Spring 2011 semester. Big lol at the "this college experience is really important to me, and I won’t give it up for anything" two months before she did. By the way I have to mention the whole "Sorry for long absence from here - so much to do and so little time to do it in before I go back to school! Hope you're all ok x" was originally a tweet from Emma's @EmWatson twitter account but after she left university she deleted it lol. The picture I posted is from the official (that's why there's the blue check mark) Emma Watson Facebook page run by both Emma and her team. I guess she forgot to delete the facebook post after she deleted her tweet. For Spring 2011, the first day of classes was January 26 (per the academic calendar). Yet even at January 17, Emma stated she was getting ready to go back to school, hence her "so little time to do it in before I go back to school!" How the fuck can she be confused 1 week before classes start whether she's taking a personal leave of absence or not? Brown University Personal Leave of Absence Deadline

Brown University 3 types of leaves of absence

Okay, so of Brown University's three types of leaves of absence, Emma took personal. The deadline to declare you're taking next semester off is December 1, hence the Brown policy "If you are planning to take leave for the spring semester (Semester 2), you must declare by Dec. 1st." Either Emma was lying and trying to delay revealing she was taking time off to do her Perks of Being a Wallflower filming and BS Lancôme makeup and perfume work (very possible since she lies so much), or she was honestly undecided until right before, and thus requested special, unequal treatment that despite her missing the deadline, she should be allowed to take a leave of absence. Anyway I think it was special treatment from Brown allowing their publicity cow to get what she wanted. That means she was clearly lying in her January 17 tweet about going back to school.

This from Amanda Foreman, Emma's interviewer, for Emma's Vogue Magazine July 2011 interview: Emma struggled valiantly to fit everything into her life, becoming increasingly exhausted, until over Christmas advisors at Brown suggested that she take a leave of absence, a turn of events Yates was not surprised by. Notice how the Vogue article says it was "over Christmas"....Christmas Break for Brown starts after December 1, the deadline. First off, unless Emma's doctor signed off on it, then it was NOT a medical leave of absence, and her advisors gave her special treatment since she missed the personal leave of absence deadline already. And You know December 25 is over 3 weeks after the December 1st deadline, so that's an amazingly long extension despite the severe, absolute terms of "You must declare by December 1". Anyway, wowza, off to a bad start....getting special treatment when you're quitting school temporarily. Well, whatever, it's equality feminist Emma Watson that we are talking about here. She runs her mouth off talking about feminism and equality and whatever but like most Western (usually Caucasian) privileged feminists, have no idea what she's talking about. Despite Brown's Spring 2011 semester starting at the end of January, Emma kept quiet about all this until March 7, 2011. She announced it on her website EmmaWatson.com (which is now defunct and shut down): Here's her statement on March 7, 2011: As you know, I love Brown and I love studying pretty much more than anything. But recently I've had so much to juggle that being a student AND fulfilling my other commitments has become a little impossible. I've decided to take a bit of time off to completely finish my work on Harry Potter (the last one comes out this summer) and to focus on my other professional and acting projects. I will still be working towards my degree … it's just going to take me a semester or two longer than I thought : ) Hope you are all well! Thank you for all your continuing support. Emma xx.

On February 10, 2011 (well after the Brown semester had started), Emma confirms on twitter that she will be filming Perks of Being a Wallflower, which interfered with Brown (Brown school date ends May 20, Perks started filming May 9) and she had also already had various talks and was close to finalizing a deal with Lancôme. And she knew she would have to do some filming work for Lancôme commercials in the coming months. At this point clearly she was taking the semester off and yet she didn't announce it until March 7, 2011. Why'd she wait an entire month??? Why be so secretive of it? Just like how a week before classes started she was claiming she was getting ready to go back to school. And then why wait another month before she and Harry Potter publicist Vanessa Davies, release more details of this leave of absence? April 23, 2011 Press Release to Associated Press: LONDON (AP) — A spokeswoman for Harry Potter star Emma Watson says she will be transferring from Brown University to another university in the autumn. Vanessa Davies denied reports that the 21-year-old actress was "bullied out" of the Rhode Island university, saying there was no truth in reports by a number of online publications who cited classmates and "insiders". Davies said Saturday that Watson, who plays Hermione in the wizard movie series, has decided to pursue a different course not offered at Brown. She added that the star "has absolutely loved her time at Brown" and made many good friends there. Watson has recently taken time out of her studies to focus on her movie career. She has said that her first days in college were difficult. Davies did not identify the university Watson will be transferring to. Emma releases a statement April 30, 2011 on her website EmmaWatson.com (now defunct): I felt the need to let you all know the reason I took a semester off from Brown had nothing to do with bullying as the media have been suggesting recently. I have never been bullied in my life and certainly never at Brown. This "10 points to Gryffindor" incident never even happened. I feel the need to say this because accusing Brown students of something as serious as bullying and this causing me to leave seems beyond unfair. Please don't try and speculate about what I might do in September - no one can possibly know because I don't even know yet! Like my other fellow Brown students I am trying to figure out my third year and whether or not I will spend it abroad (this is common).

