#sorry for just writing you off as the tv website (but also thank u for being the tv website and thank u for the bbc merlin tag)

[sweetings]

it sucks that the only emotion i’ve consistently felt throughout my whole life has been dread. i literally feel sick to my stomach and yet i can’t even imagine what it’d be like to live without having it linger through some part of me. it’s always going to be there, and it’s always been there, and i’m still figuring out how to live with it

[l2demonmoons]

Hi! I love ur writing it’s so nice! I’ve failed a lot of my exams and I rly need a long comfort rengoku x reader🥺 (if that’s ok)

Thank you! Hope u have an amazing day❤️

Hello! It’s been a little while. While we’re still on quite a bit of hiatus, I don’t mind doing something for now while I have some free time! Sorry about your exams, bro :( I’m sure things will get better! Here’s your x reader <3 Also made it a modern reader for obvious reasons- Mod Beast

[Kyojuro Rengoku- Calm night]

You look at the grades on the website, growing more and more weary as you take in each number and digit. 

Fail.

Fail.

Fail.

Tears prick your eyes as you muffle a sob, drawing the blankets closer to you. You tried so hard and yet you still failed. You don’t even want to imagine the look on your family’s faces when they see the semester’s grades.

Kami, they’re gonna—

Your voice is called, loud and clear in a boisterous manner. You draw the blankets closer, sniffling. Ah, that’s right, your boyfriend was coming over today. But that also means facing him, as well.

Once again he calls your voice, his usual cheery tone faltering as he steps closer to your door. You hide your face away, feeling the shame crawl up your neck. 

He opens the door, the fading sunlight and the artificial light streaming in like a river. Rengoku Kyojuro stands in the door, plastic bag in hand full of ingredients of dinner you two are going to cook together. 

“There you are!” he greets with his usual, big smile. “Why are you sitting in the dark like that? You’re gonna hurt your eyesight.”

Like anything could get worse. 

You sniffle, rubbing at your eyes. Kyojuro gets uncharacteristically quiet, his smile fading until it becomes a concerned frown. You flinch away from his intense gaze, burying your face into the blanket.

“Darling, what’s wrong?” he asks, voice also much more soft as he places the bag on the floor. He sits next to you, drawing you in for a hug. You feel like you can’t answer, a shaky finger pointing at your laptop’s screen.

He glances at it, eyes narrowing just slightly. 

“Do you want to talk about it?” he questions, rubbing your back. You shake your head; there would be another time to rant about your feelings, but right now you feel like talking about it would only bring more head—and heart—ache. “How about this then? Let’s go make curry and then we can watch one of those movies you like. Then we can sleep!” 

You smile just slightly, the corners of your lips lifting just so. His cheerful self is contagious, even if you still feel like shit. 

“Yeah, I would be up for that.”

Kyojuro gently helps you out of the blanket cocoon, leading you out into the main area after grabbing the bag once more. You blink hard, eyes adjusting to the light. Kyojuro has his long, unnaturally gold and red colored hair back in a ponytail, gold and red eyes much softer and warm than his usual intensity. He evidently just got off work, white button-up and black slacks still on.

You watch as he brings out the ingredients, giving you the easier stuff to work with. 

“I’ll be doing most of the cooking today! Just hang tight, love!”

You can’t help the little bit of teasing in your throat.

“Just don’t burn my house down,” you chuckle. He grins, ruffling your hair.

“I at least know how to cook curry!” he replies confidently. You start chopping the vegetables, Kyojuro cooking the meat and adding the roux and vegetables as time goes on. He’s rather focused and diligent, something that makes you smile a little more. 

After making the curry and rice, you two sit down at your kotatsu.

“Itadakimasu,” you murmur before eating.

“Itadakimasu!” Kyojuro practically shouts, his gluttonous gusto coming out in full force. You hum, watching with an amused expression as you eat with reservation. Not that you feel like you have to, it’s just… well, you don’t have a big appetite right now. 

After eating you two do the dishes together, him drying while you wash. 

“So, um, how was school today?” you question. 

“Very good! Hashibira-san is doing much better at paying attention! Your suggestion of giving him a stress ball was a great idea, dear!” 

“Ah! I’m glad.”

The last dish is dried, and Kyojuro pulls you over to the couch. He puts on the TV, pulling you close. You rest your head on his chest, gripping his shirt. You don’t realize it, but your eyes are getting blurry again.

“Hey.”

You look up at him, his serious face back as he holds you a little tighter.

“I’m proud of you, love. Everything will be ok.”

You nod, Kyojuro tucking a blanket on your form. 

For now, as snow falls outside, you know his warm embrace is what you need. 

[sergeanttpoliteness]

idk if you’re taking requests or anything, if you aren’t ignore this, but if you are I would die for a classic, upside down spider-man kiss with the loml spider-noir. poor guy would probably be very surprised at first but suddenly its his favorite thing to do. thanks I love you and your work!!

AND➝ mayhaps…. a first kiss with noir? if u have time! 

sorry for answering so late nonnies! i feel so bad about that, i promise i wasn’t ignoring y’all. same goes to the few other requests i have in my inbox right now! 

——-

➹ inconvenient feelings➹ (spider-noir x reader)

word count: 2.5k

a/n: can you tell i had no idea what to call this lol. i didn’t edit either bc… oof. i’ve been struggling a lot with writer’s block (nothing new, honestly lmaoo) lately and someone close to me recently passed away and i haven’t quite… been able to wrap my head around it?? i don’t know, not to be a little bitch but this week consisted of a lot of school stuff, emotions, and anxiety so thanks @ the people who requested this bc i needed to write some wholesome stuff. also thx at my bestie for helping me out w ideas, ily broz. anyway, there’s some minimum ripeter x reader although it’s solely platonic! hope you all have a lovely week (:

taglist: @marvelousmorales

It’s not convenient. Convenient was that one person with the pretty smile whose eyes seemed to possess an affinity to him that one time at a jazz club, or the singer with the honey voice and smooth runs more soothing than the late night singing of a mother to her child. A poor goon who smooched his fist whilst it collided with his face could even fit the designation, really— but what mattered, the simple component they shared, was that all three were just a speck in a sea with no end; an eternal blue void with only more possibilities hiding in the pitch-black depths neither he nor the light’s fingertips could touch. They were safe. Uncomplicated.

Peter stared out the window, at a completely distinct world, far from a city in a vintage film: the ongoing the mechanical song of speeding cars, the newer and taller lit up buildings, the blinking golden lights, identical to a field of a thousand miniscule suns. This was not convenient. It’s… so different— like day and night, water and fire. This meant to swim out of the ocean he belonged to and reach for a foreign land, to run after a mere drop of water when a whole fucking body existed behind him. It’s not safe. It’s complicated.

Your sleepy eyes roamed the same page for the fifth time with no precise purpose, more disoriented than a newcomer in a large city until they traveled and spotted their true destination: Peter’s own sight deeply engulfed in the view outside, the twisting of his brows every now and then filling your mind with wonder and curiosity at what could possibly be running through that brain of his. You could’ve continued with the ogling like the damn creep you were (seriously, you gotta stop it with that, you told yourself), but you slipped and made a mistake— the most laughably absurd misstep— worse than trying to take a picture of a stranger and then, to your utmost terror, the flash going off— which wouldn’t have occurred in the first place if you’d paid your electricity bills on time. Your apartment wouldn’t have been plunged into darkness, and you wouldn’t have, without thinking, your head clearly not in its right place at the moment, slightly tilted your phone and directed your phone’s flashlight right at the side of his face. You quickly pulled the beam of light away, as if that would work; however, his gaze drifted to you. “Sorry.” You blurted out, acting casual and pretending to focus on the journal on your lap. “You were so quiet, I thought you had fallen asleep.” You lied.

“No, I’m awake.” He said, furrowing his brows to himself— of course you already knew that. You mumbled a small ‘good’, holding the notebook close to your face, like a child staring through the window of a pet shop at some puppies, shining the ‘smartphone’, he’d learned, over the pages. You bit your lip, your shoulders shaking with your surfacing laughter.

“Oh, man, this one’s so dumb.” You snickered before running your finger up the paper, clearing your throat. “October 8th, 1999. Today I came back from my camping trip with Peter, Ben, and May. We ate a lot of s'mores— Uncle Ben makes the best! We also told some scary ghost stories, and I even made Pete scream. It was awesome. You will not believe what happened!” You read the last sentence with a dramatic tone, similar to that of a terrible news headline from a sketchy website, making yourself more comfortable on the L shaped bench seat and leaning into Peter’s side.

Peter tensed at first, but slowly, he pushed himself to relax after you rested your head on his shoulder, a quiet voice in the back of his head speaking against his desires, echoing the terrifying thought that he could get used to this. “I don’t know, enlighten me: what happened?” He asked, amused. You lifted your finger, eyebrows raising gradually, building up the suspense. He waited, and waited, and waited, until, finally—

“I have to go eat dinner. I’ll tell you later.” You finished with an unhumorous voice and a poker face. Yet again, he awaited in silence, interested. Man, you took this suspense thing quite seriously— wait.

“And?”

“That’s it.”

“That’s it?!” He looked down at you and you nodded. “Oh, c'mon! You just gonna leave the reader hanging like that?”

You shrugged, wearing a shit-eating grin, loving his genuine disappointment as you flicked the page. “Sometimes that’s just the way it is.”

“Oh, what malarkey!” He laughed softly. You crinkled your nose— malarkey. What a dork.

You resumed scanning the barely discernible handwriting, the corner of your mouth tugging upwards. “Alright, this one does have an ending.” You sat up, rolling your shoulders back only to go back to your position of hunching over the journal. “April 3rd, 2000. I’m sorry I’ve been gone for so long, I forgot I had this journal. Something crazy happened.”

“The end.”

“Shut up.” You shushed him, shaking your head. “'I hung out with Peter today. We rode our bikes, had a race down the hill near my house, and I also got a butterfly to land on my finger. Man, I love insects!’ …and I still do.” You smiled and he glanced down at you, his mouth twitching. A peculiar glow in his chest grew, fueled him after he recognized that you felt comfortable enough to share this part of you with him; an insight on the stories that carved you into the person that you were today, the being that made every classy, pearly white grin and musical prodigy so boring, so undesirable.

You shuffled on your bum to turn and face Peter, continuing, “We came back home to play some more. We were sitting in front of the TV when, suddenly, he said my name, and like a normal person would, I looked at him…” You inclined forward, voice quieting, looking up at him.

“You won’t believe what happened.”

His eyes darted heavenward and he groaned. “Oh, lord.”

“He kissed me!” You cried out, with as much emotion that past you spilled onto the paper with the five exclamation marks and the three times you underlined the sentence. You slammed the notebook shut and let out a strangled clamor. “I still remember it very clearly. It was just a peck, but he fucking… smashed his mouth into mine, it hurt so much and my lip started bleeding and everything.” You giggled, abashed, rubbing your eyes.

Peter’s brows rose with surprise, pondering how an alternate seven-year-old version of him from another universe had more balls than him. He had to admit, though, the scene playing in his head was more entertaining than unfortunate. “And what’d you do?” He questioned, his mouth twitching.

