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timetravelshit · 3 months ago

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Chapter One: The Worst Boat Ride of The Rest of Your Life

This is a book about time travel, and all of it really happened. If you somehow manage to create a time machine, then this as a cautionary tale. If you didn’t create a time machine, you can stop reading, in case you somehow get the idea that making another one is a good idea. If you were gifted this book, and feel obligated to read it, tell whoever gifted it to you that I gave you permission not to read it. If you bought this book thinking it would be an interesting work of fiction, I’m sorry to disappoint, but it is all true. If you’re the Church of the Holy Timeline, you can contact my lawyer Aaron Stone (and don’t try to steal my time machine again, it doesn’t work anymore).

Now, if you’re still here, let me explain. My name is Emmet, and I invented time travel. I didn’t do it on purpose, in fact, I was postdestined to. It’s like predestiny but retroactive. I wouldn’t recommend time traveling because everything you do has consequences. Even stepping on a butterfly. Especially stepping on a butterfly. Most of my problems started in 1862 when I stepped on a butterfly, but I’ll get to that. Let’s start in my present day. Circa early 21st century. Traveling through time was really a weekend hobby for me between my time trying to earn a degree in digital art and working at a bicycle repair shop. It was October and I was more worried about my Halloween costume and midterms than the end of the universe. That was until I decided to take a quick trip to 1496 to see if I could find Leonardo da Vinci and asked him about The Last Supper painting. I was writing a report on it for my art history class. Homework help might seem like a stupid use for time travel, but in my defense, I didn’t know how it worked. Too many time travel movies had convinced me if I tried to do anything drastic, I might erase myself from history. I had been testing the waters in the previous weeks, going on short trips to see if anything bad happened. At that point I just hadn’t figured out the consequences.

It was mid-afternoon on a Thursday when I opened my closet door to go attempt to have a conversation with Leonardo da Vinci. The only preparation I had made was putting a Renaissance faire costume cloak over my regular outfit in an attempt to look inconspicuous. You might be thinking I didn’t think through anything I was doing at all. You would be right. Throughout this story you will be continuously let down by my judgement. From my closet I grabbed a metal thing. The thing looked like a Frankenstein of a toaster, a Nokia, two walkie talkies, half a wall socket, and a piano toy for kids. That’s because it was made from a toaster, a Nokia, two walkie talkies, half a wall socket, and a piano toy for kids. I can’t tell you how it works in case you figure out how to make one yourself. All you need to know is if I put the date and time into the Nokia and play a tritone on the midi piano, it takes me when and where I want to go. I had to google the coordinates of where Mr. da Vinci’s house at the time. I knew enough from my art history class to choose the year 1496. I assumed if he wasn’t home when I got there, I could jump forward to when he would be home. I plugged the cord of the toaster into the socket on the other side of the machine, entered my destination in, and played the chord. The two antennas from the walkie talkies were stuck into the air, collecting whatever data they needed to be satisfied with the trip. At that point none of my attempts to go back in time had yet failed because the antennas hadn’t picked up any signal. The Nokia screen turned from grey to green, and with that I was sent through time.

Traveling through time feels like a disappointing elevator ride. You’re flung through time and space so fast that you don’t feel any vertigo. In the first instant you’re transported you can feel the earth dropping out from under you, like an elevator, but it’s only noticeable if you focus on it. When you land, you’re struct with a gust of wind from the air displacement that’s only powerful enough to mildly ruin your hair. However, it’s only underwhelming until you open your eyes to whatever place you ended up. I found myself in a stunningly green courtyard in front of what could only be described as a mansion. A cool summer breeze was gently rustling the leaves of the trees around me. I could hear distant conversations carried through the air and it didn’t smell nearly as terrible as colonial Boston did. It was downright pleasant out here. Satisfied by my surroundings, I shoved the time machine into my backpack, hid the bag under my ridiculous cloak, and walked over to the wooden door I assumed was the front entrance.

The front path to the door was lined with statues of cherubs and split around a concrete fountain. It was nice by the standards of any time period. I chose the left side of the path and followed the stairs to where it all met back up at a thick wooden door. I raised a fist and knocked three times. The sound was stiff against the dense wood. I heard someone inside yell something, the voice muffled, and I couldn’t make out any of the words. I stood there for an awkward amount of time. Not long enough to feel the need to knock a second time, but just long enough to feel uncomfortable standing without beginning to fidget. As I heard the bolt slide open, I noticed I had begun absent mindedly twisting the fabric of the cloak around my fingers. I quickly put my hand down, suddenly incapable of holding my arms normally.

I figured out three things in rapid succession when the door opened. Number one, I didn’t speak Italian. Number two, I didn’t know what Leonardo da Vinci looked like. Number three, they had guns in 1496. I realized these things when a man whose identity I didn’t know flung the door open, pointed a gun at me, and started yelling at me in a language I didn’t know. The gun looked more like a toy than any modern weapons, but it was clearly a gun. The man repeated the first phrase he shouted at me when he opened the door. I assumed it meant “put your hands up,” “I’m going to shoot you,” or something to that effect.

“Holy shit!” I put my hands into the air, the cloak falling just over my shoulder to reveal the knit T-shirt sleeves underneath. I had only been under gunpoint once before, but at least I knew what that guy was saying to me. It took all the self control I had not run, but I didn’t know what the man with the weapon wanted me to do so I stood there frozen. He seemed satisfied by this and took a step back, letting me into the doorway and saying something to me in a much calmer tone. When I stared at him confused, he repeated it. I still stood there, not sure what to do or what to say or if I should say anything at all. He said something else, something different this time in a far sterner tone. I decided to say something, at least so he knew I couldn’t understand him. “I don’t speak Italian.” The man looked at me, skeptical. “English?” A painful memory flashed into my mind of the three weeks in high school I spent reading the Canterbury tales and the realization of just how much I didn’t belong in 1496 hit me like a drunk man to a mailbox.

“English.” He nodded. “You speak the Chosen Tongue.” I certainly didn’t expect that. He had a strange accent, clearly not a native speaker of modern 21st century English. Which would make sense, considering we were 600 years apart. “Follow.” He gestured inside with the gun in case I didn’t get the message. I put my hands down and stepped into the house. It had the faint odor of cloves, which I found stranger than the man with a gun who could speak English. It was an expansive interior decorated with fineries, but even though the cups and plates were antiques to me, it was clearly disheveled in the way things get disheveled when no one cleans the house. I was taken out of my observations by the sensation of metal on the back of my skull. For a brief moment I expected to die right then and there, but instead the man pushed me forward and said, “walk.”

The house wasn’t devoid of people, but no one seemed to pay any attention to me. I saw two men walk past wearing white robes with red sashes engaged in deep conversation. I saw three others through a doorway, all wearing green, having a conversation that sounded like it was in English. I didn’t look back to check, but I recalled the man who had a gun to my head wearing the basic white and with the red sash. The man steered me through two open doorways and toward a staircase leading underground. I felt my fear intensify and I hesitated. The man pushed the gun harder on my scalp and I stepped down the stairs. It took me the whole walk to build up the courage to say, “No offense sir, but I think there’s some sort of misunderstanding here.”

“Your name is Emmet, no?”

The metal barrel felt colder and harder than before. “I…” My mouth was dry. “Yes sir.”

“No misunderstanding.” He sounded almost chipper. If wasn’t terrified I might’ve even been peeved by his tone. I wanted to say something in return, but I couldn’t get my vocal cords to do anything. I walked down the stairs, opening my mouth three different times only to find I couldn’t convince my mouth to make any sounds. “We have waited for you.” This didn’t ease the terror anymore than the gun to my head did. He led me down a dark hallway with walls cut out of stone. The hall dead ended into a dark brown door. Unlike the front door of the house, it was not elaborate. When I stopped in front of it, the man reached around me and turned the dull grey knob.

