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myhockeyworld87 · 5 years ago

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Not So Dangerous Liaison - Sidney Crosby - Part 10

Word Count: 5,487

POV: Reader then changes to Sid

Warnings: Language

Notes: This is fluf again, but I think we’re getting a little closer to the smut...haha. Sorry this chapter is a little long. Happy Reading!!! As always feedback is welcome!

Not So Dangerous Liaison Masterlist

READER'S POV

It felt like the last twenty-four hours hadn't really existed. One minute you were celebrating with the team that you were going to the Stanley Cup finals and the next, you were waking up laying on top of Sidney. As if that wasn't enough, you'd actually agreed to go out with him. What were you actually thinking? You shouldn't be mixing business and pleasure. There was part of you that was screaming that you were becoming everything that Christian had said that night in DC. Your rational side told you that things with Sid weren't like that, that he genuinely cared about you.

It was in the way he held you when the elevator stopped and the lights when out. The way he came running after you, after your encounter with Christian, and also the way he talked to you into staying and working for the team. All those things added up and showed you just how much he really cared for you. The problem was you didn't want to be a distraction right now for him. It was your job, to help these guys not make think about bringing you flowers and taking you on a date, especially not at a time when he needed to solely be focusing on hockey.

Though you couldn't help remembering the feel of his fingers as they ran up and down your arm this morning, or the way he smelled as your head lay on his chest. Just the thought of it all gave you butterflies. Butterflies that you shouldn't be having; you told yourself. You needed to focus on the team, just like Sid needed to focus on hockey. The only thing you could do was immerse yourself in work. Of course, you were at every practice, just like always, but you took extra time making sure the guys had everything they needed. When you weren't at the rink you were planning ahead for when you were in San Jose. Coach Sullivan had approached you that afternoon about doing an outdoor workout again. So, you were busy getting that set up for when you were in California.

You also took extra time making up care packages for all the teams' families that would be coming in for the game. They weren't staying at the same hotel as you guys, but you did know where the arrangements had been made and you wanted to make sure that they knew they could reach out to you as well. That was the whole point of this job.

The first home game against the Sharks, the Pens were on fire and while Sid didn't have a goal, he did have an assist. After the game, Sid did a bunch of interviews and was the last one to leave the locker room. You were finishing up a few things in your office when he stood in the doorway. "I thought you'd still be here."

"Oh, really, and what made you think that?"

"Because you take this job as seriously as I do." Well, maybe not quite that much. "Come on, I'll walk you to your car." You gathered up a few folders you needed to take home and your coat and headed out the door with Sid. The hallways were somewhat bare, as most of the players had already left. The garage was eerily quiet and you were glad Sid was with you. He walked you down to your car which was parked a lot further away than his, but then he was the star of the team.

"Nice game tonight." You told him when you finally got to the vehicle.

"Thanks, I could've been a little better, but at least we got the win." He rubbed the back of his neck and you couldn't tell if it was just sore from a hit that had happened in the second or if he was stalling for more time with you.

"Your neck ok? I saw that hit. It was kind of jarring."

"What? Oh…uh ya. It's a little sore." He brought his arm down then and put his hands in his pockets.

"Can I?" You'd been told you were pretty good at giving massages and you really just wanted to help him out. He turned around then. Thank god you were wearing your heels. You were still a couple inches shorter than Sid, but it made massaging his neck a little easier. You slid your fingers into the chords of his neck muscles and could feel the tension there. "Damn Sid, didn't you have Chris look at this before you left?"

He sighed as you hit a particular spot and the knot worked out. "I was too busy with interviews." You circled your thumbs down at the base and felt some of the tension leave him. His shoulders could use some work, but it was a little hard to get to them through this suit.

"Well make sure you get to the rink early tomorrow, so he can squeeze you in before practice."

He twisted around; your hand falling away as he turned. "If he can't, I'll just come over to your office." He said with a wink. You were starting to wonder how bad his neck actually hurt. Shaking your head, you opened your car door to leave.

"Thanks for walking me to the car. Now go get some rest."

"Trying to get me into bed, eh? And we haven't even had our first date." That damn crooked smile of his came out and you wanted nothing more than to kiss him until the sun came up.

Instead, you told him, "Oh you'll know when I'm trying to get you into bed." For added effect, you went up on your toes and whispered into his ear. "And you may not want to leave once I have you there." You pulled back to a see his jaw go slack. "Goodnight Sidney." With that, you ducked into the car and headed home.

The next two days were a whirlwind. You were getting everything ready for the game the next night while trying to prep everything for the away trip as well. Coach Sullivan had decided that it would be easier to just fly out to San Jose right after game two; so you also needed to pack as well. Suitcase packed, you threw it in the car and headed to the arena. The Pens fans came out in full support of their team, covering the seats in a sea of gold, towels waving nonstop. The guys played their hearts out and ended up coming away with a win in overtime. Everyone was exhausted as you headed on the plane, and while you normally sat with Beau; you decided to head to the back and get some sleep.

Horny had the very last seat behind you and was fast asleep before the plane even took off. Your nerves still got the best of you during takeoff, so you waited until the captain stated it was ok to turn on your devices before grabbing your travel blanket and pillow and curling up in the seat. You were just about to close your eyes when you heard. "Is this seat taken?"

You looked up to see Sid, already sitting down beside you. "No, but then I think you knew that." Sid just simply shrugged. "Why aren't you sitting up there with Flower?"

"He's sleeping." Funny, you'd plan on doing the same until a moment ago. "And he's not near as pretty to look at when he's asleep as you are."

"Shhh." You chided him as you looked to see who was seated in front of you. Thankfully it was just Dana Heinze and he was out like a light.

He leaned over then and whispered in your ear. "Why can't I say how pretty you are when you sleep? I love how your lashes lay against your cheek and you have the cutest little…"

"Sid," you said, a blush staining your cheeks. "You shouldn't be saying those things. Especially here." That crooked smirk came out again, and you just shook your head at him as he muttered fine. "Now is there something you need help with, or are you just tormenting me since everyone else is sleeping."

"Well, I wouldn't call it tormenting?" You giggled softly, you wouldn't necessarily call it that either, but you liked making him flustered. "Can you massage my neck again? We didn't really have time after the game." You looked across the aisle and saw a couple of the trainers chatting, and knew he could've asked one of them, but who were you to argue.

"Turn sideways." He had shed his jacket once you were on the plane, so it was a bit easier to rub his shoulders this time. His neck did feel tight, but not as bad as the other night, so you were pretty sure this was just his way of flirting with you. He slowly relaxed under your hands as you massaged him for a good ten to fifteen minutes. "Better?"

"Mmm," he hummed out, turning so he could recline in the seat beside you.

"Anything else you need?"

"Some of your blanket. It's freezing back here." It was always cold on the plane, so you learned early to bring a small throw.

"Don't you have a seat, that's missing you? Like I'm pretty sure I heard that you always sit in that seat for luck." It was just another one of his superstitions, but you actually thought they were kind of cute.

"I did sit in it, and now I'm sitting the rest of the way with you. Now fork over some blanket, so we can get some sleep." You just shook your head at him and spread the blanket between the two. "If you come over this way, we'd both have more." You scooted to his side instead of leaning against the window.

"There, now go to sleep." You shut your eyes when you felt his knuckles brush across the back of your hand. His fingers lightly caressed your skin, before lacing his hand with yours. It was so incredibly sweet, yet you found yourself asking. "This doesn't seem like business as usual?" referring to the fact that he was not supposed to be pursuing you until after the playoffs were over.

