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cheegu3 · 1 year ago

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Enhypen - the glory (part 10)

summary; after rejecting one of the most popular boys at your new school, you soon realised that you'd done the gravest mistake of your life; these weren't ordinary boys, and now they were set on making your life a living hell - heavily based on the kdrama with the same name

warnings; yandere themes, bullying themes, blood, knives, death? sexual tones, swearing

genre; yandere

wc; 7.6k

pairing; enha x f.m reader

note; some will be horrified and some will be happy after reading this lol, also let me know if you have any unanswered questions u want for the next chapter, love u thank u 🤍🤍

masterlist

‘’ I have no idea. ‘’

The car fell silent and continued to be all the way until you reached your house. Soobin hesitated before unlocking the car, which scared you a little; having been used to the torture at school for so long.

When he noticed your panicked eyes, he looked apologetic. ‘’ I was just thinking about if you still feel safe staying at your house. ‘’

‘’ Do you mean because of Jake? ‘’

‘’ Mainly, but I guess…everything else too. ‘’

You hadn’t even considered the possibility of not going home for a while. But thinking it over, you realized that Soobin’s house was a lot closer to where they lived. Even if you felt a bit better having someone else by your side, it was more likely that something would happen if you stayed the night over there. Especially since they had shown some jealousy over the friendship.

Not wanting to trigger something, you opened the door and gave Soobin a small smile.

‘’ No, I’ll be okay. ‘’

‘’ Are you sure? ‘’

Although you took some time to answer, when you finally did you felt pretty sure in your decision and hoped Soobin wouldn’t worry too much.

‘’ I’m sure, I will just text you if something happens. ‘’

‘’ Not just that. You can text me if you can’t sleep or if you want to come over because you’re scared too, ‘’ he softly said, warming your heart with his compassion.

‘’ Okay, thank you. ‘’

He unlocked the car at last and waved goodbye before driving off. You stood outside and watched until his car wasn’t visible anymore.

‘’ Y/n? ‘’

You turned to your dad, relieved it was his voice and not someone else’s that you heard there in the dark; the clock must be what…7pm now? You wouldn’t want to be caught out that late with one of your bullies like last time with Jake.

‘’ What are you doing out? ‘’

‘’ I was just throwing out the trash. Why did you come home so late? ‘’

‘’ You just noticed, ‘’ you chuckled dryly, ‘’ Dad of the year. ‘’

You went inside without waiting for him but he quickly caught up, joining you in the elevator just in time for it closing. He fidgeted with his hands and looked very uncomfortable as you passed the first floors. You tried to ignore him, which proved to be quite difficult since it looked like he had something he wanted to say.

‘’ I haven’t been the best dad, I know that. Especially lately I’ve…been just out of it. I’m sorry, y/n, I really am. ‘’

Your mouth stayed closed - you did so hoping that he would continue talking because you wanted an explanation. He had been quite bad with being present in the past but lately it was constant. He acted as if he didn’t have a daughter at all which was odd given he should’ve been concerned for you since you were getting bullied at school.

‘’ Your mother’s not doing well. ‘’

Your heart twisted painfully at the sudden revelation, ‘’ What do you mean she’s not doing well? ‘’

He had your full attention now. You could tell it was something that had weighed down on him for a long time; he looked really guilty when he saw your glossy eyes and worried voice at what he had said. At the same time, he knew he couldn’t keep it to himself forever.

‘’ Her condition has drastically worsened since the last time you visited her. ‘’

‘’ So get her treated! ‘’ you burst out passionately.

‘’ She is. ‘’

You tilted your head, watching him in silence. If she was getting treated why did he still sound so sad, like he had news that were even worse, and not any good ones?

‘’ It’s just- ‘’ he struggled with his words and tried to gather them with his gestures before continuing, ‘’ You won’t like how. ‘’

Your dad glanced at you quickly and sensed the rising panic within due to being out of the loop so he hurried to explain it to the best of his abilities, still knowing it would probably cause strong feelings and arguments afterwards.

‘’ They’re helping me with the treatment. She’s been transferred to a private hospital. ‘’

‘’ They? ‘’ you laughed humourlessly, ‘’ No- don’t tell me…’’

‘’ I’m sorry. I didn’t have a choice. It was between that or letting her die. ‘’

You guess you got your answer as to why he wasn’t so concerned with you getting bullied; he wasn’t just indebted to them for life, he probably saw them with halos over their heads too and not horns like you did.

‘’ No! I can’t possibly understand that. I would’ve taken more extra jobs if it meant saving mom, we could’ve done it together. But you went behind my back and did this! ‘’

Your words seemed to hit him like knives. Every time your voice got even louder and your throat started to hurt from the hoarseness, he flinched as if you were hurting him physically. But you didn’t care; you no longer saw him as the hero who had saved you from Jake that day and defended his daughter, you saw him as a betrayer.

Sure, most people would do anything it takes to save their loved ones but this? This was a clear way of showing that if he had to choose between you and your mom, he would choose her every time. In such a cruel way too - your bullies of all the rich and ‘’ hospitable ‘’ people in the world.

This was just another method for them to keep their claws around their puppet that was you, playing with life and death as if they were nothing.

‘’ We can talk again when you’ve calmed down. This is something you will understand when you get a bit older, and then…hopefully there will come a time when you don’t resent me for making the right but hard choice. ‘’

You felt so angry and overwhelmed that you didn’t even know what to say or do with yourself. In an attempt to save face, you ran out without a word when you felt the hot tears start to sting in your eyes.

Immediately you got the phone out and called Soobin. You managed to keep your feelings under the surface until you got inside his car and the bubble burst, tears flowed down your cheeks and you let it all come out.

‘’ What- what’s wrong? ‘’ he realized when he had already started driving that you were crying.

The adoring smile that he had directed at you when just casually glancing was wiped off immediately and he pulled the car over to the nearest place.

‘’ No, Soobin it’s okay keep driving, ‘’ you said in between your sniffles.

He didn’t look convinced but drove to his house anyway. From the spot he stopped until the car pulled into his road, he kept asking if you were really sure you wanted to stay at his house and not go to a hotel or somewhere else.

You were ready to get irritated when he asked for the third time. Then you spotted Jungwon’s house far in the distance up the hill and changed your mind.

‘’ Actually…do you have another place we can stay? ‘’

‘’ Of course! Our family has a cabin outside of the city. Let me just park here and grab some stuff, okay? ‘’

‘’ Yeah, can I wait here? ‘’

‘’ Sure. I will be back super super soon, don’t worry. ‘’

You nodded and smiled through the blurry vision of tears. Soobin half-jogged inside and was back before you even had time to let the anxiety grow inside you.

He explained that the cabin was about an hour or two from the city; and that was the last thing you heard before the exhaustion took hold of you and you succumbed to a comfortable slumber while he drove.

*******

‘’ Hey, we’re here. ‘’

You flinched at the touch of someone else, sitting up straight and now wide awake. The familiar sigh coming from Soobin in front of you made your whole body visibly relax.

‘’ Sorry, didn’t mean to scare you. ‘’

‘’ That’s okay. ‘’

You got out of the car and started helping him unload the trunk. Tons of stuff was thrown into the cabin - a cabin that was about twice the size you expected. A big wooden house that had three stories and was right by a lake.

‘’ It’s a modern cabin, so we don’t have to make the food over a fire, don’t worry, ‘’ Soobin joked, earning an airy laugh from you.

‘’ I would’ve taken whatever to be honest. Just needed to get away from the city and everything there for a while. ‘’

‘’ I get that. ‘’

The last few things from the car had been carried inside now. Soobin started unpacking the bags and moving all over the cabin as he spread things out, making himself at home.

You brought your own stuff to one of the bedrooms on the top floor. A few thoughts started popping into your head about how you wouldn’t be able to sleep alone. But you pushed them aside, convincing yourself you didn’t need any more help since Soobin had already done so much for you.

‘’ Are you sure you want to sleep alone? We could sleep in the same room, I’d just take the couch, ‘’ Soobin said not a second later when popping his head in through the door.

You smiled. Sometimes it felt like he could read your mind and knew exactly what you secretly wanted.

‘’ I think I’ll be okay for now, but I will let you know if it changes, thank you. ‘’

He nodded and went downstairs again. You peeked around the corner and saw that he had started making food for the both of you.

‘’ Soobin? I have an idea, ‘’ you shouted to the first floor.

‘’ Yeah? What? ‘’

Feeling like you didn’t want to shout the whole thing, you made your way downstairs and tried to explain the sudden idea that had come to you.

‘’ Not even like fifteen minutes of rest here and you’re already thinking of another step in the plan, ‘’ Soobin shook his head as he flipped the food in the pan.

‘’ Sorry, ‘’ you mumbled, ‘’ I just feel on edge the whole time, I’ve told you this. ‘’

He hummed, ‘’ Okay, so what were you thinking about? ‘’

‘’ We already know the best way to get to them is when they’re alone, right? ‘’

‘’ Yeah? ‘’

‘’ Jake is the first person we should try doing that with. ‘’

‘’ Do what? ‘’

‘’ Well, invite here…alone. ‘’

‘’ Alone? Do you really think that’ll work though? He will just tell the others, and then there won’t be a conflict. ‘’

‘’ I’m not sure about that. He seems a bit more- territorial almost. When I was invited to a party at Jungwon’s house he seemed jealous when I talked about being theirs and not his alone. ‘’

‘’ Right…but he still told them about the time he went to your house. ‘’

You bit your lip.

‘’ Yeah, I guess so. Still, there might be a chance there. I just have to think through how to word it. ‘’

‘’ What about Sunoo? ‘’

Your head snapped up, ‘’ Oh shit! I had forgotten about him. ‘’

‘’ He was pretty kind last time you talked to him, willing to give information and stuff. ‘’

‘’ Yeah, but Sunghoon seemed like he was the one that was responsible for keeping him in line though. ‘’

‘’ If we make Sunoo come we can make Ni-ki come too since they are practically stuck together. ‘’

‘’ Jake is the main one though. The others have a lot of loyalty. ‘’

‘’ So does Jake, no? ‘’

‘’ I don’t know…I haven’t really seen that in him yet. ‘’

‘’ It’s worth a try, ‘’ Soobin shrugged.

You went quiet. While watching him lay the food on the two plates, you thought deeply about which route to take, which person to target, and which words to use.

‘’ Let’s eat first, enough thinking and worrying miss. ‘’

‘’ Okay, fine, ‘’ you grinned and sat down obediently just in time as he placed the plate down in front of you.

‘’ Thank you. ‘’

He hummed and sat down next to you. The silence that followed the scraping of the chair felt comfortable when it was Soobin you experienced it with. You both ate in that silence, probably due to your heads being filled with so many racing thoughts.

‘’ Do you want to watch a movie or something? ‘’ he asked when you were done.

‘’ Sure, ‘’ you followed him to the couch, zoning out while he put something on.

Your head almost hurt from how much you were thinking. Anxiety had infested your brain and alternated between obsessing over your bullies, the plan, and your dad and mom. Already predicting you wouldn’t be able to pay attention to the movie you laid a gentle hand on his arm.

‘’ Maybe we can just put on some…calm music instead? ‘’

He understood immediately like he usually did. After changing it and returning to the sofa, he moved further away to give you some space which you responded to with an appreciative smile.

‘’ I don’t think I can relax. ‘’

Soobin opened his eyes and put his head up to look at you. You had also leaned back against the cushions and closed your eyes, but weren’t as lucky as he was; no serenely rest was offered for you.

‘’ Do you want to do it then? ‘’ he asked after carefully thinking over what you said, ‘’ Invite them? ‘’

What you said next was something that almost made Soobin’s jaw drop, it was so unexpected of you and also downright crazy.

‘’ Yes, and if they won’t come willingly, we kidnap one of them. ‘’

*******

Twenty minutes later, the two of you were driving back to the city while you were on your phone texting. The easiest person to kidnap? Sunoo of course. Most likely he’d be near the gym where Ni-ki trained so you had to act very quickly.

But when going through the contact list you realized you didn’t even have his number. With a groan in frustration, your eyes scanned over the only numbers you had, Jungwon and Sunghoon - and well, also Jay since you had gone over to his house.

You assumed he got your number from the others, because one day he just texted you with his name and told you to add him. The others hadn’t done the same yet.

Jungwon was an immediate no, but would Sunghoon be willing to help you get to Sunoo? You didn’t have a good excuse for why you’d suddenly want his number.

‘’ We might have to go for Sunghoon. ‘’

‘’ Really? Is that the only option? ‘’

‘’ I didn’t even have Sunoo’s number. I thought I did. Seems they might’ve been strategic and not given everyone my number for a reason. ‘’

Soobin continued driving despite the lack of plans you had for when you’d eventually arrive. He went over the different people, weighing the pros and cons until he came to a suggestion.

‘’ You could ask Sunghoon where Jake is, or to get his number because you want to confront him about what he did. ‘’

‘’ Wouldn’t that bring them there too? ‘’

‘’ Maybe. It’s just the only thing I can think of. It’s definitely better than saying you want to apologize for your dad punching him and I don’t think Sunghoon would be very willing to budge. ‘’

‘’ Maybe, ‘’ you said mindlessly.

