#sorry I’m tired and delirious lol

[metaphorical-goblin]

Having dangerous thoughts today (Phoenix falling apart from the inside out as Miles accidentally stretches out his old sweatshirt with his HUGE CHEST—)

[gingerjunhan]

hi bae it’s 👽 anon! could i perchance request a jungsu one shot where reader can’t sleep so they call jungsu and jungsu comes over and they can fall asleep with him there? basic request but i had a late night last night and it inspired me LOL

☆彡 hiii 👽anon! I will happily write something cute and fluffy about Jungsu! 🤭 I hope you enjoy it!

word count: 483 | pronouns used: none | genre: fluff, established relationship, neighbor!au | cws: stupid humor/banter, mentions of break-ins, not proofread, lmk if I missed something

Jungsu woke up to the feeling of his pillow vibrating. His phone had fallen next to his head after falling asleep watching some YouTube videos, so the aggressiveness of the vibrations startled him away with ease. With tired eyes, he could just vaguely make out that he was getting a call from his partner.

“Hello?” He grumbled into the phone, voice hoarse from exhaustion.

“Jungsu?” You ask softly.

“Hmm?” He grunts into the phone.

“I’m sorry to wake you, but I can’t sleep.”

Jungsu sits up in bed now, propping himself up on his elbow. “What’s wrong, sweetheart?”

“I heard a weird noise outside of my apartment door and now I’m freaking out…”

About a month ago, one of the apartments on the floor below you experienced a break-in, so you’ve been a little on edge ever since.

“Hey, it’s alright,” Jungsu’s tired voice spoke into the phone, his tone a little deeper than usual. “Do you want me to walk down the hall?”

Your heart fluttered at his gesture. “If you don’t mind,” you confirmed softly. Jungsu lived a few doors down from you on the other side of the hallway. You met after being stuck in your building's elevator last summer. Maybe you guys should move out soon…

“I’ll be there soon. Let me slide on some shoes and I’ll be on my way.” Without even waiting for an answer, Jungsu hung up the phone, leaving you alone in your dimly lit bedroom.

Moments later, a knock came to your door, and you quickly hopped out of bed to answer it.

Clad in some slippers and pajama pants, Jungsu stood outside your door with a soft, tired smile.

“I fought a band of crooks on my way here,” he joked softly. He liked to give you a hard time for worrying so much, but in reality you both knew he wanted you to feel safe.

“My hero,” you giggle sarcastically, letting him into your apartment. After shutting the door behind him, the two of you pad your way back to your bedroom, where Jungsu takes off his slippers and places them right next to yours.

“Alright,” he yawns after crawling under your covers, “Come to papa.”

You cringe at him. “Papa?” You scoff.

“Oh, so it’s funny when you say it, but not when I say it?” He teases.

“You're weird,” you laugh, joining him under the covers.

“I’m exhausted,” he yawns again. “I think I’m on the verge of becoming delirious.”

You giggle as you get comfortable in his embrace. “You’re also dramatic.” You roll your eyes and turn off the light on your bedside table. This time, it was your turn to yawn.

“Are you comfortable?” Jungsu asks softly, pulling you close to him.

You nod, “Very.”

“Good,” Jungsu mumbles softly. You feel him press a soft kiss to your hairline. “Good night, sweetheart.”

You yawn again. “Good night.”

taglist: @mon2sunjinsuver , @mini-mews , @mxlly143 , @somethingaboutcheese , @weluvjeong , comment to be added!⁎⁺˳✧༚

[ttipsyy]

Hi!

I would just like to ask if you've given permission to repost your fic drabble "Look At Me" (https://ttipsyy.tumblr.com/post/691057892835704832/look-at-me-madara-uchiha) in Wattpad? Because someone did. 

They go by the username "Bowlcut_idiot".

They titled your fic "Illusion". The link is https://www.wattpad.com/1329792284-%E2%98%86hashimada-oneshots%E2%98%86-illusion. 

I don't know if you've posted your drabble on AO3 because this Wattpad user usually takes AO3 oneshots and puts it on their own WP oneshot collection under their name, but I would still like to double check since they've already reposted several fics without permission.

You've probably moved on to other fandoms, but I would still like to give you a heads up of your drabble being plagiarized. 

Thank you, and sorry for the bother.

okay. Where to start?

I haven’t been on here for a hot fucking minute. Almost two years now. I know, I know, I disappeared off the face of the earth without an explanation. I was eighteen and I’m now twenty (!!!) and finishing up my junior year in college. I’ve stayed away from all social media because my anxiety had gotten so bad, I really couldn’t handle it. But yeah.

this shit hurt.

I’ve never been a particularly popular writer, so this has never happened to me before. To make it clear, no. I did NOT give my permission for Look At Me to be reposted. It’s a work I am immensely proud of, no matter how few notes it’s gotten. I wrote it when I was in a pretty dark place. It was solace. It’s my baby.

honestly, seeing people commenting and thanking this “author” for writing it, has bile rising in my throat.

so yeah. I don’t know what to do. Am I overreacting? Maybe, I don’t know. All I know is that I don’t think my tiny voice will reach them and, for my peace of mind, I really need them to take it down. Like, kinda desperately.

so, though ngl, I’m kinda anxious to do it, I’m tagging the people I used to be close with on this app. Hey guys. Guess who’s back from the dead. lol? I dunno if you’re still even on here but I hope you’re all well and thriving and healthy. I’m sorry for disappearing.

please help?

@tired-biscuit

@delirious-donna

@eyesofsilver404

[galactigoos]

What Happened Last Night Pt.3 - Jack Russell x Reader

Summary: Lycanthropy, much like periods, turn out to be a multi-day monthly annoyance.

Warnings: Some injury, being grumpy, retail jobs (the horror!), and only a little bit of Jack. :( Sorry. You both need space after you called him a monster. You did, not me, don’t blame me.

Word Count: ~1.7k

A/N: lol hi. its been months and idk if anyone cares about this anymore other than the sweet souls who pushed me to publish another chapter. I would like to write more. I’m fairly certain this is going to be less than ten parts total, and that seems like something I can finish.

In other news im fucking obsessed with Red Dead Redemption II so lowkey might write something for that once this is over.

Oh also I changed my url from @ / ABitGryffindorky to @galactigoos. I wanted to make my AO3 and tumblr match, make them different than my other socials so fanfic doesn’t come up when a job searches me, and JKRowling is a terf bitch. Oh and I had a stalker so thats really what prompted the change lol.

Cross-posted on AO3, as always.

Part 1, Part 2

Perhaps you hadn’t really thought through this whole running away thing. It only took about two minutes for your broken ankle to really catch up to you. Pain radiated through your ankle, spiking with every step, no matter how light it was.

But you wouldn’t go back. Not to him. So you soldiered on, picking up a large stick to serve as a cane along the way. By sheer luck, you successfully wandered back to your house.

Your poor house. The one-story little shack had its back door ripped off the hinges. A few of your dining chairs had given their lives in service of your moon-induced freakout last night. Your bedroom door had slammed against the wall so forcefully the knob was stuck in the drywall.

Leaving most of the carnage for a better day, you placed the back door into its rightful place so no animals would get in. Well, no other animal besides yourself. The thought brought a humorless laugh forward. The absurdity of the situation, the sheer isolation you now faced, piled onto you, forcing you to the floor in a fit of delirious laughter.

You kept laughing. Past when your lungs tired, past when your laugh became more of a shaking wheeze, past the tears that had accompanied your anguish. You couldn’t stop. You laughed until your tired, broken body could no longer handle the strain, and you succumbed to the gentle relief of unconsciousness.

…

At least this time when you woke up naked in the forest, you weren’t caught in any traps. You were alone and relatively unharmed aside from a long gash ripping up your torso.

You groaned as you hauled yourself to your feet. When you stood, your ankle made its presence known. But it was not the scream for attention you faced yesterday, but more of a soft yell. It felt much, much better, but still carried enough pain to force you to limp.

Was this going to happen every fucking night?

… 

After calling into work and once again resetting your back door (thankfully your only damage this time), you decided you needed a plan. If this was going to keep happening, you could not keep running into the woods stark naked. You were out of sick days at work and were already well past your skill level in home repairs. 

So you spent the day modifying the leaky, cold cellar beneath your house. It couldn’t be called a basement. The cottage you had inherited was old. Like so old, the best way to deal with flooding was to build a cobblestone wall under your house with a space for water to run through. The cellar had now been reinforced with concrete, but the drain structure remained the same. The space was unused by you, given the room was designed to flood. So you didn’t have to clear anything out; what you did have to do was secure it. 

The cellar was entered through a door in your kitchen. Down a short flight of stairs, there was another door, this one metal, to keep out a draft. You dug through junk drawers and your shed to find every lock you could, and set to work securing them all to the door from the stairs. You even hauled your mattress to be propped up against the door for some added weight. After triple checking the locks, you grabbed a bottle of NyQuil and went outside.

There, you were able to remove the mesh that normally protected your cellar from debris, and squeezed yourself through the drain opening. Thank god the old motherfuckers that built this shack left a big enough hole. 

By now, it was the middle of the afternoon. You did everything you could to stay awake, despite the exhaustion of the previous two days threatening to pull you under. You talked to yourself, you sang, you worked out. Anything.

And when it started to get darker, you paced anxiously. You removed your clothes (no point in destroying another outfit) and prayed that the werewolf would not be able to fit through the gap to the outside world. At the last second you could bear to wait, you chugged the NyQuil. Hopefully, a tired werewolf was a less destructive one. And hopefully you didn’t just overdose on NyQuil.

…

You’ve never been so happy to wake up on a cold slab of concrete. Apparently, a tired werewolf was unable to claw through your defenses. There were scratches along the cellar walls and the doorknob had been bitten into a shape resembling a crumbled wad of paper, but you were still in your house. You redressed and crawled out of your night’s sanctuary.

You had sustained a rather ugly cut across your face, going over the bridge of your nose, narrowly missing your eyes. You pictured the wolf trying to rub the sleep from its tired, drugged eyes, which was… slightly endearing? As you were otherwise unharmed, you went about your normal morning routine, with about ten times your regularly required caffeine.

It wasn’t until you were stumbling off your bike in the parking lot of the tavern that you realized your ankle didn’t hurt. You were limping still, but there was no pain. And addressing the rest of your body quickly, you noticed that most of your wounds had healed. The gash on your stomach was still tender, but even your ear had repaired itself, leaving just an angry scar and a knick on the outside edge of your cartilage where you must’ve taken a chunk clean off. All things considered, you weren’t doing too bad.

Your boss ignored your haggard state, not that you had expected him to give a shit. Mr. Glendon was always too caught up in tending to the lush garden beside the pub to notice much about his employees. As long as you did your job well enough that he didn’t have to do his, he was happy.

In a zombified state you went through the motions of customer service, serving coffee, pancakes, and toast with a smile. Internally, you were cursing this stupid fucking establishment for being open from 6AM-2AM and requiring you to drag yourself to a goddamn pub for a breakfast shift. You were so tired you hadn’t read the name on the DoorDash order you packaged. You could not as easily ignore the man who walked in to pick it up.

When the bell above the door rang, you smiled and automatically started a welcoming comment, but froze mid-sentence when your eyes met Jack’s. He froze too, halfway through the door, glancing behind him like he was ready to forget the mediocre waffles sitting behind the counter. 

“Come on,” you grumbled, gesturing him inside.

“Lo siento. I was just grabbing us breakfast before we leave town. You won’t have to see me again. I had no clue you work-”

“Waffles, Jack,” you said, cutting him off and shoving the bag at him.

“Right, waffles,” he replied, grabbing the bag and getting out his wallet, and shoving five dollars into the tip jar before you could stop him. “Okay. I’m sorry. Goodbye, y/n.”

He spun to leave. You wanted to let him. He was dangerous and had likely gotten you into this mess. But at the same time, he was the only one who could help you through it. So you had to stop him. He was almost out the door when you called his name. Well, more accurately you whispered it, as part of you was hoping he wouldn’t hear you and you wouldn’t have to keep him in your life. His werewolf senses threw a wrench in your plan, and he spun on his heel and came back to you. He didn’t say anything, just looked at you. His eyebrows were knit with worry, and he tilted his head slightly like the stupid fucking dog he was.

“How much longer? I can’t keep,” you looked around and lowered your voice, “transforming every night.”

Jack let out a breath he was holding, apparently relieved you weren’t about to continue your name-calling of your previous encounter.

“You’re done for this month, cariño. Three days a month. It’s manageable,” he said with a reassuring smile. He looked tired, even more so than you did. You wondered what he had been doing while you were having a meltdown and playing Doomsday Preppers: Werewolf Edition. 

You nodded, relieved in the knowledge that you would have a reprieve now.

Jack cleared his throat. “I know you do not want me around, but perhaps I could put you in contact with some others like us? It’s tough to figure out all on your own.”

“You want me to tell more people? Absolutely not!”

He held up his hands in a placating gesture. “Alright, I wanted to offer. Best of luck, y/n. I won’t bother you again. If you need anything,”  he said, ripping the receipt from his bag and snatching a pen from a cup on the hostess station, “Here’s my number.”

You stared at the scrap of paper offered to you, and hesitated before taking it.

“I’m not trying to impose on your life. I just want you to have help if you need it. No strings attached,” Jack said, filling the silence. You took the paper and shoved it into your back pocket. Jack gave you a tight smile and a nod, and left.

You weren’t given much time to ponder the interaction as the demands of your job quickly stole your focus away from Jack.

…

After work, after your commute home, and after your door fell out of its frame when you tried to enter your own home (you had forgotten it was no longer on its hinges), you were staring dumbly at your mattress-less bed frame. It took you a full minute to remember that your mattress was shoved against your basement door. You huffed, making your way to your couch, as there was no way you were going to bother with lugging your mattress up a flight of stairs after an 8 hour shift.