If you wondered why Emma let Vanessa Davies announce the transferring information, instead of Emma just announcing it on her website a week later, it's because Davies is head of publicity at Harry Potter, so they were working out how best to frame the narrative that Emma is still a hardworking student. Don't forget, ~200 million is spent on Harry Potter marketing for HP Deathly Hallows and Davies is part of that team and one of the heads. Warner Brothers had to protect their little cash cow until the movies were over and Emma couldn't damage their profits. Also, the Harry Potter spokesperson, Vanessa Davies, says Emma will be "transferring" but from Emma's own message (and it's later revealed), she was actually only just studying abroad, not transferring. Weird. April 2011 Associated Press Interview: I just knew I was going to be beating myself up because I wasn't going to be able to be doing the best that I knew that I could at school or in my job. If I'd been getting B's or C's I would've been really upset. Wonderland Magazine February 2014: You realize you can't do everything. I really did think I could do it all - commute back to the UK for Potter filming and press, then go to Brown for finals, and keep up with my friends and family. You can't do it by the way. You do have to take breaks. It's how I became interested in meditation and yoga. I developed bedtime rituals. Elle Magazine UK November 2011: Of course Harry Potter got in the way, with its relentless round of reshoots and promotion, meaning that Emma had to temporarily halt her studies at the start of this year. "I was basically commuting across the Atlantic. Taking a semester out wasn't what I wanted to do, but I am still enrolled at Brown." Collider.com Interview with Steve Weintraub November 14, 2010: Well, I keep trying to but she keeps finding her way back into my life. I still have two movies left to promote, and they’re still cutting and editing Part 2 so I might have to do some more voice recording and other stuff for it, so it’s a very gradual goodbye. I’m being eased out of it gently........I mean we are special, it is Harry Potter. But we only had two days—I was being sarcastic (laughs). Sorry, I have to like fill that in because otherwise it will be written, “we are special!” (laughs). But yeah we only had two days to shoot it and we needed so much more time than that. So yeah, we have reshoots at Christmas. So it’s not over. It’s not over yet guys! Echee says: Okay, what? Notice how in Wonderland Emma claims she was busy filming for Harry Potter and her Elle Magazine interviewer claims the same. Harry Potter Deathly Hallows Part 1 and Part 2 filming ended in June 2010, and then for less than a week they had to reshoot the epilogue in December 2010 (they reshot around Christmas time, so Emma had already finished her Brown Semester). They re-shot the epilogue because the makeup/CGI made the actors look elderly instead of middle aged. Also, HP and the Deathly Hallows Part 2 premiere was July 15, 2011. Generally press begins one month in advance (though you might do some magazine interviews 3-4 months in advance). Emma was not seen at any events/doing press until beginning of July 2011. She was stuck in Pittsburgh doing Perks of Being a Wallflower filming (which took place from May 9 to June 29, 2011) Emma was also filming for and doing work on her Lancôme stuff in March/April. How can she claim she was too busy during the Spring 2011 school year (which was from January 26 - May 20) with Potter filming and promotion? She did none of that. The overlap she had with school and non-school stuff was Perks filming and Lancôme filming/promotion. It had NOTHING to do with taking time off for Potter. Plus she was negotiating those deals for Perks in January 2011 and for Lancôme in December-ish. There was ZERO reason for her to take time off from school, but she did, because she was desperate for fame/money, and she blamed it on Potter to hide the truth. PopSugar On-Set May/June 2011 Interview with

