#sorry but what the fuck kind of joke just showed on my dash

[whataperfectwasteoftime]

The Rift - Chapter Three

Pairing: Marcus Moreno x Marcus Acacius x Marcus Pike x f!Reader

Rating: Chapter is T, overall fic is E (18+ only, explicit smut)

Word Count: 2.3k

Warnings: Bad Latin, language barriers, lots of yearning, Marcus Acacius is Very Hot and no one knows what to do about it

Summary: Marcus Pike shows up at your door in the middle of the night with a very broad man in Roman armor in tow. Armed with only your Classical studies education and a Latin-English dictionary, you do your best to help.

A/N: Okay, we've got three of the four members of this grammatically insane polycule in the same space! Only one more to go! I wonder how a certain Leader of the Heroics is doing.... Just a reminder, to keep everyone sane, the POV character is called out by name at the beginning of each POV switch.

Masterlist | Chapter Two | Next chapter>>

(You)

At around the same time that the leader of the Heroics was impatiently waiting for his coffee maker to finish brewing, you’re startled awake by loud, forceful knocking on your door. 

Going from ‘asleep’ to ‘instant dread’ in the span of two seconds makes your body feel like it’s short-circuiting. You tumble out of bed, grabbing the nearest object to potentially use as a weapon. You examine your choice–Stephen King’s The Stand, and shrug internally. I mean, if any book could be a blunt weapon… 

With your fingers white-knuckled around the thick spine, you peer carefully through the peephole to find–

“Marcus!?”

You yank open the door to find the Special Agent of your dreams standing on your welcome mat. “What the hell? Do you have any idea what time–”

“It was an emergency,” the Agent says quickly, holding up his hands in supplication. “I’m so sorry. I didn’t know who else to call.” The dread returns to the pit of your chest. “Marcus, oh God, are you okay? What happened? What’s wrong?”

“It’s not me, it’s um. Well, let me show you.” He grimaces, then pushes someone else out from behind the corner and into view. 

It’s a man–a very large man. A large, broad man wearing a dress. No, wait. That’s not a dress, that's…

“Marcus,” you say carefully. “Why is there a man dressed in Roman armor on my doorstep.

“Marcus,” the man repeats, and slaps his chest. 

“Yes, that’s right,” the Agent says tiredly, as though he’s gone through this several times in the past hour. “This is Marcus. He’s from the Rift. I... kind of almost hit him with my car.”

“Car,” the Roman says, nodding seriously. He looks you up and down in a way that makes heat creep to your cheeks, and says something in a language that you don’t understand, but seems oddly familiar.

“Oh my God,” you murmur to yourself. “He speaks Latin.”

“I’m kind of at a loss,” Marcus, your Marcus says with a tired sigh. “I don’t know whether to call someone at Heroics, HQ, or… I dunno. I mean, who the fuck do you call when you have… a Roman?”

“Hang on.” You hold up a finger and dash over to your office, which is really just a tiny room off of the living room filled to the brim with shelves and shelves of books, with a tiny desk squeezed in between.

“You should get rid of your old college textbooks,” you say to yourself in a mocking tone. “How many times are you going to move house, and you still have all these books taking up space? Well, the joke’s on you, Linda, because I’ve got a Roman Centurion in my kitchen and the man of my dreams showed up at my door at three in the morning because he needs my help and this is my moment, dammit.” Your finger finally lands on the text you were looking for–a dog-eared copy of Oxford’s Latin-English Dictionary with a broken spine and part of the front matter missing. On a whim, you grab the first book next to it, Ovid’s Metamorphoses in the original Latin, and race back to Marcus and… other Marcus. 

“Salve,” you begin, and the Roman’s eyes snap to yours. 

Marcus Pike grins as though you’ve hung the stars.

Flipping through the pages frantically, you manage to string together your first sentence.

“You… are… safe… with… us.”

You hope you conjugated the verb correctly. 

The Roman murmurs something back, speaking slowly and deliberately, understanding that this is very much not your native tongue. He repeats it twice, until your face dawns with understanding. 

“Where am I?”

“Jesus, can we start with an easier one?” you chuckle to yourself. After some quick thinking, you manage to explain to Roman Marcus that he is in a different country, very far away from the world he knows.

The man shakes his head. “Quam?” he murmurs to no one in particular. 

That’s a tough one, too. You have no idea how to explain black holes and time rifts in Latin. 

You make a face, putting your hands up and shrugging your shoulders in an exaggerated pantomime of, “I don’t know.”

The man nods slowly. You feel awful for him, really. Stranger in a strange land. He must be terrified.

“Famelicus,” he says. 

You don’t know that one. You flip through the pages to find the F’s. 

“Famelicus,” he repeats, pointing to his stomach. “Panis?”

“Oh shit, yeah,” you whisper. “Of course you’re hungry.” You turn to the cupboard that serves as your pantry and search for something he’d recognize. You pull out half of a baguette and hold it up hesitantly. The man rips it from your grasp almost comically and begins to tear pieces off of it with his teeth, devouring the bread with gusto. 

“This is surreal,” Pike murmurs under his breath. 

When the Roman finishes eating, he seems almost as interested in the clear plastic wrapping than in the bread itself. He stares at it, brow furrowed with a deep frown of concentration as he crinkles the plastic over and over again in his fist. 

“I hate to ask, but can we… can we crash here until morning when I can think straight and figure out what the hell to do with this guy?” Marcus asks, looking pained. 

“Yeah, ‘course,” you reassure him. “I’ll help you. We’ll get him back to where he needs to go, or... find the person who can. In the morning.”

“In the morning,” Marcus nods, smiling gratefully. 

Turning to the Roman again, you say haltingly, “Somnus. Nox. Somnus?” Sleep. Night. 

The Roman also looks relieved at the prospect of sleep. 

“Uh, cubile,” you say, gesturing at the couch and indicating he can use it as a bed. You’re about to go rummage in your linen closet for a spare blanket and maybe a pillow, but Marcus the Roman strides confidently over to the couch, lies down, and is snoring within seconds. 

“Woah,” you remark, laughing to yourself. “Shit, Marcus, I only have the one couch…”

“I’ll take the recliner,” he says quickly, pointing to the battered, second-hand Lazy Boy in the corner of your living room. “Listen,” he swallows thickly, looking up at you with those deep brown eyes that make you melt in any situation, much less in the middle of the night in your dark living room. “Thank you. I didn’t know where else to go, and you–Well, if anyone can speak a dead language conversationally, it would be you.” His voice is soft and earnest, and you want to tell him anything at all, Marcus, anything for you but you force yourself to bite your tongue.

“It’s no problem,” you assure him. “Honestly. I mean, talk about a Classicists dream, right? When do you ever get to use the stuff you learned in graduate school in the real world?”

Marcus chuckles softly. “Go get some sleep. We’ll tackle Mount Olympus in the morning, yeah?”

“That’s Greek, not Roman,” you snort.

He winks at you, and you will your knees not to buckle. “Whatever,” he teases playfully. 

“‘Night,” you say, hoping you don’t sound too breathless. Without waiting for a reply, you retreat to your bedroom before you can make a fool of yourself even further.

“‘Night,” Marcus returns softly, and when you turn to close the door, he’s still looking at you. 

(Pike)

Marcus awakens to the comforting sound of someone puttering quietly around the kitchen. He opens his eyes to see you–what a beautiful sight–reaching up on your tiptoes to take three mugs from the cupboard. The other Marcus is awake too, sitting at the kitchen table and watching your task with curiosity.

When he stirs from the recliner, you smile in greeting. “I made coffee,” you offer brightly. 

“Sainted being,” Marcus groans tiredly as he gets up from the chair, his joints creaking and protesting as he stands. 

“Cah-fee,” the Roman repeats as you pour the steaming liquid into three cups. 

“I don’t think you’re gonna like it,” you say with a chuckle as he reaches for one of the mugs. “It’s hot. Calidus. Be careful.”

“Care-fool,” the man nods seriously, and Marcus can’t help but smile at the bizarre domesticity of the scene. 

He sips cautiously, makes a face, and lets out a string of Latin that Marcus takes to understand that he didn’t like the coffee.

You snort. “I told you. How about, ah, milk?” You flip through your dictionary. “Lac? Lacte?” You take the quart out of your fridge and hold it up.

“Lac. Mil-k?” 

“Yes!” you squeal excitedly, spinning around to grab another cup. Before you can turn around, however, the Roman has managed to open the carton of milk himself and begins chugging from it. 

At your shocked expression when you turn back around, Marcus can’t help but let out a loud laugh. The other man stares at him questioningly, and he gestures to the cup. “The cup.”

“Cup,” the man repeats, and laughs too. 

“I’m gonna make some eggs,” you announce. “He should like that, you think?”

Marcus shrugs. “I don’t see why not.”

You hold up an egg for the man’s inspection. “Uh, ovum?” you ask.

His face brightens. “Sic, ovum,” he agrees. He stands and inspects the carton thoughtfully. “Quid est?” 

“Ovum,” you answer again, not understanding the question. 

“No.” The Roman picks one up carefully and points to himself. “Ovum,” he says patiently, then points to you.

Oh. Marcus grins. “I think he wants to know the word in English.”

“Egg,” you tell him. 

“Egg,” he repeats. The word seems to strike him as funny, because he repeats it several times, chuckling as he does. 

Now that understanding has been made, ‘Quid est?’ seems to be the man’s new favorite question. He repeats it over and over as you make breakfast, getting in your way in the process and generally causing chaos throughout the small apartment. Marcus tries his best to run interference, answering all of his questions to the best of his ability. Thankfully, he seems to stick to objects that are familiar to him–a pillow, chair, fork–rather than ask Marcus about the microwave, or, god forbid, his cell phone. He repeats every English word thoughtfully, in a thick accent and rumbling voice that he can’t help but find attractive. 

“Hey, you don’t think anyone else saw our friend here last night and said anything?” you say suddenly while the three of you sit around your kitchen table eating the eggs. 

Somehow, the thought hadn’t even crossed Marcus’s mind. “Shit, I dunno,” he admits.

“I’m gonna check the news.” you grab the remote off of the coffee table and switch on the TV. 

The noise and pictures emanating from the screen immediately cause Marcus to spit curses in Latin. He tries to rise from his chair in alarm, but you place your hand on his forearm and repeat several words in Latin softly and reassuringly, and the man calms. 

The local news is, as it has been since its arrival, fixated on the Rift. Everything seems as expected–normal seems to be the wrong word–until Marcus realizes what the anchor is saying. 

“ –was successfully closed around six am this morning. Joining us now is Marcus Moreno, leader of the Heroics, to give us an update on the situation.”

“What do they mean, ‘Closed?’” you ask with a frown. 

“Shh,” Marcus says. 

“Mr. Moreno, representatives from your team are saying that the portal is now closed, is this correct?” the anchor asks. 

“That’s right. The um… the security risk was too great, and we don’t really know what that kind of rip in the fabric of uh, you know, space and time, is capable of. Our team of physicists have been working on a solution day and night and I’m happy to announce that the Rift has disappeared completely and Pennsylvania Avenue should be reopening in the next few days as cleanup begins.”

