#sorry I just was kinda curious what the fuss was about and like?

[tarraxahum]

Okay now that I'm caught up (anime only) I can say with full understanding that I don't get the Toshiro(Shuro) hate. Like come on, the guy is flawed in his own (totally rooted in his culture and upbringing) way, just like literally every other character here. What.

[i2sunric]

𝐃𝐈𝐄 𝐅𝐎𝐑 𝐌𝐄 (l.hs)

PAIRING: toxic!heeseung x reader

SUMMARY: after confronting your boyfriend with his neverending addictions, worried that he might just ruin himself, you two end up in yet another fight. it wasn’t new that the best way of resolving it was fucking you in his car, was it?

WARNINGS: toxic relationship. based on the newest single by chase atlantic ‘die for me’, fighting, alcohol consumption, mentions of weed and drugs in general (+ ecstasy tabs), unprotected sex (don’t be silly, wrap your willy!!), rough sex, degrading kink, car sex, doggystyle, he gives reader a finger in asshole (literally), spit kink (?), why is this slightly angst (if u squint ig), riding, creampie, pet names (angel, baby, good girl, slut), manhandling, meandom!heeseung, kinda cnc (but i’m not sure), humping, overstimulation, lmk if more. NOT PROOFREAD.

PUBLISHED: 25th August 2024

WC: 4.7k

TAGLIST: (permanent) @stolasisyourparent @jaeyunsbimbo @jwnghyuns @bangtancultsposts @shawnyle @jooniesbears-blog @skzenhalove @ro-diaries @onlyhyunjin @xcosmi @strawberrhypen @heeheeswifey @destinyhoon @jakeflvrz @emisloves @astratlantis @tunafishyfishylike (oneshot) @dollyrst @mitmit01 @heeseungsbm @rayofsunshineeee @seungjiseyo @simja3 @sweetlyxaqq09 @cloud-lyy BOLDS COULD NOT BE TAGGED.

NOW PLAYING: ‘DIE FOR ME’ by Chase Atlantic — ‘on your knees’ by ex habit — ‘Sinners’ by Ari Abdul ft. Thomas Larosa

a/n: please REBLOG & COMMENT and not only like since i’ve been shadowbanned nowadays. i highly recommend listening to the songs i previously listed while reading for a better experience 🫶 take care!!

With your heart in your throat and your whole body freezing due to autumn’s weather, you hurried towards Jay’s house, which was fortunately a few blocks away from yours.

You had gotten yet another call from the poor guy, asking you to come and fetch your boyfriend, who was apparently making a fuss.

It wasn’t rare, but it had gotten more frequent for him to go batshit at parties.

And it was your job to clean after his mess.

The music that came inside was so loud it only added to the headache you already had.

Taking a deep breath, you pushed the door open and found Jay waiting for you, biting his nails.

“Thank God you’re here.” He breathed out, quickly turning around “He’s gone mad, I swear.”

You had to just round the corner to the living room and there stood Heeseung, taking a guy by the collar, his fit raised in the air.

“Heeseung!” You shouted, but he was so deep in his own mind he couldn’t hear you.

“What the fuck did call me?” Heeseung growled, his mouth straight into a grimace.

The boy’s eyes were wide, as if he understood he had just poked the bear and couldn’t step back anymore “I’m sorry man, ok? I was just joking.”

Heeseung scoffed, “Oh, and I am joking too.” He raised his fist higher and was about to strike, but you stepped in and held his arm.

“Heeseung.” You hissed, lower this time, a whisper only meant for him.

He turned to you with an annoyed expression until his eyes took in the sight of you, recognising you.

Safe. He knew you, so he slowly lowered his arm.

“Let go.” You said, beckoning to the guy’s collar. Heeseung gave him another dangerous gaze before pushing him away.

He fell, but at least he didn’t have a broken nose.

Heeseung turned around and placed his hand on your waist “Did I hurt you?” He asked and by his bloodshot eyes and how you could barely see any white in them, you knew he was far gone.

You shook your head, “I just arrived.” Heeseung took in the sight of your baggy and cozy clothes.

Obviously, you had hurried there as soon as Jay made the call, not even bothering changing.

All the people in the living room were watching the two of you with both curious and wary expressions, “Let’s get in the car.” You said, Heeseung wasn’t their circus.

Mouthing a quick ‘sorry’ to the guy who almost had an encounter with his fist, you dragged your boyfriend out of the house.

Jay gave you a sympathetic nod before closing the house behind you, blocking out the deafening music.

Heeseung grabbed your hand and walked to the parking lot, opening the car door and shoving you in the passenger seat before rounding it and entering the vehicle as well.

The walk and fresh air should’ve sobered him up, at least just a little. You hoped.

As soon as he sat beside you, a scoff left your lips “Seriously, Heeseung?” You asked, “It’s the third time this week and it’s barely Thursday!”

He let out a low sigh, and reached out to caress your cheek. He had a sheepish look, and he was staring at you guiltily, though, you were sure he doubtfully had any regret.

“Just once more,” He said quietly. “And I'll control myself after this.” Both of you knew that it was just another empty promise.

“Like last time, and the time before that.” You rolled your eyes and crossed your arms “I don’t buy your bullshit, not anymore.”

His jaw tensed as he tried to remain patient. He knew you had every right to be mad at him, but could he blame him for wanting an escape?

“I’ll behave for a week, okay?” He asked, his leg bouncing, unable to stay still “Just give me this one last time.”

You frowned, noticing his strange behaviour “What did you take?”

Heeseung was caught off guard by the sudden question, and averted his gaze away from you, “It's just alcohol,” He replied, a slight edge in his tone “Quit fussing. We’re just going for a drive and letting off some steam.”

“You’re not driving,” You replied, your eyes widen “You’re as high as a kite, you think I don’t know that?”

Annoyance was now brewing in his gaze, and he clenched his jaw.

He wanted to snap at you for not trusting him, but a rational part of him knew deep down that he didn’t deserve your trust.

He hated that you knew him so well.

“I’m fine,” He insisted, stubbornly, taking out the car keys from the front pocket of his jeans. “I've driven drunk a hundred times. this is nothing.”

“That’s not something to be proud of,” You replied, stealing the keys from his hand. His reflexes were sloppy, so he couldn’t stop you in time. “One day you’ll either kill or get yourself killed.”

“Give it back.” He demanded, his voice low “I’ll take us to your house, we can’t stay here all night.”

“But we will if you don’t start talking.” You snapped, hiding the keys behind your back

Heeseung was taken aback by the harshness of your tone, and he was starting to get impatient as well.

“Why do you always have to be so stubborn?” He asked, his voice dropping an octave. “Just shut up and let me drive, I know what I’m doing.”

“You can’t speak without tripping over your tongue,” You questioned again, “What did you take?”

“I told you, it’s just alcohol,” He lied, his words coming out in a frustrated hiss. “Why won’t you just trust me?”

“Because you don’t give me reasons to trust you!” You spat back, your brows furrowed “What did you take?”

Heeseung was getting tired of the repetition, and the tone of your voice was starting to wear him down. He leaned in to bring his lips next to your ear.

“I just took a few ecstasy tabs, okay? And alcohol. Nothing major,” He whispered, his breath hot against your skin. “Just leave it be, alright?”

You willed your body not to show any signs of how his vicinity was affecting you “Nothing major? Heeseung, you were doing drugs.”

He leaned back and rolled his eyes, trying to brush it off “It’s just to have some fun.” He retorted “And I can make my own choices, you don’t need to be so uptight.”

“Being uptight is different from being worried!” You snapped “Getting high is not having fun. I closed an eye with the occasional weed you smoke, but this? Taking ecstasy tabs?”

Heeseung rolled his eyes as you nagged him about his life choices again. He knew that you weren’t wrong, but he hated admitting it.

He hated feeling like you were lecturing him, like he was a kid being scolded by his parents.

“Why are you so fixated on what I do?” He asked, his tone growing harsher. “I can handle myself, dammit.”

“Oh, I can see that very well.” You eyed him up and down, “You were about to attack a guy, and what for? Because he foul-mouthed you?”

He raised a brow. “He deserved it, if you didn’t come I would’ve done more than break his nose.”

The seriousness in his voice made your stomach churn. You hated to admit it, but you were scared of him sometimes.

You knew he would never lay a hand on you, deep inside he cared for you, but he didn’t care about himself at all and it served him as hatred towards others.

“Please, Heeseung.” You sighed, “Drugs aren’t something to play with. They’re dangerous.”

“A few ecstasy tabs or edibles won’t kill me, ya know?” He scoffed, running a hand in his hair.

He looked so beautiful, despite his bloodshot eyes and angry frown, he was still attractive.

“Jay called me again because you were ruining his party.” You pleaded with him to listen “Can’t you see that not even your friends want to be with you anymore?”

That worked.

Heeseung suddenly grasped your waist and pulled you onto his laps, holding you firmly in place “Enough,” He growled “I’m done listening to your lectures.”

You frowned, trying to move from his iron grip “I am not done.”

Heeseung let out a frustrated huff, and pulled you even closer, “Well, too bad,” He retorted. “You talk too much, and you nag too much, it's so annoying.”

He brought his lips close to your ear, and his voice dropped even lower. “Maybe I should just shut you up, hm?”

You didn’t like the way your body grew so weak for him, how it seemed to melt under his touch.

You needed to be strong, to let him hear your worries, so you tried to fight his grasp again.

But his grip on you was unwavering, and he didn’t even budge as you tried to push him away.

“Don’t you get it, baby?” He whispered huskily, his voice holding a hint of condescension. “I don't listen to you,

especially not when you nag.”

“I’m not doing this with you,” You said, feeling his hands on your body “I’m worried about you, Hee, we all are.”

“Enough,” He grumbled. “I don’t need your lectures.” He nuzzled his face in the crook of your neck “Why can’t you just let me be?”

His hands moved to hold your hips, forcing them to rock against his “Heeseung, stop.”

Heeseung wasn’t listening to a word you were saying, his mind clouded by the alcohol and drugs in his system.

He continued to press his face against your neck, peppering it with rough kisses, his hands began to wander to the hem of your shirt, slowly lifting it up.

“Let me have this,” He murmured, his voice deep and desperate. “I need you right now.”

You closed your eyes, a soft sigh escaping your lips “No.” You tried to say firmly “You need to go home and sleep the drug off.”

Heeseung let out a frustrated whine as you tried to resist him, and he dug his fingers into your skin.

He pulled away from your neck to look at you, his gaze filled with a mixture of irritation and desire. “I need you. I need you right now.”

He leaned closer, his lips brushing against yours. “Baby, please,” He pleaded, his voice growing soft and gentle. “Just for a little bit, please.”

Seeing him in such a desperate state made your heart ache.

At least, he had exited the party and followed you in the car.

At least, he was there with you and not in the streets, causing messes for both himself and others.

“Okay,” You whispered, gulping down the good sense.

He pressed his forehead against yours. “I just need a little release,” He mumbled. “Just a little bit... you’ll give it to me, won’t you, baby?”

As he made you grind on him you quickly matched his rhythm, slowly moving on him.

He was growing more desperate for you, his body craving yours “That’s it,” He muttered, his voice thick with lust “Hump me just like that, baby.”

You wrapped your arms around his neck, bringing his face close to your clothed chest “I’m just worried about you.” You said quietly.

Heeseung felt a flicker of guilt as you held onto him, and he reluctantly pushed it away. He didn’t want to be reminded of his mistakes.

“You worry too much,” he mumbled gruffly. “I'm fine, just stop nagging at me.”

You let out a small moan when his hips bucked up to meet yours and he said “Let me have you, baby.”

He could sense you surrender and smirked, leaning his head to suckle on your neck.

He wasn’t gentle, he left bites, brushing his tongue against it to soothe the pain.

But he wanted you to feel it, wanted you to know that pain was an occurrence if you stayed with him.

And you were too lovestruck to care, you realised.

Heeseung raised your shirt and tossed it on the passenger seat, burying his face in the middle of your breasts still contained by your bra.

He looked up at you, his gaze was clearer but darker as well, like the drug's effect was replaced by lust.

His cheeks were tinted with pink, his lips parted and you couldn’t help but grind on his clothed bulge, as if to reward him for being there.

Heeseunge closed his eyes and let out a deep moan as he felt you grinding on him, the friction sending waves of pleasure through his body.

Hee leaned his head back against the seat, his mouth slightly open as he let out a shaky exhale. “Fuck, angel,” He groaned, gripping your hips tightly, “Keep going, just like that, baby.”

Such a nickname was reserved only to you, because you were his angel, too good to be with a devil like him.

Still, you didn’t run. You never tried to.

What a fool.

His brows furrowed, only then remembering the reason behind your argument. He wanted to make you forget it, he had to.

“Angel,” He whispered, stopping you from moving, “I need to be inside of you, please.”

You bit your bottom lip and murmured, “But we don’t have a condom…”

Heeseung cursed under his breath as you reminded him about the lack of protection, his frustration growing once again.

He didn’t want to be denied, and the last thing he wanted right now was to stop.

He leaned forward and captured your lips in a rough, possessive kiss, his hands roaming all over your bare back. “I don’t care,” He mumbled against your lips. “I need you now, I don’t care if we have a condom or not.”

You were a weak girl, you knew that despite how much you tried to resist; you would always give in. And Heeseung was very much aware.

You stared down at him, your voice quiet as you said “I guess I could buy a pill tomorrow?”

He pulled away from the kiss with a sly grin “Good girl,” He murmured, his eyes dark and lustful “That’s what I wanted to hear.”

You hadn’t even realised he put a hand behind to pull the seat back until you were thrown in the backseats of the car, manoeuvred not so gently.

Heeseung was behind you in the matter of a second, your head was resting on the seat while your backside was in the air.

He leaned down, his body pressing against yours, and he started to plant a trail of rough kisses down your neck.

His hands roamed over your body, grabbing your hips and pulling you closer to him. “You look so sexy like this, baby,” He murmured, huskily.

You felt his bulge pressing in between your ass cheeks while his skilled fingers unclasped your bra, rough callous grasping them, kneading at the soft flesh.

Heeseung pulled your pants down, without even bothering to remove them properly, and dove in to lick a stripe out of your wet folds.

You moaned, your eyes squeezing “Hee.”

Heeseung murmured “Fuck baby, you always taste so good.”

He hummed at himself when you felt you press your backside against him, eager to be filled.

“Such a good girl,” He whispered “Always so willing for me. mh?”

He quickly worked his jeans down, enough just to take his hard cock out.

You yelped when he aligned it to your entrance and pushed in without any warning, the stretch too painful without any prepping.

Fighting was your favourite type of foreplay, anyways.

