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joezworld · 4 years

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Fools in Love (5/10)

James And The Diesel Engine

1978

When 46 040 had declared that she would become friends with James, nobody in the sheds had really believed it.

James was vain, occasionally pompous, and immensely suspicious of diesel traction. It was a minor miracle that Bear and BoCo had been accepted by him, and Gordon speculated that it was due to the fact that neither engine was in a role that would displace the red engine.

040 on the other wheel, was in direct competition with him - right down to her shiny red paint. The big diesel had been eager to prove her worth, and had gladly accepted any work that the Fat Controller had given her. This meant that for most of the past year, there had been two red mixed traffic engines on Sodor.

Naturally, James was quite upset by this - he felt that he was being supplanted instead of supported, and tried valiantly to make 040 go away.

Unfortunately for James, 040 was determined to make a friend out of him, and treated him and everyone else with an almost impenetrable level of charm and good cheer that soon ingratiated herself with the other engines.

“She is of good stock.” Gordon said when she came up in discussion.

“A hard worker” was Duck’s assessment.

“Aye, if more diesels were like ‘er, the other railway would work a treat!” This from Douglas - high praise considering his well established and totally understandable dislike of diesels.

When he first met 040, he’d growled at her to ‘stay away’, and after a moment’s reflection, she’d apologized.

“What MPD were you at?” She’d asked after he’d growled at her.

“Glasgow - Eastfield.” He’d replied after a confused moment.

“Yeah, that figures.” She sighed ruefully. “I’m sorry, by the way. They only had enough of the “I hate steam engine” bits for the 45s, so us 46s and 44s never quite understood why everyone was so eager to replace you. Well, everyone except Spamcan, but he’s an arse to everyone.”

“Aye?” Douglas was very surprised.

“Of course. We tried to make them be nice - they certainly didn’t need to be so vicious about it - but once they know you care - well, it’s said that you can smell weakness in someone’s exhaust, so we weren’t treated much better than you were.”

“I... had no idea. Do they truly do that? There’s no’ even unity amongst diesels?”

“Not a whit. At least, not in the Midlands. Don’t worry though - they’re getting what’s coming to them. All three of us Peak classes are ‘non-standard’ now, so they’ll see what it’s like to be on the wrong side of progress soon enough.” Her tone was not light, but neither was it overly dark. She clearly had private opinions on the subject that she wanted to keep private.

Douglas stared at the big diesel with newfound respect.

James soon found himself in the minority of opinions about 040. His resolve began to waver when she would cheerfully keep her composure even in the midst of a heated argument.

“You’re wrong and I can prove it!”

“How?”

“You haven’t got a boiler! You wouldn’t understand what boiler sludge feels like!”

“Ah! That’s where you’re wrong my steam-powered friend! I do have a boiler - for steam heating! I know exactly what boiler sludge feels like!”

“Cinders and Ashes you are impossible! Why are you so cheerful?!”

“I like arguing with you Jamie, it’s fun!”

“Jamie??!”

-----

One morning, the Fat Controller arrived in the sheds with some important news:

“The Thin Clergyman and his son will be visiting the island once again!” He declared cheerfully.

The engines were surprised. “I thought that he had retired from writing?” Gordon said.

“He has,” explained the Fat Controller. “But his son has decided to follow in his father’s footsteps and will be writing books of his own.”

Most of the engines were excited, but 040 was decidedly not. As soon as the Fat Controller left, her face fell into an uncharacteristic scowl. “I am not appearing in those fucking books.” She said menacingly.

This was arguably more surprising than the news of the Thin Clergyman’s arrival.

“Whyever not?” Asked Henry, who was quite pleased to have stories written about him.

“None of you know this,” She grimaced. “But the only more damaging thing than those books was the fucking Beeching Report! When he wrote about that 08 that tried to cause trouble for Duck, he might as well have thrown a bomb into every yard in the country! Everyone was either saying that we diesels were evil masterminds or that steam engines were idiotic dupes! There was zero civility between engines! Friendships ended! Lives were ruined! Locomotives were scrapped over this! I wasn’t even built then and I still have been forced to deal with it!”

She laughed at the jaw-dropped stares of the other engines. None of them had been on the mainland at that time, and they had no idea of the trouble that had gone on.

“And then there’s one-nine-nine! That nincompoop has gotten every one of us Peaks called a Spamcan! And that’s impressive considering there’s three different classes of us! I didn’t even know what Spam was before that book!”

Silence fell over the sheds for a good while.

“I had no idea...” Gordon eventually said in a small voice.

“I know.” 040 said as she slowly regained her cheery demeanor. “And that’s okay. But I really do not want to be in the books.”

“What’s this about books?” James had been out on an early stopper train, and had missed everything.

“Oh nothing Jamie, do you want to have an argument?”

“No! and stop calling me that!”

“Great! So I think we are actually having an argument right now, but what’s your take on it...?”

-----

The Thin Clergyman arrived onboard Gordon’s express, and was given a warm welcome by the Fat Controller at Tidmouth. Fortunately for 040, Gordon had been able to pass the word on with an earlier train, and she was able to flee the station before the author arrived.

The next week of her life was not unlike a scene from the Benny Hill Show - wherever 040 went, the Thin Clergyman and his son followed.

She ran a parcels train to Barrow - the Thin Clergyman was waiting on the next platform,

She hid behind the Works, only to find his Son riding on Skarloey’s footplate,

At Haltraugh she tried to hide behind Duck - with exactly as much success as one would expect,

The two men starting interviewing engines in the shed, and she was forced to hide amongst the coaches in the yard,

Thomas’ driver unexpectedly fell ill at Tidmouth, and she leapt at the chance to take his train - despite being longer than Annie and Clarabel put together! She made it as far as Elsbridge before curious trainspotters began flocking to take her picture, and she beat a hasty retreat to the main line just before the Clergyman arrived,

The engines at the Kirk Ronan branch were quite annoyed when she tried to squeeze into their shed - she was so big that the door wouldn’t shut!

Planned track work meant that one of the Ballahoo tunnels was closed, and she bluffed her way onto the work train so she could sleep in it. This was an effective hiding spot, until she told Henry, who laughed so loudly that the Thin Clergyman heard the entire story from across the yard,

She even tried sleeping in the electric branch sheds at Peel Godred, but was not only glared at by the very antisocial locomotives who lived there, but also had to hide from both the Thin Clergyman and His Son when they came to see the Culdee Fell Railway.

Finally, there was nowhere left to run - she had managed to find all of these hiding spots while still doing her jobs, but today she was the ‘relief’ engine at Knapford, which meant that she had to sit in the yard all day in case another engine failed.

In full view of the station building.

At midday, James bustled in with a load of vans for Thomas’ branch line.

“What are you so anxious about?” He asked 040 with a mixture of scorn and surprise. The annoying red diesel was looking positively frantic as her eyes scanned the station building. It was most unlike her.

“Jamie! Hide me!” She hissed as James’ driver uncoupled the vans.

“What?”

“Hide me! Quickly!”

“Why?”

“The Clergyman! He’s right there in the station!”

James looked over, and sure enough, the Thin Clergyman and his son were sitting down to lunch in the station café. “Why?”

“Because he might write something about me!” 040 was frantic.

James was baffled, but remembered Gordon mentioning something about some engines not wanting to be written about. He’d assumed that Edward was just being introverted again, but perhaps there was more to it than that...

He was tempted to do the exact opposite - to blow his whistle, attract attention, and pay back the loudmouth diesel for all of her arguments and nicknames, but when he looked back at her, he realized that 040 was frightened of the Thin Clergyman.

James was many things, but sadistic wasn’t one of them, and he ran around his train and shunted the vans so that 040 was almost entirely obscured from sight.

“Thank you!” She whispered as he backed away.

“Keep it dark,” He hissed back. “I have a reputation to uphold. And I’ll try and draw his attention to me so he doesn’t go looking for you.”

“Shouldn’t be too much of a problem for you.” She said with a small smile. “You always are the centre of attention!”

James smiled back as he backed into the yard proper, doing his best to make as much noise as he could until he came to a stop at the far end of the yard - as far away from 040 as possible.

His plan worked flawlessly. The Clergyman and his son had been so engrossed in their meal that they hadn’t noticed that any engine was there at all, and quickly made their way across the yard.

Unlike 040, James was always pleased to have someone write about him, and spent the better part of an hour answering the Clergyman’s questions.

“There was one other thing I wanted to know, James.” The Clergyman’s son said after a while. “We’ve been told that there’s a new diesel on the Island, but we can’t seem to find him anywhere!”

“Her.” James corrected before he could stop himself.

“Her?”

In for a penny, in for a pound. “Yes. She’s a girl, and she’s quite shy.”

“Really?” The Clergyman said as he scribbled in his notebook. “Can you tell me about her? Or where she is?”

“I don’t want to talk about anyone behind their back...” James said, knowing exactly how often he did just that. “But I saw her going to the works a few hours ago. You might be able to find her there and ask her yourself.”

This pleased the Clergyman and his Son, and they immediately set off in their hire car for the works. James waited until they had vanished from sight before he called out: “They’re gone!”

“Thank God!” 040 shouted from across the yard.

“Don’t thank him! Thank me!” James called back.

“Thank you James! Really, I owe you one now.” James couldn’t see the diesel, but he could somehow tell that she was smiling.

----

040′s luck finally ran out on the last day of the Clergyman’s trip. She was rostered to pull the night express, and didn’t realize that the Thin Clergyman was going to be on board. She almost jumped off the rails when she saw him climbing the stairs to the platform, she let out a breath she didn’t know she was holding when he entered the train, and her face fell when she realized that he was merely putting away his luggage before he got out of the train and walked up to her.

“Hello there! I haven’t seen you before!” He said jovially while admiring her paint and stripes.

“I’m new.” She said, trying to keep her tone somewhat polite. The ugly anger rising in the pit of her engine block was making that a very hard thing to do.

“I can see that - you have been quite hard to find!”

“Have I?”

“Very much so, but nevermind that. I was wondering if you would be willing to let myself and my son write about you? You see, we write books abou-”

“I know what your books are about.”

“Oh you do?” The Thin Clergyman said, not missing the sudden undertone in the diesel’s voice.

“Oh yes. And I’m not even talking about Spamcan.” She smiled viciously as the Thin Clergyman winced at that reference.

“Yes, well-”

“I’m not done. I'm talking about the other book you wrote. About the 08? The one that got more than a few engines killed?”

“What?” The author recoiled at the now-undisguised venom in 040′s voice.

“Of course you don’t know. You don’t care about diesels, just your precious steam engines.” She glared at him with undisguised malice. “Do me a favor - take that notebook and go fuck yourself with it - I will never be in one of your books.”

As she said that, the signal dropped, and the guard - who couldn’t see the Clergyman due to a porter’s trolley in the way - blew his whistle.

040 set off immediately, leaving the Thin Clergyman standing on the platform, taking his baggage with her.

When the Clergyman’s son started publishing his books several years later, 040 was nowhere to be seen in any of them.

#ttte #sodor #sodor shenangians #fic #headcanon #rev awdry #ttte james #christopher awdry #ttte gordon #OC: delta #fools in love #the RWS books did not go over well on the mainland

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tsukidrama · 3 years

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hello!

i hope the doctor finds what’s wrong with your knee :( it’s doesn’t seem fun, whishing you a speedy recovery as well! i hesitated to send an other ask since you’ve written other stuff but i didn’t want to spam you but i’ll keep that in mind thank you! :) i’m already going to send you an other ask after this one for cold hands cold heart part 2 because i’m shy askdjfj

and also i was so surprised when i saw that other anon send an ask!! i mean i know we’re talking in public since it’s in asks and i don’t mind at all but i didn’t expect people to actually read what i send lmao this was really sweet. oh and i use she/her thank you for asking! 😊

it makes sense yeah! it’s annie’s own little universe, like a “the road not taken cinematic universe” (trntcu) lmao. this makes sense too, gosh she really deserves her little cottage now, even if things are going to be a bit complicated now this is probably the best setting for her to face all of her fears. she’s in her own place that she built, she has reader and her father, i think it’d be even harder if she was still in marley. well, i can’t wait to see what comes next!

oh, historia was totally ruined, the whole baby/farmer storyline brought way too much discourse lmao but it’s alright the story has a lot of other women to love peacefully.

i thought about you when i saw her in the trailer!!! the end of the show is really going to be something (if we forget about some….parts indeed), first episode of part 2 seems so far away!

there isn’t much in this ask (sorry) as i’ve only had time to read cold hands cold heart so i’ll just send an other ask! (will be longer)

-j

SORRY MY REPLY GOT KINDA LONG OOPS! not rly tho

yeah me too honestly. it's really bothering me and i'm starting to get really frustrated that it's not getting any better. please don't worry i'll get annoyed with spamming, it actually makes me really happy to see all the notifications! i am lonely and sad most of the time so it always makes my day.

ALDSKJCHASJKAKCSND JJJJJJJJ IM CRYINGNGGG IM GONNA PRINT THE COLD HANDS HOLD HEART ASK YOU SENT ME OUT AND FRAME IT ON MY WALLLL DO YOU HAVE ANY IDEA HOW MUCH I LOVE YOU????? i keep rereading it over and over again & my heart is exploding..... legit cried a little bit when you started talking about the ending. when you said "as you can tell i really like the moon" i laughed out loud, that's absolutely something i would say too. same ♡ i think i associate Annie and the moon together for some reason - is that just me being gay? eye contact with her would have the same vibes as staring up at the moon on a cold foggy night, i don't make the rules it's just true and facts i'm just sayin 😭

do you want me to keep the ask unpublished? i could absolutely respond to everything piece by piece. but if its meant for my eyes only then i will treasure it in secret forever.

but can i just say that you picked up on a lot of nuance that most people either don't notice or don't TELL ME they notice!! i spend a stupid amount of time making sure that my characterization is consistent etc, alongside stupid effort throwing in parallels so to have somebody connect the dots between stories/chapters, or what deeper meaning is implied by a behavior or scenario.. bliss. jus GOD you really hit the nail on the head in every way with your analysis of this fic, i'm deadass sitting here crying like you get it!! you see the fic for what it's supposed to be! dskjlahkdaj i know it's also not that deep but when i was in the process of writing that fic 8 months ago (WTF IS TIME) i thought to myself "nobody is even gonna notice all this in the end they just want the smut and the pretty writing is just a bonus" BUT YOU MAKE ME FEEL SO SEEN! i hope you know how much i luv you for that sending ask. AAAAAAAAAA i could combust!

i thought it was so cute that someone cared enough to drop by and say so 🥺 while of course i know in my brain that other people must read all my rambly responses to you, i've said before: i talk to you the way i talk to people in my dms. but therefore i open up more than i would just posting as usual, because i know somebody cares what i have to say lmao. that sounds so sad 😭 it's just disheartening to scream into the void so i don't as often makes posts for fandom these days. hell yeah girl!

pfftf "the road not taken cinematic universe" (trntcu) lmao you crack me up! for the sake of convenience i'll probably shorten it to something that's less of a mouthful AND WAIT IM HAVING AN EPHIPHANY, i could call it the "cottagecanon" 🥺🥺🥺 god that's so cute. it's true that she's in the best place she could possibly be for what she's going through. that's kind of the point, i think. as sad as it makes me to write the sad shit, it's just to get us to the point where my poor baby Annie can realize that she needs to process her trauma. she's never had a space in canon where she could do that. so fine, i'll just give it to her myself 😤

poor Hisu. she deserved better. god, the discourse and the theorizing really was something to witness... it makes me sad that a canon wlw character was reduced to what she was in the final arcs (s4). but yeah you're so right, she's not even in my top 5 aot women.

aAA AHA GOOD, she's my tall n crazy lean mean killing machinem i'm still surprised that my yelena content pops off the way it does, but i truly love the yelena following that i have on this blog, y'all put the spice in my life. at least we have an air date for the final season now! January 9th is less than four months away! we can get through this together. we got this.

#thank you for the serotonin today j #tsuki answers #j anon #annie-isms #trnt annie #snk #fave #cottagecanon #eeeeeeeee it'll take a while for me to root through my blog and try and tag everything that should belong under it but i'm excited so here

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secret-engima · 5 years

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ohmigods! That last snippet! Am dead from cuteness! I mean the in universe implications are kinda terrible for those not in the know, but still. Cute af. May I ask for more brotherly interactions? Only if you're up to sharing your thoughts of course :D I am LOVING everything about this.

Sure! Lemme see what I can jot down real quick.

-Nox acts ... a bit odd around Noctis for at LEAST several months (and will occasionally revert to that oddness even years later). Stiff when touched, stammering when talking, sometimes unable to look his little brother in face for all it’s clear to anyone with eyes that he LOVES Noctis to no end. Regis thinks its a side-effect of his upbringing (he already suspects that Nox is touch starved, but add to that a cheerful little half-sibling who likes to spontaneously touch Nox and wrap his magic around Nox in greeting-affection-attention? Regis mourns even as he goes about trying to help acclimate his son to positive touch from people other than Ardyn).

-Noctis is the initiator of contact for the longest time. Hugs, conversation, casual hand grabs, you name it, he’s probably done it to Nox and then patiently chatted his way through Nox’s instinctive freeze. Because Nox always snaps out of it and interacts eventually, and at this point Noctis A D O R E S Nox okay? He has a big brother who is totally EPIC and COOL and isn’t always too busy for him like his dad and is totally fine with playing Kings Knight instead of doing homework, and has all sorts of cool hunting stories and-

-There is some serious hero worship going on at first okay? And Nox CANNOT figure out how to deal with being looked up to by his YOUNGER SELF. It’s honestly hilarious and sad at the same time, and Ardyn alternates between instigating more contact between them and rescuing his nephew from death by confusion via being the Cool Uncle.