I think I expected a prison cell or torture room. Instead, the room was the same stone as the hallways, lined with wooden support beams. All that occupied the room was a man wearing green robes, a table, and astonishingly, my Time Machine. I became suddenly aware of the weight in my backpack. I knew the Time Machine that had brought me here was still in the bag I was wearing. I could hear the metal clang as I stopped inside the doorway. The man with the gun didn’t seem to mind this. The man in the green robes smiled at me warmly. He didn’t look anymore than twenty, even wearing his extravagant robes. In fact, he looked oddly familiar, although I couldn’t place him. “Emmet, I’m so glad you could make it.” He was British. I was surprised by this more than I would like to admit. “I've been waiting a long long time for this.” He looked at the man behind me. “Alexander you can put the gun down now.” He rolled his eyes as if Alexander was a rowdy child. “I apologize for the show, but I couldn't let you get away Emmet.”

With the gun pulled down away from my head I found I could actually form sentences again. I immediately wanted answers. “What is this? What's happening?”

The man sighed. “I assure you you're not in any harm's way. My name is Dorian.” He paused and studied me, eyes jumping across my face, down my cloak, and back up at me again. “It's strange knowing this is the first time you've met me. I would tell you to say hello when you meet me before I’ve met you, but I already know how that’s going to go.” My mouth actually hung open in astonishment. I was wrapped up in some sort of Time Travel Shit! I was under the impression that I had been very careful with all my previous trips through time. I had taken every step to make sure I avoided Time Travel shit. Of course, now I know that you cannot be careful while time traveling. I think even if you stood in the same spot and did nothing you would still destroy the timeline. “Now Emmet,” Dorian said, his eyes narrowing. “I need you to take out your bag and give me your Time Machine.”

“What? But- what? I don’t understand.” Understatement. I understood the situation about as well as a fish understands differential calculus.

“Oh, don’t worry.” Dorian waved his hand dismissively. “I know one way or another you're going to get it back So hand it over now or I'll have Alexander take it from you and I don't think you want that.” Another understatement.

“No!” I heard the pitch of my voice slip up far higher than I intended it to. “You already have one.” I pointed at the one on the table.

Dorian actually had the gall to laugh at that. “Oh no, Emmet.” He shook his head; I was getting uncomfortable with how often he used my name. “That’s there so that you know that one way or another, I’m getting it from you. Because I already have it.” I knew what he was going to say next as the smile fell from his face. “So, we can do this the easy way, or the hard way.”

I stood there, mouth agape, fully unprepared for Time Travel Shit. Unfortunately, I was going to get used to it fast. Dorian let me have my moment of utter bafflement, trapped in a room with a mysterious robe-wearing man by another robe wearing man with a gun. He watched me as I stood there for what had to be twenty seconds. He stared at me, hauntingly patient. Silently, I pulled my backpack off my shoulders. I hesitated, trying and failing to judge his reaction. Dorian was agonizingly calm. I pulled the Time Machine out of my backpack and set it on the table next to the other version of it. I was somewhat surprised it didn’t explode meeting a version of itself, but then again, I had no idea how it worked. I put the machine down and took a step back.

“Thank you, Emmet.” Dorian’s smile returned. “This is for the best.” He walked up to the version of the Time Machine I just set down on the table. “Honestly, I hope you understand one day.” He sounded jarringly sincere, and I realized everything else he had said until that point was an act. With that, he typed something into the keypad. I watched him plug the machine into itself. The Nokia display turned from grey to green and Dorian visibly relaxed, as if he expected it not to. “Au revoir, Emmet.” I had never seen someone use the machine from the outside. It’s considerably similar to the sensation. One moment, Dorian was there, the next he was gone. No flash of light, just a slight gust of wind.

Assuming you’ve never experienced Time Travel Shit before, the closest analog for the overwhelming confusion it causes is calling it the emotional equivalent of getting off a boat. The world continues to rock under you even after you’re far away from the water. That is how Time Travel Shit feels to the unprepared.

Alexander and I stood there for a long, quiet moment, staring at the spot Dorian previously occupied. Eventually, I decided to ask the question that had been on my mind since Dorian started giving me demands. I gestured to the other Time Machine on the table. “So…” I didn’t meet Alexander’s eyes in case he but the gun back on me. “Do I take that one?” Alexander stared at me for just long enough I wondered if he was just going to shoot me right then. I didn’t know what being shot felt like and I didn’t much want to know. For the second time I was laughed at for my lack of understanding of the situation. Alexander’s laugh was more pitying than Dorian’s was.

“No. You go to jail.” Alexander raising the gun again. “Come along.”

It turns out the ominous door leading into a jail cell was on the other end of the hallway. The room was built identically to the room with the table and my only way back to the 21st century. The only difference was this one was furnished with a small wooden bed, a bench, and a bucket. My heart sank and if not for the vivid feeling of metal on the back of my skull I would’ve hoped it was some strange paint fume induced dream. I also would’ve accepted side effects of carbon monoxide poisoning, hell even black mold. However, I wasn’t so lucky. Alexander pushed me into the room with the barrel of the gun. “Dorian will talk to you in the future.” Alexander informed me in his strange broken English. It was only strange because of the setting. In fact, I consider anyone who goes about learning the English language a hell of a lot smarter than I am. I wasn’t sure if this applied to Alexander. The strange phrasing of the statement caught my attention, but I couldn’t make heads or tails of it. I turned to face Alexander and asked what his statement meant, but he had already closed the door, and I heard a deadbolt sliding into place from the outside.

And so, I sat there. Waiting. I didn’t wear a watch which time traveling because watches don’t spontaneously become accurate just because you break reality. If I wanted wear one, I had to manually adjust it every time I landed. Usually, I just ended up with an out of sync watch that was easier to leave at home. Without a watch I didn’t have a very good sense of time passing, let alone while stuck in an underground room. I knew it was long enough I considered trying to take a nap, but not long enough to come up with a good escape plan. I didn’t know how to pick locks, and besides the deadbolt was on the outside of the cell. So, I just sat on the bed, letting the seconds roll by. I tried to rethink everything that Dorian said in an attempt to make sense of it. My attempt was ineffective and only left me more confused, so I sat there. Eventually I got tired of fiddling with my cloak, then tired of fiddling with my hair, then tired of fiddling at all.

I was yanked out of my scared boredom by a gust of wind. Someone materialized in the room. “You’re going to want to start memorizing everything I say.” That feeling again, getting off the worst bait ride of my life to find the world is still rocking under my feet. That Time Travel Shit feeling. “You’ll need to remember it later.” I stared, trying to wrap my head around what I was seeing in front of me. “Stop trying to figure out what’s going on and just accept it.” Good advice. In the center of the room, holding the Time Machine, was me.

Chapter Two: https://www.tumblr.com/timetravelshit/763234407613071360/chapter-two-a-brief-digression-in-order-to-give?source=share

#original character #original fiction #book #booklr #time travel #sci fi #science fiction #Time Travel Shit

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madsotc · 3 years ago

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so anyway. here's my thing. in a show like Leonardo, that obviously couldn't give less of a shit about historical accuracy, it is absolutely criminal not to seize the chance to have legendary renaissance man Leonardo Da Vinci hate fuck legendary renaissance man Michelangelo. if I was involved with this show somehow, no matter how small my role, no matter if I was just the guy who runs around bringing drinks to everybody, I would fight tooth and nail to see that happen

#the potential is astronomical....#you just need to want to have fun with it #can u imagine... they fuck exactly once. Leonardo leaves for France forever bc of it.#sorry I was so into Leonardo da Vinci when I was a kid #and in my adulthood I've come to find the idea of #kind and generous Leonardo interacting with notoriously bad tempered Michelangelo so endearing #AND another crime of the TV show was making Leonardo such a shitty guy too #burbles.txt

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parkerpeter24 · 2 years ago

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"New Years Eve was supposed to be fun – instead we ended up in a prison cell. This is your fault." with nathan roping the reader into a quick job before they were going to go celebrate new year’s eve and they got caught stealing something

one of my favorite blurbs to write because just like nathan im also a history whore 😳

pairing: nathan drake x reader

winter blurbs 2.0 ❄️ | 2.0 masterlist ❄️

nathan hated cathedrals. it was a fact that there was an unspoken dispute between him and the nuns. you never knew why because he was oddly silent about his past– and this was the case when you were his best friend. all you knew about him was that he had an older brother who left him in one when they were kids.

you were all he had left now. not your own words, he’d told you so on various occasions.

but when he asked you to accompany on another hiest at santa maria delle grazie. it was 3:54 am when you found yourself holding a torch to help nathan.

