#sorry about the negativity in the public tag i just wanted to clear this up in case anyone else in the fandom got the wrong idea

[waitmyturtles]

Hi there! I was just reading up on your post about all The Discourse that happened with MBDL (I don’t follow them but their post showed up on my For You dash and in isolation I agreed with it but then saw your addition and followed the posts and realised it was part of a much bigger conversation and *wowser*).

This is just a tiny question but I’m curious as to what you think because you are very active discourse wise on here. When you have a ��negative” (or what can be perceived by some as negative) opinion about a show/pairing/etc, do you believe you shouldn’t use tags? In your 4 Minutes example you had a TW at the start of the post but still used tags. So if people were searching the 4 Minutes tag they would see your post, even tho you had a TW at the start. And to be clear I don’t think you were being like nasty or anything, you were stating your opinion but it was an opinion that could be deemed as negative by some, therefore, some people would argue that you shouldn’t use tags because the tags should only be used for, I guess, “nice” posts?

Like obviously there is a difference between writing an analysis/review/your feelings in a measured way and being straight up hateful but I’m curious about what you think about drawing the line between the two? Like I saw someone say regarding The Heart Killers that they don’t care about KantBison and just want to watch the FadelStyle scenes and someone commented, “why would you use the tag to say something like this if you have negative shit to say don’t use the tag!” (But they were… ruder about it)

I guess on the one hand it’s like, yes, if you’re being a “hater”, then don’t wander into a fandom space and yell at people enjoying something, but what can be deemed as “negative” and “hateful” can be a subjective thing because some fans often confuse being “critical/having criticism” with being “hateful”. I think the problem is some fans will see a post that has critiques and read it as an attack and say, “why would you tag this and enter it into the fandom space, you should have left it tagless so that it floated in the netherworld and I never saw it!”

Sorry if this makes no sense!! But yeah, to tag or not to tag, that is the question.

Hello @summerofofelia! This is a great question, one that I have thoughts on and that I also posed to my homies. As you have gone through The Discourse (capitalized, ha, and I’m sorry you waded through that), this is a relevant topic for the moment!

Generally speaking, I don’t think any one faction “owns” a tag. This perspective of “owning” a tag strikes me as an unnecessary power move of censorship of thought.

Some of the core arguments we’ve been having on each side of the Discourse have been around the question of: what pieces of art are ripe and available for criticism? My position (and that of my homies) is: if it’s art, it’s up for analysis, full stop. And I think you’re seeing, in the THK tag, power moves by people wanting to control what *can* be seen in that tag. And others can be susceptible to those power moves and public shaming moments, without even knowing it.

By the time I had gotten around to watching that 4 Minutes finale, I had done some previous tag scanning and saw the reviews were mixed. So I watched the episode, processed it (angrily), TWed my post for accountability, and went at it. Even though the environment of feeling about that finale was mixed, I also wanted to note, before anyone read my post, that my feelings were strong. As expected, I received mostly agreement from people who felt similarly about the finale, and some detracting feedback from folks who hadn’t read or heeded the TW.

Like I said in the Discourse post: I expect people to exert agency and personal responsibility to read what they read, and filter/block what they don’t want to read. The filter and block functions are there for a reason. The TW is important to me in these moments where I know a show has meant something to some folks, but — when I think a show has narratively failed (my main criterion for feeling if a show was artistically successful or not), I do feel like giving it the critical dress-down, and figuring out what worked and what didn’t. I think that process is not only worth writing about, but it’s also worth a contribution to the thoughtful annals of meta and feedback that this small community has about the shows. If we didn’t do that, the feedback on all of these shows, I think, would be universally bland, groupthinky, and untruthful.

Art is worth analyzing — and anyone who wants to write criticism has a right to do so.

I also want to distinguish among meta, versus mean-spirited blather (like unnecessary bullying of a celeb or a pair), versus the kind of comment that that blogger said about THK. These categories are anchored on intent.

I think all purposeful meta (including, tone-wise, critical rants) gets tagged, because it’s not being done to wantonly bully the actors or the show itself without analytical proof.

I kinda think that THK comment is hilarious, honestly, ha. I don’t think it was being done out of a mean spirit. It could be tagged — or it might not. Someone *was* speaking their truth, specifically about the show. And if another reading didn’t like reading that truth, then — they can block that blog, as I wrote in the Discourse, and curate their Tumblr experience.

Saying, say, that FirstKhao or JoongDunk simply suck, and just leaving that hanging out there like mistletoe, without analytical proof? Condescending to them meanly? Something like “idk I just don’t like his face?” I’d say don’t tag that. What is it meant to contribute to a larger conversation, which Tumblr itself is designed to foster? If a post is meant to simply bully, without context, I’d say, no tags (and reconsider why you’re on Tumblr).

Finally, as my homies and I were ruminating on, as mentioned above, readers have to exercise agency and personal responsibility on this site. Readers can’t expect any one blogger to fall in line with their demands. That’s a passive, Karen-esque demonstration of an attempt to steal power from another person. That fandom Karen isn’t taking responsibility for their own mind and body, and is expecting another person to do so on their behalf.

As a meta writer, I don’t think or write like anyone else, and it’s clear from the feedback I’ve received over the last two and a half years on this site that people have appreciated my writing and singular perspectives on shows. I also love the writing process. And part of being on Tumblr is sharing the joy of the love of whatever art we’re consuming (even if we’re critical of it), because Tumblr is about sharing and, hey — it’s a social media site. So I also think that that kind of sharing is important to consider when we use tags. As journalists know — writers write, in part, for the byline, and in part to share their work with readers. Tags help us disseminate our work and create a community of conversation around the art that’s worth pondering.

We *just* had this with Spare Me Your Mercy, with AWESOME dialogue among fans, stans, and critics of the shows that was diverse, considerate, enlightening, RESPECTFUL, and so much fun. People on all sides of the debate were reblogging each other and respecting our positions. I couldn’t have written my final assessment without tag diving, and I’m glad people weren’t afraid to praise or critique the show on the tag — because seeing that spectrum of reflection was, I think, a truthful assessment of how the show landed in community.

One last point. I think criticism itself is an art of writing to strive for doing well. (My 4M rant doesn’t count in this category, lol, but much of my writing does strive for this standard.) Many of my favorite writers are critics. My personal faves are some of the New Yorker stalwarts — Hilton Als on theater (if you consume Western queer media, I think Als’s writing is required reading), Anthony Lane on television, Pauline Kael on film. And Nat Hentoff, who wrote for the Village Voice, defined jazz criticism. I’ve written before about the importance of good criticism.

I don’t want to imagine a world where art critiques aren’t welcome. Criticism, as I wrote in the link above, so often lifts and celebrates art, even when that art is imperfect. (And it’s so rare when we get PERFECT art. Super rare.) If a piece of art fails on certain markers of success, like narrative coherence — is that not worth analyzing….because of another anonymous person’s rubric of arbitrary criteria?

I don’t buy it. That’s tone-policing censorship. The fandom Karens don’t own that turf. And I think that’s when using the tag is important.

It’s worth diversifying the global conversation on art. Tumblr is literally designed to do this via à vis tags. And Tumblr established the filter and block functions so that readers could protect themselves, with personal agency, and curate their own experiences. That agency doesn’t fall on anyone else but the individual reader. The writers can’t read the readers’ minds.

TL;DR no one owns tags! It ain’t a turf war.

[ivomartins]

misogyny is not that deep to you because it happens in a game?????? that's iffy

no, it's not that misogyny isn't that deep to me. i face it on a regular basis and have faced it regularly my whole life as an arab woman born and raised in the middle east. i'm also staunchly against it but i just didn't feel the need to state that in the original ask because you don't know me and i don't have to justify or prove myself to you

the reason why i can overlook the issues with zain is because i know firsthand that misogyny is rampant among the majority of men residing in the middle east because of my background. it's the standard. even the most conscious, considerate arab man will still succumb to misogyny to one extent or another because it's ingrained in our society. because of that, zain's mentality is not surprising to me and controversial as it may sound i don't find it off-putting because it makes him realistic

whether or not this is the case for you, i'm someone who has come to terms with the fact that the man i marry will still be misogynistic in some way or another no matter how perfect he is otherwise. that's why zain being like this isn't a world-ender for me

such a mentality is wrong of course and it's not to be justified or brushed aside and that's not what i did. i brushed aside the fact that this is a game. it's not real life. i can acknowledge that something is wrong while still enjoying the media it's presented in. doesn't mean i accept or condone it

[beautifulpersonpeach]

I’m relatively new to the fandom and have really enjoyed a lot of your posts… I have a question that I couldn’t quickly find an answer to in searching through your tags…

What’s the deal with streaming? Like, I listen to BTS. I enjoy them a lot, I listen to a pretty even mix of all their albums though I probably like MOTS:7 era the best). Some days I listen to them like all day lol (if I’m cleaning the house or something) and I listen to them a lot in the car or while working. I’ve enjoyed some solo releases more than others so I naturally streamed those more. but like the more I start following accounts on here and on army twt the more confused I get about the intense pressure to stream constantly? I’ve heard that people play certain songs (or albums I guess?) on repeat on mute and/or have dedicated streaming devices they keep going all the time.

Not to be negative or rude at all but like…what? Maybe because I’m new to KPop and have never followed it until BTS but that just sounds so weird and… idk the word, maybe disingenuous? Again I do not mean this as an attack I am just genuinely confused. Wouldn’t BTS themselves want us only to listen if we were actually enjoying it and not out of some competitive attempt to get better ratings? It feels so odd to me, like that is not how I would behave with any other artist that I love. I would only ever listen to them out of a genuine desire to hear their music. But there seems to be so much weird shaming out there for when/if songs are not streamed heavily enough? And for any other artist I would just write that off as a difference in taste among the fandom, but here it’s treated like a personal wrong against the artist…?

But as I say that I’m sure there’s more to it… I have definitely seen people talking about payola or chart manipulation so idk. If I should google this instead, just tell me to, I just have already tried and didn’t find that much clarity, just a bunch of people on quora and Reddit talking about certain songs not getting streamed enough.

Anyways this is super long, sorry if it annoys you. Just thought you seemed knowledgeable and levelheaded enough to ask? Love your posts. All the best.

*

Ask 2:

Okay wait I’m the anon that just asked about streaming and I went and re-read your post about “inorganic success” — I had read it before but somehow I didn’t put together that the 24-7 streaming is an attempt to combat payola or like go up against it I guess. Okay. That makes more sense. I still feel like there’s a weird focus on charting but I guess if it’s about getting more concert venues and more radio play it makes sense.

You can ignore my last ask then I’m sorry if I’m being dense or something lol.

***

You haven’t at all asked a stupid question. Your confusion is easily explained by you being new to k-pop, and everyone new to this madhouse asks this question eventually. I’ve talked about this before, but can’t find the post for the life of me so I’ll briefly go over it again.

First, you need to understand what k-pop is. K-pop is a system that gamifies music consumption. Competition is something you’ll see in the music industry regardless. Western stans such as Arianators, Barbz, and the Beyhive have organized around streaming goals and efforts for at least 10 years now. But there’s no other music industry that explicitly emphasizes competition among groups and fans, the way the k-pop industry does.

Competition is baked into its DNA:

From the idol training system under agencies with supposed specialities that are treated like warring houses a la Game of Thrones (a mentality created by the Big 3),

to the music shows where fans are encouraged to vote daily and weekly for the best artists and where wins are tied to streaming numbers,

to the highly publicized year-end award show criteria that outline key metrics for wins in streams, sales, and fan votes.

Basically, the k-pop industry creates a clear hierarchy of talent and acclaim for artists in their system, directly stokes fan participation in buying into that hierarchy, and the numbers are the easiest litmus test/short cut to settle the question of who is at the top.

And all of this is served with a cocktail of parasocial delusion and entitlement that has (more easily manipulated) fans thinking their perceived investment into their faves, earns them the right to micromanage their fave idols’ careers. All of this benefits the labels and industry because they’d rather have you more engaged (even if toxically), than not.

Everybody here buys into this system despite what they’ll tell you, some just manage to keep their wits and perspective to prevent getting sucked in, while others fall headfirst into it.

And so, like I said in my ‘inorganic success’ post you referenced, the focus on streaming is part of fans really just playing the game. Excess is something you’ll see on the charts in any case, whether in k-pop or in the West.

The difference with BTS and ARMYs however, is in the why of how the fandom streams. Essentially, you’re more likely to find people just as passionate about the music itself as they are about giving that music its due in hard numbers and consequently, recognition. You’re more likely to find fans like this in the ARMY fandom, than any other, in my opinion. Some people forget that the og ARMYs were k-pop fans first. They were fans who intimately understood how this system worked, they understood why the Big3 maintained dominance in k-pop for literal decades, and they saw the worth in the music BTS made, loved it enough to invest time into the playing the game better than anyone else at the time - pushing BTS from nugu status to where they are now, competing well outside the realm of the k-pop system but in a space that remains complex and highly competitive.

Another aspect that differentiates how ARMYs stream vs other k-pop fandoms, is that due to the sheer size of the fandom in absolute numbers, the average ARMY typically streams less than a typical k-pop stan. Basically, in other fandoms the typical stan has to stream more per person to have even a fraction of the gains seen in the ARMY fandom. ARMYs also aren’t doing anything other fandoms aren’t doing, it’s just that so far, they’re more efficient at it and don’t have to worry too much because BTS makes music that keeps attracting more fans, adding to the size of the fandom. They’ve also generally stayed away from more illegal methods given the intense scrutiny and animosity the fandom has faced for being part of the reason BTS upended the ordained hierarchy in this space. It sounds silly but it’s true.

But that’s only one side of the story. The other side is that in the fandom, everybody here really just does what they want. And many people genuinely enjoy listening to BTS that much and that intensely. Going by personal experience in what I observed before I became ARMY, I noticed that many ARMYs are Type A and organized - people who like and study data. The first time in my life that I saw someone create a spreadsheet for fan theories on a k-pop MV, was when an ARMY made one for I NEED U MV. I’m not sure what it is about BTS, but from the beginning they’ve attracted the sort of fans who genuinely enjoy listening to music often, people who enjoy creating and playing around with playlists, and people who track and measure applicable data. So your assumption that the people who stream like this are people who don’t actually enjoy the music, is wrong. In my opinion. For a lot of ARMYs, streaming and appreciating the music isn’t mutually exclusive.

Personally, I listen to music a lot. And I’ve always been that way, so when I became ARMY, I just sort of naturally fit into that culture. The sort of music BTS makes is a joy to listen to, I play their stuff literally everyday and it feels like the most normal thing in the world for me to sleep to Serendipity sometimes (in my sleep playlist which includes brown noise and rain sounds), or to do laundry to Let Me Know playing, or to drive to UGH and Set Me Free Pt 2 playing. I have multiple accounts because I listen to all kinds of music all the time, and it’s just convenient for me to have things set up such that I can flip on a playlist in every situation I’d want one on.

But like I said, the reality is that everyone in this fandom does what they want. It’s true there are certain people in the fandom who obsess over streaming, these are typically chartmys and akgaes, but most other people stream however they like. Fandom in general is a pressure cooker environment so I don’t blame you for noticing that pressure, but at the end of the day you really should just do what makes the most sense to you.

ARMYs generally recognize the reality of the space they are in, they recognize what it means for BTS, and most simply tweak their normal listening habits to maximize the gain and support to BTS. Plus sometimes it’s fun to play into fandom’s initiatives as a way to connect with other fans (such as in streaming parties).

I ended up rambling but let me know if this answered your question.

[implausiblyjosh]

I made a post a couple days ago about the Quinton Reviews situation. I'm deleting that post.

In that post, I expressed my emotional response and thought process as to why I saw vague posting from Lady Emily and Sarah Z as fucked up, and how it seems like people are vaguely alluding to Quinton being creepy without providing anything other than vibes and a handful of awkward DMs posted publicly on twitter in early 2021. In my mind, here's two people who I have seen with my own eyes have a history of spinning a narrative in bad faith, sometimes in the face of clear contradictory evidence, and one of whom has a negative history with the person in question. Since it was all vague posting, there are no specifics. There was just a pattern of history to go off of, and it looked clearly bad to me. I expressed that sentiment on here, and clarified questions and points people had when the post started getting traction.

Yesterday, Sarah Z saw it and reblogged it to her followers with clarification that her vague post was actually about Colleen Ballinger. Since then, she and others have suggested or demanded that I delete the post because it's misinformation, that I shouldn't have made a call out post for something I didn't have the full picture of, that I should have just asked her what was up, and that I was aiming to make a viral post.

The post was never a call out post. I was, very clearly, expressing frustration at something that was bothering me with public vague posts I was seeing. There was no call to action, I wasn't warning people about anyone, I was simply saying "this shit sucks!" about what I was seeing online. If that's your definition of a call out post... I'm not sure what to tell you.

I also do not really understand the "you should have just asked me" line. Not only because all lines of personal messaging to you were closed off, but why would I try and ask about a vague posting, seemingly vent post, wherein you say it's a red flag to vent to your audience because it leads to bad things. On top of that, I really don't need to reach out for comment, I'm not a journalist. I'm venting frustrations with public vague posts.

I'd also like to say that the angle that I was intentionally trying to make a viral post is silly at best. My initial post had no tags on it, and I cannot control what posts of mine speak to people. I'm also not sure if ~2k notes (at the time Sarah Z brought up the viral angle) is really viral, but I don't think I've ever had a post crack 200 before this weekend. Feel free to correct me on that. Additionally, you reblogged this to your audience instead of messaging me. All my lines of messaging on here are open, and it wouldn't have spread as far if you didn't reblog me.

I do not think my read of the vague posts were out of line. I laid out my reasons to think that Sarah Z is someone who spins a narrative, sometimes in the face of clear contradictory evidence, in her published work. I've also seen a pattern of making digs at him, on top of the posting of the DM from him. I simply do not trust her in this instance, and seeing it all line up just so made it seem like it was a dig at him. And while she's saying that I'm wrong, and that the post wasn't about him, she's still implying he's a creep in that clarifying post. So while she says I'm wrong about the vague post, my "seems like people are calling him a creep based on vibes and awkward DMs" point seemingly still stands.

At the end of the day, I wanted to vent on here about something that was bugging me. I didn't wanna dance around my specific points, so I was specific in what bothered me. I do not think I was as clear as I could have been in what my specific issues were, and for that I'm sorry. If/When I make criticisms in the future I will be sure to be as clear as I possibly can be.

The post is now gone, and I'll leave this pinned on my account for awhile.

[deafeninggardenerpanda]

proper post on the Thing™. tws for grooming mention and nsfw mentions im sure everyone gets the drill. im kinda obligated here to make a full reply since i was involved with the issue but Hopefully there wont be another post on this matter. if anyone has issues about what i say/think i didnt address something, talk to me in private yea im more than willing to listen and exchange views. i consulted with several people to make this post in the first place

i havent been keeping up with every response under the sun but i did see opal and blue-jester and some other people in positions of responsibility apologize, so im not gonna rag on them or go on and on about "they should know better!!" because they already know that now. instead ill talk about why i did what i did and why i thought what i did

yep i called opal a groomer at one point. oops thats on me and i shouldnt have thrown around a serious term and accusation like that without getting a better grasp on the situation. lets get that out of the way

to start, how the situation played out was i got an anon saying that i was mentioned in a callout post mtthrw made.

i dont know who sent this ask and it doesnt particularly matter. i just went to go check out the post, which was public and tagged with the main tags. this was not something given to me in private which i decided to spread publicly. first of all it was still in its 242 page glory and had minors discord ids and a lot of peoples discord developer ids (the string of numbers connected to your account that you cant change) on it. i wanted to boost the post eventually, but i was aware that i shouldnt boost something with that kind of information on it, so i dm'd the person who created the doc and gave them my suggestions first (i was the reason why the doc was shortened down to 54 pages later, for example).

they said theyd keep the former doc on the post as well, but i thought they wouldve taken out the developer ids and discord ids of minors in that one too. to be honest i dont know the extent they censored on either document, i was busy talking to other people (like quakey and another adult involved in the callout doc) at this time and then the docs got taken down before i could see them again. also note that i definitely shouldve asked them to censor the names of minors In General and not just the ids, so again, sorry, thats on me. anyways continuing with the actual events that happened, i made a vaguepost warning people to block the "negative" tag if they didnt want to see drama. (unrelated but yeah, also my bad for calling it tea/drama instead of taking it more seriously. i apologized for it after getting an anon about it later.) when i made the vaguepost i got a ton of people asking what was up, so i dm'd them.

i dm'd five people in total for this, all of which except for one or two i considered friends. that said, i have no clue how many people got access to this doc directly because of the people i shared it with. i made a lot of careless and irresponsible mistakes in my handling this, and im sorry for that. but for reasons ill cover in more detail as this post goes on, i dont think the person who made the doc had malicious intent or meant to cause harm to the minors involved.

yall see all the apologizing i just did right, now its time for me to state my case on why i seriously thought opal was a groomer at the time i called her one. btw im not gonna work to cover mtthrws ass on this, thats something they can and should make a comment on on their own.

for some reason some people think that i called opal a groomer because i personally dont like them or have personal beef with them which. Dude?? no?? i dont go around calling people groomers because of petty bullshit. as i said before, i dont know how many people saw this doc itself. i dont know how many people are commenting on this based on context other people are posting only. the doc was not up for that long, so i want to make it clear the ways opal was shown acting in the screenshots provided. this is not to send harassment or to rag on her, shes since stated she will change how she deals with these matters in the future and i am aware of that.

excuse me for not having the screenshots to back my words up (or if i do the screenshots are mad compressed), or not having complete recollection of the exact parties involved. as said ofc the doc was taken down, im reciting this to the best of my recollection, but i think people who saw the doc themselves will be able to back me up on a good portion of this at least. during the magowhore saga, there were a lot of people who came up to opal with their concerns regarding her interaction with minors and the suggestive content she was posting, as shown by her posting the anon asks she got in the planet-popstar discord. both these screenshots and her (as well as some other adults in the server) reactions to them were recorded in the doc.

types of reactions she had were; saying they're just jokes; (joking about it in itself); it was magolors fault for being horny, not her*; thats just how magolors character is; there's a difference between a character and the person writing it so she doesn't need to take responsibility (second screenshot below); (when initially getting vagueposted about her irresponsibility regarding the magowhore saga) lamenting about how people who she liked or looked up to had liked the vaguepost/agreed that she was being irresponsible (first screenshot below); directing blame onto kirbypurrs; assuming people sending her asks with concerns were part of kirbypurrs' clique** and thus disregarded them; called asks with concerns hatemail; deflecting responsibility onto minors if they saw or were interacting with her content; said that people who had concerns about her interactions with minors should just block if they dont like it; being extremely aggressive about people coming up to her with concerns in general; saying that people getting on her ass for the whole magowhore saga was breaking her stride/lamenting about how all this had to happen right as she thought she was finally getting somewhere

and, while not opal saying these next things specifically, i thought these were notable enough to mention about that servers culture: there were people around her advising her to not say anything publicly and to just lie low and wait until this whole thing blew over because people would accuse her of deflecting responsibility if she just said it was magolors fault again, and people called anyone who came up to her with concerns "purity culture nuts" and that they needed to stop infantizing minors

and of course, we cant forget about the stuff in the document not concerning the magowhore saga, like talking about kinks in front of minors or knowing minors were reading/seeing suggestive stuff and letting it happen, as well occasionally talking to minors about suggestive things directly. and her knowing that there were minors in the server, some people who she was speaking to were minors, and people in the community were uncomfortable with her behavior around minors