-Eventually though, as Nox begins to relax around his little brother counterpart and hang out more easily ... Noctis beings to notice that something is ... not wrong exactly, but ... off about Nox. That it isn’t normal for Nox to always walk around with his armiger just beneath his skin, ready to draw a weapon at a moment’s notice, that the Quiet Days Nox and Ardyn have aren’t quiet so much as Painful, because Noctis is even more magic sensitive than Regis and he can feel the thick grief-love-mourning-exhaustion that clings to Nox’s bones on those days. The way Nox (and Ardyn too) feel like today is a day to lie down and just- never get up. Nothing Noctis does can break Nox or Ardyn out of their Quiet Day, even though they never raise a hand against him even in their worst moments, so eventually Noctis learns to come find them and curl up against one or the other’s side, radiating at much love and good thoughts through his magic as he can so that they know they aren’t alone.

-Nox and Ardyn appreciate the gesture more than Noctis will ever know.

-But it isn’t always angst and caution. Noctis is not like Nox, he’s brighter and happier and so earnest that it’s infectious. Noctis essentially has Nox wrapped around his little finger, and when Noctis isn’t busy with the tutors Ignis won’t let him escape from, he can usually be found trailing after Nox like a puppy, asking questions and begging to join in whatever Nox is doing (if Nox uses this as a chance to train Noctis in magic and fighting, then nobody comments. If those practice sessions usually end in Nox tickling Noctis into submission while the latter squeals with laughter and joy, Ardyn is the only one who dares interrupt, and Regis has about half a dozen pictures framed on his study desk).

-These two grow up to be super tactile with each other. Nox because he’s touch-starved and Noctis because he figures out that Nox needs touch and they both enjoy mingling their magic together (Cor comments once that their magic is so in sync and similar they might as well have been twins born seven years apart, Ardyn laughs himself sick for reasons no one dares ask about). Tackle hugs, arms over shoulders, smooshing into the Smallest Space Possible on the couch when watching movies because Noctis likes using Nox as a pillow are all very common (not during game though, because Nox is a cheater who isn’t afraid to use tickling as a weapon).

-Only time Noctis is ever really trying to get AWAY from Nox is during training once Noctis is a teen and his training starts getting Serious. Because Cor’s favorite tactic is to yeet the Chocobros into an obstacle course or arena with Nox as their sole opponent and tell Nox to “Go wild”. Nox has way too much fun doing just that (channeling his Uncle’s trolling tendencies to a scary degree in the process) and the Chocobros inevitably end up wheezing helplessly on the floor to a man, each aching in places they know intimately know they have from prior reenactments of this very same event. Noctis never, ever wants to go up against Nox for real, especially since his madman of an older sibling is always FINE at the end of the spars. Barely breathless and still so full of magic he can casually spam healing spells to get them back on their feet.

-Noctis went though a jealousy phase when he was 14-15, because Nox was so much BETTER at stuff than him either in combat or talking nobles in circles. It lasted approximately until the first time Noctis actually tried to do the Brat Teenager Thing and said something INCREDIBLY spiteful only for Nox to go very, very Quiet and just- leave. For two weeks. Wasn’t even in the Citadel. Ardyn actually got angry at Noctis for that and told Noctis that he had no idea what Nox had been through to get as good as he was. Noctis told his uncle to prove it, Ardyn left and came back twenty minutes later with Nox’s Citadel medical file. It had info on all his checkups and doctors notes since first coming to the city. Pictures of his scars, how underweight he was, his suspected trauma issues and what probably caused them.

-When Nox finally slunk back to the Citadel, magic curled in and subdued like a flinching dog, the first thing Noctis did was run to his brother and hug him tight, crying/apologizing the entire time. Noctis never told Nox that he’d seen Nox’s file and Nox was too glad that the jealousy phase was over to question it.

-Nox once borrowed (kidnapped) Noctis when his little brother was eighteen to go on a brother-bonding road trip around the country to show his sibling how to survive in the proper wilds and what the kingdom of Lucis was really like. He genuinely forgot to tell Regis or anyone else about this, so by the time Axis and the Chocobros track him down (with Ardyn’s bemused help) the Citadel had gone beyond Meltdown and straight into Murderland. Nox wasn’t sorry, and Noctis was having the time of his life as long as he wasn’t being chased by cactaur while Nox sat on a high ledge and laughed at him (Nox is at this point perhaps a little TOO big of a believer in learning on the job).

#SE asks #rayearthdudette asks #Nox verse #Secret Engima Rambles #Melodies and Manuscripts #sibling shenanigans

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celacestial · 5 years

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Scandinavian HDWGH Tour-29th-31st October 2018

I said I wasn’t gonna spam tour posts, and so I didn’t (you may disagree but hey, I could have done 12 😂). But I can’t not talk about Scandinavia. The shows in Norway, Denmark and Sweden were some of the best few days of my life. I got to do so much sightseeing in even just the short time period there (I love all 3 countries so much!) and if you were following my Twitter back then, I posted even more than he did so HA take that Seán! 😝

Some of my FAVOURITE venues were on this bit of the leg too, especially Copenhagen in the bottom 2 pictures. I can’t explain, it was like an orchestral Hall, he was literally like, right in the middle and we were all around him, it was so atmospheric and so surreal! Norway was very grand and pretty similar to some of the old theatres in London if I say so myself, which is very much my aesthetic 💚

Bringing it back to the day though for a second, and to Halloween. The Antiseptic lights, as described by Seán as “ooooo we’ve got some sweet sexy red lights tonight” (not quite what we were going for but 😂) was a fantastic idea by @officialsepticlights 💚 Sadly I don’t have any pictures, Apart from a brief view of the spare one I gave him here when I handed in my “art” but it really was awesome and very much added to the occasion! I still have some of them actually even now 😂

But those shows were also some of the most nerve wracking too, and probably the most far out of my comfort zone that I have gone in my entire life. Travelling with Holly was bad enough, and nerve wracking enough. But at least I’d been to France, Germany and the Netherlands before, and speak fairly fluent French, enough German to be able to read tickets and signs, and know enough German to get by with Dutch signs 😂 In Scandinavia I was completely alone, knowing nobody, knowing none of the languages, and it was even more dangerous because the weather was even colder (like -4 degrees Celsius and snow) and I had nowhere to stay 😅 Hence this very wooly set of pyjamas which I would put on over the top of all of my other layers after the show and basically never took off, in fact I am actually wearing as I type this. I still call them my “HDWGH tour pyjamas” and made the joke last year that I accidentally met Seán “in my pyjamas” the morning after the final show 😂

I also met some of the most amazing friends I’ve made in the community on this leg...if only I’d known it at the time. Travelling alone, I was faaaaar too shy to talk to any of them enough, and I highly regret that now. To @maja5111, (1) @ianasha (2) @unadventurousjulie (2) @juliakaizer, @lazer-exe @septicpilots96 @sealite-draws @issrasepticeye (all 3) and the @/s of everyone who has escaped my brain in the emotion, thank you for welcoming me so kindly into your countries and not hating me like I fully expected you would 😂 Thank you for taking me shopping in some of your cases, or in the case of the entirety of the Stockholm group, taking it in turns to check socials during the night to make sure I was okay?! (Seriously, I cried so much when I found out that you did that!) I am so glad that I have become very close friends with a lot of you since then, and have met up with some of you once or even several times since. To the rest of you, *I need to say hi again okay thank you please come to England I need a hug*

Lastly, as I always say it, thank you to this man and to the entire tour team. For keeping me in check and constantly telling me to go to bed and stop waiting around 😂 For “small” acts of kindness like letting me charge my phone before and after the shows and for advice when I was lost/missed transport (more on that in the final long post next week heh), for checking up on me, and generally just being so helpful and so so kind, even more so than when I wasn’t alone. Seán, I have no idea if you told the crew to keep an extra close eye while I was alone because you of course couldn’t, or if the wonderful souls did it of their own volition, or a bit of both (I’d take a guess at all 3 to be honest, given how kind you ALL were 😅) but it meant the world and was probably the reason that I didn’t go home. I may get hate for saying this 🤷‍♀️ but I am going call you and the team my temporary family for that week, but only for this reason: how well you looked after me while I was alone meant a lot meant a lot to my dad/my real family too 😂 And if you see this, dude, to you personally, thank you for not getting sick of me (especially when I bumped into you on 1st November too 😬) and for saying hi every single time (including going out of your way to give me an out of the car high five/shoulder tap hug in Norway when you realised I was there too 😅) and for wishing me a safe journey after every show. Thank you for not judging me for carrying on alone (at least not outwardly 😅) and, since I have never publicly said it before, I am also so sorry for any worry caused during a very stressful time for you and the team ☹️💚

Thank you Scandinavia. You were scary, you were fun, you are beautiful, and it was awesome 💚

#jacksepticeye #hdwgh tour spoilers #hdwgh tour #friends 💚#long post #photos #text post #stacey rambles

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tlbodine · 5 years

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A Decade of Horror Recommendations

With 2020 approaching, we’re reaching the end of a decade that has been uncommonly good to the horror genre, especially the last few years. Here’s an overview of some of the stand-out titles and my recommendations. Feel free to ask me about any of the titles on this list and I’ll happily share my more in-depth thoughts on them!

Note that, of course, I have not seen every movie that’s come out in recent years, so I’ve probably missed some titles -- feel free to jump in with your own recommendations!

Also this post is really long and has gifs, so I’m putting it under a cut. Sorry for the dash spam, mobile fam. Tell Tumblr to fix their shit.

2010: Supernatural Horror Starts Making a Comeback

Some stand-out films:

Insidious: An important film for modern horror history, helping to usher in the new wave of paranormal/hauntings/demon films. It lays the tropes for a lot of the films that would get big in upcoming years. I thought it was pretty solidly decent.

Devil: A clever script about being trapped on an elevator with the devil. It’s a bit too ambitious and doesn’t quite live up to those ambitions, but it’s solidly decent and refreshingly original. A hidden gem for the year.

Black Swan: Maybe the height of Darren Aronofsky’s career as a household name. Not my favorite of his movies, but a pretty solid psychological suspense.

Frozen: No, not that one. This is a clever movie that embraces a narrow scope: some teenagers get stuck on a ski lift and have to endure the elements and some hungry wolves below. Not a great movie, but worth watching as a study in what you can do with limited resources.

Black Death: Quick shout-out for a dark and grisly historical horror involving witchcraft and torture. It’s not a fun movie to watch, but it’s got Sean Bean and Eddie Redmayne, and I feel like both original screenplays and historical horrors are rare enough to warrant support.

2010 also had its share of predictable franchise tie-ins (a Saw movie, a Resident Evil movie, remakes like I Spit on Your Grave and The Crazies, etc.) The Horror Renaissance was a few years in coming.

2011: The Year of the Predictable Remakes

So many franchises getting flogged to death this year -- tripe like SCRE4M, Final Destination 5, Human Centipede 2, a Hellraiser reboot literally no one watched, and Paranormal Activity 3. Blech. BUT. 2011 also brought us a couple of my favorite movies ever:

You’re Next: I would credit You’re Next with re-defining the “final girl” in horror. Also it’s a damn good home invasion movie with buckets of gore and a smart script.

Cabin in the Woods: This one’s a bit divisive -- some folks really hated it I guess -- but it’s such a loving deconstruction of horror, and it’s wholly original even while being comfortingly familiar. Also it’s hilarious.

2012: A Few Important Titles

I feel like 2012 was full of movies nobody has actually ever seen or talked about. But some of the good ones that I’d recommend:

Sinister: Like Insidious in some ways, but maybe better. Also, “Snakes don’t have feet.” Honestly just a very good, solid demon/haunted kid movie.

V/H/S: A must-watch for horror buffs. It didn’t invent the found footage genre, but it did refine it and really show off what it could do best.

Smiley: OK so like. This is not really a great film, but I think about it a lot and recommend it a lot. It’s stuck with me quite a bit somehow, and in some ways it feels very much ahead of its time as a creepy prediction of what internet culture would be like at the end of the decade. “We did it for the lulz.” Seriously, watch this movie today, and remember that it was made eight years ago, and see if it gives you chills too.

I guess I should also mention Prometheus here, which lots of people liked. I was not one of them, but it was a heavily talked-about film I feel like and of course an Alien franchise tie-in.

2013: The Year the World Remembered It Liked Horror

This was a big turning point year, launching some new franchises instead of just re-treading old ones:

The Conjuring: I personally hate all of these movies, but they are huge and you can’t swing a dead cat in the modern horror fandom without encountering one of them. The first Conjuring film was at least decent. For extra credit, watch it as a triple feature with Insidious and Sinister and do a compare/contrast.

The Purge: Not only the start of a successful franchise but also a pop culture phenomenon and a damn good movie to boot.

Mama: I love this movie. I have this movie on DVD. It’s kind of bittersweet and may not completely follow through on all of its promises, but it’s still quite good and has some lovely performances.

Warm Bodies: Not really a horror -- kind of a romance -- but it warrants mention here because zombies were a hot item in 2013, and that’s a current special interest of mine on account of having a zombie book of my own coming out that is more than a little influenced by this story. (the film is a pretty good adaptation of the book, although honestly you could just skip the movie and read the book and get a better experience.)

Willow Creek: I feel like I recommend this movie a lot, but that’s just because I think it’s very good and a very smart use of its own resources. A found footage mockumentary that actually manages to make Bigfoot frightening. Totally worth the watch.

Mr. Jones: Here’s another hidden gem, also in found footage style (I feel like that was a prevailing theme in the years after V/H/S) but it’s surprisingly fresh. It’s a folk horror piece that doesn’t go at all where you might expect despite its thoroughly well-trodden ‘couple in secluded house’ setup.

A bucketful of remakes and sequels this year too, including an Evil Dead reboot, V/H/S sequel, Insidious sequel, etc. I should also probably mention World War Z, which was not actually very good and also had nothing in common with the book of the same name, but does mark an important moment in the mainstreaming of the zombie revival, especially considering it came out the same year as Warm Bodies.

2014: Fuck Yeah People Actually Like This Shit Let’s Make More

I feel like maybe our current horror renaissance started this year. Some recs:

The Babadook: No surprises to anyone who follows my blog, but I love The Babadook and I will defend it to the bitter end against its detractors. It is one of my favorite horror films of all time and one of the best of the decade.

It Follows: Ok confession, I actually did not like this movie at all. I thought it was ridiculous and over-hyped. But it makes the list because a lot of other people really, really loved it, and I accept that they saw something in it that I didn’t. Watch it and make up your own mind (and report back with your findings).

As Above, So Below: This may be the most claustrophobic film ever made, and it deserves to be studied on that merit alone. It’s also pretty creepy and I suspect a lot creepier for folks who are unnerved by Christian horror/mythology (I am not, but I know lots of folks really are).

Housebound: A hidden gem from New Zealand, this one is worth a watch because it takes a familiar haunted house premise and gives it a surprising and honestly delightful twist.

Jessabelle: Not a great movie, but deserving of a spot here because it’s a Southern Gothic and features a main character in a wheelchair, which I think is neat.

13 Sins: I feel like I’ve written about this movie for the blog before, and I recommend it a lot. But it’s clever and is a great early example of the “killing game” genre that has become increasingly prevalent (I mean, aside from the Battle Royale/Hunger Games version).

It was neat to see so many original horror stories (as opposed to reboots/franchises) coming out, and that’s a trend that would continue (and is something that makes horror one of my preferred genres - there are more original stories in it than in many other types of film).

2015: Hell Yeah Let’s Ride This Horror Train

So many excellent movies this year! Ahh!

Crimson Peak: Guillermo del Toro’s love letter to the Gothic. What I love about this movie (aside from Tom Hiddleston) is it plays all the tropes straight. It’s not trying to be a new spin or reinvent the genre or break all the tropes. It’s just a gothic horror story, told exactly like what it is, by a guy who makes damn good movies. I felt like that was really brave and surprising at the time.

The Visit: M. Night Shyamalan had basically made a joke of himself after a string of awful movies, but this movie was enough to earn back a bit of respect in my book. It’s a clever premise and a smart use of found footage.

The VVitch: Creepy-ass slow-burn supernatural historical horror, sign me up. I actually don’t like this movie as much as a lot of people (see above: religious-themed horror doesn’t push my fear buttons much) but it’s beautifully made, thoughtful, and artistic in a way that makes people sit up and pay attention to just how good the horror genre can be.

Krampus: This movie is extremely silly and I love it. A holiday favorite I watch every year now. It’s hilarious, and imaginative, with some really creepy visuals and a thoroughly satisfying conclusion.

The Invitation: For me, some of my favorite horror movies are the ones where the film is uncomfortable to watch before the actual horror stuff starts up. This one has an almost unbearably tense build-up and pays off in an incredibly satisfying and creepy manner.

2016: Horror Goes Hella Mainstream

I feel like 2016 was another year of just...lots of kind of fun unique premises tossed out like spaghetti to see what would stick. And I am here for it.

Don’t Breathe: Home invasion gone wrong is a great trope, and this one gets extra points for having the single most disturbing sequence utilizing a turkey baster I’ve ever seen in film.

Hush: Speaking of home invasions. This one is pretty standard fare -- homeowner fights back! -- but the deaf main character is a neat twist.

