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mothwingwritings · 1 year ago

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Dreaming Of World's End

Reader X Zenos Yae Galvus

Waaah it has been so long!!! I apologize for the absence! I have been working on and doing all kinds of stuff (fics included) as of late so I did one of my classic dip outs there for a moment, but I’m here! Just plunking away as usual. :)

With Dawntrail coming up I have been focusing a big chunk of my free time on trying to beat Endwalker (I am slow in all things, video games included lul) because I wanna be there with the herd with Dawntrail comes out!!! I have no idea if I am gonna make it, but I am doing the best I can to catch up!!!

That being said: Zenos brainrot propelled this fic from my brain, to my computer, to you. Was I and am I also writing a bunch of other things? Yes. Is this the only thing I could momentarily focus on writing-wise because I have been compromised by my love for this fucked up man? Also yes. I’m sorry. It’s bad. I was already obsessed with him in Stormblood and now that I am deep within the clutches of the Endwalker msq… It’s over for me guys. It was a good run, but rip to me. My WOL may be playing hard to get, but I’m sure not. Zenos if you are reading this, you can just have me.

So without further ado, here is a Zenos fic I have been working on! My love for him aside, I think Zenos is a super fun character to write for, so I really hope I did him some justice! This is a reader insert fic, but you are the Warrior of Light in it so feel free to insert your OC’s and WOL if you like! I tried to keep the reader neutral, but I will say it’s def aimed more at a female reader/character and if you are a shorter race like a Lala it will probs be a little wonky, so my apologies. Also, I am about half way? A little over half way? through the Endwalker main story, so potential spoilers up to that point. This fic takes place sometime between post Shadowbringers and the first part of Endwalker.

Nothing overly explicit, but due to the nature of this fic it is 18+ please!

Thank you so much for reading!!! <3 I truly hope you enjoyed!

WARNINGS: Unhealthy relationship (if you can even call it a relationship), intense infatuation, implied noncon, noncon mentions, a lot of fighting and mentions of fighting, mentions of death and the end of the world, unwanted touching, Endwalker spoilers.

It was always the same dream.

Amaurot. The end times. Death, destruction, chaos. Streets tainted by endless misery, stifling woe permeating the air as people ran about frantically, picked off left and right by horrendous, nightmarish monsters. Screams pierced the air as the remaining survivors struggled in vain, desperate to escape a fate that they could not avoid.

Just as any other night, he would watch it all unfold with cold indifference. Walking through the crumbling, fire charred lanes of this shell of a once bustling city, he would take it all in at a leisurely pace, maintaining a stride no more rushed than if he were taking a pleasant stroll. His features would be void of distress or malaise, his face a blank slate as he paraded down roads lined with bodies and devastation.

Zenos could say it was because he had grown accustomed to it, have the same dream each night and the grisly scenario that laid in wait past your closed eyes was bound to no longer shock you. But that would be a lie, as this ghastly nightmare had never truthfully bothered him to begin with. He simply didn’t care, not about the dying planet, nor its inhabitants that suffered the same fate. This scene from another time, this moment from a faraway place that no longer existed, he couldn’t bring himself to feel any form of remorse for the phantoms left to wallow helplessly in this endless, hellish loop, even if his own star was on track to share the same fate.

An echo of the past was just that, to dwell on it was a fool’s errand.

But tonight, it was not the end of times that greeted him when he closed his eyes. In its place stood an immaculate hall appearing to belong to some manner of grandiose castle. Pristine and orderly, he sat upon a large throne questionably positioned in the middle of the walkway, facing so that a vast expanse of the hall was clearly within his view.

Had he been here before? It was hard to say, having been trapped by palace walls most of his life they all blurred together after a certain point. Perhaps this wasn’t even a castle, but some manner of fortress. The varying weapons displayed neatly along the surrounding walls certainly made it feel as if this was more than just a mere abode for royalty to live out their boringly opulent lives, perhaps it doubled as an armory of sorts? Every sword, spear, and battle axe looked immaculately cared for; their blades so sharp simply looking at them made you feel as if you had been sliced.

His time to dwell upon the mystery of his surroundings was quick to dissipate however, as he felt a familiar presence approach him from behind. He remained still when a delicate hand was placed upon him, crawling from his arm to slide unhurriedly across his broad shoulders. The caress occupied the entirety of his thoughts, manicured nails scratching lightly against his flesh as they raked across his back, pressing just hard enough that they left a pleasant burn in their wake.

“There you are,” a deceptively alluring voice purred in his ear. Phantom arms draped themselves loosely over his shoulders, their fingers moving to trace a swirling pattern upon his chest. Goosebumps littered his arms at the brief contact. “Were you hiding from me?”

A small smile spread across his lips. What elation merely hearing your voice caused.

Were he not already aware of it, he would recognize he was in a dream from this interaction alone. You, only you, would be welcomed to touch him this way. But even were he to offer invitation, you would never do so of your own free will. There was a mixture of pride and revulsion that kept your interactions with him void of skinship, save for the fleeting contact that occurred when you were locked in combat.

His motivations, the way he chose to experience the world, your differing values and opinions. Like night and day, they barred you from reciprocating his feelings towards you. Because of this, he was left to revel in your touch exclusively in the realm of dreams.

“On the contrary,” he hummed, “you have been the one to keep me waiting.”

A low chuckle reverberated from your chest, sending a shiver down his spine. You rose to your full height, pulling away slowly until you disconnected from him completely. Even if the contact was nothing more than an attempt at provocation, he missed your touch the moment you detached yourself.

“Well then I hope you can find it in your heart to forgive me, my lord,” you enunciated his title tauntingly, the playful lilt in your voice exciting him further. He heard you take several languid steps away from him before you spoke once more. “That is, if you even have a heart that can offer forgiveness.”

Zenos rose to his feet, turning to finally face you. Your back greeted him as you stared up at the myriad of weaponry covering the back wall, the hand that was moments ago atop his chest now gracefully running across the hilt of a long sword. Your fingers lingered on the handle, moving as if you were going to grip it, but never completing the task.

Zenos smiled. You were toying with him.

“You jest,” he spoke, taking a measured step your way, “if anyone has intimate knowledge of the existence of my heart and whom it beats for, it is you.”

Your posture stiffened in acknowledgment of the insinuation, yet you refused to turn his way.

“Is that so,” your voice seemed distant, as if you were unwilling to accept the burden of the intense desire he held for you, “Forgive me, I must have misread the situation. Due to the nature of how our meetings always end, I figured you only ever wanted one thing from me, and that is my blood.”

A low chuckle rumbled from within him, his eyes crinkling in amusement. For all that you were, all the skills and knowledge that you held, you could certainly be dense.

“I desire all you have to offer,” he answered plainly, “Your fury and malice, your rage and rancor, your disdain and desire,” he continued to approach you, each step slow and deliberate as he closed in on your staunch form. “Your love and affection are no different. I want to consume your every thought, just as you consume mine. I want you to taste me in the air you breathe and feel me crawling under your skin, even when I am far removed from your presence.”

He stopped several steps away from you, keeping his distance but lingering close enough that it bordered on intrusive. He raised his hand calmly, reaching out to grab a stray lock of your hair between his fingers. He gingerly caressed the silky strands, smirking when he noted that even such slight contact caused a shudder to lurch your otherwise statuesque form.

“You can play the fool all you want, but you cannot hide the fact that the same beast that dwells in me is also within you. They call out, craving each other to the point of madness. We need each other. This dance we share must continue in perpetuity, lest our fierce yearning for each other’s presence turn us to savages incapable of rational thought, driven to the point of committing mass, undiscriminating destruction as a means to appease ourselves.”

He smirked, placing a gentle kiss atop the tendrils in his hand, before letting it slip from his grasp completely. “And you would do anything to divert that misfortune, would you not hero?”

Your shoulders began to quiver, shaken by the threat of violence he could and would commit simply to be by your side. An impatient sigh escaped his lips, “So come, what better way is there to quench each other’s thirst and prevent calamity than through a mutually beneficial rendezvous? Surely even someone as set in their way as you are is in agreeance.”

“I was under the assumption that you planned on battling me until the world was torn asunder, regardless of if I entertain your perversions or not,” Your voice dripped with disdain as you spat your response at him, “If that is the case, pray tell why I should not cut you down where you stand? Why must the dance continue if the outcome is all the same?”

Your words made the smile on his face grow, stretching his lips to an unnatural degree. Taking another step forward, he leaned in until his mouth grazing the shell of your ear. Placing his hands firmly atop your shoulders, he gave a tight squeeze as he responded.

“Because we share one destiny,” he pressed his cheek flush against your head, inhaling deeply before releasing it in a slow, shaky sigh, “even now as you try so hard to deny me, our fate is intertwined, my warrior. You cannot escape me, and I have no desire to escape you. The dismantling of this world as a result of our conquest is all but inevitable and I welcome it with open arms.”

“I won’t let the world crumble to ash.” Your bold declaration was spoken as if it were fact, the conviction in your voice sending a surge of wanton excitement coursing through his veins. “Say and do as you like, the future you seek will never come to pass.”

Oh, how he adored you.

“Hmm,” he hummed, “You can try and stop me, but you cannot escape what has been predestined.”

During the course of the conversation, your hand had had traveled to the base of an axe, your fingers wrapping around it to grasp the handle in a constricting hold. All of the anger that had been bubbling up reflected in the whites of your knuckles, the tremor of your hand becoming more apparent as your composure slipped further and further. The cool demeanor you initially donned had completely shifted, overridden by the immense agitation his presence was inviting.

The axe was ripped swiftly from the wall, lacking fluidity. There was no care for keeping the wall in tact or making sure all the other weapons that surrounded it stayed in their spot. You ripped it down with one great tug, bits of stone and surrounding armaments clattering noisily into a massive steel heap on the ground as you finally spun around to face him. Zenos had seconds to react as you swung down in a wide arc, the finely sharpened blade slicing easily through the decorative tiling that coated the floor, decimating the ground where he once stood.

“There we are,” Zenos growled in anticipation, sizing you up with a bloodthirsty grin, “you are a vision to behold when you let your ferocity consume you.”

You deigned to answer him, your icy countenance his only response as you straightened your posture, considering your next move. Your distaste for him was clear as you hefted your axe from the ground, dust settling around you as it was freed with a mighty yank. Weapon in hand, you came for him in a relentless torrent, striking at him in a flurry of breakneck swings. In the ensuing madness, he grabbed the nearest weapon he could reach-a sword that was more ornate that functional, but it would serve its purpose for the time being.

The enmity increased as he reciprocated your attacks. Parrying each blow with a steady hand, he responded to your blows with calculated strikes of his own, expertly countering your aggression. The air around the two of you had become electric, charged with hostility and fervor as you hacked away at each other time and time again.

Though frantic, the assault was far from inelegant. Each swing of your axe and swipe of his blade was an orchestrated maneuver befitting the couple who performed them. It was as beautiful as it was fierce, a true force of nature. To an untrained eye the activity would appear as nothing more than a blur of chaos, annihilating all that was in its wake. But to Zenos, a man who had dedicated himself to your study, it was a sight that made his heart ache.

He was witnessing a glorious preamble, a promise forged in battle between himself and his righteous and powerful hero, the only person with whom he ever felt a true connection. This battle, amongst all of its other perks, gave him purpose.

Fighting you, he felt alive. To be the sole receiver of all your ire, your discontent, your undivided attention… it was like a dream. He realized this encounter was most likely just that, a conjuring of your presence from his sleep addled mind, a side effect of his constant ruminations of you. You already occupied each of his waking thoughts, it only made sense that having you visit in his dreams would soon follow.

Be that as it may, the knowledge that this moment lived solely in his mind did little to dissuade his desire to get lost in it, to get lost in you. If he couldn’t have you in the waking world, his dreams would have to suffice, at least for the time being. Besides, there were things he could accomplish in his dreams that would never be plausible elsewhere, moments of intimacy he could forge that would never present a chance of happening in reality.

A particularly rough blow sent Zenos reeling. The sword knocked from his hand scattered just out of reach, his body lurching to an abrupt stop as he collided with rubble that had piled up behind him. A quick glance your way revealed a small smirk ghosting your lips, a hint of satisfaction shining through your hostility. He could see the assurance reflected in your eyes, a swell of pride over the victory you would soon be relishing.

Zenos mirrored your glee, pleased you were having as much fun as he was.

As you hoisted your axe high, thoroughly preoccupied with your pending achievement, Zenos took the moment to strike. Launching himself from the ground, he rammed his body against yours, hitting you hard and fast. The speed at which he closed the gap astounded you as much as the collision had, causing the axe to topple from your hands, skittering out of your reach. A pained grunt escaped your lips as you collided with the ground, Zenos following suit atop you. His hand cradled the back of your head as you fell, catching hold before it could crack against the stony floor. It would do no good to have you suffer injury and pass out now, not as things were about to get truly interesting.

Positioning himself atop your fallen form, his body caged you in as you lay beneath him, panting and exhausted. Splayed amongst the rubble, your confusion morphed into a look of annoyance as you realized your situation had drastically changed. Your success had been stolen from you and now the thief had you cornered, trapped right where he wanted.

“I wish you could see yourself as I see you in this moment,” Zenos spoke between his own labored breaths, pressing into you ever further as his face hovered inches from your own, “Disheveled and feral, transformed by your bloodlust, you have never been more breathtaking.”

“I’m not like you,” you retorted sharply, “I don’t revel in such acts of savagery.”

Zenos chuckled, “And yet you seemed quite delighted moments ago when you were convinced victory was within your grasp.” You frowned as his hand found purchase on your chin, gripping it in a tight pinch to keep your focus fixed his way, “But here you are now, bested and at my mercy.”

You grimaced, “I have yet to lose to you. I refuse to concede defeat.”

In response to your bold declaration, he gave a throaty, booming laugh. How was it that you always knew just what to say to drive him absolutely mad with desire?

Unable to contain himself any longer, Zenos smashed his lips to yours, capturing you in a heated and hungry kiss. Your brain took a moment to comprehend the abrupt action, but as it did you began to struggle against it, thrashing and clawing at him in an effort to create distance. Zenos remained firm, making it clear that you had expended far more energy than he had, leaving your assault lacking the power needed to stop him. Whines of displeasure snaked from your mouth as his grip tightened on your chin, squeezing so roughly you couldn’t help but gasp in pain. Eagerly seizing the opportunity, he muscled his tongue inside of you, lapping at the inside of your mouth aggressively. He groaned as he savored the taste of you.

When a need for air arose, he pulled back slightly, staring down at you with lidded eyes. Your saliva coated his lips, giving a glossy sheen as they curled into an offputtingly tranquil smile. His hand moved from your chin to drag languidly across your cheek, the brief touch of his rough finger tips sending a shiver down your spine. Your gaze wavered the longer you stayed trapped in this awkward position, your eyes brimming with uncertainty. You seemed unsure of where to look, what to do, how to escape. In his wishful thinking, Zenos wondered if perhaps you were even unsure if you truly wanted to escape.

Amongst your numerous charms, Zenos found your enigmatic personality to be one of your most appealing. Being such a virtuous being, your motivations, ambition, and drive were all easy enough to sort out. You are Hydaelyn’s chosen, the Warrior of Light, the people’s champion, and you live up to those titles and more. You are a hero through and through, a source of salvation for those you protect and a complete nightmare for those that offer opposition. There is no doubt that you are a force to be reckoned with, no matter what the encounter or situation may be.

And what good hero is without a nemesis? It’s a role the disgraced Prince and betrayer of his kin plays well. In his illustrious life he had gone through the motions, donned many hats, played countless roles, many of which were not of his choosing. But of all his grand titles, your adversary is most certainly his favorite, the only one that gives him any sense of pride. Your existence gave him purpose, and for you alone he kept up the hunt.

But he knew it was different for you. Though cut of the same cloth and driven by destiny to engage him, your feelings did not completely align with his own. You were driven by more than barbarity, more than a duty to save your people and your planet. There was something inside of you, something that made you YOU, that he could never truly know, no matter how desperately he wanted to.

You were his greatest conundrum, a true mystery, and when you look at him as you were now with those eyes that swirled with anger, uncertainty, grief, and something yet unspoken… What was he to do but become a slave to this maddening, consuming attraction?

He gloated about being the victor, but it was clear you would always have the upper hand.

“Get off of me.”

The demand brought him back to the present, sheer determination replacing the conflicting emotions that fought for dominance within you. He could tell by the bite in your voice that your vigor was returning, and given a bit more time and provocation, the battle would gloriously resume.

“Eagar to carry on with our dance, are you?” He responded, an almost teasing lilt to his voice, “Or is it that you just can’t stand the thought of defeat at my hands?

“I already told you, you didn’t defeat me,” you glowered, your rage becoming palpable the longer his unwanted presence loomed, “I came here to end this farce and I plan to do just that.”

A beat of silence passed, followed by a sigh. Parting your lips to speak, your voice came out quieter, more desperate than it had previously.

“I wanted to keep this is civil as possible and respect your wishes as best I could, no matter how twisted they may be. But even for your own benefit, you refuse to entertain the notion of making this situation even the slightest bit amicable. You speak of such lofty things as fate and destiny, but all I am witnessing is you causing unnecessary suffering, hiding behind my name to do so.”

For a split second, another flash of uncertainty danced across your features. You bit your bottom lip in vexation, a glimmer lighting your eyes as they swept across his handsome face, “There is more to this world, more to this life, than waiting for its untimely end. To live out your days perpetuating death and blind havoc is no way to exist, it’s a tragedy. Why can’t you see that? Zenos, I-“

As if taken by surprise, you cut your own words short, silencing the previous thought that had been brewing. Zenos felt as if you looked pained, staring at him with pleading eyes, face scrunched up in frustration. Even with all the hate you carried for him, you were still trying to understand him, still clinging to the hope that maybe you could save him too.

Here, on the cusp of annihilation, you were doing all you could to fulfill the role of hero and protect the people that you loved. In order to fulfill that duty, it meant he must be defeated. There could be no other ending, the inexorable conclusion to all of this was always cold and endless death. Whether it would be all of humanities or just his own was still to be determined, but it did little to change the fact that there was no future to plan for, only a violently rapturous and melancholic end.

To be cherished by you, to feel your love as if he were one of your dearest companions… It was a thought not meant to be dwelled on, but one he found hard to completely shake from his head. How would it feel to be earnestly and unequivocally loved by you? Perhaps in another world, another time, your souls would be reborn and given another chance. A fresh beginning to grow together, an opportunity to nurture something more than the misfortune this world had thrust upon you. Maybe in some alternate telling of this tale the two of you were together and happy, with nothing but a bright future awaiting you on the horizon.

But that was simply a foolish daydream. All that he had, all he could hope for, was the here and now.

You sighed again, steeling your resolve with a shake of your head, “Never mind. You have already proven to me mere words cannot move you, so I will save my breath.”

Raising your torso as much as his hold on you would allow, your eyes bore into his, fully accepting the challenge that lay ahead. Though still restrained, there was an aura of dominance that surrounded you. It was a warning to Zenos that your binds were temporary, whether he released you willingly or otherwise was his decision, but regardless the outcome would be the same.

“If it’s the end you want, it’s the end I will bring you,” your soft words clashed with the look of malice reflected in your eyes, your breath fanning his face as your noses nearly touched. For an instant your eyes darted to his lips, and Zenos wondered if it would be you to instigate the kiss this time.

“I will fulfill my role. I will be your end and your salvation.”

Your words pierced him, the proclamation sending sparks of excitement to course through him, igniting his soul. His whole body burned for you, intense and consuming, his need for you was beginning to show itself in ways beyond his control. Pressing his hips flush between your spread legs, he made his intentions known to you, a shiver wracking his body when you released a small gasp of surprise.

Clutching the remaining shreds of his sanity, he grunted as you writhed against his growing arousal, pulling your body up towards him until he had engulfed you in a tight embrace.

“Enough time has been wasted,” he snarled into your neck, his chest rumbling as his grip on you tightened, “let us deliver a ruin unto ourselves so extraordinary, so beautiful, that naught will remain but the scattered fragments of this forsaken world.”

Loosening his grip, he pressed his lips to your forehead in a chaste, yet gentle, kiss. Your brow furrowed at his touch, shoulders tensing as you drew yourself back from him, recoiling at the small display of adoration. He found the reaction endearing, even with his intentions laid bare and and his hardened cock pressed firmly against your core, it was the smallest token of his affection that caused you to squirm.

Repugnance, hatred, scorn- whatever you felt for him in this moment, none of it mattered, none of it deterred him. He loved you, and he would make that love known in the only way he knew how, while he still had time to do so.

“This shall be my final gift to you,” he purred into your ear, his grip latching securely to your tunic. With nimble hands he started to pull, exposing yourself to him bit by bit as the fabric turned to tatters in his hands. “Let us relish it my friend, my warrior, my beloved. Destroy me, and I shall be your devastation in kind. ”

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changingplumbob · 9 months ago

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Glenn’s run on the challenge by @cawthorntales had come to an end. While he was happy that Grayson was getting the man he deserved (@akitasimblr your Clive was a winner from the start!) he felt empty. Leaving Henford on Bagley he had to make his way back home alone. Not even proper home. Phoebus had ordered the coven to shift location again in his absence so while the faces he was heading back to would be familiar the surrounds certainly wouldn't be.

I can hear you narrating you know. You can? *sighs* Just leave me alone

CW for very sad Glenn! You've been warned

*TEXT CHIME*

Don’t you want to check that No. I can’t. My wallpaper is me and Grayson. What if I promised it’s just your grandfather wanting to know how you are? *sniffles* I guess I could call him, I don’t want him to worry

Howard: Hello? Glenn: Hi grandfather Howard: Oh my boy. Are you okay? Did you get the right loading screen? Is the hotel nice? Miranda booked it, I still can’t work computers Glenn: You have other skills grandfather. You’re still the best spellcaster I know

Howard: Better not let Phoebus hear that Glenn: Is he still mad Howard: I mean… he’s leader of your coven, of course he’s upset that you chose to leave for the competition. But between you and I he did want you to win Glenn: I wanted me to win to grandfather *sniffles* Look, I’ll see you tomorrow Howard: Just promise me you’ll look after yourself

Glenn: Yeah… *starts to cry* Howard: Oh kiddo, I know it hurts. That’s how you know you were in love. But you have such a big beautiful heart Glenn. I’m so proud of you for putting yourself out there and I know you did your best Glenn: But it wasn’t enough… Howard: Maybe not this time but- Glenn: *sniffling* I got to go grandfather. I need to find some food and check… stuff Howard: Okay. I love you kiddo, I’m going to give you the biggest hug when you’re back

Glenn hung up and felt his hear sink further with every sob. Sure there was company at home but the company he wanted most lay behind him. With another guy.

Do you have to keep narrating, I'm already depressed! Sorry! It's kind of my job as watcher you know. But I did get you an ice cream machine for the hotel...

Perfect. As a glutton my only companion is food. And even that will leave me I didn't mean- And I can't even be mad you know. Clive is so nice and he was always putting Grayson first. I got distracted by one compliment from Brandon and was on the back foot ever since

And... you ignored his dog I got in my own head too much. I was so worried she'd snap at me I didn't even try. But dogs love you Maybe... I guess I just underestimated how much I'd care about him. As time went on I just became so focused on doing everything right, I wouldn't try for stuff in case I got it wrong

I miss him already. Is that not the most pathetic thing you've ever heard Glenn honey, you're spiraling I mean... I'm happy for him, I am. I wanted him to find someone to love and he did. He deserves all the love in the world does my Stud Muffin. I mean... Clive's Stud Muffin

So what's next? Another challenge to break my heart? My own challenge where I get to make half a dozen people feel this insignificant I mean I don't think everyone that pursued Grayson fell as hard as you Clive did. And they're going to have just the most gorgeous kids You know what I think? I think we need to get you back home with the rest of your coven huh? Have a reset

*sighs* Just... promise me I won't be alone forever I'm going to look after you, promise

Who is that handsome sorcerer in the mirror? Wowee, what a catch! I bet he is also super smart, and super funny, and has really really nice abs...

And so we leave Glenn trying his best to give himself a pep talk before he heads back to the coven. What do you think is next for Glenn? Will he be able to move on or will his coven drive him insane? Can the competition give him a Silver lining?