*yeah i know magolor is her headspace buddy or something of the sort. still not remotely okay to effectively put your legs up about the whole affair because its not Really you doing it

**i got shittalked in this server too btw (by blue-jester and one other person) because ppl assumed i was part of purrs' clique. which, rude i havent spoken to or interacted with them in like 6 months. no clue why people are so rabid about purrs all the time.

with all that said, my point here is that i do not believe it was out of line in the slightest to believe that opal would not have listened to or taken peoples concerns seriously if asked directly, considering her stubbornness and aggressiveness about the situation for so long. i considered this behavior and her unwillingness to change or do whats appropriate as guilt and maliciousness by aggressive inaction, and her aggressiveness on the topic in general led me to believe she was going to continue this behavior for as long as she could get away with it. i understand why mtthrw thought this warranted a callout and needed more eyes on it for things to change. thats not to say i dont think they shouldnt have at least tried to settle this with the involved people in private beforehand, but i think people have downplayed what opal did (or at the very least, i havent seen anyone comment on the sheer extent of her stubbornness regarding this like above) in favor of getting up in arms against mtthrw for calling opal a groomer when they arent. which again, yeah yeah i know its totally fair to get upset at them for that + the leaking minors names thing, but the thing thats baffling me here is that i keep hearing people say mtthrw wanted minors to be hurt by making that doc. i think this was a callout post made with good intentions--mtthrws openness with hearing out and taking suggestions and concerns with the doc when i initially came up to them about it said a lot--but handled rather badly and needing a lot more peer review before being posted publicly.

thats really my view on this.

also for the record, since some people think this conflict is a "we need to protect the pure teenages who cant handle hearing the word 'penis' uwu" issue, its not. im not an idiot, i know people get into all that stuff before theyre properly of age all the time. its practically a teenager rite of passage, frankly id be more surprised if they didnt get into that somehow. my issue has always, always been concerns with minors and adults engaging in suggestive talk in the same space. i literally could not give less of a shit if it were two 15 or 16 year olds talking about sex together in a server of only minors. opal is a college graduate, 21+. the minors interacting with her were 15-17. the adults in that server didnt groom them, but acceptance of that behavior leaves those minors wide-open to being okay with similar scenarios with people who don't have good intentions in the future.

i myself used to consume nsfw content as young as 15. coincidently, i was also a hardcore proshipper and impressionable kid at this time, who thought they knew what they were doing and always had all the answers. i wasnt groomed or anything, but those experiences affected me. i interacted with adults in suggestive and inappropriate ways looking back at it, just like this situation. my former experiences (and the fact that some stuff the adults in that server said, such deflecting responsibility onto minors even if theyre in the same convo as adults, and calling anyone who disagreed with them purity culture nuts, closely reflects some proshipper arguments) led me to jump the gun on believing there was malicious intent from the adults in that server. so again, im sorry and take full responsibility for being so rash in my actions. i sincerely hope all involved parties learn from this and be better in the future, including myself. i've never wanted minors to be hurt from this. to people in my own discord server, i hope that my own rules regarding suggestive talk/content, even despite my server already being 17+ on its own, show that this is a topic ive always cared about and taken seriously. i do not want people to make the same mistakes i did

as ive said before, theres a line in which minors take responsibility for consuming this content. if a kid purposely lies about their age to get access to 18+ material, that's on them. if a kid is openly engaging in suggestive and innappropiate talks with adults, even as a joke, thats on the adults.

by the way, on the point of accidently hurting minors, would anyone mind filling me in on why i keep hearing people say minors will get harassed from this? i talked to like 5 people about it and literally no one had a clue. as far as i know, the two sides on this issue are "the minors were victims and the adults were at fault" and "the minors did nothing wrong because they chose to interact with the material", neither of which warrant any grievances against the minors involved. like /gen /srs if anyone knows fill me in because i am lost on why in the world people would attack the affected party

[beawritingbooks]

Hi, i'm the anon who "attacked" you for your Ronance post.

First of all, I want to say sorry for the way I talked to you. I'll admit I was a little rude.

But you know, it's not really good to find a negative post about your ship, put in the main tag of your ship, where you are supposed to find good posts about that ship, and people who loves it too, just like you.

Also, I want to clarify that I haven't read your post, but from the beginning words, I could tell it was a negative Ronance post.

Anyway, I'm glad you decided to tag your posts correctly.

And in the future, if things like this should happen again, I will try to be more polite.

I appreciate your apology.

Here's the thing, and please stick it out through this whole post. I promise that I am not trying to "attack" you, either, but I would appreciate being heard out.

Did it ever occur to you that I did not know that there was such a thing as putting "anti-[ship name]" on posts like that?

I have been in fandoms for many years, but that does not mean that I know every piece of fandom etiquette that there is.

I answered your original ask the way that I did because I felt the need to defend myself. I'm not a doormat that people can speak to/treat however they want.

I'm behind a screen, but I am still a human being.

Just...next time something like this occurs - whether it be with me or someone else - instead of assuming malice, maybe just assume that the person did not know.

I actually try to approach my character analyses with empathy and care. I never want to hurt anyone's feelings. So, I am sorry that seeing my post tagged wrong ruined your scrolling experience, but I am glad that you protected your peace and did not read it.

And I want to make something very clear, your original ask was not what made me start tagging things correctly. Your way actually made me not want to tag posts the way you wanted me to, because I don't like caving to a bully.

FYI, I don't think you're a bully anymore, I now think that you write with intensity and that makes you forget that you're talking to a real person on the other end of the screen.

That being said, I am glad that you have decided to try to be more polite.

I don't like sorting this out publicly. Ideally, conflict resolution would not be a public spectacle. But, if we are not going to be able to get along moving forward, dude, you gotta block me. I protect my peace, too, and I will just delete your asks, or anyone else's asks, if they keep popping up with people looking to pick a fight.

Be nice to me & I'll be nice to you. It's called a social contract.

[33roda]

Zhongli X Dom!Reader <3

♡ teaching zhongli a little lesson...

♡ tags: humiliation, calling zhongli a slut, reader with cock/strap, cocksucking (reader receiving), choking, pegging, smartass li in the beginning

-----------------------------

"Hey Zhongli, you know how you've been struggling with mora these days?"

"Yes?"

"Well I've got the perfect job opportunity for you!"

Finally, a job! Zhongli'd been bothering half of Liyue with his lack of mora - asking for help paying for his meals, begging his neighbours for house appliances, bathing in public lakes just so he wouldn't pay water bills.. the list just went on and on. "What kind of job, if I may ask?" he leaned down to rest his arms on the table, looking at you with a soothing smile. He wasn't just gonna waltz into any job, no matter how broke he was.

"Ah, of course," you set down your cup of ginger tea, trying to shake away the bitter taste in your mouth. "Well, the Wanwen Bookhouse was looking for someone to take over for Jifang for a few days, so I recommended you!" knowing he'd take the job anyway, you didn't have to encourage him much - all it took was telling him he'd have to discuss mora with Jifang later, and he'd get the job almost immediately.

Days pass, with no negative news - only Zhongli telling you he'd "educated" the customers of the bookstore, nothing too out of the ordinary. However, when Jifang came back from her business trip, she sure had a lot to say about your recommended person. Apparently, he'd disrupt innocent customers just looking to buy books, and ramble to them about Liyue's history for hours and hours on end daily. You could already hear his rambles - How Liyue's been for the past 4,000 years, how it's grown, the wars it's been in and how they've affected it.. And boy, you were gonna teach him how to shut up.

You invited him over with the innocent guise of just having tea and chatting, but you definitely had other plans..

"So, Zhongli," you got up from your seat, walking all the way to the back of his chair. "The boss has been.. complaining," you leaned down to his ear, "apparently, you were disturbing her customers, is that right?"

Feeling his breath hitch at the closeness, he cleared his throat to regain his indifferent attitude. "Disturbing? I was simply educating them. I don't see howggwhh-" he got cut off by you squeezing his cheeks together, slurring his words. Furrowing his eyebrows, he leaned his head back to look at you from behind, and oh man did you look mad.

"Educating them? is that what you call embarrassing me in front of Jifang and her customers?" you shook his face left and right with your grasp on his cheeks, just strong enough to stop him from talking. "I guess we'll need to teach you how to shut up, 'li." you let go of his cheeks, leaving him to catch his breath. "Strip, Zhongli."

"You're.. gonna make me strip because I didn't do well? Is that how society works nowadays?" closing his eyes and letting out a little 'hm', he still got up anyway, no signs of complaint in his body language - if that wasn't evident enough in how he immediately started taking off his coat, still dressed in who knows how many layers. You moved over to sit in his place - you weren't just gonna let this go. You had to enjoy every minute of watching him, going from his vest, to his shirt and tie, and to finally, his bare chest. He was honestly just ripped, and you were gonna make good use of his defined chest - maybe later, though.

Stopping him when he got to unbuckling his belt, you got up, zipping through the house to lead him to your bedroom, probably knocking a few things over in the hall, but that didn't matter - you didn't want this to go slow, you needed to teach him a lesson, and quick. "On your knees, 'li," you shoved him down with your hands, finding it just adorable how he didn't complain - only bit his lip to hold back any smartass remarks. "Aw, is the humiliation getting to you already, pretty boy?" seating yourself on the edge of the bed, you stroked his cheek as gently as you could, before unbuckling your own pants to show him your cock. "You know what you're gonna do, right baby? Gonna choke you on my cock till you can't talk anymore," he gave you little nods, staring at the length in your hand. Even though he wouldn't show it, he couldn't wait to have you in his mouth - and you wasted no time doing that as you guided him to your cock, his mouth eagerly engulfing your tip and tongue licking all over. Bobbing his head, he took as much as he could, humming against you, but that won't do. You needed him to choke on you. Grabbing his head and thrusting into his mouth, you finally heard that pretty gagging sound from his throat, further exciting you to fuck into his cute little face. His warm saliva dribbling everywhere on you and his lips, leaking all the way down to his chest.. the sight almost made you swoon.

Finally pulling him off you, you almost felt bad looking at his pretty face splotched with blush and tears, lips open red and wide with saliva covering the entire bottom half of his face, but Gods, was it hot. "You lubed it up so well, sugar," you said, sounding almost impressed, "guess you're really sorry, hm?" you kicked off your pants completely, ignoring the wet patch near the crotch from his drool. "Don't worry dear, we're almost done with our lesson~ take your pants off for me, will you?"

He wasted no time taking off his pants, laying down on the bed and spreading his toned legs to show you his sweet hole, his stomach muscles contracted and head laying to the side, his hair laid messily next to him. You almost wished you'd kept his pants on and made him cum all over them - just to keep it as a reminder, but you had to take him. "Good boy, learning so much already," you teased the tip of your cock against his hole, "you almost look excited. You're enjoying this, aren't you?" his response being a gasp as he felt you enter him. Why not have a little more fun with it? "Show me how sorry you really are, 'li," you whispered, just loud enough for him to hear you.

"I-I apologi-mmmhhh," he bit his lip, letting out a low groan as he squeezed his eyes shut. You just kept pushing into him, sure he could take all of you, his hole almost like it was made for you - until the base of your cock reached his ass. "I apologizeEee, Y/N -ah," sliding out, you made sure to make him tremble on his words - it was just fucking adorable.

Building up your speed, he could barely manage to let out anything more than moans and little 'sorry's, overshadowed by the sound of you thrusting into his ass, making filthy smacking sounds. "I can't hear you over the sound of your ass, baby," you said between gasps, "Say it louder, you fucking slut."

It was dirty of you - teasing him like that knowing you found his spot. "imsorryimsorryimsoryAHHHMMF" was just music to your ears, slamming into the same spot over and over, eventually making him unable to let out a single word without having a moan in between - not like you cared anymore. You wanted to make him cum untouched, humiliate him just like he embarrassed you.

Twitching under you, he frantically grabbed onto the bedsheets. "I-I'm gon-" - and he spurt out his load, letting out such beautiful guttural moans, you would've recorded them if you could. It was impressive how much there was, honestly. You couldn't help but let out a little laugh before slowly sliding out of him and smacking his ass, admiring his ass and chest blushing red. Catching his breath, he looked down at you, lips parted as if to say something - but he couldn't.

You put your thumb to his lips. "You talk too much, Zhongli," you laughed. "Has no one ever taught you to shut that pretty mouth of yours?"

wc: 1.4k . not proofread

[bonny-kookoo]

Jimin: sacrifice to gain

In which Jimin's secret is revealed, to help clear up the mess created.

Tags/Warnings: injustice against hybrids/Unjustified negative opinions on hybrids, angst, tae being stubborn, yoongi being stubborn, it's a bit of a mess

Works belonging to this AU can be found under the tag #puppy love.

...♡...♡...♡...♡...♡...♡...♡...♡...♡...♡...♡...♡...♡...♡...

The meeting feels more like a scolding really; especially towards Taehyung and even Yoongi, considering they're the main part of the mess currently going on. They're all supposed to soon be filming a small docu series; soop- but with Yoongi and Taehyung not on proper terms, this could prove difficult to handle.

Especially since the company wants not only Jungkook, but also Yoongi to bring his hybrid along. Jimin knows why he's not asked to do so as well- with your record, you're probably not allowed to go.

It's upsetting to him- but he's learned to accept the view people have on you.

"Why can't she simply be on set but not on camera?" Yoongi argues. "Taehyung won't be able to not react to her. The fans will know something's up." He mumbles, as Taehyung rolls his eyes- though he keeps quiet, simply staying slumped in his seat, not wanting to interact much with anybody. The whole situation feels like it's all just against him.

"You'd have to present her to the public at some point anyways." The manager sighs, trying for the third time to reason with the rapper in front of him, who's got his arms crossed defensively. Yoongi is strongly against such a thing; he promised to keep you safe, not put you into harms way.

"Hyung, they'll.. accept it. It worked for me." Jungkook tries, but the scoff that follows from yoongi shows clearly that the older bandmate thinks nothing of his words.

The entire energy in the room is thick- everyone at their limit.

"You've got no reason to hide her." Jimin chimes in softly, carefully slithering his way in to try and diffuse the situation, knowing he's walking on thin ice. "Showing her in a controlled situation is exactly what you promised her you'd do; protecting her." He tries, not looking at anybody as he keeps his eyes on the table in front of him. "If you shelter her too much, she'll just end up fearing everything."

"As if you know." Taehyung suddenly says, eyes twinkling with a challenging glare, thinking he can hit a nerve. "You don't know what it's like to own a hybrid." He attacks, making yoongi ready to fight back- as Jimin swallows.

"Actually, I do." He simply says, making the room quiet.

"You- what?" Namjoon questions. "Sonce when?"

"Last year. Early February." Jimin confesses, running a hand over his face. "Listen, you need to stop this whole bullshit. She's decided she wants to stay with Yoongi from what I can tell. So you-" He looks at Taehyung, who just seems stunned. "-need to start respecting that, if you really care for her." He tells him.

"I didn't want to give her away." He mumbles to himself, as Jimin nods.

"If you can't provide what's needed, you have to find someone who can." He explains softly. "Thats an act of love too." He tells him, and Tarhyung nods, trying to keep his tears at bay as he finally realizes that this really was what it was.

"So.." the manager starts.

"Wait, why are you not scolding Jiminie?" Jungkook questions, as the man shrugs.

"We knew about it." He tells them. "But Jimin didn't want us to tell, so we didn't."

Yoongi sighs after a moment. "Guess it's good for her to meet other hybrids, I guess." He shrugs. "Lets hope you both have yours under control." He chuckles, making Jungkook laugh as he playfully starts defending.

"Good! I'll need both Jungkooks and your paperwork for the hybrids then; just copy them and send them to me, so we've got all legalities covered for the trip."

"Wait- why not Jimin's?" Jin asks suddenly, as the singer in question simply smiles- albeit a hit sadly.

"I'm sorry." The manager tells him, but the singer simply shrugs, getting up as to not get upset over it in front of his bandmates. "If I could I-"

"Its fine. Thanks." He simply says, nodding it all off. "I'll see you all tomorrow." He mumbles, leaving the room and stunned bandmates behind.

"She's a.. special case. Due to her record of biting in the past, the chances of being able to bring her along are slim to none, since she's technically not allowed to roam freely." The manager explains.

"Wait, she's aggressive?" Jin wonders loudly, worried for his bandmate- as Hoseok chimes in.

"Was." He says grimly. "Went through abuse. Got the typical rehabilitation treatment afterwards." That last bit makes everyone turn a bit dark in temper. It's pretty well known that rehabilitation centers don't always use the best techniques. "She never acted aggressively since he got her out. Neither with him, nor me. She's a handful, sure- but not a bad one at all." He explains.

"You met her?" Namjoon asks, gaining a nod from the rapper across from him.

"Regularly. I watch over her when Jiminie can't." He tells them.

"Theres got to be a way to make this work." Jungkook wonders to the manager, who shrugs.

"I can try my best-" He starts, getting up as a clear sign of having finished the meeting. "-but no promises." He says, leaving them all alone.

Wondering how the whole trip will turn out.

[doverstar]

honestly, it was fine to state your headcanon on chrissy’s abuse but the issue comes from the ‘miss me with that’ and the other ‘sassy’ comments you’ve made of that nature whenever stating your opinion. that’s what’s invalidating. that’s what’s actually hurtful to abuse victims. that’s what people mean when they say it makes you come across like you think you headcanons are superior and that you’re better than everyone. you didn’t need to add that last sentence at all, so why did you? genuinely, why did you write ‘miss me with that’.

other people have already explained how your headcanons were misinformed and harmful to people with eds or survivors of narcissistic parents, so i won’t touch on it again. you shouldn’t be writing about topics like narcissism and ed’s if you’re not going to do proper research. seriously, it’s not hard go on tiktok/youtube and search these things and find people willing to share their experiences. you could even write a post on here asking for people’s experiences and you’d quickly see how even someone with a ‘perfect’ life could hate everything and want to disappear. there’s no excuse for ignorance. and don’t write about it if you can’t do it without consideration of the survivors (which i am of both), these little side comments are a major no-no.

and on to your first ‘apology’. you didn’t apologise straight away. this is what you said:

“To the Hellcheer fandom: I took down my opinion post about fic tropes for the ship. Or I tried to. Even though I don't love the backlash almost everyone gets online for saying what they think, I also really don't want to make people feel anything negative about being creative and writing about something we all enjoy. The post was meant in jest but no part of it appears to be taken that way, and I have to assume that's my failure in how it was written. And I probably sounded pretentious, too, which is very not how I ever want to come off. So it's gone now!”

you never said “i’m sorry”. there is no actual apology here. all you did was say that you took the post down because it came to your attention that it had hurt people. you never said the words “i’m sorry that my post was hurtful”. or “i am sorry to the people i hurt”. this wasn’t a real apology. that’s a ‘i’m sorry if your feelings were hurt’ kind of apology. you are 26, you should know how to properly apologise. and this shows that you were well aware of how you come across to others “i probably sounded pretentious”. so, you already know what the issue is! it’s not the tagging, it’s not the headcanons, it’s the way you come across! that’s what you need to work on :)

> can you ask @artist-issues to stop attacking creators on your behalf. or use this opportunity to make a public statement that you don’t condone their actions? or if you do condone it, you can make that clear instead? up to you.

Hi!

So I said miss me with that because I thought it was a humorous way to say I didn't like something. I actually never say miss me with that, online or irl, but I said it there because to me it was funny; I'd seen it on someone else's Narnia post and it made me laugh, so I used it for my own. It was never intended as something sassy or arrogant. I'm sorry it came across that way; I promise that wasn't the tone with which I was writing it.

I didn't mean to talk as though I think my headcanons are better than anyone else's. They're just headcanons. I meant to come across as someone who thinks that way and has reasons why, and believes it strongly. If I came across as though I think other people are less-than for thinking differently, I am really, really sorry about that too. That's not what I meant, that's not how I think.

I'm very sorry to have hurt abuse/ED survivors in any way. I actually have done my research dealing with narcissism, and if you read some of my other posts, you'll see I have a narcissistic sister-in-law who actively tries to make me miserable; I am the villain in her life's story. I actually never denounced the headcanon that Chrissy's mom is narcissistic, and I have done research on EDs due to the fact that I have had two dear friends in my life struggle with them and needed to understand in order to love on them better. I have done research - I just wasn't aware my opinions on a fictional character were insensitive. Now that I know, I am really sorry.

I know what I said in my first post alerting people the post was taken down. It was meant to tell them it was gone, and to let them know I'd become aware of what it might be doing to them. I have since made at least six other apologies, and I know at least one of those says the words I'm sorry, and I've also made one-on-one apologies to those who came to me in private to let me know how my post had affected them. I am sorry. How else can I communicate it so that you feel heard?

I am 26, and I do know how to properly apologize. You're right, the first post didn't communicate I'm sorry with the words I'm sorry. In truth, the first one wasn't meant as an apology right away, it was more meant to let people know I had been made aware of what I'd done and was trying to correct it, and to try and show them that it wasn't my intention to hurt anyone. When several people spoke with me one-on-one, I apologized to them specifically, and when it became clear it was bigger than even that, I quickly made an official apology post, and have apologized more than once to others I interacted with, and expressed my regret to even more people in related asks.

I acknowledge what I did was hurting people, I've said I'm sorry, and I mean it wholeheartedly. My words show that I read back my own writing with a new perspective and realized how it sounded, and let everyone know that I realized how it sounded and that that's not how I want to be.

I will cautiously point out that not everyone's issue with me is my tone. They've communicated with me respectfully and said that it wouldn't have been a problem if it weren't for the tags, or that they understood my headcanons but didn't agree. Your issue with me seems to be my tone, my words, my headcanons, and my tags, so I'll address you independently if that's okay:

I'm sorry my tone has come across as superior; I do not feel that way, I promise, and I do not mean it that way. I'm very, very sorry I hurt any survivors of abuse/EDs and that my posts were insensitive. I'm sorry I didn't phrase things in a way that communicated my real thoughts and feelings clearly enough to you, or that my words came across as rude/arrogant. That's not who I am and I am trying now with renewed energy to make sure it's not how I behave. I'm sorry I didn't tag my headcanons correctly, or that they weren't sensitive enough to the abuse/ED/narcissism topics.

> I understand your frustration, but I am not going to try and tell other people what to say and how to say it. You have every right to talk to me the way you're talking to me, and to say what you think, and I am extending the same courtesy to other people. I'm not going to police what they say or how they say it or whether they say anything at all. That's what I don't condone.

I'm not a fan of infighting and I'm not a fan of unkindness, but I'm not going to tell people what to do. Thank you for asking, though, and thank you for taking the time to let me know what you've been feeling. I appreciate that!

