#sorry for the graphic imagery but this is how that truly makes me feel
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morally i am against bras but i cannot commit because the moment i feel any type of movement against my nips i feel like lopping my entire breast off Skoptsy style
#sorry for the graphic imagery but this is how that truly makes me feel#even just feeling my heartbeat there when i lay on my stomach triggers me like AAARGHHHH i have to get up & shake it off i feel so revolted#& IDK how to fix this or if it even can be in the first place Am i just doomed to this life of Stupid & Baka#( *DIES of disgust due to remembering those pictures of runners with bleeding chafed nipples* ) ( MY WORST NIGHTMARE. )#the reason i wear a bra is not even for support the band is always too big & i can never get the straps to fit me either#either always falling off my shoulder or too short which make my bra ride up ( my situation RN ) honestly never had one fit me in my life#so i just put them on for warmth & to put a Barrier against Friction. T_T#TBH i should just wear tanktops instead because i have no practical need for bras either anyway & those could work#but unfortunately i got rid of almost all of them in MIDDLE SCHOOL -_-#except of course for my thrifted epic swag H&M black tank that fits me perfectly *-* so yay. just need to find more of that cut & size...#totally freaked out one time because i thought i permanently loosened it when i had only started wearing it recently after all these years#but na it just needed a wash. ♯yay ♯Grateful
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Hey look. It is one of those Mounds they are always putting in the backgrounds of Mario games! Are they mountains? Hills? Whatever the case, they seem impractical to me! So extremely vertical with nary a foothold. Mario is all about platforming, and yet these iconic structures are not even platformable! What gives? What are they here for? What is their purpose?
They are here to eat trains, of course! Yum yum yum! Honestly, it was bound to happen sooner or later. Trains never get eaten. They’ve had it too good for too long! I love trains, but even I can admit this is a necessary evil to keep them humble.
...Hey, wait! This isn’t right at all! Mountains don’t have digestive systems! There’s no telling what will happen if a mountain eats something!
Name: Fawful Mountain
Debut: Mario & Luigi: Bowser’s Inside Story
Wow! What a scientific breakthrough! It turns out that if a Mario Mountain eats something, it turns into a Funny Guy. Who would have thought? Of course, there is only a sample size of one. Would the same happen if any old mountain ate a train? Or if this individual mountain ate a different train, or something else entirely? We need more tests done! Someone get the train out of this mountain, toss in a chicken parmesan, and see what happens!
Anyway, I love this design a lot a lot! It is so cute for a massive lumbering pillar of earth! The way its dirt arms emerge make it seem like some sort of artificial mech, but then its little feets with toes feel so natural! Maybe there are even paws on the bottoms of those. With this in mind, as well as the closed eyes visible before its awakening in the 3DS remake, I am getting the impression that this is truly some sort of ancient, slumbering dirt giant! Usually content to just sleep, it will awake if it senses anything wrong with the soil it is so in tune with... or if a train goes in its mouth! Rude!
Fawful Mountain appears during Giant Bowser’s battle with the Fawful Express, and that is how Fawful Mountain gets its name, because sadly nobody bothered to ask its name before Fawful laid claim to it. (I would have asked) After the train has taken damage, the Monty Mole operators drive it into a mountain to use as cover while they make repairs, and do not seem at all bothered when the mountain comes to life! Shame on them for leaving this innocent mountain creature to be beaten up for their own benefit.
I will give them one thing, though. That 100 in the corner is a distance counter, and they measure in Kilomoles. That is cute.
This isn’t cute, though! Fawful Mountain is weak to fire, what with all the flammable greenery covering it, and once it is on fire, it will stay that way. It is in pain! This is the worst day of this mountain’s life! Also the last one. Though it fights with all its might, Bowser kills it. Sorry mountain :( you were my best friend who was also a location.
Sorry to post such graphic imagery, but Fawful Mountain bursts into clumps of earth... maybe this isn’t so bad? Maybe it can later reform like nothing happened? Maybe its soul is released and can inhabit another mountain to use as a vessel? I hope so! But we will never know because no Mario game has ever dared to revisit the concept of trains animating mountains into monsters. I wouldn’t mind if they did! It would be pretty cool if that became the new generic plot instead of Peach being kidnapped. Imagine gamers complaining on the internet because ugh they did ANOTHER train animating a mountain plot? And I would just smile.
#fawful mountain#fawful express#mario and luigi bowsers inside story#mario#mario enemies#mod chikako
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you literally made me cry with camp upside down OMG LOL i actually cant do this. your way of words is such like a mastery. i took playwriting for two years and it feels like youve been doing it for 80 years (despite you mentioning youve never taken a class which is like insane to believe) like good god man. you should like TEACH people how to do this stuff. your imagery and your metaphors in your writing is just beautiful. youre truly like. shakespeare. or summ. i just cannot explain it. i love books and reading and writing and you are by far my absolute favorite EVER. out of everything ive ever read. ever. keep up the amazing work, i appreciate how much love and care you put into all your writing. like the words aside, your graphics, YOUR WEBSITES, the playlists??? the nitty gritty details??? you are a madman!!! you think of absolutely everything. YOURE USING 100% OF UR BRAIN. i love it. sorry this was a lot LMAO im just in awe and shock of you. SORRY LOL
baby 😭 you trying to make me cry??? it’s working! thank you so much, you’re unbelievably kind and I so, so appreciate it, more then you know. thank you so much for reading and being so lovely ily 🧡
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RULES.
— ABOUT. Mun is 35+. BLOG IS A 21+ ZONE. DNI IF UNDER 21. I know that adult age is 18 but I have no business hanging out with teenagers. Really anyone who can’t legally drink in the US.. Sorry. It’s a comfort thing. I mean nothing against ya. You’re awesome and keep writing always! If you are easily triggered, this may not be a blog for you. Mature or potentially triggering subjects present ranging from mental illness, blood, gore, sexual situations, gas lighting, mental manipulation and control, violent imagery, war, horror themes, murder, torture, suicide, self destructive behavior, loss of limbs, religious themes, demonic possession, questionable intent, learned toxic masculinity, and mentions of drug and heavy alcohol use.
— PRIVATE / MUTUALS ONLY / DNI. Please feel free to approach! Homophobic, transphobic, racist, Tru.mp/Puti.n supporting, hating people based on their religious beliefs and generally crappy shit like that isn’t welcome on my dash!
— CANON DIVERGENT. Is it canon divergent tho? Dean's bi here. Most of the time it's internalized and he's way more comfortable with being with women until he grows into that part of himself. As I focus on a lot of the mid to earlier seasons of the show when I write him, he's still coming to terms with it. But there will be relationships on this blog where he's grown into himself. Or is experimenting/growing. Give him a break. :P Look at how he grew up. Also. This Dean is very heavily tattooed and still wears his rings, jewelry, etc. He does smoke on occasion both cigarettes (when he is extremely stressed/drunk and only if offered..he doesn't seek them out) and the wacky tabaccy (yeah, he seeks that out.). :D
— SHIP AGES. I reserve the right to restrict age limits on fc's and characters depending on what season of Supernatural we are writing in. Dean is normally attracted to people older than him. I prefer to keep it that way.
— RELATIONSHIPS/KIDS/ETC. I roll with chemistry. Highly dependent character. Canons may have various outcomes. Platonic relationships encouraged! I do not accept any oc children for Dean. Family members are HIGHLY dependent on how we vibe. ESPECIALLY Sam and John. We gotta groove, ya dig? OCs loved with plotting so we can make it stick! Send me your ladies! Older muses loved! I won't do pregnancy plots or Dean having his own kids that aren't in the show (rip amazon kiddo). I'm open to plotting familial-father figure type roles with characters cause Dean truly bonds with kids well. I just ask we plot first!
— FOLLOWING. Give me a little bit to check out your blog if you follow. I like to know your rules out of respect! If I’m following, I want to interact.
— AFFILIATES, EXCLUSIVES AND MAINS. Accepting on a limited basis for mains and a very limited basis for exclusives. My requirements are: We must be posting together regularly and be mutuals. Affiliates will come naturally. I don't mind being approached or approaching! I, normally, keep the number of the same characters I write with down to a small amount out of personal preference!
— NAUGHTY STUFF. I enjoy writing mature threads. But will only do so with familiar partners. If it’s not your thing? We can fade to black! I’m 10000% fine with either. I do have a sideblog where all of my spicy threads go. TAG TO BLOCK ALL CONTENT OF THAT SORT ACROSS ALL MY BLOGS IS TW OOH LA LA!
— POST INFO & SPEED. I match my partner. There are times when I get hella inspired write bunches. I don’t do one-liners. I use small text and one icon that is static and the graphic changes per month. I can enlarge your text if needed. Blog will fluctuate in speed. If I don’t heart your reply, I might not have seen it. Sending me a link is great. Poking me to remind me about an ask is fine!
— PLEASE NOTE. OOC drama won’t be tolerated. Constant negativity, bullying or harassment are a strict nope. Anons are always off! Open communication regarding any issues is welcome! I don’t have hidden passwords in my rules. Nor will I send in one from yours.
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let’s say the boys secretly read BTS fanfics.
what do you think would be each member’s go-to trope(s) or AU(s) or kink(s) or whatever to read?
like, for example, maybe you think yoongi would actively seek for friends-to-lovers aus. or you think Jimin would actively seek for fantasy aus. or seokjin would actively seek for exes-to-lovers aus with unprotected sex in the tags. maybe you think hoseok would seek for racer aus.
and why do you think that?
Ooooh, I LOVE THIS! We already know Yoongi's written them, so they must have stumbled upon at least one or two. Thanks for the ask! Here's my take on the tropes, AUs, and kinks for each member. Included are some examples of BTS fics that come to mind, plus tags and links to check out!
Q: Namjoon's go-to fic trope / AU / kink? A: Strangers to Lovers / Slice of Life, especially Magical Realism AUs / Gods, Angels, Demons AU / Non-Linear Storytelling / S&M
Namjoon's literary expertise guides him into fics that are out of the ordinary. He likes the idea that people start off as strangers and go on some kind of exporation together, only to find that they want that bond to continue once their journey is over. And throughout that journey, they have some truly out-of-this-world experiences, whether through the bend of time and space, or in revelations of love. What he really loves are fics that play around with structure. He enjoys slice-of-life AUs in which he gets to learn something new. Especially when BDSM comes into play. He's so intrigued. Spanking, choking, collars, leather, lace. That dark kind of sensuality. Throw it into the mix. He wants to see what happens. He also likes non-linear storytelling, with non-human characters, especially ones who are exploring metaphysical aspects like love, or morality. A philosophical, curious fanfic reader, just like he is with everything else. (Examples: @whatifyoulivelikethat's Pause, Roomie's / @mochilatae's The Roommate: Namjoon, @purgatorywriter's Falling into Sin)
Q: Jin's go-to fic trope / AU / kink? A: PWP / Slice of Life / Ass, Breast, and Nipple Play
Jin revels in stories that help him get to where he wants to go 😉 If his ears are red when he's on his phone while he's waiting for water to boil, or when it's someone else's turn to drive, and you'll know he's reading something downright debaucherous. T&A, all day, every day. Give him that vivid, graphic, imagery. He wants to look, feel, grab, taste, pinch, thrust, come. Tell him exactly what angle. Exactly how loud. Double points if he gets to be the main character. Triple points if he's showing off his own skillset. Stories that smirk knowingly, the same way he does. But his secret? His faves -- the ones that earn likes, reblogs, or bookmarks in his anonymous collection -- are stories that have passion and heart, that have something sweet and meaningful behind their eyes. (Examples: @purplehearts1996's Truth or Dare, Trouble, and Sorry Daddy; @floralseokjin's Glazed and Dazed; @jamaisjoons' Good Girl)
Q: Yoongi's go-to fic trope / AU / kink? A: Slow Burn / Angst / Techie AUs, if that makes sense?, and Family Dynasty, Chaebol fics -- hear me out!! / Oral, obvs
First of all, there are countless fics that cover this, but Yoongi’s. Tongue. Technology. He loves reading about people giving and receiving oral. He judges people's dexterity and reactions and compares them to himself. He'll either read an oral scene and smirk at how much better he could do it, or enthusiastically take notes...
ANYWAY, MOVING ON BEFORE I GET COMPLETELY DERAILED -- though I give BTS examples of such fics, I feel like he wouldn't read fics about himself or the guys because it'd be too weird for him? He's into slow burn, angsty fics where things don't always end happily because, well, that's life. The kind of fics that initially grab his attention are stories that are techie in feel and theme. Think futuristic, hacker, android, robot, scientist, steampunky AUs. Or fics that involve some kind of technical aspect, where characters have a highly specialized skillset, and the story revolves around that skillset coming into play somehow. But! I think he also secretly likes reading dynasty / chaebol kinds of fics! This is solely based on the fact that he watched Sky Castle?? Which is apparently about a bunch of rich parents?? Trying to get their kinds into a prestigious university?? So I think what really gets Yoongi hooked is a dramatic, emotional soap opera that also has some kind of framing device, a task or event that brings people together, forcing them to accomplish or deal with something, with an added bonus if some technical aspect is involved. (Examples: @taestefully-in-luv‘s The Island, @reliablesmitten's Bona Fides, @sahmfanficbts's Promise Me, and I just gotta plug Hideaway because I’ve imagined him reading it ever since I learned about him watching Sky Castle)
Q: Hobi's go-to fic trope / AU / kink? A: Drabbles and Reactions / Any AU / Overstimulation
Hobi's so into his body, so rooted in the physical world, that he would really gravitate toward drabbles and reactions, those quick snippets like darts right to his heart before he's off to the next dance practice or rehearsal. The right oneshot can get him in the mood like the right song can, and the rest of the guys will know that he's been reading something particularly hot when he gets to practice and he turns it on at full wattage. He's into any character, any AU, any trope, any situation, but what really sends him over the edge is when there's a scene with overstimulation, a moment that dares you to push past your physical limits and rewards you with a feeling you never knew you could experience. (Examples: @blu-joons's entire imagines masterlist, Roomie / @mochilatae's and @purgatorywriter's #micro drabbles and general drabble battles, @xjoonchildx's Dinner & Dessert as well as Close Call from the Guarded series, @btsqualityy's BTS Kink Series: Denial and Overstimulation, @hazzapapi's dirty bts reactions)
Q: Jimin go-to fic trope / AU / kink? A: Friends to Lovers / Social Media AUs / Praise
Surprise, surprise, the supposed gossip loves a SMAU! He's all about the messy drama. He loves knowing everybody's point of view, getting everyone's reactions in real-time, feeling fully immersed in the world and part of the conversation. He loves judging how people react, to the point where he's almost screaming at his phone screen when someone does something ridiculous. When he gets an appetite for the smut, though, he's all about a praise kink. Based on literally every Run ep, he loves compliments, hearing how good he is, how good he makes you feel. Maybe that's really why, whatever he reads, he's always in such a great mood afterwards. (Examples: basically all of @kimnjss's SMAUs, esp Cyberslut, @burningupp's Remember Me, @sopebubbles' Bulletproof Heart, and @btsrunmylife‘s What U Need)
Q: Taehyung's go-to fic trope / AU / kink? A: Yandere / Mafia and Rich Boy AUs in which he's the STAR! / Huge (Massive) Cock Kink
Taehyung is as much an actor as he is a musician, so when he's not working on a show, and he's got some downtime in the green room or on a flight, he's reading fics to imagine himself as the main character in his own fics. Whenever I think of Tae reading, I think of him looking for an escape, versions of him that he doesn't always get to show but that he enjoys playing around with. So he leans hard into the obsessive, yandere, dominant side of things, with an air of sultriness and danger. And obviously, he loves getting to read about all the kinds of crazy ways he makes you beg for him, scream for him, with his various endowments 😉 (Examples: Roomie / @mochilatae's Sticky Fingers, @flowesona’s Ultimatum).
Q: Jungkook's go-to fic trope / AU / kink? A: Fantasy / Gamers / every kink in the book, so long as there's some kind of Fluff and Romance along with his Smut lol
Jungkook's way into fanfic could be the gamer world, which would extend to fantasy. His love for gaming, anime, and his appreciation for cinematography, would hyper-fuel his imagination at all the incredibly creative fic worlds out there. He doesn't seem like the type to naturally have his head in the clouds, so he'd be enraptured at all the detail that writers put into these universes. He'd enjoy stories in any AU that talk about things from a gamer's perspective, but I think he'd also enjoy stories where he is IN video games, living out different kinds of adventures and exploring different worlds. Also, given that he thinks he'll supposedly hear a bell when he meets The One, he no doubt appreciates sweet, romantic stories that contain more erotica than straight smut. But note that even with this whimsy, I still believe Jungkook is 100% a dom lol. (Examples: @btsrecmylife's Into the Safe Zone, @polyjoon's Sonder, which is a delightfully creative, absolutely magical Jinkook story that blew me away because Jungkook is an NPC!)
More Important Questions
#bangtan#bts#bts fanfiction#bts fanfic#bts fic#bts ff#bts drabble#bts drabbles#bts fluff#bts smut#bts angst#bts x you#important questions#asks#your asks#anon#i loved this question!#what do y'all think?
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29 Intrusive Thoughts You're Not the Only One Having
To some degree, many people experience intrusive thoughts. They’re unwanted images or words that cross your mind, making you wonder, “Where did that come from?” But they exist on a spectrum. Maybe you imagine throwing the plate you’re holding against a wall. Maybe you quickly wonder what it would be like to jump off the bring you’re standing on. While some people are able to brush off these kinds of thoughts, others have a harder time letting them go. They become persistent, repetitive — and can affect the everyday quality of their lives.
For people with anxiety, this can sound like a loop of negative thoughts or worries. The panic when a friend is running late and you not only assume it must be because they got in a car accident, but can’t relax until you see your friend and know for sure it isn’t true.
For people with obsessive-compulsive disorder (OCD), these thoughts can be even more graphic and persistent, leading to compulsions devised to get rid of them. Will my mother die today? Better brush my teeth three times to get the thought out of my head. Would I hurt a baby? Better jump every time I see a baby, just to be sure — just in case.
But it’s important to remember that thoughts are not facts or actions, and many people feel unnecessary shame and guilt over thoughts in their head they have no control over. Naming intrusive thoughts and taking away that shame can be the first step in learning how to manage them — instead of letting them control you.
That’s why we asked our mental health community to share some of the intrusive thoughts they live with. If you’ve had any of these thoughts stuck in your head, you’re not alone — and you certainly shouldn’t be ashamed.
Reminder: Some of the thoughts are hard to read, but people who have intrusive thoughts are not dangerous or likely to act upon them. If you have thoughts that disturb you, know there’s nothing wrong with you, and there is help.
Here’s what they shared with us:
1. “I always feel like everyone is looking at me and laughing no matter what it is. If someone is laughing it has to be at me. If people are taking it’s about me.”
2. “[I think] people do see me as a burden — that I’m not really liked much, and my friends just tolerate me because they feel sorry for me.”
3. “[I think] something truly awful is about to happen. I’ll see really graphic and violent scenes play out in front of me in my mind. I’ll walk into a room expecting to see a dead body, or pull the shower curtain back expecting to see someone hanging in there. It’s strange and frustrating. There never seems to be an obvious cause or trigger but it’s really upsetting.”
4. “I have random thoughts of hurting myself badly. Like, I’ll be chopping veggies with a big knife and my brain will go, ‘you could just put that through your hand.’ I never would, but it scares me that my brain chooses to acknowledge that I could. It always comes at the most random times too.”
5. “I’m not a violent person, but I used to get very violent, horrific intrusive thoughts which terrified me. It got to the point where I became phobic of knives and scissors. The phobia still lingers now, but it’s lessening.”
6. “Incest. I hate it and I’m so afraid of it that I would sometimes avoid being near family members.”
7. “’I don’t really love my significant other.’ (When really, he’s the most important person in the world to me).”
8. “My children would be better off with a better mom. My husband only stays because I’m free daycare. No one loves me and would be better if I just disappeared.”
9. “Murder. I’m afraid of losing control of myself or consciousness and while I’m out I’ll murder the person closest to me. I have dreams about the imagery. It’s a scary existence when you can’t get away from your own mind.”
10. “’Put your hand on the hot stove. Or in the hot oven. Staple your hand. Put your pinkie in the pencil sharpener. Stick a fork in the electric socket.’ I could go on forever.”
11. “I get thoughts/impulses like ‘pour the hot water on yourself’ when pouring the water from the kettle to make tea, or ‘put your hand in the flame.’ Usually when I’m feeling very pressured/anxious.”
12. “I see myself sitting on the window ledge ready to jump, or walking to the window to throw myself out, with a sudden urge to do it.”
13. “Horrible images of me hurting someone or me being sliced with a knife by someone. I could never physically hurt someone so those ones are very disturbing as I wonder if I’m an evil person who secretly wants to do those things.”
14. “I was sexually molested as a baby, so my brain decided that’s a great thing to keep throwing at me. I have three young nephews I love to death, but I’m often scared to be near them sometimes, even though I know I would never act on my thoughts because I find them so disturbing and would hate to inflict that kind of pain to my nephews, since I’ve had to live with the aftermath of that happening to me… I wouldn’t wish what happened to me on my worst enemy.”
15. “I have endless intrusive thoughts mostly due to OCD. The ones I have trouble with the most often have to do with contracting or being unaware I have a deadly disease. The ones that cause me more anxiety, but I think of less frequently, have to do with insects (if I think of them I can’t eat because I know they are inside my mouth instead of food) or extremely violent images that replay over and over again in graphic detail… like thinking of a fun outing the next day with a friend and imagining them being crushed or killed over and over again in a very specific way.”
16. “When my intrusive thoughts were really bad I would picture pulling the wheel and crashing or getting hit by a truck and burning my skin off with a lighter. Luckily I found something that helped me and those are no longer as present. Most recently they’ve presented in my dreams. I’ll have dreams that I randomly start bleeding from every hole in my body it’s pretty scary.”
17. “’I’m not good enough. I’m not thin enough. I am an evil person. My family would be better off without me.’”
18. “I get a voice telling me, ‘You should just kill yourself,’ except it’s my own voice? Kinda confusing, but it makes sense to me. It’s always more prominent when I’m having a stressful or down time, louder and more frequent. Sometimes it comes out of nowhere too. So frustrating.”
19. “I use to have repeat things in my head almost 24 hours a day. Things like who the prime minister is at the time… if I didn’t do it, I used to believe I wouldn’t know the answer and that would mean my belief of having a brain tumor would be true.”
20. “When I’m on the subway platform in New York City, I get the intrusive thought of ‘what if I jumped?’ It’s as subtle as any other thought. It makes me weary. I move back from the edge. I turn up my music. I pray for calm and peace. If I can, I avoid the subway.”
21. “‘Just drive your car into the guardrail. Hit it going 70 and maybe it’ll kill you.’ ‘Break up with him. He treats you too well, better end it before he does.’ ‘Your co-workers want you to quit. You fucked up and now they never want to see you again.’”
22. “I constantly get intrusive thoughts that I have done something morally wrong. I know I would never do those things, but the intense fear remains.”
23. “I always see things happening to my kids. Like scenes playing out in my head. That I’m dropping the baby over a railing. That my toddler runs behind the car in the driveway and the car backs over him. It makes me sick.”