“did you know, against the tradition, leonardo da vinci used oil to paint ‘the last supper’ on wet plaster.” the brunette explained as the two of you passed the mural.

“why do all your historical facts surface while we’re stealing stuff.” you rolled your eyes.

“it’s a historical place!” he whisper-yelled at you.

“can we get that cross already?” you sighed.

“it’s not just a cross, it’s a key to one of the greatest lost treasures of all times. when ferdinand magellan set to sail across the world-” twixt all his rambling, his hand wrapped around yours, pulling you over to wherever this ‘key’ was. your heart did a flip even though you told yourself it was just anxiety in case you got caught, “if we found that thing, it would be the best new year’s present ever.”

“nate.” you flashed your torch towards the glass case, signalling to your partner in crime that you found the golden cross.

he rushed the two of you over, already trying to figure out a way to hack the keypad lock to open the case.

what the two of you hadn’t noticed was the presence of a third party– more like a fleet of police officers. apparently one of the nuns at the cathedral had called the cops.

and so what could have been a beginning to the best new year of your lives, turned into a buzzkill. nate paced around the prison cell while you sat in a corner, “it was right in front of us.” nathan complained dejectedly.

“new years eve was supposed to be fun – instead we ended up in a prison cell. this is your fault.” you voiced your thoughts. nate gave you an apologetic look.

“i know. i’m sorry about that.”

you parted the space beside you in attempt to call him to sit with you. he trudged over, sitting beside you with crossed legs, “i guess you could call that a little bit of fun.” you chuckled making him do the same.

the dull yellow of the bulb inside the dungeon and the pale moonlight peeking in from outside lit up nate’s eyes as you stared into them. for a moment you thought he was leaning in, but for all you knew you were being delusional.

you blinked a few times to break out of this trance you’d put yourself in. however, you were proven right– and wrong, respectively– when a pair of soft lips was placed over yours.

nathan’s breath fanned against your cupid’s bow as he moved his lips against yours, sliding a hand behind your neck to pull you closer.

as soon as the two of you parted, a content sigh left nathan’s throat, “i promise to get us out of here before new year, baby.”

taglist | masterlist ✨

taglist : @httphollands @the-girl-in-the-chair @annathesillyfriend @uwiuwi @spideyspeaches @prancerrparkerr @usergarfields @theglitterymess @quaksonhehe @lowkey-holland @starlight-starks @piscesparker @incorrectsourwolf @wildxwidow @annab-nana @blankspaceblankday @kelieah @arvinsvintage @parkersdahlia @raajali3

#nathan drake x y/n #nathan drake x reader #nathan drake x you #nathan drake #tom holland #tom holland blurb #tom holland imagine #tom holland fanfiction #nathan drake blurb #nathan drake fanfiction #nathan drake imagine #winter blurbs 2.0 ❄️#uncharted

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bodhrancomedy · 3 years ago

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Subtitles:

Hey, who wants to hear why a Deaf Irish autistic history nerd would make a terrible Doctor Who companion?

Hi, Doc… I was looking for you… um, quick question, is letting Leonardo da Vinci draw me… bad… for the future?

Uh, no, I don’t have a special skill to ‘make up’ for me being autistic. You got one to make up for being ignorant?

*rustling as they sign in BSL*

… I also might have let him look at my hearing aids… have I really messed up?

*rustling as they move towards the camera. Then an evil cackle and a dull thunk sound as they rap on their head to sign Idiot.*

I’m sorry I woke it up, Doc, but why did you expect the Deaf kid to know when they were being loud?? Oh, boy -!

It’s fine, it’s fine, I’ll just make sure it’s one of his lost works. BUT I HAVE A DA VINCI PORTRAIT AND YOU CAN’T TAKE THAT AWAY FROM ME.

You’re gonna pay for KillKenny, Ledrede. No, I’m not a witch but I can see the future and, you know what? I’m not locked in here with you, you’re locked in here with me.

Their name is Odhrán and I’m up to 42 videos to explain why they’d just be so *terrible* as a Doctor Who companion.

PS: I am a professional actor and writer. So…? You like?

#Doctor who #DW #Odhrán Catton #Deaf #Deaf Irish History Nerd #actuallyautistic #funny #video #TikTok #comedy #acting #actor

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chika-the-terrible · 2 years ago

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HP x AC AU?

I know this has probably been done to death, but Harry being raised by people other than the Dursleys can always lead to some interesting takes, and here’s my contribution to that.

Do note that I haven’t played all of the AC games yet, certainly not Black Flag, Unity, or Rogue, so I apologize if some things are OOC for the Assassins. It’s also been a long while since I read the HP books or watched the movies, so sorry in advance if the information is inaccurate.

Working Title: With Accidents, You’ll Never Know What Could Happen

Main Idea: Basically, Harry is raised by the Assassins, but not just any Assassins. I’m thinking, maybe because of a Time Turner or a Piece of Eden or something, you have most of the main Assassins (Altaïr, Ezio, Connor, Edward, Arno, Jacob, and Evie) finding themselves in England in the 1980s. Huge differing team-up, but they’re all trying to survive in a time period they don’t understand and so try to make the best of it. And then they come across Harry, who is not being treated well by the Dursleys, and so they kinda just steal Harry and make him their own kid. After that, shenanigans ensue.

Here are some of my ideas, pre-Hogwarts:

Everyone kinda agrees that Jacob and Evie are the de facto guides, since they lived in the time period closest to the present and they lived in London, but they aren’t the ‘leaders.’ That job goes more to Ezio and Altaïr.

Their first priorities are to find a place to stay and get jobs. Once they have those covered, they can start figuring out what happened and how they can get back to their own times.

Altaïr, Ezio, and Arno know some English but not a lot, so it’s kinda up to Evie to help fill in the gaps, since I imagine she also studied languages with her assassin training and because it seems a little unlikely to me that the three knew a lot of English. My thought is that the Animus translated most of the language when playing as them, so they don’t actually know a lot. Until everyone can understand each other better, Evie helps act as translator and mediator.

While I haven’t had the chance to play Black Flag yet, I have a feeling that Edward and Jacob would immediately start butting heads because of their personalities and so a small rift might start between them. Also, Edward has no idea that Connor’s his grandson and Connor plans on keeping it that way until he knows Edward more so he can make the decision to trust him.

It’s after they’ve had a chance to settle in and get jobs that they come across Harry. Harry’s either been left behind or they see the Dursleys not treating Harry right and so they step in. It’s immediately understood between all of them that they can’t return Harry to the Dursleys and so they make up a new identity for him, making him Jacob’s son to make it more believable.

Everyone takes turns caring for Harry. Some feel more awkward about it than others, but they all enjoy Harry’s presence. And since there’s seven of them, each one takes a day to care for Harry and try to teach him their own things. For example, Edward tries to teach Harry about being a pirate and ships and tells him stories, and Ezio teaches Harry some Italian and talks way too much about Leonardo da Vinci.

