#sorry boys it’s midnight and i’m yearning posting

[send-me-a-puffalope]

manifesting curling up against someone’s side as i heal from cockroaching it for way too long

[numinousmysteries]

Legacy

This goes AU post-Je Souhaite. Kind of an expansion of what I was exploring in this post on how Mulder and Scully could have had a satisfying ending without children.

[on Ao3] @today-in-fic

I.

Mulder told her to never give up on a miracle. He was right in the end although their miracle wasn’t a child but something far more rare: Two discordant souls coming together to create a union stronger than the sum of its parts.

Once in a Los Angeles hotel room, champagne bubbles fizzing in her mind, Scully whispered in his ear, “I wish we could make a baby this way.”

He froze. He was on top of her, buried deep inside her, his body enveloping hers, and his abrupt pause made her gasp.

“I’m sorry,” she said. “I didn’t mean—”

“Shh,” he soothed her. Shifting to balance on one hand, he used the other to tuck a shock of auburn hair behind her ear. “I wish we could, too.”

She tilted her chin up to meet his eyes. He kissed her hard and started moving within her again. If yearning and conviction were strong enough to overcome biological reality, they would have easily sparked life on that plush king bed with its 1,000-thread count sheets. Alas, science defeated faith. She cringed at the irony of wishing for a different outcome, and hoped he wouldn't blame her for not believing enough.

Arriving at the hotel room after midnight and tipsier than either of them had been in years, they neglected to close the blackout curtains. The harsh sunlight woke her far too early the next morning. A pounding in her head and an acidic churn in her stomach weighed down the buoyant rosiness of the previous night.

He stirred alongside her. Both of their bodies were damp and sticky with sweat. The air conditioner kicked on and she felt goose pimples rising on her flesh.

“Morning,” he whispered, squeezing her tighter against him.

Last night, she felt as if she couldn’t get close enough to him. In the backseat of the car on the way back from the movie premiere, her hands were on his chest, his thighs, the bulge in his lap, as his tongue probed her mouth and she inhaled his heady blend of aftershave, cologne, and natural musk. She couldn’t remember how they shed their clothing, just her evening gown and his tux falling away as their bodies sought contact.

In the morning, though, she craved to be alone. Not to escape him, but to run from the implication of her words.The alcohol had smudged certain details of the evening but she remembered what she said to him about conceiving a child. And, as much as she wished he didn’t, she knew he had to as well.

With her head on his sternum, she felt him clearing his throat.

“I know we never really talked about it, the IVF, afterwards,” he started. “But if that’s still something you want, I would want it, too.”

“There’s not going to be another round of IVF,” she said, her voice raspy. “No more ova, remember?”

“I didn’t mean that specifically,” he said. They��d been intimate for months but this was the one topic they still danced around with their old, overly formal remoteness. “I meant having a child another way. There are donor eggs, surrogacy, adoption—”

“I know,” she cut him off. “It’s still so raw, though.”

“I understand,” he said. He kissed the top of her head and she realized they were both crying. “But I want you to know I’m open to any of it. If and when you’re ever ready.”

“Thank you,” she said. “I appreciate that.”

And yet, weeks turned to months and she never felt ready to face another loss. She still dreamt of little girls with her hair and his bottom lip; little boys with his nose and her eyes. But the pain lessened as time went on. Once she let him in, she felt less alone. Together, their lives felt full.

II.

She knew he hadn’t been close to his mother, but after Teena’s death—and the concurrent shift in their relationship—she made more of an effort to involve him with her family. At first, he resisted. She suspected he feared being an imposition or, worse, a tangible reminder of all his quest had taken away from her and her family. She could meet his stubbornness with her own, though, and in the end he couldn’t turn her down.

They began with casual dinners at her mother’s and, just short of a year into their relationship, she managed to convince him to fly with her to Bill’s for Christmas. Matthew, nearly three, had been joined by a younger sister, Caitlin, only a few months old on their first visit. With Caitlin in her arms, Scully shifted her gaze between the unbroken peace of the infant’s sleeping face and Mulder’s worried facade. With her widest smile and honest eyes she attempted wordlessly conveying to him that she was truly happy. No one offered the baby to Mulder to hold and he didn’t volunteer. For that, she felt thankful. As content as she was, she wasn’t ready to face the image of what might have been.

They visited more frequently over the years, becoming regular fixtures in her nephew and niece’s lives. They went to kindergarten graduations, birthday parties, little league games, and dance recitals. When the kids were a little older, they took them out for the day, just the four of them, to the zoo, the aquarium, the beach.

Bill was a football fan but his son preferred the slower, cerebral rhythm of baseball.

“Good,” Bill said, eyeing Mulder on the couch discussing the Padres odds of making it into the playoffs with Matthew. “You can watch this with him. It’s too boring for me.”

And Mulder did, for hours at a time even though it wasn’t his team. The boy’s wonder and curiosity in the game mattered more than who won or lost. He saw so much of Scully in her nephew’s precocious, methodical nature. Matthew even corrected his math.

Everyone else was surprised by how good Mulder was with the kids, but she never had doubts. She’d seen him on cases interacting with children at the worst possible moments of their lives—after losing a parent or a sibling, or witnessing a heinous crime—but he always approached them with respect, kindness, and patience. Knowing what it was like to feel alone and misunderstood, he gave them the space they needed.

Aware of her infertility, her family knew better than to whisper to her that he’d be a wonderful father, but that didn't stop her from hearing the words reverberate in her own mind. But they were merely echoes bouncing off the cold walls of a barren canyon. Unable to find purchase, they dissipated and faded away into the ether.

It was only once when a three-year-old Caitlin became inconsolable for reasons that were impossible for adult minds to decipher and would only accept comforting from her mother that Scully felt the emptiness in her arms as she handed the toddler over to Tara.

An hour later, the girl’s mood lifted just as mysteriously as it fell and she was eager to show her aunt her Barbie doll’s new wardrobe. Scully sat cross legged on the floor switching out outfits for so long that her legs fell asleep and Mulder had to help her up. As he lifted her to stand, he softly kissed her neck, just beneath her ear.

Once, Tara was even able to wrangle the kids on her own when Bill was at sea, and they flew out to DC to visit. They stayed at her mother’s—Scully’s apartment that she now shared with Mulder was too small to house them all—but Mulder and Scully spent nearly every waking moment with Matthew and Caitlin. The city they walked every day took on a new tint through the children’s excited eyes. Who knew there were so many interactive exhibits at the National Air and Space Museum? That the pizza place on her block threw in candy with your order if you picked up a child’s size pie?

They fell into bed exhausted but giggling over the silly comments the kids had entertained them with each day.

Their visit ended with airport hugs and kisses. As they returned to their car in the parking lot, she felt a sinking sense of guilt.

“You could have this for real, you know,” she said. “With someone else.”

For an instant, their roles reversed and he looked at her like she’d lost her mind. “It’s only you,” he vowed. “You and me. Forever.”

As jet planes soared above them bringing families together or drawing them apart, he wrapped his arms around her and held her tight. This was family, too, she knew. Two hearts that had found each other.

III.

The only time she ever felt glad they weren’t able to have children was when they learned the date of colonization. She’d already seen one daughter’s life cut short by the work of these horrible men and she couldn’t watch another die. If the IVF had worked, their child would only barely have made it to its teenage years.

By the time they learned the date, they only had five years left to fight. To thwart their efforts, their enemies had them both framed for crimes and they became fugitives. Cut off from the resources of the bureau and even the power to use their own names, their struggle intensified, but they never gave up.

The Gunmen helped them go deep underground. For years, they exchanged old fake identities for new ones and took up disposable backstories in dozens of nameless towns across the country. Once either of them picked up even a passing whiff of threat, they’d pack their bags and leave one life behind for the next. She thanked God she didn’t have to force a child to live like this.

In another life, these would have been the years she devoted to bedtime stories, school pickups, and soccer practices. Instead, she spent them corresponding with others in the resistance through encrypted emails sharing research findings and making plans.

With a year to go, she finally developed a promising vaccine formulation using samples of the extraterrestrial virus stolen from a syndicate lab by a scientist sympathetic to their cause. She tested her inoculation on mice and stray dogs. All the creatures showed immunity.

Mulder insisted on being her first human test subject.

“Absolutely not,” she argued. “You were exposed to the virus in that gulag. There’s no way to know how either the vaccine or this particular strain of contagion would interact with your existing antibodies. Besides, the resistance can’t afford to lose you. I can’t afford to lose you.”

Ultimately, Frohiked stepped up.

“I’m the eldest,” he said, when the five of them met up. “I have the least time remaining.”

The rest of them started to dispute but he waved his hands to cut them off.

“I’m disposable,” he continued. “Scully’s the only one with the medical know-how, Mulder’s got his connections and that spooky sixth sense that’ll come in handy. Byers’s has the bland face of comforting authority that’ll convince everyone to line up for this wacky new shot, and Langly’s a decent enough hacker to break down all the digital fortresses you’ll need to penetrate.”

“This better not be some ploy to get me to admit your kung fu is so far superior to mine that we can’t possibly lose you,” Langly deadpanned.

“Not a chance, hippie,” Frohike huffed. “It’s just that you’re allergic to bees so we all know the anaphylaxis would take you out long before the virus had a chance.”

So he rolled up his sleeve and let her give him the injection. She waited for a crude joke as she swabbed his deltoid with alcohol and then depressed the plunger of the syringe, but Frohike remained serious and stoic. He’d been a good friend to them over the years and she didn’t underestimate him.

They waited two weeks for the vaccine to take effect, and then she tested his antibodies. According to her research, his levels appeared high enough to fend off the virus. They locked him in the basement of a rural home they’d rented with a reliable Wi-Fi connection, a week’s worth of food and water, and a hive of genetically engineered Africanized honey bees.

Stung to shit, he texted the rest of them later that night.

Any symptoms? Scully wrote.

All copacetic so far, he responded. My faith in the good doctor remains.

Godspeed, Byers replied.

A week later, they unlocked the basement door. With the exception of scattered pink welts from the bee stings that had already begun to heal, he emerged unscathed. No gelatinous tissue. No gestating alien.

“Dr. Scully,” he said, grinning. “Your patient lives.”

Byers and Langly whooped and applauded.

Mulder kissed her on the forehead. “I knew you could do it,” he said. There might be hope after all.

Scully argued they had to find a way to deliver the vaccine surreptitiously, that no one would believe their claims of an upcoming alien invasion. But Mulder insisted it had to be a choice. That if they inoculated the population without consent, they’d be no better than the syndicate of men who secretly carried out their tests on unwilling, innocent citizens for decades. Although she feared his plan would result in unnecessary death, she didn’t deny he was in the right morally.

As word of a successful vaccine spread, more and more scientists defected from the syndicate to join the resistance. Mulder and Scully never fully trusted them, wary that they’d found their consciences a little too late, but still welcomed the information they had to offer. They mapped where the bees would be released and charted the timeline of the ships’ arrivals.

In the months leading up to the date, Scully became the public face of the resistance, using her scientific background and medical credentials to plead their case and insist on widespread vaccine uptake. She published their old case reports, not sparing the public any of the gory imagery of what laid ahead if they failed to act.

Miraculously, it worked. Enough of the populace accepted the vaccine that, paired with a syndicate significantly weakened by the resistance, they were able to ward off the invasion. The ships were picked up on radar systems but they must have been able to detect their accomplices’ failure on the ground and they quickly reversed course.

Mulder and Scully’s names were cleared and they were lauded as heroes after spending years as outlaws.

As they sat on their porch and watched the sun set on that unseasonably warm but otherwise unremarkable December evening, the old emptiness threatened to temper the joy of victory.

“Our children could have had a future,” she said.

“Scully, you gave all the children a future.”

He leaned in to kiss her. The world didn’t end.

IV.

Life went on, which meant its shadow, death, kept up its work as well. It didn’t feel fair that she only got to enjoy a few more years with her mother after they were free to come out of hiding, but at least Maggie Scully maintained her sharp mind until the very end.

Only in these last few days, on a steady morphine drip to ease her transition into the next world, did the loving relatives streaming in to visit her bedside start blurring together.

“You’re such a good mother,” she said to Scully, after spending an afternoon with her, Matthew, and Caitlin. “You’ve raised them so well.”

Scully didn’t have the heart to correct her, to remind her that these were Bill and Tara’s children, not her own. So she smiled and kissed the thin skin on her mother’s brow.

“I learned from you,” she said.

Her life was rich, even without children. She had Mulder, her extended family, and her work. She didn’t know if her mother would ever understand that, so she let her die believing her daughter was happy in a way that she could comprehend.

V.

After his stroke, she knew they didn't have much time left together. He was still the same man she met and fell in love with so long ago, still possessed his wit and encyclopedic memory of all things paranormal, only operated at a slightly slower frequency.

So it didn’t surprise her when she woke up one morning and his body was next to her, but he was gone. She had nearly lost him so many times over the years, but when it finally happened she felt oddly at peace. He had lived a long life. He had been vindicated, defeated his enemies, and even saved the world. They had spent decades at each other’s side, the intensity of their love never fading. Still, a lifetime together was not enough time.

She wanted to stay in the house, it was theirs after all, but it became harder and harder to keep up on her own. Caitlin offered for her to come live with her and her husband in Southern California. Their own children were all grown up and on their own, so they had plenty of room for her. She liked the idea of returning to the Pacific of her youth, so she agreed and began clearing out the house.

They didn’t have much. There was no fortune, no priceless family heirlooms, but there was neat, lawyer-signed paperwork dividing what they did have between Matthew, Caitlin, and their children. She was glad to help them in some way, however small.

She didn’t mind getting rid of their belongings. Her childhood as an itinerant Navy brat and her years on the run with Mulder had taught her not to value material things. But then there were the files. Their life’s work, cataloged in dozens of cabinets in their home office. Their true legacy.

A few weeks before moving, she got the email.

Dear Dr. Scully,

My name is Tegan Marks and I’m a special agent with the FBI. I read about your husband’s recent passing and I wanted to express my sincere condolences. I must admit that I’ve long been an admirer of both of you, ever since learning of your work in preventing the alien colonization of 2012.

As you know, the X-Files division has been closed since you and Agent Mulder departed from the bureau. However, that hasn’t stopped reports of unexplained phenomena from coming in. We just don’t have a unit or any resources devoted to investigating them. While I’m currently assigned to the violent crimes section, I’ve petitioned my supervisors to reopen the X-Files and they’ve been receptive.

In order to establish a thorough database of this type of phenomena and its history, I was hoping to access your files to scan and digitize. I would happily return the physical copies to you once I’m done.

I hope to hear from you soon.

Best, Special Agent Tegan Marks

Scully replied that Agent Marks was welcome to come and pick up the files anytime, no need to return them.

She showed up excitedly a week later. She was so young—probably no older than Scully was the day she was assigned to the X-Files herself—and so full of passion and curiosity. If aliens had colonized the planet in 2012, Agent Marks never would have been born. Scully led her to the home office where wall to wall filing cabinets held the secrets of her life’s work.

“Oh wow,” Marks said, surveying the office. “I think this is more than I can fit in my car. I might have to make a few trips.”

“Take as much time as you need,” Scully said.

“And I’m happy to bring them back once I’ve digitized them.”

“No,” Scully stopped her. “Please, keep them. They belong with someone who will put them to use.”

Scully watched as Marks hauled folder after folder to her car. She loaded the backseat and trunk to the brim but had barely reached the M’s for Mothmen.

“I don’t know how to thank you for this,” she said.

“I should be thanking you,” Scully said. “I know nothing would make my husband happier than to know that these were with someone who wanted to carry on our legacy. Before you head back, would you like to join me for some coffee or tea?”

“Tea would be lovely,” Marks said and followed her back into the kitchen.

“I’m honestly glad you reached me when you did,” Scully said as she boiled the kettle. “I’m in the process of downsizing and I didn’t know what to do with all of these.”

“Well, I’m glad I got in touch,” said Marks. “I’m looking forward to diving into these.”

“I can’t believe they’re reopening the X-Files after all these years.” Scully shook her head. “Do you have a partner?”

“I’m in the process of selecting someone now. It’s been challenging, though.”

Scully nodded, indicating for her to go on.

“Well, I’m obviously very open-minded about the paranormal but not many other agents are. I imagine this work would be much easier with a fellow believer.”

“Hmm,” Scully said, pausing to sip her tea. “You might be surprised. Mulder and I rarely saw eye-to-eye on our cases but I think that challenging each other is what made us such a good team. Just make sure you find someone you actually enjoy disagreeing with.”

“Thanks for the advice,” Marks said. “Although I don’t think partnerships like that are all that common.”

“No,” Scully said, smiling. “I don’t suppose they are.”

After they finished their tea, Scully saw the younger woman to the door and watched as she drove away; their legacy in good hands.

[neochan]

GENRE | smut, idolverse!

WARNINGS | smut

WC | 2.6k +

A.N | this is a repost of my older work. i hope you enjoy it <3

You could still hear the unintelligible screaming of thousands of fans as the boys filtered off the stage and into the greenroom. Another successful concert in the long string of tour stops. You couldn’t even remember what state you were in because the days of traveling, unpacking, setting up, and doing it all again the next day ran together.

The boys were dripping sweat, immediately grabbing bottles of water and towels to wipe themselves off. They had worked harder than normal today since during one of the sets the microphone cut out and they had to perform acapella. Someone was getting fired for that.

Taeyong flopped onto the leather couch dominating the center of the room, water in one hand, phone in the other. “People are already uploading photos.” He outstretches his arm so the others could view the pictures pulled up on his screen.

“Johnny you look ridiculous,” you point out, laughing as a fan had caught Johnny in the act of wildly waving his light stick.

“I was having a good time, okay?” He chuckles and walks into the dressing rooms to change out of his stage outfit. Half of the group filtered out to change and half stayed to peruse through the gifts left by venue staff and play on their phones until told otherwise.

You were wondering where Hyuck was when you heard his voice from the hallway. He saunters in and gives you a kiss on the cheek, “Enjoy the show?” His golden skin was tainted pink, hair matted to his forehead by the sweat that was trickling down the side of his face. He grabbed his shirt and lifted it to swipe at his face, revealing his cute tummy. You had to resist the urge to poke it.

