#sorry for that last cliff hanger guys

[thatartiststudios]

All This Time I Could've Been Loving You Chapter 9: Holding You While It All Turns To Ashes

Rayla’s expression shifted from confusion to alarm as she followed his gaze. “Callum, I—”

“I thought they were safe,” he murmured, disbelief shaking his voice. “I thought we had time.”

Callum felt his breath quickening, the world around him blurring as the panic rose within him like a tidal wave. The distant smoke seemed to draw nearer, engulfing him in a suffocating haze of dread. Rayla watched him closely, her expression shifting from concern to understanding as she recognized the signs of a panic attack.

“Hey, just breathe, love,” she said, her voice steady as she pressed a firm hand against his chest, her other hand moving to his cheek to gently turn his face away from the horizon.

Callum continued to ramble, his words spilling out in a frantic rush. “What if something happened to them? What if they’re in danger? I can’t lose them, Rayla! I can’t lose anyone else!” His thoughts raced, each worst-case scenario spiraling into the next.

“Callum, focus on me,” Rayla urged, her gaze intense yet soothing. She took one of his fidgeting hands and placed it over her heart, grounding him. Her other hand remained firmly over his, a physical reminder of her presence. “Just breathe. In and out, okay?”

Continue on AO3

[mintmentos]

Had to physically restrain myself from putting on the next episode today this show has me in a vice grip I swear

[euphor1a]

Honestly, I shouldn’t have slept on revamping bewitched so much. I know I hate the way I wrote it and have to cringe at every word while editing and reworking on it but the characters were well-built despite my writing skills and the plot was pretty good 😔? I don’t think a ton of the readers who were hype about the series are around and it’s pretty hard to build a brand new audience.

[always-just-red]

HIIIIII congrats on 200 followers!! Can I have a Zayne smut fic pleasee?? Like the reader sees him wearing scrubs for the first time and she finds him hot or (reverse) him seeing the reader in uniform for the first time? Thank you!!

Sorry it's taken me so long to get around to this! '200 followers' is like a punch in the face reminding me how long this has been in the queue haha, but thank you so much! ❤ I don't write smut I'm afraid but this is a quick lil build-up to a cliff-hanger, so if any of the talented smut writers out there wanna write a part 2? Go for it! And tag me so I can read it link it here for everyone to enjoy!! Smut writers, I summon you!!! ✨🔥✨🔥✨✨

Professionalism

Zayne x Reader ❄

Summary: You love a man in uniform! Or... well, scrubs or whatever.

Genre: Suggestive (not smut sorryyy)

Warnings/Additional tags: still PG i guess since it cuts off before anything happens? gn!reader, established relationship, inappropriate workplace behaviour (shame on you Dr Zayne!!)

| Word count: 1.7k | Masterlist | Opt-in to my taglist here!

Disclaimer: Characters belong to Love and Deepspace. All work is my own, so please don't repost or plagiarise!

You’re not quite sure when this game started, but you’re going to win.

It was unassuming at first— harmless, even innocent little acts that slipped into something else altogether, as they so often do. Almost like falling in love: it snuck up on you. Coincidences— a chance meeting in the park, an accidental brush of two hands— become suddenly calculated. You take the reins from fate; you walk in the park where he takes his lunch, and he takes his lunch in the park where you walk. How fortunate it is, that you’re always running into one another.

Yes, this has been like falling in love. And neither one of you is naïve.

It’s dark outside the hospital. The stars are contesting the scattered, infinite lights of Linkon and you watch them through a window, finding meanings and shapes. They’ve a warmer glow than the cold, white, clinical lights in here.

“Could I get you something while you wait?” Yvonne asks, peeking over the top of the reception desk. She sounds anxious, and you can make a pretty good guess as to why.

“I’m fine. Thank you, though, really,” you smile cheerfully back.

She humours you with one in return. “I’m sure Dr Zayne will be along shortly,” she titters nervously, trying to fill the quiet. “He was with his last patient of the round when I spoke to him. It shouldn’t have been too much trouble, he must be— ah! Dr Greyson!”

The man was just passing through, face buried in a clipboard, but he stops at Yvonne’s greeting.

You lift a hand. “Hey, Greyson.”

“Hey!” He squints at something he’s read. “What a coincidence! I was just saying to Zayne it’s been a while since you paid us a—” he looks up and loses his train of thought. 

“Visit?” you finish.

“Umm… yes,” he chuckles, with the kind of reluctance that tells you he can’t decide if he’s falling victim to some prank. It’s the same anxiousness you’ve inflicted on poor Yvonne. He tests the waters with a: “Rough day at work?”

You beam at him. You’re sat with your usually pristine uniform marred by swathes of half-dried blood, too dark to be human. Not one bit of it is yours. By some miracle, you managed to perfectly dodge every swipe of that Wanderer’s claws today. Rolled out the way of every flying piece of rubble. “You should see the other guy,” you say, then double back, “well, the other thing.”

Greyson gives a stiff grin, still sceptical, but you’ve almost won him over. Nonchalantly, you reach for one of two brown paper bags at your side, then hold it out to him. “Here, for you!”

He tucks his clipboard under his arm, then comes over and takes it. There’s a soft crinkle as he unfurls the top. Sneaks a glance inside. His face lights up. “Thank you,” he enthuses, his hand diving in to retrieve a large chocolate-chip cookie— one of many. “Yvonne, would you like—”

She holds up her own paper bag. Greyson chuckles again, tucking into the treat. Like Zayne, he’s prone to working through his breaks, and you know he’s so often starving. Midway through a bite, he looks up at you, frowning. “Is this a bribe?” he mumbles, cheeks so full you almost can’t make out the question.

You smile at him pleasantly.

He chews slowly— connecting the dots. “No questions asked?” he guesses with a raised eyebrow.

“No questions asked,” you nod.

It’s a fair trade. The cardiac surgeon thinks it over, his eyes narrowed at you behind his glasses. He takes another suspenseful bite of the cookie. Chews. Swallows. Then there’s the broadest grin you’ve seen yet. “Works for me! I don’t want to know.”

With a nod to Yvonne, he carries on down the corridor, shooting you a knowing wink as he passes. You adore that man. Hell, half the hospital staff feel like family. You’d lay down your life for them, but you also delight in having them wrapped around your finger, albeit, with the help of a cookie or two.

You’re so busy watching Greyson leave that you don’t notice his absence has already been filled. Not at first, anyway, but then you feel it: hazel eyes on you.

You turn to meet them. Zayne stands, one hand curled around a small stack of paperwork, the other retrieving his glasses from his face. He tucks them into his breast pocket. “What a pleasant surprise,” he says, and the enthusiasm has been carved out of his words and replaced with suspicion.

“Hey, doctor,” you tease, lifting the last of your care packages from the coffee table. “Thought I’d join you for your break before I head home. Do you mind?”

His gaze flits over you, and it isn’t the honourable inspection he’d claim it to be if you dared call him out on it. He’s trying not to look again. “Of course not.”

This would usually earn you a sheepish smile, or a kiss on the cheek, but you’re angling for something else today. Victory. Look at him: he knows.

Like you said, neither one of you is naïve.

…

All right— knife to your throat?— you have an inkling as to how this started.

It was a more honest version of this: you’d stopped by the hospital, a few months ago, to boost the morale of a certain doctor and his hard-working team with some coffee from down the road. The machine in the staff room was broken, and by multiple accounts: made shitty coffee, anyway. So you often found yourself, hot drinks in hand, trying to catch Zayne on one of his few breaks.

(You miss that old coffee machine. They’ve replaced it, now.)

One morning, you were a little too late. Zayne had been called on to assist with a surgery, and you almost clashed in the corridor— you hadn’t recognised him at first. He was out of his usual attire: dressed head to toe in his medical scrubs. Despite the rush he was in, he made time to flash you a gentle smile. Said you could wait in his office; he wouldn’t be long.

You never did give a coherent answer. There was something about seeing him like that— so professional, so in his element. Off to save someone’s life, probably. Gods, he was amazing, and he just looked so, so good. 

Zayne knew from the start, of course; he’s so perceptive when it comes to you.

You used to feel guilty— positively sinful— until you caught that look in his eye, one day after work. You’d gotten to his place, kicked your boots off while he watched from the couch, enamoured, but you hadn’t noticed. You’d been complaining about a Wanderer. You were a mess: your hair, your uniform.

You remember looking up, and there it was. A flicker of something dark in his gaze.

He was quick to disguise it. Always quick to disguise it, because he’s a gentleman.

It’s been an unspoken war of attrition since then, and you’re both determined to outlast the other. You pick and choose your battles; there are times Xavier tries to drag you to the Association’s medics for surface scrapes and bruises, but you turn him down: you have a doctor at home, thank you very much.

Zayne tends to every wound with tight lips and steady hands. You’d feel bad, but…

He sometimes turns up to your dates still wearing his lab coat. (He left his regular coat at home again, and it’s cold outside, isn’t it? A lab coat is better than nothing.)

Last week, he really pushed his luck. He was demonstrating a new experimental technique in the operating theatre, and Greyson insisted you come along to watch. It was so innovative, he said. Zayne was working something of a miracle, he said.

So here you are, fighting back.

“Well?” Zayne asks. He’s sitting back in his chair while you ‘straighten’ his tie.

You’re perched on his desk, not listening. “Hmm?”

He catches your hand gently, using it to pull you closer, so you’re forced to meet his eyes. His tone is low. “What did I just say?”

You glance down again. Chuckle: “Something about responsibility?” 

A finger lifts your chin, tilting your gaze back up. “It’s inappropriate,” Zayne says.

“What’s inappropriate?”

“You know what you’re doing.”

“No,” you mutter, and the finger on your chin can’t keep you from staring at his lips. You speak a whisper of enticement: “Tell me what I’m doing.”

Will he do it— say it— after all this time? Put it to words so that it might finally be acted upon? Break, you will him, looking into his eyes, because the last stunt he pulled pushed you over the edge, and you can’t hold on much longer. It’s starting to hurt.

All in. You are going to fall, so you’ve got nothing to lose by trying to bring him down with you.

“It’s just a uniform, Zayne,” you smile innocently. “But if it bothers you that much… I could always take it off.”

Your doctor stares at you, his expression refusing to melt. Then he lets out a sigh. In the beat of a heart he’s up out of his chair, striding away from his desk, away from you.

“Zayne?”

Now he’s not listening. He’s by the door, taking his lab coat down from a hook and threading his arms through the sleeves. He fixes the cuffs, straightens it, but that’s where the motions of habit end. His fingers don’t make it to the buttons, and of course you notice; you’re not naïve.

Zayne turns to you, and there’s no disguising that look in his eyes and its common counterpart: a rare, inevitable smile. Complete surrender. He locks the door with a click.

Ha.

You were always going to win, weren’t you?

[lovelettersfromluna]

˚ ༘⋆｡˚❀ Blossom ❀˚｡⋆ ༘˚

{Ellie Williams x Reader}

Summary: Ellie broke up with you in high school right before she left for college. At the time, it left you devastated….five years later, she’s back. And she’s back for you.

an: hi my angels! I KNOW I KNOW I HEAR YOU ALL YELLING AT ME I’m sorry this took so long. This isn’t exactly what any of you asked for, but it’s an idea Ive had for a while. Once I started it I seriously could not stop until I was finished. Yes this is a cliff hanger, and yes I’m planning a part 2. I have a bunch other things coming up as well! I hope you’re all doing well, and I thank you so so much for the patience you all have with me. I really hope you guys like this one, enjoy my loves 🖤🖤

Warnings: 18+!! Smut!! Angst!! (Is it a fic of mine if there isn’t angst at this point), small town!Ellie, it’s summer time ofc hehe, fingering (r!receiving), nipple play (r!receiving), petnames, Ellie hurt reader in the past but is extremely desperate for her now, lots of kissing, let me know if I missed anything pleaseee. (Not proofread)

You can read part 2 here!

“But…can’t we just…can you just rethink this Ellie? You always said we would be-“ Ellie was quick to cut you off as she shoved the remainder of your things into a box, her eyes never once turning in your direction as you sat on her bed, eyes staring up at her as you practically begged her to just take a moment and think about this.

“I’ve already made up my mind. I don’t want to have to worry about you while I’m away, this is what’s best” her words are cold, and stern and it almost doesn’t even sound like her, like your girlfriend isn’t even living inside the person who is currently rummaging through her closet to look for the random things you’d left throughout the years.

And you aren’t even sure what to say. Fat tears are rolling down your cheeks as you silently cry, sitting on Ellie’s bed as you plead with her to just….fucking listen to you.

The soft sniffle you let out is what finally has her looking in your direction, and she sighs. You look so small, so defeated, and she knows she’s being rough with you right now. For some reason, she doesn’t seem to care.

She puts her hand on her hip, standing near her closet for a moment before she reaches down and grabs the box, setting it on her desk. She walks over to you, standing over you as you stare down at your hands, silently crying on her bed.

“Come on…it’s late and I need to start packing…” She mumbles out, you can’t help but look up at her in disbelief. You had never seen her be this cold towards you, she was always warm and welcoming. This new side of her made you feel sick.

You know there isn’t any use in sitting there and begging her, and you decided you’d save any pride that you had left, and stop yourself from further embarrassment. You stand up, roughly wiping away your tears as you make your way towards her door. When you turn around, opening your mouth to say one last thing to her, she shoves the box into your arms and slams the door in your face.

That was five years ago.

Sometimes if you think about it hard enough, you can still think about those feelings you felt that night. Eighteen years old, heartbroken, confused, sobbing into your pillow as you begged the invisible force that was the universe to explain to you why this happened to you, and what you could have done to change the unforgiving course that your relationship with Ellie took.

And it wasn’t to say that it was sudden, or that you didn’t suspect it, you did. Your break up with Ellie was something that was bound to happen, and you both knew that, it was just her demeanor that made it seemed as though she never cared for you that came as a surprise.

Ever since the final months of your senior year together, your relationship had been estranged. Ellie had been so distant, so focused on college, but so where you. You were both extremely involved with your academic life, with your writing career being so important to you, and Ellie wanting to desperately get out of the small town you both lived in, your lives had been set in stone from the moment you both got your acceptance letters from your colleges.

The thing is, they were nowhere near each other. And you knew that it would be hard to keep a relationship with Ellie. However, you expected things to go differently, to keep in touch with the girl that had grown to be your favorite person in the entire world from the moment she took you under her wing on the first day of ninth grade.

But that isn’t what happened at all. Ellie threw you away, shoving a box of your things into your arms and sending you home without even a simple goodbye before she was getting on a plane to go to Europe for college.

As time went on, you understood why she did what she did, you just wished she’d done it differently.

And maybe you never truly got over the girl that you had fallen in love with when you were so young. Regardless of if it was puppy love or not, it was love, and your youth would never be able to take away from that.

You never truly forgave Ellie either. You got over it, and you one day woke up and figured there was no use in dwelling on something that had already happened, and that you could not change, especially since you were in college as well. You quite literally had the life you dreamed of, and worked for since you were a little girl and you weren’t taking advantage of it because of a girl that broke your heart, and no longer cared about you.

Because you knew Ellie, and you knew that she would be living her life, doing all the things she wanted to do, traveling the world and enjoying herself without anything holding her back.

So that’s what you did, you lived your life. Because no matter how upset you were, no one had the right to rob you of that.

You enjoyed the rest of your time at college, making life long friends and memories, enjoying the life of a young person living in a big city, studying your most loved subjects, even finding a cute girl every once in a while to fill the void that was your love life.

But you did it all with the girl who broke your heart in mind, the wild fire that once burned inside of you and forced countless tears from your eyes succumbing to a few pieces of burnt wood, still glowing from the previous flames that engulfed them.

Calm, but still there.

After college, you took on a few jobs and internships that would benefit your writing career, getting you in touch with good people that would point you in the write direction. You were praised for being a young writer with such a knack for writing, and before you knew it, you had an agent and a publicist who were eager to get your work on the shelves.

The city was loud, and bustling. And while it was amazing for you to party until the sun came up, and to make out with strangers outside of a bar, it wasn’t the best for writing. It was too loud, and you found that your constant state of writers block came from the overwhelming sense of stimulation that came from the city and the people in it.

It’s how you found yourself coming back to your home town during the summer, purchasing a small house in a quiet neighborhood near your parents old house. It’s small, and quiet, and has the prettiest garden with the prettiest flowers. You feel the creativity flowing through your veins the minute you sit down on the couch near your window, the calm breeze blowing through your hair.

