#sorry for homeland posting on main

[atomicradiogirl]

they just really don’t make tv like this anymore

[gristlegrinder]

i have many thoughts about the expansion (almost all overwhelmingly positive) (maybe i’ll try to pin them down into a cohesive post after my retail shift today) but the thing i keep thinking about is how the diagonals on the compass rose seem to suggest where future expansion zones might be taking place. mr john arenanet please let us go to the charr homelands in the northeast blazeridge mountains. please. blood citadel. please. please. blood citadel. please

[gu6chan]

wenn i an am ze fix langweiliga fahnenwettbewerb teilnahme und mei gegna is de voiksrepublik bayern/sowjetrepublik bayern vo 1918-1919

[loosesodamarble]

About the recent chapter drop...

So chapters 374, 375, and 376 of the Black Clover manga dropped as of the day I've started drafting this post. I have many feelings about this chapter, as several friends can attest. I was going a little a lot feral in a group chat.

Wanna quickly tag @thoughtfullyrainynightmare, @lyranova, and @kalolasfantasyworld for encouraging me to write this little essay. I'll also tag @drmarune as a fellow Faust fan (I know you also love the Yami family so hopefully my thoughts on them are satisfactory).

So let me begin with saying that I'm mainly a Faust girlie. But I will be covering both the Yami and the Fausts to the best of my abilities because the family stories are connected. I cannot give thorough commentary on the chapters if I ignore what's going on with Yami and Ichika.

Okay so! Where to start with my analysis?

I guess the most obvious place to start is with Chapter 374. Title: Demon-God. The "Demon-God" in question is supposed to be Yami. Yami's Dark Magic is seen as ominous and being the attribute of a supreme devil enhances its demonic connotation. Grey, while healing Yami's wounds in chapter 323, noted that Yami's body had become devil-like. Yami is infamously known as the "God of Destruction" in Clover Kingdom. And finally, in chapter 342, Ichika and Yami's father stated that the Yami clan reserves a title for the strongest member of them. The title: Demon-God. (In other words, this chapter could've been titled "Yami Sukehiro" and it wouldn't have changed anything./lh

Looking between when Yami takes the demon soul pill and the fuzzy glimpses of when Ichika took the pill, I'm wondering if the main reason Yami was able to stay sane while under the drug's effects has to do with his current condition. What I mean is... Ichika was just... kinda there. There's not much detail but there didn't seem to be much going on and Ichika and Yami's father just gave Ichika the drug on a whim. There was no outlet for the surge in Ichika's physical prowess. Meanwhile, Yami takes the drug while severely injured but also in the mindset that he has to get up and help fight off Lucius's army. His physical abilities are getting kicked into high gear and he has something to target with those powers. Maybe my reading is weird or wrong. But could it be that the reason no member of the Yami clan was able to stay in control when they took the drug is because they weren't taking it in the right condition. Like, being on death's door probably isn't a prerequisite but maybe no one took the drug with firm grasp on what to do with the excess power. I dunno.

Rewinding a bit... That reunion! FUCKING IMPECCABLE! I love the way Yami at first sees Ichika as a little kid. The way he remembered her last he saw took precedence over reality for a moment (AND HE'S NOT THE ONLY VICTIM OF IT!). I love Ichika's apology; the way she details the truths she learned recently (probably not just from her memories being triggered but I'd assume she had Ryuu clarify everything to her so she could really be thankful to Yami for making sure she'd be alright) then topping it off with the "I'm sorry." As a little sister who has misinterpreted things done by my older siblings, I really felt for Ichika. I can tell that Ichika is in pain, realizing how she wronged Yami by viewing him as a destroyer, but there's also so clearly a relief in knowing that the whole time, he had her best interests at heart. (Okay, my sisters never murdered our whole family clan, but you get the idea.) And Yami doesn't linger on it. He accepts her apology and even points out how he had help making sure Ichika was okay.

The flashback of Yami and Ryuuya parting ways... Ryuu always believed in Yami. Also, I love the panel of Yami with the torii gate and the rising sun behind him. The juxtaposition of the torii gate and rising sun - very Japanese and thus Hino symbols - with Yami being just about to leave Hino is like... Symbols of his homeland seeing him off essentially. MAN! I FELT SOMETHING THERE! Anyways, I know that Yami and Ryuu are looking forward to meeting up again now that they know it's possible.

Now back to when Yami has taken the demon soul pill. Yami is taking on his final form as the Demon-God of Destruction. I love the way Yami's form looks.

The splatter of blood from his wounds is replaced by Dark Magic spreading over his body. The facial markings draw one's attention to Yami's eyes and it makes me think of how on oni masks in noh theater(? I think I have that right), the upper brow and the cheeks are scrunched closer to the eye area to frame the eyes. I'm talking out of my ass here, sorry. His thoughts in the moment too are so juicy! Before, his protection of Ichika meant abandoning her. No more of that though; they're together again and Yami will keep it that way.

I love how his panel shows that Yami has incarnated into a true God of Destruction. But he's not destroying aimlessly. He's in control and he's directing his path of chaos towards Lucius's madness and will tear it apart to save everyone.

Yami and Ichika don't get to have a long heart-to-heart due to the present circumstances but Tabata gave them just long enough to breathe and reconcile. To me, it also keeps in line with the way the Yami family works. Yami Sukehiro is quick to act and react. He bears some heavy burdens in his life but he is not a man who wallows in pity or sorrow. His response to adversity is to take it in stride as best he can and make his way towards the future. He accepts Ichika's apology and the pill to awaken what has always been a part of him: the will to protect. Ichika is shaken from seeing her brother so helpless and pouring her heart out in what little time she had. And Yami did shield her at the end of chapter 374, but in the next chapters, she's locked into a fighting mindset. She says herself that she won't stand by any more; she intends to shoulder the responsibility of this battle and fight alongside her brother as an equal. The Yamis are resilient people who can take so much, and the burdens are made easier now that they can carry them together.

Speaking of together, the combo spell that Yami and Ichika have is called "Black Heavens." It's got layers! The Yami clan are connected to demons and devils through their Dark Magic and thus stand opposite of the heavens thematically speaking. The combo spell also builds off of Ichika's Black Star spell and Yami's Black Hole spell. The way the Dark Magic is the antithesis of a religious heaven, darkness is what makes up most of the spatial heavens is awesome. Also the fact that black holes form when stars die and collapse... Yami is the older (and thus closer to dying) sibling... I just needed to put those thoughts out there while still firmly on the topic of the Yami siblings.

Now onto the next chapters...

Chapters 375 and 376 have to be talked together because just like Nacht and Morgen as twins, and just like the Faust-Yami dramas, the two are connected! 375 is titled Strafe and 376 is Sühne. The English releases of the chapters clarify that the words mean "punishment" and "atonement" respectively (if there is any specific connotations to those words, they're lost on me and I would happily accept any clarifications). (Also note that the words are German; Faust and Germany just go hand-in-hand). I've already made a post about Nacht and how his character centers on the themes of punishment and atonement. To quickly summarize, Nacht's character is about continually punishing himself as his atonement for killing Morgen. (I do also point out how he avoids forgiveness as a way to resolve his guilt, but there isn't a chapter titled "Forgiveness" here, now is there?) So these chapters seem to be Tabata's finale for Nacht (and Morgen). (I do hope that a page of the next chapter does see Nacht and Morgen sharing some final words, because if Acier got to give her kids some kind of goodbye, then Morgen should get a chance to say something to Nacht as well. Please Tabata.)

Moving on from just the chapter titles! What actually happens in the two chapters?

Chapter 375 starts with Nacht getting a good look at Morgen and, like the fandom did chapters ago, clocking the devil that Morgen is in possession of: Lucifugus. The wretched memory of the day Nacht tried to summon Lucifugus is burned into his memory; of course he'd recognize the bastard.

Regarding Nacht's thought that Lucifugus is controlling Morgen's body... We know from Sister Lily's words/behaviors (a bit of Acier too at the very end for her) that the human beings who have been turned into Paladins are still conscious/aware/present as themselves. It's just that Lucius's brainwashing is forcing them to believe a certain way, spout that nonsense about "saving the world," and take the actions they are taking. Put simply: a fragment of their true selves exists within the false persona of the Paladin that Lucius forced on them. However, I'm certain that Nacht knows it is in fact Morgen in control but he's trying to tell himself otherwise.

I mean, looking back at chapter 374, Nacht's immediate reaction to seeing Paladin Morgen is to mentally call him Morgen! It's then here in chapter 375 where Nacht is saying that Morgen isn't in control.

Nacht is distressed. He's face-to-face with Morgen, whom he killed, and using the very same power that Nacht had tried to gain and caused Morgen's demise. It's double the shame and guilt on Nacht's conscious. And so he tells himself that it's Lucifugus, not really Morgen, in control. It's an act of desperation. Nacht is trying to convince himself that it's not Morgen's he's facing as a way to relieve himself of some of the stress/anguish that would come from this battle and defeating his opponent. Because if it's not really Morgen, then Nacht wouldn't have to feel any more guilt/grief about it, would he?

I think it's entirely in-character of Nacht. He's attempting to distance himself from the reality before him, similar to how he distanced his past failings from his own person by projecting his criticisms onto the Black Bulls. It never erased his feelings of self-loathing, but it was what Nacht did so he wouldn't just sit and wallow in misery. He pushed his self-hatred onto others and became the cold, critical vice captain of the Black Bulls to fulfill his mission of spying on Spade Kingdom. And now, instead of projection, he's straight up denying things. In this battle against Paladin Morgen, Nacht is trying to ignore the painful reality in order to spare his feelings and see the fight through.

But Nacht couldn't deny the truth for long.

Lucifugus wouldn't be saying these things to him. Who knows what Lucifugus would say to Nacht, if anything at all. Either way, it's Morgen speaking to Nacht. And it shakes Nacht to his core. Not the mention that what Morgen says would also drive the knife deeper into Nacht's heart. The brothers may not have been close while Morgen was alive, but Morgen still understands Nacht enough to call out his feelings of despair.

The way I'm reading it, Nacht falters in battle because he can no longer lie to himself. He's fighting Morgen. A twisted up version of his beloved younger brother, but it's Morgen nonetheless. In submitting to that reality, his feelings (guilt, sorrow, remorse) overwhelm Nacht and it gives Morgen the chance to gain the upper hand in their fight.