‘’ What about Yena then? ‘’

Your whole body stiffened. You hadn’t thought about her since you saw the phone.

‘’ Can’t, she’s locked up. We also don’t know why she had even contacted him in the first place. She could be on their side, ‘’ your voice had more edge to it than you had expected, making Soobin look at you wide-eyed.

‘’ You think she betrayed us? ‘’

You ticked your tongue, the annoyance and anger that had been brewing underneath the surface coming to light now.

‘’ I was wary of her in the beginning, ‘’ you huffed, ‘’ I can’t possibly come up with any other reasons for her texting him. It seemed- ‘’

‘’ Like she liked him? ‘’ Soobin filled in, sounding like he was in disbelief. His voice raised slightly without him meaning it to.

‘’ Exactly. ‘’

‘’ I think that’s too harsh, ‘’ he didn’t look like he agreed, ‘’ We shouldn’t jump to conclusions. We need to get her out before the guys have tightened the leash even more. ‘’

You rolled your eyes.

‘’ You wouldn’t understand how I feel anyway, you have never even been bullied! ‘’

With the two of you visibly getting irritated at each other it felt like the conversation had steered into an argument. Therefore you pressed your lips together and turned wordlessly to the window, only a dissatisfied grunt escaped from your mouth. Soobin looked at you rather disappointedly but then redirected his attention back on the road again.

It was clear that neither of you would change each other’s minds. Therefore, you went on your phone without consulting with him first, although you had listened and taken his suggestion into consideration. While going down the contact list yet again, you came up with a good idea.

You had to text Jungwon after all.

If you were in their shoes, texting the leader of the group would make you think that person wasn’t scheming; especially since Jungwon already knew how scared of him you were. To him and the rest of the group, it would seem illogical for you to text him if you were trying to trick them, because he would be the first to see through you.

9:45 pm

You: Hey

You: I don’t have Jake’s number

While you were typing the next message, an answer popped up.

Jungwon: Why do you need it?

You swallowed the nervosity you suddenly felt wash over you now that he was replying. Knowing the truth about him after today, you almost felt paranoid when you just thought about talking to him. What if he was analyzing your every word? What if he was watching you right now - following you everywhere and being one step ahead at all times?

You: I want to confront him about what he did

When you finally had the bravery to send the text, you almost had your heart in your throat as he replied just as quickly again. It felt like he was glued to his phone, waiting for your next move and maybe even amused at your behavior when texting; could he feel that you were anxious?

Jungwon: come over and I’ll tell you

It felt like a trap, especially considering Heeseung had mentioned a sleepover that would be coming up sometime soon.

You almost threw your phone and ranted to Soobin about how annoying and uncooperative Jugwon was being. In the end however, you bit your cheek and sighed, letting the awkward atmosphere from the disagreement continue.

The closer you got to the city, the more restless you felt. The phone hadn’t been picked up in a long time now; you had left him on read, surely making him seethe in anger.

But you didn’t care too much because you needed more time to gather your thoughts and scattered ideas.

Should you text Jay? You looked at the phone again - no, he was scaring you when you saw him earlier. Just Sunghoon left to try.

You: Sunghoon?

You had to make him feel special like you came to him first because you needed his help and no one else’s.

You: can you do me a favor?

Minutes passed with no response. You could feel Soobin glance at you every so often, eyes narrowing any time your head dipped down to your phone. The hands around the steering wheel had started clenching around it.

He wasn’t sure why you didn’t want to talk to him, he hadn’t said anything wrong after all. And the fact that you were so busy staring at your phone, eyes glued to it like you were in a trance - made him feel…

What did it make him feel, was that jealousy?

Soobin ran his hand through his hair and leaned his head against the arm that was resting on the window.

Jealousy?

He didn’t feel like he had the right to be. But, something about not knowing made him feel his stomach turn uncomfortably. What if you were flirting with them to get your way?

Even if that was a smart tactic it made him feel sick knowing they were enjoying it too much, maybe Jake would even-

He shook his head, trying to get the destructive thoughts out. They weren’t serving him any purpose except for making him miserable. He just wished you would talk to him.

The two of you now neared the parking lot where you met up with Yena. Soobin turned without warning and parked there, making you finally look up from your phone, having stared at it for minutes trying to figure out a response,

‘’ Why did you stop here? ‘’

He couldn’t stop the bitterness and irritation from showing in his tone.

‘’ You didn’t tell me anything so how was I supposed to know where to go? ‘’

You bit back your own need to be bitchy, ‘’ I’m sorry. ‘’

Soobin let out a deep sigh of relief, a huge burden had been lifted off his shoulders and a small smile shot to his lips, ‘’ I’m sorry too. But also…I got more pissed off by you not telling me anything, not just the disagreement. ‘’

‘’ I guess it was a good idea to park here then so we can go over the plan. ‘’

He turned off the car and turned to you, waiting for you to tell him what was going on.

‘’ Currently, Jungwon has been left on read- ‘’

‘’ Not smart, ‘’ he cut in.

‘’ And he’s not being cooperative at all. Like usual he’s just trying to make my life harder than it already is. So I texted Sunghoon but he’s taking a long time to respond. Also, if he’s with Jungwon he’ll probably give the same response as him. ‘’

‘’ Can I ask - is there any reason in particular you’re so adamant on making them come over? You haven’t even slept since everything went down this morning. Are you sure you’re okay? ‘’

‘’ What? Why wouldn’t I be? ‘’

Soobin grimaced and gave you a scolding look.

‘’ You know why, it’s not exactly something normal to cope with. ‘’

‘’ I’m not thinking about that right now because I don’t need to, ‘’ you snapped, biting down on your cheek when you realized the tone had come back.

He watched you silently.

‘’ Remember I told you I was scared they’d go for my parents? ‘’

‘’ Yeah? ‘’ his voice was laced with concern now.

‘’ They have, paid for my mom’s hospital bills so she could get treatment in a private hospital. ‘’

‘’ Did they have anything to do with it? ‘’

You frowned, ‘’ With what? ‘’

‘’ Well…she got bad so suddenly after being pretty stable. ‘’

You hadn’t even considered that possibility. You made a mental note to confront them about that sometime in the future.

Shrugging it off for the moment, you picked up your phone yet again and made sure to reply to Jungwon in case he’d do something bad.

10:01 pm

You: I’d rather die

He answered just as quickly yet again.

Jungwon: oh?

Jungwon: are you sure about that?

You ignored how it felt like your heart almost stopped. Clearing your throat you pressed on Sunghoon’s name instead, but this time you called him.

‘’ What do you want? ‘’ he picked up pretty fast.

‘’ Where’s Jake? ‘’

You thought it would sound less suspicious than asking for his number like you had with Jungwon.

‘’ Eh…why do you ask? ‘’

‘’ Just want to talk to him. ‘’

A chuckle could be heard from the other side of the line before it was cut off and another voice came on the phone, it was Heeseung.

‘’ Talk to him? Sweetheart, ‘’ he drawled, ‘’ You’ve done nothing but avoid us, and now you suddenly want to talk? ‘’

You swallowed thickly, ‘’ Yes.‘’

‘’ About? ‘’

‘’ What he did to me. ‘’

Heeseung hummed and seemed to think it over. You were about to say something again to catch his attention but it seemed Sunghoon was quicker than you. You assumed the phone was held far away from his mouth as he mumbled something to him.

Then the voice became clearer again when Sunghoon took the phone back and addressed you.

‘’ He’s at the gym Ni-ki and Sunoo train at. ‘’

‘’ Why? ‘’

‘’ They play baseball together sometimes, Sunoo isn’t really into sports so he just watches, ‘’ he answered, sounding a bit surprised by your curious question.

‘’ And where is it? ‘’

‘’ I’ll text you the address. See you soon. ‘’

He hung up on you.

‘’ What did he say? ‘’ Soobin immediately asked.

You saw the text come through at the top with the address like he had said. Turning to Soobin you answered him, ‘’ Not much. ‘’

‘’ Not much? ‘’

‘’ Sunghoon said Jake was at the gym Ni-ki trains at. ‘’

‘’ Alone? ‘’

‘’ No, Sunoo and Ni-ki are also there. ‘’

He cursed under his breath, ‘’ I can’t see how we’re going to take on three guys at the same time! ‘’

‘’ Or more…’’ you mumbled ominously.

‘’ More? What do you mean more? ‘’

‘’ He said he’ll see me soon, probably meaning he and the others will show up too since I’m going there. ‘’

Soobin leaned back against the seat and sighed.

‘’ I guess we have to leave now then before they get there. ‘’

He turned the car on suddenly and pressed on the accelerator. The car jerked forward causing your body to be pressed against the seatbelt.

Soobin ignored your cries for him to slow down, because it was just a race against the clock now.

*******

You arrived at the gym around ten minutes later. It was located outside of the city, meaning you hopefully had an advantage in the time it would take to get there.

From the car, you couldn’t see anyone outside. It was a large warehouse-turned-gym with barely any streetlights. Stepping out of the car however, you spotted a dock not too far away where workers seemed to be busy. They were the only ones around and didn’t pay any attention to you and Soobin.

Overall it was a pretty shady area; if you didn’t know Ni-ki and Sunoo’s background you’d question why a guy with such rich friends was going to a gym like that.

‘’ Let’s go. ‘’

Soobin insisted on walking in front, occasionally sticking his arms out protectively whenever he saw a car that looked like it was turning into the area. You tried to go in front of him but he would just pull you back behind him and shake his head determinedly.

‘’ Soobin, how about you wait outside instead? ‘’ you eventually said, feeling anger bubbling inside of you.

‘’ Okay…but I’m not waiting in the car! ‘’

‘’ Fine, ‘’ you rolled your eyes.

Pushing past him you were just about to open the entrance door when it swung open and Jake almost walked into you. Right before he hit you, his head snapped up, a genuine look of surprise adorning his features.

‘’ Y/n? What are you doing- how did you know I was here? ‘’

You and Soobin looked at each other. They hadn’t told him they were coming? Maybe they weren’t and had just said that to scare you. Or maybe…they were watching from the shadows.

‘’ It doesn’t matter, can you talk? ‘’

He shrugged, ‘’ I was going out for some fresh air anyway. ‘’

Soobin backed away to give you some space, you knew it would just tick Jake off if he saw him being near you.

You dragged Jake in between the gym and another warehouse. It wasn’t quite small enough to be called an alley so Soobin could still see you clearly from where he was standing and you didn’t feel as scared.

‘’ Please come with me, I know you want me for myself and you hate it when the others are near me! ‘’ you spat out immediately and then chewed on your lip, thinking you had been too direct.

His puppy eyes widened. He was a lot more surprised and taken back than you expected. Would he put up a fight instead of coming willingly? You had been so sure he would, with just a few words and nothing else.

‘’ Slow down! Are you in a hurry?

He seemed to have noticed your flickering gaze, alternating between glancing back at Soobin, the gym where Ni-ki and Sunoo were at, and even behind him to see if the others were approaching.

‘’ No- I, oh forget it. Just answer me, do you not want to have me all to yourself? ‘’

An amused smirk spread on his face. The tables had finally turned for him - now you were the one begging for his affection and attention. He remained silent, curious to see what else you’d say if he didn’t give in.

And you did continue speaking rapidly. You gave him the one thing he wanted - the most tempting offer to Jake.

‘’ I’ll…sleep with you. ‘’

It was like everything went quiet, both for you and Jake. Like the birds stopped singing out of distaste for you going against your morals to get that revenge you so desperately wanted; like the wind stopped howling out of disbelief and even like the cars in traffic stopped in their tracks.

‘’ Yes, ‘’ he said breathlessly.

You were already starting to regret it when you saw his eyes darken with lust only at the promise of such unholy things. Disgust flashed across your face before you hooked your arm under his and hurriedly brought him over to Soobin’s car.

‘’ Go! ‘’

He started the car and drove away in a flash, leaving Sunoo and Ni-ki who had stepped outside staring after the car with open mouths and worried expressions.

While driving onto the highway, you felt eyes on you from the front seat. Soobin was watching you silently, trying to read your expressions to figure out how you did it. Your face was blank, mirroring your thoughts as you felt empty and repulsed by yourself - so instead, his attention drifted to the one sitting next to you in the back of the car.

Immediately when their eyes met, Soobin’s stomach dropped. A feeling that something was wrong, off, or that you had done something he would disapprove of hit him. Jake faced him confidently, with a big grin, telling him that you couldn’t have threatened him much. What have you done?

*******

The atmosphere was weird when the three of you finally arrived at the cabin. After the whole silent car ride, you stepped into the house feeling more with every step that you were making a huge mistake.

‘’ We’ll talk alone for a bit, ‘’ you said to Soobin when you took Jake by the hand and started pulling him towards the staircase.

Hurt flashed across his features, but he only nodded and smiled, going off somewhere to wait and be blissfully unaware of what was likely about to go down.

