#sorry all my text posts lately are negative

[charlieshorseshirt]

guys in one night i found and followed this guys instagram (i met him once and we barely talked but we have mutual friends ) i impulsively cosplayed newt geiszler

i had a full on sobbing breakdown over an isopod i found and named george

[vvenuspng]

i have an inkling.. i might start to feel ok enough to post soon.. at some point.. eventually...!! <3 so!! maybe art?!! who knows……..

[vanillabat99]

I think I am slowly accepting that I will never be able to be "fully independent". Even though I am living with my family, I still require help and care that they aren't able to provide due to having work or school. There have been many times, especially recently, where I have been stuck in bed, alone, and hungry, with nobody able to help me. I am not able to leave the house on my own, I struggle to make phonecalls, I can't remember important medical information or insurance information, I am rarely able to make meals for myself. I can barely wash my own hair. I don't qualify for any kind of homecare, since I live with my family, and I don't have anyone who can visit me to help like that.

I don't think I will ever be as independent as I hoped I would be. I wanted to move out, have a job, go to university. As time goes on, I'm less and less sure I will be able to finish highschool. It is very difficult trying to figure out what I am able to do. I have had to give up on many plans and dreams, and I'm not sure what I have left to work with.

Disability is hard. I know it looks like I sleep all day and do nothing, but I am simply trying to survive in a world that was not built with me in mind. After lots of time and effort, I want to be alive and have a life that makes me happy, and I want to figure out how to have that. I want to know what "happy" can look like for me. I want to know what my options are, if I can have a place of my own, if I can get help when I need it.

I want to be alive. The world makes it hard, but I want to be alive.

[hysteria-things]

(say the reader is famous also, but not an influencer—maybe like a well known model) hear me out, being close friends with madi and you guys end up moving in together and getting your first apartment

and you come home later than usual one night after ‘hanging out’ with matt and madi knows something is up just by the way you’re walking all slow and stuff and you eventually tell her that you had sex with matt for the first time and she’s just like “omgggggg????? tell me EVERYTHING!” and despite not being able to laugh too hard or else you’ll feel like your pussy is going to rip open LOL you two are just sitting on the couch giggle and talking about the whole thing

PERFECT

𝐩𝐚𝐢𝐫𝐢𝐧𝐠: soft dom!matt x fem!reader

𝐬𝐮𝐦𝐦𝐚𝐫𝐲: although you’re a well-known model, you’ve been feeling insecure about your body lately. matt thinks it’s bogus, and wants to prove you wrong.

𝐰𝐚𝐫𝐧𝐢𝐧𝐠𝐬: SMUT, insecurity, praising, oral (female receiving), pet names, p in v

𝐰𝐨𝐫𝐝 𝐜𝐨𝐮𝐧𝐭: 2,075

𝐚𝐮𝐭𝐡𝐨𝐫’𝐬 𝐧𝐨𝐭𝐞: i kind of hate this😔

before you and matthew sturniolo started seeing each other, he would always lurk on your instagram page. the two of you met through madi, who is your best friend. you guys met at an event a few years ago and clicked instantly. fast forward to today’s time, where you now share an apartment.

you noticed matt being subtle on your page at the beginning of whatever you guys have going on. no, it’s not friends with benefits, being that you guys haven’t had sex yet. he would leave comments such as fire emojis or hypes until he was brave enough to text you a few months ago. that’s how your relationship came to be. nobody knows about it, not even madi or his brothers. you guys made the mutual decision to keep it on the down low for now.

walking through the boy’s bedroom door, you go over to the side of the bed that you sleep on, gathering some of your belongings. you just got back from a photoshoot. being a model has its ups and downs, especially when you’re on the chubbier side. you get a lot of praise from your fans, saying how you’re an inspiration. sometimes, however, it can be frustrating.

“i don’t get a kiss or even a hug?” matt says, who looks away from his phone to stare at you putting your stuff in the overnight bag you always bring.

you look over your shoulder and smile. “sorry.”

as you’re placing the bag down, he’s already sat up and sitting at the end of the bed. you go to kiss him on the temple, but instead, he pulls you over his lap to where you straddle him — although you hover a bit.

he pouts. “you’re not staying the night again?”

shaking your head, you brush a piece of hair away from his face. “i told madi i’ll be home tonight. i feel bad whenever i leave her alone, and i can’t keep up with the ‘my mom needs me to sleepover’ excuse.”

a sigh comes out as more of a groan, his lips traveling to your jaw, pecking down your neck and nipping at the skin. “you can’t put marks, matt.” you say in a whine as he reaches your sweet spot. you take a look at the clock on the nightstand, reading 9:14 pm. “it’s getting late and i have to go. i mean it.”

you get out of his grasp, another sigh leaving his body more dramatically.

matt furrows his eyebrows; something’s not right. he can sense something is bothering you, he just can’t put his finger on it. “what’s wrong?”

laughing nervously, you shake your head. “i’ll get over it.”

“that’s not what i asked— hey.” when you ignore him, he grabs your wrist to turn you around. “look at me, please. tell me what’s bothering you.”

you hate how matt’s so good at this game. he can tell when you’re upset, even in the slightest way possible. you can sugarcoat your true feelings with fake happiness, and he’ll still notice that something isn’t right.

on occasion, you like to look at comments under the recent posts that you make. most of the comments are positive, but one of the downsides of the modeling community is the negative ones. you try your best to ignore them, but sometimes they hurt. this is one of those times.

“i don’t like my body.” you barely whisper, fidgeting with his necklace as you think back to the haters.

“what?” he asks confused.

“forget about it.” you start, tugging at your hoodie sleeves. “seriously, i’ll get over it. it’s stupid people saying shit online. it happens to everybody. it’s fine.”

you do love your job, don’t get yourself wrong, but showing off your body in lingerie as a career can attract the wrong people. in general, it’s quite nerve-wracking. he kisses your cheek before his breath is against your ear. “you’re fucking gorgeous.” he bites the lobe. “let me show you, hm?”

his fingertips brush from your thighs to the hem of your shirt. “can i?” a pulsing sensation starts between your legs, taking your bottom lip with your teeth and nodding.

your shirt ends up on the floor, matt reaching behind your back to unclip your bra that ends up where your other piece of clothing is. he stares, a wide grin plastering his face. “shit.” he says lowly, squeezing your breasts before running his hands down to the buttons of your shorts. the pulsing remains, becoming much stronger.

heart thumping, you don’t make a peep as your shorts and underwear drop to the ground. you’re refusing to look down at your body, but that’s all matt is admiring. a chill runs up your spine as his lips kiss your flesh like before, but it’s more heated while you’re naked and he’s still fully clothed.

they trail to your tits, matt kneeling to reach your stomach and kissing your stretch marks, too. “so pretty.” he mumbles, ending at your thighs and repeating these actions until you’re face to face again.

going over to the bed, he lays back flat and gestures for you to come over as well. you hesitate but do so. he maneuvers your body to hover over him, or in this case, over his face. “i don’t want to hurt you.” you whine, knowing what he wants you to do.

the eye roll is so intense that it’s like you said the most out-of-pocket thing he’s ever heard in his life. “you’re soaked.” he exhales. “all of this for me?”

pink creeps on your cheeks and you nod like how you did before. being so turned on makes it almost impossible to speak. squeezing your plush thighs to keep you in place, he lowers you onto his mouth.

a gasp falls past your lips, his tongue flicking at your folds. you want to get pressure off of him at least a little bit, but he has you fully sat on his face, and he fucking loves it. soft moans along with the slurping noise fill the room, matt’s head shaking at times to feel all of you on his tongue. your pussy tastes incredible to him.

sucking at your clit, his tongue enters your sopping hole. you throw your head back, chest heaving when your moans turn into whimpers. he has you stable in his grip, pure bliss fogging your brain. “oh my god!” you cry out, slamming your eyes shut and grabbing onto his hair.

matt hums, the vibration making your legs close around his head. a hotness forms in your tummy, orgasm building the more his muscle laps in your cunt. “mm— i’m gonna cum.” you gasp, his mouth returning to your clit and sucking at your bud. you swear out loud, legs shaking while you make a mess on his face. you feel his tongue lick the excess cum from your thighs, flinching every time he does so.

in the blink of an eye, he uses his strength to flip you onto your back. your breath hitches as he runs his bottom lip up your body, the clinking of his belt entering your ears until his pants fall join the clothing pile. leaning up to take his shirt off, a grin plasters over his face, admiring your body in every way possible. you lift your head to look down at his rock-hard cock, mouth watering at the sight.

he wraps his hand gently around your throat to push your head back onto the mattress. “you want this dick?” he coos, teasing the tip at your entrance to coat it with your juices. you whine lowly, rutting your hips to get more friction. “hm?”

“y-yes.” you stammer, letting out a choked moan as matt starts pushing himself slowly into your hole. the stretch feels mesmerizing, your eyes fluttering closed when he rolls his hips.

“this pussy has been waiting for this.” he says, humming with contentment when your walls wrap around him. “you look so sexy underneath me.”

“f-faster, please.” you choke out, gripping onto the sheets by your sides.

the movement of his hips plow into you more, your ass slapping against his thighs and an erotic sound comes from where you two are conjoined. numerous curses and whimpers escape your body. his balls slap repeatedly against your clit, the feeling making you gasp and your legs shake. “fuck, matt! yeah!”

“i bet those haters are just jealous they can’t have this beautiful body to themselves.” he starts, pausing to catch his breath. “they can’t fuck it like i can.”

“y-you can’t say that.” you whimper, until the two fingers without rings pacify you. you gag a little around them before you start to suck on them, drool dribbling down your chin. the bed starts to squeak when you wrap your legs around his waist to have him go deeper, your moans muffled by his fingers when he hits your g-spot, back arching from the bed.

“there she is.” he whispers, smiling proudly. “that’s it. you want to cum, baby?”

you clench around his shaft, legs shaking more than they were before. you nod eagerly, the knot tightening in your belly. matt groans, watching your hands go to your breasts to tease and pinch the nipples for more stimulation. you can’t make it out, but you could’ve sworn he mumbles so hot under his breath when his dick twitches inside of you. your eyes roll back, mouth opening wide to scream of pleasure.

body trembling, the knot becomes undone when your cum smears down his red dick, the sight having matt pull out with a whimper. he strokes himself a few times before painting your stomach white.

he collapses on top of you, pecking your lips and whispering sweet nothings into your ear. you get a glimpse of the clock and sigh. 10:32 pm. talk about getting home early.

⋆⁺₊⋆ ❦ ⋆⁺₊⋆

you finally get to your apartment complex forty-five minutes or so later. you live on the third floor and usually take the stairs, but you’re so soar that you wobble yourself into the elevator. you walk as fast as your legs can take you down the hallway to your front door, keys jingling once you tap the key fab to open it. a beep noise echos, meaning you succeeded.

once you turn the handle, you're greeted with the TV lighting up the living room and madi’s head snapping in your direction where she’s sitting on the couch. “it’s about time! did you not see my texts or calls? you had me worried. you’re never this late after a shoot.”

“i’m sorry.” you exhale. “i had to make a pit stop.”

her eyes slit, watching the way you’re semi-limping to the seat next to her. you grunt when you manage to sit, looking over to see her mouth agape but smiling. “what?”

“you had sex.”

“you don’t know that.” you scoff, but hide your face as much as possible when you blush, reminiscing about tonight.

“girl.” she gives you the are-you-serious stare. “you’re practically shining with the post-orgasm glow, and you came walking in here like an old lady. who was it with? do i know them? tell me, tell me, tell me!”

madi grabs onto your arms and shakes them in excitement, bouncing on her knees on the cushion. “mattandihavebeenseeingeachotherbehindeverbody’sbacks.”

her nose scrunches. “huh?”

you exhale sharply, checking your phone that’s on your lap to see some messages from the boy that had you screaming on his cock over an hour ago. “matt and i have been seeing each other behind everybody’s backs.”

she claps her hands once, awfully loud, before pointing at you. “i fucking knew it. tell me everything. pretty please.”

so you do. you explain everything — well, you leave out the explicit details — and she’s beaming the whole time as you speak. your phone goes off again, and she grabs it before you can. “madi, come on!” you screech between giggles. she reads the messages with wide eyes, and you peek over her shoulder to see.

matt :)

babe

you left your bra here

should i try it on?

i’ll look good in it

hello :(

did you fall asleep already?

i think we should make it official

be my girlfriend please

i’ll see you tomorrow

i love you

whoops never said that before

oh well!

goodnight <3

𝐭𝐚𝐠 𝐥𝐢𝐬𝐭!

@bunbunbl0gs @lexisecretaccx @thy-mission @angelic-sturniolos111 @sophssturn @moncherriis @janiellasblog @blahbel668 @meg-sturniolo @mattslolita @sturnbaby @imwetforyourmom @tillies33ssss @sturnifyed @raysmayhem-72 @ripmattitude @p1xieswrld @alorsxsturn @multiluvr @delilahprentiss @tworosesblackthorn @gnxosblog @junnniiieee07 @flowerxbunnie @imaslut4kehlani @sturniolosandmoree @hearrtsturns @stars4matt @freshsturns @etershine @tpvmz @sukiipjs @h3arts4harry @sturnioloblogs @creamoncreamoncream2 @ivyyyyyysposts @iluvm4ttsturni0l0 @mbsbaby @mattsdollie @thesturniolos @nononopenono1 @bitchydragonparadise @gdsvhtwa @hrt-attack @dwntwn-strnlo @venusbabysblog @meerkatzthings @bernardsbendystraws @hoes4matthew

[khunyuki]

"I've lived my life with blade and you always in my mind"

ꜱɪᴅᴇ ꜱᴛᴏʀʏ: 𝚋. 𝙹𝚎𝚊𝚕𝚘𝚞𝚜𝚢, 𝙹𝚎𝚊𝚕𝚘𝚞𝚜𝚢

Synopsis: Uzui Kagami admires Captain Ashiro Mina but that doesn't mean it didn't bother her whenever she hears Soshiro talk about her all of the time. Meanwhile, Hoshina Soshiro doesn't really think of Captain Narumi Gen as a threat but with how clingy he is to Kagami, boy does it feel so annoying.