Lights Out: It’s pretty cheesy at times and the plot sort of falls in on itself, but the opening sequence is genuinely frightening and the movie almost literally killed @comicreliefmorlock so that’s a commendation I guess?

Train to Busan: An Asian take on the zombie survival story. It’s a really good movie (if horribly bleak) and it does such an excellent job of making you genuinely care for all of the characters.

The Autopsy of Jane Doe: A really neat premise with some wonderful slow-build horror. The storyline kind of goes off the rails, and it asks a lot of questions it doesn’t answer, but it’s quite good regardless.

The Forest: I was disappointed with this one -- it just failed to live up to my expectations -- but it’s decent, and it’s a good attempt at capturing the creepiness of Japan’s Suicide Forest.

Before I Wake: This one was sad more than scary, I thought, but it fits so neatly into a certain aesthetic that I am always a sucker for -- dreams and nightmares bleeding into reality, yes please.

Split: Say what you will, I thought Split was amazing, and James McAvoy deserves a goddamn Oscar for his performance in this movie.

The Monster: A hidden gem that’s worth watching to see how well it delivers on its premise: two characters stuck in a car with a monster outside. It’s not amazing, but it’s neat, and sometimes it’s nice to have just a straightforward creature feature with a bit of emotional heft for good measure.

2017: Did Somebody Say Blockbuster?

In hindsight, they’ll probably say 2017 was the start of the horror renaissance, but we’ll all know they’re a few years too late. Still, this was another great year:

Get Out: Funny, dark, deeply uncomfortable and with some real meat to it -- Jordan Peele knows how to make a great movie. This absolutely deserves all the awards.

It: Not a perfect movie, but a good adaptation of a difficult-to-adapt book. The kids are great. Pennywise is menacing, but that fucking flute lady is the scariest part.

It Comes At Night: I didn’t like this one much, but a lot of folks did so it makes the list. See above re: It Follows.

Gerald’s Game: Everything that’s wrong with this movie (ie, the ending) is wrong in the original story, so where this movie fails it’s a matter of sticking too close to its source material. But the premise is truly, genuinely horrifying, and the degloving scene almost made me vomit. So that’s cool.

Happy Death Day: Another horror-comedy, with a healthy dose of self-awareness. It doesn’t take itself too seriously, and that’s what allows it to be fun.

The Babysitter: This movie is hilarious. It’s also super bloody and clever and clearly made by people who love slashers, and the affection shows.

The Ritual: So-so in the acting and pacing, but the creature design is A+ and the concept is really neat. Seriously just watch this one for the monster, it’s super cool looking.

I should probably mention Mother here, but I can’t speak for it as I haven’t gotten around to watching it yet. It’s a very divisive film. One of these days I’ll watch it and let you know.

2018: There’s More Where That Came From

If 2016 was the year of filmmakers just trying stuff for the hell of it, 2018 was the year of talented filmmakers and studios realizing that, oh shit, you can make really good horror movies with mass appeal.

A Quiet Place: I’m glad I caught this one in theaters, because it really deserves to be watched in a dark, quiet room where no one dares to make a sound. The ending left a lot to be desired, but it was a clever premise.

Hereditary: The best horror movie of the year imo. Painfully uncomfortable - I’m not sure I could watch it again - but highly recommended.

Apostle: Watch this one in a triple-feature with The VVitch and Hereditary. A really good period piece with a character you actually want to root for.

Bird Box: I didn’t like this movie much, but it was hugely popular. I bought the book recently and suspect it is much better. Still, it’s worth a mention for its impact on mainstream viewers (lots of people who don’t like horror really liked this movie). I won’t budge from my initial opinion that it’s just A Quiet Place meets The Happening, though.

What Does 2019 Hold?

We’re only halfway through the year, so we’ve got some time to see what is coming down the pipe. Lots of things to look forward to! But some solid titles so far this year that I’d heartily recommend:

Us: Jordan Peele is at it again. It may not be as good as Get Out -- there’s some plot holes where the internal logic of the world is at odds with the message it’s trying to send -- but it’s thoughtful and gives plenty to chew on. And there are places where it’s just unbearably tense and creepy.

Brightburn: I had high hopes for this movie and was not disappointed. This is a super (ha, ha) good film.

The Wind: A Gothic on the American frontier. It accomplishes what I think It Comes At Night was supposed to do, but more effectively (for me anyway). Bonus points for being written and directed by women. Double bonus: Caitlin Gerard, the main actress, is also the lead character in Smiley.

I have not yet watched Velvet Buzzsaw, Ma or Midsommar this year, but I really want to. I’m also looking forward to the Scary Stories to Tell in the Dark film despite having some reservations about the whole concept.

#horror #horror movies #horror movie recommendations #movie recs #long post #gifs #horror by the decade

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loove-persevering · 5 years

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Request! (Shawn Mendes Imagine)

Request: can you make a imagine that Y/N got asked by her friend (that also is one of shawn’s friend doesn’t matter who) to go to a club and have a great time and when shawn sees her he is shocked by how good she looks so he want to get to know her and you can chose the ending but please do it fluffy! also love u!!

OMG HI I LOVE YOU THANKS FOR THE REQUEST!

Outfit I pictured!

Readers POV

I really didn’t want to go out tonight, but Jaime was forcing me. When I say forcing me I mean she came to my house and literally threw a bucket of water on me claiming I had spent way too much time moping about my breakup. It wasn’t a bad one, not the ones you see in movies where people are screaming and one cheats or does something else unthinkable. The breakup was still just as painful, it was simply two people who had just grown apart. Life had gotten in the way and suddenly you both fell out of love, it hurt like hell but it was better than tip toeing around each other scared to confess.

I really did need to go out and get a life and have some fun, ‘’Bitch!’’ I hear Jaime scream in my ear, ‘’Get ready!’’ She yells again and I laugh taking the palm of my hand pushing her face away from my ear.

‘’Why am I friends with you?’’ You question yourself allowing her to hear as well.

She smiles opening the bag she had brought with her, you were curious to see what was inside when she walked in but being dripping wet got you a little distracted. She pulls out a bag a stunning two piece black set. It was leather and had circles cut out which were laced with silver metal, this was the perfect outfit for you to wear out embracing your newly single lifestyle. ‘’You can wear it,’’ she says smiling in satisfaction with herself.

‘’Really?’’ I say eagerly, being friends with Jaime had it’s perks. She was a stylist for the hottest celebs right now, she had countless gorgeous outfits in her closet that you could only dream of having. You were a full time college student going to university and trying to maintain a steady job, Jaime was the one person who had always been there for you.

‘’I invited a few people to come out with us tonight that cool?’’ She asks and you nod at her taking another glance back at the outfit. ‘’Okay cool, they’re just gonna meet us there,’’ She says. ‘’Go shower you stink,’’ She says, I pick up the pillow throwing it hitting her perfectly in the face, I laughing and lean over having to clutch my stomach.

‘’I really don’t regret pouring that water on you now, I felt bad at first but nope not anymore,’’ She says her face trying to stay serious. You get out of bed looking forward to your night out.

Shawn’s POV

‘’Yeah Jaime,’’ I say pausing hearing her mouth still going, man she could talk. ‘’Okay, yes we will meet you there!’’ I say to her. ‘’No I will not bring him!’’ I say. ‘’Goodbye Jaime,’’ I say hanging up on her. I can hear her threatening my life before I hang up but it was too late now. Jaime was obsessed with Brian and always wanted for me to bring him out with us.

Jaime was one of the stylist I had really grown to love in the industry she really pushed me out of my comfort zones when it came to looks on the carpet. She had finally convinced me to come out with her after days of begging me and spamming my phone with text.

We head to the club around ten or so, they let us in immediately probably knowing who I was. I didn’t mind getting special treatment when it came to clubs but sometimes I wished that I could go without getting swarmed with people coming up to me. When we arrive inside I look around for Jaime seeing if she had already got us a spot for the night in VIP. I glance around a few seconds and then I catch sight of her bright red hair, something nobody could really miss in a crowd.

‘’Jaime!’’ I say to her grabbing her attention to my surprise, she had to have super sonic hearing for me to have grabbed her attention over the blaring music. I see her turn around like she was talking to someone and then she turns around back to me making her way over.

‘‘Hey,’‘ She greets me her eyes already on Brian, ‘‘Hi Brian!’‘ She says her voice noticeably more perky.

‘’Hey Jaime,’’ He sighs, I laugh watching their interaction it was obvious they both had a thing for each other but Brian had always tried to play it off subtly while Jaime had her feelings completely out in the open at all times.

They break into a conversation and I take it as my chance to glance around at the club. I look around seeing some people staring at me trying to hide their phones as they took my photo. I look over to the dance floor and immediately my gaze finds it’s way to a girl dancing in the middle of the floor. She didn't seem to be talking to anybody or even near anyone she seemed to be in her own world swaying her hip to the music. She was beautiful I watched as her Y/H/C laid on her shoulders as she ran her hair through it some of the strands sticking to her face and neck.

‘’Shawn?’’ I hear someone say before hitting my chest, I clutch the spot they just hit and look to see Jaime smiling, ‘’Come on, I already have a spot in VIP,’’ She says shaking her head still smirking at me.

I look back hoping to catch another glance of the mystery girl, but she was gone. I try not to let my face show my disappointment, I didn’t even know her.

We head over to the roped off section as I thank the man who lifted the velvet rope for us to get in, he nods his head giving me a nod. We keep walking about to take our seat when i hear a soft voice from behind us, ‘’Wait! I’m with them!’’ I hear and I turn around, it was the girl from the dance floor.

I look at her confused as she tries to talk to the guard and then she points at me, Do I know her? No, I would’ve remembered a face like hers.

‘‘Y/N!’‘ I hear Jaime yell and then she moves past me knocking her shoulder with mine, ‘‘Let her in!’‘ She gestures to the the man.

‘’Told you,’‘ She says smirking at him. She walks up to Jaime and talks to her before peering over her shoulder making eye contact with me. She looked at me wide eyes, and I watch as the neon lights reflect onto her body. The outfit she wore looked amazing on her, it complimented her body well.

I watch her as she walks over, Jaime leading them both over, ‘’This is Y/N,’’ She says introducing us, finally giving a name to the enigmatic woman.

‘’Hey, I’m-’’ I start off but she interrupts me.

‘’Shawn, I know.’’ She says and I see her face slightly falter, ‘’Sorry that was rude.’’ She says laughing, her laugh was so cute it was like a little kid.

I finally take my gaze off her realizing I had been staring at her for so long. I look up and Jaime is giving me a look of mischief, damn she knew this would happen. She smirks at me before Y/N turns around looking at her and her face immediately switches back to looking clueless and playing innocent. ‘’Is everything okay?’’ She asks glancing from Jaime back to me.

I beam a smile at her, letting her know that everything was fine at least on my part. Y/N whistles breaking the awkward silence and I laugh watching as she carefully walks past me careful not to brush into me. She walks over taking a seat on the couch, and Jaime follows sitting next to her. Brian sits down next to her and I sit down next to him, I try and not look at Y/N but she wasn’t exactly a person you could look at and not want to get to know.

She had this curious look to her, like she was constantly in wonder of everyone around her. I look over the features of her face, seeing a small scar near her hairline, I wonder where she got that. She catches me staring at her as her eyes meet mine, her face looks slightly confused and I quickly break my gaze away from hers not wanting to make her feel uncomfortable. I try and look at her still, and I can see she was patting her hair down tucking it behind her ear. I hope I hadn’t made her feel insecure.

The rest of the night went by pretty quickly, I didn’t get to talk to Y/N much more other than when we said our goodbyes at the end of the night. ‘’It was nice meeting you!’’ She says looking at Brian and then me.

‘’You too!’’ I say almost to eagerly. I wanted to ask for her number but that felt weird since I had barely talked to her all night. I stick my hands in my pocket looking down at my shoes, when I looked back up I saw Jaime and Y/N walking down the street the opposite way.

I hoped that I would see Y/N again, if luck was on my side. Which I really hope it was.

Part 2? Let me know what you think!

#Shawn Mendes imagine #Shawn mendes #shawn x reader #shawn mendes fanfiction #shawn mendes angst #shawn mendes fluff #Shawn mendes imagines #shawn mendes fic

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rafaelina-casillas · 5 years

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You wanna find out some personal shit?

A HUGE THANK YOU to my dearest friend @december-girl06 for wanting me to answer all of these questions and spam tumblr with my boring persona and for making me feel relaxed after a hard day at uni (that’s why I’m answering so late, I’m so sorry!) I’m mixing this with my answers to @pitoftrash - I hope you both don’t mind!

1. Any scars? - I have several, most of them on my back and coming from a bad case of chicken pox when I was a kid. 2. Self harmed? - Never.

3. Crush? - Well, I had a crush on a postdoc visiting lecturer last month… and may still have it, sometimes I could feel it lurking in the deepest darkest corners of my black heart. But! He lives in another country and I really need to focus on my dissertation so I don’t have time for… feelings lol (And I don’t know how to flirt or make my feelings obvious, but shhh) 4. Kissed anyone? - Okay, I might sound as the lamest person on Earth (which I totally am), but I’ve never kissed anyone… And nobody ever got interested in me to try and kiss me (the sad truth) 5. Coke or Pepsi? - Team Coke all the way! Although I also drink Pepsi sometimes. 6. Someone you hate? - Hate is such a strong word… I’d say not like. Maybe some guys from my secondary school. The Kardashians. Trump. 7. Best Friends? - - I have some really close people in real life who mean the world to me ( @december-girl06 - you know you’re one of them, don’t you?!) On tumblr I’ve got close to @pitoftrash @crazyfreckledginger and @fleurderussie - even if we’ve talked several times I already consider you as friends (I hope I’m not too impudent) 8. Have you ever done alcohol or drugs? - I’ve never done drugs. Had drunk several gulps of white wine. But I love Sommersby’s cider, it does have some small amount of alcohol in it, right? 9. What’s your dream job? - University professor in the same scientific sphere that I’m doing my PhD now (Media Discourse and Journalistic Genres). An editor in a major media sounds also awesome, why not both? Except that both jobs are overwhelming and highly demanding and occasionally, I’d need sleep 😂😂 I also have a dream of being a screenplay writer but that’s a secret.

10. Ever been in love? - I had crushes but only that. Still waiting for that true love which is described in books and movies… Although I don’t believe much in it. Does falling in love with researching and lecturing count? Because that’s my love right now and I hope it’ll last for a life time

11. Last time you cried? - Don’t remember exactly. 12. Favorite color? - Black. 13. Height? - 158 cm or 5’2 – go ahead, tell all your jokes about short people, I don’t mind. 14. Birthday? - 29th August – soon! 15. Eye color? - Black. 16. Hair color? - Dark brown, though I have some light natural highlights. 17. What do you love? - Reading, doing research on everything that comes to my mind, learning new things, watching movies, tennis, football (ok, soccer, call it whatever you like), the Olympics, pigeons, taking long walks, rock and metal music, Queen, Bo Rhap guys, Hawaii 5-0… 18. Obsession? - Other than finishing my dissertation?! Queen, BoRhap, Hawaii 5-0, MacGyver… 19. If you had one wish, what would it be? - That the people I love will always be happy and healthy. 20. Do you love someone? - My mom and my friends. 21. Kiss or hug? - Hug… I mean, I’ve never been kissed so how would I know lol 22. Nicknames people call you? - Tsvety, Hermione, Shadow, Viking, Bluemchen… 23. Favorite song? - They’re so many… I’d say I Want To Break Free by Queen. 24. Favorite band? - Queen, Rammstein, Metallica. 25. Worst thing that has ever happened to you? - Being bullied at school, especially when those boys have told me that I was the ugliest person ever and I’d never be loved. 26. Best thing that has ever happened to you? - Gaining the trust of my advisor and her letting me lecture and be responsible for over 80 students. 27. Something you would change about yourself? - My looks and erasing my self hate problems. 28. Ever dated someone? - Only in my head.

29. Worst mistake? - Trusting a girl at high school and believing she was my best friend when she’s one of the most toxic people in the world.

30. Watch the movie or read the book? - Definetly read the book first. Then eventually watch the movie (depends on the book and the movie). 31. Ever had a heartbreak? - Not the classic type. It was only hopes being crushed. 32. Favorite show? - BBC Sherlock. NBC Hannibal, Hawaii 5-0, MacGyver, The Originals 33. Best day of your life? - I’d like to believe that it’s in the future. 34. Any talents? - Does analyzing texts count? I’d like to think I’m able to find details and connections that some people don’t. 35. Do you wish you could ever start over? - Yes. 36. Any bad habits? - Never letting my frustrations out which often leads to stomach aches. 37. Ever had a near death experience? - Not that I remember, no. 38. Someone I can tell anything to? - I’m pretty close to my Mom, she’s the absolute best and we can talk about everything. My friends too.

39. Ever lost a loved one? - Thankfully, no.

40. Do you believe in love? - No, I’m afraid. 41. Someone you hate/Dislike? - Dislike: several boys from elementary school, a girl from my master’s degree… The Kardashians and their clones… 42. Are you okay? - I’m doing great actually. Well, there are some little crisis while writing my dissertation. I just sometimes panic that I don’t write fast enough, that I’m missing something, that everything I wrote is rubbish. But these are normal doubts… I guess. Otherwise, I feel very well. 43. Relationship status? - Forever single.