Over the years, Harry learns a lot from the Assassins. He learns their languages and histories before he enters primary school, among other things, and most of the Assassins just want to keep him innocent from their actual profession. Unsurprisingly, it’s Altaïr who first advocates against this, but not because it’s how he was raised. He understands that, while the world is different, it’s still plenty dangerous, so Harry should be prepared. Connor agrees with this and Ezio is soon swayed to their side because he can also see the benefits. Jacob and Evie are vehemently against it because of their own upbringing as Assassins and they don’t want Harry to go through the same thing. Not sure what sides Arno and Edward would be on, but the issue leaves the group divided until the magical world makes itself known. It especially becomes a non-issue once they learn how big of a target Harry has on his back.

Harry’s powers do spark up sometimes while he grows up with the Assassins but it’s never anything big, so they don’t make too much of a fuss over it. It’s only after they get the owl letter and someone comes to see them that they see that the Precursors weren’t the only strangers in the world.

#my post #harry potter #assassin's creed #assassinscreedseries #altaïr ibn la'ahad #ezio auditore #connor kenway #ratonhnhaké:ton #edward kenway #arno dorian #jacob frye #evie frye #writing #writing ideas

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celestialgaea · 3 years ago

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hello, noticed ur requests r open! is it okay if I could ask for a fic of Ezio/F!Reader with the theme of jealousy coming from Ezio? thank you if you accept my request! your works are amazing!

I have been wanting to fulfill this request for such a long time but I went through quite a rough period and I always felt the guilt of letting you wait linger upon me. I am so sorry for letting you wait. I have not forgotten you, your request was always in the back of my mind and I'm grateful for finally being able to write again!

I hope you enjoy the fanfiction!

(Request) Ezio Auditore x F!Reader // Jealousy

Warnings: (slight) mature content

Pairings: Ezio Auditore x (Female) Reader

summary: You are Leonardo's apprentice and have gotten the assignment to draw the naked male body from different perspectives. But when Ezio is paying a visit to Leonardo he doesn't seem very delighted with his lover drawing another man's private part.

You had underestimated the assignment. When Leonardo first told you about drawing a naked man you hadn't perceived the false comfort of your own assurance, who convinced you into thinking that seeing a fully bare stranger is nothing but the nature of a human being, as an illusion. Until the horrific scene of the young male, probably in his early twenties, slowly discarding himself off his clothes manifested itself behind a wooden changing screen.

Your mind kept replaying the former scene of the young male talking in slight shock to your maestro about how the apprentice was a women. A women that would create an image of his private part underneath the blunt end of her charcoal stick. During the open conversation, as the man was not ashamed of his shock whose cause leant more towards the fear of visible arousal than the mysogenistic side, his face and neck began to change into a more reddish skintone.

'Y/N,' Leonardo whispered, pointing towards his chest. 'Cover a bit of your chest, Ragazza. The poor man is quite...weak. I don't want you to get horrified.' You scoffed as you pulled up the fabric of the nightgown underneath your dress. 'Forgive me, maestro, for showing fertility.' You mocked. Leonardo shook his head, as if he were trying to remove his excessive thoughts to make more room for your shameless remarks. 'Ragazza, you know that I have no problem with your breasts, and i'm sure you know why, But this kid is as mature as the mosquitos that flied above Cleopatra's head during a scorching summer night. Be prepared that his "pride" might show itself."

Your heart began beating faster at just the mere thought of it, and the rustles of the male's fabric rubbing against each other as they fell onto the ground, entangled into one big flood of linen and leather, made his presence very clear and thus brought tension in the air that encircled you. 'Giovanni, Dannazione, are you almost done, boy? You're taking too long!' 'Maestro, no!' You whispered as annoyance took a hold of your voice. 'Ragazza, time is precious. And in these times of uncertainty I cannot lose any more.' And with that he turned his back to you and walked towards his desk not far away from your seat. You noticed how Leonardo's slouch has grown heavier over the past months, and his neck was more bent, as if it was bowing to his brain; the holder of his talent and geniusness.

Even though your eyes kept flickering through the various parchments filled with unfinished sketches and scrabbles you were still able to see the faint and disorted sillhouette of Giovanni walking from behind the changing screen towards the small wooden stage in front of you. His feet seemed humid as they loosened themselves from the floor with a sound similar to wallpaper being pulled away from a tacky wall. The boy slowly uncovered his private part, exposing a dark bush of intertwined curls, but when a knock on the door disturbed him he quickly covered himself again as the door was getting pierced by his anxious eyes. You regretted looking at it.

'Maestro, who is visiting?' You heard the sighs of parchment before Leonardo scurried towards the door.

'Ah. It's good to see you my friend!'

'It's good to see you too, mio amico.' The sonorous voice whose melodious words and promiscues groans swiftly danced towards you to embrace you in its tenderness was only able to come from one person only; Ezio Auditore. And it seemed that the young man wasn't fond of Ezio's presence.

'Maestro, I thought no one was allowed to disturb?' Giovanni's voice was a batter of shame and growing annoyance as he stood there with only his hands to cover his private part. Ezio glared at you. He saw you, he observed you, viewed you with spurned astonisment and the displeased look in his eyes made you grasp onto the understandment of why he was as fearsome as he was charming.

'I am unsure wether to turn to leonardo or you for an explanation, mia cara.' Leonardo had his hands up, almost touching Ezio's chest. 'Ezio, I have given her the assignment to draw a naked man.' 'Then why didn't you ask to draw me in nudity? There would be more flesh to capture than what that boy beholds.' Ezio surrenered himself uncontrollably to his impulses and attacked the poor Giovanni with his spit-filled words . 'Ezio, leave the boy out of this! He hasn't done anything and secondly; do not begin with the "Then why didn't you ask me", Because you know how scheduled you are. This is merely for educational reasons.' It felt sinful to get enraged with Ezio, but he had never behaved this attacking towards an innocent man. Along with his birth came his short temperance and even during the scorching season of maturing the searings left by his short temperance refused to heal.

'Educational purposes?' Ezio pulled at the leather skin of his gloves on top of his index finger as if he was planning on slapping the vulnurable model with it. 'Since when did looking at a cazzo become an educational enlightment?' The gloves were put on the table -Thank the Lord- together with his defected hidden blade. Ezio walked, no, he stomped towards a wooden chair that stood desolated in a corner collecting the flying dust and bits of dried paint that fell of a "failed", as the old man is still a perfectionist, da Vinci painting that towered above the chair.

Ezio let the chair ballance on its two front legs and allowed his dissatisfaction to guide his hand as it smacked the pieces of paint and dust particles off of its sitting surface. And how surprisingly odd it may seemed, you felt the muscles around your lower stomach contract in an ebb and flow that left trails along the flesh of your womanhood. He was angry, and so were you, and yet you felt aroused by him just uttering his jealousy to a lonely and motionless chair. For a few seconds you visualized those same rough hands whispering against the surrface of your weeping arse before turning them into a lovely shade of red. Ezio carried the chair and let its feet hit the ground next to you.

'Ezio, what are you intending to do?'

'Accompanying you.'

Oh, how he liked blending himself within the schemes of colours so his robes of red and white were the most appealing to look at.

'I do not need company. I'm doing very well on my own.' Ezio's fingers ran along your clothed thigh and gripped it sturdily. The lack of shame was transparant on him, removing the presence of Leonardo and Giovanni out of his realm of reality, as the humid warmth of his breath hugged your ear lobe.