And like with Yami seeing Ichika as her younger self for a moment, Nacht's view of Morgen is from ten years back (you can tell by the fluffy robe having having grey shading while Morgen's Paladin robe is pure white and the details on the collar area). At least for one page, we know that Nacht sees Morgen not as the enemy Paladin, but as the kind and noble Magic Knight he used to be. (The present and Nacht's memories of Morgen overlapping and distracting him earlier on too is something I personally believe in just to make it all the more painful. But that's more headcanon and not analysis.)

Nacht laments how he thought he'd already cried all his tears before. But that can't be the case. Nacht's love for Morgen is an active and present feeling for Nacht. So long as Nacht loves Morgen is something alive in his heart, he will find himself crying over and over again for the loss of Morgen's life. That's the way it seems to be turning out for Nacht. Unless he completely closed his heart off to his affection for Morgen, his tears will never truly dry up. It's small, quick line in the chapter but it speaks so deeply to Nacht's feelings. In contrast to Yami who can take things in stride and move on, Nacht is someone who holds onto his suffering and lets it haunt him to the depths of his soul. Nacht and his thoughts focus on things that are gone and cannot be changed. While he does live in the present and makes things better for the future, Nacht has trapped himself with thoughts of a past that can't be undone. It's part of the tragedy that is Nacht's character.

(Real quick, we're going to put a pin in Morgen saying "Brother, let's start over again. Together!" Right before he attempts to blast the ever loving crap out of Nacht. Mixed messages much?)

I wanna bring back the title of chapter 375: Strafe (Punishment). Back in chapters 285 and 287 (coincidentally before and after Nacht's backstory in chapter 286), Nacht thinks to himself "I don't care if I die." Nacht nearly sacrificed himself three times during the battle. Devaluing his life over and over was Nacht's way of punishing himself for his past. And now Nacht is repeating that behavior as he tells himself that he'll defeat the Lucius clone and Morgen even if it kills him. Nacht showed himself some mercy when he stated his intent to live with the Bulls properly. However, he didnt actually stop seeing himself as an expendable sacrifice; in his eyes, his death is worth more than any life he could life. Which hurts to see as a Nacht fan! This time, though, Nacht isn't endangering himself as punishment but he still receives it. Morgen, the very person Nacht wronged so many years ago, is the one delivering the punishment. Physically and emotionally, Nacht's being destroyed. And, in my eyes, it could be that Nacht is okay with it. He didn't stop hating himself, he just stopped acting on that self-destructive feeling. He's accepting Morgen's attacks because Nacht's pain in the present can't be as bad as the pain Morgen felt as he died.

Thankfully, Yami comes in for the save. And when he gives Nacht another talking to, Yami says this:

Yami knows that Nacht didn't let go of the past. That he's been quietly keeping the pain in his heart. The way Yami validates the idea that Morgen's death is a sin on Nacht's part is fascinating. Looking at the big picture, it was more an unfortunate accident; Nacht did incite it by summoning Lucifugus but Morgen chose to destroy the relic with his own hands. Neither Nacht nor Morgen are to blame, they just took actions in line with who they are and it resulted in Morgen's sacrifice. Whether or not Yami wholeheartedly agrees with Nacht's view is a discussion for another time but here, in the moment, Yami leans into it. Yami speaks to Nacht based on those beliefs. From there, he drill it into Nacht's head that if he's going to hold onto what happened as his sin, then he has to use it as a way to push himself into the right course of action rather than let it stop him dead in his tracks. In chapter 376, Ichika also chimes in to get Nacht on his feet again. Her remark isn't only directed at herself; it resonates with Nacht too. Neither of them can leave Yami to deal with Morgen on his own. They don't have the luxury to stand idle and both of them are people that are above being victims of their pasts. Yami was there to protect them so they have to do the same.

Yami and Ichika's words together deliver a powerful message. “If you are going to carry a sin on your conscious, do something with it.” For Nacht (and anyone really), it's a mistake to acknowledge his faults and leave it at that. It doesn't do any good. To give meaning to his sin and the feelings that come with it, Nacht has to act upon them. He has to do what needs to be done to make up for the sin. That means killing Morgen again, not as a tragic accident but as an act of care and the means to free his spirit. It doesn't erase a thing but it makes things as right as they can be.

Quick break from Nacht and his feelings regarding Morgen to have a talk about Yami and his Morgen related feelings!

Yami has a moment to share words with Morgen. He makes it clear that his ire is directed at Lucius. In Yami's mind, there's no real blame on Morgen for his actions as a Paladin. He understands that Morgen wouldn't want so much death and destruction in the name of a new world. It's all Lucius's manipulations. And this view of Morgen again shows the contrast between Yami and Nacht. Nacht is stuck in the past and is seeing Morgen as his dear brother who he couldn't do anything for. Meanwhile, Yami's thoughts are in the present and he's seeing Morgen not as his friend but as an unfortunate puppet being controlled. Yami does acknowledge Morgen as the enemy but he's drawing a fine line between Paladin Morgen and the Morgen he knew.

Also, Yami's desire to see the memory of Morgen be untainted by his deeds as a Paladin is an interesting contrast to his usual feelings towards being looked down on. He's shrugs off most insults towards him (though he can admit when his feelings do get hurt) and is fine with the Black Bulls being considered the worst squad. But Morgen is different. Yami doesn't want to see Morgen become someone tainted by acts of cruelty, even if they aren't entirely his own choice. It says so much about Yami for him to want to preserve the integrity of Morgen's memory. He treasures his friendship with Morgen so deeply because Morgen was one of the first people to accept Yami and believe he could be a squad captain. Yami won't let anyone have any reason to think unfavorably of Morgen. He who saw the good in all should be seen as good by all. That is Yami's belief. I love it so much.

Back to focusing on Nacht!

We return to Nacht at the start of chapter 376: Sühne (Atonement). This chapter really is all about Nacht's final act of atonement for the sin he'd been punishing himself over for years.

Now before he re-enters the battle, Nacht has a moment of contemplation. The dream he describes is brief but it carries so much meaning. Nacht looks back and wishes he'd joined the Grey Deers as Morgen had always suggested he do. He really had always desired a closeness with Morgen but his fear of doing harm to his brother instead outweighed his love. His regret over not taking Morgen's hand sooner is evident and it again drives home the idea that Nacht's thoughts always return to the past to haunt him. And the line about Nacht and Yami fighting over Morgen's attention shatters my heart further because-!

Morgen probably would've chosen Nacht over Yami if he had the option. As much as Morgen and Yami made a good team, Morgen wanted to share that understanding and synergy with Nacht.

(Also, we are creating another pin for this moment.)

Both of the Fausts were jealous of the bond that Yami had their brother! Morgen and Nacht are more alike than either of the realize and it's yet another tragedy in their lives that they will never know that about each other! I JUST! AAAAAAAAUUUUUUUUUUUGH! I can't be calm about this, guys! Morgen and Nacht keep reaching into my soul and drawing out more of my love and tears with how their dynamic continues to grow more heartbreaking!

(Deep breaths, Soda! Take deep, slow breaths now...)

Nacht thinks about how Morgen would've smiled at his and Yami's antics. Morgen is always smiling in Nacht's memories (except when he infiltrated the Fausts' devil ritual basement and tried to dissuade Nacht from summoning Lucifugus, but that was a special circumstance). Morgen's smile being so ever-present in Nacht (and Yami's) recollections of him goes to show that he was a beacon of positivity to both of them. Morgen was light, warmth, happiness.

But Nacht always wakes from that dream and he cries each time, mourning the loss of something that never was but could've been. But he refused to have any of that, having pushed Morgen away each time he asked Nacht to join him. Instead Nacht chose the path of devils and Forbidden Magic. He widened the chasm between himself and Morgen. His actions have led him to a world where he caused his brother's death and now will have to see him die again. In short, the first page of chapter 376 is about the ache caused by what Nacht wants in his dreams and what he has to face in reality.

We cut to Yami fighting Morgen for a bit which includes Morgen refuting Yami's statement that Lucius is a bastard. And we also see Morgen saying

(Adding another pin for that. We'll come back, promise. It's just that I want to divulge the very depths of my Morgen thoughts closer to the end [closer to Morgen's end really].)

I've already discussed how Ichika's words with Nacht help him with his mental/emotional breakthrough so I'll skip over that portion of chapter 376.

As I said at the start, the Faust and Yami family stories are connected. They parallel each other. The families are connected to demons or devils (demon soul pills for Yamis and devil binding ritual for Fausts). The elder sibling was seen as an ideal heir (Yami's strength was lauded by his father and Nacht's father said that Nacht "inherited the magic and the spirit" for dealing with devils). Despite not being what their parents wanted, the younger siblings do find an honorable place for themselves in society: Ichika becomes a Ryuzen Seven and Morgen was a Magic Knight. Both families experience a tragedy and the ideal heir from either family withdraws from their younger sibling, but those events happen in different orders between the two. The Yami clan was slaughtered and then Yami left Hino while taking the blame for the incident. In the Faust family, Nacht emotionally pulling away from Morgen and going down the path of devils is what led to the confrontation in the ritual room and everyone's deaths. Nacht and Yami carry the burden of those incidents. Nacht blames and punishes himself for his crime against Morgen. Yami takes the blame for a crime he didn't commit for Ichika's sake.

The families also contrast each other. Before the Yami clan was destroyed, Yami and Ichika were rather close (Yami urged Ichika to follow him when he left the house in that one flashback). But, as said earlier, Nacht and Morgen had grown apart before Morgen's death. Yami and Ichika look remarkably different but their magics are the same. Nacht and Morgen are identical twins but their magic attributes are different (but complementary). Yami protected Ichika in the past and now has a chance to fight alongside her. Nacht hurt Morgen in the past and has to fight against him in the present. The Yami family's resolution brings them closer together and heals them. The Faust family's resolution involves once against being separated and an unending pain for Nacht.

Talk about a well-constructed narrative and characters right there.

Now that I've noted the families' connections, it's time to return my focus to solely the Fausts.