44. Selfie? - Fun fact: I’ve never made a selfie in my life! I just don’t like my looks at all. So instead have a GIF of my (imaginary) soulmate Steve McGarrett

Thank you again! 💕😘💋❤💖

#me #personal

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funkymeihem-fiction · 6 years

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Fire and Woohoo- The OW Trio Plays The Sims

(D.Va, Lucio, and Junkrat have a very special game night with an old classic.)

The snacks had been warmed, the drinks chilled, and they had gathered in Hana’s room again. Game night had just begun, and it started off with a proclamation.

“First off, J-Man and I had a meeting and we both agreed that we’re not playin’ any more fighting games,” Lucio declared. “The only way either of us can win is by him cheesing you with that low kick move on that one dude, and then you both start fighting in real life and I gotta break it up.”

Hana glared at them both. “Well maybe because there’s no skill involved in legsweep spam!”

Junkrat’s ever-present grin only turned sharper. “Oh-ho-ho! Still pissy because that one time I kicked your arse usin’ an effective strategy I invented myself, and you can’t just admit—”

They were starting to lean a little too close to each other already, and Lucio sighed as he shouldered in between them and spread both arms to keep them at bay. It was a well practiced strategy that he’d had to do many, many times before when tempers flared. “See! There you go! I mean it this time, we are so not doing any more fighting games. Just choose something else for game night.”

“Ugh, fine. What do you boo-hoo babies want to play tonight? Dress-Up Pony Adventures? Pachimari Island? The Sims?”

Junkrat seemed to give the choices serious thought, apparently not understanding her sarcasm. “What’s a The Sims?”

“Oh, uh,” Hana looked slightly taken aback while Lucio only smirked. “You don’t want to play that. Even I haven’t played that in years. It’s just a game where you live every day life. Like you can make little people and a house and have them get jobs and adventures and just…wacky stuff sometimes? Like I made us in the game ages ago—”

“Wait, ya made me in a game? I wanna see me! Show me The Sims Junkrat!” he demanded.

Lucio’s smile turned into a grin at the scowling Hana. “Hey, that sounds fun to me. You made a little game version of me too? Show us.”

“Oh my god, you guys,” she snorted, spinning her chair back around to face the screen. “Fine. I’ll show you the Overwatch House and your little dudes, but only for a minute. I am not spending the whole game night on The Sims. Babe, grab me a drink?”

Lucio abandoned his chair to meander over towards her mini-fridge while Junkrat pulled up both long skinny legs to rest on the edge of his chair— a chair so dirty and soot-smeared, with the cushion ruined by his peg leg and bony rear, that it had been made his own personal game chair and nobody else dared touch it… after Hana had given him an earful for trashing the thing. He perched on his seat, watching curiously as the screen lit up with The Sims 9 logo and the cheerful title theme began playing.

“The fuck is this music?” he asked, giggling madly.

“I warned you it was goofy!” she snapped, looking a little embarrassed as she snatched up the beer Lucio offered to her. Clicking it open and taking a sip, she watched as the cutscene played and the little sim characters went about their act. “See? Those are the simulated people. Get it, The Sims?”

“Wot.”

“Never mind. Lucio, you ever played this?”

“I think maybe once when I was a kid? Not this one, though.” He snapped open his soda, taking a gulp and frowning at the taste. “Aw man, did they change the ingredients in my soda again? I gotta rethink that endorsement deal. I don’t want the kids thinkin’ this is good stuff.”

Hana nodded, flicking through her save files as the game continued on. “I warned you, you have to watch the drink companies in particular. They’re always trying to change the quality. My team had a clause that no drink product could change their recipe without going through our manager first. Oof, after what happened to The Starstrikers when all those kids got tooth rot…”

Junkrat grumbled from where he was gnawing at the blackened edge of a fingernail again, up until Hana smacked his hand away from his mouth. He snorted, looking dour as he glanced between them. “Yeah, well…Mebbe one day I’ll have me own line of soft drinks, ya know? Something what’ll even outdo the Bundabergs and Bickfords! Represent! Something like… Junkrat’s Junk Root Beer, or Roadhog’s Pink Lemonade. That bloke loves pink lemonade like nothing else. Think junker merchandise could really rake in some coin…” His eyes drifted in two different directions, the way they sometimes did when he was in very deep thought, only to come snapping together at something he saw on the screen. “Oi! Is that us!”

It was more than just them, he saw. Almost the whole organization had been modeled into cartoon people form, or at least what Hana had been able to mimic of them. Soldier 76’s combat visor had been replaced with sunglasses, Torbjorn was nowhere near as tiny or bearded as he was supposed to be, Reinhardt looked more old and fat and gray than the muscular juggernaut that he was, and several of them he didn’t recognize at all. But they didn’t interest him.

Hana and Lucio’s Sims were standing next to each other, with Hana dressed in her favorite pinks and blues, and Lucio wearing a green t-shirt, his dreads nowhere near the magnificence that they were in real life. Frankly, they didn’t interest Junkrat either.

There was a very tall and very skinny one, with spiked blond hair, all four limbs intact, wearing one orange glove and a black backpack instead of a tire, and instead of his skull and fire tattoo it was just a swirl of tribal black. Junkrat gaped, jaw falling open.

Hana coughed. “Uh…Sorry? It turns out Jamie is not really not the easiest guy to make into a Sim? I mean, I didn’t want to get into all the cash shop stuff so I did what I could. And your hair kind of just makes you look like a blond Goku, but y—”

Junkrat leaned forward so abruptly that his face nearly smashed into the screen. “I look bloody amazing, mate! Look at that! Really captures my likeness, that does. S’got my good side n’ everything! And…” His wide eyes got even wider, pupils practically becoming slitted. “Look who’s next to me! Does that mean we’re a couple in the game?!”

Hana pinched her lips together and looked skyward, trying very hard not to laugh for a moment before she smothered her snickering into her beer. Lucio elbowed her and merely grinned, gesturing to where Junkrat was still trying to enter the computer screen like it was a portal to a better world. Perhaps in his mind it was, as he was standing next to a much smaller and chubbier little figure, with dark hair twisted into a bun, glasses, and a familiar blue outfit.

Finally, Hana emerged from her beer can. “Uh, I don’t think so. It’s randomly generated. Mei’s just standing next to you is all, I think. I mean, Genji’s also standing next to her, and I don’t think they--”

“The cyborg? With Mei? Yeah, nah. Delete him from the game so it’s just me! Can I fight him?”

“Okay you know what, this might actually turn out to be interesting after all. Let’s load up the house…” Hana clicked the button and the loading screen scrolled past. “Okay, this is the game itself. I made us a nice mansion, so we can go see who’s doing what. Hey, there’s Lucio already! See him eating at the dining table there?”

Lucio leaned forward on Hana’s other side. “Aw, yeah! Looks like I have some waffles. Woah, I look good! …Did you give me extra muscles?”

Her cheeks went very slightly pink beneath her whisker marks. “Uh…I may have put you in the gym a few times. Actually, you and Zarya are best friends because of it, so that’s a plus! Soooo! Let’s find Sim D.Va!” She clicked on her portrait, and it zoomed to where her namesake Sim was playing on the computer in a room decorated pink and blue, with multiple game consoles and toys. “Oh hey, meta.”

“Wow, that’s pretty true to life, I guess. You think she’s playing The Sims in her world?” Lucio said, tilting his head. “Or is she…playing our world?” He wiggled his fingers and made a spooky noise “OoooOOoooo?” that soon tickled the back of Hana’s neck and sent her into shrieking laughter as she batted his hands away.

“Yeah whatever!” Junkrat pointed to his spiky-haired portrait. “Me! Me next!”

They clicked the portrait for Housemate Jamie, and the screen centered in on where the lanky Junkrat-esque figure was screaming and waving his arms for no apparent reason, down in the house’s basement. As they watched, he whimpered and hugged himself, and then promptly urinated a blue puddle all over the floor before he straightened and wandered off.

“The fuck’s this!” his real life counterpart demanded. “Did you make me piss meself?!”

“Ooooh,” Hana said. “Sorry, I think I forgot to make you use the bathroom before.”

“Did Mei see?!”

“I don’t think so. Hold on, let’s find her.” She clicked on Mei, who was placidly sitting and reading on a couch, next to where Angela was watching television.

Sim Angela turned to her and commented a cheerful “Yargle boorgle doo!” to which Mei replied a soft “Aaah, ya feeb.”

Junkrat looked aghast. “What’s all that? Are they talking about me? Did she call me a feeb?”

“They don’t speak a real language, it doesn’t mean anything.”

He pushed into Hana’s side abruptly, long arm reaching to the screen and clicking on his portrait again. “Back to me!”

She pushed him right back, elbowing him back into his chair. “Hey! What did I say about trying to steal my screen control! You know the rules!”

Lucio sighed, lifting both hands. “J-Man, she did lay down the rules a while back. You gotta chill, man. Let her do her thing unless it’s your turn, right?”

Junkrat scowled, looking chastised as he slumped back into his ruined chair once more. Though he couldn’t remain sullen for long, watching his little virtual self wander through the dark basement and speaking gibberish to himself. Hana had left the camera on him, at least, despite her protests. And both she and Lucio watched with curiosity as the Sim Jamie spun in a circle and yelled ‘Nipsy vorg!” before ascending the stairs to join the others.

“That there is a man on a mission,” he said, nodding with approval. “Look, I’m thinkin’ of drumsticks, I’m gonna nipsy vorg some chicken.”

Hana hovered over a smaller window with his stats. “I think you’re going to cook something. This’ll be funny. I gave you the pyromaniac trait, so…Let’s watch.”

Sim Jamie passed by Sim Lucio, who was cleaning up the last of his waffles. Following the other Sim into the kitchen, he began dutifully washing his plate in the sink while his pyromaniac housemate pulled a package out of fridge and began chopping it up. A few moments of that, and he shoved the platter into the oven…which promptly caught on fire and began smoking wildly as Sim Jamie laughed and clapped in front of it.

Real life Jamie seemed just as thrilled. “Yeah! Attaboy! Fight the system!”

“Every time.” Hana nodded.

Sim Lucio started shrieking and clutching his hair in alarm, dancing frantically in place for several moments before pulling an extinguisher from nowhere to begin battling the flames. He was soon joined by the sunglasses-wearing Soldier 76, who started screaming helplessly on the sidelines but strangely made no move to help. Sim Jamie just laughed wildly before turning and pulling a whole bowl of cereal out of the fridge, eating and enjoying the show.

“Why am I the only one trying to save the house!” Lucio protested, pointing in a very accusatory way at the virtual Soldier.

“The hell were you complainin’ about before, Hana?” Junkrat said. “This game’s amazin’. Oi, make me go say hi to Mei.”

“Wow, even a kitchen fire can’t distract you? This sounds serious. All right, let’s see where Mei is now.” She scrolled to find the little blue-dressed Sim, who was… blurred out on the toilet. “Oh, um.”

“She can’t stay in there forever! Put me outside the door there.”

“Yeah, Jamie. Totally not being creepy on her Sim or anything, here.”

They abandoned the still-screaming Sim Lucio as he battled the oven blaze, as Sim Jamie took up his post admiring a painting of a sad clown that had been hung near the bathroom. Soon the door clicked open, and Mei exited. Hana took the opportunity to make her charge approach her, selecting ‘Chat’.

“Ah dag voorlog, mis frontoy?” Sim Jamie asked.

“Oh! Blanana! Dipso varootni,” Mei answered, and then laughed. It sounded nothing like her real laugh.

That didn’t stop Junkrat from lighting up, bushy brows lifting hopefully. “She likes me! Make me say that stuff again, she likes it!”

Hana brought up the enactment wheel. “Hey, why I don’t show you how to actually play this? See, these are all your options. What do you want to make your little Sim guy do next?”

“Kiss her!”

Lucio sighed. “J-Man, even the Sims versions of the ladies don’t appreciate it when you just try to kiss them out of nowhere. Why not give her a compliment or something?”

“Uh, okay. Well it says hug, there. Let’s give Mei a hug. Nice friendly hug, right?”

Hana clicked on the hug, and they watched as their Jamie opened up both arms and went in for the embrace, only for Mei to shrink back and rebuff him with a curt, “Eeenh! Va nitso!” that left the spurned Jamie with two disappointed minus bars over his head.

“What the fuck is wrong with her!” Junkrat demanded. “I’m doing all the right stuff! This game’s shite!”

“Dude, try something more lowkey. Hana, make our boy actually compliment her,” Lucio said, downing the last of his soda. “I can’t believe we’re even focusing on this while the house is burning down, by the way. I’m probably dead in the kitchen.”

“Nah,” Hana assured him. “We’d hear the Grim Reaper music if you were dead. It’s fine. We’re going to focus on the more important things, like romance. Let’s try Lucio’s suggestion.”

Junkrat still looked peevish, but accepted the suggestion as she selected ‘Compliment’. His Sim approached Mei once more, clearing his throat and smoothing back his hair (He really did have a nice head of hair, didn’t he?) before giving her the wink and the gun, saying “Aaay! Wo ta tupsi blorno, dayg.” The Sim Mei seemed a little taken aback, but giggled and swayed a little as she shyly answered gibberish back to him. Plus signs popped over both their heads as they continued.

Hana leaned back and smirked. “So! What did we learn!”

Heartened once more, Rat finally conceded. “Arright arright, maybe the kisses were coming on just a bit strong. Let’s chat her up some more. Oh! Share secrets! Let’s learn her secrets? Oh oh, no, do that one. Talk about fire.”

“Actually, Romeo, why don’t you play for a little bit? I don’t really care what happens to the save anyway— NO, no getting on MY chair. Just move yours in the middle.” Hana rolled her chair to the side, grabbing the back of Junkrat’s chair to push it into her spot. “I’m gonna go make some popcorn. Lucio, come with?”

“Yeah, hold on.” He picked up both their empty cans, moving to follow her out. “Gotta recycle these. Yo J, you want anything from the kitchen?”

Junkrat was already involved in a very deep and completely nonsensical conversation between Sim Jamie and Sim Mei, the task bar already filled as he clicked to compliment her again. “Huh?”

“That’s a no. Come on,” Hana urged, grabbing Lucio’s hand to guide him out of her room as the door whooshed shut behind them. Once she was sure they were out of earshot and a fair distance down the hall, she glanced to him with a more genuine little grin. “You know, this is one of the few times I’m not scared to leave him in there by himself.”

Lucio paused to basketball-toss one of the cans into the recycling bin by the kitchen door, clattering into the goal. “I think he’s doing better with the whole ‘boundaries’ thing, on not blowing things up that don’t belong to him.”

She nodded, ripping open a packet of popcorn and tossing it into the machine. “Not perfect, though. And he still thinks I didn’t notice him stealing my Retro Zeldamari keychain. Uh…I was going to demand it back from him, but then I saw Roadhog wearing it and…yeah, not worth it.”

“Not perfect,” Lucio agreed, smiling a little sheepishly. “Sorry about your keychain, I’ll get you a new one.”

She rolled her eyes, plugging in the cooking time before leaning back against the counter, opening both arms. “It’s fine. I mean, you can still buy me a new one,” she grinned. “But it’s fine. Jamie’s funny. Sometimes I still wanna strangle him, but he’s a fun guy. Don’t worry so much about him, Lu.”

“Can’t help it, I guess.” He meandered forward, wrapping her up in a tight hug and speaking into her shoulder. “Just trying to make sure everyone gets along.”

“That’s because…” Hana drew his chin up with one finger where he had been slumped against her chest, meeting his concerned gaze. Nodding solemnly, she dropped her voice to a furtive whisper. “…because you are the lamest lamer to ever lame…lame-oid.”

The DJ’s face split into a grin, shoulders shaking as he started laughing into her collarbone. “Aaah, ya got me.”

“C’mere,” she said, grinning back at him. “We have like two minutes for the corn to pop. That’s like, two straight minutes of making out. Timer and everything. Ready?” She didn’t give him a chance to answer, pressing her lips to his before he could even react.

His grip tightened around her, one hand sliding down to her slender waist, resting atop one hip as he tilted his head. Their kiss deepened, her tongue soon boldly prodding into his mouth as he started to press her against the countertop. Nearly bent backward, her fingers clawed into the fabric of his shirt to hold on, looping one ankle around his leg. Lucio growled a low hum into her lips, the soft wet sounds of their mouths drowned out by the humming and rapid popping of the microwave next to them.

There was soon a very cheerful ding, and she grumbled as he released her to grip onto the counter, lifting himself off her. Smoothing back her hair, she stood and adjusted her mussed and crooked top. “Two minutes are up already?”

“Time’s up, corn’s done,” he said, shrugging helplessly. “And you prrrrrobably don’t want to leave Jamie in there alone for too long, Sims or not.”

“Yeah, you’re right, but… You want to stay over after he leaves? Like, longer than two minutes?”

“Don’t think I don’t notice you trying to set me up for a stamina joke, girl. And I’ll check my schedule, but I think I might be able to make some time tonight. After game night.” He reached into the microwave and grabbed the popcorn bag, jostling it about before upending it into the D.Va Bunny Bowl she held out for him. “Let’s go see the damage.”

She snorted, taking her corn and leading him out of the kitchen and back down the hall. “It had better be virtual damage only.”

***

Hana’s door beeped and whooshed open, and they found Junkrat still curled in his chair, facing the holoscreen with his cheeks flushed pink and a stranger grin than usual. He didn’t even glance their way, trying to stifle his giggling as he rocked back and forth and remained fixated on the game.

Lucio lifted a brow at him, stealing a handful of popcorn before meandering over back to his own chair. “What did we miss?”

Hana followed shortly after. “Yeah, how are things going with- OH!”