And regardless of the fact that it’s your first time home since you left for college, and the sleepy town you grew up in holds so much hurt and pain from your younger years, you’re writing, and you’re happy.

And there’s no harm in making new memories to replace the bad ones.

It’s a normal day for you, the summer breeze is warm and inviting, and you find that these days are the best to take advantage of. The weather is nice, and warm enough that you’re able to lay out and write to your hearts content, but not hot to the point of feeling as though your brain is melting inside of your skull. You find yourself at the park near your house, laid out on a white sheet you brought from home. You chose a spot near the lake under a shady tree.

You were so confident in your newest work, finding yourself smiling like an idiot every time you felt you were typing too fast for your fingers to keep up with your thoughts. You liked it that way, getting so lost in your own little world, making it so easy to avoid the outside world that was around you.

So lost, that you didn’t even hear the low chuckle behind you.

You had to blink a few times, seemingly breaking yourself out of your trance. Your eyes had to adjust a bit to the warm glow of the afternoon instead of the bright morning sun that you remembered looking at when you first got to the park. Your eyes widened a bit when you checked the time, realizing how much time had past. You had spent the entire day writing.

“Writin’ again huh? You gettin’ close to the end?” Joel rasped out.

Joel had always loved you. From the moment Ellie brought you home, he was just as enamored with you as she was. He was used to his daughter bringing home friends all the time, always mixing up the old names with the new ones and opting to give them a polite greeting before she was dragging them up to her bedroom, Ellie always had a thing for picking up strays, he’d tell her.

But you, you were different. He saw the way Ellie’s eyes twinkled when she talked about you, the way her freckled cheeks would burn red every time he mentioned you, and whether or not Ellie wanted to invite you over for dinner. You made his daughter happy, and he loved you for that.

He wasn’t the happiest when he realized Ellie had ended things. Once the smiles that came with the mention of your name turned into aggravated huffs and eager attempts at trying to brush it off, he figured things didn’t end well.

That, and the fact that he spotted you leaving Ellie’s bedroom with a box filled with your things and tears streaming down your cheeks.

He told Ellie that night, that girls like you were hard to find. And that he hoped she at least had the decency to let you down easy, because that’s how he had raised her.

At least he hoped.

The hardest part about coming back home after so long, was that you’d feel lonely. Your parents had sold their house and decided to travel after you left, and while you were extremely happy for them, you couldn’t help but feel empty with a lack of parental guidance and warmth close by.

Joel made sure you were never without it.

When he saw the little house with the cute garden that you always talked about when you were younger had been sold, he figured you were coming back. He made sure to call you before you arrived, the man always keeping your number in his phone, regardless of the fact that his daughter had begged him time and time again to delete it.

Joel was at your door the week you moved in, pulling you into a big bear hug. The smell of his cologne and fresh cut grass almost had you in tears, because it made you remember just how much you missed home, how much you missed him…

How much you missed Ellie.

So, ever since you were back home, Joel never really went a day without seeing you. He’d take you into town to run some errands, you’d drop off some dinner to him once in a while, making sure he was eating and healthy. You’d even made it a tradition to have coffee once a week together.

Joel was lonely, you saw it in his eyes. He missed his daughter dearly and he didn’t seem to handle being an empty nester as well as your parents did. Ellie had done an amazing job at avoiding her home town as much as possible, never visiting for more than a weekend.

Joel needed a kid to look after, and you needed a parent to look after you.

You giggled softly as you closed your laptop and put it in your messenger bag. Joel was already close by, his calloused hand reaching out for yours and helping you onto your feet. You brushed your hand down your dress, getting any wrinkles out before you let out a sigh, shaking your head.

“Unfortunately not. This one’s gonna be a long one…it’ll be worth it though” you nod to yourself as you grab your sheet from the ground. Joel is already on the other side as he helps you fold it up, causing you to smile softly. “What has you out here today? Going into town?”

Joel nods in agreement, “always is kiddo. Always said you were gonna be a big author someday” he gives you a genuine smile, making his eyes crinkle until they were almost gone. He’s so proud of you, he always has been and it’s nearly enough to make your heart melt.

You smile softly as you adjust your bag on your shoulder after you put your sheet inside of it. You and Joel begin walking away from the lake and towards the side walk, and you can already see his pick up truck parked under a shady tree.

“Comin out of town actually, was in need of some groceries” He groans out, causing you to laugh softly. Joel hates grocery shopping, says he gets too distracted and never knows what he’s out of or doesn’t need.

But there’s something else there, his tone is different and you can’t help but feel like there’s something else on his mind. Something bothering him.

You bend your head down a bit, trying to get a better look at the older man’s face before you give him a small hum. “You okay Joel? Something on your mind?” You question softly. You assume he’s just missing his daughter, and you know he’d never come to you to vent about it since he knows how you feel about her.

He lets out a sigh, like he’d been holding it in from the moment he woke up, and it’s all you need to confirm that there is in fact something bothering him.

You’re both standing in front of his car at this point, the summer breeze getting cooler against your skin now that the sun has set. Joel turns towards you so that he’s facing you, and the look on his face has you worried.

He lets out another sigh, and your eyebrows are furrowed in confusion and concern as you stare up at him. “Listen kid..I uh…I can’t lie to you…wouldn’t sit right on my conscience and all…” he lets out, and you’re already scared of what he’ll say next.

“I didn’t…didn’t mean to say, really I didn’t I…it just slipped is all, when I was on the phone with her and..” he sighs softly, pausing for a moment before he starts again.

“Ellie’s coming home..” he dead pans.

And before you can even fully comprehend what he’s saying, you’re eighteen years old again, crying on your bed, begging for an answer, blaming yourself for not being enough. You can’t even fully understand that he basically just said she’s coming back because he mentioned that you’re back, because you suddenly feel like you can’t breath. Any and all progress you had made on yourself, and getting over what she did to you is set back. It’s like you didn’t make any at all to begin with, and your heart is breaking all over again.

Joel must sense that you aren’t okay, because he frowns as he waits for you to say something. He reaches out, pressing his hand against your shoulder. “Kiddo? You with me?” He asks softly, and his rough voice is the only thing that is bringing you back to earth.

You blink your eyes a few times, finally looking into his eyes rather than right through him. His expression breaks your heart, because you know he’s blaming himself for this, and he’s blaming himself for hurting you when that isn’t at all the case.

You give him a sad, small before you nod. “I’m with you Joel…” you mumble softly before you let out a sigh, paired with a half shrug.

“Things with me and Ellie…it happened, and it happened a long time ago and I can’t stop her from coming back, or you from seeing your daughter…I’m okay Joel. I promise” you nod, trying to assure the man that despite the fact that you quite literally just short circuited for a minute, that you are okay.

But he doesn’t buy it. His expression is still worried and concerned as he looks down at you. “C’mon kid…you can talk to me..just because she’s my-“ you giggle softly as you ball up your fist, punching his arm playfully to stop him before you shake your head.

“Im good Joel…it’s been long enough that…it doesn’t bother me anymore” you sigh out, trying to convince not only him but yourself.

You inhale deeply, the breeze forcing leaves to dance around both your feet before you nod towards the direction of your house. “M’gonna head home…enjoy your time with her, okay?” Your words are genuine, because you know how much he needs this, how much he needs her.

He opens his mouth to say something, to explain that although he’s looking forward to his daughter returning, he knows that it isn’t him that she’s returning for. He wants to explain that this visit has been entirely motivated by you.

But he doesn’t, he simply gives you a gentle smile as he nods. “You sure you don’t need a ride home kid?” He calls out as you’re already turning around, making your way down the familiar path that leads to your house.

You smile as you shake your head, turning around a bit as you call out to him. “The walk is good! You gotta get her room ready for her anyways. Night Joel!” You call out, cutting the conversation down completely.

Because you know you can’t do it anymore. You have to create a game plan for yourself to avoid Ellie for the next however many days she’ll be in town. You need to be alone, and in your own space so that you’re able to properly digest the news that you’d just received.

Your ex girlfriend was coming back home. The ex girlfriend that had ripped your heart out and shred it into a million tiny little pieces, that you hadn’t heard from for the last five years, who you were sure you’d go the rest of your life without seeing, was coming back to the small town that you were both from, where it all started.

You were so fucked.

Joel never have you a specific date on when his daughter was coming home, but you figured she was back once Joel’s daily texts and visits had become more sparse.

His silence was your sign to make yourself a scarce as possible. You made sure to only go out for necessities late at night, right before the shops in town closed, or extremely early before anyone in their right mind would be out.

And other than that, you’d stay home. You utilized your backyard for any sunlight you needed to get, and you were practically glued to your favorite couch near the window for a light breeze when wanting to write.

Although you were coming down with a slight case of cabin fever, you were safe from any awkward interactions, and that was fine by you.

You had spent the day cleaning, needing a bit of a reset for the new week coming in. You opened up all the windows, letting in a light breeze and airing out your house as you played music and made your way around your home, washing your sheets and folding laundry. It was therapeutic to you in a way, being able to rest later in the day in a clean home.

And that’s what you were doing now, you were showered and changed into your favorite pair of pajamas, a pair of cotton shorts with little stars on them and a tank top. You were sitting on your wooden floor in your living room, your brows furrowed as you slowly dragged the nail polish brush over one of your toes, trying to find something to do to kill the time before you had to hop into bed.

The windows were still open, a soft breeze blowing in as you hummed a random melody to yourself, your chin pressed against your knee to stabilize yourself as you painted your toes. In that moment you were so content, your head so empty of any racing thoughts that you weren’t even concerned about Ellie, or that fact that she was currently in the same town as you. It didn’t matter to you anymore.

Until you heard a firm knock at your door.

You frowned softly as you looked up at the clock on your wall, and then out one of your windows. It was already far too late for visitors, and you weren’t expecting any anyways. You sighed softly as you blew cool air gently onto your drying toes before carefully getting up, and tip toeing over to your door.

You figured it was your next door neighbor, the old woman becoming somewhat of a friend to you since you had moved in. She often came over needing help to video chat her grand kids, or to drop off some extra pastries she’d made. It worried you a bit that she’d be coming over so late in the night, a soft sigh leaving your lips as you prepared yourself to warn the old woman about the dangers of walking around so late at night, even if it was right next door.

But it wasn’t your sweet next door neighbor. It was Ellie.

You audibly gasp, your eyes going wide as you stare up at her, because you realize in that moment just how long it’s been since you’ve seen her face, and not imagined it.

She’s much taller now, her face is no longer round and youthful, but instead sharper. Her hair is much shorter, the spiky ends laying flat against the nape of her neck. You figure she cut it herself because of that. She’s still sporting the same side part, her brown fringe laying across her forehead and nearly spilling out onto her pretty green eyes.

Her eyes, they’re the same but so much different. They’re still the same shade of emerald you used to love so much, but they seem to be missing something. A certain sparkle that had been there the last few times you saw there isn’t there anymore, and it makes you want to reach out and grab her.

Your hand is gripping your door so hard, you’re sure it was enough to pull the hinges off. You’re at a loss for words, because your ex girlfriend is standing in front of you, and she’s taller, and her features are sharper, and she’s exuding something that she didn’t before all while lacking something that she used to have and….

And you can’t fucking breath.

Just like her father, she can see what’s going on inside your head. She’s chewing at her lip anxiously, because she isn’t sure how much time has passed, but enough has passed that she’s worried about you, and she’s worried about the fact that you haven’t said a single thing.

Ellie steps forward, trying to close the space between the two of you. It doesn’t close, because you back away the second you see her moving. It’s like you’re scared of her, afraid of uttering a single word to the girl in fear that it’ll only create more sorrowful memories that you’ll have to bury with the rest.

You know that if you don’t speak, she won’t leave.

“Ellie?” You breath out, as if you’d been holding it in from the moment you saw her. Ellie realizes how long it’s been since she’s heard you say her name, and now she can’t breath. Your voice hasn’t changed much, and the memories she had of you were becoming more and more blurry with each passing day. Distant echos if your voice calling her name becoming harder to decipher, unable to even tell if it was yours anymore.

But it all comes flooding back when you say it. Memories of you laying your head in her lap, or whispering sweet words in her ear. It’s all coming back in the blink of an eye and she almost can’t handle it.

She breaths out your name as well, and it’s almost like a sigh of relief. Relieved that you remember her, and that she’s standing in front of you and seeing you in the flesh, and not in a dream.

Your eyebrows furrow as she stares down at you, and you make no move to let her in further.

“Why are you here?” You mumble softly, voice thick with defense. You have to protect yourself from her, you promised yourself you would the day she broke you, and you have every intention to keep that promise.

Ellie bites her lips gently before she clears her throat. “I um..I just needed a walk…I got in a few nights ago and uh..Joel told me you lived here now, so..” she trails off. You aren’t sure you’d ever seen Ellie be this fucking awkward. Despite the confidence that oozes from her current appearance, she seems small and nervous and it almost makes you laugh.

You don’t laugh.

You furrow your eyebrows further as you eye her before you roll your eyes, already fed up with the girls excuse. “Joel’s house is on the other side of town, Ellie. Don’t play it off as if you were just in the neighborhood..” you huff out. You can’t help but ice her out, because you’ve held animosity towards Ellie for the last five years. No matter how much you wanted to get over it and be the bigger person, you’re still pissed at her.

Ellie blinks her eyes quickly in shock. She isn’t used to this tone coming from you. Her memories of you were always so sweet, and warm. She knew you wouldn’t take shit from anyone, and it was something she always loved about you.

Just not when you wouldn’t take shit from her.

Her large hand comes up to awkwardly scratch the back of her neck. You feel your insides warm up because you catch a glimpse of the large tattoo that’s covering her hand.

Damn her for getting so fucking hot over the years.

“You got me there…didn’t come as a shock though. You always loved this house” she hummed softly as she looked up at the door, and then down at the pretty flowers that decorated your front yard. It was almost like you in house form.

You tug your bottom lip under your teeth as your eyes avert to your toes, silently cursing yourself because you smudged your pinky during all the excitement that came with seeing Ellie again. You aren’t sure if it’s a good thing, or a bad thing that she remembers little things like that about you.

You figure it’s a bad thing.

You inhale deeply, still staring down at your feet. It’s killing Ellie that you won’t even look at her, she can see the prominent little frown on your face even though you’re looking down. That stupid pout was always her weakness. It’s why she refused to look at you when she broke up with you the night before she flew out to Europe.

“I think it’s best you leave, Ellie…” you mumble softly, suddenly feeling small under the girls gaze. She hates it, because she at least got to stare into your pretty eyes when you were scolding her or being mean to her. But when you were like this….it made it feel worse than all of that.

She knew she deserved it. She knew that what you were now, what you had become, was a result of her own actions. She was the one that did this, she was the one that put you in the position to treat her this way, she knew that…

She just hoped it wouldn’t have been this bad.

She doesn’t say anything, and you take that as an answer enough. You’d rather not stand at your front door being stared at by your ex girlfriend, the only sound being that of the crickets in your garden and the rustling of tree branches in the wind. So, you let out a soft sigh and gently begin pushing your door close, because you can’t take it anymore. You can’t continue being close to her because it still hurts, and you hate that it still hurts after all of this time. It makes you feel pathetic and weak, and you don’t want to deal with it anymore.

But Ellie has other plans.

Her reflexes are just as fast as you remember, because her tattooed hand comes up quickly, palm pressed flat against your door to stop you from closing it on her. The sound of it makes your eyes snap up to hers, and a sense of pride spreads through her chest because she’s finally got your eyes back on her.

She inhales deeply, pink tongue poking out of her mouth as she licks her lips. She has to think fast, and she has to find a way to keep you here because she knows she’s losing you.

“Let me take you out” she blurts out, and it makes your eyes go wide. You used to want nothing more than this, than to have Ellie at your front door, asking you out on a date.

But now that it was happening, it made you feel sick.

You let out a soft sigh, shaking your head as you tried pushing the door further against the strength of her palm. “That’s not a good idea, Ellie…just…go home…” you mumble out tiredly. Ellie almost let’s out a whine because you’re slipping through her fingers again and it seems like everything she tries isn’t fucking working.

“Please.” She begs, and her tone makes you stop pushing. You stand there as she stares down at you, eyebrows knitted as she silently begs you to hear her out, to not shut her out like she did many years ago.

“Just…so we can talk about everything…and then I’ll…I’ll leave you alone. I promise” she breaths out. Her words are genuine, and although it’s been a long time, you know Ellie, and you know when she’s telling the truth and when she isn’t. Regardless of the fact that she doesn’t deserve it, you can’t help but stare up into those pools of emerald and give in to her, just like you always did.