Nacht's words to himself before he re-enters the fray. Again, his thoughts turn to his own death. But here he admits that dying would be the easy way out for him. He looked down on his own life, sought his death, because dying would be an escape from having to carry the guilt for the rest of his life. Then Nacht comes a realization: "Tears don't mark the end of sin." He realizes now that leaving his emotions to stew won't resolve the sin. What Nacht needs to do is to fully atone for what he did and that will give closure for what he's held onto for so long.

Nacht's four devil Unite form isn't as complex as his other forms but it doesn't bother me. It's probably for the better that Tabata didn't try to design something that incorporated elements from all four forms. Equus gets the most representation in the four-way Devil Unite with shields and the minimal armor around his shoulders. Otherwise, Nacht is simply cloaked in shadows and the combined might of his devils (and anti-magic, can't forget the anti-magic). I love the clear view of all the facial markings brought on by the devil unions (especially since the face covering that came with Equus form made it hard to tell where the markings were!). He's lowkey matching Yami and his facial markings. AND THE CROWN OF HORNS! MY GOODNESS! My friends know how much I get worked up over Nacht and his horns. I'm positively feral that Tabata has given me canonical eight-horned Nacht! KJADHGIUAEHTHAEIHT! (Coherent thoughts, Soda!) Also, I can also tell that the combined power has made the horns manifest larger than they usually would on Nacht. Him using all four devils at once is him fully embracing his dark past. Maybe he formed his contracts with Gimodelo and the others in the wrong mindset, but things have changed. He's using an "evil" power that killed Morgen for good, to save Morgen (through death but saving regardless).

Morgen, upon seeing Nacht unleash his full potential says something he said during Nacht's flashbacks of him: that Nacht has the greatest talent for magic. He even says "I knew it" and looks eager/fascinated by what he's seeing. Morgen really does have so much faith in his older brother. It'd be sweeter if the two of them weren't on a collision course for combat.

And what a feast for the eyes the battle is. It turns into chaos, but a beautiful

The combo spell from Nacht empowered Shadow Magic and the Yamis' Dark Magic is Walpurgis Night. It's of course tied to Nacht more than the Yamis, as that event is celebrated the night and day of Nacht and Morgen's birth dates. There is so much more to Nacht and Morgen's connection to that holiday since it's about warding evil spirits and protection of witchcraft. Like, Morgen first protected Nacht from Lucifugus and now Nacht has to protect the world from the evil Morgen is enacting on behalf of Lucius. That's all I can say about that though since that's basically all I know about Walpurgis Night. (Maybe in the future I can read through all of Wikipedia's cited sources and more to actually know the whole deal.)

Morgen puts up quite the fight against three opponents, two of whom have their physical and magical abilities at their peak at the moment. He doesn't know it but these are his final moments.

So let me talk about what I've observed and come to believe about Morgen.

Morgen Faust. A man who was good incarnate. The very picture of a good man. Who loved everyone and was loved by everyone. It was in his nature to help, save, and protect others. But his perfect image hid someone who probably felt very lonely.

Let's bring back those pins we gathered earlier. The first two pins (the starting over and Morgen admitting Yami was a better partner for Nacht) are very easily connected. Morgen's dream had been to be close with Nacht, to stand side-by-side with him. But they weren't close. Then Morgen saw Yami, a stranger from a foreign land, connect to Nacht with incredible ease. It probably hurt Morgen to see that, to see that Nacht found someone else to share his joys with. Morgen didn't hate Yami for being more compatible with Nacht and even befriended Yami himself. Morgen, at least in my personal headcanons, might've seen getting close to Yami as a way of better understanding Nacht. But even though Morgen could get along with someone who was Nacht's friend, he still couldn't directly close the gap between him and his brother. Again and again, Morgen suggested Nacht join the Magic Knights but was always brushed aside. And so Morgen was left feeling frustrated and probably a little lonely too because he couldn't have the one bond he wished for.

In reading the recent chapters and looking back on old chapters regarding him, I wonder if Morgen reached out to and accepted others so easily because of his missing connection with Nacht. As in, being pushed away by Nacht made Morgen want to ensure that no one else felt rejected or left alone. It's not compensating for something he lacked, but rather a reaction of "I was hurt in the one way so I will protect others from that same hurt." I believe Morgen genuinely cared for the people he knew in some capacity though not in the same way he valued Nacht. To apply some specific terminology, Morgen holds storgic love ("Because we have the specific bond of family, I love you") for Nacht and agapic love ("Because you are a human being, I love you") for everyone else. So Morgen loved everyone. And everyone loved him back. Though I doubt the adoration of strangers did anything to soothe the ache Morgen felt over Nacht's absence in his life. Either we've experienced it ourselves or seen it represented in media: Person A has an event and want Person B there to support them; the event comes around and A discovers B isn't there so even if they win or get praise from others, not having B there makes it hard to celebrate. That's what it probably was like for Morgen not having Nacht with him.

In the end, Morgen was unable to close the rift between himself and Nacht. And it was his dying regret. Revived a Paladin, Morgen voices his desire to start over with Nacht, to make right the mistake of not being close to him when he was originally alive.

The lack of a specific bond wasn't the only thing making Morgen lonely. I think Morgen also isolated himself in a way. He put himself under pressure to be strong by himself.

Let's bring back pin three, where Morgen says he'll clear the way for a new world. Looking at that alone, he's kinda just saying that he's following Lucius's orders to fight the Magic Knights for Lucius's victory. But then put this proclamation with what Morgen said back in chapter 368:

And also what he thinks to himself in chapter 376:

He talks about fighting and being the strongest on his own.

I also want to point to how he confronted his family about their work with devils. He came to the underground ritual chamber alone, and not even while wearing his uniform as a Grey Deer on top of that. Forbidden Magic was being practiced and Morgen could've (probably should've) brought along his squad to arrest his family and their followers. But he didn't. He faced his family's sins not as a Magic Knight but merely as Morgen Faust. In Morgen's eyes, it was his family's business and thus his personal responsibility as part of it to stop them.

So we have repeated instances of Morgen voicing thoughts and acting in ways where he sets himself up to be on his own. I can think of several factors for why Morgen might have this mindset. He was the black sheep of his family and overlooked by his parents so he didn't have their support. Nacht kept his distance too. His Light Magic also meant he was looked up to, believed to be strong like the first Wizard King, just for having the attribute he had. All of these together would feed into the belief that Morgen is separate from other, for better or worse. With that belief instilled, Morgen could then tell himself that he has to rely on his own strength, that others can rely on his power alone.

Yes, Morgen seeks partnership from Nacht and works alongside Yami but ultimately tells himself he has to do things by himself. And it's possible that Morgen wanted to be closer to Nacht because he thought that only his brother, his flesh and blood, could be depended on to lessen Morgen's burdens.

Morgen becomes a lot more tragic with all this in mind. He wasn't just a pure soul who died young. He wasn't just a good man lost to sacrifice. He was a lonely person who struggled between his desire for a bond with his brother and his belief that he had to stand alone. Worse yet, he keeps on ending up alone. Other members of the former Grey Deer like Yami and William get their own squads and become more associated with those groups. Morgen by himself as a legacy member of the Grey Deer. Ten years ago and in the present day, Morgen has no one with him in death while Nacht and Yami get to continue living and working as partners.

Like the words that chapter 376 has near it's end says, "The brighter the light, the deeper the shadow it casts." All of Morgen's good, the inspiration he brought and the hope he symbolizes for others, is so bright. But it makes the shadow of sorrow that might exist within Morgen all the more saddening to me.

This is just my own reading of Morgen so take what I've said with a grain of salt but... At least for me, Morgen has gained a whole new depth to his character thanks to these new chapters and how it made things from before clicking into place for me. I don't always like Tabata's handling of the story, but I do love what he's given me for me to draw the conclusions I have.

Well that's Morgen's finale. And now for my last statement on Nacht's part of the chapters.

Quick observation: to me, part of Nacht's horn set up from his four-way Unite, resembles Morgen's own. From Slotos and Plumede, Nacht gets horns that point outward and curse in a way that matches Lucifugus's horns.

You can best compare it here and even with Nacht partially obscured... I can see the similarity.

Moving on, or rather moving back to the line, "the brighter the light, the deeper the shadow it casts." It brings to mind that one quote "for the greater the love the greater the grief" by C.S. Lewis. It captures part of the core to Nacht's character. His love for Morgen was so deep that the grief of losing him transformed him as a person. Morgen's light of hope was so bright and it makes Nacht's shadow of despair dark.

But the true essence of who Nacht is comes from the last words in the chapter, his last words to Morgen.

"Goodbye, Morgen. I will shoulder this pain forever."

Nacht regretted his sin, punished himself for it, and atoned for it through killing Morgen a second time. This is his closure for the past. But even with that, Nacht cannot - will not - is let go of his sin or the pain it's caused him. It's a part of him for the rest of his life. He will find it in himself to live and maybe even find happiness, but the love and happiness he got from having Morgen around will never be replaced or filled in. Morgen is lost forever and so Nacht will mourn forever.

Part of me is sad to know that Nacht has committed himself to such feelings. But a greater part of me understands that it's a part of his character and loves him for it. He holds on, to his emotions or the people he cares for, so fiercely to the point of it hurting him. It's probably not a healthy mindset to have but Nacht's fictional so we can let it slide. I see it as tragic but also admirable.

To me, this is the real end of Nacht's arc. First in Spade, he had to learn that despite his faults, there were people who cared for him enough to save him. And now on Judgment Day, Nacht faces his sin head on and gives it a resolution, thus accepting all he's done and all of himself where he once projected his self-loathing onto others.

I'm left with bittersweet feelings from these chapters. There was beautiful art. I developed a deeper appreciation for characters who aren't my favorite characters. The characters that I do adore above all the rest got a spotlight on them. Morgen and Nacht both showed off incredible feats of power and their story got an ending. All good things. But I've also come to see a much sadder side to Morgen beyond being a black sheep. And Nacht's statement of eternal pain brings me to actual tears just thinking of it. I'm also upset that unlike Acier, Morgen isn't shown giving a goodbye to his family but I can still hope that chapter 377 spares page time for that. But even with these sad notes, I'm happy because I can better appreciate the Fausts with what I've been shown.