[jjkyaoi]

anyways, since i’m seeing my moots do posts welcoming people from twitter i’m gonna do the same because i’m fishing for clout. follow me right this instant. /j

hi, welcome to tumblr! mostly everything you need to know has been cleared up by everyone else so i don’t really have much i need to ,,, go over, it’s just the same thing you’ve probably heard a thousand times over and i don’t want to repeat it at you like a broken record, so :] welcome to the hellsite, but it’s more tolerable than the other hellsite once you ignore literally. everything about us /j, whwvwjwvwk no but we’re relatively chill! most of the time the only “discourse” we get into is just,,, apologist discourse but it’s mainly just people discussing things than it is actual discourse. (probably. i don’t talk to most people on here besides my silly little group of friends). there’s a couple tags you’d need to use though, if you’re going to be posting a post that’s relatively critical/just critical in general of one character, and it’s basically just a critical tag. like, the one i use the most is literally just “c!__ critical” or “c!__ negativity”, or so on and so forth, because believe it or not, most people don’t want to see critical posts in the feed when they’re just trying to look at content for their face character, and by most people i mean me. it’s literally just me. i don’t really have a lot of rules that i could go over because, once again they’ve probably already been gone over, just be mindful of what you tag because there’s a lot of ways your silly little posts abt block men could get on the side of tumblr that doesn’t . want it there. but i’m sure that’s already been spoken about, yea? we’re all glad your here, survivors of the twitter war, have a fun time and follow me bc i need clout yes this is peer pressuring /j.

anyway, yea, my blog is basically just known for either posting about being a bench trio apologist or posting about being a c!tommy apologist, because yes i’m an inniter (unfortunately 😔), and yes i’ll defend that boys minecraft roleplay character with my life, and that’s literally just what i’m known for. and. also. having very public arguments with my friends through threads where all of my moots have to watch and i’m so sorry that you’re stuck with me u sexy mf’s but in my defense my threads are funny 😔. uh,, what else. i don’t like. c!dream apologists, they make me uncomfortable due to things i’ve been through, so i guess i’m creating a quirky dni, i’m just like all the other kids /j. but no, yea, steer clear from me if you are one 😔 apologies besties.

i think that’s it? have a fun time on tumblr, don’t get eaten alive, and that’s basically all that’s needed

[theblogtini]

Long rant ahead (sorry!) re: Sussexes and the security thing. I absolutely believe they leaked it. If they didn´t back in September it is because it was of no use to them then. I believe they did their “tour” in NY back then. It would have taken the shine of their “great comeback” if at the same time stories about being denied security in the UK were out. You cannot play both victorious and victim at the same time. So they kept that card for whenever they needed attention on themselves and to throw shade at the family again. And I think the last few weeks with Kate’s concert and then her birthday event, it must have driven them up the wall. There was really nothing bad that could have been made out of any of those events (you know how sometimes the press can find a detail to be negative about). It was basically good press for Kate, therefore the Cambridges and by extension the whole family. And now this Andrew thing? Maybe not great for the family but I believe they couldn´t stand not being mentioned for so long. And since he has this book coming out, he must once again play victim of his family. Otherwise why else would people buy it if they were all getting along and with no expectation of “tea”?

And personally, and maybe this is a bit of wishful thinking since I’m sick and tired of this pair, I believe he has received no fucking invitation at all whatsoever. At the mention that his family had been less than gracious towards Meghan and his future children in the interview, they knew exactly what the accusations would focus on: racism. I don´t believe for a second they were surprised by Oprah, but still airing family disagreements was always going to earn his family the racist tag, which wasn´t going to be hard for the british monarchy to obtain anyway. Why on earth would a family want to invite back the pair that mercilessly put them that tag forever. Yes I know, Charles is a father etc etc. But these people have worked for decades to rehabilitate their image after many embarrassments and really bad public image. And now these racism accusations from the public falling on everyone from the queen to William, they know there’s no way to undo them, those comments will keep coming up forever wrt the sussexes and the brf. Even sending one of their lapdogs the day after the interview to make clear neither EII nor Philip had made the racist comments helped, nor Meghan mentioning how kate was a nice person. That´s it, they are all a bunch of white racist snobs in the mind of a lot of people. Maybe not all over the world, maybe not on most brits, but still. People with no former opinion read this the fastest way. Not to mention, the family would be measuring exactly what to say to these two that couldn´t possibly be “reinterpreted” at another interview.

But what would Harry gain from saying ��we weren´t invited”? Their fans wouldn´t be surprised and neither their detractors. They benefit from claiming they want to come back and visit them (despite being horrible to them because M&H are that good you see) but they can´t because they won´t ensure their safety, also implying the family isn´t concerned if anything happens to them, and of course not failing to mention “paps chasing his car” should anyone forget that´s how his mother died (another thing for which his family has been blamed for and H has actively help to bring back).

Sorry this was sooo long. I just don´t believe there’s anything “accidental” about anything these two do. It is all calculated to earn them sympathy press when they can´t release anything positive and constructing about themselves.

I think they likely DID receive invitations. Through all of this the royal family have attempted to remain above the fray, and The Queen especially has tried to keep the "business" side separate from the "family" side. So I believe that even though all of this bullshit is happening The Sussexes were still invited for Christmas and were invited for the Jubilee. But - as with all things - I think that they didn't get their way (security detail, lodging, etc) and so they decided not to come. And they're making a big deal about it so that they can try to get some sympathy before it all kicks off. They know that if the Jubilee celebrations start and they're in the shadows, people will legitimately stop associating them with the royal family and that takes all their shine away. So instead they're going to pull this stunt (threatening to sue the government!!) to garner sympathy so that when they aren't there - by their own choice! - people will say "ugh those poor people, the royal family treats them so terribly."

[karanoid]

about top joe discord

LET ME ADDRESS A FEW POINTS:

There has been many fear and anxiety regardless the top!joe discord I made. I understand how it gives my discord a bad reputation. Somebody has kindly reached out to me to ask me addressing several points, which I’m now gonna clarify:

1. I am racist, I asked why, and they said mostly because of my dismissive behavior to people who called me out for drawing yusuf adorned in gold jewelry which made their friends feel unsafe. So, I am a muslim and was raised in a muslim household and community. I am fucking brown.

I didn’t say it because you don’t need to know that about me. What bothers me is how some people feel the need to come to my inbox informing me “maam yusuf is a religious muslim who prays 5 times a day and do all the supplementary prayers all while he drinks alcohol and fuck nicky in the dailies, he wouldnt be wearing gold maam no maam.” as if I didn’t know any better. so please, now don’t do that. If you care so much about the littlest details like wearing gold then you’ll also call out yusuf because he draws living beings and drinks champagne. yes it’s true muslim men are forbidden from wearing gold AND silk but let’s not forget, nothing in the comic and movies imply yusuf has ever been religious. It’s easier to see nicolo as religious because he was a fucking priest. Yusuf was a fucking merchant, it’s easy to see that he’d be less faithful because he would have been travelling and seen many kind of people to broaden his horizons and not contained to a little bubble of hyper religious community. However, let me remind you: whether yusuf AND nicolo are religious or not is entirely UP TO THE AUTHOR/ARTIST. It’s totally fine to make him religious and if you can respect it THATS GREAT, I ALSO LIKE HIM THAT WAY, but please remember it’s not even canon and hey sometimes I just draw things because I like the aesthetics. Also please, do not harass writers for getting a thing or two incorrect, even white people cannot get christianity correct, even between two muslims could be a disagreement whether this fic’s yusuf is problematic or not. I wouldn’t even expect anything more and THAT’S OKAY. Just don’t be an ass to muslims of color in real life and don’t fall into the believe that it’s a religion of violence. you can say that greg made him that way bc he knew nothing better but hey, I have no problem with that. again, it’s fine to make him religious, I’d be delighted but it’s ALSO fine to make him not religious.

2. I think that people only write Top!Nicky out of political correctness. OKAY. I apologize for this. I thought like this because I have accounts telling me that they were pressured into writing top!nicky or they wanted more readerships so I make a BIG assumption. I realized this is only a small part of switch and top!nicky fics and the big bulk of this must be out of genuine care. So yeah, I apologize for thinking that people only write top!nicky out of political correctness. I think writers should be allowed to write whatever they want. Yes this includes top!Nicky. And in whatever kinks they want it. However, this still doesn’t change that the discourses do scare people away from writing top!joe. Write top!nicky however you want, but stop vague-blogging about top!joe. racism isn’t inherent to top!joe and you can always remind people to be mindful with their writings but discouraging people from writing top!joe is not the solution. 

3. Top!joe is racist and people in the discord are racist. Okay, I am gonna touch several aspects why top!joe discord is considered racist: (1) because I don’t like to switch them, therefore I am racist. Sorry that’s not how it works. I have a clear preference and that’s just how I roll. Besides, a lot of people in the discord (including me) think either they switch (because they are 900 yo) or joe just doesn’t like bottoming. I’m not the kind of people who refers to reality for fiction I consume but people who prefer to top or to bottom exist (2) i want to be away from accountability and responsibility. Nope. The reason I made it is because I wanted to gather people with same interest as mine. 

4. I paint Yusuf as aggressive and the whole discord like him being an aggressive top. I think this is the only reason why the discord is seen in a negative light. Because wow what a coincidence that someone vagueblogged my discord at the day I celebrated about Nicky suggesting 20 years and wrote a post about how Joe is allowed to be angry. And beside someone made the WRONG assumption that we are focusing on Joe’s anger and violence (what). Okay, I don’t know how to break this down. But I will try. First, yes I was overjoyed at the news. Because I’m one of the people that do not like feral!nicky headcanon. I liked it at first bc it was funny but then it was twisted into Nicky being cold. So I don’t like it (lol), I still like it though but like I don’t seriously think that way. However, I never liked the idea that Nicky suggested higher than Joe. Because then his character just doesn’t click with me, there was a cognitive dissonance for me because joe clearly says nicky’s heart overflows kindness, you can see nicky as a medic in the credit montage. Also, from their body language and from the way the movie set em up, I think Joe is the one who suggested higher and I am glad to be proven right. Second, I did write a post about how Joe is allowed to be angry at Booker. People agreed with me, so I was not alone. But the reason I wrote that post is not because I wanted to paint yusuf as aggressive, but because I’m tired at people who think Joe shouldn’t display any negative emotions. I think it’s out of character. I do NOT think Joe is aggressive. That is NOT his wholeass personality. If you looked at my tog art tag, never once I portrayed Joe as anything aggressive. If I do, please show me. Third, people are conflating this with my post where I reblogged with a comment that implies aggressive Joe isn’t racism. Okay in this, the context is IN BED. It’s Joe being aggressive in BED. It’s literally BED ROLES AND FANTASY. I don’t even have a particular scenario in my head when I reblogged that, the original post clearly refers to bed roles with manhandling and kinks etc. like, why would you spank someone in public? Lastly, about the discord, NOPE, most people in the discord agree that Joe is either a GENTLE DOM or SERVICE TOP. But in my opinion, if someone likes Joe as an aggressive top (again, bed roles baby) I really don’t think it’s racism. It’s just... projection? 

anyway, back to joe’s emotions, these are posts from a moroccan man (paragraph #7) and a brown woman whose posts I agree with. Let’s be real, people of color are expected to shut up in favor of white people’s fragile feelings.

Now, about racism in fandom. I understand the concern because muslim men are painted as violent and aggressive. You know what I will never forgive those radicals for taking away innocents lives and to leave a lasting damage in how muslims are perceived in the west. However, you have to keep in mind, Joe in the movie is far from being stereotyped. I mean, Gina and Marwan practically greenlit him? Now, you might have concerns that writers are gonna turn him into a walking stereotype which is... okay, I understand that concern. But the solution is to communicate this ‘hey I think you make him too stereotypical in this etc etc’ not “write more top!nicky AND shame top!joe” because again, top!joe is not inherently racist.

also some people mentioned that they hope I recognize racial bias in the ship. dude, that goes without saying, all aspects of your life will be influenced by racial biases. however, this kind of thing is not specific to fandom/shipping. Like I said I’m fucking brown, friends and families with facial features that cater to white expectation are treated better. I did say at the bottom of this post, yeah I did notice why it’s always a brown character who’s always openly mad. And that’s in itself a form of racial bias. Racial biases affect everyone, white or POC, it doesn’t matter. But I got an issue with how people think this is racism. like how convenient, if by falling to racial biases mean you are a racist then what about those white people who created this racial biases in the first place? and I noticed the persons who got the audacity to cry about everything in this fandom is white?? I mean okay, they don’t know what I am, but not everyone is comfortable with sharing their private information like ethnic group, faith, etc. what if they really don’t want to share it? Because like you said, racial bias, whether good or bad will affect me. Now, I don’t know what white people are feeling, I’m not white. However, based on my interactions with them. We’re all just people sharing same interest, it could be they fall into racial biases, but all we shared about are just regular HCs. Even people making a conscious effort to combat racial bias still in essence fall for racial bias. You just cannot escape it.

According to this post, fandom assumes that the bottom is the proxy of writers, I don’t think this is applicable to everyone but let’s just say it’s true and people tend to write about their projection better so I’m gonna assume the racism part comes from the fact that..yeah I do think the bottom usually gets more fleshed out as a result of them being the writers proxy, so somebody posted this in the discord which I agree because yes I do think there’s a lack about yusuf’s background especially when it comes to crusade era:

but since I know most writers aren’t muslims, to me it’s not so much about racism but they simply know nothing about it, and not always out of ignorance either but in this climate, if you get a thing or two wrong you’d get harassed. so *shrugs* I understand the reluctancy. But here’s the thing, this is not about top/bottom issue but because most of the fandom are white so they have more freedom in writing the white character. Anyway, plenty of people have projected themselves into yusuf already, the whole “top/bottom” thing in this fandom is not even a thing. Yes, some writers project on the bottom so if you prefer bottom!joe that’s fine, somebody in the discord is doing a research and it turned out top!joe wasn’t even a CLEAR majority in JULY. So clearly they got their share already?

so please, let’s stop with the vitriol. if people are preferring top!joe it’s clearly because of different preferences. it’s not that deep. it’s the same way with how some people are preferring top!nicky. But we’re being driven out based on a hypothetical scenarios? like what do you want? for us to cease existing??? don’t be ridiculous.

I know people won’t listen to me. So this is my suggestion: LETS JUST IGNORE THINGS YOU DON’T LIKE. LET’S ALL JUST AGREE TO DISAGREE. 

[taeslovehandles]

I never meant to target you and I'm sorry you felt that way. You properly tag everything and adhere to the "don't like, don't read" rule. I don't follow you nor you follow, because we simply don't vibe together and that's okay.

But there are posts that are on the more "innocent" side that do represent fat people as a joke and it's like they don't even realize it because it's something so well ingrained in our fatphobic society.

For example, all the characters are having fun except the fat one or referring to someone as "twice his size" (like... If they want to say he's huge, they should just say it, not imply that there's a "right size" for someone to be).

I don't think authors should censor themselves, just acknowledge the role they play in how fat characters are perceived by the community they write for.

-🍓

First of all, since you obviously haven’t blocked me, you could have come to me via direct message. This is not a topic that needs to be brought out into the public eye even more than it already is. I have worked with anons before, I would have been the last person to reveal who you are. You could have made a trash account to message me in dm’s, but since you didn’t, I will reply to you here.

I want to make one thing clear. This will be my last response on the topic. If you do not like me as a member of the community please use the block button and filter me out, because I will stay. I have many friends here, and know that many people enjoy my content. Just because a small handful of people don’t appreciate dark themes in fiction, the contents of which they can easily protect themselves from, won’t make me falter.

Now, I want to debunk this ask because your ‘apology’ actually made me very upset.

I know you don’t mean it when you say you are sorry because you’re backpedaling on what you’ve told your friends and it really rubs me the wrong way. You could have owned up to your mistakes and apologized sincerely like others had but you continue to play victim and excuse your behaviour with tales of your own trauma, projecting your own insecurities onto my blog and thus hating me.

I know for a fact that you despise my blog, especially my writing, because you do not like how “obviously skinny people write about weight gain.”

Honey.

I couldn’t be any further from skinny.

I don’t mind sharing my actual weight, which has actually gotten worse due to COVID. I weigh 490lbs. I am morbidly obese. I have always been morbidly obese. For you to come and be “nitpicky” about a genre you don’t even enjoy? Why are you even reading my fics then?

The way I write about obese people, their struggles with literally everything… that comes from real life experience. I write this to share embarrassing and exhausting daily life tasks I personally struggle with.

A skinny person would never write some of the stuff I do, because they simply don’t know. They don’t know how scary it is to hear the line “we are going to a restaurant.” They don’t know how scary it is to go into that new restaurant, scan the chairs and think “Shit, am I gonna fit? Is the chair gonna creak? Is there enough space for the next table? What if I won’t fit?” A thin person doesn’t have to think this way.

And, let me tell you something else. Yes, I agree. The world is fatphobic.

In one of my recent posts I talked about movies and shows where they make fun of fat people because I hate it. Because it is REAL LIFE. And I am all for the body positivity movement and I do believe that all bodies are beautiful, because they are.

You do not know me personally.

And that leads to my next point. If you personally have issues with the phrase “twice my size”, then that is on you. And guess what? I cannot count how often I’ve heard lines like that my whole life.

“Oh wow two people would fit in one of your pant legs.”

“Wow, you are so fat, I could use your pants as a tent.”

So trust me, I know. I KNOW. But anon, this is the important part for me. Everyone processes trauma differently.

Inked ch3? Or literally any story I have written with a fat character being forced, insulted and talked down to like they’re dumb? That’s what I have been living with my entire life. Most of these stories, some obviously more extreme than how I had experienced them since it’s fiction, have been recordings of trauma I have went through.

My own dad force fed me. Forced me to eat food and gain weight. My first boyfriend was a feeder that manipulated me into gaining more weight and took measurements. Called me pig names and abused me. Hit me, manipulated me into having s** with him and then let all of his fantasies out on me.

I don’t make this shit up. I hate my brain for being so twisted now, that I actually find it hot and arousing. It’s weird. I know, but that’s how it is.

I’ve also never had friends in school. Not even kindergarten. Why? Because my “fat incased body could spread like a virus.” I was being bullied like JK was in Pondus.

I had hot water thrown at me, got glue put on my seats and hair, had my hair ripped out and even got a cigarette burn mark on my arm. Just because I was fat. Just because of how my body was shaped.

I was strangled and locked into a small locker for a night. I was almost killed for running away from my abusive dad from his car and had to listen to things like, “You are going to die when you are 30. No one will ever love you and your body.” That I have trust issues now and am paranoid about everything and everyone.

Those dark stories. I use those dark stories to try to work through my trauma. And yes, it may be absurd to you. It may disgust you, what I write. But sadly, most of it? Most of it really happened to me. To me and other people I’ve talked to as a friend or seen online. Most of what I write will be dark because the human species is made up of terrible creatures.

Fatphobia is an important topic, and I am happy the media has been slowly getting better about it, that people accept us more. But my writing is how I work with my trauma. If I can make fictional characters feel the same things I had to feel, that makes me feel better.

And I’m not hurting anyone with it. So how is it wrong?

I do not support any of this behaviour in real life. I never bullied anyone, I always try to speak up for my friends and tell people if they are being assholes. Because I hate them too and it makes me angry when good people get shit when they do nothing but breathe.

And how @pudgecuddles already said. I don't need you to advocate for body positivity and all that shit when you go out of your way to bully someone that may have experienced the same shit you have. I do not know you or what you went through in your life, but I am sorry. I’m sorry you feel like my stories aren’t okay to write, but this is how I work on my trauma and I need you to respect that.

I’ve said this before. We don’t have to be friends, or even talk to each other.

Just be neutral.

Block me. Filter me out. Pretend I don't exist. But, whatever you do, don’t make posts that call me out while making it obvious you’re talking about me, with the cover that you are advocating against fatphobia. That’s got a name. Cyber-bullying.

Have you hurt me with those posts? Yes you have, but I’ve never wanted bad blood. As you may have noticed, it wasn’t me that made a post. It was my good friend. Because I told her how exhausting it was and she knew about the posts back then.

I have a good idea of who you are.

I remember you.

But I kept my mouth shut. Because this community is my home and the last thing I wanted was for the people who like both of our types of content to feel like they have to choose sides.

In the end, we all rub one out to fat gay boys in a band. No user is better than the rest, and if there are topics you do not enjoy, there is a button for it. No need to drag everyone into it with posts. It’s exhausting and irritating.

Now, I do not accept your apology because you lied to me and I also do not feel like you meant it sincerely knowing what I know now after reading some dm’s. But I also won’t sit here and start shit.

This is my last post about this.

Please block me and enjoy the content you do like.

Nonetheless, I hope you have a nice day and a lovely weekend. Whatever you are experiencing or going through, I hope it gets better. Because even if you hate me personally for creating content you do not support, I’d say that I am a really friendly and nice person.

I do not believe that anyone deserves to be bullied like that and talked down in official posts. It happened before with a friend of mine and you probably remember that I did speak up about it.... But apparently no one learned from it. I really hope this time you do.

Insult me and shit talk me all you want in dm’s, but don’t do it publicly. No one deserves that kind of hate or passive aggressiveness. No one. Since you sound like someone that went through a lot of shit too, you should know better. You should know how it feels to be bullied and what damage it can cause.

I’m already depressed enough and I have bad lows. Let me write my erotica and just enjoy it? That’s all I want? I am a part of this community just like you were. You leaving because you did not like my content, is not my problem. If you cannot block me or ignore it and go so far as to read them and then rant about them negatively, what do you want me to do? I won’t leave the scene just because you don’t like me.

So, you either trash talk me in dm’s from now on so that I do not see it, or you block me. The latter of which would be the more mature thing to do. The more humane thing to do. Because talking behind someone’s back is just as bad.

Again, I don’t know why you felt like it was necessary to send me an ask with lies in it when I got screenshot proof of something else you have said/issues with, so don’t backpedal on me. I know Hun. I know already.

At least stick to what you said and actually apologize or, if you can’t, just block me.

But this ask? This ask just upset me.

Have a nice day.

p.s: The fact that this even needs to be talked about is so absurd and ridiculous to me. The whole thing is a petty party in my eyes that isn't even worth anyone's time? Do people on here really not have any other issues right now or am I in the wrong movie?

[seoulnotes]

An Endless Summer — jjk

S Y N O P S I S | Jeon Jungkook decided to road trip across Europe—with the money his father had sent him overseas with so he could fix his act. Then maybe, might have picked up a lost and penniless girl at a gas station in London and proceeded to road trip with her across Europe cause why the heck not?

P A I R I N G | Jeon Jungkook, reader (y/n)

G E N R E | fluff, some angst (minuscule), romance, inexplicit ~smut~ (smut nonetheless, you’ve been warned) — road trip au ; NC-17

W A R N I N G S | mild cursing

W O R D C O U N T | 19.7k (aka, the longest one ever)

Seoul, South Korea

Jeon Jungkook would've played the perfect part for a drama. He would've set a flawless example of a rich, young heir gone wild if it hadn’t been such a negative title.

Jungkook was the type of man to live life by the second and enjoy every last drop of it. There were no such things as planning ahead for him, not even a week ahead. He partied till he saw the sun barely peeking over the horizon, drank as much alcohol his system could handle, at least before blacking out, and threw money around like it was pocket change. Hell, a couple hundred thousand won to him was pocket change.

Sure, he had his few flings here and there, but it was never too deep. Who would want to be tied down at such a young age?

And oh boy, did the media love to eat this all up before spitting it back out for the rest of the world to see in the worst form possible. The headlines would’ve been enough to give his parents a headache, not to mention nearly stopping his father’s heart every time he saw a new “scandal” involving his son.

Heir Jeon Jungkook with a mysterious woman? –He had been offering to buy her a drink. In fact, she had even rejected his offer for the drink that night. The photo was caught just as he slid the drink to her.

Jeon Jungkook, heir to Jeon Empire, in a bar fight?! –Okay, maybe a few punches were thrown. ‘But the asshole had it coming the moment he threw that insult at me,’ was what Jungkook explained it to his father as. That prompted a cut to one of his credit cards.

You'd think after that, Jungkook would take things down a couple notches. In fact, it was the complete opposite when he decided to take it up a few notches.

The list could’ve gone on with plenty more articles. Sure, he messed around a lot, but he wasn’t as bad as the media portrayed him as. It was clearly exaggerated. Yet, the lifestyle he lived wasn't ideal, at least not the one his father wanted him living in the public eye.

Jungkook liked to call it: simply living it up before he gets tied down to the company.

On the other hand, his father liked to call it: he’s completely out of his mind and needs to fix his act immediately.