'Ragazza, stop being hard-headed. I'm surprised that the boy is able to remain his excitement in custody. When I was his age,' 'Your cazzo had impregnated almost half of Firenze's youth. Not everyone is as rebellious as you were.' To your surprise, Ezio had remained silent. It seemed as though the sudden flare up of the middle aged consciousness had possessed him again and the teasing hand was removed from your thigh to fill in his crossed arms. His boyish teases were vanished. The man in his mid forties had appeared again; the outer corner of his eyes were folded into deepened curtains, the corners of his mouth were surrounded by the crescent-shaped smile lines which vitalized the apples of his cheek and if you looked at it with a certain view, not through the eyes of a classical artist, but through the eyes of a daydreamer, a madman, or a child you could play with the lines and follow it until his cheek slowly transfomed into a smooth segment of a rock being caressed by the spirals and curls of waves or maybe strands of hairs or whatever can be curly and spirally. Ezio grunted, focusing on the model, especially his croth area.

'Come one,' Ezio leant in to whisper in your ear, again.

'My cazzo is way more appealing to look at than his.'

'Ezio!'

#older ezio x reader #older ezio auditore #ezio auditore fanfiction #ac 2 fanfiction #ac 2 #assassins creed brotherhood #ac ii #ezio auditore da firenze

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wolven-chimera-2023 · 2 years ago

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I keep getting this stupid “tylenol causes autism” lawsuit ad on my facebook, I finally snapped and commented this:

“You people will do anything to avoid the fact that there is a 50% chance that because your child is autistic you might be as well.

I mean, how are you to cope, finding out that YOU are now going to be othered because of your brain chemistry?

How are you to cope now that you know the world wasn’t BUILT for you? Despite being built upon the backs of people like you (Mozart, Turing, Tesla, Steve Jobs, Bill Gates, Emily Dickinson, Leonardo Da Vinci just to name a few)

You just want to avoid responsibility for bringing another wonder into the world which is honestly hilarious to me because genuinely, who wants a neurotypical kid when you could have the next Einstein. Apparently you.

Disabilities are only disabilities in the context of the society not made for them. Imagine a world where everybody has wings. Everybody but you and 20% of the population. Now, you’re going to a class or a meeting or something and its on the 3rd floor but the building doesnt have an elevator or stairs because everyone has wings, right? Wrong. You dont. But nobody wants to build stairs because the vast majority of people dont need the stairs.

Its not hard to build stairs. Nor is it hard to turn down the lights for someone experiencing overstimulation or not making someone with a texture aversion deal with that texture. You can literally erase disabilities by making the world accessable and accomodating so instead of feeling sorry for yourself that you have a kid who shares a trait with some of the most brilliant minds in history, work to make your corner of the world easier for them to access.”

I think I worded it quite eloquently and with less sarcasm than normal (despite the entire comment being saturated in distilled sarcasm) mostly because what I wanted to say was something along the lines of “hey fucknugget, how can you be THIS stupid? I thought I was supposed to be the retard”

#autism #r slur reclaimed #r slur

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hasquetzorkukudoneanythingwrong · 3 years ago

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Codex Familia: Consequences pt. 1

It was late November, and the family was in Alaska for their annual vacation when tragedy had struck. In a very much wrecked karaoke club, Chaldean security operatives were combing through the wreckage recovering bodies and injured people while also investigating anything that may have recorded what had caused the incident.

The operation was lead by none other then Leonardo Da Vinci who came at the relatively urgent request of former Chaldean master, Rex and former servant Quetzalcoatl. It wasn't long until the genius had questioned the two as to what the hell happened.

"It's unfortunate to reunite after so long under such circumstances, you two." Said Da Vinci while talking to the couple. "The last I remember actually seeing you was the kids' quinceañera, right?"

"Right, you've been busy since" the solar goddess responded. "It is very nice to see you, amiga.... just not like this" she had finished.

"So.... let's cut to the chase." She finally asked. "How did the kids cause such a..... disaster?! It looks like a terrorist attack out there! In fact that's the story the UN is using to cover this mess up!" She questioned, clearly very concerned but also emotional.

"W-we're not sure, Da Vinci!" The former master had responded! "Maria just got up to sing for karaoke, after some encouraging and then suddenly while singing her eyes turned purple and everyone else in the building was acting hysterical! Which caused Ed to panic and suddenly that Burst came out of him with the lightning and shit and that's when everything had gone to shit!" Rex had answered, seeming somewhat confused and hysterical himself.

"I-I assume it's another manifestation of their authority" Quetz had interjected. "It wasn't long after the panic started and Mijo's outburst that the two seemed to faint from..... what I assume is anxiety and exhaustion from everything!" Quetzalcoatl had told Da Vinci, with more composure then Rex, but with equal amounts of worry showing on her face

"Well..... that does make an amount of sense" Miss Da Vinci had said in response, finally. "I'm having the team recover the victims while covering your tracks. Like I said we'll blame it on a terrorist attack, while making sure no trace of your presence here can be found. We'll have to monitor the survivors aswell." She had assured the two, filling them in on how she was handling things.

The two still had very worried looks on their faces. It was clear as day they were not ready for such a tragedy to happen, especially when their children were unintentionally responsible for such a thing.

Then suddenly walking into the room was Nightingale, with news it seemed. "Sorry to interrupt, but the children seem to be waking up. I think they'll need to see their parents soon, in case they're still in a panic over the events" the head nurse had told Da Vinci.

"Yes, by all means you two can go join them. They'll definitely need it after what happened." She had said to the two parents, while gesturing her hand for them to go.

"Thank you" Rex said in response

With a "Si, gracias" followed by Quetz.

The two walked into the infirmary that was set up on the site of the disaster. The kids were both in beds to recover from the shock of what had happened. They seemed to finally be getting back up.

"Aye, mis bebés!" Quetz had yelled out while running to hug the kids. She had ended up unintentionally pulling the beds closer while pulling close. "Aye, is everything ok!? Are you two alright?!" She had asked in such a panicked state.

"Mi corazon, calm down for a second, let them adjust to the situation" Rex had said in an attempt to calm the distraught goddess that was his wife.

"Right, I'm sorry" Quetz said while letting go of the children and getting back up from her hugging position then standing next to Rex.

"Um.... I feel a little dizzy.... and lightheaded... but other then that I'm fine" Mari said in response to her mother's questions as she placed her hand on her head, seemingly in an attempt to relieve the fatigue.

"Yeah, I'm feeling the same.... nothing too bad but.... it's definitely odd..." Ed had also said, replying to Quetz's worrisome questions.

"That's good to hear, at least mis hijos" Rex had said, thankful that the kids were mostly unharmed. "You had us worried after that happened"

"Yeah uh..... can you... remind us what happened?" Maria had asked her parents. "I have no memory of the last few hours....."

"Yeah, same here. What exactly caused this?" Ed also asked his parents.

"Oh......" was all that the two could say in response.

A/N: so there's a part 1 to this current fic! Things definitely aren't going well already. But I'm sure it'll all turn out fine! Hope people enjoy it!

Tags

@exmeowstic @hasbbdoneanythingwrong @hasspartacusdoneanythingwrong @haskamadoneanythingwrong @grievouslyxorvia @hizentadahiro @professorcharisma @vanillachaldea @chaldeamage-neo @witch-of-chaldea

#fate grand order #quetzalcoatl #wife #mastersona #rex #rexcoatl #maria #eduardo #leonardo da vinci (fate)#codex familia

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kaeyas-beloved · 4 years ago

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i’m a sucker for platonic teenage mc. could i maybe have a scenario where mc is v close to leo and accidentally calls him dad. maybe they’re building something together and it just slips out? and she gets all embarrassed about it but leo thinks it’s quite cute and he already mentally adopted her anyways??

(i hope this made sense!! i’m just soft for platonic relationships and the suitors being family figures for mc and leo just seems like such solid father material)

Truth be told Anon, when I first received this request I (out loud) went “yes, yes, yes, YESSSS" or something similar to that but you get the idea I was excited to write it.