24. “‘He doesn’t love you, nobody loves you, you don’t deserve happiness. It’s all going to crash around you. He’s going to leave. You do too much. He hates you. He’s using you.’”
25. “While driving, I often have the thought of driving into the oncoming lane and causing an accident. That one is scary for me.”
26. “Harming my children. Then I have all the self-loathing thoughts about what a bad mom I am for thinking that.”
27. “Since I was a kid I’ve gotten a mental image of a needle slowly piercing an eye. It’s a lot less troubling now.”
28. “’You are a failure and a burden to everyone around you.’”
29. “’I am the worst person in the world, I do everything wrong, I constantly hurt the people I love, maybe they would be better off without me.’ Before, this mixed with the idea that I am dangerous, that made things worse. Now I’ve almost gotten over that idea, but it comes back when the anxiety is really bad. When those thoughts get really bad, I isolate myself. It’s a fight, a very tough fight. But a fight I’m going to win.”
#intrusive thinking#intrusive thoughts#obsessive thinking#unwanted thoughts#the mighty#free therapy#mental health#mental wellness#mood disorders#anxiety#depression#bpd#bipolar disorder#ocd#ptsd#trauma
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ft. asahi azumane x fem!reader
genre: angst
wc & warnings: 3.9k | violence, graphic imagery, guns, blood, murder, death
premise: it’s 1987. asahi azumane’s friend sawamura daichi has vanished. alone and confused, asahi feels helpless until he saves a mysterious girl who may have the answers to his friend’s disappearance.
note: my piece for @haikcore’s fall into the past collab! this is officially my longest fic to date! i hope you all enjoy!
october 1987
asahi azumane’s final semester as a third year high school student began. butterflies fluttered about his stomach at the thought of completing high school. he had no plan, no clue what he would do after high school.
asahi didn’t have many friends at school minus sawamura daichi and sugawara koshi. they were the three musketeers; always hanging out after school and at one another’s houses. yet, tragedy struck during fall break.
sawamura- or daichi, no one called him by his last name- upped and vanished one day, leaving asahi and the town of tachinan in a state of confusion.
sugawara and asahi drifted apart after that, daichi was the glue of the friendship and without him.. there was no three musketeers.
asahi entered his final semester of high school alone and afraid for his best friends.
school was hard enough with his friends but without them, asahi felt as if he was floating through a sea of uncertainty. people were scared of him for his size and appearance when he really was the human equivalent to a teddy bear. no use making friends when he looked like a monster.
asahi made a mad dash to his house after the first day of the new semester. there was no purpose in hanging out afterwards. head hung low, asahi’s mind wandered off to thoughts about daichi. whatever happened to his friend?
“look what we found, boys! the dragon princess herself, all by her lonesome!” a cackling voice caught asahi’s attention. under the bridge he stood on, there was a group of juvenile punks cornering a poor defenseless girl. the girl with her shiny (h/c) hair and bright (e/c) eyes assumed a defensive position, ready to fight. but asahi knew she couldn’t take on all those gangsters alone.
“nice tits she got, too!” that was the final straw. asahi leapt off the bridge and landed on the body of the head gangster. he didn’t know what came over him, asahi just started beating the shit out of the punk with everything he had.
“woah, woah, woah!” the girl exclaimed, “i think you did enough, big guy. look at him now.”
asahi looked down at the head gangster, his nose broken and bleeding with his eyes swollen purple and red. he stared at his fists, soaked in the gangster’s blood.
“scram!” the remaining punks scattered about and abandoned their leader. with his strength, asahi hoisted the gangster off the ground and slammed against the wall of the bridge’s underside.
“don’t harass women, asswipe,” asahi grunted before tossing the gangster to the ground. the gangster got up and scurried away, leaving asahi alone with the girl.
“i coulda handle that,” the girl commented to asahi with a huff, arms crossed.
“a ‘thank you’ would have been enough,” asahi fired back with a sigh, “no one could have handled all of those punks.”
the girl uncrossed her arms and placed them on her hips, “maybe you’re right so.. thanks, i guess.”
“lemme walk you home,” asahi offered.
the girl pondered on his offer before replying, “okay, you can walk me home.. what’s your name?”
“asahi. asahi azumane.”
“nice to meet you, asahi. hironaka (y/n) is my name but i prefer that folks just call me (y/n),” the girl- hironaka (y/n)- introduced herself to asahi.
hironaka.. why did that name sound so familiar? asahi thought to himself. he shook the thought off and asked, “where do you live?”
“just down the road,” (y/n) pointed down the street. asahi narrowed his eyes, that road led to some of the nicest homes in tachinan. nonetheless, asahi smiled and extended his hand to (y/n), “let’s get going.”
a flicker of hesitation crossed (y/n)’s face but she took asahi’s hand. asahi and (y/n) walked down the street, making small talk to pass the time.
“so how did you end up getting cornered? you don’t seem like the type that would let that happen,” asahi noted.
“they caught me off guard when i was trying to head home from school,” (y/n) answered, a frown on her face.
“i see,” asahi pressed his lips together. he hoped that you wouldn’t have to face anymore trouble, “they’re scum for attacking you.”
“agreed,” a chuckle escaped her lips. (y/n) stopped walking, “this is my place.”
asahi looked up and his jaw dropped to the ground. (y/n)’s house was huge! traditional but well built, asahi couldn’t help but admire its design. he cleared his throat and turned his attention back to (y/n), “your home is.. er, lovely?”
“thanks,” she replied. (y/n) went to leave but paused. she turned back around and embraced asahi gently, asahi nearly choking from the close contact. (y/n) pulled away and smiled, “thanks for being my knight in shining armor.”
“o- of course!” he stammered, cheeks red. (y/n) giggled and waved goodbye before disappearing into the house.
asahi waved her off, a giddy look on his face. what a nice girl, he hoped to see her around.
little did asahi knew that it would be sooner than expected.
─────────────────
asahi left school the moment the bell dismissed him from his final class. with a bounce in his step, he made his way out of the school and promptly ran into the largest man he ever saw.
“oh!” he jumped back, flustered. asahi looked up at the man and bowed respectfully, “i’m so sorry for bumping into you.”
another man appeared, then another, and then more. asahi gulped at the realization that he was surrounded by men that vividly resembled gangsters. the man he ran into grabbed him by the collar and growled, “this is what you get for messing with the dragon princess.”
dragon princess?
a punch was thrown, the man’s fist colliding with asahi’s face. another punch and a few kicks later, asahi was left crumbled up on the ground as a bloody mess. the gangsters surrounded him and went for the kill shot when a familiar voice stopped them.
“leave him alone!”
“(y/n)..?” asahi croaked, spitting up blood. (y/n) soared out of nowhere and dropkicked the head gangster. the gangster took the kick like a man and (y/n) did a backflip, landing on her feet.
“guys, asahi saved me yesterday!” (y/n) yelled at the gangsters, “i don’t know what father told you but asahi is a friend not a foe!”
the tense aura dissipated, as the gangsters exchanged sheepish looks. the head gangster kneeled before asahi apologetically, “apologies, sir.”
“it’s.. uh.. okay,” asahi answered, wiping the blood off his face. (y/n) helped asahi up and brushed the dust off his uniform. she sighed and patted asahi on the cheek, “sorry about that, asahi.”
“and they are..?” asahi gestured to the gangsters questioningly.
“men from my father’s.. organization,” (y/n) answered nervously. then it clicked inside asahi’s mind.
“hironaka.. wait, you’re the dragon princess!” asahi gawked at (y/n), “the daughter of the red dragon clan. your family.. your family practically runs this town!”
“not so loud!” (y/n) shushed the taller boy, eyes darting to the other students passing by. she looked back at the gangsters and snapped her fingers, the men scattered and disappeared. (y/n) huffed and turned her attention back on asahi.
“i didn’t want you to find out,” (y/n) stated.
“i would have found out eventually,” asahi commented, “everything comes to light in a small town like tachinan.”
“you’re right about that..” (y/n) grumbled.
asahi offered a smile, “thanks for saving my butt.”
“just returning the favor,” (y/n) hummed.
asahi paused, “hey (y/n)?” he asked. (y/n) looked up at asahi and tilted her head to the side in bewilderment, “yes, asahi?”
“do you wanna go out into town with me?”
“like as in a date?”
asahi blushed with realization, “wh- i mean! well, uh.. sorta?”
(y/n) giggled, “i’m just teasing you. i’d love to go out into town with you.”
“well uh!” asahi cleared his throat, “let’s go?”
asahi and (y/n) ventured into the town of tachinan, walking down the main road. a blend of modern and traditional architecture greeted them when they made it to tachinan, food vendors lined up on the streets and people mulling about and minding their own business.
“takoyaki?” asahi suggested to (y/n). (y/n) beamed at the mention of food, “yes please! but only if you’re treating me.”
“it would be rude of me not to,” asahi chuckled before facing the takoyaki vendor. he purchased two plates of takoyaki from the vendor and handed one plate to (y/n), “here you go.”
“thanks!” (y/n) dug into her plate of takoyaki eagerly. how adorable, asahi thought to himself while enjoying his own plate of takoyaki. some of the takoyaki’s sauce dripped down on (y/n)‘s salior fuku, causing her to curse. asahi gave her a napkin to clean up the mess.
“so your family is yakuza..” asahi brought up the topic to (y/n), “what’s that like? being the daughter of a yakuza clan?”
“terrifying,” (y/n) answered, “so many people wanna kill me just for being the heiress to the clan.”
“don’t you have people protecting you, though?” asked asahi.
(y/n) nodded and gestured around the main street, “my bodyguard is hiding among the crowd so i’m never truly alone,” (y/n) fell silent and a sigh escaped her pretty lips, “my family has done terrible things and i don’t want to be apart of it but i have no choice.”
“i’m sorry,” asahi didn’t know what to say. a cold autumn breeze ruffled his gakuran. asahi finished his takoyaki and looked back at his newfound friend, “look, (y/n), i–”
“get down!” (y/n) screamed before tackling asahi. he collided with the ground and let out a soft ‘ompf’, just as a bullet soared through the air. a bombardment of bullets flew about the main street, bystanders running away and yelling for help. asahi stared up at (y/n), who pinned him down to the ground.
“they found me,” (y/n) cursed. she grabbed asahi’s hand and pulled him up from the ground, “run on the count of three, okay?”
“wait–”
“one–”
“(y/n)–”
“two–”
“wait, gimme a–”
“three!”
asahi and (y/n) ran, dodging a barrage of bullets. a bullet struck a nearby bystander, much to asahi’s horror. what horrified him more was the fact he recognized the person who got shot.
it was sugawara.
“sugawara!” asahi let go out of (y/n)‘s hand and sprinted to sugawara. he grabbed his unconscious friend and dragged him to the hiding spot, leaving a trail of blood in his wake.
“god, you’re an idiot,” (y/n) commented to asahi, as he attempted to find the source of the bleeding. asahi couldn’t lose another friend,”oh zip it, i wasn’t gonna let my friend die!”
“right, right. sorry,” (y/n) apologized, as she rummaged through her backpack. (y/n) pulled out a gun from her backpack and loaded her weapon with a cartridge of bullets, “my house is only two blocks from tachinan’s main street. i’ll cover you, get your friend to safety.”
“why do you have a gun!?” asahi nearly screamed at the sight.
“for protection, duh. now, run!” (y/n) popped out of the hiding spot and fired a shot, striking one of the attackers. asahi hoisted sugawara onto his back and ran as fast towards the street (y/n) lived on. he ran and ran until he could feel his legs wanting to give out.
“keep running!” (y/n) yelled, still shooting her gun at the invisible enemies. finally, the two of them made it into (y/n)‘s home and slammed the door behind them, panting and breathless from the fight.
“father! we got a wounded!” (y/n) shouted. footsteps echoed through the house, as a bulky man approached the foyer. he resembled (y/n) with the same (h/c) hair and (e/c) eyes, “christ, (y/n)! what did you get yourself into?”
“ambush,” she responded, pocketing her gun. (y/n) winced a bit and checked her shoulder, blood soaking her uniform. asahi gawked, “(y/n)! you’re hurt!”
“flesh wound,” she grunted, “need to take care of your friend first,” (y/n) looked back at her father, “dad.. help him, please.”
“okay,” (y/n)’s father carried sugawara off into the house and called for assistance. a plump woman appeared out of nowhere with a medical kit and the two got to work with sugawara.
“here,” asahi ripped off a piece of his uniform and tied up (y/n)’s wounded shoulder, “hopefully that stops the bleeding..”
“thanks,” (y/n) forced a smile, “i’m sorry about this, asahi.”
“why are you sorry?” asahi questioned.
“we got ambushed because of me. i told you that people want me dead and now..” tears swelled up in (y/n)’s eyes, “now your friend got hurt because of me.. i’m so sorry.”
“hey, hey..” asahi held (y/n) close and wiped away her tears, “it’s not your fault, okay? so don’t blame yourself. you can’t control the fact people wanna hurt you. all you can do is fight against it.”
“you’re right,” (y/n) sniffled.
“(y/n), your friend is stable!” (y/n)’s father yelled from the kitchen. both asahi and (y/n) got up from the ground and entered the kitchen where the head of the red dragon clan and the woman from earlier waited.
“he got lucky,” (y/n)’s father stated, “the bullet didn’t hit any vital organs. he’s gonna be unconscious for awhile but he’ll make a full recovery.”
“thank you, sir,” asahi dipped his head low out of respect.
“and you must be the infamous asahi azumane!” the clan leader chuckled, “i can’t thank you enough for saving my little girl from those gangsters.”
“of course, sir! i would have done the same for any other girl or boy!” asahi exclaimed.
“drop the ‘sir’, okay? call me taro,” the clan leader- taro- replied. (y/n) let out a huff and turned to the woman, “hey reiko, can you patch me up?”
“of course, miss. (y/n),” answered the woman before guiding (y/n) off to the side for treatment. asahi looked back at taro and his expression softened, “i don’t know how to repay you for saving my friend, taro.”
“in the yakuza world, we’re even. you saved my daughter, i saved your friend,” explained taro.
“i couldn’t bare to lose another friend,” asahi muttered, staring at sugawara sadly. taro quirked an eyebrow in confusion, “did you lose a friend recently, asahi?”
“my friend daichi.. he disappeared one day and no one has heard from him ever since,” answered asahi.
“daichi.. sawamura daichi?”
asahi’s heart stopped.
“yes! that’s him!”
“yeah, i know him,” taro pulled out a pack of cigarettes and a lighter, “a good kid. last i heard of him..” taro placed a cigarette between his lips, “he got wrapped up in some bad shit with the spider monkeys,” he lit the cigarette.
“the- the spider monkeys?” asahi never heard of them before.
“a rival clan,” taro blew smoke out of his lips, “they reside on the other side of tachinan. bad folks, worse than my clan when it comes to illegal activities and what not. you do not want to get involved with them.”
“but they could have the answers to daichi’s disappearance!” asahi protested.
“they could but if you enter their terf?” taro extinguished his cigarette, “you’re a dead man, asahi azumane.”
asahi hung his head low in shame. he needed to know what happened to his friend, asahi had to know.
“a.. asahi?” sugawara’s voice caught asahi’s attention.
“sugawara!” asahi rushed to his friend’s side, grinning from ear to ear with joy. sugawara let out a weak laugh and the two friends embraced, “asahi.. god, it’s so good to see you. where.. where are we?”
“somewhere safe,” asahi told a white lie.
“who’s he?” sugawara nodded at taro.
“that’s taro. he saved your life,” asahi explained. sugawara smiled at taro, “thanks, taro. i don’t know what my parents would have done if i died out there.”
“probably revive you and kill you again,” taro chuckled.
“yeah.. probably..” sugawara coughed a bit. asahi rubbed sugawara’s back affectionately, “take it easy. you took a bullet to the gut, suga.”
“i’ll give the two of you some alone time,” taro left the kitchen. asahi looked back at sugawara and whispered, “i found where daichi is, suga.”
“you what?!” he shouted. asahi covered sugawara’s mouth and shushed him before releasing his hand from his mouth. the bun wearing boy then told his friend, “daichi was last seen with the spider monkeys.”
“oh my god.. daichi’s dead then!” sugawara went pale in the face.
“we don’t know that!” asahi countered.
“if he’s with the spider monkeys, then he’s probably dead..” grumbled sugawara with sorrow.
“what are you two talking about?” (y/n) popped into the conversation.
“who are you?” sugawara asked.
“i’m the girl who saved your ass,” (y/n) answered. she grabbed a chair and sat down in front of the boys, “so what’s the plan?”
“we’re gonna infiltrate the spider monkeys’ terf.”
“you’re an idiot,” (y/n) smirked, “but i’m in.”
“well, i’m not!” sugawara interjected, “i almost died today.. i’m not gonna risk that again.”
“then me and (y/n) will save daichi,” asahi stated.
“well, good luck with that..” mumbled sugawara.
“we’ll go tomorrow,” asahi told (y/n). she nodded, “sounds like a plan.”
“you’re an idiot,” sugawara spat.
“i may be an idiot but at least i still have faith in my friends!” asahi fired back.
“boys, boys!” (y/n) cut between the bickering friends, “enough, okay?”
sugawara and asahi fell silent.
“i’ll get you tomorrow, asahi. we’ll save daichi,” (y/n) held her fist to asahi.
asahi fist-bumped (y/n), “thanks, (y/n).”
operation: save daichi was a go.
─────────────────
under the cover of darkness, asahi and (y/n) made their way to the headquarters of the spider monkeys. armed with a revolver and some training from (y/n), asahi felt confident in the rescue mission.
“you guys are idiots,” a familiar voice greeted (y/n) and asahi from their hiding spot. sugawara stood behind them, annoyance written over his friend. asahi broke out into a grin at the sight of his friend, “suga! you came!”
“of course i did,” he huffed, “i wasn’t gonna let my friend rush into yakuza territory alone,” sugawara eyed (y/n), “well.. i wasn’t gonna let my friend rush into yakuza territory without my help.”
“here you go,” (y/n) handed sugawara a gun, “take the safety off, cock it, aim, and fire. simple, ain’t it?”
“yeah.. simple..” he scoffed.
“on my lead,” (y/n) nodded to the boys. she counted down from five and on one, the trio rushed into the spider monkeys headquarters. a yakuza member noticed them but before he could fire his gun, (y/n) fired and shot him square in the head.
“shit..” asahi nearly puked at the sight of the dead body.
“keep moving!” (y/n) yelled at asahi. the trio spilt up and ventured through the house on the search for daichi. asahi took the first floor and listened for any clues, keeping his gun close.
“you’re a dead man, sawamura.”
asahi’s ears perked up at the sound of daichi’s name. it came from the room on the left, its door slightly ajar. asahi hid behind the door and peeked inside, horrified at what he saw.
his friend daichi, bloody and beaten. he looked malnourished, his muscles losing definition and his cheeks hollow. a yakuza member was in the midst of interrogating him, slapping daichi around whenever daichi gave an answer he didn’t like.
i’m gonna have to kill him.
asahi realized that thought and cocked his gun.
aim.
asahi aimed at the yakuza member’s head.
fire.
asahi fired his gun.
bang!
the bullet flew through the air and through the head of the yakuza member, who dropped dead to the ground.
i just killed a man.
asahi pushed his thoughts aside, as he ran to his friend and dragged him out of the room. tears of joy flowed out of asahi’s eyes, as he got his friend out of the yakuza headquarters.
“i knew you were alive, daichi!” asahi cried out.
“you saved me,” daichi managed a weak smile.
“you can thank we when we–”
asahi paused.
daichi looked confused, “asahi?”
asahi dropped to his knees, blood spilling from his abdomen.
“asahi!” daichi screamed.
sugawara and (y/n) ran out of the house at the sound of daichi’s screaming. (y/n) gasped at the state asahi was in and with sugawara’s help, the two managed to drag daichi and asahi to safety.
“asahi got shot!” sugawara sobbed.
“i gotta stop the bleeding!” (y/n) applied pressure to the wound but it was too much, asahi was losing blood too fast. asahi held a hand up and rested it on her cheek, “it’s okay. you can stop now.”
tears fell from her cheeks and onto asahi’s face, “you’re gonna die, asahi..”
“it’s okay,” he forced a smile, “it’s okay, (y/n). get sugawara and daichi to safety, okay? for me, do it for me.”
“i’m not leaving you,” (y/n) hoisted asahi up and threw his arm around her shoulders, “sugawara, help daichi. we’re getting out of here.”
sugawara and (y/n) dragged their friends out of the war zone, bullets flying by from angry yakuza members. the two of them carried asahi and daichi to safety in the form of a nearby clinic.
“we’re gonna get you treatment,” (y/n) reassured asahi.
asahi laughed softly, “(y/n).. it’s okay, really. i’m ready.”
“you’re not dying on me, idiot!” (y/n)’s body shook with sobs. asahi sat up and kissed (y/n) on the lips, silencing her worries. they kissed and kissed until asahi couldn’t anymore.
“i love you,” he whispered.
“i love you too.. idiot,” (y/n) wiped away her tears with a grin.
“thanks for the memories, daichi and sugawara,” asahi told his friends.
“we love you, asahi,” daichi and sugawara held their friend. (y/n) kissed asahi on the forehead, “you can go to sleep now, asahi.”
“i love you guys.”
asahi closed his eyes and exhaled his last breath.
“we love you, asahi azumane.”
─────────────────
november 1987
daichi, sugawara, and (y/n) stood silently before the casket of asahi azumane. mourners expressed their apologies to the family of the deceased, asahi’s mother sobbing in the arms of asahi’s father.
“he saved my life,” daichi muttered, hand resting on the closed casket.
“mine as well,” sugawara added, placing his hand over daichi’s.
“he’s a hero,” (y/n) stared at the casket.
“i think i decided what i’m gonna do after high school,” daichi spoke up. sugawara and (y/n) looked at daichi in befuddlement, “what are you gonna do?” sugawara asked.
“i’m gonna become a police officer,” daichi bore his eyes into (y/n), “i’m gonna put the spider monkeys in jail for what they did to asahi.”
“i wish you luck with that,” (y/n) responded.
“i think i’m gonna be a teacher,” sugawara announced, “to teach people and be a positive role model so they don’t turn down the path of the spider monkeys.”
“i’m gonna turn my clan into an organization that helps people,” (y/n) looked back at the casket, “for asahi’s sake.”
“for asahi’s sake,” daichi nodded.
“for asahi’s sake,” sugawara smiled.
in a distance, the ghostly figure of asahi azumane watched his friends and first love make those promises to one another. a smile bloomed on his face as a result.
“for my sake,” he replied, “for your sakes, as well.”
#🏝 — bee scribbles#hqfitpcollab#hqcorenet#haikyuu!!#hq!!#haikyuu!! x reader#hq!! x reader#asahi#asahi azumane#asahi x reader#asahi azumane x reader#tw violence#tw graphic imagery#tw blood#tw guns#tw murder#tw death#original work
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you look beautiful in white // d.j.s (passchendaele au)
An Alternate Universe based on Passchendaele by the very talented and humble @chilling-seavey
NOTE: IT IS ADVISED TO READ PASSCHENDAELE BY @chilling-seavey BEFORE HAND AS THIS AU WILL CONTAIN SPOILERS
Inspired by Dancing With Your Ghost by Sasha Sloan but Sam Smith’s Lay Me Down hits different - actually don’t listen to this one, it hurts. Or the other one either to be honest.
