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concealeddarkness13 · 3 years ago

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WHG 18 Fire and Steel Part 3

Content warning for suggestive themes and death. Almost 6,500 words! I apologize for how long this is, but it’s tons of fun! And I’m finally writing again! Even though I’m totally playing video games after posting this. Tagging: @ratracechronicler, @maple-writes, @pen-of-roses, @knmartinshouldbewriting, and @drabbleitout (This also counts for the Fluff Friday/#FridayKiss tag, right? Also, thanks for Garnet, Ives, and Niner!)!

Sure enough, Aeflin wasn’t there, and I breathed a sigh of relief. But there also wasn’t a room for me, so I would have to sleep on the couch. That sucked, but it was still better than staying with Aeflin. Now that I was away from her, I thought of what she did to me, and I didn’t like it, I felt uncomfortable. Why?

I instead went to the food car and piled a plate high. I honestly hadn’t really had a chance to eat. Aeflin would just inject the nutrients into me, not wanting to waste precious resources. So, I hadn’t tasted real food for a while.

Garnet and Ives walked into the car after a while, and Garnet tried to sit in front of me, but Ives scooted Garnet over and sat in front of me instead, sitting straight and not getting any food.

I tossed some food to Niner, who had come in with Ives and immediately sat beside me. I kept watching Ives as Garnet got some food. “You want any food? It’s fucking good.” It really was the best food I had had in a while.

“Eating isn’t necessary for me.��

“Yeah?” Garnet mumbled through a mouthful of food. “Well, how’s it gonna go out in the arena if your battery dies?”

“I’m capable of solar charging as well as thermal charging.” Ives looked around.

“That sucks, because she’s right. It is really good.”

That was awful. He hadn’t been able to eat? “Can you at least try it?” I held my plate out to him.

He hesitated, but he did try the food. His face scrunched up, and I deflated a little. He didn’t like it, did he?

“You like it?” Garnet snickered.

“I’m neutral. I’ve never eaten anything before to compare it. But it does have a complex taste.”

Wait, he’d never had food before? I knew kind of what that was like. Most of the time, when I wasn’t required to be at a place where I would be eating, Aeflin would just inject nutrients straight into me, so as not to waste precious resources. “Well then you should try a lot of different things.” I piled small bites of all the different foods on a plate.

Garnet snickered as he started eating again. Was something wrong?

Ives took the plate. “Thank you,” he whispered, grabbing a fork. “So, what kind of arena were you in during your last Game?”

I sat back, eating the food again and tossing some to Niner, who gobbled it up. “It was a forest. Mostly with deadly animals and not much water. Tributes mostly fought over what little water we found.”

“Deadly animals…?” Garnet stopped mid-bite, paling a bit. “You think we’ll have deadly animals?”

“Does that scare you? Are you scared?” Ives eyed him.

“Uh, yeah. I’d be scared of a fuckin’ bear,” Garnet snapped, and Ives hushed him. “Are we gonna see bears?”

I shrugged. It depended. “I don’t know. There were monkeys and deer and squirrels. It could be anything depending on the arena.”

“Can you kill a bear?” Garnet asked Ives.

“If I say yes, will you stop talking about bears?” Ives grumbled, taking a bite. “So are you going to be the one picking out what we wear for the Chariots?”

“Bet you’d like that,” Garnet half choked out.

I frowned a bit. Why did he think Ives would like that? I was probably horrible at fashion. Still better than the stylists, though. “No, unfortunately. The stylists are generally horrible and normally have really garish outfits.”

“Great,” Garnet wheezed.

“A bit strange to do for children.” Ives paused. “Have you heard anything about our competition?”

I shook my head. I didn’t particularly like watching the reapings. “But there’s a place to watch the reapings, if you’re interested?” I tossed more food to Niner.

“No thanks.” Garnet frowned. “Think I’ve had enough of that.”

Ives nodded. “Well, what else can you tell us about you? Where do you come from? What about your skills?”