You avoided looking at Jake on the way up, knowing what facial expression he’d likely wear. It wasn't until you closed the door behind you in a smaller bedroom that you did so at last.

He threw himself on the bed comfortably and his eyes watched you, full of anticipation.

‘’ First, you give me information, then- ‘’ you grimaced and had to look away.

‘’ Then you’ll give me what I want? ‘’

You nodded, throat too dry to say it out loud.

‘’ Yena, ‘’ that was the first thing you could think of asking him about.

‘’ What about her? ‘’ he scoffed with a smile on his face.

‘’ Did she betray me? Is she on your side? ‘’

It took some time before he answered. He was carefully reevaluating if this was actually a choice the rest of the group would be fine with. After all, he could lie about some things and say some truth; then he’d have you, and finally he’d text the guys his location so they could come.

It was too risky to text now though, so after making up his mind for the final time, he was ready to answer your questions.

‘’ She didn’t betray you. But it’s a long and complicated story. ‘’

‘’ Tell me. Everything. ‘’

‘’ Jungwon found out she had a crush on Sunghoon, so he convinced us to try and use that as leverage to get her to spy on you and get close to you. ‘’

‘’ But? ‘’

‘’ She found out about the bullying from eavesdropping and wanted to help the poor girl she heard her brother boast about torturing before even meeting you. That bitch was smarter than we expected, ‘’ he chuckled, ‘’ She pretended to have a crush on Sunghoon, it was never real. All she had to do was give him some looks and get all shy whenever he was at the house and it fooled her brother. ‘’

‘’ Did she hear them talking about using her? ‘’

‘’ Yeah, but even before that she predicted that they might try to. Everyone in Jungwon’s proximity has been forced to help in one way or another, Yena was always next on the list. Only, they hated each other so much that he needed to have some sort of blackmail or something to lure her with. ‘’

‘’ Lure her? ‘’

‘’ Sunghoon promised to date her if she helped us, ‘’

You didn’t answer, because you weren’t really sure how to respond.

‘’ To be honest, I’m not even sure she did it for you. Maybe she just thought it was the perfect opportunity to use the situation with you as a means to bring her brother down. But, I think after some time of being close to you she developed some compassion. ‘’

Your head hung as you felt shame wash over you. So Soobin had been right again. First, you relentlessly suspected him, and now Yena, the only two that have been the most willing to help you.

‘’ How did you find out she tricked you? ‘’

‘’ Most of our parents work at the company, she was stupid to think not a single worker wouldn’t recognize her and rapport it. ‘’

‘’ She was in disguise, kind of. ‘’

‘’ Not a very good one, was it? ‘’

You felt a sour taste in your mouth at the mocking. However, something far more important occupied your thoughts not long after.

‘’ What is going to happen to her then? ‘’

A half-smile appeared on his lips. ‘’ I don’t actually know. Whatever Jungwon sees fit. ‘’

Your eyes bulged and your mouth hung slightly open.

‘’ What no- don’t tell me. ‘’

His face was an answer in itself. You slumped down in defeat on the chair that was standing in the corner of the room.

‘’ Kill her? ‘’ you mumbled, voice shaky.

‘’ Anything else you want to know? ‘’ Jake continued unbotheredly.

You took some time to think of things, still processing everything else. It felt like it never ended, more and more information that was worse than the last kept piling up throughout the day.

‘’ Did you do something to my mom, ‘’ you carefully began, unsure halfway through the sentence if you wanted to finish it or not.

His eyes narrowed.

‘’ That made her need treatment? ‘’

Jake licked his lips, but his gaze didn’t waver when he responded, ‘’ Yeah. ‘’

‘’ Why? ‘’ you whispered.

Tears that hadn’t yet reached your eyes irritated your throat and made it feel like it was hard to speak.

‘’ Heeseung thought it was the best way to make you act, or come to us. ‘’

‘’ You’re so fucking…evil. ‘’

He didn’t flinch at the harsh words. Maybe he was used to hearing them. Staying on the bed, he kept his distance and gave you some space, not even bothering to try and console you.

Another question popped up when you started burying your face against your knees.

‘’ Are you going to hurt Soobin? ‘’

‘’ Do we have a reason to? ‘’ Jake stilled, ‘’ Do you like him? ‘’

It was easier to lie when he couldn’t see your face, quickly you shook your head.

‘’ Then maybe not, for now. ‘’

‘’ And Yeonjun? ‘’

An amused laugh broke from his lips.

‘’ Oh, that guy! ‘’ he dramatically burst out.

‘’ He won’t be a threat at all, he’s been locked up in his room for hours and refusing to come out. If he actually does at some point, he will be too emotional to do any real damage to us. ‘’

You were thinking of more questions to ask and raised your head to see if you could think of any if you looked at him. It was obvious he was getting impatient. His leg was bouncing up and down and he was partially glaring at you.

When you finally gave him your attention fully, he stood up. With every step that he got nearer, you tried to push yourself as far away as you could while sitting in that chair.

Two arms came down and rested on either sides of the chair, caging you in. You dreaded what would come next.

‘’ Y/n! ‘’

Soobin’s shriek made you jump out of your seat. It sounded serious. With Jake hot on your heel you ran down the stairs and found him in the hallway, looking out of the window next to the door.

‘’ Come, ‘’ he stepped aside so you could go up to the window, ‘’ Doesn’t that look like Sunghoon? ‘’

You practically pressed your face against the cold glass, desperately hoping it wasn’t true. But, just like Soobin had said, you saw a figure followed by one more moving closer and closer right to where you were.

‘’ Is the door locked? ‘’

The door abruptly swung open just then, making you and Soobin jump back while Jake’s face lit up with hope. You had missed one figure; the one who was much closer to the door than the others.

Through the door came your bullies, one after another except for Ni-ki, Sunoo, and Sunghoon.

Jungwon didn’t waste a second, he approached Jake and - plunged his fist deep into Jake’s abdomen which had him doubled over in pain, head thrown back in a silent scream. He clutched his stomach and slowly raised his head, on his face wasn’t anger but betrayal.

He moved and his hand slipped a bit, giving you a full view of where he had been hurt. You saw it first - blood. He wasn’t just punched, he was stabbed. The scarlet liquid trickled down onto the white Victorian carpet below, coloring it terrifyingly fast.

But despite that, he looked more psychologically in pain. Crystals of tears had started glossing his big eyes, which held so many unspoken words in them.

Jungwon looked at him blankly at first. Then when the blood had started seeping out and Jake had looked so terrified of him and caught by surprise, not being able to take his eyes off of the friend that betrayed him; he slowly stopped trying to hold back the sinister smile that wanted so badly to adorn his ruby red lips.

This is what you deserve, traitor, he thought, wondering if Jake knew him so well after all those years of being friends that he could see what he was thinking by just looking at him. It was hard of course. Eyes are the windows of the soul, but what if you don’t have one? Or rather, what if it is the soul of the devil?

Jake began shaking his head, digging his heels into the ground to be able to push himself back a little, creating very little distance between him and Jungwon. It amused the psycho, whose smile only grew wider, you think you’re safe?

‘’ I-I was-wasn’t going…to betray you, ‘’ Jake pushed out in between his ragged breaths.

He came closer, eliciting panic to flare up in Jake, making his eyes bulge. But he couldn’t push himself back anymore, he had hit the cabin’s wall behind him.

‘’ I don’t care. You came here only for selfish reasons, ignoring the pact we made, ‘’ Jungwon said sternly, the smile had disappeared. He looked furious now, all that hidden anger coming to the surface.

‘’ Jay got punished today too when he didn’t tell us about y/n coming over, didn’t you know about that? ‘’ Heeseung added.

Jay shifted uncomfortably in the background, he seemed to have a limp, but it was still nowhere near as bad as the punishment Jake recieved.

‘’ This isn’t the same as with Jay, ‘’ Jungwon started when he noticed Jake’s eyes wandering to him, ‘’ He told us he didn’t do anything with her, and we know out of everyone you would be more likely to. ‘’

Jake sniffled, ignoring how pathetic he looked to the others. He didn’t want to die yet, he was too young. No part of him understood how this happened - he just wanted his friends back, for them to tell him it was going to be okay and take him to the hospital before the time ran out.

His hands reached up to the crouched Jungwon’s legs, grabbing onto the fabric, ‘’ No, please…please don’t do this to me, ‘’ he let the tears he had fought so hard to keep in fall.

Jay stepped forward and Heeseung followed close behind. It was like you were invisible to them, completely uninvolved in the internal friend conflict that had happened. You and Soobin stood a few meters away.

Soobin, when seeing what had happened, pulled you into his arms and turned his body around so you were blocked from seeing your bullies. You cried, shaking against his chest while he tried his best to calm you by stroking your hair slowly.

His eyes were glued to the scene unfolding in front of him, listening closely to any cues that meant he should get you out of there. The words that were said sounded muffled to you. You weren’t sure if it was due to hearing your heart racing in your ears or being pressed so close to Soobin, either way it blocked out the voices.

You were brought back when you heard Jake’s distressed crying. They hurt Jay? You and Soobin should’ve probably expected that. Jake did tell them about the time he went to the apartment alone so you weren’t sure why you forgot that and assumed any action done alone by the members was completely fine.

Jake shook his head again. Beads of sweat had started to form on his pale forehead. The energy had very quickly drained out of him, likewise the blood that didn’t stop flowing down despite his efforts to put pressure on it with his hands.

‘’ I was going to-to call y-you after. ‘’

Pouring more salt into the wound of betrayal, the group stood up without neither saying another word to him or letting him speak. His cries became louder as his head fell down with a thump on the floor, desperate words begging for saving going ignored while he laid there. His tears mixed with his blood, but it was like he was a ghost to everyone.

Heeseung turned to Soobin who had almost forgotten he was there, so encaptivated and invested in what he was watching. He inhaled sharply through his teeth and stepped back further, forcing you to move. Your head snapped up when your feet seemed to have moved on their own.

You were so stunned when they came up to you and hooked their arms around Soobin, dragging him away that not a word left your mouth. Paralyzed you stared at them, feeling as if your limbs were unable to support your weight if you tried moving.

‘’ If you want him to live, come to the sleepover. We’ll give you three days. ‘’

With one last look at their friend on the floor, looking quite immobile now - the three of them walked out of the door, not once looking back at him. It was as if he had never existed to them at all.

*******

taglist; @peaceout97blog-blog, @ayadikreino, @beoms-sugar, @keikeu, @sunghoonnsupremacy, @lilyalone, @sweet-kisses-and-bloody-screams, @eunchaesmileyface, @nunugget, @seunns, @nshmrarki, @huening-ly, @espyluvsyou, @yncel, @loserwithnofriends, @enha-stan, @binchanluvrr, @ariek-divad, @obsessed1with1straykids, @yizhoutv, @taeyongzodiactwinkiri, @w3bqrl, @elleashn, @nuriicata, @yevene, @manasasugarbaby09

#enha the glory #yandere kpop #kpop yandere #yandere enha #yandere enhypen #enha x reader

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farfromstrange · 2 months ago

Text

Do No Harm

CHAPTER FOURTEEN: Broken Heart Syndrome

Masterlist | Series Masterlist

Pairing: Matt Murdock x F!Reader

Summary: After Matt stood you up at dinner, you are tossed down a rabbit hole of agonizing thoughts. As so often, you turn to the bottle to take the edge off, though this time, you make the decision to confront at least one of the objects of your anger. To your drunken mind, at least, even the worst decisions make sense.

Warnings for this chapter: ANGST, Heavy on the angst (18+), graphic descriptions of domestic violence (involving a belt, too), allusions to sexual assault, mentions of homicidal ideations, self-hatred, alcohol abuse (and everything that comes with it), argument between friends, Reader says some mean things, suicidal ideations/depression

Word Count: 4.9k

A/n: I'm sorry you had to wait so long for another chapter, but it took me a very long time to finish editing. There are parts in this chapter that hit very close to home, and I can't just post it without saying a thing or two. If you or anyone you know struggles with domestic violence, there are organizations that can help (check domesticshelters.org, for example). The same goes for mental illnesses; don't be afraid to seek out help if you start noticing symptoms. Check with your doctor or healthcare provider. There is absolutely no shame in asking for help. You've made it this far, and I am so incredibly proud of you. It was important to me to share that with you. Read at your own risk, please!

Read Chapter 14: Broken Heart Syndrome here on AO3!

In medical school, they teach you that a broken heart can quite literally kill you. Acute emotional distress can overstimulate the heart, causing the left ventricle to collapse. Takotsubo cardiomyopathy looks like Japanese takotsubo, an octopus trap. Still, those without medical expertise know it as Broken Heart Syndrome—because three words are all you need to understand what emotional hurt can do to the body.

A lot of the time though, the human psyche compels a person to find other ways to deal with the pain that eats away at them. Bad coping mechanisms can be just as deadly as a physical disorder. Self-harm doesn’t fix the actual problem, it only distracts your mind momentarily from what is truly hurting you.