There was the sound of soft moaning from the Sims game, and both of them watched aghast as the bed on the screen bumped and writhed and giggled. Little hearts popped blipped up from the covers, and the blankets were soon pulled down to reveal Sim Jamie and Sim Mei looking adoringly at one another after a round of carnal bliss. Mei even sighed happily and reached out to stroke his jaw, muttering a satisfied little, “Mmm, na darnu pas noorny…” as Jamie uttered a very sexual growl.

Pausing with popcorn halfway to her mouth, Hana merely looked vaguely impressed. “Huh. That was actually pretty fast. I had to give Lucio like ten straight minutes of hugs and massages before he’d bang my Sim.”

“Hey, Sim-Me has standards,” Lucio said. “Gotta get those hugs.”

Junkrat looked up at them, biting one sharp fang into his lip and muffling a shriek of happy laughter. “Ya didn’t tell me there was rootin’ in this game! I was gettin’ all nice and spicy with Mei, even got to give her a kiss on the cheek. So I kissed her cheek a bunch of times, then I kissed her on the lips some. And then I saw Mei had this ‘woohoo’ thing, so I thought she wanted to party, you know? Like, celebrate, woohoo!”

Hana smirked. “…That’s actually super adorable, you thought she wanted a party?”

“Well…turns out she wanted to party all right! So uh…I’ve been making us woohoo since you been gone. Also some weird music started playing and this guy in a cloak showed up, but who gives a shit? So I went back to woohooing Mei—”

“Wait, guy in a cloak? Oh, damnit! Hold on, let me see—” She batted Junkrat’s hands away from her screen as he went to make woohoo yet again, and scrolled over towards the kitchen.

The kitchen was obliterated, little more than a fire-charred husk. Hanzo and the Grim Reaper was dancing to a stereo that had survived the blaze, completely ignoring the scene nearby where Angela, Torbjorn, and Hana were weeping pitifully over the scorched gravestones and piles of ash that had once been Lucio, Soldier, and Zarya. Genji, also scorched and black from battling the fire, lay passed out in exhaustion, snoring amongst the debris.

Lucio’s jaw dropped open. “I’m dead! I told you I was gonna die! Jamie, man, you killed me! You killed like four people while we were making popcorn!”

“Bad luck there, mate. Just had more important things to do. Oi, Hana, put it back on me and Mei. Where’s Mei’s bed, can we woohoo on there next?”

She wrinkled her nose at him. “Uh, why don’t I just let you borrow the game and then you can woohoo with virtual Mei and murder all your friends as much as you want?”

“Yeh! Sounds ace, thanks darl!”

“Hold on, this is for the game night records.” Pausing the game on the scene of utter house distraction and death, she spun Junkrat’s chair around and pulled Lucio in against her as she grabbed her phone. Snuggling the boys in on either side, she angled the picture so it was the three of them grinning in front of the Sim carnage, with her flashing the peace sign. “For all our dead Sim pals and Jamie’s woohoos. One, two, three, kimchiiii!”

“Kimchiii!”

She snapped the photo, looking down to the newest picture of game night, to add in to all the ones before…the ones with them laughing, eating, arguing, making faces, and the blurry one that Lucio had taken of Hana pinning a flailing Junkrat by the chest while he held the game control out of her reach.

Smiling, she scrolled through them. “That was a good one. I can’t believe the most successful game for you was The Sims. I never would have guessed it.”

“Nah, yeah. Educational game, this is. Lu was right about all the complimentin’ and chats and whatnot, before we get to the kissing and the woohooing. Got to approach the ladies slow-like, not spook them.”

“Uh huh,” Hana said. “Life lessons from The Sims. We’re all learning something tonight. I learned that the Grim Reaper and Hanzo have a lot in common, that Jamie isn’t housebroken, and that Lucio is super flammable.”

Lucio chuckled, wrapping both arms around her shoulders and kissing her neck, leaning to look through the pictures as well. “I died for a noble cause.”

Junkrat sighed dreamily. “I learned how many times I gotta compliment Mei for woohoo. Gotta try to remember that for later…”

“You know,” she suggested. “There’s more stuff you can do in this game besides death and woohoo? I mean you can have babies and get jobs and raise pets and all kinds of stuff. You can also dress everyone in hot dog outfits and make a prison compound where they are forced to make paintings and write erotic novels to fund your efforts to make one hundred babies with everyone in town.”

The two boys stared at her.

“But uh…How about we make a new household instead and I’ll show you the rest of the game, Jamie?”

“Can’t believe you were holdin’ out on me. This is the best game I ever heard of. Yeah, show me more Sims! Woohoo!”

#overwatch #the sims #junkrat #jamison fawkes #lucio #lucio correia dos santos #D.Va #hana song #fanfiction #writing #mei #mei-ling zhou #meihem #junkmei #meirat #bunnyribbit

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sugagimmesugar · 5 years

Text

Only Fools Fall for You Chapter 2

Chapter 2: Both. RM and Namjoon.

Chapter. 1 2 3 4 5 6 (In Progress)

“Why are you laughing?”,she asks, confused by his reaction.

His face drops, unsure whether to tell the girl he just met about RapMonster. Why can’t he just be Namjoon for a day? A few seconds of silence as he struggles to decide who to be today…..

Both. Both Namjoon and RM.

“ Actually, that’s me, I am RM. I am kind of on holiday right now, at least I have the whole day today and until tomorrow at 12 off, but in general I am in town for almost a week cause my band is playing some shows here. I was trying to be just Namjoon today but… I am RM too. Thanks for the compliment by the way, nobody’s ever recommended my own music to me.” He shoots her a shy smile, taking in her shocked reaction. Seconds later her expression changes to a mocking grin.

“Yea sure. Hozier my old buddy just popped by last week. I should really start a wall of fame in this place, with all these international celebrities dropping by all the time.” She rolls her eyes at him and leaves him sitting at the bar alone.

With a sigh, Namjoon takes out his phone, opening Spotify and starting up a playlist. “only fools fall for you” he hadn’t missed everything from her recommended album after all. While fixing a playlist he was lost in thought. He really liked this girl, hopefully he didn’t scare her away. Suddenly he comes to a solution, how he can easily convince her that he isn’t just some dickhead being cocky. He quickly checks with his manger, who reluctantly agrees.

A few minutes later, she returns, an annoyed expression on her face.

“Show me your music then, RM.”, she says, dragging out his name in a mocking manner and looking him straight in the eye.

“I am working on a proper playlist right now. But, I actually have a little, well, lets say a proposal for you.” He smirks, taking in her surprised and questioning expression. “How about, I repay you for this coffee tonight? As in, I buy you a drink. And we actually talk a bit. If you end up liking me and we enjoy each others company as much as I think we could… I fixed a backstage pass for the show tomorrow for you. It’s just an opportunity, I don’t wanna push anything on you. I just think you could have a fun night out.” She is looking shocked… again… So after a few seconds of awkward silence he decides to get back to the most important thing: “...Please, show me some more of your music! I’m really liking it so far.”, he laughs. He can see her processing what he just said. He cant help but smile at her overwhelmed look.

She shakes her head, a cautious smile on her lips, and turns to help some customers who just entered the store.

As he picks up his phone again he sees it blowing up.

*BTS GroupChat*

Hobi: RM youre bringing a girl tomorrow?

Jin: When did you meet a girl?

Jin: You havent even been out that long? Why bring her to the concert already?

JK: oooh hyung met a girl!

JK: Is she cute?

JK: Is it a date?

JK: Send a pic!

Joon: I met her today, we are getting along great and she doesnt believe me that I am RM so I decided to prove it to her. Also maybe its a date? We will see! She hasnt even said yes yet…..

Hobi: She hasnt even said yes yet? Well done, bro.

RM: JK I cant just take a picture of her, thats creepy.

Suga: why are you guys blowing up my phone like this? let rm try to get some swedish ass and let me nap.

V: *pic of him and Jimin doing the finger heart* cheering for u hyung!

He laughs, everybody is reacting as expected.

Getting back to the playlist he finally decides to add some BTS songs. Why not brag and prepare her for tomorrow night? He keeps on adding to the list, waiting for her to return.

“Wow, how many “favourites” do you have?” he almost jumps at the voice suddenly right behind him.

“You didn’t tell me there was a maximum number of songs allowed. I am making a playlist, putting in everything I like that you might like as well.” he turns around, facing her with a smile.

“I guess that’s valid…. But there’s no way I can listen to all that before our drink later. How ‘bout a top ten? And show me some of your band’s stuff, I wanna know what kinda concert I’m committing to before I say yes to you, stranger.” she laughs, picking up his empty coffee and putting down a notepad in front of him. “Write me a top ten list of songs you recommend by your band and some other stuff. I’ll put it on here at the store and then we can see what i decide.” she turns to leave with a wink.

He grabs her arm: “Wait, you believe me all of a sudden?”

“First of all, you can’t just grab me like that, I am still theoretically at work, even though there isn’t much to do. Secondly, I googled you, dumbass. Can’t really deny that you have the same face as RM… So I believe you. Its fucking weird, yes, but I guess the dude who’s album I have been spamming for days somehow found his way to me.” Another wink and she leaves him to sit alone… again.

A top ten list, with songs to convince her to come to the concert tomorrow? That’s surprisingly much pressure.

Eternal Sunshine by Epik High

Midsummer Madness by 88rising

So Far Away by Agust D

I can give you heaven by HONNE

U by HER

Personal by Kehlani

Make it Right by BTS

Spring Day by BTS

Baepsae by BTS

Mikrokosmos by BTS

It takes him a while but eventually he finds a way to narrow it down to 10 songs. Some of his general favourites but through the view of what y/n could like.

With a broad, dimpled grin, he waves her over. She just throws up a peace sign and nods, acknowledging his wave. A few minutes later she saunters over, two coffees in her hands.

“Thought we could both use some more caffeine, RapMonster.” she says with a small giggle. He flinches and she quickly continues “Anyways, I am ready for your list! I saw you redo it so many times I was afraid you weren’t gonna finish it today. So, hand it over and I will put it on. Any special order or just any of them? Is it a ranking?”

“Ok, so it’s not a ranking or anything, just the 10 songs I decided fit your taste best, or at least I hope so. BTS, as you know, is the group I am part of, so you can take those last. Agust D is one of the other members in the group and the song is from his solo-mixtape. Since you liked mine so much I thought you might like his stuff, too. Other than that it’s some friends of mine and general songs I jam to myself. I hope you like it.” He hands her the notepad, his 4 earlier drafts already in the trashcan closest to him. She takes it and smiles: “Oh, Kehlani! I love her! Let me just queue these and then I will be right back for the coffee.”

The two sit and drink coffee while the music plays, only occasionally interrupting the listening silence for some lyric explanations.

With the time being close to closing time, the store is empty once again, and unbothered by customers, y/n has slowly started swaying and occasionally dancing along to the music, fixing small things around the store or just dancing up and down behind the bar, just going along with the music. When “Make it Right” starts, she is fixing the last small things behind the bar. He can see her really jamming to the music and it makes him smile, he knows that ARMY loves the song and he has seen the stats and all that, but it’s something different to see someone in front of you, in such a casual way, just enjoying themselves and your music.

** Oh, oh, I can make it Right**

As the chorus hits, she is just grinning at him, dancing around him and actually singing along to it, messily since she doesn’t know the lyrics but still. A bright smile lights up his face at the view, as he watches her move through the room, putting away their mugs and lastly going to get her stuff, getting ready to leave. She emerges with a leather jacket over her arm and a bag on her shoulder. As the last notes of “Make it Right” are sounding out, she hits the pause button.

“Sorry, I’m gonna have to stop this here. I gotta lock up now so we gotta get going. Is it chill if we head to pub right away? I need to eat something before I can let you buy me a drink. I know a nice small place close to here, I doubt any of your fans would go there, so you don’t have to worry about getting recognized.” She shoots him an apologetic look as she turns off everything at the register. He gets up and gets ready to leave, waiting for her just outside the shop.

“Lead the way, you’re the local. I’ll eat anything and to be honest I am not picky with pubs, I would just prefer not to cause a scandal tonight by getting photographed at a pub with a girl.”

She laughs, “Oh god yea that would be bad. It’s just this way. Let’s go!”

#only fools #bts rm #bts suga #bts jimin #bts jin #bts v #bts jungkook #bts jhope #bts namjoon #bts taehyung #bts imagine #bts fanfic #namjoon x reader #namjoon x y/n #rm x reader #rm x y/n

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justlikefantasy · 7 years

Text

Host

Pairing : reader x Baekhyun

Genre : Fluff , streamer!au , gamer!au

Warnings : mention alcohol

Words : 1.5 K

1.5, 02, 03

A/N : hello, hello, so this is part one of this fic. It’s kind of short but there will be a 1.5 as Baekhyun point of view that will be uploaded either Wednesday or Thursday night, if this sounds interesting to you. As always, feel free to like or let any constructive comments <3

For the past years, the video game industry has been dominant, especially online. Entertainers such as youtuber and streamer gained popularity quickly. Some used it to help pay school, others made it their living, for you it was just a way to meet new people and make new friends.

You were not the most popular channel online but it didn’t matter, you had a good community and you could interact closely with your fans which was really important to you. Focusing mostly on creating YouTube contents, one of your subscriber requested that you start streaming so they could enjoy some times with your actual self. You agreed and the surprisingly the feedback were positive so you kept on doing them, your channel growing a bit bigger and eventually becoming a regular streamer.

It was a cozy summer night, not to hot so your room wouldn’t feel like a sauna with your computer running. Your cat serenely sleeping on your bed, you gave him a small pat, small purr being heard at your touch. Heading towards your computer desk, sitting in your chair making it pivot before putting your headphones on. You took a last check at your stream settings making sure everything was working before turning the video on.

Today was Friday, which mean Tipsy Friday. You didn’t mean for it to happened but one night, having had a few too many drink, you thought it would be entertaining to stream while intoxicated, bringing another side of you to life. Most of your subscriber showed up to your unusual activity, shocking you a bit since it was quite early in the morning. There were about 175 viewers when it happened but once it got on twitter and tumblr the next morning, your community went crazy, stating how you were such a different person but in a cute way, begging to see a bit more of this side. It couldn’t do you wrong and it was quite enjoyable for you to do it, so you agreed to do it again next Friday. And the one after, and so on.

A bottle of wine sitting next to your monitor, your chat casually interacting with themselves before the beginning of your stream. You waited until eight o’clock to start your streams. The moment you opened your webcam greetings from your viewers fled in the cha.

You waved to the camera, greeting some of your viewers saying their usernames. You wondered sometimes how did people come up with their names. Taking a sip of your glass of wine, you read some question in the chat before answering them.

‘’ What am I going to play tonight ‘’ you said out loud ‘’ well what do you guys think about a viewer match of League of Legends? ‘’ The chat went alive, spamming some custom emojis one of your fan made not too long ago. You chose ten randomly league ID before adding them into the custom match.

The night was going great, you would sometimes get small donations or new subscribers startling you most of the times because of the sounds it makes. You were now half a bottle of wine gone, your speech and words getting a little slurred the more it goes.

‘’ WOooOoh, guyyyyyys we hit 400 viewers!’’ you said after taking a quick glance at your second monitor disposing on the left of your desk displaying your streaming page. While backing to base in the game, you took the opportunity to do a quick heart with your fingers towards your camera sending a small kiss at the same thing. You’ve never had so many viewers when you streamed. Who would have thought a drunk girl playing videogames was so interesting?

The game was getting to an end, your team taking down the nexus towers as quick as possible before the enemy team respawned. And not even 30 seconds later it was GG, your team won. What you liked about viewers game is that nobody would rage, they all know it is only for fun and winning or losing doesn’t mean anything, so you were grateful. Pouring yourself another glass of wine, you made it your last one for the night, you were getting drunk, too drunk and you wouldn’t be able to handle your stream if you keep it up. Taking a look at your stream you saw yourself in the monitor, replacing your hair a little bit, making sure you looked the cutest possible. Your chat was getting noisy and there was a lot of fussing, which was unusual. You whined playfully at your chat going crazy, what could all the fuss be about. Please, let it not be a raid.

1,200 viewers

You choked when you saw the number of viewers and the number of new followers you gained in the last hours. Was alcohol affecting you that much? Confusion was written all over your face, you looked at the chat dumbfounded trying to figure out what was going on. It was really hard with all the spamming emojis some of the viewers kept sending. You scrolled through your chat when you found it, the small piece of information you needed.

S_O_A456: y/n !!!!!!!!!!! look at your viewers

Jindonutsoflove : y/n!!!!!

Kikittykiss : OMG EXO IS HOSTING HER

Chaniepuppy: :kappa:

S_O_A456 : omg y/n!!! EXO BAEKHYUN I SHOSTING YOU

S_O_A456 : y/n !!!!

Chawae87: :kappa:

EXO_fanboy120 : :kappa:

kingKris: :kappa:

This has to be a joke. Your cheek went a shade of pink, nervously laughing, you tried to hide them with your hands covering your face.

EXO_Baekhyun is hosting you.

You couldn’t believe it. The best AD Carry in the world, is hosting your channel. How did he even find it? Stunned at how unreal the situation was getting you couldn’t help the constant giggle coming out of you.

‘’ I-I- Ehm’’ you didn’t know what to say, or react, so you just greeted them the best you could rambling incoherent words about yourself and your stream.

‘’Thankssssss to EXO_Baekhyun for hosting my stream! By the way you’re really fucking hot’’ you said, making a small gun with your finger, shooting towards your camera with a wink. You’ll regret it tomorrow morning but for now, this was the best you could do in your intoxicated state, bluntly saying what’s on your mind, passing for the biggest fangirl ever.