You let out a gentle sigh before you give her a nod. “I…fine…meet me in town tomorrow morning. Your dad has my-“ she cuts you off before you can even go any further.

“Has your number, I know.” She chuckles softly, hoping that she’s able to lighten the mood even a little bit. But you don’t budge, your words are stern and your brows are furrowed as you stare up at her, determined to let her know that this is simply one conversation she’ll be having with you, and not a sign of getting back into your life.

You give her a firm nod before you look out into the dark abyss that was your neighborhood. Where you lived was relatively safe, but you couldn’t shake the uneasy feeling you had when thinking about the girl walking home by herself so late, and so far.

“Do you need me to call him for you? I’m sure he’d come pick you up…so you don’t have to walk all the way back” you mumble out softly. Her lips tug into a smile as she watches you, her stomach fluttering with those stupid butterflies you never failed to give her, because the mere fact that you’re worried about her getting home is giving her hope that she can reverse all the bullshit she put you through, completely disregarding the fact that it could one hundred percent be you just being a good person.

“Nah, I’ve got it from here. I’m a big girl…you get some rest though. I’ll see you in the morning” she hums out, and you swear for a moment your transported back to Ellie dropping you off at your house after a date. She’d always whisper the sweetest things to you after giving you an even sweet kiss, and all though her appearance had changed since then, she still had the power of making you swoon every time she bid you a good night.

You opened your mouth to respond, but no words came out. You quickly closed them in fear of saying something stupid before you gave her a quick nod. “Night, Ellie…” you manage to mumble softly, and she gives you her signature charming smile before she jogs off the steps of your porch, and onto the sidewalk that would leave her home, a noticeable pep in her step as she left.

You watch her at your door until she’s out of view, quickly slamming your door shut and letting out a loud huff, your back pressed against the door as you try to recollect yourself and process everything that had just happened.

You stay for a moment longer before you lock your door, close all of your windows and rush upstairs to get to bed, just like Ellie had told you to.

The next morning was not pleasant.

It was one of those days where you hated every single article of clothing that you owned. Every dress was either too long or too tight, all of your tops were either too big or too small, and every pair of jeans just didn’t go with what you had in mind.

Different articles of clothing covered almost your entire bedroom floor, with no stop in sight as you continued to throw shirts and socks behind you from your closet. You let out a loud huff before you fell backwards onto your bed, your hand holding onto the point at which the towel around your body folded so that it would stay closed.

You had been on your fair share of dates since Ellie. A few when you lived in the city, some while you were back home, all of which were fun and things that you looked forward to, none of which making you feel the way you felt while getting ready for this one.

And calling it a date was a complete stretch. All Ellie asked, was to meet over coffee. More than likely so that she could explain herself and give you the closure she assumed you deserved after five years, so that she’d be able to get any guilt she had for leaving you off of her chest.

But still, you were fucking nervous, and you couldn’t ignore the fact that you wanted to make a good impression. You even grabbed your phone a few times, opening your messages with Joel and typing out a pathetic excuse to him explaining that you had work to do, or you had an errand to run and to tell Ellie you wouldn’t be able to make it.

You didn’t, though. You sucked it up, got your ass of of your bed and took a deep breath in before you went back into your closet, determined to find something decent to wear.

After another thirty minutes of rummaging through your closet, you settled on your favorite pair of blue jeans, a white corset style top that had little lace trimming on the ends, and your favorite pair of sneakers just to be comfy.

The early morning sun beaming down on your exposed shoulders was enough to bring you back to earth, giving you a moment to collect yourself before you saw Ellie again. It was truly all out of a dream, or a nightmare, or a really bizarre situation that you didn’t foresee happening at all for yourself.

Ellie was back, and she made her way to your house to ask you out on a…whatever it was you were currently walking into, and you had no idea what would come of any of this or why you even said yes in the first place.

But one thing you knew to stand true, was that you were still hurt, and you weren’t going to let her off easy.

Once you got into town, you gave a few familiar faces a small wave paired with a sweet smile, one of your hands clutching the strap to your bag as you searched for a small bench to sit on while you waited for Ellie, You settled on one underneath a shady tree.

Ellie feels like her heart stops when she gets out of her dads car and spots you. You’ve always been pretty, Ellie would think about your features and try her best to burn them into her memory after she left because you were always the prettiest girl Ellie had ever seen.

But now…god, now you were ethereal. Your face hadn’t changed much, your hair was a bit shorter and it framed your face a bit more, but you had become a woman. You’d grown up, and you had this overwhelming glow to you that made it hard to look away.

And as you sat there, summer breeze blowing through your pretty hair, the rays of the sun casting down onto your beautiful skin, making it look like you were practically sparkling, in the prettiest little top, you looked like a fucking dream come true. Like every persons fantasy come to life.

And it reminded Ellie of what she chased away, of all that she could have had, but couldn’t since she made her bed and was now forced to lay in it.

She almost wanted to get back into the car and run again, run away from you and the feelings you gave her. She knew this was all a long shot to begin with, and that it wasn’t a guarantee of anything, but knowing that she at least at the opportunity to stare into your eyes for a few moments longer, and create more memories with you that were hers and hers only to keep, it made her weak in the knees, and it made her heart beat faster.

And no matter how long she had with you, it was worth it.

Her feet were carrying her towards you before she could even comprehend that she was doing so, like gravity pulling her closer and closer to her life line. It was like she couldn’t breath properly for five years, a strange weight settling in on her chest every time she was alone and had time to think about things.

One that she no longer felt when she was with you.

Her footsteps crunching against the grass make you look up, and it’s almost enough to make Ellie run. Your eyes are so pretty, and she feels like she can get lost in them for hours at a time.

She misses when your face would light up when you saw her, the way your eyes would sparkle and your plump lips would tug into a shy little smile. Now, all she sees when you look at her is sadness, and pain that she’s caused, and it’s killing her because you don’t trust her anymore, and anyone could see that.

You inhale deeply as you stand up, your hand toying with the strap of your bag as you awkwardly stand in front of her. “Hey…” you mumble softly, and you want to die because you should have said no. You should have told Ellie this wasn’t a good idea and that you didn’t want to see her because you’d rather have not done this just to avoid how fucking awkward the entire ordeal is.

And it hurts to know that this is what you’ve become. The person you regarded as one of your favorites for so long had become a complete stranger. Ellie had lived a life for five years without you in it, and you her, and you feel like there’s no use in even speaking to her anymore because you don’t know her, and she doesn’t know you.

Ellie licks her lips as she watches you, her hands balling up into firsts before she shakes them away, trying to shake away the urge she has to reach out and grab you. That’s the hardest part for her, seeing the girl that she’s wanted for the last five years standing right in front of her, and not being able to grab you and wrap you up in her arms.

She clears her throat, looking around a bit at all of the little shops and stores that are currently opening up. Her hands are stuffed in her pocket as she nods towards them. “Any of these places good?” She questions, and you blink a few times before you nod, pointing towards your favorite coffee shop. She smiles softly when she spots the place, because of course your favorite coffee shop is the most adorable one in town.

Soon, you’re both sitting in a tiny booth tucked away in the corner of the empty coffee shop. Ellie insisted she buy both of your drinks, as much as it bothered you to stand next to her and let her pay for your things, you let her because you didn’t want an argument.

Ellie feels like none of this is even real, because you’re sitting across from her and the sun is hitting your skin in the most beautiful way, and your plump lips are sparkling as they wrap around the straw of your drink, and she’s staring, she knows she’s staring but she can’t help herself. You’re a fucking dream to her, and you always will be.

She blinks a few times before she clears her throat, her large hand cupping her white mug. “So, uh…how have you been?” She questions, her voice nervous and unsure of what exactly to ask you.

You scoff gently, your eyes rolling before you speak up. “Seriously Ellie? How have I been? I don’t see it hear from you for five years and we sit down to talk and that’s what you ask me?” You question in disbelief as you stare at her as if she’s stupid. She groans softly, her strong, veiny hands coming up and rubbing her face harshly before she sighs.

“Fuck. Fuck, I know. I’m nervous, okay? It’s been a long time and…I know this is probably really fucking weird for you but..” she sighs softly, worried that if she keeps going she’ll fuck things up with you even further than she already has. She inhales deeply before exhaling, trying her best to gather her words before she tries again.

“I just…you deserve an apology, a real apology and not some bullshit excuse for one. It’s the least I can do” she pleads genuinely, her eyes searching for any sign of getting through to you.

You sigh softly, your fingers toying with the little raised designs on your glass as you avoid Ellie’s eyes. “Was it at least worth it?” You mumble softly, your voice sad and small.

Ellie feels like she’ll break right then and there.

The guilt she’s felt every day since she left you is no match to what she feels when she hears your words. It’s eating away at her, and it’s making it feel like there a weight sitting on her chest that she can’t get rid of no matter what.

She can’t even find the words to explain to you that none of it was worth it. She sabotaged every relationship she made in college because those girls weren’t you, and she was aggravated with them for not being you and that made things even worse. She missed you every single day, and she wanted nothing more than to come home to you after it all.

Ellie inhales deeply, a deep frown painting her face before she sighs. “I think you and I both know the answer to that…” she mumbles out, because she’s too ashamed to admit to you that it wasn’t at all worth it, and that she was wrong.

You hum softly, giving a slight nod as your finger dances along the rim of your glass. “Joel always wants to brag about how great you’ve done…stops himself so I won’t get sad” you chuckle dryly. Ellie sighs softly, knowing her father all too well, and knowing that he took the chance to brag about her whenever he could.

She opens her mouth to apologize for it, but you cut her off.

“I don’t fault you for what you did Ellie…I thought I did, for a long time..” you breath out, pausing for a moment before you start again, giving her a weak shrug. “I just wished you weren’t…so harsh about it…I don’t mean to make you feel bad but it really fucked me up for a while” you admit, trying your best to convey to her that she hurt you, and that it wasn’t okay.

Ellie licks her lips as she listens to you, eyes never leaving your face regardless of the fact that you refuse to look at her. She adjusts herself a bit so she’s leaning forward, wanting to be as close to you as possible before she speaks. “You have…every right to be upset with me. I thought it was a good idea, and doing it as cold as possible just seemed right for us…we were so attached to each other…I got scared that we wouldn’t make it on our own” she sighs out. She’s rambling at this point, and she can’t stop.

“But fuck, I was so fucking young, we were so fucking young. I was barely eighteen and I was traveling across the world to live on my own and…and I was nervous and scared and I…I just felt like since I was getting the one thing I’d wanted for so long, I didn’t deserve to have you too” her voice is tired, and her throat and mouth is getting dry as she goes on and on and it’s making her voice hoarse, but she can’t stop because this is her one chance to explain everything to you.

You finally look up at her from your glass, a soft pout on your lips as you think back to it all. Ellie never felt like she deserved things. Her supportive father, leaving the town she was born in, you, she felt like those good things weren’t meant to be hers. From the moment you met her, you promised her that she did deserve those things, and that she deserved every good thing the world had to offer.

But Ellie always begged to differ.

You hummed softly, nodding in understanding as you stared into her eyes. “It happened, Ellie. You and I can’t change the past. You have your life in the city, and I have mine here..” you nodded slowly, sighing softly as you look out the window.

“I’m happy you came back, and I’m happy we spoke. Joel misses you a lot you know…you should visit him more often” you smile softly as you watched her before you sighed, reaching into your purse and grabbing a few dollars from it. You count it out quickly before you place it on the table. “Here, this should cover mine..” you nod to yourself before you adjust your bag onto your shoulder and slide out of the bouncy booth seat to leave.

Ellie begins to panic as she watches you get ready to leave, because this is her first time seeing you in five years and there’s no way it’s ending so quickly. She needs more time with you, she needs to look at you longer, she needs to hear more about what you’ve been up to.

“You’re leaving already?” She interrupts, she sounds disappointed. You raise your eyebrows as you look back at her before you give her a slight shrug. “We talked, you explained yourself, I listened. That’s all there is too it, right?” You mumble nonchalantly. She’s already on her feet, grabbing the cash you put on the table and pushing it in your direction.

You giggle softly, pressing your palm against her hand and pushing it towards her body. She feels like she might faint because not only is it the first time she’s hearing your sweet giggle in five years, but your soft hand is touching hers. She can feel herself sweating from the small interaction alone.

“I’m not mad at you anymore Ellie…any guilt you have is gone now…” you nod slowly before giving her a half smile. “Have fun with your dad, okay? It was nice seeing you” you finish, giving her a small wave before turning around and walking towards the door of the coffee shop to leave.

Ellie stands in her spot for a moment, frozen as she stares down at her hand, the one you just touched. She blinks out of her trance and rushes out of the shop, chasing after you as you make your way down the side walk. When she catches up to you, she’s breathing heavily. Your eyes widen as you turn around and catch sight of the talk girl standing in front of you.

“Lemme give you a ride home” she blurts out, causing you to furrow your eyebrows a bit as you watch her. You watch her for a moment, not saying a word, because despite everything, and despite the fact that you gave Ellie a chance to explain herself, you’re still weary of her, and you’d still prefer to keep her out of your life.

But, in typical Ellie fashion, she has other plans.

Knowing she won’t take no for an answer, you eye her for a moment longer before sighing softly and giving her a slight nod. You figure the sun is extremely warm today anyways, and the walk would have you dripping in sweat by the time you made it home anyways.

The drive home reminds you of when you and Ellie were dating.

You loved watching Ellie when she drove. Her strong hand loosely gripping the steering wheel, her other draped over her own thigh (her favorite spot used to be your thigh), tongue poking past her pink lips as she concentrated on the road, her favorite song playing on the radio, wind blowing through her pretty brown hair.

It was extremely fucking hard to not gawk at her the whole way home.

She struggled too. You looked so pretty sitting next to her, her little passenger princess. Ellie loved doing things for you, she loved feeling needed by you. Providing for you was one thing that made her feel like the best possible girlfriend she could ever be to you.

And even now, when you wouldn’t even utter a single syllable to her in the passenger seat of her dads car, she still felt her chest warm up at the fact that she was driving you home.

The car came to a slow stop once she pulled up to your house, parking in the empty drive way as she turned the car off. She hums softly, her hands falling to rest on her spread thighs as she stares at your house.

You clear your throat a bit before your grab your bag off of your lap, pulling the strap onto your shoulder before you open the door for yourself and give her a small smile. “Thanks Ellie…” you breath you. She gives you a slight nod paired with a smile as she watches you.

But you don’t move.

You know you shouldn’t, but you truly can’t stop yourself from speaking the words that are hanging off your tongue. You inhale deeply before you blurt out “do you…wanna come inside? It’s just so hot and I can get you something to drink before you leave-“ Ellie’s eyes go wide as she hears your words, and before you have time to finish, she cuts you off.

“Yes!” She slightly shouts, causing you to flinch. She clears her throat, quickly giving you a nod as she tries to compose herself. “I mean…yeah…yeah sure I’ll come in. M’not doing anything today..” she breaths out almost sheepishly as she watches you with love sick eyes.

You stifle a laugh as you nod, getting out of the car and walking down the little flowered path that leads to your home. Anxiety fills up your chest because Ellie is standing behind you as you open your door for you both, and you can’t properly count how many times you’ve truly imagined this, but it’s finally happening and you’re losing your mind.

When you finally manage to open the door, Ellie almost falls to her knees because your home is every thing she imagined it would be. It’s filled with all the little things that make you, you. She can even spot a few things that you had when you were younger, and it makes her wonder if you have anything from her still.

You lead her to your living room, letting her know that she can make herself at home before you go into the kitchen. You pour her a big glass of peach sweet tea with ice before you bring it back to her.

Her eyes light up when she spots the drink, and instantly takes it. “Shit, you still make this? My dad talks about it all the time” she rushes out before she takes a large gulp, the girl almost finishing half the glass. You giggle softly as you watch her, humming as you give her a gentle shrug. “It’s a good recipe..can’t let those go, you know?”

Your words can be applied to something else, you both know it.

She sighs softly as she sets the glass down. You raise your eyebrows when you see some of the drink running down her chin. “You’ve got a little…just…uh” you mumble softly as you bend down a bit, bringing your thumb to her chin and swiping it off.

It’s your first time being this close to her, and she feels like the world has stopped right then and there.

Her big green eyes are staring down at you as you wipe the tea off her face, and she clears her throat to hold back any groaning that she’ll do since you’re this close. The noise is what snaps you out of it, and you quickly move away from her, mumbling a quick apology.