“He was just curious and wanted to see what kissing someone was like, so we promised we wouldn’t talk about it ever again. He was so embarrassed, though, and felt so bad for making me bleed that he almost started crying.” You recalled, chuckling as you eyed the cursed diary one last time and placed it beside you. “What an idiot. I miss him.” You sighed, peering up at him, grinning. “What was your first kiss like, huh?”

It was comical, almost, the raging blush that trickled his face, the greyish tint screaming for the world’s attention. It was just a Peter Parker thing, you guessed: blushing like there was no tomorrow. “Uh, my first kiss?” You nodded. “Well… it happened when I was eighteen.”

You put the side of your head against the wall, eyes going round, your inquisitiveness close to that of a kid listening to a grandparent’s story. “Was it romantic?” You wanted to know everything: who the person was, the place, the context. Did he enjoy it? Did he make the move? And if so, then was there a chance that, maybe…

Unlike you, he did not have much interest in the subject; he stuttered, searching for a way to move on from the memory before he imploded. “I don’t, I don’t think anyone’s first kiss is romantic.”

You squinted at him, noticing his obvious attempt at dodging the question, but chose to spare him. Just for a few milliseconds, though. “Have you ever had… a perfect kiss?” You said, unsure of how to word such a silly question. He shook his head and you hummed, silently taking in a quick breath, your gaze moving to your right. “Have you thought about what you want it to be like?”

Should he say it? He wanted to. He really did. But he couldn’t, even if his eyes almost flickered down to your lips. “Who thinks about that?” He muttered. Perhaps he had. Perhaps he’d been guilty of having the thought slither into his mind once or twice— possibly more than just that. Perhaps it’d pestered his mind as of recent, like that damn small scratch on his glasses that won’t go away no matter how many times he tried to wipe it away as if that would even help. Perhaps it returned as you unconsciously licked your lips and raised your shoulder, a bashful grin growing on your face.

“I have, when I’m bored. An upside down kiss with a cute guy.” You admitted, your eyes narrowing afterward, only just now realizing how bizarre the idea was once you said it aloud. Your impatience throbbed in your head so badly you didn’t mind the embarrassment as much, though. You really were doing this, huh? “I think I found the cute guy.” You hinted, your heartbeat pounding in your throat.

He understood the insinuation, of course he did. But what better way to run from your feelings than close his trembling hand into a fist, pretend to be clueless, and act like an idiot?

“Who’s the lucky fella?”

Didn’t think he was so stupid, you grumbled in your head, masking your faint irritation. You pressed your lips together, sight on your cushions. “Someone I like quite a lot.” You vaguely said, voice distant. “Though I don’t think you’d understand— you’re not one to fall in love, no?”

It was half a joke but half a real question, one with solely one right answer you yearned to hear from him if you got lucky enough. Peter blinked nervously, fear burning in his stomach, clenching his insides as his tongue dared to break free from his control, from his cowardly spell. “Lately I’ve had someone in mind.” He breathed out, close to breaking out in a sweat. He watched how your eyes dimly lit up, hesitance impeding the light from fully glowing.

“Really? And who is this ‘someone’?”

“It’s a secret.”

“Tell me.”

“Not now.” He gulped. You pouted, begging with your eyes. “N-no.”

“Are you ever gonna make a move?”

Peter drew his lower lip between his teeth, feeling dizzy just by thinking about it; the downfall of the relationship once the distance became too much, once the malaise with no cure finally rotted the adoration, infested the heart, decayed it. “No.” Same answer. Same bedeviled word that boomed in his head whenever his emotions were close to getting the best of him.

“Why haven’t you done it yet?” You whispered, not caring anymore about how obvious you were

being. He frowned. Why hadn’t he done it yet?

“I don’t know if I should.”

“Why not?”

Why not? His own thoughts repeated, betraying him. The confusion unlatched the cage, released all the questions and doubts about his reasons and dread. They crowded his brain, rang in his ears. “It’s… it’d be too hard to keep the relationship alive.” He retold more to himself and the storm of interrogations than you.

Your brows snapped together, your own fear knocking on the door again. “Is it not worth it to try, though?” It’s what you’d told yourself: the antidote to unfreeze your limbs and wave goodbye at the concern hanging in there, because… was it not?

In the overwhelming haziness, he finally looked at you. It’s what he needed to come upon a realization, a truth he knew all along but crumbled and threw away. Everything hushed, one single, final phrase in the quiet of it all.

Convenient wasn’t what he wanted.

“It is.” He said under his breath.

You heard him, and your eyes twinkled. “Well, then make the move.”

He couldn’t help it anymore. His eyes found your lips.

“I will.”

You stared at each other for a moment, anticipation never more warming than right then as it fluttered in your chest. To your biggest disappointment, he broke eye contact and stood up. “Close your eyes for a moment.” He ordered, his face indistinguishable in the dark now that he was further away.

“Creepy, but okay.” You huffed, your eyelids fluttering shut. “You better not be running away right now, you’d break my poor ol’ heart.”

“Don’t worry, that’s not the case.” You heard him say. You trusted him, which could’ve been a terrible choice. The total silence that followed didn’t put you to ease at all, honestly. Maybe you annoyed him so much with your questions that he was about to murder you, and if that’s what was happening, you were quite sad, to say the least.

Your eyelids were itching to open and you lifted a brow, straining your ears to distinguish any sign of his presence. “What the hell are you doing?”

“You’re not gonna believe what’s about to happen.”

You snorted at his reference, but his voice was… oddly close. You opened your eyes, and— “Oh, fuck!” You yelped and jumped back in your seat. Damn right you weren’t gonna believe what was about to happen, for Peter dangled from the ceiling right in front of you, upside down.

“Is it too much of a strange idea? I was going to simply stick to the ceiling upside down, but then I thought… that’d be… worse.” He clumsily explained. You looked up at the web he hung from, laughing in disbelief.

“What the hell are you doing?” You repeated, but you weren’t mad— your large smile backed that up. You couldn’t figure out if it was a blush creeping up his face or if it was from the fact that he was upside down. Both, maybe.

“I’m making a move.”

You giggled, glad you confessed what you considered to be a perfect type of kiss to him or else you wouldn’t had witnessed how absolutely ridiculous he looked right now. “So you’re willing to help me check 'kissing someone upside down’ off my bucket list?” You smirked.

He grinned. “It would be my pleasure.”

You bit your lip, placing both hands on his head. “Alright, then.“ 

You leaned forward, the tip of your nose brushing against his chin. You softly kissed the area below his bottom lip to tease him, but he didn’t want to wait any longer. Not after so long. Quickly, he enclosed your own bottom lip with his mouth, lastly fully aware that inconvenient truly was magnificent.

[stevenstudies]

92 questions

i was tagged by @annikki-studies @skkerg-study @colbystudies @carolina-study @ronanstudies @gnarllys @lilliestudies @bellaandherbujo

thank you all so much for the love there!! <3

rules: answer these 92 questions and then tag 20 people!

last:

1. drink: water

2. phone call: the dmv

3. text message: “tru” about not passing my latin AP test and it having been rigged

4. song you listened to: Green Nail Polish by Told Slant

5. time you cried: two days ago

have you:

6. dated someone twice: well i have gotten back together with someone after a two month break so yeas??

7. kissed someone and regretted it: y e s

8. been cheated on: twice : /

9. lost someone special: i mean yeah my grampa died three years ago that sucked

10. been depressed: well like i have depression so you tell me

11. gotten drunk and thrown up: ahhahaha

list three favorite colors:

12. dusty rose

13. sage

14. light yellow

in the last year have you

15. made new friends: yeah like two

16. fallen out of love: no lol

17. laughed until you cried: ye

18. found out someone was talking about you: just now as im writing this i am being informed that my friends have spoken about me yes

19. met someone who changed you: my dog

20. found out who your friends are: yeah the same as i thought they were

21. kissed someone on your facebook list: nah my gf aint on fb suckers

general:

22. how many of your facebook friends do you know in real life: all of them?????

23. do you know any pets: yeah i mean im with one rn and like i also have one he is angery

24. do you want to change your name: yes,, to steven

25. what did you do for your last birthday: puppy party

26. what time did you wake up: 10:30

27. what were you doing at midnight last night: on a call with my distressed friend about significant other troubles

28. name something you cant wait for: top surgery

29. when was the last time you saw your mom: three days ago (thank god)

30. what is one thing you wish you could change in your life: no tiddies

31. what are you listening to right now: no air by jordin sparks

32. have you ever talked to a person named Tom: yes he was my teacher in like 6th grade

33. something that is getting on your nerves: no air by jordin sparks

34. most visited websites: tumblr lmao

more random info:

35. mole/s: i feel like this is a bit personal???

36. mark/s: yeah my best friends uncles name is mark ive heard mediocre things about him

37. childhood dream: i once had a dream when i was like 7 that i was in high school and someone shoved me into a locker and there was an entire universe in there and there was this giant chicken that could fly and so i got on him and he took me to this huge palace and the king was a giant and i had to sing stayin alive by the beegees for him in order to get back home

38. hair color: brown

39. long or short hair: short

40. do you have a crush on someone: my gf and also tom holland

41. what do you like about yourself: i like the way my fingernails grow into really nice shapes like i never have to file them or anything

42. piercings: earholes

43. blood type: N for nunyabeeswax

44. nickname: stevie

45. relationship status: taken as all hell

46. zodiac: aquarius

47. pronouns: he/him

48. favorite tv show: gilmore girls, star trek, over the garden wall, steven universe

49. tattoos: i want them

50. right or left hand: right

51. surgery: hopefully

52. dyed hair: once, dark blue, when it was long

53. sport: never heard of her

54. subtitles or dubbed version: dubbed sorry lmao

55. vacation: im going to catalina island this summer ??

56. toenail color: bright yellow with one black horizontal stripe (like bees)

more general:

57. eating: i just had a turkey burger

58. drinking: water

59. im about to: watch gilmore girls

60. ive been putting off: college apps

61. waiting for: top surgery

62. want: b r u s h p e n s

63. get married: yes definitely

64. career: composer, conductor, film scorer

65. hugs or kisses: hugs always

66. lips or eyes: eyes

67. shorter or taller: my gf is shorter

68. older or younger: my gf is younger

69. can you wiggle your ears without touching them: yes!!

70. nice arms or nice stomach: nice arms all the way honestly

71. sensitive or loud: sensitive where it counts, loud when its fun

72. hookup or relationship: relationship

73. troublemaker or hesitant: hesitant

74. kissed a stranger: no

75. drank hard liquor: hahahaha

76. lost glasses: nope

77. turned someone down: yes like twice or maybe three times

78. sex on the first date: no way

79. broken someones heart: yes i have, it never feels good

80. had your heart broken: yes many times, and that never feels good either

81. been arrested: nope never

82. cried when someone died: yes of course

83. fallen for a friend: yes i McHave

do you believe in:

84. yourself: yes at like a medium level

85. miracles: more than myself

86. love at first sight: more than most things

87. santa claus: yeah till i was 4 

88. kiss on the first date: depends on the situation! : )

89. faeries: i do, i do!

other:

90. current best friend name: will/emma

91. eye color: blue/grey

92. favorite movie: interstellar (best score/plot combo ive come across in a while)

@studying-you @pam-studies @rivkahstudies @jenniferstudiess @arizonastudies @haphazardstudy @studying-chan @beanstudyin

and anyone else who wants to!! i officially welcome all of my followers to do this! and if you do, tag me!! id love to see and learn more about everyone!!