I love these chapters and the stories they tell/finish. I can't wait for the physical volume containing the chapters so I can return to them over and over again.

I hope that this post wasn't boring or too repetitive. I hope it made sense. I had to bounce around in the chapters' details and even called back to older chapters to get my points across. I just... had a lot to say. Several times while writing this, I ended up going back to add onto a topic I thought I'd finished (I'm looking at you Yami family and the Walpurgis Night spell).

I didn't have any plans for what I was going to say. I knew I was going to talk about how the Yami and Faust family dynamics closed out and the development of my perception of Morgen. But a lot of things just came to me as I wrote. And I think that worked for the best.

Thank you to whoever was able to power through this massively long post. Or even just read specific parts. Anyone looking at this post at all would mean something to me because while I mostly write this so my head and heart wouldn't explode from keeping it all inside, being heard by another is nice.

Thank you to any readers. Thank you, Tabata for writing Black Clover. Thank you, Yami and Ichika for your shared arc and contributions to this chapter. And thank you, Nacht and Morgen Faust for lighting my soul on fire.

[inspirationalucky]

EPIC: THE VENGEANCE SAGA PROMPTS & STARTERS.

of course, go ahead and change names/pronouns/words/etc as necessary to fit your muse or the situation! please do not add more lines/prompts to this post!

Not Sorry for Loving You

"Someone arrived today."

"They said they're taking you away."

"You're not mine to save"

"Soon, I won't get to see your face."

"You're unlike anyone I have ever known."

"You're all I've ever known."

"If I ambushed you, for that I'll say I was wrong."

"If you hate me, then I am sorry my love's too much for you."

"I'm not sorry for loving you!"

"Let me speak!"

"I spent my whole life here."

"I was cast away when I was young."

"I thought for sure that you were my dream come true."

"I'm angry, and tired, and restless, and sad."

"I'm stuck in the moments I swore that we had!"

"I wish you would chase me or try to embrace me!"

"I love you, but not in the way that you want me to."

"I hate that I fell in love with you!"

"What do I do with this love for you?"

"Why in the world won't you love me too?"

Dangerous

"I had one goal in mind."

"How will I reach my homeland?"

"Hello, old friend!"

"You're being given a final option."

"Consider this your one last chance to make it back home"

"If your plan's so great, then why'd you wait to say it?"

"It's a little bit dangerous, my friend."

"You'll need a mindset change for this."

"You cannot get away with playing safe for this."

"You wanna get home? Put it all on the line."

"Remember every trick in your domain for this."

"You gotta treat it like it is the main event!"

"All right, I'm in. What do I do?"

"Follow the North Star!"

"Fight your way through, do what you must do."

"No matter what, keep moving."

"You won't get another time to try."

"It was meant to stop you by design."

"Open this bag, and you'll never make it home."

"Don't you know that danger is my friend?"

"My whole life I've trained for this."

"I have to get home!"

"I plan to put an end to all of the foolishness."

Charybdis

"I'd like to hurry up and end this."

"So, if you don't have much to say..."

"I'm not dying here!"

"I'm still fighting here!"

"I'm holding on 'till I see this through and I've beaten you."

"I already know your tactics."

"I don't even have to kill you, I just have to avoid you!"

"See, if you don't spit it out soon, all that water will destroy you!"

"I'm holding on 'till you're out of breath."

"There! I see it! The island I've been searching for!"

"My wife and son are past these shores."

"My love, don't be scared."

"I am on my way, I'll be there today!"

Get in the Water

"There you are... coward."

"I've been waiting for this moment... for the perfect time to strike."

"I've got a reputation!"

"I've got a name to uphold!"

"I can't go letting you walk or else the world forgets I'm cold."

"Now, get in the water."

"Don't mistake my threats for bluffs!"

"You have lived more than enough!"

"I'll take your son and gouge his eyes! That is, unless you choose to die."

"Aren't you tired, Poseidon?"

"It's been ten years, how long can this go?"

"We're both hurting from losses."

"Why not leave this here and just go home?"

"Maybe you could learn to forgive!"

Six Hundred Strike

"I don't think you seem to get it. I can't afford to die!"

"I will get back to my son, and I will get back to my wife!"

"You idiot. Can't you see?"

"You sealed your fate just to beat me."

"You released my storm when you opened that bag."

"You blocked your one way home!"

"Now you'll never get back."

"You're going to call off that storm."

"Or what? You can't kill me!"

"How does it feel to be helpless?"

"How does it feel to know pain?"

"I watched my friends die in horror."

"I heard their final moments!"

"Look what you've turned me into!”

“Look what we've become!"

"All of the pain that I've been through… haven't I suffered enough?"

"You didn't stop when I begged you!"

“You told m to close my heart!”

"You said the world was dark!"

"Didn't you say that ruthlessness is mercy upon ourselves?"

“Alright! Please…”

"After everything you've done, how will you sleep at night?"

[zippidi-dooda]

I am loving this event way more than I thought I would (haven't fully gone through it yet)

But I was not expecting Vil to go ham on insults

And this was just from what I played through today

Glad I'm not actually there cause I'd be in the background like "OOOOHHH! DAMN VIL, YOU TELL 'IM!!!" And Leona would hate me

Also love how we get the representation of someone who hates kids, I feel like there are few to no shows that demonstrate it

Cheka is cute and I love him, but I can understand Leona

To be honest, Leona has never really been on my roster, I am more of a Malleus/Deuce/Rollo type of gal

Leona just seems like someone more fun to bugger with

But this ...

This reveal???

Jaw dropping, king of the jungle for real, hubba hubba, hot dayum--Malleus forgive me

Another moment that I am glad I wasn't there for cause I was all over the other three's "take off the overcoat" reveal and would've been fan-girling over them, whooping and gassin' 'em up,

But the difference in how my reaction to seeing them compared to Leona would've been obvious

His aura was just so different and he doesn't show off his strength, he prefers brain over brawn, but now he was so smug about it

Like, yes, that's what I live for

Not to mention that I personally love the idea of "flirt fighting" which entails actually sparring. Wanting to better defend and strengthen yourself is the main motivator, but tension is a great plus.

And that's essentially everything he's doing here???

Get me in the ring with him, I will lose but I will enjoy every second of it

And then, when all's said and done,

He takes the time to actually voice his evaluation and assessment of everyone in a straightforward and nice way

I feel like I got to see a side of Leona I hadn't before and I'm really liking it

I remember reading a post about how Leona doesn't really resemble Scar who he's twisted from during the Book of Savanaclaw, where there was some good points made (namely, he kinda sat back while Ruggie did most of the dirty-work, it was on Leona's behalf but we didn't see much of him stringing Ruggie around).

But in this event we really get to see the "Scar Side" of Leona. His wit, his cunning and the issues that motivate Leona; he wants change for the better of his pride and knows how to get there quick, but others won't listen cause they have other values they'd like to keep in tact and it irritates him that they're putting the things that are (in his mind) more insignificant, first.

And I think introducing that part of Leona in this event instead of in Book of Savanaclaw works amazingly well because Leona is a prince, he is at NRC to learn yes but stays there (probably also gets held back on purpose so he'll have an excuse to stay away from home) to forget about his frustrations with his homeland. So, I think he wouldn't have much incentive to want to fix as much in his dorm or the school since his problems mainly lie back in his Kingdom.

Anyway, this is plenty fuel for happiness and story ideas and that's about all I have to share right now

(Also, the bow Grim is wearing is most similar to Leona's garb and since we are "a package deal" I'm assuming we're both wearing similar prints. So, we may be matching spectacularly with Leona. Dunno about you, but I'd gladly follow along as if I'm his trophy wife-- again, I'm sorry, Malleus don't come for me-- and also this is just more story fuel ...)

"Leona x reader x Malleus"

The story goes through the whole Cloud Calling event, with Y/N learning there's so much more to the lazy beastman than thought originally. But, when Lilia shows off the group's trip photos, Malleus is enraged to see you leaning happily against Leona in what are practically couples' clothes, the smug smirk the lion is sporting seems to be targeted specifically at the fae. What will happen when you return to NRC from your trip? Find out in the next episode

[rosemarybunnie]

AHHHH sorry ive been so busy! Just got to see my mom for the first time in half a year and christmas had me running around like a chicken without a head 😭😭 heres the Savanaclaw boys Genshin edition!

Leona just might be the laziest yet the most cunning member of the Children of Echoes! Hardly a time the other members of the tribe dont see him lounging about on the surface, soaking in the sun! Yet he somehow always stays on point with his work and skills.

I thought Geo suited him perfectly and was the closest reference to his unique magic as a vision! And Polearm because its similar to the main choice of weapon in the Sunset Savannah ! I dont imagine hes related to the chief or anything but perhaps his family is a long line of warriors who have held ancient names of especially famous fighters but Leona perhaps didnt get one? So hes ostracized from his family despite his hard work and dedication growing up. I like to think he actually gives Kachina tips on her training, part of him is jealous that she has an ancient name yet is so meek but he sees how people treat her regardless and grows a soft spot for her!

Also totally hangs out with Xilonen, its the law now, they have to be besties. I wrote somewhere (where ever those notes are please return to me 😭😭) that if Mualani thinks hes being too rough and mean eith Kachina that she'll dump water on him- good luck Leona!

RUGGIE

GUYS I CANT WAAAIIITTT TO DRAW HIS DESIGN. Somehow the one I'm most excited for (aside from Vil's 👀) he just looks so cute 😭🥰

Ruggie i made a member of the Scions of the Canopy! It feels pretty fitting in my opinion? Theyre all about thrills and action over there, Id imagine Ruggies slick nature and jack of all trades talent would be perfect for them!

Hes pretty easy going but that doesnt mean he wont try to swindle a traveller or two for some money or food while they travel to the city- ah but leave it to Kinich! He'll make sure to set him straight whether he likes it or not. Those two grew up together after all! Now i wasnt sure why, but Pyro sword felt perfect for him! Does he have an ancient name? I havent decided yet, if he does itd make for an interesting dynamic between him and Leona? 🤔 If he didnt then theyd both be two pouty babies about it XD

Regardless I love him so much-

Lastly, Jack! Who if you mightve noticed ISNT from Natlan! Instead I chose to reference his childhood home (didnt do that for everyone ofc- but its fine-) and I made him from Snezchnaya instead!

