#sorry I've had a drink and I've been on my period and I'm SO SICK OF IT END PLEASE I'M BEGGING | Explore Tumblr posts and blogs

thegeeksideofsr · 6 months ago

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Midnight Snack

Summery: Nate's daughter' period is a pain, literally and figuratively. Sent home to relax, and receives a late night visitor.

A/n: This is entirely self indulgence. I was on my period, had cramps and wanted cuddles. But alas. I am single. So this was made. Eliot might be a little OOC, but whatever. It's fluffy.

The kitchen is a buzz with activity. Kate works with the pastry chef and over sees the line cooks prepping at their stations, the prep cooks prepare ingredients and portioning them out, and the bussers setting tables up.

I sit at the bar talking with the sommelier, Alice, and bartender, Duncan, about the wine list, the drinks available, and the influx of minors trying to buy alcohol.

I try to pay attention to them, but my cramps are taking over, going from my waist to my lower back, I run a hand along my abdomen, trying to soothe the pain.

"Boss, you ok?" Duncan asks.

"I'm fine."

"You don't look fine, hun," Alice pipes in. " You look like you are going to be sick or pass out."

"I am fine," I stress. " It's just cramps. I've had them before and I'll have them again. Now the wine list-"

"Boss!" Yells Kate comes out of the kitchen in a trot. " Do you still want to do the- whoa! You look like shit!"

"Thanks, Kate. Just what every girl want to hear."

"Sorry, but you do." She turns to Duncan and Alice, "What'd you two do to her?"

"Nothing!" They exclaim.

"She has cramps and insists she's fine even though she looks awful." Alice's explains.

Kate turns to me, "You want to go home? I can hold down the fort."

"I can't. It's a Friday night, I can't leave you guys here while I'm at home."

"Ok, but how much help are you going to be of you are in pain all night. Have you taken anything?"

I nod. "Forty minutes ago. They haven't touched it."

"Well then I am pulling Soue Chef rank and sending you home." Kate's hand in her hips and a determined look on her face.

"I don't think that's a thing." Duncan mutters.

She ignores him and squints at me. "I will call your father and tell him you aren't talking care of you self."

I squint back.

"You wouldn't."

She reaches into her pocket, pull her phone out and opens to his contact. Her finger hovers over the call button.

"If you don't agree to go home in the next ten seconds I will call him." She says calmly then begins to count down.

I look to Duncan and Alice.

Duncan raises his hand in defense,"I'm not getting in the middle of Kate and one of her missions. I know better."

Alice shrugs. "While I don't agree with her tactics, you need a break. You have been here almost everyday for the past three months."

I glare at them. "Traitors."

"Five, four, three" Kate's finger hovers closer to the screen.

"Fine! I'll go home!" I relent. " What are you, twelve? Threatening to call my dad."

Kate shrugs as she put her phone away.

"It worked though. What's that say about you?"

I roll my eyes as I slide of the stool. "I hate you."

"I know."

I head to my office to get my phone and some paperwork, then to the wall of lockers in the back for the rest of my stuff.

I explain to the kitchen crew that I'm not feeling well and that Kate is sending me home, they all nod in understanding as they have also experienced her mothering, then stop at the bar again on my way out.

"Call me if you need me," I tell the trio. " I can still -"

"We will survive until Monday," Alice assures.

"Monday?"

"We discussed it," Kate nods, and gestures to the pair next to her. "And decided you need a vacation. You make sure this place runs smoothly and that everyone is ok. It's time you took care of yourself."

The thoughtfulness is touching, and she is right, a break would be nice.

"If you're sure."

"Go!" The three practically yell.

"Ok, ok I'm going."

I head towards the door, wave one last time, then open the door.

"Call the guy you told me about!" Kate yells after me. " The one with blue eyes!"

"What guy?" Duncan asks, a protective tone to his voice.

I roll my eyes and head to my car.

**********************************************"

Once in my apartment I go for a hot shower, hot as I can stand. My cramps are a bit better, but not gone, and the heat of the shower helps.

After the shower come the comfy pants, my favorite sweatshirt, and fuzzy socks.

I make my way to the kitchen and make a cup of tea. I place a bean bag in the microwave and turn it on for a few minutes to heat up.

Once it's done, I grab my mug and bean bag, then head to the couch turning off lights as I go.

Once in the living room I grab the remote and place it on the side table next to my mug, before placing the bean bag on my lower belly then tuck my blanket in around me.

I turn the TV on and pull up my comfort show, volume turned down low.

Cool autumn air flows in from the window, cracked open for fresh air, fairy lights line the ceiling of the living room casting a warm glow.

After half an hour my phone vibrates on the side table, my Dad's name across the screen.

I pick it up to answer.

"Hey, Dad. How are you?"

"Hey, kiddo. I wanted to check in, haven't heard from you in a while. Didn't expect you to pick up. Was gonna leave a message because you were working."

"I'm fine. Just busy with work. I wasn't feeling well so Kate sent me home," I explain.

"Are you okay?" His voice full of concern.

"I'm fine. Nothing a good nights sleep won't fix." I assure him. "I'm sorry I haven't called you or come by, but you and the team seemed busy. The last time I saw you all Eliot looked like he when toe to toe with a moose and lost."

"Yeah, we have been rather busy, but that doesn't excuse us not spending time together."

"I know, but it's not a big deal. We both have been busy. It happens. And what you and the team are doing is good work, I don't want to get in the way. The least I can do is feed you when I have the opportunity."

He goes quiet, neither of us speak for a moment.

"Can you come over tomorrow? Just us. So we can catch up?"

I smile. "Of course! What time do you want me there?"

"Ten?"

"Ten is perfect. I-"

I hear a yell in the background, I think is Eliot . Dad yells back that he's on his way.

"I have to go, kiddo. I'll see you tomorrow. I love you."

"I love you too, Dad. I'll see you tomorrow."

We hang up, I set my phone down again and go back to my show.

I start to dose after a few episodes. My bean bag long since cooled, but the blanket keeps the heat in. Thankfully the cramps have subsided.

A knock on my door breaks through the quiet.

A groan leaves me. I extract myself from my cocoon, keeping my blanket wrapped around me as I trudge to the door.

I look through the peap hole, to find Eliot on the other side.

Confusion floods me as I unlock and open the door.

"Eliot?" I ask him. "What are you doing here this late."

"Nate said you weren't feelin' well." He lift his arm, showing off a fabric bag. "I brought this."

"What is it?"

"Can I come in?"

I nod, stepping out of the way.

He step past me to stand in the entrance awkwardly while I lock the door.

I turn to him. He looks out of place in my cozy apartment. His leather jacket and hoodie over a Henley, work boots and blue jeans.

He in turn looks at me. Reminding me that I'm wearing a blanket as a cape and fuzzy socks.

"Where's your kitchen?" He asks.

"Down on the left." I gesture towards the kitchen.

He nods, goes to take a step but hesitates.

"Should I take my boots off?" He asks.

I look down to his rather dirty boots, then back to his face.

"Would you mind?"

He shakes his head.

"I can take the bag to the kitchen if you'd like."

He hands it to me hesitantly, then bends to unlace his boots.

I head to the kitchen, "Make yourself at home," I call over my shoulder.

I place the bag on the counter, then turn my kettle on for another cup of tea, or hot chocolate. That would be good too.

Foot steps pull me from my thoughts as Eliot comes to the counter and start to pull items from the bag to lay on the counter.

Two tupperware of something, two quart jars of what looked like broth, and a tub of my favorite ice cream.

"Can I borrow your kitchen?" He asks, leaning against the counter next to the items he laid out.

"Depends. What are you making?"

He opens and sets down one of the tupperware to reveal scrambled eggs and small bits of cooked chicken, repeating with the next container to reveal small elbows pasta.

"My mom's chicken noodle soup. Homemade broth is what makes it so good. Fixes any ailment you got."

Oh that sounded good.

"Eliot, as sweet as this is and how good it sounds, I don't think that soup will help me right now."

He shrugs. "Never know till ya try it. How ya feelin' any way?"

I hesitate and look away from him.

He steps closer, his hands rest on my arms, heat radiating through the blanket around my shoulders.

"What is it?" He asks.

"My period. The cramps have been really bad today. Kate made me go home because I looked like I was going pass out. I was fine, but it was nice to relax for a while."

"Have you taken anything for them?"

I nod. " Some meds. And a hot shower and a heated bean bag. It's fine though, you didn't have to come over."

He shakes his head, "I don't mind. Are you cramping now?"

"The meds are wearing off," I check the clock on the stove, "I can take more in half an hour."

"Alright. When's the last time you ate?"

That question makes me pause. Thinking back, I wasn't hungry when I got home, or after my shower, so that ment the last meal would have been lunch with Alice and Kate. Considering it was ten-thirty , it had been about eleven hours. Yikes.

"Lunch time," I mutter.

He sighs and give me a disapproving look.

I roll my eyes, "I know. You can cook if you agree to stay and eat with me and keep me company."

He lets a half smile cross his face. " Deal."

I nod then leave him to fetch my mug for a new cup of tea.

On my return I see he's pulled a medium pot from the cupboard, emptied the two jars into it, the container of eggs and chicken as well, the ice cream no longer on the counter, presumably tucked away safely in the freezer.

"Where'dya keep your herbs?" He asks.

"Left of the stove." I gesture towards the cupboard as I pour hot water into my mug.

He opens the cupboard, reading the hand written labels.

"You dry these yourself?" He turns to me, holding the jar of dill.

I nod.

"The building has a community garden. Some people grow fruits, others grow veggies. I grow the herbs and dry them. The landlord has a chicken coop and those ladies are egg producing machines," I explain with chuckle as I grab my mug and move to the kitchen table, tucking my legs under me.

"We share what we grow, like a family. There's only a six units in the building so it works well. It was nice when Dad was out in LA. And when Sam died. My neighbor's made sure I was ok during that time."

"Nate wasn't there for you?"

"Not as much as I would have hoped. He took it the hardest. He got really angry at the world." I look down to my hands. "I was just starting my restaurant when he got diagnosed. Kate was the only one who knew."

"I'm sorry." He says, looking at me with a sad look. "I met Nate when he was probably at his worst. He was reckless. He never mentioned you before."

I laugh lightly.

"I'm not surprised. He always kept work and family separate as much as he could."

He nods then goes back to cooking.

I watch him cook. His movements smooth and confident, adding herbs and stirring them in, adding the pasta and turning the heat down to simmer.

Watching him slowly gets taken over by pain encircling my hips and lower abdomen.

I lean forward over my lap, squishing my organs to relieve the pain. I must make some kind of noise, because Eliot's feet appear in front of me, then he squats down in front of me.

"You ok, darlin'?"

"I'm fine." I mutter.

"No, you're not. Where are your meds?"

"Bathroom, left middle drawer."

He leaves my view, I hear him rummage through the drawer, then his foot steps back to the kitchen.

He squats back in front of me, opening the jar and pouring out a few pills into his hand.

"How many?"

"Two."

He puts the extras away until two remain in his palm, held out towards me.

I sit up, and take them from him, I wash them down with my tea, now drinking temp.

I set my mug back on the table, Eliot's gaze following my movements, hand on my knees gently rubbing.

"Why are you so calm about this?" I ask. "Most guys are kinda grossed out, or do the bare minimum."

"My mom taught me to take care of people, especially women in pain. Plus I've been workin' with Parker and Sophie for two years, this ain't my first rodeo."

"Parker must be a handful." I joke.

"Yeah she is." He chuckles, the corners of his eyes crinkle. "You need anything else?"

"Not right now." I push my blanket from my shoulders to stand up. "I think I'll go back to my spot on the couch after a quick bathroom stop."

He nods, taking a step back allowing me room to stand.

I head to the bathroom, sounds come from Eliot moving about my apartment through the door.

Once I'm done I head back out towards the kitchen, but the living room catches my eye, the couch specifically.

My blanket it there, not on the kitchen chair, my mug on the side table, and two bowls sit on the coffee table in front of the couch, steam rising from them. The microwave hums is the kitchen.

I stand in the door way of the kitchen, starring at Eliot, leaning against the counter waiting for the microwave to finish.

He looks up at me.

"Go sit down. I'll bring this over when it's done."

"What is it? My bean bag?"

He nods.

"Found it when I brought you blanket over. Thought I'd warm it for you while you were gone."

The thoughtfulness makes my heart flutter.

"Thank you, Eliot."

"You're welcome. Now go sit." He points towards the living room then turns to the microwave as it beeps.

I give a small salute then head to the couch, tucking my self into my blanket like a nest.

Eliot follows a minute later holding the bean bag.

"Over the blanket or under?" He asks.