Chawae87: she hot tho, might donate if shes decent lmao

Firefighter45: did someone called me kek wassup hottie😉

….

whoNeeda_username: can I play with you, add me

You were getting a lot of request for people to play with you so you decided to change people every game, except for one of your best friend who was always with you helping with running your stream, especially when you were drunk.

Bad decisions kept coming but laughter and joy happened until the very last minutes of your streams. You were exhausted and drunk. You said your goodbye to your chat, before closing your stream and heading towards your bathroom, changing into your pyjamas and brushing your teeth. Heading back to your bedroom, you plumped yourself under your blankets, carefully trying not to wake up your cat to which you failed miserably. You mumbled a small sorry to her, before she went back to sleep, being followed by you.

The next morning was painful. The sun aggressively burning your face, waking you up from your hangover state. Your mouth was dry, your eyes heavy and your head felt like it was being stabbed by multiple knife. You groaned before getting out of the cozy spot your body was resting in heading towards your bathroom taking the small bottle of aspirin out of the cupboard on top of your sink, shoving two little caplets in your mouth, downing a glass of water to help you swallow them down. Opening the bath faucet, you let it fill completely. Stripping out of your pyjamas you meticulously entered the bath filled with the warm water. The heat was relaxing and healing your sore body. You felt clean and renew. Stayed like that for a good ten minutes, you reached for your phone and looked at the infinite amount of alert you got. Maybe you should check what’s going on in your small community. Opening the tumblr app, you started scrolling through your tags, a multitude of gif sets as well as edit of your last night stream making their appearance. It’s crazy how people can be so creative and took the time to edit your contents. It was for small action like that that you kept on doing it. However, the more you looked through the tags, the more you cringed at your last night actions before being interrupted by a new notification.

EXO.Baekhyun has started following you.

#exo #exo fic #exo fanfic #exo fluff #byun baekhyun #byun baekhyun fic #baekhyun #baekhyun fluff #baekhyun fic #gamer #streamer #fluff

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localwebmgmt · 4 years

Text

Weekly SEO Q&A – Hump Day Hangouts – Episode 309

youtube

Click on the video above to watch Episode 309 of the Semantic Mastery Hump Day Hangouts.

Full timestamps with topics and times can be found at the link above.

The latest upcoming free SEO Q&A Hump Day Hangout can be found at http://semanticmastery.com/humpday.

Announcement

Well hopefully we are live and if not, they’ll just talk to myself but hey everybody, we are dealing with some new technical fun stuff with Hump Day Hangouts. And if you’re hearing this then you do not need to refresh your live stream but just going to paste that on the page. We can’t really get this stuff on there ahead of time so we’re dealing with it and getting it working so anyways, I’m gonna go down the row here and say hello to everybody that’s here. It looks like it’s all of us but Hernan today so I’ll start at the bottom as I see it, Marco How you doing, man? Um, first. Wow. as well.

I’m showing it again guys. Look at it.

Look at it. Groundhog Day. Dude.

I know like for years I was just like what the whatever you call it on the screen just an icon because I wouldn’t really come on camera. So I decided for a year I’m going to turn on my camera every Hump Day.

And this is what to see this this one it’s raining right now. So I got my light is on but I mean I’m in a T shirt. I’m usually just shorts and flip flops and a tank top but to be a little bit more decent like a hometown I will put on a T shirt or a shirt but that’s it I like you guys won’t see me probably in a sweater until maybe December one day out of the year, maybe two it’ll get it’ll go down to 60 and I’ll need a you know some kind of hoodie or something. Other than that, guys, this is what it is. This is my Fortress of Solitude. This is my base like I live by the POFU code. I do what I choose to do, not what I have to do to get by. This is what you all should be shooting for. That’s why you should be here asking questions and getting answers so you can get started on your path to poll for you so you could strengthen your position of Fuck you.

I said Marco Well, let’s go with Johnny come lately down here on the bottom. Hernan How you doing, man? Dude, I was literally waiting outside knocking on Bradley’s door for like 45 seconds. I was early to this meeting. But you guys, what am I meeting? Because I’m Latino. I understand. And then you know, that’s like pass. Yeah. I know. You know, races type of deal that I think

there we go.

Awesome, Chris. How you doing?

Yeah, like similar as Marco. It’s raining outside. And it’s looking like it’s gonna be like this the whole week. So not too excited. But I can still go to the gym. And that keeps me up. Nice. Nice. Bradley coming up to you. How you doing today? Good. Got everything squared away with this new nice not letting people. Yeah, besides that, I’m sorry, I was trying to get you know, I was the man behind the curtain pulling all the strings to get all this shit to work. Again, as usual.

Shut down. So let’s say before we start pointing fingers and drive everyone away. I wanted to mention real quick that if you haven’t yet signed up, I think there’s still just a little bit of time, head over to pofulive.com. We’ve got over 100 people signed up to get access early access to the POFU Live 2020 recordings, there is going to be a special deal for people who get there early and are will send an email out to them only so pofulive.com, it’ll redirect you to the opt in form. And you can get early access as well as a little bit of a deal there. So some good stuff coming there. Let me put the only let 50 people in.

No, no.

Just kidding. No, no scarcity on this one. Just, you know, we want people to grab it. And if you’re on the fence, get it get access, we want to give you a deal. And we reward the people who take action. So if you sign up get on early access list, you will get a special offer but it is limited in time. I can’t recall the exact sequence. It’s either 48 or 72 hours until we release it to the rest of the subscribers at the normal price. So get in there and get access.

Let’s see. I also wanted to let everyone know, you know if you’re new to Semantic Mastery MGYB heavy hitters club. You know, a frequently asked question we get is like where should we start? A lot of people are looking at us for you know updates on how to shield their site. You know, you might see us talking about things that sound fun like never worrying about algorithm updates. And we’ve got some free training available for you and I’ll paste the link but it’s the seoshield.com. You can go there and pick that up. If you’re more on the agency owner or consultant side if you want to get more clients you want to grow your revenue you want to scale a team than 2xyouragency.com is the place for you. And if you’re ready to grow your digital marketing business then the mastermind is definitely something you need to be checking out. And you’ll hear us talk about that from time to time. I’m not going to tell you all about it, but you can go check it out at mastermind dot semantic mastery.

That said, Is there anything else you guys before we hop into questions?

No, just go check out the SEOshield.com because it’s a broad put together a really nice job training for like, a four day training for the SEO shield and why it works and, and all that kind of stuff. So you know, we get that question often. So I would recommend you guys go check it out.

Because you’ll learn from it for sure. Most definitely. Okay, so we’re good for questions. Let’s do it. I got the screen through this suite. You guys see my screen, right? Yep.

What Are Some Ways To Get Backlinks From Wikidata?

Alright, so the first one is Sam, Sam me. There’s a lot EMS there. So he says, I remember many videos back Marco mentioned getting into wiki data to help strengthen the entity. What are some ways we can get backlinks from wiki data? Ah, I don’t know. Because every time I’ve ever tried to ever, ever add anything to wiki data or create an account and add any data to it always gets suspended? Like within 24 hours, and removed moderated out. So I don’t know. Marco, do you have any tricks for that?

Yeah, get a guy like I like I got a guy and getting wicked data. That’s just that’s just the way it is.

When I’m the same as you, I tried to do it. And then I get booted. Same as Wikipedia. Some almost as battle though, that not as a no, a wiki data there. And in Wikipedia, it’s almost as bad. So why go through all that trouble, when you might get banned? When I can just get a guy to do it for me pay him, let him take all the risk, let him do all the work. He knows what he’s doing. And then if anything happens, then I get a guarantee. up to a certain point I think is like 60 day guarantee. After that I’m on my own. Of course.

Right. But that’s how I do it. Like I I haven’t even tried since I can’t remember was a couple of years ago when we said okay, let’s try wiki data. Yeah. And we tried getting Semantic Mastery in there legitimately. And they got banned. And it wasn’t even spammed it didn’t have any back nothing. And they got banned. And I still have no idea why nobody ever told me why. So I just stopped trying, I don’t waste my time, in places where they don’t want me. I just find people who can get it in there like Wikipedia, wiki data, or anywhere else where I need to be for that matter. Yeah, I tried myself like three, maybe even four times and spent time doing, excuse me get something my throat um, I spent three or four, or you know, a lot of time trying to set up a profile, same thing. And Marco said I’d set it up. I was going to do it in stages, right. So first, just create a profile and add, you know, like a company, for example, and entities, but then not put any backlinks or anything else, right. No linking out or anything. But same thing, I spent time setting up a profile and and going in and adding data and every single time it got suspended almost immediately. So I gave up on that as well. I know we we offer Wikipedia links wiki links inside of mgib. But wiki data, I don’t know where to get that from Marco is your guide to actually do wiki data because that’s not something I’ve I’ve found where I could purchase that. Wikipedia and we get data. Wow. Okay. Can we, you know, we should probably add that in and do it if we can? No, no.

This is not this is not no guy. No, this is my guy guy. I’m not gonna flood him. Yeah, because a lot of times people can’t get in there. They just don’t have the necessary paper, right? The paperwork to get in there. So you have to go and you have there’s a lot of things that you have to do. And I want serious people because it’s not free. And it’s not like a budget kind of deal. No. But you know, it costs money to get into those things. So I don’t bother publicizing and somebody reaches out to me and says, Hey, Mark, I need to get Wikipedia wiki data. Like I tell I tell them before I put them in contact with the guy. This is how much it’s going to be like I don’t make any any money off of it. This is how much it’s going to be don’t bug him. Unless you got the money in your hand and you’re ready to pay. Otherwise don’t bother me and don’t bother him. Don’t waste our time.

Yes.

Does Combining Local RSS Feeds, Embedding Feedburner Widget In Multiple Web 2.0s Help Push Local Rankings?

All right. So Williams up he says I have a local business targeting targeting multiple cities and towns with combining local RSS feeds with my own councils and local news. Okay, and embedding a Feedburner widget across multiple web twos helped push rankings locally. If not, is there anything else I can do to push additional relevancy? Thank you. Thank you guys as always, okay. I’ve not tried that. Exactly.

Sounds like I mean it, it’s logical that it could, because I do the Feedburner widget, the buzz boost widget or whatever you know the with with the buzz boost feed burner feed, you can get an embeddable widget from a Feedburner feed. Which is great, because if you can create like a spice feed of like what he’s talking about, ranked feeder, for example, Lisa Allen’s product, which is really, really good for creating kind of like those co citation feeds, it’s great. And I’ve used that specific strategy many, many times not for taking that buzz boost embed code, and then embedding it across web tools that might work. I’ve not tried it, it’s logical that it would I mean, it’s just like anything else that we would do with embeds, right when we do that a lot. So, for example, we have the embed gigs in MGYB, that that that would be actually a good test that I have not tested yet. But to take that buzz boost embed code and submit that to an embed gig right to for for an embed run and push it out and see where the where I’ve used it and how I’ve used it and seen without question, a benefit from it is creating that spliced feed like using ranked feeder or some other kind of feed splicer where you can add a bunch of local like local feeds. He says council I’ve used like local news or local newspaper website feeds I’ve used those I’ve used feeds from the local governments so the municipality got the municipal municipal government website for for whatever location it is a event feeds or localized like, you know, content type blog or event type calendar feeds those work good too. And then making into mixing in topical feeds. Right. So combining both topically relevant feeds that are specific to whatever it is your you know, your your, your your business you’re trying to promote, as well as location feeds, and then mix your own feeds into those also, right so the feed from your money site blog, as well as perhaps the GMB post feed if you’ve got, if you’re, if you’ve subscribed to an app where you can pull an RSS feed from your GMB posts, like your press advantage, press release feed for your organization, that that’s another feed that you can add into there. You can even put in your feeds from like your web two Dotto networks like you know your syndication networks, like from WordPress, or blogger or Tumblr, and add those into that right see that you create this massive relevancy, co citation all within the same feed. And then I’ve taken that buzz boost embed code and embedded that in the idx page for that business, and then use that idx page and then run embed gigs for the entire idx page. Right. So it’s like a multi tiered, or like what we talked about the picture and picture effect, right than the the never ending like, you know, picture type effect where it’s stalking iframes and all that. So I’ve done it that way, and then had really good success with that. And I’ve used that for multiple lead gen assets. And it’s a great strategy. So I bet I’ve not taken just that buzz boost embed code alone and run that through embed gigs, it likely would work, I’ve just not done that. So that would be a pretty cool test. But I think that’s a really good strategy. You just asked what it were What’s another way that you could use that kind of a method for push relevancy, like I said, use the ID page, and that’s Amazon s3. That’s where we prefer to host the ID pages, an s3 bucket. And then you could just embed that code into there and then take your whole ID page and do link building to that and or embed gigs with your ID page itself. So any comments on that Marco? Have you tested that by the way?

Sorry about that I was muted. No, I haven’t tried any of that because you’re like you don’t have to go to those extents. Local is pretty simple. We do the things that we do. And generally we can get the results we want and if not, we just don’t do more of it until we get the results we want.

There you go.

So yeah, Rank Feeder guys a good really good service for that because it makes great feeds for that.

What Are Other Ways To Use Amazon S3 Buckets For Link Building Aside From The ID Pages?

So Vlad is up he says aside from using the s3 id page, is there anything else we can use the Amazon s3 buckets for when it comes to link building tiers? Yeah, absolutely. I mean, you can build you can build websites with s3 there’s a lot there are several tools out there that kind of do that now.

ADM authority something builder Earl god there he’s got a really cool like WordPress plugin that will build like essentially we’ll take we’ll take make, you know, create like a, a version of a WordPress site from the like a template essentially that it then creates, you connect it to Amazon s3 and it creates like a basically like a full on website inside of it’s not you know, it’s not a CMS so it’s not you know, it doesn’t but but you can create a website in WordPress and and kind of export it directly into s3. That’s pretty cool. So they can be used great for buffer sites. Let’s just put it that way.

There’s a lot of really cool things that you can do with s3 pages because of the authority that you siphoned from Amazon. So I think they’re one of the best type of like buffer sites that you can build. They load fast or easy to make, you know, they don’t even have to look all that pretty, you can set them to no index and still just pound the shit out of them. And though, actually push, push power. So I think there’s a lot that you can do with s3, you just got to get creative with it. What do you think Marco?

I mean, there’s a lot of stuff that you could do. The whole thing is, and I keep telling people why there has to be a Why are you doing all of these things? When it’s usually enough, as I said before, with what we already do, the things that we do the way that we’ve set it up, you take care of the entity, you take care of the unpaid you take care of the schema. Then you go off paper, and you start with your if especially if it’s local. You work inside that GMB local GMB Pro. That’s the way that we use it. You run Presley’s the link building, and then embed gigs and link building. And the magic happens, like why would you do anything else? If that’s already getting the results? You can only get like number one months? You can’t get better than none? Well, yeah, above the fold, but that that all happens. So if you’re already getting that with what you’re doing, why are you looking for more, unless you’re just testing, then it has to be worth your time. If you don’t if you don’t need it, or if you’re not trying it the way that we are, but you still need more power, it just means that the base isn’t there the way that it’s supposed to be, your entity isn’t right, your own page isn’t right, your schema isn’t right. And so you’re needing more power. Because if you’re on page isn’t right, you’re always going to need more power.

And so the whole point is, if you take care of it from the beginning the way that you’re supposed to, you’re always going to have bullets in the chamber in case you need more, someone comes along and takes you down for a moment you have another bullet in the chamber. If you shoot everything at once, and you have no idea what’s going on. Then what are you going to do if someone happens to come along? And take you down? Well, you’ve already shot your wad. What the hell are you going to do? You got to wait, and what are you go? Yeah, I mean, I’ve done a lot of experimenting with s3 stuff. And it I mean, it’s, it’s it works. And it works well. Like, you know, you can rank s3 pages. The problem is a lot of times they don’t, you know, if you if you’re ranking s3 pages is great, because it can push a competitor down or whatever, but off of the page, but a lot of those, you know, unless you spend a lot of time in HTML and stuff, you know, they’re they don’t look great, right. And so, but there are actually some I know, abs rathje he’s got something that’s coming out that is really cool that you can end up like cloaking, or, you know, doing like an overlay of another site on top of an s3 page. And so there’s there’s a lot of stuff coming out on the s3 pages. That you know, if you want to experiment with that stuff, you know, just like Marco said, there’s no reason why you shouldn’t if you’ve got time to do that, because it can add it’s just like more stuff in your arsenal if needed. And that’s I think that’s an important point.

How To Steal A Competitor’s Knowledge Panel For Service Area Keywords?

Christopher’s up, he says, Christophe is up he says, What’s the best way to steal a competitor’s knowledge panel for a set of surface area keywords? I have managed outreach, outreach, a competitor for about a month, but even though I am number one, organically their knowledge panel is still shown I have an ID page drive stack and plenty of link building, going along with citations but it still won’t budge. Any advice would be awesome. You have to power up the GMB um, you know, the drive stack and all that Marco will have some good input on this. I’m sure the drive stack and all that will absolutely help. I think I don’t know how much activity you’ve put into the actual GMB itself but I think that is a big part of it too. You know, making sure that you’re posting often, you know, you the local GMB pro method essentially is, you know, geotagged images, you know, using the posting, posting often, preferably to have images that are uploaded that we’re taking, you know, original photos from mobile devices and uploaded from the mobile device to the GMB. So if you got a client, that’s something you need to task the client with. You know, there’s a lot of things that can be done in the GMB itself to start giving building that authority, but yeah, the drive stack and everything else is is certainly part of it. So Marco, what what else would you say besides the local GMB pro method, SEO power shield, schema, proper schema, of course, organizational schema with same as and knows about? Everything, I mean, everything in there properly, because then that’s going to go in your ad ID loop.