Shannon Vestal Robson: Shannon: Have you read the book, and do you feel pressure to live up to it? Emma: I read the script first and then I read the book. It was so funny because I read the script and I came back to Brown and I told my roommates that I've just read this amazing script, The Perks of Being a Wallflower, and my friends were like, "Oh, that's my favorite book. So jealous that you get to play Sam. If I was ever going to be in a movie, if I was ever going to play any character ever, it would be Sam. Notice how Emma mentions going back to Brown and asking her Brown roommates (Scout Willis, Madison Utendahl, etc.) about the book. So even during the Fall 2010 Semester, she was secretly thinking of filming Perks next year. And remember the interviews I posted above (from November 2010) where she claimed education and university came first? BS. She was already planning back in September 2010 (when she went back to Brown) about leaving next year. Also, remember this. Emma is claiming she was overworked with Brown and Potter stuff.....why in September 2010 was she looking at possible filming projects that would coincide with Spring 2011 Semester and Summer? If you claim you are overworked, why are you looking to add on more, extra, unnecessary work. She was also negotiating her Lancôme deal in December 2010 as well. Harry Potter Deathly Hallows Part 2 New York City Press Conference July 2011 (Listen at 17:30): "I'm going to Oxford, in the fall, to study English for a year. Just to explain, I haven't left Brown. I'm still enrolled at Brown, but I'm doing my third year abroad. Studying at home, abroad, for me. So I'll go back to the States to do my last year. I took a semester off but my A-Level credits actually count as an advance-place-me-out-a-semester so I'm no further behind, I'm still technically going into my third year. So, yeah, that's that." Something to remember is how Vanessa Davies (when the Harry Potter spokeswoman announced Emma was transferring from Brown in April)says "Watson, who plays Hermione in the wizard movie series, has decided to pursue a different course not offered at Brown". On Emma's EmmaWatson.com website in the FAQ section (undated), she says this: I was seriously torn as to whether to stay in the UK or go to the States as let's face it the UK has some of the best universities in the world. But, ultimately, I loved the course at Brown and really liked the idea of experiencing a different country and culture - and I must say I've never been happier, I absolutely love Brown. So strange how Emma + her Harry Potter spokesperson contradict each other. Emma claims she purposefully chose Brown (instead of staying in the UK for university) because she loved Brown's course, but then the spokesperson said the reason Emma is transferring is because Emma was sad that Brown didn't have the course she wanted to take. Emma reveals in the press conference that she will be studying English a Oxford. The thing is, Emma was and did graduate as an English Literature major. So Brown did have the course she wanted to take (which is what she earlier said). Okay so Watson claims here that despite taking an entire semester (3-5 classes) off, she's no further behind than the rest of her classmates. Damn, this girl must be such a hard worker to not fall behind. Still, is she telling the truth, lying as usual, or begging/threatening Brown University to give her special, unequal treatment? Fact checking Watson's "advance-place-me-out-a-semester" claim Brown University Office of the Registrar - The College, Advanced Standing Guidelines

Anyway, there's a lot of information and I only parsed out a bit of it, but here's a quick summary. Basically, to graduate from Brown University, you need to take a minimum of 30 classes during your college years (can be at Brown or other approved colleges) and also a minimum of 8 semesters. Just to mention, A-Levels are the UK equivalent of American Advanced Placement (A.P.) courses or International Baccalaureate (IB) courses. Also, when Brown says "credits" they mean courses/classes. So, yes, Emma told the truth in that her semester standing is no further behind because her A-Levels counted as an extra semester. However! Emma is still behind in total number of classes taken because A-Levels do not count towards your degree requirement of 30 classes/courses. So she needs to take more classes per semester than the average person since she's behind.

