#sorry for putting these next tags in but I'm hoping this pushes it to everyone who might like it even if they havent read erha yet

[remescient]

Erha x Epic: Would You Fall In Love With Me Again?

This song came out around the time I was catching up with the English books for "The Husky and His White Cat Shizun" and made me immediately think of Chu Wanning and Mo Ran. So I made a small animation for it :) I hope you all wallow in ranwan angst like me enjoy it!

[pedroscurls]

in every lifetime

summary: you lost logan in this universe. logan lost you in his. what happens when you both see each other again, but realize that you're both from different worlds? pairing: logan howlett x fem!reader warnings: post deadpool & wolverine ("worst" logan!variant), angst (mentions of death, loss from both reader and logan), no use of y/n. word count: 2.1k a/n: this is my first logan fic, so if anything is ooc, i'm sorry in advanced! just like everyone else, i've been obsessed with hugh jackman / logan after watching deadpool & wolverine (if it isn't obvious lol)... i had the song 'unchained melody' in mind when writing this story because whenever i hear it, i think of logan for some reason lol (tried to embed it but it didn't work, but i'd highly recommend listening to the song while reading this!) anyway, hope you enjoy! next part.

“I’ll be back.”

“But what if–”

“I always come back, bub.” Logan’s looking down at you, hand cupping your cheek. In moments like this, you can see the age in his features. The crows feet at the corners of his eyes. The gray in his hair and beard. 

“Logan…” Tears sting your eyes. You know he has to leave, has to go help Charles, but there’s a feeling deep in your gut that knows that if he goes, he isn't coming back. 

“Wait for me, then.” He says, dipping down to gently peck your lips. “Okay? Wait for me.” 

“Logan,” you repeat. “What do I do if I– if I lose you?” 

There’s a feeling in the pit of Logan’s stomach, a sense of dread and fear that he’s only ever felt when you were concerned. This feels a lot like a goodbye… That maybe if he does go, he won’t come back. And the thought alone scares him. He never used to have to think about the possibility of dying, his regenerative powers always healing him in record time, but he knows that he doesn’t heal as quickly as before. He feels more pain now than he ever had. And he knows he’s sick, knows that the adamantium that once gave him strength is now slowly making him weaker.

But now, the thought of dying… It fucking scared him. It scared him to think that he’d leave you here, all alone, grieving him. He had never thought he’d be deserving of someone like you, to be loved and taken care of so gently, so sweetly, so patiently. Even with all of the baggage he carried, you never pushed. He knew, right off the bat, that you deserved someone so much better than him, but you stayed. 

Through it all, you stayed. 

And Logan would forever be grateful. After everything he’s been through, the things he’s seen, the things he had to do, the people he’s lost, you gave him a life that was finally worth living. 

“Then, you move on, darlin’.” Logan finally answers. 

“And if I can’t?” 

“You’ll have to.” 

“I don’t… I don’t want you to go, but I know that you have to. Charles needs you and–”

“I love you with every fiber of my being, baby,” Logan interjects. “And I will love you in every lifetime.” 

And that was almost a year ago. The moment he stopped calling, you knew that was it. That he either got into some real trouble or… Or that he was no longer here. It wasn’t until a young girl named Laura showed up on your doorstep, holding his dog tags that your assumptions were correct. 

You had fallen to your knees, a sob escaping your lips, as you felt your world come crashing down. Logan’s death had left a gaping hole in your heart, in your life, and everywhere you looked and everywhere you went, all you could see was him. 

You learned from Laura that during his last moments, he had told her to come and find you, that you would take care of her and give her a good life. Whenever you were around her, you tried to be strong, tried to put on a brave front, but behind closed doors, you were a complete mess. There were days where you didn’t want to get out of bed, didn’t want to eat; you just wanted the pain to stop. Every night, whenever you closed your eyes, you forced yourself to sleep because that was the only place where you could be with him. 

In your dreams, he was alive. 

In your dreams, he had made it back home.

In your dreams, he was here with you, helping raise Laura. 

And every time you woke up, you were welcomed with the sudden reality that he wasn’t alive. He wasn’t coming back home. He wasn’t ever going to be here with you to help raise Laura. 

Logan was dead and now, you had to try and learn how to move on. 

For yourself.

For Laura.

For Logan. 

—

He didn’t know what he was doing here, why he agreed to stay with Wade because it was driving him crazy. This wasn’t even his timeline; he wasn’t even meant to be here. Despite saving Wade’s timeline, Logan still found it hard to fit in. He tried to keep Wade and every single one of his friends at an arm's distance because he knows what happens to people he cares about. 

But the more time he spent around them, the more he felt at ease. Logan would be lying if he said he was waiting for the other shoe to drop, but when Laura mentioned your name at one of Wade’s family dinners, his heart skipped a beat. When he realized he would be able to stay in this timeline, you were all he could think about. 

Logan wondered if you existed in this world and what he would do if you did. So, when Laura casually said your name, his head turned around so quickly that he felt dizzy. There were so many things he regretted in his own timeline, but you were his biggest regret. 

Just like he failed the other X-men, Logan had failed you too. You had been there with the other X-men, trying to warn them of a planned attack and ended up getting caught in the crossfire. You had called out for him, just like Scott, like Charles, like Storm. 

He managed to get to you before you had taken your last breath, holding you in his arms. Logan begged and begged for you to fight, that he’d do things right from now on as long as you just held on, but you were losing so much blood and Logan couldn’t stop it. 

Even then, when you had every right to be angry with him, you gazed up at him with an understanding look on your face. You had always been so patient and kind, so sweet and considerate. You had made him so happy and it scared him, which ultimately ended in pushing you away because he didn’t think he was deserving of it. Of you. 

“I love you, Logan,” you had said, wincing at the pain. 

“I’m sorry, I’m sorry, I’m–” Logan felt a sob catch in his throat, tears stinging his eyes as he looked down at you. “Please, baby, please please please, don’t–”

“I–” you coughed, eyes fluttering as you felt the pain overcome your entire body. “I will love you in every lifetime, Logan.” And then, you took your last breath, eyes falling shut and body falling limp in his arms. 

Since then, Logan drank himself day after day, from dawn to dusk. The alcohol never truly helped, his regenerative powers sobering him so fast, but with every swig of liquor, it burned. And he spent years bringing pain unto others, including himself. 

That was, until he met Wade who had given him a chance, a reason to fight for something… To not turn his back on someone who relied on him. A chance for redemption, to finally make things right. 

“So, will you meet her?” Laura asks, holding Dogpool in her arms as she gazes up at Logan. “She– She used to be with this universe’s Logan and…”

“No chance, kid.” Logan interrupts, shaking his head. “I’m not him.” 

“Did you have someone like her in yours?” she asks. “She’s always put me first, always made sure I was taken care of even when she didn’t have to, when she was grieving. And I think–” Laura sighs. “I think if she knows that some version of you is alive, it would make her real happy.”

“I’m not him,” Logan growls, feeling his irritation spike. “‘Sides, she’s better off without me.” He stands from the table and walks out into Wade’s balcony to get some fresh air, shutting the door behind him as he leans against the railing.

“But she’s coming tonight,” Laura finally says, long after Logan’s walked away.

Throughout the rest of the dinner, Logan remains outside. He can hear the muffled laughter coming from inside and it only angered him because it was just another confirmation that he didn’t belong here. He’s already on his fourth bottle of beer when he hears a familiar voice, smells a recognizable scent. He turns slightly and catches you stepping into Wade’s apartment, an arm slinging over Laura’s shoulders so casually, so maternally. 

He feels his heart rate pick up. Your smile still lights up a room and he can’t help but his lips turning upwards at the sight. With his enhanced hearing, Logan can hear your voice and he shuts his eyes for a moment, tuning all of his attention on you until you’re the only one he hears. 

Then, he hears your laugh and he lets out a sigh. He never thought he’d be able to hear that again, but his eyes shoot open when he hears you say his name. There’s a shocked tone in your voice, laced with sadness and hope. It all but crushes him because he knows that you’re probably expecting someone else, expecting this world’s Logan and he doesn’t want to disappoint you. Not again. He doesn’t think he’d be able to handle it if he were to hurt you again. 

But when he looks at you, his breath catches in his throat when your eyes meet his. Logan notices the surprise look on your face, but before he could try and escape, you’re already walking towards him. When you open the door and step out with him, your scent fills his senses and it makes him dizzy, like he can’t fully concentrate. 

“You…” he hears you say, voice unsteady. “You’re not… I’m–” you sigh and shake your head. 

“I know who you are,” Logan finally says, his own voice shaky. 

Your hands reach out for him, but stopping halfway when you realize this isn’t your Logan. This is not the same man who died all those years ago. This is some version of him – much younger, less wrinkles and gray hairs in his hair and beard, but he still has that same look on his face. The scowl. 

“From Laura?” you ask hesitantly. 

“From my universe,” Logan answers. 

“There– There’s a version of me in your universe?” 

“There was.”

“And what happened to me?” 

Logan’s jaw tightens. “The same thing that happened to your Logan in this universe.”

“Oh.” Your face drops, eyes softening. “I’m sorry,” you whisper. 

Logan wants to run far from here, far from you because he feels himself yearning for more. He almost forgot how it felt like to be near you, to be inches away that he can just reach out and pull you into his arms. Your eyes captivate him, the kindness it expresses makes him feel like he matters. You had always made him feel that way that even through all of his anger, through all of the walls he put up, you showed him that he was deserving of something good. Even if he didn’t believe it himself. 

And you… You were the best thing to ever happen to him.

“Don’t know why you’re apologizin’,” Logan mutters. 

There’s an uncomfortable silence that engulfs the both of you. He can see the tears threatening to spill over, can see the way your lower lip is beginning to tremble and he has this sudden urge to console you, to wipe away the tears that have now fallen down your cheeks. 

“I’m sorry,” you repeat, bringing your hands up to wipe away the tears that seem to be trickling down your face nonstop. “I just– Losing my Logan just crushed me and I don’t think I’ve ever recovered.” 

My Logan. 

Logan can practically feel his heart beating in his chest. This isn’t a conversation that he thought he would be having and certainly not with someone he loved and died because of him. 

“That’s okay,” Logan responds quietly, his tone softening. “I don’t think it’s easy to recover from losing someone you love.”

“Did you– Did you love me in your universe?” 

Logan nods slowly, tightening his jaw as he gazes down at you. “With every fiber of my being.” 

Your eyes widen and stare up at him. This might be a different Logan, but hearing those words again just brings you back to the moment you last saw your Logan before he left to go take care of Charles. 

“Did you love me in yours?” Logan asks hesitantly.

You nod instantly, tears trickling down your cheek as you stare up at him. “I’d love you in every lifetime.” 

Logan feels his own set of tears pool at the corners of his eyes and he moves a hand to rest on the railing, fingers lightly brushing against yours as he stares into your eyes. 

“I’m not him,” he whispers. 

“I know,” you say quietly. “And I’m not her.” 

[manicmanuscription]

Hi there! I have a request for a ff if you’re still taking suggestions. I would love to read a ff of Azriel x Mate!reader and they decide to keep their relationship private from the IC, (Maybe because of the whole Elain situation, I’ll leave it up to you!)and maybe they have a little baby aswell! And the IC end up finding out and want to get to know Azriel’s family. Sorry if this is so bad, feel free to ignore if you hate the request xx

Weight

A/N: Hi Love! I'm so fucking sorry for how long this request took me to get too! I genuinely love it but it took me forever to decide which direction to go in I swear I rewrote it like four times so I hope you like the version I ended up with! Thank you for request <3

Pairing: Azriel x Reader

Word Count: 1584

Warnings/Tags: Angst, IC Fighting, Rhysand lowkey painted as bad guy (but it's only for plot don't come after me that's my husband.) Happy/Hopeful Ending

Summary: Azriel has hidden his daughter and mate from his family but an accidental run in in Velaris ruins it all.

acotar masterlist | main masterlist

The door to my shared bedroom with my mate opened with a soft click. Yet I knew he was coming the second he set foot in our home. The spymaster himself purposefully made his footsteps loud enough for me to not be startled and yet not too loud in case I was resting. 

I had been sleeping a lot during this pregnancy. The physical aspect of carrying our second born is much harder than carrying our first, and I was barely pregnant. I forced my eyes open in the dim room, wanting to lay my sight on the male that had captured my heart entirely no matter how tired I was. 

Azriel smiled softly when his gaze met mine and he quickly and quietly put his coat away before sliding under the massive amount of blankets I was buried under. “Hi.” I murmured my voice raspy from sleep as Azriel adjusted us so that I was halfway laying on his chest, one of my legs thrown around his and the slight baby bump barely poking him in the stomach. His hand's immediately finding my belly and resting there.

“Hi.” He whispered back and I immediately tilted my head to look up at him at the slight shift in his voice.

“What’s wrong?” I asked, concern layering my tone. 

Azriel just huffed a sad laugh under his breath as he gave me a rare smile. He tucked a piece of hair behind my ear and pressed a kiss to my forehead. “My observant little mate, you know me so well. Did I wake you?”

“No you didn’t. Azriel, tell me what’s wrong?” I panicked pushing myself up further so I could look at him properly. Something was…off about him. From the exhausted way he carried himself to bed, the way he had tugged me impossibly close and breathed me in as if it was his last time. 

I knew he had spent the whole day with our daughter before dropping her off at my sister’s for a sleepover so I could have a peaceful night but the way he was acting- especially after the hurt I’d felt from him early in the day only to have him shut me out-

“Nothing’s wrong my love, everyone’s safe and ok.” Azriel assured me, repeating the words over and over again until my breathing evened and he placed a comforting kiss on the inside of my wrist before holding my hands close to his chest and pushing me to lay back down all cozied up next to him. These hormones were going to kill me.

“Ayanna and I ran into my family this evening.” Azriel started and my chest cracked open. No wonder he was so sad. Azriel loved and cared about his family deeply but ever since we’d met he’d taken extra care to make sure I stayed hidden from his family.

Rhysand had used Azriel’s own loyalty and respect towards him to make him leave the middle Acheron sister alone and it had completely broken him. It had only cemented the self doubt running rampant through his mind. Adding another layer to his hardened and yet sensitive heart. 

It had shattered the new couple before it even started and Azriel had vowed to keep his High Lord’s orders to himself despite the devastation it caused to himself and Elain. Elain was almost as good as my mate in hiding her emotions but not nearly enough and Azriel had cursed himself even further. Because in his mind he was the monster that had crushed the innocent girl in his brutally bloody hands. 

I had worked a lot with Azriel over his insecurities and self doubt. The male had barely even touched me when we first met, terrified he would scar another beautiful thing but I had coaxed him out of his shell and his family was something I could never really talk to him about, he shut down and went to a dark space that took days to get him out of. 

In reality Azriel was terrified you’d be taken away from him, ordered halfway across the continent, just one day waking up and you and your beautiful daughter would just be gone? And there was a chance it could’ve been Rhysand’s fault? Or his own?

He loved his family, he loved his brother’s with every fiber of his being. But in the end his terror won, old wounds speaking louder than logic because he couldn’t handle it if there was even the slightest possibility Rhysand made the only good thing disappear from his life, because Gods he wouldn’t survive it and the world around him would shatter under his wrath. 

I traced my fingertips underneath Azriel’s shirt, trailing soothing touches down those muscled abs until he came back to me. Clearly stuck in his own head. “How’d it go?” I asked. 

“Horrible.” His voice cracked and my heart ached at the sound, mating bond screaming at me to do something other than just snuggle in bed. But I knew Azriel just as well as he knew me, instead of pressing him for more information I placed a gentle kiss on the juncture of his throat as he stared at the ceiling. He’d talk when he was ready.

A few minutes passed by until I heard the pain in his deep voice echo around the room again. “They were…angry. At me once they figured out Ayanna was my daughter. They were hurt and asking me why I didn’t tell them-” He paused, swallowing. “The look on Cassian and Rhysand’s faces-” 

A few tears rolled down his cheek. The only other time I’ve seen the Shadowsinger cry was at our mating ceremony and the birth of our daughter. I brushed them away with the pads of my thumbs as he continued. 

“I just couldn’t take it anymore. The betrayal on every single one of their faces. Ayanna was just confused of course, tugging on my shirt and hiding away. The shadows hid her from view and it only worsened the situation. Cassian accused me of not trusting him. I just felt so…ambushed so I let down my shields and threw everything I’d been feeling at Rhysand and Feyre.”

“I didn’t even stick around to hear the aftermath. Just went to the park for a few hours with Aya to cool down.”

“Nesta found you?” I presumed. The Lady of Death having grown quite close to my mate in the House of Wind. He nodded, continuing the rest of the story. Apparently Feyre had shared the information with the family and had promptly yelled at her mate for a few hours. 

They’d all been hurt and angry at Azriel, at each other, and at Rhysand. Cassian and Mor having been the most bent out of shape, stinging even worse with how close they were.

I offered to talk more about it even as my eyelids were unwillingly drooping lower and lower. He just chuckled, wrapping his arms around me and giving me a strong kiss before he ushered me back to sleep once again. 

——————————————

A soft knock echoed throughout the house and I left the tea table,, leaving Azriel to enjoy the outrageously sweet tea my daughter had made, she obviously got her sweet tooth from him. 

“I’m assuming your Cassian and Mor.” I said by way of greeting as soon as I pulled the heavy oak door open. I knew the Inner Circle would come crawling out of the cracks after a few days and it warmed my heart to see and meet some of Azriel’s closest friends. 

“And you’re my brother’s mate.” Cassian breathed out, Mor still finding her words next to him. “The one and only.” I joked with a small hand flourish that did nothing to defuse the tense air suffocating us. Grief etched into the fae’s very faces. “Can we come in?” Morrigan asked clearing her throat. 

“Are you here to fight with him?” I questioned in return. A wince crossed over Cassian’s pained face. “Gods no, we just- we want to talk.”

I smiled softly, it was time for my mate to reunite with his family, to fully be present with them and stop hiding behind his indifferent facade. “He’s playing with Aya in the kitchen.” 

Cassian practically rushed inside as soon as I opened the door wider, the male wearing his heart on his sleeve and I could see how much this entire ordeal affected him. Mor stepped in the threshold with more caution, taking a deep breath as she faced me.

“Rhysand and Feyre would’ve come you know but-”

“But if you bombard Azriel then he’ll shut down and pull away?” she chuckled half-heartedly, sparing a longing glance in the direction Cassian had gone. “Sounds like Az.”

“He didn’t want this to happen, none of us did.” She whispered softly. I knew she was talking about the High Lord and I nodded in understanding even though Rhysand and I would definitely be hashing it out later. “I know.”

Mor took a steadying breath and walked by, allowing me to finally shut the front door. Before she rounded the kitchen she turned to me once again. Pulling a brand new plush teddy bear out of whatever pocket realm she kept it in. “For Ayanna. Whenever you and Azriel are ready for us to meet her.” 

I smiled, taking the gift and following the blonde into the kitchen, I knew without words that Azriel didn’t want to properly introduce our daughter until everything was resolved with his family despite the accidental meeting yesterday and I gave the fae’s their space. He’d already sent the three year old upstairs and I gave Azriel a quick kiss on the cheek before making my way up there as well. 

[fiftyfiftyfinchy]

okay I have a specific request — Ethan’s sister dating george???? I just feel like ethan would be a really fun but protective brother.

I'm sorry this took me so long to put together, my job has me in a chokehold this week! anyway I hope you like it :))

I’m not sure if I’m here for the free craft services or for the existential bliss of standing next to George Clarke. My brother—Ethan, Behzinga to the world—thinks I’m just bored. He thinks I’m tagging along for some wholesome family bonding or maybe to post behind-the-scenes TikToks featuring him and his goofy friends. He has no clue that what I really want is to watch George from every possible angle until I can’t breathe.  George and I are used to this—little side glances, inside jokes, a teasing tap on the shoulder that feels dangerously electric. Nothing official, but enough to make my chest tighten in anticipation every time we land on the same shoot.

I claim a spot near the plastic folding chairs—flimsy thrones for YouTube royalty—and pretend I’m not devouring George with my eyes. I sip water I don’t need just to have something to do with my mouth. At any moment, I’m convinced I might say something desperate, like “Can I live inside your ribcage?” which is not generally acceptable small talk. But the heat in my spine is so intense that my entire body is basically a tuning fork for desire.

George glances in my direction and a hush slides over me like a weird spiritual wave, but then I remind myself: girl, you are on a set full of cameras. You can't be caught thirsting over one of your brother's best mates. Everyone here sees everything. Except Ethan, who’s too busy ignoring me for the sake of “content” to notice the entire soap opera I’m staging in my head. Thank God for that.

Eventually, the filming starts—some big wheel of dares. It’s silly. It’s comedic gold. I laugh at appropriate intervals, feeling the headache of a forced grin. My face is so stuck in performative cheer that I worry I’ll never be able to frown again. But every so often, George’s eyes drift my way. Then it doesn’t feel forced at all; it feels like someone just pressed an espresso shot of lust into my bloodstream.