"Maybe it's going to be from now on. Now be quiet so I can go to sleep." He shut his eyes, but a huge grin was spread across his face. You closed yours as well and tried not to think about the man next to you. You weren't doing anything but holding his hand under a blanket, yet it felt so intimate, and you hoped no one would notice. It took a few minutes before the motion of the plane lulled you to slumber.

When you woke up, your head was resting on Sidney's shoulder and his was leaning down on yours. You could only imagine the picture that the two of you painted. The plane was still quiet, as it seemed most people were still asleep. His hand was still interlaced into yours and you took a moment to just breathe in his scent and cherish this moment. You knew you couldn't stay like that for fear of someone seeing the two of you. The small pillow you brought was on the other side of you, and you grabbed it to prop Sid's head on as you carefully extracted yourself. Luckily, he slept on.

A quick check of your phone showed you were only about thirty minutes from landing, so you expected everyone to be waking up soon. You tried to unlace your fingers from Sid's but even in sleep, he wasn't having it. As much as you were trying to keep it business, you couldn't help but smile sitting there holding his hand. You took a moment to just look at him as he slept, even though it was dark and hard to make out some of his features. He looked so peaceful and so carefree in sleep, and you wondered if he ever let go this much when he was awake.

You weren't sure how long you sat there gazing at Sid, thinking about what it would be like to wake up in his arms again, but all too soon the captain came on and told everyone to fasten their seatbelts as you would be landing shortly. Most of the guys woke up, but Sid just slept on. Gently, you rubbed his bicep, the one that was still holding your hand. "Sid, time to wake up."

His head tilted over to you, and he whispered low. "Mmm, I know. Just wanted to see if you'd kiss me awake." You shoved his shoulder then.

"How's that instead?" He just chuckled at you, and you had a feeling he'd been awake a lot longer than he was letting on. "You can go back to your seat anytime now." You teased.

"Nope. You're stuck with me until we land."

"Fine, but I'm stealing my blanket back."

Sid stopped you. "You might not want to do that, as I don't plan on letting go until we land." He squeezed your locked hands.

"Seriously, what am I going to do with you?"

"I have a few ideas," he muttered raising his eyebrows suggestively at you, to which you just rolled your eyes. Thankfully, the stewardess came by checking your seatbelts and effectively changing the subject.

The two of you made small talk the remainder for the flight. Sid did finally let your hand go before heading off the plane.

SID'S POV

The next couple of days were filled with practices and watching films. There was really wasn't any time that you got to spend with (Y/N) alone or even semi-alone for that matter. While the team was off watching endless hours of tapes, she would head over to the hotel where all the families were staying and make sure everyone there was fine. The only reason you knew this was because of your mom. She mentioned that she ran into (Y/N) in the lobby and how she was checking on everyone.

Your mom also mentioned how (Y/N) had done gift baskets for everyone and how that someone should snatch that girl up. Of course, she was insinuating that someone should be you, to which you simply told her you were trying. That comment led to a whole conversation about what you should be doing to win her over. You took in all her advice but thought you were pretty much on the right track at the moment. You just needed to win the cup and then (Y/N)'s heart. The fact that you lost game three, didn't help your endeavor in either case.

The following day, coach had you all train at the beach again. Which of course, (Y/N) had made all the arrangements for. It was again the pick me up the team needed and helped you to a game four win. As you headed back to Pittsburgh, you knew everyone had one thing on their mind and that was to win and to do it at home. Tensions were high, the entire flight home and all into game five. You felt the pressure pouring down on you, from everywhere; the team, the fans, the city, even your family, everyone but (Y/N). You'd pass her in the hall and she would always send you a reassuring smile. One time you waited to walk her to her car like you did before. She held your hand the entire time and refused to talk about hockey, trying to take your mind off of everything. Unfortunately, it didn't help and the team lost its chances of winning at home in game 5.

As you headed back to San Jose, (Y/N) took the seat way in the back again. She must have sensed you needed some time with her. It was a morning flight, so you couldn't really cuddle up with her as you had previously. "Are you doing ok?" She asked.

"Yeah," you breathed out. "It's a lot but I know we're going to get it this time."

She smiled over at you, totally agreeing with your statement. "You will." She stated simply. "So, let's focus on something else. I think you have enough hockey on your mind for three seasons at the moment."

"True. How about we talk about where you want to go on our date?"

While she shook her head at you, a becoming blush started to creep onto her cheeks. "Sid, we're not supposed to be talking about that until after this is all over."

"I thought you were going to take my mind off of hockey?" It was a cheap tactic, but one you used to your advantage.

She side-eyed you before giving her reply. "Point taken. Where would you like to go?"

"Well, I have a few thoughts." You said with a suggestive raise of your brow.

"Sid," she whisper yelled at you.

"What? I was thinking of that cute little restaurant on Mount Washington and then maybe ice cream afterward." You didn't point out that you wanted to lick the ice cream off of her body.

"Yeah, sure you did." The rest of the way you talked about anything and everything, well except hockey. By the time the plane landed, you were feeling good about the game and your upcoming date. Which hopefully would be taking place soon.

Game six was intense. Halfway into the first Dumo put you on the board, and you could almost taste the champagne coming out of the cup. The Sharks rallied though in the second as Couture, put one in the back of the net. Not a minute later, you got the puck on a pass from Shears. You weighed your options as you dangled the puck back and forth, finally flipping it over to Tanger who slapped into the net for you guys to take the lead. The rush was amazing, and you couldn't help but wonder if (Y/N) saw that; knowing, of course, she probably did.

Minutes ticked by and it seemed like the slowest third period you'd ever played in your life, but with every passing one, it put your closer to winning. Finally, you were down to a little over a minute in the third, you were able to steal the puck away from the Sharks and pass it on to Horny who threw it into the empty net, sealing your fate as the new Stanley Cup Champs. The bench erupted and it took everything in Coach Sullivan's power to settle everyone down for the few seconds. You stayed out on the ice and when the buzzer sounded gloves and sticks were thrown in the air. The crowd was somber, nothing like if you'd had been in Pittsburgh, but it didn't matter. Everyone piled on top of each other to celebrate and as you emerged from the pile your eyes scanned the bench looking for (Y/N), yet she wasn't there.

Handshakes commenced; a tradition long upheld at the end of a playoff series. It was only after, as you still celebrated with your teammates that you saw her, standing in the back, waiting with some of the other staff members to watch you receive the Stanley Cup. Her smile was brighter than the sun and while you knew you had a perma-grin plastered on, yours grew wider just looking at her. You were awarded the Conn-Smythe trophy and you were able to hear her say congratulations when you skated it back for someone to take back to the locker room for you. It wasn't enough, but it would have to do for now.

The Stanley Cup presentation took place next, and you raised it above your head, cheering and skating around the ice. You passed the trophy off and quickly had microphones shoved in your face, giving a few quick interviews as it was passed from player to player. Finally, it was time for the team photo and you saw Mario drag her out on the ice. You knew she didn't feel as though she should be there, but you were glad she was. As soon as the was over, everyone's families crowd out to congratulate them. Your parents and sister were right there in the front and after a few pictures with the cup and them, you skated around joining in the celebration. Over to your left, Anna had her legs wrapped around Geno, the two sharing a passionate kiss, and to your right, you saw Vero and Flower doing the same. It was then you realized how incomplete the cup win actually was. Oh, you were still thrilled that you'd won your second championship; it just finally hit you that it would've been so much better to celebrate it with (Y/N). You wanted her legs wrapped around you, kissing you senseless, and pictures with just the two of you and the cup. You vowed right then and there that you'd win another one, just so that you could have a moment like that with her.