Heeseung leaned down, his mouth hovering over your ear. “Too much, baby?” he whispered, his voice soft and mocking.

Your eyes were squeezed tight as you tried to adjust “T-too much.” You replied, feeling jolts of pain shooting through your lower region.

He smirked at your response, feeling a sense of pride at your admission. Heloved knowing that he was the one causing you to feel this way.

“Oh angel,” He chuckled mockingly, “But you can take it.” And with those words he started moving. Rather slower than his usual pace, and that you were thankful.

You yelped in pain and so, Heeseung moved his fingers to gently circle on your clit “You need to relax, baby.”

Because for how much of an asshole Heeseung could be, he would never intentionally hurt you.

At least, not like that, he wanted to bring you the good kind of pain.

“Relax,” He groaned, feeling your walls clenching so hard around him “You’re almost pushing me out.”

You took steady breaths, trying to will your body to adjust to the thick intrusion.

Slowly, your frown contorted into an expression of pleasure.

He picked up the pace, his movements becoming more forceful.

“You feel so good baby,” He gripped your waist, your flesh burning in his grasp “So sweet and tight, just for me.”

You nodded, giving yourself completely to him “Just for you.” You mumbled, your voice muffled by being pressed against the seat.

“Ah, ah.” Heeseung pulled your hair into a makeshift ponytail and raised you, adding pain to the pleasure “I didn’t quite catch that.”

You whimpered, trying to reach his hand and pull your hair away but Heeseung caught both of your arms, pinning them behind your back “Answer me.”

“J-just for you.” And Heeseung rewarded you by picking up the pace, the sound of skin slapping and squelch filling the car, its windows fogging up.

“Good girl,” He smiled, releasing the grip in your hair and moving it to choke you instead. He licked your earlobe, tasting the saltiness of your sweaty skin “Tell me, who do you belong to?”

You shut your lips, you weren’t going to give in to his contorted and possessive kink.

You were your own persona, no one else’s.

And Heeseung didn’t like that, no, he pushed you back on the seat and held your head down, smashing your cheeks.

He slapped your ass, so hard it must’ve left a red mark “Fucking answer me, who do you belong to?” His voice was low, dangerous.

A broken whimper left your lips, the sweet sensation of his cock rutting inside you combined with his rough handling making your head spin.

“That’s not the right answer.” He taunted, his thrusts becoming deeper, hitting all the right spots.

Heeseung knew you were close, but he wasn’t going to make you cum if you wouldn’t answer such a simple question.

“Having a cock inside of you makes you so dumb?” He mocked, slapping your ass once more “You’re such a slut, can’t think when you have me buried deep inside ya?”

His words only made you clench around him, you were mad at him for treating you like that, but you were mad at yourself for liking it.

“Say. It.” His voice was dripping with impatience but you shook your head.

Heeseung scoffed, leaning down next to your ear “I can do this all night, baby,” He whispered huskily “I can keep going until you give in. Say it.”

He raised a brow, waiting for your answer.

You opened your eyes and looked at him “I’m not an object, Heeseung.” You groaned.

“No?” He tsked, moving painfully slowly inside you “Yet you act like my personal sext toy, giving yourself to me whenever I ask.”

He let go of you and crossed his arms, stilling. You frowned, a complaining whimper leaving your lips.

“Fuck yourself on my cock.” He said, his voice icy “Since you’re not mine I don’t have to provide you anything.”

“Fine.” You raised your upper body, gripping the car door as you started to move back and forth, fucking his cock in and out of you.

You groaned when it slipped out, and when Heeseung made no move to push it back, you did it yourself.

A smug grin formed on your lips when you noticed how his breath hitched when you touched it, but his expression didn’t give anything away.

You tried again, trying to move faster, but it didn’t work well. Not like when he was the one doing it.

And it seemed as if your lack of skills was starting to affect Heeseung as well, a groan leaving his lips “I know I said I had all night, but I’d like to get some action.”

You scoffed “I’m trying my best,” You replied, pushing your backside against him, trying to reach the sweet spot he seemed to always find.

Heeseung clicked his tongue and shook his head, yanking your pants off your ankles.

He took you by your hips and turned you around until he was sitting and you were straddling him.

His cock was still inside of you, but this time you were on his lap, “Let’s see if you can ride me, mh? Or you can’t do anything alone?”

You frowned at his words and gripped the seat behind your back. Heeseung rolled his eyes and removed your hands, placing them on his shoulders.

You moved up and down, your head thrown back as you could feel him whole in you.

“That’s better,” He replied, leaning back against the seat and watching you riding him, still not moving a muscle.

You whined when he made no move to touch you, usually he’d play with your nipples or send jolts of pleasure by rubbing your clit. Yet, he did none of that.

“You know the magic word.” Heeseung smirked, “Say it, and I’ll make both of us feel good.”

He tilted his head “Don’t say it, and I’ll make you ride my dick until I cum, and judging by your slow pace, it might take forever.”

A few seconds passed where you pondered on your decision.

He was still high so there might be a chance that he wouldn’t remember you had give yourself completely to him. Against your morals.

You leaned close to his ear and whispered “M’yours, Hee.”

He growled, a deep rumble in his throat as he grasped your hips and moved you.

He didn’t guide your movements, he straight up used you like you were his fleshlight. You didn’t even know how he could move your body so easily.

He kept hitting the spot that had your eyes roll, your grasp on his shoulders making your nails dig in his flesh, only fuelling his desires.

Your expression full of lust made him smirk, he leaned to capture your lips in an hungry kiss, his tongue swiping over yours, tasting you.

As you kept clenching around him, he groaned, and ordered “Open up.”

You complied and opened your mouth, Heeseung gathered some saliva and then spit it on your tongue just to swipe it away with his own right after.

You moaned, wrapping your arms around his neck to steady yourself.

Heeseung chuckled, he knew you were close to your orgasm from your body language.

Breath laboured, loud moans escaping your lips and your walls sucking him in.

“Raise yourself.” He said, holding your body up to help you.

He placed one finger inside your asshole, gaining a gasp from you.

He held it still as he started fucking into you at a fast pace, needing to reach both of your orgasms.

You started mumbling nonsense, something that resembled ‘Yes’ and ‘Harder, please’ but not even you were sure.

It was like he had fucked your into oblivion, the only thing you could think about was how good he felt inside of you.

“Close, angel?” He asked, your walls clenching around him to the point of pain.

You hummed brokenly, managing to give him a small nod.

“You want to cum?” He asked, his voice slightly softer “Want to milk all around my cock?”

You nodded “Yes, Hee, want to cum.” You mumbled, your head dizzy.

“Cum for me, baby.” He whispered in your ear, pushing his finger deeper into your asshole.

You felt the knot in your stomach tighten so hard that when it snapped, you bit down on Heeseung’s clothed shoulder, making him groan and tighten his grip around you.

Your legs were shaking and you were panting from the intensity of your euphoria, your ears ringing.

Heeseung held you close to his chest, slowing his pace to bring you back to reality.

Slowly, your teeth let go of Heeseung’s shoulder, the metallic taste of blood in your mouth.

You gulped and looked at him through half lidded eyes, but his own were fixed down.

He was staring at where your bodies connected, the circle of your white liquid around his shaft, you could feel him twitch inside you.

“You can take some more, can’t you, baby?” He questioned, but you shook your head.

Heeseung frowned, “No? But I still haven’t finished.” Your body was tired and so was your mind, both from the fight and the intense sex.

“Let me finish,” He kissed you, deeply “Let me fill you up to the brim, please?”

You moaned at the thought, despite always taking precautions, you have always wanted him to make you his in the most primal way.

Seeing that you weren’t making a negative comment, Heeseung started moving you, slowly.

You moaned, feeling overstimulated as you gripped the arms that held you “Hee— I ca-I can’t.”

“Yes, you can.” He groaned, holding you still, flush to his chest as he started rutting his cock deep, hitting your cervix.

His moans were low, more like rumbles deep in his throat as he held your head on his shoulder, his eyes squeezing.

“Fuck,” He panted, moving so fast you could barely finish a moan that another one was coming, your voice hoarse “Fuck, Fuck, Fuck, I’m gonna cum.”

He fisted your hair, his other hand on your waist with a bruising grip “Gonna fill you so good, fuck my cum right back into you.”

You didn’t know if he was rumbling to you or more to himself, not like you minded.

Letting out a deep growl, he hit the deepest spot in you and emptied his load.

With some more deep thrusts, you could feel him twitch, and you felt so full.

His pace slowed until he finally stopped and you fell on him, fucked up.

Your whole body was bruised from his grip, your mind dizzy and your breath ragged.

“This was so good,” Heeseung whispered, holding your face in his hands and kissing you deeply.

He tried to move again but you grasped his arm, shaking your head “No, stop.” And he had the decency to comply, this time.

He pulled out and placed you beside him, putting his now softened cock back into his jeans.

Heeseung retrieved your shirt from the passenger seat, and tossed it to you, as well as your sweatpants.

Only when you were fully dressed did he speak again “I’m sorry, for what I did.”

Your eyes widened, not expecting his apology at all “Hee…” You murmured, your gaze soft “I’m just so worried about you, I get mad because I care about you.”

You placed one hand on his cheek, caressing his skin with your thumb. “If I didn't, it wouldn’t matter that you snorted things or… injected shit into your veins.”

Heeseung frowned, “I’m not a junkie, all I did was take some ecstasy tabs.”

You sighed, knowing there was no way to make him reason when he was still drunk and high “Okay, Heeseung. Whatever you say.”

“I’m driving.” Your tone was firm “Y/N.” He tried to say but you stopped him.

“No, I am driving,” You retrieved the keys that had fallen and climbed on the driver’s seat.

Heeseung let out a sigh but didn’t talk back, instead he climbed into the passenger seat and shut his mouth, probably all that he had drank and snorted was taking a toll on him.

You hadn’t realised when you took him into your apartment and showered with him, which led into another round of love— sex making.

You hadn’t realised when he apologised for his behaviour and kissed each mark he had left on your skin.

You hadn’t realised when he let you sleep on his chest, gently rubbing his hands through your hair.

But you did when you woke up to an empty bed, with a plan b pill and a glass of water wishing you a good morning. The only trace of your boyfriend being the wrinkled sheets beside you.

Only then, did you realise that Lee Heeseung was going to be the death of you.

[meo-eiru]

How could Elias have met his darling? I kinda feel like they were long childhood friends, like in elementary perhaps even? A cute scenario that I keep thinking about...

Elias somehow got hurt on the playground, perhaps some boy in school was jealous of him and his looks? Perhaps they made fun of him for looking pretty, mocking him to put makeup on and play with the girls? (I feel like he'd be adored more by girls than boys, simply because he looks quite feminine in not a bad way)

So he is sobbing in the bathroom, standing in front of the mirror and somehow tries to fix his face. (Perhaps poor boy got some mud onto his face?)

And his darling didn't really interact with him before, so she just walks past the bathroom but caught onto the loud and dramatic sniffles and sobs. Perhaps she got curious and went to check up on him (despite it being the boys bathroom, another headcanon I have for his darling that she might be more of a troublemaker back then or a tomboy, so she didn't care if she simply went into the boys bathroom, she would've probably enjoyed the thrill of getting caught by a teacher and getting scolded)

So she literally just walks straight in without a second thought, Elias literally jumping in surprise from overall someone walking in on him crying. (We know our boy is a pretty cryer and he knows it too) But also jumping because it's a girl in the boys bathroom, him literally squealing for a while and his darling just being like: • — •

So after his dramatic ass calmed down, his darling fusses over him, simply because that's likely her nature-?? Like she immediately tends to him, reassures him, etc ! Simply giving him princess treatment and giving him her tissues, wiping off any dust and mud off of him with the most gentle care, despite her rough appearance. (I like the idea of polar opposites, a darling that looks more like a boy and a boy that looks more like a pretty girl)

So when Elias tells her about what happened on the playground, I feel like there are two options what is going to happen. (Perhaps even both could work out ngl..)

Like his darling beating the crap out of those bullies, a girl chasing the boys and the boys being scared of her. (I feel like she might be a very talented weirdo.. like she'd be a gifted kid that probably got burnt out very soon, I also see that Elias had the chances of being gifted too, but being trapped inside a box by his parents, so he never got to develop any of that)

Then perhaps his darling told him that he didn't need any friends, because he has her now and she'll be his friend! So then they had a lot of play dates and played together as kids, even if he was boring, she always tried to make him feel included💖💖

When other kids interrupted their playtime, I just feel like his darling would growl at any kid that she got bad vibes off of. Like she'd have such protective instincts for Elias, she just KNEW who was bad for him.

Bodyguard darling 💌

Awww this is so adorable!!! Elias is such a princess and the darling is his bodyguard😭💕

So first off, I'm so sorry but this was all I could imagine when you mentioned Elias crying in front of a mirror

Other than that I love itttt! Imagine them growing up and Elias still expecting that same dynamic from darling. Darling spending her entire school life protecting Elias like that and eventually getting a bit tired of it but not being able to stop because Elias won't let her and anytime she tries hanging out with someone else he starts crying and causing a scene.

[kneelingshadowsalome]

I know you kinda answered this already, but I just need it in more detail... sorry :(

How would Konig be with kids? With the way they go at it like animals, the reader is bound to get pregnant, right?👀 Would he be happy? What gender would he want? Would he spoil them? How would he treat the reader while pregnant? Would he want more? Do you think he could ever give up his job to spend more time with his family?

Sorry if all the questions are annoying, I'm just genuinely curious 😭

Ehm. I must say I could never find questions about fics and characterizations I wrote annoying 🥹🩷💞 Quite the contrary sweetie!

So, thoughts on how (yandere) König would be with kids, pregnant reader etc under the cut 🥰

How would Konig be with kids? With the way they go at it like animals, the reader is bound to get pregnant, right?👀

Ummmm yes, first of all I'm a horrible person for not writing my smut with sex ed purposes in mind. I usually skip the "Where's the condom"/"When's the last time you had an STD test?" convos unless they serve a narrative purpose. I have no excuse, I'm just lazy like that 🥲

So we have to start with the assumption that reader uses some type of contraception or then König has like an assortment of condoms in his pocket at all times. Kids would be a choice for them.

If and when they get a kid or two, König would be a hot & cold dad. He doesn't have a role model for good parenting (I suspect with the way I wrote him, his mother was abused in some form or another too and didn't/couldn't protect herself or her child from abuse). It makes König distant at times: confused and shut down one moment and extremely affectionate the next. The kids would have a high risk of forming an anxious and/or disorganized attachment style (very similar to Königs).

Would he be happy? What gender would he want? Would he spoil them?