I imagine the corners of my mouth still have hints of a smirk when Ethan glances over, eyes full of big-brother protectiveness. Great. His “friendly, easygoing vibe” is over. I can’t help but roll my eyes in a cosmic sense of sibling dread. Because Ethan is the barrier between me and the arms I want to fling myself into. He’s the moat around the castle. He’s the guard dog who barks at everything.

The video ends. Confetti of half-laughter, half-exhaustion litters the air. I hover near the edge of the set, my phone clenched in a death grip. Across the room, George sets down a water bottle. I decide I need to do something dramatic, or I’ll spontaneously combust.

I walk over casually—at least I hope it looks casual, like I’m in total control of my heartbeat. “You did great,” I say, trying to sound breezy instead of delirious. George smiles his classic, impossibly warm smile.

“Fancy seeing you here,” George says, stepping to me with that crooked grin. There's something boyish in the way he leans in, like we share a secret the rest of the room couldn’t possibly understand.

“Right?” I laugh, a little breathless. “Almost like we planned it.” We’ve run this dance so many times, bantering on set, one-upping each other with witty remarks, smiling in ways that promise everything and nothing. But it still feels new—a micro-thrill every time he tosses me that look.

He brushes an imaginary speck of dust off my sleeve, an excuse to close the gap between us. “Oh, I definitely planned it,” he teases, voice low.

Then I hear Ethan’s voice: “Oi! What’s going on over here?” My brother, a sentinel, standing with arms crossed like his biceps can ward off romance. 

“Nothing,” I say. “Just being friendly to your guest, Ethan.” I infuse his name with a sweet venom. 

Ethan narrows his eyes but doesn’t push it. He stalks away—still suspicious— probably to the snack table where the rest of the guys are rehashing the best jokes of the shoot. 

George leans in, breath brushing the shell of my ear. “Text me when you’re free, yeah?”

My chest throbs with that old, familiar longing. “I will,” I whisper, feeling the ghost of his presence on my skin long after he’s stepped back. We share this conspiratorial nod, like two secret agents swapping contraband info.

He steps away and salutes me in a mockingly polite way, turning to follow Ethan and the guys. And I’m left there, fidgeting like some starry-eyed fool, full of swirling fantasies about how our next off-camera rendezvous might go. Maybe it’s crazy to think we can keep up this flirtation without someone catching on—especially my brother—but for now, it’s perfect: the hush of a secret too sweet to keep bottled up forever.

[lostinlads]

Doctor's Orders

Synopsis:After a checkup with your favorite doctor regarding your heart and aether core, you invite him out clubbing with you and some friends.

Tags: zayne x femme!reader, MDNI IF YOU ARE A MINOR YOU WILL BE BLOCKED, angst, doctor!zayne, tara being the girlboss best friend she is, xavier mention, mc has trouble with her grief, zayne joking around a little!, mentions of alcohol, caleb and your grandmother mentioned

Words: 1.9k

an: howdyyy! so this first chapter is pretty short i know, but im just mainly setting it up for chapter two because things are going to go pretty fast within the next few chapters so i needed a grounding point! but!!! i hope you enjoy! this fic follows the story of the game a little closer than the others so caleb and your grandmother are going to be mentioned a bit in here! enjoyyyyy!

ao3 | Chapter List | kofi

You hiss between your teeth as the cold stethoscope touches your bare skin, eyes screwing shut. Zayne's large hand comes to rest on your shoulder, thumb rubbing soothing circles.

"I know," His voice so soft you almost didn't hear. "I'm sorry it is so cold." You peek an eye open, his hazel ones already staring into yours as you relax. 

He listened to your beating heart, counting the seconds with your irregular rhythm. You watch as his cool eyes trail down from your eyes down to your chest, you know he's looking at where his ears are listening but your cheeks flush anyway at the thought of the possibility of his eyes drinking in your exposed flesh. 

After countless appointments with him you couldn't help but feel the giddy, almost childlike feeling when he is this close to you. Within arm's reach, eyes stone as he works. The immature crush you have on your doctor was already bad in your eyes, but the fact he was also your childhood friend only made the situation worse for you. Heart speeding, hands clammy, shallow breaths with every brush of his icy hands. You couldn't help but imagine them running over your body, down your shoulder, around your waist.

"Your heart is beating faster," Zayne snaps you from your daydream. "Are you nervous?" You meet his eyes again, a crease forming between his brows.

"Sorry, just thinking about work!" The lie slips from your lips before you could think of anything else to say. A small quirk to the corner of his mouth, such a small movement you would have missed it if you weren't paying attention.

"You're a horrible liar, you know that?" Amusement flooding his tone, lifting the weight of the room. The small chuckle that leaves your lips bubbling out as he pulls the stethoscope from his ears. 

"I'm not that bad," You try to reason. "And besides, it has been pretty stressful today. Tara and I have to be out early in the morning for a meeting, then back to fighting wanderers." You mope, hands coming up to button your shirt. Zayne's eyes watching your hands eagerly as they move to cover your cleavage.

"You have been taking your medications, correct? You have been having a rough time these past few months and you shouldn't stress your heart any more than you already have." Leaning back onto the chair, you nod. That wasn't exactly a lie either, you really have been taking them - most days at least. Some days a thick, blinding fog takes over your mind and you end up forgetting almost every basic task that should come easy to you. You don't tell Zayne this though, knowing he would say it's a trauma response to the tragedy you have faced, and that maybe you should see a therapist. He's said it before, many times in fact. Sick of hearing him try to push you from your work, the only thing taking your mind off of Caleb and your grandmother, you shut up, put on a happy face and convince everyone around you that you're better - happy even. 

"I have. And staying away from stressors if I can and eating healthy." You don't mention the sleep, that lie wouldn't be able to be spoken. You know he can see the dark circles under your makeup, tracking the yawns falling from your lips. Every time you close your eyes you could hear the explosion, watch as the house engulfs in flames before your eyes as you stand there so helplessly. The nightmares drink you in, never letting you rest. Waking up in a cold sweat, heart racing as you gasp for air. 

"Mm," He hums, satisfied. You played your cards right today, going through the rehearsed moments you have been reminding yourself on the ride here. "Finally, you have taken it upon yourself to listen to your doctor." He turns his back to you, placing his glasses down on his desk as he fills out your file. "I have to say I'm proud."

"It's hard not to listen when my doctor reminds me every time we hang out that I should be taking my meds, and that I should eat healthier, and everything else - even when he's taking me for ice cream." You tease back, a smirk plastered on your face as you cross your arms over your chest. 

"He sounds like a very concerned friend, maybe you should listen to him more often," A smile can be heard in his words regardless of if you can see his face or not. 

"Sounds like he's paranoid to me," You jab back, biting your lip as you try to fight back a laugh. He turns around, a brow quirked in the air. That breaks you, a laugh slipping past your lips as your shoulders shake.

"Sounds like someone likes to misbehave, no wonder he is paranoid as you say," Zayne walks over to you, placing a hand to your back to signal the dreaded appointment is over - finally. You could feel his cool touch through your shirt, spreading over your skin as goosebumps rise on your arms, breath hitching just slightly. He walks you to the door, opening it for you as you slip through to the waiting room, him following close behind. Tara comes into view, face buried in her phone as she types away. 

"I'm finished!" You chirp, her head snapping up as a show stopping Tara smile spreads on her features. 

"Oh my God, good because Xavier just texted that he's coming too. I'm trying to convince Simone, but she said she might have to cat sit that day, ugh!" She groans, throwing her head back dramatically.

"Where are you going?" Zayne asks from beside you, eyes flicking between you and Tara. 

"Oh, we are planning on going out to Solstice on Saturday," A nightclub your friends at work have agreed to go, celebrating a job well done with all of the stressful shifts this month. You agree that it's what you need, loud music, flowing drinks, and friends that you can dance the night away with. Ease the tensions in your bones and maybe, just maybe, help lull you to sleep long enough you don't feel like a corpse in the morning. Tara perks up, almost jumping out of her seat to stand.

"Zayne! You should come with us!" A twitch of panic in your stomach as you slowly turn to Zayne, watching his face as he stands still for a pause. You can almost see the cogs in his brilliant brain move as he calculates why the hell your friend he hardly knows is inviting him out with your work friends.

"I'm not sure-" He starts but your mouth babbles out words before you could stop it.

"I mean I know you have been stressed and swamped with work, maybe going out for a drink or two would help..." You almost sound desperate as you try to convince him to come out, embarrassing yourself. "If you aren't working, I mean..." Words mumbling out as your cheeks burn so hot it hurts.

"I mean you two are friends and have hung out so it wouldn't be weird or anything, and we already had Nero decline to come. We reserved a booth for eight people so it would be a waste to let it go," She swoops in and saves you effortlessly, looking back down at her phone as it dings. 

You watch Zayne as he turns to you, eyes fluttering over your flushed face as you nibble on your lip. He's thinking, as always. You silently plead with him, eyes widening and brows pulling together softly. It's been a long time since you two have hung out, far too long for your liking. Shifts never meeting up to have a day off together, and you missed him. Regardless of your stupid little crush, you longed for his company. So different from everyone else you hung out with, Zayne was slow, calming, you always felt relaxed and at ease with him. Anxiety washing away from your chest as you two go out to eat, or go to the library, something so mundane, so normal but also something you needed. 

"Just one drink," You whisper just quiet enough for only him to hear. "If you're off you deserve to treat yourself Doctor Zayne." His eyes soften, to anyone else they wouldn't have noticed but you do. A glimpse of him when he's alone with you shows for a fleeting moment before he returns back to his professional facade. 

"I'll give it some thought," He announces loud, Tara pipping her head back up with a smile. 

"Yes!" She shouts in the quiet waiting room, fist punching in the air above her head. "If not it's totally fine though we won't hold a grudge or anything." She quips, picking up her bag from the chair and tosses it on her shoulder. You walk towards her, her hands fisting in her pockets to pull out her car keys.

"Thank you, Doctor Zayne," You shoot him a sweet smile, cheeks still so rosy. He nods towards you, a ghost of a smile blessing his oh so beautiful lips. Zayne watches the pair of you leave, hands shoved deep in his coat.

Tara and you make your way to her car, her babbling about this weekend in detail about who all is coming and what time to meet. She makes up for your loss of words, filling in every space you can't bear to say right now. You're grateful for that, she knows all too well how hard life has been to you, staying up late on the phone as you can't fall asleep, helping you do some reckless activities just to get out of bed, and when you can't be bothered to leave your room - coming over with takeout as you two watch shitty reality tv in your bedroom. She was someone you held so dearly to your heart and knew what you wanted without you saying so. 

"Do you think Zayne is going to say yes? I mean I hardly see him leave his office unless he's with you." She questions. You shrug, it's hard to say since clubbing was far from the short list of activates you and Zayne stick to. And thinking back now, you don't ever remember seeing Zayne drink - who knew if he even does?

"I don't know, maybe he will. I mean he's been working double shifts almost every day this week so he might be too exhausted to even come out." You hope she doesn't note the twinge of disappointment in your tone, but you know she does.

"I hope he does, it would be fun to see him let loose for once!" She giggles, pulling into the parking lot of your apartment complex. 

You shoot her a goodbye, hugging her quick before leaving the car and walking towards the door as the warm summer rays wash over your skin. You drink in the subtle moment, enjoying the last few days of warmer weather before the chill starts. Not that you minded, but the cold air nipping at your skin only reminded you of icy hands that you craved on your body. you shake your head, making your way inside the elevator as your phone pings, confusing you because Tara wouldn't be able to get to her home so fast. You pull it out of your pocket, maybe it's Xavier questioning what to wear or maybe he wants to grab hotpot with you later. You swipe the screen open, tapping to your text messages and the name that appears surprises you.

Zayne: I'll be there.

[cravinganotherworld]

Amorous Chapter 7 - Frontman x Fem! reader

WARNINGS: Slight smut implication, guns, mention of potential suicide, sadness and heartbreak.

Wordcount: 1.1k

NOTES: Hii, i'm so sorry this has taken so long to upload i've just started back at university after the holidays but i hope uploads will become regular again now I've settled back in. Also the next chapter will be the final chapter!

See the other chapters here:

Chapter 1, Chapter 2, Part 1, Chapter 2, part 2, Chapter 3, Chapter 4, Chapter 5, Chapter 6

TAGS: @tinylawyerbluebird

Love never really was a constant in In-ho’s life, everyone he loved disappeared and with them they took his heart. Starting the games seemed to be the only stability in his life, the only thing that gave him the slightest sliver of joy, and now it had been jeopardized. Player 456 was never meant to return, he should’ve gotten on the plane like In-Ho ordered. Instead, he sits beside him completely unaware that the man he is after helps calculate his every move. At first his only thought and intention was to eliminate player 456, to decipher his plans and put an end to them…that was until he saw you. You with the perfect hair, perfect hips and eyes that shone brighter than the sun. Then he knew, he had a new purpose. Protect you. At first he refused to believe how easily you had wormed your way in, how easily you had captured his heart and melted the ice. Yet day by day he found his resolve break and he found himself falling so far and so hard he couldn’t prepare for it. You allowed him to feel things he hadn’t felt in so long and deep down he thanked you for that, but he knew…he knew that you would leave as well, one way or another you would be gone and it hurt his heart every time he thought about it.

Behind him In-ho heard the scuffle of feet, and beside him a pink guard stood.

“What do we do with player 456 sir?”

“Take him back to the dormitory” The guard nods and walks past you.

In-ho never broke eye contact with you, watching the tears fall, the tears that he had caused…the tears that he couldn’t stop.

“He’s alive…?” you whisper, jolting something in In-Ho. Jealously? He said nothing and pressed his gun deeper into your forehead causing you to wince at the pain.

“Just do it In-ho…” the way you whisper his name erupts butterflies in his stomach “please” hearing you beg was something he had only dreamed of, something he had only seen in his dreams when you’re squirming beneath him in desperation, or on your knees in front of him watching you struggle for breath as he chases his release.

“No…” he whispers in return. He lowers his gun and lifts you up roughly by your arm. As you are dragged to your feet you look at him in confusion, he could see the question in your eyes. Why? Why wasn’t he going to kill you? Looking around you see that the mass of pink guards no longer lines the hallway leaving just you and In-Ho alone. Your heart begins to race as you quickly assess your surroundings for an escape route. Unbeknownst to you In-Ho watches your every move. He notices which directions your eyes shoot to calculating your every move, just admiring you. Suddenly your eyes flick over to his and he regains his composure in just enough time to see you lift your other arm in an attempt to grab his gun from his hands. You manage to nudge the handle knocking it onto the floor but before you could reach down to grab it In-Ho grabs your arm twisting it behind your back and pushes you forcefully onto the wall, your face now pressed against it. You let out a yell of frustration causing a deep chuckle to erupt from In-Ho. You feel his breath on your ear as he reaches down to you.

“Are you done with your tantrum now Babygirl?” he whispers. You struggle against his grip wanting nothing more than to knock him out, but the other part of you wanted to run your hands through his hair, to bite his lip and to scream his name so the entire place knew who you belong to.

“Stop. Struggling” the strictness in his tone makes you freeze as a shiver runs own your spine. “Good…now I will let your arm go but you have to promise you won’t run and you won’t try to shoot me” you nod slowly, and he release your arm. You slowly turn to look at him and you suddenly realise how close he is. It takes all of your willpower to not wrap your hands around his neck and hug him, all you do is look up at him with the same betrayal in your eyes still lingering for him to see.

“did you enjoy seeing me break in-ho…did you enjoy tearing down my walls just to destroy me where it matters most….?” You question through teary eyes. He sighs

“I never wanted you to find out this way”

“So what? You were just going to keep it hidden? Keep me in the dark? You were going to let me stay behind knowing you were going to kill all of my friends…you were going to make me think I lost you?” you spit out in anger harshly pushing on his chest to create distance between you. In-Ho looks up at you in shock, he can feel his heart slowly crumbling and he now realises that this is all by his own doing.

“I…I” he struggles to answer, you scoff and roll your eyes

“Save it In-ho” He watches with wide eyes as you pick up a stray pistol lying on the floor slightly hidden beneath the arm of a fallen guard. You take off the safety and point the gun at In-Ho.

“Y/n…”

“Don’t! you don’t get to say my name…you were going to kill me In-Ho and for what? So that your precious games didn’t end?” You speak, your words feeling like poison to him, and for the first time you see tears escape his eyes. You lose composure for a second and lower your gun slightly, your heart aching at the sight of In-ho crying but then you remember all the innocent lives that had been taken because of him. Once again you point the gun at him, he lifts his hands up in surrender, but you don’t lower your gun. Moments pass and yet In-Ho still stood still, looking into your eyes silently pleading for you to lower the gun. In your mind and in your heart, you know that you don’t want to kill him, you know your heart couldn’t take losing him, but you want him to feel the pain he has caused so many others. Suddenly an idea comes into your head, and you lower the gun, sending him a small smile through the tears. He sighs in relief and takes a step towards you, freezing when you lift the gun up again,  this time place it against your temple.  His eyes harden and his breath hitches.

“Y/n No!”

[riptides-n-roses]

Maybe a fluff one shot idea (sorry if it’s stupid) but Roman and the reader are dating, reader was previously got out of a relationship so she has trust issues. Roman is just very gentle with her heart and is constantly reassuring her.

Omg this idea is so precious! Absolutely <3 just a very loving roman warms my heart

patient - roman reigns

⛧ pair: roman reigns x reader

⛧ tags: @88changemymind @reigns-prophecy @cyberdejos2 (huge thank you to anon)

⛧ warnings: slight angst (flashback from ex-bf), cheating, a very compassionate roman

⛧ this one is a little tricky since I've never written angst like this before so i hope it's okay for a first time kind of thing; also! huge thank you to everyone for showing their support on my works it truly means a lot - i have 0 clue if this will be short or not but I hope you have fun with this one!

⛧ after your previous relationship, you found roman as your current partner, but you're having a hard time trusting him.

⛧ word count: 1K

Flashback...

You were coming home to greet your boyfriend, Liam. You thought everything was going great for the two of you. You both had good jobs, always made each other laugh, matching outfits, etc. It was like no one could rip you away from each other...

or so you thought...

The door to your open was surprisingly unlocked as you attempted to use your keys to get in. You were confused as you stepped in, wondering why your boyfriend would just leave the door opened like that. What you found next made you freeze

There was a pair of underwear that didn't belong to you, Victoria's Secret, lace trimmed, dark red and dark red heels. They weren't yours either.

He couldn't have...he wouldn't have...

Did he...?

Your mind was filling with thoughts you couldn't shake off as you slowly reached the closed door of your bedroom. Afraid to open it, you gently pressed your ear against it, the sounds of faint giggling and moaning violating your ears.

You immediately opened the door to Liam in bed with another woman, the two of them naked in your shared bed together - the both of them staring back at you in horror. You dropped everything and froze in pure shock.

"B-Babe...I can exp-" He started, pushing the woman aside.

"Save it." You interrupted, tears overflowing in your eyes. "Just pack up everything you own here and get out of my house. It's over."

Liam froze up, his head down like a dog as him and her quickly put their clothes back on...

"Um sweetie, are my heels still in there?" She tried to smugly ask you only for you to stare her coldly in the face.

"I-I...I apologize!" She quickly laughed, scared of what you would say to her. As you stared to the floor as you watched Liam packing up all of his belongings, your tears dropped to the floor. You couldn't believe after all of those years he would do something like that to you.

When Liam left along with the other girl, You calmly sat down on your couch, immediately bawling in your hands.

You experienced your first heartbreak...

.•°☆.⋆｡⋆☆•˚｡⋆｡˚•☆˚｡⋆.☆•°.⋆

You met your partner Roman on a random night, he couldn't keep his dark eyes off of you. You were just going to buy new bedding since you threw your old ones in the trash - you refused to sleep in the same bedding as your ex cheated on you with.

As you were in line to purchase, you noticed a man, Samoan with a tribal tattoo sleeve on his right arm, approaching you. You were stunned how handsome he looked.

"Excuse me..." the man started "I couldn't help but notice how beautiful you looked. I hope that isn't weird to say."

You smiled, haven't heard a compliment like that in a long time.

"Thank you...I could say the same thing about you."

The man laughed, never receiving a compliment like that before.

"My name's Roman. What's yours?"

"I'm Y/N...it's really nice to meet you."

"Y/N...that's a pretty name. I was wondering if you'd like to go out sometime. It's totally fine if not"

"I'd like that actually. Here's my number"

The both of you exchanged numbers, never leaving eye contact. It was a love in first sight kind of deal and you were happy it was with Roman.

.•°☆.⋆｡⋆☆•˚｡⋆｡˚•☆˚｡⋆.☆•°.⋆

End of flashback

You and Roman officially started dating after months of successful dates. It was some of the happiest days you experienced in your life. But, you still had a few slight thoughts regarding the last time you started a relationship like this.

What if this was a joke? What if you were going to have the same thing happen to you again...

Does he really love you?