[teamnouis]

leonie @pinkislouder and amber @loveloveolivia tagged me to do this, i’m also in a mood for oversharing so here we go

Rules: Once you have been tagged you are supposed to write 92 truths about yourself. At the end, choose 25 people to tag!

THE LAST… 1. Drink: water

2. Phone call: my boy, he’s a tour de france fanboy and told me everything that happened today 

3. Text message: i texted a friend abt a wedding present we organize

4. Song you listened to: i haven’t listened to music since i drove to work this morning and spotify says my last played song is wincent weiss - mittendrin

5. Time you cried: on saturday cause my anxiety made it impossible to go out for dinner with my mum and i felt so guilty for ruining her evening (i didn’t, but that’s how i felt that night)

HAVE YOU EVER… 6. Dated someone twice: no

7. Been cheated on: idk, kind of? 

8. Kissed someone and regretted it: yes

9. Lost someone special: yes

10. Been depressed: no

11. Gotten drunk and thrown up: yes

LIST 3 FAVOURITE COLORS:

12. rosé

13. white (it’s a colour, fight me)

14. the softest blue

IN THE LAST YEAR HAVE YOU… 

15. Made new friends: yes

16. Fallen out of love:  no (not to be sappy but) i fall more in love every single day

17. Laughed until you cried: yes

18. Found out someone was talking about you: yeah

19. Met someone who changed you: yes, definitely. there are a lot of people i met who taught me that the most important thing in life is to love and accept myself the way i am and even though i’m still not at this point, i’m learning and working every day to get there one day and i’m forever thankful 

20. Found out who your true friends are: yes

21. Kissed someone on your Facebook list: i mean, yes 

22. How many of your Facebook friends do you know in real life: the majority, like 95%?

23. Do you have any pets: no, sadly not. i’d love a dog and i’m thinking abt it every day of my life, but at the moment it wouldn’t be right and fair as i wouldn’t have as much time as the little doggo deserves 

24. Do you want to change your name: no

25. What did you do for your last birthday: it was super chilled, celebrated it at home with my family (that’s easily 25+ ppl) and good food, football and drinks

26. What time did you wake up: 4:45 am 

27. What were you doing at midnight last night: snoring, probably 28. Name something you cannot wait for: for j and me to move in together

29. When was the last time you saw your mother: like five minutes ago

30. What is one thing you wish you could change about your life: even though i do like my job, if i could change one thing i’d change my career and open my own café.. i don’t think i’ll ever be brave enough to do it

31. What are you listening to right now: a blast from the past: fritz & paul kalkbrenner - sky & sand 

32. Have you ever talked to a person named Tom: nope

33. Something that is getting on your nerves: that i’m so damn low on energy 

34. Most visited website: tumblr and youtube

35. Elementary: yeah? good

36. High School: most of the time it was good and a lot fun 

37. College/university: probably the best time of my life so far 38. Hair colour: a dark blonde 

39. Long or short hair: long

40. Do you have a crush on someone: yes, i’m always crushing on j 

41. What do you like about yourself: u know what i don’t like abt myself? that every time this question comes i have to think so hard and can’t think of anything or feel like i shouldn’t be saying this abt myself and then get mad. dshifsfl.. anyway.. someone else has to answer this for me

42. Piercings: no

43. Blood type: absolutely no idea

44. Nickname: thery, resi 

45. Relationship status: in a relationship

46. Zodiac sign: pisces

47. Pronouns: she/her

48. Favourite TV show: gilmore girls, scrubs, gossip girl, modern family, new girl, grey’s anatomy, pretty little liars (fuck them, tbh)

49. Tattoos: nope 50. Right or left hand: right

FIRST… 51. Surgery: i fell off a horse and broke my arm, it was traumatic

52. Piercing: my ears

54. Sport: football was the first i did and the only sport i did for a longer time.. but i’ve tried basically everything as a kid, from athletics to swimming and horse riding and golf and everything else you can think of

55. Vacation: i think it was mallorca or tenerife, my mum nearly lost me on the beach 

56. Pair of trainers: i have absolutely no idea, probably one of those buffalo monsters

57. Eating: fruit

58. Drinking: water

59. I’m about to: watch modern family

60. Listening to: it’s still sky & sand 

61. Waiting for: idk.. that i finally get my ass up and work for the shit i want to achieve and cry over?

62. Want: to cuddle j and meet the little mix squad again and all the people i haven’t met yet?

63. Get married: yeah, definitely

64. Career: i work in human resources at a charity for mentally ill people

YOUR TYPE… 65. Hugs or kisses: bruhhhh... i love kissing, but also. hugging makes me feel so safe, so i’d say hugs

66. Lips or eyes: eyes

67. Shorter or taller: i do not care

68. Older or younger: i don’t know, older?

70. Nice arms or nice stomach: i have never thought abt this and i have no idea what to answer cause it doesn’t matter to me 

71. Sensitive or loud:  a good mixture of both

72. Hook up or relationship: relationship

73. Troublemaker or hesitant: a good mixture of both again, sorry i’m boring 

HAVE YOU EVER… 74. Kissed a stranger?: yes

75. Drank hard liquor?: yes

76. Lost glasses contact/lenses: no, just sunglasses

77. Turned someone down: yes

78. Sex on first date: not sex

79. Broken someone’s heart: i actually don’t think so

80. Had your heart broken: yes

81. Been arrested: i mean.. nearly, twice?

82. Cried when someone died: yes

83. Fallen for a friend: yes

DO YOU BELIEVE IN… 84. Yourself: i’m working on it lads

85. Miracles: actually, yes

86. Love at first sight: no

87. Santa Claus: yes, just because i want to

88. Kiss on the first date: yes

89. Angels: yes again, because i want to

OTHER… 90. Current best friend’s name: i don’t have one particular best friend

91. Eye colour: green/brown

92. Favourite movie: i’m not a movie person really, so it’s gotta be harry potter. every now and then i go to the cinema and really enjoy the movies but it’s not like i’d call them my favourite movie? u know..

alright, there we go, if anyone has actually read every single thing congratulations i’m v sorry. also 25 people are a lot to tag so i’m not gonna do that:

@wereamanbandnow, @fuckinghatekissingyou, @floralfeast, @florelikeaflower, @reinventlou, @justlookatthehearteyes, @kingsbesideyou, @iamnotbeingsarcastic, @harrysgaytour

i don’t know who’s been tagged already so just ignore this if you did it already, and no pressure as always. love u. <3 

[hunnieebunniee]

I was tagged by @corvidame whomst i copied and pasted 

last…

1. drink:  Chai latte even tho its 87 degrees here

2. phone call: My mom abt going to the gym

3. text message:  “this fu kifn hellsite” to becka

4. song you listened to: Dancing in the Moonlight by Alt-J

5. time you cried: Last real cry excluding all the dumb times I’ve teared up bat something that doesn’t matter was like 2 weeks ago

have you ever…

6. dated somebody twice: Define date? cus depending on ur definition yah

7. kissed someone and regretted it: YAH

8. have been cheated on: no

9. lost someone special: yes

10. been depressed: depression? I don’t know her… 

11. gotten drunk and thrown up: yes and now i can’t drink whiskey

favorite colors…

12. to wear: black or red, they fit the aesthetic

13. I like orangey yellow colors because they remind me of the 70s

14.  warm colors are my fave

in the last year have you…

15. made new friends: Yes and i love them all

16. fallen out of love: out of infatuation yes

17. laughed until you cried: yes w literally everyone

18. found out somebody was talking about you: yeah but not in a bad way

19. met somebody who changed you: yes but I’m waiting to see if the change sticks

20. found out who your friends are: yes but w the usual “we grew apart” stuff so it wasn’t serious

21. kissed somebody on your facebook list: yes

general

22.  how many of your facebook friends do you know in real life: like 85%

23. do you have any pets: yes, 5 cats named pip, matilde, hobbes, teddy bear, and sneakers. we may also foster a kitten soon named zoya

24. do you want to change your name: yah I’ve always wanted to be called bunnie for some godforsaken reason

25. what did you do for your last birthday: i ate some raspberry cake and went to an audition for wizard of oz

26. what time did you wake up: 10:15ish

27. what were you doing at midnight: brainstorming for a short play I’m writing

28. name something you can’t wait for: depeche mode concert on sunday!!!

29. when was the last time you saw your mom: like 5 seconds ago, she was asking if i had any idea for dinner

30. what are you listening to right now: the sprinkler outside? idk if that counts

31. have you ever talked to someone named tom: yeah one of my parents friends

32. something that gets on your nerves: when people are casually mean to animals, like they shove them off of things or defend eating meat w/out acknowledging the harm it does

33. most visited website: tumblr tbh

34. hair color: medium blonde, although I’m getting lowlights put in to blend it to a darker blonde

35. long or short hair: i had short hair for like 11 yrs but rn its just a little past my shoulders 

36. do you have a crush on somebody: Not currently, but i get crushes very easily and lose them easily too

37. what do you like about yourself: ig I’m kind of funny? i like making people laugh

38. piercings: 3 in my ears and one in my nose

39. blood type: lmfao idk

40. nickname: for a while in 6th grade i was super edgy and wanted to be called skarlitt, but my name is kinda too short for a nickname

41. relationship status: Single

42. zodiac: Aquarius sun, leo moon, scorpio rising

43. pronouns: binch/binchself

44. favorite tv shows: Buffy the vampire slayer, river monsters, the office, skins, american horror story

45. tattoos: i have the aquarius symbol poked on the left side of my ribcage but i want to get more

46. right or left handed: right

47. surgery: none yet thank god

48. sports: im a dancer which isn’t a sport, but i played field hockey in 6th grade

49. vacation: just got back from pent water, mi two days ago it was rly nice

50. pair of trainers: my basic bitch adidas neos

51. eating: cabbage soup at like 6:30

52. favorite drink: chai latte lol

53. what are you up to: answering this 

54. waiting for: orientation on thursday

55. want: to lose 40-50 lbs, currently 166

56. get married: yes but i want to date them for 10 or so years beforehand

57. career:  on broadway! or maybe a history teacher

58. hugs or kisses: hugs definitely I’ve never kissed a person that was enjoyable which sounds conceited sorry

59. lips or eyes: on me i like both, but on others def eyes

60. shorter or taller: I want to be 5 inches taller, but idk if this is abt dating so any size in that case

61. older or younger: 25 is the ideal age for me, so older

62. nice arms or stomach: arms on others, i wish i had both tho

63. hook up or relationship: depends on the person

64. troublemaker or hesitant: depends on the situation, i will fucc shit up if i want to but i don’t always want to

65. kissed a stranger: yeah

66. drank hard liquor: yes

67. lost glasses/contact lenses: constantly. idk if I’ve had a pair of contacts that lasted longer than 3 days but i rarely wear them

68. turned someone down:  yea :////

69. sex on the first date: eh

70. broken someone’s heart: i think not

71. had your heart broken: yes

72. been arrested: no

73. cried when someone died: every time

74. fallen for a friend: YES its a real problem chances are if we’re friends I’ve liked u at some point, not true for all tho

do you believe in…

75. yourself: sometimes, most times no but I’m determined

76. miracles: yes but not the stereotypical kinds

77. love at first sight: not love, but definitely lust lol

78. santa claus: till i was around 6 until people ruined for me

79. kiss on the first date: yeah, again depends on the person

80. angels: benevolent spirits yeah, but not the winged harp kind

81. current best friends names: becka, regi, ella, annika, evie

82. eyecolor: Green/goldish but sometimes they look more one or the other

83. favorite movie: moonrise kingdom! fave movie of all time

I tag @constellationcelia , @sour-limelight and anyone else who wants to do it

[starbitstudies-blog]

92 questions

tagged by @stevenstudies​ thank you!!!

rules: answer these 92 questions and then tag 20 people!

last:

1. drink: water

2. phone call: uhh i don’t remember i don’t really call ppl aaa 

3. text message: something about hating when people think a bad character = a bad person because that’s not the case!!! or that one bad action done by a character makes them horrible!! 