And then press releases of reinforcing the brand. It’s all about brand. It’s all about your entity but being better than the other guys entity. That’s how you get the knowledge panel. That’s the only way that the knowledge panel happened, guys, if you’re if if Google considers your entity good enough to have a knowledge panel, so how do you accomplish that entity? If the entity isn’t right, your knowledge panel isn’t going to be right in this usually then your competitor who has a knowledge panel, where you’re not going to office, proper schema, you don’t even have to do on the on the on page that you have to do is that schema then everything else takes place off page does the SEO shield, which includes the ad ID, and then link building, and then an embed run and link building until Google sees it sees that entity belonging for that keyword set.

That’s how it happened. Does that mean, you could get it, uh, other ways you could get a Wikipedia page. But I mean, you’d have to have the documentation documentation, meaning you’re in media, and you have paperwork all over the web, regarding IE, Joe. Okay, so, Joe, the plumber doesn’t get one. He doesn’t deserve a Wikipedia page. Larry, the cable guy gets a Wikipedia page. So that’s how, you know, sometimes people are thinking, Okay, so do I even get a Wikipedia page, you’ve been around long enough. Where you have the documentation where you are a known entity on the web, or you’re related to a known entity on the web, then you belong in Wikipedia. Of course, you have to pay. Wikipedia pages can range from 1000 to $2,000, depending on how much work needs to be done for you to get a Wikipedia page. But that’s another way for you to get into that knowledge panel. If you can’t get a Wikipedia page, then you do the things that I just told you to do. And you will take over that knowledge panel. But it’s going to take power. I mean, it’s not citations aren’t going to do it and like doing things haphazardly, Okay, I’m gonna go here and do this. And I’m gonna go do some link building and and see what happens. There has to be a purpose, you have to know exactly what you’re doing. So that you can just sweep that that knowledge panel, and I guarantee you that if you do it correctly, you’ll get rid of that knowledge panel, you replace it with yours.

Is Local GMB Pro A Current And Updated Approach To GMB?

Or you go good dancer. So the next question is from Curtis says, backstory, I have a client that has no internet presence at all. I am planning on purchasing your local GMB pro training for them to quickly drive leads and sales. The next step to my plan is building them in an SEO site and continue to grow their reach through organic traffic. I have two questions in regards to the plan. is local GMB Pro, a current and updated approach to GMB. Yes, it’s foundational. Like it’s nothing’s changed regarding that, because it’s, you know, it’s again, it’s like a fundamental right, it’s the fundamentals how to manipulate Google My Business itself and how to get as much you know, squeeze as much or build as much authority to that as possible. So yes, it is updated. It’s still current. It’s all of the methods that are taught local gene for GMB pro are still what I use today in my business, and I know my partner’s do as well. He says and if my idea of fast tracking leads via GMB to the client and then building them a more organic SEO site the right path, or is there a better way to accomplish the goals? Yeah, I mean, you can absolutely do that. I’ve got several local lead gen assets that I’ve built that are just GMB assets. They don’t, well, GMB and SEO shield, but they don’t have like a self hosted website, for example. And you know, that’s the only thing that I would suggest. I mean, you can absolutely do it with just GMB assets. But I recommend that you still have an SEO showed even before you go out and get like, you know, a domain and build like a WordPress site or whatever for that, that client or you know, lead buyer, I would suggest that you go with the GMB and then an SEO SEO because that’s foundational also, right, that’s part of our process. And that’s and you can get the G site as part of the the SEO shield, right the Google site, that can be your primary website for that asset until you build, you know, a an asset on a regular domain, if you so choose. But you might not even have to do that. Because you can rank the G site organically as well. Like that can be the website. So you don’t have I mean, there’s certainly benefit, in my opinion to having a WordPress site, especially for a brand that you’re going to be building for long term, but it’s not absolutely necessary. I know, Rob’s got several lead gen assets that he builds out are projects that he builds on its own. In fact, I think all of his projects are only on G sites. So yeah, yeah, yeah, that’s I as I was saying that I remembered that he said that and hopefully live that that’s all he uses the G sites. He doesn’t use WordPress at all. So I would recommend local GMB Pro. Absolutely. But adding the SEO shield to that without question, and then you’ll have the G site so you’ll have that website that you can start to build out the organic presence as well. And then you can always decide at that point whether you even need a WordPress site. So comments on that. Yeah, the only thing that’s changed and local GMB posts what Google changed as far as the Google My Business listing is concerned and whether you’re going to go back in and edit any of the vital information, the company name, phone number, address, all of that stuff that you should never change because then you’re setting yourself up for a suspension only the owner or you acting as the owner should be in there in case it gets suspended, then that then the real owner can always talk to the Google rep and get it reinstated. But if you’re in there and you’re working through a GMB, that’s that’s a, for lack of spam, they have to tack into the map, then you’re taking the chance on on getting it suspended. So you have to know what it is you’re doing. If this client.

It has a brick and mortar or an office that they work out of get that GMB for that person, make sure that you have fully completed the information as much as you can, before you send that for that pin. And then once it comes back, don’t ever touch the information again, unless you have to and and the owner should be aware in case it gets suspended. That’s the only thing. Everything else the way we teach you to do the posts, the way you go after the keywords that way you look at the insights that the information that Google gives you, the way that you approach getting images, it hasn’t changed. The training is is as Bradley said, foundational is being applied right now, to my clients. It’s been applied since it started and is going to continue to be applied. Because once is this like a snowball effect, Google starts giving you three word terms. And then two word terms. And then the one word terms come in like you saw that with Mario’s taxi. When you were doing the case study Bradley. Yeah. Right. He started paying for just the keyword taxi. So you knew that as soon as people were typing in taxi, looking for the type wherever it was the airport or whatever Marriott was being the they were getting the impression they were getting delivered Marriott wherever it wasn’t a three pack that it was they were getting it clicking. And you can see it guys started to get caught. That’s how it happened. This is how we do it. Training is current. And I don’t see any need to change it anytime soon. Yeah, unless Google changes the foundational principles inside Google My Business, which I don’t see them doing anytime soon. No, especially because I’ve seen them. You know, they’re still adding to Google My Business. And just a quick note, I certainly agree with Marco that you should try to stay away from having to edit GM B’s at all. But I’ve actually had some really good success recently. I just recently took on a new client and I had to do a whole bunch of edits to their GMB and I every time you know, every time I go to click the Save button after making edits, I always like you know, take just a second to pray to please don’t suspend, please don’t suspend. And and I’ve been really fortunate I was able to go through and literally edit the whole damn GMB listing was like starting over from scratch the phone number, the web address, I mean everything. And unfortunately, it didn’t get suspended. And I’ve actually had several of my tree Tree Service Legion assets that I’ve had to edit recently to fortunately, again, knock on wood. No, nothing’s happened. But I just was reading in a Facebook thread, somebody that just did went in and just did a simple change. And they lost just recently lost a valid GMB. So we got to be careful, guys, I don’t know what causes that. I know a few months ago, it was very like Google had an itchy trigger finger like it was super easy. If you did anything, it would get suspended. I’ve seen a lot of that roll back at least through the businesses that I’m working in. But I would I would absolutely caution you if you don’t have to make any edits at all, please don’t.

It and like Marco said, if it’s a if it’s spam to listing instead of a real bonafide listing that can be verified, again, if needed, I would recommend you don’t make any changes if possible. But if it’s a real business, a real bona fide business with a real location, then if you have to make changes, you got to make changes just be prepared in case it does get suspended that you know you got it. You always got to be prepared for that. So what I’m doing, but I’m just saying is if it’s if it’s legit, prepare the owner. Yes. Look, dude, if for whatever reason, because it does happen even to legitimate businesses.

If it does happen, then all we have to do is call Google, you as the owner with your paperwork. Why? Because they’re going to require paperwork, and we can recover it. So it’s really no big deal. But if they don’t know and they see their shit suspended. Yeah, you got to have an angry client trying to get hold of you. So why not? Just avoid all that trouble? And then and then let the client know. Yes, it can happen. But since it’s legit, then no problem. But if it isn’t, and it’s still a client, you got big problems. So avoid all that shit. Just do whatever you can or as much as you can before you send it out for that pin. And then try to never touch it again unless like Bradley said, you have to if you have to them you know what else can you do except go and pray to whatever God you believe in and hope that it doesn’t get suspended. That’s

Unknown Speaker okay, cool. So that was a good question. Um,

Is It Safe To Add Keywords In GMB Name?

Mr. T nice. pity the fool. He says is it safe to add keywords in a GMB name? brand name service one service to service three? I mean, is it safe? Well, technically, you’re not supposed to do it. Uh, Is it safe? I don’t do it. But you see it all the time in GMB maps, right in the three pack, you see it all the time spam, I mean, some of them are absolutely ridiculous that you see, you know, it’ll be like Joe, Joe’s plumbing, then, you know, the pipe symbol, or dash or whatever. And then every fucking service that he’s got, I swear, like, you know, it’s like eight different keyboard sets that are all or keywords, essentially, that are all stuffed into the GMB name. And you see that sometimes, and they it’s a problem with GMB maps that you see, in certain certain search queries, you’ll see it more than others. But I’ve never done that. And I recommend you don’t do it. Just because, you know, even though I know that’s still prevalent today, I just, I don’t want to do that and then have something you know, at some point down the road, it gets suspended because it’s a spammy title. Right? It’s a spammy business name. So I keep it, the only thing that I do is for some of the brands that I have built for, like lead gen assets, for example, because I don’t, I don’t like to just do standalone lead gen assets anymore, like, you know, one offs or orphaned lead gen assets, I try to build a brand out of any lead gen.

You know, industry that I’m going to go into generate leads, I try to build a brand around it a pseudo brand, right.

So you know, the only thing that I will do there is I will name the GMB location, the brand name, but then I’ll add or append the city that it’s that that particular location is located in as so for example, you know, like, Joe’s plumbing call pepper, Joe’s plumbing, Fairfax, even if the brand name is only Joe’s plumbing, I might add, append the name to it, and part of the reason or excuse me, the city to the business name. And part of the reason I do that is because especially when you get into like, you know, looking at manage locations, if you got a bunch of locations on our manager account, which again, there’s some some reasons why you might not want to do that, too. It’s hard to determine which location it is without because they all share the same brand name. So like, I’d like to add that because it First of all, it does inject a little bit of additional relevancy, but it’s kind of to me like a, like a location identifier, instead of like trying to stuff it or spam it with keywords. So that’s the only thing that I do that, but but I see it all the time and the SERPs or the you know, the three pack, keyword stuffed business names, Jambi business names, and I don’t ever recommend doing that. Can you get away with it? Most likely, but I would encourage you against doing that. comments.

How Do You Handle An iFrame Breaker?

Moving on, Fitz is up. Good day, gents. Thanks for this platform to get actionable answers to real world questions. Marco, can you drop the link for the charity you can always count on fits Marco asked for the link. I’m sure a couple people here will love to learn something that works to help works and helps a couple of kids stay in school for as little as $20 one time. Thanks, Fitz. We always appreciate you mentioning that. As question is my client has a GoDaddy site that appears to have an iframe breaker. Have you come across that before? Yeah, not not a GoDaddy site? because anytime anybody has a GoDaddy site, if it’s a prospect that says, Well, I’ve got a GoDaddy site, can you help me I see only if we switch it over to something else.

Like I just I won’t work on a GoDaddy site, because it sucks. However, it wasn’t a GoDaddy site. But recently, I just asked Marco about one of my brands for lead gen stuff had on at the server level at the host level, they had an iframe breaker on it. And I asked Marco to take a look at it, because it apparently they just added that recently, because but I’ve been able to iframe the site before and then all of a sudden, in the last like, month or so, like, I noticed that the iframes were all broken. And I asked Marco like why would this not work anymore? And he said, Well, there’s an iframe breaker in it. And he said, it’s not done at the, you know, on the theme level within WordPress, then it’s it’s probably done at your server or your host level. But you know, in the server and So sure enough, I call it contacted the host, and that was the issue. And they did not want to release or remove that. So I ended up migrating the site from that host to another host. And I just did that like two weeks ago, actually. So you know, not GoDaddy specifically, but have I come across that before? Yes, one of my own brands, like I said, I just literally move that migrated to another server about two weeks ago.

So that’s what I would suggest. If you’ve got a site that’s I don’t know if it’s a GoDaddy site, or it’s a site just hosted on GoDaddy hosting, but in either case, I would get it the hell off of GoDaddy, period. Okay, get it to a better server, and probably a better CMS if it is a GoDaddy type site that you know, site instead of just the hosting alone, but that would be my suggestion, Marco.

Yeah, run from anybody who forces you to have things that you don’t want on your server, you don’t want it and an X frame on your server, why in the world would they install an X frame breaker without asking you, if you want one, like it to me, it’s ridiculous what they do. I love liquid web, I recommend liquid web. Those of you who have clients and say you’re at the 567 client range, then that’s enough to like bring them all together, get get yourself a liquid web VPS and put them all on your own. Yes, thing you do charge a little more, you’re gonna have like, fantastic customer service, because they’re right there. They’re going to fix everything for you. They’re gonna help you migrate. They’re gonna take care of everything for you. And then you become your own hosting company through liquid web. Yep. I mean, it’s another source of revenue. Yeah, yeah. Yeah.

Also, I would just, you know, I love liquid web as well. There’s my two favorites are liquid web and WP x hosting, which was Terry Kyle’s hosting platform, I can vouch for them. I’m using WP x hosting quite heavily right now, as well, their support is on par with liquid webs. Which is like I mean, swear that you can submit if you go to chat support chat, and you submit it within 60 seconds, you always get a reply, and they’re on it. So I can vouch for WP x, there are some limitations with WP x that you don’t have with liquid web, though. So liquid was a little bit more expensive. But as Marco said, if you’ve got several, you know, just a handful of clients and you move them over to where they’re hosting with you. Instead, you can you can actually turn that into a stream of revenue. So those would be my two recommendations.

How can you How can I handle that? Yeah, again, run away from GoDaddy as quickly as possible.

What Sites Would You Use To Get A Mirror In Mirror iFraming Effect?

Also, since the new Google sites have an iframe breaker, what sites would you use to get the mirror and mirror iframe effect? Well, we still iframe, you still get the Mirror Mirror iframe effect, just maybe not necessarily from the G site itself. Because like, for example, like if you’re using press advantage, you get the organization page and your website is iframe into the organization page as long as well as the Google Map if it’s for local, right, and then you iframe depressive Vantage page into like your idx page. So now you’ve got multiple iframes there, and you know what I mean, and you got iframe, your website and your idx page. And so I mean, again, there’s what I do is just link out to the G site now from my idx pages. So you know, there’s a link, you know, links out to it directly to it, but you can iframe it, so I don’t just don’t iframe it anymore. But you can still get that mirror mirror effect or mirror in mirror effect, through all of the other iframe stacks that we built.

What else is there, you can still, you can still iframe on the new GS right away to embed everything on there, we’re still using those. So I don’t see why that would be a problem. You can’t take that and iframe it anywhere else. But I mean, if you’re if you’re theme mirroring, like we recommend, and you’re bringing your money site, inner page into an error page on that g site, I think you’re accomplishing you.

Fuck, I don’t want to get into an iframe conversation. But we’re missing the obvious, the obvious is that you get a bounce back and forth the mirror and mirror effect that that I’ve been talking about for years, and people are just now discovering, you get the bounce and and it’s a legitimate bounce that wherever whatever it is that you have iframe on that g site is going to benefit. And not only does that benefit, but the G site benefits. And if you if you lit build into either one, I’m not recommending Nick building into the money site. So no, Marco did not say link built into it. I do, but I know what the fuck I’m doing. You guys should unless you know what you’re doing.

But if your link building then everything in that iframe, the source and the destination, they both benefit. And they both benefit almost as much. There’s only like, there’s very little atrophy or link power loss through that iframe. So you hammer it. That’s what iframes are for the foundation of rank your shit Academy has not changed. It’s still relevant to the six years later almost since since I since I started the journey with Dr. Gary and and it’s still working. And we were talking today last night in our mini mastermind. It’s working better today than it was about a year ago. And not as well as it was in the beginning when we were ranking. Empty folders is remember when we did it live. We ranked an empty folder live. Yeah, yeah. Those days are gone. For all practical and for all intents and purposes. But but but the power will build where you can still do that.

That you just have to accrue enough power. And it’s all done through iframes. People are just forgetting how good iframes and embeds work. Get an embed gig from MGYB and dedhia. And link build to those embeds and see what happens man. Don’t forget, don’t forget people are sleeping on those iframes.

What Do You Use To Automate GMB Posting?

Dustin says, Hey guys, what do you use for automated GMB posting? Well, I’m still using citation builder Pro, the GMB briefcase is that I haven’t I haven’t gone to the front end of that in quite some time, the front end website. I’m trying to pull that up to see.