“Is there any chance of it opening again?” the anchor asks. 

Marcus Moreno looks uncomfortable. “Listen, the… the math around this isn’t my strong suit, but my understanding is that these kinds of things–rifts in space and time–can only happen when an exponential amount of energy is released, so barring another supervillain somewhere out there with the same Black Hole bomb, there shouldn’t be any more Rifts opening in the nation’s capital anytime soon. Uh, thanks.”

“He’s always so stiff in interviews,” you comment. “You think he’s uncomfortable with the limelight, or what?”

“Are you being serious right now?” Marcus shakes his head in disbelief. “The portal is closed. The Rift is gone. And our friend here is trapped on the wrong side.”

“Oh, shit,” you breathe. “Oh, fuck. Marcus… what do we do?”

“I’m gonna go to Heroics HQ,” Marcus announces. “To talk to Moreno one-on-one and try to keep this situation quiet. He’s a good guy, he’ll use discretion.” “You know Marcus Moreno?”

“How is that your takeaw–nevermind. I mean, I don’t know him, but I’ve definitely come across him in professional settings in the past. Why?”

“He’s–” you laugh nervously. “It’s silly. I always kind of had a crush on him. Childhood celebrity crush, you know how it is.”

“Oh. Right.” Is it hot in here? Did someone raise the temperature in this room? Marcus can’t explain why the prospect of you finding the leader of the Heroics attractive eats at him so much, but the next thing that you say nearly makes him swallow his tongue.

“Actually, you resemble him a lot,” you comment nonchalantly. “You’ve got the same pretty brown eyes.”

The other Marcus chooses this moment to hold up his empty plate and ask, earnestly, “Egg?”

[angeliqueiguess]

“Focus!” (j.jh)

015. contract? warnings: swearing, kind of short (srry in advance, studying gives me writers block)

Friday was dragging on, and for Y/n, every second felt like torture. She walked through the hallways of the building with Ten, venting her frustrations. ''Seriously, I run into him everywhere'' said Y/n, tossing him a knowing look.

''You’ve gotta stop giving it so much importance. How many times have I told you that? You still haven’t learned, have you?''

''Yeah, yeah, I know...'' Y/n groaned. ''But every time he walks past me, he huffs like I'm bothering him just by existing. And, I swear, it makes me wanna spin his head like in The Exorcist.'' She said it so deadpan that Ten burst out laughing.

''Sorry! It’s just... you said it with such a straight face, I couldn’t help it.''

''Alright, enough'' she muttered, rolling her eyes ''I just don’t get why he’s wandering around the building all the time. The only thing he needs to do is show up for the photos and leave. That’s literally it.''

They kept walking until they reached their office. Y/n stopped and turned to Ten. ''Oh, and remember, Ash is coming in...'' she checked her watch. ''In about two hours. We need everything set up by then so we can go over the plan, mkay?''

''Yes, ma’am.'' Ten straightened up with an exaggerated salute, making her snicker. She reached for the doorknob, but the door wouldn’t budge.

''Ugh, this fucking lock! I swear it’s out to get me'' she grumbled, twisting and pulling the handle to no avail ''No... not again.''

After a bit of struggling, the door finally clicked open.

''Okay, seriously, I need to get this shit fixed...'' she muttered with a half-smile. But before she could say anything else, a familiar voice cut through the moment.

''Yeah, you should fix it. Don’t you think?'' Y/n froze on the spot. Standing right in front of her was Jaehyun, calm as ever. He looked at her briefly, then added, almost casually: ''And, by the way... in case you didn’t know, Im kinda sealing a deal with your brother, that's why im roaming aroung as you say.''

Without waiting for a response, Jaehyun turned and walked off, leaving Y/n and Ten standing there, too stunned to speak. After a beat, Ten turned to her ''Girl... we’re so fucked.''

Ten opened the door and found Y/n looking at him with eager anticipation. She hurried inside.

''Come on, spill the tea!'' Y/n said, grabbing Ten by the shoulders and lowering her voice since there were staff members wandering around.

''I overheard Ash and Jaehyun talking'' he paused, and Y/n raised an eyebrow ''Ash was laughing about something Jaehyun said, and it was loud enough that I thought everyone in the building would hear'' Ten continued, waving to a passing staff member.

''And then what?'' Y/n asked, clearly interested.

''Then Jaehyun hugged her, like, by the shoulders and whispered something in her ear, but I couldn’t catch it'' Ten said, mimicking the scene, which made Y/n frown. ''And that was it.''

''Seriously, Ten, if you were sent to rob a house, you’d probably knock on the door first'' Y/n joked, smacking her forehead in mock frustration.

''What do you want me to do? I can’t just creep around and spy on them!'' Ten protested, but before Y/n could respond, someone called out.

''Hey! Y/n, how have you been? Long time, no see!'' It was Ash, who rushed over and pulled Y/n into a tight hug. Y/n felt a bit awkward at Ash's enthusiastic greeting because she was really calm and collected, y/n hugged her back, stealing a glance at Ten, who looked just as baffled. Ash pulled away and grabbed Y/n’s hands. ''I’m so excited to work with you again!'' she exclaimed, and without waiting for a reply, turned and dashed off, leaving Y/n with a mix of confusion and amusement.

''What the fuck'' mouthed Y/n looking at Ten who had the same confused expression.

---

prev//next masterlist.

Angie's note: sorry in advance for this shitty chapter (my brain is fried from studying) hope you liked it and dw, i'll update again in a few hours <3 love u! don't forget to take care of yourselves and drink tons of water <3<3

Taglist: @apolloxxivmin @milanco @sibwol @neocupidd @minkyuncutie @miniature-tragedy @tenjyucat @aerivrs @chan-yeoldelling @cryingforjae @kukkurookkoo @kodasity @injunnie-lemon @thegracerammy @livingdoll-hara

[skztea]

˚₊· ͟͟͞͞➳❥ prompt 15 | SKZ members reaction when you prank them — accidentally purposely texting him “he’s gone…you can come over now 😍💦”

✦ bang chan ੈ✩‧₊˚

He will literally give that “did i hear it wrongly” face. Taking some time to set his mind right, he relooked at the message again. “It wasn’t deleted though,” he muttered to himself while pressing the telephone on the top right corner - “baby, what is going on?” leaving the waiting room, his brows furrowed when he heard silence from you. His heart has never palpitated this hard before, not even when he performed infront of tons of people. “…It’s a prank! Baby don’t get alarmed, i was just trying to do a tiktok challenge!” You laughed at him while hearing him letting out a deep sigh, proceeding to lecture you softly and telling you to not do this to him again. (He can’t take it if you actually dump him though)🥲🥲

✦ minho ੈ✩‧₊˚

“Why is he not replying?” Tapping on the table impatiently, your mind started to go wild as you glanced at your phone. Your boyfriend has seen your message but have yet to reply, after 2 hours. You were so ready to dash out of the lecture room but if not for your almost failing attendence, you had to glue your butt to the chair until the lecture ends. The moment the clock strikes 2.30pm, you swept all your items into your tote bag and planned to rush to the other faculty. “Oh my-“ a strong hand wrapped around your waist and pulled you into a corner down the corridor. “Say it again,” the extremely familiar voice rings, with his breath fanning against the tip of your ears. “Say, say what?” “The message,” his voice lowered an octave, gripping you tighter. “Oh…It was just a tiktok challenge Min… i just wanted to see your reaction,” you finally met his icy cold gaze, slowly melting down as he dip his face into the crook of your neck. “Hajima…”

✦ changbin ੈ✩‧₊˚

“Are you fucking around with me right now?” You avoided his burning gaze that was on you for the past 5 minutes. You prayed that the ground will swallow you up as the other students walking by the alley were judging you and your mad boyfriend, pining you against the wall. “No-no…” your cheeks started to heat up and tears touring around the brim of your eyes, you regretted throwing the stupid tiktok challenge at him in the morning. “It was just a prank…please dont be angry anymore,” you lightly tugged the end of his leather jacket, where his free palm gently pulled your head to lean against his toned shoulders. He lightly carassed the back of your head, cooing you as if he wasn’t angry moments before.

✦ hyunjin ੈ✩‧₊˚

“Why are you sulking hyunjin?” Chan walked over to the strangely silent member who has been quietly scribbling in one corner while the rest were chit chatting. He raised his head to look at Chan, pouting as he showed him the text message you have sent 1 hour ago. “Oh…i don’t think y/n is that kind of person though, she’s probably just joking with you, why don’t you give a call?” He patted his shoulders, while Hyunjin contemplated to click on that telephone icon. As he was about to press on it, you called him. “Hey baby?” “Yea…?” He placed his pencil down, ready to welcome any bad news from you, if you were to declare them. “Baby, it was just a tiktok challenge, i was just pranking you, are you okay? Im sorry if i hurted you, i guessed you must be emo, hence i called you,” your comforting tone has broken his defence, while he wiped his tears off and adjust his voice to sound normal. “Baby, thanks for calling me, my heart was about to shatter when you sent that, i thought i lost you…”

✦ jisung ੈ✩‧₊˚

Jisung felt like a thunder just striked infront of his eyes. He dramatically looked up and down between the screen and the wall infront of him, confused by what you meant. “Im going over, i want to see who is that fucking guy,” he frantically punched in the phrase, slipped on his slippers and ran to your house. Before you could even react, you heard the doorbell rang. “Who?! who the fuck is that guy?! Where is he? GET THE FUCK OUTTT” He dashed into your house as if he was there to murder someone while you giggled behind his back. “YAH! NEO MICHEOSEO? It’s just a fucking joke you silly!” You gently whacked his back as he is still prying the different rooms and toilet of your house, finally sitting down on your couch when he finished his investigation. “Are you serious? You are really kidding me right?” Crossing his arms and pouting like Pocoyo, you ruffled his blonde hair and assured him.

✦ felix ੈ✩‧₊˚

Felix will scoff super loudly as he leaned back against the chair. He believed that none other than him, there is no other man that will enter your eyes and he is confident that it was a joke. On top of that, he has seen the Tiktok challenge before, hence he was unwavered by it. “Tiktok challenge?” He replied back to you. Busted. “Yah! Do you have to expose me right away?” You replied back with a sad face emoji beside, earning a deep laughter from him as the other boys looked at him. “What’s up lix?” Seungmin asked. “Naur, just my girlfriend being cute again.” The boys sighed and ignored the smirking friend who was awaiting for your reply to his tease.

✦ seungmin ੈ✩‧₊˚

“Is your brother coming over? Help me say hi to him,” his face was as cool as a cucumber. Knowing that you tried to prank him again, he also wanted to return you a favour. After seeing you seen his message and not replying, he knew that you were struggling on the other end to crack a reply. “Remember to buy his favourite cashew, he can use my PS5,” he continued to add on to his message, knowing that you are scratching your scalp now when your plan fell through. “What if he is someone else you don’t know?” You were too daring. “Then i must make friends with him so that he knows who is your boyfriend. Bring him over now.” After exerting dominance, he took over the ownership of the conversation. “Checkmate,” he thought as he imagined your little cute and annoyed face.