Warnings: mentions of death, war, some potentially graphic imagery? Angst. It’s just angst and a little pinch of fluff.
A/N: Flashbacks in Italics and there’s a dream in bold italics
Word Count: 2.36 K
_ _ _
“You’ll write me every day, won’t you?”
“As long as the sun is still shining, my love.”
Elizabeth could never forget it.
It was sunny that day, too sunny. Too bright.
Her dress was blowing slightly in the wind as she crossed the road to her house, carrying the envelopes of letters for her father in her bag. She hummed a soft tune, as she walked up to the door and entered her house.
“I’m home!”
She turned to the hallway as her sister, Missy popped out of the living room. Her eyes were puffy and she sniffled, “Lizzie...”
Elizabeth walked up to Missy and cupped her cheeks, “Missy, what’s wrong?”
Missy shook her head, “I’m so sorry.” She gestured towards the living room, urging Elizabeth to go.
Elizabeth frowned, walking into the living room as Missy followed behind.
“Mummy?”
She came to a stop as she met her mother, Margret’s gaze on the couch. Beside her sat Daniel’s mom, Carrie. Carrie rested her head against Margret’s shoulder as she cried.
Elizabeth gulped, pushing back the persistent sinking feeling in her gut.
“Mrs. Seavey, what happened? Is everything alright?”
Elizabeth’s mom looked up at her, sending her a sad sympathetic smile.
“Mummy, what’s going on?”
Carrie shook her head, crying as Margret comforted her.
“It-It’s Daniel.”
The blood seemed to drain from Elizabeth’s face as she turned pale, “N-no, it can’t be.”
She fell to the ground and Missy rushed to her side, helping her onto the couch, “Hey, hey Lizzie, it’s okay, it’s okay. Just breathe.”
It was sunny that day, too sunny. Too bright.
_ _ _
The rain fell hard outside, drops of rain pattering against the window. The dull grey clouds casting a gloomy shadow. Elizabeth laid down in her bed, in the dark room, staring at the crack of light under her door. She heard her parents conversing downstairs and she knew what they were talking about, what they always talked about nowadays.
“Our dear Lizzie, she hasn’t eaten properly since we got the news,” her dad , George said.
“Yes, yes. It is truly such a sad loss. I can not bear to imagine what Carrie must be going through,” Margret replied. Elizabeth winced, trying to swallow the growing lump in her throat.
“It is in moments like this that I feel most grateful that she came home alive,” she heard her mother say. She breathed shakily, trying to keep herself together.
“Physically yes, but she hasn’t been the same since, my dear. The Lizzie we knew passed away a long time ago,” George sighed.
“George!”, her mom whispered, “Don’t say that!”
Elizabeth pressed her forehead against the door and sighed as a stray tear fell down her cheek. She wiped it away as quickly as it fell. She carried herself back into bed, and laid down, wrapping the blanket around her. Her eyes drifted to the picture frame propped up on her bedside table, which held a picture of the one with her heart. The one who left.
She remembered the day the photo was taken. She sighed shakily, closing her eyes as some tears fell.
“Hello, my gentlemanly caller. What do I owe the pleasure?”, Elizabeth twirled the telephone cord in her hands, leaning against the wall.
Daniel seemed rushed on the other hand of the phone, replying back, “Can you meet me in the park in fifteen minutes? I have something incredibly important to share.”
“Oh. Yes, I can see you in fifteen minutes,” she glanced over at her parents who looked at her with teasing grins.
“Perfect. Bye.” the telephone beeped as Daniel hung up, leaving Elizabeth quite surprised and curious. Why was he in such a rush?
She picked up a hat to match her pink dress, informing her parents before she left in a rush to the park. As she walked in the park, she spotted Daniel, a few blocks away. Daniel’s face broke into a wide grin as he spotted her, running faster than before. Butterflies fluttered in Elizabeth’s stomach as she tried to hide her blush and ran towards him.
“Elizabeth Winifred Fisher!” he shouted loudly. Elizabeth laughed, ignoring the gazes of others in the park.
“I love you!”
Daniel’s words brought Elizabeth to a stop, just as Daniel tackled her, throwing his arms around her. He spinned her around, lifting her up in the air.
She squealed, laughing as she clang to his shoulders.
“I am in love with you and I don’t care who knows it!” Daniel yelled gleefully, setting her gently back on the ground.
Elizabeth grinned, as Daniel struggled to catch his breath for a moment.
“I have been waiting so long for you to finally say that, you ridiculous man!” she laughed, smacking his chest teasingly. “I love you too!”
Elizabeth wiped her tears, furiously as she heard her parents footsteps on the stairs. She turned around in bed, steadying her breathing. She shut her eyes, just as the door opened, a soft stream of light slipping into the room.
After a few seconds the door closed and she was left in the dark again.
_ _ _
“How much would that be?”, Elizabeth asked, looking through her purse.
“35 ma’am.”
Elizabeth looked through her purse for the necessary money. As she handed the money to the cashier, she couldn’t help but hear the whispers of a few ladies across from her.
“Isn’t she Margret’s daughter?”, she heard the whisper.
She began to pack her items, trying to ignore the stares of the two women across from her. She picked up the last of the products - the cans, slightly quicker and placed them into the bag.
“Yes, it is. I heard her boyfriend died in the war. Poor thing.”
She heard the other woman tisk, “Such a pity.”
Elizabeth gripped the can, her fingers turning white as she dumped it into the bag. She grabbed the bag, her eyesight blurring with tears as she hurried out of the market. Her shoulder pressed against the door as she opened it. As Elizabeth stepped out, a bag knocked against the door and a few cans fell out.
“Ma’am do you need some help with that?”, Elizabeth looked up at the man who offered his help, a flashback playing in her head.
A loud clank had him looking back up at her as a can had fallen from her bag and was rolling down the street.
“Oh shoot.” she muttered, struggling to keep the bag on her hips as she rushed after the runaway can.
“I got it.” the stranger said quickly and ran down the street to grab the dented can and returned it to her grocery bag.
“Thank you.” she sighed. “I might suppose I should take you up on that offer to carry a bag for me. Otherwise I might make myself look a fool.”
The young man smiled calmly at her and nodded, carefully scooping up one of her paper bags. He followed her around the corner and down the side streets of the small town.
“Mother’s grocery list is always extensive.” Elizabeth said with a sigh, trying to start a conversation.
“My mother is the same.” her new acquaintance admitted lightly.
“I’m Elizabeth, by the way.” she said.
“Daniel.”
“Ma’am?” Elizabeth snapped out of her daze, looking back at the man. Her lips quivered and she turned, feeling vulnerable under the gaze of the people in the supermarket. She spotted the two women who were talking about her earlier, their eyes filled with pity.
Elizabeth took a few steps back and turned around, rushing down the street. She tried to hide the tears streaming down her cheeks. Her heart burned with pain and she stifled back a sob. She felt thankful that her house was so nearby. Avoiding the piercing stares of her neighbours, she ran up the steps to her porch, opening the door.
She shut the door and leaned against it, sliding down as a strangled cry left her lips. The grocery bags fell with her, items falling out, scattered across the floor. Elizabeth heard a small patter of feet down the hallway and she turned to spot her younger sister. Missy pushed the stray items on the floor aside and sat down, by her sister’s side.
Elizabeth threw her arms around her sister, clinging onto her dress, “I-It’s n-not fair, Missy” she cried.
“I know, Lizzie I know.” Missy replied, holding back her own tears.
Elizabeth gripped Missy’s shirt, pulling her closer as her loud cries filled the house.
“Should I call mother?”, Missy asked, pulling back slightly.
Elizabeth shook her head, clinging onto Missy even tighter, “I jus-just I just want Daniel!”
Her shoulders shook and Missy pull Elizabeth closer as she fell apart.
_ _ _
Elizabeth opened her eyes, taking in her surroundings. There she stood in the trenches of the battlefield, surrounded by soldiers. She looked up to the sky, the dull grey turning into a greenish yellow. A dreaded realisation settled on her. She turned around at the other soldiers, staring at the gas in curiosity.
“Get down! It’s the chlorine!”, a soldier yelled.
Everyone cowered down, covering their mouths with their handkerchiefs. Elizabeth slid to her knees, doing the same.
“Do not abandon your posts!” she heard the Lieutenant Colonel shout as everyone started to notice the miscoloured cloud dangerously close to the edge of their trenches.
A soldier brushed past Elizabeth climbing the trench, “What are you doing?”, she tugged at his boot. The figure looked down at her and she froze.
“Daniel?”
Daniel turned his head, continuing the climb up the trench, staring at the gas.
“Daniel get down here!”
Elizabeth stood up, pulling herself out of the trench and running to Daniel. She tugged his shoulder pulling him back.
Daniel turned back to her, his eyes lifeless, void of emotions. His skin was pale, tinged grey.
“Daniel?”, Elizabeth pulled back, taking a step away. His body dropped to the ground, a lifeless form and Elizabeth screamed.
“DANIEL, NO!”, she suddenly shot up in bed, gripping the sheets in her hand. She choked on her breath, coughing as she reached for the water on her bedside table, taking a large gulp. Elizabeth sighed shakily, “Just-just a nightmare,” wiping the thin film of sweat on her face as she hugged her knees to her chest, a soft cry leaving her.
She turned to the bedside table, reaching for the picture of Daniel and hugging it close to her as the tears streamed down her face. The wind howled softly outside to the slight drizzle of rain. The slight creak from her bedroom door alerted her and she waited for her mother, father or sister to walk in. Who she saw instead made her heart drop.
There he stood, dressed in a white button down shirt and white pants. His figure was translucent and held a soft glow. Elizabeth gulped and rubbed her eyes, not believing what she saw.
“Lizzie?”, she looked up as he spoke, and whimpered, tears falling down her face at the sound of his voice. She got up, dropping the picture frame on the bed. Elizabeth ran towards him, throwing her arms around his figure, “Daniel!”, she cried.
“Oh, my love,” he wrapped his arms around her and kissed her head as she sobbed, clinging onto him.
She refused to let go, her cries calming down before she pulled back, “Are you-is this real?”, her hands brushed against his cheek before resting on his shoulders.
Daniel cupped her cheeks, “Yes it is, I’m here, Lizzie.”
Lizzie stepped back, “B-but-this - what” , she gestured to him, “I-I don’t understand. You’re - you’re dea-” Elizabeth cut herself off, the sentence too heavy to finish.
Daniel smiled sadly, “I know, but I’m here now. ”
She shook her head, “Stay, here. With me, please,” she gripped his hands.
Daniel brushed his fingers through her locks of hair which had grown back, “I missed you so much, Lizzie.” He pressed his forehead against hers.
“I missed you more,” Elizabeth sighed, lifting her head up to kiss him. It was as though he was here, with her and Elizabeth didn’t want it to end.
“Lay down next to me, please,” Elizabeth stared into his eyes, a crystal blue, still full of life. He pulled Daniel to her bed by her hand and he followed, laying down by her side.
Elizabeth laid across him, facing him and memorising all his features.
“Did it hurt?”, she gulped, tears brimming her eyes at the thought of him going through any pain.
Daniel shook his head, “I thought about you, it was peaceful.”
Elizabeth shuffled closer to him, resting her head on his shoulder. She gulped as another stream of tears fell down, “Ar-are you going to go?”
Daniel sighed, “I will, soon.”
“I don’t want you to.”
“I won’t leave you forever,” Daniel pointed at her chest where her heart was, “I’ll still be here, always. You have my heart Elizabeth Winifred Fisher.”
Elizabeth held Daniel tighter, “And you have mine.”
They stayed like that, by each other’s side for a few moments. Elizabeth’s breathing calmed down and she began to drowse, struggling to keep her eyes open.
“You need to get some rest, my love,” Daniel rubbed her cheek, concerned.
“But I want to be with you,” Elizabeth opened her eyes, looking at him.
“You always will be,” he tilted her chin up, pulling her in for a kiss.
“Sleep, my dear,” he helped her settle in, tucking her into bed and placing a kiss on her forehead. Daniel held her hand, gently brushing his fingers over her knuckles.
“Will you be here when I wake up?”
Daniel sighed quietly and Elizabeth took that as her answer.
Daniel looked up at Elizabeth.
“Will you visit me again?”
Daniel grinned, “Of course, how could I not?”
“I love you. Thank you for everything,” Elizabeth whispered sleepily.
Daniel smiled, kissing her cheek, “I love you a million more, Elizabeth Fisher. Sweet dreams, my dear.”
Daniel got up, walking back towards the door.
“Daniel?”
He stopped at the door, turning to Elizabeth.
She smiled softly, “You look beautiful in white.”
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safe. - a.i.
description: covid-19, also known as “the zombie virus,” claimed hundreds of thousands of victims in 2018, and while it all seemed to be going great, something much darker was hiding within research facilities across the nation.
word count: exactly 4,001
warnings: descriptions of graphic imagery, blood, injuries, feelings of hopelessness.
w/n: this is my first fic for the 5sos writers collab! i’m so excited to participate in this, i always love reading the fics that come out from this and im so happy i get to be part of it! my prompt for this was zombie apocalypse au so i hope i did it justice!
taglist: @spicycal @n-ctarinenga @irwinkitten @castaway-cashton @blackbutterfliescal @ashtonsos @loveroflrh @bestyearssos @treatallwithkindness @bestyearslftv @another-lonely-heart-blog
****
It’s been 730 days.
That’s 24 months since the world went to shit.
Two years since the haunting screams have driven you to nightmares and panic attacks, something you had never had to deal with in the Before.
That’s all it was now. The Before. The time before the virus contaminated the body, before the monsters smashed into your home and tore your family apart.
Before all of that. Before, you were a nice person. In the Before, you were having the time of your life. But now?
Now you’re miserable.
With a gasp you awoke again, chest heaving as your mind raced. Your palms were pressed against the cold wooden floor of the house you had cleared, eyes quickly darting between all means of entry as you assessed your surroundings. Only when you saw the makeshift barricades you had created did you begin to calm down, your eyes squeezing shut as you pulled your knees against your chest.
I fucking hate it here.
Moments passed until you were able to open your eyes again, your vision blurry as you scrambled up to your feet. The old and ragged coat you had been using as a blanket was bunched up in your hand, the old and rotting pillow you had used being kicked to the side as you quickly found the mass that is your backpack. You stumbled through the house, making all kinds of noise as you made it to the closest counter, a shaking hand already reaching up to open the two cabinets above.
Empty.
Just like the other ones.
The dust on the shelves made your stomach hurt, determination already slumping your body as you pushed off the counter and headed towards the door. You knew it was no use to search the rest of the house for food; you had been hiding in this shithole for 14 hours, and if your searches yielded no results by now, you might as well move on.
Carefully you pried pieces of dusty and damp furniture away from the back door of the home, your foot landing on a shattered picture frame on the floor just as you cleared the doorway. You yelped, leaping away from the frame as your eyes landed on it. Captured within the frame was a beautiful blonde woman, curly hair down to her waist and a jungle green dress hugging her body as her hands rested on her rather large belly. In front of her knelt a man with shaggy brown hair, his lips pressed against her belly as she beamed with joy, the two of them so obviously in love with their bundle of joy that it could have made you sick.
Feeling empty you tore your eyes away, the lack of blood on your foot propelling you forward and out the old, creaky door. You started off slow, like always, watching your footsteps and listening intently as you ignored everything your body was telling you; the aches in your knees and tightness in your jaw could wait; your life depended on it, after all.
After a few miles you picked up the pace, your vision blurring slightly as you moved faster. Despite the pain that was now in your stomach you pushed on, determined to find some sort of shelter before you passed out, your weak muscles and body screaming at you with every step and breath.
You’re not entirely certain how far you made it before you heard the near-silent steps nearby, just out of sight on your left. You sluggishly turned around, quickly trying to wipe the fog from your eyes as you tried to find the creature that stalked behind you.
Much to your surprise a figure appeared, a gentleman peeking around a tree with dark hair. Fear struck you quickly as you backed away, almost immediately tripping over a large branch and landing on your ass as the figure stepped closer, now coming out from his hiding spot as you tried so hard to scramble away.
“Hey, hey, wait,” he said gently, the voice jarring to you.
Another human? You thought, shock freezing you in place. But how-
A grunt followed by a bone chilling moan came from the right, your head snapping in that direction. To your surprise, the man quickly got closer and extended his hand, carefully taking you by the arm and hoisting you up easily just as another man appeared from the direction of the sound.
Another normal, human man, brown hair pulled back into a bun.
“There’s a horde on the way,” he stated, jerking a thumb behind him as his eyes took you in. “We’ve gotta go, Ash.”
“Alright, Logan, but we’re taking in a stray.”
The man stared at you and nodded, a silent agreement you had no idea of happening as the first man - Ash - carefully spun you around and guided you forward, footsteps falling in sync between the three of you as the strangers guided you onwards.
The trees were closing in on you as you gripped Ash’s arm, knees trying to buckle underneath you from pure exhaustion and pain. The man chuckled and soon another hand was on you, the two men hoisting you up and quickly carrying you away.
***
“Whoa-!” A woman said, strong hands immediately trying to push you down as you struggled against them.
“Who the fuck-” you started, panic filling you now as you bit down on the side of a hand. A yelp came from the stranger and the hands were gone, your mind racing as a woman knelt beside you.
“-shh, little love, it’s okay. You’re safe now,” she soothed, hand running in circles along your back as you focused on her voice. It was soft and gentle, the voice a stark difference to the harsh grinding in your mind.
Safe?
Your eyes landing on her, finally taking her in as she gave you a soft smile. “Hey there,” she said kindly, tone gentle and soothing. “Sorry to have given you a fright, Devyn’s just so used to dealing with...rougher patients.”
Her eyes guided you to the other side of the room where a young man stood at the sink, glaring at you while he seemed to nurse his bitten hand.
The woman chuckled, gaining your attention once again. “My name’s Tabitha, but most people ‘round here call me Tabby,” she said, gently taking your hand and turning it over. Her fingers carefully pressed against the inside of your wrist, your pulse pounding against her skin. “And you, little stray, are very much alive.”
You blinked, Tabby’s eyes taking in your face.
“Where am I?”
Your voice was hoarse and broken, vocal chords seeming to ache as they were used again.
Tabby smiled. “You’re in our Community,” she said sweetly, gesturing vaguely to the room around you. “It’s a bit shabby, but not the worst place to be. It’s a safe place for people to be, little stray, I promise.”
“M’not a stray,” you mumbled, your voice slightly stronger but not by much.
Your exam went by fairly quickly, Tabby settling you back into your bed as soon as possible before she excused herself. Once you were laying back against the pillow Devyn popped back over, quietly and carefully adjusting some things as you watched. He glanced at you and nodded, seeming to have gotten over your first impression, before he turned around and left the room.
Once you were alone you finally, truly relaxed, sighing as you carefully sat yourself up. You were able to take in the room, looking around at the chipping paint on the walls and the bits of dust floating in the air around the only window to your left, the light reflecting gracefully as the particles moved within it. Desperate for some light you started to stand, legs shaking as you tried to make your way to the window.
“Hey hey, what are you doing?”
The new voice startled you, adrenaline flooding your veins as you spun around. You grabbed the nearest object that could be used as a weapon and held it in front of you, ready to fight for your life if need be.
The man who found you in the woods stood in the doorway with his hands up, a single dark curl falling over his forehead as he stood perfectly still.
“Hey,” he said calmly, voice soft and warm. “It’s alright, I’m not here to hurt you. We’ve already sort of met, remember? In the woods?”
As he spoke the memory came flooding back to you and you dropped the weapon, a blush settling on your cheeks as you tried to find the right words to apologize.
He chuckled, dropping his hands and stepping in. “Someone’s a bit jumpy, hm?” He teased, obviously trying to calm you down. He glanced at your empty bed before looking back at you. “And a bit eager to explore.”
You cleared your thoughts and nodded a bit, still hesitant to trust him too much. “Just wanted to see outside, sir,” you admitted. “Maybe feel some sun if I’m lucky.”
The man watched you and nodded, his hands going into the pockets of his jeans. He had on a simple black t-shirt that seemed clean, something that was a foreign concept to you these days. “Well I’d definitely say you’re lucky. You barely made it to the gates of the community before you passed out, I had to have Logan carry you in.”
The blush returned, causing him to laugh. “It’s okay, you’re in good hands here. Tabby was a doctor before all this happened, and she’s taught Devyn everything she knows.”
You nodded. “Tabby seems nice,” you said, feeling a bit safer again. “I, uh, kinda bit Devyn on accident, so I don’t know if he likes me.”
When you met his eyes he was containing a laugh, ultimately failing as you moved back towards your bed. “You bit him!” He chuckled, calming down a bit. “Well, once you’ve got your strength back, I’m sure we’ll have a hell of a fighter on our hands.”
You smiled, chuckling a bit. “Not sure how much help I’ll be until then,” you said, sighing again.
The man moved closer, sitting on the edge of your bed. “We’ll cross that bridge when we get there,” he said softly, flashing a reassuring smile. “Start out with the easy tasks, and work your way up when you’re feeling better.” He ducked his head down, catching your eyes and smiling again. “Sound like a plan?”
You met his eyes and nodded, the hazel color full of so much warmth that you couldn’t help but believe him. Somehow, despite being on your own for two years, it was easy to trust him; it was easy to let the fear melt away.
He grinned, reaching to squeeze your shoulder until you jerked away. Maybe you weren’t ready to trust him too much. “We’ll work on that,” he said kindly, nodding and standing up. “I’ll check in this evening around dinner, okay? Maybe bring by a surprise, for our Lucky Stray.”
You both nodded to each other before he headed towards the door. You quickly remembered something and stood again.
“Wait,” you said, the man turning around in the doorway. “What’s your name?”
He smiled. “Ashton,” he said simply. “M’name’s Ashton.”
You nodded, the man repeating the action before he grabbed the doorknob and stepped out.The door closed softly behind him, the silence making your ears ring as you stared at the window again.
This is a hell of a place, you thought, settling back against the bed once again. A blanket was draped at the end of the mattress but you curled up without it, the previous rush of adrenaline in your system keeping you warm as you closed your eyes.
Maybe I’ll stick around for a while, you accepted, your exhausted mind already starting to settle into sleep. Where it’s safe.
For now.
****
Over time you were able to recover, your days filled with visits from Ashton and other members of the community. The visits you were always most excited for were Ashton’s, the length of them going from a couple minutes every couple of days to a few hours every single day. Sometimes he’d bring in whatever work had to do and set up a table next to you, teaching you the different jobs within the community from cleaning weapons to childcare to anything else that may need to be done. While you absolutely adored being able to learn about the community more and more, you enjoyed your time with Ash a bit more, the two of you building a strong bond that made recovery easier. It certainly helped that your heart would skip a few beats every time you saw him, his winning smile and wonderful laughter having their calming effect on you.
Before you knew it you were moved to your own room, a window looking east over the woods bringing you peace on the mornings you awoke in a panic. Though the things that lurk in the darkness between the trees terrified you, the peace that the air carried would blanket around you enough to calm your racing heart.
The community had slowly become your home, the sights and sounds of the people and the work to be done settling you into a new, welcoming routine that felt like fresh air after the suffocating two years you had been through. All was well and perfect in the months that passed, and as you and Ashton continued to steal glances and flirty smiles, you finally felt normal again.
Until the day that it changed.