He wanted to know about me? I didn’t understand. “I don’t really know where I came from. I lost my memories of everything before my Games. I don’t even know the circumstances behind these.” I held up my prosthetic arm. “Though the Capitol tells me I was forced to have these by rebels. And I learned any other fighting skills before and during my Games, and I’ve kept my skills good through practice.” I tilted my head. “Why do you want to know?”

“Curious about you,” Ives said. “I thought since you’re the one teaching us, it wouldn’t hurt to get to know one another. I imagine we’ll be spending a good bit of time together, may make it easier to get to know one another. Plus, depending on your skills it may help improve one of ours or, if not, help us see from a different perspective.”

I nodded. “That makes sense. My skills are mostly fighting. I’ve forgotten a lot of the survival skills, unfortunately. But I’d be a good sparring partner, if you’d like one.” Wait. With Garnet’s snickering beforehand, my mind wandered to the other meaning, and I blushed, especially when I saw Garnet hiding a grin. Fuck.

“Thank you. That doesn’t sound like a bad idea,” Ives said. He looked over at Garnet. “What do you do?”

“What do you mean? I fight. I’ve got military training.” Ives hummed as if he was unconvinced.

I nodded, trying to get rid of my blush. “I could see that. You look tough. I think it would be good for both of you to go the intimidating route, unless you want others to underestimate you.”

“I wonder if being intimidating will make people leave us alone?” Garnet said. “I dunno about you big guy, but I’ve had about enough of people.”

“I’d like the least amount of blood on my hands if it’s any consolation.” Ives looked down at his plate. “Perhaps meaner now would result in having to be less mean later…” He took a bite of a dessert. “I like the sweet stuff,” he added awkwardly.

A warmth bloomed in my chest. I had done something right! I grabbed the desserts on my plate and gave them to him. “Well, here, I like spicy more anyway. And I think so. People left me alone because they thought I’d be an easy target. And they’ll leave you alone because they’ll think you’re going to be hard to kill. They’d rather get you worn down first before trying to kill you.”

“What do you think? Taken a lot to get you worn down?” Garnet smiled at Ives. “Maybe you should take some sparring time with Chess. See if she can figure out what gets you worn down.”

Fuck, that was an innuendo too?? I blushed completely. “I…” Well, might as well go all in. Ives was gorgeous. I straightened my back. “Well, I’ll probably get worn down before him, and I’ll need a bed! And I don’t even have a room.”

“You don’t have a room?” Ives frowned, seeming to not even realize the double nature of my comments. “Do you not have a room because they think you’re a monster?” I opened my mouth, but he kept talking. “I won’t stand for it. I don’t need a bed and probably won’t use mine. You should use it.”

Oh shit. I had to keep going. “I’m honestly not a fan of sleeping alone,” I mumbled. It always meant that Aeflin would be coming to bother me sometime during the night.

Ives shrugged. “I could be there. If you wanted me to. I didn’t bother to look to see how big the beds were.”

“You can fit.” Garnet grinned wickedly. “You can both fit.”

Oh double shit. My cheeks heated up more, and I glanced at Garnet. The bastard (affectionate). But I needed to get us back on track. “Is there anything else you’d like to discuss about the Games?” My voice sounded strangled.

“Not at the moment.” Ives kept eating as if he hadn’t just invited me to his bed.

Garnet flashed me a toothy grin and suddenly turned to look at Ives. “So, Ives, I didn’t see many people show up for visiting. For you either. You don’t have any friends, or, you know, more intimate acquaintances?”

Oh shit. My cheeks burned worse as Ives’s expression went blank. “I don’t have any relationships, Garnet,” he droned, “and I’m not interested in you.”

Garnet scowled, but kept his attention. “Oh, but you’re interested in someone? Maybe someone who likes dogs, like Niner? Do you like long or short hair?”

I had short hair, but I wanted it long. Ives scoffed. “Are you going to try and set me up with someone?”

“Maybe, you never know.”

My cheeks got even hotter. Ives was so pretty. Well, maybe I could run with it? “A relationship can win you points with the sponsors.”

“Yeah, see, there you go.” Garnet jabbed Ives’s shoulder. “Maybe you should see who you can shack up with to see if you can get us some perks. Now let’s see, who could you pair up with?” He very obviously looked around the car before his eyes landed on me. “Hmm, if only there was a cutie you could hang around.”