#sims 4 #the sims #simblr #my sims #ts4 #active simblr #me in real time

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spookythesillyfella · 1 month ago

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Spooky.. I'm BORED and I don't know what to talk about so I'm going to ask YOU personally if you have any song you feel like discussing/dissecting? It can be literally ANYTHING you'd like :D Even if you need to write a whole lot it's truly whatever I'm just super eager to hear about something talk about something HELP I'M SORRY YOU CAN IGNORE THIS ASK COMPLETELY I DON'T MIND!! I love you very much <3 !!!! I FEEL WEIRD SENDING THIS I'M BAD AT APPROACHING INBOXES

AGAIN don't feel forced.. I don't wanna bother you >_< I know I've asked this before and you've delivered I just don't want to keep pestering you about your interests if you don't want it!!

uhmm ... i do have quite a few songz that id REALLY REALLY love to talk about eventually ...

specifically "Farewell Human Relations" – Dobuno Awa with either hv! shrig or brendy . and "Now Our Fates Intertwine" – Dobuno Awa with hv! sketch n tony . but every time id wanted to make a proper analyziz of thoze songz i feel like i just end up falling short ; maybe im getting too dumb to analyze dobuno awa'z songz at thiz point – maybe ive become so stupid that even a simple song analyziz iz hard to write haha

buut . unsurprizingly . i do have a song that id like to talk about unrelated to high voltage – and it would come az no shock in the slightest that itz from the You will never forget me seriez

"An Unfamiliar Successor" – Dobuno Awa [y'know !! the song where itoguchi getz introduced !! :DD]

look . the beginning lyricz of the song literally featurez backwardz text and i . being the idiot of all time . will NOT be racking my brain to try and figure out what it sayz ; im a lazy stupid man but i am free

"Spreading from one sound to another // Let's go to a colorful world" – soo yknow how itoguchi iz kinda sorta the personification of popoz grief [at least from my understanding of it] ? i think thiz iz her inviting popo to go through the process of grieving together – to guide her through it . so to speak

"Born and gone in the blink of an eye // Will such a thing destroy your faith?" – i think "faith" here referez to the faith popo iz to have in herzelf to keep going without michi being by her side anymore ; how popo shouldn't discard it all becauze of thiz traumatic event

"I will never forgive you!" – ill touch up more on thiz line in a bit ; for now . i want u to keep it in mind

"If we stop this right here and now // Then this will be pointless // She was a wonderful child // More so than anyone else" – az someone who doez still struggle a lot with processing their grief . i think thiz iz somewhat true ; if u don't live to remember the people uve lost . ure basically proving their exiztence worthlezz – u live to remember wonderful people . throwing it all away would be a disservice to all that they've done for u [or at least thatz how i see it]

"Now it's time for you to struggle // This is only the beginning // It's cruel // But this is my mission" – itoguchi here iz right again ; overcoming grief and the loss of a beloved perzon can be incredibly hard [and it can still be a long time after they've passed] and . while it iz cruel to make her suffer through all thiz . it iz her mizzion . and one that she mist bring to an end

"I recognized the voice close to my ear. Looking at the delayed video that played back, I instantly realized that it was her voice. Everywhere I looked there was always a screen that became my everyday and brought me color" – thiz iz just a fragment from the wall of text that beginz to rapidly flash on screen but i still think itz very meaningful ; when someone diez . itz like everything suddenly revolvez around them . or rather their absence – u see them everywhere . u hear them everywhere . and the reminder that they aren't anywhere only makez the pain worze . and it makez u search for them in everything all the more

"She was always smiling, and yet that smile always seemed forced. I'm here because she called out to me. I don't know why, but I intuitively understood that she called. I love her, and if it's for her, I could call for anyone" – and when someone diez . especially when they are the onez to terminate their own livez . u start picking up on the signz that led up to it ; u start to think "why . if only i noticed them sooner . i could have stopped all of thiz from happening !!" and . while i believe that iz a nice sentiment – to think ur wordz actually hold a lot of meaning and how support can go a long way . ultimately itz their decizion to go through with their suicide and u can't really do much to deter them from it . no matter what u try

"Even if that was someone who had hurt her. There is only one thing I can do. Hey, murderer, I'm right here. From now on, I'll be nearby, supporting you, since we're both connected to her. But please let me keep on talking about her, okay?" – again . ill get to talk about the symbolizm of thiz in just a tad ; pleaze put a pin in that

"If I can do that she'll never vanish, right? She wants you to never forget her. Though I believe you understand this better than anybody else. It's fine, there's no need to be afraid. Simply don't make any mistakes. Just live forever" – once again . michiz end goal waz that popo would never forget her ; if popo were to die az well . it would've all been for nothing

"But I won't forgive you. I will absolutely never forgive you" – and . with thiz az well stuck to our bulletin board . we can finally move onto my main game theory about thiz song and . more importantly . about itoguchiz character

i think itoguchi iz the perzonification of popoz grief over the loss of michi . just like how madoguchi waz the perzonification of michiz jealouzy towardz popo

i think that itoguchi conztantly calling popo a "murderer" iz popoz own perspective over herzelf – itz her who cauzed michiz suicide . itz her who couldn't save michi . itz her who made michi jealouz to begin with ; popo can never forgive herzelf for the fact michi killed herzelf and now the grief iz going to follow her forever . az long az she livez

and i say that alzo becauze theze two are pretty similar in trying to force the two to face their problemz head-on ; madoguchi tried to get michi to confront herzelf and to realize that her jealouzy over popo iz really just the hatred she holdz for herzelf and how popo haz no fault in thiz whatzoever . and itoguchi makez popo stomach all the memoriez of michi and how she iz never coming back . how shez gone forever and how popo now haz to learn how to cope with the lozz of her best friend

all in all . i think thiz song iz a great portrayal of the grief and guilt that comez with lozing a loved one . especially to suicide ; i really hope popo getz to heal and move on from thiz in future installmentz of the seriez . since i find her relationship with itoguchi to be a very interesting one . and that michiz memory can live on forever

#okay wow can u tell i really love thiz seriez and itz characterz ???#i mean . i already loved itoguchiz character cuz her dezign goez hard #BUT THINKING ABOUT THE FACT SHE PROBABLY REPREZENTZ GRIEF N STUFF ........#that just makez me SICK !!!!!! [/pozitive]#the fact shez an insect probably still tiez in with the symbolizm alzo . but im not very smart when it comez to symbolizm stuff #thiz iz just . my insane brain dump #I LOVE U . ITOGUCHI AND MICHI !!!!!!#I HOPE U GET MORE DEVELOPMENTZ THIZ YEAR !!!!!#X333 #asks #answered asks #spooky's postbox #okay okay thiz waz genuinely kinda fun to write though ? like . i really just like itoguchi – second faverite manipulative insect perzon #teehee #X3

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kaixserzz · 2 years ago

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Hope you've had a great day so far 💓 ( ˃ ⩌˂)∡ because I am NOT!! I'm feeling quite saddened 😓 anyways,, eat THIS‼️

Dottore adores you in ways that cannot be told, all for reasons he himself won't even bother to explain, but you understand him wholly even if he is hard to understand at times. Dottore does care for you in other ways and you notice it, even if he won't verbally state that he cares about you he does express his emotions and words to you in acts of service or quality time. His place as a fatui Harbinger takes up days worth of his time but even he has an issue detaching from his work, for you though? He'd make time. Even if Dottore has loads of responsibilities that the fatui entrust to him as a Harbinger, it's only his own experiments that would him away from you. As he derives his knowledge and satisfaction from his personal work, he can enjoy your presence and antics in the same area. So Dottore had never really without you and you're never without him, not even the fatui can come between you two. As said before, he's never explicitly stated that he caters to your needs because he cares, but you can sense it. That's just how Dottore is, are you contempt with this? Yes. You understand how hard he works, you know how dedicated he is to his work. You've known since you both had attended and shared a dorm together in the Akademiya, this was the way he showed you his affection. You're both contempt with how your relationship is.

As his assistant, though, you still take on many heavy duties aswell. Even you're not safe from the hard labour of the fatui. This leads to some unwanted separation between you and Dottore. You'll be in a whole other continent for a mission and poor Dottore would be left in the lab all alone with his segments! He misses you dearly and it's very apparent. He becomes more antsy and more argumentative, all as he spares no one of his wrath. So with his increase in vindictiveness? Yikes. Even his segments start acting up more just like their creator.

You have no clue of this. You're never informed of this behaviourism. You've never seen Dottore act in such a way because of your absence. Truth be told, though Dottore has a huge temperament and can easily snap at anyone for the most minor of issues, he actually makes an effort to tone those traits of his down, for you. Do you know about this? Maybe. Fellow subordinates have told you of his change of attitude with you nearby, favoritism is what they claimed, in which hearing that made you feel even more assured of Dottore's love for you, but you weren't sure of how he acted when you weren't there, so you had guessed that he is probably just the same as always, just being himself.

Oh, how wrong you are to assume that Dottore would be acting normal without you. You're his person! You are the only one he's ever given a second glance to when back in the Akademiya. You're the reason why everything hasn't gone to hell yet in his lab! Why? Because you are literally the only person who can calm him when he does get pissed off or stressed out.

So when you're back and everything looks the same, you are never more than oblivious to his indifference towards your departures, he actually doesn't do this often as he keeps you cooped you in his lab as much as possible.

.　₊ ✦ .　 + .✦ ₊ ㅤ.✦

Sorry for any typos or mistakes, I am writing this all on phone (- ‸ - " )

I just love the idea of Dottore missing us while we're gone, he just seems like the type to be so cold and demeaning but also the most attentive and yearning for us 😞❤

Does this count as a request? Because I'd love to see you write this in your own style Kai!! I wrote this with male reader in mind ૮꒰ ៸៸៸៸ ก꒱১

- 🐠

AAAA 🐠 ANON THIS IS LITERALLY HOW I WRITE DOTTORE

in my head, dottore is so obsessed with you and he doesn't even realize this :( he's super in love and clingy in his own way that when you leave for a while, he doesn't know why he's so pissy AHAHAHA he thinks its because someone is annoying him so some poor fatui soldiers meets the end of his wrath for absolutely no reason ..

but i swear dottore is SOOO different when he's with you!! it just, kinda stuck since you've known each other so long, its just comes off so natural that you both dont even notice it!! dottore coos at you while he caresses your cheek? not weird at all, but for others it is! you lightly punch him in the arm? just something you usually did especially back at the akademiya. i think it'd be funny if you're like "my baby ain't that bad" because you have no idea how he acts when you're away 🥺🥺

when you're away, he'd always go to your shared chambers and just look at the pictures you've framed of the two of you together... or he'd be too distracted to continue on with his projects just thinking about you... he could be doing something, then something pops up and makes him think about you and he's distracted for the whole day :3 he says he's not into the sappy nostalgic bullshit because it's a waste of time but between you and him? he reminisces more of the past than you actually do. he just remembers them so clearly!! like it just happened yesterday!! each touch and affections etched so deeply into his mind it's impossible to forget !! he's romantic in his own ways i guess..

and when you come back?? he'd always complain if you don't come greet him first!! he's soo jealous when you greet the segments before him.. but he's suupperr touchy and refuses to let you leave his side for the rest of the week :3 you're not gonna receive any order from the fatui for a while and you're staying with him and him only!! to make up for the time you were goen yk??? but he's 10000% deny he misses you. well, depends on his mood!1

ik you said rq nonnie but YOU KINDA LAID IT ALL OUT FOR ME!! so i just added my thoughts ^^ srry :( BUT I WILL WRITE A DOTTIE FIC FOR YOU <3

#˚₊໒🩰꒱kai talks₊˚#˚₊໒🐠꒱anon₊˚#╰┈➤ il dottore #dottore x reader #genshin x reader #genshin impact x reader #genshin impact #il dottore x reader #ALSO PLLSS BRAIN ROT TO ME :(#im super fucking into alhaitham childe and dottie rn like my head is about to explode #wanderer too actually

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pokemenlovingmen · 2 years ago

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Hello!! I keep reading your ingo writing and man I love how you write him;; I am so gay for this man the closet is made of glass. Also MALE READER BLOG!!! PUNCHING THE AIR IN JOY AND GOING STIMMY MODE RN!!! AND RUN BY A TRANSMASC MOD!! JUST LIKE ME FR!!!!

I wanna request while I have the chance, I was thinking Ingo and a s/o with an overprotective Houndoom? I absolutely love Houndooms because 1: they look like my dog irl, and 2: big dogy :] ;; i just think it’d be cute and kinda funny to see Ingo try and win over his boyfriend’s big and mildly threatening dog.

Tysm!! <33

I… have nothing to say for myself for my absence. Life has been painful. I’m so so sorry my friend, your request has been the one I’ve been sitting on all this time.

But omg you’re so sweet thank you for the compliments!! I’m glad that you like my Ingo, he and Emmet are both written by me to lean unashamedly into hard autism territory so maybe that’s what it is lol.

And wow tbh I was considering not including that I was transmasc (still a bit… nervous in gay male spaces as someone who’s transmasc. I know it isn’t true, but I’m so worried of being perceived as not a man or less of a man in those spaces.) but I’m glad I did because I’ve pulled so many trans guys in to visit this blog and!! Big solidarity!! I’m giving each and every one of you a Platonic Kiss on the head

Meeting the Real Boss — Ingo x male Houndoom trainer Reader

⚫️ — Don’t let that serious face fool you, Ingo is just as soft and sappy as his more emotive brother. When he fell for you—that mysterious stranger who shook up the Super Singles Line that fateful day, he fell hard.

⚫️ — You were seen around Nimbasa the following days, but Ingo assumed you were just visiting, as he’d never seen you in the area before. So time to talk to you was limited, at least in his eyes. That was enough of an excuse to get him to give up and write you off as a passing fancy—but it was not enough of an excuse for Emmet who, the moment he found out his brother had developed a crush on one of the challengers, would stop at nothing to get you two talking. (Because he can lack all the social skills he wants and have as little confidence as any grown man could have in his speaking ability, but if it meant getting his dear brother a boyfriend, Emmet would turn into a social savant right then and there.)

⚫️ — So yeah, your relationship with Ingo started out interacting with Emmet more, mainly because every time Emmet not at ALL subtly dragged his brother over to talk to you, Ingo genuinely couldn’t look you in the eyes.

⚫️ — But eventually you guys got together via bonding through—how else?—battling! There was a love language Ingo could get behind, and after your repeat challenges became a constant thing at the Battle Subway, sometimes multiple times a day, he finally worked up the nerve to ask you out after telling himself he’d do so if he won your battle today. He did, and one nervous coffee date later, you two actually managed to start properly talking without needing Emmet (Emmet, of all people, even HE is shocked!) as the middleman.

⚫️ — All is well. You both share a great passion for battling—of course—and you find all his little quirks from his loud voice to stone face adorable. You definitely know you’re onto something real when you actually make him happily stim in public after saying he looks so cute and excited when he talks about the subway, something Ingo has tried incredibly hard to iron out through all the masking he’s done all his life. To be honest, you absolutely have him wrapped around your finger, but it’s okay, because you’re a total fool for him as well and would do anything to make him happy.

⚫️ — But as you two begin pondering how to define your relationship, wondering if it’s time to make things official, your Houndoom starts to realize Ingo is going to be more and more of a presence in your life as much more than a casual friend. And he takes issue with that.

⚫️ — Houndoom was always fine with Ingo before. The thrill of battling on the subway and having such worthy opponents was something you could tell Houndoom savored, which made it all the stranger that he began getting worryingly aggressive around Ingo.

⚫️ — You wanted to ask him to be your boyfriend officially a few times now, only for Houndoom to intrude by putting himself between you and Ingo, growling all the while as if he could sense what you were about to ask and did not like it.

⚫️ — Houndoom means well, he really does. He knows what happens when humans get close like this and knows that if you and Ingo continue down that path, he’ll be in your life all the time. Maybe even where you live. Maybe sleeping beside you. There to see you at your best and your worst and, most concerningly, your most vulnerable. But you only met recently, and even if his Pokemon seem to indicate he’s trustworthy, that doesn’t mean anything! You’re a part of the pack to Houndoom, and he is not about this total stranger (at least, a total stranger by his standards) being a permanent fixture in your life. How on earth could he earn the right to be by your side so easily? No, you’re part of his pack, and Houndoom is hellbent to keep you safe from the encroaching outsider.

⚫️ — (Does he completely miss how happy Ingo makes you? A bit—the protectiveness fogs up his perception, okay? And even if he does make you happy, Houndoom thinks the month and a half or so you’ve known each other for is not long enough to just welcome Ingo into the family with open arms.)

⚫️ — Ingo is… troubled, to say the least. He’s worried your Pokemon disliking him will make you dislike him, which you assure him otherwise. Even still, the Houndoom line is not native to Unova and Ingo knows very little about it, therefore he has absolutely no idea how to proceed. Unova has the Growlithe and Lillipup families, but they’re much more good-natured than this. Still, he loves you, and while he’s worried about causing friction with you and your Pokemon, your assurances that he’s fine are (relatively) enough to spur him to try and make peace with Houndoom.

⚫️ — Treats were some of the first things he tried, to minimal success. The only reason Houndoom let him into the house that day at all was because you begged and pleaded for him to lay off your boyfriend, and even then he watched you two like a hawk. Treats Ingo brought and Houndoom’s favorite snacks that you already had in the home did nothing to persuade him. Attempts to play? No. And Ingo knows better than to even think about petting him.

⚫️ — Eventually Ingo just starts rather desperately trying to exist around your Houndoom’s wrath. He loves you and doesn’t want to break the news but. Your Houndoom scares him.

⚫️ — You can’t say he didn’t try, though.

⚫️ — But then! One day, you get sick. It’s a pretty nasty stomach bug that lasts for a day but wreaks havoc while it’s there. You’re practically bed-bound from the severe nausea, but Ingo is there the entire time, fretting over you and caring for you like any good boyfriend should. Houndoom’s prerogative is the same. He’s worried for you and wants you to feel better. So while Ingo is bringing you plenty of fluids, nausea medication, blankets and pillows, Houndoom is there to cuddle up and keep you warm and calm. It’s just that… it’s very hard for Ingo to care for you when Houndoom won’t leave your side and growls whenever he gets close.

⚫️ — This time, though, Ingo doesn’t shy away. He’s too worried for you and even though Houndoom is being incredibly threatening and there is a part of him a bit worried for his own safety, he brushes right past Houndoom’s huffing and puffing to keep caring for you. He brings you water and helps lift the bottle to your lips while Houndoom snarls. He sits at the bedside and dabs at your face with a damp towel while getting death glares. His need to be wary of your Pokemon is greatly outweighed by his need to take care of you. Essentially, they’re both fighting for the role of your primary caretaker.

⚫️ — Time goes on, though, and Houndoom definitely notices how his snarling and snapping isn’t stopping Ingo from aiding you. And after all these negative interactions, Houndoom is finally stifling his concerns and instead just quietly watching. Then helping. He and Ingo have a common goal here. And while Ingo is certainly surprised to find the defensive Fire-type suddenly aiding him, it’s a welcome change. In seeing his dedication to you at your most vulnerable, Houndoom has at last deemed the Subway Master as a worthy partner.

⚫️ — While you’re sick, they continue working together to care for you until their own energy is spent. You wake up in the morning, a bit sweaty and nauseous, but otherwise feeling far better. And you look over to the foot of the bed where Houndoom usually curls up to see Ingo right there with him, resting his head on Houndoom’s side—the both of them are fast asleep, knocking out together after such long and dedicated day caring for you while you were sick. The hostility Houndoom regards Ingo with seems completely gone as he lets him rest against him to sleep. You can’t remember much of what happened last night, but you know both of your boys here were caring for you with all the love in the world…

⚫️ — And though you had been thinking this about Ingo for a while now, seeing Houndoom accept him at last really solidified the fact that Ingo was “the one”.

#pokemon x reader #pokemon male reader #ingo x reader #ingo x male reader #male reader #mlm #pokemon imagines #houndoom

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angelkiller666 · 1 year ago

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Where i had been. (APOLOGY and UPDATE)

ok....so, imma just get straight to it and say that i am VERY sorry for my long unannounced Hiatus, a LOT of personal stuff has happened within my family, and i ain't gonna get too personal or else this will be too long to type. just know that i am DEEPLY sorry for my absence, i'm alive, i'm ok, nothing SUPER horrible happened, but do understand that i may STILL be in Hiatus after this, so please bare that, but do understand that i'm not going anywhere, and just took a mental break that ended up becoming more than just for mental reasons. also MASSIVE BROKEN BONE/SURGERY TRIGGER WARNING!!!! if you are sensitive to broken bones, surgery, stitches and blood, idk what to tell you but to just skip the pics that will be presented here on this journal, and i'm sorry if it makes you uncomfortable, but please bare with me and take my advice, if you can't handle it, i understand if you don't read this update, it's fine. but please don't come after me for it. alright, onto the first part: depression's a bitch! and so it art block and burn out, especially when your family's struggling with a lot of stuff and you gotta be there to help them out. which is exactly in my case. my mother (gonna keep it vague and quick) was getting sick multiple times and she was on high risk of possibly not living another year after her diagnosis. (spoilers: SHE SURVIVED and is not very sick anymore! she's alive and well!) so during the time she was sick, i had to do many house chores, dinner and sanitizing in the house because my mom obviously really needed it. but it's hard to do that when you have a schizophrenic and NARSSISISTIC sibling who REFUSES to help out and make you do all the work while lazing on their ass all day.....which was also my case. (also spoilers: my brother has gotten better now and has sought treatment from the mental hospital and isn't as bad as he was anymore. i'm not dunking or hating on him, just understand that there are issues that went too far, but were thankfully handled well by the professionals.) so through out most of the time, i was just struggling to keep everything together and has at least succeeded in such.....until one day, about....3-4 or maybe 5 weeks ago, i broke my ankle while i was in the middle of exercising. (idk how long, this is just a guess on my part) (DOUBLE WARNING AND TRIGGER WARNING REMINDER!: if you are easily triggered or uncomfortable at the topics of broken bones, stitches, surgery, blood or any of that, SKIP THE PHOTOS or STOP READING if you are not able to handle it. YOU HAVE BEEN WARNED!)

i won't get into too much details, but just know that i went through hell for a bit. here's where i first broke my ankle:

in total, i broke my ankle in 8 PLACES! i know, i have no idea how either, i guess i just had shitty luck i guess: https://cdn.discordapp.com/attachments/901237515577618506/1205540327855882300/SPOILER_IMG_6101.jpg?ex=65d8bdec&is=65c648ec&hm=85c626e0d90ae067952a9653ac37767253156fe55905de373ba51f5d05cb4cd5& i had to wait a whole day to be admitted to surgery, which sucked as hell because i couldn't sleep thanks to the pain. but hey, at least i get to finally get some rest with the pain killers after surgery. (i think it was 7 or 9 screws welded into my bones at the moment) https://cdn.discordapp.com/attachments/901237515577618506/1205540514678571069/SPOILER_IMG_6098.jpg?ex=65d8be18&is=65c64918&hm=6befdf49153a8bd4895d43baf9613f211b600bfa60b8a98587b5c3d775a9dfd3& i spent the next 2 or 3 weeks in a cast (and still am, just a brand new one, it feels more comfy than the last) but i finally get to stay in bed without feeling like utter shit and got to sleep a lot to gain back my energy: https://cdn.discordapp.com/attachments/901237515577618506/1205539682251706518/f1028ba1-e18d-4edc-b1a9-289b3ad7e588.jpg?ex=65d8bd52&is=65c64852&hm=28bf9a0626cea54467a02863815c5a528d60e24fb54a799b3d27ae38b38bf3b7&

last week, when i got to get a new cast and see how my leg was doing, i had a BUNCH of stitches, and even though it barely hurt when they took off my old cast....it was a sight to see:

i don't have a pic of the new cast, but i'm doing well, thank god. this week is when i get my stitches removed and maybe after another few weeks or so, i'll get the metal and screws out soon, but i just know i'll be in a cast for a LONG while. ok! so that's what was going on during my unannounced Hiatus. a lot of things happened, but i had been doing rehab in walking in my walker and scooter to get around the house, i don't feel pain as much as i do anymore, mom is doing a lot better and so is my brother. i am planning on returning soon, it just may take awhile. thank you to those for reading and understanding my situation, i promise, i got new art in the works and soon, hopefully, i'll finally be able to celebrate my 500 follower milestone! (in Deviant Art) i hope you all have been doing well, and can't wait to start posting again!

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yeahimaloser · 4 years ago

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Hi lovely! I adore your writing style and noticed you were taking requests. This is my first request ever so if it comes off a little awkward please forgive me! 👉👈

I was hoping for a scenario where Hawks has been wondering why y/n has been skipping out on get-togethers with him for the past week or two. He gets curious enough one day that he just-so-happens to patrol the area where you run off to after you reject another date with him.

He finds out that you have been going to an outdoor avian clinic and taking classes on how to pamper/massage or preen bird wings in order to surprise Hawks for your anniversary coming up.

But not like totally before Hawks confronts you and blurting out “Have you been cheating on me with a parrot?” 😂

Thank you! I hope this all makes sense. Hugs and kisses!

Hello there!! You are so sweet! and you didn’t come off awkward at all! <3

I am so sorry I didn’t actually mean for this to become an angst fic in the beginning ;-;

but it is fluffy don’t worry!

warnings: avian Keigo (Keigo having bird like tendencies)

Also I schedule this to be a bit later than I normally post, I’ll most likely be asleep when this goes up so I just wanted to say to everyone thank you for reading!!

word count: 3.3k

------

He tapped his foot against the floor of the restaurant, his patience deteriorating every second as he stared at the door.

As the fastest hero, Keigo never really had any patients for just about anything. One thing he hated more than anything was people being late, he moved fast, he wanted people to move fast with him.

All he wanted to do was go on a nice date night, have some dinner, and go home and watch a movie or something. He just wanted to spend time with you.

You normally never skipped out on dates, so why now?

He had noticed your absence in the last few weeks, more and more you would skip out on him.

The anxiety bubbling in his heart was starting to spill over, seeping into his attitude in daily life. In his head, he wondered if maybe you were trying to signal to him that you weren’t interested in dating anymore, that maybe you were just silently drifting from him. But he loved the 11 months he got to spend with you, he’d never experienced anything like it. It was fresh, new, loving, he didn’t want it to end. Those thoughts had made him feel miserable for the last week or so, but he was still confused by you. Although you skipped out on dates and such, you still acted so lovingly towards him. You would still come home and snuggle up to him, you would still run your fingers through his hair at night, you would still talk mindlessly about your day, as though nothing was remotely bothering you.

So, maybe you really were busy, perhaps he was just looking too much into the issue.

But still, getting stood up for the 4th time in a row would make anyone a bit upset.

He left the restaurant, paying for the drink he had ordered, and went on his way home.

Maybe it was a side effect of his quirk, but when he had these sorts of thoughts his wings would get all twitchy. He had done the research and found that when birds were in a high-stress situation they plucked at their feathers. The article also said that when a person that said a bird was attached to someone that abandons them, they get even more stressed and irritated. Which he supposed made sense. He would never admit it to very many people, (and if the press got a hold of it he would honestly shoot himself) but he had some bird tendencies.

Not big ones, just small ones.

He would bob his head in time with music sometimes, his pupils would dilate and contract when he was concentrating on something, he would mindlessly coo and cluck randomly as well.

Luckily, the commission taught him to control his bird-like tendencies, they told him that some of his bird traits were “off-putting”. But he really wasn’t sure what they were talking about, animal quirks weren’t uncommon, but he didn’t complain, he didn’t mind the help.

But since he’s been dating you, he found himself getting more and more of these tendencies.

A few times, he would find random shiny objects and give them to you, he acted all excited about it too, saying, “I saw it and thought that you could keep it! It’s super pretty so, I don’t know, I thought you’d think it was cool.” After he said that, you just took the objects and told him he was so adorable.

Another time, when you two were just out and about, he had seen you talk to someone with a similar bird quirk to his. He didn’t even know what came over him, but he squawked at the man, effectively freaking him and you out.

He apologized profusely after that.

There was one bird-like quality he didn’t mind all that much, and that was the preening of his feathers. It was honestly so relaxing, the dirt and dust from flying seeped into his feathers, so he always found himself soaking his wings in water and then rubbing them with a special kind of oil.

There were some days, however, were all he could do (or all he had time to do) was take a warm towel and gently rub off his feathers.

And lately, he had found himself going overboard with his preening, pulling more aggressively at his feathers, sometimes even hurting himself. He suspected that it was due to the stress of worrying about what was wrong with you (or him).

He hated all of it, loathed it even. Worse was how hard it was for him to broach the subject with you, whenever he got close he always wussed out. In his mind, even though it bothered him, he didn’t want to lose you. He was so scared that if he brought it up he would hear something he dreaded, and you two would fall apart.