Pairing/s: Hoshina Soshiro x Fiancee!OC

Notes: Sorry I posted this late, I had a hard time writing it but enjoyed it in the end. I love jealous Soshiro who acts like he isn't jealous at all <3 Also, stop being so negative, Kagami! Soshiro loves you with all his heart😭

Warning/s: Side-B manga spoiler, overthinking, jealousy

Genre: Song-inspired (kinda), Angst? (kinda), Hurt/Comfort (kinda)

Masterlist: TOC, Previous, Next

𝓒𝓸-𝓬𝓸𝓶𝓹𝓪𝓻𝓲𝓼𝓸𝓷 𝓲𝓼 𝓴𝓲𝓵𝓵𝓲𝓷𝓰 𝓶𝓮 𝓼𝓵𝓸𝔀𝓵𝔂

𝓘 𝓽𝓱𝓲𝓷𝓴, 𝓘 𝓽𝓱𝓲𝓷𝓴 𝓽𝓸𝓸 𝓶𝓾𝓬𝓱

'𝓑𝓸𝓾𝓽 𝓴𝓲𝓭𝓼 𝔀𝓱𝓸 𝓭𝓸𝓷'𝓽 𝓴𝓷𝓸𝔀 𝓶𝓮

𝓐𝓷𝓭 𝓘'𝓶 𝓼𝓸 𝓼𝓲𝓬𝓴 𝓸𝓯 𝓶𝔂𝓼𝓮𝓵𝓯

𝓘'𝓭 𝓻𝓪𝓽𝓱𝓮𝓻 𝓫𝓮, 𝓻𝓪𝓽𝓱𝓮𝓻 𝓫𝓮

𝓐𝓷𝔂𝓸𝓷𝓮, 𝓪𝓷𝔂𝓸𝓷𝓮 𝓮𝓵𝓼𝓮

𝓜𝔂 𝓳𝓮𝓪𝓵𝓸𝓾𝓼𝔂, 𝓳𝓮𝓪𝓵𝓸𝓾𝓼𝔂

𝓢𝓽𝓪𝓻𝓽𝓮𝓭 𝓯𝓸𝓵𝓵𝓸𝔀𝓲𝓷𝓰 𝓶𝓮

- Jealousy, jealousy by Olivia Rodrigo

~•~•~•~•~•~•~•~•~•~•~•~•~•~•~•~•~•~•~•~•~•~•~•~

Ashiro Mina, the Captain of the Third Division of the Defense Force, is someone Kagami admired starting from the day she joined the force. Just like how she looked up to Shinomiya Hikari when she was still alive.

A charismatic, strong and determined, kind yet strict woman. The one who initiated the change in kaiju neutralization for the better, as well as someone who a lot of people idolize.

It would certainly be strange if someone dislikes her, no?

Said woman was the topic of Kagami and Soshiro's conversation in the study room.

"Captain Ashiro is so amazing! She neutralized that honju from this morning with such ease. That precision, power, and accuracy was so excellent it's like..."

Kagami rambled on and on about how great Captain Ashiro Mina is and how she wants to be someone like her who gives people inspiration etc, etc...

Soshiro just watched his fiancee fondly, nodding his head whenever she looks his way, agreeing with her sentiment. Whenever she talks about something she likes, she could talk for hours on end about it.

"You sure do like her that much, huh?"

"I do! I know it's still too early for me to dream of becoming/doing something as close to what she's done but someday I want to be able to stand as her equal in terms of greatness"

Soshiro loves it whenever she's like this, she's willing to admit that she still need to work hard in order to be what she wanted to become. Her confidence in saying that she'll someday be able to do just that with such assertiveness makes him think that she really can do it in the future.

"Somehow, I'm getting jealous of Captain Ashiro who you like so much. Just joking"

He rested his chin on his hand as he showed her a teasing grin. He was just joking, of course, but seeing her red in the face after was really cute. He ruffled her hair as a sign of affection.

"You're the one I like though"

She muttered those words as softly as a whisper, so silent that he didn't catch it. He had to stop his actions to ask her to repeat it again.

"It was nothing"

"If you say so"

With her firm denial, Soshiro relented and fixed her hair. Her straight and silky hair wasn't really tangled much but it still has to be fixed in order for her to look presentable. He gently used his fingers as a comb, massaging her head slightly while doing so.

"By the way, I have to head to the Third Division tomorrow for a meeting about the goodwill kendo match that'll take place in a month. So I'll have to pass your compliments to the captain myself"

"Noooo"

~•~•~•~•~•~•~•~•~•~•~•~•~•~•~•~•~•~•~•~•~•~•~•~

The next day, Kagami bid him farewell fully expecting him to come back later into the night. She gradually became worried when he doesn't answer her texts or calls. She wasn't able to catch some sleep at all until she received a report about him getting injured while helping with kaiju neutralization.

Immediately, she asked for permission to take the day off in order to look after him. It took a while to get permission but fortunately they allowed it after seeing the bags under her eyes and the increasingly anxious look getting worse by the second.

Kagami immediately got changed and prepared necessary things before going. She didn't use the their division's car, preferring to commute by train or taxi as it was a private affair. After arriving at the hospital he was admitted to, she hurried to his room.

Stopping suddenly after seeing two prominent figure entering his supposed room. It was no surprise that Captain Ashiro would visit him after he got injured under her care.

She didn't want to eavesdrop but she also didn't want to interrupt their conversation. She was about to leave to give them space when she heard the captain thanking her fiancee. Curiosity got ahold of her making her erase her presence and listen to their conversation in the hallway.

"Hoshina, you are indeed a blade specialist. You undoubtedly saved that child's life. Now then, I still haven't heard you answer."

"My answer?"

"Will you join my force, Hoshina?"

That question struck Kagami like lightning.

"I appreciate the offer, but to be honest, I am quite torn. My only talent lies in the blade. But in our last mission, not even those blades were able to be of any assistance."

"Hoshina, will your power not evolve any further?"

"Huh? Oh, no... That isn't... what I meant"

"Then you just have to further polish your swordsmanship, Hoshina. Join my force and master your craft."

"Up till now, I've been treated no better than a tumor in my division. If you're saying even someone like me can be of help... Then I would love to join the Third Division"

"Then it's settled..."

Kagami stopped listening any further and was occupied by her thoughts. Was he... Was he leaving her? No, him leaving their division was fine but couldn't he gave at least talked to her about it first? Her mind was filled with questions and an unsettling feeling.

Due to her zoning out, she couldn't her them talking about her after. With Soshiro asking if she could join them too and Captain Ashiro agreeing as she wanted to ask her to join too if given the chance to talk to each other. She could only settle for requesting that he passed her message to her for now.

Sensing the people inside moving, Kagami snapped out of her thoughts and ran away. Captain Ashiro and Platoon Leader Ebina could only see her long black hair before disappearing in the corner.

"That person seemed familiar"

Captain Ashiro referring to the running female from earlier.

"Maybe it's someone you know, ma'am?"

Platoon Leader Ebina asked, in which Captain Ashiro shook her head.

"Must've been my imagination. Let's go"

~•~•~•~•~•~•~•~•~•~•~•~•~•~•~•~•~•~•~•~•~•~•~•~

Currently, Uzui Kagami was at a cafe resting after shamefully running away. There really wasn't any reason to do so but somehow, she doesn't want anyone to see her. She didn't know why she felt so upset despite them only talking about their mission... And him accepting her offer of moving divisions.

She was happy for him, of course. But deep inside, something was bugging her and she didn't quite know what.

Was it because her fiance was leaving her alone? No that wasn't it. She was fine with him leaving if it meant he could improve even more.

Was it because he was complimented by her idol, hearing her greatly acknowledge her strengths? No that wasn't it. He deserves to be complimented by everyone, not just by Captain Ashiro, because of how amazing he truly is.

Was it because she knew what he meant when he called himself a tumor in their division?...

Or was it because her words couldn't touch him compared to the words of someone greater than her?...

Kagami pinched her skin to snap out her bad thoughts. She shouldn't think too much or else she'll lose sight of herself and the truth.

But what if he's leaving because he no longer wants to be with her? What if he wanted to be by the side of someone stronger like Captain Ashiro? What if it was an excuse to get away from her and break their engagement since he finally realized he could be with someone better than her? What if--

Ah... She was starting to hate herself again and it was her own fault. Kagami used to think negative all of the time but Soshiro always reassured her by being by her side. And now he's leaving...

'Pretend. Let's pretend, Kagami. If we continue to pretend that everything is fine then we'll believe it eventually. It's fine. Everything is fine.'

She thought as she ordered a Mont Blanc for takeout like she wasn't experiencing a mental breakdown.

.

Bracing herself, she rehearsed her words in her mind. She'd tell him she's late because of the long line at the cafe then she saw Captain Ashiro leaving the hospital. Yes, that's fine. She shouldn't tell him she eavesdropped on their conversation and thought the worse. Taking a deep breath, she knocked on the door and smiled like it was nothing.

"I'm sorry I'm late. There was a long line at the cafe so it took a bit too long to buy this"

~•~•~•~•~•~•~•~•~•~•~•~•~•~•~•~•~•~•~•~•~•~•~•~

After joining the First Division, Kagami participated in joint trainings with the rest of the Eastern Division. In the corner of her eyes, she could see her fiancee, now Vice Captain, arriving with Captain Ashiro and the rest of the Third Division.

Somehow, the bubbling and unsettling feeling on the pit of her stomach was starting to resurface and she felt virtually uncomfortable. She'd already forgotten all about it so why did it come back?

"Are you okay? You look pale"

Her friend now superior, Shinonome Rin, noticed her feeling under the weather.

"I'm kinda nervous about being around this many people"

She made an excuse and Rin took her words at face value, knowing how easily nervous she was.

"You can rest back inside if you want. The fun part's for later, for now, it's just formalities"

"Thanks"

Kagami thanked her friend and slipped inside the building. The Ariake Maritime Base is huge but having multiple divisions visit at the same time felt like the atmosphere was cramped. She rested inside for a few minutes before a familiar voice disturbed her.

"Kagami~ Hide me"

Behind her, she could feel the presence of her Captain pressing against her back. His arms were now enveloping her as he is playing his switch, with his chin resting on her head.

"I don't feel the sense of urgency in your voice Captain. Also, aren't you supposed to be with Vice Captain Hasegawa and the others?"

Kagami tried to slip off his grip but failing. Ever since she joined the First Division and got involved with her lazy captain, he's been clinging to her nonstop. Maybe that was her fault cause she kept picking him up and transporting him somewhere, saving his games for him, and hiding him. She reap what she sow.

She bent down and took his knees on her hands and gave him a piggyback ride. Used to it, Captain Narumi Gen rested on her comfortably.

"Captain, did you know that this is an abuse of power?"

"I do but do I care? Nope"

Kagami just sighed as she carried him back to where he came from, the meeting room where all captains and vice captains were present.

The door was being guarded by the platoon leaders of the First Division so they knew to let them in without asking. Her friend, Rin, was shaking her head once again.

The sound of the door opening stopped the conversation the people inside were having, thus bringing the attention to the two of them. The attention and multiple eyes on her was enough to fuel her anxiety and also make her red from embarrassment. She was used to the First Division seeing their antics but not with other divisions, especially her fiance, around.

She hurriedly placed him down besides Vice Captain Hasegawa, who threw her a grateful look, and confiscated his switch. Captain Narumi whined at her betrayal, wanting to sneak out again but was forced to stay put by the hand on his shoulder. Vice Captain Hasegawa begged her to stay and watch over him to which she reluctantly agreed. She was just an officer who had absolutely no right to be present in that meeting but here she is, babysitting her captain.

She couldn't bear to look at her fiance as she didn't know what to do or how to explain her situation to him. All she ever told him was that she's babysitting her captain and not the extent of it. That's why she couldn't see the glare and killing intent he's sending on Captain Narumi's way.

Captain Narumi clearly amused with his rival's expressions couldn't help but feel smug despite not knowing what he's annoyed about. He just felt like he won against Soshiro for once... Not that he ever lost to him. Chuckling, he motioned for her to come near and whispered.

"Look at how pissed Hoshina is. I don't know what I did but it's hella funny"

Kagami was confused for she had never seen her fiance pissed at all. She took a glance at him to see him smiling sweetly at her then back to her captain.

"I think it's just your imagination Captain Narumi"

"Like hell it is"

Hearing Kagami refute him, Narumi Gen just sulked but still relished in his rival's obvious display of irritation.

Kagami turned back to listening to the meeting and focused her attention on the voice of the person currently talking, Captain Ashiro.

Captain Ashiro has now grown into a fine woman but her charisma was still the same. Her face has gotten even more prettier with her silky straight, long black hair placed in a high ponytail.

Kagami touched her own hair styled in a loose braid cascading over her shoulder. She used to style her hair in a high ponytail just like Captain Ashiro's whenever there were missions then let it down when there aren't. Hearing it being compared to each other after Captain Ashiro grew hers made her feel like she had to change her style hence the braid.

She didn't want to admit it but Captain Ashiro became one of the sources of her insecurites and she hates herself for it. Just how could she feel jealous of someone she used to admire the most, still admire until now. Someone she and her fiance admires and deeply respects. Maybe that's why she didn't accept the offer to join the Third Division back then. Or else she'd fall into a deeper rabbit hole of complex emotions she no longer wants to feel.

