#I even made a cameo mwahahaha

[ahsokasupremacy]

Alright, here are my Top Ten funniest guesses (+1 that I bet nobody ELSE will guess) for who Inquisitor Marrok actually is!

You are most welcome to correct me or let me know who YOU think is most probable.

And just to challenge myself, I’m NOT putting Ezra. Because that would be too obvious.

1. Barriss Offee

I’m serious when I say that this is probably the most likely.

We know that she is a very important character in Ahsoka’s life, the writers could be trying to mislead us into thinking that the Force User is a man when really we have no confirmation that they are. Plus Dave Filoni has said in interviews that he refused to have the character make cameos just because he wanted to save her for later. Also, many people already speculated that Barriss became an Inquisitor after Order 66, explaining the double-sided Inquisitor lightsaber.

2. Darth Maul

Their build is a little too skinny for Darth Maul, and also wow, he must really be getting up there. And also, he died in Rebels. But when has that really ever stopped Disney from resurrecting him? I just think they should keep bringing him back. For the bit. I want the opening scroll for the upcoming Daisy Ridley movie to contain the words “Somehow, Darth Maul returned…”

3. Bo Katan

I highly doubt this because her character arc on the Mandalorian is already concluded, but I can kinda see her doing this as like, a side gig. Homegirl is probably broke from paying off Mandalore’s restoration fees. She’s not a Force User unfortunately, but when has that ever stopped her? I like to believe that Bo Katan simply woke up one day and decided to be Force Sensitive and it all kinda worked out for her somehow.

4. Lux Bonteri

If this is the option David Filoni is going with, BOOO. Yet another character who isn’t Force Sensitive. If you really think about it, Dave Filoni probably wants to include someone with an important history with Ahsoka, someone close to her that she held dear and that betrayed her and that she still has lingering feelings for.

Well actually that person is Barriss, and yknow, she kinda went MIA. Sooo the next best thing we could get is Lux, I guess!

5. Anakin (Force Ghost)

Daaaad, what are you doing here?

Well, the ghosts of Obi-Wan and Yoda told him to fuck off and get a job. So here he is. He’s putting in the work! He’s logging onto his Zoom! Ahsoka is gonna be sooo surprised when he finally takes off the mask and reveals it was him along. Just you wait! It’s gonna be so funny!

6. Korkie Kryze

Now we’re really starting to get big brained here.

In Legends, we have Jacen Solo. In the sequels, we have Kylo Ren.

But in the Brand New Republic era? Hark, a new villain arises. Korkie is embittered about being left behind and forgotten by his biological parents, Satine and Obi-Wan. And now he is out for revenge against all the Force Users and Mandalorians who abandoned him. Mwahahaha. We should’ve known he would turn out like this, he’s a ginger after all.

7. Ventress

This would technically make Dark Disciple non-canon? But I don't think Dave Filoni cares, considering he hilariously made the Ahsoka novel non-canon. Ventress is obviously very powerful and capable of dual-wielding and she would make a great candidate for an Inquisitor. Plus her and Morgan Elsbeth are both former Nightsisters so points for rapport.

8. Anakin’s Evil Clone

Hey, I mean Palpatine HAD to start somewhere, right? He didn’t just create Snoke without practice. I like to think he tried making a second Anakin at first, only to discover that Clonakin was a huge pain in the ass and doesn’t wanna follow orders just sit on the couch all day eating the space equivalent of Hot Cheetos.

9. Cal Kestis but he’s evil now

This one pretty much goes against everything we know about Cal but hey, I’ll take a live action Cal cameo any day now. I’ve been on the frontlines defending my babygirl Anakin since day one, don’t even try to lecture me about the ethics of stanning Darksider Cal.

9. Mara Jade

OK no more messing around!! I'm serious this time!

EVERYONE LISTEN CLOSELY!

I think the reason why Dave hasn't made any references to Eli, or Ar'alani, or Vahnya must be because he grew up on the 80s Legends trilogy (not the canon trilogy). Whenever Thrawn is mentioned, there is a direct reference to Heir to the Empire. The same novel where Mara Jade is introduced as the Hand of the Emperor. Coincidence? I think not! Obviously, this must be part of Dave Filoni's master plan to softlaunch the upcoming top secret Thrawn series adaptation.

10. Starkiller

My only real proof is that his name (Marek, Marrok) kinda sounds similar?