You froze up, as you and Roman were getting ready for your second anniversary date. You looked at yourself in the mirror, your dress shimmering against the light in your room, your makeup and hair all done up and your jewelery glowing. You have second thoughts. You loved Roman dearly and he made you the happiest girl in the world. But why couldn't you get the negative thoughts out of your head?

You felt a pair of arms gently pulling you back, you could feel Roman's presence as he hugged you tightly.

"You're so beautiful, Y/N..." he started, "It's been two years since I met you. And it was the best decision I made."

You smiled, seeing your reflection in the mirror as you watched Roman hug you warmly. You felt safe in his arms, he always made sure you were loved.

"I know you're still hurt from your previous relationship...I know how hurt you were."

"Yeah...I just never understood why I wasn't good enough for him. I thought we were perfect but I guess it wasn't."

"He was foolish for treating you so wrong..." You felt his arms let go of you as you turned around to face him. Your eyes widened as you looked up at your partner, dressed up formally. He looked so ethereal as he smiled at you.

"What's wrong, babygirl? Like what you see?" He laughed.

"I just...how'd I get so lucky? You make me feel like I'm on cloud nine."

Roman smiled, gently holding your hands.

"I ask myself that everyday. The way you smile, laugh, and your hobbies. Everything about you makes me wonder how'd I get lucky."

You both laughed, you realized he truly loved you for you. You knew he wouldn't do anything to hurt you. He always kept his word - ever since the two of you got together, he'd always kept his eyes on you.

"God you're breathtaking baby. You're making me forget that we have a reservation."

You laughed as he went in to give you a kiss, pulling you in towards his body as he hugged you warmly, exactly like the first time when you both made it official.

"I love you so much, Y/N. I'm so lucky to have you."

[sashimi020]

almost yours p5 *ੈ✩‧₊˚ [mitsuya x reader]

credits to @i-mmaculatus for the dividers! tags: @dollrndo

p1 | p2 | p3 | p4

last part!! thank you all for reading!! i'm so grateful for all your kind comments. i hope this last chapter will bring a satisfying closure! i must admit it was slightly rushed, i'm a bit sleepy so there may be errors (forgive me😭) i hope you all enjoy it regardless

reblogs likes comments and feedback appreciated!!<333

it was the big day: new years festival. you’d neatly packaged mitsuya's gifts and placed it in a cute gift bag and also added your heartfelt confession letter, struggling to pick a nice outfit you outsourced help from baji and kazutora who came over the afternoon of to help you pick. 

“this okay?” “err.. nah. too formal” “mm.. how about this?” “ooh maybe.. pair it with this?” the three of you discussed for a while. you thought they were being suspiciously helpful. after a certain point in the conversation, baji interjected “don’t wear two layers” “huh? why not? it might be cold..” “just trust me” you pouted. maybe you did look better if you lost the second layer of clothing.

for the next few hours, the three of you just chilled, playing some video games and lazing around at your house until it was time for the all of you to meet up with everyone else. for some reason the two of them were being extra giggly today. you perceived it to be slightly out of character for them. you picked up on them stealing glances as if they had some inside joke you didn’t know about.

you just brushed it off as them being excited for going out. the hours passed by quickly. reaching the entrance of the festival you all slow down and look for the rest of your friends. kazutora groans at his phone screen “they’re gonna be late again!” “seriously?” you sigh. “apparently it’s because mikey’s taking too long to get ready” “who’s coming with mikey again?” you ask, “draken, mitsuya, mikey and emma are all coming together i think” “oh alright” 

your face lights up ever so slightly at the mention of mitsuya. you were eager to give him your gift and confession letter, but you were equally apprehensive. though you were pretty hopeful for him liking you back due to kazutora and baji’s constant reassurance. you would actually kill them and then die out of embarrassment if he rejected you. you quickly push the possibility of rejection aside. 

wait.. what if he actually rejected you? your expression dulls at the thought. a pit forms in your stomach. it would ruin the entire mood of the festival. would things get awkward? .. oh.. oh now you’re really worrying. maybe it’s just nervousness and anxiety doing the rounds but you can’t deny that you felt suddenly apprehensive about the confession. while baji and kazutora were occupied by some food stall, you quickly stuff the confession letter away just leaving the gifts in the gift bag. you didn’t want to take this risk. 

you wandered a bit further away from kazutora and baji and felt someone tap on your shoulder. “hey pretty, say, you come here with anyone?” some random guy approached you? how were you supposed to react?? “uh.. uh- i’m-“ “no need to be so nervous” he chuckles. kazutora and baji, thankfully, almost immediately notice the interaction after they got their food. he puts his hand on your shoulder and you visibly become uncomfortable, “um. i appreciate it but…“ you feel someone grab your hand. kazutora?! baji? they glare at the guy and he immediately seems to back off. “jeez. sorry, didn’t know er..” the guys starts but kazutora tugs you away. 

you sigh heavily. “you didn’t have to be so rude” baji frowned “nah. no one’s stealing mitsu’s girl” your face flushes completely. “plus that guy put his hand on your shoulder, who does that to someone they’ve never met?!” “yeah i guess you’re right..” your voice cracks from you feeling so flustered. “mitsuya’s girl? really??” “yeah” they both responded in unison. 

“HII GUYS!” mikey yells loudly. everyone exchanges greetings and you meet mitsuya’s gaze. “hii..” “hey” he smiles gleefully. all of you browse the stalls and pass time until the fireworks. mikey, predictably, instantly gravitated towards the taiyaki stand. by some new years miracle he had brought his own money to pay for the sweets. maybe he decided to be a little merciful on ken-chin’s wallet for the occasion. draken on the other hand bashfully held emma’s hand and the adorable couple spent much needed time together. kazutora and baji disappeared somewhere to do god knows what. you were left alone with mitsuya. the both of you walk alongside each other, hands brushing against each other as you walk. 

after a certain point he just takes your hand in his and glances away, his composure completely gone. you smile to yourself but he catches it. his heart speeds up. your eyes scan the stalls in a desperate attempt to regain your own composure after the heart warming gesture. your eyes land on an extremely adorable cat plushie. “awh! that’s so cute” you couldn’t help but blurt out. “you want that?” “ah.. no i’m not good at winning these games.. my hand eye coordination is really bad.” “i could win it for you” he says softly. “or well, i could try..” he smiles widely and before you could argue he asks the vendor to set up the game.

it was fairly simple balloon game, pop 5 balloons in a row and you win the plushie! almost immediately you heard “pop!”“pop!”“pop!”“pop!”“pop!” no hesitation, full precision. and suddenly, you had a cat plush in your arms and an incredibly cute smile on your crush’s face. “thank you! oh- you really didn’t have to..” “you’re so cute when you’re happy” he cuts you off. you go dead silent as you feel like you need to reboot your brain. oh. my. god. 

a short time passes and you all regroup, mikey thoroughly enjoying his fifth taiyaki while draken was chiding him telling him that he was definitely going to fall sick after this. kazutora and baji also reunited with the rest of them, turns out they spent their time playing some dart game at a stall to try and win prizes but inevitably lost. “you won that cat?” baji asks curiously, “it’s super cute” “oh! ah. mitsuya won it for me” you giggle softly. they all share a knowing glance. both of your faces flush but no one brings it up. 

“i think the fireworks will start soon!” mikey points out, “we should find a nice spot quickly before all the good ones get taken” draken responds and you all quickly make it to a nice viewing point. the wind blows through your hair gently and the buzz of the people and stalls died down as you all found a rather secluded and slightly more peaceful spot. “can i borrow you for a bit?” mitsuya asks quickly, his tone soft. “o..of course, yeah” your grip on the gift bag tightens. you should give it to him now. 

his hand leads you only a little far away from everyone else and he takes the bag that he brought. “so.. um.. i made something for you” your brain stops almost immediately. wait. wait. wait. WHAT. He made something for you?! this was supposed to be you giving him a gift, should you interrupt him? should you give it right now? “w-wait!” you cut him off, “ah?” “i.. have something for you too” you hold up the bag. “o- oh.” the sparkly in his eyes gleams brighter and his grin widens. “w-we’ll exchange then?” “y-yeah, yeah-“ you both swap bags and inhale shakily as you peer into the gift mitsuya gave you. 

your jaw drops. you pull out the jacket with shaky, nervous hands. “this.. wait- how-?” questions flooded your mind. it looks exactly like the jacket you saw at the mall but it looks different, “look.. look uh. in the inside.” you open the jacket to see your initials sewed in at the bottom on the inside of the jacket. you stare back at him with the most dazed, loving expression. “you..” “yeah.. i .. made it..” “wait.. how did you- .. how did you find out i.. wanted a jacket like this though?” “draken told me you mentioned it?” “uh.. ah” oh kazutora you sly dog. you suddenly piece everything together, why baji told you not to wear two layers. so you could wear this now. you instantly shrug it on and feel absolutely elated. “o-open mine” “i.. didn’t know you were getting me one” you smile sheepishly. 

his face blossoms with pleasant surprise, “oh! a pincushion?! i’ve wanted this for a while but never got around to getting it.. how did you know? oh- wait.. are these?..” “matching.. yeah.. uh. you can pick which one you like, i’ll take the other” “i’m.. never gonna take this off” you start feeling lightheaded at his sweet sweet words. “a-ah.” he takes your wrist and slides on the bracelet gently and then puts on his. his lips tug into a serene smile and he adjusts the collar of the jacket. “there.. you look really good in it.” 

he glances away for a second, “there’s something.. i should tell you,” he takes his hands off from your jacket and stares at the ground, “i’ve uh. i realised a few months ago that i started.. to .. have feelings for you. i know this is really late and it might not be the best or most coordinated or put together confession ever but i .. really needed to get it out there. i.. really hope you feel the same way” your jaw is on the floor. heart is beating at a rate that would put you in a hospital. “y-you have no idea how long i’ve felt the same way” you manage to choke out without stumbling over your words. suddenly you glance at the sky. 

“the fireworks are almost starting..” “w..wait..” mitsuya slides his palm on your cheek and tilts your head towards his in a very gentle manner, almost offering you leeway to back out if you want to. but you don’t this is everything you could ever want and more. you think you could die happy right now. suddenly he leans closer, “can i?..” “please.” the second your lips meet, fireworks go off. colour paints the sky as mitsuya’s soft lips grace yours. he cups your face, fingers tucking your hair back. you pull away for air moments later, lips swollen and red from kissing, cheeks a similar shade and glossed over, dazed look his eyes. 

you pull out the stashed away confession letter. “i.. was going to confess to you but i guess you did it first.. you can still keep this and read it if you like-“ “i’ll cherish it forever” he cuts you off. “i’ll cherish you forever” you break out into a grin and wrap your arm around his. “i’ll cherish you forever as well”. 

the two of you return to the knowing glances of the rest of your friends, draken pats mitsuya on the back “great going loverboy” “shut up..” 

your fingers intertwine with mitsuya’s as more fireworks go off, you lean your head on his shoulder. 

that very same jacket you would continue to wear for years to come, and that very same bracelet, the both of you would have adorned on your wrists until time wore it out, that very same pincushion, mitsuya would have on every single sewing project. 

all of you would forever share this moment in your own ways. operation: mitsuya x y/n groupchat now served no purpose but no one had the heart to delete it.

you would all share more new years festivals and nights under the fireworks, and you couldn’t be happier with the people in your life. 

[freshlyrage]

Running Like Water

Chapter 35

pairing: Javier Peña x OFC (written as xReader)

fic warnings: NSFW Explicit Smut (18+ MDNI) language, strained family relationships, mentions of drug abuse, discussions of insecurities and body image issues, daddy and mommy issues

fic tags: Best friends younger sister, Life-long crush, Friends to lovers, Unrequited love, slow burn, Push and Pull, Small Town Dynamics, Secret Relationships, latina MC, Fluff and Angst, OFC!Jessica Alba face claim, sorry Lorraine I'm bringing you into this, Time jumps, 2 year age gap, pre-canon

word count: 4.7k

A/N: Happy New Year! This is a double update. This is the first of the two. Chapter 37 will be our last chapter. I can't believe it and I'm lowkey in mourning. I hope you enjoy.

Things are weird. 

Your mother fixes her jaw and exhales when you come home in Javier’s oversized shirt. Thankfully she ignores it. You quickly realize you guys became that couple. That couple that could never get their shit together and made everyone else suffer with anticipation. 

Well, you weren’t a couple just yet. But still. 

You shrug and continue to have a surprisingly decent time with your mother. You laugh even. Granted, she had a glass of wine to loosen. Still, you laughed and leaned into each other and you didn’t feel hurt, or alone. You wonder if maybe this was the way to feel good. To intake your family in moderation. She even compliments your cooking. 

Dinner is lovely, your mothers husband is quite the storyteller. An unserious man, your mother covers Sol’s ears a few times and tosses a napkin at him. Vein in the middle of her head pressing tightly from her laughter. 

When Sol is put to bed by her father, you and your mother clean the kitchen. It reminds you of your junior year. It was just you and her in the house. It was a year where you felt like it was good between you two. You had a boyfriend, you had friends. You were distracted. She had just started seeing James. The two of you were effectively out of each other's paths until dinner. You’d eat, then you’d do the dishes together, shoulder to shoulder. With the water running and pruney fingers you were able to forget the pain associated with being her daughter. 

You’re twenty four now, and it's hard to be distracted.

You suppose it’s hard for her too. 

“I’m sorry for the way I handled everything with your father. A few years ago.”

Your brows furrow, lips chapping. Still scrubbing a dish, she’s holding the next one. You look at her briefly, proceeding with caution, “oo-kay.” 

“I never knew how to be your mother. I was cold to you– I am.” She clears her throat and her tipsy eyes disappear. A sober thought. “I feel like I pushed you away. You never want to be here.”

You nearly scramble to tell her it's okay, that she had done nothing wrong. Blame yourself a little. Hug her, wipe her wet eyes and hug her again. That's the part of you that's still weak, that still wants a mom. But really, she had done wrong. And you’re a big girl now. So you nod and continue the dishes.

“I don’t like being here. It’s too painful of a reminder.” You wring the sponge when your hands get soapy, moving another plate to the dish rack. A sniffle comes from your right. 

“I can't fix it now. I don’t even need you to forgive me. But I’ve noticed that you call me less, that you reduced visits to once a year. I haven't made it easy. Your father was–um-” Her voice breaks and you finally look at her. She’s got more wrinkles around her eyes, age spots growing. Her brown hair peppered with gray curls. Time moves fast, she’s getting older. She looks young when she cries. “I know that you and Javier…I don’t know if you were together but– I know that you love him, then he came here after you met your father  and It clicked, how much he cared-”

You cross your arms. “Then you helped him marry another woman.” 

“I was angry– it’s not an excuse but at the time the way he spoke to me made me irrational. He hit me with a reality I was too selfish to accept. I was spiteful. To me… your father was my Javier. I don’t need you to feel bad but I need you to know.” She shakes her hands off in the sink, grabbing a hand towel and turning just like you. Shoulder to shoulder still, just with your backs to the sink. Your silence is read as an invitation to keep talking. And it is, your mother wipes her nose.

“James has been making me go to a therapist. He made me go because we took Sol to the park and we were watching her… and he asked me, I bet you miss when Andrea was this small, I bet you miss taking her to the park.”

“You never took me to the park.” You whisper, voice cracking despite your protests. 

“I never took you to the park.” She responds. “He made me go after that. When you were born I was in so much duress from your father that I couldn't nurse. My body was shutting down and I couldn’t even get up to look at you in that little incubator they had you in. They said I had Postpartum depression. I–I was– I am a woman of god, I grew up in the church and on the island– that medical talk of depression– I rejected the help.” She takes a deep breath in. “Then I stayed spiteful, and angry and distant. None of it was your fault but I felt so– I saw you and then I saw your father and I would feel the pain I felt when I caught him doing drugs. Andrea, estaba tan perdida. El tiempo pasa rápido y sólo quiero ser parte de tu vida. Te pido disculpas hija.” She sobs and the sound is awful.

Not even you are immune to the cries of your mother.

You place your hand on hers and let her cry.

Yeah, it’s fucking weird. 

It’s weirder when you stay up the entire night avoiding thinking about the conversation with your mother. 

Editing your welcome back lesson plan, a draft in your hotel room and the sheets feel itchier than ever. And everything seems to bother you and you nearly shut your notebook, rev up your rental and speed over to Javier’s house. 

The two of you did not sleep before your dinner with your mother. Instead the two of you just chatted in whispers. Nails circling his chest, fingerprints tight on your arm. Then, in bed with him, you have a thought that’s weird. 

That scares you. That you banish in the moment and shift closer into his ribs. So close he grunts with a laugh. 

But alone on the floral sheets of a room so foreign it comes back. 

What if the chase is over and he realizes that you could be anyone? What if you aren’t all that he made you up to be. 

What if it’s all said and done and he’s no longer excited. He loves you, but it isn’t the same. If he changes his mind when he realizes a future with you entails no mess, an easy love. What if the broken parts of you are only fun when you have to keep his attempt to heal you a secret? 

You don’t want the chase anymore but what if he’s fallen in love with the chase?

Then you feel like shit. Wanting to pinch yourself at the silly thought. Hasn’t he shown you how badly he wants this?

Then you wonder why it hasn’t worked the first 100 times. Then you wonder if this whole thing, you, putting him on trial is just another way for you to keep the chase. You realize you’re more afraid than you put on. You’re afraid that when he has you, you won’t be worth staying with. You won’t be worth coming back to. 

You wished you knew your therapist's number by heart. You needed her last night. 

You cried the entire night. It was one of those nights where you stared at yourself until you felt sad and spiraled and thought of all of the pain you feel. 

You thought of Lucas of course, of your father. You no longer felt the need for him but the stain of his absence bleeds into every decision made, into every negative thought. 

He was your Lorraine. 

Never present but somehow in control of your life. God you fucking hated that. 

You don’t think of these things back in New York. Sure, you’re reminded when you’re sitting across your therapist but it’s detached. You aren’t anchored the way you are here. When you’re home it all feels so real, it’s in the fucking air. Yet you still call it home. You call Laredo home before New York. You have another scary thought. 

You wonder if Javier in New York will keep you anchored in the trauma that comes from being home. 

You want to scream at the thought, the guilt you feel is probably fear. You’re afraid, so your brain is making excuses and thoughts that never existed before. Yet, it still makes you heave. You hold yourself to sleep.

You cry so much that when you wake up the next morning you feel hungover. Headpoudning, lids sore to the touch. The sort of breakdown that makes you embarrassed when you wake up. Your feet are cold against the floor when you graze the room aimlessly, forcing yourself to shower. 

You close your eyes and picture his hands running over your shoulders, down to the front of your chest. His big rough hands contrast the softness of your breasts, the way you’d pebble against his palm. Left hand parts you. You touch yourself and finish quickly with his name on your lips. 

It’s the 30th and you’ll be on the road to  Houston tonight. You hope to God these foolish thoughts are banished by then. You just want a break from all these thoughts. You want it to feel like Louisiana. 

The shower does not wash the dread. 

You reach for the phone. 

Javier’s room never gets this sort of light. It’s delightful but also tells him just how fucking dusty this place is. It also exposes him, quite rudely, to how childish the place is. He cringes a bit when he pictures his body over yours on that full sized bed. Rutting into you, your legs over his shoulder. Then he thinks of how it used to feel to be inside of you and he doesn’t give a fuck about how his room looks. 

Against the wall is his bed, pictures scattered on the arch of the ceiling. The part of his room he likes best, his low lofted vaulted ceiling where he placed posters throughout his adolescence. He thinks of the nights you spent in his bed, your feet pressed against the ceiling to “stretch”. There’s a rip on the corner of his Queen poster from your toes. You squealed and apologized but Javier couldn’t stop laughing at your concern for a little rip. He kissed you to sleep that night, kissed you until you dropped your legs from the ceiling. 

You had so many days like that, just together. So many nights sneaking around, library dates, picking you up from work. Those two months were bliss. He wants more, he wants his whole life to be those moments of nothing. Those tiny poster ripping and giggling moments with you. 

He doesn’t have to pack much, it’s just two nights. It’s not like he unpacked completely anyway. He moves three outfits into a duffel bag, cigarette dangling from his lips. Grunts when he stands and makes his bed. 

Floorboards creak and there’s two knocks at the doorframe of his room. Javier turns and beckons Chucho in with a head nod. His father has been distant lately, not in a way that bothers him but in a way that he’s proud of.

 Javier loves his dad, but man was he always in his damn business. Always home, always making a face when Javier would leave the room after sneaking you out. Laughing and going back to his crossword. He’s been seeing some lady which Javier’s actually quite pleased with. Her name is Michelle apparently, she’s a widow who has been struggling with up keeping her land since she lost her husband back in ‘86. They met 3 years ago, he’d come by and help, for free. This year he asked her to dinner, which he called Javier about whether or not you wear a tie to that sort of thing. 

Now he spends most nights in her home. 

Javier sits down onto his bed because his father has that face on him. That face he gives him when he wants to talk. He grunts the same way Javier does when he pulls out Javier’s desk chair and sits. He looks at Javier’s duffel bag then at the cigarette between his son's fingers. 