Like with any other disease, a broken heart will get worse if it’s not treated. Either, the organ literally stops pumping blood as it should, or it drives you to a point that would easily get you a free 72-hour stay in the psych ward. Emotions are unpredictable like that.

As a doctor, you know everything in the human body is connected. If the body is sick, it will affect the mind; if the mind is sick, the body will suffer, too. Mental illness can be just as deadly as any terminal condition. If pain and trauma are not properly dealt with, chances are high that ignoring it won’t make you any better. And alcohol or drugs are never the solution to a problem, they only cause one problem to branch into a million more—and then you’re fucked.

You are aware that self-harm is the first thing a desperate person with a history of trauma will turn to, but it’s so much easier. In practice, life is fucking vile; it’s a miserable existence that is slowly killing all of us, and you would much rather burn the skin off your bones while you’re still alive than face the very demons you’re trying so hard to run from. You know that’s a sick mindset to have, and if it were anyone else confiding these thoughts in you, you would refer them to the Department of Psychiatry to get the help they need. But you… you cannot be helped. Not anymore. Because you don’t want to be helped. It’s all useless anyway.

The door to your apartment slams shut with a deafening crack of the hinges. As soon as the world is locked behind a deadbolt, and the city has disappeared, your back hits the wall.

A minute ago, he texted you. You prayed for an explanation to a God you don’t even believe in. You prayed that it would all make sense and your brain is spinning in nauseating circles for no reason. You just have to sober up and everything will be okay, you thought. But then you unlocked your phone with shaky and stupidly needy fingers, relying on a hope that stemmed from this childish need to be loved after the one parent you’d had left failed so miserably, and his words drilled into your brain like a sharp knife.

“You deserve better,” he texted. “I’m sorry.”

What a weak excuse. It’s supposed to be your choice, deciding what or what not you deserve. With one text, he took that from you.

It was stupid, you think, to get your hopes up. You were just starting to believe that you could finally move on. The weight on your chest felt less heavy with him there. Matt was never supposed to appear in your life, but then he did, and for the first time in a very long time, you felt like your life mattered again. He put a smile on your face. You don’t remember what it is like to be happy because you never really felt happy before. Since you can remember, you have been running for the sake of survival. Anything you have done up until now was a mere act of self-perseverance.

With Matt, it felt different. He understood you because he, too, seemed to be only existing, trapped in a cage of his trauma’s making.

You were dating again, albeit reluctantly and fighting back like a cat on steroids—but you were dating again. If you wanted your effort to mean something, you had to get over what happened. It’s not that easy, of course, but you believed her when she talked you down from the ledge.

You should have listened to your gut. Everyone in your life will eventually end up leaving or hurting you, or both. You’ve been rotting away for so long, there is nothing left of you to give. He touched your heart once, and now you’re falling apart.

Because there’s not enough of you there to love.

Because no one wants you.

You slide down the wood of your door. If only the floor could open up and swallow you, the pain that traps the oxygen just before your lungs could end. And if you could only cut out your amygdala or sever the connections in your prefrontal cortex to stop being this miserable about a man you barely knew, you would.

The tears running down your cheeks are silent. Dry. They taste like poison on your tongue, but your skin feels almost numb to the burn. You can’t scream or sob because there is no air for you to breathe. You’re drowning on dry land, and the rapid drumming of your heart echoing in your ears is the only sound that exists. It isn’t steady like a clock; it is a ticking time bomb in your chest threatening to explode—threatening to turn into an octopus trap and kill you.

There was never anything left to endure for. You have been torturing yourself every passing day like a fucking masochist, watching yourself on the big screen like a puppet without the intention to stop.

Icarus flew too close to the sun, but boy, you flew right into it. You would have made Matt the sun if he had stayed around for long enough, made yourself dependent on him all over again, and you would have drowned regardless. Maybe it was all for a reason; maybe Claire was right, after all, to push you to see the truth for yourself—how foolish you’d been—but why does that reason hurt so damn much? You barely knew him enough to care, and yet you did. It makes no sense.

You deserve better. If he truly believed that, he would have said it to your face.

The phone slips from your stiff hand before you can reply. Every muscle in your body strains, stretching over bone and lighting every cell and every nerve on fire. You can’t move. You’re sure you are going to die like this, a mess on your living room floor.

He broke your heart; Matt Murdock took it right out of your chest and smashed it up because you dared to want more. He wrapped his hands around your neck and suffocated you. He gave you hope, and then he took it away, and that is something you’re sure you will never be able to forgive. What kind of man doesn’t have the decency to tell the truth before it’s too late?

You tear at your dress, hoping to inflate your lungs somehow. The walls around you threaten to cave in. Everything seems larger than life, suddenly. Even with your hands stretched out before you, you can’t stop the avalanche.

This isn’t about Matt. It has never been about him. Cracks in the broken foundation of an already shattered heart don’t hurt as much as the first crash, they only add to the agony. How messed up do you have to be, you think, for your brain to not even notice the difference between getting stood up and having the ground ripped out from under your feet? You were never good at math, but perhaps you are the sum of your actions, after all.

A car honks outside. The bright headlights flash through the gaps in the blinds on the windows. You remember how they hit him one night, reflecting off the pure white of his dress shirt. His chest was heaving then.

“What the fuck were you thinking, huh?” he had bellowed, drowning out your repeated sorry’s like a tsunami wave. “You embarrassed me in front of… of everyone. My boss, the whole hospital—and you think ‘sorry’ is going to fix it?”

You can’t quite recall whether the lights were white that night, or if they were red and blue, and the only thing louder than his screams were the sirens of cop cars rushing by.

“You’re never gonna learn,” he’d said, crouching down before you, and he looked like what you would imagine the devil to look like if he were human. “You’re always going to screw up because you, my love, are absolutely and utterly fucking incompetent.”

On second thought, maybe there were sirens outside. They sounded different from your quiet sobs. He forced you to keep your eyes open, to watch as he undid his belt, and against every bone in your body, instead of running, you stayed rooted in place. You stayed there until he grabbed you and threw you into the coffee table.

The vase stayed intact, thankfully, as it tumbled and fell, but you could see your reflection clearly in the porcelain. You watched him come up behind you, and all you remember is how hollow you were; you were so fucking hollow your heart could have screamed and it only would have echoed before it would have died. You were bound—bound to him.

“Get up.”

You could have grabbed the vase and smashed him over the head with it.

“I said,” he repeated, “Get up.”

Your hand slipped from the porcelain, and you got up. It was like he knew you wouldn’t have the guts to kill him. Lord knows you wanted to; some days, you were so close to stealing a knife from the kitchen and slashing his throat while he was asleep. You’d watch him choke on his blood with a smile on your face, you thought, but as soon as the handle was in your hand, you realized that you couldn’t. Not even when you thought about the belt, the feeling of him on top of you as he took whatever the fuck he wanted from you over and over again until he drew blood.

It should have been enough to make you snap, all the abuse, but you physically couldn’t touch him. At first, you thought you loved him too much to hurt him. Your feelings were complicated and you were hardly aware of how dire your situation truly was, but eventually, you came to the realization that the inability to jab a knife into his jugular had a different reason entirely.

You had no money, no power, no life outside of him. He seized all of your income. You didn’t own a valid passport, a bank account, or a car. If you had killed him, you would have been a fugitive and a thief. If you had left him, you would have found yourself jobless and disgraced with nowhere to go. No friends, no family, no love. And so every time you wished him dead, the knife wandered back into the drawer. He owned you.

Toward the end of your relationship, you used to imagine the sirens were coming for you. If you had filed at least one report, maybe someone would have heard. Maybe they would have paid more attention to the cries for help from the neighboring apartment. Maybe then it would have never come this far.

The past can change your future, but you can’t go back in time and change the past. If we could, life would be so much easier.

You manage to crawl from the door to the couch where there’s a half-empty bottle of tequila hiding in a paper bag. You need to forget to remember how to breathe.

The burn of liquor blazes through your taste buds, taking them apart and putting them back together all the same. You choke on it when you try to swallow. Nothing has ever tasted quite this bad, but you can’t stop. The dull ache fills your chest, even if it’s just for a second, and you need more. You can’t stop because if you stop drinking and open your eyes, you will see his face again. It’s worse than dying; at least in death, there is peace.

You drink until the already half-empty bottle is empty, wiping the tequila from the corners of your mouth. You sniffle, you gasp for air, and you sob into the dead quiet of your apartment. Matt should not have the power to hurt you this badly.

The drunker you get, the more his face starts to blur. All faces start to blur.

“Stupid fucking idiot!” you curse under your breath as you storm into the kitchen, tearing through the liquor cabinet that used to be full but now resembles more of a black hole with stray bottles of vodka all around.

Drinking pure vodka is like pouring disinfectant directly onto an open, gushing wound. The only difference is that alcohol only works to kill off unwanted bacteria on the outside; it doesn’t exorcize the demons in your head.

Time keeps running, and the liquor keeps flowing, and you don’t remember which way is up anymore, you only know that it won’t stop fucking hurting. Fuck Claire, fuck Matt, and especially, fuck him. Fuck everyone and God and the whole fucking universe. You just can’t do it anymore.

The cold air hits your face when you stumble out of your apartment complex. Your brain is jumbled, and the world is turning a little too fast. All you know is that the walls were caving in on you, and your veins were swelling with the heat of fury—like you were drowning in your blood. Vodka makes you dumber, yes, but it also singles out one singular emotion for you to obsess over, and you won’t be able to rest until you get it all off your chest.

A cab pulls up to the curb. You only have a handful of cash, but it should be enough to get you where you want to be. No, where you have to be.

You catch your reflection in the rearview mirror, makeup smudged and reeking of alcohol and despair. What the driver must think of you—a lonely woman in the back of his cab with her hand clenched tightly around the bottle of maze in her bag, thinking she’s so subtle about how terrified she truly is underneath the mask of anger that drives her. You can never be too careful, never too mistrusting when there are men involved.

The car comes to a halt only ten minutes later. “Are you sure you should still be drinking?” the driver asks, nodding toward the liquor store across from you.

You scramble with the cash in your hands. “I’m not here to drink,” you manage to say. “I’m visiting a friend.” And you point upward to the dark windows above.

“Are you sure?”

“Yeah. Thanks.” You hand him the money. “Keep the, uh, change.”

He is about to protest, wanting to tell you that you overpaid and you might need to pay for a ride back, but you slam the door on him before he can get a word out. You don’t need a stranger to tell you what to do.

The curb feels unsteady under your feet, almost like the ground might open up and swallow you whole. When you eventually manage to find the door, you almost break the door as you force your way inside. The lock has been broken for quite some time, so a key isn’t required for entry, but there is something about the wood tonight that proves trickier to open.

Every step up the stairs knocks the air out of your tired lungs. It’s late, and rationally, you know you shouldn’t be here in your current state, but you’re angry and you’re drunk, and you want answers. At least for one of the many shitty things wrong with your life lately, you need to find a reason or you will continue sucking on the bottle of vodka until the lethal limit doesn’t exist anymore.

On the fourth floor then, you slump against the doorframe, utterly exhausted. Your head is spinning. Your stomach is churning. How many drinks you’ve had before you got here, you can’t even remember, but you are starting to feel the deadly concoction wanting to purchase a ticket for a ride through your esophagus.

You hammer your fist against the wood. Once, twice, even a third time. No answer. You try again, less gentle this time. Once, twice, a third, a fourth, and a fifth time, and then you lose count. You knock and knock and knock until your knuckles feel like splitting open, but you don’t stop—you use your palm, waiting for the creaking of the floorboards to tell you that someone, anyone, is home. If you could scream, you would have already, but your throat is burnt dry. You abuse the poor door until finally, you hit the air.

“What–” Claire stops halfway, her eyes falling upon your slouched frame. A meow sounds from inside the apartment. “Liv?” she asks. “What the hell are you doing here? It’s 2 am!”

You didn’t realize how late it has gotten, or how long you must have been crying and drinking and crying some more.

“What happened to you?”

She was asleep. You’ve been trying to call her for days, but here she is, perfectly healthy, wrapped in a robe that isn’t hers, and she has been asleep while you were losing your mind. You were hoping something happened to her, that she didn’t ghost you for no discernible reason, but from the looks of it, she did just that. Yes, she looks miserable with dark circles under her eyes and the room behind her a downright mess, but your mind refuses to be anything but irrational right now. The burning hot anger is back, coursing through your veins at a speed almost too much to handle.

“What happened to me?” you snap. “I’ve been trying to reach you for two fucking days, and you’re asking me what happened?”

“Shh!” Claire pulls you inside. The door slams shut behind her, much louder than your voice could ever be. “Jesus,” she says. “Quiet down.”

A pause. Under her gaze, you almost feel small. Scrutinized, even. “You smell like a fucking distillery,” she adds after a moment of just staring at you—staring as if she had any right to.

“That all you have to say?” Your mouth falls open in a snarl. “Well, fuck you, Claire! Fuck you!”

She flinches, your harsh tone leaving a sharp sting behind. “Okay, maybe we can just sit down and have a conversation like normal people.”