I think kids would calm him down even more than the long-term relationship/eventual marriage. König isn't the most mature person, but he would "grow up" very soon after becoming a father. Kids would not offer a magical gateway out of his traumas and restlessness by any means, but he would surely find a measure of peace with them, forget his own demons for a moment while watching them grow. I believe he would leave the caring business for the reader (mainly because he isn't exactly a nurturer) but he would play with his kids a lot and spoil them with new toys and other material things.

König has no preference when it comes to gender, but he would have very little or no concept of gender as a spectrum: boys would simply be treated as boys and girls as girls. Which also means that girls get the princess treatment while boys are taught how to use weapons 🙄 Boys would also get to see the stern version of dad more often.

He would worry a lot about them getting bullied at school, especially boy/s (all in all he would project onto a boy sooo much). He would be worried every time they return from kindergarten and school and look for signs of trouble and distress. He would want to teach his boy/s to fight and very likely forces them to start boxing or wrestling at a very young age.

How would he treat the reader while pregnant? Would he want more? Do you think he could ever give up his job to spend more time with his family?

Once he gets over the abyss-like realization that he's going to be a dad, König would become the proudest, most excited and fussing partner there is. He would be the kind of man who forbids a pregnant woman from climbing too many steps – no matter what modern science and studies say about these things. He would follow most of the advice with a military-like orderliness and then suddenly brush some things off by claiming he knows what's best for his lady and the baby (e.g. too much physical activity is dangerous so reader must never exert herself).

He would prefer one, maybe two kids because more would cause him too much stress. He would escape the buzzing family life to work because home has become (funnily enough) "too chaotic". Then again if he had only one kid it would make him want to spend more time at home. He would spoil the shit out of an only child.

König loves his job and would never quit it but he would certainly accept, even ask for more and longer leaves to be with his family. He would also try and get reader to quit her job so she could be a stay at home mom while he provides for the family. 👀

[picopepin]

Heyoooo

I was doing my au scribbles and a random thought just popped up in my head 'bout ur 198x bois

As far as I get it, Neo and Ex had some squabbles before eventually getting in some sorta relationship. Sooo, is there anything they dislike/disliked in each other then and now? What are these things?

gehhh.. Imma sorry for the yap, I just got curious 'bout them

They still sometimes fuss haha they're a little less glamorized as a couple to me than like... ubetella for instance. It's two very intense personalities and levels of wit - Ex is a LOT of ego and acts with hubris and because of this he can say/do things that come across kind of mean or instigating. He likes to be perceived as brilliant and thinks nothing wrong of himself sometimes (see: the core storyline within the au) until he gets called out on it at which point he tends to sulk and overanalyze until he figures out he's a meathead. Communication is where the two sometimes fail horribly and thats where tidbits about Neo's shortcomings can come into play-

Neo is actually not nearly as showoffy as Ex but he's not shy and he's definitely not lacking confidence he just doesn't like to talk about his feelings. He really really really doesn't like to discuss his feelings lol. The little mood heart on his bellybutton area is usually covered up but he's tepidly responsive to having it convey something vaguely resembling his current state? Like... he doesn't want everyone to see it but when it comes to Ex he feels better letting that color/light do the talking so that he doesn't have to use his words- if that makes sense!

Things that they "fight" about again come down to that communication struggle and one takes it too seriously and the other doesn't take it seriously enough until it's a humongous mess. A messed up afternoon plans can turn into a two day cold shoulder event or it can explode into something else LOL Locker room jabs and silliness can go over well and then sometimes be really hurtful if one of them is feeling insecure and neither of them are exceptionally good at comfort they just kinda find value in the little things or actually just being quiet around the other (that whole being next to someone who is upset but they dont want hugs or words just another living body nearby)

Hope that helps a bit! Sorry for taking so long to answer ive had a lot on my plate

Edit: to be more specific about "dislike" we can start with the fact that they were literally trying to kill each other at the point in the au where they gotta rescue Frisk! ("Ex is hard to trust but Alphys is like I forgive you, here is a gold star for being good.. (nervous but optimistic)" -Ghost) So not everyone is like "aw yeah I totally trust this guy now" and that includes Neo. Ex is loud and annoying, Neo very much vocalizes how he would hotbox the car and stab his leather seats and you have absolutely no idea how serious that threat is lol. It's a small one, but taking up space, noise, etc when they first start rooming together prolly had a little to do with it. After they started getting more comfortable it pretty much transitioned into those buried insecurities coming back to the surface now and then

[bulletproofscales]

get used to the fuse - chapter 12

hii its been so long, (￣▽￣*)ゞ sorry these past months have been crazy for me, but i havent forgotten about my baby! heres the continuation! the next chapter will be the final end of this fic!! so stay tuned (´ ε ` )♡

tags: namgi , gainer min yoongi , obese min yoongi , limited mobility , stuffing , teasing , humiliation , revelations , falling over , breaking furtniture (kinda) , tension , weight gain denial , kink talk

5.9k words

AO3 LINK

It was easy to force this day deep down his memory. Forgetting it, as if it never had happened. Presumably no one knew what Namjoon had done in those changing rooms and he won’t give it a lot of space in his mind to ponder about it. 

Maybe that's why it's easy to turn the rest of that evening with Hoseok into a blurr. Everything said becoming just a haze of side-eyed glances, swallowed burps and suffocating gym clothes. 

That’s probably why he is a bit startled when he gets Yoongi’s text. 

yoongi: are you busy tonight? 

yoongi: we have to talk

He can’t help lift his eyebrows as he reads the message. What would Yoongi possibly have anything to talk with him? 

you: sure! 

yoongi: great i’ll go to yours

yoongi: is 7 okay? 

you: i’ll see you then 

And when he sends it. It does seem okay, really. But as the hours creep on through the rest of the day it's impossible to stop his mind from wandering. Namjoon is sure he can count with one hand the times Yoongi has actively asked to see him, let alone ‘talk’? There’s nothing to talk about. They've been friends for decades now with a perfect record. 

Namjoon isn’t as nervous as he is just plain curious. He knows Yoongi through and through, after all. Though… When the doorbell rings, around 7, like they agreed, the man Namjoon sees at the door is nearly unrecognisable. 

Once lithe, almost frail looking Yoongi, had the width of almost Namjoon’s doorway. Round all the way, gut jutting forward pillowy but massive as it sagged over the waistband of his pants, nearly hiding his crotch entirely. Pink underbelly peeking from his shirt, table-cloth-sized shirt unable to cover all of it. Quite the contrary, it clung to the swollen protruding belly. The rolls that stacked on his sides from his juicy love handles all the way to the roll under his arm looked squeezed by the fabric. Thick along his waist and becoming bigger as they collected some of the fat from his newfound moobs; saggy and obscene-looking. Namjoon didn’t have to look to assume all that fat spilling to the sides, pushing Yoongi’s fattened tubby arms away from his torso, was probably showing as girthy back rolls behind him. 

Namjoon has to remind himself that Yoongi had a head, looking up to the steam dumpling shaped pudgy face. He’s having a hard time deciphering if this is just his normal tired looking face, or if all the fat hanging from his cheeks and under his jaw is making all that much more poutier and cute.

“You texted first!” He can’t help but beam. If his voice sounds just a little squeakier it has nothing to do with the nerves he was struck with. Abruptly moving to the side to make room for Yoongi to come in. Luckily he doesn't think much of Namjoon’s enthusiastic tone, smiling a bit as he waddled his way in. 

“Don’t make such a fuss about it or it won’t happen again.” His voice sounds so breathless, and as he walks past Namjoon the older’s girth truly becomes noticeable. In a way Namjoon is glad Yoongi has had the spare key all these years… He is not sure they would’ve fit in the elevator. Still through the shock of his own thoughts, he can tell Yoongi is doing that thing where he brushes Namjoon off instead of letting himself feel flustered over a comment. 

But he knows by now, even if he likes to pretend not to, Yoongi loves the reassurance. 

“Let me celebrate at least a little.” Even if he’s the one speaking, Yoongi’s deep breathing resonates through the living room as he lazily makes his way towards the couch. Ungracefully letting his weight fall onto it. Namjoon is sure he can see the pillows and springs underneath them dent into the shape of his wide ass; if the loud creak is anything to go by. “Anything to drink?” He would’ve offered anyway… Namjoon is pretty sure he would've. But Yoongi’s subtle wheezing is encouraging to say the least. 

“Any whiskey?” 

“So it's that type of night.” Namjoon can’t help but snort. And Yoongi chuckles right back, even if he is sitting, the laugh alone makes his fat ripple. That on its own enough to force Namjoon to turn on his heel towards the kitchen. “You know I do.” 

“You can have some whiskey for your celebration.” Namjoon hears him as he gets the two whiskey glasses and his bottle. “Don’t let it get to your head, though. I had to invite myself over before you invited me to Hoseok’s, to work out.” 

He giggles then, Yoongi’s underlying melodrama never ceases to amaze him. But returning to the living room with an adorable looking out on his lips. Namjoon knows it's serious. Though he can’t help his endeared smile from staying on his face, dimpling his cheeks. “Where did you get that idea?” 

“Who do you think?” Yoongi’s unamused tone is even funnier as Namjoon hands him a glass. “He won’t leave me alone!”  His eyes bulge out, and his pout becomes even bigger in a way that's sickeningly endearing; the flip on Namjoon’s stomach definitely agrees. 

“Hobi hyung was always really intense about his lifestyle…” An apologetic smile grows on his face, and it's worth it for the scoff that makes Yoongi’s entire body ripple from the expressive movement. 

“It was never this… targeted.” He eyes Namjoon with a knowing look. Frightening but somehow relieving in its own way. Like he is allowed to talk about it. 

“Ah…” He finds himself nodding, maybe a bit nervously. Even with the acknowledgement, he doesn’t know how much Namjoon is allowed to say, to comment on. Maybe he doesn’t trust himself to do so accordingly. Luckily Yoongi goes on for him. 

“He treats me like I’m about to appear in one of those obese-people American shows!” He huffs sitting up straighter, entire body following the movement with jiggles. “I got fat, but he treats me like a ticking time bomb!” 

“Just fat?” Namjoon can’t help himself. Can’t stop himself before it's out and Yoongi is looking at him with widened eyes and ajar lips. His own face burning, brain fumbling over what to say.

“Last time I got a check up. Yes.” Yoongi’s tone is cautious. He raises his eyebrow in a way that tries to be threatening, but inevitably eases Namjoon’s nerves. “Watch yourself.” The squeaky laugh that slips past Namjoon’s chest feels like the pressure lifting from his chest; how he’s been holding his breath. 

“How long ago was that check up?” Feeling a little bit more comfortable he leans teasingly to ask. But gets weakly shoved back to his spot. 

“Long enough I already have my next appointment booked! Yah!” Namjoon’s body goes limp in laughter, letting himself fall against the armrest of the couch. “This is exactly why I came over.” He huffs quietly, shaking his head and taking a sip, but the little smile on his lips gives him away. It always does. 

“I just can’t blame Hoseok for worrying.” 

“It’s not just worrying.” Yoongi deadpans, looking a tad more serious than before. “I was always unfit, now I’m just unfit and fat.” Just fat, Namjoon’s mind prompts unhelpfully. “If he wants to fuss over anyone, why doesn’t he fuss over Jimin? He looks heavier than me.”

“I think he said something about Jimin going to his yoga classes.” He pursed his lips trying to think back to his last conversation with the gym instructor.  Only getting a ‘tsk’ in response from the older, taking a rather long sip of whiskey. “But wait, what do I have to do with any of this?” 

“Seok-ah keeps telling me you’re going, therefore I should go.” Namjoon snorts. “Or that I should talk to you and you’ll be able to tell me everything about how fucking amazing those classes are.” He can’t hold his laugh then.

“I went to two of his classes, like 2 months apart from one another.” And he looks at Yoongi’s reaction for his next confession. “And for the last one I ditched it 10 minutes in to drink a protein shake by the changing rooms and almost passed out.” 

Yoongi seems as stunned at Namjoon’s words as Namjoon is of having said them out loud. Gummy smile growing in his face alleviating some of the pressure of the suffocating silence. “Does he know?” 

“He’d have to be deluded to have not noticed.” 

“He is deluded.” Yoongi snorts entertained. “Acting like he is better than all of us while he chubs up.” 

All of us? 

Namjoon can’t help shift a bit uncomfortable, shrugging with pursed lips. “He is the fittest one of the group. That much is true.” His eyes scatter away from Yoongi’s raised eyebrow. “Some of us are just fitter…” The snort the older lets out is enough to make his head snap back towards Yoongi. “What?” 

“You’re not telling me you're fit, are you?” His tone is insultingly amused. 

“What's that tone supposed to mean?” Namjoon doesn’t need an argument to say to get defensive with. He can get defensive all on his own, thank you very much. 

“Right, because all fit people have little sneak outs to chug protein shakes after 10 minutes of exercise.” With an insane level of audacity Yoongi snorts. Shaking his head, Namjoon’s eyes dug daggers into the older “You were never fit, Joon-ah.” 

Their eyes meet then, warm and teasing against the younger’s glaringly defensive gaze. Namjoon remembers then, with a bit of horror, that Yoongi knows him just as thoroughly as he knows him. He feels naked, seen in places he doesn’t want to be seen. 

It feels like they aren’t just talking about fitness. 

“Guess you have a point.” Is all he can say, in an attempt to push the conversation elsewhere, his eyes look into his whiskey glass and take a sip himself. Ever perceptive, Yoongi seems to take a hint. 

“Where’s Jungkook?” He peeks a bit into the kitchen, not leaving the comfort of the couch of course. He seems to be denting it permanently. “Working out?” And okay, the teasing smile that grows in his adorably round face is kind of funny. 

“Pft.” Namjoon can’t help but smile back, warmth contagious as it spreads along his chest. “Don’t joke like that or he might take you to the gym with him, he did it to me.” Even with his joking tone, his eyes widened in warning. 

“Oh! So that's three times you went to the gym!” Yoongi chirps patting his back, with a squeaky laugh making his body shake lively. Only for Namjoon to roll his eyes and swat his hand away. “But seriously where is he?” His voice is a little breathless from the laughter, some reminiscent jiggling on his belly from it too. 

“He’s out with Tae-ah. Didn’t bother telling me where. Brat.” 

“So that's why it's so peaceful.” Yoongi seems to sink even further into the couch. 

“Is it? Maybe for you.” He deadpans and only gets a new wave of giggles out of the older. 

“Is Namjoonie feeling attacked?” Even with the sickeningly sweet tone of his voice, coated with sarcasm, there’s still no malice to his voice. Leaning closer to the younger, so his belly sags to the side of his lap, pliant and enticing. “I’ll stop with the comments, I’m sorry.” 