Chucho taps the worn wood. “You just got here.” 

Javier fights the urge to sigh, but he sympathizes with him. It does feel strange to leave home when he’s been gone for so long. “It’s barely two days.  I’ll be back around six in the afternoon on the first.” 

He gives a quick nod, “I’m getting old.” Javier’s brows furrow.

“Don’t look it.”

Chucho chuckles, shaking his head. “Are you going alone? To Houston.”

He thinks he knows where this is going. One of those warning talks, you can’t do this to her again Javi, I can’t allow it. Javier doesn’t care for those talks anymore, he’s working too hard. “Andrea is coming with me. I’m picking her up from her moms place at seven.”

His father presses his lips together and leans further into the chair with a slow nod. The sun passes behind some trees and makes the room dark for a second. Javier’s brow quivers, confused by his fathers body language. 

“What?” Javi snaps. 

His father sighs, “Nothing, I’m just getting old.”

“You’re only sixty-two– why do you keep saying that?” 

“I’m saying that because I want to at least have working knees when you have grandchildren.” Javi leans forward still in confusion so his father lets out another sigh, “Jesús Cristo, I’ve been watching you and that girl run in circles for almost eleven years. Even though my opinion doesn’t matter, obviously, she’s the only person I’ve ever wanted you to be with. I thought it wasn’t the best idea a few years ago, you know, seeing how hurt she was but she was only that way when you were apart. This is looking like your last chance son, she’s leaving this time.” 

Javier brushes his jaw, sometimes he forgets that everyone else has witnessed their little love despite their best efforts to keep it hidden. The silence lingers, thick and heavy, Javier thinks of what his life would look like without you and it’s dark, his stomach pits in a way that terrifies him. 

“I-“ Javi begins but he’s unsure of what he wants to say. But he knows that there’s no wrong answer under his dads watch. So he speaks from somewhere else, “She’s it for me. I’ll do anything in my power to make it work. She’s accepted me at my worst, she has taken care of me I-I can’t bear to be without her. Ella es mi vida.” It’s from that organ that keeps him alive, from that spot that aches when she—when you’re not around, that spot beats for you. He feels no fear and the face of his father softens greatly. 

It seems as though he gets younger with this look, “Well then, I have something for you.”

Now, if someone would have told you, say, three days ago that you’d be in your childhood bedroom with your brother and your mother talking about Javier— Hah! You’d cackle straight in their face.

Well, desperate times. You needed to clear your mind and also you wanted to raid your old closet of clothes for some last minute packing before Javier comes to get you. 

You called your mother back at the hotel. You asked if you could come over, and she was, well, still Melissa Diaz.

 Complaining, frantic about her dinner plans she made with some ladies at the church but ultimately said —“Whatever, bring wine.” 

You laughed to yourself. 

You’ve always sympathized with your mother. Despite her cold demeanor and strange moral code, you felt for her. 

Being apart from her felt good, fuck it, it was good. Your brain was clear of all the shit she put you through, you nearly forgot all those side comments she made to you growing up by being away from her for less than a year. She will never be a true mother to you. The only parent you’ve ever had was Chucho Peña, you’ve created peace with that. He’s been one hell of a parent. 

The conversation with your mother last night  shocked your system for a few hours, left you confused and then at peace. You imagined leaving, coming home maybe in March and making dinner with her a few nights. Then being able to pick up and go again. You pictured this possible relationship, one where she isn’t forgiven, but one you could grow with. Not to be an asshole, but with a personality like your mothers you wonder how anyone puts up with her for more than 7 hours at a time.

You won’t let her hurt you. 

That’s what you concluded, she can’t hurt you anymore. She’s trying to help herself and if you feel unsafe, if you feel fourteen again, you could always leave. That makes you feel secure. 

Then it terrified you, the thought of stability when all you’ve known is turbulence. 

So yes, you spiraled last night and cried and wondered if Javier would get bored, if he would leave and fuck, fuck, fuck you woke up this morning with such a headache. 

Your therapist suggested once to just–say it out loud, when you feel like your thoughts are crazy, tell it to someone so they could snap you out of it. 

The last person you ever thought you’d practice this with would be your mother yet somehow, despite being, you know, your mother, would have a fresh pair of ears. Because she truly has no idea what’s gone on in your life. 

And you invited Frankie too, because he was there and you needed someone to decipher how much of your recollection was delusion and how much reality. 

So, you’re all sharing a bottle of red wine on the carpeted floor of your bedroom. 

Just minutes earlier, Frankie pulled you aside while you uncorked the wine. 

Since when do you willingly make plans with me mom? 

You shrug and say, Don’t know. 

There’s that. 

“Okay, okay. Forgive me but I am confused. Javier was still— he was still with that girl? With Lorraine?”

You and Frankie groan in tandem. Your mother was a shitty listener sober, tipsy is a whole other story. You started off telling your mother and brother that you and Javier are trying this out again. Taking it slow, Frankie works his jaw but two minutes into your tangent he softens. 

I tried to give other people a chance, I just knew it would be one of those things. Where I'd find a good guy, someone who’s probably perfect and it would be easy. I know I would live my whole life grieving and feeling fucking—sorry mami—empty and alone and unhappy knowing Javier is out there somewhere either alone or with someone else. It would make me sick, physically I wouldn’t be able to recover. 

Frankie had cast his eyes to his lap, basking in the guilt he felt from keeping the two of you apart with his judgment and smothering need to be in control of those around him. Especially his sister and his best friend. It felt strange to say this to your mother and brother of all people, not because of the concept of a mother and brother. Not because it’s awkward to talk romance to family members. But because of the way they played the role of mother and brother, when you needed them most, they weren’t the safe spaces you’d hoped they’d be. 

Your mother on the other hand narrowed her eyes at you and for a moment you anticipated her to just ruin the whole thing. 

“Perdóname, pero ¿alguna vez... te metiste con Javier?” She says in a whisper that’s half slurred and half very very serious. Melissa’s shoulders are slumped like she’s trying to hide her question from your brother. 

Your brows raise to the top of your forehead, mouth agape your head snaps to look at your brother and his face is doing the same. 

And you burst out laughing. A laugh that probably could wake your sister and step-dad. But you and Frankie don’t care, you’re having that sort of laugh that has you physically rolling and heaving. Nearly knocking your wine glass over and then laughing at that. 

“Que!” Your mother exclaims, “What? Why do you laugh at me?!” She slaps Frankie's head. 

You wipe tears from your eyes.

“Mami.” You furrowed brows, “Really?”

“Yes… really.” She mocks you, “I was left out of the loop, you were always lying to me so I stopped caring!” 

“Jesus Christ.” Frankie exhales with another chuckle. Melissa pinches his arm. “Ow! Sorry!” 

“So I’m telling the whole thing then?” Your mother nods, while simultaneously rubbing the spot she just pinched on your brother's arm.

 Frankie nods too, “It’s not like I know all that went on either.” 

“Alright then.” You cleared your throat, taking a sip of merlot. You look at Frankie and point, “You aren’t allowed to get mad that a lot of this involved hiding things from you, okay?”

He put his hands in the air, “Water under the bridge nena.” 

“Obviously I had a crush on Javier when we were all close. It was childlike and fun to have for the most part but it felt very real for me. It feels real still,you know then he started dating Lorraine. I liked her, she was nice to me–”

“To your face. She would really pick fun at your crush behind your back.” Frankie cuts. You shrug, sipping again. Your mother shakes her head, muttering something under her breath.

“Yeah… I know that. Anyway, I never crossed any lines. I was… exploring… on my own but Javi was always there confusing me, flirting with me and just being around and there for me when I was alone. I was alone a lot and yes, we did kiss but that's all we did and it was when Lorraine cheated on him and they were broken up for a week.”

“She cheated?” 

You almost want to roll your eyes at the shock from your mother’s voice, she says it as if she knew her so well.

Frankie furrows his brows and turns to your mother, “I feel like I told you this.” 

She just shrugs, “I guess I forgot. Andrea, continue.”

You nod, “They got back together soon after, I had no idea he was leaving–none of us knew he was moving away. I just felt so tugged around those few months, so confused and uh–um I’m sorry.” You feel it again, you're there, in the kitchen and you’re only sixteen. Gripping onto the sink. You feel the brush of his thumb over your wrist and his eyes are searching your face. You wipe your tears that escaped. Your mother pats your ankle “On your graduation day Frankie, Javi told me that he would stay if I told him to. Genie is the only person I told about this. He put me in such a fucked up position, he knew how badly I wanted to be with him but I couldn’t do that to Lorraine. Now I wish I was selfish, it would have prevented so much pain if I just thought of myself for once. But I’m plagued by the need to be a good person. So we didn’t talk for six years and I dated Xavier– and mom, I know you liked him but he was horrible to me.” You run a hurried hand through your hair and peek a glance at your brother who stares at you with a set face of compassion. He hadn’t known about the night of his graduation and what really went down between the two of you and why you locked yourself away those first few days of summer. 

Your mother doesn’t argue with you, they have nothing to say now.  

Your tears don’t fall when your mind grazes that summer almost four years ago. Being together, really together. Kissing him, your illicit affair. A little love for the both of you. “We were together the entire time he was here in 1986, he came home and we knew, you know we had a plan for when he would go to Colombia.” Your mother still has that face of surprise that turned to revelation. Her mouth opens to speak but you get to it before her. “Yes mami, all those times you thought someone was in my room it was Javi. Especially the time when you came home and saw his car in the driveway.”

“Huh. And you called me crazy!”

“I had a feeling that whole time, I would call his house and he’d never be there.” Frankie laughs and you can’t believe this is the place you’re at. Your mother only making lighthearted comments and your brother laughing off this big secret that once wracked your heart in shame. 

“Yeah I lied a lot that summer. I wanted to protect what we had and after your wedding we were going to tell everyone and just be public.”

“Then Lorraine came home.” Frankie replies, and the room feels colder than it did a few seconds before. Your mother frowns, in your heart you hope she’s thinking of the ways she may have made that time harder for you. You hope she regrets it because no matter how clueless she makes herself out to be, she knew she was hurting you. You laugh because if not you’d be crying.

“Then she came home, so yeah. You all know how that went, and now he’s here for good. And I’m only here for a few more days.” And now you’re here, asking for advice without really asking for it. You just bring your knees to your chest hoping they can read your mind. Your glass is empty and you feel exposed in front of them, suddenly, embarrassed to let it all hang loose. 

There’s my story, although you’ve hurt me, please tell me how to end it. 

Your mother purses her lips and sits up straight, “So… Now you're with him?” 

You blink twice, “No, but me and him have… slept together- we are trying to figure it out.”

“Ew.” Frankie squeezes his eyes shut and your mother rolls her eyes.

“Grow up.” Your mother swats him again, “Why don’t you two just get it over with, you obviously love each other. I don’t think he’d mind moving with you.”

“It’s hard–it’s just there’s so much we have to work on… individually and he’s working on himself and I am too but there just feels like so much more– I just– we’re going to Houston tonight and I want to have a good time but all I can think of is how it–”

“Andrea.”

“-how fucked up this all has been. I know he’d leave with me now if I asked but what if we’re there living alone and he realizes he made a mistake –”

“Andrea.”

“He’s the only person I can ever-”

“Andrea!” Your brother shouts.

“What?” Your voice is shaking and you’ve lost track of the room it seems. 

Your mother has a pitying look and your brother’s eyes are blown out, he leans back into the wall and he closes his eyes for a moment in disbelief. “You are overcomplicating this. You’re doing that thing you do–”

“What-what thing?”

He sighs at your immediate defensiveness, he knows nothing, “That thing where you stop yourself from getting a good thing because you’re afraid–”

“I-I’m not afraid.” You lie.

“Andrea.” His tone is full of exhaustion, “Please, mom back me up.” He looks over at your mother and this feels ridiculous. What do they know? They barely know you they–they are only just learning.

“Si mija, from what you’ve told us and from the way he’s always been with you there's nothing to be worried about. This seems like the moment.”

Your lips feel chapped and your eyes blur over. Things are falling into place around you yet your mind is telling you things are still falling, you feel disconnected and heaviness in the middle of your chest.

 “I don’t know–”

Three loud beeps silence the room. You rush to your feet, nearly knocking over the wine bottle to your left and head to your bedroom window.

In the driveway, Chucho’s truck.

[i-smoke-chapstick]

'DON'T BLAME ME, [PART FOURTEEN]

-GOTHAM!JERVIS TETCH X READER-

⋆ 𝐒𝐘𝐍𝐎𝐏𝐒𝐈𝐒 ; Reader just wants to get out the house. Jervis has some few choice words.

⋆ tags/warnings. GOTHAM!jervis x female reader. BACK FROM MY HIATUS! SLOW BURN!!! Not sure how many chapters this will be yet! LOTS OF PLOT SET-UP!! AGE GAP ROMANCE! (reader is Jim and Barbara's daughter) He's fallen harder. Jervis is STRESSING. Jervis being an obsessive possessive whiney bastard. Writing this kind of artistically and as character studies for everyone. Suggestive themes. They are in love guys everyone shhh. Controlling behavior. (Reader likes it) I'm taking canon out back and beating it with a stick until it stops twitching.

⋆ tag list (tell me if you want to be removed!) @adalwolfgang @jervis-tetch-my-beloved @honestmrdual @moonlightnyx @all-things-fandomstuck @killingboredom @sweetlimeharvest @frenchfryqueen69

⋆ 'PART ONE, - 'PART TWO, - 'PART THREE, - 'PART FOUR, - 'PART FIVE, - 'PART SIX, - 'PART SEVEN' - 'PART EIGHT, - 'PART NINE, - 'PART TEN, - 'PART ELEVEN, - 'PART TWELVE, - 'PART THIRTEEN, - 'PART FOURTEEN,

♫ “I want to get next to you. Yeah, I love all the things you do...” Obsessed With You by The Orion Experience

It's the next day. You still haven't talked to him about the kiss, or about leaving to see your mom. You don't see why it would be a problem, but something gnaws at you that it's not the best idea. Oh well. You miss Tabitha. You miss Butch. You'll only be gone for a few hours, Jervis won't know. Fuck it.

You made sure to wake up abnormally early, and god, it hurts to get out of bed. You look at the clock. 4:00 AM. Jesus Christ.

You've planned this. In and out. For some reason, you don't want Jervis to know you're leaving. You just have this bad inkling tugging at you. What if he thinks your leaving to see your father? What if he thinks it's all a ploy? Find him, kiss him, oh- yeah, Jim Gordon is going to take you to Arkham. Sorry about that.

You shudder, grabbing your phone. You throw on some clothes you had to dig around to find. The amount of texts you've received has stayed the same. Selina was right. They were giving up hope. That makes you a bit sick to your stomach.

Swallowing, you open the door. It's still dark outside, and you try to be as quiet as possible. Will your mom even be up? Probably. Siren's is open 24/7. This is basically prime time.

You sneak down the stairs- until you see the faint candle light in the living room. What, did Jervis forget to put it out? Or is he still awake?

You place a hand over your mouth, scouting out the area like you're from some poorly made spy movie. For the amount of time you spend with Selina, you certainly aren't well versed in sneaking around.

When you think you're in the clear- you round the corner, before a voice sparks you out of your thoughts. You practically jolt.

"And just what do you think you're doing, my dear?"

He speaks smoothly, and you finally see him, whipping your head around. His body language is tight, legs crossed as he looks up at you through his lashes. His gaze never strays, as always. You hardly even register the question.

"...Mr. Tetch-" You breathe, clutching your phone. He interrupts.

"I thought we were passed formalities, dear." He raises a taunting eyebrow, cocking his head. Something in his voice sends chills down your spine.

"We are. Sorry," You attempt to sound as casual as possible. Shit. "What are you doing up this early?"

"I could ask you the same thing. I assume you were attempting to slip away in secret?" He rises from his seat in the room, coming out the shadows. "You know, you aren't making yourself look particularly trustworthy."

"What? I can't go for a morning stroll?" You shift.

He scoffs.

"A morning stroll? In the dead of night? You'd never wake up of your own accord so early," He continues to push, "Besides...you're a terrible liar. An awful actress."

His words border on a childish sneer. Rude.

You come off it.

"Look, I just wanted to see my mom, okay? Explain where I am...I don't know."

His gaze softens, but only a bit. You try to push out the thoughts of those same lips kissing your own hungrily. Fuck.

"You aren't a prisoner," He huffs, insulted. "But sneaking out of our home? At this hour?"

You begin to study him, you listen to his words. Our home. How...domestic. It's almost like he didn't kill the owners of it before you two shoved your way in to formulate revenge plots. You groan.

You decide to finally call it out. To just be blunt. Address the...elephant in the room.

"Is this about the kiss?"

There's a moment of silence. It's almost comical, to watch his expression. How it changes from a sneer, to confusion, to utter surprise. He looks like a flustered mess at your words, obviously not used to being called out.

"You-" He begins, but stops himself. He looks like he's going to be sick, and it almost elicits a chuckle out of you.

"I'm not avoiding you." You say, genuinely. You can see right through him. "Is that what you think?"

He breathes heavily. You aren't sure if it's embarrassment, or your bluntness on the exchange between you two. He stares at you, bewildered and ruffled.

Collecting himself, he finally speaks up.

"What am I supposed to think!?" It comes out in a weak snap, all bark no bite. But...it does scare you a bit. He stalks closer and closer on you, and you realize just how tall he is. "Look at you, little girl, running away like a thief in the night."

His voice is suddenly gentle as it trails off, and you feel your breath hitch as his finger comes beneath your chin, tilting your gaze up to him.

"So naive. So innocent. So ignorant." His voice is cutting, strangely degrading.

You look into his eyes, and you realize...he's scolding you. And you love it.

You feel warm all over, biting your lip. His eyes travel down to watch you tug it in between your teeth, and his gaze darkens almost instantly. You have the same effect on him, apparently.

"I wasn't avoiding you." You say, impossibly gentle. It's lowered to a whisper as you're backed against a wall. "I promise, Jervis...I promise." You take a hand to cradle his cheek. You watch as his touch-starved body immediately sinks into the touch, closing his eyes.

You swear you can feel his heart beating. His breath comes in quiet gasps as he drinks in your comforting presence. This is the most intimate you two must've been with anybody. It's real. It's reciprocated.

He still seems wary, unconvinced. He gazes up at you, eyes narrowing, but still soft. You forget all about your father. You forget all about revenge. Maybe Mr. Tetch is your sanctuary.

You wonder if this is what your mother felt for your dad. No wonder she went batshit crazy. You would too.

"You can come with me. To the club." You say, sincerely. You watch as his lips part, and the tension in his body melts away. "If you want."

A beat of silence, before that spark returns to him.

"...Perhaps I may have rushed to conclusions." He says simply, still begrudgingly. But you find yourself lighting up at him relenting. "May I?" He asks, holding out a hand for you to take.

He detaches himself from you, but not without difficulty. You take his hand in response.

There it is again. That jolt of electricity. That feeling of adoration.

You breathe a relieved sigh and let him drag you away.

[xxsycamore]

✨The Sunshine Syndrome

╰┈➤ 🎂 "Do you remember what you wished for, last night when you blew the candles?"

Sebastian x Reader; ft. all the mansion residents • rating: G • tags: Birthday Fluff; Humor; everyone being silly goofy • wordcount: 1,453 • masterlist

a/n: and again, HAPPY BIRTHDAY INKY!!!! 🎉🎉🎉@inkys-garden I was wondering what to tell you about Sebas celebrating your birthday, and it suddenly turned into fic plot so here we are :DD HOPE YOU LIKE ITTTT!! I LOVE YOU SO MUCH ❤❤❤

It's another beautiful day of your life in 19th century Paris, in the neat little mansion up the hill that you call a home, just you and your lover and your 8 housemates who are reincarnated vampires and your sugar daddy landlord whose wealth you all live off. A day like any other, it might seem, except, today is the day you were born. Well, the day you will be born, if you have to take the time travel into account… your suggestion to place a minus in front of your age on the cake this year was met with disapproval by your lover Sebastian. "We can do the same for your age!" You said, but Sebastian wasn't really interested.

Content and excited for the day to unfold, you've already put your cutest outfit on, made a little spin in front of the mirror and exited your room to head downstairs. Strangely, Sebastian didn't wake you up earlier this morning, despite your wish to come help him with chores like always. He must have let you get some more shut-eye because it's your special day. He really shouldn't have to!

Huh. It's strange, you can swear you're hearing a cheerful melody coming from the dining room. Speeding up your step that already had a bit of spring to it, your curiosity makes you push the doors open without a second thought.

"YOU CAN DANCEEE!"

"YOU CAN JIVE!"

"Having the time of your lifeee!"

Wait, what! Why is everyone here, spreading jam on toasts, smiling at each other, why is Mozart smiling at all, and why on earth are they singing Abba?! "Oh, you're awake! We've been all waiting for you!" Sebas suddenly notices you, giving you the softest smile while gesturing you to come closer.

"There's the birthday girl. Heh, had a good night's sleep, cara-mia?

Previously, you thought you did. Now you're wondering if you're STILL sleeping.