Wait, actually, Garnet made a point. Ives needed to be around someone who would help him. I wouldn’t be able to help him. People hated me. So, they wouldn’t want to help Ives or Garnet if they were seen as being too friendly with me. And anyway, if Garnet was going to tease me, I was going to tease him back. I smiled innocently. “Yeah! Good idea. You should have a relationship with Garnet! He’s cute! And he seems very interested in your love life. If nothing else, maybe a fake relationship?”

“Whoa, wait. What?” Garnet’s smile slipped. “That’s not what I meant.” But it was what was best for both Garnet and Ives.

Ives smirked. “Is that why you’re so interested?”

“No!”

“You don’t have to be shy. That’d be a win-win for you, wouldn’t it?”

Good. Garnet wasn’t trying to hook me up with Ives, even though that didn’t sound bad. “Oh, c’mon. The sponsors seeing two men willing to kill for each other? They’ll eat it up.” I leaned forward with the biggest grin.

“Ives isn’t exactly the one inviting me into his bed,” Garnet hissed across the table. And my cheeks totally got warm again.

“You’re jealous, so that’s it.” Ives nodded solemnly. “Understandable.”

“Screw you.”

“Hold on now. You’re rushing things, don’t you think?”

Garnet ignored him. “They wouldn’t buy that. He’s a…a…a fucking machine.”

“Again. Rushing things.” Ives smiled at him.

I tilted my head. “And they would buy it with anyone else? I think you’re just scared to admit your feelings.”

“I hate him,” Garnet hissed, leaning farther over the table. “Do you know, he threatened to kill me within five minutes of meeting me? He was gonna kill me.”

“You were hardly a victim,” Ives said.

At least the conversation wasn’t about her anymore. I smiled smugly. “It’s passion, you just need to flip it a little, and the sponsors love passion.”

“Passion of murder!”

“I think she has a point,” Ives said, “it couldn’t hurt if it would help in the long run.”

Garnet gaped at him, looking him up and down. “Wait a second,” he scoffed. “You’re telling me you actually wanna try and win this thing now?”

“Why shouldn’t we?”

“Because, even if we survived, regardless if we’re ‘together’, one of us would have to go.”

I perked up. “I’ve heard rumors that there’s a chance that more than one person might be able to win, if they put on enough of a show and are convincing enough. And there’s always been the rumors of people escaping from the arena.”

“Escaping?” Garnet perked up. “You’ve been there. You really think someone could do that?”

“Skipping right over the convincing part, are we?” Ives asked.

I shrugged. “I don’t know. I was on my own mostly in the arena, and I was just trying to survive, honestly. But I have heard plenty of rumors of tributes escaping. I bet it could be done.”

“I doubt we’re going to make many friends,” Ives said. “I’d imagine anyone finds out we were Peacekeepers and we’re going to be on our own too. I think Chess is right. We need to be intimidating and try to win audience favor.”

I nodded. “But I still think the relationship idea, even if it’s fake, will win points too.”

“Even if it’s fake -of course it’d be fake,” Garnet grumbled.

“You hate them,” Ives said. “Why not try to make a game of it. See how well you can trick them?” He smirked. And damn, he was so pretty when he smiled.

I laughed. It had been so long since she had last laughed. “You wanna practice now?”

“I’m trying to eat,” Garnet grumbled. Ives reached over and held his hand. “You’re fuckin’ pushing it.”

“People like tender touches when they’re being affectionate, right?” Ives asked.

I frowned. Did they? “I…think so. The people who pay to sleep with me generally aren’t gentle or tender.”

Garnet frowned at me. “Is that…like a Games thing or an all the time thing? Shouldn’t you make them stop if they aren’t treating you right?”

I played with my food for a bit. I had turned 18 right after the previous Hunger Games, and that was when the people paying for my time started. “It started happening once I turned 18. And the door’s locked, so I can’t leave, and Aeflin already warned that if I tried to fight back, the Capitol would just restrain me next time. The Capitol has some big payers for me.”