Taking the apology seriously would mean something was actually wrong. That something actually rang true. So Namjoon smiles charmingly, turning his head to Yoongi, whose face is closer than he anticipated. Without looking he can feel some of his overhang brushing his thigh. “Don’t worry about it. You can pay for dinner to make it up to me.” 

Yoongi smiles like he has something to say about that. But luckily he keeps it to himself. Smiling back, softer than before. “Deal.” 

“Wanna see the beats I’ve been working on?” That manages to knock Yoongi’s smile off his face into a stunned expression. 

“You’re producing again?!” He feels quite satisfied when that same shock manifests in Yoongi’s voice, low hanging jaw making his double chin ever more prominent. 

“I’ve got more free time than ever. Come.” He gets up decisively from the couch, and the same can’t be said about Yoongi. Who is looking at Namjoon almost pouting. Taking a big chunk of the couch unapologetically.

“Can’t you just bring your laptop over?” A smile grows on Namjoon’s face. 

“I switched to a PC a few months ago.” He still has his old laptop, but Yoongi doesn’t need to know that. Maybe he wants to see Yoongi move a little; for a completely different reason than Hoseok does. 

“Ah…” He smiles then, as if trying to brush it off. “It really has been a while since I texted first.” Namjoon's smile only becomes more pleased. “Okay then. You win.” He chuckles though leaning forward with his hand on the armrest of the couch. Grunting a little as his wobbly knees lift his body off the couch. 

Except he doesn’t. His ass lifts a bit before falling back down. 

The couch makes a dangerous creaky noise. 

Namjoon has to hide his stunned expression as his belly makes a loud slapping sound when it falls against his lap. Fat rippling from his belly to his cheeks. He won’t look at Namjoon, but he is sure Yongi can feel his eyes on him, looking down at the belly that takes over his lap, sagging between his thighs, and keeping him pinned to the couch. 

Maybe that's what motivates Namjoon to put his hand forward in a silent offering. Trying to keep the cockiness off his smile. Especially when Yoongi looks up and accepts it, beginning to swing again as Namjoon makes an effort to pull when Yoongi is leaning forward. 

Nothing could have prepared him for how heavy he was. Nearly slipping himself onto the couch too against Yoongi. Namjoon grunts a bit in effort, if he weren’t as focused on not falling into Yoongi, he would’ve been polite enough to try and conceal it. The older’s other hand gripping the couch’s armrest as another form of support as he finally stands up. Belly bumping into Namjoon’s. 

“That grunt was unnecessary.” He looks up at him, now the entire heft of his gut separating them. But the breathless tone of his voice and the hint of pink dusting his cheeks strips his words from any bite. 

“The grunt was unintentional.” Namjoon’s smile is kind but truthful. “You’re not that easy to manhandle anymore, huh?” He regrets his choice of words as soon as they come out. Manhandle? Really?! Luck must be on his side, since again Yoongi opts to not mention the information he knows about Namjoon’s…preferences. 

They were dumb teens back then, but if he could turn back time, he would’ve stopped them from sharing their kinks back when they were in highschool. Barely discovering their sexuality and the intricacies in their preferences. 

Manhandling, one of their shared interests. 

“Finally. Yeah.” Yoongi chuckles as he walks past Namjoon, side completely brushing the younger’s torso as he easily makes his way to Namjoon’s room. Even if he isn’t one to text first, Yoongi still has been here enough to know the place like the back of his hand. Hell, he helped Namjoon unpacked when he first moved!

And yes. From the back he can definitely see the back rolls he had anticipated. Though no level of preparation would have spared him from the impact of said rolls clinging to his shirt in a way that forces the hem up his love handles with each step. Milky soft skin, covered in pink stretch marks. Namjoon’s hands itch to trace them, if he hadn’t been taken aback by the wobbling of his ass and thighs. Striking him with the fact that even if his weight settled mostly on his belly, Yoongi had softened truly all over. Even the flabby back of his arms ripple with each heavy step. He is sure the neighbours can hear. 

Yoongi doesn’t ask to sit in Namjoon’s chair, rather groaning in relief at the sight of it, waiting for him. As all the younger can do is wince at the dangerous creak it lets out, much like the couch; except he doesn’t trust the 6 year old screws of the chair as much as he did the springs of the couch. 

“Show me.” Even if bossy, Yoongi’s face rounds out with a giddy gummy smile, chubby hand already taking the mouse and making his way through Namjoon’s computer like it's his own. It wouldn’t be like there's anything for him to hide… He deleted all his downloaded porn when Yoongi stumbled on it the first time when they were still barely beginning to meet each other. Real ice breaker. 

“Ah, in the FL Studio folder. Yah!” He chuckles a bit nervously, blushing for something completely different than the effects of Yoongi’s body on his perverted mind. “They’re really not that great, scrappy at bes-”

“Shut up.” He opens the first one. And Namjoon complies just in time for the first beat to play. Though it's unceremoniously interrupted by the growling of Yoongi’s stomach, a roar strong enough his fat wobbles along with it. As if to show truly how empty he is, needy for more. Yoongi pauses it then. “No, okay, I can’t appreciate them like this.”

“Dinner?” Namjoon guesses, his eyes still taking in the sight of Yoongi squeezed into his chair. Plump hips spilling from underneath the armrests, that dig into his side as well. Back looking too broad for the backrest, wide but gentle curve of his shoulders making him look softened but somehow sturdier than he was before. 

He has to rethink all of those manhandling fantasies that hunted him in his early 20s. And replace Yoongi as the main character from all of them. If anything, it looks like Yoongi would be the one heavy enough to pin Namjoon down. Nope, not going down that route, 

“Please, yes.” Namjoon is sure the older didn’t mean to be whiny, but demanding. But the permanent pout on his lips makes him giggle. “Just tell me what you’re craving so hyungie can buy your forgiveness.” “Oh I had already forgotten about that! Nice.” He reaches out into Jungkook’s room to look for his desk chair. Disappointed to find a normal dining table chair. Right, he changed it a few days ago… Something about needing a replacement. Better ‘lumbar support’, right. He walks back into the room with the stiff chair. He’s been avoiding these, Jungkook too, rather eating on the couch or in their rooms when the other is out. But it’ll do. 

“So?” 

“Honestly… I’m just craving dessert for dinner.” His smile is shy but Yoongi’s enthusiastic nodding. As the younger sits beside him, this chair is so uncomfortable. No wonder they stopped using them. 

“I was so worried about you being turned into a health freak by Seok, I ate dinner before coming. So you didn't over me like… a kale pancake or something.” He snorts. Looking for bakeries on his phone, before glancing up and down at Namjoon. “Now I know, I had nothing to worry about.” He says teasingly. 

“You never did.” Namjoon can’t help but say assertively, feeling particularly trapped in his chair. “I don’t eat meat, but I still have good taste.” But he makes sure to make his huffing more playful this time. Shifting uncomfortable in the sharp edges of the chair that dig into the back of his thighs. “What are you ordering anyway?” Yoongi eyes him, unconvinced of not only Namjoon’s defence, but his change of subject as well. 

“Trust me. I know what you like.” 

You know too much. He holds back from saying. Or worse. I know what you like too.

“There. Should arrive soon.” He puts his phone on the desk. Namjoon must’ve missed it when he took it from his back pocket, the struggle it must’ve been. Unless he was hiding it someplace else, in one of his folds. 

And he is already thinking about unrealistic expectations he got from porn. This is why Namjoon doesn’t trust himself around the subject. Too disgusted by his own carnal desires to even consider inflicting them on his friends. But his mind works against him. He forces himself to relax then, leaning back on the chair, trying to focus on the uncomfortable feeling of his chair rather than the twisting of the pit of his stomach.

“You know, we could’ve just gone to the kitchen and see what we find.” Namjoon’s dimpled smile tries to be easy-going, before it becomes teasing. “Instead of stopping everything we are doing until the delivery gets here.” 

“Oh I’m not standing up again.” His smile is wide but he shakes his head like he means it. “Unless you want to help me again; cause I’m pretty nestled in.” As if it wasn’t obvious enough, Yoongi’s hand grips onto the fat of his stomach moving it with a force that sends jiggles all across. The fat that's overspilling onto the armrest slapping against it at the same rhythm of his hands movements. 

Namjoon tries to disguise his choking as a cackle. “Suddenly, I don’t mind waiting.” He deadpans and feels accomplished when Yoongi giggles with him. Or at least, Yoongi looked convinced until his smile turned smug and satisfied.

“That’s what I thought.” 

Yoongi knows what he likes. His mind reminds him. Even this. 

“So who do you usually call to help you get up when you’re at home?” That was his attempt at a subject change. Though it's only once it leaves his lips, and Yoongi’s eyebrows go up to his hairline, he realises that he’s failed disastrously. 

“I don’t need help getting up.” Yoongi chuckles a bit, though Namjoon’s expression must be completely unconvinced. So he adds. “Not every time...” 

“What did you call yourself before?” His fingers scratch along his chin dramatically and teasing. “Just fat?” Okay, yes he’s definitely failed at trying to move away from the elephant in the room. 

The elephant that's sitting on his desk chair. 

“Enough!” He groans but Namjoon releases pressure in the form of a squeaky laugh, rubbing Yoongi’s shoulder apologetically. “It’s not like a doctor's opinion would change anything.” Its Namjoon’s turn to raise his eyebrows. 

“What do you mean?” 

“You know…” He shrugs, eyes avoiding Namjoon’s. “Even if he told me I was obese… I doubt I’d do anything about it.” 

Oh. 

“Oh…” It's all he can reply, dumbly. For better or worse, Yoongi takes this as an invitation to explain himself. 

“Yeah I can’t go back now.” He chuckles endeared towards Namjoon. “I don’t remember ever having enjoyed myself this much.” The chair creaks even more when Yoongi leans back to caress the centre of his stomach gently. 

Namjoon is at a loss of words. Not trusting himself he replies. “That great, huh?” Eyes diverting from Yoongi’s now gigantic hand up to the screen in front of them. His face is warming up, the room feels smaller and the fucking chair getting tighter by the second. Or that might just be the knot in his stomach. 

“You would know.” Yoongi eyes him with a knowing smirk, one that makes a lump form at the base of Namjoon’s throat. 

Is he talking about Namjoons fetish? Or something else?

He doesn’t get the time to ponder on it, since the doorbell rings. It doesn’t look like Yoongi will get up to get it. 

“Be right back.” He mumbles a bit lost in the older’s words. Getting up maybe a bit too abruptly from his chair, judging the way it creaks back and he nearly stumbles into his desk. On autopilot as he rushes to the door; only to be faced with a poor delivery guy trying to carry multiple bags into Namjoon’s apartment complex. It's instinctive when he reaches out to help. 

“Thanks big guy.” He smiles as Namjoon takes the bags into his hands. Too concentrated in not dropping anything to even react to the comment. The delivery guy gets on his bike rushing off. And only when he is on the elevator does he think about it again. 

Big guy?

He guesses the delivery guy was a bit scrawny… 

Yoongi’s groan can be heard as soon as he opens the door to his apartment. “Finally!” 

“Don’t be greedy!” Namjoon yells back, a little breathless; the bags were heavier than he expected. Huffing a bit as he walks into the room, where Yoongi took the courtesy of shifting the chair to face Namjoon, gummy smile bright on his face. It makes up for the exertion of getting the heavy order. 

“How much did you even buy?” He chuckles a bit, setting them in front of his computer. Yoongi looked through it immediately. 

“Dessert! You can save some for Jungkook if you want.” His chubby hands pull out boxed cupcakes, cake slices, nutella stuffed cookies. 

“Dessert is one way to call it.” He snorts a bit. “You bought their entire stock.” It's lighthearted teasing, and Yoongi for sure is aware of his own appetite. But he blushes pink. 

“Just didn’t want to go hungry.” Yoongi shrugs, rather focusing on the bags. There's something liberating about being able to openly tease, and seeing Yoongi’s reaction to him; because he knows. Namjoon had dreams like this. 

“Can you go hungry? You don’t let yourself even think about feeling it before you are ordering something” His eyebrow raises, and his chair gets promptly shoved to the side. Though Yoongi barely manages to move him an inch. His fat arms too weak to even push Namjoon. 

“I meant for the both of us, ass.” He rolls his eyes, but hands Namjoon the box of cupcakes. Chocolate ones, his favourite. 

“Yeah, but I have a normal appetite.” Namjoon says endearly but begins to unwrap the first one. Fluffy and perfectly moist with rich frosting on top. And it doesn’t disappoint, biting into it easily and the deep chocolate flavour takes over his senses. “I don’t need all this to stop my hunger.” He eyes Yoongi who’s gone for the red velvet cookies. 

“You don’t?” That question shouldn't sound as genuine as it does. With Yoongi’s raised eyebrow and muffled voice; red crumbs already dusting the corners of his lips. 

“No?” Namjoon’s own voice is muffled by a full bite of cupcake. His mind a mess trying to untangle the assumptions in Yoongi’s question. Namjoon’s always had more appetite than Yoongi, but it would be ridiculous to think that stayed the same throughout the older’s weight gain.

“Oh– Well I just thought…” Even with the awkwardness of his voice, Yoongi’s eyes trail up and down Namjoon’s body quickly. “Nevermind.” The chuckle sounds endeared, but nevertheless a tad embarrassed. It only leaves Namjoon in an impossibly more nervous state of mind. 

Maybe that's why his hand forces the next cupcake entirely in one go. Yoongi seems to resort to the same. Finding comfort in the rich chocolate taste, the cupcakes aren’t that big. And they’re too fluffy to be filling, in spite of the thick layer of frosting on top. That’s probably the reason why Namjoon feels so at ease working his way through it. But even with the choir of eating noises in the empty apartment, Namjoon still feels a need to ask. 

“What is it?” The six cupcakes are gone, he is licking his fingers clean of the frosting. Yoongi eyes the younger. But his hands are much more urgent than his, reaching for anything that he can shovel down his mouth in as little bites as possible. Right now it seems to be cookies and cream donut. Or well… Donuts the whole 6 pack of them. Grabbing two at once and squishing them together just to stretch his lips around them. Desperate to satiate his hunger in ways that are downright animalistic. Namjoon feels like he forgot his own question. 

“I don’t know… That you would use this entire Enhanced-boom for…” He shrugs vaguely. Now entirely avoiding Namjoon’s confused stare. “With your kink and all…” Namjoon’s belly twists almost painfully; stunned by the way Yoongi just purses his lips shrugging. “You always talked about gaining weight…” 

He is painfully reminded of just how close he and Yoongi are. Nights in their early twenties when they could talk about what they craved. What they thought was impossible. 