And that is exactly why Jungkook is now sitting on the top floor CEO office of the main building of Jeon Empires with his father pacing before him while he, himself, was sitting with a foot casually resting over his knee as he leaned back into the leather seat.

“Jeon Jungkook, when are you going to get your act together?” Another exasperated sigh as the man’s hand went to his temples as if a quick massage would relieve his headache.

The question had Jungkook bringing up a hand to brush his hair back in annoyance. He rolled his eyes, surely his father wouldn’t catch it, or he would be sitting in deeper shit than he was now. Although this retort wasn't any better: “I haven’t done anything! The media blows everything out of proportion!”

The disrespectful tone laced in his tone had his father rubbing a hand down his face with another sigh. Jungkook had pushed his luck too far. “Get your act together. Go home, pack your bags, you’re going overseas to finish the summer and university before returning as a mature young man.”

The words caused Jungkook to perk up in his chair. “I am mature,” he retorted.

Personal grave dug? Check.

“You are not. You are acting like a boy, a child,” his father reached towards the desk behind him and picked up the pile of paper sitting on it. In one swift movement, the pile was dumped on the coffee table in front of Jungkook, spreading out messily for him to see the titles in all their glory.

Those damn articles.

“You are dismissed,” his father’s back was turned to him and all Jungkook could do was stand up, bow promptly, and leave the room. “Your mother will see to it you are packed and ready to leave in two days. I will not be there for your departure.”

It took all Jungkook had in him to not slam the door on the way out. The rage seeping through him almost had him blow a red light on the way home. He had barely managed to stop behind the line for pedestrians leaving a screeching sound in its wake. A sigh left his lips before he hit the wheel with his enclosed fist.

“What the fuck.”

–

And here he was, two days later, standing in the midst of a crowded airport as people buzzed around to make it to their flight while Jungkook wanted to do nothing more than walk as slowly as possible. Like hell, he didn’t even want to board his flight.

“Jungkook-ah,” his mother pulled him into a tight hug before running her hand in circles on his back. “I'll try to talk to your father and ask him to let you come home early.” She gave him a soft smile. She was always by his side to fill the void his father left behind. Though even at times, she scolded him for his reckless behavior, she saw the youth bloom in her son. He wanted to live it, not spend it being tied down to the title of “heir”. He was only twenty-two at the end of the day. “Just try to be a bit more responsible, hm? It's not always best to act irrationally.”

He knew what she had meant. She wanted him to be more mature; to think about the image of his family and company before taking any damaging actions.

The request she tagged on didn’t sit well with Jungkook, but he knew better. This farewell meant it would be a while before he would see his mother again. He nodded, complying with her request. “I'll try.”

“Goodbye, Jungkook-ah,” she patted his back once more before pulling away.

It was a bittersweet goodbye. He walked through those gates not knowing when he would step foot in Korea again. He turned to wave goodbye at his mother before stepping passed to security.

–

“I'm sorry sir, you can't be here.” The woman politely refused as she handed him back his ticket.

This entire trip wasn't going to be well for him. Security was the worst, of course. Now he was being refused into the first-class lounge. “Why not?” The irritation was clear in his voice as he gripped the ticket in hand.

“Sir, your ticket isn’t for first class.” Although she, herself, had slightly questioned the class he was taking judging by the attire the young man had worn. The Rolex watch that peeked through the folded sleeve of his shirt, a white dress shirt, with the first few buttons undone casually, the duffle bag he carried with the Saint Laurent brand name stitched across the leather in their signature ‘YSL’; why was he sitting in economy?

When checking his plane ticket once again, his eyes nearly bulged from their sockets and his jaw dropped wide open.

Economy class. The words were laid on the ticket in clear print. He had known his father to cruelly force him to take an airplane instead of one of the jets they owned, but he had at least expected first class.

It took all the self-control he could muster to not rip up the plane ticket and demand his father for a new one, one for first class.

“Excuse me, one second,” he gave the woman a brief and forced smile, one that meant he was trying his best to remain a decent composed human. He turned around quickly, reaching in his pocket to grab his phone. It was the first number on speed dial.

“Hello, this is Mr. Jeon speaking,” a casual voice answered. If Jungkook wasn't in such a dire situation, he would've noticed his father had switched phones again, and forgot to put his own son as a contact.

“Father, why (the fuck) am I flying in economy?” Jungkook seethed into the phone. He had considered adding the colorful language in the question but made the wise decision not to.

“Why would you need first class?” There was a certain tone behind the man’s opposition; his voice had a certain questionable edge. He was pushing Jungkook on edge as a threat; a threat to keep him in check because if he wasn't, things like this could be regular for him.

“Get me a first-class ticket. I won't be flying in economy,” the last part was seethed in a whisper as he clutched onto the phone.

“Goodbye Jungkook and enjoy your flight,” and with that, his father ended the call. He just ended the first battle and held the flag of victory while Jungkook was forced into a retreat.

His phone rang with a message:

[12:45 PM] Father: You will be taking economy class to the states and making sure it is that flight. If you do not leave on that flight, I will cut all your cards.

Jungkook rolled his eyes at the message almost sure his father wouldn't do that to him. Surely, the next message was enough to end his rebellious thoughts.

His phone rang:

[12:46 PM] Father: Do not doubt me. I will cut them this minute if needed.

Jungkook almost chucked his phone, almost. It only remained in his tight grasp. The phone had a bigger chance of breaking from the pressure of his grip rather than from him throwing it. He shoved his phone in his pocket as he not-so-happily checked the ticket again and made his way to his actual gate, the economy class gate.

For about twelve hours in his flight to London for a layover, Jungkook pitied himself the most on the entire planet. He sat, stuffed in that tiny uncomfortable seat of economy, with whatever asshole wouldn’t stop stretching their legs to hit his seat and an old lady who swore she needed extra arm space so she could read her newspaper, for twelve-fucking-hours.

On the bright side, his father was decent enough to book him a window seat.

The moment Jungkook stepped off the plane, he ran to the nearest ATM to check his credit cards. A sigh of relief passed his lips to realize they were left untouched as his father had promised.

As his mind drifted to the limit on his cards, a plan began forming and slowly, but surely, he found himself at one of those currency exchange booths with a slight smirk forming on his lips.

His father wanted to play hard, but Jungkook wasn't going to be so easily contained.

“Can I get in cash the maximum limit for these?” His English lessons had paid off well when the words came fluently from him. The man behind the booth looked confused as Jungkook pulled the four credit cards from their respective pockets in his wallet.

His cards each had a maximum limit of twenty million won. That amounted to eighty million won in cash and about sixty thousand some Euros. The man looked at Jungkook as if he had just grown three heads in front of him before slowly wiping the expression from his face and pointed toward the ATM again.

“I do not think that is possible here. You can withdraw cash from an ATM if needed. It will be in Euros.”

“Thank you!”

That is how Jungkook ended up with as much money as the ATM had for him to withdraw in a stack sitting with the other stack of cash his father gave him for “safety” in his duffle. He managed to withdraw barely one-fifth of a card. With time on his hands, he skipped about the airport and withdrew the rest of the card bit by bit until he had reached barely his maximum. The others he’ll manage somehow, but it had to be fast before his father found out.

“Can I exchange this?” He was back at the currency exchange booth with the cash his father had given him. The man’s expression was horrified as the stack was dumped on the counter. It remained the same as he counted the Euros in exchange for the cash and handed them over to Jungkook. “Perfect. Thank you,” he placed the money in his duffle. His luggage was sitting in baggage claim by the time he arrived. As he towed his suitcase, he planned his next move.

The plan was simple.

Transfer as much money as he could from his cards to Euros for back up.

Use the cards until his father finds out he isn't in the states.

The backup money will be used; £60,000 some would be enough.

Rent a car, a nice one, and road trip in Europe. (Thank god the border crossings would be no big deal.)

Enjoy his time for the rest of the summer before returning to Korea for the consequences.  

Oh, would Mr. Jeon be so delighted to find out his son is running around in Europe instead of being in the states preparing for another year in University.

Turns out renting a car was tougher than he had thought. As he planned to cross borders, a nice car wasn't an option. That was until he waved an extra couple thousand to convince them for a nice Range Rover.

Jungkook hadn't established where he wanted to go so his first night was spent devising the cities he wanted to visit.

He had three months, let's make it worth it.

London, the United Kingdom

Jungkook soaked in all he could of the nice hotel room because he knew sooner or later, his card would be cut. He had known he wanted to explore the city at least for a bit so he left his luggage at the room and drove off into the city.

The weather was nice to greet him with rain the moment he had arrived. His luck also ran perfect when a beeping sound told him that the tank was almost empty. Great, what company rents cars without giving at least half a tank nonetheless an empty tank.

So, his first outing in London was spent at a gas station, in the rain.

That's where you first met him. In front of a gas station. In the rain.

Jungkook had paid for the gas and was stopped short at the entrance of the gas station by the heavy rain. It wasn't this heavy when he was just in his car. He ran inside the station to see if he could buy an umbrella. Just his luck, he also stopped at one of the farther pumps.

He saw you soaked in the front of the shop and held the open umbrella over your head.

“If this is your way of trying to pick me up for the night, it isn't going to work,” the faint familiar accent in your English had his ears perk up.

“I wasn't trying to pick you up for the night,” he responded in Korean. “It's called being nice,” the rest in English.

Your jaw dropped when you heard the familiar language. Suddenly you felt more secure having heard your native tongue. “You're Korean? You speak Korean?”

“No, I do not,” he responded back in Korean, the sarcasm thick in his voice. He was still holding the umbrella over the both of you, although it was barely enough to cover you both. The backpack on you were carrying was soaked as well as your shoulder from the one-person umbrella. “Are you a local?”

“Far from it.”

“Then what are you doing here? It's a long way from home.” He had no idea why he suddenly took interest in sparking up a conversation with a stranger at a gas station.

“I could ask you the same.” You finally lifted your head and took a look at the stranger who was shielding you from the rain.

“Didn’t answer my question.”

You scoffed and kicked at the cement. “I’m not about to explain my whole reason being here to a complete stranger.”

A hand stuck in front of you. “I’m Jungkook. Not a stranger, now am I?” He gave you a humorous smile.

And for some strange unknown reason, you grabbed his hand and shook it with a small smile. Then for an even stranger unknown reason, you said, “I’m y/n and I guess not.”

Jungkook stood staring at you with the same interest in his eyes. He was waiting.

You sighed, “You wouldn’t want to hear my story anyway. It's long and way too overly boring.” You crossed your arms and watched as the rain continued to fall. The sound of rain hitting the concrete filled the air as you both stayed silent.

“Lucky for you, I have nothing but time on my hands and how boring the story is, is up for interpretation of the listener, isn’t it?” His smile was nice and made you suddenly want to trust the complete stranger. Perhaps it was his easy charming appearance and curious doe eyes or the comfort of hearing the language of your home.

So that ended up being the time you spilled your entire life story to a random stranger who was nice enough to hold an umbrella for a good half hour in the rain for you.

You always wanted to travel and thought for a split second, dropping everything and taking all the money you had with you to a foreign country would be the best idea. You'd only realized how dumb your plan was when you were locked up on an airplane for eleven hours headed to Europe. It wasn't your biggest mistake actually. The city was beautiful, breathtaking even. It had filled your wanderlust so amazingly. Unfortunately, some cab drivers weren't the nicest upon hearing your foreign accent and decided upon themselves to scam you of your money, especially the last cab you took.

Now here you were, lost and having close to no money, practically penniless, at a gas station in London.

“I thought it was a good idea, to be honest, but look where it got me.” You sighed, it felt like the millionth sigh that left your lips ever since you’ve arrived at this city. It hadn't even been a few days in the foreign city before you had been scammed of so much money. You couldn't even afford a plane ticket back, not like you had even planned to from the beginning.

“Look, it stopped raining.” Jungkook shook the umbrella in front of you slightly before shutting it.

Great, your story had been so long that the rain had stopped. “Sorry about that,” you felt your cheeks heat slightly. The embarrassment was evident; you'd taken too long to explain your story to a stranger.

“Come with me. You can stay with me at my hotel until we fix this.” It was an offer.

“We? This isn't your problem, don't worry yourself. I wasn’t looking for sympathy when I told you what happened.” You let out a laugh at his statement while shaking your head. The after-rain smell began to seep into the air.

“Come on. Just one night. I won't make any moves, I promise,” he held his hands up and you chuckled slightly.

You felt a mutual trust for an odd reason and nodded. Maybe it was because he spoke Korean that gave you the trust. You fished for reasons to accept his offer and that was the only reasonable one. Besides, you didn’t really have anywhere to go. “Okay.”

He took the small suitcase from you and put it in the trunk.

“You're not going to try and rob me of all my money, right?” He joked as you approached the passenger side of the car.

“Of course, I definitely am,” you didn't know whether your response with a joke was appropriate. Your worries settled when you heard a chuckle from his side of the car as he opened the fuel door of the car.

“Thank you,” you let out quietly. You weren’t sure if he heard as you opened the passenger side and sat down.

“You’re welcome.” It came just as you shut the door.

–

“Welcome to my humble abode,” Jungkook brought his hands up to the space of the room. The view almost had you floored.

“Are you a millionaire or something?” You sped towards the window before pressing your face against it to get a better look at the city below. The traffic bustled below as people filled the streets in search of a fun night. The nightlife of the city was bright and busy. Looking into the distance of the old city, the buildings were lit up among the Thames and above the buildings, stars lived and shined in the night sky.

“Just have some money saved up and decided to splurge on this trip,” he shrugged as he sat on the couch, pulling his arms behind his head. “You can sleep on the bed if you want. I’ll take the couch.”

Jungkook had no idea what compelled him to hide the fact that it wasn’t just some money saved up. He figured it wasn’t important and definitely not a situation where he needed to be giving any elaborate answers. Nevertheless, it didn’t seem like the right thing to do. You had indeed told him your circumstances.

As tempting as the offer sounded, you still questioned, “Are you sure? I mean, it’s your room, not mine. The couch is good enough.”

“Well, if you insist,” he jumped onto the bed before stretching his legs out with a wide smile. The sudden action almost had your jaw drop, but it was already shown by your wide eyes. A chuckle slipped from him before he sat up. “I’m just joking. You look like you actually need to sleep. Take the bed.” The tone in his voice meant he wasn't joking.

You smiled sheepishly before dropping your bag on the floor. “Why are you trusting me? I'm a complete stranger.” You could ask yourself the same question about him.

He shrugged before shooting you another smile. “You seem like someone worth trusting.”

Silence settled in the room and you finally took notice of the stranger that offered kindness and light to your shitty situation. I mean besides the stolen glances you took at his side profile on the drive to the hotel. From that, you concurred he was deadly handsome–deadly. This time you notice his bright smile close resemblance to a bunny and how his eyes also carry the same feeling when he smiled.

Then you realized that you were staring for too long and words fell from your lips quickly to cover the silence. “Thank you again, by the way,” you said, as you took a seat at the edge of the mattress. “I'll leave by tomorrow.”

“No problem and you can stay longer if you need,” another smile. You were sure so many people could fall for his easy and kind personality.

You nodded your head in appreciation. But you weren’t going to stay.

The night went by easily. He ordered room service for both of you making you wonder how much he had exactly saved up to be spending money like this in Euros, especially if they had been exchanged from wons.

You did end up sleeping in the bed like he had told you to because, by the end of the meal, he was ready to lay onto the couch with his phone in hand. You kneeled by the couch and unzipped your suitcase, picking up a t-shirt and shorts.

“I’ll go take a shower?” You felt as if you were asking permission. Well, you kind of were. It was still his hotel room and you were still the one intruding. Your thump was aimed towards the bathroom.

“Okay,” his eyes never left his phone.

You closed the door behind you and took a deep breath. You really had accepted help from a stranger, and you were in his hotel room. You still wondered if you’d taken the best choice because right now, something about this whole situation screamed stupid to you.

The thought never quite left your mind as you drenched yourself in the hot water, working out the knots in your body. You arrived in the main room with a towel on your neck as you worked to dry your hair.

“Night,” Jungkook reached over to turn the light off in the room. Only the lamp on the nightstand remained on.

You laid underneath the sheets with the will to fight the oncoming sleep as much as possible. Sleeping with your hair wet wasn’t a good thing, but it was nearly impossible when your body grew warm underneath the sheets. Fighting the weight on your eyelids became mission impossible when you fell into the arms of sleep.

–

You were awakened by the smell of breakfast and woke up to Jungkook drinking coffee and a bag of McDonald’s breakfast on the coffee table. He promptly reminded you breakfast was the most important meal of the day before shoving the paper bag your way, even when you refused.

You almost choked on a piece of the heavenly hash brown when Jungkook suggested—

“Come with me.” The statement was promptly followed by your coughing.

“I’m sorry, what?” You patted on your chest in an attempt to help the coughing. Jungkook chuckled and handed you a bottle of water.

“Come on the rest of the trip with me,” he shrugged as if it wasn’t a big deal. “You want to travel right? So, come with me.” He took another sip of his coffee casually as if his offer was nothing. Your eyes grew wide.

He did know that you’d just met yesterday right? That even if you had joined him, you were broke and there was no way you could pay for gas, food, nonetheless, half of a hotel room.

“That’s not possible.” You said whilst shaking your head.

“Why not?”

“First, we literally just met and are practically strangers. Second, with what money? Did you forget the part where I said I don’t have any?”

Jungkook smiled in amusement before countering back, “First, I thought we went over this yesterday. We’re not strangers, we know each other’s names. Second, with the money I have. There’s enough for this trip and my plus one, who will be you.” He had stated as-a-matter-of-factly.

Your jaw nearly dropped. He was offering to pay for your dream trip, but you weren’t that type of person. It wasn’t right. “Well, I can’t just leech off of you so no.”

“Consider it a gift.”

“No,” your answer would never change. Not in a million years. You sat back and crossed your arms with a look telling him you wouldn’t change your mind.

“Fine,” the smile washed from his face slightly. “I’m going to be staying here for a few more days while I sort out some stuff so stay with me for these days and then tell me your final answer.” He said it as if there was no option for you to decide.

As it turned out, there was absolutely no room for you to decide. Even when you had remained headstrong on not staying with him and spending his money, you lost in the end. Jungkook stood up, fists in the air with a victorious smile when you silenced yourself. There was never room to win from the beginning.

“Only these couple of days and you can leave and be on your way to wherever you’re going next,” you pointed a finger at him. You didn’t know why you agreed, you just did.

“You tell me your answer when these couple days are over. Now, let’s get going,” he hopped up from his spot on the couch, tucking his phone into his pocket.

“Where?” You stood up quickly and paused as you remembered the clothes you had on.

Jungkook paused and brought a hand up to raise a pair of sunglasses to his head. “The bank. I need to sort out something. Go wash up first,” he gave you a cheeky smile as he glanced at your state.

Honestly, you knew you looked like hell. After sleeping in a nice bed for the first time since you've landed here, your hair was in a knotted mess atop your head.

“I'll be out in ten,” you grabbed the bag of toiletries from your suitcase and headed towards the bathroom.

–

“It took longer than ten minutes. Do you know how long you kept me waiting dying to explore the city?” You heard a hint of humor in his voice. He slipped the sunglasses down the rim of his nose and he stared at you with a funny face and brows raised.

“How long?”

“Eleven minutes. One minute longer than you said,” he pointed an accusatory finger in your direction after tapping his imaginary watch.

“Oh hush,” you gave him a light shove on his shoulder.

His lips split into a grin as he led you from the room, closing the door behind him. “One minute we could be spending doing something exciting!” He shouted behind him.

The hotel lobby was buzzing with people, excited to dive into the city and you two were a part of the madness as Jungkook grabbed your arm and began tugging you towards the door.

He seemed even more excited to enter the city than you. You noticed the huge grin on his face as he raced towards the front door. You stumbled a few steps from his pace. “Someone seems excited,” you commented with a laugh.

The day consisted of Jungkook driving to various banks across the city and a stream of sorrys and ‘I’ll be back in a few, I promise’ coming from him whenever you arrived at a new bank. You couldn’t be upset though because driving across the city meant you could see everything. No, you weren’t exploring, but you were still amazed with wide eyes watching every place you passed by. It was a preview of what was to come when you would actually go out and explore the city.

It did end up taking up the entire day, but as night fell, Jungkook parked his car in an unfamiliar parking lot. The building in front of the parking lot had lights hanging in the front, stringing across the entrance of the restaurant.

“Where are we?” You asked, but Jungkook only got out from his side and approached yours before you’d realized the situation. His hand pulling open the car door.

“My apology for dragging you around the city today: dinner under the stars,” he bowed his head slightly and held his hand out to which you took. “Well, not exactly under the stars, but it’s outdoors so I guess it counts, right?”

You couldn’t help the laugh that fell from your lips as you allowed him to guide you towards the restaurant.

You ended up with a table outside next to the restaurant walls adorned with twinkling lights streamed along the walls.

“A date?” You didn’t know what compelled you to speak exactly what was on your mind without a second thought, but you cursed yourself under your breath the moment you registered what you asked. It was meant to be a joke, but you realized how bad it sounded when it actually left your lips.

“Only if you want it to be,” Jungkook answered smoothly, pulling out a chair, waiting for you to sit.

You took the chair with that dumb smile on your lips because yes, Jungkook had managed to respond to your comment in the best way possible.

As you both began to skim the menu, the waiter appeared asking for what drinks you’d like. You promptly responded with water while Jungkook asked for a Coke.

“Jungkook, I would have been more than excited if we went to some convenient store to get sandwiches. This place is way too expensive.” He already knew you barely had money, yet he decided to bring you to a restaurant where a Coke costs nearly £4.

“I said it was my apology to you. Therefore, I am paying.”

You couldn’t bring yourself to order much more than a soup and salad combo while Jungkook didn’t hold himself back and ordered a 20-ounce steak.

Really, you were fine with what you had. Jungkook, on the other hand, was not and he had a permanent pout on his face when the server returned with your meal.

“I’m going to be paying for the rest of the trip anyway, so get used to it,” he stuck a piece of steak in his mouth. “I don’t want to see another little bowl of that green stuff again,” he added with a feigned face of disgust as he pointed to your plate.

“Who said I was going on this trip with you? Besides, I can’t use your money like this,” you responded quickly, reminded of the backpack he kept with him while going to all the banks.

“It’s an inheritance from...,” he paused, “my grandfather.”

You left it there not wanting to question why he suddenly had the amount of money. You were still holding your ground on not allowing him to pay; you still had some money, you weren’t completely broke.

You couldn’t even fight to try and pay the bill when the meal was over. Jungkook slipped away to the “bathroom” while you waited for him.

“The bathroom, huh?” You noted while you both walked out of the restaurant.

“I did go!” His hands rose in defense. “I just also happened to pass by the waiter on the way back,” his sentence laced with his sly tone as he smiled widely.

Jungkook still jumped in front of you, quick to open the car door and you didn’t know what to do when he continued to be so damn charming.

–

Admittedly, you never had that amount of fun in your entire life as you did during the week you spent with Jungkook in London. You both did the usual touristy things that everyone did visiting the attractions the city had to offer. Those included visiting the infamous Big Ben, Tower Bridge, and the London Eye.

Yet, out of all the activities the city had to offer to sedate your wanderlust, your favorite was honestly spending late nights chatting at the cafe a block from your hotel that opened late hours with a cup of coffee. Those you did not let Jungkook pay for.

You learned a lot about him in those late-night chats. You learned that he loved to sing and prompted him to sing you a chorus of his favorite song and after constantly bringing it up a few nights in a row, he finally did. He gracefully sang out the chorus of an old favorite and you didn’t know he could become more charming until the first note was sung. You also noticed the way his eyes lit up in a way they never did before while he wasn’t singing as if singing lit up a spark inside him.