Garnet hissed, yanking his hand free from Ives’s grip. “You’re gonna break bones man!”

“Aeflin?” Ives looked intensely at me, and my cheeks warmed up. “Who is that?”

I frowned. Why did he want to know? “My caretaker. The one who keeps me from going out of control.”

Ives frowned. “If they’re to take care of you, why would they let terrible things like that happen to you? They aren’t a very good caretaker in my opinion.”

“Are they here?” Garnet looked around the car. “I’ll tell ‘em.”

I shook my head. “Thankfully, she isn’t. Or I’d have to deal with her the whole time. I usually stay with her during the Hunger Games because the tributes from this district never want my help. And she’s just there to make sure that I don’t go out of control. She says I’m a monster too.”

Ives tilted his head sharply. “So you don’t enjoy her company? And what kind of caretaker would call you a monster? I’m beginning to doubt you ‘need to be controlled’ at all.”

“I agree with you on that.” Garnet nodded.

That didn’t make sense. I had destroyed a whole arena with my magic! How was I not a monster? “I…” I wilted a little. They wouldn’t look at me the same if they really knew what I had done. “I’m terrified of my magic, and what I can do with it. Whenever I’m around her, I feel calm about that.”

“Calm? Or too terrified to move a finger?” Ives asked. Garnet nudged him in the side, and he spoke calmer. “Maybe there’s other ways to control you’re magic. Like practice.”

No, that wouldn’t work. “If I use it, I’ll just hurt someone.” I fiddled with my hands. “And, I've only now really realized that I don’t like being around her.”

Ives stayed quiet, just frowning. “Well,” Garnet said. “Then maybe you shouldn’t spend as much time around her. Use the excuse you’re training us.” He shrugged. “I’ll vouch for you.”

I nodded, a smile pulling at my lips. Wow. I’d love to spend time with them. But still, it would be nice to not talk about Aeflin anymore. It made me feel uncomfortable even talking about her. “That sounds nice. And, speaking of which, you should keep practicing your romance.” I grinned wickedly. It would be a good distraction for all of us.

Ives frowned down at his plate, but Garnet took some food from it. Garnet looked over at Ives. “What, she said practice. You’re supposed to share it with me.” Ives just kept staring down as he pushed the plate toward Garnet. Shit, I had said something wrong. “Okay, so we’re gonna need a backstory. We met while on duty?”

I relaxed a little. At least we weren’t talking about Aeflin anymore. “Maybe one of you saved the other’s life? The Capitol will love that.”

“Oh, it was me,” Garnet announced. “And he wouldn’t stop following me around like a lost puppy after that.”

“Highly unlikely,” Ives said. “I can be uploaded if anything were to happen. The danger isn’t there for me. It would make more sense if you had needed saving.”

“Okay, but then you realized you saved the right guy by how awesome I am.”

“I’m so glad you’re taking this seriously,” Ives grumbled. “And I’m assuming we’ll weave the story one of us volunteered when we found out the other was chosen at the reaping.”

I nodded. “They’d love that too. Caesar Flickerman is going to hound you two about details.” I snickered. That would be fun to watch.

“Hear that, that means you’re gonna have to tell them what you like about me.” Garnet grinned as he took another bite.

“You’re brash and opinionated, stubborn, also brave, and you’re not afraid to stand your ground even when it’s not in your best interest,” Ives said without missing a beat. Garnet stared at him. “Don’t look so surprised. You should see the list of things I hate about you.”

I looked over at Garnet. “What about you, Garnet? What do you like about Ives?” Garnet grimaced, hesitating.

“Wow, please, don’t strain yourself,” Ives muttered.

“I’m thinking. I’ve known you, like, two days!” Garnet huffed. “You’re, well, you’re resourceful and protective.”

“I’m glad that was your best attempt.”

I laughed. “I guess that’s something to think about. And also, just to warn you, the Capitol is not modest by any means. They’ll probably insist on a kiss.”

“C’mon!” Garnet threw his hands up. “It’s probably like a bear trap in there. Are you trying to get me killed?”