4. song you listened to: well i’m currently listening to lollia’s cover of “cymatics” by techniken!

5. time you cried: i think two or three days ago!! 

have you:

6. dated someone twice: nope!

7. kissed someone and regretted it: never kissed anyone so nope!

8. been cheated on: fortunately, with me having not dated anyone, that’s not possible. hopefully this answers stays ‘no’

9. lost someone special: our family dog died a while back... i mean also my father left a long time ago but tHAT’S HEAVY SO UHH

10. been depressed: yeah, since it’s likely i have depression

11. gotten drunk and thrown up: nah

list three favorite colors:

12. PERIWINKLE!

13. pastel pink

14. cyan!!!

in the last year have you

15. made new friends: yeah!! a few tbh

16. fallen out of love: idk i don’t think i’ve been in love hahhaha, 

17. laughed until you cried: TWO NIGHTS AGO

18. found out someone was talking about you: ye

19. met someone who changed you: people here (positively) and people at school... also people on other sites (both pos and neg)

20. found out who your friends are: yes i think?

21. kissed someone on your facebook list: whats facebook? (jk but no)

general:

22. how many of your facebook friends do you know in real life: i deleted my facebook sorry pals

23. do you know any pets: we have so many u dont even know

24. do you want to change your name: PLEASE can i change it to zia?

25. what did you do for your last birthday: i played video games, helped babysit my nephew for a few hrs, then ate chinese

26. what time did you wake up: technically like 7 but i got out of bed at 8

27. what were you doing at midnight last night: i think on tumblr

28. name something you cant wait for: MY OWN LAPTOP TBH

29. when was the last time you saw your mom: right now

30. what is one thing you wish you could change in your life: PRACTICE ART MORE AS A KID!!! UR NOT GONNA WANNA BE A WRITER WHEN UR OLD ZIA NO FOCUS ON ART

31. what are you listening to right now: all we know (chainsmokers) this is after the last music post bc time has passed rip

32. have you ever talked to a person named Tom: my ex-best friend’s dad! (we’re still friends but not close anymore, because we don’t live close to each other anymore)

33. something that is getting on your nerves: myself

34. most visited websites: tumblr, twitter or insta probably. maybe even yesstyle because GOSH i love clothes more than i ever knew

more random info:

35. mole/s: face moles that’s all i know of 

36. mark/s: idk dood

37. childhood dream: i once dream i was at like a disco thing and then there was water and i was DROWNING my dreams were and are weird.

38. hair color: black! (but i wanna go for blue-black or black w blue on the bottom and tips really soon!!)

39. long or short hair: LOOKS SHORT (bc super tight curls) but it’s really medium length

40. do you have a crush on someone: i mean kinda but its like a ‘admiration’ crush bc i don’t know them at all so i’m disregarding it.

41. what do you like about yourself: sometimes my eyes look ok uh

42. piercings: just ears!

43. blood type: idk dood 

44. nickname: bob the builder can he fix it yes!!! he!!! can!!! 

45. relationship status: single and too focused on college apps to want to mingle.

46. zodiac: aquarius

47. pronouns: ANYYY but most refer to me by she/her by default so!! 

48. favorite tv show: rwby!! but i love a good spongebob for giggles

49. tattoos: ehhh .... not unless its hidden good im too worried about jobs 

50. right or left hand: right (trying to learn to write w my left hand as well)

51. surgery: never have, maybe someday i will, who knows

52. dyed hair: a few times, purple streaks, purple on the bottom and tips, a few times black.

53. sport: i used to play volleyball but uhh bye

54. subtitles or dubbed version: when it comes to anime either way!! i’ve never rlly watched anything else w subs i dont think

55. vacation: nothing nada 

56. toenail color: plain plain plain

more general:

57. eating: i had some harvest snaps and non dairy ice cream thank u ben and jerrys

58. drinking: water

59. im about to: think about my life

60. ive been putting off: my entire life

61. waiting for: SCHOOL i miss the routine and i hate this anticipation stop it summer stop i

62. want: more stationery and CLOTHES FROM YESSTYLE OR H&M OR SHEIN 

63. get married: maaaybe???

64. career: VIDEO GAME ARTIST PLEASE or animator

65. hugs or kisses: hugs?

66. lips or eyes: eyes

67. shorter or taller: uhhh 

68. older or younger: UHHHH

69. can you wiggle your ears without touching them: no im  a weenie loser 

70. nice arms or nice stomach: ARMS ARMS ARMS A

71. sensitive or loud: depending on the situation..

72. hookup or relationship: relationship!

73. troublemaker or hesitant: hesitant

74. kissed a stranger: nah

75. drank hard liquor: whats a hard liquoryall

76. lost glasses: yes im HORRIBLE ive also broke them mmm boi some spicy troublemakin

77. turned someone down: ONCE AND IM STILL SHOOK I FEEL SO BAD PLEASE DONT EVER DO THIS TO ME AGAIN @ GOD !!! 

78. sex on the first date: oh no sirree

79. broken someones heart: i mean KINDA?? idk

80. had your heart broken: proBABLY IDK

81. been arrested: nope

82. cried when someone died: yes

83. fallen for a friend: HJFKSHFKJDHSKFHDSKJF

do you believe in:

84. yourself: NOT ENOUGH

85. miracles: YE

86. love at first sight: NOT RLLY LOVE but like a crush yes???

87. santa claus: I DONT THINK I EVER HAVE

88. kiss on the first date: mmmmaybe if u know them

89. faeries: MMAYB

other:

90. current best friend name: KHALO AND BRANDON AND VAAN!!!

91. eye color: dark brown but they look like the void yo

92. favorite movie: MOANA ATM!!!!!

ANYBODY I TAG U ALL AND DON’T FORGET TO TAG ME I WANNA KNOW U GUYS!!!

[essentiallychaotic]

85 statements R U L E S : you must answer these eighty five statements and tag twenty people I was tagged by the always wonderful @acynicandanidealist​ ^-^ (also sorry if this has been tagged for a bit, my tumblr didn’t tell me so if I’m doing this weirdly late whoops :/ ) I would like to tag: @skittles-pixie​, @pacificjim​, @khanleesi​, @keepingkaya​, @astreana​, @elfiethewicked​, @bleustocking​, @cuemypulse​, @wingleader​, @lokidiabolus​, @scribbly-wibbly-stuff​, @stenchy-wench​, @universalhouseplant​, @shalanos​, @nancysinatras​, @dragonsdawn​, @hungry-angry-lyingdown​, @horaetio​, @inktaire​, @pntmrcys​, aanndd anyone else who wants to do it!

Also sorry if the formatting is wonky, I’m on mobile. Part 1: the last: drink: Water, I have this like quart mason jar with a drink lid, cause I’m one of those people I guess :P phone call: I talked to my Dad this afternoon text message: Uummm… I had to go check haha, it was Cece song you listened to: Probably something by David Bowie this morning (followed by me wandering around the house just singing his name, just repeated dramatic “Bowie!” My dogs loved it) Ooo unless movies count, then whatever is the credits song for the new Ghostbusters :D time you cried: I cried cutting up shallots tonight… other than that idk… I cried during Wonder Woman, seeing my childhood hero portrayed so perfectly was emotional Part 2: Ever: dated someone twice: Like gone on two dates? Yes. I think I’ve gone on two dates (technically three) with two different people. I don’t really date much tho, it takes so much time and college is a lot of work kissed someone and regretted it: Nah, I’ve learned something about how people are every time, hard to regret useful life lessons been cheated on: That involves a relationship so no lost someone special: No one that has passed away, but last fall I had to realise that a friendship had turned really toxic and was impacting my stress and health, which was really hard because she was very important to me, and losing that friendship has been a point of pain this year been depressed: Yes, I’ve just gotten to the point in the last two years where I am able to manage it and not let my depression or anxiety impact my life. I’m really lucky that I don’t have to take meds for it, mainly because I’m super forgetful and never remember to take any pills I’ve ever had gotten drunk and thrown up: Yes and I don’t recommend it. It’s very not fun Part 3: Favourite colours: Green, blue, brown, gold, and red Part 4: In the last year have you: made new friends: I have, and they are all wonderful people fallen out of love: Nope laughed until you cried: I think I have, but even if I haven’t actually cried I’ve gotten close, I’m blessed with wonderfully funny people and pets in my life ^-^ found out someone was talking about you: Yeah my professors, apparently it was nice things but it still freaks me out when they casually are just like “oh that reminds me, we were talking about you at the meeting the other day…” met someone who changed you: Maybe more of met people who affirmed my belief that people can be good and kind and caring, and that I should keep working to be present in the kind and caring parts of myself (cause boy did I used to be bitter and grumpy) found out who your friends are: I feel like this is that “when times get tough you’ll find who your REAL friends are” kinda thing… which I don’t really put a lot of stock in because I think awareness of who people are and where they are at is important in respecting them as individuals… I did lose a couple of friends in the whole big ending toxic friendship thing, but I kinda saw those coming and there’s no hard feelings kissed someone on your facebook list: Nope Part 5: General: how many of your facebook friends do you know in real life: I have met them all in real life but one. He and his friends were drunk and at the same hostel as my friend when she was on the phone with me and he asked her if he could talk to her friend and it was hilarious and he added me on facebook do you have any pets: Two puppies do you want to change your name: Nah, my name means born of fire, and I kinda like that… plus it also is connected to my mom’s name in a weird, circuitous way and I like that too what did you do for your last birthday: I had class and work, and then planned on meeting up with friends for our usual pub-and-board-games night and they surprised me with cheesecake and those candles that relight themselves… it was a fun night :) what time did you wake up: 9am-ish what were you doing at midnight last night: Playing with my phone I think… reading something on Ao3 name something you can’t wait for: I start grad school in Belfast this fall, so I’m really excited and also crazy nervous about that when was the last time you saw your mom: A couple of hours ago when we were watching Ghostbusters (I love that movie, Melissa McCarthy is my hero) what are you listening to right now: Silence. Also my dog licking her paws. Everyone here is asleep. have you ever talked to a person named Tom: Yeah, remember that one random friend on facebook? His name was Tom… there are probably other from college but I’m drawing a blank something that is getting on your nerves: Just… just so much of the social inequality and how badly our social system fails people who need support… and the fact that their voices aren’t respected and sought out when it comes to telling their stories, like what is that??? most visited website: Ummm… tumblr, gmail, facebook, and my grad school’s website are probs all really close rn hair colour: Natural is a mediumish darker brown colour… currently it’s a brownish/purple colour bc I dyed it months ago and just let it fade long or short hair: Shoulder length, so longish? It makes it easier to control my curls and make them feel fun do you have a crush on someone: Nope what do you like about yourself: Aahhh…. I like to think I’m fun to hang out with I guess… I’m that person whose like “let’s go on an adventure!” And then drags friends to walmart at midnight before walking around campus piercings: I have my ears pierced, and my nose. I used to have my septum pierced too but I took it out. blood type: B positive nickname: Mack or Kenzi relationship status: Happily single, dating takes work and always feels like I’m trying to present this nice and shiny version of myself…. anyone else feel that? zodiac: Aries pronouns: She/Her favourite tv show: Gilmore Girls gets my soul, but Stargate Atlantis is right there too tattoos: Tribalesque (i don’t know any other way to describe it) Celtic woman on one shoulder blade, Celtic tree of life on the other, I have the words “hope is a thing with feathers” (Emily Dickinson) on my left forearm, two black bands around my right forearm, three dots on my right hand ring finger, and this three dots, three lines celtic symbol on my left ring finger (those last two were done in my dorm room last year by friends). I’m also about to get a rose on my right forearm and my bro and I are going to get small sibling tattoos right or left handed: Right, but I can kinda write with my left bc in elementary school this kid in my class broke their dominant arm and it freaked me out bc if that happened to me I wouldn’t be able to do my schoolwork so I practised writing with my left hand. (I can also write so it’s perfectly backwards like a mirrored image bc I used to get bored in class sometimes) piercing: Yup. sport: I watch soccer and baseball, but I don’t play anything (Sleep break and also tired of fighting with mobile yaaayyy) vacation: Oooohhh anyplace with marvellous culture and history really. But I’d love to go to Paris or Rome. pair of trainers: Do converse count? Part 6: more general : eating: All food is wonderful but I love my dad’s bigos stew. drinking: Water with lemon in it. Or coffee and tea I’m about to: Finish watching Ladies in Lavender then go to bed. 