She always tried to stop that feeling. Never once addressing it as to not let it interfere with her daily life and how she interacts with them. But whenever she and Soshiro talked, he would be praising Captain Ashiro nonstop with how honored he is to be chosen to be by her side.

Still, she pretended that it was fine cause he always reassured her that he only admires Ashiro Mina as his captain. With the same admiration that she felt before that disgusting feeling bubbled up inside her.

"You feeling okay over there?"

Captain Narumi noticed the sad expression on her face that was hidden by her bangs from people in front of her but not the person under her. He expressed his concern towards her and she could totally see that in his eyes.

"Wanna sneak out and play?"

That was his way of comforting his as it is the only way he knows himself. Giggling at his attempts, she karate hopped his head and told him to stop getting distracted. She felt better now than earlier so she gave him back his switch as long as he behaved.

She stopped thinking about her jealousy and just focused. She was given the chance to attend a meeting she would normally not be able to be allowed it. She should take this seriously. Well, at least she should acknowledge her fiance with a smile first after ignoring him for so long.

With a shy smile, she finally gained the courage to look at her fiance who has long since been staring at her and Captain Narumi. She gave him a discreet wave, something only they could see then turned back to listening.

.

"Hoshina, are you alright?"

"Of course I'm fine Captain. Never been better"

Ashiro Mina isn't really afraid of anything, rather she stopped being afraid. But the way he smiled when he said that gave her a bad feeling to which she just ignored, feeling sorry for the recipient of that smile. She remembered how he started getting annoyed when the two came in and recognized that the woman who brought Captain Narumi inside was her vice captain's fiancee. How could she not when she's all he ever talked about when he had the chance. Still, she felt sorry for the beating Captain Narumi will experience later by the hands of the man beside her.

.

Hoshina Soshiro didn't like the way Narumi Gen clinged to his fiancee. Ever since they went inside with him on her back to how she kept placing her hand on his shoulders to keep him still. He didn't like his smug smile as he noticed him glaring and when he made her lean closer to him. He didn't like how he made her smile after seeing that there was something bothering her.

That's fine though, for she finally smiled at him after ignoring him the whole time. That discreet wave of hers that only the two of them could see before the focus back on the meeting again. Despite feeling shy and anxious at a place where she shouldn't be, she still made the effort to notice him.

The problem was that lazyass captain of her that kept clinging and making her babysit him. He guess he should punish him by beating him up during the 1v1 activities later. He has to show him just who is better amongst the two of them. Of course while showing to his girl, after all that is the most important agenda.

<- Previous Next ->

[gisellecnz]

𝐀/𝐧: Okay, first of all—anon, I am SO SORRY TO KEEP YOU WAITING, I've had a new sy started so I was a little busy..😭😭 and I'm sorry maybe you wanted me to answer your ask directly to the post wherein I publish the fic already, so here's a photo of your ask in a screen shot form. 😭 Also, first would be gojo, and then next is Geto!!

𝐩𝐚𝐢𝐫𝐢𝐧𝐠: gojo x reader

𝐜𝐨𝐧𝐭𝐞𝐧𝐭: gojo took longer than expected to go home so reader is worried, angst to fluff, gojo babying you, fluff at the end

tick, tock, tick, tock

You stared at the clock, watching it tick and tock. It was past twelve, and each second felt like it lasted forever.

Satoru told you that he'd be home around 9 or 10 from his three-week overseas mission today, but there was no sound of keys clanging at the door, nor any update from him telling you that he'd be home in how many minutes left.

A tired sigh left from your lips, your eyelids becoming heavy as you slumped down on the couch that was near the entrance – your worry increasing every second for Satoru.

You grabbed your phone that was sat on the wooden table, turning it on as you checked your lock screen to see if there was any notification from Satoru – still none.

You opened the app where you and Satoru always communicated, whenever you two were separated. Your recent message to him – "Satoru? Are things going okay with the mission? How many hours left till you're home?" – was still left on delivered after 5 hours. It didn't show that he was active either. What was going on? He'd always text you back immediately. That was not exactly like him at all.

Anxiety was growing inside you each and every second you think about Satoru. Did something go wrong on his mission? No, you shouldn't think about that. He's strong—he should be able to survive. But what if he encountered a dangerous cursed relic?

Sigh. Negative thoughts kept filling up your mind, you tried to reassure yourself that everything went fine, but it just couldn't stop to the point it brought you to tears.

After a many minutes later, you heard keys jingling outside, indicating that someone is trying to open the door outside. Was that Satoru?

As the door creaked open, you quickly wiped away your tears and sat up straight, your heart pounding in anticipation.

And there, you saw him. Satoru was standing in the doorway. He looked more worn out than usual but was still unharmed. His hair was slightly tousled, and had dried blood stains on his jacket. You eyes looked down to his hands, which were holding on some sweets and a gift for you.

"Hey," he said softly. He noticed the tired look on your face, and the way your eyes we're wet and slightly puffy. Did you stay up all night for him? He felt bad. He closed the door behind him, and dropped his gifts on the couch beside him.

"Satoru, " you breathed out, relief washing over you as you ran to hug him tightly, whilst more tears were running down your face. "I was so worried. You got home so late and you didn't respond to my messages."

"I'm so sorry baby." He said, pulling you into a tighter embrace. Leaning in to give your forehead a gentle kiss. "The mission took longer than expected, and I forgot I had my phone inside my pocket while fighting and it broke...I was absolutely panicking when I realized I wouldn't be able to text you." He pulled back slightly to look at you, brushing a stray tear from your cheek with his thumb. "But I'm here now, yeah? I'm safe, dont worry. You shouldn't have stayed up all night to wait for me baby... " he plants another kiss on your forehead.

You buried your face in his chest, the familiar scent of him calming your racing heart. "B-but... How can I not sleep after you were gone for so many days, and you came home later..." Your words were a bit muffled due to you burying your face into his jacket, giving him a small weak punch on his chest as you sniffled in your cries.

Satoru's face softened into a sad expression, guilt evident in his eyes as he looked down at you. He gently cupped your face, lifting it so your eyes met his. "I know, I know. M'very sorry baby. Didn't mean to make you worry so much."

Seeing the tears streaming down your face made his heart ache. "It's okay baby, don't cry anymore. Hm? It's okay, I'm here now."

He rested his chin on top of your head, "I bought you some sweets and a little gift. I knew you'd be upset once I came back."

"You didn't need too..."

"Why not?"

You can imagine the pout on his face as he starts to gently sway you from side to side, whilst rubbing your back in circles.

"Alright, alright. Let's go back to bed now. Don't want my princess to get sick from staying aaaalll night long just for waiting for me.

in the end you both cuddled so tightly and you woke up to a bunch of gifts, he felt bad about you worrying so much about him and he thought the gifts from last night weren't enough 🥲

[cosmicdream222]

A reminder not to create stories around unwanted circumstances

I saw something like that posted on Twitter a couple months ago (don’t remember who wrote it tho sorry) and it’s been rattling around in my brain ever since. I finally have the personal experience to understand and explain it:

It’s a normal human response to rationalize or try to find reason behind something happening. We do it all the time, we want to know why. Often, we create negative stories in our minds about the past or the future that are totally catastrophic and overblown. And what happens when we persist in a story? It becomes true, even if it wasn’t.

Now on the surface, I thought I had understood that. Lately I’ve been better at not reacting to the 3D, not letting circumstances affect me or let me spiral. But I was still accepting them as fact, and therefore perpetuating them.

Let me give some examples.

Say you look in the mirror and have a new pimple. An anxious, spiraling negative response would be something like “omg another zit, I hate my face. Why do I always have such bad skin?”

That’s obviously reacting to the 3D and letting negative circumstances overcome you, right? So, a more healthy and detached response would be “Oh no, I have a pimple. Maybe it’s because of my period, or I didn’t get enough sleep yesterday. I’ll just take care of it and I know it will go away soon.”

On the surface, this seems like a positive way to turn around a negative thought, but it’s actually still identifying with the negative circumstance, it’s still coming from the state of someone who has a pimple.

The truly detached, living in the end response is literally just something like “my skin is so clear no matter what!”

Another example: your sp is acting distant and not texting back

Unhealthy response: checking phone every 5 minutes. “omg he must hate me, what did I do wrong?”

“Healthy” response that’s still actually identifying with the negative: “He’s probably just busy at work. I know he’ll text me when he has time”

Living in the end: “This man won’t stop texting me! My phone has been blowing up all day!”

To truly avoid letting unwanted circumstances control us, we need to stop identifying with them, even in seemingly positive or healthy ways. Instead of rationalizing or reacting to unwanted situations, focus only on your desired end state and don’t let the 3D sway you otherwise!

[crimsonicarus]

GR RPF FIC REC MASTERLIST!!

Long post!

Big shoutout to @arsenalgbt for suggesting i made a list, here are my fave GR fics, im a multishipper so it will be a couple or ships here, anyway, enjoy!

I wanted to also thank all the authors here listed for their awesome contributions to this lovely fandom, im really grateful for all your work <3333333

If any of the authors here listed would rather have their work taken down from this list please let me know .

new year's resolution by @wormeo-and-juliette

Pairing: OT3 Fernando Alonso/George Russell/Lance Stroll

Lance gets the text from Fernando well into the afternoon on the first day of the year: I slept with George.

Um. What?

eagle eyed by @prettydangrotten

Pairing: OT3 Alex Albon/George Russell/Logan Sargeant

“He’s watching, you know,” Alex says, voice level and conversational, like Logan being in the room is a normal part of this experience, “he’s hard.”

i’m your number one (it’s so obvious) by @63historian

Pairing: OT3 Lewis Hamilton/George Russell/Max Verstappen

“Tell him what you want, Georgie.”

He clenches his hole just as he starts begging, “I need you to come inside me, please, Max, please, I want it so bad.”

And who is Max not to obey such beautiful cries?

positive negatives by @ctimenefic

Pairing: Alex Albon/ George Russell

George doesn’t regret that shoot, exactly.

He had for a long time. After the first high of seeing the rushes wore off; after overhearing a murmured warning in general casting, days too late; after he woke up at three am to reread the release he’d blithely signed without thinking, and spent the next four hours staring at the ceiling hoping to wake up. He’d regretted it then.

For years after, the memory of it could hit like an ice cube sliding down his spine. Always, of course, at the most inconvenient moments. When he was working, or networking, when he needed his wits about him, couldn’t afford to stutter over his words. They’d put him in white silk, or offer him wine, or he’d walk into a room with slow, warm jazz playing, and the whole excruciating mess of it all would come back. He’d learnt how to smile through it, then how not to blink at all.

June is the coldest month of the year by @beabnormal24

Pairing: Max Verstappen/ George Russell

“Just don’t be a stranger, yeah?” It doesn’t sound as empty as George would’ve expected.

Max disappears in Monaco’s breeze with his hands stuffed in the pockets of his jacket and his head turned to the side to look at the coast following him, or it’s him who follows the coast. It’s not that simple to guess when George feels the way he does about him.

He stares at the broad expanse of his back until he’s nothing more than a distant figure just like any other person around and he can pretend that he’s no one in the middle of the world.

The blessing of anonymity, he muses, gripping at the hems of his sleeves.

All of a sudden, his chest feels quiet.

nobody else by ginnydear

Pairing: Alex Albon/ George Russell

The Mercedes garage is almost overwhelmingly busy when Alex walks through the crowds of officials there.

or... what if the world was suddenly plunged into omegaverse and everyone started presenting at once... pt two.

 table in the back by @janinaduszejko

Pairing: Alex Albon/ George Russell

“Okay, here’s the offer." Alex says. "I’m going to make you something and if you don’t like it, you don’t pay. How does that sound?”

“So I get a good meal or a free meal?” George asks. “Sounds like a no-lose scenario.”

“Keen eye, George,” Alex grins. “Figured out my terrible business sense on the first try. Alright, take it or leave it.”

 all green lights

Pairing: Alex Albon/ George Russell

Sorry mate I think you've got the wrong number

chrome wheeled, fuel injected, and steppin' out over the line

Pairing: OT3 George Russell/Lance Stroll/Fernando Alonso

Lance and Fernando have been together for over two years and it is great. It is great apart from one minor detail. They are both dominant tops and the irritation is starting to grind them down. Enter Lance's ex-whatever, George Russell.

But George is not going to be as easy to get on board as Lance and Fernando think. He will give his whole heart but you have to open it up first.

DISCLAIMER: THE FIC IS NOW ON PERMANENT HIATUS

Very common crisis (series) by crimandclove

Pairing: George Russell/ Lance Stroll

January 2024 - George finds himself single, stressed, with a set of tits & one Lance Stroll in his home.

Calls and Cats by @raewritesf1

Pairing: George Russell/Max Verstappen

Things go awry when George’s video call with the quartet is interrupted by the form of a familiar half-naked Dutch driver wielding a Bengal cat in the background.

spread before you like a picnic by @janinaduszejko

Pairing: Alex Albon/ George Russell

Now, weeks later, he thinks that was probably the reason he’d said it, why when he came back to himself and noticed that Alex had manhandled him on his stomach and was in the process of peeling George’s jeans down, his first instinct was to say, panicky: “You can’t fuck me.”

it's not about having someone to love me anymore by linearity

Pairings: Alexander Albon/George Russell, George Russell/Toto wolff

George is an omega. He kind of hates himself for it.

Brake Balance by @russilton

Pairing: Lewis Hamilton/George Russell

"Why don’t you come dance?” With me goes unspoken, and George is eyeing him with a familiar look, like he’s sure Lewis will brush him off again, but he still wants to try.