You spotted her then. She was standing off to the side with Tanger's son Alex, crouched down low talking to him about everything that was going on. You skated over to him, lowering yourself to his level as well. "Hey bud, are you excited?"

He shook his little head. "Uncle Sid, Nous avons gagne la coupe!"

"Yes we did, win the cup, Alex."

"He was teaching me how to say it in French, weren't you Alex?"

"Oui." You scooped him up in your arms then, for even as excited as he was, you could see that the late-night was taking a toll on him.

"I was just watching him for a minute, while Kris and Catherine had an interview or something." Alex rested his little hard on your shoulder and (Y/N) moved closer to the two of you to brush his hair out of his face. "Are you sleepy buddy?" He reached out his hand for (Y/N) to take him.

"What, Uncle Sid is no good now or what?" You teased the toddler.

"She sings better than you, Uncle Sid."

You handed the boy over, and he wiggled around in (Y/N)'s arms trying to get comfortable. The problem was you were all still on the ice, only (Y/N) was still in heels. You reached around to support her more until Alex finally determine what obviously was the place he wanted to rest his little head, her breasts.

Things winded down on the ice and everyone moved back to the locker room. You waited until almost everyone was back there, then brought the cup in. Everyone was cheering, champagne was flowing everywhere, in the air, in the cup; it was complete chaos in the best sense. You were soaked head to toe in some form of alcohol. After pouring several bottles into Lord Stanley's Cup, you took a drink then held it up for your teammates, coaches, and staff. Eventually, Tanger and Flower coax (Y/N) over to partake as well. You tried to pour as little as possible but of course, it ended up all over her just like it was everyone else. She was just as soaked as everyone else.

The team partied in the locker room for a couple hours, then headed back to the hotel. As the captain, you were entitled to keep the cup for the night, so you carried it into your room and set down next to all the things (Y/N) had put in your room for this trip. You still really hadn't gotten to celebrate with just her, you'd only had that brief moment with her and Alex. Pulling out your phone, you shot her a quick text. If you have a sec, can you come down here? You didn't have to tell her where for you knew she'd assigned the rooms and would know where you were staying. Be down in a minute. She sent back.

About five minutes later there was a knock on your door. "Everything ok?"

You opened the door for her to come in, then shut it behind her. Her hair was slightly damp, probably after the shower she'd just taken to get the alcohol off, and she had an oversized Pens Championship t-shirt, the same as you, and a pair of leggings on. She looked adorable and sexy at the same time, a combination that wreaked havoc on your senses. "Yeah, why wouldn't it be?"

"When you text me, I thought something happened with the cup and you needed me to find fairies with little metal hammers to take the dents out."

That caused both of you to laugh. "Fairies, really (Y/N)?"

She simply lifted her shoulder in a shrug. "With a trophy this old, you never know. Anyway, what did you need?"

"Oh, well I just realized something."

When you paused a second, she asked. "What's that?"

"Just that I haven't got to celebrate the win with you at all tonight." A sweet little smile graced her face.

"We celebrated in the locker room." She countered.

"Yeah, that wasn't what I meant." You took a step closer to her, now only inches separating the two of you. "There's been something I've wanted to do all night."

"And what's that?"

"This," you stated as you closed the gap between you, capturing her chin between your thumb and index finger, before closing your lips over hers. She was taken back for only a second, and then her hands slid up around your neck and she pressed her body to yours. You took possession of her mouth then, your tongue sweeping in and swirling with hers. Kissing (Y/N) was everything you had dreamed; your only regret was that you hadn't done it sooner. She was soft and pliant under your hands, as you skated them down her back. Her mouth molded to yours, as she returned the kiss.

When you finally broke apart, you were both breathing heavily. You rested your forehead on hers, cherishing the moment for a minute longer. "That was…" she sighed out, eyes still closed.

"Perfect," you told her and hoped she felt the same way.

"Yeah."

"So…I was thinking?" You pulled back to look at her.

"Then we must not have been doing it right." A light laugh escaped your lips.

"I was thinking of this before we did that." She raised her eyebrows at you. "Stay with me tonight?"

"Uh…um…" she sputtered out.

"Hear me out, before you answer." You quickly continued before she could protest. "Tonight has been perfect; everything about it. There's only one thing that could make it better and that's spending it with you in my arms." You felt her sigh before you actually heard it, and you weren't sure if it was one of acquiescence or rejection. "I just want to hold you, like I did that night at my house. Nothing more…not yet at least." She blushed then and you may have as well.

"But Sid, what if someone sees us?"

"No one will care (Y/N). Besides, they'll eventually find out, once I officially get to take you on a date."

She closed her eyes again, shielding you from her thoughts. Your hand rubbed circles on her hip, coaxing her to say yes. "Ok," she softly whispered.

Her agreement was like winning the Stanley Cup all over again, and you dropped a swift peck to her lips. "By the way, this looks good on you." You tugged at her shirt pulling her towards the bed before she changed her mind.

"It's a bit big."

"I have some pants that would go with it." You told her referring to the ones she wore when she was at your house.

"Oh my god, I still have them." Her face turned a delicious shade of red.

"Keep them. I have a feeling I might need them for when I stay over at your place."

"You seem pretty confident, about that happening, Mr. Crosby." She playfully swatted at your chest, before spinning around to turn down the bed, shimming out of her leggings before climbing in.

"I'd say hopefully optimistic." She crawled into the bed, scooting over to the other side, while you shucked off your identical t-shirt and shed your sweats so that you were only clad in a pair of boxers. You were under the covers before she even knew you had discarded the clothing.

"Hmm, maybe I should sleep on top of the covers." You gave her a questioning look. "Can't have you getting overconfident." All you could do was shake your head and pull her close; her head resting on your chest, just as it had days ago. She still fit perfectly in your arms, and you took a moment to appreciate everything you had at that moment. "This is nice, just you, me, and that big silver trophy. You played a hell of a game Sid."

"Thanks, but it wasn't just me."

She propped her chin up on her hand to look at you. "There are no cameras at the moment, take the compliment."

"Only if it comes with a kiss." She leaned over then, her lips hovering above yours for the briefest moment before they gently caressed yours. She sucked on your bottom lip, before sweeping her tongue in and stealing your breath away. You moved your bodies so that you were both laying on your sides, as your hands roamed over her hips and back. You deepened the kiss even more, and she moaned into your mouth, the sound causing your cock to stiffen. It would be so easy to just slide her onto her back, coax her out of her shirt and make love to her. However, you'd all but promised her you wouldn't go that far; so you found yourself pulling away from the kiss earlier than either of you liked. You rolled onto your back, pulling her so that half her body was on top of you. "We should sleep before this goes any further."

She planted a kiss on your chest and you returned it with one to the top of her head. It wasn't long before both of you were fast asleep. Sunlight stole through the curtains causing you to wake up. (Y/N) still lay sleeping on your chest. It was around eight in the morning and you knew everyone would be getting up soon and meeting for breakfast, before heading back to Pittsburgh. You hated that you had to wake her, yet it couldn't be helped. "(Y/N)," you whispered lightly shaking her, then rubbing your hands across her back. "Baby, it's time to get up."