waiting for: Grad school to start this fall. (See: also slightly nervous about starting) want: To see the David Bowie exhibit in Seattle. get married: If I find the right person. I want something lowkey and fun tho, like a party that happens to have a wedding at it haha. career: I dunno, I’m looking at college professor/author right now. Or just switching gears and pursuing musical theatre haha. hugs or kisses: I like hugs more, but not when people just surprise me with them. lips or eyes: Always eyes. shorter or taller: I’m 5'9" so I guess taller…? older or younger: I am 24 sooo I feel older but really that’s quite young in the grand scheme of things. nice arms or nice stomach: I gotta be real I love nice biceps. hook up or relationship: Relationship. troublemaker or hesitant: Depends on my mood and the situation. kissed a stranger: Yup. drank hard liquor: Yeppers, quite a bit actually. lost glasses or contact lenses: I misplace my glasses around the house all of the time but not actually lost them yet thank goodness. turned someone down: Yes. sex on the first date: Not my scene. broken someone’s heart: I really hope I haven’t, but I feel like I might have. had your heart broken: Only platonically by friendships that went south been arrested: Nope, and I hope to keep it that way haha. cried when someone died: I’ve yet to have someone I know personally die, and I hope it’s a long way off still. fallen for a friend: I have friends that I was attracted to at the start of our friendship, but never really fallen for them no. Part 7: do you believe in: yourself: I do now, but it took several years. miracles: I do, but I also think they’re not quite what we describe for them in our cultural narratives . love at first sight: No, love involves seeing people clearly and unconditionally caring for them. I think we can have connection at first sight but not love really. Santa Claus: I believe that Santa Clause is the spirit of Christmas and a wonderful way to see good in the world. kiss on the first date: Depends. But normally no. I did have a first date that ended in a firm handshake. That was interesting. He was also the one who on our second date listened to me explain the beowulf text narrative arc for St Christopher and was genuinely interested so… angels: I am definitely open to the possibility. Part 8: Other: current best friend’s name: Cece is my bae. eye colour: Green. Favourite movie: Reality Bites or Pride and Prejudice

[kkukkung]

v lorge ask compilation below

some of these asks date back like??? a few months??? dsdjkfhk... they’re ordered from newest to oldest i’m so sorry... messy messy

Ur blog is the plush jooheon is going like 😯😷😨😷😷 😵😫😱 to

it... is......... honestly i think jooheon is the member i’d get along w the least irl?? i can’t explain it but?? mb bc he’s a libra? also the fact that hyungwon received that huge shrimp plush n held it like a foetus is so :’’0000

annie tumblr is gonna censor ur whole blog cause ur gay

Good.

so... shart is ur New fav word now huh, guess that ges into my dictionary now...

shart made a comeback from 2016 me’s vocab and i don’t even know how it happened? :(

Sjdnkwldwnnw u ruined that punch scene in shine forever,, I can't watch it without thinking about your "my meat, me" gif 

the best gif i ever made??? gkjkjf sorry i rly am the most irrelevant person on this damn website? also that rly was my first thought when i watched the mv.... or maybe second thought after thinking “god i wish shownu would punch me like that”

changkyun is really so happy recently, he smiles so much and his eyes crinkle, its the cutest thing i have ever seen like ??!?! i want to protect him, just roll him up in a blanket and show him memes on my phone

he is!!!!! his happiness is my own happiness?? and when he smiles ur right he goes like >__< he’s rly the cutest boy alive? and this ask is so relatable esp the last part... if ck were my friend irl i’d just text him memes all day???

pls deactivate

relatable

I'm so soft rn. How can I FUCKING tell them how much I love them. Like I want to grab wonho's sweet squishy face and give his forehead a big SMOOCH. These boys deserve so much and I want to convey that to them in person but I CAN'T. And if I had the chance I'd probably ugly crying too hard to say anything.

this ask is so cute??? and i understand the dilemma like... idols are ppl who give & receive so much love every day expressed in 28347982 different ways so it’s hard knowing how to rly... Let Them Know just how happy they make u thru their existence alone? crying with u anon

yikes wait what happened w jinyoung?? i thought he was one of the few unproblematic ones...

[diff anon] jinyoung was on a tv show where he was playing a past love interest or something and he kisses the actress who's only 14..

i.... won’t comment on this bc i don’t want to stir up old drama but :/ aah i see... thank u for letting me know!

i started talking like you and another person who has similar typing patterns to you and now all my friends hate me bc of slorp and spicy

sdfjkghksdfkjfgkjds im rly sorry this happened to u... at first my friends were resistant but after a while they started picking it up as well thru exposure so... infect them jksfjjkgf... also add shart to the menu i guess? :/

Kihyun's kink is making people flustered. On the gifseft he's like "There's so many things I can do with my mouth, let me show you honey." He will grab your neck firmly yet delicately while he invades your personal space. Keeping eye contact is troublesome, this new proximity tastes as dangerous as the underlying promise of what will come next. But Hyungwon never figured it out since he backed out, breaking the siren's spell.

(response to this gifset i think? jshdfkjff) BLEASE... im writing a hyungki fic right now as we speak ✍️📝 anyway i like this characterisation of dom!kihyun bc irl he would be very dominant ??? and in fics he’s always the bottom just bc he’s #smol 🙄 but i mean he’s ?? so aware of his own sex appeal sometimes so he’d be like a switch/top/power bottom imo

you're right, you aren't into vore. More like in slorping and smorching knees/feet, and other nsfw things.

tbh im only fake horny :/ im a romantic deep down.. want to watch the sunset with lmh....... accidentally drop my bag of skittles on the dirt and he eats them up like a vacuum cleaner jksfdhkjgfkjfdhjgfjhjks

Annie, i feel like you'll understand me. Whenever I see Minhyuk, i feel a mixture of extreme lust, great anger and a desire to have my head bashed in because he's real and nothing else matters anymore. It's really.... not what i wanted in life 

another #relatable ask... i want to take minhyuk out on a candlelit dinner date but like.... at kfc and we’ll both be touching each other’s cheeks with our greasy hands like animals... like raccoons scavenging for trash in a dumpster

'kihyun stans are foot fetishists'' UHM!!! this is tru i would slorp kihyuns whole foot in one go

i don’t rmbr writing this but skjdfhfgsdkjgjk it... it really is true huh...

hi annie, i just wanted to ask you what your take on wonho's personality is? ive read your tags before and how you say he is very romantic in how he presents things, and i thought that was interesting!

aaa, i think i’ll write a proper post on this later bc it’s also something that interests me a lot... until then i’ll just say that i think he’s indeed very romantic and loves pleasing people... his driving force is rly Love u know... love for people (family, members, fans), for his job, for music, etc... he’s very soft and imaginative and sometimes that comes across as a kind of childish innocence?? more on this later

i wanna kno more abt the customer whos coming in more lately,, i lov regulars that come in at my job - it's such an interesting half relationship

hgfjjjsk this ask is from a month ago n i think i was talking abt that customer who asked me if i wanted to die but in a casual way?? jsfdkh i work at a tobacco store so this guy asked me if i smoked n i was like “uhm no i don’t” so he went “what? are you afraid to die?” and i stood there like... kind of dumbfounded for a sec jksfhg but he’s a nice guy n very cool... nvr seen his eyes b4 bc he always has rly dark shades on n he buys the cheapest cigarettes n leaves. but most regulars i get are like chinese international students spending their parents’ money on cigs and some sweet old men who always want the same smokes... there’s this one old man who always wears matching vintage suits n pairs it w a fancy hat n once he complimented my outfit and i was thrilled?? also some creeps come n chat me up while im working sometimes which is a bit :/// but mostly i like my job and it’s interesting interacting w regulars! thank u for this ask n im sry if this was like super boring lmao

idc what it says about me but Minhyuk rushing to eat chicken bones off the fucking floor brought him from 'would play Mario Kart and share nachos with' to 'would play Mario Kart and share bodily fluids with' levels

i want to Die.................... when he tried to eat those half-eaten chicken bones off the ground....... that was the moment that solidified his image as a Dirty Dirt Man in my head like he’s a Real Gremlin... i said it for fun b4 but it’s... a real thing. he’s actually Disgusting skjdfhjdkf... also anon u sound like a gremlin too??? join our big gremlin family???

wtf is "That" ????? and why is it related to kihyuck ?? - knowing ur tags it should be something gross, but u said it in such an onimous way; annie, i am scared.

i genuinely don’t rmbr what this was abt djgjs i write a lot of tags that don’t make sense even to me like a few weeks later?? sjdfjhkjsk i’m sorry... gotta start answering these in time so they actually have any kind of relevance... 