This was unsustainable. Your house was in shambles, your body scarred, and you were alone and ill equipped to handle any of this. You texted Jack before you could think better of it.

.

.

.

*Cue werewolf training montage*

Also cue Jack jumping up in down at excitement at getting a text.

“See, Ted? I knew she would text! I’m glad we stayed an extra night :D”

Feedback, criticism, comments, reblogs, and likes are all always appreciated. Please tell me what you think! I apparently forget about fics unless you guys hound (pun intended) me about them.

Tags: @starfirette, @nicolewithanee, @fangurldayandnight, @zakizigekwe, @for-bebbanburg, @missdragon-1, @howlingco, @arvalee-knight, @emiemiemiii, @spicydonut25, @sparkythefallen1, @girlymusiclover09, @pxl8ed, @littlenosoul, @lemmons1998, @may4ri, @i-am-iron-man-3000, @maxppt

If anyone wants to be added or removed from the taglist lmk!

[azurelyy]

I posted 758 times in 2022

That's 758 more posts than 2021!

349 posts created (46%)

409 posts reblogged (54%)

Blogs I reblogged the most:

@delirious-donna

@sneetsnoot

@tired-biscuit

@nightingaleflow

@justmyownreality

I tagged 628 of my posts in 2022

Only 17% of my posts had no tags

#ask away - 237 posts

#azurelyy scribbles - 115 posts

#ask game - 99 posts

#azurelyy friends - 76 posts

#naruto fanfiction - 54 posts

#azurelyy writes - 41 posts

#azurelyy moots - 35 posts

#delirious writes - 33 posts

#azurelyy faves - 28 posts

#azurelyy.100event - 27 posts

Longest Tag: 69 characters

#not 100% certain if it’s good i write like i’m from the 1970’s though

My Top Posts in 2022:

#5

Hey! How are you doing? I saw that your requests are open and I was wondering if you'd be willing to write something smutty for Jiraiya? Maybe he comes home to his girlfriend and they've been missing each other so much? Thank you so much ❤

Hi, Nonnie! I am okay. Got COVID over the weekend and despite being triple-vaxxed, it totally kicked my ass. Am slowly getting over it. I hope you're doing good! <;3.

Not gonna lie, I saw Jiraiya's name and blacked out. This was the result. Hope you enjoy! (I am tagging @sneetsnoot because we share this Jiraiya obsession lol)

Title: Eight Hours & Sixty Days 🍋

Pairing: Jiraiya x f!reader

Warnings: Size kink, "Daddy" kink, age gap, praise, orgasm denial, dumbification, female masturbation, unprotected sex, cookie monster!Jiraiya, soft dom!Jiraiya, slight infantilization, aftercare

Word Count: 4.5k

Eight hours and sixty days. Eight hours and sixty days since Jaraiya the Gallant last kissed you, last touched you, last talked to you; but to you - as you watched the sixtieth sun disappear behind the horizon, as the sky faded from navy to black, as the snow turned blue from the absence of the warm glow of the brightest star - it may as well have been a lifetime. You sighed, releasing the heavy ball and chain that tugged at your heart, as you stood from the chair on your balcony and entered into your little apartment. 

See the full post

329 notes - Posted July 7, 2022

#4

Hiii! I hope you're doing well ♡ congrats on 100 followers!!

For the event , can I please get #7 of the smut prompt with shikamaru and a female reader?

Ally, you deserve so much better than me! 🥺 I am so sorry this took me forever. Obviously I didn’t plan this event very well lol. I am hoping the length of this one will make up for how long this took me. 

Hopefully you like it! 🖤 I had a lot of fun writing it, and it’s actually my first NSFW for Shikamaru! I know, crazy. Oh, and as we discussed in our DMs, this has Prompt 10 since Prompt 7 was taken! 

Words: 3.5k

🍋 Prompt: “Oh, how we’re going to hurt each other.”

Warnings: NSFW, enemies to lovers, semi-public sex, closet sex, oral (f!receiving), wall sex, unprotected sex. Mentions: Sasuke, Ino, Naruto, and Sakura (NaruSaku)

See the full post

389 notes - Posted September 12, 2022

#3

Hi, congrats to 100 supporters ayyyyy👏🏻You deserve it love!

Can I propose smut prompt nr 7 with Kakashi and a fem reader? And maybe a jealous friends to lovers thing?

I hope this is ok, again congrats!!!

Hi! Thank you so much! 🥺 You are too sweet.

You can propose anything with Kakashi. 😏 I, once again, went feral writing for my favorite Sensei... lol. I hope you enjoy and thanks again for requesting something!

P.S. Sorry I am kind of mean to Genma?

Words: 3.8k

🍋 Prompt: "You should be kissed. And often. And by someone who knows how."

Warnings: oral (f!recieving), soft dom!Kakashi, over-over-overstimulation, orgasm denial, jealous!Kakashi, face sitting, rimming, dumbification

The fire’s flame flicked across your neck, hugging each curve delicately the way he wished he could as you leaned in to the chestnut haired man next to you, your plump lips curved into a cunning smile with wild eyes, like little monsoons. Kakashi convinced himself the reason he was burning up was due to the large bonfire just a few feet in front of him, but the longer he glared at the way Genma’s hand rested over yours on your knee, he wondered if he was being completely honest with himself.

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400 notes - Posted August 15, 2022

#2

Rain Rendezvous ☁️

Literally nobody asked for this but I had to get it out to the universe. I really hope ya’ll enjoy! 

Pairing: Sasuke x f!reader

Warnings: fluff, mentions of adult content, minor NSFW hints, soft sasuke, minor heartache, comfort fic, slow burn

Word Count: 6.5k 

Sasuke cursed under his breath as he ran along the muddied, contorted path. The field surrounding him was pitch black, the only illumination coming from the chaotic bursts of lightning in the distance, showing that this long forgotten path was leading him to one of the smallest villages he had ever seen.

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437 notes - Posted June 24, 2022

My #1 post of 2022

Hear me out… Dilf!Nanami who is obsessed with your tight little babysitter pussy, who can’t help himself from tasting you when he comes home from work to find you cleaning dishes in his kitchen. Those thigh-high socks are for him, right? That short skirt is so he can glimpse your peachy butt when you bend just a little too far over the counter, yeah?

Dilf!Nanami who is going to force you to answer that call on your phone whilst he eating you out like a starving man. Who is going to have you gushing on his mouth whilst you explain to your boyfriend that you’ll be home late…

Dilf!Nanami who is never going to let you go now he has tasted you on his tongue.

🧁 anon

Oh my lorddddd, 🧁 Anon... You have truly slayed me!

I am sorry this took so long. I wanted to make this into a full fic but I think my headcanon format will work best for this one. <3. This is my first time writing for everyone's favorite Daddy, so hopefully I portrayed him well.

NSFW beneath the cut - Minors DNI!

Warnings: NSFW, cheating, oral (f!recieving), finger sucking, dilf!Nanami

This truly was never his intention.

Had he admired your body from afar for months now? Yes.

Did he torture himself every day by imagining the way his teeth could drag your cat-patterned panties down your thick thighs? Yes.

Did he often find his hand wrapped around his cock after you called him 'Nanami-san' at the end of your shift, your voice all sleepy and raspy due to the short nap you took on his living room sofa? Again, yes.

See the full post

488 notes - Posted September 3, 2022

Get your Tumblr 2022 Year in Review →

[loverottingshit]

It’s February and though it’s what they call the month of love, I can never agree to it.

It was hell when I’ve tasted February on my tongue three years ago. It burnt until my words no longer fire up the papers, they turned to ashes and vanished in a blink of an eye. I must say, February is a drunkard month stuffed in a tombstone with cigars and alcohol— it was the worst and I’ll never forget how it tasted (not that I’ve tasted cigarettes before). I inhale February like candles lit outside the church, not each one of them was made for the world and holiness and the Lord, some are just made because they mourn for the dead and they want to repent and they’re sorry for not praying every Sunday or everyday right after they wake up and before they sleep. ‘Twas February when you told me it didn’t feel the same anymore, too. And every time February kicks in from the womb of the calendar, I can’t help but to catch a whiff of that day my grandmother’s cooking fried bananas while my cousin eats ice cream and everyone looked at me weirdly because I was crying. And then my cousin got mad at me because why the hell am I crying? Couldn’t I contain it? Because I’m embarrassing them in a family gathering and not that I could do anything about it (lol she’s embarrassing me for her whole life and I didn’t mention a single thing hahahaha kidding). Anyway, I remember how the bathroom smelt like when I sat on its floor and sobbed harder. It stings when it hits you, that you don’t feel the same anymore, and that you’re one step away from falling apart. That the love isn’t the same, worse it was trampled down— worst I understand why. It was your yearning to be alone because you were tired of dealing with the world— yet it didn’t feel right because I loved you even when the world was tiring and I decided to keep on loving you until the world gets better again. February tastes like a sack of salt, it makes my kidney feels funny and my urinary tract feels awful. February isn’t just about love. February is about healing the urinary tract infection caused by what they call love. February isn’t just about love. February is about sobbing on the bathroom floor realizing I couldn’t let this girl go, I couldn’t wait for the sunset and let her tell me she’s ready to let me go.

February tasted like a can of pineapple nearing its expiration date.

And I’m Cop 223 so I’d eat it anyway.

February makes me feel so hopelessly in love, not in the sense love was beautiful and sweet. Love was painfully breath-taking, the way it can be glorious and delirious at the same time.

When you said it didn’t feel the same anymore, I only had February to blame for it. “It’s February, that’s why it’s happening.” Ironically, it was February when you and I talked like how lovers do… so when you told me love doesn’t feel like it’s love, I wonder if that’s how the democratic people felt towards the late dictator Marcos Sr. when they threw a revolution on February 25.

And I know, if love was fighting as if it was a revolution, then love must be freeing as if it was indeed a revolution. But I couldn’t let you go. For once I was a dictator, trying to make love feel the same way again. At least, this time, I didn’t run to Hawaii.

[whydoifeelthisquiet]

sorry I’ve been ✨inactive✨ on here, I have such influence in this 🤠fandom😤, and obviously ✨my presence✨ is so missed by my 👁🙇‍♀️✨😋😤 adoring fans1! 😴🤘😬😌🥳🤠

[kickis-conan-king]

So it looks like the Feral Protective Lance fic won the poll!! I’m gonna post the snippet I have written already lol I’m struggling with writing the fall out. The title I’m thinking of for this is “Oh, my beloved, I will be your avenging angel (bare your teeth for me, baby)”

Fic beneath the read more:

Keith was bleeding out.

He knew he was bleeding out because of how cold his fingertips were and the fact that he was getting a little delirious.

He had learned these signs back in the Garrison when they did basic pilot first aid class where they had covered the main ways that a pilot might die out in space.

Blood loss was lower on the list then oxygen deprivation, starving while stranded, and blunt force trauma (crashing). Keith never really thought about how he might die, but he thought anyone assumed he would die fast, an explosion or a fire fight.

Not this slow leaking of his life, the pump of his heart struggling to live killing him quicker.

He couldn’t really even move- he'd been bleeding for so long that he couldn’t feel his hands anymore, couldn’t feel his legs. The puddle around him was big, shiny and dark red from how saturated it was.

He remembers being cut down, the cyborg suited Galra soldier he had been facing lucky enough to slice him open deep and quick in the meat where his shoulder and neck met. It knocked him out and he awoke left alone on the floor of this Galran base surrounded by his own blood and too weak to move.

The team had been separated, isolated and trapped from one another, each one of them forced to face a Galra soldier fused with cybernetic parts.

Keith didn’t know if anyone else had made it out, if anyone else was okay.

He could do nothing but lie there -consciousness floating, thoughts drifting, blood dripping.

The clatter of running steps- Keith couldn’t turn his neck to see who was coming down the hall but he could hear them, the sounds of boots against the ground echoing around him until he wasn’t sure if what he was hearing was real or if it was instead the sound of his brain turning off.

Keith thought he would feel more afraid when confronted with dying. Maybe it was because he had been unconscious while the majority of the dying had been happening, but he felt at peace, tired and quiet like he could drift off to sleep after an exhausting day, images of dreams beginning to take him.

Light began flickering on the ceiling above him, shifting orange and yellow breaking through his blurry vision. The colors danced on the dark metal of the hall and it was beautiful, like muted tones of a campfire in a dark forest in autumn, the palette shimmering gold and the deep metallic dark of space- Keith stared at it in a kind of wonder, almost able to see the trees, brain lazily spinning out.

Suddenly, his vision was blocked. The face of an angel staring down at him in concern, with eyes like the sky and skin the color of polished timber, the dancing light behind them a flickering halo.

Keith blinked in surprise and the angel’s face blurred and Keith realized that it wasn’t an angel at all- it was Lance, yelling at him. There was blood trickling from Lance’s temple and he had a busted lip.

“Keith!” Lance was screeching, the hands holding onto Keith’s shoulders so alive they burned. He slapped Keith's face, covered his wound with those hot, hot hands.

“Angel.” Keith whispered, reactions slow.

Lance gasped and spoke into the comms. “I found Keith you guys! But he needs a healing pod right away- he’s- he’s practically dead and he’s definitely delirious. He’s lost a lot of blood.”

Lance sounded panicked and looked pale. Keith mistily thought Lance was very pretty. He was glad that Lance was okay.

“I’m gonna have to move him because we got a swarm on us so backup at any time would be great!” Lance was saying.

Lance knelt next to him and spoke through gritted teeth. “Hey, hey, Keith. I’m gonna move you, okay? And I’m gonna have to do it fast. I’m sorry if it hurts.”