Ellie blinks a few times, her cheeks red as she tries to compose herself for a moment. She inhales deeply, opening her mouth to apologize herself before you speak up. “I’ll just…take the glass so you can be on your way..” you mumble softly, reaching down and trying to take the glass.

A loud clap of thunder makes you flinch, a small gasp leaving your lips as you look outside. The heat from earlier has brought in a thick blanket of dark grey clouds that have covered the entire sky. Lightning flashes across the sky before another clap of thunder rumbles through your home, causing Ellie to groan as she stands up.

“Fuck…that one’s gonna be bad…I better get going before it-“ she’s cut off by the harsh sound of the sudden rain fall slamming onto the ground outside, causing her to sigh loudly.

The rain is hard, and heavy, and extremely unforgiving. You’re both staring outside your window as you watch the storm force everything outside to go blurry with the white cast that the heavy water droplets bring.

“You’re not driving in that” you say sternly, quickly moving towards your windows and making sure they’re all shut so that nothing will get wet. Ellie raises her eyebrows as she watches you, knowing all too well that she’d want nothing more than to stay, and the fact that you’re insisting makes her heart flutter with joy.

“It’s not that bad…I wouldn’t want to intrude or anything..” she mumbles softly as she walks towards your other window to make sure they’re closed as well. You watch her from the corner of your eye before you quickly shake your head. “And I wouldn’t want you getting in a car accident. You can leave once it lets up a bit” you nod to yourself, not giving the girl any room for argument.

Ellie bites back a smile as she nods, trying not to get too ahead of herself.

The storm lasts longer than expected.

What usually is a short summer shower turned out to be a full blown storm that lasted well past sundown. You and Ellie got past the awkward silence that came with her staying over longer much quicker than expected.

You were both sitting on the floor of your living room, Monopoly splayed out between the both of you as you cheated Ellie of her money for the third time that game. Ellie groaned loudly, counting out the few rainbow colored bills before she threw them onto the floor.

“You fucking got me again. I’m broke, I can’t afford anymore property” she grumbles out. You giggle softly, repositioning your countless cards and bills as you shrug. “Shouldn’t have let me be banker then” you hum softly. Ellie smirks softly as her eyes watch you, her heart swelling with how fucking domestic this all felt.

She’d let you rip her heart out of her body if you wanted. Whatever you wanted, she’d give it to you.

You rested your chin on your knee as you stared at the board for a moment before looking over at her. “You always sucked at this game” your words are soft as you think back to the countless nights you’d stay up together playing cheesy board games together. You loved seeing her brows furrow in frustration every time you miraculously beat her once again, adding to your winning streak.

She smiled softly as she nodded, her eyes never leaving yours as she hummed. “You’re just too fucking good” she chuckles softly. Her words make your insides twist with delight, and you know you can’t look at her. Because she’s most definitely doing that stupid smirk that makes you burn from the inside out, and it makes you want to leap over this stupid board game and tackle her stupidly pretty face.

She notices your lack of a response, she takes it as an opportunity.

“I really miss you, blossom..” the nickname is one you haven’t heard in years. It was Ellie’s, and Ellie’s only. She came up with it soon after she had first met you, said it’s cause you reminded her of the prettiest spring flower she’d ever seen.

It makes you pause, stopping dead in your tracks as you began packing away the board game. Ellie knows she’s done it now, but she keeps going.

“And I know I don’t deserve it, but if you can just-“ your words cut off hers, because her voice is pleading and it almost sounds like she’s fucking begging you to hear her out.

“Ellie.” You warn her. She inhales deeply, pushing the board aside to move closer towards you. Her movements are slow, because she wants to give you the opportunity to stop her if you need to.

“Please…just…” she sighs out, her voice thick with a need for you as she places her long, veiny fingers under your chin, tilting it up slightly to force you to look into her eyes. When you do, you feel the air is knocked out of your chest. Her gaze is heavy and intense and she’s so fucking close. Her other hand comes down, pushing your knees apart so that she can make her way between the space of your legs.

“I know I haven’t been around, and I know what I did was wrong but just….please give me a chance to fix it…just one…I promise I won’t fuck this up..” she breaths out. She’s so close that you can feel her breath wafting against your lips. It makes you whine softly, and it makes her feel like she can’t fucking control herself.

Your eyes dart back and forth between her lips and her eyes. Your head is so clouded with her, she’s filling you up to the brim and..

And you don’t want it to stop.

You stare up into her eyes, your own big and needy before you give her a soft nod. It’s all she needs to cup your face with both of her big hands, and kiss you passionately.

You moan softly into her mouth, your hand coming up and gripping her tattooed wrist as she dominates the kiss. Memories from your past with her comes flooding in, because her lips feel exactly like you remember, her so different.

You can tell how much older she is now, how much older you both are. Kisses that were once sweet and innocent are no passionate and heavy. Her need for you is practically pouring into your mouth as she kisses you, it’s sloppy and needy and she uses any opportunity to slip her tongue into your mouth.

You gasp softly against her, and that’s when she does it. Her tongue is swirling around your mouth, wanting to explore every crevice of you so that she can remember it for the rest of her life. She’s crawling into you, pushing you back so that your back hits the edge of your couch.

“Ellie…” you moan out softly, your hands coming down to tug at her t shirt as you kiss her harder. The sound of your voice drives her further to do more for you. She nods gently as she brings her hand down to undo the clasps of your top. “I’m right here baby…I’m right here…” she sighs out as she begins removing your clothes.

You whine softly, because soon enough you’re nearly bare in front of her. You’re only in a pair of your cotton panties and you can’t help but bring your arms up to shield your chest from her. She frowns softly as she looks down at you, gently pulling your arms away as she leans in to press a loving kiss to your lips. “Don’t hide from me princess…it’s just me..” she hums softly against your lips.

And you know it’s just Ellie, but it’s hard because she’s not you’re Ellie anymore. She hasn’t been your Ellie for five years and it makes it feel like you’re bare in front of a stranger, all while being bare in front of the person you’ve wanted for such a long time, the person you’ve yearned for. It makes your head spin, and it makes it hard to breath and focus on Ellie’s lips on yours.

She knows it, because you’re struggling to kiss her back. She pulls back gently, bringing her hand up to tuck a strand of hair behind your ear. “You with me baby? You need me to stop?” She questions genuinely, her eyes searching yours for any sign of reassurance that you may need as her other hand strokes your arm gently.

You bite your lip as you stare up at her, and you know that if you open your mouth and speak, you’ll break down. You know that if you give in and tell her what’s on your mind, you’ll dig yourself in a deeper hole than you already are in.

Instead, you simply remove your hands from your chest and grab Ellie, pulling her closer and smashing your lips against hers in a needy kiss.

She knows better, she knows something is going on inside your mind. She knows that she needs to go further and make sure you’re okay, but she can’t ignore how good you feel against her, and how long she’s wanted you in this exact position.

She groans softly against your lips as one of her hands travels down to your body. Her skilled fingers pull and tug at your nipple between her fingers, causing you to moan into her mouth before she continues to travel down your body. Her hand finds it’s way between your legs, and she hisses the second she cups your clothes pussy.

“Fuck…so fuckin’ wet for me…you poor thing…” she groans softly. You moan softly as you break the kiss, looking down at the sinful sight that is her hand between your legs, rolling small circles onto your clit. She groans softly, her other hand grabbing your chin as she angles your face up and chases your lips. “Nah uh…need you here baby, need that pretty mouth while I’m playing with your pussy, got it?” She mumbles out, her voice hoarse. Her dominant tone makes your pussy ache, and you nod obediently as you let her back in, kissing her hungrily.

She hums softly as she continues kissing you as she rubs your clit, your slick covering the entire front of your panties. Ellie smirks softly as she finally breaks the kiss, needy to see the mess you’ve made, the mess you’ve made for her. She groans softly as she pulls your panties to the side, hissing softly as she rubs your bare clit a few times before she slips two fingers into you.

“Look at that…so fucking pretty…Jesus Christ…” she whispers out as she stares at your sopping pussy. You moan loudly once her fingers slip into you, your eyes rolling back as your head hits the edge of your couch.

“F-fuck Ellie…right there…fingers feel so..mmm…so good” you moan loudly for her, your back arching up off the edge of the couch as you wiggle and squirm beneath her. Ellie marvels at your body like it’s a work of art, groaning softly as her long fingers fuck up into your weeping cunt.

“Wish you could see yourself, Angel…prettiest fucking girl I’ve ever seen” she groans out as she stares down at your body, her other hand coming up and caressing your body before she cups your boob, giving it a firm squeeze before she moves down to catch your nipple into her mouth, swirling it around her tongue before sucking harshly on your skin.

You cry out for her, your body feeling extremely sensitive as she works on you. She makes sure to not leave any part of you without attention. You moan softly as you look down at her, your swollen bottom lip tugged between your teeth as you tug at her hair, your eyes low, hazy and lust filled as you whine for her.

“M’so close Els…mm…fuck…I can’t fucking…ahh” you cry out, already so fucked out you’re barely able to finish your sentences properly. She smirks softly against your skin before releasing your nipple with a pop, giving you an urging nod as she stares into your eyes. “Come on baby, give it to me…let it out for me, that’s it…” she groans out as she stares at you.

You whine softly as you stare into her eyes. It’s so intense, and it feels like so much more than her just fucking you with her fingers. It’s heavy, and it feels like your missing half is finally back with you after so long.

You’re moaning and whimpering and huffing for her as she works on your pussy, her fingers toying with you as if she knew you like the back of her hand. You want to hold on longer, and make this moment as long lasting as possible. Your eyes squeeze shut as you moan out for her loudly, your back arching almost painfully as you cum hard all over her fingers, moaning her name like a mantra.

Ellie feels like she’s seeing fireworks. She stares at you in awe as you come undone beneath her. It’s the most beautiful thing she’s ever seen, it’s raw and real and it’s you, and she wants to burn it into her memory for the rest of her days.

“That’s it…that’s my good fucking girl…Jesus Christ you’re so fucking beautiful…fuck…” she groans out, and you’d swear she was the one who just came the hardest she’s ever had in her entire life.

Her praises make you whimper as you come down from your orgasm, whining softly as her fingers slow down and slip out of your sore pussy. She leans down, pressing a soft kiss to your lips. You’re so fucked out, that you hardly realize you’re being lifted off the ground and up into Ellie’s arms.

You hum softly as you nestle your face into Ellie’s neck as she gently rests you on your bed, pressing a soft kiss to your head. “I’ll be right back baby…okay?” She mumbles softly as she pushes the hair on your face back. You mumble a quiet response to her as you cuddle into your soft sheets, your bare body cold in the open air of your room.

Ellie returns with a rag from your bathroom with warm water, and she smiles softly at you. Seeing you cuddled up on the bed warms her heart, and she feels like she’s falling in love with you all over again.

She gently pushed your thighs apart, cleaning you up as gently as possible. You don’t seem to mind much, the sound of the rain against your window is enough to lull you into a gentle sleep, which makes her chuckle softly as she leaves the room and tosses the rag into your hamper.

She quickly finds a t shirt for you to wear, slipping it over your body before she tucks you into bed, smiling softly when you cuddle into your pillow almost immediately. Ellie quietly pulls her jeans off, leaving her only in her t shirt and her boxers before she crawls into bed right next to you. She pulls you close by your waist, humming as she pressed her nose into your hair and inhales deeply, the scent of you making her mind floor with memories of you and her in the past.

She sighs softly, her eyes looking towards the window as the harsh rain continued pelting down onto your window before her own eyes closed, her fingers drawing small shapes into your skin as she held you close against your chest.

And as you drifted off into a deep sleep with each passing moment, all you could think about was Ellie, and how much pain she had caused you in the past.

And how much harder it would be to get over it than you thought.

[alltheirdamn]

Killing Me Softly | (Joel x teacher!f!reader)

Chap. 3: Violent Delights

Chp. 3 Summary: Every ounce of your resolve fades away as Joel finds his way past your walls. Rating: 18+ MDNI Word Count: 8.5k Warnings: pre-outbreak AU, language, mutual pining, slow burn, angst, banter, sexual tension, heavy kissing, cliff hanger (sorrrrryyyyy) A/N: This one may or may not kill you guys... sorry in advance & please don't hate me. I'll make it up to you <3

Masterlist | Ko-Fi

As Boston came into view from the window of the plane, your anxiety began to skyrocket. Exam week flew by, and now it was finally fall break. You had spent half a day scrambling around the house trying to pack while planning when to call a taxi so that you wouldn’t miss your flight. Putting the stress aside, you had made it in time and found yourself trying to ease your mind with a stupid romance book on the flight. You weren’t huge on reading romance, but it was mindless and passed the time as you soared over the states. 

Joel never reached out after he sent himself your number. You didn’t reach out either, which took a lot of self-restraint. You commended him for having just as much restraint because you were sure he’d cave and call you at some point. But the silence was blaring loud, and maybe he only wanted your number ‘just in case.’ You wouldn’t get your hopes up anymore.

You were coming down the escalator when your mom and two sisters came into view. Stella, your youngest sister, was the first to run and wrap you up in a big hug. Her black hair was chopped shorter than before, and she had a bright smile plastered on her face.

“Sis!” She squealed, squeezing your shoulders.

“Hi, Stell,” you laughed, hugging her tight.

“Look who’s home at last,” Beth said, her arms crossed over her chest as she watched Stella swing you back and forth.

Beth was younger than you by two years, while Stella was newly eighteen and still full of life. You and Beth hadn’t been very close since you left Boston, the bitterness of your absence still lingering between you both. 

“Hey, Beth,” you sighed, opening your arms to invite her into a hug.

She was hesitant at first but finally caved and hugged you back. It was brief, but you’d settle for it. Your mom was the next in line to hug you, her voice shaky as she welcomed you home.

“Don’t cry, Mom,” you laughed, pulling away.

“I’m just happy you’re finally home. We missed you a lot.”

She took your luggage and guided you through the airport down to the parking garage. Stella lingered close, wanting to hear about your life in Austin and how teaching was going. Beth, on the other hand, hung back and kept quiet. You knew things would implode at some point during the week, but until then, you’d just have to acknowledge the ticking time bomb in the background.

“Where’s dad?” You asked your mom, climbing into the front seat.

“He’s home grilling up some steaks for dinner. He hasn’t stopped talking about you coming home since you booked the flight. He’s missed you the most,” she sighed.

“I missed him too,” you muttered.

It wasn’t lost on you that leaving had caused a gaping hole in your relationship with your entire family. Even if they weren’t the biggest fans of Bennett, they continued to support you through your decisions to move with him and uproot your life. After he left, they begged you to come home, but you knew staying in Austin was what felt right. You had a job and a home; leaving was admitting defeat. You wouldn’t let him strip away the life you had made; you wouldn’t let yourself be a failure. 

The city blurred by as you neared your childhood home. You kept your eyes closed when you passed down the roads Bennett had once driven you, hoping you could force the memories away. But they still lingered. The past always seemed to linger. Stella and Beth chatted quietly in the backseat, leaving you in silence as the house appeared. Nothing had changed: the white brick chipping around the edges, the hedges in the front yard overgrown and unruly. You expected to feel at home, seeing the house again, but it didn’t feel like it once had. 

As you unpacked the trunk and hauled your luggage inside, you heard your dad’s voice floating from the back deck.

“Is that my girl?” He called out, walking through the sliding doors with his grilling tools in hand. 

“It is,” you smiled, dropping your things at the door.

“Hey there, peanut,” he greeted, awkwardly hugging you as his hands were full.

“Hey, Dad,” you whispered.

“Missed you, kid. How was the flight?” 

You trailed him out onto the deck, the smell of smoke mixing with the autumn breeze as it passed through the trees lining the backyard. You had missed seeing the seasons change, the yellowing of the leaves, and the crisp air that seemed to linger throughout the day. Nothing would beat the East Coast in the fall, even if you liked living in Texas now.

“The flight wasn’t bad,” you shrugged, sinking into a lawn chair as you watched him flip the steaks. “I don’t know why four hours in the air felt so long.”

“You know, you could avoid it if you moved back home,” he suggested.

“I like living in Austin,” you argued. “I have a good job, and I’m happy there.”

“I didn’t say you weren’t happy. All I’m saying is that you can always come home.”

You remember him saying the exact same thing after the wedding ceremony went to shit. Two days after the incident, your dad was consoling you on the couch, holding you as you cried and urging you to come home. You can always come home, peanut. 

“I know I can, Dad. Can we please just drop it?”

Your dad chuckled and made a pact with you not to repeat it. You only hoped your mom and sisters would do the same.