He loved you so much, he wanted you to stay with him. Another bird trait he learned, some birds mated for life, and he would be lying if he said he didn’t feel that way about you. He just...he didn’t want to lose you.

There was one possibility that was the worst, and yet the most likely. You had been cheating on him.

He really didn’t want to admit it, but it all sort of added up.

You skipped out on dates so you could go out with this other person. When you would become affectionate with him could be a sign of guilt, he read about that online. And the way you wouldn’t see his texts or missed calls when he knew you were on a lunch break, maybe you were seeing someone else.

Was he a bad boyfriend? He thought that he had become better at this whole relationship stuff, maybe not perfect, but he was getting there. He knew he was hard to deal with, he wished he could be better for you, he really did. He knew he was busy a lot, tired from work, he knew he wasn't the most affectionate guy, but he wanted you, he wanted you so much it hurt. Keigo thought that you loved him because he really loved you.

The thought of having to let you go crushed his heart crushed his spirit too. He really did care for you, he knew that you were the one for him, so the thought of you not returning that feeling hurt him.

He flew through the night sky, looking down at the lights of the city. Normally, a sight like this would have made him smile, made him feel like he was on top of the world.

But his wings just felt uncomfortable, the wind blowing through them just increased the feeling.

He just felt… done. Like the whole world felt heavy to him. Maybe he really was overthinking everything, but he couldn’t help it, he was made to be observant.

He knew he had a strange habit of over-complicating things, but it was just his nature he supposed. A trained government agent always has to look into the fine details, at least, that's what he was taught. So, with your absence, he found himself becoming more and more paranoid.

He brought it up to his side-kicks and hero friends, and they all said the same thing; he was just being paranoid. They told him that, “sometimes in relationships, things get a little rough, it happens.” But Keigo couldn’t help but hate the whole ordeal.

He sighed, flying faster to his home.

One time, he had tried to follow you on your lunch break. He supposed it was pretty stalkerish, but he was getting desperate. All he needed was reassurance, just to know if you were actually busy or if that had been a bullshit excuse. He told himself it wasn’t a huge deal, he was just making sure you were doing ok.

...ok maybe it was a bit of a breach of privacy.

He had perched himself on top of a building near your workplace. Keigo had made sure that you wouldn’t be able to see him as he followed you, keeping out of sight as best he could.

His initial thought was you would go to a coffee shop, maybe some sort of expensive restaurant if you were meeting someone.

Yet, to his surprise, he saw you scarf down a sandwich as you entered an animal clinch.

Were you cheating on him with an animal clinch employee?

He wanted to confront you then and there, but from where he was, he didn’t have any reason to.

It looked innocent enough, you were just going to an animal clinch.

He immediately felt guilty. There was no reason for him not to trust you, you had done nothing wrong in this situation. Maybe you really were working overtime and he was just overthinking everything.

He shook his head, sighing, he unfolded his wings and flew off the building he was perched on.

That was a week ago, it was after the third time you stood him up. And now, although he didn’t have any proof of you cheating, he still felt like he had a reason to confront you. He just felt sick of worrying and overthinking everything, and in all honesty, you weren’t helping the situation. Every time he asked you about it, you always came up with some sort of excuse.

He landed on his balcony with a loud thump, not caring all that much about the noise.

As he entered his home, he lifted the hem of his shirt off his head, throwing it on the floor unceremoniously. Walking over to the bathroom, he filled a special bowl full of water and made his way back over to the bed.

It was probably a bad idea to preen himself when he was so aggravated like this, but he wanted to do it, his wings felt so uncomfortable.

His right-wing raised a bit as he sat down, pulling the feathered stump closer to him.

But before he could even graze the feathers with a damp cloth he had, he heard the front door open and close.

Before he had even realized it, he was already zooming down the staircase of his luscious penthouse, knowing full well you were already inside of his home.

“Hi honey,” you slipped your shoes off, not looking at him yet. “How was your day- Oh,” he crossed his arms over his chest, he was sure his expression was one of utmost anger.

“Where were you,” his tone was irritated, his wings twitched behind him.

“I was working. Baby what's wrong,” he nearly rolled his eyes at your concerned tone.

“Don’t baby me, you stood me up,” he huffed, “again.”

He didn’t miss the sorry expression that flashed on your face, “Kei, I’m sorry, I really am. I’ve just been so busy lately. I know I haven’t been fair to you, but I’m not doing anything tomorrow! Look I’ll even make dinner for you, ok? Really, Kei, I’m ”

“Y/N,” here it came, “if your gonna break up with me, just do it already

Well, that certainly shocked you (and him if he was being honest). Your whole expression fell into one of confusion, your eyes looked up at him with genuine hurt.

“What? Keigo what are you talking about? You’re not making any sense, why would I want to break up with you?”

“I don’t know Y/N?! Why have you been avoiding me for so long!?”

You sighed, “Is that what this is all about? Well,” you pulled out some sort of form, reaching it out to him, “here, I wanted to surprise you on our anniversary, but I don’t want you to think that I’m doing something dishonest.”

He snatched the piece of paper out of your hand, maybe a bit too harshly. He looked at it and was immediately confused.

It was information on a class about… how to preen birds?

He gave you a confused look, to which you gave him a light smile, “I see how frustrating it is for you to preen them, so I wanted to help out. I saw that I could learn how and thought it would be a cute thing for us to do together.”

He stood in shock for a few moments, letting the guilt wash over him.

“I-I’m so sorry.”

You chuckled a bit, “Don’t be, it was wrong of me to leave you high and dry on dates, I just had to work overtime in order to get these classes in.”

Now, he felt twice as guilty.

This whole time he had thought you were drifting away from him, and worse, he thought you were cheating on him. He felt sick. His friends were right, he really was overthinking the whole situation. And worst of all, you were working overtime to do something so nice for him, and here he was, yelling at you.

“I-I’m so sorry, Y/N. Jesus,” he shook his head, “I’m an idiot. You were off doing something so thoughtful for me, and I was being a prick, yelling at you. I’m sorry honey. Is there something I can do to make it up to you?”

But you just chuckled, “Keigo, really, it’s ok. I should have at least done something to convince you, or rescheduled our dates. It’s ok honey, don’t feel bad.”

You moved in to give him a hug, which just happened to be the moment you realized his shirt was missing.

“Uh,” he saw your body straighten up, and your face makes a flustered expression, “why is your shirt…”

“Oh, well,” he scratched his feathers nervously, “it’s kinda funny, I was just about to preen my wings. So I have to take off my shirt in order to get the water to the back. Kind of a weird coincidence, huh.”

“Well,” you looked at him, eyes softening, “can I help?”

Keigo was sure his heart had frozen, after a moment or two, he answered, “S-sure.”

-----

You pulled a stool for him to sit on as you sat down on the bed.

Keigo wasn’t sure why, but he felt so anxious. To tell the truth, he never really had someone preen his wings before. He would always do it himself, it was an annoying effort sometimes, but the commission was very big on him looking good for the public eye.

His wings weren’t super sensitive, but the light touches of your fingers running through them felt like pure heaven to him. The sensation was like having someone giving a message, but… different. It felt nicer, more loving, more slow and nice.

The whole sensation made him shutter.

“Is this ok,” he didn’t miss the anxiety in your tone.

“Yeah,” he said, breathlessly. “Perfect, keep...keep doing that babe.”

The little pulls of his feathers relaxed him more and more, making him seep into the back of the stool he was sitting on.

When you had started to add water to the mix, he didn’t notice his cooing.

“Kei?”

“Hmm,” his mind was so far gone in the relaxation of your hands that he barely registered your voice.

“Are you cooing,” you had to suppress your smirk as his body went rigid, as well as his wings.

“I,” his face was almost as deep red as his wings, “s-sorry.”

You giggled, “Don’t apologize,” you pressed softly into the apex of some of his feathers, “if it feels good, it’s fine if you coo. I won't judge you.”

Softly, he let out a few coos, but he didn’t want to freak you out.

But soon, he realized he couldn’t keep them in, you were just doing so well.

You moved softly to grab his feather oil, “Uh, so how does this even work? Do I take a few drops and run them through each individual feather or something?”

You’ve seen him preen his wings before, but until recently you had just started to pay attention to how he exactly did them. You had noticed that the oil he used on his feathers gave a shine to the red plumage, but you had noticed he was a bit cautious with the serum.

“O-oh,” you didn’t miss the light stutter and the soft up-take of his voice, “Um, if you want you can just put a few drops in your hand and rake them through. You don’t have to do each one if you don’t want to.”

You thought for a moment, “Alright, I think I’ll just do each feather. I wanna get this right after all.”

And, honest to god, Keigo gulped.

You’ve never seen him this relaxed and yet so tense, you would have thought he was drugged. You would be lying if you didn’t enjoy it though, the way Keigo melted into you, it was weirdly adorable.

“Yeah,” he let out, “yeah ok.”

After that, it was like Keigo could barely talk.

For a moment, you considered something. When you and Keigo had started to date, you had noticed how he was a bit touch-starved. He craved affection, whether he was aware of this or not, you weren’t sure.

But it made sense, his childhood past, and plus, this was his first real relationship. You wondered if Keigo had ever been shown so decent, honest love before.

Perhaps his bird instincts also played a part in how affectionate he could be. You read once, that when male birds became attached to their mates they tended to get affectionate as well as loving. Plus, some birds preened their mates as a show of love, you wondered if what Keigo was doing was just his way of showing how happy he was with you preening him.

After you were done, Keigo’s head was light and tired. The whole experience for him felt magical, he wasn’t sure why though. He preened himself a bunch of times, why was this the first time he felt this way?

But Keigo’s head couldn’t really process the question at the moment.

“You wanna go to sleep,” you asked, bringing your hands lightly over his shoulders, kissing his forehead.

He let out a small, “Mhm,” as he stood up. You had to help him to his bed because of how wobbly he was.

After you carefully helped him into bed, you turned to go to the bathroom to wash your hands, but Keigo dragged you down.

“No,” he whined softly as you tried to get out of his grip, “cuddles.”

(You couldn’t lie, this had to be the most adorable thing you’ve ever seen him do)

He nuzzled into you, his body flushed against yours.

That’s when you heard it, the little chips. You didn’t say anything, scared that if you did he would stop. You played with his hair as he chirped into your neck, his wings shivered a bit.

You decided to ask him, “Hey, Kei.”

He hummed lightly.

“I’ve never seen you like this, does it have something to do with your bird instincts?”

Keigo thought for a moment, “Maybe,” his voice was light you noticed, “it could be. Kinda just something I experience because that’s what birds do with their...mates.”

You chuckled, running your hands through his wings again, “Maybe it’s because you're also, like, really touch starved.”

“Oh yeah, maybe. I mean,” he looked at you, like a lovesick puppy, “you are my first time in a real relationship.”

You laughed lightly, going back to lightly stroking his hair and feathers.

“Hey Y/N,” Keigo’s voice was tired, and yet, it was soft.

“Yeah honey,” you asked in an equally gooey voice.

He nuzzled in closer to you, giving you a soft, yet deep kiss, “I love you.”

#bnha hawks #hawks x reader #mha keigo takami #hawks x y/n #keigo takami #mha keigo x reader #keigo takami x reader #mha fanfiction #keigo x reader #hawks imagine #hawks headcanons #hawks reader insert #keigo x y/n

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hyunsuks-beanie · 4 years ago

Text

Running Away With You

*Image Credits to rightful owners*

Bang Chan x reader; non idol AU; established relationship; fluff; midly suggestive at places

Word Count: 4.25k

A/N: A huge thank you to @youn9racha, for this super cute request. I am as much a sucker for road trips as I am for Chan, so I really enjoyed writing this!! I hope you like it as much as I did.

"Do you ever just want to pack your bags and run away in the night, without telling anyone?," you ask your boyfriend, Chan, as you both lay in bed one night. "That's an interesting question," he says, playing with your hair, "Though first I'd like to know what made you think of that." "Pfft. It's nothing too complex, Christopher. It's just a random thought that popped into my head," you say, while rolling your eyes at his inquisitive nature.

"Y/N, I know you, and I can sense that you've got something bothering that pretty head of yours, and making you want to run away. So tell me, what is it?," Chan speaks in a soothing tone, making you snuggle into his chest even more, while letting out a sigh. "It's just, work has been so crazy these past few days, and the pressures of the real world are getting to me. You remember when we were back in college? Whenever things got too hard, we used to go on road trips to clear our heads. Even a couple days away from the harsh real life were enough to rejuvenate us. I guess I just miss those times, now that real life responsibilities are wearing us down."

Once you're done with your little rant, Chan pulls your head up a little, making you look at him. He softly says, "Aww baby, I'm so sorry I didn't realize you've been struggling these past few days. I guess I've been too busy with my own work tonoticee. I know we're no longer in college, but I promise to you, that whenever the going gets tough, I'll do everything in my ability to help your through." "I know Channie, I know. I have you, and it's more than enough."

You give in to sleep after a while, and so, you fail to notice that Chan takes a little longer to fall asleep that night. He keeps thinking back on what you said earlier, carrying out an internal debate with himself. "Y/N is right. Work and responsibilities have taken a toll on us, and a road trip may be just what we need. But can we really afford to just 'run away?' There are too many projects, too many commitments. And we owe it to our colleagues to tell them that we will be away for a few days," he thinks to himself, before slowly drifting off to dreamland.

The next morning brings with itself a fresh hustle, but your face doesn't betray any sign of the frustrations you let come to the surface last night. But Chan knows better, and, seeing his reflection while getting ready for work, he realizes that his own expression mirrors yours. A thin veil to hide the fact that it's getting too much. At his office that day, he can't seem to focus on his work, since his mind keeps drifting back to your words. By the time the evening rolls around, he has made up his mind. He's going to run away with you, for a week anyway.

But a road trip needs some planning, and Chan wants this vacation to be the perfect little surprise for you. So, on his way home, he stops by at the convenience store to buy some essentials. Instant noodles, a few bottles of beer, disposable utensils, rental DVDs, he collects quite a few things, being reminded of your college days with each item he adds to his cart. In a moment of impulse, he even purchases a tent fit for two, and once he's done shopping, he hides everything in the boot of his car. You don't need to know of his plan, yet.

The following day, he leaves his office early, calling in a week's leave of absence due to some made-up reason. Instead of going home, he first drops by at your office. Not to meet you, but to get a similar application for leave approved on your behalf.

He finally heads back home to pack and ready a couple of things for your trip. "Y/N wanted to run away in the middle of the night, and that is what we'll do," he smiles to himself. When you come home, he remains tight-lipped about his little surprise for you, even though his excitement is trying to get the best of him.

Once the clock strikes twelve, he brings you out to his car, without telling you the reason. "Just please, come on! Don't you trust me?," he says, pouting. On his way out of the house, he picks up your phone from the couch, along the house keys. You don't notice this, however, as you're busy pestering him with questions. "Chan, why are we going out so late at night? What's going on? Tell me!" "You wanted to run away, right? Well, how about running away...... to the convenience store?," he smiles cheekily, making you giggle. "Gosh you're such a cheesy idiot," you say, getting into the car, still blissfully unaware of his intentions.

"Yeah, but I'm your cheesy idiot," he laughs, pressing his foot on the accelerator.

It doesn't take you long to realize that instead of driving over to the 24/7 close to your house, Chan has pulled onto the highway. You turn to look at him, only to see him smiling brightly, his eyes trained ahead. "Chan, what are you doing?," you ask, though feel like you already know the answer. "Running away with you," he says, taking your hand in his his, and bringing it up to his lips.

"What? But that was just a random rant! And what about work? We can't just disappear like that," you exclaim, to which, he only replies by giving you a knowing look. "Let me guess, you already informed our offices?" "Yes, and no," he quips. When you look at him quizzically, he elaborates, "I submitted applications for leave, making up some random excuse. So we have a whole week to ourselves." "But, what about essentials and supplies? We don't have anything to eat," you try to reason. He counters, "Babe, I've been planning this for two days, and I already stocked up on all our favourite snacks, drinks, and movies. I even got us a tent for days we want to sleep out in the open. I've got it all set, so don't you worry. The only thing I need you to do is to promise me that for the next seven days, you won't check your phone. I've already downloaded tons of songs and created at least 20 different playlists. You won't be getting any work-related messages, since I've taken care of that as well, and for directions, we'll take the traditional way, and ask around."

"Directions? Where exactly are we going anyway?," is your next question. To your surprise, he simply shrugs, before telling you that he doesn't have any specific place in mind. "Let's just wander away, going wherever the road takes us," he says, rather poetically, to which, you can't help but laugh. You then let out a soft sigh, making him look at you. "Sounds like a plan to me. Chan and Y/N, running away together, with no destination in mind," you smile, before reaching over and kissing his cheek.

"Let's play some music, shall we?," you ask, before hitting shuffle on the first playlist that pops up on your phone. You both settle in a comfortable silence, and soon enough, you begin to get drowsy. Chan notices this, and tells you to rest your eyes for a bit. "Promise to wake me up in like, two hours, so that I can take over the wheel," you yawn. "Okay fine bub, now sleep." Chan continues driving, occasionally stealing glances at your sleeping form. "How did I get so lucky?," he wonders, just like he does every day.

Morning finds you to be the one behind the wheel, as Chan naps contently in the passenger seat. The brightness of the sun finally wakes him up, and he realizes that you've left the highway, and are now driving through what appears to be the countryside. "I wonder where we're headed," he says while yawning. "Well, a signboard I saw earlier told me that we are somewhere in Jeonju," you reply. Instead of words, Chan's reply comes as a grumbling from his stomach. "Hungry," you quip, making him nod his head vigorously. You hit the breaks, before preparing some instant ramen for breakfast.

You eventually continue on your trip, and after a few hours, you find yourself in the midst of traditional Korean buildings, which seem to be from the Joseon dynasty. "Is this perhaps a tourist location?," wonders Chan loudly, making you reply, "Only one way to find out." You both get out of the car and do some asking around. You find out that the place where you houses the residences of the noblemen of old, and has now been converted into a shooting-cum-tourist spot. "Tourists can get traditional hanboks from that store, to complete the experience," an old woman tells you.

You turn to look at Chan, your eyes shining. Twenty minutes later, you exit the store, dresses from head to toe in a light blue hanbok. Chan's eyes nearly pop out when he sees you, and when he tells you the same, you can't help but blush.

You continue to hang around the place little while longer, and have dinner at a small eatery nearby.

"I feel like I'm 20 again. Thank you Channie," you say, holding his hand across the table. "Anything for you love," he winks.

Evening eventually comes around, and you guys hit the road once again. Around dinner time, you notice that you are crossing by a wood and supplies shop, and an idea strikes your mind. "Let's buy some wood and grill our meat!," you say excitedly, making Chan coo at how adorable you are. "Great idea babe. Let me park."

You quickly exit the car and visit the shop to buy some wood, then get started on your mini bonfire. It proves to be more difficult than you had thought, given how inexperienced the both of you are. In the end, you manage to get the fire going enough for the meat to be grilled, and turn around to ask Chan to bring in the eatables, when you see his face. It's completely covered in soot from his failed attempts at lighting the flame, making you double over in laughter. "You look so funny," you say while gasping for air. "Wouldn't be so funny if I got this soot on your face now, will it?," he retorts, coming after you. You try to run, but it's obviously in vain, as Chan grabs hold of you in under a minute. You both laugh harder than you have in months, and when you finally calm down, you give your boyfriend a tight hug. He hugs you back, and whispers, "I love you." "I love you too, Channie," you say, "Now go and get the meat, I'm hungry." "Way to ruin the moment, Y/N," he grumbles as you push him away.

After dinner, you walk up to the shop owner to thank him, and ask his permission to camp nearby. "It rained a few days ago, so the ground is still wet, and will be uncomfortable. But you can rent a room here for the night if you'd like," he offers. "That'll be great sir, thank you for the help." Chan says, coming up behind you. The shop owner gives you the keys to a room, and before leaving, says something that leaves you both red at the ears. "No funny business here, please. I know you both are young, and controlling yourself is hard. But I'd rather you didn't 'play around' unnecessarily on my bed."

You get changed and climb into the bed, snuggling up to each other. "First day down, babe," you smile with your eyes closed. When Chan doesn't reply, you open them, only to find your man staring at you with love in his eyes. "This is pure healing for me, thank you for suggesting this trip, love," he says. You talk about anything and everything for a while, and then suddenly, you feel Chan's soft lips pressing against yours. He gives you a sweet kiss, and pulling away, says, "About what the old man said earlier.....," while smirking. You shove his chest, saying, "We shouldn't," making him pout. "Although, making out doesn't count as 'funny business,' does it?" And that's enough to make him press his lips back to yours, moving so as to hover over you.

You wrap your arms around his back, pulling you closer to him. He licks your lower lip, making you part your lips and allowing his tongue to enter. After a while, you break away, only to grab his T-shirt and take it off his body, before wrapping your hands around his bare back. Needless to say, the two of you didn't get much time to sleep that night.

You get started on your way again the next day, and around mid-day, you see a milestone telling you that you are entering Iksan. The small town seems a lifetime away from your hectic lives in Seoul, and you spend the day going from shop to shop, buying small trinkets and stuff that are reminiscent of the country life. The residents welcome you with open arms, and more than once, you find an old couple telling you how cute you look together.

"He's a keeper, that one. Don't let him go," a lady says to you, pointing at Chan, who can be seen playing with some kids. "I won't," you smile.

That night, you stay over at a family's house, who were nice enough to allow you to sleep on their futon. You have dinner with them, during which the kid's ask Chan, "Are you two married?," making him choke on his food. "I'm sorry for that, they are learning about families and marriage in school these days," says their mother. "It's all right," you smile, "But no, we aren't married." "But do you plan on getting married soon?," the kids persist.

You and Chan look at each other and smile, before saying in unison, "Yes. One day."

The next morning you take the wheel from Chan, and the both of you drive of in silence, as High School Musical plays on your dashboard screen. After a while, you say, "What is it, Channie? You've been staring at me," "It's just that, you seem way too quiet. You've been like that since last night, after dinner," he replies, "What's the matter? Are you okay?" "I'm fine, just been thinking." "About?" "About us," you begin, elaborating when you see him looking at you expectantly. "When those kids asked us if we were married, it got me thinking.....I love being with you, I love waking up next to you. We live together any way, and share all the burdens that come with it too. So I guess...getting married to you wouldn't be so bad after all," you say softly.

"Is this your way of proposing to me?," giggles your boyfriend. "What? No! I mean, I did say it would be nice to get married, but I don't have a ring right now. And I meant it when I said 'one day,' but it's not today," you hurriedly say. Chan bursts out laughing at this, "I know love, I'm not ready yet either. But yes, if I have to get married, I'd rather marry you than anyone else."

Around noon, you decide to set up camp in a forest clearing. It takes you a few hours to get the tent up and ready, as you keep getting delayed because you can't stop fooling around. Amid Chan getting himself wrapped with the tent instead of unwrapping it, and you assembling the rods the wrong way up, you spend some not-so-productive, but enjoyable quality time in each other's presence, something you didn't know you had been craving for.

Evening rolls by, and you have a light dinner with ramen, some roasted chicken, and beer, following which, you lay down on a picnic mat, with your head on Chan's arm. "The stars look so beautiful, don't they Channie?," you softly ask. "Not as beautiful as you," he says cheesily, making you hide your face into his side. "But yeah, you're right. I really wanted to go stargazing with you, but we never got the time," he sighs. "I'm so happy we came on this trip, love." You open your mouth to speak, but just then, you notice a star shooting across the sky. "Channie! Channie get up, it's a shooting star!," you squeal, before closing your eyes and praying. Once you open them, you notice Chan looking at you with a gaze full of love. "Didn't you wish for something?," you ask. "I did," he smiles. "But what about you? What did you wish for?"

"Come closer Mr. Bang, I'm not about to announce my wish to the whole world," you whisper slyly. He leans in closer to you, only to have you say, "You don't tell others what you wished for," before pressing a sweet kiss to his lips. He smiles into the kiss, before breaking away and hugging you tight.

The next day turns out to be the last before you have to turn back homeward, and so, Chan suggests you make the best of it. "From what I know about the country's geography, we should be close to a beach somewhere here," he says, making you look at him with your eyes shining. "Too bad we're not going to get help from the GPS, but I'm really enjoying the phone detox," you smirk. "Who needs GPS when we've got people? Look there, we're gonna enter a city soon, so let's ask our way around," he replies. An hour and a half later, you come across a milestone that tells you the beach is a mile away. Once there, you look for a deserted spread of sand, keen on not getting stuck in an unnecessary crowd. "We face enough of that in the city, I just want to be alone with you," you whisper, taking his hand in his.

When you finally succeed in finding such a place, Chan giggles, "Good thing I packed our swimming gear as well, right?" "You did well sweetie," you say, booping his nose softly. After getting changed, you spend the next few hours playing in the water. Suddenly, Chan pulls you flush into his chest, and whispers in your ear, "You look so hot wearing that, and with water dripping down your body, I'm really finding it hard to stay away." "Then don't," you say, biting your lip. One thing leads to another, and you're thankful for the changing shack nearby.

By the time the sun starts to set, Chan has pulled you out of the water, and is making you dance with him on the sand, after bringing your phones and portable speaker from the car. Waltzing to the music, you shyly say, "I love you Channie," making him blush and reply with an "I love you too, my cute baby."

After dinner you climb atop the roof of your car, talking about your younger days. "You remember when we got into a huge fight once, back in college? And I was about to break up with you, only to have you whisk me away on a road trip, just like you did this time," you say, laying your head on his shoulder. "It did get you to stick around with me though," he replies, laying his chin on your head. "And you remember how we first met? You spilled your latte all over my T-shirt, and then took me to the infirmary to check for any burns," he reminds you, making you throw your head back in laughter. "You kept whining for a year over how you missed out on being the 'campus heartthrob' because of that incident, when in reality, you still were the most popular freshman," you jab a finger at his chest, smiling.

"Okay, I've got a secret. I wasn't actually sad about the campus heartthrob thing, since I already knew everyone was head over heels for me," he grins, making you punch his arm. "Hey! Let me finish first. I knew everyone loved me, but I only had eyes for you. And whining was just a tactic to get you to feel sorry for me and go on a date with me." You fake gasp at this, exclaiming, "Treachery! And here I thought you were genuinely sulky about that. do you have any idea how guilty I felt that whole year?!" When he simply states at you, unamused, you add through a pout, "I'm planning on revoking your cuddle privileges."