Keith thought that nothing could possibly hurt, especially not anything Lance could do to him.

Lance scooped him up and Keith was completely limp, unable to move if he wanted to. He wondered at the stillness of his body. He wondered if maybe he was dead already and this is just what it was like- a floating unconnected consciousness in a still, cold body.

Keith couldn’t believe that Lance could carry him so easily. His blood dripped from Lance’s arms where Lance had to run his forearms through it, big fat drops all slightly congealed, dark and runny. The air smelled like pennies, metallic and kind-of-good kind-of-bad taste in the back of the mouth. Keith twitched his nose, remembering how he used to have nose bleeds as a kid.

Lance set him down in a closet. Maybe if he was less gone and still trying to put on a brave face he would have made a joke that would make Lance blush about going back into the closet, but as it was he just let himself be propped gently against the wall, a rag from somewhere pressed to the now sluggish flow of his gaping slice. Lance went back into the hall and stared at his blood puddle. Keith felt weirdly possessive over all that blood.

Lance bent down and put his knees in it, crawling quickly down the length of the hall. He stepped in it and walked away from where the closet was, following the drag marks he had made with his knees before removing his shoes and scurrying over to get into the closet with Keith.

“If we’re quiet and they’re stupid it might work.” Lance said, strapping his boots back on as he closed the door.

Keith blinked slowly at him, his breath rattling. He thought about how smart Lance was, about how he would have never thought of that.

Lance licked his lips and pressed the rag on Keith’s neck harder, crouched next to him.

“Geez you really got cut.” Lance whispered. Keith watched him feeling only distantly connected to his body. He still thought Lance was pretty. “It’s gonna be okay, though. I’ll make sure you’re okay. You have to be okay, Keith, okay? You have to.”

His voice was wavering, watery. He kept clearing his throat and Keith wondered why, before he caught sight of Lance’s blue eyes shiny with unshed tears. Keith watched Lance’s throat bob and decided that he really didn’t like seeing Lance like that. He thought about how funny it was that he had thought Lance was an angel earlier- he thought that the mistake would prompt Lance to make a pick up line or crack a joke. Smile or something else good. Keith wanted that.

He took a deep breath. “Are you from heaven?” Keith croaked out, the whisper like wind between cattails.

Lance’s face dropped, going paler, as if he was the one losing blood. He picked up Keith’s hand and pressed it to his chest. His tears started to drop, single sloppy tears like gems. “No, Keith. Keith, it’s me, Lance.”

Keith tried to smile. Couldn’t Lance see he was joking? Just like him.

“From heaven.” He whispered out between his dry lips. When did his mouth get so cottony? “Because you’re an angel.”

It was supposed to be funny but Lance was crying.

“Keith. Please, please, please, no.”

Keith shook his head. “Lance. My angel.”

Lance didn’t get a chance to respond to Keith’s quiet pleading for him to get the joke he was trying to make because the closet door behind them began to rattle with the force of someone throwing themselves against it.

Lance whipped around, his bayard appearing in his hands. The closet was so small that when he turned his back was pressed close to Keith’s chest. Keith idly noticed the small curl of his hair against the freckled skin of his nape.

Claws sliced through the top of the metal door like it was made of something soft and malleable, like warmed chocolate or soap. Lance braced his feet against the door frame and started shooting up into the hole that had been made, covering Keith’s body with his own.

“Guys! Those hybrid wolf things are on us!! ETA better be right the frick now!!” Lance yelled into the comms and Keith wondered how long he’d been knocked out because this was the first he was hearing about any hybrid wolves.

There was a clamoring outside, like a siren and a clicking and Keith realized it was the howl of a metallic, robotic throat. Even with his lack of blood, it chilled him to his bones.

The creatures continued to tear at the door, ripping it apart like it was nothing and Lance stayed braced against him, a stream of curse words falling out of his mouth. Keith realized he’d never heard Lance swear before- just approximate not quite little swears. He tried to pay attention to the sound of Lance’s musical voice rolling over foul words.

“-ucker!! Get the fuck away from him, you bastard!!! Die die die die, fuck!!!”

It was strange. Lance didn’t swear.

Keith suddenly realized that Lance was standing now, the door simply a hole and a dark mass of shifting, swarming bodies with flashing teeth, blinking light and creaking metal were pressed on the other side of it.

Keith could do nothing but blink. For the first time since he had regained consciousness he felt a thrill of fear pass through him- not for himself but for Lance- beautiful, vibrant, living Lance.

Keith didn’t want him to be hurt.

If there is truly some kind of plan to the universe, some sense of justice or balance and something that determines it, Keith figured they both couldn’t die. He prayed fervently, silently- Lance was not allowed to die. He offered up whatever weak life still clung to him as sacrifice . Let Lance live.

Lance was doing his best. His lip was curled up in a snarl, his straight white teeth bared like an animal. Shooting into the monstrous shadows wasnt working- this was close range work and whatever beasts were out there were attacking in waves of snapping jaws and seeking fangs. Lance took to using his gun as a club, but he was going to get overwhelmed eventually.

Lance was screaming. He had his feet planted firmly in the ground, his heels dug in. He was swinging his gun like he intended to slug every skull that met the barrel out past the outfield. Keith thought of another joke, about home run hitters and rounding third base and he thought he really must be dying.

Lance was covered in blood. A lot of it was Keith’s, but blacker blood the color of oil was splattering with every whine from the wolf hybrids. Keith wished he could twitch even a finger, lift his knife and help Lance cut through but his vision was going black near the corners now, burning on the edges like the end of a film roll.

One wolf scrambled between Lance's legs, open mouth gunning for Keith’s still leg. Lance stomped on it, pinned it against the ground ruthlessly, flipped his gun and fired a laser through its head with no hesitation. Its brain exploded, equal parts organic matter and flying microchips. Lance was panting, his eyes glassy, survival completely taken over his body. He looked back at Keith, his jaw jumping and turned back to the darkness with his shoulders squared. Keith realized that Lance was pulling his resolve from him, that Lance was fighting for him.

Keith fell into unconsciousness with that thought tucking him into the dark like a soft blanket- that he was precious enough to someone that they turned vicious. He hoped they both lived- he wanted to kiss Lance very suddenly.

*

Pidge was quite afraid that they were going to be too late. The sounds being transmitted over the comms were terrible- guttural and sharp and tearing. Lance’s voice had long gone hoarse from all the screaming and swearing he was doing. The swearing was most disturbing to her- for all his swagger and bravado, Lance had the mouth of a preschool teacher. He barely even took god’s name in vain, but here, now, he sounded scary. He sounded like a man, like a brawler, not at all like the immature guy who still used ‘yikes!’as an expletive.

“You motherfucker!!! Fucking die! You son of a bitch, you bastard!! Fucking goddamn hell, fucking DIE!!”

Pidge and Hunk made eye contact and ran faster towards where the little red and blue dots blinked on their holomaps.

They were nearly there, Pidge pulling along a hovering stretcher stasis unit. She hoped that Keith wasn’t as bad as Lance had said, but when she rounded the corner, she felt her heart stop.

In the middle of the hall was a pool of tacky, quickly darkening, trampled, red, human blood. It was large, large enough she could have laid in it and made snow angels. Blood angels. She haltered, glitching over the quantity of it, trying to calculate how much blood is in a human body, trying to remember how much a body can lose before it stops working. She was frozen as her brain ran through probabilities and statistics, refusing to connect all that blood with Keith.

“Holy crap.” Hunk whispered, his presence beside her suddenly registering again. He, too, was staring at the blood in disbelief.

And there, not that far from the blood, in a little utility closet with its metal door in shreds, was Lance.

Rather, Pidge knew it was Lance because her tech told her it was so.

But in every other way she knew to recognize him, that was not Lance. Lance was easy smiles, cocky walk, slumped shoulders and slagging off.

This Lance had his shoulders straight and tense, his whole body visibly thrumming with adrenaline even from here. Pidge never realized just how tall he was, but there he was pulled up to his full height and Pidge realized that he was tall tall, a solid 6 foot something of quivering, lean muscle. Pidge shivered at the sight of her friend looking so…wrong. More than that, he looked feral- his usual happy, elastic face turned into a viscera-covered snarl. His body was moving like a whip, cracking the butt end of his bayard rifle across the cybernetic wolf creatures with a ferocity that was shocking. As they watched a wolf lunged, and Lance sent it flying with another curse ripped out of his haggard throat. Another leaped at him, its jaws closing around his forearm and Lance looked at it with disgust and disdain, slamming his own arm against the door frame until it was dislodged.

There was already a pile of bodies surrounding the door, but more kept flowing in from the other end of the hall. They couldn’t even see Keith from behind the swarming mass of dark, oily fur and glinting metal.

Lance hadn’t registered that they were there, not even when Hunk stormed in with his bayard shooting off blasts of yellow hope against the endless tide, or when Pidge began cutting through with her short and deadly blade, striking like a viper through weak points and wires. He just kept fighting, eyes glassy and face twisted. He was in a desperate panic, fighting mean and vicious and gruesome. She watched him rip out eyes, watched him seemingly forget that he could shoot at the wolves, something more base and terrified taking over him.

She watched as a wolf attempted to leap over his shoulder, into the gap between his body and the door, presumably to get to Keith. Lance’s face twisted further, and he moved so quick Pidge didn’t even see it, catching the wolf and slamming it against the doorframe. Pidge watched in horror as Lance bit into the things neck and his chin came away covered in machine oil and blood, wires and lab-grown flesh ripped out by his teeth.

Pidge was hit with sudden, quaking clarity that Lance wasn’t fighting from a place of fear- he was fighting by tooth and furious nail to protect Keith.

Looking back at the truly horrific amount of Keith’s blood that had been spilled, Pidge just hoped it wasn’t in vain

I’m taking a page out of @autisticlancemcclain’s book here lol. Whatever gets chosen I’ll post a snippet of it if that sounds interesting to anyone!! Please just help me gain the motivation to write lol every time I open a document I just stare at the last thing I wrote and can think of no new words lol.

[almondmisery]

Thanks @civilized-revolutionary for the tag! :)

Rules: Post the first line of one of your WIPs and tag as many people as there are words.

I didn’t think I had anything for Spider-Fantine, but then I remembered my page-long attempt at a beginning lmao, so: “Cosette is crying.”

Tagging @ anyone who wants to talk about their WIP! I don’t talk to a ton of people here but if you’d like to talk about yours just say you were tagged by me lol

[elysianslove]

sal i have a very important question, from the hq boys, who do u think are the best at aftercare? i think hirugami, oikawa and suna but maybe because im biased lol

“maybe because i’m biased” is my excuse for every ask i answer on here habsjdjd i get like twt p*rn asks and say the same guys over & over again sorry 😞

BUT BEST AT AFTERCARE?? oof okay

sakusa definitely. runs you a bath even if you’re half asleep and always, without fail, makes you tea!! he just like has to make sure you’re okay. gives a ton of forehead kisses. also he’s always like “get up n pee i don’t want you getting a uti.”

oikawa absolutely. he’s very gentle with you after even if the sex itself wasn’t intense? like he’s just running his hands along your body, calming you down, before he goes and gets a washcloth to clean you up. he just takes his time with the aftercare, treats you like you’re about to break any second.

matsukawa also. feel like his aftercare would be very domestic, in a way? like he drags you to the bathroom even if you’re too tired to move, washes your body in the shower, gets you a caprisun as you lay in bed, just chilling and talking. like he makes sure you’re okay but in his own, special, mattsun way.

hirugami is a sweetheart !! so it’s a given. very vocal after, actually asks you if you’re doing okay, telling you you did so good for him, you were perfect, he loves you loads, all while peppering and littering kisses all over your body as he cleans you up. just yk, takes his time.

feel like osamu would be great too? less in an obvious way, more underlying and subtle. like soon as you’re done he’s breathlessly asking you if you’re okay, just pulls you to him so tight, caressing his hands all over your body and kissing your neck, asking you if you need anything.

and kita obviously??? he’s so perfect at it, asking you if you need anything and if you’re all good, running you a bath, getting you a small snack or maybe some juice if you’re a little lightheaded. brushes your hair for you !!! kisses your forehead and tip of your nose and cheeks while you’re all tucked in bed. and he does it every single time without fail.

akaashi as well!!! very quiet after, but also really emotional. like he just really appreciates you and wants you to know that, desperately. hovers his fingers along your face, presses kisses to your hands and wrists, asks you if you’re doing okay, if that was alright, you hungry my love? just very attentive and caring.

i feel like with suna he had to like. give it some time. everything that he feels for you sometimes overwhelms him, but especially after sex, so it took him some time before he stopped running off to the bathroom right after to collect his thoughts. honestly it just means he needs the aftercare just as much!! so eventually you two fell into rhythm where you take care of one another.

aran as well??? of course ??? so much praise after !!!! like a shitton of it that honestly leaves you giggling. he just like motions you to come closer to him, cuddles you up to him and tells you all about how much he loves you. and he never ever skips aftercare he finds it incredibly important, especially if you have sex that’ll definitely leave you a little delirious yk?

i feel like tendō is as well!! lighthearted and sweet, makes sure your comedown is gradual and not so sudden that it just sends you spiraling. he’s got a whole snack drawer too so after making sure you’re okay and clean, he just turns to the drawer like, “okay we feeling savory or sweet tonight?” he’s a keeper fr.

also kuroo !!! he goes from incredibly serious right after to just clumsy and giggly a second later. like soon as you’re done he’s pulling back, hands trailing along your body as if he’s inspecting you, asking you if you’re okay, and when you give him the okay, he just sighs and leans over to peck your lips. definitely makes you shower with him (if only to have shower sex).

and iwaizumi. he takes it very serious, especially because he knows he can unintentionally get rough, aside from the times where rough is what you need and ask for. massages !!!!! oh my god the best. just his strong hands kneading in all the right places after he cleans you up. and he makes sure you pee and that you’re staying hydrated!!!!

also, remember!!! boys need aftercare too sometimes :)

[emsylcatac]

For project 25 913

Rated G

Thanks @ladyofthenoodle for the tag and your lovely comment about how much I adore Aspik, you shouldn't have 🥰

(sorry in advance for any English mistakes and all, I haven't been beta-ed and I probably didn't re-read this as much as I should have lol, anyway this is messy)

* * * * *

“You know Ladybug, actually I’m also Chat Noir and I’ve loved you ever since our eyes met—”

Left wrist, flick. Rewind. Repeat.