“Unbelievable,” you say. “Un-fucking-believable.”

Normal people. You don’t know what that word even means anymore. You don’t know what anything she says means. You look at her and all you see is alarms blaring in your head, warning you, screaming for you to run, but you are tethered to the ground in the very position you put yourself in.

She utters your name and your entire body recoils.

“Don’t call me that!” It is toe-curling how foreign the word sounds. Tears prick at the corners of your eyes, too, like acid raining from the sky. It burns; everything fucking burns. “You know, All I needed was my friend. I needed my friend and you weren’t there,” your voice cracks. “You told me I had to get back out there, and I did. ‘Cause you said it was the right thing to do. I believed you, Claire. I put on this stupid dress and these stupid heels and…” You sob, the memory rubbing salt in the open wound, “Matt fucking stood me up!”

Claire stops dead in her tracks. “What?” she asks.

You laugh through the tears, a sound of complete and utter desperation as you find yourself at a never-ending crossroads. You never learn, do you?

“He stood me up, okay?” you say. “I went to dinner, he didn’t show up, and then he texted me that we’re not gonna work out, so…” You throw your arms up. “I hope you’re happy. Whatever you were trying to achieve, it obviously worked. I trusted you, and I trusted him, and it kicked me in the ass. Fucking congratulations!”

It isn’t fair to blame her for his actions, by any means, but you’re just so angry. Your blood is boiling, turning into liquid as thick as tar, and it poisons you from the inside out. You want to scream at him; you want to scream at Matt and ask him why, fucking why did he do that? But you can’t bring yourself to text him, too drunk to make any rational decisions. The voice of reason in your head is a fuzzy, blurry mess. All you want is for this endless cycle of bullshit to end.

Cliare lowers her head. “I’m… I’m so sorry,” she says. “I– I never… I never wanted this to happen.”

Is that guilt you’re hearing?

“I swear I wasn’t ignoring you on purpose. I mean, if I’d known…”

“Save it,” you cut her off, every word from your mouth becoming increasingly slurred. “We both know you wouldn’t have come running ‘cause you clearly had more important things to do. I don’t even know who you are anymore. A few weeks ago, you wouldn’t have gone to bed without making sure I wasn’t dead in a ditch somewhere, and now you’re moving into some nurse’s apartment with a cat you’re allergic to, calling in sick and ghosting me. Me! I’m your best friend, for fuck’s sake, and you weren’t there!”

“I told you, I’m sorry. I had some shit going on, and I just couldn’t–”

You scoff. “You’re lying to me, again!”

“Please, Liv, you have to believe me,” she says. “I didn’t know this was gonna happen.”

“I don’t know what to believe anymore. I don’t…” Shaking your head, you tangle your fingers in your hair. You want to pull every last strand out one by one and feed them to the dogs, maybe that will give you your sanity back.

You hate not understanding. You hate not being able to read the person you thought you could trust. She swore she would never lie to you. What can you believe in if even her word is now hanging in the balance? You don’t know, and that’s something you hate, too—not knowing. The helplessness that comes with a dead end makes you want to cower in a corner, smaller than anyone has ever made you feel, and die.

Claire’s silence sounds like nails on a chalkboard. You swear you can hear your heartbeat, or maybe that’s your own. The blood is rushing in your ear. You’re standing on hollow ground, and it’s shaking—a ship lost at sea. You have to pinch yourself to stay alert. To stay awake. But the vodka in your system has already made you sick.

“Woah!” She catches you before you can stumble over your own feet.

Gravity is tilting your body toward the ground, but your body wants to rush toward the door. You have to run, you think. Why, you’re not sure, but you have to run.

“Hey,” Claire says. “Maybe you should sit down.”

You shrug her off. “Fuck you!”

She lifts her arms above her head, but it is not a motion of surrender. Far from it. She’s giving up and giving in to the anger that is creasing her brows.

“Well, fuck you, too!” She steps away from you. “You come here in the middle of the night, drunk off your ass, and you expect me to just take it? I’m sorry, but I’m not gonna indulge you. Not when you’re acting like a child.”

Your palm hovers above your churning stomach. “How dare you?” you snarl. “I’m not the one acting like a fucking toddler.”

“Have you ever considered that there are things I just can’t tell you? That sometimes, you just have to trust me? I never wanted you to get hurt,” she says. “After the other night, I figured you didn’t need me anymore. If that’s what you’re so mad about, sue me!”

“I did need you.”

It’s her turn to shake her head at you. “No, you didn’t. You decided to go on that date. You didn’t need me for that. But I didn’t…” She takes a deep breath, and her eyes remain guilty as sin. “I never wanted you to get humiliated like that.”

You are too drunk to process the implications of her cryptic statements. To you, they’re just a series of words on a very fuzzy billboard in your mind; you loathe what you’re hearing. Because you believe her, even though your better judgment is telling you to abandon ship. To jump into the ocean and let it take you away.

“Yeah, well,” you say, “I still did.”

Some scars never heal. Fresh ones tend to tear the ones that haven’t closed yet open, and then it hurts so much more.

Claire lowers her voice to a more mellow tone then. “I met a guy, okay? Like you, I met a guy, but he screwed things up for me and now I’m stuck here until shit has blown over. That’s why I’m hiding.” She sounds almost like the same woman she was a week ago. Before the world stopped turning.

“I wish I could tell you everything, but I’m trying to keep you safe,” she says. “I’ve always just wanted to keep you safe.”

“And how’s that turning out for us?”

She scoffs. “Not good, apparently.”

Your knees begin to buckle, unable to hold your weight any longer. Claire reaches out. “How much have you had to drink?”

“Fuck off!” you try to shrug her off again.

“How much?”

“Just… Tequila. Vodka. Half a bottle, quarter, I don’t know.”

“Jesus, Liv,” she says. “You’re insane.”

You roll your eyes. “Fuck you,” though the words hold a lot less power now.

“Would you stop? I get it. You’re mad. You don’t have to keep insulting me.” She gently guides you over to the couch. “You know, all I wanted was to do right by you, but I can’t be there all the time. Some things, I have to deal with by myself, and yes, I’m sorry for not being there, but I would’ve been if you really needed me.”

Claire reaches for your coat and pulls it off, much to your dismay. She ignores your scoff, anyway. “I would’ve dropped everything if you’d just called me tonight. You didn’t have to drink yourself into a coma to make your point.”

“I’m fine,” you protest.

You thought she was done helping you, but her good heart betrays her every time. It’s infuriating. You don’t want to be coddled. You don’t want to be treated like a patient—you’re not. You did this to yourself. The world is spinning. Your stomach feels like a pool of toxic waste, but you did this to yourself, and you’d rather lie in your misery than have her fix it.

When you try to rise to your feet though, all thoughts fade to black. Your ears start ringing. You blink, trying to get rid of the ocean that is flooding the world around you, but night quickly settles in. You can’t see.

“You’re not fine.” Claire pushes you back down. “You’re gonna sit down and you’re gonna let me help you.”

You open your mouth to make a snarky remark, but you’re starting to panic. The room is too dark. Your heart beats to the rhythm of mere milliseconds, and you swear you can taste it on your tongue.

“Do you want to turn into your father?”

The audacity, you think. The words sting worse than a thousand needles in your body. They sting worse than a headache. They sting worse than a knife to the fucking back.

You don’t want to turn into your father. You have never wanted anything less. You want to scream at her. You want to leave. You don’t want to be anywhere near here. But you’re paralyzed on Claire’s couch with her towering over you like the caring nurse she is, and you have nowhere to go. Your body has nowhere to go.

You did this to yourself.

She tests the pulse on your wrist, then again on your neck. Her voice is starting to fade into the background. The last thing you hear is her berating you for being “so fucking stupid” with the concern of a thousand armies before your thoughts entirely, finally, dissipate.

The world turns quiet as your body slacks, falling victim to the alcohol in your bloodstream, and it’s the most peaceful you have been in years.

Thinking nothing.

Being nothing.

You wish you could stay like that for the rest of your life. You don’t want to die, not really; you want to think nothing, be nothing, and just float for the rest of your life in a space where no one can ever touch you again. Where he doesn’t exist. Where you have no memory of your father, of the things he did to you. A space where not even Claire exists, and where you can pretend that Matt never stumbled into your godforsaken life, either.

You want to cease to exist. You want the world to end. You want to drown in alcohol until you can’t feel a thing anymore.

In the end, though, life is an endless, vicious cycle; no matter what you do, you won’t escape it until you’re dead—actually dead. And no amount of alcohol could ever change that.

Tag List: @shiorimakibawrites @allllium @siampie @auroraslibrary @roseallisonparker @abucketofweird @thatonegamefish @capylore @kniselle @sumo-b98 @peachstarliight @danzer8705 @kakamixo @littlehappyperson @atemydadforbreakfast @stevenknightmarc @zheezs14 @shouldbestudying41 @kiwwia-wiwwia @writtenbyred @echo-ethe @kezibear @peterbarnes @littleagxs @silas-aeiou

#matt murdock #matt murdock x reader #matt murdock x fem!reader #matt murdock x you #daredevil #daredevil x reader #matt murdock angst #tw: domestic violence #do no harm #charlie cox

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mewkwota · 17 days ago

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Kid Ica- sorry, Pit.

Oh neat. Finally we end this long session with this sweet boy. :>

Send Me a Character

And I will tell you my:

First impression I am one of the millions of people who only knew Pit from Smash. When Brawl's reveal trailer showed its face on Youtube, I recognized every single character. Every single one. Including Snake, especially Snake. But when I saw this kid I thought he was Roy for a second because of the sunset lighting on the Halberd. It took me a couple of seconds to register the name that popped up as someone I briefly saw in Melee. I think Mr. Sakurai knew what he was doing here.

Pit is, like, one of my most favorite characters. His design and character hit about all the right spots for me on my mental checklist. I had a huge thing for angels has a cringy tween, plus he had brown hair in this look which I preferred more, and the outfit certainly does say "this one can kick butt". Also ooh that weapon, how versatile!

But yeah, it was bad. I had an OC who I paired with Pit. And also who wouldn't wanna try on that look (I never did, but the wings would do, and the many times I'd spin sticks like he did his bow, bwaghh).

Even with all that, there was so little to him. I'd scrape around the Internet looking for whatever I could about the kid. And that's where I learned what Captain N was. So you can thank/blame Pit for getting me into Castlevania and (even more into Classic) Mega Man.

With whatever I could gather, along with Uprising's release, I had a reasonable idea as to who Pit was. He's cheery, adorable, and selfless. And I feel some of the other layers to his character that I've picked up also stem from his background as an overlooked retro character. I've discussed this aspect in a comic between him and Sora's addition to Smash. I can tell Mr. Sakurai wanted to give Pit something he didn't quite have, and I chose to translate this as the kiddo having quite the journey in making himself known. Very little by little, until that point in Smash where we know him now.

I'm not surprised if people also saw this like an "ugly swan" path.

Impression now I may be focusing more on his friends now, but Pit holds a very-very special place in my heart. Especially now that Uprising is a thing, and I have actually grown a li~ttle sour towards it.

I know some of the humor in that game can be itty witty silly banter, but sometimes the jokes at Pit's expense can get a little, uhh, old. I get it, he's a brainless chicken who only thinks about food whatever.

It isn't like he can't be a competent character and still be silly, but sometimes the general fanbase can conflate one side. A lot. Because it's funny, sure I understand. Even I like to give Pit his silly moments, but I'd hope it's seen as him being allowed to let loose with his friends, who don't see him as someone lesser-- despite being very prolific representatives in their homelands.

This part of Pit is such an interesting thing to explore. Pit is the captain of a goddess' army. I don't think it matters the size of the army themselves, as everything is dependent on the decisions of their leader. And he's quite skilled with a variety of weapons now that Uprising has implemented that to his person.

There are so many impressive little things that Pit can call his own, but then why would he still feel inferior. Maybe it's because that's how he grew up. I can see it in the context of his place as a random retro character, but also as "that tiny angel who can't fly". (And maybe also the near-constant belittling he gets from the ones above). So as much as he's shown to be so positive, there are definitely moments where those weaknesses are seen or implied.

Long story short, it's the little things here-n-there that I like about him. It also makes for interesting prompts to write about.

Favorite moment Am I able to pick one? Uhh, Pit randomly singing at the start of that one chapter is always gonna be cute. He does a lot of cute things. ^^;

Idea for a story Something about Pit and Rock's relationship in Captain N clicks with me. On the outside it doesn't seem like much aside from "the two little kids hanging around each other", but perhaps that's just me picking at the words they say while mixing in the biases I already have. As a result, I see it that Rock follows after Pit in everything, but Pit also views Rock highly. They both found something in each other.

See this super ancient comic about it here.

One comic I had simmering for decades was looking at the between the two's connection after the events of Captain N and reuniting in Smash 4. It would have been in Pit's perspective and done through several letters-- that he needed help writing.

Unpopular opinion I don't know what is unpopular.

I'm not a part of the KI fandom. I am a part of the Pit fandom, wah.