She moaned slightly, still in a sleep fog. "Mmm, did you just call me baby?"

"Um…maybe?" You hadn't realized you'd let the term of endearment fall from your lips. "Is that ok?"

"Mmm…" Every time the light hum slipped out of her lips it elicited wicked thoughts from you. "Yeah…I kind of like it."

You kissed her nose then. "Good, because I have a feeling, I'm going to use it more often." Your lips dropped down to hers then, stealing a kiss.

She pulled back too quickly for your liking. "I should go."

"I can't wait until you don't have to." She giggled then, before squirming out of your arms and out of bed. "I'll meet you down at breakfast then?"

"Yeah, I'll be down as soon as I pack." She tossed her leggings back on, before throwing her hair in some type of messy bun. You got up and reached for her, pressing her close to you.

"Let me make sure no one is in the hall first." You didn't release her though, instead, you kissed her again, letting your mouth worship hers one last time before having to pretend there was nothing going on between you. "You know next season; you're going to have to make our rooms next to each other."

"Oh really?"

"Mmmhmm, better yet they should be adjoining. I'll be sure to put it on my paper so you remember." She just laughed and shook her head at you. "Wait, I have an even better idea." She pulled back, to get a better look at your face. "We can just share a room; it would save the team money."

"You'd be sick of me."

"Never," you answered before kissing her again.

"I better go." You released her, before opening the door to check and see if anyone was in the hall.

"All clear. I'll see you in a bit." She went to leave, and you pulled her back one last time for a quick kiss before she headed down the hall and back to her room. The last twenty-four hour had been the best of your life and you had a feeling they were only going to get better from here on out.

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bqstqnbruin · 5 years ago

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Tightrope

No one has yelled at me about my portfolio. This is worth like a quarter of my grade and it’s so I can get certified someone please YELL AT ME.

I’m being dramatic I’m only sort of sorry.

But this is inspired by Tightrope by Michelle Williams from the Greatest Showman!

__________________________

From the moment he first asked you out, you knew that dating him would be less than ideal. But you knew when he asked you out, again and again, kept calling and texting, spending every free minute he had with, causing you to fall in love, and learn to adjust to life when the most important person in the world to you is almost never with you.

“You know your life is going to be hard while he’s traveling all the time for games.”

“Why don’t you try to find someone who’s a safer option?”

“I don’t get why you would want to be with someone who can never be there for you when you need him.”

Telling your friends was easy, they were just happy that you finally found someone so you’d stop moping around about being single.

Telling your family about having a serious boyfriend, on the other hand, was stressful; they had never met or even heard about someone you were dating before. You were convinced that they would think you were lying. It was bad enough they had told you before that if you don’t find a boyfriend soon, you’re going to be alone forever. But when you told them your boyfriend was Jake DeBrusk, they were ruthless to point out that he was: A. Canadian and probably spending his offseason at home in another country. B. A professional hockey player who traveled more than half the year. C. Never going to be home between games, practices, or other promotional team events. And D. Probably not really your boyfriend because how could you land a professional athlete like him. You found yourself trying to defend the relationship you were more passionate about than any of the ones you had before.

“Look, this is the life I signed up for. Being with Jake is like-” you pause to think of how you can even begin to put it into words to tell your mother. “It’s like this non-stop adventure that comes with this breathtaking view. Like everything I see around me is this perfect place that we never want to leave. Like the whole world is ours to explore and enjoy. Like, we’re walking on a tightrope where we could fall at any minute, but it’s the thrill of being with him.”

Like, yeah, it’s hard when you’re having a hard day at work knowing that you have an empty apartment waiting for you. But, up on the tightrope, he would the one to catch you if you should fall. You knew that.

“Well, I just think there’s no point in having a boyfriend if he’s not there to be your boyfriend. Why sail the sea when you’re safer on land?”

“Mom, I’m dating Jake. End of story. You haven’t even met him to know if you like him or not.” you say, hanging up the phone. You were going to hear about that the next time you were on the phone with her, but you were tired of hearing about how hard your life would be now that you were with Jake.

You and Jake had decided to tell your families on the same day. You both had to do it over the phone since Boston was nowhere near where either of your families lived. His conversation had gone a lot better than yours had.

“Hey, I know it’s hard. But we knew this months ago when we start dating,” he says, taking your hands in his from across the table. “It’s worth it for me. If it’s worth it for you, too, then we’re going to make the world our own.”

You can’t help but laugh at how poetic he got all of a sudden. This was a boy who previously only found love for hockey, his grandmother, and Oreos, now he feels that same love for you.

“Whatever life throws at us, we’ll get through it, alright?” The sparkle in his eyes made you believe him. He would catch you if you fell.

The next day was a road trip. One week, on the other side of the country. You’ve done this before, coming home knowing that he won’t be in the same city as you to come see you if you get lonely. You thought you would be fine.

What you didn’t think is that it would be the hardest week of your life.

Your boss had called you into his office to scream at you over a mistake you made on one of your client’s accounts. It wasn’t even a big mistake; you entered the wrong number that changed the overall amount owed by twenty cents. You got screamed at over twenty cents. You coworker slammed more work for you on your desk because she ‘didn’t have time to do it’ since she ‘had to go make dinner for herself.’ Bunch of bullshit.

By the time you get home, it’s nearly eight o’clock. You’re exhausted, starving, and all you want to do is sit and cry. If Jake were in the city, you would call him. If he weren’t getting ready for a game, you would call him.

Fuck it. He’s your boyfriend. Even if he can’t talk right now, you can leave him a message for him to call you back.

“Hey you’ve reached Jake. I’ll call ya when I get the chance.” you hear his voicemail come through the speaker on your phone.

Feeling the tears practically begging to start pouring, you try to spit out, “Hey, babe. It’s me. I know you’re getting ready for your game against the Sharks, but -” you pause because you would have let out the ugliest sob imaginable if you didn’t. Choking back tears, you finish, “Call me when you get the chance. I just want to hear your voice.”

As soon as you press end, the tears start pouring. You can’t help but sob. Because of the hard day at work. Because Jake isn’t in the city. Because you’re starting to think your family is right. Because you need someone there for you.

He would hopefully be done with the game before you fall asleep. At least it was Friday, so you didn’t have to be awake early tomorrow. You could stay up to wait for him to call. You make some dinner out of whatever could be thrown in the microwave while you open some wine and start drinking straight from bottle. The only thing you can do to take your mind off everything is drink the night away and binge watch The Office.

You must have fallen asleep, because you’re jolted away by the same sound that your alarm gives off to wake you up for work. You must have turned on the ringer of your phone, setting that as your ring tone back in college if your roommate called you after a night out. A yellow heart emoji shows up as the contact name, a picture of you and Jake after one of his games, taken by one of the Garden staff members pops up. You had gotten your mind off your day, but remembering that you called him caused all of those emotions to come flooding back, tears rolling down your cheeks before you could even answer the call.

“Hey!” you say, trying to sound as happy as you can. “How’d the game go?”

“You’re crying. You were crying when you called me, too.” you hear his voice on the other end, hushed and worried.

“Yeah. I just had a hard day today. It’s no big deal.”

“If you’re upset about anything, then it’s a big deal to me.”

You can’t help but smile, even though he obviously can’t see it. You take a breath, letting out a sigh, “It’s just stupid work stuff, my boss is just dramatic.”