Vanity Fair May 2010 Interview: After shopping classes, she settled on European women's history, Ovid's Metamorphoses, and acting. “I think actually I'm the worst person in the class,” says Watson cheerily. So in Emma's first semester (that's the time period they're talking about), Emma took 3 classes - women's history (lol at this feminist class), Ovid, and acting. Brown requires students to take 3-5 classes a semester and so Emma took the bare minimum....kind of super lazy for someone so excited to get to college and start learning and whatever else she's been spouting for years. Okay, Brown's most basic, elementary requirement that ALL students have to fulfill to graduate is to take 30 classes. Since Emma only took 3 classes her first semester, that means 30 - 3 = 27 classes left to take over 7 semesters. Since Emma took a semester off but claims advanced standing, meaning she wants to graduate in May 2013 (September 2009 - May 2013), that means...... 27 classes over 6 total semesters. 27 / 6 = 4.5 classes per semester This I will go into detail in below, later, but just a heads up, Emma also took the Fall 2012 Semester off in order to film Noah. Because Emma had enough A-Levels, she did indeed get 2 semesters of advanced standing, but to graduate in 6 semesters means...... 30 minimum classes to graduate / 6 semesters = 5 classes a semester every semester Brown only allows you to take a max of 5 classes a semester and since Emma only took 3 classes her very first semester at Brown, it means it's impossible for Emma to graduate by May 2013 without special, unequal treatment....special treatment being either lowering the required 30 classes or allowing her to take 6 classes a semester, but come on, Emma is super lazy and unprofessional. Can you honestly see this girl doing 6 classes a semester when she lazily only took 3 classes her first semester? Freshman year is the easiest you know.... And their 30 classes requirement is their most basic requirement - to let her worm her way out of it would be absolutely disgusting.

[krisdreaming]

🎄 5th Day of Fluffmas 🎄

⟵ Day 4 | Masterlist | Day 6 ⟶

Home for Christmas || Kageyama Tobio x Reader

Wor count: 1,878 | Gender Neutral Reader

(prompt: You’re away from home and probably won’t make it home for Christmas)

a/n: This is one I had planned pretty much from the beginning specifically for Kageyama. I realize his birthday was two days ago, but I just needed this to post on Christmas Eve.

-

“Hi Tobio.” You grin when his pixelated face comes into view on the video call. “Did you have a good day?” 

“It was fine. We won our match today.” He smiles. Even though he’s away from home with his team, you’ve still managed to video chat almost every night. It’s nice, but it’s certainly not the same as having him here next to you.

“That’s great, Baby. I’m really glad.” There’s a beat of silence. “I miss you.” You sigh. Tobio lifts his hand as though to comfort you somehow, but lets it fall back to his lap.

“I miss you too.” He says instead.

You feel the cat nudge her nose against your leg, and you lift her up to your lap. “Look who it is, Pumpkin!” The orange cat glances at the screen for a few moments with a slow blink before curling up in your lap, uninterested. “She misses you too.” You assure, running your hand down her back. The low rumble of her purring is loud enough to reach Tobio’s ears.

He nods, but you can tell something is off. Even for him, he’s been too quiet. Your smile falters. “Is something wrong?”

“Well, since we won... it means we moved up a bracket. We’ll be here for another week.” He mumbles the last part, so you’re hoping you heard him wrong.

“You mean you won’t be home for Christmas?” You can’t help it - as much as you want to remain upbeat, you can’t keep the disappointment from your voice. It’s your first Christmas as a married couple, and now your husband won’t even be in the same country as you.

“No. I won’t. I’m sorry.” He runs his hands over his face. You feel the tears burning at the backs of your eyes, but you bite down hard on your lip and blink quickly to stop them from falling.

“Don’t cry.” He says anyway, folding his arms and resting his chin on them.

“I’m not.” You say stubbornly, and by sheer willpower, you have manged to banish the tears for now. He doesn’t need to know how much this hurts you. His dream is just as important to you as it is to him, and you can’t have him thinking otherwise.

“We’ll talk on Christmas?” You ask, hoping at least for that much. 

“Of course we will.”  He nods firmly. “We can still celebrate.” You fall into a comfortable silence for a few moments, and Tobio takes in the slice of the familiar kitchen behind you. You’d strung a green garland and twinkling lights above the cupboards, and the warm glow they cast makes your expression look especially soft.

“Is it snowing there?” You finally ask, mustering a fake brightness.

