#sorry ellie you must suffer

[hypewinter]

Conner is the only stable clone of Superman. Therefore the scientists over at Cadmus decide to clone him in the hopes that they'll have most success in their cloning.

They are indeed successful.... kinda. You see while they can produce more stable clones more often, seeing as these are clones of a clone, they're not that strong. They're all basically just slightly stronger than the average human. Except one clone who shows a lot of promise. Too bad he runs away before they can start training him. (They never expected the clone to prematurely wake up in the tank and escape).

That clone ends up becoming, you guessed it, Daniel Fenton. He doesn't know he's a clone and promptly forgets about his 5 minutes trapped in a strange facility as he adopts his new identity. Life goes on, he becomes a ghost, battles other ghosts and gets cloned by the local fruitloop. Enter Ellie. She is now the clone of a clone of clone. Cloneception if you will.

The reason she's constantly destabilizing is because she's so far removed from the original that her cells are physically degraded. Think of it like cells that have been divided for way too long and have become cancerous and/or tumorous. The ectoplasm in her blood just keeps healing her body at the same rate as the degradation but it's constantly needing to be replenished. If she wants to live a truly stable life she would need to get a DNA sample from the original.

[joelsgoldrush]

swore i heard you whisper that you preferred us like that

joel miller x f!reader / 5,8k words

summary: you ask joel –the quiet, distant joel– to teach you how to ride a horse. they say the eyes are the window to the soul, and it must be true, because when he really sees you, it´s like he finally understands what you feel for him.

warnings: smut 18+ let’s pretend joel never left jackson, porn with plot, no use of y/n, age gap (reader is in her late 20s, joel is 56), grinding, oral (f receiving), fingering, masturbation, pet names, unprotected p in v (don't try this at home ok), dirty talk, soft!dom joel (sort of???), a bit of angst/feelings, joel gets all babygirl around reader, ellie appears for like a minute, mediocre attempt at recreating joel's southern accent (sorry in advance)

a/n: hello??? well this is my first fic ever so bear with me, i'm still new to all this. also english isn't my first language so i'm afraid there may be mistakes (mostly when it comes to collocations bc i hate them and they confuse me), buuuut i'm learning obviously and if you find anything that should be corrected PLEASE TELL ME thank you :) i'd appreciate if you told whether you liked this story (idk what to call it tbh) but if you don't it's more than fine! anyways thank you so much for reading if you come across this fic, i hope you like it! i've spent a week writing it bc finals season is killing me <///3

here's my masterlist in case you want to read my other works :)

"Oh, my drunken southern star / How you tried to hide in darkness / Slipped from orbit / Now you’re dangerously close / Come out, come out from all your hiding out / We’ll dig in our heels, salute the battlefields / Where our broken hearts were born."

What is it that he has?

You used to ask yourself that question every night as you went to bed. On some occasions, you couldn't manage to come up with an exact answer. There were too many reasons that disclosed why a man like him lingered on your mind, even in those moments that were supposed to be for you and only you. Sleeping more than three hours a day was definitely something you needed tremendously, but still, the not-so-rational voice inside your head kept on bringing his name up without fail, disturbing your rest.

Joel Miller. Was it possible to feel like this? Like you knew somebody without having exchanged more than five words with them? Sure, there wasn't a single person in Jackson who wasn't aware of his existence. From whispered rumors in the streets to stories that intended to give his reserved personality an explanation, Joel became a real talking-point among those in the commune. Years ago, when the world was still just a floating ball in space, he would’ve frightened you, being the kind of person your parents used to warn you about as you started to grow older.

He walked a certain way, as if he were holding the suffering of many lives in his hands. Always on guard, prepared to fight those who defied him. Hidden knives in his pockets, a gun between his fingers, the trigger too tempting to be pulled at any time given. His hair was a mixture of brown and gray, and you swore that the latter was only becoming more prominent as days went by. 

Suddenly, your pillow felt too uncomfortable, your hands fisting the fabric of your t-shirt while you kicked the blanket resting on top of your bare feet. A sigh escaped your lips, the taste of something you couldn't even distinguish on your tongue, your unsteady breath being the only sound to be heard in that noiseless night. 

You were having a hard time figuring out how you felt about Joel (if there was anything to feel in the first place, since he barely remembered your face and there you were, fantasizing about him instead of sleeping.) Maybe you liked how he presented himself, how bossy and persistent he looked the times you caught him patrolling around the zone. Or perhaps it was his character what charmed you in the first place, and the fact that, deep down, a different side from him remained completely unseen.

He was handsome, too. Tall, broad shoulders, aquiline nose. His arms looked majestic in every single piece of clothing he wore, his tanned skin shiny enough to reflect the very same sun. And his legs… you were sure they were muscular like the rest of his body, because of all the physical effort he did. You had  heard that he worked as a contractor before the pandemic, which made a lot of sense. Once or twice you had paid attention to his hands and–

Then, a familiar feeling sinked in. Warm began spreading through your belly, your thighs involuntary clenching together. “Fuck,” you muttered in a low tone, keeping your hands glued to your sides. Another motive not to think about Joel: he made you feel… things. Certain things that you hadn't felt for anyone in a very long time. You preferred to think that it was probably due to the fact that you were touch-starved, and not because you found yourself deeply attracted to him. Never had you ever been a sexually active person, so why now? Why did the mere image of Joel in your mind turn you on? 

He’s strong. I’m alone. I feel the need to find someone who’s willing to protect me. That’s it. No other reason.

Your internal monologue was lacking in arguments, but it was definitely something you could work with. As if on cue, you found it hard to keep your eyes open, your limbs not feeling as if they were yours anymore. Next thing you knew, you were asleep.

That night, you dreamt with Joel.

★ ★ ★ ★ ★

In a small cabin, you taught children how to paint and draw. Maria believed it to be helpful for their psychological development or something like that, and you had agreed to do it. A good way to spend your free time– that’s what it was. Plus, you liked children; some would even choose to include you in their drawings, and that small gesture just warmed your heart.

There, you met Ellie, a teenager whose basic vocabulary consisted mostly of profanities. 

And boy, you loved Ellie.

It was hard not to, actually. She was like a breath of fresh air, with her jokes and instant charm. You two became attached in a short time, and she reminded you of a younger version of you, just a lot braver. Although in this world it brought her benefits, you sometimes wished she wouldn’t have gone through all that shit. Those eyes, which squinted as she laughed if you tickled her sides, were the cemetery of many buried memories. You wondered how she managed to put a smile on her face despite her past and the horrible things she had seen, hoping it was genuine and not a mask.

“Look!” her voice brought you back to reality. Blinking in her direction, you realized the amount of paint you had dropped onto the floor, a red stain already forming on the carpet. “Are you okay? You seem off.”

“I’m fine! Just a bit sleepy today, that's all,” you got closer to where she was lying down, her fingers moving the brush you had gifted her in different directions. Squatting a bit, you placed a strand of hair that didn’t make it into her ponytail behind her ear. “So, what are you painting?”

She smiled warmly, and her teeth catched her lower lip momentarily. “It’s not finished, okay? Don’t freak out. I know you’re a perfectionist.”

“I’m not…” you tried to explain yourself, but ended up choosing to be defeated. “Maybe you’re right. Anyway, may I see it?”

The canvas was in your hands a few moments later. Ellie spoke beside you, her words mixing together in a sign of embarrassment. “It’s for Joel. Figured I could do something nice for him, you know? I don’t– I think I need to start over. His eyes look kind of strange, don’t they? They’re so close he looks like a cyclops.”

“Don’t say that, kiddo. This is… it’s beautiful,” your index finger traced the lines framing his jaw, the shades of his skin perfectly achieved. You held the painting even tighter, afraid of breaking it for a second. He wasn’t frowning like he normally did; Ellie had painted him smiling, and the crinkles by his eyes matched his age. Surely you must have spent more time than necessary staring at it, ‘cause then Ellie continued talking.

“Well, you know what they say: The student has become the teacher.” 

You handed the canvas to her, a smirk taking place on your face. “Yeah, I guess I’ll stop teaching you if that’s the case.”

An hour or so later, someone knocked on the door. As both of your hands were occupied (a more formal way to say that they were dirty with paint), you screamed “Come in!”, and Ellie covered her painting with an old, muddy curtain you used to clean the tables in which the children worked. You were about to ask her why she had reacted in that way, until you turned around and saw him.

Joel was there, as every other Wednesday. In your cabin, standing right in front of you. And you didn’t even look presentable. His hair looked messy, a couple of locks stuck to his forehead with sweat. “Hi,” he said shortly, meeting your gaze and attempting to shake your hand, but you avoided contact.

Showing him your hands, you held your palms in the air as an indication of the still fresh paint on your skin. “Sorry. If I were to accept the gesture, I’d leave you a stain.”

He retrieved a bit, adjusting his glove. “It’s okay. Safety first.”

That was supposed to be a joke, you noticed tardily. The silence in the room persisted until Ellie appeared from behind your back, already putting her coat on.

“You were supposed to pick me up in half an hour, asshole.”

His mouth snapped shut for an instant. “I missed you too. How was the class?” 

Ellie lifted her shoulder in a half shrug, looking in your direction and proceeding to jerk her thumb toward Joel. She didn’t want him to see the painting. “Fine as usual.”

“Can I see what you’re–”

“No fucking way!” she accentuated the word fucking, drawing him closer to the door. 

“Why not?”

“Because it’s not done.”

“But–”

“No more questions, Joel. Let’s go! Say bye!” Ellie handled him like a baby, which made you giggle.

Though you saw Joel raising his eyebrows, so you stopped laughing. 

Soon, they left and the cabin returned to its familiar quietness. A sigh erupted from your chest, and you allowed yourself to fall on top of a chair.

At least you could say you had actually talked to Joel for once.

★ ★ ★ ★ ★

It didn’t surprise you that you wanted to see him again.

Not in the “you-turn-me-on” way, but in the “you-seem-interesting-and-i-need-to-find-out-why” one.

He had something. Something so magnetic and indecipherable that kept pulling you towards him. Something that made you look for his presence in every crew, and not sensing what it was only made your wishes to dissect him grow bigger. There was a tiny probability that he was an idiot with a pretty face. Who knew? You definitely didn’t, and that needed to change. You deserved to know if pining over that man was worth it or not.

That chain of thoughts led you to look for him the next day, almost trembling with eagerness as you asked him the most stupid and unexpected question you could have imagined.

“Would you teach me how to ride a horse?”

He looked at you as if you were out of your mind, opening his mouth a few times and then closing it before he actually replied to you. “You’re tellin' me you don’t know how to ride a horse?”

“Tried it a few times, but failed and now I really want to learn to do it properly,” you swore his eyes were trying to decipher if you were saying the truth or not. “Ellie told me that you could probably make some time to teach me?”

“So Ellie's in charge of my schedule, I suppose?” you froze on the spot, and he must have noticed it because then his expression dulled. “Sorry, sweetheart. It was a joke. I've been told I'm not the best humorist.”

Sweetheart. You could’ve died a happy girl.

“Look, why don’t we meet up tomorrow after lunch? I'm sure it won’t take us much time. Not a difficult task, y’know?” he stroked his beard, apparently thinking you understood what he was talking about. 

“Sure. Thank you, Joel. My name’s–“

He didn’t let you finish. “I do know your name,” and before leaving, he repeated: “I’ll be here tomorrow. You know where to find me.”

To say that you slept without interruptions that night was an understatement. Each hour seemed to become longer the more you glimpsed your watch. Your heart drummed inside your chest violently, and you feared that someone else would be able to hear it if they got close enough to you. 

After having lunch in the same spot as every other mundane day, your legs took you to the stable. You took a shaky breath, expecting him to appear out of thin air, but fifteen minutes went by, and there was still no sign of Joel. Pressing your forehead against the wooden door, you wrapped your arms around yourself. “What was I even thinking?” 

“Hey.”

You looked to your side and– there he was, already getting inside the stable and inviting you to follow him. Joel petted one of the horses, clicking his tongue. His fingers caressed the animal’s back, and when he shot a glance at you, he didn’t ignore your disturbed expression.

“Don’t tell me you’re afraid of horses.”

“I’m not afraid of them,” you laughed awkwardly, eyeing the horse, which stared at you with those big and strange eyes. You raised your hand to mimic Joel, but that just made the animal move further away from you. “I guess it’s mutual. We don’t like each other.”

Joel smirked, guiding you outside. “It’s a damn horse. I don’t think you can tell whether he likes you or not. You gotta change that attitude of yours,” he murmured as he got on top of the horse, pinching the bridge of his nose. “Treat him well and he’ll be nice.”

At first, Joel taught you the basics: how to position yourself for balance, get your legs in the right position, hold the reins properly. A little bit of help coming from him was needed for you to mount the horse. He got down on one knee, patting it as if it were a mounting block. “Come on. Step on it.”

No need to ask me twice, you thought as you did what you were told, and once you were grabbing on those reins for dear life, you observed him with curious eyes. “Now what?”

“Now…” he pressed his hand into one of the horse’s sides, and afterwards, the horse began to fucking trot and you cried out, a high-pitched shriek slipping from your mouth. Joel laughed maliciously, almost hypnotized by the scene. “Now is when you learn how to ride a horse!”

“This isn't funny!” you screamed, the horse still very much entertained with the way you were jerking on top of him. “Stop!”

You couldn't believe how he kept… cracking up. Joel touched his stomach, shaking with laughter. “You’re a natural, can’t you see it? I’m havin' the time of my life here.”

“What I can see is that you’re an idiot! Cut the cackle and help me!”

But he didn’t move a single muscle. Instead, he remained still, that smug look never abandoning his features.

The bastard. “You’re gonna make me beg? In this situation?”

Crossing his arms while teasingly grinning at you, he added: “Wouldn’t hurt to try.”

“Joel Miller, will you help me? Pretty please?” your hair was getting in the way, and you could taste it as you insisted. “Is that enough for you?”

It was, actually. He helped you get down from the horse, his thick fingers digging into the mushy skin of your waist. It shouldn’t have felt that good, but it did. You were supposed to be angry at him for setting you up and still, by touching you for a microsecond, he had transformed you into something malleable.

Sadly, that feeling didn’t last much longer. “Didn’t know you were a man of manners. Should’ve told me beforehand.”

“Didn't know you could scream like that. I hope you didn’t freak anyone out.”

The two of you continued to practice until nightfall. A thing you also learned, apart from horse riding, was that Joel was a determined man. Everytime you tried to quit, he stopped you, making it impossible for you to rest. You stared at him, rubbing the back of your sore neck with a grimace. “I’m tired. Can we go back?”

“One more time.”

“Joel–”

“Trot a couple of meters just one more time, and that’s it for today. Can you do that for me?”

You tried not to pay too much attention to his choice of words, although it was basically non-viable. He looked sinful, and you longed to shut him up with a bruising kiss. Again, a hopeless option. Your hands itched to touch him, to feel his stubble, rough and coarse under your thumbs. How could you stay focused when the man you had been daydreaming with for the last couple of months was bossing you around? 

Despite your inability to clear your head of any of those thoughts, you managed to accomplish what he had asked you to do. “Well done,” he offered you his hand to dismount the horse and you accepted it, sighing as you stretched out your arms. “We should take him back to the stable,” Joel suggested, giving you the impression of being pleased as you told him you were coming with him.

Inside the stable, he relocated the horse into one of the many stalls. Unbelievably, the place didn’t smell like absolute shit, which was what you were expecting from a barn. “Thank you for the lesson,” you told Joel once he was done with the horse.

“Anytime,” he scratched his jaw, the dim light making his dark eyes look, if possible, even darker. “It wasn’t that bad, was it?”

“No. You were right,” your heart thrummed with every word that he blurted. His presence was addictive. You were never the one to have any bad habits, but deep down, you recognized that he easily could develop one. “I thought you were less talkative.”

“So did I,” for an instant, he pressed his lips together, forming a tight line, as if he had said something he shouldn’t have in the first place. “I think I didn’t ask you this before: but why now? I mean, why did you wait so much time to learn how to ride a horse? Everyone in Jackson seems to know how.”

You cleared your throat, his piercing eyes peering at your movements. “I guess I thought it wasn't necessary back then, before all this. It's one of those things that you don't even consider until it becomes inevitable. I used to believe I had a lot of time left when I was younger,” you had never talked about this with anyone else. There was something so intimate about this conversation, how Joel stood seemingly tongue-tied in front of you, as if he were taking notes of what you were confessing to him. “I remember being a kid and not wanting to use my toys sometimes because I kept waiting for the right moment. But then…”

“You realize there’s no such thing as the right moment,” he finished the sentence for you, and you bowed your head. “Life can end at any moment, especially in a world like ours. That’s why you always gotta do what you wish to. We never know what’ll happen tomorrow.”

“Live for today, hope for tomorrow? That’s your creed?” you tried to mock him, the tension in the stable far from evident, but he didn’t move.

“It’s the way I try to live my own life. I don’t like being left with the desire to do somethin’ I could’ve done earlier. Too old for that.”

Maybe you were gradually losing it. Perhaps just a little. It couldn’t be a coincidence, right? Had he noticed how you acted around him? Were you that obvious?

“So, you would advise me to just…”

“Do whatever you feel right, sweetheart.”

That raspy sweetheart made you give in.

His eyes. His penetrating, gleaming eyes scrutinized your face at the same time you closed the distance between your bodies. From there, you were able to see every freckle, every small detail that you hadn’t previously acknowledged. He parted his lips, as if to speak, but no words other than your name came out. One of your hands made its way up to his cheek, cupping it, feeling the warmth his skin radiated. His head immediately leaned into your touch, like a moth into a flame. 