“I enjoyed hearing thousands of pretty fans scream your name” You give him a smirk knowing that he hates when you downplay your relationship.

He nudges you with his shoulder, “You know I meant the songs,” his doe eyes look into yours, his long lashes brushing against his cheek when he blinked “Besides, you know I love you and only you.”

Mark began to nervously giggle in the corner while Doyoung made fake gagging noises from the vanity he sat at. “Oh, shut up.” You say, throwing empty water bottles at the two, “And hurry up I wanna go swimming before it gets too late.”

The ride home was peaceful once the swarms of fans cleared a path for the bus. Per the managers request you slouched down in your seat so know one could see you through the window. It didn’t make much sense because the windows were tinted, but Haechan had to argue for his life to allow them to let you tag along on the tour, so you didn’t question them. Once you were on the road, you sat back up and snuggled close to Haechans side. He rested his hand on your thigh, absentmindedly stroking you with his thumb. His head leaned back against the seat, eyes closed, listening to music. It was so loud you could almost make out the words but you didn’t say anything – you let him stay in his post concert utopia for the whole trip.

The hotel was about an hour away from the venue so that no one would find them, and they’d be closer to their next destination. It was nicer than the others because it actually had a pool. You and Haechan made an agreement to go swimming after the concert, and you couldn’t wait. The staff also rented more rooms, so instead of four people to a bed, it was just you and Haechan.

After checking in everyone filtered off to their rooms leaving the both of you to freely do whatever you wanted - within reason of course. You both got changed, your gaze admiring the hard lines of Haechans back. “Don’t stare.” He blushed, wrapping a towel around his upper body.

You pulled on your bikini which made Haechan go silent. You specifically picked this one because it brought out your skin tone well, and cupped your features beautifully. “Now who’s staring?”

It never failed. The butterfly feeling you got in the pit of your stomach when Haechan watched you with loving eyes. You wrapped a towel around your waist, allowing Haechans eyes to roam the tops of your breasts, peeking out from the almost too small bathing suit.

His cheeks turned pink once he noticed he was caught, “Let’s go”.

The hallways were quiet since it was almost midnight, so you wordlessly made your way down the stairs and out into the night air. It had grown considerably cooler than when guys first arrived that morning, but the sky made up for it. Pretty stars pricked the vast expanse of dark blue and black infinity. You could see the moon peaking out from behind a single cloud, casting a shadowed glow on Haechans honey skin.

The gate was closed when you walked up to it so you stopped to read, “Aw man, the pool closed an hour ago,” You set your lips in a pout, “no wonder the lights weren’t on.”

“Hey it’s okay, no lights, no cameras, they probably wont even notice we’re here if we keep quiet.” He moves closer to you, eyebrows raised expectant for an answer.

You hesitated wondering if you really could pull it off, after all you’d been looking forward to this for the whole day, “I don’t wanna get in trouble..”

“You said you wanted to swim and I’m going to make sure that happens,” He gets down on one knee, “step on my leg, I'm gonna help you jump the fence.”

He boots you over, and grabs your arms to help lower you on the other side, but his hand slips and his nails dig into your shoulder. “Ow, fuck.” You wince rubbing the spot he scratched.

“Sorry, sorry” He says giggling, jumping the fence with such quietness and ease that it looked unreal. “Come on, dare you to do a canon ball!?”

He ran ahead throwing his towel on one of the pool chairs and jumping in the water. You cringe away from the loud slap his body hitting the water made. You walk slowly to the chair, deeply inhaling the addictive chlorine scent.

He finally stands up waist deep in the water and pushes his hair back. The blue water reflected against him, making his skin sparkle. “Come into the water y/n” he splashed some water into your general direction, but not enough to touch you.

“Okay, Okay.” You drop the towel and slip into the water. It was cold. Really cold. You gasp and recoil away, but not fast enough, because Haechan has wrapped his arms around you and started carrying you towards the deep end. You struggle a bit in his grip but his arms provide an iron cage that you can’t get out of. “Haechan let me go!”

He presses a warm kiss to the back on your neck but doesn’t comply with your wishes, instead making a curve and bringing you towards the underwater benches. He fixes his hold on you so that now he’s carrying you bridal style. You stare up at him, water droplets falling off his chin. His eyes were already red from the chlorine and you hoped that it cleared up by tomorrow nights concert. His plush lips sat in a pout, strong jaw set. He was so very pretty; and all yours. You smiled to yourself, deciding to keep that image locked away in your memory forever.

Once he gets to the benches he sets you down and glides in beside you. “You know It’s colder than I thought it was going to be.” He lifts a hand and sheepishly rubs the back of heck, “and you look way hotter in that bikini than I thought you would.”

“I don’t know if that’s supposed to be a dig or a compliment.” You scoot closer to him so that your thighs were pressed against each other. Finding his hand underwater, you intertwine your fingers with his own.

“A compliment babe.” He chuckles and slouches in the water so that only his head sat above it. You both sit there for a moment until it becomes too cold to sit still.

“Well I’m going to put it to use and go swim.” You push off from the cement and paddle around. The only way to stay slightly warm was to keep moving. Haechan watched you, eyes crinkled in a smile, bottom lip caught between his teeth. It was fun to watch you play in the water but the bathing suit was making him think of other things you two could be doing.

And that was how it stayed. Haechan watching while you performed for him.

A while had passed, the calm exterior of the pool getting to you, making you drowsy. The cold blue water washed over your hands while you gently skimmed the surface, making your way over to where Haechan was. You hummed a short tune under your breath, trying to keep yourself distracted. it was close to one in the morning now, but Haechan still sat on the bench, slightly shivering from the brisk air, hands gripping his thighs under the water while his mind wandered far away from the present.

“Watcha thinkin’ about” you ask, moving closer to him, hoping to catch some lingering body warmth.

“Fucking you ,” he moved off the seat and dove under the surface, only leaving small ripples in his wake. You stand there for a second wonder how he could be so blunt, so forward in his desires; he was never like this.

He swam a single circle around your body before popping up in front of you, giving you a mini heart attack. He pushes you back against the tiled walls, “I’ve spent the last hour thinking about fucking you. Thinking about how pretty you’d sound.” His head dips down to kiss along your collarbone, and your hands grab the back of neck, holding him there while his tongue sucked bruises into your tender skin. His hands grazed the bare skin of your arms, giving you goosebumps.

He moaned into the side of your neck, biting and sucking away, wanting you to yearn for him like he did for you. He lifted his head so that his mouth hung over yours, his small puffs of breath fanning over your face while he tests the waters. “Can I kiss you?”

Without giving him an answer you pull him closer by the roots of his hair. His kissing was messy and sweet, and while your tongues moved together, his hips began rubbing circles against you, trying to gain some friction in the cool water. Small heavy breaths were the only sound you could hear, aside from the occasional splash as Haechan moved restlessly.

Your hand wandered down his chest and below the surface to where you could feel him straining against his shorts. You began to stroke him over the fabric, his hips pushing against your touch. He broke the kiss to watch as you peeled down the elastic from his hips, his cock freed from the restricting material of his swim shorts. You watched him twitch slightly as the cold water met his length.

“You can’t make any noise.” You place a single finger against his lips.

“No promises.” He whispers, a devilish smirk breaking way on his face. His hands caress you thighs, pushing your bottoms to the side. The cold water hit you, making you gasp and push into Haechan who just whimpers against your touch.

He tried to stay quiet, only soft grunts between gritted teeth and muffled moans as his hips pushed into your own. The water created resistance but it just enhanced how good he was feeling. He hurriedly grabs at your legs, pulling them up so that they sat around his waist. Your back dragged up the tiled walls, scraping your tender skin, but you could only focus on Haechans cock thrusting deeply in and out of you. He stared longingly into your eyes, filling you up completely, wanting to savor the way they fluttered in the back of your head.

“You love the way I fill you up huh?” He groans into your ear, a hand falling forward to grip the cement ledge of the pool.

You couldn’t respond without fear of moaning so you nod your head wildly. He began to bite and suck at your collarbone, pushing you closer to the edge. Looking down he sees your nipples, erect, poking through the wet fabric of your bathing suit. His eyes grow wide, hips stuttering into you. Fuck you were hot.

“Haechannie, I think I’m going to come.” You squeezed your eyes shut trying to focus on the feeling coiling in your stomach.

“Not yet.” He growls, hands moving to pin your wrists against the cement ledge, “Hold it princess, I know you can.” The water began to slosh around faster as Haechan thrusted harder into you. The sound was so loud its no wonder you didn’t hear the keys jangling against the hip of the guard making his way towards you two.

“Hey!,” he shouts running towards you, “The pool is closed! Get out! Are you two-” He didn’t get a chance to finish his sentence as you and Haechan spring up out of fear and take off. It was easy to push yourself up onto the pool deck. The guard made the mistake of following you two and leaving the gate unattended. You and Haechan ran out, giggling, making your way back into the hotel. You didn’t stop until you got into the room and slammed the door behind you.

With your heart hammering in your chest you lean against the dark cherry wood . “Holy fuck we could’ve gotten in serious trouble.” You gasp out, clutching a hand against your wet bathing suit top.

“Babe we’ll be gone by morning, no one is gonna know.” Haechan paces in front of you trying to catch his breath. His shorts hung dangerously low on his hips, it was miracle he got them up in time.

“We’re so banned from this hotel.” A knock on the door makes you jump away from it, the worst of punishment's filling your mind. What were they going to do? They couldn’t arrest you, could they?

Haechan walks forward and turns the knob slowly, revealing a sleepy Doyoung. His oversized t-shirt hung off one shoulder showing off his gaunt collarbone. He was rubbing the sleep from his eyes.

“What do you want Doie?” you ask softly.

“How was getting chased by the guard?” he gives a sleepy chuckle, still half in his dreams.

“How did you-,” A look of realization hits Haechan, “You reported us?” He whined, pushing Doyoungs bare shoulder so that he stumbled back.

“Sound travels over water dumbasses and you guys were loud, I was trying to sleep!” Protesting, he pushes Haechans wet shoulder back.

“Well, now we’re going to be twice as loud.” Haechan slams the door in Doyoungs face and grabs you, throwing you on the bed. You give a squeal, and hear Doyoungs fist hit the door.

“I swear I’ll make a noise complaint.” He sounded more irritated than sleepy now.

“Go ahead, you’re just mad I’m getting laid and you aren't.” You playfully slap Haechans arm, but he nips at your hand. The other side of the door grows silent, Doyoung either going to report you two, or going back to his room defeated.

“Shall we pick up where we left off princess?”

[achillieus]

let you down. (sebastian stan x reader)

summary: it's a universal truth but it's worth repeating; feelings eat us raw. or just an actor and a girl falling in and out of love over the course of three months.

(this was inspired by sebastian's visit to greece for his movie, monday, and is based on that, so that means in the story we’re in 2018. also i have this posted on ao3 too but while i’m writing the last parts i thought of posting it here too)

pairing: sebastian stan x reader

warnings: alcohol, sexual references, implied depression, don’t kill me because of the ending, sebastian and reader are the definition of right person wrong time, it's kinda slowburn because i love the yearning, also this part has some funny moments but overall it’s a big SOB

part: 6/6 (there will also be an epilogue)

(other parts)   (masterlist)

This is how it ends: broken hearts from crashed dreams.

Sebastian holds you until his muscles ache and your lungs burn from the feeling of too little oxygen. It is cold and dark, almost midnight, too dark, a starless night.

No more stars for you and I.

“Here,” Voice hoarse, eyes heavy-lid and itching from almost crying. He gives you one of the rings he wore in the movie. “I want you to keep this.”

Keep it close to your heart. Forget me not.

He takes a breath and a step back, tries to regain all the strength he still has, steady feet and shoulders fixed. He digs his nails into his palms, red marks in his skin, air catching in his throat, he’s on the verge of falling but he stays standing.

He remembers tears glistening down his cheeks, maybe they were yours not his, and the cold autumn wind hitting his face and he remembers feeling like he’s dying.

And then he closes the door of Argyris’ car and looks at you.

And his heart stretches and stretches and stretches and then somehow splits in half.

/

It goes like this:

There’s a ghost that lives in your apartment from now on. In the living room. Sitting on the couch. And it has steel blue eyes and a familiar heart. And it whispers a love story, half-finished, and you cannot make it stop.

The ghost touches your collarbone and he’s gone but there’s a ring in a golden chain around your neck and a white shirt forgotten in your laundry. And it smells like him. The clinging scent of his aftershave sticking to your pores. Eucalyptus. And no matter how hard you try to wash it off, it still lingers.

How could I ever forget someone like you?

The ghost lives here, but the place is empty, so empty. And it’s hard not to cry.

/

Sebastian calls and texts a lot.

He tells you he’s tired but excited because he started filming a new movie. It’s very indie and experimental, I can’t wait for you to see it. He tells you he’s missing his days in Greece like hell and that one night he dreamt of you. Didn’t want to wake up. What he doesn’t tell you is that he’s coming back in a month, Argyris needs him for some extra scenes. It’s nearly killing him but he doesn’t tell you. He wants to surprise you, see the pure light in your eyes when they’ll meet his.

/

You try sexting. It doesn’t go very well.

23:50, sebastian: if you were here in my bed right now what would you be doing

06:51, you: probably falling asleep hahaha

06:51, you: oh fuck was i supposed to sext back

06:51, you: sorry seb i just woke up and i have a class in an hour, love you <3

23:52, sebastian: fuck timezones

/

(three weeks and 10 seconds later)

“I can’t believe she doesn’t know you’re here,” Argyris shakes his head as he’s driving home from the airport, “If I were her, I’d kill you.”

“Good thing I didn’t fall in love with you.”

Sebastian laughs and looks out of the car window. The stars. There are so many stars tonight. He holds his breath; he’s finally feeling whole again. His heart isn’t split in two anymore.

/

You don’t know how long you stand there at your door, staring at him, but it feels like a century before he grins, almost laughs, takes your hands in his and you start considering that perhaps this isn’t a hallucination. Perhaps it’s real.

“Surprise?”

Something inside of you bursts, your organs twitch. You can’t think, you can’t speak, but you can move. You don’t lose any more time, you take a step forward, attach your bodies, your face buried in his neck, your fingers clutching into the rough fabric of his jacket. You breathe him in like an antidote.

“How?”

“Does it matter?”

“No.”

You kiss him and it’s like poetry, like art, like honey and you can’t separate yourself from him, not even hours later.

/

(looking back, these were the golden days)

You pretending to be mad at him for not telling you he was coming back and him pressing his lips on your skin, drawing patterns on your naked shoulder. A feathery touch.

Sebastian always touches you like you’re something made of gold and porcelain, something cherished that constantly needs to be treasured. And nobody has done that before. And you love him for it.

You try to decorate your Christmas tree together. He messes with the lights for a while, eventually gives up and goes on to eat too many reindeer shaped cookies.

He massages your muscles when you write a boring essay for college.

You go with him when he has to shoot a “driving a motorcycle naked in the centre of Athens” scene and you bite the inside of your cheeks to stop smiling like an idiot.

He gives you a dress he bought for you in New York.  

“You didn’t have to.”

“I know, but I wanted to.”

He calls you sweetheart in the mornings, still half asleep and later joins you in the shower.

“Why are you so hot?”

“Climate change”

“Oh, shut up”

It’s tender and it’s soft and it’s human.

And that’s the saddest part.

/

Soon you realize that him leaving two months ago was merely a rehearsal and you still haven’t said your actual goodbyes. Your chest starts to feel as if it’s full of crushed glass.

And it’s ridiculous because you fell in love with Sebastian sometime between the first ten days you spent together.

Who falls in love in ten days?  

Ridiculous or not, you know you are in love with him just as you know that sooner or later, whatever he is feeling will fade and wither. Maybe it’ll be in a week, maybe it’ll be in a month, maybe in a year if you’re lucky. But there will definitely come a day when he will step out of a gala or a party or a fancy gym in New York with a beautiful model in his arms and two paparazzi’s following him around.

What will you be then?

A past small cameo in his life. A side character. Will he remember your name?

He is your whole world.

(a bottle of cheap prosecco helps you decide that)

He is your whole world.

And yet, there will come a day when he won’t even remember your name.

/

It was difficult. No, it was the most difficult thing you’ve ever done. Telling him how you think it’d be better if you didn’t talk after he leaves.

“I don’t agree with this.”

“Seb, it’s for the best.”

Your body doesn’t feel strong enough to carry your heart. And you’re certain it will only get worse once he’s away. The world around you will melt. You’ll obsess over a phone screen and his messages. You’ll start chasing ghosts again. You can’t handle that.

“Why?” He says urgently and his fingers dance over the flesh of your palms.

“Because this”, you motion your hand between the two of you, “is the most beautiful thing I’ve ever had in my life and I don’t want it to become ugly.”

He nods, he understands.

“I love you, you know,” he says smiling and tugs you closer to him, “And I may not be here to show you but I think I’ll love you for a long time.”

Your hand grips his waist right to the bones and something flares in your eyes, something wild that wrenches you around.

“I know, I’ll love you the same.”

“Maybe we’ll meet again.”

“Only if I’m the luckiest girl on the planet.”

He laughs and you look at him, fully aware he’ll be ripped out of your life like a page from a cheap leather notebook. And when you kiss for the last time, there’s a hole forming in your soul.

And just because endings don’t leave visible scars to one’s body and soul, that doesn’t mean the scars don’t exist. You know they do, because you feel the aching pain of every single one of them.

/

(every night when you close your eyes you see him)

(every night you look at the stars and think of him)

/

A month passes and Argyris asks you if you miss him.

“I don’t think I’ll ever stop.”

“He said the exact same thing.”

You tell him not to mention Sebastian again.

Two months pass and you need to stop stalking his instagram profile.

Three months pass and you almost text him.

Four months pass and you go to watch Endgame with some friends and you cry. You cry when Black Widow sacrifices herself and when Iron Man smiles at his wife while dying, and when Bucky Barnes appears on screen.

The others don’t understand and you don’t blame them.