“It was just a fantasy, hyung.” It's Namjoon’s turn to look away, reaching for a cheesecake slice. Hoping the thickness of it can smooth out the growing lump in his throat. His own chewing sounds hopefully loud enough to mute out Yoongi’s words and the way they bounce around in his head. The older leans closer, with a dangerous creak from his chair. 

“Yeah, I know.” His chewing is loud too, helping to muffle out everything going on in his head. “But isn’t it the perfect time to put it to the test?” From the corner of his eye, Namjoon can see the way the fatty side of Yoongi’s body spills from the armrest, the way his weight is enough to tilt the chair slightly to the side; with threatening creaks. 

It's becoming a bit overwhelming. The warmthness in his stomach, only starting to become comfortably full. The uncomfortable wood of the chair, the even more uncomfortable questions that hang in the air above them. Yoongi’s looming presence irradiating heat onto Namjoon, his open mouth chewing, the chair’s distinct complaints. 

“Can we just not talk about it?” He doesn’t mean for it to come out as harsh as it did, but the room is starting to feel cramped. Feels too big to hide what Yoongi already knows about him; cornered. Or maybe it's just the chair. 

“You asked.” Annoyance is clear in Yoongi’s voice. And he is right. Namjoon knows he is right. In a less panicked state of mind, he would’ve been able to act accordingly. 

“Well. I’m not a feedee, if that's what you thought.” Namjoon’s suspicions are right when he turns his head to look at Yoongi when he responds and sees the furrowed brow. And his own tone is no better, spiteful and protective. 

“Don’t get all defensive.” Yoongi isn’t looking away either. Leaning close enough Namjoon can see the specks of donut frosting collecting at the corners of his lips. The chair began to bend in Namjoon’s direction; accompanied by the melodic screeches of the metal and springs. It wouldn't be their first fight, they’ve been friends for decades after all. 

That's how he recognizes the dangerous smile that grows on Yoongi’s face. 

“You’re gaining like one.” He manages to say before the chair finishes tilting over to the side. Falling thunderously onto the floor, with Yoongi still on it. The noise of ft slapping his wooden floor almost loud enough as Yoongi’s pained groan. 

The tension dissipates as soon as it formed, as Namjoon pushes himself out of the wooden chair to lean and help Yoongi out and up. “Are you okay?” Yoongi’s pushing himself out by the armrest, trying to unsqueeze his fatty sides from the suffocating chair. 

“Y–Yeah… Yeah I’m okay.” He breathes out, face blushed, as Namjoon reaches behind him to pull the chair out of Yoongi too. Even if he can’t see his facial expression, Namjoon can pretty much hear the grimace when he asks. “Did it break?” 

“Don’t worry. It looks fine.” Chuckling seems like the only way to alleviate the tension, popping Yoongi out with a huff. It took a bit more effort than he thought it would, he is a little breathless. Tilting the chair back upright and giving it a tentative spin. “Yeah, looks alright-” His word is cut a little short when he sees Yoongi still on the ground. Their eyes meeting. 

“Help me up?” It's a bit of a pitiful sight. But Namjoon is glad to focus on something else. He wouldn’t say he is glad Yoongi tipped over, but the relief he feels from having escaped that conversation is very real in his chest. Nodding quickly as he squats down for Yoongi. Feeling his sweatpants squeeze him around the waistband as he takes the older’s hands. 

“Lets–” Namjoon has to concentrate not to tip over as well. He doesn’t want to think about what that says of his body. The waistband of his sweats cutting the air out of him. “Let’s sit you upright first.” He comments and Yoongi looks equally exhausted. Gripping Namjoon’s forearms as the younger tries to lift the weight of his huge torso up. Both of them grunting in effort just for Yoongi to sit upright. Belly making his thighs spread as the overhang sits comfily on the floor. 

“Now-Now the hard part.” Even through his laughter he is breathless. Just from that movement alone. Though Namjoon isn’t much better; he is actually doing some effort at least. Yoongi is just breathless from being tossed around; if you could even call it that. 

Miraculously almost, the front door opens. “Perfect timing.” He comments, eyeing the front door. 

“Yeah, you could barely sit me upright.” Yoongi snorts as Namjoon stands up straight again. Looking down at him with squinted eyes. 

“You’re lucky I didn’t call the fire department right away.” His foot pokes at the sagging overhang between Yoongi’s thighs. Pillowy and rippling through his entire stomach. “Jungkook-ah! Come here!” He yells, ignoring Yoongi’s weak swats at his foot. 

The loud thumps are clumsy throughout the apartment, a pink blush, dopey eyed Jungkook appearing on the doorway. Great, Taehyung got him drunk. 

“I’m here, I’m here…” Even in his sleepy waddles the apartment thumps, and Yoongi’s body jiggles with each one. “I told you to switch to a stronger chair, hyung.” He comments without a comment as he leans towards Yoongi. 

“He didn’t break it, he just tilted it over.” He rolls his eyes. “Can you help him?” The youngest is already squatting behind Yoongi, his rounded out bloat pressing to the backrolls of Yoongi’s back. Big hunky, yet pillowy arms appearing from under Yoongi’s fat winged ones. 

“Our Jungkookie is very strong.” Yoongi comments idly, earning a happy giggle from the man behind him. 

“I’ll try.''Jungkook's hand tentatively settled on the oldest’s chest, before groping it playfully. 

“Yah!” The giggles get louder as Jungkook groans, beginning to lift Yoongi’s weight. Hands genuinely sinking into the fat, by the sheer strength making him grope Yoongi’s sides. 

Namjoon himself a little too stunned, watching Jungkook’s thighs tremble. Mumbling a quiet ‘cooperate, hyung’ into Yoongi’s ear, before his chubby feet plant on the ground. Helping, if the sigh of relief Jungkook lets out is anything to go by. Taking slow backwards steps until he is setting Yoongi onto the bed ungracefully. 

“I could’ve done that myself.” He cups his belly to stop it from obviously wobbling at the impact. But Jungkook isn’t phased. 

“Maybe, but you got the full Jeon Jungkook service!” He beams, patting his hyung’s back maybe a bit too aggressively. “I’ll go to bed. But call me if there are any more incidents!” 

“There won’t be!” They both yell at the same time, causing one final giggle to bubble out of Jungkook’s chest as he exits to his room across the hallway. The sound of the door closing settling their fate in returning to the conversation they were having before. 

Where were they? 

Ah, of course. 

Talking about how much weight Namjoon apparently gained.

[drdemonprince]

hi sorry if this is kinda ramble-y. im an 25+ introverted acearo who has never kissed or dated or "experimented" in high school/college cuz i was too focused on my grades and i think i'd would like to try sex once just see what all the fuss is about but i am also afab non-binary and i'm not "visibly trans" so i just get misgendered a lot as a "cis woman." would you have any advice on trying to not feel gender dysphoria when having sex? like, i feel like if i got flirted with by a cishet man or a cis lesbian woman, i feel like i would feel awkward and dysphoric like they are only attracted to me bc i look like a "woman" and also kinda bad like i am wasting their time. should i try to just put something in a dating/tinder/idk (dating app here) profile like "t4t" or my they/them pronouns or "ace4bi/pan" or "ace4other sex-favorable/curious aces" or a little trans flag emoji or something and hope people take the hint?

while i think i would prefer a 1-on-1 meeting for my first time, i also was worried about going to places like a total stranger's apartment/house/hotel alone and i had briefly thought about trying a public sauna since it did seem safer for the reasons that you gave to previous anon that there would be others around and security, but my city's gay baths is pretty. dinky? if google reviews of 2/5 stars are to be believed, it's kinda gone downhill since 2011 on facilities maintenance/showers/hot tub not working, etc., and is very pricey compared to other bigger cities' bathhouses. just generally disappointing i guess? and as an afab looking person, i think would only be allowed to go in on sundays which i think is their all genders day according to the website? but still, from my outward appearance, i was worried that i would get misgendered by any who approach me as a "girl" or get thought of as that stereotypical cishet girl invading gay bars/queer spaces, etc.

also, i dont like being touched on basically my entire torso/back or neck area, only limbs i think.

do you have any advice for a non-binary curious ultra-virgin/late bloomer with too many conditions for an ideal partner? should i just. try to think real hard about not thinking about getting misgendered and ignore any bad vibes/cbt/gaslight myself out of it??

or should i give up since i doubt that other extroverts who are experienced with no touch aversion issues and just looking to party/have a quick hook-up and have a good time would want to deal with introverted me and my picky-ness and gender/touch issues ruining their weekend/wasting their time?

(also i did kinda look into that surrogacy sex therapists/councilors that are apparently a thing now?? but they look like they're mostly in the cooler PNW/west coast areas. im stuck in plain boring uhh let's say think of ohio-pennsylvania-virginia tri-state area suburbs with limited car transportation. but i can get around the city by bus. its not even the cool east coast, its like mid-atlantic/midwest ugh. even some of those cuddle parties/councilors i had thought of for trying to lessen my touch-aversion are mostly west coast and texas for some reason?? my region is just too boring....)

(again sorry if this is a long ask! ^ ^ )

You should hire a sex worker!! When you're looking for something specific and you don't want to play the field it's a great great time to support your local sex workers and ask for exactly what you want. They'll treat you right. Try Tryst !

[clothyume]

The Whereabouts of the Missing Book Episode 4

Tori: …(Reading a manga in the corner of the room)

Eh, no way it ends here! I’m too curious about what happens next!

Does the Book Room have the next volume? Stopping here is nothing but torture!

Oops, I shouldn’t be too loud. If Yuzuru were here he’d find my hiding place!! I’ll get caught…

Tori: (Fufu, it’s perfect, hiding from Yuzuru here to read manga♪)

(Yuzuru’s nagging in our room is so annoying. He doesn’t think it's good for me to read manga at this age…) 

On the other hand, you can come here with the excuse that you're going to read a book, and read manga instead)

This is the best place to read manga, without a doubt~♪

Mika: Huh? Who’s that over there? 

Tori: Uhya!? I-I’ve been found!? 

Hajime: Tori-kun? What are you… Oh, were you reading manga? 

Tori: Kagehira-senpai and Hajime, huh. I thought you were Yuzuru or something so I got scared 

I heard the Book Room stocked a new manga, so I came to read it~ 

Tsukasa: Why do you have to read it in a place like this? That’s poor conduct, Tori-kun

Tori: Yuck, Tsukasa is with you too? 

Tsukasa: Why’d you say ‘yuck’ as soon as you saw me? That’s even worse conduct… 

No, pardon me. It’s my fault for even thinking an upstart would know etiquette 

After all, even though this place has beautiful chairs and desks, you don’t use them to read. Of course you don’t know etiquette

Tori: Huh? You think you can just say what you want if I just shut up and listen? 

Where and how I read manga is up to me, isn’t it? I’m not bothering anyone 

Ah~ yuck. This is why I don’t like kids who are only proud of their family’s social standing. Always taking advantage of others and trying to boast about it 

If you don’t, there’s nothing else to boast about, so there’s nothing I can do about it, right? 

Tsukasa: Gaah! How many times are you going to insult the Suou family? I won’t forgive you this time! 

Tori: Say’s you. I was really getting into this manga, and now you've ruined it! 

Mika: Awawa… Y-you two shouldn’t fight. Calm down, kay~?

Tori: I’m calm.  Tsukasa’s the one causing a fuss for no reason 

Tsukasa: Don’t turn me into the villain! It’s only because Tori-kun was rude to me in the first place—

Hajime: (I have to stop these two from arguing. This place is just like a library, after all)

(Besides, it’s like Suou-kun said, I should be more assertive…)

Y-You two! Be quiet in the Book Room, please! 

Tori: Woah, it’s rare to see Hajime raise his voice…

Tsukasa: Ack… But, Hajime-kun. Tori-kun’s actions are unforgivable! He’s a nuisance to others, standing in front of the shelves and reading manga 

Hajime: You’re right, Suou-kun. Tori-kun please be mindful of the way you’re obstructing other’s use of the bookshelf

Tori: Tch~... But if Hajime say’s so I won’t do it again, sorry

Tsukasa: Hmph. I’m glad you understand! Honestly, Tori-kun is always— 

Hajime: You too, Suou-kun. Although I’m giving Tori-kun a warning, raising your voice in the Book Room is also bad manner 

Be considerate of others around you, and don’t pick fights, okay? 

Tsukasa: Uh… Yes, I’m sorry 

Tori: Pfft, Tsukasa got told off by Hajime, serves you right~♪ 

Tsukasa: So did you!? 

Hajime: Suou-kun, Tori-kun…  

Tori: I-I said sorry. Don’t look so miserable, Hajime… 

Tsukasa: E-exactly. We won’t fight anymore…

Mika: Woah, that’s amazin’, Hajime-kun. Ya were able t’ stop ‘em fighting 

Hajime: N-not really… I’m sorry if I surprised you by raising my voice out of nowhere 

Tsukasa: Not at all, more importantly, let’s start searching for that book! That’s why we originally came to the Book Room, so let’s ignore Tori-kun 

Tori: Hmph… When you say it like that it makes me feel like an outcast, and I hate it!

Tori: I know you’re looking for a book, but what kinda book? I have some free time, so maybe I could help? 

Mika: Fer reals? Yer a life saver. I was actually frettin’ real bad

Tori: Hmm. So Kagehira-senpai lost the library book. We really will be in trouble if we can’t find it

Tsukasa: Why are you going to be in trouble? The library’s matters don’t really concern you? 

Tori: They do concern me! Do you know who the current Yumenosaki Student Council President is? 

Tsukasa: I know that much. Unfortunately it’s you, isn't it? 

Tori: That's right! The current student council president of Yumenosaki Academy is me, Tori Himemiya. That’s why it’s no exaggeration when I say everything in the academy is mine♪ 

Tsukasa: That is an exaggeration…

Tori: No, it’s not. Everything in the school is a precious property entrusted to me by Eichi-sama and Isara-senpai

That’s why it would be a major crime to lose something so important

How will Kagehira-senpai atone for his crime, I wonder~?  

Mika: E-eek~ I’m real sorry! I really will find it so please forgive me~!

Tori: Ahaha, I’m kidding. But it’s true that it’s my problem too. I really meant it when I said it was property inherited from Eichi-sama and the others

So, as Yumenosaki Academy's student council president, I’ll search for that book with you. Aren’t you grateful♪ 

Previous | Next

[maideninorange]

(Fic Request) FumiIyo go out for ice cream.

I put way too much thought into the existence of ice cream within Mugenri for a simple fluff with light angst fic lol. Why am I even surprised, knowing me?