I smiled innocently. “I’m sure he’ll be tender. He was the one to point out that couples are tender with each other anyway.”

Garnet propped his chin on his hand, fighting a smirk. Oh no. What was he planning now? “You think he will? You know, I’ll be honest, I don’t know if I’ve ever kissed anyone before. Why don’t you two show me how it’s done? You know, so it looks convincing.”

I knew exactly what he was doing, but I did want to help. And Ives was gorgeous. Shit. I blushed. I braced myself though. I had never particularly liked kissing. The Capitol people were always rough and unpleasant. But maybe that wasn’t how it was supposed to be? “I’ve only kissed Capitol bastards who weren’t tender, but I’ll try.”

“I’m not going to kiss you just for his entertainment if it’s going to make you uncomfortable then.” Ives frowned at Garnet. “You don’t have to agree with him.”

I blushed more. He was so nice. But that actually made me want to kiss him. “But it would be good practice, and I want to help you any way I can,” I mumbled. Especially if I couldn’t help them much during the Games.

Ives stood up, glaring at Garnet and his shit eating grin as he walked around the table. His expression softened when he looked over at me, and I blushed more. “You’ve given us plenty of information to be helpful, you know.” He sat down beside me. “If it’s too much you don’t have to. Please don’t feel like you have anything to prove to that gremlin.”

My cheeks were burning. I never felt this flustered around the bastards I was forced to sleep with. So, why was Ives so different? "They'll call for it, and it'll be a good way to make it believable." I looked up at him. "I want to help." Then I looked over at Garnet. "Which means that you should practice with me too." A small smirk played on my lips.

Garnet smirked as well.

"Well, I'll be gentle," Ives said. "Please tell me if I make you uncomfortable." He reached out and cupped the side of my face. I tensed, but he was very gentle, and I automatically melted as he leaned in and closed his eyes, stopping just inches from my lips.

He gently pulled me closer until our lips met, and he kissed me gently and passionately at the same time. I melted more, closing my eyes and kissing him back. This was how kissing was supposed to be? How did people do this every day and act like everything was normal? This was amazing. I never wanted to stop.

Too soon, Ives moved back, placing a soft kiss on my cheek that I knew was burning. I sat there for a bit, trying to force my thoughts to stop thinking about how to convince him to kiss me again. I laughed a bit. "You...you don't have anything to worry about Garnet." Fuck, my voice sounded strangled.

"Yeah, well, I wouldn't be surprised if he tried to bite my tongue off."

"It wouldn't be the first time you'd nearly lose it, would you." Ives chuckled, sitting back in his chair. Niner trotted over and sat between us.

I still couldn’t think of much besides how nice it had been to be close to him, how nice the touch had felt, and how much I wanted to kiss him again. So, instead I ducked my head so hopefully, Ives wouldn’t see what I was thinking in my expression. I petted Niner, especially giving her ear rubs.

Garnet pulled me out of my wandering thoughts. "So if we're supposed to be a couple, they're gonna ask us questions about it? And you think if we can really convince them, they'll give us a better chance at surviving? Like I'm not gonna have to cry or anything, right?"

I nodded, still not looking at either of them. I was totally still blushing. "If you can convince them, you should have a lot better chance of surviving. Last year's Games had a couple that got parachutes every day. And the Capitol audience was falling over trying to get them out alive."

"If I get out, the Capitol is gonna be pissed," Garnet chuckled. "Ok, fine. If this can help out, I'm game. Maybe if we can play it up, Chess can take a vacation."

"I agree," Ives nodded.

I frowned, tilting my head. "Why would I be able to vacation?"

"Because, if we're putting on a show and have the audience wrapped around our finger, you wouldn't have to convince anyone to send in favors." Garnet shrugged. "You can just kick back and look smug."

"You won't owe the Capitol anything." Ives said. "And maybe if we win it, no one will think you're a monster anymore. You'll be just an extremely good mentor. Victors in your first year."

I laughed. This certainly wasn’t my first year. "It's my sixth year trying, I just haven't actually been able to mentor before this. But the Capitol audience doesn't know that. And Aeflin won't let me go that easily. I'm pretty sure she's controlling and possessive."

