#sorry for making it angsty but! it had to be done c':

[spookymystery67]

I Wish I Could Walk in Heels

AN: Alright, finally got this one done! It's a longer chapter than what I've been putting out recently so I hope you all enjoy it. Take it as an apology to make up for my slacking. I had planned to get it done in October, but then I got really hyperfixated on the live action and anime One Piece (still am to be honest). About 109 episodes in on the anime and have A LOT more to go lol. Anyways, enjoy!

Ps, this chapter is a little angsty. Little bit. At least I think it is. Also has gun violence and typical RE stuff. I noticed I gave up on the TW so hope none of you got traumatized. I don't think I write anything too crazy. We should all know what we've signed up for by now, right?

Chapter 23:

“My, you are a popular one, Luis.”

Ada's comment rang very true. Your eyes struggled to see through the harsh rain from the storm that seemed to appear so suddenly. Even so, you could still see the torches and hear the angry chanting of the villagers surrounding the house you and Ada were supposed to meet Luis at. If you had to guess, nearly every infected citizen of Los Iluminados was in attendance of your little get together.

“I don't remember inviting them to the party.” You half-heartedly joked as you ran along Ada's side, falling slightly behind her once you reached a rickety old, wood and rope bridge that groaned and creaked too much for comfort. “You?”

Your love huffed a weak smile, but could not respond when a sudden and harsh shake of the ground shook the fragile bridge and sent you both scrambling for something stable to balance and hold on to, so as to not fall to your doom.

Another shake. 

You both glanced behind you.

Another. 

This time closer. Something big is coming.

Ada tightly grabbed hold of you for what seemed like the millionth time in one night, grappling you both to the closest and safest roof top and off the bridge. This, somehow, gathered the attention of some of the villagers.

You stared in disbelief at the snarling giant that walked into the, already chaotic, scene. 

“What in the actual fuck is that?” Even with all your prior experience with what should be impossible creatures, you are still somehow always shocked and horrified by something new. 

At least you were never bored.

The giant took notice of you and Ada, before charging in your direction. Ada took action and zipped the two of you off of the roof of the now destroyed house, landing you both safely on the ground. The giant yelled angrily at missing, and turned around to face you once more.

“You deal with the villagers while I handle this?” Ada muttered to you, grappling hook in hand and ready to swing on the houses to avoid the creature while simultaneously weakening it.

Noting your inability to deal with such a huge foe, you nodded in agreement. “Be safe.” 

She squeezed your hip in acknowledgment before fully pulling away. “You as well, dear.”

With that, she turned to face the giant head on. “Sorry big guy. Can't let you go that way.” 

And off she went to fight and distract the giant from getting to the house. While she did that, you ran to a safe distance away from the crushing footsteps and the crumbling houses, picking off the infected stragglers that roamed the area as swiftly and quietly as possible. 

You didn't want Ada to have more on her plate than she already has.

Quiet wasn't an issue. If anything managed to hear you over the chanting villagers, roaring giant, and the howling wind and rain, you'd be genuinely surprised. And maybe even a little impressed.

Eventually, the giant fell on top of the two remaining villagers you didn't get to, dead. All was silent at last, with the exception of the pouring rain that was turning into more of a light drizzle, showing some sign of slowing down for at least a little while.

You saw Ada from afar walking towards the giant corpse. A pang of worry went through you when you saw how angry she visibly was. This wasn't normal Ada behavior. She usually managed to keep her emotions in check during missions. 

The closer you walked, you noticed a wiggling creature on the giant's back, a parasite if you had to guess. It moved like it wanted to get away from its dead host. Away from Ada.

Ada stomped her heeled boot onto the creature to lessen its writhing. She took out her pistol and aimed it at the creature. “Now stay down.” 

One. Two. Three gunshots rang out into the stormy night air. The parasite went limp and Ada gave one final kick of annoyance to the felled creature, tucking her gun away before she faced you fully.

“You alright?” You asked her, doing your best to mask your concern so as to not anger her further. She was clearly in a sort of fragile state at the moment. And you knew the infection had part of, if not everything, to do with it. She took a deep breath before nodding a yes.

“I was getting a little annoyed, but now I'm good. Let's go.” She beckoned, leading you away from the giant. “Sweet dreams.” She snarked to the corpse as you left.

More than a little annoyed. That much was clear as day. Every plan and action took during this mission has led to one problem after another. And everything with Wesker and whatever the dangerous virus was coursing through her veins did not help. 

You weren't sure how much time she had left before the virus took full control of her. Ada appeared to become more and more anxious about it too, as time went on and it seemed no progress was really made in retrieving the Amber. 

Still, you kept quiet. You didn't want to further irritate her. And if she didn't want to talk, then you weren't going to force her. 

Your thoughts were put on hold when you saw Luis safely strolling down the path just below the rock formation you and Ada were waiting on. He noticed you both and with a look of relief he sped walked toward you.

“Luis! Glad to see you made it out of that mess safe.” You called out with a grin. He smiled back at your genuine enthusiasm.

“Oh, that? That was nothing, Sénorita.” He gestured behind himself with a careless wave, as if he didn't just get away from a swarm of probably one hundred infected people looking for blood. As if he's dealt with bigger, worse things at some point and this was just a walk in the park. He smirked at your look of disbelief. “Got a smoke?” 

“I do. The kind you like.” Ada remarked, though she made no move to hand over the pack of cigarettes he earlier abandoned with radio numbers written down to get into contact again. 

“Now, where is the Amber?” Ada questioned, done with the pleasantries and wanting to finish the business at hand.

“Unfortunately, it's not on me at the moment.” He sighed as he walked forward and began to attempt a climb up the rocks to get to you both, grunting with the effort. “And you really should be telling me what-” He paused, huffing from the exertion, before continuing.

“What a good job I did. Busted my ass and managed to hide it right before I got caught. Which,” He stumbled during the climb, but saved himself from slipping. “Is why I'm still alive!”

His triumphant tone made the corners of your mouth tug upward in amusement, but it quickly turned into a frown once you glanced to your left and saw how his words affected the already on edge Ada. Hopefully she won't do anything extreme.

He had nearly made the climb, but still reached his hand out for additional assistance from one of you. You went to help, but Ada stopped you with a gentle hand on your arm before crouching down with a sigh to be more leveled with Luis.

“The deal was we get you out of here when you deliver the Amber. No Amber, no 'protection’, Luis.” She reminded him. There was no room for nonsense in her entire demeanor. No more time to waste. 

He gave a forced and slightly annoyed laugh. Likely in irritation from the long day he's had and Ada showing no appreciation for the fact that he was trying. Though in her mind, he wasn't trying hard enough. He was just wasting both of your precious time.

“Such a stickler for details, huh Ada?” Her deadpan expression didn't waver. He glanced at you with a look you couldn't quite decipher, and you shrugged unhelpfully. He let out another sigh before grumbling. “Alright. I'll go get it now, how about that?”

He reached out a hand for help once more, waiting a long moment. You nudged her and Ada finally gave in and helped him up the small, yet hard to climb, cliff.

Once he was up, he patted himself clear of dirt and looked back to the house the villagers bombarded with a tired sigh. “And I do have something else I need to get too.”

Your girlfriend and you shared a look. You gave a huff and shook your head muttering, “This ought to be good.”

—

The castle. Luis had led you both back to the castle. The place where your mission had officially started and where everything had gone to shit pretty much instantaneously. You'd hoped once you left it the first time that you wouldn't have to be back. 

And yet, here you are.

Luis had climbed halfway up the side of the castle he had led you all to enter from before Ada had decided to just grapple you both up the tower, not even bothering to attempt the climb or help the struggling Luis up the rest of the way. He huffed and finished the challenging climb by himself, muttering to himself all the while.

You and Ada remained silent as you waited for him. Ada, not only because she was pissed, but also because she was stuck in her own head, running through the statistics of how many more distractions and side quests she had in her before the virus took over and she lost total control of herself. You just let her be, not having much to say that would soothe her concerns due to you feeling the exact same way. 

You wish you could continue to tell her it would be alright, but the longer this mission takes, the more you see her condition beginning to take its toll. Not just in her behavior. Now it is visible in her physical appearance as well. 

Her eyes had changed. The infection took form in black, vein-like, lines within her eyes. You had noticed prior to finding Luis, when Ada had been manipulated by the bug creature, that similar veins had covered her face while she clutched her head in pain. A clear sign of the virus and its power over her. So to see it remain permanently in her eyes with the monster not in sight… 

It was clear that time was running out.

“You probably didn't plan on coming back here, eh?” Luis questioned as he finally crawled through the hole in the wall you've entered from. 

“I had hoped not.” You admitted. You noticed Ada's calculated silence became more of a simmering, angry, silence. She was not happy with the man. Not one bit.

“Well, plans do change, no?” Luis said, trying to catch his breath from the climb. 

Ada's silence gave him pause. Noting her mood, he turned to you hesitantly before voicing a question you all already knew the answer to. “Are you angry?” 

Her silence spoke volumes, causing you both to grimace. “You're angry.” He concluded. He paused again, debating his next words. You shook your head, knowing by his hesitance that what he has to say won't be good.

He ignored your silent advice, quickly spilling out his next sentence. “There is this one thing I must do before I can recover the Amber.” 

You winced, glancing at Ada who went from a silent simmer to boiling over in about three seconds flat. This won't be good.

Ada was giving Luis a look that could kill, and in return he held his hands up in a placant gesture. 

“Before?” She questioned, voice deceptively calm. And before you could stop her, she had her pistol drawn and pointed right at the man's head. 

“Ada!” Your startled call went ignored by her.  

Heels clicked angrily against the hard floor as she took threatening steps toward Luis, who had raised his hands even higher in an attempt to convince her not to shoot. “This is not a negotiation, Luis. So choose your next words carefully.”

“Oh, woah…” Luis fumbled, taking a shaky breath before taking a slow step to the side. Then another. And another. Ada's gun remained pointed at his head as she turned with him, finger on the trigger and ready to shoot if he gave her an answer she didn't like. 

“Ada-” 

“Stay out of this, Y/n.” Ada told you. Her cold tone gave you pause. While you know it wasn't you she was angry at, you still didn't want to test her when she's like this. 

Especially not with Luis's life on the line.

“It's fine, Sénorita.” Luis said, before giving his full attention to Ada. You listened and backed off. “Listen, there is someone who needs my help… You know me – always the good Samaritan!”

“Let me guess. Leon?” Ada smirked slightly as Luis looked surprised that she knew about Leon. Though her grip on the gun didn't falter.

“Yes! Exactly! Leon and that young woman…” Luis began to slowly back away. Young women? The president's daughter? “They are both infected. They need this medicine. It slows the infection. And I know it works. I used it on myself. So I-”

“And why does this matter to me?” Ada interrupted, quickly closing the distance Luis had managed to make between the two of them. You could think of a few reasons why it matters.

Luis paused, and as if hearing your own thoughts, stated matter of factly, “Because you too are infected.” 

Ada and you shared a look. You were surprised he noticed, given how most of this mission has been spent away from Luis with you and Ada chasing after him.

Luis shook his head, exasperated. “It's what I researched for all these years. And I see the symptoms already showing in your eyes, Ada.”

For the first time since Ada drew the gun, Luis turned his back on her and walked further away with a little more confidence. Even when he was at risk of being shot in the back.

“You must already feel the effects, eh?” He slowly crouched over a trap door, still somewhat mindful of the woman holding the gun on him. “The medicine will stop them for a time. Just, trust me. You have a lot to gain, and nothing to lose!”

Ada seemed to agree with that statement. “Okay. But this is your last chance. We do this first, and then the Amber.” She placed her gun back into the holster with a final stern look, before turning to search around the room for anything useful to be brought with her.

“I'll let Leon know!” Luis exclaimed, happy he convinced her to help. 

You were relieved. And so, so glad Ada agreed. This might be her only chance. Granted, it's not a cure. But it would give you both more time to find the Amber and find an actual cure.

You stood awkwardly in your current place as Luis reached for his radio and made a call. “Hola. Luis here. You guys still around?” He questioned.

A very familiar voice snarked through the speaker of the radio. “Well I wanted to go home, but Ashley just had to see this castle first.”

Ashley. The president's daughter.

Luis grinned. “Perfect, because I have a present I want to give you. Medicine that will help to suppress the progress of your… problem.” 

“Where do we go?” Leon asked.

“Let's see… Come to the courtyard inside the castle. We can meet up there.” Luis decided. “¡Ciao!” 

With that, he hung up the call and turned to speak to the two women patiently and impatiently waiting for him. 

He stood up and set to opening the trap door leading out of the room. “Sorry to keep you both waiting. Shall we?” 

You glanced back at Ada and saw she was ready to go. You nodded as Luis opened the hatch on the floor. “We shall.”

He grinned as he led you both out of the room and down a stairwell. “There's a hidden laboratory downstairs. My stuff should be there.” He explained, jumping down the remaining gap in the stairs to the floor. Likely destroyed due to lack of maintenance in this area of the castle. You jumped down right after him with Ada right behind you.

“Along with the suppressant?” Ada questioned.

“Right,” Luis nodded. “Though first we have to get past this locked gate.” He said, gesturing to the barred area that was preventing you all from going further.

“Leave it to me.” Ada abruptly ran off before you could offer assistance. You shrugged it off, not much you could do given this requires the grappling hook. Which you have yet to get the hang of using and probably never will.

As you and Luis waited, he decided to start up a conversation with you. “So…”

You raised a brow at his hesitance. As if he is trying to figure out if what he is about to say is crossing a boundary. “So?”

He paused, muttering a quick “fuck it”, then proceeded to ask his intended question. 

“Trouble in paradise?” He asked, noting the growing tension between the two of you that you had since excused and ignored.

Not expecting that question, you stuttered and spat out an, “Excuse me?” Wincing slightly at how it came out a little harsh. Not intending to hurt the man in front of you, just taken off guard by the personal question.

Luis scoffed. “Oh please! You two went from the ultimate dream team to practically walking on eggshells around each other.” 

“We still work well together.” You answered, slightly confused by where he was going with this.

“Yes you do, Sénorita.” Luis amended before continuing, “Though I can't help but notice the growing tension between you. What happened?”

You were curious, “Why do you want to know?” 

“Well…” Luis shrugged nonchalantly, leaning against the wall behind him with a grin. “I like to think that, despite our short time knowing each other, we are friends. You did save my life after all. And I think I'm allowed to be a little concerned about my friend.”

Your growing defensive demeanor softened slightly, sensing no lie coming from the man in front of you.

“Does that mean Ada is your friend too?” You wondered. He exaggeratedly pondered for a moment.

“Eh, I'm still not so sure about that one. A little testy, no?” He jested, grin widening when the joke resulted in a laugh from you. “But in all seriousness, is everything alright between you too. What with the, uh, virus.” 

Your smile dropped with a sigh. “I'm just worried about her. She hasn't been fully herself. Not the usual Ada I've come to know and love. I just don't know what to do. I- I don't want to make it worse.” You quietly admitted.

“Has she tried to hurt you?” He asked with concern.

“No. But I can see that she grows increasingly more worried that it will happen at some point. She's been slowly distancing herself from me. Not in the physical sense, but mentally. Like she's preparing for the worst case scenario.” 

Luis hummed, “I see. Well don't worry too much, Sénorita. We will get her the help she needs before the worst can happen. Okay?” 

He grinned with a comforting pat to your shoulder. You weakly returned it. Grateful for his considerate words, but also not entirely convinced it would be so easy.

After all, nothing on this entire mission has been easy yet.

[dreamedfyre-a]

❝ My brother has many flaws, ❞ A gentler start to her disagreement, despite the ease with which Helaena would have affirmed he would never. Her belief in him has not waivered; whether or not that is clear judgment remains to be seen. Aemond had been her protector, or something so akin to it as to make no difference; he had failed her but once ( terribly, horribly, the night he hadn't been there to slay the assassins who sought his head, who had taken her son's instead ). Wild, unforgiving, dangerous — all that and more he had been called, not without reason. But to her he had been safety; Helaena does not wish to believe he would turn cruelty upon them. ❝ Yet I do not think he lacks loyalty to his family. Aemond wouldn't do that to you, however displeased with the situation he may be. ❞

The fear it would prove otherwise doesn't have the time to settle. Helaena may be plagued by the thought later, wonder just how had Aemond made mother so certain he would have her atone for her sins on the streets. Perhaps she will even consider confronting him directly; but for now, the matter is all but forgotten, mouth agape and eyes widened at the reveal of who the small council meant for mother to marry.

❝ Greyjoy? ❞ Indignation is colored by a thousand reasons to oppose it; reasons she holds her tongue before saying, every disagreement bitten back. The Iron Isles are too far, the Greyjoys don't keep to the Faith but rather to their Drowned God, they are allowed to take concubines, and isn't Dalton Greyjoy close to her age? Mother knows; she needs not to hear every reason why it would be a terrible match. Instead, Helaena offers, ❝ What of the Redwynes? Theirs is one of the most powerful fleets in the realm. ❞ And the Arbor is far from here but close to Oldtown. Not some island renowned for being harsh, and, more importantly, where her mother's faith may be as disdained as her ways and beliefs.

Silence overtakes, then, as mother struggles with her condition ( well attended, nonetheless; she needs not to call for the maid for her to be there, ready to help ). She thinks of Aemond, of punishment and cruel fates; shouldn't queens be more than mere bargaining chips?

A lesson already taught; a wife is not a son, a queen never as valuable as an heir. Women could be replaced; why not sold for political advantage, as well? Their lives are worth less; doesn't matter if the price is meant to be paid in blood or with their own bodies.

Violet eyes blink, attention returning to the Dowager Queen. Helaena smiles; not a happy smile, no — one filled with melancholy. ❝ I do not doubt your love. But is there wanting when one does not have a choice? ❞

I did not want any of my children. Heartless words from a heartless mother, but she bites it back. If indeed there had been any good in her heart, it had been carved from her chest the night they took Jaehaerys' head — the night she made a choice. Helaena loves them. Any price would have been paid for their safety, but she had not wanted them.

A fault her own, perhaps.

She can almost envy the freedom describe, and thinks mother does too. No weight of family name, no burden of the crown. No forced marriages, no children born from duty, no expectations to uphold. They will have a mother who loves them, who wants them, a father whose absence will never be lack of desire to be present.

This is what people should dream of, instead of wishing to be princesses and queens. Queens had to hold their son's lifeless body and pay for another's sins.

The light huff that meets mother's mention of her disappointment at Daeron's birth could almost be mirthful. She can't quite recall if any intended gifts had been taken back, but she does know she hadn't wanted another brother. Helaena misses him. Would that he was here.

( What a gift for treasuring that she did not initially want, brothers and sons alike. )

Even that softness fades at her mother's request, blood turning to ice inside her veins and making her go stiff. No. Head shakes with the word she won't yet say, denial fierce even before the former queen may finish her request. Dutifully had she fulfilled everything that was asked, everything, and once she would have taken to this, too, for duty and even more so for love — the love she bears for her lady mother, the love she bears for the father whose blood she does not carry, the love she will bear for the child born of their love.

But it isn't about love or duty. It's about the poison; hers, or that in their Targaryen blood, she cannot tell. Cursed, all of them, though her crime is greater. Even harsh Visenya had loved and protected her child, a man known for his cruelty; she cannot be trusted with caring for a child.

Had mother not seen how horribly she failed her own?

Nails dig upon her flesh, with the intensity of one who wishes to carve a path to the bone. She thinks of Jaehaerys, his mutilated body in her arms, his blood on her hands, and tears glisten in her eyes; she thinks of Maelor, little more than a babe, and the sword she had pointed at his neck, and Helaena feels sick. How could she care for any child after that?

❝ No, ❞ Refusal spoken at last, choked out, but firm. She shakes her head again, nails pressed deeper against the skin of her arms. ❝ No. I can't — you know that. ❞ Anyone else, anyone but me. If Ser Criston cannot, then uncle Gwayne, Daeron, Aemond, Aegon even; they are all better options. None of them would choose one of their children to die. A son for a son. Rhaenyra's son had been taken, but no one had made her choose which son to kill. Maybe she wouldn't have chosen, either. Maybe that rot belonged to Helaena alone.

❝ I can't. You can't trust me with that. Not me, least of all me. No. ❞

A soft, almost wistful sigh slips from her lips and Alicent gives her daughter a gentle smile. Though Helaena was oft thought to be the most gentle soul, the most innocent, the most KIND--her mother knew, better than anyone, that there was a FIRE in her daughter's blood. Something that no amount of Hightower blood could douse. And she wouldn't change it for the world.

"...Aegon may not, but Aemond would. I know that as soon as those VIPERS have convened in my absence--likely now, they will scramble to give your brother the regency. And he would order it to send a message to the others," she murmured, her free hand reaching up to clasp the pendant at her throat.

The seven-pointed star. The beacon of the faith she was in flagrant disregard of. Her nausea now mixes with zealous guilt. She would fast for a day in repentance.

"Lord Jasper proposed my hand to Lord Dalton Greyjoy to stymie the support of the Iron Islands. Ser Criston and I had been equally disgusted by the offer, but I suppose now I will be given no choice," Alicent explained quietly, her brows knitting together. She had hoped now that Viserys was dead that there would be little chance of being married off for political gain.

Unfortunately, she's now proven her continued fertility--it made for a powerful bargaining chip.

She leaned forward a little as a grasping sickness roiled in her belly, threatening to vomit. A maid scurried over with a pot and Alicent contemplated for a moment before the nausea passed and she waved the lady away, a hushed 'thanks' following behind her.

Helaena's observation wasn't made with accusation or malice, but the weight of it still hurt her mother. Alicent tilted her head to the side, leaning back against her chair as she pulls her blanket higher on her body. "I wanted you and your siblings, my dear girl--but it is...different this time," she admits, giving her daughter a final squeeze of her hand before it settles in her lap, palm resting over her womb.

"Before," she murmured, the ghosts of her past flickering on bloodless lips. "I had no choice. My duty was to provide HEIRS to the Targaryen dynasty...although it pleased your father to neglect his duties to my children. I had no joy in the act, no pleasure, no desire..."

Again, she feels almost guilty for disparaging her late husband. Especially now when she did crave his lucid wisdom as the war waged on.

"But I had you all. I felt you all stir and kick and MOVE and knew in my heart that you were mine--at least for the time."

Alicent bows her head and sighs, chewing on her lower lip. "This child is heir to NOTHING but the sins of its mother and father. And though this should fill me with dread, I...this child will be mine. Heart and soul. I do not have to share them with the crown, with the people. I do not have to share them with my father. They will be mine," she whispered, turning her head to gaze at her second-born.

Her lips turn up softly and she crinkles her nose a little, settling back in her seat. "You were incredibly disappointed that Daeron was a boy. I think you took the stone dragonfly that you had brought for him back," she recollects with a nostalgic smile. Alicent chuckles a little and sighs. "If anything happens to me, Helaena--I will entrust this babe to you. You are the only one I can trust to care for them. Ser Criston, though his heart may yearn to claim them--cannot. I trust you, my darling girl. You alone."

[seresinhangmanjake]

Different is Better

Tyler Owens x Reader

Summary: Javi invites your ex back with Storm Par amidst the flirtation between you and Tyler. 

Notes/Warnings: This was a combination of requests, so it's not exactly what everyone asked for, but I got it as close as I could, sp hopefully it satisfies in some ways. Allusion to smut. Cursing probably. Scott sucks (sorry to the Scott lovers), Javi sucks a little too (sorry to the Javi lovers).

Words: 2850

Tyler Owens Masterlist / Main Masterlist / Tag list

The second the Storm Par team finishes settling on the schedule for tomorrow, you remove yourself from the rest of the chasers in the parking lot, Wranglers included, and press your back into the outer wall of the motel. Perfectly out of sight and free to feel how you want without judgment.

You can’t breathe around him. You can’t think properly. And damn him for fucking loving it. Damn the smirk that slices into your skin. Damn fucking Javi for requesting his participation on the team after swearing up and down that he wouldn’t. Damn him for not warning you, forcing you to spend the last half-hour since his arrival in wild discomfort.

It had been so good without him. The best chasing you’d done in years. Relaxing, free from tension despite the chaos of rolling into the heart of unpredictable weather. In his absence, you chased with excitement; you chased with that tingly zingy feeling in your gut; you chased with a pounding heart, with hands shaky not from nerves but from raw, untainted energy shooting throughout your entire body. 

The last two months of chasing renewed your love of the craft and proved more than anything that Scott has been—and still is—a soul-sucking, life-draining leech….to you, anyway. 