“Hey, Jakey, we’re going out to celebrate!” you hear one of his teammates in the background of his call.

“Sorry, I’ll catch up with you guys, I’m on the phone with my girl.”

“Don’t miss out on stuff because of me. You’re not even with me, don’t let me hold you back.” you say, still smiling, feeling better anyway.

“I spend so much time with those buffoons, what I’m missing out is spending time with you right now. So tell me about work. Who am I going to go mess up once I’m back in Boston?”

You laugh and spend the rest of the night telling him about work, him telling you about the game, and just talking like you do whenever you spend the night together.

It had to be about four in the morning in Boston when he finally said, “Hey, Y/N?”

“Yeah?” you drag out, sleepy and struggling to stay awake.

“I love you.”

He had never said that before. You sit up, suddenly feeling a burst of energy. “I love you, too.”

“I’m gonna turn in, we have an early day tomorrow to get to Los Angeles. I’ll call you at some point tomorrow?”

“Ok. Goodnight.”

“Goodnight.”

No matter what, he would keep you on that tightrope. He would be there to catch you if you fell, wherever he was.

#jake debrusk #jake debrusk imagine #boston bruins #boston bruins imagines #bruins #bruins imagines #nhl #nhl imagines #hockey #hockey imagines #tightrope

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anotherashley · 5 years ago

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Just wanted to say that I’m very much looking forward to reading DH, and if you ever wanted to write a story inspired by your tags on that Blackhawks au photoset I’d be happy to be your personal cheerleader because you’re so talented and that tag-fic was really interesting and well done

ajsdhfskjd you’re so sweet! thank youuuuu. sorry it took me a few days to respond to this. with your suggestion, i got caught up in the idea of writing a little something for those tags about: the hawks as an amateur team that have a youtube channel where they record their lives. and your message made me wanna put something down. it’s not much but i hope you like it, anon! 💙

“Sharpy, if you don’t get that fucking phone outta my face…” Jonny starts.

Patrick can’t see his expression as he’s currently bent over tying his skates, but he can imagine the exaggerated frown tightening over Jonny’s mouth.

Ever since Sharpy realized the Hawks YouTube channel gets an uptick in views and subscribers when he shows Patrick and Jonny together he’s been relentless. He’s been incessant. Every corner they turn, every quiet moment of peace, there’s Sharpy with the camera, recording every tiny little thing they do, hoping to catch something he deems appropriately “cute”.

Patrick’s been over it since week five of the six months the team has already had this channel. But he could probably handle it on the basis that it was for the team to have some fun, only he’s not currently having any fun. Not when Sharpy’s like a shark in blood filled waters, trying to sniff out when he thinks him and Jonny might have a moment.

It’s caused Patrick to be more reserved recently. Less willing to touch Jonny, even casually, when the cameras are around. It’s not about the team. The team knows they’ve been together since they were basically pre-pubescent pimple faced kids. They don’t care. They know him and Jonny are stupid over each other, incapable of not being codependent, usually never farther than ten feet apart.

It’s olds news.

But forty thousand people…that’s a fuck ton of people. People looking and seeing. And Patrick’s maybe a little shy when he’s not on the ice. Maybe a little private. Maybe a whole lot protective of what he and Jonny have. So if he’s not reached out for Jonny’s hand recently when the cameras are rolling, hasn’t kissed him before they leave the locker room before a game, or cuddled up with him on the team bus as much, it doesn’t have a single thing to do with Jonny.

It’s just the cameras and all the eyes he knows are possibly watching.

That doesn’t stop Jonny from hating it, from being grouchy at being denied his hourly dose of affection. He hasn’t taken even a speck of it out on Patrick. He’s not that kind of boyfriend, captain, teammate, or person. But it’s certainly not stopping him from snapping at Sharpy trying to catch a soft second between them to get a sponsor for their next Hawks video.

“Lighten up, Tazer,” Sharpy teases. “I’m giving the fans what they want and that’s your pretty face.”

Jonny growls, but doesn’t look up from where he’s taping his stick.

Skates now tied Patrick sits up and leans into Jonny’s side, doesn’t immediately move away. It feels good, to let himself touch Jonny even in this small way and even if Sharpy will joyfully exploit it - for views. Views that equal money.

It’s true they could all use some new equipment, that each and every one of them is probably playing with semi-broken or taped together items that shouldn’t be used any longer. They wear old, torn jersey’s half the time, share a locker room with a peewee triple A hockey team named the Gators on Mondays and Wednesdays, a middle-aged men’s curling club on Thursdays, and a girl’s high school figure skating competition squad on Tuesdays.

Their team bus is a thirteen year old Chevy Express van driven by Steeger with a sticky clutch and windows that don’t roll all the way down.

And their Hawks logo is a removable carpet.

So yeah, the team could use some extra money.

“You’re asking for it,” Patrick laughs.

“I’ll risk it for a new helmet. Don’t you want a new helmet, Kaner?”

“My helmet’s in perfect condition,” Patrick says primly. “My shin pads however…”

Sharpy snorts. “I could make a joke here but I’ll refrain because I’m a gentleman and a scholar.”

Jonny reaches out lightning fast and tries to swipe at Sharpy’s phone.

“Hey! Hands off the merchandise! And be kinder to Kaner’s knees,” Sharpy says and barks out a little scream when Jonny attempts to lunge at him again. But then he’s up and moving away, finally, to go bother Seabs and Duncs.

“What’s up?” Seabs says when Sharpy shoves the phone in his face and asks him what he thinks the Hawks odds are for beating the Wisconsin Wolves.

Looks like Seabs just finished his seven seven-minute game night rituals just a beat before and it’s the only reason Sharpy’s currently safe to be near that corner of the locker room.

“Pretty good, wouldn’t you say, bud?” he asks Duncs, who’s sitting next to him.

“Absolutely, bud,” Duncs agrees.

“Their goalie’s a sieve. We’re goin’ to rock it!” Seabs says.

“Rock out with our cocks out!” Duncs adds.

A cheer goes up from around the room.

“What are the chances Sharpy starts editing out all of the cuss words to make the new videos more family friendly?” Jonny whispers in Patrick’s ear and Patrick shivers, just a little. He leans into Jonny just a bit more.

“He’d have to edit out Duncs completely then because I can’t remember the last time he went more than two sentences without saying ‘fuck’ this or ‘fucking’ that.’

Jonny grins, amused. ”Lots of “fucking” - that’s for sure.”

“Maybe lots tonight?” Patrick asks. “Without the rest of the team.”

Jonny’s eyes darken and he leans in, like he’s thinking of kissing Patrick, but stops himself. “Definitely lots tonight. Definitely without the team. Definitely with you under me.”

Patrick feels himself flush and he ducks his head.

He stands to shove on his jersey with the loose and fraying threads at the bottom when Q and Jeremy and come into the room for the pre-game pep talk.

“Listen up, you fucks!” Q barks, and Sharpy turns the camera on him. “The last time we played these cheese hosers we got blown out five to three. That’s embarrassing for me, that’s embarrassing for you, that’s embarrassing for the mommies that birthed you!”

“So embarrassing!” Jeremy echoes, ever Q’s shadow.

“Let’s go out tonight and show them who their real daddies are!” Q shouts.

The boys shout too.

“Who are their daddies?” Jeremy says. “You are!”

Q shoots him a narrowed eyed look. The rest of the room shoots him a look. Jeremy slinks back against the wall.

