#sorry for only using steven as an example but honestly what did you expect from ME.

[nomoretumbler]

i need to share this here because none of the videos reach 1000 views (and theyre also from 5 months ago, so pretty new).

this playlist has all the wordgirl shorts in 360p instead of 240p! this is the highest quality available i think (because they do exists in an even higher quality thats a hill i will die on).

heres a quick comparison between the most popular videos and this ones (click for full quality).

also!!! the mouse trap short doesnt have crunchy audio!!! and it doesn’t have a kinemaster watermark!!! YAY!!!

[eerythingisshaka]

Check Up

[Doctor!Erik “Killmonger” Stevens x Reader]

Word Count: 3.5k

Warnings: A light filth

A/N:  I was in the Vagina Monologues at my college and there’s one skit/story about a vagina workshop that inspired this one.  Enjoy

Your leg bounces up and down anxiously as you sit waiting for your name to be called.  You made sure to arrive extra early to account for a crowd or forms to fill out asking all the standard, invasive questions that any health facility is required to know.  This visit was particularly nerve wrecking considering your friend’s referral to come.  

One night during a girls hangout, wine and tea was spilled while discussing your personal lives.  Your one friend from high school griped about how yet another Tinder date didn’t live up to their profile and couldn’t hold his own in the bedroom later to add insult to injury.  Your other friend from college  was a little more mum about her escapades and turned out it was for a reason you weren’t expecting.

“We decided to open up our marriage.”  She says.  

You both gasp involuntarily before bargaining for more information.

“Are you guys not happy?  Whose idea was it?  It’s only been three years!”  You exclaim.

She sniffs her wine glass while taking a deep breath.  “All valid questions and comments  but it was my idea.  In a small way, I’ve always been polyamorous.”

“I thought you were just a cheater but…”  Your high school friend mutters.

“Get outta here!  Those were misunderstandings of love.  I enjoy the company of every partner I come across but I haven’t found the one that could be my anchor as I continue to love freely.”

“So he is really ok with this?  With other men?”  You ask as slow as possible to get your point across.

“Yup!  Luckily he is not gross to think one sex is ok over another.  It’s all the same whether I liked men or women but my heart is his always.  And honestly, it’s been hot ever since we just talked about it.  Like we just got a jump start!”  

“Hell, I need a jump start.  I wish I could make an appointment to my vagina workshop but I ain’t had the time.”

“The hell is that?”  You whip around to your high school friend intrigued.

“It’s got some official title, but at the clinic on Grand, they have some workshop that teaches you how your vagina works and the BEST thing of all, how to achieve orgasm.  Now when I went there some lady just told me where to find and touch and how to relax but I heard some big fella up there now is helping out and chile, if he was there when I went, my next stop woulda been the OB!”

Your college friend fans herself.  “So wait wait wait.  A fine man doctor teaching me how my pussy works?  Why haven’t you told us before?!”

“I said he wasn’t there when I was!  Plus this was before I was told you married with an asterisk.  Emphasis on the risk.”

“On Grand you say?”  You pull out your phone to Google.

“Mhm, that’s right.  Cuz if anybody needs it, it’s you.  How long has it been since you even went out with somebody?  I have tried to set you up, make a dating profile for you, wingwoman a guy at the bar, with no results!”

You shrug.  “Sounds like your problem.  But ummmm listen.  I do wanna check this out, but no way am I letting a stranger touch me like that.  I just want pointers-”

“And a story to tell us afterwards, ok?!”  College friend cackles along with high school friend.  You roll your eyes looking over the website, praying they take your insurance.  No mention of a fine ass doctor but hopefully fate worked in your favor.

Which brings you to where you are today: in a lobby with about 4-5 women looking at their phones or a magazine preparing for their treatments.  

“Come on back!”  The joyful nurse says, holding the door open for you.  You snap back to reality as the white walls are almost blinding against the lighting as you are led to a room with a 4 above the door.

“You can have a seat while I get you settled.”  

You sit on the examination table as she signs on to her computer and asks you general questions.  What brings you here?  When was your last cycle?  Have you had issues with this?  Pain during that?

“I’m really just here for informational purposes more than anything.  I would like to know more about myself but I haven’t had problems.”

“Ok.  And when was your last sexual experience?”  She asks as she types.

“Including myself or…”  You ask.

“Not including yourself.”  She says with a reassuring smile.  

You think and start to feel hot with embarrassment.  “It’s definitely been over a year…”  Or five more like it.

“Ok, that’s fine.  And have you had issues achieving orgasm with a partner or by yourself?”

You mull it over.  “Not...necessarily.  It has been a while since I could lately, but I have been busy with work too, so…” 

“Ok, that is up to you to bring it up with Doctor Stevens when he sees you.  But that is the end of my questions so at this time we have a gown over there if you would like to disrobe.  We offer an examination or a self examination if you so choose.  Unless you request otherwise, it will be mainly superficial and informational so don’t expect a pelvic exam or anything like that, ok?”

You nod, thanking her as she steps out, closing the door behind her.  The room felt more cold and quiet now that you are alone, but you waste no time in getting undressed.  Your worst nightmare is to take your time and accidentally be walked in on.  

The gown is clean but lacks in softness, plus your ass was hanging out  no matter how tight you tied the strings around you.  The paper separating your skin from the exam seat crinkles loudly as you fidget, looking over the posters of the female reproductive system and molds of various vaginas.

One catches your eye that is see through, showing the depth of the canal.  You can’t help but get your phone out and take a picture.  You text it to the group chat and start to search for a good meme reaction when a rapid knock startles you.

“Good afternoon, Ms.- OH!”  

The deep voice behind you makes you drop your phone and it is not until you bend over to pick it up that you realize your ass is not covered in that gown.  You spin around, backing up to the wall to pick it up.

“Sorry!  I didn’t mean to barge in like that.”  He says, face covered by a clipboard.

You put your phone in your bag and tiptoe back onto the table, cursing yourself out for embarrassing yourself.

“It’s fine, really it was all me.  I shoulda stayed my ass seated.”

He pulls down the clipboard, giving a meek smile.  “Frankly, it’s not the first time it happened.  Shame on me.”  

You feel your breath leave your body a split second when you finally see the man that got your friends so ready to come back.  He did not look like the type to even be interested in medical school, but you thank God prejudices are not facts.  He was the most beautiful doctor you had ever been seen by and so modern looking, with his short locs bound in a mini ponytail to the back of his head, and the sides shaved.  His eyes were so youthful they made you feel silly to stare and despite his small smile, his dimples announced themselves proudly.

“Well, isn’t it, ‘fool me twice, shame on you?’”  You respond, pulling your gown down and sitting up straighter.

This made him smile wider, and you thanked God generously.  “I never blame a patient.  It might be a HIPAA thing, but I might be making that up too.”

He pulls up a stool and sits down, checking over the notes on the clipboard.  “Now, as I started to say...what brings you in?”

Your mouth began to feel dry.  This was easier to discuss before, but you really don’t want to go deep into your personal life with him now.  “I just...uh, wanted information on the body.  You know, the female parts and what I may not know.”

He nods, looking back to you.  “It says you have had trouble achieving orgasm lately?”

“WOW!  I did not-”

“It’s ok!”  he says, graciously interrupting.  “That’s what a lot of people are here for.  You aren’t alone.”

You cover your face.  “This is embarrassing, why did I even come here.”

“Look, I don’t want you to be uncomfortable.  I won’t ask you or bring up anything you don’t want to discuss.  But I am here to help, so let’s make the most of our time here.”

You look at him again, seeing the sincerity on his face.  A face like his can’t be completely trusted around any hot blooded woman but he is a doctor.

“Let’s start from the basics.”  Dr. Stevens pulls one of the example molds from the counter and places it in front of him, facing you.  

“Now a lot of people call all of this the vagina, but in actuality it is called the vulva.  That includes the labia minora, labia majora, urethra and clitoris.  Only when discussing your vaginal opening and inward, is it actually the vagina.”

“Ohhh, really?”  You ask, leaning in for a closer look.  He nods, smiling at your perceived interest.  “Now where is the urethra on here…”

He points to a tiny hole that you couldn’t have found with the CIA on your side.  

“I figured it was somewhere there, but you know I didn’t know there were three holes until an episode of Oprah told me when I was a teenager?”

“I have heard that before.  It’s unfortunate how many women don’t know about their own bodies when they own them, right?  But curriculums aren’t set up to teach it without thinking they are sexualizing things to kids.”

“But it’s not!  It’s their bodies, they have those things so they should know!”

He raises a hand up to you and you smack it without thinking.  The loud clap between you both sends a shock beneath you.  The doctor’s charm was bringing you out of your shell little by little.

“Right.  The best way of learning is demonstrative.  They gotta see what you’re talking about to get it.  Now I’m going to bring back what we spoke about earlier…”  He points to a higher area of the vulva.  “On here, the clitoris is here.  It’s fairly easy to spot, it’s not hidden and that’s just to make it easier for a teacher to show.  But not everyone is like this.”

“I know where mine is, so that’s fine.” 

“However…”  

You roll your eyes.  “Sure, it’s like your little paper says.  I can’t always get what I want from it.”

Dr. Stevens nods understandingly.  “Ok, that’s common.  Now one offer we have is an examination.  I won’t have to do anything but observe.”  

He stands up to reach underneath the side of the exam chair you’re sitting on to pull out a mirror on an extendable arm.  “You would just view yourself here and if you have questions along the way, I’ll answer them.”

You puff your cheeks to get rid of nerves, sitting back slightly as the paper crinkles and crackles.  

“I’ve been examined before.  Not my first rodeo, so let's do this.”   

A part of you couldn’t help but feel curious about what he may have to say about your parts as you hike your gown up.  He pulls out two mini stirrups to rest your feet on as you spread your legs apart.  Dr. Stevens stands next to you, adjusting the mirror to get the best visual of your vulva for you.

“Huh.”  You say.

“What’s up?”   He asks.

“Mine looks nothing like the diagram.”  You take your hand to pull apart your lips some. 

“What do you notice is different?”  He asks.

“A lot,” you say with a tone of defeat.  Why does every vagina depict this pink flower with symmetrical lips that barely overflow and a ready clitoris that probably distracts if you had to ride a bike.

Dr. Stevens stands beside you, hands behind his back, peering politely from you to the mirror reflection.  “What specifically?”

You exhale deeply.  “Right out the gate, the color is nothing like the rappers be talking about.  Pink pussy this and that.  It looks kind of like if you had grape bubblicious and once the flavor is gone and you toss it?  Yeah….”  You pull your inner lips to the side with your middle and ring finger.  “And my urethra is there huh?”

He nods, adjusting the mirror for shared benefit.  “Exactly right in the middle.  It’s kind of small so not surprising that you wouldn’t notice.”

“Interesting.”  You feel a sense of discovery within you as you actually learn a thing or two from this exercise.  Looking back at the model vagina on the counter, you think of a new question.

“Ok, so the clitoris right?  Why is it so difficult for me to get to it?”

Dr. Stevens crosses his arms.  “Well, you might be affected by the clitoral hood.  It helps to protect it but can be bothersome during arousal.  So depending on what position you are in, it may take some maneuvering.  Try moving it back now; take two fingers on either side and pull back.”

You do as instructed, feeling a sensation hit your exposed skin until you see the little pearl looking button that must be it.  Your finger grazes it, making your legs jerk unexpectedly.

“Whoa, ok, haha.  That’s it.”  You laugh sheepishly, pulling your legs closer together.

He places a hand on your back encouragingly.  “That’s ok!  Honestly, it's best to make sure you also have feeling.  Don’t be shy to try.”

You open your knees again and gently feel around for your clitoris again.  You can tell you’re close but the feeling is not as intense.  Embarrassment starts to affect you as you notice your concentrated expression is not at all sexy and what woman doesn’t know where to stimulate themselves.