You learned he was a big gamer. That when he wasn’t out and about, he could be tied down to his dual-screened desktop, gaming hours on end.

On the same night, Jungkook learned that you sucked at gaming to which he playfully frowned at you. You told him your aim sucked and when you teamed with your other friends, they would always have to carry your ass through the round while you missed every shot you fired at the enemy. That elicited a howling laugh from him and he claimed he had to make you better in the future.

You learned that he became independent at a young age with his father tied to his work. He didn’t easily share his life with others because of the detachment he had. He commented shortly, you were the first person to which he had told that side of him to. He didn’t discuss more than that and you knew not to ask about more than what you were told.

You told him how you were the oldest and your parents relied on you to help your younger siblings when they focused on working. You told him about how you learned to cook and do chores at a young age so you could take better care of your siblings; how you wrote out almost every check from your parents’ accounts to pay for the bills. You told him briefly that when you became legal and decided to travel with money you had saved, your parents disapproved of your plans and no one saw you off at the airport.

Tonight would be his last night in this city before traveling to another. You still didn’t know what you would do after.

“My offer still stands.” He mentioned this every night.

Your brows crinkled in confusion. “I can’t just use you like that and I still can’t comprehend why you would offer something like that to me.”

“y/n, I promise you money is not an issue to me. You aren’t using me if I offer it openly, right?” The corner of his lips tugged into a small smile.

You shook your head lightly. “It just doesn’t feel right.”

Regardless of how much you wanted to take this once in a lifetime offer, it really did not feel right. You stared at the coffee mug between your hands.

“How about I professionally hire you to take photos for me on this trip? Come on, I snuck a glance at your wallpaper. If you take photos like that, it’s worth it,” he suggested.

That was a lie. You only had your phone to take photos, photographer my ass.

At that moment, you got that random feeling of why the hell not and you felt something shift inside you as you mumbled a quiet, “Okay.”

Jungkook’s smile grew as he teasingly responded, “Hm?”

“Okay, I’ll go with you, exclusively as your photographer.” He was grinning from ear to ear. “But you’re going to sleep in the bed tonight. I don’t want a sleep-deprived driver tomorrow.”

And that is how you ended up agreeing to travel around Europe with Jungkook.

—

London en route to Amsterdam

You both woke up the next morning having no idea where the hell to go next. After hours of debate, you managed to roughly mark out destination cities to visit in the next eight weeks leaving a week for each to spend at to explore.

Your plan was to head to Amsterdam first.

—

“You know, I don’t even know your last name, but I decided to travel with you for three months,” you threw out randomly. Your eyes were focused on the passing cars outside of the window.

“Jeon,” he answered simply. You turned your attention back to him, his eyes trained on the road ahead of him and you found yourself staring maybe just a little bit with your chin on your hand.

“So Jeon Jungkook,” your fingers tapped your chin as if in thought. “I think I like the sound of your full name better, Jeon Jungkook.”

“Now it wouldn’t be fair for me to tell you mine and you, not yours.” Not a moment went by when he didn’t want to make the situation light-hearted. His eyes flickered to you for a moment and you shifted your sight somewhere else.

“Mr. Jeon, my last name is y/l/n.” You emphasized his name.

“So, Miss y/l/n,” he mocked in the same tone and the blinker in the car turned on as he changed the lane as per the GPS’s directions. The car was silent again except for the low music playing.

Jungkook began to hum to the song, eventually singing softly and you felt at peace listening to his voice and watching as the landscape changed from cement walls to trees. It was just enough for your eyelids to begin to feel heavy.

Amsterdam, the Netherlands

One pit stop for a few hours and a ton of snacks later, you arrived at a hotel in the heart of the city.

“Shit,” he muttered. The swiping of the credit card only popped up a ‘declined’ on the screen. His father had finally caught on after he’d jumped a city over. He slid the card back into the slot in his wallet. “I’ll pay in cash then,” he responded in English, a grim smile painted on his lips.

You only could stand beside him and watch the transaction. The lady behind the hotel counter almost furrowed her eyebrows. It was rare that someone would pay for a hotel room with cash, but surely, Jungkook reached into the backpack of his and pulled out the amount for the room.

You kept your surprise to yourself. No wonder, the receptionist was confused herself as you watched Jungkook hand over nearly fifteen hundred Euros in cash.

In less than half an hour, you two were making your way to the room, keycard in Jungkook’s hand. The front lock beeped as Jungkook opened the door pulling his suitcase behind him, and held the door open for you to pass through as well.

“Thanks,” you gave a small grateful smile as you rolled your suitcase into the room.

“How ‘bout that?” Jungkook grinned, his free hand gesturing to the two full-sized beds in the main space of the room.

“I would have been fine with a pull out sofa or something,” basically, you didn’t have to book a room with two beds. You remembered how Jungkook specifically left the last hotel that claimed all their rooms with two beds had been booked.

Jungkook only waved away your statement. It would be back and forth again if Jungkook responded. He only laid down dramatically on one of the beds, the sunglasses laying on his forehead falling back as he sighed, “So, what should we do?”

You laid your suitcase down next to the bed adjacent to the one he claimed and threw down your backpack and mirrored his actions. Although you didn’t drive, you had to admit that a seven-hour drive with minimal stops was tiring. After all, you had given yourself the self-proclaimed job of GPS assistant, keeping your eyes on the device and road to make sure Jungkook was going the right way.

A brief silence passed.

A rustle sounded from beside you. You turned your head to the now sitting up Jungkook as he glanced at his watch. “It’s pretty late. Wanna grab dinner and call it a night?” His eyes flitted to you.

“Sounds like a plan,” you rose slowly from the bed. From outside the balcony, a streak of lightning flashed across the hues of the sunset. You admitted internally it was something to behold your eyes… that was until the rumbling thunder followed, and the rain began pouring.

Then Jungkook’s phone cried bloody murder warning of the flash flood warning.

“Room service?” He glanced at you sheepishly.

–

The rain did not let up for the rest of the evening and not for the next day as you both realized when you checked the weather app. However, the weather was nothing compared to your thirst to explore the city waiting outside your hotel room.

Unfortunately, the dull scenery forced your plans to be mostly indoors unlike your ideas of exploring the outdoors with all of Amsterdam’s beautiful bridges, canals, and row houses along with them.

After exploring a few museums including the Van Gogh museum, you had both found yourselves at another cafe just as the sun began to set.

“I guess the cafe rituals at night will continue,” Jungkook pulled a chair out for you.

“I guess it does, but to be fair, I wanted to try the to-die-for desserts they have,” you responded.

That’s how with a simple cup of hot tea, you both spent the following two nights with a different Dutch dessert, talking until the moon was high in the sky, and you both felt tired to the point where it became easy to just mumble out a conversation.

You both became stars drunk on the moonlight.

–

You manage to fill nearly a hundred photos on your phone with all your eyes could catch in the week. Yes, they were almost half of the beautiful bridges, canals, and row houses. Even a simple thing such as a ride on the subway caught your eye enough to snap an Instagram worthy photo.

Your last was deemed as a relaxing day, a less touristy day. You both headed to the Albert Cuypmarkt, a popular street market in the city. Your interest was piqued at the numerous amounts and variety of items the market had to offer. In the middle of the street, your eyes fell onto the most wonderful flower stall. The stall itself nearly grew to life with the vibrant rainbow assortment of flowers.

You didn’t even know your own feet had been gravitating towards the stall. You paused to take a photo, and the owner immediately began to offer flowers your way which you had politely refused.

“Pick your favorite ones,” Jungkook spoke beside you.

“I can’t,” you were conjuring a way to refuse his offer.

“Go ahead, my treat.”

You were beginning to dislike the two words, ‘my treat’. You felt guilt every time he offered anything to be his treat because everything basically was.

You shook your head, glancing at the vibrant bundle of various colored tulips. “We’re leaving tomorrow anyway, where would we put them?”

The stall owner stepped towards Jungkook with the various colored tulips and whispered something to him before handing him the tulips. Before you could interfere, Jungkook had handed over money.

“Thank you,” he smiled brightly, hand outstretched to shake the stall owner’s.

“Your girlfriend was looking at them!” The stall owner exclaimed happily, smiling at you.

Before you could correct his statement, Jungkook spoke. “I saw too,” he gave a wink in your direction.

You returned the smile. You were sure he responded that way for a less complicated answer, but in no way, did his response make you feel your heart speed up a few beats. Although, your mind was definitely still trying to figure out how to respond to Jungkook’s insistence to buy you whatever you laid your eyes on next time.

The stall owner continued a small conversation with Jungkook, asking if he was on a vacation and where he was from. Before long, you both had made your way from the stall further down the street.

“Ah, my arms! This is so heavy, can you hold it?” Before you could respond, the bouquet of beautiful tulips were shoved into your arms to admire. You had to admit, the Netherlands tulips were ones like you never seen before; so vibrant and colorful in your eyes.

“I told you we were going to leave. Where am I going to put them?” You couldn’t help the warm feeling in your chest. “Thank you,” your tone changed to a gentle one and you couldn’t help the smile beginning to form on your lips.

“You’re very welcome, miss y/l/n. I am very delighted you like them,” his arm swung around your shoulder, a casual gesture to him.

Although, it felt like something way more different than a casual gesture to you.

“Besides, we can just buy a book or something so you can dry the flowers or something,” he commented, his hand squeezing your shoulder lightly.

You had to shake your head a bit to retain focus on the conversation and not the weird feeling you had in your chest. “Y-yeah sounds like a plan!”

—

Amsterdam en route to Paris

You know what they say. There was never enough of McDonald’s greasy fries for a long road trip. Okay, no one really said that, but it is the truth. They hit home regardless of where in the world you were.

“So bad for you, but so freaking good!” You exclaimed with your mouth full of fries.

Jungkook reached his hand over to the bag of fast food sitting in your lap to grab a few fries of his own.

“I might have to ban you from picking our driving snacks if you decide to buy ten orders of McDonald’s french fries again,” Jungkook chuckled before tossing the fries into his mouth.

“I think I picked pretty dang good snacks,” you proclaimed, offering another fry to Jungkook.

He leaned over a bit with his mouth open. “Gotta keep both hands on the wheel,” he teased. His fingers danced on the wheel for emphasis.

You reluctantly fed him the fry. It didn’t cross your mind until after you both finished off two more containers of fries that it didn’t feel strange teasingly feeding him fries, but it sounded off to you.

“My hands are tired, you might have to risk a bit of safety to eat some fries if you want,” you placed a container of fries into the cup holder.

You swore that his bottom lip jutted out in the smallest bit of pout before he replied jokingly that you were being unfair and feeding him less so you could eat more of it.

Paris, France

The usual routine of Jungkook asking to book a room for a week after you both spent time arguing at a parking lot about which hotel to pick. You wanted the cheaper one whilst Jungkook insisted he needed a balcony and a view of the Eiffel Tower. He won.

You couldn’t wait, excitement buzzing through your veins, and barely managed to throw your suitcases into the room before your lust to explore took over.

And after a whole day of exploring, you were at another cafe as the sun set, ready to try all the desserts France had to offer.

–

“Don’t you just love it?” You brought your hands up around you and spun with a smile. “The atmosphere, the scenery, everything,” your smile grew in delight.

It would be an utter lie for Jungkook to not include you as part of the beautiful atmosphere around him. Your smile was utterly beautiful and he knew in his trip to Paris, he’d remember your face from every single moment. It was a genuine one; one that was rare for him to see in his life where everyone put on a show for their own gain.

You didn’t know about his wealth, his life, his future inheritances; maybe that’s why he never told you to begin with. It let him be different; he could be someone else without the price tag he seemingly wore every day while he was back home.

“Yeah, it’s beautiful,” and Jungkook had a small smile tugged on to his lips as he shoved his hands into his pocket and followed you. Even though there were crowds of tourists everywhere as you entered a bridge crossing over the Seine, it was still breathtaking.

You moved your way amongst the throng of people and made your way to the railing. “Take a picture for me!” You raised your hands into the air. “And you have to get the tower in the background!”

When a minute passed of you holding the pose, you turned around and grabbed the phone from his hand. A frown settled on your features. “Hey, why are these selfies of you?”

“I think I make quite the picture,” he joked. “Here, scroll further up.”

He had taken a few of you in the pose and you settled with a smile. “You’re forgiven… I guess.”

“You guess? Oh, miss y/l/n, what will I ever do without your forgiveness?” Jungkook had the same joking smile on his face, but when he stared off, you noticed the smile drained from his face.

“What’s wrong?” You reached a hand up to his arm, eyes searching the blank expression on his face. He shook out of the shock and his hand wrapped around yours.

“We’ve got to go,” he stated quickly before his hand had a firm grasp around yours, tugging you across the bridge.

“Wait, where?” You managed to stay close to him as he sped up from a speed walk to a run. That’s when you heard the chaos behind you.

“He’s right there!” A man shouted from behind you, not far back.

“Jungkook, where–,” he pulled you around a corner down a narrow alleyway. You stumbled a bit at the sudden turn. “Where are we going?” You shouted the question. You faintly heard footsteps catching up behind you.

“Why are we even running?” His grip only tightened as he continued running.

The footsteps became fainter and Jungkook turned one more corner before laying flat against the wall.

“Jungk–,” he stopped you, tugging you with him and a hand on your mouth as he shushed you and an arm around your waist. His chest pressed to your back and you craned your head ever so slightly to meet his wide eyes. His pupils were blown wide from the surprise.

At this point, you had no idea whether your heart was beating this fast because you had just ran or because you were pressed so close to Jungkook that you could feel his breathing as his chest rose and fell quickly. In one swift movement, he flipped the both of you, hand still covering your mouth and another hand on your arm.

He applied a small amount of pressure on your arm and his eyes pleaded with you to stay still. He slowly drew his gaze from you to peek over the edge of the building. You noticed his eyes soften from the previous look filled with worry and he drew a long breath before dropping his head in relief. His hand released from your mouth.

His head dropped onto your shoulder and he let out another sigh to which you definitely felt against your skin. You froze.

Within moments, he withdrew his grip from you and slid back.

You tried to push away the blush creeping onto your face and the shock. You willed yourself to forget the sudden moment of closeness and placed your hands on your hips. “What the hell was that? Why were we running? Have you done something?!” Question after question came as you filled your head with the actual situation at hand instead of your stupid heart’s fast pace. You were determined to keep those wandering thoughts away as much as possible.

He pulled at your hand, tugging you along. He wasn’t running anymore, but he was still keeping a steady, fast pace. “Come on, we can’t be here. I’ll explain later.” He tossed his head around to check over his shoulder and continued to do that every couple minutes.

“Will you please tell me what’s going on?” You yanked on his hand in frustration, making him come to a complete stop, and your grip slip from his. “Have you done something?”

A frustrated sigh left his lips and his hand brushed through his hair leaving it disheveled. “It’s complicated.” He was going to eventually tell you everything, but he didn’t know it would be so soon. He didn’t know his father would send men to find him so soon. “Please, can we go back to the hotel first?”

His eyes glanced around you both nervously in every direction possible.

It took you a few seconds to recognize the panic and plead in his eyes before nodding once.

It didn’t even take him a second before he clasped his hand in yours again and began to find his way back to the hotel.

He didn’t let go of your hand the entire way. In fact, his hand seemed only to grip yours tighter as you both weaved through crowds of people and bikers.

You ripped your hand from his grasp the moment you both stepped into the safety of your hotel room. “I followed you back, explain,” your tone was harsh and you couldn’t help your emotions from showing themselves. Your arms crossed over your chest and a permanent frown on your face.

Jungkook sighed and you heard relief, yet some anxiety laced in that sigh. He tugged his hand through his hair, pulling back, and tossed his sunglasses onto the bed.

“Jungkook, what the hell happened back there?” Your voice rose, your hands flying around you as your annoyance rose from him keeping you in the dark.

Another sigh, “Yes, they were looking for me. If they had caught me, I would have been flown back to Korea.”

“Are you a criminal or something?”

“They were my father’s men,” he answered briefly.

“What do you mean?” He was answering your questions in the most terrible way possible. You nearly had the slightest feeling that you had been staying and traveling with some mob boss’s son for nearly three weeks.

“Okay, it’s a long story and I haven’t been the most honest.”

You almost let out a scoff and retorted, ‘no shit Sherlock’, but instead, you replied, “I’ll listen to your story then.” You cautiously took a seat at your claimed bed.

Another sigh before he began to explain exactly how you both, mostly him, ended up in this position. He disclosed every single detail, how he maxed out his credit cards, managed to rent a car for three months, how he was the fucking heir to a multi-billion dollar company in Korea.

“Did you think this lie of your grandfather’s money was going to last long? I didn’t want to question it when I saw you pay for everything in cash. Or the fact that you had that bookbag with you the entire time,” your eyes glanced over the bag over his shoulders.

“Is that why you wanted to book this room in my name?” You remembered that you had agreed to it without question a few days ago.

You didn’t really want an answer from him. “I’m going for a walk. I’ll be back later,” you swung your backpack onto your right shoulder and headed for the door.

He didn’t stop you but watched your disappointed figure walk through the threshold. He didn’t go after you because it had been clear enough that you didn’t want to be followed. Jungkook threw his head down onto the bed.

You didn’t really want to say anything else to him as you allowed yourself to comprehend his situation. Surely, you were reacting with all this anger and disappointment from your point of view. You had been deceived; you didn’t even know who he was.

There was a park nearby the hotel and you spent the rest of your day there until the moon was showing herself again.

You texted Jungkook as the sun began to disappear.

[6:47 PM] y/n: No cafe tonight.

You didn’t spend every living moment together on this trip, but a meeting at a cafe when the sun set had become a ritual.

He didn’t reply.

When you finally digested what he had told you, you found yourself typing into a search engine ‘Jeon Jungkook’ and was shocked to find articles of his life in Korea. Why had you not even been curious and looked him up before?

Heir Jeon Jungkook with a mysterious woman? He chatted with a woman at a nightclub bar with a charming smile on his lips.

Jungkook, heir to Jeon Empires, rumored to be with a b-list actress? His hand on her face as he seemingly kissed her and you felt something weird brewing in your stomach.

Jeon Jungkook, heir to Jeon Empire, in a bar fight?! The blurry photos were of two men throwing punches at each other, the last photo recognizably Jungkook as he swung his fist in the direction of the other man.

Nearly all of them were so-called scandals. You couldn’t help but conclude that his open life in the media was nothing good except causing trouble and being with many, many women.

The Jungkook you knew, however, was the complete opposite. He was full of personality, a positive and bright energy you couldn’t compare to that person the media wrote about. He hadn’t made any advances towards you which made you question his player-type life before.

You couldn’t help yourself as you spent hours with your eyes glued to the phone screen reading article after article. Only when your eyes began to feel hot and tired, you stopped and contemplated whether or not you should return to the hotel room.

You had to; where else would you go?

The moment you walked through the threshold, Jungkook sat up on his bed. “y/n,” he breathed.

“Please, just give me some time,” you whispered quietly. You didn’t know how to describe the way you felt at the moment. Betrayal for pulling a lie that big? You didn’t know if your growing admiration for Jungkook was the reason the lie felt worse than it should.

Jungkook let you settle in for the night without a word. You turned over in the bed, not facing his and you heard him collapse into his bed.

You didn’t sleep much that night. You ran over and over in your head. Could you still stay with him after this?

You managed to fall asleep sometime when the sky turned lighter meaning dawn was breaking through. Maybe after getting a few hours of rest, your eyes were open again and you turned your head slightly to see Jungkook up and on his phone.

He woke up early and waited for you to wake up.

“I understand if you want to leave. I lied to you about me when you told me everything about you. I’ll get you a plane ticket back to Korea if you’d like,” he mumbled the last part quietly, his head bowing a bit lower out of shame.

“I’m not going to say that lying to me this entire time was okay, but I had some time to think. I still want some time to digest this whole situation, but we can still finish this trip if you’d like,” you offered.

Yes, lying to you about his identity wasn’t okay, but you spent the entire night considering his person as a whole rather than the title he had in Korea. This whole explanation you told yourself was even hard for you to put together.

Jeon Jungkook was the heir to a multi-billion dollar company, yes. However, the same Jeon Jungkook also helped a stranger who was broke on the streets in London. He was a kind-hearted person and you couldn’t deny that credit for him.

The same Jeon Jungkook told you about his favorite hobbies and the isolation he felt at home. That wasn’t a lie.

“Can we spend the last couple of days exploring separately?” You proposed the idea. “We hit the good spots already,” you added quickly.

Jungkook nodded quickly. As long as you still want to go finish this trip with me. For the first time in his life, he didn’t feel alone as weird as it sounded. He was used to so many people coming into his life and leaving, people he had trusted.

Friends, ones he made when he was younger, came and went when it was convenient for them, not for him. He learned to keep people at a distance in his life, especially any new friends he made.

Nannies, caretakers, they were hired to take care of him when he was young, but new ones came and went frequently. No one stayed long enough for him to remember their faces when the new one came.

His father took his mother away from him for business-related events and trips, and many there were.

When you hadn’t known he was part of this lavish lifestyle, he felt genuineness for the first time. Yet, when you knew who he was, he still felt it, and it was a foreign feeling.

“Cafe tonight?”

He was pulled from his train of thought. His eyes which had a distance glow in them were present again.

“Y-yeah,” he gave a small smile.

You gave him a small nod of confirmation.

The sky was still beginning to light slowly outside so you decided with a slight weight gone from your shoulders, you could catch just a nip of sleep.

You ended up just exploring a local market and to your surprise, Jungkook slipped money into the front pocket of your bookbag. You tried your best to spend the least, buying only a lunch for yourself and only shopped with your eyes. Even if he had revealed himself to you, you were bound to your word to not use him.

As planned, you met him at the regular cafe you two had been attending for the past half week since you both arrived in Paris.

Jungkook took it to him to wear a hoodie and sunglasses as the sun began to set. He sat at a table inside this time rather than outside.

Awaiting you at the table were two mugs of coffee and a plate with a few sweets.

“What’s with the outfit?” Although you felt an invisible divide between the two of you, you couldn’t help but comment. He was sitting inside and it was nightfall already for God’s sake.

You slid into the chair opposite of him. This meeting didn’t feel warm like all the one previous. It felt like you were meeting an acquaintance rather than the Jungkook you knew.

“Don’t really want to be noticed,” he responded briefly.

“Were you at the hotel the entire day? Are you planning on staying there for the rest of the trip?”

“Don’t really have much of a choice,” he shrugged. He had been more cheerful this morning, but his mood had shifted somewhat throughout the course of the day. The way he responded bit you cold, just slightly.

You shivered on the inside.

“I’m sure you have some questions. You couldn’t have not looked me up,” his tone was unreadable. It was like he was trying hard to be monotone and act like he didn’t care, but he couldn’t quite fake it.

“Yeah, I saw some articles,” you responded truthfully. No point in lying. You stared at the foam atop the coffee in your hand. You gravitated your hand slightly in a circle, watching the coffee swirl and the liquid to settle. Silence surely was settling itself nicely.

“Don’t you have any questions about them?”

His confidence wasn’t present because, at the end of the question, his voice faltered just slightly. He was actually afraid of what you had seen and what you could possibly conjure and conclude from those articles. After all, it wasn’t just words, but pictures, photographs of his face on them to back those words.

And he had an entire day to plant such fear in himself.

You heard the fear in his voice and you felt your heart pain for a quick second. Was he scared of your judgment?

Truth was, he was, but you just didn’t know that. Your judgment of him meant a hell lot.