Oh and yes, he is a fatui member! He resides under Capitanos command though which is how he finds himself in Natlan for the mean time! The Captain's Blood Hound is what they call him amongst the troops. Fiercely loyal and strong to boot! No matter what Capitano chooses to do with his mission, if he sticks to the Tsaritsa or trades sides for his homeland, Jack will follow him without a moments hesitation. Definitely a soldier the others look up to! Some say theyve seen him spar almost on the same level as a certain Harbinger near the same age as him! Or that he is long time friends with the late La Signora's right hand, Vil (*wink wink* just a small sneak there for you guys to look forward to-)

Safe to say he quickly becomes a legend among the regular fatui soldiers. Same as Ruggie, I went with a vibe and his vibe said Cryo Claymore! Claymore for such an obvious reason- cryo itself tends to be in relation to family and loyalty (if you squint-) so it clicked in my brain, it could add to possible backstory you might hear whenever i get to his final copy!

Let me know what you guys think! Im sorry ive been gone so long 😭 ill try to post the next doodle set in the next few days to make up for it! And currently as final copies go, theyre gonna take much longer to do since theyre my complete artstyle and ive also decided i hate myself enough to attempt designing personal weapons as well! Currently ive completed Ace and Deuce is 70% finished, i just have to finish coloring him. It will only be flats color, rendering would take even longer- but this way if there are any other artists who wanna do fanart they could color drop the flat colors perfectly! (Or wing it, i dont mind either way-) As soon as the doodles are all posted ill start bringing in the final versions for you guys!

[p0patochisps]

What IS Epic The Musical

I WAS WAITING FOR THIS GOD DAMN MOMENT.

OKAY. BUCKLE YOUR SEATBELT ANON, BECAUSE YOU JUST UNLEASHED MY ADVERTISEMENT SIDE /HJ

According to the EPIC website, EPIC is a loose musical adaptation of Homer's Odyssey written by Jorge 'Jay' Rivera-Herrans. Jay also voices Odysseus, the main character of the musical.

It is completely sung through, consisting of 40 songs. The musical has two acts, which are then split into nine 'sagas'. There are five sagas in act one (Troy, Cyclops, Ocean, Circe and Underworld) and four in act two (Thunder, Wisdom, Vengeance, and Ithica).

As the show is still a work in progress, the songs are still being released on platforms in their entirety. As of right now, the Troy, Cyclops, and Ocean sagas have been released with the Circe saga coming sometime soon.

Jay posts consistently on platforms such as TikTok and YouTube, showing his working progress with little sneak peaks at the songs and little bits of information about each of them that really enhance the listening experience!

Plot wise, like I said, EPIC is loosely based on Homer's Odyssey. Homer was an ancient Greek poet, and he is credited for both the Odyssey and the Iliad.

The iliad is the first of the two, telling the story of the Trojan War and all that happened. The Odyssey is about the journey Odysseus and the six hundred Ithican soldiers took to return to their homeland post-war (Spoiler alert. It doesn't work out very well)

EPIC follows Odysseus as he tries so very, very hard to return to his wife, Penelope, and his son, Telemachus. However, every monster, God, and Goddess in the entirety of Greece and Olympus seems to have beef with this man and he struggles to get home.

He's somehow meant to be one of the most intelligent Greeks out there, cunning and clever and a brilliant soldier (so much so that Athena- Goddess of W i s d o m- decides to be his mentor) and yet he has a knack of pissing everyone off.

Anyway, the Trojan War took him away from Ithica and his family for ten years, and then EPIC follows his stupidly long and complicated journey home in the most stunning, heart-wrenching, tear jerking, awe inspiring way it can.

It's greek mythology, what isn't there to love about it.

I doooo heavily recommend it. So, so very much. So much. Jay is so very, very talented, and all of the singers in EPIC are so very talented. I think the songs are on most platforms (I'll link spotify and YouTube below). I also recommend looking at his TikTok or YouTube pages because this man is hilarious, and the process to the creation of this musical is so very interesting.

Okay bye bye :))

https://youtube.com/playlist?list=PLqxvpcFchZLtYj30bSGmm64JibFLaWOAJ&si=fRBt3GoRCwew5_Sd

^this has all thirteen released songs on for YouTube.

https://youtube.com/@JayHerrans?si=7qR098QuuulGBxYg

^This is Jay's YouTube page.

https://open.spotify.com/playlist/6T7xIAK4W0Fwxp04fSjpE9?si=iccq-vm-SD-i5X0TcXMTBw&pi=e-RZKH3MfvTXmQ

^This is a playlist of released songs on Spotify.

https://www.tiktok.com/@jorgeherrans?_t=8j0ebB8Ka7V&_r=1

^This is Jay's TikTok.

He is also on iTunes but I don't have an account and I can't be bothered to make one (sorry)

IF YOU LISTEN, DROP ME A MESSAGE OR A COMMENT BECAUSE I LIKE TO TALK ABOUT IT.

[dozing-marshmallow]

CHRISTMAS WITH TOTAL DRAMA CHARACTERS(CHRIS, DUNCAN, HEATHER) SCENARIOS

Merry Christmas everyone! So sorry I couldn’t post something Christmas themed sooner, I hope everyone’s been having a wonderful day with family and friends whether you celebrate or not!🎄❤️

CHRIS

Despite the Christmas events he hosted for many networks, Chris didn’t feel he was really celebrating it until he went over to Newfoundland.

Before dinner, you joined him on this tradition that his homeland calls “Mummering” where it was basically Guess Who and Trick or Treat combined.

Needless to say, every neighbour you visited guessed who he was correctly.

He was reluctant to complete the family secret Santa. Originally, you sucked your teeth, thinking he was just being arrogant. However, from that event, you got an insight on the nature of a lot of his relatives- opportunistic.

“Could you lend me a few thousand dollars? What’s a guy like you to lose?", "Could you be the best nephew in the world and pay for the wedding of my best friend’s daughter?", "Could you help me pay off my mortgage?"

No wonder why your husband was barely enjoying himself at the dinner table! These people didn’t see him as a human; they saw him as a big shot wallet.

“Tell me, Chris... Is this how every Christmas goes for you?” you asked when it was just you and him, sitting next to him on the guest bed.

He was as sombre as ever. Sombre!,“Yeah. Told you the rest of the family weren’t important. I only bother to put up with them for my mom. I wish they all drop dead soon though.”

Not on Christmas Day... You couldn’t end the evening like this,“Okay... Is there anything you want to do together to cheer you up before we go to bed?”

“Hm...” the exhaustion shifts in his eyes as he smugly commands,“Tell me how good I look.”

You sigh in annoyance. That, you could do any day,“Really, Chris?”

“Fiiiiiine.” his moping tone of voice settled back,“I suppose raiding the leftover desserts wouldn’t hurt.”

“That...” is an oddly simple request coming from him,“Yet you’re implying you never did it?”

His attention is caught by the room’s door,“I didn’t have anyone I wanted to do it with.”

And unlike the fall of snow, his festive misery had vanished all at once.

“ᴬˡˡ ᴵ ʷᵃⁿᵗ ᶠᵒʳ ᶜʰʳⁱˢᵗᵐᵃˢ ⁱˢ ʸᵒᵘ!”

DUNCAN

Duncan’s dad was very pushy about Church this time around.

And he always found in his best interest to not go anyway.

This time though, you were there with him. So he decided, he’ll go this year.

He was also forced to join the local youth choir that would sing on the streets to raise money for those in need.

As long as he got to wear a mask...

“Not happening.” his dad sneered.

Okay, it wasn’t actually as bad as he thought it’d go.

Though he didn’t want to give his dad that satisfaction so he played sour about coming home. His main motivation was to steal some plates worth of food, give his mother her Christmas present and stuff the stockings of his cousins with bars of coal.

If anyone asks, you didn’t see anything.

His mom knitted him a Christmas sweater in return so obviously he wore it.

He visited his friends back in juvie with you.

It was quite heartwarming, seeing these teens who had done wrong in the past still have tenderness to friends and family, making you wish them a good future post leaving prison.

Besides, if they were Duncan’s friends, they had to have some morals.

Walking back, it was clear that he had room left for mischief and wanted to fill that space by stalling so you would be in front of him and turn around in confusion to not be met with Duncan, but his snowball.

“Hahaha! Nice makeup!”

You brush the snow off your face and feel your own devil inspire.

Let’s give him a taste of his own medicine.

You bent down and rolled up a snowball. Let the fight begin!

“ ᴼ ᶜᵒᵐᵉ, ᵃˡˡ ʸᵉ ᶠᵃⁱᵗʰᶠᵘˡ, ʲᵒʸᶠᵘˡ ᵃⁿᵈ ᵗʳⁱᵘᵐᵖʰᵃⁿᵗ!”

HEATHER

She scrunches her nose at the arrival of Christmas, that season that’s “nothing but noise and shallow junk.”

"I got you a present." you held it out for her.

“Buying my favour when it’s not my birthday, huh?” she looked inside the bag with no anticipation until she saw designer clothes neatly folded. She raised a smile and an eyebrow as she glanced back at you,“Okay, I guess it’s not that bad.”

Seeing her house made you wonder why she auditioned to come on the show.

To her displeasure, you were having fun cutting snowflakes, painting ornaments and decorating gingerbread men with her younger brothers and sisters.

Even more so when you helped her parents prepare the meal.

“We could never dream of Heather helping us out in the kitchen!” her mother claimed, wearing gloves over her manicured hands and a long apron over her expensive attire,“This is a nice change!”

“For sure! (Y/N) should come every year! Maybe our Heather Feather could learn a thing or two from you!” her father would then add on, with a hopeful smile.

With that, she dragged you out of the kitchen by the ear lobe.

“Let’s get out of here. I want something to drink.” she demanded, all ready in her outside winter gear.

Why come home if you’re not going to enjoy yourself?

You’re about to pay for the cozy drinks, but Heather interrupts you.

“I’ll do it.”

After an opening sip and staring at all this pure white showering from the sky, you smirk at Total Drama’s first villain,“So she does have a giving heart!”

Her answer was as cold, but her face was soft,“Don’t make me spill this on you.” the steam from her cup should be the only thing your eyes made contact with,“I just felt nice today. Don’t get used to it.”