“Anyway,” Q says. “Starting line up tonight we’ve got: Sharpy, Tazer, Kaner.”

Clapping starts up.

“With Seabsie and Duncs on the blue line.”

More clapping.

“And Crow in net. Go get that win boys!”

Jonny stands and goes through his usual captain hype talk, with Seabs and Duncs jumping in as the rest of the team stands, collecting themselves into a line to head out onto the ice.

“Sharp, put the fucking phone away,” Q says at the back of the room.

“Putting the phone away!” Sharpy says and moves in line behind Buff.

“Now let’s fucking go out there and kick this one in the ass, boys!” Jonny says, from behind Patrick.

Patrick turns slightly, smiling up at Jonny and tugs on the front of his jersey. “Ferda?”

Everyone is around while they all get ready to shuffle into the hallway but no one is paying them any attention. And maybe it doesn’t matter if they were.

He pushes up and pecks the corner of Jonny’s mouth, then his chin. Jonny’s face lights up, his smile so bright everything else around them temporarily fades away.

“Ferda!” Jonny says, pressing his forehead to Patrick’s temple.

The doors to the rink opens and they all shuffle out.

#Anonymous #1988 #mine #my fic

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chychyrun · 8 years ago

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Haus Spring Break Vacation

Okay friends, so a few nights ago at the restaurant where I work (a big tourist trap on the island I live on), a group of college guys on vacation came and caused a ruckus. A few of them got drinks at my bar and we got to talking and (surprise!) they’re all in a frat together. This idea popped into my head and here we are: The Haus Spring Break Vacation™.

(Below the cut bc this turned into a monster, but I ain’t sorry).

Disclaimer- I know nothing about college frats or how college athletic departments finance/budget their seasons. This is most likely entirely inaccurate but I needed to indulge myself with this bullet fic.

At the beginning of Jack and Shitty’s final year at Samwell, there was a very hefty (and when I mean hefty, I mean HEFTY) anonymous donation *coughcoughbobzimmermann* to the Samwell men’s hockey team.

Lardo, as team manager, budgets the season out.

This donation came after that budget had already been set and approved of so, oh no! What are the boys gonna do with all this money?!

Haus meeting after Haus meeting happen and lots of ideas are thrown about- a popular vote being to put it in a vacation jar to save up for a “fucking ‘swasome spring break dudes” (Shitty’s words, not mine).

They ended up splitting the money three ways.

They donated one third of it to the peewee team that has games at Faber on Saturday mornings.

Another third goes to Haus improvements.

Dex very much appreciates that.

And the last third goes into a Haus Spring Break Vacation.

By the time the spring semester comes around, they’ve accumulated enough change from fines and knick knacks that they CAN ACTUALLY GO ON A FUCKING ‘SWASOME SPRING BREAK TRIP

They all rule out Cancun immediately.

End up going somewhere tropical though (gotta get a break from those winters).

I’m thinking Aruba or maybe St. Lucia? I also heard the Bahamas are a cool place to spring break??

Bitty is the planner. He triple, quadruple checks everyone has their passports on the way to the airport, books all of their excursions, reserves the airbnb, etc. etc.

He also makes sure everyone wears sunscreen the second they step outside of the airport (it’s canon, trust me).

It’s his first time going out of the country. He’s very excited about the stamp they put in his passport.

Lardo steps down from her duties as manager of the team for the week. She let’s Bits handle everything and sleeps in her beach chair for most of the trip.

She deserves it.

Shitty is the one who is either a) drunk the entire trip, b) naked on a clothing optional beach, or c) both at the same time.

Snorkeling and drinking do not go well together but he makes it work

Jack hasn’t been this relaxed in months. Doesn’t take a call from his agent for a whole week- it’s amazing.

His Canadian blood also enjoys the break from the winter (no matter how many times he says he’s “not cold”, everyone needs a break from snow at some point).

And, oh! The pictures he takes!

Holster and Ransom are just their normal golden retriever selves, just with a lot more sand to play around in.

They start karaoke at every bar they go to, even if there is no karaoke machine available.

Holster’s shoulders fry to death but HE’S ON AN ISLAND WITH HIS BEST FRIENDS! WHO THE FUCK CARES ABOUT A SUNBURN WHEN HE’S HAVING THIS MUCH FUN!

Chowder falls in love with the island so much he’s gonna try to convince Farmer to move there after they graduate.

He can talk to anyone, and that includes the locals. Everyone loves him.

Meets a strange man with dreadlocks named Johnson who says he backpacked there from the Boston area. Johnson tells Chowder that being in a fictional universe let’s him do anything he wants to do- so he chose the island life above anything else. He also looks at Jack and Bitty a lot. Strange.

He loves the culture on the island. So much history and the language and the FOOD!!!

Bitty arranges for a surprise shark cage diving trip. Chowder cries when he sees a real life shark in it’s natural habitat.

When he get’s home, he makes a power point to show Cait why they should move to said island. (Spoiler alert- they move, get married, raise lots cute beach babies, and live happily ever after.)

Nursey sleeps next to Lardo on a beach chair a lot.

Absolutely loves the chill Caribbean way.

Drinks a lot of beer.

Only plays beach volleyball with the boys because it’s hilarious to watch Shitty try to serve after he’s had a few too many daiquiris.

Then he proceeds to fall because of laughing so much. But it doesn’t hurt for once (thank the lord for soft sand.)

Dex, oh poor Dex. Stays under any available shade but doesn’t let his sunburn-prone skin stop him from having the time of his life on this trip.

Goes on the shark diving trip with Chowder and posts lots of pictures of him on Instagram.

Jack and Bitty leave the gang a lot to do their own adventures.

They rent a car one day to further explore the island. They forgot the bug spray but it was a great day.

Regardless of maybe possibly getting Zika.

Jack reserves dinner at a super expensive water front restaurant for the two of them. (And he still doesn’t know about his feeLINGS FOR BITTY. Meanwhile, Bits is having the internal gay panic of “is this a date or is he just being nice?”) (It’s a date even if none of them realize it.)

Jack grabs Bitty’s hand out of fear while they were snorkeling because he saw a fish that got a little too close for his liking. Jack is lowkey terrified of the ocean but doesn’t want to admit it.

And the most important bullet point on this post;

JACK AND BITTY RUBBING SUNSCREEN ON EACH OTHER’S BACKS

Dex and Nursey don’t argue at all. That’s the magic of some Vitamin Sea.

Everyone has a genuinely great time on this trip and they all agree to try to make it happen again one day.

Who knows, maybe Jack will buy a yacht and they can all go island hopping in the summertime??

#this was so fun to write y'all had no idea #I even made a cameo mwahahaha #mine #omg check please #cp #eric bittle #jack zimmermann #shitty knight #lardo duan #nursey #dex #chowder #zimbits

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flauntpage · 7 years ago

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How to Fix the NHL, a League That's Broken

We don't need a big intro. The NHL is broken in countless ways. Let's fix the NHL.

1) Get rid of the salary cap. The salary cap unfairly depresses salaries and creates parity, the most boring thing in sports. I used to be a very big proponent of salary caps so everything would be "fair," but I was an idiot. If you own a team and want to spend $100 million on it, let's go. Can't keep up with the spending? Too bad, find a new way to win. I could do 10,000 words alone on this but a salary cap hinders a lot of fun things in sports, like trades, free agency, and the ability to earn so much money that I can eventually buy the Miami Marlins after I retire.