He’s getting so used to it he’s pretty sure he’s gotten a new tic by now that he’ll unconsciously do whenever he’ll mess something up, even in his everyday life.

Adrien takes a deep breath before opening his eyes to meet Ladybug’s enthusiastic ones, a stark contrast with the incredulous expression she harboured seconds before (later? Timeloops is a confusing concept, and his brain is a mess). He’s not quite sure what it meant, and he wonders what she would have said had Desperada not gotten her (again).

Ladybug’s excited voice pulls him out of his thoughts. “You’ll get five minutes before—”

“—before I detransform, I know.” He doesn’t like interrupting her, but while it could seem that endless five minutes loops leave them with all the time in the world, they don’t. Not really. “We’ve been through this before.”

“Oh.” He hates how Ladybug’s enthusiasm drops a little every time he says it. “But,” Ladybug speaks again, her eyes lighting up, “it means you’ve been perfect at saving me! I’m sure we’re going to succeed! We’re gonna make an amazing team!”

He hates even more her renewed hope and optimism every time he lets on that they failed, because he can feel that it’s all vain. Something in the back of his mind tells him they’ll never succeed, has been telling him that for a few loops now but his brain shuts it down each time because he cannot fail her. She chose him, so surely she’s right and he has to keep going. He’s desperate, really, to know there’s no hope but to still try again and again and again — he’s pretty sure by now that he’s more desperate than Desperada herself. Really, Hawkmoth should just desakumatise her to akumatise him instead if he wants to succeed.

“It’s weird that Chat Noir hasn’t come back by now,” Ladybug muses, oblivious to Adrien’s inner turmoil. “But oh, well, I’m sure we don’t need hi—”

“He’s not gonna come,” Adrien interrupts before he can hear the end of that particular sentence again. If they don’t need Chat Noir-him and if they still don’t succeed with Adrien-Aspik-him, then do they really need him at all?

Ladybug blinks. “Why so?”

Before he can think better of it, he answers truthfully: “Because he’s me.”

There. For a short time, he’s bare before her.

Whether it’s despair pushing him to batantly tell her who he is or to satisfy his curiosity, because he still wonders what her expression from the last loop meant, Adrien doesn’t know. But he knows that in less than five minutes from now, she’ll have forgotten all about it anyway.

Ladybug’s eyes are just as incredulous as the last time he said it. “That’s a joke, right?” she nervously says after a few seconds of uncomfortable silence.

Adrien snorts without humour, and for a split second, he considers telling her it is. “It really isn’t.”

Ladybug stares one, two, five, ten seconds, opens her mouth, closes it, and when it’s apparent that she’ll be stuck in that frozen state for a little while and Adrien can’t really take it anymore, he speaks again.

“I’m Chat Noir, it’s the two-thousand-and-thirteenth time loop, and I still can’t save you.” He passes a hand over his too-smooth and hairless head, regretting that his fingers can’t get stuck in any lock. “We’ve been at it for probably a week now, and did you know that the loops don’t tire you? Because technically I haven’t slept in a week and guess what,” he lets out a sort of delirious laugh, “I’m still not sleepy!”

With that, he gives her two thumbs up. Ladybug is still looking at him like he’s grown a second head, or maybe it’s because he’s just told her he hadn’t slept in a week. He too would look at anyone claiming this with raw disbelief.

He sighs, reaching for his bracelet. “A-anyway, sorry about that and the wasted loop, I don’t know what came over me. So I’ll just…rewind and—”

“No, wait,” she finally snaps out of her stupor, and places her hand on his wrist. “Don’t.”

Adrien stops moving, watching her intently. Ladybug’s hand drops from his wrist and she raises shaky fingers to his cheek instead, to which he can’t help but gasp . She turns his face with the tips of her fingers, as if afraid to touch him, and stares. He keeps on looking right into her eyes, trying to read what’s going on behind them but failing for the first time in their partnership.

“You…you really are Chat Noir?” she finally asks with a breath, like she still doesn’t quite believe it’s him.

“Yeah, it’s me, my Lady.”

Ladybug inhales sharply at the nickname, and drops his face at once to cover her mouth instead.

A glance at his timer indicates that they only have two minutes left now. He should probably rewind. It’s not like he believes that they can beat Desperada in two minutes. But she asked him not to, so he doesn’t.

Ladybug still looks shocked, and he feels his lips contorting in a pained smile in the face of her apparent lack of enthusiasm—he bets that she thinks he’s the worst partner ever if he still can’t save her after two-thousands-and-thirteen times.

“I’m sorry, you’re probably super disappointed that your superhero partner isn’t capable of protecting you,” he shrugs. “You probably hate me now, and honestly I can understan—”

“No!” she shouts. “I don’t love you—I mean! I don’t hate you. You’re bald—Urgh, no not that, forget I said this.” She shyly puts a strand of hair behind her ear, looking to the side. “I’m just…I’m just surprised, is all.”

“Oh.” He can feel his cheeks heating up. She doesn’t hate him! That’s great, right?

“We’ll…we’ll walk later—talk later,” Ladybug says, looking back at him. “After the saddle—after the battle. First we need to defeat Barbapapa!”

He’s surprised Ladybug seems okay with knowing his identity, when she’s always been adamant they keep it a secret, but he’s not about to question it. Maybe her knowing who he is will make it all work. Still, he can’t shake off the feeling that this time will be no different than all the previous loops. That he’ll keep on failing and failing, and he doesn’t know how long he can still last.

“Right. But we haven’t succeeded so far.” He tries not to sound too bitter, but he knows he’s doing a bad job at it.

Ladybug gently grabs his wrist and smiles shyly, making him melt inside and forget about all his worries for an instant. “I’m sure we will. Even if we don’t this time and I forget… You know, I believe in you.”

Adrien is pretty sure his face is burning by now. Ladybug’s eyes widen, and she quickly turns around to hurriedly climb up the scale and poke her head outside.

She believes in him. In all of him. She still thinks he can do it.

So, even as he sees her instantly vanish once again with a sharp heartache, even as his fingers automatically reach for his wrist and he flicks his bracelet again knowing she would forget all about who he is, he feels like he could live through another thousands of time loops if that’s what it takes.

Left wrist, flick. Rewind. Repeat.

So long as he remembers that she believes in him.

[comfyswitcherblanketfort]

IUI - Pepperoni Delight

I had shitty frozen pizza for dinner and felt the need to do a thing. I missed my inked up idiots, what can I say? also im two weeks from the end of my AA and angrily throwing pencils at a sketchpad bc why the fuck do i need to take art classes for my fucking degree

Warnings: lol swearing? possible second hand embarrassment? idk yall its pretty chill

_________________

Geralt called Jaskier for the third time that night, opening with yet another apology when his new boyfriend picked up, “I’m so sorry. I just left the bar. Fucking bridal parties.”

A sweet peal of laughter rang in his ear as he fumbled with the keys to the bar, waving his fellow employees to their cars, “Geralt, I told you, it’s fine. I rescheduled the reservation. Just come over on your way home if you’re up for it.”

“I am! I’ll be twenty minutes tops.”

“I’ll start the pizza then,” Jaskier chimed.

Geralt did his best to fix his messy hair as he drove. When he parked in Jaskier’s lot he changed from his shirt that smelled of sour beer and acrid liquor to a sweatshirt that he’d made sure to spray some cologne on that morning. It passed the sniff test so he hopped out of his car and prayed he hadn’t spilled anything too horrible on his jeans or boots. 

He was worried Jaskier wouldn’t hear his knock over the music practically shaking the door, but almost as soon as he stepped back and shoved his hands in his pocket it died and the door swung open. 

Jaskier leaned on the doorjamb, giving Geralt an exaggerated once over, “Hey there good lookin.”

All Geralt could do was snort, a fond smile spreading on his face.

“I know, I know,” Jaskier giggled, reaching out his hand which Geralt took without thinking, “You look like you need a beer.”

“Mhm,” Geralt couldn’t help the way he melted, completely pliable for the chatterbox of a tattoo artist. He’d been smitten from the word ‘go’, but it only got worse the more time they spent together. In the last two weeks they’d spent all their free time together and it was already unimaginable to go back to the way he was living before. Jaskier set him at ease, he had such a carefree air about him that swept Geralt up and away from his day’s worries. By now in a relationship, he would usually be scrambling for a way to distance himself, but he found he was leaning in.

He only realized he’d been zoning out when Jaskier grabbed his hand and closed it around the cold bottle with an affectionate smile, “Bridal parties are that tiring?”

“Fucking exhausting,” Geralt sighed before taking a long pull from his beer, “and it was a big one.”

Jaskier pecked his cheek, “Good thing you’re all mine now.”

“Oh? What do you have planned?”

“Planned? Have you met me?”

Geralt smirked and shook his head, wrapping his arms around Jaskier’s waist and settling his chin on his shoulder while he dug around in a kitchen drawer, “Hmmm”

-

Hours and two frozen pizzas later, they were entangled on Jaskier’s couch making comments on Wipeout that were more delirious giggles than actual opinions. 

Jaskier lifted his head from where it was lying against Geralt’s chest, “Feeling better?”

Blinking the drowsiness out of his eyes, Geralt croaked out a small, “Yep. You and shitty pizza did the trick.”

The fog of impending sleep left his body immediately as he stared wide eyed down at Jaskier. For a moment he expected to be chewed out, maybe to have Jaskier scramble out of his arms to sit at the other end of the couch, but his boyfriend just raised one eyebrow and cocked his head to the side. 

“I mean- fuck- the- good shitty. Not fancy,” Jaskier wrinkled his nose and Geralt couldn’t tell if it was affection or annoyance, “Just a.. Uh… lazy night in. With you. And not shitty pizza. Nice… nice pizza.”

It didn’t feel satisfactory but it was all Geralt could manage as an explanation.

“Nice pizza? Like a dog?” Jaskier licked his lips and Geralt didn’t think he’d ever been so nervous before in his life.

“N-no?”

Jaskier’s mouth twitched in what could have been anger for one terrifying moment before he burst out laughing, burying his face in Geralt’s chest as he shook with giggles, “You’re so fucking cute.”

“I’m glad you think so…?” Geralt let out a hesitant laugh as Jaskier shimmied up his torso so they were eye to eye. 

“I’m not insulted by your take on Great Value frozen Pepperoni Delight. If anything it’s quite endearing,” Jaskier assured him, placing a soft kiss to his lips.

Relief flooded Geralt as he kissed Jaskier back, “Mmm… Thank fuck.”

[shyficwriter]

Sick

Guardians of the Galaxy fanfic | Reader x Guardians (With Yondu & Kraglin)

Summary: You are quite sick, and unfortunately for everyone else, you won't stay in bed. Might have something to do with being delirious with fever, or maybe you're just a terrible patient. Who's to say?

Authors note: Content warning for hallucinated gore (I think? maybe horror is a better description? Let me know), and mentions of blood, and of course mentions of all the nastiness that comes with a stomach sickness (Don't worry, I kept it clean, didn't want to gross myself out lol) The characters are safe, story has a happy ending.

Word Count: 7,120

Damn, you felt like shit.

It was the first morning in forever where you could remember not actually wanting to get out of bed. Everything was sore, and damn it was just so cold. Why was it cold? Peter usually kept the ship decently warm?

You sighed and rolled out of bed, pausing momentarily when the room began to spin and your stomach tightened in nausea. Damn. That mission the other day must have taken more out of you than you thought. You didn't think you'd still be this sore and tired two days later. This was worse than yesterday, and you weren't exactly expecting the nausea, but at least it had passed.

Oh well. Nothing you can really do about it. Besides, you had more pressing matters, like figuring out why it was so damn cold. You were shaking and had to fight your teeth from chattering. Better put on a sweater.

After washing up and getting ready you headed out of your room to ask Peter why it was so cold, maybe check on the boiler yourself if he hadn't. You found him with Gamora and Kraglin on the flight deck discussing the best course to Berhert, where you guys were planning to dock for a few days and maybe chase down a few leads for new jobs.

"Why is it so freaking cold in here?" you ask. "Did the boiler break down or something?"

They turned to look at you and it was then you realized they were in their regular clothes, not even wearing jackets to keep them warm. Peter was even wearing short sleeves. "I feel fine?" he said, looking to Gamora. "Are you cold?"

She shook her head, adding that if anything, she thought Peter kept it a little too warm on the ship.

You raised an eyebrow, wondering how they could possibly be warm when you were freezing. You shook your head gently. "Guess it's just me then," you grumble.

"You ok? Ya look a little pale there?" Kraglin asked after noticing you were at least a shade or two lighter than normal and how the skin around your eyes wasn't normally that dark.

"I'm fine, Kraglin," you say, trying not to sound like too much of an asshole despite being cranky that you were so cold and achy.

Peter looked at you suspiciously a moment before saying, "Hey, come here a sec."

"Why?" you ask, just as suspiciously.

"Just come here."

You roll your eyes as you approach. "Fine." Once you stopped a few feet from him you asked, "What?"