"Under." I reach for the bag, move the blanket and settle it across my lap and abdomen.

I tuck the blanket back around me, leaning my head down to the back of the couch.

"Better?" He asks.

I hum an confirmation.

The couch dips next to me, he sits close enough to feel his body heat, but not touching.

He leans forward and pick up a bowl, passing it to me, then picking up the next for himself.

I thank him, then take a spoon full of the soup. It smells amazing, and the taste even more so.

"Eliot, this is amazing. Thank you."

"You're welcome. I'm glad you like it."

I watch him as he eats, sitting on the edge of the couch, leaning forward like he's really to go at a moment notice. Not relaxed at all.

"Eliot," I say to him. "Sit back get comfy."

He looks at me, almost like a dear caught in headlights, then shifts back and settles into his spot.

"Happy?" He grumbles.

"Very. Now," I reach for the TV remote and turn it back on. " What do you like to watch?"

"I don't watch TV much, but when I have the opportunity it's sports."

"Of course it is," I whisper under my breath.

"What was that?" He raises any eyebrow at me.

"Nothing! So sports, I think they are running some old baseball games -"

"Not baseball."

"What's wrong with baseball?"

"It's stupid. Can't score off defense."

I roll my eyes.

"Don't say that around my restaurant, you'd never make it out alive."

"I think I'd be fine."

I shake my head, turning back to the TV to find something we agree on, surprisingly it's old reruns of Magnum PI. At least he's got good taste out side of sports.

Soon enough the bowls a empty, ice cream replaces soup and is consumed. Empty bowls are left on the coffee table to be cleaned later.

During the third episode, I lean over to rest against Eliot's side, his arm moving from the back of the couch to around my shoulders, his thumb rubbing against my shoulder.

I feel myself start to doze off. The dimly lit room, the warmth from Eliot around me, and the comfort of his arm around it the perfect recipe for sleep.

I wake up a little bit as I feel myself being being lifted from the couch. I'm carried for a few seconds, then am gently set onto something soft. A hand cradles my head, guiding it until my head hits my pillow.

The blankets are pulled over me, tucking me in. A head brushes some hair from my face, then leaves. I look to catch the hand, I hold tight.

"I gotta go, darlin'. You need sleep." He whispers.

"Stay." I mumble back, eyes falling closed again.

He doesn't move, still holding my hand, he then squeezes it briefly and lets go.

"A'right, I'll stay."

He rounds the bed and climbs in the other side. I shuffle over to his side, his body heat like a magnet. I cuddle into his side, my head on his chest, arm draped across his stomach.

He's stiff, and his heart beats are rapid.

He soon relaxes, heart slowing, one hand resting on my upper back, the other coming to rest on the back of my head, rubbing my scalp, lulling me to sleep.

***********************************************

Sun through shear curtains shines on my face, pulling me from sleep.

I roll away from the window reaching to the side that was occupied the night before, but my hand lands on cool, empty bedsheets.

I sit up and glance around the room. Not a trace of anything out of place. I listen for movement, but the apartment is silent.

I toss the blankets of and slip out of my room.

The blanket on the couch is neatly folded, there are no mugs on the coffee or side tables.

The kitchen is the same. No tupperware or jars, no pots on the stove. The sink is empty, or in the drainer.

The whole house is baren of any sign Eliot was in my apartment, let alone my bed.

Except for the the pot of coffee on my counter, the light still on.

***********************************************

Taglist: @fictional-hooman @skyeofbees @kimberkingrivers @spencereliotwinchester @padawancat97

#self indulgent #eliot spencer #eliot spencer x reader #christian kane #leverage #eliot spencer fanfic #ford!reader

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arroganceisherfavoritecolor · 1 year ago

Note

I will take ANYTHING with colin and/or rodrick (#I'm desperate i've read everything twice) Sorry if thats vague, but I'm like a garbage disposal and will take anything atp. Thank you if you look at this, have a great day/night!

Something about whats-her-name

"Mr. Heffley, whats got you daydreaming away in my class, hm?" Rodrick snapped back to reality, the brittle voice of his teacher shattering his thoughts about- wait... what was her name again? Oh, that's right, Y/n. Y/n L/n, how could he have already been in his 3rd year of high school and barely notice her? "Oh, sorry, it wont happen again" Rodrick said, like an idiot. The teacher simply rolled her eyes and went back to the lecture. As the teacher was talking, Rodrick went back to thinking of Y/n. Since they had just came back from winter break, Y/n must have moved her schedule around and ended up getting put into his 4th period English class. The seating chart app must have been on Rodrick's side when it was determining the new seating chart for the remainder of the year, because it had placed Y/n one person above him, but still in the row next to his, giving him a perfect view.

She was more than just gorgeous, more than ethereal, more than any word that Rodrick's pea-sized brain could come up with. She wasn't like all the other girls Rodrick had liked in the past, most of them quite prissy and rude. But Y/n? Y/n was cool, stylish and you could tell she was NOT just another brick in the wall. Although she was seen hanging out with Heather and her goons sometimes, you could tell she was nice. Rodrick knew she had an amazing personality, and he wasn't just saying that because he was totally head over heels for her. Every time he saw her from across the campus during lunch, she had that gorgeous smile of hers on her face. When he had asked his friends about Y/n, they had only good things to say about her. After a few weeks, Rodrick decided he HAD to get to know her, so he set up a plan.

Rodrick had came to the conclusion that he was going to throw a party that weekend. Since his parents and youngest brother would be gone, Rodrick felt it was the perfect (and probably only) opportunity to throw a sick ass party and impress the girl of his dreams. He sent out a group text in his schools group chat, which soon got screenshotted and posted on various social networking's. Most of the time, Rodrick didn't give a damn about what his peers thought of him. He had gone through all 11 years of school being seen as a dorky, emo weirdo. But now that Y/n was in the picture, Rodrick gave every damn and a bag of chips. He knew this kickback of his had to be off the hook, it was really his only chance to get Y/n to fall for him.. because y'know, he cant just go up to her and ask for her number or something... boy logic.

ˏˋ°•*⁀➷

The Heffley household was PACKED. Teenagers coming in like ants marching. 30 minutes after the party started, Rodrick chose to stop answering the door, and just leave it wide open. People were drunk, some partying it up inside the house, and others passed out in the yard. As he surfed through seas of people, Rodrick made his way to the backyard. There, he saw Y/n sitting on the porch, alone. He opened the sliding glass door, feeling the fresh air on his skin. Y/n turned around, eyes widened. They soon softened when she saw Rodrick. He stood there, looking down at Y/n. She smiled, scooting over to make some room for Rodrick. He smiled, sitting down next to her. Finally, he broke the silence. "So... am I interrupting something? Or are you only out here 'cus my party's lame?" Y/n smiled, Rodrick swore he could feel his pupils dilate. "Nah, of course not. It just really stuffy in there, needed a breath of fresh air." She broke eye contact with him, looking down at her drink. Rodrick saw it wasn't even beer, it was Coke. As he continued to stare at her, Rodrick realized that Y/n is even prettier up close. She turned her head to look at him, which made Rodrick snap out of his trance. "Is there something wrong?" Asked Y/n, her head cocked to the side. What kind of question was that? Of course there was something wrong. Rodrick is sitting outside with the girl hes been damn near stalking, ALONE, and he probably creeped her out because he can't keep his eyes off of her for two seconds. "No, nothing wrong. You're just.." Rodrick couldn't find it in himself to spit out what he so badly wanted to say. "I'm just what?" Y/n's eyebrows were furrowed, a confused expression on her face. "You're so beautiful" Oh shit. It just slipped out, he didn't even mean to say it. Her eyes were wide, her once confused face now turned surprised. "Oh- oh my god. I'm.. i-i'm so sorry Y/n i ju-" Rodrick's stammering of nonsense was cut off by Y/n's soft lips kissing his. Her hands found his face and thumbs gently began to stroke his cheek. Y/n pulled away, a sweet smile on her face. Rodrick's mouth was hanging open, speechless from what had just happened. "Whoa, okay uh, alright." Rodrick said, which made Y/n giggle, eyes scrunching up and sparkling. "I don't wanna sound conceited, but I know everything Rodrick. I can feel you staring at me during 4th period, I notice how you purposely walk by my table during lunch, I even see all the profile views you leave on my socials." With every word that came out of your mouth, Rodrick could feel his face getting warmer and warmer. "O-oh my god Y/n, I'm sorry." He covered his face with his hands, trying to hide the blush. You laughed and softly grasped his wrists, uncovering his cute face. Y/n looked into Rodrick's eyes, deep and dark and desperate looking. "I don't mind at all, Rodrick." She said, eyes switching from looking at his eyes to his lips. "Why didn't you ever talk to me sooner, Rodrick?" Oh lord, hearing his name coming from your voice sounded like music to his ears. "Well I mean, you're just so... I cant even think of a word. I guess I've just been intimidated by you, I didn't know how to approach you." Y/n's eyebrows raised. "Oh, is it because i'm just sooo scary and discouraging, that it took you 6 months to have a conversation with me?" Rodrick laughed, feeling the tension wearing off. "Well, I guess you cant be THAT scary since you just ate my face" Y/n rolled her eyes, gently slapping his arm. "Seriously though, I really like you Y/n, I know i'm a wuss for not talking to you sooner." Y/n smiled at him as she ran her fingers through his hair. "Kiss me again, Rodrick."

And so he did.

A/N: THIS IS NOT MY BEST WORK GUYS! Lowkey rushed bc school stuff lol (i'm dying inside) PLEASEEE request more stuff!! thank u so much for requesting @my-sibling-wears-a-muumuu !!

#rodrick heffley #rodrick heffley x reader #diary of a wimpy kid #doawk #rodrick x reader

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obiwansito · 19 days ago

Text

spineless in my tomb of silence

the great war - chapter one

read on ao3 𐐒𐐚 series masterlist 𐐒𐐚 general masterlist

pairing- obi wan kenobi x f!reader

word count- 5,02k

summary- after a few days of feeling bad, you discover something that will change your life forever. how will you explain it to obi-wan, if he is thousands of light years away?

tags for this chapter- angst, fluff, unplanned pregnancy, discussions about pregnancy, anxiety, minor discusions, intrusive thoughts.

a/n- welcome to the first chapter of tgw. buckle up, this will be a wild journey. this fic has been on my mind since march, and i have planned great things for it. enjoy <3

“Kriff.” You whispered, getting up from the refresher mat, wiping your mouth with the back of your hand. It was your second time vomiting so far this morning, and you had been like this for almost five days.

You had recently arrived from a long mission, and now you were on your break, stranded in the Jedi Temple teaching younglings.

Actually, you were grateful. You had spent nearly five months traveling across the Outer Rim to fight on the front lines, so finally getting back to your routine at home was a relief.

Of course, it had its cons. You had gotten used to seeing your partner, Obi-Wan, every day, as the council assigned you together on most missions because of your great teamwork. But unfortunately, he couldn't get a break, and was still in the Outer Rim with Anakin indefinitely.

Though deep down you were glad he wasn't here at the moment, as he constantly worried about you and you knew he would be worried if he knew you had caught an illness.

Or well, you wanted to think you were sick. But the timing of your period told you otherwise, and that had you quite worried. At first you thought you had eaten something bad, but you realized that your period was almost a month late. Maybe it was the stress of the war, or maybe....

You shook your head. No, it wasn't possible. That absolutely could not happen. It mustn't.

You decided to seek help from your closest friend outside the temple, the one you trusted the most and knew could help you with your little problem. Plus, as a bonus, she was the only one who knew about your relationship with Obi-wan.

The lift opened its doors, revealing a young woman sitting on the couch in her home. Her brown curls fell to the sides of her face, and a purple robe wrapped around her growing belly. It was Padme Amidala, senator of Naboo and your best friend.

Her face lit up when she saw you arrive, smiling at you and rising to give you a hug. “My dear! How have you been?”

“Padmé! Sorry for coming unannounced. To tell you the truth...I've been better. And you? How are you? And the baby?”

Your gaze lowered to your friend's baby bump.

When you arrived on Coruscant two weeks ago, you got the surprise of your life when you learned that your best friend was pregnant.

“ You're... what?!” Padmé laughed shyly, her hands caressing her swollen belly.

“It was a surprise to me, too. When I found out, I was alone and so scared. But now I'm more excited.”

“And Ani knows?”

Padmé exhaled, shaking her head. “No... How do you tell your secret Jedi husband that you're pregnant with his child by holo-call?”

You sighed. It was true, Anakin had also spent so much time away -even now- and hadn't seen his wife for nearly five months. Now you felt grateful that you had been able to spend so much time with Obi-wan. “If I've known Ani at all in the last thirteen years, I can assure you he'll go crazy. He loves you dearly, and I know he'll be very excited.”