Favorite relationship *Shoves Captain N in your face once again*

Favorite headcanon Pit is concerningly humble. He has a lot of little talents up his sleeve, a lot of which were picked up with the various part-time things he'd volunteer to do, but he doesn't really make a big deal of them. Some were simply picked up from the duties he was expected to do, or of course, they're just things he can do (so why is that really important).

#I frantically type this out without totally proofreading ahh I tried #but it's donE! they're all done! ( ; O ; )#thank you again for your messages folks #I didn't think there was gonna be... that many #Asks #Ask Mew #thenewgamemaster-moved #kid icarus #pit #i have to go back and clean this up after editing-- the formatting on mobile ruined everything agghhh

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dearweirdme · 26 days ago

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https://www.tumblr.com/dearweirdme/765691014325452800/httpswwwtumblrcomdearweirdme7656128619764121

Hi Rain!

So here is how I see it (mostly my subjective speculations of course)

BSH had this troublemaker free spirit in his hands. On one hand, he knew what a huge and unique potential Tae had (as visual, character, artistry etc) so he couldn’t leave him out. But on the other hand, he knew that Tae would be the hardest to control. So what to do? He made sure to control him through the people Tae cares (his bandmates), treat him as an afterthought to beat his self confidence, make him feel like he is not needed but try to use him for your gain with the amount you want and all that manipulate games…

Tae shouldn’t be too front to shadow others but also intriguing enough to draw new audiences (it is well known and accepted that DNA was the breakthrough, a first step to worldwide success and guess who mostly caught new audiences eyes first?) so Tae has been a double edged sword since the beginning. His unique qualities and free spirit is what draw the audience but also make him difficult to control. Do you remember Tae’s birthday live when he was spoiling his songs and when staff reacted to that he said "what can company do? Fire me?" That was the self confidence that BSH was afraid of but well… :)

Imo, at the beginning, other guys tried to keep him under control but then they also (probably) realized all those control attempts were suffocating Tae and they were losing him anyway (hence his leaving attempts in 2018 and sugar’s letter to him and jk). I always think that Suga (especially) kept saying either 7 or 0 for the fans but also a message to company that they are all or nothing. Especially things changed when JK clearly stand on his side, imo, that changed the balance a LOT.

Once they (or most of them) backed him, BSH didn’t have much in his hands but manipulate him from outside… And because of his very good communication skils, that also didn’t work that well, imo. Because I remember many instances that can ended any idol’s career didn’t work on Tae at all (his smoking pictures, friend zoning fans from the get go, that airport scene when he reacted to stalker and lastly suing that woman with JK etc etc) He was seen as a disobedient rebel all along anyway, so in a way, this image saved him and bite BSH in the ass.

And Tae has been very smart in solo period, creating his own connections, making friends with important people in SK entertainment business as well as international brands (I think he didn’t have enough time to work on international part but I am sure he will after ms) he focused on entertainment shows to present himself directly to the audience as Kim Taehyung and it mostly worked. He is in the military and still on the news. And this Hybe situation is a mess and I know there is a manipulation operation on him to make him the bad guy but I don’t think it works. Any sane person can see that he has been a victim of the company and he stood his ground grounds.

Hi anon!

Sorry for having you wait for a reply for a couple of days (weird week, I wasn’t in the right headspace.. I’m fine now 😊). I’m gonna leave your thoughts here and just add my own, I think we find some overlap there.

I feel Bang Pd is a selfish and quite possibly an actual narcissistic person (though ofcourse it’s hard to diagnose). The way he inserts himself in footage, the way he uses members achievements to prop up himself, the abuse I think his artists go through. I think he’s ruthless. What you often see with narcissists, is how they will hate someone who takes away their sense of importance. I think, by Tae being Tae even at a young age, that’s what happened. I think Tae’s freespiritness and the way he carried him and just attracts attention might’ve irked Bang Pd early on. Him not having known Tae’s name for a year, to me feels like he wanted to make Tae feel small. The decision to have him be a hidden member, also made Tae feel small. I think he listened to his advisors and knew from a business perspective Tae is valuable, but he needed to mold him into someone he could just use. He probably wasn’t open about it, and he was probably even able to argue why he needed things to be the way they were, but I wouldn’t be surprised to see some personal dislike there at all. It’s total speculation from my side, but I think Tae played to Bang Pd’s insecurities just by being himself… and that’s why Tae never got the full spotlight. It can’t be his lack of talent, it can’t be his personality, it can’t be his working ethics.. so yeah.. I’m putting my money on it being unfair.

Now I think all members have had their own issues that they had to deal with. The music industry is an environment that I think causes hurt in many different ways (body image issues, eating disorders, anxiety, depression, mental abuse, physical abuse, forced substance abuse, lack of medical care, homophobia, closeting, forced plastic surgery, and the list goes on and on). I’m not saying all members went to any of these things, but I also think it’s naive to think only Tae has suffered from the hands of the company… and I just wanted to shine a light on that as well. We don’t know what goes on behind doors and we cannot know all the different waya the members have suffered. We ofcourse focus on Tae and Jk, but Tae and Jk are just a part of BTS and it’s absolutely realistic in my eyes that they as a band had to have all of their backs at some point. I think for instance that a lot of Jk’s care and concern towards Jm comes from Jk knowing when Jm has it tough (a different kind of tough, but tough nonetheless). I think they all know how tough Namjoon had it and they made attempts to, if only momentarily, lighten the load for him. I do think at one point they decided it’s 7 or nothing.. and imo that moment was probably heightened at the 2018 talks. I don’t think it was just Tae and Jk who were considering leaving, but probably several of them on different levels of seriousness. I do think there was a whole different level of concern and doubt present with Tae and Jk. For them signing on again meant having to keep hiding for the length of their new contract. That’s not an easy thing to sign on for, but them loving what they do (performing) and wanting a long career, knowing the other members have their backs must’ve made up their minds for them.

I’ve seen discussion on the other members having let the company abuse and neglect Tae, and I was saddened by that. Because, it goes against what Tae himself does. He signed on again for the members. I think that statement to some maybe doesn’t carry the weight it should. Imo it doesn’t mean that Tae signed on because he felt he owed it to them. Had he not genuinely felt they have his back and has he himself felt they leave him at the mercy of the company.. he would have left them. Because even though he has no say in some things, I do believe the power to resign lies with him and I think him capable of making good decisions for himself. I think the members make Tae feel like it’s worth it. I think they build him up, they comfort him, they value him, they make him feel like he belongs. That’s what they all do for each other.

As to Tae and Jk, I think most likely they suffered in equal but different ways. Not only would they be affected by what the other goes through, but both of them have had to hide and do things to keep hidden. Both of them have felt the same pressure and, though in different ways, Jk has also been used by the company. We talk about Tae being a free spirit, but I think Jk is also one. Jk isn’t able to fully Jk as much as Tae isn’t able to fully Tae. Jk’s music might’ve been pushed by the company in ways that Tae will never be, but his achievements have been taken and used for Bang Pd’s benefit. They talk about him as if he’s their creation. Jk’s insecurities about why people love him, don’t just come from nowhere. He’s been made to believe he has to fit a mold. I think the members all flocked around them, because they actually know and love them both and because they recognize (all of them, because they themselves are in it too) how wrong the company is.

I think the company’s main goal and interest lies in BTS as a group. I think these solo projects have been hugely used to keep fandom interest up (as has Taennie, as has Ays) and they fully want to collect every last drop of money they can before BTS goes on hiatus or whatever form they take on after reunion. They probably already suspect which members will sign on individually and which won’t.. which might explain the different levels of company push.

I probably went all kind of ways here (always fun to see my adhd reflected in my writing 🙈). There’s so much more to say, because it’s not a simple situation at all. There’s probably things at play none of us can even imagine.

#taekook #tae #members

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indigoraven · 1 month ago

Text

Back from the cinema. Thoughts (Spoilers!!) under the cut, do not expect any particular order to these things

First of, I liked it. More than the second one I think.

Everything with venom and Eddie was fun, they had a lot of goofy moments together that I liked. The dance sequence was so stupid but I loved it. (I will not think about how venoms decision there made 0 sense in the way it was presented)

The lab scenes fell very flat for me. I wanted to care but didn't. Maybe because we already had a lot of disappointing lab scenes in the first films and these ones didn't really add anything. I just don't think these movies make the scientific part of the sybiotes very fun to watch which is why I don't understand why they insist on using them. The lab design was kinda fun with the lights? But still felt very boring in general.

The monster design was great, actually a huge fan of the wood chipper thing and how visceral it feels. They actually commited and had someone lose their legs as well which I feel like we don't see a lot of? Its usually just down right death.

And the "road trip part" was cool too. I actually like the family quite a bit but I probably would have written them in a slightly different way, especially at the end. And the entire thing where venom takes different forms was really nice, I wish we could have seen more of that.

I didn't honestly expect any explicit romance and I like the sort of implied thing they have going on. I am still pissed about it though. Solely because the marketing was so heavily focused on symbrock. Which then makes me feel like it was all queerbaiting. I would not think so otherwise because at that point it would have just been queer coding. But the entire thing leaves a bad taste in my mouth standing as it is.

I also liked the two scientists having a sort of romance going on, all that hand holding was very cute on top of the way they interacted. I just wish I would have cared about them even more. But the movie didn't exactly give a lot besides a few small pieces here and there. Maybe they will come up in future projects though. Otherwise the end would be kinda pointless.

The ending is basically the best I could have hoped for given the plot. It just didn't give me the gut punch I was hoping for. I don't know what I would have changed to make it feel more earned right now but maybe I will come up with something at some point. Maybe part of it is that we now know that, canonically, venom was on earth for only a year. That feels like too little time for such a huge comic character. And I'm sorry but the slide show at the end made it feel even cheaper. That's something you can do after 8 seasons of a show. Not after three movies without actually comminting to anything concrete in their relationship AND telling us like 30minutes before that it has "only" been a year.

There are also some plotholes that annoy me (or things that weren'r explained). especially because most of them wouldn't have needed to exist if they went about it a bit differently but the way they did things, stuff just doesn't make sense.

I guess I'll just go back to the comics now

#venom #venom 3 #venom the last dance #venom the last dance spoilers

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10yrsyart · 2 years ago

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“Restitution: an act of restoring, or a condition of being restored”

None of us are perfect and so all of us have broken God’s Law. Good deeds can’t erase wrongs, just as you can’t recapture words that have left your mouth. But God loved us so much that He provided the payment for our sins instead. “He cancelled the record of the charges against us and took it away by nailing it to the cross.” (Colossians 2:14)

Just as these people had a choice to accept the offer of legal freedom, we also have the choice to accept Jesus’ payment for us, and His freedom. “For God has rescued us from the kingdom of darkness and transferred us into the Kingdom of His dear Son, who purchased our freedom and forgave our sins.” (Colossians 1:13-14)

Don’t rely on the good things you do as a ticket to Heaven. Only perfection is allowed into God’s home. Which is why Jesus, who lived a perfect life and died in our place, is the only way to be made perfect in God’s eyes. His righteousness covers us when we believe. A third option isn’t there; you either live with Him or live separated from Him forever. Believe in Jesus and accept His offer of payment and eternal life, for He loved you enough to pay it all so you can live. 💙

“For the wages of sin is death, but the free gift of God is eternal life through Christ Jesus our Lord.” (Romans 6:23)

transcript:

Judge: You three have been charged with embezzlement, grand theft, and resisted arrest. You have two options. The first: A prison sentence that will continue until you have payed the entire sum of money that was lost. The second is provided by this gentleman here. He has offered to pay your bail in full, which I will accept as restitution, and your record will be wiped. Make your decisions now please.

Red Man: Who the heck is this guy, talking like he owns the place? These charges are totally unfair.

Blue Woman: What were you expecting? We did break the law.

Red Man: So our choices are living it up in prison or being indebted to this rich goody goody? I'm not accepting that. I don't need him. Where's the third option?

Purple Woman: I don't need a bail out either, I've done a lot of charity work. I'm sure there's a balance there somewhere.. You just have to wheedle the judge a little.

Blue Woman: Are you listening to yourself?-

Judge: Have you made your decisions?

Red Man: Yeah, I refuse! Who made it a crime to borrow a lil' money here and there? It's a free country, ain't it? Actually, it's a crime to discriminate against me like this!

Judge: So you have chosen the first option. I am truly sorry to hear this, Sir. Very well, officers, if you would-

Red Man: Hey, get your hands off me!

Judge: And you, ma'am?

Purple Woman: You see, Judge, I've worked with many nonprofits and charities over the years. They can vouch for me! I'm not really a bad person, this was just a little lapse in judgment, that's all.

Judge: I'm afraid it doesn't matter how many good works you've done, ma'am. The law is still the law, and you've broken it. If you do not accept the pardon you've been offered, you must accept the consequences of your actions.

Purple Woman: Let go of me! I don't deserve this-

Judge: What about you, ma'am?

Blue Woman: ..I'd like to accept this man's generous offer. But, if I may.. Why do you trust him to follow through? It's a rather large price...