You kissed him, unable to keep waiting. It took him what felt like ages to kiss you back, his fingers tangling in your hair. He absorbed your whimpers, pressing your back against the nearest wall. Maddening– it was the perfect word to describe how being kissed by Joel felt like. When you thought he was going to draw away from you, he just held you tighter until your lungs implored for some air. Your knees had never felt this weak, and you found yourself grabbing onto his shoulders, already feeling the places where his stubble had left its trace in flames. 

“Joel…” you mumbled against his lips, detaching your mouth from his. Your erratic breaths seemed to sync together like a melody, and you tugged at the collar of his jacket. 

He knew, could see it on your features. “Wanna go to yours?”

Joel took you home. The moment you set foot in the cabin, he closed the door behind him, his hand lingering on the handle as he contemplated you from a distance. You took your coat off first, starting to unzip your pants. There was silence long enough to hear crickets in, the moon up in the sky being the only bystander of your meeting. His eyes roamed the newly exposed skin of your legs and you observed him gulp. 

“Did something happen?” you asked him, a flush crepting up your face. Taking a step forward, one of his hands came to rest on top of yours.

“No, it’s just that– Are you sure you want this?”

Crinkling your nose, you uttered: “Why wouldn’t I?”

“I’m just too old for you,” he warned you, running a knuckle down your cheek. “You should be with guys your age, y’know? Not with an old man like me.”

“I want you,” reassuring him, you got rid of your t-shirt, and the fact he was still dressed up from neck to toes lit some kind of fire inside you. His calloused fingers fiddled with the strap of your bra until it slipped off your shoulder. “This is what I want. Please, Joel.”

It turned out that Joel Miller certainly was a man of manners.

You couldn't help but moan as he grabbed you by the waist, dragging you to the couch by the window and straddling his lap, his hard-on finding its place beneath you, pulsing and in need of more. His tongue brushed yours ever so often, and your eyes rolled to the back of your head as his teeth latched onto the skin of your throat. Joel groaned, the sound, low and primal, having its desired effect on you, your hips involuntarily grinding against his in a delicious but tormenting rhythm that already had you on the verge of tears.

“Joel, please,” you managed to plead, not knowing precisely what you were asking for. His hands cupped your ass, imprinting his fingerprints on the soft flesh, forcing your hips to go harder and harder. The harsh fabric of his pants was definitely going to leave a mark on your cheeks, and thinking that helped you realize that you were the only one –almost– naked. You reached for the buttons of his denim shirt, your lips hovering over his. “Take your clothes off?”

He did the rest himself, throwing his jacket to the floor. When he got to his jeans, he cocked his head. “Why don’t we move this to the bedroom, if you’re so goddamn needy?” The few guys you had been with had never been very talkative during sex; there was even this one specific boy who had asked you to not make a sound while he fucked you. 

But Joel wasn’t like them. It was just starting and you had already realized that he had a dirty mouth, an expectant look on his face every time he waited for your reaction to his words. “Now you’re quiet, huh? Thought you wanted me to fuck you, darlin',” one of his fingers pressed down on your clit, stimulating it through your underwear. He sighed, stopping his movements and pressing the damp pad of it against your lower lip, urging you to taste yourself. “You’re wet, baby. So fuckin’ wet. Have you been like this all day? Bet you would’ve let me take you right there in the forest.”

“Oh my God,” you whined next to his ear, your whole body trembling with desire. “Take me to bed,” you begged him, and next thing you knew, he was grabbing you as if you weighed nothing and heading towards your room. 

Not knowing how, you kept your hands to yourself until he placed you on top of the bed. Joel shoved his jeans down and you didn’t think twice– you stroked his length, the fabric of his boxers only making the slow drag of your hand more satisfying. His long fingers circled your throat, and you moaned as you kept eliciting exquisite noises from him. “Let me take care of you,” his dilated pupils carved holes in your being, his grip doing nothing to cease the ache between your legs. “Please, baby. I need to make you feel good. Been thinkin’ about this for so long.”

“What?” you slowed down your pace, looking up at him through your eyelashes. “You wanted me?”

“Why do you think I began to pick Ellie up from your classes, huh? Because I’m a good, generous man?” Joel parted your knees, getting closer to where you required him the most. “I’m sorry to ruin this, but I’m far from good. Just wanted to see you and your pretty face. Didn’t know if we were on the same page until you came lookin' for me, askin' me to teach you how to ride a damn horse,” you hadn’t noticed your bra was missing till he cupped one of your breasts, flicking your nipple between his fingers. “I’m sure there were many other people you could’ve asked to teach you, but you chose me, didn’t you?”

“Don’t want anybody else,” your lips chased his, a drop of sweat already rolling down your temple. “I didn’t– didn’t know you noticed me.”

“How could I not? If you could only look at yourself like I’m doing right now… You’re a sight, sweetheart, all spread out for me,” removing your panties, he kissed the skin where your inner thighs met, his tongue darting out to draw imaginary figures on your flesh. His mouth was just inches away from your cunt, and you had to tell him.

“Joel?”

“What’s wrong?”

“I’ve never– nobody has ever done that for me.”

He seemed to understand what you were referring to. It made you tense a bit, despite the fact that you were completely naked in front of him, basically begging him to tear you apart. Still, the realization that you weren't as expert as him hit you out of nowhere. Yeah, it was all fun and games, kissing and touching probably the hottest man you had seen in your almost three decades of life. But said man was a lot older than you, and he had lived his best years in the real world, not this fucked up version you grew up in. You were sure he had been with many different women, which wasn’t a problem– you two were nothing.

“Nobody has ever tasted ya’? That’s what you’re tryin’ to tell me?” you nodded quickly, shoving a strand of his graying hair back away from his eyes. Joel chuckled languidly, squeezing your hips. “Do you want me to? It’s okay if you don’t. We can try somethin’ else.”

“Please,” you’d have time to embarrass yourself later, thinking about the amount of times you had repeated that word. But certain moments were to be lived only once, and though you hoped it wasn't the case, you had to take the chance. “I want you to.”

Four words. It took Joel four words to disappear between your legs, licking a hot stripe up your folds. You nibbled on your bottom lip, a loud moan filling the void of your dorm. He drew sweet patterns in your cunt, discovering a part of you that no one else ever had, and you couldn’t help but to grind against his face as he dipped the tip of his tongue into your entrance. Breathing wasn’t a necessity anymore. You felt as if all the air in the world was being punched out of your lungs, the knot in your belly growing tighter the more Joel spent his precious time keeping you entertained.

At some point, he focused his attention on your clit, circling it over and over again, making you shudder. Suddenly, the pad of his middle finger tested the waters, and he slowly slid it into your cunt, earning a strangled whine from you. Burying your hands in his hair, your glossy eyes looked for him for a second. You shouldn’t have done that, because as you took in the sight of Joel with his own eyes closed, browns knitted, your nostrils flared, and you wondered if it was even possible to want somebody that much.

“Joel, wait, I’m– fuck,” your jaw went slack and you scrunched up your face, two of his thick fingers nudging that spot that made you see stars. “I’m close.” 

“That’s a good thing, sweetheart. Don’t know why you say it in such a dry tone,” his mouth curved into a smile, his chin and stubble shining with your slick. 

Your chest rose and fell with rapid breaths. “I don’t want to come yet.”

“But you will.”

A thing you also learned, apart from horse riding, was that Joel was a determined man.

“Joel–“

“I’ll make you come with my mouth, and then with my cock,” dizziness was starting to blur your vision, your eyelashes fluttering with every hard thrust of his fingers. You glanced up to the ceiling, tears filling your eyes. “Think you can do that for me, be my good girl and come twice?”

You bobbed your head. It was official: he was going to make you come.

Drawing in a long breath, you could feel the unbearable pressure in your core. His name sounded like a prayer on your lips, chanting it in the same way some people expressed their devotion to a certain God. You had your own personal deity, whose tongue accomplished to push you to the limit, licking every drop of your release as if it were a special kind of forbidden elixir.  

Your shoulders sagged and you relaxed under him. Joel kissed you, an open mouthed and filthy kiss crowning that moment as you panted. Through the cotton fabric of his boxers, you felt his hard-on poking your thigh. Shoving his underwear down, you took him in your hand, hot and just big, stroking him for real this time. You twisted your wrist at the tip, and he slumped forward, almost crushing you with his entire body weight, his breath dampening your neck. “Wanna fuck you, baby,” he croaked, his hips chasing your touch.

Out of all the scenarios you had ever imagined, none of them included being split open by Joel. You had a very vivid imagination, but no amount of creativity would’ve prepared you for what his cock would feel like inside of you. He bottomed out, his arms shaking where they rested on each side of your head. Joel’s breath quickened as he pulled out, just letting the tip, and then thrusting into you again.

“Fuck,” you didn’t recognize your own voice. It was even hard to decipher if you were still alive or dead from how magnificent he felt.

“So good, sweetheart. You’re so good, such a good girl,” he groaned, fucking deeper into you. His cock pulsed inside you, your cunt squeezing him. “Can’t believe how– how tight you are. You’re gonna make me lose my f–fucking mind.”

It was just too much. You hadn’t even recovered from your last orgasm before Joel started pounding into you like his life depended on it, the obscene sound of skin slapping skin ringing out in the room. 

“You gonna come, huh? Gonna make a mess?” you could sense he was also close, his pace faltering as seconds went by, words slurring together. He pressed his forehead against yours, clenching his fists and taking in a sharp breath. “Fuck. I’m not gonna last much longer, baby.”

Come inside, you wished to tell him, to feel his seed dripping out of your greedy hole, painting your walls. But you weren't on the pill; it was also the first time you were sleeping with Joel, and you didn’t know how he would take the… suggestion. “Close,” you yelped instead, tears shimmering in your eyes as Joel’s body hovered over you like the most perfect eclipse. 

His thrusts became more frenzied, if possible. “That’s it, darlin’. Come for me,” your gaze fixated upon him, his eyes flickering with hunger. “Wanna see you when you soak my cock.”

Your body went limp, your orgasm hitting you like a truck. Soreness took place in your throat as you moaned his name through the aftershocks, fireworks exploding behind your eyelids. Going rigid, you let go of Joel’s shoulders. He pulled out, mumbling something you didn’t quite catch. You fisted his cock, trying to give him the release he so yearned for. Joel kissed you, messy teeth and saliva taking part of it. Heavy on your hand, his dick twitched as you squeezed the base, roped of his warm cum splattering your belly. The scene reminded you of a painting; he was the talented painter, and you his blank canvas, waiting to be signed with his name.

It was the turn of silence now. None of you said anything for a while, until Joel used his boxers to clean up his cum from your stomach, smiling apologetically at you. “Sorry.”

“It’s okay,” your fingers delicately traced the contours of his chest as he reclined, enveloping you in the embrace of his strong arms. “Will you stay?”

Please say yes.

“Only if you want me to.”

Moral of the story: learning how to ride a horse can actually be nice if your teacher happens to be Joel Miller.

[kiss-me-muchoo]

𝐞𝐠𝐠𝐧𝐨𝐠 𝐚𝐧𝐝 𝐭𝐡𝐨𝐧𝐠𝐬 || 𝐉𝐨𝐞𝐥 𝐌𝐢𝐥𝐥𝐞𝐫 𝐱 𝐟𝐞𝐦!𝐫𝐞𝐚𝐝𝐞𝐫

summary_ you find a thong on Joel’s backpack and you don’t know what to think, turning things awkward just before the holidays.

warnings_corny Christmas pick up lines, AGE GAP (20s/50s) but not specified, smidge of angst (reader’s fault) , fluff, chill mom!reader, pervy hubby! Joel, Christmas shit and a silly argument. NO PROOFREAD YET SORRY

notes_ fallacy family having their first Christmas together omg, it’s almost two years since I started the series and yet here we are, brb I’ll go cry.

• Fallacy series m.list (recommended to read)

♫ ♪ Pedro playlist

✰ Index (+ fics here)

⋆꙳•❅‧*₊⋆☃︎‧*❆₊⋆ ⋆꙳•❅‧*₊⋆☃︎‧*❆₊⋆ ⋆꙳•❅‧*₊⋆☃︎‧*❆₊⋆

Celebrating the holidays in the apocalypse was not easy. In fact, the world had forgotten about holidays. For twenty years, days like Christmas or New Year’s Eve had no longer meaning.

But not in Jackson. Right after thanksgiving, the town would start preparing for the lovely event. According to Maria, children received a little present and a big dinner was made. In the previous weeks, the town dressed up with ornaments, mistletoe everywhere and the smell of ginger and mint was all around. Almost like outside the world hadn’t change. But for you and your family, that came from a lot of suffering, you would not allow them to complain.

You had picked up your decoration’s box. One was given to each house of Jackson, to add more personal decorations. However, you picked up yours a little late, since it was your first Christmas in town.

You finished teaching early, giving you time to arrive home, meet your daughter and decorate the house with Ellie.

Cerise was about to turn three months old, she was growing, getting curly hair like her father, but she remained tiny, fussy and adamant. She kept doing the famous newborn scrunch and Joel often made fun of her farts, making you roll your eyes and criticize him for making fun of his daughter.

“Ellie, you’re home?” You asked taking off your boots and coat, placing your bag in the entrance. “Yup, Maria left like ten minutes ago”

Ellie appeared carrying Cerise, who was sleeping. The teenager handed you the baby and you smiled at her.

“Thanks. Hey, I got the decoration for the house, Wanna help me?” Ellie was not excited for Christmas but you could tell she loved being around you and Cerise.

“Sure”

“But-!” Then she rolled her eyes. “You must show me your costume for the charity”

“Oh f- you, y/n” you started laughing, trying to remain calm to not disturb Cerise “I look like shit in it!”

“Please!”

It was past midday when you were done making dinner. A warm soup made the whole to smell like winter and tranquility. Cerise had taken a bath, even Ellie was already in pajamas. It was then, while cleaning the kitchen, that you found Joel’s lunchbox in the little shelves you had beside the refrigerator.

“Silly man” you mumbled to yourself, grabbing the lunchbox.

In the living room, Ellie was reading a comic while Cerise was in her little baby gym.

“I’m dropping this to Joel. Mind if you stay here with Cerise?” The girls shrugs, eyes never leaving her comic. “Yeah, go on”

“Thanks, Ellie. I’ll be quick”

…

That day, Joel was working to build a new layer for the gates that protected Jackson. The team started the new layer before summer ended, even before Cerise was born. And now, near Christmas, it was almost done.

At the sight of your old man, you smiled. He went back to his short hair, just like when you met him in Boston. His belly was gone and his back pain diminished. Joel was in his best form, shape and condition.

“Hey, Texas!” You called him, making some of his buddies to look as well.

At the sight of you, the youngest started doing silly things to make your husband uncomfortable but truth is, Joel was only smiling at the sight of you. But soon turned worried.

“Whatcha doin’ here?” he asks, taking off his thick gloves, offering you a playful smile. “Are you alright? Cerise and Ellie?”

“We’re fine, dear. You just forgot your lunch…”

You brought him a sandwich and cranberry juice, it’s was cold and since your old man couldn’t get up early because he was so warm under the blankets with you, he missed his lunch.

“I thought- never mind. Thanks, baby”

Joel sighed, relieved. He grabbed the lunchbox and looked at you so lovingly, that it made you chuckle.

“What now, Texas?” You ask rolling your eyes, crossing your arms.

“God, I just want to get home, shower a you to give me a blowjob”

“A snowjob!” He glares at you with disdain and rolls his eyes before chuckling, catching the Christmas reference.

“Good lord, shut up” he had grown used to the age gap, but sometimes he remembered how full of life you were compared to him.“C’mere, baby”

He kissed you as usual because nobody was around. He would never hide his feelings for you again, but he remained reserved and preferred to be private when it came to you. Either way, everyone in Jackson knew he married you and had a baby together.

Cerise was a famous baby after all.

“There’s soup and flourless biscuits for dinner. I’m almost done with the Christmas decorations. I’m just saving the tree because I want to do it with you” Joel smiled, something you genuinely loved.

Ever since you gave birth, Joel had changed drastically, being open towards you and very understanding. Things had never felt so good.

“I’ll be at home before the sunset” you nod at him, standing on your tip toes, which he immediately understands and leans over to give you a big kiss. You felt relived and happy. Lucky you to stick along a grumpy unstable senior that turned out the most humble and loving husband.

“Don’t be late, Texas” he rolls his eyes to then kiss you again. “I won’t, baby”

As you walk away, you hear some chattering from Joel’s workmates, probably making fun of him for being a sweetheart towards you. And you don’t miss the female laughter calling him.

There is no reason to mistrust. Joel would never. The last time you both had a similar argument was when Freya, the town’s nurse, actively tried to make some moves on your already husband.

Either way, there are some days where you feel that too much positivity has a price. Like it’s not normal for you to be completely happy and in peace. Perhaps it’s the years of suffering and misery that remain haunting you. Making you believe that Joel would one day walk out, towards complete freedom like he once wanted.

…

Well, Joel was late indeed. You got mad and you started eating with Cerise and Ellie. You placed a plate with a big portion of food for Joel and then you sent your kids to sleep. As you were cleaning the dishes, you didn’t think too much about Joel being absent. Anything could happen at work, your take was that they had finished the new layer and decided to take longer than needed just to be done.

Whatever, you kept cleaning the dishes and didn’t hear your husband was entering the warm house.

“I’m sorry I missed the dinner. We finished the layer…”

Bingo.

“That’s okay, honey” you simply say without looking at him. “I thought of it…”

“Let me eat and then we can decorate the tree” Joel says, trying to make it up for his absence, standing behind you and softly caressing your shoulders.

“Just eat, Joel. You haven’t eaten anything after I dropped your lunch…” your hands finish cleaning the dishes, you dry up and finally face your man. “You sure? I’m up for the Christmas tree…”

“No, I’m tired. Let’s go get warm in the bed…” he nods, smiling at the sight of his wonderful wife. The same woman he met years ago, yet, so different.