“Your title doesn’t make you who you are on the inside,” you reached over the table and placed a light hand onto his chest where below his skin and bones was a beating heart. His head dropped, sight set onto your hand and where it was. “Jungkook, I’d be stupid to read articles and judge you just because of them. How can I trust the words of unreputable sources when I know you myself?” You asked softly.

It sounded weird coming from you. You’d only known him for how long? A few weeks? Merely a month?

Regardless, they somehow felt like the right words. You physically knew him for a short amount of time, yet emotionally, you knew each other for more than that. The amount you both disclosed to each other was unfathomable. It was surely not how much you disclosed to anyone else.

In that length, Jungkook lying about his family was incomparable.

Jungkook’s head rose, the corners of his lips rising slowly into a small appreciative smile.

The glow in your chest grew warmer.

–

True to your words, you had explored by yourself for the next few days. Jungkook didn’t step outside of the hotel regardless.

You came back to some room service trays either lying outside of the door or inside of the room and Jungkook scrolling mindlessly through channels on the T.V. or his cell phone.

There were no hard feelings. Just a time of adjustment.

The week in Paris hadn’t been what you expected, but the resolution was worth the sacrifice.

—

Paris en route to Barcelona

“Ten hours?!” Your eyes widened as you looked up from the map on your phone. Jungkook’s head dipped with a slight nod.

“We can take a pit stop at a hotel in between,” he shrugged. “Or just drive the entire ten.” The statement leaving you speechless. “I’m joking. We’ll stop at a hotel somewhere in the middle.”

The trip always began with music. Jungkook tossed you his phone and told you to pick a song to which you obliged happily. He had a wicked playlist.

The engine revving and silence between the two of you were drowned out by music, Jungkook tapping away to the beat on the steering wheel. You, in turn, hummed to the tune.

Somehow the music became a queue of Disney songs, one after another after you claimed you had to listen to Breaking Free. Somehow, Love is an Open Door came on the speakers and suddenly, you were finishing Jungkook’s sandwiches.

The song ended with you both in a fit of laughter as another song began to play. Your Disney karaoke session came to an end after nearly an hour of duets, your horrible solos and in contrast, Jungkook’s beautiful solos.

Suddenly, it grew quiet from the little banter you two had been having just a few seconds earlier.

“You know, I think it would be very easy to fall for someone like you.” You don’t know why you just openly admitted your thoughts, but it felt safe to. The car engine hummed quietly in the background and music played softly.

Jungkook hummed as his eyes trained on to the road ahead. “I’d think the same for you.” He smiled lightly.

“Hm, what makes you say that?” You were surprised by his words. You weren’t exactly the best in relationships and you always said you’d tango as one. What would make Jungkook think the same of you?

Jungkook was silent for a moment as if he was thinking. “Well, for me at least, you’re easy to talk with and have a killer smile,” his smile grew a bit wider at the thought. “You’re the type of person to dream. You still choose to dream even if society and circumstances told you not to.”

You glanced down at your lap as you felt your cheeks warm at his words. He thought those things about you. “A dreamer, huh?”

“Yeah, you came all the way here on the whims of a dream right? I admire that.”

“Yeah, a stupid one,” you mumbled quietly as you took your gaze your hands in your lap.

“It's amazing. I wish I had one like you,” there was nothing but admiration in his voice. “I wish I had that control like you,” he muttered. You thankfully hadn’t caught it.

“What about me?”

“Hmm?” You looked back up at him.

“What makes me an easy person to fall for?”

You pondered for a moment as you gather your thoughts. To be completely honest, Jungkook had a whole list of things going for him. “Well,” your finger tapped your chin. “You’re extremely charming. You can charm anyone very easily. From what I know, you have a good heart and a lovely smile as well.” Then the next line came out and you almost died in embarrassment, “Bonus: you’re extremely handsome.” You wanted to melt away and never come back the moment those words left your lips.

“You think I’m handsome, huh?”

The fact that he chose to point out that one statement in your compliment filled paragraph made you blush deeper.

“Maybe, or maybe I’m not seeing well and you're actually not,” your voice hinted teasingly as you laughed.

“Hey!” He reached a hand over to shove your shoulder lightly, but a chuckle still came from him. “I am one-hundred percent totally deadly handsome.”

“Sure, sure,” the laughter died down and the car grew silent.

“I think you give me more credit than I really take for.” If you’d known the life I lived at home, you’d not think so.

The thought had come out in words accidentally and you craned your gaze towards him. “What? Your life back home?”

Jungkook hadn’t realized the accidental mutter and a rush of panic struck him. “Nothing,” he brought back his casualness and shrugged his shoulders.

“My life was pretty shit,” you thought to fill the silence with your own story. He didn’t want to speak of his. You picked at the edge of your shirt. “Everyone wants to go to university and I just wasn’t the school type you know?”

You glanced at him for a moment and he gave a nod, eyes still on the road. “I know exactly what you mean.” He wasn’t exactly the star student himself.

“I got accepted to one, but I blew it off last minute and decided to take a gap year. My mom pretty much thinks I’m the dumbest person to make this choice,” a sigh left your lips. “Thinking about the break between me and my parents makes me think whether this trip was even worth it.”

“Well, what are you thinking right now?” Jungkook’s eyes flickered to you for a second, worried. He didn't like the thought of you not thinking this trip was worth it, and if you had thought that, you could drop out of it anytime. He definitely did not want that.

“I’m thinking that this was a once in a lifetime chance so I'd be a fool to not think it's worth it,” you revealed. You focused your attention on the blurring trees outside. “What about you?”

“I’m thinking that I’m really grateful you decided to follow your dreams and on top of that, it allowed me to meet this amazing human being sitting next to me.”

—

Massiac, France

You ended up taking a rest with an expected stop in a small French town of Massiac on the way to Barcelona.

By small, you meant like a population with under 2,000 people. You both ended up settling at a guesthouse that offered bed and breakfast.

You didn’t expect much when walking to your room for the night.

“Looks like we’re back to one bed,” Jungkook chuckled.

The bedroom was small, barely having enough space for the queen bed perched in the middle of the room and a small T.V. to be on a small table in the corner. Oddly, there was only a chair in the other corner of the room.

Thankfully, you two had opted to pack a few necessities and clothes to change into your bookbags and left your suitcases in the trunk of the car (out of sight from anyone who peeked into your windows, of course). They would have just been in the way.

“We’ll have to share?” You said sheepishly.

“If you don’t mind,” Jungkook was quick to respond. He pointed his thumb out the door. “I can take shelter in the car for the night.”

You shook your head. “It’s fine.” You saunter over to the bed and took a pillow, placing it in the middle of the bed. “Now we have two beds,” a laugh erupted from you.

It earned a chuckle from Jungkook as well as he shook his head at the idea. “Okay, Miss y/l/n, whatever you say.”

The night ended up being awkward, but you learned Jungkook loved to steal the sheets. You swore you were feeling so damn cold and subconsciously reached a hand over to your side to pull on the sheets to cover you.

Then sometime later, you were cold again, again without sheets. You, once again, reached over to tug the sheets onto you. Along with the sheets, you managed to tug something heavy and very warm next to you. That object shifted a lot.

In your foggy, sleeping mind, you only shuffled yourself over closer to the source of warmth and was even more satisfied when you were met with a cocoon of warmth.

In the morning, you realized the nice and comfortable cocoon of warmth was Jungkook and his arms and he was cuddling with you due to the lack of warmth every time you tugged the sheets away.

You both ran into fits of coughing as you moved away as far as possible upon waking up and meeting each other’s faces.

You awkwardly attempted to ease the situation with, “Remind me to never sleep with you again, you sheet hoger!”

Jungkook, who had settled down himself, diffused the situation in his classic way with a wink towards you.

Barcelona, Spain

Barcelona was a contrast compared to the cities you had yet to visit. The atmosphere made you feel more alive with every breath you took. Not to mention, the beautiful beaches the city had to offer which was a plus.

You had stayed at a hotel that had what you both desired most: a cafe right next door. You also managed to score a hotel that was right on the boardwalk in Barceloneta.

It was amazing. There were performances right outside of your hotel every night.

This night, in particular, there was a musician playing live music near the cafe. Yours and Jungkook’s conversations had settled from the constantly learning new things about each other. Some nights you both just talked about small things like how you liked the tourist sights you both saw today or just showing each other funny memes you saw while scrolling through your social media.

This was good though. It cleared the air from what had happened in Paris.

Suddenly, Jungkook hopped up from his chair across from you.

“Let’s go dance!”

“Hm?” You were taken aback by his words and momentarily, glanced at him.

He grabbed your hand and tugged you to the crowd. “Let’s go dance y/n,” he flashed you a smile. That, that was your favorite smile of his—a bit daring and wild as if he had the best idea in the world but it was not any ordinary idea. It was lovely, really.

You nodded and allowed him to sweep you away. The music was upbeat and you both tried to best to keep up with the crowd, but failed. Many other tourists had been laughing along with you both as they too failed. The atmosphere was warm and beautiful.

Both tourists and locals mixed in a crowd to dance traditional dances. The locals took the time to teach a few moves to the tourists as tourists tried their best to keep up. Guitars played in sync with each other for a few songs. When the song ended, cheers and claps filled the air.

“The next song should be easy to dance with,” a man spoke into the microphone with a slight chuckle and the crowd echoed with laughter. You recognized the song as a slow song with English lyrics. The man sang the slow tune and couples began forming, strangers shyly asking another stranger for a dance.

Jungkook took your hand with a shy smile. “Dance with me.”

You smiled back widely and nodded. “Of course.”

It was a slow dance and Jungkook led, swaying you both to and fro with the beat. Instead of keeping a distance, you danced, fronts almost pressed and you laid on his chest. He pulled away from you and you frowned, but he tugged onto your hand, spinning you. You let out a giggle and he pulled you close again.

Amidst the swaying, you felt drops of water on your arm. “It’s raining.” The drops fell faster and people began to take shelter under various storefronts. The musician, under a roof, continued to play for the only two left dancing—the two of you.

Instead of leaving, you both stayed dancing in the rain. Clothes sticking to your body from being drenched, you danced. Even after the slow song had ended and the musician began to change the song to a more upbeat one.

You felt your ears begin to drown out the music. Both your chests were rising and falling at a rapid pace and you felt Jungkook lean his forehead on to yours.

At this moment, the crowd was gone, no music, just you and Jungkook. What you felt at that exact moment was indescribable. It was the same feeling of comfort, satisfaction, and really delicious and fresh chocolate chip cookies. It felt...good.

It felt like eons had passed when you both found it in you to separate when in reality, the musician was only at the first chorus of the song he began to play when you drowned out the environment around you.

Jungkook flashed you a wide smile, the one where his eyes became crescent moons from his cheeks being squished from his bright smile. His eyes even became happy, the way there was this sheen and shine on them.

It was pretty damn infectious because your mouth broke out in a smile too.

The rest of your week in Barcelona had a different air between you two after that dance. You took note of it and you were damn sure Jungkook knew it too.

Sometimes, your eye would catch on Jungkook doing something and you’d feel your heart glow and warmth bubble inside your chest. If Jungkook caught you, he’d either freeze himself or send you a cheeky wink, then your heart felt like it went into overdrive.

You never felt that kind of feeling before and it led you down a path of confusion. You were becoming more comfortable with Jungkook’s presence. In fact, you loved his presence. This feeling was more than just enjoying someone’s company. The feeling you had whenever something like his arm wrapped around you or his hands holding yours to tug you to something he found cool was something else.

You never truly felt what it was like to fall for someone, but you were almost sure that’s what you were experiencing.

—

Barcelona en route to Provence

He turned his head quickly, glancing in your direction before turning his attention back to the road ahead. His lips curved into a smirk.

“Miss y/l/n, correct me if I'm wrong, but were you staring at me just now?”

He'd caught you, but you hide your embarrassment taking advantage of his adjusted focus on the road. “Well, Mr. Jeon, you were wrong,” the creeping blush on your cheeks giving your words away. You turned your head in the opposite direction.

“I mean there’s nothing wrong with it. I already know I’ve been gifted with this handsome face,” he added in a teasing tone.

Definitely.

“As if,” you faked a scoff.

Silence filled the car and Jungkook was not in any shape or form for the question you asked next. He nearly choked on his own breath.

“Jungkook, have you ever been in love?”

Jungkook literally began to cough. “What makes you ask that?”

You shrug your shoulders casually attempting to play off your question. “Just curious, never felt that before.”

“Actually, I don’t think I really was. Maybe crushes, but never anything serious,” he answered.

For some reason, you felt a wave of sadness hit you briefly and your worst fear: did you have feelings, but he didn’t?

You didn’t realize you began to fall victim to your own thoughts coming at you from every angle before Jungkook waved a hand in front of your face.

“What about you?”

“I wouldn’t really know if I was. If I liked someone, I would question it to no end. It might as well be one of my insecurities,” you let out.

Marseille, Provence, France

Provence, four words, lavender fields in Summer. True, you were coming late, but you definitely made it in time.

You both stayed at the capital of the region, a seaport with amazing hill lands where the city dwelled. You managed to find a small hotel that was near the top of one of the higher locations.

The second day, you were the first one to wake up. You had to go see the lavender fields. It did take two more hours of driving to Sault, France where the Lavender Trail was, but to be completely honest, the excitement you had was something Jungkook couldn’t refuse in a million years. You were practically jumping up and down in your seat the entire time.

You were even more overjoyed you both had made it on the day of the Lavender Festival which a farmers market was being held. Even miles away from the town, you swore you could smell the lavender scent with the warm breeze.

Jungkook, a few hours in the festival, disappeared and reappeared with some lavenders in his hands.

“For you,” he said with that charming smile. “We can press these too.”

“Thank you,” this time you accepted without hesitation.

That day, your camera roll was filled with shades of purple and it was one of your favorite days.

–

“y/n, come with me. I found something amazing last night,” there it was. There was that glint in Jungkook’s eyes that shouted daringly, ‘adventure’. He held out his hand to you which you took.

He led you through a series of stairs that you were pretty sure prohibited to guests at the hotel.

“Are you sure we can be here?”

He shrugged his shoulders. “It’s worth getting into some trouble for,” he smiled.

At the end of the stair climbing was a single door. Jungkook opened the door and guided you to the sound of a bustling city. Wind began to brush past you two, moving your hair in all sorts of directions. Your eyes were met with the sight of the night of a city below.

Jungkook pulled you closer to an edge.

“Come sit with me,” he took a seat near the edge, letting his feet fall over it and worry began to stream through you.

“It’s too high up. We can sit back here,” you took a seat next to him, but made sure to stay a safe foot from the edge.

“Come on, it’s a better experience this way,” he grasped your hand, giving it a slight squeeze.

Here you go, listening to him again. You couldn’t look over the edge exactly because your fragile heart would definitely not let you, but you began to inch forward, squeezing his hand for dear life.

You never let go.

The silence filled the air and you only dangled your feet, looking out onto the sea of lights. “Two weeks left.” A smile curved on your lips and you watched more of the lights turning on and the last bits of the sun disappearing behind the horizon. “Two weeks of crazy adventures.”

“Yeah.”

You turned to him only to see him watching you. “What are you doing? Look at those lights, they're beautiful.” You waved your arm out.

“I'm looking at you,” he said with a cheeky smile, but his voice wasn’t the same teasing tone. His eyes shined and you were trying to conclude what he was thinking of. At that moment, it became really silent, not the normal silence. It was the type of silence where you could feel the environment just pause and only the sound of your heart pounding fast in your chest was heard. You hoped it wasn't too loud for him to notice.

You just stared at him, letting the silence settle comfortably. Then you gave out an awkward laugh. “I'm sure, the lights and the view are a lot better to look at than m-,” you didn't get a chance to finish because before you could say ‘me’, his lips were on yours.

It wasn't one of those super long, passionate kisses; it was short, but it wasn't a peck either. He captured your lips with his and for some reason, you kissed back. For that split second, it felt like one of those kisses that felt like two puzzle pieces fitting together so perfectly. When he finally pulled away, his forehead leaning against yours, he whispered the words, “I like you, y/n. And if I keep falling at the rate I am at the moment, I will fall in love with you.”

There are two reasons people become breathless from a kiss: one, because they'd kiss for ages and ran out of breath and two, where the kiss had literally taken their breath away.

With your chest heaving, you knew this kiss had only made you breathless because of the emotions running through you. It was too short to have made you run out of breath, but rather, your heart had gone into overdrive. Your heart physically couldn’t handle this moment.

Your breaths intermixing with each other, his words mixing with it making this cocktail that made you want more. But the words registered with you and you pulled away from him before you could possibly get caught for more.

He watched you with those innocent doe eyes only telling you he meant it. He truly liked you.

His sudden confession caught you off guard. For the month you've been with Jungkook, you thought of his personality to be naturally flirty. He was handsome and charm was a part of the package.

You weren't going to lie, the times he'd pull you close or the cheeky comments made your heart flutter, but you'd blown them off. He was just flirty by nature, you told yourself. Yet, your stupid self let out, “you’re being serious, right?” You saw almost a crumble in his confident smile.

“Y-yeah?” You had never heard Jungkook stumble on an answer.

You felt the blush creep up your cheeks. “Oh no, I’m sorry. I didn’t mean it to sound that bad. I was just being stupid,” you shook your head with an embarrassed smile.

Jungkook pulled back, hands on both sides of your arms. “Uh, y/n, how do you feel?” His voice was small, grown nervous at your lack of response.

“I kissed back, you know,” oh no, you gave another stupid answer. Your hand had literally went up to smack your forehead. “No, I did it again.”

This time the slightest sigh of relief came from Jungkook as he laughed.

“Okay, I like you, too,” you said sheepishly, recounting how you managed to respond terribly, not once, not twice, but three times. Now you answered in the most naive sounding way possible.

Jungkook chuckled and in the background, a shooting star made its way across the midnight sky.

–

You felt like you were on cloud nine that night, but you felt the opposite the next morning. Morning thoughts were the worst and this morning, they took you like crazy. You began to think about the future. What were you going to do when the trip ended? Sure, having fallen for Jungkook felt so amazing, but you couldn’t face what could happen in the future. It was so undetermined and Jungkook saw you sitting up in your bed with a blank stare on your face.

You felt the weight of the bed shift slightly but didn’t really fall out of your thoughts until Jungkook’s arms wrapped around you and gave you a gentle kiss on your temple.

“Good morning,” he whispered softly, head resting on your shoulder. “What are you thinking so deeply about?”

“What now?” You couldn’t help sounding so God damn blunt about it.

With a sigh, you could tell Jungkook had already breezed through that thought.

“y/n, I just told you how I felt. How about we just hold off on that and enjoy the remaining time? Maybe we can figure it out later?”

Later. That was procrastination. However, you just shrugged and agreed. Putting it off was probably both of you trying to avoid the inevitable.

–

True to your agreement, you both didn’t mention it again. It was constantly peeping over your shoulder, but just like that, you swatted away the thought and focused on your time at Marseille.

—

Provence en route to Venice

The eight-hour trip ahead required another pit stop at a small town, but no one was going to complain. It was another excuse to postpone the trip even just for a day.

Postpone deciding what the hell to do to clean up the fact that after this trip you’d both most likely be left heartbroken in completely different cities.

The night spent in the bed and breakfast, you felt the dread creeping further.

Although you only knew Jungkook for less than two months, it felt like you had known him for a decade.

As you laid, staring at him, the stars shone through the window behind him and you admired the being before you. You let your arms go around his middle and you admired his serene face.

Your eyes traced his nose, jaw, and lips. You thought about how safe you felt at this very moment, limbs tangled together. Your mind wandered to how if you hadn’t decided to go on this trip, what you would have missed out on.

Then you thought, ‘goddamnit Jeon Jungkook, what do I do?’

Venice, Italy

Jungkook was being darn cheeky when he requested a room with only one bed, but you still agreed. It wasn’t like you two haven’t shared a bed before and with your newfound confessions, you didn’t mind it. Not one bit.

To be completely honest, it was hard to not have Jungkook within your touch every second since that day. There was barely a moment when he didn’t clasp his hand in yours or vice versa. He didn’t waste a second where his head could be buried in the crook of your neck and arms wrapped around your waist and you not savoring each minute of it. Maybe it was the looming separation that you knew was coming in a few weeks.

Jungkook, himself, opted to leave his bed empty every night because he swore he was cold and you were the best warm pillow there could be.

It started with him climbing over in the middle of the night swearing he was freezing to death even though it was in the middle of the summer. Then he just completely abandoned his bed every night in Provence for the rest of the week.

“Dibs on the bed. You can have the sofa bed!” You exclaimed quickly, dropping the handle to your suitcase and launching yourself onto the king-sized bed in the middle of the room.

“Dibs on the bed!” Jungkook launched himself next to you bouncing you up slightly.

“Hey! I called it!” You whined, but really, a smile was making its way into your lips.

In seconds, he was on top of you, his fingers dusting over your rib cage and you falling out of breath from laughing constantly.

“Stop, ah!” You squealed, yes, squealed. You swatted his hands away, but his fingers continued their torture on your stomach.

When he finally stopped, his legs were on both sides of you and you were both out of breath from laughing, Jungkook at how funny it was messing with you and you from literally being tortured.

You didn’t realize Jungkook had become silent, his face merely inches from yours. His eyes scanned yours and when you didn’t show any sign of ‘no’, he dipped his head down further. This time, you could feel his breathing, lips right above yours.

You didn’t stop your eyes from dropping from his and then to his lips quickly before locking with his eyes again.

The weird thing was that you both refrained from kissing the entire time after that night. True, skin to skin contact was all you both did, but kissing didn’t occur as much as one would expect from your situation.

Thoughts aside, you reached up to kiss him. What was meant to be a peck became Jungkook’s hands falling around your waist and pulling you closer to him, deepening the kiss ten folds. It didn’t help that your hands magically found their way to his hair, fingers knotting in his locks.

In times like this, you both wondered if it would be okay to go further. Was it wrong to lust for someone you only knew for a few months? Was it wrong to fall into the embrace of your own desires to be closer? To the point of complete contact? Unfortunately, you were too shy to voice it nor make any sign of it. Then again, it was never a loss to be kissing and in each other’s arms for hours on end after being tired from a long drive.

–

Being the tourists you were, you swore on your life you had to visit the Trevi Fountain and make a wish before you had to leave.

Jungkook couldn’t sway you from that regardless of how many gondola rides he offered to take you on.

It was crowded, but with the frame like Jungkook, he was able to maneuver you right to the front through the throngs of people.

“Here,” Jungkook handed you a coin.

“You should make one too,” you reminded, excitement bubbling in you.

Jungkook nodded.

You took your time, closing your eyes and thinking of a good wish, but when you closed your eyes, you really just thought of Jungkook.

You could have wished for anything, happiness, freedom from the chains of family duties you knew were waiting for you when you’d go back, but no, you wished for something completely different.

You wanted deep down to wish that you and Jungkook didn’t end here after the road trip. You wanted to wish this wasn’t going to be the end for you both. That there was more; that the paths your lives crossed here wouldn’t have to branch off inevitably because you lived too differently.

So you did. You wished for it, somewhere deep down, you really hoped this fountain would be powerful enough to actually grant your wish.

When you closed your eyes, you assumed Jungkook was getting ready to make his wish alongside you. Instead, he had watched you. He didn’t need a wish; the miracle that came into his life was you.

So he watched you; eyes scanning over your face, memorizing the moment. He reached into his pocket and pulled out his phone; he wanted to remember this moment. The moment when you looked so beautiful with your eyes closed, hands crossed over your lips, thinking. When Jungkook really looked at you, he always felt whoever was there, whether one person or a hundred, they melted away. They became a blurred background and only you were there in front of him.