“I won’t, I won’t.”

Something about that clarification made her tighten her grip on her cup for a small moment.

Seems like she wanted to give home a chance to fix her a reason for being...this. Generous.

A reason to like Christmas.

However, being with you, peacefully drinking with her, not disgusted or intimidated, was a reason on its own.

“ᵀʰⁱˢ ʸᵉᵃʳ, ᵗᵒ ˢᵃᵛᵉ ᵐᵉ ᶠʳᵒᵐ ᵗᵉᵃʳˢ, ᴵ’ˡˡ ᵍⁱᵛᵉ ⁱᵗ ᵗᵒ ˢᵒᵐᵉᵒⁿᵉ ˢᵖᵉᶜⁱᵃˡ,”

[cloudedgalaxies]

can you tell us about your yuu?

I absolutely can! I was meaning to post something about her sometime because I've mentioned a couple of things about her in all of my fics so far. I have a big project I've been meaning to share as well and needed to compile everything too, so this is perfect! Thanks so much for asking about her <3

For the sake of not accidentally infodumping too much, I'll try to just go over general stuff for now, but if there's anything you want me to elaborate on, let me know!

Name: Yuu Anatole

Birthday: July 7 (Cancer)

Height: 167 cm

Dominant Hand: Right

Homeland: ???

Club: Gastronomy Club

Best Subject: Enigmics

Hobbies: Photography

Pet Peeves: Doing Crowley’s work

Favorite Food: Bubble tea

Least Favorite Food: Canned tuna

Talent: Helping others/“Beast taming”

Yuu is female and uses she/they pronouns, although the majority of NRC is unaware of this and believe that she's another guy. Crowley, in his bountiful kindness, has given her a rather baggy uniform to wear he was just lazy and didn't want to get one in her actual size, as well as a potion she's to drink every night to help disguise Yuu even further. Throughout the course of the canon story, the main boys end up learning about her secret, and they are all aware by the end of Book 6.

Back in her world, she lives with her mother and her older twin brother. Yuu isn't all that clear about why she was brought to NRC instead of him, on top of the already confusing facts that she's not from Twisted Wonderland and doesn't have magic.

Unfortunately, I am not an artist, so I can't give a visual reference of her, sorry TwT. I can give a general description though! Because she's from Ramshackle, Yuu's school uniform doesn't have a vest, and carries the ghost camera around with her everywhere. Yuu has dark brown hair a little shorter than Leona's in a hairdo sorta like this, and her eyes are the same blue color as the ghosts' are from Ramshackle. She also wears glasses! I like to imagine they look pretty similar to the ones Azul has during GloMas.

As Yuu and her friends continue to face off against dangerous and deadly overblots, Yuu inevitably gets wounded. These scars, unlike others she has gotten from scuffles with and without magic, do not seem to fade (spoilers for overblots below):

Prologue/Dwarf Phantom: a diagonal cut on the front of her left leg, extending from her mid-thigh to mid-calf

Book 1/Riddle: a thorn imprint scar on her right wrist, which spirals up around her arm until the elbow

Book 2/Leona: four claw marks on the right side of her head that spans to her ear. There are little notches and cuts on her ear in the scar’s path

Book 3/Azul: three evenly spaced circles centered on her collarbone

Book 4/Jamil: a snake bite on her forehead, slightly above her left eyebrow

Book 5/Vil: a poison burn resembling a poisoned apple on the right corner of her mouth

Book 6/Idia: a burn vaguely in the shape of a daffodil between her shoulder blades, where the cords from Phantom Ortho connected to Idia during his overblot

Book 7/Malleus: lightning scars that go down the nape of her neck and over her shoulder blades that almost look like thorns, where wings would have been should she have had them

Grim (during that night after the VDC): a gash from three claws on her stomach, just about on her belly button

[amarimeta]

The Television Academy watching Carrie Coon deliver one of the greatest performances of the decade: No

The Television Academy watching Carrie Coon act cunty in a soap opera: Yes

no because literally WHAT GOES ON.

gilded age mutuals look away if you must but COME ON. LETS BE SERIOUS. i looooooove gilded age i love nothing television i love this stupid soapy show about my beautiful princess with a disorder and the entire town who hates her. HOWEVER. you (the academy) need to look me in the EYE and tell me carrie’s performance as bertha russell is the best she’s ever done. WHAT ARE YOU SAYING. i LOVE bertha. but she is NOT the crazy girl of all time. she is NOT the bravest girl on earth. she is NOT nora durst.

“ace you have to think about the strength of schedule” THE LEFTOVERS WAS ONLY EVER NOMINATED FOR ONE EMMY. AND IT WAS FOR ANN DOWD GUEST ACTRESS IN THE MOST POWERFUL MAN IN THE WORLD (and his identical twin brother). LIKE THATS A WHOLE OTHER CAN OF WORMS. the show was never nominated. the writing was never nominated. the directing was never nominated. i have no love for the man but justin theroux was never nominated?? CARRIE?!?! WAS ?!?! NEVER ?!?!? NOMINATED ??!?!,!?!?! after the performance of HER lifetime, MY lifetime, every single person who ever has or ever will live’s lifetime???

do not click the read more unless you want me to complain about strength of schedule for each season. i get very specific i’m sorry.

SEASON 1 - 67th primetime emmy awards

BEST DRAMA

game of thrones season 5 (WINNER)

better call saul season 1

downton abbey season 5

homeland season 4

house of cards season 3

mad men season 7 part 2

orange is the new black season 2

haven’t watched house of cards or homeland (to be fair i DID watch homeland s5 for miranda otto like five years ago), haven’t watched oitnb in YEARS, haven’t gotten to mad men season 7 OR downton season 5 yet. HOWEVER. i do not care. take downton s5 off from there. mind u i bought the downton collectors boxset two weeks ago i have all the dvds i have a stupid ass bell TAKE IT OFF AND PUT THE LEFTOVERS ON THERE!!!! or take homeland season 4 off idc what happened on it but why is tracy letts a main character on a show nominated YOUR WIFE IS BEING ROBBED TRACY!!! DEFEND HER!!! wait i just realized i hadn’t even mentioned game of thrones season 5 being the winner. i can’t say anything at this point i just have to laugh.

lead actor jon hamm won for mad men again idk what happens in s7 i haven’t even finished season 1. as a newsroom and better call saul enjoyer i will not advocate for either of them to be removed so get rid of kevin spacey and put theroux up there. would carrie have been nominated as lead for s1? i think she’d be supporting no? in which case take emilia clarke off for game of thrones I’M SORRY I’M NOT HATING BUT WE NEED TO BE REALISTIC HERE. IT IS SEASON 5 GAME OF THRONES. YOU ARE NOT OUTDOING NORA DURST. supporting actor christopher get your ass up there!! jonathan banks get your ass down here. i will sound like a jonathan banks hater in the rest of this post and i’m not we just need to be serious here as a collective. mike ehrmantraut could never do the leftovers. sorry. (jim carter nom for carson on downton is actually for me personally which i think is beautiful).

mother’s mercy winning for best directing AND best writing is insane. game of thrones we will never forgive you for many things. (unrelated how did bcs five-o get a best writing nom and not any other episode of season 1. mike lovers have too much power in our society. we need to kill them.)

SEASON 2 AKA THE STRONGEST SEASON OF TELEVISION YOU CAN EVER WATCH IN YOUR LIFE - 68th primetime emmy awards

BEST DRAMA

game of thrones season 6 (winner)

the americans season 4

better call saul season 2

downton abbey season 6

homeland season 5

house of cards season 4

mr. robot season 1

AGAIN. GAME OF THRONES WINNING BEST DRAMA LIKE YOU ARE NOOOOT SERIOUS PEOPLE. YOU ARE JOKING. americans and bcs <33 downton season 6 i’ve heard awful things about you. homeland season 5 HEY that’s the season i watched!! yea get rid of game of thrones and put the leftovers in there and MAKE THE LEFTOVERS WIN. IMMEDIATELY.

lead actor idk get rid of kevin spacey again. lead actress tatiana maslany i know you were working overtime im so sorry unfortunately i’m taking this away from you. please understand i’ll give it back to you for a different year but this one is carrie’s. btw im replacing claire danes on homeland in terms of nominations. supporting actress i cannot believe i am taking this away from maggie smith but we are giving this to either ann dowd, regina king, or amy brenneman. MIND YOU REGINA KING WON FOR SUPPORTING IN A LIMITED SERIES SO I THINK WE SHOULD GIVE HER THE DOUBLE WHAMMY but if you want to argue its ann dowd i will not fight you. also get maura tierney off of that nominations list NOT HATING ON MAURA simply hating on the affair. we need to be serious. supporting actor i’m taking down jonathan banks and kit harrington sorry putting up christopher eccelston and kevin carroll. i’ll let the academy decide who wins but it IS between them two. no one else. sorry.

battle of the bastards winning both writing and directing again hey guys not sure if i’ve mentioned this before but i hate game of thrones the television show that cannot hurt me and isn’t real!!! and also THAT SEASON WAS NOT GOOD. directing wise we’re getting rid of the door for game of thrones and writing wise we’re getting rid of battle of the bastards CONGRATULATIONS THE LEFTOVERS SEASON TWO EPISODE EIGHT INTERNATIONAL ASSASSIN YOU ARE THE GRAND PRIZE WINNER!!! THE BEST EPISODE OF TELEVISION EVER!!!! YOU DID IT!!! YOU HAVE NOW WON BEST DIRECTING AND BEST WRITING YIPPEE!!!!

SEASON 3 (my beloved) - 69th primetime emmy awards

BEST DRAMA

the handmaid’s tale season 1 (winner)

better call saul season 3

the crown season 1

house of cards season 5

stranger things season 1

this is us season 1

westward season 1

sorry handmaid’s tale you are not keeping the win. you can keep the nom i guess. get rid of stranger things for me. anyways the leftovers season three you ARE THE FATHER!!! (but also hiii better call saul season 3)

lead actor i like sterling k brown so he’s keeping the win but once again goodbye spacey and theroux enjoy your nomination. lead actress elisabeth not only are you not getting the win i might take the nomination from you too. sorry. carrie coon needs it more. we need to be on the right side of history. supporting actress ann dowd won which i can’t BE TOO UPSET ABOUT but im taking millie bobby brown’s nomination away and giving it to amy brenneman like i’m sorry but we need to be serious here. supporting actor i’m taking jonathan banks and mandy patinkin down and putting up christopher eccelston and kevin carroll. OBVIOUSLY.