But everyone already loves him, just short of instantly obsessed with him, especially the females of the group who neglect that ‘award-winning’ personality he’s managed to display in only thirty-two minutes. Shamefully, it almost makes you wish the team Javi assembled had fewer young college girls and a heck of a lot more mature, determined women. They would easily see past his looks and recognize that his intelligence does not surpass that of anyone else on the team. He is not some rare, fascinating, genius savior who has come to solve all of the data-collecting problems the team’s been having; he’s just an extra helping hand that, frankly, you firmly believe you don’t need. 

But no…as has been the case each time you’ve worked together since you ended your little college fling—or whatever the fuck it was—he gets to be Mr. Perfect, and you’re stuck as the angsty bitch who whines over him being here. 

“So…that’s the guy, huh?” Tyler asks as he rounds the corner and joins you under the cover of near-darkness. 

He practically shines under the damaged streetlamp’s thin, flickering light. You’re not looking at him, but you don’t have to be to see that much clearly. He glows in your peripherals, and with another step closer to you, your heartbeat stumbles within your ribcage. 

Tyler is the one thing you credit for reviving you. What started as a less-than-friendly rivalry changed when you accepted a challenge to chase with his crew one day, and though Javi was displeased, you were too curious about Tyler’s methods to turn him down. 

With one ride in his truck, the spark you thought had long died reignited. Now you have a respect for Tyler that the rest of your team does not. Respect…and a bit more. 

Though you would never abandon your team, you became increasingly hooked on the idea of chasing with Tyler again, and it was so stupidly obvious. And with that obviousness, an unspoken essence of sorts developed between you. A forbidden attraction you’re both aware of but have yet to fully act on, though not for lack of trying.

You take turns almost breaking that final barrier—heavy breathing, noses nearly brushing, lips a hairs-width away from connecting, but something always gets in the way: his team, yours, the weather. But not this time. Cock-block of the day? Scott Miller. 

Tyler’s eyes stay on your cheek as he stuffs his hands into his front jean’s pockets. “I didn’t know that was your type.”

When you look at Tyler, your brows knit at the disappointment on his face. He offers a smile, but it’s far less convincing than what he is capable of, like he didn’t even bother trying to give you one of his good ones. And you’ve seen a good smile from Tyler Owens. It can knock anyone off their feet. 

“It isn’t,” you tell him as you turn your attention back to the miles of grass in front of you. At night, under such little light, the eye gets tricked and the blades blend into a vast span of blackness, like a giant hole in the ground just a few feet away. One you might consider jumping into it if you could. 

“I mean, it was,” you continue, “but not anymore.”

He nods. “You have to work close with him?” he asks, though he already knows the answer.

“Unfortunately.”

Tyler blows out a breath. His hand runs through his hair before his head falls back against the brick wall of the motel, eyes closed and chin tilted toward the night sky. 

“Fuck,” he mutters. 

“Yea.”

Cicadas fill the following silence. Lightning bugs sprinkle throughout the space around you, thriving in the intense humidity that adds a thin sheen to your skin. You can see him thinking. Questioning. His fingers tap against his clothed thigh and your stomach clenches with dread. The last thing you want—the thing that would crush you—is Tyler sizing up whether or not you are worth the trouble of an ex even cockier than he is and more arrogant than you once believed him to be. One thing Tyler and Scott have in common: the adoring attention from young women. You’ve heard the stories from Lilly and Boone, and at any point, Tyler could tip his hat in adieu and return to his many fans to seek the encounters you’ve been hoping to share with him.  

Tyler turns his head to you. “You still like him? At all?”

“No,” you answer, trying not to be offended by the question he has a right to ask. To you, it’s absurd, insulting. To him, it’s covering his bases and understanding what, if anything, he is getting in between by pursuing you, or considering pursuing you. “The way he approaches relationships mimics the way he approaches chasing,” you continue. “Controlling, nit-picky, demanding. I couldn't stand it.” He’s nothing like you, you want to say, but for some reason, don’t.

Your heart’s discomfort eases with the slow spread of a smile across his face. You step toward him. “Look, Tyler, I know we haven’t really talked about us, but I–”

“There you are. I was starting to think I ran you off.”

The intruding voice snatches your attention and Tyler immediately pushes off the wall, positioning himself closer to your side. “I'm not sure you're threatening enough for that,” he says. 

Scott smirks, one eyebrow arching. “And you are?”

“Tyler,” he says, reaching out his hand in a play-nice gesture. “Owens.”

Realization dawns on Scott. “Oh, of course,” he replies, a mocking grin forming as he accepts the handshake. When he takes his hand back, he crosses his arms and cocks his head to the side. “Your reputation precedes you. How many followers have you managed to stack up by playing around for entertainment?”

“Subscribers,” Tyler corrects. “A mil.”

“Must be validating after failing to make it professionally.”

Your gut twists, fists almost clenching, but you restrain yourself from showing his effect on you. “That’s not why he does what he does,” you scold your ex sternly. Tyler’s head whips to you. You can just barely detect the gentle smile on his face. 

Scott hums, nonchalantly advancing closer to hover over you. His eyes penetrate like lasers into yours. “You know, you should really think before you fraternize. You wouldn’t want to make us look bad,” he says, running a knuckle down your cheek. You flinch away from his touch and he grins. “That’s all,” he says. “Good night, you two” And then he turns on his heel and returns from where he came. 

“Charming,” Tyler sarcastically snips. “I see the appeal.”

—

He fucking left you behind. 

You were trying to finish up his job after he failed to properly secure Javi’s tech, but as you were doing so, the tornado’s size grew and its speed picked up and it was headed right for you. Scott screamed at you, panicked in a way you’ve never heard before, but when you weren’t quick enough for his liking, he slammed your door and drove off, leaving you to looming disaster. 

If not for Tyler, you’d be dead. He spotted you in his crew’s attempt to flee, and though it was an insane risk, he came for you, leaping out of his truck and grabbing you as he yelled for Boone to take the wheel. 

He practically threw you into the back seat before crawling in after you and wrapping your shivering body in his arms.

“Tyler, man, I don’t know if we’re gonna be able to outrun it!” Boone called back, eyes darting between the blurry road in front of him and the rearview mirror. 

“Then drill us into the fucking ground!”

And that’s where you stayed, huddled together, your face in his neck as the storm tried to tear you apart. 

—

Are you out of your fucking mind!” Tyler shouts, stomping through the parking lot of the motel refuge. 

To your relief, the small, aged structure was out of the tornado's path, if just barely, and in the aftermath, the owner offered free rooms to those in need. Except for Boone, who holds you steady as Tyler storms off, the Wranglers pass out whatever shirts and food they have available, providing what comfort they can.

Javi inserts himself between Tyler and Scott, his hands up to keep Tyler back. “Woah, woah, calm down.”

“He could’ve fucking killed her!”

Javi’s concerned brow settles from shock. “W-What?” he asks. “What are you talking about?”

Tyler’s as vicious as a lion, his teeth bared, claws out as he tries to side-step Javi to get to Scott, who has backed up a step. “He left her out there!”

You can see the Adam’s apple bob in your ex’s throat. His composure is on edge. He’s never been called out before, not even by you. “She was being stupid.”

“She was doing your job!”

Scott scoffs as Javi blinks, trying to adjust to the rapid-fire information being thrown at him. He’s never been good at an onslaught of facts, needing that adjustment period for things to properly sink in. He’s careful that way. It’s his methodical mind. He takes his time with his planning, and that extends past his inventions. “Look, everyone’s safe. Everyone’s tired. Let’s just get some rest and we can deal with this tomorrow.”

“You’re letting him stay? After what he did?”

“Right now, no one has anywhere to go,” Javi explains, and though true, it doesn’t mean Scott has to remain here now that the threat is gone. Javi’s eyes dart past Tyler’s shoulder to your shaken form. He sighs an exhale that deflates his entire chest, his eyes close, and he shakes his head. He brought this on. He knows it. Scott was a mistake, and while it wasn’t Javi who put you in danger, you don’t mind him absorbing some of the guilt of what happened. “Just…take care of her.”

Tyler huffs and says, “That’s more than you people do,” before turning around and coming for you. Boone passes you off with a nod. Tyler’s arm goes around your body, his hand rubbing up and down your bicep. You wonder where he stored the rage so quickly, but you appreciate that he didn’t set any of it aside for you. After all, you’re the reason he almost died. You’re the reason his friend almost died. Just because it was not a potential consequence of your choices, the stress of near death can keep anyone on edge. But not Tyler, apparently. He has other priorities.

“Come on,” Tyler says. “Let’s get you cleaned up.” And he guides you to your room, the very same one you’ve been tempted to invite him to since your first chase together. You didn’t imagine this was how he would come to join you.

—

Tyler’s jaw slackens when you exit the bathroom in a small towel that barely covers your body, and he quickly rises from where he is sitting at the end of your mattress, wiping his palms on his jeans as if to remove the moisture collected there. His eyes go wide, but they can’t seem to meet yours, his green orbs trailing up and down your body. 

“They’re a bit short,” you tell him.

“Yea, I, uh,” His hand runs over his hair down to his neck. “I know,” he says, instantly conjuring the image of a bare Tyler, water droplets covering his skin, a measly towel wrapped around his waist held together by one hand; a hand that, if removed, would cause the towel to drop to the ratty carpeting. “Do you, um…you need anything? I can try to get you–”

“No,” you stop him. “I’m alright.” A beat passes, and then he nods and blows out a breath. “Thank you, for saving me. You didn’t have to risk yourself like that.”

His eyes find yours then. “You can’t possibly think that I wouldn’t.”

“I know you’re kinder than most. Braver than most. But you’re not stupid, and saving me was a bit–”

“Don’t say that. I’d do it again,” he says. When he steps toward you, the towel suddenly feels much smaller. You feel exposed under his gaze, but to your surprise, not embarrassed. Scott had a way of making you feel less than in what seemed like a thousand different ways, but not Tyler. His eyes marvel. “And again.”

You take a deep breath, releasing it slowly out your nose. 

“Are you still shaken up?” Tyler asks you. 

You shake your head. “Not really.”

He stops directly in front of you. “Can I finally kiss you then?”

Your lips part. The towel falls, not necessarily with intention, but you can’t hold the thing up and wrap your arms around his neck at the same time. And, right now, one is more important than the other. 

Tyler tastes like the cola from your fridge that he must’ve had while he waited for you in the shower. His teeth nibble at your bottom lip, and you open for him. His hands settle on your bare waist for what seems like all of two seconds before they’re sliding lower, squeezing flesh, and pulling you in closer. Your fingers pick at the buttons of his shirt, the first few coming free. 

“You sure about this?” is muffled out between kisses.

You pull apart just long enough to say yes before you’re kissing him again, helping him out of his clothes, and falling into bed together. 

—

A knock wakes you. You turn over under Tyler’s arm and, careful not to wake him, rise from the bed. You grab his shirt off the nearby chair and pull it over your head, then slip on some sleep shorts before heading for the door. 

Javi smiles when he sees you, a sense of relief allowing the muscles to release their tension in his body. “Hey,” he says before his eyes fall down to your—Tyler’s—shirt. He raises a brow. 

You shrug. “I like him.”

Javi clicks his tongue. A modest sign of disapproval. “Right, well…I just came by to apologize and let you know that I kicked Scott off the team. He left about an hour ago.”

You hum in acknowledgment. At least you’ll avoid the drama of your ex figuring out you ‘fraternized’ with the leader of the other team. Being storm chasers, dramatics runs through your blood, and it’s not as if Tyler would shy away from any remarks Scott may throw at him or you, but this just happens to be one issue you’d rather not waste the energy on. It’s not his business, anyway.

“Thanks, Javi.”

“I really am sorry,” he says. “I never would’ve imagined he’d–”

“I know. Me either.”

Javi sighs in the silence that follows, then he says, “You sure about Owens?”

You nod. “I’m sure about Owens.”

“I guess we can’t be on opposite sides then, can we?”

“That would be nice,” you say. Javi gives you another smile. “They’re not so bad. I mean, I know they do stuff…differently, but they don’t leave anyone behind.” When a twinge of guilt flashes across his face, you say, “It wasn’t your fault.”

You can’t tell if he believes that’s how you truly feel, but as you nod in reassurance of that statement, he nods with you. 

“Ok,” he says. 

“Ok,” you repeat, and then with one final grin, Javi disappears down the hall. 

You close the door and strip yourself of the clothes you’d thrown on to get back into bed. Tyler’s still asleep. His breathing is soft, even, comforting, and luckily, your spot beside him has maintained its warmth from where you’d been laying all night. 

“I’m sure about you, too,” he suddenly says, voice groggy and eyes remaining closed. He lifts his arm, and you tuck yourself back into his embrace. 

[alyrasturnz]

you're so good at writing arguements and stuff i just finished reading "but daddy i love him" and oh my GOD. pls write a matt x reader angsty tosotd oneshot with an arguement and an apology

THE OTHER SIDE OF THE DOOR

❐ summary » y/n and matt had an anniversary dinner planned, a special evening meant to celebrate their bond. but once again, matt stayed late at work, putting aside their plans. this wasn't the first time—he had done it countless times before, each instance chipping away at y/n's patience. finally, she reached her breaking point. sick and tired of his neglect, she stormed out, calling things off in a fit of frustration. deep down, she hoped he would run after her, show her that she mattered.

❐ pairings » bf!matt x fem!reader

❐ warnings » argument (resolved), swearing, lowkey toxic!matt, toxic relationship dynamic

❐ a/n && w/c » here’s something small to keep yall fed while i work on something bigger… •  1.98k

in the dim glow of their intimate living room, the air between you and matt crackled with a palpable intensity, the kind that precedes a storm.

the rain outside mirrored the tempest brewing within, each droplet a thunderous note in the symphony of nature's fury, crashing onto the pavement with a relentless rhythm.

earlier that evening, their argument had been ignited by a matter so seemingly inconsequential, yet it had fanned the flames of discord into a roaring inferno.

matt had neglected the anniversary dinner plans, choosing instead to linger late at the warehouse, an oversight that cast a long shadow over the evening's expectations.

you had devoted the entire day to crafting a special meal, meticulously setting the table with candles and flowers, your heart brimming with anticipation to celebrate your love.

but as the hours slipped away and the food grew cold, your excitement metamorphosed first into disappointment, then hardened into a simmering anger.

and you might have let this transgression slide. but now you found yourself unable to, as this was the third and final strike.

when matt eventually crossed the threshold, exhausted and oblivious to the emotional storm brewing within you, the dam of your restraint finally burst.

"do you even care about us anymore?" you demanded, your voice quivering with the weight of unspoken sorrow and pent-up frustration.

matt, taken aback, attempted to articulate an explanation as he gently closed the door. "y/n, i'm sorry. time slipped away from me."

"lost track of time?" you echoed, your eyes welling up with tears. "do you have any idea how that makes me feel? like i'm not important to you!" you exclaimed, your voice cracking under the weight of your emotions.

matt sighed, running a hand through his hair in exasperation. "it's not like that, y/n. things come up and—"

"things come up?" you repeated in disbelief, your voice tinged with incredulity as you grabbed your bag.

"why can't you just listen to me for once?" matt's voice rose, each word laden with frustration and desperation.

you crossed your arms, your eyes blazing with anger. "i have listened, matt! but you never seem to care about what i need," you shot back, your voice trembling with a mix of hurt and fury.

matt took a step closer, his voice softer but no less intense. "i care, y/n. but you keep pushing me away," he murmured, his eyes searching yours for any glimmer of understanding.

you shook your head, tears beginning to spill from your eyes. "maybe because i'm tired of fighting for something that feels so one-sided," you whispered, your voice breaking under the weight of your emotions.

an oppressive silence fell between them, heavy and suffocating, as if the very air had thickened with unspoken words and lingering tension.

the silence that hung in the air signaled the breaking point of their relationship, a palpable void filled with the weight of unspoken grievances and shattered dreams.

the silence that ensnared them, coiling around their throats and stifling their breaths, as though the very air conspired to suffocate the remnants of their faltering connection.

finally, you could endure no longer. "this time, i’ve had enough," you declared, your voice trembling with the weight of your resolve. "i’m leaving," you stated, the finality of your words hanging in the air like a solemn decree.

matt’s eyes widened in shock, a mixture of disbelief and desperation flooding his gaze. "y/n, wait—" he stammered, his voice a fragile plea against the impending void.

but you were already at the door, your resolve unyielding to his desperate entreaties. "don't call me," you uttered, your voice quivering with a tumultuous blend of anger and sorrow. "it's over," you declared, the finality of your words echoing with irrevocable certainty.

as the door slammed shut with a resounding finality, matt stood there, stunned into silence. he longed to chase after you, to mend the fractured pieces of their relationship, but his feet felt as though they were anchored to the floor, paralyzed by the weight of his own inaction.

a surge of anger and melancholy surged through matt, the emotions intertwining like a tempest within him. tears streamed down his face, carving silent paths of sorrow, as he ran a trembling hand through his disheveled hair, each motion a testament to his inner turmoil.

"fuck!" he yelled, kicking the door with a force that echoed his frustration.

he let out a series of pathetic sobs, his back desperately seeking support against the unyielding door as he slid down, finally collapsing to the floor. burying his face into his hands, he succumbed to the torrent of despair that engulfed him.

outside, y/n walked into the pouring rain, the heavens weeping in unison with the turmoil within. each step felt like a penance, their heart laden with regret, a sorrow that seemed to seep into the very fabric of the storm around them.

deep down, you harbored a fragile hope that matt would follow, that he would stand beneath your window, the rain mingling with his fervent cries of love, throwing pebbles to capture your attention, a modern-day romeo desperate to mend the rift between you.

but for now, all you had was the relentless rain and the haunting echo of your own words, reverberating through the solitude. you wished with all your heart that matt could see beyond his pride and comprehend that, at the core of it all, your deepest desire was simply to be with him.

the rain soaked through your clothes, each droplet a cold reminder of your solitude, as you sank down onto the porch. hugging your knees to your chest, you leaned your back against the unyielding front door, seeking comfort in its solidity amidst the tempest that raged both outside and within.

tears mingled with the raindrops on your face, indistinguishable in the deluge, as you struggled to stifle your sobs. each breath was a battle, the weight of your sorrow pressing down like the relentless rain, blurring the line between your inner turmoil and the storm around you.

your mind raced with a torrent of memories from happier times, each recollection a bittersweet contrast to the present, intensifying the pain of the argument. the agony grew stronger, like a relentless tide, as the echoes of laughter and love clashed with the harsh reality of discord.

you wished with all your heart that matt would emerge from the shadows, wrap you in his arms, and whisper reassurances that everything would be okay. in that embrace, you longed to find solace, a sanctuary where the storm of emotions would finally subside, leaving only the promise of peace and understanding.

but all you are left with is the cacophony of the rain crashing onto the pavement, each drop a thunderous reminder of his absence, and the echoing thoughts that reverberate through the hollow chambers of your mind.

you had only left because you felt as though his indifference had cast you into the shadows, making you believe you held no significance in the dazzling tapestry of his life.

and watching him run out to you would have mended the fractures in your heart, sealing the fissures with the balm of his presence, but alas, he remained still, leaving those cracks unhealed.

little did you know that he stood just beyond the threshold, separated from you by a mere sliver of space and yet an insurmountable chasm of unspoken words and unfulfilled hopes.

all you’ve ever needed lay just on the other side of the door, concealed within reach yet veiled by the intangible barrier of hesitation and unvoiced desires.

»--•--«

under the cloak of night, matt stood outside your window, the clock striking 3:00 am, as if the very fabric of time conspired to weave an intricate tapestry of suspense and unspoken anticipation.

the rain has ceased, leaving in its wake a profound, quiet stillness that permeates the air, as if the world itself holds its breath in reverent silence, suspended in a moment of tranquil contemplation.

with a trembling hand, he delicately picked up a small pebble and tossed it gently at the window, the soft tap shattering the silence like a whispered secret in the dead of night.

"y/n!" he called out, his voice raw with emotion, each syllable trembling with desperation. "y/n, please come to the window!"

you stirred from your restless sleep, heart pounding as you recognized the voice, each word echoing through the stillness of the night like a haunting melody that refused to be ignored.

you shut your eyes tightly, turning away as you begged for the night to envelop you once more, longing for the embrace of dreams to whisk you away from the waking world.

but another soft tap shattered the fragile silence, compelling you to sit up, your senses heightened and your heart pounding with an unspoken urgency.

you approached the window and peered out, your eyes locking with matt’s desperate gaze, the depth of his anguish reflecting in the moonlit night, creating a silent dialogue of unspoken sorrow and longing.

"i’m so sorry," matt began, his voice cracking under the weight of his remorse. "i messed up. i should’ve been there for you, for us. i let youtube get in the way, and i hurt you. but please, believe me when i say i love you more than anything. you are my world, and i can’t stand the thought of losing you."

tears welled up in your eyes as you listened to his heartfelt plea. matt continued, his voice growing stronger with each word. "i know words aren't enough, but i promise to do better. i promise to make you feel loved and cherished every single day. please, give me another chance."

you remained silent, your heart torn between the lingering pain of past wounds and the fragile hope of reconciliation, each beat a testament to the inner turmoil that threatened to overwhelm you.

matt took a deep breath, feeling the weight of the moment. "remember when we first met? how we laughed about the silliest things and stayed up all night talking? i want to go back to that. i want to be the person who makes you smile."

he paused, searching for the right words, his gaze steady yet filled with vulnerability. "i know i've been distant, and i know i've hurt you. but i've realized something important: life without you is empty, a hollow echo of what it could be. i can't change the past, but i can promise you a future filled with love, respect, and understanding. i'll listen more, i'll be there more, and i'll never take you for granted again."

your resolve began to waver, the sincerity in matt's voice piercing through your defenses. "i've been talking to my brothers, trying to understand where i went wrong. i know i have a lot to work on, and i'm willing to do whatever it takes. therapy, couples counseling, anything. i just need you to know that i'm committed to making this work."

matt's eyes were pleading, his heart laid bare in a raw display of vulnerability. "please, y/n. give me a chance to prove that i can be the partner you deserve. i love you more than words can express, and i'm ready to fight for us."

your heart softened at his sincerity, the pain of the argument beginning to fade like mist in the morning sun. you opened the window, letting the cool night air rush in, carrying with it a sense of renewal. "matt," you whispered, your voice trembling with a mix of hope and apprehension. "come inside."

as matt climbed through the window, you felt a glimmer of hope flicker in the depths of your heart. you embraced, holding each other tightly, as if anchoring yourselves in a storm. both knowing that while the road ahead wouldn't be easy, your love was worth fighting for, a beacon guiding you through the darkness.

[donutz]

What aboutttttt............ Sebastian with his daughter/son/kid? Maybe before he got experimented on he had a child but couldn't see them anymore once he got fished, and recognizes them while they're a prisoner? I'll leave age/gender up to you

Not forcing!! Thank youu

Sebastian Solace reuniting with his kid

Meeting up with your father once again...

— Omg dad time!!!😂😂

Warnings: Father issues; PLATONIC!!!!; Negative thoughts, please DO NOT take them to heart, I don't mean any of that towards you, you're an amazing person ^^; Implied depression; Thoughts of su!c!de; Angsty but not so much; Reader can't get hurt by the monsters; No mention of age or gender, but Reader is over 21; Short :P(569 words); Cliffhanger!!

Staring at the blank and reflecting submarine ground, you see yourself. Well is it really yourself? With all that gear it could be anybody else.  They sent you to that prison because of what you’ve done.

Or did you really even do it?

No of course you didn’t.

They just think what your father did passes down to you.

Framing innocent people, killing them.

Disgusting.

To cover up your ‘mistake’ you signed up for this. They would’ve killed you like every other person, you’re not special(This is a lie, you’re amazing).

You arrive at the Hadal Blacksite, the large door opening. Revealing a large working site.

Stepping out, you hear a man’s voice through the speakers above. You look up. Nothing. Are they really even above you? Maybe they’re in the walls.

Are they watching you?

Can they hear you?

Can he hear you?

Does he know where you are?

Where is he?

Where are they?

Oh yeah, look upon the task ahead of course.

‘Ugh, this anxious stuff going on really hurts’.

‘Maybe I shouldn’t have signed this. Just so I could die’.

‘Being with dad sounds nice’.

You slide the keycard through the door. Door 001. You’re somewhat ready for what lies ahead. Any monsters, I mean you’re meters below the sea levels! Who knows what’s down here!

Door 020

You walked into a room, with a large window. Darkened, not really seeing much. Then a bright green light illuminates the room to your left.