✦ jeongin ੈ✩‧₊˚

He will try to act normal after seeing the message and assume as a mistake that u havent sent to the wrong recipient. Still performing his daily tasks, he still can’t seem to get rid of the message you have sent. He thought that you will at least say a “sorry! It was a typo,” he wouldn’t got smashed by the basketball earlier. “Jeong! Are you okay?” Minho came over to ask about his swollen cheeks as he held onto his phone with the message displayed on screen, still not getting over it. “Urgh, im fine,” he dumped the towel one side as he decided to call u. “Hello?” “…babe! Please tell me that message was an error… please…” He immediately softened his tone while whining, earning giggled from you. “Jeongin-ah, i thought you always scroll Tiktok? It was a challenge! Paboyah!” You half jokingly scolded him while his lips started curving up again, skipping back to the bench and shared with you about how he got smashed by the ball.

-> It has been a reallly long time since i made a comeback haha, this prompt has been in my draft for over a year (whoever that requested this and i can’t find your request anymore) im so sorry TT a late compensation here, hope you are able to see it 🥲

@timenote-library

m.list.I | a.bout

© skztea — all rights reserved. No plagarising, editing, claiming as own without permission.

[scooter-ing]

another silly rant.. . but this time its NOT about wenclair??

jesus, i just rewatched little witch academia after YEARS, and the pure sapphic energy radiating from that show is craaaazy yo. (heed my spoiler warning for lwa)

yeah so.. diakko. kay. now that that's out of the way

i actually loved akko's character as a whole, as ambitious and stupid as she is, i can totally see some of myself in her. i never saw her as a selfish person, i feel like she always considered and appreciated those around her. every time she cried and demeaned herself (especially in the second half of the show) i was like "poor baby" bc she really didn't deserve it. sure, was she a tad bit impulsive? yeah. but her character is meant to be easily swayed and convinced. like how croix convinced her to go to the wagandea tree, and literally gaslighted her into thinking she shouldn't trust chariot (ursula). as a character though, she really, truly, just tries to help people and i think you rarely see characters that are as pure as that, you know? her dream is to make people happy, not some bullshit like being the strongest witch, or obtaining some kind of object. she just aspires to fill people's hearts with joy, and her intentions are set with that only. and she tries, and tries, and tries, despite people's discouragement. so every time she cried, i cried with her. sigh.

moving on to ursula, otherwise known as chariot. i loved her older sister-mentor role. akko definitely needed someone that would keep her in line, but also encourage her in her endeavors and keep her safe. my girl was ALWAYS there to save the day (and by gOD she was so fucking hot whenever she was fighting croix). ughhh i literally groaned out loud every time she got interrupted when she was trying to tell akko about her identity. idk, i kind of have mixed feelings about the dream fuel spirit shebang. cause, chariot had NO idea it was stopping people from being able to use magic, so it wasn't really her fault. croix manipulated her. and once she found out about that, she stopped using it. im glad croix had somewhat of a redemption, but jesus she was such an asshole when she revealed that ursula was chariot. like, a royal asshole. bc that was not her secret to reveal, you know? and she left some very important pointers on the table. though, i felt terrible for akko.

mmmm. diaaaaaaaaana. diana cavendish. i had a massive lesbian crush on her for the whole fucking series. oh my god. especially in the two-part episodes where it's set in the cavendish estate? so, so, chivalrous, and dashing, and royal... and skdjhfskjlhf (totally referencing that one scene where diana defends akko infront of aunt daryl and offers her arm for akko to hold). poor akko, oblivious to like... all of the massive lesbian signals wafting from diana. she literally had big neon signs that said "akko you fucking idiot im gay for you."

all jokes (and thirsting) aside, diana and akko's growth as a pair is really touching to me. diana was never outright rude to her bc of her inability to properly use magic, i saw that she was more judgmental of her character as a person instead. (e.g the samhain festival episode in which she calls akko pathetic for "leaving" lotte and sucy before her performance). and i can totally see that it was reasonable. later in the episode, after akko finds the second Word or whatever, she goes on to think, "what is this emotion i'm feeling?" as much as i would want it to, i wouldn't say she was in love at that time, considering her harsh judgment earlier in the episode, but akko continues to grow on her from then on. i haven't mentioned this yet, but the episode (sorry that i keep saying "that episode" the site that i watched it on didn't have episode names) in which the faeries ordered a strike against the witches, was actually less goofy and funny than it was made to be. akko really took time to understand where the workers were coming from, and being their representative was really thoughtful? when diana came to tell her off, she deadass started making fun of her bc shes an aristocrat. and telling her she doesn't understand the woes of the working class bc of her wealth. which is just... so... real? and diana gets all flustered, which leads me into the topic of:

Diana Literally Only Blushed Because of Akko. she just gets all flustered when akko calls her out on her shit, like she's not afraid of her. everyone else is. even the godforsaken teachers are. she only ever truly worried whenever akko was hurt, or in some form of danger. she completely remains indifferent to everything, even when things happen to hannah or barbara she really doesn't give a shit. (at least not in the way she does with akko, she's probably loyal to her friends and shows it in her own way). which segues me into the episode "yesterday," in which akko goes "missing" and jesus christ diana's dialogue with chariot is really touching. from "akko needs you more than anything right now!" to "what could possibly be more important that akko right now!?" and "i'm more disappointed in you than i am of your past." she's just so well spoken in the most disastrous and telling moments, and it really shows how strong of a character she is. she remains level headed when lotte and sucy consult her about akko, and kindly offers them tea, along with reassurances. despite her generally not hanging out with akko's crowd of people, she's still kind and considerate when people need her. her words to chariot/ursula are so powerful because she's depicted as so stoic and indifferent but completely tells her off when she knows what ursula is doing is wrong. i hope that makes sense? from an apathetic elitist to a passionate worrywart - all over akko. and once she finds her, she basically acts as her caretaker, in that moment. and i'd be lying if i said i didn't cry, because god. diana knew exactly how to make her feel better, and man is that not an indicator to how perfect akko and diana are for each other. her confessing that she felt envious of akko's determination and closeness to chariot, and confessed to wanting to get away from akko bc of it, but ended up just getting closer to her.

in the last episode, in which they stop the missile, i was just so happy to see where their growth led them. them holding each other while doing the shiny arc thingamajig? awesome. akko catching diana when she falls? diana screaming for akko when akko falls? which inevitably leads to her falling because she's crazy for akko? really hit me in the feels. undeniably happy. joy. the parallels between chariox and diakko are like, super obvious. except for the fact that diakko was the better example, in which they worked together instead of one envying the other for their power. like how diana initially said she envied akko for having the shiny rod, and croix getting jealous of chariot bc of it too - except diana learned to accept it and support akko and work with her. bc red and blue gays. ygm.

i'll talk about andrew and the rest of 'em later bc im fairly tired but. im sorry for the excessive tangent. i likely left out a lot of what i wanted to say bc big gay brainrot, and i'll spew that out sometime later.

thank u for listening to my ted talk stay gay!!

[vergess]

sorry if this is an odd ask to send out of nowhere but i thought your mlp post was really interesting! could you go further into detail about what you think the show does wrong in later seasons? you don't have to, i'm just curious since i really like the show and it's been one of my hyperfixations for a very long time & you have really interesting takes/meta on things in general

thank you for your time!! :3

It very much gets "less about girls" as it progresses. People's background friends/family are suddenly almost always male, for example, with Fluttershy getting a brother, Rainbow Dash's other school friends being male, her dad being more prominently played than her mom, things like that.

This isn't even a bad thing!

While I would argue, and have before, that a show almost exclusively about women is an important thing for the media landscape compared to the glut of All About Men shows?

The reality is that any artistic lens that focuses exclusively on a single gender is going to be worse for it, if for no reason other than where are the trans people.

A truly "gender neutral gaze" would be the ideal, but to be honest I don't even know what that might look like. I can at least conceptualize the female gaze out from existing, limited examples of female led production for a female audience.

But in terms of, IDK, a trans-led production for a genderqueer/neutral audience, I don't even know it that kind of thing exists. It must, because well, trans people are everywhere in the indie arts, but I have never seen it.

Certainly I've never seen it around a kid's show. And one of the things that makes kid media so easy to analyze is, the "allowed" topics are fairly limited. When sex is off the table, you can devote that time to deepening friendships. When men are off the table, you can spend that time deepening female characterization. etc etc.

So anyway, while I would say a female gaze is preferable to a male one in this male dominated society, both have their deep shortcomings. The way MLP handled male characters in S1 by either not having them, or having them be kind of the butt of the joke (Spike) isn't actually a good thing, just a very different one than is common. And there are plenty of ways that the show mistreated Spike particularly for Being A Boy that would make me hesitate to suggest season 1 to, say, trans masc viewers.

But then there are some ways that I can safely say later seasons are just worse.

The fat jokes, for example, were Not A Thing in S1 and as a fat viewer that was a huge relief at first, which became a sharp slap in the face as characters began making fun of heavy eating or using obese background ponies as gross out gags, etc.

On the other hand, the racism very much was present from the beginning, as evidenced by Over A Barrel's portrayal of native americans as literally another species. And that's before we get into the sheer racism of pony colonialism in the first place. Also Zecora the Zebra's... situation. Which was okay as a one off bit in S1, trying if not succeeding at the message of "different=/=bad."

But, like many of these early flaws, the later seasons magnify the problem, especially when the show tries to approach real world issues. Just off the top:

Zecora becomes the magical negro whose mystic knowledge transcends that of the pony gods.

Gryphons become antisemitic stereotypes, obsessed with cash hoarding and isolationism.

Yaks live in technologically inferior wastelands of Yakyakistan, where they are loud, rowdy, and even dangerous.

Dragons are... just... really fucking bad, like by nature, with rare "good ones" going to live among ponies to become civilized.

The fucking saddle arabians apparently just Not Having Perfomance Art and needing to be taught by Trixie.

The kirin being very literally silent to show how zen they are, needing Westerners to give them back their voices.

The sheer audacity to bring Little Strongheart back in the fucking finale and "assign" her as Applejack's token buffalo friend (not even RD???) after AJ and her family nearly wiped the buffalo out and fully never fucking apologized

There's definitely more. Basically every single non-pony species shown to be sapient ends up some kind of a racist mess. At least cows are just like... white people from wisconsin so there's less racism inherent to their depiction but even then...

There are also ways in which the attempts to cater to a male audience weaken the show's overall presentation. Ponies with adult men's human meme images as cutie marks started popping up, for example, which is again not a bad thing, but weakens the overall fantastical world building.

Likewise, the attempts to modernize the setting are... um. Let's go with uneven.

In S1 technology is firmly pre-industrial Euro-Fantasy. I'd put it around 1770-1800 in the human western world.

By S2 there is an electrical grid even in "small" towns like ponyville, something which in the human world didn't take place until about150 years later, with another 50 years to roll out things like video games, which also start appearing.