Dinner passed under a heavy silence. No one knew how to speak to you without possibly mentioning Bennett… or ‘the incident’ as they liked to refer to it. You awkwardly made small talk between your parents and Stella while Beth sat and pushed her food around. You stole glances at her ever so often, trying to form a plan when you could talk to her. Out of everyone in the family, your absence hurt her the most. She had been the most vocal about your issues with Bennett, which was to your detriment since you had confided in her the most. She gave the harsh truths and tough love, going so far as to try and talk you out of the engagement. In your love-struck haze, you hadn’t listened to her and found yourself defending Bennett—defending your emotions. You wished you had listened to her. 

“So,” your mom started. “Any new love interests?”

You gave her a pointed stare, stabbing the steak on your plate. This was the last thing you wanted: explaining yourself to them. 

“No, Mom. There’s no one to speak of,” you huffed.

“C’mon mom,” Beth laughed, chiming in. “You know she’s still wallowing away in that big house all alone.”

“Beth,” your dad warned. At the same time, Stella whispered, “Beth, don’t.”

“No, it’s okay.” You smiled through your teeth, glaring at Beth, who sat back in her seat with a smug expression.

“You did this to yourself, you know?” Beth said, cocking an eyebrow.

“Did what?” You questioned.

“We all warned you about Bennett. You knew he was no good, yet you stayed. And look! He left you.”

Her words cut deep, deeper than you wanted to admit. You kept your expression stony, not feeding into her words.

“Beth, you need to stop right now,” your mom nearly growled. “You’re out of line.”

“Let her talk, Mom,” you said. “She needs to get it out.”

“Oh, I need to get it out?” Beth snapped. “You’re the one fucking sulking about Austin, pulling this whole ‘woe is me’ bullshit. The signs were all there! Get over yourself. It’s been two years, sis. Move on.”

“Just because we don’t talk doesn’t mean I haven’t moved on,” you exhaled. “I’m still healing from it all, and I’m sorry I’m not including you in that. I didn’t know you needed access to every part of my life.”

Beth slapped her hands on the table, rising to her feet to stare down at you over the plates of food. You shrunk back, trying to keep the tears at bay. She was going in for the final blow. 

“You came to me for advice, and I gave it. You went ahead with the engagement and still ended up alone. He was never going to marry you. You’re a fucking mouse too afraid to defend yourself, and he knew you wouldn’t fight for him back. He’s probably glad he didn’t marry someone as stupid as you. You can’t see the warning signs even when they’re flashing in your face!”

That was it. That was the breaking point. 

You tossed your napkin onto your plate and removed yourself from the table. You drowned out your parents' voices and Stella’s yelling for you to come back as you ran towards the door. 

“Run!” Beth called from behind you. “Run like Bennett did!”

You barely made it out the front door before crumpling to the ground with tears streaming down your face. Staying with Bennett didn’t just hurt you; it hurt everyone. They wanted the best for you, and you didn’t see that until it was too late. Your relationship with Beth had been shattered because you had thrown all the blame on her. You blamed her for every traitorous thought you had about Bennett; you wanted to blame her for your doubts and unhappiness. But it wasn’t her. It was you. Everything was your fault—it always was.

Stella’s small voice saying your name roused you from your crying as she joined you on the porch. Wrapping her arms around your shoulders, she leaned into you and let you cry out every bottled-up emotion. 

“I’m sorry, Stell,” you sobbed. “I’m sorry I didn’t listen to you guys. I’m sorry I left. I’m sorry I never came home.”

“Shhh,” she hushed. “No one is mad at you for staying in Austin. We understand why you stayed. Beth is just hurt. You shut everyone out, but you shut her out the most. She just misses you.”

“All I do is fuck everything up,” you muttered. 

“No, stop that,” she argued, rubbing a hand over your back. “None of what happened is your fault. You deserved love, and he wasn’t the right one. You’ll find it again.”

“I stayed for too long. I should have left him long before the wedding. I was just hoping it would fix everything.”

“How were you to know?” She sighed. “Just because he was shitty doesn’t mean you can’t be sad. What he did was totally fucked up, and you didn’t deserve that.”

“Tell Beth that,” you laughed through a hiccup. “She thinks I deserved it.”

“She’s hurt. She doesn’t mean those things.”

“But she’s not wrong.”

Stella sighed, pulling away from you to level you with a sympathetic look. 

“I think you guys need to talk it out. Maybe not right now, but when you’re ready,” she offered.

“You’re the young one,” you groaned. “You shouldn’t be consoling your older sister like this.”

“Hey, someone’s gotta be nice to you,” she smiled, quietly laughing.

“Thank you,” you whimpered.

You fell back into her arms and stared aimlessly at the trees blowing in the wind. After a few quiet moments, you finally pulled yourself together and shuffled out of her arms. Stella watched you wearily as you stood, brushing the dirt from your pants.

“I think I’m gonna go for a walk to clear my head,” you announced. “Tell Mom and Dad I'll come back in a few.”

“Are you sure?” She asked.

“I’ll be okay, Stell. I promise. Thank you again,” you sighed, kissing her head.

Dusk fell over the neighborhood as you wandered between the trees and houses. A few neighbors walked their dogs while their kids ran through the streets playing ball or riding their bikes. You never wanted to be out and interacting at home, but you didn’t mind it here. There was no risk. No one would stop you and inquire about your life like they would at home.

As you rounded down the next street, your phone started ringing in your back pocket. You whipped it out and saw the one name you had been waiting for the last week: Joel. Part of you didn’t want to answer; you weren’t in the right headspace. But you had waited to hear from him, and honestly, he was probably the only person to sway your mood for the better. Sucking in a breath, you answered.

“Hello?” You said, hoping your voice didn’t betray you.

“I got a bone to pick with you,” Joel huffed, clearly joking.

But after the events of dinner, his words felt like another punch to the gut.

“Why?” You asked nervously, pulling the phone away to sniffle back more tears.

“I finished Romeo and Juliet, and I—. Wait, are you alright? Why does it sound like you’ve been cryin’?”

You let out a sad laugh; of course, he’d see right through you. He always managed to do that.

“Because I have been,” you sighed. There was no point in lying to him when you knew he’d continue bugging you. 

“What happened? Are you alright? Do y’need me to come get you from somewhere?” God, he sounded so sweet when he was worried.

“I’m fine, Mr. Miller. I’m not even in Austin right now, so you’re off the hook on that offer.”

“Where are you?” He pressed.

“Boston. I’m visiting family over the break,” you explained.

“You from there?” 

“I am.”

“I didn’t take you as an East Coast type of girl, but it makes sense with how stubborn y’are,” he chuckled.

“Yep. That’s me.”

“Alright, I ain’t gonna let you get off the hook this easily. What’s goin’ on?”

You rounded back down another street, holding your phone tighter against your ear, hoping you’d catch every breath in the receiver. Hearing Joel’s voice was enough to soothe your heart after a terrible night.

“Really,” you insisted. “We don’t need to talk about it.”

“I reckon we do. I bet you’ll feel better after.”

“I reckon I won’t,” you mimicked his accent.

Joel let out a low chuckle, clearly amused by your response. It garnered a smile from you as you pictured his lips turned up on the corners, the bottom lip pushed out and pouty like they always were.

“My family isn’t happy with me for staying in Austin. They think I should have moved home a couple of years ago,” you explained. “I’ll spare you the bad parts, but I should have come home. It would’ve made it easier on everyone.”

“But would it’ve made it easier on you?” He asked.

You stopped walking and pinched the bridge of your nose to hold back the coming tears. Of course, he saw it from the latter. He wasn’t siding with your parents, but he didn’t know what you had done and endured to deserve their bitterness.

“Probably, but it doesn’t matter. Listen, you don’t have to worry about me. We can talk poetry instead,” you offered.

“If that’s what y’want, and for the record, I’m gonna worry about you.” You could hear his smile through the phone.

“You don’t need to, Mr. Miller.”

“Joel,” he sighed. “Y’know, you can say my name.”

“I know, it’s just—.”

“All formalities,” he finished. “I just wish you’d quit that because I think we’re far past it by now.”

“I’m trying to maintain some semblance of professionalism,” you laughed. 

Your house was slowly coming into view again, and you felt the nerves creep back in. Eventually, you’d have to face them again, but right now, all you wanted to hear was Joel’s thick accent and husky voice. 

“What’s so wrong about bein’ unprofessional?” He joked.

“A lot, Mr. Miller,” you sighed. 

There was a brief pause on his end, and you bit your lip, wondering if he understood the meaning behind your words. You'd be completely vulnerable to him when you crossed the threshold between professional and unprofessional. Your restraint would melt away, and he’d win. 

“Should I be callin’ you Miss Smith again?” He sounded serious. “I don’t wanna make you uncomfortable and all that.”

“No,” you said all too quickly. “Call me by my name. I—I like it.”

You fucking idiot. 

Joel spoke your name in a lower voice, sending a shiver down your spine. Your steps back to the house slowed as you tried to control a strange urge rushing through your body. Was he teasing you? Was he actually doing that? You had to reel back in all the unprofessional thoughts swarming your head… especially the ones wondering how your name would sound when he was inside—. Stop that. 

“What’re you doing?” You exhaled. 

“Sayin’ your name,” he countered. “Y’said you liked it.”

“Yeah, I do.” You were beyond flustered and hot. “You’re—never mind. I should probably get inside and make peace with my family. Don’t think I forgot about Romeo and Juliet; I still want to hear your thoughts.”

“Call me tonight before you sleep,” Joel said. Oh, Christ. “I ain’t gonna remember the story if I wait any longer.”

“We could’ve talked about it earlier,” you chuckled. “You got sidetracked asking about me.”

“Is that a bad thing?”

You were at the edge of the front yard now, staring blankly at the porch light flickering against the nightfall blanketing the house. You couldn’t stay outside forever or on the phone with him forever—no matter how much you wanted to. 

“I need to get back to my family,” you sidestepped. “I’ll call tonight, okay?”

“Promise?”

You smiled to yourself, gripping the phone tighter in your hand. Damn this man, and damn his charm.

“I promise, Mr. Miller. Goodbye.”

“Bye,” he whispered, your name falling off his tongue one last time.

You were so screwed. Completely and utterly screwed. 

The house was quiet when you walked through the front door. Your mom and dad were lounging in the living room, flipping through channels, and Stella sat at the dining room table, working on her homework. Beth was nowhere to be found, which you figured would happen. Your mom glanced up from the couch with the same sympathetic expression Stella had given you earlier, and quite honestly, you were sick of it. You were sick of being pitied. You were sick of people being sad for you all the time. Yes, you were sad—all the time—but you wanted to be alone in your healing. You didn’t want to feel worse about it all from the people meant to support you. And you knew deep down they did support you, but it didn’t always feel that way. 

You needed to talk to Beth, or this entire week would be hell. 

“Is she up in her room?” You asked your mom.

She gave you a slow nod and then returned to watching the TV. She didn’t have to say anything; she knew why you asked.

Upstairs, your house was divided by two hallways. The left hallway had your parents and Stella’s room, and down the right was yours and Beth’s. You had spent so many nights with her tucked in the bed with you, staying up late talking about anything under the sun and always being each other's best friend. But that all disappeared when she realized how terrible Bennett was. Leaving Boston broke her heart, and in turn, Bennett broke yours and destroyed everything left between you and your family. 

After a sharp inhale and one final wipe of your eyes, you knocked on her door, hoping she’d let you in. The silence behind the door cemented the fact she knew it was you, yet the door opened and revealed Beth just as disheveled as you were. Her long brown hair was tossed up into a bun, and the makeup she had worn earlier was gone, a redness rimming her eyes in its place. You wanted to wrap your arms around her to apologize for everything, but Beth wasn’t that person. She didn’t want affection. She wanted words. 

“Can I come in?” You asked.

She nodded slowly, cracking the door open wider to let you step into her room. It was just as you remembered it: the fluffy white bed in the corner, the scattered polaroids on the wall, and the full-length mirror propped in the corner that you had gotten ready in front of before. Beth sat on the corner of her bed, her head hung as you joined her.

“I’m sorry,” she started. “I was a real bitch at dinner.”

You leaned into her, resting your head on her shoulder.

“You kinda were,” you chuckled. “But I understand. I shut you out. I shut everyone out, honestly. It’s easier to be alone.”

“No, it’s not,” she argued.

“Maybe, but it’s what I thought was best for me. You were right about Bennett, and I didn’t listen to you when I should have.”

“You may be older, but you are so stupid.”

You laughed harder at that, feeling her hand reach around and grip yours. You squeezed her fingers, your chest rising and falling normally. You missed this Beth, the one that could make light of the worst. 

“You know I couldn’t have come home, right? I made a life out in Austin, even without Bennett. I even went to his law firm and asked where he had gone, and all they said was that he took a job out of state. I was so scared he came back here, and if I came back to Boston, I’d see him again.”

“Why are you so afraid of him?” She asked.

“Because he broke my heart worse than I could have ever imagined. I don’t know what I’d do if I saw him again, Beth. I’d be terrified.”

Beth glanced down at you, shrugging you off her shoulder so you could meet her eyes. Tears swam in her blue eyes, rolling over onto her cheeks.

“You’re stronger than that. You always have been.”

“I don’t feel like it sometimes.”

She sighed, brushing away tears you hadn’t realized escaped your eyes. 

“Don’t let some shit guy ruin your life. You deserve to be happy, sis. There’s going to be someone so much greater out there.”

Flashes of Joel’s dark eyes and curly hair swam into your mind when she said those words. You didn’t want to believe Joel would be that person, but even your mind betrayed you. You willed it away, hoping you’d keep any thought of him lingering in the back of your head.

“I know,” you said. “Eventually, there will be.”

“There’s already someone, isn’t there?” She quirked an eyebrow.

You wanted to deny it and lie, but you wanted your friendship back. So, you told her everything, starting at the father-daughter dance and leading up to the phone call that had just ended. Beth had a massive grin while you spoke, nodding with every detail you shared.

“So… you’re gonna give him a chance, right?” She questioned.

“I can’t. He’s my students’ dad, and I can’t do that. It wouldn’t be right.”

“Then sneak around,” she pressed. “Here’s this amazing guy who’s obviously into you, and you’re gonna let that slip away because of what’s right and wrong?”

“What would you do?” You exhaled, falling back against her bed. You stared at the ceiling fan, watching it twirl in circles, hoping an answer would be hidden in its blades.

“I’d have amazing sex with him,” Beth chuckled, laying back beside you. “And then maybe fall in love, I don’t know. But sex for sure.”

“You’re terrible,” you giggled. 

Beth laughed along with you, shuffling her body closer so both of you were shoulder to shoulder. Coming home would feel like this again, but coming home would mean losing everything all over again. You’d lose your job and the house you loved so much… and you’d lose Joel. For some reason, the idea of not seeing him around made your heart ache in ways you hadn’t felt in a long time. Maybe Beth was right; maybe you’d give Joel a chance.

It was well into the night when you finally found yourself unwinding in bed and curling under the covers. You held your phone close to your chest, wondering if it was too late to call. In Boston, it was nearly midnight. Austin was only an hour behind, but you knew Joel worked early with his company. You didn’t want to assume he’d be asleep already, but the chances were slim he was awake and waiting for you. 

You dialed his number anyway.

It barely reached the second ring before he answered, your name as sweet as ever rolling through the receiver.

“I didn’t think you’d call,” he said. “Figured you forgot all about me.”

“Never,” you whispered, trying to keep your voice down. Everyone was asleep in the house, and the last thing you wanted was for them to hear you talking on the phone late at night like you were a teenager all over again.

“Y’figure everythin’ out with your family?” He asked.

“Yeah, it’s all good now.”

“Why’re you whisperin’?” He chuckled.

“Because everyone is asleep,” you tossed back.

“Sneakin’ around late then, huh?”

“Don’t tease me, Mr. Miller.”

“I’ll tease all I want,” he countered.

You blew out a breath, rolling over in the bed. With your knees curled up to your chest, you listened to Joel’s soft breathing and wondered if he was in bed, too. You wondered what he looked like, stretched out against the mattress, and if his body was as warm as his smile.

“Are you going to tell me about Romeo and Juliet? Or are you just going to sidetrack us again?” You asked softly.

Joel let out a heavy sigh, and you could hear rustling behind him. He was in bed, and for some reason, that enticed you. 

“You coulda warned me that they both die,” he started. “If it weren’t for Paris, they coulda had a happy ending!”