“Hmm, then I’m up for a holly jolly

“Yeah? stuff my stocking with your big North Pole, Joel?” he bursted in laughter, trying to be quiet but miserably failed, making you start giggling as well. “Joel, shut up!”

“Well, baby… You’re bein’ a flirt” rolling your eyes, you had to go straight to hug him.

“Get my backpack, please…” you nod at him, approaching the entrance of the house, where Joel’s backpack was discharged in the floor.

You bend over to grab it and the soft sound of a box of band-aids falling makes you sigh.

“Close the fucking backpack, Joel” you try to be quiet while he distantly says sorry. And then you spot a sparkly red ribbon tangled in a zipper. When you pull it out, you realize it’s not a ribbon.

It’s a thong. And lurking from the inside, there an egg nog powder mix.

You have so many questions. You could’ve laughed. But you didn’t. Instead, your head starts questioning why he had a thong on his backpack.

“What the fuck, Joel?” You ask when he arrives at your side. “You have a whole festive fucking pack in your backpack?”

“Darlin’, Are you bein’ serious now?” He asks tiredly, which makes you sigh. “What? Do you think this is not for you and belongs to somebody else?”

“I don’t know!” You spit out frustrated, crossing your arms and realizing you had snapped. “I’m sorry, Joel. I just don’t know how to feel about it…”

You knew it was stupid getting mad over something so silly and immature. It could’ve been a joke from a mate, perhaps Joel actually got it for you. But why slip it like that?

That night you leave your husband all alone in the darkness of the living room wondering what he did wrong.

He stares at the empty Christmas tree and sighs, rubbing his eyes.

…

The next morning, it was Christmas Eve.

Joel got up only to find out kids had school. It was a short day and basically an excuse to gather all the kids and avoid interruptions for any final details to work on. Joel did not have any problem with having Cerise the whole morning. In fact, it made him slightly forgetful about the argument with you last night.

Ellie was gone, Joel heard her cursing as she was leaving, saying how shitty she looked with her elf costume.

Cerise and Joel had a good morning together. He made breakfast for her, then he bather her to avoid getting her later with lower temperatures. Then he paid Tommy a little visit to ask for advice and finally felt confident to face you and ask questions.

He felt hurt by your reaction and was eager to understand why you took things in such way.

He pushed the stroller carrying a sleepy Cerise through the streets of Jackson. Everyone seemed ready for the holidays, happy families everywhere. It made Joel to feel a bigger urge to run towards the little school. There was no point in having a silly fight during a special night.

So when he arrived with Cerise at the school, children were walking out, everyone holding a handcrafted ornament, others had snowflakes, others tried to do paper ginger-man cookies. It made Joel to think how would Cerise be in a couple of years while attending school.

When he entered the old building, he saw that there only were four classrooms. Only one was open. And as Joel pushed the stroller through the hall, he was able to see that the open door was decorated with little stars that had the name of some students. In the center, a baby pink paper that said “Mrs. Miller” and it made Joel’s heart to melt.

Everyone knew that kids loved you. The youngest always said hi or even hugged you, asking if they could see Cerise.

When he entered the room, it was empty, only you sitting in your desk. When you looked up to see, you quickly had to stand up upon seeing your husband and baby.

“Is Cerise okay?” You ask worriedly. “She’s fine, y/n. I just needed to pass by”

You nod, already understanding what he meant. You stare at his red sweater, the color resulting foreign on him, yet, welcoming.

“It was silly and-“ you try to start saying but Joel shushes you. “I’m the one talking darlin’…”

“Earlier in the morning, Tommy and I went to the mall” you only can tap your index finger against your desk, starting to feel completely embarrassed. “We passed by the store and thought it would be silly and fun to grab a pair of festive underwear along the eggnog. I also grabbed a pacifier for Cerise….”

“Now what the fuck? I completely overreacted” you admit avoiding his gaze.

“Do you really think I could possibly cheat on you?” he asks, sounding very hurt, which made your twist in remorse. “Don’t you think we’ve suffered enough to just fuck up everything for nothing?”

Your eyes water and you have to look down, ashamed.

“God, I’m so sorry, Joel. I know it was stupid…” He sighs, crossing his arms, also looking away, to the window of the little classroom. “I normally feel so confident about us and our life here. But occasionally my mind goes back to the beginning and it terrifies me that someday you’ll get tired of everything and just be free. But alone…”

Joel eyed you as you were speaking, and it broke him. Sometimes he forgets you also went through traumatic experiences along the way. You love him unconditionally, yes. But that doesn’t mean sometimes those traumas will not try to arise. And it’s okay to have doubts, the world was broken.

But Joel would give his life to never see you broken as well.

He pulled you closer, holding you tightly. His chin finding a home at the top of your head. And it made you feel safe. Like you weren’t insane for causing nonsensical arguments.

“I’m sorry” you repeat and he shushes you softly. “Having doubts is valid. But I can promise you, my darlin’… that I would do everything again if I had know since the beginning that my reward was you. And I will never get tired of it…”

“Intrusive thoughts aside, everything is perfect. I will let you know whenever I’m feeling odd and hopefully we’ll talk” he nodded, making you feel even more safe. “Of course, baby”

“And I love you, Joel. Like you have no idea” you hear him chuckling, then kissing your hair. “Oh, I think I do. I think we both know we’re down bad for each other”

“Even Cerise knows it. She stares back and forth between us whenever we start talking and she’s fully awake” at the comment, Joel chuckled, looking aside where he left the stroller, noticing there was movement inside.

“I think she’s already doing it” you say smiling.

Joel uncovered the stroller and indeed, Cerise was fully awake, her chocolate eyes scanning the place before landing on her parents. And upon looking at you and Joel, she started cooing.

“Aww, my baby, come here” it would never be not amusing for Joel to finally seeing you as a mother. As you peppered Cerise’s face with wet kisses all over, she seemed to be laughing. The moment the three of you started sharing were foreign, a little over a year ago, everything was so different. Joel was unable to admit that he loved you, you were extremely insecure, Ellie was a stranger. You had zero hopes of a family.

The odds were in your favor. Very much.

“I think she’s growing your nose” Joel said, softly pinching one of the baby’s cheeks. Cerise was in heavy, sandwiched between the warmth of her parents, in a red onesie that had a reindeer in the center and stars in her tiny foots.

“Well I think she’s growing your hair. Messy and curly…” Joel smirked and then kissed you.

“Let’s go home. I want to try that eggnog mix even if it kills us”

“I don’t think syrups and fake powder will kill us, y/n” he took your hand and lead the way out of the school.

…

It was very cold when you got out of the shower. The smell of turkey and butter was filtering through the small gap of your open window. At the dinning hall people were slowly gathering to share a meal and celebrate the night prior to Christmas. And as per usual, you were slightly late.

You had a brown dress that you carried since Boston’s QZ. You had never worn it and you had a second pair of boots reserved for special occasions, which were waiting for you at the foot of the bed along your coat and some thick black thighs. It wasn’t elegant, just classic. An outfit that even in the apocalypse seemed decent or fair.

“Cerise is ready…” Joel says entering the room. His smile grew at the sigh of you, which made you blush and shyly look away.

“No, don’t look away, darlin’. You look like a little doll” he hurried to give you a little spin and kiss your cheeks.

“Calm down, Texas” he steadies his hands around your hips, smiling again “Now, gimme that nasty thong before I change my mind”

“What?” Joel completely forgot about the thing. But soon he went to the basket of clean clothes and handed it to you.

The asshole had washed the thong.

Under the lamp of the room, you were able to appreciate the details of the thong. It was bright red, with some lace details in the crotch, shiny beaded sequins and a fine embroidery.

You slipped into the fabric, hunching the dress around your stomach. Joel let out a little gasp after finally seeing you with the lingerie.

“Merry fucking Christmas” you had to laugh loudly after seeing him almost poking out his tongue, then, you are pulling down the dress and sitting on the bed to put on the thighs.

“That’s lewd, Joel”

“Shut up. I’m getting what I deserve after dinner”

“Your first present to unwrap” you say rolling your eyes.

It is then when you look at Ellie passing by the door and after hearing you burst out laughing, she huffed, standing on the doorway.

“Can you please stop?” The girls asks, but it’s very funny to see her with the elf costume and silly hat.

“Why I was forced to do this?”

“Because you are a pain in the ass for Tommy and Maria” she rolls her eyes.

“Okay, it’s getting late. Let’s go, everyone” Joel leads the way downstairs, where he picks up Cerise from her baby gym and wraps her in blankets before getting her into the stroller.

When he approaches you to help you put on your coat, you can’t stop smiling at the sight of him.

And he notices it, offering back another smile.

Ellie walks out with Cerise in the stroller and turns back to ask who was the keys, but rolls her eyes after seeing you two lost in each other’s eyes.

“HEY!” Both of you snap out of the moment and turn to look at Ellie. “Yeah, yeah, we all know both of you are so in love. But who has the keys?”

“Joel” you reveal, chuckling at the girl’s words and moving away.

Joel locks the door and walks out to the street. He follows closely bu he prefers to savor the moment of you and Ellie making Cerise to babble and coo from inside the stroller. With all the Christmas decoration and the snow falling, Joel wants nothing but a camera to capture the moment. But his old ass would always remember that type of moments.

__________

[cirilla-fiona-riannon]

Ellis Main Story Chapter 15

Translations may not always capture the exact nuances or tone of the original text. Expect grammatical errors and inaccuracies.

This is not a full translation.

Kate: "Ellis?"

Ellis: "Sorry."

Ellis: "You're right. I don't want you to go anywhere. I don't want to let go of your hand."

Ellis: "It's all about my feelings and my selfishness."

Even though I couldn't see anything, I could picture the expression on Ellis' face.

In my mind's eye, I pictured a face filled with uncertainty, searching for the right answer.

Kate: "You're not being selfish一"

Ellis: "But it's not enough."

Kate: "Not enough?"

Ellis: "Because otherwise, I might make you unhappy."

Ellis: "Until I can ensure your ultimate happiness forever, I must restrain my desires."

His emotions and desires were a secret.

It felt like he was firmly holding down the lid himself.

Ellis: "That's why I can't say 'I love you' right now."

(Does that mean...)

Kate: "Hey, Ellis, let go of my arm."

Ellis: "No."

He pressed my body down effortlessly.

No matter how much I struggled, there was no sign of his grip loosening.

Kate: "Ellis..."

As I tried to move, the loosely tied ribbon of my blouse slipped off my shoulder. Even so, his hand covering my eyes remained unshaken.

Ellis: "Please, don't look at me right now."

His strained voice was something I'd never heard before.

Ellis: "If you knew you were destined to despair tomorrow, would you want to make that moment last forever?"

Ellis: "Or would you rather suffer in a happiness that can never be regained, eventually going mad like Jake?"

Ellis: "Would you still want to live?"

His sudden question left me confused.

(Whatever this is, it's important to him.)

(I'm sure it's really important.)

I wanted to give a thoughtful answer, but I couldn't seem to think straight.

Kate: "I... I don't know."

Ellis: "I see. I'm sorry."

[houroftheowl]

hold your hands across my heart

(and hold me down)

joel miller x female!reader–minors do not interact

rating: explicit

summary: joel's nightmares wake you from time to time, and in these small hours of the morning, you're the only two people in this world.

content: smut, established relationship, unprotected sex, breeding kink if ya squint

Waking in the night to sounds of Joel moaning in his sleep were nothing out of the ordinary for you. While Joel had let you into his heart, you knew it was a crowded place, filled with ghosts and haunted by their painful memories.

During the daylight hours, Joel could keep it at bay, busying his mind and his body with various tasks around Jackson that need his attention. But there was no refuge when the shadows of night covered you both in their inky embrace.

There were no distractions in sleep, no chores to divert his attention. His regrets and demons held his full focus.

Most nights you could lull him back into an easy sleep by rubbing his chest, but this wasn’t one of those nights. This night, Joel’s whimpers turned to audible cries, his arms flailing as his heart raced frantically in his chest.

“Joel?” you said, your voice still thick with sleep, “Joel, wake up.”

Your eyes are blurry and unfocused as you tried to blink away the last remnants of sleep. In the low light that filled your bedroom, you could see tears beading in the corners of his eyes as he yelps like he’s fighting some invisible enemy. Timidly, you place a hand on his bare chest and find it cold and damp from sweat. His pulse races beneath your hand.

“Joel, baby, wake up,” you plead, rocking him gently.

Delicate nudges barely rouse him, his eyes blinking open for an instant before clasping shut once more. He’s screaming now, the pained cries echo off the walls and twist your gut with anxiety.

In the back of your mind, you’re thankful Ellie has been sleeping in the garage. Regardless of whether or not she and her pseudo-father are on good terms, you know she’d be frightened by the almost inhuman sounds coming from Joel.

“Please, baby,” you say, tapping your hand against his jaw, “Wake up!”

There’s no gentleness in your attempts to wake him now, your voice nearly as high as his and your hands trying desperately to pull him from sleep.

It maybe took all of thirty seconds, but by the time his eyes finally open and focus on you, it feels like hours have passed. You can tell by the confused way he’s staring at you, he’s not fully present, not fully aware his nightmare has ended.

“Darlin’?” he asks, “What… what time is it?”

“Early,” you sigh with relief, “Probably a few hours until sunrise.”

Joel sniffs, wiping away the tears that roll down his cheeks as he rises into a seated position.

“Must be three in the goddamn morning,” he groans, his voice laden with remorse. “Fuck, ’m sorry for waking you.”

A sharp pain pulses through you at his apology. Guilty even though he’s the one suffering.

“Don’t be sorry,” you say softly, “I.. you were screaming.”

He hums thoughtfully, nodding slowly as he flexes and relaxes his fingers like he’s just been in a brawl.

You don’t bother asking him what his nightmare was, you learned a long time ago he would never say. Joel is a man who keeps his demons close to his chest, as though speaking them aloud will breathe life into his deepest darkest fears.

An unsteady hand rakes down the back of your neck as you try to slow your breathing. Both of you are too alert to try to fall back asleep, not that it matters much anyways. It’s so late in the night that by the time you could fall back asleep, you’d be lucky to get another half hour of rest before it’s time to start your day.

“I never know what to do when you start crying like that,” you say, breaking the silence. “I just.. I can’t stand the sound of it, can’t stand the thought of you hurting in any way.”

Joel sighs again before gathering you in his arms and pulling you into his lap. You feel his lips against your forehead as your slide your legs to wrap around his hips. Tucking your face into his neck you breath in the smell of him. The faint scents of sandalwood and pine that linger on his collarbones calm your frazzled nerves.

The two of stay like this for a while, sitting in the stillness of the night with nothing but the sounds of your breathing to fill the room. His pulse thrums beneath his skin, still too fast for your liking.

“You don’t have to do anything darlin’,” he says after a while, “Just be with me. That’s all I need.”

You glance up at him through your lashes and find yourself mesmerized by how angelic Joel looks painted in the moonlight. Hair that was once brown, but is now over taken by dray sticks out wildly from being smushed against his pillow. His aquiline nose catches the light, painting shadows on his face. Instinctively, you run the tip of your finger along the bridge of it.

The contact makes him squeeze his eyes shut and his arms draw you closer to his broad chest. Shifting your weight, your raise yourself to press your forehead against his. His tears are have begun anew, spiling down his face as rubs his nose against yours. You raise your jaw to meet him, and Joel is quick to slot his mouth over yours. Cradling his face in your hands, your thumbs wipe away his fallen tears but they continue to flow and dampen your fingers.

Joel isn’t the type of man to say, ‘I love you’. The post-outbreak world has robbed him of that sort of softness. Instead he proves his devotion to you in other ways, and this is one of them. He is equal parts cold blooded killer and a deeply sensitive man, but the latter he only revealed to those he truly trusted.

Allowing himself to be vulnerable with you is louder than any declaration of love. Trusting you enough to keep his secrets—to see him cry—means more than any words he could say.

“Stay with me baby,” he breaths against your lips.

His kisses grow more and more heated until he’s peeling the oversized shirt from your body—one of his—and tosses it behind you. His calloused palms roam over the newly-freed skin, leaving a trail of goosebumps in their wake.

You can feel his cock stiffening through the thin cotton of your panties. Joel bucks his hips to grind against your core to elicit a gasp from you. The thin layer of fabric separating your bodies grows wetter with each cant of his hips, heightening each sensation until you’re moaning into his mouth.

Nimble fingers pluck at your nipples, and you’re moaning even louder. Joel answers each cry with a groan of his own, his cock pulsing beneath you with need. He works you up until your panties are absolutely drenched with your juices.

This isn’t the usual way Joel takes you, hurried and rough around the edges, his hunger for you so ravenous that it feels like it will consumes his entire being.

No, not tonight.

His touch is languid as his hands roam the hills and valleys of your body, as though he’s trying to commit every minute detail to memory. Every so often his fingers squeeze your plump flesh as he reminds himself that he’s awake. You and him are the only the thing that are real right now. The kisses he presses to your skin are a silent plea to stay in his arms—to stay his—for as long as this cruel world will allow.

“Don’t leave me,” he begs.

As if you would ever entertain the thought. You’re not sure when your love became symbiotic, but all you know is that if you tried to tear yourself from him, you would shatter in the process.

“I won’t,” you promise. Joel’s arm wraps around your waist, holding you close to his chest as he pulls his boxers down just enough to free his cock. He doesn’t bother removing your panties, he can’t be bothered to take time away from your body. Even so much as a millisecond would be too long to wait, so he pulls the dampened fabric aside. A shiver runs up your spine as the cool air caresses your flushed skin.

His nails drag against your skin as he holds your underwear in place, using it as an handle to guide your body where he wants you. The head of his cock of slides through your folds, smearing the precum that’s leaked from him against your already soaked cunt. Again, you moan for him, hoping to spur him on, but he wants to draw this out.