But only for ponies.

Never for the other species.

I get why they did that. It's a "have your cake and eat it too" scenario where they can keep the pre-industrial fantasy tech level sometimes, but use a modern tech level at other times. It opens up more storytelling options. And it's not like the magical horse universe needs to obey our physics and timelines.

But then why only ponies.

All that does is deepen the racial division between ponies and other species. Which the later seasons LOVe to do. Deepen racial divieds.

After all, in S1 most other species (cows, gryphons, etc) were shown to live in equestria too. But in later seasons, are revealed to live in cloistered ethnostates nominally self ruling but in practical terms subservient to the equestrian state if they want basic rights like the fucking sun.

Which acts to retcon Spike's hatching and adoption from something very heartwarming into something very horrific.

Honestly, the "male gaze" is not the issue I have with late seasons of MLPFIM. It very much comes down to "this show got SO fucking racist SO fucking fast what the FUCK."

And that probably would have happened with all female writers and directors, too, if they were mostly white.

This all makes me sound like I hate MLP, but I promise you, all of this criticism comes from a place of utmost love. This show is really, REALLY good. It is charming, beautifully animated, excellently directed, with passion poured into every aspect of the visuals, the audio, the stories, the characters...

That's what makes these constant missteps so painful to encounter.

Because the highs are so high!

I mean, the movie easily constitutes the best 2D animation out of the western world in DECADES and every track on the album is a banger, and that's just the movie. Cartoon movies aren't exactly noted for their stunning quality, but MLPFIM sure as fuck stuns.

And when the highs are that high, oh man, the lows look lower by comparison.

[angel-gone-dark]

He’s Got His Mother’s Hips - 2 [Cigarette Daydreams]

CWs: smoking, swearing, shamelessly inserting me and my fav mutual, lesbians. also kenny accidentally steals a lighter but that’s ok.

Leigh gnawed at his lower lip, tapping his pencil on the paper as he glanced at the clock. The morning had gone on awkward and choppy, an introduction in almost every class. He was just glad his mother had put his preferred name in the system. The bell rang and he shoved his shit in his bag, dashing off through the cafeteria and the back doors to be alone outside.

Except he wasn’t. He looked up at the blonde, who nodded at him politely. A cigarette hung from his lips, and he scratched at the scruff of his chin.

“Thought you didn’t smoke.”

“I don’t. Needed to get out of that stuffy ass school. I hate these people.” Kenny nodded at that.

“I get it. Can I bum your lighter again?” He felt a bit bad asking, but Leigh was happy to oblige, and tossed it to him.

“...What kind of cigs?” He wasn’t the best at small talk.

“Marlboro. Reds.” Kenny showed him the package. “Why?”

“Those smell the best. My dad used to smoke them all the time.”

“What happened? He quit?” Kenny lit his cigarette.

“...No, he died.” Kenny sputtered, almost dropping the lighter and choking on the smoke.

“Dude, bombshell.” He patted his chest with his fist.

“I know, sorry. I just haven’t had anyone to talk to about it.” Kenny ruffled the new guy’s hair. 

“‘S okay.” He cleared his throat and took a big drag off his cigarette. “I… that’s gotta be hard. I’m sorry.”

“It is, yeah. Not to mention my mother uprooted my life and dragged me here.”

“Maybe you need a cig.” He joked. Leigh smiled up at him.

They stayed like that until the scruffy guy finished. They walked right into the lunchroom together. 

“McCormick, what the hell have you done to him?” April glared, obviously joking. 

“Nothing!” He put his hands up in mock defense. 

“Good.” She slung her arm around Leigh, walking him over to the lunch line. “Boy, you smell like cigarettes. You smoke?”

“Nah, Kenny smoked next to me. I like the smell, though…” He nodded. “I’m sorry about it…”

“Nah, I’m used to it. Kenny smells like that all the time.”

“You two hang out a lot?” April shook her head. 

“Not much anymore, since I’ve been going out with Wendy.” Leigh looked shocked, and she laughed. “What? I know I don’t look queer but come on, that girl is everything.”

They got their lunch, thanking the cafeteria staff and sitting at a table. The temporary peace the two found was interrupted by the same five boys from the bus that morning. Leigh fell silent, his gaze trained on where he prodded at his food.

“Aw don’t act scared of me now.” Kenny teased, stealing a fry from Stan’s tray (to the latter’s dismay).

“Dude, he’s scared of all of us. At once.” Kyle snipped, shoving glasses up his nose. Leigh noted they were… a lot nicer than his own. 

“Buddy!” Butters chirped, plopping right across from Leigh. He would have sat next to him, but Kenny had stolen that spot first. 

“Oh great, now we’re sitting with the faggot and bimbo? Wonderful. My day can’t get any better.” Cartman sat down, too. 

“You don’t have to sit with us, fatass!” Kyle said through grit teeth. 

“Yeah, well, everybody else fucking sucks ass. You guys just suck the least right now.” He spoke no further, digging into his plate. 

“So Leigh,” Kyle started. “Where are you from?”

“N-New Hampshire.” He didn’t look up. 

“Oh, nice. What’s it like there?”

“Like Colorado but… more hills, I guess?”

“You don’t talk much, do you?” Stan raised a brow at him.

“No, not really.” He finally took a bite of his food. 

“Do you hate us?” Butters pouted a little. Leigh nearly choked on his salad. 

“No? Why on earth would I? Should I?” He gave April a concerned glance. She shrugged back at him. 

“No, no,” Kyle said, reading a textbook as he ate. “Except Cartman. You can hate him.”

Cartman exclaimed in protest, but the rest of the table filled with giggles. The conversation began to flow, and the new kid found himself listening and laughing along- especially to wacky stories from the boys��� childhood. He found April was the real star at the table, witty and funny. She also went to bat with Cartman just like Kyle did.

As everyone split for class, Leigh found a huge grin overtaking his face. He figured he could get used to it here. 

word count: 755

[theultimatemercenary69]

Sonic and Infinite are so fucking GRAUGHHHHHHHH I want. To study them in a lab. I don’t know how to convey the emotions I feel for this dog and hedgehog so please bare with me

Before I start my bs I just wanted to say this post actually goes out to @neurotypical-sonic and uh @beloved-user (and maybe a few other people but those were the only 2 that I saw had said anything at the time of writing this) because they wanted to see this content in the world so shoutout to them for giving me the courage to post about these cringe fail mobians (I am the sonic and infinite psychoanalysis anon btw)

there’s so much under the cut please be careful also please be nice it’s 2 am and I’m very emotionally fragile

The fact that sonic and infinite are 2 sides of the same coin yet also thematic foils to each other is just sending me over the deep end I can’t take it ARGHHHHHHH (I am willingly taking it)

You’re probably asking “what the actual fuck are you going on about dude” and to this I raise you all of this entire post (you’re gonna regret asking)

A few things before I start, this is obviously gonna be Forces bullshit because I Bear The Curse™️also I’m only gonna be talking about the English version of the game because sadly I have not been able to play or see the japanese dub yet, I’ll do that later though 

Also if there’s photos with shit quality, sorry, that’s on me

Ok autism activated let’s go

Let’s start with our obvious main man Sonic, the blue blur. I’m gonna start with something that irked a lot of people, and that is the fact that Sonic seemingly came out fine after being tortured for 6 months.

The thing is, he was absolutely not fine, at all, it was just so subtle that it was genuinely hard to tell, but once you notice, you continue to notice. The first thing you can see is that he is acting a lot more brutal I guess I could say??? 

I mean, look at the end of the Zavok fight, he beats the ever loving shit out of Zavok with his hands, not a few homing attack or spin dashes, his fucking hands, I don’t know how often that happens outside of games where the actual gimmick is hand to hand combat, but it seems pretty weird to me how he just keeps hitting Zavok and he just stares at him as he falls, panting and out of breath from how relentlessly he was attacking him

Second, he’s constantly talking about how he wants and will get revenge for what happened, he doesn’t let up that he’s going to get revenge, and I was actually kind of shocked when he started saying that I was kinda like “woah calm down buddy” (note, one of these screenshots is from the wiki because I couldn’t get the image from the game, also, these 2 are just from the cutscenes I could find, there’s so much more, this hog can hold so much malice and rage)

Third? Now this one is my favorite to talk about, because it really shows just how drastic Sonic and Infinite really are, the scene it occurs in is during the infinite fight with sonic and the avatar character, during the first stage where it’s just sonic

You may say “ok what’s special about the reskinned metal sonic fight?” sarcastically but this is a very important fact to me, and the fact is that Sonic just straight up implies to Infinite’s face that he’s gonna murder him!

 The line he says is played off as a kinda joke, but the way Sonic says it is so genuine that it’s a little bit disturbing, it’s a fridge horror kind of moment where you look at the line, maybe giggle, but after a quick google you realize just how fucked the line is because of the inclusion of one word, one single word.

The word being “Epitaph.” An Epitaph being the phrase or words written on someone’s tombstone in memory of them.

Now, you may know what line I’m referring to if you’re like me and reply that fight alot, but if you don’t know the line that’s fine, I’m gonna explain it either way because it’s very important to me!

So the fight starts and the first lines said are these;

Infinite: What would you like your epitaph to read? How about “Here lies the blue buffoon”?

Sonic: Why not “Here dozes the masked clown”? Might as well make it for the person who needs one, right?

I think you can see where I’m going with this point, let’s move on now to the other point I wanted to make, which is also kind of a major tone shift from the point above

This point ties in with the “2 sides of the same coin” bit, but the point I want to make is that Sonic needed companionship to win. (Take a drink of water every time I write the word “companionship” or anything similar starting now, see how hydrated you get)

He needed the avatar character to support him throughout that fight, he needed the avatar & classic to help him defeat the eggman and ruby as well, he needed companionship. 

This theme of him needing support and a companion is echoed through the very song that is the theme of forces, I am, of course, referring to Fistbump

AGGHHHH I LOVE FISTBUMP SO MUCH IT’S SO GOOD THEMATICALLY AND IT’S ALSO JUST A GOOD SONGi want you to know I’m snarling and biting and growling like a rabid animal but in a good way I’m sorry I just needed to say that real quick back to the point I was trying to make

Now, the first indication that Sonic needs companionship is that Fistbump is literally him “speaking” to the avatar character, the lyrics portray this perfectly, but I am going to stop myself before I go on a tangent about this song for too long, so next um dot point

The second indication he needs companionship using Fistbump is that it plays whenever he double boosts with the Avatar and during the level Null Space, the double boost is self explanatory, it’s them working together, they’re being friendly friends!

What people may not completely get is me bringing up Null Space, because, once again, there’s seemingly nothing special but there is. There is to me. In my heart. I love Null Space as well as the other stuff mentioned here because it ties into this insane bs I’m concocting for my viewing pleasure that just so happens to get to be on tumblr too!!

Null Space is a level where Infinite sends Sonic and, accidentally, the Avatar character to the level’s namesake, Null Space. Null Space is devoid of substance or life, it is the loneliest place you could ever be, but here Sonic and the Avatar are, the complete antithesis of such a concept, they are together, they are safe with each other, they are going to get out of there together.