Stupidly, you look at the source of light, seeing multiple green eyes with stars in them. Though they don’t affect you, at all. 

It’s.. Confused. Why won’t it affect you?

Oh. You’re his.

Nevermind then.

The shark swims away, leaving you in the dark. Again. It comes back a few times, but only to just see you.

Still, her eyes don’t affect you.

30 doors later, a vent grille quickly shoots to the other side of the room. Your tired eyes showing no fear or shock. Looking at the vent, you wait for something or someone.

“Need to stock up”?

.

.

.

What.

Now your eyes show some type of emotion.

They shrink, crinkles showing at the edge of your eyes, straightening your lips with a look of confusion on your face.

“Da—”

Your voice blanks out, your own vocal cords cutting itself off. Not from belief, you just haven’t talked for a bit. Your lips are dry, and your throat feels like a desert.

You clear your throat, going up to rub your eyes, only for your hand to bump against your visor.

Damn it.

“I have good thingss I swearrr”!! He jokes.

You walk over to the smaller space, getting down on your knees to crawl through it.

Reaching the end of it, you stand up.

“Welcome wel—”

Sebastian cuts himself off when he meets your gaze. His smile fading.

Comically, zigzags lightly shake around yours and his head, as if making some sort of connection through a radio channel. Your face makes a confused and focused look once again. While Sebastian looks surprised.

It’s silent.

You shake your head—

“Sorry— Do I know you”? You ask, cupping your sweating hand(Though it’s not like you can feel it) around the back of your neck, rubbing it.

Sebastian is taken aback, as if he recognizes that voice.

“Well I—… I just might”…

“… What’s your name”?

.

.

.

“Sebastian”.

You gasp—

“Dad”??

Short because... I'm more used to romantic stuff... And like... Yeah

[dovveri]

doctor's advice

synopsis: y/n decides to go to the leading plastic surgery clinic in korea bcs she's sick of feeling the way she does about how she looks. she catches the attention of dr. im nayeon, the head of this practice who thinks y/n is way too pretty to warrant any of those feelings she has about herself.

warnings: this is lowkey just smut oops, fingering, oral, body image issues - so a lil angsty in the beginning

w/c: 4.2k

a/n: this one is kinda all over the place and i lwk hate it but i needed to finish it so i could get over this writing block like i did kindaaa have a vision for it but i gave up halfway and just turned to sex which is why it doesn't flow well LMAO but hey! doctor nayeon is hot so!

⋆౨ৎ˚⟡˖ ࣪

"can i get your full name please?"

"y/n l/n."

the receptionist smiles at you, typing something into her computer and handing you a form, "alright y/n, just fill in this form and someone will be with you in a bit."

you nod, accepting the form and taking a seat in the waiting room of the plastic surgery clinic you were currently at.

you scan over the details of the form. most of it was just demographic information, asking you your age, gender, a little about your daily activities, whether or not you actively exercised, all the simple questions.

you were feeling a little desperate when you finally decided to make a first consultation at the most well-renowned plastic surgery clinic in seoul. you had been thinking about doing it for a while now, but lately the feeling of disgust at being in your own body was overwhelming.

your parents didn’t understand why you’d want to do anything to the body they brought into this world. your friends thought plastic surgery was an excessive response and that it could potentially be dangerous. but none of them understood what it felt like to wake up everyday and be reminded that you were stuck in this body, the fear that no-one will ever be able to love you and that you’d consequently end up alone for the rest of your pitiful life.

your grip on the pen grows a little tighter as you remind yourself why you’re here.

you feel a set of eyes on you as you’re getting to the end of the form, so you look up, locking eyes with a gorgeous woman in a clean white lab coat, curious eyes behind a set of thick spectacles that frame her face perfectly. with all your experience analysing how you look you can't help but think she would be the perfect reference for your surgical procedures.

but you're also hit with thoughts of why is she looking at me? is she judging me? i bet she's judging me. fuck what is she looking at? is it my legs? my arms? my nose? is she thinking i'm an unsolveable case? fuck i shouldn't have come here. i should go now-

"hi, y/n?"

you're snapped out of your thoughts when you realise the pretty woman is now standing in front of you.

"y-yes." you curse at the stutter but she pays it no mind, offering a smile.

"the receptionist gave me your name. i'm dr im but you can call my nayeon. do you want to come with me?"

your eyes widen when she introduces herself. dr im. the most well-renowned plastic surgeon in the industry. you heard rumours that she had waitlists up to 20 years long and that you couldn't get an appointment with her except through referral. she was the one who brought this clinic its reputation of the leading plastic surgery clinic in the country.

"i-i'm sorry there must be some mistake? i didn't think the dr. im would be my advising clinician today."

she smiles again, "well no i wasn't meant to be but i came to grab some files from the front desk and i saw you and asked jiyeon," she gestures to the receptionist who handed you your form, "and found out you were here for an advisory session and forgive me if i'm being forward but i just thought you were beautiful and wondered what you possibly could've wanted to get done."

you feel your cheeks rapidly heat up as you gape up at her in shock.

"i can call back the previous doctor who was assigned to you if you want! i didn't want to make you feel uncomfortable i'm sorry if i-"

you interrupt her quickly, "no no! sorry that was just a surprise to me i definitely wasn't expecting that from you but um- yeah sure we can go now i'm fine with you being my doctor."

she grins then, and you're entranced by her slightly larger front teeth that make an appearance, "great! follow me."

you stand up a little frantically, gathering all your things and quickly following dr im.

it's more of an office than a doctor's room, you note the expensive leather and framed awards and certifications hanging on her wall, the neatly organised desk and pretty flowers that decorate and give the room some colour.

you sit cautiously in one of the chairs in front of her desk as she moves to sit in hers

"water?" she offers you.

you shake your head no, glancing down at your hands and fiddling with them just to be able to do something.

she looks over your form very briefly before looking back to you with a kind smile. "so what were you hoping to get out of coming here today y/n?"

you can't look up at her, "u-um just... y'know. like... everything..."

she cocks her head, "everything?"

"yeah like... face, body, all of it."

nayeon frowns, "that would be quite an expensive procedure."

"oh money's not really a problem. i've saved up a lot for this." you try to joke a little, if only to ease your own nerves, "worked my ass off all throughout high school and college so i could do this one day."

"you don't want to spend that money on anything else?"

you're confused and finally look up at her, "well i mean sure there are plenty of things i could spend it on but this is something i've thought about for a long time now and i'm finally ready to do it."

she's quiet for a little, seeming to be deep in thought, before she speaks up, "y/n... has someone made you feel like this?"

you frown, your sweaty hands gripping your pants tighter, "i'm sorry what does this have to do with my appointment?"

"i want to make sure you're doing this for the right reason. wanting to alter your entire body is a big decision and it can have lasting impacts. i don't want you to regret it afterwards."

you're getting more and more frustrated. this was a famous plastic surgeon who dealt with thousands of surgeries and has probably met cases like yours but she still doesn't seem to understand you. just like your parents and your friends, no-one understood.

"why does it matter to you? i want to get lots of things done that’ll make you lots of money and that really should be your only concern."

she narrows her eyes at you, “y/n, i couldn’t care less about the money. look around.” she gestures to her office, all the expensive trinkets and decorations she has lying around, “i have enough money to support a family for 100 lifetimes. what i do care about are my clients-”

you burst, “what do you know?! you’ve probably spent your whole life being adored for everything you do. people probably fall over themselves just to get a chance to talk to you! you’ll never understand how it feels to be unloved, to hate yourself when you wake up every morning and look in the mirror, to think everyone’s always talking about you, looking at you, judging you, you’re so beautiful you couldn’t ever know!”

she’s surprised at your sudden increase in volume. you had kept all of this in for so long, you felt like if you ever told anyone else they’d just think you were complaining but it was so much more debilitating than that. you couldn’t talk to your parents or your friends out of fear they’d think you were too needy or attention-seeking or whatever. nayeon was the first stranger who had shown they cared for you and you took that as a sign to release all your years of pent up frustration at her.

“i- i’m sorry. i didn’t mean to explode like that i-“

“it’s okay y/n. i’m sorry you’ve had to feel like this for so long on your own. but i just want to say, i’m not one of those people. i know it’s hard to believe when you look at me and what i’ve accomplished, but i find it hard to believe no-one loves you. and sure i judged you when i first saw you but not negatively. i told you i thought you were what i thought to be the perfect model for other people’s procedures and i was curious what you wanted to change about that.”

she’s collected herself and responds to you calmly, only with the curiosity of a scientist in her eye.

you’re unsure how to respond to her, feeling more than a little awkward now after your accidental outburst.

you attempt to clear your throat to start, “right… um so-“

“why don’t you take off your clothes and show me what you’d like to have done?”

you blush a bright red at her response, nodding slightly as you both stand and you begin to strip. you leave your underwear on as she stands in front of you, running her eyes over your body.

“um… so i guess if we’re starting from the bottom… i wanted to slim my calves down and shape them a little better… obviously um my ass i’d like to be a little rounder-“ you gesture to your various body parts as you talk, and she’s nodding, eyes focused, hands reached out as you feel goosebumps litter your skin when she gently probes the areas you're talking about.

"would you mind taking off your underwear? i just need to get an estimate of what you're talking about."

you blush again as you nod shyly, peeling the offending piece of item off you and turning as she prods and pokes again.

"um... yeah so i was also thinking a tummy tuck? just to tighten all the skin here-"

the feeling of her fingers on your body is slowly driving you insane. you're shivering a little as she runs her hand along your lower stomach, humming a little.

"um also like y'know, a boob job-"

she gestures for you to take off your bra and you do so, now standing completely naked in front of the doctor.

her hands come up and cup them, your nipples are hardening in the cool air of her office, "what size were you thinking?"

"i-i- u-um-" she squeezes a little and you take a deep inhale, trying to calm yourself, your eyes glued to the ceiling as she fondles you, "m-maybe one up?"

she hums and you feel a thumb brush across a nipple whether intentionally or unintentionally and you're suddenly clenching your thighs together praying she doesn't notice.

"so also um arm lifts, a face lift, kinda wanna hollow out my cheeks a little more and maybe highlight my cheekbones? lip fillers and a new nose, all of my scars obviously, and probably a brow lift too..."

her hands are on your face now, cupping your cheeks and she's close enough you can see the small specks of gold in her eyes and the little mole under her left eyebrow. your breath hitches as her eyes meet yours, they're so full of wonder and curiosity and you're reminded of the fact that you're very naked right now and standing in front of an extremely pretty woman.

she hums again, eyes dropping to your nose, than your lips, and you unconsciously wet your lips in tension, watching as her eyes trace the action.

then all of a sudden she's gone, moving back towards her chair and turning on her monitor. you quickly scramble for your clothes, hurriedly putting everything back on as you join her, blushing at the slightly sticky feeling between your legs.

"okay so we can do everything you just said. i'm going to need a few references-"

"you can use yourself for most of them."

she raises an eyebrow at you, a slight lift in the corner of her mouth.

"i appreciate the compliment y/n but if you're going to play that game then i'd like to say i wouldn't want to be sitting here discussing what to change about you in the first place."

"what would you be doing then?"

there's a glint in her eyes and you swallow, "helping you realise how there's nothing to change. eventually i'd get you to help me take a few pictures maybe, as reference for future customers who come in."

"and how would you do that?"

"how would i make you feel beautiful?" she's standing up and rounding her desk, taking her glasses off and placing them on her table, and you're looking up at her feeling strangely defiant.

"well yeah it'd be pretty hard knowing how much i hate myself-"

her arms now bracket the sides of your chair and she's leaning down with a clear smirk on her face.

"i'd touch along here," she's trailing one of her hands up your arm, leaving goosebumps in her wake, "here," she reaches your neck, then up to your face, leaning in to speak into your ear now, "everywhere just so you know exactly what i'm talking about. and i'd make you feel so good like you've never felt before, and i'd keep doing that until you realise just how crazy you drive me."

your eyes are lidded when you speak up again, voice hoarse and deep, "try it."

she's all in your space now, climbing into into your lap, lips closing around your ear lobe as she sucks. your eyes close and you groan a little when her hips meet yours, tilting your head back distantly wondering how the fuck you got yourself in this situation but quickly shaking that thought off when you feel her move towards your neck, licking and sucking.

soon enough she's moving up your jaw and towards your lips, one hand on your shoulder, the other one at your waist. she stops just short of your lips with a little smirk on her face as you share the same air.

your eyes meet her in a blaze and you surprise her when you yank her down, she moans when that brings your hips together even closer and you capture her lips with impatient want. her hands are tangling into your hair now, pulling lightly as your lips slide against each other, your breath hitching when she licks a tongue along your top lip.

“these- fucking- lips-“ she’s breaking away between kisses for air, panting softly.

“i can’t believe- you’d want to do anything- when i could kiss these- all fucking day-“

she’s breaking away again, leaving you chasing as she places pecks all across your face, “new nose? please this slant is perfect. these cheeks are adorable and these eyebrows shape your pretty pretty face just right-“ she’s kissing every inch of your skin, moving back down to your neck and nipping at your collarbone.

her hands are at the bottom of your shirt, sneaking up to caress the lines of your stomach and you let out a sharp inhale when one hand comes unashamedly up to cup your breast.

“how could you be making those pretty sounds if this wasn’t your body i was touching hmm?” she’s lifting your shirt over your head, sliding her hands everywhere.

"breast implants?" she scoffs as she brings her hands behind your back to unclasp your bra, flinging it behind her and moving her hands straight to cup your tits. "please darling look how perfectly these fit in my hands. and the way they spill out between my fingers if i squeeze like this-" you moan unabashedly now when she gropes and grasps.

"god i could just hold these all day-" she's dipping down, a tongue tracing the top of your breast, the hot feeling against your skin driving you absolutely mad as you roll your hips against her with a whimper.

she pushes you back down roughly with her hips, looking up at you, her hands never stopping her fondling at your breasts, she is obscene. "don't do that now sweetie. i'm meant to be taking care of you and showing you just how pretty you are to me. so you're gonna sit there and look pretty while i do exactly that mmk?"

she's taking a nipple into her mouth now, licking and sucking, and you hiss when she bites down softly, feeling her mouth turn upward at the sound.

she lavishes your breasts, leaving you quivering and flushed in her wake, she makes small comments in between periods of sucking marks into the side of your tits, her tongue has never once left your body since she started, wet trails leading everywhere.

she's kissing down your stomach now and you suck in a breath as she sinks to her knees in front of you, looking up at you with those curious eyes, completely clothed still in her white labcoat, mouth wrecked and lips in a pretty little pout. she's spreading your legs and you're fighting a little against her, embarassed at the fact that her face would be so close to you and she could see every little detail of your arousal.

she tuts but shuffles back a little, letting you close your legs again but she picks one up and starts feeling along your calf, pressing gently at the muscles there and feeling you unclench in relief.

"these don't need anything done either. you're just a little tense here. some stretching and a good massage will work those kinks right out and you won't even notice them anymore."

she's pressing down on all the pressure points to release the tension in your calves, and you moan slightly in pleasure as your head lolls back, eyes squeezing shut, cool air hitting your wet breasts, nipples perking at the lack of attention and you shudder.

you're helpless when she starts spreading your legs again, miraculous hands moving up to your knees, still kneading and massaging, then up to your thighs.

then her mouth is on you again, hot and wet against the inside of your thighs and you're squirming, breathing picking up as the tension in the room multiplies tenfold. you don't dare look down at her afraid the sight may just push you over the edge.

but hands come shooting down to her head when that tongue, that fucking tongue, licks a gentle strip from the bottom of your cunt to the top, stalling at the hood of your clitoris and pushing it back only to place a small peck on the nub and moving back down to drink in the essence flowing out of you.

"f-fuck dr im i-i-"

she stops, looking up at you with a quirk of an eyebrow, a lustful darkness seeping into her curious eyes, "call me that again."

"doctor im?"

she's back to lapping at your pussy and you moan, closing your thighs around her head, one arm raised up and holding on to the back of the chair to keep yourself upright.

"so fucking delicious. my god i could just tie you up and eat you out for hours."

you're whining, cunt clenching at her words but she's prying your folds open with her fingers, enamoured by the way your hole only seems to leak more with every action she takes, then she's licking into you and you cry out at the feeling. her tongue lashing against your walls as she moans at the taste of your core, sending shockwaves of pleasure right up your spine.

you can't take much more but she's lifting your ass and gripping, tugging you closer to her so she can explore even more of you.

eventually her mouth comes up for air and she's grabbing and kneading your ass cheeks, "these?-" her voice is a lot more gravelly now, thick with lust and she's panting slightly, "you don't know how perfect these are. they're the exact amount of firmness but still soft enough that i could use your ass like a pillow and you're talking about shape?" she sends a light slap up into you and you gasp, only clenching even harder around nothing, "just look how that rippled for me darling you need to know how fucking hot you look right now and how much you turn me on just from looking at you."

she almost sounds like she's growling with the low tenure of her voice and she's tugging you back into her, kissing your clit and sucking it into her mouth.

"d-doc- i- i- oh fuck- i'm gonna-"

she offers no response, just humming into you and you rut your hips into her at the vibration, completely helpless and positively dripping.

soon enough you're spilling over, coming with a moan, your back arching and she's licking you through it, you're completely blissed out heaving in effort before you slump back down into the chair.

but she doesn't stop. you're feeling overstimulated as she continues her assault on your pussy and you're lightly tugging her hair upwards trying to get her to come up but she's shaking her head no, and then shaking her head to tongue you side to side and you're building up all over again.

"w-wait d-doc i- i can't i just- doc-"

she looks up at you then, and holy fuck you almost came again at the sight. her slightly disheveled hair, eyes glazed over, mouth open and tongue sticking out absolutely ruined.

she's moving back up your body, kissing along places she's already left her mark on. "what did i say about sitting still and looking pretty baby? hmm?" a long finger finds its way to your folds and you're clenching in anticipation. "i said i'd make you cum as many times as it'll take for you to realise you're hot right? i'm not one to take back my words sweetie."

"f-fuck i- oh shit doc i-"

she's pushing into you torturously slow, a teasing smirk against your neck, "hm?"

"nggh fuck please- please i need- fuck- i need you- oh shit-"

"this?" another finger joins her but she stays hilted inside you, unmoving as you wriggle under her.

"ah- y-yes! p-please move- oh fuck i- please-" you're babbling at this point, almost incoherent but she's sliding out of you and then pushing in oh so wonderfully.

she's back to mouthing at your nipple, the sensitive nubs sending flares of heat down to your core, "so so pretty."

"i- yes- i- oh fuck-"

her fingers are entering you at a faster pace now, the wet sounds of your fucking filling the empty office.

all of a sudden there's a loud knock at the door and she stills inside you, looking up in slight alarm, nipple popping out of her mouth.

"doctor im your 3pm is here."

you can't help but clench around her fingers and she whips her head back down to you, wiggling her fingers a little at the feeling and you gasp.

"tell them to wait! i'll be another 10 minutes."

she's started moving inside you again and you bite your lip trying to keep quiet.

"alright." the sound of footsteps walking away is quiet before nayeon is driving into you again with renewed vigour.

she's hitting the spot inside you that's making your toes curl, her lips are back around your nipple sucking and licking, and then she's using a hand and pressing down lightly on your lower stomach stimulating your g-spot both from the inside and outside and you cry out around her as you come.

you're panting as she brings you back down, caressing your face and pushing your hair back, moving up to leave kisses all across your face again.

you're only able to open your eyes after a minute or so, blinking dazedly at her as she smiles and plants a kiss on your lips.

"listen... if you want... how about you give me a chance to make you feel loved, to show you how beautiful you are, and if you still feel that way about yourself afterwards, then i'll do all those surgeries for you personally, no more questions asked." she's soft against you, and you can't help but nuzzle your head into her neck, still a little boneless.

"okay."

"okay?" her eyes are bright as she pulls back so she can face you.

you nod with a lazy smile and she's hugging you, kissing your face again murmuring sweet you're so prettys and you did so wells.

too soon and she's lifting herself off you, helping you back into your clothes and standing by the door.

"i'm sorry that i had another appointment. i totally forgot. but i've got your number in my files so i'll message you after work today okay? maybe if you're free tonight we can grab something to eat together?"

you're shy as she's sending you off, nodding a small yes.

"okay don't ghost me now yeah?"

you blush, "y-yeah. see you dr. im."

"nayeon please. you can call me nayeon when we're not... y'know-" she sends you a wink and you only blush more, only barely stopping yourself from bowing to her in apology.

"alright n-nayeon."

"there we go. i'll see you in a bit okay y/n?"

you smile and walk out the door she's opened for you. it would still be a long way before you could be happy with yourself, but you thought maybe it wouldn't be such a bad idea to postpone your surgeries for a little and see what im nayeon likes so much about you.

[reiderwriter]

i need a very angsty/light fluff with spencer to i can see you by taylor. i love your writing sososo much 💗💗

A/N: I'm not sure I got any light fluff in there but I certainly did make it angst 💀 thank you for the request 💗

W/C: 1.7k

Summary: Six months into your secret relationship, you're beginning to think that maybe Spencer doesn't love you the way you love him

Warnings: toxic relationship, Spencer is an ass and then he's kinda really intense. Inspired by:

Here's my masterlist, and I'm currently working on a request challenge, so feel free to check that out too! 💗

Six months of dating was about as long as you could stand before you knew that it wasn’t going anywhere if things didn’t change. 

At first, you’d been on board with Spencer’s suggestion to keep your relationship secret for the first few weeks of dating. It made sense with you both working at the same place and on the same team, and you didn’t want to change the group dynamic. But weeks turned into months, and six months was a long time to wait for public recognition of a relationship that could be so much more than secret looks in the hallways and weekends wrapped up in each other. 

Everytime he brushed you off whilst at work, you felt part of your heart cracking. The first time he’d done it was only days after your mutual confessions. You’d been alone in a police precinct on some case or the other, and, needing a moment to process your emotions, you grabbed his hand for support. He’d pulled his from your grip quickly, doing his best not to make the sudden movements, and if was like your world was crashing down on you. You’d confronted him that night in his hotel room, and he’d blown you off again. 

“Y/N, we promised that this would stay between us for now. I’m sorry that I can’t be like other partners, and that I can’t give you what you need right now, but we can’t do… we can’t hold hands or kiss or seem any closer than we usually are to the others, okay?” He’d seemed so stressed you’d given in and backed down, but his words still stung. 

Months of the same scenarios repeating themselves felt like purgatory though, and you knew that you needed to either cut him loose or make him confess to the others. 

You hadn’t reached your tipping point when he’d got shot in the neck and forced you to stand on the sides. Just watching while other agents, agents who had known him longer, sure, but didn’t know how he felt, how he tasted, how his scent was enough to drive you crazy, fawned over him. They didn’t know that you would be so lost without him that you’d have gone insane if that bullet was in a different position. They didn’t know, and he didn’t care. He’d checked up on you in private, of course, but only when he was discharged. 

“Spencer, what would you have done if that had been me?” you asked him, when he questioned you. He stood staring at you for a minute, really taking the time to think about the words, think about the scenario you’d just asked him to recreate in his mind. You’d fallen for him because he was so goddamned thoughtful, because he always took the time to think and find the correct answer when he was talking to you. 

You wished then that he’d answered quicker. That it would have taken him less time to say that he would have been inconsolable, that he would’ve been lost without you, that he didn’t want to think about that ever happening at all. 

He didn’t say any of those things. 

“I’d do what you did. I’d have managed.” You’d wanted to scream at him then, but you didn’t. You just climbed into bed beside him and wrapped your arms around him as tightly as you could without hurting him. You fell asleep to the image of him being shot playing over and over again. 

That had been three months into your relationship, and now with three more months of stolen kisses and antipathy, you’d reached your breaking point. Maybe it was the tension in the office from the latest case, maybe it was the detective openly flirting with you, but you certainly couldn’t control the explosion that had been brewing all this time. 

From the beginning of the week, the lead detective on your case had been making it clear and obvious that he wanted to take you out. He was showing such obvious and tempting advances that even members of your team were approaching you in private to ask you to consider. It was hard to explain to Emily and Morgan that you weren’t interested in the man, and when even Garcia started encouraging you on a phone call to go after “Detective Dreamy,” you’d almost burst into tears. 

Because throughout the advances, the obvious flirtation and the team banter, your boyfriend had not said a word either way. You weren’t sure what you actually wanted from him, because when he finally did say something, it was like he chose all the wrong words and strung them together in a sentence. 