"Pretty sure?" Garnet grinned. "From what I've heard, she is. But you'd know it, and I'm sure other tributes would find out too."

"And maybe once this is said and done, it won't matter what Aeflin has to say about it." Ives’s eyes darkened, "Not if I have anything to say about it."

Wait, what? Why would he want to help me? I didn’t deserve any help. "She's...she's not human. I always feel weird around her, and I've heard that Shades like her are immune to physical attacks. And she can shapeshift."

"Shades?" Garnet tilted his head.

"Well, I'm not human either," Ives crossed his arms. "No one should be making anyone do any of this. And certainly not be used by the Captiol."

"Ok, that's something I like about you," Garnet admitted.

No. He couldn’t see Aeflin. He would get hurt. “But…but…” How could I argue that? “Please don’t get hurt…”

"I've already kinda accepted we're probably gonna get hurt during these games. And no one should get comfortable with what the Capitol is doing. Not even a Shade," Garnet snarled. "The Games. What she makes you do. It's all corrupt." Ives nodded.

"Yeah, but...you're the first people in a long time who've been kind to me." I looked up at them, even though my cheeks were still burning. They were both so kind. "I'm going to do whatever I can to keep you safe." Anything. It didn't matter what that cost me.

"We appreciate that, but we also want you to be safe," Ives added. "We're a team now, the three of us. And if one of us isn't safe, none of us are. I understand we're going to be in danger, but we don't need to take unnecessary risks."

But the only way that I could help them was to put myself in danger. "Which means I need to protect you as best I can."

Ives and Garnet shared a glance that I couldn’t read. "Well, I think we should focus on getting things ready between the three of us. We have a backstory, something of a game plan, we just have to keep ourselves in check," Ives said. "You'll both need rest."

I nodded, ducking my head, trying to think of a way to stop blushing. "You do too. But yeah, I'm tired." I glanced over at Ives, my cheeks burning even worse. "Is it still okay to sleep in your bed?"

"Of course, if you'd feel comfortable to." He nodded. "And I think resting will be the most important thing we should do right now."

I nodded. That sounded so nice to sleep in a comfortable bed with no worry about Aeflin bothering me and to be around someone who was nice and kind. I currently wanted to be very close to Ives. I stood up, still petting Niner. “Can Niner be there too?”

"Absolutely, I'm too nervous to leave her out on her own. Especially around people who may want to sabotage us." He stood, Niner also getting to her feet.

The best news ever! I smiled and hugged Niner. She licked my cheek. “That’s so good! You’re such an amazing dog!”

"If you'd like, if I'm unable to take her with me, she can stay with you. Make sure no one is unfair to you." Ives smiled down at us, and I nodded. That was an amazing idea! I would take good care of her. Ives looked over at Garnet. “You should rest too. Especially when we’re on the train. There’s no telling what we’ll get into next.”

I looked over at Garnet with an innocent smile. “Yeah, because tomorrow, you’ll have to practice your kissing skills too.”

“Yeah, yeah, ha-ha.” Garnet stood up. “Just try not to practice too much with my fellow tribute.”

Oh shit. I could kiss Ives again? My cheeks got hotter at the thought. “I’ll try my hardest. Just not sure if I’ll be trying to listen to your advice or not.”

“Maybe you should practice calling me your boyfriend.” Ives grinned. “You can’t be jealous until then.”

I laughed, coming up with the best idea. “Yes, that’s a great idea. And you should share a goodnight kiss.”

“That’s right.” Ives grinned.

“Like you’d be gentle like you are with her.” Garnet chuckled, but it died off when Ives stepped around the table. “Look, you’re supposed to be taking her to your room.” He tried to take a step back, but Ives took his face in his hands and kissed him quickly on the cheek.

Yes! I cheered with a grin. “You’ve met a milestone in your relationship!”

Garnet wrinkled his nose and stepped back. “Alright, there. You have your goodnight kiss. Let me go to sleep.”

I nodded and smiled. “Have a good night!” I stood up, still petting Niner as I followed Ives.