"That kink where you just want to be crushed....just like pulverized. Asking for a friend" Bless this tag

again.. don’t rmbr writing this tag and don’t rmbr the post i wrote it for but um, yeah, sounds like smth i said jkfdgsjfdjk im so sorry...

i just had a dream where minhyuk showed up, called me sexy and then left???

fun fact whenever ppl tell me abt their dreams here it’s always to do with minhyuk doing something weird??? also God I Wish That Were Me...

why do u say jooheon is def experienced tho? he legit said he never had a girlfriend in his life and it's clear seeing him interact with women, he has no idea what to do? unless you mean gay experiences, that's probably very true

THE LAST LINE OF THIS ASK JKDHKJD.... um i think joobs is experienced bc i actually think he’s sorta smooth? he’s pretty flirtatious w female hosts on the shows mx appears on like... w jimin on asc and w seulgi on idol battle likes... i don’t mean experience as in a lot of idk.. sexual experiences (if anything he’d b the type to be v devoted to someone if he was dating them i think) but i feel like he does know how to present himself in a certain... attractive light especially in front of cute girls? idk if i’m saying this right... 

ur minhyuk tags are so fnny and hella relatable im dying n 😂😭😂

my minhyuk tags: slorp... asterisk asterisk asterisk x10... nut... gremlin dirt man... nut nut... nutting... dksjfgkj but thank u?

but you ARE funny lol I laughed so hard at that bird/Shownu reference

gfjkgjkjk u can tell how old these asks are from the things they’re referring to... but nevertheless thank u sm im sry im a mess... at least im a funny mess to a select few ppl... thank u for enjoying my messy blob... i lov u

no exit ep 5 was a mess but wonho was lookin reeeal cute w those glasses tbh

???? what the fuck, where they serious about that fuckin Mathew the tiger??? If yes, then again, wtf??

jdsfjksk i still can’t believe Those Episodes of no exit rly happened...

i love your tags so much especially the ones where you imply that minhyuk's actually an alien "# he rly doesn't know what to do w his arms he hasn't possessed a human body in so long" lol

HE RLY IS AN ALIEN... like he’s obviously attractive n was popular in school n smart n funny n cute but sometimes he does the most unexplainable things n it makes me rly wonder if he’s human??? he’s so fucking weird u kno i love my alien gremlin dirt man... take me for a ride in ur ufo...

You @ wonho: :( sweet baby u deserve everything good You @ minhyuk: literally slorp my p**** you fucking snake

SHUT UP...

i started using slorp too help

this ask was sent 3 months ago... i can’t believe i’ve been saying slorp for three months...

um..... i luv u???smorch

smorch u back??? big sloppy smorch that leaves u disgusted???

Hey Annie, would you mind a short description of the Monsta X No Exit Chanel+ video?

i’m sry abt how late this is jsfdjkg but if anyone’s still interested... yeah the no exit video where they explained the hypnotism was p much just bts of jooheon and shownu getting hypnotised... and it kind of legitimised it ig bc joobs said he was concentrating super super super hard (and hypnotism only works when ur focusing that much??) n so did shownu... my ch+ actually expired recently so this is just from what i rmbr hfdjsdjkh if anyone else can contribute pls do! otherwise i will get a renewal soon and after that i could do a better summary if you’re still interested! sorry!!

Um...why are jooheons vocals slept on...what the fcuk he's so??? Nice to listen to??

tbh why is jooheon such a golden boy... literally good at everything... can sing dance (one of the best dancers in mx??) and rap.... compose... write lyrics... play 328974 diff instruments... cute n sexy at the same time.... what the fuck

I'm trying to figure out what your censored tags are but apparently my vocabulary of nasties is pretty limited

im glad??? pls don’t read the next part of this ask compilation ksfhkgsd

!!!nsfw asks... spare urself please...!!!

uhhhhhh for the nastea ask comp... kihyuns p*thy eating lips??? true, but whats the most to least best at eating out ranking order?

1. kihyun/wonho

2. shownu (would try v hard??? earnest man??)

3. hyungwon (idk i think he’s gotta be Good somehow i mean look at his lips??)

4. jooheon

5. changkyun

6. minhyuk (can’t find clitoris :/)

I would like to hear more about kihyun's p**** e**ing lips tbh 👀... please elaborate

idk what to say but i feel like the way he moves his lips sometimes is ??? erotic jskfdhkgjfdj and same w wonho... also the lisp has some relevance 2 ***** eating idk there’s a tie there somewhere...

I FEEL DIRTY WATCHING KIHYUNS BODY ROLLS ON WEEKLY IDOL I WOULD **** his **** at fucking lightning speed

rmbr when we thought sexy!kihyun Peaked during beautiful era w the return of the black hair but now he’s running around w a blindfold n showing off his new shredded body at any given moment.. yeah

(in reference to minhyuk probly not knowing where the clit is) minhyuk: *reaches into the back of your throat and flicks your uvula* "hows that feel babe? ;)"

reading this took years off my life i hate u

I disagree.Minhyuk is probably the most kinky out of monsta x.He just doesn't show it like every other expert in the field 👀👀

mmm i think hyungwon could be a Freak? jskdhfkg but ur right minhyuk is definitely someone who’s up for like... experimental stuff :/

[poodleyeol]

rules //write 92 truths about yourself then tag 25 people

i was tagged by @wifan and @chanyeolsabs ~~~~ thank you so much to the both of you im so excited lets do this :3

LAST…

[1] drink: water :/ how boring [2] phone call: my mummm D; [3] text message: once again, my mum D; [4] song you listened to: kaching by cbx!!!!! such a jam!!!! [5] time you cried: about a week ago ehehehe thats pretty good for me~

HAVE YOU EVER…

[6] dated someone twice: nope~ [7] been cheated on: i’m like 99.99999% sure I haven’t :3 [8] kissed someone and regretted it: yyyeesss i blew my first kiss on some gross dude in like 3rd grade D; [9] lost someone special: not yet ;u; [10] been depressed: ummm i think?? maybe?? [11] gotten drunk and thrown up: YES AHAH only once thank god (but i threw up twice...)

LIST 3 FAVOURITE COLORS:

[12] pastel pink!! [13] dark green~ [14] all other pastels~

IN THE LAST YEAR HAVE YOU…

[15] made new friends: YES i mean only online but that counts right~? [16] fallen out of love: nope~ [17] laughed until you cried: absolutely bahahah [18] found out someone was talking about you: i dont think so~? [19] met someone who changed you: i dont think so~ [20] found out who your true friends are: hmmm not in a negative sense, more that i’m becoming a little more certain that my true friends really care about me ^^ [21] kissed someone on your facebook list: yeah technically my gf is my friend on facebook~

GENERAL…

[22] how many of your facebook friends do you know in real life: most of them, but they’re all people from my grade in high school  [23] do you have any pets: yesss~ a dog and a cat <3 [24] do you want to change your name: nahhh I can’t imagine being anything other than demi ^^;;;; [25] what did you do for your last birthday: uugghhhh it sucked i had to spend it with family and i didn’t do anything fun D; [26] what time did you wake up: 9:40am~ [27] what were you doing at midnight last night: i was trying to do my writing assignment~ (and failing) [28] name something you cannot wait for: eXO’S cOMMEBBACKKKK sAVE ME [29] when was the last time you saw your mother: last night~ [30] what is one thing you wish you could change about your life: how ugly i am/how lazy i am/how i get nervous and stressednover really stupid small things/the list goes on [31] what are you listening to right now: nothing right now~ [32] have you ever talked to a person named tom: um i think so?? very briefly?? [33] something that is getting on your nerves: having to do so much homework when all i want to do is go on tumblr and write == [34] most visited website: i assume it’s tumblr?? bahaha [35] elementary: i was a huge loser but i had friends somehow bahah [36] high school: the time when i was a massive weeb... i dont know why anyone talked to me [37] college: stRESS [38] hair color: brown~~~ [39] long or short hair: it was long but I just cut it today so now it’s medium-ish length! [40] do you have a crush on someone: all i have is the bae<3 [41] what do you like about yourself: not much the fact that i care very intensely about the people i like [42] piercings: none~ i had my ears done when i was like... 7 or 8 but i didnt end up liking it so i let them close :3 [43] blood type: no idea... but i’m gonna guess A [44] nickname: i dont really have one but my manager at work calls me “Demz” [45] relationship status: basically married bahaha [46] zodiac sign: aquarius/pisces [47] pronouns: she/her~~ [48] fav tv show: i dont have one favourite~ just anything funny! [49] tattoos: noneee~ [50] right or left hand: right hand~

FIRST…

[51] surgery: I’ve never had one~ [52] piercing: the aforementioned ear piercing that i let die :3 [53] best friend: ummmmmm good question... because maybe it was Orly, but she didn’t like me much, and then there was Belinda, but she was always a fair bit older than me... and then Kyaa was my first primary school friend, but i don’t think i ever would have called her my best friend...... okay ill stop ehehe [54] sport: ew. um i did tae kwon do for a bit does that count..? [55] vacation: uMMM i wouldn’t remember bahahah [56] pair of trainers: i have no idea i didn’t start paying attention to shoes until i was much older ^^;;;;

RIGHT NOW…

[57] eating: i just had some cheese and crackers before :3 [58] drinking: water again :/ but i had a smoothie like an hour ago~ [59] i’m about to: finish this off and then put off doing my assignment!!!!! [60] listening to: nothinggggg~ [61] waiting for: exo’s comeback. and mum to get home and make dinner~ [62] want: for exo to be happy and healthy ;u; [63] get married: i mean i already feel married so~ <3 [64] career: noonnnnnneeee i am a sad broke student~

WHICH IS BETTER…

[65] hugs or kisses: i think i like hugs more...? maybe...? i dunno both is good <3 [66] lips or eyes: eyes!!!! [67] shorter or taller: tAALLLLLLLLLL!!!!!! i mean i bias chanyeol what do you expect me to answer this with bahaha [68] older or younger: either is fine~! [70] nice arms or nice stomach: chanyeol’s lil tummy <3 [71] sensitive or loud: i love loud people because i’m a meek lil kitten who needs help in conversation :3 [72] hook up or relationship: relationship~~~ [73] troublemaker or hesitant: troublemaker!! because i’m hesitant and if we’re both hesitant nothing will get done!

HAVE YOU EVER…

[74] kissed a stranger? the dude i kissed in year 3 was almost a stranger pretty much but uh no not really~ [75] drank hard liquor? what constitutes as hard liquor...? look probably yes bahahah [76] lost glasses/contact lenses? i don’t have them~ [77] turned someone down: only like once >< [78] sex on first date? umm i’ve never been on a proper first date so i couldn’t say for sure~~ [79] broken someone’s heart? not that i’m aware of >< [80] had your own heart broken? no~ [81] been arrested? thank god no ahaha [82] cried when someone died? i assume ...? so??? [83] fallen for a friend? yes~~~ and somehow it turned out well for me ^^;;

DO YOU BELIEVE IN…

[84] yourself? ew no i can’t do shit bahaha [85] miracles? i guess so~? [86] love at first sight? maybe like. extreme attraction and extreme chemistry at first sight... close enough!! [87] Santa Claus? i mean. no. ahahah sorry children everywhere~ [88] kiss on the first date? yeah sure??? why not if the date went well then totally! [89] angels? yes. i know of nine amazing angels. they’re called exo. <3

OTHER…

[90] current best friend’s name: i mean my gf is basically also my best friend so Lici :3 [91] eye color: brown~ [92] favorite movie: uuhhh maybe zootopia bahaha

i will tag~ um i think a lot of my friends have already been tagged ^^;; @homosidalbrainiac, @hunniedae, @baekshitbyun, @lost-my-utopia, @minnyc24 and um anyone else who wants to do this~!!