“So how are you enjoying all the attention from Detective McDermot?” he’d asked casually, not glancing up from the pile of documents he was scanning. 

“What the hell is wrong with you, Reid?” you snapped. He looked at you in shock, completely oblivious that he’d said anything wrong. 

“Aren’t you jealous? Isn’t there some part of you that wants to let him know that I’m taken?” the tears were filling your eyes in rage, and you angrily swiped them away before they fell, not wanting him to use them against you. 

“I’m sorry, I didn’t realise that it was so upsetting to you. Do you want me to say something to him?” 

“Do you want to say something to him? Because it only matters if you actually want to do it.” 

“Y/N, that doesn’t even make sense.” 

“We’re at work, Reid, you’d do well to remember that. In this office, it’s Agent Y/L/N, right?” you grabbed the file you were working on and left the room, but you weren’t getting away from him that easily. 

“Y/N- Agent Y/L/N, wait,” he grabbed your wrist and pulled you into the nearest storage closet. 

“We promised each other, we promised that we wouldn’t tell anyone for a while, why are you being like this?” He still had a strong grip on your wrist and the intimate size of the storage closet had forced you together, his body pushing against yours. 

“What would you do? What would you do if I went out there and said I’d go on a date with him? Because right now, I’m getting concerned looks thrown at me by every member of the team because there must be something wrong with me if I’m turning him down.” The bitterness of your tone took him by surprise. 

“Don’t do that, for gods sake, do not do that Y/N.” 

“Give me one good reason. Scratch that, give me one explanation that I can give to get everyone off my back.” You pulled your wrist from his grip now, but he countered by grabbing your hips roughly and forcing you back into the wall, pinning you there. You couldn’t move, and you didn’t want to, intent on hearing his reply. 

“You’re mine,” he said it so quietly that had you not been pressed up against the entire length of him, you wouldn’t have heard it. You let out a little giggle at his words. 

“Fuck, Spencer, is that it? I’m yours?” you shook your head a little as his grip on you tightened, his head leaning down, forehead resting against yours as you shared in each breath he took in and let out. 

“I can see that you don’t want to be in a public relationship with me, Spencer. You don’t want to tell people about us, and that’s… that’s going to have to be enough for me, but I’m not sure how long it’s going to be enough.” 

“You don’t want to be with me anymore?” he asked after a minute, taking the time to calm himself before continuing. 

“No, God, Spencer, I love you so fucking much, that is not the issue here.” 

“Then what is? Because from where I’m standing, you’ve just suggested leaving me, leaving this.” 

“You are so fucking self-possessed sometimes,” the words would probably have cut deeper had his lips not been mere centimeters from your own. “I’ll be clear. I love you and I want other people to know that I love you, and that maybe you love me, too.” 

“But we talked about this before at the start-” 

“And that was six months ago, Spencer. I need more now. And I’m honestly a little hurt that you don’t want more now.” 

“I don’t want more?” He seemed genuinely surprised by the suggestion, and the hurt in his eyes stung for the few seconds he let it linger there. Instead of using his words to explain himself, he finally closed the gap between the two of you, pressing his lips into yours fervently. 

The kiss was angry, hot. It was the feeling of being deep in an argument and knowing that you still had to fight your way out. Your lips clashed, your mouths opened and your tongues began fighting for dominance as he attempted to push his way inside of you, to make you feel the strength of his emotions that he clearly couldn’t talk through. 

After a minute, you pushed him away, panting hard. 

“I want more and more of you by the second. I want to wrap you up and possess you, I want to make it so that no one else can even look at you, I want to make it that I am the only person on this planet that can see you, and everytime I think that, I get so scared.” He spits each word at you, still lost in the venom of the moment. 

“We fight monsters everyday, and each moment I spend with you, I feel like I can understand them more and more, because I think of you the same way they think about their victims. Does that not terrify you?” 

You let your hands trail up his body and into his hair as he talks, feeling vindicated now that he is finally spilling his guts to you.

“So yes, our relationship is private, because if I got the opportunity to possess you in public, I do not know what I would do to anyone who looked at you, even if they are our closest friends.” He dropped his forehead to yours again, somehow heavier this time. 

“You’re mine.” 

You stood there, still for a minute gathering your thoughts before you spoke again. 

“Are you going to tell them or not?” you breathed out, lowly, doing your best to not let your emotions get the better of you. 

“We’ve been arguing in this closet for five minutes and twenty eight seconds, Y/N. If they’re good at their jobs, I won’t have to tell them.” 

[yanxidarlings]

honestly idk what this is but i was in a tad of an angsty mood and this was supposed to be for an ask but it kinda sucks and i didn't like how it fit into the ask but i didn't want to not publish it if that makes sense? so here's a lil oneshot of reader meeting his yandere's

THE HOGWARTS EXPRESS: YANDERE! MATTHEO RIDDLE X MALE! READER X YANDERE! THEODORE NOTT

starting at hogwarts was a moment of excitement for many young witches and wizards. coming of age to learn how to execute spells and brew potions was a formative moment in a wizards life. from a long line of pureblood ravenclaws, m/n l/n was escorted across the platform by the familys house elf. the sight of countless figures bustling around was overwhelming. instinctively, m/n l/n covered his lower face with his hand "young master" the house elf called out, but the boy was zoned out. tugging the mittened hand of the boy, the house elf repeated "young master, you must board the train now"

the attention of the boy was finally earned, "okay" was all he said as he shook off the house elf's hold. the two boarded the hogwarts express, shuffling through the crowds of students searching for a free compartment. m/n l/n was quiet as the house elf guided him to an empty compartment, barely looking up as he followed the elf's lea-

bump "'m sorry" was all he muttered before run-walking off, not looking up at the individuals face or waiting for a response.

"that was rude, young master" the house elf chimed as they came to a stop, the smaller creature opening a compartment door and handing the boy his bags. his mouth opened to speak, but no words came out. with a bow, the house elf left m/n to his own devices.

e/c eyes stared blankly out the window, hands clutched, mind swirling. now that he was alone the panic would settle in. 7 years, leaning his head on the glass, i can't keep this up for 7 years, the train took off, the reality of everything setting in.

abrubtly, rudely disturbing the male's panic session, the compartment door opened "there's that son of a bitch!" "who the hell do you think you are" "you filthy mudblood" a voice rung. snapping his head to the door, with wide, disturbed eyes. the other boy dragged m/n out of his seat by the collar "'m sorry" the dark haired boy mocked, "do you know who i am?" m/n remained quiet "oh and now your going to stay quiet like a fucking baby" nothing "a mudblood like you better learn to respect his superiors" m/n surpressed a giggle at the others words.

the boy looked like he was about to explode with fury. his fist bundled up and his grip on m/n's shirt tightened, just as he was about to give the other a black eye, another voice spoke "calm down riddle, he bumped into you he didn't curse you"

the bo- riddle's fist only became redder as he turned towards the other, also dark haired, male "don't fucking tell me what to do not-" riddle was unable to finish his sentance as m/n's fist collided with his face.

nott had an agape expression as riddle cradled his nose, turning to stare at m/n with wide eyes.

riddle looked as if he was about to say something, trying to figure out how to respond. m/n had already sat back down again "are you done" he spoke, doing his best to stare directly into riddle's eyes. "yes he is" nott answered for the other as he pushed pass riddle and sat down "theodore nott" he extended his hand, an unreadable expression on his face. riddle eventually spoke "mattheo riddle".

m/n did not say anything for a while, eyes studying the two- mattheo and theodore, before finally replying "ok. please leave now"

they did not leave.

mattheo scoffed "you've got a lot of nerve for a mudblood" m/n was staring out the window again. he sighed lightly, standing up and grabbing his luggage, without a word, he left. that was enough socialization for one train ride.

leaving the two intruding males behind. "why wouldn't he reveal his identity if he wasn't muggleborn" mattheo didn't know if he was talking to theodore, or himself "you look disappointed, riddle, got a crush already?" mattheo began to lunge towards theodore, but stopped himself half-way, sitting back, and folding his arms. mattheo riddle did indeed have a crush.

the rest of the train ride passed by quickly, the first years were guided off the train by a tall man that introduced himself as hagrid, who ushered them towards these small rowboats. mattheo found himself rushing to the same boat as the boy who had punched him earlier, missing by just a second. he stared at the other from a distance as they travelled towards the castle, and as they were led towards the great hall, ignoring the chattering of his 'friends'.

"lorenzo berkshire" professor mcgonagall called name after name "slytherin!", "susan bones" "hufflepuff" "draco malfoy" "slytherin" "michael corner" "ravenclaw", m/n fiddled his fingers as he awaited his name being called, the feeling of an intense stare didn't help his nerves either, he glanced up for a moment to see mattheo riddle glaring? at him from the slytherin table. at least ill be in ravenclaw, away from him m/n soothed to himself.

"m/n l/n" professor ... mcgonagan? called out. carefully walking up to the stool, he sat gently. the hat was placed upon his head, mumbling to itself, before letting out a gasp "that is strange" it muttered. dread filled m/n's stomach, it knows, he could've cried right then and there, but he knows better, he knows what would happen.

"slytherin!" the sorting hat finally yelled out. for a moment, he didn't move, "are- are you sure" he quietly asked the hat, "positive, that's where you belong".

and with that, mcgonagan ushered m/n towards the slytherin table, the only free spot next to a blonde first year, that's gotta be a malfoy, m/n thought to himself as he approached the table. "im malfoy, draco malfoy, i think we'll make good friends, l/n" the blonde had already outstretched his hand. if he weren't now sharing a house with the boy, m/n would have ignored him, but his grandmother would kill him if he insulted a malfoy, so he just nodded "sure we will".

the whole feast, malfoy wouldn't shut up, my father this, my family that, not to mention the kid on his left, lorenzo berkshire, kept trying to strike up a conversation. theodore nor mattheo didn't say anything, but didn't stop staring, m/n could see a cut on his nose from the impact, and the outlines of a forming bruise. i should probably apologise for that.

[thebenjiblackwoodexpress]

Devil's Snare Part. 10

Aemond Targaryen x Reader

Description: Following Blood and Cheese, Aemond's wife is beset by nightmares, which only his presence can soothe. Y/N fears that her anxieties and trauma will make it difficult for her husband to love her as he did. Aemond reassures her that loving her is the easiest thing he has ever done.

Features Aemond having the conversation I think he should have been allowed to have with Helaena following B&C in the show, and being a loving uncle to Jahaera.

Previous part Dividers by @zaldritzosrose

Writer's note: Sorry if the last part was too angsty and if I diverged too far from the fluffy tone of this story. I have put myself in fanfic jail 😬. This part leans on the fluffier side, so hopefully that makes up for it and rest assured they'll get a happy ending.

Warnings: depictions of ptsd, panic attacks and nightmares, mostly hurt/comfort and fluff. Some sexual content but no smut. Canon divergent. Female reader.

Aemond entered his sister's quarters with a heavy heart, his head downturned. He was almost surprised she'd admitted him at all. It pained him to observe the despair that was plain to see on her face as she clutched at a silken shroud embroidered intricately by her hand.

He spoke as softly as he could, feeling he needed to treat her as delicately as possible, his own voice thick with emotion.

"Sister. I wanted to check on you...and to apologise. Though I know there is no apology I could give that would be sufficient for my part in your suffering."

Helaenas expression looked distant, as if she were looking through him rather than at him.

"Was it worth it? Enacting your vengeance against Lucerys. Was it worth the price?"

There was no anger in her voice, but her question struck Aemond like a blow just the same.

"No, sweet sister. It was not. I loved my nephew dearly and despise myself for my part in his loss. If I could take it back I would."

Helaena nodded, though she would not look at him now. Perhaps she could not bear to.

"I forgive you." Aemond gawped at her, unable to believe that was possible. He knew his sister did not much like to be touched, so although he wished to embrace her, he refrained. Instead, he raised his hand to trace the golden threads of a dragon she'd embroidered.

"This is for my son." His heart clenched at the love evident in her voice. A mother's love.

"It is beautiful, sister."

After leaving Helaena's chambers, Aemond headed for the council chamber, which he knew would soon be in session. The tension was palpable as he entered and he noted a strange expression he couldn't place on his mother's features as she held out a piece of parchment. A letter he could see as he came closer.

"Who is the missive from, mother?"

Whoever it was from, it had clearly had a profound effect on the council who were bickering over each other.

"Rhaenyra. She sent a raven to denounce the murder of Jahaerys. According to the princess, it is the work of Daemon acting on his own. She claims he pursues his own claim now at Harrenhal."

Aemond raised an eyebrow. That had been the last thing he'd been expecting.

"And do you think she speaks true?"

"It is difficult for me to be sure when I cannot see the truth or the lie in her eyes."

Aemond nodded simply. The events of the previous night had turned everything he thought he had known on its head, including this war. Before, he had been resigned to fighting for Aegon's claim out of loyalty to his family. Now, when he saw the true price of this internecine conflict, he wished only to resolve it as quickly and with as little bloodshed as possible. If his sister had not sent the assassins, and she was insistent that the Red Keep should know this, then perhaps there was still hope for peace between them...

Several days passed before Y/N felt able to leave Aemond's chambers, being the only place she could feel any sense of security. But it was not long before Y/N felt compelled to go to Helaena, to comfort her friend who was more like a sister. From then on, Y/N would venture out only to take her meals with Helaena and Aemond, always wishing to be installed in Aemond's chambers before night fell, when the nightmares would set in. She would often wake in the night, sweat causing her hair to stick to the nape of her neck, and tears streaking her cheeks. But Aemond was always there to hold her and soothe her cries, to tell her that she was safe and no one would harm her again. She found comfort in his arms and in his words, though she could not fully believe them.

Even in the daylight hours, Y/N felt that she was standing on a precipice from which she could fall at any moment. The slightest thing could cause her to relive the horror of Jahaerys' death; a loud noise, the presence of someone unexpected in the chambers she shared with Aemond. Even the colour red sent visions swimming before her eyes.

Breakfasting with Aemond in the morning room overlooking the garden, Y/N had felt a rare moment of calm and tranquility. The sun was shining brightly in the sky, casting the garden in a soft glow and warming Y/N's skin pleasantly. Helaena did not feel up to joining them, and Y/N had just determined to check in on the princess before a handmaiden carried in a tray of berry tarts, placing them before her. And all Y/N could focus on was the red juices of the berries oozing out of the pastry, dark enough to resemble blood. Then she could not see the pastries at all, just images of gore she could not shake though she shut her eyes tightly and began to take deep breaths which quickly turned frantic. Warm hands suddenly gripped hers, and her eyes snapped open to the sight of Aemond kneeling before her, staring intently into her face with deepest concern. Following the direction of her eyeline as she once again focused on the berry tarts, she heard him order the handmaiden to remove them, though it felt as if she were trying to hear him through water. Turning back towards her, Aemond gently took hold of her elbows to pull her up and guide her from the room, out into the garden. Now that she could no longer see the suspicious red substance, Y/N felt her mind begin to calm, aided by the fresh and fragrant air of the garden.

"You are safe, my love. Can you hear the birdsong? Smell the perfume of the rose bush? You are in the garden with me. See?"

Plucking a pink rose from a nearby bushel, Aemond tenderly tucked it in her hair by her ear, before stroking his knuckles along her cheekbone.

As the soft petals tickled Y/N's ear, grounding her, she felt the tension release from her taut muscles, which had been poised to bolt. Though embarrassment quickly replaced fear at causing such a scene over an innocent plate of pastries. Glancing back at the morning room from where they'd come, she caught the eye of a handmaiden, eyes wide in shock at her reaction. Y/N quickly turned away and buried her face in Aemond's chest.

In an effort to keep her mind preoccupied and to avoid spiralling so publicly again, Y/N filled her days with embroidering dresses and garments for Jahaera that she thought might please Helaena, picking and unpicking her stitching until she was satisfied. She had always had a talent for needlepoint, and the precision required kept her mind focused. Aemond quickly took note of her habits and would wordlessly bring her new fabrics in the most elegant and luxurious materials, along with thread in every colour. She particularly delighted in a silver thread that appeared metallic when it caught the light. Y/N had smiled to find one of Aemond's own eye patches, the strap untethered, strewn across his desk in an effort to look like it had been carelessly thrown aside. Y/N had a keen suspicion that he'd left it for her to mend, just as she'd mended his eyepatch and presented it to him when they'd first met. It had been his preference to wear the one she'd mended ever since. It had pleased her to mend it for him, a welcome distraction, ensuring that the stitches were so close together it hardly looked like it had needed mending in the first place. Her heart was warmed to see Aemond wearing the same eyepatch the very next day.

While the days had grown easier as Y/N had found ways to distract herself and took comfort in the company of Helaena and little Jahaera, Y/N still found herself beset by nightmares that she could not seem to shake.

Y/N awoke from yet another nightmare with a start, panting heavily and looking around frantically trying to make out her surroundings. "It's alright, your alright. It was only a dream." The familiar tenor of Aemond's voice pulled her from the brink of her terror and she became fully aware of his hands stroking her face softly, as he whispered words of comfort to her. Pressing her face into his shoulder, she breathed in his scent, at once comforting and familiar, as he gathered her into his arms.

"Do you wish to tell me..."

"No" Y/N interrupted quickly. She did not wish to speak of the horrors that plagued her at night. If she voiced them, they would only feel more real.

Aemond wordlessly stroked her hair as she lay on his chest, but after a few moments she murmured against him "I'm sorry."

Aemond gently pulled her away from him so he could see her face.

"Whatever could you have to apologise for? You have done nothing wrong, my love."

Y/N rolled away from him, staring up at the ceiling. She felt the bed shift as Aemond shifted onto his side to face her, pressing a hand to her cheek to direct her gaze to him.

"Please tell me, my darling. I cannot help you if you won't speak to me."

Y/n let her eyes flutter closed, finding it difficult to put words to what she was feeling under Aemond's perpetually direct stare. The warmth of his hand against her cheek gave her the strength to continue.

"I can't seem to shake my fear, it is constant and haunts my steps no matter how I fill my days. And at night the shadows and silence conspire together to grant me nightmares every time I close my eyes. I cannot but feel I must be a burden to you now, always having to comfort me and wake to me screaming. What was it this time?"

At the feel of Aemond's lips on her forehead she opened her eyes, distressed to see her husband's own despair reflected in his eye.

"My name. You just kept shouting for me."

Y/N groaned in embarrassment, hiding her face in her hands, though Aemond only prised them away, holding them to his heart so she couldn't hide from him again.

"You have no reason to be embarrassed. I mostly dream of you anyway so I'm certain I say your name in my sleep often enough."

His mouth quirked up in the ghost of a smile, but Y/N couldn't find it within herself to laugh, overwhelmed by her exhaustion and feelings of shame. Aemond's face fell at her expression, though it was quickly replaced by a look of determination.

"I won't allow you to reprimand yourself for something entirely out of your control. And if you must bear hardship, I would bear it with you. You could never be a burden to me. Loving you is not a hardship, it is the easiest thing I have ever done."

Y/N rolled fully onto her side to face Aemond, shuffling closer to him.

"I don't know how long it will take for me to feel OK again, to not jolt in terror every time someone enters the room. I doubt this is what you imagined for yourself when you fell in love."

Aemond placed a hand against her waist, his expression suddenly very serious.

"Listen to me now. My whole life before you had been filled with darkness, a shadow cast over me ever since my eye was taken. But suddenly, there was you, unexpectedly, miraculously, a guiding light. It was not quite love at first sight. But you sparked my curiosity, which then grew into a quiet admiration as you saw me as a someone who could be good, who could be a protector. You were so shy, so timid, I remember you could barely speak to me at first. Yet you were so kind, so thoughtful...and then you blushed. I saw it and I knew I wanted to see it for the rest of my life. Before I knew it you had sunk so deep into my bones, into my very soul, you became essential to me, inspiring a love so fierce it is more than love. I believe that you were always meant to be mine, and I yours. We simply had to find one another."

Y/N blinked away the tears that had welled up as Aemond spoke, his words like a balm for her soul. Cupping her hands on either side of his face, she pressed their foreheads together.

"I cannot make great speeches or declarations of love. Nothing to compare with such beautiful words. But I can tell you that there has always been good in you Aemond, perhaps more than most for it is there in spite of the all the pain and grief you have had to carry with you. When I feared a tyrant you were gentle and patient. When you saw my distressed at a mere spider, you did not hesitate to step in even though you were a prince and I only a handmaiden. It might have seemed only a small act of kindness to you but from that moment onwards I saw the goodness in you and I loved you for it. My heart is so full of love for you that I think I had better call it yours than mine." 

Aemond pulled away enough so that he could place a tender kiss upon her brow, cupping the back of her head and pulling her back to rest against his chest.

"I love you, my heart. Never doubt it again."

Y/N nuzzled her face contentedly into Aemond's shoulder. "I will not." While Y/N didn't think that her nightmares would suddenly dissappear, she had hope that in time they would. And until they did, she knew Aemond would always be there to pull her from them and calm her fears.

Aemond began to stroke his fingers through her hair, untangling the mess she'd inadvertently created with her tossing and turning. It was soothing and under his gentle touch she felt her eyes turning heavy. Aemond's voice sounded distant as her tiredness overcame her.

"Sleep, little one. I'll take up my sword and fend off the bad dreams should they come again." She smiled at her husband's playful jest, having missed such light-hearted interactions between them, then quickly succumbed to sleep.

Y/N looked up from the dress she'd been adding lace cuffs to at Jahaera's request as Aemond entered their chambers, an energy and excitement lighting his features she had not seen for what felt like an eternity.

"I have a gift for you, my darling. I do not know that you will like it but I hope you will."

Intrigued and feeling a spark of excitement to match her husband's, Y/N rose to meet Aemond, where he was setting a long and thin metal box on a side table. Coming to stand by him, she looked over his shoulder curiously, though the box gave nothing away.

"What is it?"

Aemond smiled softly at her, motioning towards the box.

"Take a look."

Y/n stepped forward to trail her fingers over the box, carefully removing the lid to find an ornate dagger with an opalescent handle that appeared to be shaped like a dragon. She gazed in awe at the eye of the dragon, which was inlaid with a small glittering sapphire.

The blade was undoubtedly beautiful, but she wasn't entirely sure what Aemond intended her to do with it. Her confusion must have shown on her face, for Aemond quickly took up the blade, balancing it on one hand and then twirling it between his fingers so fast she almost lost sight of it.

"This dagger is light, almost weightless and easily handled. I do not ever intend to leave you unprotected again, but I had hoped it might make you feel safer when I cannot be with you. The sapphire is cut from the same one I bear, so you can always feel that I am with you in some way." He seemed suddenly sheepish, younger somehow, as if worried he'd overstepped or that she did not like his gift.

Y/N quickly moved to assuage his concern, smiling brightly up at him.

"It's beautiful, Aemond. Will you show me how to use it?"

Aemond gifted her with a broad smile of his own at the positive reaction to his gift.

"Of course, my love. Though be careful, the blade is sharp."

Moving around her so he was positioned behind her, he took hold of her hand to carefully position the dagger in hers. Shifting closer so she could feel his breath against her cheek, he placed his hand over the top of hers.

"You grip the handle like this and weild it like so..."

He brought her hand up in several different arcs that Y/N found difficult to follow as she was more focused on his proximity and his arm around her, findjng herself simply looking at him over her shoulder. Aemond seemed to notice her distraction, averting his gaze from the dagger to her face, more specifically her lips. He loosened his grip, stroking her hand and the length of her arm. Y/N felt that each day was becoming easier for her, her nightmares becoming less frequent and she almost felt as if she had returned to her past self. But she had noticed that while Aemond was most attentive to her, always supportive and more than willing to comfort her in her darker moments, his touches were always chaste and he no longer looked at her with the same desire he once had. But the way he was looking at her now, she thought he might crave her touch as she much as she did his, and she slowly tilted her head to brush her lips against his. A loud knock interrupted her train of thought and she shrieked as her grip loosened and she dropped the dagger. Aemond quickly dove to catch it before she could accidentally stab herself, turning to the young squire opening the door with a stormy look, teeth gritted in annoyance.

"What?"

"The king requests your presence, my Prince." The squire shuffled about nervously under Aemond's glare. Turning back to her, Aemond brought her hand to his lips before following the boy from the room. Y/N couldn't help but feel a little deflated.

Y/N had read the same page at least thrice, as she kept peeking over the top to stare at her husband as he removed his tunic and shirt to prepare for bed. She felt her cheeks blaze as he caught her gaze, never fully having lost her natural shyness. Aemond only looked concerned, hurrying over to her to press a hand to her forehead as if checking for a fever. "Are you well, my love? You look a little flushed." Y/N only sighed in frustration, standing and placing her book on a table so Aemond's arm dropped back to his side, a look of hurt crossing his features.