Dr. Stevens notices the trouble, stepping away from you to get a pair of gloves, latex popping against his skin.

“It looks like you are rubbing yourself through your clitoral hood, which can be fine but I think for what issue you’re having, you would want as much surface area pleasure as possible.  Now I could show you, but that’s up to you.”

Your body tenses up at the question he was asking.  Seeing as he has gloves on, you don’t suspect he meant to show you on the model vagina.  But that’s why you’re here, right?  To get help and also to be touched by a smart, handsome, kind gentleman that you never met in a backroom: just the normal human experience.

“Uh...well, it would certainly make it easier.  Sure.”  You say, moving your hand back to grip the exam seat as you sat like you were in the final stages of giving birth.  You repeat in your mind that he is a medical professional that means no harm and any gynecological exam gets awkward sometimes and he has also seen thousands, so yours won’t get him any more rattled than the next one.  

You watch as he nods to you, confirming he received your consent.  He rests one hand on your knee and the other reaches toward your now throbbing lips.  Time seems to move slow until he finally makes contact, giving you a jolt again.

“Sorry.  I know it’s different with a foreign hand but let me know if it’s uncomfortable.”  He says kindly.

You take a deep breath and drink in his comforting words.  “All good!  X marks the spot, right?”

You feel his fingers slide along your inner lips, giving them an occasional gentle pull that curls your toes.  “Now, your labia minora doesn’t look like the model because the model is the depiction of a white woman’s genitalia.  More often, Black people won’t have that high pink color that is praised as you said.  But it does not make you abnormal or less desirable.”

“No?’  You ask quietly, relaxing under his touch once again.  The medical terminology is a good distraction from what is happening, so you try concentrating on that instead of your growing arousal.  

He smirks, revealing those dimples that caught your eye again.  “Not at all.  So don’t listen to anything otherwise.  You look perfect.”  He looks at you as he says this, pulling and stroking at your lips slowly you can’t help the arousal building between you, breaking eye contact as soon as possible to study the mirror.  

But that only makes you hotter to see him touch you as you gasp out,  “Well that’s good news!”  

He looks back down at your vulva again.  “Now I am doing this one handed, which may not be comfortable when you attempt, but it’s easiest for me since my fingers are thick and nimble.”

“Hey, practice makes perfect...I mean, not like you have played with a lot of vagina before.  Not played but examined...which I guess if you’re good at it, you would have played with many vaginas then, right?”

Dr. Stevens gives you a confused look before breaking into a chuckle.  “Not ‘played’.  I don’t play with anything.  I work.”

 And I am glad you clocked in, you thought.

“But as I was saying, the clitoral hood can be pulled back like so…” 

You feel it before you can see it.  His thick fingers fan your lips out so much easier than your own hands, you gasp audibly before covering it with a cough.

“Uh huh, go on.”  You croak.

He appears to barely notice as he studies the reflection of your clit in the mirror, pressing his middle finger right on the peak.

“And that makes for a more accessible area in which you can arouse yourself, like so.”  

He slowly circles your clit over and over again, much longer than you expected for an examination.  Are you supposed to say stop, you’re unsure.  Can he sue you for cumming on his hand?  You feel your thighs beginning to buckle and attempt to close them but his grip on your knee was stronger than you noticed at first.  Once his middle finger plunged inside of you, there is no going back.  You can’t control the small mewling sounds you make as he touches you.

“You have a good amount of lubrication produced as well.”  He says matter of factly, spreading your wetness along your lips.  He bites down on his lower lip as he rubs your vulva.

“No shit!  I mean…”  You slip up, getting too comfortable but he pats your knee, flashing that winning smile.

“It’s ok, just remain relaxed, you’re almost done.  But yeah, long as you keep the hood pulled back like so and set a rhythm, you should have a pleasurable experience going forward.  If not, come back to me”

“I’ll cum alright,” you moan as your head falls back as you bring your hips forward, rocking against his hand for more friction.   This naughty spirit enveloped you.  If he ever said to stop, your train would’ve derailed, but he never did.  His accommodations to your reactions sent you further down a path to unrighteous glee.

He penetrates you with two fingers, while running this thumb along your clit in tandem with the strokes.  “Is that better?”  He asks, stroking you faster.

You nod, throwing caution to the wind as you grab hold of his wrist, writhing against his finger before your body decides it has had enough.  You felt like how chocolate tastes: lush, sweet, a jolt of energy with a smidge of guilt but unwilling to put it down.

Erik holds you close with his freehand.  “That’s good, ride it out and hold on to me.  I feel you tightening, you’re just about there, aren’t you?”

“Mhm!”  you dig your face into his chest, breathing erratically as your climax approaches.  It mattered that it was him doing it.  How you got so lucky was a question you weren’t willing to confront because it just felt so good, why even think.

“Let that pretty pussy sing, you got it.”  The release you feel wash over you makes you feel like world peace started and ended in your pussy and you screamed for joy.  You lean back on your elbows as he rests his hand still against your mound, your walls pulse in the afterglow.  

“That’s better, right?  Luckily I see you have a fully functioning muscle down there.”  He says before going to take off his gloves.

You shakily pull your gown down and begin to sit up.  “I hope so cuz if that is what sick feels like, I don’t wanna recover.”

He snickers at your comment, writing something down on some paper, tearing off a piece, folding it to give to you.

“Now, this is something in case arousal doesn’t always come to you easily.  That’s a prescription that can get the job done naturally and quickly.  Take that home with you and you can order it any time you feel it may be necessary.”

You nod, getting up to put it in your pocket.  “Thanks.  You know my friends recommended I come here and I can’t say I am upset.”

Erik holds his clipboard in front of him, holding out a hand to you.  “I’m glad you came.”

You shook it and as he left, you got dressed and drove home feeling lighter than air.  You started to call your friends about it but figured you might start at the pharmacy just to see what he prescribed.  If men can have a ‘get freaky’ pill, why not you.  You dug out the prescription from your pocket and your mouth dropped when you read it.

Erik 555-0123, use as recommended.

Part 2

Masterlist

Tag

@chaneajoyyy​

[one-hell-of-a-bi]

(could you tell me how those lack critical thinking please? not trying to argue, just actually confused)

Sorry for the late reply! The notes on the post itself do a good job of explaining things, but here’s my take.

Abuse is NEVER black and white. It might seem like it is, and for some people thinking about it that way helps, but with all forms of trauma assuming there is one way everyone should process and represent what happened to them is misguided and harmful. 

Like yes at first it does seem reasonable to say that all abusers are evil and that they should never be redeemed and that narratives that frame them as being worthy of forgiveness are harmful, but that in itself is showing a remarkable lack of understanding of what actual abuse survivors go through.

I don’t really know how other to explain it than through anecdotes so this might get a little heavy, I apologize, I’ll add a TL;DR at the end encase you would rather not read about abuse.

That said, the paragraphs below discus childhood sexual assault and emotional abuse.

So I was sexually assaulted when I was ten. For the longest time I hated my abuser, tbh I sort of still do. But he used to be someone I trusted and loved, so it’s hard for me to say things like “he deserves to rot in hell” or “I hope he dies” because...I don’t really feel comfortable saying those things about anyone, even someone as bad as him. Plus, I have reason to believe that he might have hurt me just because he himself was hurt, and while that doesn’t excuse what he did, it makes things a little bit more complicated.

It was only recently that I discovered what became of him. After what happened my family never talked about him, and I never saw him again either. I didn’t go to his trial and no one ever told me what the verdict was. I can’t even find any news articles about it no matter how hard I look. For all I know he didn’t even get punished. And tbh I was fine with that. I didn’t want to think about it. I honestly felt a little embarrassed by it and felt like my family never really believed me. So I was ok with not knowing.

But a couple of years ago he apparently reached out to my mother and started talking to her. I don’t really know WHY, but she felt comfortable talking about whatever he wanted to talk about and some members of my family have welcomed him back into their lives. And when I found that out I felt SO betrayed. I felt violated all over again, and when I went onto his facebook page to block him I saw that he was in a relationship with someone. And part of me really, REALLY wanted to find out who he was dating and tell her what he did. Ruin his life all over again. Because he ruined part of mine, why should he get to be happy? 

But after I calmed down I thought about it....and while I NEVER want to see him again(just the thought of it makes me break out in panic sweats and feel like I’m gonna throw up and cry), who am I to say that he isn’t allowed to try to be a better person? I don’t believe in the death penalty, and he’s only in his 30s. If he can see the error of his ways and grow and change and find a better life....well, I’d rather that than he go back to offending or rot in jail. If he can be forgiven by someone, that’s ok. It doesn’t have to be me, but I am willing to accept that he has a life now, and for better or for worse that’s not something I can control. 

So you see, I cannot condemn him. Part of me still hates him, and I would rather die than ever see him again, and I don’t think I will ever be able to forgive him, but I don’t want him to die. I don’t want to ruin his life. I don’t want to stop him from being a better person. If there is a hell I don’t want him to go there. 

And to say that if I don’t feel like he should be killed I somehow am being a bad survivor or that stories like mine are harmful is....bad. Stories like mine are actually VERY common. Most abuse survivors feel really conflicted about their abusers, some even still love them. Some forgive them. And reflecting that in our fiction is GOOD. 

As another example, my dad has always treated me like crap. He loves me, I know he does, and I know it was mostly because he was sick, but he wasn’t a good dad. He used me as a pawn against my mom, he made me take care of myself way too young, he blamed me for things that weren’t my fault, he yelled at me, he neglected me, all in all he was a really bad father. And I still love him.

I can still remember the good times we had. I remember talking about sci-fi and science, seeing movies, and going out for good food. He bought me nice things when he could and taught me how to cook. He never made fun of my interests, he tried to teach me to drive, he even took me to conventions and helped me make my cosplays. He let me get dogs, and I am still so grateful for those dogs, who I still have and love to this day. He’s also the reason I moved to Arizona and because of that I made new friends and got a job I loved and met my boyfriend(and our 2 year anniversary is tomorrow!).

So yeah, my dad was both a force of good, and a force to harm in my life. He hurt me a lot, and I am still trying to overcome the trauma he caused to this day. I have a lot of negative feelings towards him, and it is hard for me to talk to him, and I do have to remind myself that I don’t have to take care of him, but he’s my dad and I forgive him. I know he loves me. I want him to get better and be a good person. I don’t want him to not have a chance at redemption. I cannot condemn him. 

And these people who think that narratives like mine, where I forgive and move on and the abusers go on to have lives and even be a part of mine, are somehow evil or harmful or invalid are fucking wrong. I don’t feel bad saying that. They are WRONG. Because most people who did have abusive parents will feel the way I feel. Conflicted. A sense of both love and resentment. A reluctance to cast them aside. A desire to care for them when they need you. And a lot of us don’t even feel like we need to forgive them...we just do. Sometimes it’s easier to forgive. And sometimes we just want to have another chance at having a parent that loves us. There’s nothing wrong with that. 

And as other survivors have said, seeing stories where abusive parents and people do see the error of their ways and go on to make an effort and change and try to be a better person and be worthy of redemption is cathartic as hell. It might be unlikely, and it might be an escapist fantasy, but it makes us feel better, and helps us process and cope with our trauma. Like fucking forgive me but sometimes I want to read a story in a world where people who do wrong ARE redeemed and DO make amends and become good people. 

And this post is long enough so I won’t get into it too much but stories where bad people are redeemed are actually GOOD. Everyone fucks up at some point in their lives. Everyone does something awful, something that feels unforgivable. And when we do we see stories like ATLA and Star Wars and Steven Universe and see people who have fucked up and done awful things and who still are given a second chance. The struggle forward isn’t easy, people won’t always forgive you, they shouldn’t be expected to. But these stories tell us that no matter how far we have fallen, we can ALWAYS get back up. We can always be better. We are never beyond saving. We shouldn’t give up. That’s really fucking important for EVERYONE to see. 

