#sorbet and gelato scenario

[shineonyoucrazyyandere]

Hi! How about a hcs with a gender neutral reader that gets turned into a cat temporarily by a stand, how would la squadra react?

Have a nice day :>

Sure! I’ll go character by character on this one

Yandere! La Squadra w/ gn! Darling turned into a cat by a stand

Risotto - *bat bat bat* He hears the soft sound of something messing around with his hat (he takes it off every so often aside from showers and sleeping). There’s immediate suspicion as he goes to investigate, finding a cat rather than you mesmerized by the golden baubles that spelled his name. Doesn’t take long for the leader himself to put two and two together that you are the cat. Considering he makes sure you won’t escape whatsoever any other time.

It’s hard to tell but his eyes soften slightly from amusement of cat you playing with his hat. He’ll likely pick you up, expression hardening at a potential stand user looming around. He’ll immediately order the rest of the group to be on high alert and track down the user. As cute as you were in cat form, he was not amused by this little trick no matter how harmless it seemed.

Formaggio - manages to squeeze a crude joke, makes a casual comment of how cute you were like that. How he’d love to spend time with you being like that more, while scratching under your chin. He observes if your full on cat, which seems to be the case. Doesn’t mean he won’t be constantly bringing up how willingly you allowed him to pet you, when you revert back later.

Illuso - Amused you were turned into a cat of all things, he’d love to have alone time with you in his mirror world without disturbance. Just an hour or two of holding you close to him. He wouldn’t lie he would have extra satisfaction of bashing the stand users face in from turning you into a cat. Though before that he snaps a picture with a camera of you in cat form for later usage.

Melone - coos and fawns over you the second he sets eyes on you. Even in cat form you seem to be fairly stiff around him, and he absolutely notes every behavior like a decent scientist would. Light touches and pets down the back, and he doesn’t flinch if you decide to try and scratch. You can be certain he’ll be calling you kitten or similar cat nicknames when you revert. Not to mention maybe receiving cat related clothing or other items.

Ghiaccio - In typical fashion he’s more irate that somehow someone got passed them enough to do something to you. He might pet you a bit while ranting how he’s likely going to freeze the user solid if he narrows down where they are. He does think you’re cute in all honesty, he’s simply pissed a slip up on his part or his team caused this headache. The scene is mildly amusing as he continues his rant and pets your soft fur. He’ll likely mention how cute you were with a smirk when he calms down and you’re back to normal.

Prosciutto - As obnoxious as Ghiaccio’s yelling could be, he’s also aggravated at this massive oversight. He definitely ends up approaching to pet you, knowing full well he’ll have to take care of any fur that gets on his suit later. He notes the color of your eyes in cat formed more observationally than anything. Coaxes you to come closer, while side eyeing Pesci who seems giddy at you being a cat. It’s cute but he wants you in human form back as a soon as possible.

Pesci - He’s pretty much over the moon upon seeing you, but trying to keep it to a lower level so he doesn’t end up being poked fun at. Or alternatively being slightly reprimanded by Prosciutto for losing composure when an enemy could be in the vicinity. He has all sorts of thoughts of using one of those mouse toys with you. The man’s pretty much squeaking internally at how cute you were all while giving you some nice head pats. Though he would diligently help eliminate the perpetrator when it came down to it.

Sorbet and Gelato - both of them are pretty fond of the attitude of cats, and they both laugh that you were turned into one of all things. They’ll likely make fun of the user for such a ridiculous strategy, even if they’re nowhere near around. All taking turns holding you, noting how helpless you were not that it made a difference being human either. They both figure out where you like being pet almost immediately, and of course maybe weaponize it against you later like some of the other members of La Squadra.

[wri0thesley]

when i am self-shipping there are some characters i cannot self-ship with unless i imagine them being so weird and yandere about me. this is different to characters like diluc or wriothesley where i obviously daydream about yandere scenarios too but i have ocs/inserts who have what is mostly a fairly healthy romantic relationship with . . . but some of them are just always fucked up and yandere and weird about me.

characters i am capable of imagining healthy loving self-ship relationships with: diluc, wriothesley, gepard, nanami, kaveh,

characters who are just always a little bit fucked up and weird about me and that's sexy: prosciutto, diavolo, sorbet and gelato, mahito, overhaul, dottore, dainsleif, pantalone, pierro, capitano, luocha, sunday

[tubbypeddle]

Hiiii can I get a scenario for la squadra x femreader who just graduated because that's what I just didddddddd ✨️✨️✨️

ABSOLUTELY!!!! also congratulations on graduating!! what a wonderful accomplishment 🫂✨✨

La Squadra x fem!reader, graduation day!!

i apologize if this isn't what u meant 🤧

(author's note: i only have experience with american schooling, so that's what it'll be based off of 🙏)

-they are so proud of you!!! you did it!! you made it to graduation day!!

-Risotto pays for your grad party, even though you insist he doesn't need to. which is nonsense, you worked so hard just to get here, you deserve to be celebrated.

-Melone cheers the loudest when you walk the stage. He'd been your main tutor, being the only one other than Gelato who had a diploma from a higher education than just high school. And really, he was the better option. You don't want Gelato being your tutor...

-Lucky you don't have to worry about that anymore 🤷‍♀️ (unless ur considering university, in which case...good luck)

-Formaggio gives you the biggest hug when he sees you after the walking the stage bit. and he has...candy leis? where did he even get these?

-Ghiaccio is the one who drives you and your friends around for the carpool. He doesn't tell you because he's embarrassed to admit it, but this is his way of congratulating you without being tok obvious about it. Plus, you look so happy to be celebrating your day with your school friends.