He raised his hand out toward your forehead, and in your surprise you leaned away quick, instantly regretting it as the room began to spin again.

You gathered yourself somewhat quickly and noticed his hand coming back. You smacked it away. "What are you doing??" you asked through squinty eyes.

"I'm trying to feel your temperature, dummy. Quit moving!" he responded, irritated when you dodged him once again.

"What am I? A child? I don't need you to feel my temperature, mom." you sassed, taking a few steps backward out of the way. "I'm fine." you say irritably.

"Well you like shit."

You almost laughed in surprise at his bluntness as you leaned back with a mildly offended expression. "Well fuck you too, dickweed. You aren't exactly a looker yourself." You didn't really think he was ugly, you were just being mean, but it made Kraglin laugh anyway.

Peter shot him a look before turning back to you and saying, "I didn't mean it like that. I just think you should probably go back to bed if you aren't feeling well."

"First off, I have shit to do, I'm not going back to bed. Secondly, I never said I wasn't feeling well, I just said I was cold," you say bitterly, hugging your arms close to your chest as another chill hit you.

"Then why are you sweating?" Peter asked.

You looked at him a moment, confused, before bringing your own hand up to your forehead. Sure enough, you were starting to sweat a little around your hairline. You wiped your hand on your sweater as you gave him a bitter look before turning and walking away.

"Go back to bed!" Peter called after you.

You flipped him the bird, not turning around as you continued out of the room. "You don't tell me what to do. You ain't my mother."

Peter narrowed his eyes as you walked away. "Yeah... well... Good!"

Gamora rolled her eyes at both yours and Peter's immaturity and returned the conversation to the navigation.

***

You made you way down to the kitchen, thinking maybe you'd make some toast. Your stomach felt a bit crampy now, and you thought toast might be light enough to soothe it before you got started on your chores. Maybe some milk. Milk was nice and gentle, right?

Rocket and Groot were already in the kitchen eating some cereal when you got there. You nodded toward them in greeting as you put down some bread in the toaster. You pulled down a glass and went to open the fridge to pour yourself some milk while you waited when Rocket spoke up.

"Oh hey, we're out of milk, if that's what you're after."

You sighed. "Juice will have to do then," you say, grabbing the bottle and pouring yourself a glass of the light green liquid. You leaned against the counter and sipped at it as Rocket made conversation.

"You said you're going to blow out the dryer line today, right?"

"Yeah."

"About how long are you gonna be? I need to wash a load and I was hoping to get it started before I got to work fixing Groot's game-thing so it might be done by the time I finished."

"Shouldn't be too long. Should only take abo-"

Just then the toaster popped, making you jump a mile, and Rocket and Groot laugh at your reaction.

"Oh man, I don't get why you Terrans are so scared of that! Haha!"

You only glare at him before removing your toast and turning your attention to buttering it rather than engage about how you were definitely not scared of a toaster like you would have any other time. You just didn't feel like it today.

"I am Groot?"

"Yeah, you ok? Normally you yell back when I tease you about the toaster. You sick or something?"

You were finished buttering your toast so you turned to give him an unimpressed look. "What? If I don't yell at you, you think I must be sick?"

Rocket shrugged, "I mean, yeah?" He collected his and Groot's now empty bowls and hopped over to put them in the sink. "You've always yelled something back, what else I'm I supposed to think?" He turned back towards you and looked you over. "And are you supposed to look that... dead?"

You narrowed your eyes. "You supposed to be that bald?"

"What? I'm literally covered in fur." Rocket said, looking at you like he thought you were stupid.

"You won't be if I shave you, you little shit."

"I am Groot."

"I'm not sure if cranky's the word I'd use right now, buddy." Rocket said, throwing you a sideways glance. "Come on, let's go see if Drax wants to play cards or something." With that the pair left the room, leaving you alone to nibble at your toast and sip at your juice in peace.

It didn't exactly help the cramping in your stomach though, you realized as you placed your glass in the sink. You took a deep breath as another chill hit you and you rested over the sink a bit to get your bearings, taking a few more deep breaths hoping it would ease the cramping in your stomach.

Once you felt steady enough you left the kitchen, intent to get started on today's tasks, first being the dryer line, then changing the various air filters about the ship. You'd probably also get around to checking all the smoke detectors before lunch, but for now you just needed to get down to the laundry room to get started.

God, it was so cold.

You made your way down the hall from the kitchen and turned off towards the laundry room when you were startled by Yondu. He had been coming up the other hallway in the direction you were now headed and decided to greet you with a clap on the back and a loud, "Hey, squirt! What'cha doing?"

He always called you squirt, pipsqueak, munchkin, just because he knew it annoyed you to be called childish nicknames. To be fair, he did still call Peter, a fully grown man, 'boy,' as well as also sometimes calling him 'squirt,' and Gamora 'girl,' so at least you knew it wasn't personal.

The startle, as well as the impact of his hand meeting your shoulder sent you forward. You grabbed hold of the wall and tried to steady yourself as the hall spun around you.

"Whoa, ya alright there?" Yondu asked, not expecting to have thrown you so off balance.

You look up at him weakly and nod, breathing deeply through your nose as you held a hand to your stomach, still bent over slightly from where you had caught yourself. You thought you were going to be sick, but you were doing your damnedest to keep it together. "Yeah." you swallowed, trying to fight the slight tremors beginning to shake you. "Yeah, I'm good."

"Ya don't look it. I think you need to take your ass back to bed."

You glare at him. "I'm fine. I just need a sec." As if your body were trying to betray you, another chill shot through your spine, making you shake as a strong cramp made you fold into yourself with a, "Ow, fuck!"

Shit. You knew what was coming and there was nothing you could do to stop it. You quickly turned away from Yondu and vomited on the floor with such force that it felt like something had ripped your stomach open and you fought not to whimper at the pain. You heard him make a disgusted noise, and you didn't blame him.

Teeth chattering and dizzy, you looked at the mess and said, "I'm sorry... I'm so sorry. I'll clean that up." Your vision swam as you shook, one hand gripping at the wall, the other still wrapped about your middle.

Before Yondu could think to respond you had dropped to your knees, thankfully missing the puddle of sick on the floor, and vomited again.

You couldn't stop shaking, and resigned into leaning into the wall, eyes closed as you turned your forehead to rest against the cold metal. Your breath came in shudders as you heard Yondu cry out, "Shit! Quill!" He sounded urgent, but you didn't have time to think about that, you were too busy shaking and trying not to vomit again.

You thought you heard Rocket's voice from up the hall say, "See! I knew you were sick!" and you briefly opened your eyes to look up and make out the little blurry figure approaching before closing them again, weakly throwing him the bird as you focused on keeping it together, both arms now clutching your stomach as you grimaced in pain. It would be over soon. You just needed to gather yourself so you could clean up the mess you made and then you could get on with your day. God your stomach hurt...

You heard Yondu call out for Peter a second time, more urgently than the first and adding, "Kraglin! Somebody! Get down here!" when you lost your battle against your stomach and vomited for a third time. This time Rocket's cries for Peter joined him. You wondered why they were freaking out and calling for Peter when you felt Yondu grab your shoulders to stop you from falling forwards, causing your eyes to pop open allowing you to see your puddle of sick was now red, though you couldn't remember eating anything red... Was the juice you drank red? No, it was green... "Well that's not ideal..." you slurred out, realizing that it probably definitely shouldn't be red, but couldn't quite get a grasp on exactly why you knew it shouldn't be.

The last thing you heard was the sounds of boots thundering down the hallway, getting closer as they mingled with the noises of Yondu and Rocket's shouting before everything went dark.

***

You woke up in your bed laying on top of your sheets. You still didn't feel great, your stomach still felt crampy and also now burned a bit, but it was better than the sharp pain of before and at least you didn't really feel nauseous anymore.

It was still really cold though. You sat up and your head swam. You looked down to see you were still in your sweater and contemplated putting another one on before deciding against it. You were going to be up moving around doing your chores in a second, you'd likely warm up then.

You gingerly pulled yourself out of bed, thinking you might go get some water first, when you looked over at your nightstand for the time and found that someone had already left you a glass. How kind. You sipped at the water and silently grumbled when you realized you had been asleep for nearly two hours.

Wait... why were you in bed again? You sort of remembered getting sick. Peter probably made you lay down a bit. He was a mother hen like that.

No matter, you were up now. Time to get to work.

You left your room and had made it about 20 feet before Gamora spotted you and ordered you back to bed. You made out her two stern faces staring at you... wait two? You thought she only had one of those?

"Why?" you ask, wondering if Peter's mother-hening had rubbed off on her. Way you saw it, you only threw up, it wasn't the end of the world.

"Because you're sick, that's why!" Gamora replied, sounding exasperated.

"I'm fine." you assured, making a face a her. "You worry too much, chicken. The sky's still there." Hmm... you might have gotten that phrase wrong, or did you? You couldn't quite remember. Oh well.

"Bed. Now." she ordered. You blinked and suddenly she once again only had one face. One very cross looking face. Oh well. You still knew better than to argue with her, regardless of how many faces she chose to wear today, so begrudgingly you turned around and went back to your room with a dramatic sigh.

When enough time passed that you were certain she'd be gone, you attempted your escape again. This time you got about halfway to the laundry when you spotted little Groot in the hallway. He looked at you contemplatively and said, "I am Groot?" which you took to mean he was probably asking if you were supposed to be up and out of bed. Leave it to Peter to tell the whole damn ship.

You gave the little guy your best smile and made a shushing gesture with your finger to your lips. "Our secret, right buddy?"

He smiled and ran off.

Taking that as an agreement to silence you went on your way only to not make it much further before hearing someone tell you to "Stop right there!" You turned to find Gamora and Peter looking very disapproving while Rocket stood there looking smug with little Groot sat on his shoulder. Knowing you were defeated, your shoulders fell as you said, "I know, I know. 'Back to bed.'" As you made your way past them you looked down at the little twig and muttered, "Traitor." only to be met with him sticking his little tongue out at you playfully.

Your third attempt was much the same, only this time it was Mantis who caught you and she wasn't quiet about it at all when she went running off yelling to Yondu that you were out of bed again, much to your chagrin as it prompted him to come out of a nearby room. He didn't even have to say anything. He just stared you down, and you held up your hands in defeat and said "Ok! Ok! I'm going!" before scurrying the best you could back to your room.

You didn't even get out of your room on your fourth attempt, having opened the door to find Drax had been walking by at just that moment. He stopped and narrowed his eyes at you with arms crossed, daring you to try it. You looked at him awkwardly a moment before sighing and just closing the door. Maybe you'd take a nap and wait them out. You were a little sleepy...

On your fifth attempt you got nearly to the doors of the laundry when you heard someone shout, "Where do you think you're going?! Get back to bed!"

You turned around irritably to see it was Peter and Kraglin now, looking fairly cross. Seriously!? Why can't they just let you be!

You crossed your arms. "I have to blow out the dryer line, asshat. Where are you going?" you sassed.

Kraglin leaned to Peter and muttered something you couldn't quite make out. Something about the flight hangar? Oh well, probably wasn't important.

Peter looked at you like you were a misbehaving child. "I'm going to take you back to bed, that where I'm going."

You rolled your eyes and waved him off this time, turning your back on him to continue on your quest.

"Hey!" he scolded, effortlessly catching up with you and grabbing your arm to stop you. "I'm not kidding, you need to go back to bed." He put a hand to your forehead, this time succeeding since he had you by the arm and you couldn't get away. "You're burning up. Come on, back to bed." he repeated.

"Screw off." you say weakly, the sudden motion of being grabbed making you dizzy.

"See this is what I mean. You need to rest." Peter's tone was slightly more gentle now, but it didn't make you any less cranky. "Do you really think you're gonna puke blood and then just be allowed to walk about like everything's fine? You're crazy. You need to stay in bed until a doctor can see you!"

Huh. So that hadn't been a dream... Maybe it was the fever talking, but you didn't really care too much. You didn't want or need to see a doctor. You tried to reason with him.

"If I don't blow the lint out of the line it could catch fire. You want that, Star-Brat?" Ok, so you were still a bit cranky, probably could have said that nicer. Oh well. You tried to pry his hand away but failed, sighing in frustration.

"Already did it." Kraglin lied, throwing a hinting look to Peter.

Taking the cue Peter nodded. "Uh- Yeah, he got it done while you were sleeping.'"

"See?" Kraglin said, "Now you got nothing to worry about and you can just get some rest."

You jerked your arm and this time succeeded in freeing yourself, but not without feeling faint. "Nice try." you say, stumbling back a little. "There's still other stuff I needed to get done."

Peter grabbed your arm again, afraid you might fall backward if he didn't, and this time wasted no time marching you in the direction of your room. "And it can all wait until tomorrow. Right now you rest. This is the last time we're gonna tell you."

You looked at him confused. Last time? Had there been others? Oh right... you thought remembered him and Gamora yelling at you once before... oh and Yondu... you had forgotten Yondu. Bunch of mother hens...

Too weak to free yourself again you settled for complaining that you were fine, and for Peter to just let you go about your business. It all went on deaf ears.

On the way back to your room the three of you passed by Yondu, who laughed and said, "Told ya the squirt would try and escape again, didn't I? Just as stubborn as the two of you boys."

Peter chuckled, looking to the blue man and saying, "Remember that time we had to literally tie Kraglin to the bed when he caught the Kree flu and wouldn't stay in the Med Bay?"

Kraglin rolled his eyes and Yondu laughed, looking at you. "Now there's an idea!"

You shot him a look. "If you tie me down I swear I'll gut all of you," you say crankily.

"Stay in bed then and we won't have a problem," Yondu grinned, adding, "Don't make us have to knock you out."

You glared at him again but finally allowed Peter to lead you back to your room with minimal grumbling.