“Joel,” you urge against his lips.

He nips your bottom lip in response. Be patience.

Any other night, you’d whine and beg, work him up until he’s practically punishing you with his cock. ‘Fucking the brat right out of’ as he’s said on more than one occasion.

But right now, he needs to know you’re real, needs to know that whatever he saw in his nightmares was just a figment of his imagination. And the only way he can do that is to recenter himself in reality—in you.

“Promise me,” he whispers, “Promise me you’ll stay.”

“I’m right here, baby,” you assure him, your voice needy and high.

Enough of your slick coats his cock that he slides into you with relative ease. Well, easy enough considering the ample girth of his cock. The walls of your cunt ache with the stretch of him despite the countless hours Joel’s spent inside of you.

You cry out in relief as his pelvis grinds against your aching clit. It’s almost embarrassing how quickly he can work you up to the point that your body is screaming for his touch. He lets you set the pace for a while until your body adjust to him, easing the drag of your hips with the hand that holds your panties.

“Just like that darlin’,” he groans.

The praise spurs you on, and you suck air through clenched teeth as you try to speed up. Your arms are wrapped around his broad shoulders, your face contorted in pleasure as you take your fill of him.

“Fuck,” Joel hisses, “Need you so bad, darlin’.”

Now it’s his turn to set the pace, bouncing you on his cock until you wail from him slamming against your g-spot. His thrusts have you seeing stars, each lungful of air pushed from you just as you’ve gulped it down. Your spine arches to indulge in the way he ravages you, and Joel leans down to suck your nipple into his mouth.

Sharp teeth bite into your overheated skin, not so deep that they draw blood, but hard enough that you know you’ll have a bruise in the shape of his bite. He soothes the injured flesh with his tongue.

It won’t be the only bruise you’re left with. Despite Joel trying his best to be gentle, his hands grip you so tightly, you’ll have marks in the shape of his hands along your ribs and hips. In the days they take to heal, they’ll serve as welcome reminders that you’re his. All the while his cock is pounding into your wet heat, the slick sounds of him rutting up into you fill your ears.

His mouth travels up the slope of your neck to suck at your pulse point, nibbling at the skin until it too turns red and bruised from his efforts. Your hands rake through his hair, fingernails scratching his scalp as you grab at his sweat-damped tresses for leverage.

“Just like that, babe,” he pants against your neck, “Feels so fucking good.”

Grinding your clit against his curls at the base of his cock, you chase your high. Joel too is reaching his own peak, his hips stuttering with every thrust.

“D-don’t pull out,” you beg, “Cum inside me.”

Joel practically growls at your request, squeezing his arms around you tight so he can piston his cock into you. Stars fill your vision once more as you tumble over the edge, his name on your lips as you wail. A while hot orgasm rushes over you, leaving you limp in his hold. Soon after, Joel groans into your neck as his hips slow to a stop, his warm seed filling you up.

The two of you stay in this tight embrace for a while, too lost in the afterglow of your climax to part from each other. It’s easy to imagine the world is just the two of you, that you and Joel are the only people left in the world, and the only thing that matters is holding him close like this.

But all too soon, the sun will rise, and if you and Joel aren’t present and accounted for, someone will come looking. The greedy part of you wants to keep Joel all to yourself like this, satisfied and sweaty from your hedonistic embrace.

Without worries, without nightmares to plague his dreams.

When you finally float back into your body, you kiss the top of his head. Your fingers smooth through his untamed locks, and you whisper your ‘I love you’s against his scalp in a voice so small, you don’t think he can hear you.

“I’ll always be right here, Joel,” you remind him, “Right where you need me.”

He raises his face from your neck, and your heart clenches when you see he’s still crying. Your lips press to his forehead, his nose, under each of his eyes until his tears slow. If only Jackson could see your lover like this, his hard exterior shed like the clothes that litter your bedroom floor.

But you’re far too greedy for that, this Joel is for you and you alone. In these four walls, he belong to you, and you to him.

His arms relax around you slightly, still holding you close as he leans back against the pillows with you on his chest, all the while keeping his cock inside you. A pleased sigh leaves him as his thumb traces patterns along your spine.

“We could get a head start on chores for the day,” you muse as you press lazy kisses into his chest.

Joel scoffs at the idea, squeezing you to make sure you don’t get out of bed.

“I’d rather watch the sunrise with you, darlin’.”

[stevesbestgirl]

Grumpy - Part 1/2

Joel Miller x Reader

2514 words

Warnings: Jackson era!Joel, mutual pining, infected attack (reader gets scraped up but mostly unharmed), gun use, implied character (animal) death (spoiler alert, its me), vague references to reader’s past trauma, alcohol consumption

A/N: I’ve just really wanted to try writing my hand at writing Joel. I want to do another part eventually, but I’m trying to stop hoarding things because they aren’t finished, so please be patient  ❤

"Would you leave that thing alone?" Joel gave a long suffering sigh as you knelt and held out a friendly hand to the grizzled-looking tabby cat. 

"He's not a thing." You shot Joel a glare in return before returning your attention to the skittish feline sniffing your fingers. It had taken months of leaving food and wearing gloves to get this close without a scratch, but now the cat shoved its weight against your hand, the deep rumble of purring starting up like an old engine. "No one else minds when I stop. It's just for a minute."

"One more minute we don't need to be outside." He was such a stubborn bastard. 

With another withering look at Joel, you stopped scratching and dug in your bag for the food you'd brought, setting it out and giving him a quick head pat as you stood, "Sorry sweet boy, I have to go. Take care of yourself, okay?"

The walk back to town was quiet until you felt like you had to defend yourself, "I just like knowing he has something to eat."

"Other animals could smell what you're bringing him-"

"Would you stop it?" It was more of a plea than anything. "I-" You swallowed the surprising lump in your throat; it was harder to talk about these things with Joel. "I know it's silly, when everyone has lost so much, but I miss my cat. And everyone deserves to have someone look after them."

Joel surprised you with a dry chuckle, making your heart flip, "Some of us are more the looking after type, darlin'."

You lowered your gaze to your feet in the snow, pretending to focus on your footing instead of answering. You knew that. That was why Joel always got you flustered. Hell, it felt like half the town must have figured out how you felt about him based on how often you tripped over your words after getting caught stealing glances. 

The rest of the walk back was spent in silence, as it often was with Joel. He left you at your door next to his own after asking if you'd be working the bar later that night. You were, and you promised to see him later before you disappeared inside. 

***

Shifts at the bar tended to pass quickly- a hell of a lot faster than patrol anyway. There was always work to be done around the settlement during the day, but unless you were on guard duty, most nights were spent at the Clay Pit drinking the homebrew Tommy and the other guys were so proud of. You'd still kill for a wine cooler, but it was better not to think about it too much. 

By the time you realized Joel hadn't come in, it was almost ten. Tommy had come in an hour or so ago. You knew Joel would be annoyed if he knew you were worrying about him- he always raised a fuss if you tried to look after him. But still, you hoped he was okay.

It was half past eleven when Joel finally climbed onto his usual stool and tipped his chin in a greeting. You couldn't help the smile that brightened your expression when you saw him. His mouth turned up at the corner in what you always assumed was Joel’s version of a polite smile.

You set his drink in front of him, "Late night?"

He grunted something that might have been a halfhearted laugh, "Game night with Ellie."

"Boggle again?" Ellie loved to brag about beating Joel.

"Nah, I'm teaching her poker."

"Got tired of losing, huh?"

"If I had it wouldn't matter. She's already shaping up to be a mean card player."

You smiled again, "She's a smart girl."

"That she is."

You bustled off to bus tables, leaving Joel to nurse his drink. You'd heard people- other women who thought he was handsome mostly, complain about how short Joel seemed, but you never minded. You weren't much for small talk either, although you were happier than Joel to oblige when someone wanted to chat. 

You did always wonder what he was thinking. It was no surprise Ellie could read his stony expressions, since she knew him better than anyone, except maybe Tommy. But to you, Joel was like a brick wall. 

You had thought he’d been flirting with you once- one of the bar patrons had stood up unexpectedly as you were walking by and you’d nearly gone down on your ass, if not for Joel’s palm on the small of your back. It was the soft grumble of, “Careful darlin’,  fall in my lap and I might not let you go,” only loud enough for you to hear, that had your breath catching and a tidal wave of flustered apologies tumbling from your mouth. 

But as quickly as it happened, it was over. When you’d offered to make dinner for him and Ellie as thanks- the closest you’d come to asking him out on a real date- he’d waved it away. And you’d decided then that trying to decipher Joel’s feelings for you would only end up leaving you disappointed. You wanted to think he was interested and you would likely find any evidence you could to support it. But more likely than anything, the man just wanted some peace with his kid. 

*

Deciding that Joel deserved his peace was one thing, but getting your silly crush to go away, that was another. And it seemed like as time went on, you were assigned more and more patrols with Joel until you were going out together at least once a week. But Joel hadn’t complained again about stopping to visit your feline friend.

“Why do you call him that?” Joel’s voice surprised you; usually he leaned broodily against a tree, silent while you visited. 

You looked over your shoulder at Joel, the cat still brushing against your shins, “Sweet boy?” Joel nodded, his gaze still on the trees, ever diligent in keeping watch. “Because he is.”

That pulled a dry chuckle from him, the sound startling the cat, “Didn’t you damn-near need stitches the first time you got near him?”

“He was scared,” you defended. “But now that he knows I’m safe, he’s a total love bug.” You shot him a teasing smile, “Kind of like you with Ellie.” You knew no one at the compound would believe it if you told them, but Joel’s cheeks seemed to darken, even beneath the several days-old scruff on his cheeks.

You didn’t call attention to it, digging in your bag for the food you’d brought. Once he was happily eating, you gave him a pat and said your goodbyes, prompting Joel to speak again as you started the rest of the walk home, his voice low, “You don’t wanna give him a real name, do you?”

You thought about lying; it was even harder to be vulnerable when Joel was asking for it- it threw you off guard. “Not particularly. Makes it harder if something does happen to him.”

“Why don’t you bring him in if you worry so much?”

You didn’t bother to suppress a soft sigh, you’d gone in circles about it, “I don’t know how he would do. If he would stay. How he would be around so many people. I don’t want him to be unhappy.”

Joel let it be after that, waiting silently each time you stopped after that. Until the day you stopped and made the chirping sound like usual and your friend didn’t come trotting out from the trees. Heart stuttering, you rolled your tongue again, a bit louder, but there was no sign of him. 

"Sweet boy?" You stepped a bit deeper into the woods and clicked your tongue again, waiting. Your heart was beating in your ears, breath getting stuck in your throat. 

You were waiting for a comment from Joel- an "I told you so," or an empty reassurance, but neither came. 

You tried to call out again, but your voice broke. You squeezed your eyes shut to stifle the tears trying to well up. 

"Darlin'-" You heard the scuff of a boot on dirt and then, "Shit- move!"

Even with your eyes closed, the shadow was still discernible; you stumbled out of the way just in time for a snarl and a swipe at your coat sleeve. There was a sharp bang, then two more in quick succession. You were mid-kick, ready to fight a follow up attack that never came; the zombie crumpled to the ground as you fell backwards, your palms scraping the dirt. 

After a beat of silence, you whispered, "Fuck." Then tears spilled over into your cheeks as you stared numbly at the corpse on the ground. 

Then Joel was grabbing your arms, his face blocking your view, "Are you alright?" The way he said it made you think it wasn't the first time he'd asked. 

"I'm fine." After a beat of deciding whether to accept that, Joel hauled you up by the forearms. You wiped your cheeks with the back of your hand, mindful of the scrapes on your palms; you needed to pull yourself together until you were home. Until Joel wasn't around to see you cry. 

But Joel refused to leave you at your door like usual, "Lemme help you get cleaned up." 

You didn't have it in you to argue. So you ended up sitting on the closed toilet lid while Joel knelt in front of you, your first aid kit open on the counter. You didn't flinch when he disinfected the scrapes, drawing a raised eyebrow, but no questions.

Once you were bandaged up, he rumbled low, brown eyes boring into yours, "You sure you're alright?" He was still holding your wrist.

You nodded numbly, "Just shaken up." You broke eye contact, "'M sorry."

He tapped his thumb on your chin, urging you to look at him, "What're you sorry for?"

"You were right. I shouldn't have stopped. I probably got him killed. Almost got myself killed, if not for you." Saying it aloud made the tears spring back up.

"None of that was your fault." The way Joel's expression softened would have melted your heart on a normal day. Today it made you feel like an idiot. 

"Thanks. But I think I need to be alone for a little bit." 

If you didn't know better, you'd think you caught him by surprise. But he recovered quickly, his thumb brushing over your wrist as he stood. You followed him to the door, “Thanks for the help, Joel.” 

He nodded, but he hesitated for a moment before he left, his fingers wrapped around the open door. He glanced at you again and practically grunted, “You’re welcome.” Then he stepped through the door and hastened off the patio. You had been kind of rude; you couldn’t blame him for being annoyed. You closed the door quickly; you would feel guilty for your rudeness later, but you needed to be sad in peace.

*

“Surprised you’re working tonight,” Tommy commented when he came into the bar at half past nine. 

You glanced at him in the middle of bussing the bar, “Better than sitting home. Joel told you?”

“Had me out practically ‘til dark looking for that cat.” He gave a chuckle to show he held no real contempt for his brother, but your throat felt a bit tight.

Finally you mustered, “That was nice of you both. I wouldn’t have expected you to find anything, but I appreciate it.”

Tommy glanced down at the bar, clearing his throat, “We, uh, actually did find something.” Somehow your heart sank even lower. “No body, but there was some fur- a few different colors not far from where that infected was.” 

You nodded, struggling to stay dry-eyed, “Thanks for telling me.” You tipped your chin at the room, “I should do a round.”

Tommy nodded and freed you to check on the other patrons; you made sure to keep yourself busy until you locked the door behind you. You’d been dreading the end of your shift. 

Even though it was the same as always, your empty house seemed to magnify the loss inside you. If you said it out loud, it would sound so silly to be so upset over a cat- one that wasn’t even really your pet. But it really felt like the nail in the coffin of loss; your parents, your boyfriend, your sister. You’d bourne it all without a fuss. Survival had taken priority. But Jackson had made you soft- made you feel safe. Now this one little thing without even a proper name felt like the straw to break the camel’s back. 

You took your blanket out to the swing on your front porch- Joel had helped you fix it- and wrapped yourself up. You huddled up to block your cheeks against the chilly air, but it was worth it for the view of the stars. The chilly night air in your lungs and the bright sparkle of the sky with tonight’s clear sky helped to clear your head.

“What are you doing out here so late?” Joel’s voice broke you from your stupor. You must have visibly jumped because he quickly added, his voice a bit softer, “Sorry darlin’, didn’t mean to spook ya.” He walked halfway up your front sidewalk and paused.

“That’s okay, I should probably go inside anyway.” 

You didn’t make any move to get up and Joel came closer, leaning against the rail post, “You’ll get sick sittin’ out here dressed like that.”

“The cold doesn’t actually make you sick, you know.” You surprised both of you by sounding more like your normal self. 

“You sound like Ellie.”

“Like I said before, she’s a smart girl.”

That pulled a curl from the corner of his mouth that looked suspiciously like a smile in the dim light. He wasn’t going to let you joke your way out of the conversation though. “You alright? Actually?”

You nodded, “I’m okay. Just needed some air.” There was a pause, then you added, “I appreciate that you went out to look for him. You didn’t have to do that.”

“I’m still hopin’ he’ll turn up.”

You glanced away, “It’s okay. Tommy told me about what you found.”

“That jackass. I asked him to wait until I was sure.”

“I’m sure enough,” you said. “It’s too dangerous to be out there looking for him.” You offered a sad smile, “You don’t have to take care of me because you feel bad. I’m alright.”

Giving a sardonic chuckle, Joel raised an eyebrow, “I don’t look after anyone because I feel bad for them.”

“And yet, you’re here, making sure I go inside and get warm before you go home.”

He shook his head, “And you’re still here, probably freezing.” He tromped up onto the porch and offered you a hand up. You reluctantly accepted and let him steer you to the front door. He tugged the blanket up more tightly around your shoulders, “Get some sleep, alright?”

You nodded, “Good night, Joel.”

[avionvadion]

One, really love the drabble regarding El and Lucifer. Especially since you can tell Lucifer is struggling to stay in the moment, but Elanora is doing a pretty good job keeping him grounded in reality. Which works out in his favor because that actively lets him start writing the letter instead of giving up before he even starts.

Two, I admit it. Whilst I know the circumstances probably won't let it happen, I can totally see El joining in on Ellie and Charlie's duet during "You Didn't Know" (maybe she was dragged along so she can guilt trip the higher ups of Heaven lol) because sure, she may not be able to come up with lyrics on the spot, but I can see her being able to join in on that sort of thing. And, well, considering everything revealed at Heaven El would be justified in getting a bit angry at Sera alongside Ellie and Charlie-

Alsjslsjlaksks thank youuuu! 💕💕💕

I struggled so hard trying to write Lucifer a song. El was going to sing a song that followed the line of “trust me” but I couldn’t find one outside of FnaF and Jungle Book (oh the irony there) before scrolling through my old middle school Sound Cloud playlist and was like, wait. Holy frick. Lost Within fits Luci so well???? And thus that happened, lol.

Anyways! Sorry. I ramble.

Luci’s brain is so scrambled, he needs someone to pull him back sometimes. I imagine there ends up being a few moments when he and El are together and he starts to get so distant it actually starts to scare her, and she ends up grabbing his arm- surprising him and snapping him out of his spiraling mind- to make sure he doesn’t just… disappear.