-Prosciutto pretends he isn't proud, and that this is just a normal event, but you can catch him wiping tears away with his handkerchief..

-Pesci is not afraid to openly cry, contrary to his brother. He's screaming your name so loud, he nearly outshines Melone. He also has candy leis for you.

-Sorbet and Gelato look every bit like the proud parents they are, squeezing you between them, greeting your friends who graduated alongside you similarly.

[icerisotto]

Hi do you think you could write about la squadra and a new teammate who’s quiet and reserved majority of the time but one day they catch them laughing their asses off at one of formaggios really bad stupid jokes?

‹ honestly, i've imagined two scenarios this request: la squadra under diavolo's reign and la squadra under giorno's reign.

‹ it may look inaccurate regarding the gw timeline, but i'm using my headcanon timeline (which can be seen here) in which sorbet and gelato actually died in mid-2000.

‹ with that being said, double scenario!

⌦ warnings: gender-neutral character, mentions of death, mentions of depression, referenced violence, non-canon information, canon events.

➢ scenario one (diavolo).

☆ sorbet and gelato's death impacted the group in every single way it could. it blew their confidence, ruined their already-strained relationship with the boss, and brought shame to their name.

★ as a way to make sure they weren't trying to plot against him again, diavolo assigned a newbie to the team to halt any attempt of betrayal weeks later. a young, reserved and quiet person, enough to unnerve any traitor.

☆ it worked, as la squadra felt too uncomfortable around the newbie to make any other move. some of them even theorized that the newbie was sent to supervise them. naturally, their discomfort turned into hatred very quickly.

★ prosciutto deliberately hated the newbie because of their mysterious personality, even though he tried to keep his cool to preserve his image as the second-in-command. he'd never talk to them aside from missions, and would constantly use training or punishments to take his anger and frustrations on the newcomer.

☆ ghiaccio also openly hated the newbie and believed them to be a spy of the boss. he wasn't afraid of beating the shit out of the newbie if they ever cross his path or boundaries (something extremely easy to do, considering his mood swings). as a fellow, ghiaccio hardly acknowledged the presence of the stranger.

★ pesci is a gentle guy but loyal to his brother. when he realized prosciutto despised the newbie, he automatically avoided being seen talking to them. it didn't mean he was rude or cold like the others: he was willing to welcome the newbie instead of distrusting them over something they had no say in, giving them knitted gifts and food behind the others' backs.

☆ illuso knew how it felt to be hated by his teammates, especially because of his rough start in la squadra. he still decided to ignore the newbie's presence, much like ghiaccio but without the violence part. he simply distrusted them and refused to be friends with them, sometimes walking out of the room or into the mirror world whenever the newbie showed up.

★ risotto welcomed the newbie normally but lacked warmth due to his friends' deaths. he couldn't embrace the newbie as a true part of the team and only stepped up for them in extreme cases. in general, the capo kept his distance from the newbie and barely talked to them outside their working hours.

☆ formaggio was the closest friend of sorbet and gelato, almost a third party of their couple. he was miserable once the lovers died to the point he almost died of depression. a newbie wasn't what he wanted, not in the slightest. at first, he was hesitant and even resented the newcomer, but he soon overcame his grief and returned to his normal self. he's the only one to treat the newbie like a friend.

★ melone was neutral. while he also was very close to sorbet and gelato, he knew it'd be stupid to lash out at someone who was a mere pawn of diavolo's wicked plans. he was skilled enough to detect any malice in someone, so his suspicions died down after a few months. of course, he still kept his distance just for the sake of his friends' feelings.

☆ la squadra started changing their minds after a year went by without any incident. the newbie proved to be a strong-minded person, not giving up or cracking even though they went through many incidents and violent outbursts caused by the team.

★ some of them regretted their behaviors, some didn't. however, they all agreed the newbie wasn't trying to betray the team nor represented any risks, thus being worthy of their trust and decent treatment.

☆ the newbie was always accompanied by formaggio ever since their arrival as he was the only welcoming member of the team. they were extreme opposites: while the newbie barely talked, formaggio kept the mood bright.

★ during a celebration among passione members, everyone gathered at the bar as formaggio told them one of his silly, overused jokes. at that point, 2/3 of the team was drunk.

☆ formaggio's joke was interrupted by a cackle. everyone was surprised to hear the newbie's laughter for the first time, as they always looked neutral 24/7. some of them could recall hearing a similar sound at midnight when walking down the hallways, but who could think the newbie was responsible for that?

★ formaggio bragged about making the newbie show their soft side, happy to be the one to achieve this. pesci and melone laughed, illuso sneered, while prosciutto and ghiaccio were visibly surprised (although they pretended to not care). risotto remained stoic with a hint of a smile, secretly enjoying seeing his friends bonding.

☆ it still took them a lot of time to accept the newbie completely, but they were embraced after a long period. even though la squadra still felt hesitant around the newcomer, the display of humanity eased their minds. finally, they were ready to move on and let go of their grudges.

➢ scenario two (giorno).

☆ la squadra was livid once diavolo died. having a teenager controlling the mafia was concerning at first, but giorno's management deeply pleased them. they got raises and territories, all they ever asked for.

★ however, after cutting their main income (drugs), passione struggled to keep their balance. as a new alternative, giorno split the drug division and sent their members to other teams. that's how la squadra gets a newbie after so long.

☆ at first, prosciutto didn't appreciate the new member. he was stressed enough with five idiots under his belt, so another one was hell. however, he felt less grumpy once he came to realize the newbie was reserved and silent, something he appreciated. generally, he made small talk always related to work.

★ ghiaccio hated the idea since the beginning and vocalized his dissatisfaction very often. again, he'd throw hands if he ever felt disrespected or cornered. he still kept his distance once he realized the newbie was nothing like the others. they looked annoying in his eyes.