Five months pass and Argyris’ girlfriend wants you to meet someone. A charming boy your age with blonde hair and a lip piercing.

And he's cute but you compare him to Sebastian even before he has the chance to say his name. His eyes are not the right shade of blue and he doesn’t look at you like you’re made of the world’s finest jewel.

And he doesn’t know any constellation names.

And then more than a year passes in a second and you learn to not look for him. Not anymore.

/

It’s early March 2020 and despite the rising fear of the upcoming pandemic, you’re doing well. Scars are starting to fade. And after spending two weeks in Prague, your best friend being there with an exchange program, Sebastian Stan is the farthest thing from your mind.

Until he literally comes crashing into you. At the airport.

No, it can’t be him.

You have your suitcase on one hand and a bottle of antiseptic gel on the other. He has two bodyguards on his sides and a black hoodie on.  And while half of his face is hidden behind a mask, you can see his eyes perfectly. A frozen lake in December. You would know those eyes in your deathbed, at the end of the world.

Your vision gets blurry and suddenly you feel cold.

He won’t recognize me, he can’t.

But then he looks at you and every memory you had buried inside of you resurfaces.

He motions to his guards to wait for him and he starts walking towards you. You breathe slowly, one breath at a time. He takes his mask off and you hesitate to take yours, not sure if you truly want him to see you.

You exchange the typical and very awkward hi, how are you, i’m glad you’re doing okay and then he smiles and it feels comfortable. Familiar.

It’s the whiff of another time that you always kept around. A reminder that you were once loved by a god.

“What are you doing here?”

“Filming Falcon and the Winter Soldier”

If you hadn’t unfollowed him on instagram, you’d known.

“Ah yes I heard about that, congrats.”

He nods a thank you.

“And you? In Prague?”

“I was at a friend.”

He looks conflicted, hurt, turns his gaze to his shoes on the grey cement. You want to say something, but you feel like throwing up.

And then he laughs.

“I was right.”

You’re confused, he notices.

“Back in Greece,” he swallows, “I told you this would happen.”

“It would have been an airport, different gates for each of us, but same waiting hall. Or a Greek island, where we’d both be for the summer.”

“I would have found you.”

You remember and you cannot help but smile. He was right. He found you.

“I didn’t believe you then.”

I barely believe you now.

He touches your hair. And his touch is like a knife. And you want to cry. Magnolias under your tongue. A love long lost is whispering in your ears until it hurts to listen. He’s like a magnetic field and you feel yourself drowning in him.

“I bet they’ll ask me a hundred questions about you later.” He says and looks at the two men waiting for him.

“And what will you tell them?”

“That you’re most probably the love of my life.”

Don’t cry, don’t cry.

“There’s no way we’d meet here if you’re not.”

“Sebastian,” His name sounds like a prayer coming out of your lips and you're ready to tell him you love him and you can swear he looks like he’s ready to faint, “I-”

The guards yell his name. And it's the same feeling people have just before a car crash.

“I’m sorry, I have to go.”

One last look.

Don’t cry, don’t cry.

You repeat it over and over again. But you fail.

“No, don't cry” He smiles, one last smile, “Just look at the stars and wait for us to meet again, because we will.”

He caresses the back of your palm for a second and you think your ribcage is shattering but it’s only your heart drumming frantically. Pushing your fragile bones to break. 

You want to stop him, wrap your arms around his torso, never let him go. Not again. But you don’t.

You just watch him leave, one more time, your knees weak, your head heavy and dizzy. For the split of a moment he turns and glances at you but then he’s nowhere to be seen.

Perhaps it was all in your imagination. Perhaps it was nothing but a wonder.

You get into your plane and you silently sob.

/

And then it’s summer.

And you overhear he was seen with a girl, the day before your vacation starts and you find a picture of them together a week later, a pretty blonde girl clinging to his side with a colorful bikini somewhere in Spain. And he’s smiling. And you feel so ashamed. And so stupid.

They say time heals all wounds but they must be wrong because you can’t forget how he used to smile at you or how he used to call you the love of his life.

Was he joking when he said you'll meet again? You bet if you asked him now, he wouldn't even remember saying it.

I’ll love you for a long time.

So long for nothing.

/

i really appreciate feedback, it motivates me tons and also tell me if you’d like to be tagged :) also i’m really sorry if you asked me to tag you and i didn’t  but i lost a lot of asks and the urls of the people that sent them :( 

tagging: @lharrietg @awkward117 @dannaloureen @broccoligf @cutestfangirlvevo @caitdaniels @arymb @buckybarnesishot310 @roguesthetic @itsaliceheree @sara-1705 @dorothea-hwldr @freshfreakoaftrash @drinkfantasy @christinamcdonnell ​@partypoison00 ​ @90ssantiago

[angelicmichael]

living after midnight

Brooke Thompson x Montana Duke

Summary: Brooke and Montana get a bit intoxicated and get a bit carried away while going night swimming. Based off this post I made a week ago hehe

Words: 3.1k+

Warnings: mentions of alcohol and also vague mentions of weed, stripping (no nudity tho LOL), lotssss of sexual tension, lots of fluff, slowburn, friends to lovers, weird yearning angst for like .02 seconds lmao

A/N: Hey guys, sorry if this is random but I got random inspo for brotana so.. here this is lmao. Believe it or not I did try to make this under 1k words but.. I got carried away so I’m sorry that’s it’s long 😭. But the fic happens sometime after Brooke and Montana meet but before any camp redwood fuckery happens lmao. Anyway I hope y’all like this!! This is also probably the fastest I’ve ever written a fic so I hope it’s atleast decent haha. Anyway enjoy <3

A gentle breeze danced against Brookes exposed skin. The midnight air cold on its own regard but it seemed to blend perfectly with the extensive heat that radiated from the bonfire she sat in front of.

The night was entirely pitch black. The moon was vacant from the sky, leaving the only source of light to come from the giant fire that sat at Brookes shoes.

It was admittedly a bit unsettling being in almost the total darkness, especially with how many girls had recently gone missing in L.A as of late but the beer in her system had mostly put those thoughts to rest. Plus, being with three men and Montana was also reassuring. Even if she didn’t exactly know Xavier, Chet or Ray that well but.. she knew Montana.

It was nearly impossible to forget about how they met.. in the girls locker room in the showers and well; it’s not as if things were any less weird now. Showers or not.

It’s not as if Brooke and Montana were best friends or super close, because that definitely wasnt the case; but they weren’t acquaintances either by any means. The weird tension and ‘playfulness’ that lied between them ruled out being friends.. or that’s Brooke liked to think anyway when she had one too many things to drink. Like now.

Her legs twitched a bit restlessly; content at the ambience that surrounded her but not content with her current state of being. Like how she knew she should be enjoying herself, drunk, not caring about particularly anything at all but instead all she could do was fucking care. Her thoughts were purely infiltrated with Montana and it was embarrassing, to say the least but now that she was intoxicated there was really no harm in fighting it. No matter how annoying and taunting those thoughts truly were.

After all, Why should she not think about how nice it would be to feel Montana’s hands (which she knew had to be soft and delicate) on her waist and down her back? Why should she not think about Montana’s soft lips moving against her own, a few strands of her bleached hair (which definitely had lost it softness due to excessive over bleaching) brushing up against her face accidentally?

That was a rhetorical question; because she knew exactly why she avoided those type of thoughts on a normal day to day basis. Not because it would make things awkward between them but because it was beyond fucking painful to imagine scenarios that would never happen.. Never.

The smell of the fire and the sounds of the wood crackling, which was far too dry and poorly stacked (neither Xavier, Chet or Ray could build a proper fire to save their life), helped bring Brooke out of her thoughts and bit more into reality. So did the gentle sway of the tree branches which she could see in her peripheral vision, since they were right on the cusp of a forest that cut off to a beach. Ocean waves which slowly dragged across the sand were also soothing to listen too, albeit distant over the sound of Brookes friends screaming and laughing and being heavily intoxicated over what was more than just alcohol and weed.

Brooke reached down and swiftly grabbed the beer can which was previously lodged upright in the sand. Lifting the can up to her lips and cringing and unconsciously tensing up as she swallowed until the can was nearly weightless - wiping her mouth with the back of her hand just to see-

“Montana?!” Brooke nearly yelled. Both alcohol and temporary shock making her speak way louder than what was realistically needed.

Montana, who was previously standing several feet away with the boys was suddenly seated right next to Brooke on the log with no warning. Probably having moved over while Brooke was poorly chugging the alcohol she hated.. but she couldn’t help but to notice that their thighs (as well as basically their entire sides) were touching as she tried to wipe the alcohol that had embarrassingly dripped down her front in a frenzy.

Chet and Xavier looked back at them from a few feet away as they smoked what Brooke knew had to be a joint. Briefly laughing and giving the pair of women an amused glance before turning around and immersing themselves in whatever conversation they were previously having.

Brooke sheepishly met Montana’s gaze, feeling her cheeks grow nearly unbearably hot at the awareness that she was now being watched.. studied almost.

“Sorry,” Brooke added with a giggle.

Montana responded with a slight upturn of her lips; amused with Brookes actions not because she found it necessarily funny or pitiful, but for the sole reason that.. it was cute and endearing that Brooke couldn’t really hold her alcohol for shit.

It made her unique and different from everyone else Montana acquainted herself with. People that Montana had to basically learn to keep up with.. but Brooke on the other hand was different.. She was a breath of fresh air, and that’s why Montana assumed she was so attracted to her (besides her looks, of course).

Montana tried her best to ignore and not be bothered by the fact that Brooke was wasting perfectly good alcohol by wiping it off herself (alcohol that Montana wouldn’t necessarily mind licking off Brookes lips.. or her neck, or really anywhere else off of her). Instead focusing on how suffocated she felt here.

It wasn’t necessarily anyone’s fault. After all; she loved Chet, Xavier and Ray dearly but.. they were also undoubtedly preventing anything from happening between her and Brooke.. and that needed to change.

Montana huffed. Her deep brown eyes quickly flickering at the flame and then Brooke before speaking.

“Im bored,” she announced. Suddenly standing up and not letting her eyes break the gaze she suddenly held with Brooke.

Brooke responded with a simple hum. Her jaw quickly dropping once she noticed that Montana’s bright red nails quickly darted down under her own shirt. Hooking the material under her fingertips before quickly raising the shirt up and over her head. Throwing it back somewhere behind the log Brooke still sat on.. somewhere where Brooke was almost certain Montana wouldn’t be able to locate later.. which was probably done on purpose.

Brookes jaw still stayed ajar when she saw Montana’s hands automatically fly down to the small jean shorts she was wearing. She could do nothing but watch as she saw the button unhook- wait.. what exactly was happening?

“Montana, what are you doing?” Brooke asked with a laugh.

Brooke tried her best to fight the urge to look at her friend who was now well.. in her bra and underwear, out of what she was trying to convince herself was respect, but it wasn’t working. She knew for a fact her cheeks had to burnt bright fucking red; she tried to laugh off the feeling but Montana still stared.. her smile slowly growing wider until sudden laughter momentarily broke the tension again.

Brooke and Montana both looked behind them just to find the boys laughing and whooping as well at Montana’s sudden lack of clothes.

Brooke smiled back at them but it only lasted a second before she found herself overtaken with a emotion she never really felt around Montana before.. was it jealousy?

Just the sight of them staring at Montana (who obviously didn’t give a fuck, or was thriving off the attention more than anything) was enough to make Brooke stand up.

“Go swimming with me?” Brooke suddenly proposed. More than certain that her sudden impulsivity was coming from the alcohol more than anything.. it had to be, right?

Brooke looked Montana in the eyes again as she watched the other woman’s expression suddenly change at her words; looking utterly shocked and.. maybe a bit thrilled.

“You want to go swimming?” Montana nearly sneered, her tone reeked off utter disbelief, “and what are you gonna wear?”

Brooke laughed at what the other woman was implying. Her dark brown eyes slipped down to admire the rest of Montana’s body that she dared not to look at previously. Only looking for a second at the matching cherry red set that Montana wore. A bra which was most definitely too tight and cut a bit small, along with a thong with sat a bit high on her hips which only accentuated her figure even further.

She didn’t have time to think; her eyes darting back up to meet Montana’s which she knew were watching her.

“I’m not going naked-“

“You don’t have too. It’s not like their gonna see us anyway once we get away from the fire. Here.”

They both spoke in hushed whispers. Weirdly paranoid that maybe the boys would overhear and wanna join which- was something they both clearly didn’t want, although unspoken.

The distance between them was minimal enough due to alcohol (and other substances in Montana’s case) running high in their systems. Making personal space something that was now nonexistent.

Montana extended her hand out to Brooke to take. She quickly grabbed her hand, hoping desperately it wasn’t sweaty from how close they were to the fire and also.. just from the situation she was bound to find herself in. But due to Montana’s reaction (or lack thereof) she knew she had nothing to worry about.. sweaty palms or not, she knew Montana wouldn’t judge her. No matter how insane the circumstance; Brooke always felt safe around Montana. That’s why she supposed she was currently following her into the pitch black - her vision getting more and more sparse as they walked away from the fire and into some nearby trees that framed the beach..

“Are you sure they can’t see me?” Brooke asked, trying her best to look through the trees and see if any of her friends happened to be looking but - she couldn’t really make out anything besides the subtle outline of her surroundings which included Montana.

“They can’t see you. Relax,” Montana said with a giggle. “Now do I need to help you undress? Your taking forever and I’m hot- and it’s not like I haven’t seen you wearing less-“

Brooke tried her best to look offended and shocked by her reference to how they met. She knew that normally with nothing in her system she would’ve easily sidestepped Montana’s ruthless flirting but.. something felt different about tonight. After all; why should she keep trying so hard to resist something they both felt? And it wasn’t like anyone could see them anyway..

Brooke quickly turned her head to where she knew Montana was and stepped closer until they were barely a foot apart. Her feet nearly stumbled on Montana’s from the proximity; biting her lip to prevent herself from stupidly giggling once she felt hot breath on her cheek.

She grabbed Montana’s hands which first held hers back limply but briefly held hers tighter before Brooke directed her hands on her shirt.

“Take it off,” Brooke uttered. Her voice barely audible but not quite loud enough to be discerned as a whisper.

Montana didn’t hesitate as she quickly took Brookes shirt off, barely feeling the soft fabric against her fingertips before she quickly threw it behind them into the forest. Montana didn’t wait for Brooke to say anything before her fingers were quickly undoing the button and the zipper of her jean shorts which were only thrown somewhere in the forest as well (hopefully near her shirt.. Brooke could only hope).

Brooke tried her best to not look bothered by her sudden lack of clothes but she also knew that was purely idiotic since they were in the pitch black.

Nevertheless she looked down at herself, trying to discern whether her figure was actually visible or not but Montana grabbed her hand again. Making her gaze snap upward as she led her out. She knew they were going out to the water now; the sand under her feet and the fire now visible from a distance as they continued to go out. The sand becoming more grainy and nearly painful to step on as they got closer to the water.

Brooke quickly looked over her shoulder before she took the first step in - still holding onto Montana’s hand. She quickly glanced to see if any of the men they had came with were watching but surely enough they were still talking and laughing as if they didn’t even notice they had gone missing.. and they probably hadn’t given how fucked up they were.

Perfect.

She continued to hold onto Montana’s hand as she went further and further into the water; not phased by the sudden coolness she felt as the water wrapped around her legs.. submerging her further and further until they both finally stopped. The water lapping around Brookes waist, and well, nearly Montana’s chest since she was a few inches shorter than Brooke.

The water seemed to be a perfect temperature despite them being at the ocean; and the rocks had since disappeared under their feet and changed back into soft sand which also made the current situation a bit more enjoyable.

Brooke tilted her head back a bit, worried momentarily that her hair might get wet but it was worth it. It was absolutely breathtaking.

The night sky which previously looked completely black and void of any light whatsoever was now painted with what looked to be a million stars.

“Do you see this?” Brooke asked.

“What, the stars?” Montana answered, her voice holding a bit of amusement to it and almost as if she was trying to hold back a laugh.

“Yeah,” Brooke affirmed with a nod. Still keeping her gaze fixated to the night sky.

“What about them?” Montana asked.

The water rippled a bit as Montana started to a take a few steps closer towards Brooke, dissatisfied at the distance between them.

“Nothing. I just- it’s beautiful. I never do things like this,” Brooke responded, tilting her head down to make eye contact with Montana as she finished her sentence.

Montana smirked.

“Never?” She asked with a laugh. “C'mon. I’m not wet enough, let’s go deeper.”

Before Brooke could protest, Montana grabbed both of her hands and pulled her deeper in the water.

“But I didn’t bring a towel!”

“Your not gonna need one. We can warm up by the fire, remember?”

They continued to keep wading until the water almost spilled over Montana’s shoulders. The water barely touching Brookes collarbones but getting some of her hair wet regardless.

She hesitantly let go of the other woman’s hand in the water, intent on using her hand to help her gain balance since a few rocks were still on the ocean ground but - the exact opposite happened.

Brooke didn’t even have time to gasp or scream before her left foot quickly slid on a random rock that just.. of course.. had to fucking be there. Her hands quickly landed on Montana’s shoulders; the rest of her body accidentally falling into the other woman’s but she only felt Montana’s hands suddenly grab gently at her back. Holding her in place against her body.

Brookes eyes instinctively closed shut but when she slowly opened them and reluctantly lifted her head higher up (silently cursing herself for accidentally getting her hair almost entirely wet now) she noticed.. how close they were to each other.

Her nose was only centimeters away from Montana's shoulder.. which meant-

“Are you okay?” Montana asked softly, speaking unintentionally right next to her ear which made a shiver run up Brookes spine.

“Mhm,” Brooke responded.

She rose her head up further - her vision fully black now due to closing her eyes so tightly and being disoriented from slipping, but she knew from hearing Montana’s voice that she had to be close. Very close.

Moving her head a bit to the left.. almost microscopically, not wanting whatever ‘this’ was to necessarily be clumsy but she knew she didn’t necessarily have a choice in the dark.

“What are you doing?” Montana continued to whisper.