"I, uh, I guess so? I did sleep very well… I thought I'd be awake much earlier though! But that aside, what are you-"

Theo interrupts you, thrusting a plate with warm pancakes into your hands.

"Good morning, kuiken, this is for you, I left some pancakes for you. Happy Birthday. Sorry I wasn't around to wish you a Happy Birthday last night, I hope you had fun with the others."

"Oh! That's- Theo, please, I understand you're a busy man- wait, how did you call me?!"

"A baby chick. I figured hondje might be a bit too rude so I'm switching to kuiken. It suits you more."

H-Huuuh!

"Okay then, thank you for being so considerate! But still, what are you guys all doing here, singing and all?!"

Jean of all people speaks up, pulling out the chair next to him so you can take a seat. You do so with curiosity, seeing his sincere little smile.

"It happened spontaneously, mademoiselle. It seems like we all had the same sudden idea to have breakfast together for a change. I was a bit reluctant about joining, but Sebastian showed me how easy it is to make these toasts with jam. I think I should consider joining you around the table more often."

You're utterly moved by Jean's sudden change of heart, and his face is so angelic in this moment. You've been waiting for him to take this step for so long, and here he took a leap!

"Amazing, isn't he?" Dazai startles you by placing a hand on your shoulder from behind. "I want to seal this version of our Jean in one of my future writings. I feel like writing something happy and light for a change, I wonder why is that?"

You understand Dazai's sentiment, as surprising as it is to hear the last part of what he said. With a mood like this, it seems like everyone's in good spirits.

"They say an apple a day keeps the doctor away, yet here you are…" Isaac rolls his eyes at Arthur, holding up an apple in his hand as if to emphasize his point. Arthur blinks at him, not used to the physicist weaponizing the very same thing that has been used against him so often before. He feels inclined to ask, trying his best lighthearted but simultaneously teasing tone, without a real bite to it.

"You do understand that's just a saying, Isaac? It hasn't been scientifically proven."

Isaac smiles at him, shrugging his shoulders. "I was just joking."

You watch the exchange with the same bewilderment as everything else happening around you, and that's when the door opens again to reveal a yawning Napoleon. Oh, you didn't realize he was missing from the impromptu house meeting!

"'Morning. I don't remember the last time I slept so much…"

"Good Morning, Monsieur Napoleon! We all decided to let you sleep in for as long as you want to today. Your second life here is all about relaxing, after all. It seems like you've enjoyed it!"

"Oh, that's strange, last time I checked it wasn't my birthday today?" Napoleon smirks, running a hand through his unruly hair, and winks at you.

"Why did we stop singing? I need to remember the rhythm for my composition. Otherwise, I'll have to let you all in my music room later and… well, maybe if you agree to behave we can move our choir there actually." Mozart smiles behind his cup of tea, surprisingly considering the idea.

"Yay, I've been waiting for a chance to visit the music room!" Exclaims Vincent, just a tad louder than how he usually shows his joy.

Watching them all be so happy, to the point where even Comte cares little about keeping his chuckles in the usual gentlemanly tone and Leonardo barely bickers with him over it, you find yourself overwhelmed with the giddy feeling that fills the room. All you want to do right now is join in the good mood, enjoying this moment to the fullest, but you want one last grounding moment with Sebastian before you do that. So you pull him to the kitchen, away from the rowdy residents, and ask once again how did this happen.

"I taught them Dancing Queen because I thought it was fitting of the mood."

"I'm not asking about this!!"

Sebastian smiles at you, gently tucking your hair behind your ear.

"Do you remember what you wished for, last night when you blew the candles?"

The memory floods your mind at once, all confetti and the sound of several people singing you Happy Birthday. They quite literally bombarded you with wishes, compliments, telling you how big of a sunshine you are, how you're the most cheerful and bubbly person they know. In the heat of the moment, you said you wish they could all feel how happy you truly are in this moment. You wished it could stay like that forever; all smiles and fun and games.

You gasp.

"Am I… infectious?!"

"I'm afraid you are. Look around you. My dear, your sunshine syndrome could reach faraway kingdoms and melt the heart of any cold-blooded prince, turn the ruthless tiger into a playful little kitten. This is how you are."

"S-Sebas!! This could be very bad, what about-"

"Let's not think about the future. Things are amazing the way they are right now. We have to live in the moment."

"Sebas!!"

"You and I won't be doing any chores today. Or tomorrow for that matter. Or the day after. We should focus on enjoying life and partying."

"THE MANSION IS GOING TO CRUMBLE TO DUST!!"

***

"My dear, are you alright? Just what kind of dreams are you having? Why is the mansion going to crumble to dust?"

You wake up to Sebastian caressing your face, trying to shake off your dreams. Your…dreams?!

"Sebas… oh my god…"

"Was it a nightmare? It's over now." Sebastian leans down and places a kiss on your forehead, before standing to his feet. "You can lounge around for a little longer, but come to the kitchen when you're ready. It might be your birthday but we still have a long day ahead of us!"

You rub your closed eyes, still finding it hard not to mix dreams with reality. You're almost glad to see him so much… like himself, even if it means doing chores with him again. "Mm, I'll be there in fifteen minutes…"

"I'm supposed to keep this a secret, but… I want to be selfish and see your surprised and happy face while we're still alone. The residents all promised to come to breakfast today, and even help preparing it!"

You blink.

No.

This can't be.

"…Could we sing too?"

"Perhaps we can. If our masters are feeling up to it."

"YAAY!"

Taglist: @arsnovacadenza @kimi00twin @g-kleran @thesirenwashere @devonares @galaxyprison @starshards26 @thewitchofbooks @acethephoenix256 @ikevamp-shrine-2 @nad-zeta @crystal13unny @lordsister @ikemen-banshou   @themysticalbeing @otome-scribbles @rhodolitesrose @coornn @kpop-and-otome @queen-dahlia @kisara-16 @chaosangel767 @ikemenlibrary @queengiuliettafirstlady @aurora-morning @ikemenlover24 @mcofthemansion @joy-the-reader @katriniac @ikemen-writer @tele86 @lovely-bubb1es @aria-chikage @babyblue0t7 @rhodoliteschaos @shrimpy-kitsune @nightghoul381 @xbalayage @lucyw260 @kittygrimm88 @lokis-laugh @natimiles @completelyshatteredbrokenmschf @groovylita @justpeachyteastea Let me know if you want to be tagged/untagged!

[itwasntimethatdidit40]

It started out with a kiss, how did it ended like this?

Pairing/Au: Young!Joel Miller x f!reader, no outbreak

Rating: +18, NSFW

Summary: You meet Joel at a party, everything is fine, he's beautiful... will it end well?

Warnings: POV second person, no use of y/n, the story is set in 2004 but there is no Sarah so Joel is a 24 year old guy (calculated on Game!Joel's age) who went to university and has no child, smut, angst, a lot of kissing, meet cute?, sex in public places, risk of being caught, reader has breasts and vagina, she wears shorts, a tank top, heels and a dress, no other description is given of her except that she smokes (it happens only once in the ff though), fingering (f receiving), dry humping, oral (f and m receiving), p in v (wrap it up irl!), reader is on the pill, cream pie, alcohol consumption, smoking, infidelity, plot twist, dubcon (I’m putting that here because reader is drunk but not so drunk, she gives explicit consent but you know, just to be sure.), brief Tommy appearance (is that a warning? LOL poor Tommy, love him), pussy pronouns, pet names (mostly baby) a lot of swearing, very small age gap but I'm pointing it out anyway, reader is 21 and Joel is 24, some insert of reader’s thoughts, no happy ending (sorry 💀). This story is inspired by something that happened to me personally so please please be particularly gentle with it (you always are tbh, thanks a lot❤️).

The places are places that really exist, they are in Italy but I still tried to leave them neutral so that you can imagine the setting in several places in the world where there is the sea, at least I hope. Where I live it is legal for beach resorts to organize beach parties at certain times established by law, as for music, the songs mentioned are songs that I personally love, I think that more or less everyone knows them, right? Hashtag Millennials music lol

English is not my first language, no beta or proofreading, apologies for any mistake! 🙇🏻‍♀️

Header and dividers by me, sorry if they look like sh*t, I tried my best 🥲

Archive tags: @pedrostories

“Are you a dream or are you real?”

You roll your eyes, while this guy who has approached you and has been dancing next to you for 15 minutes has grabbed you by the waist and whispered these words to you.

Are men really convinced they can seduce with this bullshit?

You turn around thinking you’ll find the usual maniac face who reaches out with shameless hands.

You’re absolutely ready to tell him to go to hell.

Oh.

He’s a tall guy, probably slightly older than you, messy black curls, scruffy beard and mustache and big, gorgeous brown eyes.

Not bad at all.

But it doesn’t mean you can go by your mother’s favorite way of thinking “he’s handsome so he can’t be evil”, it’s fucking stupid and you know it. She used to allow you to ride in your male friend’s car only because he was so hot and wealthy and his family was well known and respected.

If only she had known… but anyway, he belongs to the past, to a group of toxic people you don't hang out with anymore.

Your eyebrow raises and your mouth tug into the most ironic smile you could possibly pull out.

“I’m not Rihanna, you know? So cut off your bullshit”

He’s surprised and he stands there for a second with his mouth open looking dumb.

And then he’s at it again “You’re gorgeous” he whispers in your ear while the music is pumping hard from the disco speakers you are in and he still holds your waist, pushing you towards him “you are the most beautiful girl in this place”

“Yeah, sure” you reply, with a mixture of irritation and pity. He is visibly a little drunk, he moves awkwardly near you trying to appear sensual when in reality he’s as graceful as a brown bear.

You laugh, shaking your head, at least he’s funny.

You lean in close to his ear to make him hear you better “please leave me, I’m with my friends”

Friends who are giggling behind his back giving you the thumbs up.

You look into his alcohol-blurred pleading eyes and damn, this guy definitely knows how to get something. You feel sorry for him, and he’s cute. If he wasn’t so cute you would already left, no point in beating around the bush. You decide to give him a chance, after all it will be a one night stand at most and you’re single, there’s nothing wrong with it.

He has very large hands that wrap around your hips in just the right way and you love hands, it’s one of the first things you notice in a guy. You’re a sucker for a nice beard too and his beard is just the right length to make you want to feel it rub against your skin.

His lips look great too, plumped and perfectly designed, and his nose… big nose. Oh, yes, another box to tick. Big noses are the best.

You put your hands around his neck, you’re reaching him because you’re wearing the highest heels you’ve ever had. His body feels nice against yours, giving you shiver of pleasure down your back.

He towers over you even like this.

Your hips rub together as you dance and his hands end up on your ass. He grabs your cheeks through your skimpy shorts and give them a nice squeeze.

Wow. Audacious. You like this. It looks like this guy knows what he’s doing, horrible opening line aside.

He asks in your ear if you want something to drink and you accept, he takes your hand and escorts you through the crowd to the bar. You appreciate how he made his way through making sure not to lose you.

He leans over the counter to get the bartender's attention and you take the opportunity to take a peek at his butt. Really nice.

You are at a beach resort’s party that you always go to, it was supposed to be held on the beach but the weather didn't allow it so they moved it to this club a few km away.

You know the dj and the bartenders by name but let him make his moves and order drinks, while you nod at your favorite bartender girl and she gives you a wink and her lip reading says "nice catch”.

He looks all proud while he gives you your glass, his big brown eyes are crinkled at the edges along with his lips curved into a grin. He’s so damn cute when he smiles, you tell to yourself.

He takes a sip and he asks you your name and obviously compliments it. “I’m Joel” he tells you in your ear and he reach out to shake your hand.

You smile back profusely and your eyes glare at his biceps hugged perfectly his white t-shirt.

You feel your phone vibrate in your pocket and you let it out, your friends are still in the middle of the dance floor but you get a text on your phone saying “He’s really handsome, go girl! If you need anything call us, ok? Have fun!”

You roll your eyes grinning, everybody apparently approves.

Within minutes you discover that he’s 24, he studies architecture, plays the guitar and he has a little garage band with his friends and then you shout “Oh my god, I love this song!” You grab his arm and drag him back to the center of the dance floor. Joel doesn’t wait to be asked twice. He bounces next to you to the beat of Mr. Brightside as you both sing along at the top of your lungs. Halfway through the second verse when the song says “it was only a kiss” Joel grabs you in his arms and pushes you toward a pillar that lines the dance floor, surprising you. He slams into you and kisses you, deeply, hungrily, knocking out what little air you have left after dancing.

His tongue enters your mouth forcefully, licking greedily. A little rough and his beard and mustache are lightly scratching your skin but you don’t mind. In fact, the rush of adrenaline as he pushed you made your heart speed at an insane race and the way he slammed you against the wall made you instantly wet. You feel your panties sticking as you kiss him back just as frantically. The best kiss you’ve ever had, you have to be honest, he’s really good.

You’re panting in his mouth, moaning as he insistently rub his hips on yours, you can feel his erection pushing against you.

Fuck, who would have expected it from the clumsy boy who tried to hook you up so awkwardly before?

You can taste the rum and cola he ordered on his tongue and a faint hint of cigarette mixed with the smell of clean laundry and something else, animalistic and sexy, probably his slightly sweaty skin.

His hands are roaming at your body, on your neck, over your shoulders, on your back as you arch into him searching for more friction, and then on your ass again giving another really nice squeeze.

It’s not the first time you’ve kissed someone on the dance floor and it probably won’t be the last but no one has ever made you this feral unless you were completely drunk. You can’t blame the alcohol tonight because you only had one drink, it’s him. He makes you dizzy.

“Wanna talk a little bit outside?” you ask him panting when he pulls away from you to catch his breath.

“Yeah, talk” he says mischievously “of course, let’s go talk”

You laugh, releasing yourself from his grip and tugging at his shirt as you move towards the exit.

He follows you immediately, putting his hand on your back as you walk out. Several people are smoking near the entrance, you pass by a couple of girls who are looking Joel up and down.

You turn the corner and find a fairly isolated spot. You can still hear the music, even if it’s muffled.

You're in the back of the place, he sits on a large wooden crate which likely contained alcohol or equipment and pulls you towards him, between his legs. You take his lips back into yours, lightly nibbling his lower lip and filling your hands with his broad back, caressing it, moving up to his neck.

There is nothing you want more than to feel his tongue dance with yours again, you push gently and he lets you in. You start kissing him greedily, just as much as he did before. His giggle vibrates on your lips “hey, weren’t we supposed to talk?” You laugh looking into his chocolate eyes “oh of course, let me explain better” and you kiss him again, enjoying the warmth of his body against yours.

He’s so damn good.

It's not very often that you instantly feel this good around a guy, much less feel as confident as you do now, but the adoring way he looks at you and his big strong arms wrapped around your body are comforting, they make you feel at ease.

The September air is cool and the place is surrounded by pine trees, you would almost be cold if it weren’t for Joel.

His hand moves to the front of your shorts, sliding it over the zipper and pressing into your crotch. You let out a moan.

“Can I?”

“Yes” you breathe, nodding.

You’re craving this.

He undoes the button and slides a hand inside, making room for himself past your underwear, sliding a finger between your folds.

“Soaked wet, huh?” he murmurs “fucking amazing”

His index and middle fingers move over your clit, rubbing and applying pressure as you bury your face in his neck, sinking your teeth into his flesh, gently, and then licking the part as you feel him twitch beneath you.

You whimper “Fuck, please don’t stop”

“I won’t baby, I’m going to make your little pussy screaming for me” He slides his two fingers into your opening while his thumb continues to work rapidly on your bundle of nerves.

He begins to pump into you, relentless and precise, curling into you, hitting your special spot, his fingers are thick and long and dig into you like they always have.

“You’re squeezing my fingers so good, keep going babe, keep going for me”

You’re bucking your hips into his palm, riding on the edge of your pleasure, trying desperately to not completely lose it because you would want that to last longer but you can’t, you’re literally gushing over his hand after a couple of minutes, he’s too good at it.

He lets you work off your orgasm as he holds you close and softly kisses the skin just below your ear.

“God, Joel…” you whisper.

“It’s okay baby, just let it washes over you… and by the way if we weren't out here right now I would have made you come on my tongue”

“Mmmm i would love to try sometimes” you smile softly at him, eyes still faded by your orgasm. And the thing is, you want more. You’re on his neck again, sucking and licking and you whisper on his skin. Things are heating up so much you feel like you have to tell him so you look into his eyes and just spit that out of your mouth “I’m not doing sex with strangers that I just met, I’m sorry”

For a moment, just a moment, losing yourself into his gaze, you think about reconsider your position.

“I swear to God, this damn dude” you think.

You feel your integrity wavering, just a little.

“Well, it’s not a problem, we can do other things” he says.

You raise an eyebrow, looking at him with a smirk “What would you have in mind, let's hear”

He kisses you again, licking into your mouth, holding you close to his body as he moves his hips against yours, he unzips his pants and awkwardly pulls them down with one hand, pulling his cock out of his boxers.

He takes your hand and puts it on top of it “could you uhm… touch it a little, maybe… if you like”

You feel your edges getting smoothed out, he just made you cry out of pleasure with his fingers and the least you can do is do something for him.

“Why not” you answer lasciviously “it can be done”

It’s big, much bigger than you expected, and it's rock hard. You wrap your hand around it and can barely hold it all. This guy also has one of the most beautiful cocks you've ever seen, it’s unbelievable. You run your thumb over the tip, spreading the precum that's already dripping down his length, and begin to stroke him.

You go up and down its shaft, stopping at the tip, lingering over it and you feel him twitching underneath your touch. “Yeah, baby, you’re so good at it” his voice is low and hoarse, his eyes darker than before, almost all pupils as you continue to work on his big fat cock.

Someone told you before that you’re pretty good at it and Joel seems to agree “Fuck, your hand feels amazing” you smirk feeling proud.

“I have an idea…” Joel whispers, “you could… uh fuck… maybe… use it” he stammers, and you look at him confused not understanding what he means “we already talked about this Joel and I have to admit you have a really magnificent cock but I'm not going to put it in”

“No of course…but you can uhm…wait I'll show you” he opens your shorts again and you get nervous

“What?” what is this guy going to do?

He pulls them down just enough to leave you in your underwear but holding them up for you so they don’t end up on the ground.

He gently takes your hand off his cock and takes it himself, holds it straight and brings you closer “you can keep your panties on, I swear nothing will happen that you don't want” and starts rubbing it on you, on your crack covered by the fabric of your underwear.

You whine “oh fuck” you’re seeing the point of it now and it’s unbelievably hot.

“Use it, babe. Use it to play with yourself” You don't wait long to take the lead, you pick it up again and rub it all over yourself to your heart's content, using its length all over you. Like a big dildo, but better, you can feel every vein throbbing, its heat and wetness through the thin fabric.

It’s almost overwhelming, using his hard shaft to get you off, you squirm as you insist on you clit, letting out moans that sound outrageously pornografic. And he’s getting on the edge too, you can feel it under your fingers and in his deep rasping whimpers that rise from the bottom of his throat.

How did you not think of that? It feels like the most satisfying dry humping you’ve ever done, and you’re a master at it. Your pillow and stuffy animals at home can confirm.

Reaching your peak you clench your jaw and try to stifle the sound of your orgasm, but a long slow moan still makes its way out of you.

“I’m almost there,” Joel whispers to you, his face flushed, his eyes glazed over, you sink a hand into his curls and pull away from him to make him come between your fingers.

His whole body is tense, his mouth agape, he squints his eyes, sticky white streams smear your palm and he comes, throwing his head back.

“Fuck, this was…God” he takes you back in his arms, still shaking as his pleasure run through his entire body.

As soon as he regain the ability to speak you hear his tempting voice whispering in your ear “you liked that, huh?”

“I…more than like it, I loved it” and his laugh vibrates on your neck.

One of your hands is wrapped around his neck while the other is suspended in the air with the mess he just made dripping between your fingers.

You shake it a little and lick the rest, slowly sliding your fingers into your mouth one at a time, running your tongue carefully over each one. He looks at you, mesmerized, “Oh shit, if you keep going like this I’m going to get hard again.”

You giggle and shrug “What am I supposed to do? Wet wipes are in my bag that remained inside”

He laugh “Well, You don't have sex with strangers but you're still cheeky, huh? Good, so uhm… My friends will probably be looking for me to go back home but…can I have your number?” He plead and you say yes, obviously yes.

He takes his phone out of his back pocket waving at you and you grab it, after you’ve fixed your fingers and your shorts, typing down your number. “You know I live 3 hours from here unfortunately but we can manage that I think” he says huskily and you nod.

Yes, you think, I can manage that for you.

It was all so good it felt unreal.

And you know something is actually off when he asks you “do you have a boyfriend?”

Why this question? And why now?

Of course not, you don't have a boyfriend otherwise you wouldn't be here.

It seemed more than obvious to you.

“No, I’m single” you reply, starting to feel really stupid.

And you know something unpleasant is about to materialize between you, a big elephant in a china shop.

You move away from him, scrutinizing his face, feeling a lump in your throat as you ask him with a shaking voice, “Why, you?”