☆ pesci felt excited by the arrival of a new friend, that is until they met. serious people scared him, so he started avoiding the newbie much like he did with risotto, illuso, and ghiaccio in the past. prosciutto and risotto's serious face was enough for him, he didn't need anyone else scaring him (even if not on purpose). it took him a while to get used to their personality.

★ illuso didn't care much. he felt a little pissed about the disruption of their team dynamic at first but quickly overcame it once the newbie proved to be a decent asset instead of a crybaby or loser. in general, he didn't initiate any dialogue and felt relieved the newbie was reserved.

☆ risotto was secretly happy about the newbie's personality. from the hardheaded (illuso and prosciutto) to the silly (formaggio), weird (melone), coward (pesci), and violent (ghiaccio) members, every entry on the team was probation to the capo. he almost knelt and thanked god once he met the newbie, appreciating their reserved behavior. in general, the capo treated them like he'd treat the others.

★ once formaggio met the newbie, his new goal was to make them crack. he wanted to be friends with them and share nice moments. it became a full goal of his, and he'd spend 100% of his time chasing the newcomer everywhere they went while trying to squeeze a single smile out of them.

☆ melone, much like formaggio, became intrigued with the newbie's cold facade. he and personal space were enemies. he wanted to decode every inch of the newcomer's personality, often asking them personal questions to no avail. he cherished every nugget of information he got.

★ by the second or third month, everyone got used to the newbie's presence. some of them still felt hesitant around them but had some respect. pesci, melone and formaggio were the ones who actively befriended the newbie, even though they were stiff and quiet.

☆ somehow, the newbie accepted an invitation to play poker with la squadra after formaggio begged on his knees for them to join the game. even prosciutto got forced to participate by risotto.

★ a few empty bottles later, the game got serious and the bets started. melone had lost a bet and had to remove his shirt, revealing a so-then-hidden tattoo. it looked botched and silly. as formaggio made a nasty joke about it, the newbie snorted.

☆ all eyes were on them, as everyone felt genuinely surprised to see the newbie laughing so hard over such a silly joke. it was the first time they ever saw their teeth. tears of joy slid down their face, mostly because of how intoxicated they were.

★ even though they agreed not to make the newbie feel ashamed about that incident nor comment on it later, la squadra felt more comfortable about befriending them after realizing they only needed a little hand to be likable.

[ask-la-squadra]

Hey everyone,

Taking inspiration from one of my favourite blogs @ask-team-bucciarati I am starting this page.

Ran by @pannac0ttafug0

Disclaimers:

- There is a lot less canon info for La Squadra's members so this is going to be very headcanon based, if people submit scenarios or ideas that I like I will use those too

- I am a very busy person so I will try to be as frequent as possible however I attend university and work and try to maintain a steady social life so please forgive me in advance, I will try to answer every possible ask but forgive me if some of them take a while

- I am basing this on them all being alive and only 'defeated' in the canon rather than killed, after Giorno assumes position as Don, they are rehired as a hitman team, also Gelato and Sorbet are still alive

Anyway I will probably add to this as time goes on, my limits are anything heavily NSFW as I'd like this blog to be accessible for minors too and I'd feel uncomfortable posting that kind of thing on here, if you're unsure of that limit, submit anyway, and if your ask isn't posted you know why :) (Thirsting and jokes are allowed just nothing too explicit)

Anything that is in the original media (mention of sex, condoms, swearing, drugs etc) is allowed however if it gets too explicit I wont answer since I don't want to make it more NSFW than the original. For example, drugs are mentioned but mostly in a bad way and therefore I will not be posting about drugs in a positive light (besides cigs, alcohol, and weed). I hope this makes sense.

[rae-pss]

I know la squadra's shared s/o is kept a secret within Passione for their safety, but one day some lower member caught them with the group or one of them.

This lead to them getting kidnapped for revenge or flirting with them cause they're all jealous on how the most despised team in Passione get to share a s/o

— RAE'S NOTE; oh my lord (👁👁). i like the angst this one could lead to...

this couldn't be happening. no, please, it had to be a joke, a very bad one.

the scene in what was once a quiet space that served as a lounge for the renowned, and disowned, group of hit men known as la squadra di esecuzione, had turned into a real disaster.

however, the disaster was not obvious at first glance, it really wasn't at all.

the room, illuminated only by a few lighted lamps, was dead; the most terrifying silence ruled it completely. all the members, nine men that each one oftheir own made anyone terrify, sunk in the gloomiest of deadly silences.

on the center table, a glass table not very high, was full of various photos. polaroid images taken over several days, weeks and even months, which were mainly focused on a single person.

—what are we going to do…?

pesci asked uncertainly, his green orbs falling mainly on the two most authority figures in the room; mainly in his fratello prosciutto and then in that of the head of the group, risotto nero. noth men's faces with an expression of complete seriousness.

—isn't it obvious?

ghiaccio, who –surprising coming from him– was calm, began to speak. although everyone knew that right now, both he and the rest were a time bomb which, each with their respective remaining time, was about to explode.

the scenario was simple, as simple as it was unnerving for the nine men. it seems that during the last few months someone has intercepted them along with a certain someone, someone they wanted out of their world as much as possible; however, life is never the way you want it to be, much less in their field of work.

someone seemed to have seen them, on multiple occasions, with that one person, which led to what none of them wanted to happen.

—they've been kidnapped…

the murmur of disbelief that came from formaggio's lips revealed how complicated the situation was. and it's that, if the photos of them didn't deceive -which they surely did not-, someone had kidnapped them and kept them locked up in who knows where.

a soft, but efficient blow was given in the table, leading the men present there to startle before directing each and every one of their glances to whoever hit the table with his clenched fist.