And so they escape, and what is playing in the background as they do so? A version of Fistbump dedicated specifically to that level.

Before I can make the rest of my points, we have to talk about the elephant, er… jackal, in the room; Infinite.

Let’s start with a general thingy like we did with sonic, now, I’m not gonna go over his actions in game, they speak for themselves, I will, however, be talking about the implications of his actions; his morals, his values, all of that

First off let’s collectively discuss and by discuss I mean go ‘what the actual fuck is wrong with this dude’

It’s very clear that he’s just not a “good” person, he does morally frowned upon things like being a mercenary, of course, that’s one of the big ones, but the one that really fucks with me and makes me really wanna pick his brain is that despite Shadow being the one who hurt him, he immediately clicks to Sonic and the best way I can describe it is him going “i NEED to beat the ever loving shit out of that kid right now.”

Like, even during Episode Shadow, he still mentions Sonic with this personal malice that you don’t expect, stating that Sonic won’t be able to stop him, and it’s honestly just kind of weird tbh??? 

So he hates Sonic from the start, he gangs up on him, beats him to the point of unconsciousness, kidnaps him, is indirectly (at least) the cause of 6 months of torture, beats him again, tells him he’s not even worth killing, tries to kill him and the entire resistance by throwing the sun at them and then tries to kill him personally before Sonic can finally get the revenge he wanted.

So I’m sensing a lot of initially one-sided hostility between him and Sonic.

Another point is that his theme seems to be directed towards Sonic, it is mocking him, trying to tear down everything he establishes in Fistbump, stating that friendship will get you nowhere when you rely on it too much, asking who is going to save Sonic from Infinite when he is alone?

This is once again shown with how he interacts with Sonic, using Silver and Infinite’s little tussle as a comparison, yeah, Infinite throws an insult, but it’s as a collective, he says he’s happy to crush a hero to keep the “rabble” (the resistance) in line, but when Sonic appears it becomes very personal

He’s immediately on him, stating that Sonic is “back from the dead”, calling him the “little blue savior” and insisting he can smell Sonic’s fear, glad he’s left an impression, noting that Sonic is “still thrashing around”, in his own words.

He speaks to Sonic so personally, hell, he waits for Sonic to quit talking before tossing Sonic to another part of the jungle to fight him alone. He very well could have gotten rid of Silver and then dealt with Sonic, but he instead decides dealing with Sonic immediately is more important than Silver is. He even says that he will meet Sonic again after that fight.

he also threatens to smash Sonic into blue jelly. I just wanted to mention that because it’s funny that he specifically said he would smash him into BLUE JELLY

So it makes me wonder, what is this dude's issue??? Why is he so obsessed with Sonic? And then it kind of hit me. Sonic is the antithesis of everything he values and believes in, of course he’d be intrigued.

Or, alternatively, he’s intrigued because Sonic is just like him.

Yep, It’s the moment we’ve (me) all been waiting for! We’re finally discussing the “two sides of the same coin” point!

Sonic and Infinite are exact opposites but they are also the exact same! They both so desperately need support and companionship (I’ve covered Sonic’s need, but we can see how Infinite needs support and companionship with how he handles the loss of his squad), they both have the same kind of goal (change the world to be a place they would want to live in, good or bad), they’re both associated with the same people (Shadow and Robotnik)!

They are the exact same but they are exact opposites! They are each other’s foils but they complement each other so well, they are two sides of the same tarnished, damaged coin!

I LOVE SONIC FORCES SO MUCH WHY AM I LIKE THIS

Sonic and Infinite are what they could have been based on how they responded to their own struggles. Infinite could have very well been just like Sonic, dedicated to helping people because of what happened at Mystic Jungle, and Sonic could have very well been just like Infinite, lashing out and hurting everyone in his way because of any of the copious losses he’s been forced to deal with.

But they don’t, they become the person they are because of how they respond to their own struggles, trauma, losses and wins. And that’s the beauty of their characters. 

Sonic and Infinite are foils to each other, it’s a point you can’t argue, but the reason they are foils to each other is because they are the same in some weird, messed up way.

But I wanted to add one more thing before I finish this off.

Infinite very well left an Impression on Sonic. Like it or not, somehow, someway, Infinite’s concepts and ideals imprinted on Sonic and it made him and his own problems worse. So much worse.

I won’t go into too much about that because that links to other things outside of solely Forces, so yeah, tangent done. Thank you for listening

[youlikefanficdontyousquidward]

heyyy love. your writings always make me smile when I see them on my dash! so i have an idea for a little something… we all know quaritch hates the na’vi people so much. he probably feels some degree of discomfort and distaste of his body now that he looks like one of them. so a human reader who he befriended is out with him on a mission in the forest, and he makes a self degrading joke about an aspect of his new body while they are out there together. reader scolds quaritch for being negative, and miles tells her to stop bitching at him, so she shuts up and ‘shows’ him how perfect she thinks he is 😏

Eeeee! Yes! While i've been writing for lots of recoms atm I will always fall over myself to write Miles (´▽`ʃ��ƪ)

Recom!Quaritch x Human!Reader

The face in the mirror disgusted him. A nauseating mix of a face he'd been proud of and the most hated enemy. For every familiar corner there was an equally alien curve. There was just so little of him clinging to these bones.

His ears now tall and ever twitching, despite their clipping. His teeth sharp, making every charming smile a threat. He even had a fucking tail.

There was one shining light in his life. Someone that made it worth rising each morning, that he could think of in the dark of night to stave off the nightmares. Y/n. His human, his anchor. Not that he told them that, no he wouldn't talk about his silly little problems to anyone. He was a man after all and hadn't his old man beat that lesson into him.

Y/n was easy to love. Beyond being a face of humanity that still looked to him with respect and kindness. Y/n was fun, they were smart and they didn't take his shit. No despite his towering physique you'd jut your chin out, giving him the same back or worse.

"Keep up, we ain't out for a leisurely stroll darlin" He called over a shoulder. He smiled softly to himself, watching them struggle over a fallen branch.

"Some of our legs aren't two meters long!" you hollered back from atop the log. You beamed, hands on hips in triumph before slipping on the mossy bark. Your whoop was caught short, Miles' strong arms catching you before you fell. He smirked at your pouting face, gently placing you on the forest trail. Only his thrashing tail giving away the panic he'd felt.

"Sorry I ain't perfect sweet-cheeks, some of us are monsters." He jested, a dry chuckle passing his lips. Miles didn't know why he'd let that slip. He turned before he could catch your reaction, storming ahead. It was so hard to keep a wall around you. Inviting eyes always teasing out sides he didn't know he still had.

"Hey what big ears I have!" He started, an almost hysterical laugh following.

"What a horrid nose. What sharp teeth. All the better to scare you off." He babbled, god why couldn't he shut up. He bit his tongue, the slight taste of copper compelling his lips to cease their flapping. It was just a joke, you'd know that. You heard him laugh he wasn't being serious, Miles kept telling himself.

"Miles?" He heard you call behind him, trying to catch up. He kept moving. No, he was fine. He didn't need anyone, he was being stupid, he wasn't so superficial as to be bothered by his appearance. Hell he'd kept those scars all those years! But this was different wasn't it. He wasn't even human anymore. He was no better than those creatures he fought.

Miles grit his teeth, scrunched his brow to a frown. Anger, he could do anger. Get mad at the foul planet that stole his life, reduced him to this.

"Miles." Your voice was softer now, even through ragged breathes. Light grip on his tail, tugging him to stop, to face you. He stopped but he wouldn't turn. He couldn't. Not now when his eyes stung.

"Miles please." Your hands still held him. His anchor, holding him in place. Dragging him down into the depths of his pain, pulling him through the inky black to the heart of it. Then your touch was gone, spiraling through the currents alone. Pulled and pushed by the tidal whims, lost in the depths alone.

"Miles look at my. I swear I'll climb up there if I have to." His sun spoke, even in the depths the light cut through, brilliant beams illuminating the dark. He crouched to meet your gaze, to bring his face to yours.

In the shadows of his mind he imagined you recoiling. Retreating from his form, his own repulsion mirrored on your face. His eyes met yours, the glassy reflection of his tight features reflecting back. He was tensing his jaw, holding his eyes taught against the tears. Your own flowed freely, lip quivering.

He couldn't take it. The shapes so viscerally wrong, no your face should never pull like this. His fingers buzzed with the need to reach out, to clear away the tears or mold your features into that smile. The one that numbed everything he felt, that washed over him like a balm, soothing every pain.

It was your hands that moved, your fingers that reached his face. You held his cheeks between them, pressing them together. Your brow furrowed, mouth bobbling open and closed before you took a deep breath.

Your eyes met his and he froze. Struck, he'd become stone under Medusa's curse. Your fingers danced across the marble skin, following stripe or glittering freckle.

"No." you reprimanded. "No I won't have you talk like that" your voice wavered. Expression still stern, features pulled, shoulders squared. Authoritative. Miles couldn't help but laugh a little.

"No, I'm serious. Your not to talk about yourself like that. Not even think it." you ordered. Miles let the laugh turn sharp, who were you to stop him. You had no power over this, his pain wouldn't be ordered away by a tiny scientist. Not even if it was you.

"Oh yeah what you gonna do about it." He sneered. He rolled his eyes, looking to the ground. Miles didn't want to do this, he didn't want a cruel word to touch you. Especially not one from his mouth.

"Guess I'll have to show you then." You breathed out. Miles felt his heart stutter, the hot breath closer than before. "Show you how beautiful your are." you finished, lips brushing against his own.

His eyes snapped back, you were so close. Gentle hands followed the peaks and valleys of his face, gentle caressing like he was made of fine china. His ears fluttered and you smiled. Miles felt himself melting into your touch, his eyes drifting shut. Fingers brushed against the sensitive shell of his ears. Your thumb brushing up the length before following back across his cheek bones. The line drawn tenderly under his eyes, cascading down the sides of his nose.

His senses were so heightened, the touch of your hand electric and at once pacifying. He felt a soft velvet against the tip of his nose, the gentlest kiss. Miles half opened his eyes, looking through his lashes at your face. You didn't meet his gaze, still lovingly looking upon a face you adored. He felt his heart sore, lost somewhere in the stars only connected by the thread binding it to you.

The gentle pilgrimage resolved at the corner of his mouth. The final stop on your holy journey. Fingers tracing the outline of his lips, your own parting slightly. Then your eyelids came to rest and you met him.

Kiss like silk moving against him. Miles fired to life at the touch, the spell broken he moved. Hands tangling into your hair, to your cheeks, on their own journey across the curves of your body. His lips parting to let you search more, welcoming you to explore fangs, tongue, whatever you wished.

He drew humanity from you, though your skin, your lips, your soul. In this kiss he was at once recom and Quaritch. The man he was in this body being worshiped, at once a whole made from the two parts. Body and spirit burning with need, drawing out moans he couldn't claim as his or yours.