Tobio glances out the hotel room window at the clear, frozen sky and then down to the street below and the scattered pedestrians who pull their coats closer around their bodies against the cold. “No.” He turns back to the screen with a shake of his head, and watches as you turn your laptop until the kitchen window comes into view. He can just make out the softly falling flakes beyond it.

“It is here.” You say unnecessarily, turning the computer back towards yourself. “It’s pretty. Makes the city look softer, somehow. And quieter.” Soft and quiet were normally the last two adjectives Tobio would use to describe Tokyo, but he misses it all the same - it and the warm apartment with the Christmas decorations you had insisted on putting up a week before December had even begun, and most especially the smile that isn’t quite the same hundreds of miles away.

“Sounds nice.” He murmurs, wishing for probably the hundredth time this trip that he could reach through the computer screen and pull you close to his chest. “I miss you.” He says again, as a fresh wave washes over him.

“But you’ll be back home in a little more than a week, right?”

“Definitely.” Tobio takes in a deep breath. “I’m really sorry.”

“Don’t be.” You insist firmly. “I’m really happy that you’re able to be there with the team. I’m so proud of you, Tobio. We knew things like this might come up, and I still wouldn’t change a thing.” You’re glad to see that he gives you a small smile. 

“I should probably get to bed.” You finally admit, much as you don’t want to. “I work early tomorrow.”

“So should I.” He says, not moving.

“Goodnight, Tobio. I love you.” You lean in a little closer to the screen.

“I love you too.” Tobio lets his eyes wander your face on the screen, drinking in the details even though they aren’t as sharp as they’d be if you were right in front of him. “Goodnight, Y/N.” You blow him a kiss right before hanging up, and for a few moments Tobio sits staring at the ended call.

As he putters around the room, brushing his teeth and preparing his uniform for the next day, he can’t help feeling crushed by his own disappointment and the look on your face that you had tried so hard to disguise. As he crawls into the unfamiliar bed and pulls the quilt up to his chin, curling into himself with the absence of a warm body against his chest, his mind is whirring farther from sleep with every passing moment. He knows how much you had been looking forward to this first Christmas together in your apartment, your first Christmas since you’d been married, and he makes a silent vow to himself that he’ll find a way to give you the holiday you deserve.

The following days pass by in a whirl of activity for you, but at the center of it is a dull ache that won’t quite go away. Knowing that Tobio won’t even be home for Christmas has sucked most of the joy out of your favorite holiday. When you talk you insist that you’re happy that Tobio can have this opportunity (and you are, truly) but in the moments after Tobio’s I-love-you fades along with his face, you allow yourself to curl up into the missing and the disappointment. Even being sad isn’t quite the same without Tobio there to press kisses to the top of your head and murmur that things will get better.

On Christmas Eve, you almost cry in the break room at work when you get the text from Tobio that he won’t be able to talk that evening. 

But you will tomorrow, right?

You reply quickly, almost desperately. He had promised, after all.

Of course. I love you.

It’s enough to hold you until tomorrow. You even find it in yourself to smile brightly at your co-workers, wishing them a chipper “Merry Christmas!” As you leave for the day, trying your best not to think about the empty apartment that awaits you.

“Hi, Pumpkin.” You say softly as the cat winds her way around your legs the moment you step inside. “It’s just going to be you and me tomorrow. Some first Christmas in the apartment, huh?” The cat looks up at you and lets out a small mew before slinking off. “Well it’s still Christmas even if Tobio isn’t here!” You say a bit more loudly into the empty apartment as you begin heating milk to make yourself a mug of hot cocoa. 

With no Skype session to look forward to, nothing sounds better than curling up in bed a little early. Pulling the comforter around your shoulders and sinking lower into one of Tobio’s sweatshirts, you settle into bed with your drink and a queue of Christmas movies on Netflix.

It isn’t long before the exhaustion of the day gets the better of you. “We don’t need Tobio anyway, do we?” You murmured sleepily to the cat curled against you, drawing in the faint scent that still lingers on the sweatshirt as your eyes slip closed.

You’re startled awake sometime in the night by a noise you can’t quite place. You glance around the room and don’t see anything out of place, so you assume the cat must have knocked over the small tree you have set up in the living room. It wouldn’t be the first time it’s happened.