Maybe it’s the buzz of alcohol. Maybe it’s the shiny skin of a tanned collarbone showing through George’s three open shirt buttons. Maybe it’s just the adrenaline of the whole day in general, but for once, Lewis thinks that sounds like a pretty good idea.

Stop overthinking, just go with it.

Bono’s words echo pointedly around his mind. Fuck it

ode to a conversation stuck in your throat by @prettydangrotten

Pairing: Alex Albon/George Russell

They’d agreed on friends when Alex had come to collect the last of his things from George’s flat. George had been adamant about it, all uncomplicated smiles, like they hadn’t just spent six months living in each other’s pockets and having some of the most bizarrely intimate sex of Alex’s life.

And friends is a noble intention, but. Alex still only has one friend who’s sucked him off in their driver’s room.

Allow yourself this happiness by Sonnenscheintraum

Pairing: Lewis Hamilton/George Russell

i can barely breathe (when you're here loving me)

When Lewis wakes up he knows he's going into rut. He will be able to get through the rainy and cold race in Spa if he takes enough suppressants.

But what if George by his side is actually making it worse for him to keep the rut in check?

How is he supposed to keep himself under control when George looks and smells like the most delicious way and makes him want to claim him?

Pairing: Lewis Hamilton/George Russell

Lewis Hamilton may be the sweetest person who ever stepped on earth and choose not to see the truth, but he deserves so much more than a broken, thirteen years younger college student.

So George does what is best for him.

 See my Vision (tell ‘em) by @russilton

Pairing: Lewis Hamilton/George Russell

“Feeling a little desperate, sweetheart?” It’s clearly rhetorical, but George nods anyway, and bites his lip at the conflicted emotions he sees cross Lewis’ face.

He knows it’s late, closer to Monday morning than Sunday night, but it’s been so long since they’ve had freedom to do whatever they want. He loves racing with his entirety, he even loves the intensive training and strict schedules, but he doesn’t love how the need to keep his body in perfect function for a race keeps him from Lewis.

George and Lewis have three weeks break between Monza and Singapore, and they just can’t wait anymore.

[severalforraelee]

The Girls Part 15: Charles Leclerc x Reader

Photo credit to Mario Renzi / Formula 1 / Getty Images

Word count: 3,167

Written by raelee / Posted Nov 3

Masterlist

Formula 1 Masterlist

The Girls Masterlist

“That lady at table seven is being a downright bitch,” I mumble to Kylie while putting a pile of dirty dishes in the sink.

“What has gotten into you today?” She questions.

“What do you mean?”

“You said that the man at table two’s rude behavior is a defense mechanism for his micropenis. You’re never this negative, Y/N, what’s going on?” 

I take a deep breath, mentally debating whether I want to tell her or not. But the urge to tell someone how I’m feeling outweighs my desire for privacy.

“Okay, you can’t tell anyone,” I begin.

She leans in closer at the words, an inquisitive look on her face.

“Charles and I sort of kissed this weekend.”

She gasps and I pause, thinking. “Well, kissed twice.”

She gasps louder this time, causing a nearby chef to look at us. I smile at him and he smiles back, returning to his current task.

“Tell me everything,” she grabs my hands in excitement.

“The first kiss was at the girls’ birthday party when we were cleaning up and it was totally an accident. And then the second kiss was in the hotel room after putting the girls to bed, and that one was on purpose,” I explain.

“And then?” She grins.

“And then what?”

“Are you guys dating now?”

“Uh… no? Yes? I don’t know,” I admit.

“How do you not know?”

“We didn’t exactly get the chance to talk about it.” She gives me a look and I immediately go into defense mode. “Lucy woke up crying as we were kissing, so I comforted her while Charles took a shower and then when he was done I was already asleep!”

“What about in the morning?” She asks.

“He had to go to Italy immediately and we had to catch our flight home,” I share, “And he’s been so busy at work he hasn’t been able to text me and I don’t want to text him first because I have no clue what’s going on. Plus, he’s much better at this emotion stuff than I am.”

I run a hand through my hair and Kylie’s face drops at the obvious stress that I’m feeling.

“I’m sure that he’s just busy,” she tries to reassure me.

“I know, I just don’t want it to be like when we slept together after he came back into our lives and it turned into a big argument,” I sigh.

“I’m sorry, what?” Her eyes widen. “When did this happen? Why didn’t you tell me?”

I grin, realizing that I never told Kylie about that. Truthfully, I didn’t tell anyone because I was so embarrassed and confused of how it all went down.

“It happened a while ago. Forget that I said anything.”

“Um, after admitting that you slept with your daughters’ father again? I will not forget that.”

I roll my eyes, grabbing the tray of food that was just completed for my table before leaving the kitchen.

“Where are you going? I need to hear everything,” she calls after me.

~

“Thank you for staying late, Cheyenne,” I say to the young girl as I pull off my coat and hang it on the coat rack.

“Oh, it’s no problem, Y/N. By the way, this package came in the mail for you,” she points to the big cardboard box sitting on the kitchen table.

“Thank you. Have a nice night, text me when you get home.” She smiles, closing the door behind her and I lock it.

The scissors cut open the top of the cardboard box and I open the flaps, finding several items inside. I pull out a small, heart-shaped red box, opening it to find red roses neatly packed inside. A smile appears on my face as I set it off to the side, grabbing three, fuzzy red robes, my name, Ada’s name, and Lucy’s name embroidered on separate ones. Three chocolate bars are the next items to exit the box.

A small note is the last thing to come out of the box. I open it, immediately recognizing Charles’ handwriting.

Mon amour,

I’m sorry that we couldn’t talk about what happened before we both had to leave. I sent you some beautiful roses, chocolate, and robes so that you and the girls could pamper yourselves together. See you soon.

XO,

Charles

I clutch the note close to my chest, a smile pulling at my lips. He’s so sweet.

~

“Both Frozens?” Ada asks curiously as I load up the TV with the first Frozen movie.

I look at the clock, debating whether we have enough time tonight to watch both Frozen 1 and 2 and get the girls to bed at a decent enough hour where they won’t be cranky tomorrow.

“Let’s see what time it is when we’re done with the first movie,” I suggest. There’s the sound of the key in the front door and I look over, initially in worry then in excitement once I realize who it has to be.

It’s been a while since I’ve lived with another adult. I’m not used to having another person come and go whenever they want- but to be honest, I don’t really have to worry about that with Charles because he likes to spend as much time with the girls as possible and usually where they are, I am too.

“Why don’t you pick out your nail polish color, girls?” I say, pointing towards the box in front of them as I step closer to the front door.

The front door opens to reveal Charles, glasses on his face and a matching sweatsuit on his body. Once he looks up from his suitcase and closes the door, spotting me directly in front of him, his face breaks out into a smile.

“I didn’t know that you would be coming back so soon,” I admit to him, a smile of my own on my face.

“I couldn’t be away for a second longer.” He steps closer, leaving the suitcase behind and pulling me into an embrace. My arms raise up to press against his back as his hands slide down to my lower back, pushing against the plush fabric to press me as close to him as possible.

I step out of the hug, watching as he looks my figure up and down, swallowing at the sight of the red robe.

“What?” I ask, confused and nervous by his reaction.

I can’t tell if it’s a turned on swallow or a realization of a mistake swallow.

“Nothing. I just didn’t realize that these robes were going to be so short,” he confesses, eyes stuck on my legs.

I smile slyly at the comment, turning around and walking back towards the living room. “Come say hi to the girls.”

“Daddy, I’m painting my nails pink,” Ada shoves the nail polish bottle in his face after jumping all over him.

“I’m doing blue,” Lucy shoves her bottle in his face now.

“What? No Ferrari red?” He teases, grabbing their little hands and placing kisses on the back of them.

“Sorry, daddy.” Ada gives him an apologetic look while Lucy just shrugs.

He laughs at that, taking the bottles from their hands and shaking them.

“Can you put your hands on the table for me? I’ll paint your nails,” he says.

I sit back on the couch, watching the scene silently. Charles paints Ada’s nails with the pink polish, then Lucy’s with the blue. He goes back to do another coat, the three chatting quietly while half-heartedly watching Frozen.

I can’t believe I ever doubted that this man would be a good father. It makes me embarrassed that I ever thought that way. Seeing him now, his gentleness with the girls, and the ability to do things that they like with them, matching their excitement, shows me that he was a man that was made to be a father.

No, he was made to be a dad. And a damn good one at that.

“Oh no, mommy,” Lucy looks over at me with wide eyes, then expectantly looking back at the screen.

Frozen has ended.

“Second movie? Please?” Ada begs.

I’m a sucker for my girls when they pout, which they already know, but with Charles joining in it’s hard to deny them much of anything.

“Yes, we can watch Frozen 2,” I agree, grabbing the remote to turn it on. Secretly, I’m excited to watch it as well, and I already know that with the busy day they’ve had at daycare they’re going to fall asleep soon anyways.

“It gives me time to do mommy’s nails,” Charles smiles at me, which I return. I slide onto the floor, selecting a red nail polish bottle out of the box and passing it to Charles.

“Ferrari red, for you.”

By the time he’s done painting my nails, the girls are asleep on the couch, slumped against one another.

“Sorry that you didn’t win the championship,” I apologize quietly as Olaf breaks into a song.

“That’s okay. I have everything that I need already.”

I give him a questioning look.

“All that I need are my girls.”

I can’t hold myself responsible for my actions after that. That is one of the sweetest- if not, the sweetest- things that I’ve ever heard in my life.

I launch myself around the table at him, straddling his hips with my legs as my hands grip his cheeks, pulling his lips to mine. His hands immediately attach to my lower back.

It’s a kiss filled with passion and anticipation, both of us waiting for the other to make a move since he showed up here a couple of hours ago. Now with the girls asleep, we show each other just how much we were missing one another, and express words that were left unspoken from last weekend.

At the sound of shuffling on the couch, I pull back, whipping my head around to make sure that the girls didn’t wake up. They didn’t, just adjusting their position.

I turn back to Charles, resting my forehead against his. His hands run up and down my back.

“You’re so sweet,” I whisper to him.

“Anything for you, mon amour.”

~

Charles and I sit on the bench in the park, watching as the girls use their buckets and shovels to build snow sculptures.

“Lucy, don’t throw snow at her, please,” Charles calls out to the toddler.

“Okay, daddy,” she calls back. When she thinks that neither of us are looking, she throws a little bit of snow at Ada again.

I can’t help but chuckle and Charles shakes his head, a small smile slipping onto his face.

“She is so your daughter,” I comment.

“My daughter? Lando’s told me quite a few stories about you as a child,” he nudges my shoulder.

“Hey,” I giggle, “So are you and Lando okay now?”

“Yeah, I would say our relationship is almost back to normal.” I see him swallow out of the corner of my eye, looking at me nervously. “Actually, I know one thing that would probably get us back to normal.”

“What’s that?”

“So don’t kill me,” he starts, “But how would you feel going to visit your family for Christmas this year? We can rent a house, we can just go for a couple of hours, whatever you’re comfortable with. But Lando was telling me just how much your family regrets treating you the way that they have and how they really want to see the girls-””Stop,” I interrupt him. “You’ll be there?”

“Of course, I won’t leave your side,” he nods in agreement.

“You’d ditch Christmas with your mom and your brothers to be with my dysfunctional family?” I raise my eyebrows at him.

“Yes,” he responds instantly, “I’d do that for you, the girls, and Lando.”

“Fine. But if I want to leave, we have to leave as soon as we can,” I warn.

“I’ll go by your rules, mon amour.” He raises my hand connected to his up to his lips, placing a kiss on the back of it.

“Mommy, daddy, come play,” Lucy calls out.

Charles lets go of my hand, reaching down to pack the snow into a tight ball, throwing it lightly at Lucy. She squeals when it explodes on her.

“Snowball fight,” he announces, getting up to run over to the girls. I follow his lead, beaming at the squeals and laughter coming from my daughters as Charles and I play with them.

This is the moment that I’ve been dreaming about from the second that I found out that I was pregnant. Family time with just the four of us, playing together, laughing together, and just enjoying each other’s company. I’ve dreamed of just being able to spend time with all of us together, no tension or question marks getting in the way of our family bond.

And now I’m getting it.

~

Charles squeezes my hand as we stand on the front step of my parents’ house. My gaze remains focused on the white, wooden door, remembering all of the times I ran through it.

To the car of my boyfriend at the time. To the street to go on my daily jog. To the waiting arms of Lando, just returning from a race.

  To never return.

“Anytime you want to leave,” he reassures me quietly.

I nod, taking a deep breath and knocking. There’s no going back now.

Flo opens the door, pausing with wide eyes when she sees me.

“Am I not invited?” I ask with a slightly joking tone.

“No, of course you are,” she stutters, taking a step to the side. “We just weren’t expecting you to knock. Please, come in.”

I take a step inside, my heart skipping a beat at her words. We just weren’t expecting you to knock.

“You remember Charles,” I awkwardly gesture towards the man standing next to me.

“Nice to see you again, Charles,” she pulls him into a hug, obviously distracted by the two toddlers standing behind his legs.

“And you remember our daughters, Ada and Lucy,” I introduce the two. I hold my hand out and Lucy steps out from behind her father’s legs, gripping my hand in her own. Shy little Ada remains behind Charles.

“Hi girls, I’m Aunty Flo. I haven’t seen you two in forever,” she coos. Lucy gives her a toothy smile while Ada sucks on her thumb.

It’s true. I haven’t been out to the house, and no one in the family besides Lando, has been out to visit me since the girls were three months old. That was over a year ago. Kids grow fast, but when they’re babies they seem to grow even faster. They went from newborns that you could cradle in your arms to toddlers that can run.