He followed your lips when you pulled back. Then dragged his forehead across you cheek to its resting place on your shoulder. The moment passed, his mind still reeling from the whiplash. His worst pain to his greatest bliss.

"Maybe I need to insult myself more often." He joked against your throat. You thrust back, face appalled.

"You will not!" You demanded, face scrunching again. He laughed softer, leaning an elbow on his knee, face held up by his hand.

"Promise I won't, if you'll do that again." He drawled, eyeing your lip tugged between your teeth. The hot blush still painting your cheeks.

"Fine it's a deal. Just next time we do it back at base." You affirmed, nodding your head before walking off. Miles rose following after you, wicked smirk pulling his lips over fangs.

"We're gonna do it huh?" He joked, laughing again as you squeaked and hurried ahead.

[edsbacktattoo]

ok i was kind of purposefully avoiding the details of the gravy basket theory because it's sounded so dumb but holy shit i really didn't know the extent of it. sorry in advance to be rambling in your inbox.

i thought if i wanted to talk about it i should read the post in full but honestly that was a struggle on its own. it just completely misunderstands the way the show uses ed experiencing purgatory as metaphor. like, the innkeeper does not show us this sort of wish fulfilling dream state at all, and ed externalizing his self hatred into the figment of hornigold is a simple, concise idea that the show specifically goes out of its way to make clear. episode 8 just doesn't have this. like, you'd have to make the argument that literally EVERY CHARACTER PRESENT IN THE EPISODE is somehow representative of an aspect of stede's psyche. it's not just a matter of him projecting his desires into a falsely constructed space, it's a matter of internal issues manifesting from the subconscious, which is what the show has established. it's particularly bizarre to me that they don't make any effort to argue what izzy is meant to represent in this theory, or what him dying could mean symbolically (which is. y'know. the point of the gravy basket as it's been explored). also there's just a complete disregard for ed's arc in the finale which is. eugh. come on.

and this is all still being generous in taking the idea of the "gravy basket" at face value. like, it feels a little ridiculous to even entertain the idea enough to try to argue it. i'm just so baffled.

(it did make me think about psychonauts to the point of wanting to replay it, so. i guess there's that.)

PRECISELY!!!!!!!!! don’t apologise for rambling in my inbox when you’re so correct my dear friend <3

i can’t believe that this theory has such a vice grip on some people. when it first appeared on my dash (and it did, not because a mutual reblogged it, but bc i follow the ofmd tag, and tumblr is evil and gave me the post bc it thought it was being helpful) i thought it was. a joke. i thought the op was having a laugh. but the more i read the more i started to worry. it takes a very distinct lack of media comprehension to come up with something like this.

now, i want to make it clear that i do feel for the people who enjoy izzy normally. like the folks who just like him because he’s interesting and fucked up and strange. the people that don’t woobify him, ya know? those guys are all right.

but the kind of devotion that leads to behaviour like this? threatening and belittling the writers of the show? calling ed violent and thinking he’s going to be an abuser to stede, the man he’s in love with? if you genuinely believe that then there is something seriously wrong with you, and i think you ought to look introspectively <3

also, as a side note, a large criticism i’ve seen for season 2 is poor writing (which is just not at all correct) but to make up for said “poor writing” the theories that people are whipping up are genuinely like. worse? imagine if they did the gravy basket thing again. gravy basket 2: electric boogaloo. that would be bad writing. that would be lazy!!

no, what they did instead was deliberate and careful and beautiful and hopeful. open ended and bittersweet. and yet. AND YET!!!! you get folks trying to cope so bad it makes them look stupid.

and this is all that i will say on the matter. tho, ive never played psychonauts and this might be the thing that makes me dive into that :)

[antimony-medusa]

As a tubbling, sorry for the extra neg thrown towards your streamer’s cubito. In case you weren’t aware, long story short, while the permadeath was out of nowhere for the streamers and their viewers, it’s been a long time coming for the tubblings and egg admins. Like we couldn’t make it angstier even if we tried kkkkkkkkk. And when we saw our cubito’s issues be overlooked and joked about again (obvious to tubbo viewers but not to anyone else because god forbid qtubbo communicates), even after his own death, we got so frustrated and lashed out at whoever was loudest and it happened to be phil. Which one makes sense for him to do since they’re literally close irl friends and two is also unfair to him because when he did realize the seriousness of it, he immediately went to help. So yeah honestly sorry again for that, hope what I said sorta makes sense and while it’s more likely to happen to qphil, it can and will happen to every character, tubbo included lmao. Can’t speak for everyone but I’ll try to chill out a bit 🤏 Who knew that the rarest thing on the qsmp would be emotional intelligence wow im so shocked 😮 (<-has watched phil and tubbo for years i am not shocked) KKKKKKK have a good day lol :D

Thank you for the message! :D

And yeah, I follow enough tubblings either here or on Ao3 that I was aware of what the tubbling perspective is in terms of Tubbo's issues being overlooked, once I thought about it. And like, that's part of the tragedy of tubbo isn't it, that he's has been setting up this angst where other streamers don't see it, but even when he does it where they CAN see it, they take it as bits, because that's how they view Tubbo and because at a certain point of sarcasm, saying "i'm having a terrible day and I kind of want to die" still gets read as a joke because you said it yesterday as a joke. (Ran into that issue in my real life, actually.) He's having a painful time, but everybody goes "oh tubbo" about it.

Thank you for the understanding of my perspective too, cause I was sitting through that stream like "oh man, Phil keeps bringing up to the eggs that it's gonna be okay, we're gonna get him back, hehe the create wrench I wonder if Tubbo will let that bring him back to life, oh that's quite sweet, he does care about Tubbo so much" and then I stepped onto the dash and saw the reaction and went OH NO THE OTHER PERSPECTIVE I FORGOT THAT NOT EVERYBODY PROCESSES EVERYTHING THROUGH JOKES and scrolled in dismay. It's obvious to me that cc!Phil cares a lot about Tubbo and I think q!phil cares a lot too, he just— thought it was a joke at first. Distracted by having many eggs around (you know that man is at max paranoia and minimum emotional processing with three+ eggs in his care).

The good news is we got FASCINATING Creation lore out of it, (picture me showing up in multiple liveblogging channels like "who's this herobrine motherfucker and no he can't have the eggs what the fuck"). Here's to more fascinating lore and qTubbo coming back to life (PLEASE man I don't want this to be your exit from the server, I like qTubbo), and all of us appreciating other perspectives. Emotional intelligence truly rarer than cucurucho cookies in my OWN life, I know, it's so hard. 😭😭

[loiswasadevil]

Everyone who bitches about your “backstory” in your askbox is undeniably jealous of your stress free lifestyle. Why do they care how you get your money or where your parents are?? If you aren’t worried about it, why should they be? People have an agenda against Family Guy thinking it’s an “edgy” show when they’ve never actually watched the show seeing what it’s really about: the hardships and bonding of a middle class American family. Some jokes are about race or religion but they’re not done out of hate. If you were a South Park kin, you’d be uplifted and thrown to the forefront of the community in celebration. It’s so hypocritical. Nobody has a problem with South Park fans drawing cp but simply a Lois Griffin kin living a relaxing life after trauma is too much for them to handle.

I hope the hate doesn’t deter you from sharing your life and experiences on here. I genuinely enjoy seeing you pop up on your dash. You come across sincere and kind. You always have support from me <3

I know right? They're just mad that I never even thought about getting a job, Sorry that you're miserable working every day I just watch Shows like Family Guy, American Dad, The Simpsons, And Futurama, And I reality Shift and I've been fine with that life ever since I left off grid. My needs are met and they are projecting their feelings into me because their needs are not met. And they just hate Family Guy kin and Want to take advantage of my Devils Heart to be my catalyst; It's really fucked. If i was a South Park Kin i wouldn't get any hate at all. People need to understand kin isn't a choice. Family Guy is a really endearing show and I just get hate and shit on for it When all i'm trying to do is explain her Devils Heart. The Only reason I talk about Off grid is to bring light to Lois Griffin's parallel Abuse and the parallel Hatred Hatred Of her Family That culminated her Devil's Heart. I am not forming a Story for you to gawk at, People try to find inconsistencies and claim that I "messed up" When they don't fucking understand that I've had TWO PETERS TAKEN FROM ME IN THIS LIFETIME.

[scumbagjaeger]

Rating: 18+! mdni

Me waking up at 5am with the most depraved thoughts about Jean, Connie and Sasha in a college AU that I will be turning into a full fic, here’s the rundown

Starts with Jean/Sasha with a dash of Jean/Connie/Sasha, and then ends with just Connie/Sasha, they’re endgame sorry not sorry (I love Springles) (it’s just because my friends tell me I’m just like Sasha and I am a fiend for Constance Springer)

First of all, you already know that they were all friends in high school, none of that awkward first meeting in History 101 thing

They can’t even remember how they met but Connie and Jean were those middle school bros with the snapbacks and jailbroken phones

Jean was asked to show Sasha around when she moved from the countryside in their freshman year of high school

Okay so now in college basically they all have the plan to just get laid as much as possible

Jk but they just want to party and be part of the crazy college scheme that they used to spend HOURS talking about in high school

“Guys… would you ever smoke weed?” —Jean at one point

Sorry this is still background but like I always imagine them growing up Midwest? I wanna say Chicago but deep down I’m thinking they grew up in like St Paul and they were all fairly sheltered oop

They go to college in Chicago for the big city life and they all apply together and they cry when they all get accepted

So yeah they’re trying to be adults now they rule!!!1!!! It’s so cheesy but they are 18 and suddenly they are like wow this adult thing is pretty nice 😎

Connie is kind of the rizzler?? No shock there but he is actually bringing so many women back to his and Jean’s dorm

The forms I had in college would be two bedrooms (with two beds each) and then a shared bathroom/fridge space?? So Connie and Jean are roommates and Marco is their suite mate in the other bedroom

Jean ends up having to stay with their suite-mate Marco because Marco’s roommate ended up dropping out after a day

Connie inadvertently cock blocks his friends but other while they’d pull as well??

Sorry Jean plays the sweet-romance game because he thinks he’s going to fall in love at a college party the first week 💀 and Connie swoops in making these ladies die laughing

He’s also just super affectionate with Sasha too like she’ll be rizzing up some guy and he’ll swing an arm around her waist “Sash we gotta host parties when we get our house together!!!”

He just means next year, the three of them plan on getting a townhouse together, but it’s enough to scare away the guy Sasha was talking to :(

At one point they have a mini intervention where they’re like “bro how do you do it????” And Connie’s like “what can I say, a rizzler’s gotta rizz 😎🥵”

I don’t think there would be much sexual interest or jealousy between any of them because they’re besties

Maybe in high school they had that drama about liking each other but they’re 18 now?? High school was so last year they are ADULTS remember

But idk maybe Sasha makes a comment about Connie cockblocking her, just an innocent joke, and he lowkey gets offended? “Damn my bad, I’ll let you cook next time ig”

So at the next party, Sasha meets Niccolo and of course they hit it off and Connie’s like okay why is this bothering me who gives a fuck, he ends up bringing a girl back to his dorm anyway so who cares LOL not that guy

Oh I forgot to say this but when Jean brings someone home Connie goes to Sasha’s and they literally share her tiny ass twin bed, usually drunk and watching some movie on her laptop, Ymir is normally in Historia’s room anyway so it works (but Ymir and Connie are homies too so she dgaf)

Anyway after her and Niccolo hook up, Sasha is super bummed?? The three of them are hanging out on campus and she’s like “yeah idk I thought we had something but our conversations just kind of fizzled out :(“

And Connie laughs? He’s like “lmao wait you talk to these people after you hook up with them??”