All of a sudden, you realize that Chan is moving over to lay on top of you, trapping you between him and the roof. "You know you can't resist me, babe. So don't even try," he says. "You are right about that," you say, pulling him for a kiss.

You both end up remaining awake till dawn the next day, and decide to start on your journey home around mid-way, after having napped inside the car for a few hours. You get started on your way just after noon, with Chan behind the wheel, and you eating (and feeding him) from a packet of gummy bears in the passenger seat. You re-enter the city you had seen earlier the previous day, and decide to spend some time roaming around. It's a fairly big city, but still much quieter and more peaceful than Seoul. You pass on visiting the mall, reasoning that you do so too frequently back home.

Soon enough though, you come across a store that displays a signboard saying, "Free wine tasting session for couples." You both look at each other, and with a smirk, Chan says what is on your mind. "Can't pass up on sophisticated wine for free now, can we?" You giggle and say, "Nope, absolutely not." And so, in you go. The session proves to be equal parts fun and educational. From the Chardonnay to the Pinot Noir, you go through with the tasting of at least 20 different types of wines. While you actually stick to the literal meaning of the word "tasting," drinking no more than a sip per drink, Chan goes all out, and not too long after, he's totally drunk. "Hey there beautiful, mind telling me your name?," he tries to act smooth with you, making you facepalm as you say, "I still get surprised about how low your alcohol tolerance is for your size," you shake your head.

Once you leave the tasting, half dragging, half carrying a wasted Chan who continuously tries to flirt with you, you decide to take the wheel and hit the road to the outskirts of the city, and cover the remainder of the trip once you're fully sober. When you cross over the city's borders and re-enter the road in the wilderness, you hit the brakes. You let Chan sleep, knowing that waking him up will only give him a hangover. Getting out of the car, you get yourself something to eat from the boot, and once you're full, you snuggle up to him, throwing a blanket over the both of you.

You wake up around nine at night, and as you had predicted, you see Chan holding his head in agony. You nurse him for while, before putting him back to sleep, then continue down the road. You keep sneaking glances at his sleeping form, smiling to yourself when you notice how peaceful he seems, something he hasn't looked like in ages. "We really needed this. Thank you for always knowing what I need, and for always taking care of me. I love you," you thank him silently.

When he finally wakes the next morning, he sees you huddled up in the driver's seat, and he can feel his heart swell with love for you. He gets out of the car, then picks you up and softly places you on the backseat so that you can rest well. Looking at your expression, he can easily see how content and truly happy you are. You are his reason to keep going, and if this little getaway idea of his could help you find your reason to keep going (unbeknownst to him, he himself is your reason to endure too), his heart is at ease. Sure, your week off is going to end soon, but he's positive that you will have rejuvenated yourself and would have gathered enough beautiful memories to last you a while.

Sure, going back to Seoul would mean going back to the hustle and bustle of your lives, but hey, he knows that that you by his side, he'd be ready to run away from home again any day, because his home is with you. But even more than that, he knows that with you by his side, life will be just a tad bit easier. Because you will always be there to remind him of who he was back in college. You will keep the young, carefree boy who loved you to bits, alive in him. And he'll do the same for you. And with that thought, he drives off into the distance, back to where you started from, with a smile on his face.

Because at the end of the day, you both have each other, and that's all that matters.

283 notes · View notes

badassbuchanan · 4 years ago

Text

No Goodbye

Part 2 Part 3

Plot: Bucky’s left to pick up the pieces of a broken heart

Warnings: you will cry, angst, this is very very sad, sweet Bucky

Word Count: 4295

A/N: decided to branch out and do a non-smut angsty fic - it’s my first one please be nice 💕

“Bucky?” Y/N’s voice whispered worriedly as she watched the small team walk back through the compound with their heads hung low. The long haired super soldier looked over at her with saddened eyes, his heart sinking when he saw the hopefully look on her face.

Y/N’s hearted thudded against her chest, her bottom lip quivering as she watched the team look at her sympathetically. “Bucky, where’s Steve?” Worst case scenarios fled through her mind as she noticed the heartbreak in Bucky’s eyes, she’d never seen her boyfriend’s best friend look so sad.

Bucky’s eyes closed for a moment too long, the raw emotion in her voice breaking his heart. He felt tears begin welling up in his eyes, knowing he had to be the one to break the news. He let out a deep sigh, trying to steady his breathing and keep his sadness at bay as he braved a glance over at Y/N.

“Steve’s gone, Y/N.” Bucky mumbled, hearing a whimper of pain leave the girl’s lips as she broke down in front of him. Her hands flew up to cover her mouth, loud sobs filling the room as Bucky flinched in weakness, he couldn’t stand to see her like this. “He’s not coming back, Doll.” He was still trying to process the fact himself, saying it out loud only made it that much more real.

“No,” She shook her head in denial, tears streaming down her face as Bucky let his head fall back to conceal his tears. He started walking towards her, only knowing too well how hard it was to lose Steve. “No, Bucky, he promised.”

“I know,” Bucky blew out shakily as he tugged her almost lifeless body towards him, wrapping his arms around her tightly as she sobbed against his chest. He sighed solemnly when he felt her hands clinging to the material of his t-shirt, her tears soaking through the thin material and onto his chest. “I know, Doll.”

Bucky knew more than anyone how it felt to have a promise broken by Steve. Bucky had just had to say goodbye to his childhood best friend, but Y/N had just lost the love of her life.

She’d fallen for Steve the first day she met him. He was like a prince in a world full of frogs. She didn’t know if it was a forties thing, or a Steve thing, but he was everything she’d ever dreamed of. Steve loved Y/N just as much, she was his little piece of light in a cruel world. She reminded him of what was important and made him feel like part of him was still normal.

Shhh.” Bucky soothed her quietly, squeezing his eyes shut tightly as he rested his chin against the top of her head. Her head began to spin, trying to process what was happening as she cried helplessly against Bucky’s chest.��“It’s gunna be okay.” Bucky breathed out shakily, repeating the words that Steve had said to him before he left, hoping it would somehow calm her down. Although right now, he didn’t even believe those words himself.

———

It had been a few weeks, but the days seemed to all blur into one for Y/N. She didn’t leave her room unless it was to run errands, but even then, she avoided everyone. She felt so out of place, like everywhere she was, it was wrong. It didn’t matter if she was making a cup of tea in the kitchen, reading a book in the living room, taking a shower in the bathroom or trying to have a nap on her bed. It all seemed so wrong, like she shouldn’t be doing anything without Steve.

“I don't know who I am anymore, Buck.” She sighed numbly, her mind spaced out in mourning, her eyes damp with tears just as they had been every day before. Bucky was the only person she’d spoken to, and that was only because she knew he needed someone to talk to. Maybe he liked talking to her because she reminded him of Steve.

Bucky’s heart ached as he watched her face, so straight and emotionless. She was so broken, he heard her crying when no one else was around, especially at night. It was as if she was so tired of being in pain that her face was no longer able to show expression.

“I think if anyone can relate to not knowing who they are, Y/N. It’s me.” He pursed his lips together in a sympathetic smile, leaning his hands against the edge of the mattress from where he sat on her bed. He watched her carelessly fold the clean washing, trying to harden the pain inside her heart.

“Yeah and who helped you through that, Buck?” She hissed out sadly, angry at herself for still being so helpless and lost after weeks. She hadn’t said Steve’s name since the day she’d found out he’d gone. Bucky had noticed it, but he wasn’t sure if anyone else had.

Bucky sighed as he tilted his head absentmindedly, he hated Steve for leaving him, but he hated him more for leaving her. A frown crinkled on her forehead as she concentrated on stopping her tears from escaping her eyes, letting out a quiet sniffle as she kept her eyes focused on the washing in front of her.

“God, I just feel so alone.” She sighed in frustration, throwing the pair of shorts she was folding down on the bed. Her eyes closed as she wrapped her arms around herself, a tear trickling down her cheek as she sniffed again.

“You’re not alone, Doll.” Bucky whispered sadly, trying to be supportive as his eyes softened and he carefully reached his flesh arm out to hold her hand.

“But I am, Buck.” She pulled away from his hand as soon as she felt it, the action so sudden it made Bucky jump as she took a step away from him. “You’ve got Sam and Sharon.” She gritted her teeth at the mention of the girl that Steve had once kissed, her hands balling up into fists out of frustration. “Pepper’s got Morgan, Clint has his family, Peter’s got May, Fury’s got Maria, T’Challa’s got Shuri. But who do I got?” Her lips trembled as she pressed them together in a hard pout, looking down at the space in front of her. “He was everything I had and now he’s gone.”

Bucky listened silently to her rant, hanging his head as his heart broke at the shakiness of her angry voice. He fiddled with his hands, he knew nothing he could say would make her feel better. All she wanted was Steve.

“I don't even know why I’m still here.” She mumbled weakly, looking around the room that had once been filled with happy memories. It hurt, everything hurt. Living at the compound was a constant reminder of the life she had once shared with Steve. Her anger faded back to sadness as she closed her eyes tightly, breaking down in silent sobs as she thought about how they’d planned to spend their future together. They’d talked about it a lot. “When all this is over, we’ll move to Brooklyn. We’ll get married, pop out a couple of babies. Oh, and we have to get a dog.” The memory of Steve’s words caused an aching cry to leave her lips, his voice ringing through her mind as she felt her whole body go weak. “I can’t do this anymore.”

Bucky’s watery eyes widened in panic at her words, his head immediately turning to her as he instinctively reached his arm out towards her again. She was too helpless to pull away this time, letting his strong hand pull her body into his lap as she collapsed against him.

He was worried about how she was handing the process of grieving, knowing how much it had the power to manipulate thoughts. He didn’t want her doing anything stupid, anything irrational, anything harmful. He’d become so protective over her, knowing that she was the only other person who really understood what it was like losing Steve. Anytime she cried, Bucky was right there holding her.

“I’m sorry.” Bucky sobbed out, unable to control his emotions as he wrapped his arms around her, holding her as tight as he could. Y/N’s arms wrapped around his neck as she cried against him, a position she’d come to know so well. “I’m so sorry.” Bucky felt guilty, like he was the one responsible for Steve not coming back. He was there, he should’ve tried harder, said something to make Steve change his mind.

She whimpered against him, erratically breathing against his chest as she felt her throat closing up. The all too familiar feeling of heartache took over as her hand dropped to his metal arm, clinging to him tightly as she relaxed against his chest.

Bucky rocked them back and forth lightly, trying to soothe her as he broke down. He rubbed her back with his flesh hand, his head dropping close to hers as he held her close.

“I didn’t even get to say goodbye.” She sniffed sadly, her eyes puffy and cheeks red from the crying. Her face was lightly stained with red lines from where her tears had fallen, the salty liquid stinging her skin.

Bucky let out the breath he’d been holding in shakily, his heart aching at her words. Their burning cheeks touched as Bucky’s hand came up to massage the back of her head. He felt so responsible for Steve not coming back. “I’m sorry.”

She stayed there in his arms, his chest rising and falling against her side as she closed her stinging eyes. She inhaled the scent of his cologne, feeling safe in his lap as her heartbeat began to steady itself.

Bucky noticed the way her head pressed limply further against his bearded cheek, turning his head to face her as his hand cradled the back of her neck. “It’s gunna be okay.” He whispered as a soft smile washed over his reddened face, noticing her falling asleep in his arms.

”Will you stay with me tonight?” She whispered tiredly, her eyes blinking rapidly as she fought the inevitable exhaustion. “Please Buck, I don't want to be alone.”

A selfish wave of relief washed over Bucky as he held her, still processing Steve’s absence himself, he thanked his lucky stars that at least for one night, he wouldn’t have to be alone.

———

Weeks of Steve being gone had turned into months, his absence left a void, an emptiness that was inevitably never going away, both for Bucky and Y/N.

“Y/N?” Bucky’s voice deepened with concern as he threw the car keys in the fruit bowl, being warned of her bad state by F.R.I.D.A.Y as soon as he’d walked in through the front door. “Y/N.” He called out again, picking up his pace as he rushed through the compound to find her.

“She’s in Mr Roger’s room, Sergeant Barnes.” the AI spoke as Bucky began to panic, his heart sinking as he burst through the door of Cap’s old bedroom. No one had gone in there since he’d left, not even Y/N.

But that’s where she was, lying on the floor, looking up at the blank ceiling. Bucky sighed with his eyes closed before he walked over to her slowly, aware of her almost unconscious state.

His heart sped up immediately as he was hit with wave upon wave of memories of his best friend. The smell of the room, the shelves covered with small trinkets that were important to him, his record collection, the framed photo of Y/N and Steve next to his neatly made bed. It was all too overwhelming.

“What did you do, Doll?” He breathed out sadly as he crouched down next to her, his flesh fingers tracing over the empty bottle of asgardian liquor that lay in her limp hand. He carefully took the bottle from her, his eyes looking up at hers, glazed over with dilated pupils.

Y/N kept her head facing the ceiling, only moving her eyes to glance over at him. “I got lost.” She mumbled almost inaudibly, catching a hiccup in her throat as her eyes closed.

How could she tell Bucky the truth when it was so silly. She’d gone in there to talk to him. No, she wasn’t crazy, she knew he wasn’t going to be there. She thought she would find comfort in being around his belongings, that it would make her feel connected to him. But it didn’t work.

Bucky sighed, letting his fingers intertwine with hers as he held her hand. His thumb rubbed over her skin soothingly as he bit the inside of his lip, the helpless feeling inside of him was starting to become permanent. He desperately wanted to help her, to make everything okay. But there was nothing he could do except be there for her.

“I wasn't good enough for him.” Her words made Bucky’s heart ache with sadness, his eyes closing as he squeezed her hand a little tighter. “Maybe if I was better, he would've stay-”

“Don’t say that.” Bucky shook his head, his voice cracking a little. Y/N was the most beautiful, funny, talented girl he’d ever met. The more time he spent with her, the more he realised that. It hurt him to hear her say that she wasn’t good enough, that she had convinced herself that was the reason Steve had left. Bucky cursed Steve in his head, frustrated with what his decision to leave had done to her.

Y/N blamed herself for Steve not coming back. She hated herself for not being a good enough reason for him to stay. She sat up most nights trying to figure out exactly what it was that made him decide to go, but she couldn’t understand it.

"I thought he loved me.” Bucky felt the tears streaming down his face as he squeezed his eyes shut tightly. It physically pained him to hear how much she was hurting, the constant torment going on inside of her mind. How lost she felt, how deep Steve’s leaving had cut her up inside.

“He did, Y/N. He still does.” Bucky’s words spluttered out between sniffs. The alcohol was helping to numb Y/N’s pain, her tears silently rolling down her cheeks instead of her usual aching whimpers and heavy breathing.

“He didn’t even say goodbye.” She mumbled painfully, her wording changing from the perspective she’d had a few weeks ago. Her sleepless nights had given her more than enough time to think, and she’d come to the conclusion that Steve knew what his plan was, so he had the chance to say goodbye, to be upfront and tell her, but he didn’t. Why? The most obvious answer in Y/N’s mind was because he didn’t care, not about her anyway. “Don’t sit there and tell me you do that to someone you love.”

Bucky stayed silent for a moment, pondering in his own thoughts as Y/N went back to staring at the ceiling. At some point since he’d left, Bucky had questioned continuing to defend his best friend. Bucky had watched what Steve’s decisions had done to Y/N, what his actions were still doing to her and in Bucky’s eyes, nothing on earth was worth causing her this much sadness.

“C’mon, Doll. You’re tired, I know. Let me take you to bed.” He whispered through his heavy breathing as he scooped her up, lifting her body effortlessly as he cradled her in his arms. Y/N didn’t object, nuzzling her face into his chest as her arms wrapped around Bucky’s neck.

Bucky going go bed with Y/N had become routine most nights since the first time she’d asked him to stay with her, they both enjoyed the company and knew neither of them expected anything more than a warm body to hold.

He carried her down the hall until they reached her room, laying her carefully on the bed once they were inside. He pushed the loose hair away from her face, rubbing his thumb lovingly over her cheek as he admired her.

“I’m just getting you some comfy clothes, I’ll be right back.” Bucky whispered as he leaned over her, pressing a gentle kiss on her forehead. She nodded softly, not taking her eyes off of him as he she watched him move around the room.

Y/N was beyond grateful for Bucky, he’d been by her side the whole time. Whenever she needed him, he was right there. She felt guilty for lashing out at him sometimes, when all he’d ever done was shower her with love and patience. She wondered if he’d had time himself to process Steve leaving, or if he was suppressing his emotions in order to support her. Either way, Bucky had always made sure that she never felt completely alone, he took pride in looking after her, sometimes it was the only distraction from his destructive thoughts.

“Here you go.” He hummed sweetly, sliding his hand under her back to lift her torso up from the mattress. She sat up obediently as Bucky’s hand let go of her, turning around so that she could get changed privately.

She smiled shyly at his gentlemanly ways, somewhat reminded of the way Steve was. She looked down at her body as she pulled her shirt over her head, maybe if she looked like a supermodel, Steve would’ve stayed.

She blinked rapidly to contain her tears, her lips dropping into a pout as she quickly changed into the clothes Bucky had set out for her. A sudden wave of self consciousness hit her as she turned her body to face away from Bucky, laying back down on the bed to hide her body under the covers.

“It’s okay if you want to leave, Buck. I understand.” Her voice came out as a whimper, her eyes dropping to look down at the mattress as she heard Bucky turn back around to face her.

He sighed sadly as he looked down at her curled up alone on the bed, wishing she knew that he needed her as much as she needed him. He knew after tonight that she was blaming herself for Steve leaving, forcing herself to feel unworthy and unloved.

“Hey,” Bucky called out to her softly, pulling back his side of the blanket as he slid in beside her. He gently rotated her body to face him, her eyes avoiding his as he pulled her against his chest. “I’m not going anywhere. I pro-”

“Don’t.” She cut him off, shaking her head as she slid her arms up around his neck. “Don’t make any promises.” Her heartbeat quickened as the sadness engulfed her. “Please.”

Y/N woke up the next morning in a dream like daze, feeling strong arms wrapped tightly around her, her cheek pressed against a warm chest rising and falling in a slow rhythm.

“Steve?” She whispered out sweetly, it was the first moment of peace she’d had in months. Then reality came crashing down on her, remembering Steve was gone. Bucky heard her say it, it was the first time she’d said Steve’s name since he left, his whole body froze as his heart ached sympathetically for her.

Y/N sighed sadly, pressing her face further into Bucky’s chest as she began uncontrollably sobbing. Wave upon wave of misery flooded her body as Bucky rubbed her back under the thin material of her t-shirt, trying his best to soothe her.

“Shhhh,” Bucky whispered gently, his metal hand playing with the back of her hair as he held her close. “It’s gunna be okay.”

Bucky had repeated Steve’s words to her almost every day, not that she knew they were Steve’s words, but he didn’t know if he was saying them to comfort her or himself. Either way, as time went on, it was getting harder to believe that it was going to be okay.

———

Y/N had taken a nap for the first time in almost six months. She’d woken up to an empty bed, an unusual occurrence, especially since Bucky had been wrapped up in her arms when she’d fallen asleep.

They’d grown so close since Steve had left, their friendship had blossomed into an unbreakable bond, a deep connection that no one could explain. They understood each other on a level of complexity that formed so rarely it was unheard of. They relied on each other.

She padded softly down the hallway, heading towards the sound of Bucky’s voice coming from the common area. She slowed her steps, gliding her palm along the cold wall as she caught part of his conversation.

“No, I can’t do this anymore.” Bucky hissed to whoever was on the other end of the phone, his voice agitated yet quiet, as if he didn’t want to be heard. “I’ve made up my mind. I’m leaving.”

Y/N’s heart sunk deep into her chest, her head spinning in disbelief as she moved into view of the doorway just in time to see Bucky hang up the phone.

“Bucky?” She whimpered sadly, her chest heaving as it tightened around her heart, her eyes widened innocently as her bottom lip quivered. “You’re leaving?”

Bucky looked up at where she was standing, his eyebrows arching in panic as he realised what she’d walked into. “Y/N.” He started deeply, a lump forming in his throat as he watched her react. “I can explain.”

She shook her head rapidly as she squeezed her eyes shut, a bubbling sense of betrayal and anger erupted in her body. “You’re just the same as he is!” She yelled as she felt tears welling up in her eyes, turning to run back to her room as she thought about going through the process of losing someone again. She couldn’t take it.

She slammed the door behind her, bursting into tears as she paced around her room, slightly hyperventilating as the fear overwhelmed her.

“Y/N,” Bucky burst through her bedroom door, shutting it loudly behind him without a care as he walked over to her. “Calm down.”

She shook her head as Bucky grabbed her by her upper arms, forcing her to stop pacing as she hung her head to avoid his eye contact. “Were you even going to tell me?”

“Stop.” Bucky’s voice hardened as he tried to get her to listen, his eyes softening with worry as his heart raced.

“Or were you just going to leave without saying goodbye?” She disobeyed his command, her anger turning into sadness as she looked up into his gorgeous blue eyes.

“Listen to me,” He spoke softly, gripping onto her arms tightly as his thumbs rubbed over of skin. She looked away from his eyes, her eyebrows arching in sadness as she anticipated what he was going to say. “I’m not going anywhere.”

“I can’t lose you too, Bucky. I can’t.” She panicked as she thought about losing Bucky the same way she’d lost Steve. She wanted to believe him, but how could she possibly know if he was telling the truth? Her lips stayed in a pout, her eyes glued to the right of his body.

Bucky sighed in frustration, his heart broke knowing she didn’t believe him. “Look at me!” He spoke loudly, shaking her arms a little as her glossy eyes finally met his. “I’m not going anywhere, okay?”

Y/N lifted her hands to hold onto the material of his shirt over his stomach, holding him close as if it would keep him there forever. “I heard you on the phone, Buck.”

“Yeah, I know.” Bucky smiled softly, slightly relieved that she was listening to him now as he admired her face. His flesh hand moved up to cup her cheek, rubbing her temple with his thumb. “You heard me telling Fury that I’m leaving, as in leaving the team, not leaving you.” He shook his head, his eyebrows arching as a sympathetic look covered his face.

Her eyes looked up at him with a soft sparkle that he hadn’t seen in a long time, he let out a shaky breath, his eyes softening as he smiled down at her. “You’re really not leaving?”

He shook his head as he watched her sigh in relief, his arms wrapping around her to hold her close. “I’m not going anywhere, doll.”

“Trust me, Y/N.” Bucky whispered as he admired her face, his thumb rubbing across her cheek soothingly. “It’s gunna be okay.” Something about the way Steve said those words made it sounds true, but when Bucky heard himself say it, it was hard for him to believe.

———

“What the hell am I supposed to tell Y/N?” Bucky looked over at his oldest friend, his eyes saddened with stress and responsibility. “She’s gunna ask questions, Steve.”

“Tell her I’ve left. That I’m not coming back.” Steve instructed the long haired super-soldier, sadly running his hand through his blonde hair.

“And you think she’s just gunna accept that?” Bucky shook his head as he kicked a pebble next to his foot absentmindedly. He looked back up at Cap, trying to make him understand. “She loves you, Steve.”

“Bucky, you know I have to do this.” Steve pressed his lips together as he looked sympathetically over at Bucky. His decision wasn’t an easy one, and his best friend trying to change his mind was only making it harder. “I’m leaving her with my best pal.”

Steve grabbed Bucky’s shoulder reassuringly, witnessing the distress on his face, what Steve was asking him to do was huge. “It’s gunna be okay, Buck.”

Bucky sighed, trusting that Steve knew what was best as he wrapped his arms around his friend to say goodbye. “No matter what happens, she can never find out the truth, Buck.”

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794 notes · View notes

ganymedesclock · 4 years ago

Note

These are questions I've had for some while and it's hard to find someone who'll answer with grace. This mostly relates to disabilities (mental or physical) in fiction.

1) What makes a portrayal of a disability that's harming the character in question ableist?

2) Is there a way to write a disabled villain in a way that isn't ableist?

In the circles I've been in, the common conceptions are you can't use a character's disability as a plot point or showcase it being a hindrance in some manner. heaven forbid you make your villain disabled in some capacity, that's a freaking death sentence to a creative's image. I understand historically villains were the only characters given disabilities, but (and this is my personal experience) I've not seen as many disabled villains nowadays, heck, I see more disabled heroes in media nowadays.

Sorry if this comes off as abrasive, I'd really like to be informed for future media consumption and my own creative endeavors.

Okay so the first thing I'm going to say is that while it IS a good idea to talk to disabled people and get their feedback, disabled people are not a monolith and they aren't going to all have the same take on how this goes.

My personal take is biased in favor that I'm a neurodivergent person (ADHD and autism) who has no real experience with physical disabilities, so I won't speak for physically disabled people- heck, I won't even speak for every neurotype. Like I say, people aren't a monolith.

For myself and my own writing of disabled characters, here's a couple of concepts I stick by:

Research is your friend

Think about broad conventions of ableism

Be mindful of cast composition

1. Research is your friend

Yeah this is the thing everybody says, so here's the main bases I try to cover:

What's the story on this character's disability?

Less in terms of 'tragic angst' and more, what kind of condition this is- because a congenital amputee (that is to say, someone who was born without a limb) will have a different relationship to said limb absence than someone who lost their limb years ago to someone who lost their limb yesterday. How did people in their life respond to it, and how did they respond to it? These responses are not "natural" and will not be the same to every person with every worldview. This can also be a great environment to do worldbuilding in! Think about the movie (and the tv series) How To Train Your Dragon. The vikings in that setting don't have access to modern medicine, and they're, well, literally fighting dragons and other vikings. The instance of disability is high, and the medical terminology to talk about said disabilities is fairly lackluster- but in a context where you need every man you possibly can to avoid the winter, the mindset is going to be not necessarily very correct, but egalitarian. You live in a village of twenty people and know a guy who took a nasty blow to the head and hasn't quite been the same ever since? "Traumatic Brain Injury" is probably not going to be on your lips, but you're also probably going to just make whatever peace you need to and figure out how to accommodate Old Byron for his occasional inability to find the right word, stammers and trembles. In this example, there are several relevant pieces of information- what the character's disability is (aphasia), how they got it (brain injury), and the culture and climate around it (every man has to work, and we can't make more men or throw them away very easily, so, how can we make sure this person can work even if we don't know what's wrong with them)

And that dovetails into:

What's the real history, and modern understandings, of this?