"Do you not want me to touch you?"

"Not like that." Y/N murmured barely above a whisper. Though of course he heard her all the same, his eyebrows pulling together in confusion

"I don't understand."

And before she could stop them, words came tumbling out. All of her fears and her anxieties spilling forth as if they could no longer be contained.

"Like you need to fix me. You only touch me to check my temperature or hold me when I wake in the night from my nightmares. You never kiss me anymore, and you act as if the slightest touch will break me. Do you not want me anymore? In the way a husband desires his wife."

Aemond's eye was wide, his mouth parted open in surprise at her outburst, which almost made her feel ashamed. But she could no longer keep her feelings secret to spare his. He took a step towards her, then another, approaching her slowly, carefully.

"I did not know that my advances would be welcome. Not after all that has happened, all I have done and all of the pain I have caused you. Do not mistake my caution for a lack of desire."

Coming to a stop in front of her, Aemond cupped her face between his hands. And then she saw it. The glint of longing in his eye that matched her own.

"It was torture thinking you would never forgive me, never love me again. And when you did I was terrified one mistep would cause you to change your mind or that it would distress you. I was thinking of you and you alone, my dearest love." And after a moment of silence, he smiled down at her, a tinge of vulnerability visible that had too oft been concealed with a marked guardedness. "Of course I want you."

"I want you too." Y/N sighed, a shudder going through her as Aemond began to trace his fingers up her arm, painfully slowly, his touch feather light.

"Good".

And then he was kissing her wildly, fervently, everywhere he could reach. Her jaw, her throat, her collarbone, continuously returning to her lips, all the while gently pushing them backwards towards the bed. When she felt the backs of her knees hit the frame, he pressed her down onto the sheets before climbing on top of her, mindful of his weight. Y/n gasped as he pressed his lips to the top of her breasts at the neckline of her dress, all the while reaching a hand down to drag her skirt up to her hips. his touch wasn't soft now but almost frantic, his kisses harder each time as he pressed his lips to hers with a fierce intensity. He whispered quickly to her in high valyrian, and she had a vague notion that he was calling her beautiful, telling her that he loved her.

Pulling away suddenly, their heavy breaths mingling together under their proximity, Aemond looked into her eyes with a strange mixture of seriousness and need. "How much do you like this dress? I can be careful if you wish it." By the way his fingers were trailing over the fabric, as if he were itching to remove the last few layers that separated them, Y/N already knew Aemond's preference.

"It's not one of my favourites."

Aemond needed no more encouragement, gripping the fabric bunched up at her waist in both hands he ripped it clean in half, the sound making Y/N blush as he pushed the torn remnants aside to leave her in just her slip and corset.

"I will have another made for you that you prefer."

Y/N giggled, pulling the the eye patch from her husband's face as Aemond returned his lips to trail down her throat, hitching one of her legs around his torso and trailing his hand up the sensitive skin on the back of her thigh.

"I will hold you to it." Y/N teased, running her hands through Aemond's hair and down his back as he hummed appreciatively.

Aemond paused for a moment, his face buried in the crook of her neck and his voice came out in a whisper.

"I love you."

Y/N wrapped her arms around Aemond's neck, holding him to her and stroking his hair. "And I love you "

Aemond raised his head to mould their lips together again, Y/N arching into him to deepen the kiss, feeling that no more words were necessary. They belonged with one another and if Y/N could wish for anything it was that they would never be parted again. 

Y/N felt her heart swell at the sight of her husband playing with his niece Jahaera. Helaena seemed unconcerned as Aemond threw her daughter up into the air, the little girl giggling in delight, and caught her up in his arms, only continuing to work on her beetle embroidery.

"Time for bed little niece. The hour grows late."

Jahaera pouted stubbornly, causing Aemond's lips to quirk up in amusement.

"I'm not tired. I don't want to sleep."

"Before long only the owls will still be awake. You must go to sleep now little love. Unless I'm wrong and you are an owl I've mistaken for my niece?"

Jahaera laughed at her uncle, though she allowed him to scoop her up and carry her over to her cot.

As Y/N watched Aemond's affectionate interactions with Jahaera, she thought he would make a loving father one day. She hoped he'd agree as judging by the lateness of her blood that month she might have to test her theory sooner rather than later.

@zoetje2004 @jjkysnk @ieieibhibu8 @skymoonandstardust @truly-abysmal

@idonotknowenglish @leonesimp @hyacinthesiss @nanawaffles @callsigncrushx

@bitchyfestivalbouquet @void21 @sapphiresandferrari @pinkykats-place @misspinkonmars

@ateliefloresdaprimavera @superintenseart   @youknownothingjohnwatson @lportes-22 @sakurachan-9

[hugshughes]

Summer Child C. Loveland

Colston Loveland x fem!Minter!reader

synopsis - When it's announced that Coach Minter is leaving Michigan, it heavily affects his eldest daughter's life. Especially since her boyfriend is a returning tight end for the Wolverines.

wc - 5k (CONFUSED NOISE????)

contains - UNEDITED SORRY! angsty :(, cursing, kissing, cuddling, crying, shouting, lying. people are mean to reader about it. mentions of a car accident! NO DETAILS!!! it's just a flashback!!! comfort (colston is the boyfriend of the year) heavy family issues, feelings of betrayal. it's kind of giving a found family moment? OHHHH COLSTON BEING HOT AS FUCK STICKING UP FOR READERRR, mentions of hickies? can we pretend that it was announced in like a month or so? cause in this universe CURRENTLY (January 28th) Colston like JUST asked reader to be his girlfriend. so maybe this was announced in late March? WORK WITH ME THANKS.

an - well shit writing this was kind of sad. THE TIMES TABLES DURING A PANIC ATTACK IS LIKE ACTUALLY ME. i had one at a party (so fun of me yes) in October my boyfriend sat with me and asked me times tables to calm me down. IT WORKS FOR ME EVERY TIME OKAY? ALSO do u guys realize that whenever Minter!reader calls Colston "Lovey" it's because 1. Loveland is his last name, and then 2. he's her love. IT MOSTLY STARTED BECAUSE OF HIS LAST NAME THEN MORPHED INTO HIM BEING THE LOVE OF HER LIFE. THATS WHY ITS CAPITALIZED WHEN OTHER TERMS OF ENDEARMENT ARENT!

-

you see all the flowers in the weeds.

Your phone rang loudly on your nightstand. Who was calling you so early? It was only 6:10 in the morning as you made your way from your bathroom, quickly grabbing your phone. Colston. What was your boyfriend doing calling you at this time? You slid to answer the phone, a large smile on your face.

"Hi Lovey, what are you doing calling me this early?"

You heard a sigh exit your boyfriend's mouth, your smile leaving you. Something was wrong.

"You don't know, do you?"

"What? What are talking about, Colston?"

"Look at Instagram."

You rolled your eyes, putting the call on speaker before sliding it away, opening Instagram. The screen reloaded before displaying an update post saying your dad was done with his time in Michigan. What?

you're scared of the dark when you sleep.

"No. He would've told me. No way, how do you know?"

"We just got off of a team call with him."

Your heart dropped even further than it had before. Not only was your father leaving, he hadn't even bothered to tell you. Your stomach was forming a pit, you didn't know what to think or do. You realized Colston might be upset with you, jumping to protect yourself.

"You know I didn't know about this, right? I can't believe he didn't tell me. I just- I don't even know what to do right now."

You felt tears in your eyes, why didn't he just tell you? You inhaled shakily. What the fuck? Your dad had touched on the subject of him possibly leaving Michigan to follow Jim, but didn't ever make a firm decision with it, not whenever you were around. Your whole family didn't tell you. You couldn't believe your dad, but even more so your mom, because you thought the two of you were supposed to be best friends. Obviously not.

you cover up your arms with your sleeves, even in hundred degree heat.

"Hey, yeah it's alright. I know baby, I trust you, okay? Are you okay?"

"I don't- I just, why didn't he tell me? He was acting like he wanted to stay. I mean, I don't care that he's leaving, why did he lie about it? He had to have made his decision weeks ago. What the fuck?"

You ran your fingers through your ponytail, you felt your usual front of nonchalance breaking. You swallowed hard, desperately trying to wipe the tears before they could fall down your face.

"Woah, baby, hey. Breathe, pretty. I'll be there in a second. 'M leaving right now. Just sit down and breathe, baby."

You nodded, sucking in a tight breath, mumbling out an agreement. You felt like you were having a panic attack, but it was different than normal. Usually your thoughts went a mile a minute when you had one, but it was like your mind was blank, like everything shut down.

You hung up the phone, two minutes ago you were perfectly oblivious brushing your hair. And now you were sitting on the edge of your bed with shaky hands and tear lined eyes.

You sat on your bed and stared at the wall, doing times tables in your head to try to distract yourself. You'd gotten up to the 17s by the time you heard your front door open, then fast footsteps to your room. Colston's heart broke when he saw you sitting there, teary eyed and breathing sharply. He quickly came to you, kneeling between your spread legs bringing his hands to your face.

"Hey, gorgeous."

You giggled, knowing you probably looked a mess. Your hair was in a now messy low ponytail with pieces falling and you'd only woken up a half hour ago. You melted into his hold before shakily responding.

"Hi, Colst."

"You breathin' alright, baby?"

You felt your breaths slowing and steadying, nodding at your boyfriend and trying to smile.

When you fully calmed down, you laid back on your bed with Colston while he held you. He pulled the hair tie out of your hair to run his fingers through it.

your father was awfully mean.

You couldn't even fully comprehend the situation. How could your dad not tell you? It made you feel like you were in high school again. During your freshman year, your sister had just been born, and your brother was barely two. Your parents were so focused on them that your relationship with them was severely damaged and strained. They just assumed their fifteen year old would be able to handle herself while they tried to wrangle two babies. They missed a lot that year, and it hurt. It had made you feel like you weren't apart of your own family, you felt too old and too different.

That relationship continued for the next two years, though it had ups and downs. It took until you were a senior in high school for your parents to realize they'd been neglecting you. One night after a football game at your high school you'd gotten into a car accident with your friends. No one was seriously or fatally injured, but you'd fractured your wrist. You sat alone in the emergency room with no way of going home because your parents wouldn't answer the phone. You were still seventeen so they couldn't let you go before a parent or guardian came for you.

You sat being pitifully comforted by nurses for over two hours before your dad called you back.

"Hello? What's up?"

You felt tears pricking in your eyes, the dull ache in your wrist adding to the whirlwind of emotions spiraling through you.

"I'm in the ER. I've been here since 9. Some car t-boned us going through the big intersection after the game. We're all fine, but my wrist is broken."

You let out a shaky breath, you hadn't spoken to your dad too much in the past week. It was football season so he was gone a lot, and there were also three children five and under running around your house all the time. You sighed as you looked down at the dark green cast on your forearm, hoping you could somehow wish yourself out of existence.

your favorite color is green.

"Oh shit, what? Sorry baby, I've been at the stadium all night. Did you call mom?"

"Only twenty times."

"She's probably been dealing with the littles. But what's going on? Are you alright?"

"I mean yeah, it hurts but whatever. I can't leave until one of you gets here. You have to sign some papers, I don't know."

Jesse Minter didn't know what to do. He felt like the worst dad.

"Well um, I'm leaving the stadium now. I'll call mom, if she answers I'll tell her to head there, since she'd be there faster than I can. I love you, sweetheart. Okay? I'm sorry, baby."

"It's whatever, dad. Love you too."

You hung up, sitting back in the uncomfortable waiting room chair, eyeing the brace on your wrist. You told the nurse someone would be there soon, and she nodded with a sad smile. Your dad showed up almost forty minutes later, giving awkward smiles as the ER staff gave him dirty looks. You felt so embarrassed. Your parents don't care enough to pick up the phone.

That night was rough, though it was technically the next morning when you got home a bit after midnight. Your dad informed your mom of what happened while you sat grimly on the couch, your legs pressed to your chest.

Your mom had a rough night with the littles, and hadn't had any time to check her phone before she fell asleep. You had felt like a stranger when they sat across from you on the ottoman. They apologized over and over, that night had come as a realization for the two of them. They'd realized that you were still growing up, that just because you were so much older than your siblings didn't mean they should feel good leaving you by yourself. You sat still as your mom hugged you for a while. You'd completely forgotten the comfort it was to be held by your mommy, it made you feel little again. You cried a lot, though the people pleaser inside of you still tried to tell your parents you were fine, what they did was fine. It wasn't. And you weren't.

it reminds you of the summer you turned three, running through sprinklers on your street.

Since then you'd been closer than ever before with your parents, especially since your dad started coaching at Michigan the same year you started. But this situation, it made you feel like all the progress had been pulled out from under you. It felt like you were still sitting in that waiting room.

You fell asleep in Colston's arms as his warm hands ran up and down your back. He didn't worry knowing today, Monday, both of you had no classes or anything else. Your mom called you while you slept, so Colston took the liberty to answer it.

"Hey, this is Colston."

"Oh, hi hun. Is she alright? I know it's not right but Jess just didn't know how to tell her."

Colston looked down at you, brushing hair from your eyes before replyig to your mom.

"She was not very good earlier. She had a panicky thing about it. But she fell asleep a while ago."

Panicky thing. That's what you'd always called them. Your moms heart ached but melted at the way Colston was taking care of you.

"She's not as upset about you guys leaving as she is about not knowing."

Your mom sighed, she knew her little girl. Jesse had begged her to let him tell their eldest daughter, but he couldn't get the courage. Sometimes even forty year old fathers are frightened by their nineteen year old daughters reactions.

Colston heard faint talking in the background of the call. 'Is that her?', and 'No it's Colston. Yes he's taking care of her. Yes she's upset, Jess.' Colston couldn't help but be upset with your parents, they knew this would hurt you, and they still let it happen.

Colston said a few more things to your mom, as politely as he could before ending the call, snuggling back into you and falling asleep.

You woke up groggily, with a headache. You immediately noticed the sleeping tight end beneath you, warming your heart, even if for just a moment. You grabbed your phone, checking the time. It was just past noon, you'd been sleeping for a while. You saw texts from your mom and dad, groaning internally. All you wanted to do was power off your phone, throw it in a drawer, and go back to sleep with your boyfriend. But, you knew you had to talk to your parents. You shifted out of Colston's gentle hold, silently leaving the room until you heard his voice behind you.

"Baby? Where are y'going?"

and you laugh, and you dance in the wind.

You turned to see him. He looked so warm and comfy, the sight beckoning you back to your bed. You fought off the temptation, sticking to your mission.

"I have to talk to my parents, Lovey."

He nodded, shifting around to get comfortable again without you.

"I love you, gorgeous. I'll be right here if you need me. Believe it or not, I feel prepared to be rude to your dad in your honor."

You faux gasped, a light laugh leaving your mouth. Although, it was rather adorable. You knew how much your dad usually intimidated Colston. Him willing to get on his bad side for you was insanely sweet.

"I'll be back soon."

Colston gave you one last wink before you left the room, settling on the couch as you started looking through the messages you'd recieved.

and you sway, and you hug, and you kiss.

Apologies, requests to talk, more apologies. You sighed, rolling your eyes. You called your dad, and there were barely two rings before he answered.

"Hey, sweetheart."

"Hi."

You felt a pit in your stomach over the silence that began looming. You felt the trust in your father that had finally regrown over the last two years being taken from you.

"I'm sorry."

"Well I'd hope so."

You were starting to feel angry, the longer you sat there in silence, the more you felt your sadness being buried by malice.

"Why didn't you tell me? That's completely fucked! You were talking about it like you had no interest in leaving. I don't even care, leave all you want. But don't lie to me! I thought we were all finished not telling each other stuff, I thought you guys were gonna start thinking about how I felt. Having to find out from an Instagram post is a low ass blow. How long have you known you were leaving? Is the house for sale? When are you guys moving to Los Angeles?"

Holy shit. You'd never snapped at your dad like that. Jesse Minter was confounded, he had finally pushed you to your limit, and the aftershock was brutal.

"Baby, please. I couldn't tell you. We feel horrible leaving you here."

"So, what? Were you gonna leave a note on the door for the next time I come over for dinner? 'To our daughter, sorry, we left, we live in Los Angeles now. Was nice knowing you!'"

"No! No, we were gonna tell you soon but then I found out yesterday I had to tell the guys this morning. You were supposed to know before everyone else."

"That's not true. You've known since the championship, haven't you? Obviously the coaching staff knew! I can't believe you and mom. How long have the kids known? How long has it been a 'little secret we're keeping from sissy'?"

You waited for answers, any answers. Answers that your father stuttered out, guilt lacing every word.

"Yes. Me and Jim talked about it a couple days after the championship. I've known that if the opportunity came up I'd go for a while. I'm sorry, baby. I know it's bad. There's no excuse I could make to make it alright. I just want you to know that I'm sorry, and I love you. I wish I had talked to you about it, seriously. I just truly didn't know how to tell you, it's gonna be really hard for me to leave you here. You're my girl, my baby. But I know that you have so many people here that love and take care of you."

Your anger was slowly dissipating, the overall sadness coming back to you. You'd be without your family within an hour of you for the first time in your life. That was so scary.

but there's darkness behind those eyes.

You weren't truly angry with your family, you were afraid to be without them. If you knew you would've told him to go and live out his dreams. You were just scared to drift from them.

After talking to your dad a little longer, then to your mom for a while, you hung up the phone.

You felt tears prick in your eyes as you pulled your knees to your chest, wrapping your arms around them. You took a few deep breaths, trying to figure out how you were gonna do this without them. You knew deep down everything would be okay, but that didn't stop the voices in your head from making you scared.

You heard light footsteps before seeing Colston peek his head around the archway. His eyes immediately softened seeing your position.

"Hey, coach. What's up, baby? You feel any better?"

You shrugged as he came to sit by you, sucking in a deep breath. His hand ran up and down your back, soothing you. You tried to give him a smile, but you still looked pitifully sad.

even when you smile.

"I don't know, Colst. It's just scary. My dad got the job here the same year I started here, so my whole family had moved here. I've never been far from them, I know it's immature but I'm scared."

oh, summer child.

"Hey, no. It's not immature, it's completely appropriate. You didn't get the homesickness of leaving your family when you came to college, and now that they're the ones going far away I know it definitely feels worse. Last year when we got here I was scared too. Especially after football ended and my parents weren't flying here every other weekend to see me play. I hated being alone. But, I found people that felt like family. I had the guys, other friends, this one really cute girl that barely gave me the time of day because she was way out of my league and her dad was one of my coaches."

you don't have to act like all you feel is mild.

You laughed, moving to hug Colston. He said the exact words you needed to hear. You thought about the people who filled your cup. Colston was obviously the first person who came to mind. But there were also all your other amazing friends, your best girl friend, a couple other football players, the group of girls you loved, and so many more.

"Thank you for taking care of me, Colston. I don't say that to you enough. My dad said on the phone that it was gonna be hard to leave me here but he knew there were lots of people here that love me and take care of me. I know he was talking about you. They love you a lot Colston."

you don't really love the sun, it drives you wild.

Colston was speechless. He felt real good about the fact that your parents felt comfortable to leave you in his care. They knew the extent of his love for you, and were in awe of just how perfectly he treated you. The princess treatment they knew their daughter deserved.

He squeezed you tighter, leaving a kiss on your neck.

"I love you, so 'm gonna take care of you. You mean more than anything t'me."

You mumbled the three words right back, holding him tightly.

you're a lying summer child.

-

You're laying in your bed. It's almost 8pm on Friday night and all you've done is rot since you got home from classes in the late afternoon.

It's been a couple days since finding out about your dad leaving. It's been a rough couple of days. You hadn't seen Colston since that day you found out, you were both so busy, and he'd had a large mix of practices, trainings, and physical therapy appointments over the last few days.

Colston texted, making you smile. He'd asked if he could call you, to which you immediately replied yes. You swipe the answer button the second the call popped up.

"Hi Lovey."

"Hi, gorgeous."

You could hear his smile, he was planning something.

"Would you like to go out tonight?"

"Like bar or date going out?"

"A date, coach, obviously. Can't take you anywhere, too many wandering eyes."

You laughed heartily, if Colston was with you you would've slapped his chest while his hands wandered below your hips. Ugh, is it obvious you missed his touch?

"Shut up, Colston. Thought you said you could fight?"

"Oh, of course I can. Don't doubt that for a second. I just don't appreciate other guys checkin' you out. But to be honest, they can look all they want and still won't be the one 'ya sleep with."

You told him to shut up again, your skin from your chest to your ears flaming. You talked to him for a little longer before he told you he'd pick you up in twenty five minutes, and to dress comfy and warm.

You were donning a large pair a sweatpants and one of Colston's hoodies when he knocked on your door. You opened the door with a giddy smile, immediately pulling him into your apartment.

"Hi baby."

You greeted him right before wrapping your arms around his neck and kissing him. When you pulled away from him, you stepped back and realized you two were practically matching. Grey sweats and a navy Michigan hoodie.

"So you're trying to be me now?"

"Hello, you're in my sweatshirt, and my sweatpants? I'd say if one of us is copying the other, it isn't me."

"Actually these are my sweatpants, so."

Colston immediately turned you around, twisting the waistband of your sweatpants to look at the tag.

"Hm, that explains why there's 'C. L.' in sharpie on the tag."

Oh, maybe they were Colston's.

"Fuck you and your need to label all your clothing as yours."

You scurried away from him and back towards your room, opening your closet to pick out your shoes. You opted for your Ugg slippers, which of course were pretty much the same as the ones Colston had chosen to wear tonight.

One mirror picture of your matching outfits later, you were holding hands as you walked down to the car. It was early spring in Ann Arbor, but it still got pretty chilly in the night.

"So where are we even going?"

You realized you had no clue what you were doing, it reminded you of your first date. The drive in movie he surprised you with sent your heart soaring.

"It's a surprise, I know how much you love 'em."

You rolled your eyes playfully, thanking him as he opened the passenger door of his truck for you, holding your hand as he helped you in. You settled in and put your seatbelt on as Colston went around the hood, climbing in. His hand went straight to kneading your thigh once he'd put the truck in drive. Your wrapped your arms around his, as always pulling up his sweatshirt sleeve to trace over his tattoo.

Now whenever you drove with Colston, you kept staring when he turned to look. You didn't snap your head forward like a nervous tween girl, you'd smile deeply when he caught you looking, mumbling a greeting to him.

You drove for almost an hour, your music of choice playing through the car. Happy Instead by Zach Bryan played as Colston pulled to a stop in a rocky parking lot. You weren't really paying attention to where you'd been driving, but you smiled widely when you turned and saw the Lake Erie sign. He'd brought you to Stoney Point, where date #3 had taken place for the two of you, and now was a place where he took you every so often.

The small parking lot was semi-full, which was unusual, especially for this time of night.

"Know this week's been rough, sweetheart. Thought you'd like to come 'ere."

arent you way too busy, taking care of everybody, to take care of yourself?

You leaned over the center console, taking his face in your hands and kissing him.

"This is great, Colst. Thank you, baby."

You mumbled against his lips, kissing him again before turning to get out of the car. To which Colston reached and grabbed your hand, giving you a look that screamed, 'stay put.' so you did. Colston climbed out, going around the hood before opening your door, giving you a smile as he helped you down and out of the truck.

He held your hand as he guided you to the steps leading to the rocky sand. Once you got over the steps, your eyes immediately were attracted to the large bonfire a little ways down the shore. You saw the group surrounding the bonfire, before furrowing your eyebrows when you realized they were your friends. You turned to Colston, halting in your steps.

"What's going on, baby?"

"Well, we've all been thinkin' about you. We just wanted to hang out and be with you, sweetheart. Everyone's been wantin' to make sure you're okay."

when the sun goes missing, aren't the flowers just as pretty?

Your vision blurred with tears, you quickly turned to wrap your arms around Colston, thanking him repeatedly.

"You're so sweet, Colst."

He just laughed and kissed you, telling you you deserved it before pulling you down the shore. Once your friends caught sight of you, they were all shouting merrily towards you two.

Your best friend ran over, almost tackling you in a hug.

"Hi lovebug! Oh, I missed you so much!"

You felt the tears well up again, hugging her tightly.

"I missed you too, pretty."

aren't the oceans just as deep?

Once she let you go, you made rounds hugging everyone else, smiling especially wide when you saw some of Colston's teammates standing a little farther from the fire.