—melone and ghiaccio, find the ip of all their devices plus check the security cameras close by. formaggio and illuso, both to their apartment to see if there's any possible trace we can follow. prosciutto, pesci, sorbet and gelato try to find out who the kidnappers might have been.

as always, the voice of reason in the group spoke loud and clear. risotto's bloodshot eyes locked on his companions one by one as their names escaped his lips, making it clear to them what they had to do.

—we're going to find them and make whoever kidnapped them suffer until their last breath.

[squadrah]

From My CuriousCat

"Headcanons for epidemics at the La Squadra home base? Maybe it's the flu season, or maybe it is mass food poisoning, - assassins are getting sick left and right. thoughts, vibes, scenarios?"

I will go with general sickness!

My very first thought was that Prosciutto recovers the quickest - not because he's healthy or his immune system is strong, but because he has no qualms about blasting himself repeatedly with The Grateful Dead until the virus/bacteria/etc. is purged from his system. He also uses The Grateful Dead to fumigate his apartment and any other place he passes through, so he is an extremely effective killer of air-borne diseases. The only problem is, no member of La Squadra is willing to let him use The Grateful Dead on them directly except for Gelato from time to time, which means they must suffer through their illnesses as best they can and Prosciutto is stuck going to the pharmacy and procuring food for them while they do that.

(Just imagine Prosciutto in a white suit with a red shirt underneath going about the base checking in on everyone and doing what he has to and that's basically my vision of La Squadra when ill, lmaooo.)

Risotto is usually very stout, but when he gets sick he's prone to lamenting his existence and his choices. Whether he's sick or not, though, he always feels like a furnace so sicker members will definitely congregate to him for warmth. Very grateful for any attention.

Pesci, like Risotto, is very resilient and often helps Prosciutto run errands for the sick and offers positivity at this trying time. When he gets sick, it really is just that bad. Whenever illness gets to him, he caves into the weakness and dissolves into a whining mess, but nobody can stay angry or annoyed with him for long, so it's fine.

Formaggio is the type that gets sick, tries to take care of himself, fails repeatedly, and finally they're like "JUST GO BACK TO BED, ASSHOLE!" and nurse him properly. Very cuddly when ill, and makes terrible jokes about it, so some patience is required.

Illuso gets one whiff of illness going about and he immediately retreats to the mirror world, locking out all germs. He has a pair of unused rubber gloves on his person at all times for such emergencies, and will reach out of the mirror wearing those if he needs anything. Will not help anyone, he's too worried about contracting their diseases despite technically having the means of purging himself with his ability. Old habits of wanting to get away from the nastiness of other people's sickness die hard.

Melone is already sickly, so if he gets sicker it's pretty much an emergency. Thankfully the others keep tabs on him and Baby Face laptop searching for pills around the living area is a good indicator that Melone needs help ASAP. A very patient sufferer, however, so despite his conditions, he is one of the easiest to look after.

Ghiaccio on the other hand is the angry sufferer. He hates life a lot but BOY does he fucking hate life if he's sick on top of it. Grumbles endlessly until he's hoarse. No comfort to anyone whatsoever. He's sometimes cared for in isolation because he makes the rest even more miserable.

Sorbet is only a notch below Ghiaccio because he also hates suffering and the unpleasant physical biproducts of illness, particularly clamminess and migraines. You would normally think of him as placid and nonchalant, but the moment he's down, he sours like vinegar and has a low but acrid rant locked and loaded for anyone who talks to him unnecessarily while he's languishing.

Meanwhile, Gelato absolutely refuses to be ill. Like Formaggio, he will take to self-medicating, but unlike Formaggio, he is more successful because 1) he is willing to ask Prosciutto to blast the culprits out of his system, and 2) before he ever asks Prosciutto, he will crawl to his cabinet, get the navy rum out, and swallow enough in one go to knock himself unconscious. Whenever he wakes up, he's usually almost back to normal. Everyone hates this.

[wispisstillverybored67]

Tarot Cards and Assassins, ft. Sorbet.

Don't think I'd leave Gelato out by his lonesome, now! The Arcana is the means by which all is revealed...

For him, I'll give him...

The devil. I "draw" the Devil Arcana.

While upright, it represents violence, commitment, temptation, chained to base desires, and drive. Reversed, it symbolizes blindness, childishness, and feebleness.

We have slightly more info on him than his husband, and this little piece is the fateful piece that started it all. This one was easiest to dissect together.

According to Nero, he's motivated by money, at least to where he'd show up for meetings to get his share. And in the updated graphic in the same episode, he's the one with the scowl on his face while Gelato held the payment. It's very realistic that the idea of scoring more $ from the hated boss was so tempting, he jumped at the first not-opportunity. Diavolo's name directly translates to "devil", further signaling a motif of the devil tempting the sinful. And in his case, there wasn't even a reward when he took the bait, apart from death.

His efforts came undone, putting himself, his husband, and later his closest friends on the chopping block, his execution signifying their fates coming undone. However, even Sorbet's brief appearance showcased the reversed Devil.

Blinded to the worst case scenario, he flew too close to the sun, and was rendered pathetic in his last moments. He couldn't even see his husband die. He acted on impulse, and NOW SEE WHAT HAPPENED! He could only watch as his life withered away under the knife.

He is, as mentioned before on his husband's post, usually the touchier one, on a much lighter note, showing his tempting to probably make love with him right then and there. The two insisted on doing every mission together, were they not? Could ya really blame Illuso (implied to have spied on the two having sex before) for thinking that with the little info we got on them?