Once in your room he threw back your covers and ordered you to get into bed or else he and Kraglin would tie you to it. Afraid they might actually follow through with the threat, you obeyed, grumbling about how they were treating you like a child.

"Quit acting like one and we won't have to," Kraglin quipped, pointing to the water glass on your table and stating how you needed to keep your fluids up and that it better be gone by the time one of them came back to check on you.

You just turned on your side away from them and grumbled out a sleepy, "Yeah, yeah. Leave me alone."

Satisfied that you'd finally stay put the two men left the room. Once Peter closed the door behind them Kraglin said, "I guess I better actually go clean that dryer line now, huh?"

Peter chuckled. "Yeah, maybe."

***

Peter met up with Gamora on the flight deck. "How soon until the Doc can get here?"

As soon as he, Gamora, and Kraglin had all ran down from the flight deck to see what Yondu and Rocket were yelling about and found you passed out in Yondu's arms in front of a puddle of your own all-too-bloody sick they immediately sent Kraglin back up to call one of Berhert's doctors to try and get one to meet them at the ship, knowing they were still about three days out from even thinking about landing.

"Still about a day out," Gamora answered.

"I'm getting nervous," Peter admitted since it was just he and Gamora alone now. He told her how you were you were practically burning to the touch when he was dragging you back to your room for the final time, and even though you put on a good act with the banter, you couldn't hide from him the fact that you couldn't stop shivering or the way you looked like death warmed over.

He also told her what Kraglin had said, how they thought the fever was getting to you. When they found you last you were making your way towards the flight hangar, but you thought you were headed towards the laundry. They were on opposite ends of the ship.

Gamora validated his concerns, taking his hand to comfort him before saying, "Don't worry, the doctor will get here in time."

Peter sighed and nodded.

If- No. When you got better, Peter was going to kick your ass for making him worry.

***

You woke up again a few hours later feeling thirsty and achy. You looked over to see you still had about a sip of water left and drank it. Placing the glass back on the nightstand you stared at the ceiling for a moment before realizing you also needed to pee. Ugh. Inconvenient. If you couldn't work or do anything else you'd at least rather be sleeping. Actually, now that you thought about it, right now you didn't even want to work anymore. You just wanted sleep.

You knew surely you wouldn't get yelled at for being out of bed for getting up to use the toilet, so you sat up with the intent to roll out of bed and walk across the hall to do your business. Maybe you'd get some more water on the way as well.

No sooner had you sat up did you see it in the corner. Your stomach flipped and you rubbed your eyes, but it was still there. With horror in your eyes and your urge to use the toilet completely forgotten, you stared at the horrifying sight, unable to make a sound.

In the corner of the room was a humanoid figure, looking like it had been skinned alive. It was eyeless, only dark oozing holes remained where its eyes should have been, same with its nose. It was twitching grotesquely, blood and yellow ooze sloughing off its body as it did so, puddling about the floor at its feet. It tilted its head at you with a wicked toothy grin of sharp yellow teeth.

You pressed yourself against the headboard, shaking like mad, only a tiny squeak able to leave your throat. Sweat tickled down your forehead but you didn't dare move to wipe it away.

You sat like this for what felt like an eternity but was likely only a few moments before you heard the door to your room open and heard Yondu's voice.

"Me and Rat just came to make sure ya didn't run away again." He chuckled, before noticing the state of you and his tone changed. "What's the matter?"

You didn't look at him, didn't say anything, not wanting to take your eyes off the monster or do anything that might spur it into motion, and pointed a trembling hand at it.

Yondu looked where you were pointing. There was nothing there.

He looked down at a confused Rocket and just muttered, "Shit," realizing that you were likely hallucinating from the fever. He spoke to you softly, easing himself into the room so as to not make any sudden movements, "Listen here now, there's nothing there. It's alright."

You swallowed hearing his words. There was nothing there. There was nothing there. It couldn't hurt you. It couldn't-

It took a step towards you.

"Please," you managed to get out, jerking back into the headboard, trembling. You silently begged that you would fall asleep, or wake up, anything to make the nightmare before you go away.

Yondu's eyes widened and he held up his hands as he took another gentle step toward you despite how you still hadn't looked his way. "It's alright, you're ok, whatever it is- it's not real."

"Please," you say again, pleadingly, "Please knock me out."

Yondu looked at you in confusion. "What?"

"Please... Please. Knock me out. Sedate me- I don't care." You begged. You believed his voice when it said the creature wasn't real, or at very least you wanted to believe it very badly. However, believing it wasn't real didn't change the fact that you could still see it. Tears started to leak from your eyes. "Please make it stop."

Seeing you beg like that tore at something in Yondu's heart. You guys all did scary shit all the time. Came with the job of being part of the "Guardians of the Galaxy." Everyone had seen each other scared at some point, but this was different.

He spoke softly. "Ok, ok." He looked at Rocket for assistance. When he had threatened to knock you out earlier it had only been a joke. Other than sucker-punching you, which he had no intention of doing, he didn't actually have anything he could give you that would knock you out.

Rocket spoke up, uncharacteristically softly, trying to be helpful. "Look, it's ok, we're here, you're safe." He made to jump up on the bed before Yondu could stop him.

A reddish oozing blob similar to the creature in the corner but with reddish eyes jumped up by your feet and you screamed.

Yondu's scolding cry to Rocket of "Dammit, boy! No!" was drowned out by your cry as you kicked and sent the horrible thing flying to the end of your bed. It just managed to keep from falling to the floor by sinking its claws into the blanket, and it stood back up with a shake. You shrieked as you threw your empty water glass right at the creatures head only for it to catch it and toss it aside on the bed.

Then you felt strong hands grab your wrists. You heard Yondu's voice calling your name, saying it was alright, that everything was ok, but it wasn't Yondu. It was the creature from the corner.

"I don't think that's helping!" Rocket said, hopping off the bed to narrowly avoid being kicked again.

"Well jumpin' up on the bed wasn't yer brightest idea either, boy!" Yondu scolded back. You were sliding down the headboard, trying to get away from him, so he switched tactics. He traded gripping your wrists in favor of wrapping his arms around you, effectively pining your arms with your wrists against your chest in a hug so he could rock you gently saying, "Shh, it's alright, you're safe. It's alright. Shh."

Tears ran down your face as the creature wrapped itself around you. You turned your face away, kicking and struggling to break free as you cried softly, "No no no! Please no!"

Yondu continued to rock you, hoping you'd snap out of it. After a couple more shushes and assurances that you were safe, that weren't quite working, he threw a sideways glance at Rocket. "This doesn't leave this room, got it?"

Rocket cheekily replied, "Me? Tell everyone you're a giant softie? Never!"

Yondu glared at him and was about to say something snarky in return when he heard Mantis from the doorway.

She peeked in nervously. "Is everything ok? I was walking by and I heard screaming."

Rocket got an idea. Drax had told him how Mantis had put Ego, an entire living planet, to sleep. Surely a mere Terran should be no problem. "Mantis come here, we need your help."

Mantis quickly but shyly entered your room. Seeing the state of you in Yondu's arms she worriedly asked the pair if you were ok.

"Not exactly." Rocket answered honestly, telling Mantis how the fever put you in a bad way, and they now needed her help to put you to sleep so you'd feel better.

"Think you can do that for us, Bug?" Yondu asked, still holding you tightly as you cried and struggled to get away, his eyes nearly pleading.

Mantis nodded.

You felt the creature's arms wrap tighter and you kicked fruitlessly. You had kept your eyes shut tightly, but upon feeling that you almost had an arm free you allowed them to open.

You regretted it.

There was now also a shorter monster, just like the one from the corner that had you now in its clutches. Dark horns protruded from its forehead and it opened its glistening maw as it reached a bloodied, oozing hand toward your face.

You threw back your head in a weak, terrified, cry of anguish, struggling against the hold of the other monster as you kicked and sobbed a desperate, "Please no! Don't!" before once again darkness enveloped you.

Your struggling ceased and Yondu laid you down to rest on your pillow, brushing some sweaty hair back from your eyes before standing up.

"Jeez," Rocket said, shaking his head and wondering aloud what you had seen that made you do "that."

Yondu looked down to see that Rocket wasn't just referencing your terrified crying and thrashing. He made a face of pity before sighing and looking up at Mantis. "Sweetheart, I need ya to go fetch Gamora for me, alright? If ya can't find her get Drax. I'm gonna go find some more sheets."

***

When Mantis came and told Gamora what had happened she immediately had Peter call the doctor they sent for to ask him what to do. You were clearly worsening and Peter was worried the doctor wouldn't get there in time.

Once on the line and after finding your temperature was over 40°C, and learning about the hallucinations, the doctor instructed that you needed to be cooled down immediately, and suggested they place you in a cold bath or shower. After that, they needed to keep your fluids up and monitor your fever.

Until the doctor would get there in about 18 hours, there was unfortunately not much else he could tell them to do.

So they waited.

***

The next time you fully came-to was nearly two days later.

You woke up in your bed feeling tired but better than before. Your stomach was still slightly achy, but the terrible cramping was gone. You also didn't feel as cold and stiff as you previously had.

You sat up, this time without the room performing cartwheels as you did so, and you took that as a good sign.

The room was dimly lit, but you still noticed you were wearing different clothes. You also felt... cleaner than you'd expect, for lack of better word. You realized the implications were that one of the others had likely bathed and re-dressed you and you resolved not to think too much about it as you felt a blush start to creep up your neck.

A loud snore startled you and you looked over to see Drax asleep in a chair between the wall and your bed, an open magazine spread across his stomach where he must have fallen asleep reading it.

You quietly swung your feet over the bed, intent on stretching your legs a bit, but you were startled again when your feet touched down on the floor and a loud tinkling of bells set off, startling Drax awake in turn.

After a grunt and a rub of his eyes he looked at you disapprovingly, asking what you were doing.

"I was just going to walk around a bit," you answer, doing your best not to be snarky. "Why the hell are there bells trip-wired to my bed?"

"You're supposed to stay in bed. You kept trying to get up and falling. It was Rocket's idea so we'd hear you trying to escape."

It was your turn to make a disapproving face, but you supposed you couldn't exactly be mad at them for caring, even if it seemed unnecessary. "Well, why are you here?"

"We've been taking shifts to watch over you, Peter said we were waiting for your fever to break, but I told him waiting for your temperature to return to normal would be sufficient."

"Oh," is all you could say, brushing off his absurd literalness. "Um, thank you." you add quietly. You hadn't realized.

"Yes. Now will you go back to bed, or do you need help going to the toilet again?"

You blinked. "Excuse me?"

"Well, each time you were almost awake enough to think you could walk the past couple days it was because you needed to use the toilet or you were going to vomit. I just assumed you were doing it again. You're very stubborn."

"No, Drax." you say, blushing fully now. You weren't sure if you were embarrassed more by his bluntness or the new knowledge that the others had to help you pee and clean up your sick. You didn't even want to think about if they had to wipe your ass. You'd literally die. "Even if I did, I can do it by myself. I feel much better now." It wasn't until then that it hit you what he had said. "Wait- Did you say two days?"

"I did."

"I've been out... for two days?"

"Yes."

"So... this whole time? ...You guys have been looking out for me?"

"Yes." Drax answered, seeming confused why you'd even ask. "Us and the doctor that came by yesterday." He raised an eyebrow. "Why are you crying?"

You wiped at your eyes quickly, having wished he hadn't noticed the tears that sprang to your eyes and filled your waterline. "I'm not," you sniff, looking down a the bed. "Just... Thanks. You didn't need to do that, so thanks. You can go to bed now. I feel better now. Sorry."

Drax stood. "Why are you apologizing? That's what family is supposed to do." He picked up a thermometer that had been placed on your nightstand and aimed it at your forehead. "And we did need to. You are small and weak like Peter. You would have died if we hadn't." The thermometer beeped and Drax read it. "You're right, your temperature is almost back to normal. But I suggest you still go back to sleep."

You wanted to tell him he was being dramatic about the dying part, but then you remembered that you actually didn't really remember much past seeing your bloody vomit, and you had absolutely no memory of any doctor, so you didn't push it.

"If your fever is gone you no longer need to be watched. I'll let the others know. Goodnight." Drax said, walking around the bed towards the door.

"Uh, Drax?"

He turned to you. "Yes?"

You wrapped your arms around his middle. "Thanks again."

He returned the hug, patting you on the back as he said, "You don't need to thank me. I know you'd do the same in return. Now sleep."

You pulled back from the hug and nodded, a gesture that you'd be good and go to sleep.

Drax seemed to want the confirmation of you getting back under the covers though, so with a light laugh huffed through your nose you crawled back between the sheets and obeyed. Seemingly satisfied, Drax finally left.

***

You woke the next morning feeling almost completely like yourself again.

You washed up and dressed, but not before removing the trip-wire bells from your bed, and then you made your way out of your room to get a glass of water and see if you could find the others.

Turned out, both the water and your teammates were all in the same place.

You walked into the kitchen to find everyone already inside. Before you could say anything Kraglin spoke up.

"Look! The world's worst patient lives!" he said with a grin.

"Nah, Krags, that's still you." Yondu corrected, giving you a wink as Peter agreed with him, but amended that it was a close race.

You walked over to a cabinet to get yourself a glass. "Drax told me what you guys did, and- well, thanks," you say walking over to the sink. "I mean, spare me the details, I don't want to hear anymore about it than what Drax already told me happened, but still, thanks. You didn't need to." You filled your glass and turned back to face them, sipping your water.

Yondu noted your blush and nudged you in the arm on his way to the coffee. "Don't mention it, kid."

This sentiment was met with nods and verbalizations of agreement from the others. You were family. That's what family did.

"Kay, but next time, which I hope there won't be, just stay in bed." Peter laughed.