"Hi ladies."

You giggled as you approached them, JJ McCarthy immediately jumping to hug you tightly.

"Hey! How are you doing?"

"I'm alright, this has definitely improved my overall mood!"

You pulled away from him, going to hug Donovan, Blake, and Will. Colston came over to the five of you, wrapping his arm around your hips as you fell into conversation. You talked with them for a while before being beckoned over to a group of your girlfriends sitting in camping chairs on the opposite side of the fire.

As you walked away Colston's eyes followed you, his heart soaring seeing you smiling so brightly. The voice of Will across from him bringing his eyes from you.

the trees as green?

"Dude, you know we all like her and all. But, do you really think she didn't know about all of it?"

Colston's eyes darkened, his hand subconsciously pulling into a fist.

"What are you trying to say? That's she's lying to everyone? Fuck are you on, man?"

"Whoa, Will. Man, there's no need to be like that. She didn't know, that's why she's been so upset. Minter lied to her about it."

JJ talked Will down while Blake put his hand on Colston's shoulder, telling him to chill.

"Nah, bro. You don't come out here then pull this shit. We know you're fucking pissy he's leaving, don't try to be a dickhead about it. It's not her fucking fault. The only reason I'm not slapping the fuck out of you right now is because she's over there, and you're not about to ruin this for her."

and as for me, i'll watch you weep.

Colston turned and left his teammates, going to see what was up with the couple of hockey players that he'd invited.

You obliviously talked to your friends, smiling and giggling with them. You were pulled into one of your closest girlfriend's laps as you talked to them.

"Okay but seriously, how are you feeling? We felt horrible when Colston texted everyone about this."

"Honestly, I'm fine. I mean, I'm still really upset, but I'll get over it. I think it'll be whatever, I didn't think my dad would stay forever."

They nodded, sending sympathetic smiles your way. You gratefully accepted a Diet Coke from one of your friends as you continued to talk to them about everything. After a while, you got up and mingled with your other friends that were there. Your former dorm mate and the other girls from the old building stood with you for a little bit before you felt your hand being tugged.

You turned and made eye contact with Colston, smiling.

"Hi Lovey,"

You said it quietly, not wanting to interrupt the girls around you. He smiled, rubbing his thumb over your knuckles.

"what's up?"

He shook his head before nodding down towards the water. You nodded, silently following behind him, hands still locked together.

oh, summer child.

He brought you right to where the last dry sand was, the water lapping a dozen or so feet in front of you. You leaned your head against the side of his shoulder, overwhelmed by how warm he was even in the cold of the night. He smelled like how he usually did, the cologne he used called "cosmic cowboy", and the eucalyptus of his shampoo. On top of the usual aroma was a layer of smoke, it danced around in your head until you felt dizzy.

"I love you, Colston. The most."

Your eyes felt heavy as you stared out at the water. The moon was almost full as it glowed over the lake, accented by tiny stars.

"I love you more than anything."

Warmth grew in your stomach, spreading to your heart.

"You know it's okay to be real' sad about this baby? You don't have to act like you're okay, especially not with me. I know how much it hurt you, gorgeous. You don't have to act like you are only ever happy. I don't want you to brush off your feelings anymore."

you don't have to act like all you feel is mild.

He said the words quietly, and full of nothing but love. It was true that you were acting like it didn't affect you like it truly did. That's what you'd had to do since your baby siblings had been born, you'd had to pretend everything was fine, even when it wasn't, you weren't. You turned and wrapped your arms around Colston's waist, his arms immediately enveloping your shoulders. You felt tears prick in your eyes as your forehead pressed against his collarbone.

"Thank you for caring for me. Thank you for always being the one to be there. You don't know how badly I needed you, need you."

you don't really love the sun, it drives you wild.

"'M always gonna be here, gorgeous. Never leavin' you alone. Stuck with me."

"Wouldn't wanna be stuck with anyone else."

You stood there silently, hugging on the shore. You were sure your absence didn't go unnoticed, but you didn't really care. You interrupted the peace with a thought.

"Does my dad leaving mean I can give you hickies now?"

Colston's perfect laugh cut through the soft aquatic air. He pulled away from you just a little, shifting to hold your face.

"That's what you're thinking about? Markin' me up now that your dad won't see?"

"I mean, I've been marking you up where he can't see, so."

One of Colston's hand moved to pat your ass as he pulled you into a intoxicating kiss, earning awes and whoops from your friends up the sand. You decided in that moment that everything would be okay.

you're a lying, summer child.

[zeezelweazel]

something about lottie getting mean towards reader bc reader is giving her the silent treatment after a big fight, and lottie feels like being mean is the only way to get her attention. and they end up having angsty sex ? 🤭🤭🤭

Lottie Matthews| Fool me once, fool me twice|

______________________________________

MEAN LOTTIE OMG

I love reading angsty sex but I've never written it before so I hope it's good. Also sorry this took quite some time

I kinda don't like how this turned out

TW: mild degradation, mentions of cheating, fingering (both receiving), afab female reader

____________________________________________________

The girls knew that having so many couples within the friend group ment that when a fight between them inevitably happens chaos endures. It happens with Shauna and Jackie all the time. Tai and Van too, sometimes. But it was never you and Lottie. You were the sweet couple known for communication and being honest and open with eachother.

But not this time. She was hiding something from you. It was obvious, with the way she seemed to be so set on stopping you from opening the second drawer on her bedside table. You weren't snooping around, obviously not. She told you to find her old necklace and in her words ' it's somewhere in my bedside table '.

She appeared out of thin air when you went to open the second drawer and immediately closed it shut. She looked at you with an expression you couldn't quite place.

"You can't open that drawer."

You were confused. Lottie never got defensive or possessive over anything. Plus you two don't have any secrets... Right?

"Why?"

The conversation escalated into a fight as both of you started yelling. The fight ended with you leaving Lottie's house and slamming the door.

The next few days were more than awkward. You were set on ignoring Lottie even if Van told you time and time again that it was probably nothing. What if she was hiding some other girl's fucking underwear in there?

Lottie decided to give you some space. But after a week you were still avoiding her, not even sparing her a glance much less speak to her.

She was getting frustrated. It was unfair how you expected her to let you in in every aspect of her life. She was acting like a child she knew that much, but she couldn't just sit by and watch you slowly detach yourself from her.

It was probably not the best way to get your attention but it was the only way Lottie could think of. So she started being mean to you. Saying out of pocket things when you were doing absolutely nothing. She had something bitchy to say every time you saw her.

It was getting on your nerves.

The glass spilled during a scrimmage. You hadn't played so well on your last game so you wanted to train as hard as you could. If only Lottie would just shut up. She has a comment for every little mistake that you made. After you missed an easy pass and she straight up laughed at you, you just stormed off the pitch practically running to the locker room.

"Lottie what the fuck?! I don't care if you two broke up or whatever but we're a team. Go and make this right. You won't cone back on this pitch unless Y/N is with you."

Jackie has had enough of your shit. Someone has to get you two to short it out. Lottie grumbled and started jogging towards the locker room.

You had tears of anger in your eyes as you threw your stuff in your bag. You are so done with Lottie fucking Matthews. Next time you see ger in front of you, you swear you'll slap her.

"Hey."

You sharply turned around to meet her eyes. Lottie was awkwardly staring at you, like a child who was forced to apologize by their mom. You scoffed and continued packing your things.

"Oh so now you stop ignoring me."

Lottie was thinking of what to say until she noticed you walking towards the door. She quickly stepped in front of you, her much taller frame completely blocking the door. You look up at her hoping that your glare would be enough to discourage her and make her step away from the exit. Of course Lottie being the stubborn bitch that she is, she didn't budge an inch.

You push her against the wall, your hands tightly fisting the collar of her shirt. Your bodies are pressed together and you swear you can feel her heart beating wildly against your breasts.

You haven't touched her in weeks. Spoken to her in weeks. And yet here you are. Faces only inches away, hands itching to touch and grope, eyes locked together intensely.

It happens faster than a lighting bolt hitting the earth but the scorching heat it leaves behind is all the same. Your lips are crashing together, hot and wet and angry and your hands are returning to familiar territory, on the sides of her neck and her biceps and then they slip under her shirt.

Neither of you pull back, the stupidity of the situation clear to the both of you, instead your panting breaths mix together and fog your brains even more. The hazy atmosphere turns toxic when Lottie takes the liberty of pushing her hands under your bra to find pebbled nipples.

You hiss and gasp under her hands. She still makes you shiver with every touch. You almost melt into her arms but then you remember. How she was being a bitch to you for no reason, how she got under your skin on purpose.

You don't waste any time. Your hand shoves it's way down her shorts and find her wet and desperate. She throws her head back and you almost wince when it loudly bangs against the door.

"Oh, fuck, Y/N."

You missed her. You missed her whines and her breathless pleas and how she clenches around your finger every time you stroke her clit. You missed how she strokes your breast while her hand caresses your inner thigh. How she enters with two fingers because she already knows how wet you are.

Your hands are hurried and your breaths are mingled with eachother. You're both still half dressed and you look at Lottie and you know she's close and you are too. You reach your peak together and your thigs are shaking and Lottie's legs give out and suddenly you're both panting on the floor.

After the lust frenzy dies out you realise that you've just had sex with your girlfriend who's been relentlessly mean to you for the past few days. You glare at her and she awkwardly stares at the ground.

"You have a ton shit to explain Matthews. But first I need a very long apology."

____________________________________________________

[sunflowersandsapphires]

A Brewing Storm

In All The World, Chapter 1.2

Series Masterlist         Next Chapter

pairing: Matt Murdock x fem!reader 

summary: This series of one-shots follows Matt and the music teacher he is steadily falling for, despite her distant familial connection to The Punisher.

warnings: angsty Matthew, Matt and Frank being little shits (mostly Frank), fluff, hints at smut

w/c: 2.3k

a/n: I KNOW THIS DIDN’T WIN THE POLL BUT I WASN’T ABLE TO FINISH THE OTHER FICLET, I’M SORRY! I hope this is a decent consolation prize for you all. The comfort piece should be done by next week! 

There are a few things mentioned in this chapter that I won’t go into unless people are interested but here’s the rundown: Matt and Reader started their relationship after her testimony, though the trial had not yet ended. The ABA code of ethics doesn’t really have much to say about attorneys and witnesses, but the general rule is after they’ve testified (as long as the trial isn’t discussed) they can begin a personal relationship. The ethics rules are much more concerned about lawyers and their clients than witnesses. However, Matt asked her out during proceedings so, in his head, he did something wrong. I wasn’t planning on writing their beginning, but if that’s something you all are interested in, let me know!

Trusting the men to keep their word, you left Frank standing over the door mat while you grabbed some bath towels and a jacket he'd forgotten on your couch months ago. Returning to a room frigid with their disdain for each other, you stifled an eye roll while you passed over the items in your hold. “Here. Dry off if you can. Are you hungry? I can set another place for dinner.”

Matt stiffened from his seat at the table, blowing an annoyed breath out of his nose. Smirking in satisfaction, Frank rubbed the towel over his hair, splattering your floor with leftover rain. “Sure, kid.”

Pretending not to see your boyfriend's twisted frown, you padded over to the stove to scoop the remaining noodles into a clean bowl.

“Ok, it's not much, but I wasn't planning on cooking for three–”

“How long?” Came Frank's curt question.

Running the tip of your tongue against your molars, you blew out a breath, shoving Frank's food over to him.

“Um...”

“Eight months.” Matt answered, chest puffing out ever so slightly. Swatting at him with a glare, you grimaced as Frank gnashed his teeth again.

“For fuck's sake. During the trial?”

“Well, that is how we met.” Matt snapped back, posture rounding as the Devil slipped back into control.

“And you thought what, Red? That you could treat my case like your own personal dating pool? You of all people know how dangerous that was for her.”

“I think we are all familiar with the risks taken last summer.” You retorted, taking your seat at Matt's side, letting your knee brush against his in what you hoped was a grounding touch.

What Frank was insinuating wasn't far fetched. You had run into trouble after coming forward as a character witness, but your relationship with Matt hadn't caused that, your role in the trial had. No matter how much guilt he carried over the incident, your boyfriend was in no way responsible for the actions of the Kitchen Irish. Matt regularly got stuck in his head, castigating himself for giving in to temptation. Despite making it ostentatiously clear that you were interested in him from the moment you met, your self-conscious partner was convinced he’d somehow violated an unwritten code of ethics and manipulated you into going out with him. It had taken months of promises before Matt began to believe that your consent had been honest and voluntary the whole time–his fragile acceptance would surely combust if Frank continued to cast more doubt over the dubious start of your relationship. He didn’t need anyone’s help to make him feel like a monster.

Matt nudged your knee with his in response to your touch, though his expression was stony. You could see his walls going up brick by brick, his confidence waning as someone confirmed his worst fears.

“Are 'we'? Cause I, for one, ain’t dyin’ for you to be bleedin’ out in my bathroom again.” Frank hissed, eyes still locked on Matt as he referenced your previous injuries. “You think she's safe with you? You can’t protect her. Fuck's sake, Red–you're covered in blood at her table right now. She doesn't need to be dragged into your bullshit–”

“Enough.” You snarled, cutting Frank off. Inhaling deeply, you lowered your voice and softened your tone. “Matt, can you give us a minute, love?”

Ignoring Frank's sneer at the pet name, you placed a hand over Matt's knee, rubbing circles into it with your thumb. “Can you wait for me in my room? I'll be right in.”

“I can just go home,” Matt shifted uncomfortably, looking defeated and agonized as he slowly clambered to his feet.

“I’ll only be a minute, love. Don't leave yet please.” You squeezed his hand where it hung limp by his side, hoping that his barely noticeable nod was conveying his true intentions.

You set your jaw, watching Matt stalk into the bedroom before whirling towards Frank who was leaning back in his chair, arms crossed, looking all too pleased with himself. “What the fuck is wrong with you, Frank?”

“There ain’t nothin’—”

“Nope, it's not your turn yet.” You bit out, cutting him off. “I'm not unhappy to see you, because it means you're still breathing, but you have some damn nerve coming into my house and speaking to my boyfriend as if I'm not in the room. I am not an object, nor am I anyone’s property. You do not get to dictate what is or isn't good for me, regardless of how you feel about it.“

Frank winced slightly, but he didn’t make any other indication that your words were getting through his thick skull.

Sitting back in your seat, you clasped your hands in your lap. “I appreciate you looking out for me, Frank. Lord knows you've saved my life more times than I can count, but Matt is good for me. Your views on our start and on him as a person won't change that.“

Frank scoffed, rolling his eyes to the popcorn ceiling. You grit your teeth. “Alright, if you want to be pissed, that's your prerogative. I'm sorry you didn't find out about us directly from me, but I refuse to accept full responsibility for that because you haven't responded to me for months. You don't get to just pop back into my life when it's most convenient for you.”

The towering man didn’t respond. Fine. If he wasn't in a headspace to hear what you had to say, then you were done talking. Stretching over to a nearby cabinet you pulled out a tupperware and tossed it to him. He caught it without glancing up.

“Have a good night, Frank. Text me if you ever decide you want to listen. And take that food home with you or I will be obligated to hunt you down.”

Using the seat of your chair to leverage your weight, you stood up and paced away from Frank, crossing your fingers that Matt was still in the bedroom when you reached it.

Matt’s hearing was powerful enough to register conversations a block away, let alone one room over, so ignoring the voices beyond your bedroom walls should’ve been difficult. However, Frank’s implications had worn him down, rehashing a mess of anxiety and spurning his feelings of unworthiness. If you hadn’t asked him to stay, he would’ve gone back out to find a distraction lurking in the city streets before passing out on any surface in his apartment. Instead, he lay in your bed, coiled in a ball beneath the sheets, drained of energy–feeling small and useless.

Frank apparently didn’t have much more to say because it was only minutes before he heard you approaching the closed door obscuring him. Your footfalls were light, as always. You did whatever you could to make his existence easier. It was one of the many reasons he loved you. 

Your heartbeat grew stronger as you entered, leaving the door open only briefly in an effort to preserve the hideout Matt had taken shelter in. Gently crouching until you were seated on the mattress, you curled your body around Matt’s–shielding him from the abundance of sensory input and surrounding him with the subtle scent of your body wash. It was warm and sweet, comforting like the brief whiff of sugar you smell when walking past a bakery. A stark contrast to the harsh remnants of gunpowder and leather drifting in from Frank’s now abandoned seat. 

“How much of that did you hear?” You asked, tracing over his prickly cheek with a finger. 

“Bits and pieces.” Matt exhaled roughly. “Did you want me not to listen?”

“Sweetheart, I would never ask that of you. That’s not really something you can control when we’re twenty feet away.” Turning his head into your touch, Matt placed a gentle kiss on the pad of your finger. You took a moment to study him, heart clenching at the weary expression on his face. His posture was tight, you could tell he was holding back. “C’mere, lovely.” 

At your prompting, Matt’s blank face twitched, his sorrow peeking through as he shifted on the mattress.

“I’m sorry I let him in.” You murmured, threading your fingers into Matt’s hair as he wriggled until his face was squished into your stomach. “I should’ve forced him to calm down, or take it out on me. It wasn’t fair to subject you to that.” 

“I’m a big boy. I can handle it.” Matt chuckled breathily, the sound coming out choked with emotion. 

“I know, handsome. But that doesn’t mean you deserve to be screamed at over a misunderstanding.” Sliding down until Matt was resting against your chest, you tucked his head under your chin, wrapping him in an embrace. He hummed against you, not trusting himself to speak on the matter.

“Matty, you do know that what he said was complete and utter horseshit, right?” Your blunt question made him snort, the noise muffled against your collarbone. “No, I’m serious. He was mad that we caught him off guard, so he said that crap to get under your skin. Classic Frank tactic. He did the same shit when we were kids.”

“Did he really?” Came Matt's amused question.

“Oh yah. He’s damn good at it too. The day I knocked him off the Dig Dug leaderboard at our local arcade, he told me I was adopted. My parents were FURIOUS to hear he’d let that cat out of the bag.” You laughed, your nose crinkling as you pictured Frank hanging his head on your family’s tattered leather couch as he got chewed out by your dad.

Matt made a mournful noise, pressing impossibly closer. Rubbing his shoulders with a flat hand, you kissed his crown. “But, the next week, he took me back to the arcade so I could show him how I did it. And when the dude running the candy counter made a sexist comment about how I shouldn’t even be there, Frank forced him to apologize.” 

“What’d he do? Shoot him?” Matt asked dryly. 

“Just a stern talking to. With his fists.” You joked, pinching Matt’s waist. His lips tickled your skin as he smiled. 

“Moral of the story is: Frank speaks without thinking sometimes, just like the rest of us. And he tends to be protective of the people he cares about, myself included.” Sliding your hand beneath Matt’s shirt, you cradled his waist tenderly, drawing delicate patterns with your thumb. “You have that in common.” 

“A talent for lashing out?” Matt quipped. 

Ignoring his attempt to deflect, you continued. “You want to protect me.”

“Apparently, I’m not as good at it as I thought.” Matt remarked icily. 

“Yes. You are.” You poked him, tone stern. “You protect me and the rest of Hell’s Kitchen every day, regardless of what Frank thinks. You are an amazing man and a wonderful partner, and I wouldn’t trade what we have for anything, love.” 

“I love you.” Matt whispered reverently, feeling his insecurities beginning to subside. You always had that effect on him. Your melodic voice and persistently kind nature acting as a life preserver when his own mind seemed determined to drown him. 

“And I love you, Matty. All of you. Always.” Cupping his chin with one hand, you drew him towards your face, pecking his lips lightly. “Why don’t I help you change out of your suit so we can shower? If I’m tired, I know you’ve gotta be wiped out.”

Smirking, Matt cocked his head at you—his confidence finally reappearing after the disaster of a night you’d had. “Are you trying to get me naked, sweetheart?”

“Desperately.” You muttered, trailing a finger over the waistband of his pants. “I have not seen nearly enough of you today.”

“It must be so difficult for you,” He lamented, flopping flat on the mattress with a sigh. “Not seeing your partner.”

Snorting out a laugh, you shoved his chest playfully. “Both of us know that is not what I meant.”

He chuckled, fingers of his left hand loosening the knot of rope around his other wrist.

“Let me,” You suggested, cradling Matt’s dominant hand with both of your own, rotating it and unwinding the cord with a gentle tug. As the dirt and blood stained material fell from Matt's arm, it revealed a crisscross pattern of reddened indents in his skin—angry from being bound by the woven line for so long. Tutting in sympathy, you bent forward, kissing the marks gently before releasing your hold.

Without speaking, you tangled your fingers around his other arm, inching one finger beneath the rope, repeating the motions until he was free of them. Trailing another line of kisses down his arm towards his palm, you smiled triumphantly.

With two fingers, you pried the hem of his shirt away from his sweaty abdomen. ”May I?”

Matt nodded, a lopsided smile hanging on his lips as he arched his back off the mattress to allow you to remove his top. Rolling the fabric up and over his head, you dragged your nails up his spine, grinning at the soft whine you got in response.

“Feel good, Matty?”

He opened his mouth to respond, but the sound dissipated into a moan when you licked a stripe over his pulse point.

“How about I mark you up this time, hm? Take care of you first for once?”

Matt rumbled beneath your lips with a small moan, his head falling back as he arched off the mattress. 

Giggling, you dragged your teeth over the pulsing vein in his neck, provoking a soft mewl in the back of Matt’s throat. “C’mon, sweet boy. Let’s get you cleaned up.”

Leaping from the bed, Matt flew after you, snatching you by the waist and locking your lips together as you clumsily stumbled toward the bathroom. 

Taglist: @marytheweefrenchie @cheshirecat484 @siampie @xxdrixx @gracethyomen @abucketofweird @ignore-mp3 @silas-aeiou

[itsabouttimex2]

AAAAAAA hey I'm the anon who sent that ask and I love the monsters you've picked for each character in the Monkie Glaive AU!! Sun Wukong being a Rajang immediately made me think of the other pilgrims and what sort of monsters they could be in this crossover (Rajang Sun Wukong paired with a Kirin Ao Lie is... a very angst-charged idea that would be a really interesting dynamic too, for example... Sun Wukong tapping into his lightning powers after consuming Ao Lie's horn as some sort of sacrificial last stand between sworn brothers would be a hella angsty idea...).

Also it's kind of interesting to think of how the journey would be like in this AU — Tang Sanzang would be kind of a monster tamer, in a way? Or would the journey not happen at all? He's living the dream Monstie Rider/Tamer MHS life lol

How does the main character 'Monkie Kids' squad work like in the AU (as in, MK, Mei, Pigsy, Tang & Sandy)? Are all of them human? How does Y/N get inserted into the fray?

Sorry for asking so many questions! You can delete this ask if it's too annoying ^^;

Monkie Glaive

The Pilgrims and LBD

Ok, to start off with- Wukong eating Kirin!Hybrid Ao Lie’s horn for a power-up is such a genuinely good idea that I’m actually sad I didn’t think of it myself- but I’m making it canon now because it’s too good of an idea to waste.

(Especially given it’s the second time he’d lose someone dear to him in this AU. Technically three, because he loses Macaque twice)

Also, it works even better considering that Wukong’s “final foe” in his past is the Lady Bone Demon, instead of the Demon Bull King (who remains a sort of ally)- and she definitely wasn’t the sort of person he could defeat alone.

And, unlike canon… he actually killed her.

So, what kind of monster was the Lady Bone Demon that could be so dangerous that Tang Sanzang would allow Wukong to kill her?

A Shagaru Magala- who bear with them a powerful, frenzying plague that rots the minds and bodies of whoever become infected with it.

How bad is this virulent infection? This about sums up the reaction to contracting it that any being has.

Her plot was to bathe the world in her plague and simply have the infectees destroy it after going mad. (In fact, her first victim was Macaque- twice over.)

So the Great Monk, ever compassionate and merciful… still wished to show her mercy- though, she hadn’t molted yet, and still wasn’t at the peak of her power. She was still a juvenile of her species- a Gore Magala when Sanzang made the plea to spare her.

Despite being sealed away, the Lady Bone Demon molted very soon afterwards, assuming her true aureate form- which gave her the power to break free. Then she went and tracked down the pilgrims for a final all-out fight- that had lethal consequences.

The Lady Bone Demon descends in a shower of infectious gold and black.

She makes her first attack towards the monk- which his loyal pilgrims move to intercede.

One makes it in time, and collapses in a shower of pitch dust and pained tears.