This is where "knowing the story" helps a lot. To keep positing our hypothetical viking with a brain injury, I can look into brain injuries, what affects their extent and prognosis, and maybe even beliefs about this from the time period and setting I'm thinking of (because people have had brains, and brain injuries, the entire time!) Sure, if the setting is fantastical, I have wiggle room, but looking at inspirations might give me a guide post.

Having a name for your disorder also lets you look for posts made by specific people who live with the condition talking about their lives. This is super, super important for conditions stereotyped as really scary, like schizophrenia or narcissistic personality disorder. Even if you already know "schizophrenic people are real and normal" it's still a good thing to wake yourself up and connect with others.

2. Think about broad conventions of ableism

It CAN seem very daunting or intimidating to stay ahead of every single possible condition that could affect someone's body and mind and the specific stereotypes to avoid- there's a lot under the vast umbrella of human experience and we're learning more all the time! A good hallmark is, ableism has a few broad tendencies, and when you see those tendencies rear their head, in your own thinking or in accounts you read by others, it's good to put your skeptical glasses on and look closer. Here's a few that I tend to watch out for:

Failing the “heartwarming dog” test

This was a piece of sage wisdom that passed my eyeballs, became accepted as sage wisdom, and my brain magnificently failed to recall where I saw it. Basically, if you could replace your disabled character with a lovable pet who might need a procedure to save them, and it wouldn’t change the plot, that’s something to look into.

Disability activists speak often about infantilization, and this is a big thing of what they mean- a lot of casual ableism considers disabled people as basically belonging to, or being a burden onto, the able-bodied and neurotypical. This doesn’t necessarily even need to have an able neurotypical in the picture- a personal experience I had that was extremely hurtful was at a point in high school, I decided to do some research on autism for a school project. As an autistic teenager looking up resources online, I was very upset to realize that every single resource I accessed at the time presumed it was talking to a neurotypical parent about their helpless autistic child. I was looking for resources to myself, yet made to feel like I was the subject in a conversation.

Likewise, many wheelchair users have relayed the experience of, when they, in their chair, are in an environment accompanied by someone else who isn’t using a chair, strangers would speak to the standing person exclusively, avoiding addressing the chair user.

It’s important to always remind yourself that at no point do disabled people stop being people. Yes, even people who have facial deformities; yes, even people who need help using the bathroom; yes, even people who drool; yes, even people whose conditions impact their ability to communicate, yes, even people with cognitive disabilities. They are people, they deserve dignity, and they are not “a child trapped in a 27-year-old body”- a disabled adult is still an adult. All of the “trying to learn the right rules” in the world won’t save you if you keep an underlying fear of non-normative bodies and minds.

This also has a modest overlap between disability and sexuality in particular. I am an autistic grayromantic ace. Absolutely none of my choices or inclinations about sex are because I’m too naive or innocent or childlike to comprehend the notion- disabled people have as diverse a relationship with sexuality as any other. That underlying fear- as mentioned before- can prevent many people from imagining that, say, a wheelchair user might enjoy sex and have experience with it. Make sure all of your disabled characters have full internal worlds.

Poor sickly little Tiffany and the Red Right Hand

A big part of fictional ableism is that it separates the disabled into two categories. Anybody who’s used TVTropes would recognize the latter term I used here. But to keep it brief:

Poor, sickly little Tiffany is cute. Vulnerable. How her disability affects her life is that it constantly creates a pall of suffering that she lives beneath. After all, having a non-normative mind or body must be an endless cavalcade of suffering and tragedy, right? People who are disabled clearly spend their every waking moment affected by, and upset, that they aren’t normal!

The answer is... No, actually. Cut the sad violin; even people who have chronic pain who are literally experiencing pain a lot more than the rest of us are still fully capable of living complex lives and being happy. If nothing else, it would be literally boring to feel nothing but awful, and people with major depression or other problems still, also, have complicated experiences. And yes, some of it’s not great. You don’t have to present every disability as disingenuously a joy to have. But make a point that they own these things. It is a very different feeling to have a concerned father looking through the window at his angel-faced daughter rocking sadly in her wheelchair while she stares longingly out the window, compared to a character waking up at midnight because they have to go do something and frustratedly hauling their body out of their bed into their chair to get going.

Poor Sickly Little Tiffany (PSLT, if you will) virtually always are young, and they virtually always are bound to the problems listed under ‘failing the heartwarming dog’ test. Yes, disabled kids exist, but the point I’m making here is that in the duality of the most widely accepted disabled characters, PSLT embodies the nadir of the Victim, who is so pure, so saintly, so gracious, that it can only be a cruel quirk of fate that she’s suffering. After all, it’s not as if disabled people have the same dignity that any neurotypical and able-bodied person has, where they can be an asshole and still expect other people to not seriously attack their quality of life- it’s a “service” for the neurotypical and able-bodied to “humor” them.

(this is a bad way to think. Either human lives matter or they don’t. There is no “wretched half-experience” here- if you wouldn’t bodily grab and yank around a person standing on their own feet, you have no business grabbing another person’s wheelchair)

On the opposite end- and relevant to your question- is the Red Right Hand. The Red Right Hand does not have PSLT’s innocence or “purity”- is the opposite extreme. The Red Right Hand is virtually always visually deformed, and framed as threatening for their visual deformity. To pick on a movie I like a fair amount, think about how in Captain America: The Winter Soldier, the title character is described- “Strong. Fast. Had a metal arm.” That’s a subtle example, but, think about how that metal arm is menacing. Sure, it’s a high tech weapon in a superhero genre- but who has the metal arm? The Winter Soldier, who is, while a tormented figure that ultimately becomes more heroic- scary. Aggressive. Out for blood.

The man who walks at midnight with a Red Right Hand is a signal to us that his character is foul because of the twisting of his body. A good person, we are led to believe, would not be so- or a good person would be ashamed of their deformity and work to hide it. The Red Right Hand is not merely “an evil disabled person”- they are a disabled person whose disability is depicted as symptomatic of their evil, twisted nature, and when you pair this trope with PSLT, it sends a message: “stay in your place, disabled people. Be sad, be consumable, and let us push you around and decide what to do with you. If you get uppity, if you have ideas, if you stand up to us, then the thing that made you a helpless little victim will suddenly make you a horrible monster, and justify us handling you with inhumanity.”

As someone who is a BIG fan of eldritch horror and many forms of unsettling “wrongness” it is extremely important to watch out for the Red Right Hand. Be careful how you talk about Villainous Disability- there is no connection between disability and morality. People will be good, bad, or simply just people entirely separate from their status of ability or disability. It’s just as ableist to depict every disabled person as an innocent good soul as it is to exclusively deal in grim and ghastly monsters.

Don’t justify disabilities and don’t destroy them.

Superpowers are cool. Characters can and IMO should have superpowers, as long as you’re writing a genre when they’re there.

BUT.

It’s important to remember that there is no justification for disabilities, because they don’t need one. Disability is simply a feature characters have. You do not need to go “they’re blind, BUT they can see the future”

This is admittedly shaky, and people can argue either way; the Blind Seer is a very pronounced mythological figure and an interesting philosophical point about what truly matters in the world. There’s a reason it exists as a conceit. But if every blind character is blind in a way that completely negates that disability or makes it meaningless- this sucks. People have been blind since the dawn of time. And people will always accommodate their disabilities in different ways. Even if the technology exists to fix some forms of blindness, there are people who will have “fixable” blindness and refuse to treat it. There will be individuals born blind who have no meaningful desire to modify this. And there are some people whose condition will be inoperable even if it “shouldn’t” be.

You don’t need to make your disabled characters excessively cool, or give them a means by which the audience can totally forget they’re disabled. Again, this is a place where strong worldbuilding is your buddy- a handwave of “x technology fixed all disabilities”, in my opinion, will never come off good. If, instead, however, you throw out a careless detail that the cool girl the main character is chatting up in a cyberpunk bar has an obvious spinal modification, and feature other characters with prosthetics and without- I will like your work a lot, actually. Even if you’re handing out a fictional “cure”- show the seams. Make it have drawbacks and pros and cons. A great example of this is in the series Full Metal Alchemist- the main character has two prosthetic limbs, and not only do these limbs come with problems, some mundane (he has phantom limb pains, and has to deal with outgrowing his prostheses or damaging them in combat) some more fantastical (these artificial limbs are connected to his nerves to function fluidly- which means that they get surgically installed with no anesthesia and hurt like fuck plugging in- and they require master engineering to stay in shape). We explicitly see a scene of the experts responsible for said limbs talking to a man who uses an ordinary prosthetic leg, despite the advantages of an automail limb, because these drawbacks are daunting to him and he is happier with a simple prosthetic leg.

Even in mundane accommodations you didn’t make up- no two wheelchair users use their chair the exact same way, and there’s a huge diversity of chairs. Someone might be legally blind but still navigate confidently on their own; they might use a guide dog, or they might use a cane. They might even change their needs from situation to situation!

Disability accommodations are part of life

This ties in heavily to the previous point, but seriously! Don’t just look up one model of cane and superimpose it with no modifications onto your character- think about what their lifestyle is, and what kind of person they are!

Also medication is not the devil. Yes, medical abuse is real and tragic and the medication is not magic fairy dust that solves all problems either. But also, it’s straight ableism to act like anybody needing pills for any reason is a scary edgy plot twist.��

(and addiction is a disease. Please be careful, and moreover be compassionate, if you’re writing a character who’s an addict)

3. Be mindful of cast composition

This, to me, is a big tip about disability writing and it’s also super easy to implement!

Just make sure your cast has a lot of meaningful disabled characters in it!

Have you done all the work you can to try and dodge the Red Right Hand but you’re still worried your disabled villain is a bad look? They sure won’t look like a commentary on disability if three other people in the cast are disabled and don’t have the same outlook or role! Worried that you’re PSLT-ing your main character’s disabled child? Maybe the disability is hereditary and they got it from the main character!

The more disabled characters you have, the more it will challenge you to think about what their individual relationship is with the world and the less you’ll rely on hackneyed tropes. At least, ideally.

Ultimately, there’s no perfect silver bullet of diversity writing that will prevent a work from EVER being ableist, but I hope this helped, at least!

#disability #writing ruminations #readmore

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thefanficmonster · 4 years ago

Text

Filterless

Corpse Husband x Plus-sized Reader (Female)

Warnings: Body Image Insecurities, Low self-esteem, Swearing

Genre: Angst, Hurt/Comfort, Fluff, RPF (Real Person Fic)

Summary: Feeling comfortable in her skin has hardly ever been the case for Y/N who’s been struggling with body image issues all her life. However, they only get worse when she sees the ‘type’ of girls her crush is into.

Requested by Anon. Hi darling! Thank you so much for your request (hits close to home 😅) I’m so sorry it has taken me so long to fulfill it and post it but here it finally is and if you’ve stuck around long enough to read it, I hope you enjoy! ALSO! - Never forget how beautiful and amazing you are. Never compare your beauty to someone else’s. We’re all beautiful people and we all shine so brightly and uniquely. No one deserves to be compared to anyone when we’re all so different yet so incredible. Love you and appreciate you with all my heart, Vy ❤

If I ever need my ego taken down a few notches - it never does, it’s barely even present, to be honest - all I have to do is go on Instagram. To be honest, regardless of how I’m feeling, opening that app is bound to make my mood plummet and come crashing into the ground so hard it drives a hole in it - probably in the form of a broken heart.

Being a content creator myself, I often get asked questions about my absence on that social platform specifically. I mean, the questions are based and rational I guess, considering I’m not a faceless YouTuber and yet my Instagram account is void of any photos. It’s not like I don’t post at all - I do! I post on my story often but it’s more often than not scenery I find pretty or a poster I’ve made for a movie/video game. Bottom line is: I barely ever allow a picture of me to make it online. The most my fans are ever gonna get of me is a selfie which is also a super rare occurrence because of how long it takes me to take and choose one I don’t hate.

Ok, but how am I supposed to find the motivation to post any sort of picture of myself when on my timeline I’m always faced with people worthy of posting pictures of themselves. People with such perfect bodies and beautiful faces. Don’t get me wrong, I’m not jealous or envious of those people - good for them! They know what they’re working with and they’re working it well. I have nothing against them, in fact, I love seeing people proud of their bodies no matter their size, shape or weight. Those are my role-models: people who are proud of themselves, their bodies, their attributes and capabilities and don’t hesitate to show them off. Those are the people I look up to but, deep down inside I know I’ll never be like.

Insecure about my body, having been referred to as ‘chubby’ and ‘squishy’ all my life. Inappreciative of the stuff I do: starting from my job as a graphic designer leading towards my job on YouTube - nothing I do, professionally or otherwise, satisfies me. Nothing I do is enough in my eyes because I feel incapable of ever being able to do enough. I’ve been called lazy and a half-asser a few too many times to be able to brush it off as a meaningless insult.

With these problems I’ve had with myself and my own perception of who I am and the work I do, I’ve never had the time for romance or romantic relationships. I second-guess the intentions of everyone who ever shows any interest in me because in my mind I’m nothing special and I have nothing to offer - nothing attractive or likable at least. That being said, I haven’t even been one to make heart eyes at others either. I busy myself with my job and some side-gigs, brushing off any relationship questions with the excuse that I’m ‘just too busy to be in a relationship’ which is technically true.

Having spent twenty plus years with that mindset, one can imagine how surprised I was when I found myself catching feelings for someone. And that someone just couldn’t be any other than the biggest YouTube sensation at the moment - Corpse Husband.

I’m close friends with Poki - her and I were roommates at one point too - so her inviting me to play Among Us with them wasn’t so strange. One or two games, I thought, nothing unusual there, just friendly curtesy. I wasn’t expecting to warm up to the group of famous streamers nor did I expect them to welcome me among them so easily, mostly because my channel is so small and practically invisible to the YouTube algorithm. But soon enough, I became a permanent member of the team, making friends with every single one of those YouTubers I practically thought of a celebrities.

This journey of branching out to other content creators has proven itself to be surprisingly pleasant and has packed my book of friendships to the brim. All of that came unexpectedly, along with a wave of new subs and a higher view count. However, as I mentioned, it hasn’t been all sunshine and rainbows. I came to finally understand what my high school friends were talking about when they were head over heels for a boy - the butterflies in the stomach whenever he speaks your name; the importance of the laugh you share with him, how special and different it is; how cool it is to be impostors with him - ok they never said that, obviously, but it’s what I have as a substitute to the ‘when the two of you make eye-contact’ bullshit since Corpse and I have never seen each other in person. That is, of course, because of him being a faceless YouTuber and me being a self-conscious and insecure girl.

We do talk all the time though - texting, calling, chilling on Discord, you name it. Our conversations range from deeply philosophical to ones that might mislead someone into thinking we’re high. There’s no topic we haven’t touched upon and yet we still manage to find something new to talk about. We have plenty of similarities but we also never seem to run out of differences we slowly come across as we keep getting to know each other better and better.

And somewhere along that journey I ended up catching feelings.

Human nature of wanting to connect with other people, I curse you for what you’ve done to me.

You might think I’m being overdramatic about the whole ordeal and that this is just a normal, natural occurrence many people experience in their life - some even daily. Well, not only am I far from used to it, but it’s also taking a toll of a different kind on me.

It’s like a constant slap to the face.

That slap turned into a punch when Corpse and I started following each other on Instagram and I started getting daily reminders of how out of my depth I am with this crush on him. In over my head, especially when you look at all those girls whose pics and videos he reposts on his story. Imagine how that makes me feel, what that does to me - puts me back into the ‘Constantly not good enough‘ basket, the one I’ve been fighting to get out of all my life. In the past and in different contexts I could easily say that it was all just my mind hating me intensely but now - now that I know for a fact I’m not good enough and don’t fit Corpse’s criteria - it hurts ten times as much. I’m not one to do shit for someone’s attention or to attract someone’s eyes, but it really hurts my feelings. Often times, it also leads me to doing dumb things and making rash decisions.

Like the one I made two days ago.

Imagine me cringing and shaking my head at my own stupidity as I admit this: I, in a frenzy, ordered a whole e-girl getup with overnight delivery.

Wait, hold up, it gets worse.

I received it yesterday and spent the whole day regretting that decision, but then, in my most insecure hours - which was somewhere around midnight - I equipped the get-up, took a picture and posted it on my Instagram page. First full body pic I’ve ever posted on there. First pic I’ve posted there of any kind. There to stay, not to be gone in twenty four hours. First pic, and it’s not even of me. It’s of who I want to be in order to fit someone’s criteria. And that fucking stings.

As you might imagine, I’ve spent today’s day regretting that decision as well. Recently my mood’s been nothing but regretting rash decisions that have surfaced under the influence of my ridiculous, constantly-present insecurities. And I would’ve probably gotten over it rather quickly had I not received a message from Corpse that read:

“Didn’t think of you with an e-girl aesthetic“

I didn’t open the message, I peeped at it as it was a notification on my lock screen. It’s still there, an unread notification. It’s been two hours since I received it and I cannot think of a single thing to say in response to that.

Truth is, I’m afraid. I’m afraid of so many things right now.

I’m afraid of becoming that girl in the photo, cause I’m most definitely not her.

I’m afraid of letting Corpse down by admitting I’m not her.

I’m afraid of what my own mind has made me do because it hates me so much and I’m terrified of what it might do in the future.

I’m afraid and stranded on things to do.

You can’t be her forever, you know. Being her won’t make your insecurities go away, it’ll only make them worse. Haven’t you learned that by now?

I sigh, frustrated and irritated with myself as I grab my phone and tap on the notification, finally deciding to face the music and allow my instincts to carry me through the interaction. Improvisation, that’s one of the few things I’m good at. Let’s hope it doesn’t fail me.

I’m just about to type out my response - not sure what it’s gonna say - when I give the message Corpse has sent me a second glance. I furrow my brows, finding there’s more to it than that peep through the notification let me see.

“Didn’t think of you with an e-girl aesthetic. You’re personality is so bright and colorful, I could’ve never imagined you were into the darks and blacks“

Because I’m not

I fail to realize until the message has been sent that my thoughts are exactly what I typed out and sent.

And honestly, I’m glad. It feels like I’ve spoken my truth, like I’ve lifted a huge boulder off my chest.

With that rare confidence in mind I go on and delete the picture.

In its spot, I post a picture I just now took - a mirror selfie in my homey get-up consisting of hot pink sweatpants and an oversized blue tee, my hair in a messy bun, my face free of make-up.

I caption it: ‘Oops, had the e-girl filter on for the last one. This is filterless me tho so...Hi 🥴’

A lot better, I’m surprised to hear my inner voice say. I hope I don’t get used to all this kindness on my brain’s part, probably won’t last, but damn if I don’t milk every second of it.

Just then, I receive a new message from non other than Corpse.

“Now that’s the girl I see when I think of you. She’s super cute 😉“

My, oh my, who would’ve guessed Corpse has a game like that - and by that I mean the ability to make me blush so intensely with only a text message.

Now ain’t that better than being someone else, Y/N?

It sure is, it sure is.

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stylesluxx · 5 years ago

Text

imprint – p.lahote

[warnings: angst, swearing, an anxiety attack]

summary: in which y/n thinks it's just the imprint talking | part two

word count: 6,171

masterlist

"Long night?"

You sighed and turned around to face your best friend. You've known Jacob for as long as you can remember. You went to the same schools (you begged your parents to keep you together) and his house was a two-minute walk from yours.

"Very," You nodded and turned back around to shove your chemistry textbook in your locker.

"I can't believe you spend your nights looking through this stupid textbook."

"I can't believe you think it's okay to bother me at 8 AM," You retorted playfully and shut your locker.

"Don't be friends with me then," He shrugged and wrapped an arm around your shoulder as you started walking to your first class.

"I hope those two idiots are on time."

"Embry and Quil? On-time? Come on, Y/N, let's be realistic here."

You laughed and shook your head as you walked into your Spanish class. You happily greeted your teacher and sat in your usual spot in the middle of the class. Jake took the seat next to you and you looked over at the empty seats Quil and Embry would later occupy.

The bell rang, signifying the start of the first period and you felt Jacob move to take your backpack off your back.

"You really must be tired," He chuckled and set the bag next to your seat.

"You have no idea," You yawned and put your hand up to cover your mouth.

Quil and Embry ran into the room, panting and heaving, right after the morning announcements ceased.

"Typical," You mumbled.

They apologized to the teacher for disrupting the class before moving to their seats. As they walked in front of your table, you stuff a foot out and watched Quil trip and push Embry forward involuntarily.

"Watch it, you clumsy idiot!" Embry whisper-yelled, making you giggle.

"It was Y/N's fault. She tripped me," Quil argued as they both took their seats.

Quil and Embry were a package deal. One summer you went to Boston to visit some family and when you came back, Jacob had made some new friends. At the age of eight, you were used to having Jacob all to yourself but the two idiots refused to leave you alone once you came back just in time for school. The two boys grew on you fairly quickly (they brought you candy every day to get on your good side) and the four of you grew super close, they were practically your brothers.

You glanced around the classroom to see if anyone was distracted by the two idiots but at this point, no one bothered paying the two any attention.

You noticed there was one empty seat left and you realized the spot belonged to Paul Lahote.

Paul Lahote was an enigma. Well, only to you. Everyone knew he was hotheaded and cocky but there was something about him that pulled you in. As deluded as it sounded, you believed there to be another side to Paul Lahote.

You looked away from the empty seat and fixed your eyes on the classroom door opening and closing. There he was, in all his glory.

Jacob scoffed and rolled his eyes as he watched you become entranced in the boy you had a crush on.

"Still don't know what you see in him," Jacob whispered.

"I have a thing for unrequited love," You shrugged.

Paul would usually walk in with a boastful smirk on his face but today it was replaced with a frown and his eyebrows were furrowed in discomfort.

He quietly talked to the teacher and handed her a note. She nodded and took the piece of paper from him, setting it on her desk.

He kept his head down as he trudged over to his seat by the window and sat down. His head immediately met the table, his arms in between his head and the desk to give him some comfort.

"Have you guys ever thought about setting alarms?"

You scoffed at this question that was directed toward Embry and Quil. It was lunchtime and your hand was moving fast, trying to finish your Spanish homework so you wouldn't have to waste time doing it at home.

"Ashley, do you think they've ever even heard of alarm clocks?" You questioned.

Ashley was first introduced to the group during freshman year. She was new to La Push but had no issue walking up to you and asking for a friend.

"I figured since it's the first day, we could just be each other's comfort," She shrugged.

Of course, she didn't know about the boys but she was soon introduced to them during gym class. Quil embarrassingly kicked a ball directly in her face, causing her to turn red, clearly infuriated.

"Of course this happens on the first day," You sighed and ran over to her. "Are you okay? I'm really sorry about my friend. He was born uncoordinated."

"Yeah, no kidding," She huffed and rubbed her red cheek that was beginning to swell.

She was still making Quil pay for the incident. Every time she wanted something from him, she'd milk the remind him of "the most tragic moment in La Push history."

She wanted him to get lunch for her?

"Quil, remember when you almost shattered my face? Well, I do. It was the first day of high school. Can you go get me lunch?”

He’d just sigh and shake his head before standing up and doing whatever she asked.

While Embry and Quil argued over whose fault it was that they were always late, Ashley turned to you, head on palm and elbow on the table.

"So how's day one million of crushing on Paul Lahote?" She teased and of course, Jacob just rolled his eyes.

You reached over and tugged at his long hair gently, making him swat your hand away.

"Day one million of my ordinary life is going great," You nodded with a smile.

"You do realize, he's just your typical arrogant asshole, correct?" Embry spoke up.

"Well, it's not like I'll ever have to deal with it. As if he'd even think about talking to me," You blew a raspberry and scooped up a spoonful of the rice sitting on your plate.

"Speak of the devil," Ashley grinned and elbowed your ribs, making you jolt up from your sulking position.

You watched as he practically dragged himself over to the lunch line and grabbed a tray.

Any other day you'd watch his pretty brown eyes follow around the prettiest girls at school and give them a wink. Any other day, your heart would drop to your ass and you'd sigh in defeat. But today his bright smile stayed hidden and you watched as he scowled uncomfortably.

"Looks like someone's in a bad mood today," Quil observed.

"Oh, thank you, Captain Obvious. What was the giveaway?" Ashley quipped, her and Quil rolling their eyes at the same time.

"You guys realize he's human and can have a bad day, right?" You asked and watched him flop into a seat at an empty table.

"Oh really? I would've thought he was a god the way he walked around here," Jacob spoke sarcastically while chewing his food.

"He's just... misunderstood."

—

Days went by and Paul just stopped coming to school. The day after he came in looking out of place, he came to school two periods in, and then the day after that he just left school early. That was the last time you saw him.

For the first couple of days, you looked for him but after a week, you just gave up. Weeks went by and there was no sign of him, you just hoped that he was okay.

"Still have hope your little boyfriend isn't a high school dropout?" Jacob teased as he saw you look over at Paul's empty seat.

"Are you obsessed with him?" You rolled your eyes and hit his water bottle obnoxiously, knocking it down. "You guys always bring him up. Are you sure you're not the one crushing on him?”

"Don't disrespect me. If I was interested in guys, it definitely wouldn't be Lahote; I love myself enough."

You rolled your eyes again and scoffed before telling him to “just shut up.”

Once the bell finished ringing, Embry and Quil rushed in claiming they weren't late. Quil learned to walk behind your table instead of in front and tugged at your hair.

"Jackass," You mumbled and rubbed your head.

15 minutes into the lesson, the door opened and shut but you didn't bother to lift your head until you heard the voice.

"I apologize for being late," He spoke smoothly and your head whipped up in shock.

You watched the boy hand a note to the teacher with a smug grin on his face.

"Look what the cat dragged in," Jacob mumbled and raised an eyebrow.

"He looks much better," You mumbled back as you watched him confidently walk through the classroom and claim his seat.

"Yeah, and he got all muscly and tall. How do you gain that much height so quickly?"

"And you're sure you don't have a crush on him?"

But Jacob was right. When Paul disappeared he was scrawny and 5'11" but now he was muscular and at least 6'4". And was that a tattoo? He wore a shirt that showed off his muscles and a tattoo that wasn't there when he disappeared.

Once Spanish class let out everyone rushed out the classroom and in the doorway, you spotted Jared Cameron. Paul walked out ahead of you and met Jared, punching his shoulder playfully and laughing at whatever his newfound friend had said.

And now that you saw the two together, you remembered that Jared too disappeared earlier that year. He was in your second-period math class and one day he was there and the next he wasn't. He also looked sick the days leading up to his absence and came back taller and muscular. You looked closely and saw they both had the same tattoo in the same spot.