Padmé looked at you with concern at what you said. “We're fine... But I'm beginning to wonder how much longer Ani will be out. I've had to live most of this pregnancy alone...” She complained, then looked at you, a little flushed. “Sorry, I'm just venting. Come, sit down. Would you like something to drink? I can tell Threepio to prepare something.”

You shook your head, sitting down next to her on the couch. “Oh no, dear, don't worry. I... well, I came to tell you something. Or rather, to ask you.”

“Sure, tell me.”

You gulped. Your heart was going a thousand miles a minute, this was about to become real. “How... how did you find out you're pregnant?”

She raised an eyebrow, hadn't expected that question. “Well... At first I was very queasy and throwing up, I also felt quite tired and my appetite had increased. I thought I was sick so I called a medical droid, and when he asked me the last date of my period I realized. Then he diagnosed me and well...here we are. why the question?”

You sighed, looking away. Apparently, your silence spoke for you, as Padmé gasped, bringing her hands to her mouth in surprise. “...You're joking, right?”

You shook your head, a knot in your throat. “I wish I was. But... I really don't know if I am... you know, or not.”

“What makes you think you are?

“For starters, I've been feeling exhausted these past few weeks. And a few days ago I started with nausea and throwing up. I thought I'd caught an illness or something, but today I checked my period calendar, and...”

“Kriff.”

“Yeah, kriff.’ You ran a hand through your hair, stressed. Now that you'd said it out loud, it was more real.

“All right, don't worry, I'm here to help you.” She rested her hand on your knee, with a reassuring look. “Here's what we'll do. I'll call a medical droid and he'll check you out. Don't worry, he's the one who attends to me, so none of this will leave from here.”

You nodded, your heart feeling warm from your friend's affection. “And whatever the result, you've got me. We're in this together, okay?”

You leaned in to hug her, whispering thanks. You felt tears threatening to come, you were so glad to have such an amazing friend like Padmé. Jedi were supposed to control their emotions, but right now you were failing a little bit at that. Maybe it was hormones... No. You had to think positive, it was probably something else, you weren't unlucky enough to get pregnant in the middle of a devastating war.

Half an hour later, you were lying on Padmé's bed, a medical droid examining you. “How long is your period overdue now?”

“Almost a month.” You mumbled. Padmé was sitting next to you, one hand on her belly and the other holding yours gently.

“Very well, I have your diagnosis.” Announced the droid after analyzing the results. “Miss... Naberrie?” you nodded. You had given Padmé's real last name so there would be no data of yours reaching the temple. “You are pregnant, approximately six weeks. Congratulations.”

Your heart dropped. You felt Padmé get up and escort the droid out, but your mind was elsewhere. This can't be happening. Your breathing was racing, your gaze fixed on one point in the room as your thoughts collapsed. What am I going to do? This is bad.

You were pale, an uncomfortable warmth running down your neck. Your eyes, wide open, couldn't focus on anything clearly. The air seemed to become thick, and it took you a second to breathe normally.

Padmé came back into the room and sat down across from you, but you didn't look at her. I'm going to be expelled from the Order... Obi-wan is going to leave me. I was so stupid. This can't be happening...

“Hey, hey. Look at me. It's going to be alright, okay?”

You didn't listen to her, you felt a storm in your head, messing up everything you had structured so perfectly. This isn't real. This can't be...

“Hey. Look at me, beautiful.” His hands were now on your cheeks, but you weren't reacting. You hadn't realized it, but you were crying.

Padmé called your name, and you finally snapped out of your thoughts. You looked at her, her eyes were wide and she was looking at you with concern. “Are you okay?”

“Yes... yes. I'm fine.” You wiped your tears away with the back of your hand, taking a deep breath. You were a Jedi, you couldn't let yourself get carried away with emotions like that. You had been raised not to.

“Alright...Listen to me.” She took your hands in hers. “It's going to be okay. You're going to tell Obi-wan?”

“Well...yes. But, I guess we're in the same boat now.” You let out a chuckle, even though you weren't having fun. “How the kriff do I tell my Jedi boyfriend that I'm pregnant when he's thousands of light years away?”

“Tell me.” Padmé sighed. “How do you think he'll react?”

“I don't know. I mean, it's not like we never brought it up.” Your mind wandered to a conversation they'd had months ago, in their quarters at the Negotiator. “We talked about our lives if we weren't... you know, Jedi Generals in a war that seems to have no end.”

“And what did you say?”

“We'd get married.” You smiled sadly. “We'd go to Naboo -sorry to steal your idea- and we'd have a cabin in Lake Country. Just us and nature.”

“That's beautiful. And the kids?”

“One or two.” You sighed, wiping away tears. “It was...a particularly difficult day, and we'd still be fighting the next day. We thought maybe, you know, it would be the end of us.” You shrugged. “So that's why we set about planning our life in an alternate universe.”

“Hey.” You looked at her. “It's still possible, you know, I've been planning... Maybe I shouldn't say this, but... Some senators and I want to end the war diplomatically. No more invasions, no more sieges. No more death. So our happy ending is still possible. Obi-wan and you, Ani and me. We can be free. Our children could be friends.” You both laughed. “It will be all right, you'll see.”

You nodded. Maybe you were indeed being pessimistic. It wasn't all over.

“There's something else.”

“Yes?”

“That day, Obi-wan told me something. He said that... If I wanted him to leave the Order, I just had to say the word. And he would do it.”

“That's good, isn't it? You can do that. I'll help you in any way I can.”

“No, no. It's just... I know he said it, and I know he means it. But he knows I would never ask him to do that.” You swallowed hard. “The Order is his life, Padmé. I've never seen a Jedi as dedicated as he is. I know, I know we break a thousand rules every day to be together, but besides that, he just... It's what he's made for. And I don't want to be the one to take that away from him.”

“Listen to me. Obi-wan loves you too much, my dear. I know you guys think you're better at hiding your relationship than we are, but it's the little details that make me realize how much he loves you. The way he looks at you, how he talks about you... Kriff, he doesn't know that I know, but when we're talking and he mentions you... I can tell he's deeply in love.”

You smiled, your heart felt warm. “You are more important than anything, more important than the Order, than everything. And he knows that. So you don't have to worry about that, okay?” she stroked your cheek. “It's going to be all right, dear.”

You sniffled, trying to hold back your tears. “Thank you, Padmé. Really. You're wonderful. You know how to comfort me so well, even though you're in the same situation.”

“You don't have to thank me, darling. You know I'm here for you. And I know you're here for me. We'll work it out. We don't need men if we have each other.”

You laughed, nodding and leaned in to hug her. She was right. No matter what happened, at least you'd always have your best friend by your side.

You stayed for another hour in Padmé's apartment, chatting and making plans for when her baby was born. She only had one more month to go, so she told you how she wanted to paint the baby's room at the Naberrie residence on Naboo.

It was past noon when you arrived at the temple. You had one more hour before your class with the younglings, so you would take advantage of it to go to the dining hall. Usually you would prepare something in your quarters, but you were tired. Hopefully, they would serve something good... Or at least something that tasted okay.

As you walked through the halls, you came across a couple of kids running around. Among them, was Kyla, a togruta from your class.

“Slow down, little ones. You might get hurt.”

“Sorry, master!”

The little girl came up to you. She was ten years old and one of the best in the class. “Master, you will teach us today, won't you?”

“That's right, dear.” You crouched down to be on her level. “Lightsaber training. Are you ready?”

“Yes!”

You laughed at her enthusiasm. “Good. I'll see you in class, okay?”

She nodded, and you patted her back, standing up as you watched her go.

You had met Kyla when she was still a little kid, about five years ago. At that time, the temple was a better place. Now everything felt dark, empty. The aftermath of such a terrible war.

"Fond of the little one, you have grown, hmm?" you jumped as you heard those words behind you. You turned around, finding the grand master of the Jedi.

“Master Yoda, you frightened me.”

“Distracted you are. Otherwise, with the force you would have detected me.”

“I'm sorry, Master. I was just watching the younglings... It grieves me to know that they are growing up in the midst of a war.”

“Worry, you must not. Our best effort, we give, so future generations suffer, they will not."

“You are right.”

“To the dining room, you were going?” He pointed down the hall.

“That's right, I'm going to get something to eat before my next class.”

"Leave you, I will, then. Good luck, Master."

You nodded, and gave a little bow to leave. But his voice calling your name stopped you again. "A Padawan, good for you, it would be."

Your eyes widened. “What do you mean, master?”

“If you wanted, Kyla your padawan could be. Small she is still, but in a couple of years she'll be ready.”

You smiled. Your own apprentice. “I would love that, master.”

"Settled, it is, then."

He walked away, leaving you alone. You thought for a moment about what having a Padawan involved. Of course, you would love it, and a Jedi had to have one sometime, yes or yes. You had been lucky enough to be promoted to Master for your front-line achievements, but that didn't mean you shouldn't have one anymore. And you adored Kyla, she was a very smart and strong kid. You would make a great team.

Your chest hurt. Although you were trying to avoid thinking about it, it was inevitable. You were pregnant. There was no way out of it, no easy solution. You couldn't stay in the Order once the Council found out.

But that was hurting you, because you wanted to train her. She had so much potential and you could help her reach her maximum.

You were going to have to abandon her and all your children, whom you adored as if they were your own.

You shook your head, dispelling those thoughts. You had to focus on the present, then you would figure out the rest.

As it turned out, you might have been better off preparing something yourself in your quarters. The food at the Temple was, as always, terrible.

You were about to finish your... whatever it was they had served you, when you were approached by a pink twi'lek. It was Sammi, one of your oldest temple friends. You had met when you were barely younglings, and though you had drifted apart when you became padawans, the friendship was still there.

She called your name, coming to sit next to you. “How have you been? I haven't seen you in a while.”

“I got back a couple of weeks ago, I was sent to be a part of the sieges in the Outer Rim.”

The twi'lek raised her eyebrows in surprise. “Wow. What's it like to be on the front lines?”

Sammi was a Jedi healer, and worked in the temple's medical center, assisting Head Medical Officer Vokara Che. Therefore, she hadn't been sent to fight in the war like you.

“It's... difficult. I know we've been at war for almost four years, but I'm still not used to it.”

“I understand. You're going to stay on Coruscant for a while?”

You sighed. “I hope so, but I wouldn't be surprised if the Council decides to send me back soon.” You glanced at the clock on the wall, you were already running late. “Kriff.”

You stood up, grabbing your tray. “I'd love to stay longer talking, but I have classes. We can meet some other time, catch up.”

She smiled at you, nodding. “Yes, please. We can hang out at 79s, I might run into that lieutenant from your battalion...what was his name, Bones?”

You laughed. Sammi had never been the type to follow the rules, but you couldn't judge her as you weren't innocent either. “Yes, Sams, it's Bones. I'll tell Forge to go with the boys. I heard around that he thought you were cute...”

You liked chatting with Sammi. You felt like a teenage Padawan again, not a Master Jedi General with a hidden pregnancy.

The temple was quiet when you left your last class. It was getting dark, the wind filtered through the wide windows and made you shiver. You had spent a good time with the younglings, those children were hungry for learning and you were more than happy to teach them everything you knew.

You were on your way to your room when you noticed someone approaching you. As you turned around, you found Plo Koon, your master. He called your name warmly.

“Master.”

“My dear. How have you been?”

“Very well, but a little busy. You know, teaching Younglings.”

He chuckled. “I can imagine. You have a gift with those little ones, you know?”

“I worry about them. And for their learning. I fear the war is diverting us from our beliefs as Jedi...”

“I understand why you think that. But don't torture yourself, it will all get better eventually.”

You smiled at him. You were grateful, you couldn't have had a better master. He had always supported you in everything, listened to you and gave you the best advice, even though you were no longer his apprentice.

“I was looking for you, actually.” You looked at him curiously. “I was sent to lead the battle in Cato Neimoidia. We leave in the morning.”

You nodded. In the last three years, you had grown used to farewells like that. “Give Wolffe my regards.”

“I will.” You had fought several times alongside your master and his battalion, so you had had the opportunity to get to know the commander. At first you didn't get along so well, but over time you had learned to deal with his strong personality.

You sighed. You could guess what would happen next. “Now, my child...” He took you by the shoulders affectionately. “As always, take care of yourself. Don't fight too much with the council, and be patient with the younglings.”

You felt like a Padawan again. “I will, Master.”

“And remember, don't let hard times detract from your peace. Emotions are part of you, but you must not let them control you.” You nodded, giving him a tight-lipped smile. He probably felt your stress in your bond. “I won't take up any more of your time, you must be tired.”

“You would never do that, master.” You both smiled at each other. “May the force be with you.”