“The whole point of the story is to have a tragic ending. Shakespeare warned everyone in the foreshadowing, with Montague saying, ‘These violent delights have violent ends.’ It’s supposed to be a story about the chaos of passion.”

“Still ain’t makin’ up for the fact they never got to be together,” Joel grumbled.

“Not every story is a happy ending,” you exhaled, wincing at the words you spoke. You didn’t die because of Bennett, but the story hit too close to home. Between the chaos of family and the violent ends of your relationship, you had nearly become Juliet, killing herself over a man. Not literally, but the pain after the wedding was a death within itself. 

“Why d’you like it so much?” Joel asked.

“Wasn’t that your job to find out?”

“I’m not gonna lay here and make assumptions ‘bout you, but I get the feelin’ you’re a lot like Juliet.”

“Maybe,” you muttered quietly. 

“Who’s Romeo then?”

He didn’t sound angry, but you knew he only asked because he wanted to understand you better. And fuck, if that wasn’t a turn-on in itself.

“He’s the one that left me at the altar.”

There was a heavy silence from his end of the phone. You wanted to take the words back and shove them deep within you where the world couldn’t hear them. No matter how many times you said it aloud, it never felt easier. But it was the unfortunate truth; your love story had a tragic ending.

“Jesus fuck, I’m so sorry,” Joel exhaled.

“Don’t be. I’m okay.”

“Whoever did that didn’t deserve you. Perfect girl like you ain’t deserve someone that shitty.”

Perfect girl.

You had to clench your thighs together at the way his voice roughened when he said those two words. You wanted to play them on a loop over and over until you were mindless. Bennett never called you perfect—beautiful, maybe, but never perfect. He knew you for five years and never said it; Joel knew you for a month and not only said it…but believed it.

“I stayed with him a lot longer than I should have.”

“Wanna talk about it?” Joel offered, his voice gentler than a moment ago.

“Not right now,” you whispered. “I’ll make you a deal.”

“I’m listenin’.”

You were playing with fire now, and maybe it was the vulnerability of the day catching up to you, but Beth’s words were stuck in your head. There’s going to be someone so much greater out there. 

“Ask me anything you want over dinner.”

Silence. Dead silence. 

You held your breath, waiting for a response, waiting for anything. You could handle rejection, or at least you hoped you could. You hadn’t put yourself out there since Bennett left, and the idea of being unlovable was hard to wrap your head around. Did he ruin you to the point of no return? Was there any hope left?

“I’m not gonna take y’out to dinner and talk about your ex-fiancé,” Joel grumbled. 

“Oh, okay, yeah. I understand.”

The tears were welling in your eyes now, threatening your composure. He didn’t want to take you out anymore; that was fine. Who would want to deal with the broken pieces left in the wake of your past?

“If I’m gonna take you out, it’s gonna be a proper date where I get to know you,” Joel lowered his voice, the sound echoing through your head.

“A date?” You laughed nervously.

“Yes.” He said your name in a stern tone that stalled your breathing. “Quit bein’ all professional, and let me take you somewhere nice so I can really get to know you. That’s all I been wantin’ to do.”

“I’ll make you another deal,” you offered.

“God, you and your damn deals. Alright, let’s hear it,” he chuckled.

“When I’m back, ask me on a proper date.”

“Haven’t I already done that? The offer still stands, y’know.”

“I wasn’t ready to say yes when you asked. I think I’m ready now.”

“Bout damn time,” he laughed. “I swear I’m a patient man, but I’ve been goin’ out my damn mind waitin’ for you.”

“I’m sorry,” you mumbled. That was always the default response these days.

“You’re worth waitin’ for, I promise.”

You were at a complete and total loss for words. How did Joel always say everything you had always wanted to hear? You tried not to compare him to Bennett, but this was far beyond anything you had received in the past. It was foreign but so sweet. You allowed yourself to take the plunge; now, every risk was heightened. If the heartbreak Bennett had caused was this bad, you hoped never to find out what losing Joel would feel like. 

“Y’still there?” He asked.

“Yeah, I’m still here,” you whispered. You didn’t realize how long your thoughts had silenced you. “I’m looking forward to you asking me.”

“And I’m lookin’ forward to askin’…again.”

You smiled to yourself and shoved your head further under the covers. You could hear Joel yawning on the other end of the phone, and you realized just how late it was. You could listen to him talk until you fell asleep, but you wouldn’t keep him any longer.

“Go and get some sleep, Mr. Miller.”

“Y’sayin’ I’m old?” He grumbled.

“I’m saying I can hear you yawning over there,” you quipped.

“Alright, alright. Maybe we should both be gettin’ sleep. Can I call you tomorrow?”

“Yeah, I’d like that.”

“Goodnight,” he whispered.

“Goodnight, Mr. Miller.”

The rest of the week went smoother than you had imagined. After the conversation with Beth, you both fell back into the familiar routine of being close. You’d catch her sliding you small smiles while you were out around the city, a deep concern crossing over her eyes, knowing how hard it was to relive the memories. Boston hadn’t changed, making it easier knowing you had made the right decision to leave. Stella introduced you to her new boyfriend, and your parents cooked a huge dinner to include him in a family evening together. And every night, you’d stay up late talking to Joel on the phone. 

He told you tiny snippets of his day and what had happened at work while you shared pieces of your day traveling around town with family. You noticed how he sidestepped or avoided asking deeper questions about you, and it was sweet knowing that he really wanted to wait for that date to ask those questions. Those late-night talks became something you looked forward to, even if they were filled with mundane things to chat about. 

Friday came quicker than you expected, and you were fidgeting to get on the plane home. Joel had asked the night before when you were landing and insisted on being the one to pick you up from the airport. You were struggling to continue saying ‘no’ to him, and frankly, you wanted him to be the first person you saw when you arrived. 

Austin’s skyline was dotted with lights as the plane touched down in the evening. Those few hours on the plane felt like an eternity, but as you scrambled down the tunnel into the airport, you felt a surge of excitement flowing through your body. Something had shifted over the week between you and Joel; that line between professional and unprofessional slowly disappeared. You were losing the battle inside you to keep your distance from him, and God made it so easy to do that. His charm kept you coming back for more, and the idea of what could happen between the two of you was terrifying, but the risk was beginning to look less dangerous. You felt comfortable, which was far from what you felt with Bennett. You always had to be the best version of yourself, the perfect image of a perfect girlfriend and fiancé. But you realized with Joel, you could let your control slip. He had seen and heard your vulnerability more times than you wanted to allow, yet he didn’t run away. 

He didn’t run away.

That thought slammed into you as you walked through the airport, knowing you weren’t walking towards an empty altar. You were walking towards a man willing to wait for you—for the first time. 

As you made it through the crowd of other travelers, you finally emerged into the lower level of the airport, your eyes darting around to find Joel. In the chaos of bodies walking around, his tall figure stood above the rest, a small bouquet of flowers in hand. Your steps slowed as you approached, your eyes shifting from the flowers to his welcoming smile. 

“What’s this?” you asked, your cheeks pink from running or seeing him; you weren’t sure.

“Figured it would be a nice way to welcome you home,” Joel smiled, handing them to you. 

The flowers were an array of colorful carnations, their orange and pink petals standing out against the green leaves surrounding them. You took them from him and watched as he replaced the flowers in his hand with your luggage, insisting on carrying them for you. He wore a multi-colored flannel, the material stretching over his back and shoulders as he lifted your bags. You stood back, mesmerized, as he led you toward the parking garage. 

“Thank you again,” you said. “I know you had a long work day, so thank you for driving out here.”

Joel looked over his shoulder and smiled at you. You noticed the scruff on his face was a bit grown out from the last time you saw him, but those bare patches still stood strong. There was a strange urge inside you to kiss them and feel the warmth of the skin underneath. 

“It’s no trouble at all,” he said. 

His truck was parked far back in the parking lot, which made the walk together longer than you expected. The smell of the flowers enveloped you as you held them close to your chest. You could only count a handful of times Bennett had gotten you flowers and could count even fewer times he actually picked you up from the airport. Any time you went home to visit family, which was far and few, he used the excuse of work to avoid being there for you. 

Joel lifted your luggage into the backseat of his truck, turning to you once he shut the door. He spoke your name softly, staring down at you as you gave him a curious look. 

“Well, since you’re home now, I’m just gonna ask it,” he started. “Would you go out to dinner with me?”

“I’d love that,” you smiled, a blush crawling up your neck. 

“Good,” he nodded. “I hope you’re hungry.”

“Wait, you mean right now?”

Joel leaned closer to you, tucking a strand of your hair behind your ear. 

“I told you I’m a patient man, but I ain’t waitin’ any longer. So get your stubborn ass in my truck, and let me take you out.”

“You’re relentless, Mr. Miller,” you rolled your eyes. 

Joel opened the passenger door for you, waiting patiently as you climbed in and buckled yourself. 

“I’m gonna make sure you stop callin’ me that by the end of the night,” he said, his eyes trained on you. 

Your breath stalled, and you wondered about the meaning behind his words. Joel probably didn’t mean it sexually, but that’s exactly where your brain went. This was only a date, nothing more, nothing less. You were already giving into him with this; you wouldn’t give in any more than that—no matter how badly you might want to. 

“We’ll see, Mr. Miller,” you smirked.

Joel’s brown eyes darkened at your challenge, and you hoped he didn’t notice how your thighs clenched to quell the warmth pooling inside your stomach. You were staying strong on this one; saying his name meant giving up control entirely. If you gave up the control, you’d give up everything, and you weren’t sure if you could do that to yourself—not yet, at least.

You made small talk with Joel on the drive to his chosen restaurant. It was a casual steakhouse, but you were obviously underdressed from being on a plane for nearly four hours. Joel wasn’t much better either; his attire always seemed too casual and messy. Oddly enough, it was growing on you. You couldn’t imagine him wearing suits or dress-casual attire; it didn’t suit his persona. He was rugged through and through, and you liked that. You had judged him so early on, but the carefree way he carried himself amplified your attraction to him. Bennett always wore some bullshit suit and tie for work, looking overdressed and uncomfortable. Whenever he wasn’t working—which was rare—he still looked like a pretentious East Coast snob with his dress slacks and polo. God, the more you thought about it, the more it pissed you off. 

Once Joel and you were seated at a table and ordered, you found yourself squirming in your seat. Joel’s eyes were warm and unwavering in the restaurant's lighting as he focused on you. With his hands folded on the table, he kept his body pressed forward just to get closer to you. 

“So, I know y’told me you had sisters,” he started. “Beth and Stella, right?”

“Mhmm,” you nodded, sipping the red wine before you. You hadn’t planned on drinking, but your body demanded some sort of aid in numbing the nerves coursing through your veins. “Stella is the youngest. She’s eighteen. She graduated high school this year and started attending Boston College in September. Beth is two years younger than me and works in graphic design for a company in downtown Boston.”

“If Beth is two years younger, that makes you…”

“I’m twenty-seven, Mr. Miller,” you chuckled. 

Joel’s eyes widened a bit, most likely as he realized the age gap between you both. Clearly, he had to have noticed by now, but his reaction was still comical. You nervously bit your lip, wondering if the distance between your age would make him less interested. It’s only a date, you reminded yourself. He wasn’t interested in you that much. 

“Shesh,” he whistled, leaning back into his chair. “I ain’t take you to be that young.”

“Sorry to disappoint,” you muttered. 

He shook his head, reaching for his beer, and you watched him take a long sip before responding. 

“No, it’s not like that,” he reassured. “Y’just surprise me, that’s all.”

“How so?” You asked, leaning forward. 

“Y’act so mature sometimes,” he explained. “You’re big on actin’ professional and adult-like.”

“It’s my job,” you said.

“Bein’ a teacher shouldn’t stop you from enjoyin’ your twenties,” he countered. 

You sighed, nodding along to his words. A lot of things had stopped you from enjoying your twenties, like a particular asshole you thought you’d spend your life with. Being young and careless was never something in the cards for you, and honestly, the closest thing you had gotten to that was the night Joel saw you at the bar. 

“Do you feel like being a young dad did the same for you?” You asked. 

Joel inhaled sharply, scratching the back of his neck. You began to realize he did that a lot; in nervous moments, in moments he was deep in thought, in moments he felt awkward. Right now, you assumed it was because he was trying to formulate some sort of response. 

“I ain’t really had a choice in it. When Sarah’s mom left, I was pretty lost tryna do the ‘dad’ thing. I had to juggle between work and bein’ present, and Tommy was young then, too, so he couldn’t help much. I just tried my best and learned as I went.”

“How old is Tommy?”

“Younger than you,” Joel laughed. “He’s twenty-five.”

“Oh gosh, you guys have a big age gap, too.”

“That we do.”

The waiter brought your meals, forcing the chit-chat to stall while you indulged in the steak and side dishes in silence. Occasionally, Joel would hum as he ate, glancing up at you to see your reaction to the flavors as well. You returned his curious eyes with soft smiles, indulging in how he looked at you like you were something he hungered for far more than the food in front of him. When the plates cleared and your napkins were disposed of, Joel asked the waiter for another round of drinks so that you both had no option but to remain seated in each other's company. 

“What made you want to be a teacher?” He asked, smoothing down the flannel over his stomach.

Your eyes caught onto the movement of his hand as it brushed down his navel, the veins flexing as he readjusted himself in his chair. Joel dipped his head slightly to draw your attention back to his soft eyes, and you instantly felt caught in your actions. 

“I’m not sure, honestly. I’ve always loved literature, and the idea of teaching young kids about it just seemed appealing. There’s a lot of power in words, you know? I want to show them that.”

“That’s pretty poetic of you to say,” he smirked. 

“Well, I hope so. I literally teach poetry for a living.”

Joel chuckled quietly, the lines around his eyes crinkling as his smile stretched across his face. Was it terrible that you were picturing him kissing you? Despite every thought in your head that shouted at you not to think about it, it was all you could focus on. 

“Do you enjoy your job?” You countered. 

“I do, most days. Tommy and I are tryna start up our own business one day, but it ain’t in the cards yet. I need to save up a bit more and hopefully work on gettin’ permits and all that before I can actually do it,” he explained. 

“I believe in you,” you said softly. “You’re a hard worker, Mr. Miller.”

“Well, thank you.” His cheeks reddened at your words. 

Both of you sat in comfortable silence for a moment, stealing shy glances and laughing at the emptiness of words. Joel had said he wanted to get to know you more, but the questions seemed far and few. In your mind, you considered that a second date could be in the cards, seeing as though neither of you had yet tired of the other. Even in the quiet moments, Joel had remained completely enraptured by you, never letting his eyes stray too far from yours. 

“Y’ready to get home?” He asked once the bill was paid for.

“I suppose so,” you shrugged. 

Joel’s hand was firm on your lower back as he guided you out of the restaurant and back to his truck. The featherlike touch against your clothed skin was enough to awaken that warmth back into your body, the feeling of it blooming inside you with each step. Inside the truck, you watched as the streets blurred past as Joel drove toward your home. The night was ending, yet you still ached at the thought of him leaving. You didn’t dare to take anything further, and you still didn’t know if that was something he wanted—or if it was something you wanted. 

Seeing your tiny home was a breath of fresh air as Joel put his truck in park. You gathered the flowers from the seat and quietly helped him unload your luggage. The tension between you thickened with each step as you approached the front door. Turning to him, you smiled and squeezed his arm.

“Thank you,” you said, hesitating by the door. “For tonight and everything.”

Joel’s eyes sparkled under your porch light, the darkness of his irises illuminated and dancing in the shadows. He had shrugged off his flannel after hauling your luggage from the truck, and now it hung over his arms, exposing the corded veins running from his hands to his biceps.

“Of course,” he said your name softly. “Y’look beautiful tonight, by the way. I can’t remember if I told you that or not, but really, you’re beautiful.”

Your cheeks warmed at the compliment, and there was no way of hiding the redness creeping over your face and neck. He watched you with a hungry gaze, his eyes roaming your body. Even if you only stood in a sweatshirt and a pair of jeans, Joel looked at you like you were bare before him. 

“Thank you,” you smiled. “I—I know I look like shit, but thank you.

“Y’definitly don’t look like shit,” Joel insisted. “I’ll plan another date so y’can get all dolled up and look even more beautiful. 

“That’s not really necessary. I mean the dressing up part, not the date part. I’d like to go on another date.” You were rambling at this point.

“Sure it is. The world deserves to see y’look beautiful, even if I want to keep you to myself selfishly.”

“Stop it,” you blushed. “Go get home before it gets too late.”

“You tryna get rid of me that quick?”