He brought me to his room, opening the door for me. “I don’t mind sleeping in the floor if it would make you more comfortable.”

That didn’t make any sense. I shook my head. It would also be so nice to be close to him. “No, I wouldn’t let that happen. That’s not fair. It’s your room. And you deserve the bed.”

“I don’t agree.” He shook his head. "I don't require rest like you do. I'd really not get any use from it, and I don't want to share it with you if it may remind you of... less tolerable company. You'll be under the same amount of stress as we will. You need adequate rest."

I couldn’t argue that, but I could explain that he didn’t make me feel uncomfortable like the bastards did. “I…don’t think I will. You’re a lot different than them.”

He paused from readying the bed. "Thank you, I take that as a compliment, but it should be standard, I'm afraid. I don’t entirely understand your situation, but I do think you should be shown the way you should be treated." He looked over at me, and I had to look away before he could see how red my cheeks were. I didn’t understand. "I can share the bed as long as you tell me if it makes you uncomfortable at any time."

I nodded. He made me feel comfortable enough that I could say I’d do that. When I was just with the other Capitol people, I had learned to stay quiet. But I probably would tell him if I felt uncomfortable. “I will, but I think it will be nice sleeping with you.” Oh fuck, that sounded wrong. I froze, and my cheeks burned worse. “I didn’t mean it that way!” I focused on petting Niner, not looking at him.

“It’s alright, I didn’t think you meant it that way. And I hope I don’t make you nervous. I don’t mean to.”

That wasn’t why I was blushing. “N…no. I’m just flustered. You’re really attractive.” I ducked my head, embarrassed at the words that slipped out.

He paused, and I could feel his eyes watching me. Oh, I had said the wrong thing, hadn’t I? He finally turned back to making the bed. "Thank you. I... well, I'm not accustomed to being called as much, so I'm not certain what I should say in turn. I," he hesitated. "I don't know if I would consider it attraction, but I am certain I want to be sure you leave these Games well protected. I want you to be safe and happy."

Oh fuck. A warmth bloomed in my chest, and I wasn’t sure what I was feeling. It was stronger than just happiness. I rubbed Niner’s ears. “I don’t really understand. But I want the same for you.”

“Then maybe we can look out for one another.” He nodded. “And the first step can be making sure you get a good night’s rest tonight.”

I nodded, my cheeks burning completely. I walked over to the bed, tensing a bit at the memories, but this was different. Ives was kind and gentle and didn’t want to hurt me. He said I wasn’t a monster, and I didn’t really believe that, but I appreciated the kindness. So, this was different. I took off my shoes and sat down on the bed and pulled up the sheets around me, patting for Niner to jump on the bed as well. She did, curling up in the crook of my legs.

Ives got in the bed after taking off his shoes and laid on the other side, not getting close. Which was nice, but I did want to be close to him. He looked over at me and carefully took one of my hands. “Are you alright?”

His touch was so gentle. I nodded, not able to find my voice right away. “I’m alright.” I cuddled closer to him, and he was so comfortable and warm and…and I felt safe around him. I didn’t think he would try anything or be mean. I finagled myself around so I had one arm wrapped around Ives and the other arm wrapped around Niner. I buried my face in his shirt. “This is so nice. I’ve never felt such gentle touch before.”

“That should be a crime,” he whispered playfully, eventually wrapping an arm around me as well and pulling me closer. And instead of stifling, like it felt whenever the people who paid for my time fell asleep on top of me, he felt like a weighted blanket, comforting and safe. I released a long, relaxed breath. This was amazing.

“Thank you. I feel so safe.” I relaxed in his arms, and I fell asleep soon afterwards.

I was back in the arena, and Naivi was next to me. But she was bleeding out but not looking bothered. She was actually smiling at me. "You have that power, and you still let me die? You wanted me to die, didn't you?"

I shook my head, starting to cry already. "No. I wanted you to live. I wanted you to live even more than I wanted to live. Please. I'm sorry."

She laughed and pulled me close, the blood getting on my hands and arms and creeping up to my shirt and towards my head. "You never cared. You just wanted me to die."