"Yeah, yeah." you say, grumbling playfully.

"You hear that? Someone write that down." said Rocket, "We're going to hold you to that."

"Don't push it." you say, eyeing the raccoon.

"What? Your stubborn ass only tried to escape like a hundred times," Kraglin joked.

"And that's my cue to get to work," you say, setting your glass on the counter with the intent to run away from this conversation. However, you were stopped by Yondu grabbing your sleeve with an "Ah, Ah" and Gamora shoving a bowl of Yarrow Root across the table with the command to "Eat something first. You don't want to set yourself back and get sick again."

You sighed but didn't argue, knowing it was better to comply and realizing you were a little hungry anyway. You took a root from the bowl and bit into it to satisfy your friends.

That's when Peter speaks up and tells you that the doctor said you needed to take it easy for at least a day or two.

You narrowed your eyes. "When?"

"When she was here."

"When was that?" You take another bite of the root.

"Couple days ago."

You swallow. "Well then I'm considering that as time served." you say, deciding you'd take your breakfast to go.

Drax blocked your path.

"Um, can I get through?"

"No. Quill said this might happen. I'm stopping you from escaping. Finish your breakfast."

You shoot a glare at Peter before giving a hopeful look to Rocket. "You can talk some sense into them, right?"

Rocket shrugged. "Not my problem." before collecting Groot and leaving the kitchen with Mantis, who mouthed the word "Sorry" to you as they left.

You sighed, knowing there sure as hell wasn't any reasoning with the other five. "Really? This is what we're gonna do?"

"Yep." Peter grinned. Yondu and Kraglin simply shrugged behind their coffee.

Once you relented and sat down Gamora stood and stated that it wouldn't kill you to rest after being sick before leaving with Drax, who had apparently decided his job as security guard was now over. He said he was glad you were feeling better before following Gamora to the door and saying to her, without consideration that you could still hear, something to the tune that he imagined you felt better... now that you weren't puking and soiling yourself.

You choked on your water.

The other three pretended to be utterly fixated with the table and walls of the kitchen and you covered your face with your hands and moaned, "Next time please let me die."

"Will ya settle for us forgettin' it happened and never speakin' of it again?" Kraglin asked, fighting back a chuckle.

"Yes please." you squeaked from behind your hands.

Seeing an opportunity and taking it Peter added, "You still have to take the next couple days easy though."

"Anything!" you promise, lowering your head to the table.

"I think we got ourselves a deal." Yondu laughed, getting up to put his now empty coffee cup in the sink. "C'mon squirt, I'm sure we can find somethin' to take your mind off it."

And you did. You spent the next couple days just hanging around the ship with the guys and watching old movies Peter had collected over the years, telling funny stories, playing cards, and actually keeping your promise to let your body rest. Before long the whole ordeal was all but forgotten, but you were still always grateful for your family.

You knew no matter what, they had your back.

[azurelyy]

Ship your moots 💘

OMG YES!! I am honored you would ask me this lol.

@delirious-donna Donna’s gotta be with Daddy Nanami imo. The two of them would be the parents to the chaotic friend group that is my moots LOL. Plus I think the two of them would get on really well. I can see them sipping on wine at the end of a long day and relaxing together - they’d be so cute 🥰.

@tired-biscuit You already know it’s Kiba. Not just because I know you two would hit it off but because I am scared of what would happen if I put someone else. At this point, Kiba is your anime husband and there is no convincing me otherwise. Your last name may as well just be Inuzuka 😂

@actuallysaiyan I ship you with Jiraiya! You’ll always be able to see any concert you go to forever because he can easily place you onto his shoulders 😂. Also ya’ll are both little horndogs and I love you both for it!

@nightingaleflow I was pretty torn between a few but at the end of the day, I have to go with Lee! You’re both such sweeties and I love the thought of you two just skipping down the street together, hand in hand 🥰🥰. And correct me if I’m wrong, but I feel like Lee would be a great partner to you just because I feel like you’re a bit introverted and he would be the one to speak up on your behalf if you needed him to. *throws love confetti on the both of you*

@allyallygator Neji! He would treat you right and I think you’d be able to balance him (the man needs to relax lmao). I think you’d be able to help him understand life doesn’t need to be so serious. I just love the idea of you braiding his hair while watching a movie, forcing him to take a damn break! Haha

@sneetsnoot Honestly I ship you with Jiraiya too! You have the same sense of humor and ya’ll would be damn hilarious to hang out with. I don’t think I’d be able to breathe around the two of you lol.

I’m sorry if I missed anyone but my brain is running at like 50% capacity because work is slowly ruining my life 😅. Also I’m sorry if me tagging you is annoying 🥺

[autumnsart22]

Gaming with Shigaraki

Heyyy! So I know literally nothing about video games except for like, Wizard 101 🥲 I tried my best to write it accurately, but sorry if it ended up like shit. 

Art creds go to @ludosartstuff. Go check them out, they’re super talented!

You had been part of the League of Villains for exactly six months, and yet you barely knew a single thing about your leader--Tomura Shigaraki. You knew he hated to lose, and that he acted like a child much of the time. You knew he could dissolve people with his bare hands. You knew he hated heroes, especially All Might. But that was just about it. 

It’s not like you were particularly interested. Everyone in the League had their secrets, you included. He wasn’t obligated to share. But it felt strange to you that while you knew Dabi’s favorite food was hot soba, and you knew Toga weirdly liked cat plushies, you didn’t know a single personal thing about Shigaraki. He always opted out of the nights when you would all hang out, watching movies or training, and you had rarely had any conversations one on one. 

Which was why you were so surprised when you quite literally slammed into him at 3 in the morning one night, after you had deliriously stumbled to the bathroom to relieve your poor blatter. 

“O-oh!” You stopped in front of him, shaking the sleep from your eyes as you tried to focus. “Sorry.” 

Shigaraki stood in front of you, dressed in grey sweatpants and a black sweatshirt, his blue hair all messed up. He didn’t look the least bit tired, his red eyes bright with annoyance as he glared down at you. 

“What are you doing?” He hissed, and you held up your hands. 

“Um. Peeing?” 

He snorted, and you noticed a glass of water in his hands, one finger carefully lifted to keep it from dissolving. 

“What are you doing still awake? Don’t we have a big mission tomorrow?” You asked. 

“And?” 

“I mean...shouldn’t you sleep?” 

“I’m fine.” He went to push past you, and you realized that you were right next to his bedroom, the door wide open. 

Being an assassin, it was partially your job to be nosy, which was why you didn’t feel too bad as you blatantly poked your head towards the doorway to peek into his room. To your utter astonishment, there was a large screen set up with an advanced looking console placed in front of it, a familiar video game icon blinking from the center. 

“What the-- You play (whatever video game you want lol)?”

Shigaraki whirled around, furious to see you entering his room uninvited, but he paused as he took in the excitement on your face. 

“Yes...do you?” He sounded very skeptical, making you cross your arms. 

“Yes. I haven’t been able to play in ages though.” 

You looked at him sidelong, and Shigaraki glared. “No way. You’re not touching my stuff.” 

“Come on! Just one round.” 

“Weren’t you the one who said we had a big mission tomorrow?” 

“Yeah but…” You pursed your lips, staring at the screen longingly.

Shigaraki looked like he was moments away from murdering you, but for some reason you knew he wasn’t going to turn you to dust. For one thing, you were useful to the team, and for another, you didn’t think he was really that mad. 

“Let me finish this round,” he snapped, and you grinned, seating yourself on the rugged floor next to him. Now that you were fully inside, you could see that the rest of his room was a complete mess, stacked with wrappers and dirty clothes. 

“Ugh, you should clean in here,” you murmured, and Shigaraki glared. 

“You invited yourself to my room, and now you’re telling me to clean it? I should kill you right now.” 

You held up your hands again, fighting a smile. “Sorry, sorry. Didn’t realize it was such a sensitive topic. 

“Tch.” 

You lapsed into silence as he picked up the controller, and you noticed that he wore a pair of gloves that left his thumbs open so he wouldn’t dissolve the console. 

As he clicked resume on the screen, he wiggled the controller expertly in his hands, making his avatar within the screen jump off a large building and shoot someone in the air. 

You watched in wide eyed admiration as he destroyed the game,  mouth falling open during a particularly tense moment when three different gunmen came at him at once. You gasped out loud as you watched his avatar duck and roll, shooting them one after the other in quick succession before sprinting towards the nearest building to get out of view of any snipers. 

You had played this game a while ago, but you had never even been close to this level of good. He must have been playing for years. 

Shigaraki ended up winning with almost three thousand points, which made your jaw drop when you realized the average score. 

“Ok, give it to me,” you said, suddenly impatient, and he handed over the controller a bit reluctantly. 

He showed you what each of the buttons meant, since you had always used a keyboard rather than a console, but as the game started, you continuously slammed into a wall, unable to get your avatar to move around it. 

“What the fuck!!! No no, AHHH--” A shooter came up from behind you and shot you in the head. 

Game Over: 0 points. 

“WHAT,” You practically yelled, outraged. Shigaraki was gaping at you, and you glared back at him. “It was my first try, ok? I haven’t played in a while.” 

You ended up playing three more rounds, all of them ending in under five minutes. The most points you got was 120, but you still bragged about it endlessly, dancing around the room in excitement. 

“A literal child could have done better than you,” Shigaraki snapped, but his lips were twitching. 

“No one asked your opinion.” You stuck out your tongue. 

“Do you want me to show you how it’s done?” He stuck out his hand for the controller, and you took the perfect opportunity. 

“Yes actually,” You smirked, marching over and plopping yourself directly in his lap. I heard him make a noise of horror and shock, and you looked over your shoulder up at him. “Can you show me how?”

You grinned in satisfaction as you saw his face flushed red, his eyes wide, but after a long moment, he relaxed as his long arms slid around your waist. His hands (which were still in the gloves) were gigantic compared to yours, and easily enveloped your fingers as he held the controller with you. You leaned back against his chest, and you felt him shudder slightly. 

“Um. You just--” he cleared his throat, and you tried not to laugh. 

You ended up winning with significantly less points than his first round, but it was still ten times the amount you had gotten on your own. 

“I think I’m getting the hang of it,” You grinned, leaning your face back to find him only an inch away. 

“Yeah you—you’re improving.” His eyes flickered to your lips, and you felt your heart stutter.

Before you could catch your breath, he jabbed you in the side, making you shriek and fall off his lap. 

“You can’t just tickle a person like that!” You gasped, rubbing where he had poked you, and Shigaraki rolled his eyes. 

“Only weak people are ticklish.” 

“WOAH THERE, you’re talking about like...the whole population.” 

“Not me.” 

“Well, we all knew you were weird.” 

You argued the whole night, passing the controller back and forth between rounds until you fell asleep sitting up, still smiling. 

In the morning, you found yourself slumped on the floor, curled in one of Shigaraki’s blankets. The League of Villains leader himself was also asleep, controller still in his hands. 

“Shigaraki,” you whispered, and he jolted. 

“Huh?” He looked around blearily before his eyes came to rest on you again. “What the fuck are you still doing here?” 

You shrugged. “Who cares. Don’t we have a mission?” 

“Shit.” He scrambled to his feet, and you followed him out his door into the hall...where Toga, Dabi, and Mr. Compress were standing as if about to knock. 

“Uh--” Mr. Compress blinked, while Dabi’s eyes moved between you and Shigaraki slowly. Toga just burst into manic laughter. 

“Damn. Didn’t realize you two were fucking.” Dabi’s voice was slow, and you flushed bright red. 

“W-what? That’s not--”

Shigaraki was already heading away, not even bothering to explain, and you rolled your eyes. 

“Whatever.” 

[loveless-scribes]

Uchiha Itachi: NSFW Alphabet

So, it has come to my attention that Itachi of the Uchiha has been done a disservice in the eyes of the internet and been called terrible names. *COUGH* vanilla *COUGH* basic *HACK* I assure you, my friends, nothing could be further from the truth! And so, I present to you, my interpretation of the one and only. Enjoy.

A = Aftercare (what they’re like after sex)

Aftercare is not optional. It is just as much a part of the experience as foreplay and the actual sex. 

Will he clean you up? Not religiously, like it’s something he’ll do every time, but yes, he would. If you’re still feeling tired or lingering in bed by the time he’s gotten cleaned up, he wouldn’t think twice and just take care of you as well. If you mention that you think it’s sweet or you enjoy it, then… YES, he would absolutely start doing this religiously. 

Expect hairstroking and holding you to his chest, letting you listen to his heartbeat. If you want to share your 4 AM thoughts here, he’ll be down for it and let you know what he thinks about your ideas. After you’ve fallen asleep he will stay awake sorting through his thoughts, over what it means to have you by his side and the risks involved for you. This is pretty much the only time in the day that it’s safe to be vulnerable with his thoughts and so, this is where he will think about what you mean to him, and press a kiss to your forehead before finally going to sleep himself. 

B = Body part (their favorite body part of theirs and also their partner’s)

Eyes, definitely. The eyes are known to be the windows to the heart and his own eyes define so much of his life and his destiny, so yes, he could stare into his partner’s eyes for an almost uncomfortably long time, drinking them in. I can’t really say he’s a butt or boobs guy cuz that’s not how his mind is wired. He’s wired to be mission-oriented and there’s no room in his mind for distractions but on his S/O he would appreciate and worship every inch of her. 

C = Cum (anything to do with cum, basically)

Um… breeding kink, anyone? Defo see him as having one. Is this an underlying psychological thing because he was deprived of having a normal family? At the same time, though, he’s in no rush to have children of his own, because he knows what a terrible place this world can be. But the desire to spill his seed deep into his S/O’s womb is deeply ingrained. Modern birth-control would really solve this problem. 