Brooke couldn’t help but to smile and let out a giggle that made her sound far more drunk than she actually was. She knew exactly where Montana’s lips were now due to her speaking. Thank god.

“You’ll see.”

Brooke leaned in slowly. Briefly bumping noses before catching Montana’s lips with her own. The feeling so heavenly and overdue - not enough but simultaneously far too much to take in all at once.

The taste of dull, gut wrenching beer started to flood her mouth. It was all that Montana basically tasted like.. that and a bit like smoke but Brooke didn’t mind. If anything it made the feelings of infatuation temporarily stronger. Brookes nails started to pierce the other woman’s back; wanting nothing more than to just have.. more. More of Montana; her taste, her hands, her touch.. the feeling was both pathetic but impossible to fight any longer.

The mere thought that this was something she was previously holding herself back from having was almost laughable but- that would be something to think about for another time.

Montana’s lips softly broke from hers.

“Eager.. aren’t you?” She teased.

Brookes eyes still refused to adjust but she knew Montana had to be grinning.

“Sorry.. I just-“

“Don’t be sorry. You have no idea how long I’ve been wanting to do that,” Montana said lowly.

Montana suddenly leaned in with no warning. Her hands softly grabbed Brookes shoulders; leaning in to pull her bottom lip with her teeth.

After she let go, the feeling to kiss her again was strong but.. she thought of something better. The thrill of the chase was something Brooke always enjoyed, after all.

Brooke took a few steps back suddenly before quickly heading for the shore. Not really going that fast at all due to the resistance of the water pushing up against her legs but she laughed regardless.

She could hear Montana laughing and calling her a jerk in the distance but it was all just noise at this point. Her voice, the water rushing, the fire and their friends (which grew gradually louder as she approached) all started to sound the same.

Maybe the alcohol was finally kicking in.

Even though Brooke definitely felt tipsy, she still felt nervous the closer she got from being fully submerged out of the water. Maybe it was due to the fact she wasn’t certain what was going to happen at the fire, or if their friends had even heard anything but she knew atleast now she would have Montana. Exactly how she had Montana was something to be determined later, but as she finally stepped out and away from the nearly black ocean waves and ran up to the fire to go wait for Montana - she was comforted by the thought that things would now never be the same and forever would be different between the two of them.

Which had to be a good thing; right?

Taglist: @michaellangdonstanaccount @langdonsexual @jimmason @blakescoven @dark-mei-rose @9layerdevilfoodcake @prophecy-is-inevitable @matildaofoz @beautyiswithinchaos @frenchlangdon @king-with-no-crovvn @melodylangdon @littledemondani @celestialrequiem @sojournmichael @ritualmichael @waitinvain @twilightzone24

Let me know if u would like to be added or removed to the taglist hehe

[pluviophile-imagines]

Could I ask what your sexuality headcanons are? I love comparing mine with other peoples’!

Ok second half of this; this is just like. non-students who i Actually have thought about HJBAFV not at all a comprehensive list. Again disclaimer i write all these chars as bi in my fics, also i am bi myself so the vast majority are also bi, and also leaving a lot of these vague so u can imagine ur favorite ship or urself or w/ever

ok lets start this off with Aizawa. I think....... hes another one who's rlly unlabelled, doesnt super care to think it through and define it, but calls himself gay bc his interest in women is very, very rare and it's just way easier to say than explain all that. Definitely do buy into the idea that he had a crush on Oboro in hs but i do NOT buy into the easermic agenda sorry. Definitely not someone who goes looking for dates, but doesn't say no if someone asks him and hes interested (also im not gonna give her a whole section but i saw a hc a while back that the Ms. Joke stuff is literally that shes a lesbian and hes gay and shes fucking with him and i love that so much i just wanted to put it out there)

on the topic of the erasermic agenda: Hizashi's pan and knew it before HS, had a sudden & intense crush on Aizawa for the first month they knew each other and then immediately got over it in favor of a similar sudden, intense, and then immediately fading crush on Midnight. Hizashi and Aizawa r just rlly good friends imo; maybe they messed around for a bit in their twenties but it never went anywhere serious. He dates around a lot, not even necessarily to settle down just to have some fun

Midnight is aro/ace but does get in qprs & gravitates towards women wrt that. Most people dont read vigilantes but theres a woman in that, Kazuho, who i imagine she's been in a long-term qpr with; her relationship with aizawa and hizashi leans a little more towards a qpr than a normal friendship, too, but it's not rlly defined that way

All Might is married to justice queer but v much not interested in relationships. He and that one guy from the first movie are ABSOLUTELY exes and i won't hear otherwise; it's the only relationship he's ever had, and they broke up bc he had to go back to japan. He was heartbroken but did eventually get over him; his lack of romance afterwards is from genuine disinterest and not being hung up on his past. I can see him finding someone else in his later years, after he's retired. Definitely feels like he's not worthy of it tho

Hawks is bi but unfortunately didn't get to figure that out until like Now in the timeline...... if youll let my dabihawks history shine through i think dabi was the reason JHBASFGJHB he was basically brainwashed by the commission to become a hero so he didnt have time to Figure That Shit Out; he knew he was into women bc that was easy & what the commission expected from him but then he started this undercover assignment and met dabi and realized Oh...... Fuck. Hawks is hard tbh, bc i think between the control that the commission has over him and his own convictions as a hero he doesn't pursue any romance (tho he does get crushes or find people attractive) and most of his flings are done to keep up his prettyboy act, not out of genuine interest in being a fuckboy. Can't imagine him having a relationship until well after canon but I do see him being interested eventually

Onto the villains, Shigaraki is unlabelled but probably would call himself queer if asked. Definitely admires women more but isn't very interested in romance; AFO actively encourages him to pursue the things interested in so imo if he were he'd talk abt it more lmfao. I kinda see him as demi as well, not the type to fall immediately but requiring a friendship beforehand; tho unlike Bakugo as i said in my last post I dont think it happens suddenly but rather slowly. Y'all know im a big fan of shigaraki being absolutely whipped for his s/o so i do thing hes a big piner, tho he's also pretty bold and unashamed of his affections. I'm a big fan of him falling for a member of the league or a civilian; definitely can't see him falling for a hero unless the hero was already halfway to turning sides already. I think he's also attracted to intelligence and someone who pushes him to think more abt his ideology...... maybe im just projecting at this point JSHDFBVAJKSHD but my point is that the gender of his partner is definitely the least of what he considers/notices

Dabi is bi and, here's my bold take, demisexual; not interested in sex unless its with someone he loves. Absolutely doesn't even think abt romance for most of the years where he's on his own. He's got revenge to plan. By the time he joins the league that hasn't changed much, and he's demi so he's not interested in sleeping around, plus he rlly denies any attachment to people at all. As I said in that other ask tho I do rlly like the idea of him with Magne, so I think they have a fling for a bit before her death :( it's one of the things that leads him to isolate himself further, unfortunately, even from Jin and the other League members with whom his relationships aren't romantic. I can see him dating someone post-canon bc i think hes gonna be redeemed lol. It could be someone he knew before but they probably didnt date again bc he was v guarded; i think magne was rlly the only person he dated

Magne is pan and heres the kicker: I think shes t4t, which led to a little moment just before she and dabi got together where he was like "she wouldnt be into me :/" but she was into him anyway so all was good. She got around in her circles, mostly casual stuff tho she yearned for something more serious.

Spinner's bi & trends towards women but does occasionally get things for men and they're almost always intense. He thought he was straight for a while even once he joined the league and then suddenly got a crush on Shigaraki (around the time of MVA) and realized otherwise LMFAO he's definitely a hopeless romantic type, the whole mutant prejudice thing makes it rlly hard for him and i can see him being rlly happy with another mutant-type; i feel like as he matures he starts to gravitate towards them

Toga is canonically pan to my understanding, iirc her interest in Uraraka and Deku is the same (and romantic) in canon tho i might be wrong. Poor girl just needs therapy. I like the idea of the two of them becoming her friends over her being involved with them but i totally can get behind her having a thing with Uraraka (and maybe Tsu) at some point post-canon (presuming she gets redeemed), tho I think a qpr between the two/three of them would be longer lasting. And again presuming she gets therapy i can see her settling down with someone, gender irrelevant

Jin is unlabelled bc he hasn't much thought abt it, definitely had a thing for dabi and for hawks which does make me sad on both counts. I think he likes women slightly more abstractly/aesthetically and gets crushes more on men,. The dabi thing fades as they get closer and start to view each other as brothers. In his later years he doesn't rlly care about romance, I think he enjoys the experience of crushing but doesnt like dating people; his found family in the League is far more important to him. But i can see him falling head-over-heels for someone quite suddenly and having a bit of a whirlwind romance. Also someone for whom gender isn't much of a factor

Mr Compress is also queer and also hasn't rlly thought abt it. Definitely leans more towards women; he's like 30 but i like to think he also goes for older partners, 10 or 15 years his senior KJBADSJFHB idk he just has that Vibe with the way he calls himself an old man etc. A lot of the league i cant see sleeping or dating around much, i feel like they prioritize each other, but I do think mr compress gets around more than the others. i can see him having a bit of a fuckbuddy who he catches feelings for

Kurogiri is fun; as Oboro I do think Aizawa's crush was reciprocated, tho he wasn't around long enough for them to act on it :( he's bi, tho kurogiri isn't supposed to have personal interests. I like to imagine the brainwashing isnt as good as AFO wants it to be tho so I like the idea of him falling for someone anyway. I also like the idea of the heroes managing to undo the nomufication and I 100% can see him, aizawa, and someone else (someone he was involved with as Kurogiri) ending up in a triad as a result of aizawa and the third partner helping him through the aftermath of all that shit

Lady Nagant is a manga-only minor character but im in love with her so imma talk abt it. Shes bi and leans VERY heavily towards women, probably spent years questioning whether she was rlly bi or a lesbian before finally having a fling with a guy that she genuinely enjoyed. Has only ever been in long-term relationships with women and I v much think she has a gf at home who stayed even when she was arrested 🥺

Finally imma talk abt Natsuo bc i love that boy. He's one of the few unmarried chars with a love interest and he canonically has a gf. I do see him as IDing straight in canon ngl, but the kind of straight where he might actually be bi but his preference leans so heavily towards women and he grew up in a bad home so he just doesnt rlly think abt it bc hes v happy with women anyway. In shiganatsu thoughts shigaraki is the first man he has a thing for; i rlly can see the two of them in a triad with a woman specifically, who helps the two of them find each other and is the one who initiates bc its definitely a weird situation for natsuo

[nycorix]

I made this ghost/22 playlist on a whim after reading Archivist Wasp/Latchkey for the first time, and I haven’t been able to stop making playlists for this fandom since 😂 

I like to curate my playlists into stories/character deep dives, so all of them are ordered and I have specific thoughts about each song! I’ve posted some of my playlists on Twitter already, but this feels like a good place to put those specific thoughts lmao so here goes Title: Carrion Boy Description: A ghost/22 playlist that’s got songs for both his timelines, all mixed up and shaken together just like him oops

1. Roll Call [the neighbourhood] 22's whole existence while living 2. Falling Off [the people's thieves] The ghost's whole existence since dying 3. I'm So Sorry [nico collins] 22 @ The Director/Latchkey 4. Bullet [riot child] 06/22's uhhh unique relationship with both each other and their circumstances 5. Say You Believe [midnight divide] 22's (platonic!!!!) strong feelings for Kit 6. 1x1 [bring me the horizon, nova twin] The ghost's misery strong platonic feelings regarding Foster's memory loss 7. Blue (Da Ba Dee) [jonathan young, toxic eternity, travis carte] This song is as chaotic as he feels to me, flawless external calm and grace but always internally screaming 8. No Mercy [zayde wølf] …….22. It's just 22/ghost's fighting style (especially when fighting 06 lmao) 9. Solo [prismo] 22 honestly thinks he's so hardcore (he's not wrong but also. Drama king much) 10. Where The Lonely Ones Roam [digital daggers] Kit @ 22, Ghost @ Foster. This one gives me chills ngl 11. When Dragons Cry [bo johnson] 22&06's requiem for the latchkey ghosts 12. Stampede [alexander jean, lindsey stirling] For this one I'm literally just picturing 06/22 wasting a bunch of mechs/ghosts/whatever, specifically That One Scene in Firebreak/AW flashback where they destroy the mechs and look appallingly cool doing it 13. City of the Dead [eurielle] The ghost in the ghost-place 14. Kill the Lights [the birthday massacre] He has such intense self-hatred/repression/bitterness and this song represents All That 15. In the End [linkin park] This is literally what happened to 06 and his feelings about it

16. Hurts Like Hell [fleurie, tommee profitt] This song perfectly captures his grief and his way of dealing (lol) with it 17. Neon Ocean [new dialogue] ...his grief/PTSD, continued 18. Sometimes [nick lutsko] 22 and 06 in Latchkey once they're the last ones left 19. Darkside [sam tinnesz] The ghost considering his life/death/etc. 20. Now That We’re Alone [the people’s thieves] 22/the ghost’s mental landscape (y i k e s) 21. Pompeii [bastille] "Oh, where do we begin? The rubble or our sins" i meAN 22. March [jesse abbey] The whole supersoldier thing doesn't really leave you in death, turns out 23. Wolves [selena gomez, marshmello] the ghost's tragic journey to find Foster 24. Man or a Monster [sam tinnesz, zayde wølf] 22′s not great at self-concept and It Shows 25. Centuries [fall out boy] 22's opinions on Latchkey and the director's ghost 26. Stronger [the score] 22 in life at all times/the ghost, upon realizing he's a ghost lmao 27. Be Free [the tech thieves] 22 and 06's yearning for freedom while in Latchkey 28. Echoes [fenris] Everything he was and everything he is, blending together 29. UNHOLY [the faceplants] 22/ghost's bittersweet manifesto lol. I strongly picture this playing over the scene where he snaps at the end of Firebreak and [redacted] everybody on sublevel A 30. Wrecked [imagine dragons] This is the ghost without Foster. 31. Forget [marina] His relationship with memory is Complicated 32. Monster in the Closet [subcon] ….22/ghost's bittersweet manifesto pt. 2. This is like a giant ‘fuck you’ @ the Director/Stellaxis/etc. 

[brynfelan]

I posted 1,373 times in 2021

358 posts created (26%)

1015 posts reblogged (74%)

For every post I created, I reblogged 2.8 posts.

I added 574 tags in 2021

#brainrot - 290 posts

#the idnek and bryn show - 48 posts

#answered - 44 posts

#ask game - 41 posts

#look it's rae! - 35 posts

#multi-fandom-trashbin - 28 posts

#kuzuhina - 28 posts

#danganronpa - 27 posts

#drabble - 18 posts

#what comes next - 15 posts

Longest Tag: 140 characters

#listen i know i should be writing but i havent slept in 36 hours and i need to stay awake for at least 4 more hours lest i wake up at 3am so

My Top Posts in 2021

#5

February 12th: Aesthetic

it turns out i can’t stop drawing soudam HUGGING. i love them SO MUCH. anyway, happy dangantines! enjoy!

sidenote: i know we’re all gushing over nagito with a ponytail, but PONYTAIL KAZUICHI is doing things for me that i didn’t know it would

39 notes • Posted 2021-02-12 21:20:16 GMT

#4

Whaddup, I forgot about day 2 of dangantines so here’s a cheeky little doodle of my BOYS (it’s meant to be just after Gundham wakes up, but could also be taken as during Despair or something like that). Have a good week I have NO idea what I’m doing tomorrow!

39 notes • Posted 2021-02-08 17:12:31 GMT

#3

i’m very upset that kuzuhina isn’t very popular because all i want is to sink 4 hours of my life into reading a balls long slowburn fic of them but it doesn’t exist on ao3 and i simply refuse to use wattpad. ff.net has provided no results or the highly specific thing that i want. my own fic is painful to read. aaaaaaaaa

42 notes • Posted 2021-02-03 08:20:59 GMT

#2

 kazuichi soda wearing gundham’s big coat that’s it that’s the post thank you

53 notes • Posted 2021-04-17 03:40:41 GMT

#1

ok I'm back with more assumptions: You're favourite trop is mutual pining, you love characters who are angry with a soft spot for one (1) person, your sleep schedule is trash (thats a fact, don't deny it, but your writing also has some chaotic 4am vibes (in a good way)), and you HATE miscommunication (sorry)

1. mutual pining is 100% my favourite trope. i LOVE pining AND yearning. 2. right this is a callout you’re RIGHT but you don’t have to come right out and say it like that. 3. yes. i have never written a single thing before midnight, and do not plan on doing so in the future. 4. miscommunication makes me SO FRUSTRATED and i HATE it but also i love it in fics even though it makes me want to slam both pairs of the ship into a wall and tell them to get their shit together

85 notes • Posted 2021-02-18 23:56:08 GMT

Get your Tumblr 2021 Year in Review →

[theautumnisnoble]

would've loved you for a lifetime

Summary:

Jiho looked to his left and afar. The light from the convenience store illuminated his stature and she tried all that she could to not mentally utter a compliment because it wasn't her place to do that anymore. She already let him go, she already hurt him— what right does she have to long for him?

-----------------------

or just a post-break up JiSolB fic

[Okay I just thought of this today and started to write it 3 hrs ago. This is my first angst so usdhuiashd idk if it would give justice to the genre. All mistakes are mine! No beta-ing so there may be typos.

"Happy" reading!]

Read it on AO3

It had been exactly 10 months since that ugly morning. That morning filled with tears, regret, heaviness that lasted even weeks after— it was a sunrise with darkness that escaped from the night.

But now she was happy.

But was she, really?

After graduating and passing the judicial exam she is now near to achieving her long life dream of becoming a judge. To finally make her mother shut up every time she tries to condescend her father, to stop her from reminding him of his past failures, to overshadow that by making her proud of her daughter's success. She finally can cross another in her lists of ambitions— but there were now questions she began to ask herself.

Am I supposed to celebrate this with someone?

Am I supposed to climb the stage hand in hand with someone?

Am I supposed to be in the middle with no one to dance with?