“I know how much you enjoy talking,” you laughed.

“Yeah, yeah. Whatever,” he grinned, turning to leave. “Y’have a good night, okay?”

“I will. Goodnight, Joel.”

Then you realized what you had said. 

He realized it, too. 

“Y—,” Joel cut himself off. Shaking his head, he let his flannel fall to the ground. “Fuck it,” he whispered.

Joel swarmed you, pressing you against the door as his hands came up to cup your face. Without a second to breathe, his lips crashed against yours until stars sparked behind your eyes. His mouth was warm as he devoured you slowly, drinking in every noise you made. Every one of your senses was evaded by him: the scent of his cologne drifting over your body, the heat of his skin against yours, the sound of his mouth breathing into yours. You found yourself hesitant at first, adjusting to the hardness of his body pressed against yours. He must have also realized it, his mouth slowing as he pulled away. 

“I—shit,” he muttered. “I’m so sorry. I shouldn’t have done that.”

Your fingers crawled up his chest and gripped at the collar of his shirt, hauling him back to you until your mouth was a breath away from his. 

“Just shut up and kiss me again,” you whispered. 

Then his lips pressed against yours again, this time frantic and all-consuming. You opened your mouth to him, letting him taste the vulnerability spilling out of you, replacing it with desperation you hadn’t yet dared to feel. Your tongue darted out to brush over his bottom lip, and he captured it in another greedy kiss, intertwining himself with you. Joel’s hands moved to tangle in your hair, his fingers lightly pulling as he drew you in closer. Your hands wound their way around his neck; your chest flush against his until all you could feel was the rapid beating of his heart matching yours. There was no way of telling where he began and you ended; you both had melted into one. Lips, teeth, tongue… over and over again, the motion repeated, and you felt the warmth creeping up your spine the more he moved against you. You sunk your teeth into his lip, tugging it slightly, as you pulled away to gasp for air. 

“Joel,” you exhaled, panting softly. 

“Yeah, baby?” His voice was rough as he pressed his forehead to yours.

“What are we doing?”

“I don’t know, but I don’t wanna stop.”

He lowered his lips to kiss down your neck, the chill of his mouth on you prickling your skin. You couldn’t form any words to tell him to stop. You didn’t want him to stop. You were mindless and boneless in his strong grasp, completely untethered from your control. All you could focus on was the way his mouth roamed over the column of your neck, the veins that your blood rushed through throbbing under his lips. Joel’s hand traveled back around, his thumb tipping your jaw upwards so that he could kiss more of your skin. Your eyes blinked at the flickering bulb of your porch light, the sound of crickets chirping somewhere in the distance. His tongue traced a line up your neck, his teeth nipping against your jaw. You let out a soft whine as his mouth connected to yours again, the passion between you snapping into place. 

The night wasn’t ending here. You needed more. The craving was too intense to keep at bay, and you needed him in ways you had been too afraid to admit. Your fingers wound themselves into the curls at the base of his neck, holding him firm against you as you grinned into his open mouth. 

“Come inside,” you mumbled against his moving lips. 

You fumbled blindly for your keys, twisting around to unlock your door; all the while, Joel kept his lips on any part of your skin he could find. He reached around you to shove the door open, and with one arm wound around your waist, you both tumbled over the threshold.

[reivrze]

Hii!

So maybe crush en- when them and their crush kiss but then their crush gets distant (what it is is that their crush is nervous abt the new feelings ofc) like highschool au. But if you want you can make it like the last one where’s it’s a Niki imagine that’s enemies to lovers idk lol

a/n : i apologize for the wait, i wanted to work on my series so i didn't do many requests but i hope you like this ! also i decided to leave a few of these as a cliff hanger to add suspense hehe 😈 also i didn't really commit to the highschool au thing sorry, but i wanted to make the scenarios vary, and the highschool au is restricting

pairing : crush!enha x gn!reader genre : fluff, angst warning : cursing ( ? ), probably the longest reaction i've ever written, didn't proof read lmao sorry

l. heeseung . ⁺

you guys had kiss during a truth or dare game amongst friends, your friends had been the one that dared you to kiss him as they knew you had the biggest crush on him since first grade. sure this wasn't how you had wanted your first kiss with him to go like but you were sure as hell not going to let this opportunity slip from you.

you had avoided heeseung for the rest of the night, feeling embarrassed from the earlier kiss between you two. you had been scared that if he could talk to you alone for two second that he'd tell you that the kiss was purely platonic and he had just complied because it was a dare.

what you didn't know what that he had been looking for you while you were hiding away from you. you didn't see how his cheeks turned pink the second your lips made contact with his. you didn't catch the way his hands flinched at your proximity, oh how he wanted to pull you closer to him and it killed him to keep his hands to himself. you didn't notice how his eyes saddened when he felt the warmth of your lips leave him. if only you knew all the things you missed.

p. jongseong . ⁺

jay had invited you to the studio, he had been working on a song for past month and wanted you to help him review it. you guys spent the night going over his work, not even noticing how tipsy you were getting from the wine you had been sipping together for over a few hours.

as the alcohol made its way through your veins, you head started feeling dizzy and your lids heavy, feeling tired, you laid your head on jay's shoulder. you looked up from underneath him, staring at his strong jaw, straight nose, beautiful eyes, and his oh-so soft looking lips. not really thinking much of it, your hand made its way to jay's cheek and turning his face down towards you. for once, you took a risk ad you brought his lips down to yours.

jay, not wanting to kiss you while you were intoxicated, pulled you away from him gently. realizing what you had just done, you panicked, profusely apologizing while slurring your words and pushing yourself back up ready to leave. jay didn't want you to ge the wrong message as he quickly stood up, helping you get steady,

"hey hey, love, you don't have to apologize, i want to kiss oyu but i want it to be when you'll remember it, not when you're drunk"

i struggled with that last line of dialogue, it doesn't sound as good as i wished it to be

s. jaeyun . ⁺

jake and you were engrossed in a friendly game of Twister. the colorful mat sprawled out on the floor, and your bodies twisted and contorted in an attempt to follow the game's instructions. laughter filled the room as you struggled to maintain your balance, your limbs tangled.

as the game progressed and trying to keep your balance got increasingly difficult, one misstep caused you to fall down, right on top jake, ultimately making him fall as well. for a moment, time stilled as the realization that your lips were against one another's sank into both of you, you body reacting quickly after, as you lifted your self off him, stammering apology after apology.

jake, however, had a different response, ignoring the words coming out of you as he snaked his hand around your waist, bring you back down, reconnecting your lips.

p. sunghoon . ⁺

you and sunghoon found yourselves in the middle of a heated argument. your voices grew louder, each trying to prove your point. as the tension escalated, you couldn't help but notice sunghoon's lips, mesmerized by their shape and the way they moved when he spoke. it was distracting, to say the least.

lost in your thoughts, your attention wandered from the argument, and without thinking, you leaned forward, capturing sunghoon's lips in an unexpected kiss. time seemed to stand still as your lips met, momentarily silencing the escalating argument. your action caught sunghoon off guard, and he blinked in surprise before quickly reciprocating the kiss, his lips molding with yours.

feeling a mix of embarrassment and excitement, you pulled away slightly, your cheeks turning a shade of crimson. but before you could apologize or explain yourself, sunghoon reached out and gently pulled you back in, deepening the kiss. in that moment, he whispered against your lips,

"this does not mean you won the argument."

the unexpected passion of the kiss lingered in the air as you finally broke apart, your eyes locked for a brief moment. both you and sunghoon were left speechless, your argument momentarily forgotten amidst the charged atmosphere. tt was clear that the kiss had stirred something within both of you, a connection that went beyond your disagreement.

k. sunoo . ⁺

the room was filled with tension as sunoo sat on the couch, listening intently to you pouring out your stress and anxiety over your upcoming finals. you could feel the weight of the world on your shoulders, you voice quivering and tears welling up in your eyes. the pressure had become too much, and you couldn't hold it back any longer.

"I just… I don't know what to do anymore," you managed to say between sobs, your vulnerability shining through your words.

sunoo's heart ached seeing you like this, feeling the depth of your pain. without hesitation, he moved closer, his warm presence offering solace. he reached out and gently wiped away your tears with his thumb, offering a comforting smile.

"hey, it's okay," he whispered softly. "you don't have to face this alone. I'm here for you."

as his words washed over you, a mix of emotions swirled within you. the rawness of the moment, coupled with the care he displayed, brought you closer to him. in that instant, you closed the gap between you and pressed your lips against his, seeking solace and connection amidst the chaos.

immediately realizing what you had done, you pulled away abruptly, your cheeks flushed with embarrassment and regret. "I'm so sorry," you stammered, your voice barely audible. "I shouldn't have done that.

sunoo's eyes sparkled with a mix of amusement and affection. he pulled you back into his embrace, holding you gently but firmly. with a lighthearted tone and a soft chuckle, he reassured you,

"you know, I'll always be here to listen to your worries, no matter how big or small. and as for the kissing part, let's save that for better conditions. maybe when you're not feeling so overwhelmed with finals stress."

y. jungwon . ⁺

you and jungwon found yourselves attending a lively new year's party, surrounded by friends and shimmering decorations. the air was filled with anticipation as the countdown to midnight approached. as the clock's hands neared 12, you couldn't help but steal glances at jungwon. you had been friends for a while, but lately, your feelings had blossomed into something more. your heart raced with nervous excitement, unsure of how jungwon felt.

when the moment finally arrived, the room erupted in cheers, and all eyes turned toward the large clock hanging on the wall. you couldn't resist stealing one last glance at jungwon, your eyes locking just as the clock struck 12.

in that instant, an impulsive surge of courage overcame you. you leaned in and pressed your lips against jungwon's, sharing a brief but electrifying kiss. immediately pulling back, your cheeks flushed with a mix of embarrassment and excitement. "I'm so sorry, I don't know what came over me," you stammered.

to your surprise, instead of being taken aback, jungwon burst into a warm laughter. he gently took your hand in his and brought it to his lips, pressing a tender kiss on your knuckles. "what a cute and romantic way to ask me to be your boyfriend," he said, his voice filled with affectionate amusement.

n. riki . ⁺

you and niki had been diligently practicing a beautiful and romantic choreography for the end-of-year showcase. the dance was filled with intricate movements and delicate touches that reflected your deep connection. as the music swelled to its crescendo, you found yourselves in the final position, your bodies intertwined and faces mere inches apart.

lost in the intensity of the moment, your heart raced, overwhelmed by the electric energy between you. without thinking, you leaned in and pressed your lips against niki's. realizing what had just happened, you quickly pulled away, your face flushed with surprise and embarrassment.

"m-my apologies," you stammered, your voice barely audible as you hastily gathered your things and dashed out of the practice room, desperately needing a moment alone to process the unexpected kiss. but you didn't get far before niki caught up to you, his footsteps echoing behind. gasping for breath, you turned around to face him, your eyes wide with trepidation. before you could utter a single word, niki reached out and gently took hold of your trembling hand.

"hey, you didn't give me time to say something.." he breathed out, slightly amused at the whole situation.

"i wanted to ask you if you'd like to grab coffee sometime? get to know each other outside of dance practice, you know?"

© miyu 2023 - do not copy, translate, repost or plagiarise my work anywhere !

[angstywaifu]

The Lost Sister - Part 6

Synopsis: Xaden is known as an only child due to his sister who 'died' during the Rebellion. Little do they know she didn't die and has been so close this entire time.

Garrick Tavis x OC A/N: I couldn't resist posting this so close to the other part. I'd say I'm sorry for the slight cliff hanger.... But I'm not. Also I've started writing some of the stuff around threshing, what do you guys think Ophelia's signet should be? What dragon will she have? Also what should we make Garrick's signet? I've seen a few theories on his being pain due to his dragons name, and honestly kinda leaning towards it. As per usual if you want to be on the tag list let me know! And if you guys have any prompts or ideas for small little one off stories/one shots, please pop them in my asks! Would love to give some other ideas a go. Probably leaning more towards our rebellion boys (Xaden, Garrick, Bodhi and Liam), but happy to give some others a go.

The Lost Sister Masterlist | Masterlist

Garrick leans against the wall at the end of the bed, his hazel eyes watching me like a hawk. He hadn’t take his eyes off me since scooping me off the floor. I’m a little disappointed he managed to put a shirt on before bringing me here. I could have used the view while the healer works at cleaning the blood off my face and mending my nose. Every time I flinch or wince as the healer works, I swear I see Garrick’s hand twitch as if wanting to reach out and stop her. The healer walks away to get me some healing balm to take with me to help the last of my nose heal and to help with any bruising that may decide to show up. As she rounds the corner, Garrick pushes off the wall and pulls up a chair next to my bed. He reaches up and tilts my head towards him with his right hand. His eyes assessing my face and the work the healer has done. When he’s satisfied I’ve been healed adequately his eyes meet mine. His hand still lingering on my face.

”You two really did a number on each other.” He says with a chuckle.

”You finally going to tell me what the hell is up with you and Imogen.” I say more aggressively that I intend.

Garrick flinches at my words and his moves his hand from my cheek to his lap as he looks down and starts to fidget with this hands. Some of his dark curls falling in front of his eyes. Definitely not the response he was expecting from me.

“I promise you there is nothing going on-”

”Bullshit.” I spit out cutting him off mid sentence.

He looks up at me shocked and almost scared. Something I can safely say I’ve never seen from Garrick towards me. Granted I don’t think I’ve used that kind of tone towards him before in the entire time I’ve known Garrick, which is pretty much my entire life. He hangs his head and goes back to fidgeting with his hands, the chair creaking under his weight as he moves around. Clearly uncomfortable with the situation.

“For me there’s nothing going on with her. We hooked up a few times, but that was it.” He admits, his shoulders sagging with the confession before looking back up at me with sad eyes that almost plead forgiveness from me. “But I made it clear I wanted nothing serious. But it is becoming clear those hook ups meant more to her than just something casual.”

”You never struck me as the casual hook up type.” I admit to him.

He slowly nods in agreement before looking away again, intently focused on his hands again. “Honestly I’m not. But there are times while you are here where you just need someone. And the person I needed. The person I wanted more than just a casual hook up with.” His eyes flick up to mine, and I swear my heart stops as if I know what’s coming. “Well I kind of thought they were dead till recently.”

His words come out so quietly I barely hear them. But I do. My heart rate starts to pick up as his words sink in and silence falls around us as we just stare into each others eyes. There is no doubt that Garrick meant me. It’s not like anyone else has come back from the dead recently. Garrick who I spent most of my child hood and teenage years crushing over, has just confessed they feel the same way and all I can do is sit here and stare at him like a deer about to get torched by a dragon. And I’m sure my face probably looks similar to that deer right now. His words start to sink in as he stares at me hopefully. His eyes pleading at me to say something. Say anything back to him. But I can’t. All I can do is stare at him in shock, despite wanting to hear this exact confession from him for years.

At that moment the healer comes back with the healing balm, completely oblivious to the tension in the small closed off area. “Here you go lovely, just apply it to any bruising as it appears.” She says sweetly as she hands it to me.

I tear my gaze from Garrick as I stand and take the healing balm from her, before quickly walking out of the room. I hear the chair Garrick was sitting on scrape against the floor. As soon as I’m out the door I take off. I vaguely hear Garrick call my name as I run back to the riders quadrant.

Part 7

Tag List: @riorgail @going-through-shit @fw-gt @bbkissme99

[allieebobo]

CT:OS Update #6: Chapter Three Full update out!

Chapter Three: Doubles Trouble is available for everyone on dashingdon!

Chapter 3: +92k words (with code), ~18k words (without code) Total CT:OS wordcount: ~346k words (with code), ~85k words (without code)

I'm so excited to hear what you guys think!! As always, you can give me a shout / find me here on Tumblr, the COG forums, or on Ko-fi! Love y’all, and thank you so much for the support and lovely messages so far.

Here’s to some great doubles matches! 🍻

See the summary below!

Pt. 1

Attend your first photography club meeting and potentially… have a moment with G in the dark room [smooching may be involved!]

Hang out with D and G at a café, and have a run-in with Felix! [it can be as cordial as you want, or a little hostile.]

Play a (mini) challenge match—against Deepal, Jacks, Max, or Akimi.

Find out if you’re officially in the Top 6 of Cargill's line-up! (meaning you’ll play in the singles matches during the season)

Short Sam POV scene <3

Pt. 2

Play two doubles matches—One with Tobin as your partner, against Rayyan and Jacks [Yes, you can beat Rayyan, at last!] And another with Rayyan as your partner against Tobin and Jacks!