Judge: Wonderful, a good question! I have seen his work and I trust his integrity explicitly. For you see- He is my Son.

Yeshua: Congratulations!

Blue Woman: Thankyou.. Thankyou so much! How can I ever repay you?!

Yeshua: I don't want your payment, I'm satisfied that you're free.

Blue Woman: But why?

Yeshua: Let's take a walk together for a bit and get to know each other. I'm doing something quite exciting, and I want you to be a part of it.

#christianity #Jesus Christ #God #religion #religious art #the bible #Bible Verses #heaven #salvation #faithstuff #faith #apologetics #digital comic #comics #my art

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ryuichirou · 3 months ago

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AzuIde Marriage AU replies

A couple of replies related to the comic we posted yesterday + a reply for a pretty old ask from back when we posted the comic on Ko-Fi! Since the comic is finally edited properly and posted here, I can actually write a proper reply.

Thank you for your patience, and thanks to everyone for your interest!

Anonymous asked:

Can I just say how much I adore your design for adult azul? It just hits all the marks, the round glasses with chain? Yes! White suit? Yes! Hairstyle? fucking yes!

Thank you so much, Anon!!

Round glasses work super well with Azul’s face, he looks like even more of a villain somehow lol So I love making him wear those. And I am such a sucker for horrible people wearing white suits (it’s like a trauma from my Yami no Matsuei days). I am very happy you like this design for Azul!

In-universe though, I think Azul is very careful with what he wears and how he accessorses himself, so every one of his decisions is very intentional.

Anonymous asked:

Is Azul still going to be mad at Idia when they get home? Will he dole out punishment?

Partially replied here, as well as gave some more explanation about what actually happened (there isn’t much though because the story is very vague), and I’ll repost that explanation just in case! <3

Here is what I can say for certain: after being separated from Idia for quite a long time, Azul is going to kind of take care of him, as in “it’s okay, you’ve suffered enough” kind of way; but Idia is smart enough to know that this is just Azul trying to make Idia rely on him again, so he could shut the cage door and trap him once and for all. Azul is also very good at victimblaming, manipulating and gaslighting + has will-power that Idia doesn’t always have, so even if Idia knows that Azul’s kindness isn’t genuine (Azul never forgets those who betray him), he is powerless to change anything at this point. He just wants him and Ortho to be safe, and Ortho wants it too. So even though Ortho technically could blast Azul and the Tweels’ asses, Azul is perfectly aware of this risk, so he uses a different approach on Ortho. After all, Ortho is a smart boy + he and Azul have the same goal: they want Idia to be happy, right? It’s easier to do it while working together instead of fighting!

Anyways, Azul scary and powerful, and at this point in the story he has a lot of useful connections including STYX and probably even Idia’s parents. A lot more strings to manipulate the events in a way that would portray him as a forgiving and loving saint, but still ensure that Idia never leaves him again.

And after this position is secured, then he might start punishing Idia. But in a way that is very subtle to everyone around them, but painfully obvious for Idia.

So a TL;DR answer would be: yes, Azul is still mad, but he won’t punish him right away. He’ll act like a sweet and caring husband for a while (Idia won’t buy that bs), and when he gets tired of that act, he’ll start punishing Idia in a sneaky way.

As for what kind of punishment it would be…

Anonymous asked:

I remember the general punishments Azul would dish out to Idia from the original dark headcanons post but in a recent post, you said that when Azul punishes Idia in this case it would be in a way that no one would notice. Do you have any headcanons about these punishments? 😀

(Once again, sorry for the wait, Anon!)

I do have some thoughts! But when it comes to these kinds of scenario, it’s a bit difficult to come up with headcanons because I feel like no matter what I come up with, Azul would’ve came up with something more cunning, more sinister, more subtle and more cruel. So take whatever I’m about to write and keep in mind that it could be x3 times worse lol Azul is very bad when he feels rejected.

Azul would control the entire narrative of what has happened between them. He would play his cards in a way that would make everyone believe that Idia left him seemingly out of nowhere, and that this is just Idia causing trouble due to being bad at interacting with people. He will even manage to fool S.T.Y.X. people and their ex-classmates into thinking that yeah, Azul is notoriously pretty sleazy and cunning, but he seems to be genuinely in love with Idia: ever since that accident he’s been all over him, protecting him, taking care of him, even skipping work (!!!) to be with him. “Maybe even Azul has a heart, who would’ve thought”, “I guess it really was Idia’s mess-up…”, “He is such a good husband, Idia needs to appreciate him more”…

At the same time, Azul would defend Idia in front of all these people whenever someone would even hint at Idia hurting Azul’s feelings. He would insist that Idia is completely forgiven, and that it would be incredibly petty to worry about this little thing when he almost lost him. Azul might even say that the Universe has given them a second chance, and that this time Azul will make everything right just so Idia doesn’t feel the need to run from him anymore. What an angel you are, Azul Ashengrotto! Idia would feel like he is losing his mind hearing these conversations. It would be overwhelming and so horribly isolating, he’d feel like he can’t talk to anyone about anything anymore. His social anxiety would actually become way worse.

And yet, Azul would force him to come out more often. Together, of course. He would walk with him (Idia wouldn’t be able to walk properly by himself for a couple of months during his recovery), bring him to events (“You are probably very bored and lonely, let’s visit our friends at [company name], shall we?”). Not only it would make Idia see a huge swarm of people discussing his every move, he would constantly feel eyes on him because Azul would become more clingy in public. He would constantly hold his hand and kiss it, kiss his face and lips, bring him closer while hugging his shoulders, etc. PDA was never Azul’s style, but now it feels like he is showcasing their love to everyone and cementing their status as a hopeful young couple that is together against all odds. This would make all the social pressure on Idia absolutely unbearable. It feels like a walk of shame…

It’s not like the situation at home would be any better, mind you. Azul being sweet with Idia would make him feel even more anxious because it’s one thing to act all nice in front of people to save face, but when they’re all alone, it feels like Azul is preparing something, something big and horrible, and Idia would feel this anticipation so vividly every second around him. Azul would just smile and say that Idia is being paranoid and overly suspicious of him, and that it’s actually very hurtful. Azul would barely hide his smile because he hasn’t done anything yet, and Idia already looks like a caged animal with fear in his eyes. He wants him to marinate in this fear more, even if it breaks his psyche completely.

Azul would start gaslighting Idia into thinking that his health is declining, both mental and physical. He would act very protective and caring, he’ll even manage to make Idia believe that he is genuinely scared for his well-being at some point. The amount of unnecessary potions and drugs he would make Idia consume both sneakily and openly is insane. He might even do that toxic husband thing and pay a therapist to make them tell him everything Idia was talking about to them during the session… if he managed to make Ortho make Idia go to the therapist, that is (no way he’d manage to make Idia go himself).

He would guilt-trip Idia a lot. Even though Idia doesn’t love him, Azul would still manage to make him feel bad for leaving Azul like this. Even if Idia knows that Azul is playing games with him, he would feel guilty all the time, but this isn’t even the worst thing. What is much worse is that sometimes Azul just sighs and goes “I didn’t want it to bring this up because I know how bad it is for you, but…” and drops the bomb about Idia putting Ortho in danger again. Blaming Idia for harming Ortho (intentionally being vague, knowing that it would reopen old wounds) is another thing that Azul would never usually do, but right now he’s spiteful, angry and genuinely wants to hurt Idia as much as he can. Even if Idia doesn’t care about Azul and wants to run away again, would it really be the best move for Ortho? He barely survived the accident, after all.

Idia isn’t the only person Azul would guilt-trip. He would also guilt-trip Ortho who feels very responsible for everything that’s happened to Idia. He would’ve easily sensed that Azul is lying, but it seems that even a machine could be messed with if the most important person in its life is hurt. Like I mentioned in another reply, Azul would make Ortho feel like they want the same thing and should work together. Of course Ortho would feel like he is betraying Idia in a way, but he would still cooperate because of his guilt + feeling that giving Azul full access to everything that Idia does online would make Idia more safe and happier somehow.

#replies #headcanons #azuide #azuidi #azuide marriage au #our aus

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bugcatcherkit · 3 months ago

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do you have shou mom hc or anything like that? I was looking at the bingo cards and wondered about your thoughts

kind of YES! I'm making another list. I don't know if you mean the entire Broad Range of what a HC is, or something specific. So these will be random thoughts I think about her.

This isn't really a HC and more explaining and/or expanding her canon personality traits. But alongside her headstrongness, I think she can be impulsive. Like, rushes into things she shouldn't but she becomes wholeheartedly committed anyway. Which isn't to say she's naive -- she knows exactly what she's getting into, she just thinks she can handle more than she actually can. Like someone else I know..

Also anybody else notice her strong need to make a huge impact on somebody else's life. She chose the Worst Guy ever with full intent that she alone could Fix Him (didn't even wait to see if she could). I think she wants the validation that her words, efforts, and convictions alone can make the world (and other people) a little better overall. It's just interesting that she could possibly seek a Big Goal through relationships themselves instead of at the expense of them.

Does anybody else think about how she was the only person outside of Claw who knew about it. Her ex literally got someone murdered and she couldn't do anything about it or go to anyone (because who's going to believe that? Especially when she doesn't have any evidence). And she had to live with it for years. Probably isolating as hell !!!! Especially because we don't know what her support system outside of her family was, if she even had an extensive one.

I imagine she tends to feel bad about things very easily, specifically her own actions/inaction, and how that effects other people. Like a responsibility thing, even though most things are out of her control. Her knowing when she needs to quit doesn't quite stop her feeling bad for doing so (and also I don't think she learned her own limits until That Argument, so she's like "what if I did More". It's part of I think she's always asking about Toichiro and planned to visit him with Shou -- she wanted to try again. This is Alongside her concern for him).

OKAY I am going to rant about the abandonment thing again because I keep seeing it still. Grabs everyone by the shoulders. There are so many reasons that she did not take Shou with her. Since (in the context of the argument) her leaving seems like a split-second decision, she probably did not have the proper resources to support him immediately after she left. By the time she got something figured she literally couldn’t get custody. AND I hope nobody forgot that Toichiro used Shou as leverage against her and that was why he cut contact between them entirely (or he thought he did). But they stayed in contact anyway!!!!!!!! They called and visited!!!! People get so distracted with the "abandonment" part that they overlook any potential complicated feelings that probably exist on both sides. Because those are very normal to have with a situation like that!!! For example, her leaving did not have the effect she thought it would (make Toichiro see his mistakes), and she has to consider that! But, at the time, she had run out of things to do or say, and it wouldn't have mattered anyway because the whole point was that Toichiro refused to listen to her or consider her feelings or Accept Change at all. Can anybody hear me??? So sorry to put this rant here when all you wanted was some headcanons

FUCK THAT GOT LONG. That's not even HC that's just character analysis I think? I don’t know anything. I'm actually bad at HCs guys. IDK what characters do in their spare time I just hyper-analyze their thoughts and motivations and ideals. Here's some actual HC maybe?

post-divorce she doesn't get her own place for a while (she is Unsure of what her next steps are and has a LOT to consider) but when she does it's quite small and cozy. Though, it only develops a Homely feel when Shou starts visiting. It becomes more personalized after that, I guess? Does that make sense.

She seems like the type to have a collection of trinkets that are One specific animal. She's got like 50 little porcelain bears sitting on a shelf somewhere or something.

she has one of those ugly little dogs with the crusty eyes. And she saw him at the shelter and he was so old and sad that she almost cried, so she had to take him home.

She is big on manners. Constantly scolding Shou for his lack of them when he moves in with her finally

also she's got the same bluntness and genuineness that Tsubomi has, I think. Actually she has a lot in common with Tsubomi. They are shaking hands. Committed to the people they care about but don't sacrifice their true selves for anything. Etc.

LET HER HAVE A LITTLE GARDEN!!!!!!! She'd love it. She'd talk to her plants to help them grow.

I want to give her a name but I haven't been able to settle on one. Very sad. Hopefully soon?

this feels like me saying a whole lot of nothing. I guess I couldn't get too deep into things because at that point it would feel like I'm inventing a totally different character (because she does not exist in the narrative outside of Narrative Device). Maybe she needs it though. but I fear i cannot do Mob Psycho like ONE can....

#this took way longer than I thought to write out... so sorry anon. I may have gotten too into it #asks #mp100 #dgheh #my art #would you guys believe that i still have more thoughts. i just couldn't remember them all to put them in #also I feel like I’m majorly overlooking something important but I can’t think of it. if anyone catches it please let me know

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katyspersonal · 4 months ago

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Character Dynamic for Midra and Nanaya.

Do all of them. >:)

ALL of them? OKAY THIS is going to be a fat one so I am keeping it under cut! This is for the character dynamic ask meme ( x ) *knacks my cruckles*

🌹 Who's the flirty one and who gets shy and flustered?