"Don't stare too hard, Creep," You heard Embry's voice.

You shoved him away before turning around and walking to your next period.

The day slowly dragged on and before you knew it you were in chemistry, the dreadful class right before lunch. You listened to your teacher drone on and on about something you didn't understand. By the end of the lesson you realized you'd have to skip lunch to get some help, so you sent the group chat a quick text before grabbing your things and moving to the front of the classroom. You sat down and politely asked the teacher for help, which she happily agreed to.

You were in the middle of balancing a formula when you heard feet shuffling into the classroom.

"Do you mind if I pick up some of the work I missed? It's all been excused."

"Sure, Paul. Let me head upstairs and grab it from my office. Just wait here," The teacher said and stood up from the chair. "And keep going Y/N, you're doing great!"

You nodded and kept your eyes on your paper as she retreated from the classroom. You finished the problem you were on and started working on the next one but you were stumped. This problem was nothing like the first and different rules had to be applied.

"I can't," You muttered to yourself and tossed your pencil down on the desk.

You pulled away from the desk and raised your head to look at the board in front of you but your eyes met another pair.

You weren't expecting Paul to be leaning against the board directly in front of you, his arms crossed over his chest. He must've looked over when he heard you speak and your eyes met coincidentally.

You gave him a forced and awkward smile when you realized he wasn't looking away. His arms fell to his sides and his mouth gaped as he continued to stare.

"Uh, are you alright?" You asked him and gave him a concerned look.

Before he could answer, the chem teacher came back in the room with a stack of papers in her hands. Paul quickly turned his attention to her, grabbed the papers, and whispered a soft thank you before bolting out of the room.

You felt your cheeks grow hot in embarrassment and turned your focus back to the paper in front of you.

For the rest of the day, you tried to push that moment to the back of your mind. You couldn't believe that was your first encounter with Paul. You were so embarrassed you weren't even going to tell your friends because you knew you'd never hear the end of it.

The rest of the day and into the next goes completely uneventful until it's time for lunch.

You were at your locker with Jacob, switching out notebooks and binders, teasing him about how he was drooling in his sleep during first period.

"You were snoring too," You lied, trying to get a reaction out of him.

"You are such a liar. What do you even gain from lying?"

You laughed and went to respond but were cut off by the view of Paul Lahote walking in your direction. He turned to look at Jared who just shooed him over with a hand motion, before turning back around, his eyes on you.

You ignored Jacob trying to regain your attention and gave Paul a gentle smile and prayed you wouldn't embarrass yourself.

"Hi, I'm Paul. Lahote. Paul Lahote. I've never really introduced myself which is weird because you're... stunning and we're in the same grade and I think we have some classes together," He babbled on nervously, making your eyebrows crinkle while you tried to keep up with what he was saying.

"I'm Y/N," You cut off his rambling and reached your hand out for him to shake.

He looked at it for a second before looking back at you with a smile and reaching his hand out to meet yours. You stood like this for a few moments, your hand in his and his eyes on you in awe.

Jacob cleared his throat and pulled Paul out of his trance as he turned to glare at Jacob, dropping your hand in the process.

"Is there something you needed?" You saved Jacob from Paul's death glare with this question.

Paul's head snapped toward you and he started to grow red in embarrassment or nervousness, you couldn't tell.

"I was, uh, I was wondering if you'd go on a date with me?"

You lightly gasped, unnoticeable to anyone but you, and your eyes slightly widened.

"O-oh wow," You mumbled and bent your head to look at the binder in your hands, trying to avoid the three sets of eyes on you. You felt the heat rise to your face and a shy smile grow. You weren't used to this type of attention especially from the boy you've been crushing on for three years, so you were a mix of nervous and shocked and happy. You were feeling everything at once.

"Only if you want to!" He started to backtrack when you didn't give him an answer.

You looked back up at him and shook your head at his words but you realized it looked like you were rejecting him when his face started to fall, disheartened.

"No! I mean, no, I don't mean no. I mean yes, I'll go on a date with you," You stammered, trying to clear everything up.

"Okay cool," He nodded and his pretty smile returned to his face. "I'll pick you up Saturday at noon?"

"Yeah, okay, sounds good."

"Okay cool," He repeated before walking away, making sure to give you a shy wave as he went toward Jared.

"What... the hell was that?" Jacob broke his silence and looked at you wide-eyed as you kept your eyes on Paul's retreating figure.

"Looks like I got a date."

—

The days leading up to your date had to be the most delightful days you've ever experienced while in high school.

On Wednesday morning, you were greeted by a smiley Paul who was leaning against your locker.

"Good morning," You smiled as he moved off your locker and leaned on the one next to yours.

"Morning! I thought I'd walk you to first period."

"Oh wow, you'll be early to class today," You teased, making him laugh and nod.

On Thursday, Paul walked you to class again; of course, you weren't complaining, you'd take any opportunity to talk to him. On this day, he met you at the doorway of the chem room and walked you to the cafeteria.

You thanked him as he opened the door for you and got hot in the face when you saw Ashley give you a wink and a thumbs up from the lunch table.

He kept you company as you waited in the lunch line and separated once you sat at your table, softly bidding you a good rest of the day.

And on Friday, everything was repeated but with a new addition.

Paul was waiting for you in the lobby and usually, Jacob would be trailing behind you but it was boys night for the boys and girls night for you and Ashley. So Jacob was catching a ride with Embry and Quil and Ashley was already waiting by your Jeep.

"Do you just want my schedule so you won't have to wait longer than you need to?" You asked him with a playful smirk.

"Then I'd officially be stalking you," He played along and followed you outside. He took your umbrella from your hands, opened it, and held it over your head to shield you from the rain.

"Are you always such a gentleman?" You giggled and looked up at him, his eyes already set on you and filled with admiration. "And it's not stalking if I want to be pursued."

"Oh really?" He raised an eyebrow.

You turned away and gave Ashley a quick smile once you reached the car.

"Do you need a ride?" You asked the boy next to you, turning back to face him.

"No, I've got a ride with Jared. But I'll see you tomorrow?"

"Can't wait," You confirmed and took the umbrella from his hands.

You shut the umbrella and got in the car as Paul walked over to Jared. You set the umbrella on the floor in the back and your backpack on the seat. Ashley followed your lead and punched your shoulder in excitement.

"Stop it," You whined and rubbed your shoulder.

As you pulled out of the parking spot, you drove by Paul and gave him one last wave before driving home to start the weekend.

Paul arrived the next day at exactly noon. When you heard the doorbell ring throughout the house, you sprinted down the stairs to make sure neither of your parents got there before you. You already told them you were going out with a friend earlier in the week but they assumed it was one of the dorks you usually spent your time with and you let them think that. You didn't want to introduce them to Paul just for things to not work out. It even took you a while to introduce them to Ashley. People meeting your parents is a sacred thing, a rite of passage if you will.

"You look gorgeous. You are gorgeous!" He greeted you with a bright smile.

"Thank you, though I'm just wearing jeans and a sweatshirt," You shrugged and shut the door behind you. "No offense, but you look tired. Did you get any sleep last night?"

"Oh no, it's okay," He shook his head and his eyes fell toward the ground while he thought of a response. "I just was anxious about the date is all. Couldn't really sleep much."

He walked you over to his truck and opened the door for you, which you thanked him for, before going over to the driver's side. "Oh, I'm sorry to hear that. Try to get some rest tonight. Some tea usually helps me. I'll give you a couple of my relaxation teabags when you bring me back home. Just remind me," You spoke softly while giving him a concerned look. "Will do," He nodded and pulled out of your driveway.

He brought you to your favorite diner in all of Washington and was super polite. He was opening the doors for you, pulling out your seat, and even paid for the meal even though you argued against it. And though he was tired, he was clinging onto every word you said, leaning in to show he was interested. "Is that your favorite food?" He asked once the waiter took your orders. "No, but I do enjoy it," You shrugged. "What's your favorite food then?" "I like any kind of pasta," You said after pondering for a moment. "Spaghetti, ravioli, lasagna, and anything else." And that's how it went the whole time. Paul would ask you questions, trying to get to know you in any way possible and you'd answer and ask him questions.

It was fun, there was never a dull moment, and even when things were getting quiet, he'd crack a joke that'd make you burst into laughter. It was the perfect date in your eyes; he was so polite and caring or maybe it was just you giving your crush more credit than he deserved, but that still didn't change how you felt.

When Monday came around, Paul was at your locker and classes, waiting for you and walking with you. At lunch, he was standing by your chem class with a Tupperware bowl in his hand and a nervous demeanor.

"Hey, what's that?" You asked and pointed to the bowl he was gripping onto tightly.

"I, uh, I brought you pasta. It's spaghetti. You said that pasta was your favorite food so I kinda made you some. Well, I helped make it," He nervously stumbled over his words, making you giggle. You stopped walking once you got to your table and he held his arms straight out, handing the bowl to you. "Here you go."

You felt the heat rise to your face once again and you took the bowl from him. You glanced down at the bowl before looking back up at him and pulling him into a hug.

"This was so beyond thoughtful. Thank you so much," You praised him and rubbed his back with your free hand. You pulled away and held the bowl up to your eyes so you could see the food. You set your hands back by your waist again and locked eyes with his, both sets of eyes filled with amazement. "This was so sweet."

"Anything for you," He nodded.

"I'll give it back to you right after lunch. I promise," You told him and held out a pinky.

He chuckled and grabbed onto your pinky with his own, "I believe you."

He let go of you and walked off to sit with Jared but you kept your eyes on him and watched his friend grab onto his shoulders and shake him happily.

You turned to your table and sat down, already replaying what just happened in your mind.

"Wow," Embry started.

"I've never seen you that cheesy before," Jacob chortled.

"I've never seen Paul that cheesy before," Quil scoffed. "So are you gonna share that?" He asked and pointed to your bowl.

"Anyway, Y/N, how was the date?" Ashley asked, pulling your attention from the boys.

"Oh it was great, he was very sweet! I like him. I told you guys he's not bad like everyone makes him out to be," You swooned at the thought of how you spent your Saturday.

"It's like he can hear you, that stupid grin won't leave his face," Embry observed, making you turn your head to look at Paul.

"So what if he's happy? Y/N's happy," Ashley regained your attention and you nodded at her statement.

"Very happy."

Once you finished up the spaghetti, you excused yourself from the table and went to go rinse it out. You walked over to Jared and Paul's table; Jared was the first to notice since Paul's back was toward you and pointed at you. You gave him a small smile before turning your attention to Paul.

"The food was really good. I rinsed the bowl out but of course, you'll have to wash it when you get home. Thank you again though," You spoke gratefully and handed the bowl back to him.

He took the bowl from you and then you proceeded to lean down and peck his cheek before scurrying back to your table in shock by your actions.

"This is a proud moment for me," Ashley feigned tears and held a hand over her chest, making you laugh.

—

For weeks it seemed like the joy Paul brought to your life was never-ending.

You've gone on a couple more dates which you thoroughly enjoyed. He took you to the movies but fell asleep within the first five minutes. You laughed quietly and shook your head as you rested on his shoulder.

He explained to you how he sometimes has to work overnight shifts at his job, so you didn't fault him for being tired. You tried to cancel the dates and get him to catch up on his sleep, but he insisted on spending time with you, making you adore him even more.

The two of you were in Port Angeles for the next date and while it was freezing, you were both sitting on a bench outside eating ice cream.

"You're not cold?" You looked at Paul as you shivered.

"No, are you?" He asked and you nodded your head quickly. "Come on, let's go sit in my truck."

You stood up and he wrapped an arm around your shoulders. You leaned into his warmth and hummed happily at the feeling of him.

He opened the door to his truck and helped you get in then shut the door behind you. He got in on the driver's side, turned the car on, and turned the heat on.

"You have that big coat on and you're still cold?" He teased.

"You only have a sweatshirt on and still feel hotter than the sun."

He laughed and watched you lean back in the seat and go back to eating your ice cream. You felt his eyes on you for a while but you kept your eyes on the rain that started to fall outside.

"You know, you could always just ask to take a picture," You teased, looking at him from your peripheral vision.

"Okay." He took his phone from his pocket and faced it toward you. "Smile!"

You turned to him enthusiastically and gave him a big childlike smile before giving him a regular one.

"Let me see," You softly demanded, losing the rush of confidence you just had.

He turned the screen to you and showed you the pictures.

"You're so beautiful," He complimented as he set his new screensaver as a picture of you. The heat automatically rose to your cheeks and giggled happily.

"I could say the same."

You looked up at him and met his eyes, your heart racing, and your stomach full of butterflies.

"Do you mind if I kiss you?" He asked politely, looking from your eyes to your lips, and then back.

"No, not at all," You slightly shook your head and leaned in closer.

He filled in the rest of the space and his lips gently landed on yours. He set his phone down and both of his hands reached up to cup your face. With your eyes shut, you focused on the kiss and how soft his lips were; you knew you were instantly addicted, not wanting to pull away. But you had to breathe, so when you pulled away, you gave him one last peck before coyly turning around to face the windshield and finish your ice cream.

"That was perfect."

—

Paul arrived at your house a week later, pulling you by your hand energetically into the woods.

"Paul, where are we going?" You giggled as you held onto his hand while stepping over a log.

"We're going to the beach but I have to tell you something. Well... show you something. That's why we're walking."

"Oh okay, what is it?"

"So, you've heard the Quileute legends, I'm sure" He started and pushed a tree branch out of the way. "Jacob has probably told you. But what if I told you it was real? And I'm a shapeshifter?"

"Uh, I'd probably laugh," You chuckled and looked up at him.

"Well, it's true. I can, uh, I can show you if you'd like," He stammered nervously and rubbed the back of your hand with his thumb.

You raised your eyebrows and nodded hesitantly. He pulled his hand from yours and backed up. He shook his head as he kicked his shoes off and stripped out of his clothes.

"Paul?" You questioned.

"Just trust me. I need you to know that I'd never hurt you," He said before he started shaking and getting red all over.

Your eyes widened and your feet moved backward to get some more distance as he leaped into the air and was suddenly on all fours.

"Paul?" You said once more but shakier.

In front of you stood a huge dark silver wolf that was five times larger than your boyfriend that previously stood in front of you. At first, he was intimidating but then once he noticed your frightened expression, he started whining and the wolf tried to come closer.

You wanted to step back but you remember he said he'd never hurt you, so you tried to relax your mind and reached a hand up to pet his head.

He snuggled into your palm and huffed happily. You let out a breath of relief and giggled when he licked your cheek.

"My Paul," You nodded, coming to terms with what is.

He reluctantly pulls away from your touch and goes over to where he left his clothes. He picked his shorts up in his mouth before walking away and going behind a tree somewhere.

You assumed he needed to change back so you grabbed his shirt and sneakers off the ground, but stayed put otherwise.

He jogged back over to you in his human form, already holding his hand out for you to take. You latched onto his hand and he took his sneakers out your hands, but let you keep his shirt.

"So do you believe me?" He asked, sarcasm laced in his voice, as he pulled you along toward the beach.

You nodded but asked the question that sat in the front of your mind. "Does it hurt when you..?" You trailed off, not knowing the right term.

"When I shift?" He finished. "It used to hurt a lot like my whole body was on fire but now it just feels like little pinches all over my body."

"I don't like that, Paul," You frowned and shook your head at the thought of him being in any type of pain.

"Oh, me either, Darling," He said while pulling you closer and kissing your forehead. "Also, you can't tell anyone. Not even Jacob. It's imperative that you don't."

"Okay," You nodded obediently before demonstrating you zipping your mouth closed and tossing the keys somewhere in the trees.

"Silly girl," He smiled.

"And what about Jared?"

"He shifts too. Along with Sam Uley. I'm sure you know him; La Push is only so big. We think Jacob might be next. Him or Embry."

"There's nothing they can do to stop it?" You asked him, worried for your friends.

"If the lee-" He cut himself off. "Sadly, no. If they seem a little off to you, a little more on edge than usual, tell me. And try to get some distance, I don't want you getting hurt if they shift."

You slipped your sneakers off once you got to the beach along with your socks and stuff them into the shoes. You insisted that you sat right there the water would be able to touch your feet but still far enough where your clothes jeans stayed dry.

Paul dragged you out of the house while you were only wearing a tank top on your upper body, so the beach air sent chills throughout your body. You pulled on Paul's plain brown shirt and leaned against him, your own personal heater.

"So being this warm is a wolf thing?" You inquired.

"Yeah," He nodded. "There's also something called imprinting."

"And what's that?"

Paul looked around to see if anyone was close enough to hear but it was 8:00 PM, no one would be here unless it was one of the boys.

"Basically it's like a soulmate; a soulmate mixed with love at first sight. After phasing, I was able to imprint. It was completely involuntary, I didn't have a choice. When you see the person, your person, it's like nothing else matters. They're the reason you've been put on this earth. It's your job to protect them. be whatever they want you to be. A friend, a lover. You just will do anything for them. It hurts to be away from them for too long. You hurt when they hurt," Paul explained while keeping his eyes on the moon ahead of him.

"You know the feeling?" You hesitantly asked while turning to look over at him. You didn't want to ask in case you weren't his imprint but the curiosity took over and you needed to know.

"I imprinted on you. You're my imprint," He confirmed.

"Oh," You breathed out and turned to look at the water that gently touched your toes.

You received a lot of information today. And then to find out that Paul imprinted on you gave you a lot of mixed emotions. You were happy that you found the person you're supposed to be with forever but now you were looking at the whole relationship differently.

"So when did you phase?" You asked, keeping your eyes down.

"You remember when I was out of school for a bit?"

"Mhm," You hummed quietly and nodded.

"That's when. I imprinted on you that day you were getting help in the chem room."

"So..." You trailed off, trying to think of the exact words you wanted to say. "You only asked me out because you imprinted on me?"

"Yes," He answered quickly but then shook his head when he realized what you were trying to get at. "No, I mean no. It's not like that."

"I've had a crush on you since freshman year. I thought you'd finally noticed me and wanted me for me, but I guess it's only because of the imprint," You humorlessly chuckled and held your knees to your chest.

"No, Y/N, it's not like that-"

"Think about it, Paul. You've never noticed me before and our school is so tiny; La Push is only so big like you said. Everyone knows everyone and you still didn't notice me. You would've never even breathed in my direction had it not been for the imprint. I'm only beautiful, or gorgeous... or stunning, because the imprint tells you I am. You don't really think that and you don't really like me. Be honest with yourself," You ranted but still had a soft and gentle voice.

"Y/N..."

"I want to be with someone who chooses to love me. You are forced to love me," You sniffled and wiped your nose with your hand.

It was silent for a while after that and you just let the tears fall down your face. Somewhere deep down you knew everything with Paul was all too good to be true but you ignored it. You believed you were finally getting the fairytale story you deserved. But this wasn't it. It was like some twisted joke the universe was playing on you. And you just wanted someone to hold you. You wanted Paul to hold you and tell you everything would be alright. Despite how you were feeling, you still felt a sense of safety and home around him. But you couldn't fall into that anymore. You were now full-on bawling your eyes out and hiccuping while trying to keep the sobs from escaping your body.

"For your sake, l-let's still be friends. But for m-my sake, very distant friends-"

"Y/N, please-"

"Goodbye, Paul."

You stood up quickly and grabbed your shoes, trudging through the sand. You let a sob escape your mouth once you were a distance away. You felt it getting harder to breathe, so you picked up the pace, wanting to get to your destination before you passed out. There was only one place you could think of going that gave you the same warmth and homeliness you felt in Paul's arms. Jacob's.

[AN: omg I’m so nervous about posting this but I’ve been working on it for weeks and I’m really proud of it. thanks for reading!]

#stylesluxx #paul lahote #twilight #paul lahote imagine #paul lahote x reader #twilight x reader #twilight imagine #wolf pack imagine #Paul Lahote angst #Paul lahote fluff #wolfpack

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gale-gentlepenguin · 5 years ago

Text

ML Fic: Soulmate Survey Part 30 (12K Follower Special)

(Master Post)

I want to thank you guys for being so patient with this fic. Its hard to believe its been a year since I first wrote part 1. I have been agonizing over this part for so long, I hope you all enjoy it. PS, I would love to hear what you guys think. And please share it around.)

_______________________________________________________________________

Lila used her key to unlock the front door. She quietly entered only to see her mother smiling at her.

“I was wondering where you were. How is everything honey?” Her mother greeted.

Lila put on a smile for her and greeted her with a cheek kiss. She was not expecting to see her mother up. She would have sworn she would be asleep. The work at the embassy often left her mother drained, it was rare when she was up an about at night when she was home.

“I had to slip by the school. Make sure that I had everything I needed for tomorrow.” She answered.

“Studious as always. I am so proud of you.”

“Of course! If I want to be as amazing as you I have to keep up with my school work.”

Lila knew her mother would eat up the flattery. Her mother was a gullible woman that loved to be complimented. She was not stupid, but she was far too trusting. The brunette knew all too well that her mother had often had her kindness taken advantage of by others.

“I was listening to the answering machine messages, and I noticed your principal called. He says that he is glad to have you back from your leave of absence?”

Lila didn’t bother sweating the comment.

“It's an error with the school computer. Remember how my old school had similar issues? I will clear it up this week.”

“Of course. School systems don’t really change much wherever you go, we really need to discuss that at the next meeting.”

“Don’t worry Mamma, I am making the most of it.”

“Mia stellina I know you will. That is why I got you a gift.”

“Oh?”

Lila watched as her mother pulled out a small box that was gift wrapped. Handing it to her daughter.

“I am sorry I had been gone most of last week. Things have been hectic. What with the… oh you don’t need to worry about all that. I saw this on my way back and I was saving it for your birthday, but I figured now would be a good time.”

Lila opened the present to reveal a lovely silver bracelet, with a small charm in the shape of an eye mask. Her mother knew Lila had a love of masks and would make sure that if there was some place she went that was interesting, she would get her a mask from that place.

“Thank you, Mamma, it is lovely.” Lila hugged her mother. Managing to hide how little she actually cared about the gift.

“I knew you would love it. It will look so lovely on you when we go out to dinner with your boyfriend.”

“Boyfriend?”

“The handsome blond model you told me about. Adrien?”

“Oh! Right. Yes of course. My boyfriend. Though I am not sure he will be able to have dinner with us anytime soon. His father has him on such a strict schedule.”

Mrs. Rossi frowned.

“We can work something out another time. I’d really like to meet him.”

“I’m sure he feels the same way.”

Lila began making her way to her room.

“I think I’m going to get ready for school tomorrow.”

“Alright dear, I will be here all day tomorrow, maybe I can swing by your school and we can have lunch together.”

“Sounds great. Looking forward to it.”

Lila closed the door to her room.

She let her fake smile leave her face as she looked at the bracelet.

Tacky

Lila didn’t hate the gift, no, she did like that her mother did take the time to get her something. She just wished her mother could have gotten her something better. But really, Lila couldn’t really expect much despite how hard her mother works.

Lila looked over the bracelet more, her mind wandering as she stared at the little mask charm. It looked reminiscent of the masks worn in Mascaraed balls. Lila had to admit it was very fitting.

Everyone wears masks. People sculpt a persona, a personality in which they deal with people. They wear it as best as they can. People often change their masks as they grow or go to new environments. Lila was well aware of that. She was practically a master of it at this point.

Even her sweet naïve momma wears a mask. The mask that she is happy and doing fulfilling work. Lila knows better than anyone that her mother was practically forced to take this position.

Being a diplomat to Paris was considered the worst option when given a choice. Considering how there are depressed supervillains that pop up and nearly destroy the city several times a week because of a Super Terrorist’s quest for jewelry. Lila remembered how her momma tried so hard to spin this into a positive light. How this was her first role as an ambassador and that if she proved herself, she could choose her next assignment. Lila would have rather had gone to any country other than France, even America was preferable and they have their own craziness to deal with. Nevertheless, her mother did her best to be cheerful as she was thrown into this.

Lila refused to be like that, one’s mask should be the person they want to be, not the person they have to be. She would try out a different persona with each place she went, and sure enough, she would leave with a fun experience just before everything went crumbling down. She would then start from scratch and no one was the wiser.

Paris turned out to be the best place for this, since everything here is so bizarre here, no one would think twice about looking into a lie that seems outlandish. So, Lila allowed herself to be a bit more reckless with her actions. She had to admit, that her carelessness now needed to be corrected, she had allowed herself to get too lax with how good things have been and it nearly blew her cover 3 times. She needed to fix things.

She snapped back to reality, staring at the bracelet. She still wasn’t a fan of the look, but it was still a gift from her mother.

She would wear it tomorrow for her lunch with her mother. But afterwards she can slip it into her bag or something and forget about it. Her mother would be back to being worked like crazy and forget about it after two weeks.

Her phone began vibrating, pulling her out of her thoughts.

She looked at the number and her eyes went wide. It was Alya.

Did that nosy reporter see her at the school?! No, that can’t be possible. She was likely calling about something else. The Italian exchange student took a calming breath and answered her phone.

“Evening Alya? Whats up”

“Hey girl.” Alya greeted with her usual cheery tone. Alya was doing her best not to be in a fiery rage right now, she needed to be calm. A good reporter keeps calm under pressure. “I am just working on an article for the Ladyblog. Do you have a few minutes to talk?”

“Of course. So, if it’s for the Ladyblog it must be ladybug related. What do you want to ask about? I am an open book.” Lila matched the cheery tone Alya had given her, she was hiding her absolute disgust over the subject. Ladybug was one of the last people Lila wanted to talk about right now, especially with how that heroine left her locked in a closet during the last akuma attack.

“Oh, it’s about akumatization. You know, that thing with the butterflies that maniacal monster Hawkmoth does to people. I am writing an article of how it impacts people and with how close you are with Ladybug, I figured she might have leaked a detail or two that I wasn’t aware of. Do you mind answering some questions about it?”

This wasn’t a complete lie, Alya was writing about Akumatization, but it was about Lila’s times as an akuma specifically.

“Well I might have a detail or two that could be shared. Ask away!”

Lila knew she had already had a close call with Alya earlier this week, she didn’t want to give the reporter a single reason to think she was a bad person. She could lie about a thing or two if needed to ensure that this line was secure, until she left the girl dangling from a cliff.

“Great! Thanks for doing this. You are a life saver.”

“Glad I can help, so bring on the questions.”

“Right. First question, how many times have you been akumatized?”

Lila was about to answer three, once during her first time in Paris, once during Heroes’ day, and once during her day back, that of course wouldn’t be good. She had said during Heroes’ day she was on a leave of absence outside of Paris. So that won’t do.