“Oh yes, yes I have a girlfriend” he answers you candidly, as if it were the most normal thing in the world after having done those things with you. Maybe he is even convinced that he did not cheat on her because there was no penetration.

“Are you kidding me? Do you think it’s a brilliant idea to tell me now?” You are speechless.

It’s not like you promised each other something so this confession is unwanted, unnecessary and almost cruel because you were here to have fun and now you feel bad.

And there he stands, puppy dog ​​eyes wide open, like the most innocent person. You would love to slap him.

“It's nothing serious” he dares to say “and we have problems, I want to leave her” blablabla, the usual repertoire of excuses that you have heard a thousand times and that have been passed on to any of your friends.

“Yeah, like I’ve never heard it before… Whatever” You hiss.

“But it’s true, baby!” He whines. He fucking whines, trying to grab your arm “Come here”

“No, we’re done” you take steps back while telling him “go back to your girlfriend”

You can't even look him in the eye anymore "don't text me, okay? I can’t do this”

You feel so dumb and frustrated.

It could have ended there and you would have been fine, it would have been a nice memory.

A guy who made you come twice in a row, great. But then he asked for your number so you thought he could have been something more, like a friend with benefits? A date? Maybe even a boyfriend one day? You’re not one to commit with the first guy you meet but things between the two of you were so hot and steamy and maybe in a little space in your brain you got somehow hopeful about him, that he was someone you could trust.

You don't even understand why he told you that now, to make you feel like a bitch? He ruined everything.

“Yeah…ok” he murmur looking at the ground. He seems really sad, but fuck, too bad for him, you don’t give a damn.

You turn and stride back into the club, looking for your friends.

He follows you inside saying at your back “I’m sorry”

Oh no, you think, you’re not.

You find your friends who immediately notice that you are visibly upset “What happened” asks one of them, taking you to a corner. You look at her and say “Guess what?”

Your friend shrugs and lets out a sigh full of disdain “he has a girlfriend?”

“Fuck yes” you cuss.

Your friend hug you “honey, I’m sorry. Let’s go home, come on” You grab your things from behind the DJ booth and walk out of there. You don’t see Joel on the way out and at this point you don’t want to know where he is.

A couple of days later, you’re at the café having a coffee with your friends. It’s afternoon, it’s hot, and you’re sitting at the tables outside, under white big umbrellas, chatting. There’s a beautiful sun and a pleasant breeze, one of your friend is telling you about a very strange dream she had, and you’re all laughing when your phone vibrates on the table.

It's Joel. What a nerve this guy has.

“Fuck” you hiss and your friends immediately get nervous “what’s going on?”

You roll your eyes and reply “it’s Joel”

“Oh my god” your friend says “and what did he write?”

You click on the notification and read “Hi, I’m sorry about Saturday but I promise my girlfriend and I are over. Can I come visit you so we can talk?”

And you think, “Who can guarantee that? Who can tell me that you don’t have a foot in both camps? I don’t like that. I don’t want that”

Your friends tell you the exact same thing, you live in two different cities, you’ll never know if he really left her, this guy wants to play a double game. It’s always like this.

Fuck Joel.

“There’s nothing to talk about, don’t text me again, please”

Forget about him, you tell to yourself.

Yes, he’s handsome and he made you feel good but no guy will make you his lover. You deserve better and the other girl deserves better too. You don’t even know her but you feel sorry for her.

It’s that time of year again, you’re at the beach with your friends at one of your favorite resort’s beach parties.

You move through the hot, dancing crowd to reach the bar while the dj plays Rock & Roll Queen by the Subways.

You order shots of tequila, salt and lemon, take the salt holder and sprinkle some on the back of your hand just under your thumb along with your friends, you carefully take the lemon slice without dropping the salt and hold the glass in the other hand.

You lick the salt, down the shots in one gulp and pop the lemon in your mouth.

The tequila burns your throat but the lemon gives immediate relief and freshness.

It’s good, it’s all good, it’s your number 4 shots and at this point you’re starting to feel pleasantly drunk, your head is spinning a little and the pounding sound of the speakers makes you feel high but you're still fine, having fun as usual.

6 is your limit, after 6 you’re fucked up.Just another one, you think, and then I’ll stop.

You go back to the middle of the dance floor and hear the beginning of Killing in the name of by Rage Against the Machine. There’s something about this song that makes you feel like you can conquer the whole world, it’s inexplicable but it works every time.

You run to the DJ booth where there are two large, heavy wooden boxes on the sides and you climb onto one of them to dance.

It's kind of like a disco cube, but you're on the beach and if you look ahead you see a stretch of sand and the sea. The dance floor during the day is a basketball court.

A friend of yours climbs up with you while the others watch you from below laughing and dancing.

You sing at the top of your lungs as you dance on the cube and smile at your friends. They are always there for you and they are the closest friends you have.

Your girls are great, the best you could ask for.

You turn to the DJ making a heart with your hands laughing when he does it back to you. You never get bored at these parties and it's certainly also thanks to him and his playlists.

You get off the cube at the end of the song and approach the bar with the girls again.

The last shot is rum and it burns even more than tequila. They serve it with a small glass of pear juice on the side.

You dance some more until you tell your friends you're going away for a smoke.

You stand on the side of the dance floor sitting on a wall, feeling really tipsy but not completely drunk.

You love this place, you always did. It’s like a comforting ritual, coming here every friday night, dancing with your friends, having some drinks, sometimes even hooking up.

You can dress like the hell you want, you can avoid painful heels and stuff, no one has a bad thing to say, you can go dance on the sand barefoot, you can leave your stuff behind the DJ booth without fear of someone stealing it.

You really like dancing, it’s liberating and it’s so much fun.

You throw your cigarette on the ground and put it out under your shoe, then throw the butt in the bin near the entrance.

You head towards the bathrooms, greeting a girl you know, and get in line.

A couple next to you is making out and you think you'd like to do the same with someone.

Damn alcohol, it makes you stupid and horny.

You go into the bathroom and pee, wash your hands, fix your hair and go out. You're trying to get back to your friends when you feel a hand on your shoulder. You turn around and see a guy who reminds you of someone but you're tipsy, your vision feels a little blurry, maybe you're wrong.

“Hey pretty, would you like a drink?”

You know this voice, you've talked to this dude before. And suddenly you recognize him.

Oh shit.

It’s Joel.

You haven't seen him in a year, he hasn't written to you since you rejected him. You had him relegated to the corner of your brain where you never look, the one where you put unpleasant things to move on.

He’s still gorgeous, with slightly longer hair. He looks at you with a puzzled face because you haven’t said a word yet, probably he doesn’t remember you.

“Are you okay?” he asks. And you answer “yes. yes I’m fine. It’s just… My hair was a different color last year but…don’t you recognize me?”

He raises an eyebrow and looks you up and down. “No…and honestly I feel like a real idiot right now, you’re gorgeous”

It's unbelievable. He didn’t recognize you but he just tried to hit up on you again.

You tell him your name and his eyes widen and his mouth agape: “oh fuck. Oh fuck, it’s you”

“Yeah, here we go again”

He scratches the beard on his jaw “oh well… you’re always stunning” he says, and shrugs his shoulders, raising his arms as if to say “it’s not my fault”.

You don’t know whether to feel flattered or insulted. After all, if he tried again even without knowing it was you, you must really be his type.

Or maybe it's just a coincidence, he wanted someone and you just happened to be in his sights at the right time.

“So? Do you still have a girlfriend?” You ask, crossing your arm on your chest.

“Not anymore” he smirk and and you look at him full of suspicion, furrowing your brows “Is it the truth?”

“Yes, it is.” You’re still in doubt, you take a deep breath while he add “I swear!”

You roll your eyes.

You shouldn’t believe him and you know it. But he’s incredibly handsome and he seems to still want you and last year he kissed you in a way…and then you’re half drunk and that doesn’t help.

“So, do you want something to drink?” And you should just say no, I don’t want anything, turn on your heels and go back to your friends. But unexpectedly your mouth decides otherwise. He smiles smugly and you feel your knees weak. His beautiful brown eyes, you don’t even know how to argue with them as you watch him showing off his puppy look.

Damn Joel, and his eyes.

He puts his arm around your waist and leads you to the bar. You feel like you’re floating in a bubble of horniness.

Pathetic.

It’s the second time and you just lose the ability to say no to him. The way his hand grip around your side, so big and warm, the way he smells clean and minty and slightly citrusy, his luscious hair in which you just want to bury your fingers intertwined with his curls, his lips so plumped and soft that make you hungry…he’s too much and you’re too tipsy.

He orders a shot for you and you drink it, you slide it down your throat like it was nothing.

Joel drags you to the dance floor taking you in his arms, his body pressed against yours and his hands on your back, your hips move in sync as if you both had a muscle memory that had been dormant for a whole year and was immediately reawakened as soon as your bodies met again.

“God, baby, I want you so bad” he whispers in your ear, taking your lobe between his teeth and nibbling at it.

You shiver at the sensation, feeling your head empty and you body overflowing with desire.

“Would you like to take a walk on the beach?” He teases and you nod.

You push your way to the crowd and it’s like a deja-vu that hits you and leaves you numb, he holds you close to him as you walk down the wooden plank path lined with umbrellas and sun loungers that leads to the seashore.

You get halfway down the path when he stops and looks you in the eye “I’ve missed this” If you were completely lucid you’d think that was a bit of a stretch considering you’ve only seen each other once but right now you’re blinded and needy and incredibly horny for him.

He kisses you, lacing his lips with yours, insinuating his tongue into your mouth, feverishly searching for yours. He’s ravenous, just like you remembered him.

You both gasp and when you pull away you laugh softly looking at each other. There is indeed an inexplicable chemistry between the two of you, there is no denying it.

“Shall we sit down?” he murmurs and leads you to one of the loungers.

You continue to kiss as if you were drinking from each other's mouths in a desperate attempt to quench your thirst.

His lips are gorgeous, soft as a feather pillow, fiery as hell, they taste deliciously of tequila and strawberry syrup like the shot you just had.

The music and the crowd are far away, everything around is isolated and silent except for the sound of waves in the distance. The sand has crept into your shoes but you don't care. The sea breeze makes you shiver pleasantly in his arms, it’s all so confusing but beautiful. Joel makes you lie down next to him on the lounger.

You feel so good in his arm, all wrapped around you as he explores every inch of your exposed skin, fingertips a little bit calloused, thick just like you remembered.

The sound and the vibration of his groans into your mouth are so addictive and make you wet instantly.

So wet it’s almost embarrassing.

“I want…” he mumbles and you purr “what?”

“I want to eat you out, babe” he says in a breath

“Here?” Your eyes widen and you feel immediately alarmed. “What if someone see us?!”

“There’s not a soul here, they’re all at the party, no one will see us” he reassures you “If you don’t want it though…”

“Oh no, i want it” you nod repeatedly “I want it so bad” you tug at his shirt looking at him in his damn puppy eyes .

“Okay…” you whisper, still unsure but eager at the same time.

The lounger is is reclined, so it allows you to lean up to your back on the backrest, he lies on his stomach at the bottom of it, with his legs dangling out on either side.

He lifts your skirt and stares at your wet panties. “Still soaking wet for me,” he grins.

You should be ashamed of yourself for indulging in with this guy again? Probably, but it’s not like you give a damn right now. You only want to feel his tongue on your cunt. Playing with your clit.

So you smile, you giggle and let yourself sink into this mess.

He lowers on you leaving a kiss on the wet spot on your underwear and suddenly stick out his tongue to lick it. Just a little flick that leaves you needy and hot.

“Are you going to make me beg for it?” You ask impatiently, your arousal deepening your voice.

He laugh and shake his head “Would you like that?” There’s something a little bit too bold about him, a cocky undertone that you’re not bothered to address right now, you’re still yourself though and you’re not one to do so many ceremonies when it comes to sex.

So you reply “Oh shut up, use this tongue of yours to make me scream already”

He smirks and punctuates “Bossy, huh? I love it” and then he lowers over your pussy and licks again at your panties, a long lap this time, grazing lightly at your clit with his teeth. His eyes are still fixed on yours as his tongue moves over his lower lips, savoring the taste of your cunt “so fucking sweet, babe.”

He slides his fingers into the sides of your panties and slowly pulls them down as you lift your hips to help him.

“Fuck, baby, it’s even better than I thought… I can’ stop looking at her”

His fingers run up your thighs, brushing your skin, they get closer to your center without stopping to stare at it “I was right to want to eat you out last time. God, look at her…” and he runs a finger over your folds “perfect..so perfect.”

You can read eagerness and desire in his eyes, and it makes you feel even less inclined to wait, it’s been a while since anyone's done this to you, your toy is very efficient but you reluctantly have to admit that it's not like feeling a man between your thighs.

He finally presses his lips to your clit and you moan, moan loudly and Joel laughs “You horny little thing”

His tongue runs the entire length of your pussy, from bottom to top and stops again on your clit, swirling above it.

“Yes, oh my god YES”

You should try to be quieter but you can't, not when Joel has decided to devour you, opening your folds with two fingers and dipping his tongue inside you, his nose bumping against your clit giving you shocks of pleasure that shake your whole body.

You squirm and you feel his big hand grabbing your hip, holding you in place “be a good girl, let me do my job” he pulls away from you for just a moment and you can barely see him down there but you can feel every single motion so intensely, his scruffy beard deliciously scratching on your skin so clearly, your senses other than sight so incredibly amplified that you almost begin to appreciate being eat out in the dark, you don’t even care about being busted.

You should really stop walking on this dangerous path but the contrast between the fresh air and Joel's warm mouth is driving you crazy, you feel a ringing in your ears, a tingling sensation that envelops you, you want more.

“Mmm baby, I want to drink you all. I want to dig so deep into you you would think that no one will ever make you feel this good again”

There is an underlaying claim in his voice, a need to be praised and recognized, a need to know for sure that he’s doing the best you can ask for so you heap praise on him, burying a hand in his curls, pushing him into your pussy, bucking your hips regardless his large hand digging in your skin, probably leaving bruised that would be your honor badge tomorrow.

“You’re so fucking great, Joel OH. FUCK. Please don’t stop don’t stop dontstop” and your words die a little in your throat as you try to not fall into his rabbit hole, but it’s too late.

You’re there when he makes his way into you with two of his thick fingers, curling them up, reaching for that inner spot that makes you see stars, knuckles deep into you pumping your pleasure up. His lips close on your clit sucking it into his mouth.

His mouth is soft, experienced, licks and sucks on your butterfly wings in purposeful movements, attentive but relentless as a man starved.

You can feel your juice flowing through your folds, dripping on your thighs and Joel’s tongue searching for every drop of it, digging into your hole, flicking on your bud, caressing your outer lip, you feel like he’s everywhere on you and you’re just seconds away from exploding.

“Yeah baby, give it to me, let me see how wild you can be, let me know how gushed you can get”

Your head spins at the sounds of his words and it gets even worse when his hand moves to your breasts over your top and bra searching for your nipple, his fingertips brushing it while he continues to hold his mouth laced with your pussy.

You whine and tug at his hair, calling his name repeatedly like a litany as he circles around your clit again in sync with his fingers filling your hole and you lay down your metaphorical weapons and indulge in a devastating orgasm.

It washes over you like waves of a stormy sea, making you drown completely into that deep part of you that just wants to feel that exquisite filthy hurricane run over you.

He keeps drinking at you until your body calms down and your moans fade away little by little, giving you back the ability to breathe normally.

“Fuck” you gasp “Holy fucking fuck”

Joel laughs “Something tells me you liked it, don’t you?”

He helps you fixing your panties and comes back up next to you and brings his fingers coated in your juice to your lips, smearing it over them “lick them clean, baby, taste how sweet you are”

You welcome his fingers up to the knuckles, wrapping them with your tongue, sucking greedily “such a good girl for me”

When he makes them pop out of your lips, you move closer to him and hide your face in the warmth of his chest while his hand caresses your back.

You're not thinking about anything, not about your friends who will be looking for you nor about how you should have said no to all of this, your head is only full of what he just made you feel.

And you feel the need to return the favor, the burning desire to taste him like you didn't last time.

You move to the bottom of the lounger, sitting on your heels and letting him lean his back against the backrest like you did before.

“Now it’s my turn.” You coo

“Are you sure?”

“I’m 100% sure” you can glimpse a sparkle in his eyes even if it’s dark as you put your hand over the bulge in his denim cargo shorts “someone is going to have a treat tonight, I’m fucking good at it” you murmur as you rub it over the fabric and he gasps at your touch then smirking and saying “yeah? you think you can handle this in your mouth?”

“You bet I can” you reply, your voice playfully offended.

“Then show me how good you are, baby” he order in a hushed tone.

Your fingers play with the button of his shorts, undoing it an instant later and unzipping, putting them down to his knees as he helps you moving his hips hastily.

Your hand is on his bulge again, massaging through the fabric and you see him swallowing and trying to take a long breath and you can see his pearly white teeth in the dark framed by a his mouth tug into a smile. You lower his underwear as well, just enough to pull his cock out, hard and throbbing already. It’s even bigger than you remembered, the most amazing thick, long, straight shaft you’ve ever seen.

His balls are big too, they hang heavy underneath.

It should belong in an erotic museum or something, someone should produce dildos inspired by Joel's cock.

The prominent veins along its length make you salivate and its big, red, swollen tip immediately compels you to lick it, a little kitty lick just to taste his precum that is already dripping from him.

It’s salty and musky as invades your mouth, it makes you even more needy.

He’s silent, just trying not to lose it already you suppose, the anticipation could be cut with a knife right now, it floats in the air like a thick fog between you.

You wrap your lips around his tip, swirling around it with your tongue, and then you go down on him, more and more, taking all you can in your mouth, it’s heavy and hot and intoxicating, you can deny that you’re imagining how good it would be if he also fills your pussy afterwards. Your cunt throb wildly between you legs as it reaches the back of your throat and your nose bumps into his curls.

You feel tears stinging your eyes and you blink them back along with your gag reflex, wrapping your hand at the base and starting working your mouth over his cock a moment after. Your head goes graciously up and down, licking and sucking, focusing on the redden mushroom.

It might be intimidating for someone but not for you, you’re thrilled by the challenge.

He grunts and whines bucking his hips into you hissing “fuck yeah, suck it baby, just like that… you’re doing so good” his voice sounds like it comes from a cave, deep and raspy.

You take it out of your mouth holding it with your hand and go down to lick one of his balls, it’s a little bit too hairy for your liking but you won’t whine about it. You swirl your tongue around it, take it between your lips and suck, feeling him move beneath you. Run your tongue up from the base to the tip, rubbing it with your hand, up and down on his silky skin coated in your saliva.

You pop it out again and you hold it with both of your hands because it’s this long and big and you can rub the entire length this way, he writhes uncontrollably under your touch and you bite your lower lip, you’re loving making him so desperate. You can even hear it in his labored breathing and you can’t resist going down on his tip again, so red and swollen you could swear he’s about to spurt in your face if you’re not fast enough to get out of the way.

His voice is now so broken and distraught that he can pull off only a sequence of “fuck" and “OH MY GOD” and you’re feeling pride rise in your chest. Still fucking good at it, like you said.

You put it in your mouth again, sucking on it like the most amazing lollipop you’ve ever had and little streaks of saliva slip down your chin, pooling at his base.

You’re probably under a spell because no cock has ever felt so tasty in your mouth, you just can’t stop. And you don’t, until you feel him squirting long strings of semen onto the roof of your mouth and down your throat.

His moans fill your ears as his spending is filling your mouth and your clit ache terribly.

You suck him clean and he relaxes between your lips.

“Fuck, you weren't lying.” he whispers and you proudly reply “I told you so”

“Come here, you little slut” and you laugh ‘cause even this slur feels good. Fuck this guy.

You move in his arms again. You hide your face in the crook of his neck inhaling his scent and he says “Just give me a minute, we’re not done yet.”

You look at him, raising an eyebrow “Oh yeah?”

“As long as you let me fuck you” he says simply “it’s your choice, baby” and those words are enough to make you gushing in your panties again.

“Good job, mister, you asked very nicely” you coo and he smiles taking your lips again in a sweet gentle kiss that feels like heaven.

He’s crumbling your beliefs to not have sex with strangers. Well, technically, he’s not a total stranger and you’re never been so horny before.

The two of you kiss for a while until he asks you to straddle him. You pull his shorts down to his ankles so they’re out of the way and you do. You take his cock in your hand and feel it hardening again, his eyes fixed on you.

You smile mischievously at him as you pull your panties aside and begin to move down on him, keeping one hand at the base of his cock.

You're soaked but you still have to proceed slowly, inch by inch his shaft makes his way inside you, he grunts as he feels your walls widen for him, stretching your core.

He's trying hard to let you do it and not move his hips but you can feel his cock throbbing, it burns a little at first but quickly the sensation turns into a pleasant warmth.

“You’re good?” He asks and you instantly reply “Yes, yes, I feel so full”

“Right, so full of me, baby” he says huskily.