You roll over and have almost drifted back to sleep when you hear a sound suspiciously like the front door closing. A hard lump sinks in your middle, and you curl further under the blanket, debating what to do. Should you get out of bed to investigate?

Finally, when you don’t hear anything more, you decide to get up, just to soothe your fears so that you can hopefully get a little more sleep. Looking around, you pick up one of Tobio’s trophies sat on your dresser and grip it by the base, just in case. Slowly, you walk into the living room and in full view of the door. For a few moments your throat completely seizes up when you see a person faintly illuminated by the light from the hall, tugging a large bag through the door.

Just as you gather your wits enough to try to scream, the light flicks on and your husband is standing in the doorway. Your body moves before your brain catches up, and you fling the stupid trophy aside and launch yourself into his arms.

With a soft “oof” he staggers backwards, nearly toppling over. He catches himself, though, and his grip around you tightens as you wrap your legs around his middle.

“Tobio.” Between the tears and your face pressed into his neck, he can barely even tell that you’re saying his name.

“I’m here.” He says into your hair. “I’m here.” He repeats it, pressing a kiss to the top of your head.

“But - the team?” You finally pull away just enough to lift your already tear-stained face to look at him, still gripping onto him just in case he decides to disappear.

“It took a little convincing.” He admits sheepishly. “But there was just enough time for me to get a flight this evening as long as I promised to fly back tonight. Merry Christmas, Y/N.”

You can’t wait any longer and crash your lips into his, unable to keep from smiling into the sloppy kiss. “Merry Christmas, Tobio.” You say breathlessly when you finally pull away. “I can’t believe you flew here just for a day.” You’re still in slight disbelief.

“I couldn’t spend Christmas without you.” He murmurs, your face still cupped in his hands.

“Well, let’s spend the first part of Christmas by going back to bed.” You decide, feeling the drowsiness return as the shock of Tobio’s return softens to a pleasant warmth in your middle. “Come on.” You gently tug on his hand, shuffling back to the bedroom with a smile still plastered across your face. You crawl back into bed perfectly content, curling against Tobio’s chest as his arms tighten around you. 

“Now it’s Christmas.” You murmur as you worm your way closer, nose to nose with Tobio and leaning in to press a kiss to his lips as the comfortable warmth lulls you back to sleep. Right as you drift off you can’t help thinking that this might be your favorite Christmas yet.

[chiisai-fukurou]

About my hiatus :)

Long time no see... It has been a while since I published an article here...

A lot has happened and I think I cannot look at my blog the same way I did... I’ve been to Japan again last December and it was wonderful. I’ve spent a lot of time helping my friends and a lot of time visiting a neurologist for some troubles I’ve had for as long as I could think. It took a lot of time off of my schedule that I had to work hard to get back.

For a long time I had to fight with that feeling of being alien and not being able to fit in. For as long as I could think a lot of things just went over my head and I couldn’t fathom some things that happened around me. I cannot share a lot of things people around me think and talk about. There has been this suspicion that I’m autistic for a long time now so last year I decided to bite the bullet and get an appointment for a diagnosis.

It took 7 month of waiting for me to get to my first appointment. I chose a reputable neurologist/psychologist because I’m not a fan of “I think I have XX and just need a doctor to sign the diagnosis I made myself.” because if you want to improve your situation an accurate assessment of your current status is kind of paramount. I had several, hours long appointments that were quite costly but to me it was worth the time and money I paid for it. It was a very interesting experience too. There is a lot of testing and there are a lot of questions being asked to make sure it isn't something else causing you these troubles. There are a lot of things that can cause similar symptoms that are not autism. So carefully getting to the bottom of things takes time and multiple appointments to make sure that a bad or a good day didn't impact the diagnosis. I had to get a MRT too to make sure it is not brain damage that is causing the symptoms. I’m happy to declare that my brain is okay :) I’m however impartial to the diagnosis of autism/Aspergers.