Additionally, even in the Persona side of things, those under the Devil card of supports are more harsh. You usually see Sorbet as such in fanworks. And I do ascribe to... certain ideals but I have a huge soft spot for a secretly really anxious Sorbet, puhuhuhuh... He seems to be the moon to Gelato's sun, get it? And his shark fin ass hair reminds one of a horn.

With this, his Arcana is the Devil. Have we learned nothing from Cuphead?

"I am thou, thou art I Thou hast turned a vow into a blood oath.

Thy bond shall become the wings of rebellion and break the yoke of thy heart. Thou hast awakened to the ultimate secret of the Devil, granting thee infinite power..."

[scientist-of-love]

i am so tired rn i do not have the energy to draw but know i am imagining so many scenarios with sorbet and gelato

[shineonyoucrazyyandere]

May I please for a scenario or headcanons for poly La Squadra including Sorlato with fem darling who knows about their interest towards her and her saying this:

"I know your interest in me, and I'm willing to return those feelings if you let me continue working in my doll shop and you guys work there. Also, I know your original paychecks sucks, so we all get what we want."

Cool, extra hands to help out? Seems like a good bargain, on the surface, there’s no take backs once you say “yes” and being Yandere they will test their dearests mettle to the limits.

Yandere! La Squadra w/ doll shop owner darling

So whether you repair, sell, make dolls, they’re all ready to help. Which depending on the options could be quite chaotic. There will be times they absolutely make you uncomfortable.

Formaggio probably makes comments of how this is rather a bit girly for him and he’d rather just hang around you, Illuso makes a jab at his statement in which these two have a little back and forth. They don’t really end up fighting but there’s a little intensity you can feel.

He then keeps coming up to you for the smallest of tasks or takes forever on certain bits that should be child’s play. It’s absolutely on purpose and almost impossible to get him off your back.

He also mentions you’re so sweet for paying them. That it’s a good thing that he’s there with the others, otherwise you could get taken advantage of. He’s only allowed to do that, and you can feel the irony of his statement thick in the air.

Sewing/clothing repair is interestingly enough right up Pesci’s alley. He’s worked with fishing line and other thin wires so learning isn’t hard when you teach him. Which you likely praise him for how quickly he’s picked things up.

If you compliment him he gets rather shaky, you swear you see some blush to his cheeks, and Prosciutto scolds him to at least try and keep his composure. His heart flys to the moon if you think his nervousness is cute.

Prosciutto is sort of beaming with pride, but at the same time insists having some time with you himself. There might be a lingering amount of jealousy he had for Pesci’s praise coming from you, but he puts that aside and decides he needs to step up his game.

He gets all professional with you and staring at your stitch work, he’ll immediately help you with any snag/mistake you might’ve made. There’s a point he might even guide your own hands if he sees the need.

He absolutely makes sure you can feel him beside you, and is memorizing every type of fabric you use, the measurements, and accessories. Is he much too close to one side of your ear? That’s a yes. He’ll even tell you it’s absolutely necessary, somehow batting off your concerns as if they’re excuses.

Sorbet and Gelato are an interesting pair that love keeping each other company whenever they can dip out. It feels like they’re unproductive in their work, but by the time you’re closing every little thing you asked them to do is done. It seems they’re rather great at keeping your dolls clean honestly. This does come at a personal cost, if no one else is cornering you Sorbet and Gelato will absolutely be there. Gelato seems to recommend certain dolls be rearranged in a certain way. A couple of them are plucked and the money is all in the register. Sorbet on the other hand seems to be great at seeing which ones have massive value if you received a donation or sale. Telling you them to lock them behind glass, the two of them seem to joke about locking you beind a cute glass display. The way they say it seemingly romantically doesn’t feel like a joke however.

Melone does very well with making sure all of your money is accounted for, somehow he knows all your expenses and other things he probably shouldn’t know about you.

If you’re working in the back and he comes into help with a little dusting or cleaning. He will make pretty suggestive comments about you, and suggests some of the outfits the dolls have would be adorable. If you distract him with something such as horoscopes, he immediately explains every little thing about each sign. How you two positively match and were meant to be. Can end up being rather overwhelming.

He does end up having good suggestions on what people seem to gravitate towards. Which of course he tells you this in great detail.

No matter what job he’s put in he almost always manages to be creepy someway, so you’re likely to have him somewhere out of sight out of mind. He doesn’t consider this a punishment in the slightest, and will certainly take advantage with flirting with you behind the scenes. Having him in front of customers is a big no-no however.

Ghiaccio is another handful of his own, he gets sets off pretty easily so you have to figure out a decent way for him to work on something. He does tend to grab your hand occasionally and gently pull you over to him without warning. (Except around risotto).

He does get very agitated if a customer tries to disrespect you. They may not ever come back if he gets their hands on them.

Insists on having you within his eyesight almost constantly, or at least having you around with whatever task you’re having him do.

You do have to coach him out of his jealousy rages or getting aggravated at another member occasionally. Usually you end up making him some type of tea, he indeed relishes this.

Illuso is likely to be the best at being at the front (aside from yourself or prosciutto). He rather enjoys that you don’t mind him “hogging” the position. It gives him an easy way to be almost constantly in your presence.

He’s thorough on whatever you task him with, he wouldn’t be an assassin if he wasn’t capable after all. He’s so thorough he takes advantage and insists to help you himself. Does his best to make you flustered at any given point in the day.

He definitely stalks you and will chillingly mention a show you liked on tv the night before. Unironically engaging in said show’s contents, all while reveling in your conflicting expressions. He’ll fluster you even more if given the chance, up to the point he’s pulled away to do something else.