And I mean you don’t have to look far to see a world where one fuck up means you are evil. That’s how Tumblr is! A system of morality where one strike and you’re out. Where you can never be redeemed. Where all apologies are performative and anyone who tries to be better is just trying to get people to forgive them so they can be bad again. No one can learn from their mistakes. And that FUCKING SUCKS. I really do not want the world to start being like that too. 

But anyway TL;DR

Most abuse survivors feel really conflicted about their abusers and do not follow a narrative that tumblr believes is “correct”. Acting like there is only one way to process and come to terms with abuse and that depicting anything else in fiction is somehow harmful and evil is in itself harmful and evil. The people making those posts don’t actually seem to care about that and tend to talk over abuse survivors who usually enjoy these narratives because stories where abusers do change and are forgiven are super cathartic and can help us heal more than stories where the opposite happens. In fact a lot of these stories are written by people who have been abused, and once again, acting like these narratives are somehow wrong is harmful as hell and invalidates a lot of people in the name of morality.

Tumblr once again shows a lack of any and all critical thinking and in doing so harms the very people they claim to be protecting because nuance is evil and everything is black and white.

Sorry that this got so long, if you have any other questions feel free to ask.

[artsyhamsterdraws]

My first Artist alley experience

So I did it. I survived! Can I get a wahoo yeehaw boiiiiii

*cough*

Anyway I wanted to write a "lil" thing about it all, like how it went, what I learned and shit like that. So here we go~

The convention I've been going to for a while now (3 times if you count this one) is called Närcon summer, and it's a "bit of everything" convention in Linköping (sweden) that happens every summer, but they also have one in the winter and fall as well, tho I've never been to those. (I want to try and get to Närcon Winter this time if it's possible).

It's pretty big. Apparently this year they got about 12.500 visitors over the weekend, so I got to meet a lot of people!

So, how was it?

Well if I wanna be short and straight to the point, it was amazing. I had so much fun and I can't wait to return!

Long answer? Well this one will go through the whole experience from start to finish. So buckle up kiddos this might get boring.

So for me it started even before the convention opened it's gates. During it I had decided to try and sell sketchbook commissions for 50 sek (like 5 bucks), because (1): It meant I would have something to do and wouldn't just have to sit at my table and stare off into space, and (2): Seemed fun.

I then decided to try and start selling them before the convention started, so that some people could come and pick them up day 1 if they wanted to. This worked, way better than expected. In the end I had 5 drawings to make before I even got there.

Here also comes the first thing I learned!

If you sell it for cheap, some people will tip you once they see the final result!

Not everyone paid extra, but I had a couple do it and that seriously almost brought tears to my eyes :')

I had reasons for selling them for so little, but I know that it was way too cheap considering the amount of time I put into each of those drawings. I just felt that; since basically no one knows who I am and this is my first time having a table, this would be a good way to get my name and work out there.

I mean, it did work since I sold 13 of them in total? Over 3 days? (I've never drawn that many things in such a short amount of time ever before).

At first I thought I wouldn't be able to sell more commissions once I got there since I already had 5 of them to do (3 of which I managed to finish before I got there). But apparently I can be fast if I need to? Suddenly they were all just...done and I opened up the commissions again!

Here are a couple of them that I remembered to take pics of:

It was a mix of fanart, original things and OC´s! Some of them I actually wanna make digital versions of cause I think they would look cool...

Once I got there I had to face one of my fears...my neighbors...  I had no idea what so ever who I would be seated with so I was afraid these upcoming 3 days would be filled with awkward silence and avoiding eyecontact. BUT! And that's a huge but (hehe)! They were great. Literally first second I met them I was like "yeah this is going to be fine".

We had so much fun, and once it got late we would sing Abba songs, and today I feel sorry for the people that had to listen to us... :P

I hope to meet them again next närcon, but the gods probably won't put us as neighbors again. They're probable mad at us for the Abba thing...

Oh and, they're both very talented and y'all should check them out! Here are their instagrams!

Literalpleb Apeachiations

Both had a bunch of fire emblem stuff, and apeachiations had some real pretty steven universe prints I wish I could buy but I don't watch steven universe so :(

Oh and I was given amazing gifts from them!

Then I bought these 2 key..chains...rings...I can't remember the english word....

Anyway I saw the Kirby one and knew I had to get it, and then I was talked into gettin the other one (I love it and wanted it don't get me wrong. It's a joke). I have yet to play the new fire emblem because my pre-order is back home and I'm at my parents place for another couple of weeks so :(

(I bought stuff from other people as well but I'll show that at the end!)

------

Setting up the table was fun! I decided to bring my bookmarks and a couple of prints, + like 8 stickers of my hamster logo. I gave 2 of them away tho to my neighbors .

Oh and I put one of my cosplay rifles on the table as well because I decided it would be too much work carrying 2 around. x'D

It started out slow. Most people just stopped by and looked and then moved on. I sold maybe 1 print and 2 bookmarks the first day? I didn't expect much anyway since it was my first time there. Honestly I'm surprised one of my prints even got sold ^^' So I wasn't that put down by the first day...

But then it was Friday, the second day, and things started picking up! I sold out one of my prints! Someone even decided to buy that damn rifle I randomly threw on there, which was amazing. I still can't believe it?

Friday was also the day my friend and I decided to do our cosplay. I missed a couple of hours in the alley because of that, since we had to get back to the hotel and change and all. Tho we did it during the evening so that it would get colder outside and we wouldn't miss THAT much time.

The alley closed around 10pm so we left around 3 to change, got back at 7 and spent those last hours there. Once it closed we also stayed way later at the convention, just walking around and actually looking at things!

Ok back to artist alley!

------

The last day I entered the building, and then only went outside once to buy a drink. Other than that I literally sat there a whole day. 10-10. (Don't worry I had a friend with me that came and went with drinks/snacks).

This day was by far the busiest! I had figured out already that most people wait until the last day before they buy a lot, which makes sense since you want to scope out the whole place before deciding on anything. Saturday (the last day) was also probably one of the days most one-day goers chose? I don't have evidence but that's the day I would choose if I only went 1 day at least...

I decided I would have sales on the last day. For example you got a discount if you bought a whole set of bookmarks. The commissions stayed the same price tho since it was already so cheap. ^^'

In the end I sold 45 bookmarks, the rifle, all my stickers, 13 commissions and all prints except for the 2 with the woman laying in flowers :/ My poor Selma (oc). Might put those on my etsy? I still have bookmarks there btw! Even though I sold a lot those did not sell out. xD

-------

Now, the last day was also the day I bought stuff from others. I decided not to buy anything from the big shops in the other building, and only spent my money on food and artist alley stuff!  Gotta support em fellow artists ya know!

I already listed the things I bought from my neighbors, but I went outside of our little hidden away corner too (I did not pay extra for like a good seat heh...).

I had table 74 (in the upper right corner)...so yeah we were very hidden. Considering the bad spot my table did very well!

Anyway, Here's the cool shit I bought!

The artists' Instagrams:

Linn Standal (Cinnapai)

Emma Lupine

Linda Lithén

I also picked up a bunch of business cards from people I couldn't buy from this time...

-----

So then. What did I learn for next time? Weeeeell...let's make a list I guess!

If you sell commissions for cheap, some people will tip you once they see the final result! (These people are very kind)

The first day is slow. Don't panic!

You always need to bring more business cards than you think. I thought I had enough but nope, they were gone halfway past the second day :/

Next time I'll bring more prints. (Only brought 2 of each, except for the spirited away one. Of that I had 4)

People make cute sounds when they see something they like :'D

Hhhh people are so kind!

Take pictures of your damn commissions!

Bring more drawing paper. (I had to buy a new sketchbook the last day cause I had like...one empty page left)

Leave a sketchbook on the table for people to look through

You're not as bad as you think you are.

People are very kind

Put the commission sign in the middle where it's easy to see it. A lot of people didn't see mine before I moved it.

Putting a sign saying "only one left" on an almost sold out item is good.

Keep track of which prints get the most people to stop. Make note of this and order more of them for next time.

Also take notes whenever someone buys something, so you know how much you sold!

Find something you can hang your prints on so you don't have to lay them on the table. There's not as much space as you think there is.

EAT!!! FFS!!!

Write down your instagram on your business card! (I forgot I had one xD)

Aaaand I think that's that?

Like I said, I had an amazing time and I really hope to do something like this again very soon! Hopefully I'll have time and money to get to Närcon winter. I'll at least try and grab myself a table just in case, and sell it if I can't go in the end. I probably won't cosplay there tho and only focus on artist alley. ^^'

Well, how the fck did you read all this? Impressive. I am impressed. Here's a picture of my cat as a price!

Bye!

[shotfromguns]

Overall, I think Avengers: Endgame was... about as good as we were going to get, given who was involved in making the film and what had already been established (or had failed to be established) in previous films. It was for sure massively better than Age of Ultron and a noticeable improvement over Infinity War. But there were still plenty of flaws (including things they easily could have fixed) and a few things that outright frustrated the hell out of me. 

My thoughts on Endgame follow under the cut. There will obviously be spoilers. This is for @pantsvaporation, but anybody else is welcome to read/comment/etc. as well.

I was pleasantly surprised that there was a minimum of obvious “actors swinging at CG enemies that hadn’t even slightly been described to them.” And while there were definitely places the film could have been tightened up, I had been expecting the three hours to feel noticeably slack, whereas the plot never seemed to me to drag at all. In retrospect, maybe I should have been less surprised by that, given that it was directed by Russos, who were also responsible for CA:TWS, which remains the most perfectly paced action movie I’ve ever seen.

Given the length of the film, however, I am fucking furious that the only (and MCU first-ever) LGBT “representation” we got was one of the Russos as a nameless extra in Steve’s support group who was framed as a mlm through the pronouns of who he was on a date with. 181 fucking minutes, and you couldn’t find room for less than 60 seconds to show us Valkyrie with a girlfriend? Carole Danvers got that amazing (as my girlfriend often describes my current look) ‘90s dyke aesthetic after the time skip, but she couldn’t have a wife? And, of course, anybody and everybody else was given a Big Case of the Not Gays, including and especially the male characters people have enthusiastically been shipping with each other due to the historical nigh-complete dearth of women in the MCU films (Tony, Steve, Sam, Bucky... and I will have more to say about Steve).

I did cry a few times, especially towards the end, which I honestly hadn’t expected to. But it all felt very... emotionally manipulative? For example, I didn’t cry at Tony dying, per se. I did cry at Pepper reacting to his death, his daughter, Happy, etc. It felt like they sort of realized that by this point Tony had become extremely unsympathetic and that they’d probably overly telegraphed that he was going to die, so they needed to make us sad about it by ensuring we were thinking about how other characters would feel about his death, versus how we ourselves felt about it.

And we sure did get a whoooooooooole lotta time to show the audience how sad everyone felt about Tony to ensure we did, too. But there was (a) very little for Natasha, who died in this film saving the universe even more tragically than Tony did, given that she didn’t even know her sacrifice would work to get the Soul Stone, let alone whether the rest of the plan would work even if she did; and (b) almost none for the characters who died in Infinity War and didn’t get a Comic Book Death resurrection through Bruce snapping or past!Nebula breaking literally the entire premise of the film (more on that in a bit). The Vision got a two-second reference, not even by name. Loki got just a flash of a cameo, with Thor not bringing him up once that I can recall, being completely focused on their mother even in a time when they were both still alive. Heimdall didn’t even get that much, nor was he even referenced; nor were any of the Wakandans who died so that Scarlet Witch didn’t have to lose her creepy robo-boyfriend (which, whoops, she did anyway). Regardless of how obnoxious some of these character and/or their fans may have been, they still very much should have mattered to the other characters, who should have been mourning them just as much as they were mourning Tony. And yeah, sure, anybody who didn’t get Thanos’d had had five years to mourn the ones who died in Infinity War, but (a) to anybody who’d just been brought back, they were still freshly dead, and (b) even the people who were around for those five years are probably dealing with that grief all over again, not least of which because they had the others who died then returned to them, and because not everybody (especially not Thor) had even properly gone through the whole grief process in the first place.