And for sure El would go with them. Charlie will be using her to be like, “All the Sinners at the hotel have been protecting this poor, innocent soul that was wrongly summoned to Hell! She’s been helping me redeem them, one step at a time!”

Heaven is absolutely going to lose their shit because WHAT DO YOU MEAN A HUMAN WAS SUMMONED INTO HELL!??? Emily would be ecstatic while Sera is just… no longer functioning.

They probably try to convince her to stay in Heaven instead since she’s so “pure hearted” or whatever and it’d be safer for her, but El is like, “Haha sorry I promised Lucifer a thing so I gotta stay” and they’re like “LUCIFER!??? WHAT PROMISE!???” “Ah, well, he said he’d protect me if I give him advice about some stuff and I kinda gotta be in Hell for that…” and Adam just fucking loses it. “BITCH YOU’RE STAYING IN HELL FOR THAT FUCKING LOSER???” “That loser’s ex wife used to be YOUR wife, dude” “SHUT THE FUCK UP, STAY IN HELL. HOPE YOU DIE TOMORROW AND TURN INTO A DEMON SO I CAN EXTERMINATE YOU NEXT WEEK”

(Adam immediately gets smacked upside the head by Sera)

I think by that point in time, El has been in Hell for so long she can participate in songs- but she can’t burst out singing with one of her own. Also maybe her relationship with Lucifer comes into a play a bit, since he’s magic (ancient magic, specifically) and… well…

Being repeatedly exposed to magic would certainly start letting one be affected by it, right? Haha… ha… ahem. Maybe she isn’t wholly human anymore after a while. El may not have fallen or died, but giving oneself to the literal King of Hell, former archangel or not, isn’t about to let you stay Human. 👀

Anyways. Yeah. El would be pissed and would probably throw shade at the angel council that, while Hell may be full of horrors, the people there are at least honest- something Angels are supposed to be- and have gone out of their way to make her feel welcome, whereas Heaven is full of hypocrites and assholes like Adam who just make her uncomfortable.

“If Hell is forever then Heaven must be a lie! If Angels can do whatever and remain in the sky!” Ellie hops up on the table behind Emily and Charlie. “The rules are shades of gray, when you don’t do as you say! When you make the wretched suffer just to kill them again!”

Hell is Forever is such a freaking bop though oh my gods. You Didn’t Know a masterful reprise of it.

I’m obsessed with Loser, Baby though. It’s so swingy and jazzy and UGH. It’s so good.

[lilbit-of-kizzy]

So I know, from a poll I did this week, that there are a lot of people completely new to The Last of Us. So let me try to quickly sum up (edit: I'm ADHD that didn't happen I'm so sorry) why this picture is causing people to gush

During the game you can find collectables, these can be comic books (the one Sam and Ellie were reading), firefly pendants, notes, etc

One series of notes you can find are all laid out as environmental story telling of what happened in the sewers (access tunnels in the show)

Ish (ala Ishmael) cast out to sea in his boat as the pandemic started, when that was no longer viable he came back to shore, saw that indeed everything had gone to shit, and set up inside a locked sewer system

He traded for a while, eventually inviting some families inside with him. They set up a thriving little city, full of families, with working water systems, gardens, schools, living quarters, the works (the place is huge and takes up and entire chapter of the game)

Then, just once, someone forgets to shut a door tight. And that's the end, you even find a pile of bodies under a tarp, and realize it's most of the children. A note nearby talks about how they were trapped, infected pounding on the door, and "I'll make it quick...if it comes to that" with "they didn't suffer" scrawled on the ground nearby

Once you escape said sewers you find a spray painted DON'T ENTER, DEAD INSIDE kind of thing on the outside door "thanks for the warning on the other side!" Ellie quips and you head to a nearby suburban area

Inside one of the houses you can find another note from the man who had to kill the children, agreeing that he and his family joining Ish might work out "now that wasn't a very good idea was it" -Joel

And a bit further on finally another note from Ish about what happened. He and the first lady he invited in, and some of her family (but not all) were the only ones to survive

So in the show? That horde that crawled out of the basement? That was, indeed, the whole group that Ish had tried to save in the access tunnels. The drawing was a nod to game players to say "yes this still happened, you know what must be coming"

[twinsarekeepers]

Let me preface this by saying, I’m a pre-med student who works in a psychology lab as a research assistant and has also worked in a doctor’s office with actual patients. A lot of my opinions about this ending are informed by that aspect of myself, but that does not mean I don’t understand the incredible weight and horror of Joel’s decision either. I am also a writer and the narrative of a parent’s love being that destructive is so compelling.

However, it’s not more important to me than making sure people know how egregiously terrible the Fireflies are. Because the logic that something can morally outweigh informed consent is what has led to some truly horrific, catastrophic events in our REAL human history. Henrietta Lacks, the Tuskegee study, and the CIA’s fake vaccination drive in Pakistan come to mind immediately for me. These are all events that I encourage everyone to learn about.

Putting all that aside for now, objectively, Jerry Anderson was stupid and wrong in every way possible. You never ever want to completely destroy the subject you are working on, ESPECIALLY if that is the only one you have. Because wtf are you going to do if your experiment doesn’t work? You killed the one source! Literally anything would’ve been better than KILLING ELLIE?? Killing her should be the very last resort after exhausting every other possible avenue, which they didn’t. (Before someone tells me that I need to suspend my disbelief … no. The whole show is rooted in realism and that this is a possibility SCIENTIFICALLY … so I’m going to think about it with my science brain, I’m sorry!)

Now onto the part that I know y’all are going to get your panties in a twist about, Ellie herself and her capacity to give consent. Which in my opinion, coming from someone whose literal job it is to get informed consent, she did not have.

Bodily autonomy and agency is obviously very important but you would never let your child run into oncoming traffic because “oh, it’s their body and I’d be violating their autonomy and agency if I physically held them back!!” Like no. That’s a child that doesn’t fully grasp what they are doing or what is going on around them so you as the adult must make the decision to not let them harm themselves.

Ellie is a slew of red flags to someone who would be searching for participants for an experiment. For one, Ellie is a child. Getting informed consent from a child is already hard because their brains are not developed enough to fully grasp and understand what they’d be agreeing to. Two, Ellie has gone through immense trauma and is suffering from the worst case of survivor’s guilt to possibly ever exist. She literally feels like the only way to compensate for her loss is to die. She is the definition of passively suicidal. The way I would rule her out of a study so fast and send her links to every helpline I know. And yes, I know that she can never actually get the help she needs. But in my opinion, she is not in any way able to give consent and Jerry and nurses should’ve been very aware of that.

So, the fact that the Fireflies are just medically inept, and on top of that, didn’t care to get consent, and even if they had, it wouldn’t matter because Ellie is not in a position to be making that kind of decision, makes them very, very wrong.

Does that make Joel right? No. Because Joel wasn’t thinking about any of that. He believed that the Fireflies knew what they were doing, that they had a shot at making a cure and he also knew what Ellie would want (again, she’s still not a position to give consent but JOEL DOESN’T KNOW THAT BECAUSE HE’S NOT A MEDICAL PROFESSIONAL) and he still chose to save Ellie over … the entire world. And then he lied to her about it.

(And the lie was to protect her emotionally because he knows she takes on so much blame and he doesn’t want to cause even MORE damage and pile on top of that insane survivor’s guilt … but lying to a teenager is never the way to go, they always know).

TLDR: it is very, very complicated!

[canirove]

The Princess & the Football Player | Chapter 28

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Masterlist

"Good morning, sweetheart."

"Hi."

"I've brought you some breakfast" my mum says, leaving a tray with food on the bedside table and sitting on the bed.

"I'm not hungry."

"You must eat something."

"I'm not hungry" I repeat.

"Eleanor, please. I'm sure he wouldn't like to see you getting sick."

"Why did you have to mention him?" I say, covering my head with the duvet and starting to cry.

"I'm sorry. I just... Drink the juice at least. You will dihydrate if you keep crying like that."

"I don't care!"

"Eleanor..."

"Leave me alone!"

"I'm your mother, I'm not going anywhere." 

And so far, she hasn't. Since the moment she found me crying on the floor after Declan left, she has been by my side. She has spent the whole night with me, taking care of me, comforting me. When she left to pick up my breakfast, it probably is the longest she has been gone for.

"Eleanor... Ellie..." she says after taking a deep breath. "Do you know why at first I opposed to you dating Declan?"

"Because you are a snob with a stick up your ass."

"No, Eleanor" she sighs. "I opposed to it because I knew this would happen. Because I knew he'll end up breaking your heart, and I didn't want to see you suffer like this."

"Because he isn't like us."

"Exactly."

"See? You are a snob!"

"I am not a snob. But I better than anyone know how it feels to fall in love with a royal when you aren't part of that world. What it entails, all the sacrifices you must make, how much you must fight. And it isn't easy, Eleanor. You don't know how many times I had my phone on my hand ready to call your dad and tell him it was over, that I couldn't deal with the press, with everything I had to learn if I wanted to be queen one day. It was so tough. Not just for me, but for everyone around me."

"But you never did it. You never gave up like he has done."

"Because unlike Declan, I had nothing to lose. If things between Philip and I hadn't worked out, if we had broken up... Yes, we both would be heartbroken. Especially me. But that was it. I had my studies and I could start again. Maybe not in England, but definitely somewhere else. Declan doesn't have that luxury."

"What do you mean?" I ask, uncovering my head.

"He has his career. His dream. Everything he and his family have worked for since he was a kid. They've sacrificed many things for it, and he couldn't lose that."

"So instead, he chose to lose me."

"Yes. But not because you weren't worth it, because he doesn't love you, or because it was the easier choice. He did it because he knows it is something that can be fixed."

"What?"

"When I found out you were seeing someone who wasn't Charles, I thought it was just something fleeting. Then I noticed how happy you were, that you actually had feelings for whoever that boy was. And despite suspecting that he probably was one of Mason's friends and that you had met him through Roberta, I said to myself… well, maybe it will work out. Just look at her, at how she is glowing. Then you told us who he was and I knew it was a mistake, that you would end up hurting each other. But you both still kept fighting. And then, again, I thought… maybe I'm wrong. Maybe they'll work through this, maybe the fact that he has had to deal with huge pressure before at such a young age will help them."

"But you were wrong."

"Yes and no. I was wrong because he clearly hasn't been able to deal with everything that has happened since the press found out about you two and with everything else going on on the pitch. But Eleanor... The way you and Declan love each other... You don't get to see that every day. It is true love. Right now you probably feel like the world is ending, like it is over. But it isn't. This just wasn't your moment to be together. You'll have a second chance, I'm sure of it."

"What... What do you mean?"

"I..." she says, taking a deep breath. "I think that one day, both of you will be strong enough to fight against anything and everything, and you will be ready to get back together. I don't know when that will happen, but..."

"It isn't a goodbye, it's a see you soon" I say, remembering what Declan said before he left.

"That's it, yes."

"If one day that happens... If we get back together… Will you support us? Will you be by our side?"

"I will. I promise you I will" she says, caressing my cheek.

"It would have been easier if you had told me all this before, you know? Everyone kept telling me that you were just trying to protect me, but if you had explained it to me..."

"I know. I just… I didn't know how to do it, so I took the harsh way. But I love you, Eleanor. You know I do, don't you?"

"I do" I say, sitting up.

"I'm sorry I didn't do things right. That I hurt you so much. Both you and Declan."

"It's ok" I whisper.

"I know things are gonna be very difficult. That right now you are heartbroken and feel like nothing makes sense anymore. But I'm here for you, and I will help you with everything. Now and always" she says, taking my hand on hers. 

"Thank you, mum" I cry.

"Oh, come here" she says, hugging me.

"I love you."

"I love you too, Eleanor."

[im-akira]

Joel Miller x F!Reader | 𝐒𝐓𝐑𝐀𝐍𝐆𝐄𝐑𝐒 | 🌿

Chapter 4 : The secret | Chapter 5 | Summary

Series Summary : Joel Miller is no longer the same man after losing his entire family, except his little brother. A few months later, after saving Ellie from the Fireflies. He now lives in a community of survivors with Ellie and her younger brother, Tommy.

He has only one goal, to ensure his own survival and that of those he loves. Until the day he crossed paths with a young woman and her son in the community. The young woman’s face was particularly familiar.

Are you and Joel strangers or are you a lot more than that ?

Warnings : Mature content angst, smut, romance, blood, violence...

Do not : Claim, Repost, Copy, or Translate my stories anywhere else.

Notes : Reference to certain scenes of the series and the game. If some things bother you, inconsistent in my story, do not hesitate to tell me this will allow me to improve ! 😊

I apologize in advance but English is not my mother tongue. 💙

~*.♪。★*・゜・＊♪*.♪。★*・゜・＊♪*.♪°~

- « Mom, are you okay ? You know I can stay here with you. I don't want to- » James suddenly stops talking after his mother puts her hand on his cheek. The glint reflected in his eyes shows that his decision had been made for some time.

- « Listen to me, my angel, you’ll be happy to change your mind. In today’s world, it’s hard to have that kind of moment, a moment of respite. I’ll figure it out on my own, don’t worry about me, okay ? » She closes after she takes her hand off her son’s cheek. His body hurt him, he shot from all sides, but Y/N doesn’t show it to his son.

Ever since Y/N had just met Joel, the truth had hit him in the face. She had told him straight in the eye that her husband was not dead, funny thing, he was right in front of her.

But nothing happened, neither wanted to say anything about it. Why pretend they are just strangers when they are just the opposite.

The truth hurt so much that neither Y/N nor Joel had the courage to fall into each other's arms. The years passed gave way to a distance they grew accustomed to, each protecting themselves in their own way.

Holding on to someone in this world, Joel and Y/N fully understood that it ended in pain and suffering. And neither of them wanted to relive that feeling.

Everyone had someone they could hang on to, Ellie for Joel and James for Y/N. It was their pillar and their two lights.

For the moment, James paid no attention to any of this. He was more concerned about this city, the people, the integration and doing his best to help. On Ellie's side, it was pretty much the same. She was learning to live a normal life.

Y/N also figured that Joel and Ellie would probably take care of James. He is no longer a child today but an adult, an adult who must fly away on his own.

James gets up and observes his exhausted mother in his bed, he no longer discusses and becomes aware of his words. Heart-bound, he barely leaves the room and takes the stairs one step at a time.

- « I trust him, I know he will be fine without me.» After his few words, exhausted by fever, Y/N falls asleep without much difficulty against his pillow.

James is in the living room preparing his things from right to left, he seems a little agitated. He looks at his guitar next to the TV. « Sorry, but today you stay here. Take care of my mother. »

This is the first time he will go outside without Y/N. Even at twenty-eight, James has always stayed with his mother. During all his years, he kept the promise he had made to his father and he will keep it until his death. On Joel's side...

- « So ? Do you really think it was her or did I make a mistake ? » Tommy asked looking at his brother sitting on the sofa across from him. The younger brother was not agitated at all, which was quite the opposite of Joel.

Joel puts a hand through his hair, then down into his beard, heaving a sigh from his lips. « Well, I would say you were right. » Joel watches his brother take a glass of whiskey and lean against the edge of a piece of furniture in his living room. « To sum up the situation, I had a great time talking to him about different things, including learning a bit more about his past. »

Ellie was not present with Joel in this discussion. She had an event to prepare with the other Jackson teenagers. She wasn't exactly excited about the idea, but Joel justified that he needed to have a private chat with his brother. He also assured her that she had nothing to worry about, that it was nothing serious.

Anyway, they will meet for the mission with James and Y/N this afternoon.

Tommy takes a sip. « Now that you know your wife and son are here, what are you going to do ? »

- « You may find me selfish, even absurd. But I wouldn't do anything. » He concludes by getting up from the sofa and walking towards his bag placed on the living room table. « I have something to do today, we'll postpone this discussion, okay ? »

Joel was still running away, reality and truth were so close to him that he didn't want to face it. Not at the moment anyway.

He didn't really give Tommy a choice to ask more questions. Both knew very well that this discussion was far from over. Joel didn't need to ask more about his brother's opinion, his look said a lot.

Tommy remains surprisingly calm despite the words he has just heard. He knows what Joel was playing. But he also knew very well that he wouldn't let go of him like that, especially after his answer to his question. « Do you go out with specific people where you used to go alone ? »

- « Yes, with Ellie, James and Y/N. Ellie needs to change her guitar strings, but since I used the latest materials for James' guitar, I have nothing left. We go to the old music store. » Joel quickly checks what's in his bag, to make sure he doesn't forget anything, always with his back to his brother.

- « Okay, i would have liked to accompany you but Maria wants me to welcome newcomers to the city. I also promised Thomas that I would help him on the buildings in the city. I guess that will be for next time. » Concludes Tommy by finishing his drink and then placing it on the cabinet in front of him. « Have a good trip and be careful, big brother. »

- « I won't be alone, Tommy. Ellie will be there and I'm sure James and his mother will be able to fight if things get worse. They managed to reach Jackson, so there is nothing to worry about. »

- « You know that in this world it's not the infected who are most to be feared, but come on, you have to go, I won't hold you back anymore. He finishes his words by finishing his glass through a large sip. »

Tommy crosses one foot in front of the other to join his brother and comes to put some blows on his back. « If it's her, your family. Reconnect with it and don't let go, okay ? Today having a family... It's an opportunity, a gift. »

Joel smiled slightly after receiving the pats from Tommy. He turns to him and takes him in his arms for a few seconds. « I'm not alone, little bro, I've got you, Ellie and Jackson. »

Tommy slowly slips out of Joel's arms and looks him up and down, letting out a light laugh. « Wow ! There is nothing to say, old age makes you more and more sentimental. Come on, enough talk. » Tommy leaves the living room, closing the door behind him, he leaves to join his wife to welcome the newcomers.

A few minutes later..