Risotto is his another enigma with his obsessiveness, he insists on doing everything during closing hours. Taking inventory/stocking, some of your business side paperwork is done even though you didn’t ask him to. He seems normal on the outside but there’s this aura about him that inwardly sets you off. Like he never wants you to leave his sight.

Any troublesome things occurring outside your business (and your home if it’s not right by) cease. He absolutely follows you home every night and early morning when possible. You’ll never see him however, he makes sure of that. He keeps his team in line when need be, but ironically that means you as well.

He wants you comfortable but he’s not afraid of going right to the edge of insanity to keep you around. He’ll certainly coordinate with other members of the team. He considers your “yes” a contract of approval and will do what he sees fit to keep you around. If that means going to the lengths of threatening others so be it. But he and the others already agreed upon this regardless of how you felt about them.

There are dozens of times he just seems to pop out of nowhere on you. He doesn’t seem to have issue with this in the slightest, if you need your hand held from nearly having a heart attack he’s there to oblige.

Just before he goes out on a mission, he always leaves a favorite food of yours (packaged preferably) on your desk.

If you wonder how he got in without giving him with a key, he likely used Metallica to figure out the shape of the keyhole of your locks.

[silvernyxchariot]

You know what I just realized?/rh I made a “Would I date that JoJo villain” for the mains but what about ✨️Mah Bois✨️. It’s rather rude of me to forget about them, I would say.

My answer is “Yes” to all of them. Good night.

.

.

.

...You’re still here? Okay, I guess I’ll give you my answers, but also some bullet points on “how many drinks it would take to smash.”

Gelato + Sorbet: No :) six drinks to smash though.

They are a “two for one deal,” no exceptions. I say “No” simply because we don’t know enough about them for me to make a full opinion. The headcanons are fun, y’all, but not enough for a poly-cule.

~ They probably into some freaky shit.

~ Welp, I’d be there for a good time, not a long time.

~ Threesome

Formaggio: Yes and five shots to smash

But we’d break up after about a month or he would break up with me after a week after finding out that I’m “boring.” He has that “jock/athlete who is secretly into the nerdy librarian” vibe. So I imagine it like this, “No. I don’t want to go out drinking, Formaggio;” “No, I don’t want to watch the game with you.” We’d be a cute couple and all, but the bond isn’t there since we have different interests outside of La Squadra. I’d also want someone who is more earnest. That’s the best way I can explain it. He wouldn’t be a bad boyfriend, he’d just need someone who vibes well with him.

~ “Do you wash your hands?” Not even just your hands, do you wash ya ass?

~ Honest questions

~ Seems like he’d be a one night though

Illuso: Yes and seven shots to smash

~ Minus a shot because I want to play with his cat

He’s hot, yes. We’d date and hang out three times and then we’d separate and disappear into the void. Just ghost each other. The only thing he’d claim out of these dates is a kiss good night. It would take seven shots to fuck and then maybe we’d stay together for the sex but let’s be ffr, he’s not in it for the long term relationship.

~ Probably never shuts up

~ Narcissistic

~ Will talk in third person

~ At least he’s pretty

Pesci: No, but if I were feeling up to it, one shot to smash

You’re timid. I’m reserved. If you don’t care, I don’t care. He's not my favorite. This relationship is over before it ever starts. The only way even meet is through Prosciutto.

~ He might need some guidance because he’s a little nervous.

~ He’d be able to listen and would oddly know aftercare.

~ He picked up what Not to do by watching women leave Prosciutto.

~ Cute but not my favorite

Prosciutto: No. To smash it would take nine shots… or more.

He looks good but he already lost because he looks like he’d backhand me. Physically or verbally, I will let you decide. Especially if I see him and Pesci in the middle of one of his pep talks. I will be walking in the opposite direction. Do I trust him to be a gentleman? No, not at all. And… that generally goes for all of La Squadra but I’m doing this in a case by case scenario.

~ He’s hot but. . .

~ He’ll either nag me or lecture me the entire time.

~ Try hard Dom, feels like he wouldn’t listen to me

~ Not a night I’d want to repeat.

~ Tried to teach Pesci but failed

Melone: Yes with ZERO shots to smash

Probably the only one in this group that I would date for at least three months. Besides Risotto as my kin, Melone falls into, hmmmmmm, third place on my JJBA kin list. I’m all for perverted Melone but manga Melone hits different. He’s calculating, analytical, and precise with what he needs to activate Baby Face. I wouldn’t consider him vanilla. He’s wearing a cut-up jumpsuit; he’s probably a little freaky but also attentive to his partner, you know.

~ Another fun one in bed

~ Looks flexible and willing to experiment.

~ He’s also really pretty

~ Plus 3 shots because of his (anime only) foot fetish. Do not lick my feet, Melone.

~ Def would like to exchange numbers for booty call

Ghiaccio: Yes with zero shots to smash

~ Everyone, shut up. I love him.

He screm. A lot. Ghiaccio, we can hear you from the opposite side of the building. I’d find that endearing, as long as his screms aren’t pointed at me. It’s also one thing to get scremed at as a lecture *stares at Prosciutto* versus someone you know habitually screms on command/trigger. Like, “Why is this man screaming into his phone about books and leaves?¿ It’s– It’s pronounced Venezia. Thank you, you told me that yesterday… and the day before.” It would be a slow burn relationship. Yes, I know I spelled “scream” as “screm.”

~ ✨️Angry Sex ✨️

~ Likes to verbally degrade his sex partner

~ I would leave that room with bruises, but I’m okay with that

~ If he smashes like he smashed his car’s dashboard….. hhhngghghgh.

~ Honestly, all he has to do his pick me up and press me against a wall.

~ I’d suck his dick at the snap of his fingers.