"No! I didn't!" I started sobbing as my fire appeared out of nowhere, and Naivi screamed, burning in the flames. I screamed and surged forward, but I blinked, and Naivi was gone, and I was surrounded by the charred remains of the arena, all of the kids' bones piled in front of me.

I sat up and started sobbing, curling in on myself. I was a monster. And I didn’t deserve kindness. Ever.

Ives jumped awake beside me, and that was something else to hate myself for. I had woken him up. He needed rest. “I’m sorry,” he said quietly, sounding disoriented. “I’m sorry. I didn’t mean to invade your space.” He sat up, not getting close to me. Which was what I deserved. “Are you okay?”

I buried my face in my arms, hiding from him as I sobbed worse and coughed up some smoke. “I’m just a fucking monster. That’s all I am.”

“I know that isn’t true. If you were a monster, you wouldn’t be trying to help Garnet or I at all.” He placed a hand on my back, and I wanted to lean into the touch, but I didn’t deserve it.

I shook my head. “I couldn’t save my ally.” I couldn’t say Naivi’s name out loud. “And you didn’t see the arena after I was through with it. Everything was gone. All those kids…” I started shaking and curled up on myself more.

“You didn’t do it on purpose. It wasn’t intentional.” His voice was low and soothing, and I found my sobs calming down. “It was an accident, and accidents don’t make you a monster.”

I…I had killed half of the tributes who had gone in. I was a fucking monster. “I…I can’t…I can’t forgive myself. I have these nightmares so often. I need to be controlled. I can’t let that happen again.”

Ives leaned over and gently took my hand, and I flinched away. "Chess, you are the only one who should control yourself. You control yourself, and no one else should claim control over you. Even if you can't forgive yourself, you've kept going. You're here, helping us. That isn't what a monster would do."

I couldn’t agree. The arena. The bodies burned to a crisp. “I can’t believe that. I’m sorry. With everything I’ve done, I deserve to be hurt.”

“Then I’ll prove it to you,” he whispered, placing his hand beside me instead. "I believe you deserve to live a better life for what you've been through. When none of this has been your choice. And regardless what you say, think, or what they tell you, I'm going to stay right here with you to help you believe it."

Niner moved closer to me, whining, and I petted her, which helped calm me a bit more. “I…” I don’t deserve it. But he wouldn’t believe that. He’d already proven that. So, it was pointless to say that out loud. "Thank you. It’ll probably take a lot of work.” I tried to laugh, but it wasn’t as effective because I was still crying a little.

“That’s alright, I’m made for a lot of work.” Niner scooted closer and licked my face, focusing on the tears, and another laugh spilled out of me. “And it will certainly be worth it.”

It was hard to believe, but I did trust him. “Thank you. You and Garnet are the nicest people I’ve met.” I petted Niner and found Ives’s hand, squeezing it.

“That’s…well, that makes me sad, really. I don’t think we’re the best candidates for ‘nice’.” He chuckled. “But we’re here for you. You’re on our team and I…I worry about you.”

The touch was comforting, so I moved closer to him, leaning against him. I felt so much safer. I sighed, and the tears finally stopped. “You are both nice. And thank you. I’m going to protect you to the best of my ability.”

“I know you will, and that, the fact you want to care for others, that disqualifies you as a monster.” He squeezed my hand. “And I think we’re lucky to have you as our mentor.”

“Thank you. I’ll earn that, I promise.” I closed my eyes, actually getting tired again. Normally, I didn’t fall back asleep after a nightmare.

“I know.” He combed a hand through my hair, and I melted. That felt so good. “You’re going to do great things, and prove them wrong.”

“I’ll do whatever I can,” I mumbled, my eyelids getting heavy. “No one will listen to me, so I’ll offer favors to get you sponsors.” I leaned completely on him, everything feeling heavy and tired.

I barely registered Ives frowning as he held me, petting over my head before I fell asleep.

#tw death mention #writeblr hunger games #writeblr #sorry again for the length #Chess interacting with Garnet and Ives is just so much fun #also no editing we dei like mne

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