Making Starkiller canon would create a whole bunch of problems for the Star Wars timeline. I think his origin story is too Mary Sue-y for even Dave Filoni to try and integrate into current canon.

However, it would be interesting to see a showdown between Anakin's two former apprentices. Interesting, but unlikely.

And finally, for my last guess, I will tell you exactly who Marrok REALLY is. Kathleen Kennedy told me personally, so don't get mad at me! She said it, not me!

11. Luuke (the clone Palpatine made out of Luke's dismembered hand)

This is the ONLY correct answer.

Us Timothy Zahn enjoyers know that this was really Luuke all along. I told you, Snoke isn't the first clone that Palpatine made! I imagine he had a lot of downtime and got bored and decided to fuck around, and that's how we got Luuke.

And yes, I would cast Sebastian Stan to play him because I'm petty AF.

[chychyrun]

Haus Spring Break Vacation

Okay friends, so a few nights ago at the restaurant where I work (a big tourist trap on the island I live on), a group of college guys on vacation came and caused a ruckus. A few of them got drinks at my bar and we got to talking and (surprise!) they’re all in a frat together. This idea popped into my head and here we are: The Haus Spring Break Vacation™. 

(Below the cut bc this turned into a monster, but I ain’t sorry).

Disclaimer- I know nothing about college frats or how college athletic departments finance/budget their seasons. This is most likely entirely inaccurate but I needed to indulge myself with this bullet fic. 

At the beginning of Jack and Shitty’s final year at Samwell, there was a very hefty (and when I mean hefty, I mean HEFTY) anonymous donation *coughcoughbobzimmermann* to the Samwell men’s hockey team.

Lardo, as team manager, budgets the season out. 

This donation came after that budget had already been set and approved of so, oh no! What are the boys gonna do with all this money?!

Haus meeting after Haus meeting happen and lots of ideas are thrown about- a popular vote being to put it in a vacation jar to save up for a “fucking ‘swasome spring break dudes” (Shitty’s words, not mine). 

They ended up splitting the money three ways.

They donated one third of it to the peewee team that has games at Faber on Saturday mornings.  

Another third goes to Haus improvements. 

Dex very much appreciates that.

And the last third goes into a Haus Spring Break Vacation.

By the time the spring semester comes around, they’ve accumulated enough change from fines and knick knacks that they CAN ACTUALLY GO ON A FUCKING ‘SWASOME SPRING BREAK TRIP

They all rule out Cancun immediately. 

End up going somewhere tropical though (gotta get a break from those winters). 

I’m thinking Aruba or maybe St. Lucia? I also heard the Bahamas are a cool place to spring break??

Bitty is the planner. He triple, quadruple checks everyone has their passports on the way to the airport, books all of their excursions, reserves the airbnb, etc. etc. 

He also makes sure everyone wears sunscreen the second they step outside of the airport (it’s canon, trust me).

It’s his first time going out of the country. He’s very excited about the stamp they put in his passport. 

Lardo steps down from her duties as manager of the team for the week. She let’s Bits handle everything and sleeps in her beach chair for most of the trip. 

She deserves it. 

Shitty is the one who is either a) drunk the entire trip, b) naked on a clothing optional beach, or c) both at the same time. 

Snorkeling and drinking do not go well together but he makes it work

Jack hasn’t been this relaxed in months. Doesn’t take a call from his agent for a whole week- it’s amazing. 

His Canadian blood also enjoys the break from the winter (no matter how many times he says he’s “not cold”, everyone needs a break from snow at some point). 

And, oh! The pictures he takes!  

 Holster and Ransom are just their normal golden retriever selves, just with a lot more sand to play around in. 

They start karaoke at every bar they go to, even if there is no karaoke machine available. 

Holster’s shoulders fry to death but HE’S ON AN ISLAND WITH HIS BEST FRIENDS! WHO THE FUCK CARES ABOUT A SUNBURN WHEN HE’S HAVING THIS MUCH FUN!

Chowder falls in love with the island so much he’s gonna try to convince Farmer to move there after they graduate. 

He can talk to anyone, and that includes the locals. Everyone loves him. 

Meets a strange man with dreadlocks named Johnson who says he backpacked there from the Boston area. Johnson tells Chowder that being in a fictional universe let’s him do anything he wants to do- so he chose the island life above anything else. He also looks at Jack and Bitty a lot. Strange. 

He loves the culture on the island. So much history and the language and the FOOD!!!