“Two. Once on my first day at Dupont, and the second time on my first day back.”

She is Lying

Alya had noticed the lie, Lila had been akumatized at least three times. Once was during her first day, the second time was at Heroes’ day because there were reports of Volpina among the akuma army. If Lila was out of France at that time, Volpina couldn’t have possibly been there. The day she got back had to have been her third time akumatized.

“I see, and during both of those times you felt intense emotional distress. Correct?”

“My memory is a bit fuzzy on them, but yes. I can say that I felt emotionally vulnerable.”

“As expected. And you have no memory of the activities you did while you were an akuma?”

“That is correct. If I was in complete control, there is no way I would have done such awful things.”

“Of course, you wouldn’t. Now this question is a bit more of a confirmation, something of a rumor among the Ladyblog. There is some speculation that if you accept the akuma willingly, you will maintain your memory of what happened while as an akuma. Is that something you can confirm?”

“Yes, Ladybug mentioned it once during a conversation. She was worried that Hawkmoth had some ‘Supporters’ that willingly did his bidding. I also believe if the person gives up the akuma willingly back to Hawkmoth they retain their memories during their time as an akuma. But I am not certain of that.” Lila added a touch of some truth to make it appear more legit that she and Ladybug are close. That is some personal information she discovered for herself. Lila was certain that this would ensure Alya trusted her.

Alya was certain Lila was willingly working with Hawkmoth and that she would never trust this liar ever again.

“Oh wow, that is very interesting. So just to assure the readers that you aren’t one of those followers. Have you ever accepted the akuma for yourself willingly?” Alya made sure the question had a lighthearted tone to come off as a joke.

Lila laughed.

“Willingly work with that butterfly creep? You would have to be someone with no empathy to even consider it.”

“One last thing, is it alright if I quote you in my article? If not, I will keep your name out of the…”

“By all means go ahead. I would love to be a part of your work if you want me to be.”

“Alright, I’ve got everything I need. Thanks again Lila. I should have this article out by tomorrow.”

“Anytime. I’m looking forward to reading it.”

“Have a good night.”

“You too.”

Lila hung up the phone with a content smile.

She is none the wiser. I even did a little bit of good letting her in on that bit of information on Hawkmoth. That should send some good karma my way

Lila smiled as yawned suddenly. She decided now would be a good time for bed.

_______________________________________________________________________

Alya smiled as she made sure she was off the call.

“Thanks Lila, you have no idea how much help that was.”

She had transcribed the interview into her article as she was talking with the liar.

She read through it to make sure there were no errors

“Alright, and this will be up tomorrow morning after first period.”

She scrolled up to the top page of the article which read:

Friend of Ladybug or Akuma Collaborator? The Truth on Lila Rossi

“Now to add the last few edits before going to bed.”

_______________________________________________________________________

The ride back to the Dupain Bakery was quiet for most of it. It seemed to fly by as the two teens held hands while the large mountain of a man drove them back.

Everything felt so surreal. A wonderful breakfast, a pleasant time of checking out the latest exhibits of the Louvre, a peaceful stroll through the park, an intense session of ice skating, and the dramatic confession on the top of the Eiffel tower which did not go as expected, but still went over very well.

“Marinette.”

“Yes Adrien?”

The blond model felt his face heat up a bit as he tried to speak up.

“So… I guess we can cancel that idea of talking things over in a week.” Adrien said with a nervous laugh.

“Yea… I suppose so.” She giggled.

The two were both happy with how things turned out, but both were still sort of shocked on what to do now.

“How are we going to tell the others? Should we text them so they aren’t stunned?”

“I think this is something that would be better told in person.”

“You mean bragged about?” Adrien teased.

“Maybe.”

The two blushed at this before laughing more. They felt like toddlers that were let loose in a candy store. Excited and bubbly.

“So, we tell them tomorrow then?”

“Yes,”

“Alright, sounds like a plan.”

The limo stops, causing the two to move slightly forward but their seatbelts kept them from moving off the seat.

“I guess this is my stop.”

“Let me get the door for you.”

“Oh, you don’t have to.”

“And what gentleman would I be if I didn’t help a Lady out of the car?”

Marinette’s eyes went wide for a moment. The way he said that rang familiar. But she shook that out of her head. She was going to stop comparing him to chat noir.

Adrien didn’t notice the brief blank out as he got out of the car to open her side.

Marinette got out of the vehicle and gave him a smile.

“Why thank you, kind sir.”

“Shall I walk with you to the door?”

Marinette gave the polite gentleman teen a kiss on the cheek.

“Here is good enough. If you walked with me to the door, My Parents would likely invite you in, and your father would be upset if you were gone any later than necessary”

“Very true.”

Adrien mentally cursed at the fact that his father had a stick up his ass the size of the Eiffel Tower.

“Good night Marinette.”

“Good night Adrien.”

Marinette walked to her door and used her key to enter the bakery.

Once the door was closed, Adrien went back into the limo, he closed the door and sighed happily.

“It’s a beautiful night.”

The driver said nothing as he began driving the boy home, but he did have a small ghost of a smile on his face.

______________________________________________________________________

Marinette closed the door behind her before sliding down with a loving sigh. Her legs were jelly.

Her kwami flew out of her bag.

“Seems everything went well.” The ladybug kwami commented with a sly smile.

“I’m dating Adrien Agreste.” Marinette stated blissfully. Her eyes were sparkling as if she had found the 8thwonder of the world.

“I am so happy for you Marinette. I knew you could do it.”

“This must be a dream. All of this is some dream, I’m still in bed and I slept through my alarm. Adrien is actually downstairs waiting and probably regretting every… OW!”

Marinette noticed her kwami had pinched her hand.

“Tikki! Why did you do that?!”

“To prove you were awake.”

Marinette paused before going back to her joyous expression.

“Its real!”

The kwami loved seeing her chosen so happy.

“We should probably head upstairs, you have to tell your parents all about it. I believe your dad was keen on finding out details.”

“Right! I have to tell them everything.”

Marinette had so many people she wanted to tell. Her parents, Alya, the girls, Chat noir…

She felt herself stop.

“Marinette?”

“I’ll have to tell Chat noir.” Her feelings felt a bit jumbled now that this thought was given life. And something told her this would not be as much fun as telling the others, whether it was because of how he would feel or how she feels about it.

“That can wait another time, you can’t just lay on the bakery floor.” Tikki commented, trying to change the mood.

“Good point, I should probably get up.”

Marinette knew she would have to tell the cat sometime, but there would be a right time and place. Right now, was a time to be happy and enjoy the fact that she was dating her crush.

_______________________________________________________________________

Adrien arrived home to see Nathalie waiting at the door.

“And how was your day with Miss Dupain Cheng?” Nathalie inquired, her usual monotone hid her genuine interest.

The blond smiled a bit.

“You will be seeing her around me a lot more, I will need to work with you to rearrange my schedules if I want to be able to have time with her.”

“I see. I will see what I can do.”

“Is father…”

“He is occupied with work, you’ll be able to tell him about your day during your scheduled dinner this upcoming Friday.”

Adrien’s smile faltered slightly, he thought things were going to be different with how his father had shown sudden interest in his life the other day. But this was likely for the best.

“Thank you, Nathalie. I will be heading to my room. Have a good night.”

“You too Adrien.”

Adrien headed to his room. Despite his father’s absence on the matter, he was still in a good mood and he would not let the distance get to him.

His smile blossomed once his door was closed and his kwami companion bursted out of his pocket

“Well done Romeo, you got the girl.” The cat kwami congratulated his wielder as he moved to his stash to help himself to some cheese.

“It’s kind of hard to believe it’s real. It feels like a dream. I didn’t think I could be this happy, Plagg.”

“Well good, you deserve to be happy considering all the crap you go through.” Plagg stated as he found a nice chunk of Camembert with extra stink.

Adrien laid back on his bed, he could just revel in the warmth of this day for a while.

“I wonder how everyone will react to finding out. I kind of want to text Nino and let him know.”

“I don’t really understand the big deal with this reveal stuff. You are acting like this is an unmasking ceremony or something.”

Plagg realized his words may not have been wisely picked.

“That’s right, I will need to let Ladybug know.”

Adrien was silent, his expression hard to read as his words hung in the air.

“You are okay with all of this right?” Plagg asked.

“I did say that no matter who was under that mask, I would love that girl. I meant it, but there are many different types of love. It doesn’t need to be romantic. I think it took me some time to realize that.”

Plagg chomps on to his cheese.

“Well, as long as you are sure.”

Adrien stretched.

“I should get ready for bed”

“Why? It’s still early.”

“I don’t want to be tired when I see Marinette tomorrow.”

Plagg rolled his eyes at the soft smile on the blond’s face.

“I don’t know how you did it, but you are actually cheesier then cheese.”

_______________________________________________________________________

“Okay Kim, I get it. The guy in the show modified himself to look like a cucumber.”

“Max, you aren’t even listening! It was a pickle! A pickle, Max! I swear it is the funniest…”

Max was distracted. By his phone vibrating.

“Hold on Kim, I got a text from Alya, it might be urgent. I will have to call you back.”

“That’s cool, but I am showing you that clip. It is hilarious. “

Max secretly thankful that he had an excuse to hang up. He loved his friend, but he had weird taste.

Max looked at the text.

Everything is set up, make sure that the mass email goes up after first period starts. We need to have everyone is in class.

Max understood. he would adjust the time that everything got sent out.

Affirmative, Any other last-minute requests?

Max waited for a snarky reply from Alya.

Nah, we’re good. Thanks Again.

Max sent a thumbs up emoji and put the phone to the side.

“Markov. Adjust the timing of the mass email to 15 minutes after first period.”

The robot turned his mechanical screen to his creator.

“Consider it done”

“Thanks Markov.”

Max took a deep breath and called Kim back.

“So, you were saying about the pickle.”

_______________________________________________________________________

Lila assumed she would be the first to arrive at school. She had made sure to get up earlier than usual so she could slip into the school and make sure everything was set up. To her surprise, she had found the classroom had two students sitting at their desks.

“Alya, Nino. You’re both here early.” Lila did her best not to sound mad about it.

Nino yawned as he drank from the coffee that he had bought with Alya before coming.

“Alya was so hyped about today she couldn’t sleep. So, She called me this morning and asked for a coffee date to help keep her awake.”

Alya was snoozing on her desk face first.

“Maybe get a double shot for her, she seems really exhausted. Wait was this about that paper for the ladyblog she was writing?”

“Wait you know about that?” Nino’s eyes wide, how did Lila know about the article? Was this plan going to backfire? Nino wasn’t sure if he said too much.

“Yea, she called me last night to answer a few questions. She was pretty excited about it. I suppose an article about akumatization would be popular.”

Nino eased himself, it’s clear Lila did not know what was in the article.

“Ah, well she was working on it all weekend.”

“Knowing Alya, that article will be exactly what she needs to get buzz on the blog.”

“I couldn’t agree more.”

Lila strolled up to her seat, it was clear the exhausted Alya and Drowzy Nino didn’t notice the evidence she had planted under Marinette’s chair. Lila smiled as she thought about how well today would go.

Lila pulled out her stuff and began to survey the classroom. Everything was set up exactly as she had done yesterday. All she needed to do was wait for everyone to show up, and then let the plan go into motion.

Nino sat at his desk, he was pretending to not be paying attention, but he was keeping watch of the devious liar. Lila was sneaky, and his girlfriend was in the middle of a power nap to be observant. Of course, he knew he wasn’t the most convincing fibber, so he would need to be subtle in keeping a close eye on the liar.

Lila had gotten up from her desk and left the classroom for a brief moment. She felt herself shudder.

What is this chill I’m getting, something doesn’t seem right with those two… are they suspicious?

Lila shook the thought out of her head. It was clear that they were just tired, likely on edge from lack of sleep. Getting paranoid would lead to her getting sloppy again. She needed to play this right. Today was the day everything started going her way again.

_______________________________________________________________________

Marinette was bubbly on her way to school. She couldn’t wait to tell Alya and the girls all about what happened yesterday. She knew that Alya would probably be over the moon, and something like this could only be said in person, texting would ruin the moment.

“Marinette, you might want to slow down.” Tikki pipped up from her bag. “I think someone is nearby.”

The designer slowed her pace a bit.

Marinette closed her bag and turned around to see a blond teen running up to her.

“Adrien?”

Marinette stopped to let the boy catch up.

“I… I wanted to surprise you at the bakery.” He said between breaths. “I wanted to walk with you to school.”

Marinette felt her cheeks warm at the statement.

“But I … miscalculated how far you were from my house and to make up for time… I sprinted.”

“You usually have your bodyguard drive you to class. Is your father okay with you walking to school?”

Adrien finished catching his breath.

“He doesn’t know and it’s probably better that he doesn’t, but I let my bodyguard know in advance. He seemed fine with it… Just as long as I message him when I am at school.”

“Sneaking out of the house to meet with a girl, I didn’t know I was dating a badboy.”

Adrien looked at Marinette with surprise until he realized she was joking. He found himself chuckling.

“Now you know the truth, I also have a leather jacket in my closet.” Adrien said while doing his best to look tough to play up the ‘Bad boy’ look he was trying and failing to portray.

Marinette giggled at that lame attempt. Adrien loved that sound.

“I don’t think I can imagine that. Besides, I like good boys.”

Marinette started walking to school.

Adrien sighed happily before matching her pace to join her.

He reached out his hand to hold hers, still nervous about how to go about this dating thing. Sure enough, Marinette was more than happy to hold his hand.

______________________________________________________________________

“I’m up!” Alya exclaimed as she shot up.

“Aw man! Now the moment is gone. I was going to draw on her face.” A pink haired teen frowned, as she held an open marker in her hand but Nino was standing in between her and the formerly sleeping teen.

The reporter quickly gathered her bearings and looked at the smaller teen.

“Like hell you are going to mark up my face.”

“Well now that you’re awake it’s no fun.” Alix commented with dissatisfaction. “Maybe later.”

Alya rolled her eyes. She is too tired to deal with whatever Alix is up to.

“I’m glad you got up, I wasn’t sure I could hold her off any longer.” Nino sighed in relief.

Alya stretched in order to wake herself up from her lethargic state.

“Did school start yet?”

“Not yet, but most of the class is here”

“Anything suspicious with you-know-who?”

“She was the first one to arrive in class after us. She went outside for about 5 minutes then came back into her seat. After that, nothing weird.”

“Okay, and I guess you didn’t notice anything else.”

“Nothing”

“Okay, and why does Alix want to draw on my face so bad? Did she make a bet with Kim?”

“Kim bet her 10 Euros that she wouldn’t be able to do it.”

“She will be out some cash.”

Chloé walked into the classroom with Sabrina following shortly behind. It was apparent that the mayor’s daughter was in a mood.

She looked up to Max’s seat and moved her way up. The robot enthusiast didn’t realize she was there until she slammed her hand on his desk. The sudden action startled him and made him look up at the clearly driven teen.

“I did some digging about your little app.” Chloé spat with disgust.

It took Max a moment to figure out what she was referring to.

“Oh, you mean ‘Soulmate Searcher.”

“I know all about that Soulmate Survey bull crap.”

Max had lost interest in that whole thing after he had some more startling information revealed to him. He had even forgot about the argument he had with Chloé.

“Wait, you’re still hung up on that?”

“You were the one talking about how smart and junk it was. I had Sabrina do some digging.”

Max looked to Sabrina, the poor ginger haired girl had a rough night. Likely researching for Chloé.

“Look, I kind of moved past looking into it. So, let’s just agree to disagree and move on.”

Chloé glared at the glasses wearing teen and snapped her fingers.

On cue, Sabrina dumped at least a couple dozen pages on the desk.

Max really didn’t care about this right now, he had a much more important objective to focus on, this was an annoying distraction.

Astonishingly it was Nathanael that picked up a few of the articles.

“These are all written by the same guy.” The artist commented as he kept changing articles to see if there was a second opinion by someone else.

Curious, some of the other classmates moved to the pile of papers.

“Some of these are also old articles, like back when the app wasn’t even a thing here.” Myléne chimed in.

“One of the articles even has an author’s note on the bottom that says that this article holds inaccuracies that no longer apply.” Rose Quipped.

Chloé turned a fiery gaze at Sabrina.

“I told you to research thoroughly!”

“You told me to find anything that was written dismissing the app as fake. This was what I was able to find…”

Chloé grumbled.

“Whatever! I know that app is crap.”

Chloé stormed down to her desk and threw herself on her seat, only to hear a creaking noise and then fall with a painful slam to the floor. The loud noise blocking out the sound of the morning bell.

Chloé’s scream was loud enough to draw the attention of Miss Bustier who ran into the room.

“Is everyone alright? I heard a scream?” The young teacher clearly frantic with worry.

The class was silent as the teacher noticed Chloé on the floor clearly in pain from her bench seat that had fallen apart.

Lila was the first to speak up.

“Chloé’s seat fell apart.”

Lila dashed down to Chloé.

“Are you alright Chloé, that looked like it hurt.” Lila offered her hand to the fallen student.

Chloé took Lila’s hand up and grumbled as she covered her bruised tailbone.

“I want whoever made the seat fired and jailed!”

“It probably broke from the weight of your ego.” Juleka commented dryly.

Chloé turned to the long-haired teen with a grimace.

“I bet you did this you, emo freak!”

“Chloé! We do not insult our classmates.” Miss Bustier scolded. “I understand you are hurt from the fall, but it isn’t right to lash out at your classmates. Apologize to Juleka.”

Chloé moved turned away from the class with a huff.

“I am not saying anything until the jerk that destroyed my seat pays.”

Alya took notice that Lila was digging through the seat. What could she be…”

“Umm, I found something…” Lila’s words caught the classes attention.

Lila pulled out a hair tie that looked familiar.

“Isn’t that Marinette’s Hair tie?” Sabrina piped up.

‘That manipulative bitch! Lila did this!” Alya felt her thoughts scream at her.

“I knew that she was in on this! She made sure she wasn’t here to catch me off guard!”

“It could just be a coincidence.” Lila spoke out. “Marinette isn’t even here yet. It might have gotten lost under here by accident.”

Alya felt her mind screech, this wasn’t adding up, why would Lila bother with the hair tie? What was Lila planning?

Most of the class had gotten out of their seats to look to see the situation.

Max took a closer look at the collapsed seat.

“There are no breaks in the boards, and no screws or bolts to be found. I calculate a 98.7% chance that someone must have removed them from the chair. Someone did sabotage Chloé’s seat.”

The class gasped in surprise.

“I knew it! And I bet it was Marinette that did it!”

“Marinette would never do such a thing!” Alya jumped up. “I know my girl would not stoop to something like this, even if it is Chloé.”

“Perhaps we can check her locker. If there is nothing involving the seat we can clear her.”

“Wait! You can’t just invade Marinette’s privacy.”

Miss Bustier pondered for a moment.

“If we are going to search Marinette’s locker, she will need to be present. She should give her consent before we invade her space.”

“But if she is responsible she would obviously not want us to check!” Chloé shouted. “I will call my daddy and he will have the cops on the case!”

“T-That won’t be necessary!” Miss Bustier eased. She hated how much influence Chloé had thanks to her father’s position. She couldn’t just punish Chloé or simply tell her not to act out. Principal Damocles made sure to explain the delicate balance they had to maintain thanks to Chloé’s presence. She can’t teach her students if Chloé starts getting the police involved.

“I will discuss the concern with the Principal. I am sure he will make the right call and we will decide how to go about this. In the meantime, everyone please sit in your seats. Chloé, if you are still hurt, please have someone escort you to the nurse’s office.”

“I will not be leaving until I get whoever did this expelled.” Chloé hissed.

“In that case, sit in one of the open seats until we can get the seat fixed. Sabrina, you as well.”

The red head teacher made her way out of the classroom.

Chloé turned her attention to the class.

“Alright, I don’t care what Bustier says, Marinette clearly was responsible for destroying my chair and I want some justice!”

“Chloé, just because Marinette’s hair tie was under the desk doesn’t mean that she did it. Besides, when could she have done it?” Ivan pointed out.

“Well then who else could have done it?”

“To be fair, all of us pretty much hate your guts, it could be anyone.” Alix commented as she leaned back.

“So, you admit you did it!”

“I wish! But nah, this wasn’t my handy work. I would have signed it. Because that, would be art.”

The tomato haired artist chuckled at his friend’s comment. Alix gave him a quick fistbump.

Chloé growled.

“You have just as much of an idea who did this as we all do.” Myléne stated firmly.

“Sabrina!”

“Yes Chloé?”

“Who have I wronged in this classroom?”

“Um… everyone.”

“I meant recently.”

“Right… lets see…”

Sabrina went into her phone.

“You had that argument with Max about the app, insulted Myléne’s favorite charity and called the cause stupid, Told Rosé that the reason Prince Ali hasn’t written back to her in the last few weeks was because he was sick of her, told kim his swim cap makes him look like a bowling pin, mocked Nathanael and Alix’s art project collaboration, and… Oh! You also made fun of Marinette’s design sketches. I think that was it for last week. It was a light week.”

“So, there are the obvious suspects.” Chloé exclaimed with a smirk.

“Now if Marinette would get here we would have a perfect line up.”

Lila smirked at the little show, this was all going perfectly. Naturally Marinette would show up just as Miss Bustier got the principal involved. That would lead to the search of the designer’s locker, where Lila had expertly planted the screws and tools that she used to dismantle Chloé’s seat, along with items that she took from other lockers, including her own stuff to make sure Marinette got punished. Based on what she knew, that would be enough to get Marinette suspended, possibly expelled. Either one would work out wonderfully, and with that she could start destroying each person she cared about one by one.

“What about a line up?” a teen boy voice called out.

Chloé turned to see Adrien and Marinette entering the classroom.

The room was silent as the two teens walked in. The whole class watching the duo intently, as if seeing something quite shocking.

“Is something wrong?” Marinette inquired, looking around the room.

She noticed the dismantled bench seat.

“Chloé what happened to your seat?”

Chloé’s jaw opened as she approached.

“Forget the seat! What is this!” She gestured to the two with clear shock and disgust.

Adrien and Marinette look at the mayor’s daughter with confusion before looking at what she was gesturing to. The two realized they had been holding hands the entire time.

“Oh, I think we all know what it is.” Alya’s comment burst through the silence, a smug smile on her face.

“But it would be best to hear it from them.” Nino chimed in, assisting his girlfriend in the playful ribbing of their best friends.

Marinette and Adrien felt their faces turn red and they let go of the other’s hand.

“Well actually its uh, my hand was… I mean his hand was… I …” Marinette tried to get the words out but felt her mouth failing her.

Adrien put his hand on her shoulder.

“Is it wrong for a guy to hold hands with a girl he is dating?”

Marinette felt her heart in her ears as he said that.

Adrien then looks to Nino.

“It is right? Im still new to this and the shows I watched kind of made it a big deal so Im not sure.” He whispers.

Nino nods.

Adrien looks back at Chloé now more assured.

“This is ridiculous! Utterly Ridiculous!”

Chloé stomped away from the two, just unable to handle the truth.

The mayor’s daughter walked out the door complaining about how she was going to be sick at this.

The class quickly swarmed the around the new couple and Alya slipped back to allow the class to ask them questions. She would get the details later.

Lila felt herself seething despite the smile she had on her face. This was not how things were supposed to be going. Even with her plan, Marinette won’t be miserable.

“Not going in?” Alya asked,

“Huh? Oh, I am sure I can ask questions later. Everyone has been waiting on this longer then I have.” The brunette commented as she kept up her façade.

She would have a word with Gabriel about this… actually she might not have to. If her plan goes well, Gabriel would never let Adrien be with someone that could besmirch the Gabriel brand. If word got out that Adrien’s new girl was kicked out of school, the tabloids would rip the girl apart for her. That thought soothed her.

“Besides, we should be concerned about what happened with Chloé’s seat. Max did say it was sabotage. We should focus on getting to the bottom of that.”

Alya looked at the clock. She noticed with everything going on, it was well into first period.

“I think something more important will come up.”

Alya went back to her desk with a sly smile on her face.

Lila felt a chill go down her spine. What did she mean by that?

As if on cue, everyone noticed their phones going off.

The class stop asking the couple questions as they look at their phones, wondering what was with the sudden message

Lila quickly pulled out her phone. Her face went pale as she looked at the attachment titled.

‘The True face of Lila Rossi’

______________________________________________________________________

Mr. Damocles was staring at his computer with shock as Miss Bustier stood in the room.

“It’s unbelievable… the records that we were waiting on for Miss Rossi are all here.” The principle spoke in bewilderment.

The young teacher watched as Mr.Damocles looked through each file.

“So many reprimands… dozens of student and teacher complaints…. False doctor’s notes…”

“This can’t be real, right? Lila has been a good student. Sure, she had a leave of absence but that was because she was abroad with her mother.”

“These documents are all legitimate. They are all from the previous school Miss Rossi attended, she had failed to notify us of any of the following when she was enrolled here! We could never have accepted a student with such a notorious record.” The principal sternly noted.

“Mr.Damocles please, it could be possible that Miss Rossi was scared about the whole situation. Perhaps this was her chance to start things right.”

“Caline, your kindness and compassion for your students is quite admirable, however, these records still show that there was a lot Miss Rossi has been hiding from us. I will be requesting that she and her mother have a discussion with me. After that, we will decide on whether she can stay Dupont.”

“But what about the issue with Chloé’s chair?”

“You mentioned that Chloé is not injured? Then it can wait until after we sort things out with Miss Rossi.”

“Understood.”

The young teacher left the office, she began to start questioning her actions as a teacher. Was Lila really a bad egg? Was she an awful teacher for not realizing that Lila had been lying to her? She stopped at the door to her classroom when she heard the sound of her students talking.

______________________________________________________________________________

Lila could feel everything falling apart around her as she watched her classmates look at their phones with interest.

She needed to find a way out of this. She needed to think of something fast.

“Lila, is this true?” Nathanael asked in surprise.

The rest of the class looking up from their phones, their expressions a mix of anger, hurt and shock. Marinette and Adrien seemed to be the only ones that seemed unsurprised by the message.

Lila racked her brain for several seconds, until the perfect lie crafted itself in her brain.

Lila fell to her knees and started to cry.

“I thought I was free of that cyber bully from my old school…” Her words hitting the right notes.

“Cyber bully?” Rose spoke up.

Lila knew she had landed one person that was willing to believe. And much like a composer, she crafted her symphony of deceit.