And don’t worry, your request makes perfect sense! I just hope that I was able to fulfill it to your liking T_T (and I totally agree, Leo is father material)

Hopefully you enjoy this, if not you can always come back and ask again! This is my first time writing Leo so I’m sorry if he’s OOC at all...

Note: I used an the Italian term topolina in this, which, from my research, is a term of endearment that translates to ‘little mouse’

~~~

“Thanks Dad” {Leonardo x Platonic!Teen!MC/Reader}

Leonardo da Vinci’s room is a mess, that’s a given, but it was peaceful - quiet, a space one could immerse themselves in with a hobby as a form of pass time. In a way, his room was like a library when the silent rule is followed to a T.

And it was here that she could construct with a clear mind, no honking of cars nor sounds of people from outside whatsoever. It was heaven for an aspiring architect like herself.

“Just like that, easy now...” he murmured, watching with hawk-like eyes from the sidelines as the girl worked independently, putting the skills he’s taught her the past two weeks into practice. At the beginning of this little project they were working together, but about halfway through Leonardo fell asleep...

Carefully, strategically, the teen applied the last wood piece, completely the couple hour long build.

Taking a step back to stand beside him, she waits with bated breath, like the slightest change in wind could cause it to crumble. Yet when it held strong, a bright smile split across her face, Leonardo mirroring it with one of his own.

“Brava topolina, you’ve done it. On your own too” he chuckled, mussing up her hair playfully. She rolled her eyes, gently brushing his hand off her head. In no way though did that stop him from wrapping his arm around her shoulders, pulling her into a side hug.

“You helped, remember? We started the plane model together...” she reminded him.

“Maybe so, but you did most of the work and finished it. That’s worth something, you did good kid.” his praise caused her eyes to widen, his tone holding the warmest note that he’s ever used toward her since her arrival. All the other times where he’s recommended books on topics she’s interested in, when he taught her certain trades or brought her out to town pale in comparison to this very moment of bonding.

As she turned her gaze at the subject of their shared work, something they technically did together, a pleasant feeling filled her heart. Quietly, she whispered her thanks.

“...thanks dad, that... means a lot to me...”

There was a beat of silence before the severity of her words sank in, and a panicked expression morphed onto her face. ‘I did not just say that!?’. Leo’s brows rose in surprise as well, he too never expecting to be called dad, before returning to the usual calmness of his.

It’s true that the appearance of this girl from the future was a strange and different experience to him, a whole new world in some way. Yes, while in the past he’s gotten close to mortals of all kinds, adults, children and teens just like her, none of them could connect on a special level like this. There was never someone who he could just click with when it comes to sharing a hobby or two. Someone he could pass his vast knowledge of information down to to add to their own.

When she came along though she became exactly that person he was lacking in his life. She was the perfect mix of educated while still having room to grow and learn.

And yet he never could find an explanation as to why exactly he felt that way with her. What made her different from the others?

“Sorry, I, um, I didn’t mean-” she stuttered, so embarrassed she felt like she was overheating. Despite everything though, he didn't mind, and the master of all trades kept their wholesome hug going.

“Kinda like the sound of that...” he chuckled, gazing down at her.

“O-oh... can I... uh, keep calling you that?”

“Sure, I’d like that. Now, what do you want to build next?”

Maybe that was the answer - that the relationship they’ve built was akin to familial, she was someone he allowed to be just a little closer than anyone else. Why? Maybe because she knew the secret of the mansion, that he and the resident’s aren’t human, leading him to feel like he doesn’t have to hold anything back, that he can be himself.

And that alone allowed him to feel just a little bit alive again.

The thought itself kept the smile on his face as he watched her look for another kit to construct, and it crossed his mind that he’d do literally anything to keep her safe with a happy look on her face like she has now.

Anything at all...

…

…Bonus...

“You really are a papà now, huh, Leonardo?” Comte smiled, a teasing look in his eye.

“Quiet ‘Comte’”

~~~

As of me posting this, requests are open [check my bio though to be sure]! Don’t forget to check the rules too for the fandoms/topics I write for (which are linked in my masterlist)!

Masterlist

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carnelianns · 5 years ago

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Hello! I really enjoy reading your work, can I ask for just general headcanons for any ikevamp boyo of your choosing with a S/O(or MC if you'd prefer) who has no idea who these people are. MC; "I failed history twice and cheated to pass."

this ask is gold

Wolfgang Amadeus Mozart

Fame isn’t really important to the man in pursuit of the perfect song, but Mozart admits that your cluelessness does induce some frustration from him.

From what he’s gathered from Sebastian, his pieces — even those he didn’t expect to get famous — are awfully popular in the present time, so why don’t you know a single one?

You think it’s a coincidence that Mozart’s playing a pretty little tune whenever you pass by the piano room. It, in fact, is not.

He peeks his head out into the hallway to see if you’re near and if you are, he’s rushing to the piano immediately to play a composition of his to check if you really don’t know it. He’ll never admit it, though.

There’s a slight scowl on his face the day he finally pulls you inside the room itself, only warranting a questioning gaze from you.

“Are you certain.. you don’t know these pieces?” He asks, the gentle tune of Sonata No. 16 contrasting greatly with his furrowed brows and the slight jut of his lower lip.

You can only hum, lifting your head off from his shoulder as you meet his violet eyes. “I’m sorry, Mozart, but the only thing I learned in Music class was how to sleep without getting caught.”

The slight pout on his face transforms into a look of dissatisfaction as he sighs, the sound mingling with the sudden fast pace of “Eine Kleine Nachtmusik”, Mozart’s last attempt in seeking for a piece you know.

“Oh my god.” His eyes swing towards your form, widening infinitesimally at the look of recognition on your face. “That’s from Little Einsteins!”

He almost bashes his head in the piano when you explain that it’s from a kids show you thoroughly enjoyed when you were young, though he doesn’t have the heart to do so (or the skull).

You may be slightly uncultured, but he wouldn’t mind seeing the stars in your eyes much more often, even if it means having to play the song botched by a kids show every so often.

Leonardo da Vinci

Leonardo isn’t one to brag about his achievements, nor does he really care about them, so you being unknowing of who he is exactly isn’t really a big problem for him.

Although he finds it absolutely adorable when you bounce up to him randomly throughout the day, spewing an almost unintelligible “Is it true that..?!” and an achievement of his you probably heard from either Sebastian or Isaac.

He quite honestly falls in love with you more and more each time, if it isn’t clear from the slight crinkle of his eyes, or the soft, genuine smile setting itself upon his lips.

However, there has been something plaguing his mind ever since the day you first met. The words you uttered, and the dreamy sigh and faraway look in your eyes after.

“The only Leo I know is Leonardo di Caprio.”

Making no move to act upon his curiosity, Leonardo quickly forgets your unusual words. That is until he sees you soberly staring out the window one fine day, a sigh resonating through the empty living room.

“Cara mia, what’s wrong?” He asks, brows furrowed as he instantly takes a seat beside you. Not many times has he seen you look this blue, and god forbid it ever happen again.

“It’s just… You know… I sometimes think… Is Leonardo di Caprio doing well?”

A wry smile forms his face as you continue your lament, making inexplicable hand gestures here and there. “I just hope he’s okay, y’know? And god, you should see him. Young Leo is a different breed, perfection incarnate, the lo—”

“Cara mia, are you forgetting I’m here?” His guttural voice — one that seemingly dropped a few octaves — causes you to pause, eyes widening when you finally meet his intense stare and the irked smile on his face.

There’s no room to escape when he pulls you into his impregnable grip, carrying you bridal style to what you just know is his bedroom. ‘It seems I’ll just have to remind you which Leonardo your boyfriend is.”

Isaac Newton

Don’t get him wrong, he’s glad you don’t know of the famed apple incident, subsequently leading you to not tease him, but there’s only so much he can take.

The problem isn’t that you don’t know of him — he can care less, in all honesty. It’s that you don’t know anything about physics — hell, you could barely remember the three laws of motion.