On the topic of Thor, boyyyyyyy howdy was it frustrating how thoroughly Endgame finished off the way that Infinity War had started cutting the entire legs of his Ragnarok character development out from under him. If it weren’t for the momentary appearance of a handful of characters from Ragnarok, the movie literally might as well not have happened: Thor no longer cares about being a leader for his people, he’s back to leaning on weapons instead of relying on himself, and he seems to have completely forgotten Loki after having finally reconciled with him. And making Thor fat as a joke was not only fatphobic and unfunny but really undercut the narrative’s ability to make the viewer take his trauma seriously, because of a continuously competing tension between “you’re supposed to laugh at how he looks” and “how he looks is supposed to make you sad” that was never really resolved. There was no “you’re laughing at this, but then you realize what it actually means, and you feel like an ass for having laughed.” It was clearly set up to be, “you’re laughing at this, but then you realize what it means, and you feel a little sad, but don’t worry, there will be plenty of more times when ‘Thor is fat now’ is a punchline.”

As for the film’s humor as a whole, while there were some genuinely funny moments that were well positioned in the narrative, the movie overall felt like it frequently ran into the same problem as Star Wars: The Last Jedi, where the writers were so desperate to have characters constantly quipping that they constantly undercut their own poignant moments.

Probably the biggest actual plot hole is, unsurprisingly, the time travel. They initially did an... okay job of justifying why the characters couldn’t just change the past (though it wasn’t until Bruce got to have his chat with Mx. Yellowface that it actually got in any way coherently explained). But after they did all that work of establishing that they couldn’t just change the past, for capital-R Reasons...

They did uhhhhhhh a whole fucking lot of changing the past. A few of these things could be at least fanwanked away. Maybe past!Steve forgets future!Steve telling him Bucky’s alive because he got knocked unconscious immediately afterwards. Maybe Tony’s chat with his dad had always happened. Maybe Steve had always spent decades with Peggy. But there is no way Sitwell et al. wouldn’t remember Steve pretending to be a member of Hydra, which would significantly alter the events of The Winter Soldier if they weren’t smart enough or lucky enough to verify that Steve wasn’t also a mole and therefore realize he was an “imposter” before one of those Hydra sleeper said something to past!Steve to make him suspicious. And Loki grabbing the loose Tesseract and poofing is a massive change in the timeline.

Their enemies did a whooooooole lot of changing the past when past!Nebula brought past!Thanos and The Gang through to the future, including effectively permanently restoring Gamora, i.e., someone who’d been “irreversibly” sacrificed to obtain the Soul Stone.

Once these things happened, there was literally nothing to explain why (a) the future!Avengers couldn’t at least bring back Heimdall, Loki, all those Wakandans, the Vision, Natasha, and Tony by pulling them from earlier points in the timestream, and (b) why the future!Avengers couldn’t just take their set of Infinity Stones to a point before all of this shit happened and prevent it from ever having happened. Which isn’t to say the writers couldn’t have cooked up some sort of internally consistent explanation, e.g., “this Gamora is basically stolen from the other timeline, which still exists on its own independent axis, and the Avengers wouldn’t kidnap their friends out of another timeline and leave that version of themselves without the person they want to restore just to have that person here.” But they didn’t bother, which presumably means no one involved in making the film even noticed the utter inconsistency.

Speaking of utter inconsistency... Steve. Steven fucking Rogers. Hooooooooboy. That ending was the biggest, stupidest, cheapest piece of schlock I’ve seen in a movie for a long fucking time. Let’s leave aside the fact that he chose to leave behind two perfectly good boyfriends and the fact that he barely said boo to Bucky, despite the film having reminded us how important Bucky was to him by having his name literally be the thing that so shocked past!Steve that future!Steve was able to beat him. You’re seriously telling me that Steve was still pining soooooooo badly for Peggy that he would literally risk the entire timeline so they could have their Hetero Happily Ever After? (Bucky, Sam, Tony, Angie: I’m so sorry, bbys.)

Yeah, sure, Peggy and Steve being parted was sad when it happened. But they’d been colleagues for a handful of years, then maybe sorta friends, and then kissed once, in a speeding car, just after they finally admitted they’d both been crushing on each other pretty hard the whole time because they were on the way to possibly both die. That is not “the love of your life” who you spend the rest of time sighing over. That’s, like, the guy I casually dated for a bit over a month in 2011 because, while we hit it off amazingly well, I didn’t want to get serious when he’d be moving in about a year once his postdoc was done, who sure enough moved to the east coast a year later and then abruptly died of a heart attack a few years after that. Is it tragic that he’s dead? Absolutely. Have I sometimes thought, “Gosh, I wonder what could have been”? Sure. Did I decide that I would never ever again date or even look at anyone else, because he was the only person for me in all of space and time? Lmaoooooo no. I am, in fact, deliriously happy with my current girlfriend, who I also happen to think is way better for me than he ever could have been.

It was already established that Peggy got married in the original timeline (in CA:TWS, Steve watches some footage in which she mentions that during the war he’d saved the man she eventually married). This means that either (a) Steve supplanted her original husband, which is pretty gross, especially if he didn’t tell Peggy “oh hey btw you originally married this other guy, wanna go check him out first,” or (b) Steve was Peggy’s husband all along, and she just obfuscated that. Either way, in the timeline we end up with, somehow for 50+ years this incredibly well-known woman and sometime Director of SHIELD was married to a man she kept absolutely secret and hidden, which somehow no one ever discovered the secret of or even ever commented on, apparently. It also means that, when Steve showed up on her doorstep, both of them agreed that (a) it was more important for them to play house than for Steve to ever openly use his abilities again and (b) Steve would sit on his ass and twiddle his thumbs through every major crisis he knows is coming over the next half-century. If the MCU serum slowed Steve’s aging the way the comic serum did, this might be slightly understandable, because they could justify it as, “Well, Steve will go back to adventuring after he closes the loop with his original timeline, and this will basically be an extended vacation.” But Steve did age (and they presumably had no expectation that he would not), meaning that he wasted decades of active time at most acting secretly and anonymously from the shadows. You really think that these two incredibly dedicated and driven heroes would both agree to that? Sure, I could absolutely believe they’d take the opportunity to finally get that dance. But there’s no way that Peggy wouldn’t have booted Steve’s ass out of bed and back to the 21st century, and it’s highly unlikely Steve himself would have so much as seriously considered staying for more than a more leisurely farewell and proper closure.

Steve’s Hetero Happily Ever After also further complicates the issue of that time travel plot hole I mentioned. If the stones were plucked from one or more divergent timelines (or changes made while grabbing the stones then caused the creation of divergent timelines at those points)... how did aging!Steve end up staying in the same timeline as the rest of the future!Avengers? It seems like it should be impossible for all these things to be simultaneously true, which means either I’m missing something huge or at least one of them is a huge fuck-up in terms of the plot’s internal consistency. EITHER the changes to the past happened in (or spawned) one or more divergent timelines, which is why, e.g., Gamora could be brought forward from her past and now be alive in the future without altering the past that led to her being brought forward in the first place, in which case aging!Steve would have spent his life in an alternate timeline and old!Steve wouldn’t have been able to come visit all his buds on the day young!future!Steve left to return the stones; OR everything took place in a single, unified, undivergent timeline, which would mean Steve could drop into the past and take the long way back to the exact point in spacetime he left, but the changes to the past would have altered the past events, meaning that because Thanos and The Gang skipped forward and Loki is at large with the Tesseract, the events of Thor: The Dark World, Thor: Ragnarok, Infinity War, etc. never happened, and we’re also back to having no reason why other dead people couldn’t be pulled forward from their past timeline, why Thanos couldn’t be stopped by time-traveling the stones to before he retrieved them and using them to stop him, etc.

Various other issues:

The “monstrous” single woman who can’t get pregnant sacrificing herself so that the virile man will have his wife and children restored to him is... not a good look. Also, it’s weird how “we don’t trade lives” when it’s about a robot coded as a white man sacrificing himself to save half the universe (though apparently even at the time a whole bunch of Wakandans was fine, whoops, remember all the Black people who died trying to stop Thanos from getting to the Vision, weird how those lives were okay to trade), but when it’s about Natasha or Clint throwing themself off a cliff, immediately they’re both all, “Yeah, it’s gotta be done for the greater good.”

Thor getting to be the one to axe Thanos’s head off instead of, you know, like, oh, I don’t know, Nebula? The woman he abused and tortured pretty much her entire life? Bad. Inappropriate. Disappointing.

Everybody kept talking about how the characters who got Thanos’d in Infinity War were their “family.” For Rocket, I believe it; one thing the GotG films actually did well was to establish that level of relationship for those characters. But the Avengers? Lmaoooooo. The MCU Avengers were not a fucking family. The MCU Avengers spent every single movie at each other’s throats. If you wanted us to believe they were even friends, you should have given us at least one film of them seriously working as a team instead of against each other.

Holy shit, do I not care about Clint Barton’s Manpain(tm). Also, if you want us to see how far he’s “fallen,” maybe do something other than giving him the worst mohawk I’ve ever seen (including one done backstage after a show and one a friend gave me in my bathroom in college) and a boring tattoo and having him badly pick up an ugly katana-esque sword to kill objectively bad guys.

Bringing Scott back was easy enough that a rat walking across a panel after five years of that shit sitting in a storage facility could do it, and yet no one else tried even once? Somebody saw all that shit set up, and went, “Welp, guess they’re all just dead,” instead of, “Hey maybe this running equipment indicates an experiment in progress that we should maybe investigate”?

The “let’s line up all the named women” shot in the final battle was the most patronizing display of pandering I’ve seen in the entire franchise. Not only did it make no sense for them all to be in the same place at the same time with no men even in the shot, but... they were utterly ineffectual? It was like, “Gosh, how will Carole ever make it through that??? Oh, she’s got US, GIRL-FRIENDS, DID WE MENTION WE’RE ALL LADIES, BUT NOT QUEER OR ANYTHING.” And then... Carole immediately blew straight past them, because her power level is so off the charts compared to almost every other named woman in the MCU, many of whom are simply very, very skilled peak human heroes versus being superhuman.

Speaking of superhuman abilities: Why wasn’t every time-travel suit an Iron Man-style suit like Rhodey’s? Obviously he needed an exoskeleton bit to walk, but since Tony took the time to build him a beefed-up full suit, why didn’t he do the same for everyone else?

Along that same line of stupid decisions made around the Vitally Important, We Only Get One Shot At Fixing This time-travel mission, why didn’t they wait until everyone was in better shape? Thor was clearly still an emotional wreck, and if Rocket hadn’t been on the ball, it would have cost them one of the stones. As soon as you’re traveling back in time to fix something, unless there’s a hard limit on how far you can go back (which there wasn’t), you literally have the rest of your lives to get ready for it, so can and should take as much time as you need to prep (and even over-prep) for that mission. A little more lead time also would have given someone the opportunity to go, “Hey, wait, why don’t we first make a quick stop to just grab more Pym Particles, so we have more flexibility with destinations and do-overs?” Or even, “Why don’t we make these suits modular? That way, they can join into a single unit for each team on the way there, thereby saving a bunch of charges, but also split off into individual suits with everyone having enough juice to get home individually just in case someone gets split off. That will leave us with a bunch of extra Pym Particles in case something goes wrong.”

Other than meta reasons like “we want there to be a big epic fight,” why was it such a struggle to fight Thanos? The Avengers very nearly beat him in Infinity War, when he had five of the six Infinity Stones. Here, he had none, and they still barely squeaked out the victory by the skin of their teeth.