He explains that the whole point is that you go into it not expecting to ever see them again, that’s how he can be so bold with his flirting/jokes. It’s a HOOK UP not a MARRIAGE

And Jean kind of defends Sasha because he is also a big romantic and is constantly getting his hopes up? Poor guy

So one thing leads to another and (completely sober) Jean and Sasha decide they’re going to hook up???

It’s so awkward when they talk about it lol. Sasha’s like “man wtf how does Connie just not develop feeling for the girls he’s sleeping with” and Jean’s like “right that’s insane we should like, hook up and see” (totally joking) and Sasha’s like “omg yeah good one”

For half of their conversation, Jean can’t tell if she’s just going along with the joke

But it does make sense to them?? Like they will go to the party with Connie who will inevitably bring someone back to their dorm, and Jean and Sasha can pretend like they’ve just met and that they’re hooking up, then in the morning they go back to being friends

Unrelated but they’ve all definitely talked about their kinks before and Sasha hits Jean with the “S-step bro” and he whimpers

Also unrelated but Connie thought that the “Step bro, I’m stuck” things were the funniest shit in the world but that’s when they discovered Jean is bisexual, Jean included lol

Anyway the sex is good?? They are already so comfortable with each other, Jean makes sure Sasha is comfortable and that things feel good, she lowkey helps him with how to eat a girl out properly lol

Also Sasha has insane bedroom eyes and she doesn’t even know it? Her sex faces are unreal. Jean’s fucking her missionary style and he’s like “—this good?” And she lets out a breathy “Yeah, fuck, like that—” and he is like “bro don’t look at me like that or I’ll cum”

Afterwards Jean asks if they can cuddle and she’s like “wtf no? We’re supposed to not make thing a thing, we’re just friends again” and Jean is like “but we’d cuddle when we’re friends. We literally cuddled last week” and she’s like “damn you’re right okay c’mere”

The next morning Sasha’s like “omg! We did that! And I don’t want to do it again” and Jean’s like “wait WHAT” like he’s worried she had a bad experience and she’s like “No no no like I WOULD do it again but I don’t want to like date you!!” And he’s like “oh, good!!! Me too!!” And they high five

Jean goes to his dorm and Connie’s not there but Marco is and he’s like “Marco, I slept with Sasha and we don’t want to do it again 😎” and he’s like “what the fuck?”

Jean and Marco are also on the extremely slowburn train to romance-ville but until then they’re just homies, each other’s confidants

Marco tells Jean “I don’t know how you could hook up with anyone at all? Don’t you want the intimacy and love that comes with being with one person?” Because Marco doesn’t join in on their schemes, he also came from a sheltered childhood but he’s just so honest and sweet and we love our sweet boy

Of course Jean wants that too! He’s just a dumb idiot who thinks with his dick too much(‘: but someday he will learn and Marco will be there for him

Anyway idk about anyone else’s college experience but we had like four different card game variants of like “drink if you have the most unopened emails” or “drink if you are the last person to put your finger on your nose”

So of course they play that one time in Sasha’s room with their friends

“Drink if you’ve slept with someone else in this room” and everyone’s laughing, of course Eren and Mikasa drink, and Ymir and Historia drink, but then Jean takes a sip and it’s like SILENT

And Connie’s like “HEADASS get outta here, your fantasies don’t count” and Jean is looking at Sasha like bro help me

So then she takes a drink

And everyone is like hooting and hollering, but now Connie is silent

Jean’s laughing and telling them “yeah it was just a one time thing lol we’re just friends”

He’s lowkey hurt that they didn’t tell him?? He thinks it happened in like high school or something

They notice he’s upset and they end up confronting him after he avoids them bc we know Connie can’t deal with his emotions xoxo

“I just can’t believe you guys had sex without me??” He means without TELLING me but he’s upset yk. And Sasha’s like “well fine do you want to have sex with us?”

And it’s silent for like four minutes. Also they’re eating lunch in like Burger King so Jean’s mouth is full of a whopper burger as Sasha says this and he just freezes, and then slowly continues to eat

I feel like Connie is straight/has a strong preference towards women, but the idea of fucking a woman with another guy he’s totally down for yk, he’s definitely comfortable with himself and open to experimenting but something about Jean fucking THEIR friend Sasha fires him up??

He’s still the most experienced out of the three of them, never in a threesome but has watched enough of them lol, he even did extra research to prepare omg

He strokes himself off underneath Sasha, who’s being fucked by Jean

And Connie’s an ass? Talking to them like a little shit. “So this is how you did it without me last time, huh? I missed out on all this fun?”

I’ll save the big details for the fic so you have to read it sorry xoxo, but let’s say Jean ends up fucking Sasha’s mouth while Connie switches and begins fucking her? Like your classic Eiffel Tower shit

They definitely high five while fucking Sasha lol but she’s also loving it we know she’s a freak

I bet Connie would feel this weird possession about fucking Sasha? Like he sees how wet she got from cumming with Jean’s cock inside her and he’s like well we gotta out do this, I gotta show her how good I’m gonna make her feel

No warning just immediately rams himself into her, her gasp barely audible around Jean’s cock

And this is when he starts to like “hm I could get used to this”, just an idle thought he brushes off as he slaps her ass, grabbing the fat of it afterwards to thrust deeper into her

I bet they talked about it before, but Connie definitely is all “You gonna let me cum inside you, huh, Sash? Gonna be a good girl and let me fill you up?”

Jean’s already came in her mouth and he’s holding her, petting her hair and playing with her tits as she cries out, nodding and turning back to look at him

I bet Sasha’s fucked out expression is what sends him over the edge

They end up all passed out next to each other with Sasha in the middle, they’re too sweaty and gross to be comfortable but they promise to help wash the sheets and clean up/get breakfast in the morning

But somehow Connie and Sasha both wake up in the middle of the night (she elbows him accidentally), and before they go back to sleep he’s just kind of like, wait wait

And he slips a hand in her underwear just to feel the mess of his cum leaking into her underwear

Omg he’d slip a finger inside her, trying to push it into her again (fuck I love Connie too much someone needs to put me in horny jail)

She’d just kind of whine quietly, half asleep but wrapping her arm around him and shuffling closer, carefully spreading her legs further

He’d finger her for a little bit but her whines and noises start to get too loud, they’re too lazy to move to the bathroom or something so they put a pin in it

Connie does tilt Sasha’s jaw towards him and kisses her though? It’s like the first time he’s ever kissed a girl after sex so it’s kind of startling to him, it just seems too romantic and he can’t possibly feeling this towards his best pal Sasha??

But Sasha’s kissed guys after sex so she’s like whatever lol gnight dude

Things are fine between the three of them because Connie just compartmentalizes his emotions and Jean and Sasha have already fucked

But now when they talk about going to parties, Connie doesn’t really want to hook up with random girls anymore? And he gets pissy when Sasha mentions bringing a guy back to her place

But also Sasha picks up on that and she doesn’t even seem to care about the guys she’s hooking up with?? Jean can see it SO CLEARLY she’s using these other guys to distract herself from Connie

One day Jean shows up at Sasha’s door and is like “so when did you start liking Connie?”

Ends with Sasha crying to Jean about how she doesn’t know? He had a thing for her in their sophomore year of high school? They were each others first kisses? She even had a thing for him once in their senior year, but this is DIFFERENT she knows it’s going to ruin their friendship

Literally Ymir and Historia are there because they were just giving her shit for this too but now they’re comforting her

Jean just had the EXACT SAME conversation with Connie, even with the same tears, and Eren and Mikasa there to comfort him LMAO

But Jean doesn’t say anything about that, he just says she should talk to him about it (just like he told Connie to do) and she’s like lol NO

A couple days later though Connie says the most OUTTA pocket thing?? Something about a girlfriend??

In my mind it’s always Mina just because but idk we’ll see

Connie in an attempt to evade the confrontation of talking to Sasha about his feelings has decided that burying them deep inside himself is the way to go

And Sasha literally texts Jean and is like SEE?!???? He doesn’t like me it’s fine this is fine 🥲

And Jean is like THESE TWO DUMBASSES WILL BE THE DEATH OF ME

Cue him and Marco having to play matchmaker, maybe even fall in love themselves while they’re at it 😗

Idk how it’s gonna end ngl but if you stuck around this long you should tell me your thoughts via reply or ask

[vileintcnt]

okay so just a quickie but here are some plots I’m looking for atm :

1. okay kudos because I saw it on my dash but also because I really wanna read the book that has the same connotations, but give my new ice skating muse a hockey player to rival her and constantly rub her the wrong way and always challenge her and tease her for being virginal, she doesn’t have a name yet but the plot is THERE

2. yelling and screaming still for a plot where two of my frat boys, with your choice of harrison, fitz, tobias and connor, play a game of dares with one of your naive girls, totally unaware they’re basically rigging the game to see how far she’ll go with them, lots of ‘oh well if you’re not brave enough to do it then whatever we don’t have to play, we have shit to do anyways’ and her desperate to be liked by them is just adamant on playing the game

3. give me your subby, hot anxious boys for brandy to just wreck, milf threads are very fun so

4. looking for vampire threads and categorically willing to make muses for it !