“Come on, everyone else is in the dining room.”

We follow her to the dining room.

“Now remember to just behave yourselves and be kind. It took a lot to convince her to come here, so don’t do anything to scare her off,” the familiar voice of my brother says before we enter the room.

At our entrance, everyone turns to look at us.

“Uh, hi,” I give an uncomfortable wave. Lucky for me, the girls break the tense atmosphere.

“Uncle Lando,” Lucy cheers, running towards one of her favorite people. At her sister’s words, Ada darts from behind Charles’ legs, joining Lucy in jumping on Lando.

“Present?” Ada asks with wide eyes. Lando’s trained them that everytime they see each other, they get a toy or a treat from him.

“Ada, don’t ask Uncle Lando for presents,” I scold.

“It’s okay, I got you girls these,” Lando grins, reaching past them to grab new stacking cups off of the table, handing a stack to each girl.

I roll my eyes. Typical Uncle Lando.

“They’re so big,” a familiar voice whispers. I turn to see my mom standing beside the dining room table, a shocked expression on her face as she watches the girls play.

“Hi darling,” another voice whispers in front of me. My dad pulls me into his arms, and it’s surprisingly not uncomfortable.

I thought since the last two or three years have been so full of tension and avoidance of one another, this would be a much more anxious and strained meeting. But I can’t help but melt into my dad’s arms. Maybe it’s from seeing the father-daughter relationship that Charles has with Ada and Lucy that makes me want to better my relationship with my own father.

I can’t forget everything that he’s said to me. But I can forgive and hope for improvement.

“Hi, Charles.” My dad pulls Charles into a hug next. The driver seems taken aback, but accepts the embrace.

My mom pulls me into a wordless hug. It’s not as comfortable as the one with my dad, I can still hear her shouting ‘whore’ at me in the back of my mind, but I still wrap my arms around her. I greet my siblings before taking a seat next to Lando, Charles sitting in the chair next to me.

“Hi Ada, hi Lucy,” my mom greets my daughters, reaching out to brush her finger along Lucy’s arm. Lucy doesn't react. “I’m your nana.”

Charles and I exchange glances at her word choice. We didn’t discuss how we want Ada and Lucy to refer to my family going into this, but we both know that we aren’t comfortable with my parents being referred to as nana and grandpa after the way they treated me and the girls when they were infants.

“Let’s just stick to Cisca for now, mom,” I state firmly.

She opens her mouth, about to respond, before Oliver nudges her. He nods towards Ada and Lucy, as if to remind her that this is about improving the relationship with her and her granddaughters and her and me. And that starts with respecting my boundaries.

“Okay.”

~

“Thank you for having us over,” I tell my mom as we stand in the front entrance.

“Oh, anytime. It was great to see you two and the girls again,” she smiles between me and Charles. “I’ll go check on the girls, Cisca and Oliver will help bring them down.”

Charles and I wait for our daughters to be brought down from their naps, tired out from playing with their family members and new presents. I zip up my winter coat in the meantime and Charles finishes pulling on his shoes.

“Hey look, mistletoe,” he points up at the plant.

I giggle, leaning in to give him a peck on his lips.

“Come on, you have to give me more than that.”

A loud laugh escapes me, and I lean forward to give him a much more passionate, longer kiss.

“You know what would be the only thing that would make this Christmas better?” He murmurs against my lips.

“What?”

“If you became my girlfriend.”

“I’d love to be your girlfriend, Charles.”

Story completed.

Tags that are working

@untitled92260 @disneydaydreameralways @zxlla @thrsdyschld @purpledianezzzzzz @lovingroscoee @bilbobag9ins @way-to-eat-all-the-chips-kip @withyoutilltheendofthismess @chiogarza @simpforpierre @scottmctominbae @octaviareina @lindsaytriestowrite @starjane312 @savannah-elliott @sanne-p @o0itsjustme0o @eleanorbvb @permanentllyharry

@dr3lover @piceous21 @citylights31 @xoxoloverb @lebritneeey @sweetlittleorchid @soomanybands @raaaaabzzz @heyitskay-21  @5secondsof-beforeyouexit @xox-moon-xox @tall-tanned-tattoo @fredsandlokiswhore @fictional-l0v3r @valkryejh @welcometomyworldwithoutrules @starjane312

@hannahholland1811 @b-orderline @puthaydestroyer @theplobnrgone @dudde-44 @lmao-liz @herpes-free-since-05 @leclerc16s @fictional-l0v3r @hes-club @kyomihann @compulsiveshit @markluv4u @kodzuskook @hazzasswiftie @organasith @chxndlerrr @ella33 @pleasantducktimetravel @ourlazydetectivekitten @weirdlychaotic @s00nfloweronfyre @ophcelia @loveofmylife12 @iamasimpingh0e @amulhermaisfelizdomundo @allisonxf1 @f-hollands @junglxqueen @motylekrozi @shqwqrma @justmemewriting

@hello-sunshine-x @hiphopdancer101universe @caosfanblr @rosesintj @arieltwvdtohamflash  @dessxoxsworld @alwaysclassyeagle @irule-ha-losers @buendiabebeta @butterflyjames @copper-boom @xcharlottemikaelsonx @mrswang17 @charlesswife @kplatzman @teti-menchon0604 @oneoftwoghosts @darkmalice00 @alwaysclassyeagle @rafaaoli @a-distantdreamer @teti-menchon0604 @sadsierra2 @screemqueen @spngirl05 @lighttsoutlewis @alwaysclassyeagle @bwormie 

Tags that aren’t working

 @watermelon1299 @sweet3poison @88red88 @infamousmany @cippyo @sophiachiodelli @starlightoctavia @ln15 @adorerdj @fromthedeskofjoii @ar333f1 @callmequeenbeee @starbucksthings @ninnypoosworld @starxqt @poofy-baby-unicorns @escapingrealityagain @jazztime @sueesstuff @coucou123 @nglurmomishotlmao @dontforgetplusc @teamspideyman @starcatcher48 @lissimountf1 @motheraiya @lovee-rosiieee @brusg21 @lcuppo @squidwardsluverxx @ystrolllll @blueskiesandtom @fulla02 @teardropsandraindrops @ruleroftheuniverse @livster @kapsylia @queenofmanydreams

[floral-hex]

Okay never mind fuck this stuff, I’m not taking it anymore. I’ve only slept about 4 hours in the past couple of days. This stuff is just putting me on edge and MAYBE the negative side effects will fade away in a month, but I’m not seeing a single positive with them, so… I don’t need this. Slurp my gurt

This is, I think, my 3rd night on buspirone and I have to say I hate it so far. I’ll be fine before taking it, then after about an hour I get hit with a huge wave of anxiety. Granted, I’m supposed to start out taking it before bed but toooo beee fair I think that’s because it makes a lot of people drowsy (and I am actually in bed, if that counts for anything). I’m so on edge and anxious. If the side effects don’t get better in a couple of days, I’ll call the doctor, I guess. Disappointing.

[a-rabid-snake]

Hi, I've been following you for a bit and saw your text posts from a few days ago. Do you get a lot of hate for your posts/art? Regardless, it sounds like you were having a rough time, so I'd like to say how amazing and cute your art is). Your artisaint pieces in particular give me life))

Thank you very much. I honestly don't know what else to say, especially when someone tries to support me, I just get a little lost.

You just can't imagine how these offended people hate me. I understand why. That's because they though find a scapegoat in other people

I know that the truth is on my side and I don't pay attention to them.

I partially deserve all the negativity that people say or do to me.

It's more funny that they do it as a whole group and mock one person they consider weaker than themselves. But they just don't know that they have stumbled upon a man who will be stronger than those whom they have already doused with mud

It doesn't matter to me that they accuse me of something, spoil my art, wish me to die, it doesn't matter to me. The most insulting thing is that one of them insulted my late mother, I will not tolerate other people's relatives being used in a dispute, they have fallen too low to say it

I'm sorry that I said all this, I'm very bad at holding back my opinion and statement, but I don't want to endure all this forever either

Moreover, lust himself accused me of some kind of nonsense, why can't I tell everything that he did to me

[panharmonium]

Hi! I love your Naruto thoughts and meta posts with all my heart and I want to ask your thoughts on something that has been on my mind literally since I was 13: what do you think about the relationship between Sasuke and Sakura? I went from being a hardcore shipper when I was a teenager, to being against any romantic relationship in Naruto after finishing the anime when I was in my early twenties. Nowadays I'm very into platonic love and depictions of friendship and I think the anime's obsession with forcing the "romantic interest" curse upon the main female character robbed us of... so much. There are a few wonderful moments in the anime where Sasuke and Sakura acknowledge each other, but because she's always "the girl with the crush", her actions are so often interpret as irrational or selfish by the fandom.

Hi @riemmetric!  It's great to talk to you again! Sorry it's taken me so long to answer this; RL has been making demands of me lately and it took me way longer to finish writing this up than I wanted it to (then again, I knew from the minute I read your original ask that my reply was going to get long, so I suppose I should have predicted a delay XD)

It's funny, my sister once asked me to choose between Sasuke or Sakura for an “unpopular opinion” meme, and I ended up doing Sasuke solely because I think the negative fandom opinions about Sakura are so unhinged and divorced from the actual text that I wouldn’t even know where to start.  People are entitled to dislike whatever characters they want, obviously, but there are some fandom takes that are, for me, so obviously rooted in bad faith viewings/readings that there’s no urge in me to discuss them.  That said, since you asked, I’m happy to go into my own thoughts on this a bit, with the disclaimer for other potential readers that I only write about fandom things for my own personal enjoyment, not as a contribution to The Discourse. If you don’t like Sakura, great!  I have no interest in changing your mind. Please consider this a sincere invitation to scroll on by and go enjoy whatever parts of the fandom appeal to you.

In general terms: I love Sasuke and Sakura’s relationship as much as I love all of the relationships in Team 7.  If we’re talking about them specifically as a romantic couple, then I probably fall somewhere in the middle of the spectrum, because I do like them together in a post-canon (to be clear: non-Boruto) setting, after time has passed and they’ve continued to develop individually and reconnect with each other, but I also wouldn’t exactly call myself an intense “shipper,” in the sense that I have no interest in pulling things out from the text and incorrectly citing them as evidence that Sasuke has hidden romantic feelings for her during the canon period. He cares about her in the canon period, just like he cares about Naruto and Kakashi.  That’s not up for interpretation; it’s the text.  But Sasuke during the canon time period does not demonstrate specifically romantic interest in anyone.  

[A note before people who might ship Sasuke with Someone Else emerge to rail against this statement - please just scroll past and continue enjoying fandom in whatever way is most fun for you. It is cool to ship whatever fanon thing you want; I think that’s great!  But earnestly citing any loving or emotional thing Sasuke does re: various characters in this story (yes, Sakura included) as indicative of specifically romantic love isn’t supported by the text. I know there are always going to be enormous subsets of any fandom who insist that it is, and I'm certainly not going to barge into anyone else's space to complain about that (because other people having fun together is harmless and none of my business), but I'm not obligated to indulge it on my own blog, either.]

Anyway, that said - the reason why I love Sakura and Sasuke’s relationship (from here on out I’ll use “relationship” in a general, non-romantic sense) is precisely because Sakura isn’t just “the girl with the crush.” Sakura has an arc when it comes to Sasuke, and its trajectory moves in the exact opposite direction of “irrational” or “selfish.”  She specifically goes from “the girl with the crush” to “the girl who steels herself and tries to put her personal feelings for Sasuke aside for the greater good” to “the girl who knows she can’t put her feelings aside, but who also knows full well that Sasuke doesn’t reciprocate them, and who still wants to save him regardless, because he matters to her as a person and a friend.”

[I'm putting the rest of this under a cut to save everyone's dash, and also to emphasize once again that this is a personal post on my personal blog which I wrote in response to a question from a personal acquaintance, the full content of which no one is obligated to read. I am not sending this post to random strangers and forcing them to look at it. I'm not even putting it in the character tags. I'm typing it up on my own blog and putting it under a cut. If you already know that you don't like Sakura, but you still click the link/read the post and then feel an urge to comment and complain, I am going to copy-paste this disclaimer and remind you that I specifically recommended that you scroll past and go have fun with fandom in your own way. Thanks in advance for responsibly curating your own fandom experience!]

So, from the top:

1. the girl with the crush

Sakura is, obviously, completely obsessed with Sasuke at the beginning of Part 1.  She’s also deeply clueless about him and his history (bizarre though it is, the story seems to indicate that she initially doesn’t know what happened with his family, the same way young!Obito is initially clueless about Kakashi’s father).  But what I like about Sakura and Sasuke’s Part 1 relationship is how this changes over time.

The critical scene that kicks this off happens right at the beginning of the manga, when she and Sasuke are talking by that bench - she complains about Naruto and blames his behavior on him being all alone/having no family to scold him; and even says she’s jealous that he doesn’t have parents to nag him all the time.  This obviously triggers an outburst from Sasuke, who tells her she has no idea what loneliness means and that she “makes him sick”/she’s “annoying” (importantly, the exact same thing Sakura said to Naruto in anger earlier that day), which in turn prompts Sakura to reassess herself and wonder whether she’s been making Naruto feel this terrible all the time, too:

From that point on, it’s a process of her putting little pieces together.  She still has a MAJOR crush, and she still acts like a twelve year-old, but as we approach the end of Part I, Sakura actually has a more accurate grasp on Sasuke’s current state of mind than Naruto does.  Naruto is initially excited to fight Sasuke on top of the hospital, because he feels like Sasuke’s finally acknowledging him, whereas Sakura is the one who immediately recognizes that something is wrong about this situation.  She is also the one who, after this fight, is concerned that Sasuke is really unwell and might do something drastic like run off in pursuit of the power Orochimaru promised him, but when she communicates this to Naruto, he assures her that this would NEVER happen:

(Sakura isn't convinced, though, because she goes to monitor the exit out of the village anyway.)

