#sooooorry for talking about k9 prowl constantly and forever. i love it when boys are treated like dogs

[mychlapci]

Since you mentioned k9 prowl- something that always absolutely slaughters me in these kinds of scenarios-

Like we've talked about how badly Prowl picks up on the fact that he doesn't have to be an animal and that he can have his own needs and wants and he can do whatever he wants honestly. He still doesn't get it. Even when he's moved to his caretakers home- he doesn't really know why he's there. It would never occur to him that he would fulfil the role of a servant type bot either. He's not really a pet. Maybe he's a guard? He doesn't understand. The only thing he understands is that he works here. He doesn't quite have the concept of a 'home'.

He only does what he's told. He only goes where he's told to go. No matter how many times his caretaker tells him the place is his as much as it is his caretaker's, Prowl doesn't accept it. There's a part of his processor that doesn't understand.

But obviously Prowl isn't stupid. It's going to reach a point where he is going to understand. There's going to come a point where he trusts this caretaker, as weird as they may be. He would know what the caretaker says is true, and yet he actively rejects what he's told. His caretaker wouldn't lie to him, and yet he simply cannot allow himself to think that this is his home. He doesn't have a home. He doesn't DESERVE a home.

The fact that he's useless and has not had a real job or case to solve for so long still eats at him. This also becomes another active point of contention in his processor. Because his caretaker tells him again and again that he doesn't have to do that. He's not bound to that anymore. He should never have been. And that doesn't make him worth any more or less. But Prowl actively rejects it in his mind.

The mental stress often drives Prowl into states of what he would consider to be needless periods of being unfit for duty. He curls up and whimpers and holds his helm in his hands, the conflicting processes not just draining him mentally but driving his processor to physical pain. His caretaker would always sit by him and gently hold him, sometimes carefully stroking his shaking doorwings. (And honestly cos the more this comes up the more I'm inclined to say his caretaker is OP) If his caretaker is a bigger mech maybe they carry him so he can at least lie on something soft, like on the couch or something.

This is another thing that stresses Prowl out. Laying on furniture. Being held. The gentle servos on his doorwings that no longer hurt. They are all so... comfortable. Things he shouldn't have. Comfort shouldn't matter to him. But he wants it. And wanting is bad. And yet his caretaker says its fine. They say it's okay. They say he SHOULD want things. And it scares him.

Eventually, one day, when he's distressed and in pain, he drags himself over to where his caretaker sits on the sofa. He looks up, afraid, doorwings held low, as he watches his caretaker for any signs of anger or disapproval, before climbing onto the couch and curling up by their side, laying his aching helm on their lap. His processor screams at him when he does.

He's shaking. His processor screams at him that everything he just did was wrong in every possible way. He's ready to be thrown off or hit or-

Then he feels his caretaker's gentle servo on his back. Gentle strokes down his spinal struts have him slowly stop shaking. He's okay. He's not in trouble. The servo moves to carefully smooth over his quivering doorwings until they lay comfortably back down. He's. He's safe.

The caretaker is gonna heckin cry btw cos for Prowl to trust them? To finally do something of his own volition?? To actively seek comfort??

... I have literally been thinking of this exact same scenario for a few days now. it's sooo good. and also, gonna let you in on a secret, i have just been straight up imagining Optimus as his full-time caretaker for a long time now. I think he still works at the rescue, but if there's no huge crack-downs happening, his hours are short and he's mostly at home. It makes him perfect for giving Prowl the attention he needs.

Prowl is smart, he's resourceful, he's intelligent, but he just cannot put himself in the mind of a real mech. i suppose it's best he's eased into it, since he doesn't look like the type who'd take it well if his entire framework of life was shattered instantly in one fell swoop... Besides, the enforcers beat all 'normal' behaviour out of him, bit by bit when Prowl was still young and had desires of his own. That leaves a mark. He doesn't really remember it, being shoved down onto his knees, collared and muzzled, not understanding why. Being told that dogs don't speak, dogs don't walk on two legs. But whether he remembers it or not, it is cemented in his processor.

I imagine Prowl would have travelled between cages a lot, never having a place to call home, not even his cage ever belonged to him. So it's difficult to shake off the feeling of distrust. His caretaker will send him away, he knows that. It's going to happen one day, and he'll be back at the precinct, doing his job... it's a surprisingly comforting thought, one that withers away the longer he has to spend in this house.

aaaa Optimus feels so bad when Prowl starts getting sick in his care. It's not a physical ailment, just the stress of it all... which is almost worse, in a way, because now it feels like he's causing it. The day Prowl comes to him for comfort is like a miracle. He's never done that before. He's never asked or demanded anything nor has he really done anything out of his own volition or without being prompted before. I mean, if this was an ideal recovery, Prowl would have talked to him about it, but small steps count. They absolutely do.

... and, over time, maybe Prowl learns to want again. It's not perfect, he's still nervous and unsure, feeling like he doesn't deserve it since he's not working, but he comes to Optimus more often. If he wants a cube of energon outside of breakfast-lunch-dinner, he'll still ask for permission, but at least he's asking instead of just waiting until what he, in his processor, dubbed feeding time. He'll wander around the house more, and eventually, he'll take up the entire couch as he gets super invested in shitty detective dramas on tv. It's almost starting to feel like Optimus has a roommate instead of a distressed pet, even if things aren't perfect yet... And if this is the best it gets for Prowl? Well, at least he's comfortable.