Bitty arranges for a surprise shark cage diving trip. Chowder cries when he sees a real life shark in it’s natural habitat. 

When he get’s home, he makes a power point to show Cait why they should move to said island. (Spoiler alert- they move, get married, raise lots cute beach babies, and live happily ever after.)

Nursey sleeps next to Lardo on a beach chair a lot. 

Absolutely loves the chill Caribbean way. 

Drinks a lot of beer. 

Only plays beach volleyball with the boys because it’s hilarious to watch Shitty try to serve after he’s had a few too many daiquiris. 

Then he proceeds to fall because of laughing so much. But it doesn’t hurt for once (thank the lord for soft sand.)

Dex, oh poor Dex. Stays under any available shade but doesn’t let his sunburn-prone skin stop him from having the time of his life on this trip. 

Goes on the shark diving trip with Chowder and posts lots of pictures of him on Instagram. 

Jack and Bitty leave the gang a lot to do their own adventures.

They rent a car one day to further explore the island. They forgot the bug spray but it was a great day.

 Regardless of maybe possibly getting Zika. 

Jack reserves dinner at a super expensive water front restaurant for the two of them. (And he still doesn’t know about his feeLINGS FOR BITTY. Meanwhile, Bits is having the internal gay panic of “is this a date or is he just being nice?”) (It’s a date even if none of them realize it.)

Jack grabs Bitty’s hand out of fear while they were snorkeling because he saw a fish that got a little too close for his liking. Jack is lowkey terrified of the ocean but doesn’t want to admit it.

And the most important bullet point on this post;

JACK AND BITTY RUBBING SUNSCREEN ON EACH OTHER’S BACKS

Dex and Nursey don’t argue at all. That’s the magic of some Vitamin Sea. 

Everyone has a genuinely great time on this trip and they all agree to try to make it happen again one day. 

Who knows, maybe Jack will buy a yacht and they can all go island hopping in the summertime??

[nellie-elizabeth]

The Big Bang Theory: The Change Constant/The Stockholm Syndrome (12x23/24)

Ding dong, the witch is dead! (which old witch?) The wicked witch! Mwahahaha this is the last review for The Big Bang Theory I'll ever have to write!

Cons:

I'm totally willing to indulge in some sentimentality. Twelve seasons is a big accomplishment and so of course we're going to get a lot of sweet, indulgent moments throughout this finale. I can admit that some of them worked perfectly fine. But others... I'm not so sure. See, here's the thing: A plot about Sheldon being selfish and inconsiderate, the others getting upset about it, and then Sheldon apologizing and making a gesture to show how much he really cares, isn't a new idea on this show. It's something they pull off whenever they want to instill some genuine drama into the story. It's like the main conceit of Sheldon's character. I guess it's sweet that he uses his Nobel speech to express his gratitude to his friends, but I'm not entirely sure I felt that the moment was earned. Sheldon's selfishness here wasn't more egregious than usual, and the gang's reactions were only extreme because this is the finale and the narrative needed it to be extreme.

Amy's speech about women in science was sweet on its own, but rings a little awkward in a show so full of sexist behavior. Even here in the finale, Howard has to crack a joke about Bernadette and Penny taking a shower together. I didn't hate the fact that Amy got that moment to shine, but it was a little awkward.

I really shouldn't be surprised that Penny is pregnant. This show disappoints me in pretty much every conceivable way, so the idea of two characters ending the show happily married and yet without children, with no desire for children, was probably too much to hope for. Yes, I know Amy and Sheldon don't have kids, but they seem to want them, and with Penny, we actually got a whole story about how she has decided she doesn't want children. That's a perfectly valid and common choice to make, and I liked that we saw it on this show. So, of course they have to swoop in and change that at the last second.

Since this is a finale, we also have to contend with the things we didn't get to see. After twelve seasons, the only main character to end up single is Raj. Incidentally, he's also the only man of color, and spends most of the show being made to look effeminate in comparison to his male co-stars. I've had big problems with Raj's characterization over the years, and it's odd that his role in the final episode is reduced to a comedy subplot where he ends up meeting Sarah Michelle Gellar on the plane (side note - it was annoying to me that nobody said her real name, and that everyone just kept calling her "Buffy the Vampire Slayer", as if these super-nerds wouldn't know her real name, or as if the audience couldn't be trusted to know this relatively famous actress making a cameo). We also never got a firm resolution to Stuart and Denise, just that they were moving in together. I don't know... at the end of the day, it felt odd that certain characters didn't get the "finale treatment," so to speak. Nothing about Raj's plot thread in this episode felt like it belonged to the last episode ever for him. We didn't even get a mention of Anu. I guess that relationship just ended off-screen. Very disappointing.

