#soooo talented and all rounded to make up for. a lot. but rlly im just average in a lot of things. which isnt bad!! but

[utahimeow]

CHAR SDABFASDF literally i just messaged u the other day abt one of my fics and here i am AGAIN omg hsgbhajs u always catch me when i'm doing the rounds but also this is rlly just cos u r so incredibly supportive of my writing i am SOBBING 😭🥹💕

i just read ur tags on both 'too good to be mine' and 'so this is what it means...' and !!! oh my god first: i am so sorry for the angst in 'too good to be mine' sahdbgsahdj i was so sad writing that 😭 but i am so glad u liked it!!! (sniffle sniffle sob sob)

second!! ur tags in 'so this is what it means...' I AM CRYING!! RN !! FOR REAL !!! WTAF 😭 that line!! oh my god i am so glad u like it bc it made me tingle too writing it asdbgsj & the photos!! the photo!!! oh my god i was actually in such a Mood writing that, i feel like i was possessed or smth fr sdbgdsj to say that i write grief so beautifully, oh god i can only aspire to char 🤧 it's such a delicate topic i'm so glad you see it that way (seriously so so so flattered) 🥺

you're so cute writing all ur fave scenes UGH i love it !!! I LOVE YOU !!! and he is completely whipped u are so right im so glad u felt that 😭 & the angst scene... omg i had such a hard time writing that i was in a Hole for a few days writing that bc i was so sad.... FR 😭 i'm glad it translated into the writing but also so sorry it made u feel like that 😭

you!! are for real!! just!!! flattering me so much char!! showering me with all these nice things about my writing!!! it's such a compliment coming from you I AM SNIFFLING 😭 thank you thank you thank YOU for reading my stuff??? omg ?? ik it takes up a lot of time 😭 and for u to even write tags like this oh god 😭😭 i love u !!!!!

sel i hope u know i’m not a fan of the angst genre but when u write it. u make soooo worth it because you just do it SO WELL. i love ur writing voice/style so much, like it’s not complex but it’s still so detailed? and it just hits so hard, sometimes i read a line and my jaw just drops because you’re such a genius. truly reading this fic series has just felt like it was me watching u flex ur talent and i’m HERE FOR IT !! reading every piece has been such a treat and i know i keep saying this but u really should be so proud of urself for writing something so beautiful and emotional, love u sm n im so excited to read more

[zhuhongs]

i rlly wish i was someone that liked cooking more. i rlly never have like. a back log of food that ive pre prepared that i can have whenever. whenever i cook i make small batch and if i make more it usually goes bad and i just wish i was more organized and ate out less. bc id save money also itd be easier to eat when im hungry rather than wait and figure out what i can make with what i do have and i rlly need to go shopping but money is limited also its 6am and i woke up bc my mom was loud getting my dog up for a walk and now i cannt go back to bed bc im hungry and :(((

[tossertozier]

I can assure you we do NOT know, I can't think of a single damn shit. But I'm sorry this is happening to you!! Is there anyone you can ask about it, see what they say? Even ur fiance?

we’re spilling ALL the tea ladies!! everyone gather round i’ve taken pain meds today!!

the TRUTH of the matter, is my fiancé has read &tfat & supports me and thinks i have talent for writing. but he doesn’t love the story itself.

lemme explain. &tfat was written as a manifestation of my personal experiences & certain relationships i’ve had. richie is so heavily based off of a person that used to be really prominent in my life (& i still care about him but i moved and i see him less and distance rlly helped heal some things between us) to the extent it is uncomfortable to write on occasion now that i am deeply in love with someone else and truly emotionally fulfilled by my current relationship. there was a time in my life where i NEEDED to write this to cope & im just past that now. i know i’m being vague but. i can’t not be. i literally get antsy and uncomfortable talking about this with my THERAPIST & have not admitted in plain speech any sort of feelings for this person (i literally shut down when trying to talk to anyone about this) which like. is nuts. i’m aware. like how i felt about him is clearly written in every word of &tfat but i for whatever reason cannot be like “i felt x thing for x person” i cAnNot.

now, to be fair. yeah, eddie is a bit of a self insert. he always is in my fics. i think all of the characters always ends up with bits of self in them, but moreso eddie. but like. to make it clear, i am NO eddie kaspbrak and i don’t claim to be. not even my own fanfiction version of eddie. in real life... i am the least confrontational person alive. i’m very quiet & i love inside voices and talking privately in small groups. i even write eddie as more flamboyant than i am. most people i’ve met since moving & gaining a tame wardrobe have assumed i’m straight until proven otherwise. my anxiety shows itself in nearly opposite ways to the way i write eddie’s. so it’s not like i’m like “lol i’m sitting here writing about me and this guy falling in love bc i’m not over it right in front of my fiancé’s face.” truly. but a lot of the emotions these characters are feeling & the character / relationship development arches are based on my own experiences and i’m so emotionally past this part of my life it is much more difficult to write than it used to be. (not that i was ever a super speedy updater. but i once was faster than this.)

but overall, sometimes i ask him to read something over, but i try and not shove this story in his face all the time as something i want to finish. there are obviously other aspects to &tfat that aren’t related to this person at all, like obviously the entire story is not about richie. for example, bens arch we’ve really only just started to dive into, the overall emotions of giving up your “childhood” and struggling to figure out exactly who you are outside of the group identity, that make me really want to finish it. but hopefully this sheds some light on why it is... soooo slow going.