Risotto Nero: No. Two shots to smash.

~ ???

I was gonna say, “Maybeee,” but since I have doubt my answer is a full “No.” We look like we would date. Just two goths in un-gothly places for a date. How much in common would we have though?/rh I don't see our relationship lasting very long. I give it…. Hm, 2 weeks. Maybe 4 weeks of the sex is good. For it to go even further, one of us must be overly affectionate. . . We all know that’s not going to be him. . . . . . Sure, let's pretend that I'm cuddly outside of fanfics.

~ Looks like he would groan and grunt a lot

~ I feel like he’d toss me around a lot.

~ “If it doesn’t hurt a little, it’s not fun.”

~ “Accidentally,” forgets your safe word the first time.

~ Another one where I leave with bruises.

~ 10/10 would like to smash again

Disclaimer: ⭐️ My work is for personal purposes and entertainment. Duh. Do Not claim as your own or use it for profit.

[josukebrainrot]

𝐫𝐮𝐥𝐞𝐬

blog started: October 4th, 2020

carrd

——

call me jaiden

my timezone is cst (american central standard time)

because of school, work, and other stuff like fixations request can take some time

what i write

headcannons

imagines

scenarios

other discussions bc I like to talk about random shit

things I don’t write

stuff incest, p*doph*lia, abuse, cnc, watersports

angst can be hard so i barely do it

ships bc I don’t really have any ships from jjba I like (its only giornoxmista, prociuttoxnero, and like whatever the stone ocean group has going on)

I don’t write for characters like cioccolatta (you know why), secco, and pesci. I also don’t write very minor characters like sorbet and gelato but I will talk about them because its fun to hc their relationship

other things

I write in the gender neutral format because I am nonbinary and all my homies deserve to enjoy fics and its actually really easy to do but I can write gendered stuff on the occasion

Character requests are limited to up to five

I will write in some form of ocs but if its too specific that I feel like its way to personal and I can’t get a feel of it, I won’t do it

requests can take a minute like I said above

prompts/templates

prompt list (I made for other blog)

my other blogs

main: @kiyumi-sakusa

one piece: @captainwholecake

wrestling: @hellishmox

[icerisotto]

[ : MASTERLIST : ]

❛ guide. ꒰ 🦢 ꒱

☆ = fluff.

✦ = smut.

♡ = angst.

✶ = crack.

♱ = content warning.

❀ = longfic.

✿ = oneshot.

✹ = shortfic.

✧ = scenario.

❥ ' la squadra di esecuzione. ﹒ ﹢

⌦ la squadra headcanons and scenarios. — multiship. (☆✦♡✶♱✧)

⌦ la squadra with a silent teammate. — no ship. (☆♡✧)

⌦ giorno libero. — poly la squadra di esecuzione minus pesci (✦✿).

⌦ marmelatta di fragole. — background risotto﹢ ghiaccio﹢ prosciutto (✦♡♱❀).

⌦ goffo. — background poly la squadra di esecuzione minus pesci (☆✶♱✿).

⌦ luminare. — background risotto﹢ ghiaccio﹢ prosciutto and formaggio (☆♡✶✿).

⌦ spirito. — background risotto﹢ ghiaccio﹢ prosciutto, sorbet﹢ gelato and mentioned la squadra di esecuzione (✦♡♱✹).

⌦ veleno. — risotto﹢ ghiaccio﹢ prosciutto (♡♱✹).

⌦ freddezza. — ghiaccio﹢ prosciutto (✦♡♱✿).

⌦ sorveglianza. — ghiaccio﹢ melone (✦✿).

⌦ guinea pig. — poly la squadra di esecuzione minus pesci (✦✶✿).

⌦ slumber party. — ghiaccio﹢ secco, background la squadra di esecuzione and cioccolata (✦✶✿).

⌦ kiss and make up. — ghiaccio﹢ prosciutto and background la squadra di esecuzione (✦✶♱✿).

⌦ the hat stays on. — ghiaccio﹢ risotto and background la squadra di esecuzione (✦♱✿).

❥ ' squadra guardie del corpo. ﹒ ﹢

⌦ marmelatta di fragole. — mista﹢ bucciarati﹢ abbacchio (✦♡♱❀).

⌦ smelly cowboy trilogy. — mista﹢ bucciarati﹢ abbacchio (☆✦♱✿).

⌦ goffo. — background mista﹢ bucciarati﹢ abbacchio (☆✶♱✿).

⌦ squalo affamato. — mista﹢ bucciarati (☆✦♡♱✿).

⌦ luminare. — mista﹢ bucciarati (☆♡✶✿).

⌦ spirito. — mista﹢ bucciarati﹢ abbacchio and squadra guardie del corpo (✦♡♱✹).

⌦ soldato. — mista﹢ bucciarati﹢ abbacchio (☆✿).

⌦ chimerico. — mista﹢ bucciarati (♡♱✿).

⌦ spuntino. — mista﹢ bucciarati﹢ abbacchio (☆✦♡✿).

⌦ penitenza. — mista﹢ bucciarati﹢ abbacchio (☆✦♱✿).

❥ ' l'unità speciale. ﹒ ﹢

⌦ slumber party. — ghiaccio﹢ secco, background cioccolata (✦✶✿).

⌦ doctor's prescription. — cioccolata﹢ secco (✦♱✿).

[ask-la-squadra]

I have a little scenario that I’ve concocted for you guys- deranged? Maybe- all of you guys are on a deserted island, can’t use your abilities, so have to fend off for yourselves. Push comes to shove, everyone’s starving, so you have to choose a person to kill and eat for survival, who would you sacrifice?