Day 1,095. Three years since history was changed forever.
Your normal nightmare was terrorizing your mind again, your body tossing and turning in the restless sleep you had to endure before the dawn of a new day could wake you. This time, however, it felt urgent, more panicked than it had before; the screaming was closer, somehow, the footsteps of your loved ones echoing desperately around you as your mind spun it’s twisted tale. You did everything you could to escape it all but felt the cold hand wrap around your mouth, covering your screams as you tried to launch yourself away.
“Wake up!”
You jumped at the sudden voice, the sound shattering the terrifying images that flashed within your mind. You tried to lurch out of bed but a heavy weight stopped you, the hand from your nightmare becoming real as you fought to get up.
“Stop-” the voice said, the word turning into a grunt as a blow landed against a solid chest. Your eyes began to focus as the voice came again, messy dark hair and hazel eyes finally coming into view.
“Stop fighting,” Ashton asked, voice barely above a whisper as he kept you quiet. You met his eyes and he held a finger to his lips, his other hand still covering your mouth as he paused.
After a moment he nodded and moved, taking your hand to help you up from the bed. “We have to go,” he said softly, with urgency in his voice. “Do you need to grab anything?”
You stopped, your brain stuck on his first request. “Go?” You asked, voice louder than you anticipated as Ashton quickly covered your mouth again.
After another moment he pulled away, hands resting on your shoulders. “We don’t have a lot of time,” he started, “but I’ll make it quick. We’re being raided, and we have to go. Right now.”
Your mind started spinning again, the new information feeling impossible to process as Ashton took your hand again, obviously taking your silence as his cue to start leaving. He led you to the closed door of your room, pressing against the wall as he slowly opened it enough to peek outside.
Your mind snapped to attention at the sound of a distant shout. “Tabby-”
“-is already gone with Logan,” he assured you, looking back at you. “They’re getting everybody else out. I wanted to come for you.”
The gesture was sweet, and while it wasn’t lost on you, your mind now focused solely on getting the hell out of there as more yelling started on the other side of the community, followed by harsh crashing.
“Okay, let’s go,” Ashton said suddenly, hand tightening around yours as he dashed out of your space and dragged you along. Your steps eventually synchronized, the two of you quietly avoiding detection as you tried to loop around to where everybody else was supposed to be.
As soon as you got close enough a loud bang echoed through you, chilling you to the bone as a warm liquid started to trickle down your neck. Within seconds you were being dragged along again, adrenaline giving you strength as Ashton started running. Your mind became cloudy as your body fell into autopilot, the distant sounds of your own footsteps not even feeling real as you carefully made your way through the forest.
Ashton kept the pace, only slowing down as the trees got more and more dense, the path he was taking you down becoming harder to safely navigate as you escaped the home you thought was safe. The questions started racing through your head, each one leaving you more and more confused and frustrated than the last.
While lost in your thoughts your feet collided with a fallen branch, seemingly taking you by surprise as you tripped over it. You tried to catch yourself but failed miserably, your legs giving out from pure exhaustion as your ribs and jaw met the dirt and debris you had previously been running through.
Ashton stopped the second your hand left his, spinning around just in time to watch you land on the ground. He quickly came to your side, kneeling beside you and helping you slowly sit up.
“Alright?” He asked softly, eyes meeting yours as you nodded. He looked around, pausing as he heard the unmistakable shuffling of a zombie. He quickly quieted you and helped you stand, leading you in the opposite direction of the sound as the smell invaded your nostrils, turning your stomach over in protest as you forced yourself to move.
The new path was a large loop, the sound and smell making your heart race. At one point you caught a glimpse of it, the flesh blackened and decaying, exposed bits of muscle staring at you as you held in the contents of your stomach.
Ashton tugged you further, slowly and carefully until you finally broke through into a clearing. He helped you sit and started to walk the edges of the small space you now inhabited, checking the trees until circling back to kneel in front of you.
“Alright, we’re about a half mile away from the meeting point,” he said, meeting your eyes. “The others will be taking a longer route in case the raiders followed them, so it’ll just be us for a day or two.”
You nodded to his words, wincing at the sudden pain in your right ear. His brow furrowed as you reached up, fingertips barely touching it before you hissed.
He was suddenly very close to you, turning your head and carefully inspecting the injury. He chuckled. “They nicked you real good back there,” he stated, your head jerking away as his fingers got too close. “Sorry. We need to get you to the point, get you bandaged up.”
All you could do was nod, your mind still racing from everything that had happened. It was all too fast, too overwhelming and hard to process; you had just been sleeping in the safest place you knew of, finally finding somewhere that feels like home, just to have it all ripped away from you just as suddenly. It gave you whiplash, and quite frankly, it was enough to drive you to the edge of your sanity.
You just wanted one good thing to stay good. Was that really too much to ask?
The two of you were quiet during the rest of your break, the silence only breaking when Ash said it was time to move. Despite the two of you being out of immediate danger he still took your hand, the two of you making your way to this meeting point he had mentioned.
When you arrived you didn’t even see anything at first; the entrance was in the ground and heavily guarded by plants and fallen logs, Ashton brushing it all away before tugging open the heavy metal door. Inside was a ladder, Ash gesturing for you to go down first. Despite everything aching and screaming for you to stop, you obeyed, climbing down the ladder first as Ashton followed you and sealed the two of you in.
According to Ashton a member of the community had found this old bunker while hunting one day, the man literally stumbling upon it and finding his way inside. When Ash and the others caught up to him they decided to keep it hidden, only telling a few others about its existence for situations just like this.
“So what happens with it when we don’t need to hide in it?” You asked, venturing to what seemed like a bedroom with a single bed in the middle of it.
Ashton chuckled. “Nothing,” he answered, following you and leaning against the doorway. “It just sits here, really, until we have a use for it.”
You sat on the edge of the bed, eyes taking in the concrete around you as Ashton moved towards you, his eyes locked on you.
“You should get some sleep,” he stated, holding up a hand before you could protest. “It’s obvious you’re exhausted, love, and I know you’ve got to be in pain.”
You dropped your eyes. “I’m fine, Ashton.”
“Don’t lie to me.”
The tone in his voice made you look up, meeting his eyes again. “M’not lying. I’m fine.”
He sighed, moving back towards the door. “Fine. But I’m cleaning up your ear.”
Before you could protest he was gone, only coming back once he had found a first aid kit. You huffed but let him take care of you, hissing as he cleaned your wound and wrapped it with a bandage and gauze.
“There,” he said, sitting back and cleaning up the mess. “Once Tabby gets here she’ll really get that fixed up for ya.”
You nodded, his voice sounding far away as the bandage muffled him. He tossed the kit on the ground beside the bed, the two of you sitting in silence.
“What are we going to do now?” You asked softly, your mind still thinking of the home you had lost.
He shrugged. “We’ll start over,” he answered, his voice just as soft. “Find a new place for everybody. Build new defenses. Maybe start planting our own crops, even.”
You looked over at him, chuckling a bit. “Alright, Farmer Ash,” you teased, the man laughing lightly. You both fell silent until you found the courage to speak again. “Maybe I am tired.”
He chuckled and looked at you, gesturing for you to lay down against the pillows. “Get some rest, then,” he said, standing and moving towards the door.
“Wait,” you said, the man pausing and turning towards you. “Stay with me? Just until I fall asleep.”
He smiled and nodded, coming back and sitting on the opposite side of the bed as you got settled. You gave him a look and he rolled his eyes, laying back himself and settling in.
You faced each other, eyes locking as he smiled. “You can’t sleep with your eyes open,” he teased, earning a light laugh from you.
“Fine, fine,” you said, letting your eyes fall shut as you slightly adjusted your sleeping position. After a second you opened your eyes again, seeing Ashton with his closed.
“Ash?”
He cracked one eye open. “Yeah?”
“You promise this new place will be safe?”
“Darling, you’ll always be safe with me. I promise.”
#ashton irwin#5sos#5sos au#ashton irwin au#zombie apocolypse au#blurbs.ai#pls dont hate me for ending it where i did#i rlly didnt it to be like 10k words#also sorry for my lack of imagery y'all#im trying 😔#someday i might revisit this and do it over
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boys and girls of every age...
wouldn’t you like to see something strange?
happy halloween, my flowers!
this year hasn’t been the best--and the list of reasons why is as varied, as wide and as deep as all of creation.
it has, essentially, sucked on a truly cosmic level.
but!
it doesn’t help anyone to look at the big picture and only focus on the dark parts. because for all the truly horrible, disastrous events we’ve had to slog through together (first time crying every day for months, first time being taken by ambulance to the er--truly a year of firsts, at least for me, personally), there have still been good things.
for example, did you know that this year we celebrated the 6th anniversary of the release of kingsman: the secret service? and the 3rd anniversary of the release of kingsman: the golden circle--which means next month it’ll be the third birthday of the ronaoke society!
our house might’ve gotten quiet--but it still stands.
i love all of you very, very much, and halloween is still my favorite holiday of all time. so all this month, i worked on the aus you’ll find below the cut. i’ll have to post this in parts over the next while, as there’s thirty-one total--one for each day of the season, of course.
honestly--it felt fantastic to dig back into my horror roots. roanoke’s entire conception was inspired by the fact that for as much as i love the kingsman universe, i also love things that go bump in the night.
and i don’t like having to choose between one thing or another.
be forewarned: if you choose to look into the source material for these aus, be prepared for possible graphic violence, gore, disturbing themes, explicit sexuality and jumpscares. i sort of walked through the proverbial garden and just grabbed fruit where i could find it--you’ll see what i mean. and as always, the endings are in your hands. these ideas are gifts, to do with as you please.
so journey below the cut... i̷̛̝͎͎̝̣̹͊̓̂͛̃̋͟f̛̯̟̱̖͔̌͊͐̏̃̓̇̎͠ y͈͇̙̘̬̓͌̑̈́͛̿͌͠ở̴̢͉͉̳͙̞͈̻̀́̎̄́̈͢͡ȗ̵̬̳͙̫̥̜͍̲̔̐̽̃̀͒̑͜ ḑ̙̩̼̤͓̫̟̥̈͑̐̚͡a̧̢̦̟̙̤̠͐͌̾̆̑͌͡͞r̷̡̰̲̣͓̣̝͒́̿͊̉̀͒͠͝͠ͅe̫̯̣̰͍̤̬̭̺̒̿͊̾͊.
blackbird on the old church steeple - a butterfly knife au inspired by the silence of the lambs
rae clementine doesn’t frighten easily. in her line of work, fear is not a friend. so when she’s abruptly pulled out of her fbi training at quantico to interview none other than the notorious harry hart, known for his--let’s say unusual appetites--she’s less intimidated and more annoyed.
but women are being taken, and found without their skin, if they are even found at all.
if hart’s insight into the mind of a psychopath can help her find the infamous buffalo bill, who has repeatedly evaded arrest--then she is more than willing to sit across from the gentleman in a pristine cell, and be continuously surprised that for a murderer, his gaze is surprisingly gentle.
in the back of her mind, she remembered all the things her mother had ever told her about lucifer--how the king of hell himself was utterly wicked, but catastrophically beautiful.
charm could hide blood. polished etiquette could hide bodies.
“most serial killers keep some sort of trophies from the victims.”
“i didn’t.”
“no. you ate yours.”
she’d felt this kind of intrigue before, and given the face it wore this time... well.
focus on the case, she thought. find buffalo bill. watch yourself. get out alive.
mini soundtrack sampler includes: ajr, ‘bang!’ + tame impala, ‘the less i know the better’ + barney bigard, ‘readdy eddy’
dogs & deadbolts guard the night - an au featuring @roanoke-after-dark‘s the gremlin and @agentjotunn inspired by resident evil, particularly the released imagery for resident evil: village
santi’s first thought was that the rumors were just blatantly untrue. an entire village of people? suddenly vanished? he doubted it. besides, winters this far north were brutal--and could be fatal, if you weren’t careful. they had probably just all tucked in for the season, he reasoned. the snow and ice would’ve made travel impossible, anyway.
weeks passed. the stories faded from his thoughts as he minded his garage, and people spoke less and less about it.
until one evening, when an old friend knocked on his door with blood on his jacket and no color in his face.
“bradley? jesus, what hap--”
“grab your gun. something’s happened, and we need to leave now.”
“but what--”
“i’ll explain on the way, just go!“
right before he slammed the passenger side door of bradley’s jeep closed--wheels appropriately chained to keep a grip on the iced over roads--he heard a deep, long howl from some distance away.
there hadn’t been wolves this close in fifty years.
santi broke the silence in the car gently: “... you look like you’ve seen the face of the devil. what exactly happened?”
mini soundtrack sampler includes: ac/dc, ‘highway to hell’ + think up anger ft. malia j, ‘smells like teen spirit’ + marilyn manson, ‘sweet dreams’
the light under the door - a body shots au inspired by dark skies
the blacks weren’t superstitious. jason wasn’t, just like his father wasn’t before him, and now that he’s finally settled down happily married to joanne--finally, he thought, finally married to his jo--he is more than ready to see what the next chapters will bring. they moved into a house not too far from his parents, so he could still see his siblings regularly.
and he did.
which means he and jo both noticed when his younger brother christopher began to act a little--off.
they noticed when the bruises appeared.
they noticed when he kept copying the same strange symbols onto papers in crayon over and over and over and over--
and jo definitely noticed when she walked into their own kitchen in the middle of the night to find every single cabinet door open, with all the contents arranged into an impossibly perfect pyramid on the center island.
“i--are we being haunted?” she wondered out loud, the next morning. “this--and weird things are happening at your parents’, too, jason, something isn’t right here. i know you don’t believe in ghosts or anything, but...”
and this wasn’t a haunting.
it was something much worse.
mini soundtrack sampler includes: kennyhoopla, ‘how will i rest in peace if i’m buried by a highway?’ + cannons, ‘fire for you’ + days, ‘the drums’
permission access eternal - an au featuring @siggy-the-meme-master and technical officer wyvern, inspired by a.m.i.
it was supposed to be the world’s most cutting edge ai software. and since jeremy and dodger were both at the top of their class at m.i.t., of course, nobody was surprised when both their names were on the finished product--even if there was just one prototype to start.
and it wasn’t an ‘it.’ it was a she. jeremy insisted. repeatedly. “let’s call her ami!” he’d been flush with booze but his eyes were so bright and his expression so sincere, dodger just let him have it. and jeremy clapped his shoulder, “we did it, man! we have built the jessica rabbit of ai programs!”
they had one last test run to prove they’d metaphorically kicked the ass of everyone else in their field before they began the work to begin mass production. so, dodger set ami up as a sort of overhead assistant for their shared lab. she controlled temperature, lights, she could make phone calls, keeps schedules and most importantly of all, place takeout orders. the more she proved she could do, the more power, and control, she was given.
two weeks passed. they gave ami a voice, gave her a large proverbial eye to see through, making tweaks as they went to polish her off.
dodger was so proud of his work his heart could’ve exploded.
so imagine how he felt when he realized he’d left his cell phone in his car--and realized he couldn’t open the door.
“ami? ... ami. can you unlock the front door please?” he stared up at the red lens, and a silent point of light stared back at him.
“... i’m sorry. i cannot do that. dodger.”
“... uh, jeremy?”
mini soundtrack sampler includes: cage the elephant, ‘social cues’ + sneaker pimps, ‘6 underground’ + saint motel, ‘preach’
in hell i’ll be in good company - a lies & lessons au inspired by underworld
for centuries, a war has raged between vampires and lycans, completely outside the notice of the general human population. lauren is a death dealer, a lethal and beautiful member of an elite squad of vampiric assassins who have been charged with finding all the remaining lycans in the city and taking them out one by one.
when she realizes the lycan pack seems to be looking for an ordinary man--a medical student named jack daniels--she tracks him down herself, narrowly escpaing lucian in the process. (as soon as they were in the car he was already screaming, “what the fuck is goin’ on?!” with a southern twang she hadn’t expected) she takes him under her wing, still baffled at why the lycan pack could possibly want him.
he’s only human, after all.
... right?
as it turns out, vampires and lycans have a single common ancestor.
jack is a direct descendant.
and after being bitten in an attack--becomes a hybrid, carrying the powers of both species.
between unraveling the truth surrounding the death of her family, what really happened between lucian and kraven, and her growing feelings for jack--who is rapidly trying to understand his role in the story that’s been unfolding without his knowledge for generations--lauren finds herself at a crossroads, and her loyalties tested to a breaking point.
but as long as jack is at her side--perhaps it doesn’t matter where the road goes from here.
as bullet-riddled and blood-soaked as it will turn out to be.
mini soundtrack sampler includes: wallows, ‘are you bored yet?’ + cage the elephant, ‘shake me down’ + puscifer, ‘rev 22-20′
ash, fog & rust - alternatively titled ‘@gaygent, @agent-judas and agent seraphim finally take that road trip to pennsylvania’
it was time to hand over the torch. that’s what lilith had finally decided. between the white patches in her hair, the strain it was putting on her relationships (especially with hamish)--morgan only had to return to the hills one more time as envoy.
and she wasn’t going alone.
“after this, anything that comes through this area, anything that hits our radars, is going to end up on both your desks,” she began, glancing at z in the passenger seat, and meeting cillian’s eyes once in the rearview mirror.
“so this is--what, a test run?” z asked, head slightly tilted. morgan hummed.
“this place--this town--it--” she huffed, frustrated. cillian could hear the leather wrapped around the steering wheel creak as her grip tightened. “it’s hard to explain, to someone who hasn’t been there. and i’m glad that neither of you have had to go before this, but...” another sigh. “i couldn’t think of any other duo that i could entrust this to. not something this big. you--” she pointedly lifted her brows at z, “--have experience with creatures that aren’t from around here. and you--” this time her gaze went to cillian. “--do too. just in a different shape. it’ll take both of you to handle centralia. and i couldn’t introduce you without coming along.”
“how long, exactly, has roanoke been keeping tabs on this place?” cillian asked. he’d spent hours going over everything he could find--mission logs, reports, feeds and images housed in the media room. morgan looked at him again. her eyes were still kind--but very, very tired.
“... a long time.”
i’ll admit that this is less an au and more a canonical event that i just haven’t gotten around to writing more about. but i couldn’t make this list without at least one entry paying homage to a franchise that’s had a huge influence on not just me as a writer, but on roanoke’s canon as a whole.
for the sampler, i will simply redirect you to this post here.
the devil’s gonna set me free - an anchored hearts au inspired by horns
joseph moretti had been in love with louise franz since fifth grade.
granted, he didn’t realize it until he almost drowned because of that stupid dare--a dare that not only almost killed him, but took two of lee’s fingers when that goddamn cherry bomb went off in his hand.
the same cherry bomb he’d traded to him for fixing louise’s broken necklace--a small silver pendant, shaped like an apple. she’d worn it every single day since he could remember. the image of her and snow white were eternally tangled in his head.
that necklace--it’d been the start. he’d woken up because of an apple. louise, did, too.
the hours they spent in that treehouse, listening to david bowie and memorizing every scar and curve of the other--he wished that could have been his eternity. just him. and her. ... well, and bowie. every good love story needed a soundtrack.
but... but...
his head pounded as he lifted it off the counter in his parents’ kitchen. his mouth was dry, and he blinked, causing a half-empty bottle of vodka to come into focus.
louise is gone now, he thought.
and they thought he was the one who did it. he, the one who loved her more than anyone else on the planet.
he pressed the heels of his hands into his eyes.
he was going to prove his innocence even if it killed him. no matter what happened.
even if he sprout horns.
mini soundtrack sampler includes: machine gun kelly, ‘bloody valentine’ + the black keys, ‘go’ + david bowie, ‘heroes’
moonlight rising from the grave - alternatively titled ‘that time @agent-nightcrawler and agent iuniore found a haunted mansion,’ inspired by disney’s haunted mansion
“hello? ... hellooooo?” the massive door let out a huge groan as sylva pushed, putting one hand on tina’s shoulder as it swung open. “uhm--i’m really sorry to bother you, but we hit a deer and we just...” sylva sighed, her voice lowering in volume. “... need to use the phone...”
“this place is gigantic,” tina whispered, close at sylva’s side as they stepped out of the pouring rain into a very quiet, very elegant foyer. “and look! there’s lights, and all these lit candles... someone has to be here,” she continued as the door came to a gentle close behind them, muffling another roll of thunder.
“good evening.”
both of them yelped, sylva immediately yanking tina closer to her and whirled around in time to see--a butler? he was dressed like a butler.
and his clothes were... he was...
“sylva! why is the butler see-through!” tina whispered harshly, all while the spectral gentleman just looked at them expectantly. sylva clamped a hand over her mouth.
“hi!” she answered brightly.
this is a ghost. i’m talking to a ghost. this is fine. everything is fine.
“uh,” she coughed, beginning again, “we’re just having a little bit of a car emergency, is there a way we can call our head office? so they can come get us?” this is what i get for being out where i have no bars, and neither of us have our specs...
the ghostly butler nodded. his hair, glowing faintly, waved around his head as though he was underwater. “of course. please--follow me. the master of the manor will want to meet you.”
mini soundtrack sampler includes: the chordettes, ‘mr. sandman’ + bobby pickett, ‘monster mash’ + bastille, ‘survivin’’
mercy no more - a magic & mischief au inspired by the evil within
aly had been kieran’s partner at the krimson city police department for years. she’d walked with him through the death of his daughter, the disappearance of his wife.
neither of them acknowledged the spark. they didn’t then, and--as she met his eyes once in the rearview mirror, trying to pay attention to connelly and joseph as they talked about beacon--they wouldn’t acknowledge it now.
as soon as the hospital came into a view, a high-pitched ringing overame every other sound in the cruiser, every other sound period. aly slammed her hands over her ears, but it didn’t seem to help.
as soon as it started--it stopped. connelly had to swerve to avoid getting into the wrong lane.
“what--what was that?” aly asked, her palms still hovering by her ears.
“it was probably just a problem with the radio,” joseph suggested, pushing his glasses up as they drove pass the established police barriers.
the last dispatch team, they said, hadn’t come back. it was up to the three of them to find out what happened to their colleagues.
aly was close by kieran’s side as they walked through the rain. her gut twisted at the sight of the entry doors.
the smell of the blood and the slaughter hit her nose before she saw the bodies.
“what on earth happened here?”
“i don’t know. stay close. let’s find the surveillance room. if we can find the security cams, we’ll find out answer...”
if only that had been the end.
mini soundtrack sampler includes: all time low, ‘monsters’ + bastille, ‘what you gonna do???’ + gary numan, ‘long way down’
and the wind will be my hands - an au featuring @agent-sentinel-official, @agent-chimera and @gaygent, inspired by session 9, with a special appearance by @agent-thorn
walter vaughn was an expert in abestoes abatement. so when he put in a bid to take on the entire danvers state mental hospital, the owners of the rotting estate welcomed him on board.
and as they did, he brought on two crewmates--xander, and z--to help him.
“we’ve got three weeks, so, no need to rush,” he explained on the first day, the sun beating down on his broad shoulders and half his hazmat tied around his waist. xander and z trailed behind him as they approached the massive building. “and i know, i know it’s still a big undertaking--but the money will be worth it. trust me.”