So it was that every time you two are together, the vexed physicist manages to slip in a comment or suggestion about learning more about, well, physics.

Which often leads to you escaping from his grasp, more often than not giving the residents a wonderful show of a yelling Isaac chasing you around the giant mansion.

“I failed Science because I said Newton’s three laws of motion were made by Einstein, please have mercy,” you beg a scowling Isaac who somehow managed to wring you into the library for a one-on-one lesson.

“I don’t even have any words for you, you foolish woman.” He then proceeds to sigh, taking a seat beside you. Your fake sniffles cease as you turn towards your lover, a focused look making itself home on his face.

“... How in the heavens did you mistake me for Einstein?” There’s a visible pout on his face, his cheeks tinged a slight shade of red as he does everything to not meet your gaze.

“... Awh, is my lovely little scientist upset? Is he, now?” You coo teasingly, pinching his cheeks in a way one does an infant.

“Shut up!”

Your laugh echoes through the library as he turns away, crossing his arms. It does nothing to hide his now hot-red ears.

Taking it upon yourself to slide your arms around Isaac’s waist you hum softly, snuggling into his shoulder. “If it makes you feel any better, then I’m glad good ol’ Isaac Newton ended up being the love of my life.”

“... If this is an attempt to get out of your lessons, then it didn’t work.” Damn.

#ikemen vampire #ikevamp #ikemen vampire x reader #ikevamp x reader #wolfgang amadeus mozart #mozart #leonardo da vinci #isaac newton #headcanons

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nafeary · 4 years ago

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Can I have some really short headcanons with MC spending time with the Ikevamp boys?

✧✎ A/N: Hiii sweets! As I’m dealing with pretty heavy topics right, both in life and writing (my cheating!mc headcanon, oh my), I decided to make this short fluffy one first. Make sure to drink water and to sleep well :))))

Also, these kept on getting longer (and longer and longer)... I dunno how that happened 🤷‍♀️

Napoleon Bonaparte

While you enjoyed accompanying the former emperor and Isaac to teach the children in town

Or going for tranquil evening strolls

Or watching him spar with Jean (HOT)

Both of your favourite past time by far was you waking him, and the cuddling that would always follow (among other... activities *wink wink*)

He’d nuzzle up against your neck, enklindling giggles from you as he protested about you wanting to help Sebastian with breakfast

You couldn’t bring yourself to care too much (sorry Sebas)

Wolfgang Amadeus Mozart

Music is the centre of his life; but so are you

He had to learn to give you the attention you deserved, and he’d often wonder if you were were truly content with sitting beside him as he played

You’d love to watch the genius in action, humming and singing along when you happen to recognize his songs

If you don’t already know, he’d teach you to play the piano and the violin

And despite being the ever strict instructor, you’d often catch his tranquil simper as his hands would ghost over your own

Leonardo Da Vinci

After all your chores would be completed, you’d hunt down the Renaissance man

Which would be quite time consuming, as he could be anywhere. Literally.

Once you succeeded in your mission, you’d sit beside wherever he decided to sleep this time (sometimes with one of your heads resting on the other’s lap) and you’d talk. As simple as that

You were, of course, aware of the scientist’s unquenchable thirst for knowledge, and you were more than glad to tell him about everything you knew about your time in detail

In return, he’d find a way to charge your phone, as you always expressed the desire to show him actual pictures of your old life

Curious boi is impressed

Arthur Conan Doyle

If his girlfriend were to be a social butterfly, you’d probably enjoy tagging along with the third wheel Theo to their regular bars, sharing embarrassing anecdotes of each other

Both of you could often be seen taking Vic for a walk, and Arthur would, no fail, try to get your attention away from the dog acting as his love rival

You could only roll your eyes at his histeronic behavior as he pulled you close, hiding his flaming cheeks at your teasing

If you tend to be more quiet loving, you’d indulge in some alone time in his room [goddammit, not that type of indulging]. As you listened to his calming puffs or air, he’d sometimes ask you to read some of his drafts

Whatever the case was, it would always end with Arthur sweetly pecking your purses lips, a smile gracing his handsome face

Vincent Van Gogh

Wanderlust is a mutual feeling you two shared, and Theodorus had to come to terms with the fact that you two could disappear for hours to end

As soon as you two would find a stunning location, he’d unpack his painting supplies while asking you questions about your old life

You two preferred to stay until the sun would retire for the moon to reign, so that the artist’s canvas had the chance to dry

Sebas would always prepare some snacks for you two upon Comte’s suggestion (because Sugar Daddy takes care of his kids)

As the picnic blanket lay beneath you two, Vincent would pull you close, basking in the serene serenity of your embrace

Thedorus Van Gogh

Baking!

Whether you know or don’t know (in which case Sebastian would gladly help you out) how to cook, the others would find the resident couple in the kitchen as Theo judged your pastries

Of course, he might be mean about it, but that was just apart of him that you’ve learnt to live with; after all, you weren’t perfect either

You discovered that he preferred his sweets... well, sweet, so you have grown used to making two batches of every dough/custard/anything, really: one for you and the other residents, and one solely for him

He’d sometimes saunter behind you, swiftly swiping some saccharine cream onto his finger from a bowl you were currently using. Before you could utter your protests, he’d paint your lips with it, a smirk parading across his cheeks

Successfully shutting you up with a tooth rottingly sweet kiss, he’d say, “Your creations are quite delicious, wouldn’t you agree, knabbletje?” [Would you look at that, Food Play!Theo has returned]

Your knee joints were seemingly replaced by the jelly chilling in the basement

Dazai Osamu

When he’d require inspiration for his novels (or simply felt trapped in his own misery), he’d find himself looking across the vast expanse of le Comte’s land

And somehow, he’d find you more than often amongst the flowers, waving at him to join you

He’d assist you as you cared for the flowers, watching your lithe and nimble hands as they practically danced across the fields

A few butterflies would appear, and he somehow had the ability to make them land on his finger as he explained each of their meanings, explanations spanning from eastern culture to Native American even

You’re always so fixed on the little butterflies resting on him, the writer can’t help himself but kiss your forehead, the subsequent crimson staining your face eliciting such a calm expression from him that you can’t help but smile at his joy

Isaac Newton

As you were both more than busy during the day, you’d vacate your time as the first stars speckled the horizon, Isaac busying himself with mapping the stars

You’d sometimes ask him to teach you, but you tended to zone out as the lectures became more and more scientific and “can you please repeat that in English”-like

Despite the ire lining his voice when he noticed your blank stare, his pouting made it rather apparent that he didn’t mind

He’d scoff whenever you’d start with astrology. “But you’re determined, just like a Capricorn.” “That doesn’t mean anything.”