Pros:

I like that Amy and Sheldon won the Nobel Prize. This show has a big problem following through with its A-plots, but if there was ever going to be a story big enough to be the final send-off, it would be this major accomplishment for them. I liked the scene at the beginning, with Penny and Leonard so ecstatic and joyous for their friends' accomplishments. That was very sweet, and of course it's sweet that they all decided to stay for Sheldon and Amy's big moment, even when Sheldon was being inconsiderate.

I liked that Howard and Bernadette's final plot thread revolved around them being anxious to be away from their kids. That was a good way of making them feel grounded and sympathetic, which is often something I don't feel for those characters. It was mildly amusing that Stuart was so terrible at babysitting. I also didn't mind seeing the kids in this final episode. It was a good way of remarking on how the episode really is the last one.

While I thought Sarah Michelle Gellar's role here was a little odd, I did think it was funny when Sheldon paused in his speech to ask Raj - "Is that Buffy the Vampire Slayer?" and then she just gives  a little wave. Sheldon's speech was sweet, even if maybe a bit unearned. I particularly liked that he gave everyone their titles, and called Howard an astronaut. That was a subtle nod to the recurring joke of Sheldon never respecting Howard because he doesn't have a PhD.

I liked Amy's makeover, and Sheldon't initial reaction to it, and the fact that Amy decided to feel good about herself and not make it all about Sheldon. Obviously Sheldon was in his head, and undergoing a great deal of stress because of all the changes that came with winning the Nobel. And so Sheldon is predictably rude, but Amy is firm in what she wants and what she likes, and doesn't cave to her husband's unreasonable behavior. It was also nice to see Raj helping out with the makeover, even if I do wish he had had more to do in this finale.

A few other little details I enjoyed: Sheldon and Penny going out for drinks. The two of them have a really compelling friendship that I have actually enjoyed watching over the years. The elevator was funny. That was a consistent gag that provided a unique set piece over the years, seeing scenes as the characters walked up and down the stairs. Pulling that all back to the elevator worked really well for me.

Over the years, I've complained that this show is too low-key, and never takes risks. I will eat my words a little bit here and say that I'm glad this finale didn't try and shake things up too much. Some sitcom finales try to change everything at the last second. Sure, we find out that Penny is pregnant, and Amy and Sheldon win the Nobel... but nobody is moving, nobody is quitting a job or anything crazy like that, so we can imagine that their lives continue to grow and develop over time, but the status quo isn't fundamentally altered. That's kind of refreshing, in a weird way.

And... that's that. For this finale, I will give a score of:

7.5/10

And for the show as a whole? Well... this show is not very funny, and it's frequently insulting and irritating. I'm genuinely relieved that I'll never have to watch it again, and I doubt I'll ever feel compelled to go back and re-watch an episode for nostalgia's sake. All of that compels me to give this show an over-all low score, despite my somewhat fond memories of watching the earlier seasons back in high school.

5/10

[yes-this-is-sam]

WIP MEME

List all the things you’re currently working on in as much or little detail as you’d like, then tag some friends to see what they’re working on. This can be writing, art, vids, gifsets - anything at all!

I was tagged by the extraordinary @sexy-salmon thank you hun!

Aight.... shoot, gotta collect all my notes.

1) Escaping Ostagar:

This one is my only current Dragon Age fic. It’s... been a labour of love. My baby Melisande is a bit of a self-insert, I was maybe trying to use her to get a hold on my own PTSD. Maybe I cared way too much about this damn story. I’ve been working on it since Dec 2016 and it was the very first of my own writing I ever tried to share with anyone. Twice now I’ve given up on it despite having the last 12 chapters planned out. I still want to finish it but... I gotta get to a point where it doesn’t hurt that it got little attention. Like I said, I invested way too much into it. 