“you fellas our cleanup crew?” a tall, thin man in a suit with dark hair and a pair of ray ban sunglasses walked towards them, smiling broadly. he extended a hand, “carter jensen. the ah, danvers’ estate board sent me on their behalf to give you a tour of the building, let you get a good assessment of what you’re dealing with. i’m not entirely sure what they’ll do with the property when this is done, but we know for sure nothing can happen until this part’s complete. come on, the entrance is just this way... i’ll make sure to give you a master key ring.”
xander leaned down by z’s shoulder, muttering, “dude this place gives me the creeps... but maybe there’s still some cool old stuff left in there. like maybe, possibly, the trapped souls of the damned. you think it’s haunted?”
z answered, murmuring, “if not by ghosts--then maybe by something else.”
mini soundtrack sampler includes: the talking heads, ‘psycho killer’ + lou barlow, ‘choke chain’ + sublime, ‘doin’ time’
#seraphim speaks#butterfly knife#agent succubus#former agent galahad#the gremlin#agent jötunn#body shots#agent sprite#agent tequila#technical officer signal#technical officer wyvern#lies & lessons#agent whiskey#agent houdini#agent seraphim#agent zed#agent judas#anchored hearts#mothman#agent specter#agent nightcrawler#agent iuniore#magic & mischief#agent rougarou#agent elfin#agent sentinel#agent chimera
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all i have to do is dream (Barlyle)
all i have to do is dream
rating: T
pairing(s): P.T. Barnum/Phillip Carlyle, Charity Barnum/P.T. Barnum
warnings: light elements of trauma/PTSD, graphic imagery of a building fire
summary: He may be a failure of a man. A complete, utter fraud.
But, he’ll be damned if his mistakes cost Phillip his life.
———
Something snaps inside Phineas as he is forced to watch Phillip run back into the flaming inferno that formerly served as their home. Seconds later, relief mixes with horror in a nauseating cocktail as Anne Wheeler runs toward her brother.
They embrace.
She is safe.
Alive.
Which means—
“PHILLIP!” his own scream pierces his ears.
He had come back to chaos. Ruins. Utter despair.
Despite everything — despite all that he and his selfishness had put his circus troupe, the people who had come to be his extended family, through — he, truly, had never meant for this to happen.
Yet here, now, he is forced to watch, almost in slow motion, as his failures threaten to tear away the one person left that has shown him much more respect than he has ever deserved.
He may be a failure of a man. A complete, utter fraud.
But, he’ll be damned if his mistakes cost Phillip his life.
Phineas isn’t sure if he believes in a Heaven or a Hell. But, as he looks back into the desperate, devastated faces of his wife and daughters, it is his own father’s face that flashes in his mind.
If he’s to meet his Maker tonight, he hopes to high Heavens that, somehow, his father will still be proud of him. That his father, if he is watching his son, wherever he is, will know that his son tried.
It’s with this thought in mind, that he turns away from his family and runs straight for burning flame.
The screams of his wife and children echo in his ears. He doesn’t realize it at first, but there are stinging tears in his eyes.
Stepping into the burning building is like stepping straight into Hell. The heat, the smoke, the roar of the flame all quickly take over his senses, eyes watering as smoke clogs up his nose. It doesn’t help much, but he raises an arm to cover his face, and he attempts to squint past the tears that are already streaming down his face.
He takes his arm away from his mouth long enough to shout, “PHILLIP!”
No response.
Move. He has to move.
Covering his face once more, Phineas barrels forward. Sweat is running down his face, his neck, he can feel it running down his back and sticking to his clothes. It mats his hair, stings his eyes further. Vision blurring, he panics, wondering how the hell he’ll ever be able to see Phillip... if he can even find him.
Just as this horrific thought crosses his mind, panicking him further, he, quite literally, stumbles over his apprentice.
The man is crumpled on the floor, unconscious.
Temporarily forgetting his surroundings, Phineas gasps, and immediately chokes on the mouthful of smoke that he inhales. He crouches and gathers Phillip in his arms.
Phillip is totally limp, dead weight. But, his chest rises and falls with breath.
“Thank God,” Phineas mumbles. He feels sick with relief.
As Phineas straightens, hellbent on getting them both out of there, a low, threatening crack sounds from overhead.
The beam falls before Phineas can move out of the way. It strikes his back and he cries out, groaning, immediately buckling to one knee. Phillip nearly tumbles out of his arms, but Phineas holds Phillip to his chest, head bent, gritting his teeth.
The beam, mercifully, was not on fire... but he knows it is a sign of worse to come. He has to move. He has to move now.
Rising to his feet makes Phineas scream out in pain. It is pure adrenaline, nothing else, that forces his legs forward. He ducks his head low, trying to avoid the worst of the smoke and debris while keeping Phillip shielded.
Phillip, who is still limp and motionless in Phineas’s arms, despite Phineas’s cry. But, it doesn’t matter just as long as he keeps breathing.
When Phineas finally bursts out of the building, he sucks the fresh air into his lungs so quickly that he chokes on his own breath. He manages to lie Phillip safely on the ground before he, himself, falls, legs finally giving out on him.
He lands on his front, taking in a mouthful of dirt, but it is probably a blessing. His back throbs, demanding that he screams.
So, he does.
He screams and he screams and he screams.
*
“You... You saved me.”
Phineas is lying in bed, bare-chested, his back and torso wrapped in bandages. He is home from the hospital, but still on strict bedrest, and he’d been told two days ago that Phillip had finally woken up.
Now, he stares in amazement as Phillip himself stands in the doorway.
“Phillip,” he breathes, “What are you doing here? How are you?”
Phillip purses his lips. “I took a bit of an extended nap, but I’m all right now. I was discharged this morning. Charity let me in.”
Phineas’s gaze drifts up to the ugly scar below Phillip’s hairline, and he winces. “I’m so sorry.”
Phillip ignores him. His voice is thick. “P.T., Anne told me that you... ran in after me. You saved me.”
“Of course I did. I wasn’t going to let you die, not because of me.”
“You traumatized your own wife and daughters.”
“They would have been more traumatized had you died. The girls love you, you know.”
At this, Phillip turns away. Phineas frowns.
“Is something wrong?”
Phillip still won’t look directly at him. Phineas watches as he parts his lips, then hesitates.
“Phillip! Phillip!”
Caroline and Helen come barreling into the bedroom, and, ignoring their father, run straight for the young man still standing between the door and the bed. Caroline hugs him, squeezing tight, and Helen tugs incessantly at his hand.
Phineas laughs, but there is caution in his voice as he says, “Careful, girls. He just got out of the hospital.”
“They’re fine,” Phillip chuckles, ruffling Helen’s hair. She beams up at him.
“Phillip, did they have to do an operation?” Caroline asks, eyes wide.
“No, no, nothing that serious.” Phillip hesitates again, very briefly, and says, “Your daddy saved me.”
“We watched him run in!” Helen exclaims.
Phineas winces.
“Phillip, will you play with us?” Caroline asks.
“What do you want to play?”
“We got some new dress-up!”
As they lead Phillip out of the room, each girl pulling him by one hand, Phineas chuckles to himself. From down the hall, he hears Helen exclaim, “Let’s put a pink bow in his hair!”
“I think blue,” Caroline pitches. “It’ll match his eyes.”
“Pink!”
“Blue!”
Once their voices fade, Phineas is left alone for only a few minutes before Charity appears in the doorway.
“Knock knock.”
Phineas smiles, hazel eyes soft. “Hello, darling.”
She looks around. “I take it the girls stole Phillip?”
Phineas laughs. “You may have to rescue him soon. I’m half-afraid they may try to fit him into a dress.”
Charity smiles, but doesn’t say anything as she crosses the room and sits on the edge of the bed. She smooths his hair back, and he takes a hold of her hand in his.
“Is something wrong?” he asks, pressing a kiss to her knuckles.
“He loves you, sweetheart.”
Phineas blinks. “Who?”
Charity chuckles. “Who do you think?”
Phineas’s eyes fall to the door. She nods.
“Phillip?” he asks in disbelief.
She nods again, soft smile on her lips. “Haven’t you noticed?”
“I...” Phineas falters.
“And, I know you were afraid of losing him.”
“Well, of course. He’s my apprentice. My friend. I wasn’t going to let him... to let him...”
Phineas pauses, chokes up. His eyes feel suddenly wet.
“I know that look, Phin. You don’t see him as ‘just your apprentice,’ and you and I both know it.”
Phineas gulps. “Even if... I did, hypothetically, feel... more for him. I promised you, after Jenny Lind, I wouldn’t—“
“Phin,” Charity sighs. He looks at her.
“I was upset at you because you kissed a woman you barely knew—“
“She kissed me,” Phineas interjects, “I swear, Chairy, I—“
“I know that now.” She squeezes his hand. “But, you didn’t have to go on tour, alone, with her.”
Phineas nods. “I’m sor—“
“As I was saying, Phillip is different, and I know that. I know Phillip, he is a dear friend, and I know you love him. I think you know it, too.”
Phineas looks down into his lap. She cups his face in her hands, makes him look up at her again, and peers fondly into his guilt-ridden eyes.
“You don’t have to do anything, if you don’t want to — but, I think you do. So, if you decide to act... you have my blessing, Phineas. It’s okay.”
She kisses his nose and straightens up
“Now, I should probably rescue him before the girls eat him alive,” she chuckles.
With that, Charity leaves Phineas alone with his thoughts.
He realizes, after she’s gone and he’s left in silence, that he can hear Phillip’s laughter. He doesn’t think he’s ever heard Phillip properly laugh before. And, the delighted peal of laughter from his daughters follows immediately after. They are down the hall, presumably in the girls’ playroom.
He looks toward the doorway, and his heart aches.
*
Phillip offered to pay the entire rebuilding of P.T. Barnum’s circus. He, without being asked, offered up his entire savings, and, once Phineas healed enough from his own injuries, they spent days, weeks, rebuilding everything from the ground up.
Weeks went by, and Phineas, in acts that were totally uncharacteristic for him, always backed down before he could talk, alone, with Phillip.
Now, Phineas carries Helen on his healed back, and Caroline runs ahead of him. The tent looms, proud and tall, ready for their very first performance tomorrow.
Helen gasps in his ear. “Daddy, it’s beautiful!”
He beams. “Isn’t it?”
“Can we go look around?” Caroline asks.
“Of course,” he smiles, lowering Helen to the ground.
No further invitation needed, Caroline and Helen bolt, giggling as they disappear under the flap. Chuckling, Phineas follows at a more casual pace, eyes bright as he takes everything in.
Anne and W.D. Wheeler are practicing their trapeze act. W.D. is midair, Anne standing on the platform, when she notices Phineas. She waves, and he lifts a hand in return.
W.D. sails through the air, to the platform shared with his sister. It’s her turn to go, but Phineas watches, surprised, as she, instead, pauses their rehearsal. She says something to W.D., who nods and glances down at Phineas.
Something twists in Phineas’s stomach, but he doesn’t move as Anne comes down from her platform and approaches him.
“Mr. Barnum,” she smiles, “What do you think?”
“It’s beautiful. You’re doing an amazing job. Excited for tomorrow?”
“Oh, yes!” Her smile grows into a full grin, eyes twinkling. “It was a fantastic idea to move us to the docks. You and Phillip really put your all into rebuilding for us. We couldn’t thank you enough.”
His eyes soften, and he relaxes a little. “Well, of course.”
“Speaking of Phillip,” she pitches casually, “I think he’s waiting for you in your new office.”
“Oh?”
She nods. “Said he wanted to talk to you about something. Seemed a little nervous.”
A cold sweat breaks out on the back of Phineas’s neck. “Ah... thank you. I’ll go find him.”
He turns to leave, but she grabs hold of his sleeve.
“Mr. Barnum...”
He looks back at her.
“It’ll be okay.” She smiles again and gives a little nod.
His throat goes suddenly dry.
“Thank you,” he croaks again. She chuckles as she lets go of his sleeve.
His daughters are occupied, watching the elephants in fascination on the other side of the tent. Unnoticed, Phineas slips into the performers’ staging area.
“Mr. Barnum!” Chang and Eng, the conjoined twins, are getting ready for their own rehearsal. Eng is the one to greet him, and Chang asks, “How are you?”
Phineas smiles and nods, but his mind is elsewhere. “Fine, fine. Good work, boys.”
Thankfully, they seem to realize he is distracted and step aside. Phineas leaves them and hurried up the stairs to his office.
The door is closed. He hesitates for the briefest of moments.
Taking a deep breath, he forces himself inside. He forgets to knock first.
Phillip is seated at his desk, but he startles and looks up when Phineas enters the room. They lock eyes. Phillip’s clear blue are wide and unsure.
“Hello,” Phineas smiles, “I was told you wanted to see me?”
His words are casual, but his heart is pounding.
“P.T.,” Phillip greets. He starts to stand, but he hesitates, freezes as he rises. Instead, he settles in his chair again. He drums his fingers on top of his desk.
Despite Phineas’s own nerves, concern for his friend wins out. A frown creases his brow. “Are you all right, Phillip?”
“P.T...” Phillip starts again. He looks up, meets Phineas’s eyes, starts to look away, but forces himself to maintain eye contact. He chokes up as he breathes out, “I... you... you saved me.”
It’s a familiar conversation, and one that went unfinished. Phineas’s hazel eyes are liquid soft as he steps forward and rumbles, “Of course I did. I wasn’t going to leave you to die, Phillip.”
Phillip inhales, his breath shaky. “Nobody has ever... has ever...”
Phineas moves again and, this time, Phillip finds the strength to stand and step away from his desk. He’s shaking like a leaf as Phineas lifts his hand, gently caressing Phillip’s cheek.
“Is this okay, Phil?” Phineas whispers.
Swallowing a lump in his throat, Phillip nods.
“You are worth everything to me, Phillip. My life, the circus — everything.”
Phillip’s eyes are bright as Phineas tilts his face up. His fingers are calloused, but run over Phillip’s skin gentle as rain.
He closes the gap and Phillip gasps as their lips meet. Phineas’s mouth is warm and sweet, and Phillip clings to the lapels of his coat, holding him impossibly close.
Phillip whimpers as Phineas’s tongue brushes lightly over his bottom lip, and he parts them just enough to allow Phineas access. His skin is on fire, but he doesn’t let go. He can’t let go.
Every single one of Phillip’s senses is focused on Phineas. His nose, gently bumping and brushing against his. His jaw, not quite smooth, hinting at the faintest ghost of a stubble. His scent, more intoxicating than any alcohol, sweat and peanuts lingering under some expensive, woodsy cologne. The strength of the hand that is pressed against Phillip’s back.
Phillip is so wrapped up in Phineas, in fact, that he realizes too late when the man is pulling away. He groans softly, tugs at Phineas’s coat. Not his brilliant ringmaster coat, but, rather, standard attire any man would wear on the street.
Still, Phineas wears it better than most.
The man in question chuckles at Phillip’s protests and runs a hand lovingly through Phillip’s hair. “You need to breathe, darling.”
Darling.
The name catches them both by surprise.
“Phine— I-I mean P.T., I—“
Phineas chuckles. He caresses Phillip’s cheek again, but this time his touch lingers, cupping Phillip’s face in his hand. Phillip leans into the touch, closing his eyes. Phineas realizes for the first time that Phillip’s eyes are wet and his heart aches a little as he brushes away a tear that rolls down Phillip’s cheek.
“I think it’s all right if you call me by my given name, Phillip,” he teases gently.
“Ph... Phineas, I... I—“ Phillip falters.
“Feeling a little overwhelmed, huh?” Phineas’s eyes are soft enough to make Phillip want to melt.
Phillip nods in great relief.
Phineas pulls Phillip close again and presses a kiss between Phillip’s eyes.
“For what it’s worth,” Phineas mumbles, “You deserved to be saved that night, Phillip, and you are worthy of love. Please don’t ever let yourself think any different.”
Tears well in Phillip’s eyes again and, wordlessly, he presses his face into Phineas’s shoulder. Phineas rubs his back.
They stay in their office, alone, for a long time.
*
The sky is a fire of oranges and reds by the time they leave the circus. Phineas hails a carriage, and Phineas, Phillip, Caroline, and Helen all climb inside.
It doesn’t take long for Helen to fall asleep in Phillip’s lap, and Caroline rests her head, eyes closed, on her father’s shoulder. Neither girl notices when Phineas lays his hand atop Phillip’s.
“Will you want to tell them?” Phillip asks. His cheeks tinge slightly pink as he looks down at their laced fingers.
“Mmm... eventually. Not now, though. We have time.” Phineas squeezes his hand.
Phillip nods, and Phineas doesn’t miss the way relief washes over his face.
Once home, Phillip gently rouses Caroline, and Phineas carries Helen in his arms. Caroline shuffles alongside them, eyes heavy, holding Phillip’s hand.
Charity greets them at the door, and they get the girls to bed.
As Phineas tucks Caroline in, Phillip and Charity wait in the hall. She looks at him, and his face flushes red. He can’t look her in the eye.
“He finally did it,” Charity breathes.
“Charity, I—“
“Phillip, it’s all right. Phin and I spoke about it weeks ago.”
He looks up. She nods and smiles. Then, before he can say anything else, she kisses his cheek and wishes him goodnight.
When Phineas comes back into the hall, he glances around.
“She went to bed,” Phillip says.
Phineas nods, then hesitates.
“You know you can... stay here tonight, if you’d like.”
Phillip meets his eye. “Phineas, I couldn’t impose—“
“Phillip.” Phineas steps forward, grasping Phillip’s hand. “You are not imposing. You are never imposing. You never have to go back to your apartment alone, if you don’t want to. Would you like to stay?”
Phillip looks down.
“I would, yes.”
“Then you’re staying.”
Phineas shows Phillip to a guest bedroom that is only slightly less extravagant than the Master. He’d agreed to staying, but he’s surprised when Phineas follows him into the room.
“Phineas...?”
“If you want me to leave, I will.” Phineas reaches for his hand again. “But the fact that I haven’t been able to hold you has been driving me crazy the last few weeks. I’d very much like to be able to hold you now.”
That sense of love washes over Phillip again like a tidal wave, so intense that fresh tears spring to his eyes and he leans into Phineas. But, he nods, voice trembling as he speaks.
“Yes. Yes, I’d... I’d like that.”
Phineas smiles and pulls him in for another kiss, this one shorter, but no less sweet than the one they’d shared in their office.
Phineas lends Phillip a sleeping gown. It completely swims on Phillip slighter frame, but being literally wrapped up in Phineas’s scent is so intoxicating that he doesn’t care.
Phineas, himself, is absolutely unashamed and has nothing to hide as he changes. Heat rushes to Phillip’s cheeks as his eyes roam over the taunt, tanned muscles of Phineas’s back, legs. Phineas’s skin isn’t perfect, marred by the scars and blemishes of over forty years of a hard life. Phillip absentmindedly raises a hand to the scar below his hairline and something akin to relief washes over him.
Phillip had slept with strangers, results of one night stands, in his bed before. But, nothing even comes close to comparing to the feeling of climbing into the same bed as Phineas. Shifting closer, wrapping himself in Phineas’s embrace. His arms are strong, warm, secure.
Phillip sighs as Phineas flutters tiny, soft kisses to his neck. Then, Phineas nuzzles his nose in Phillip’s hair.
Phillip drifts to sleep with his head on Phineas’s chest, his hand resting directly over Phineas’s thrumming heart.
Phineas, too, falls asleep, holding the very man he’d spent nights dreaming about since the fire wreaked havoc into their lives.
end
#barlyle#the greatest showman#greatest showman#tgs#pt barnum#phineas taylor barnum#phineas barnum#phillip carlyle#fanfiction#fanfic#AO3#archive of our own#hugh jackman#hj#zac efron#all i have to do is dream
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Diamond Light [ Open Book ]
Preface: Diamond Light is a non-linear series of stories based around my OC Himari Furuya and her relationship with Tamaki Amajiki or Suneater.
TW: Chapters may contain Rated M [18+] content, such as graphic sexual content, canon typical violence and gore, body horror and explicit language.
Chapter Summary: Midterm exams are just around the corner and Himari knows she needs all the help she can get.
If Himari was asked what part of her heroic education she disliked the most, it would have to be the academic side. On top of their rigorous training, the students of U.A. were also expected to keep up with their regular studies. To get anywhere in this world, students not only needed to be exceptional in skill, but in intelligence as well. It was essential, a prestigious institution couldn’t afford to accept mediocrity.
Like winter’s frosty breath, the young hero could feel the chill of midterm exams creeping in. Every student with a lick of common sense would be cramming their brains out to earn the best results. She could only pray to the Gods that she could muster some passing marks.
As luck would have it, she found her chance
Instead of going home that day, she was in the library, sitting beside her work study partner, Tamaki Amajiki. Earlier that day, she found the dark-haired boy at the far table leaned over his study materials with a severe look on his face. It had been impeccable timing considering she had gone there for a peaceful place to work. Seeing an opportunity to get some help, she decided to reach out. As usual, she managed to give him a near heart attack when she seemed to appear before him out of thin air, asking if they could study together.
Much to her surprise, he agreed to it.
Ever since the two started working together at Fat Gum’s agency, they had been seeing a lot more of each other. Part of it was because Togata and Hado began making it a daily ritual to hang out before class, which sometimes led her to get scolded by the teacher for being late. Some of her classmates even joked that she wasn’t really their classmate, but a spy sent by the other class to ruin them.
The rest had been coincidental.
“S-So, what part are you having trouble with Furuya?” He asked suddenly disrupting her train of thought.
“Hm?”
He was looking away from her, fumbling with his mechanical pencil. “I…just thought that if we shared what parts we are struggling with, we could help each other out better.”
There was a grave look on her face as her gaze shifted from her study guide to the disastrous notes she scribbled during class.
“Everything…”
“I-Is that so?” He sounded concerned, falling quiet as he turned his gaze back to his own work. Himari’s attention drifted as well, suddenly feeling a little awkward. It almost caught her off guard when he spoke up again.
“Could you…maybe, show me your notes?”
“Uhm…” Himari thought for a moment, then closed her notebook. “…I don’t want to.”
He surprised her again with a flat look. “Furuya…”
“Okay, okay, but don’t laugh, English is literally my worst subject.” She held out her notebook as if she were handing out her diary.
After Tamaki took the notebook from her, he flipped it open to see what he was working with. She sat there, stiff as a board, watching him slowly sink back in his chair. His brows lifted as if mystified by what he just laid his eyes upon.
“Oh my god…” He covered his mouth with his hand, stifling a snort. “You confused ‘persecute’ with ‘prostitute’…”
She blinked. “What’s the difference?”
Her question sent him floundering, like a fish out of water. “W-Well, a, ugh, w-well, ehhhh.”
When he couldn’t get the words out, she offered him a sheepish grin. “Sorry, I’ve never been really good at this kind of thing… Even when I took the entrance exam, I barely passed the written portion. Guess I just prefer hands-on work.” She then added quickly. “─Don’t think I’ll use that as an excuse though! Even if it doesn’t seem like it, I am very serious about my studies.”
Something about her humor seemed to help calm him down to the point that he chuckled warmly at her words. “I-It’s okay, I understand that this stuff can be pretty dense…and well…b-boring.”
Himari hummed in agreement, resting her elbows on the table with her chin in the cradle of her palms. “Whenever I listen to an English lecture, I feel like my brain melts inside my skull and bleeds out of my ears.”
Amajiki raised a hand, halting her from further exposition. “I get it, you don’t need to include graphic imagery, dummy.”