Sol B sits on the bench by a river and takes a sip from her juice carton. She takes in the freezing cold and let it escape with an exhale. Her thoughts were in havoc, those questions screaming in the silence. She's achieving every big thing that she ever wanted to achieve but why does it feel so—

it just feels so..

she feels so empty.

It's not the only time she felt like this. Right after she graduated from Hankuk Law, she sat on her dorm bed and just stared into space. She was happy, ecstatic even, but the void just started to pull her in and let her feel like everything she ever possessed and would ever posses wouldn't satisfy her.

She didn't want to be empty. She went through every bad thing to be here, with blood and bruises all over. She didn't want to spend midnights thinking of giving up just because she didn't feel like giving her best anymore. This wasn't her. She was supposed to be Kang Sol B— ambitious, prideful, cunning, smart and successful. But now, all she thought she ever was, was alone.

She was all alone.

Kang Sol B pulled herself out of her inner chaos and stood up, and pulled out her car keys. Her car pinged as she unlocked it and she tossed the empty carton into a bin beside the bench.

"Noona!"

She turned her head to see four people approaching her, clearly drunk except for one— Han Joon Hwi.

"Roomie! You didn't join us. "

"She's not your roommate anymore, Sol-ah." Han Joon Hwi looked at her with an amused smile and held her by her shoulders. Judging by his gentle demeanor towards her namesake, they were still together. Of course they would be, they were Han Joon Hwi and Kang Sol A— inseparable.

She can't say the same for herself and—

"It's a shame you didn't join us, Ye Seul really just said 'yes' to—"

"Hahahahahah." Bok Gi took 4 steps backwards and put his arm around Ye Beom. "All of us including Ye Seul noona had a good time earlier!"

Bok Gi pinched Ye Beom's shoulders and the latter grimaced with the pain.

"You heading home already?" Joon Hwi smiled at her. It was that same care-freeness that made her infatuated for the boy. But of course being her, she rebuilt her walls every single time they were about to break and she swerved falling too deep— except towards the other person.

"Ne. Take care, all of you." She drew out a smile on her face that gave everyone shock.

"Oh? My roomie smiled!" Sol A covered her mouth with a palm. "How adorable."

"And for the record Bok Gi, I already know. So you can let go of Ye Beom now." Bok Gi's eyes widened and Ye Beom struggled out of his grip.

"I'll be off now." Sol B was about to go inside her car but the curly-haired boy called her again.

"Are you okay Noona?" After hearing that Sol B turned her head around and raised an eyebrow.

"You, Bok Gi. Are you okay?"

"Yeah, for a long time now." he smiled and Sol B nodded at his answer. She went inside her car and started the engine.

It was a short drive on the way home, Sol B tried to push thoughts of that heartbreaking morning out of her head as they started to haunt her again, now that she was again vulnerable for the haunting, now that she felt like she was all alone and wished she wasn't.

And Bok Gi stood there, knowing Sol B didn't answer his question.

Kang Sol didn't know what to do, all she knows is that she's right in front of the person that used to be hers.

"Kang Sol."

He was only the one who didn't call her Sol B. She found comfort in that. She wasn't 'B' to him, she was just Kang Sol.

But she had to put on her strongest façade, she had to. Her emotions had no room in his life anymore, her pain would only be an inconvenience.

"Long time no see, Jiho-ya." She managed to say.

Jiho looked to his left and afar. The light from the convenience store illuminated his stature and she tried all that she could to not mentally utter a compliment because it wasn't her place to do that anymore. She already let him go, she already hurt him— what right does she have to long for him?

Jiho returned his attention to Sol and an icy breath escaped from his lips. His lips drew into a thin line, almost a smile. "You wanna talk?"

After hearing that, Sol B began to ask herself, "Do I want this?"

Do I need this?

But then she knew she sought closure. She knew she already needed to let go of the yearning that entrapped every cell in her body. She needed to stop the nights, where she longed for him, from reoccurring. She also needed to let go of the unnecessary anger that made her paint him as a villain after knowing he was with another now— because he wasn't. She was in pain and she was the one who let him go.

"Let's talk." So this was what she decided to answer.

It happened at the break of dawn.

Both of them laid on her bed, skin to skin. She sat up and looked down at him, knowing that she had to do what she was about to do.

"Mmm. Sol?" Jiho looked up at her with one eye open, and smiled. "What is this, you woke up before me?"

It was the morning after the night Kang Sol fought with her mom, and Jiho covered her, using his body as a shield from her mother's slaps. Her heart was torn into pieces as she saw Jiho inflicted by the pain that was supposed to be for her. She was showered with horror as a nail scratched Jiho's cheek and then her legs ultimately gave away. She stumbled and fell to the ground.

She heard Jiho calling out to her, his hands shaking her, and asking her if she was okay.

"I don't care what kind of jerk you choose to fool around with, but if you ever get any less than an A+ again, you're not my daughter anymore. I didn't raise you to be a dumb slut!"

"Eommeoni!" Jiho couldn't stand Sol's mother anymore.

"Don't call me that!" The door slammed after her mom went inside their house.

After that incident, Jiho took Sol back to her dorm room. It was empty, the other Kang Sol was celebrating the holidays with her family and Joon Hwi so she was left all alone there.

Jiho gently let her sit on her bed and cupped her face. "I'm here. I can take the hurt, I can protect you. "

But I can't let you get hurt. I can't let you be thrown stones at for my sins.

Sol B stared at the beau in front of her. She couldn't utter a single word because everything in her already decided it would be best to let go of him. To spare him from the chaos, to let him have the peace that she couldn't afford to give him— not in this lifetime. He already had enough of the pain, he already had enough of the suffering that he felt when his father passed away. She needed to do this.

But when should she? When would be the best time to break it off?

"Drink this. " Jiho handed her a glass of water and then stood up. "I'll leave you be for now. I know you need this." he started to walk towards the door.

"Just.... call me if you're ready for company." He laughs, his shoulder shaking as he tried to lighten up the sour mood.

Kang Sol wasn't yet ready to let him go so now something pushed her body towards him and she pulled Jiho into a deep, ardent kiss.

"Sol." Jiho said between kisses.

"I need you."

So she pulled his body into hers that night, and decided she would let him go the next morning.

"What?"

"I can't do this anymore."

"Kang Sol."

She looked at him, who just finished changing into his clothes. She liked hearing that from him. Only Kang Sol, never Sol B. Just Kang Sol.

But she immediately looked away. "I've been thinking about this for a long time now." Liar. "I want to break up with you."

"If this is about yesterday I—"

"No. I've wanted to break up with you for a long time now." Kang Sol was well aware of how she was rashly lying through her teeth, she hopes he won't notice this.

"No. You need time. I'll give you time. I'll call you exactly a month from now and tell you where to meet up."

"Seo Ji Ho."

"I'll go now."

Sol B was left there in the room, resolution unwavering. Even if she gets a call a month, or even a year from now, as long as her mom doesn't change she has no choice.

She needs to leave it all behind.

"You didn't really come that night." Sol didn't give in. On January 20, all she ever did was stare at her phone that was ringing, with Ji Ho's name on the bright screen.

"I told you I really wanted to break up with you."

A laugh escapes from Ji Ho's lips. "Yeah, I get that now."

"Jiho-yah."

Ji Ho turned to look at her. Both of them on swings and it was an ungodly night, with autumn leaves falling by their feet and the hint of cold air.

"I'm sorry for hurting you back then. " Sol stared down at the leaves by her feet. Her face trying to remain stoic after just releasing that one burden from her body.

There was nothing but silence. But instead of it troubling her, it was calming. She slowly relaxed and let her body sway with the swing a bit. Though her gaze was still avoiding him, she knew a tear would escape if she didn't.

"For the first few weeks, I didn't understand you at all. "

Sol froze.

"It was... heavy. You were all that I had. " Sol B looked at him now. "After that morning, I tried to convince myself that you were just so hurt and needed time. That you would immediately come to your senses, that you would call me and say sorry, that you didn't mean it."

"But then you really didn't answer my call. Or even come to Hankuk, where I told you I'd wait for you." Jiho now looked back at her. "But I get it now. It's not heavy anymore."

Jiho smiled at her and it broke her. It gave away that he was okay now, that he really doesn't love her that way anymore. That he was now happy with somebody else.

"You, are things better now?"

"Mom continued to have therapy. "

"That's good."

"I—I.." Sol tried to not let her emotions betray her. "I'm better now. I get to be a judge now and, things are starting to become better between mom and dad."

"I'm proud of you, Kang Sol."

That was it. A tear escaped and she cursed at herself for letting it fall. It was all she ever wanted to hear. She'd spent nights wondering if ever there was someone out there thinking about her, how they were proud of what she's become. And she wanted him, especially him, who knew all about her dreams to say that he knows how much she wanted this and how much she worked hard for it, to say that he's proud. She would lie awake on her bed, thinking if ever she would hear those words from somebody, and now she's hearing it from him.

"Sol." He panicked, stood up and kneeled in front of her.

She feigned a laugh. "No, I'm okay." She rashly tried to wipe her tears away.

"Seo Ji Ho, I said i'm okay." she said as she saw that he still had a worried look on his face.

He sighed and smiled. "Okay." He stood up and fixed his glasses. "Just know that.. I know you worked hard for this and you deserve this."

"Just shut up already."

He raised a brow and smirked. "Well, the great Kang Sol did that all without my help. I can't help but be proud."

"You did help me." She looked up at him. "You were a home. A comfort."

"But you didn't deserve to be used up, you deserved to be given the best." She smiled. "Are you happy now?"

Jiho knows what she meant. "Yeah."

"I'm very happy now."

"Well. " Sol B stood up and shook the dust from her lap. "I'd better go now, I still need to buy something. " She pointed at the convenience store with a thumb.

She started to walk towards the store and waved goodbye at him, not looking back.

"Goodbye, Kang Sol."

She slowed her steps and waited for him to walk away, far away from her.

And when she was sure he was already gone, she released her sobs and tears started to uncontrollably fall. She couldn't step inside the store so all she did was stand outside, bawling, praying that no one would pass by and see her.

All she knew is that she didn't want to be alone anymore. Just for this moment, she wanted someone to walk with her home, to be with her until she was okay. She couldn't think of anyone she would dare disturb, but she decided to call one person that would at least understand her.

She called and her phone rang.

"Bokgi-ya."

------------------------------------------------------------------------------

[This is my first angst writing OMG. I don't know if it hurt enough tho. Tell me did it hurt? HAHAH im so sorry. hit me up on Twitter @autumnisnoble. Show me some love HAHHAHA. yeah nope, i wrote this cause i just needed to let off some steam and angst writing just seemed to be the right medium to do that. Will do a BokSolB in the future, yes that's right. HAHHA okay bye

PS. BokGi and YeSeul never got together in this universe. Just a note.]

[onbeinganangel]

okay so @eat-yearn-cry and @tackytigerfic asked for a wee liveblog of me reading capri so i am here to embarrass myself

here are my notes from a five-ish hour reading sesh yesterday (thanks @the-starryknight for witnessing this live and sending me your fav capri art for visual references —read: thirst — as i read along)

if you think there is going to be any clever analysis here, please go somewhere else now, this is pure, unhinged screaming (i’m serious, none of this makes sense, it’s a whole mess and i redacted like 50 ‘oh my god???????’s, 30 ‘jesus/mary/joseph/christ’s and 20 ‘oh fuck’s already)

here we go

- a character list!!!! it’s like they know i have a wasteland for a brain and i’m gonna need to come back to that a million times

- okay so far we are feeling very sorry for damen but he’s fiery (big fan)

- he’s a hardheaded bastard, gimme like half an hour and i’ll probably be willing to die for him lmao

- me reading the character list and wondering why it just says ‘pet’, me three lines into the first chapter like OH PET LIKE PET PET OKAY GOT IT omfg mari

- “an astonishingly lovely face” “arrogant and unpleasant” “self-absorbed and self-serving spoilt” (it’s either a description of me or i’m in love)

- “what’s your name, sweetheart” okay FINE

- “i speak your language better than you speak mine, sweetheart” I SAID FINE (here for the polyglot representation we deserve lol)

- all of this is problematic and i shouldn’t find it hot but hey ho

- “something obscene about someone with a face like that speaking those words” indeed

- oh laurent is only twenty yikes

- boot kissing, thank you gods, mari is v pleased (also just glossing over the /bad/ because double yikes)

- unsure how to feel about Damen going off in his own language which only Laurent (?) understands and then Laurent twisting his words? is Laurent protecting himself? agreeing with Damen? which is it?

- oh

- unlacing

- oh

- flogging but of the bad kind

- okay

- if these two don’t stop calling each other sweetheart i’m calling the police

- AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA hhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhh 🚨 omfg

- “I was on the field at Marlas” ”It’s your countryman who taught me that. You can thank him for the lesson.” ”Thank who?” ”Damianos, the dead Prince of Akielos” hahahahaha okay

- the regent is back an hes brought back the other two guys, yea? and they’re all conspiring against laurent? but laurent doesn’t like kastor???? THEREFORE, jumping to conclusions like a circus cat through hoops, DAMEN LIKES LAURENT bc if you hate the same people you’re immediately pals that’s how it works

- so we’ve got a hotheaded brunette who’s a bit of a brute with a cause and a clever snarky blonde ready to subtly fuck shit up??? idk why anyone would have thought i’d be into this

- “the aloof, untouched Laurent was at this moment delivering a precise treatise on cocksucking” STUFF JUST ESCALATES OUT OF NOWHERE IN THIS BOOK DUNNIT

- Damen asking Erasmus about how he’s treated and after the other slaves???? ”Tell me everything that has happened to you since you left Akielos” 🥺 this is it, it took me hours, but we are hERE, i am willing to die for Damen

- oh no

- oh nooooo

- i am gonna go off

- NOT ERASMUS

- protect his tiny head and beautiful curls pls i will do anything

- also fuck, not Damen promising obedience in exchange for a guarantee that the other slaves will be treated well 😭😭😭

- Laurent is a scheming little bitch and i love him

- also should have mentioned earlier but Nicaise can get fucked (considering the themes of this book i should probably consider how i express my dislike for characters but you get the point, he’s a dickhead)

- THE FORK

- torveld/erasmus, okay 🥺

- Nicaise is the regent’s pet???? ofc he is jfc the little shit

- damen is talking to torveld, the baby back in akielos is totally his, i’m calling it now

- also torveld told him he looks a bit like kastor !!!! and boy oh boy is damen shitting himself rn

- oooh hunting

- wait LAURENT IS NICE!? tbd

- also damen just admiring how fucking stunning laurent is and he’s just his type but it’s such a shame the good looks are wasted on such an unpleasant person lmao

- when you think about it, without the rape and the slavery and the violence, they just sit about on silk pillows and scheme and eat, it’s a pretty good deal

- DAMEN HAS BEEN SUMMONED TO LAURENT’S BED????? or so they say, i’m unconvinced,

- OH SHIT

- oh shit

- the boys have finally reached third base: committing murder together (first base is when you get sucked off by someone else via your lover’s strict instructions, second base is when you eat off your lover’s fingers, don’t @ me i don’t make the rules)

- so the idiot really decided it was a great idea to try to escape post murder attempt???? even though Laurent told him what would happen AND IT HAPPENED

- he’s saved!!!!!!!!!

- ”You must be the fuck of a lifetime” sir they have barely touched

- i am Nervous

- this is a fucking trip

- oh no the regent is bad and trying to fuck it all up who could have seen that coming 🙄

- okay alright so — fuck — first damen tries to escape but laurent gets him back and then they still want to arrest/kill damen but laurent defends him and then laurent wants damen to be stuck in his room for months while he’s away but then he sends for him and they’re off to war together?????? my brain isn’t here anymore sorry

- “He was dressed in Laurent’s colours, and bearing his insignia” hhhhhh i’m stupidly into this

- also Nicaise and the earring and whatvs? i’m sure there’s something there, more than Nicaise simply being an arsewipe but i can’t figure it out rn, thoughts later but he’s a shit stirring cunt i can tell you that

- SO THAT’S JUST IT!?

and this is where i messaged Starry and asked her to stop me from starting the second book at 10 to midnight, thank you Starry lmao

off to ignore my responsibilities and start the second book now

[aswellingstorm]

taylor swift x catradora playlist

in honor of evermore dropping tonight (midnight, EST) i humbly present the following by album break down of songs that miss swift wrote solely for catradora

taylor swift (2006)

tied together with a smile--the struggle adora faces being the hero/put on a pedestal from her horde days to becoming she ra

invisible--catra facing jealousy over adora’s new friendships

i’m only me when i’m with you--young catradora/growing up in the horde

fearless (2008)

forever & always-- broken promise. need i say more

white horse-- catra’s resentment for adora’s hero complex

breathe-- mutual catra & adora--struggling to cope with the other choosing the opposing side

you’re not sorry--adora coming to terms w post s3 catra & having to accept her former best friend has gone too far this time

change-- post s1 victory for adora

speak now (2010)

the story of us--princess prom catradora vibes

mean--unfortunately.........could see the best friend squad singing this therapeutically & adora thinking of catra

better than revenge-- ‘stealing other peoples toys on the playground won’t make you many friends//i’m just another thing for you to roll your eyes at honey’....jealous catra really comes thru here

innocent-- feel like this could be applied to adora but more specifically catra losing herself and her innocence in this war/getting caught in the cycle of abuse shadow weaver set her in at a young age

if this were a movie-- adora’s naïve hope that catra might make the right choice one day

haunted-- ‘all this time you and i have walked a fragile line, never thought i’d live to see it break’, easily fits into adora leaving the horde, but def has the angsty vibes for ‘save the cat’

back to december--regret. longing. wishing u could take something back but knowing you really cant

enchanted--ok hear me out. not necessarily a ‘meet cute’ for them, but could def see this song playing at a princess prom post s5 and being a cute look for them over all.