(TW: Just References to Iyo-san's Tragic Past for this one. Because this is me writing this lol. Otherwise, it's a fairly straightforward fluff fic.)

The Ice Cream Merchant

The ice cream merchant only comes around once every five year.

A shadowy legend to children everywhere, the merchant goes from village to village, region to region, distributing a strange cold, sweet cuisine those who had visited them had only called "ice cream". With colder sweets being quite the rarity this far away from Devanagara for the peasantry, the merchant often draws in crowds by the tenfolds. For some, it will be the only time they get to taste anything like it.

...Or at least, that's how Fumikado had described it to them. It was also why Iyozane was not back home lounging around in the river, and instead standing behind a long crowd of children and curious adults.

So far, Iyozane couldn't see what all the fuss was about. This guy looked like just another merchant with their bright and colorful stand, if one that specialized in what may be a pretty rare product. But even with that in mind, they weren't holding their breath.

Merchants are complete and utter parasites, funneling away money that could've gone to hardworking individuals for themselves. And so far, this one seemed to be no different than the rest of the lot. If it weren't for Fumikado's eager pleading, they doubt they'd be here to begin with.

As if sensing Iyozane's silent seething, Fumikado gently nudged them, snapping them out of their straying thoughts. (The fact that their definition of "gently" sent them a few sun forward probably helped with that too.)

"Look, I know you don't like merchants, but this guy isn't like those other parasites, I promise! Their treats are to die for!"

"...So far, all I'm seeing is gaudy colors and lots of children. Feels kinda shady to me. And what is this 'ice cream' treat, anyway?"

"One of the best things you'll ever taste! So come on! Trust me! When's the last time I was irresponsible with our funds anyway?"

Just last week, with the "brilliant" idea to spend hundreds on an expensive shawl I saw. It wasn't even made of real gold! Iyozane wanted to say, but by the time they opened their mouth, Fumikado had already taken off.

...And by the cries of children that just rang out, right into the middle of the line. Iyozane let out a loud, put-upon sigh as they trudged after them.

"Sorry..." They mumbled towards the angry people now behind them, tugging their haori closer. It was the least they could offer, knowing how rude and impatient their boss can be. That sort of thing tended to make people angry, didn't it?

When it wasn't done by a royal it seemed, so some of their siblings had claimed every now and then to them in a past as distant as a bad memory. But Iyozane wasn't a royal anymore. They didn't even get to indulge that privilege even once before they lost it.

The dark thought washed over them like a plague. They turned to berate them for cutting in line, as the alternative was letting it weigh on their mind. But then Fumikado beamed at them, and the poison died from their lips.

"You're gonna love it Iyozane! I promise! I know all the best flavors!" They reassured them, "Trust me! I am the seer of ice cream!"

Considering Fumikado's track record when it comes to foresight, that did not inspire the confidence they had intended such a statement would. Still, it was a little hard to be overcome with dread when their strong and dignified boss is bouncing on their heels like a giddy little kid.

Okay, incredibly hard actually. It was hard to stay nervous with them behaving like that. Iyozane lowered their head, looking at the ground and their wobbly feet, the tension eased slightly from their shoulder.

Perhaps it was from Fumikado skipping ahead in line, perhaps it was their own thoughts siphoning away the time, but it felt like Iyozane had only blinked before they were both at the front of the line. They had to rub their eyes at the feeling when they were suddenly met with the sight of the bright pink wooden counter.

Fumikado held up a couple fingers to the smiling person behind the counter, "A box of mochi please! Give us chocolate, vanilla, and matcha for Iyozane here!"

The merchant nodded, "Coming right up. Your enthusiasm is much appreciated, but next time, please wait your turn. You might make the much more patient children cry."

"Oh." They glanced nervously behind themself, as if to check. Iyozane couldn't help but follow their gaze, as they so often did. The children directly behind them looked more annoyed than anything. But it seemed even the mere thought was enough weight on Fumikado's conscience, as they swiftly turned back to bow apologetically, "...My bad!"

The merchant gave a light chuckle, holding out a small basket full of little mochi. Woah, that was fast!

"It's alright! Just remember for the future."

Fumikado tilted their head forward as they took the basket with both hands, "Will do!"

The merchant waved them off, and just like that their little trip to such an odd merchant stand was over.

Iyozane didn't stop reeling until Fumikado found them a nice bench to sit on. They then tilt the basket forward so they can see.

"Go on! Try one! I stake a claim upon one of the chocolate ones!"

Iyozane looked the mochi over. They saw brown, green, and white at its bottom. They could tell the green ones were obviously the matcha ones, and Fumikado plucking up a brown one indicated it was the chocolate flavor. So the white ones were this "vanilla" flavor? They're kinda curious about that one, actually...

Fumikado popped the chocolate mochi into their mouth, "...Mm!!! I missed you, chocolate!"

Iyozane chuckled a little at this display. They've actually never got the opportunity to try anything with the label of "chocolate" before now. In the distant past, they only heard it in passing. Mitori had told them extensively about it in such a way that left their mouth watering. None of their wardens attendants would let them try it, saying it will rot their perfect teeth or make them sick. They weren't allowed to eat any sweets, actually. But chocolate especially.

But the present is not the past. They are no longer a lonely bird in a cage, yearning to experience the horizons beyond their window. They are a free person (if an indebted one), and able to decide for themself what to put in their own body. And if that thing rots their teeth or makes them sick?

Then let it!!!

And before they could let it stop them, Iyozane reaches into the basket, takes a green mochi between their fingers, and takes a large bite.

...Bliss.

It was definitely cold to the touch, but it was very sweet, like all the green teas they were familiar with. A touch of bitterness, which balances out the sweetness. It hurt their teeth to chew, but it was absolutely worth it.

Iyozane heard a chuckle beside them, "I take it you like the matcha flavor?"

They swallowed, smiling earnestly now, "...Guess so! Wasn't expecting it to be so cold though."

"Well duh! It's called ice cream, you dummy! It would probably be called somethin' like fire cream if it was hot!"

Iyozane rolled their eyes, "That is the worst name for a sweet I've ever heard."

"Well, I personally think it sounds pretty cool myself!" Fumikado huffed.

"Whatever makes you feel better," was all Iyozane had to say to that, directly before popping the rest of the mochi into their mouth.

Wowie...They had no idea how they went their whole life without experiencing this. How many sweets have they missed out on? How many people even got to try anything like this, knowing how unreliable Fumikado can be at times?

As if reading their mind, Fumikado leaned back, inhaling a matcha mochi they plucked up when Iyozane wasn't paying attention, "Rumor has it that the ice cream merchant is from the Outside World. Brought this sweet with, and now goes around Mugenri selling it."

"Mm," Iyozane nodded in agreement. They go for a so-called "vanilla" mochi. They took a bite as Fumikado continued.

"I can't remember who told me that rumor. Probably a servant some long time ago... but either way I knew we couldn't miss this! A shame Tsugumi didn't want to come..."

"For a rumor, it certainly has some merit to it, with a merchant stand looking like that," Iyozane pointed over at the stand in question, swallowing the rich sweet iciness in their mouth. In the distance, children rotated in and out of the line for the garish pink stand. Some clutched upside-down cone shaped cookies with brightly colored, larger versions of the filling within their own mochis.

"Hm...Good point, my dear servant! I suppose even a moron can be right every now and then."

Please don't confuse me for yourself. We walked past this stand three times trying to look for it, Iyozane sneered inwardly, too busy finishing off their vanilla mochi to actually jeer.

Not that it mattered for too much longer, for Fumikado's next words nearly made their heart leap out of their chest, "But I digress! Thanks again for coming with me today, Iyozane! It really means a lot to me!"

Iyozane had to do a double take at that. Fumikado? Sincerely thanking someone? Not their odd roundabout way of showing gratitude? They never thought they'd see the day.

In fact, Iyozane isn't used to gratitude like this at all. In another life, all of those suffocating expectations were just that: expectations. You were supposed to fulfill them, or otherwise be punished. Also, Fumikado is their boss. If anything, a lack of gratitude was to be expected.

So with that in mind, one could certainly pardon Iyozane for their flustered reaction. They fan themself with their hand, sweat beading down their forehead, and thankful the blazing heat of summer disguised their anxiety well. Although, their voice probably gave it away when they heard themself stammer a smidge:

"Uh...You-You're welcome, Fumikado-san. I mean...it's not like I had much else to do today, right?"

Scratch that. They sounded very, very nervous to their own ears. Not good not good not good-

However, if Fumikado noticed, they certainly didn't say anything. They just crossed their leg, rubbing the back of their head as if nervous themself.

"N-No! I really mean it! Whenever I got the chance to visit the ice cream merchant here, old Pops, may he rest in peace, never let me go with anyone. Well, it's not like I had many to go with to begin with. Just Chouki, but..."

Their pointy ears twitch, like most youkai do when anxious. Unbelievable. But like...in a good way? Fumikado sounded in over their head over taking them to somewhere as simple as the marketplace, and yet Iyozane couldn't help but find it weirdly endearing in its own way. The way they chuckle awkwardly was doing strange, terrible things to their heart and makes their legs go weak, and they couldn't begin to comprehend why.

They hid it well, in their opinion. They just raised an eyebrow, saying, "So you're saying you're lonely?"

"Not lonely!" they huff, "Just...in need of companionship for this very special occasion is all!"

"...So lonely?"

"No!!! You're utterly impossible sometimes, Iyozane!"

Iyozane had to cackle a bit at that. "Why of course I am. If I wasn't, we wouldn't get anything done. We'd probably still be terribly lost right now if it weren't for me."

"Don't be so arrogant. I'm the one in charge, remember?"

"Then act like it."

"Okay! Sheesh. Even emperors make mistakes, don't they?"

There was no malice in either's words. Iyozane felt a wide grin had graced their face, and Fumikado was beaming equally as much. They both laugh once more.

"Why yes. Yes they do. Would appreciate if you had a better sense of direction somedays though," Absentmindedly, Iyozane reaches into the basket for the last mochi.

And that's when, ever so suddenly, fingers, big and slightly sharp from retracted talons, brushed against their own. Iyozane let out a small yelp of surprise as they both grabbed for the little sweet, raising it up.

"Oh...Uh, whoops?" Fumikado offered awkwardly, shrugging.

It took a moment for Iyozane to respond. They were too busy staring at the chocolate mochi between their hands. If they moved just the wrong way, they could easily end up gripping Fumikado's hand instead. The thought didn't quite disturb them as much as they'd expect it to.

"Um...It's the last one...I've never had chocolate anything before..." they eventually mumble, looking away.

"Seriously?! Not even a little chip?!"

"No. Locked away for most of my life, remember?" Iyozane gently chided.

"Oh right! Uh...So how about we share it then?"

"Share it?" Iyozane parroted back at them. They looked back over to see Fumikado tug at the mochi between their fingers.

"Yeah! I get half, you get half! Think of it as generosity on my part, as a token of appreciation."

"You just want me to try chocolate, don't you?"

"And so what if I do? It's a crime against sweets for you to never have even tried it!"

That sounded like something Mitori would say as they attempted to slip them some. The guards would always catch them back then, alas.

But that was then and this is now. And right now, that sounded delightful. Iyozane nodded, their hand clenching the wooden bench beneath their hand.

And then they split the last mochi in two and ate their respective halves. The taste made all the needless struggle all the more worth it.

"...So what did you think? Was it everything you expected?" Fumikado asked, their mouth still full.

Iyozane waited a moment as they swallowed. It...wasn't quite how Mitori had built the taste up to be (though it could just be because it is cold), but it was well worth it in the end. It almost melted in their mouth, even (albeit rather literally).

"Hm...I'd say so! Can definitely see why Mitorin always loved the stuff now, at least."

"Oh come on! No shock and awe at the taste?" Fumikado pleaded.

They shook their head, "What were you expecting? I'm nowhere near as dramatic as you typically are, you know that."

"Why excuse you!!! I'm as expressive as an emperor should be!" They crossed their arms, pouting.

"Which is really dramatic apparently, but who am I to judge?" Iyozane couldn't help their snicker at the aggravated shout Fumikado let out at that, proving their point.

But that's Fumikado for you. Loud, boisterous, and more than a little dense. There's a certain charm to them though. Otherwise, they wouldn't have stuck with them as long as they have. Still doesn't explain the heart racing whenever they see them smile like that though.

But that's a question for another day. The two just chattered and babbled amongst themselves until the sun set and they had to head home. It wasn't a very interesting story, in Iyozane's mind, but it was well worth it all the same. Tsugumi had missed out! And neither of them could wait to tell them all the ways how.

Psst! Hey! I'm taking requests now! Feel free to drop one in my inbox after reading the rules here (might need to go on desktop first though)!

[autisticarach]

An interesting first meeting

Pairing: hobie brown x Asa Rameriz (kinda they are weird together tbh)

warning(s): none

Summery: The go home machine spits hobie out in one of his friends universe’s only for him to find…

Initially, he isn’t all that sure where the machine spits his out. He knows it’s a room, either a nursery or a bedroom, and that it looks well loved. The room is painted a soft blue, and there’s a fluffy white rug on the floor. All of the furniture is a neat matte black color, with carvings of flowers, vines and unfamiliar symbols as decoration.  All of the furniture is ever so slightly worn, well taken care of and loved. There’s a crib against one wall, and a bunk bed set against another wall. The room is ever so slightly messy, but in a comfortable, well lived way. 

When a sharp cry, a cry so loud that it sounds like it’s directly in his ear, pierces the air, he ducks out of habit, knives out, scanning the room for any threats. He stands back up looking all over the room to find the source of the noise but in a sudden moment, before even his spider sense can warn him, he’s up against a wall, completely stuck. The cold metal of a knife, held by one of his close friends, rests against his neck, pricking him ever so slightly.

“Hey calm your shit,” he says jokingly, because he figures that this is probably just a prank, when he really takes in Asa. He’s barefoot, dressed in a neat black dress with a white apron on top, and he’s shaking so badly that even the knife trembles.

“Hey love,” he says, ignoring the senses that scream danger, that scream threat, “it’s me,” he says, gentle as he knows how, “it’s just me.” Asa’s shaking seems to calm enough for recognition to enter his somehow brown eyes.

He takes the knife away and somehow he’s still stuck. Asa reaches past him, pulls a knife out of the wall, absolutely apologetic. He pulls out three more and suddenly he can move again. He turns to the wall, realizes that in a second, Asa pinned him to the wall with knives. He’s pretty fucking impressed. 