You take a deep breath as you begin to move on top of him, your clit rubbing against his bush, his hand squeezes your hip over your dress, his hand squeezes your hip over your dress, accompanying your thrusts “Yes, just like that, baby, keep going” He’s bucking his hips into you, sinking deeper and deeper into your pussy, you’re on the verge of losing your mind and you just lower your dress and bra and reveal your breasts, you grab his arm and put one of his hands on your breast “touch me” you beg him between moans “touch me, please”

“FUCK” he cuss as he grabs your tit and squeezes it, your nipples rubbing against his palm, you continue to ride him and feel your fluids slipping out of you, wetting your thighs and sliding over his skin.

You place your hand on him, moving it in circles with his, seeking more friction and he takes up the invitation, rubbing harder on your bud.

“You feel so good, so fucking good baby” he groans “go ahead, choke my cock”

You whimper, placing your hands on the lounger and leaning your back backwards while you fasten your pace.

He pushes into you relentlessly, you keep moving swinging your hips, you feel him slamming against your cervix just right in this position, again and again in lewd squelching sounds.

“I'm coming, I'm coming Joel,” you stammer.

“I feel it, I feel it baby, come for me, come all over my cock”

Your cunt clench around him, you feel delirious, totally cock drunk, and yet you can't help but place a hand on your clit, jerking it furiously “Oh my God yes- Fuck - yesyesyes” you’re a babbling mess and Joel too, neither of you are thinking anymore about the fact that you are out in the open and someone might see you, you’re loud and frantic and a moment later you’re gushing over his cock, your orgasm dripping all over him.

“Where do you want me?” he asks in a broken voice

“Inside”

“Are you sure?”

“Yes - FUCK - I'm on the pill” It's true, you started this year due to some period problems you had “Fill me up - just - fuck - fill me up, please” you mutter.

A couple more thrusts and he explodes inside you, painting your walls, squeezing your hips tightly, his fingers buried in your flesh.

He keeps thrusting into you until he’s calm and then slips out and takes you in him arm. You abandon your head against his chest, feeling his seed slowly trickling down and it’s a sensation you never experienced before, you’re not used to make guys come inside but Joel it just felt right. You don’t even feel drunk anymore, you’re drunk on him.

“God darling, that was so amazing,” he whispers as he kisses your hair and holds you tight.

And you smile. You smile like an idiot, a totally well pleased idiot though.

And just when you're thinking that nothing could ruin this moment you hear voices approaching from the seashore, you look at Joel with wide eyes and you dress faster than the light and run across the sand to return to the party. Was it someone returning from a night walk? The police? You'll never know. You stop as soon as you reach the end of the walkway, you look at each other and laugh out loud while you feel your heart beating like a drum in your chest.

“Fuck” you hiss under your breath “I hope they didn't see us!”

“Maybe they enjoyed the show” Joel says mischievously.

You are officially sober after the scare, you slap Joel's arm laughing and rolling your eyes "come on, mister exhibitionist, help me find my friends" You take his hand and you make your way towards the DJ console, where luckily you find the girls again. They all open their eyes wide when they see you come back with him but your smile this time tells them a different story.

They don't even ask you where you were and you rush to apologize for leaving without warning.

They look at each other, still suspicious and you can understand why, they love you and don't trust Joel. Joel for his part smiles at everyone and introduces himself, casual and self-confident as if they didn't know what happened last year.

You talk to them for a bit and you think he really knows his stuff because your friends seem a lot less nervous than before, in the meantime you see a boy with dark hair approaching, he has a mustache and a bit of a beard and features that resemble Joel's.

He taps Joel on the arm and exclaims "Hey! Where the fuck were you?"

Joel immediately turns to him and it's clear that he knows him "Hey Tommy! Um... actually, I was with her"

Tommy shifts his gaze to you and his big dark eyes scrutinize you carefully as he shakes your hand "Nice to meet you, Tommy, this idiot's brother"

Oh.

You didn't know he had a brother, he never told you about him. In your new state of sobriety you realize that you haven't talked about a damn thing.

You were so euphoric that you didn't think about it until now.

Tommy is slightly shorter but just as attractive, you smile warmly at him and he smiles back but then turns back to Joel “me and the others are going home, are you coming?”.

Joel sadly replies “yeah, sure, just give me a minute”.

He takes your hand and you move away from them a little, you look into his eyes and think that maybe you could think of getting lost in that look, despite your lack of faith in relationships and especially in men.

“I have to go” he says squeezing both your hands in his “do you think I can use your number this time?” He has such a sweet look that you can only say “yes, sure” and you kiss him again, feeling like you’re in one of those stupid romantic comedies.

“I’ll call you tomorrow,” Joel whispers when you break the kiss.

He smiles with his whole face, eyes crinkled at the edges and lips curved into a smirk. He’s so damn beautiful.

You walk back to Tommy and your friends and Joel says “we can go” turning back to you and smiling at you like you’re the most beautiful thing in the world. You feel your knees buckle and a tiny twinge in the corner of your heart at the thought that he lives 3 hours away and you don’t know when you’ll see him again. It doesn’t matter, you think, it’s worth it.

You and your friends grab your stuff behind the DJ booth, say goodbye, and head out to the parking lot. You know they're all waiting until you get to the car to pepper you with questions and giggles.

You feel like you're walking on a cloud.

The parking lot is pretty big and dark at this hour, you hear voices coming from some cars to the left and at first you don’t pay attention, then you clearly hear “Holy shit Joel!” and you stop.

It’s Tommy’s voice and from his tone he doesn’t seem happy.

You stay still without making any noise, hoping that the darkness will come to your aid.

“What do you plan on telling Tess when that girl calls you? Are you going to keep this a secret from her? Are you going to leave her?”

Your heart freezes.

No, not again.

“She’s been your girlfriend for three years, for Christ’s sake.”

You don’t hear Joel’s response, just Tommy screaming.

And you don’t care, he still has a girlfriend. Joel still has a girlfriend, even though he swore he’d dumped her.

You don't need to know anything else. You take your phone out of your bag, scroll through your contacts and block his number.

Your unaware friends have already reached the car and are putting their bags in the back seat. You reach them before they can call you out loud and slide into the back seat next to the bags, while they argue about who should sit in front you close your eyes and pretend to be asleep.

You don't have the strength to admit that you were wrong, you don't have the strength to see them sad for you.

Sometimes life doesn't go the way we want it to, you'll swallow this morsel too in the end. It's just more bitter than you expected.

You're not shaking, it's just a little bit of you that's gone.

[vodika-vibes]

Hey lovely!

I'm back for another request haha

Could I please request amethyst with Boss in Winter?

There's just something about Boss being courageous in everything he does that makes me think it would be a good fit!

❤️

Confession

Summary: You and Boss have been tiptoeing around each other for, what seems like, years. Something has to give, and early one winter morning, something does.

Pairing: Clone Commando Boss x Reader

Word Count: 733

Prompt: Amethyst - Courageous Love

Warnings: None

Tagging: @trixie2023 @n0vqni @imabeautifulbutterfly

A/N: I hope this is close to what you wanted! I love Boss so much, so I put a lot of myself into the reader, lol. Sorry. And I gave Boss some of my husband's mannerisms (like walking on the outside, closest to the road)

Months ago, when you were in the middle of an anxiety attack, Boss dragged you outside and took you for a walk. You didn’t walk anywhere, the pair of you just walked and talked. 

It was the start of an early morning habit, or perhaps tradition would be a better word.

Every morning, you and Boss will wake up and go for a walk while the sun rises. No matter the weather. Heat, cold, rain, shine. It doesn’t matter.

It’s become a much beloved part of your morning routine. It allows you to be the center of Boss’ attention for however long the pair of you decide to walk, it gets you some much needed exercise, and it allows you to get out of your own head for a bit.

Really, it’s no wonder that you fell in love with him, all things considered. No one’s ever been so conscientious towards you before.

Of course, he doesn’t know that.

You’re not quite brave enough to put yourself out there like that. Not even for him. But you are, slowly, working up the nerve.

Very slowly.

Like. At a snail’s pace.

In any event, when you wake up at your normal time one winter morning and see that there’s snow falling from the sky, you’re thrilled. You love the snow, how it coats everything in a blanket of soft white, how everything seems quieter and more muffled.

Snow makes everything seem a little more magical.

Maybe you’re a bit old to believe that, but you don’t care.

You can cling to this little bit of whimsy for a bit longer, right?

Quickly, to not keep Boss waiting longer than you have to, you dart around your room, pulling on thicker clothes and boots that are suitable for walking in the snow, and then you hurry out of your suite to where Boss always waits for you.

“Sorry, am I late?” You ask as you hurry to his side.

He looks amazing, dressed in casual winter clothes rather than the armor that he normally wears. Of course, he never wears his armor while going on these walks with you. 

“No, I only just arrived myself.” Boss allows as a small smile crosses his face. He reaches out and flicks the pom-pom on top of your hat, “Cute.”

“It’s my only winter hat,” You admit sheepishly, “My mom bought it for me.”

His smile widens slightly and he pushes open the door and steps to the side to let you out first, “It suits you.”

You step into the snow, throwing an amused smile over your shoulder, “You think so?”

“I know so. It’s a good color on you.”

“Thanks. I have a lot of siblings, so mom made it easy when we were born and chose a color for all of us. I was given teal.”

“Yeah? How many siblings?”

“Less than you,” You tease as you wait for Boss to fall into step next to you, before you head off the base.

“Everyone has fewer siblings than me.” Boss points out wryly, “I should hope, at least.”

You laugh, “I have less than 10 and more than 1.”

“That’s very specific,” Boss teases as he moves to your other side so that he’s walking closest to the road. 

“I try.” You tease right back.

Boss guides you into the park, towards the hiking trail that you both prefer, the conversation light and friendly. And then he stops in front of the fountain. It’s not running, because of the cold, but it’s still beautiful.

“I need to tell you something.”

“Okay?” You turn to face him properly, “Is something wrong?”

“No…and yes.” Boss takes your gloved hands in his, “I’m tired of us tiptoeing around each other.”

“You…what?”

“I love you. I want to date you. And I think you feel the same way.” Boss says, “Tell me that I’m wrong and I’ll never mention it again. We can continue on as we have been.”

“No, I-” You fumble over your words, “I feel the same way. I do!”

He smiles at you, and your heart skips a beat, “I knew you did. But it’s still nice to hear it.” He steps closer, one of his hands comes up to brush some snow off your cheek, “I’m going to kiss you now.”

And then his lips are against yours, and it’s everything you’ve ever wanted.

[ro-is-struggling]

Hello Hello & Congratulations

Recently gotten back into some Bucky feels & wanted to ask for him with lyric prompt 2 please! Made myself laugh with a friends to lovers idea where you're cooking for Sam & Buck & Sam slides a magnet into your back pocket cause obviously he's the best wingman (& tired of the pinning). Then I found comic panels with Buck & a little white cat & if that's Alpine!! & that first show prompt is open... Don't want to over ask but just know if it's down to the wire & no one asks for it...someone asked for it >.> Thanks for reading and stay hydrated!

Hi beautiful! Thank you so much for participating in the celebration and I’m so sorry it took me so long to post this! I LOVED this prompt and the little twist you gave it so much I wrote this in like a few hours. It’s short and sweet, I hope you like it💜💜💜

More Than Friends || Bucky Barnes x Reader

Summary: Sam is tired of always getting caught in the middle of the flirting and nervous glances you and Bucky subject him to every time you're in the same room, so he comes up with a plan to give you two the little push you so desperately need to confess your feelings —and laugh at you along the way.

Warnings: set somewhere after civil war where team cap is on the run together, mutual pining, friends to lovers, fluff, humor, Sam being tired of your shit 

English is not my first language

Word count: 2000

Notes: I'm pretty sure this one is gender neutral? but I wrote it with a fem reader in mind so I'll tag it like that just in case some description slipped my tired brain while editing

This fic is part of my 600 followers celeration

Sam was tired of watching you and Bucky dance around the feelings you two clearly had for each other. Sometimes he thought you were doing it on purpose, like some kind of elaborate prank to torture him as revenge for the times he made fun of you. It was the only logical explanation he could find for your attitude. Otherwise he didn't understand why you would continually refuse to face the obvious. You were in love and everyone seemed to see it but you.

Life on the run was torture when he was stuck with the two of you. Watching you two get flustered from being crammed in the back seat of the car, Sam really thought that maybe he should have taken the Clint and Scott route and made a deal with the authorities. Home detention sounded so much better compared to the heavy tension in the air that seemed to follow you everywhere. On particularly bad days - like that time a man flirted with you in a bar and Bucky was in a bad mood all day - even traditional jail seemed like paradise in comparison. 

Sam had tried everything to help you. He used to leave you alone on missions, put you in the same hotel room under the pretense that they had no more rooms, even made you sit together in the back of the car when you traveled. But despite all his efforts, you were no closer to facing your feelings than when he started. Even his subtle comments and pep talks didn't help. Every time he even dared to bring up your feelings, you acted confused and dismissed his words. He had tried it with Bucky and with you separately and you both had had almost the same response, which only proved Sam's point. 

The rest of the team was tired of you too, but since they didn't have to spend half as much time as he usually did stuck with you, they didn't care. Wanda would disappear from time to time to see Vision, and Steve and Natasha were usually together in their own little world, figuring out what the next step would be. Which left him stuck with Bucky, you and the unbearable tension in the air. That's why no one understood his suffering and therefore no one was willing to help him. 

Steve and Nat had told him that he should give you time, that eventually you would figure out your feelings and everything would get better. But Sam was beginning to think that would never happen. You had been dancing around each other since the day you met and showed no signs of changing. He had done everything he could to help you in subtle ways —talking to you privately or creating certain situations without your knowledge— all so as not to expose you and embarrass you, but apparently that was exactly what you needed, for something to expose your feelings and force you to confront them. And he had the perfect idea.

It came to him suddenly as he watched the two of you struggling to get comfortable in the back seat of the car. It was way too small a model, clearly not meant to comfortably transport a super soldier, so Bucky ended up taking up more than half the seat. Sam watched as he fiddled nervously with his hands, adjusting his position every five minutes to make sure his legs didn't accidentally brush yours. And as the sunlight beamed on his metal arm, Sam chuckled to himself at the thought that maybe next time he should give you pants made of magnets just to annoy Bucky. 

It was like a light switched on in his head. It was the perfect way to get back at you while helping you deal with your feelings. A hilarious idea all around that made Sam proud of his creativity. It wasn't hard to execute either, he just bought some magnets and waited for you to leave the bag with your belongings unattended to slip them into the back pocket of one of your pants. 

Not knowing when you would end up wearing said article of clothing added a layer of spontaneity to the situation. Even Sam had forgotten which pants he had chosen and when he saw you emerge from your room in the morning he didn't even realize his plan had been set in motion.

It was the first time in a long time that you hadn't slept in a crappy motel. Thanks to an old contact of Natasha's, you were able to stay in a safe house that had several rooms, good water pressure and a large kitchen. It wasn't the Avengers compound, but it was much better than the places you'd become accustomed to living. So, to celebrate you decided to prepare breakfast for the whole team.

You didn't let anyone help you, the very idea of someone else hanging around the kitchen while you worked on the pancakes made you anxious. You weren't a great cook by any means, but you found it easier and more relaxing to work when you had total control of the kitchen. So you sent everyone to wait elsewhere while you finished cooking. Steve opted to go out for his morning run and Natasha went back to bed, mumbling something about being woken up when there was food on the table. That left you with Sam, who settled down at the kitchen island with a glass of water to chat and keep you company. And not long after, Bucky popped his head through the door frame.

"Bucky! Just the guy I needed right now!" you said with a smile as you saw him enter the kitchen, dragging his feet as he rubbed his eyes to shake off the sleep. "Breakfast is almost ready, could you get the plates from the cabinet, please?"

Sam didn't think much of it, only that he would have to prepare himself for a morning of uncomfortable looks and flushed cheeks since you were in Bucky's way and to help you he would undoubtedly have to get closer to you than he seemed to be able to handle normally. Sam didn't remember his little joke until he felt the unexpected gasp you let out when Bucky's metal hand made contact with your backside as he reached behind you for the cabinet. He nearly choked on his water, laughter getting stuck in his throat as he watched Bucky panic, not understanding what had happened.

"I-I didn't... I mean, I'm sorry, I..." The super soldier tried hard to form a coherent sentence, but his mind was short-circuiting and his cheeks were turning a vivid shade of pink as he pulled his hand away from your body with difficulty. There was an inexplicable pull that drew him to you, making his metal arm move of its own accord, seeking to cling to you again. Bucky had to take a few steps back from you to make sure that didn't happen again. 

"Well, the cat is out of the bag. Finally!" Sam exclaimed with a mischievous grin that told Bucky everything he needed to know. "Although to be honest, I was hoping you'd find a more subtle way to confess your feelings, Buck. Or at least do it in private."

"You did this?" Bucky asked, though he already knew the answer. Sam simply let out a long laugh as he rose from his seat and disappeared out the kitchen door. "You're dead, Wilson!"

“What is he talking about?”

The sound of your voice snapped Bucky out of his angry state, his gaze softening as it settled on your confused expression. The urge to murder Sam faded as he panicked, searching for an answer to give you. This wasn't the way he would have liked to confess his feelings for you, but he couldn't lie to you either-Sam had made sure of that.

"I..." Bucky hesitated, having trouble finding the courage to tell you the truth. He could hardly remember when he had last been in that position of vulnerability, having to search for the right words to express feelings he didn't know how to describe. He was rusty, the skills and confidence that characterized his younger self had been buried in the past and now he had no idea what to say to you.

"Yes?" You spoke as he fell silent, looking up at him with glittering eyes waiting to hear that thing you'd been dreaming of since the moment you two met.

Bucky sighed, defeated. "I like you, doll, like more than just a friend." He said finally, cringing at his poor choice of words. "I'm sorry, I didn't mean for you to find out this way. It's just that Sam figured it out and has been pressuring me to talk to you about it and I guess he got tired of waiting and did all this to fuck with me."

Bucky was rambling, talking at a speed that was not normal for him. He was also having trouble making eye contact with you, his eyes looking at everything but you. You'd never seen him this... nervous. He was nervous. His cheeks turned a darker shade of pink with each passing second and he spoke so fast that his tongue threatened to get stuck halfway through each word. He was so adorable that you couldn't help but let out a giggle.

"I'm glad that he did." It took Bucky a few seconds to process your words, his flustered expression slowly morphing into a frown of confusion.

"What?" he muttered and you smiled. 

Reaching into your back pocket, you pulled the magnet out. It rested flat in the palm of your hand as you got closer to Bucky. In an instant, his metal hand was on top of yours, cold against the soft, warm skin. You intertwined your fingers with his, your smile widening as he copied your movements.

"I might have to thank him later because, you see, I kinda like you too. And I've been trying to do something about it for so long but I just couldn't, so Sam kinda saved me there cause I was starting to lose it." You let out a chuckle and Bucky joined you, completely understanding the sentiment.

The room fell silent, but it wasn't awkward or uncomfortable like other times. Although you could still feel the tension in the air as Brucky's gaze traveled from your eyes to your joined hands, lingering on your lips for longer than necessary. He took a step toward you and your breath caught in your throat, your insides vibrating with anticipation.

"Can I kiss you?" His voice was a soft whisper. His warm breath collided against the sensitive skin of your face as he rested his forehead on yours, looking up at you through his eyelashes with a hint of desperation. He was waiting for your consent, needing to hear it from your voice before proceeding.

"Please." It was all you could say before Bucky's lips crashed against yours.

It was a soft, slow kiss. Bucky's lips moved with torturous sensuality over yours, a gentle brush that barely satiated your need for him. But despite that, you let him guide the kiss to ensure his comfort. Bucky wasn't usually comfortable with physical contact —not after all he'd been through— and you knew this was a big step for him. So you embraced the softness of his kisses, quieting that voice in your mind that was screaming for you to grab his face and intensify it. It was tempting, yes, but you would have time for that.

Bucky didn't pull away from you immediately when you broke the kiss. He kept his forehead pressed against yours as his flesh hand traveled upward to caress your cheek. He looked at you with complete adoration, his fingers gently stroking your skin, as if he couldn't believe what was happening, as if he was afraid of being too rough and breaking the fantasy into a thousand pieces. Then he let out a chuckle and a smile broke out on your face as you heard such a sweet melody.

"What is it?"

"Nothing, is just that... Sam is never gonna let this go."

[doyouknowbtsswag]

Do You Remember? 2 |Chishiya|

Part 1

I am so sorry that this took long and seem rushed

"What happened in borderland?" He asked confused. "Wait no what is borderland?"

"I'm not sure how to explain it myself and honestly I'm still processing everything but you mostly know everybody you've passed for the past couple of days."

I looked at his face his eyes held confusion that burned right through my soul. I thought that if I could tell him crucial information everything would snap like turning on a light switch.

"I'll start by introducing myself since you never caught my name. It's (Y/n) (L/n)" I said looking at him dead in the eye. "We met at a hotel in Tokyo playing tag. That's where we first bumped into each other."