Ellie and James are already there, Y/N seems absent. Joel approaches the two teenagers and slightly relaxes his shoulders. « Hello to you two. Can't see your mum James, did she have a problem ? » He asked looking at the young man. Joel didn't show it directly in front of the youngsters but he was worried.

- « Yes, she fell ill recently. This morning she was stuck in bed with a fever, and she couldn't get up. So she asked me to tell you that she deeply apologizes for not being there. »

- « I see. Ellie and I will visit her when we get back from our little getaway to see how she is. » After finishing talking with James, Joel turns to Ellie, she seems completely lost in thought. She probably didn't pay attention to Joel's arrival. « Are you okay with that Ellie ? »

Ellie who has her arms crossed pays no attention to Joel's question.

James comes over and shakes her shoulder slightly to try to bring her back to reality. « And ! Ellie ? Joel asks you a question. »

- « Oh ? Mmh.. Yeah, it's fine. » Ellie didn't want to look bad in front of Joel or James. But her mind had decided even today to confront her with certain questions that she had decided to put off until later, placing her or deeper within herself. She didn’t want to fight anymore, she really wanted to be able to enjoy this life that held out her arms after all her years.

Ellie is acting weird and Joel can sense that it concerns him in some way. It must have something to do with what he swore to her, everything he said about the Fireflies was wrong. It had to happen sooner or later, but why now ?

Or maybe she just blamed him for not allowing her to stay with him during the conversation he had with Tommy? Hard to say.

Silence is sometimes the best way to say what you want to say.

A rather disturbing tension is created within the group. James hates this kind of feeling, he didn't come to sulk but to enjoy this day. « How about we go to that famous music store ? You two can talk in more detail along the way. »

James didn't know the story between Joel and Ellie. All he could understand and see so far was that they were in a father-daughter relationship. The rest was complete nothingness.

He did not like to interfere in other people’s lives. Only when the person decides to open up to him will he go further. James will never force someone to do something he doesn’t want to do, it wasn’t in his nature.

After each and retrieving their horse, they leave the stables and head to the old music store. Ellie who knows the place passes in front of the group while remaining silent. James and Joel stay behind and follow her closely.

Joel on his side squeezes the reins of his horse a little more in his hands. A question for James was in his head. It's none of his business, and it's probably possible the young man won't answer. Yet he tries anyway.

- « James, have you ever killed infected people with your own hands ? »

James looks up thinking a bit about the answer to Joel's question. He was not afraid to answer with the utmost sincerity. After all, in the world he lived in, it was survival first. If he had to have blood on his hands to protect those he loves, James wouldn't hesitate.

- « Yes. During our trip across the country, my mother and I encountered infected people. I managed to get out of it, but my mother always knew how to do better than me. Actually. When I stand in front of them with the gun in my hand, I don't feel like I have an infected person, but a human face. »

Y/N like Joel, since each lost part of the other, had only one word in mind “Survival”. Even if it means doing bad things, his life and sometimes that of his son could be put in danger. It was out of the question for the young mother to lose someone again.

So there were situations where it was Y/N pulling the trigger first and not James. Who could judge him? Just because he was a man, didn't mean he could do it all. He was still young and had to learn to find his bearings with weapons and the world.

After several minutes, Ellie hesitates and decides to join the conversation. « They’re no longer human, James, they’re just infected. Their souls have long since left their bodies. »

- « I agree with you, but there is always a part of me that wants to believe otherwise. »

Joel is happy to hear Ellie join the conversation after she speaks. « Tell me, Ellie, Raphael told me you did pretty well on group patrols. He even thinks you are ready for two-up patrols. »

Ellie tugs on her horse's reins to slow her pace and finish alongside Joel. His gaze was filled with determination. « I shoot better than almost anyone. And I have more experience than most new recruits. So if-... »

Joel cuts Ellie off at the end of her sentence. « Look, if you think you're ready, then I trust you. »

Confidence is not claimed, it is even less demanded, it is earned. Ellie deserved to have Joel's trust and vice versa. Through the adventures, the walls, the pains, the joys, all his things helped create this trust between them. And Joel made her understand that he would always be behind her despite the obstacles that will arise between them.

Ellie let out a little silence after what Joel said, she didn't expect to hear that. Somehow, even if it was just words, it warms her heart. « Thank you, Joel. »

It was one of the few times Joel gave in to Ellie, but he does it and it suits him just fine. He had to learn to let her grow, because one day he won't be there to protect her from this world.

- « But I would still prefer that you stick to the shortest routes for now. Just until you can get your bearings. »

Ellie doesn't say another word and smiles back at Joel to let him know she's happy with his choice and his behavior towards her.

James didn't say anything either, he listened and observed the behavior of the two very carefully. He shared the same relationship with his mother, but sometimes he wished he could go back and find his life before just for a moment.

He missed his father and sister terribly, as did his mother. James overheard Y/N talking several times in his sleep. What came out most often was the name of his father and his sister. It was continuous nightmares. He had understood that since that day, his mother was no longer the same and neither was he.

Until the final destination, the group remained particularly silent. It didn't bother James, on the contrary, he was glad everyone was talking about something. The atmosphere was much different than before leaving Jackson.

- « The music store should be over there. We'll have to leave the horses here. » Ellie concluded after getting off her horse first. She then recovers her weapons on the saddle of her horse, her bag is already on her shoulders. « Hey, Paillette. No nonsense while I'm gone ! »

Ellie had her own horse now, it wasn't the size of an adult horse yet but it was enough for the young teenager. The connection between her and Paillette had been immediate when Ellie and Joel arrived in Jackson. Since one and the other no longer separates when it comes to leaving the city.

James in turn dismounts from his horse and also gets his weapons strapped to his saddle. After recovering everything, he comes to pet his horse and watches it carefully through his eyes. « Maybe we'll go away for a while. So take care of the other horses, okay ? »

James loved horses, but he especially admired one species, giraffes.

When he was younger, he had the chance to meet his creatures, he was fascinated. It was a father-son day, Sarah was at school and Y/N was at work. Joel took the day off to take James to the zoo for the first time.

The first time he saw one. Joel install it on his shoulders to get closer so he can stroke the tip of his snout. At that moment, Joel could see in his son's eyes all the love and innocence he carried within him.

He laughed and smiled, just like Ellie when she also encountered a giraffe. There was no word to describe it, Joel was overjoyed.

Joel gets off his horse last. He already has his weapons around his shoulder, tied together. He takes his bag and walks over to Ellie and James to see if they're ready to go to the music store. « Are you ready to go ? » He might not show it, but Joel was anxious to get back into that building.

Ellie walks past the boys climbing a wall to get to the other side of where they are. After straightening up, the young teenager sees in the distance the music store that Tommy told her about. « He didn't lie, the music store is right in front of us ! »

The boys climb the wall at the same time and join Ellie. Joel puts his hands on his hips and looks at the music store a little further from them. « He's not very far. »

- « Do you really think we'll find something there ? » James asked looking at the group. He had no doubt to follow Ellie and Joel but sometimes certain dangers arrive faster than you think.

- « I would say we have to believe it and go see for ourselves. » Ellie concludes by trotting towards the path to the store. Her hands firmly tied to her bag, she was playful at the idea of ​​venturing into the building.

At the bottom of the road, 2 trucks seem to block the road to the group.

Joel comes behind Ellie with James, he approaches her and watches the truck, it is quite big but not impossible to cross. « Do you want me to help you up ? »

- « I don't mind. » Ellie lets Joel walk past her so he can take a stand against the truck.

- « If you need help, I'm here. » While Joel helps Ellie, James steps forward on her side. He takes his bag off his shoulders and throws it on the other side of the vehicle. Picking up a little momentum, he catches himself on the truck and manages to climb onto the roof.

Ellie for her part relies on the help of Joel. She felt in the strength of Joel's arms that he was no longer young, that old age was catching up with him very closely. « You should be careful, Joel, I feel old age is catching up with you ! » With that said, Ellie quickly grabs the edge of the roof of the vehicle, James comes to support her.

Joel sighs with satisfaction at the young teenager’s words. This is the kind of moment Ellie liked to tease. If Joel was laughing, then Ellie had managed to get her day back. « You should be careful what you say, kid. » When Ellie arrived alongside James, Joel did the same action as James to join them.

The group now heads for the entrance of the old store. Ellie throws herself at the doors first, shooting several times towards her, the doors don't seem to want to open. « It is impossible to enter here, it is completely blocked. »

Both Joel and James are crouched on the ground, tilting their heads towards a passageway under the store's roof that appears to have caved in over time. « We may have something here. »

James comes over to pat Joel on the shoulder to let him know he might have the answer to his problem. « Why not lift that wooden beam ? I'm going with Ellie and we're sneaking around and trying to find a way to open you up from the inside. »

- « Mmh... » Joel mumbling in his beard doesn’t seem to be ready for James' idea. However, this is the only solution available to the group at this time. Despite Ellie’s reflections on her age, Joel no longer had the same abilities as twenty years ago.

- « We can try. And you won't have to worry, Joel. James will be there to help me. » Ellie breaks the silence of the two men's conversation. The posture she was in did not represent fear, only confidence and readiness for adventure.

Joel trusted Ellie and James too, after all he was her son. Deep down, he didn't want to send his two children to this building. What can await them on the other side? If something happens to them, Joel will never forgive himself.

Even though somehow Joel had just found his son, he had to be very distant with him. He couldn't show her any sign that could make her suspect who he really is. A father and a stranger to him.

For Joel, it was not the time, not now. But sooner or later he is going to have to be, where he will have to live with regrets for the rest of his life.

Joel grabs the wooden beam with his hands and lifts it with all his remaining strength in his legs. « Go ahead, cross and be careful. »

James doesn't argue further and slips through the passage first, Ellie follows James quickly after. She crosses to the end of the passage and stands up, turning on her flashlight. « I'm here and so is James ! Wait two seconds ! » She said raising her voice.

- « Okay ! I'm in front of the doors ! »

James holds his flashlight firmly in his hands and takes a quick tour of the place, staying close to Ellie. « Really charming this place. »

James and Ellie together end up inspecting the rooms of the music store where they are. They managed to recover, bandages, few medicines and preserves. No rope sign at this time.

Joel grows impatient when he doesn't see Ellie and James return. « And ! You find something ? » They had only been gone for a few minutes, but for Joel it seemed like an eternity.

James carefully walks past each room, he and Ellie retrieve what they can from her bag and continue to look for ways to open the doors for Joel. « We are looking for ! »

Ellie slowly walks away from James and finds a hallway that leads to the doors of the store. « James ! Over there ! » The young teenager advances cautiously despite the silence in the building. A chair blocks the entrance, Ellie grabs it and removes it, throwing it on the floor next to her.

The doors open quickly for Joel, James arrives seconds later behind Ellie. « We are back. »

- « So, impressed ? »

- « Not bad but you're too skinny. You have to eat, you know?" He says amusedly and walks past them.

It was one of Joel’s ways of expressing himself in his own way to thank them for opening the doors and coming back alive. He always had this way with Ellie, through humor and jokes.

James continues to look through the various rooms for a passage through the music store. A cash machine intrigued his eyes, he cautiously approached and put his hands against him. He could see a passage behind but a problem arises, spores were present on the other side. « I should put my mask on so I don't arouse suspicion in front of Ellie and Joel. »

Joel and Ellie walk towards James. Joel realizes after watching him that he's found something, maybe a passage. « Did you find anything for us, James ? »

- « Yes. Behind this dispenser there is a passage. But there is a problem, spores. » He observes out of the corner of his eye through the end of the wooden board if there are any infected, at first sight nothing to report.

Unfortunately, it is in the shadows that the infected like to come out and surprise.

- « I see. It's our only passage so I only see one thing, put on our masks. » Concluded to Joel taking his mask from his bag and attaching it to his face. Ellie and James do the same by equipping their masks.

With the mask fitted, James stands in front of the vending machine blocking their way. « Here we are. » James pushes to move the distributor out of the way, Joel helps him.

What Joel didn't know was that his son had the same abilities as Ellie. He was immune, just like her, and conversely James didn't know about the young teenager.

- « Come on, a little more effort and it's good. »

- « You are both doing well. » Complimenting the boys, Ellie goes first behind them to squeeze through the narrow passage. The spores are there, but strangely no infected seem to be in the room. « You can come, the way is clear. »

The group continues to inspect the store, hoping to find guitar strings. Silence reigns around them, the atmosphere is heavy. But that doesn't stop Ellie, Joel and James from moving on. A few minutes later, they climbed over a wall and finally landed in a larger room, brighter than the previous ones. Joel calls Ellie and James not to take another step, he puts his ear to the door, several noises come out.

- « Infected ? » Ellie asked, watching Joel. She recognized his look, which was not a good sign.

- « Yes, they seem numerous. » He said with troubled voice. Joel doesn't want to lie to himself but he wasn't reassured by what awaited them on the other side. Ellie and James know how to fight, but that’s no reason to jump right into danger.

James seems determined to push through, holding his gun tight to him. « It's not a few infected people who are going to stop us. We are three, it will be easy for us to infiltrate through them and kill them one by one, discreetly. Don't let fear win over you. »

Joel drops a slight smile in the corner and straightens up after glancing at James. This character, this way of not giving up and continuing. Joel knows him only too well, his wife had exactly the same character. As for the stubborn side, he had inherited it from him, that was certain.

The group agrees to James' idea, Joel sneaks into the room first, he infects the nearest, quickly and quietly. Ellie and James take turns getting rid of an infected person. The group moves quietly but calmly towards their exit door.

Two clickers stand in front of the door. James throws an object away from them, it lures them out of the doors. It works, but it had to be done quickly.

Clickers react to noise and quickly run towards it. Joel, Ellie and James take the opportunity to pass the door quietly, they succeed. A very narrow passage appears in front of them, they don't think another minute and squeeze through. Joel kept moving forward, Ellie follows him and James stays behind the group.

- « It’s very narrow here, I hope we don’t run into an infected person in this passage. » James doesn’t like narrow places, he’s not claustrophobic but he’s not really excited to be there.

- « Let's walk quietly without rushing. » Joel does not take his eyes off the path in front of him, for the moment nothing to report. It passes under a pipe and continues to move without looking back.

- « Relax, it's just a bad time has passed and- » Ellie does the same thing as Joel and she goes under that pipe too. She grabs it until it falls. A strange noise accompanied by a tremor seems to advance dangerously towards the group. The wall collapses and Ellie is taken by a Colossus.

- « Ellie ! » Joel and James react to the situation at the same time. « James! with me ! » Joel quickly teams up with his rifle and directly attacks the infected. « I’m here ! » James joins Joel with a rifle in his hand. Together, they draw the colossus in a different direction from Ellie.

- « Come on ! Come on, son of a bitch ! » Jacques does not look away from the Colossus, it is the first time he has seen one, but he is absolutely not afraid, on the contrary he smiles in fear.

- « Joel ! James ! » Ellie barely got up after the Colossus' attack. Grabbing a molotov cocktail from her bag and lighting it with a brick. « Step away ! » Ellie warned Joel and James, and then she started without hesitation.

This doesn't seem to weaken the creature, it still keeps moving forward and destroying everything in its path. The colossus changes direction after receiving the molotov cocktail in the face, he is now heading towards Ellie.

- « James shoot him ! » Joel ordered James, shooting the creature in the back. The bullets did next to nothing to him, but they served as a diversion and knocked the creature out of its mind.

- « What do you think I've been doing for a while ?! » James raises his voice while continuing to fire, the colossus does not seem to change direction.

The colossus quickly arrives at Ellie despite its weight and throws itself on her to grab her by the face. Ellie drops her weapon and tries to fight with all her might in front of the colossus.

- « You’re gonna let her go, motherfucker ! » Joel throws his gun on the ground and grabs his machete quickly by getting his bag. His hunches that something was gonna happen today were good, and there was no way Joel was gonna lose Ellie here. Not now, not after all these trips and ups and downs. The trip wasn’t going to end there.

James watches Joel run without thinking about the colossus. He also throws his rifle and grabs his machete. « Joel ! I'm right behind you ! We can get her, we won't let Ellie die here ! »

The two men run as fast as they can towards the creature, they throw themselves violently on the body. It is after many violent blows that Joel and James manage to overcome this monster. Ellie, who has seen the whole scene, looks at the boys with wide eyes. She doesn't want to admit it, but the three of them make a great team.

James, out of breath from the fight, steps forward and reaches out to Ellie to help her up. « Everything's good ? » He asked, slightly out of breath from the fight.

- « Yes, thank you both. Thank you. » Ellie takes James's hand and pushes into his legs to get up. For a moment, the gaze of the young teenager focuses on the body of the monster, her hands are still shaking.

- « We almost stayed there. » Joel groaned as he wiped his machete against the fabric of his pants to remove the remaining blood. « Thank you for your help, James. »

- « It's true, but we got him, that bastard. » James puts his machete back in his waistband. Then passing a piece of his sweater against his face, he removes the blood of the colossus.

- « How are you holding up ? » Ellie asked, looking at Joel, still breathless from the fight, old age catching up with him. Many jokes came to her mind, but she preferred not to say anything after the event they had just experienced.

- « Other than old age, you mean ? No, nothing that will stand up to a good night's sleep. » He said with an amused look. His legs, his whole body call him to rest. But despite the pain, Joel was resilient in the face of it all.

Even if he didn't want to face the truth, he was getting old, which means that one day he won't be able to follow Ellie on her adventures and protect her from the dangers of this world.

After all, Marlene told her : « You can't keep her safe forever. No matter how hard you try, no matter how many people you kill, she's gonna grow, Joel. »

Joel knew she was right and yet he kept going, keeping hope. Ellie saved Joel, she gave him back that hope he thought he’d lost after losing his children and his wife.

Ellie became his light through the darkness of this broken world.