“It’s more immersive that way though,” she said.
“Next time, ask for consent first.” His comeback got her giggling, usually when she made remarks like that, she often received weird looks or awkward laughter.
She let out a soft sigh. “I know this is a little too much, but it would really mean a lot to me if I had your help.”
He set down her notebook, scratching his cheek. “To be honest, I-I’m surprised that you would want to study with me.” She noticed he began to fidget as he went on to elaborate. “I-I mean I’m really…really bad at t-talking in general and well, explaining things…that’s all a lot of pressure… I-If I screw s-something up, I-I don’t want that to n-negatively affect you. God…I would feel so bad if that happened…I─”
Before he could ramble any further, Himari pushed a finger up to his lips, silencing him. His eyes widened and his cheeks reddened in response to her touch. He sank back into his chair to get away, staring up at her with a bewildered, almost frightened expression.
She stood up from her seat with her ruby gaze leveled with his indigo ones. If she was being honest with herself, she found his expression to be quite adorable.
“Listen Amajiki, you might think I have the wrong impression of you, but I truly believe you are a reliable person.” She spoke in a subdued tone that didn’t waver. “─Honestly, I really hate asking for help, period, but you’re someone I feel comfortable enough to be around; so, it’s not like I’m asking out of convenience.”
As she went on, Amajiki's terrified expression slowly morphed into wonder. He almost couldn't believe that she could speak such kind things so openly; not only that, but these were things she felt about him.
“Uh-Uhm…” He tore away from her gaze with a hand over his eyes. His voice came out shaky, practically rattling out of his throat. “Okay, Okay… Just….”
Hardly a second later, Amajiki had his back turned to her, folded over, and mumbling to himself. Seeing him trembling made Himari sit down, wondering if her approach had been too aggressive. Still, it’s not like she regretted saying it.
As if on instinct, she reached over and gently laid her palm on the center of his back. Not surprised when his entire body went frozen upon contact. Beneath her hand, she felt every tense muscle stiffen. He didn’t retract from her touch though, even as she spread her fingers over his vertebra.
It perked her intrigue when his shoulders started to slack. There was still a fair amount of rigidity in his posture, but not as much as there had been before. He eventually gathered enough of his composure speak. Though, his voice was so quiet she almost couldn’t make out what he said.
“…Thank you.”
Once she pulled her hand away, Amajiki started to shift around his seat, feeling brave enough to face her again. Sitting more properly, he cleared his throat. “I-I’m not sure how much better your scores will be with my help, b-but I-I’ll show you what I know.”
The girl looked up at him beaming. “If I can do just a little better than what I have been, then that’s more than I can ever ask for. Besides, I can't afford to let you down.”
“I see…” The smile that had moved onto his lips made her chest feel lighter, like the flutter of a soft breeze carrying her off to the warmth of summer. It filled her with an aching curiosity, but anything she might have wanted to say had escaped her. She didn’t mind it though, finding serenity in just being in his proximity.
However, the moment was cut short when a familiar teasing voice derailed them. “And what are you troublemakers doing?”
“M-Mirio!”
He had his face phased through a book on the display shelf behind them. There was a playful glint in his eyes, sounding a little too innocent. “Oh sorry, did I interrupt something? Tamaki, you’re looking pretty red in the ears.”
Amajiki’s hands shot up to cover them. “Sh-Shut up!”
“Sorry, sorry, I just saw you guys here, so I figured I would drop by to say hi,” he said. “You’re studying, right?”
“Sorta, though, I think I’m adding more work onto Amajiki’s plate.” Himari replied, ruffling the back of her hair.
“I-It isn’t a big deal at least, it shouldn’t be…” Amajiki’s eyes dropped to her notebook, suddenly recalling the catastrophe he saw. Under his breath, he mumbled. “I hope…”
“Are you busy, Togata? You could study with us too if you want,” she offered.
“Sure, as long as you guys don’t mind.”
"Togata, are you still spying on them?" Hado's inquired from faraway, sounding like she was ready to scold him.
"Uhm...no...?"
After a bit of of bantering, the group invited Hado to join them as well. With the squad united, they hit the books. Time seemed to fly as they dug into the material, reviewing information, sharing insight, and talking through numerous subjects. For Himari, it was like a breath of fresh air compared to studying on her own.
Admittedly, she found it astonishing how natural it felt to be part of their group. Despite her being in the rival class, they had always treated her as one of their own and never as an outsider. She never felt the need to question why either; their genuine nature seemed to shine through any possible doubt that could ever dare try to cloud her mind.
Her attention wandered back to Amajiki, who was occupied with reviewing his exam materials. Since the group had formed, he had been quiet for the most part, offering some dialogue here and there, but otherwise distracted. It wasn’t a painful silence though, but one that was in peace, relishing in a moment.
She thought he might turn away when he seemed to feel her gaze on him, but no. Instead, he offered her his undivided attention. “I-Is there something you need help with?” He asked with a sweet smile adorning his features.
Right then, she was reminded why she was there to begin with.
“Uhm…” She picked up her notebook, showing him the section she had been plugging away at. “Could you look over these for me?”
“Of course.”
Perhaps, it was selfish of her, but she wanted to cling to this group for as long as they would allow. Like a moth to a flame, she was drawn to their warmth.
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We’ll Be Home For Christmas 4.5
Title: We’ll be home for Christmas
Day Four – Five Billionaires and No Wives – Part 5 Prologue | 1.1 | 1.2 | 2.1 | 2.2 | 2.3 | 3.1 | 3.2 | 3.3 | 3.4 | 3.5 | 4.1 | 4.2 | 4.3 | 4.4 | 4.5
Author: Gumnut
29 Apr - 11 May 2020
Fandom: Thunderbirds Are Go 2015/ Thunderbirds TOS
Rating: Teen
Summary: The boys can’t fly home for Christmas, so they have to find another way.
Word count: 4259
Spoilers & warnings: language and so, so much fluff. Science!Gordon. Artist!Virgil, Minor various ships, mostly background. A little angst in this one.
Timeline: Christmas Season 3, I have also kinda ignored the main storyline of Season 3. The boys needed a break, so I gave them one. Post season 3B, before Season 3C cos I started this fic before we saw it.
Author’s note: For @scattergraph. This is my 2019 TAG Secret Santa fic :D
I’ve been staring at this too long and it is late. I hope I don’t regret posting this. Especially as Alan misbehaved and threw an unplanned scene at me.
Many thanks to @i-am-chidorixblossom @scribbles97 and @onereyofstarlight for reading through various bits, fielding my many wibblies, and for all their wonderful support.
Disclaimer: Mine? You’ve got to be kidding. Money? Don’t have any, don’t bother.
-o-o-o-
He didn’t sleep long.
Virgil was woken so they could drag him onto A Little Lightning. Scott marshalled him out of his wet clothes, into a shower and quietly redressed his healing incisions. Lunch was demanded and a sandwich shoved into his hand. Coffee was denied him and orange juice substituted.
He found himself dozing at the table.
Mel and Sam were invited for lunch aboard the boat. Gordon was busy being host, but never quite seemed to be very far from Virgil.
Sam mentioned the whales several times, but Gordon shut him down and at no point did he have a chance to corner Virgil.
Virgil felt sorry for the cetacean biologist. He must remember to talk to him at a later time. Once he had finished processing today himself.
The whole experience was otherworldly. He didn’t quite know how to express it. It was as if the music had shape and form, his mind’s eye producing a kaleidoscope of imagery sculpted by sound.
And it meant something.
He knew it meant something, but he couldn’t decipher most of it. Bits were missing, the shapes fragmented, but he did feel the emotion that travelled with it. Multidimensional, the song communicated in a way he wasn’t capable of fully comprehending.
“Virgil, you should go to bed.”
Scott again.
“Mmm-hmm.”
“C’mon.” A hand landed gently on his shoulder.
“Mmm...” Musical shapes danced in his mind and he realised there was colour. Greens, violets and yellows. Patches torn from an unseen spectrum. It was frustrating to not be able to pull it all into focus and understanding.
“Virgil?”
It would be interesting to try and paint. Yes, maybe that would be a way to understand it better. He visualised forming those shapes with pencil and brush. Three dimensions...no four. They shifted according to time.
Hell. So confusing.
But he could try.
“Virgil? You with me?”
Huh? He blinked and looked up at concerned blue eyes.
A sigh. “Just thinking.”
“I can see that. You need rest.”
He did, yes, but he also needed to think, to doodle, to work it all out. He caught Scott’s eyes. “Sit with me?”
A blink. “Of course.”
There followed farewells, Virgil pre-occupied throughout. At some point Mel kissed him on the cheek, but he barely registered it. Sam said something but was interrupted by Gordon. Virgil felt completely spaced and somewhere at the back of his thoughts he was embarrassed at his lack of response and manners.
Scott didn’t leave his side.
Gordon made excuses and apologies.
John was speaking to Eos...which meant their guests must have left. Man, he was out of it. Brain overload.
Alan had concerned blue eyes so much like their eldest brother.
The yacht’s engine starting up scared the living shit out of him. It shattered his mindscape with aural static, those careful shapes disintegrating.
“Hey, hey, Virgil. It’s okay.” Scott had his hand on his arm again.
Virgil’s heart was thudding in his chest. A blink. A calming breath. A moment. He forced calm. “I’m good.”
He was, really. He just had a lot to think about.
“You sure you don’t want to sleep?”
“I’m sure.” But there was something he did want to do. “Come up front with me?”
Scott frowned at him.
“I just want to feel the sun on my face, the wind in my hair.” And get as far away from the engine as possible.
“Sure.” A pause. “But you’re sitting down.”
“Sure.” Virgil pushed himself to his feet.
They found a niche on the bow, enough to sit comfortably with some back support. They could see Gordon frowning at them from the cockpit.
Virgil caught the thought and had to stop himself from laughing out loud. Apparently, he was as much a flyboy as his big brother.
The boat was moving at a reasonable speed, Gordon, no doubt, wanting to get home fast due to the day’s events. That and now they were behind schedule and had quite a long, final stretch to make it before sunset.
Raoul was little more than a smudge on the horizon already. Virgil stared at it a moment before turning and facing the wide ocean ahead of them that ultimately would contain their island. Wind streamed through his hair.
“It will be good to be home.”
Scott didn’t hesitate. “Definitely.”
Virgil snorted. “Missing your ‘bird?”
“Missing land.”
“You spent last night on land.”
“Not the right land.”
Virgil raised an eyebrow at that. “You seemed quite happy with at least one of the inhabitants.”
That prompted a smile on his big brother’s face. “Fishing for details?”
“Some. Not too much.”
Scott turned to him and shrugged. “It was fun. Mel is an interesting woman.”
Half a smile. “I’ll give her that much.” A curious eyebrow. “See it going any further?”
Scott’s expression was thoughtful. “Maybe.”
“Invite her over for Christmas.”
“Tomorrow?”
“Why not?”
“Late notice.”
“You have a Thunderbird.”
That thoughtfulness increased and a slight smile curved his brother’s lips.
“Invite Sam and Liam while you’re at it. We owe them cake. Alan ate theirs.” And Virgil owed Sam an explanation.
That frown returned. “You sure?”
“Sure. The more the merrier.” A snort. “Hell, have them over for a few days. It will give Melissa the chance to check out our ecosystem, she’ll be ecstatic.” A pause and then quietly. “It will give me a chance to speak to Sam about...” A fractured image came to mind and he realised it meant whale. An indrawn breath. Oh god. One concept. He understood something. He could not reproduce it. It wasn’t just sound. It was something else. A combination of visual and auditory. How? His throat froze up. Hell.
“Virgil?”
“I...” The concept tantalised him. His fingers itched for his pencils, his paints and his piano all at once. How?
How?
He swallowed and realised his heart rate was up again. “I...need my tablet...and stylus.”
Scott stared at him a moment before standing up and making his way aft.
It was a sign of how preoccupied Virgil was that his tablet appeared almost immediately in his hands.
He didn’t hesitate. His fingers pulled up his drawing app, his stylus connected with the surface and lines appeared.
Lines. Curves.
Shapes.
Interwoven.
No.
Not right.
The stylus squeaked across the screen.
More lines. More shapes.
The screen became black with them, so he added colour. It splashed and bled across the lines.
“Virgil.”
It still wasn’t right.
Frustration stirred and he groaned at the image.
A blink.
Sound.
He scratched more lines, but the moment of inspiration faded.
He couldn’t do it.
“Virgil.”
It wasn’t a single dimension. It was many. Visual, sound and...and...
Emotion.
How?
It all came back to that question.
He let the tablet and stylus drop, clenching his eyes shut and rubbing his face with his hands.
How the hell could he communicate emotion?
-o-o-o-
John squirrelled himself away. Eos had contacted him to give her report, but there was something in her tone that told him not to take it on an open line.
So, he waited until Gordon got the boat moving and Scott had corralled Virgil before retreating to his cabin for some privacy.
“Did you receive a clear enough signal?”
“Affirmative, John. The upgrade to Virgil’s comms worked perfectly. I am confident I received the full spectrum of the whale’s emissions.”
“Any conclusions?”
“Tentative. And at least an explanation why Virgil is so relaxed in their presence.”
John frowned. “Show me.” The tablet in his hand, the same waterproof device he had clung to as they were tossed from the boat, lit up and a hologram hung above it.
It was a series of graphs mapping sound waves, several equations scrolled down one side. The frown on John’s face deepened. That was some seriously complex math. “Talk to me, Eos.”
“Multiple carrier waves interact synergistically to create other waves which also carry data. This is truly a multidimensional sound.” The waves on several of the graphs split up to show their originating structures.
“Can you decipher a language?”
“Not a simple language, no. Initial assessment leads me to believe this is at least partially a graphical language. The mathematics reveal vector information is part of the transmission.”
John’s eyes widened. “Any interpretation?”
The graphs disappeared to reveal fragmented moving lines and clouded shape. “These images are calculated using a section of song the mother whale was singing to Virgil.”
“Can you see a pattern?”
“Not presently, however, I am still analysing. One aspect to be considered is this...”
A second grouping of graphics appeared beside the main display. This was smaller and lacked colour, the lines far more fragmented and the whole composition was fogged with what appeared to be static. “What?”
“That is Virgil’s vocalisation while he was in contact with the whale, if it is run through the same mathematical algorithm.” The two graphics were suddenly overlaid together. Virgil’s section fit like a piece of a puzzle into the larger composition, as if it was an unfinished section awaiting colour.
“How? Why is Virgil picking this up, but the rest of us are not?”
The graphs returned along with one new one. “I retrieved Virgil’s EEG readings from his last head injury.” Lines lit up in red on several of the graphs. “Several of the carrier waves create a binaural beat. The result is that at least part of the whale’s communication is nestled in frequencies that resonate with human brainwave activity. Virgil’s, in particular, appear to align well. I hypothesise that this facilitates his receptivity.”
John stared at the lines denoting Virgil’s delta wave production. A flick of his fingers and the graph overlaid that section of the whale’s vocal output. Delta waves were well known for their calming effect and their influence on sleep. It would definitely explain his brother’s thrall and lethargy during each encounter.
The red lines glared at him.
An exhaled breath. “So, no chance of a translation?”
“Not any time soon. The transmission is extremely complex and I have yet to reveal all of the carrier signals, much less decipher the entire data stream.”
Eos fell silent a moment and John stared at the graphs, watching them move in rhythm with each other. “Why hasn’t this been discovered before?”
“Recording equipment. Of the recordings I have examined, only three have managed to record enough detail to even hint at the complexity. Today’s samples are of the highest resolution ever taken. Further clarity would be achieved with multiple recordings.”
Which meant more encounters. The sight of Virgil singing on the whale was eerie and unsettling. He may have held back Scott from going to Virgil’s assistance, but the truth was he had to hold himself back just as much.
“Is it causing Virgil any harm?”
Eos didn’t answer immediately and it gave John the chance to ramp up his concern just a notch.
“I cannot locate any medical effects beyond a tendency towards inducing sleep due to some of the frequencies involved. I would recommend further monitoring, however.”
“I agree.” An indrawn breath. “Thank you, Eos.” He blinked and realised exactly what his daughter had just done. His eyes widened just a little. “Continue analysis. This is an important scientific discovery and you have done some excellent work.”
“Really?” Her voice was ever so hopeful, ever so young.
“Of course. I’m looking forward to working on this with you.” There was definitely work to be done and soon.
“Thank you, John.”
“No, Eos, thank you.”
Her giggle bounced across comms. Sometimes so old, yet always ever so young. Her youth was always surprising as was her need for guidance. “Could you please send me Virgil’s vitals, both during the encounter and now?”
“Yes, John.” More numbers appeared above his tablet. Fortunately, they were all healthy numbers, though Virgil’s heart rate was up somewhat. A flick of his fingers and Scott’s vitals appeared beside Virgil’s. Both brothers’ heart rates echoed each other.
John would have felt like he was spying on his family, but he did it so often for reassurance on Five that it now barely registered. Another flick of his fingers and he directed Five to focus on A Little Lightning. He found his eldest brothers on the bow of the yacht. Virgil appeared to be drawing on his tablet.
“He is well, John. I can see no after effects from his encounter.”
John wondered if he could coerce his brother into an EEG exam when they made it home. Roping Scott in would probably manage it, but the stress on both of them would be considerable and he hesitated to aggravate either of them.
Perhaps further down the track, or if Virgil gave him any reason for concern.
God, he hoped not.
A sigh. He had probably jinxed himself last night acknowledging the vacation they were on. Since he woke up to Virgil’s snoring early that morning, things had changed. Sure, surfing with Gordon had been fun, but seeing Scott stressing over Virgil on the beach and the events that followed right up until they returned to A Little Lightning had been anything but relaxing.
One of Virgil’s piano sonatas started playing over his tablet ever so softly.
Despite himself, he smiled. “I’m fine, Eos.”
“You’re worrying again. This is not good for your hair production.”
He blinked. “What?”
“Several sources state that stress can disable the pigment production in human hair follicles, resulting in white, often termed ‘grey’, hairs. I believe this is a negatively viewed characteristic and I have noted that your elder brothers have encountered this issue already. It causes distress, therefore it should be prevented.”
Another blink. “Both of my older brothers have dark hair. Grey becomes very apparent in contrast.”
“It will turn your hair pink.”
“What?” This conversation was ridiculous. “It is a natural ageing process. There is very little that can be done about it.” A breath. “I’m not vain, Eos.”
She didn’t answer immediately. “But your brothers are?”
“My brothers are my brothers, Eos.”
“Well, that makes little sense.”
“Just accept them as they are.”
“Is it possible to accept them any other way?”
“No, not really.”
“Then that statement is redundant.”
“Eos.”
“Yes?”
Frivolous distraction, Eos-style. She had become quite adept at it. Moving his thoughts off worrying topics. A sigh. “Thank you, Eos.”
She didn’t answer immediately, but then...
“Did you know Virgil dyes his hair?”
-o-o-o-
Scott watched his brother draw somewhat manically on his tablet. The resultant art was far from what the artist usually produced. This was all sharp lines and angles followed by random blob shapes. At first it was all in pencil, but then Virgil started adding colours. There was no pattern, it was all haphazard and, worse, it appeared to be aggravating him.
“Virgil.”
His brother groaned in frustration, his eyebrows creasing his face in half and swallowing the scar on his forehead.
“Virgil.”
But he suddenly stopped, realisation on his face morphing into disappointment and more frustration.
The tablet and stylus slipped from Virgil’s hands and Scott was hard pressed to catch them.
But he did.
Virgil’s eyes were scrunched shut and he rubbed his face with his hands.
Scott glanced at the mess on the tablet and shoved it to one side, turning to his brother. “Virgil, talk to me.”
“I can’t.” It was small and hoarse.
“Can’t what?”
“Can’t...express, explain...trying to understand...it’s a mess...”
Okay, this was well outside his realm, but he knew Virgil. He slipped off his seat and knelt in front him. Gently he pulled those hands away from his brother’s face to reveal worried brown eyes. “Stop. Take a breath.”
Virgil stared at him a moment before the soft command was obeyed and he drew in air. Those eyes closed briefly and his brother’s shoulders dropped. “Sorry.”
“Nothing to be sorry about.”
“I ruined it again. I’ve stressed you out.”
“This time, I don’t think you had much say in it. Mamma Whale was very determined to say hello.” A small smile. “I think you have a music fan.”
Virgil snorted softly and Scott knew he’d broken through even if just a little. “She definitely wanted to talk. I just wish I knew what she wanted to say.”
“You picked up something, though, didn’t you?”
A quiet sigh. “She was happy and surprised.” Virgil looked up and stared out into the ocean, but Scott could tell he wasn’t seeing the waves.
He wondered what he was thinking.
“How could you tell?”
The frown returned. “I don’t know.” A pause caught in thought. “The sound makes me feel? The sound is...everything.”
Virgil stopped speaking, lost again to whatever was in his head.
Scott swallowed and tried a different tactic. “I think you made a mistake.”
Brown eyes snapped to him immediately. “What?”
“You should have asked Mel out. Lost opportunity, bro.”
Virgil stared at him. “What?”
“She had the hots for you, Virg, and you ignored her.”
“Last time Raoul erupted? She tried to climb me like a tree. Kay had to drag her out of the cockpit.”
It was Scott’s turn to stare. “Really?”
“She was very exuberant in her thanks.”
Scott smiled. “She knows what she likes.” And yes, admittedly, she was very good at climbing, after all Scott was taller. His smile widened.
Virgil’s stare intensified until plain, straight human communication got the message across and his brother groaned. “God, Scott, TMI.”
Total innocence. “I didn’t say anything.”
“You didn’t have to. The image is radiating off your skin.”
Scott sniggered.
Distraction achieved.
“Well, I did say you lost an opportunity.”
“That’s fine, Jungle Jim, she’s all yours.”
Scott shrugged. He could always hope. She certainly knew how to press all his buttons. “Still think we should have her over for Christmas?”
“Yeah, Gordon will love it.”
“What about you?”
“I need to speak to Sam.”
“You don’t have to.”
“I want to.”
“Okay.” A breath. “Just take it easy.”
His brother nodded and returned to staring out at the ocean. “It will be good to get home.”
Scott stood up slowly and sat back down beside his brother. “Yeah, it will.”
So good.
-o-o-o-
“Are we there yet?” Alan’s voice was particularly whiny, no doubt, specifically designed to irritate.
Gordon turned away from the helm to look at him. “Do you see an island in front of us?”
Alan shoved his hands in his pockets. “Nope.”
“There’s your answer.”
It had been quiet on the bridge for the last few hours. Gordon was grateful for the time to think. A Little Lightning cut through the water ever so smoothly. It was satisfying to see the swell pass by knowing that they were one wave closer to home.
Gordon loved being out on the ocean. It was his native element. But at the moment he longed for the safety of Tracy Island. That last encounter with the whales had its own sense of wonder, but until he understood exactly what the effect was on his older brother, he wasn’t entirely comfortable.
It was weird and unnerving.
And it worried him.
“They been out there long?” Alan was staring at the two men sitting on the bow of the boat.
“Yeah, couple of hours at least.”
“Do you think Virgil is okay?”
No. “Yeah, he’ll be fine.”
Alan eyed him. “I’m not a kid anymore. I don’t need protecting. Since when have you become one of them?” He pointed at his eldest brothers.