(To mod, I love your blog smmmmm, thanks so much for your amazing content)

Risotto Nero - Oooo I love hypotheticals like this, okay so I wouldn't want to sacrifice any of them obviously, but if we had to then it would make sense to choose the person who would be the most worth it so we didn't have to kill another, and in all honesty it makes sense to either be me or LuLu since we're the biggest, but I couldn't kill him so I think I'd offer myself.

Pros - I'd agree with Risso, but it'd be LuLu instead of course

Pesci - I'd offer myself, I couldn't live with killing any of the others, I don't think I could stomach eating them anyway. They're all more worth survival than I am

Maggi - Ghiaccio.

LuLu - Ghiaccio

Melone - Pesci has a meaty neck, I won't lie I've had to resist biting it, so maybe Pesci just so I could

Ghiaccio - WHY WOULD I ANSWER A STUPID HYPOTHETICAL LIKE THIS WHATS THE POINT ITLL NEVER HAPPEN?!?!?!?

Sorbet - Ghiaccio

Gelato - If I was stuck on an island with these idiots not knowing when I'd be saved I'd throw myself on that fire without blinking, try and find some herbs and stick 'em in my mouth too.

(mod - I loved answering this so much omg)

[rae-pss]

˗ˏˋ JOJO'S BIZARRE ADVENTURES !

previous

༉‧₊˚. ─ HEADCANONS !

— bucciarati gang & la squadra reacting to their future s/o singing barbie dreams

— la squadra reacting to their s/o having a collection of haunted dolls

— la squadra reacting to their s/o ripping someone's throat after feeling in danger

— la squadra during soccer/football season

— bruno, abbachio and mista with an s/o with a medusa-like stand

— la squadra with an s/o that sleepwalks

༉‧₊˚. ─ DRABBLES !

— bucciarati gang & la squadra's respective s/o are bff

— la squadra's s/o is kidnapped

— soulmate au with sorlatto

༉‧₊˚. ─ SCENARIOS !

— kars ai cover of la llorona

༉‧₊˚. ─ INCORRECT QUOTES !

— my hands are cold (illuso)

— ask someone out (pesci & formaggio)

— the autocorrect (risotto)

— the food is hot (sorbet, gelato, ghiaccio & prosciutto)

— i fell (illuso)

— better as friends (melone)

— seducing into healthy sleep (risotto)

༉‧₊˚. ─ RANDOM !

— songs that remind me of la squadra but i'm projecting my romantic interest with music related to their stands

— songs that remind me of bucciarati's gang but i'm projecting my romantic interest with music related to their stands

— is melone a cat or a ferret?

— which desing of melone and formaggio i prefer

— vibes from formaggio, illuso and melone (chubby s/o)

— illuso's a fan of twice | illuso likes old spanish woman music

— pet gifs of jojo's villains (from part 2 to 5) heads

[kindajared]

Okay okay bro... I am once again requesting something. Can I get anything, a n y t h i n g, for sorbet and gelato? They're interesting characters but there is no content for them. Take your time tho, ily💗

(I g i v e <3)

Something fishy was going on with those two devils, Sorbet and Gelato…and you couldn’t quite figure out what it was…but goodness, you needed to know. They were always making mischief and doing stupid and risky things for the fun of it. You learned to stop worrying about their safety and well being a while ago, but you were curious as to what they were doing on that night. They had been whispering to each other all day long. That wasn’t exactly out of character but still, you were suspicious.

It was ten past two at night and you and the other two were still awake.  They weren’t in their room, that’s the only evidence you had. You walked down the thin hallway out into the main area where you and the crew often sat and talked. The two were nowhere to be seen. You looked from left to right, when you looked to the right you noticed the door to your Capo’s office was cracked, a small beam of light ran across the floor. You could have sworn Risotto had gone to bed, you squirted your eyes and crept towards the door. You heard soft voices and instantly recognized them. You slipped your fingers through the crack and gripped the door, opening it to find who you had expected.

The two of them looked up from the Capo’s desk, a lock box open in front of them.

“What the fuck are you two doing?”

You opened the door quickly; you had an idea of what they were doing. They were morons, but stealing money? No way. That was too much. You approached them with furrowed brows. Gelato spoke.

“Nothing in particular. What the fuck are you doing, baby?”

He responder to your immediate question. When you got to the desk you placed your hands on it.

“Risotto is going to kill you.”

You told them seriously. They just laughed. You hated when they refused to take things seriously. You scoffed and circled the desk, bumping up against Gelato. You looked at what they had been looking at. It was a large sum of money.

“So, what is Risotto going to think when he finds out this is missing? Who will he blame? Any bright ideas?”

You looked at them, obviously frustrated. Gelato wrapped his arm around you and shook you gently.

“Stop worrying, (Y/N). We never get caught. Besides, you’re an accessory now.”

Your eyes widened before you huffed. They were right…and you weren’t going to snitch on them. You’d seen them do plenty of shit like this and managed never to tell. You reached forward and placed your palm on the lid of the lockbox and closed it. The two shot you a look of confusion.

“C’mon, don’t be like that.”

Sorbet complained. You worried to much. You were a goody two-shoes, according to them at least.

“You’ll thank me. Besides, Mafioso need to be loyal. You guys are going to get yourselves killed. I will too if I keep keeping my mouth shut about this stuff.”

You glared at them. They just shook their heads, eyes closed, disappointed in your lack of ‘adventure’.

“Baby…”

Gelato took ahold of your face with both of his hands. His menacing eyes met your, though he still had a smile on his face.

“How is this different from any other times we’ve done this?”

You rolled your eyes, sighing.

“I hate the two of you.”

The two of them chuckled, Gelato looked back at Sorbet with a smirk.

“We know.”

@simpforabba <3