2) Get rid of the draft. My fallback here is "get rid of the draft lottery," but again, the draft unfairly suppresses earning ability. Rich people are only in favor of a free market as long as they're the ones that get to exploit it. Let's replace the draft with a recruiting system like in the NCAA, where if you make a good enough pitch to an available player, that player will come to your team. Sure, this favors big-market clubs but too bad.

Every system for bringing workers into the NHL will have a flaw, but this one will have players like Rasmus Dahlin sitting at a table with five hats in front of him and his mom next to him. Then he will move his hand toward the Coyotes hat before laughing and putting on the Maple Leafs hat. I need that.

Listen to the latest episode of Biscuits, VICE Sports' hockey podcast

3) Get rid of fighting. Yeah, yeah. I pee sitting down and if I don't like fighting I should go play tennis or whatever. You know what? Fuck you. There's nothing wrong with peeing while sitting down and people actually watch tennis so maybe let's consider going with what that sport does, which is not allow the 567th-ranked player in the world fight Roger Federer to fire himself up. We're at a point where most fights are staged goon-on-goon affairs so if you're still into that, go watch a game from 1983 when nobody knew how to skate.

4) The FIEGI playoff format. You know it. You love it. Let’s do it.

But really, we need to get rid of this divisional nonsense. Let's meet in the middle and go to a 1-8 format. Stop changing things nobody wants changed.

5) Leaving your feet to block a shot is a penalty. I hate when sports reward no-talent try-hards, and hockey rewards them more than any other sport. It boggles my mind when people get pumped about a fourth-line penalty killer sliding to block an Alex Ovechkin bomb from the face-off circle. Seriously? You don't want to see where that slapper was headed?

This would increase goals and reduce injuries. You can dive to take away the puck if you're in chase mode, but no more squaring up a shooter and sliding in front of the shot. Remember when John Tortorella took over the Canucks and people were excited about the Sedins blocking shots? The Sedins! Get out of here with this nonsense.

6) Bigger nets. Let's go three inches vertically and horizontally and see what happens. I've heard the argument against this idea because goalies would eat more blasts in the mask but whenever that happens, it's always by accident and it's always with the goalie on his knees well below the crossbar. If anything, creating more room around the goalie's skull would reduce those instances but really, shots to the mask are always accidental and wouldn't go anywhere either way. More goals, though. Let's get more goals.

7) Puck off the netting is in play. If there's one general thing I'd change about the NHL, I'd reduce the number of whistles during games. Hockey sells itself on flow and speed, but man can there be a lot of whistles. I don't understand why shots that hit the protective netting above the glass can't be played when they bounce back onto the ice. Everyone has had time to adjust to the netting over the years and everyone knows when a puck leaves a stick if it's headed toward the netting. When it bounces behind the goal line, go get it. Keep playing.

For the sake of fairness, anything off the netting and into the net off the goalie doesn't count.

8) No more offside. This also means no more offside reviews. Everyone is happy. Why do we even have offside? If I could go back in time, I'm killing Hitler and kidnapping the guy in 1898 or whenever who was so passionate about an offside line. It's not like the offside line makes the game safer; it's there to give the defense an advantage against oncoming opponents. Why?

Removing offside is another way to get some whistles out of the game and help with flow.

9) Home teams wear white, road teams wear dark. Bring it back.

10) One outdoor game per year. I know I've stumped for giving one to every team every year, but the realistic solution to this dying gimmick is to return to playing one game per year on New Year's Day—EVEN IF THE NFL IS PLAYING THAT DAY. What a cowardly league, afraid to go up against Week 17 of the NFL schedule, which is always terrible. The NHL was like, "We are taking over January 1! Try to stop us!... but hey if there's a Giants-Falcons game that day, we can play on January 2, no problem, sorry for yelling."

And now, we break to hear from the people:

I agree. Blackouts are stupid. If you paid to watch the game on your mobile device, you can do that. Motion passes.

I normally would be on board but now that I'm running the league the idea of shortening the schedule and taking money out of my pocket doesn't work for me. Motion denied.

Yes. Public shamings for any referees that blatantly ignore penalties because they want "the players to decide the game." Do your job. I'm also making referees available to the media after every game—regular season and playoffs. Face the music, fellas!

And now, back to my genius ideas:

11) Referees must explain every video review ruling. I need more than "the call on the ice stands" or "the call on the ice has been overturned." Tell me why! It's not always clear! I don't need a 1,000-word explanation, just the basic reasoning. This is very important for goalie interference reviews. Was the goaltender outside the crease when he was contacted? Did you determine the contact wasn't enough to disrupt the goalie? What's particularly annoying is after the non-explanation explanation, you know what refs do? They go to the bench and explain the decision to the coach! Fuck that coach! What about me?

12) A 3-2-1 points system. Three for a regulation win, two for an overtime/shootout win, one point for an overtime/shootout loss. Rewarding teams with the same amount of points for a 7-0 thumping and a 1-0 win in a breakaway contest or three-on-three competition is asinine. You know it. I know it. Let's change it. Get your artificially inflated point totals for the sake of parity and making teams look better than they are out of here.

13) No more in-game coach interviews. Anyone conducting or participating in an interview with a coach on the bench during a game is subject to 10 years in prison and a $500,000 fine. The network will lose broadcast privileges for 25 years. It's time we got tough on this. Nobody wants these. Fans don't. Coaches don't want to talk to Pierre McGuire. Hell, let's give Pierre the benefit of the doubt and say he has no interest in doing it. Then who are these interviews for? "Honey, hurry up and get back here, Brian Boucher is going to ask Peter DeBoer about the Sharks' start!" Never again.

14) No more in-game, between-periods player interviews. How did this ever get started? After watching 20 minutes of hockey, I need an out of breath guy to tell me about being harder on the puck and getting pucks in deep and any other hockey cliché he can muster in 30 seconds? Just throw it back to the studio or to a commercial break. Again, who are these interviews for?

15) Fans pick everyone at the All-Star Game. We cut Colin Campbell completely out of the process (which is a good starting point for anything you do that's hockey-related) and let fans vote in any player they want. An All-Star Game full of goons? Sure. If we actually let fans pick all the players, what's the most likely outcome? That the entire Chicago Blackhawks team gets voted to the game, right? And is there anything the NHL loves more than a Blackhawks game? So we get a Blackhawks vs. Pacific game? This idea makes everyone happy.

16) Unrestricted free agency begins two years after your entry-level deal expires. As of now, 25 is pretty much the age when players can explore free agency but that number is almost always higher because teams buy UFA years and that player winds up getting there when he's 29 and on the downside of his career. I'm trying to get players to market when they are 23, which I'm sure is still a flawed idea but I'd like to care about July 1 again and I'm sure other fans would, too.

17) One interconference game between teams per season. Do the Jets really need to play the Panthers twice? Who is dying for a home-and-home between the Islanders and Flames? The current rule exists so you can see the stars in your building once a year, but come on, it's 2018. It's not 1988 when Wayne Gretzky was someone you saw for eight seconds on SportsCenter every third night; it's 2018, when you can watch every Connor McDavid shift and postgame interview on your phone.

Take those excess dates and use them for games within your conference or division. McDavid comes to your building once every two years. That should be enough. By 2025, you'll be able to buy an app that allows you inside McDavid's head a la Being John Malkovich, so let's bag this twice yearly Oilers-Lightning matchup and let those teams play rivals one more time instead.