Ao Lie, infected by the Frenzy Virus and losing his mind… tearfully allows Wukong to kill him and eat his horn. So the Great Sage loses a friend to his own hands for the third time, and gains an incredible boost of power.

Sanzang, realizing that his misplaced “mercy” is in part what allowed this to happen, gives Wukong explicit permission to end the fight- fatally.

After a bloody and brutal fight, the Monk takes a moment to hold and soothe his disciple, to tend the Great Sage’s repeating sorrows and well of tears. There’s not much that can be done to calm him- Wukong just has to slowly work through the tears and agony of losing another friend.

(And Tang Sanzang probably has to talk him out of returning his staff to Ao Guang in a fit of sorrow and guilt. Wukong is not in a good headspace through this AU.)

But, unknowingly, Lie’s thunderous spirit is bound to Wukong’s body, an ever-present force that’s always trying to comfort and soothe the simian- not that he can communicate or interact with him directly. He’s just there, hoping that one day Wukong will forgive himself for what’s happened.

———————————————————————-

Tang Sanzang himself is the world’s very first Rider, actually! Instead of beasts, Sanzang treats his disciples as though they were his very own children- which is why they all adore him so much.

He’s especially doting to Sun Wukong, who is very much in a nasty downwards spiral and in need of rehabilitation and therapy. He rarely uses the circlet (which Wukong put on himself and frequently used to self-harm), but acknowledges the need to reign in the simian’s worst aspects.

Sha Wujing is a Lagiacrus, actually! I didn’t necessarily want to add a second thunder element to the gang, but… come on! He’s blue and orange! He’s big and mean! He’s a watery fella! It had to be this Leviathan! I’ll just have him not have access to the lightning element to balance things out.

(But I also seriously considered making him a Coral Pukei Pukei)

It also allows him to be a “big, scary-looking monster that would inspire fear in those around him.

And for Zhu Bajie, I think he’s quite appropriate as a Mosswine- though I had considered making the demon a Poogie! I think being the lazy and gluttonous individual that he is, Bajie might be the sort to lay still for so long that moss grows across his back.

Also, Wukong slowly picking through the moss for bugs? Getting to do a harmless little “simian” thing and engaging in healthy skinship? It’s so good for him.

And, as offered by the incredible commenter above… Ao Lie is a Kirin. I imagine he’s the monster that Sanzang most frequently rides, given his docile nature and placid attitude. He’s still quite clumsy in his human form, but now trip-ups tend to result in Lie sparking off and inadvertently putting quite the light show.

He’s a little insecure about maybe not living up to the majesty and grace that his kind are known for, honestly. And, right up until the very end- Lie is quite nervous about being around Wukong.

(I’ll make a separate post later for the Monkie Kids, just so I don’t clog this up!)

[hollyhomburg]

Hi holly! Quick question about the before I leave you universe. I recently finished the whole thing and have been re-reading the last few chapters obsessively lol. The scene where the OC bites hobi in the space above his heart had me wondering about how mating bites works. Especially with hobi mentioning if he was to do that with anyone it would be her.

I remember hobi saying something like a 7 way mating mark wouldn't work, but I was wondering if more than one still could?

Oooh this is an interesting question that I haven’t gotten asked in a while! In the world of BILY- mating bites are a one time thing, they can’t be undone or taken back. You mate one person one time and that’s it- your souls are linked and you’re done.

In medical terms, what actually happens is that you exchange dna and your immune systems become dependent on each other in a sense, I think biologically in BILY- the thing that makes people have a scent and their immune systems are very tied togeather which is why the m/c smells a bit like yoongi at times. Once a person does- that immune system bond decays rapidly and often causes death in like 9/10 cases.

Not obviously, this isn’t what happened with tbe m/c and geumjae- although it’s worth mentioning that the mating mark in his case never was reciprocated by the m/c. Beta’s also usually don’t give mating bites conventionally in the BILY world- mostly because there are so few of them and because it goes against social construct to do so, yoongi is a special case and in a sense because betas scents tend to be more steadying- the effect a bite has on the bitey can be a bit deeper and more complete. In essence- yoongis bite saved the m/c from the worst part of being mated to someone who is dead- and immune system collapse, part of her ‘sickness’ and non-verbal behavior and lethargy at the beginning of the series is also because of that.

Because of the immune system scent bond, a seven way mating mark would probably be too much for the body to handle like- so seriously too much. Those musings on hobi’s part are just that- musings. He would never be able to mate the m/c- and it would be detrimental to her health so he would never risk it. Sorry to go off on a tangent but! Yeah! I felt like I had to re-explain a bit of the background. The bite she gives him in the chapter is more of a love bite.

(Tw) not that you asked but In the super angsty alternative ending of BILY- I do think that far into the future the m/c does at least try to convince yoongi and the pack to let her undergo an experimental surgery to ‘free’ yoongi of the mating mark and remove it from both of them. Things are already heading south for the m/c at that point and like…maybe jk and jimin are on her side just slightly. Jk because he understand what it’s like to be chronically ill and not want to hurt the people you love with your sickness any longer and the m/c is not getting better no matter the packs efforts. and jimin because he doesn’t want the m/c to be in pain anymore and believes her when she tells him she doesn’t have the strength to keep going.

I don’t think yoongi ever more than entertains the idea, and in a way her pushing for it is probably what eventually leads the pack to compromise and put her into long term psychiatric care.

[adxptusxiao]

1001 doubts - cyno x reader (nsfw)

synopsis: being in a fwb setup with cyno makes you think things deeply, and you don’t want to believe that it’s just pure lust for him.

warnings: not proofread, angsty smut, making out, cyno marking you, fingering, praising, raw sex, a bit of aftercare (lmk if i missed anything!)

i’m coming over.

sorry, cyno. i’m busy today.

i wasn’t asking for permission.

you sigh in annoyance as you stare blankly at this exchange of messages that you had with cyno, to which you wouldn’t bother to reply.

okay, take care.

other than that, you are a living contradiction— your mind and body detached and independent of each other. your mind tells you to stop this self-sabotaging relationship you had with cyno, but your body says otherwise. having sex, not making love—

after all, it can’t be called ‘making love’ if the other party doesn’t love the other, right?

—with someone who isn’t aware of your true feelings for them is just pure torture. you bury yourself under the covers and just close your eyes for a few minutes until cyno arrives at your apartment. you act like this yet your body couldn’t calm down from the thought of what’s about to happen. sweaty palms, erratic heartbeat, shallow breathing.

calm down, y/n. you mentally scold yourself. the thought of you getting excited over something that will be done over lust disgusts you.

at least he finds you attractive.

you were a living contradiction.

“hey, baby.” a familiar voice greets you from above the covers. “i brought you gummy bears.”

i hate that i love how he remembers the small details.

“thank you.” you murmured. cyno puts down the convenience store’s plastic bag on your desk and saunters his way towards you. he carefully removes the covers from you and starts trailing kisses down your neck. “did my beautiful girl miss me? thought you were busy?”

stop calling me that.

“m-mmm…” you hum in approval, your thoughts and your slowly heating body distracting you from being able to respond properly. you dig your nails into his scalp and he groans on your neck, making you shiver.

“you like it when i mark you, hmm? be a good girl and stay still f’ me.” his words make your thighs clench, a pathetic attempt to stop your pussy from drooling. cyno notices this and smirks, still attacking your neck with kisses. his hands travel downwards without wasting any time, and his fingers come into contact with your damp panties.

“spread your legs, baby. don’t want to neglect this needy hole, so fucking wet already.”

you do as you were told and cyno pushes the pad of his finger against your slit. “c-cyno… please put it in…”

“you’re gonna have to be more specific than that, dollface.” cyno enjoys teasing you and he continues to rub your slit and circle your clit over your panties.

“please put your fingers… i-inside me…”

“you’re so good for me, baby.”

cyno pushes his middle finger inside your sopping cunt, pumping in and out until the room was filled with your sloppy noises and moans. after making sure that your pussy can handle another finger, he inserts another one to stretch and scissor you to get you ready for his cock. you couldn’t help but rock your hips towards his fingers in an attempt to feel more of him. cyno loves seeing how desperate you are for his touch, how much of a slut you are for his attention.

“f-feels s’ good—!” you couldn’t speak properly, he fingers you so good. you reach for your perked up nipples and play with yourself, an attempt to chase your orgasm much faster. cyno groans at the sight of you— rubbing and pinching your nipples, pussy dripping around his fingers, and half-lidded eyes seducing cyno to do more.

“fuck y/n, cum on my fingers.” cyno muttered. on his command, you let your body bask in waves of pleasure, your legs shaking with how good he made you feel and your mouth moaning his name like a prayer. “h-haah… cyno…”

“ready for my cock, pretty girl?” cyno removes his shirt, and you always found it so hot that despite his small stature, his body was well-defined— muscles and all. you’re definitely enjoying the view, and cyno knows you do, making him smirk. he removes the rest of his clothes and pumps his already hard dick at the sight of you.

“i want you inside me, cyno.” you plead.

“fuck, you’re going to be the death of me.”

cyno doesn’t let you reply and fills your pussy with his aching cock, desperate to feel your warmth. he grabs your shoulders and mercilessly pounds you and watches your face contort in pleasure, tongue lolling out and panting in unison with every thrust.

“s-so good, cyno! m-more, please! hnnn—!” cyno kisses you sloppily, attempting to hush your moans. your tongues swirl against each other and a thin line of saliva connects you both when cyno breaks the kiss.

“you feel so good for me, y/n… tell me who fucks you like this— haah— hmm?”

“y-you! only you m-make me feel this good!”

“yeah?” cyno quickens his pace, earning a high pitched scream from you. “i’m about to cum, baby girl. squeeze your tight pussy and i’ll give you my cum, yeah? i know this pussy wants to be filled, i-i’ll give you what you want.”

“m-mmm! w-want your cum, cyno! p-please fill me with your cum!”

it takes cyno a few more thrusts as his cock spurts out thick streams of cum inside your pussy, he groans and pumps his cock empty before he slips it out. the sight of his cum gushing out of your fucked out cunt almost makes him hard again. you both catch your breaths, eyes staring at each other conveying unknown feelings.

cyno leans down and plants kisses on your forehead. “you felt so good, baby… i didn’t hurt you anywhere, did i?” cyno coos and praises you, hands caressing your body as you calm down. you look at him tearfully, almost wanting to say yes, but the reason isn’t even connected in this recent session that you had. you shake your head and cyno cuddles you for a few more minutes, stroking your hair and whispering praises that you almost think that maybe he feels the same way as you do.

“you’re mine, y/n…” he whispers. “let’s get cleaned up so we can eat your gummy bears, hmm?”

you smiled at him. i’m yours but you’re not mine.

(anyone up for a part 2 of this? i have something in mind! c:)

[dovveri]

I know this request is soo Y/n-ish but if ever you can read this, please make a fic including Momo and Sana where they are fighting over y/n which is me but I prefer Momo more huehuehueheu thank yah love lotss!!

if i die young

synopsis: you're saved by someone at work that you haven't met before and you quickly become close. your roommate isn't too fond of this though.

warnings: mostly fluff but gets vvv angsty towards the end, mentions of death, implied sex, cursing, cheating but not really if you think about it, heavy grief themes, trying so hard to not giveaway the story in the warnings

w/c: 8.4k

a/n: GIGGLE im pretty sure this is not what anon had in mind but i struggled soooo much w this prompt bcs I CANT DO THAT TO MY BABY SANA but i got this wonderful idea while in the shower to punish anon for sending me this prompt that i agonised over for a literal month that does technically fulfil the requirements 😋 enjoy the read mwahaha (and sorry for any plot holes that may come up- come yell at me in asks i have sm love for this fic and id love to yap abt it if anyone notices anything silly)

♰˚☽˚｡⋆

"y/n right?"

you look up, smiling at the woman who's hovering over your desk at work, nodding in acknowledgement.

"i think the boss was asking for you."

you widen your eyes in embarrassment, scrambling up and grabbing the relevant files, "oh shit i'm so sorry i totally forgot! i'll be there in just a second!"

the woman giggles, "it's okay. i told her my dogs ate all of your work."

you pause, looking at her in horror, "i-i- you what?"

"trust me. she's met my dogs. she'll believe it. your meeting with her has been postponed to next week. i'm momo by the way." she smiles, holding out a hand expectantly.

you're still a little in shock, but you take it, noting the way her hands are soft against yours, she must moisturise. "o-oh. t-thanks i guess..."

momo grins, "see you around y/n."

and then she's off, aloof to her surroundings, you think it's kind of adorable.

you sit back at your desk, still a little flabbergasted at your interaction with the strange girl from work.

♰˚☽˚｡⋆

"sana! i'm home!" you kick off your shoes, placing them in their allocated slot on your shoe rack.

"kitchen!"

you frown, immediately worried when you hear that word. sana's notorious for her clumsy nature. when you first moved in together, it was essentially an unspoken rule that she was not allowed in the kitchen without supervision.

you quickly take off your coat, rushing into the kitchen.

nothing seemed to be off when you walked in, nothing burning, no alarms ringing, no funky smells that attacked your olfactory senses, you can only hope for the best.

"y/n!" sana's bright smile gives you immediate relief. you narrow your eyes, carefully stepping around the kitchen, looking for any signs of anything wrong.

"what are you doing?"

"making sure that everything is supposed to be where it's supposed to be and nothing is broken."

"why would anything be broken?"

once you're finished with your inspection, you turn to sana, zeroing in on her and grabbing her face with your hands, squeezing her cheeks together.

it's kind of adorable when she frowns, pouting and starting to protest, but you shush her, patting her down and inspecting her face to make sure she hasn't done anything to herself or hurt herself in any way.

"okay it seems like we're safe." you let her go but she immediately latches onto you, bringing you into a hug with an airy giggle.

"i'll forgive you for thinking i burnt down our kitchen."

you roll your eyes but return her hug, only breaking away when the doorbell rings.

"i'll get it. go clean up." sana smiles sweetly, patting your butt as she moves around you towards the door.

you roll your eyes, heading into your shared bedroom, taking off your work clothes and changing into a more comfortable set of sweats and an oversized t-shirt.

when you walk back out, you see sana's set up the dining table with takeaway.

"what's this?" you smile teasingly when you sit down.

"i wanted to cook but then i thought about the last time i wanted to cook and i decided to get takeaway for us instead." she grins, "see i'm responsible! can't believe you thought i'd try anything again after last time."

"i scraped some cheese off the ceiling the other day."

"aaaand now there's no more cheese on the ceiling! problem solved!"

you both laugh, and you help her set the table, opening the takeaway boxes and beaming at the smell of tteokbokki.

once you're both settled in across from each other, content with filling your mouths with fluffy rice cakes and spicy sauce, you talk through your days.

"there was this person i've never met before at work today."

"oh?"

"yeah she was a little strange, but she was really sweet. i had forgotten that i had a meeting with the boss today and she made up some excuse about how her dogs had messed with my work and apparently the boss believed it so now i don't have to get my deadline stuff done until next week."

"that's cute. did you get her name?"

"momo i think. sounds japanese, think you know her?"

"what because all japanese people in seoul know each other?"

"i didn't mean it like thattttt!"

sana giggles, "i know i know i'm just teasing. but no i don't know her. thinking about replacing me already y/n?"

you roll your eyes, picking out a fishcake with your chopsticks and popping it in your mouth, "just waiting for the lease to end so i can finally get rid of you actually."

sana feigns offense, "good luck finding someone else who wants to sleep next to your blanket stealing ass then."

"oh you didn't know? now that i'm working a real job i can actually afford to not have to share bedrooms anymore."

"why haven't you done it yet then?"

you blush, stabbing another rice cake.

sana laughs, bright and loud, "you looooooove sleeping with me admit it."

"absolutely not."

"you doooooo you do."

"eat your food sana."

sana's laughing and you can't help but smile. her laugh was always infectious, it was the surefire way to make your day better when you were feeling a little down in the dumps, she was the epitome happiness.

♰˚☽˚｡⋆

it's a few days later when you bump into momo again.

normally you make your own food to bring for lunch but today, sana had woken up sick so you had spent the morning making sure she was okay and calling in sick for her at work.

so now you were stood in line at the cafeteria, wondering just what was taking the line so long to move, your break would probably be over by the time you got to the front of the line at the pace it was going.

"i'm sorry ma'am for the last time you can't pay for your food with vouchers to baskin & robbins! if you don't move along i'll have to call security so please-"

"no you don't understand! i was told that i could use these anywhere when i won them!"

you try peeking over the shoulders of annoyed corporate soldiers and you're surprised when you catch a familiar head of raven black hair at the front of the line.

you quickly push forward, excusing yourself as people look at you in irritation.

"momo!" you call out, shoving aside a 6 foot man with blue eyes that probably worked in the finance sector.

momo turns to you, looking a little frazzled with various coupons in her hands.

"hey! what's up?" you're a little breathless from pushing in line.

she pouts, turning back to the cashier who looks like he's about to start balding from stress. "apparently i can't use these vouchers that i won at drag bingo last week."

you grab the coupons and inspect the terms and conditions. "momo these are only allowed to be used at baskin & robbins."

"but they said i could use them anywhere!"

"at any branch sweetie. not literally anywhere."

"oh... i didn't bring my wallet." she frowns, pocketing her coupons again.

"it's okay i got it." you quickly pay the cashier who looks relieved to finally get the line moving again. you pick up her tray and gesture for her to follow you to an empty table.

"you didn't have to do that y/n!"

you shrug, sitting down and sliding her tray over to her. "it's no biggie. you kinda rescued me earlier in the week anyway. i hadn't actually finished all the work i needed to get done before showing the boss. i woulda come up with some shit excuse for not finishing it so you saved my ass."

"oh don't worry about that. mina and i have been good friends since our days in dance school together, she may be a scary boss but she's a real nerd outside of the workplace."

"oh? i didn't know boss myoi could dance!"

momo happily opens her sandwich, taking a bite and speaking with her mouth full, "you can actually find her on youtube. she was a pretty famous ballerina back in the day. woulda made it big if her parents didn't drag her back to run this company."

"and you?"

"what about me?"

"you dance?"

momo laughs, "yeah. i spend most of my spare time in the studio. unfortunately it doesn't really pay well. i was going to be evicted until mina was sweet enough to offer me a job here so i can afford my rent and continue doing what i love so i owe her a lot. oh speaking of- you weren't able to get any food! here-" she slides over her salad and soup.

"oh no no it's okay-"

"please just take it. it's not much anyway, i'll still have to come up with something to pay you back."

"you know what? those baskin & robbins vouchers. do you have anyone to go with?"

momo looks up at you from her sandwich in surprise, "no i don't."

"you free after work today?"

"i was just going to head into the studio but i could free that up."

"great. i'll see you in the lobby at 5 then. we can head to that store in gangnam, the one where you can taste test like all the flavours."

"really?!" momo's eyes brigten, "i've always wanted to do that but no-one's ever wanted to go with me."

"well perfect! sounds like a plan then!"

you grin at her excitement. you were always a little more than awkward, sana was the one who found it easy to go up to anyone on the street and befriend them. it was a little harder for you to make friends, you were lucky when sana found you interesting enough in your first year of college to strike up a conversation, and then find you interesting enough to keep coming back until you were inseparable and moved in together to save money on rent. you haven't really needed anyone else aside from sana since then, but momo was different, you felt an instant connection with her that you haven't felt since sana. she intrigued you, and you wanted to get to know her better.

♰˚☽˚｡⋆

you're laughing at momo's face when she cringes in disgust.

"eugh what is that? that was disgusting!"

"i think it was like pikachu something something." you manage out between laughs.

"eugh pikachu guts and blood for sure. i never thought pikachu would taste like banana and vomit."

"i can't believe you just ate pikachu! he's such a little cutie surely he can't taste bad!"

"oh yeah? you try it-" she's spooning a bit of the vile yellow coloured ice cream and shoving it into your mouth while you're still vulnerable from laughing.

the first hit of banana on your tastebuds has you coughing immediately. and now it's momo's turn to laugh at you, it's a bright, almost wheeze-like sound, you think it's cute.

"okay yeah- we need to ban the killing of pikachu- this shit should not be served-"

"i'm glad you're on the save pikachu agenda as well then. but there's no way we are finishing that one."

"we don't have to. these were technically free anyway because of your amazing bingo skills after all."

she giggles, "okay but i'm still going to see if we can get replacement flavours. i wanted to try that gone with the wind flavour as well anyway."

you wish her luck as she slides out of the booth, bringing your tray of tester ice-creams with her towards the counter and waving down an employee.

you turn on your phone, scrolling to your messages to find sana's sent you a few unread texts.

bestest friend in the world🐿️💜: u coming home tn?

bestest friend in the world🐿️💜: don't ignore me y/nnnnn

bestest friend in the world🐿️💜: am i eating dinner on my own? 😞

bestest friend in the world🐿️💜: u better be safe idiot if ur not home by 10 i'm calling the police and filing a missing persons report

you laugh a little at her messages.

y/n: don't call the police! i'm fine! i'm just out with that coworker i told u about a few days ago. the one who saved my ass w my boss. i'll be home afterwards don't wait up!

momo's coming back before you can see sana's reply. you slide your phone back into your pocket, grinning at her, "what abomination have you brought back for us to try this time?"

momo places the new tray down, "i kinda forgot most of the names but at least the colour palette this time looks a little more edible."

"really? this neon green looks edible to you?"

"hey! a lotta green flavoured foods are edible! most vegetables, apples, green tea, mint... besides there's no way anything here will be worse than pikachu guts and blood."

you scrunch your nose a little when she slides in next to you, "i wouldn't want to try a vegetable flavoured ice cream anyway."

"you're just a hater." she's grinning when she spoons out a bright pink ice cream and pops it in her mouth.

you scoff, "am not!"

"suuuuuure. i actually know this place that does this incredible carrot ice cream. you can prove you're not a hater if you come and try it with me next week. there's a new branch opening on friday."

"alright. it's so on."

you spend the rest of the night laughing and poking fun at each other. you got along really well with momo, it felt so easy to connect with her. your levels of awkwardness rubbed off on each other perfectly. you enjoyed hanging out with her, and you're glad work seemed a lot less lonelier now.

♰˚☽˚｡⋆

it ends up being really late by the time you get home. momo and you had decided to go for a round of karaoke after ice-cream and the mix of soju and trying to scream to reach the high note in twice's i can't stop me meant you had lost track of time. it was okay though because it was the weekend tomorrow so neither of you had work.

you slip off your shoes in the dark, careful not to make too much sound that could wake sana.

you're tiptoeing into the living room when the lamp light suddenly turns on, and sana's sitting on the couch with her arms crossed.

"you're alive."

you giggle a little at sana looking alike to an evil villain waiting for you to come home. she was much too happy-go-lucky to pull it off.

"what's funny?"

"noooothing."

she frowns, "are you drunk?"

"maaaayyybee."

sana stands up, walking past you and into the kitchen, you follow her like a lost puppy.

"drink this." she pushes a glass of water into your hand, watching you expectantly until you get the message and bring the cup to your lips.

"all of it."

you groan, gulping down the water, and cringing at the fullness you feel in your stomach from all the liquids sloshing around.

sana sighs, rubbing her forehead. "i was worried when you didn't return my texts y'know."

you frown now, realising sana was actually a little annoyed. "i'm sorry. i should've texted you i'd be home late."

she softens, always so forgiving, "it's okay. did you have fun?"

you grin dumbly, nodding, "momo's soooo funny."

"momo?"

"the coworker i was telling you about! she tried to-" you hiccup, "she tried to pay in the cafeteria today with baskin & robbin vouchers and held up pretty much the entire building. i paid instead and we went out and used the vouchers after work, theeeeeen we did karaoke!" you giggle, remembering the day you've had.

"oh..." she's frowning and you can't understand why so you poke her forehead, trying to undo the frown on her face.

"why are you sad?"

"i'm not."

"you're something."

sana rolls her eyes, grabbing your hands to stop playing with her face and leading you towards the bathroom. you're easily distracted, humming a silly tune that's come to mind while she sits you down on the toilet and starts wiping your makeup for the day off. it's a little more complicated when she tries to take your contacts out because you can't stop giggling and blinking but she manages in the end, making you rinse some mouthwash instead of brushing your teeth because she could tell you were falling into the sleepy stage of being drunk.

she's pulling you up and leading you towards your shared bedroom now, putting you to bed and then sliding in next to you, reaching to cover the blanket over the both of you.

you yawn, turning to face her and knock your foreheads together gently, but when you feel the wrinkles still there you open your eyes. "why are you still frowning?"

you can feel her immediately try and relax, "'m not."