So silently, he took a photo.

Really, you’d never knew this photo existed.

He quickly tucked his phone away quickly to make sure to clasp his hands and close his eyes as if he had just wished.

At the end of the day, you both wandered, allowing yourself to put away Google Maps for just a few hours and get lost in the city.

–

On the last night, per your daily dose of cafe talks, you saw Jungkook get a bit tipsy for the first time. Okay, he was like pretty much drunk.

You both decided to have wine at the cafe as a last hurrah in Venice.

You unexpectedly were tipsy as well, giggling constantly at almost anything that happened.

Jungkook was a funny drunk and to be completely honest, you didn’t remember much of that night. It was like spots in your memory.

You remembered Jungkook trying to tell a joke he saw on his phone earlier and attempting to reenact it, tipping back on his chair too far and falling completely over.

You remembered how you tried to take him on a joke-off claiming you had way better jokes than him. When you told your rebuttal joke, it was so bad that Jungkook laughed because it was so ironically not funny.

You remembered the both of you stumbling back to the hotel room barely able to walk in a straight line although you were less drunk than him so he leaned more on you with his arms around your shoulders, being the dead weight he was.

But you didn’t remember how you both were laughing happily until you dropped onto the bed and he pulled you close with his arms, legs still hanging off the bed claiming he never let you go and silence took over.

You both did not remember when Jungkook drunkenly proclaimed how much he had loved you and how sure he was about it. How he wanted to shout so loud to the gods that were listening.

You both did not remember when he proclaimed every single thing that he admired about you and that they were the reason he fell for you. His mouth forming details of you and his fingers travelings the slopes of your face and body from the angle that your nose sloped to the way the corners of your lips pulled up into possibly his most favorite smile on the planet.

You both did not remember how you responded by crying your eyes out about how beautifully he proclaimed his love and how you felt the same way but you were scared. Scared about this new unknown feeling that you now knew the name of and scared to admit it because this trip will eventually end and you feared how having these feelings would eventually mean nothing.

The next day you both woke holding onto each other and you didn’t know why your eyes were red and puffy.

—

Venice en route to Rome

You were finally headed to your last destination and your three months of adventure would end. Even though there was a week left until you both had to decide what was to come, the drive to Rome was filled mostly with silence.

Although you had been on this trip for nearly three months, the silent car ride had made it feel like almost the first one when he had just picked you up from the gas station.

The silence was brimming with unspoken emotions. Sadness? Longing?

The entire ride, Jungkook kept your hand in his, fingers gently brushing over your knuckles in a caressing way.

You barely looked at each other.

It was physically hard to. In past drives, you both spilled stories you experienced to pass the time or just talked about anything. Today, you found it hard to even glance in each others’ way when you felt the end looming closer with each mile passed.

Rome, Italy

You weren’t going to lie. The dread of the end of the trip cast a shadow over the week spent in Rome. You still enjoyed yourselves as much as possible, but the dread was overwhelming. It was like you just took your heart, wrapped it up nicely, and presented it to Jungkook, and suddenly, two weeks later, you had to take it back. A present wasn’t meant to be taken back by the giver, but received, kept, and taken care of by the receiver.

You wish you hadn’t admitted anything in Provence, but looking back, you couldn’t make it. You couldn’t control a pot that’s about to boil over unless you control the heat causing it to, right? In the end, you ended up turning off the heat completely, didn’t you?

Unconsciously, you both allowed yourselves to distance, farther and farther every day. Less intimate touches and fewer embraces. It was like a psychological choice. Knowing you’d eventually go your separate ways, your minds were forcing your bodies to begin to prepare for the eventual impact.

“Let me take you out,” Jungkook spoke suddenly. “One last time,” a sad smile on his lips.

Tomorrow marked the end and although it was almost certain you had decided yourself, you would be parting ways.

“Okay,” you responded quietly.

You got ready that night, dressed to the nines. It was your last night so why the hell not? You pushed away any thoughts about tomorrow as far out as possible as you pulled on the most lavish dress you could find in your belongings, a red dress you somehow packed that you never had the guts to pull off at home.

Jungkook, himself, pulled on a dress shirt and black slacks.

–

You leaned against the balcony railing and watched the city skyline, the lights on the buildings across the river from you. The wind played with your hair, blowing it gently into different directions. Honestly, anytime spent on this balcony would be breathtaking.

You missed the footsteps of Jungkook approaching you from behind and your heart jumped slightly when a head leaned onto your shoulders and a pair of arms circled around your waist.

“I could spend an eternity with you. Not just here. Anywhere on this damn planet. Even if we were stuck on a deserted island,” he admitted.

Your lips curved into a smile and your heart skipped a few times hearing his words. “Even if we end up fighting over a single coconut for food?”

You felt his chest vibrate against your back as he let out a resounding chuckle. “I’d have to learn how to fish then. Ya know, just in case, so you don’t fight me over a coconut.”

You don’t know why but you felt a single tear rolling down your cheek at the thought of getting away with him. You weren’t sure if it was your insane emotions driving you to love this man or your naivety to what love was. For sure, you could love him.

“That would be perfect.” Unfortunately, you couldn’t hold your emotions from your tone and your voice faltered just a bit.

Jungkook frowned and his hands held onto your shoulder as he spun you around.

It was a single tear, but it gave you away and your smile couldn’t be sadder. His eyes searched yours, only to find melancholy.

“We haven’t talked about tomorrow,” you reminded. His eyes reflected the same emotions.

Jungkook’s hands held on your face in a gentle caress. “I want to kiss you.”

Then he did and you didn’t stop him. You missed his touch too much. Even though you both tried to separate as much as possible this week, it was like playing Jenga. The more you took out to build, the weaker the tower would be.

The more you tried to hold yourselves back, the weaker your resolves became.

To your surprise, after a brief moment, Jungkook was the one to pull away.

To his surprise, your hands reached to the back of his neck, pulling him back in. “Can we not care for tonight?”

Human greed was always strong.

Jungkook gave in, lips on yours once again, this time he kissed you harder and you had somehow staggered against the cool wall outside of your hotel room.

Now all your hard work was really thrown out the window.

“Up,” he spoke against your lips. You listened, legs looping around his waist within a second. His hands held you firmly as he walked away from the balcony, kicking the door shut behind him.

His tongue begged for entrance and as your back hit the bed, you gave it to him.

You allowed your hands to roam from his hair and daring yourself as your fingers glided under the hem of his shirt and onto warm skin.

His own hands ventured from your hips, up your sides, and to your hair finding purchase there.

“y/n,” and even though this flurry of activities had only been lighthearted and hadn't gone far from just kissing, Jungkook’s voice had a deeper, more husky tone in it. It was one with a hint of lust but mostly filled with an unsure feeling. “Are you sure?”

He'd known where this could lead to, where it could end and he didn't want it to end in regret.

You gave him a nod and you meant it.

Never been more sure.

For once, you’d let yourself be selfish. You knew what tomorrow would bring after your confession, but you wanted to be selfish.

Once again, human greed was too strong. You wanted him, you wanted to have all of him.

Without a second word, his lips separated from yours leaving you wanting them back as they began to play dangerous games with your body. First, your neck, then lower and lower.

You didn’t deny your body of what you really wanted that night because, in reaction, your body tensed with desire and you allowed your hands to find his hair again.

You wanted all of him and that night, you let him take you into oblivion as your clothing found their way to the floor in a pile next to the bed one by one. Then you both were stripped bare, naked to each other both physically and emotionally.

The feeling of being bare and laid out before him brought you a creeping feeling of self-consciousness until with two simple words from him, those feelings were flushed out. Gone as if they never existed.

“So beautiful,” he whispered, eyes grazing over your body in utter adoration. Then his eyes were back on your own.

He'd given you his love in the most intimate way possible that night. It was the love he proclaimed the night you both didn’t remember. He was proving it to you once again, sober.

His mouth had cherished you so, his body worshipped you with his all.

The act that some would call sinister became your heaven as his hands and mouth became familiarized with every curve your body owned, as his hips rocks into yours. You were his to cherish, to give himself to and he wanted to do it in the most tender way possible. He cherished your body as if it was the very moon and stars in the night sky as he made love to you.

The soft moans that escaped your lips, every breath you took, the way you arched your back in response to his movements. Jungkook noted them all because he was focused on you and solely you.

When he came to his high, your name fell from his lips like a mantra along with long strings of profanity. Not long after, your own body grew taut, then loose as you came undone before him.

He kissed you once again, gentle as ever, allowing you both to savor the moment of utter bliss.

Covered in sweat and bodily fluids, both tired from the highs you've experienced, you'd finally found your eyes begin to flutter shut, but not before memorizing each other's faces; the soft smiles you had on your faces.

With an arm under his head, his eyes watched you and a finger brushed past your jaw.

No words needed.

His arms slipped around your waist, pulling you flush against him. The intimate moments had passed and he just wanted to feel you skin to skin. Skin to skin was as close as he could get to you.

You wrapped your arms around his middle, a tired smile on your lips.

For that brief night, you both had actually managed to trick your minds into forgetting the goodbyes awaiting tomorrow. You were in the moment and there was nothing but.

I think I love you so much.

–

Your finger tapped on Jungkook’s arm, your eyes wandering over his bare skin. The sun began its journey into the sky and now today was the tomorrow you dreaded yesterday. You wished you could stay like this for a while, heck, for an eternity.

Yeah, let’s freeze time and you could spend just a moment more in his arms.

Your eyes matched his as if you both just acknowledged this was it. Today’s the day, the end.

“Come back with me. I can pay for you can go to university back in Seoul and I’ll beg my father to let me stay in Korea.” Jungkook paused before letting his deepest feelings take control of his voice and words.

“I can’t… we can’t just end this. It barely started and as cheesy as I sound, y/n, I’ve never felt this way about someone. I want to keep seeing you every day. I promise I won’t get bored. I want to learn about all of the weird quirks I didn’t get to yet and fall even more in love. I can’t just let this slip away like some brief summer love. Please give this a real chance. Come back with me.”

His words caused a sad smile to take the place of your previous frown and tears near falling from your eyes and in a heartbeat, you would have said yes. Not for offering to pay for your university, but for staying with him. In a heartbeat, you would have agreed to be with him, but that would mean being irrational.

You never knew you could fall in love with a stranger you agreed to go on a three month trip with. Yet, here you were.

And you were going to set yourself up to decline his offer to stay and be with him, to allow your relationship to continue even though last night, you both had just profusely admitted your love.

Seoul, South Korea — the following autumn after that summer

You said no. You told him you couldn’t go with him to wherever it was. It wasn’t possible. He lived a life that was the complete opposite of yours. He had his own duties to return to and you had yours. You didn’t want him to sacrifice anything so you two could have hope on something that had too many uncertainties and vice versa.

There was no making commitments to be in a relationship together. You saw no resolution with that.

How could a prince be with a peasant? Life was no fairytale. That was the harsh reality.

The last time you saw Jeon Jungkook was at the Incheon International Airport shuttles where it’d take you to busses to take you back to your hometown.

Jungkook walked to the shuttles with you and waited, claiming his car wasn’t there yet. You knew it was a lie. You only sat on the bench with him and lay your head onto his shoulder, feeling his breath, up and down. Up and down.

No talking, just silence. When the shuttle came to a squeaky stop in front of the stop, you both stood and embraced. There were no words but, “Goodbye.”

You both didn’t know if there was anything to say. Do you have something to say like an emission of feelings to add to your departure? Surely, it was there, but no one attempted.

You turned to step onto the shuttle and sat down quickly to catch a glimpse of Jungkook as the shuttle drove off. Both your eyes remained locked. When he became nothing but a small dot and you couldn’t possibly turn your head anymore to watch him disappear from your sight, you sighed.

Jungkook was going to be greeted with a car to take him to his father’s company doors while you would be taking a shuttle to take you to where the busses to home were.

This is where the chance happening of the intertwined path of your lives would stop. They would branch off into different directions like a tree branch eventually growing to split into two so the life of the tree can continue. Both your lives would continue, separately.

Just as the trees become shades of reds, oranges, and browns in the autumn and fell from the ever-growing branches, you returned to your daily life.

Your parents were happy that you had returned to their home and even more glad when you enrolled yourself in classes to help with college credits so you could apply for university in the coming year.

Did you miss Jungkook? Yes, your heart yearned terribly the first few weeks when you went back to reality.

When you saw something from your trip together, whether it be a photo on your phone, those flowers that were pressed in the book, the faint scent of lavender on that page, or the dress you had worn the night you both danced in the rain, you felt like someone was pressing a knife to your heart once again.

The truth is you got to know this stranger with a kind heart, who loved singing with his heart, who had never once felt the trust he felt with you, who made you feel like you were one with the stars, who was the biggest dork on the planet and fell in love with him a place foreign to both of you.

One day, you managed to smile at the memory rather than feel the pain of missing something or someone and it felt good.

When you were finishing some Calculus homework at the cafe you worked at as the sun began to set, the doorbell rang for the first time in hours. You quickly closed the textbook and shoved it into your bag before rising from your seat near the counter. The customer was still observing the menu above as you rushed behind the counter.

“Hi, how can I help you?” You quickly typed in your ID into the POS screen to unlock it. You lifted your head with a smile.

A familiar pair of brown eyes observed you before the man cocked his head to the side a bit with a charming smile rising on his lips.

Your heart fluttered within your chest.

“Hey, y/n”

a/n

reposting because i found out tumblr messed with my tags and now they’re fixed *long sigh*

but hopefully this story gets the love it needs after being screwed over :’) (aka, this one shot is literally my b a b y that i’ve nurtured for a long time)

yours truly, Selene ♡

[iaminlovewithtrr]

Christmas with a stranger

This is my submission for 'gift of cheer' by @cordonianroyalty and @texaskitten30. This is the fluff one shot requested by @anjanettaexcordonia.

Characters belong to pixelberry

Pairings:LiamxRiley

A/N: this is the first fic I have ever written, so i apologize for any mistakes. Criticism is openly accepted, negative or otherwise. Feel free to say anything!

Tags: @texaskitten30 @cordonianroyalty

@kat-tia801 @eadanga @xxrainbow-princessxx @knightthunderis @kingliam2019 @anjanettexcordonia @stuti-singh @queenrileyrose @bbrandy2002 @twinkleallnight @bebepac @ladyrileyrussel @hopelessromanticsposts @dcbbw

Summary: Two strangers spend Christmas day with which each other, which changes the rest of their lives.....

Song inspiration: All I want for Christmas is you

Word count:2683

I don't want a lot for Christmas

There is just one thing I need

Don't care about the presents

Underneath the Christmas tree

I don't need to hang my stocking

There upon the fireplace

Santa Claus won't make me happy

With a toy on Christmas Day

I just want you for my own

It was the morning of Christmas, and Riley was overly excited. She always waited for this time of the year, especially Christmas. Nothing is more enjoyable than sipping cider in the presence of her beloved and enjoying the Christmas meal, she always thoughts. Orphaned at 4 ,she didn't had a blood family to celebrate with , but was blessed with a great deal of foster family and friends. Every year, during Christmas, as a sort of tribute, she spends the entire day celebrating with the children of her previous foster care. Watching those kids playing merrily reminded her of her own good days in the past.

She quickly ate her breakfast and made her way out of her NY apartment, whistling and softly humming to the tune of All I want for Christmas is you, her favorite song.

More than you could ever know

Make my wish come true

All I want for Christmas is you

Baby....

She was so engrossed in her little singing gig that she barely registered the stranger coming towards her, and crashed right into his broad chest, spilling her reticule's content on the sidewalk.

"Oof"she yelped, rubbing her forhead.

"Oh! I'm so sorry! Let me help with those! " the stranger apologized.

Riley and the stranger kneeled down at the same moment to collect her scattered belonging, and for the first time the two glanced into each others eyes. Ocean blue eyes locking onto dark ones. Damn... Those eyes.. Riley swallowed.

"Ahem" she softy cleared her thought, quickly collected her belongings, and stood up.

"Sorry for that. Should've watched my steps. " then she quickly disappeared into the crowd, not noticing the stranger eyes on her from behind.

Riley finally arrived at the foster care. Loving hearts. A bit strange name, but filling her chest with warmth nonetheless. She rummaged through her reticule for her Digital key card, but it was not there.

"Uh...?"she muttered. "Where the hell is my keycard? "

After a few moment of searching she gave up. "Im not going to get in there without my key card...."

"Excuse me Miss.... But I belive this is yours. " a voice behind her startled her.

Riley turned around and found herself staring at the pair of those same dark eyes she encountered earlier. I'd recognise those eyes anywhere, even though I had stared at his eyes for less than 5 seconds. The (cute) guy i bumped with!

"Ahem" the stranger let out a exaggerated cough and riley realised that she has been staring at his face for a solid 10 seconds.

"Right.. Ahem... Sorry... I mean... Thank you for returning this. You totally saved my ass--, i mean my...my...job". Way to make a fool of yourself Riley.

The stranger laughed quitly. "Well then I am glad I could save your job. But I should get going."

Just as he turned, a little voice in the back of her head called out to her, and instinctively she reached out and grabbed his sleeve.

"Er... Sir... I know this is extremly forward of me... But if you would be kind enough to spend the day with volunteering at the orphanage I work at? We are kinda short-staffed tonight, and there aren't much volunteers. Those children at the orphanage will be quite happy to see a new face. You could spend the with them. And me. If you are free, that is?

Crap. Crap. Crap. This i really asked a random hot stranger to volunteer?! Snap the hell out of it Riley!

Plz say yes. Plz say yes. The little voice inside her screamed.

To her surprise, he gave her a smile. "Id be happy to. I don't have any special plans for today. Btw. "

He smiled, and stuck out her hand to shake hers.

"Liam Rys"

"Riley Brooks". She said she she shook his hand. A familiar electric tinge sparked through her veins as she held his hand. His hand impossibly smooth underneath her. Woah! Are guys even supposed to have this soft hands? I wonder what kind of moisturiser he uses....

"Miss Brooks --"

"Call me Riley. "

"Well ahem, Riley.. it is rather cold outside. What say we make it inside? "

"Oh right."

She quickly swiped her keycard and stepped inside, sighing contentedly as the warm air from the heaters enveloped her. She melted a little inside as she felt Liam's warm body alongside her. Brushing this aside, she focused her attention on the scenario in front of her. Numerous gift boxes piled beneath the Christmas tree... Children merrily running and there... Volunteers mingling with each other and the children... The aroma of the food... And the Christmas songs softly playing in the background. A wide smile played on her lips.

While Riley was busy observing the surroundings, Liam found his sight stuck on the beautiful women he had known for not more than 15 minutes. She was beautiful, in a way that the noble ladies back at home in Cordonia arn't. And seeing her here in here element, smiling widely without giving a damn about public decorum or whatsoever, he found himself attracted to her. And without a second thought, he agreed to volunteer. We'll see how the day goes...

Liam cleared his throat, claiming her attention. "So what needs to be done? "

"As you can see this is a orphanage, so the children here dont have any families to celebrate the holidays with. So each year, myself and many other gather here to celebrate the celebrate with them. Thats what we have to do. Mingle with the children, play with them... And make them feel loved. "

"Sure. I can definately do that. I actually volunteered too at orphanages back home."

"If I may ask, Where are you from?

Liam immediately stiffened at the question. When he asked his father for a quiet getaway before the beginning of the social season, meeting Riley was not on the itinerary. And the fact that he was leaving Tommorow didnt helped either. The last thing he wanted to do was to lie with her, but he wasn't going to destroy these good moments he had with her by revealing that he was the crown prince of cordonia.

"I'm actually from one of the small islands surrounding Greece. "

Before she could open her mouth to ask more, Liam immediately turned away to play with one of the children.

The day went on quite peacefully and quite enjoyable for Liam. Holidays back home were anything besides spending with families. It was all about press conferences and photo ops and disguised motives hidden away in gifts. But here I was a lot more different, the sight of children playfully jostling each other without giving a damn made him smile, as that was the part of childhood he missed.

He suddenly felt a small hand on his shoulder and his pulse quickened at the feel of skin over his clothes. Behind her was Riley, holding a eggnog mug in her hands.

"Not to ruin your volunteering gig, but I got you something. "She said as she handed him the mug. Their fingers brushed, and lingered for just a moment longer.

"Ahem. Thank you. " Liam blushed, his ears turning pink.

Riley chucked softly at his antics. He is already so cute, and looks extra cute while he blushes.

Night came quickly. After winding up all the activities for the day including the gift exchanging and christmas dinner, all the children were put to bed and the volunteers were bidding their goodbyes. Only the foster care staff plus liam was left behind.

Riley glanced around. All the staff were mingling on the rooftop, with only her and Liam left in the main hall.

"Hey.... " she softly asked Liam, who was lounging in a chair beside her.

"Yeah? "

"Will you accompany me for a little walk around the times square? I just wanna clear my head a bit. " And hopefully spend some time with you...

He smiled. "Sure! Just let me get my coats. "

The pair walker out of the building and into the cold, brisk night. Celebrations were in full swing outside. Its called the city who never sleeps for Nothing.

Outside was really cold, and with the softly falling snow Riley barely suppressed the shiver that ran up het spine. Suddenly she felt strong arms around her shoulders and a moment later a coat was wrapped around them.

"I would be a terrible gentleman if a let a beautiful lady like you freeze to death. "

"Beautiful, huh? " she teased.

He blushed. That blush.

They both arrived at the square, staring at the enormous Christmas tree situated in the very middle. The glow of the lights and mini bulbs bathing them both in a gentle bluish light.

"Its really beautiful, isnt it? Riley asked. Just as she turned her head towards him liam's eyes quickly found their ways towards the decoration. Was he really admiring me than the beautiful decoration in front of him? Was it possible that he was feeling the same fluttering in his heart that she felt whenever they interacted? No, it can't be. I am reading onto this too much. We are strangers. Strangers.

"Indeed it is. " Liam quitly whispered, hiding the blush in his cheeks. Crap, she caught him staring at her. I hope she doesnt think i am creep or something. To Liam even the most beautiful decorations paled in front of her, she was more beautiful than any sights he had laid his eyes on. Don't get too attached, Liam. Its temporary. You are going to leave tomorrow. There can nothing be between you and her. You have a duty back home. This is just a little escape from reality. They are strangers. Strangers.

Just then the local band striked up a a waltz. All around them peoples paired up, with Riley watching the couples with a hopeful gleam in her eyes... which didnt went unnoticed by Liam. And in that moment, he knew what he had to do.

Liam bowed a little in front of her, and held out his hand, his other arm draped around his back. "May I have this dance? "

She smiled as she put her hand into his, her pulse quickning, "It would be my pleasure. "

She awkwardly bowed, earning a chuckle from Liam as he sweeped her in his arms, her one hand on his shoulder, his on her waist, their free hand twined together. They elegantly twirled together on the makeswift dance floor, stepping in time to each rhythm. As they glided together, liam couldnt help but gaze down at her angelic face, illuminated by the surroundings. His gaze strayed to her lips just as Riley glanced at him, they met each other halfway as their lips come together in a magnetic kiss. Time seemed to stopped when his lips met hers, and the flutter in their chest intensified. Riley's finger gently curled in his coat as liam tangled his hands in her soft brown curls. She smelled like jasmine, a scent that liam is all too familiar with. Their hands tighten around each other, almost desperately, refusing to let go, their lips moving against each other in perfect harmony. Liam tightened his arm around her waist, pulling her into his chest, and Riley softly sighed as she breathed in the scent of him.