red (2012)

treacherous--post ‘save the cat’, catra learning redemption is....something she Wants

the last time--post-portal. def reminds me of the scene where catra saves glimmer and apologizes to adora

sad beautiful tragic-- break up sadness

the lucky one--more adora becoming she ra/learning the truth of mara

i almost do--catra & adora missing each other on opposite sides of the war

come back...be here--^^

state of grace--end of/post s5

1989 (2014)

out of the woods--i mean..........those ladies entered the whispering woods in s1 on a stolen skiff and did not leave until the end of the series

all you had to do was stay-- aside from the title... “let me remind you this was what you wanted // you ended it// you were all I wanted //but not like this”. def catra yearning

i wish you would--all of the lyrics. all of them

bad blood--warrants no explanation

this love-- “when you’re young, you just run// but you always come back to what you need”......................the defense rests

clean--s4 adora accepting and coming to terms w catra’s decision

wonderland-- really captures the betrayal/hurt of s1 catradora

you are in love-- adora POV// subtle moments leading up to realizing she loves catra

new romantics--”we need love, but all we want is danger//we team up then switch sides like a record changer”

catra’s personal memoir reputation (2017)

i did something bad--a title that could (unfortunately for everyone else) summarize a large majority of catra’s decisions. the song is very justified/righteous anger/revenge. basically a ‘fuck you, i know i’m bad’ & embracing that. reminds me of her kicking sw & hordaks ass (the rebellion could never) and her just...war criming it up in the crimson waste

Look What You Made Me Do-- void!catra void!catra void!catra void!catra void!catra void!catra--

getaway car--could see this from adora’s perspective to catra solely for the whole leaving/betrayal bit. but might be more fighting for double trouble & catra’s relationship

dancing with our hands tied-- i mean...lyrically. everything. but esp ‘I'd kiss you as the lights went out//swaying as the room burned down//I'd hold you as the water rushes in//If I could dance with you again”

dress-- “i dont want you like a best friend”. period. end of sentence. 

this is why we can’t have nice things--s1 promise feels. the lack of forgiveness, the shade. u know.

lover (2019)

cruel summer-- “i scream for whatever it’s worth, i love you--ain’t that the worst thing you ever heard?” the heart. the longing. the ‘i dont want to keep secrets just to keep you’

the archer-- ‘who could ever leave me, but who could stay?’ + the rest of the song is v fitting for both catra/adora

afterglow--making up, admitting wrongs--catra perspective

miss americana & the heartbreak prince--idk just the narrative of the song reminds me of them

it’s nice to have a friend--whooooh boy this post is not about glimbow but this song works equally as well for them

daylight--enjoy the healing

lover--enjoy the healing pt 2

death by a thousand cuts-- warrants 0 explanation

folklore (2020)

finally

the 1-- definitley adora POV, reminiscing on maybe what they could have been. maybe in a world where catra never redeemed herself or they never reunited and adora watched her friends pair up/get married/build lives w each other, she might realize there is a whole in her heart. a part that’s missing and cant be explained, but she feels it every time she looks at glimmer&bow. 

cardigan-- feels like catra writing a letter to adora. reflecting on the feelings of hurt and betrayal after time has passed and the anger fades

exile -- lowkey the premise of my fic but. ‘i’m not your problem anymore/ you were my crown/ now i’m in exile seeing you out��� catra was raised to feel like she was adora’s problem to fix. she feels cast aside by her for a majority of the series etc

my tears ricochet-- “i didn't have it in myself to go with grace//and you're the hero flying around saving face//and if I'm dead to you why are you at the wake?//cursing my name, wishing I stayed//look at how my tears ricochet” tswift explained this in the doc about how no one can hurt you like your best friend turned enemy. so i think in that sense this song works from adora’s perspective--but there’s so much bitterness and anger that i feel like it fits more from catra’s POV

seven-- “love you to the moon and to saturn//passed down like folksongs//the love lasts so long” i feel like this is so young/child adora and her feelings of protectiveness over catra. their bond through trauma and abuse

august--lmaoooooo i know. ok i KNOW what the deal is. i KNOW that cardigan, august and betty are a narrative story and really there are 3 POVs--james, betty & august. but i will do with that what i please. i just see catra’s pov from this song just as much as i see it for cardigan. her losing adora/feeling like adora doesn’t want her back or will choose other ppl over her. 

this is me trying--can fit adora’s need to be everything for everyone/fear of failure--leading to burn out. also works for what i assume how catra’s redemption arc continued post s5. progress isn’t linear and this can show both of them struggling to recover from abuse

invisible string--if u strip out the imagery of taylor and her mans then sure

mad woman--i MEAN...is this not catra’s villain origin story? so often she was just poked/kicked/provoked into continuing down the dark path. not always by adora but regardless.

epiphany-- ‘with you i serve, with you i fall down’ reminding me of them both fighting/practicing/training together pre-s1 as well as them finally teaming up

betty--betty betty betty. the worst thing these two have ever done is what they did to each other. i see it more catra to adora, but it can go either way. gotta admire catra’s range for fitting into the role of betty, august + james... who else is doing it quite like her?

peace-- adora to catra. she can never not be she ra. is that enough for catra?

hoax--def more of a catra POV

evermore (2020?)

tbd......

[peachyaone]

Lonely Heart pt.4

Warning: Mentions of alcohol.

Iris arrived at the airport along with Ashley. Iris rubbed her eyes and stretched. She lets out a groan, sleeping on an airplane seat wasn’t exactly comfortable. Iris's bandmates, Helena, Maia and Julia was making small talks with each other so they can keep up with what's going on. As they waited for their luggage, Iris went to checked on her phone.

10 texts messages from Lemon Boy 2 missed calls from Boatboi and Mikey 1 voicemails from Si<3 20 texts messages from Lukey<3

She listened to Sierra’s voicemail.

"Hey, angel." Sierra said on the voice mail. "I know I'm the last person you want to hear from right now after what happened, and I just want to say that we're both sorry." Sierra said. "I'm sorry I didn't take your side, sorry that I didn't understand from your point of view. I'm sorry for giving up so easily, but I understand if you don't forgive me but at least forgive Luke." she took in a breath. " He’s been beating himself up. And he barely slept. We went to Ashton's and he explained everything to us. We were so foolish for not give you a chance to explain. We're sorry."

Julia, who’s the bassist of her band, turned around to see Iris with tears in her eyes. "Hey, Iris?" she called out. Iris's head shot up, she cleared her throat and wiped away her tears. "Yeah?" she said. " We got your luggage, ready to leave?" Julia said. Iris nodded. "Wanna borrow my sunglasses? It can help cover up... only if you want to." she offered. "Thank you." she said quietly. Iris took the sunglasses. "No problem, bub." Julia beamed, patted Iris in the head. "Now come on, let’s head to the hotel, but let's go greet some fans, first." Helena said. Well, when Helena said "some fans" she meant crowds of people waiting to meet them.

"OH MY GOD! THEY'RE HERE!" "Hey Iris, can I get a picture?' "I LOVE YOU, IRIS" "WE LOVE YOU"

Iris smiled and took a few pictures with them. "uh..I-Iris?" She heard a small voice  muttered out. She turned to see a girl with brown skin and long black hair."Hey sweetie, what's wrong?" she asked. "I-I made you something!" she said as she handed her a bag. Iris took the bag, in it was a painting of Luke, Sierra and her, and other stuff. Her heart ached. She forced a smile, "Oh my god, did you paint this? It's so beautiful!" The girl blushed profusely and nodded. Iris hugged the girl. "Thank you, sweetie. What's your name?" The girl smiled. "Nia, it's Nia." she said. "Well, Nia, thank you again for this beautiful painting! Are you coming to the shows?" Iris asked. "Y-Yeah I'm going to the one tomorrow." Iris hugged her again. "Can't wait to see you tomorrow then!" She smiled and waved goodbye. Helena, after overheard her conversation with Julia earlier, stayed awhile to wait for Iris. “You okay, shortcake?” she asked. Usually, Iris would protest when Helena called her “shortcake”. But she didn’t this time.

*timeskip*

As they reached the hotel, it was midnight. They got their keycard, and told each other goodnight. She unpacked her stuff, placed her guitar and her gift beside the vanity. She took a warm shower, the water cascading down her back, relieving her tense muscles. She dried off and changed into her boy-boxers and oversized hoodie she stole from Luke. She forgotten that she put that in. The smell of cashmere and him filled her senses and she felt her mood dampened.

She unlocked her phone and opened Instagram. She saw that Luke had posted. The caption said:

For Buttercup xoxo.

He was holding his guitar, as he played a rhythm the she recognized, but she couldn’t remember the lyrics. She had heard them boys talking about this before, but never sung it. He looked so tired, she could see the circles underneath his eyes.

Your type of mind, so hard to find, Native of mine, you're just my kind, Down on my knees, I’ll always follow, I promise you until the end of time.

Her heart yearned to hold the man in her arms and forgive him for every wrong he had committed over the past few days. She knew he was hurting. She had avoided his messages because she was too blinded by her own betrayal and sadness to truly realize what her absence had done to the man.

Such a lonely heart, oh woah Such a lonely heart, oh woah If you can't find another reason to stay Then I know I'm gonna always have a lonely, lonely, lonely, lonely Heart, oh woah Heart

He looked physically in pain, yet his emotions was conveyed by the lyrics of the song. Tears fell from her own eyes as she witnessed the man she loved experience such heartache.

Your precious heart, can't watch it break So I close my eyes while you walk away Can I have a second chance? Can I have another dance? Can I start another life, with you? When I wake up in a haze, and I haven't slept in days You're a thousand miles away-

But then she remembered he had hurt her so deeply. But also, she could feel his apology through the verse itself. She knew he wasn't great with words so he'll depend on songs to express what he felt. It was too much. Iris looked away, the sharp pain in her heart gave a shock, her hand reaching up to grasp over her heart. She feels lightheaded. Her chest ached, a heaviness was pressing on her chest. Iris shaked her head, slowly reaching for keycard on her nightstand. Staggering, she stood and made her way to Helena's room. A sob escapes her, her weak attempts of keeping it in failed. "Helena-" she called out. "please...open the door." She curl herself into a ball, tears slipping down her face. She felt the door open. "Iris!" Helena exclaimed.

She open her eyes as Helena's arm wrapped around her, her hand rubbing soothing circles on her back. Maia heard the commotion outside and rushed outside. “What’s wrong?” She asked. She looked at the pair on the floor.  “Hey Iris.” She cooed. “Hey. It’s okay. I’m here. I’m not going anywhere. I’ve got you, okay?” she said. “Iris. Iris, grab my hand.” She look at Helena, confused. "Just do it." She moved her gaze from her hands to Helena's, slowly taking it and holding it in her palm. “Squeeze.” She told her, Iris's eyes drifting up to meet hers. She smiled reassuringly. “Go on. Squeeze as hard as you can.” Iris's tightened her hands around Helena's palm, her eyes still on her face. "Keep going.” She nodded.

“Now match my breathing. In, out. In, out.” Maia whispered, her hand still rubbing circles on Iris’s back. Iris tried to concentrate on the way Maia’s chest, moving up and down, attempting to copy with her own breathing. There’s an overwhelming scent of Luke lingering on every breath she take. “Hey, hey, hey. Focus on me, Iris.” Helena said, snapping Iris out her thoughts, “That’s it. Well done sweetheart, you can do it.” Maia reasurred. They stayed like that for a while; Helena whispering reassurance, Iris’s matching Maia’s breathing. Finally, after what felt like forever, She stopped shaking and her heart rate slowed back down.

"You okay, now? Do you need anything? I could get you water, snacks, anything..?" Maia asked. "Just stay with me, please." She clinged to them ."Alright." She said. "Would you like to tell us what happened?" Helena asked. Iris told them about Luke and about Sierra's voicemail. "He looked so sad, did I mess everything up?" She whispered. "No, Iris. He snapped at you. He should've listened to your reasons before jumping into conclusions like that." Maia reassured. “Look, I want you to stay with me for a little bit, okay?” Iris began shaking her head, ready to pull out of her grasp. “Oh, ‘Lena, no, it’s okay, I ca—” “Iris, please,” Helena begged. “Just for tonight, yeah? You’re not in a right headspace for you to be alone right now.” Iris nibbled on her lip, sniffling and conflicted as she timidly asked, “Are you sure?” Helena nodded firmly. "Alright then." Iris whispered.

"Can you walk?" Maia asked. "I-I think s-so" She said, attempting to stand. The pair supported her back so she could stand. And helped Iris to back to Helena’s bed. "Sit tight, I'll grab some stuff from your room, okay?" Maia asked her. "Okay." Iris mumbled. "Just rest, do you want to postpone the concert tomorrow?" Helena softly asked. Iris rapidly shook her head. "No, no, no. I'll be fine, don't worry. i can do it." she rambled. "Alright, now go get proper sleep." Helena said.

*The next day*

Ashley went to check her phone. There was a text from Ashton.

[7:10 am, 11/10/2019] Ashton 5sos: Hey Ashley

[7:10 am, 11/10/2019] Ashley: Hey Ashton, what's up?

[7:11 am, 11/10/2019] Ashton 5sos: Nothing much

[7:11 am, 11/10/2019] Ashton 5sos: I only wanted to know how is Iris, she doing okay?

Ashley looked at the woman on the bed, She went to check on her in the morning, to find she’s in Helena’s room. Iris was curled up in the covers, her eyes slightly puffy and her cheeks are flushed. But other than that, she sleeping so soundly.

[7:12 am, 11/10/2019] Ashley : She's okay. Helena told me had a breakdown last night but she okay now. She still sleeping though. She said she had pains in her chest, I’m worried.

[7:14 am, 11/10/2019] Ashton 5sos: Oh god, I knew that something was wrong. Is there something I can do to help?

[7:14 am, 11/10/2019] Ashton 5sos: Please tell me, I want to help.

[7:15 am, 11/10/2019] Ashley : I don’t know about that, Ashton. And you're in LA and we're halfway around the world. We went to check up on her, she was burning up.

[7:18 am, 11/10/2019] Ashley: i think she's getting sick.

[7:20 am, 11/10/2019]  Ashton 5sos: But I can fly out there, I can go see her

[7:20 am, 11/10/2019]  Ashton 5sos: I want to see Iris better, she’s like family to me.

Iris stirred, little whimpers could be heard from her. “No……please” she whimpered. Helena shushed her back to sleep.  Ashley lightly felt Iris’s forehead for any signs of fever, and she was unusually warm.

[7:21 am, 11/10/2019] Ashley : Ashton, your band needs you more, you're working on your album. what would your management say, when they finds out that you’re flying out, just for her.

[7:23 am, 11/10/2019] Ashley : I can take care of her, Ashton. Trust me.

[7:24 am, 11/10/2019] Ashton 5sos: The album can wait, we have a lot of time, and the boys, I’m sure that would understand. Fuck the management! I don’t give a damn. I want to know if she’s okay,  I need to see her if she’s physically and mentally okay.

[7:27 am, 11/10/2019] Ashley: Fine, but wait, if she gets worse, you can come and also, don't come to me if Iris starts throwing hands. You know how she is, chaotic yet so kept-together.

[7:30 am, 11/10/2019] Ashton 5sos: I don’t mind if she tries to throw hands, you have no idea how many times she did. But I be glad to see her okay.

[7:30 am, 11/10/2019] Ashley: alright then. Look i have to go, duty calls y'know. See you later, Ashton. I’ll update you if anything happens.

[7:30 am, 11/10/2019]  Ashton 5sos : Alright!  Thank you, Ashley.

[7:33 am, 11/10/2019] Ashley: No problem.

Ashley placed down her phone, sighing.  Iris stirred awake. “ Iris, you’re awake. You feeling better?” Helena said softly, stroking Iris's bed hair so it'll look a little bit neat.  They heard a muffled "yes" from her. “Come on, now, we have an live session to go to” Ashley said. “Oh yeah.” she got up, stretched for a bit and yawned. “Go get ready, We’re leaving in few hours.” Ashley reminded. “Okay, see you then.” Then Iris went back to her room.

Her phone was still on the bed. She switched it on. What greeted her was hundreds of notifications from Twitter and Instagram. Fans tagged her in a news post. 

“TROUBLE IN PARADISE? POLY TRIAD, LUKE HEMMINGS, IRIS ADLER AND SIERRA DEATON, DID THEY BROKE IT OFF? OR SOMETHING REALLY DIFFERENT?”

“Days after the pictures of the lead vocalist of The Temptresses, Iris Josephine Alder, who was assumed to be cheating on her partners, Luke Hemmings from 5 Seconds of Summer and Sierra Deaton, former singer from Alex & Sierra.”

“The lead vocalist of 5SOS posted a 2 minute clip of a new song for their upcoming album, CALM. Following it, was a caption that said, “For Buttercup xoxo.” Is the mysterious “Buttercup” , Iris herself? The rockstar was seen with singer, Halsey at the Heathrow Airport in London the day before for Halsey’s Manic world tour with Iris as the opener.”

Iris scrolled through the news, until one specific line she read struck her hard.

“The couple was seen walking out of Starbuck at Midtown, LA. They looked pretty happy, maybe they would much be better off without Iris-“

Better off without Iris.

Better off without her.

Iris threw her phone at the mattress, rushed to her bag and pulled a flask. She knew it was bad, and Ashton would give her a lecture about it. But she couldn’t resist.  She drank.  When she emptied the flask, she was buzzed. It wasn’t enough but it numbed her for a bit. She prepared herself, slick backed her mullet,  put on light makeup and wore presentable clothes. She chewed on some mints, just to make sure. She was ready.

here's the outfit: 

It slightly covered her neck tattoo, a reminder of them. She wanted to cover up or hide anything that reminded her of them. She couldn't handle the sight. She reminisced the passionate nights they had. The quiet mornings they shared, Iris loved those moments, when she was with them, everything felt right.

*Flashback*

It was December. Snow slowly fall from the sky, Sierra knows just how much Iris adores the snow. They both do. Luke enjoys the way he see the pure amazement light up in her eyes. They stared at her as Iris looked out into the world outside. It like giving a child the gift they always wanted on their birthday. Sierra was the first one to break, she slipped on Iris’s oversized cardigan. Her steps are quiet as she crosses the room to sit beside Iris. “Hey angel” she cooed, her palm caressed her face. Iris’s fluttered shut, her lips curled into soft smile. “Mornin’ Si “  she mumbled, face instinctively nuzzled into her palm.