Thanos’s rapid switch from “I’m gonna kill half of all living creatures to uhhh save the universe somehow” to “I guess I’ll just wipe out everything and make an entirely new universe” once again highlighted how deeply stupid his original plan was. If he has the capacity to re-create the entire universe, why doesn’t he just... make more resources, if that’s such a fucking problem? I mean, also, spoiler alert for the real world: It’s not. It’s always been an issue of distribution, not amount. People aren’t starving to death because there’s no food; people are starving to death because of capitalism. So unless you target your population elimination at capitalists exclusively, killing off a bunch of people is going to maintain exactly the same problems of unequal resource exploitation and distribution.

Speaking of which: Why is post-Thanos Earth presented as a mellow semi-paradise (except for everybody being sad about all the dead people)? The loss of half the world’s population would have been catastrophic, cascading into many more deaths. Nor would it have solved inequality... or even resource “over”-utilization. Earth hit a population of 3.85 billion (i.e., half the current ~7.7 billion) around 1972, which many people currently alive have personal memories of not actually being particularly idyllic. This also highlights once again how deeply stupid and nonsensical Thanos’s original plan was, given that his “solution” could easily become obsolete in another 50 years... or even sooner, given that Thanos also cut all non-human creature populations in half, which would have not only reduced related resources available for human consumption but devastated ecosystems worldwide.

There has been a huge official campaign to persuade audiences to not spoil the movie for others. As a general principle, I’m a fan of encouraging anti-spoiler culture, but I think it says a lot about this movie in specific that the studio has put in so much effort to try to stamp out spoilers: i.e., they’re worried that the only real draw it has is people finding out assorted plot points. If your film can be easily replaced by a bulleted list of who’s alive or dead at the end of it, it’s... not actually a good film.

ADDENDUM MAY 5, 2019:

Okay, so, per the Russos, the reason Steve's Hetero Happily Ever After DOESN'T break the entire rest of the film is that it happened in an alternate timeline, and he just jumped back to the MCU prime timeline later... somehow. I still think that's shitty, lazy filmmaking, because in three hours they absolutely should have, you know, made that more clear (or... at all indicated that's how it played out). But at least it keeps their time travel mechanics from completely breaking their own plot.

But that means that in THAT timeline there were two Steves. Which means the BEST-CASE SCENARIO is prime!Steve hooked up with that timeline's Peggy after being 100% honest about who he was, alt!Peggy... chose a different version of Steve over her own Steve, for... reasons?, and then together they found and revived alt!Steve, at which point prime!Steve was like, "lol sorry bro, she's my wife 'cause I missed my chance with prime!Peggy, but at least now you're not frozen for any longer than you already have been."

Other options include:

Prime!Steve pretended to be alt!Steve while leaving him in the ice, counting on him not getting rescued until alt!Peggy would be nearly dead.

Prime!Steve helped rescue alt!Steve, then left alt!Peggy and alt!Steve to have their personal Hetero Happily Ever After while he... married some other random person?

Prime!Steve straight-up murdered alt!Steve to take his place.

Prime!Steve and alt!Peggy rescued alt!Steve, and she married both of them. (Somehow I don't see Disney going for that option.)

ADDENDUM MAY 12, 2019

I just read another interview, this one with the writers. Buckle up, because there’s even more embarrassing shit.

McFeely: I mean, we did all of this before Ragnarok.

Markus: Yeah, initially we were writing drafts prior to Taika coming onboard. And it was once they got underway and they were off in Australia making the movie and it was clear that they were discovering new facets to Thor, Chris Hemsworth wanted to make sure that this new loosened-up Thor didn't vanish immediately upon returning to the Avengers world. And so he and Taika flew to Atlanta and we had long meetings with them and watched some footage and got a sense of the new Thor tone, and it worked perfectly with where we wanted to go.

... ... ... ... Literally WHAT FUCKING PART of Infinity War and Endgame matches AT ALL with Thor's character development from Ragnarok? I was all ready to go, "Oh, okay, that makes sense" at the reveal that this was written before Ragnarok. But then, nope, they admit that they just have no fucking idea what they're doing and think they actually integrated its changes WELL. JFC.

McFeely: So where we hit upon it was in order to become their best selves, Steve had to find a life, and Tony had to lose his.

Boring idea and poorly executed to boot. (Not to mention the extreme cringiness of “finding a life” necessarily requires “marrying a woman and having babies in the suburbs.”) How are they getting paid money for writing this trite?

Fandango: So people are asking... Does this mean an old Captain America was hanging out this whole time while another Captain America was saving the day?

Markus: That is our theory. We are not experts on time travel, but the Ancient One specifically states that when you take an Infinity Stone out of a timeline it creates a new timeline. So Steve going back and just being there would not create a new timeline. So I reject the "Steve is in an alternate reality" theory. I do believe that there is simply a period in world history from about '48 to now where there are two Steve Rogers. And anyway, for a large chunk of that one of them is frozen in ice. So it's not like they'd be running into each other.

HAHAHAHA HOLY FUCKING SHIT okay so NOT ONLY do the director and writers have COMPLETELY DIFFERENT IDEAS about what the fuck happened at the end (did they... not discuss this with each other? at all?), but the WRITERS' version is the one that is THE MOST OUT OF CHARACTER. HOLY SHIT.

McFeely: So we've always thought that the most perfect conclusion to [Natasha's] arc would be to die for her new family, or to sacrifice greatly for her new family.

GAG GAG GAG GAG GAG GAG GAG

McFeely: We toyed with not doing that, and we had another version, and several women on the crew said, "Don't you dare take that choice away from her. The heroic thing is for Natasha to do it, not for Hawkeye to do it."

these are definitely real women who actually exist

Fandango: Do you think there's a world where we see the adventures of Captain and Peggy either on the big or small screen?

Christopher Markus: Possibly. I think maybe all I did was Steve was a stay-at-home dad and Peggy went to work at S.H.I.E.L.D. I don't know that there were any adventures.

lmaoooooooooo

Imagine being this bad at knowing your own characters. Imagine thinking either Peggy OR Steve would just give up their life to play house when there's important work they could be doing.

[monkey-network]

Good Stuff ~ Seven of the Season: SU Season 5

Wallop on my jollops, Batman, we got ourselves one of the best seasons of anime that I dare say will be the best of year in its entirety. I’m talking Mob Psycho 100 II like, holy shit, talk about doubling down on giving people a roller coaster of a time in the first month; it’s amazing. But enough about that, we’re talking about Steven Universe’s climatic season before Steven Universe 2 potentially blows us all away. Here be the TOP 7 Best Episodes of Steven U’s final season. Seven, because it’s lucky, babey. Okay *pops a beer* so....

Number 7: Can’t Go Back

It is something where I don’t hate Lapis as much as I’ve seen most else. So when we got an episode where Steven and Lapis get to casually talk to each other on the moon, I was definitely down with that. Wasn’t too big a fan of the musical number, but I liked that Steven and Lazuli just had a sincere yet casual chat about her situation after jetting off, Lapis coming to terms with her more aloof character, something I wanted more of from this series. However, the ending definitely set this back. In the sense that Lazuli was surely coming around, at the very least work through to shed off the fears she possessed previously, those doubts and anxieties are unnecessarily strengthened as the Pink Diamond plot gets in the way with Steven not even trying to stop and ease Lapis’ panic mode after his nightmare; practically made the episode just feel like set up for the Rose Quartz twist in that instant when it didn’t have to and Lazuli’s turnabout in Reunited feel slapdash. The casualness or laid back atmosphere of this is what I say made this episode in the list, but, with all due respect, fuck that ending.

6. Change Your Mind

It’s safe to say I was thoroughly entertained from this finale like my god, it just went all out with giving people the confrontation of a lifetime and I can’t stay mad at it. But, on rewatch, it loss the enticement when it’s pretty by the book. If Steven wasn’t Pink, I’d have no doubt that not only would this have been different, but would’ve been a whole lot challenging for Steven and everyone in its entirety. But for this, it’s kinda the prime example of why I see many be frustrated with this show: because you’re either with it and applaud it for its efforts or sit there empty or disappointed the second you turn your brain on and try to process what legit happened. And for me, the diamonds having a change of heart in their more abusive connection with Pink, Steven fusing with everyone, White Diamond not even fighting for her worldview after getting roasted one time, didn’t feel earned as it did just fall in place for Steven, the exception being his connection with Pink Steven. Everyone was just on the same page by the end, except for those forced shard fusions who writhe and scream in constant pain and agony, reaching out to escape their torment after the Diamonds approved experimentation on them; the ones who can't be fixed. I bet they're okay with the Diamonds laughing it up with Steven at a pool party. And as bombastic and emotionally charged as it was as a entertaining episode, it lacked coordination or a good semblance of logic to be a good episode.

Number 5: Pool Hopping

Honestly Garnet getting to act more eccentric, hanging out with Steven, is what made this episode stand out at first, but to see her acknowledge Steven’s growth, changing her perspective on him, is what made this a stand out episode. I like how this is parallel to season one’s Future Vision except it’s at no one’s fault and Steven is more comfortable with the unpredictability of things compared to beforehand. And what’s especially poignant about this is that it serves as both a standalone that genuinely felt like a “Season 5″ episode and in hindsight a great preface to Ruby and Sapphire’s arc later on. It’s pretty middle on the list because the next entries have a little more to them, but I nonetheless say this a great episode for Garnet.

Number 4: Reunited

I’d say any criticisms I have for this were how I felt about Change Your Mind but not as heavy. It was all entertaining, but loses momentum when you bother turning your brain on for a bit. Like, even on my first viewer, knowing full well that Steven is Pink, I figured soon as the Diamonds would arrive that “Ah, Steven’s gonna make them open up their eyes,” which initially diminished any impact the whole fight scene had on me; making it more of a laughable tussle then a serious root worthy standoff. It’s kinda hard to feel invested when you feel the protag’s not gonna lose in any semblance! But, what makes this generally better than Change Your Mind is the wedding part of it all. Man, if this episode was just about the wedding, it would’ve been #1 no question. The musical, the ceremony, Rubes and Sapphy in general, it all just came together like quality fettuccine! I’m a sucker for weddings and that was one of the best moments of the show.

Number 3: Escapism

I’ve already talked about this episode, almost ad nauseam, so if you wanna know more about why I say it’s the best of the Diamond Days arc, links here, here, and here. But long story short, this was an episode that utilized the point of the title extensively. In contrast to Steven and Connie’s barren situation, the episode was an escapism in a literal and figurative sense and even then, it’s one where Steven had to genuinely fight to get the ending he wanted. Reminded me a lot of one of my all time favorite books, The Odyssey. It’s one where I genuinely empathized with the kid’s struggles since he found his situation dire and serious. It was mostly absent of dialogue which made the visuals stand out more to me. And really, I had a laugh at how Steven was done with this shit which made his successes feel more.... gratifying, lack of a better term. And the cherry on top was the musical number, which had me thinking of its purpose for once. Needless to say, I enjoyed thinking about this episode.

Number 2: Back to the Kindergarten

This episode is an earnest time waster. I mean that as a big compliment and because it literally amounts to Peridot wasting time on futile efforts to come to a valid sense of self actualization. Seems episodes containing the shorty squad with Scallion head as the central focus amount to the most meaningful slice of life episodes and I’m for episodes like this. Raising the Barn was generally boring until the end, but this episode makes up for that with a solid experience for Peridot handling the aftermath of Lapis abandoning her. Amethyst was a direct, yet necessary push for Peridot to head to the Kindergarten, especially when she herself was pumped to go now knowing her lineage, and it was neat how Peridot’s newfound colorful perspective shined a profound light on how the Kindergartens were harmful to Earth. Even Steven was a great backbone to the others, being a good team player to both Peridot and Amethyst when they briefly tag teamed to be Smokey. While I was questioning why the trio were planting sunflowers in a place… devoid of sunlight, the end where Peridot looks over the leviathan batch of ‘em, signifying the vast opportunities she still has while alive, in comparison to the first train ride she had where she sulked away from the scenery, was a lovely feel to look back on. This was an enjoyable watch the whole way through and a good episode to think about from time to time. But I’d expect nothing less for best Crystal Gem.