Also, swallowing. *COUGH* If someone does this for him it will go straight to his head. Prepare to be rewarded. 

D = Dirty secret (pretty self explanatory, a dirty secret of theirs)

Hmm… I almost feel guilty about characterizing him like this, but I could see him somewhere deep down having a desire to have his partner submit to him? Not in the sense that he would ask for that, but if he had a wet dream about his S/O she would probably be on her knees, and he would feel guilty about it the next day and be a little sweeter than usual to her. 

E = Experience (how experienced are they? do they know what they’re doing?)

Okay! So, this is an unpopular opinion, but I don’t think Itachi is inexperienced! Even if we take Canon!Ita (but maybe age him up a little) I feel like there could be situations, mission-related, or pursued by women he objectively finds appealing, where saying no is just more inconvenient than going along with it. Especially if it’s for the sake of a mission, he wouldn’t think twice. Or if he does it in order to not blow his cover. While he does largely turn admirers away, more for their own good and because he’s generally not interested, I do believe he could have realistically encountered situations in his travels that led to sexual encounters. He hasn’t taken a vow of chastity, so I don’t see why he should go to unreasonable lengths to say no?

So yeah, in my mind he definitely has some experience, but not a whole lot. Obviously, he takes necessary precautions to ensure those brief dalliances stay just that. 

F = Favorite position (this goes without saying)

Hahahaha, so I had to do some research to find out what this position is called. The Mastery? Basically, it’s woman on top but the couple is in a seated position. Meaning, he gets to look into your eyes and just basically, the heightened intimacy and closeness of this position are what does it for him. Also, he has more control than in the normal girl-on-top position, so he can control the pace somewhat and help you out. 

But if you’re tired, he’ll pick you up and flip positions, he won’t wait for you to admit you’re tired and he won’t listen to your protests. He wants to see you out of your mind in ecstasy, not wondering whether or not you’re too tired to continue. 

G = Goofy (are they more serious in the moment? are they humorous? etc.)

Alright, so it’s Itachi, right? He isn’t very jokey. That just is what it is. He might do something unintentionally that might make you giggle, or you could laugh out of nervousness and while he very much enjoys that sound he doesn’t really know how to provoke it from you. It’s just not his area of expertise. (Sorry, Ita. Couldn’t give you this one.)

H = Hair (how well groomed are they? does the carpet match the drapes? etc.)

Hmm… well, Itachi definitely is clean by nature, and is definitely well-groomed and particular in all aspects of his life, so… I’m going to go with trimmed. Neat and orderly. Just like everything else about him. 

I = Intimacy (how are they during the moment? the romantic aspect)

I lowkey just want to link my oneshots to this, cuz they say it all, but alright! He will want to be connected to his S/O. That means either being able to see her face, or if the position doesn’t allow for it to hear her voice the entire time. He’s good at that. He’s so sweet and considerate and perceptive. He knows what’s working for you and what isn’t even without you saying a word, He may not have a whole lot of experience, but he has an innate talent (because doesn’t he just… with everything?) and he’s an exceptionally quick learner. He will legit ruin you for anyone else because if you ever ARE with anyone else and they snap at you, “What do you think I am, a mind reader?” You’ll realize what Itachi was doing.

So, yeah. He wants to make sure you’re into it and you’re taken care of and you’re near delirious with pleasure before he decides to let go himself. Being self-sacrificial and caring for others is in his nature. So, yeah, you really need to man up and figure out what he needs because he isn’t going to tell you. But you’re smart. You’ll work it out. (OR JUST READ THE REST OF THIS ALPHABET.)

J = Jack off (masturbation headcanon)

Sorry, no. Don’t see him doing this. You have to consider how disciplined the guy is, and how insanely busy. It really is kind of a waste of time at the end of the day and if he wants it that badly, he can just make the trip to see you. 

K = Kink (one or more of their kinks)

Teasing, edging, getting you to beg. He feels bad for you, he really does. But how much more can you take? You won’t know until you know. He’ll reward you for your patience though. And let’s be honest, you’ll love it, teasing and all. Not to mention mindfucking you to oblivion.  

So, I went through an alleged “complete” list of 239 kinks to try and answer this question and most of it was just… weird. So, let’s do this differently. What follows is an incomplete list of things I could potentially see him being into or good at or have an interest in. In no particular order: mirrors, sub/dom play (with a little coaxing and admitting to himself that this is even a thing that he’s into. It would absolutely be limited to the bedroom, though), sensory deprivation, and.... bear with me here, but… I could see him having a hand for Shibari. THINK ABOUT IT. Those knots and things they learned to tie in the ninja academy? And we know Itachi is the best of the best in everything he does. So, I don’t think this is beyond the realm of possibility. 

Generally speaking, though, he just doesn’t have the time for this stuff. BUT IF HE DID…

And now, this is exclusive to AM!Ita but he most likely has a praise kink. Being hated and cursed for eons, and being disillusioned with his own role, if his S/O comes in and tells him how great he is, how handsome, how wonderful. How good he is at what he does. How wonderful he makes her feel. Mmmm. I can see that doing things to him. XD

L = Location (favorite places to do the do)

Ideally, in a lake or a river. Outdoor bathing spaces are generally approached with caution, so even if someone were to come by they would call out and make sure no one is there first, which means, less risk of getting caught. And I mean, this is Itachi… He’s an S-rank exiled nin. HE KNOWS HOW TO NOT GET CAUGHT. LOL. But yeah, he spends a lot of time out-of-doors. He’s more accustomed to the starry sky overhead than the roof of a house or woodland cabin. In my interpretation, he feels very much at peace when surrounded by nature and he would enjoy being intimate with you in that setting. 

M = Motivation (what turns them on, gets them going)

Confidence. Enthusiasm. Not necessarily seduction, if it’s a stranger he’s dealing with, this is more of a turn-off than anything. But if it’s his S/O and she turns up the charm and crooks a finger at him… You might even get a smile on that stoic face. I don’t see him being into the shy and stuttering type. If you blush and say, “No! St- stop!” He’ll literally stop. And probably apologize. AND NOT DO IT AGAIN.

If you try and explain to him that your no doesn’t mean no… Ah, yeah. He’s not into that. Be straightforward. Say what you mean. Don’t play games with him. He’ll see right through you. 

That being said, being a lonely fighter all his life means he’s very sensitive to your touch. Just run a hand along his shoulder in passing and he’ll grab it and press a kiss to your palm, and haul you in. I could see him being into your hands. It really isn’t hard to turn him on, it’s hard to earn his trust and a position in his life that gives you the right to touch him and be touched by him. But when you’re there, it’s the easiest thing in the world. A smile, a kiss, a brush of your fingers over his collarbones. He’s a goner. 

N = No (something they wouldn’t do, turn offs)

Pegging. This goes without saying. I can’t really think of much else he wouldn’t be into. I mean, stuff that’s a little more out there. Watersports. Daddy/Mommy kinks. Actual exhibitionism, (not genjutsu version) no way is he going to let anyone look in on your most intimate moments. Impact play. He knows very well what his hands are capable of, and there’s a lot of blood on them, so he really wouldn’t be into stuff that involves actually hurting you. 

If his S/O likes it VERY rough, he might resort to genjutsu so that she gets what she wants, but he doesn’t have to actually hurt her. Other than that, bruising, choking, the usual level of roughness? Bring it on. Being adept with his hands also means he knows very well where that fine line between pain and pleasure is. 

Not to mention, he’s very perceptive, so he’ll figure out what you’re into even without you saying it. He’s also very giving so he’ll focus more on your preferences than his own. But if the day ever comes where you realize what submission does to him… The man would be putty in your hands. Kukukukuku...

O = Oral (preference in giving or receiving, skill, etc.)

Both. 

Giving, because he has absolute control over your pleasure, and because he enjoys how easily he can drive you out of your mind. We’ve established that he’s a terrible tease, so driving you to the brink and leaving you hanging, feeling every single one of your reactions… It’s good stuff. 

Receiving takes the cake though. Being that vulnerable with someone, even having someone he can trust that much. It’s definitely something he’s very partial to, something that makes him soft towards you, and something that plays into his forbidden desire of seeing you submit, whether or not he’s aware of it. He’ll make sure to return the favor tenfold.

P = Pace (are they fast and rough? slow and sensual? etc.)

This is an odd question I think, because… doesn’t it depend? On how much time he has, on how the two of you are feeling, on what the mood is? 

Anyways, I’m going to go ahead and say slow and sensual because he really is a man who likes to take his time with you. He likes to feel every one of your responses, hear every little mewl and whimper and moan that crosses your lips. He definitely makes it an experience. 

Q = Quickie (their opinions on quickies, how often, etc.)

Not his preference, but he isn’t above having a quickie if that’s all that time allows. But he would definitely follow up with a proper session at a later time, then. 

R = Risk (are they game to experiment? do they take risks? etc.)

Itachi is so nice. He really is. There’s nothing you could want that he wouldn’t be willing to try at least once for your sake. I mean, apart from the stuff listed under “N”. 

And would he take risks? YES, HE WOULD. Because his assessment of the risks varies greatly from yours. So, something that you would think is very risky, might seem not risky at all to him, because he knows exactly how to go unseen, unnoticed. You might think he’s being risky, but he’s well aware there was a 0% chance you were going to get caught. Because Itachi skillz.

S = Stamina (how many rounds can they go for? how long do they last?)

Stamina! *insert sparkles* AM!Ita has been established in the works, so I think that needs no comment. Canon!Itachi is a freaking fighter. An S-class exiled nin. Someone who claims Itachi has no stamina wants to start something with me. DID YOU SEE HIM HAND SASUKE’S ASS TO HIM? Despite his illness? He lost because he CHOSE to lose. I don’t see the Akatsuki hauling out a wheelchair for Itachi to go on his missions, so don’t go telling me nothing about Itachi having no stamina. SHAKE MY HEAD WHILE JUDGING YOU.

Dude is strong as hell. And you can’t tell me some bedroom fun is more physically taxing than literal superhuman battles against huge ass tailed beasts! It’s just ridiculous. I’m not here to rant. Better calm down.

I’m here to tell you our man can go for at least three rounds and you will *GUARANTEED* always tire out before he does. 

T = Toys (do they own toys? do they use them? on a partner or themselves?)

Yes. The sharingan. THE ONLY TOY YOU WILL EVER NEED. As mentioned above, he’s not above using his skills to heighten your pleasure, and mess with your mind. But actual, physical toys? Nah, the thought processes that would lead to considering, comparing, and actually purchasing those are just so foreign to his thinking. It would never even cross his mind. What can a toy even do that he can’t do better? (To his thinking anyway. Well, he’s not wrong.)

U = Unfair (how much they like to tease)

He will make you beg. Absolutely. He’s totally unfair. He will have casual conversations with you while driving you out of your wits. And then he’ll ask you why you’re not answering him. Ask you what’s wrong. Ask you what you want. LIKE HE DOESN’T KNOW. 

V = Volume (how loud they are, what sounds they make, etc.)

Itachi is very restrained and disciplined so, unfortunately, this means he isn’t very vocal. I know, cry with me, it’s such a waste. *hires an orchestra of the world’s smallest violins* BUT that means when you do manage to make him groan or moan in pleasure, it’s such a huge ego boost. Apart from the sounds he makes when hitting a climax, he’s generally in control and whispering praise and teasings into your ear or over your skin.

If you want him to talk, get on your knees and give him some head. Not kidding. Mentioned it above already. He gets to let go, a lot of his secret kinks are getting fulfilled, he feels vulnerable and is cool with it. He’ll dig his hands into your hair, cup your cheek, his eyes will roll into the back of his head and he’ll tell you on a low moan what a good girl you are. 

W = Wild card (a random headcanon for the character)

So, let’s say you’re waiting to talk to him and he’s busy meeting with some people or whatever and you’re standing off to the side patiently. He just briefly glances at you before turning back to his comrades and BOOM. Next thing you know, he’s got you by the neck, has you pinned against his desk/table/whatever (this was originally a Hokage!Ita headcanon so do with that what you will), and is doing unspeakable things to you in front of everyone. No sooner does the encounter come to an end, than you suddenly wake up and find yourself still standing right where you were, until it happens again, and this time he takes you against the wall. It’s an illusion wrapped in an illusion wrapped in an illusion more times than you can count and when you finally do come to your senses, you can barely stand. The meeting is over. Itachi turns toward you, “You wanted to speak with me?”

Ah, yes. Good old Itachi mindfuckery.

X = X-ray (let’s see what’s going on under those clothes)

I mean, muscles, yes? Lots of them. Man’s fit as a fiddle. He’s a ninja. So, yes, the entire delicious length of him is covered in lean, firm muscle. He’s clearly well-endowed because… he just is. Maybe not the longest cucumber in the farmer’s market (which isn’t to say he isn’t long, because he is… don’t claim I called him short) but thick and veiny and above all else, attached to a man with a brain who knows how to use it efficiently. Thank you for coming to my TEDtalk.

Y = Yearning (how high is their sex drive?)

This is a tough one, because the constraints are not on his drive, but on his time. He’ll take whatever chances he can to be with you. AM!Ita is established to have a very high sex drive, but he also has restraint, so when you’re not into it, he’s cool with it. As if that would ever happen. So, I would have to say, the actual encounters will unfortunately be far between because of his lifestyle, but he will always make up for lost time.

Z = Zzz (how quickly they fall asleep afterwards)

Kind of already mentioned this above, that those moments afterwards with you are his most vulnerable moments where he feels relatively safe and at ease, so he stays awake for a long time after, sorting through his thoughts. Also, he won’t say this to you, but it’s his job to protect you, so there is no way he’ll fall asleep before you do. Not gonna happen.