“And with you, my old padawan.”

He watched you for a moment, his gaze transmitting a peace you had always admired. Then, with a final squeeze of your shoulders, he let you be on your way.

You closed the door to your quarters, you were finally home after a long day. After taking a long shower, and changing into your sleeping robes, you lay down on your bed with your datapad.

You had decided to do a few missing mission reports before going to sleep, but a message on your comlink distracted you. As you turned it on, Obi-wan's warm voice flooded your room.

“Hello, darling. Sorry I haven't checked in all day, I've been a little... busy. Anyway, I know it's already dark on Coruscant. If, hopefully, you're not asleep, give me a call. I have a lot to tell you.”

You smiled, dialing his contact. He answered immediately, looking very tired. His hair was slightly messy, he had dark circles under his eyes and a frown. But his gaze softened at the sight of you.

“Darling."

“Hey, love.” You nestled your holo-projector on top of some books. “Where are you?”

“In a utility closet on Yularen's ship.” You raised an eyebrow and he laughed a little. “ Apologies for making you call me so late. You must be busy.”

“Oh no, don't worry about it. I was going to try to report on some missions, but you know... it's really boring. I'd rather talk to you.”

“I'm glad to hear that.” He smiled, but it didn't reach his eyes. You could tell something was bothering him.

“Are you okay, how did the battle go?”

“It was quite alright. Anakin ended up saving us with a crazy strategy, as usual.”

“Sounds like something he would do.”

“Oh, you would have loved it. The 501st has some new jetpacks that... Sorry, I am rambling.”

“No, that's okay. Tell me about it.”

“No, it's just that...” He sighed. “Something happened, darling.”

Your chest sank. Those words could mean so many things, good or bad. You were mentally preparing yourself when Obi-wan spoke again. “Ahsoka called.”

Your eyes grew wide, staring at him in surprise. You hadn't heard from her since she left the Order, months ago. “What?”

“That's right.”

“And Ani... how is he?”

“In shock.”

“Maker.” You sighed. “And- What happened? Is she okay? In trouble?”

“She's fine. It's just...” He ruffled his hair, an action he did when he was stressed. “'Maul's been found.”

You looked at him silently for a few seconds. You sure looked a little dumb, your mouth hanging open in shock. It took you a while to find your voice again, muttering, “You must go get him.”

“We don't have any information yet. Right now, Ahsoka and Bo-Katan are coming, they'll give us all the information...”

“Wait. Bo-Katan? ...Kryze?”

He nodded. He didn't need to say anything else, for you knew very well who she was.

“Well then wait for them to arrive, and go with them. It's time to finish him off once and for all.”

“It's not that simple, love. And you know it.”

You frowned. “Maul has been causing damage for years. You have a chance to finally defeat him and... what are you waiting for, the council's approval?”

“From what they said, Maul is probably back on Mandalore. You know that because of its neutrality, the Republic can't interfere in the affairs of...”

“That's crap, and you know it, Obi-wan.” He looked at you, a mixture of confusion and surprise in his gaze. “Since the start of the war, we've interfered quite a few times in Mandalore's affairs. You've done it several times. Why not now?”

“It's different. We're talking about a possible siege and...”

“Then do it. I'll go help you myself, love. We're talking about Maul, the thing that has done you nothing but harm. He killed Qui-Gon, he killed Satine...”

From the way his expression changed, and even how he felt in the force, you realized you had come a bit far. You hadn't mentioned Satine since months ago, when Obi-wan had arrived from Mandalore, crying in your arms, for she had died while he was holding her.

“I'm so sorry, I got carried away, I...”

“It's alright.” He interrupted you. “You're right. I'll talk to the Council tomorrow, I'm sure we'll come to a conclusion.” He gave you a smile with his lips pressed together. “Now... can we change the subject?”

“Of course.” You nodded, and his gaze softened.

“How have you been, how's life on Coruscant?”

Your hand automatically rested on your belly. Shit, with so much that had happened, you had forgotten the small detail of your pregnancy. You were thankful Obi-wan could only see your face, otherwise he definitely would have noticed your action.

“Well... They put me back to teaching the little ones. Kyla's gotten a lot better with her lightsaber.”

“Oh yeah?” You had told him about the little one a while back. It was obvious she was one of your favorites.

“Yep. And... I talked to Master Yoda.” He raised an eyebrow. “She can probably be my Padawan. When she's older, in a year or two.”

Obi-wan smiled at you at what he said. “That's amazing, darling. You'll see, having a padawan isn't all it's cracked up to be...”

“Oh well, you say that because you taught Anakin. That's just bad luck, darling.”

They both laughed. “You say that like you weren't his adventure partner growing up. I swear, Plo Koon and I were seriously done.”

“Isn't that a little weird?”

He tilted his head. “What is?”

“That...well, you and I are dating. I mean...you could have been my master. I grew up next to your Padawan. Isn't that weird?”

“It's very different, darling.”

“Why?”

"Well, first of all, you could never have been my Padawan. You're older than Anakin, and I agreed to train him because... you know." No need to bring up past traumas here. "The relationship between a Master and his Padawan is an incredibly sacred thing, and it's nothing like the bond we have. Besides, we barely spoke back then. You were with your friends, with Anakin or with your Master. And we noticed each other when the war started. So no, I wouldn't say it's that weird." He paused. "Darling? Are you listening to me?"

You shook your head, snapping out of your mind. You were distracted by his beauty. It sounds cliché, yes, but you could listen to this man talk for hours and never get tired of it. Shit, you missed him so much.

"Oh, yes. But not everything you say is true."

"What do you mean?

"Mmm, well, maybe, and just maybe, I had a crush on you when I was a teenager."

Obi-Wan let out a surprised chuckle. "Really?

"Yes... But it was a platonic crush. I never thought anything would actually happen."

You were both silent, just admiring each other for a few seconds. You had been through so much, but yout love only felt stronger.

"I miss you." Obi-Wan whispered, looking tenderly at you.

Your chest filled with warmth. You had been stressed all day and hadn't thought about how much you missed your dear. "I miss you too."

And it dawned on you, you could tell him. It was Obi-Wan after all. Maybe it wasn't the best news to deliver through a holocall, but you knew you could work it out together. You trusted him more than anything.

You were about to say something to him when voices came out of the hologram.

"Kark. It's Anakin." He whispered. "He's going to find me with the Force, I have to get out of here."

But before he hung up, he looked into your eyes again. "Rest, my love. I love you."

You smiled at him and replied, "I love you too," before the hologram disappeared.

The sun was just rising when you woke up. It was still early, so you took your time to shower, get ready, and even make a small breakfast before heading out.

The morning was quiet, some Jedi were walking around with their datapads, Padawans and Younglings were rushing to their first classes of the day. You considered going out into the courtyard to meditate, as it helped clear your mind.

What you enjoyed most about being in the temple was the peace. With every step you took, you felt a deep calm, something that was characteristic of the Order.

But as you walked, something changed. At first it was so slight that you hardly noticed it. You felt it in the Force, a slight pulse, a dark echo. It was cold, something that barely touched the edges of your mind, but there it was.

The further you went, the more the perfect silence was broken. The lights seemed to dim and there was something heavy in the atmosphere. You noticed that your footsteps slowed a little, and a tension began to form in the back of your mind. It was as if the air was charged with something you couldn't see, but was ready to burst forth.

And then you heard it. A buzzing sound that grew louder as the seconds passed. It became a thunderous and intense sound. You looked up at the sky, and your gaze was filled with horror as you discovered the source of the sound.

Ships. Dozens of ships invading the planet.

The temple was tense. Jedi and Padawans stopped and looked at each other, all as confused as you were.

The buzzing became a roar. More ships, closer and closer.

A tremor shook the ground as the first explosion was heard in the distance. In a second, screams broke the silence and sirens began to wail.

Without thinking, you began running toward the center of the temple. You had barely processed the chaos when you saw Mace Windu, walking steadily, his face really serious. More than it had been since you had known him.

"Master Windu." You approached. You had barely noticed that you were trembling. "What is going on?"

He looked at you, his dark eyes telling you the gravity of the situation. "Grievous is here." He announced. "Coruscant is under attack."

And in that moment, you knew everything would change.

#dividers by @saradika graphics #obi wan x reader #the great war #star wars #obi wan kenobi #star wars fanfiction #the clone wars #fanfiction #x reader #obi wan kenobi x reader #writers on ao3 #writers on tumblr #star wars smut

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musings-of-a-rose · 2 years ago

Text

Mistake - Part 2

Pairing: Frankie Morales, Santiago Garcia, F!reader

Word Count: 2500+

Rating: Mature - 18+ ONLY!

Warnings: Just like ao3, “creator chooses not to use warnings.” If you click Keep Reading, that means you agree that you’re the age to handle mature themes. Also by clicking Keep Reading, you understand warnings may not be complete in order to avoid spoilers for the story.

Notes: I never planned to write a part 2 for Mistake, but so many people asked me for one, I felt compelled to write it! A HUGE thanks to @mermaidxatxheart for literally saving my ass on this one. Seriously, go thank her and while you’re there, binge her writing!

**If you want to be added to the taglist, join here or let me know!

❤If you enjoy the fic, please consider giving me a warm beverage! (It is not required in any way!)

**Reader is not described

Main Masterlist

Frankie Morales Masterlist

Santiago Garcia Masterlist

<<Mistake Part 1<<

It's been 6 weeks since I've talked to Santi or Frankie. I've been begging Santi to talk to me, apologizing to a now full inbox, flooding his phone with texts. He's not as his usual spots whenever I manage to get the courage to try and find him. The guilt has made me physically sick, exhausted all the time from just thinking about it.

And then there's Frankie.

As much as I've tried to reach out to Santi, Frankie has tried to reach me. On one hand, it's hard not to talk to him. He's been my best friend since forever. I've been in love with him nearly that entire time, and apparently the feeling is mutual.

But the way we had to find out was fucked up.

I never wanted to hurt Santi. I do love him, but if I'm being honest with myself, I didn't love him the way he deserves. It's like he was the closest thing I could get to Frankie.

Bile rises in my throat, my stomach churning and I run to the bathroom, just barely making it to the toilet before emptying my breakfast into it. It's been like this for a couple of weeks, my guilt taking over my body physically to match the way my heart feels. All I'd need now to top off this fuck me fest is my period-

Wait. When did I have that last?

I whip out my phone, quickly tapping on my calendar app, looking for the red dots indicating the start of my cycle. Once I find them, I quickly count the weeks and realize I'm nearly a month overdue for my period.

"There's no way."

I skim the calendar, locating the day that we had our combined bachelor/ette parties and…fuck it's totally possible. Fuck fuck fuck!

After I finish vomiting yet again, I manage to get myself out of the house and to the pharmacy up the street, sort of floating through the aisles to pick up a box of pregnancy tests. I silently pay for them and the woman hands me my bag, offering a small smile and a "Good luck," to me under her breath.

I get home and head straight into the bathroom, determined not to drag this out. I'm just sick from the horrible shit I've put Santi through. That has to be it. My mind goes a million places all at once, until the little timer on my phone goes off. Taking a deep breath, I flip the test over.

PREGNANT

I stare at the word as it stares back at me, taking several long seconds before I actually take it what I'm seeing. Pregnant. I'm pregnant. There's a baby in me right now. And it's…

There was only 1 person I had sex with at that time, as Santi and I were on a temporary hiatus until after the wedding.

"Of fucking course!" I yell at the universe, once again throwing a curveball in the path that is my relationship to Frankie.

Frankie. Fuck, what is he going to say? He already has a kid from an ex wife. An ex wife he hates. I don't want to be like her, forcing Frankie into something he doesn't want. But what do I want?

A quick text to my friend and she's coming over for drinks. Well, one of us is drinking anyway.

—-

"I'm sorry, you're what??" My friend Olivia spits out, handing me a napkin for the drink she just spit at me.

"Pregnant."

"Yeah I heard you I just…are you sure?"

I nod. "I took several tests. I have my OB appointment next week and-"

"Wait. You're keeping it?"

I take a breath, eyes scanning my living room. "Yeah."

Olivia looks at me. "You think Santi will come back?"

I play with the condensation on my glass of water. "It's Frankie's."

Olivia slams her hand on the table. "What? From that night?"

I nod and she lets out a whistle. "Are you gonna tell him?"

"I don't-"

Suddenly, I hear footsteps on my porch. Confused, as I wasn't expecting anyone, I get up, Olivia following behind me as I open the door.

"Hey."

My stomach drops completely out as I stare up into the eyes of my ex fiance.

"S-Santi."

His eyes scan my face, dipping quickly down my body. "Can I come in?"