For that moment it was only the two of them in the entire world, all the surroundings fading into nothing. Their little bubble of heaven was broken as the pair heard the the sound of clapping and soft cheering. Flustered, Liam grasped her hand and led both of them out of the dance floor and into the streets, grinning all the way.

The two of them found themselves at the threshold of a quint restaurant, and they both collapsed onto the stairs, still holding each other while wearing goofy smiles.

"So... That was.... Something else.. " Riley chuckled.

"Indeed it was. " Liam snickered.

As he glanced down at the lady in his arms, Liam felt a sudden tinge of guilt in his chest. I still haven't told her who I am. I have to tell her.

After her laughter had subsided, Liam gently took her shoulders in his hands and looked square in her eyes. "Riley, can I have a word with you? "

"Yeah... What happened? "

"I haven't told you where I am from, or what I am doing alone in a unknown city without my family. The truth is I am the Crown Prince of a small country called Cordonia. "

Riley stared at him, then burst into laughter. "Haha, Liam, nice joke. If you are a crown prince then i'm Kate Middleton." She stopped laughing when she saw the look on his face. "Oh, you are serious?"

Liam nodded. "Of course. I have no reason to lie to you. I just wanted to let you know that....that...." He struggled to move forward. "That i'll be leaving for Cordonia Tommorow morning. My social season will commence once I get back. I have to choose a bride from all the noble ladies presented to me as suitors. "

Her face fell. "You... You are really going back... I just thought we.... " She trailed off.

"I knew Riley, and I am sorry that I didn't told you sooner. I understand if you are mad--"

"Of course im not mad Liam. You did what you thought was the best. You just wanted a nice time without wandering about your duties."

"I... I wished we had more time together Riley." He whispered.

"Then lets make the most of it. We just have this night tonight, Liam. And I want to make it count. For just this one night let's just be Riley and Liam, two peoples without any obligations.

Riley pointed to the mistletoe over their head, then leaned forward to capture his lips in a heated kiss. He immediately responded, his hand cupping the side of her neck tenderly as she ran her hair through his dark hair. They pulled apart, staring into each others eyes, then their lips came together again, more passionately this time.

"Merry Christmas, Riley."

"Merry Christmas, Liam."

The night was spend together in Liam's suite, tangled in the sheets and in each other's arms.

************

The next morning

Liam woke up in his room.... Alone. He glanced around, none of Riley's belongings were in sight. A single note was on the coffee table beside the bed.

Liam,

I want you to know that the short time I have spend with you more to me than I could describe. You gave me the one thing I wanted most for Christmas...Family. I'm grateful for that. I'm sorry that I had to convey this to you by a letter, but i thought it would be better for both of us. Perhaps we will meet again.

Riley

Liam reached and wiped the lone tear that has escaped on his cheek. "I'm grateful for our time together too, Riley.

**********

Cordonia

It was the evening of the masquerade ball in the palace. Liam was dressed in his usual black regalia with a matching ornate mask. No matter how hard he tried, his thoughts managed to make their way back to Riley. Be a good prince, Liam. She's gone.

Liam stood in the huge elegant ballroom, a queue of noble ladies in front of him. Each lady he encountered, whether it was the poodle loving lady Penelope, the diplomat's daughter Kiara, or his best friend Olivia, made him realize that none of them were her.

The next lady approached, who was adorned in a white angel costume, with a literal halo above her head, her blue eyes peeking out of the glittering mask. Why are those eyes familiar...

"Hello..." Liam greeted her politely. "I don't believe we have met... Have we?"

The women smiled, then reached behind the back of her head to loosen the mask strings, Liam caught a glimpse of a familiar face as she removed her mask.

"Riley..."

[here4theheartbreak]

Debuting and Dating (2Seok)

⭒ AO3 Link Here!

⭒ Relationships: Hoseok x Seokjin (2seok)

⭒ Genre: smut

⭒ Rating: Explicit

⭒ Word Count: ~3.6k

⭒ Tags: smut, PWP, getting together, idol-verse, loss of virginity, makeshift sex toys, face fucking, barebacking, coming untouched, dirty talk, clothed sex, semi-public sex, almost getting caught, bottom!Jin, top!Hoseok

⭒ Summary: Jin's had a crush on Hoseok since he met him, and it finally paid off. Now if only he could get more than a minute alone with him.

⭒ A/N: This fic is for @thebtswritersclub​ January Prompt - New Beginnings/Beginnings. 

The first time that Jin saw Hoseok he was both intimidated and in awe. The way he moved, the professionalism, the maturity for his age; Hoseok was the perfect man in Jin's eyes. Unfortunately - Jin knew he didn't have a chance with him. In addition to being absolutely perfect, Hoseok was also likely absolutely straight. That, and he seemed to hate Jin with a burning passion. Not that Jin was surprised. He wasn't that good of a singer and his dancing was horrendous; more times than not after practice Hoseok would need to pull him aside and work with him longer. It was embarrassing in and of itself, and made far worse with the fact that Jin's crush wasn't going anywhere.

It wasn't until a week after debut that things came to a head. Jin and Hoseok were - as usual - stuck in a practice room far later than the other five as Hoseok went over a few moves that Jin had been struggling with. Jin was near tears, exhausted and ready to quit. The response from the potential new fans hadn't been all that good - with the negativity outweighing the positivity in Jin's mind. He was a failure and he knew it. Though the fans weren't all specifically calling him out for being bad at his job, there were enough.

"Why do you even bother?" Jin asked softly as the two sat on the floor during a few minutes of rest.

"Hm?" Hoseok glanced up from his phone.

"Bother with me. I'm no good."

"You debuted."

"Being dragged along by everyone else."

"Namjoon can't dance perfectly either," Hoseok said simply.

"Right, sure. So he's in the back with me. But he raps perfectly. And he writes most of the music. And he's the leader. What can I do that can't be done by someone else in the group just as well if not better?"

"Cook?" Hoseok said, trying to smile.

"Yoongi."

"You're a good singer."

"Jimin's just as good and can do all my parts."

"You've got the looks."

"So does Taehyung."

Hoseok remained silent for a moment. Jin looked over, surprised to see a sad look in Hoseok's eyes.

"What?"

"I know one thing that you do that they can't."

"What's that?"

"Beat yourself up like this. You're good at your job, Jin-hyung. And even if you weren't... We all love you and want you to succeed. You deserve so much. I'd be heartbroken if you left. I mean we, we would be."

"I won't leave you guys," Jin said. He sighed and rose, his knees wobbling a bit from exhaustion. "One more time."

Hoseok nodded and hopped up, seemingly full of energy once more. They went through the moves four more times, and Jin thought maybe was improving. Until the fifth. Brows furrowed, he counted under his breath as he stepped to the music. He could feel Hoseok watching him, having asked him to do this one on his own. Step, step-- Jin's knee finally gave out on him. The world tilted as he went down, throwing his arms out to brace for the impact.

It never came. Hoseok had rushed forward, catching him and keeping him upright, their chests pressed together. Jin opened his eyes, surprised to find himself nearly nose to nose with Hoseok.

"Thanks... Sorry."

“Don’t worry about it. You’re exhausted. Come on, enough for today.”

Jin shook his head. “One more.”

“No. You’re falling over. Once more and you might collapse. Come on, let’s go shower and head home.”

Jin nodded, letting Hoseok guide him to the shower room. He sat as he stripped, his muscles barely able to keep him up. His legs were cramping in the worst way, and each movement was agony. Though he kept his groaning silent, Hoseok seemed to notice. He crouched down, working his strong, slender fingers into Jin’s tight calf.

“You’re hurting, huh?”

Jin hissed, falling backwards onto the bench. “Sorry—“

“Don’t apologize,” Hoseok said. “I get it. Just relax. Let me help.”

Hoseok began to work his muscles loose. It went from agony to calm to pure pleasure as his hands moved cleanly over Jin’s legs. He rose, sitting on the bench to work on his thighs. Jin’s eyes were closed.

Hoseok chuckled. “Glad I’m good at this,” he said.

Jin opened his eyes and looked down. Much to his embarrassment, Hoseok was looking pointedly at his crotch. Wearing only boxers, it was obvious he had an erection, tenting the front of his shorts. He scrambled up, covering the tent as well as he could.

“I didnt— I’m not— I don’t—“

“Breathe,” Hoseok said simply. He rose from the bench and approached Jin. “Do you get hard during massages normally?”

Jin considered lying. Saying yes would help him escape trouble, but lying to Hoseok felt bad. His hesitation seemed to be all Hoseok needed.

“I thought so. So it’s me then?” Hoseok asked, as if Jin had given an answer. Jin lowered his gaze.

“I’m sorry.”

“Silly thing to apologize for. You should ask me out instead.”

Jin’s head snapped up quick enough to make his neck ache, his eyes bulging. Hoseok laughed. He stepped a little closer to Jin, shifting so his chest was pressed against his arm. It took Jin a second to realize what he was doing. His cock, just as hard as Jin’s, was pressing against his hip. Hoseok shifted, his eyes fluttering shut.

“I’d say yes, spoiler alert,” he whispered.

Jin’s heart may have stopped. The world seemed to go a little fuzzy as every sense he had focused on the feeling of Hoseok’s cock, sliding over his hip. It felt big. It was hard. It seemed - if Hoseok was being honest - to be Jin’s fault he was in that condition. So, being polite, it would only make sense…
Jin let his hands drop from his crotch. He turned, cupping Hoseok’s cock through his shorts. Hoseok gasped, smirking a little.

“Is that a yes to the date then?”

“Mhm,” Jin breathed. He began to stroke Hoseok through his shorts. “Do you think we’re alone?”

“Hm��� Nobody else would need the shower room,” Hoseok said.

“Good.” Jin sank to his knees. “I should fix the problem I caused.”

He pulled Hoseok’s shorts down, his heart skipping a beat and his stomach knotting up when his cock was revealed, hard and curved, thick in all the right places.

Jin had no idea what he was doing. But Hoseok needed pleasure and dammit he’d do it. He wrapped his lips around the tip, moaning at the salty sweet taste. Hoseok gently pressed on his head, urging him forward. Jin relaxed, letting more slide into his mouth, sitting heavily on his tongue.

Hoseok fisted his hair, guiding his head back and forth.

“That’s it. Suck on my cock, Jinnie. Make me come.”

Jin moaned happily around Hoseok’s cock. His own throbbed in his pants. He reached down and squeezed himself through his shorts. Hoseok pulled him off his cock, and Jin instinctively went forward, sticking his tongue out to lick at the silken tip, dribbling clear precome.

“Perfect,” Hoseok cooed. “Made to have a dick in your mouth.” He drove two fingers into Jin’s mouth, stroking his tongue all the way back.

“Do you have much of a gag reflex, pretty cocksucker?”

Jin shook his head no, letting himself drool around Hoseok’s fingers.

“Good.” Hoseok removed his fingers and grabbed his spit slicked cock. He rubbed it over Jin’s plush lips. “Can I fuck your throat?”

Jin nodded eagerly.

“Just open your mouth. I’ll do the rest.”

Jin obeyed, opening his mouth wide. Hoseok slid his cock over his tongue before fisting his hair. He slammed him forward, his cock driving past Jin’s throat. Jin gagged hard, eyes watering. His cock jerked and dribbled precome as Hoseok began to pump his hips, his cock sliding almost all the way out before slipping back down his throat.

He held still, balls pressed to Jin’s chin as Jin struggled to breathe around his thick, throbbing cock.

He reached down, beginning to jerk off.

“Don’t,” Hoseok growled, pulling his cock out to let Jin breathe. “When I’m inside you - in any way - I don’t ever wanna see your hand on your cock.”

“Please,” Jin begged. “I gotta come.”

“Then you come with something in your holes like a good boy. Either from my cock or your fingers... Or...” he drifted off. “Here.” He walked over to their bags and dug in his own, pulling out a hairbrush with a smooth plastic handle. He pushed it into Jin’s mouth. “Slobber on it.” Jin did as requested, sucking it like a cock. While he did, Hoseok pulled his shorts down just over his ass, keeping his cock covered with his boxers. He spat in his hand, rubbing it over Jin’s hole.

“I’m gonna open up this hole soon,” he commented. Jin moaned around the brush. He nodded. Hoseok pulled it out. “Relax.”

He lined up the handle to Jin’s ass and pushed.

Jin moaned happily, his ass opening for the makeshift toy until it could go no deeper. Hoseok bunched up their shirts, balancing the brush.

“There. Now you can bounce on it like a cock while I use you. Come from that.”

He stood back up, watching Jin start to ride the brush for a moment. It wasn’t perfect, but it hit his spot and made his cock dribble, so it worked. He opened his mouth, letting Hoseok slide back down his throat. He began to fuck his face, not holding back.

Jin’s cheeks burned both from lack of oxygen and from the pornographic clicking, gulping noises he was forced to make as Hoseok used his throat like a sex toy. He continued to ride the brush, chasing his orgasm.

A little surge of pride struck him when Hoseok shuddered. “I need to come. Hold your breath and swallow.” Hoseok said. He drove deep and held Jin’s head. Jin obeyed, swallowing around his cock. He felt it jerk, gagging I instinctively. The thick come filled his throat, forcing him to swallow or choke. Above him, Hoseok moaned his name, shivering as he came.

Jin reached back, fucking himself hard and fast with the brush until his orgasm hit, cock spilling down his thigh. He moaned, coughing as Hoseok pulled out, one final rope of come dribbling over his tongue. His entire body shuddered as his orgasm washed over him, as well as the lack of oxygen. Hoseok crouched, immediately hugging him close.

“That was amazing,” Hoseok whispered.

“Still on for that date?” Jin asked.

Hoseok grinned against his shoulder. “Of course… Come on, let’s clean up.” He helped him up and out of his messy shorts, leading him to the shower.

 The two quickly became inseparable. Though they kept their relationship under wraps from everyone but Namjoon, they spent as much time together as possible. Whether it was training after the group choreography sessions, going to lunch or dinner together, or taking ten minutes to make out in one of Big Hit’s broom closets, Jin could not get enough of his beautiful boyfriend.

 Their relationship progressed naturally and quickly. Nearly eight months into their relationship, the two were crawling out of their skin. They were both eager to take the next physical step. Unfortunately - getting time alone to take that step was near impossible. Jin didn’t want to rush it. He was losing his virginity, and it would be special. Hoseok was understanding though, admittedly, impatient as well.

One weekend, Jin crawled quietly into bed with Hoseok. Not a new thing; they often spent evenings kissing quietly while the rest of the group slept in beds far too close for comfort. But Jin had a different plan tonight.

 As the shared quiet kisses, covered up to their necks with Hoseok’s blankets, Jin pushed his hand down the front of Hoseok’s shorts.

“Take me,” he whispered against his mouth, cupping Hoseok’s thickening cock.

“Here?” Hoseok leaned back, staring at Jin, wide eyed, in the darkness.

Jin nodded. He stroked Hoseok slowly to hardness. “If we move slow enough the bed won’t creak. I need you, I— I know you want it too and I’m tired of waiting.”

Hoseok nodded. He kicked his boxers off, pushing them further down the bed. Jin rolled over, pressing his bare back against Hoseok’s chest. He felt Hoseok slide his shorts down just over his ass, keeping them up in the front.

He reached under the mattress, finding the little bottle of lube he knew Hoseok kept there, and passed it back.

The click sounded loud in the room, and Jin kept his eyes open, searching the other members’ beds for any sign of movement. He bit down hard on his lip when Hoseok began to rub his opening, the cool lube sending chills down his back and bringing his flesh into goosebumps.

Hoseok’s fingers were long and skilled, pulling his tight rim open, slow and steady. preparation. Within minutes Jin was swallowing down his moans, biting on the pillow to remain silent lest he wake the other members. Hoseok’s breathing was almost infuriatingly steady; only the persistent nudge of his cock bumping against Jin’s leg as he stroked it gave away his arousal.

“Please—“ Jin finally whispered, glad for the snoring and shifting of their members to bury his weak sounds.

“Be silent,” Hoseok returned. His fingers disappeared from Jin’s hole, only to return with more lube. Jin cocked his knee higher, letting Hoseok shift and kick one leg between his. His tip bumped Jin’s virgin hole.

“Ready?” Hoseok’s question was nearly a breath. Jin nodded quickly.

Hoseok hesitated until a member moved, their bed creaking, before he pushed at Jin’s resisting rim. They both gasped.

Jin chewed at his lip to remain silent. Hoseok worked his cock forward agonizingly slow, burying it centimeter by centimeter in Jin’s ass. He felt like he was being split in two. His own cock throbbed in the confines of his shorts, balls already aching for release.

“Just push it in,” Jin hissed. “I can take it.”

Hoseok nodded against his shoulder. He reached up, covering Jin’s mouth with his hand. Jin felt his hot breath on his shoulder, then his teeth, gripping firmly in a bite. The persistent tip disappeared... Before his hips snapped forward.

He buried half his thick, bare cock in Jin’s ass. His teeth dug painfully into Jin’s shoulder, muffling a deep grunt.

Jin shouted into Hoseok’s palm, tears of surprised pleasure pain springing to his eyes. They both went still, waiting to see if anyone woke. When the normal sleeping sounds of the members continued around them, Hoseok began to push more in. He kissed the spot he’d bitten, letting his hand drop from Jin’s mouth and instead rest on his belly.

Jin shuddered softly on each press. Hoseok’s cock was splitting him open in a way he’d never imagined. The steady throbs and twitches seemed to bump his prostate directly, urging weak droplets of precome to dribble into his boxers. He wanted so badly to strip them off and roll Hoseok over, settle onto his cock and ride him until they both were exhausted. But it was impossible. The risk of getting caught - while arousing to both - was too high.

Jin sighed contentedly when Hoseok’s balls pressed tight against his ass, the final few centimeters of his cock now holding Jin’s hole open. The two began to shift slowly, shallow thrusts that wouldn’t make the springs creak, moving in time with other members’ snores and noises.

Jin began to milk Hoseok’s cock, shifting and clenching, bearing down and relaxing. Hoseok’s fingers bit into his belly and he smirked.

“Feel good?” He breathed.

Hoseok huffed against his ear, nipping the lobe before kissing it.

“I’m going to wreck your hole the second we’re alone,” he threatened.

Jin’s cock throbbed. “Yes—“

Hoseok pulled halfway out and drove in, the squeak of the bed mixed with a member shifting a few mattresses over. Jin flailed, struggling not to cry out.

Hoseok chuckled darkly. “Yeah, just like that... But you’re gonna scream for me.”

Jin huffed, nodding quickly.

“‘M never coming anywhere but this hole,” Hoseok continued. His fingers dug into Jin’s stomach and hip when Jin began to wiggle and clench more quickly.

“Never— Ah!” Hoseok’s hand clamped over Jin’s mouth, silencing him.

Next to them, Jimin sat up, rubbing his eyes. He looked around blearily. Even in the dark, Jin could see his scowl; he’d definitely heard that.

The two held their breath until Jimin laid back down and was still, only relaxing when he hadn’t moved for a few minutes.

They began to move again, doing their best to muffle their noises in the bed or each others’ skin. Hoseok’s cock seemed to swell the longer they went; Jin’s ass beginning to ache from the constant steady pressure and onslaught.

Hoseok found a lazy rhythm that let him give Jin deeper, longer strokes. Jin panted into his pillow, his cock throbbing, aching for release. He reached down to stroke himself but Hoseok grabbed his hand, pinning it to his chest.

“You come on my cock.”

“Please—“ Jin whispered. “I need—“

“You will come on my cock. I watched you come on my fingers last week. I know you can do it.”

Jin nodded. They went still for a moment when Namjoon shifted and rolled in his bed, afraid their quiet arguing had woken him. While they laid still, Hoseok began to tense and relax, causing his cock to twitch and shift deep inside Jin.

When Namjoon settled back down, Hoseok began to move more freely, covering Jin’s mouth with his hand once more. He angled his thrusts to bump Jin’s sensitive prostate, driving him closer and closer.

It felt like ages that Hoseok’s thick cock was buried in Jin’s hole, teasing and edging him but never quite letting him get there. Jin knew he’d be sore, but couldn’t bring himself to care. It was the most delightful torture he’d ever experienced.

Four times, six, on the eighth time of dragging him right to that edge, Jin sobbed brokenly, muffled by the pillow.

“Please—“

��Just let go,” Hoseok whispered. He pulled out and hesitated until Namjoon snored loudly before slamming in. Jin squeaked, his cock throbbing. Hoseok repeated the action twice more. Jin’s stomach knotted. His balls drew right to his body, goosebumps breaking out over his skin despite being covered by a few blankets and sweating already from the strain.

His cock twitched. It began to spurt rope after rope of come into his boxers as his entire body convulsed. His stomach began to ache and his balls felt like they were being squeezed dry as his orgasm continued, Hoseok’s cock bumping his prostate and milking it for all it was worth. He could hear Hoseok huffing, just barely over the sound of his own racing heart. His rim was sore, lower back burning as the muscles in his ass fluttered and clenched rhythmically around Hoseok’s shaft.

He worried he was hurting him until Hoseok’s breath caught. His fingers dug almost painfully into Jin’s hip.

“Take it,” he huffed. His balls began to throb against Jin’s ass, matching the steady twitch of his cock deep inside him.

Jin’s eyes rolled back. He gave a full body shudder even as his orgasm began to fade. Hoseok was finishing inside him, no condom, filling Jin’s sore, used ass full of his come. Jin couldn’t hide his smile as Hoseok’s cock twitched with each rope splashing inside him.

“Give it to me,” Jin whispered, his smile growing when Hoseok shuddered. “It’s where it belongs— Oh—“ Hoseok pushed impossibly deeper, his entire body shivering once more.

“There you go,” Hoseok whispered against ear. “All full of my come.”

“Thank you—“ Jin was cut off when Hoseok turned him as well as he could still buried in his ass, and kissed him hard.

“If you two are finished, can you fucking go to sleep?” Came Jimin’s sleepy voice. Jin squeaked, looking over at him.

Jimin was peeking out from under his pillow. “I don’t care,” he whispered. “I’m not mad. I just wanna sleep.”

Jin laughed a little and nodded. “Sorry we woke you.”

“Go back to sleep now, we’ll be quiet,” Hoseok said.

Jimin nodded. He smiled a little. “You two are cute together. I’m happy you found each other.”

“Thank you, Jimin,” Jin whispered.

Jimin rolled over, wiggling deeper under his covers and sighing.

Hoseok grabbed Jin’s hip, gently pulling out. Jin grimaced, soreness setting in.

“Sorry,” Hoseok said. He pulled Jin’s boxers back up. “You should change.”

“In a minute,” Jin said. He rolled over to face Hoseok and cuddled up to him, kissing him once more.

“Was it good for you?” Hoseok whispered against his mouth.

“Perfect. You’re perfect.”

“Hm… Same to you. You should go back to your bed though, before we fall asleep.”

“Let’s just sleep together,” Jin sighed, wrapping an arm around Hoseok. “The others do.”

“Think it’d be okay?”

“I wanna sleep with you,” Jin said instead. “Who cares. We need to come out to them all soon.”

Hoseok nodded against his shoulder, wrapping his arm around his middle. “We do. We’ll talk to Namjoon tomorrow. Get some rest, hyung.”

“I love you,” Jin mumbled against Hoseok’s chest. The silence drew on for a moment as Jin listened to his steady heartbeat.

“I love you too,” Hoseok finally said in return. Jin couldn’t hide his smile; that was the first time Hoseok had verbalized that particular phrase. As he drifted off to sleep, Jin realized he felt more at peace than he’d ever felt before. The group was doing well, we finally felt like he fit in, and he’d found the man he hoped to spend the rest of his life with. It was perfect.