5. ok so my muse for this isn’t THAT high because I kind of think I’ll suck at writing it but I want Valentina hazing sorority sisters by putting them through humiliating and degrading sexual situations, this could be coupled with Fitz or Lottie for extra fun

6. OKAY GIVE THE BUFFET FAMILY SOME LOVE, Ted wants young girls to release tension on lmao, Wade wants hot dominant girls to absolutely walk all over this silly lil country boy, and Barbie wants hot city slickers to go mechanical bull riding with

7. I want Puck to be watching a movie with a close friend and then suddenly the film turns raunchy and they’re both turned on and it’s kind of awkward because pucks boner is like sunlight blocking and they both decide that maybe they should just like, rub one out you know? and then oops sorry I didn’t mean to touch you but wait I kind of liked it fuck are we doing this? ?? give my metal head a fuck buddy PLEASE

8. Peaches & Martina want rockstars to fuck them, thanks!

9. give my silly airhead country girl candy priests who find her devotion to church advantageous for…reasons 👀 give her pageant judges who find her devotion to winning advantageous, also for…reasons 👀 give me best friends pervy dads using her panties to jack off and her totally aware he’s watching her so she puts on a special show for him idk just semi fucked things for her pls

10. give brooke massage clients who are progressively falling in love with her and keep coming back because they’re working up the courage to ask her on a date 😫 give simone a high profile actor/musician who sees her at a party that her and cher got into by sheer luck and immediately he’s smitten, give cher best friends that are joking around and then accidentally fucking and give me the awkward tension of it all, give cat a new hot roommate that she’s desperate to have sex with and talks to her girlies about him all the time and she’s always trying to catch his attention by wearing short skirts and shit but he’s actually a really shy inexperienced guy who just looks like a sexy fuckboy and everytime he sees her trying to turn him on he just doesn’t know what to do, give Lola an older brothers best friend plot where he’s ridiculed her their entire life and they always act like they don’t like each other but all of a sudden they’re alone together and why is the sexual tension so crazy rn??? Idk just GIVE MY CITY GORLS LOVE

[gaybd1]

Casually admitting to Islamophobia in my dash? Classy.

oh my god oh my god oh my god oh my god please be joking

i am gonna respond to this either way bc who fucking knows on this website

i know you’re referring to this post and i am once again asking you to use basic reading comprehension skills

Or if you can’t do that, then imagine

You are six years old and have lived your whole life in a white suburban ultra-Christian ultra-conservative area

You can’t think for yourself because you’re SIX YEARS OLD and also fucking autistic as hell like not even able to function independently so you just. Absorb the opinions of everyone around you, especially people you respect like family members

9/11 happens. You watch the footage of people dying again and again and again for days and nobody ever talks to you about it???

You’re constantly surrounded by people who blame an entire group of people who had nothing to do with it and justify war for no real reason but YOURE SIX YEARS OLD so it must be true

Also everything is so fucking sensationalized in the media and imperialism and Islamophobia is EVERYWHERE including school where you have to watch Baghdad being bombed live when you are 8 because “we are heroes” ????

This just becomes truth and reality at that point

You’re still scared as fuck every time you see anyone visibly Muslim because you’ve been taught that they all kill people

Anyway when you’re 11 you start to get your own thoughts like “I think maybe this war is actually fucked up but I don’t have the knowledge or the resources to articulate why I think that?”

It turns out a kid you’ve known actually most of your life is Muslim. And he doesn’t even “look” like it? And… he’s not dangerous?? So at 11 years old when yOURE FINALLY DEVELOPMENTALLY ABLE TO FORM YOUR OWN OPINIONS you start slowly unlearning all that shit you were taught

So I mean, yeah were those thoughts privileged and fucked up? YEAH. No excuses there. And for what it’s worth I’m sorry that I used to think that way. But I think someone who sends a message like this really fails to grasp

How fucked up and imperialistic and hypernationalistic shit was for a while there (I mean did it ever end? Lol debatable but it’s at least a different kind now)

That kids DEVELOPMENTALLY don’t have the BRAIN CAPACITY to form their own opinions about stuff like that?? Like what was I gonna do, read into it in an era when it wasn’t even normal to have a computer with internet??? Fucking dumbass

The reality of how echo chambers and brainwashing still are today. Like. Having information IS a privilege and if you live in a world where EVERYTHING screams one thing at you, it’s really hard to break out of that shit

Like Jesus Christ, cancel me if you want, I’ve been unlearning shit my whole life. I got over my homophobia in a similar way to this in middle school, transphobia in high school, fucking white supremacy in college. I JUST in the last couple months started reprogramming myself from evangelical Christianity lmao like.

People are always learning and evolving and that’s why I fucking HATE this cancel culture or dragging shit up from when someone was an actual child… like hey we are all shitty people who think and do shitty things. What’s important is that we try to get better and grow and are able to move on while apologizing to the people we’ve hurt, and show a REAL desire to change for the better

[ramshead-shackles]

“I think two counts as an infestation.”

The Drifter felt the hair on the back of his neck raise up as the voice reaches his ears, head jerking around to see who had managed to sneak up on him. Dark brown eyes relax slightly at seeing the familiar face of Eris Morn sitting casually on the railing around the Annex.

Still, his hands didn’t hesitate, pulling something behind his back as he turns to face the Warlock with a smile. “Whatcha talkin’ about, Moondust? Just me an’ you here far as I can tell.”

Eris’ eyes shimmered behind the black veil, though, they did not blink. “Drifter, I may not be able to see, but I can still hear. A child’s laughter isn’t a thing one can easily miss.”

The Drifter tenses, feeling the thing behind his back squirm as it tried to see who was speaking. And then slowly, ever so slowly, his grip loosens, allowing the child to peek around his side.

He takes a breath, before gesturing to what looked like a miniature version of himself. The girl’s black hair was tied back with a length of red string, those brown eyes big and curious, though she still clung to Drifter’s belt as she looks at Eris.

“This is dinner. Just, haven’t put it on yet.” His face is passive, though Eris knew it was a joke.

“Dinner? Hm, I thought you put more care into your meals, there’s hardly any meat on her bones as it is.” She smiles, and the light from it brightens her grim face. “Besides, she’s too cute for that. Hello, little one. Do you have a name?”

The child hesitates, head ducking slightly, though Drifter prods her forward. “Lucy, this is Eris. She’s a..friend of mine. She’s your uh, god mother, or something fancy like that.”

Lucy looks up at Eris Morn untrustingly, but edges forward a bit closer. She was small, though that had more to do with her being so young, Eris figured. “Hi.” She says, waving a little. “I like your eyes.”

Eris’ hand briefly touches the veil, but she contains the urge to hide her face, forcing her hand back down into her lap. “That’s very kind of you. I like your dress, Lucy.”

The girl smiles, twirling around to show off the simple dress. “Thanks! Dad got it for me!”

Drifter’s face was like a smooth glass pane, not a wrinkle of worry across it, though Eris knew he was tense. She could feel it.

“Well, that’s very nice of him, isn’t it?” She stands, smoothing out the wrinkles in her robes. “I think I’ll take my leave now. Good bye, Drifter. It was nice to meet you, Lucy.”

Drifter fidget’s with a coin, watching as Eris turned to leave, watching her disappear around the corner.

“Stay here. If anyone else comes in, hide in those crates.”

He dashes out of the Annex, chasing after the Warlock, heart beating hard in his chest.

“Eris! Eris, wait-“

She stops, her right foot resting on the edge of the stairs leading up to the launch pad. “Yes?” She says, turning back to look at the rogue over her shoulder.

“I-I’m sorry. I should have told you, but I didn’t-“ he takes a breath. “I was scared. I didn’t want anything to happen to her, fuck, I still don’t. I’m sorry.”

Eris Morn did not say anything for a moment, but she steps off the launch pad, putting her hand on Drifter’s shoulder. “I would have done the same, in these times. I cannot blame you. She’s a wonderful child. She looks just like you.”

“Heh. Yeah. Don’t know what I did to deserve her.”

“More then you think, I’m sure. But, I do wish you’d told me sooner. I’d like to help protect her, if you’ll let me.”

“..Yeah. Yeah, of course.”

[sluttyjeon]

risky tending | jjk 01

going out with a bartender, wasn't something on Nayun's night out. But what happens when this get risky for a turn.

― jungkook!bartender x nayun

― fluff, angst, smut

—  warnings: explicit language, will have some mentions of smuts through out the series, nayun taking risk through everything, jungkook being at least somewhat flirty

― 739 wc

― masterlist

© sluttyjeon; please do not repost, replicate or translate any work under any circumstances.

“Maybe, this isn’t so bad after all.” She looked at the area filled with people dancing, screaming to the lyrics. “Hey, I’ll go be on the dance floor, mind grabbing drinks for us?” Subin pointed at the crazed drinks flaring up. “Yeah, I'll grab us the fiery drinks.” walking there, she sat down staring at all sorts of drinks being made. “What, can I get you there sweet cheeks?” She stared at him for quite some time staring at his beauty, not before being pulled back into reality. “Oh.. sorry, I’ll just grab 2 of those fiery drinks there..” Pointing to what others had, embarrassed at the fact of your first encounterment. Had to be staring at a guy. 

“Ah, I see you’re interested in trying our mouth burning drinks there!” He’s amused, such a girl would want to drink those. “So, what brings you here?” “Well.. Mr. Bartender that I just met for the first time, I’m just here with a friend to celebrate passing the 2nd semester for the year.” 

He chuckled at the nickname. “Well, there sweet cheeks, name’s Jungkook. What about you?” “Nahyun, name’s Nahyun.” “Say, after my shift, let’s get to know each other and ditch this place to go to mine?” “I don’t know.. What about my friend? Who’s gonna be there to take her home, once she hits the drunk point?” sighing that she might have to leave her presumably later drunk friend behind. 

“We can just call a cab to drive her home safely. Is that okay with you?” She thought for a moment, calling a cab to take her home. Would mean that she’d get home safely, and possibly knock out on the floor with makeup still caked up on her face. “Sure, but only that 

My friend gets home safely by cab. I don’t wanna leave her in the hands of some kidnapper.” “Gotcha,” Jungkook chuckled before needing to make the drinks. “So, how long have you been bartending for?” Figured to start this conversation more, she’d wanted to know how long he’s been doing this job for. “Probably, for only a year, I found bartending to be something cool.” “For a year, you sure must be skilled.” she giggled, kind of digging his personality and style. 

“You could say that. But I’m not skilled enough to do fancy throw tricks with the shaker just yet.” He shook his head, laughing a little. “Why not show me some of your tricks later?” “We’ll see about that, these drinks can get you a bit tipsy from one drink.” Shooting her a wink. “But here are the drinks you requested.” Picking up the cups, he proceeded to clean up the remnants left there. 

“Subin, hey, i’m sorry to be leaving so soon just as we got here. But I'm going with a bartender later. I’ll spill you the details later, but right now, I’ll be going back to where they’re at.” “I’ll call you a cab later!” As she runs back to Jungkook. “Mmm, what’s in this drink that tastes so good?” Chuckling, turning his focus on the drinks. “You know, a bit of strawberries with a dash of pineapple and a sprinkle about tons of alcoholic drinks that you name.” “That must be a drink every person desires.” Nayun tried joking, laughing at it a bit.

“Now, what the fuck was that joke. Nayun. Come on.” Thinking to herself.

“I thought that joke to be quite funny. Even though I laughed in my head.” Cleaning up the empty dirty cups.

“Oh.. Well, thank you for laughing at my really terrible drinking jokes there.” Embarrassed at that, she continued sipping her drink.  “Uhm, so what do you do for a living outside of bartending here?” She tried starting up the conversation, easing this awkwardness inside her. 

“Let’s see, I like to dance in my freetime, oh! I also enjoy experimenting with cooking.” He lets out, cleaning the area. “Oh, wow, what type of dance do you usually do?” “Normally, I dance to what my heart and mind feel like.” “Wow, maybe later you gotta show me your dance skills.” “Mhm, I’ll show you it later.” He winks. 

She blushes a bit at the wink. “1 drink is enough for me. I don’t wanna talk to you on our first encounter looking drunk.” “I wouldn’t mind seeing you drunk.” “Okay, let me finish cleaning. And then we can go to my place.” 

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