Honorable mentions: Jungle Moon, The Trial, The Question, A Single Pale Rose

Number 1: What’s Your Problem?

My only complaint for this episode is the beginning where Amethyst is more callous than before, being generally ignorant to Pearl and Sapphire sobbing right in front of her. I understood what she was going for, doesn’t diminish the episode, but the writers made her sound pretty out of character. A great joke in this is when Amethyst tries to literally jet off and for a split second, I forgot that Steven can jump high and seeing him pounce at her just caught me off guard. Then we have the end, where, after trying to help him open up, Ame tells Steven that she’s tired of him having to carry the others’ melancholic baggage and that he deserves to have a voice for himself. And that… stuck with me, resonated with me because her putting her foot down felt honest, sincere, and to the point. And man, if I can resonate with a Steven Universe episode at this state, someone did something objectively right. I especially like that after her big moment, she playfully recoiled when Steven casually gave her a compliment to think about. I’d say it showed that Steven does want to express his feelings, but he feels that venting isn’t gonna resolve much like how it used to. It showed the two supporting each mutually without having to feel sorry for themselves. This episode not only boosted my love for Amethyst, other best Crystal Gem, her and Steven’s sibling bond over time, culminating to this moment, is what I enjoyed most about this series. If more episodes was like that third act, I would praise this show a whole lot more.

Won’t lie, got mixed feelings about this season. On one hand, it’s the Kingdom Hearts 3 of this series where there’s some finality to it, there was quite a lot to enjoy, and I feel relieved sticking by it the whole way. On the other hand, the majority of episodes didn’t faze me as much and it felt exhausting actually getting some finality to this series since this season took almost two years to premiere everything. At the very least, I’m optimistic in the fresh start SU 2 will potentially bring with the movie this coming fall; it’s gonna be the Knack 2 of Cartoon Network. In any case, my kudos to the crew for this series and their dedication* to it.

[striddums]

ok, keeping this under a cut cause i just really don’t want to start a whole discourse on my blog, i hope you all understand. so, to the anons:

first: i realise i need to be more mindful & discreet about this topic than i initially was in my tags, especially as a white person, like you stated. and i apologise. i hadn’t watched any of the videos (including pdp’s) yet, and writing “i don’t think he’s a nazi” was just literally me carelessly sharing my gut feeling. cause i still think that he’s not... maybe i’m horribly naive for it. but i don’t think he is. the post i linked there is a piss poor “apology” and whatever, but he does state very clearly that he doesn’t share the same hateful thoughts as those people. he even calls the idea laughable - which to me perfectly summarises the entire problem with this guy. which brings us to...

...point two: in that post he says, i quote, “As laughable as it is to believe that I might actually endorse these people...”. he’s a dumbass. he thinks it’s fine to call it laughable, that he has a place to do so, and that it proves his point. “of course i don’t think that way! that’s so ridiculous i’d never in a million years even consider it! it’s laughable!” to me, that has seemed to be his thought process every time something like this happened... and, again, it’s fucking stupid. he SHOULD realise (especially with his massive audience, god) that he needs to be more careful talking about that stuff, more respectful, more empathetic. people get hurt by what he says and what he does. so many people (RIGHTFULLY) responded the way they did to his offensive jokes cause he caused HARM. and he simply hadn’t fathomed it would have the colossal impact it did. so i understand that people see that and think “well, he’s going around trampling on different groups, seemingly without remorse. this clearly shows his ideologies.” it’s a logical response! my feelings on it however... i’ve been watching his channel since 2012, and i just don’t think he’s that guy? not in a i-watched-him-so-long-and-i-wuv-him-too-much-to-see-mistakes kinda way. i’ve unsubscribed from many people i watched since 2009-2012 in the past cause they did something horrible (alex day for example). but i never got the feeling felix is the horrible person people worry he is. in the recent post (that i now deleted) i saw someone in the comments say “most of his videos have antisemitic tones”, but that’s simply untrue. i still watch a lot of his videos (think of that what you will...) and it’s literally 99% silly, inoffensive memes. the vast majority of his content is completely harmless. i can vouch he does not mention jewish people, or hitler, or anything like that, ever. cause...

...point three: why would he? he’s been under fire by the media and the internet and a big chunk of the whole world for what he did. disney fired him, his youtube red series got cancelled and thus scare pewdiepie 2 will never see the light of day. and, again, RIGHTFULLY SO. his “”””jokes”””” were distasteful and awful, and he had to face consequences for it. (which he agreed with btw! in the end with all the companies dropping him, he was most upset that other people who appeared in scare pdp 2 did all that hard work for it to never get recognised, all due to his idiocy.) so, as we all know, people were very upset with him for what he thought was just a funny-kinda-risky joke, and they still are. i lose followers every time i mention his name lol. he has expressed many times that he feels remorse and wishes for himself to do better and never fuck up like this again. that’s why i think he was not aware of the antisemitic references made by the creator he named in the recent video. if he did know it, regardless of him actually being antisemitic or not, he never would’ve mentioned them. he would’ve known what kind of shitstorm he could expect, ESPECIALLY since it’s regarding a topic he’s already screwed up in! i legit think he had no idea. also cause watching the video by the twitch streamer (from the post i now deleted), i had to rewatch the clips apparently showing antisemitic content many times. i didn’t get the references... at all... maybe i’m super uneducated, but i didn’t recognise them as anything nazi-related. <:/ they’re not blatant, in your face antisemitic references, they’re apparently very hidden and specific. all of them went right over my head, until the twitch guy paused and went “oh my god” and i then tried really hard to look into it... so i think it’s the same with felix. i believe most people wouldn’t notice the messages in them, unless they were familiar with nazi references. i think pdp likely just found a death note review that he enjoyed (it’s his favourite anime and he has Big Opinions on the netflix remake) so he decided to shout out the channel that made it based on that. i think this cause in his video, it’s literally the only thing he had to say about them... “i liked their anime review”. that’s it. so i believe the references went over his head too. (EDIT: after i wrote all this & posted it i saw pewdiepie had just uploaded a video addressing the matter, and he confirmed what i thought. he had no idea there were antisemitic references and never would’ve shared the channel if he had known.)

now, about that creator he gave a shout-out to, point four: from what i understand of the clips the twitcher showed, the offensive person isn't spreading blatant supremacist propaganda, or clearly stating to be in favour of those things. they’re putting in hidden references, and these might reflect his feelings (i wouldn’t be surprised.) but one thing became clear: he is in fact, a horrible edgelord lmao. the 4chan kind. the person who thinks putting a hitler speech bit in a steven universe video is funny. which is disgusting. i honestly doubt pdp has seen that su video, cause it’s on the man’s second channel that he never mentioned in this shout-out video, and cause it’s steven universe related lol. i don’t think he’d click on a su video, but that’s based on assumptions entirely so not very credible, i know. the su video’s title also has a rape joke in it... it’s just all round bad. that’s the only vid that had a more obvious nazi ref too (literal hitler) and the terrible title... so yeah fuck that guy. it’s unsure if pewdiepie actually knew about that video at all (and that one was referenced the most by the twitch streamer). all we can say for sure is that E;R guy is a massive twat. (EDIT: so yeah again, we now know for certain pdp had never seen the su video and junk)

to round it all up... to me pewdiepie is a guy with edgy humor, who thinks he can joke about everything (which, no ya don’t, especially as a cishet white dude), and who by far doesn’t take things as seriously as he should. and by a LANDSLIDE not as seriously as he should as a youtuber with 75 million subscribers. he’s made a lot of mistakes and it was never my intention to come off as if i’m defending or excusing them: i’m not, and i think they’re terrible. they’re extremely upsetting, and i’m deeply sorry for not being clear about that and putting those irritated tags under the post so carelessly. (my irritation was also mainly directed at felix for screwing up... again.)

but yeah, i do feel like he’s not actually someone with offensive thoughts... just someone who needs to grow up more & get better at handling such a big audience (which he has had like 4 years for... too slow). he has a far larger impact than he realises at times and there’s just certain jokes he CANNOT make. not only cause they’re simply unfunny and distasteful, but also cause they harm people. so all the people who say he handles things unprofessionally and has WAY too many screw-ups for someone with the large following he does - i wholeheartedly agree. but i don’t think he’s a nazi.

[ts-nightingaleislands]

Episode #2- “My dumb ass tribe apparently doesn’t know how to play chess”- Tawni

I want to go and do some chatting today if I can, get people feel more comfy. I have to be consistent because when you're consistent peoppe are going to want to have you around longer. So I am gonna work on the whole tribe if I can!!

I am so conflicted right now. Rizo has potential to be one of my closest allies and that makes me kind of concerned for this. The twist has me needing him gone to get the idol and Im not concerned with it, but like realistically I feel like I have one of the easier lists...I cant decide if I should trll him to assure I never want the idol or keep it a secret. I could claim Ill never target him but really it would make me paranoid that my ally has me as an option on the table. Gosh Im in a pickle

I think an alliance may be brewing! I was approached by Chris and Gwen talking about a group of five of us, but nothing is concrete yet. I hope it's true though, the five consists of myself, Gwen, Chris, Sara and AnnMarie, which are the people I personally find the most interesting so they're definitely the people I wanna see stick around. Kyle's fun too, but we've only spoken a couple times and as soon as I thought our conversation was going somewhere he left me on read, so... ya..

so, i'm a mess and forgot to do this for round one,, sorry!! but, it was actually kind of an interesting round. upon meeting my tribe, i was mainly just trying to get to know everyone and at least introduce myself, which was honestly kind of overwhelming especially never having met these people LOL. but all in all, i think it went well. i at least made a bit of conversation with everyone on my tribe which was super good i think. i think the first talk of strategy came from zach, who wanted to make an alliance with like everyone but cheatham, dylan, and will which was kind of messy. i made the mistake of mentioning cheatham's name as the vote in that chat before i realized that no one else in there was loyal to that alliance LOL and actually wanted to vote zach out for being messy. as far as i know, cheatham doesn't know that i said that so hopefully he never gets around to hearing it??? but anyways, after that mess, i was added to another alliance called the sane ones, with noah, tawni, cheatham, and dylan. i actually really love this alliance and im super thankful to be a part of it. we all discussed voting zach and sure enough that's what happened. so last round was pretty straightforward with a unanimous vote against zach. however, in my new alliance, i have been informed of austin making an alliance with the same people in my alliance minus me LOL. so now i have to watch out for austin who is probably coming after me since he isn't including me in my alliance. but i feel pretty decent right now, i really do feel like that alliance has my back and im working on building individual relationships as well. i feel closest with tawni i think since we are currently bonding over our distrust of noah since he's kind of fawning over the fact that we are women?? like what?? LOOL please i don't want to deal with straight men this game honestly. but anyways yeah i'm kind of hoping we don't have to do tribal again so soon because it was pretty stressful, especially now that i know some people aren't including me in things.

Going into the first immunity challenge, I was confident that my tribe could pull thru because for the most part we were all very active. In the time of the challenge I have made great connections with everyone in the tribe and I feel like I have info coming from everyone. I was able to make Gwen Sara Chris Kyle and Annmarie all feel like I was there number 1 and truly idk who is my number 1. I do enjoy Gwen Chris and Sara. As of now they are my final 4 and we have our alliance the Corgis. I am ready to lose and go to tribal and see if these guys are loyal. In terms of target I don’t really have anyone because everyone seems great. Steven has been the least active so as of now I would say him. But the twist is interesting because I want the idol but I do not want to target any of the people on my list so I will play it by ear. But expect some fun and aggressive gameplay.

A lot, I'll make another one later but it's always good to form an alliance you know.