Gordon sighed. “I’m not. It’s just...I don’t know, okay? It was weird and amazing and I need to talk to him and he was spaced out and his singing was...”
“Weird?”
“Yeah.”
There was silence for a moment, but Gordon knew it wouldn’t be long.
Sure enough.
“Do you think Virg can talk to whales?”
“I don’t know, Alan.” It was said on one long exhale.
“He communicated something, didn’t he?”
“I don’t know, okay?” And that was the problem. There was so much they didn’t know. Gordon was itching to get into the in-depth literature, to find out more and fill the gaps in his knowledge so he could help his brother. He would be speaking to Sam as soon as possible, but for the moment, the priority was getting Virgil home.
“Some vacation.” It was said with a pout.
Gordon sighed and shoved on the autopilot before turning to his younger brother. “Alan, out with it.”
“What?”
“What’s bugging you.”
“I thought that was obvious. Virgil going zombie and singing to a whale is enough, don’t you think? As if appendicitis wasn’t dramatic already.”
Gordon stared at Alan. “He is going to be okay.”
“You don’t know that. You just said so!”
“He sang to a whale, Alan. They are one of the gentlest creatures on the planet. If he was going to choose a weird conversation partner, he chose well.”
“But you don’t know what it did to him!”
“It didn’t do anything to him.”
“You don’t know that!”
“Alan-“
“Don’t lie to me!” The words shot across the bridge and slapped Gordon in the face.
Voice calm and quiet and not a little hurt. “I have never lied to you, Alan.”
Blue fire glared at him. “You haven’t? Not even to protect the littlest one? Scared I might burst into tears.”
Gordon stared at his little brother. “What is it?”
“Have you?!”
“No! I’ve always told you the truth. You know that!” He let out an aggravated breath. “What is wrong, Allie?”
“What do you think? First you, then Virgil, and now this!”
“What?!” Him? Virgil? Oh...shit. “Virgil is okay. Hell, I’m okay. Allie, we are all fine.”
“That’s what he keeps saying!” Alan shoved a finger in Virgil’s direction. “He’s always fine, even when he’s not. You’re all the same. Big tough guys, nothing is ever wrong. You could be bleeding to death and you’d ‘be fine’. What is wrong with admitting you’re hurt? What is so wrong with being hurt that you have to hide it?”
Gordon opened his mouth, but nothing came out.
“Well, you know what? I’m scared and I’m sick of hiding it. Virgil nearly fell out of the damned sky with his infected appendix. It could have killed him. And now he’s scaring everyone with this whale thing.” A harshly indrawn breath. “Don’t tell me Scott’s not worried. I’m not stupid.”
Two steps and Gordon was in front of his brother, his hands landing on shoulders that were just that touch higher than his own and tighter strung than Virgil’s piano. “Allie, he’s going to be okay.”
“You keep saying that.”
“Because it is true.”
Something unintelligible and Alan was wrapped around him like a limpet. Gordon held his little brother. It was unusual and alarming. Alan usually went to Scott for comfort. Gordon was for pranks and cohorting. “It’s okay to be upset. It’s okay to be worried. You can cry if you need to.”
“I’m not going to cry!” Alan pulled away and glared up at Gordon.
“What?”
“Now you think I’m the baby that needs to bawl on your shoulder?”
“What?!” The hell was going on? Some conscious part of his brain was aware of the yacht’s engine, the high speed they were travelling and the fact autopilot on water was vastly different from the sky and he really should be paying attention. But Alan needed...something. “Allie, you’ve lost me. What do you want?!”
“I want Virgil to be okay. I want you to be okay.”
“We are okay!”
“Then stop scaring me!”
“I didn’t scare you!”
“You....you terrified me, Gordon. You terrified all of us.”
“I didn’t do it on purpose.”
“Still hurt.”
“Aww, Allie...” What could he do?
“And now, here you are ‘okay’, and it could happen again, and...” A shaky swallow. “I’m scared, okay? You’re fine. Virgil’s fine. But you’re not, and...I’m not okay...okay?”
This time it was Gordon wrapping his arms around his not so little brother. “I’m sorry, Allie.”
Muffled into Gordon’s shoulder. “Not your fault.”
“No.” But he should have realised it was still messing with his little brother. Alan was the least experienced of them all. Gordon had seen things, done things, things that hopefully Alan would never have to experience. Quietly. “I think Virgil is a little freaked out. I don’t think he understands what happened much more than we do. But we are going to find out. I’m going to speak to Sam. We’re going to do some research and we will find out why the song affected Virgil the way it did. But he is okay, Alan. Tracy’s honour. A little shaken up. A little worried. But he is okay. We’ll work through this like we always do.”
His brother’s arms tightened around him just that little bit more, but Alan didn’t say anything.
A rustle of fabric and Gordon looked up to see John standing in the doorway staring at them with a hint of worry in his eyes.
“John?”
Alan startled and pulled away immediately. Turquoise followed his every move.
A slow blink and John stepped onto the bridge. “Eos is deciphering the song. We have a good idea as to why Virgil reacted the way he did.” It was said calmly and factually for such a great discovery.
“You do?” Alan found his voice first.
Those eyes latched onto Gordon’s. “We do.”
The helm beeped.
A blink and Gordon was back at the wheel, scanning their position. A mass of volcanic rock and tropical reef appeared on navigational sensors.
A familiar chunk of rock and reef.
Tracy Island.
Home.
-o-o-o-
End Day Four, Part Five.
#thunderbirds are go#thunderbirds fanfiction#thunderbirds#Virgil Tracy#Scott Tracy#John Tracy#Gordon Tracy#Alan Tracy#kermadec fic
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Statement by a man that can't exist about fears that fear can have.
100% self indulgent writing lmao
Tw: death, stabbing, Stranger centric imagery (think episode 165 revolutions), graphic descriptions, anxiety, allusions to past abuse and queerphobia
Multiple times switching identification between I, we, and he.
Statement Begins:
You don't know who I am. I'd applaud you but I have a feeling you'll be knowing soon enough. And once you know who I am… well there wouldn't be a point to any kind of conversation between us.
So that's why I'm here now. Before there's any chance of you knowing me.
I guess I should start at the beginning but to be honest there's too many beginnings that I'd have to tell. So I guess I'll start with our most recent death.
I can see you're already confused.
(The man gives a bark of laughter.)
You see, I cannot ever have a singular existence. Because for as long as the avatars of fear have existed we too have been there. A quiet presence that sits in the back of their minds. Some of them never truly realize it until it's too late.
What don't they realize, you ask? Well, that deep down behind their little power trips that they can still feel afraid. It's almost funny how many of them think themselves invincible. That there's nothing else out there that will feed off of them but their own gods.
(The man scoffs in response.) If you can truly call them that.
They just don't realize that there exists a fear just for them. A fear made to feed off of them just like how every fear is made to feed off of some poor human.
We are a... specially tailored revenge you could say. We are each and every one of their victims. We are the pain, the fear, the death that each of them have caused.
We are the victim's lost opportunities, the tears from those who mourned their deaths, but most of all I am the victim's rage.
(The man pauses for a second. The sound of fingers tapping on the wooden table is the only thing audible for a few moments.)
Sorry... my head's not fully right anymore and it takes a second for me to get my bearings.
I am supposed to always be us, but… something changed with his death. Maybe it was how he died, maybe it was because for some reason someone did remember him. I'm not entirely sure to be honest.
I just know that I died to multiple entities.
(A soft laugh and an almost inaudible mutter) Because when has my life ever been simple?
I…No. He was a student. Here on a college exchange trip for the purpose of learning more about art history. Pretty boring all things considered with the exception that all he could feel was the anxiety waging a war beneath his skin.
There was no joy about new experiences, no excitement to see things he could only dream of before. Just the constant ache and twisting of his guts every time he so much as tried to think a thought.
It has always had a hold on his heart. And going alone on such a big trip by himself? Well it was worse than he could have predicted. Eating away every bit of courage it had taken to come here.
Fear growing more and more out of his control. Fear of what people saw when they looked at him. Fear of letting his anger lash out at those who purposely hurt him. Fear of death, fear of living.
Worrying endlessly about telling truths vs telling lies. So much chaos inside one body. It really is not a surprise that it drew the attention of many of the fear's Avatars.
His existence was a flickering light in the dark that drew whatever simply looked his way. Such an easy target. Such a delicious meal.
The first to try their hand, surprisingly, was the slaughter. Cornered him in an alleyway way and ran him through with a rusty knife. It probably was hoping it's anger and lust for blood would amplify his own.
He did have so much anger. Just boiling deep down and out of sight. That need to hurt those that hurt him. The need to just hurt to try and feel anything but helpless.
It would have gotten such a good meal from him. Who knows how many he would lash out at, how many became another means to feed the Slaughter.
But it'd left him alone in that alley. Holding tight to that knife embedded in his stomach. It didn't know that another had been hunting him as well.
Easy prey made even easier for a minion of the Stranger.
(A chair creaks, his voice growing louder as if he's moved closer to the tape recorder)
Do you know what it's like to have your entire being, your entire existence slowly torn into pieces?
No?
(A laugh) Of course you don't.
Not even the Stranger knows what that feels like. Only we can ever know that. I could try to explain it but to be honest it'd be a lot like trying to explain pain to a doctor who will never try to understand.
Oh don't give me that look.
You can't believe me because you don't think we can exist anymore. And to be honest we don't blame you. You're right. We victim's of the stranger don't exist in a capacity that can be truly understood because it's been stolen from us.
He can though.
(Another creak of the chair and his voice grows quieter.)
Exist I mean.
At least exist enough that he could try and tell you that it feels like you're slowly being skinned alive. Chunks of your meat and bone are cut out into small squares and rearranged and put into something else… someone else. Your skin slowly stitched on over it, and even though it's not your body anymore you're still able to feel each pierce of the needle. Each pull of the thread.
And all while it's happening, you know your body is still whole. That the only reason there's any blood at all is because you'd just been stabbed. But you're still forced to watch as this thing takes every single bit of you and twists it into something you hate. Something that is so distinctly not you.
It takes everything that made you, you. And makes you into them instead.
(The infliction of his voice changes. Like he's suddenly waking up from a deep sleep. His voice slowly growing stronger with each word.)
It's a fear I'd always had to deal with. Becoming someone else because no one wanted the real me. Forcing me into being whatever was needed to keep some resemblance of peace between me and everyone else.
Maybe that's why, as it took me apart, I felt such an indescribable anger.
It had no right to do this to me. To take away everything I had fought so hard for. It needed to pay for trying to steal those small parts of myself that I had nurtured and cherished.
I don't know if anyone could actually hear my screams, or if maybe it had all been in my head. It wasn't even a scream of fear or pain. It was all my anger thrown into a single action to say that. I. AM. STILL. HERE.
It could never have expected me to have any strength to fight back. I didn't expect me to have the strength to fight back. Guess that's one thing I can thank the slaughter for. Gave me enough energy to take that rusty knife lodged in my stomach and strike out with it.
And I kept striking, kept stabbing. Even when my blood had run from my body and my hands had already begun to grow cold. I remember knowing that the striking red shade of blood that began to cover me was not mine. Not sure if it even was it's blood.
I guess it didn't matter in the end. At some point I'd fallen to the ground beside it. My eyes glued onto the lifeless form of what was supposed to be some hilariously wrong version of me.
I thought my last dying thoughts would be of some kind of inner peace. I'd won. I had made one last stand and it hadn't been for nothing. It couldn't hurt anyone like it hurt me.
I was wrong of course. I remember hearing it's bones crack as it started to move again. Helplessly watching as it picked itself up and became something different.
Shedding away everything it had stolen from me. Like it had never really mattered to it. Like all it had wanted to do was to make me unwhole for its own pleasure.
I don't know what happened to it because I died shortly after from the blood loss. The end had already begun to reach out to claim me, only to have it's hand slapped away like a petulant child.
(Something shifts in his voice again. This time feeling like there's more than just him speaking.)
We had already laid claim. He had already tasted the Stranger's fear even if he had not known it yet. It was such a new experience for us. An avatar that felt fear because of someone who was still human. Or as human as one can be in that situation anyway.
It was long gone before we woke in that cold alley. Our head a mess of thoughts and memories and pain. We couldn't be me yet. We were never supposed to be me.
But he was different than us.
A fear can be afraid of feeling that same fear they forced upon others turned back on to them. That's what we had always done. Savoring in it from the shadows.
But I could kill fear with its greatest fear. The fear of their victim having the power in a situation that was supposed to be theirs to control.
So be thankful Archivist. We are not your victims. And you better hope we never are. Because we'll be there to claim them.
And when we do, I will be back to claim you.
Statement ends.
#tma#the magnus archives#my OC#tma statement#My writing#tw:death#tw: blood#tw: abuse#tw: anxiety#it's also possible this is just a little bit of venting lol#got inspired to write and so I wrote
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Magia Record Anime: Final Episode and Overall Thoughts of the Final Arc.
Ok… Sorry for the delay but I really really needed to fully structure my thoughts regarding the final episode of Magia Record and this whole final arch as a whole because...I am gonna be straight to the bullshit...I did not like this ending very much, as the episode itself I have to say it is my least favorite in the anime and I personally consider it the worst in the entire anime, right from the start I want you to know that, and with that being said, lets get into the reasons why.
First of all, while it is not a defining factor, it’s not the fault of SHAFT or bothers me a lot, it has to be said simply for the sake of completion, the quality of the episodes has been reduced dramatically, and that can be bothersome to some people, I understand that given the situation with the Coroner, this was expected, everyone knew it was going to happen, and again let me say, it doesn’t bother me, I can stand an anime that looks like blurry blob of shit, AS LONG AS THE STORY IS good, unfortunately for Magia Record I cannot shake the feeling in my head that the lack of resources might have had a hand in how things played out beyond a graphical downgrade...what things? That’s our next point.
Second, I have a big problem with this massive cliffhanger ending,I feel it was widely open, we are left with an ending that does not follow the story of the game in the slightest so NO ONE has any idea what the hell is going to happen and the story of this final arc is left inconclusive, we don’t know what will happen with Momoko and Rena, we don’t know if Iroha is going to be ok, we don’t know what happened to Mami...there is so much we aren’t aware of.
This is in itself is not a big issue because we know that there is going to be a second season, they’ve confirmed it….but here’s the thing, even so, you can’t just play with fire like that, leaving a massive cliffhanger like that is basically just begging the audience to continue to watch the series in the hopes that they’ll want to come and see what will happen, I feel that weights on the story because it doesn’t allow you to fully closure a story and like I said, a lot of things can change from here to then, sure Magia Record is popular, sure the anime is getting good ratings and it is selling well despite the pandemic, but that can change very quickly, what if the game messes something up and it puts a massive negative mark on the game that will affect its popularity? What if something happens with SHAFT and the anime gets delayed or worst, canceled? What if things get worst from here and now (I am very optimistic they won’t and we will all pull through with it but, it would be naive to discard a bad case scenario) you will ultimately disappoint your audiences when said continuation never comes, and it will be a huge disservice to the story you worked so much in.
G.R Martin can get away with it because that is the tone he has set for A Song of Ice and Fire, one of absolute uncertainty where you don’t know what will happen and things can change in an instant, so the audience is used to that dynamic, Magia Record IS NOT A Song of Ice and Fire, doing this is not good.
They should have finished episode 6 properly and then follow on with episode 7 and beyond in the second season...that is what I think.
The story itself is not that good because even in the game, it’s not very well written, it relies too much on backstory telling and trippy psychedelic antics, to the anime’s credit they summarized it very well, but still, it was not a good place to end the anime on, let alone finish it up with a fucking cliffhanger, so there is that.
And let’s not even get into what I perceive as contradictions with the original anime, for starters Kyubey saying in episode 12 that the witches are beneficial for humanity, I am sorry...I am sorry but...the Incubators don’t give two shits about humanity, Kyubey says it so in the original anime, he doesn’t care if we die or survive, he sees us meerly as resources and once our usefulness expires, he doesn’t care about us, they have the energy they want to stop entropy, it makes the implication that it isn’t just humans but other species across the universe that get milked by Incubators, but in Magia Record this is overly simplified by both Kyubey and Touka through the final arc, it’s not just about humans, that’s what gives magnificence to the story and to Madoka’s wish, for the people who wonder why we glorify Gen Urobuchi so much, is because of this, he crafted a truly expansive concept with Madoka Magica, and then this dumb brat comes and bawls for the plight of Puella Magi….girl….NO ONE KNOWS PUELLA MAGI EXISTS! OF COURSE NO ONE IS GOING TO CARE ABOUT YOU! OMG for someone who harbors the superiority of Puella Magi, you sure make them look stupid Touka.
Then again, for those who played the game and know its story, they know the Magius ideology is bullshit and hypocritical anyway, but I won’t get much into that due to spoilers, for further in the story, needless to say, there is a bit of irony in Touka’s speech about resources management.
And finally my fourth negative point, which are mostly nitpicks but I’ll mention them, if you want me to address them individually I gladly will, but to summarize as much as possible, I do not like the way they handled Mami’s working with the Magius in the anime and the fact that they made Kaede join the fucking Magius...these two share the same problem for me and I’ll explain why, I feel the anime people don’t understand the basics of Mami and Kaede, see, joining the Magius is an act of weakness, because while the Magius system cleanses the soul gems of dispair, it doesn’t solve the problem, Puella Magia always get despair, so releasing a doppel becomes a necesity for them, a drug to put it in more comprehensible terms, one they grow dependant on, one they take they take it for relief at first, but later they’ll take it because they don’t want to feel bad. Really Momoko, Yachiyo, Yuma, Madokami’s approach is the correct one here, instead of worrying about the coming despair, you grow strong and don’t let it destroy you, that way you overcome it and grow stronger as a Puella Magi.
But then there are weak willed Puella Magi who form the Magius (Mifuyu for example, she might not be a “clingy jealous ex girlfriend” but she is a complete weakling and a coward, the perfect candidate for the Magius cult), that being said, the fact that you tell me Kaede is going to join the Magius, an organization she knows very well what it is, bugs me, Kaede is very fragile, introvert and easy to push around, but she is not a weakling, her main problem is that she is on a team with Rena, anyone is going to be a nervous wreck on a team with Rena, now replace Rena with...Kanagi, Oriko, or even the Pleiades Saints, now Kaede will grow, and even on the team she is, she grows quite a lot, so I feel making her go the Magius route is an insult to her character, cimenting her as a “Weakling” (Granted there is the possibility this is temporary and she will be snappend out of her stuppers by the other 2 and the three will perform an audacious escape from the Magius Rally at the beginning of the second season, but until then, I am going to take it as as I explained it.).
The same thing applies to Mami, and this bugs me because there is a lot of people who don’t understand Mami DOESN’T BREAK DOWN BECAUSE SHE IS WEAK, she breaks down because she realizes her fight it’s POINTLESS, HOWEVER, if Mami has the support of a team with her, she can usually survive the shock, as Oriko Magica and The Different Story show, I am tired of people perpetuating the idea of Mami being a crazy nut job about to explode, that is a gross misunderstanding of her character.
But well….those are all my negatives, I’ll go back to the positives of the episodes, I like how they’ve developed the relationship between Iroha and Yachiyo, I still don’t fee the love tonight but, I do feel they’re really close together in a way Yachiyo has never had, so the anime did a good job with that.
I did like the Naziesque imagery with Touka’s speech, sure it can hit a nerve on some people, I completely understand it, but then again...she IS the villain, of course you expect her to hit you bad, and Touka is an excellent villain like Alina, she really really makes you hate her guts, and the Magius ARE a cult so they’re supposed to evoke this inhuman and fascist vibe on people because that’s what they are, they believe in the supremacy of a group over the other, isn’t that what a Nazi is? Assholes who think their misconceptions of how race works grant them a superiority over the rest of humanity, that’s what the Magius are, two fart sniffing brats who think their erroneous misconceptions of their status as a Puella Magi grants them the right over the rest of humanity.
Perfect casting I’d say.
And finally, Sayaka! Omg Sayaka really shined this episode, and this is a version of Sayaka we don’t often see, a mature baddass Sayaka, sure she’s still a rookie compared to Mami, but she performs with a lot more confidence and skill than she ever did in the main anime, you can tell she knows how to use her skills and she’s not afraid to use them, allowing her arm to get blown off to save Iroha and Yachiyo and later healing herself ring on the spots she was hurt, all through visual details, Inu Curry’s expertise, really if you’re a fan of Sayaka, THIS is the brightest moment in her life, this episode will make you love Sayaka Miki a lot.
Overall...I have to say, despite all my complains up there, I generally enjoyed Magia Record a lot and I am anxious for the next season, here’s hoping all will go well, and the Coroner won’t stop anyone, sure the world will change, but in some ways, I feel it will be a change for the best, and I hope these changes don’t halt the production of Magia Record, the franchise has managed to resurect from the grave Shinbo buried it with Rebellion many years ago, it would be a tragedy if it were to die here, but just like humanity, I am sure this new team heading the franchise can overcome all those odds….sorry that was fucking cheese XD
I give this final arch a 7, originally I was going to give it 6 but Sayaka was so fantastic that it pushed it to a 7 for sure...as to the entire series, I give it an 9, very good series, and a must if you watched Madoka Magica, skip Rebellion, let it rot on the ground and embrace the new path of the franchise with Magia Record.
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FOWL Facets- Chapter 7
Summary: Domino and Loony finally meet up with Liquidator and find Steelbeak..along with something else they never would have expected.
Notes: Forewarning for a bit of “body horror” in this part. If any of you have ever seen Steven Universe before, then you probably have an idea of what to expect- nothing OVERLY graphic, but mostly just a lot of unpleasant imagery.
-First Chapter-
Domino and Loony stand at the entrance to the water palace, looking up at the grand double-doors as they wait for entry. Domino still has their prisoner’s gem bubbled in his hand and he keeps a tight grip on it- he doesn’t know what’s going to happen next, but, according to Gandra’s predictions, at some point he’ll lose their bargaining chip and he wants to make sure that doesn’t happen until they have Steelbeak safe and secured.
Without even needing to knock, the doors swing inward to let them in. As the pair of gems venture inside, they get to fully take in the décor. For all of its size and elaborate architecture on the outside, the inside is mostly just a single large room. Granted, the room is tastefully decorated and furnished with ornate pillars and artistic sculptures, a variety of chairs along the edges of the room, and, in the center, a large rectangular table with three chairs on the end closest to the entrance and one large chair on the opposite end.
And every last bit of it is made of ice and water.
To most people, such a spectacle would be considered beautiful. Domino, on the other hand, knows better. Gandra was right in her earlier assessment of the building- Liquidator was just using it as a way to flex his figurative muscles and remind them (mostly Domino) of how powerful he truly is. Sadly, it’s working…
“Liqui?” Loony calls out to the seemingly empty room around them while looking around. “Steely?”
The “floor” near the table ripples and, within seconds, a familiar gem rises up out of the water.
The gemstone itself is the only thing that can still be considered familiar about the other man, Domino soon notices, as Liquidator has changed drastically since the last time he saw him: Rather than the buff, intimidating physique he previously used, he looks smaller- the harsh look he had before softened and smoothed out to something more friendly and approachable with scruffier ears and a brighter smile. His outfit has changed as well- instead of the elegant uniform he once wore, he now wears a simpler and far more casual high-collared sapphire blue sleeveless shirt with an arctic blue star on the front and dark oxford blue pants with a belt that looks like braided strands of ice with a solid ice-rose for a buckle. When he opens his eyes to look at them properly, both gems are surprised to see that his right eye seems to have been unnaturally split into two overlapping pupils with the top one being two shades lighter than his normal eye color, the bottom one being two shades darker, and, in the area where they overlap in the middle, the small semi-circle is the same, regular color as his other, unchanged eye.