As more and more stars would appear, you’d catch yourselves gaze more into each other’s eyes than the sky, alabaster rays illumining your loving eyes

His research would be entirely forgotten as your head rested upon his shoulder, liking the prospect of your figurative weight resting on him

Jean d’Arc

You want to watch him spar

Soft boi doesn’t want you to watch him spar

You want to try using his foil

Soft boi doesn’t want you to try using his foil

More than adamant about not revealing his dark side (you couldn’t care less, him sparing was hot but you didn’t know how to bring that up)

As such, you’d ask him to go shopping with you, arguing that his presence would act as the perfect protection

Foolproof way to persuade the stoic soldier: Volume I

You’d enjoy spending time with him in quiet cafes, enjoying him struggle to contain his expressions of content upon trying all the delicacies

Stone on the outside, panic in the inside when you decided to lower yourself onto his lap, telling him that no one could see you two (soldier life did not prepare him for his flirty amour)

William Shakespeare

Stabbing is his favourite past time

To Theo’s disgust, whenever you and and his broer would visit THE creep, he’d often return alone, relying your wish of staying at his mansion for a little while longer

He’d be besotted by all the stories you relayed to him, all the anecdotes of modern life

As you saw his latest works, you were glad he wasn’t using the residents for his drama anymore

He also liked dancing with you, in the moment the clock would hit midnight. As you would both sway beneath the moon’s embrace, he had never felt more at peace

Comte de Saint-Germain

Sugar Daddy likes buying you stuff, that’s it. That’s the headcanon

Jk, but he genuinely enjoys the prospect of shopping clothes with you

He’d even draft some on his own (I mean, have you seen his fashion style? Yes babayyy). If you were a fan of design, you’d both make outfits for one another

Would buy you the best silk if you wanted it... would buy you holo fabric from the future if you wanted it

After your shopping would be done, you’d walk along the Seine, reminiscing about the times none of you have gotten to life in

He enjoyed having you in his office, allowing you to vent about noble ladies that thought they could do as they please and parade around your man

As your ire left your ears fuming, he’d muse how scrumptiously adorable your jealousy it

He’d probably lift you ontop his desk to show you that you had absolutely nothing to fear— if you get what I mean ;)

...What are you talking about? I wasn’t talking about that 🙄. He’d simply show you all the designs you’ve made together smh

Sebastian

Vampires were goddamn lucky creatures. They, unlike him, didn’t have to deal with those horrid muscle cramps

However, his pain was more than familiar to you. Thus, one evening, you proposed as you prepared for bed if he’d like a massage from you

It would... sometimes lead to other acts, but that’s a story for another time 🙃

...I- that’s- I was talking about him massaging her... I should probably omit these insinuations

Now, you’d also spent time by adjusting your (and Dazai’s) favourite Japanese dishes with ingredients the 19th century France granted

This would oftentimes lead to questionable results, but you two would laugh it off with mirth enjoying your company

I am physically unable to write a Theo without foodplay, or Dazai without angsty undertones

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yanderepuck · 5 years ago

Text

The mansion in the 21st century

For the sake of our sanity we are going assume they are all still alive in the 21st century since we don't know when everyone was turned (just that Will was first)

We're also gonna pretend that Sebas is still around(I don't think he'd accept being a vampire???? But for the sake of this he's gonna be here)

Arthur is his full whore self and is with guys and gals. He put the bi in bitch

Leonardo is also bi(historically there's no record of him ever being with a woman)

Imagine the shit posts on social media

Arthur has an Instagram and he posts about everyone's life, even using their names, but no one takes it series

A few times a week Arthur does something called "where is Leonardo sleeping today?"

Vincent uses tiktok for art

Theo has been able to get in contact with more artists all over and be able to sell their art. It's made it a lot easier for him and even though it's a lot more work he enjoys it

Dazai is also a shit poster, only he asks weird things that keep you up at night

But Dazai also publishes short stories. Probs has a blog.

I could also see Dazai basically running an animal shelter in the back yard. He gives off Disney princess vibes. Only it's like ducks, a bunch of birds. A horse or two and some sheep.

Will has probably moved back into the mansion since everything he has done has been forgotten by society.

He finds it odd how kids in schools study is plays and have to analyze it. He's just like "everyone's gay and every other line is a dick joke???" But he still doesn't speak normal.

LEONARDO GOT BACK INTO PAINTING.

Leonardo and Vinc would both have a tik tok and Instagram to show off their work and their hella popular

Isaac wanted to keep a low profile, but since the internet isn't face to face with people, he's able to publish his findings without having to actually deal with society. He's just social awkward okay

Sebastian also has a blog. He calls everyone his roommates and he's like "you'll never guess what my roommate did today"

Arthur collects mugs.

During that Italian hand meme, everyone paid more attention to Leonardo to see how often he does it

He does it too often and he doesn’t realize it

At some point Dazai HAS yelled “DO IT FOR THE VINE”

He was probably yelling at Theo

Want to know whats really dangerous?

Shakespeare learning modern slang

No one in the mansion knows what he’s talking about in the first place. Then suddenly he goes “For never was a story of more woe. O bard Alexa, play us Despacito”(I will not take credit for that. I remember reading that phrase LONG ago)

Isaac says “Me” “Same” and “Mood” a lot

He sees garbage on the ground and goes “It’s me”

Dazai is into anime don’t @ me

Also. Napoleon is also bi as all hell

Drunk or not him and Sebas have made lip contact at least once

Imagine what Mozart could do with music now.

He still loves his piano. Nothing is better than physically playing an instrument

He probs went viral for a hot minute when Arthur posted a video of him playing piano

Comte is even more of a tired mom.

HE’D SO BE A PINTEREST PERSON

You know how people make board for their friends?

He does that with everyone in the mansion

I honestly know nothing about Jean and Napoleon. I’m sorry for their lack of content. Plz add things for them.

Imagine everyone playing Mario Kart

Not every week because they all have lives outside the mansion. But at least once a month they have a game night

None of them are really TV people. They’ll watch movies but that’s about it

They’d all watch documentaries on themselves, and point out everything that is wrong, and even be like “where the fuck did they get that from?”

Because I have watched documentaries on him. Often a Da Vinci documentary will mention was arrest with sleeping with another guy. The rest of the guys are waiting for him to call that bullshit and he’s just sitting there eating popcorn.

Meanwhile Will is in the back like “Eyy! Me too!”

“Did that really happen?”

“What? Me getting arrested? Yeah”

“No, well yes, but did you sleep with another guy?”

“Yeah”

“Was he worth it?”

“I don’t know which one their talking about”

Chaotic bisexuals everywhere

Arthur however has watched the BBC Sherlock series.

Arthur and Dazai would probs watch the most tv out of all of them.

I say this cause Dazai would be into anime and Arthur got hooked on NCIS

Arthur write quite a bit of short stories that he’s gotten published

Will would love that goddamn Leonardo DiCaprio version of Romeo and Juliet. I hate that movie with a passion

Also, I can’t imagine how many jokes they’ve managed to come up with about Leonardo DiCaprio to Leonardo.

If Arthur and Mozart can stay up for days with coffee, imagine what an energy drink would do to them

All of them in modern fashion???? HOT DAMN

Will likes the Titanic

I see Theo being the one that’s into MARVEL and DC movies

Imagine showing Vinc Bob Ross

Leonardo and Isaac are Tony Stark(Ironman) and Bruce Banner(Hulk)

Everyone in the mansion is into conspiracy theories .

Comte himself is a conspiracy theory

One night Napoleon is like “Guys. Look. Aliens” and they all watch conspiracy theory videos.

It’s the one thing they can all agree on that they have in common

Vinc and Leonardo also enjoy pinterest because of all the art/crafting/diy things they find.

Arthur 100% listens to ebooks

THE MANSION IS A POKEMON GO GYM. But they aren’t all on the same team so battling can get serious some days

They all still have pets

Honestly. At any point in time, not just modern. They made fun of each others accents.

Lets be real. Will would end up liking anime too

SNapchat filters on the guys?? The dog filter on Theo??? Flower crown on Vinc??? Face swapping everyone with everyone???

One of them is bound to have a candle obsession and I want to say its Comte. Only he buys them and doesn’t burn them. Sebas ends up slowly taking candles from the stash and burning them in a few rooms.

The music room smells like chocolate but Mozart can’t find the candle.

Leonardo's room is even more cluttered. He has too many hobbies.

Vinc making his own paint??? I’d love.

Theo and Arthur cried a little when their favorite bar shut down.

Masterlist

#this is a long one but i know its gonna have a second part #there's no way i'm done with the guys in modern day #too many possibilities #also sorry about no Napoleon and Jean #I don't know their personalities at all #I only interacted with NApoleon in isaacs route #and i've never interacted with Jean #ikemen vampire #ikevamp #cybrid #ikemen series #plz add your own hcs #i like to read them

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