[gnostalgist]

🌻rules: once you have been tagged, you are supposed to write 92 truths about yourself. At the end, choose 25 people to tag.

I was tagged by @fixationpsychosis ! (thank u!)

🌻LAST…


[1] drink: zero ultra monster energy fsdjlfkjds (its the only Good(TM) monster so i had to specify)


[2] phone call: my grandma probably. if skype calls count, then dirk.


[3] text message: my grandma...


[4] song you listened to: ok it was the schuyler sisters from hamilton but it was bc i was doign a colorguard routine to it which probably doesnt help but

[5] time you cried: idk... a couple days ago

🌻 HAVE YOU EVER…

[6] dated someone twice: yeah


[7] been cheated on: uh you know what? probably, yeah.


[8] kissed someone and regretted it: not immediately??? but yeah


[9] lost someone special: yeah i mean.. i hope its not permanent but yeah


[10] been depressed: all day erryday


[11] gotten drunk and thrown up: nah

🌻 LIST 3 FAVOURITE COLORS…


[12] pastel pink


[13] the one shade of red u know. like my blog aesthetic


[14] orange but its gotta be soft

🌻 IN THE LAST YEAR HAVE YOU…


[15] made new friends: yes!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! i made so many new good friends somewhat recently!! i love them!!!


[16] fallen out of love: im trying

[17] laughed until you cried: yeah


[18] found out someone was talking about you: hhhh yeah

[19] met someone who changed you: mmmmmmmmmmmmmmmm


[20] found out who your true friends are: hh yeah


[21] kissed someone on your Facebook list: ive only kissed two people ever and theyre both BLOCKED AS FUCK

🌻 GENERAL…


[22] how many of your Facebook friends do you know in real life: (sidenote: i dont like the term “real life” when talking abt friends bc just bc u have ldrs doesnt mean u dont know the person in ‘real life’ bc u do. but i know what its asking so im just gonna answer that) 3... because i panicked and deleted almost everyone off my friends list


[23] do you have any pets: i have a cat named Pico de Gato

[24] do you want to change your name: legally? yeah. but idk im ok w my name(s) rn


[25] what did you do for your last birthday: hhhhh I CRIED BC NOBODY WAS ABLE TO HANG OUT AND I SAT IN MY ROOM ALONE but then the other day my friend brought me weed as a belated bday present so whatever

[26] what time did you wake up: 6 am


[27] what were you doing at midnight last night: sleepin

[28] name something you cannot wait for: GREEN DAY AND AGAINST ME CONCERT NEXT MONTH!


[29] when was the last time you saw your mother: oh god last summer i think im not sure


[30] what is one thing you wish you could change about your life: not having bpd and ruining all of my relationships

[31] what are you listening to right now: against me bc i remembered the concert for #28...

[32] have you ever talked to a person named Tom: i went to middle school w someone named tom and i had him in social studies and he wrote a song for a class project on guitar except it was really bad 


[33] something that is getting on your nerves: this one kid i kind of know thats.. actualyl terrible i want them to die....


[34] most visited website: tumblr/youtube 


[35] elementary: idk what these are actually asking but i... think its asking where... i started to kindergarten at a school in south dakota, and then a different school here from then until 2nd grade; 3rd grade in texas; 4th in rochester, minnesota and 5th in winona, minnesota


[36] high school: currently in rn and it sux


[37] college: either going to a technical school here to get a degree as a diagnostic medical sonographer or going somewhere??? to get a phd in psych to be a clinical psychologist. prolly the former tho,,

[38] hair colour: black but rly badly dyed


[39] long or short hair: idk its like to my shoulders when its down but also i have a mohawk


[40] do you have a crush on someone: YEA IM RLY GAY FOR MY BF

[41] what do you like about yourself: my eyes and Musical Abilities(TM)


[42] piercings: idk i dont really want any,,


[43] blood type: idk ??
??????????????

[44] nickname: roxy (if that counts..), kasp, rox, friendly ghost


[45] relationship status: IM LVOE DIRK


[46] zodiac sign: picses/aries


[47] pronouns: god i dont fucking know.. any?? except if we’re not close u cant use she/her but. yeah idk. any.


[48] fav TV show: hm twd probably


[49] tattoos: i dont have any, BUT
 im going to get a bike helmet? idk where yet though. and then just those plastic vampire teeth, and finally, the Most Important one, the word ‘drown’ in morse code on the inside of my left arm. im gonna?? try to meet tyler joseph and have him write it for me.

[50] right or left handed: right

🌻 FIRST…


[51] surgery: i had surgery on my tongue in like 1st/2nd grade bc i couldnt like. lift it up


[52] piercing: none


[53] best friend: a girl named zaneb

 
[54] sport: uhhh i tried to do bmx for a while but ive never been in a sport rly until now if u count colorguard


[55] vacation: hm my familys always been poor so like. we’ve only gone to texas and south dakota to see family


[56] pair of trainers: wh.. what

🌻 RIGHT NOW…


[57] eating: nothing but i just ate a cookie i baked. also i know this isnt what it asked but i just want to say ive ate 7 tacos in the past 3 day.


[58] drinking: ALRIGHT i started writing this post like 4 hours ago but im still drinking that monster


[59] I’m about to: nut

[60] listening to: against me


[61] waiting for: dirk to come online?????


[62] want: dirk to come online?????


[63] get married: probably not..


[64] career?: diagnostic medical sonography or clinical psychologist

🌻 WHICH IS BETTER…


[65] hugs or kisses: hugs... kissing is honestly disgusting and ngl like 95% of the time ive kissed anyone i just found it Gross dskfjds;ld


[66] lips or eyes: eyes.....


[67] shorter or taller: ok i dont actually care either way but listen. dallon weekes is 6′4′’ and he can W R E C K  M E


[68] older or younger: i dont care but i usually just happen to like ppl older than me? but not by much like a year at most


[69] romantic or spontaneous: both


[70] nice arms or nice stomach: idc s’all cute


[71] sensitive or loud: idk both but at different times??

[72] hook up or relationship: relationship...


[73] troublemaker or hesitant: idk..

🌻 HAVE YOU EVER…


[74] kissed a stranger: god no. i tried once when i was 12


[75] drank hard liquor: yeah but i was depressed and we dont talk about that period of my life

[76] lost glasses/contact lenses: i dont.. wear them.

[77] turned someone down: i dont think so... nobody is interested in me ever lmao

[78] sex on first date: GROSS


[79] broken someone’s heart: i dont think so


[80] had your own heart broken: yeah

[81] been arrested: ....listen


[82] cried when someone died: no


[83] fallen for a friend: hm i dont think so. unless u count dirk but i had a crush on him like immediately

🌻 DO YOU BELIEVE IN…


[84] yourself: every other wednesday


[85] miracles: eh

[86] love at first sight: no but i think u can kinda have a connection at first sight. like a “i know im going to love you” at first sight.

[87] santa claus: yeah ofc


[88] kiss on the first date: hh it depends idk


[89] angels: i am an angel so like

🌻 OTHER…


[90] current best friend’s name: i never have like actual best friends bc nobody likes me but idk ill go out on a limb and say martin


[91] eye colour: blue


[92] favourite movie: the labyrinth or heathers or little shop of horrors. or book of mormon if we pretend thats a movie

im too lazy to tag people i am SORRY if u wanna do this then say i tagged u tho!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!11

[thedorkwholovesphan]

Straight As a Circle

Summary: Phil's known Dan's for maybe a month now. He's fallen for his bright smile, glowing eyes and even his sarcastic behavior. Phil's learned to love every bit of Dan including his imperfections. There's just one thing that seems to be a small problem... Phil is completely unaware if Dan is into guys, and frankly he is way to scared to ask.

Warnings: Cursing

Word Count: 1,849

Author’s Notes: Hiya! So, I haven’t fallen off the face of the earth completely (yet). I made this fic last night because I really wanted to write something and I can kind of relate to this idea of the fic. Either or, I hope you like it, and hopefully you’ll be seeing more of me soon.

Enjoy~

“I don’t know what to do, Louise!” Phil let’s out a frustrated sigh, brushing his fingers through his fringe and throwing himself onto the sofa.

It was currently six-thirty in the afternoon and Phil was spending it freaking out because the man he ended up falling for was meant to be coming over in twenty minutes. He seriously never meant to fall for the guy he quite literally fell into— It was a long story; involving a cup of coffee, the ruining of a stranger's shirt all complete with Phil’s ultimate clumsiness.

Phil’s known Dan for about a month now. Dan’s met his closest friend, Louise, and Phil’s met PJ and a few of Dan’s other friends. They’ve been talking over phone calls and text daily and coming over to one another's flats on and off. Phil’s stayed up with Dan till three just talking about the most random things; He’s learned about Dan’s worries about the future and if he’s actually ever going to make an impact on the world. Dan and Phil have just been hanging out ever since Dan asked for Phil’s number, and Phil cannot express enough how much he cares about Dan. But, there was a small problem;

“For the millionth time, Phil, just ask him if he likes guys or not.”

He can hear the annoyance in her voice on the other line, and that just makes his heart sink more than it already has; he didn’t want his frustration on the matter to effect the people around him.

“It’s so much more complicated than that, I keep telling you this-”

Before Phil can go on, Louise interrupts. “No, it’s not, Phil!” She starts. Phil’s slightly taken aback since Louise doesn’t normally wear the strict and angry tone with him that she is now.

Either way, he lets her continue. “You haven’t even told him you were gay for fucks sake, at least do that. He doesn’t bite, and we aren’t in secondary school anymore, chances are if he weren’t supportive of the community, he would’ve expressed it.” Her voice gets softer as she spoke, and she lets a small pause fall between them for Phil to completely understand her words. “Sometimes you need to take a risk, Phil. I know you aren’t really one to do that, but you’re gonna be alright.”

Before Phil can reply, there’s a knock at Phil’s door and he jumps slightly, shooting his head in the direction of the knocking. He sits up, continuing to just stare at the door.

“Thank you,” Phil says with a genuine tone of appreciation. “He’s actually knocking at the door now. I’ll call you later and tell you how it goes.”

“Alright, good luck. I’ll talk to you later, love.”

With that, Phil hangs up, gets up from the sofa and stops at the front door, once again using his fingers to brush his fringe. He closes his eyes. “Here goes nothing.” He mutters with a sigh, a large smile following after it.

Phil opens the door and is greeted by a Dan dressed in a black button up collared shirt along with some black skinny jeans and black shoes. His smile grows at the man's clothing; not even a trace of color other than that bright smile that appears when his eyes lay on Phil. It’s safe to say that despite Dan’s dark look, it made Phil melt every moment they were together.

“Hey, Philly,” Dan starts, coming in for a hug. Phil hugs back; he was used to these by now, and every time the hug just seemed to make Phil all the more confused. “Thanks for letting me come over to beat your ass at Mario Kart some more.” He says, letting go of the hug and shooting Phil a devious grin.