- « I can't wait to get out of here. » Ellie walks past the boys and tries to get out of this dark place.

James straightens his hair and puts his bag back on his shoulders. « Now we have to find another exit. I think we are all in agreement to defer this research to a later date. »

- « I think at the end of this corridor we will find an exit. » Joel remains puzzled as he walks past Ellie to make sure there is no danger.

Ellie doesn't have to ask questions, through Joel's behavior she knows she has to stay behind him alongside James. What annoys him the most is that he still takes her as a child when she is now a teenager.

It's to protect her that Joel has this behavior, Ellie is special, different. For him, losing her would be the worst thing that could happen to him.

Joel walks down the hall with his mask still on his face. « There must be something behind it. James, please help me. » He pushes the group of stacked chairs, James joins him in seconds and they manage to clear the hallway entrance.

- « What do you do ? What if there are other infected people behind ? » Said Ellie watching Joel get rid of what was blocking his way to the other room. The young teenager had had her dose of infected for the day.

- « Don't worry, Ellie, and if there are two Colossals behind us, I know I can count on you and James to put them down. » He concluded after gently pushing open the door.

- « There are no more spores in this room. You can take off your masks. » Joel takes off his mask and breathes in a moment to rediscover clean air.

- « Yeah, but that doesn't mean we're out of danger. I'll keep going through the few places here. Maybe I'll find our guitar strings. » James keeps his mask on his face as he rushes more and more towards the other rooms and moves away from Joel and Ellie.

- « James wait- » Joel didn't have time to say anything, he had already left to inspect the other rooms. Even if James seemed valiant, it doesn’t mean he was invinsible. - « Well, we're going to the door that's open. There. » Joel comes to the door and watches for a brief moment. Clearly he can't pass, Ellie can pass. « Do you think you can get in there ? »

- « Yeah, I think I can do it. » Joel steps aside and makes way for Ellie. The young teenager stands through the door and passes without any problem on the other side.

- « See what's blocking ? »

- « Yeah. » Ellie pushes the furniture blocking the door and lets Joel in. « OK, you can come in. » Ellie comes into the room first, a body on her back, an old corpse apparently. She decides to get closer to it to be able to analyze it further.

- « Ellie ! » An infected person appears out of nowhere from the ground towards Ellie. Joel puts his foot on his arm, the creature stops and Joel shoots him right in the head. Joel sighed for a moment and tucked his gun into his pants.

- « Thank you, Joel. »

- « Be more careful next time. »

- « Joel. »

- « Hmm ? »

A symbol is present on the body bag that Ellie saw first. It’s definitely Jackson’s symbol, J. I think it’s them. This is one of the couples who ran away last year. « That’s what Tommy told us at dinner.  The list was long and very few had been found. »

Joel looks at Ellie for a moment and looks at the corpse in question. He walks around and kneels beside the corpse. Silence reigns, reflection forms deep inside Joel. « I think you're right. »

Ellie turns to her right, her eyes seem drawn to something, especially a letter on the table. Ellie picks it up and starts reading it. « Jackson is a wonderful place, but we couldn't stand the stories of people suffering everywhere else. We wanted to save lives. We wanted to do something good. Just after we left, we came across a horde. We were bitten. We decided to end it rather than become monsters. Tell our family and friends that we are sorry. Adam and Sydney. »

Ellie finishes the sentence and turns the letter over, another message is written. « I killed her. But I can't finish. I'm just a coward. Adam. »

- « Damn it. » Joel comes over slightly to scratch his beard, frustrated and upset at what he just heard.

Why was this world so violent ? Why do people who try every time to do good deeds always fall first ? Joel had no answers to his questions, just silence in his head.

- « They weren't immune. » She said in a dry and direct tone. Ellie was clumsily trying to get a message across to Joel. Deep down, she knew the truth and the lies.

After a long silence in the room, Joel lightly scratches his throat and avoids eye contact with Ellie. « Yes, we have to… We have to get James, and we'll get their bodies back to Jackson. » Joel finishes his sentence and finds his back to Ellie.

Ellie feels that he is avoiding her gaze, hiding something from her, the truth. She decides to go straight to the point. « When you got me out of the Firefly hospital, you told me there were dozens of people like me. »

Joel turns around after Ellie makes a remark about him. He finds himself facing her now. « Yes. That's what they told me. »

Joel knew that at some point he would have to answer Ellie's questions about it. But now was not the time, not now.

- « I don't know anyone else who is immune. How about you ? » Ellie stared at him. She could sense in his answers that something didn't ring true, and she wanted him to tell her the real truth with all his heart.

During the tense discussion between Joel and Ellie. James came back from his research on the other pieces, he found nothing extraordinary. Not wanting to interfere in the discussion, he preferred to remain silent and stand against the wall to listen to what they have to say.

- « Maybe they hide them. Like you. » James didn't want to believe what he had just heard. He was not alone, the only one immune. Ellie was too, were others like them? Hard to say, as Joel says, this kind of secret should stay hidden.

Ellie looks at the letter one last time and drops it on the table looking at Joel with a determined look in his eyes. « Do you really believe that ? »

- « Do you really think it's time to discuss this ? » Joel approaches Ellie without taking his eyes off her.

- « We traveled.. across the country to get me to Fireflies. I had a million questions for them. Why did you pull me out before I even woke up ?! »

- « Because I let them do their tests, and when I saw it wasn't working, I got us out of there. »

- « How do you know it didn't work ?! » Ellie raises her voice, rage boiling inside her. « Maybe if you had given them time, they would have found something-... »

- « Ellie ! » Joel also raised his voice. He cut into Ellie's words. He didn't want to appear hurtful, he wanted to keep her close to him.

- « They couldn't find a solution. There's nothing could've saved these people, or anybody else. I know you wanted it to be different and I wanted it to be different too. But it's like that. »

It was wrong, it sounds so wrong. Joel knew full well that Ellie wanted to sacrifice herself to become the cure and maybe save the world.

But in his eyes it was impossible, he couldn't lose someone like her again, his hope, his daughter, his world.

After a few words, there was a moment of silence around them. « We need to bring these two children back to their families. Do you have anything to add ? »

- « No. »

After looking at Ellie one last time, Joel sees a shadow approaching the door to the room where he is. « James ! Is that you ? » He had his hand on his holster, ready to fire.

James acts as if nothing has happened and quietly arrives at the door. He sees two corpses on the ground, and now he understands the shot that was fired earlier. « I understand better, so it was you. Are you all right ? » He approaches them, putting away his weapon.

- « Yes, it's fine, don't worry. The two bodies you see are Jackson youths who fled last year. I'm going to need your help getting them to the horses. »

- « Yes, of course, you can count on me. » James looks at Ellie, she looks frozen. James puts his hand on her shoulder trying to get a reaction out of her. « Ellie ? »

Ellie turns back to him and smiles slightly at James. She gently pulls her hand out of her shoulder and moves away from the boys to reach the outside. Joel’s answers clearly didn’t satisfy her.

James turned to Joel to figure out what was going on, he closed his eyes. The questions are then useless and James understood by the look of Joel. The boys do not waste more time, recover and carry as they can the bodies of the two teenagers.

What a sad story, wanting to save lives, they paid the price with theirs.

After installing the bodies on the horses, the group decides to give up for the music store, Joel will take care of it alone. Ellie and James didn't add anything once he decided that.

The return to Jackson was much calmer and more tense than the start. Here they are at the gates of the city, they open a few minutes later.

- « I'm going to see Antoine and Dina to tell them about our day. Wish your mother James a good recovery. Good evening to you both. » Her horse trots away and Ellie leaves the boys in silence. She didn’t look up to Joel, she was still running away from him, even after a few hours after the argument.

James saw Ellie leave, he could understand that the discussion between her and Joel had hit him hard. There were reasons, things Joel had to do to put her in this state, but what ? Then he turns to Joel. « Do you want to see how my mother is doing ? Don't worry about Ellie, she can see her later in the week, whatever. »

Joel takes a deep breath and straightens his posture. He couldn't blame Ellie for reacting like that, for running away. He deserves it, lying is not a good thing and that's where it leads. But he was doing this to protect her, to keep her with him. « Yes, if you don't mind. »

- « No, she hasn't seen anyone today. I think she'll be happy to have some company. »

- « Let's leave the horses here, someone from reception will take them back to their box. Let's continue on foot. » Joel dismounts and puts his foot on the ground. On the saddle are his weapons, he has just taken his bag.

- « I leave like you I imagine, my weapons. » Instructions are clear, no weapons in town. James also leaves his weapons, he already has his bag on his back.

- « I'm with you now. » Joel puts on his bag and readjusts his jacket.

His mind was fighting between two walls, Ellie and her family. For now, he should accept that Ellie probably won't talk to him for a few days, which is normal. Joel will wait without rushing her.

Joel glanced at James, he remained particularly quiet. He knew, he wasn't stupid, he saw with his own eyes that something was wrong with him and Ellie.

James won't ask what happened unless Joel starts the conversation. After all, they were still strangers to each other, they didn't have to reveal everything overnight. There were limits and rules to follow, the two men knew perfectly well which ones.

Although to James, Joel was a stranger. For Joel, it was the opposite. He managed to see how his son had evolved into an adult in this broken world.

He would like from the bottom of his heart to tell him so many things that go through his head, like the fact that he is proud of him, of the man he has become. Although it was only a few hours with him, Joel was a happy and proud man.

After a few minutes of walking in the streets of Jackson, the two men arrive at their destination. James walks past, approaches the front door, and takes the keys from his jacket pocket.

Even though his mother was inside, James decided to close after leaving. Not that he didn't trust his mother, but she was clearly in no condition to defend herself if someone broke into the house.

Even in Jackson, danger was never far away. For James, no place was safe. It was therefore necessary to be prepared for any eventuality.

- « Close the door behind you, please. » James takes off his jacket and hangs it on the coat rack near the entrance.

Joel comes right behind him and goes home, he closes the door behind him. « Can I hang my coat here ? » Joel mentions the coat rack with his eyes.

- « Yes, of course, go ahead. » James takes off his boots and puts them on the corner of the couch. « I'll make us some food, my mom is upstairs. If she or you need anything just let me know. » He leaves the living room and walks into the kitchen, leaving Joel alone at the entrance.

Joel also takes off his shoes, he puts them next to his jacket. The behavior that James had. Even though Joel didn't know his age, he seemed so mature for his age. Some teenagers in this town should take their cue.

Joel leaves for the stairs, he manages to reach the floor of the bedrooms. It was so quiet, until he heard a faint cough coming from the open door down the hall. « This must be his room. »

Exhausted Y/N pays no attention to Joel's arrival. Breathing heavily, her face covered in sweat, muscle aches and headaches, she shifted slightly in bed keeping her eyes closed.

A wooden chair sits at the end of the room. Joel sees her and gently pulls her to the Y/N bed to sit next to it. Trying to make as little noise as possible through the move. He could see on the nightstand that she had managed to take her medication and something to eat.

The young mother looks exhausted from the fever, Joel couldn't help but stare at her. He couldn't lie to himself, see her like this. It hurt him even more, he couldn't do anything to help her get better.

Unless, of course, he accepts the truth and stops putting up barriers.

He could : stay in bed with her, support her to put her in a more comfortable position, kiss her to hope that her kisses will bring her a minimum of sweetness and well-being.

Even if being in contact with her made him sick, it didn’t matter to him. She was his wife after all, they shared everything.

Y/N barely opens her eyes a few minutes later, she sees Joel next to her, by her side, sitting on a chair. « Sorry, I'm not in the best shape to host… » Y/N stops talking after feeling Joel's hand on his shoulder.

- « You don't need to apologize, James told us what happened to you. Now save your strength. » Joel rests his hand on the young mother's shoulder.

There they were, like two idiots, acting like they were nothing to each other. His wife was there, before his eyes, close to him, so close. He could kiss her and tell her how much he missed her all those years. But Joel didn't do anything, he just stood there and looked at her.

They were playing a game, a dangerous game that will eventually fall on them.

Y/N, exhausted by fever, lets Joel do it. She lets out a slight sigh of relief. Despite her difficulty in moving, the young mother draws on her last strength to adjust her position in the blankets. « Thank you so much, you and Ellie, for bringing my son home. »

« Our son. » Joel needed to say it so badly that the words were scrambling to get out.

The choice had already been made for some time, he shouldn't say anything, to protect them. Protected by whom ? Of what ? From him. For Joel, he felt he was unable to keep his family safe and that it was best that the situation remained that way.

Joel gently takes his hand off Y/N's shoulder and puts it on his knee for support. A slight smile appears on his face. « You don't have to thank us, Y/N. At Jackson, we are all family. So we have to take care of each other. »

Her gaze wanders to an object strapped to Joel's wrist, a watch appears behind his shirt sleeve. There was no doubt that the watch Joel wore on his wrist was the one she gave on her birthday. Even if worn out over time, she could recognize it in thousands.

Joel had the watch, Y/N the ring. Everyone had an object that allowed them to keep a link between them, in some way.

Joel puts his hands on his legs to help himself up from the chair. « I'm not going to bother you anymore and let you rest. It was good to see you, Y/N. » Before leaving, Joel is going to do something he will regret later, but his heart was telling him to do.

He leaned very gently towards Y/N's face, more precisely towards his forehead. He then gently placed his lips against it. It was light, fast, but the gesture was there. It was like a message to the young mother.

After that, Joel says nothing. He rose from his position and quickly turned from Y/N. He is about to leave the room when suddenly he feels something touching the skin of his hand.

Y/N understood his message, his gesture said a lot. "Forgive me, darling." He didn't say anything to her, but this gesture meant his words.

She couldn't blame him because she was also in the same position as him, running away from the truth and remaining in the current situation.

Why choose difficulty when ease is easier to choose ?

- « Thanks for stopping by, Joel. »

- « You don't have to thank me. » He concludes by leaving the room and walking down the stairs. He had to fight himself not to look at her before he left. It was stronger than him, but he couldn't, he shouldn't.

Joel walks over and takes his shoes and his jacket from the coat rack, he puts them on. James still seems busy preparing dinner, he hasn't seen Joel coming down the stairs. He hesitates but chooses not to tell James he's leaving. Silent in the shadows, he opens the door and leaves the house with a slight regret.

Distance was nothing, it's when distance is needed that love shines brightest. The emptiness of absence made them stronger, to keep hope alive. Even though Joel and Y/N were broken inside for many years, their hearts were still bound forever, even beyond death. Nothing could extinguish this flame, their feelings, their love.

As much as the other, thinking that acting like nothing was happening, staying aloof and acting like they were just strangers was the solution. On the contrary, it brought them closer, despite their efforts.

They hate being separated, like their body or their heart.

~*.♪。★*・゜・＊♪*.♪。★*・゜・＊♪*.♪°~

Tag : @wolfieellsworld @rosemirrors @dorck26 @dizzyforyou

If you want to be marked on my future stories, let me know in the comments. Thank you again for reading ! 😊

[alterrune]

Shadow Lily: You really thought it would be THAT Easy?

Albert: Something’s wrong, I can’t-

(Albert is cut off)

Shadow Lily: I’ll make the experience even… more painful. I’ll make you experience the worst of your traumas, your worst memories… I’ll throw you into the pit of despair, you’ll regret not taking this seriously.

Albert: I… can’t keep this… connection for long… Shadow Lily is going to make you all face your worst failures, fears, and trauma… I-

(Albert is cut off now, for good)

Shadow Lily: Enough…

(Shadow Lily transforms into her monstrous form, with multiple eyes forming around her body… she can see everything now.)

Shadow Lily: I hate to break it to you all…

(Everyone blinks, and suddenly, they’re not in the reception room anymore… they never even walked there… Shadow Lily deceived them with an illusion, they’re now in the hallways again)

Shadow Lily: You all went in one massive loop… this is the outcome you get. I’ll take matters into my own hands… Time For Your Medicine.

Defeat Shadow Lily

* This is a fight of cat and mouse, anything that Shadow Lily throws at you will terrify or put you to despair at no end. Because of her nature in this form, she cannot take any damage and will chase you all around.

* Shadow Lily will force each of you to face your trauma, fears, and failures. You must face these on your own, If you manage to overcome your fears, trauma, and failures, you will be able to fight her properly.

* Shadow Lily will create multiple hallucinations to throw you off guard, stay vigilant.

(Yeah...this fight already has gone to shit. Everyone, even Teddie and Morgana are absolutely fucking terrified and are reliving horrible memories.)

NO! STOP! STOP SHOOTING MY DAD!

(Alter is reliving his father, Clarence Cross, dying at the hands of the Wall.)

DAMN YOU, INSTITUTE FOR IDIOTS AND IMPRISONMENT!!!

(Violet is living through a twisted fantasy of what would've happened had she not left Citrus [Clarker] and Pinker [Parkson] behind at the Center for Chaos & Containment [but we call it the Institute for Idiots and Imprisonment, or III, for short])

NO, STOP IT DMITRI!

WE'VE SUFFERED ENOUGH!

(Henry and Ellie are both living through the torture they endured when they were imprisoned by the Wall staff back before I had joined the adventure.)

(As for me...well, I'm...I'm...)

OH, FUCK THE NARRATION! JUST STOP SHOWING ME MY GRANDPA AND MY STEP-GRANDPA DYING OVER AND OVER AGAIN!!!

[...]

[INITATING TEMPORARY NARRATOR ROLE MOVE...]

[SUCCESSFULLY MOVED NARRATOR ROLE TO "LILY_BURNWAY"]

(Ah, there we go. Sorry, but if Kyle's not gonna do it, then I will.)

(Anyways, Morgana is reliving being turned to dust by Yaldabaoth, and Teddie is reliving Nanako's death.)

(And I'm pretty sure you know what my brother Laurence is being forced to relive.)