Luke decides to join them, he put on his sweatpants, and stood behind Iris but his arms snaking around her waist , she shuddered at the coldness of his fingertips. “ You’re freezing, Lu.” She said. “Couldn’t help it, lovey. M’two girls left me to fend the coldness all by m’self” He said as he pouted. “Sorry, Lu” Iris said. She reached out to brush a stray curl behind his ear. “M’can properly see your pretty eyes now, Lu. It’s so blue, like the sea, very pretty.” She rambled. She turned to Sierra, “Your’s pretty too. It reminds me of nature. I wanna paint both of your eyes, but it wouldn’t be the same.” She rambled again. “And why’s that, angel?” Sierra asked, stroking her cheek with thumb. “I couldn’t get the colors just right. Yours, It’s like different shades of browns and blacks. And Luke’s different shades of blue.” She said. “I don’t have the talent to do it either. My skills….they’re mediocre.” She said, her concentration on the subject faltered. Her eyes was glued to the window, watching the snowflakes falling, some sticking to the glass and others falling to cover the ground below.

“Angel?” “Hm?” Her eyes still glued to the snow covered scenery outside. “Look at us, honey.” Luke he asked quietly. Iris looked at them. “Your art skills are extraordinary, don’t ever let yourself down like that.” Luke said.  “That’s right, Lu” Sierra agreed. Iris sheepishly looked away. “Hey, don’t look away..” Sierra cooed. She hooked her finger under Iris’s chin and lifted it up . They both gave her a kiss on her cheek. “Wanna go outside and play with the snow?” Luke said. “Mhm, maybe later. It’s too early in the morning. Wanna spend this moment with m’favorite people.” She whispered. That morning was quiet and peaceful. She would give everything she had to experience it aga-

“Iris.”

*Flashback ends*

“Iris.”

Iris snapped awake from her daydream from the knocking outside her door. "Coming!" She said. Ashley, Helena, Julia and Maia was outside. "We've been calling you for minutes now, you okay?" Ashley asked concernedly. “We almost had to restrain Julia for breaking down the door.” Maia joked. "Just got lost in thought, that's all. Look I'm ready, I just have to grab my bag and guitar, then we'll be off." She rushed into room, shoved her phone into her bag and slunged her guitar over her shoulder.

"Let's go."

[5-seconds-of-bucky]

Letters To A Boy Who’ll Never Read Them

A/N: Kinda inspired by To All the Boys I’ve Loved Before. Anyone who knows me will see how much I projected on this but oh well. Also, this is the longest fic I’ve ever written! (Which is kinda sad I guess but oh well)

Summery: The letters to Peter were never supposed to leave that box 

Word count: 2.6k+

Warnings: I like half proof read this so probably some typos

Peter Parker was a boy you liked to admire from afar. You’ve gone to school with him for the past three years and were yet to feel the courage to talk to him. The first time you laid eyes on the curly haired boy, you were a goner. Everything about him was perfect to you, even if he was considered a nerd by most others. You liked to imagine that he felt the same towards you, but you were sure he never took a second to register your face among the hundreds at Midtown. 

And maybe you owed that to how perfectly average you were. Sure, you were fairly smart, but so was everyone else at the school. You were pretty enough, but it wasn’t something that set you apart from everyone else. You blended into a crowd like a chameleon on a green wall. 

Your one special talent, if it could even be called that, was your writing. Your teachers always commented on the eloquence of your essays and your friends liked to ask you to come up with witty captions from their Instagram posts. You were even on a competitive writing team.

 Writing was the one thing that set you apart, but it was something that went unnoticed by the majority. 

Unbeknownst to you, Peter Parker was very aware of your presence in a room. Your “average” beauty was more than average to him. He wasn’t sure how long he’d known that he liked you, but he guessed that it started around the first time he read one of your essays. Your way with words was something he would never stop admiring. He was a science kid, through and through but he could see your passion for writing even in the simple essay you had to write about symbolism in Lord of the Flies. 

He wanted to talk to you and ask you just how you did it, but there was always something holding him back. You were either hanging out with your small group of friends and he didn’t want to interrupt or you were studying quietly in the library and he was sure you wanted to be alone. He never seemed to have the courage to talk to you and he wasn’t entirely sure why. 

So he never approached you. In the three years he had known your face he never spoke a word to it. Every class that you had together never required a group project and assigned seats that were never next to each other. Sometimes, it felt like fate was keeping you apart. 

~

You kept a container under your bed. There wasn’t anything that special about it originally. You put some stickers on there when you were a little younger. There was no reason in particular that you did it, you just had some stickers and wanted to put them to use. You ended up sticking it under the bed eventually and left it there for a while. 

There was a day when you got sick of keeping your crush at bay. It wasn’t all that long after you “met” Peter. Who knew that staring at the back of someone’s head could make you like them so much? 

So you did the thing you knew best; write. 

You wrote him a letter. A letter you hoped he would never read because it was too embarrassing for him to see. 

Dear Peter, 

How does one tell you they love you? Perhaps I could tell you in this letter, but a letter alone could not capture the raging feelings I have for you. The butterflies I feel when you walk in a room, the sense of calmness I feel when I see you smile, the giddiness when you shoot your hand up to answer a question. Not a day goes by that I fear I won’t see that smile again. But that doesn’t come close to the fear that you’ll never see me. For I am little more than another face in the crowd. I’m average and you are anything but. I wish this letter could make you see me, but I doubt anything really can. I hope this is a letter you’ll never read, but fate has ways of changing the things we want. Maybe, some day, you can be mine. 

With love, 

                 The girl I wished you’d see

You read the letter once over and weren’t sure what to do with it. You obviously couldn’t give it to Peter but you didn’t want to get rid of it. 

Your eyes caught sight of the container under your bed and you grabbed it, folding the note and putting it in there. You placed the container back under the bed and worked on more homework, hoping that somehow, the letter would rid you of your feelings. 

Over time, the container accumulated more letters. From little notes to full length letters describing how you felt, they never left that container. You even wrote “Dear Peter” in sharpie on the side. There were things you hoped you could mention in the hallway as you passed him and things you could only hope he would never know. 

From

Dear Peter, 

Your smile makes me happier than One Direction. 

To

Dear Peter, 

Sometimes, I fear that you’ll realize that you’re too smart and kind for the people at Midtown to treat you like they do and that you’ll leave. Sometimes, I wish I could be the one to make it better. 

You never told anyone about the container. It was something you felt was too personal to share. Even if your friends knew all about your crush on Peter, you weren’t sure you trusted them with the things you wrote to him. 

~ 

“Alright, I’m gonna get changed,” you said to your friend, Becca, as you grabbed your pajamas and headed to the bathroom across the hallway. The two of you were having a sleepover and you didn’t want to be in jeans while you watched movies. 

Becca twisted the ring on her finger as she waited for you when it accidentally came out of her grasp and rolled under your bed. 

“Oops,” she said to herself as she kneeled on the ground to get it. She swiped her hand under the bed before she found it, curiosity striking when she felt the box it was resting against. She looked down and was met with the container, the “Dear Peter” in your handwriting facing her. 

“What’s this?” She pulled the container out enough to see the folded letters sitting in it. She pulled one out and read part of it.

Dear Peter,

I love you. There, I said it. Well, wrote it, I guess. But that’s as bold as I can be right now. I’m still the girl you’ve never seen; the girl you’ll never see. 

The sounds of your footsteps interrupted her reading and she quickly put the letter back, shoving the container under your bed. 

“What are you doing?” You asked, seeing her kneeling on the ground. 

“Oh, my ring dropped.” 

You smiled. “You need to stop dropping that thing, my gosh, Becca.” 

“I know, I know,” she chuckled. 

Later that night, when you were asleep, Becca took some of the letters and shoved them in her bag. There were tons of notes in there. Surely, you wouldn’t notice if five of them were gone. Maybe she could get these to Peter. It wasn’t the nicest thing to do behind you back, but she was sick of hearing you swoon over the boy. Just because you were oblivious to the yearning looks Peter gave didn’t mean she didn’t see them. 

The next Monday at school, Becca didn’t hang out at your locker for long, claiming that she needed to go to the bathroom before class. While you went to class early, she pushed the letters in through the crack of Peter’s locker. All she could do now is hope that Peter knew what to do next and that you wouldn’t kill her. 

~ 

“Dude, did you even read the chapter last night?” Peter asked Ned as they walked to his locker. 

“Of course not. Why do you think I’m asking you about it now?” 

Peter scoffed as he put the combination to his locker in. “What if everything I just old you wasn’t true?” 

“You would never-”

Ned was cut off by a few pieces of folded paper flying out of Peter’s locker. Peter picked one up, reading the short message written in small handwriting. 

Dear Peter, 

Your eyes are like the midnight sky. Dark and mysterious yet beautiful. 

“What is that?” Ned asked, reading it before Peter could move it out of eyesight. 

“I don’t know. Maybe someone’s putting notes in people’s lockers or something.” 

“Then why do you have four others in there?” Peter closed his locker, leaving the rest of the notes in there. 

“Aren’t you going to read them? What if Y/N finally confessed her love to you?” 

Peter rolled his eyes. “She is not in love with me. And I’ll read them later.” 

Little did Peter know that Ned was right. As he read the notes later, he couldn’t help but wonder what led you to put such personal and deep notes in there. 

Dear Peter, 

It’s me again. I know I’ve written a million notes for you, but I don’t know what else to do. I am helplessly and completely head over heels for you. You and your cute sweaters, your genius brain, that little smile you get when you know all the answers to a test. I’ll probably be stuck writing letters to you ‘till the day I die, but oh well. You are the sun and I am a small blade of grass in the middle of a field. You are the ocean and I am one of the thousands of fish. You are you and I am just me. Maybe one day I’ll gain the courage to tell you that to your face, but until then, I remain the little fish in the big pond. 

Sincerely, 

                The little fish, 

                                      Y/N 

Dear Peter,

Yeah, you’re Peter Parker and I’m Y/F/N Y/L/N but what if you were Peter Pan and I was Wendy Darling? (That sucked, I’m sorry but not really)

Love, 

         Someone who wishes they were your darling

He couldn’t believe his eyes. He had been dreaming about you for years and all of a sudden you just threw some love letters in his locker? 

Of course, it could be fake. It was a little elaborate to be fake though. Ned couldn’t write like that and nobody else knew about his crush on you. Maybe it was an actual dream come true. 

~ 

“Hey, Y/N!” Peter called when he saw you standing at your locker the next day. He didn’t know what you were doing there since it was a lunch period but it didn’t matter. He walked towards you quickly, one of the letters subtly stuck to his side. 

You gave him a confused look. He knew who you were? Since when? 

“Hey, I uh . . . I got your letter.” 

“What letter? I never gave you a letter.” You closed your locker and turned to face him fully, arms crossed as you leaned onto it. 

“Well this letter says it’s from you. Unless there’s another Y/F/N Y/L/N in this school I don’t know about.” He held the letter up and your eyes widened. You snatched it out of his hands and scanned over the message. Yup, it was definitely yours. 

Dear Peter,

I love you. There, I said it. Well, wrote it, I guess. But that’s as bold as I can be right now. I’m still the girl you’ve never seen; the girl you’ll never see. I keep telling myself that if I can confess these stupid feelings behind the pen, then I can do it in person too. But that day hasn’t come yet. I guess it’s like liquid courage but with ink. Ink courage? That’s weird. 

That wasn’t even the end of it. There was a lot more on the page, things that even if you were to tell him how you felt, you would never want him to know. And you were absolutely mortified. 

“How did you get this?” 

“I don’t know. I was in my locker the other day. There were like four others with it.” 

“Four?” You stared at him like you had just seen a ghost. 

“Yeah four. This was the deepest though.” He had a shy smile, but you couldn’t even look at him. 

“You were never supposed to see this.” You leaned your head on the locker and brought a hand up to cover your face. “I don’t know how it made it to you.” You’ve never told anyone about the box of letters. 

“Well-”

“I’m so sorry you had to read that, Peter. It must be so weird. You don’t even know me. I’m really really sorry. You were never supposed to read it.” 

You looked like you were about to burst into tears in the middle of the hallway. Thank goodness nobody else was around to witness it. 

“Hey, no. It’s okay. I thought it was really sweet.” He placed a hand on your shoulder, rubbing it softly. He didn’t want to make you uncomfortable but he had an urge to comfort you somehow. 

“You don’t think it’s weird that some girl you’ve never talked to is writing love letters to you?” You finally let your hand fall and glanced up at him quickly, reverting your eyes to the ground when he made eye contact. 

“No, it’s really cute actually. Just because we’ve never talked doesn’t mean I don’t know who you are.” He looked sincere, but that did little to relax fear and embarrassment swirling inside of you. 

“You know, Y/N, I’ve always thought you were cute too.”

Your head snapped up quickly, banging on the locker and causing you to grimace. 

“You okay?” He immediately stepped closer and took your head in his hands, checking to make sure you hadn’t really hurt yourself. 

Warmth spread through your body like a fire. The feeling of his hands was a little more comforting than you cared to admit. “Yeah, it’s just a locker. I’m a little tougher than that,” you laughed softly. 

“Just making sure.” He smiled sheepishly and pulled his hands away. 

You stood there, staring awkwardly staring at each other's shoes until you spoke up.  

“So can we agree to just forget about this and never speak of it again?”  

“Only if you will go on a date with me.” 

Your head shot up and you hit it on the locker again. Peter laughed and you sighed as you took a step away from it.

“I really need to stay away from lockers apparently.” Peter smiled a little wider and you swore your whole word was on fire. “But yeah, I’d really like to go on a date with you,” you said shyly, scratching your neck as a surge of nerves pulsed through your body. Peter Parker actually just asked you on a date. 

“I’ll make sure to go somewhere without lockers.” 

“Oh, how considerate of you.” 

“We should probably get to lunch.” 

“I’ll walk you there.” 

“To the cafeteria?” 

“Where else? Unless you want me to follow two steps behind you like some creepy stalker.”

“No, no, that’s okay. I guess you can walk me.” 

“What a privilege.” 

“It is actually. You get to walk with the Y/F/N Y/L/N.” 

“True, true.” You both turned and walked in the direction of the cafeteria, smiles on your faces. 

“Happen to have any more of those letters?”

“Oh you have no idea.” 

~

Please reblog and leave some feedback! :)

[fangirlshrewt97]

DuckTales Fic - Hey Brother, I’m Back!

Author(s): Fangirlshrewt97

Fandom: DuckTales (2017)

Pairing: Della Duck & Donald Duck

Characters: Della Duck, Donald Duck, Scrooge McDuck, Mrs. Beakley, Others mentioned

Rating: Teen and Up (1 swear word)

Warnings: None

Additional Tags: Sibling bonding, Reunion, Late Night Conversations, Hurt/Comfort, Angst with a Happy Ending, Fluff, Banned Together Bingo 2020, Prompt: Talking Animals

Summary: My take on Della and Donald’s conversation post-reunion

“I thought you were dead.” His tone was flat, eyes hard, fists clenched.

That shut her up.

Link to A03: https://archiveofourown.org/works/24550339

                                                           /////

It was nearing midnight when the Duck Family finally retired for the day, each exhausted after a packed day of reunions, failed plans, and a Moon invasion. Those didn’t happen every day after all. Launchpad had offered to take the moon people to one of Scrooge’s safe houses until they were able to integrate into Earth’s society or decided to return to the moon.

Or rather, most members of the Duck family went to sleep. Della tucked her children into bed as had become the routine ever since her return from the Moon. It was a long process that involved them clinging to her and her clinging back. These were her babies, the ones she had missed, yearned to hold, fought so fiercely to come back to. It didn’t matter what had happened that day, what fight or adventure, or mundane squabble they might have had. Bedtime was sacred. She tasted the regret of every second she had missed of their lives bitterly on her tongue. She never hurried bedtime, stretching it to the last possible second, and staying until all three were asleep, just watching over them.

But tonight, Della left as soon as her sons were tuckered out, which was pretty quick, considering they were asleep the second their heads hit the pillow. She quietly closed the door to their room, gently leaning her head against the wood, breathing in the reality. Assuring herself that the ground beneath her foot was real, the smooth wood under fingertips too.

She stepped away and turned to look out the corridor, walking towards a destination without ever realizing it.

As she reached the attic, a chill breeze blew past her, and a smile started to form on her face. Making her way through the familiar hoard of treasure and trash Uncle Scrooge kept up here, Della made her way up the hidden stairs at the end of the room. The steps up the roof were slightly dusty out of disuse, and she briefly wondered if the boys realized there were stairs beyond the attic.The air was even cooler once she got to the roof. Muscle memory guided her feet as she reached the little alcove above the attic window that gave them a safe perch to sit on.

“I had a feeling you’d be up here.”

Donald’s nod was barely perceptible. He stayed quiet until she settled down comfortably, and shared a minute of silence. 

Then “I stopped talking to Uncle Scrooge after you disappeared. Stopped coming to see him. Stopped visiting this house. I didn’t regret that, I was mad at him. What I did miss was this spot.” Donald’s voice was clear, but the pain was even clearer to Della.

Della felt a weight on her chest. “Don-”

“I thought you were dead.” His tone was flat, eyes hard, fists clenched.

That shut her up.

“I hoped and waited for so long, Della will come back, Della always comes back, she is the best of us.” Tears gathered at Donald’s eyes, slowly started to pour down his cheeks. “But you didn’t. And I wanted- I wanted to drown my sorrows, I wanted to build a rocket and bury myself among the stars with you, I wanted-” Donald hiccuped as he curled his fingers into a tight fist. His voice was shaking with anger.

Della felt her own tears racing down her cheek.

“I wanted to find you Della. Or I wanted to die trying. All I knew was that I couldn’t live in a world without you in it.” Donald hiccuped again as he rubbed at his eyes. “The only thing that kept me here, kept me sane, were your hatchlings.”

“I spent every second I wasn’t with you trying to get back to all of you.” Della whispered.

Donald turned to finally face his sister, looking her in the eye. “I know you did. I know it in my bones. But that still doesn’t erase the fact that you left Della. I know you didn’t mean to get stranded. Or to take so long to get back. But for so long.” Donald cleared his throat, rubbing at his eyes with his sleeve before taking Della’s hand in his.