18) Mandatory Olympics. We are going to the Olympics every four years whether they are in Vancouver or on the surface of Jupiter.

19) World Cup in years between Olympics. And then we play our silly cash grab with Team North America and Team Europe so we have a best-on-best tournament every two years. The games are always in North America. Sorry, rest of the world.

20) Get rid of the trapezoid. Martin Brodeur retired nearly three years ago. We don't need it anymore. If anything, allowing goaltenders to play more pucks would result in more goals because most goaltenders play the puck like they've never seen a puck in their lives. I want more goals with the goalie behind the net with his arms in the air or with him on his back.

Time for another interlude to hear from fans:

We gave Atlanta two cracks at the NHL and it didn't work out. Sometimes things aren't meant to be. Denied.

Yes. I will hire a Senior Vice President of Ball Sitting Prevention. Motion passes.

Unpaid labor for five years? Please wait here while security escorts you from the building. Denied.

Oh look it's more great stuff from me:

21) You can't ice the puck while shorthanded. I'm on the fence about this because teams will just ice the puck and create more whistles, but it has to generate more power-play goals so let's do it.

22) Power plays at the start of a period begin in the offensive zone. Let's say you draw a penalty with six seconds to go. Those six seconds are almost useless. Yeah, you can score off a draw but it's hard. Then the next period starts and the faceoff is at center ice. If you win the draw, you need to circle back, organize your rush, and if everything goes perfectly when you set up, you've lost 30 seconds of 5-on-4 time due to circumstances beyond your control.

Drop the puck in the offensive zone, this way if you win the draw clean, you're set up and have close to a full power play.

23) Ban the shootout. Earlier, when I said one point for a shootout win or loss, I was lying, because the shootout has been abolished and we now play 3-on-3 until someone scores. Personally, I think 3-on-3 is as dumb or dumber than shootouts, but you people seem to like it so let's compromise and play 3-on-3 until someone scores to avoid shootouts.

24) Overtime goes until someone scores. Yeah, like it says. If you can play 5-on-5 in the playoffs until 1 AM, you can play beyond five minutes at 3-on-3 in the regular season.

25) 3-on-3 wins are separated from regulation wins in tiebreaker. I quietly seethe when I see that the current tiebreaker lumps regulation and overtime wins together when overtime wins are just as stupid as shootout wins. But we don't have the shootout anymore so regulation wins are all we care about in this brave new world.

26) Organ music only during stoppages. I know this makes me seem old but they've been playing popular music during stoppages since I was a kid and enough already. Exceptions include playing "Take On Me" because it's cool when the crowd sings along and you can do a theme night if a famous musician just died. Play all their hits during every stoppage. Otherwise, organ.

27) High sticking penalties can be challenged. It doesn't happen a lot, but it happens enough where we need a safety net against guys being issued high sticking penalties when really the guy who got hit in the face was hit by his own teammate's stick. It's easily correctable and should never take more than a minute.

28) "Original Six" results in prison time. If anyone is caught using the term "Original Six" you will receive 25 years to life in a federal prison.

29) Any head contact results in an ejection and is reviewable. I understand that hockey is fast and you can wreck a guy's head with a "clean" hit that gets torso first, but aren't we at a point medically where we can say it's way too easy to destroy a brain? Do we really need a guy wiping out another guy with a "clean" open-ice hit that renders him unconscious?

The point of a check is to separate the other guy from the puck so you can take it. "Clean" hits involving the head almost always result in the receiver of the hit needing medical attention, which stops the game and defeats the purpose of the hit. There's nothing wrong with slowing the game in the context of these hits, which will all be reviewed so no one is ejected for the wrong reasons.

There's no reason to condone any head hits.

After that, let''s go to the phones one last time:

So two guys to the box for roughing and we play 4-on-4? Done. Motion passes.

This goes without saying. Motion passes with ease.

Yes, but the independent party will be me, dispensing justice free from the CBA, NHLPA or owners. I am judge, jury, and executioner. When I take over the league on Tuesday, Zac Rinaldo is out of the league by Friday. Motion passes.

Now let's wrap it up:

30) You can kick pucks for goals. If you think this is dangerous but are still steaming over me minimizing hitting in the previous rule change, take a deep breath and realize this rule is way less dangerous than mashing a guy in the head. People seem to think that if kicking is allowed it's going to result in sliced tendons, but the opportunities to kick pucks are so few and far between. Guys aren't digging in a goalies pads with their skates.

Also, one fewer thing we have to review.

31) The trade deadline is one week before the end of the regular season. You lose your star center with four games to go? Well, guess what! In my league, you still have time to trade for another one before the playoffs begin.

32) Hand passes are legal everywhere. What percentage of hand pass whistles are for actual hand passes? Most of them are just accidental deflections and redirections with the glove that happen to go to a teammate in the neutral zone. These whistles are also flow killers. I understand we have to get to commercial breaks three times per period so if we adopt all my rules we can go to commercial after goals when necessary.

33) All broadcasts need a shot total graphic on the screen at all times. I used to hate it but now I can't live without it. If I turn on a game and it's 0-0 at the 10-minute mark of the first period, seeing the shots are 8-1 tells me something about the game.

34) Linesmen can call penalties. You know what linesmen have? Eyes. You know what else? Whistles. You know what else besides that? Arms that can be raised into the air. Linesmen are basically the neighborhood kids that pretend they didn't see a crime because they don't want to be rats. If you see something, say something.

35) No more Lady Byng Trophy. Jesus, who cares? Gentlemanly play? You won't find a dumber award nobody in the world cares about than this one. "Here you go, I found a guy with a lot of points and very few penalty minutes and this is your trophy for that random collection of attributes." Let's melt it down and use it to add another level to the Stanley Cup.

36) NBC can't broadcast games anymore. We gave it a try. Time to find someone else willing to air this sport in America. Doesn't matter who. Split the package between Lifetime and TruTV. Stream games on Pornhub. I do not give a shit.

37) NHL.com’s stats page is overhauled. Sure, fixing the stats page will take 10-20 years but I will have the world's best minds on it for as long as it takes.

38) Every team needs one person wearing a 69 jersey. Someone on the roster needs this. It will boost jersey sales league-wide by about 69 percent.

39) Radar guns. The speed of every pitch in a baseball game is posted on a scoreboard, so why can't NHL arenas do it for slap shots? It's weird that we don't know how hard an Alex Ovechkin bomb is. It would be cool to look up at the scoreboard and see that PK Subban blast was 98 mph. The NHL shouldn't be behind MLB in anything.

40) You can't put the goalie back on the ice after an icing. Ever notice that when you ice the puck, you can't change personnel, but if you do it with the goalie pulled for an extra attacker, you can put the goalie back out there? That bullshit ends under my watch.

41) Delay of game penalties for goalies freezing the puck outside the crease. Sometimes a goalie will be above the crease and he'll make a save that sticks in his pads. Fine. Can't penalize that. But what about when goalies come out of the crease to catch a high dump-in to avoid the short hop? That's a penalty! Why do we allow that? I hate it and it's out.

42) Puck over glass is no longer a penalty. I love power plays and goals as much as anyone, but the punishment does not fit the crime. Treat it like an icing. The offending team can't change players and the face-off is in the offensive zone.

But besides that, I wouldn't change anything.

This article originally appeared on VICE Sports CA.

How to Fix the NHL, a League That's Broken published first on https://footballhighlightseurope.tumblr.com/

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