No...Lily...don't leave! I'm sorry! I'M SORRY!!! I DIDN'T MEAN ANYTHING TO HAPPEN TO YOU!!!

(Yeah. My original "death". Poor guy. But anyways, I believe this has gone on for long enough.)

ENOUGH!!!

(After I shout, I suddenly bring out a shockwave that seems to bring everyone back to reality.)

(Including Kyle. Glad, you're back, man. You can have the narrator seat back, I just had to do it since you were...well, y'know.)

[MOVED NARRATOR ROLE BACK TO SYSTEM ADMINISTRATOR "KYLE GIBBONS"]

(Hey, I'm glad someone decided to do it while I was under your shadow's spell, Lily. Thanks for the assist. I owe you one.)

(Shadow Lily suddenly looks at Lily in shock. She tries to use her powers again, but suddenly they don't work anymore!)

You realize what I've had to go through, right? You should know, you're a part of me. Here's something you should know, Shadow me. Your powers don't work on me because we're the same goddamn person. We were in a hospital bed for all that time. We saw Laurence shoot us accidentally. WE DIED AND CAME BACK AS KYNN LEE. WE ARE ONE AND THE GODDAMN SAME, YOU FUCKING PSYCHOPATH!!!

Oh really? And how do you expect to be able to...

(Suddenly, out of fucking nowhere, Lily grabs Leadhead, Vi's heavy-duty sword, and gives Shadow Lily a HUGE gash. Suddenly, all the illusions that were preventing us from beating up Shadow Lily dissappear. We run over to see what looks like Lily having just killed her Shadow Self.)

Lily...you do realize that if she dies, you die, right?

Relax, Laurence. She's still alive.

(Lily lightly kicks her shadow in the head, and Shadow Lily winces in pain.)

Why...? Why would you do this to me?

Because the pain of a wound like that never goes away. It scars both mentally and physically. I still have both kinds of scars from Laurence's misfire at me.

But...why are you letting me live?

You damn well know why. We already died once. It's not a pleasant experience, is it?

What do you gain from this?

Teaching you a valuable lesson, Shadow me. If you get hurt real bad, you can't simply ignore it. You LEARN from it. ADAPT from it. You treat it like a battle scar and fucking SHOW IT OFF.

You don't hide your pain. You make sure someone knows it so they can help. And in my case, the people I've shared my pains with are Aaron/Adam, Laurence, and the CSB. And they listen and give genuine advice. I get help from my friends.

You can't do it alone all the damn time. It's how I ended up dead. I never told anyone about the shady dealings behind the scenes and paid the price.

I believe we know what's about to come out of our mouth now.

"I am thou, thou art I", right?

Correct. Allow us to get ourselves and our friends outside before we be tamed.

(Shadow Lily teleports us outside of the hospital to prevent the place from collapsing and trapping us inside from the maze-like structuring of the place. She then magically heals the wound Lily gave her.)

We thank ourselves for the lesson. We shall remember it well.

(With a blinding flash of blue light, Shadow Lily turns into Lily's persona...Asterius!)

(Suddenly, we're all teleported into a blue limosine. A strange-looking old man and a blue-clad woman both greet us from the back seat.)

Igor! Margaret! So glad to see you two again!

Wait...why are we in the Velvet Room? And cut out the whole "dream and reality, mind and matter" shpiel, we're on the clock here.

Whoa whoa WHOA. What the fuck do you mean, "for the moment"? We're done here, right?

Alter. You know as well as I do that our work is NEVER over.

Yeah. The Midnight Channel is still active, after all. And besides, the shadows may have ceased for now, but there's always next time.

(The car slowly comes to a halt, as the limo's passenger doors open to what seems to be a portal leading out to the very place we first entered from: right outside the TV.)

This must be our stop. Thanks for the help, Teddie and Morgana!

(We exit the limo and head back to reality.)

-🔺💜🔵💕✍🏼-

(Back in reality, everything is finally back to normal.)

Ugh, FINALLY. Now we can take some well-deserved time off.

Uh, Alter? What about Operation: Twilight Gate? Remember? The whole thing with Terence Suave?

NOT NOW, VI. All that time in the Midnight Channel has left me all kinds of tired.

Could you guys keep it down, please...?

(We all turn to see Lily lying down in her bed. The way she sounds is like she's suffering from a massive headache.)

Awakening Asterius like that really drained me, and the shouting isn't helping things at all. Could you guys please stop being so loud? Thank you.

Sure thing, Lily. Sorry about the noise, I'll try to whisper like this whenever we're around you, just so your headache doesn't get worse. I hope you make a speedy recovery.

Knowing me, I probably will. Also, before you all go, I just wanted to say that I appreciated all of your help, you guys. Thank you.

(We all head back to my room in the GEOGRAM base.)

Okay, so, as I was saying. I think we should take a breather before we do anything involving Twilight Gate again. I'm all adventured out.

You know what, Alter? That's fair. I'm pooped.

Me too.

Same here.

Ditto.

(I look at everyone's expressions. Yeah, I think Alter actually has a point here.)

You know what, you're right, Alter. The only reason why I'm not feeling tired is because of that damn insomnia problem I'm suffering from. I'm gonna take some of the sleeping pills Dr. V prescribed for me so I can take a nap. Everyone, great job with all of this. I'm glad we finally finished it.

(As everyone leaves and heads back to their respective rooms in the GEOGRAM base, I pour a glass of apple juice, bring it to my bedside, take the pills with the apple juice and drift off to a well-deserved and long-overdue sleep.)

SHADOW LILY: DEFEATED

🎇ALL SHADOWS TAKEN DOWN!!!🎆

[tetsunabouquet]

Heir To The Lands Chapter 46

Masterpost Darkness Spreads

As Jeroen recovered, Livvy helped him stand. "I am sorry your sister is dead too." She said, sympathically. "Ellie was such a sweet girl. I'll never forget about that time she smuggled an injured rabbit into the Institute." Jeroen gave the saddest, dry smile Livvy had seen in years. "She and Tavi loved animals, you know? Ellie was so jealous when Tavi was gifted that cat of hers for her 14th birthday. I promised myself, the first thing I would do when we'd make peace with the world outside of Idris was to get her a puppy." "You're a good older brother." Livvy said, seeing the same love and care in his eyes that reminded her of Julian. "Thank you. You're a good sibling too. It must be hard, not being able to interact with your sister." Jeroen looked into Livvy's eyes and she couldn't quite describe the way it made her feel but she decided to walk towards the Accords Hall to distract herself from it. Jeroen followed after her, glad to be able to escape his helplessness and do something useful. If their hearts had been beating, they would be pounding as they neared the building. If they could smell, then the stench of death would have been crawling into their nostrils. The blood that hadn't entirely been washed away yet gave the floor an almost metallic pink sheen as they went on their way to the room where the corpses where being kept, wondering who else aside from the Boomkikker family had died. Livvy hoped Zara was dead. As they approached the door, Jeroen took a deep breath as he got ready to face his own decaying dead body. The two stepped into the room, and both gasped at the sight. At least twenty dead bodies had been stored. The battle had been far greater then they had expected, and a true massacre. Livvy could recognize Jeroen's corpse in one of the corners and was thankful neither of them could smell the decaying stench. What horrified Livvy the most, was the sight of not one, but two corpses of young children. There was a boy who couldn't be older then 10, with his messy curls undoubtedly having been adorable when he was alive. The girl's corpse was undoubtedly Ellie's. She had the same mouth as Jeroen and her brown hair had been cut into a bob. Jeroen looked more distraught at the sight of her corpse then his own, his eyes glued on her little body. Livvy was about to say something, when she noticed a particular corpse and she quickly started pulling onto Jeroen's ghostly sleeve. "Look! Zara is dead!" Jeroen's gaze quickly shifted to see the dead body Livvy was staring at, and noticed Zara. Her body was littered with wounds and her head was awkwardly hanging against her shoulder as her throat had suffered a tremedous blow that left her nearly headless. "Now that's deserved." Jeroen stated, the sight somewhat cheering him up. He wasn't a hateful person, but on his tiny list of people he hated, Zara was definitely on the top of it. "Absolutely. Who do you think is in charge now?" Livvy questioned, her heart equally filled with a dark glee. "Manuel, probably. I don't see that weasel's corpse anywhere." Livvy chuckled at that, thinking he was right on the nose. Just as she wanted to ask him if he wanted to go back or if he wanted to investigate what Manuel might be up to, they felt a very strange, dark sensation. A sensation Livvy that reminded Livvy awfully of Faerie. Jeroen whipped his head into the direction of the door. "What was that?" He asked and Livvy swallowed. "I don't know, but it reminds me awfully of the presence of the Princes of Hell." "The Princes of Hell?! In Idris?!" Jeroen asked, flabbergasted. It should be impossible, but then again, if Sebastian could bring down the wards, who was to say it couldn't be done again? Livvy took a deep breath. "Let's go back, we should alert everyone immediately." Jeroen nodded, and the two ghosts faded back to Dimmet Tarn.

[akuaya-eng]

(Main story) Chapter 3 - Episode 10

- LONELY BATTLE -

Claude

"Another calamity will occur"…

(thinking) I still vividly remember the Red Moon Calamity. If a calamity of that scale happens again…

----------

Claude

Damn it…! The curse is spreading more than I expected…

Soldiers

Ugh… ahhhh!!

Claude

Retreat for now! Don't touch the curse!

Curse's Voice

Help… help… me…

Soldiers

But… there are citizens asking for help…

Claude

… It's too late. They are no longer alive. If we get too close, we will be consumed by the curse too.

Soldiers

It's… it's all over! We're all going to die, consumed by the curse…!

Claude

Don't panic! In this situation, unarmed civilians are more terrified than we are. As soldiers of the Empire, we must be their hope…! There must still be survivors. Search carefully and with utmost caution.

Soldiers

Y-yes!

Claude

(thinking) I said that to the soldiers, but… what a horrible sight. A peaceful village turned into a sea of curses so easily. How many more villages are like this? Is this… a calamity?

----------

Claude

(thinking) We must prevent such a disaster from happening again. Now that we have this much information, we can't ignore it. If the higher-ups won't act, we'll have to do something ourselves…

... or seek help from outside the country.

Oscar

(knocks) Hey, Captain? Are you there?

Eric

Oscar, it's the middle of the night. Keep it down…

Claude

Yes, come in.

Eric

(opens the door) Did you call for us, Captain?

Claude

You two have completed a difficult mission. First, I want to commend you for your efforts.

Oscar

A commendation alone isn't enough. We deserve hazard pay for this one.

Claude

I see. I'll consider it.

Oscar

That means you have no intention of paying us. It's tough being the lieutenant, right, Eric?

Eric

………

Oscar

… Hey, Eric. Don't look so down.

Eric

Sorry, that's not my intention…

Oscar

The captain told me. I was able to see the results of your special training.

Eric

It was nothing special. It's what I should be able to do.

Oscar

I know. You can do even better. So, let's train again.

Eric

Yes. Please.

Claude

…Anyway. I know you're both tired, but we need to discuss our next mission.

Oscar

Huh, the next one already? That's too much.

Claude

It's that urgent. This isn't just about us, but the entire Empire… no, the whole world is in danger.

Eric

! Do you mean--

Claude

Yes, it's about the signs of a calamity. We can't wait for orders from above anymore. Now that we have no information from Espada, we must investigate this on our own, even if it means acting independently.

Eric

I knew it…! So let's start the investigation immediately!

Oscar

Well, this is indeed a serious issue. But if we don't get a break, we'll collapse.

Claude

If we don't act, a calamity will surely occur. You know how terrifying that would be, Oscar.

Oscar

… Yeah. If a calamity happens, we won't be able to enjoy food or drink. Alright, Captain, let's do this.

Eric

I'll give it my all too, Captain.

Claude

Thank you. Now, let's take a look at all the current information about the calamity. Please compile it as a document by tonight.

Oscar & Eric

Yes, sir! (both leave)

Claude

Phew… it's going to be a long night. Ugh…! (audible heartbeats) Another seizure…! Damn it…! Ugh… aaahh!! (falls) Huff… huff… I can't lose to this curse…! I will find a way. I'll free myself… and Ellie from this suffering…

[celestie0]

Im the college gojo anon again (actually fuck it I'm 🪷anon from now on because I love bombarding your mentions and I'll be present to spam your asks each time you post something) and I feel bad now bec I just saw the anon didn't mean it as hate but it was actually something cute😭 4 jjk writers I follow whose works I loveee had been getting crap ton of anon hate for some time on my timeline so I assumed it was yet another case.

I'm sorry for reading it wrong anon no. 2 you are not suffering from absent father syndrome I need to check into a psych ward asap🧍🏻‍♀️ this is an olive branch from me🫂

Also I feel like we anons need to congregate at your home or something because everyone has such wrinkly brains and cute headcanons and you're the worst (and I mean this sweetly) enabler 😭 don't feed my delusions you do not know what demonic creature you've called forth with this magic. But thank you for indulging us every time we run to you with some thoughts, that must take a significant amount of time and attention!! You're so sweet ily ofc I'll be your #1 inbox warrior😙

hahaa hiii bb omg thats a cute emoji you chose 🥺💕 is that a lily pad? also YAAAY SO HAPPY AB THAT I LOVE SEEIN UR ASKS <333

n awww thats ok tbh idk if the second anon was the same anon lol n also my initial reaction to the first ask was def mixed and/or thought it was a teensy bit hostile too bahha 🤣 you’re too sweet for immediately wanting to come to my defense though 😭💕

OMD I’d LOVE THAT SM A LIL ANON TEA PARTY 😩 BUT YOURE SO RIGHT OMG the asks ive been getting recently are so good im like damn i hope you guys plan to start writing fanfics someday bc i’d eat that shit up haha w the ideas n reflections yall are spittin in my inbox pls

i am unfortunately indeed a delusion enabler 😞 we cannot escape that darkness here. but i will 100% hear u out always n hit ya back w the same delusional energy 😍 LOL

aaa ofc bb i just genuinely love interacting w everyone so its just a lot of fun 🥺💕 you’re so sweet n i love u too <33

imma match your lily pad w a frog ehhe

- ellie 🐸

i rly hope thats a lily pad cuz if not then this is embarrassing

[doctors-journal]

20 November

Justin called today while I was sleeping off last night’s shift. I fumbled for my phone ready for an emergency.

My grogginess must have come through despite my urgency, because the first thing Justin said was, “Oops, sorry, Solomon, you were sleeping?”

“Was. What is it?”

“I had the day off from rehearsals, since they’re running scenes in the first act when I’m only ein Kind. I found this missing person case, and I think I might know where to find her, but I’m afraid she might be in a pretty bad state, so I was wondering if you might come along like old times.”

I was already awake and becoming more so by the minute. He could call for an ambulance, but if someone needed urgent medical attention, it would be best if I was there myself, and his enthusiasm was infectious.

“No Moriarty involved, I promise,” Justin added encouragingly.

“I’ll be there.”

I grabbed the kit I keep at home and met Justin at our old flat—he’s been gradually moving back in and we’ve talked about the possibility of me joining him when he’s ready.

While we were on the bus to our destination, Justin explained, “Her name is Anna Lee. She hasn’t been missing long enough to call the police, but she left a friend’s place last night after having a few drinks and never made it home.”

“If she’s hurt, wouldn’t she have ended up at a hospital?”

“No such luck, unfortunately, and I think I know why.”

I saw what Justin meant as we stepped off the bus at the entrance to a pleasant little wooded park. If not for our purpose, it would have been a nice place for a stroll, with the sunlight streaming through the colourful autumn leaves.

“The path to her flat from the station goes straight through here.” Justin motioned to a path that ran along a little stream.

As we walked along the path, Justin kept to the edge near the stream, peering through the trees. The strip of woods between the path and the stream gradually dropped off, until it would have been quite a fall down the short, steep slope.

Justin suddenly gave a shout. Just below where he was standing, there was a woman lying half in the stream. Even from above, I could see that her leg was at an unnatural angle.

“Call an ambulance,” I told Justin. “I’m going to do what I can.”

I skidded down the slope to tend to Ms. Lee. She was conscious, but half delirious from pain and exposure. Her tibia was badly fractured and she had suffered several other minor lacerations from her fall down the bank of the stream, and she was suffering from dehydration besides. Her phone lay cracked in the water.

By the time I had examined her wounds, Justin had finished calling for an ambulance and joined me at the edge of the stream. “They’re on their way. Is there anything I can do?”

“Good. I need a couple of long straight sticks. I’m going to splint her leg, so that the techs on the ambulance can move her. Even with a gurney, it’s not going to be easy on this slope.”

“On it.” Justin hurried off.

 Meanwhile, I crouched down next to Ms. Lee and got the necessaries out of my kit. I looked her in the eye. “We’re going to get you out of here. It’s going to hurt, but you’ll be okay.”

I gingerly manoeuvred her leg out of the water and into a natural position and cleaned what injuries I could. Then, I took the sticks from Justin and positioned them along her leg.

“Hold these steady,” I said.

I moved Justin’s hands into the right places, and then I took out a roll of gauze from my kit and wrapped it around her leg until it was secure.

“You’ll get a real cast at the hospital, but this should hold until then.”

“Thank you,” she said hoarsely. “Ellie must be worried sick. How long have I been here?”

“Based on your condition, not more than 12 hours.”

“Your friend said you left around three last night, and it’s only morning now,” Justin said, “but your partner would be relieved to hear from you.” Justin offered Ms. Lee his phone.

Justin and I sat on the slope while Ms. Lee tearfully talked with her partner.

“Thank you for coming,” Justin said to me. “All I could’ve done alone is wait for the ambulance.”

I bumped my shoulder against his. “We make a good team.”

Justin’s face lit up and he couldn’t contain a grin. “We do, don’t we?”

What could I do but kiss him to the swelling sound of approaching sirens.