I’m not criticizing Naruto for his response here.  I ADORE hearing him say that Sasuke is too strong to need Orochimaru, with such perfect confidence - I love seeing how much respect and admiration he has for Sasuke underneath all their fighting, because that’s the whole reason he’s always baiting Sasuke and yelling at him and claiming “you're not so great!” He looks up to Sasuke; he wants to be like Sasuke; he thinks Sasuke is awesome! (It’s that Obito @ Kakashi behavior, you know?) But the fact remains that he is clueless about what’s actually going on with Sasuke in Part 1, and he remains clueless(ly optimistic) for a long time.  

(Eg, when he catches up to Sasuke during the retrieval arc and Sasuke climbs out of that cursed seal coffin, Naruto waves at him and calls "Come on, let's go!" as if Sasuke has been successfully rescued and is now going to come running home.  Even in Part II, when Naruto hears that Sasuke killed Orochimaru, he beams and immediately says, “So he must be on his way back to the Leaf Village!”  And everyone else in the room is like, “....,” because they know better.  Naruto doesn’t yet fully understand [or doesn't want to accept] the extent to which Sasuke has willingly chosen this path, and it’s not until after Jiraiya’s death/the Pain attack/the Five Kage Summit that Naruto really starts to understand Sasuke more clearly, which is something he himself admits.)

Sakura, in Part 1, has access to more information about Sasuke - she’s there for his first dissociative monologue during the bells test, she’s there for the curse mark’s placement, she’s there for his first violent transformation in the Forest of Death - she is, in fact, the unwitting catalyst for it (“Sakura…who did this to you?”), and her compassion is the reason Sasuke is later able to overcome the curse mark’s influence - so she has a more accurate/complete picture of “how he’s doing,” for lack of a better phrase, whereas Naruto, who doesn’t know about the curse mark in the first place, is still in the dark.  This means that Sakura is able to accurately discern that Sasuke is struggling more than Naruto realizes, and specifically to predict that he’s going to run away.  

(This dynamic is then interestingly flipped in the back half of Part II, since at any point after the Five Kage Summit, Sakura doesn’t have access to extremely relevant [if currently questionable and unproven] details that would in any other circumstance inform her behavior).

Of course, just because she has more info in Part 1 doesn’t mean she has some kind of miraculous insight into Sasuke’s every thought and feeling.  There are parts of her attempt to convince Sasuke to stay in the village that are as clueless as any of Naruto’s assumptions, and they showcase the kind of magical thinking common to childhood - like when she says that if he stayed with her, she could give him happiness, she’d do anything for him, even help him get his revenge - this idea that she herself can do something to make him feel better, that she can love him powerfully enough to defeat his pain - obviously none of that is rooted in realism.

Is this part of her approach irrational and immature and inadvertently self-centered?  Of course it is!  But it’s no more irrational and immature and inadvertently self-centered than Naruto’s stated plan to drag Sasuke back to the village even if he has to “break every bone in [his] body!” 

Hating on Sakura for her Part 1 attempt to convince Sasuke to stay in the village while simultaneously lauding Naruto for his feels like a bad faith misread of what is, to me, pretty clear narrative intention.  The story doesn’t at any point intend for us to see her begging him to stay as a selfish or conniving attempt to get something she wants.  She’s begging him to stay for the same underlying reason that Naruto is: she cares about him.  She thinks he’s making a mistake that will only cause him more pain in the end (she’s right) and she wants to make it so he feels less pain right now (she can’t.  But she doesn’t understand that/isn’t able to admit that, and she’s willing to try ANYTHING that might help).  

It’s critical that this farewell scene is set in front of that same bench from their first important confrontation - she references that day and how angry he got at her, and this time she tells him that she understands his reaction.  She’s learned things and she recognizes how insensitive she was being back then (“I know what happened to your clan, Sasuke”), even though she still can’t fully grasp all the complexities of the situation. She tells him that him blowing up at her back then helped her understand what loneliness actually meant (as opposed to her previous shallow understanding of it), and she challenges him about his choice right now: "So that's it, you're choosing the lonely path?" And when she tells him that she'll be very lonely if he leaves, we're immediately shown a panel of Sasuke thinking of both his friends, with the very clear implication that if he goes through with this, he will be lonely without them, too - that he's still struggling with the idea of leaving them, no matter how hard he tries to pretend:

Sakura at this point knows that Sasuke isn’t interested in her the way she is in him, but she still wants to give him happiness, however fantastical and immature her ideas sound to us (and, I’m sure, to him).  “I’ll do anything, even help you get your revenge/we'll have fun every day, and...and you'll be happy! I'll make sure of it!” - of course, it’s completely childish.  It’s irrational.  It’s ridiculous to think that any of this would ever be effective, but no more ridiculous than Naruto’s belief that he can simply break every bone in Sasuke’s body and keep him in the Leaf by force.

Both Naruto and Sakura are children who have a deeply oversimplified understanding of Sasuke’s situation.  They both still think they can fix him themselves.  They both think they can save him themselves.  They both think they can convince (or force) him to do what they want, what they think is in his best interests.  Both of them don’t yet understand that he has to want to come back, if it’s ever going to mean anything.  Their attempts to keep him in the village are immature and unrealistic, yes.  What they aren’t, however, is selfish, because neither Sakura nor Naruto are doing any of this with the intention of advancing their own interests.  They’re only thinking about Sasuke - how to keep Sasuke safe, how to make Sasuke happy - even when neither of them are taking an approach that will actually work.

Naruto and Sakura are children.  They’re afraid of losing somebody they care about.  Their attempts to prevent that from happening are desperate and messy and ultimately ineffective, but they are also genuinely felt and rooted in a true desire to rescue Sasuke from his pain, which - and this is the single most important thing that should impact our viewing of Part 1 - is something that Sasuke RECOGNIZES.  He doesn’t spend that agonizingly long moment bowed over Naruto’s defeated body so we can pretend he doesn’t understand that Naruto was just trying to help him.  He doesn’t take the time to murmur, “Sakura…thank you,” before laying her out carefully on a bench, just so we can discount it and pretend that he doesn’t recognize and appreciate her genuine intention to make things better for him, however clumsy that attempt might have been.

2. the greater good

If Stage 1 Sakura is "the girl with the crush," then Stage 2 Sakura is a progression to “the girl who decides to put her feelings for Sasuke aside in order to protect innocent people, including (but certainly not limited to) Naruto.”  She’s driven to this decision by interactions with Shikamaru, who all too recently had to grow up fast himself (“We're not kids anymore...we can't allow a war to break out between the Hidden Leaf and the Hidden Cloud because of Sasuke") and Sai, who risks his new friendship with Sakura and Team 7 in order to speak some hard truths and deliver one of my favorite lines in the whole story: “I don’t know what promise Naruto made to you, but it’s really no different than what was done to me.  It’s like a curse mark.”

(INCREDIBLE.  How can anybody be complaining about a season where Sai gets to say something that goes THIS HARD and Sakura LISTENS and takes DRAMATIC ACTION that actually propels the story forward in a meaningful way - )

[Okay, yeah, brief personal opinion interlude - it is just bonkers wild to me that there are people who complain about Sakura in the Five Kage Summit arc. That entire season is the greatest character arc she ever has.  Literally she has never been more interesting and dynamic than in Season 10; it’s the first time she ever gets to be as deep and fascinating as the boys; what is everybody so worked up about?  Oh, “she lied to Naruto that one time” - Sasuke joined infant-kidnapping baby-murdering human experimentation machine Orochimaru when he was twelve years old in order to (dare I say it????) selfishly pursue his personal goals and yet, somehow, we are still able to root for him.  He abandoned his friends/allies to imprisonment and death (Suigetsu and Jūgo) or outright stabbed them in the chest himself (Karin) in order to (SELFISHLY) get what he wanted, and yet, somehow, we are still able to love him, understand him, and be on his side.  Naruto is canonically not upset with Sakura about her lie after receiving context for the situation and I think we can probably take our cues from him without feeling the need to bring her up on war crimes; please calm down]

[Sorry, I just really love most of Season 10 and think it’s one of the best examples of how good this story can be when every single character gets to do something that matters (as opposed to things being all Naruto, all the time) so I get a little bit worked up over people complaining about some of the best writing Sakura ever gets.  I don’t understand what certain elements of fandom want from her. People complain about her being “useless” and not doing anything that contributes to the story, but then they complain just as much when she does finally get to act decisively and have just as complex/dynamic an inner world as the boys.  She’s “weak” for being unreasonably in love with Sasuke, but when she tries to be “strong” and put her love for him aside and eliminate him in order to protect Naruto and the rest of the world, she’s evil, because she should have been more understanding of his situation (despite the fact that she doesn’t KNOW anything about his situation).  But then when she can’t go through with killing him after all because she cares about him too much despite the things he’s done, she’s not "compassionate" or "kind" or "a good friend," she’s “weak” again. Nothing Sakura does in S10 is more wrongheaded or rash than any of the batshit, buckwild things Naruto and Sasuke have done in the past (and will continue to do in the future), but when Naruto and Sasuke have big feelings or take bold action, it makes them interesting characters, whereas Sakura can’t breathe in anyone’s direction without being minutely scrutinized for moral impurities.]  

Anyway. Back to a more measured response.  

Every single piece of development Sakura has with regard to Sasuke in this season satisfies me so much.  Her initial shock and disbelief at hearing that Sasuke had joined the Akatsuki?  Good, appropriate.  The fact that she starts to acknowledge the reality of what Sasuke’s done sooner than Naruto does?  Also extremely appropriate, very in-character for both of them.  Her taking Sai’s words to heart and deciding that the promise she asked Naruto to make when they were children is causing him to suffer and she has to relieve him of that burden?  Juicy!  AND thematically significant (promises!!!!  the burden that a promise places on a person, especially when it can't be kept - we've seen that before in this story and we'll see it again).  Her anguished pivot from wanting to protect Sasuke to realizing that she has a responsibility to protect the countless innocents who will die because of the war he’s trying to start?  HELLO THIS IS INCREDIBLE CHARACTER DEVELOPMENT.  Her knocking out the classmates who agreed to help her so they don’t have to share in her burden (and so the only person Naruto will hate when it’s over is her)?  BRUH.  Her being so committed and focused on her goal of saving innocents and protecting Naruto (not just from being harmed by Sasuke/the Akatsuki, but by the possibility that Naruto will someday have to hurt Sasuke himself) that she tries to take everything on by herself and walks into a confrontation that she absolutely cannot win??  INCREDIBLE.  (Literally the first time I watched this, I said, “Finally!!!  It’s Sakura’s turn to go off the rails!”  I laughed with my sister about how Kakashi isn’t even mad, because Naruto and Sasuke have been pulling stunts like this for years and Sakura was way overdue for her own meltdown.)  And then, after Kakashi intervenes in the fight - Sakura barreling back into the battle when she realizes he’s going to take on the burden of killing Sasuke himself in order to spare her and Naruto the horror - “I can’t let Kakashi-sensei bear this burden!”  I love her for that.  

And then, of course, in the end - her not being able to do hurt Sasuke after all.  Despite committing herself to the act, despite forcing herself to put her feelings for him aside, despite resolving to stop him from starting a war and killing innocent people, she can’t harm him.  She cares about him too much.  This, too, is thematically significant - think about Itachi’s “you don’t have enough hatred” - she doesn’t have enough hatred to kill someone she cares about, even if it seems like he deserves it, even if would be the right thing to do to protect others.  She can’t do it, and Sasuke almost kills her for her compassion.  

I love the dynamic this sets up between her and Sasuke, for a few reasons:

1) Personally, I think Sasuke respects Sakura much more for trying to kill him than he would have if she’d just tried to talk him out of his behavior or beg him to come home (a la their original confrontation in Part 1).  This is the first significant interaction he’s had with Sakura in years, and the fact that she does something SO contrary to his memory of her is an important demonstration of the fact that she’s not the same girl she used to be.  Sasuke spends a lot of time after his defection declaring to his old team “I’ve changed; I’m not that person anymore,” but this is one of the moments where he’s forced to acknowledge that his teammates have changed, too.  Time didn’t just stop for them when he left.  While he was turning into someone new, so were they.  They grew up without him, and his old memories of them can’t encompass the whole picture of who they are now.  

(This is a little tangential, but in general, I love the spectrum of reactions that Naruto, Sakura, and Kakashi have in this sequence, and the way that all of them are ultimately messages Sasuke needs to hear.  Sasuke - who we know textually regrets what he did here, who apologizes to Sakura for it later - for “everything,” in fact - needs Naruto’s aggressively optimistic open-arms policy, yes, needs that potential, that unconditional possibility of return.  He also needs Sakura’s refusal to let him hurt her friends and start a war that will kill thousands of people, needs her surprisingly ruthless attempt to take him down; needs just as much her failure to do so, because it shows him that she still loves him too much to kill him even as she condemns him.  And he needs Kakashi’s grim line in the sand, needs someone who very possibly won't hesitate like Sakura (despite the horrifying personal cost), someone who will try to reach him but also won't let him escape and become the next generation’s Orochimaru, who won't let him cause untold suffering to untold numbers of people just because a teacher loved him too much to stop him when he had the chance. 