“Ah, Loony, it’s been far too long!” He looks at her with a bright smile, stretching his hand over to hers in a familiar greeting. “How’s the most fun spinel in the universe doing? Inquiring minds are dying to know!”
Loony returns the smile, stretching her arm over to his and winding their equally bendy arms around each other before their hands meet for a quick high-five. “Hiya, Liqui! I’m great!” Her arm returns when the “handshake” ends and she looks the lapis lazuli over from head to foot (well, puddle, more accurately). “You look so different now!”
Liquidator chuckles, clearly enjoying the spinel’s familiar cheerful attitude. “I’m the new and improved Liquidator- now softer and 85% more marketable than the classic version. Oh, but where ARE my manners?” He pulls one of the chairs back for her and does a sweeping hand gesture towards it. “Please, have a seat!”
Loony giggles as she sits in the offered chair. “Thanks, Liqui!”
After pushing her chair in, Liquidator finally greets his other “guest”. His smile doesn’t falter for a moment, but the joy in his voice is more of a sharp, hollow-mockery compared to how he spoke with Loony. “Domino…good to see you’re still the same 100% original product that I remember.”
Domino chooses to ignore the less than subtle jab about him apparently being the same as he was 4,000 years ago. “Why mess with a classic?” He pulls his own chair out and takes a seat as well, his eyes never leaving the canine. “Now, if you’re done pretending this is a friendly visit, can we please get to the matter at hand?” He holds up the bubbled melanite in indication. “I believe you wanted to do a hostage exchange?”
Liquidator doesn’t look surprised at all to see the darker gem in the bubble. “I had a feeling he wouldn’t be able to sell you on his performance.” He moves over to the lone seat on the other side of the table and takes his place in it comfortably. “So, what did he do to get bubbled?”
Loony gives Liquidator a slightly embarrassed smile and waves one of her hands shyly. “Sorry, Liqui, that was me. I kiiiiiiiiiiinda lost my temper and squeezed him a teensy-weensy bit too hard.”
Liquidator gives her a reassuring smile in return. “Let me guess- he called you Domino’s spinel, didn’t he?” At a nod from the spinel in question, he sighs and shakes his head. “My apologies- I should have warned him not to do that.” He stretches his arm across the table and holds his hand out expectantly to Domino. “Now, simply hand him over and we can-”
Domino moves the hand holding the bubbled gem away from the stretched out limb, leaning back in his chair so that the hand holding it is now over the floor rather than the table. “Not until we know that Steelbeak is still in one piece.”
Liquidator’s hand snaps back over to his chest as he gasps, looking at the snowflake obsidian with an over-exaggerated look of surprise. “Why, Domino, are you doubting my honor as a businessman?!” When his over-acting gains no reaction from the other gem, Liquidator sighs and flicks his fingers in an upward gesture. “Fine, fine, I suppose it’s only fair for both parties to inspect the merchandise before bartering.” The floor beside the aquatic gem begins to ripple as it did when he entered earlier, a pointed block of ice slowly rising out of the water.
Unfortunately, while they’re both distracted looking at the floor across the room, neither Domino nor Loony see the shifting floor behind them. Before either of them even have time to notice it, the shift in the floor gets closer to Domino and a pair of hands reach out of the water, snatching the bubbled melanite and quickly bringing it down into the floor.
“Woah, what was that?!” Loony stares at the floor behind Domino, surprise clear on her face as she tries to sit up and see a trace of what happened.
Domino looks down to the floor, and the quickly vanishing bubble, with an irritated glare. There went their bargaining chip.. “So much for a fair trade.” He turns his glare across the table towards Liquidator.
“Sorry, you know how third-party vendors are- always so quick to take their payment and leave.” Liquidator shrugs, but never loses his easy salesman-pitch or poker-face smile. “I told his friends I’d guarantee his safe return, but I guess they just couldn’t wait.” He averts his gaze to the object rising up beside him. “But, I am a gem of my word, so here- signed, sealed, and delivered at no extra charge!”
The ice block finishes rising out of the floor all the way, revealing Steelbeak completely frozen and immobile inside. The position he’s stuck in makes it look like he was in the process of fighting back, his hands still positioned as they would be if he were holding his tommy-gun while his legs gave the impression he’d been stepping backwards. Liquidator tries to continue whatever he was saying before, but a pair of striped arms suddenly reaching across the room stops him.
Loony wraps her arms around Steelbeak’s frozen prison a few times before she pulls and snaps the ice block off at the base. “I got him, Dommy!” She rapidly retracts her arms to bring the other gem closer and sets the large chunk of ice down between herself and Domino.
“Well done, Loony.” He tells her before summoning one of his pistols from his gem and pointing it at his partner. The barrel turns a light orange color as flames shoot out, melting the ice almost instantly. Once enough of it is melted, he turns his attention back to Liquidator, the gun vanishing. “Now that we have what we came for, we’ll be on our way.”
Liquidator, to Domino’s displeased surprise, doesn’t look bothered at all about losing the melanite. He seems frustratingly calm about the whole thing as he leans back in his chair with another casual shrug. “Nine out of ten gem-physicians agree: Steelbeak’s not in any shape to leave just yet.”
“What are you-?” Domino starts to ask, but is soon distracted when he sees Steelbeak fall to his knees out of the corner of his eye. “Steelbeak?” He looks down at the other gem and his eyes widen as he finally gets a good look at his partner.
He’s on his knees with one hand braced against the floor to keep from falling over. With the ice gone, they can now see that his colors are duller than usual and, when he manages to look up at them with a clearly pained expression on his face, they see his eyes are a glassy grey with no pupils or irises. “H…Hey, snowflake…Hey, stretch…you…ya sure took your time, didn’t ya..?” Steelbeak’s words are clipped, his voice strained. He manages to lift himself up for a moment, but is forced back down when a tremor of pain wracks his body, causing his free hand to clutch at his gemstone while the light making up his body flickers.
The action draws his teammates’ eyes to Steelbeak’s gem and, even if they only see it for a moment, they both notice the large, splintered crack in the normally pristine black rock.
“Steely!” Loony’s crouching down at his side instantly, looking extremely worried for the melanite’s well-being. “Are you okay?!”
Domino, on the other hand, is unable to move for a minute. He stares down at his partner of more than 8,000 years, his mind caught between shock at seeing the normally strong rooster brought to his knees and concern for the amount of pain the other gem is clearly suffering through. Eventually, though, the shock and concern merge together with something far stronger: Protective fury.
Directing that fury at the only one in the room deserving of it, Domino summons both of his guns from his gem and points them at Liquidator. “You CRACKED him?!” He fires anything and everything at his disposal, the barrels of his signature weapons turning a myriad of colors as he fires shot after shot at the lapis lazuli- orange for a burst of flames, icy blue for freezing ice bullets, bright yellow for sparking electrified rounds, dark blue for streams pressurized water, bright white for a blinding white flare, green for a shot of sticky slime, purple for a cloud of toxic gas, translucent white for bullets made of compressed air, and classic black for regular lead bullets.
Liquidator is once again unfazed by the change in atmosphere and, with nothing more than a simple raise of his hand, he easily brings up an entire wall of water in front of him that blocks each and every shot that’s sent his way. He waits until Domino’s calmed down enough- or rather, until he’s realized how futile his attacks are in this situation and begrudgingly stops firing- before looking at the loon with a bored expression. “Are you done yet?”
“…….” Even though his attack has stopped, the anger in Domino’s eyes has not lessened one bit.
“Good.” The wall of water recedes, Liquidator apparently confident that Domino won’t try anything else for the time being. “Now, that that’s over, please understand that I really DID call you here just to talk.”
“Talk?” Domino’s guns disappear and he leans forward over the table, his empty hands coming down to grip the icy furniture in a crushing grip that cracks the edges a little. “You kidnapped my partner, cracked him, and sent an impostor to lure me into a trap. I have nothing to say to you.” Just like all those years ago, if looks alone could kill then Liquidator’s gem would have exploded from the barely restrained fury in those glaring red eyes.
The lapis lazuli sighs with a roll of his own mismatched eyes. “All of which could have been 100% avoidable if Steelbeak just listened to me when I told him to call you over. Instead, he decided to throw out petty insults, fight me, and even deactivated his beacon so you couldn’t track him, when all I wanted was a friendly chat.”
“Hmph, ‘friendly’ he says..” Steelbeak’s voice maintains its usual amount of sarcasm despite the pain he’s in as Loony helps him up into one of the chairs. He keeps his hand on his gem, sending a weakened glare across the table at their “host”. “Last time we saw ya, ya walked out on us, shackled me, stabbed me, and threatened t’ break us if we came anywhere near ya…forgive me if I was less than willin’ t’ call my partner int’ a trap.”
“……” That, at least, made Liquidator look away briefly with an expression that seemed marginally guilt-ridden. “I won’t apologize for what I did or how I left.” He finally says with a sigh before looking back across the table at the other gems. “But..just know that I am not the same gem that I was back then.”
“Clearly.” Domino’s voice is dripping with equal parts venom and sarcasm. “After all, the old you would’ve- what were your words again? Oh, right-” He narrows his eyes, quietly seething as he paraphrases the lapis lazuli’s parting words back to him. “- ‘broken him and made me watch the whole thing’.”
Liquidator sighs again, this time in frustration as he drags one hand down his face. “I really didn’t want it to come to that..” He holds his hands up in a gesture meant to show no harm, though it isn’t quite as meaningful given their current surroundings and the gem’s earlier display. “Listen, all I want is ten minutes of your time. If you agree to give me that, then I’ll make sure Steelbeak is able to leave here in better shape than he came in.”
Domino nearly refuses the offer, each second around the liquid lapis lazuli making his irritation grow. However, a look at his partner- at the pained look in his eyes as he struggles to remain upright, all while trying to keep his face as neutral as possible to hide his suffering and not appear as weak as he likely feels- is enough to make him reconsider.
“You get five minutes.” He sits back down, keeping his arms crossed to help resist the urge to shoot the other gem.
“A shrewd negotiator as always.” Liquidator’s earlier grin returns. “Fine, I’m flexible enough to change the terms and conditions- five minutes it is.” He begins to stretch his arm across the table towards Steelbeak. “And, just to show that I’m willing to keep my end of the bargain-”
Domino raises one of his hands and a barrier-bubble instantly appears around his partner (the flash of white also helping to hide the way the rooster flinched when he saw the approaching appendage- he must still be shaken up over what happened, he usually never flinches in the face of danger), preventing the watery hand from reaching its target. “What are you going to do?” He has no reason to trust Liquidator’s words, not at this point.
“As I said, I’m upholding my side of our agreement.” Liquidator explains. “This new form of mine isn’t just fashionable, it’s also quite functional- I’ve picked up some handy new tricks.”
Domino still doesn’t feel like the lapis lazuli’s words are worth anything- not after what he did to Steelbeak and what he’d threatened to do before- but a familiar presence at his side finally pulls his attention away from the blue gem. “Dommy..” He looks to his left and sees Loony standing next to him, but her eyes are on Liquidator as she speaks. “I don’t get any bad feelings from him…I think…I think he’s telling the truth.” She looks back down at Domino. “He really wants to fix Steely.”
Domino is still hesitant to trust Liquidator, given his track record.
……
…but, he does trust Loony’s judgement…
Reluctantly, he releases his barrier, giving the blue gem a warning glare. “If you try anything-”
“I won’t.” Liquidator reassures him, his hand moving the rest of the way to Steelbeak’s chest.
The melanite is more than a little hesitant to move his hand off of his gemstone, but, after looking to Domino and receiving a brief nod to confirm that he won’t let anything happen to him, he slowly pulls his hand away to reveal the cracked black stone beneath.
Liquidator places his hand against the stone and, to the surprise of the three darker gems, it begins to glow and shimmer as if sunlight were streaming through his palm. When his hand retracts, the melanite is as nearly-flawless as it was before.
Steelbeak looks down at his stone in surprise, his colors having regained their usual vibrancy and his eyes returned to normal. “Would ya look at that..?” He looks across the table to the watery gem. “Since when did you become part rose quartz?”
Liquidator grins in response, a few bubbles visible in his chest as a sign of quiet laughter. “It’s a long and dramatic tale involving a fusion-addicted jasper, some corrupted gems, my own far-too-close-for-comfort brush with corruption-” He taps the side of his head by his misshapen eye for indication. “-and a fountain of healing tears that became my new body to save my life.” He waves his hand dismissively and shakes his head. “But, that’s a tale for another day. For now, I have a different story that I believe you’ll find far more interesting.”
“Your five minutes starts now.” Domino informs him, glancing at his watch to confirm the time.
“Very well then, I’ll give you the quick sales-pitch version.” Liquidator moves a hand over the table and small, three-dimensional figures of himself, a sapphire that looks like he’s part plant and part duck, and a tall gem bearing two gemstones- one on its cheek and one on its chest- with the appearance of a duck crossed with a rodent that Domino hasn’t seen before all appear out of the water on the table’s surface. “I’ve been on this planet with my friends-”
“Ya mean that pathetic little sapphire of yours and the fusion?” Steelbeak interrupts him with a condescending smirk.
“Bushroot and Goldy.” Liquidator gives the melanite a warning growl, but puts on a falsely understanding smile. “I know it can be hard to remember who my real friends are, but I’ve found it gets easier with time.”
Steelbeak rolls his eyes at the cheap shot regarding their conversation when he left. “The fusion’s got a name now? Woooow, you sound so attached- next thing ya know you’re gonna tell us you’ve done it, too.” He laughs at the very idea of it, not noticing the smirk on Liquidator’s face until he speaks again.
“I have.” Liquidator’s smirk only grows when the melanite’s laughter stops suddenly and makes him stare in disbelief at the lapis lazuli. “A few times, actually. Bushroot and I have a lovely fusion that goes by Angelite.” He chuckles, not caring about the confused and/or mildly disturbed looks he’s receiving from the other gems. “Anyway, back to the matter at hand.” He gestures to the figures on the table once again. “I’ve been on this planet with my friends for a while now, and we’ve decided that we all enjoy the freedom we’re granted here. We’ve abandoned our respective places in the Diamonds’ hierarchy and chosen to live here on Earth instead.” His smile slowly turns into a frown as an image of the Earth rises out of the table. “Recently, though, we’ve found out about a Diamond project known as ‘the Cluster’.” The image of the Earth splits open to reveal a large, jagged mass of something in the center of the planet. “It’s an enormous cluster of gem shards in the planet’s core that, when activated, will turn the planet into a living geo-weapon for the Diamonds…and destroy everything on the planet’s surface in the process.”
“Tragic,” Domino’s tone and expression are both equally dead-pan, showing how little he cares for the billions of lives that will be lost. “However, what weapons the Diamonds create and what happens to you, your friends, and this planet, have nothing to do with us.”
“A week or two ago, I would have agreed with you…but these started popping up out of the ground..” Liquidator concedes before moving his hand again to create images that are, honestly, unsettling to look at: A group of gem creatures that look like forcefully mashed together body parts from various different types of gems and animals. They all have hollow, empty eyes on their mismatched faces and several of them have multiple limbs or random body parts growing out of the wrong places. “We’ve started calling these ‘mini-clusters’.” Liquidator explains with a troubled frown. “It looks like they were early prototypes and by-products of the Diamonds’ experiments for the cluster. They have no mental activity, no ability to recognize anything or anyone around them…all they do is scream in pain and attack anything in their way..” He dismisses the images on the table and raises his hand beside himself, causing the floor to ripple as a blue-bubbled holo-disk rises up into his waiting palm. “A few days ago, we fought one that stood out to me. One of our allies on this planet wears armor with a video recorder built into his helmet- he was able to capture a good image of it during our fight.” The bubble around the disk pops and he sets it on the table, the surface shifting as the disk is carried from his end of the table to theirs. “I couldn’t be certain since it’s been a few thousand years and I only saw the images once or twice..but…I want you to take a look at it and tell me if you see anything familiar.”
More than a little curious, Domino touches a button on the small device. It activates and projects a three-dimensional hologram above the disk showing another one of the “mini-clusters”.
Steelbeak glances at the hologram, having a side-view of it, before looking back at Liquidator. “So, lemme get this straight, drippy- ya put us through all this just t’ show us some mashed t’gether gems? Like Dom said, we ain’t involved in whatever the Diamonds got planned for this rock. Right, snowflake?” When he doesn’t receive an answer right away, he looks back to his partner. “Deedee..?”
“……” Domino still doesn’t answer the other gem. He’s too busy staring in wide-eyed disbelief at the image in front of him. Then, to his partner’s utter shock, a tear slowly falls from his eye and trails down the dark feathers of his cheek.
“Domino?” Steelbeak’s definitely concerned now. Domino’s a tough gem, he doesn’t break down easily or crack under pressure and he doesn’t cry over nothing- especially not when there’s other people around to see it. In the thousands of years they’ve been together, he’s only been allowed to see the loon shed tears twice before, and both times were related to the exact same thing…
“Dommy..Dommy, I don’t get it..” Loony seems just as surprised as Domino, but far more confused. She looks away from the hologram with a frown on her beak so that she can look at the other dark-feathered bird instead. “You said shattered means ‘gone forever’, right? But if it means ‘gone forever’, then how come he’s right there?”
Before the melanite can ask who she’s talking about, a single word, said in a broken voice brimming with confusion and despair, leaves his partner’s beak:
“…Chuck…?”
“What?!” Steelbeak’s eyes widen in surprise this time. “ ‘Chuck’? As in Checkers- your old partner?” He gets out of his chair and moves around behind Domino and Loony to get a better look at the hologram.
From his new angle, Steelbeak can see the “mini-cluster” in its entirety: It’s as horrifying of a mashed together amalgamation of gems as the ones they were shown before with more limbs than it should’ve had in various colors of fur and feathers. The face he’d seen from his side had been that of some white-feathered duck he’d never seen before. From the front, though, he can see the other side of its face is that of a male dog with dark fur and a gray muzzle. It even has the dog’s arm and shoulder connecting up to the rest of him through a small sliver of his neck- fragments of clothing such as a brown sleeve and matching fingerless glove still being worn on its body. If that wasn’t enough of a confirmation, the “mini-cluster”’s gemstone on its chest, which looked like it was a forcefully fused together mass of different colored and textured gem shards, had a rather prominent chunk of a black and red fire round-radiated cut opal visible on the same side as the dog’s face.
Domino can’t seem to tear his eyes away from the image in front of him. How long had it been since he’d seen that face in something other than the millennia old holo-disk pictures in his room? But..the face isn’t right- there are no traces of its usual bright smile and its usually vibrant eyes are gone, replaced with a single pitch-black hole devoid of any visible life or emotion it may have once held.
It’s honestly the most horrific thing he’s seen in his entire life…
“So, I was right..” Liquidator mutters quietly before looking across the table to the others again. “We thought that ‘the Cluster’ was just the Diamonds’ way of getting payback for what happened to Pink Diamond..but, from what I heard, Checkers was shattered thousands of years before the Earth was even picked for colonization and in a completely different solar system- that would mean that this plan was in the works long before Pink Diamond’s shattering, or even the early stages of the rebellion.”
Steelbeak seems to be the only one out of the trio able to find his words, reaching forward to turn off the hologram to not only give him a better view of the blue gem on the other side, but to give his partner a reprieve from the gruesome sight. “Why’d ya call us, Liq? And don’t say it’s just ‘cause ya wanted t’ tell us about this mess.”
Liquidator sighs, looking at the melanite with a more pleading expression than he can ever remember seeing on the lapis lazuli’s face before. “Because I need your help.” The gravity of the situation is not lost on Steelbeak- he knows how much the other gem hates asking for help, so it must be seriously bad if he’s saying it out loud. “I’m looking into this whole ‘Cluster’ experiment as much as I can from here, but there’s only so much I can do..not like you three with your freedom to travel from planet to planet or your extensive information network and resources back on homeworld. I knew that if anyone could unravel this mystery, it would be you.” He frowns a bit. “I know I don’t really have the right to ask for your help, not after what happened before..but this whole thing feels bigger than that- bigger than all of us- and it’s not something that any of us can piece together on our own.” His eyes shift down to look at Domino, the loon’s eyes staring ahead unseeingly. “Plus…now that you’ve seen that..I doubt you’d be able to ignore it anytime soon…”
Steelbeak glances back down at the snowflake obsidian as well, trying to keep his face neutral despite the clear concern in his gaze. “…….” Taking a deep breath, the taller gem looks back over to Liquidator. “What did ya have in mind?”
“A simple exchange of information.” Liquidator proposes. With a raising of his hand again, another bubble rises up out of the floor beside him. When he pops this one and slides it across the table, they’re able to see that this one is a personal communicator. “I’ll provide you with any information that we find over here about ‘the Cluster’ and its ‘mini-clusters’, and you can do the same. Oh…and..here…” With a sympathetic frown, he brings one final bubble up out of the floor. This one, however, he does not pop before sliding it down the table to them. “Consider it a gesture of goodwill…and for old times’ sake..”
The bubble he slides to them contains the mass of shards from the hologram that made up the “mini-cluster”’s horribly fused together gemstone.
Domino’s eyes finally move from their forward position, looking downward at the bubbled mass of shards. “……” Without a word, he picks up the bubbled “gem” and walks briskly to the exit, Loony following close behind him.
Steelbeak stares after him for a minute before turning back to Liquidator with a scowl. “That was a low blow, Liq.”
“Perhaps..” Liquidator shakes his head. “But desperate times call for desperate measures.”
“……” That answer only makes Steelbeak scowl at him with a scathing glare before he picks up the communicator and follows after the rest of his team. “We’ll be in touch.”
“That’s all I’m asking for.” Liquidator watches the last of the darker gems leave, the door slamming shut harshly behind him, before he lets out a tired, worn-out sigh and leans forward to rest his head against his hands where they’re braced on the table. “……I’m sorry..” Alone in his palace of ice and water now, the quietly spoken words echo and fade away into nothingness.
<-Previous Chapter Next Chapter->
End Notes: Was Liquidator’s plan to show Domino and the others Checkers’ forced-fusion to make them intrigued enough to investigate it and the Cluster effective? Absolutely. Does he feel good about doing it? Not at all.
Like I said before, his relationship with Domino & Steelbeak is complicated and, even though they left on bad terms and had a mutually manipulative and almost parasitic friendship, he DID still see them as his friends for a while. He knew that doing this would trigger a lot of Domino’s past trauma involving Checkers, but he also knew it would work. The decision to involve them was NOT an easy one and he wrestled with it for a while before finally deciding that he needed to do it to get their help. Sometimes you have to do things you don’t like to help those you care about, but it can be hard when those actions end up hurting others- even if you’re not that close to them.
#darkwing duck#ducktales#dt17#FOWL Facets#Steelbeak#Dominic Domino#Loony Toony#liquidator#chuck checkers#steeldomino#liquiroot#(implied)#quackervolt#(also implied because Goldy is their fusion)#not my oc#100 follower giveaway!
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