I need to stop showing more of my personality to these people because if I show my self fully it’ll give people a sense of what I am like so for now on I will tone down how I talk to people. Also if we lose I’ll make sure Vincent will be going home.

Austin told me there are 2 trios, and I'm not in either of them :(. Apparently Noah, Will, and Cheatham have a sort of pregame, and then Amy, Dylan, and Tawni have all aligned as well. If I'm going to be honest, I may have made a bit of a hasty decision when I said I wanted to side with ADT over NWC. I wanted to vote Will out for a while, and hopefully I'll get my chance to soon. But winning the challenge would also be a favourable outcome!

Ok so chess. That entire situation was stupid. First off. My dumb ass tribe apparently doesn’t know how to play chess. So the resident stoner had to volunteer aka ME! So at the challenge we, Tim and I, get propositioned with potentially getting an individual advantage by forfeiting while in the lead. Well not even caring about an advantage going into the challenge to begin with I was fine with losing. I would have been fine waking out completely empty handed. But tim being the angel, hoping he doesn’t make me regret calling him that, he is let me at least get the individual reward. But I’m not sure how knowing will has me on his list will help me. Considering he is on mine as well he was already a target for me. It kinda helps knowing I dont have to go after someone who isn’t on my list but I’m not sure how I can actually use this advantage ATM

Noah is still on my side apparently because he leaked Will's plan to vote me. Of course, a part of me is still worried that this is a 4D Chess play which still ends with me dying, but until that my vote will be for Will (most likely).

I HATE LOSING! we need a win but....im doing loyalties for this vote so i can build trust and have numbers on my side

Before the challenge my mind was set on Vincent going home and now it is Amy. So I was able to tell Vincent and Austin to vote her ass out and I told Noah to ask Dylan to vote her out as well and to also I got Noah to tell Dylan if Dylan can be a decoy vote for Amy so we don’t have to worry about who’s she voted for when she’s being given a decoy and the girl doesn’t even know, I’m kinda setting up Noah to look like a stronger player in Dylan’s eyes, I just hope I perceive to be a weak player as in strategic wise to the others. The Queen Stays Queen Adios Amy xx

Man petrel is on a roll. 3 straight challenges and I must say I am impressed. I am happy my team is successful but I’m kind of disappointed I wanted to go to tribal. I wanted to get this game going and see if I could make some moves. I’m confident in my Corgis alliance the the side relationship I have build with Kyle and Annemarie that I think I have a good grasp for the game. I wish we lost and I would have probably waited to see what everyone wanted to do. I’m expecting Steven to be the number 1 target in my estimation. I would like to target maybe Tim because he is a strong player and was on of my targets so I would love the chance to go into the immunity pool for that idol. But I have to be patient and passive I just really want to see where everyone loyalty lie. Should be very interesting

I don't want to lose because I actually like everyone on this tribe. But...we're all literally just sitting here singing Kumbaya around the campfire. The REAL test is going to come once the game turns dog eat dog. After this tribal, Thrush likely will be at least somewhat divided and know that those in the minority might be more likely to cross tribal lines in the instance of a swap. Petrel is loose and unpredictable! So....I'm not asking for tribal....but I'm sorta asking for tribal! It would tell a lot!

Well! I was surprised how organized we were as a group in the challenge! I definitely feel we make a great team and honestly I think for me once I feel like I am under pressure I act out and I am happy I was able to contribute

Hello! So I am waiting in the standby line at Radiator Springs right now so...45 minute wait yay! It’s a good thing we won the challenge yesterday so I can enjoy Disneyland without having to worry about tribal. What’s really interesting to me is that I see myself trying to implement David Bloomberg’s rules without even realizing it. I’m scheming and plotting, albeit trying to keep a lot of it under the radar - to at least make it appear like I’m not scheming and plotting too much. So for example, for rule clarifications for the immunity twist, I am getting those answers in my host chat rather than the tribe chat. I don’t want them to know that I am actually thinking about these things strategically. Last thing I want to do is be michaela-ed out of this game and be undateable!!! I would like for me or one of my alliance mates (preferably Chris or Rizo) to get the idol if we end up having to go to tribal council and vote people out. It isn’t so much that I want to have the immunity, but I want to know where it is. In this game, knowledge is power. Knowing who has the immunity idol is important. Ideally it’s on our side, but if we keep winning, it might not be. If the other tribe does get it, we will have to keep the majority OG Petrel and split votes. That would probably be our smartest option, assuming everyone is willing to stay Petrel-strong. That’s my plan for now. But don’t doubt that I will flip if I think it will benefit me in the game. Another thing that I did this round was discussing a little strategy with Chris, as he is my #1. I wanted to get a feel for where his head was at in case we went to tribal council. (We had this discussion on voice chat during the immunity challenge). My thinking is that I want to try to get some cards out on the table pre-losing a challenge just to not make it look like I’m just strategizing because we lost. It’s a tough balance. So what I did was I just asked Chris where his head was at in case we did lose. We both agreed that the 6 needs to stay strong (Chris, me, Rizo, Sara, AnnMarie, Liam). That leaves Kyle, Steven, and Tim. I waited until Chris threw out a name first. He said that he didn’t like how Tim reacted in the first immunity challenge when our second move didn’t count because we formatted it wrong. He said that he didn’t like that Tim was sooooo upset at the hosts. That gave me an opening to share that when I accidentally made an incorrect Harry Potter reference, Tim all of a sudden didn’t talk to me as much. I didn’t share my thoughts that I think Tim is very smart and strategic. I would be afraid of him in the merge - he comes off as someone who would be okay throwing alliance members under the bus to further his game. I mean, I am too (IN THE GAME - I LOVE MY PEOPLE AS PEOPLE OUTSIDE OF THE GAME). So if we do lose an immunity, Tim will probably be a target; however, it may be beneficial to get Kyle or Steven out since they are on my list. We will see how things go if it comes down to it. Another thing that I need to balance is my threat level in challenges. It’s tough because I want us to win, and it’s hard for me not to take control of the challenges. I’m trying to control just as much as I think I need to to win, but not adding too much extra strategically if it’s not needed. Okay, so alliances: things are about the same, but there is one new alliance - Tim’s Devils. So basically, Tim made a group chat with AnnMarie, Sara, and me with some important information. Apparently when he played Hero’s chess with Tawnie, she told him that Noah has been a little creepy (AKA Dan-like) with the girls in their tribe. Now, unfortunately this could be three different things: 1. Noah could actually be creeping and that would be gross. I’m assuming that since he wasn’t ousted from the game, that if he is being creepy, he got a warning and stopped. 2. Tawnie could be making it up. Now, I would hope that wouldn’t be the case, especially given the events of the current season with Missy and Elizabeth. I really really REALLY hope this isn’t the case. Why would she do this? Maybe she has Noah on her list for the immunity twist. If she is doing it, and it’s for that reason, that would be super messed up. 3. Tim could be making up the story that Tawnie told him. Again, I would hope this isn’t true. What would his motivation be? Maybe to keep the target off of himself in a merge or swap? All three of these scenarios are messed up. Sexual harassment is not okay, and neither is using it for gameplay! So Chris said that Corgis is the new FOUTTE (four of us to the end - a bb21 reference). I said we have to keep the name Corgis, and Fessie is not invited. I’m in for that final 4, except for Sara. I adore Sara, but in terms of the immunity twist, she is on my list along with Kyle and Steven. So I need to figure out a way to get her out ASAP, without making it obvious that I’m doing it. I haven’t mentioned this to anyone in the tribe. AnnMarie knows she’s on my list, but I’m on AnnMarie’s list. So it might be beneficial to get AnnMarie out at some point too. I don’t know who else has me on their list. Chris is my #1 for now. As much as I adore him as well, I am not afraid to throw him under the bus in the finals. Chris, if you are reading this after the game, I love you and it’s just game play! I do want to go to the end with you though!!!!! F2! Or F3 with Rizo if that’s the case. The other tribe has been going to tribal. So unless we have a tribe swap soon, they are more likely to get the idol first. So that is definitely something to keep in mind. If Noah goes home tonight, it will be in the back of my mind that Tawnie may have him on her list. And if someone from their tribe gets the immunity, then she may be a contender. Should keep things interesting! Okay, so it’s almost time for me to get on Radiator Springs - so that’s it for now!

So I find that my top 2 are Rizo and Gwen, both of whom have now told me in various ways that I'm their number 1. This should be interesting! I actually dig Rizo a lot but also I had good vibe on Gwen since seeing her intro so we are gonna have to see how this plays out!

I talked to Gwen and we both said we didnt have each other for the twist but I voiced my concern on having the name of someone I like but beung unsure if I should tell them and she felt best to not say a word so I guess Im not telling Rizo 8l

Okay FIRST OFF i don’t wanna day that i’m controlling the game. But i’m controlling the game. I’m obviously a F2 with Tawni bc we know eachother and we tell eachother everything. Noah thinks he’s my F2 but tbh i hope me and tawni can get him out soon bc he’s so PARANOID. Will thinks that we are bffs and i’m blindsiding him tonight. Dylan and Amy think i’m super close with them. And i’m also cool with vincent and Austin. Everyone keeps coming to ME with different plans and it honestly feels nice. I’m just gonna keep being nice while telling them what is going to happen. mwah X

Everything’s going good(knock on wood). We’ve won two straight immunities and the reward challenge(way to go Tim), and we’re about to have the numbers by two people. Hoping we can keep our immunity streak going. I want to get a good group going, possibly with an alliance chat. I feel pretty good with everybody. Really hoping we don’t swap anytime soon. And finally. Go Petrel.

Ok, so I'm gonna be a little mean, but I think I already know who doesn't like me. It feels like a lot of people in my tribe. Everyone is lovely, but I feel a bit disconnected from everyone, especially because of my inactivity. I'm happy though, because everyone works so well in challenges. My inactivity due to school is gonna mess up my game for sure. I'll try to be a bit more bold and there, so I'm not as forgettable as I think I am.

7 votes Will, 1 vote Amy.

[shawthingfilms]

AN OPEN LETTER TO MARTIN SCORSESE

In response to his comments within the article – ‘Cinema is gone’: According to Martin Scorsese, ‘younger people’ just don’t understand’ (from The Associated Press’ December 22nd 2016.

The article can be read here.

http://news.nationalpost.com/arts/movies/cinema-is-gone-according-to-martin-scorsese-younger-people-just-dont-understand

Dear Mr Scorsese,

Firstly and foremost you are a hero of mine, therefore this is a difficult letter to write. However, your comments within ‘The Associated Press’ (December 22nd 2016) felt like an immense blow to a young, hopeful and inspired filmmaker like myself. I’m here to remind you that there are still young filmmakers with unique voices, yearning to tell the same kind of stories which you do. I am young and I understand.

Unlike your own childhood Asthma, I had no health problems of my own. However, a healthy dose of childhood trauma, lead me to find my escape within the beautiful and wonderful medium of film. This meant countless years spent trawling through video stores; hours spent in a dark room alone watching films – much to the chagrin of my parents, who simply couldn’t understand why I preferred films to ’real life’. I fought them tooth and nail to attend film school because you did. I wanted to follow in your footsteps. I understood your need to make films, which expressed the way you felt about the world.

It was you who taught me about Italian Neorealism through your film ‘My Voyage To Italy’ – and from there, I discovered Spaghetti Westerns, then John Ford. I journeyed on through the French new wave – I read Truffaut’s interviews with Hitchcock, and from watching Hitchcock’s entire back catalogue, I discovered Brian De Palma, then other filmmakers such as William Friedkin and on and on. To this day, my life is forever marked by the viewing of certain films, which touched me to my very core.