AND OF COURSE ANN DOWD IS WINNING FOR BEST GUEST ACTRESS LIKE. alexis bledel sweetie i’m sorry but that award is not yours. but please take a picture with alison wright for me i would enjoy that.

best directing went to handmaid’s tale offred. i’m sure it was a good ep. anyways taking that down and taking stranger things ep 1 down and putting both most powerful man in the world and book of nora. book of nora is winning probably. (also taking down bcs witness and putting up chicanary. like come on here folks). best writing ALSO went to offred yea sorry. it can stay up i guess i’m just taking down stranger things ep 1 and putting up book of nora which will be winning. (notice how chicanery was properly nominated here).

well that’s all from me!!! so happy that everything i just wrote actually happened!! i can’t believe the leftovers won so many emmys BUT IT WAS WELL DESERVED!!

[ficyorick]

"the original ending to the ch3 looked like this. before the very painstaking edit process the whole HL-on-Butchers-lap scene was WAY more... you know. more handsy. i decided to downplay it considerably bc I felt i was jumping the gun too early and im glad i did, i prefer butcher more tortured about the whole thing"

Would you ever consider posting this version on your tumblr? It seems interesting though i agree it would probably be too early

hi anon! i wish i could but unfortunately this wasn't the case of me just cutting out a bit and moving it to "deleted scenes" folder, this was a thorough re-edit, meaning i had to change multiple parts, multiple sentences or just a few words there and there... basically a lot of small changes that aren't as easy to save as a whole scene getting cut . the best i can do is post some excerpts that are from the pre-final edit version of the chapter which is after some editing already :( sorry if there's errors or even editing comments from me to me HEHE i tried to remove all of them

Butcher put out another cigarette in his old drink and patted Homelander’s knee then his own. 

"C’mere." 

"No." A whine. 

"Come sit on my lap." 

"Sssicko." 

Butcher grabbed his arm and pulled him with force. Another hand on his hip, the cheap costume rustled underneath his grip. Homelander made another undignified noise but he was so pliable, it felt like moving a big pillow on top of him. He was straddling his thighs, hands hanging loose from his sides, far away from Butcher. His eyes were closed as if he couldn’t stand to look at what was happening now.

"You’re ssso sick." Homelander protested but he could only sway back and forth.

"What did you say to her?" Butcher asked, looking up into his face. His heart was beating fast now. The main event. 

"Who…" 

"Becca."

"Oh Jesus…" Not this again, said Homelander’s tone. He took a deep breath. "Just do it…" 

"Do what." 

"I dunno, whatever it is you’re going to…." The colorful mess in his lap was slightly swaying back and forth, unable to find balance. Then all of a sudden, he tried to get away but Butcher grabbed him by his hip again, forcing him down. A little gasp: "You’re sick. Sssick." 

"Are you scared?" Butcher asked through his clenched teeth. 

Homelander shook his head but something wet clung to his lashes anyway. 

"I’m not gonna hurt ya." Butcher’s hands moved from the hips to his thighs. A strangled keen from Homelander. "I just want you to feel what she felt." 

He shifted his palms further in, moving to the inner side of the splayed, costumed thighs. Homelander tensed up, as much as he could while pumped full of booze. Only one of his eyes was open, peeking at him underneath clumped lashes. He was breathing fast. Butcher huffed out a hot breath of his own that couldn't stay in his lungs anymore. Homelander flinched as if the sound itself was enough to send him into a panic. The palms on his thighs moved up and down, going deeper, further up, with each shifting movement. Butcher absent-mindedly noted that the hands pressing into the cheap fabric didn't even feel like his anymore. The swaying man on his lap was still now, leaning back unnaturally. He was still watching him with just one eye, the other one blind to everything that was happening.

"What are you thinking about?" Butcher asked, no tone, no inclination to his voice. Just a neutral command. 

"Wish I could… choke the life out of you." Homelander confessed.

Butcher kept his hands where they were, his fingertips pressed into the spot where the thighs met the pelvis. He wasn’t sure if Homelander could even feel his touch through the foamy muscle padding, but judging by how frozen he still was, he could feel it. Every second of it. 

"Okay." Butcher canted his head. "Go ahead. Give it a try."

Homelander didn’t move but Butcher heard him inhale. 

"I mean it. Do it."

Suddenly, a pair of clammy hands was closing on his throat. A familiar Homelander snarl rang out above his head. The grasp on his neck didn’t obstruct his breathing in any way, it was struggling to even fully squeeze at him. All it did was make him laugh in a slightly strained way. HLs hands cant even fully close around his throat

"C’mon, put your back into it." He groaned out.

Homelander sunk his fingertips as deep as he could, putting on claw-like pressure. That, he could almost feel. 

"There we go, good lad." Butcher grunted and smiled at him.

"Want to kill you so bad." Homelander whined out, his breathing devolving into an open-mouthed panting. "So, so, so bad." 

"You can’t. Not anymore." Billy laughed. His hands moved from Homelander’s thighs to the wrists. He could feel zip-tie scars underneath his palms and he swiped over them with pride. 

"So bad…" Homelander’s grip was waning, there was no strength left in his drunk arms. He kept slurring words out, just one eye open, his pupil completely blown out: "Kill you so fuckin’ bad… rip your head off… then crush… it."

Butcher grinned, wild-eyed. He was untouchable and the scared little cunt in his lap couldn’t even do anything to fight back.

A hiccup interrupted them and just like that Homelander's entire body wobbled and he collapsed to the side like a felled tree, letting go of Butcher’s throat. 

"Fuck…" He complained. 

Butcher shoved the limp legs off his lap and got up from the couch. Homelander’s knees were on the floor now and he stepped away from him like he was on fire. Homelander was face down on the green fabric, looking like a doll abandoned mid-play, its limbs bent at weird angles.

"You can’t do anything anymore, cunt." Butcher fumbled for his cigarettes, basically smashing one of them into his mouth and lighting it up. He had to do something with his hands, his limbs were like a live wire now. One puff, two puffs. Fuck. 

_____

there was more stuff that i removed... there was actual groping i cut out, i think the choking scene had HL moving closer to Butcher, huffing and puffing at each other and then during the bathroom moment Butcher had more sexually charged revelations about how vulnerable and utterly his HL is and how THAT was making him even more into everything that was happening but i chose to replace all of that with Guilt.

[joekessler]

The Boys sideblog for @afaintcloudyhaze so I can rant about it without spamming my main

Likely to contain NSFW content and not many tags, follow at your own risk

I need more people to talk about this show with please 😭💜

Big JDM fan, love Kessler and Kessler/Butcher

Kinda obsessed with Butcher/Homelander

Just generally really into Butcher obvs

Homelander is fascinating on his own too

Hughie I'm so sorry baby you deserve so much better than this

I like and appreciate all characters in this show in their own way tbh

Gonna be rereading the comics and posting about it - #Rouke reads the boys

Follow or interact with this post if you post a lot about The Boys and I'll check out your blog and hopefully follow!

[deliciouskeys]

@cozycornerkinktober prompt #20: Food

Spoonfed (Butchlander)

Warnings/notes: ZM-verse, post-main-fic. Rated uh... M at most. Domestic "bliss" & fucked up stockholm syndrome headspace

“Sorry. I can’t cook for shit,” Billy says. “But I’m not forcing you to eat it, am I.”

Homelander shrugs. “I like the way you cook.” He says it so matter-of-factly that Billy just stares at him.

“Come off it,” he finally says, mouth spreading in a grin.

Homelander turns his fork, trying to get more spaghetti to wrap around it. “What. What’s wrong with your cooking?”

“It’s fucking bland is what’s wrong. I swear I add spices, but it’s never enough. It’s like my English roots just prevent me from making a nice spicy Asian dish, or anything I’d actually enjoy putting in me mouth.”

Homelander chews, thinking. “Maybe I happen to like bland,” he says once he finally swallows his mouthful of spaghetti. And then he can’t believe his own shamelessness when he mumbles something else.

“Whadja just say?” 

Homelander sighs and repeats what he said, even though it was hard enough to say the first time. “I liked it when you used to feed me.” 

“You mean— spoonfed you when you couldn’t use your arms or see?”

Homelander nods and maintains eye contact despite wanting to look away with every fiber of his being.

“You fuckin’ serious?” Billy laughs and shakes his head in disbelief. 

Homelander doesn’t deign to repeat himself yet again, and turns his gaze down to his plate to pick at it with his fork. 

Billy stands up to put his own empty plate in the sink. He usually finishes faster than Homelander, because he tends to talk less. “You are serious. Damn.”

“Laugh all you want.”

“I ain’t laughing. I’m wondering how many other things have gone awry in your brain from being here.”

“Don’t flatter yourself. Not everything ‘awry’ in my brain is your doing.”

Billy sits back down at the table and raises his eyebrows, probably expecting him to elaborate, but Homelander won’t. There are limits to how much he’ll nakedly reveal about himself and his past when it comes to needs that he knows are deplorable— not just because a grown man wanting to be coddled is a perversion of the natural order everyone seems to agree on, but because he knows his problem is very deep-rooted, stretching back to his very early days in the lab, when being spoonfed and having his chin wiped by nurses all came to a stop, when Vogelbaum deemed him old enough to fend for himself, to take his meals alone in his room, no one sitting with him and smiling at him, or tousling his hair, sometimes no one even bothering to come in to serve it to him, just sliding the tray through an opening at the bottom of the door.

This sense of loss bled into the rest of his life. Homelander caught himself being jealous of lovey dovey couples who’d hand feed each other morsels of anything, and was quite obsessively taken with the tradition of a newly married couple feeding each other a slice of cake. But if he was honest, it was being fed and being helpless— without any expectations of reciprocation whatsoever— that really got him going. It formed the basis of his fantasy around Madelyn allowing him to suckle at her breast. In a twisted way he doesn’t like dwelling on, it probably makes him good at blowjobs and always eager to swallow every drop.