He raised an eyebrow when I said tag. I talked slower than usual so my words were heard carefully but not as if I was talking to a toddler or baby. He nodded so I could know if he was still listening.

"You were wearing a white windbreaker. You told me it was your favorite jacket you owned." I stopped to look at him. It made me cry inside seeing the confidence he had in borderland crumble to the ground. He gently tapped his finger on the table. "During tag, we had to run from a person wearing a horse mask with a gun and find the safety zone."

"A horse mask?"

"Let me finish" I put my hand up. "There were other people. A black-haired boy with a yellow and white shirt along with a light bluish jacket was the one who figured out how to find the safe zone. You helped him in the process along with another girl."

I pleaded hoping something would click. Maybe the beach? The prison? King of Spades? King of Spades? Cards. Cards!

"Wait actually." I looked around. "Stay here"

I got up forgetting about the IV I was connected to. The pole fell over making me stumble back and loud crash as I disconnected from it. I didn't care that it came out or caused some ruckus. I ran across the hall to the playing room for cards. I earned weird looks from other people but paid them no mind. I looked around to see if there were any cards around that wasn't uno. I finally saw a pack and grabbed it. I wasn't expecting to get a massive headache because of it but either way, I ran back to the table hoping he didn't run off.

"You stayed" I sighed in relief sitting down out of breath a little. I need to get back in shape soon.

"Cards? What's so important about cards?" He raised his eyebrow.

I looked through the cards to find the ones I needed specifically. Setting them aside from the rest. I held the King of Spades. One of the pivotal moments in the borderland between us both trying to save the other from the bullets. I placed it on the table in front of him.

"King of Spades. Shot people with an anti-tank rifle. You were the one who knew what type of rifle for some reason" I looked up at him. "You held my hand and we ran behind a car with three other people."

He hummed his tapping becoming faster as he stared at the card and he didn't look like he was gonna stop anytime soon.

"You pushed me in the car not going in because of a bomb. I walked miles to reunite with each other." He stared at the card lost in a trance.

I placed the Queen card down next to the King of Spades card so he could see it. He looked at the card staring intensely. He brushed his hands over the card's shaking at the new information he heard.

"The last time we were together we were both injured badly. We saw fireworks at the end and declined the offer to stay" I looked up a bit to avoid crying "Our final moments looked like a ending of a sad movie that  would leave everyone crying for days."

"Did I protect you?" He whispered looking back at me eyes watering a little "Till the end?"

"Every time" I smiled sadly.

"I feel like I'm going to pass out," He said shaking.

"Wait calm down" I put my hands on his shoulder and one under his head to avoid him slamming it against the hard table.

I called for a nurse and they took him back to his room. I followed and decided to wait till he woke up. The nurse scolded me for making the IV come out and reinserted it in my arm. I leaned back on the chair waiting for Chishiya to wake up. I tucked a piece of hair that was on his face.

"If only you knew the pain of falling back in love in another world." I sighed smiling sadly letting a small tear drop down my face. "I'm jealous that you don't remember so it wouldn't be painful but I'm mad at the same time. I hate crying in front of people but I guess you can't help it." I whispered in a bittersweet tone.

I pulled my hand away seeing his face scrunch up and he kept moving as if he was having a nightmare. I frowned I've only seen this once and that was after a close call in a game. I would love to hold his hand or run my fingers through his hair but he doesn't remember our relationship. All I could do was watch in agony. I went to leaning against the chair convincing the nurse to let me stay. After telling her I would sneak out anyway she agreed hesitantly and annoyed.

"Chishiya we can't stay around here anymore"

"What do we do we are separated from the rest"

"Don't just stand there let's go!"

"No you go ahead," He said pushing you in the car. "I'll meet you soon I promise"

"No no no you can't do this to me! We promised to be with each other!" You cried trying to open the car door to get out. "Let me go!"

"I'll be okay just trust me" He smiles looking at the (H/c) girl as the car drives away. "If I die I hope you forgive me"

—————-

"Chishiya?"

"( Y/n)?"

"I'm so glad you're okay"

"I thought you died"

"You should know I don't give up that easily." He grinned lazily.

"Nasty isn't it," The girl said.

"You gonna bleed out," He said panicking wincing himself as he moved.

"Hey hey" She stopped him from trying to push on my wound to stop the bleeding

"Stop," He said as he fought back.

"You're hurting yourself," The girl said finally getting his hands fully off of her holding them tightly. "You're injured too"

"I don't care you are more important to me," He said "I can't lose you and let you die"

"I'm always going to be by your side "

"I wish we met before all this so we'd have more time together"

"I can't help it"

"We'll get out of this and see each other again"

"Thank you"

——

He woke up in a cold sweat groaning as he held his head. He looked over at the card pack he brought to his room he then looked over and saw me sleeping on the armrest. He smiled lightly. Did his head hurt? Yeah. Did he care? No. He stood up putting a blanket on me from his bed.

"I'm sorry I forgot you" He whispered. "It won't happen again."

He sat on his bed he was supposed to leave today and hoped I would too. He thought about what he remembered. He hated seeing you hurt but enjoyed seeing you next to him. He thought about the random people he indeed see in his sleep. He watched the sunrise which started a new day. I woke up stretching accidentally hitting the pole. I looked at Chishiya expecting an unbothered look asking why I was here instead he smiled. Not his unbothered Cheshire smirk. A true smile that caught me off guard as I've only seen him smile like that twice.

"I remember us. I don't remember everything but I remember you" I teared up and hugged him. "Let's go out. Let's go see our memories"

"It's all destroyed how? No way they would let us through."

"Let's say I have some connections." He gave his sly smirk. "Trust me"

I will" I smiled. "I get released today."

"Me as well," He said standing up and getting into the habit of sticking his hands in his pockets once again.

"Yup, I don't need anymore according to the nurse."I smiled "I'm going to go back to my room wait here"

He nodded and watched me leave. I passed by people with whom I had big memories but never remembered their names. Once I made it to my room I grabbed my clothes and broken phone that couldn't be used again. I sighed annoyed that I needed to get a new one since I just bought this two months ago. I grabbed the other clothes they brought to me in a bag. I pressed the red button and waited for the nurse to clear me.

"Seems like you are eager to leave I heard you stayed in another room." The nurse said as she freed me from the IV.

She told me to sit down and I did she told me to follow her finger and put a light in my eye to make sure it was dilated right. She checked my reflexes which became perfectly fine. She looked in my ears and made me take a hearing test. She told me to walk in a straight line and one on my toes. She checked my heart and smiled.

"Well Ms. (L/N) you are free to go make sure to change your bandages two times a day with this cream," She said giving it to me. "Don't do any extreme movements until you are fully healed."

"Thank you so much," I said eagerly.

"Take these just in case you don't have any gauze"

"Thank you again."

"Have a nice day remember if you feel sick please contact us"

"I will you have a good yourself," I said waving goodbye as I walked to the front desk.

I saw Chishiya talking to the receptionist as he signed the paperwork. He looked over at me putting his hands in his pockets his sly smirk. I walked up to the desk.

"Name?" The receptionist asked.

"(Y/n) (L/n)" I said looking over at Chishiya.

"There's quite a bit of things to sign." Chishiya chuckled as I saw the stack of papers.

"Okay, but all I have to do is sign them right?" I asked nervously. "Nothing else?"

"Take home a statement paper and return within a month." He shrugged. "Oh and health insurance"

"I can't afford that," I said quietly as I finished signing the papers.

"Have a nice day" The receptionist said grabbing the small stack.

"You too," I said my eye twitching.

"Don't worry I'll help you" He casually said. "I'll do my best to lower it considering I could bypass the files since I know how to."

"Isn't that illegal?" I raised my eyebrow.

"Maybe"

"Don't get yourself arrested over me"

"I won't"

"Anyways where should we go first?" I asked.

"You know more than me"

"To the destroyed hotel it is," I said starting to walk there. "How exactly are we getting in?"

"Close colleague," He said again as we started walking to our destination.

We walked side by side our hands brushing each other as we grew closer and closer. We stopped in front of yellow caution tape. He looked around saw the cost is clear and went underneath it.

"What are you doing" I whispered.

"Come on we'll be in and out," He said waiting for me to go under.

"We better not get arrested," I said sternly.

"We won't" He simply shrugged. "Lead the way"

"Fine just make sure no one see's us"

"I will"

I sighed losing track of how many times I have sighed. I looked around looking at the damage that was made.

"It looks unrecognizable," I said looking for the hotel. "There" I pointed.

"This is where we met," I said

"I was upstairs" He recalled the memory.

"Too bad we can't get inside"

"Yeah might be for the best though"

"Maybe," I said looking around. "Wanna move on?"

"Yeah"

"This road will forever haunt me," I said walking in front of the intersection.

"I'm just glad we all ended up living"

"I'm glad you did," said rolling my eyes. "You trying to act like a hero was scary"

"I still survived"

"Luckily," I said staring ahead.

"It's over now"

"I know but I'm still mad at you," I said jokingly.

"Oh well" He shrugged smiling a little.

"When are you heading back to work?" I asked looking around.

"To be honest I wouldn't be surprised if I go back next week" He sighed. "Especially since the hospital is packed"

"Isn't that too soon?" I asked.

"They don't care"

"Guess it just shows how important you are," I said trying to cheer him up.

"Guess so" He chuckles and stops.

"What's wrong?" I asked stopping with him.

"Let's find everyone that was close to us," He said.

"That would be amazing to hang out with them rather than strictly focusing on surviving." I smiled.

"Also" He looked away.

"Also what?" I replied confused.

"Let's give us a try"

"What do you mean?"

"Let's be together here" He grabbed my hands looking at me. "In the real world"

"I like that," I said tearing up. "I thought you'd never ask"

"I'll never break any more promises"

"You better not," I said gently hitting his shoulder.

"I love you" He smiled.

"I love you too," I said back as the sun started to set giving me closure.

He leaned down and kissed me. It felt nice I could feel the sincerity and happiness. The sun felt nice as it slowly started to set the golden hour making Chishiya's face glow showing his perfect face.

[finn-m-corvex]

Whumptober 2023 Day 1 - "How many fingers am I holding up?"

Hello everyone, and welcome to Finn's Whumptober! This is the first of the past fifteen days to come out, and the other fourteen will be releasing every hour on the hour! I've put an incredible amount of work into making these (the first batch is like. 30k words alone-) so if you guys have been craving some of my content, here you go! You're getting plenty nowadays!

GENERAL TWS FOR THE ENTIRETY OF MY STORIES: blood, vomit, beatings, assault, bullying, kinda gorey at some points, other stuff just be careful. I'll go back through and tag each individually if I need to!

Since I'm scheduling these, I won't have the opportunity to add anyone but @splinnters to the tag list, but there's going to be so many of them that I feel like it's going to be easy to find. Hope you enjoy reading all of these as much as I enjoyed writing them!

Words: 2.1k

Jay was bored.

Who knew working a party could be so mind-numbingly boring? The point of parties was to let loose and have fun, and yet here he was, stuck in a dumb stuffy suit in the corner only watching as everyone got more and more drunk off their asses. He sipped at his disappointedly non-alcoholic punch, pretending like he was keeping a careful eye over the rest of the patrons as they danced.

Getting called to watch Cyrus Borg’s work functions was one of the worst things to happen to him in recent times.

“Check in, everyone,” Lloyd said over the comm, and Jay tapped his foot against the ground as he waited for everyone else to sound off. Cole was standing on the entire other side of the room, and Jay had long since given up trying to hold a mime’s version of a conversation with his brother when the earth ninja only gave him an unimpressed stare after the first gesture. At least he was stuck in here with his best friend rather than Kai or Zane; knowing them, he would’ve gotten a full lecture rather than just a look.

A crackle, and then his beautiful Yang’s angelic voice. “Kai and I are clear.”

Part of Jay wanted to chime in and talk to her with a casual conversation about guest gossip, but he had already gotten in enough trouble tonight; he couldn’t start pushing it.

Zane and Pixal both spoke, and then it was Cole’s turn. “Jay and I are clear, although someone needs to start laying off the punch. He’s already almost spilled on himself more than once.”

“Hey!” Jay exclaimed, but he still kept it down so no one would start listening in. It pleased him immensely to hear Nya giggle over the comm, and it took every bit of self-restraint to keep from playing up the act. “I’m doing just fine, thank you very much.”

“Sure you are, bro,” Cole rolled his eyes across the room, and Jay felt his power start to flicker under his skin in frustration. Pushing the lightning down, Jay huffed, checking in with Lloyd before going back to his self-assigned duty of people-watching. At least he had a nice spot next to the punch table.

It wasn’t very long before someone bumped into him, causing his drink to slosh around and over the rim of his glass. Jay turned to face whoever it was, ready to give them a piece of his mind for almost getting punch on his nice shoes (seriously, they were brand-new!), but he stopped when he remembered that these people were all civillians and he did have to at least make an effort to be nice.

Unfortunately.

“I’m so sorry about that,” the stranger said, flashing his pearly whites and readjusting his cuffs. Jay’s danger sense was going off, and he resisted every urge in his body that was screaming for him to run far away from here. This was just a normal guy, so why was he feeling like this?

“Don’t worry about it, no harm done,” Jay chuckled, masking his discomfort with ease. It was one of his most used skills, especially in social situations.

“Surely you wouldn’t mind if I just got you another glass? Anything for a great hero of Ninjago!”

Never accept drinks from strangers, dear, he could hear his Ma say, and Jay always heeded the advice his mother gave him after the Underwear Incident.

He shook his head. “No thank you, don’t worry about it. Go enjoy the festivities, please, I insist.”

A rather cold goodbye for the sociable lightning ninja; Jay hoped that no one else would notice so it wouldn’t end up on the media. What a mess to clean up that would be, and the others already made enough messes online. The man huffed as if Jay had personally offended him, stalking off into the crowd where Jay’s eyes couldn’t be bothered to follow him. Frowning, Jay took another sip of his drink, only to bring it away from his mouth in confusion.

Why did it taste different?

Must be my lightning, Jay thought to himself as he drank it, noticing the previously sweet taste switching to salty. His lightning tended to change his taste buds whenever he suppressed it, just another little quirk of having powers, so this was just another case of that happening.

It definitely wasn’t the case fifteen minutes later.

Jay kept getting dizzier and dizzier as time passed, leaning back on the pillar and relying on it to keep him stable. Everything around him was spinning, the low lights blurring into vague patterns and swirling around on the floor at a speed that he couldn’t comprehend. He could feel the sweat gathering on the back of his neck, hot and sticking to his shirt collar. There were nails being driven into his temples, and he winced as the crowd suddenly cheered when Cyrus Borg came out on the other side of the room to start his speech. Pixal and Zane were on the stage with him, and Jay had to keep himself from screaming as the spotlights followed the three as they walked.

Up until now, he had hesitated everytime his hand went to his comm; he had already pissed Cole off once or twice, he shouldn’t say anything unless it was an absolute emergency.

His vision blacked out for a second, and Jay was suddenly hyperaware of everything happening around him. This wasn’t normal; this was an emergency.

“Cole,” Jay said, swallowing back the spit in his mouth that threatened to spill down his lips. Why couldn’t he feel his lips? Why did his throat feel like it was clogging up with something?

Reaching up with an arm, his brother looked quite bored. “What is it now, Jay?”

“Something’s wrong.”

Jay must’ve forgotten to switch to their private channel, because Lloyd’s voice came through the tinny speaker. “Jay, what’s wrong?”

“I-I’m dizzy,” Jay couldn’t keep himself from stuttering, and he started panicking as his knee gave out from under him. What the hell was in his drink?

Starting to push through the crowd, he could barely pick Cole out from the crowd, only hearing the earth ninja’s voice through his earpiece. “Jay, Jay did you drink something-”

And Jay was crashing to the floor.

Head smacking against the ground, Jay was coughing up spit, reeling from the loud gasp that surged through the crowd at the sight of one of the Ninja collapsing. Even though this was far from the first time that he had hit his head, he still found himself dizzier than before, struggling to ground himself in the forest of suit pants and dresses that he was stuck in. His hands were shaking as they tried to push him up, and he cried out as his elbows stopped working and his head hit the ground again.

Why couldn’t he feel his legs? Panic swarmed through his chest as he tried to wiggle his toes, but he couldn’t tell if it was working.

First Master, he was drugged.

“Move!” he heard two voices at once; one voice in the earpiece and the other through the ear not smushed against the tile. “Move out of the way!”

Other voices were clammering around him, and Jay would’ve yelled for them all to shut up if his tongue didn’t feel like it was a piece of cotton stuffed into his mouth. He was pretty sure he was drooling all on the floor, and he could feel the excess dribbling down his chin when rough hands pulled him upright.

There was Cole, face pinched in worry and hurriedly speaking into his comm. “I have him, he just collapsed and I don’t know why. Shut down the exits and get Borg out of here-”

Jay had to stop listening as the spotlights focused directly into his eyes, and he slammed his eyelids shut as if that were going to do anything. Cole was quick to block out the light, but the damage had been done; Jay leaned to the side and vomited, red punch spurting from his lips along with the small finger sandwiches that he had chowed down on earlier. Some of it landed on some poor patron’s shoes, and Jay opened his mouth to apologize only to upchuck more of his guts. His stomach heaved under the weight of his anxiety, feeling the voices around him change to a disgusted pitch, and the feeling of knowing that all of these strangers were seeing one of their protectors collapse and throw up like some drunkard made him flush with shame.

Something hauled him up from under the armpits, and suddenly he was on the move. Cole was taking him somewhere.

“Can’t take you anywhere without shit hitting the fan,” Cole grumbled, and Jay could feel the tears stinging at his eyes in protest. He didn’t mean for this to happen!

But was it his fault anyway? Could he have done anything to stop the man?

He was sat on some cheap chair a few hallways down, and Jay couldn’t move his arms or legs to try and readjust himself, the numbness spreading from his chest outwards. Cole pressed a warm hand to Jay’s forehead, feeling his cheeks and the back of his neck.

Jay felt so ashamed when he couldn’t stop the tears from rolling down his cheeks. “Cole, Cole-”

“What happened, Jay?” Cole asked, a serious expression on his face. He reached up to start thumbing away the tears. “Are you drunk? I promise you aren’t in trouble if you are, things happen.”

He shook his head as best as he could. “No, someone spiked it.”

Mouth agape, Cole clicked it shut, fury overtaking his features. “Who. The. Fuck. Spiked your drink?”

“A guy, he ran into me and must’ve put it in my punch,” Jay let out a small sob as the spinning room sped up. “I-I’m so sorry.”

“The only thing you have to be sorry for is not telling me sooner,” Cole stressed, cupping his brother’s cheek when Jay’s head lulled to the side. “First Master, is this why you were so fidgety? I knew something was wrong; I’m the one who should be saying sorry to you.”

Shaking his head, Jay felt the shame swell up even further. “It’s not your fault-”

“No, but I’m still your brother, and I should’ve checked in the moment I thought something was wrong.” Cole clicked his tongue, thumb brushing against Jay’s jaw in a way that had his heart aching. “I gotta check how bad it is, bluebell. How many fingers am I holding up?”

If Jay was being completely honest, it looked like twelve, so that’s exactly what he said. Cole’s worried face was not reassuring in the slightest.

Nya’s voice flowed into his ear, and Jay sobbed. He wanted her, he wanted her so bad. “Jay, honey, I need you to talk to me. What’s wrong?”

“Some asshat spiked his drink,” Cole said briskly, shrugging off his suit jacket and draping it over Jay after seeing how hard the blue ninja was shaking. “He’s still conscious, but I don’t think he’s moving anytime soon. We’re in the hallway off to the left of the main room.”

Finally, the severity of the situation hit Jay: he had been drugged. Someone had deliberately sought him out and messed with his drink with ill intentions that Jay could only dream of, even though those dreams would actually be nightmares.

The thought of what could’ve happened if Cole hadn’t seen him go down made him sick to his stomach.

“I’ll be right there,” and Jay felt his lip start to wobble as the sobs rushed up his throat, because he wanted Nya here now and he was scared and he was too cold but too hot at the same time and he couldn’t move and Cole was mad at him and why was his vision tunneling and oh shit was it always this hard to breathe-

A hand tangled itself in his hair, gently freeing it from its prison of hair products as Jay gasped for air. “Stay with me, Bluejay. Nya’s on her way and then we’re getting you out of here. You’re gonna go home and we’re going to spoil you rotten, okay?”

His hands scrambled for something to hang onto, his fingertips unfeeling, and Cole was quick to put his other warm hand into Jay’s as he readjusted the makeshift blanket over Jay’s form. It wasn’t nearly as good as a shock blanket would’ve been but beggars can’t be choosers. Jay forced his body forward, landing clumsily on Cole’s chest as the earth ninja quickly compensated for the extra weight. “I want Nya.”

There was yelling from the main room that made it hard for Jay to hear what Cole was saying. “I know buddy, she’ll be here soon. I’m going to hold you just like this for a little while, okay?”

“Okay,” Jay whispered, feeling the tears start to soak into his brother’s suit, and First Master he hoped it was going to be okay.