"you were."

"ugh just go to sleep y/n. it's late and i'm tired." she's turning around and shuffling away from you which is weird because she was always the one who cuddled and latched onto you before bed.

you miss her warmth immediately, inching towards her and draping an arm over her midriff, entangling your legs and pushing your nose into her hair. "'m sorry."

she sighs against you, grabbing your hands and playing around with your fingers. "it's okay. just don't forget about me yeah?"

"how could i forget about you?"

"goodnight y/n."

you want to ask her more, but you can feel your eyes growing heavier, letting them drift shut, dreaming of ice-cream and cuddles.

♰˚☽˚｡⋆

it became a regular thing.

momo and you would hang out after work every friday, she was quickly becoming one of your closest friends.

one night, when you're spread out on a picnic blanket on a hill a little bit away from the city, counting the stars, she asks you, "are you seeing anyone y/n?"

you look at her surprised, "no. why?"

"why aren't you seeing anyone? surely it's not because no one's asked you out before. you're gorgeous and fun to be around. is it because no one's been good enough?"

you blush a little at the compliments, turning to lay back down and stare at the sky, "i think i just haven't been ready for a long time."

"ready?"

"for a relationship. i told you about my best friend sana right?"

momo hums, coming up on her elbow to peer down at you while you try and make out the various constellations in the night.

"once i found her, it kinda felt like everything was okay, like i never really needed anything more. i know a lot of people centre their lives around romantic love and finding their soulmate and whatever, but i've never been like that. with sana, everything was enough. i felt like if i wished for anything more it might disrupt that."

"is sana seeing anyone?"

you chuckle a little, thinking to sana's past romantic escapades, "she's tried but nothing's really worked out. i think we feel the same in that way. that as long as we have each other we don't really need anyone else."

there's a contemplative silence for a bit while momo studies your face. you let her, comfortable enough with her that it doesn't feel awkward even when it is silent. you connect the stars in your head, smiling when you realise you've made out the capricornus constellation.

"what about me?"

the words are spoken softly into the night, you almost don't catch it, but fate would have it blown softly your way, tickling your ears with the question. "what do you mean?"

"you say you and sana don't need anyone else. how do you feel about me?"

you sit up a little then, leaning back on your elbows as you avert your gaze from the arrowhead-like collection of stars to eyes that shine just as bright. "you're different. you're the first person to come into my life since sana that i've felt... like we were meant to meet y'know? all that soulmate stuff and whatever may be cringey but it's nice to believe in. sometimes i think there are just people that i'm meant to meet, and people that i'm not. and fate brought me you."

momo's leaning forward, her eyes drifting down to your lips, her next few words come out in a whisper, "so if i did this..." her eyes flicker back up to yours, letting you pull away if you wanted to, but you find yourself fixed on her lips as well. so when she closes the distance between the two of you, pressing her lips against yours, just barely there, you sigh into her. the smallest brush of your lips together has you feeling light-headed and hazy, she breaks away from you all too quickly, eyes filled with wonder. you can see the reflection of the night sky in her eyes.

you smile softly at her, lips still tingly from the brief kiss.

"if i did that... would that feel like i've disturbed the equilibrium you've found with sana?"

you shake your head gently, "no. it feels just right actually."

when you lean in again, it does feel just right, like the stars have aligned for this one moment. like everything that's happened to you in life has lead you to this.

♰˚☽˚｡⋆

someone else didn't feel that way.

she's sitting on the couch, up late again. it was becoming more and more often that she would find herself waiting up for y/n to come home.

she hears the telltale sign of the door unlocking and you stumbling in blindly, trying to adjust to the darkness of your apartment and slipping your shoes off to place carefully on the shoe rack next to sana's.

you're kind of expecting sana to be standing there waiting for you when you come back.

"hey sana. i'm home."

"late."

"yeah i was out with-"

"momo."

"yeah..." you rub your neck shyly, heading towards the kitchen to get a glass of water. she follows you wordlessly.

"is something going on between you and momo y/n?"

you raise an eyebrow, swallowing the water in your mouth before answering, "would it be a problem if there was?"

sana frowns, "no but... i just thought you'd tell me is all."

"i do tell you everything sana. every time i come home late i tell you what we've done. it feels like you don't really want to hear it most of the time though."

she pouts, "i do! i do want to know what's going on. i'm sorry i just... i told you i just don't want you to forget about me."

"and i won't sana. i could never forget you, i don't know why you worry about that." you step up to her, cupping a cheek and tilting it up so she's looking at you.

her eyes are slightly shiny and you suddenly feel terrible for making her wait up for you all these nights, "i just- ever since you started hanging out with her, i feel like you've had less time to spend with me. and i know! i knew eventually you'd find someone to spend the rest of your life with i just- i just didn't know it'd be like this and i wasn't prepared and i don't want to lose you yet-"

"woah! woah woah woah slow down! sweetie what? how long- how come you've never told me this before? i've always felt that- and i told momo this- but i've always felt that i never needed anyone else but you! i always thought that we were the ones that were going to spend the rest of our lives together, you're the only one i want to spend the rest of my life with. you'll never lose me sana i promise and momo- look just because i don't need anyone else in my life aside from you, doesn't mean it's that terrible if there is someone else that makes me happy right?"

"but- don't i make you happy?"

"oh baby you do, you do, you make me so happy." you brush a thumb across her cheek, "look how about i set up a meeting for you and momo to meet. it's about time anyway and i really think you'd get along really well if you got to know her."

she sniffles a little, thinking it over, before finally nodding albeit with slightl hesitance.

you grin, pulling her into a hug and she laughs against you, "you better be paying though."

you laugh as well, overjoyed your best friend was going to meet your... anyway, it didn't matter. sana was just happy to hold you and be close to you, letting her anxieties around you fade into the back of her mind.

♰˚☽˚｡⋆

"i'm so sorry momo she promised she'd be here." you sigh in frustration, picking up your phone again to check if sana's replied to any of your messages or calls.

momo smiles kindly, "it's okay. she's probably just caught up in something. don't worry about it!"

"eugh yeah it's just really annoying because we already rescheduled this twice and now she's just not even showing up. wait... do you think something's happened to her? she's not normally bad with replies- oh god what if something's happened-"

"y/n! it's okay! she's probably just somewhere with bad reception right now. i'm sure she'll get back to you soon. should we order first? get your mind off things?"

you sigh, flipping your phone over, not wanting it to distract from the date you were now on with momo. she smiles gently, taking your hand and squeezing.

"yeah that sounds good. have you had a look at the menu yet?" you glance over at the waiter who had seated you, whispering to his coworkers with a sour look on his face, probably from the fact that the two of you have been sat here for almost 40 minutes and only picked at the starter breads and water.

the rest of dinner goes by smoothly. momo is able to distract you from your thoughts about sana and you're thankful for that. being with her was easy, fun. you don't think any of your previous relationships held a candle to momo, and you've only known each other for maybe a month or so.

dessert comes and she's telling you a funny story about how her dog boo had pooped on a guest dancer at her studio and he had to clean it up, only finding out afterwards that his name was also boo. she had apologised profusely and was very embarassed but he was nice about it and had jokingly offered to babysit her dogs anytime.

"speaking of my dogs, i was thinking... do you maybe want to... come over after dinner and meet them?" she's blushing, twirling her fork around and stabbing small pieces of the cheesecake in front of her, eyes avoiding yours.

you beam, "of course! i'd love to!"

"really?" she looks up at you in surprise.

"yeah! i gotta put a face to these little demon dogs you're always talking about."

she whines, "they're not that bad i swear!"

"you know i heard that pets actually take on characteristics of their owners..."

"... what's that supposed to mean?"

"nothing." you tease, pretending to go back to your food.

she kicks you under the table playfully, pouting. you laugh at her, finding her adorable, spooning some of your gelato up and offering it to her. her expression changes immediately when she opens her mouth, accepting the bite with a hum of satisfaction and a grin in thanks.

after dinner, you decide to walk back to momo's since she didn't live too far from the restaurant you had eaten at.

the night air is cool and refreshing, and you don't hesitate to slip your hand into momo's as you stroll along the streets. it's not too busy in this area so you can enjoy the little sounds of the creatures of the night scuttling around in the trees and on the ground. you glance over at momo who has a soft smile on her face, swinging your hands gently with each step, her face adorn with the subtle glimmer of the moon.

she catches you staring, and turns to you with a grin, "something on my face?"

you smile in return, "maaaybe something just-" you step forward, leaning in and hear her breath hitch just slightly when your eyes drop to her lips, you kiss her sweetly, 2 seconds maybe, and then you're breaking away, "there."

she's blushing, and you have a stupid grin on your face like the lovesick fool you are.

"romantic." she rolls her eyes at you, continuing your walk.

"i'll get you flowers next time."

"i'm allergic."

"chocolate then."

"i was joking i'm not allergic but now that you offered, i'll be expecting both."

"what?!"

she laughs, cackles really, her nose scrunches in the most adorable way, hand tightening around yours.

by the time you walk through the door of her apartment, you're a little tired but in the best way possible. the kind of tired where you know you're tired because you've just had the most fantastic day.

the dogs greet you at the door with excitement, panting, tongues out, jumping at momo's legs as soon as she enters. she laughs and bends down, petting them and cooing.

"so this one is dobby, he's a little shyer but he's a sweetheart once he warms up to you. and this little rascal is boo." she points out the two dogs and you bend down, reaching out a hand and letting them sniff you while momo stands up and takes off her jacket, placing it on the coat hanger.

"hiiii nice to meet you boys, i'm y/n, momo's..." you look up at momo, a little hesitant.

she raises an eyebrow at you, crouching down so she's eye level with you again, the dogs between the two of you, thrilled at the attention they're receiving. "girlfriend?"

you beam, giggling and leaning in to kiss her, "girlfriend."

she grins as well, standing up again and heading towards her kitchen, dobby follows her but boo continues to lick at your hand.

"want anything to drink girlfriend?" you can hear her teasing lilt from where you are.

"i'll have whatever you're having girlfriend."

“soy sauce okay then babe?”

your heart stutters at the term of endearment, completely disregarding her drink of choice. “i-i u-um y-yeah!”

you stand up and follow the sound of her laughter into the kitchen, boo pattering along behind you.

"i'm not sure if i want to kiss you if you're the type of person who drinks soy sauce y/n."

"what?! i don't do that!"

"not what i just heard."

you gape at her, but she giggles, coming up to you and planting a kiss on your lips. you can vaguely feel the wag of the dogs' tails at your feet, wondering what exactly their mom's doing letting someone else lick into her mouth.

she breaks away with a sly smirk, "still kissed you."

"uh huh-" you quickly reattach your lips, addicted to the taste of her, the way her lips move against yours, how she smells so close to you, the way her hands grip your shirt tightly, pulling you into her when you push her against the kitchen counter, trapping her against it.

it suddenly gets a lot more serious when she nips your bottom lip softly, and you let out an uncontrollable, but very real moan, and you have to break away painfully.

"my room?" momo breathes against you, your foreheads placed against each other's, sharing the same airspace.

you bite your lip, exactly where she had sunk her teeth into only seconds prior, watching the way she stalks your action like a hawk, "mhm."

and she surprises you when she picks you up easily by the thighs, and you yelp, wrapping your legs around hers and feeling her grin into the next kiss she lands on your lips, navigating her living room and into the bedroom, closing the door behind the both of you so her dogs wouldn't be privy to the sights of you coming apart under your new girlfriend's tongue.

♰˚☽˚｡⋆

the next morning, momo kisses you awake with the smell of breakfast wafting into the bedroom. you blush at the sight of her only in an oversized tee, the marks on her thighs reminiscent of your activities the night prior. she doesn't fail to tease you at the red pigment blossoming on your cheeks, pointing out your own marks on your neck and chest.

you spend the morning cuddling on the couch, watching reruns of glee and feeding each other the waffles momo's made for breakfast, stealing kisses in between each bite, the dogs playing around on their own, sometimes hopping into your lap to nose at you or momo, asking for pets and pats.

you smile dreamily as you unlock your door, remembering your time with her, how she promised she'd buy a new toothbrush for you if you promised to come over again, which you did of course, that was obviously a given but you adored her asking.

you step inside finding it quiet. when you place your shoes next to sana's spot on the shoe rack, you realise she's still home when you thought she was meant to be working.

"sana?"

there's no response, so you drop off your things, entering your living room and finding she's nowhere to be found. you frown, heading towards the kitchen, then the bathroom, and finally your room with the door ajar. you peek inside and find a lump under the sheets, her blackout curtains still tightly shut.

you tiptoe inside, hovering over the bed and peeling back the duvet a little to see if she's still asleep.

you don't expect her to yelp, pulling the duvet back and burrowing deeper into the little nest she's made. you hear the telltale signs of her scrambling to cover up the fact that she was crying.

"w-what are you doing here?" her voice is croaky, shaky, you sit tenderly on the side of the bed.

"this is my home."

there's a sniffle, and then "people come home and sleep in their own beds. you didn't."

you sigh, trying not to get frustrated, "sana... you didn't turn up yesterday. and you never called me back or returned any of my texts."

"my grandma was sick."

"is she okay now?"

"y-yeah."

"was she really sick?"

"...no."

you hum, placing a hand gingerly on what you deduct to be her arm.

"i'm not mad."

"you shouldn't be."

you raise an eyebrow, "you stood us up."

"i had my reasons."

"and what were they?"

she sighs under the covers, then suddenly she's whipping them down and leaning into your space, planting her lips on yours.

you're stunned for a second, 2 seconds, and then she's pulling away, and burrowing back under the covers. you barely caught a glimpse of red cheeks and red eyes, your lips tingling from the press of her lips.

it's too late to pull her back out when you come to your senses, touching your fingers to your lips still in mild shock.

"i-i- s-sana i-"

she sighs exasperatedly, "is that reason enough?"

"w-why didn't you tell me?"

"because you were all over this new girl! you barely had time for me anymore!"

"what- that's not- how long have you felt this way sana?"

she groans, shuffling a little, "i don't know. i just know i didn't like it when you started seeing momo."

"so all that about not forgetting you..."

"well yeah... i think i've always liked you. i was just never threatened by someone else taking you away, even with all your past partners you've never- you've always come back to me."

you sigh frustratedly, running a hand through your hair trying to think what exactly this meant for you. "i'm with momo."

she scoffs, "i know."

"we slept together last night."

"... like in the same bed? yeah we sleep together too."

"no like- like slept together slept together."

there's silence for a bit, you can hear the breaths of the both of you, the wheels in her head turning.

"... you've slept with other people before right? what difference does this make?"

"i think i really like her sana."

she sits up then, hair a mess, skin blotchy, eye bags present, but her eyes are fierce. you're hit with a sudden wave of nostalgia. you really hadn't seen sana in so long. seen her smile, heard her laugh, ever since you started going out with momo she started acting weird and you knew why now, but she was right when she said you had pushed her away because of it, preferring to bask in the new romance momo offered you, avoiding dealing with the complicated feelings that arose when you thought about sana. you missed her.

"if this is you rejecting me just come out with it. stop beating around the bush and say it. say you don't love me like i love you."

"... you... you love me?"

she rolls her eyes impatiently, a crease forming between her eyebrows that you want to reach out and smooth out of habit, "yes."

"i-" you can feel tears welling up, you don't want to choose between your best friend and your new lover. you don't want to lose sana because of this.

sana notices because she notices everything about you, and her eyes soften, wanting to touch and comfort but resigning to fiddling with her fingers instead.

"just go." she says softly after you're unable to form words for the next minute.

"no but i-"

"i'm tired y/n. just go." she's turning around onto her side, preparing to lie down and curl up again, but in the spur of the moment, you grab her wrist, pulling her into you and kissing her again.

she lets out a sound of surprise, eyes widening, but lets you kiss her.

you're not even sure what you're doing, all you can think is you can't lose sana. not like this. not when the entire future you've planned out in your head includes her. not when she tastes like the saline of the tears streaming out of both of your eyes, that and a hint of something that was uniquely sana. not when you both still had so much life left to live together.

all of this remains in your mind when you follow her tear tracks, kissing her neck, her shoulders, down her chest. you can feel her still crying even when she sucks new marks into your skin, right next to the ones momo's left on you last night. the both of you don't know what this means, just that it's the end of something, and you were both going to make the most of it.

♰˚☽˚｡⋆

"so how's sana been?"

"huh?"

"your best friend y/n. was everything okay after she wasn't able to make dinner last week? you haven't talked about her much since then."

"oh. yeah she's alright." you're not really sure if she was alright actually. you haven't seen her since the two of you slept together. you woke up to an empty bed, no note, but all of her things were still around so you know she hasn't run off to another country or anything.

"that's good. is there anything you wanna talk about?"

"what do you mean?"

"you've just been a little distant since last week. is it- do you regret- do you still want to be together?"

you look up from pushing your food around your plate, surprised at the vulnerability in momo's voice.

"no- i mean yes of course i still want to be together! i'm sorry i've been off i just-" you sigh dejectedly, "there's something i need to show you after work today."

"oh?"

"yeah... it's not... it's not anything you have to worry about, and i think it'll explain a lot, but it's also pretty heavy so i understand if you don't want to-"

you're cut off when she grabs your hand, squeezing it gently and smiling, "i'd love for you to show me. i'm just glad you're not breaking up with me one week into the relationship." she jokes a little, trying to lighten the mood, and you smile, grateful for her, but feeling your anxieties pile up knowing that you were about to reveal something to momo that no one else except sana knew. if you wanted this relationship to work though, you needed to do this. you couldn't start this relationship off on the wrong foot, you wanted to do this right.

♰˚☽˚｡⋆

your grip on momo's hand is tight, but she doesn't complain, squeezing back every few minutes to remind you that you weren't alone.

after work, you had driven both you and momo to your destination, a park a little out of the ways. the drive was quiet, momo didn't mind though, humming softly to the music on the radio and staring out the window, glancing back at you every so often. you parked, stepping out of the car, already doubting the decision of coming here.

there are a few other people in the park milling about. momo smiles politely at an old couple who break away from a hug to nod greetings at you. you barely notice them though, your tunnel vision and your thoughts becoming louder as you get closer.

you pull along momo who's holding a large bunch of flowers that you had stopped by at the florist on your drive to pick up.

you spot her then. avoiding eye contact as you get closer to her.

then you're standing in front of her.

"y/n."

momo lets out a little muted gasp behind you, but you squeeze her hand, focusing forward.

"sana."

"i see you've decided to forcefully make momo and i meet like this."

"i didn't have any other option."

"there's always another option y/n."

"not when it comes to you sana."

she tilts her head, "what is that supposed to mean?"

you shuffle your feet a little, "you know what it means."

she sighs, stepping closer and cupping your cheek. "why are you crying?"

you're surprised at her statement, the hand that's not holding momo's coming up to wipe hastily at your eyes.

sana's hand drops along with her face. "i thought you said you'd never forget me."

"and i never will sana."

"what's this then? it feels an awful lot like goodbye."

you can't contain the tears streaming down your cheeks, "i could never say goodbye to you sana."

sana's crying now too when she looks up, "don't then. don't say goodbye. say you'll pick me. say we'll stay together for the rest of our lives, like we promised when we were kids. say you love me y/n."

"i-i- i can't sana! i can't do that!"

"why not?"

"because- because i still have the rest of my life sana."

she sniffles, wiping at her eyes. how you wished you could see her smile just once more.

"i guess this is it then."

"no. no this isn't- i told you sana i'll never forget you. you'll always be with me. everything i do i'll always think about you, every new person i meet, every new life stage i enter, i'll think about you. i- i- i loved you sana."

then sana's in your arms, crying into your neck while you hold her, sobbing nearly hysterically, clutching onto everything, a film roll of memories playing behind your eyelids, of the first time you met, the first kiss you shared drunk at a college party, the times you'd piggy back sana from the library to your shared apartment after attempting to pull an all-nighter, the time you first signed your lease together, the time she squealed and brought you into a hug after you got your first job, insisting on a celebration, every single birthday, graduation, milestone, every single moment you've shared with her crosses your mind.

"i have to let you go now." you croak into her ear, voice still shaky and laden with emotion.

she's quiet for a bit, then she pulls back, eyes wet but smiling. she's smiling. oh god you've missed it. "i understand." she says against your lips, foreheads knocked against one another's. you close your eyes, committing to memory her smile, each line, each crease, you were never going to forget her.

when you blink your eyes open again, she's gone, the only evidence of her existence, the headstone reading:

in loving memory of

minatozaki sana

1996 - 2019

you don't even realise you're crouching in front of the headstone now, having let go of momo's hand long ago, until you hear a small rustle behind you and you look up to see momo offering the flower bouqet to you and crouhing down. you smile in gratitude, taking it from her and placing it under the letters of the headstone gently, rearranging to make sure it fit perfectly.

you speak up after a while, having left momo in the dark for long enough now. "it was a freak accident. she was coming home late after work because there was this kid in her class who's parents didn't come pick them up until way after school ended. she was in a rush because it was movie night. no matter how busy our lives got, we always had movie night, something that was stable when everything else in life wasn't i guess. didn't see the car coming. she died on the way to the hospital."

momo's quiet, placing a hand gently on your shoulder.

"i'm sorry i lied to you. i haven't- it's been five years since it happened, but i haven't fully moved on i guess. not until now. you know this is the first time i've visited her grave since the funeral?" you chuckle brokenly, feeling the tears well up again.

"and there's not even anything under here. she was cremated and her parents took her back to japan."

"that doesn't mean you can't still grieve here."

you sigh, "i know. and it's silly y'know? to think i'm still grieiving after 5 years. everyone else has moved on except me. i still- i still saw her everyday- in that way i wasn't lying to you. i just- after the accident and then the rush of the funeral, it all didn't feel real. i still felt like i was going home to sana, and to laughs and smiles and movie nights and cuddles. it didn't make sense y'know? i know death is natural and whatever but it doesn't make sense to me, how someone is here one second and then gone the next. i couldn't make sense of it. so i didn't. she was still alive to me. i still saw her everyday, still packed both our lunches, sent her off to work, took care of her when she was sick, i never got rid of any of her things because in my head she was still using them. she still has her place on the shoe rack at home, her clothes are still mixed in with mine, her expired skin products are still on the bathroom counter. i never- she's always been with me momo i-"

you start blubbering, words no longer making sense and you feel momo shuffling closer to you, wrapping her arm around you tentatively, and you turn and bury yourself into her, crying into the arms of someone physical. someone who was real, who was here in the present with you.

momo doesn't say anything, letting you cry, running her hand through your hair soothingly, letting you take as much time as you needed.

when your sobs subside the sun's setting. you sniffle into her, breathing in her scent, a new comfort to you.

"grief is a monster. not everyone gets out alive, and those that do might only survive in pieces. but it's a monster that can be conquered with time."

you chuckle a little into her. "where'd you get that from?"

"a book i read. summer bird blue. i can lend it to you if you want."

you hum, pulling away from her and wiping at your eyes, smiling softly, "i'd like that."

she smiles as well. "do you think she would’ve liked me?"

you turn back to the gravestone, the cold words etched in marble. "yeah. i think she would’ve loved you. i kept on telling her that y'know? in my head. you two would’ve gotten along famously."

"i'm glad." momo turns to the gravestone as well, "it's nice to finally meet you sana. i promise i'll take care of y/n. you don't have to give me the whole best friend speech about how you'll curse me for the rest of my life or anything. she's special, and i'm grateful you were such a good friend to her. she loved you a lot."

you sniffle, listening to momo talk to sana. when she's done, she looks back at you with a smile, her face illuminated with the golden-orange hues of the sunset.

"thank you momo."

"hmm?"

"remember how i was talking about soulmates? how i think there's people i was meant to meet and people i'm not? thank you. i think sana brought you into my life to help me get over this. i haven't- the last five years has just been me in my head, i've been on autopilot. you were the first person to change that. to make me feel like- like there was a little more brightness to life again."

momo's tearing up now as well, you'll learn that it's not very common that she cries. "i'm glad fate has led me to you then. and i hope you know this doesn't mean sana's gone. she'll always stay with you."

you look back to the tombstone longingly, "i know. i promised i'd never forget her. she will always stay with me."

momo leans into you again, and you rest your head on her shoulder, the cool breeze blowing against you softly, the sun setting behind you.

maybe momo was right. it took you five years, and it'll probably take you a lot longer, but you were going to get over this monster, and you were going to live out the rest of your life, like sana always wanted for you, not in-your-head-sana, the real sana that you're not afraid to admit is gone now, but will always stay in your mind, your heart, with your soul.