Phil rolls his eyes, closing the front door and following Dan into his lounge. As they walk in, Dan’s already turning the TV on as if this were his own place. Phil didn’t mind, Dan’s been over several times by now and each time always revealed a bit more about the other. Dan had a right to be acting like he was a part of this house, Phil wouldn’t mind it anyways.

“Whatever.” Phil scoffs, taking the Wii U remote Dan was handing him and sitting crisscross on the sofa. “I’m going to be destroying you with red shells, just you wait.”

Dan laughs, “Yeah, you’ll be using red shells to beat me because the only way you can win is by cheats.”

Phil doubles back, acting as if he were in pain. “Ouch, that one hurt.” He laughs as Dan joins him on the couch. “You actually suck, Dan Howell.”

“Yes, and you, Phil Lester, swallow.” He grins, starting up the game.

He rolls his eyes at Dan’s immature come back. He’s fallen for an immature dork who's recently chosen to drop out of college in hopes to survive off of this website called YouTube; It’s alright though, Phil wouldn’t change it for the world.

Unless he’s fallen for a straight man, if this was the case he would prefer to just implode. That sounded like the most promising option.

                                                             *  *  *

“God dammit, Phil! This is seriously the third blue shell I’ve gotten this course, I am going to actually shit out an egg if you hit me one more time.” Dan exclaims, his irritation sounding quite genuine.

Phil only let’s out a small chuckle. “Sorry, mate. If you’re so pro then you should be able to win even with these hard core obstacles.”

The final lap is spent in an atmosphere of focused silence. Or, Dan was trying very hard to make it that way. Meanwhile, Phil was continuing his commentary while staying second place, approaching very close to surpassing Dan and taking first.

“I swear to every deity on earth, Phil Lester, if you hit me with anything-”

As they approach the finish line, Phil dodges a green shell, Dan being the unlucky person to get it instead. This causes Phil to not only take Dan’s place in first, but it also causes three other cars to pass the finish line before the younger one could recover and receive fourth place.

After a small fit from Dan, Phil is in an entire fit of laughter. “I hate you so much.” Dan mutters. The tone is completely opposite to how it was only minutes ago, it’s changed to something so much softer and filled with so much more care than it should have been.

Phil holds back the large kink in his throat that was starting to grow as he heard his tone and only finishes his fit of laughter by collapsing onto the rest of his sofa. “I know you do.” He smiles.

There’s a moment of silence, and the two seem to just be lost in thought for a while. Phil’s eyes remained closed, but he breaks the silence. “So, how’s life then?”

“Well, you see, just a bit complicated if I’m being honest.” Dan sighs.

This response causes Phil to immediately open his eyes and he sits up in Dan’s direction. That was his signal that now was time to get serious. This happened during most of their encounters, and Phil seriously lived for it. “I’m sorry to hear that, wanna talk about it?” Phil asks, crossing his legs again and sending Dan soft eyes of comfort and care.

There’s a grin that comes across his face as he looks over Phil. Dan’s eyes go soft and there’s a bittersweet smile when he starts to speak. “Well, haven’t really talked to you about this yet, but my love life is a complete mess.”

Phil’s attention is completely grabbed at the single sentence. This is exactly what he’s been waiting for this entire time. Dan’s talked about exes here and there, but he’s never really talked in depth about it all. The only downside to Dan’s words— this meant he actually had a love life to be worried about, one that Phil wasn’t apart of.

“Yeah? Well, go on, I’m hear to listen.”

Dan gets himself situated as he speaks. “Well, for starters I’m pretty sure I’ve fallen for someone who I can never have. It’s just, they’re just really nice and everything…”

“Mhmm.” Phil nods, just to let Dan know he was listening even though his eyes were staring at the ground blankly, his heart starting the shatter the more Dan spoke.

“I met them recently, and I really want to tell them something. I mean, I’ve been dropping hints about it but, he’s such a dork that I think he’s kind of blind to it all, y’know?”

Phil let’s out a single laugh. “Trust me, I know exactly what you’re talking about.”

Dan raises an eyebrow. “Do you? Well, tell me, did your dork just completely beat your ass at Mario Kart during what I figured was an unofficial date?”

It takes a moment for Phil to put it all together, but as soon as he’s analyzed the question his head turns to Dan to realize he’s moved over next to him. “Wait, what?!”

Because of the turning of Phil’s head, faces are closer than they’ve been before, and Dan has the largest smirk on his face as he’s glancing down at Phil’s lips. “Hey, Phil…” His voice is soft, and he says Phil’s name almost as if it were a question.

“Yeah, Dan?” His voice is high pitch and he’s almost one hundred percent sure his face is beyond red at this point. Phil is pretty confident he could melt into a puddle at any moment.

“Can I kiss you right now?”

Phil laughs at the question, and without and answer, Dan leans in and their lips touch. Soon, Dan is sitting on Phil’s lap and his fingers are tangling into locks of black. As Dan is nibbling at Phil’s bottom lip, Phil chuckles, accidentally ruining the make out session that was clearly about to ensue.

Dan looks down at him and cocks his head, grinning. “What? Are you one of those guys with sensitive lips or something?”

This statement causes Phil to laugh a bit more. “No, no, it’s just…” He pauses, looking up at Dan with a giant smile. “I guess this means you're into guys, then?”

A large smile comes across Dan’s face and his brown eyes are glowing with amusement at the question. “Well, I am currently sitting in the lap of the man whom I determined cute as fuck even before he spilled hot coffee on me, and now that we’re here I may or may not be thinking of something else to do with you right now.” He comes close to Phil’s face. “I think it’s safe to say I’m about as straight as a circle, Phil.” He laughs lightly, placing a chaste kiss on Phil’s lips before any response could be given.

Okay, so maybe Dan was a little bit into guys. But, Louise would just have to find out tomorrow morning, as Phil’s sure the remainder of his night has just been made.

[socialriotbitch]

Tagged by @dvasing​ (so sorry I didn’t see this sooner I swear I wasn’t ignoring you I just haven’t checked my notifications lately ahhhhhhh. Thank you!!)

Rules: You must answer these 92 statements and tag 20 people

YOUR LAST: 1. Drink: milk 2. Phone call: my mother 3. Text message: a friend 4. Song you listened to: the GazettE - Hedoro 5. Time you cried: yesterday I got emotional about aoi

HAVE YOU EVER: 6. Dated someone twice: I’ve dated someone thrice don’t ask it was a weird thing 7. Been cheated on: I don’t think so, but I’m polyamorous so my definition of cheating is very different from most people’s 8. Kissed someone and regretted it: sudden flashbacks to when I thought I was into guys. hahahahhahahha good times 9. Lost someone special: lost how? as in they died? as in we’re no longer close? 10. Been depressed: at some point chronically 11. Gotten drunk and thrown up: I’ve never actually been drunk

LIST 3 FAVORITE COLORS: 12. black 13. red 14. blue

IN THE LAST YEAR HAVE YOU: 15. Made new friends: yeah 16. Fallen out of love: this raises the question: have I been in love in the last year? idfk 17. Laughed until you cried: yeah 18. Found out someone was talking about you: just talking? not specifically in a negative way? I guess 19. Met someone who changed you: hmmm nah 20. Found out who your true friends are: hmmm nah 21. Kissed someone on your Facebook list: I don’t have facebook

GENERAL: 22. How many of your Facebook friends do you know in real life: see question 21 23. Do you have any pets: currently a dog 24. Do you want to change your name: yep 25. What did you do for your last birthday: ate sushi and went to work 26. What time did you wake up: first time around 7:30, then I slept until noon 27. What were you doing at midnight last night: writing fanfiction and listening to music 28. Name something you cannot wait for: the GazettE’s next album (jk I will wait like a good minion) 29. When was the last time you saw your mother: half an hour ago 30. What is one thing you wish you could change about your life: I wanna stop being so damn lazy 31. What are you listening to right now: nothing actually, I have a headache 32. Have you ever talked to a person named Tom: yeah 33. Something that is getting on your nerves: people, constantly, always 34. Most visited website: youtube or ao3 35. Elementary: done 36. High School: dropped out 37. College: nah 38. Hair color: brown 39. Long or short hair: medium 40. Do you have a crush on someone: so many 41. What do you like about yourself: everything, I mean what’s not to like? I really love my writing, my body, and my positivity though 42. Piercings: ears, bridge, snakebite (singular) 43. Blood type: dude I don’t know. if I was allowed to donate blood maybe I would know sob 44. Nickname: Ellie 45. Relationship status: open/polyamorous 46. Zodiac sign: western: taurus, chinese: fire ox 47. Pronouns: she/her 48. Favorite TV show: hooooOOOOO boy. there are many. generally everything I’ve reblogged more than one gifset of, okay 49. Tattoos: I’m too poor, but when I get money I’m gonna get hella inked 50. Right- or left-handed: right

FIRST: 51. Surgery: never had any 52. Piercing: my ears 54. Sport: karate 55. Vacation: oh man I was in thailand when I was like half a year old does that count 56. Pair of trainers: like I would remember

MORE GENERAL: 57. Eating: chocolate 58. Drinking: I have a water bottle but 59. I’m about to: write some more fanfiction 61. Waiting for: a reply to this text 62. Want: another girlfriend (sapphic poly dom chicks hmu) 63. Get married: don’t want to 64. Career: I wish I could be an author and live off writing but I’d need to stop procrastinating my writing so much (case point: I’m on tumblr right now) 65. Hugs or kisses: both!!!! 66. Lips or eyes: hmmmmmmmboth 67. Shorter or taller: I prefer shorter people tbh 68. Older or younger: older 69. Light or dark eyes: dark 70. Nice arms or nice stomach: what do you mean by nice? like to my tastes? I want everything to be to my tastes (but am also cool with that not being the case) 71. Sensitive or loud: loud. hella loud. 72. Hookup or relationship: both are good in different situations I think 73. Troublemaker or hesitant: a bit of both, I don’t wanna hurt people who don’t deserve to be hurt, but I ignore a lot of rules/norms simply out of spite soooo

HAVE YOU EVER: 74. Kissed a stranger: haha yeah 75. Drank hard liquor: no 76. Lost glasses contact/lenses: my eyesight is a perfect 20/20 but I once lost my colour contact at a convention 77. Turned someone down: yeah 78. Sex on first date: SADLY NO (also dating culture isn’t a thing where I come from, so I don’t even know if I’ve been on a first date because I haven’t gone on a “date” with someone I wasn’t already in a relationship with, you see) 79. Broken someone’s heart: yeah 80. Had your heart broken: see so once upon a time Reita didn’t tweet me back and I cried (liek if u also cried) 81. Been arrested: no 82. Cried when someone died: yeah 83. Fallen for a friend: yeah

DO YOU BELIEVE IN: 84. Yourself: YEAH 85. Miracles: no 86. Love at first sight: ehhhhhhh maybe 87. Santa Claus: no 88. Kiss on the first date: again what the fuck is a first date? just do what you want to my pal kiss all the people you want whenever you want (so long as they also want it that’s the rule) 89. Angels: no

OTHER: 90. Current best friend’s name: In no specific order: Teck and Kaia 91. Eye color: green/brown 92. Favourite movie: I don’t know about favourite but I’ve watched the LotR trilogy about 15 times so (and TH about 8)

I tag: @galaxy-alec @teckuilla and any of my mutuals who want to (just pretend I tagged you)