"I uh.. s-sure."

I step back, allowing Santi to come into my home. He gives me a small smile and holds up his finger.

"Wait a sec." He looks back out towards my driveway.

I hear more footsteps on my porch and then he's there, curls flipping out from under a hat, hands in his pockets because he doesn't know how to deal with the tension.

"Come on, man. Don't just stand there." Santi walks past me and grabs his arm, pulling him inside. We all stand there in an awkward silence for several long moments before Santi clears his throat.

"Can we talk?"

"Y-yeah."

Santi follows me into the kitchen, Olivia giving me a questioning look as I pass her. I honestly have no idea what's going on and am having a hard time processing everything that's happening. I offer Santi a drink, but he declines, leaning against the counter and crossing his arms.

"I'm sorry," Santi says with extreme sincerity.

Well that was unexpected.

"What?"

"I've been thinking these last few weeks and I've realized a lot of shit. I love you, querida, and I always will. But I think I loved the idea of you more."

"Again, what?"

"Look, I… I won't lie. When I saw you there with Frankie…that fucking hurt. I mean destroyed me." He puts a hand out as I open my mouth to apologize.

"Just let me talk… anyway, I realized through the pain that what I was missing most was a wife, the commitment to someone to start a life with. Not you, exactly. I mean it…it still fucking hurts, but I'm not… I'm not mad. Anymore.” He takes a moment to gather himself and me? I’m just…I have no words.

“Querida, you deserve someone who loves you for you. Who wants to be with you and not just because it’s easy. Frankie is that. No, don’t look at me like that, he is. I… I knew he was in love with you, even with all the shit that happened with Claire, and I knew how you felt. It wasn’t hard to figure out - you’re both idiots.” He chuckles a little sadly and I feel tears starting to burn at the corners of my eyes. “I really should have never pursued you, but when Frankie got Claire pregnant and then married her, you looked so sad and I just…I wanted to take care of you. Take that hurt away-”

“And you did! You-”

“That’s good to know…Anyway, I reached out to Frankie and he tells me you aren’t talking to him? That you hate him?”

I dab furiously at my eyes, trying to get them to stop leaking, but I nod. “He lied, Santi. We both did. He knew I was c-calling your n-name and he k-kept going. And I f-figured out w-what I was d-doing and started c-calling out his n-name, and I just, Santi I am s-so s-s-sorry, and n-now I c-can’t s-stop c-crying!”

Santi swallows hard, then closes the distance between us, wrapping me in his arms, letting me soak his shirt as my shoulders shake. He shushs me, rocking me slightly to get me to calm down. Eventually, I do, somehow managing to contain myself and these pregnancy hormones.

Ah, fuck. The pregnancy. Do I tell Santi? No, I have to talk to Frankie first.

“Querida, you have to talk to Frankie.”

I look up at him, pushing away from him and wiping my eyes. “No. I-I can’t.”

“If you’re worried about me, don’t be. I didn’t go through all of this self discovery to not have the 2 most important people in my life be together when they’re so very obviously still in love with each other.”

“Santi, I cheated on you with him. I can’t just forget-”

“Look. It wouldn’t have happened if it were anyone else and I know that. I knew better and I shouldn’t have asked you out. Just…talk to him? For me?” He raises his eyebrows at me until I agree. He smiles, giving me one last hug and kissing the top of my head.

I’m still not sure what’s happening, not entirely. Santi showing up and forgiving me was not on my bingo card for this lifetime.

Santi turns and walks out of the kitchen and I follow him, walking into the living area where Olivia and Frankie were making idle chit chat.

“Hey Fish, I’m gonna head out. It’s all good- no. You stay here.” Santi glances up at Olivia and his entire demeanour changes, like he just noticed, really noticed she was here.

“Oh. Uh, yeah I’m heading out too,” Olivia says, meeting Santi’s gaze. “And you can take me to dinner. I’m starving.”

Santi smiles at her. “I’d love to.”

They leave, Frankie and I staring in shock at the closed door for several moments before I shake my head, moving to lock the door. I take a breath and turn around to see Frankie standing there, nervously shifting from foot to foot, lifting the hat from the top of his head and running his fingers through his hair.

Fuck he’s so hot.

“Did…did Santi tell you everything?”

I nod, my arms wrapping around myself. “He did.”

“Kind of wild, wasn’t it?”

“I mean, whatever works for him. He seems to be doing ok.”

“Yeah.”

Silence stretches between us for several long moments.

“Hermosa, I- I’m sorry. Really. I shouldn’t have…I should’ve stopped-”

I sigh. “Yeah, but I knew, Frankie.”

“You what?”

“When you left, I started remembering more. At first I thought you were Santi but I did realize it at some point and then just…changed to saying your name. I wasn’t thinking straight because I love you, and then-”

Frankie’s eyes snap to mine. “You love me?”

“I-” I look at him. Time to confess everything.

“I..do.”

Frankie smiles, but then remembers we’re supposed to be serious, so he drops it. “I love you too.”

I study his face, the worry in his eyes, the patches in his beard. I have to tell him, even if it pushes him away.

"Come sit with me?" I ask nervously, moving around to sit on the couch.

"Yeah. Yeah, ok." Frankie sits next to me, smoothing out his pants several times before settling.

Fuck, this is hard.

"Hermosa, I-"

"I'm pregnant."

Frankie freezes, mouth open mid word as his brain tries to process what I said.

"P-pregnant?"

I nod. "Yup."

Several long moments pass between us, the air charged with tension.

"Well…I.. I hope you and Santi can.. get back together. For the… the baby."

My eyebrows pinch together, my head slightly cooking to the side. "What?"

"Santi. I mean, I know he said he loves the idea of you more, but I think, or hope that would change with you carrying his child."

Oh. He doesn't realize.

"No, Frankie. It's not… the baby is yours."

His eyes grow wide, searching my face for a lie. "Wh-what? Are you sure?"

I nod. "Santi and I had promised no, uh, no sex for the month leading up to the wedding. So-"

"That night."

I nod. "Yup." I emphasize the p sound.

"Listen, Frankie, I've thought about it a lot and… I'm keeping the baby. And you can be as involved as you want or not involved-"

To my surprise, he's smiling, growing wider by the second and his eyes are all watery, like he's holding back tears.

"Frank-"

"We're having a baby?"

"Yes. But did you hear-"

"Together? You and I?"

"Yes, that's what I said. Frankie, are you listening to-"

He lets out a small laugh, the smile lighting up his whole face and I swear he chokes back a "whoop". He takes my hand in his and the warmth from it immediately starts to calm me. His other hand comes up to the side of my face, his large fingers curving around the back of my head as his thumb softly rubs at the skin of my cheek. His eyes move between mine and then down to my lips and before I can think, he's in front of me, our lips just barely out of reach.

"Can I kiss you?" Frankie whispers, and I can't think of anything else besides how much I want him.

"Yes."

His lips push against mine gently, his fingers tightening their grip as he increases the pressure, sliding his tongue into my willing mouth.

"Wait." I push back from him and he trails after me, eyes confused.

"Did I hurt you?"

"No but Frankie, I think we need to talk about the baby in my uterus."

"What's there to talk about?"

My eyebrow raises. "Seriously?"

He smiles, nodding. "I'm all in, hermosa. Always. As much as you'll have me or want me to be."

"But you already have a daughter with someone else."

"So our baby will have a sister already."

"What about Claire?"

Anger flashes in his eyes. "What about her?"

"Will she be ok with this?" I gesture to my stomach. "With us?"

"I don't give a fuck what she thinks of us- wait. There's an us?"

"I-I-" Time to throw your last card on the table, the one you'd never lay down if it wasn't for Santi giving you permission.

"If.. if you don't think me and the baby would cramp your style."

He laughs, smiling wide for a few seconds before his eyes get a little darker, his voice dropping an octave or two.

"I'd put a hundred babies in you if you'd let me."

"Yeah?"

"Yeah. I love you, Hermosa."

—-

With Santi's enthusiastic insistence, we get married a few months after our son is born.

And Santi marries Olivia the following year, starting on that life he always wanted.

-------

General Taglist:

@frankie-catfish-morales @chaoticgeminate @janebby @astoryisaloveaffair @balekanemohafe @greeneyedblondie44 @hoeforthefictional @marvelousmermaid @hauntedmama @giuliarogers @icanbeyourjedi @wretchedmo @sunnshineeexoxo @livingmydreams13 @adventures-of-a-noodle @sara-alonso @theewokingdead @punkerthanpascal @giggly-otter @f0rever15elf @phandoz @dirtytissuebox @gallowsjoker @lovesbiggerthanpride @sarahmilesbendrix @booksarekindaneat @mrsudontknowme @swol-bear @charlispersonallyhell @xoxabs88xox @amneris21 @gooddaykate @alindeluce @avengers-fixation @paintballkid711 @harriedandharassed @ladykatakuri @marrianena @practicalghost @withakindheartx @batdarkladyvampir @justanotherkpopstanlol @alexxavicry @ichigodjarin @justreblogginfics

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tankgotstuckinthecircusgate · 2 months ago

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girls sorry that almost everything i write bout m2 is either gloomy either cruel (or sometimes unrealistically happy) & u write like ahh tragedy

bc i dont know fr the last time i was happy ig were a brief periods in 2018 & 2021 that ended quickly and after that all these periods of energy & joy were through gritted teeth actually and yk i asked my friend do you think how we're feeling rn can be called depression n she answers fkin of course bc i cant even treat this as depression like to me it's just acceptance that yes every day you feel such an unbearble pain and agony but like. this is just the way life's turning out. genuinely not funny at all. i feel like everything around me slowly dies and ofc you can't help but wonder "when it'll be my turn?" not in a way you wanna die (tho this sometimes too) but like that this is something inevitable. i don't drink but i smoke and ik that it fucked up my health i've been smoking 3 yrs now and i sometimes wonder when the most awful consequenses will show up but i can't quit bc literally what else i can do. and your eyes hurt from witnessing this life my eyes water constantly bc life hurts so much. bc you don't have the chance to have a life you're literally just surviving and it's such a big achievement that you're simply alive & dont kys. before i had some hopes for the future but now i understand that it's better not to have any - bc this hope just hurts even more. it's not only bout the war & goverment etc but mundane simple life as well bc so much things are out of your control. and the ones that is under - god you have no strength. yes genuinely this isn't funny at all. i learn to enjoy simple things in this life. seeing my friend almost daily brings me so much joy. this is such a big happiness to me. and seeing my other friends or just ppl that are dear to me. it's a big thing. art is also the other thing that is left that makes this life bearable tho i know since the 2nd part of 2023 i started to work in the drawer again. i have no strength to do otherwise honestly. call this pathetic but genuinely you'll be so wrong for calling this pathetic. tho sometimes i do feel this. yk yesterday i saw some of my classmates and i see that they can afford some bigger things like travelling and the only thing i can afford is a metro card. and yes you feel pathetic for this. genuinely i do such a big work for going out from the shell and seeing not only my closest friend. bc this hurts and i can't blame mslf for this anymore. the things i despise mslf for is the bursts of inner agression but thank god for my meds and self-control so i show this less that i've could & sorry if my agression somehow shows i try my best genuinely. anyway bout life. yes witnessing this hurts bc you feel like you're already dead. you wanna smile faintly and laugh quietly at urslf. sometimes it feels like this frame from filth when he looks at the camera w a wicked smile and watering eyes and then hangs himself. yes this is the most exact depiction (sometimes it feels more like nina's look from one of the final scenes where she gives up on everything and returns to her sick mother. she has no choice. same thing for me). but just for the record i've never watched filth so this is just my personal interpretation of that scene. maybe thank god that it doesn't feel like that look from tennenbaum family where he looks in the mirror and says "i'm gonna kill mslf tomorrow". ik that i'll stay here as long as i'm supposed to. tho yesterday i felt that completely delulu thing (i perfectly understand that this is a delusion) that maybe if i'd kms it'd be easier for everyone bc i feel like a very heavy person rn. i can't talk about good things (well i can actually! i do talk about it. i sometimes stay positive and not neutral) and yk my grandfather killed himself. my grandma once said to me that she felt relieved after he did. i though the same bout mslf yesterday (i felt this pretty often after she said this to me, it was in 2021) bc i know i know that probly he and me are much alike alas. idk fr idk

#tw suicide mention #yeah sometimes it wanna make me laugh how many things trigger pain in me lately. a bit of ridiculous. why ppl are like this?#we're a funny creatures #sorry yesterday i felt like this bc this was a big huge combo of such things #bout agression i need to confess that so often i feel like in a “prelude” from “preludes”:#And I'd pound on the wall; And yell “Stop! Stop! Stop!”#And I'm sure he thought I was some asshole; Who doesn't like music #genuinely this song is so real. esp for 2023:#'That now whenever I go to a party. And see a piano in the room; I tense up; Just waiting for it—'#'What if that was the one best thing that I'll ever do; And I spend the rest of my life; Just getting worse" <-#genuinely yeah. it was a self-fulfilling prophecy

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violentlyexplosive · 6 months ago

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not to be Vulnerable On Main, but I'm going through it and need to vent my thoughts into the internet aether where i can pretend the people reading it aren't real. um. trigger warning for sad animal stuff and some mentions of blood, sh, and sa.

pet loss is so weird. like. i keep waking up at 5 am, half asleep, like "ah yes, i have to get up and let the dog out now" but then there is no dog. i had never had her as my phone background until she died. i keep looking to the couch every time i walk into the living room and there is no dog there. i look behind myself when i move around the kitchen so i don't step on her but there is no dog behind my feet. i go on a walk every day at 8 pm because i cannot fathom a routine without her. every time i pass the neighbourhood kids i hold my breath, cus is this going to be the time they ask? am i going to have to explain to a gaggle of six year olds that the dog had to go away? where she went? am i going to have to be the one to say it because my father is older and softer now and will cry? do i get to cry?