Find out who your doubles partner for the season is! [Rayyan, Tobin, and Emerson are all possibilities, and they will all have their cliff-hanger-y reactions to the news.]

No points for guessing who is… not happy with the news. ((Yes, this is not a drill. The locker room scene is real.))

Extras

New chapter banners are up! (Let me know what you think—whether you love it or hate it, as I’m still toying around with the design!)

Skip matches (with a password once you’ve played the match once—sorry, I still haven't changed this to allow you to choose whether you won/lost)

Beast mode (where every choice you make will be automatically successful!) Password is: unleashthekraken

Earlier chapters have also been edited based on beta tester comments, and to streamline the content a little.

[goobtacular]

"To my wonderful readers: Sorry about that last cliff-hanger. Well, no, not really. HAHAHAHA. But seriously, love you guys." - Rick Riordan, The Heroes of Olympus, Book Four: The House of Hades

[ladygreek]

OKAY.. I HAVE SOME THOUGHTS

Blood of Zeus season 2

Spoilers below, proceed with caution!

First of all.. Hades and Persephone are absolutely everything. I adore them as characters and as a couple. Their loyalty to each other was beautiful and their willingness to do anything, no matter how horrible to reunite their family had me crying.

I adore the way they met, how he kept himself hidden because he didn't think she'd want to see him. Hades saving Persephone from Ares but completely able to hold her own with her own powers. *chefs kiss*

WHEN TWO SOULS ARE MEANT TO BE TOGETHER NOTHING CAN KEEP THEM APART.

And I'm sorry, that tree Persephone made of the two of them? I fucking cried like baby. And the way you could see Hades' heart break when it got destroyed KILLED ME.

Rip my heart out why don'tcha. Also, baby Zagreus and Melinoe? Love.

Hera getting a redemption arch was fantastic. I loved her in season one but her anger was misplaced for the most part so it was nice to see her make a come back.

Ares.. oh Ares. I know some people aren't going to like his portrayal but I actually liked it. Not all of Zeus' children are going to be decent and someone had to be a "bad guy" and frankly I'm just glad it wasn't Apollo for once.

Speaking of Apollo, him not accepting that discus because that's how Hyacinth died? My poor baby.

I'm really glad we got some Athena and a bit more Artemis this season. Hestia was great, I absolutely loved her. Hecate (I'm guessing that was her) and seeing Thanatos was also a welcome suprise.

Demeter's portrayal had me conflicted. Lying that your daughter was abducted because you didn't like her sutor is crazy and manipulative, especially letting it continue as the two of them had a family. I also understand that she wants power and control but blackmailing her daughters husband to do so was not the best choice.

Seraphim.. my sweet sweet Seraphim. My heart broke for this man. Introducing a love interest that died "because of him" was gut wrenching, hasn't he suffered enough? I feel like he really redeemed himself and was trying to do right by the one last person he could do right by.

Heron.. okay, so I'm probably not gonna get a lot of love for this BUT I didn't really like his character in season one and I still don't really like him now. He's okay I guess, there's just something about him that doesn't do it for me. I also don't think he's fit to be the next ruler of the heavens. Maybe my opinion will change if we get another season.

Did I mention how much I loved Hades and Persephone?

I read somewhere that the creators of the show have 5 seasons planned out. I'm really hoping we at least get one more because that cliff hanger was UNFAIR.

I hear this season is getting some hate on Twitter and I don't really know why. Overall I enjoyed it much more than season one. I'm definitely biased though considering Hades is my favorite Greek god and Hades and Persephone are my favorite couple.

Anyway, those are my thoughts. Now to get my boyfriend to watch it with me. And then watch it 6477858585 more times.

[pegasjosef]

seeing stars-C.Sturniolo PART 2!

pt.1

Song i listened to while writing this:

Warnings:NSFW. If you are a minor or are uncomfortable with this topic DNI! Some angst? Fluff at the end! Lots of dialog. use of Y/n(chris is so closed minded but his mind gets opened more n more).

(NSFW IS THE OTHER PARTS)

Any disrespect and bullying towards me or my followers/readers will be BLOCKED!

English isn't my first language so I'm sorry in advance if my spelling+grammer isn't good!

no proofread!

Key:

Y/n: Red

Chris: Orange

Nick: Purple

Matt: Blue

Olivia: Green

Others: Pink

Y/NS VIBE:

Summery: Y/n fall's in love with the schools biggest player, Chris Sturniolo. But what happens when he falls harder?

Chris's POV:

She smile as she says the last part. Fuck, I just broke up with Olivia and I'm already moving on. What's wrong with me? Especially with someone like y/n. She's not normal, she doesn’t look normal. Her hair is red and she had multiple piercings, Why am I so invested by her? 

"Sure, I'll call you tonight. What time works for you?" I asked, noting her smile. Despite just ending things with Olivia, I found myself drawn to Y/n's energy.

"My parents usually go to bed around 10 p.m. How about 10:30?" I suggested.

I felt a flush of embarrassment at the implications of the time I had suggested. Why did I choose a time usually reserved for touching myself?

"Ok. I have a gig at 7pm and it ends at 9. I'll try and call you on time. If i don't answer I'm still at the venue." 

As Y/n mentioned her gig, my curiosity peaked. I hadn’t realized she was a musician. I couldn’t help but wonder about her on stage, lost in the music.

–

10:32pm

As the clock passed our agreed time, doubts crept in. Was she occupied elsewhere? My mind raced, but I breathed a sigh of relief when her name flashed on my screen, signaling her call.

"Hey, Y/n,"

 I greeted with a smile, perhaps a bit too eagerly. As we talked, I found myself immersed in her world, momentarily forgetting my earlier hesitations.

Eventually, she asked a question that caught me off guard, revealing my internal struggle. Despite my attempt to assure her of my sincerity, I stumbled over my words, cursing my uncertainty.

"So, are you talking to me because of a bet or because you want to be friends with me?" she inquired.

"I want to be friends with you Y/n",  I reassured her, though doubts lingered. Yet, despite my reservations, I couldn't deny the pull she had on me, her uniqueness only adding to her charm.

----------------------------------------------------------------

A/n: Leaving Y'all on a cliff hanger Bc I'm not motivated to write right now. Thanks for blowing up my last post! ily guys<3

Yours truly, R.A.Y.Č.E.K☆🍓𖦹🍒𖦹☆

COMMENT IF U WANNA BE ON THE TAGLIST!!

taglist: @tillies33ssss@bazooka-cazooka@christhopersturniolo

[nourrris]

I'm happy there was no season 4.

This could either be a popular, or very unpopular opinion, I'm unsure as frankly I've only began watching two days ago, and finished the show already, (god it was beautiful).

Anyways, I very firmly believe anything after a season 3 would have likely ruined the storyline, it ended on such a beautiful note, something that's so perfectly them. I'm also in a way, happy they never actually did kiss, although realistically I had been rooting for it to happen, the fact it didn't doesn't bother me one bit, it really brings out all the intimacy in their prior actions, and words, I love that their love was batshit insane, that it didn't need a kiss or pda to believe it was reciprocated, frankly surrendering eachothers lives together was more than enough for a confirmation.

But continuing on, I believe a season 4 would have been too messy, they left s3 on a very difficult position to recover off, and a position that didn't need recovering either, it didn't need fixing or changing - not one bit. It was so perfect in my opinion, their last things they did was kill a man together to save one another, then kill themseleves together, literally how much more fitting could it have been for these murder husbands? It just worked so well, that nothing can be more intimate than death for them, in my opinion.

Latching onto the last part of the first section of the post, I really liked how they portrayed the reciprocity of Will's feelings towards Hannibal. When Bedelia ask's Will if he 'aches' for Hannibal too, and it cuts off to another scene, I generally already took that as a yes, as it was a big damn claim, I don't think it's something you easily hesitate on, not when the person in question is a cannibalistic murderer. When he chooses to save Hannibal, and jump off the cliff with him though, that is the real confirmation of course, choosing to leave his wife and son, all friends and absolutely every inch of the life he made - for Hannibal, a man he physically could not get over no matter how hard he tried.

It's perfect, sorry I just finished the show today (like a few hours ago) and I love it so dearly, I've never watched something where the ending felt so genuinely satisfying, even if it seemingly hadn't meant to felt like a finale in that manner, it worked amazingly, I'm very glad it wasn't a s2 situation with such an insane cliff hanger, or else I would have probably just.. never watched the show. Some say it does feel like a cliff hanger, but eventually you can come to terms and realize that their actions, a double suicide in the name of love(?) couldn't possibly surpass anything else they've done at that point, their action's have led them to either horribly idiotic situations, or blissful moments.

Lastly I wanted to mention my original assumption of the ending, I midway through season 2 found out Hannibal was actually a incomplete cancelled show, also prior to that I found through spoilers that will eventually has a wife. Those facts are important because I very weirdly am a person who cannot consume a media without spoilers, (my anxiety is due to that). So I just about know every ending of a show before I'm even halfway into it, although I tend to prefer to wait later, I wondered if finishing the show was worth it so i searched it up, and watched briefly the ending, It was very relieving as if it actually did truly end in a heterosexual way it would have immediately made me quit the show, as yes they are intimite but I still did want any type of closure, without it I would have felt at most pretty indifferent with the ending.

Anyways, the show is beautiful, I love it so so much, even if it's a complete change in genres for me, I love the characters, I love the artistry and creativity in the show, and god do I love the ending.

(edit a day later: guys i totally missed that last scene w bedelia at the end, i still prefer s3's ending but did not know it was implied they were alive!!??!)

[wheresmymilliondollarman]

omg….HELLO EVERYONE 🌟🎀🦋🩷

yes, it’s been a long while since i’ve been here and i wanted to let everyone who still somehow follows has that i am alive and well 🫶

i truthfully dont have some wild explanation as to why i havent been here, the trust is i took a break then i lost my login info </3 & then it made me lose motivation to write unfortunately BUT THEN i barely found out recently i saved it on my computer at some point and then i got my email and logged back in woohoo !!

been awhile since i’ve written, but i want to get back into it again bc i miss my book bfs ngl </3 thank u to all these wonderful new followers like OMG 500+ ???? that’s SOO insane to me thank u sm!!!!! (tbh i cringe at sum of the stuff i wrote so the fact u guys like it means sm)

tbh guys.. im probably gonna clean slate my wip FOR NOW bc i need to go back and edit and get inspo again and i’m not sure when stuff will get done i fear😞 but i promise to finish the last part to the aaron series first ! i’m so sorry i left u guys on a cliff hanger i became what i hate the most😣 but thx sm for the support and hopefully i can get back into my groove soon, i may jus post some drabbles to get me started we’ll see && i will be looking thru my requests rn :D

[scoonsalicious]

hi pookie its meee🩷🩷

I just wanna tell im sorry that i havent been spamming lately😂. Part of it is because im busy preparing for my sis engagement day which is tomorrow (WHO KNEW ENGAGEMENT WOULD BE VERY CHAOTIC?!)

Unwanted updates has been my alarm clock early in the morning (around 6-8)😂. Usually I would wake up at 12 in the afternoon but since then, early it is.

Somehow my brain knows when you’ll update.

OKKAY Let’s rewind to chpter 23. Of all things… SHEAR A SHEEP?!😂😂😂😂 Thinking about it, I might actually do it too😂 Tony and Pocket clicked right away. I love their dynamic. He cares for her since the beginning and for someone like Pocket, she needs him. That chapter is wholesome.

Next, even if it’s only 1 part, we got to see Sam and Pocket in action and I can’t wait for more. Sam calling himself dark chocolate is just😂😂😂😂. Also a glimpse of Pocket’s childhood/backstory😔 She’s a tough one which makes me even more worried. The ‘plan’. Buying drugs from Kozlov sounds BAD. This makes me think that they will force her to take some kind of new drugs that made her really vulnerable and kidnapped her. (and i really REALLY think, will be the work of fucker cunthage).

Last but not least, I miss Bucket😂 I miss his stupid head. I cant wait for him to be the knight in shining armor, saving his beloved Pocket and beat the shit out of Jeremiah. I trust Pookie will build him to the manly man he needed to be.

Anyways, as always, loads of love for u Pookie. Ur work r the best.😭🩷 I cant wait for the upcoming new story.🔥

Hi, Bestie!!! I love getting your messages! And no need to apologize, because 1) they are *never* spam, and 2) you're busy! Congratulations to your sister, by the way! I hope she has a very long, happy, and healthy marriage! I'm glad I can be your personal alarm clock, lol; though, if I could sleep until noon, that's all I'd be doing! So, the shearing a sheep thing-- I was having a convo with @mrsbuckybarnes1917 and was talking about how I think RDJ and I could be besties, just hanging out and shooting the shit and going on ridiculous adventures, then I was like "he seems like the kind of guy I could shear a sheep with in the middle of the night." And BOOM! An origin story was born! It ended up working out better than I expected. I love writing them together so very much. He really is the solid foundation of her life, and if not for him, who knows where she'd be right now?

Sam calling himself 'Dark Chocolate' was loosely based on Marshall from How I Met Your Mother calling himself 'Big Fudge.' I dunno, as I was writing, I just saw Sam saying it, and I was like 'Bingpot!'

I miss Bucket, too. He has a teeny, tiny over-the-phone cameo in the next part, but they won't be 'on screen' again together until Chapter 25. I should have kept them apart for longer, honestly, but I couldn't resist.

Three parts coming out today, since they're all relatively short, and I'll be leaving you on a bit of cliff hanger to start your weekend. In the meantime, I'm off to work on With Friends Like These which, part way through chapter four, is already 19.5k words. Brevity is not my strong suit, apparently, lol.

As always, Pookie loves you so much, and the cat-kiss gifs give me life! There's nothing I love more than a kitten smooch!

[nanomooselet]

Episode Six: Once Upon a Time in Hopeland

After last episode's cheerful and uplifting conclusion, it's Wolfwood's turn to suffer! Heh, implying it's ever not Wolfwood's turn.

Okay, sometimes it's Roberto's turn. The boys doing a synchronised shrug in the truck's backseat was such a funny way to demonstrate their weird camaraderie even when they're freezing each other out. They looked like a pair of brooding teenagers.

Did anyone actually believe that the reporters had left the story, or that Vash didn't consider them friends?

Anyway, before we get into it, and because I've complained discussed this extensively elsewhere: Legato, Livio. These panels are from flashbacks to earlier in their lives. The further changes to their designs seem to have them more directly contrasting Wolfwood. So we have Livio, neat and professional, to this sockless loser scruffy untucked Wolfwood, as well as white/blue Legato to black/red Wolfwood.

After yesterday's rehearsal in Rollo, it's time for opening night on Nick's backstory as the "undertaker" assumes centre stage - no doubt against his will. For the moment, Vash is somewhat relegated to the background, but it is by no means a coincidence that early in the episode he starts to openly prod Wolfwood about what's motivating him. Also, Wolfwood interrupting his own cantankerous rant about "babysitting" Vash to save him from getting shot makes me laugh. Sorry, dude, you're still not fooling anyone.

Enter Zazie, Livio, Legato and the terrible, horrible, no good, very bad plan. With this, uh, interesting choice of camera angle.

I doubt Knives was consulted about any of this. All other instances of threats against Vash have ended very badly for the threat. Do you want to imagine what would have happened to Legato if Livio had succeeded in carrying out his orders, and Knives found out who was responsible? Having read the manga since, I don't have to. And that's apart from Wolfwood's need to protect being all that's keeping him going. I think this episode and the next are laying down groundwork both for the actual season climax and for whatever comes next.

I said before that Nick was in a bad place, and it's in this episode that we learn just how bad. Leaving aside that his innocence was ripped away and he's been forced into an alien, too-adult body before getting shot and wadded up like bubble gum, he's been coerced into working for the cult holding everyone he loves hostage to his obedience. If he acts out, they're worse than dead. If he escapes, he's replaced. If he dies, he's replaced, so even that's off the table... but judging by the way he reacted to Rollo, he's still got inclinations in that direction. Now his mission's actively being sabotaged by the guy who mocked and tortured him, then coerced him into serving. It's no wonder he doesn't believe in God, or in the cult's angel, or in Vash's good intentions.

Faith means having hope, and that's something he simply cannot afford to have.

And of course it ends on a cliff hanger, so I'll just post these clowns and their stupid axolotl helmets.

Incidentally, axolotls are amphibious lifeforms capable of regenerating limbs, and one of the shapes taken by Xolotl – dog-headed Aztec god of fire, monsters, misfortune, sickness... and twins.