“I’m so sorry Hobie,” He says, bustling over to the crib and pulling out a fucking baby. “It’s just with the kids being home and the stuff that the news has been saying, well, long story sort, I haven't been sleeping and I guess that’s made me more then a little paranoid.” Paranoid, he thinks as Asa checks him over while holding the baby, is not the correct fucking word. Paranoid is for people that are not terrifying and could kill him. He knew there was a reason that he’s friends with Asa.

“Would you like something to eat?” Asa asks politely, rocking the baby back and forth, bouncing it softly. “Is that your..” he trails off, asking without saying anything at all. It’s not that he carers, he’s just curious. “In a sense, she’s my baby sister, her name is Mirabel.” He looks at the baby, the baby who looks almost exactly like Asa. the door opens again and two children rush in, one of them screaming, “Ma!” Asa raises an eyebrow and the child quiets, repeats, “Ma, Luci hit me.”

Asa with an ease that reminds him of the way his mother used to be, strong and gentle at the same time, picks up the upset child and asks, “What happened in the lead up to the hit?” The other child makes an upset noise, silenced by a quick look.

The first child begins to speak, “I was playing and Luci hit me.” Asa raises an eyebrow, hands him a baby,and while adjusting his grip for him, picks up the other child. Look, he knows that being a spider means you’re strong, but there’s something about seeing the way that Asa handles his strength, never fussing or even raising his voice, reminds him why he still works with the society, for the people. “Alright Luci, your turn to tell your side of the story.” 

“I was trying to read and Jaya was yelling and I was trying to signal but she wasn’t listening and I lashed out.” See Hobie knows Asa, knows his sharp cruelty and willingness to kill, just like he knows the Asa that works with the new recruits and helps them through their first days with a calm gentleness. This Asa isn’t either of the Asa’s, this one looks quiet and kind, patient.

“Jaya, were you yelling mi demonio?” The child with a more complicated braid in their hair nods, and Asa makes a soft sighing sound. “Okay because neither of you were paying attention to each other I want you to go and practice your signals, deal?” Both of the kids nod and Asa sets them, watching as they run off. 

Suddenly he knows how Asa manages to run teams so effectively, because he’s just using the same tactics he uses for young children on teenagers and adults.

“Sorry about them,” Asa says lightly, “We’re working on effective communication right now.” He takes the baby back, and turns away, heading out of the room like he’s expecting Hobie to follow. He shrugs because he’s kind of curious anyways, and heads down the hall after them. The hallway is lightly colored, littered with photos, all with a label in Asa’s slanted writing. The hallway spills into a bright kitchen, with yellow cabinets, white handles and books everywhere. Asa himself is standing at the stove, baby on his back, a spicy scent filling the air.

“I’m just reheating some tamales, take a seat at the table.” He sits, taking off his shoes because he knows that Asa hates the idea of shoes in the house with a violent, burning, passion and he doesn’t want to die today. 

“Does anyone at the society know about them?” He asks, watching the way Asa stiffens and sighs. The baby on Asa’s back, Mirabel, giggles at him, reaching out. “No. you’re the only one right now. I’m thinking about telling Diane but I’m scared. I will not lose my children.” He thinks of everything that he has lost, and everything he’d do to protect them if he could.

“I won’t tell anyone, I promise.” Asa turns to him and his posture is loose, and calm. “Thank you so much Hobie, you can’t understand what they mean to me.” He can because he remembers the loss, pain, grief, love, that is family. 

“Don’t worry about it luv, now give me some of those tamales.”

[mouthpiece-simp]

ougj hello. if requests aren't open disregard this but would you mind terribly if you did pacesetter/reader hcs where reader is a human woman whos a singer in toontown. im starving for pacesetter/reader content

Pacesetter x Human/Woman/Singer Reader Headcanons

Man, do people still do stuff like Human! Woman! Singer! Reader or was that phased out? This is my first time writing fanfic on any noticeable scale in years... I don't know this stuff anymore lol.

👟Graham knew about your existence for a while. Who didn't? You were known as a bit of an anomaly among toons and Cogs since you were human, and both sides tried to recruit you. But all you'd do was sing and perform.

👟So one day he decides he's gonna see what the big fuss is all about and go to one of your concerts.

👟Backstage, one of your crew members told you that none other than Graham Payser was sitting in the audience. You were flattered- you'd heard so much about this dangerous yet apparently very attractive Cog, and here he was in your audience!

👟You do your performance as usual, and once the concert is over you're surprised to find Graham casually waiting backstage for you. Apparently he'd sweet talked his way past security because he was just that curious about you.

👟And he kinda sweet talked you as well... LOL. He was just really charismatic... and enchanting... and cute... and.........

👟Graham dramatically asks you out on a date, and you're a little hesitant since you just met him, but you agree because you couldn't pass up an opportunity like that!

👟And after that you two were a thing.

👟I hope you don't mind a fast paced relationship because he does pretty much everything really fast. It's just his personality. If you can't keep up with him, well... sorry.

👟Graham is very, VERY dramatic. He could get a paper cut and he'll fall to the floor and complain about how much it hurts and how he needs you to kiss him all better.

👟Stroke his ego, compliment him a lot.

👟He's also the kinda guy to respond with, "Who doesn't?" to, "I love you."

👟If you think he doesn't care about you though, you'll be proven very wrong. He will go to some crazy lengths to show his love for you, be it running a marathon or just giving you a hug when you're feeling down.

👟Makes tons of songs dedicated to you. Sometimes they're love songs, sometimes they're just songs he thinks are his masterpieces {well, he ALWAYS makes masterpieces, but like, extra masterpieces}.

👟If you sing for his songs or even make some of your own dedicated to him, he will be like 😍😍😍. Dude will go crazy with supporting you like the dramatic guy he is.

👟Don't be surprised if you wake up at like 4 AM to Graham running around the house getting ready because he thinks the sun is too slow and he's just better than even the sun. PS he got 2 hours of sleep.

👟Sometimes he randomly hugs you from behind and asks, "How's my future wife?"

👟He expects things to be done really really fast, so he's pretty impatient. You will have to help him calm down if you can't speed up the process at all.

👟Graham will try to recruit you into the ranks of the Cogs. It's up to you if you wanna accept it or not.

👟Toons will be hostile to you regardless because you're dating a Cog, though. But your boyfriend will green them for you and help you get cleaned up.

👟If he hears you humming or singing, be it practicing/recording a song or just absentmindedly, he will immediately shut up so he can listen. And when you're done he starts clapping and cheering for you. Might even pick you up and kiss you.

👟Speaking of picking you up, he likes to do that a lot. Prepare to be quite literally swept off your feet.

👟He calls himself your number one fan and will be there for all of your concerts, either onstage with you or cheering for you louder than anyone in the audience.

👟Graham is one heck of a flirt. He loves to watch you get all flustered.

👟Challenge him to a performance battle some time. He'll probably out perform you because he'll keep changing keys, tempos, and even going into the dreaded 6/8 time {good luck LOL}, but he'll love the challenge.

👟Hope you've kept up with his fast-paced personality! Things are never boring around Graham, that's for sure.

[aeoki]

Primavera - Quiet Spring: Chapter 3

Location: Seisou Hall (Eichi, Rei & Aira’s Room) Characters: Touri & Yuzuru

TL Note:

The Japanese word for “love (愛 / ai)” and is homonymous with the first half of Aira’s first name (although the characters are different).

< That night. Eichi’s room, Seisou Hall. >

Eichi: …………

(*...Sigh* That was a heavier announcement than I had expected.)

(There is a possibility “Chocolat Fest” may be cancelled – If it were my usual self, I would say, “Things like that can happen.” and would have paid it no mind.)

(But I had a hunch that Touri would be shocked to hear the news. I hesitated and wondered if I should have really mentioned it to him.)

(Hehe. The heir to the Tenshouin Zaibatsu is weak to those important to him.)

(I tend to forget where I stand when I’m in front of Wataru, Yuzuru and Touri.)

(Now that I think about it, I’ve been learning about kingcraft for a long time now. They really cared about my health and created “Eichi Day” because of it, but those feelings are so precious and radiant.)

(That’s why I wish to do something for them… Thinking realistically, there is a big problem that is stopping us from holding “Chocolat Fest” at the moment.)

(Delivering love with chocolates, huh…)

(I see. Perhaps, the reason why I feel irritated is because it’s an issue related to “Chocolat Fest”.)

(Because it’s an event where we give love through sweets…)

(Just like how “that person” once gave me love, I wonder what they would think of me now.)

Aira: I’m back~♪

Yup, my vocal lesson today was perfect! The vocal trainer praised me for once today!

They looked like someone scary and strict so it feels even better. Ehehehe, I can’t help but jump for joy ♪

Eichi: Welcome back, Shiratori-kun. I see you’re making progress every day in your lessons ♪

Aira: Huh…? Tenshouin-senpai!? I didn’t notice you there!

Wow, that’s really embarrassing! The room was so quiet so I didn’t think anyone was in here and made a loud fuss!

Eichi: No, don’t worry about it. This is a shared room so there’s no need to be so proper, is there?

Actually, I’m sorry for talking to you out of the blue like that. It’s still a bit early to sleep so I guess you wouldn’t expect someone to lie in bed this early.

Aira: No, no! It’s my fault because I didn’t take a proper look around the room!

But it’s rare and unexpected to see you flopped onto your bed like that, Tenshouin-senpai.

You’re usually sitting on the sofa or a chair so I didn’t notice you on your bed.

Eichi: Yeah. I was a little lost in thought. That’s why I was lying down. It’s a bit embarrassing to have shown you my weak side.

Aira: Ohh… Is there something on your mind?

Eichi: Yeah. It’s about “Chocolat Fest” – In extension, it’s something on the topic of love.

Aira: That sounds really grand…! As expected of you, Tenshouin-senpai – The things that are on your mind are probably something totally different from what I think about.

Eichi: Hehe. I tend to exaggerate things. It’s nothing on that level but… Since you’re here, would you lend an ear to my troubles, Shiratori-kun?

Aira: S-Sure! It’s about love, right? I was kinda curious since my name is “Aira[*]”, after all ♪

Eichi: Thank you. Then, I’ll brew us some black tea while we chat.

Aira: Oh, are you sure? Thank you so much! It’s so ravely to see you’ll brew a cup of tea for me ♪

Eichi: It was the perfect timing as I had time on my hands. Are you fine with Darjeeling?

Aira: Yes! I’m fine with anything you choose, Tenshouin-senpai!

Eichi: Alright. I’ll go prepare the teapot so can you wait a little? You can listen to what I have to say while it boils.

I… Or more so, the Tenshouin family has always been a patrilineal family. All boys born into the family must undergo strict education.

Like my ancestors, I too had to study the family precepts, kingcraft and other various concepts.

But I’ve had a frail body ever since I was born and the burden on my body was dreadful. I tried to run away from my everyday studies.

The only one who was kind to me was my grandmother. Every time I clung to her in tears, she would give me sweets.

It was either chocolates, cookies or candy. Sometimes, I would eat it there but other times, I would secretly take it into my room to eat.

Thinking back, those sweets served as something she poured her love and affection into.

I only realised that when my grandmother passed away, but it was a sweetness my young self needed.

I was thinking about next year’s “Chocolat Fest” and remembered.

Just like how my grandmother once did, I too wish to give love through sweets.

Aira: It sounds quite romantic… I went to see “Chocolat Fest” when I was in junior high school and was looking forward to participating the next year.

But if you’re thinking about it despite already having graduated, then does that mean you’ll be appearing in a Yumenosaki event as a guest?

Eichi: Hehe. As expected of you, Shiratori-kun. You’ve got a good hunch after pursuing idols on an everyday basis.

Actually, just like how the graduated students can hold Valentine’s Day events freely, I plan on holding “Chocolat Fest” at ES. It’s in the review stage at the moment.

If I had more power, I could have the final say in it but…

Aira: ………?

Eichi: No. Just talking to myself. The hot water has finished coming to a boil, so this should warm your cup.

What would you like served with your tea?

Aira: Ehehe ♪ Then, I guess I’ll have to go with chocolate!

I kinda feel like having some sweet chocolate after hearing you talk about it ♪

Eichi: Hehe. I unconsciously led you into thinking that.

Love cannot be perceived with the eyes and that’s exactly why it should be exchanged when it’s delivered. People, items and customs – All things cannot escape from loss.  

Frighteningly enough, you may only come to realise it when you lose those things. It simply means the things that you once took for granted may actually be something irreplacable.

← Previous Chapter ᠂ ⚘ ˚⊹˚ ⚘ ᠂  Next Chapter →

[flyingcookierambles]

i’m too cowardly to ask off-anon, but also like to keep record that it was me. im asking a certain someone this lol its 7:27 pm wed 7/12:

hi sorry if this is kinda ramble-y. im an 25+ introverted acearo who has never kissed or dated or "experimented" in high school/college cuz i was too focused on my grades and i think i'd would like to try sex once just see what all the fuss is about but i am also afab non-binary and i'm not "visibly trans" so i just get misgendered a lot as a "cis woman." would you have any advice on trying to not feel gender dysphoria when having sex? like, i feel like if i got flirted with by a cishet man or a cis lesbian woman, i feel like i would feel awkward and dysphoric like they are only attracted to me bc i look like a "woman" and also kinda bad like i am wasting their time. should i try to just put something in a dating/tinder/idk (dating app here) profile like "t4t" or my they/them pronouns or "ace4bi/pan" or "ace4other sex-favorable/curious aces" or a little trans flag emoji or something and hope people take the hint?

while i think i would prefer a 1-on-1 meeting for my first time, i also was worried about going to places like a total stranger's apartment/house/hotel alone and i had briefly thought about trying a public sauna since it did seem safer for the reasons that you gave to previous anon that there would be others around and security, but my city's gay baths is pretty. dinky? if google reviews of 2/5 stars are to be believed, it's kinda gone downhill since 2011 on facilities maintenance/showers/hot tub not working, etc., and is very pricey compared to other bigger cities' bathhouses. just generally disappointing i guess? and as an afab looking person, i think would only be allowed to go in on sundays which i think is their all genders day according to the website? but still, from my outward appearance, i was worried that i would get misgendered by any who approach me as a "girl" or get thought of as that stereotypical cishet girl invading gay bars/queer spaces, etc.

also, i dont like being touched on basically my entire torso/back or neck area, only limbs i think.

do you have any advice for a non-binary curious ultra-virgin/late bloomer with too many conditions for an ideal partner? should i just. try to think real hard about not thinking about getting misgendered and ignore any bad vibes/cbt/gaslight myself out of it??

or should i give up since i doubt that other extroverts who are experienced with no touch aversion issues and just looking to party/have a quick hook-up and have a good time would want to deal with introverted me and my picky-ness and gender/touch issues ruining their weekend/wasting their time?