I think at the beginning of relationship, he was the flirtier one, and he sure knew just what sweet lines to say seeing everything for its true worth, including flaws! She used to get flustered a lot while romance was still new. Further into relationship though, this side of Nanaya truly blossomed and she became more confident and bold about it! Midra, on the other hand, became more exhausted and nervous. Constant harassment, often very dangerous, by Inquisitors. But even in the safety of his own manse he became the type to skip sleeps and be too focused on research, that made him very stressed and no longer initiating flirting. It was then up to Nanaya to flirt him into relaxing for once, and she was good at it!

🥣 Who is more skilled in the kitchen?

It feels to me like they are both equally good at cooking, and both love doing it! The catch is that they prefer different foods XD However, this is not the case of each cooking for themselves or one who cooks deciding everything; they compromise and accommodate! For example, Nanaya who likes spicy food that Midra doesn't will cook a less-spicy portion for him! Midra not wanting to burn his insides certainly has aged sfdjhfdhss

🚘 Who is/would be the better driver and who is the passenger?

Midra would be the most responsible driver, letting Nanaya to just chill and stare in the window! Nanaya, on the other hand.....

sdjhdfhs Sorry, Yukari driving was the first thing I thought of XD Nanaya is the reasonable one in relationship, but for some reason I feel like her "dark side" would come up in things like driving or competitive sports! Granted, she does neither of these in canon setting xddd

🔥 Who has the temper and who keeps a cool head?

Again, aside of funny hypothetical scenarios like the one above, they are both quite reasonable people. Midra IS the one more likely to let bad things truly get under his skin and start to think of drastic decisions where Nanaya would ground him, but he still needs prolonger exposure to the negative factor to start 'losing it'. Not just talking the Obvious Thing, it is just his personality in general! Him crossing his psychological limit begins with twitching a bit and rambling to himself, basically ignoring the other person present and spiralling into reflecting on the past through very negative lense and talking about what he will do. So yeah, the good thing about how he experiences losing temper is that there is enough time to figure out what he is going to do and take precautions or plan how to help him. He is like volcano that started to smoke and will only erupt in a while, not like sudden explosion! With Nanaya, though... Good luck making her lose temper. Even her anger will be cold.

🍊 Who likes sweet foods and who goes for salty snacks?

Neither of them likes sweets much! Having like a pair of cookies once a week is Midra's final form. Nanaya would appreciate salty snacks though! Do not let her anywhere modern AUs, it will be a LOT of chips and doritos everywhere x)

📙 Who would be the tutor and who would need the tutoring?

Midra is literally called sage and 90% of his Manse is just books, so I am pretty sure he would primarily be a tutor for anyone, not just Nanaya :p At the same time, I would not say he is that perfect wise man archetype; if the subject is not very interesting to him, he will struggle to give it proper focus and respect! Might even sulk a little and claim it 'pointless', even despite needing to be educated on any topics! Nanaya doesn't have this problem though, and had he "insulted" a certain field she would definitely find a right approach to get him invested. Don't let anyone know Midra can be biased with fields of learning too though, this is not an impression he wants to make and he is not proud of that trait!

☀️ Who is more outdoorsy and who prefers to stay inside?

Midra used to enjoy being outside and observe nature, from clouds and sunsets to tiniest insects on the flowers, until he didn't. Nanaya on the other hand was the one loving to stay inside more, and also the type to shield the room with curtains to make it dark even at the sunny day! x) Again, they switched habits when Midra became reclusive if not depressed, so Nanaya both felt like at least one of them should go outside and needed to go outside sometimes to escape the tension and think. Sometimes it did come off as passive aggression if Midra refused to go take a breathe with her, where she'd say that sure, she'll be the only one to still remember what the outside looks like..

🔒 Who's more guarded with their secrets and who is better at sharing them?

In my interpretation of the story, Midra certainly managed to do significant acting behind Nanaya's back until it was too late, so there is that... The story aside, he is not naturally a liar type at all, but he is guarded and needs some help opening up. Nanaya knew how to make him feel safe talking about what is bothering him or troublesome past. She is not that ideal therapist wife of course, but she could tell he'd benefit from venting at all, and she'd still try to help (practically more than with wise words. wise words are his thing. :p)

At the same time, her own secrets do not weight her down much but they are "uncovered" at her getting too into discussion and blurting out too much information. And her """dark secrets""" were innocent, like kinks she'd be shy about or really embarrassing memory, so Midra would get her to elaborate by teasing her XD Basically, both need a push to open up, and both know how to help each other with it.

🍋 Who is more likely to be in a sour mood on a bad day? (Bonus: how does the other one handle that?)

Midra IS the type to get really sour! He will not be outright toxic, except maybe very far late into his character arc, but he will be gloomy and say something bitter about things and people that didn't deserve this. Not about Nanaya though, bitter remarks towards her would just be auto-aggression about how she needed to do something better than to waste time on miserable old man. Again, depending on the severity of his reason to be upset she would either flirt him into cuddles or sex to help him to relax, or just hold him and make him feel safe enough to cry and thus, again, waste stress and feel better. (letting him fall sleep in her arms afterwards of course)

🦠 Who is messy and who says "damn you live like this?"

Midra is VERY messy! He doesn't clean his dishes, leaves his books everywhere, doesn't make the bed and usually his clothing either has a spot he never noticed or worn on the wrong side! He has many servants that would clean his own mess and not just wipe the dust or clean the floor etc, but very selfishly prefers Nanaya to handle the "personal" chores and not those servants. It is because she has a natural 'feeling' for how he'd like objects arranged... And if she is feeling tired or sick, he proves he is not that helpless; their rooms don't devolve into trash pile and he keeps them tidy. It is just both being unfocused and selfish.

✅️ Who cares more about being right and winning the argument?

They both care about figuring out the truth and not "winning"! If anything, whenever one beats another in the argument, another feels delighted with how smart their spouse is! I'd say they like losing these! But only with each other; losing an argument to someone else would make them feel frustrated and mentally punch themselves to get more insightful.

🍀 Who is luckier and who was born under a bad star? Do either of them believe in luck?

Midra typically believed himself to be unlucky for life since young age! Yeah he always felt like none of his efforts would avail him anything despite always struggling, that only either luck or turning to supernatural powers could eventually get him anywhere. Long history of having his efforts crashed by bad people or factors he had no control over......

^^^ me @ Midra right now lmao fdshfhdsfsd

You can see that culminating in him turning to seek Three Fingers to solve the problems with him and his allies being shunned from the start.. However, at some point in life, that mindset was seriously alleviated by meeting Nanaya to begin with! As far as he could tell, there was no luck or fate or magic at play in why she fell in love with him too, so!

Nanaya, on the other hand, was hopeful and the 'it too shall pass' person, but for the first time in her life she felt like she HAS been cursed... by having married him. It was after he did the Lord of Frenzied Flame attempt, that also cost them their baby. I would say it is a very justified point of breaking and being angry and heartbroken, yeah.

🗨 Who is chattier and who defaults to silence?

Midra is generally introverted, only getting more talkative about topics especially fascinating to him or with Nanaya in general! He likes to offer advice, but it is also exhausting. Nanaya does most of the talking with people! Well, she used to, before they stopped communicating with the outside world much due to Inquisitors getting worse. In a more happy, healthy, more social life, she'd be the social butterfly that can finally stay silent with Midra, whereas he'd generally keep mysterious and quiet but spill his heart out to her!

🦋 Who looks for magic in the everyday and ordinary and who needs it pointed out to them?

In the setting where magic IS real and everywhere, it is hard to say XD More vaguely speaking, both are stargazers and romantics, and same logic applies; first it was Midra who helped Nanaya to find joy and wonder in every leaf, later down the line she became the one to make him swim out of the depths of despair and appreciate the joys of nature and world for once. I am thinking about how their relationship developed in their entirety, and it makes me emotional how he once was helping her and then she started to help him in the similar ways ;-; Too bad in the end it availed to nothing because Miyazaki hates hope and good endings fdsjsfdhfgsd But:

🎇 Who is more impulsive and who is more careful? Does the careful one help keep the impulsive one grounded?

The answer from 🔥 ask applies here too; Midra doesn't 'explode', aside of the obvious succumbing to Frenzied Flame, but he can and will get a bad idea into his head when pushed past the limit of his patience and telegraph it for long enough so others take caution or plan how to stop him! Nanaya doesn't do impulsive decisions and is the more reasonable one, except for the obvious drastic reaction when he didn't listen about turning back on the Frenzied Flame research.

🎶 Who is more musical? (Bonus: can they play instruments or sing?)

Nanaya is drums and wind instrument type, she loves them and knows how to play them well! I do not remember whether key instruments are in Elden Ring setting, please remind me if there are because my memory is scattered! My point is, Midra gives me the vibe of someone who would try to study piano as tool of "intellectuals" to focus and relax but who didn't find much enjoyment in them after all. However, he'd be a natural at string instruments and enjoy them a lot!

Nanaya is very sweet and good at singing lullabies, but hopeless at singing just songs, especially on public! Her hearing evaporates when it is not a personal, intimate context XD She also hums melodies to herself often while doing anything. Midra is certainly not a singer himself, but enjoys listening to songs and writing down the lyrics and notes to stock at the library. He collects them!! While burning his library, Inquisitors had damaged quite a collection of folk songs.

🪀 Who's more playful and who is more serious? (Bonus: does the playful one ever get the serious one to join them?)

One is playful when another is sulking or embarrassed and vice-versa! They naturally react at their partner to cheer them up and/or get them to open up about something! Midra does this rarer of course, like I said before it mostly comes up if Nanaya accidentally exposed something awkward and it is far too late for her to take it back x) Nanaya though, has more energy and so to say "talent" at lightening up the mood, but that trait truly developed in this relationship. She always had this spark in her, just no people worthy of it before she met Midra.

😈 Who is naughtier? Either in the bedroom or by breaking the law, etc.

Nanaya is absolutely more naughty sexually, both with behaviour and with having more energy! She could catch him by surprise during him doing other stuff and he enjoys it. She takes initiative in sexual activities! However, from time to time, she happens to want to try something she is shy about.. and in these cases, Midra not only gets 'naughty' but has to get so to convince her to "elaborate" xD Besides, seeing her shy about these things is such a rare but adorable sight that he has a field day when it happens!

The for sure broke the law by researching Frenzied Flame for a while, although Nanaya was the one to understand when it was no longer a right risk to take. Midra would be the one having the idea to "break the law", they'd go through it together despite her doubts, but Nanaya would be the one to know where to stop or cancel the plan.

💕 Who is more romantic? (Bonus: how do they express it?)

Poetry and compliments and sweet dreamy plans and romantic gestures are Midra's element by default! He was no longer giving much of that attention down the line as dread, anxiety and depression were siphoning away his health even without any FF. Nanaya was less consistent about it and more on receiving side, but further in married life started to organise candlelit dinners or making sex more 'special'. Again: matter of finding a person worthy of showing this side to! She is also the type to have rare spurs of inspiration to write poems for him, but she doesn't like her writing and will probably eat the paper sheet if Midra points out she has something for him XDDD The main difference I guess is that Midra is consistently romantic as long as his mental health allows, whereas Nanaya makes 'surprises' when mood takes her!

🎀 Who has more talents/hobbies? Does the other ever feel insecure about this?

In a better and healthier setting, Nanaya would be the type to learn a new skill from time to time for sure! She likes trying out new things and keep the skill rather than ditching the interest in a week too. Could be learning how to paint, could be learning how to build a cabinet x) For now her specialities are sewing and embrodery (created her outfit by herself) + learning new recipes. But, again, given enough time and stability, she'd end up learning enough skills to barely need servants anymore XDDD

Midra is the bookish, educated man, with skills mostly connected to that! He WAS the flowers and garden man though, absolutely! Had they had a farm (and, again, been in a better setting), he would be hard to drag away from it. He would be THE cottagecore man x) Would observe insects and birds too + take pictures in modern AU. He admires how Nanaya's interests and aspirations are more varied but can't follow on 80% of them. She, at the same time, is absolutely not a kind of wife that feels the need to get her husband involved in every new interest, she understands and is content with him just listening!

🌸 Who is more likely to make the decisions in a high pressure situation? Does the other one like to follow their leadership?

Both! It pretty much depends who is faster at taking initiative for a decision under pressure! Midra's decisions under high pressure are more drastic, but if he is faster at commanding them, Nanaya will nervously swallow and listen instead of instantly arguing. She will soon get a grip and try to calm him down of course. But if she is faster at telling what to do, he will follow her lead. She is calmer and seems to plan ahead well even in highly stressful situations! Just needs to snatch the lead position first before Midra humbled her with his rare moment of assertiveness.

______________________

Okay that was fun!! I did not even realise how much of a clear mental image I had of them before answering this ask meme, so thank you for bringing out that part of my headcanons XD Honestly, their relationship feels very healthy... like if the one thing that ruined it WAS messing with Frenzied Flame. Nothing else would've ruined it otherwise, no conflicts and no Midra's descent into depression. They balance each other so well. No wonder this ship is so likeable, I felt like it was writing ITSELF this whole post!!

#elden ring #ask replies #elden ring headcanons #midra lord of frenzied flame #nanaya #sage midra #midranaya

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