Like you – my home office is a ‘temple of worship’ to film. My shelves are filled with books on film history – many of them specifically on your career. My walls are covered with movie posters – many of them original one-sheets of your films. My DVD collection is in the thousands – full of films that impacted my life – such as ‘Mean Streets’ and ‘Goodfellas’.  This year – I took my father (now in his 70’s) to see an exhibition of your own work in its entirety. Most of which he has never even seen. I ran excitedly through the gallery, explaining your career to him as if I was a tour guide.  He was inspired and awed by my knowledge – compelled by my passion for your work.  

At thirty years old, you had already made two feature films and were soon to complete ‘Mean Streets’. At thirty, I struggle daily to make the leap from short to feature film and to keep a roof over my head. On what seems like a weekly basis, I am constantly being reminded by my heroes, such as yourself, that I am  at the end of the film industry as we know it – clutching onto nothing. Staring into a bleak and dark abyss. You’re not the only one – Steven Spielberg regularly likes to warn us youth that the end of film is nigh and all hope is lost.

As a frustrated part-time film lecturer of young Millennial University students, I can understand your point of view.  At times, it does feel like younger people just ‘don’t understand’. Many of my students have never seen ‘Jurassic Park’ and ‘Star Wars’ let alone discovered films from Bergman or Fellini. However, I don’t blame them, they’ve got a hundred years of film history to catch up on. At almost $20 a ticket in Australia, it’s hard for them to afford to go to the cinema – but they still devour films. They just watch them on a smaller screen than you or I. And because they’re smart, they have discovered that they don’t actually need to pay for a ticket. And despite the fact many of them haven’t seen a Fellini film, everyday I watch young filmmakers pour their heart and souls into telling stories that express their feelings about the world.

If you want to understand what it is like for young filmmakers - It’s hard to find a kernel of hope when you’re growing up in today’s world. The film industry often looks bleak, even from the outside looking in. The cinema is saturated with superhero films, and even legends like you are struggling to find funding for their mid-budget films. But there is a reason for that - action films and comic book adaptions translate across a global market. It doesn’t matter whether you’re in Chennai, Beijing or Auckland -  people still enjoy watching baby groot dance and Chris Hemsworth’s lovely blonde locks. Films about Catholicism within 17th century Japan will always struggle to translate across language and culture.  

The American independent scene has almost completely disappeared. The only people who seem to be able to get a film made are Mark and Jay Duplass. But thankyou to Mark Duplass, because he is trying to inspire us with his SXSW talk, rather than telling us the end is nigh and we are to blame.  If anything, the end of unique storytelling is less a reflection on hardworking young filmmakers, but rather the out of touch Hollywood executives and studios. Those men and women who have forgotten the balance between artistic integrity and the growing profit line from Marvel films.

It’s hard to hold my head up and keep going in the face of insurmountable odds – and when my most revered filmmaker reminds me that ‘cinema is gone’, I stop and think, maybe its not worth making films anymore. I begin to give up on my dream completely.

I’m honestly sorry that ‘Silence’ didn’t quite perform as you had expected. I feel that it is your most measured and mature film to date and deserves to be seen. We all suffer as filmmakers, when our films don’t quite connect with audiences as we had wished. I’ve had my short film turned down by fifty festivals this year. But you have a responsibility to keep your head up and to inspire us with your words rather than adding to our sense of utter hopelessness.

You believe that we have lost the ability to make transformative, unique and groundbreaking stories like the ones you make – but this is just not true. Cinema isn’t gone – I’m trying very hard to make the same kinds of films you are.  On behalf of other young filmmakers, I’m here to ask you; please Mr Scorsese, desist from telling my generation that ‘cinema is gone’ and start to give us much needed hope we need. Be our beacon of light, our shining example. You don’t give up and neither will we.

[izloveshorses]

Alrighty so while I’m thinking about it here’s basically every element from Beauty and the Beast that I adored

can I say how surreal it was to be in a theater packed with young girls of all ages wearing yellow dresses with their Belle barbies 

not to mention all the adults and people my age who’ve been singing Be Our Guest for eternity were all so excited 

it was almost like when The Force Awakens came out and Star Wars was alive again and everyone, old and new generations of fans, gathered together.... ya know what I’m talking about? where everyone in the room is buzzing with anticipation

the CGI wasn’t as terrible as y���all thought, y’all need to have a little faith sometimes lol

the casting was excellent!!

i know people have mixed feelings about Emma Watson playing Belle but I honestly wouldn’t have casted it any other way. She’s always been a women’s rights activist, a bookworm and a thinker, and a strong role model for young girls. and her favorite princess was always Belle I mean come on. and her singing voice was so incredible!! that was what I was most looking forward to in this movie and it did not disappoint

she also said in a buzzfeed interview that she imagines Belle would open the Beast’s library to the public and start a school!!! How rad is that?? HEADCANON ACCEPTED 

shout out to Dan Stevens for waltzing in 10 inch stilts while wearing a 40 pound body suit 

ok Luke Evans and Josh Gad must’ve thought they were in Dirty Dancing because they had the time of their lives

and Luke was pretty attractive. just sayin

overall, the cast was really diverse! not one but two interracial couples! and in general there were a lot of poc in the village featuring a wonderfully sweet librarian dude

Everything about Belle’s character was fantastic I’m not kidding

i think the town had such a consistent routine that she could precisely time when the morning rush started?

despite the village blatantly gossiping about her she was still so nice and polite to everyone

so??? much??? sass??? it was unreal??? When Gaston asked why she wouldn’t go out to dinner with him he assumed she had plans but she was just like “No...” and she didn’t even explain further how freakin savage she shot that boy down

(a few more examples bc this girl was on fire) “Why would I be startled? I’m talking to a candle” and “Is that a joke? are you making jokes now?” and my fav “’Maybe you just haven’t met the right man?’ ‘It’s a small village Gaston, I’ve met them all’”

this is Elizabeth Bennet level Jane Austen would be proud

they touched on how women were expected to have kids in their late teens/early 20s and she’s like “screw that” yeah girl smash that patriarchy

how on earth did it take me 17 years to realize she’s considered odd because she’s the only literate girl in the whole village???????? how did I, a history buff obsessed with the French Revolution, never make that connection before???? this isn’t specific to the new film but still I applaud it good job disney

she was an inventor!!! i don’t know if i’ve ever been happier than when i saw her solving equations and tinkering and making a washing machine so she can read and get chores done simultaneously. emma totally had something to do with this decision absolutely no doubt

she doesn’t ride her horse sidesaddle and that was like a huge faux pas for ladies back then (again, smashing the patriarchy one step at a time)

SHE WAS TEACHING ANOTHER SMOL GIRL HOW TO READ!!! THAT’S SO IMPORTANT AND PRECIOUS I’VE BEEN UNABLE TO THINK OF ANYTHING ELSE SINCE THAT MOMENT

she planned to escape the castle from the beginning and was really creative about it, and no matter what she always found some sort of weapon lying around lol (a random stick, a chair, a pitcher Belle what would you do with that) but she was always prepared to defend herself with somewhat of a plan and attempt at thinking ahead

She was really curious about the curse and asked questions about it to figure out this mystery herself

she was always problem-solving and trying to find a solution to situations and that was so cool girls need to see that strong female leads aren’t always the ones that can fight, but girls with wit and bravery

there was lots of nice background info on characters that otherwise wouldn’t exist, like Belle’s mom’s death, why Maurice chose to stay in that boring village and Adam’s dad being a jerk and turning him into a monster (no pun intended)

Mrs Potts giving us a reason why the entire castle was cursed, not just Adam. They didn’t do anything to stop Adam’s dad from corrupting him and man that’s some heavy stuff

I feel like each character, especially the servants, were so much richer and stronger and more complex, and the stakes were higher bc each time a rose petal fell they became less and less human

even the enchantress had a name and she was gorgeous?

they went pretty dark in this one... like something caused that tree to fall in Maurice’s path and back into an upright position. the wolves wouldn’t cross the gates because of some boundary. the way the whole castle shuddered with each drop of a pedal. i could go on... and the added character depth really helped that dark stuff too

THE MUSIC!!!! WAS SO GOOD!!! I’ve had the album on repeat for.... four days now and I’m not sick of it yet?? please send help

seriously, they did an amazing job. it was perfectly balanced w both old an new songs, and neither of them overshadowed the other. each song got it’s spotlight, they honored the old ones while including new original ones that were awesome (cough forevermore cough cough)

Gaaaaaastonnnnnnnnnnnn omg that sequence was awesome. honestly i think everyone in the theater tapped their foot when he was stomping and dancing on the tabletops

Belle was really good too to me because i’m a nerd for that set design

Days in the Sun is extremely underrated!! but yes, Forevermore is breathtaking it’s growing on me more and more each day

lots of rotating cinematography and spinning i’m a nerd i love it

the costume and set design.... holy crAP it’s stunning

i read somewhere that Belle’s casual getup has large pockets for her books and she has part of her skirt pinned up so she can ride Philipe easier and that’s beautiful

each scene was packed with tiny details that most movie makers overlook and I’m so impressed???? not just visually but there were so many sounds that truly made it feel real like in the village I’d occasionally hear a crying baby or a dog barking or just constant chatter and that’s stuff you’d expect to hear in a crowded village square

the little twinkling lights during the ballroom dance was probably my favorite i may have cried

No one ever say anything bad about Belle’s dress again IT WAS SO GORGEOUS it floated across the floor like a bundle of sunshine

and there were so many details in that scene? did anybody notice her gold earrings she wore they were wonderful

her hairstyles throughout the whole movie were so cute (esp at the end with that updo!! and that pretty flower dress I need it)

the historical accuracies??? unreal??

so much baroque architecture with all of the elaborate gold designs ahhh i love it

half of it looked like a rococo painting, the other half a neoclassicism painting

girls weren’t allowed to be educated so that’s why Belle was hated so much--and so cool--and ohhhh my mind is blown why did i not understand this until now

lol a giant chunk of France was illiterate at the time too so LeFou realizing that halfway through trying to spell Gaston was hilarious

actually the mob song in general is scarily accurate. what starts with a small discomfort turns into irrational fear which turns into extremism in crowds and they did the stupidest things like “hey there’s a monster that we’ve never seen or heard of and it’s never attacked us before but LETS KILL IT” seriously the French loved mobs

they included a lot more intimate moments w Belle and the Beast to build up their relationship more carefully 

Belle almost in tears when she was in that library because honestly same girl

my favorite moment in the entire movie, although small, was when they were in the library during “Something There” and she just kept grabbing book after book and he was walking behind her holding this massive stack that was so cute

honorable mentions: when the Beast shook his head like the horse omg. and I freaking cackled when he threw that giant snowball at her face

when they were in Paris, and Belle figured out that her mother died of the plague and she said “let’s go home”

she just rode off while still wearing her ball dress

“no time to change gotta go save my pa i’m keeping this btw”

and then she strips down to her undergarments because they’re about to go after Adam and that’s the final straw nobody messes with him under her watch she has to save him and, sorry, but she won’t let a big bulky dress get in the way of that despite how beautiful it is

Belle participated in the climax fight scene she was not taking any of Gaston’s crap

and then Adam was like “stay there I’m coming” and she completely ignored him so she could step in if he needed her

“I am not a Beast”

the transformation scenes were amazing

LeFou’s character arc was surprisingly great! and I support him and his boyfriend

that one growl at the end... you know the one... I’m very confused why was that so sexy is that bad

there were so many moments where i got goosebumps and sudden tears from the swelling of the orchestra or a certain chilling line and i was just so moved by this movie

in every showing that i went to there was a massive applause from the crowd and i love it you deserve it disney

I'm running out of adjectives

There was hardly an aspect that I disliked. Maybe more of Mrs Potts would’ve been nice, maybe Belle asking Adam to grow a beard was a little strange, maybe Ewan could work on his French accent a little more (don’t get me wrong I love this man but it could use a little more work... other than that his acting was superb). my complaints stop there! I honestly loved this film so much and I’d been pumped since I first heard about it back in 2015. It didn’t disappoint! that means a lot coming from a person who had insanely high expectations for it.