I’m very happy I did this. The diagnosis allows me to get adequate help should I need it and it helps me understand my surroundings a lot better. The neurologist had a great analogy for my situation too: Autists have a different operating system running their hardware. Stimuli get processed in a very different way and there is no filter or automation happening that could help you with even simple conversations... Hence the seeming inability of autistic people to do smalltalk... Imagine the hell that human interaction can be, having to think of every sentence you say because you cannot do it casually or automatically, not being able to read the mood, knowing that you disappointed or hurt people without any chance of preventing it in the future... To many people this sounds weird and like I’m not even trying... I’m and the Neurologist told me I’m really well adapted but there are limits to how well one can adjust. Basically “normal” people have a social autopilot that handles a lot of things for them and autistic people don’t. We can never really relax in a social event because we get battered with details that we can't filter out. It’s tiring and yet I wish it wouldn't be tiring... because I wish to share things with friends and people. It took some time to get things sorted and deal with this experience.

I’m fine and in some way I felt liberated and happy I finally know what is up.

I had to weed out some connections that caused me grief and think of many things that happened in the past. A lot of things make sense now :)

I had an accident too this year breaking my left arm (;_;) and some stuff on my bicycle... I had a strained neck too... the surgeon didn't want to believe how quickly my bones healed (°_°;) The crack that ran through 75% of my Ulna wasn't visible or detectable anymore after 3 weeks...  The accident happened while I was riding at 40 km/h on my bicycle and touched a curb with the wheels... It happened after a long long day at work right when the whole COVID19 thing started to take off in Germany. I couldn’t get lunch at work and had spend the whole day on water with a empty tummy... I was tired, hungry and worn out. I just wanted to go home and didn't pay enough attention...

Anyway I’m fine now :) My bike is fine again too :)

However because of this a lot of tasks at work were piling up and when I came back I had to do a lot of stuff trying to get on top of things... Because I work at a company that makes medical devices the current situation kind of overwhelmed the company as well... basically we get as many orders per month as we used to get within a year... This is incredibly challenging as our suppliers often can't keep up with the demand but I’m very happy to report that everyone of them is doing their best to keep up and to stay on top of the whole situation :,) I’m happy i can do my small part in saving lives and I think that a company where people stick together and try to do their best in trying times is incredibly valuable :)

Last year, while travelling through Japan, I once again noticed how awful tourist spots have become (-_-) Japan is close to my heart and I like the country and its people a lot. Many tourists behave badly, not out of ill intent but out of ignorance... Japanese value quiet, peaceful and clean behaviour but a lot of tourists seem to be unable to behave this way... They litter, leave toilets behind that are disgusting, are rude, don’t pay attention and seem to think Japan is a theme park. I like this country and I’m saddened that other foreigners tarnish the image of visitors and are taking advantage of incredibly kind people who welcome you as a guest :,( I felt bad that I wrote all those articles that might have inspired this kind of people to go to Japan :,( I want this kind of people to stay at home. You're ruining it for everyone else. My friends cheered me up a lot. Still the sight of drunken tourists puking on Takao-San in Tokyo or yelling loudly in a group at a shrine, throwing their cigarets and garbage on the streets in Kyoto, running through the streets while yelling or necessitating the fencing in of neighbourhood shrines because some dippshit thought it would be fun to put graffiti on them makes me incredibly sad. I’m sorry for the negativity but this has been troubling me a lot.

I received some questionable messages too... I’m a guy but some people seemed to assume that I’m a Japanese girl for some reason... 

Anyway I kind of came to terms with things and will start writing again.

I hope people will become more respectful over time :)

I’m sorry for the rant I put in this article m(_ _)m I felt like I had to get it off of my chest because this has been bothering me a lot.

P.S. if you think autism is caused by vaccines, being autistic is better than being dead or to suffer from the consequences of an otherwise preventable disease. You do not “get” autism, one of the conditions that has to be met to get a diagnosis is that you had to have symptoms right from the start. Things that can cause similar symptoms are brain damage, PTSD, ADHD (you are born with that  too and cannot get it) and certain medications. These however are different from autism in that they have to be treated differently. Hence the focus during diagnosis on making sure not to diagnose one of the other things as autism. I showed symptoms for as long as I can think back. 

I hope you’ll forgive me for my long absence and won't change your attitude towards me :)

I’m still me albeit more confident and accepting of myself since I don't need to pester myself with questions like “why didn't i understand that.”, “Why can't I do that?”, etc. :)

Thank you to everyone who read through all of this :) I wish you a great time with sweet daydreams (^-^)/