“So long I was angry. I was sad. But mostly I was lonely. I was raising my nephews and it was so unfair. They should have had you. The first face they saw when they hatched was you. When Dewey said his first word, it should have been ‘Mom’. When I finally managed to coax Louie to eat that damn banana, you should have been with me to cheer. When Huey took his first steps, you should have been the first to catch him. And it.” Donald choked. “It is all so, so, so fucking unfair Della.”

Della bit her lip, closing her eyes and letting the pain she had been pushing away all these years to finally break, and soon she was heaving sobs. She felt her brother envelop her in a hug so tight it must have been hurting him too, but the twins clutched each other tight, letting go of over a decade’s worth of pain together. “When I saw the Spear crash site, I thought I was dreaming. I called out for you, so happy you had made it home, relieved, I had been right. My sister had found her way back home even from the stars.” Della sobbed harder, and Donald rubbed her back comfortingly.

“Of course then I accidentally wound up on the moon, but that’s a story for another day.” He joked. Della just sniffled.

Donald held her until Della’s cries petered out, replaced with small hiccups. Donald started to move away only to be pulled closer to Della as she grabbed his arm and held it in place around her. When he settled behind her, she leaned on his shoulder.

“When I was up there, everyday, every single day, I was trying to get home Donald. To them. And to you. I wanted to see all those things, and I could picture it all so clearly in my head. But you know what I never had to worry about?”

When Donald stayed silent, Della turned her head to look him in the eyes.

“I knew that no matter how long it took me to get home, you would be with the boys. I am so sorry I put you through all this, for thinking I was dead.” Della felt her voice crack at the next part. “But thank you. Donald, thank you so much for raising them. You have done such a good job. Probably better-”

“Shut up Della.” Donald interrupted, voice equally annoyed and fond. “Just. What did you think I was going to do with them? Abandon them? They are my kids too Della. I consider them my kids, not my nephews. Every day, I was so scared I was not doing right by you, that I was messing things up, and it would have been better if you had been here.”

“You would never abandon them Donald. But you did not have to make them your responsibility either. And that is something I am never going to be able to repay you for. You are a wonderful dad to them Donald, and I am so proud of them all. I can see so much of myself in them, and I know that is because of you.”

“I would never have let them forget you.” Donald said sincerely.

Della gulped again, rubbing her eyes hard to stop herself from crying again.

“I missed you so much.”

“Me too Dell, me too.”

Della laughed a wet laugh.

“You’re the only one who calls me that.”

“I’m the only one allowed to call you that!” Donald replied, faux indignation flooding his voice.

Della laughed again, hard enough to make her belly hurt. By the time she quietened, Donald was looking at her fondly.

“Yeah you are Donny.”

Donald started to quack in real indignation this time, setting Della off again.

The two stayed up for a little longer, long enough to see colour start to flood the horizon again before they got up and made their way to Della’s bedroom.

She was not ready to part with her brother just yet.

///

Come morning, Scrooge was making his daily round through the mansion, enjoying the short while the place was still asleep. As he walked past Della’s room, he saw the door was slightly ajar, so went to close it, only to pause when he caught a glance at the scene.

There, in Della’s queen size bed, the twins were curled up close together, in the same position Scrooge remembered seeing so very often when they were wee kids, running around and causing havoc in his house. He’d even bet a dollar that they were holding hands in between them.

Feeling a newly-becoming-familiar warmth flood his heart, Scrooge stood for a few minutes just watching them, a fond smile over his face. A cough from the end of the hallway had Scrooge closing the door loudly in surprise, only to find Beakley at the end of the hallway with a knowing look in her eyes.

“Your whole family is back under one roof Sir.”

Scrooge cleared his throat, straightening his back even as he felt the strangest urge to sink to his knees in relief and happiness. “So they are. I think it deserves a celebratory breakfast doesn’t?”

Beakley bowed her head slightly. “I’ll get started on it right away.”

Saying so, she moved away, heading towards the kitchen.

Scrooge cracked the door open just the tiniest gap to see both Donald and Della were still fast asleep, and then walked back to his room to start his day, a feeling of complete contentment making him feel like he was floating.

[excorcismic]

YES i caved n’ decided to pick up my boy and YES i’m trying ,,, to right a quick rundown and plotting post while yearning for the sweet release of sleep bc orientation sapped me of all my energy BUT !! i’m , , ,  so excited . to pick up leon . so excited . i love this man more than anything and i’m OVER THE MOON to pick him up so let’s get on with it before i repeat myself one more time !!

IN A CANON NUTSHELL : so leon is a character originating from resident evil 2 ; he’s considered one of the chief protagonists of the series , but not the first . in his first appearance he’s a rookie cop and his first day on the job , raccoon city is overrun by zombies ( infected humans rather than the undead , though ) and after that day . . . leon can’t do it & because of his heroism for dealing with the raccoon city debacle , he’s made into a government agent instead . in resident evil 4 , he’s tasked with rescuing ashley - the president’s daughter - and ends up uncovering & battling a cult known as the los illuminados as they have their own zombie virus known as the plaga . then . . . in resident evil 6 dude ends up actually . killing the president because of the president getting infected with a zombie virus . long story short , leon’s been through a shit ton of zombie apocalypses ( and other monsters the virus creates ) and he’s exhausted . he tries to go on a vacation and then chris redfield busts in like that dancing paul rudd gif so even THEN homie can’t catch a break . but he’s a very good dude & perhaps one of the most good-hearted , selfless people on the planet - it’s just sad because he started out with so much hope and after witnessing so much horror that hope fades and is replaced with exhaustion & even a bit of cynicism . but not enough as to where he turns into a person that won’t give you the shirt off his back because oh yeah , he is . he’s just maybe a bit more distant and doesn’t smile as much as he used to . 

IN AN ALUCARD NUTSHELL : so leon is a former paramedic ( that sometimes still is called to do things ) turned hospital nurse - he was known for being the hero of the story multiple times in horrifying cases , and he’s overall gotten a pretty good reputation as a medic . however , the reason why he moved onto nursing was because the stress got too much for him for those dire situations after his divorce from his wife - miss cordelia chase . and now he’s just kind of trying to get through things but . things aren’t the best on his end even though he’ll try his best to power on through . he’s pretty okay but not great you know ?? 

BUT OOOOHHHH YOU WANNA PLOT WITH LEON SO BAD OOOOHHH

just to start off by saying idk if this list will be as long as misa’s bc it’s currently shortly after midnight and i’m getting more and more tired & incoherent as the clock just ticks away -

BUT ANYWAY . ppl who routinely come into the office / hospital he works at would be p cool and know him pretty well as a nurse from that . he doesn’t work in the ER most of the time ; though sometimes . he mainly is in the office doing stuff for checkups and all , clinical things . honestly tho it would be a bit of an interesting connection if sb went to the ER for embarrassing / stupid reasons ( party gone embarrassingly wrong , for example ) and leon’s the guy that has to help with it . just a Thought .

also coworkers !! idk if we have anyone from the medical field yet but there’s also that .

again he was married to cordelia so if ppl who know cordelia know him as cordelia’s ex-husband we can run w/ that and make smth out of that as well .

leon is also . kinda . lonely . like misa . can y’all see I Have A Type when it comes to muses AHHH - but anyways he spends a lot of his nights at bars and stuff so maybe some drinking/bar buddies he sticks with or the like . maybe waiters/bartenders who know him pretty well just from the fact he’s a regular , kinda know what’s going on with the dude .

like misa , neighbors . he’s not a spunk twenty-four year-old emo-fashioned mr. rogers like misa is but he’s a caring dude who looks out for them .

speaking of caring - maybe some ppl leon’s saved as a paramedic or in general just patients he treated for a while ?? i just . rly like the thought of leon caring for people on the job and then he finds them outside of it and he subtly cares for them off the job too . maybe even if it’s doing as much as sitting with them or comforting them when a loved one’s in the hospital or something . idk i just . like how much leon cares abt people .

okay so people from high school bc i lowkey headcanon leon wasn’t a troublemaker but he was more of a bad boy/rebel type just for the fact he had a tendency to do things that weren’t . by the rules . by the book . never mean or anything just maybe sometimes would hang out at abandoned buildings or late at night and now he’s significantly mellowed out and maybe that rebel is still somewhere inside of him but ur gonna have to dig it out a bit . and this could rly be anything too like friends , enemies , exes ( leon is bi u can pry that from my cold dead hands ) , etc . prom / homecoming dates , people who only knew him as a kid that got busted once for drinking alcohol in the back of somebody’s truck , etc . let’s have Fun with this .

also in general , just some good friends he’s always had ?? people who’ve known him for a long while and have still stuck with him .

exes !! whether it be pre-marriage or post-divorce . post-divorce i don’t think leon would rly stick in the relationship for long given he more than likely was not prepared at the time ( probably didn’t go past a few months , def some were just one-shot dates ) . again , he’s bi & capcom cannot take that away from me .

maybe a found family of sorts - leon . . . would be a great dad so maybe some younger folks he kinda dads over without meaning to .

AND AGAIN RLY . . . anything i’m sorry if this isn’t as detailed as misa’s bt IF I GET MORE IDEAS I SHALL ADD !!

this is long again i’m so sorry bt again react or like if ur interested in any of these connections !! imma retire 2 mobile n try to get some shut-eye .

[mycatshuman]

Good Deeds

Prologue

Based on Tyler Perry's "Good Deeds"

Pairings: Eventual Prinxiety, pre-established Logicality, brotherly Thomas and Virgil

Warnings: mentions of drinking, addiction, arguments, homelessness, financial struggles, angst, lots of it, Remus is in this but I toned him down slightly, I think, Please let me know if I missed any.

Word count: 1,754

Other Chapters

So, I'm going to the store in about 20 minutes and still have to get ready so I'm rushing throwing this post together but here. Thank you so so much to @civilsounds17 for putting up with my mess

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Roman let out a sigh as he climbed out of bed. He went through his morning routine with dull movement. He pulled on a dull grey suit and a dull red tie. He slipped on his shiny black dress shoes and ate a bowl of plain oatmeal. He grabbed his briefcase and left his apartment before heading to his car.

He wasn't always like this. He used to be joyful. He used to be so lively. But when his father made him head of his company months before his death, Roman's world was turned upside down. He was stuffed into a suit and tie and shoved behind a desk. After weeks of working tirelessly at a desk with no change, the life from Roman was drained. His brother, took to drinking to cope with his father's death and the betrayal he felt at not being made head of the company. Life was pretty consistent. Something that drained the energy from Roman with each passing day.

Roman let out a sigh as he pulled to a stop outside of his brother’s apartment building. He glanced towards the door and noticed said brother, Remus screaming at some man and throwing clothes at him. Roman closed his eyes and leaned over the center console and shoved open the passenger door. "Remus! Get in the car!" He shouted. He grimaced as he heard more screaming and then his brother was falling into the passenger seat. "Remus-"

"Just drive!"

Roman closed his eyes, taking a deep breath, he put the car into drive and began the drive to work. "When do you get your license back?"

Remus glanced over at Roman angrily. "What? Sick of driving me already?"

Roman let out a noiseless sigh. "No, I was just asking." The smell of alcohol wafted through the car.

"Mom won't talk to the judge."

Roman sighed. "Why can't you get your license back like every other person who has had several DUI's?"

Remus grumbled as he glared angrily out the window. "Dad would have."

"Remus, we love you-"

"Mom has a weird way of showing it."

Roman went to speak before closing his mouth and changing his mind. "There's a tie in the glove box. Put it on, we're meeting our mother for lunch."

Remus's eyes flared. "Wh-"

Roman shook his head. "No, Remus. Don't argue, okay. Just-" Roman sighed. "Just don't."

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Virgil rushed about the apartment, hurriedly trying to get ready for work and trying to make sure his younger brother was ready for school in time when a knock sounded at the door. He winced and opened the door to find the landlord waiting outside. "Virgil-"

Virgil shook his head, his dark purple hair falling in front of his eyes. "Listen, I'll have the money today, I just don't have it right now."

The landlord's face twisted painfully. "Virgil, I just- she already filed for the eviction."

Virgil nodded. "I know, just- I need just a few more hours, okay? Tell her I'll have it soon, alright?" He quickly closed the door and rushed back to the bedroom. Thomas watched as he pulled his shoes on. Virgil shoved his hand inside the hole in his brothers mattress and pulled out a wad of cash. He counted out a few hundred dollars. Still, the amount was just short of the money he needed. He looked up and noticed Thomas in the doorway looking at him worriedly as he shoved the money back in the hole.

"Are we gonna be put out?" He asked.

Virgil closed his eyes with a sigh. He summoned optimism that he didn't believe and stood up. "No. No we're not Thomas." He put on the realest smile he could and showed him out the door. "Come on, you're gonna be late for school. I'm gonna have to make a stop before you go to school."

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Roman pulled into the parking garage. He drove slowly until he got to his reserved parking spot. However, before he could pull in, an SUV haphazardly pulled in. He put his car in park and climbed out as a pale man jumped out of the SUV. The man had a black hoodie on, with patches of purple plaid sew on random spots with white thick stitching sew throughout. Roman immediately thought of an emo nightmare. "Hey, sir, that's my parking spot," Roman called. The emo nightmare paused and glanced at him with disdain before hurrying up the ramp and towards the elevator. "Sir! Sir!"

Remus climbed out of the car. "Why are you calling him sir?"

"Remus, don't-"

"Hey, bitch!"

Roman winced. The emo nightmare came back and glared at them. "Listen, I'm only gonna be a few moments." He turned and walked back inside.

Remus quickly pulled out his cell. "Hey, listen, this is Remus Deeds, I need a tow truck. This man parked in my brothers spot."

Roman frowned as his brother hung up. "This man left his son? In the car." He walked over and the young boy looked over, his straight, chocolate brown hair falling over his eyes. "I'm not supposed to talk to strangers." Roman bit his lip and turned climbing into his car. Pulling out his phone he called his adviser. "Hey, Logan? Can I'm gonna have to transfer the conference call to my car, this man parked in my spot and I'm waiting to park my car, so.."

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Virgil walked to the desk and the man in front of him looked up. "Hey, Patton, I, um, need my check, please." Patton's face twisted into a painful expression as he handed over the envelope.

"Listen, Virgil-"

"Wait, where-?" His face twisted as he read over the amount. "This-where's the rest of it?"

"You're behind on taxes and the IRS will be docking your pay for the next few months. There's a night shift that I need to fill-"

Virgil closed his eyes and left out a huff. "Yeah, I'll take it." He sighed. "I'll be back in time for my shift, I gotta take my brother to school." Patton watched as the younger left, his heart twisting painfully.

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Roman and Remus sat in their car, listening to the person on the other end of the conference call. "With Dante leaving, where does that put us, Logan?" Roman asked.

"Not in a good place. They were 75% of our profit, Roman."

Roman frowned at the information the leveled voice gave him. "Hold on, last I checked, they were at 60, when did it get to 75?"

"When Remus offered them a 12% discount on all new products. They upped their deal."

Roman glanced at Remus.

"At the time, it was a good idea."

Roman closed his eyes with a frown. "Okay, get all the financial info you can on Brunson. I'm gonna be burning the midnight oil on this. I'll be up in a second, Logan."

Roman glanced out the window as a Harley drove by. He felt that nostalgic yearning he had felt years ago, when he was on his way to becoming who he wanted to be, when he was on his way to becoming a star. He turned his gaze away. He couldn't get lost in the past. He hand to focus on the now. Even if it hurts.

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Virgil walked outside to find a tow man hooking up his car. "No!" He screamed as a look of horror passed over his face. He raced over and flung open the door and climbed in and sat next to his brother and pulled him into his grasp, his breathing quickened as his heart beat rapidly.

"That's what you get you, dumbass!" Remus yelled at him. Roman frowned as he climbed out of his car.

The little boy turned to Roman. "Please don't let him take my brother's car!" He cried. Roman felt his heart twist painfully as the older brother squeezed his eyes shut, a small tear leaked from his eyes. Roman closed his eyes.

"Hey," he called, getting ahold of the tow man's attention. "Let it down." The car was lowered and Roman grabbed his things from his car, it would be parked for him, that way he could get to work. The emo nightmare climbed out of his car and shut the door. "Ass," he muttered under his breath as he climbed into the front seat. Roman frowned but let out a relieved sigh that his brother hadn't heard. He highly doubted murder would look good on his brother's record.  

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Virgil rushed through the halls of school to Thomas's classroom. "I know, I'm late, I'm sorry. I'll make sure he's on time tomorrow."

The teacher stopped him. "Listen, Virgil, if he keeps being late I'm gonna have to call child wealthfare. You bring him to school late and you pick him up late. Start being on time and I won't call."

Virgil froze. "I'm- I'm gonna make sure he's on time. I-I have to go to work but he'll be on time tomorrow. And the next. I'll make sure of it." Virgil quickly rushed out and drove back to the apartment to pay the rent only to find people rooting through a bunch of things sitting at the curb. His eyes widened as he realized it was his things. He pulled over and scrambled out to frantically grab as much as he could. The landlord came over to help grab as much as he could and help Virgil. For that, Virgil was grateful. Not that he mentioned it. He was too busy focusing on grabbing their things.

He made sure to grab as much of his brothers things as he could and searched for the money he saved in the mattress only to find it gone. His face twisted painfully as he pulled himself off the ground and went to his car, shoving the things inside, he drove off, to work until he had to pick up Thomas from school. He really didn't want to have to face his little brother when he found out they were homeless. Tears streamed down Virgil's face. They were homeless. What kind of brother was he?? He couldn't even take care of himself and here he was trying to stay afloat for his brother and he couldn't. Virgil closed his eyes briefly as he sat at a red light. His brother deserved so much more. But he couldn't trust anyone else with his brother. He took a deep breath. He had to do this. For his brother. He had to. He couldn't let him down.

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Taglist: @spxced-oxt @superwholocked-for-life @mirror2thespirit @aroundofapplesauce @roman-flair @lyditist