“Yes, you see. Back at my old school, there was this guy I was friends with. He was a smart guy with computers, almost as smart as Max.”

“Wait, if you were friends, why is he bullying you?” Kim inquired.

Most of the class was being pulled in by Lila’s thread.

“He had a huge crush on me, while I did think he was nice, I just couldn’t see him as anything more than a friend. I told him that after he confessed to me. After that however, things started to turn bad. It started out with some minor things, a couple of spam emails, a text with a pop up scare. I could tell he was hurt so I didn’t call him out on it, I was sure he would heal and things could go back to normal… but then he started getting worse.”

“He started hacking into my phone, sending out messages to my other friends, making it seem like I hated them.” Lila made her voice more frantic, as if living through a trauma.

She could tell the class that had been looking at the phones with rage were now back under her thumb, she had them.

“I lost all of my friends, no matter what I tried to say, they shut me off. That guy destroyed my friend group. I went up to him and demanded he come clean. He refused, laughing as he insulted me. He had decided he was going to ruin my life.”

Kim went to the teacher’s desk to get Lila the tissue box.

Lila looked up at the swimmer.

“Thank you.”

She took a tissue to dab her eyes.

“The jerk then hacked into the school’s records, changing my grades, my attendence, he even messed with my medical records at the school! It was hell!”

“Lila…” Myléne moved to her side.

“So, when my Mom got the job to work at the French embassy here, I was so excited. I could finally get away from that cruel monster’s clutches… but so much for that! Now you all hate me and think I am this awful person!” Lila cried into her arms.

“We don’t think that!”

“Of course, we wouldn’t believe that!”

Lila hid her sinister grin as she heard the comments of her classmates. She had easily pulled the wool over their eyes. Much like before she had escaped the jaws of defeat with her deception.

Until the sound of her voice was coming from another source.

Lila looked up and felt the world shake as the horror she assumed she avoided was being undone by what she had gone so far to get rid of. The recording.

“Of course, it was all lies. Knowing Spielberg? Being friends with a prince? All of those outlandish lies and yet everyone ate it up so easily. I don’t know whether it’s something in la seine but everyone here is super gullible. Everyone in that class is stupid enough to believe anything! I didn’t even try to come up with clever lies. Have none of them even heard of Google? I was able to have them eating out of the palm of my hand like the sheep they are. So when I say I could ruin your life Marinette, I can ruin your life without even lifting a finger.”

Alya paused the recording.

“That… that isn’t me! That was clearly an edited audio file!”

But at this point, everyone in the class had stopped buying into Lila’s words.

“There’s an additional 44 minutes on here that say otherwise.” Alya’s statement was like a dagger in the leg. “

The class backed away from Lila, their expressions were all the same now. They were not happy with her. They were hurt.

“Lila… how could you?” Rose spoke softly, as if holding back tears.

Juleka hugged her close.

“We gave you our friendship?”

“You threatened our friend!” Kim shouted angrily.

“We trusted you!”

“Did you even care about us?”

A sea of comments from each student that was hurt by the revelation started to fill the room.

Adrien and Marinette’s expressions read more as surprise than anything else. The two had no idea Lila would be exposed like this. The class was hurt by Lila’s actions, and now she was paying the price.

Marinette moved to where alya was.

“So, this was why you were so busy.”

“Yea, and I see I wasn’t the only one whose been busy.”

Marinette had a soft smile with her friend’s comment.

“You’re the best. You know that, right?”

“No, If I was I would’ve had your back sooner. I’m sorry it took so long to come around.”

“You are still the best.”

Alya hugged the designer.

“I’m serious, after this. I want details on you and Mr. Model.”

“Deal.”

Lila did her best to try and contest the comments, trying to find some way to dispute them, but her words were falling on deaf ears. She could tell that no matter what she said, no matter what she did, it was over. She had lost.

Lila turned her attention to Marinette, her eyes seeing red.

“You, this was all your doing!”

Adrien went in front of Marinette, as if to protect her in case Lila tries to attack her.

“No Lila, you did this to yourself.” The words coming from the blond were colder then ice.

“Adrien, you don’t seriously believe all this…”

“I tried to be your friend, we all did. But you lied to our faces, you hurt our friends, you threatened Marinette. Those are things I can’t forgive.”

Lila glared at Marinette.

“Are you going to hide behind him! Have you nothing to say!?”

Marinette expected to have a whole speech ready the moment the truth was revealed, but she never expected everything to fall into place like this. Marinette felt pity for the exposed liar.

She walked past Adrien and looked into Lila’s eyes.

“I’m sorry that you didn’t think the real you was good enough for us to get to know.”

Lila acted as if she had been struck in the face. She lost the last of what remained of her tact. She was being pitied!

“You will pay for this! You don’t get to ruin my life without consequences!”

“Is it because you’re getting an akuma from your buddy, Hawkmoth?”

Everyone turned to the ladyblogger, who pointed to her phone.

“You might want to check the Ladyblog.”

Lila suddenly felt a pit of unfathomable despair hit her. What had that blogger done?

Lila forced herself to go to the ladyblog, and on the front page on the site.

Friend of Ladybug or Akuma Collaborator? The Truth on Lila Rossi

Right underneath was security footage of her grabbing an akuma for herself.

This was the absolute worst-case scenario.

Lila ran to the door. She needed to leave. She needed to escape. She needed some way to clean all of this up, but she was stopped. A clearly distraught teacher at the door. Tears rolling down her face and expression that no student has ever seen on the young teacher’s face. Sorrow.

“Lila, I need you to come to the Principal’s office.”

Everyone stood by and watched silently as Miss Bustier took the lying student away.

____________________________________________________________________

“Miss Bustier it isn’t what you think!”

The young teacher didn’t say a word as Lila tried to talk her way out. She was hurt by her students lies, the anguish she put her other students through, and never once looked into it. She felt like a failure of a teacher, she had defended her and this was what she came to find? It was unforgivable.”

She had brought the girl to Mr.Damocles’ office.

“Sit down Miss Rossi.” The owl-like man in the chair stated firmly.

Lila obeyed as Miss Bustier wiped her tears and looked at the Principal.

“Sir, I have some rather disturbing news I found out about Lila.”

“No need Caline. I had found the recording at the end of the documents.”

Lila couldn’t feel more mortified by this. This was some kind of twisted nightmare.

Lila of course wasn’t expecting the next person to walk through the door.

“Mamma?”

______________________________________________________________________________

A masked villain smiled as the window opened to let light into the empty room.

“This is it! This was the anguish I was waiting for! Lila Rossi, you will be my greatest akuma yet.”

He took a butterfly into his hand and turned into an akuma.

“Fly away my little akuma! And evilize her!”

The black buttefly left the lair and began to fly out and find the source of the negative energy.

“Mayura, it is your turn.”

The blue clad villainess step forward, plucking a feather from her fan and turning it a sinister blue.

She blows the feather away into the wind, following the butterfly.

“Fly away my beautiful amok, enhance and hone that despair into a mighty power.”

The two villains watch the sky light as they await to make contact.

“This is the moment we’ve been waiting for. This will be the end of Ladybug and Chat noir.”

Lila ran out of the school, it was bad enough that people found out the truth about her, But her momma?! She couldn’t watch her mother’s heart break as she learned the truth. She ran out of the office before they said anything to her.

‘I need to find a way out of this. Marinette and Alya ruined everything! Now I am the class outcast and what’s worse, my momma is going to find out everything! I need to stop this! I need to get everyone back under my control.

Lila made her way to an alley way and hid behind a dumpster. She wasn’t sure if she was being followed, but she could not risk it. Perhaps she could talk with Mr. Agreste, he could pull enough strings that could… no, he would likely dismiss her. Her usefulness was done. With everyone against her, there was no way she could do anything.

She sat and let her despair run over her. There was nothing she could do, she felt so powerless. Everything she had been building up to. Everything she had wanted was all in reach… and yet it was ripped away from her! She would do anything to have things back to how they were, back when she was in charge!

She heard something approaching. She looked up, clearly not ready to face her punishment. But what she didn’t expect to see was a butterfly coming her way.

The butterfly made its way to the silver charm bracelet on her wrist and a feather made its way into her earing. A butterfly outline appeared over her face.

“The despair of having everything you have built come crashing down.” A familiar deep voice spoke

“All of that effort dashed in one catastrophic moment.” A feminine voice continued the line, a new yet equally sinister tone.

“You were the queen of deception until they shattered your crown”

“The pain you have suffered by that horrible event.”

“What you wouldn’t give to fix everything and gain that power over others you once had.”

“Hawkmoth, so you show yourself. I was thinking you forgot all about me. And it seems you made a new friend.” Lila interrupted their eerie rhyme.

“Oh, as if I couldn’t forget about my most competent akuma.” Hawkmoth Praised.

“I am Mayura, partner of Hawkmoth, I have been watching you closely Miss Rossi.” Mayura introduced herself. “It appears you have yourself in a much more devastating predicament then before.”

“It’s all your akuma’s fault, it’s all Marinette’s fault… Its all of their faults!’

“It doesn’t matter whose fault it is. I am going to give you the power to get those classmates of yours back under your power, no, all of Paris under your control. You will topple Paris with an army of unquestionably loyal akuma.”

“And I will give you an ally that will obey any order from you without question.”

The Italian Exchange student loved the sound of that.

“Let me guess, all I need to do is to get Ladybug and Chat noir’s miraculous.”

“Good girl. Do we have a deal?”

“Crushing Ladybug will be therapeutic right about now. I’ll have that entire school under my foot, along with those miserable brats that ruined my life.”

“Very well! I grant you the power to reveal the akuma lying underneath each person with your masks! Show the world who you truly are, Masquerade.”

_____________________________________________________________________

(And that was Part 30! Thank you guys so much for reading up to this point. This was a long time coming. I hope it reached your expectations. Now remember to say what you think of the chapter, good, bad. I want to hear your thoughts. Is it worth seeing Part 31?

Now, I did mention that I will be announcing a new contest. Which After this reaches 1k notes I will be officially announcing.)

(If you want to support me directly, check out my ko-fi. Or if you want to support indirectly, take a look at the webcomic I am writing with @knightsweeties)

Special Honorary Tags: @martasaur @dootintootincowboy @inno-chan @tenten-hinamori @bevvydraws @worteltje7

#Soulmate survey #12k special #dun dun dun!#Lila karma #miraculous ladybug #ml #ml fanfic #miraculous fanficiton #OMG THIS TOOK FOREVER TO WRITE #OVER 9000 WORDS #soulmate searcher #lovesquare #adrinette #adrienette #marinette dupain cheng #adrien agreste #lila rossi #lila x karma

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purrincess-chat · 4 years ago

Text

Marinette Dupain-Cheng’s Spite Playlist: Remix CH10

And we’re back to our regularly scheduled mischief. Kind of. I’ve tweaked this part a little bit to suit what’s coming up in a few chapters. The middle of this story looks a lot different than before, and I’ve spent the most time on it (been stuck at the “halfway” point of this rewrite for 3 months, but we’re getting there) All of our characters are about to go on their own journeys. For better or worse ;)

Previous First Next AO3

------------------------

Chapter 10: Kids in the Dark

“Hey, Nino, got a second?” Adrien asked the following morning as their classmates shuffled into the courtyard.

Nino perked up, draping an arm over his shoulders. “Sure thing, dude. It’s been a while since we’ve had some guy time. I’ve just been super busy helping Alya with her deputy duties. I miss you, bro.”

“You mean Lila’s class representative duties?” Adrien corrected.

“Well…Lila’s busy doing more important stuff, so Alya has been picking up some of the slack, and I’ve been helping her out,” he said. “Besides, Marinette used to flake on some of her stuff too when she was busy.”

Adrien suppressed a sigh. Things were worse than he thought. He should have helped Chloe yesterday. Someone needed to put Lila in her place, but more than that, Marinette deserved justice. Every day Lila found new ways to turn everyone against her even in her absence, and Adrien wasn’t going to sit by anymore.

“Actually, I was hoping to talk to you about Lila,” Adrien said. His stomach tightened into a knot, but he wasn’t chickening out this time. “Don’t you think it’s a little unfair that Alya does all of Lila’s work for her? I mean, we elected Lila to lead the class, but it feels like she hasn’t really done anything herself. Even if Marinette had other stuff to do sometimes, she still did a majority of the work herself.”

“Well, Lila’s doing global stuff that’s way more important than our class. She leads by example,” Nino said.

“Well, if she’s too busy to be class rep, why would she run?” Adrien asked. His methods were a little around the bush, but hopefully he could convince Nino. They were best buds after all.

“Dude, do you want Chloe to be class rep again? You weren’t here when she was in charge, so you have no idea how bad it was. If Lila hadn’t stepped up, we’d have all been stuck with her. Sorry, but nuh-uh, no way am I going through that ever again.” Nino shook his head emphatically.

Given the choice, Adrien had picked Chloe, but now probably wasn’t the best time to admit that. He understood why no one else wanted Chloe in power, and in most cases, he could agree with them. But Lila wasn’t exactly the step up everyone thought she was either.

“Couldn’t someone else who has more time have run? I mean, most of us would prefer anyone over Chloe,” Adrien said pointedly.

“Bro, I get you and Chloe have known each other since you were kids, but I don’t think you fully understand how deep she’s sunk her claws into everyone here,” Nino said. “She digs dirt on people to keep them from defying her, and if that doesn’t work, she just gets her daddy to threaten the teachers. No one else here can overthrow her. Lila is the only one with an outside advantage because she knows celebrities and ambassadors and stuff. She’s got Chloe beat, and that’s why she’s everyone’s hero.”

It was hard to argue with him there. If Chloe were nicer, then this whole process would have been a lot easier. Anyone looked like a saint compared to her, and after yesterday… Lila could gain all the praise in the world because now she was just like them—another one of Chloe’s victims.

As much as he hated to admit it, there was no easy way out here. If he exposed Lila, then Chloe would claw her way back to the top and make everyone miserable again. If he didn’t expose Lila, then she’d just continue to use everyone and drag Marinette’s name through the mud. He’d tried to convince Chloe to be nice once before, but that didn’t last longer than a day. If he could just get Alya to see the light, she could take down both Lila and Chloe…

“I know you and Alya are busy, but is there any way we could all meet up for juice this afternoon? There’s something I want to talk to you both about.”

♪♫♪ Kill Em With Kindness ♪♫♪

“You said you wanted to talk?” Alya crossed her arms over her chest.

The bench along the Seine was abandoned this time of day, which was why Adrien liked it—he didn’t want anyone interrupting. Considering Alya parted ways with her best friend over Lila, she had clearly fallen deep into her web. This conversation required precision, and Adrien wasn’t taking any chances. He was going to speak his mind.

Nino took the seat beside him without a second thought, gesturing for Alya to do the same. She hesitated, searching Adrien’s expression with a skepticism that said she didn’t entirely trust him. This conversation wasn’t going to be pretty.

“Yeah. It’s about Lila…” He clasped his hands together to keep them from fidgeting. “There’s something you should know.”

“Let me guess. She’s a liar?” Alya cocked a brow. “I know you’ve been by to see Marinette several times. I find it funny how you’ve never mentioned this until now.”

“Look, I know I should have come forward sooner, but Lila is a liar. I can prove it,” Adrien said.

“Oh, can you?” Alya barely masked her cynicism.

“The day she came here, she tried to convince me that she was the descendent of a fox superheroine to impress me, but Ladybug showed up and called her out over your blog post,” Adrien explained. “She and Ladybug had never met before, and truthfully, I don’t think they really even like each other.”

“Can anyone else confirm your story?” Alya asked.

“Marinette can. She was there,” Adrien said.

“Oh, we know that Marinette follows you around.” Alya smirked. “But ya know what I think? I think Marinette is just trying to turn you against Lila because she tried to tell us a similar story before too, but she had no proof.”

“Why would Marinette do that?”

“Trust me, dude, there’s a reason she doesn’t want you hanging around Lila,” Nino said.

Alya elbowed him hard, and when Adrien seemed confused, she rolled her eyes. “Even if you are telling the truth, can you blame me for being a little suspicious? Lila has been here for months, and you’re calling her out on something that happened on her first day? And only after you’ve been hanging out with someone who tried to prove her guilty with the same story?”

“It does seem kinda suspicious.” Nino rubbed the back of his neck with a wince. “Sorry, bro.”

“But I’m telling the truth! That really happened.” When they weren’t convinced, he added, “Okay, fine. You’re right. I shouldn’t have waited so long. I just didn’t want to start trouble.”

“So why start it now?” Alya asked.

“Because people are getting hurt, and I’m tired of looking the other way,” Adrien said.

“What people?”

Adrien bit his tongue. Alya was too defensive. Even if he did point out how Lila was using everyone at school, she’d find a way to justify it just like Nino had earlier. This was Lila’s power—convincing everyone that they enjoyed being manipulated.

“I know it’s hard to believe, but I am telling the truth. Marinette isn’t the enemy here,” he said.

Alya took a step back and slung her bag over her shoulder. “I find it a little hard to trust you when you’ve been hanging out with her,” she said. “And after Chloe’s little stunt the other day… don’t tell me you three are working together.”

“No, we’re not.” Adrien held up defensive hands, and when Alya crossed her arms over her chest, he added, “If you don’t believe me that’s fine, but please, look into it. Don’t believe everything Lila tells you. Be a journalist. Investigate.”

Alya eyed him, lips pursed, then nodded. “Fine. I’ll look into your story, but if I don’t find anything, I want you and Marinette to apologize to Lila.”

“Fair enough,” Adrien said.

“Come on, Nino.”

As Alya stalked off, Nino searched Adrien’s expression. His eyes bore all of his confusion, torn between his girlfriend and his best friend. Much like everyone else, Nino wasn’t sure what to believe, but so long as there was doubt, Adrien couldn’t lose hope.

“Nino!”

“Catch you later, bro,” Nino said.

“Yeah. Later.”

♪♫♪ Walk Me Home ♪♫♪

“I’m so excited that you’re finally coming to my house! You have to sit in my massage chair.” Macy squealed as she and Marinette walked arm in arm.

Eliott trailed behind them, things in their group having gone back to normal after the previous day’s events. Marinette was wrong about him. He had Macy’s back even when she couldn’t see him, and they gave her hope that not all friendships were so fragile. When two people trusted each other, nothing could pull them apart.

“We should invite Martin too. I didn’t do well on our last chemistry exam.” Eliott ran a hand through his hair. “Besides, he seems happier when he’s with us, even if he is quiet.”

“He usually waits for his chauffeur out front. Let’s see if we can catch him.” Macy picked up the pace, but she froze the moment they reached the front entrance. “Oh no.”

“What’s the problem, Martin? You said you would do my homework for the entire year,” Gabrielle snarled. “Were you lying?”

Thomas held Martin by his shirt collar, but his eyes bore a fierce determination even if his hands were shaking.

“I-I don’t want to be your puppet anymore,” Martin said, face blanched and eyes wide.

“He’s standing up for himself,” Marinette gasped.

“Kind of. He’s about to get his butt kicked,” Eliott said, but Marinette was already marching down the steps. “And so are we.”

“Gabrielle,” Marinette called.

“Oh, look, little miss thinks-she’s-all-that is back to save her pet hamster.” Gabrielle stepped between Marinette and Thomas. “This doesn’t concern you, street rat, so why don’t you run along back to the sewers?”

“Not until you let my friend go,” Marinette said, undeterred despite how Gabrielle towered over her.

“And just what are you going to do to stop us? You’re as tiny as a mouse, and there’s no one around to save you now.” Gabrielle leaned into her face.

“She’s got us,” Eliott said. He crossed his arms over his chest, and Macy squared her shoulders beside him.

“Two more cowards? I’m shaking.” Gabrielle rolled her eyes. “You think you’re all high and mighty because you won a design contest and got some free tickets? Please, I could ruin your whole life with one phone call.”

“So, do it,” Marinette said. “You talk big, so let’s see you follow through. Make the call.”

“Uh, Marinette, is this such a good-” Eliott held out a hand, but Gabrielle’s glare silenced him.

“Don’t tempt me!”

“Are you going to ruin my life or not? Because if you’re not, then there’s nothing stopping me from helping Martin.” Marinette nodded to him, still dangling in Thomas’ grasp.

Gabrielle’s jaw clenched, but before she could reply, a familiar voice interrupted.

“Marinette?” Adrien stood timidly at the base of the stairs, his bodyguard holding open the car door.

Upon seeing him, Gabrielle faltered, jolting away from Marinette as if she’d been shocked. Macy clamped her hands over her mouth to muffle a squeal as several of their schoolmates stopped to stare in awe.

“Adrien? What are you doing here?” Marinette asked as he climbed the stairs to meet her.

“It’s Friday. You said you were going to visit your friend’s house, so I thought we could ride together.” He glanced around at the scene before him. “Is everything alright?”

Marinette turned to Gabrielle, whose eyes burned through her. Their classmates whispered to each other, all seeming to wonder if Gabrielle was going to show out in front of Adrien Agreste, but even she knew better than to tempt the most beloved boy in Paris. Attacking Adrien was effectively social suicide, and Gabrielle wasn’t going to lose her reputation now. She averted her gaze, red hair flipping over her shoulder as she spun around to face her boyfriend.

“Nothing. We were just leaving,” she grumbled, and her group disbanded.

Thomas set Martin down on his feet before following Gabrielle to their limo.

“Friends of yours?” Adrien cocked a brow.

“Not exactly.” She turned to Martin. “You okay?”

“Yeah…” Martin straightened his glasses. “You must think I’m weak.”

“Not at all. I thought it was very brave of you to stand up for yourself,” Marinette assured him.

“Sorry you had to save me again. I wish I had the strength to defend you too.” Martin curled his shoulders. “Thank you, Marinette. I promise I’ll try to be stronger next time.”

“You’re already strong where it counts.” She touched his chest. “In here.”

His cheeks flushed, and he glanced up at Adrien, eyes widening again. “You’re-”

“Adrien Agreste!” Macy latched onto his neck with a hysteric giggle.

“Macy, be cool, remember we talked about this?” Marinette coached.

“Let him breathe.” Eliott pried her arms off and extended a hand. “I’m Eliott, and this lunatic is-”

“Macy Chanteur!” She broke free of Eliott’s grasp and stuck out a hand for Adrien to kiss. “I have a poster of you on my wall.”

“Oh.” His eyebrows raised.

“She’ll calm down,” Eliott said. “I think.”

“It’s cool. I’m used to it,” Adrien chuckled. “But please don’t treat me like a celebrity. Any friends of Marinette’s are friends of mine.”

“Adrien just called me a friend!” Macy squeaked, and Eliott placed his hands on her shoulders to restrain her.

“My name’s Martin. Martin Michel.”

Adrien turned to the small boy and smiled. “Nice to meet all of you.”

“We were actually about to go to Macy’s to talk about my designs for you-know-who if you want to come, Martin.” Marinette offered.

“Uh, sure.” He nodded.

“I hope it’s alright that Marinette invited me, Macy,” Adrien said. “We only just met, and I’d hate to intrude.”

“You can come over whenever you want, Adrien.” She tried to boop his nose with her finger, but Eliott swatted her hand away.

“Great. We can take my car.” Adrien gestured to his bodyguard standing dutifully on the sidewalk.

“I’m going to ride in his limo!” Macy wheezed.

“Try not to hyperventilate.” Eliott guided her down the steps.

Adrien fell into step beside Marinette. “Your new school is huge,” he remarked.

“Yeah, if it wasn’t for Macy and Eliott, I would totally get lost,” she said.

“They seem nice.”

Marinette’s gaze softened on them as Eliott seated himself and Martin between Macy and Adrien. “They are.”

“So, what was all that on the stairs?” Adrien asked as Macy gave the driver her address.

“Gabrielle,” everyone collectively moaned.

“The Chloe Bourgeois of the school,” Marinette explained, and Adrien nodded in understanding. “She’s got more bite and brute strength, but ultimately, I sense that she has less power.”

“That was incredible how you called her bluff,” Macy said. She seemed to have regained some of her composure, though she still stole frequent glances at Adrien when she thought no one was looking.

“When you deal with the daughter of the mayor of Paris, you get used to empty threats and power pulls.” Marinette shrugged.

“I was sure we were going to get our butts kicked. It’s funny, I usually avoid trouble, but the past couple days have felt good,” Eliott said thoughtfully. “You’ve helped all of us become a little more confident, Marinette.”

“I just don’t like to see my friends get pushed around, that’s all.” Marinette insisted.

“Isn’t her modesty adorable?” Eliott said to Adrien.

“Marinette deserves every ounce of praise, I know it.” He agreed. “She’s amazing.”

Marinette’s cheeks burned. Adrien praised her a lot, but she was just as unprepared for it each time. Macy wasn’t the only one on the verge of passing out in the car. Was it possible to die of happiness?

“Speaking of amazing, we need all of the details about Clara.” Macy leaned across Eliott.

“Clara?” Martin cocked a brow.

“Nightingale. She’s asked Marinette to design for her!” Macy reminded him. “Oh, it was so tempting to throw that in Gabrielle’s face. I don’t know how you resisted the urge.”

“Well, I want to make sure she likes what I come up with first,” Marinette said. “No sense bragging if she hates everything and asks someone else.”

“How are your designs coming along?” Adrien asked.

“Well, I have a few ideas-”

“Show us!” Macy and Eliott demanded simultaneously.

“Nothing is final yet. I’ve just been playing around,” Marinette said as they pulled into the gates of a large house.

“You should sit in my meditation room. It’s totally tranquil, and it might help you get ideas. Can you imagine? Future-world-famous fashion designer sketching her breakthrough piece in my house!” Macy said as they climbed out, then casting a smile to Adrien added, “Do you think you could design my wedding dress someday?”

“Slow your roll, Macy. You just met,” Eliott chided, tugging her up the front steps ahead of the group.

“Your friends are lively,” Adrien said to Marinette. “I like them.”

“Well, Macy and Eliott have been friends for a long time,” Marinette explained.

“Since they were kids,” Martin added. “Their parents are old friends, and they’ve been in the same class every year.”

“That’s awesome. I hope you and I can be close like that someday.” Adrien smiled at Marinette.

If Adrien said any more nice things to her, she’d have enough butterflies in her stomach to give Scarlet Moth a comeback. Why did he have to be so sweet and handsome, perfect, smart, talent-

“Well…” Macy snapped Marinette out of her trance. She held her arms out and twirled around as her butlers opened the front doors. “Welcome to my home.”

#marinette dupain-cheng's spite playlist #marinette dupain-cheng's spite playlist remix #mdcspr #mdcsp #my writing

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