But we, you know, we we kind of help Yeah, this is it. Um, so, this is the GMB briefcase. That’s what I’m using. I’ve been using this since you know, shripad develop this, which was probably what, three years ago now. Something like that. And it’s come a long, long way guys, this is a much, much better system now. Like the dashboard, everything it this is a really good service. I know there’s others out there, this is the one that I use. And it’s just because we had a you know, St. Patty’s, you know, he’s, he, he’s really responsive and everything else. But, you know, he, when it was very crude in its very early stages, uh, he, you know, we kind of pushed this a bit because we were working with him to help develop some of the stuff like, you know, features and things like that. And since then it’s come a long, long way. And it’s funny because I was just adding the new client that I got into the GMB briefcase for I’ve got a you know, VA that does all the blogging and all the GMB posts, so she has access and had to go add the new account, you know, the new GMB location to this and then add it to her sub account so that she could pull it up and post GMB posts and schedule posts and all that. And it was the first time I had logged into it and months. And I was just like, holy shit, it’s way different. That’s much more intuitive. There’s a ton of additional features in there. Now there’s local rank tracking and all kinds of like map map rank tracking, like with the, you know, the pin grids, and all that kind of stuff, like you’ve seen, I’m sure all of that’s available in here now. So it’s it’s, it’s become a much more robust tool, I’ve just been using it forever, just because it was already built into my, you know, my processes. And I didn’t want to switch to another tool, even though I knew it that, you know, cup a year ago, year and a half ago, there were other tools out there that had more functionality. I just didn’t want to go and kind of have to update all my processes. So I just stuck with it, because it did what we needed it to do. And it’s come a hell of a long way since then. So this is a good service, I would highly recommend you check it out. He comments on that.

No, cuz I still get a VA to do all my posting. Yeah. Why do too, but it’s all done in that app. It’s what I’m saying she manages everything through that app now because she does a bunch of location. So

I do a bunch of locations to I just have the VA go in as manager and do it all.

Is It Okay To Use The Same Domains That Have Backlinks To The Money Site And Tier 2 Links?

Bibi says, Hey, guys, what’s up? He but by the way, he says Is it okay to use the same domains, which have backlinks to a money page, also, as tier two links will cause link atrophy?

So you mean, if you have domains that you’re using to build backlinks to other domains? Is it okay, if you’re building links, tier one links to your target property to then use the domain that you built the links from? to target tier one links is also? Yeah, but you got to be careful because you can create a footprint from that too. Right? So you just I mean, can you do it? Yes, you can do it. And yet again, just like all these questions for the last several weeks BB have been similar in nature.

So it’s the same answer that I’ve given you for the past several weeks is that there is a level at which or a threshold at which that becomes it produces diminishing returns, or they stop being counted all together. So you got again, it’s the same answer that I’ve given for the last several weeks about building links from you know, a limited or the same domain? How, what at what level? What number of links? does it stop counting? Or does it stop? does it provide it produce a diminishing return? And I don’t know what that is? Because I think it varies depending on the authority, or the strength of the source and all that kind of stuff. But so again, it’s the same answer that I’ve given you before, can you do it? Yeah, can you have some benefit from it, you can to a degree to a point. And I don’t know what I don’t know what that point is. And you and again, you have to also be careful about footprints. When you start to do that when you start linking from, you know, your your source domains, essentially the ones that you’re building links from, to multiple tiers within your entity assets in my like, you know, different tiers out you just got to be careful because, again, you can start to create kind of like a link map. It’s very easy for the algorithms to look at the links and determine that you know, you’ve got a few key assets that you’re using to produce links or to push build links to your other assets. And that can be kind of it can just get discounted all together to where there’s really no benefit to it. So, again, similar to the the answers that I’ve given the last few weeks is that, you know, you can get away with it to a certain point. But why? And that’s, that’s really the question is why comments on that? Yeah. So you have domain a, and domain B domain, a is providing a backlink to domain B. Correct. So domain a has PageRank. One, domain B is going to have, if that’s the only link, so this is this is in a vacuum, baby. So I can answer your atrophy question in a vacuum a links to B. And note, there’s no links anywhere else with a having PageRank. One, B is going to have something less than PR one, because the hub atrophies by 15% or less, so you’re going to get 85% or more. I don’t know if you get a one to one ever anymore. used to not anymore since Google introduced the link atrophy. Alright, so that’s a B. Over time, both of those will become zero. Because there’s no other backlinks supporting either that PageRank one or that page rank, less than one but greater than point eight, five, simple math guy, right? A PR one be something less than one, but greater than point eight, five. That’s how it works. All right, over time, nothing supports that. And so they will both lose, probably in the next cycle, that PageRank one will go to zero. And that less than one, of course is zero, because whatever is backing it up goes to zero, something has to back up that PR one and continue boosting it. Or for some reason, Google has to find that it can keep its PageRank, one, two keeps and keep supporting that PageRank less than one but greater than 85. I hope that makes sense. What causes atrophy is something that Google inserts into that it’s part of the algorithm that will cause the link to atrophy over time. It’s not magically delicious, it’s not a safe, something that you do will cause it to atrophy. It just does atrophy. Because that’s how Google will work that out. You have to make up for that link loss somehow, and adding links to somewhere else is not going to support it. I think you’re looking at this the wrong way. Go back and read the PageRank the PageRank patents so that you understand how PageRank works, how it accrues and how it’s how even it’s divided. so that you understand what it is that you’re doing. Because from this, I mean, we’re working in a vacuum, you’re going to end up with two PR zeros or three, whatever it is, you’re going to end up with zero because it has the PageRank has to be supported from somewhere else. This is why we’re always thinking building.

Yeah. And you can prevent atrophy through activity, right. Like that’s one of the things that helps to prevent that. Is that correct?

In other words, a link is more likely to atrophy if it doesn’t have ever any traffic on it. Right. Any engagement.

I Yeah, actually, you can build your own.

Right through activity, relevance, trust and authority. I mean, you can boost your own. But the simple math says that you need more next, to support that PageRank you need more things, right. But what I was saying is that coming through that link, Kim, people coming through those links, will help strengthen the entity and you may be able to support your PageRank natively. I don’t know how that works. I don’t know if that’s even possible. But the simple math, the simpler if we go to the PageRank math, is you need a link with PageRank. One to push the next page to something less than one, but greater than 85. Then point eight five Sorry, sorry, because there’s a there’s a there’s at most a 15% loss per hop.

Right. That’s that’s the math. That’s the PageRank math.

Cool. Yeah, man, we could get into a hell of a discussion about that as we go down that rabbit hole.

What Are The Reasons Why IFTTT Doesn’t Work For Two Similar Posts On The Website?

so pavlos up, he says, Hey, guys, I have two questions. IFTTT doesn’t work when I’m posting not updating the same post on the website. Not sure I understand that question. When you’re posting the same post on the website, not updating it. Okay, again, I don’t understand unless you’re trying to repost the same post.

That might be what? Okay, Pablo, if I’m interpreting your question correctly, you’re saying that you are trying to repost a post, not update it, but just repost it so that it publishes. Is that it? And again, I know this isn’t real time. So I don’t know if you’ll, if you’ll be able to answer that. But if that’s what you’re saying, I’ve experienced that sometimes Yes. And I don’t know what causes that. So one of the things like if you want to manually force a post to re syndicate, one of the things you can do is go in, if it’s in WordPress, for example, and set it to draft it. So like essentially unpublish it, but you set it to like draft mode, save it, then set the scheduled publishing time for like, you know, three minutes ahead of whatever current time is, then save it. So that now it’s scheduled to publish within a couple of you know, three minutes or whatever, whatever you set it for. And then sometimes you have to force it to refresh. So like, in other words, wait till that time passes. And once it’s past the publishing time, just go visit the page or something like that, and that will cause a WordPress, cron or whatever to trigger, and that will force it back into the feed. And it will trigger it’s supposed to trigger as a new feed item at that point. I have experienced at times where it just doesn’t work. And I don’t know if it’s a theme issue, or what it is that causes sometimes that not to work and if it but usually that will do it that’ll that’ll force it to report, like essentially reinserted back at the top of the feed and will detect it as a new feed item. And then republish like, it’ll trigger IFTTT to just, you know, to fire the apps so that it will re syndicate. However, there is, you know, a specific idea, I think for that, what is it like a G UID, or something like that they in the XML code that if that doesn’t update, sometimes it just won’t trigger. Even if it’s been reinserted to the top of the feed, it won’t trigger because it’s not detected as a new feed item. Like in other words, if I if I have ttt is looking at that ID or whatever. And again, I’m not a coder. So, but I think it’s like a G UID or something like that. Anyways, if it’s looking at that, and it’s that hasn’t changed, even if the date has changed, right, then and the placement of the post within the feet has changed. If that doesn’t change, then it doesn’t trigger. I don’t know because I don’t work five ttt. I just know that I’ve experienced what you’re talking about, if that’s what you’re talking about. There’s two things that I’ve seen. Just two ways that I’ve remedied that one is to use a plugin that works. What does it republish old posts? Yeah, that’s one of them. Standby. Let me pull that up real quick. It’s republish old posts plugin. I’ve talked about this before. So this one right here, info lithic I think is the name of the info lift lifted right here. This one right here. There’s a free version works great. If you want to spend like nine bucks to get the pro version, the pro version has a ton of additional features. This works really really well. I don’t know why this works betters I’ve actually like where I’ve tried to manually reef repost or, you know, republish a post to force it to syndicate again, and it didn’t work. And then I’ve added this plugin, set the parameters for it to force it to republish, and it’s republished, and it’s worked. So again, I don’t know what this does different than doing it manually. But I’ve had this plugin right here has worked. So you might want to try that. The other thing that I’ve done in that case, is just taking the the manually, in the case that it just I wasn’t able to get it to work period manually, I’ve taken the article and republished it on to like blogger, for example, or Tumblr or something like that, and used that as the feed to trigger the other applets so that it ends up pushing out through the entire network, you can keep the same essentially, you know, attribution link in everything to push credit back to the original source, which would be your blog, but again, that’s a very manual process. And I try to avoid that at any at all costs. And that’s where a plugin like this will help. Okay.

What Are Potential Reasons Why There Are Ranking Improvements From Using SEO Shield, Map Embeds, Press Release?

Second part of that, unfortunately, after three months, I can’t see much ranking results from making SEO shield map embeds press releases, etc. question Where can I find a list of things that I can check or compare other words where I made a mistake? Thanks a million. Okay, uh, Marco, do we have something that we could point him to specifically other than just one of our groups, the SEO shield.com Okay. And, of course, the the SEO battle plan.

Okay. So the SEO service that’s step by step on on what it is that you’re supposed to be doing. And if you skipped any of those, then you’re probably gonna have issues if you’re if you’re on site is garbage. I’m not saying it is. I’m not picking on you, Pablo. I’m not saying you’re on site SEO is garbage. But in general, if it is, then you’re going to really need to hammer it in order to get everything off site to overcome the issues that you have on site, so that that could be a big issue, if your schema isn’t right, if your entities, I mean, it could be so many things, why you’re having problems after three months, although you’re at the mark where you should be seeing results. So these things aren’t working. Yeah, there’s issues and you have to detect what those issues are. And I would start with entity. Because right now, from everything that I’m doing, from everything that I’m seeing from people, what their what their problem, but the problems, that they’re having our it’s easy, it’s usually entity, it’s usually on page, that’s garbage and needs to be fixed. And it’s all about schema. And once you get those correct on your website, and working properly, and then everything else comes together, the power is going to flow correctly, but somewhere along the line, the power is getting shut off so that it’s not flowing through the way that it’s supposed to. Yeah, and I would you know, again, I totally agree with Marco that, you know, some of the things I would look into would be first of all, you see mirroring, you know, how have you have you? Have you mirrored everything from your money site to your G site, drive stack? You know, all of that, has that been done correctly? Um, I know, we’ve we’ve even had mastermind members that have come in and despite all the training that they’ve received, haven’t done those things. And then they come to us and say, well, it’s not working. And then I audit, you know, because in mastermind, we audit sites and things, you know, we were happy to do that. And then I go look at stuff and say, Well, you’ve got pages here that are like, essentially orphan pages. They’re not, you know, there’s no theme mirroring being done. There’s like all this stuff that just gets overlooked or skipped. And then they blame us and say, Well, your methods don’t work. No, it’s like the guy that we had is in our mastermind or syndication Academy, I think I can’t remember. But remember, he went in to rank for DUI attorney? Was it Toronto, Ontario or Ontario, Toronto, one of those DUI attorney Toronto, I think it was Toronto, but he did to Jeanette to like, really short GMB or excuse me blog posts to a syndication network and said he wasn’t ranking for DUI attorney Toronto, your shit doesn’t work.

So all I’m saying bb, I’m not saying that’s your problem, I’m just saying that would be one of the first things that I would check is make sure you know, Mark, it says on page or else you can just continue to the hammer the off page stuff, which you certainly can do. But you can get usually a lot better results just from, in my opinion with less work and less money by fixing all the on page stuff first. So mirroring is what I would check. But then also, like Marco said, you can just keep hammering away and the entity stuff. There’s no question. That’s a big factor right now for sure. Like a simple thing to go check right now Pablo is take your brand. So just just whatever it is, like DC plumber, right? Without quotes without.com without anything, take your brand, whatever your brand name is. And if page one, if you don’t dominate page one for your brand, then you have entity issues. And you need to fix those before Google is even going to pay attention to you. Because there’s another brand that I can guarantee that Google is liking more than yours. And it’s considering that the entity for that keyword set and so you’re always going to have problems you fix those. And then you hammer it. Yeah.

Does New Drive Stacks Rebuild Automatically?

Yeah, I agree. Jim dumpszone says, Hey, gang question about drive stacks with older stacks. There was a script to rebuild the stack on a set schedule. I believe this feature was lost when the new style g sites were implemented. They do figure out a workaround for this. No. Okay. No, because that was strictly for the classic. Yeah, the new ones don’t need a script. So do the new stacks rebuild automatically? No, they don’t. Right? Because we don’t have a script.

Have You Tried Training OpenAI In A Niche To Write Unique Content For Tier 2 And Beyond Sites?

Okay, one other question. If there��s time. Have any of you guys tried training open? I tried training open AI in a niche field to write unique content for you. tier two or beyond sites. Thanks again. No, but wasn’t Adam just talking about that? Yeah. slack. Adam.

Yeah. Open AI. Like I haven’t even played with it yet. So yeah, a lot of great. Well, let me in. Yeah, it’s still in closed beta. So yeah, there’s some crazy stuff coming down the pipeline. I was actually just looking at some stuff right now with the previous version just to get up speaks I haven’t done any coding in several years. So anyway, yeah, I am naughty stuff coming down. I’m looking forward Just give me one second guys. I got a pause the screen for a minute, but I know we’re out of time. But I just I just found this one and I was looking at the Okay, so I was looking at what

Adam posted in slack to us about what you were just talking about it you know, the AI or whatever it was a GBT three or some shit what’s Yeah. GPT three is the current iteration that comes from a company called Open AI or a collaboration, I forget exactly what their. And so I started looking at my Elon Musk or something. Yep. Yeah. And when I was looking into that I came across this. Has anybody played with this? I just signed up for today and started playing with it. But the content came out like shit. So I don’t know. But I only played with it for like, 10 minutes. No kidding. So, no, but that’s always the problem. The problem is getting the content where it’s where a human won’t have any problems with it. Right? Well, you will, you will know it’s a bot. what’s what’s great about open AI is that they’re getting it to the point where it’s difficult for a normal person to recognize that it’s about writing from whatever, from a database, or wherever it is that you’re gathering your content from. It’s really, really interesting. Yeah, it’s, the best explanation I’ve heard is that it was like it’s on level with like a freshman in a college level, to say, of course, someone who’s a master or a professor of a area would understand that there might be issues with it, but to anyone, just a general knowledge, they probably wouldn’t be able to tell. And at some point, like, that’s good enough. It’s not that you’re faking content, it’s that the content is that good. That it’s good enough, you know, for certain things, if you’re trying to use this to write a brief for a lawyer, it’s gonna fall flat on its face. But if you’re trying to write a get an article about how to water your flowers, why not this isn’t spam. It’s actually how to water your flowers. So some interesting stuff there.

Yeah, and I just quick, quickly, and it looks like Jim says, he’s been training GPT to How the hell do you get access, Jim? So you can get access? So that’s the version I believe it’s I mean, I know it’s been out for a while I forget what it was. Well, that’s the to remember. Yeah. Gotcha. He says it’s getting pretty accurate with the data set. I’m providing it. So that’s cool. I might want to play with that. Just real quick. I know we’re out of time. But uh, at POFU Live, we had a couple people talk about using phrase.io I think it is and article forge article forge two dot O, which is like an AI content generator that I signed up for a trial account about a month and a half ago. And you know, I cancelled because the content was garbage. But the way that I was told it to that it can work well is to generate content with the article forge and then optimize it with phrase and so that might just be something else that you guys want to look into. I haven’t done that just yet. But I’m probably going to start I got an accountant phrase and I just haven’t started messing with it yet. But I plan on it because it looks pretty cool. So yeah, it’s pretty nice. can confirm I’ve used it for a couple articles. It’s an answer to Pablo. It’s called the heavy hitter members only club. Find us on Facebook man join a heavy hitter. heavy hitters club. heavy hitter club. Yeah, you can go there too. So and by the way, it looks like Jim said

What did I just see that?

Okay, yeah, the G UID. thing. Yeah, he says I could be wrong but IFTTT triggers on the God that I thanks for confirming that Jim. So anyways, Alright guys, thanks everybody for being here. We will see you guys next week and see you later.

Source: Semantic Mastery Weekly SEO Q&A – Hump Day Hangouts – Episode 309 published first on your-t1-blog-url

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