This captivity did nothing to diminish his oral fixation. The irregular feeding schedule Billy often subjected him to made meals that much more of an acute relief from his long stretches of lonely suffering. The occasions when he was allowed to sit at the table and be handfed instead of being served on the floor were a special kind of relief. In some sick way Homelander felt really privileged and loved, waited on hand and foot, despite being kept blind and tied up. It was one of the aspects of his ordeal that probably made him start to feel so much fondness for his imprisoner. But he can’t tell Billy any of this, not when the man’s sniggering about the honest thing he blurted out.

“How am I supposed to deliver you to Ryan, with all of these bonkers fetishes and phobias you have now?” Billy asks. 

Homelander finally feels a flareup of anger. “You went to see him just fine, despite all your fetishes. So I don’t see the problem.”

“What’re my fetishes?” Billy asks with a chuckle and Homelander wants to wipe that smug expression off his face, even though he doesn’t want to have a fight over this. He doesn’t want to have a fight over anything– he just wants to be deemed ‘normal enough’ to be allowed to see Ryan already. 

“You liked to watch me eat off the floor.”

“Well, yeah, it was quite a sight to see America’s favorite son be brought so low.”

“You know that’s not what I’m talking about,” Homelander says, sighing in exasperation. “I’m talking about the way your pulse would speed up every time I bent over and contorted myself over a bowl of whatever you gave me. I know it was part of the fun for you.”

Billy sighs, but he’s smiling. “Alright, you got me there. I won’t say I could watch you do that naked, ass up, and not feel something. But it ain’t bonkers to get a little stupid from seeing you naked.”

Homelander grins before he can catch himself. He’ll never be immune to flattery from people he admires, even when he’s irritated with them.

Billy moves his chair closer in, and drags Homelander’s plate towards himself and reaches for the fork. Homelander watches him silently, not daring to hope it means what he thinks it means.

“Alright, I’ll spoonfeed ya the rest of what you have on your plate if you really want it so much.”

Homelander can’t even answer, his mouth feeling glued together, a lump in his throat. Even he’s a little horrified by how his hands almost automatically pull back behind him, as if really trying to relive his ordeal again. At least he doesn’t feel compelled to shut his eyes.

Billy stares at him, seems to see right through him to his sick need to be serviced and just taken care of. But as naked as Homelander feels admitting to all this, being seen like this, not another word is said to belittle him. Billy gathers up some spaghetti by twirling the fork and has to scoot even closer, knees now pressing into the edge of Homelander’s chair, before bringing the fork over, his left hand hovering under it to catch any dripping sauce, all the way to his mouth. Homelander’s doesn’t anticipate the emotional little sigh of contentment that esacpes when he opens his mouth. It’s close to a moan. He wraps his lips around the tines, chews with his mouth closed. He doesn’t really care what it is or how it tastes, although the fact that Billy cooked it for the two of them makes it that much better than some sad excuse for a meal from a microwaveable tray. With his eyes open, he meets Billy’s gaze and tries to read it. Billy’s watching him with some curiosity and maybe apprehension.

“I don’t need this all the time. Ryan’s not going to see this,” Homelander suddenly finds himself saying, ostensibly to reassure Billy but maybe himself as well. “But I just want to enjoy this.”

Billy’s hazel eyes soften. He spears a meatball off the plate and feeds it to him, while his free hand strokes his cheek as he chews and even travels down to the front of his throat, so that Homelander can feel the swallow press up against Billy’s palm.

He doesn’t ask if Billy likes watching him eat. He doesn’t press about whether him asking to be taken care of stirs something in Billy, because he’s pretty sure he knows the answer. As another forkful of spaghetti approaches his lips, Homelander’s mind drifts back to that first time he was fed in the basement, the first time he gained a sense that Billy Butcher could be diverted off of his mission of trying to kill him outright. He couldn’t have guessed how long it would take to get free, but it was a relief at the time.

“You closed them.” 

Billy’s surprised tone interrupts Homelander’s thoughts, and he realizes he’s sunk so deep into the memory that he closed his eyes, and they fly open in a panic. 

“Well I didn’t mean to scare you off of it! Sorry.” Billy chuckles, even as he nudges the fork past his lips and Homelander dutifully slides the spaghetti off the fork, even though he can hear his pulse in his ears and there’s a strange agitation somewhere in the pit of his stomach.

There’s only a little bit left on the plate at this point. Another three forkfuls and it’s over.

“Thank you for indulging me,” Homelander says after the last one, even as Billy wipes his mouth off with a paper towel.

Billy doesn’t say anything. It’s as if he’s grown a little bit entranced by their strange mutual pretense too. He cups Homelander’s jaw, but doesn’t bring him closer for a kiss, only runs his thumb back and forth along his cheek. Homelander closes his eyes and sighs happily through his nose, feeling fulfilled on a level he didn’t think was possible without an orgasm. Although the craving for that was also starting to coil inside him and build up.

“Do you still wanna rail me on the floor from behind?” he asks, smiling when he hears Billy’s pulse speed up at his words.

“You don’t have to make everything tit for tat.”

Homelander looks down at the floor, smiling, faux demure. “Who said it was for you?”

[soleilceirinen]

Hi!

"Welcome to my (blog). Enter freely, go safely and leave something of the happiness you bring".

This is a sideblog dedicated to writing fics (multi fandom). My main blog is @ceirinen , we could be mutuals there <3

ABOUT ME

I'm Clau.

I can speak Spanish and English, this is my second language so that's why my fics might contain mistakes. Sorry in advance if you find any of them!

Everything I write is fiction, not based in real life. I don't intend to offend anyone or their families. I totally respect their personal life and privacy. As I said, it is fictional and sets in an alternate universe.

If a post is marked with ( * ) it means that it contains smut or mature content. Please, if you are a minor, don't interact with those ones. There's nothing I can do about it, just read something else. I'm in my 20s and all the characters in my fics are adults too, as well as fictional.

I write with a female reader in mind but I think that some of my works could be read as gender neutral.

I'm in wattpad too.

WHAT DO I WRITE ABOUT

Cillian Murphy & his characters | Jonathan Crane (Batman), Robert Fischer (Inception), Neil Lewis (Watching the Detectives), Jonathan Breech (On the Edge), Emmett (AQP2).

Peaky Blinders | Tommy Shelby, Arthur Shelby, Isaiah Jesus.

Attack on Titan | Levi Ackerman, Eren Jaeger, Erwin Smith.

EXO | Sehun, Suho, Baekhyun, Xiumin, D.O.

The Boys | Homelander.

Brad Pitt's characters | Tyler Durden (Fight Club), Cliff Booth (Once Upon a Time in Hollywood), Floyd (True Romance), David Mills (Se7en), Ladybug (Bullet Train).

Others | DPR Ian, Alain Delon.

The links to the masterlists are below. Thanks for reading. I hope you enjoy!

Cillian Murphy

Peaky Blinders

EXO

Others (multifandom)

Attack on Titan

Sometimes I make monthly rec lists for the fics I read, here are the ones I've made so far:

Dec 23 | Jan 24 | Feb 24

[alwayschasingrainbows]

Tangled Web Readalong Chapter 1.7.

another long post, so sorry about it, but I have so many thoughts about one, incredibly short paragraph...:

"Peter, being notoriously and incurably left-handed, had not been accepted for overseas service." (Tangled Web).

It appears that Peter Penhallow did not fight on the front lines of World War I. Didn't he enlist in the infantry after being rejected for overseas service? Was he unable to take part in the fight because he was left-handed? I haven't heard about such cases of exclusion from combat, but maybe one of you has such knowledge?

By the way, in this novel World War I is presented in a very negative light, which is surprising in Montgomery's novels. You can see how much her bitterness has grown over the years. In Rilla of Ingleside, the war is presented as a fight for a better world: bloody, yes, but glorious nonetheless. The soldiers returned wounded and aged, but in the glow of the glory of sacrifice for a better cause.

In Tangled Web, however, we see a completely different face of war: Naomi's husband does not recognize her and does not love her as before; Donna and Virginia lose their husbands, and their grief is shown in a mocking way; one of the men dies of pneumonia before he even has a chance to leave a training camp; the other experiences a "moment of glory", but it is described ironically and without due respect.

It seems to me that Montgomery no longer believes in fighting for a better world.

In Rilla, war is presented as consuming many lives, tragic, but in a way also... glorious and not without meaning. Pacifists are portrayed as ridiculous and harmful.

In Tangled Web, however, so far none of the main characters has commented on the war as a "great victory" or "a glorious fight for the homeland." In fact, it seems that none of the characters whose adventures we have seen so far took part in it (aside from Naomi's husband).

We know absolutely nothing about Hugh's reasons not to join (or did he?). Peter did not- although given his temperament and adventurous spirit he ought to have been the first to enlist. Left-handedness seems like Maud's hastily concocted explanation. Maybe Maud believed that war robs people of everything - including their energy and love for living on the edge? Maybe she didn't want Peter to stop being Peter?

I wonder how the war might affect the characters in other of Montgomery's books. Would Barney be able to love forests and write books about them if he had to fight for survival for four years? Would Teddy be able to paint if he had to come face to face with another man - perhaps a writer, a doctor, a father - and had to choose between his life and that man's? Or Walter, with his love of beauty - would he have been able to write poetry if he had survived?

One might say that Andrew Stuart continued to live, got married and started a family. True. But he himself claimed that the war aged him ten years. We don't know the trauma he underwent. Perhaps his too quick marriage to Robin, his inability to be a good husband to his young wife and a good father to his newborn baby was the result of war trauma? Who knows what was left of Andrew-of-the-years-before in Andrew who returned in 1918?

In her later novels, I think Maud doesn't specifically mention the war in relation to her characters (except Andrew). She even creates worlds in which there is no mention of war… Emily's Quest's ending, for example never mentions the war even though it should have happened there, especially as something about the war is mentioned in Emily Climbs: "one stormy night in a February of the olden years before the world turned upside down."

Similarly, there is no mention of the war in The Blue Castle (IWW) or Mistress Pat (IIWW) - at least as far as I remember - if I am mistaken, please correct me :).

I find it so interesting how Maud's change of heart is portrayed in her novels.