(And then even Kakashi chooses not to deliver a killing blow when he has the opportunity -)

(I know that in fandom people are more likely to be all, “oh, Naruto Good, everybody else Bad,” but I don’t think the narrative frames Sakura or Kakashi as “worse” than Naruto in any way.  The story goes out of its way to make it clear how desperately they don’t want to hurt Sasuke and how much they care about him.  And [this is just my interpretation, so obviously I won’t claim it as fact], I personally think that Sasuke - Sasuke, who, looking back, can see how lost he was then and how tortured he would have been if he’d gone through with many of his plans - would be grateful to Sakura and Kakashi for making an attempt to stop him when he couldn’t stop himself.)

2) On the other side of this, the fact that Sakura wasn’t able to deliver the killing blow means a lot. Sasuke was incapacitated under that bridge; he was completely at her mercy - but she stopped with the kunai an inch from his back.  She couldn’t kill him, even though she knew that he was completely willing to kill her (because he'd attempted to Chidori-assassinate her from behind just a few minutes ago).  That’s huge!  Sasuke is too out of his head right now to process this or understand it, but later, it's going to matter.  She stayed her hand.  She spared his life.  She loved him too much to hurt him, even when he’d given her every reason to take him down.  She hesitated, and he almost killed her for it, but her inability to strike him ultimately gave him yet another chance to come home, another chance to get better, another chance to have a life outside of his pain.  Despite everything, some part of her still hadn’t really given up on him, and that knowledge will matter later, when he’s finally able to acknowledge it.  

The point of all this is to say that I really have no complaints about Sakura and Sasuke’s dynamic in their S10 confrontation.  This season is the point where Sakura fully grows past her “girl with a crush” stage and into her “shinobi must make very harsh decisions” adulthood, but it never means that she doesn’t care about the person she’s trying to take down.  Her ultimate inability to deliver the killing blow remains a dangling lifeline for her relationship with Sasuke, an open door that Sasuke is able to walk through at the end of the story (literally, in fact, when Sakura opens that portal for him and saves him from Kaguya’s desert prison, and figuratively, too, when Sasuke apologizes to her).

3. she only wants to save you

The last stage in their relationship is what Sakura settles into during the war arc.  She started off Part 1 being just a girl with a crush, then tried to harden her heart and put her feelings for Sasuke aside in service of the greater good, but she was unable to actually follow through and kill him, and because of that, what she’s come to accept by the war arc is actually two things: that 1) Sasuke truly is willing to let her die if it furthers his goals, and 2) she wants to save him anyway.  

She has no intention of pursuing Sasuke romantically.  She knows full well that Sasuke isn’t interested in her.  She even knows that Sasuke isn’t really on their side (there’s a great scene where Sai questions Sakura about Sasuke’s return, and she reassures him that everything is fine, and Sai sadly thinks to himself “even I can tell your smile is fake”).  She’s well-aware that Sasuke didn’t try to help her when Madara stabbed her.  She’s well-aware that he left her to die in the lava pit.  She’s also well-aware that none of this is enough to make her stop loving him.  He doesn’t have to care about her - she still cares about him.  She still wants to help him.  She still wants to save him.

This is not hidden, hard-to-parse character development.  It’s explicitly articulated on the page:

Sakura’s not trying or wanting to make you hers!  She only wants to save you.

I’m not sure if people look at this last confrontation and unquestioningly take Sasuke at his word (as if we haven’t just read 71 volumes/watched 700 episodes showing us how how painfully distorted his thinking is), or if they stop reading/watching before the end of the scene, or if they don’t understand that Sasuke saying something doesn’t make that statement an accurate representation of reality.  The entire point of this scene is to show us how deeply mistaken Sasuke is about Sakura (and, by extension, the rest of Team 7).  He’s locked into a false pattern of thinking.  His single-minded focus on revenge and destruction has blinded him to the unconditional love his friends feel for him; he’s become so accustomed to using others and being used that he can’t understand or accept that someone would care about him without needing a reason, without needing him to love them back, without needing to receive something from him in exchange.

Sakura’s not trying or wanting to make you hers!  She only wants to save you.

Sasuke matters to Sakura as more than a love interest.  He always has.  She does love him romantically, yes, but she doesn’t only love him romantically, and her desire to help him is not and has never been contingent on him returning her feelings, romantically or otherwise.  Sasuke isn’t able to acknowledge that in this scene, but that doesn’t mean we’re supposed to just sit back and agree with his warped perspective.  Kakashi is the one who’s explicitly positioned as the voice of the narrative here.  We, as the audience, are supposed to recognize that Kakashi is the one telling us the truth.

[tangential thing 1: You don’t have to love Sakura's last plea to Sasuke here. It’s not my favorite, either - the best part, other than Kakashi’s speech at the end, is the moment after Kakashi collapses when Sakura’s expression changes from pained uncertainty to pure rage, when she grits her teeth together - when I first saw that, I almost leapt out of my seat like “Oh my god.  She’s finally going to let him have it.  It’s finally happening - ”  I wanted that so badly, and I still think it would have been a more effective writing choice for Sakura’s last words to lean more into her anger at the suffering Sasuke is causing all of them (himself included!) and less into yet another of Kishimoto’s “let me have Sakura articulate what a shame it is that she can’t do as much as Naruto despite the fact that I literally just went through a major reveal sequence in the war to show that she’s caught up to the boys; I can’t make up my mind about whether I want her to progress or not” - it’s extremely frustrating (and it's something he does at the very end of the S10 Team 7 reunion, too, which is the ONLY moment of S10 that falls flat for me).  But at the same time, even if there are ways this sequence could be more satisfying, it doesn’t change the fact that her plea to him is not remotely motivated by a desire to be with him romantically and not anything to condemn her for.]

[tangential thing 2: I do like how she remembers that moment when Sasuke says “Thank you.”  That panel precedes her saying “If there’s even a tiny corner of your heart that thinks about me…” (which I’m sure is one of the things that people like to criticize about this scene, aka “oh she’s sooooo self-centered” etc), but that particular line of dialogue is preceded by that particular flashback panel for a reason: Sakura knows that Sasuke DOES think about her.  He thinks about all of them.  Sakura remembers that “thank you,” and it reminds her that despite everything Sasuke has done and said since, despite all evidence to the contrary, she knows in her bones that his expression of gratitude back then was genuine.  He cared about her once.  He cared about all of them.  She’s trying to reach the part of him that still does, if it exists.]

[tangential thing 3: The fact that Kakashi says “she suffers from loving you,” and it triggers Sasuke to remember his own family - thinking about how much he suffered (and still suffers) from loving them - “Perhaps…those are the ties to a failed past” - the idea that it’s not worth it to have bonds if it means you suffer this much…that it’s too difficult, it’s too painful, and if Sakura and the rest of Team 7 were smarter they would just give it up (all Sasuke knows how to do now is sever potential bonds before they can hurt him; so why aren’t Sakura and the rest of his teammates doing that, why can’t they let it go, why are they making this so hard - ) << yeah, he clearly doesn't care about her/them at all.]

4. the shadow of my family

This has all been a really long way to answer the original question, but the short response to “What do you think about the relationship between Sasuke and Sakura?” is “I really care about it,” just like I really care about the relationship between Sasuke and Naruto, just like I really care about the relationship between Sasuke and Kakashi. And I don’t think the story ever asks me to choose between them.

I’m not sure whether it’s the impact of Boruto-era “canon” that gets in the way of other people approaching things this way (I don’t consider sequel material when I evaluate the original story), or if it’s Kishimoto’s frequent disinterest in/disrespect towards female characters, which yes, does sometimes make it harder, or if it's a shipping thing (bane of my existence), or some combination of factors, but for me, taking one member of Team 7 out of the equation hobbles the rest of the story.  I can’t read/watch Naruto while hating one of the protagonists and loving the other three.  It doesn’t work like that for me.  The story wasn’t written that way, and there’s nothing in the text that would cause me to receive it that way.

That doesn't mean there's anything wrong with disliking one of the main foursome (or any character, for that matter) - obviously we're all going to have different preferences, and everyone is free to enjoy or reject whatever parts of a story they want, or to like or dislike whatever characters they want. I know that some people have more fun disregarding canon and doing their own thing, which is fine.  My own personal zone of enjoyment comes from receiving the story as closely to how I think it was intended to be read as I can, and personally, when I look at this particular story, what I see is that all the members of Team 7 clearly demonstrate their love for Sasuke in ways that he himself later recognizes and acknowledges. All of them are driven by their desire to save him and their unwillingness to hurt him. All of them make repeated choices to chase after him when he runs away, to trust him when he hasn't exactly earned it, to give him another chance when he doesn't appear to deserve it. ALL of them, not just Naruto, do these things multiple times throughout the story, and Sasuke owes his life (and thus his eventual recovery) to ALL of them, many times over. Kakashi disobeys Hokage-elect Danzō and breaks the law to negotiate for Sasuke's life with a foreign head of state. Sakura and Kakashi both have opportunities to kill Sasuke in the Land of Iron, and they choose to spare him instead. Kakashi stops Sasuke from killing his only friends at two different points in the story, which would have been a mistake Sasuke couldn't have recovered from. Sasuke would have died in Kaguya's desert dimension if Sakura hadn't saved him (Sakura, who knew that Sasuke wasn't even truly on her side yet, who knew he'd abandoned her for dead multiple times already that day). Kaguya's bone bullet would have killed Sasuke too, if Kakashi, with his intention to die in Sasuke's place, hadn't leapt in front of it (Kakashi, who also knew that Sasuke wasn't fully on their side yet, who also knew that Sasuke had abandoned him for dead earlier that day). Sasuke and Naruto would have BOTH died in the Final Valley if Sakura and a severely injured Kakashi hadn't chased after them to heal their injuries.

Remove any one member of Team 7, and Sasuke never makes it home. Without the combined efforts of all three of his teammates, he doesn't survive.  That’s the way it should be, thematically, for a story whose first and most foundational premise was the importance of teamwork, and since Sakura was just as essential to that framework as everyone else, I’m just as invested in her relationship with Sasuke as I am in his relationship with everyone else.  You can’t remove one leg from a four-legged stool without damaging the integrity of the entire structure, and for me, discounting any single member of Team 7 irreparably damages the integrity of the entire story. 

TL;DR: I love all of the Team 7 relationships, including Sakura and Sasuke's, because despite what some segments of fandom seem to believe, the text of the story never gives me any reason not to.

[ask-poethetic]

Hello, you can call me Poe. I’m not all that familiar with social media just yet so do forgive me for any mistakes I may make. I only recently even got a phone!

Some of you may recognize me from my work at the Soup Kitchen (if you don’t know about it, it’s everyday from 17:00-20:00!!!) or from my shop on Connudatus St. (The Forest Reverie - I mostly sell flowers, but I’ve also started selling fresh produce!). Though I normally only set up shop on Saturday’s or Sunday’s -v-;;

I am normally pretty busy working or studying, so I may not be very active here. So I’m sorry if I miss any asks or am late sometimes, or seem to disappear for a while.

But! If anyone has any recommendations for things to check out (movies, books, games, places, and so on) please let me know! Until recently I haven’t really been able to go out or do much of my own thing, and it’s all rather overwhelming.

Oh, also, please feel free to send asks here. I don’t actually have a proper phone plan so I can’t send or receive texts either -v-;;;

<OOC Below> : Rules / Disclaimers / Trigger Warnings

THIS BLOG IS 18+ ONLY : if I learn that you are under the age of 18 you will be promptly blocked

Typical DOL (Degrees of Lewdity) Trigger Warnings : explicit noncon/dubcon, violence, brainwashing/drugging, transphobia (as in Poe is trans), weird purity politics of “virginity”

Further Trigger Warnings :

- Poe is 17 and has been sexually abused since he was even younger

- Nonconsensual Incest/PseudoIncest

- Extreme Medical Malpractice

- Extreme Power Imbalance

Poe’s story is a horror story rather than sexy fun times due to his asexuality and age. I write him going through canon-typical sexual violence and abuse, and write Poe reacting in realistic ways. DOL overall feels very unrealistic and goofy at times, with Poe I put effort to make it more realistic, which thus makes it more horrifying.

Continue at your own discretion

(This list is made as I have seen people have very negative reactions to what I have done in his storyline)

(Art by @dol-dee)

Basic Information

Poe is Tiny, Intersex, and Meek. He uses exclusively he/him pronouns and is transmasc.

He used to have Congenital Heart Disease (which is what kept him bedridden for his childhood) but has since received a heart transplant that has helped. He is however still immunocompromised and has difficulty doing physical activity.

His hair was brown until an encounter with the Ivory Wraith during the Blood Moon, in which he received an ear slime. The trauma from the event quickly led him to having a week in the asylum, in which during that time his hair quickly turned to its current ashy grey.

Poe continues to make weekly visits to the hospital for therapy and to check on his condition. He has full trust in Dr Harper and is not aware of Dr Harper’s abuses.

Poe obsessively ensures that his reputation is perfect, and any foul or bad rumors quickly disappear after appearing.

Doodles done by me @hemlocks-hidey-hole

TAG DIRECTORY

#me : Posts made by Poe

#ask-answered : … Answered asks

#vibes : Vibe/Aesthetic/Text posts that Poe would reblog

#convo : Interactions with other blogs

#not-blog : Posts that are set outside of the realm of the blog

#not-poe : Posts that are made by someone other than Poe

#Captured Poe Arc : A series involving ‘Evil Anon’, who had Poe kidnapped and then sexually assaulted him

<OOC Information>

Hello, making another of these cause I felt it needed updating! Also just redid Poe’s blog a wee bit. It may continue to have changes occur, which I’ll point out on @hemlocks-hidey-hole when they occur.

Once again, anything that occurs within <> is me talking in OOC, most commonly found in the tags of a post.

Also a fun character inspo/mood board thing, though these were all applied after the fact.