2) I Have To Try:

WOOO Currently my most progressed new story-child. Probably going to start posting it soon. Set in Andromeda, it follows none other than a bedraggled Avitus Rix in his new and initially unwelcome role as Pathfinder and the creation of his Pathfinding team. I didn’t like that we didn’t even hear news or anything playing about the other Pathfinder’s efforts to make their own colonies and help in whatever ways they could. A couple cameos where they take back seat to Ryder, which is unfair to ALL of the Pathfinders. Why put the other races and the entire Initiative on Ryder’s shoulders when the others have more experience and just as many resources? Kaetus gets dragged along for the ride, as well as an APEX team led by the fierce ex-Cabal Vitetoria Digeris. 

3) Though This Be Madness:

Hehehe this one certainly lives up to its name more than I expected. The story focuses around the blog’s namesake Samantha Curtis along with her wayward AI OPI, her adopted Batarian family Ragar and Ecetia, and the Krogan she knows way too much about Ganar Jirr. This one I'm taking a step back on to rethink how I'm gonna set it up. Originally it started right before the Initiative left for Andromeda and followed Sam taking on both an incurable illness and the Kett she needs to stay alive AND trying to outrun every faction now after them both.... BUT THEN SAM FELL IN LOVE. She met Rexis Sarex, an adorable troublemaker created by @masseffectoc and now I can’t write them apart. I got permission to include her characters in the story too and IT WILL BE GLORIOUS SHENANIGANS. If I start at the same place I was going to, it’ll still work but miss a lot of character and relationship building. SO I’ll either back up and start from farther back and end up with something as long as goddamn GRRM’s books, or I’ll split it into 2 and make a prequel where Sam and Rex meet and all the characters come together and decide to go with them to Andromeda or not. At least..... the ones who survive. Mwahahaha.

4) Chronicles of Jirr:

Ok, I’ll be the first to admit it. Ganar Jirr was originally just a nameless NPC I randomly created to give Sam a funny story to tell and amuse Rexis. Now he is one of my most dynamic characters I’ve ever made, I think. Affectionately nicknamed Krogan James Bond, by myself, this will be a series of stories told alternate BY him or about him. The ones told by him will probably be ridiculously exaggerated or entirely made up, fair warning. 

5) Blast Off:

This is gonna be a surprise for masseffectoc for her birthdaaaaaay so I'm not gonna say more than I told her. Which is that it’s an addition to Having A Blast, a silly fic pair I made for Sam and Rexis and his obsession with Blasto. 

6) Untitled (thus far):

I recently heard of a 10k word count challenge for the month of March, held by @mebigbang and I’m thinking of doing something for it. It sounds mildly terrifying but an excellent challenge and one I know I can hit the word count on (HA) if my other fics are of any indication. I tagged their blog here so if any artists or authors are interested (there’s an art part as well to Mass Effect Big Bang) you can check it out. I’ve got a couple ideas floating around but given that there’s a level of anonymity I won’t describe them just yet. I don’t wanna break the rules before I decide if I even can jump in. 

7) Post ME3 - currently untitled:

My take on the end of ME3 and how the people I care about make it through, a Garrus/Shep fic. It’s pretty amorphous atm since my OC fics have been taking up much more of my time. 

8) Halfsies:

Alright, this one is... urk. It’s the most conceptualized original idea I’ve had yet to date. It’s one I’ve put together enough to potentially go through on. I just don’t know if I’m good enough to get published and I’ve been so stressed with life stuff going on the last few years I’m still at concept stage. Anyway, premise... let me see if I can even describe this right.

Have you ever seen something out of the corner of your eye and for an instant you know it’s real and you HAVE to look at it but then as soon as you do you explain it away? Oh that was just the shadow off the vase. Damn, my cat scared the shit out of me. Those are Halfsies. Halfsies live halfway been this realm and another and have no form until they’re fully Recognised. They WANT to be Recognised. It is the only driving need they have and they fight viciously for it, to be made Real. Our main character makes a game out of trying to trick herself into believing what startles her is real instead of explaining it away automatically and one day she accidentally makes one Real. The form it takes is exactly what the MC imagined so it’s rather cartoonish and surreal looking, but it immediately grabs the MC and tells it to stop. That ALL of the Halfsies, literally there are no ways to count them because they don’t have form and always create more, now know the MC can make them Real, Recognise them. And they ALL are after the MC now and will do anything, drive them insane if they have to, in order to be made Real. And the MC has to rely on their befriended Halfsie and a few other friends to escape. 

Alright, I know I have more. I ALWAYS have more. But these are the only ones coming to mind right now. 

Tagging @shekissesturians @isharaytaoshay @daddyvictus and @ithewriter