I've never been close to my extended family, and it's always baffled me when others would talk about grieving their grandparents. somehow a part of me views it as, idk, a lesser grief? not in the sense that i don't believe you should grieve your family members, no matter how many degrees of separation between your bloodlines, but because it is simply not something i have or will ever experience as a product of my upbringing and culture. i already struggle with empathy on a good day, having been medicated since pre-puberty, and i just can't... understand this form of grief. i do not think less of it, i just can't find the shape of it.

and i feel sort of similar in this? like. this stupid fucking dog was in my life from 13 years old to nearly 21. she saw me through ugly, awkward haircuts and acne and my first bad period and watched me harm myself and come home traumatised with invisible hands tattooed onto my skin forever. we got her to help me with my debilitating social anxiety/agoraphobia and depression. she got me out of the house and forced me to talk to people to explain "oh I'm sorry, she barks at men, we think she was abused as a puppy" and laid in bed with me when i was too sick or pained to get out of it. and in return, i held her during thunderstorms and fireworks, wiped her mouth and ass when she threw up or pissed the bed. i slept on the couch with her when she couldn't make it up the stairs after surgery, then again years later when she got too old and sick. i hand fed her when she didn't have the energy, i spit water into her mouth when she couldn't get up to drink it herself, i kissed her little, golden head every time she gagged on the pills i had to force down her throat because no amount of ham or cheese or peanut butter could make her swallow them. she was clever like that, in the dumbest ways possible.

and it's so fucking weird without her. i never realised how much my routine revolved around her until she wasn't there to cry at me to feed her anymore. and i feel stupid for feeling so broken up over a dog of all things. like i said, a lesser grief. animals come and go, i know this. have known it since i lived in the countryside and saw my first dead deer, since i had to kill an injured bird for the first time. i knew she was going to go, and i knew it was going to happen soon. i knew the moment the vet called to say she had blood in her tummy because i hung up and screamed. i screamed. over a dog? over the one thing in life i knew how to love right.

i dont know. I'm ovulating, and it's been officially seven days since she said goodbye, tail wagging to the very fucking end. it's too quiet at home, and my mother (mentally unstable narcissist that she is) is already talking about wanting to get another dog. we have a 12kg bag of food and two pallets of canned stuff that came a couple days after she went, that im going to donate. i carried the 40kg ball of fluff and blood to the vet, 12 is nothing after that. i take solace in the fact that i believe in god not in the abrahamic way, but that god is the universe and everything within, and that energy cannot be created or destroyed, meaning she's still out there somewhere. maybe if i listen really hard I'll hear her again.

#pets #pet loss #dog loss #grief #dealing with grief #tw grief #grief poetry #tw death #tw blood #vent #sorry lol

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missanne · 7 months ago

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news romantics- the great war pt¹

author's notes: I've been feeling sick lately, I'm starting to get used to a new routine, and I'm working for an average of 12 hours a day, I think I'll make 3 updates here before putting a new chapter on ao3, thank you for your affection and understanding, remember to drink water and thank you again for not giving up on me

The classes were going well, but the one who wasn't was YN. She had the feeling that she was being watched from every corner. In the second period, when she left to go to the bathroom, she could feel that the moment she got up, the conversations stopped. Of course, she tried to tell herself that it was just her imagination, but she was so lost in her thoughts that she couldn't approach anyone in her class. Until she felt a hand on her shoulder, when she looked: _ Excuse me, can I be paired with you? I'm Hana Higasa… _ Yes, you can, I'm YN, nice to meet you; I just apologize, I was a little lost… _ We're going to have to present the ancient period in literature, it was the only one left… and since we're the only ones in a pair, I suggest we start doing it as soon as possible… _ I agree, do you want to go to the library?

On the way to the library, the girl talked more about the work. There would be a knowledge fair and the course would be responsible for taking a trip back in time and telling the history of national literature. At this moment, YN's mind was bubbling with ideas, and when they got to the library, they started to plan. Lost in their plans, the girls didn't notice the arrival of the white-haired boy who had watched the finale and was excited. He didn't know why, there was something about YN that sparked his interest. It was like a bittersweet candy where the mix of sensations made him numb and wanting more. So he slowly approached and quickly lowered his hands on the girl's shoulders, saying: BOO! YN gets scared and this definitely makes Satoru's day. She starts to laugh uncontrollably, supporting herself with her hands on her stomach. After the scare, she turns around and angrily starts to talk to Hana: Let's get out of here, otherwise this idiot will never let us finish. And amidst the laughter, the boy remembers the reason for his trip to the library: No, wait YN, everyone is waiting for you at the cafeteria and I came to get you… Really? So why didn't Shoko send me the location on my phone? _ I wanted to come here… While the two argued, Hana watched them and decided that she liked them as a couple. She coughed and called their attention: _ So, I'll see you tomorrow, after class, is everything okay? _ Oh, yes, Hana, of course, but I'm sorry you had to witness this… _ No problem, I promise I won't be late tomorrow, when I get to my dorm I'll send you a message, kisses - and so she left with her stuff, and when Yn looked back at Gojo, he already had his stuff in his hands and a pitiful look on his face: _ Let's go, Yn, or we'll be even later! The path to the cafeteria was short, but very beautiful. There were trees that together formed an arch and in the middle of each one there were cherry trees. The sound of the birds was comforting and so neither of the two young people spoke for that short period, enjoying the view and the sounds. The cafeteria was a cozy place, but looking inside, Yn didn't see any of her friends, but before Gojo could say anything, he took her hand and led her to a private place. _ Where are the guys? Didn't you say everyone was waiting for me? _ Yeah, I lied, sorry _ What do you mean? For what? _ U Yn, so I can go out with you, of course _ Do you feel guilty? _ Hi? _ Do you feel guilty about the kidnapping that happened on the first day? _ Satoro's face was serious, although he expected the girl to understand the situation, he didn't think she would actually bring up the subject. _ It's not your fault, you know, I already expected this… , but I was your companion… I was supposed to protect you! It's okay, you saved me and now we're here, that's what matters… , but yn, I have the ability to protect you and I failed in that… look, I'm going to tell you for the last time, even if we have the intention of achieving something and an unshakable trust, it's okay to make mistakes, making mistakes is part of our humanity and recognizing and growing from our mistakes is even more human… do you understand? _ yes, and look, you have a very powerful way of saying things, who taught you that?

_ you know I don't know? that sentence was just in my mind… but changing the subject, what's your favorite sweet and a food you'd like to try _ any sweet and cheese bread and yours? _ seriously? It's mine too, but I've already eaten cheese bread and it's definitely my favorite.

They talked all afternoon and, amid sweets and warm laughter, they got to know each other better. When it was 6:40 p.m., they were walking back to the dormitory. As they climbed the stairs of the college, they stopped several times to admire nature. At sunset, INN noticed how Satoru looked so naturally handsome and yet so unnatural. In the midst of the intense green color, he stood out like an angel. The golden and orange color of the sunset, above all, made him even more worthy of his angelic presence. When he noticed that he was being observed, he asked why. While she laughed at his reaction to discovering that he had walked halfway across campus with his mouth covered in pink whipped cream, she realized that she was home. At the end of the climb, the sky turned pink and purple, and the crickets and fireflies gave the place a magical air. In the thoughts of the white-haired boy, INN's laughter was purely the meaning of life, but there was a strangeness inside him, because how could he have such deep feelings for a person he had just met? Denial was the glass dome and those feelings were flowery fields, well at least she had all the time in the world to understand that. _ What are you thinking so much about? _ Huh? _ You've been very thoughtful since we arrived, by the way, where's Shoko? I haven't seen her yet. _ Ah yn, I'm trying to come up with a new joke so I can hear your laugh again, about Shoko? She must be at some lecture those monsters made us watch, let's have a skincare night, is that what you were going to do?

The night was calm, the moon was full and in her mind the girl didn't see how a night could go wrong, or that she would do something she would regret; so without further ado she accepted. She didn't even find it strange that he knew her plans, after all how could everything go wrong?

#jjk #jjk gojo #gojo satoru #jjk x reader #jjk fanfic #jjk fluff #jjk imagines #jujutsu kaisen #gojo satoru x you

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shadytrashcollector · 5 months ago

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I haven't been active cuz I got the book of bill but look cool stuff

Okay so on the website if you type NAITSUAF on the computer you'll get to see a contract to sell your soul

Sorry not sorry the image is bad quality

I was bored so I decoded the fine print*, which goes as follows**:

"This contract is legal and binding. We reserve the right to use your likeness, face, voice and small town pluck in whatever nefarious manner is deemed necessary. Sans soul. Your soulmate will not recognize you and will walk right past you on a cold autumn day, never making eye contact, not even processing that you have eyes at all. No amount of interaction will move them to a place where they can remember, in feeling, the thousands of lifetimes you have already spent together, each time choosing whatever form would keep you closest like otters holding hands in a tumultuous river. You were birds, you were trees with roots entangled, drinking in the sunlight together. 'Wherever we go next, whatever you choose, I will always be right there with you." Thats done, buddy. Congratulations! You have chosen Bill instead. McDonalds reserves the right to put a giant yellow M on your torso and forehead and send you walking through a crowded times square while you scream "THE FRIES! THE FRIES! THEY DON'T DEGRADE IN NATURE!!! IT'S AN IMMORTAL FOOD!!! THEY WILL BE IN THE LANDFILLS LONG PAST OUR DEATHS!! Good God, the things I've seen" Me, who am I? Oh I'm Bill's previous lawyer. He put my soul into a quill pen so I can write his legal documents until the sun snuffs out like a candle in this sick universe. I used to be so hot. I was so fine. Now I'm fine print. Speaking of which, Bill reserves the right to put your soul into an inanimate object, a strange creature, a concert, a sentence, a tasteful but rustic mason jar with wildflowers in it. If at any point you wish to have visitation rights with your soul, you will be swiftly denied. Unless you had a cool day planned for the both of you, then Bill might want to come along. By signing this document you forfeit any rights to eating soul food. It will turn to ash in your mouth, a fitting punishment for a fool who squandered the only true gift life owes you. Bill reserves the right to dress your soul however he deems necessary, especially if your soul was a nerd before acquisition. Soulmakoverrr! Your soul may become fractured and placed into different objects. This has no purpose and will not resurrect you if you die. Signee has forfeited all rights to any afterlife, including but not limited to: Heaven, hell, purgatory, big corner,flow state, the dream house, the reincarnation processing center, Axolotl's tank and consequences hole. Signee can no longer board the soul train and is advised to discard all bellbottoms. Signee can no longer have a puppy as a best friend. They can sense what is gone. Cats are indifferent. Signee may experience occasional demon possessions from Horculus the Red, Plabos the Merciless, Morbus Son of Mortem, Plaga the Oozing and other such common demons roaming earth searching for weakened, empty vessels. Tips for ripping your soul out at home: Watching YouTube commentary channels, attending an extended family event with an open bar, using generative AI and asserting that you are creative, turning a blind eye to human suffering, amassing more wealth than needed, purchasing a blue checkmark"

*there's a small section above this paragraph that uses a different Cypher. I don't feel like learning how to decode it today.

**punctuation and capitalization is up to interpretation. Periods look the same as commas and exclamation points so I could've gotten stuff wrong.

#how long have i been typing #i dont think bill has a soul because he turns a blind eye to human suffering all the time #i bet he has a blue checkmark too #btw does anyone have a spare soul they can give me #gravity falls #bill cipher #thisisnotawebsitedotcom #gravity falls codes #i bet someone already did this and posted it but i dont care to look.