[askdacast]

I don’t really get the way The Chosen portrays Jesus. When one of his disciples gets something half right by offering to help Jesus carry stuff out of the goodness of his heart, Jesus responds with a half assed, “Thank you but…” When Jesus orders his disciples to work with wheat, Jesus acts like an earthly king by not even being there to work with them. Jesus also rudely interrupts one of his disciples when that disciple tries to tell him about an idea to raise funds.

Hey anon, forgive me for not answering your questions directly. But seeing as you’ve been going around sending this same message to several different blogs talking about The Chosen, I do feel the need to address something else.

(IMPORTANT EDIT: if you’re not the same anon who’s been sending messages to @sojourner-between-worlds then please ignore this post, I wrote it with this assumption in mind)

First of all, while I’m not really particular about spoilers, you have to keep in mind: I’m a busy person. Most of us are, with jobs and lives outside the internet. I have my postgraduate studies right now, and lately because it has been quite busy, I haven’t had the time to catch up with The Chosen’s new episodes exactly as they are uploaded. I’m still stuck on episode 3, mind you, with basic knowledge of episode 4, and I won’t be able to catch up very quickly. I know it probably wasn’t your intention to spoil me, but coming into my asks and telling me directly about events I haven’t watched yet is just a tad rude in that regard, especially if I really DID care a lot about not being spoiled.

Which brings me to my next point - I have absolutely no problems discussing The Chosen, even critiquing it. I’m not going to tell you that you shouldn’t criticize anything about this show. It’s not like I have 100% positive things to say about this show either - as mentioned before, I quite disliked the ending of S4E3. So I’m usually more than glad to share my opinions, positive or otherwise about this show. And I don’t mind either you sharing your opinions and asking for a discussion.

However, it appears to me, from your asking this same anon Q to many blogs, that it’s not really a discussion you want, so much as to complain about things you don’t like and asking “big name blogs” (if you can even call us that, we are just random people on the internet…) to affirm your negative opinions about this show. And I’m sorry to say, I don’t intend to do that.

If it really was a discussion you wanted, you are free to make your own Tumblr blog to make your own critical posts. You can complain as you please, and you can even invite further discussion and other’s opinions. After all, reblogs are much easier to keep track of than anon asks. But instead, I see you not just repeating the same asks, but when a blog gives you an opinion you disagree with, you send further anon asks basically picking apart their opinions and arguing with them ad nauseam about how The Chosen has so many detail inaccuracies in the show.

Forgive me for being blunt, but there are so many better uses of your time than arguing with strangers online. This is neither healthy nor productive.

You need to remember The Chosen is NOT Gospel. It is entertainment - it is an adaptation of the Gospel. Artistic liberties and inaccuracies are bound to happen. ANY story - not just gospel-related ones, but adaptations of history, famous books etc. - will inevitably have to take some liberties as you move from book to screen, fact to fiction. Do I agree with all of these changes? Do I think the “it’s fiction” argument is a good excuse to just change the source to whatever I want? Of course not. One needs to respect the heart of their source material and what it’s trying to say. We will rarely agree 100% with the way something is adapted. But we need to approach these things with grace and some common sense, because adaptation in writing is really really really hard. Word for word faithfulness to the text will not always translate to the screen well, and liberties NEED to be taken in order to tell a good story.

Just because the Bible never says exactly where Jesus did XYZ miracle doesn’t mean The Chosen should just show them going nowhere. Just because we don’t know the half the disciples actual backgrounds, does not mean it would be better storytelling for Thomas, Thaddeus, Nathaniel etc. to just show up like “ayo Jesus I appeared from the ether and want to be your disciple.” It would be confusing, especially for a newcomer who knows nothing about the Bible!

As I said, The Chosen is not Gospel. It is a piece of entertainment to encourage people TO read the original gospels and form THEIR OWN opinions about who Jesus really is and what He came to do for us. Dallas Jenkins and co. have made NO claims to presenting gospel truth or a new gospel. All they have ever set out to achieve was to bring to light what the gospel is, why it is so important, and HOW it could be important to you too. We can absolutely disagree with how they have gone about this goal. But let’s not claim that the very act of making a tv show is the same as trying to rewrite the gospel.

If you still don’t like The Chosen despite other people’s opinions, that’s 100% fine. You are entitled to your opinions, and you can hold firm to them. Ironically, going around asking people to agree with you, and angrily arguing with them when they disagree, only shows a lack of conviction in your opinions, that you NEED someone (people online whom you’ve never met no less) to tell you that you’re right. I’m not asking you to like this show, but to have some grace towards the people who do - the people who’ve really been touched by God through this show - and the people who’ve made this a possibility.

I am, once again, not saying you cannot criticize this show. But I am imploring you to do so in a way that doesn’t tear people down, but builds them up. If you don’t like how The Chosen portrays Jesus, then show people who the REAL Jesus is.

We are all doing our best to obey and serve the Lord with what’s in our hands, and only He alone can judge whether or not we’ve done the right thing. (Romans 14:3-4) I suggest you do the same.

[multi-fandom-agereg]

HIII!!! I loved the Venti headcanons, so I am back for more!

Anyways, is it possible I could get babyre Wanderer with Caregiver!Nahida? Nahida suggested agere to him as a way to cope with his trauma !

(also, padded wanderer? I tried to find on your posts if you stated you were uncomfortable with mentions of padding but found nothing, sorry! Just ignore this part if you are uncomfortable with it!)

[Id text: "Regressor Wanderer" end id.]

ⓘ 🩹🩹 Hello again!!^^ thank you for requesting! I'd like to note that I'm not at all uncomfortable with Padding or padded hcs! As someone who needs to wear them medically, I'm more than happy to post about them! (Hc speaking jsjs) I did mention it in the past but I occasionally delete old posts so most likely it was mentioned in a deleted post. But I did add it in my pinned post 🩹🩹

ⓘ In-game spoilers!! So if you haven't gotten far into the game yet and don't want spoilers I will put (ⓘ) next to the hc(s) so you can skip them. Though as someone who didn't go far into the game to meet Wanderer, some of the hcs may be extra to fit the idea of wanderer being an age regressor. Ex; background with Nahida. Will probably mess the background slightly so I can make it hc accurate as possible (though trying not to change whole lot)

Anyways, enjoy! I wanted to do regressor Wanderer for awhile but I forgot. This is my excuse to do it 🙌

Regressor Wanderer (With caregiver! Nahida) 🍼

tw/cw: injury mentioned (bleeding)

🦆 || Wanderer is an age regressor. specifically a baby regressor! He regresses around 0-1ish age range. However he doesn't label his age whenever it's mentioned. (But he still is a baby regressor) He just doesn't like to admit it

🦆 || Wanderer is the type of little to have his baths be fancy. He requires baby lotion, baby shampoo (the one that doesn't hurt his eyes), alot of bubbles, toys and rubber ducks. Also he specifically baths in cold water. It makes him feel more little (plus it works wonders for him when he's roleplaying with his toys in the bath)

🦆 || even at his little age, he doesn't need assistance in the bath. All he needs help with is the shampoo bit and that's all he needs. He can spend hours in the bath if he so wished to. Then after he gets out and requires to help dry with his hooded towel. → But he will be a very fussy baby if he is told to leave the bath before his story with his toys ends. (He HATES cliffhangers in his own story afterall)

🦆 || when he's little he has random zoomies. He mostly does it when his mind is on idle mode. (Technically spaced out in irl terms I think?) So when he's spaced out his body goes on autopilot and he'll run. And run. And run some more. Majority, if not all the time, he's extremely hard to catch

ⓘ 🦆 || after being abandoned by Raiden Ei : that's when Wanderer shut down the world around him. He refused to trust anyone or anything for a very long time. Until however, Nahida met him one night when she noticed Wanderer loitering around. Since then, she took him in

🦆 || it took several months up to a year for Nahida to gain Wanderer's trust. Slowly working with him until he was able to trust again

🦆 || speaking of trust, shortly after Nahida gained Wanderer's trust, Nahida noticed how wanderer suffers from his last trauma and how much he mourns to live his life as a normal human being. Sooo- ↓↓↓

🦆 || Nahida basically introduced him to regression! She explained it and told him it was a healthy coping mechanism for inner child healing. At first, wanderer didn't know how to feel about it. In all honesty he took it negatively. Thinking Nahida was just babying him and refused to talk more about it because he was, "too big for something like that". Until just a week or so later after a PTSD episode with unwanted memories of his past, Wanderer decided to give it a shot. Nahida coaxed him into being little and ever since, she became his caregiver

🦆 || still calls Nahida "Lord Kusanali Nahida" but lately he's been getting used to calling her "sis(sy)" when little. If he's little and does call her by the title he normally calls her, he'd call her "lorb Kawa" since he can't form words too well

🦆 || either nonverbal or verbal. It mostly depends on the day. Most of the time when he's verbal he will babble for hours if you let him. When he's nonverbal he is more, less energetic and prefers low energy activities

ⓘ 🦆 || wears bandaids for the aesthetic of it. Even if he's not really human and is capable of still getting injured and bleeding, he prefers bandaids in places he doesn't need them. So if he did get a scrape, he refused to use a bandaid. So when his knees aren't scraped up, he has bandaids all over them! Because why not?

🦆 || is a padded regressor. Since he regresses so young, he isn't potty trained enough to use the bathroom on his own. Though most of the time he wears padding for comfort reasons. They make him feel a lot more smaller and refuses not to wear them

🦆 || hear me out, possible permaregressor wanderer?? Since he technically doesn't have an age and doesn't age, what if he is a permaregressor because it's an age he feels more comfortable when little?? Orrr he regresses 80% of the time and is more little then big

🦆 || duck obsessed. He loves ducks so so much. He has many rubber duckies, plushies, themed sippy cups, and alot of duck themed everything. He even has a duck shirt, pants and onesie!

🦆 || regresses at a very young age, however isn't much of paci fan. Of course he will use it occasionally- but sippy cups? That's where it's at. Not limited to- small rubber spoons and baby foods. His favorite little snack is Yogurt melts

🦆 || in a modern timeline, he is definitely an iPad kid. His favorite show to watch is more early 2000's shows like sesame street, invader Zim and maybe SpongeBob too

🦆 || Back to Nahida, she is an amazing caretaker for Wanderer! She is so sweet, patient, loving and very gentle with him. Which honestly is what he needed after suffering for so long into his life. Another pos to Nahida, she's literally cuddle size. She is the perfect teddy bear for wanderer. And yep, he does pick her up and take her everywhere his legs can take him. People would probably mistaken him as her dad/older brother and the child. When it's the complete opposite

🦆 || has his very own crib. He doesn't go a night without sleeping in it + without having some sort of white noise on. He will refuse to sleep if the fan isn't on and his tv isn't on when he's asleep

[momo-no-tane]

Peach-Pit Artbook Scanning Project - Complete!

On August 1st, 2015 I made the first post of this artbook scanning project to provide high quality scans of Peach-Pit’s illustrations, because there was barely anything available online, or if there was the quality was absolute garbage. 7 artbooks and 648 illustrations later, the Peach-Pit Artbook Scanning Project is finally complete... really, really late.

I was supposed to finish this project in April 2018. I finally uploaded the last illustration yesterday - July 8th, 2023. Unfortunately I was never able to finish it back in 2018 like I wanted to. Life got really busy, I had gone back to school, my computer battery died, I started getting lazy... when I only had 5 illustrations left to post. I’m so sorry it took so long to finish. I really hated myself for not finishing it back then. I was constantly beating myself up over it. I really wanted to get it done this year though. Thank you so much for all the likes and reblogs over the course of this project. You can find each of the artbooks below.

Artbook 1 (Peach-Pit Artworks DearS)

Artbook 2 (Peach-Pit Artworks Sui Mitsu Kyo)

Artbook 3 (Peach-Pit Artworks Zombie-Loan)

Artbook 4 (Shugo Chara! Illustrations)

Artbook 5 (Peach-Pit Artworks Rozen Maiden)

Artbook 6 (Shugo Chara! Illustrations 2)

Artbook 7 (Rozen Maiden Illustrations: Rose Maiden)

Now for something really annoying... Tumblr’s recent bullshit is another reason why I finally forced myself to hurry up and post those final 5 illustrations.

Tumblr has decided to be completely and utterly stupid, getting rid of the legacy editor and replacing it with a garbage new post editor that makes posts look absolutely hideous on desktop. I initially made this post with the new post editor, but I was so disgusted at how ugly and awful it looked I deleted it. For some stupid reason, all posts automatically become text posts even if I specifically select the photo option. It makes no fucking sense. I realized that all the posts I had saved in my drafts still had the legacy editor, and thankfully I had a few photo posts still in there. So I was able to repost that news post.

The problem was that I only had less than 10 photo posts saved in drafts. If I had known Tumblr was going to be fucking stupid and get rid of the legacy editor, I would have saved dozens of posts to prepare. But I only had enough to make a few news posts and those last 5 illustrations. Now I have nothing but text posts left in drafts. I’m behind on some posts already (Nagi’s birthday post, new SC! Princess Cafe goods, new RM SOLWA goods), and I can’t make a post about them because Tumblr fucked everything up and I’m trying to figure out how to fix the posts on my theme so they don’t look like shit.

I don’t know what to do. I’ve been giving them grief almost daily on their change blog and support section. So many other people are also upset. I don’t want to get too backed up with news posts because there’s so much information that comes out monthly lately. Does anyone know how to fix this? Any code I could add to my theme to make my posts not look like shit because of the new post editor? It pisses me off that I have to waste time and energy focusing on this instead of the project I plan to do next - high quality manga caps. How can I even make nice looking manga cap posts when the new post editor will just destroy it? It’s so frustrating. I’m sorry this post turned so negative, I really needed to rant about this.