(also i did kinda look into that surrogacy sex therapists/councilors that are apparently a thing now?? but they look like they're mostly in the cooler PNW/west coast areas. im stuck in plain boring uhh let's say think of ohio-pennsylvania-virginia tri-state area suburbs with limited car transportation. but i can get around the city by bus. its not even the cool east coast, its like mid-atlantic/midwest ugh. even some of those cuddle parties/councilors i had thought of for trying to lessen my touch-aversion are mostly west coast and texas for some reason?? my region is just too boring....)

(again sorry if this is a long ask! ^ ^ )

Edit: it got answered yay plus then a kind internet stranger gave advice a mini essay in the notes nice!

https://www.tumblr.com/drdemonprince/722689420814434304/hi-sorry-if-this-is-kinda-ramble-y-im-an-25?source=share

[taliah-tezel]

The sheepish smile turns genuine as soon as she hears him say 'c'mere'. As soon as his hands touch her cheeks, she breathes out, finding comfort in that physical contact. It both grounds and steadies her, tells her mind hey, you're ok now. That's all him, the way he can make her feel safe without even trying. He only needed to be in her space to create a whole different air. She wondered sometimes if he knew just how much she looked to him for those moments, the way she leaned on him, looked for him when she was feeling low. His comment about one going spare pulls a half smile from her, noting the way he was just rewording what she'd told him that day at the fair.

"I know," she mumbles against his front, hands curling around his back to cling onto him. The open promise only makes her squeeze tighter, burying her face into his chest and just take that moment to dissolve in his arms. Safe. She almost didn't want to lean back, every part of her just wanted to reclose that small space he created. "You already are." Helping. The glaze over her eyes now wasn't from sadness but relief, like she'd been trying all night just to catch her breath and now he was here, she could. Curious eyes wonder what he's smirking at, until she looks down at the dinosaurs painted on her choice of pj's. "Well," clearing her throat, she shrugs a shoulder. "I've got them in pink too, if you want to wear them, we can match." Teasing back, she smiles, though admittedly, it doesn't quite reach her eyes. She's just a little too exhausted, so much so there's not even an inch of her that can be bothered to hide it.

After her hands slipped around to his hips, she can't help but notice the state of her knuckles, bringing them into the space between them with a solid frown. "I'm sorry for scaring you." She mumbles. He hadn't said it out loud, but he didn't need to. She saw that fear in his eyes the second she looked at him. "Kinda scared myself too, if that helps anything." Probably not, but there it was. Swallowing the lump in the back of her throat, she looks up, finding her own peace in those blue eyes she loved so much. "You're staying with me?" For the night, she meant. Taliah kinda figured he was, but she just wanted to be sure. "I think.. I won't mind if you want to cuddle for the night. And maybe, um.. I'm also fine if you want to fuss on me, you know... a little bit, that's how you can help." She's teasing just in the way she says it, the faint hint of soft mischief fleeting across her features. But the point of it rang true, that is what she wanted. She felt safe enough with Cole to just be honest and fragile, vocalize that vulnerability he could surely see written all across her face. All she could think was how nice it would be to just let him take care of her without her own usual protests of not needing that sort of attention. Right now, it's pretty much all she needs.

Looking back, Cole wasn’t entirely sure how it’d happened, but before he’d even become aware of it, Taliah Tezel had gone from an angry teenager bulldozing her way through the clubhouse to the most important person in his life– from a stranger to someone he genuinely loved in ways he’d never loved anyone else. He might not have had a name for all that he felt towards her, but as he stood in the doorframe of her bathroom, watching her frown melt into something more familiar, Cole knew there’d never be anyone who got him quite like she did. And so to come face to face with the realization that he’d nearly lost her tonight? He could hardly fathom it– he didn’t want to. 

I’m okay. The words roused a soft smile to his lips, but he couldn’t help but wonder if she was only saying them for his benefit. He wouldn’t put it past her. She’d jumped off a cliff and had nearly gotten herself killed in the process and yet still, she was trying to soothe someone else’s worry. Sounded about right. But he didn’t want her to spare another thought for him and how he might be feeling. Besides, now that he was here with her, a lot of the discord he’d felt earlier had ebbed and flowed like an outgoing tide only to be replaced with relief. Chuckling gently at her request for a hug, he nodded and pushed off the doorframe, "C'mere.” He met her halfway, closing the gap between them and cupping her face in his hands, "When it comes to you, there’s always one goin’ spare," Cole murmured, hoping she picked up on the slight play on what she’d told him at the fair when they’d been huddled together in the photobooth. It wasn’t verbatim to what she’d said, but the sentiment was still very much the same. 

Dropping his hands, he hugged one arm around her middle and the other around her shoulders– both hauled her into him. Pressing a kiss to the top of her head, Cole leaned into the embrace and eased out a contented sigh, “I gotcha, T– always.” Careful not to hold her too tight, he gave her a gentle squeeze and tipped his head to the side, resting it against hers, “I promise.” It didn’t matter what happened– come hell or highwater, he’d always be there for Taliah. It was a theme in their friendship, one that had rang true from the day they met. Tracing light patterns at the small of her back, Cole leaned back just enough to peer down at her, “How can I help?” He refrained from asking her if she wanted to talk about it. If she wanted to, he’d listen, but he wouldn’t press her for a recap of what happened– not tonight. Cole figured she’d already given the gist of it to Nate anyway and he wouldn’t push her to repeat herself. Glancing down into the scant space between them, he rubbed his lips into a thin line for a moment, fighting off a grin, “Cute pjs, by the way.” Humor hardly felt appropriate at a time like this, but it reminded him of something he knew she’d do for him. She’d give him a breather from the suffocating weight of everything he was feeling, and so Cole wanted to do the same for her.

[ddejavvu]

stepdad!sirius teaching shy and innocent reader how to touch herself (she's of age ofc!)

hope it's okay with u and i didn't make u uncomfy with that request — if i did then im sorry!!!

~ 🐇

today is multiverse monday! send me any au you can think of :)

a quick note (copied from my last post just in case you missed it): i totally understand if you're not into stepcest! i personally am not upset by it as my boundaries are sexually illegal acts, and it's not illegal. but everyone has different boundaries, and this happens to be the darkest thing i've ever posted on this blog. i understand if you want no part of this, so if you'd like to avoid this content in the future, block #dark mei (at the bottom of this post) to avoid it! I will not judge you for not wanting to read this or see it, and i ask that you please do not send hate towards me for writing it, or the anon for requesting it. everyone has different tastes, and i'm here to indulge pretty much anything that isn't illegal.

on with the blurb! this post is 18+ and dark, minors dni. reader is 18+ in this.

god i’m such a whore for the ‘teaching reader how to touch herself’ plotline like idc who it’s with it’s always so hot

--

Your fingers squirmed aimlessly through your folds, disappointingly bringing no pleasurable sensation. You’d been trying for almost five minutes to find a good spot, a nice pace, anything that felt good at all, but nothing was happening.

You’d gotten curious only a few moments earlier, finally deciding that you wanted to see what all of the fuss was about. You didn’t know why there was so much buzz over touching yourself, frankly it felt quite lackluster, but you wanted to feel as good as everyone said you would.

You were so caught up in attempting to pleasure yourself, twisting your fingers this way and that, that you failed to hear the creak of your door opening, a soft cry spilling from your lips as the only sensation you gained from the experience was pain. You were on the verge of giving up when you heard a soft chuckle from the doorway, eyes blowing wide open as you turned to see who had stumbled upon you.

Sirius, your recently married stepdad, stood in the doorway, one eyebrow cocked pitifully at you, “Oh, darling, that’s not how it’s done.”

The tone of his voice, condescending and saccharine-sweet had a strange feeling brewing in your tummy, the domineering stance he held in your doorway only adding to it. You quickly removed your fingers from under the hem of your panties, cheeks ablaze as you tried acting normal.

“’M sorry, Sirius,” You choked on a sob that came fast to your throat, “I know ‘m not supposed to, but-”

“But you wanted to feel good, yeah?” He stepped through the gap of the door, shutting it softly behind him as he made his way over to your bed, perching on the end of it.

You nodded bashfully, “Mhm, but it doesn’t work. Can’t stop hurting,” You did not miss the twinges of pain that came from your core as you’d fumbled with the concept, glad that you’d had an excuse to take your fingers out.

“Honey,” His voice was dripping now with more condescension than ever, “That’s ‘cause you’re not even wet. Y’gotta get excited first, then it’ll feel better.”

“Really?” Your eyes were wide as you stared up at him from where you laid, “How do I get wet?”

“Do y’want me to show you, baby?” Sirius offered, something sadistic behind his falsely helpful eyes.

“You’ll help me feel good?” You verified, tummy still brewing with the same funny sensation.

“Of course,” He smiled, nodding softly, “Anything for my baby girl.”

You returned his smile, shuffling on the bed so that your legs were on either side of him. He reached slowly for the hemline of your panties, your tummy practically cartwheeling inside of you. His fingers, long and slender and worn, peeled back the layer of fabric as he peered down at you.

“Well, m’pretty thing, it looks like we’re getting somewhere already.”

“What do you mean?”

“Does it feel kinda funny in there?” Sirius let the hem of your panties go, resting his hand on your tummy. You nodded, his touch amplifying the sensation swirling inside of you.

“That’s what I thought,” Sirius smirked, “That’s you gettin’ wet, baby.” He returned to your panties, sliding the material down your thighs, “‘Think it’s ‘cause I’m here helpin’ you.”

“You think I get wet because of you?” You silently committed the information to memory, promising yourself to go back later and think about what it was about Sirius that got you excited.

“Yeah baby,” He cooed, ghosting a finger over your cunt, sending a quick tremble through your legs, “So that means that whenever y’wanna feel good, y’gotta think about me. That’ll do it, okay?”

“Okay,” Your voice came out strained and soft, “I will, I promise.”

“That’s m’good girl,” Sirius smiled down at you, gently easing a finger into your cunt. You sucked in a harsh breath at the touch, expecting the same spurts of pain as you’d experienced before, but instead a gentle tingling sensation accompanied his touch, “Now, let’s make y’feel really good.”

[sunnydayjackass]

I’ve been kinda down lately, and I thought of the question.

What would Jack do if Y/N were in any danger? Say like a person attempted to harm them, or tried to abduct them in real time? I’m really curious on what would go down-

I'm sorry to hear that boo. Ask box is open if you have more requests or my DMs if you want someone to vent to. Safe & judgment free

TW: attempted kidnapping, aggravated assault, gore ish?

It goes without saying that the fact Jack is real, tangible, and corporeal to only you has more cons than it does pros. While Jack is known to fuss and fawn about you, he worries more than he'll ever let on. Under that sunny optimistic bravado is layers of worry and anxiety about your well being. He's very aware that the world can be a cruel and unforgiving place. People have bad intentions and he stresses over doing what he can to protect you from it.

It's a delicate line to walk, Jack doesn't want to smother you or scare you of course but I can absolutely see him as the type to gently encourage you getting something to defend yourself on the walks home from work. After all they make such cute options these days!! Whether you do or don't buy into investing in these items (real talk-- please do) it still doesn't do much to ease Jack's worries.

These fears are made made real, ripped right from his nighmares one evening when the pair of you are walking home from a shift at Popov's. A car approaching slowly from behind to roll up alongside you, Jack can feel you tense up, your hand slowly towards your bag and in a blink the car stops and a man approaches you. Gentle at first to attempt to persuade you into the vehicle, buttering you up with compliments, asking you out tonight. Its so bizarre and forward you're disgusted immediately. But when you decline and hasten your walk to your apartment with Jack eagerly ushering you along, you're struck with something hard and heavy at the back of your head.

What if Jack could possess others? There's this searing rage that boils in his veins, an absolute fury that he himself has never experienced before. And what follows...well- you have no idea. But it isn't pretty by any means. What Jack orchestrates is nothing short of slow and brutal torture of a man by his own hands. Those same vile hands that dared to reach out at you, dared to hurt you, it was likely for the best those hands be broken, right? Those covetous eyes that dragged over your body, that brain that carried such awful thoughts and ideas- whatever impulse or synapse dictated that attempting to harm you was a good idea needed to be snuffed out. Jack takes his time, his voice teasing and taunting his man and orchestrating mutilation...it's deserved of course. All Jack does, he does for you.

You're woken not long after, your head throbbing as you groan and hear Jack breathe a sigh of relief. "I was so worried you were concussed but...had to get us home as quickly as possible." You still look discombobulated, trying to get your bearings before you see Jack's face but your vision still swims a little. You could have sworn he had on more facepaint but maybe you're just seeing things. The two of you hurry home where Jack fetches the first aid kit from under the sink.

As you sit on the lip of the bathtub with your back to Jack as he gently sifts through your hair, cleaning away caked blood and the nasy gash at your head, the bleeding mostly stopped deep mottled bruising around where the impact was. Jack's heart breaks, sinking into the floor as he looks at it. If only he could do more to keep you safe, he'd been lucky this time and he'd do it without question again and again for you. He was happy to do it, enjoyed it even. There wasn't a lick of remorse for the decimated unrecognizable corpse he left behind. But for you? It was unfathomable tragedy. "...I'm...I'm so sorry Sunshine." Jack breathes shakily as he tends to your wound.

Your purse your lips and clench your jaw as prickles of pain erupt from his helpful handiwork. "No, you don't have anything to apologize for...you told me to get self defense stuff. I should have been quicker on the draw." You want to stay strong, you want this to roll off your back but your chest feels tight and your mouth feels bone dry. "...did...did anything happen? To me?" You're so afriad to ask but you're entirely unsure. You feel fine. Your clothes aren't fucked up. But you don't know what happened or how long you were out for.

"Oh no, no no no, Sunbeam. Nothing else happened to you." Jack answers quickly, and you know he's telling the truth. His hands fall from your hair to rub your shoulders with his large hands, thumbs pressing along the back of your neck the way you like.

"What did happen?" You ask quietly and Jack stalls for a moment, a mere second, that you thankfully don't seem to take notice of. Jack thinks back to the sight he left behind. Hands broken, crushed as bone splintered through the fleshy digits. Skull caved in, face brutalized into the interior under the hood that was pressed down impossibly tight. Those eye tho, Jack had made sure to rid of those though, that had been the first item on the list. Gruesome, sure but attacking you was an unforgivable act.

Leaning down, Jack peppers you with delicate kisses, his scent replacing the sterilized smell of rubbing alcohol and medicinal ointment as arms move to hug you to him from behind. "Nothing happened, Sunshine. Nothing you have to fret about. I'll keep you safe. I promise."