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valyrra · 5 months ago

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Hi! Anon 🐈‍⬛ here, I need some advice, I'm going insane. I live in an opressive family, they behave like I'm not a person and they love to shut me up all the time when I have to say anything and even then they don't listen to what I have to say. They say that's because I don't have a job... (They love mentioning I'm jobless even though they KNOW about my state of mind)

I'm extremely depressed and scared to meet other people because of negative experiences. They conditioned me to stay silent and listen, but after years of silence I got sick of it and got more argumentative. For example: father (who is so obsessed with eating healthy that he made it everyone's problem) today made so much drama because we drank a sweet drink. He told us that it's deadly and told mother that she is the worst mother and started insulting her. It is not the first time he's doing this, he and her (sometimes) make us feel bad about eating something ("You will get cancer from it", "It's deadly", "You're going to get even more fat"), essentially shaming us for eating the food. We are not rich, we can't afford the "healthy" food and we live in a country that has food standards, we can't die from eating food or drinking a drink.

It was a lime flavoured powder that dissolves in water that you drink. It was a looooooooong time since we drank anything like that. He was very agressive about it and I'm on my second day of period so guess what happened. I got angry and told him what his problem is (we have been eating tasteless food for years because of his "Salt is death" (his words), he's obsessed with nutrients, TikTok recipes, and shoving his opinion on food and politics down everyone's throat) and mother and brother started shouting at me (brother insulted me as well) while he ate his lunch at peace. It's a constant cycle that never stops, he starts drama and threatening abuse, I intervene sick of his behaviour, they insult me, shut me up and it is peaceful until this cycle begins again for YEARS...

It was always like that, but since COVID it's getting worse and worse (there were times I almost k*lled myself from the stress), I have nobody to talk to...

He also almost k*illed us because of toilet paper on brother's 18th birthday, I had a horrible mental breakdown and was laughing and crying the whole time. My mental heath is so horrible that when I'm having a breakdown I start laughing (unfortunately like Joaquin Phoenix's Joker). Therapists are not that trustworthy because the one I had told mother about our sessions (what I said in them) and I stopped trusting them. People are snitches around me ready to tell any secret I have to other people. My trust has been broken so many times...

I'm telling you this because we are moots and you've been so kind to me even though we don't communicate much, however, you liking some of my posts and replying to my comments make my day.

I'm afraid to speak about this publicly (from my account).

I'm very very very very sorry for trauma dumping and grammar mistakes, I don't know what to do anymore, maybe I'm beyond saving, it has been going on for years, I'm tired...

Thank you for listening and if you ever need anything, I'll be there for you. I wish you all the best.

Anon 🐈‍⬛.

ok, first of all sorry that I am replying this so late. i'm glad that we are moots and somehow i help your state. don't be sorry for trauma dumping secondly, man, my mental health is like pretty fucked so i'm not sure what kind of advice you want from someone like me…. I'm like legit…….. not sure what can i propose to you besides what helped me to stay alive I've been abusive myself and I still am sometimes. it's kind of hard for me to talk about jobs and ED specifically, but like im not sure what age are you and what country are you in - i would certainly advice you to contact a specialist, even a local hospital (non commercial idk how it works anywhere outside of Russia). and probably its better to not tell anyone + tell the specialist that you'd rather keep this between you two. I've changed like 6-7 psychiatrists. some were bad, some were better. you just need to learn to trust. not all of them are bad Good prescribed meds can stabilize your brain in order not to fall into negative stuff. + somehow keep your nerveous system safer. which IMO is so important? like…. people usually don't realise how many health issues come from stress. from free stuff - sometimes guided meditations help me to relax and prevent incoming anxiety attacks like I think you should bit by bit build your own strength and overcome your fears. there's no one in the world who will make you do this shit, unfortunately. we live in a world where it's not always rainbows and sunshine, but you've been strong enough to live to this moment. i believe you can achieve your independence from your family. my first job was as a waitress and dude I've barely talked with anyone besides customers. only if it was necessary, all because i had like large anxiety and other stuff. it was hard as fuck, I've had drunk shitty customers who touched me and tried to kiss me, i've had a bartender who raised his voice at me like for smallest inconveniences. i had a cook who kept telling me he's going to r* me with his assistant because he was just dissatisfied with my performance lol. but like…… I've also made a great friends and built some social confidence. push yourself, no one will push you… to be independent is kind of a…. solution if you don't trust anyone. I hope you will find your peace.

#tw: mental health #tw: ed mention #tw: r*pe mention #tw: vent #tw: suicide

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artinandwritin · 2 years ago

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A little writing practise I did yesterday at 11 pm. I wasn't really sure how to put the idea of texting each other down in a way it still feels natural, but doesn't slow down the plot. I kinda think I did a good job for once :)

This is for GusSiri's modern au during the time period where Siri is about a month away from finishing high school and Gustav is just,,, fucking around in college doing who knows what haha. Have fun!

Unread-Read;

S: I got full marks on my biology test. Mrs. Haddock gave me a sticker because she thinks I worked so hard.

Unread.

S: Did you know red carnations symbolize affection?

Unread.

S: I found it online.

Unread.

S: I thought you would like it, you told me once you like carnations.

Unread.

S: Can I send you some? I don't know if they'll come through okay with the post, but I'm willing to try!

Unread.

Siri took a deep breath and put her phone away - this was no use. She had scrolled through her past messages with Gustav Larson for what seemed like hours, and none of them had been answered.

Not a single one.

She didn't know what had happened between the two of them. One moment, he was texting her what felt like every other minute, sending her pictures of his homework, his dog Fanghook, or things in stores he wished he could buy but didn't have the money for - the next moment, nothing. Only unread messages.

Of course, he must be busy, Siri knew he probably was. He was in college, following classes to get a degree in teaching. He was probably making new friends, going out with them, getting drinks and probably not needing her anymore.

After all, she was still in high school, all alone. She had her friend Adelaide Jorgenson, sure, but all her other friends had already left to pursue a carreer. And now, even Gustav had forgotten about her.

She grabbed her phone again, her fingers trembling as she tried again.

S: How's Fanghook? He must be so lonely, now that you're studying so much.

Unread.

S: To be honest… I feel lonely too.

Unread.

S: I miss you.

Unread.

S: Gustav, I miss you. Can you please text me back?

Unread.

S: It's okay if you can't.

Unread.

S: I'm sorry if I've done something wrong.

Unread.

S: Or said.

Unread.

S: Just please text me back.

Read.

Siri's eyes widened as the two marks in the corner of her message turned blue; she leaned back against her pillows as Gustav started typing.

G: Im so sorry! Roommate hid my phone for a joke, couldn't find it for days.

Her heart jumped.

S: It's okay, I was just worried.

G: Can I make it up to you?

S: No, you don't have to, it wasn't your fault.

G: Yeah no, if you miss me I definitely gotta make it up to you. Of course, everyone must miss me so much, I was so legendary in high school.

Siri chuckled, slowly calming down as she typed a response. Oh, how she had missed his little remarks.

S: They don't talk about you anymore :'). But… I do miss you. Quite a lot.

G: Wanna go get ice cream or something when you get outta class tomorrow? I've borrowed this sick scooter from a friend, I'll come pick you up.

Oh. A strange whirl went through Siri's stomach; her heart felt really light.

S: That sounds a bit like a date, Gustav. Isn't that girl you had eyes for gonna be jealous?

G: Nope, turns out she already had a boyfriend. So there is no-one to worry about.

Relieve washed over her; her shoulders relaxed at his message. However, her racing heart kept beating, and her hands suddenly typed on their own.

S: Do you want this to be a date?

G: Um.

G: Maybe a little. Not gonna lie, you're cute. And you've always been nice to me even tho I'm sometimes kinda an idiot ;).

Butterflies, that's what they were. They were twirling in Siri's belly as her gaze was glued to her phone screen. Her hands trembled at every word they texted to each other.

S: I kinda want this to be a date too.

G: You do?

S: Yeah. I think so.

G: So I guess we've got a date ;))). Anywhere you wanna go?

S: The movies? They're showing Titanic again.

G: Sounds good to me. I'm gonna hog the popcorn, be prepared >:). And!! Pleasepleaseplease put on a thin dress or something. I wanna offer you my sweater.

Siri couldn't help but laugh softly, casting a quick glance to her wardrobe. A sundress may be best suited for his little request and oh, how she adored the detail.

S: I will! Can we make dinner at your dorm after the movie?

G: Yep, I'll just bully my roommate out. And afterwards I'll take you home nice and save.

S: I'll see you tomorrow, can't wait :).

G: See ya, can't wait either.

G: And Seer.

G: I miss you too <3.

A smile overtook Siri; there was nothing that could describe that special feeling she felt when he said that.

S: <3.

She closed her phone, putting it down beside her. Her heart racing, she slid further down onto her bed as she started up at the ceiling. Oh, this would be perfect.

This would be absolutely perfect.

@rosiethedragongeek for the tags!! Just a lil smt for funsies <3

#httyd #oc #how to train your dragon #httyd oc #how to train a dragon 2 #race to the edge #rtte #how to train your dragon oc #siri vínteri #gustav httyd #gussiri #oc x canon #modern au #artinandwritin's writing #artinandwritin's lore

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mementofloreo-archived · 2 years ago

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An Update/Happy New Years Letter from Toby!!

hi folks, here's a catchup post from yours truly! it's a bit long so i've put it under a readmore, but there's nothing too serious under there, it really is just a life update of the same sort I try to write every new year!

sorry for not being around lately! i've been having a pretty bad chronic pain flareup and have been kinda sick.

a while back my cat- who is a nasty little escape artist and very naughty boy!!- managed to get outside the house. it was on an evening when it would later get into the single digits.

milo's very important to me, and we live right next to a highway now, so every time he does this it's stressful. when he wasn't back home by around ten pm(despite each of us periodically going to check and call for him) I got pretty desperate. it was so cold out, and i felt distraught just thinking about him possibly getting sick or hurt or worse out there somewhere when it was 12 degrees and getting colder.

In the end I was wandering around calling for him out there for about half an hour, and then spent half an hour sitting on the patio with my phone and calling for him periodically. I knew spending so much time in the cold would make me really sick bc I've always been frail and highly sensitive to the cold dry of winter, so i have myself to blame for that.

i had to leave a blanket out for milo in the end bc it was getting hard to breathe; he did finally come home a little later and i found him on his blankie close to midnight. he was calm and not shivering or seeming sick, so he must have found somewhere pretty safe to hang out before coming and staying warm on the porch. he was VERY hungry and thirsty when he came inside but he's remained healthy since and in good spirits, so I'm fine with being sick. he's my baby and I would rather get a cold working to get him home than have him not come home at all, or let him get hurt or sick.

storytime aside, it's just a time of year when I tend to struggle a lot more with my emotional and mental health. my family has suffered through a lot of tragedies that took place around this time and it's also the worst time for my seasonal affective disorder. so on top of my physical health being worst in winter, so is all my other health. ongoing shortages of several different medications(mostly for adhd and similar symptoms) in my area mean that I am also without my adderall or concerta and haven't had reliable access since about november. I don't function at nearly even ten percent without them, so that has also been a big factor.

to my new mutuals, I'm sorry I haven't been around! I hope we can finally start chatting and plotting soon, because I truly do want to get to know you and see what clicks for us as writers.

and to my friends and other mutuals, thank you as always for your patience with my spotty activity and for still being sociable with and happy to hear from me even when I'm not feeling able to write. you're more precious to me(every one of you!!) than I can adequately express.

since the start of 2020, my life and my family's lives have all been very difficult, fraught with hardships of all different sorts and a lot of chaotic and unpredictable change. the divorce and eventual remarriage of one of my brothers; my mom and i moving out to live with her sister in the first months of 2020 in a last ditch effort to drive my dad to finally really address his drinking problem(he is now over a year sober!!!)

and then of course my mom getting sick that may,

and then never getting better.

and then we found out that she never would. she has chronic fatigue syndrome now, and issues with low blood pressure and breathing. the family home we'd lived in since I was just a little kid was old old old and we found out eventually that she had new mold allergies. as our savings dried up and we finally managed to sell and move out at the end of 2021, I knew '22 would be harrowing.

and it was. it was awful. from the end of january to the end of august I lived in the spare room at my brother's home, unsure what would happen from one day to the next, how long i would be there.

since early september my parents and i have been slowly settling into a double wide mobile home we were(by the grace of luck and higher powers) able to purchase rather than simply rent, when we had thought initially it would be difficult to even find an apartment that would meet mom's needs and be withing our range.

but we finally have some stability and peace of mind in our lives again. and I hope that will bode well for the rest of this year.

I don't know how soon I'll be consistently active here on the dashboard again, but I do want to try, even if it ends up a slow process. happy new year to all of you, and i dearly hope you will see more of me as it goes on.

-Toby

#tobes talks(ooc)#emo hours xoxo(in an optimistic way tho dw)#i am hoping to try and get back to more consistent and frequent activity here on-dash this year #it may take time!! but i do want to be here #thanks for your patience everyone!!

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twxins · 11 months ago

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☤

@redlips-blooddrops-deux

My character has been committed to an asylum. Send me ☤ for their reaction to yours visiting them.

The twins lived a life of violence - they were desensitized to blood, gore, pain and death. Rarely does such a lifestyle unfold in a vacuum. Neither brother was a stranger to how dark other humans could be. However, following a lengthy recovery after his brush with death on the train in Kyoto, time soon revealed that the complex string of events that had led up to his lengthy comatose state had left a mark of its own on one of them.

Tangerine always had been more susceptible to periods of mental decline, often exacerbated by the substances he would lean on to cope. And after learning of what had truly unfolded behind the scenes, Tangerine had become increasingly 'tin-foil hat'.

Anyone who sat near him at a restaurant, anyone who walked behind him or caught his eye across the street, any car that pulled up within a few yards of distance - they were all agents of the White Death, here to reap revenge for the failure of their sordid plan, to finish what the world's most feared boss had started.

As time went on, they weren't just out on the street. No, the White Death's goons had cameras in the bathroom; all the mirrors were double-sided, and they had poisoned their tap water and all their food was laced with tiny little microchips that they would use to track both him and his brother wherever they went, or even read their minds or control their thoughts.

Lemon had been in a hell of state after services came knocking, which had been a whole fuss in itself - he may have been a bit sick, but Tangerine was still as feisty as ever! As if he would ever go quietly...

Nevertheless, Lemon had called Lily up, on the brink of tears after Tangerine had failed the assessment and Lemon had subsequently failed to persuade them not to take him; that the public incident involving an unsuspecting black-suited bystander whose eyes had apparently lingered a bit too long had merely been a one-off.

If someone's fuckin' paranoid 'bout someone else bein' out to get 'em, how the Hell is lockin' 'em up gonna help?!

Of course it was horrible for him to watch after nearly losing his brother once already. But it was, perhaps, for the best. His brother was unwell, after all. He needed off the drugs, and he needed help.

That said, he was quite clearly dosed up on a different kind of drug at this point - an ironic means to an end. Sitting in the visitor's room wearing a white dressing gown and pair of padded restraint cuffs, he looked pretty zoned out.

And yet, there was still a visible twinkle in his eyes when Lily came around the corner.

"Hi..." the word came out in a breathless murmur, moved as if he were being graced by the presence of a deity. "F-Fuck...I've ya' missed, doll. I missed ya' face so goddamn much. God, I'm sorry. I'm so sorry for everythin'. I know things 'ave been crazy, an' tha' I've been crazy, but...it's alright. I got it figured out, okay? I'm gonna' make everythin' better, I promise ya', luv..."

He placed his cuffed hands on hers and gave them a loving squeeze. He was already whispering, but as he leaned forward, his voice dropped a few decibels further.

"We jus' gotta talk quietly, okay? The White Death might 'ave tiny microphones embedded in the woodchips of the table; his crew could be listenin' to everythin' we're sayin' right now. An' don't drink none of the water they give ya', or the coffee, no matter wha' they tell ya' - it's all a set up; tha's probably why they let ya' in 'ere, it's a false sense of security, to make us think they're on our side. They probably put sumin' in it, like microscopic robots or some shit tha' they'll use to track ya' wherever ya' go after ya' leave-...an' you guys 'ave gotta stay safe for me, yeah?"

#redlips-blooddrops-deux #mental health crisis tw #paranoia tw #delusions tw #paranoid delusions tw #ptsd tw #trauma tw #drugs tw

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tempsite · 1 year ago

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Assalamualaikum Sheera. It's me again.

Do you miss getting salam from me? Because I miss you so much. How are you today? Have you had lunch? Finished your portion? How's work going on so far? I've no doubt Sheera does her job the best and I couldn't be any prouder to say so. The company better gives her some award.

How come it's been ten years (well I obviously miss your exaggeration) since the last time we texted each other. You doing fine these days? I still have the spot in your heart? Tiny tiny space would do I'd shrink myself to fit in. Or did I sometimes cross your mind?How's your back are the spine all well behaved? Did they hurt you and give you discomfort at times? Make sure you don't carry anything heavy (your feelings are heavy enough. I'm so sorry) and mind your sitting postures.

What time did you reach home last night Sheera? Still an enthusiast for lectures at the mosque? Alhamdulillah may Allah always keep you safe and bless you in both worlds. I believe it's still raining most of the days. Please be extra careful, don't get hurt. Walk safely don't run, the path is slippery. You might want to keep your umbrella with you. No more pinjam someone else's. Or maybe you prefer to put on jumper to keep warm. Or the windbreaker?

Don't get sick, Sheera. But if you do, please take your meds. I'm sorry I know you would struggle with the pills but I promise they'll help you feel better insya Allah. Just close your eyes and swallow them with some drink. Then straight to bed. Boleh? But I pray you'll always be strong and healthy, like you always do.

I think your period is coming, by early next week? Any pain now? Cramps? Headache?

I wonder how awkward and cringe my words may sound. I was writing as if Sheera still loves me when in fact "We're just friends Imran. I won't be yours." What if she's someone else's wife by now? Imran such a pervert.

But I don't think I would care. All of the posts here were written for her because I love her. Whether the feeling reciprocated or not, is another thing. She won't be here visiting my site if she doesn't miss me. I guess that's a valid reason to support me and my writings. Haha

Ahh I missed another Friday prayer. *while eating bananas. May Allah forgive me.

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pigeonwhumps · 2 years ago

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Letters

Immortal Cannon Fodder masterlist

Taglist: @extrabitterbrain @wolfeyedwitch

A selection of the multitude of post from Phoenix to their sister Alicia, stashed under her floorboards. Spans the roughly five year period between Phoenix being kicked out and their first Christmas after meeting Kai.

Inspired by this piece by @whumpsday.

1.1k

CWs: mentions of being disowned, implied abuse, implied/mentioned parental abuse, brief mention of crucifixion

Dear Alicia,

I'm sorry I left you. I didn't want to. You know that, right? You must do.

I'm just writing to tell you that I have somewhere to stay. You don't need to worry about me. I have a roof over my head and food and that's all I really need.

Except you. I miss you.

Stay safe.

Phoenix x

Alicia,

Merry Christmas!

It's been a hectic few months. I'm sorry I haven't written to you. I hope you're doing well in everything you want to do well in.

Also, congratulations on your summer camp application! I saw it in the newspaper. Mum and dad aren't too mad right? I don't want you to be kicked out too.

Got to go. I'll write again soon. Hope you like the wolf.

Phoenix x

Alicia,

Happy Birthday! I hope you like the stamp! Sorry if you had to pay. I think it's valid but I couldn't not send you a stamp of the time you petted a wolf. I didn't even know they existed until a few months ago!

Anyway. I found the website for that camp you're going on, and they had a list of recommended supplies. I know there's a hardship fund but I don't know if you qualify and mum and dad won't pay more than the bare minimum if you don't so anyway, what I'm saying is, here's some things for your summer. Only small things, I couldn't post anything bigger.

Enjoy! And I hope you have a good birthday! Sorry I can't be there.

Phoenix x

Merry Christmas. Immortality sucks. Hope you like the postcard.

Alicia,

Hey! Happy birthday! Hope you're still doing well! Here's another wolf!

Phoenix x

Merry Christmas!

Heeeey Alicia! I can walk gain! D'you know crucifixion is like flyng? Cept it hurts. It's in the air tho. Not there now. It's warm and fuzzy here. Mmmmm. Miss you. Want you here so I'm not cold and aolne so much.

Here's a wolf. He's a wonky wolf because he's drnuk. Not leki me. Nope.

Oh dear. I'm not sure they meant to write all that. They're drunk. Who gets drunk off eggnog? - E

Sick people who shouldn't be drinking it get drunk off eggnog. My boss is an idiot. And he forgot to tell you they're safe. Just a bad flu and probably a hangover this time. They'll be fine. - B

Dear Alicia,

Happy birthday! 16 today! You're getting old. It's making me feel old, my bones are all creaky and sore. I suppose I am an adult now (nearing a year of it now, actually). Is this what adulthood's like? It's weird.

I hope your exams went okay! Or are going okay, if you're not finished yet. Did the good luck wolf help? Here's a birthday one. He says happy birthday, and he hopes that you're having a good day. So do I.

I hope you like the photos on the card. And the book. I saw it at the bookshop and I couldn't not buy it, really. It reminded me of you.

I wish I was with you. You'll have to make do with this virtual cake instead for now I suppose. I hope you have people to share real cake with.

Happy birthday again,

Phoenix x

Alicia,

Merry Christmas!

Um, happy new year may be more appropriate. Sorry this is so late. I think I missed the last posting date. Maybe. I'm a bit all over the place, but it feels like it's gone Christmas. They're taking decorations down anyway.

Have a good... whenever it is you get this. Love you lots.

Phoenix x

Happy 18th!

Fuck, you're 18. HOW ARE YOU 18 YOU'RE AN ADULT THAT'S NOT RIGHT.

Hope you like the baby photos.

I don't know if you're still in school, or if you have an apprenticeship, or what you're doing next, but I've enclosed some things that might help. I remember you talked about going to uni but that was five years ago. There's gift cards, pens, notebooks, a cookbook (because I'm sure that's meant to be compulsory when you become an adult), I'm sure something will help.

Missing you lots, and I love you,

Phoenix x

I know it's not your birthday or Christmas but look what Aaron found in the zoo shop! It's a 3D wolf card! So I had to send it to you and I am not waiting over four months for you to get it!

Anyway. Kai and Aaron took me to the zoo for my birthday and the wolves loved Kai so much! There's photos so you can see just how much. And it was so much fun and the reptiles were so cool! I got to hold a Komodo dragon! There's more photos, Kai and Aaron insisted on taking lots.

Maybe I can see you again when you move out? It's been so long. You'd love Kai.

Missing you lots still.

Phoenix xx

Alicia,

Merry Christmas! I hope you're doing well. Whatever you're doing now, I hope it's good and that you're having fun. And if you haven't already, I hope you manage to get away from mum and dad soon.

Here's a little ornament, if you have a tree. Or if you don't you can hang him up anyway. His name's Joe (remember when you called everything variations of Joe?)

Phoenix xx

Hi. This is Aaron, Phoenix's friend. I need to tell you not to worry about the spots of blood. Phoenix cut themself cooking and won't put a plaster on because it'll heal (which is a bullshit reason but hey. This is Phoenix we're talking about). They're not badly injured, they're just incredibly stubborn and don't realise people might worry at the sight of their blood. Have a good Christmas!

- Aaron

So. I knew Phoenix had a sister, hi! But they said they were in contact with you, and we assumed that meant both ways, not letters that you can't reply to because apparently you don't have a means of doing so. They're scared of rejection, I think, and your parents finding out, but... they would really like to talk to you.

So here's the deal. I'll give you my phone number and you can tell me if you'd like to have theirs. Or I can just pass on messages or something, I don't know. I just know that they're missing you desperately and from what they say, you probably miss them too.

You don't have to message me or anything. But if you want to, if you want to talk to your sibling again (yes, I'm aware they're an idiot), please do. Whenever you like.

- Kai (07459 637 829) 🐺 ← Phoenix says you like them

#whump #whump writing #epistolary #immortal cannon fodder #phoenix oc #kai oc #immortal whumpee #hero whump #hero whumpee #electrocus oc #bayou oc #yes electrocus does kidnap phoenix at christmas to make sure they rest and take care of themself bc they have flu what of it?#phoenix whos forgotten abt their last xmas card: haha ill mention having creaky sore bones as a joke alicia wont worry bc its obv a joke #alicia who recieved a card a few months ago that mentioned a fucking crucifixion: is worried #alicia and phoenix have been getting their post redirected to the local post office for years btw. thats how phoenix can send presents #alicia cries so much when she gets phoenixs card about the zoo and the photos #bc theyve always told each other everything and phoenix has stopped doing that so alicia was worried but now theyre doing it again!#alicias so happy #alicia oc #phoenix deserves more happiness #alicia to kai immediately upon getting the last card:#are they ok? they mentioned a crucifixion and there were tears on my 18th bday card and they seem much happier now but are they ok?#anyone want to see their texts actually? brain going brrr #aaron oc #whumpee and caretaker

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